#plus idk!!! the message of 'maybe your anger is trying to tell you something' is so important and i didnt expect to see it in this movie

[wooahaes]

every day i think abt elemental and how i cried in the movie theatre watching it

[jtsfavslut]

hiii im sorry idk if ur taking requests but i feel like this would b so cute. so y/n is gray’s girlfriend n she’s latina. when juanpa starts hanging w the twins again, she meets him and rly ~vibes~ w him cuz they both speak spanish, like- they’d prank them or talk shit (or pretend to talk shit) abt them etc and gray would get kinda jealous and would try to learn more spanish? no se si tiene sentido sjdjsdjsj btw soy argentina <33 pd: sería re divertido si y/n fuera argentina solo porque nunca vi un fic con una argentina jajja pero como vos quieras <3 (i LOVE ur writing)

Hola Amor!!! That’s actually really cute, omg, like he would get so jealous, but not even of Juanpa, just of your relationship with him, and the fact that Juanpa speaks Spanish and he doesn’t!!! But Yo amo cuando la gente tiene acento de Argentina, porque me quedo media boba, cuz it 's like so satisfying omg!!!! Also, I love you!!!!

“Juanpa, he’s the Mexican guy right?” you asked and Grayson nodded his head. He was telling you how an old friend of theirs, who also speaks Spanish was coming over, and you were honestly excited. 

“Yeah, he’s really funny too. Juanpa is built differently,” he replied, making you chuckle as you shook your head. 

But when you finally met him, Grayson was right. Juanpa was built differently. And it was hard to tell whether he was joking about something or not.

“Hey, y/n,” he whispered when he noticed neither of the twins were paying attention. You were currently in the backyard, the twins eating something vegan that Grayson cooked, while you and Juanpa made something that you made.

“Dime,” you replied, turning to look at him, he had a weird look on his face, like he was planning something, but you didn’t really know why.

“Vamos, a hacerle una broma,” he whispered and you shook your head, widening your eyes. 

“Vos esta loco, oh que? La ultima ves que yo y E, le hicimos una broma, no me hablo por todo el dia,” you replied, and turned to look towards Grayson who was already looking at you. 

‘Y/N, no es nada malo, solamente pretendemos que estamos hablando de él. Como ahora,” he shrugged, you sighed but agreed after a couple of seconds. 

“Que quieres que yo haga?” 

“Solo sigue mirándolo y conversado conmigo,” he replied and you nodded your head, carrying on with Juanpa’s simple but funny plan. 

After a couple of minutes of wondering what was so interesting about you and Juanpa’s conversation, Grayson got up from his seat, walking towards you as you tried to hold in your giggles. 

“What are we talking about?” he casually asked, even if deep down he was about to combust. 

“Nothing. You wouldn’t understand anyways,” Juanpa sighed and you had to turn the other way in order to not laugh. 

“Oh,” Grayson let out, making you feel bad. 

“It was nothing Amor, just some tea he was spilling,” you said as he sat down next to you, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. 

He was jealous. Grayson got extremely touchy when he was jealous. He was normally touchy, but when he felt ‘threatened’ he would touch you more, hug you more, kiss you more, and not leave your side until he felt that his message got across. 

That was just the first time, the second time Grayson felt jealous was when you and Juanpa were vibing to spanish music. Horribly singing along to the music, while Grayson had no clue on what was even going on. 

“I’m so done with this,” he scoffed towards Ethan and he scrunched his face up in confusion. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean them, just look at them. When they talk, it’s always in Spanish and it looks suspicious, they have inside jokes, when he’s around she barely talks to me, they’re singing songs to each other which I don’t even know the meaning of. I mean it’s clear she likes him more than me,” he sighed, feeling a mixture of hurt and anger while Ethan shook his head.

“Grayson, how many of our friends speak Spanish?” 

“Just him, and Mando, plus her,” Grayson sighed.

“How many of her friends speak Spanish?” Ethan asked and Grayson shrugged. 

“I don’t know, just Mando and now him,”

“See, it’s not that she likes him  more, she just found someone that she can talk to in her own language. And Grayson, Juanpa’s here like twice a week, it’s not that deep,” Ethan replied, making Grayson let out a loud sigh, that you heard, making you turn to look at him. You quickly excused yourself before walking over to him. 

“Amor, what’s wrong?” you asked, a slight pout on your concern filled face.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” he sighed and you shook your head knowing he was lying. 

“Bullshit. I’m not going to push you, but if you wanna talk, please talk to me,” you softly spoke and he nodded his head. 

Over the course of a week, Grayson spent all his free time attempting to learn Spanish, just so that he could feel closer to you. He barely learned anything. Maybe just a few phrases and words. He couldn't expect more, after it all it was just one week and a shitty youtube video.

“Amor, pasarme mi botella,” he randomly said as you were both sitting on the couch, taking in the peacefulness of having the house to yourselves. 

“I- umm sure,” you replied, not wanting to question his random and incorrect use of the Spanish language, so you leaned down to pick up his water bottle and handing it to him.

“Was that good? Or like was it bad?” He asked and you looked at him with confusion, “My Spanish, was it good?” 

“It was okay, you used the wrong verb but it’s okay,” you smiled and he nodded his head. 

“Well, what’s the correct verb?” 

“Well, if you wanna get it over with you can just say ‘pasamé la botella’ or if you wanna be polite you can say ‘me puedes pasar la botella?’ you can use both, it doesn’t matter,” you replied and he nodded his head, whispering the sentences a few times so that he could remember them. 

The second time, he said something so random and incorrect that you don’t even remember what it was, but you were starting to notice that he was acting weird, and decided to finally question him. 

“Alright, what’s going on?” you asked sitting up straight and he shook his head. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean you. You’re acting weird. Suddenly wanting to speak Spanish, not leaving my side when another male is around. Did I do something?” You asked and he shook his head letting out a sigh. 

“No, it’s just that you and Juanpa. You understand each other so well, and I don’t. When you speak Spanish, and I have no idea of what you’re saying, I feel like you’re planning something against me. And your inside jokes, I don’t know. I just feel like he understands you more than I do, so I tried to learn Spanish, but that clearly didn’t work out,” he replied making you pout. 

“Amor, you know none of that is true. Yes, me and Juanpa are good friends, but that doesn’t mean he understands me more, I mean in Spanish he does, but he doesn’t understand me as a person, only you do. And I only like him as a friend. I like and love you as a boyfriend. And the inside jokes, don’t even make sense. But Gray, you should’ve told me this, because we purposely made it seem like we were talking about you,” you replied making him chuckle. 

“I love you,” he sighed, pulling you over so that you were straddling him. 

“I love you more,” you placed a quick kiss on his nose before he pulled you down, connecting his lips with yours. 

“Do you think you can teach me Spanish?” 

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 4

Since today is International Women’s Day, I decided a (somewhat) timely viewing might be in order.

she’s running! finally!

what are these unnecessarily graphic autopsy scenes?? what narrative purpose are they serving?

“Tony, don’t be a dick.” Murray sucked in Episode 2, but I’m falling for his bluntness tbh.

“I heard that on a search of Catherine Martin’s apartment...” hey! a book reference!

Clarice didn’t live through Hannibal’s mind games to be manipulated by this chump.

an incredibly weird flex: making Krendler the victim of career sabotage?????

oh boy, I do not like where this Ardelia subplot seems to be going. Ardelia’s ambitious, but she’s also loyal. C.S. + A.M.!

“you’re speaking to me like a roommate about a case I’m investigating.” she IS your roommate, and she literally spoke to you the same way about a case SHE was investigating, Ardelia! where was your by-the-book attitude then?

Clarice is not behaving any differently than she has in the past, and Ardelia’s chewing her out over it, like...?

“I would never have compromised you.” I’m sorry, that’s just a nasty, passive comment, and I hate it. :)

“Might be aliens!” Nod to the X-Files? LOL.

“I understand that one of you is a sociopath whisperer and one of you’s a sharpshooter” Clarice is ALSO a sharpshooter!!! WHEN IS THIS GOING TO BE SHOWN?!

And “sociopath whisperer”? she treated Hannibal like a fellow human being with dignity. that’s the secret.

Clarice’s Pinto!

they’re going to BALTIMORE. *waggles eyebrows*

missed opportunity for Clarice to mention that she’s been to Baltimore several times before in her “rattling death trap” (wink!)

yay for casual sexism.

please DO NOT expect me to feel bad for Krendler.

“so James Hoffa is in your crawlspace? He has the Lindbergh baby? That’s great news!” I laughed.

STOP MAKING KRENDLER A GOOD GUY.

behold: someone who might have actually lived in the early 90s!

iirc Ardelia dated somewhat regularly...so idk why she’s being characterized as this standoffish two episodes in a row.

lol, uh, do agents call each other “agent”?

“your friend Clarice, the Bureau decided to shine a light on her. Overnight she’s a star.” easy enough to see how a veteran agent who’s stuck might view Clarice’s situation like that...but that doesn’t make it true. the Bureau didn’t “shine a light” on Clarice--Jack Crawford used her as bait for one of the most notorious serial killers of all time. she almost got killed and recycled. her career never takes off (which I really hope these show-runners remember).

it finally hit me...since they can’t include Jack Crawford, Clarice’s “angel,” they must be trying to combine his character with Krendler’s?

and, uh...it doesn’t work.

“They didn’t do a favor when they threw you to the cannibal.” Hannibal reference!

and yay, some self-awareness from the writers re: all the stuff I just ranted about!

what time of day is it? everyone’s been wearing the same clothes all episode, but a trip to Baltimore from D.C. takes just under an hour one way.

she’s just pretty

Krendler’s excuse for treating Clarice the way he did is so comically stupid. spare us, dude.

but tbh this is the Krendler we should be seeing - shaming Clarice for doing the right thing.

the girls are fighting. :( and for no reason.

honestly...this conflict is so artificial and manufactured for cheap drama and god, I hate it so much.

Ardelia graduated as Academy Valedictorian!!! obviously both race and gender factor into her career path within the Bureau, but that is sure as heck “a leg up”! so why is she telling Clarice “opportunity’s like nothing to you”?!

not to belabor the point, but Clarice’s “opportunity” was to “wheedle a crazy man with come all over [her]” and then to almost die in another crazy man’s basement. no big.

“I love you, but who do you think you’re talking to?” no, Ardelia, who do YOU think you’re talking to???

Ardelia Mapp, ARDELIA FUCKING MAPP, just threatened to report her best fucking friend, goodBYE.

as @special-agent-pendragon​ pointed out, Ardelia knows something about how traumatized this version of Clarice is by what happened in Belvedere (that “opportunity” that made her a “star”). she knows Clarice has mandated therapy sessions, knows that she’s seen multiple men die in front of her in the past few DAYS. she maybe even knows about Clarice’s flashbacks/bad dreams. so knowing all that, it’s downright thoughtless and cruel of her to treat Clarice this way just because she’s angry and bitter.

me too, girl

I hate to see Ardelia get the short end of the bureaucratic stick, but maybe it’s a lesson about priorities that this OOC version of her needs to learn.

Krendler sacrificing himself to save his team...a lamb, if you will... surejan.jpg

their person of interest purchased a ticket to BUENOS AIRES.

“I graduated second in our class” no! she was valedictorian! is this show’s Achilles heel really going to be Ardelia Mapp?!

systemic racism is a theme worth highlighting just as much as the sexism that brings down Clarice’s career. I just hope they don’t throw Ardelia’s awesome character away to do it.

no one as brilliant as Ardelia should be surprised that the Good Old Boys were using her to get at Clarice. they just so happened to pluck her out of cold cases to investigate ViCAP, her best friend/Academy roommate’s team? why is she shocked???

I’m so mad. Ardelia is guilt-tripping Clarice, dumping all her anger and fears about the future on her, and for what? damn, our girls deserve better than this.

there have to be better ways to expound on the theme of racism than the heroine’s closest friend and confidante throwing her under the bus.

Clarice’s boss just called her out for going into a dangerous situation alone without informing anyone of her whereabouts. so what do the writers make her do? that exact same thing! except now she’s an agent with a team, not a trainee on her own. ugh.

and to wrap up by far the worst episode of the series to date, a cliffhanger! #Yikes.

I’m really disappointed. Last week’s episode was a little dull and less than impressive...but this? For all I’ve been complaining about the Clarice-is-traumatized subplot, that was somehow better than whatever this was. Plus, nothing I was critical of last week was addressed or fixed.

The Good: Some funny lines, a Hannibal reference (along with a Baltimore trip and a mention of Buenos Aires), and a couple of good allusions to the novels. Someone telling Clarice that it was wrong for the Bureau to throw her to “the cannibal” as a trainee. (She knows this, it’s just nice to hear it out loud.) Almost no trauma/flashback scenes, thank God. Clarice going for a run! Oh, and Rebecca Breeds is beautiful, as usual...though she, also as usual, doesn’t have much to actually do.

The Bad: Everything else. The Ardelia subplot made me genuinely upset. It’s not necessary for the show-runners to force a conflict between Clarice and Ardelia to get their messages across! Maybe people who haven’t read the books are eating this up, I don’t know. But to me it’s a total betrayal of their dynamic. The costumes are still boring and still not very 90s. There’s no character development. (Except for like...Krendler?) AG Martin and Catherine don’t exist in this episode, making everything from last week feel even more unfocused. They added a new deep state/big government type twist to the existing conspiracy subplot, which...why??

I just didn’t like it.

Clarice still needs better costumes. What she really needs is character development, though. The show-runners don’t think the movie had time to flesh Clarice out very well...but Jodie Foster was given more to do than look sad all the time! Rebecca has shined so far when she’s had the opportunity. Of course the show has to have a plot, but the heroine should also feel like a real person.

Sorry about all the negativity in this one. Hopefully, this is the worst episode of this show we’ll ever have to see and the Ardelia nonsense is resolved next week. I’ll take another week of boring costumes, etc., as they put the canon characters I love back en route to their proper arcs!

[smoljamswrites]

all is fair in love & war | bts x reader | chapter 4

pairing: bts x female reader

genre: mafia!au, series fic, angst, fluff, (eventual) smut

warnings for this chapter: abuse, fat levels of angst (but then there’s a fluffy part that’s then killed by more angst), swearing, degradation, mentions of stalking, y/n cries? is this a potential trigger, idk? 

a/n: just an fyi, incase it isn’t clear, the italics in paragraphs are thoughts. Plus, I apologise if this chapter seems a little jumpy in terms of moving from scene to scene - but it’s just so I could get the story to progress quicker, so I can get into the real meat of it. Oh and I probably butchered the Korean street name system thingy so if you could excuse that, that’d be great. Thanks for reading and supporting this fic! I love you all!!

fic playlist is here x

Clutching at your hair, Sunny roughly drags you into the living room. To say she was livid would be an understatement. The anger darkened her eyes, her eyebrows furrowed, and jaw clenched as she brought you to a stop – right in front of Yunseo and some of the other members. She had phoned them when you begged her to not to tell anyone about the guy in the car, declaring you had a “contact within the outside world��. They had sent a car to pick you both up at that moment, and her hands haven’t left your hair since – gripping onto it so hard, making your eyes water.

Yunseo sits directly in the middle of the leather sofa, his crew of Syndicates placed strategically around the room. They’re expecting me to run…interesting. You’re pushed down onto the floor, your knees harshly colliding with the solid laminate.

Before you even lift your head to meet his eyes, Yunseo has already began to raise his voice. “Who was the guy, Y/N?!” his voice was filled with hatred, fires of fury smouldering his narrowed eyes. You look down onto the floor, shaking your head, not saying a word. Why the fuck would I tell them Jungkook’s name? They’re gonna have to try a lot harder than this, you muse.

A sinister chuckle escapes past Yunseo’s lips, and it makes your stomach churn. You know it isn’t long until they start getting violent, but that isn’t going to make you cave. Not yet. “Listen, we can do this the easy way – you tell me his name, how you know him and what was said between you two – or we can do this the hard way” at that Yunseo rises from his seat and the other members follow suit to loom over you.

You’re on your knees, head lifted to meet eyes with your intimidators. Your eyes wander to Juwon, and you find yourself surprised he isn’t playing with your hair or finding another way to place his grimy hands on you. A smirk toys on his lips, liking the way you look through your eyelashes at him, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Sick fucking bastard! Your blood is boiling; you are sick and tired of being treated like this. Like you’re just a possession to them. Adrenalin hits you, and it makes you feel alive. Your heart is beating so fast, you feel as if it going to fly straight out of your chest. Standing up, you notice for the second time this week you are feeling yourself getting brave.

“No. Why don’t you fucking listen to me? Fuck you! I hate all of you! Why didn’t you just kill me, huh? Kill me! Go on, I dare you!” the adrenalin is flowing through your blood, and it feels like you can’t control your limbs, which is why it is such a surprise to you as much as it is to your ‘superiors’ when you lay your hands on Juwon. Putting all the force you could muster; you use both hands to push at his figure. Due to Juwon not expecting this, he falls back, rage evident on his face as soon as he reaches the ground. Within the same millisecond, your body is dragged back by somebody else, arms restricted, and you don’t even wince when Yunseo’s fists come flying towards your face. You don’t know whether it’s the surge of adrenalin or if its because you’re used to the pain by now, but you just feel numb to his actions. Each punch, to both your face and body, sends signals to your brain that makes it feel like your internal organs should be bursting – but yet you don’t seem to feel a thing. It’s like you’re unconscious, but you can see everything that is happening. All you can feel is your heart beating loudly in your ears, and it’s almost deafening.  

“Who the fuck was it, you dirty fucking slut?!” Yunseo’s spit flies at your face, amazingly faster than the blows.

It is at this moment, that your body realises what is happening. Your mind snaps back into reality and every hit sends a painful jolt through your body. Your face is soaked from the tears, and you’re screaming, finding it hard to hear your own screams over their harsh words. You need this done with, and you need it done with now.

“F-fine I’ll tell you! Just don’t hit me again, please!” you whimper out. The member who was propping up your body lets go, leaving your limp form to fall to the ground. You can hear snickers coming from around the room. They really think they’ve won, huh? Cute.

“I-I met him at ‘Angels’ and to be honest I don’t really know him. But for the past few days, he seemed really obsessed with me. When I saw h-him outside the shop, it creeped me out, I didn’t expect him to be there, and I lost my cool, I guess.” You begin, trying to simultaneously catch your breath, “I went up to his car and literally asked him why he was following me. And when he wouldn’t answer me, I called him a creep and left. That was when I saw Sunny there.”

They all hold the same look on their face – like they want to believe you but they’re not quite sure yet. Your throat feels on fire from all the screaming and crying, but you find it in you to continue, wanting to finish your web of lies perfectly, “I didn’t want to tell you because I see the way you hurt people, and he seemed like an ordinary guy, just too caught up in his own horny feelings and I didn’t want you to hurt him because of that. I guess I felt scared for him.”

The Sin Syndicate members all look towards their leader, awaiting their new order, and you do the same, praying that they believe your story. Yunseo scratches at his stubble on his jaw, seemingly deciding on his next step. He addresses the members first, not bothering to look in your direction, “We’ll keep an eye out for him – Sunny you know what he looks like right? Perfect.” And then he spares a glance at you, “As for you, get to bed, I don’t want to see you right now.”

Your legs shake and your whole body feels extremely sore. Clutching at your own waist, as if you were stopping your intestines from falling out, you drag yourself to your room. You flop down onto your bed, head pounding. Yet all you can think about is Jungkook’s safety – what will happen if they find him? God I shouldn’t even care about him, he’s a fucking stalker! But yet you still reach into your drawer fifteen minutes later to retrieve your phone, deciding on warning Jungkook.

Fuck. Your phone shows you that you have already had missed calls and many text messages from him. You move your thumb to press the correct button to get onto the messaging app, then instantly press again to pull up the conversation between you and Jungkook.

Jungkook: please don’t be mad! I can explain, I promise. It’s just not something that I can explain quickly x [19:26]

Jungkook: ‘You have missed calls from ‘Jungkook’ at 19:29 and 19:41. This is a free call alert.’

Jungkook: please don’t ignore me Y/N, it’s important that I know that you’re okay x [19:59]

Jungkook: ‘You have missed 3 calls from ‘Jungkook’. This is a free call alert’.

Jungkook: Just hear me out Y/N x [20:04]

You feel your heart fall to the pit of your stomach. You can tell Jungkook is worried about you and you hate that you made him concerned. But you still need to think about his actions, following you around is not okay. You have every right to feel mad. It’s because of him that you just got the beating of your lifetime!

You: I don’t understand how you’re eager to give me answers all of a sudden, when earlier you wouldn’t give them me!? What’s changed now? Finally worked out an excuse? [20:13]

He messages back relatively fast, which draws your mind back to feeling guilty for worrying him. Oh God! I still have to warn him!

Jungkook: I get that you’re mad but not replying for almost an hour after I last seen you isn’t funny! You had me so fucking worried! I literally thought the worst, okay! I thought something had happened to you. WTF?! As for the answers you want (and deserve) I will give them you, I promise. All you gotta do is meet with me because I need to explain things face to face, it’s easier. The situation is too complicated for me to rush the explanation or to type it out on text x [20:15]

Leaving isn’t a problem. It’s the making sure Jungkook remains safe and that he isn’t seen by any Sin Syndicate member that’s the issue.

You: I’d be happy to meet you so I could finally know wtf is going on, but I don’t know how I’m going to be able to. [20:16]

You know that you have to go; this could be your opportunity to explain to him that he needs to be careful – maybe you could explain to him the full situation…can you trust him with that?

You: Okay so I have an idea. But for it to work, you gotta be able to work with me or this could end terribly, trust me! (I’ll explain later!) Make sure you are by your phone all day tomorrow, if you can, and when I have the chance to meet you, I’ll message you to let you know. I don’t know what time it will be but it will definitely be tomorrow because I really need to tell you something too! [20:18]

Jungkook: deal. x [20:18]

Not wanting to be the cause of his fretting again, you ensure to message him one last time before turning your phone off and getting some well-deserved sleep.

You: Goodnight x [20:19]

--------------------------------------------------------

You haven’t been able to concentrate all morning. You haven’t got a performance on main stage today, but you still had to show up for work, especially with what had happened the night before. So you’ve been preoccupying yourself with speaking to clients and helping the waiters and waitresses. There is no way you’ll be practicing today, let alone performing for everyone. Currently, you’re sat at the bar, swirling your tiny umbrella around in your glass.

Getting yourself out of bed this morning was a nightmare. As soon as you sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed, it had sent an aching pain right through your entire being. Your head felt too heavy to carry from the offset, and all you wanted to do was to lie back down again. But you knew you couldn’t. If you wanted everything to go smoothly you knew you had to start moving.

You feel almost criminal – your phone being hidden in the fluffy slipper sock that your wearing, planning to sneak out for a while. The girls haven’t spoken to you yet, but they don’t miss the opportunity to send malicious glares in your direction. Not that you want them to speak to you; you know they hate you and the feeling is mutual. Just then someone places their hand on your back, and you jump at the feeling.

“Hey hey, what’s wrong? You’re all jumpy…is everything okay?” a familiar voice begins to calm your worries, and the way his comforting tone spills past his lips with ease sends a foreign sensation to your core. You move to meet his eyes, and a concerned look adorns his face.

“I’m fine Jin. Just got a lot on at the moment, I guess.” You decide to play it safe, considering you blurted out probably more than you should have done, the last time. But still, his evident worry doesn’t fade.

Taking a seat next to you at the bar, he ghosts his hand over yours- almost like he was deciding whether he should take your hand in his, but then chose against it. “Is there anything that I can help with?” You snap your head in his direction. Oh my god, what a fucking genius!

Your emotions must have shown on your face, because his brows drew together like he was wondering what you could be thinking about.  

“Yes! Woah okay so,” you begin turning your body and bringing your hands together in excitement. Your voice instantly lowers as you speak again, “I need to meet a, well uhm-, a friend. But the problem is, I can’t leave. It’s super important that I meet with him today, so maybe, if you could help me that would be amazing! I’m thinking that you could wait half an hour or so, then request a private dance from me? And that way then they’ll think I’m preoccupied elsewhere, meaning that I could leave? What do you think?”

“Yeah sure, I’d be happy to help.”

---------------------------------------

Making yourself look busy with other clients for the next 30 minutes was harder than you had anticipated. You struggled to focus on the conversations you were having with them, as your mind kept flitting back to your previous chat with Seokjin.

God he’s a lifesaver! I seriously owe him one.

After what seemed like centuries, Yunseo calls your name. Making your way to him, you tried to look as sheepishly as possible, knowing it’d be best to make this stunt look believable. “Y-yes sir?” Nice! Make him think you’re scared after yesterday.

He doesn’t bother to speak for long, evidently pissed at your antics this week, “A gentleman has offered me a pretty large sum of money to book two back-to-back private dance slots with you. I’d be an idiot not to accept, so you’ll be in there for an hour. Keep him happy.” And with that he’s gone. You have to look at the floor to prevent anyone watching from seeing the smile forming on your lips.

Entering the same private dance room as last time, you quickly shut the door and squeal as you make your way over to where Jin is sitting.

“You are currently my favourite person ever! You’ve given me a whole hour! You’re the best seriously!” You know you look like an idiot because you just can’t stop smiling. You pull out your phone from the side of your sock and begin to text Jungkook.

You: Hey, I’m okay to leave now, but I must be back before half one x [12:33]

Bringing your attention back onto Jin, a sudden realisation hits you. “Shit! You’re gonna have to hide for an hour while I’m gone!” The smile is instantly wiped off your face, as you prepare yourself for an annoyed Seokjin. Yet, he doesn’t appear annoyed at all.

Shaking his head and continuing to smile, he stands up, “I know. Don’t worry! If you wanted, I could drive you to wherever you needed to go to meet your friend?” he goofily shakes his car keys and you giggle.

------------------------------

Sitting in the passenger seat of his car, you are speechless. This dude must be earning the big bucks if this is his own fucking Chevrolet Corvette! The shutting of Jin’s door brings you back to reality, “So where are we going?”

Oh right, duh. Removing your phone from your sock once more, you turn on the screen to read Jungkook’s message and position it so Jin can see.

Jungkook: okie dokie, do you know where the café is on Myeongnyun-ro? It’s only a few minutes away from Angels x [12:35]

“ahh right then, lets go!”

-----------------------------

Getting out the car and thanking Jin, you make your way towards the café door. Instantly you start fretting as Jungkook is nowhere to be seen. Sitting down at a booth, you begin to text him, but you’re interrupted by the door in front of you opening, making the little bell above it ding!

Jungkook walks through the door and you swear to God you stop breathing for a second. Your eyes trace his tall, well-built figure; from his chocolatey tousled hair down to his two-toned, bulky shoes. When his eyes meet yours, they instantly light up, and he moves his hand; gesturing for you to come over. As you get closer, the more nervous you feel. You notice the way he bites his bottom lip, and starts wringing his hands together, and that made you relax. He was just as nervous as you were. Reaching his figure, you took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. Your mind wanders to the night that you met, and a goofy smile overtakes your features.

“Hey, what drink would you like?” he says, nerves still evident in the way he spoke.

“You’re sounding like Mr. Persistent Bartender again” you giggle, proud of the way he visibly loosens up at the sound of your joke.

Jungkook lets out a chuckle, as he rolls his shoulders back, “Shut up, lemme buy you a drink” he whines. His voice cuts straight through your heart, sending warmth through your body. Yet you can’t let him give you another drink for free.

“No no it’s fine! I’m not thirsty. Don’t spend your money.” You reach to grab his arm, as he moves in direction of the employee standing at the till.

All your efforts go to waste when he shakes his head at you, dismissing your previous comment, “Hey, I’ll take a coffee and… she’ll have a hot chocolate.” You pull on his arm like a child and tell him you’re fine, but this only spurs him on further. A smirk sits on his lips as he continues, “and can the hot chocolate have whipped cream and marshmallows too please?” He looks down at your unimpressed face, and he coos ruffling your hair. God, you’re going to be the death of him!

“Would you like sprinkles too?” you hear the barista ask, but you’re too late to reject the sprinkles as Jungkook has already beaten you too it. And of course he says yes.

“That’ll be £7.85 please. And I must say, you guys are such a cute couple!” the barista gushes and you feel heat rise to your face. You peer over to Jungkook and see him giving her the money with the biggest smile on his face.

“Thanks! Keep the change.” Grabbing both of the drinks, Jungkook walks back to the booth, with you trailing behind him, embarrassed. You slide in the seat opposite him and he pushes the hot chocolate towards you. Sarcastically rolling your eyes, you move the cup towards your mouth to take a sip. It tasted so heavenly; you swear you could have orgasmed. Lifting your eyes from the cup to look at Jungkook, you see he’s already looking at you – and he’s looking at you expectantly.

“….what?”

“You first.” The two words sends you into a frenzy, reminding you of why you’re actually here. Fidgeting in your seat slightly, you remove eye contact as you think about how to tell him. Okay so you’re gonna have to never ever speak to me again because I don’t want you to die. So, it’s been nice knowing you! Thanks for the hot chocolate.

You cough, ensuring your voice still works before lowering your voice, “Okay so what I’m about to tell you is really serious. I’m not joking or lying or whatever. I really need you to believe me, okay? I’ve lied to you – I don’t live at a stupid dorm, and I don’t go to college. In fact, the only proper schooling I have ever had was only for 2 years and it stopped when I was like 5. And from then, ‘til the age of 11 I was home schooled, if you could even call it that.” You realise you’re rambling, and you quickly decide to get to the point, “I live with these people. They’re not really nice and they hurt people and sometimes they hurt me,” You don’t notice as you’re not looking at him, but Jungkook tenses at this admission. “they don’t let me have proper contact with anyone. And um- they saw you speaking to me yesterday. Well, Sunny did, and she told the others, and I’m so fucking sorry but they’re looking for you now. And well, I need you to delete my number, stop talking to me, and forget about me forever just so I know that you’ll be safe-“

Your little speech is cut off by a giggle, and your eyes dart up, finally, to meet his. Why the fuck does he find this funny? Does he think I’m joking? Furrowing your eyebrows together, your whispering voice harshens, “Guk, I’m being serious here! I can’t believe-“

His voice is considerably loud compared to your quietened tone, “Y/N calm down, I’m pretty sure I can handle Syndicate” Jungkook finds your state of confusion very amusing, as he rests his head on his hand and smiles right at you.

Before you can interrogate him on how he knows Sin Syndicate, he cuts you off, “My turn yeah?” he moves his hand to take a hold of yours, “I’ve been following you since you came to our club because I’ve been worried. We all have. And by we, I mean…Bangtan. I’m sure you’ve heard of us…” his eyes search yours and all he sees in return is pure panic. “Please hear me out! We don’t want to hurt you, I promise. Bangtan doesn’t hurt innocent people – we protect the innocent. All through my training, I was told the chilling story of the young girl, who had to be kidnapped due to a slip up in the Syndicate’s System, tortured not just by the grief of losing her family, but by the men who held her captive. When the new generation of Bangtan took over 7 years ago, we vowed to find that girl, and keep her safe. And here you are. You don’t need to worry about me, yeah? Syndicate doesn’t know our true identities, and it’s gonna stay that way, right?”

Your heart is thumping so loud, you’re certain he can hear it, “…oh yeah. I won’t tell anyone, I promise” your voice is barely a whisper. You feel so fucking numb, it feels like you’re dreaming.

“So, do you have any questions?”

Do you? “Um, I don’t know, my mind’s a little blank at the moment. This is a lot to take in. Um- do you kill people then?”

He lets out a breath, and gently moves his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours, “not in the way Syndicate does. Syndicate will kill anything that breathes, just to make a point. We kill people that are like Sin Syndicate. Does this make sense?” he looks up from your hands to meet your gaze, and you quickly nod, “The best person to have explain to you all the technical stuff is our leader Namjoon.”

Now it’s your turn to divert your gaze again, as you ask a question you really don’t want the answer too, “ahh, so you all have roles then?”

“Yeah.” Gulp. ”I’m Bangtan’s assassin.”

You immediately tense. Assassin? Like the one in charge of killing people? Like the guy who murdered my family? No way. I can’t do this.

“Y/N-“

You flinch at the sound of his voice, standing up and instantly ripping your hand away from his. You feel sick to your stomach. “I gotta go, they’ll be wondering where I am” you say quickly, trying to blink back the tears that were starting to form. And just like that you exit the café and leave Jungkook behind, wondering what on earth he’s just done.

---------------------------------------

You enter through one of the fire exits at the back of the club and head straight for the toilets. Running into a cubicle, you quickly lock the door behind you and sit on the closed seat. The tears that you had held back were now escaping, causing sobs to rush past your lips. With your head in your hands, tears drip through your fingers, onto the tiles below. Your breathing hitched as you hear his confession again.

‘I’m Bangtan’s assassin.’

Thud! Thud! Thud! You’re interrupted by a banging on the stall door.

“Y/N is that you?” the voice called, and you recognise it to be Grace’s.

“..yeah..”

A breathy laugh sounds out into the room, “good! We thought you did a runner!”

You stay in the cubicle for a while longer – only coming out when you know Grace has left. Letting the door swing behind you, you head straight to the sink to wash your face.

------------------------------

Meanwhile, Jungkook is walking aimlessly around the city. Filled to the brim with rage and self-loath, he is wandering various streets, the only company he has is his thoughts.

Why the fuck did I tell her that I’m an assassin? I’ve fucked everything up. Now what’s she gonna do, huh? She could snitch on us all, which is unlikely but not impossible. Or she could cut contact with me. Either way, the guys are gonna be pissed. Oh god, what if she got caught heading back? What if they’re beating her right now? I swear to God if I find-

“OI!” someone yells from behind him, making him instantly turn to find out who’s shouting. Two guys and one girl stalk towards him – is that the Sunny girl?  They head straight towards him, but Jungkook’s never been one to back down from a fight.

“Yep, that’s him boys. Get him!” Sunny remains in her spot, about 3 metres away from Jungkook. She crosses her arms as she watches the drama unfold.

The two men lunge for Jungkook, but it’s him that gets the first punch. Hitting one of them, they stumble back, whilst the other slams Jungkook, head first, into some near by shutters. Punching the man in the gut, Jungkook gets his own back; but it’s not long until the duo gets the upper hand. Jungkook is left in a bad shape, as he slides down the shutters. The 3 Syndicates laugh menacingly as they leave – unaware of who they’ve just laid their hands on.

Pulling his phone out from his pocket, he quickly dials the number he was searching for.

“Hyung...?”

next chapter update: Wednesday 19th February 2020 9pm gmt

tagging: @dearlydreadful​ @honeydewseoks​ @whimsicalwoodlands​ @toddsgirl27​ @wendyiiwl​ @asifetch7​ @barbyisafangirl​ @miraculyfe​ @btsxdoll​ @laluzdirectioner​ @slutkoo​ @bubbletae7​ @h5naaa​ @smollmonajinsa​ @vivpurple7​ @purplelady85​ @vi-hoshi​ 

let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters!

Thank you so much for reading

all rights reserved © smoljamswrites | 09/02/2020 | reposting my work or modifying of any kind is strictly not allowed. Translations are also not allowed. 

[nofliight]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: stole it from @sternenteile​ and honestly others tbh tagging: TAKE

my muse is:  canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ for better or for worse, he’s THE face of kid icarus, after all. he’s a dork and funny and likeable and even if the fandom tends to get him WRONG (thanks smash bros) there’s no denying his popularity ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i don’t??? think so??? most people are too busy talking about how they think he’s like 5 ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ EVEN THE FANDOM AIN’T GONNA MESS THIS UP. MAN FIGHTS GODS. CALL THAT WEAK. ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ make no mistake - pit’s got fans and plenty of them but he’s so MISTREATED by the fandom. his character is a lot more complex than he gets credit for and smash bros in particular is a big reason people think he’s just Big Dumb Baby Man ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. [ HE’S THE MAIN CHARACTER, THE CENTRAL FIGURE UPON WHOM THE NARRATIVE IS STRUCTURED AROUND, YEAH HE’S PRETTY RELEVANT. Uprising is literally made to tell the story of a war exclusively through the perspective of a single side and Pit (and Palutena) are the EMBODIMENT of that whole side. ]

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ and a perfect one at that. he’s literally a perfect protagonist don’t tell me i’m wrong cause i’m not ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ pit is beloved by humans... and mocked by the Gods. seen by most as a spineless extension of palutena’s will, most “respect” of any variety goes to palutena while he gets treated as a joke 99% of the time... and it’s not like Palutena gets too much respect either ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (????) [ Uhhhhhh... it’s an odd one. Short answer is that Pit’s a good samaritan who’s done a lot of good BUT most of the gods think protecting humanity is a Folly and a Joke and that Pit’s just a pawn of Palutena’s and while the humans do hold a lot of respect for him, uh............. let’s just say, some humans on the surface have reasons not to be too happy with him. ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  about as much as I need to to respect one of my favorite video games of all time. while kid icarus uprising is a comedic game most of the way through it has a lot more nuance and depth to itself, its world, and its characters than one can see at first glance, even after a full playthrough. if you let yourself get invested in the characters, take a closer look at the dialogue it provides, and acknowledge the central, core storytelling message of the game for what it is, there’s a lot more to pull out than one would think. that being said, it’s still a comedic video game and one that I think could use some more expansion. though the game is inconsistent there seems to be the consensus that pit is like a child and I’m not into that, mine’s a bit more showing in his cynical and snarky side after all he’s been through and overall there’s a lot of expansion on the base while building it into something unique.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  imagine your typical bootstrapped anime protagonist. someone who, when younger, was a runt who couldn’t meet the expectations of others, was looked down on, and found himself crushed and hurt and near-killed by a great tragedy that he was forced to claw his way out of to make himself stronger. Now imagine all of that with a character who comes out still able to have a very real smile and ultimately comes out of it a self-assured, chipper goofball with a good heart. now put that together with all of the darkness and depth you would have expected to be there, but scattered realistically throughout the attitude of someone who does genuinely want to keep a positive attitude. someone who is sincerely an optimist who’s grown past his weaker days, but isn’t quite so simple as he’d like to believe. all of that combined with someone who can’t read, is willing to eat ice cream off the floor in times of duress, is extremely easy to fluster and can channel his goddess’ power to slay GODS? you got one strong man.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  his positive attitude is what most people will see when speaking to him, because for what it’s worth, he’s not actively lying about his depth. he’s a cheerful, jovial man with a big smile and a love of the world around him - which is all well and good, but his depth is something you have to find, even if it is reasonably clear if you’re willing to look. he’s also portrayed as a bit unreasonably dumb at times, and though I personally justify the worst of it with proper explanations, I can understand reducing some of the value of the character in favor of seeing all of his Jokes

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  i made my original pit blog, flightlesswarrior, on a total whim after playing kid icarus uprising. cute character, fun premise, why not? but over time, and with numerous plots I was able to take part in exploring the serious, not so serious, shipping, tragedy, and going back through the game to keep my muse rolling, it occurred to me more and more with time just how nuanced and interesting pit and co. really are. pit embodies many of the things i really, truly love in a protag, falling firmly on the side of good, having a heart of genuine gold, and having nuances and parts of his personality that are less than savory without making him seem like a contradiction. he’s got depth, he’s got story, there’s a lot to explore and flesh out... and he’s also just a nice, friendly guy who gets along well with others. plus, i’m drawn to dorks.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  a) love for Kid Icarus: Uprising. a game that helped me gain a deeper and more insightful understanding of character development, subtle storytelling, optimism still tinged with legitimate and healthy cynicism, and overall something that changed my understanding of character development and storytelling forever. and b) spite. the fandom treats him like an idiot baby and smash DOES NOT help matters so i have to remind others that he is a veteran of a war, a socially inept loser with few real friends, and someone who’s kindness and optimism was shaped and molded by its hardships in a way that doesn’t require a near-breaking point or a reminder that “this guy could be evil you know” to show how someone can still keep a positive attitude in spite of all the shit life throws at him.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO [ i’d like to think i have?? but i also acknowledge that he’s become something of his Own in some ways that do intentionally diverge from sakurai’s intentions. ultimately though, even though i may not play him completely true to text, i try to be as loyal as i can be to the spirit of the character. ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ when i can!! but??? the problem is my mind really, really likes to reiterate the Same Damn Points i have to make with characters that draws me to them - and you know, writing the same hcs over and over is generally considered poor form?? ngl i also prefer to let the writing do the talking unless it’s something that’s not gonna show so 90% of the time pit’s open enough that all but the darker sides of his mind are lain out before you. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ maybe??? once or tWICE???? but i need to write more ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ I REALLY DO, HOO MAMA. i have a lot of thoughts about him, his depth, potential relationships, goofy thoughts, more serious fanfic ideas im never gonna write and don’t get me started on how many SHIPS i have to think about for him ]

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO [ my portrayal is made out of spite for portrayals in the fandom and some supplementary material that gets him wrong - it’s kinda hard to do that without the confidence ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / ??? [ it’s uhh........ complicated??? i don’t think writing is my expertise, tbh. but it is the best way i have to show the passion i have for characters, by putting their nuances into actions, by allowing them to shine from who they are their core, by exploring relationships and scenarios and struggles and hope and everything that can flesh a character out. whether or not i’m a good writer is something i’m still sorting out - but i’m proud of my ability to develop a character, and to that end i feel like i’m doing fine ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ on one hand......... very. i have a tendency to overthink everything i do and look back at moments i made an ass of myself that keep haunting me throughout my day - they haunt me. i only have two fears: what my immediate friend group thinks of me and the crushing existential weight of worrying one day i’m gonna ruin everything i am SOFT. that being said, i’m also hardheaded and stubborn and i’m not afraid to go off on someone i don’t have much respect for if it comes down to it. i’m easy to anger when it comes down to it you know i guess that proves the point huh i’m not stonefaced at all ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  i try to? it’s a bit touchy for me I admit just because I do take portrayals and try to make them my own, but i am willing to listen if someone has any points they’d like to make that i haven’t acknowledged properly. if criticism IS had, lemme know, i do wanna hear it!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —   Y  E  S

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  not that everyone who disagrees with my opinions has to explain themselves of course, but i do sincerely like the chance to learn if something i’m doing doesn’t quite feel right. even if it’s one-sided and i’ll come to disagree, i’m happy to listen! even if i don’t agree with the disagreement head-on, i like to keep them in mind and see what i can shift around to acknowledge them if necessary

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — neutral?? i mean don’t be mean about it, but if you just think my pit doesn’t seem right or it doesn’t click right with your muse i’m not gonna throw a fit about it. everyone’s allowed to view a character in their own way - and even if i may get salty about those who oversimplify him, it IS anyone’s right to view him how they will.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  — agree to disagree tbh. i can’t pretend it wouldn’t disappoint me, but it’s not like, worth ending a friendship over or anything. everyone’s got their own viewpoints to run on

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  sure, within reason! i take pride in my grammar but i know that with my fast typing and often running on only a few hours of sleep some problems do slip in through the cracks. while i generally either catch them or just Die with them i’m all ears if i mess up

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  uhhhhhhhhhh well i’m?? kind of a socially anxious mess honestly which DOES make being easy going a bit difficult BUT i do try and be friendly and sociable as i....... can. i’m too scared to talk to people and CAN say some dumb things but i’m not a hardass or anything!! i like to talk and Yell and shitpost and pretty much do anything but write tbh DHFLKSJDF

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Directory’s Commentary- Love for You, Keith and Lance talk in the car

You know the drill :)

A while later, Keith came back and shut the console off mid-game. Keep in mind that by now, Keith has been sitting with the information that Lance had a panic attack AND never told him for a while. After everything else and trying to do better, he’s annoyed as hell now and hence... no patience. “What the hell?” Lance snapped. He wasn’t so much angry that he’d been playing, but the fact that Keith had hardly talked to him since he got back and simply decided to disconnect the game instead of asking Lance to pause it. “What was that for?” 

“We need to talk.” Lance stared at him, and Keith gestured to the door. “Outside. The last thing I need is for the kids to wake up.” And also, he wants to stop fighting in front of them, because the last time they argued inside, Violet got really upset if I recall correctly. It’s an attempt to shield them from arguments. 

Lance scoffed and got up to follow him outside. They got into Keith’s car and stared at the front of their house for a while. “What the hell happened?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been getting panic attacks in the middle of the day?” Keith asked in a flat voice. Y’all ever realize how when someone is pissed, it’s scarier for their voice to be all calm and quiet as opposed to loud and angry? Yeah. Keith is now at quiet voice anger. Lance frowned, unsure of what he meant. “Why didn’t you tell me… you can’t handle watching the boys?” He only got Violet’s understanding of it, so to Keith, it’s like Lance couldn’t handle the boys on his own because of the trauma, which he feels Lance should’ve told him. Lance meanwhile takes this as a jab at his parenting. Keith finally turned to look at him, his face bathed in moonlight. “Why do I have to hear it from my concerned, eleven-year-old daughter?” Then what upsets Keith is that Violet got subjected to seeing it and dealing with the worry on her own for Keith’s sake. There’s things younger children should have to do or feel obligated to do, and Keith- having never gotten a decent childhood- doesn’t want his daughter sacrificing any bit of childhood for them. Plus what he says later-

Lance clenched his jaw and ran a hand through his hair. “I can handle taking care of my sons,” he muttered. “And she’s my daughter too. The whole “My eleven year old.... etc” felt like another jab. Like he wasn’t part of it or something. And granted, because Keith had them, he has this extra sense of protectiveness, which isn’t to say he loves them more than Lance or anything, but y’know for Lance it’s like... what I didn’t have them so I’m not part of this conversation? It feels territorial which isn’t fair because they’re his kids too. What did she tell you?” Lance just wants to know what he needs to clear up, but of course to Keith it’s like wjhkadsjfakfj WHAT DO YOU MEAN just tell me what the fuck happened like you should’ve WHEN it happened!!!

“Why don’t you tell me?” Keith snapped.

Lance looked over at him and glared. “I freaked out for a second, okay? It happened once; it doesn’t mean I can’t handle my kids. Violet freaked a little, but I was fine-”

“You told her not to tell me!” Keith yelled. THIS is a big yikes. From personal experience, there is ALWAYS a sense of guilt and confusion and fear when a parent tells you to keep something secret from the other. Lance had NO malicious intentions, but it’s still heavy for a kid, and once Keith found out it just felt.... well like being lied to and roping their kid into it. 

“Because you don’t listen!” Lance yelled back. Lance does feel justified because he DID want to tell Keith himself, but Keith never opened a space for him to talk. So now they’re both just pointing fingers at each other. “Because no matter how many times I tell you I can’t sleep or I don’t want to, it just seems so easy to you. Just send me to sleep every time I get a little frustrated, because you’re not the one with the fucking nightmares!”

“They would go away if you-”

“No they won’t!” Lance shouted, hitting the dashboard. “Fuck. Keith, come on. I don’t want a fucking psychologist because I know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m traumatized, I know that…. Talking about this shit with someone isn’t going to make the nightmares stop. I don’t want to be given medication meant to numb my brain until I sleep. These aren’t stopping until I make it past the fucking cycle. What I want is to be comforted by my husband, to be with my family, not have my brain picked at by a stranger telling me I’ll be okay!”Per usual, I really want both sides to make sense and be justified. I need Keith’s side of “you should have told me, why did you hide this AND tell Violet not to tell me” to be valid and I need Lance’s pain and anger of everything he just said to make sense too. And what makes them clash is the lack of communication and the different stages they’re in. Keith is expecting Lance to be able to just act on the problems and work for a solution and tell him things, but Lance needs him there giving him a space to safely tell him what he’s going through and give him the comfort he needs at a pace. Keith isn’t giving Lance a chance to say what he needs, but Lance also isn’t bringing it to Keith’s attention and he’s putting on a face so Keith doesn’t realize what he needs. As you can see it starts to go in circles. And right now that he IS telling Keith, it’s like.... Keith is in a very angry and frustrated state now and he’s taking Lance’s tone and words as an accusation. Like he’s not a good enough partner or parent rather than a cry for help.

“What happens if the next time you panic, you hurt Charlie or Oliver?” Keith said in a quiet voice. “What, I’m supposed to come home and shrug and say it’s fine because you’re having a hard time?” Another fair point. Things could have gotten really bad if Violet hadn’t arrived, and it’s a valid concern. Keith as a parent definitely prioritizes the kids over anything, so while he’s now aware of what Lance says, he’s also pointing out that by not telling him before, the kids could’ve been in danger in some way because of a PTSD episode. 

“I’m not going to hurt them.”

“You don’t know that.” Keith sniffed and ran his hands through his hair. “God, Lance. You think you’re the only one traumatized? I was in the war with you. I jump when I hear certain ringtones and alarms because they sound like the sirens in the Castle. I have to stop and breathe when the construction workers next door are a little too loud demolishing shit because it sounds like the blasters. I’m there with you. Keith’s trying to say “we’re in this together” but with how upset he is, it’s not coming across. But he’s also trying to remind Lance that he’s not weak or dumb for struggling, that he is too. Because Keith thinks that shame is part of why he won’t say anything. I get nightmares too. But you’re…. You’re losing sleep. You’re having these panic attacks and flashbacks in the middle of the day when you’re alone with the kids-” The argument was STARTING to de-escalate here, or at least Keith was trying to reel it back and take on a more comforting approach, but again, to Lance it just sounded like Keith was blaming him. For not handling it, for struggling too much with PTSD in comparison, for bad parenting, etc. 

“Maybe if you stayed home I wouldn’t be alone.” Then this happened.

The change in Keith’s face was immediate, and it made Lance’s stomach churn. He knows Keith’s expressions by now. He knows that this means anger there’s no coming back from tonight. “Goddammit. This again?” he hissed.

“I-I know you want to provide for us, Keith, but…. God, I don’t care about how much money we have or how many luxuries we can afford. I just want you here with us like you’ve been this week-”

“You’re the one always talking about giving the kids more than what we had!” Keith exclaimed. “For fuck’s sake make up your mind! It is a lot of back and forth with of them, isn’t it? I don’t like being home all day, Lance, I need to be doing something. So.... The “I don’t like being home” came across in the worst way for Lance. To Lance, this was “I don’t like being home with you. I don’t like our home. I need to be away from the house, from you.” But Keith meant it in the sense that... he can’t be still. He can’t be stagnant. He has to be doing something besides trying to figure out how to pass the days, especially when Violet’s at school. While Lance enjoys being home with the kids and figuring out games and knows how to pass the hours, Keith just can’t. Sit still. Working gives me a routine, and it gives me the chance to give the kids things they need and things they want. And even then we’re still barely making it because we spend on so many pointless things-” I just hear this from so many adults in my life. They’re always working for more money, and when they have it they get so excited they spend it all, and then it’s a struggle with no money again and over and over. 

“Alright! Whatever. You’ll go right back to work Monday and it’ll be the same as ever,” Lance muttered. In my head, the underlying message in that sentence was “Shut up, soon you’ll go back to work and none of this will matter because you won’t have to deal with it.” “The nightmares will stop soon. We’ll just go right back to normal.” Normal for Lance is... well, the routine. But as mentioned before during the sleepover, normal isn’t okay for Keith anymore. It’s scaring him. So he stays quiet.

Keith didn’t say anything to that. Lance wasn’t sure if he expected him to. But he knew what he didn’t expect was for Keith to get out of the car and leave him alone. The silence says a lot. But leaving I think says more. I can’t even put into words the emotion or the intent or the unspoken words I wanted here. I think that sense of someone just walking out on you says a lot and I hope that it causes the emotion I wanted. I just know my heart falls to my stomach at the concept of Keith leaving Lance alone, and Idk. It’s something I can’t fully express in words, so I left it as an action. Lance stared at the dash for a moment, feeling sick to his stomach. Then he got out of the car, manually locking it before he went back into the house.

[bugaboowritings]

When Chloe Knows, She Knows - Ladybug Reveal Fic

Chloe is done with this Superhero Drama

What happens if Chloe finds out who Ladybug is? Will she gush about her idol or cry in the corner? idk, you will just have to read to find out- inspired by a post I saw a while back- i just have to find it again

It has been some years since she properly received the bee miraculous from Ladybug and Chat Noir. Earning the title as ally, superhero, and friend from her beloved idol. Calling herself “Queen Bee” as she watching Paris with a view that her suite or her parent’s money couldn’t match. Called on when needed and not afraid to head in battle. No. Matter. What. 

Now Chloé faced another battle. Not with an Akuma with horrible fashion sense or a villain knocking on her door for revenge. She wasn’t even wearing her iconic yellow and black mask or had her miraculous tucked safely in her hair but she sure had the venom in her. Not helping how her hands naturally curled into fists as she stomped through the hallways. Aggressively walking by housekeeping while they quickly pulled their cart out of Chloé’s way. 

 Her eyes narrowing while the conclusion boiled in her mind. 

Marinette Dupain Cheng is Ladybug. 

Ladybug, her idol, her hero, her role-model could have been ANYONE in Paris. Anyone. Ladybug managed to be the most clumsy, scrabble brained, fashion no-no designer girl in her class. 

Marinette Dupain Cheng. 

Chloé’s ears were steaming at this point, Punching her suite code in the elevator to take her to her room. Counting the seconds, clicking her heel, picking her manicured nails as the number slowly rise. Noticing how the elevator music was more irritating than normal. 

It’s when she tossed her door closed when she shrieked. It wasn’t a scream, but a loud curse on how frustrating everything just had to be for her. The burden on her ankle relieved when she flicked her shoes off. Letting her rage melt in her actions as she did everything more forcibly. Tossing her bag to her fresh-pressed bed. Wrinkling it more as she dropped herself on the edge of her king-sized bed. Standing right back up the moment she sat down. Rocking back and forward on her feet before daring to sit back down. 

She has to tell someone. Or just do something about this! 

How can Chloé Bourgeois keep this to herself? Involuntary stretching back for her phone. Her time on the Ladyblog made her want to post about her finding. She would never say it to that blogger’s face, but she couldn’t stop herself from reading those theories on who was behind the mask. Taking bits and pieces from them to form her own idea on what Ladybug, the hero of Paris, really was. Chloé’s inner fangirl could just explode. How can anyone keep such a big secret, like knowing a superhero, to themselves? Chloé felt the power of her words as she swiped her phone to her bookmarks. The high of her discovery finally kicked in. She knew Ladybug. 

Not like a fan, but as a person. Not only from being saved and recused but working along with her- but she knew Ladybug. Ladybug knew who she is. 

Like a wave of iced water, Chloé felt the cold truth run through her. Washing her as she felt another change of emotions coming in. She knows Ladybug.

It’s impossible. 

Ladybug was the girl that ate her lunch alone for years, by choice or not. Ladybug is someone that made a habit of bringing a drink and pastry to anyone on their birthday or if they were having a rough day (Chloé found it irritating, but looking back as Ladybug’s doing, it was admirable). Ladybug is someone that would plug her earbuds in and just draw. Ladybug often went to the art studio in school, away from anyone.  Ladybug is the girl in her class that never spoke back till the suit came along and she made friends. She bullied Ladybug. 

“Fuck me,” Chloé cursed. She bullied Ladybug. She bullied Marinette Dupain Cheng for years. SHE BULLIED HER FOR YEARS. Yeah. Wait, this is fine. They were in good terms now. Maybe not friends, but frenemies was still good. Plus, that was years ago. Chloé sat up as she justified that everything was now fine. 

“MY GOD!!!” Throwing herself back when she took it back. Everything is not fine. NOT NOW. Not. Ever. 

Reaching for a pillow above her to scream into it.  Everything was not definitely okay and would never be the same. No matter how much Chloé forced herself to believe it. 

--

The signs were there, she just never had the chance to read them. From the first day they met to now, Chloé always noticed something weird with Marinette. In the beginning, it was how she could look out the window and smile to herself. The second was how she didn’t have to do much to get people to like her. She became a class treasure in seconds. Often being too shy to speak out for herself as Chloé bugged her. Sometimes the girls in the class would call Chloé out for her cruelty. Only to fall back as Chloé pulled another threat at them. That was four years ago and Chloé can safely say that she changed dramatically since lycée. 

She did still have her sarcastic comments but she wasn’t throwing the dirt on her shoes like she ruthlessly did before. Being Queen Bee made her have a sense of duty to the people. Ladybug made her feel that she had to protect them. Putting their safety over her’s. Yeah, she was still stubborn but she did what she was told. She did her part.

Remembering the words of her idol as if they were fresh memory. 

“Queen Bee, you’re at a disadvantage now.” The red and black heroine explained one chilly night. Recovering the bee miraculous after a long day of fighting a tough Akuma. 

“People know your face.” LB softly whispered. Chloé remembers how she avoided not meeting her blue eyes. Tracing the pattern of the floor to distract herself. How scared she was as she waited to hear Ladybug said she could never trust her with Pollen again or how she would never again help-

“People know who you are, Chloé.” 

Chloé broke her neck with that. Gaping at Ladybug for saying her name when she was still in the suit. She was the only one on the Miraculous Team to call her by her alter ego at times. So to hear her name from her like that struck her the wrong way. Yeah, they were at her room’s patio, away from prying eyes and ears. However, to hear Ladybug say her name when she wasn’t even de-transformed made one fact clear. 

Even under all this spandex and magic. She was still Chloé Bourgeois The most hated girl and selfish girl in Paris. 

“Ladybug, I-”

“Hawkmoth will now target you. You will be in danger even without being Queen Bee.” Ladybug warned. Her blue eyes narrowing at hers to make sure she got the message. Chloé gave a soft ‘yeah, I know’. 

“Let that be your superpower.” 

“My what?” 

“You heard me. Let that be your strength rather than your weakness.” 

“I don’t think I’m following.” 

Ladybug sighed, biting her lips in deep thought. Looking off in the distance as she squatted down on the railing. Relaxing her legs as she pushed them out from under her. Her legs hanging out like a child’s. 

“You are the mayor’s daughter, right?” Chloé nodded to that. “Then you have the influence to make Paris stronger. Making Paris safer for innocent people. You can do that and so much more, by being you.” 

Chloé couldn’t help but roll her eyes at that. “Pollen, buzz off.” Yellow light swarming around her. Taking the curls out from her hair and peeling off the unbreakable suit. Returning her back to her warm pj’s and her over-sized coat. One that did a great job at stopping the cold from touching her skin but not the chill of LB’s words. 

“Ha,” Chloé scoffed. Shoving her fingers in her pockets as Pollen snuggled up to her collar, trying to stay warm as the winds picked up. 

“You have too much faith in me, LB. Really.” The blonde cautioned. 

Ladybug couldn’t stop the chuckle from slipping her lips.“Sounds more like you don’t have faith in yourself.” Ladybug looped her fingers on her yo-yo string. “Trust me, I know what that feels.” 

Before Chloé could yell at her for being utterly ridiculous, Ladybug opened her mouth again, “You’re just holding yourself back. Whether you see it now or don’t.” Reaching for the bee miraculous before Chloe could think of something to say back.

“Think about it, Chloe.” and like the swift wind that itches Chloé’s nose, Ladybug was gone. 

------

From scrolling through the Ladyblog and comparing every picture to Marinette’s Instagram, Chloé saw the similarities. Nevertheless, the truth hasn’t really mellowed in her head. Even after the next day, even after watching Marinette rush pass her as she mumbled that she was so late under her breath. Even when she saw Ladybug jump in front of her and others by blocking the car that came flying their way. Chloé watched Marinette bit her tongue as she scribbled down her answers for their science quiz. Chloé watched it happen again as Ladybug bit her tongue when Chat Noir asked for her opinion on the Akuma that was beating the ground in anger. 

“It just can’t be her,” Chloé groaned. Ignoring Sabrina’s questions while she banged her head on her desk. Now to stop when the class became too quiet for a free period. Peeling her face from her desk, Chloé saw everyone’s attention to the windows. The sunny day was ruined as dark clouds blocked the blue sky. Like clockwork, an alert rang through the school. Confirming that it’s an Akuma. Ms. Bustier pacified the class, quicking leading them out and to the school’s “Akuma-Safe” area. Chloé followed the class like she learned in the practice drills. Taking back when she noticed something in the corner of her eye. 

“Marinette.” She called out. Watching as the hero stopped her tracks, ready to spit out an excuse before Chloé beat her. 

“Be careful, okay?” 

Marinette dropped her confused expression. Giving her a nod before running off. 

At that moment, the doubt in her stomach disappeared. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is Ladybug. The savior of Paris. Of course, she could handle this. 

Chloé then quickly rushed to the rest of her class before noticing a blond rush to a supply closet. Then promptly popped out another hero with black leather and green eyes. 

“You got to be kidding me.”

------

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 20

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- nothing really happened in this either? but he’s really thinking tho? next chapter more stuff will happen i promise :) idk when itll be posted because i work the next 4 days but ill try to take some time to work on it.

- thank you so so so so much for everyone who reads this and especially those who comment. honestly it means so much, you guys make me smile. you make me want to update more and faster. so thank you. thank you so so much <33

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 20 : His chapter

NIALL

When Olivia left, I waited for Maya to show up. I decided to invite her home but as I was waiting for her, I changed my mind and decided that maybe it was a mistake. I didn't want to give her the wrong impression and I also didn't want to be stuck with her. It was too late though and the more I thought about what she had done, the angrier I was getting. When the doorbell rang, I literally jumped off my couch and ran to the door.

There she was, on my porch, with a large smile gracing her lips, and it made me realize I would literally have to break her heart. I breathed in and sent her a polite smile before moving out of her way.

"Come in." I simply said as she walked inside.

Her eyes lingered on all the bags still laying in the lobby and I noticed she frowned but I just closed the door and walked past her to reach the living room. I moved my hand to show her the couch and I waited until she was sitting down to take a seat on an other couch but still close to her. We remained silent for a few minutes and I looked at her as her eyes roamed around the room.

"Where is she?" she asked without looking at me.

"Who?" I frowned.

"Olivia."

I felt surprised that she asked but I didn't know what to answer. Was that a question I was required to answer?  I shook my head slightly but she finally turned back to look at me, sending me a weird look. She looked a mix of pissed and hurt and I was not sure I really understood her reaction until she talked again.

"Before we left, you told me you wanted to be alone." she added, explaining her question. "But her stuff is in the lobby. Why did you lie to me, Niall?"

I was flabbergasted by her reaction and at the same time, I was getting pissed. I didn't understand exactly what gave her the right to act possessively with me but I was clearly beyond annoyed.

"That's why I asked you to come here."

"So you're breaking up with me? For her?"

I made a grimace and shook my head.

"Wait, what?"

i didn't understand how she came up to that conclusion and I frowned more, trying to remember the conversations we had had in the past few days. I didn't remember that seeing a girl would bring all of these problems but I knew it did. It reminded me most of the girls I used to date before and how hard it was every single time because of the friendship I had with Olivia. I used to get so many questions, get into so many arguments... I knew it would be different if my best friend was a guy but that fact that she was a girl made all of my relationships so fucking complicated.  The only exceptions were girls like Heidi, who didn't see any competition when they looked at my best friend. Perhaps that was why she was the only one I still had something going on with.

"You said you didn't feel like hanging out, yet you're hanging out with her." she repeated. "She's not only your best friend, right? She's not really dating Harry?"

I took a big breath and brought my hands to my face before rubbing my eyes. I was so tired of people expecting Liv and I to be in love, so tired to have everyone telling me how I supposedly feel, so fucking tired to argue and fight about it... I was not in the mood to repeat over and over again that we were just friends and that it wasn't anyone's place to decide for us what our relationship consisted of. Plus, I was already mad at Maya for that stupid picture she posted online and that was the only thing I wanted to address at this moment.

"I am not dating Liv, she's my best friend. You know that."

"Yea, I know that the first time we almost had sex, you left when I was half naked to go take care of her. I know that you and her are close, maybe even too close, for friends. And I know that earlier you told me you didn't want to be around people yet you invited her here."

The memory of that time, a few months ago, when we almost fucked, came back to my mind. I swallowed hard at how wrong it sounded the way she just explained it and I knew I should feel guilty but I didn't. I was fine with leaving her there and yes, maybe I had just changed my mind about wanting to have sex with her but everyone makes mistakes, right? At that moment, leaving seemed like the best solution and I couldn't pretend that running away didn’t seem like a great solution to escape this ridiculous discussion, too.

"I didn't ask you to come here to talk about Olivia!"

"I don't care, Niall, I came here to make love, but clearly now i'm not in the mood anymore."

She inhaled angrily and got up, making me do the same quickly.

"I didn't invite you here to fuck, Maya!" I let out a bit too loud. "I asked you to come here about this!"

Roughly, I brought my phone closer to her face where the picture of us was posted. Her gaze moved from mine and down to the screen of my phone before her face softened slightly, turning into a guilty look.

"I thought we were dating." she explained so low I barely heard.

Her words made me even angrier than I already was and I swallowed hard all the rude words I wanted to tell her. I was not an angry person normally but in the past few days, it seemed like everything annoyed me and I became way more impulsive than my personality normally shows.

"You know damn well we're not dating, Maya." I let out in a lower tone, trying not to sound too mad. "I said I wanted to try. I said we'd start with a date."

"We kissed, too. And held hands... I thought-"

"I know." I cut her quickly, watching her facial expression turn into sadness. What was it with me, recently? Why did I hurt everyone? "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but you need to delete this picture."

She scoffed and shook her head, avoiding my eyes and I could feel the pain emanating from her body, making my anger decline slightly. I didn't want to hurt her but at the same time, we really needed to make things clear about how we felt and what we expected from this relationship.

"Do you know how many times this picture has been liked, Niall?"

I sighed loud and rubbed my eyes again, letting out a short groan. I didn't know but I could certainly take a good guess. I was also aware that someone probably took a screenshot of it in the next few seconds after it was posted. I hadn't taken the time to look at the comments but I could bet there were many and I wasn't too sure I wanted to read.

"Take the picture off." I asked again, feeling defeated. "Or at least, change the damn caption, Maya."

It took her a while but eventually, she rolled her eyes and took her phone in her purse. I waited impatiently as she typed on her phone and with a sigh, she looked up at me.

"I deleted it."

"Thank you."

I was not sure why but it felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders and I closed my eyes. I felt lighter, like half the stress I had had just disappeared. My whole body relaxed and it's when I realized how tensed I had been. When I opened my eyes again, Maya was throwing back her phone in her purse, making sure our eyes didn't meet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I just asked in a calmer way as she shook her head.

"Not now, Niall." she admitted, passing a hand in her hair nervously. "I need time."

"I think we need to clear up what this relationship is exactly." I insisted.

This time, she looked up right in my eyes and I knew that if looks could kill, i'd be a dead man. As I stared back at her, I realized that all these problems and fights were definitely not worth the relationship we could have and the thought made me feel guilty as shit. She stood there in front of me, extra gorgeous and fucking sexy, and I couldn't feel an ounce of regret at the thought of stopping things with her immediately. Even the way she was angrily looking at me should have been some sort of a turn on but I felt nothing and I had no idea why.

"We don't need to clear up anything, Niall." she let out harshly, putting the strap of her purse on her shoulder. "You were very fucking clear."

We stared at each other in silence for about a minute and I knew that her irritated expression hid something else, I could read it in her eyes. She expected me to say something, beg her to stay, tell her I have feelings for her... I knew it. I just didn't want to say these things and lie to her. For a few seconds, I saw sadness in her eyes but she quickly shook her head and pressed her lips together.

"Goodbye, Niall Horan."

I was almost expecting her to add something like 'I hope your dick gets bitten off by a wild animal’ but she just walked past me quickly as I stood there motionless and powerless to the whole situation. Did we just 'break up'? How can you break up with someone you weren't even dating? I shook my head to get out of my thoughts and ran behind her until the front door.

"I'm sorry!" I let out. "Are you still in for that double date?"

She stopped dead in her track and stayed without moving for a while, her back facing me, as i held the side of the door, keeping it ajar. She seemed to hesitate as I asked myself internally why the hell I had just asked that. It's not that I didn't want to try with her, it's just that clearly, we were on a different page. She wanted something steady and I just wanted to have fun.

She finally turned around slowly and I raised my eyebrows.

"!'m sure Liv and Harry are still up for it." I let out, shrugging one of my shoulders.

"But she-"

"She's my best friend." I explained a bit louder, cutting her. "Just my best friend."

I watched as her shoulders fell and she closed her eyes with a sigh. I was not sure why she wanted to try again, or why I even proposed it to her but I felt bad for hurting her and I didn't know how to make things better. The small smile she sent me proved that I did the right thing.

"Alright, call me."

The left corner of my lips raised up and I nodded.

"Sure will." I promised with a small wave.

I was a bit surprised when she blew me a kiss but I sent her a bigger smile and waited until she got in her car and drove away to get back inside and close the door behind me. I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes and leaning against the door before sighing loud. Once again, I felt like I took a wrong decision but if i wanted to be honest, it felt like a recurrent thing these day. I was trying to make Maya happy, to respect Harry and Liv's relationship, to convince everyone that Liv was just my friend and to keep all my bitter remarks to myself. I hit my head gently against the door a few times and groaned, searching for my phone in my pocket.

'I'm done. Come by whenever you want.'

I quickly hit send, not really expecting my best friend to run by my side unless it didn't go well with Harry but I still waited a few minutes against the door, trying to convince myself to move. I ended up back on the couch, laying down, scrolling through social medias when I really shouldn't. I wanted to know who had seen the picture Maya had posted and what everyone was saying but at the same time, I didn't want to.

I went back to the picture Harry had posted on instagram and my eyes caught the name of my best friend in the comments. I couldn't stop myself from reading what people had written and I felt my heart twist in my chest. I was not the kind of person to let what people say affect me but some of these comments could really put me in a bad mood, sometimes.

'Harry is dating Olivia????'

'!!!!! look how he's nuzzling her hair !!!'

'this makes me want to puke'

'I ship it!'

'I was so sure she and Niall would end up dating why is she with Harry and why is Niall with that girl?'

'IS HE DATING HER??? IS SHE A MODEL?'

'OMFG SHE'S SO PRETTY!'

'he's hot and she's hot'

'wow big surprise he's now dating a model 🙄 so predictable'

'i hope she dies'

'you guys need glasses that girl is fucking ugly'

'😭😭😭😭'

'Niall and Olivia are literally my OTP this is so fucking sad'

I blinked a few times, staring at the last comment and decided to open google to search for that term I didn't understand. Most of the reactions were not surprising but the comments about my best friend and I made my heart sink in my chest. Clearly, we were doing something wrong if everyone, including people who didn't know us, thought we had feelings for each other.

"One true pairing." I read outloud.

It took me a few seconds to realize what it meant and I cursed low, shaking my head with a sigh. After all this time being friends with Olivia, we had some random people wishing -and expecting!- us to end up together. I placed my phone on my chest and closed my eyes, trying to think of which comments seemed more off to me. The ones about me dating Maya, or the ones about me being meant to be with Liv.

I let my mind wander on some of the memories we had and it made me smile. I couldn't deny that we had amazing chemistry and that we understood each other like no one else did but at the same time, isn't it a fun part of starting a relationship? Getting to know each other? There were definitely some things I didn't know about her but I knew a whole lot and I was wondering if it would make things boring or monotone to date my best friend. There was one thing I didn't know about her but just thinking about it reminded me of my dream and I closed my eyes even tighter, trying to get rid of the images flooding my brain. There was also that time when I caught her masturbating a few days ago that seemed to appear in my mind randomly and although I had found it funny at first, now I couldn't help but wonder why the hell I remembered it so clearly and intensely.

I felt myself get harder in my pants and groaned, annoyed by how easily I was turned on. It was not like me to get hard with random thoughts, especially not about my best friend, and I sighed, passing my hand in my hair, irritated by my own behavior. I heard the doorbell ring and with a lot of effort, I jumped off the couch and walked to the door.

My heart jumped in my chest when my best friend's smiling face appeared behind it and I didn't know why. After all, I did expect her, but maybe the fact that I had been thinking about her naked only a few seconds before she got here was embarrassing me slightly.

"Oh, hey."

Her smile fell a bit and she scoffed, pushing my shoulder jokingly.

"You're the one who told me to come back here." she explained, raising her eyebrows. "I can leave if you want."

"No, no it's not you." I groaned. "Wasn't pleasant with Maya, t's'all."

I saw her frown but she took a step inside and I sighed again, turning around and walking back to the living room. I lied back down and closed my eyes again but I felt her push my legs to sit next to me.

"You're a paiiiiin in my ass." I let out dramatically but jokingly.

"But you wouldn't be happy without me."

"That's right." I confessed with a sigh, searching for her arm and pulling on it when I finally found it. "Come here."

I felt half her body laying on mine and she moved, trying to find a better way to lay with me. She ended up holding herself on my stomach and I groaned again when she hurt me a bit.

"Ouch?"

"Sorry!"

She ended up laying on her side next to me, her arm around my chest and mine around her shoulders. We remained like that for a few minutes until she finally talked.

"Is it weird that we cuddle like that?"

It took me a few seconds to understand what she said but I finally opened my eyes and turned her way, my face in her hair and a lock of it sticking to my lips. I didn't want to answer because I didn't know what to answer. I wanted to say no, and if she had asked me that a few months before, that would have been my answer. But now, everyone seemed to say that things had changed and that our friendship was not normal. Some people even wanted us to be together, which was a new thing for me and kind of hard to assimilate. I was not lying to myself and I had no idea why everyone thought so. I had a few moments of weakness where I actually lusted my best friend, big deal.

"We've always cuddled like that." I just replied, pointing out the obvious.

She looked up in my eyes and I sent her a smile. I was not sure if it was fake or not but she answered it and after a while, I tapped her arm a few times and sat up.

"Come on, I'll prepare some food for us, what do you say?"

She followed me to the kitchen and reached for the fridge, opening it and bending down to take a look inside. My eyes fluttered close and I groaned again at the sight, deciding I had been abstinent for way too long if I was about to think about sex every single time my best friend was bending down. I couldn't get hard whenever I saw some skin, I was not 16 anymore, and the whole thing sounded so juvenile that I was starting to be mad at myself.

"Pancakes night." I just said, trying to think about something else than how horny I was.

She giggled and I opened my eyes again, noticing she was holding the milk and flour in her hands. I smiled back and shrugged, not really surprised we had thought about the same thing. We started preparing everything and without any surprise again, she dropped an egg on the floor and spilled floor over it. I hated messes, that was a fact, but watching her face all white with powder as she tried to clean her mess was more endearing that I could admit.

"You're such a clumsy ass." I chuckled, bending down to help her.

"Yea, and you're an asshole." she joked, avoiding my eyes as she used a paper towel to clean the egg. It escaped her fingers and she cursed in a whisper.

"Actually, Maya said-"

"Maya can go fuck herself."

We both stopped moving at the same time, startled by her harsh words and I moved my head up very slowly to look at her. Her lips were parted and I could even swear I saw her bottom one shake slightly.

"I mean..."

Her words lingered in the air, turning the atmosphere upside down until she sighed and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I know you and her have something going on but I just, I don't know. She gives me a bad vibe."

I raised my eyebrows in shock realizing she felt for my sort-of relationship exactly what I felt for her sort-of relationship. It was weird and sad at the same time, especially that we both seemed to enjoy each other's company more.

"You and Harry give me a bad vibe too."

She looked up and her eyes met mine. I didn't know why my heart jumped in my chest again but it did and I just accepted it.

"I know."

We stayed motionless for a while but eventually, we finished cleaning and kept on cooking in silence. It's only when we sat at the table to eat that I dared to look at her. She was sitting besides me and I poured some syrup on my pancakes as she was grabbing the butter, spreading some on hers. She looked sad and I hated it. All I wanted was to see her smile again. i dipped one of my fingers in the syrup and quickly wiped it on her cheek. She held her breath as I started laughing and she finally turned to me, sending me angry eyes. I knew she wasn't really mad but the sight was hilarious and I laughed again.

"Oh hey, Liv, you’ve got something on your cheek." I chuckled, getting up. "Let me help you with it."

Quickly to make sure she didn't have time to react, I bent down and licked her cheek, making her scream in a high-pitched voice. I burst into laughter again as she rubbed her hand on her cheek. I let myself fall on my chair again and when I opened my eyes, she was smiling widely at me.

"Just for that smile, it was worth it."

Her eyes softened and her smile turned into a fond one. At that exact moment, I would have given anything to find out what was going on in her head but I just reached for her hand and squeezed her fingers.

"Come on, eat." I proposed, moving my chin her way.

She reached for the bottle of syrup and put it out of my reach, making me laugh again. I didn't want to hear about what happened between Harry and her, and I didn't want to tell her about Maya and I's conversation. All I wanted was to spend time with her, pretending no one else was important. I just wanted to pretend things were exactly the way they were a few months ago because If I wanted to be honest, that's precisely how I thought things should be: me, her, and no one else.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Thirty-Nine: File Folder ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

When his alarm sounds, blaring from the speaker of his phone, Sasuke gives a groan and rolls over. A hand fishes around for the device, managing (after several fumbles) to silence the damn thing.

Once his room is quiet again, he sighs and sinks back atop the mattress.

...it’s Tuesday. He has work today.

Ugh.

An arm slung over his eyes, he shifts it up to his brow, staring at his ceiling. Most of the room is dark save for a soft glow that peeks out from a tiny gap above his window’s blinds. The entire space looks blue. Mind oddly blank, he takes a minute or two to let his brain catch up, and then heaves himself up out of bed with a grunt.

Footsteps take him to the shower, which quickly fills with hot water. To this day, he doesn’t know how Itachi manages those cold ones. He’d sooner cut off his left hand. Whatever benefits the elder brother claims they have are not worth it. Within seven minutes he’s back out, toweling off and getting dressed. Lacing up his shoes, he abandons the apartment bedroom and heads instead into the belly of the flat. Breakfast is two hard boiled eggs and toast, all washed down with a cup of coffee. While he indulges in meals out fairly often, today just feels like a morning in kind of day.

Finally checking his phone, he notes the small nine-plus on his messages. Seems he was pretty popular after heading to bed last -

...oh.

Opening his messages, he can’t help a flinch. They’re all (but one) from Sakura. The extra is from his brother, reminding him of a meeting they have this afternoon with a client. The rest he builds up courage for before opening.

It’s a long tirade that bounces between anger, woe-is-me, accusations, pleads for pity...a typical Sakura exchange. Seems her being fired yesterday didn’t go over well...and she is, as he predicted, blaming him. Claiming it’s all an elaborate hoax to get her out of his hair.

...well, she’s half right. His father’s decision to remove her was a good segue into him telling her he really isn’t interested anymore. But it wasn’t him who suggested or thought up the move. That was entirely on Fugaku, but...good luck convincing her of that with her mind already made up for his guilt.

Heaving a heavy sigh, he decides to try and head off a reply now.

Sakura, it wasn’t my decision, it was my father’s. I was just as surprised as you were. But you’re right - I think this is as good a sign as any that we need to get some distance. Whatever that was between us...it’s been over for a while now. I have to get to work. For now, we both have some adjusting to do. Good luck.

Maybe a bit blunter than he meant it to sound, but...he’s rather sick of her attitude, anyway.

And all of this reminds him of what, instead, is waiting for him at work.

In the interim as Fugaku finds his younger son a new permanent secretary, Sasuke’s been assigned a temporary one: a girl from their billing department is filling in until a new hire is found. She’s only been there since yesterday, and admittedly Sasuke didn’t see much of her - she spent a great deal of time being walked through the process by Itachi’s assistant. Thankfully Sasuke’s day had been pretty light, and he hadn’t really needed her for anything.

...there’s just one problem.

She’s really cute.

And Fugaku had given him a lecture about office romances when he’d broken the news about Sakura’s being let go, citing his fallout with her as a small but real part of her being fired. But Sakura, to be fair, hadn’t really been much of anything except a casual, once-in-a-blue moon sort of deal. Her ‘distraction’ had been minimal at best, and it was far more her behavior that got her sacked. Sasuke’s attitude toward her making her sour had just been a chip off the iceberg.

Now she’s out of the picture, and Hinata - the girl from billing - will be there two weeks tops, according to his father. Then back to billing she’ll go, several floors down. And Sasuke’s new help, as Fugaku warned, will be someone he won’t be too keen on sleeping with, in hopes of curbing his tendency to make the office...tense.

Which, in his mind, isn’t wholly fair. Sakura was the one who made it such a big deal...and it was the only time it happened. It wasn’t like he had a list ten people long he’s messed around with! The way Fugaku spoke made it sound like a bad habit…

But now he’s got this to deal with. Hinata. Unlike Sakura, she’s been charming, sweet, and far more polite. As much as he hated to admit it...he was a bit smitten almost immediately. And he did not want to prove his father right. So, he’d holed himself up in his office, watching through the windows as she got mini lessons from the other secretary.

So...what to do. She won’t be in the department forever - and Fugaku had, even if he hadn’t been wholly serious, suggested that being that removed would make any possible relations more...excusable. Should things go south, they wouldn’t be forced into close quarters like he and Sakura had been.

But his pride also tells him it’s a dumb idea if only because he knows his father will give him shit about it.

Scowling to himself, Sasuke glances at his phone - he’d better get going, or he’s going to be late.

He can’t avoid her forever.

Thankfully it’s a short drive to the proper building, and then an elevator ride to the right floor. It’s already bustling - any day a new client comes to have talks, it’s all the executive department can talk about. Itachi’s already agreed to brief him on it - it’s rather last minute, arranged over the weekend and only confirmed yesterday morning.

...to his honest surprise, she’s already there.

Back to him, she’s fishing through a file cabinet by her desk. The top drawer is just a little too tall for her, stood on her tiptoes to peer into it. She’s got a pencil skirt, a dark purple in color that matches the jacket she has on. Dark leggings run all the way down to her shoes, which have just a hint of heel (and yet still not enough to see what she’s looking for). While it had been down yesterday, her hair is caught up in a neat bun this morning.

To his own aggravation, he finds himself subtly giving her backside a glance. He can’t really help himself - that skirt is just -

“Aha!”

Startled from his staring, Sasuke makes to appear as though he’s just approaching, watching as Hinata fetches a file folder before closing the drawer and smiling. “Find what you you were looking for?”

It’s her turn to jump a bit, not expecting him to be so close. “O-oh! Mr. - um...Sasuke! You got a flag from your brother asking you to look over some, um...some forms that pertain to your meeting this afternoon. I believe these are the c-correct ones.”

Head tilting in interest, he accepts the file and skims through it. “Seem to be. I’ll double check with him just to be sure. Thanks for digging them out.”

“Of course!”

Shutting the folder, he looks back up to her. “...seems you’re settling in okay. Anything giving you grief yet?”

“Not so far, no...a-any questions I’ve had, your brother’s assistant has been able to help me with! I think I have the hang of the b-basics. I’ve been trying not to bother her too much...I want to try to get the r-rest on my own. Unless, um...unless something pressing comes up, of course. I don’t want to waste any of your time -”

“It’s fine. It’s pretty rare anything has less than a day’s turnaround. And if they do, you’ll know, and she can help you.”

A light shade of flustered pink alights her cheeks, and he inwardly curses. “Ah...all right. Well, um...I’ll let you get to it! Your brother wanted you to l-look over those forms sometime before this afternoon, so...I don’t want to distract you.”

“All right - I’ll page you if anything else comes up.”

“Got it!”

Taking the file with him, he closes the door to his office and sets it on his desk, standing for a moment with a heavy sigh.

...this isn’t going well. It isn’t going well at all. Why did it have to be her out of anyone in billing? She’s so damn distracting! And not in bad ways, he just...really doesn’t need this right now. Any other time…

A hand reaches and eases at the tension in his brow. Well...best he start going over the paperwork. He rarely has to do much in meetings like this - mostly just pay attention and help make sure nothing is awry - another pair of eyes and ears. But Itachi seems a bit more serious about this one than usual, so...best he put in the effort.

And maybe it’ll help get other things off his mind...

                                                       .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to day 262!)      The sequel no one saw coming xD I know continuing this one - especially almost 100 days later - is SUPER random, but I couldn't NOT do something office related with a prompt like 'file folder' lol - and I like this concept anyway =w=      Poor Sasuke. He goes from a not-great hookup with one secretary (and getting in trouble for it) to having one even CUTER and more appealing show up! He just can't catch a break! Well...maybe once she goes back to billing, he can give this a shot. Otherwise, his pride (and his dad xD) won't stand for it.      Anywho, I'm still UBER behind, like...17? 18 days? I can't math, but uh...a lot. idk if I'll really have time to do much catching up before the end of the year, but obviously at least SOME of it will spill over into 2020. Whoops? Can't really be helped though, life has just been too much to keep up here like I wanted, but...I won't get too much into that. This was Dec 5's prompt, and uh...well, it's 3am, so it's technically the 23 here, so...yeah, I'm very behind :'D But I'll finish up whenever I can - just wanted to reiterate that, aha~      But for now, it's late, as always...I need to sleep. Thanks for reading!

[the-canary]

Wednesdays - L.T (4/10)

Summary: Only you had the balls to deal with his outrageous order on that day. You just didn’t know how bad it would get. (Barista!Reader/Lance Tucker).

A/N: there was a lot of merging things and idk how to pull it off, but now i do and hopefully you enjoy it! 

Feedback is always appreciated.

It’s two weeks since a certain Claire started her ballet lessons and while she was just beginning, her teacher was telling that she was a quick learner and quickly catching up with her other students. It made her a little proud of herself and she needed to tell her uncle all about it. Norma looked at her daughter starting outside of the window every couple of minutes, the need for punctuality and perfection seemed to run deep in their family.

“Uncle!” the young girl yells, as she sees the familiar red convertible making its way into the parking area. Norma tells her daughter to wait before she goes off running like she usually does. The girl pouts but waits for her uncle to make his way to the building, though she is bouncing in excitement to see her favorite person in the world, as she had declared more than once.

“What do you plan on telling your uncle, anyways?” Norma give her daughter a smile, as Claire’s blue eyes sparkle.

“How I’m getting better,” she smiles with her chubby cheeks stretching as a result, “And how pretty my teacher is too!”

Norma can’t help but shake her head at the thought of Claire that might be trying to set up her younger brother once more

“Where’s my favorite munchkin?” a voice declares from behind her, as Claire giggles, gets up, and proceeds to jump into her uncle’s arms.

Blue eyes clashing with familiar blue, as everything is a bit more settled down for the small brood for now.

 You will only be connected  through Mr. Tucker through a company email. Here is a list of his demands and what he wants from the social media sites, aside from the press releases we will be doing at a later time. Please look over the documents and feel free to make edits.

“This sounds so boring,” you murmur to yourself while looking at the documents that came attached with the email. After doing your research and learning more about one Lance Tucker, former Olympic gold and silver medalist plus walking scandal-in-the-making, you were expecting a bit more from him -- maybe, something more creative. But, this..this was all--

“This isn’t going to attract any attention,” you huff out an annoyed breath of air, while rolling in your chair from side to side for a moment. Yes, there good things in seeing daily trainings and occasional pictures of the athletes, but if there wasn’t an personality or emotional connection for the person, then it was just something you could scroll over.

It was one of the reasons why you understood that the Hope Ann Gregory story resonated so much with people -- the struggle of a small town kid who had made all the way to the Olympics only to keep fighting until the very end, even if she only got the bronze -- it was national headline worthy. Lance Tucker was a boy with a silver spoon in his mouth, who got the gold and silver without much of a struggle.

The God of Gymnastics , until just like Zeus his limbo threw him from grace and not many were sympathetic, what with his general shitty attitude but oh so good looks (did you really just say think that?) making him somewhat unlikeable because someone like him could always get back up and start all over again -- like you sure he was doing now, though you could tell he was playing it safe with all his documentation. Though, it wasn’t going to do what he was aiming for and that failure placed itself on your lap to fix.

And, really -- you needed to a miracle to work with all this.    

 It’s another boring Wednesday when you finally see the nightmare that has been haunting your part time job since you received that email the week before -- not that Lance Tucker knew that. He gives off a new strange order for Micah to hand over to you, as you can’t help but wonder why the hell he keeps changing his order every time he comes in. What was the motivation behind the constant change?

It’s in that moment that you freeze, as an idea pops into your head.  

@TuckerGym: WHAT DOES LANCE TUCKER ORDER @STARBUCKS!?

You make the drink before taking out the temporary company phone that you had been given and take a quick snap of the odd drink. Micah is giving you a curious look as you motion her to stay quiet. She understands the message, though you doubt that she will let you leave without you giving her some type of information.

“Lance,” you yell out giddier than ever, quickly catching the man’s attention, “Mini Red Eye for Lance!”

Said man turns around in confusion over how joyful you can be in declaring one order, but doesn’t say anything on the matter as he stands across from you and takes a sip. There is no hint of bitterness in his nod, as he waves goodbye to the both of you for once. You wave back with the biggest smile that you can muster, which causes him to pause for a moment before letting go of the door.

“ What the hell was that about ?” Micah can’t help but ask, as you shake just a little bit to the song that is now playing and laugh -- not caring that some of the customers might look at you a little weird.

“That was the answer to all my prayers,” you nod, but before she can ask anything else a new customer is already waiting in front of the cash register.

 It’s Friday when he first sees it, some of the girls are looking at their phones during break. Their whispers and giggles attract his attention, it also doesn’t help that they keep looking at him in quick glances before going back to their phones. He tries not to let him bother him, but any distraction is something that he has to investigate as much as a hardass as he needs to be for these girls and their potential Olympic dreams.

“Hey,” he starts, standing in front of them, hands on his hips, “what are you girls looking at?”

“The gym’s twitter page,” one of the youngers girls explains, showing Lance their phone and a pinned sets of tweets that were all related to him.

@TuckerGym: TUCK’S ADVENTURES AROUND TOWN.

It wasn’t very prolific but there were some really hilarious pictures of him walking around the streets near the gym -- most notably a gif of him dancing with his earphones on. And let’s just say, dancing wasn’t one of Lance’s better traits, especially with all the laughing emojis that seemed to be placed underneath the original post.

You had to catch the post at the right time too, if not it was lost to the other posts that Lance knew that were connected to the social media he had stated to be focus in his proposal -- but, this --- this was a complete invasion of privacy.

“You’re really popular, Coach,” Katherine --his current star pupil-- laughs, but quickly stops at flash of anger in his face, “It’s only been getting the gym more followers since it started. You might even become a meme.”

“Meme?” Lance states confused at the word for a moment and while he knew what they were, he wasn’t going to give them that satisfaction, “When did these start anyways?”

“Last Wednesday, I think,” Katherine answers, waiting for his response but Lance says nothing more on the subject. He moves and told them that break time is over.  

Lance heads back his groan back until he got back to his office, ready to email a certain social media associate that the PR people told him would be running everything in that aspect.

“God, I hate Wednesdays.”

[edxwin-elric]

Chemistry (Part 1)

Part 1: Pop Quiz

Rating: T

Pairing: Edwin/Edward Elric x Winry Rockbell

Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Word Count: 2279

Description: Part 1 of this Edwin Thing

Modern School AU where Edward is jealous when Winry talks about other boys, but she’s completely oblivious.

A/N: Request by anon for some Jealous Edward. I hope this satisfies. Comments are always appreciated.

tag || ffn || ao3

next part

Winry

My phone vibrates in my pocket on the way to lunch. As soon as I see the message, I roll my eyes and start typing my response. I shouldn’t be surprised Ryan is flirting with me via stupid jokes about shop class. His reply comes through, and I bite my lip, trying not to blush.

“Hey, did you finish the chem homework from Friday?”

“Hmm?” I look over at Ed who is walking next to me. “What?”

He looks down at my phone, and I see a muscle twitch in his jaw.

“Are you okay?” I frown at him.

“Yeah,” he grunts, looking away. “I just…I asked if you finished the homework in Mustang’s class.”

“Oh.” I nod. “No, I got started on balancing the equations, but then I got distracted and didn’t finish.”

“I can help you with it, if you want.” He shrugs. “If you’re not too busy with Ryan.”

“Since when have I ever sat with Ryan during lunch? He has second lunch anyway–”

“Oh, well good,” he cuts me off, rolling his shoulders.

We sit down, and I spread out my homework, eating my lunch out of the brown bag in my lap. Ed is really good at science, especially chemistry, so he makes it easy to understand the parts that confused me. I’m working the last equation when my phone vibrates again. I stop and reach for my phone when Ed’s fist on the table catches my eye. I look up at him to see him glaring at my homework.

“Edward, what–”

“Is that him again?”

“Is it who?” I ask carefully.

“You know who,” he growls. “That little bitch, Ryan.”

“Seriously?” I raise my eyebrows. “What’s going on with you?” I reach over and put my hand on his arm, forcing him to look at me. “Why do you hate Ryan all of the sudden?”

“I don’t hate him,” he bites out, pulling away and looking to the side. “I just…think he’s kind of a douche.”

“He’s not a douche! He’s nice! He’s my partner in shop class, and if it weren’t for him, I’d be stuck with that roach, Kimblee.”

“Well, of course you would think he’s nice,” he grumbles, and I feel my face getting red.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” he snaps. “I’m just saying maybe if you spent less time flirting with him, you’d have time to finish your own damn chemistry homework.”

Ouch. I feel hurt and anger flood my system, as I stand and start gathering my things.

“Fine, Ed,” I mutter. “If that’s how you feel, I’ll go do my homework in the library.”

“Winry–”

I blink away the stupid tears threatening to fall as I sling my bag over my shoulder.

“I don’t understand what’s going on with you,” I tell him, my voice wavering. “Ryan is a perfectly nice person, and whatever your problem is with him, you don’t have to take it out on me.”

“Winry, wait. I didn’t mean–”

He stands up, looking apologetic, but I ignore him, walking out of the cafeteria and down the hall.

Edward

Fuck.

“What was that about, brother?” Al appears at my side just as the door closes to the lunch room. “Winry looked pretty upset.”

“Just me,” I mumble. “Saying something stupid. Making her cry.”

“What was it this time?”

I throw myself back into my chair and shove my fingers through my bangs.

“She… That stupid asshat Ryan has been texting her again.”

He raises his eyebrows at me and crosses his arms.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap at him.

“Someone is jealous.” He smirks and sits down in Winry’s abandoned chair.

“Hardly,” I scoff. “I just…don’t want her to get hurt. I’m protecting her.”

“Right,” he says slowly. “The same way you were protecting her when you punched Ling in the courtyard after he said she was pretty.”

“He had it coming.”

He stays quiet for a second, and I poke around at the food on my plate.

“You made her cry again,” he says quietly.

Fuck. I know.

“Yeah,” I mutter.

“What are you gonna do?”

“Apologize, I guess,” I sigh. “Like I always do.”

“You’d think at some point she’d stop being friends with you. Considering how often this happens.”

“Yeah.”

“On the other hand, you could just tell her you like her, like a normal person, and maybe then you wouldn’t blow up in a jealous rage constantly.”

“What?” I sputter. “I’m not jealous! And why would I tell her I like her? I don’t—That’s not—I haven’t ever–”

“Better watch out, brother. All that lying will set your pants on fire.”

“I’m not lying!” I jump up, ignoring the people staring at us now. “She’s just…a friend. I don’t like her like that. She’s like family. Like a sister–”

“I hope not,” he cuts me off. “Normal guys don’t fantasize about their sisters–”

“Shut up, Al!” I kick his chair leg. “It’s not like that,” I hiss.

“You’re forgetting, brother,” he whispers as he stands, leaning in, “we share a wall. And you talk in your sleep.”

I feel my face heat, and my fists clench with the urge to punch him.

“Hey. Don’t get mad at me just because you’re in denial.” He turns and grabs his bag off the floor. “You have a crush on Winry, Ed. It’s about time you owned up to it. Before you blow your shot.”

He turns and walks away, and I stand there seething. What the hell is he talking about? A crush on Winry, my ass. I don’t think about her like that. And I can’t control what I think about in my sleep. It’s not my fault if I dream that we, um… Or, if I wake up and I’m…

I shake my head, trying to think of something else. Fortunately, the bell rings to signal the end of lunch period. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I drop my tray off at the collection on my way out. Next, I have history, which is boring as fuck, but at least I can count on getting a good nap in. No offense to Mr. Falman.

Winry

Study hall is boring. Especially since I finished the last two chemistry equations on my own in the library. They may not be totally correct, but I had the ones Ed helped me with—before he blew up at me—for reference. So, I don’t even have that to occupy me.

God, it’s even worse in here when Paninya actually has work she needs to finish. Otherwise, we can usually pass notes across the table when Mr. Havoc isn’t looking, and today is definitely a day I need her advice. Not that she has a lot of experience with guys switching from hot to cold on her the way Ed has been with me today.

What is with him anyway? I mean, he knows Ryan is my friend, so why is he all of the sudden upset about it? Ryan has been my partner in shop class since the beginning of the year. It’s not like it’s new. And sure, he flirts with me, but it’s meaningless fun. I’m not interested in Ryan. I’ve even told him that to his face. Maybe I would be if it were under different circumstances, but I’ve pretty much accepted that as long as Ed’s around, there really isn’t room for another guy in my life. Not romantically, anyway.

It would be nice, though, if Ed would return my feelings. I haven’t said anything to him because…well, if he doesn’t feel the same way about me…

It’s not like I’m pining for him or anything. I don’t expect him to fall in love with me, I guess, but…we’ve known each other forever, and the idea of him with another girl makes me feel…jittery.

I reach down and pull the red zip up hoodie out of my bag and pull it on, tugging my hair out of the collar. Instantly, I feel calmer. He gave me the jacket one day when I forgot mine, and the temperature dropped ten degrees before lunch. I haven’t given it back because…I don’t want to. The idea of another girl wearing his jacket makes me feel sick.

A piece of paper slides across the table, and I look up to see Paninya giving me big eyes. I snatch her note and unfold it, glancing over at Mr. Havoc to make sure he’s not looking.

Are you okay? You’re wearing the hothead’s jacket again. And I’m sweating, so I doubt it’s because you’re chilly.

I sigh and grab my pen to scribble my reply.

He was acting weird today. Went off on me about Ryan, though idk why. I needed to feel better.

She frowns at me, and I shrug.

What about Ryan upset him?

He wouldn’t say, exactly. Just called him a douche and a little bitch. He snapped at me when I tried to ask him.

He sounds jealous to me.

Haha. Why would Ed be jealous of Ryan?

Oh, idk. Because he likes you???

He has a funny way of showing it.

If that’s even true. I mean, does he like me as more than a friend? Because it’s Edward. He might just be picking at Ryan because he called him short once or something. His irrational dislike of him may have nothing to do with me after all.

If I see him, I’ll tell him flowers are the more traditional romantic gesture.

I roll my eyes at her and shake my head, quickly hiding our written exchange when Mr. Havoc turns our way. Unfortunately, we don’t get the chance to pick up our conversation again before the bell rings, so as I walk into chemistry, I’m still feeling confused about the whole Ed-snapping-at-me situation.

Naturally, he’s standing at my lab station when I come in. Scratching the back of his head, looking sheepishly contrite, which is actually a pretty common expression for him. My heart squeezes, and I sigh. Even though I’m still hurt, it’s hard to be mad when he so clearly regrets what he said. He’s Edward. It’s not like I can just stop talking to him forever.

With that in mind, I pull the sleeves of the hoodie down over my palms and make my way to my seat.

Edward

Shit. What am I supposed to say? She’s got that look on her face that kills me. Plus, her bottom lip looks puffy like she’s been nibbling on it.

Fuck, I want to nibble on it.

What the hell? No, I don’t! She’s Winry for fuck’s sake. God, what has gotten into me.

“Hi.” She skirts around me and sits down on her stool.

“Winry, I can explain,” I say softly, trying to buy time. “It wasn’t–”

“I’m still mad at you,” she interrupts.

“I know.”

“I’m not interested in Ryan, you know,” she volunteers randomly.

“What? I never thought—Why would you even suggest–”

“Paninya said you sounded jealous.” She shrugs. “I figured it wasn’t that, but just in case, I thought I’d tell you.”

“Oh.” I blink, ignoring the intense feeling of relief flooding my chest. “Well, that wasn’t it at all.”

God, if Al were here right now…

“He asked me to prom,” she murmurs, and I ignore the way my muscles tense. “I told him I already had a date.”

My jaw drops, and I blink at her.

“You do?”

I mean, prom is only two weeks away, so I shouldn’t sound so surprised, but she hasn’t mentioned anyone to me. Hell, if her date is some fuckwad, I’m going to scare the shit out of him before he tries anything with her.

“Well…” She glances up at me before looking down, running her fingers over the grooves in the top of lap table. “I might. It depends.”

“On what?”

“On you.”

“Me?” I blink. “Y-you want to go to prom with me?”

“Well, I thought we could go as, um, friends,” she says softly, looking down. “Unless you have plans…”

Oh God. Is it hot in here? I can’t breathe.

“Right. Um, as friends. That’s, uh, fine,” I stammer. “I mean, I can do that.”

“Okay.” She looks up at me with a smile, and my heart trips over itself.

Dammit. What is happening?

She reaches up to push her bangs out of her eyes—damn those eyes are blue—and then I spot the red sleeve, and I freeze. She’s wearing my hoodie. I forgot she had it. Why is she wearing it now? It’s not even cold.

Oh crap. Seeing her wrapped in my clothes is making me hard. Seriously, what the hell? It’s not like I haven’t seen her in my jacket before.

She looks up at me, and I feel my cheeks going pink. Shit. I can’t let her catch me with a hard-on right now. I quickly slide onto the stool beside her, hoping no one is looking at me.

Luckily, the bell rings before Winry can say anything else. I take a slow breath as Mr. Mustang saunters up to the front of the class. At least chemistry is something I understand, so hopefully there won’t be any more surprises. Like Winry asking me to prom.

Fucking shit. I’m taking Winry to prom. I steal a look at her and feel my face get red. Or redder. Fuck, Al is never going to let me live this down.

“Good afternoon, class,” Mustang pipes up with that annoying grin of his. “Pop quiz.”

Well, fuck. So much for no surprises.

[literallyprentissstwin]

Another Moment - Part 10 (Final)

you can find all the parts of this story on my masterlist. 

A/N: wow, i´m really sorry it took me so so long to put the tenth & final part of this story up. idk but i had no time & no motivation, but today, my motivation returned and i finally wanted to give my little sienna & our babe luke a proper end. i´m really sad that my series is over then :( i really hope you enjoyed it as much as i did. please leave me some feedback, i would highly appreciate it. 

Warnings: not really, just some talking about kidnapping, hurt/comfort & the general angst (if you know me, angst is my babe), & also beware: there will be a tiny little bit of fluff lol. 

i´m really sorry that this has gotten so so long. cheers to you if you read it till the end. 

“Luke, it´s barely been an hour. Give her some rest.”

Sienna heard someone say as she slowly started to wake up. 

Matt. The voice belonged to her father´s best friend. 

“I know..but..I just need to see her..you know?”

Her Dad, worried as always. It´s then that she felt that someone was holding her hand. She decided to give it a tiny squeeze to show that she´s indeed awake. 

“What..”, she heard her Dad stutter and in that moment, Sienna slowly started to open her eyes. 

“Hey, look who´s back.”, Matt said, a bright smile spreading on his face.

“Hey, Baby Girl.”, Luke greeted his daughter, relieved. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Sienna smiled a little and whispered a quick “Hi” before she looked around the room and saw that the rest of her father´s team was there as well. 

“How are you feeling?”, Luke asked, concern lacing on his face. 

“I´m okay..but what happened?”, Sienna replied, confused. It wasn´t that she didn´t remember what had happened, how could she ever forget that? It was more like that she didn´t remember to be this injured that she had to stay in a hospital, again. 

“Don´t worry. You´re not hurt, at least not that bad that you need to stay here.”, Matt answered as if he could have read the girls mind.

“You kind of passed out at the crime scene though because of your lack of food and water. Also, you´ve got a mild concussion and a few bruised ribs.”, Luke continued. 

“Sounds fun! When can I go home?”, Sienna wondered as she sat up more. 

“The doctors want to discharge you later today.”, Luke said. This was so typical for his daughter, but who could blame her? She actually has been in enough hospitals the last few weeks. 

“Great, they better hurry because I can´t stand to be in her any longer plus this bed is pretty uncomfortable.”, the teenager hissed which made the team laugh.  After a few seconds, Emily decided that it was now or never that they had to talk about what had happened. She hated to be the one to break the good mood, but it was the job. 

“Sienna, I´m really sorry for bringing this up again, but to close the case, we have..”, the Unit Chief started, but got interrupted by the young girl. 

“You need to know what happened, I know.”, she sighed. 

“Yeah, I´m sorry for this. I really wish there would be another way of doing this.”, Emily said as she grabbed a chair and put it close to Sienna and next to Luke´s.  Sienna just nodded and took a deep breath before she began explaining. The rest of the team decided to give the girl some space and therefore decided to go back to the station and see what Scott had to say. 

“So, after this..fight Dad and I had back in Quantico, I needed to get out, away from everything. I needed to go to somewhere quiet and peaceful, so I went to visit my Mom´s grave. I took the bus to McLean and arriving there, I headed straight to the cementry. I talked to Mom, I let out all my anger about this stupid Detective at the police station. I just ranted and ranted. I don´t know how long I´ve been sitting there, but I lost track of time and it got dark. When I checked my phone I saw all the messages and calls from you guys and I started to feel bad. I didn´t want you to worry. That´s why I started typing this text to you, Dad. I guess, it never got through.”, Sienna said and sat up even more while her Dad moved closer to her bed. 

“What happened next?”, Matt asked. 

“I-I don´t know. It all went by so quick. Like one minute, I was texting Dad, then the other, I heard noises behind me. It kind of scared me so I wanted to get going. This was when Scott grabbed me from behind. He put that cloth full of chloroform onto my mouth. I tried to fight him off, but guess he was too strong and the chloroform had already kicked in. I passed out and the next thing I remember is waking up, tied to this chair.”, and again Sienna needed to stop talking. The three agents noticed how nervous and panicked she had gotten and it hurt them more than anything to have her going through this again. 

“You´re doing good, Sienna. We´re almost done. What is the next thing that happened?”, Prentiss tried to reassure the young girl. 

“He told me about his wife he had lost and his daughter. He seemed totally out of it while talking. Then he wanted to know why I hate him so much and that he just wants to be there for me. He said that he could take better care of me than my FBI-Dad, because Dad wouldn´t actual care a bit about me. I got so angry and screamed at him. Then he left, but came back shortly afterwards. He talked some confusing stuff and during this, I tried to free myself. The next time he left, I ran for the phone and called you. After I hung up with you, he came back and I got really mad. I-I just wanted to know why he had to kill Mom. I-I..”, Sienna started to sob, her fragile frame shaking violently. 

“Hey, it´s okay. You´re safe. I´ve got you.”, Luke tried to soothe his scared daughter. 

“H-He said he needed to kill her b-because she wanted to break up with him. M-Mom wanted to move over to Quantico, so we all could live closer together. H-He killed her because h-he couldn´t accept that she started to believe me, that I still was her number 1 priority. H-He killed her because of me.”, and with this, Sienna broke down, sobbing and screaming for her dead mother. An innocent life which  had been taken by a maniac, all because of her. 

If Emily´s, Luke´s and Matt´s heart hadn´t been broken before, it would be now. It hurt them to see that Sienna was blaming herself for everything. 

Luke was trying his best to calm Sienna down, but eventually, she drifted off into sleep from exhaustion and crying. Matt and Emily decided that they heard and had enough and after making sure Luke and Sienna had everything they needed for now, the both of them also left to close this case with the rest of the team.

“Hey, you´re awake again.”, Luke said a few hours later as Sienna opened her eyes, looking around in confusion. 

“Oh, don´t worry. Emily and Matt went back to the station a few hours back to handle everything. It´s over, for real.”, Luke continued talking as he walked closer to Sienna´s bed. 

“What´s gonna happen now?”, the girl asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“We´re going home. The team is on its way here right now. I already signed your discharge papers and..”

“What about Scott?”

“He´ll get what he deserves. We made sure of it. He´ll rot in prison and will probably never leave this place again.”

“I´m sorry, Dad.”, Sienna murmured as she quickly looked down. 

“Sunshinne, look at me.”, Luke demanded as he took Sienna´s hands in his, “nothing of what happened to you and Mom is your fault, okay? It was completley out of your hands. He did it, he decided to do it, not you. You knew that something was off, you warned her, but there wasn´t much you could have continued doing. So please don´t blame yourself for something which wasn´t your choice, okay? Scott isn´t worth your tears and thoughts. He´ll rot in prison, that´s where he belongs. You can start and try to move on, but you need to believe first that non of this was your fault.”

“But..”, Sienna started, but her Dad interrupted her. 

“No..no “but´s”. It´s not your fault. You need to believe this in order to move on.”

“What if I can´t?”

“Then I´ll tell you the truth over and over again until you believe me.”, Luke said, a small smile playing on his lips, which also made Sienna smile. 

“I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, Princess. I´m so proud of you and I´ll be here for you, every step of the way.”, Luke assured her and embraced his daughter in a soft hug. After some time, they broke apart and Sienna looked up to her Dad. 

“What is it?”, he asked. 

“Before we go home, could we maybe do one last stop?”, Sienna wanted to know which earned a confused look form her Dad, but little did he know where she wanted to go to. 

“Anything for you, Princess.”

It´s been 4 months since Sienna and Luke left McLean together, after taking a quick stop at the grave of Sienna´s Mom on their way home. It was Sienna´s wy of finding closure. 

The past 4 months have been a rollercoaster ride - happy moments, scarry and sad moments filled with nightmares and a lot of crying. Yes, life hasn´t been easy for the girl. Just when things started to get better, something happened and pulled Sienna back in her hole. The process against Scott had been the most difficult part of the rollercoaster ride. But gladly, Sienna hadn´t have to do it alone. She had her Dad and his team and she was more than thankful for them. 

After the process, things started to actually work out for Luke and Sienna and they couldn´t be happier. Of course, it still hurt to think about it, but pain only makes people stronger, at leasts that what they say, and if there is one thing Sienna had learned over the past few weeks, than that it´s okay to feel, it´s okay to hurt, but it´s never okay to give up and stop fighting. 

Yes, life could be difficult sometimes and it isn´t always that peachy, but life´s worth living and after all, it´s what Sienna deserved. A happy life with people who care about her, not only down here but also up there. 

In another moment, Sienna would have argued about this, but right now, this seemed to be enough for her. 

THE END. 

[ @dontshootmespence @veroinnumera @sam-carter-in-training @princesswagger14 @tenaciousarcadeexpert @ultrarebelheart @illegalcerebral @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @marvelfanlife @butsomeofusarelookingatthestars @crimindsaspe @the-criminal-soldier @ssaunitchief @lookwhatyoumademequeue @sweater-vest-reid @crimeshowtrash @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @poppyreid @acespence @jennferjareau @docspencerreid @spencerreidreads @idkbutspencer ]

[choicessa]

Begin Again (Drake x MC)

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake x MC (Elizabeth)

Words: ~4400 (I don’t know how this happened…?)

Summary: After Elizabeth’s sudden disappearance after he’s been shot, Drake finally finds her in New York and wants to understand why had she left?

Note: I was playing with that idea for some time but never could properly finish it and last week’s finale plus amazing anon prompt I got: “I didn’t mean to, it was an accident I swear…” + “Sorry won’t fix this…” both resulted with THIS. It was supposed to be angst so it is (not that I’m complaining) aaand I might write part two? Idk, I have kind of idea for more, so… we will see ^^

Warning: A loooot of angst and a bit of swearing.

Also I allow myself to tag my dear friend @mariawalkerwrites, I hope you’ll enjoy this despite the fact it is quite angsty ^^

He found her.

When he saw her inside that bar all he could think of was… relief. Relief that he finally found her, that after all those days, weeks of looking for her everywhere – he finally did it. She was there, a few steps ahead, finally within the reach of his hand. He could almost feel his heart beating like crazy in his chest when with his eyes wide opened he was moving his gaze over her silhouette in the distance.

She didn’t change.

The same long hair, falling on her arms in a soft waves, the same look of her blue eyes, now moving through the bar, maybe looking for someone. The way she bit her lower lip, unconsciously, when she was thinking about something.

Elizabeth. His Elizabeth.

But that relief, the joy of seeing her quickly disappeared, leaving place for another emotions, the ones he wanted to get rid of and yet the ones which have driven him by the past weeks. Anger that she left him, almost like a dream that disappears in the morning, almost like she had never been there at first place; hurt that she didn’t leave a word of explanation, not even a smallest word of comfort, which would make him sleep better at night; fury that after everything that happened, after all those promises of life together, he was the one who had to come and find her. He wanted to run to her, close her in his arms, feel the warmth of her body in his again, he craved so much to taste her lips, cover her face with kisses, tell her how much he loves her, how much he missed her. But… at the same time he wanted to grab her arms, look her straight into her eyes and ask why the hell did he do this to him? How could she and how is she capable of sleeping at night with the memories of how she broke his heart? He wanted to come and go, let her know how it really is to lose someone you love more than anything; he wanted her to suffer, just like he did…

The memories came back like a tidal wave, flooding him, bringing back the same pain. That moment when he woke up in that dark hospital room, his throat sore, wound in his chest burning almost like fire and terrible pain in his heart, the unbearable thought. Did she make it? Did he save her? Did he protect her from that bullet?

He waited for her to come. One hour. Four. Ten. A day has passed, two and she still didn’t come. Liam kept on telling him that it was too big risk, that they needed to protect her and he believed it. At the beginning. But when almost three days has passed and he still had to ask for her, he knew they lied. They all lied.

When he asked his friend for a truth, he was prepared for pretty much everything. He was prepared for hearing that she was dead, that she didn’t make it, that even though he did everything, the bullet still reached her. He was prepared for hearing that she was in coma, in critical condition, laying a few rooms further in the same hospital that he was.

But he wasn’t prepared for this.

For that look full of pity when Liam told him that… She was gone. That she disappeared, leaving one note, with no explanation, telling only that she was sorry and she needed to leave, had to leave. Words which were probably meant to be a consolation, make her departure easier for him, but… they never did. They only made hole in his heart bigger, they made every single day a struggle when he needed anything to hold on to, anything to help him cope. Until he realized that’s the only way of ever getting over was… to find her, hear her explanation, maybe understand why did she do this? Or maybe what had he done that made her leave?

And here he was, standing in front of her bar, looking at her through the window, first time in forever wondering if it was a good idea. Maybe it was stupid to open up the old wounds? Maybe he was stupid for trying again? Maybe it was better to just bury everything behind, forget that part of his life that was now gone? Maybe she had already moved on and now it was time for him to do the same thing? But he didn’t come here for nothing, he didn’t spent last weeks in this city looking for her, just to run away once she was within the reach of his hand. She owed him at least that, a confession. Taking a deep breath he opened the door and stepped inside.

~~~

The hour passed after an hour and Elizabeth looked at the watch again, sighing with a mixture of relief and resignation. Only three more hours and it’ll be end of today’s torment...  She took another glass, wiping it with a cloth before putting it back at the shelf behind her back.

Today was one of those days.

Days when she was woken up by a nightmare, bringing back the pain of a stupid decision she once made. One of those days when she couldn’t stop thinking if maybe there was another way. A day filled with regrets haunting her whenever she closed her eyes. You left him. Those simple words refusing to leave her mind, even though she tried so hard to get rid of them. The thought that occupied her mind, every moment she wasn’t otherwise engaged. For last few months she was feeding herself with lies that she did it for him but truth was… She had no idea if he was okay. She wanted to reach out to him for so many times, hands holding her phone, text message ready to be sent and her own fingers hovering over ‘sent’ button. But she never did. Never sent that message, not to him, not to anyone. She simply had to pretend she never existed, never stormed into his life, their lives, bringing only pain and disappointment.

Most of the days it was surprisingly easy to drown out that persistent voice in her head; she had work, she managed to keep up the appearance of a normal life and sometimes it seemed that she was good again until... until the day like this came and everything returned to the starting point.

Suddenly Elizabeth heard the sound of door opening and she let out another sigh. It was a long day and a long evening and every new customer was making it harder to wait till the end of the shift. Especially today when all those thoughts and memories of her previous life were haunting her, making it unable to focus on anything else. She took a deep breath when she heard slow, heavy steps on the floor, followed by the soft creaking of the stool when another customer sat down at the counter.

“What can I get you?” Elizabeth finally asked, still not looking at him, finishing her previous cleaning.

“Maybe an explanation?”

Glass that she was holding almost slipped from her hand when she heard those words.

That voice…

The one she thought she’d never hear again in her life, the one she’d recognize everywhere, the one she grew so fond of once, the voice that used to fill her heart with longing, tenderness and the one which was now… emotionless, causing only more pain and bringing all the regrets she tried to silence for so long. Elizabeth took a deep breath and slowly turned around, almost immediately meeting the familiar pair of dark eyes. Drake…

In that moment all she could feel was… relief. Relief because he was alive, sitting right in front of her, relief that he was okay. For the first time that felt like forever she could breathe again, she didn’t have to feed herself with false hope, pray that he would be safe and sound. Because he was. Right here, within the reach of her hand. Her lips started to move, almost lifting in a smile when a sad realization hit her. She hurt him so much… Left without a word, leaving him nothing, not even a single letter, hoping that finally he would forget her, just like she will try to forget about him. But yet he was here, in New York, months after her departure and… even after all this time – she realized she loves him the same. His one look, the sight of his brown eyes, could still make her heart flutter in her chest. But even though her feelings didn’t change at all, they both changed. And he… He must have hated her, after all that she’s done… She swallowed hard and cleared her throat, before putting her hands on a counter, taking a step towards him.

“What… What are you doing here?” She managed to ask, almost relieved that her voice didn’t betray her this one time and gave this false image of her being so… calm.

“I came for an explanation. Maybe you can help me with this one?” There was no trace of any emotion in his voice, it sounded almost like he was ordinary asking for an hour or another drink to order, not a single trace of any affection, the one she used to know once…

But what was she expecting? She brought it on herself… Her one single decision made him shut off again, built up all those walls once again, not allowing himself for any trace of weakness. Not now. Not in front of her anymore.

“I’m working.” She answered simply.

“Oh yes, I see that. But since you don’t have a lot of customers, I think a little chat with someone who once considered you a friend wouldn’t take up too much of your precious time, huh?”

She winced, hearing his words. Friends…? They were so much more than that… She swallowed hard, dropping her gaze, not capable of looking at him. Friends… Every his word hurt, they hurt more than a thought of ever leaving him. Because she could always feed herself with hope that he did move on, he had a life, maybe even a happy one, but now all those illusions, helping her cope with waking up every day, were… gone. Elizabeth felt her hands started to tremble and she looked down at them, clearing her throat. For a longer moment she didn’t know what to say, what to do. Never, even in her wildest dreams she thought of a scenario where Drake would come and find her. She was never prepared for that and now she completely didn’t know what to do, how to behave.

“If you think you’ll get rid of me by ignoring me, then you’re mistaken, Harris…” He snorted, bringing her back to reality, crossing his arms and leaning them against the counter and Liz looked up at him. “I won’t leave until you talk to me.”

“And do you know that I have every right to ask you to leave if you won’t order something?” She raised her brow, now filled with frustration. He caught her off guard, showing like this and demanding things. And Liz couldn’t show how moved she was, she didn’t want to, putting up her own shields.

For a moment they were just looking at each other, the silent battle of gazes when finally Drake gave up.

“Fine. I’ll have whiskey.” He leaned back again, sighing and Elizabeth placed a glass in front of him, pouring him the golden liquid.

“Here.” She was trying to turn around when Drake grabbed her wrist, gently, yet firmly pulling her closer.

“You won’t get rid of me so easily, Harris. Not after everything you have done. You owe me an explanation.”

“Owe you? I don’t owe you anything. And we have nothing to talk about.” She tried to take her hand away but Drake’s grip grew stronger, when he leaned down towards her.

“Oh, really? Nothing at all? After everything that happened!?” He raised his voice, his eyes never leaving hers. “And what about all those times you told me that you want me, huh? What about that moment when you chose me over Liam? What about all those kisses we shared? Hell, Harris, we even slept together! And then you just… Disappeared like a ghost and you tell me that we have nothing to talk about!?” His voice was full of anger now and Liz looked around, afraid that some other guests may hear them. “Did really all those moments in between mean so little to you!? And what about the fucking bullet I took for you, risking everything to save your life? Is it also nothing!?”

“Drake…” She tried to interrupt him but he didn’t listen.

“Do you know how long it took me to find you? How many weeks have passed before I found you in that city? First I couldn’t even left Cordonia, they didn’t let me because of the wound I had, caused by the bullet I took for you. And when I came here…” He shook his head, a strange laughter escaping his lips. “Do you have any idea how long does it take to find one single waitress in this fucking city!? In how many bars I’ve been, showing your picture and hoping that someone would recognize you!? Do you know how feels the person, looking for a needle in the stick of hay!? Do you know what had I sacrificed to find you!?” Now he was almost shouting and customers sitting closer to them started to look discreetly into their direction.

“Drake!” Elizabeth snarled, interrupting his monologue. „Are you done?”

He was breathing heavily, finally releasing her wrist, his eyes never leaving hers. She was furious, angry because every his word hurt, piercing her heart almost like a sword, again and again. He had no right to come back into her life like that, bringing back the stings of remorse, reminding her how hard was to leave everything and everyone behind her. She thought she finally moved on, that she started to slowly learn how to live again, without the regrets haunting her every day. And now he was here, a reminder of a previous life, a reminder of what she had done. But deep in her heart she knew that he had every right to be angry at her, he had every right to tell her all those things. And part of her hated him for that, for reminding her how much she hated herself.

“No.” His voice interrupted her. “I am not done!” He banged his fist on the counter. “You know that I lost everyone I loved in my life before! My father, my sister and when I met you… I thought you will be by my side, just like I was by yours for all this time, and you did what? After all you left me too, just like them!”

“Then maybe you should ask yourself why people keep leaving you?”

Words left her mouth before she had a time to rethink them. Oh my God, she didn’t… And everything about him changed, he leaned back on his stool, the pure hurt visible on his face when he stared at her, almost not believing that those words left her lips. Elizabeth was looking at him, her eyes wide opened, her mouth slightly parted when she could only see how Drake clenched his jaw, his fingers gripping the glass of whiskey so tight that they were almost white now. What the hell has she done? How could she said that?

“I’m so sorry, Drake, I…” She stuttered. “I didn’t mean to, it was an accident, I swear, it just…”

“Yeah, well…” He suddenly shrugged, regaining his composure, once again putting up all those walls, pretending that he didn’t care, that her words didn’t hurt him at all. “Thanks for the whiskey, Harris…” With those words he put a few bills on the counter and stood up, leaving bar with not another word.

With her eyes wide open Elizabeth was watching how he simply left her bar, door closing behind his back. For a moment she could just… stare blankly at the wall, not knowing what to do, not really realizing what had just happened. Until her shock was replaced by pure anger. So that’s how he wanted to solve this, huh? Did he really think he’s the only one hurt?

Not thinking about any consequences, she got to the door and stormed off to the street. He wasn’t far, just a few meters ahead of her and Elizabeth ran to him in a few steps.

“Hey! Don’t you dare leave like that, we haven’t finished!” She shouted, grabbing his arm but Drake quickly shook her hand off.

“I think you’ve said enough.”

“Look, I said I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to say that, I was angry and… It just slipped out!”

“Sorry won’t fix this…” He murmured, still walking straight, not stopping, even when she grabbed his arm again. “Not this, not what you have done…”

“So what do you want me to say? Huh? That every day I regret what I had done? That I’m truly sorry for everything? That if I could turn back time I would do it without thinking twice? Because this is the truth, Drake and you know it!”

“You can say that you’re sorry a thousand times but it still won’t change anything! It’s too late to apologize!”

“So that’s why you came here?” She suddenly stopped, not having enough strength to chase him anymore. “To open up old wounds and just… leave!?”

“I came here for explanation! The one you still refuse to give me! I just want to know why was it so easy to leave me!?” He finally stopped and turned around to look at her.

“Easy!? It was never easy!” She shouted, spreading her arms with frustration. “It was the hardest decision of my life!”

“Oh yeah? It doesn’t look like that, I see that you've set yourself up pretty well.”

“Oh fuck you, Walker!” Words left her mouth without thinking, before she had a chance to bite her tongue but with some dose of satisfaction noticing that Drake looked at her surprised. “You know nothing about my life and my struggles! Do you really think you’re the only person hurt? That this didn’t affect me at all? What else can I say, what else can I do so you’d believe that I mean it!?”

“Just… Just tell me the truth! I just want to know if all those sleepless nights I spent wondering if I could stop you, were worth it! Do you know for how long was I wondering what have I done wrong? What did I do that made you leave? Why wasn’t I enough?”

“You were always enough!”

“So why? Why, Harris!?”

“Don’t you understand!? I did it to protect you!”

He blinked several times, probably never expecting this kind of answer.

“Protect me?” He repeated.

“You’ve been hurt because of me! Hell, Drake, you’ve been shot! Right in the chest! I barely lived through that, fearing that you might… die, and knowing it was all my fault. And then I started to think… What if one day you’d want to do this again? Save me? Feeling this stupid need of sacrificing yourself for me?“

“So… That was a way of sparing me pain, huh? Yeah, right, it really turned out great…” He snorted.

“But it was all my fault! Everything happened because of me! If I was the reason you were hurt, that you were fighting for your life… I had to leave! I had to make sure you won’t recklessly risk your life like that again!” She looked up at him, taking one step closer when he crossed arms on his chest. “What was I supposed to do!? What other choice did I have?”

“You could have come to me!” Drake looked at her once again, brows drew in pain. “Share your doubts with me! We could have made this decision together!”

“You wouldn’t have let me go!”

“No. I wouldn’t. Because running away is never a solution!”

“But if I stayed…”

“What would have happened? Huh? The end of the world?” He rolled his eyes.

“I…”

“You always accused ME of being selfish and now? Look what you have done! You ran away because you were so afraid of losing me! You chose the easier option of letting go instead of fighting. And I know you are a fighter, Harris, oh, I do know that. You wanted to spare me the pain!? You know nothing about my pain! I could stand the physical side of it, I could stand that hole burning in my chest, I could stand the thought of being hurt for you because at least I had a consolation that YOU were safe! But this pain? Right here? When you left?” He pressed finger to his chest, pointing to his heart. “Nothing could compare to it! Nothing, Harris! Nothing is worse than a pain of a broken heart who once loved too much!”

They stood there in silence, breathing heavily, both of them looking at each other with no words. For the very first time this evening Elizabeth could see how hurt Drake was. Like always he was trying to hide it but right here, right now he wasn’t capable of it, the hurt, her betrayal so visible in his eyes. She felt her heart clenched painfully when she realized that her sudden runaway hurt him a lot more than she could ever suppose; that when she tried so hard to make things right, she somehow managed to make them even worse. She looked up at him, knowing that there was no way of ever making things right, that with that one decision she probably lost him forever.

Elizabeth opened her mouth, taking a step closer to him, her hands almost involuntarily reaching out to him when she stopped abruptly and her hands fell heavily on both sides of her body. And then she felt tears on her cheeks, tears of anger, tears of regret when she understood that with her one stupid decision she destroyed the only chance of happiness in her life, she lost the only man she truly loved. Because she was too afraid of living without him and that’s exactly what made her lost him forever.

“You’re right…” She finally whispered, suddenly feeling powerless, all the anger slowly escaping, leaving her tired, so, so tired. “You are right, about everything… God, I did a terrible thing, didn’t I?” She turned her head to the side and closed her eyes for a moment, another tears falling down her face. “I was so afraid of losing you and…” She shook her head. And that’s exactly what made me lose you forever… “I am so, so sorry, Drake… If there was anything I could do, I’d do it. I know that it probably means nothing to you now, but… ” Her voice trailed off, words stuck in her  throat when a sob overtook her body.

She bit her lower lip, trying to stop the tears from falling but she couldn’t. She resisted them for so long, hid that pain for such a long time and she couldn’t do it anymore. She embraced herself with her arms, the only comfort she could get right now, still avoiding his sight, feeling so stupid for being so vulnerable in front of him.

Drake was just looking at her, not knowing what to do. On the one hand he wanted to grab her into his arms, hug her, tell her not to worry, ensure her that everything will be fine. But on the other hand… What she did… It still hurt. Her disappearance without a word, how she left him, and he couldn’t understand why, for such a long time. Now he at least knew but it didn’t make the pain piercing his heart any weaker… He looked up at her and frowned, another wave of pain surging through his body. He couldn’t stand the sight of her crying, no matter how much she hurt him, no matter how much he thought he hated her for this, this sight was… unbearable. Drake took a deep breath and hesitantly took a step towards her and another, until he was standing right in front of her. She still wasn’t looking at him but tears shining on her cheeks made him feel that irresistible urge of touching her, wiping them away with a single touch. And then he reached out to her, his arms closing around her shaking body when he pulled her closer, with no hesitation anymore. She stiffened under his touch, probably never expecting it but Drake only pressed his chin to the top of her head, tightening his embrace and finally Elizabeth started to relax under his touch. She slowly put her arms around his waist, snuggling into him, breathing in the familiar scent, the one she missed for such a long time and let herself for a moment forget about the pain, the anger. He was here, safe and sound, holding her in his arms, just like he always supposed to and it all just seemed so… right.

“We should have had this conversation months ago…” She murmured against his chest, her voice lost in the layers of his clothes. “Not now…”

“Yes… We should have…” He sighed, hesitantly placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “We definitely should…”

For a moment they stayed like that, each of them afraid to break this moment, afraid of coming back to the harsh reality of unspoken regrets. Until finally Drake sighed heavily.

“Maybe we should take this conversation somewhere else?” He said, rather murmured against the top of her head, almost like he was afraid of those words.

Elizabeth slowly took a step back, slipping out from his embrace and looked at him, her eyes wide opened, almost like she was surprised by this proposition, almost like she couldn’t believe in a possibility of getting the other chance. But one look into his eyes and she saw the glimpse of the old Drake, the one she knew, the one she hurt, the one with heart on a sleeve, because of her, just for her. And in that moment she let herself hope that maybe not everything was destroyed? Maybe it wasn’t the end? Maybe they could begin again? She smiled weakly, nodding her head.

“I think I know just the place…”

[peinde]

I'll try to give solid answers.

1) Sexuality? Pansexual. ((same 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Ariana Grande, moby, if only to quell t)(e rumours t)(at we look alike. ((IDK i don’t really have anyone 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. ”She arches )(er body like a cat on a stretc)(. She nuzzles )(er cunt into my face like a filly at t)(e gate. S)(e smells of the sea.” ((i don’t have any books near me ;n; 4) What do you think about most? My wife. ((adult cartoon TV wives, or if i’m angry, Bold and the Beautiful 5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? ”H3Y B4B3 W3R3 OUT OF PIZZ4 ROLLS >:[” ((”hey hun call me ASAP pls” 6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Wit)(out. ((with. i need to be ready to outrun zombies in the Canadian winter 7) What's your strangest talent? I can do voice impressions! ((i can’t make impressions, but i can make voices 8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence) Girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money~! Boys will laug)( at girls w)(en t)(ey’re not funny~! ((honestly...same 9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? A couple of times... ((nah 10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? Just now w)(en I answered number 8. ((same 11) Do you have any strange phobias? No? ((a TON 12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Yes, but only twelve times! ((no??? 13) What's your religion? Dick. (i’m technically Christian 14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Working, doing c)(ores, doing )(obbies, visiting friends or )(itting t)(e town. ((going to school or going to work 15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? In front. ((both 16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Don’t ever ask me t)(is again. ((i guess Mother Mother, but there are quite a few 17) What was the last lie you told? ... ((i can’t remember 18) Do you believe in karma? No. ((yes 19) What does your URL mean? I keysmas)(ed, because I didn’t know w)(at to type. ((it’s Peixes + Grande but that’s only OOC knowledge 20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is me wit)(out my wife. My greatest strengt)( is my wife. ((my greatest weakness: my lack of motivation. my strength: my ability to dream 21) Who is your celebrity crush? Jason Momoa! ((Kat Dennings 22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yup! ((nope! 23) How do you vent your anger? I tell me wife everyfin. ((hahaha, i don’t

24) Do you have a collection of anything? You could say t)(at... ((not really? 25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? P)(one. ((neither OMG 26) Are you happy with the person you've become? ... ((yeah. i mean i could be a lot worse off 27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? I don’t like nails on a c)(alkboard, but I do like nails tapping on a table. ((i fucking hate children crying, but i like anything that can basically be “white noise”, like the hum of a vacuum, or the working of a portable heater 28) What's your biggest "what if"? I don’t want to talk about t)(is. ((i don’t really think about those? i mean they didn’t happen. best to just move on 29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Believe in? I mean yea)( sure. T)(ey’re everyw)(ere. T)(ey’re real w)(et)(er I believe in t)(em or not... ((yes and yes 30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. I’m grasping air. Now, I’m touc)(ing my wife’s face. ((i touched my metal storage thingy. then the wall 31) Smell the air. What do you smell? My wife’s farts. ((nothing. just the way i like it 32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? )(ig)(sc)(ool. ((any public washroom ever 33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? West! ((East!!! 34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Does t)(e Rock count as a singer? ((IDK i used to have a crush on Pete Wentz 35) To you, what is the meaning of life? My wife. ((my Christian ass says God

36) Define Art. Out of my league. 38/ ((a necessity to man 37) Do you believe in luck? No. ((yes 38) What's the weather like right now? Sunny! ((rainy 39) What time is it? 8:23 PM ((11:23 PM 40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? No, and yes. ((no, and no 41) What was the last book you read? I’m currently reading Written on t)(e Body! ((i think it was a Sophie Kinsella book? 42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yes! ((yes 43) Do you have any nicknames? Lots of people call me “Fef”. ((i have many IRL nicknames, but everyone knows me by Tori 44) What was the last movie you saw? Fifty S)(ades Freed (illegally, obviously. I’m not paying for t)(at drivel.) ((Devil 45) What's the worst injury you've ever had? I’ve died, does t)(at count? ((i fell off the monkey bars at age 8 and landed right on my back 46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yes! ((no :( 47) Do you have any obsessions right now? I )(ave many, t)(e most important being my wife. ((i guess? i’m always obsessed with something 48) What's your sexual orientation? Wasn’t t)(is asked before? ((yeah 49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Yes... ((yes... 50) Do you believe in magic? Again, it’s real, so yea)(. ((yup! 51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Nope! ((Fef you fucking liar yes you do. and yes i do 52) What is your astrological sign? Cancer! ((Pisces!!! 53) Do you save money or spend it? Spend. ((both 54) What's the last thing you purchased? Pizza rolls for my wife. ((a bracelet off Aliexpress 55) Love or lust? Love! ((love 56) In a relationship? Yes! ((nope! 57) How many relationships have you had? I lost count. ((1 58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Yes! ((nope! 59) Where were you yesterday? At work. ((at home 60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes! ((yup! 61) Are you wearing socks right now? No? ((yup! 62) What's your favorite animal? My princesses...plus you know, t)(e entire ocean. ((any sea creature 63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Kindness! ((oh i don’t give a fuck 64) Where is your best friend? Doing activities you s)(ould NOT be questioning. ((online...talking to me 65) Spit or swallow?(; Swallow, you coward! ((i’ve never had the opportunity to do either 66) What is your heritage? Alternian! ((i’m black Caribbean 67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? 38;3c ((i was on this hellsite 68) What do you think is Satan's last name? Natas??? ((meanie-bo-beanie 69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Obviously??? ((obviously??? 70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yea)(! ((sure, why not? it’d mean i’ll know someone who shares my musical interests 71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I’ve never been late to work? Plus, it’s a legitimate reason??? ((i’ve worked at my job for far too long and have rarely ever been late, especially too rarely for her to keep track. this argument would be completely baseless. also, it’s a legitimate reason??? 72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? It’d probubbly be fake, so no I wouldn’t say anyfin. I’d just wait until I could revive, and no I wouldn’t be afraid, you fucking coward. ((i’d tell everyone, IDK what i’d do. probably pray, sleep maybe, oh i’d be terrified 73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. 38( ((trust 74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Be Alrig)(t by Ariana Grande ((Arizona Highway by the Darcys 75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 3838 ((i’m not telling you??? 76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Being in one like mine and Zi-Zi’s ((communication 77) How can I win your heart? --Exist. ((LOOOL good luck buddy 78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? It sure can! ((i guess! 79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Getting married. ((going to therapy 80) What size shoes do you wear? 6 ((10 81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? “Finally”. ((”i’ll be back” 82) What is your favorite word? Glub! ((intricate 83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Zi-Zi. ((organs 84) What is a saying you say a lot? Glub! ((”for fuck’s sake” 85) What's the last song you listened to? Girls and Boys by Good C)(arlotte ((same 86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? Baby pink, lig)(t blue, lilac, mint green. ((rose gold, burgundy, olive, turquoise, black, eggplant, fuchsia 87) What is your current desktop picture? Zi-Zi. ((on my laptop? default mountains. on my PC? Mother Mother 88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? ??? I don’t know! ((Donald Trump, probably 89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? ...t)(ere are a lot. ((”are you straight” 90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? Go back to sleep. ((flip TF out and run 91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? W)(at would I want t)(at I don’t already )(ave? ((flight 92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Being revived. ((??? none of it? leave that shit in the past my dude 93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? --Everyfin from t)(e time I was revived onward. ((what did i just say? 94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? T)(ere are so many options... ((??? 95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? New Zealand! ((Paris 96) Do you have any relatives in jail? I mig)(t, w)(o knows. ((probably 97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yup! ((no, but i almost did! 98) Ever been on a plane? Yup! ((yup! 99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Most of t)(e fins I already say. ((”i can’t wait for the apocalypse”

[sociallyawkward--fics]

Blueberry blue, mauvelous, cosmic cobalt, rose dust, cornflower, shadow blue, World Wide Web yellow, glossy grape, candy apple, Granny Smith apple, robins egg blue, shocking pink, asparagus. (I know you said not to apologise but there are so many I asked) -H

(lol it’s fine!!! I like the attention!!)

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?

Ummm, I honestly don’t know? Like, it’s hard to tell because 98% of the time there’s just this undercurrent of negative feelings. I guess it’s not incredibly easy to deliberately make me sad, though? I mean, after a while you start to get numb to certain types of hurt lol.

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?

When I’m thinking clearly, that’s a big thought I have. When I get bad, I talk myself into believing that I deserve this lol.

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?

I am on the change date between Sagittarius and Scorpio, so I can be both/either. Honestly, though, I don’t buy into all that horoscope stuff. Like, there are aspects of all of them that apply to me, but I don’t fit into any of their neat little boxes (big shocker, with a freak like me lol). Unless it’s as a joke, I’m not hugely into the zodiac/astrological signs stuff. I’ll take my legit astronomy over that pseudoscience, thank you lol (no offense to people who are into it!!)

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.

Memes, trash, and space.

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?

My love for my friends/my friends in general, cosplay, writing, fandoms

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?

I mean, probably. There are obviously thoughts I never share because I don’t want to worry people. Plus, there’s still parts of me that are abusive and I’m still trying to fix that. I’m not a great person, but I’m not a “dark” person either. Like, yeah I’m morose and negative and pessimistic, but I try really hard not to be bad.

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?

The Sanders Sides ao3 tag lol

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.

Check out my good dude @wisepuma23, their fic is great

Check out my good dude @metaphoricalpluto, their art is great

Check out my good dude @shatteringangels, their WIP novel is great

Check out some cosplay accounts (luminousfoxcosplay (my buddy yessss), actualyohane, ashuri_senpai) on Instagram for some great content

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?

Um, I’m not sure. I mean, I’m in a bad headspace right now (I was already feeling bad and then I read some stuff with Deceit as a Big Character and Love Triangles with my bois and now I’m like Wow, Bad Idea), so I kinda feel like no one sees me as great since I don’t see me as great. Like, I’m annoying and I spam social media too much because I have a social media addiction and I’m attention-hungry for no stupid reason. Like, idk why you all follow me lol (oh wow now my mom is talking about the Fifty Shades franchise in the other room and I can hear it and I feel worse lol

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?

Ummm, idk.

I messaged my (friend) family group chat and responses were:

Child/cuddle buddy: “I mean, I’m inclined to say giraffe, but that’s because of tall people.”

Youngest son: “my brain immediately went to porpoise, idk why. im not reading into it lol”

Middle son (one of two in the middle): “I really don’t know”

So there we have it. I’m some sort of weird giraffe-porpoise hybrid lol

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?

Maybe my anger. People don’t expect me to get angry as easily as I do because I try so hard to be pleasant all the time, even if I’m not feeling pleasant, so even when I’m angry I’m often smiling through it so as to not scare people away. When I drop the smile, people get freaked out.

I’ve also SERIOUSLY shocked people with my Hamilton knowledge lol. Like, I guess I just look too nerdy for it? Too “nice Christian girl” for it? Idk.

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?

Virgil is the big spoon way more often than he is the little spoon. He prefers to hold rather than be held.

[briteboy]

LITERALLY SO MANY QUESTIONS AND THIS IS ONLY HALF OF THEM 

lmao RIP me (now u know why i take so long to answer)

do you know the game what remains of edith finch? its really fantastic, I just finished the part with lewis, his whole situation with reality reminded me of santi. just wanted to tell you :)

surprisingly no i haven’t ever heard of it! :O but now i’m intrigued, i googled it and i’m reading up on it hehe thank you for telling me, u learn something new every day :~}

Hello femmesim! I'm a new simblr & I see you get a lot of notes on your great story! I guess this probably means you have a lot of followers too. I was wondering if you follow them all back. If not do you check out your followers & how do you decide which ones to follow back? What don't you like. What would make you unfollow them? Oops that was a lot lol!

iiiiiiiii honestly haven’t even looked at my actual followers page in a loooooong time, even on my personal blog i was never good with that lol. i just can’t keep up with everyone and i don’t want to feel obligated to follow everyone back because that would be way too many posts on my dashboard all the time y’know. it sounds mean but...ajksdgdsf i WISH i could follow everyone back but itsjustnotrealistic

tbh i follow people back when they reach out to me, make an effort to engage with me, send me messages, reply, or just frequently interact with my posts because it gets my attention and shows their personality. i don’t mean that as in like...”you can’t be my friend unless you give me notes” (LMFAO NO) i mean it as in like i’m fcking oblivious and it’s too much work for me to go out of my way and check out every single blog that follows me :{ but i love messaging and communicating through replies so even if you’re nervous pleeeease step out of your comfort zone, i promise i’m like a pretty good OK human being and i try to make funny jokes so talking to me isn’t that bad i promise.

as for your other questions...tbh i dunno, i like blogs that interest me. (duh...lmao what kind of answer even is that) i usually go for people that show their personalities in their posts (go figure), like memes (lmfao), have an intriguing aesthetic, HONESTLY IDK...i follow a lot of diverse blogs tbh, not just ones that are similar to mine. i only unfollow ppl if i have no memory of following them and their content doesn’t interest me, if they say/do something that irks or angers me (that’s only happened like twice tho), or if they post like EXCESSIVE nsfw...i didn’t sign up for that lmao

i hope i don’t sound like an asshole for all this but it’s just like...i can’t deny i get a lot of attention on here. and i never expected it so i’m pretty unprepared for it lmao. i try my best tho :{ just reach out to me and we’ll probably be frands ok

so many feelings

I just wanted to say how much I love your blog but to the Anon who said how she looks white if she's Hispanic. Not all hispanics are brown haired and tan. I'm Puerto Rican and I'm blonde and have blue eyes. Hispanics come in different tones and what nots :)

hell0 thank you <3 yeah hispanic people are very diverse, especially with varying nationalities, and especially with puerto ricans. i personally know a lot of puerto ricans who are white passing so it’s really not that uncommon. everyone’s different, and as eir said, white passing POC are still POC!

papa ya - sunny ; thats your song boo lol

OOH i actually like this...i’m boppin my head rn lmao thank u

So basically the last anon is saying hispanics can't be 'white'? I know many 'white' hispanics???

i don’t wanna twist their words, i think they just meant molly looks ethnically white and i understand that, i’m not denying she’s white passing but tbh...idk, if she wasn’t my own sim i’d look at her and kinda know she’s not 100% white y’know. she has features that don’t look european. plus the fact that i’ve posted her speaking spanish before soooo. anyway yeah it’s very possible for a hispanic person to literally have white skin but that doesn’t mean they’re ethnically white

well if she has family from spain it's normal for them to have blonde hair and green eyes, so i mean that could make sense.

she could, who’s to say lol. it’s rly not that deep tho, she’s half white, half puerto rican, das it. but yeaah there is a wide array of genetic possibilities for every race! who’da thunk it

Hey, I'm a new reader, is it possible you could link some earlier parts to your story. You don't have to if it's problem though I know how tumblr be. I love the visuals style of your sims. That's what caught my eye. I also was wondering what editing program would you suggest. I kinda want to test out editing my sims.

heyo i summed up the story here and here and there’s a lot of posts of key events linked in there! thank you though, that’s so kind ;-; <3 wellll the only editing program i use is photoshop cs6 so i’d recommend that haha. you can find it for free pretty easily, but if you’re not into that, there are plenty of other programs you can use. i know a lot of ppl on here use gimp. 

hi! I need advice and idk where to get it from but you seem like a really good person who has some wisdom lol! so basically i'm in a big financial situation. I had a good paying job but it made me have anxiety and panic attack because i hated it so much. and i quit my job before i had another job lined up. So my bank account is very close to being completely empty and i have bills and i have to move soon. I NEED ADVICE OR SOMEONE TO TELL ME ITS GOING TO BE OK.

omg first of all i’m so touched that you even came to me with this wtf ;___; ily

second of all it IS going to be ok, you shouldn’t force yourself to do something you hate if it’s really impeding on your mental health that much. it’s not good for you in the long run, even if it pays well. like, at what cost do you want to sell yourself in order to make money? my point is you made a good decision but lacked the foresight, which luckily is something that can be remedied easily. (well...hopefully, but job hunting is never easy :\ ) if you’re still in this situation by the time your bills and everything catch up to you, you can always seek help from family and friends or look into loans...find someone (or multiple people) who will stick by you and support you through this, because this is something way too hard to do alone. (if you don’t have anyone, i’m here for you ;-; ) i honestly don’t have any good advice for finding another job because tbh that’s something i always flounder in, and i’m gonna have to do the same thing by the time i finish up school in the next month AHHHHH

i’m prayin 4 both of us, but you especially <3

Hi!!! sorry i remember seeing an ask about Lou's eyelashes but i cannot find it :((( could you please tell me where can i find it???

hey she just uses the kijiko ones! sometimes if it’s a closeup i use these eyelash brushes tho

hi! sorry, this is a weird question but i thought you could help maybe.... i recently started playing ts4 again, but when i am in cas, there is a weird shine on all cc hairs.... do you have a solution for this? thank you in advance!

hmmmmm i kinda get a weird shiny glitch too but it’s only with certain things, and it’s usually remedied by clicking on the sim’s different outfit categories until it goes away lol. but if it’s on ALL of the hairs...hmm...i’m assuming you’re talking about alpha? because i don’t think clay hairs usually have that problem. check if laptop mode is on, if it is, turn it off!! that’s the only solution i can think of :{

i feel like too many people are reading too deeply into things. either way i love your work and just read the entire thing in a day and i love you so much idek.

i think this was sent when i was getting messages about my dialogue haha. i mean i definitely understand their points in saying it has too many realistic vocal quirks, but tbh that’s what i like about it, and i think that’s part of the reason people connect with it. idk. but thank you so much ily ;__;

hi i just wanted to ask how do you manage your time and how do you post frequently without feeling overworked and overwhelmed ? do you have some sort of schedule, because you seem very organized lol . tysm for answering <3 !

hmmmmm how? um poorly LMAO

no but really...it’s hard. i’m glad i’m so into this story/eager to see all your reactions to it because otherwise the chaos of my life would’ve definitely deterred me from moving along with it a while ago. that’s basically the reason i’m so surprised i even made it this far tbh. i accomplished so much more than i ever thought i would. ;__;

i don’t have an answer for this question because i DO often feel overwhelmed and i have to take a step back and remind myself it’s not the end of the world if i don’t have time to go in game or edit or whatever. i think it’s because i set up this timeline for myself in terms of goals i want to reach with my story throughout the rest of the year and i get frustrated with myself when those plans become delayed because of other obligations. (for example i definitely thought baby wallace would’ve been born by now lmao syke) i was getting burnt out very easily before, which is why i’ve been taking it slower lately (that and i’ve been working a lot more so i don’t have as much free time as i used to :\ ) the good thing about having different characters tho is that when i get burnt out on one thing i can just switch over to another thing at an opportune time (which is what i’ve always done with santi and girooni)

anyway yeah i am kinda organized (in my own weird way) in terms of story planning, controlling the pacing and key events, and that’s definitely the reason i’m able to post so frequently. i used to have multiple free days a week where i could go in game for long amounts of time and get lots of scenes done at once, but at this point in my current schedule i just basically go in game whenever i'm free from the clutches of capitalism (jk we’re never free save us bernie) which means i only have time to do like one thing in game but it seems to be working just as well so far.

.............i’m how i wrote a novel to answer this

im glad i pretty much got it. i can really relate to everything going on. i can see a lot of myself in santi and molly & i get it. the movies make you think you fall in love and everythings fixed like they fill that void in your soul and i mean sure they fill parts of it but you need to do that yourself and not rely on someone else. Your story is real and you can tell your writing from personal experience because theres so much feeling. u think ur fixing urself and u end up more hurt in the end

i’m so glad you can relate ;-; i think that’s one of my proudest accomplishments so far. i mean santi has always been relatable for me because he IS me...or at least partly me, just like all my characters are. but i never thought anyone else would feel the same way, so it means so much to me that people enjoy him as a character because of that.

anyway YES exactly. i hate the “no one’s going to love you if you don’t love yourself” mentality, i think it’s a toxic way of looking at the benefits of genuine self love. the sentiment behind it is true, but it’s a backwards way of looking at it. someone’s else’s love shouldn’t be your motivation, your own love toward yourself should be your motivation. when you look at it in the other way, you do end up getting more hurt in the end.

lol anons back the frick off, that scene is perfect, santi is perfect, sunny is perfect, the stuttering is perfect THIS BLOG IS FREAKIN PERFECT

oMG i appreciate the support, but i don’t blame those people for having issues with my dialogue hahahha. i know it’s kind of different and weird but it just feels right for me when i write it so i go with it. i rly like santi’s stuttering tho so *shrugs* THANK YOU THO ILY <333

hey! I was wondering if you have any tips on making(?) light leaks in photoshop? idk if you've answered this already bc I'm on mobile, buT if u have I'll just check when I get on my computer next !!! Thanks !

ummM I DON’T ACTUALLY because i get all my light leaks off google lmao. i have a folder of all the ones i’ve collected over time lmao

you could probably easily make some with the paintbrush in overlay mode with varying opacities tho? i’ve tried to replicate this a few times actually, but the rest of the time i just use light leaks made by other people lol

Do you enjoy more playing the game or taking the photos/making the story? Do you play challenges?

LATELY i’ve been just enjoying playing the game because i’ve gotten burnt out on story things and just playing is such a nice break from it haha. whenever i have to wait in game for it to be a certain time of day for story purposes, i go play with girooni for a few sim hours to pass the time and it’s fun for me lmao. i’m looking forward to my story winding down so i can get back to doing more gameplay things like i did before but at the same time i’ll always do at least something story related because i like the sense of direction it gives y’know.

i’ve never actually tried any challenges, not even just regular old legacies because i would always either get sick of the sims i was playing with or get too attached to them and not want to go to a new generation lmao. i was never interested in any challenges tbh. i like watching other people do bachelor(ette) challenges tho heheh

WHEN DID SANTI BECOME SUCH A STRONK BOI also you are so sweet we don't deserve you??? You are a blessing I love you thank you for doing this aaaaa ;;; you are an inspiration I hope I can do what you do too! OK BYE HAVE A NICE DAY ❤️❤️❤️

OMG HE’S ALWAYS BEEN SECRETLY STRONK (i’m assuming this is about how he beat ugly stepdad to a pulp lmao) he mostly gets his strength from anger and an adrenaline rush. a BLESSING WHAT!!!!!! YOU’RE SO SWEET ILY ;__; don’t thank me, i’m just doin what i love <3 have a nice day/night/rest of your life ily

But why are ur anons so needy lol isn't that like ur third one angry that u haven't responded

ugh i feel bad because i get it, i do, i understand it hurts when you reach out to someone multiple times and you get ignored, but i don’t do it on purpose and i have explained, many times, the plenty of valid reasons why i can’t respond to 100% of my messages. i’m actually trying to answer all of my message right now with these mass answer posts and it’s REALLY a lot for me to go out of my way and do this. so i’m trying ok. but like i’m only a person ajhsdghjdfjhk i can only give so much attention to this y’know. please be patient

from this moment on we should all proceed to take cautions around ppl named dan.... TAINTED

I KNO RIGHT...dan is such an ugly boring name (no offense to the dans of the world) but like if you’re a dane you’re probably evil or are the human embodiment of cardboard

I can not say it enough. Great story. It's life. And life is beautiful, loving, refreshing and sometimes it can be harsh & scary. You take the good with the bad. I look forward to what comes next. --"Run away, run far away" nony (I have to start thinking of new tag line, because I am diggin Santi and Lou together) :)

HELLO FRIEND i kinda love that you keep coming back ehehe. and i’m glad you’re enjoying it so much ;___; these words are so kind and genuine, thank you so much <3333 OMG i’m glad you like santou as well even though they’re on a slow decline right now. i’m really excited about what i have planned in the future tho

omggggg my theory is the first one on that list you posted!! i'm so happy for that but also sad bc of what's going on with molly and santi and i hope that santi will finally just be happy soon. love you and your sims (except step dad dan) 💕💕

OOH HELLO YES you basically guessed everything that happened up until this point hahaha congratulations <33 santi will be happy...eventually. it’s going to be a long hard road in getting there tho. i hope you’ll all be satisfied in the end

fuck you dan stepdad