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that-gt-and-vore-stuffs · 3 years

Text

Experiment 05SB

Alternatively titled “I’m sorry 2B don’t hate me please”

I hath given in to the M4dc0m brain rot at the cost of me now having written a 7k+ word fic because I’m not confident enough in my art skills to draw it at the moment. Here we go!

Oh, there’s also implied fatal in this (it’s of unnamed characters, plus this is M4dc0m, but I’ve gotta say it. I guess you could take it as reformation if you really wanted to.). Mentions of blood I guess?

As always, Vore under the cut :)

“Ey 2b? You there?” Deimos’s voice crackled to life through the plastic earpiece currently jammed into his left ear, yanking the hacker and unofficial ‘team medic’ as he was called once (much to his own confusion. Sure, he knew basic medical but by no means was he any sort of doctor) back into reality. A brief moment passed in the silence of his room, more often called ‘the lab’, of their base before everything came crashing back at once. Deimos, Sanford, and Hank were out raiding a A.A.H.W warehouse at his instruction. Meaning he was alone in their base, also known as a breaking down appartement they had taken shelter in. It had electricity and provided shelter from the harsh hell scape that had once been the state of Nevada. A dark red sunless sky overhead, vegetation and any ecosystems completely wiped out from what they’d seen, bandits and zeds equally ready to eat the nearest person if it meant living another day, the Agency hunting you down if they thought you’d possibly be working against them or with the infamous Hank J. Wimbleton, and having little to no essential resources for days at a time to top it all off like some twisted cherry on this sick cake. Home sweet fucking home.

“Doc? Helllloooo?” Shit, right. Deimos.

“Sorry, I’m here. What is it Deimos?”

“And the medic lives!” The small cheer was accompanied by laughter from the smallest member of the team. Jebus, how was he able to joke in even the most dire situations?

“Just get to the point, chucklehead.” 2b could hear Sanford add in over the static, the man’s laughter just barely making it to tired ears.

“Right right, sorry man. Anyway, if we wanted to get food on the way back would you say no?” Pardon? There was no way he was hearing that right. There were several reasons why he couldn’t be hearing that right. A. food wasn’t by any means the easiest thing to come by in this hellhole, B. restaurants weren’t really a common thing anymore so those were out of the picture, and C. there’s no way they could p- actually, scratch that last one. Robbing a corpse wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that those three had done. Not by a long shot. Still though, how was he supposed to respond to that request?

“…what?” Apparently by asking the first word on his mind.

“We saw that one hotdog vendor on the way here and we’re all starving. Can we or can we not get hotdogs on the way back?” Oh. That’s what Deimos ment. How on earth had that hotdog vendor not been killed yet?

“Is this a genuine ‘we’ or is it a ‘me’, Deimos?” That seemed like a more fair and answerable question.

“Hey I-!”

“It’s a genuine ‘we’ Doc,” Sanford’s voice chimed in. By the cursing in the background 2b could imagine that he had flipped up Deimos’s mic to temporarily mute him in the realm of their earpieces. “Pretty sure one of our stomachs gave us away to the last group of agents we had to take out. Not gonna point fingers but I’m pretty sure it was Hank- Ack! I’m just saying!”

“Thought we weren’t pointing fingers.” There was the third voice. Rough from years of fighting yet still all too recognizable as Hank. The same Hank J. Wimbleton on the wanted posters that scattered the walls of almost every nearby building, wanted dead by the Auditor and his whole agency. He must’ve smacked Sanford for his comment. Well at least he didn’t do worse, whether on purpose or accident.

“We aren’t. Now Cmon Doc, you never answered my question.” Hearing the other hacker’s voice ask for an answer again 2b sighed. Always eager, wasn’t he? How the man had seemingly endless energy on missions would forever remain a mystery to him, Jebus be damned.

“I don’t really care what you do on the way back so long as you all come back in one piece and with the stuff I sent you there for. Understood?”

“Aye aye, Captain Doc! Over and out!” And there they went. The earpiece went dead, leaving 2b on his own once again once he flicked up his own mic. Back to silence. Sweet sweet silence. It wasn’t often they got that in their shared apartment of a base. Someone was always awake, someone was always saying something. It was never really quiet unless you were lucky enough to be the only one awake. 2BDamned had seen plenty of those rare times, if only because he overworked himself and didn’t sleep. So maybe it was one of his less than desirable qualities, when living in a hellscape being ten steps ahead of the agency trying to kill you is always good. He had to keep that up, on top of keeping the others alive and well.

And then there was his little experiment. That also was taking a toll on how little he slept. Not all that long ago the trio had returned from a mission with the data he had requested and more. Specifically a duffel bag full of seemingly shrunken grunts and two only slightly bigger shrunken MAGs. Pft, how funny it was to say that. A shrunken MAG. Hell, he wouldn’t believe it if you told him with no proof. The idea seemed insane. Oh but it wasn't. Not by a long shot if the cages sitting on one of his tables said anything. Normally he’d call such a thing like keeping people in cages inhumane, not that there were many humane things in this hellhole to begin with. He’d expect keeping them in cages that probably used to be for pets to be a move pulled by the Agency, not himself, however he had to make do with what they could find and had access to. Also known as: not much at all. He wanted to study them after all. Letting them free was just not an option.

Now that probably sounds bad, studying living beings like himself, but one couldn’t blame 2b when you considered his situation (at least he hopes one couldn’t). Somehow the Agency found a way to shrink living beings. That’s power that could be used against him and the others to make everything turn for the worst, something which he wanted to avoid at all costs. However, if one of his teammates or himself were to be shrunken on a mission it would be possibly lifesaving to know how to reverse the effects. Plus, having the power to shrink enemies on their side could certainly prove useful. All that being said, he needed these few alive in order to try and figure out what caused them to be how they were. Hence the repurposed, beat up pet cages. Two of them to be exact. One held the grunts and the other for the two MAG agents. None of them had killed each other yet, so that was nice. A few simple experiments and a dissection of a grunt that had been dead upon arrival to him proved that they still functioned as they would if they were their normal size. Just on a smaller scale. He had sent Hank, Deimos, and Sanford out for supplies today, yes, though if they found any information regarding the shrinking of their little ‘guests’ then they were to bring it to him. With no information on that though, he had to continue his other work. Tired eyes met the screen through red goggles. Moments later his head found itself cushioned in the crook of one of his arms.

“What the hell.” 2b grumbled, a fresh headache slowly starting to pound against the inside of his skull. What the hell was up with him? He should be fine. This was only his second day without proper ‘longer-then-15-minutes’ sleep. He’d gone longer before, he should be able to function. Why was the screen giving him such a headache now of all times? He needed to get stuff done. He needed to finish up this…this……what was he working on again? Hold on, no, he should remember. This shouldn’t be slipping his mind like it is. Maybe if he just thought back a few minutes. It would come back to him, right?

“Ok right before Deimos called, what was I doing?” 2b thought out loud to himself, trying his hardest to recall what had happened prior to the call from his allies. ”I was sitting here…then Deimos called in. Wait, no. Go back. From the top. Since…however long ago I’ve been sitting here, working on…what was I working on before Deimos asked about getting food? I sent them on the raid, didn’t eat, got to work and- no. That’s not it. Why can’t I just-“

Gggnnnnnnrrrr…

Oh well fuck him. That’s why he couldn’t focus. 2b groaned, not bothering to hide the noise as of now. He was alone, no one would hear him or tease him. Unless you would count the shrunken men in the cages, however it wasn’t likely they’d say anything. When you’re the size of a rat, spare the MAGs who were more rabbit sized, to your captor pissing them off seemed like the worst thing one could do. Clearly the hacker wasn’t at all in the mood to deal with teasing, so their mouths remained shut. That left 2b alone to deal with his complaining stomach, a feat which proved easier said than done when one was going off a day and a half without properly sleeping. He couldn’t even remember the last time he ate something. It was all just fuzzing together at this point.

Pushing himself off his desk 2b flopped back into the worn chair he’d been sitting in for God knows how long. Relaxing into the backrest was certainly more comfortable than being hunched over a laptop screen typing away like he had been for the past day or two. A hand fell to rest over his stomach while the other removed his goggles. Those were not helping the blooming headache. A low growl from his stomach drew a small hiss through his teeth, the sound being accompanied by a familiar empty cramping.

“Oh you can shut up.” He grumbled at the organ half heartedly, “It’s not like I can eat anything right now. There’s a reason I sent Hank and the others out.” His stomach growled back, the empty sound ringing in the hacker’s ears. He needed to eat, that was undeniable. The problem was getting something to eat. He had few options, none of which he particularly liked. Option 1. going out to look for something even slightly edible on his own, option 2. wait and hope the others found and brought back food, or option 3. contact the others through his headset and ask them to get him something on the way back. The first option was clearly undesirable on its own and the other two weren’t much better. Sure, asking them to grab something for him would probably be easiest and most logical, however he was almost certain that they didn’t want to hear that out of the blue in the middle of a fight. That and he didn’t want to deal with any teasing that might come along with asking. He wasn’t about to take that chance when he had things to do. He couldn’t remember those things at the moment, sure, but they were still things he had to do! So asking was not an available option at the moment. That left waiting and hoping for the best.

Rrrrrrrnnngggggg….

“I know. I don’t like the idea either.” 2b sighed as he spun around in his chair, gently patting his stomach. He needed to get out of his chair, even if it was just a walk around his room. He needed something after a day and a half straight of sitting there hunched over staring at a screen. Maybe it’d help with the headache if he was lucky. Probably wouldn’t but hey a man could dream. With a small grunt of effort the hacker found himself on his feet, his balance wobbling and legs feeling like brittle pasta beneath him. Ah, that's what I wanted to do earlier. Go figure taking breaks gets ignored by my brain. “However, I do believe it’ll end with the best result. I’m sure they’ll be home soon anyway.”

They wouldn’t. That was a lie, to himself and to his stomach alike. He likely had a few more hours alone, maybe two at least. The A.A.H.W warehouse he’d sent them to was big and if you account for fighting delays and them stopping on the way back then the chance of them being back in the next two hours would be some sort of miracle. By the way his stomach reacted every time he brushed over the thought that the trio was getting food on the way back then he wasn’t going to be looking so hot by the time they arrived back. Oh he was going to get the short end of the stick no matter what he did, wasn’t he? Talk about luck. 2b sighed, running a hand up and through his hair as he walked along one of the walls of his small room. His stomach clearly wasn’t shutting up any time soon so the next best course of action would be to ignore it. Maybe that would help him wait it out. What could he focus on? There was work, he could clean up a little bit maybe, or he could focus on the rattling coming from the cages and-

Hold on.

That most certainly wasn’t right. 2b cocked an eyebrow, crossing the room to where the three cages were placed. Quite the interesting scene was playing out before him. From what he could see a few of the shrunken grunts were teaming up to try and break out of the cages. This wasn’t their first little escape attempt, no, but it interested him enough as he stood there watching and attempting to grab his tablet at the same time. Eventually he had succeeded, opening up a new document to scribble down a few notes.

Title: Log 073SB

Time: 6:34 pm, xx/xx/xx

Author: 2BDamned

Note: Grunts working together to attempt escape. MAG agent seems to be attempting to cause a distraction by rattling the wall of the cage. Or perhaps they just want out. Very annoying either way. None seem bothered by my presence.

Satisfied with his little note, 2b closed the tablet and set it down on the counter next to one of the cages. Whether it was him being too rough with setting the tablet down or the low grumble from his stomach that startled the cage of grunts was up for debate, but currently he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Right now he needed to have a chat with the little troublemakers. Without hesitation the unofficial medic reached forward, opening the little hinged door located on top of the cage with ease compared to what the grunts inside were attempting before. He didn’t think twice before he reached in and grabbed the two topmost grunts from the pile of attempted escapees before retracting his hand, repeating the process with his other hand, and finally closing the cage. Hands now full, each holding two fighting bodies, the hacker sighed.

“Escape huh? How many times have you already tried that and it didn’t work?” 2b asked, a less than impressed tone lacing his voice. Sure, he needed a distraction from his stomach but he didn’t want to have to deal with escape attempts left and right for the next however long. “What made you think it’d go any different this time?”

There was a moment of silence before a soft voice spoke up, one that clearly hadn’t been used recently. One of the grunts in his left hand. “W-we figured i-if we actually tried and w-worked together then maybe we’d b-be able to manage a successful…e-escape…”

“Really now? Interesting.” 2b mumbled, looking over the grunt in his hand. They were all so small. You’d think he’d have gotten used to their size by now but every time he held one it seemed to slap him in the face. Offing them if they got too rowdy wouldn’t be hard at all. Wouldn’t need to use anything to begin with. How crazy it was. “Though I’m not sure I can let this slide as I have with previous instances.”

“W-what?” His response seemed to temporarily stun the four in his hands, most likely because of how it was different from his previous comments on their attempted escapes. A shiver passed over them like a wave while the hacker only nodded.

“Your previous attempts at escape. While I can understand why one would try I’ve made it quite clear that successful escapes won’t be happening nor tolerated, correct? I need to prove my point here because you all clearly don’t understand words.” He shifted on his feet slightly, a new question wracking his brain. What could he do to show he wasn’t going to deal with constant escape attempts? It had to be something that stuck, seeing as they clearly didn’t understand his earlier comments about escape not being tolerated. Only a few moments of silence passed before his lips were moving again. “You four are going somewhere else. A stronger holding space. If any of the others try anything they’ll join you. Simple, yet effective.” Or it would be if he knew exactly where he planned to stick these four. What did he have that could serve as a stronger cell for them? The cages were already pretty secure in terms of what he could work with. He just needed something stronger, close to him, hard to escape, and threatening that held a sense of danger with it. But what could that be? His eyes darted around the makeshift lab, trying to find something.

Grrrrroowwwllll…

2b’s eyes slowly scanned down from his shaking captives to his stomach. For a moment he just stared, eyes lacking any readable emotion. Well now that was certainly an option. It fit his criteria. Almost too well. Strong, hard to escape, close to him, and it held a sense of danger. Under his mask his torn and scared lips quirked up into a little smirk. “Mmhm. That’ll do quite nicely, in fact~”

The final moments of peace were shattered as the meaning of his words collided with his captives like a well aimed punch to the gut. Hearts sunk to their feet like rocks in water, despair rearing it’s head in their struggles. Those fortunate enough to remain in the cages simply watched with a muted horror as the four bodies were tossed onto the table and held down with little to no effort. The hacker wasted no time removing the mask and bandages that usually covered his mouth, tossing the fabrics haphazardly beside his discarded tablet. Despite the word fresh being the last thing he’d use to describe the Nevada air, 2b knew he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t nice to just breathe the air in alone and not through the layers of fabric like he often did. With the temporary roadblock now gone his eyes drifted downward to the bodies pinned beneath his hand.

“Well, I believe that eliminates any preventable issues we could encounter here.” He hummed softly, plucking the grunt who was covered by his hand the least up into the air. It certainly was odd to watch the little body squirm and fight against him, all attacks on the two fingers holding it proving futile. Their only hope seemed to be 2b letting them go, something which proved less and less likely the longer they studied the look in the hackers eyes. It wasn’t a look one ever wanted to find themself on the receiving end of. The sight of sharp teeth, glimmering with saliva through grinning lips, certainly did not help to lower the grunt’s heart rate at all. 2b simply clicked his tongue. “Meaning stalling time is up. Stay still, won’t you?”

The grunt did not, in fact, stay still. It was impossible to do so as far as they knew when you had a spit soaked tongue dragging up every inch of your front, sharp daggers of teeth only millimeters from their face. A deafening silence washed over the others, only being broken by a small pleased hum from their normal sized captor.

“Not bad…” the man mumbled, dragging his tongue up the squirming grunt yet again. A small voice in the back of his mind, his voice of reason, yelled out the obvious loud and clear to him plenty of times: this was wrong. It wasn’t right to be doing what he was about to do. This was stooping down to the bandits level, something he never intended to do unless absolutely necessary. He shouldn’t be enjoying the taste of another living being like this. And yet…here he was. Ignoring any logic and reason in his mind to proceed with this. Thank goodness he was alone. 2b didn’t even want to think about what the others might say if they were to see him how he was now. Shaking his head softly he shoved away the thought, opening his jaw as far as the joint and scarred tissue that made up his cheeks would allow. He wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or concerned with how easily the small body slipped into his mouth.

Despite their best efforts to squirm free of their new confinement, the slippery surroundings of the unofficial doctor’s maw proved to have horrible traction. Saliva dropped onto the unfortunate grunt’s head from above while they desperately tried to crawl out of the dark cavern. Feet scrambled on the soaked surface of their predator’s tongue as the muscle moved and flipped them around as if they were some piece of candy, all while their hands desperately tried to keep as little of them between the axe like teeth. One bite and they were done for, a terrifying thought. Through it all only three sounds were ever heard from those lucky enough to not be in the current grunt’s position. The sickening sounds of soaked struggle, terrified yelps from the grunt stuck within 2b’s jaws, and the occasional hum from the man himself. The torture, as those watching from the cage would describe it, seemed to continue for hours and hours on end.

Glk

Glp~

Until it all stopped with two simple swallows and a collective gasp of horror from those watching. The relaxed posture of the man they all watched failed to help their situation.

“H….huhh…that was..” the uncertified medic breathed, breaking the silence. His free hand lazily felt down his throat, tracing where he could feel the squirming body slip further down by the second. It didn’t take a genius to decipher that the less angry sounding gurgle from the man’s stomach signaled the end of the unfortunate grunt’s descent. With eyes widened just beyond his natural look 2b gently pressed his stomach. How interesting it was, as morbid as it might sound, to feel something squirming around inside the organ. Before he could even stop to consider a better way to word his thoughts, he finished his sentence. Just not in the way the grunts wanted to hear. “…incredibly easy.”

The last thing any of the remaining grunts wanted to see was those eyes scan up slowly before locking on them as if they were some sort of dessert. The clearly out of place smile on the man’s face didn’t help the feeling of impending doom either. If anything it only made it worse as a rough hand plucked another grunt from the selected three that had remained under his hand. Down, beneath his newfound curiosity and odd urge to continue what he was doing, 2b knew he should have been more concerned about how easy this was coming to him. No sane person would take so calmly to swallowing living beings, especially not of his own kind. Yet here he was, smirking as he licked over his scarred lips with cold eyes locked onto the small shaking body like a cat would after spotting a mouse. Looking at their sizes in comparison to one another? The simile was scarily accurate. Through his whole little mental debate the hacker found it all too easy to slip the small body into his mouth, licking it over to draw out as much of that strangely addicting taste before slowly beginning to nudge it back. Just bit by bit until it was far enough.

Glrk

Grk~

“Two down…haahhh…two to go…” the hacker sighed as he traced the lump down his throat. There was a waiting period once more but it didn’t last long before the shiver inducing gurgle signified where the poor soul had ended up. How the man hadn’t gotten sick yet was beyond the understanding of those who witnessed the event and even the man himself. Surely he should feel at least a little nauseous with two rat sized bodies squirming within his stomach. Nausea and fullness were the two sensations he had expected by now and yet neither had shown their face yet. Deep within his mind, from an area he didn’t even know existed until it spoke, a voice urged him to test his limits. 2b had shaken that idea off nearly immediately. As….enticing as that idea was, he still needed a few of the shrunken grunts alive and well to continue his attempts to recreate and reverse however the Agency had shrunken them before. Four however….well that wasn’t the biggest loss in the world if something happened to go wrong. Leaning a little more heavily over the table he grabbed one of the last two grunts, shoving the struggling body into his mouth head first. Quite the sight it was to watch flailing legs be slurped into someone’s mouth like nothing more than wet noodles. Interesting and horrifying.

Glp

Glrk~

Though compared to seeing someone who had been beside you ten minutes ago disappear down your captor’s throat as nothing more than a barely visible lump would top it in the scarring scale. Nothing could compare to that sight. Good god was it terrifying. The reality that escape was impossible was all but cemented into the remaining grunts' brains now, as that had been what had gotten their companions into this situation in the first place. This was happening because their capturer wanted to prove his point that attempted escape would not be tolerated. At this point they were convinced they’d have to have a death wish to attempt escape now. Especially when their conditions weren’t horrible compared to what they could be in, something which hadn’t crossed their minds till now. Now don’t take their words wrong, by no means did they want to stay here. Especially not now. However, if it meant living another day and not ending up as lunch? Staying definitely was the preferable option.

“One to go. Damn.” The hacker's voice snapped all attention back to him. His position had changed, now leaning back on the table as he looked over the struggling form in his hands. The words seemed to flow from his mouth without too much thought needed behind them. They just felt…right. It was a feeling he never expected to experience in such a context that he was now, much less to have it almost piloting him as it felt now, but he was nearly willing to say he welcomed it. He wasn't well acquainted with the idea of eating living beings after all, so the subconscious help to ease the process along wasn’t something he’d push away. Not unless it were to cause an issue that is. However, nothing of the sort had happened yet, meaning he was going to keep letting his actions flow naturally.

Just as he had with the three before this one, 2b wasted little time starting towards his goal. Raising the grunt just above his head the man dangled the flailing body over his open mouth, a sight that he could assume would terrify anyone in the grunt’s position. All went smoothly as he lowered the small body in. That is until the grunt, having seen an opportunity and taken it, grabbed and yanked down his mic. While he tried to react as quickly as possible, he could only pray the microphone had not managed to pick up the gag he’d made after panic and shock had caused him to jolt forward and send the grunt to the back of his throat. He flipped up the mic as fast as he could, trying to determine the best course of action one could take with a squirming body halfway down their throat and a possibility of having just been ratted out to the others by their lunch. He was screwed were they to find out, what with how at least two of the three always seemed to be looking for teasing ammunition. That and this….well this wasn’t exactly normal, you know.

“Doc? Is everything ok over there?” Fuck. That wasn’t good. Ignoring the sinking feeling of dread in his chest the best he could, 2b took a deep breath and forced the fourth grunt down with a swallow that took a little more effort then he felt it should’ve. Flipping down the mic, he answered.

“Damnit- yes. I'm fine, Sanford. Don’t worry.” The sentence had to be his least convincing lie yet. Between his heavy breathing and dryness in his throat he could tell his voice wasn’t helping him in any way. Now he didn’t take his teammates for idiots, despite how it sure seemed like they were sometimes, but in the moment he found himself wishing they were.

“You sure? You don’t sound all that fine. Did something happen back at base?” The worry beginning to lace the man’s voice through the static filled earpiece only served to worsen the feeling of dread in 2b’s chest. He needed to get Sanford, and the others who were no doubt listening, off the idea something had happened. He needed to deal with the whole I-just-swallowed-four-people-alive thing before they came back, so them returning early was not in the plan.

“No, nothing happened.” He shot back, only realizing the speed in his voice wasn’t too reassuring after he said it. Ok, what was a believable excuse for why he sounded like he did? “I just…spilt coffee on my legs after burning my mouth. Must’ve knocked the mic down in the process.” With a hand to his chest the hacker forced a soft swallow, trying to at least get rid of the uncomfortable dryness that had settled in the back of his throat. Please say they believed that.

“Pft, really? Damn, wish I could’ve seen that. Think you looked like one of those old cartoons, Doc?” Phew, crisis averted.

“Real funny, Deimos. Get back to your mission.” 2b shook his head at the comment. At least they seemed to believe him. It was worth it, even if the mental image of those over exaggerated cartoon characters was now going to show up whenever he even slightly burnt his mouth on coffee. Oh well, some sacrifices must be made.

“Alright alright. We’re going.” The man on the other end laughed. Those idiots. Damn his heart caring for them, now he was attached. “See you when we get back. Over and out, Doc!” And there they went.

Fighting off his own soft laughter, 2b flipped up his mic. A soft sigh escaped him before he could even think to stop it. That could’ve been horrible. While one hand softly rubbed at his neck, sore from what he had to guess was the miniature disaster that just took place, the other gently laid itself over his stomach. The four inside never seemed to stop moving, constantly squirming and slipping about. There were a handful of reasons he could assume was the cause, though the most likely was that being shoved into a soaking wet moving sack with three of your colleagues provided little traction or ability to get comfortable. That and panic. Panic was probably a rather big factor in how they were feeling. 2b, on the other hand, had to be feeling the exact opposite of how they were. The warm weight of his four ‘victims’ was a welcome sensation within the previously empty pit of his stomach. As twisted as he knew it sounded, he would’ve been confident saying that what he was feeling was honestly satisfactory. Why having living beings stretch and actually round out his stomach in a barely noticeable way was causing this feeling was a mystery to him, but at the moment he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not when it felt this nice.

“I hope I’ve made my point clear.” The unofficial medic hummed, looking over to the grunt filled cage. They had backed away from him by now, huddled in the back most corner of their confines. The sight drew a genuine laugh from the man they all seemed to fear ten times more than before. Well that was proof if he’d ever seen it. Looks like their escape wasn’t something he had to worry about any more. So maybe he sacrificed a little of his ‘I’m not going to hurt you’ act for this. It was worth it in his eyes. And besides, he was probably the most gentle with them out of his whole little gang. If they wanted to be left with one of the others then go ahead. Although being left with the mercenary who you were created to kill didn’t sound like the most fun time to him. Smirking, he collected his goggles, mask, and tablet from the table. “It seems I have. Glad we could have this little -hic!- chat. Heh.”

He gave the cage a pat, the rattling of the metal only serving to scare the grunts further back in the ball of bodies they’d curled into, before turning to walk back to his desk. He needed to sit down. Standing apparently became a lot harder when you had four people fighting against your insides. Thinking back, he didn’t know what he would have expected. Did he stumble a little bit trying to get back to his desk? Yes, he did. It was like he forgot how to walk in all honesty. Another reason he was glad he was alone in their base. Like most things though it proved worth it when he finally collapsed into the worn chair he used for work. Without thinking twice he opened his tablet and started a new log.

—————————

“Doc! We’re back!” The call rang out through the appartement, followed by three sets of footsteps marching their way in and the door slamming shut perhaps a little stronger than needed. As the hinges of the door stopped rattling the three expected to hear a displeased groan, followed by the ruffled form of 2b appearing in the hallway to scold them for being so aggressive or something like tracking blood into the base. Honestly, why he still bothered was a mystery to them, at least Sanford and Deimos for they had zero clue what went on in Hank’s head, for the most part. They were mercenaries, fighters, people looking to not end up with their brains splattered on the wall or something worse. They were going to be bloody upon returning, even if that blood wasn’t their own. It wasn’t like their floors were carpet or anything either. In the end though they never bothered to fight the scoldings. No use making the unofficial medic mad, especially if they needed help. The lack of disgruntled medic in the hallway or at least yelling when silence returned to the room was worrying. After a minute or two with nothing spoken and no ruffled hacker to be seen, Deimos tried again to call him.

“2b?” He called out, peering down the hallway which led to their rooms. There wasn’t any blood on the walls, a good sign to start, and no bullet holes that weren’t there before. Unless the Agency suddenly learned how to do stealth missions, something he and he knew the other two were hoping wasn’t the case, he had hopes. Again, no response from the man. Gun still in his hand he took one glance back to the others, a silent ‘follow me’, before continuing down the hallway. Although Deimos had made it to the closed door first he’d been pushed past by the red goggle wearing giant as he reached for the doorknob. Hank had been the one to open the door to 2b’s room. He’d also been the first of the trio to feel the tension in his shoulders drop. It wasn’t long after he had relaxed that he was shoved into the room by two bodies trying to get in and see any damage that could’ve been done while they were gone. The sight of 2BDamned softly snoring away in his chair, nothing in the room seeming out of place, was most certainly a welcome one.

“Ah. So that’s why he isn’t barking us up a tree for your entrance, Dei.” Sanford hummed with a laugh, careful to watch his volume. If there was one thing he didn’t want to deal with after their mission it was a cranky Doc who got woken up by them. It wasn’t a secret he didn’t necessarily sleep after all and there was no way he could survive off coffee like he seemed to silently claim he could sometimes. They all had times when their sleep schedules were fucked.

“Oh shut up, ‘Ford.” Deimos shot back with a playful punch to the man’s bicep. “It’s not like I’m the one who slammed the door. That’s what he would’ve been on our asses about.”

“You slammed it open then yelled loud enough for all of Nevada to hear you. Don’t act like you’re innocent!”

As the two’s words morphed into friendly bickering Hank took it upon himself to deliver the bit of what they got that couldn’t stay in the duffle bag slung over his shoulder at the moment. Buried in the pocket of his jacket was a small object. Something he hadn’t expected to find, but had snagged nonetheless when it had been pointed out by Deimos. For a second as he walked over to the man a rough hand dug around fabric, fingers gripping plastic as he arrived at his destination. Without thinking he tossed the USB onto the hacker’s desk, eyes wandering over small things like the empty coffee mug or discarded goggles. Behind red-tinted goggles they landed on the man’s tablet, the screen now illuminated thanks to what he could assume had been the small drive hitting the desk. Prying wasn’t something he often did when it came to his teammates, respecting their privacy as they often did his, but after a certain word caught his eye he couldn’t help but read the log that had popped up.

Title: Experiment 05SB

Time: 7:42 pm, xx/xx/xx

Author: 2BDamned

Note: I…cannot believe I’m about to write this. This is update one of Experiment 05SB, an experiment started without much if any bit of a proper plan behind it. Phase I, I suppose you could call it, was a success. The shrunken grunts are, in fact, small enough to swallow whole and…alive. MAGs have not yet been confirmed to be the same way, though I’m sure that answer will show itself one day. I am unsure why I am able to keep four of them down without feeling nauseated, but I can. I will update at a later time when more information has presented itself.

The log ended there, eyes falling away from the screen as Hank’s mind worked to process the information it had just been given. According to what had been written before the man had fallen victim to sleep, it was not only possible to swallow the shrunken beings sitting in one of the cages behind him, but the unofficial doctor had done it himself. Four times to be exact. Curiosity grabbed control of his eyes, slowly panning them up to the cage of grunts who looked noticeably more terrified than they usually did. Had they seen the whole thing go down? His mind continued to wander, finding new questions like how on earth the hacker had managed to keep living and no doubt moving beings down like the log said he did. That is unless he’d spit them up before falling asleep. However that seemed highly unlikely-

“Snooping around Doc’s stuff, are we Hank~?” When Deimos had appeared behind him was beyond the mercenary, though the shock of hearing his voice out of the blue was enough to startle him into quickly powering off 2b’s tablet and whipping around to face the two that now stood across with him with far too smug looks on their faces for his liking.

“Woah there, big guy! We didn’t mean any trouble.” Sanford cooed, the fucking Chad cooed, holding his hands up as if he was under some sort of arrest. “Just wanted to know what you were reading over here is all~.”

“Yeah, exactly. I never expected to find you clicking through Doc’s diary.” Deimos added on nearly flawlessly. Sometimes he really hated how well they worked together. Namely when it was against him. “So, was it a love confession~?”

Hank sighed, glaring at the two through his goggles. He sure fucking hoped they could see the look on his face, despite most of it being covered by bandages and his mask. Because he was not amused and he wanted them to know it.

“No, not a love confession, you morons.” He groaned, shaking his head. Telling them straight off what it said would probably be horrible. At the moment he was still having a few difficulties understanding parts of what he read. Lying just seemed like the best choice overall. It wasn’t like he’d be the only one doing so, after all. It sure seemed like 2b did to them over the mic. Speaking of the man, Hank turned around to take a good look at him. At first glance he seemed like he normally did when he passed out in his chair from overworking himself like this. It was only when Hank took an extra second to look and let the information in his brain guide him did he see the slightly out of place softness around the sleeping hacker’s stomach. Unable to help himself Hank felt his ruined remaining lip quirk up into a small smirk under his mask as he turned around to shove the Dumbass Duo out of the room so 2b could sleep.

“Bunch’a nonsense, is all. Now move. I don’t wanna deal with him if you idiots wake him up and we still have shit to put away.”

#soft vore #mawedness combat #hahaha finally!#I’ve been waiting to use that tag #implied fatal #oopsie #it’s no named character so I guess it’s not bad #I mean this is in the M4dc0m universe so don’t expect my works with these fuckers to be as sunshine as some of my N3ws¡3s ones were #2b I do hope you won’t hate me for this if you can see it

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 3 years

Text

Ouran High HCs

For the fifteenth birthday of one of my favorite romantic comedies, and the day that I started watching said romantic comedy with my boyfriend who is relatively new to anime it got me thinking about these characters and how wonderfully diverse their personalities are. The show has 100% chaotic energy and I love it so much. I wanted to look at every major character in the host club (Haruhi, Tamaki, Kyoya, Hikaru, my favorite twin Kaoru, Honey-senpai, and of course Mori-senpai.) using all their personalities and make some head-canons for favorite group of crazies!

Haruhi:

- She/they icon, we stan

- Always preferred to wear more masculine clothes growing up, they were less expensive than the feminine ones. Plus she felt more comfortable in a pair of shorts as opposed to a dress.

- A very active child, she was always running around her neighborhood, going to the park and doing things with her dad.

- Her dad taught her everything that she needed to know about makeup once she became a member of the host club.

- She worked a part time job in order to help her dad pay the bills and to get food money.

- She thought that she was arosexual before joining the host club. Despite the confessions that she got in junior high they either went entirely over her head or she told them that she was too focused on her studies for romance at that time. Of course all that changed when she met our favorite blonde haired himbo goofball.

- She did wind up taking the conversational French with the twins and often times they'll slip into it for practice. Of course, Tamaki always understands when they talk shit about him so they just do it to mess with him.

Tamaki (my favorite):

- Bisexual king, honestly I love that for him out here living his best life.

- He didn't have much of a childhood between constantly needing to be there for his mom and make sure that she was healthy and okay. It's why he made the host club in the first place to live out his childhood that he was robbed of.

- Is actually way smarter academically than most people might think. If you were to look at the class grades he's always right behind Kyoya. He dedicates a lot of his free time to studying. He's not inherently stupid, just naive.

- His mom was the one that got him into cosplay by introducing him to the various kinds of fabrics. It stemmed into a personal interest that he could lose himself in and distract himself from the loneliness.

- He practiced flirting on Kyoya back in middle school for the future host club once he had his heart set on it.

Kyoya:

- In the words of the great immortal J Michael Tatum "Kyoya is probably gay". It was something that didn't even occur to me until I watched him do an Ouran panel and then I was like holy shit the king makes a good point.

- While Tamaki was his gay crisis, he quickly realized that he would spend forever pining after him and eventually shelved his feelings. Tamaki was his best friend and that was more important to him than his feelings.

- Kyoya has always been a really keen observer of people's true intentions. He's excellent at reading people and knowing what they want from him. The only people he has never been able to read perfectly are Tamaki, Kaoru, and Haruhi.

- He originally didn't want to be a doctor but he eventually wanted to prove himself so badly that he told his father that he would surpass his expectations no matter how high they were.

- Doing background checks on people is fascinating to him. It's not just for blackmail purposes but he likes learning people's weaknesses. He's also an excellent chess player.

Hikaru:

- The definitive over protective sibling. Anybody hurts Kaoru they will wish that they were dead. Kaoru is the most important person in his life and he would do anything to protect him.

- His tsundere tendencies come from a place of wanting to protect those he loves not out of anger.

- While he is begrudgingly worse at letting in other people once you fight your way through his walls he's actually a really amazing friend and s/o.

- His love of the fashion industry stems more from the model side of things than anything else. He can't design anything of his own to save his life.

- He never cared about any girls in his life before Haruhi came into his. Even though he didn't know how to deal with his feelings she was the first person who ever really showed that she cared about him.

Kaoru (my preferred Hitachiin sib):

- One big gay disaster that is absolutely crushing on Kyoya (I just learned about this ship today and it has stolen my life juice.) To blush when he's working with Hikaru to please the ladies all he has to do is think of Kyoya in his brother's spot.

- Is the far superior designer that can actually make really beautiful clothes. Most of the costumes that are worn by the club are designed by Kaoru.

- His hair is a lot softer than Hikaru's even though it's the same style, hair product and everything. I think that his would be more poofy and Hikaru's more spikey.

- Kaoru has always felt like he had to work harder to be like his brother that when you spend time with him alone at first it will be almost like you're talking to a replica of Hikaru and not a separate entity. At first it's a little bit awkward but once you get him out of his shell you find what a sweet and amazing person he is.

- Kaoru is an incredible skateboarder. He loves the feeling that he gets from the wind in his hair and designed his own skateboard. A lot of his hobbies outside of the club are athletic related causing him to have a more defined body than his brother since Hikaru is basically a cat.

Honey-senpai: - If this boi could make cakes and pastries for a living without the threat of eating them all he would make the best sweets. He knows when something is just the right amount of sweet and when something is too sweet.

- He learned martial arts to be stronger because he knew that people would try to take advantage of him due to his childlike nature.

- Honey had a fight with his grandmother before she passed away over something completely selfish. That is why he is so attached to Usa-chan.

- Him and Mori were always really close, even as children and understand each other better than anybody.

- His constant animosity between him and his younger brother is because he feels like he is constantly being babied due to his personality.

Mori-senpai:

- Mori has autism. He is also selectively mute. I'm sorry I don't make the rules, the show itself gives them to me.

- Looks like a tough guy but in actuality would give the best hugs. I want a Mori hug. Haruhi probably gets the most Mori hugs because he is immensely protective over her.

- Aro-ace baby but gives the best platonic cuddles to any of the club members that are having parental issues.

- While he prefers spicy over sweet he does have a sweet tooth at random times of the day. Has been sighted at a local Cold Stone five minutes before closing in the dead of winter, while it's snowing outside by Kaoru and Kyoya while they were trying to find a place to get warm while out on a date.

- He actually didn't start his athletic endeavors with kendo, he started with ballet and gymnastics when he was really young.

And that's all my head-canons for the day! Happy anniversary to my favorite ridiculous throw everything against the wall and see what sticks to it romantic comedy. I hope that one day we will either get a season two or at this point it would be better to just do a hard reboot. Hoping that one day we will see our boys animated in high definition, even though I feel like an HD Tamaki would definitely kill me.

#ouran high school host club #ouran headcanons #headcanons #ouran 15th anniversary

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suhglow · 5 years

Text

Fingerprints | Johnny Suh

Pairing // Johnny Suh + Reader

Genre // Smut

Word Count // 2.4K

Song Rec // High by Alina Baraz

Warnings // fuckboy!johnny, sexual content(fingering, a lil orgasm denial, semi-public).

Summary // You got lucky when he called your name.

Just a couple more weeks, and you were done. You impatiently looked at the list of names and then at the time. The printing lab closed at midnight, last call was at 11:40, and it was currently 11:28. You were already exhausted, and you would raise hell if you waited in this stupid room for the last 2 hours just to not print. It was a busy night in the arts and design building with portfolios due soon. Everyone was trying to get their pieces finished and printed. You draw your focus back to your computer, giving your packaging design some last-minute touches. You see someone from the corner of your eye take a seat next to you and a hand places a cold brew in front of your laptop. You brightly grin, "Thank you so much, Ten. You're the greatest friend I could ask for." "No problem, it's just another favor you owe me added to the list." You take a sip, the caffeine so lovingly hitting your body. "Yeah, whatever." "Are you close to being next?" "There's still a couple more names before me," you sigh. "If you would of gotten here when I told you, you could've been sleeping right now." "Sorry! I got a little caught up," you push your lip out in an obnoxious pout. He playfully pushes you, "Knock it off, put those lips away." You giggle knowing Ten was easily won over by you, no matter what. He never stayed annoyed or mad at you for long. "Okay," a loud voice taking everyone's attention. You look up and see the lab monitor, Johnny, standing next to the list. "The last person who can print tonight is going to be…___. Sorry, everyone. You can come back Sunday night." You exhaled in relief, as everyone else groaned and started packing up their stuff. "You lucky bitch," Ten says. You flash him a smile, "The luckiest." "Do you want me to wait for you?" "It's okay, I have a few things to print, it might take a while. Plus, you already brought me coffee, you've done enough." "You're sure?" You nod assuring him it was okay to go ahead. "Okay, let me know when you make it home safe." "Of course," you smile. Ten gives you a pat on your knee before making his way out.

You make your last changes, and upload everything to your flash drive. As you pack up your stuff the person right before you is called into the print room. You look around the now empty computer lab, tapping on the tabletop, anxious to be done and head off to sleep. You scroll your twitter timeline until you hear your name. "Alright, ___?" You look up to see Johnny standing there staring at you. He runs his hand through his fluffy hair, looking so damn fine. "Are you ready to print?" You nod, making your way into the print room. The student before you collects his work, before heading for the door. "Alright, Johnny, I'll catch you later, man!" "See you later, Tae." He gives you a brief smile before leaving, to which you return. Johnny sits at the computer typing in some information as you look around the room. The walls lined with different gigantic printers and other machines you've yet to become familiar with. All the running machines caused the room to be a little warm, but hopefully, you didn't have to be in there long. Johnny turns to you, "Flash drive?" You snap out of your daze, reaching into your hoodie pocket to hand over the small device. He gives you a smirk, "You know, you don't have to stand 10 feet away from me. You can come closer." You nervously laugh, "Sorry, I didn't want to get into your personal space." You take a few steps closer. "It's fine. So which file is it?" "There's a few," you point to the screen, causing you to cross over him, gently rubbing against his side. In the small space, you felt like the room was somehow getting hotter. You were so close you could smell the cologne that laced his body. Being this close, you couldn't help but examine him. The way his lips rested and curved up in the corners, his tan skin that looked incredibly smooth. The way he constantly ran his fingers through his hair and lightly shook it out. All you wanted to do was see for yourself how soft it was. Everything about him seemed exactly that: soft. His eyes still focused on the screen, you try not to make it so obvious you were studying his facial features. Your eyes go down to his jaw and soon enough move even lower. Your eyes finally settled on his thighs and the jeans that hugged them. You unknowingly bite your bottom lip as you imagined what he looked like beneath.

"How big do you want it?" You quickly look up in a panic. "What?" "How big does it need to be? The paper?" "Oh, they all need to be 12X18. Except the last one needs to be on letter cardstock," you nervously say. "Okay, no problem. Just to let you know the printer can be slow, especially with this many things, it may take a while." "That's fine," you pep up! "I should say sorry, you must be tired, having to be here all night." He hits print and swivels in the chair facing you. You can't help but glance down at the outline created in his pants. "It's not so bad. The worst part is how hot it gets sometimes from all the machines," he says. "Yeah, it is warm," you pull your sleeves up. "You can just take your hoodie off. It'll be a while and I don't need you to pass out from heat exhaustion," he jokes. You give a small nervous laugh, "It's fine, really!" He just nods as he stands to quickly add the correct sized paper to the printer before it started. It felt like forever before the first one printed. How long would it actually be for all of it to be finished? “So what year are you?” he asks as he removed his hoodie over this head. “Um, it’s my second year,” you respond, watching as his shirt comes up a bit with his hoodie. Johnny ruffles out his hair again, making you smile to yourself. “Oh cool. And do you always stare this intensely?” He smirked. Your eyes widen, “I’m sorry,” you stutter in embarrassment, quickly looking down. You feel your face heat up, the warm room not helping. “I didn’t mean to, I j-“ “Woah, it’s okay. Who said I didn’t like having your attention,” he smiled, taking a few steps toward you. You look up at him as he gets closer, unable to say anything. The close atmosphere making your heart thump heavily in your chest. “Do you think I’m handsome, ___? Is that why you can’t stop looking at me?” You slowly nod, a little confused by the forward question. Johnny looks pleased with your response before he leans down to gently connect his lips with yours. Your mind was everywhere, your heart unsteady, and your body absolutely stiff. He pulls back, concerned. “I’m sorry. I should of asked to kiss you. Fuck, I didn’t realize you weren’t into this. Sorry,” he stammered, turning away. For some reason, it took forever for your mind to respond to everything.

Finally, you speak up, “No! I’m totally into this! I just wasn’t expecting that, you caught me a little off guard. But, I like it. You can kiss me!” You felt like a little kid or something, twirling your thumbs and chewing on your bottom lip. He starts chuckling causing you to laugh along. “This is a mess,” he says, “Can we try again?” You eagerly nod, eyes wide and excited. He softly smiles and makes his way back to you. Resting his hands on your hips, you hold onto his broad shoulders. He leans down and the kiss is better than before, now that you weren’t frozen. His hands snake to your lower back, pulling you closer as he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue pass your lips. You feel his hand brush underneath your hoodie, creeping up your back a little. Your eyes flutter open as he pulls away from you. You wipe away the spit on your lips, giggling again. “Your lips are soft,” you whisper. “You look like you’re about to faint,” he observes. “I think my body is overstimulated,” you joke. “You should seriously take this off.” “I would…,” you shift a little, “it’s just I was in a rush and just threw this hoodie on.” “I know, I didn’t feel a shirt. That’s more reason to take it off,” he smirks. You play with the edge of the hoodie, finally pulling the hoodie over your head leaving you in your bra. Johnny eyes you, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, “look at you,” he whispers to himself. “Can I touch you, angel?” Eyes still on your body. “Angel?” Johnny looks at you sweetly, “Is it okay if I call you that?” You nod in awe, “You can touch me however you want, Johnny.” “Ooh, that’s a dangerous statement, angel,” Johnny smirks, “You say that I might see how that cute pussy feels wrapped around my fingers.” You looked at him with wide eyes, not knowing how to respond. He sounded so smooth, sweet almost. But, his words were dirty and made you squirm; he had you rubbing your thighs together to quiet down your needy clit. “Would you like that?” Johnny questions placing a kiss on your neck. “Yes,” you say a little above a whisper. “Here, sit up here, angel,” he pats the empty desktop. You settle on top waiting for his attention. “Look at you, so pretty and patient. You want me to make you feel good?” Johnny cups your clothed pussy, digging his palm into your clit. “Please,” you moan. “Fuck, I can’t wait to hear you moaning my name like that.” “You’re so eager, Johnny. Do you always move this fast?” you observe. He blinks at you, giving you a sly smirk, “Life’s too short, angel.” You can’t help but laugh a little at his quick, but cheesy response. “It’s true,” he justifies before kissing your neck, sucking sweetly. His palm still working your clit. His free hand rests on your torso before inching up and slipping in your bra to cup your boob. ”Johnny,” you moan as he kept sucking on your neck. “Just like that, angel,” he says against your hot skin, “does it feel good?” You nod, whining a bit. It felt good but not enough. “I want you to say it, angel. Tell me.” “It feels good, Johnny. But-“ “Yes?” “But, I want you to touch me more.” Johnny gives you a cocky smirk. “I’ll touch you, angel.”

You lean back resting on your hands as Johnny slips his right hand into your pants and underwear. “Did I make you this wet already?” he teases as he rubs your pussy. You moan at his touch, “Yes.” “Tell me, ___.” You weren’t so much into being vocal but it was obvious Johnny liked the talking aspect and being told he was doing a good job. “I’m so wet. Please, I want your fingers in me already.” “How bad?” “So bad, it hurts waiting to be filled up.” “Oh, you want me to fill you up, baby?” “Shit, yes,” you say getting impatient. You push your hips forward trying to add more pressure to the pleasure. “Okay, okay. I promise I’ll make you feel good,” Johnny sweetly smiles. He pushes two digits into you, making you moan. “Oh shit, you’re tight.” He glides his fingers in and out of you picking up a tempo. His fingers worked wonders on your sensitive body. It’d been a while since anyone had touched you like this. Johnny kissed you again, his lips supple and sloppy. “You can take another finger, right angel?” You nod, anticipating the feeling of Johnny stretching you a little more. You were used to using two fingers but you wanted Johnny to push you to your limits. You feel him slowly push three fingers into you, making your eyes squeeze tight. Johnny hollowly thrusts his fingers, nudging them against your g spot. You want to moan and scream in pleasure, but you knew you two weren't the only ones in the building. Doing this alone was risky, anyone could walk in. When you open your eyes you catch Johnny watching you. He looks amused with himself like he enjoys watching you lose yourself under his touch. His palm digs into your sensitive bud as his fingers are plunged deep inside you still wiggling about. You clench around his fingers as you bring your hands up to grasp his shoulders. "Are you close, angel? Are you gonna cum on my fingers?" You let out a moan. Johnny slows down, letting up on the pressure making you whine. "Tell me." You were so close, but his teasing sent the euphoric feeling away. "I was, I was so close, Johnny. Please make me cum," you say giving him a kiss. You two sloppily make out as he starts to give you what you want again. You pull away arching your back, throwing your head backward. "Fuck, Johnny," you moan, hoping it'll encourage him to keep his pace. "You're so good. You make me feel so, so fucking good." "No one else makes you feel like this huh?" "No," you shake your head, "Not like you." "I bet next time you fuck yourself, you'll think about me fucking you, right?" "Mm-hmm. I want you to fuck me. I want your big cock deep in m-" you wince failing to get your last word out as you cum. The build-up was better than earlier, you thought you were seeing white. Johnny waits to slow down his fingers making you whine and squirm on the desk.

You both share wide dreamy smiles as you come down from your high. He removes his hand from your pants, wiping his fingers on the fabric that covered your leg. You look down and notice the bulge in his pants. But, before you can even think of anything Johnny casually says, "don't forget your prints." You give him a confused look. Is that all he has to say? Does he even want to meet again? "Okay," is all you can say. You hop off the desk and grab your hoodie, slipping it over your head. You walk over to grab the freshly printed papers and when you turn around Johnny is smiling down to you. He walks closer, leaning down and moving a piece of hair out of your face, "So, I'm doing a photography workshop for the department next Wednesday. It's free, you should come," he says smugly and kisses you one last time before turning to log out of the computer. He lets you walk out of the room without another word. You grab your bag and coffee before walking into the hall.

What the fuck.

*A/N // ngl this shit made me laugh...anyway let me know what you think:) feedback is always appreciated!

#johnny suh #nct johnny #nct smut #johnny smut #nct #nct scenarios #nct 127 #johnny seo #johnny imagines #johnny #nct imagines #seo youngho #nct au #johnny au #college!au #who knows i already have ideas for a second part

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lavendersoft · 5 years

Text

Until I met you.

-Street fighter!Jimin x Reader

1/?

Synopsis: While on a date for their 2nd anniversary, Jimin loses Yoongi while being attacked in an alleyway by a robber. Yoongi sacrificed himself for his lover and Jimin could never forgive himself for not being able to do the same. The survivor’s guilt ate away at him over the months and it definitely didn’t help that he saw Yoongi’s face everywhere. In mirrors, dreams, large crowds, on trains, and even when he closed his eyes. Although, Jimin found a way to cope. He began a rigorous training schedule. Boxing, self-defense classes, Tae Kwon Do, he even started street fighting and got caught up with bad people. Anything and everything. His hands would bleed, his muscles would ache, his bones would break. Jimin was offered multiple full scholarships to prestigious martial arts schools for his talent, all of which Jimin turned down. He didn’t want to make a career out of this, he just didn’t want to be haunted by his dead fiancé. The only time Yoongi won’t haunt every moment of Jimin’s life was when he’s training, as if Yoongi is saying “I won’t rest, nor will I let you rest, until you’re stronger.” Jimin will never lose anyone that he loves again.

Everything felt like a downward spiral,

until he met you.

Warnings: (There’s a lot- and it’s kinda dark, be warned) PTSD, implied schizophrenia (sorta? take that with a grain of salt), PTSD induced delusions/hallucinations, depression, paranoia, night terrors, character death, major angst, unhealthy coping mechanisms, masochism(?), alcoholism, minor gore, mention of drug abuse, mention of blood, mention of asylums, profanity, Jimin goes through one hell of a mental breakdown.

Author’s notes: super slow burn :/ basically, in which jimin copes with the traumatic incident of his fiancé’s brutal murder by street fighting. this story isn’t yandere but has dark themes.

The air was lifted right out of Jimin’s lungs. Tears were flowing freely, his hands were stained red, he couldn’t even see the golden engagement ring through the thick blood. He couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his own sobs and heartbreak.

“Please... please stay awake. They’re coming, okay? Help’s coming. Just look at me. Look at me, please.”

He’d remembered somewhere that you were supposed to put pressure on wounds this big to stop the bleeding. If only his hands could stop shaking.

Yoongi had stopped responding about two minutes prior to this but Jimin refused to accept his fate. His last words replaying in Jimin’s mind like a mantra.

“Survive. Please, live. I love you.”

Two wallets.

Two fucking wallets with about 150,000 won split between them.

That’s how much his fiancé was murdered for.

Jimin jerks awake in a cold sweat. His bruised fist clamped around his bedsheets, heart rate much higher than it should be. He rises out of the creaking bed to stretch his overly tense muscles.

He can still feel the weight of his deceased boyfriend’s limp body in his arms.

Every day starts like this.

Every morning he’s pulled from the same reoccurring nightmare, then he starts his cold shower.

He can’t even take warm showers anymore, remembering how hot Yoongi insisted on keeping the water temperature when they showered together.

It’s been nine months.

Nine months, two weeks and four days since he lost the love of his life forever.

He hasn’t even taken off the engagement ring. It’s as if it’s glued to his finger now, his hand feels empty without it.

Jimin avoids looking in the mirror at all costs. In fact, he’s gotten rid of most of them in his home. The ones he couldn’t get rid of, he smashed with his bare hands in a fit of rage. The scars on his hands are proof.

How could he look at himself knowing how weak he was?

He scoffs.

Back then... how could I bare to tolerate myself back then? I was so flimsy and weak. Could barely open a fucking jar by myself. Absolutely pathetic.

Jimin’s heart has gotten callous. He is easily provoked and irrational. The takes unnecessary risks and is impulsive.

His therapist said it was “self-sabotage” or something.

Just two weeks ago, Jimin bleached his hair a striking blond, almost white- which burned most of his scalp- just because. And before that, on the nine-month anniversary of his lover’s passing, he went to get a tattoo on a whim. Just because he felt like it. He drinks alcohol for breakfast and has recently taken up smoking. The smell of cigarettes remind him of Yoongi, who also used to smoke.

Jimin liked pain. It was invigorating. He likes feeling things. Feeling has become a rarity, a privilege, a novelty.

Although irritable and easily angered, Jimin is not an unkind person. He gives to charity and volunteers at animal shelters. These things have also made him feel again, because he can feel Yoongi there, the real Yoongi. Yoongi was a huge advocate for human kindness. He used to say it was never justifiable to be a hateful person for no reason at all.

Jimin clings to this principal.

But it’s hard. It’s so hard to act happy when he’s so broken inside. He almost wishes he could just-

“Don’t you dare use me as an excuse to be a miserable person.” Yoongi’s voice rings out from behind him. Jimin screws his eyes shut and covers his ears.

“Go away.”

This person- this being- wasn’t Yoongi, that much he knew. If anything, it was a demon. A poltergeist that feeds off Jimin’s suffering. Yoongi would never do that.

This is why everyone around Jimin thinks he’s the sweetest, loveliest, most endearing man they’ve ever met. If only they knew about the unyielding hellfire that burns his very core.

“Good morning, Mrs. Jeon!” Jimin’s sweet voice cuts through the morning air.

He was on his way to his best friend Jungkook’s house to meet before Tae Kwon Do training. The Jeon family owns a martial arts studio and they’ve been training together for months now.

“Oh, good morning Jimin! How are you today?” The nice woman is always so cheerful, Jimin respects that.

“I’m wonderful, thank you. Have you heard from Jungkook? He’s supposed to meet me here.” Jimin hurry’s to catch up with the woman in front of him and takes her groceries off of her arms to carry.

“Yes, actually. He was running a tad late this morning since his class ended late. He should be here soon. Would you mind bringing those up for me?” She gestured to the apartment right above the studio, where the family lives.

“Not at all.”

When Jungkook finally arrives, he brings with him thirty-two excuses as to why he was late.

“I lost my phone.”

“My car ran out of gas.”

“My girlfriend broke up with me.”

Jimin chuckles as he suits up his training gear.

“Dude, if all of those things are true, you really need to get your life together.”

“You’re one to talk.”

Jimin’s heart stops when the cold, low growl sounds from behind him again.

“You’re far from qualified to be giving life advice.”

Jimin hides his frown when the oblivious Jungkook punches him on the shoulder playfully.

“Haha! Shut up, dude! Let’s go.” He chides, padding off to the ring.

Jimin’s falters a bit behind, throwing a quick but cautious glance at the bloody image of Yoongi that glares back at him.

“Pathetic.”

“Seriously, dude! You’re way too talented at this to not make some money off of it.”

Jungkook’s been trying to get Jimin to take the scholarship he was offered by a scout that visited their studio not too long ago.

“I don’t know, man. This was just supposed to be a hobby remember?”

Jimin knew better. This was much more than a hobby. It was his anchor. It was his stress reliever. It was keeping him sane.

“Come on. We both know better than that. I see the way your face changes to stone when you fight. You have something. Something real. You could make it in the business!”

“You sound like a mafia boss.”

Jimin smiles as he eats the last of his ramen.

“Ya. I’m serious. If not a professional fighter then at least a coach. I mean, I’m doing it because I wanna be a cop but,” Jungkook sips from his energy drink. “Do you really just want to be a dancer?”

Jimin sighs. Yes. That was his dream before everything happened. He still clings to the idea. Before nine months ago, the idea had seemed just within reach. He’d applied for so many dance and art schools, even getting into a couple.

But after everything, he’d given up. He stopped dancing. He hates music. Even if he tried, his skills wouldn’t be anywhere near the place they were.

He’d totally abandoned his dream.

“Yes. I do.” He lies.

Jungkook shrugs, “Well, if anything, it’s made you a better fighter. Your moves are so fluid, it’s amazing.”

“Careful, you’re getting a crush.” Jimin jabs at him with a chopstick.

“Ugh. Please,” the younger rolls his eyes, “like I could ever. Plus, my girlfriend probably wouldn’t like that very much.”

“Oh? I thought you two ‘broke up’, no?”

“Nah. I love her too much.” Jimin finds it cute that Jungkook actually loves his girlfriend. Before, he was a player, only using girls for sex or free food.

“Don’t use girls like toys, Jungkook.” Yoongi would always keep Jungkook in place when he broke another heart.

“Well, this ones on you. Since you lost. Again.” Jimin’s giggle makes Jungkook pout.

“One of these days, I’m gonna beat you, Park Jimin.” Jungkook pouts.

“One of these days.” Jimin reiterates.

Jimin says goodbye to his friend and pushes through the restaurant door. He misses the worried look Jungkook gives him when he turns his back.

The raindrops hit the top of the hood of Jimin’s jacket as he walks down the busy street. He hates being too alone these days. Jungkook really helps keep Jimin grounded, he’s one of the only people that don’t totally annoy him now. He reminds Jimin of all the times Yoongi, Jungkook, Tae, Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, and himself would hang out as teens and young adults. Just fooling around without any worry. No cares or responsibilities, young love, parties. That was their lives.

Until nine months ago.

The grief of losing one of the group was detrimental. It seemed like no one was recovering properly, except maybe Jungkook. That’s why Jimin cohered himself to Jungkook, he seemed to be the most stable out of them all.

Namjoon and Tae both landed themselves in jail on multiple occasions for a plethora of reasons.

Hoseok checked himself into a mental asylum for a while. Last Jimin heard, he was abusing drugs of some sort.

And Jin moved across the country, said he wanted to start fresh. But really, he was just doing what Jin did best- running away.

None of them kept contact, except for Jungkook.

The entire carefree, wild group of friends had dissipated into nothing.

He feels his eyebrows furrow into a stern look.

They all left.

“They all left you.” His jaw clenches at the familiar, yet slightly inhuman voice. “They never cared about you. And Jungkook will leave you one day, too. No one is forever.”

Jimin’s turns down an alleyway and stops about halfway through, tears gathered in his eyes.

“No one is forever, but at least they keep moving forward. You’re just stuck.”

Yeah, Jimin truly hates being alone.

The not-so-subtle red neon sign flickers with the bright name of the “club.”

The large metal door makes a shallow sound when Jimin’s taps on it three times. A man wearing all black with sunglasses answers, “Passwo- oh, Jimin-ah. Come on in.”

Jimin nods once to the tall bodyguard as he passes him. The man towers over Jimin in height but the energy around the two doesn’t match. The man takes a small, nervous step back when Jimin starts forward.

Jimin hates how skittish everyone is in this little hole in the wall.

The biggest underground fighting ring in Korea was right next door to Jimin’s apartment, who would have thought. How convenient.

Heads bow as he passes. No one makes eye contact. Some mumble respectful greetings while putting honorifics next to his name, no matter what age or status they have.

He’s basically a king here.

But he doesn’t want the throne.

Jimin’s peers into the crowd and sure enough, sights his dead lover. He just wants this damn demon to leave him alone.

Yoongi never bothers him while he’s fighting or training. It’s like he goes dormant or something. That’s why Jimin keeps doing it. Well, that and because he wants to be strong. Stronger than he’s ever been.

And he is. He’s undefeated in this hellhole. He sort of blanks out when he fights anyone that’s not Jungkook. That’s how he earned the appropriate nickname “Demon”, for good reason. He’s heard from others that’s he’s terrifying when he’s in the ring. Although no one but his manager and couple other higher-ups dare to call him that, and he barely even tolerates that.

The last newcomer that called him that learned through a crushed windpipe to not.

He only does this to pay the bills. Everyone here knows that. It pisses some people off. For some, this was their entire life, what they were raised to do. Born to be fighting machines.

So, naturally, some don’t like Jimin. Especially those who he’s fought and won against. But Jimin couldn’t care less about what these people think about him.

“Manager-nim,” Jimin addresses an older man, somewhere in his forties, “I need you to schedule another Gold for me.”

See, the underground business is one built on ranking.

In the underground street fighting business, fights were categorized by prize earning and rank of the fighters. Gold rank fights could only be scheduled by- and usually for- the highest members, the Elites. The grand prize for a win was seven hundred million won. Only the greatest of the greatest won the prize and thus, earning an elite status (if not an elite already).

Jimin’s won it twice.

“Ya, getting pretty greedy now, are we? You just won it a couple months ago, Kid. Where’d that money go?”

“It’s gone.”

The suited man scoffs, “You need a better budgeting plan, Demon.” Jimin fights the urge to uppercut him.

“Can you do it or not?” Jimin’s patience is already wearing thin and he’s been here for a whole five minutes.

“You know, contrary to what you might believe, I’m not a money machine. The money you win when you fight comes from somewhere. Not only that, I’m not the only Elite that gets to decide. We take a vote.”

“Well vote.”

“Aish.” He growls, “You’re something else. People here are gonna start to think I favor you, and that’s dangerous for the both of us.” He pauses to look Jimin in the eyes, “You know, you have all of the qualifications to make the Elite status. Why don't you do the initiation-”

“Let me know when you have an answer.” Jimin’s made his feelings on the subject clear already. He has no intention of making this a permanent thing. This isn't a lifestyle, this isn't his job. It’s just a way to relieve his stress and make some cash.

With that, Jimin takes his leave, disappearing into the same direction from which he came. He’s truly a mysterious phenomenon.

Jungkook: hey do u wanna meet me and Jiyoo tonight for dinner?

Jimin peers down at his phone in confusion.

Jimin: uh third-wheeling really isn’t my thing lol

Jungkook: no, no we have someone we want you to meet. she’s Jiyoo’s sister and she’s just come home from college.

Jimin groans. This isn’t the first time Jungkook’s tried to set him up since Yoongi passed. He appreciates the sentiment but Jimin doesn’t think he’ll ever love someone like that again. It’s too much to ask for.

Jimin: idk man i’m pretty tired from training today. i think i’m gonna pass.

Jungkook: pretty please?

Ugh.

Jimin shoves a pillow over his face in frustration. He’s never been able to tell the kid no. And besides that- Jimin can feel the beady eyes of the shadowy figure in the corner. No, he doesn’t really want to stay here.

Jimin: fine.

—

The restaurant is filled with all sorts of people. From children to the elderly. Jimin gazes from person to person trying to decipher what kind of person they are. He tries to hinder the negative thoughts from entering his mind about them.

Jungkook’s always late. Always. When Jungkook says “5:30” he really means “6:00.” You’d think after almost a decade of knowing the kid, Jimin would learn.

He fidgets with the sleeves of his sweater. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? Was it because these blind dates never end well? He thinks back to the last blind date Jungkook had set him up with.

Jimin shudders.

He can still hear the innocent girl’s cries as she fled his apartment, heartbroken.

He’s pulled from his thoughts as an arm slings around his shoulder, “Hey, man.”

Jungkook’s bright smile beams at him.

“Hey. Hi, Jiyoo.” He greets the couple as they take their seats.

“Hey, Jiminie.” Jungkook’s girlfriend was super cute, he’ll give her that.

“So..?” He’s confused time see that they came alone.

“Oh, she’s coming. My little sister is always a little late.”

Later than you both?

Jimin stops himself from the bitterness that threatens to erupt again. Not tonight. He’s going to try to be on his best behavior for his friend’s sake.

He’ll save all those pent up emotions for the fight he has scheduled tomorrow.

He vaguely registers the figure that makes its way into his peripheral vision, although he pays it no mind at first.

“Oh, Y/n! It’s good to see you again.” Jungkook seems a bit overly excited. What’s all the fuss about? It’s not like-

Oh.

Okay, so she’s, like, really pretty. So what?

“Hi, Jungkook. Nice to see you. Jiyoo!” The girl walks over to embrace her sister tightly, “Oh my God, it feels like it’s been forever.”

After they take their greetings, the woman sits down across from Jimin.

“Hello, you must be Jimin. Jungkook’s told me so much about you. I’m Y/n.”

Okay, so she has the voice of an angel, big deal.

“Um, hi- yeah, I’m Jimin.” He reaches out to take the hand she offers.

“So, Y/n’s a dancer,” Jungkook starts when the food is placed in front of them, “and she’s really good.”

“Not that good.” She blushes.

“Don’t be modest, Y/n. She’s going to a really prestigious dance school on a full scholarship!” Her sister beams.

“Oh? Which one?” Jimin presses. It’s not like he’s interested or anything. Definitely not.

“Global. Global Dance Studio.” She answers.

“Ah. I heard they were good.” Jimin knows more than he let on. That was literally his dream school.

“Yeah, but strict. The training is brutal.” She emphasizes. He knows, he had to go through the same treatment. He hates that he feels a pang of jealousy and resentment towards this person he’s just met.

“I’ve heard.” He finishes as he takes the first bite of his food.

The rest of the hour-long dinner was pretty boring, with Jiyoo and Jungkook mostly taking ahold of the conversation. Although, Jimin will admit that he couldn’t stop glancing back at the beautiful girl across from him.

And he won’t pretend that he didn’t notice her treating him the same.

He was charming and kind, as usual, but he remained on the quiet side of the conversation. Jimin knew that Jungkook could tell he wasn’t being quite as flirty as he usually is with setups like this, from the way that the younger kept trying to tie Jimin in the chit chat.

Jimin stays subtle for the rest of the date.

When the group says their goodbyes, his eyes linger on hers for longer than the rest.

“It was nice to meet you, Y/n.”

“Likewise.” She grins and Jimin feels his heart stop.

And then he leaves. Really, really fast.

That’s not good.

—

#Until I Met You #bts fanfiction #bts #park jimin #min yoongi #yoonmin #jeon jungkook #park jimin fanfic #park jimin fanfiction #jimin x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfic #jimin #yoongi #jungkook #street fighter! jimin

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kouzaires · 4 years

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For the ask game, answer all the questions you want to answer! I'm curious about the answers to all of them, but I'm not gonna ask them all, so you can just decide which ones you want to answer :)

AJDHDJDHKS THANK U FOR THIS FREEDOM. feel free to ask other questions or follow ups bc i super love talking abt my fics huhu <3

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

OKAY i know most of u follow me for botw but my absolute favorite fic is the one i wrote for the end of haikyuu’s manga run, “there’s a mountaintop (that i’m dreaming of)”!!!! haikyuu will always have such a huge piece of my heart and i was so happy that i got into fic writing bc it let me express my love for the series in a creative way <3 i wrote it in like three days at an intense speed (for me), and i love that it’s able to resonate with other fans too!

F: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

most of my fics rn are titled based on cool songs that get stuck in my head!!!!! so id really love it if ppl listen to the specific songs i mention in the author’s notes because i usu play them on repeat while writing for certain vibes

H: How would you describe your writing style?

always, always evolving. all my old works are simultaneously stuff i could never replicate and yet absolutely brimming with stupid mistakes, so rereading old work is kind of odd for me.

J: What’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

i mean i’m pretty into coffee shop aus (and to an extent, university aus) and yall know how that turned out HAHAHAHA!! but in general i have a Lot of fave tropes, not all of which i’ll probably end up writing about.

L: Which of your fanfics was the most emotionally challenging to write?

definitely “how does your garden grow?”, the ongoing mipha fic. it took me months to finish bc the last few chapters have so many intense scenes that i wasn’t always emotionally ready to write. plus, the fic itself was also rly long and i did struggle with tying together everyone’s motivations and storylines in a coherent way. but i’m glad i finished it before my summer ended!!!

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

i have a couple, but they’re all for the haikyuu fandom and i dunno if u guys can relate lol. i’m taking a break from botw fics for now!!

O: What are your thoughts on people writing fanfic of your fanfic? / S: How do you feel about fan art inspired by your writing?

I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER. FOR REAL. I ABSOLUTELY SUPPORT ANY OF THIS AS LONG AS YOU INFORM ME ABOUT IT SO I CAN SHOWER YOU WITH LOVE!!!!!

Q: Do you like getting prompts from your readers?

i dont mind it i guess? but only if they understand that i might not necessarily use them, or i could use them but for a different fandom or story. my writing is really heavily dependent on my personal interest to write a particular story, so i find it difficult to write solely bc another person told me to.

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you?

all of them. but very specifically, the comments that talk about emotions or how the reader actually felt are my absolute favorites bc the idea that i was able to touch another person’s heart is just akdhdkhdlsjsl

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

well, i haven’t written so much that you could call it a trend exactly, but as of now it does seem like the stuff i was most passionate about also became the most popular. although i dunno how it’ll go with the mipha fic, because so far it’s not getting a lot of hits even if i poured so much time and effort into it y’know? then again, it really picks up in the latter chapters so eh

Z: Is there a story you’ve written that doesn’t seem to get much love?

as i mentioned, the mipha fic isn’t doing so well right now, though i’m hoping it’s just bc it’s unfinished at the moment!! aside from that, i also have to say the haikyuu goodbye fic? bc while it is my most popular story (given the large fandom size), i also think it’s not getting as much exposure as it could simply bc it’s a gen work and not shippy. plus, my tumblr post about it got almost zero notes so uh sad

bless u for asking me!! to everyone: pls feel free to join my ask memes huhu i love doing these things

#ask #ask meme #coffeeverse au #kinda

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ladyeowyn · 6 years

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I have recently reached my next follower goal and honestly, I have no words..! There are so many of you ahhh!! Thank you very much!! I’m incredibly grateful for everyone who gave me a follow over those years and to those who support my edits. ❤️ Here is a small celebration as a thank you! 😊 Pick as many of these as you like but, please, be patient with me if it takes a while.

R U L E S :

must be following this gal

reblog this post (likes will not count, sorry)

if you do not want to see these you can blacklist #nickie celebrates

send me an ask about your day or week / something you're looking forward to / fun fact about yourself / recs / literally anything that comes to your mind

AND / OR ...

for personal aesthetic moodboard: 🌸 PLUS describe your aesthetic for me (please, at least five pieces of information) and optionally you can also add link to your personal pinterest board if you have one

for a personalised book recommendation: 📚 PLUS genre or multiple genres, trope, theme or a specific book that you enjoyed so that I know what to base the recs on

for blogrates: (see the format under the cut)

for aesthetic ❤️

for ASOIAF 👑

for Grishaverse ☀️

for Star Wars 🚀

for Marvel ✨

for Jane Austen-esque 🌹

for Tolkien ⚔

a e s t h e t i c ❤️ • element: water - air - fire - earth - æther • season: spring - summer - autumn - winter • flower: lilac - lavender - daffodil - peony - orchid - sunflower - iris - magnolia • scent: citruses - rain - coffee - cinnamon - roses - vanilla - books - mint • landscape: city - forest - rainforest - country - mountains - beach - lake - ocean - desert • celestial object: sun - moon - stars - nebula - planet - comet • supernatural being: dragon - phoenix - mermaid - witch - werewolf - ghost - elf - vampire • following: no(t yet) sorry, but ily ♥ - now! - yes ofc - always and forever

A S O I A F 👑 • allegiance: House (Stark - Lannister - Martell - Tyrell - Baratheon - Targaryen - Greyjoy) - Night’s Watch - The Lord of Light - Free Folk • occupation: knight/knightess - septon/septa - lord/lady - mercenary - entertainer - spy - faceless man/woman - red priest/priestess - healer • home: Winterfell - Lannisport - Highgarden - Sunspear - Highgarden - King’s Landing - Eyrie - Riverrun - Dragonstone - Pyke - Castle Black - Volantis - Braavos - Pentos • weapon of choice: sword - dagger - crossbow - poison - words - knowledge - axe - spear - dragonglass • hero: Nymeria of Ny Sar - Ser Duncan the Tall - Brandon the Builder - Visenya Targaryen - Lann the Clever - Azor Ahai - Durran Godsgrief - Good Queen Alysanne • trusted ally: Arya Stark - Sansa Stark - Jon Snow - Arianne Martell - Ellaria Sand - Jorah Mormont - Missandei - Gendry Waters - Meera Reed - Davos Seaworth - Melisandre - Jamie Lannister - Asha Greyjoy - Loras Tyrell - Brienne of Tarth • following: no(t yet) sorry, but ily ♥ - now! - yes ofc - always and forever

G r i s h a v e r s e ☀️ • grisha order: heartrender - healer - tailor - sun summoner - inferni - squaller - tidemaker - durast - alkemi • occupation: Second Army soldier - member of king's guard - member of the Dregs - runaway Drüskelle - privateer - acrobat - spy - thief - demolitions expert - inventor - scholar • home: Ravka - Fjerda - Kerch - Novyi Zem - Shu Han • weapon of choice: knives - explosives - your abilities - guns - sword - axes • friend: Sturmhond - Genya Safin - Inej Ghafa - Wylan Van Eck - Tamar Kir-Bataar - Alina Starkov - Jesper Fahey - Nina Zenik - Leoni Hilli - Zoya Nazyalensky - Matthias Helvar • tale: The Soldier Prince - Ayama and the Thorn Wood - Little Knife - The Too-Clever Fox - When Water Sang Fire - The Witch of Duva • following: no(t yet) sorry, but ily ♥ - now! - yes ofc - always and forever

S t a r W a r s 🚀 • occupation: jedi knight - sith lord - gray jedi - smuggler - resistance fighter - pilot - scavenger - stormtrooper - ambassador - spiritual warrior-monk - bounty hunter - mechanic - senator • allegiance: the Dark Lord - the New Republic - the Jedi Order - the Resistance - the First Order - yourself • homeworld: Jedha - Tattooine - Naboo - Coruscant - Alderaan - Jakku - Takodana - Corellia • weapon of choice: blaster - explosives - lightsaber (blue - red - purple - green - black - silver) - staff - martial arts - diplomacy - the Force (telekinesis - mind control - lightning) • ship: X-Wing - Millennium Falcon - Star Destroyer - Jedi Starfighter - TIE Fighter - Alderaan Cruiser - Nubian Royal Starship • friend: Obi-Wan Kenobi - Ashoka Tano - Mace Windu - Luke Skywalker - Leia Organa - Jessica Pava - Cassian Andor - Bodhi Rook - Finn - Rey - BB8 - Matt the Radar Technician • following: no(t yet) sorry, but ily ♥ - now! - yes ofc - always and forever

M a r v e l ✨ • species: human - inhuman - mutant - Asgardian - Xandarian - Krylorian • occupation: secret agent - scientist - attorney - investigative journalist - private detective - mercenary - professor - soldier - pilot - ravager - outlaw - bounty hunter - Asgardian warrior - Valkyrie - member of Dora Milaje • hero: lone superhero - leader / member of a superhero team - sidekick - vigilante - antihero • home: Hell’s Kitchen - Brooklyn - Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters - London - Asgard - Vakanda - Xandar • weapon of choice: gun - explosives - throwing knives - bow & arrows - supersuit - martial arts - your fists - your superpowers - your mind • superpower: telepathy - telekinesis - electrokinesis - teleportation - superspeed - shapeshifting - flight - regeneration - healing - manipulation (fire - water - wind - earth - ice - weather) • sidekick: Peter Parker - Gamora - Lady Sif - Nakia - Melinda May - Matt Murdock - Sam Wilson - Steve Rogers - Thor - Carol Danvers - Bruce Banner - Negasonic Teenage Warhead - Scott Lang - Ororo Munroe - Daisy Johnson • following: no(t yet) sorry, but ily ♥ - now! - yes ofc - always and forever

J a n e A u s t e n - e s q u e🌹 • identity: the tender-hearted orphan of a mysterious origin - the rich & independent heiress - the respectable & kind daughter of a clergyman - the perfectly tolerable & witty middle sister - the spirited & adventurous only child - the brave & lovable wallflower - the noble & wealthy patroness of arts - the enigmatic & runaway daughter of an empoverished family • occupation: gentlewoman - respectable young miss - governess - lady’s companion - theatre diva - writer - painter - explorer - piano teacher - charity worker • location: Barton Cottage - Mansfield Park - Hartfield - Kellynch Hall - Northanger Abbey - Netherfield - Bath - Pemberley - London • kindred spirit: Elinor Dashwood - Emma Woodhouse - Anne Eliot - Jane Bennet - Eleanor Tilney - Fanny Price - Charlotte Lucas • soulmate: Edward Ferrars - Colonel Brandon - Mr Darcy - Elizabeth Bennet - George Knightley - Frederick Wentworth - Henry Tilney - Catherine Morland - Edmund Bertram • quote: • following: no(t yet) sorry, but ily ♥ - now! - yes ofc - always and forever

T o l k i e n ⚔ • race: maia - elf - human - hobbit - dwarf • location: Gondolin - Rivendell - Alqualondë - Lothlórien - Mirkwood - Minas Tirith - Edoras - Fangorn Forest - Bag End - Erebor - Lake Town - Ithilien - Tol Galen - Dol Amroth • occupation: Dúnedain ranger - rider of Rohan - shieldmaiden - soldier of Gondor - lord / lady of (Númenór - Gondor - Rohan - the Noldor - the Sindar - the Teleri) - Galadhrim warrior - jeweller & weaponsmith - scholar & librarian - gardener - burglar • weapon: sword (Ringil - Andúril - Guthwine - Orcrist - Glamdring - Sting) - Gondolin knife - spear Aeglos - longbow of the Galadhrim - Númenorian steelbow - Black Arrow - the Phial of Galadriel • jewel: the Silmarils - ring of power (the One Ring - Nenya - Narya - Vilya) - Arkenstone - the Ring of Barahir - the Evenstar necklace • Vala: Manwë - Ulmo - Aulë - Oromë - Mandos - Lórien - Tulkas - Varda - Yavanna - Nienna - Estë - Vairë - Vána - Nessa - Melkor • following: no(t yet) sorry, but ily ♥ - now! - yes ofc - always and forever

#@myfollowers #nf #nickie celebrates #i wasn't sure if i should make a celebration but here it is anyway #enter if you like ❤️❤️❤️#signal boost are appreciated too #i might have went slightly overboard with the number of blograte formats this year 😅

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inknerd · 5 years

Text

June Wrap-Up 2019

Sooo, first month of summer is over, I started my work for the summer yesterday, and now I’m tired and my body hurts. Hopefully I’ll keep my reading up... But this month’s been great!

THE WOMAN IN BLACK by SUSAN HILL ★★★☆☆ | 140 pages | 2 days to read | Published 1983

This book read like it was way older than it was - which is both interesting and mayhaps a bit tiring. But I liked it! It was short but definitely had a spooky vibe, and now I’m sort of interested in watching the movie. + It was short yet felt longer than it was, plus it had this more old-school classic horror feel to it that was fun to read. I should have read this in the evenings for more scary feelings but it was still a great read. - The ending felt pretty unresolved...while I get that it might not be solveable. the first few pages also felt very draining, and I had to push myself to continue.

OTHELLO by WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ★★☆☆☆ | 150 pages | 1 day to read | Published 1971(1603)

I read another Shakespeare! Sadly, this wasn’t a new favourite. + The basic plot was pretty interesting. I’m sure you can discuss this play a lot. - It was still somewhat boring and the characters felt so stereotypical and, well, rascist/sexist...

THE SUN AND HER FLOWERS by RUPI KAUR ★★★☆☆ | 256 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2017

I was in the city where my uni’s at for the day and while waiting for the train I checked out the local library; and they had this poetry collection I’ve been wanting to check out some time now! I read Milk and Honey last year, and thought it was okay, but thought I might like this better simply because it had a sunflower on the cover🌻 + Some of the poems were really beautiful, I liked the way it was organised in chapters with a flower blooming and the art was, just as in Milk and Honey, very effectful. - I’m still of the opinion that Kaur’s poetry isn’t fully my cup of tea, but I might read any future collections she writes!

CITY OF GHOSTS by VICTORIA SCHWAB ★★★☆☆ | 285 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

This book I also read while at the library. I was very happy finding it since I’d debated buying it for some time, but now I could just read it for free instead~ + It was charming and felt original while still in the “sees-ghosts-because-near-death-experience” genre. - While doing a lot of things right it also felt somewhat lackluster... Don’t know if I’ll continue on with this series.

MADE IN ABYSS #1 by AKIHITO TSUKUSHI ★★★☆☆ | 153 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2013

This is the first new manga I’ve chosen to pick up in a while! Originally, I wanted to watch the anime, but I couldn’t really find anywhere to watch it/buy it, so I decided to start on the manga instead. + I practically knew what was going to happen in this manga, but it was still fun to see all the details! The art, especially the scenery and backgrounds, are amazing and the story has a lot of interesting details that make the story more believable. - I haven’t fallen for the characters yet, but hopefully I’ll do so in the next volume. I also dislike the way this manga sort of...sexualises its characters (that are kids), which is the case with many other manga in the industry. It’s just so out of place for this story and not something I want to read.

THE TEMPEST by WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ★★☆☆☆ | 112 pages | 1 day to read | Published 1969(1623)

Might be my last Shakespeare play for a while. This one I’d only heard about in vague terms, so I didn’t really know much about the story going into it. + Ariel was a pretty interesting character, and the backstories the main characters talked about was the most interesting parts of this play. - Yet, this might be the most boring Shakespeare play I’ve yet to read. I wasn’t really interested in the characters, and while the “main” plot felt somewhat interesting the side-characters was not fun to follow and just, meh.

THE BEHOLDER by ANNA BRIGHT ★★★☆☆ | 435 pages | 1 week to read | Published 2019

This was in a fairyloot box and it is SO PRETTY (it has pink sprayed edges!). + As mentioned, the cover of the book is very nice. The premise of this book sort of sounds like a otome game in novel form, where the guys are inspired by fictional persons like Prince Arthur and Thor - and I really think the book handled the romance thing pretty well? Of course it’s a little insta-romance-y but it felt very passionate and genuine still. - I said to myself when I started to read this book that I hoped it didn’t take itself to serious. But...it did. The plot outside of the whole going-around-finding-someone-to-marry is not interesting to me at all, the worldbuilding is confusing and the characters, especially the main, goes back and forth when it comes to being likeable.

A COURT OF FROST AND STARLIGT by SARAH J. MAAS ★★☆☆☆ | 229 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2018

This was my first Sarah J. Maas book in forever, I honestly don’t know why I’ve put off reading both this, and the like three or so books I still have left from the Throne of Glass-series. + The cover is like the rest of the series, very pretty! It was also fun meeting all the characters (well, mostly fun) and for me, who read the third book quite a while ago, it was nice to sort of get a recap of what had happened and the consequences of it etc. - I don’t know, but I think I might grown out of Maas’ writing style, either that or it was just this book, and I don’t quite see why this whole book couldn’t just fit into the next “proper” one in the series. A huge part of this small book is also dedicated to Nesta. I hate Nesta, so...yeah.

LEKTIONSDESIGN by HELENA WALLBERG ★★★★☆ | 160 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2019

Look at me, reading books about teaching despite it being summer and my university isn’t forcing me to! + No, but really this book is exactly how I wish the books they make us read at uni would look like. Easy enough to understand, colourful and practical and most of all actual tips on how to plan a lesson or what games or techniques to use. I’ll definitely revisit this book sometime! - There were some things that were a little unclear to me, but I also realise I could’ve understood more if I’d slowed down a bit and reread certain parts.

QUEEN OF BABBLE by MEG CABOT ★★★★★ | 309 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2006

This is my ULTIMATE SUMMER BOOK. + I have reread this so many times, you have no idea. I can practically recite this book by know. And it’s not that it’s an amazing part of literature with any deep meaning or so, it’s just so funny and charming and summer-y that I just love to reread it like every summer. - BUT, this was my first full reread in a while (as in, I read the whole book from start to finish rather than just my favourite parts) and I can say that the main character can come off as a bit annoying and hypocritical, also some of the opinions and things said about, among other things, plastic surgery feels a bit dated to me.

THE QUITE NICE AND FAIRLY ACCURATE GOOD OMENS SCRIPT BOOK by NEIL GAIMAN ★★★★☆ | 512 pages | 1 week to read | Published 2019

Yes, hi, so I’m trash for Good Omens (2019)??? + This was so, so funny. I definitely recommend it for those who love the show (or have read the book). Gaiman’s stage directions are hilarious and totally the best part.

#reading wrap-up #reading wrap-up: june 2019 #books #booklr #julia reads #book recs #book reviews #ya lit #my post

2 notes · View notes

insporaelynn · 4 years

Text

📲 raelynn & cillian

WHEN: february 16th

DESCRIPTION: rae and cil talk about heavy shit and then make plans to go to a literal painting class with jude in tow.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: sex mention, drug mention, honestly if cil is involved there’s some warnings. TW: KILLAIN KELLY

@cilliankelly

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

Claudia reached out to me. To apologize, and well, I don't know if she's spoken to you but she let me know that she's a week clean. Hope it sticks.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i've talked to her, yeah...

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I didn't like. Outright give her my forgiveness, but I told her she can earn it. So. That's a step in the right direction?

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

you're more open to the idea than jude is.

he wants to cut her out entirely this time.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I mean, if that's what's going to be healthy for him, I support it.

For me, idk, I feel bad about not taking into account that she has a disease. She didn't choose this.

And I guess. I don't know. I want to give her a chance to do good for herself. If she fucks up again though...I'm bowing out. You can't help someone who doesn't want it.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i feel the same. i mean, she's my friend you know? but it's... it's complicated.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

You have to do what's going to be safe and healthy for you.

Whatever that looks like.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

it's not really about me. it's jude.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

Yeah, but she kind of wreaked havoc on both of your lives, you know? It affected you, too.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

it did, i know... but i mean... i want to support her, okay? she asked me to come to an NA meeting with her and i agreed. but me being involved with claudia at all... it bothers him.

we're not talking about it right now. he said he was going to therapy this week and maybe we could talk through it then.

it's just complicated.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

That sounds like the right way to handle it. For him to, you know, talk to someone completely outside of it first.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

yeah. and i mean the whole therapy thing... if it works for him then that's great. i just... it sucks. this whole situation.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I know. I feel for you both. I'd talk to him about it, but I don't want him to get upset about it all over again. Sometimes I feel like some shit is better left to his therapist.

He gave me the number of his therapist so that I can call and get referred to someone in my network...because I know I need some fucking help. But I haven't called yet. Idk.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

that's probably a good idea. i wouldn't mention claudia to him at all right now.

i still don't really know how i feel about the whole therapy thing. i want to believe that maybe it works but i don't know. i tried it once and that fucking failed so.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

All I know is that when I'm having sex, I'm not thinking about whatever's bugging me. So maybe I don't need it, maybe I just need to keep going out at night.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i mean that sounds better than therapy to me

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

Yeah like??? Whatever it's coping and I'm good at it.

Fuck report is gonna look dope this week.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i need an outlet. other than smashing things. though that it a helluva lot of fun

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

i mean there are those places where you can literally go there for the purpose of smashing things.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

but what's the fun in that?

controlled smashing?

fuck that

it defeats the purpose

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

i think it's only controlled in the sense that you have goggles on.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i don't want someone to give me permission to smash things, rae.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

maybe if you pay extra they'll yell at you to stop

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

that's another thing

why would i pay for something i can do for free?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

decent point.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i feel like maybe if i could make something. that would be... something. but what?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

Like something artsy?

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

it's stupid, right?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

no i don't think so at all. i actually have a few ideas i think?

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

like what?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I know that they sometimes have these cool events where they get a group of people together to do a painting. You bring a friend and your own wine and just chill and paint, and when you're done you have art to take home with you.

I walked by one awhile ago, they were painting the building from the office.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i dunno rae...

painting??

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

It can be fun, I mean, I haven't done it in forever, but art class was always really chill? Plus, a lot of these people are amateurs and just there to drink and hang out, so our pictures won't look that bad, and even if they do, i'll give you mine to hang in your place and you can give me yours lmao

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

the drinking part doesn't sound bad. does it have to be wine? can i bring fireball instead?

also i'm only going if you can somehow convince jude to go.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I have no idea actually? I guess you could probably fill one of my empty wine bottles with fireball. No one would notice.

omg, but you know he'd never.

not unless you really really wanted to.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

awwwwww bummer. guess that idea's shot, then.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

hey it's either that or color me mine

or pottery making without any alcohol

or adult coloring books at rae's house

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

at least with pottery i'd have something to break afterwards.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

cill NO

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

what?? it's my pot, i can do what i want with it.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

you fucking chaos human

i'll talk to J.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

even if he says yes, i'm STILL a maybe

cause we're gay, but we're not that gay.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

i'm doing you a favor!!!

how did this become about me!!

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

when you suggested PAINTING raelynn.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

WELL NOW POTTERY IS OFF THE TABLE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO SMASH IT

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i will continue to do what i WANT, thank you

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

idk who u think ur talking to i am still the big sister here

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

your pottery is next on the smashing block.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

We're not doing pottery!!!!

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

fine, then your painting is next on the BONFIRE, how do you like that?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO DO ART CILLIAN

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i said i wanted to MAKE something that could be ANYTHING

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

oh my GOD

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i could be making a damn SMOOTHIE

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A SMOOTHIE????

also Jude said he'll try anything twice.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

wait he actually said yes?

to the painting thing?????

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I think so, I'm getting confirmation

I checked to see what events they have this week and apparently on Friday there's a glow in the dark type of thing?

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲BOT02/17/2021

oh my god.

i can't believe this.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

we're not bringing fireball because a little birdy told me it makes you horny.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i—

fine.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

this will be cool though!!

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

will it, raemond? will it?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

That's Mr. Raemond to you

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

fine, SIR.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

that's better.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i still can’t believe you talked jude into this. what did you say to him?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

All I said was that I think it'd be good for you, and probably for all of us bc it's been a shit storm couple of weeks. months. years.

And he knows that you'd only go if he wanted to go, too.

The kid will do anything for you. Can't wait to officiate your wedding aka the only valid wedding that will ever happen.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

oh my god. you’re the second person to say something about us getting married.

can you honestly see either of us getting married? like ever?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

i never used to think that jude would. but like, idk, i've never seen two people more right than you guys.

even when i still was like....the kind of person who fell in love, like even at my MOST in love, I was never as in love as Jude is with you.

I think maybe he always did even if he didn't know.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

don’t go all mushy on me rae, i will vomit.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I'm not mushy I have no heart

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

fine then, don’t make ME get all mushy.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

basically love outside of the familial and platonic is a chemical con job and the validity is questionable at best, but i have never questioned the two of you, and coming from me, that's like, a certificate of authenticity.

i should make one and print it out and frame it for your anniversary

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i’ll be sure to hang it up.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

it might be more valid than a marriage license.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i do love him. more than i ever thought i could love anyone. he’s the only thing that makes sense to me, you know?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

i don't know if i know what it's like in the romantic sense, i mean, not anymore.

but in other senses, i mean, yeah.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

i don’t know what i would have done without you guys. jude especially but you too. and gran.

okay that’s enough of that. no more sap.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

i was literally about to tell you to shut up bc i'm literally out in public rn

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

oh? you are?

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

just got done work, grabbing some water before I go get my stuff

okay water and a shot.

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

in that case i LOVE you raemond, i don’t know what i’d do WITHOUT you, i don’t want to imagine a world that doesn’t have YOU in it, my heart is so FULL of love for YOU.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I hat eyou and I'm going to kill you and eat you for lunch

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

I'm getting picked up in a car so I can go get piped by three dudes.

So this is everything

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

three dudes?

damn, rae.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

Living THE BEST life

𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲

have fun. i expect a full review later.

𝑟𝑎𝑒𝑙𝑦𝑛𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟

If it's newsworthy I'll let ya know

#texts #texts: cillian #ch: cillian

0 notes

thebricknerd · 4 years

Text

Say Hello to the New BrickNerd Team

There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable LEGO people to see if they could become something more. Nine countries and at least ten languages later, we have gathered a team of incredible builders, writers, historians and artists to make connections across continents and showcase the best the global LEGO fan community has to offer. BrickNerds, assemble!

We are excited to share our love of LEGO, some intriguing stories, building talent and opinions while highlighting many amazing creations and creators within the AFOL community. We come from diverse backgrounds, generations, locations and demographics, and invite you to join us in dialogue as we explore the awesome nerdiness that is LEGO. Let’s meet the team!

Andreas Lenander

Andreas is from Sweden and builds just about everything! He is a member of Swebrick, and you can find him on Flickr, Instagram and LEGO Ideas.

“I’m an AFOL from Sweden with a patient wife and three kids. LEGO Masterpiece Gallery alumni. Been out of my dark age for about five years and love building... well, pretty much everything, haha!”

Are M. Heiseldal

Are hails from Norway and is most interested in storytelling, culture, and fascinating interviews. He is a member of both Brikkelauget and Brickish. You can find him on Flickr.

“I got back into LEGO because of the modular buildings - so the Café Corner is special to me - and then I dove into an amazing community, traveling to events all over Europe and North America. Through these travels, plus my contributions to the LEGO Adventure Books, Bricks Culture Magazine, the Skærbæk and Paredes de Coura Fan Weekends, and the LEGO House Fan Evenings, I've met some wonderful people both inside the LEGO company and elsewhere. I'll mainly be sharing stories from these experiences: The perspective of a traveling AFOL.”

Bart Larrow, Jr., D.M.D. (aka El Barto)

Bart lives in Vermont (USA) and is continuing as a contributor to BrickNerd! He loves Space, Architecture, and all things dental-related. He is a member of VirtuaLUG, and you can find him on Flickr and Bart’s Brick Designs.

“I’m a dentist in Vermont. I’ve been into LEGO since the 1970s, mostly Space, then I began collecting Star Wars Sets when they came out. I built my first Battlestar Galactica in 2010, and that’s when I found the online community. My family and I attended our first of many Brickworlds in 2013 with the VirtuaLUG Wizard of Oz collab. I started writing for BrickNerd back in 2015 when it was just a few of us, barely scraping by on a shoestring budget. I’m excited to see where this all goes under new management. But I’m STILL waiting to see a new coffee machine in the break room...”

Billy Mohr

Billy is from Pennsylvania (USA) and focuses on minifigure customization, military builds, and third-party offerings. You can find him on Instagram.

“Hello there! My name is Billy and I've been involved in the custom minifigure world since 2013. My goal is to engage customizers and purists alike as I share all that has me so excited to keep on creating. You can expect content ranging anywhere from an in-depth analysis of custom works to an informative look at popular techniques used in the community.”

Dave Schefcik

Dave lives in New York (USA) and loves LEGO Architecture, Winter Village, all things community-related, conventions, and meeting interesting people. He is a member of SeaLUG, PSLTC, I LUG NY, FabuLUG and SortLUG, helps organize BrickCon, and previously contributed to The Brothers Brick. You can find him on Flickr, Instagram and Facebook.

“I’m a lifetime lover of LEGO though I did suffer a Dark Age! As an adult, I started with the Modular Buildings then graduated to full AFOL status by building a huge custom Winter Village. I love building BIG and small, experimenting with foliage, and creating convention trophies. I collect rare sets and elements, analyze new parts, and try to learn everything I can about LEGO. I especially enjoy hearing how LEGO has impacted people’s lives, making connections within the community, and meeting fellow LEGO fans at events and conventions. I hope to see you at one in the future!”

Douglas Hughes

Doug lives in Washington (USA) and builds on all things Power Functions, Castle/Fantasy, Space, and contests. He is a member of SeaLUG, and you can find him on Flickr, Instagram and YouTube.

“Hello! I'm Doug Hughes, an AFOL in my free time and an engineer by trade. I'm originally from the East coast but have made Seattle, WA my home as an adult. I love the LEGO community both here in the wonderful Pacific Northwest and also online, originally on MocPages and now on Flickr, Instagram, and Discord, so I hope to see you there! If you scroll through my work you'll find builds containing power functions, fantasy, castle... and just about anything else!”

Eduard Petrac

Eduard lives in Norway and is from Croatia. He focuses on all things City, interviews and event reports. He is a member of Kockice RLUG in Croatia, has written for Hispabrick, and you can find him on Flickr.

“I’ve been a LEGO fan since I can remember, growing up and building Town/City layouts. A part of the AFOL Community since 2010 which opened up a world of like-minded people on my journeys across Europe. Hoping to bring a fresh approach to Interviews and City-themed sets.”

Francesco Spreafico

Francesco is from Italy and enjoys LEGO History and European Events. He is a member of ItLUG, and contributes to New Elementary and OldBricks.it. You can find him on Flickr and Instagram.

“I am the LAN Ambassador for ItLUG, the Italian LUG, and since I visited the LEGO Idea House five years ago my main LEGO interest has become LEGO History. Another thing I like to do, when the world situation is normal, is organizing and participating in international events in Europe. And that's mainly what I'm going to write about here.”

Geneva Durand

Geneva splits her time between the US and Chile. She spans interests including all things Castle, Ninjago, LEGO Babies, and LEGO Contests. She is a member of InnovaLUG, and you can find her on Flickr, Instagram and her blog.

“I started building with LEGO bricks back when I was 14, and since then I've tried everything from medieval towers to banana-shaped spaceships! Along the way, I've learned new techniques, photography tips, and more from other LEGO builders, so I try to take whatever chances come my way to give a little back. I'm also a writer, I play classical guitar, I'm bilingual, and I do Taekwondo. I'm a Bible-believing Christian and my goal in life is to glorify God and enjoy him forever!”

Gwyneth Kozbial

Gwyneth lives in California and loves LEGO art, new elements and techniques, the fan community, and fantasy lines. She is a member of LUGOLA, and you can find her on Instagram.

“I’m an adult-onset AFOL who digs the community's creative diversity and is best known for MOCing the British Beatles album covers, with each "mosaic" employing a unique building style. I’m based in the Southern California desert and hope to explore new techniques while humanizing the talents of builders who push the system's bounds.”

Keith Reed

Keith lives in Canada and builds everything from Apocalypse, Dystopia, Pirates, Movies, Steampunk and more. He is a member of S.l.u.g, and you can find him on Flickr and Instagram.

“I've been building since I was little. LEGO has always been a big part of my life even through my "dark ages". LEGO became a huge part of life again when I joined a lug in 2012. It’s lead to many great memories and friendships since then. Looking forward to showcasing many great MOCs, builders and events.”

Lia Chan

Lia lives in Texas and loves realistic space MOCs and all things NASA. She is a member of DFW-LUG, and you can find her on Flickr, Instagram and Facebook.

“Hiya, I'm Lia Chan, I live near Dallas, Texas, member of the D/FW-LUG. I got my first set of LEGO when I was 5 years old and have been building ever since. I build mostly realistic Space MOCs, especially things related to NASA.”

Malin Kylinger

Malin lives in Sweden and enjoys all types of creative MOCs and LEGO Art. She is a member of Swebrick, and you can find her on Flickr and Instagram.

“I’m a creative MOC builder who likes to build fantasy or sci-fi inspired builds with a great love for vibrant colours especially blue and green. The LEGO hobby is more than just building, it´s therapy, expressing creativity and being a part of an amazing community.”

Markus Rollbühler

Markus lives in Denmark and builds Castle, Microscale and more! He is a member of both RogueBricks and Brick.ie. You can find him on Flickr and Instagram.

“I’m Markus and I love to build in a variety of themes, scales and styles – a jack of all trades, if you may. I constantly find myself building castle though, and I love using pieces creatively especially in microbuilds. When I'm not building, I attend events all over the globe or organise things like Iron Builder – ultimately giving back to the community that has given me so much. I'm excited to bring all of that to BrickNerd, writing about techniques, sorting or photography, latest builds or events – whatever might be of interest! :) ”

Michael J.

Michael lives in Central USA and is continuing on as a contributor to BrickNerd! He loves Space, Castle, Pirates, and everything in between. He is a member of GTWLUG, and you can find him on Flickr.

“I've been building for almost as long as I can remember (one of the lucky few without a significant dark age). Found the online community about 10 years ago and a LUG to call home about six years ago. I've been an occasional contributor here at BrickNerd since May of 2019.”

Miro Dudas

MIro lives in California and loves building characters, animals, and nature. He is a member of SanDLUG, and you can find him on Instagram.

“I’m a lifelong LEGO fan and builder from San Diego, California. I enjoy creating character models and animals out of LEGO when I’m not hiking, busy with woodworking projects, playing guitar or running the San Diego LEGO Users Group (SanDLUG).”

Noah Hennings

Noah lives in Germany and loves all things Star Wars, Cyberpunk, Medieval and Lord of the Rings. He is a member of RebelLUG, and you can find him on YouTube, Instagram, Flickr, Twitter, Block Heads, and MOC Builder.

“Hello there, I’m Noah! Using this artistic medium loved by many, I assemble models and scenes from mostly the science fiction realm, primarily Star Wars with some recent dabbles into Cyberpunk. I’m looking to share creations from around the community that not only look impressive, but come from people who give their twist as to what LEGO means for them.”

Sergio Rojas

Sergio is from Chile, and builds pop culture, nature, art, and more. He is a member of ChileLUG, and you can find him on Instagram and Flickr.

“Photography and pop culture were the fuel to restart the LEGO passion in me after a long dark ages years ago when there wasn't a LEGO community in Chile. Lucky for me more people were looking for AFOLs to share their hobby and so we founded ChileLUG. But for me not only are the builds interesting, also getting to know how people live their hobby all around the world: their LEGO rooms, the creative process, local conventions and more.”

Simon Liu

Simon lives in Canada and loves Sci-Fi, Space, Mecha, Greebles, and all things contest-related. He is a member of ToroLUG, RebelLUG, OraphanLUG and EscapeLUG. You can find him on Flickr, Instagram and YouTube.

“Hey I'm Simon, I like building Sci-Fi — mainly so that I can systematically shove the cutest creature in little mech suits. I've been in the community for a few years now, but I still feel like I'm a new kid on the block with so many aspects of community I have yet to meet and such deep established roots. But early on I realized what an amazing impact the community can have, so I've been sneaking my way and trying to see as much as I can, and hopefully you can see some of the LEGO community through my eyes via some sort of brain to text technology!”

Sue Ann Barber

Sue Ann lives in Australia, and is mostly interested in unusual LEGO themes like Scala, Clickits and Fabuland as well as building standards like Micropolis, Miniland Scale, Minifig Habitats and Brick Bending. She is a member of MUGs (Melbourne LEGO User Group) and Brickventures, and you can find her on her Brick Room Blog and The Plastic Brick House.

“I became an AFOL in the early 1990s and have been active in the local and international community ever since. I’m a big fan of the more unusual aspects of the LEGO fan community — from obscure themes to weird collectibles and everything in-between”

Ted Andes

Ted lives in Kentucky (USA) and loves contests, Trains, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Speederbikes, Collabs, and more. You can find him on Flickr.

“I’m a MOC builder based in Louisville, KY (USA), drawn to building in sci-fi and fantasy themes and finding creative ways to seamlessly use System/Technic/Constraction parts in my builds. I tend to write articles more about the human elements of the building hobby than those little plastic ones that we all adore.”

Will Fong

Will lives in Canada and loves Trains, Battle Bricks and Robots. He is a member of VLC, and you can find him on Flickr, Instagram and Battle Bricks.

“I started building in 2016. I focus on building public transit vehicles, and I am also the theme coordinator for Battle Bricks fighting robots at BrickCan and BrickCon. Most of my content revolves around what I do and how you too can build fighting robots.”

But wait, there’s more! BrickNerd is still growing and adding amazing contributors so stay tuned to see who else is joining our Nerdly ranks. If you are interested in becoming a contributor for BrickNerd, please send an email to [email protected]. Let the LEGO nerdiness commence!

#BrickNerd #afol #AFOLs #Conventions #Community #Contributors #LUGs

0 notes

nothingbythebook · 4 years

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First, an apology for the title slug. I know you’re all sick and tired of plays on A Love in the Time of Cholera. Still. There’s a reason we’re doing it.

Second… but really first:

i. A catalogue

I recently moved, and as part of the uprooting, I culled my physical books to the essentials. (Ok, I moved like 500 metres away, but hey, packing and thus purging was definitely involved.) Stress on the physical: thank gods for my e-readers, a library of thousands always in my pocket.

Still. I was pretty ruthless. Totally ruthless, actually. Goodbye, university textbooks. Goodbye, books from the “I was a teenage Wiccan” phase. Goodbye, big thick books that look good on my shelf and make me feel smart because I own them—but let’s be honest, I’m never going to read Infinite Jest. I tried. It’s unreadable. I read Gravity’s Rainbow—goodbye—and, frankly, wish I hadn’t, don’t remember what it’s about, and I’ll never get that time back.

Goodbye, all of Jeanette Winterson’s not Sexing the Cherry books. Goodbye, gifted books that missed the mark—goodbye, self-bought books that I read, don’t remember, will never read again. Goodbye, books I once loved but don’t anymore—that cull was the hardest.

What’s left was still heavy to move and comprises about ten shelf equivalents. But each of these books is loved. Important.

Like The Letters of Sylvia Plath and this little known book of the poet’s drawings:

I don’t actually own Plath’s The Bell Jar or Ariel. How is this possible? Note to self: must buy. Response to self: this is how it beings, hoarding, pack-ratting expansion. Don’t do it. Response to response to self: Shut up. I want my Sylvia.

All of my Polish books:

Some of these have travelled the world with my parents and me for almost forty years. The Polish translation of A.S. Lindgren’s Children from Bullerbyn (which used to belong to my dad’s sister, actually—she got it and read it the year I was born) and of Winnie The Pooh—the first “chapter” books I ever read. And, of course, Sienkiewicz, Mickiewicz, Orzeszkowa, Rodziewiczówna. Kapuścinski. The more modern poets: Zagajewski, Anna Świrszczyńska and Wisława Szymborska, not in translation.

This cultural heritage of mine, I have a very… fraught, complex relationship with. So much beauty, so much passion, so much suffering—so much stupidity, so much pain.

Governments do not define a national, a culture, or a people, I suppose. But in a democracy, they reflect the will and the hearts of the majority of the people, and, if the current government of Poland reflects the majority of the will and the hearts of the (voting) Polish people, they are repugnant to me and I want nothing to do with them. I am ashamed of them, of where I come from.

But I do come of them, from there, do I not?

Still. I keep the books. Including the one celebrating our first modern proto-fascist, Józef Piłsudski. History is complicated; ancestry not chosen.

Next, a shelf of all of my favourites.

All of Jane Austen, of course. Most of Nabokov. Virginia Woolf, because, well, it’s complicated. Susan Sontag’s On The Suffering of Others, and E.M. Forester’s Maurice—I gave up Room With a View and the others. J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, not so much because I’ll ever read it again but because it was so important back then. Anthony Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange, because nothing like it has been written before or since. Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas—I mean. I had to keep it, hero of my misspent university youth. I put him right next to Charles Bukowski’s Women, which isn’t great, but which… well. It taught me a lot about writing. Then, Jorge Luis Borges’ The Book of Imaginary Beings, which always makes me cry because a) it exists and b) I will never write that well.

Edward Said’s Orientalism, the only book to survive my “why the fuck did I keep all of these outdated anthropology and sociology and history textbooks for 25 years” purge. Margaret Mead’s New Lives for Old, which wasn’t one of them, but a later acquisition, kept in honour of the woman who dared live her life, do her thing. She wasn’t the smartest, the brightest, the most original—but fuck, she dared. Fraser’s The Golden Bough and Lilian Faderman’s Chloe Plus Olivia, both acquired in my teens—the first gave me religion for a while, while I freed myself of the Polish Catholicism in which I grew up (“freed” is an aspirational word; I suspect the religions we are indoctrinated into in childhood stay in our bones forever—the best that we can do is be aware when that early programming tries to sabotage our critical thinking and emotional well-being), and the second showed me I wasn’t a freak, an aberration, alone.

Next, The First Ms. Reader and the Sisterhood is Powerful anthology—original 1970s paperbacks bought in a used bookstore in the 1990s when I was discovering feminism. Monica Sjöö and Barbara Mor’s The Great Cosmic Mother—I suppose another Wicca-feminism vestige. I will never read it again, but way back when, that book changed my life, so. Here it is, with me, still.

And now, back to fiction: The Doorbell Rang, my only Rex Stout hardcover, although without the dust jacket, and a hardcover, old, maybe even worth something, with protected dust jacket intact, of P.G. Wodehouse’s Psmith, Journalist. Next to them, The Adventures of Romney Pringle and The Further Adventures by Romney Pringle, the single collaboration between R. Austin Freeman and John J. Pitcairn under the pseudonym of Clifford Ashdown. Written in 1902 or so, both volumes are the first American edition. In mint condition. Like the P.G. Wodehouse—and The Letters of Sylvia Plath, and the unique, autographed, bound in leather made from the butts of sacrificed small children or something, Orson Scott Card Maps in the Mirror short story collection, which is next-but-one to them on the bookshelf—they were a gift from Sean.

A lot of the books on my shelves, here with me now, are a gift from Sean.

Between them, a hard cover Georges Simeon found at a garage sale, and then G.K. Chesterton—Lepanto, the poem about the 1571 naval battle between Ottoman forces and the Holy (that’s what they called themselves) League of Catholic Europe, which I will never read again, but which is associated with a specific time and event in my personal history, so I keep it. Next to it, The Collected Stories of Father Brown, in battered hardcover, which I re-read intermittently, and which are—well. Perfect, really. Then, all of Dashiell Hammett in one volume. Then, almost all the best Agatha Christie’s in four “five complete novels” hardcover collections, topped with two multi-author murder mystery medleys from the 1950s.

Looking at this shelf makes me very, very happy.

Next, the one fully preserved collection. Before the move, these books lived on a bookshelf perched on top of my desk. Now, they are here, their “natural” order slightly altered because of the uneven height of this case’ shelves. The top shelf is, I suppose, mostly reference and writing books:

The Paris Review Interviews, Anne Lammott’s Bird by Bird, Neil Gaiman’s Make Good Art, Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style, and their ilk. At the end, a couple of publications in which I have a byline.

The next shelf, the smallest on the case, is a bit of a smorgasboard, but is very precious to me:

Do you see Frida and my Tarot cards? Also an Ariana Reines book that I really should give back to its owner…

Next, my perhaps most precious books.

Philip Larkin’s Letters to Monica and Nabokov’s Letters to Vera. Anne Carson’s If Not Winter: Fragments of Sappho. Four Letter Word, a collection of “original love letters” (short stories, they mean, pretentious fucks) from an assortment of mega-stars, including Margaret Atwood, Leonard Cohen, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Neil Gaiman, Ursula K. LeGuin… a strange assortment, really. But some lovely pieces in there. Some lame ones too—and I like that too. Even superstars misfire, every one in a while.

Then, Leonard Cohen, Pablo Neruda, Walt Whitman, Jack Gilbert, Vera Pavlova. Finally, Anaïs Nin’s Delta of Venus and Little Birds, and a bunch of battered Colettes. Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer right next to Colette, of course. Then, my Frida books.

The next shelf is full of aspirational delusions.

Farsi textbooks next to Hafez, Rumi and Forough Farrokzad translations. I will never be able to read Hafez in the original Persian. But maybe? Life is long. Maybe, one day, I will have time. Then, Jung’s Red Book, Parker J. Palmer’s A Hidden Wholeness, Rod Stryker’s The Four Desires, Stephen Cope’s The Great Work of Your Life, Thich Nhat Hahn’s The Art of Communicating (I failed), The Bhagavad Gita (still trying).

As I said, the shelf of delusions.

The bottom shelf is aspirational/inspirational, and also, very tall.

And so, that’s why my Georgia O’Keefe books are there, as well as The Purple Book, and Obrist’s do it manifesto. Perhaps there is room there for my leather-bound Master’s thesis, currently tucked away in the closet, right there, next to a course binder from SAIT? Then, all of my Spanish books, including Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s El Amor en los Tiempos del Cólera… which, also, one day, I will read in Spanish and actually understand. Life is long, right?

Next, not really a book shelf as such, but the top shelf of my secretary desk, where the reference and project books of the moment live.

The Canadian Press Stylebook has a permanent home here, of course. And I’ve got two copies of Canadian Copyright: A Citizen’s Guide there, one for me (unread, but I’ll get to it, I promise myself, again), one for a colleague. Both snagged from a Little Free Library, by the way.

Almost done.

In the bedroom, the books of vice.

A shelf of battered Ngaio March paperbacks, tucked beside them some meditation and Kundalini yoga books that I’m not using right now, but, maybe, one day, I am not ready to give up on this part of myself yet. Below, a shelf of even more battered Rex Stout paperbacks.

I read and re-read these books—as did their original owners—until they fall to pieces. They are my crack, my vice—also, my methadone, my soother.

Below them, space for library books, mine and Ender’s:

I am finding Anna Mehler Paperny’s Hello I want to Die Please Fix Me unreadable, by the way. I pick it up, put it away. Repeat.

Will likely return it to the library unread.

Currently not on display: books by friends. Some here with me, some on the shelves in the Co-op house. There are a lot of those. Can one be ruthless… with friends?

ii. A reflection

Books, for readers and writers, are the artifacts that define us. When I enter a reader’s home, I immediately gravitate to their bookshelves. What’s on them?

What’s not on them?

What I’ve chosen to let go of, to not bring with me here tells me… a lot.

What am I going to do with this information?

xoxo

“Jane”

Books in the Time of Corona: what’s on my shelves and what’s not, and the story it tells First, an apology for the title slug. I know you're all sick and tired of plays on…

#artifacts #books #collections

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kismet-at-the-library · 7 years

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A-Z BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

I’ve seen a few of these lists floating around as per @macrolit‘s idea (you can find their original post here) and obviously I had to spend the past few hours compiling a list of my own. It’s definitely harder than it looks! I was trying to go for some less obvious choices while also paying homage to all the books that have struck a chord with me, but I must admit I had to cheat a little by including a few titles from my TBR pile. In my defense, I have an excellent feeling about all of these – plus, what better motivation to finally get started on reading them? (If only grad school weren’t in the way... but a girl can still dream.)

A - Atonement by Ian McEwan (2001)

A superbly well-written and incredibly touching novel, featuring one of the children characters I’ve related to the most in my reading life. (Yes, I relate to Briony! Not for what she does, of course, but the way she experiences and describes the world is just so so familiar to me.)

B - The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz (2007)

I think I’m still a little heartbroken over this one. It wasn’t always perfect, but it’s stayed with me in a way that other books I’ve read in the past few years haven’t. Plus, I still can’t get over a narrator using footnotes to explain historical details about the Dominican Republic. If you’ve read Díaz before, you’ll definitely fall for Yunior’s voice all over again. And if you haven’t, what are you waiting for?

C - La casa de los espíritus (The House of the Spirits) by Isabel Allende (1982)

I already got one for H (this list was not compiled in alphabetical order) so I’m “cheating” by using the title in the original language (which is also the one I read it in).

D - Du côté de chez Swann (The Way by Swann’s) by Marcel Proust (1913)

...because lately I’ve been mildly (she says) obsessed with Proust and you should be too <3 This is the first volume in the monumental In Search of Lost Time. I went in knowing hardly anything about it other than ~Proust~ and was incredibly surprised by how accessible it was. (If you’re still feeling intimidated, I definitely recommend reading Alain de Botton’s How Proust Can Change Your Life to help break the ice!)

E - Emplumada by Lorna Dee Cervantes (1981)

A poetry collection by the author on whom I wrote my bachelor’s thesis. Lorna Dee Cervantes writes about growing up as a working-class Chicana in the U.S. Southwest. In her poems as in her life, gender, race, and class intersect to make up the experience of a powerful woman and gifted poet who uses incredibly lyrical language.

F - Free Enterprise: A Novel of Mary Ellen Pleasant by Michelle Cliff (1993)

Now, if you want some good, kickass, well-researched alternative historiography featuring Black historical lady figures, then this is the book for you. It’s an account (fictional, yes, but in no way less significant than the ‘authorized’ history) of John Brown’s raid on Harpers Ferry and the women that took part in it (for non-U.S. readers, John Brown was a white abolitionist who tried to start an armed slave revolt). One of those women was Mary Ellen Pleasant, a black woman and entrepreneur who helped fund John Brown’s raid. So, yep, you should definitely get to this one straight away. It’s not the most accessible kind of writing because it moves across time, space, and characters, but if you pay enough attention you’ll have no problem following it until the end, and you’ll be immensely enriched because of it. <3

G - The Good Soldier by Ford Madox Ford (1915)

This is the saddest story I have ever heard. That’s the first line of the book, by the way. If you like unreliable narrators and morally-dubious characters, you’ll definitely enjoy this one.

H - Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (2006)

Adichie is very well known right now because of her booklet We Should All Be Feminists (and with good reason), but this is the one that made me fall in love with her. I don’t even remember what led me to buying this book when I basically knew nothing about her, but I’m so glad I did. I love historical fiction and this novel about the Biafran War just broke my heart in all the right places. One of my best on-a-whim purchases.

I - If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (2017)

This is one of the latest books I’ve read but more importantly one I’ve been excited to read for at least two years. The stakes were high but wow, did it deliver. It’s been marketed as a mystery/literary thriller but I get the feeling that this kind of description could turn away readers who are not into mysteries but who would have plenty of other reasons to enjoy this novel. Yes, there is a mystery (and the pacing is excellent!) but the story is really about the characters, who are really well-developed. Rio ( @m-l-rio) has the incredible ability to set a scene with great economy of words and make each of them count. And, oh, that ending was absolutely perfect.

(Special mention: If This Is a Man by Primo Levi.)

J - Jacques the Fatalist and his Master by Denis Diderot (1796)

A novel about subverting the reader’s expectations (and I mean that). I read this one some 6 years ago but I still think about it as one of the funniest novels (or non-novels?) I’ve ever read and I can’t wait to read it again one day. It gets very, very meta and I remember lots of (subtle or not-so-subtle) criticism on the art of the novel as practised by Diderot’s contemporaries.

(Special mention: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. Because, do I even need to explain? <3)

K - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (1960)

Well, this one is a bit obvious. Didn’t have a lot of K-titles to choose from... But also, this was one of the first books I read in English, at a time when my love of literature fully-blossomed, and that makes it even more special.

L - The Lonely Londoners by Sam Selvon (1956)

I loved the writing in this novel about the life of West Indian immigrants in London in the 1950s. Such a strong narrative voice. Its only flaw is that it only focuses on the male immigrant experience, but that’s no reason not to love it anyway.

M - Manual of the Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho (1997)

The book that made me get into Paulo Coelho quite a few years ago. I’m less into him now, but this is still among my favourites <3 A book one can turn to in times of hardship, always ready to offer much-needed words of wisdom.

N - North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell (1855)

I think @dukeofbookingham once described this as “Pride and Prejudice with a social conscience” and I don’t think I can top that description. If you’re still unsure about this, why not watch the 2004 BBC adaptation with Richard Armitage?

O - Orlando by Virginia Woolf (1928)

Sometimes a bit difficult to get through, but so beautifully written that it makes it totally worth it. Also, such an imaginative read!

P - Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw (1913)

Maaaaan I love this play. My inner linguistic nerd can’t resist Higgins’s endavours to train Eliza to speak like a “proper lady”, and the feminist in me is ever in awe of Eliza’s strength of character. (Don’t trust the ending they gave her in My Fair Lady. Shaw was much smarter than that.)

Q - Regina di fiori e di perle (Queen of Flowers and Pearls) by Gabriella Ghermandi (2011)

Now this is a double cheat because 1) I’m using the translation to make it work, and 2) I took it from my TBR pile, but this is one I’m really excited about, and it’s by an Italo-Ethiopian author, so... <3

R - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard (1966)

There were plenty of more obvious choices for this one and I’ve actually only ever seen the film adaptation, but I love the idea for this play so much I couldn’t resist. Plus, I’ve been meaning to get my hands on a copy since forever...

S - Sillabari (Abecedary) by Goffredo Parise (1972-1982)

Going again by the title in the original language. Honestly, I keep trying to recommend this wonderful book to my English-speaking friends but it’s so frustrating because only the first part of this (...novel? collection?) has been translated into English. “Collection” doesn’t seem like the right word because there is such a strong thematic unity to this book, but it is certainly made up of vignettes, each of which is meant to describe a human feeling, something that is achieved with great economy of words and often in unexpected and unpredictable ways. Incidentally, this is a particularly fitting title for this list because the vignettes are organized in alphabetical order (Abecedary, anyone?) –the first one is “Amore”, love. If you can read Italian, I cannot recommend this enough!

(Special mention: Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre Lorde.)

T - The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (1954)

This doesn’t look like cheating but it feels like cheating. :P There were plenty of other titles to choose from but none that was giving me as strong a feeling. Plus, it feels good to pay homage to one of the books that started it all for me <3 (and I actually first discovered Tumblr by looking for LOTR-related content, so it's even more appropriate.)

U - Chasing Utopia: A Hybrid by Nikki Giovanni (2013)

I was trying to go for something that wasn’t Ulysses (which I haven’t read yet, by the way). Now, I haven’t read this whole collection, but I remember reading some of Nikki Giovanni’s poetry in one of my American literature classes and I definitely liked her work. Plus, I love that title! I had kind of forgotten about this one, so now might be the right time to go and actually check it out from the library.

V - Il visconte dimezzato (The Cloven Viscount) by Italo Calvino (1951)

Wow, was it difficult to find a worthy V-title! (Or one that is not in my TBR pile.) I haven’t read the books in this unconventional ‘trilogy’ in so long, but I still remember liking them a lot (although my favourite was always The Nonexistent Knight).

W - Waiting in the Twilight by Joan Riley (1987)

This is a more obscure title and probably not as easy to get a hold of (AbeBooks would be your best option) but this immigrant story about a Jamaican woman and her dream of building a better life for herself told from the perspective of her disenchanted old self is incredibly powerful and just... my heart breaks for Adella.

X/Y - I got nothing. :(

Z - Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde (1982)

Another one that I haven’t read (yet), but this is Audre Lorde, so. <3

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krissysbookshelf · 7 years

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