#plus i hc she's the only one who actually GOT therapy

[nicolefirekitty]

i wonder if anyone has ever made a danny phantom and the world ends with you crossover?

both series focus around death and how it affects people(moreso fanon in dp's case but i digress), so i think the concept of the infinite realms and the underground and real ground, plus the implied other layers(grounds?), could fit together nicely. infinite realms are called that for a reason after all, and a big reason why danny phantom (the concept) can crossover with so much other media.

and yes, obviously shibuya and illinois(?) are really seriously far apart, so how could the characters possibly interact? simple; the fentons go yokai hunting for the summer.

jack and maddie for some reason deduce yokai are real(debatable) and must be from the ghost zone. so they go on a vacation to japan to hunt them down, dragging their kids with them because it is a vacation after all.

through whatever circumstances, danny and jazz meet and interact with the twewy characters. danny definitely notes them as "dead-adjacent", while jazz clocks them as all needing serious therapy, which like "Yeah! We know! Our trauma is Special™!". but she has experience with dealing with her brother and his "death trauma"(which he vehemently denies having). also i think it would be funny if danny was able to bounce back and forth between the rg and ug, actively bullying reapers.

ellie could come too! she'd probably love making joshua's life hell (you go girl)

whether or not the drs fenton find actual yokai? who knows. danny probably.

[salon-maiden-anabel]

the more i think about your mom lucy hc, the more i really adore it. if you don't mind me asking questions about it, what's her general dynamic with kieran & carmine? is she a single mom? how does dahlia fit into the picture?

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO MY BRAINS BEEN. TRYING . the thoughts are disconnected but by god there are thoughts everything below the readmore

But! Hi hello welcome to Oh lord this family needs therapy and counselling . ! Honestly I have been going into everything with the idea of her being a single mom w/ them! It;s very much a situation of like.... Parent that works away from home constantly, so the relationship is just unfortunately naturally more strained kinda thing .

With all this i go with like.... The idea that they were very much born in Hoenn and lived there with Lucy until Carmine was approximately 9 or so, and Kieran was 7 [I do like to imagine they're 16 and 14 respectively as of the dlcs]. Work being so remote and stuff plus worrying about their education and all just led to living with their grandparents in Kitakami being the best decision for their development as yknow, People. I like to imagine Lucy visits periodically throughout the year and such to check in :> just takes a bit of coordinating. Also shes absolutely the reason they're able to go to blueberry for highschool via both making sure they Can go there financially and putting a word in to a battle focused school of them being kids of a facility head :p even if realistically Lucy isnt the strongest head by any means lol . it's kinda like if an E4 member put a good word in situation. And we can see with Lacey and Drayton both going there... gestures. I wouldnt be surprised if more children of different league figures go to it or schools LIKE it. But thats besides the point Lucy absolutely like, struggles with her emotions and such. Even from the small bits of dialogue we have from her? Maybe its just my autistic ass reading too much into it LMAO but . gestures .

i feel like if this werent a kids game she'd just tell you to fuck off to your face here

sorry just more quick looking too much into dialogue but. cmon. CMON. ...She's . definitely influenced how carmine and kieran act at least somewhat .

Carmine might be the easiest to point a finger to as being like her mom but i genuinely think that it;s actually Kieran who ended up the most Like her, yknow it;s incredibly obvious to point a finger at Kieran during indigo disk and how he talks as being her fault a little bit :p anyways thats just me vaguely mumbling abt that. AS FOR. DYNAMICS. Kieran isnt as close to his mom as Carmine is just due to everything with living with their grandparents. Theres also absolutely like.... Very much a gap because he stopped seeing her as much when he was younger, while Carmine was only a year off of being like. Legally start being a pokemon trainer age. And its just Awkward, relation wise, just because of how little she actually sees them through the years, especially when the discussion would slowly shift to more "How are your studies?" "How are you doing in school?" "How is your pokemon training going?" once they start going to blueberry. Which i don't think was ment to come off as uncaring for them and only focusing on training as it did from Lucy's end, but I dont really think she knew what else to ask and all, because she stopped being able to really pick up on their interests as much as they got older. Plus thats just kinda How she talks... With the importance on strength and luck n all that. Then with all this I imagine she like. Probably only called once maybe twice between the dlc plots n all? And once again with just mainly the training questions it was just a sour spot. I wouldn't doubt Kieran would also struggle with not wanting to be in a shadow/the nepo baby accusations /j that I fully think if Drayton knows about he'd tease him and Carmine about. So like. All that with the instilled importance of ones strength :sob: Lucy you were not helping the Kieran situation. Hell I don't really think she would of even known about anything going down between Kitakami to Blueberry with Kieran just because neither of them wanted to tell her at all? Because again just that Awkward connection between them, just the permanent fog on all communication that feels like someone said something wrong at all times and it got too awkward to finish. IDK I think im waffling on I don't know how to formulate my thoughts the best LMFAO BUT I THINK... DYNAMICS WOULD CHANGE POST-MOCHI MAYHEM ESP. Bc i KNOW she'd find out after carmine and kieran nearly fucking DIE in the underdepths and everything hits her in the back of her head at once that she needs to repair what she can w/ them because she almost lost them. Probably means taking an extended leave from working at the Pike so she doesn't have to worry about scheduling to see them in person for only a short period of time. Especially if the times line up for them having any extended break from school . It's never going to be perfect, far from it, with their dynamics and all but. gestures. Briar needs to sleep with one eye open for a bit at least. in short

AS FOR. DAHLIA im in turbo hell because I can not see? the siblings ending up like they did if she was also around? Shes such a force of positivity as a person im just. blinks a bit. Im in hell bc i adore the ship as my big rarepair ill die on a hill for but nobody expected the kitakami siblings especially not me so . i think if they ever do get together it'd be somewhere nearer to scarvio era which just. yeah. see image below

[ayakurawashere]

I just made some HCs !!!!

Please don't come at me for this!

HxH Headcanons

Kalluto's HCs

When everything's peaceful and all problems are no longer existing Kurapika kinda adopts Kalluto and helps Kalluto understand what love actually is by showing him and making him feel he is loved because he thought and belived/ gaslighted himself/or kikyo gaslighted him that gas lighting,manipulation, being abusive, and being a pawn/being something his parents can use was love (the poor baby😭)

Kalluto and Feitan bond over being quiet and loving origami

Kurapika is the first person on his speed dial

Feitan is second person on his speed dial

Kalluto is like a little brother to Feitan

Feitan still questions him if he's really not a girl

Feitan loves ruffling his hair (he'll pretend he hates it but he actually loves it)

Feitan has cute nicknames for Kalluto, although unexpected from Feitan he only does it because Kalluto will act annoyed(he actually loves it) plus he loves seeing Kalluto mad/annoyed his cutethat way💗

Kurapika is Kalluto's go to person when he feels troubled (only when Feitan's not around)

Sometimes even if he is troubled he won't show it but Feitan always knows

Feitan always comforts him in his own weird little way

Kalluto respects Killua and Allukas will to be free from the clutches of the Zoldyck family so he leaves them alone

Kalluto lies to Kikyo about not knowing where Killua and Alluka's locations even when he does so they (the Zoldyck family) won't disturb them

In the arc where the trio barge in the Zoldyck family's estate to save killua,on the scene where he stares at them , he actually leaves a letter with hints on where Killua was, how to get past the butlers, on how many cameras they are, how to deal with Illumi etc. (So he basically risked his life for them, and he wrote the letter before he and Kikyo went on that walk because he overheard that Killua's friends were coming, and that they were gonna save kil ) Kurapika was the one who picked it up

Killua and Alluka don't know about this though, he told Kurapika in the letter to keep it secret from everyone else.

Kalluto has a feeling that Killua held a grudge against him for letting his family lock up Alluka without doing something to stop it, and Killua does ,so when he found out he puts in a pile in the corner of his mind called " trauma center" where he puts all his trauma in a trauma pile

He didn't really wanna help lock Alluka up but he didn't have a choice

Growing up he got slapped a lot by his mom, so whenever someone raised their hand he flinches immediately,some people don't notice it but Feitan always does so he's always there to comfort him

He really loves Alluka but is kinda jealous of the attention she receives from Killua

Illumi noticed this and comforted him

Illumi is very kind to him when his parents aren't around

Kalluto stayed with the Spiders(if they even make it alive) even when he stopped chasing his older brother Killua and sister Alluka

Kalluto has some mental issues(it is canon though, considering the toxic household he grew up in) therefore Kurapika becomes his therapy friend and vice versa.

The End !!!!

[padfootastic]

Can I please rant for a bit? One thing that really irks me when it comes to how the fandom sees Sirius is that he was somehow mediocre at magic. He became an Animagus, McGonagall says he's 'exceptionally bright' and Slughorn calls him 'talented', plus Dumbledore says he is 'clever' and what he did was 'extraordinary' (as in, he became an Animagus at fifteen). Oh yeah, he also helps make the Marauder's Map and retains his magic in Azkaban (Dementors are supposed to drain away power). He summons six objects at once, he displays healing skills, duels Dolohov and Bellatrix (and only lost bc he got cocky + Bellatrix was a decade or so older so she fought the entirety of the war, talk about pure talent), two of the most dangerous DE after being rusty for twelve years, almost cracks the GOF plot on scraps of newspapers. He even shows knowledge of very abstract and rare magic ('the reverse spell effect?'). His idea of fun with his mates was basically cartography and the height of complex self-transfiguration, they were all nerds. I'm sure if he'd had the chance he'd have been so dangerous and a bloody extraordinary wizard, like there's the Dumbledore/Grindelwald/Voldemort and Sirius and James are directly behind them. I have no doubt Remus wasn't lying when he said 'they were the cleverest students in the entire school'. I wouldn't be surprised if him and James (and Lupin I guess) also invented spells like Snape. It sounds like their idea of fun. Oh yeah, they were also well-versed in hexes and jinxes that they knew obscure illegal ones like the Bertram Aubrey head enlargement hex. But they think he's an idiot bc he acts recklessly when he's very emotionally compromised and mad with grief/depressed. That's not idiocy, that's a man who needs therapy. Sorry for making this so long feel free to ignore it was just therapeutic to write. But like the amount of times I've seen Sirius and James ask Lily for help on the Marauder's Map is mind boggling, they literally didn't need it.

anon, you have my whole heart rn. feel free to rant in my ask/inbox anytime u want. in fact, i’m actually requesting u to do it more bc this was so articulate i actually don’t have a lot to say for once lol

(a while ago, i did a character bingo where i ticked off sumn like ‘terrified of them in real life’ or something for sirius. there’s a very good reason for that lol)

i honest to god cannot deal with the whole ‘stupid sirius’ thing. thankfully i don’t see it as often now as i used to it man, even one fic w is one too many for me. it’s just so,,,,jarring ykno? because his intelligence wasn’t just tell but very, very show and to still bypass all that and genuinely believe he was stupid is just rly weird to me. and it’s often hand in hand with all the drama queen characterisation and everything i’ve ranted about before which just makes it so much worse.

and god. the marauders were honestly nerds. it’s a wonder they were cool (i mean, we don’t know if they were but i definitely hc it so. ykno) bc look at these fucking idiots. everyone is spending time fucking around while they’re playing around with advanced, extremely dangerous & illegal magic. i love that sm for them. honestly, i find it perfectly plausible they could have invented spells (maybe their own for the map?) but i also love them picking up obscure or tricky magics. like, i have this hc that j&s could duel w both hands bc they trained for a scenario where that could happen. or sirius started etching runes before he was taught formally. just,,,small things like that ykno?

[narabea06]

So a lot of people wanted more of the Fateful Family AU, so alright, here's more info on it-

________________

- Percy had no idea Molly was her niece until she stopped by the toy store after the stuff at the museum and met her dad. She was very upset at Martin for cutting contact, but Martin just shrugged it off and ignored her basically

- Everyone knows "Gio" is actually Giovanni, except for Percy. Percy has said that he looked and sounded familiar, but every time that happened, everyone changed the subject. Sylvie is so close to just revealing who Giovanni is, but decided not to for Molly's sake

- Sylvie's bio mom was never really a great mom, and sorta was a tough love type of mom, and Sylvie ended up distancing from her a lot as he got older

- Molly's bedroom and Sylvie's office are right next to each other, and often Molly will go in to hang out with Sylvie while he works. Sylvie always enjoys the company

- Sylvie was really hesitant to accept Percy as his stepmom and still kinda is, but one thing that is nice between the two and that Percy is a great listener and will listen to Sylvie when he rambles

- Loralei and Martin do visit sometimes bc they realized that they sorta missed Molly, but Ramsey doesn't exactly let them stay long

- Ramsey is genuinely trying as a dad/uncle. It's been really difficult, especially with Sylvie since he is still upset at him, but he's trying. He ends up cooking for everyone in the morning usually, he listens when the kids are having problems, he tries his best to protect them when he can- He's really trying.

- Percy and Ramsey started working together on cases after Redwood Run, and Percy even had Ramsey stay in her apartment with her as a way to keep an eye on him. That's how they ended up getting even closer and getting to know each other more. By now since it's been about a year, Ramsey is mostly trusted now by the police.

- So, in this AU, it is one year into the future. So Molly is 13, Sylvie is 16, Giovanni is 20, and Percy, Zora, and Ramsey are their respectful ages

- Giovanni and Car Crash drive Molly to and from school everyday, and also pick her up to hang out with the other Banzai Blasters. Often Molly will drag Sylvie with her

- Trixie and Pheeny come over a lot to hang out with Molly, tho Pheeny does like hanging with with Sylvie bc sheep, and Trixie has a sorta father-daughter like friendship with Ramsey

- Ramsey is the main cook of the house due to Percy not actually knowing how to make proper meals, Sylvie only knows how to make ramen and tea, and Molly forgetting to eat.

- Percy loves eating the food Ramsey makes, but still in the morning eats the same thing: water and plain toast. Ramsey f**king hates it and is trying so hard to get her to try something different for breakfast. Percy always refuses.

- Ramsey loves doing drawings of everyone, and usually, everyone's birthday presents from him are drawings

- Despite Ramsey not really having a bounty on his head anymore, Zora still likes making his life miserable. She will straight up crash events they have, show up to dinner, scare the kids, etc. She just show up at the house and everyone is tired of her sh*t, but they can't exactly do anything bc she has such a terrifying epithet. Plus, she usually doesn't much beside mess with Percy and Ramsey and cause mayhem

- Molly is getting therapy, and Sylvie told her she's not allowed to refuse it- (He didn't actually force her, he just sorta explained to her that she seriously needed it, and she caved in-) He's not the one giving her therapy for the sake of her having privacy, but she is getting therapy. Percy and Giovanni also encouraged her to as well, which was sorta the thing that helped her finally decide to really go-

(Btw, if you have a specific thing you want me to make hcs for in this AU, feel free to ask for it! Also, I might make a few playlists for this AU if anyone is interested-)

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

if you share fluffy/comforting hcs i will be your bestfriend

Come here, we need some soft content after all the angst happening with the League:

Kurogiri likes bees and he turns into a beekeeper. He buys a house some time away from the city, where he can be at peace.

Mr. Compress let's Toga decorate his prosthesis with stickers. They clean it after certain time so she can decorate it all over again.

Spinner teaches Tomura how to drive every Friday in an empty parking lot. The kids from class 1-A take turns going with them and they record the whole thing. People is really into that, specially when they get Bakugo screaming at both of them for being terrible at driving. After every session, Tomura buys them ice-cream and they sit around while he asks what have they been doing at UA.

Dabi goes with Natsuo when he decides to get his first tattoo. Actually, they end up getting matching tattoos as a promise to never get apart again. Shoto wants one two but Fuyumi is making him wait until he's 21 years old.

Eri once sees Toga smiling and she goes to hug her, telling her that crying is okay too. Everyone goes deadly quiet as Toga suddenly cries a little, hugging Eri back. The girl who can't smile is smiling and the girl who can't cry is crying. And they're doing it because they're happy.

Dabi and Shoto take turns mocking Bakugo while Shigaraki and Deku take turns defending him. Which is really funny because them you have Toga and Uraraka pointing out which team is winning.

Bakugo gets to punch everyone at least once. At least people stop him before he goes against Toga and Uraraka. That'd be a hell of a fight.

The girls at class 1a and class 1b adore Toga and they always invite her when they're going out. Tomura drives her to the place and gives her money to buy ice-cream.

Speaking of which: have you ever thought about Kirishima punching Dabi and Shigaraki just once for kidnapping Bakugo and then going "okay, and now let's hug".

Spinner is like a big brother for the whole class 1b. They are always calling him for advice and help. Once they all decided to cosplay him for Halloween and he almost cried.

Hatsume gets all excited when Compress asks her if she can do a prosthesis for him. He let's the kids at UA create him support tech that he tests. He finds it pretty funny.

Eri tests her power on Dabi every few moths to keep his body from going worst. He messes her hair every time, pointing out how cool is her horn. She reminds him a lot of Tomura and that makes him a little nostalgic.

They find pics of Tomura as a kid by pure luck. He's with his sister and his mother and his grandparents, his father taking the photo. They also find the photo of Nana with Kotaro. Tomura let's All Might keep that one.

When Tomura first meets Momo it hits him how much she reminds him of Hana. He's ashamed at first but eventually he tells the class about his sister. The girls are nicer to him after that and so are the boys.

Rei invites Toga and Tomura for dinner every few weeks. Toga and Shoto are somehow friends, because they can rant about Deku and not understanding people. Since the first meeting, Natsuo became sort of friends with Tomura because they are the same age.

Natsuo invites Tomura to sport games and to the cinema sometimes and Fuyumi worries, but after some time she realizes Dabi is right. Tomura is not a danger to Natsuo.

Spinner joins them after a while. They are not like a crazy trio ranting about sports and movies. Spinner even finds a way to take Natsuo to the gym with him and now they train together.

Tomura and Dabi sometimes disappear together at night. They're on the roof, watching the stars. Those nights when they're feeling raw and violent, they prefer to go with Kurogiri and stay there for some time. Those days are hard, specially because it's easy to miss the friends that did not make it out alive, but they have each other and they hold tight together.

Mr. Compress helps the following years with the cultural festival. Everything is colorful and dramatic and lovely. He is like the special guest. Kurogiri visits the city those days.

Inko finds herself protecting Tomura more than once, mothering him about his scratching and scars. He's constantly eating with the Midoriyas.

Toga and Monoma become besties and no one knows who that happened. She spents a lot of time around class 1b. She also teaches Shinso how to become invisible. Present Mic gets kinda nervous but Aizawa finds it interesting. Well, that kid stabbed him once, she's good. Shinso can learn a bunch from her.

Kurogiri starts helping Fuyumi with teaching kids somehow too. He's really patient and kids adore to play around with his misty form. Fuyumi finds him reliable and responsible. Who would guess they'd find comfort in each other.

Tensei, Iida's brother, gets help from Natsuo with his therapy. Iida and Deku get Melissa Shield to help him with new tech support. He finds a way to work as a minor hero again, and he trains a lot with Compress, both of them trying to regain more mobility.

The best day of Tomura's life is when Stain recognizes he was right. Also? Iida and Tomura bonding over hating Stain? Think about the possibilities.

Tomura teaches Uraraka how to win money online playing games. She's AMAZING at that. Dabi and Shoto secretly gives her a lot of money on her streams. Dabi because he can waste Enji's money and Shoto for the same reason, plus she's her friend.

Tsuyu and Spinner bonding over the stress of their friends being morons. Also they enjoy each other's company a lot.

Dabi and Denki and Cami speaking in memes and only Present Mic is able to translate.

Tomura and Uraraka bonding over not being able to touch things with all their fingers.

Dabi and Sero doing pranks with Sero's tape.

Dabi is definitely a bad influence for class 1a. And even a wrost influence for class 1b.

Tomura is not better but at least he teaches them important stuff.

Dabi will deny to his death that he likes those kids. Tomura teases him constantly.

Toga has a secret account to post stuff about Tomura and Dabi and how they are secretly in love. Class 1a and class 1b join. Soon they're losing their shit all the time around them and they both are angry because they don't know what's happening.

And then class 1b makes it a competition because they ship Spinner and Shigaraki better. It is a naive game, Tomura can't be mad because it's really chaotic, but he asks them eventually to tone it down because they're crossing some limits.

Dabi and Spinner are clueless.

Kurogiri says he ships Tomura with happiness when they ask him.

Then proceeds to say he adores Spinner.

Shoto gets insulted in behalf of his brother and he gets Compress to say he prefers Shigaraki with Dabi.

When they officially asks Shigaraki, he send the meme of "Both? Both. Both is good". Next day Vlad King and Aizawa has to endlessly ask them to stop laughing in class. Specially when Tomura walks in wirh the biggest smirk ever.

AND THIS IS GOING TOO FAR. OMG. SORRY FOR WRITING SO MUCH. I GOT EXCITED.

[goose-books]

Okay this may be a hard one but...Ambergris for the soft headcanons 👀

hey rook remember when you sent me this Literally A Month Ago and then i never did it. well i'm DOING it now because i'm in the mood for things that are nice. ask meme here; ambergris armindale from godsong here, and yes, she is the most difficult character to do this for KSDFHDSFDSB

what they smell like: perfume, primarily; she's the daughter of a duke and so she's basically made to look & smell like a perfect china doll of a girl who you should Absolutely Marry And Bring Into Your Household, She Won't Hurt You

what their favorite smells in the world are: and because ambergris hates her family, she hates the smell of perfume! and she vastly prefers natural scents. anything earthy/mossy. flowers will do so long as they're real flowers and not flower-scented this or that. she's outdoors basically whenever she can be (and alone whenever she can be, but that's slightly harder to do; she's got maids)

what pajamas they wear: just simple shift dresses! underclothes. high fantasy setting. but i think she'd wear nightgowns in a modern AU, too, partially because they're easy to put on and partially because she'd like the aesthetic

my favorite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: knowing me i am going to give ambergris a girlfriend eventually (or at least, like, dangle the idea of a relationship when she's in a better mental state) but i haven't gotten there yet so who's to say

my favorite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: i know i haven't talked about ambergris's dragon but ambergris befriends a dragon in the world's most grimdark horsegirl plotline and they are best FRIENDS and i offer: the image of ambergris curling up to sleep under his wing, because his scales are warm, on his blind side (he's missing an eye) because she's the only one he trusts on said blind side

a song that reminds me of them: "orca" by wintersleep is Thee ambergris song, but i've definitely said that already, so i offer "polar bear" by king charles!

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal: she would kill me for saying anything except dragon but like.

what position they sleep in: probably on her back if she's not sleeping leaned against the dragon (but, like, why wouldn't you sleep against your dragon. free heater)

their favorite drink: you know she drinks tea that is literally just like leaf water. tea that makes you go "does this have dirt in it. is this actually a beverage. ambergris is this dirt" (i've done well at keeping things soft up until now so i'll allow myself to add that she has a STRONG aversion to mint tea, and the smell of mint in general; she's got unpleasant associations about it)

a gift i would give them if i could: excepting the two obvious answers ("a dragon," which i am giving her, and "therapy," which is a cop-out answer for being too easy), i think i'd honestly just take her someplace. botanical gardens. a bookstore. the museum. the theater. she grew up filthy rich with terrible parents, so, like, expensive gifts don't mean shit to her; if you could buy her affection, it'd have happened by now. honestly, i think she just really wants someone to take the time to do something with her, even if she's slow on her crutches, even if "doing something" is just sitting and talking.

plus if we went somewhere she would maybe let me pet her big honking dragon and that would be pretty cool, i think

[pluviophile-imagines]

Could I ask what your sexuality headcanons are? I love comparing mine with other peoples’!

Ok second half of this; this is just like. non-students who i Actually have thought about HJBAFV not at all a comprehensive list. Again disclaimer i write all these chars as bi in my fics, also i am bi myself so the vast majority are also bi, and also leaving a lot of these vague so u can imagine ur favorite ship or urself or w/ever

ok lets start this off with Aizawa. I think....... hes another one who's rlly unlabelled, doesnt super care to think it through and define it, but calls himself gay bc his interest in women is very, very rare and it's just way easier to say than explain all that. Definitely do buy into the idea that he had a crush on Oboro in hs but i do NOT buy into the easermic agenda sorry. Definitely not someone who goes looking for dates, but doesn't say no if someone asks him and hes interested (also im not gonna give her a whole section but i saw a hc a while back that the Ms. Joke stuff is literally that shes a lesbian and hes gay and shes fucking with him and i love that so much i just wanted to put it out there)

on the topic of the erasermic agenda: Hizashi's pan and knew it before HS, had a sudden & intense crush on Aizawa for the first month they knew each other and then immediately got over it in favor of a similar sudden, intense, and then immediately fading crush on Midnight. Hizashi and Aizawa r just rlly good friends imo; maybe they messed around for a bit in their twenties but it never went anywhere serious. He dates around a lot, not even necessarily to settle down just to have some fun

Midnight is aro/ace but does get in qprs & gravitates towards women wrt that. Most people dont read vigilantes but theres a woman in that, Kazuho, who i imagine she's been in a long-term qpr with; her relationship with aizawa and hizashi leans a little more towards a qpr than a normal friendship, too, but it's not rlly defined that way

All Might is married to justice queer but v much not interested in relationships. He and that one guy from the first movie are ABSOLUTELY exes and i won't hear otherwise; it's the only relationship he's ever had, and they broke up bc he had to go back to japan. He was heartbroken but did eventually get over him; his lack of romance afterwards is from genuine disinterest and not being hung up on his past. I can see him finding someone else in his later years, after he's retired. Definitely feels like he's not worthy of it tho

Hawks is bi but unfortunately didn't get to figure that out until like Now in the timeline...... if youll let my dabihawks history shine through i think dabi was the reason JHBASFGJHB he was basically brainwashed by the commission to become a hero so he didnt have time to Figure That Shit Out; he knew he was into women bc that was easy & what the commission expected from him but then he started this undercover assignment and met dabi and realized Oh...... Fuck. Hawks is hard tbh, bc i think between the control that the commission has over him and his own convictions as a hero he doesn't pursue any romance (tho he does get crushes or find people attractive) and most of his flings are done to keep up his prettyboy act, not out of genuine interest in being a fuckboy. Can't imagine him having a relationship until well after canon but I do see him being interested eventually

Onto the villains, Shigaraki is unlabelled but probably would call himself queer if asked. Definitely admires women more but isn't very interested in romance; AFO actively encourages him to pursue the things interested in so imo if he were he'd talk abt it more lmfao. I kinda see him as demi as well, not the type to fall immediately but requiring a friendship beforehand; tho unlike Bakugo as i said in my last post I dont think it happens suddenly but rather slowly. Y'all know im a big fan of shigaraki being absolutely whipped for his s/o so i do thing hes a big piner, tho he's also pretty bold and unashamed of his affections. I'm a big fan of him falling for a member of the league or a civilian; definitely can't see him falling for a hero unless the hero was already halfway to turning sides already. I think he's also attracted to intelligence and someone who pushes him to think more abt his ideology...... maybe im just projecting at this point JSHDFBVAJKSHD but my point is that the gender of his partner is definitely the least of what he considers/notices

Dabi is bi and, here's my bold take, demisexual; not interested in sex unless its with someone he loves. Absolutely doesn't even think abt romance for most of the years where he's on his own. He's got revenge to plan. By the time he joins the league that hasn't changed much, and he's demi so he's not interested in sleeping around, plus he rlly denies any attachment to people at all. As I said in that other ask tho I do rlly like the idea of him with Magne, so I think they have a fling for a bit before her death :( it's one of the things that leads him to isolate himself further, unfortunately, even from Jin and the other League members with whom his relationships aren't romantic. I can see him dating someone post-canon bc i think hes gonna be redeemed lol. It could be someone he knew before but they probably didnt date again bc he was v guarded; i think magne was rlly the only person he dated

Magne is pan and heres the kicker: I think shes t4t, which led to a little moment just before she and dabi got together where he was like "she wouldnt be into me :/" but she was into him anyway so all was good. She got around in her circles, mostly casual stuff tho she yearned for something more serious.

Spinner's bi & trends towards women but does occasionally get things for men and they're almost always intense. He thought he was straight for a while even once he joined the league and then suddenly got a crush on Shigaraki (around the time of MVA) and realized otherwise LMFAO he's definitely a hopeless romantic type, the whole mutant prejudice thing makes it rlly hard for him and i can see him being rlly happy with another mutant-type; i feel like as he matures he starts to gravitate towards them

Toga is canonically pan to my understanding, iirc her interest in Uraraka and Deku is the same (and romantic) in canon tho i might be wrong. Poor girl just needs therapy. I like the idea of the two of them becoming her friends over her being involved with them but i totally can get behind her having a thing with Uraraka (and maybe Tsu) at some point post-canon (presuming she gets redeemed), tho I think a qpr between the two/three of them would be longer lasting. And again presuming she gets therapy i can see her settling down with someone, gender irrelevant

Jin is unlabelled bc he hasn't much thought abt it, definitely had a thing for dabi and for hawks which does make me sad on both counts. I think he likes women slightly more abstractly/aesthetically and gets crushes more on men,. The dabi thing fades as they get closer and start to view each other as brothers. In his later years he doesn't rlly care about romance, I think he enjoys the experience of crushing but doesnt like dating people; his found family in the League is far more important to him. But i can see him falling head-over-heels for someone quite suddenly and having a bit of a whirlwind romance. Also someone for whom gender isn't much of a factor

Mr Compress is also queer and also hasn't rlly thought abt it. Definitely leans more towards women; he's like 30 but i like to think he also goes for older partners, 10 or 15 years his senior KJBADSJFHB idk he just has that Vibe with the way he calls himself an old man etc. A lot of the league i cant see sleeping or dating around much, i feel like they prioritize each other, but I do think mr compress gets around more than the others. i can see him having a bit of a fuckbuddy who he catches feelings for

Kurogiri is fun; as Oboro I do think Aizawa's crush was reciprocated, tho he wasn't around long enough for them to act on it :( he's bi, tho kurogiri isn't supposed to have personal interests. I like to imagine the brainwashing isnt as good as AFO wants it to be tho so I like the idea of him falling for someone anyway. I also like the idea of the heroes managing to undo the nomufication and I 100% can see him, aizawa, and someone else (someone he was involved with as Kurogiri) ending up in a triad as a result of aizawa and the third partner helping him through the aftermath of all that shit

Lady Nagant is a manga-only minor character but im in love with her so imma talk abt it. Shes bi and leans VERY heavily towards women, probably spent years questioning whether she was rlly bi or a lesbian before finally having a fling with a guy that she genuinely enjoyed. Has only ever been in long-term relationships with women and I v much think she has a gf at home who stayed even when she was arrested 🥺

Finally imma talk abt Natsuo bc i love that boy. He's one of the few unmarried chars with a love interest and he canonically has a gf. I do see him as IDing straight in canon ngl, but the kind of straight where he might actually be bi but his preference leans so heavily towards women and he grew up in a bad home so he just doesnt rlly think abt it bc hes v happy with women anyway. In shiganatsu thoughts shigaraki is the first man he has a thing for; i rlly can see the two of them in a triad with a woman specifically, who helps the two of them find each other and is the one who initiates bc its definitely a weird situation for natsuo

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Here she is!!! I finally got round to drawing her again and I’m actually relatively happy with how she turned out. She is one of my favourite ocs and I love her to bits - I made her almost a year ago when I was thinking about some random EctoLoader headcanons and suddenly had the urge to give them a child...and so then she was designed :D I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post my initial designs as well because I really don’t like the look of my old art but you know why not:

Please keep in mind that these are quite old and um...not that brilliant but they were my first quick sketches of her and I ended up writing a whole entire backstory for her so yeah! (Now that I look back at it I realise I didn’t make her hair poofy enough in the new drawing...also the page ripped and I was really sad about that-) anyway here’s some info about her (under the cut because it ended up a little longer than I expected):

AH I forgot to say!! There are mentions of death and severe injury and other stuff like that in the backstory so please read with caution!

Name -> Yuna Makimi

Age -> 17

Quirk -> “Adapt” - her quirk allows her to adapt certain parts of her body to suit whatever situation she is in. A main example of this would be when she creates little pads on the ends of her fingers which pick up vibrations, enabling her to “see” her surroundings a little better. However she cannot use her quirk to restore parts of her body that are lost/severely damaged (like her legs + eyes).

Occupation -> Student at UA

Current status -> Alive

Family -> Mother (deceased), Father (deceased), Powerloader (adopted dad), Ectoplasm (adopted dad)

Likes -> Dumplings, sitting in flower fields, doing literally anything with her friends + family

More info + backstory:

So, like I mentioned, I came up with her when I was thinking about EctoLoader headcanons and one of these hcs is that after Ecto loses his legs they both go round and pay visits to hospitals and other places to visit the children/patients there - and so yeah.

Yuna was part of quite the loving family, her parents were quite strict but loved her to pieces.

They weren’t the richest of people, and didn’t get along with the rest of their family for whatever reasons, but they were fine together - just the three of them.

That is until the accident that completely changed her life.

At the age of 8 she was caught up in a nasty villain attack as they were driving through the city and their car was completely destroyed. Her parents died at the scene and she was immediately whisked to hospital with very severe injuries.

She lost both her legs and almost all sight in her eyes, her parents were dead and she had nowhere to go, and at such a young age she felt so lost.

2 years passed and still nobody wanted to take her in, they said it would be “too much responsibility” to look after someone like her. And so at that point she had given up on all hope if someday being in a loving family again. Only 10 years old and her life had completely crumbled to pieces.

That is until one day PL swings by on one of his visits and meets this small child who looks as if she never smiles. He speaks to her and she slowly became less shy of this small man that sat in front of her. He decided to visit more often (he was made aware of her situation by one of the nurses that looked after her) and told Ecto all about this sweet little girl who he’d met who was in need of a better life. And over time they contemplated taking her in as their own - they weren’t sure yet but they had thought about it.

One day PL came with a surprise. He had put together a pair of prosthetic legs for her that she had mentioned to him before that she wished she had and that wasn’t all, they mentioned that this time Ecto came along too. She was absolutely overjoyed. She had heard about him and looked up to him a lot, he inspired her to keep going, even though she had lost her legs.

After discussing it with each other, they asked her whether she would be happy to come and live with them, and join a loving family once again. She was taken aback by the offer, as no one had even considered looking after for 2 whole years, but she realised that she was finally offered a normal life again and she was oh so happy with that...and so they adopted her and it was the best decision they ever made.

They helped her get used to her new home and she slowly got more and more comfortable with her new life. Ecto helped her with her therapy, guiding her when she felt lost and confused about what she’s doing. PL helped by tweaking little things about her prosthetics that could help her, and created little items to support her in her walking and her sight. They helped her discover new ways of using her quirk to allow her to be more aware of her surroundings and to help her “see” (she can’t use it to see fully, it just helps her to pinpoint the movements and positions of the objects/people around her a little better).

Soon enough, she was happier than ever, and when she was old enough she brought up her decision of wanting to go to UA. They weren’t sure whether or not she should, for her own safety, but she insisted that even with her disabilities she wanted to try her best at becoming a hero just like them in her own way...even if others believed it was barely possible. And so they allowed it. They taught there anyway so if anything were to happen they would always be close by.

She made a bunch of amazing friends at UA and learnt to handle her quirk in many different ways - expanding it to help her in various different situations. Her classmates would always be there to help her when she needed it but all believed that she was one of the strongest out of all of them - this really made her emotional because it wasn’t something that she ever expected to hear - and hearing this really made Ecto and PL happy, because they had watched as this tiny helpless girl had grown up to become strong, happy and incredibly loved.

And that’s my “little” backstory for her! Sorry its a bit sad and all that but it wouldn’t be one of my backstories if it wasn’t some form of tragic....:/ Anyway have some random headcanons for her->

She cannot ride in a car unless she is holding someone’s hand, this is pretty self-explanatory.

She loves jokes and stupid puns, they make her so incredibly happy it’s unbelievable.

She also loves flowers - they smell nice.

She isn’t entirely blind - she can just about make out shapes and moving objects but without the aid of her quirk she finds it hard to tell the difference between what might be a person and what might just be a large object.

She loves to sing and dance, and she has a beautiful voice, however she gets embarrassed if she gets caught.

She is always happy to spend any sort of time with her dads because with their jobs as heroes, free time can sometimes be very hard to come by.

Sorry how absolutely all over the place this is, I have plenty more headcanons and info about her, but I think I’ve rambled on for quite long enough now! (Plus I kinda just want to post it now because the more I look at the drawing the less I like it-)

Anyway, I hope you like her! She is one of my favourite characters that I’ve made and she makes me very happy. Hopefully, I’ll draw her some more :)

~Eclair

[spookyrobbins]

Hey! Since you’re a master of angst, i have a challenge for you. I’ll name random words, you have to make angsty hc for that words. (Calzona edition)

1.) Christmas tree

2.) Bubble

3.) laundry

4.) stars

5.) bubblegum

6.) scalpel

7.) cheeseburger

8.) iPhone

9.) basement

10.) x-ray

1.) Christmas tree

the year that sofia was in new york, sofia was supposed to come back to seattle for christmas and arizona decorated the whole house and she facetimed sofia so sofia could pick out the tree with her

but there was a bunch of storms and sofia's first flight got cancelled and arizona got freaked out about sofia flying and so she and callie decided it was better for sofia to stay in new york

needless to say, arizona had a very bad christmas

she facetimed sofia for a bit but it hurt to see penny and callie and sofia having christmas together; then she ate christmas cookies, drank rumchata, threw up cookies and rumchata and cried watching the thin man

2.) Bubble

callie's first night without sofia after the divorce, she found a bottle of champagne in the pantry with a note stuck on the bottom

the note in question: to celebrate the end of 30 days and the beginning of forever all my love, arizona

callie cried in the pantry for like an hour

then she threw the bottle out and then pulled it out of the trash and then threw it out again and then stashed it in the back of the pantry

she tucked the note away in a book arizona had given her for her birthday a few years back and forgot about it for years until arizona found it when they were moving in together (spoiler alert: they both cried about it)

3.) laundry

right after callie walked out of therapy, arizona drove to their house to pack a bag because she just couldn't imagine staying there after what callie had just done

she barely even registered what she was grabbing and she didn't realize until later that she grabbed callie's grey sweatshirt

at first, she didn't want to give it back bc she thought it would be humiliating

then she didn't want to give it back because it helped her sleep bc everything was always so much worse at night

then it felt like all she had left of callie bc callie had moved on and she was happier than ever but arizona had never been so miserable

4.) stars

tim and arizona used to star gaze a lot because stars were always the same and they would always make up goofy stories

arizona started doing the same with sofia when she was a bit older

and when sofia moved to new york, arizona got her a book so sofia could identify constellations without arizona there and she could still feel connected to her mom

5.) bubblegum

so arizona always has jelly beans in her lab coat pocket and when they first started dating, callie mentioned that she like the bubblegum ones, so arizona started pulling them out all the time for callie

only thing is bubblegum isn't callie's favourite, it's actually watermelon, but she never had the heart to tell arizona bc arizona was always so excited to give her the bubblegum ones and she always smiled so brightly and callie loved it

arizona went for years not knowing, at least until she overheard penny mention something (idk why penny was talking about this, just go with it)

she cried on alex's shoulder and alex had absolutely zero clue what was happening but he comforted her anyway bc alex is just that kind of friend

6.) scalpel

callie used to watch arizona's surgeries whenever she had free time; she loved watching her, the way she always chatted with her patient beforehand, the way she was always so in control, even the way she held a scalpel

but after the plane crash, she stopped because arizona was sensitive about callie hovering; and then they were separated; and then they were divorced; and callie shouldn't be watching her ex-wife perform surgery

however, arizona had a pretty groundbreaking surgery that everyone wanted to watch; callie could tell, even from a distance that arizona was stress - before she would've helped her, but now? now there wasn't much for callie to do

at the last minute, callie slipped in the back, right before arizona was about to start and arizona looked up at the gallery and for a split second, everything felt like it was right again

(expect it wasn't; they were still divorced; callie had penny; arizona didn't care anymore; and callie really wished she didn't either)

7.) cheeseburger

every time he got back from deployment, the colonel would take arizona and tim out for burgers; it was their little tradition, just to check in and reconnect

after the divorce, the colonel flew out and surprised arizona; they went for burgers and arizona cracked and told him everything about what happened with callie - the cheating and the separations and the therapy - and she expected him to freak out at her about how much of a disappointment she was

but instead, he just nodded, taking it all in, and asked her if she was getting the help she needed and taking care of sofia. needless to say, arizona cried

8.) iPhone

the morning after the storm, callie changed her phone background from one of their wedding pictures to a picture of sofia and didn't change it back; arizona noticed and it hurt but she never said anything

the night after callie walked out of therapy and their marriage, arizona changed her phone background from a picture of callie and sofia to a picture of sofia; callie never noticed

9.) basement

during callie's pregnancy, she was so frustrated with arizona and mark and then she had a bad surgery and she was tired of everyone fussing over her so she went and hid in the basement; arizona was looking for her and webber sent her down to the basement and callie told her that this always felt like a safe place in the hospital

in the year that sofia was in new york, arizona found herself going down there a lot; she felt like she was drowning and nobody noticed, so it was just better to be away from people; she even slept there a few times, more by accident than anything; plus it helped that it made her feel just a little bit connected to callie

10.) x-ray

right when they started dating, callie kept arguing that bones were sexy and arizona sort of jokingly told her to prove it, so callie took an xray of arizona's hand

she had basically forgotten about it until she was unpacking in new york and found it and sofia was with her and callie had to explain what it was

it caused a huge fight with penny, who wanted her to throw it out, but callie couldn't bring herself to get rid of the photo

[maiaphaelsource]

Hey, related to the trans hc.

Magnus who obviously isn't going to out anyone, but tries his best to let Raphael know that Maia is going to be 100% fine with hin coming out, except that Magnus usually comforts and reassures him, so Raphael feels Magnus is being supportive in a weird way, but gets to the conclusion that is just Magnus Comfort™ as usual. Meanwhile Maia is like, you're my best tipper but I'm concern how much time you're here, you aren't even drinking much ? Just tipping and saying nice things about Raphael ?? Like I know he's great and he wouldn't be an asshole if I told him I just still feel nervous, you know ?

And magnus is like yes I know, and you should come out on your own time <3

But in the end after they come out to each other Maia and Raphael are just like Ooooh, so he knew

!!!!!!! what an excellent headcanon!!!! it makes sense too because obviously magnus is going to know about raphael, but it also checks out that he’d know about maia because magnus is kind of.... known among trans downworlders. he’s not flaunting his trans status around but he’s done enough for the community that it’s common knowledge among trans downworlders. so it would make sense for maia to tell him! or maybe maia tells luke and luke comes to magnus because he knows about it. but i do like the idea that maia tells him, even if it’s just a “it was great, you know, to know that there were other trans downworlders, too” and magnus smiles and there’s that understanding between them and she tries to give him a drink on the house and he refuses

so anyway yeah by the time maia and raphael are getting closer he can feel the Nervous Vibes coming off his boy, but again he’s not gonna out anyone like you said, so he just... gently nudges and tells him that he should tell her, that he’s sure it wouldn’t be bad. and raphael sighs and is like “i know, i know, i’m being stupid, i should trust her” and he pats his head like “not stupid, my boy. it’s normal to want to protect yourself. don’t feel guilty about it” and raphael gives him a small smile

also picturing that magnus goes to the hunter’s moon and subtly nudges the subject in that direction and maia kind of tells him everything about her worries without meaning to and she’s kind of embarrassed but magnus is just... trustworthy and one of the closest people she has to talk about this. of course she has simon as well (trans simon!) but also simon is 100% guaranteed to run his mouth and she didn’t feel quite comfortable to bring it up with him yet. but with magnus there’s that slight distance plus kinda dad vibes and she finds herself telling him about her worries 

and again magnus is not going to out anyone but he also tries to nudge her to tell him you know, i know raphael, he’s more than accepting :) and she’s like “i know, i know, i guess a part of me just... feels nervous. because it’s him, and we’re getting close, and it’s always when we’re growing close...” looking all sad at her glass and magnus gives her a small smile and tells her that it’s also only when they were getting close that she got her best friends and family. it can go either way, what matters is the person, and he knows what kind of person raphael is gonna be - and he thinks that she knows, too

and she smiles and pours him some more and says “yeah, i guess so. you know, you’re my only customer that provides me free therapy” and as if on cue someone sits down and asks her for “something strong” and she’s like uh oh, i’ll be back in a second. by the time she’s back magnus is gone and there’s a big tip for her on the counter, and god damn it, making that one on the house was the least she could do!

anyway eventually she does come out to raphael (i tend to think she would be first, because she gets anxious and wants to get it over with, even as a means to protect herself, while raphael is... private and slow and takes time to actually go through with stuff like this. not that maia is more trusting, just, different ways of dealing with the same fears) and raphael is like “did... magnus know about this?” and she’s like “yes, why?” a little defensive because what does that have to do with anything, and he’s like “oh, because he’s been a little pushier than usual for me to come out to you” and she raises an eyebrow like “i already knew you’re ace” and he’s like “yeah, but i’m trans, too” and she blinks and is like. oh! that... also explains a few things about my conversation with magnus

and they both laugh and it’s resolved pretty soon and it’s great. magnus tries to be very subtle next time he asks raphael if he’s already talked to maia and hides his smile behind his teacup when raphael says that yes, and by the way, they both know that magnus knew

[supposed2bfunny]

Do you have any headcanons in general about 2D and girls? We're probably talking mainly Phase 2, but all phases are welcome, including his pre-Gorillaz life.

Bold of you to assume I ever think about 2D behaving heterosexually (I don’t).

However, I can make some up!

-2D discovered girls at a young age, and his life was forever changed.

-His attention to girls was linked to his obsession with music. As a lad, he wanted to marry Joan Jett from the moment he heard her voice.

-Sooo many posters of busty ladies. He kept them under his pillow so as not to disappoint his mum (she was aware of them). That stereotypical Farrah Fawcett poster? He bought multiples of it.

-He was the kind of boy who developed a crush on any girl who was nice to him, whether she offered him a pencil or giggled at a joke he made to the teacher. By the age of like, 13, he’d had serious crushes on half the girls in his class, most of those crushes short-lived.

-As he got older, he also got more discerning. I know people think he’s an ass man, and I respect that, but young teen Stu was a booby boy, okay? 

-You may be wondering how a goofy, slightly awkward lad like Stu landed a bold, tough, sexy gal like Paula, huh? Well, that’s actually a very simple, funny story! The way they got together is [REDACTED].

-In Phase 0, he was faithful to Paula, but he ogled other girls all the time and didn’t consider it cheating because “he wasn’t doing nufin’ wrong!”

-Once Paula left the band, there was no stopping this horny boy. He was out every night chasing skirts. He made Murdoc look mellow.

-I’m not saying 2D was overtly sexist in his youth, but I don’t think he wanted to date a girl after Paula unless he was certain she was willing to do his laundry for him, and could hold her own in the kitchen.

-2D NEVER ends things with girls, they’re always the ones calling the relationship off. He will never admit this, although Russel and Murdoc are aware of it, and have both found him crying in his room post-breakup on multiple occasions.

-In Phase 2? He was out of control. He’d had a whole summer working at his dad’s fairgrounds to test out what pick-up lines worked best, and was always wooing girls back to Kong (”mind the zombie carcasses, Noodle promised she’d move ‘em soon, there’s a luv”).

-Didn’t go down on a girl till this time period. Hated it. The fuck.

-Has tried to re-create Murdoc’s hip thrusts from the Feel Good Inc video to entice ladies at clubs. Results have varied.

-There was a pretty big temper tantrum the day he learned that lots of ladies were hooking up with Murdoc after hooking up with him. 2D tried to mock him for taking “sloppy seconds,” until he was informed via email by several ladies that Murdoc was the better lover. Impossible! How could this be?!

-LOL sorry 2D stans, those child support emails weren’t scammers taking advantage of 2D, those are 100% legit and this kid needs to send those checks out to keep everything “chilly,” otherwise some haggard mothers with blue-haired kids in strollers are about to come pounding on the doors to Kong demanding money. 2D is a shitty dad to illegitimate children, you will never change my mind!

-The fact is in Phase 2, I think 2D started to really question his sexuality and realized that he wasn’t as straight as he’d always assumed. Alarmed by this discovery, he was really desperate to hold down a girlfriend, but his desperation only made him seem clingy, and this combined with his cocky attitude made him really repellant to a lot of ladies. While plenty of girls wanted to hook up with 2D during Phase 2 as Gorillaz’s fame peaked, I don’t think many girls wanted to stick around with him, and as he came to realize this, it was a horrific blow to his self-esteem. 

-When did 2D stop seeing girls as arm accessories? Honestly? When Noodle came back into the band, alive at the end of Phase 3. Seeing this child he’d loved like a baby sister now a young woman, it was kind of revelatory for him. And as they began to talk and repair their relationship and rediscover each other after their years apart, 2D’s eyes were opened. 

-Basically seeing her as an independent, forward-thinking young woman kind of forced 2D out of his immature stupor. Plus, he was at a point in his life where he was undergoing a lot of self-exploration and therapy and healing anyway, and I think he naturally had time to look back on his romantic life and see how imperfect he’d been, how many girls he had likely hurt with his selfishness. I don’t think 2D dated much in Phase 4: I think for the first time in his life, serious self-reflection overpowered his Intense Horniness. 

-You all know that around this point, I HC him as not really being interested in pursuing romance with ladies anymore, but I think he continues to admire powerful women. These days, it’s less because he wants a strong woman to care for him, and more because I think he admires their strength and independence and wants to develop those traits in himself more. 

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Straight Boy

Part 2: together

Rating: M

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 10365

Chapters: 2/4 [All chapters]

Read on AO3

AN: Oooooh this chapter is fuuuuun :) I loved writing all this fic but especially this chapter. Also, forgot to mention it last chapter, but yes "Baz in glasses" is BACK baby!!! I love this HC and I will keep putting it in fics until I die. Well, enjoy this chapter :D

Tagging: @jeansjeansjeansjeans

———————————————-

I have to do a double take of the building. I check the address Baz text sent me, and it’s right. This fancy ass mostly glass white condo is definitely the right place. Well, Baz said his family was rich, maybe they bought him a whole condo for uni? Yeah...

I walk and type in the buzzer code Baz gave me. It rings low and loud, until a very pissed off voice comes on. And it’s definitely not Baz.

“What?!” The posh woman barks out. I instinctively step away.

“Uh, I’m here to see Baz?” I say with extreme caution. “I’m Simon, by the way.”

“Oh, right, Basilton said you were coming.”

Basilton? What? Okay, not important right now. There’s an obnoxiously loud buzz and the door unlocks. I rush in and go towards the elevator. It’s all cold grey fancy steel. I feel very intimidating as I go up to the twenty fifth floor. Luckily, Baz’s flat is just to the right, so I don’t get lost. (Penny says I get lost turning left.) I knock on the door lightly. A few heavy steps come towards me, then the door swings open, making me take a step back.

This woman is definitely not Baz, but I’m pretty damn sure they’re related. Same skin tone, same grey eyes, same black hair. Though she has a thick white blonde streak at the front. I can’t tell if it’s dyed or natural. She’s wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans with old Doc Martens. She looks like she just came out from a seventies punk bar, and she was the headline act.

“Uh, hello,” I say very cautiously. “I’m Simon.”

“So, you’re Simon,” she replies with a weird suspicion. “You’re shorter than I thought you would be.”

“Um, sorry?”

“Fiona!” I hear Baz shout from behind her. He appears suddenly, glasses on top of his head, hair falling in a lazy wave over his angry face. He's dressed in a loose white shirts and blue jeans we picked out at W Wood. Wait, are jeans his lazy clothes? Huh, odd. He looks good, so whatever.

“Stop picking on Simon,” he growls at the women, apparently called Fiona, glaring viciously. Fiona glares right back.

“I wasn’t picking on him,” she says with bite.

Baz rolls his eyes dramatically. “Of course you weren’t.” He finally looks at me and immediately grins. “Hi, Snow, glad you could make it. This is my Aunt Fiona. Please ignore her. She’s over protective, like an old pit bull.”

Fiona scoffs loudly and smacks his arm. “I am not old, you wanker! I’m only thirty eight!”

“Not the important thing here. Now, Fiona, don’t you have somewhere to be?” He raises one eyebrow impossibly high. Fiona glares even harder.

“This is my apartment, y’know.”

“Our apartment now. And you’re going to Nicky’s. Seriously, why don’t you two just get a flat together and give me the place to myself 24/7?”

Fiona rolls her eyes. Wow, I can see where Baz gets it from. “Please, we’re too new for that.”

“You’ve known each other since high school.”

“But only been dating for a few months. We’re still in the sexy honeymoon phase, Basil,” she says with a wink. My cheeks heat up, Baz is obviously unimpressed, and Fiona looks very smug. I feel like I’m intruding on a much larger conversation.

“Fiona,” Baz sighs, “please, just go see your boyfriend. Come back tomorrow.”

She sighs over dramatically. “Fine. Leave my kitchen and living room in working order by the time I come back, please.”

Baz sighs in the exact same way. “Yes, of course, now go!”

Fiona walks past me, patting my shoulder as she goes. “Nice meeting you, Simon. Have fun.” Her nails dig into my skin for a brief moment. Not enough to really hurt but enough to sting. I don’t think she likes me that much...

Baz physically pushes Fiona out the door. She flips him off. He groans and gestures me inside. “Sorry about that. Come in, come in. I’ve almost got supper ready.”

I follow in after him, unzipping my hoodie, since this fancy place is certainly well heated. “It’s fine, man. I didn’t know you lived with your Aunt.”

“Yeah, sorry, never came up. She lives close to campus so it was easier to just take her extra room instead of trying to find another place. And I think my parents want her to spy on me for them.”

I chuckle as I kick off my trainers. “And how is that working out? She didn’t strike me as someone who would tattle to your parents.”

Baz’s lip pulls up into a smirk. “Well, she likes to be a shit and pretend she’ll tell them about my activities. But at the same time, she let me smoke half her joint last night while we watched Monty Python and ate peanut butter from the jar.”

“Oh my god,” I giggle. “That sounds amazing!’

“It certainly was. Now come on, I’m starved.”

We walk down the short hall into the actual apartment. I have to stop myself from gasping. The whole place is kinda intimidating but cool. It’s like what you see in catalogues. All white walls, modern furniture, and large bay windows with a view of the steel and brick horizon. Though there’s also enough personality to it to show that two people live here. There's lots of photos on the walls of Baz and Fiona and people who look enough like them to be relatives. Some old books are spread out on the coffee table, with lots of sticky notes on the pages in Baz's wispy handwriting. And next to the volumes are rolling papers I can safely assume are Fiona’s. Looks like a fun place to live.

“Just nearly burned supper, goodness,” Baz chuckles.

I follow his voice into the kitchen. It’s all white with fancy high tech chrome appliances. Baz is bending over the oven, making the denim stretch across his arse. I blush and avoid looking. The memory of...that part of his anatomy is still burned into my brain. It never goes away, just fades and pops back up at literally the worst possible moments. Like late at night, persuading my hand to “accidentally” slip into my pants. Or right now, when I really can’t let my hand go anywhere to relieve the heat he makes in my stomach. Fuck, my head hurts.

“Perfect,” Baz says cheerily. “Cooked all the way through.” He pulls out a pan with two herb covered chicken breasts and oily asparagus stalks. He opens the pot on top of the stove. It’s filled with absolutely divine tomato sauce. My eyes get very wide.

“Wow,” I gasp. “When you said you were making supper, I thought you meant boxed pasta or some shit.”

Baz smiles smugly. “I’m classier than that, Salisbury.”

His smirk makes my stomach even hotter. I shrug. “Guess I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

“Damn right. Now go sit down, I’ll bring the plates out in a second.”

He gestures to the large glass dining table near the window. There’s two rich crimson placemats across from each other, twin wine glasses already filled. The lights are low, matching the setting sun. Everything is soft orange, red, and violet. It’s really nice. This is the fanciest supper set up I've ever seen. And Baz did it for me. He's so nice. My knees wobble a bit as I take my chair. Baz soon comes out with two full plates.

“Dinner is served,” he announces grandly, placing the food in front of me. It’s chicken, asparagus, and some unfamiliar rice dish. It’s got lentils, fried onions, chickpeas, macaroni noodles, and that amazing tomato sauce all on top. My mouth immediately starts watering.

“Thank you,” I reply as he sits down. I wait for him to unfold his napkin and everything to be polite. Mum taught me that. But it’s hard. I really want to eat.

Baz gives me an amused look. “Dig in, Snow, I can see you salivating all the way from over here.”

I roll my eyes, but still grab my utensils. “Shut up.” I put a large forkful of rice in my mouth, and it’s a flavour explosion. My tastebuds are singing with joy. I’ve never had something this good. I start shovelling huge bites in, making Baz snort with laughter.

“You like it?” he asks with amusement.

“Uh, fuck yeah! What is this, ambrosia?”

Baz chuckles and shakes his head, “No, just some good spices. That’s called koshari. It’s a very famous dish in Egypt. I’m half Egyptian, so I wanted to try to make it. Connect to my heritage and all.”

I try to smile, but my mouth is partially filled with koshari, so it’s difficult. “That’s awesome. Like, it’s really cool you’ve got that connection to your culture and stuff. Plus it’s just like super delicious.”

He half smiles, lifting his wine glass like a true gentleman, “The chef appreciates your compliments.”

I lift my own and clink our cups together. Like we’re fancy or something. “You’re very welcome.”

We trade easy conversation as we eat. Baz has completely caught up in his classes. Actually, he’s probably ahead. He’s incredibly smart so I’m not surprised. I’m getting better at paying attention in class. Penny gave me a fidget spinner, which I think was supposed to be a joke, but it’s actually helped me channel some of that restless energy. Plus I’m just super interested in our therapy unit. It’s what I study social work for, to help people. Baz calls me exceedingly noble. From his small smile, I assume it’s a compliment.

Once dinner is finished, we put our plates in the sink. I try to start washing but Baz slaps my hand away.

“None of that,” he says resolutely. “I’ll do it later.”

I put my hands in my pockets. I know there’s no point in arguing with him, amazing stubborn bastard. “Alright. What should we do? I don’t really feel like going home yet.”

A strange look crosses over his face. Both nervous and excited maybe? It’s so fleeting I can’t tell before it’s gone. He nods slowly. “Want to watch a movie? I’ve got Fiona’s Netflix account.”

“Yeah sure. Sounds good.”

We walk over to Fiona’s pristine white couch. I flop down while Baz sits properly, ankles crossed, straight back, hands in his lap. Jeez, he can still be so uptight sometimes. He flips down his glasses, probably so he can actually see the TV. Fuck, they really do look good on him. I have to make an effort not to stare.

“What should we watch?” I ask. “Horror? Comedy? Drama?”

Baz shrugs. “Well, I only watch documentaries, which you’d probably find very boring. So I leave the choice up to you, Salisbury.” He hands me the remote like a gentleman offering a bouquet. I take it graciously.

“Oh thank you kind sir,” I say in my poshest accent. Baz rolls his eye and chuckles.

I flip through Netflix for a little while. Well, Baz wasn’t lying about only watching documentaries. All his recently watched are movies about forests and wars and violinists. Bo-ring! I go to the romcom section, because I love stupid tropey shit. Penny calls me a hopeless romantic. I just like that everything works out in the end. Real life isn’t usually like that. It’s nice to pretend. So I pick “Notting Hill”. It’s one my favourites.

“Dear Lord,” Baz mutters part way in, “what is this?”

“It’s a rom com,” I reply.

“So, I’m supposed to believe that a movie star just happens to wander into this guy’s store? And she kisses him impulsively? Seriously?”

I playfully smack his arm. Wow, his hands are rough, his arms are smoother than sea glass. “It’s not supposed to be realistic, it’s supposed to be fun.”

He snorts. “Well, all I can focus on is the plot holes.”

I sigh. My head, heavy from food drowsiness, lolls to my right. It takes me a bit too long to realise it’s fallen on Baz’s shoulder. Shit, didn’t mean to do that. He’s incredibly tense, every muscle pulled tight. I nearly move off, but then he relaxes. His legs uncross, and his hands fall to beside his sides. So, I guess this is okay. And his shoulder, despite it’s boney-ness, is actually really comfy. Yeah. this is cool. I’ll just stay here.

The movie keeps going, but it kind of falls to background noise for me. I know it off by heart anyway. I’m more focused on other things for some reason. Like the feel of Baz’s soft shirt on my cheek. Or that his whole jean covered leg is pressed against mine. Or how close his rough farmer-violist hand is to mine. I’ve only held it a couple times, and only loosely. I do wonder...

Before thinking about it too much, I reach over and grab his hand. Baz inhales sharply through his nose, but he doesn’t pull away. Our hands rest together. We stay like that for awhile. Watching the movie, just casually holding hands. Normal friend stuff. His skin is still as scratchy as I remember, creating sparks of sensation all over my palm. And his fingers are quite long. Pianist fingers, I think that’s the term. They’re nice. I like his hand. I like holding it.

Eventually, I lift my head up, and my eyes flick over to him. I just want to see if he’s enjoying the movie. Holy shit, he’s looking back. His grey eyes are staring right at me. It almost feels like he’s looking through me they’re so piercing. It makes me shudder involuntarily. His eye move lower, to... Wait is he looking at my-

And then he kisses me.

Holy shit. A guy is kissing me. More importantly, Baz is kissing me. His face is so close to mine, black hair falling around us, glasses pushing against my nose. Baz’s lips are smooth, soft, and kinda cold. Well, not cold, just chilly, like an ocean breeze. It feels nice. His kiss feels nice. Oh my god, I’m musing about a guy kissing me, about how much I like it. What the hell?!

Our mouths are still, just pressed together chastely. Like we're a pair of awkward pre-teends having out first kiss. But really I’m too stunned to move. Then Baz pulls away slightly. His eyes are a bit glassy and his breathing is unsteady. “Is this okay?” he whispers.

That’s a really good fucking question. Am I okay with this? My lips are still tingling, and my pulse is hammering in my ears. Every fibre in my body is screaming at me to get close to him again. I nod. “Yeah,” I reply breathlessly, “yeah, it’s okay.”

Baz smirks, pushing his glasses on top of his head before kissing me again. He’s less hesitant this time, moving his mouth more insistently and curling his long fingers around my nape. I try to match his pace, try to pull him closer too, clutching his shirt in tight fists. I just want him so close. I let out an involuntary moan when his nails prick my skin. The slight sting makes everything go spinny. My mouth falls open, and I moan again as his tongue slowly slides across mine. Holy shit, why does this feel so much better than any kiss I’ve had before? I’ve only snogged a few of people, so it’s not like I’ve got a ton of experience, but I’ve got enough. And this is by far the best snog I’ve ever had.

I don’t even realise I’ve been leaning back until I’m laying down with Baz over me. He’s got one hand in my hair, the other trailing along my side, and a leg between mine. I’m holding his hips, dangerously close to going under his shirt. I really want to feel those muscles I saw in the changeroom, but I don’t want to do anything like that without Baz’s permission. Consent is necessary and all. But suddenly, without even moving off my mouth, Baz grabs my wrist and shoves my hand right under his shirt. Okay, pretty damn sure that’s consent. I trace the ridges and planes of muscle in his back, memorising the how ridiculously good they feel. He groans into my mouth. It makes my whole body shudder. And I full on gasp when he grinds his knee between my legs. My whole brain fucking explodes. Oh man, I am certainly “reacting” very, very strongly right now.

Through all the arousal haze, I wonder if this, what we’re doing, means I’m gay. But I don’t want to kiss Baz because he’s a guy. I want to kiss Baz because he’s Baz. Because he’s nice and funny and watched Doctor Who for me. And sure, he’s also really pretty with his wavy black hair and deep sea eyes. But anyone would notice that. I’ve noticed that other guys are pretty before. I can be straight and observant, right? I don’t know. It’s all too confusing to think about now. I just want to keep holding Baz. I have to do that.

Fuck, how long has he wanted this? How long have I wanted this? I would say I didn’t, but then why are a list of things I want to do to Baz? Like this; I push a hand into his hair. The strands are soft, slipping through my fingers, just like I thought. I clench my fist and shove his face more into mine.

Suddenly, Baz pulls off my mouth.

“Sorry,” I say (I’m out of breath it’s embarrassing.)

“No, no, don’t be sorry. Just,” he takes a breath, “want to continue this somewhere more comfortable?”

I’m panting very hard, but so is he. His face is flushed, eyes half lidded, lips swollen and wet. He looks fucking hot. My whole body is vibrating with energy. I want to pull him down and kiss him until our mouths are sore. And well, this couch is a bit small to stay here for that long. So I nod. “Sure, sounds good.”

Baz grins, showing all his bright white teeth. “Wonderful.”

He climbs off me. His legs are shaky, but when I stand up, mine are too. Baz turns off the telly and takes my hand, leading me down the narrow hall towards a room. Once we enter, it’s very obvious that this is Baz’s room. It’s extremely neat because of course Baz is a clean freak. But the desk is covered in a mess of books and sheet music. His violin case sits in the corner. I wonder if I’ll ever hear him play.

We stop in front of the large bed. His sheets are all black, and they look like silk. Well, that's definitely more comfortable than the couch. Baz turns towards me. His face is lit up by the setting sun, skin glowing perfectly in the fiery light. Wow, he’s somehow even prettier right now. But, is he nervous? He’s chewing on his lip, and the hand I’m not holding keeps flexing. I guess he is. Huh, I haven’t seen him anxious since the W Wood. And right now he’s much worse.

“So,” he says, clearing his throat a bit, “how far do you want to go? We could just keep snogging, that’s fine with me. Or we could do more. Whatever you feel like, I’ll be fine with.”

Fucking hell he’s so considerate. It makes my heart speed up, for some reason. But, what do I want? I want to touch him, to kiss him a lot. For him to kiss me and touch me too. Maybe in places other than my lips. Actually, fuck "maybe", I desperately want that, the need itching under every part of my skin. Even though I've never wanted a guy to do that before. Even though I’m straight. I’m trying not to think too much about those contradictions and focus on how good kissing him felt. I really don’t need a headache at this time.

“I-I’m good for anything.” Wait no, not right. “But not ‘all the way’, though. I don’t think I’m prepared for that, in every sense of the word.”

Baz chuckles, his other hand grabbing mine. “That’s fine, no worries. Neither am I, to be honest. But there’s lots of other stuff we can do.”

I look down at the floor, stomach twisting terribly with nerves. “Um, if I’m being honest, Baz, I, uh, have no clue what to do. I’ve never done this before, with a guy.”

He doesn’t say anything. I expected him to laugh, to tease me at least a bit, but instead I feel his rough pianist finger knock up my chin. His mouth is soft, and his eyes are kind and understanding. Why are my knees so weak? “It’s okay, you don’t have to be nervous. We can try things, but you can absolutely stop me if I you want to, alright?” He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, taking a moment to trace my jaw with a single callused fingertip. “I’ll take care of you, Simon.”

Bloody Hell, I’m not sure I have knees anymore now.

We lean forward simultaneously, lips instantly moulding together like we’ve been kissing forever. It feels so fucking good that I barely notice him pushing up my shirt. He pulls away when he reaches my arms. His face asks the silent question, and I nod in reply. He pulls the shirt over my head and tosses it to the side. I push at the hem of his. He happily helps me get it off, whipping it on the floor. My hands instantly go to his bare torso and chest. I try to touch all of it. Stomach, chest, shoulders, everything. I feel every bit of smooth skin and sharp angle, and they’re just as wonderful as I imagined.

“You’re actually perfect,” I murmur.

Baz smirks. He clenches his stomach, showing off his stupid perfect abs. I can’t suppress the squeak that pops out of my mouth.

“Why thank you,” he drawls sarcastically. I scoff, hoping it makes up for my red cheeks. He slowly runs his hand over my bare side the across my stomach. My whole body feels electric. I shiver and sigh. “You’re pretty damn amazing yourself, Snow.”

I attempt to laugh off my embarrassment. “T-Thanks.”

He kisses me softly again, arms winding around my neck. I hold his waist tightly. I nearly pull him over as Baz spins me around and pushes me on the bed. He stands over me, cupping my cheeks as we keep kissing. Soon he breaks away and starts trailing his cool lips slowly down my neck. It feels so good my eyes roll back in my head. I fall back on the mattress, propped up on my elbows, legs still hanging off the edge. He goes further and further. Across my collarbone, down my sternum and stomach, until he reaches just above my trouser waistband. Baz looks up from where he’s kneeling between my legs, eyes so dark I can only see the smallest ring of grey, and places a tentative hand over the button.

“May I?” he asks breathlessly.

I’m gripping the sheet so hard my knuckles are white. I can’t tell if it’s from nervousness or anticipation. Probably both. I know what he means. I know what he wants to do. Part of me is still confused by my own desire, but a louder part is only thinking in sex. In “yes, yes, please, more, do it.” And it’s a lot louder.

“Yeah,” I say, falling fully onto my back, "you can.”

I lay there, staring at the blemish free white ceiling, breathing harshly, just waiting. Everything is quiet. The only sound is the distant honks from far below and my own clamorous heartbeat. Baz doesn’t do anything for awhile and I start to think if I fucked up somehow. Am I too eager? Has he changed his mind? Is this all one big stupid mistake?

But then he pulls my pants down and takes me in his mouth. Then, well, I’m not thinking very much at all anymore.

———————————————-

I roll off Baz and flop next to him on his bed. We’re both panting and sweating and a bit sticky, bare bodies glistening in the city lights. It’s very dark out now. The sun set awhile ago. I manage to twist my still dizzy head to look at the digital clock on the nightstand. Holy shit, we just spent over two hours having sex. My muscles are totally dead, throbbing with blissful exhaustion.

And it hits me, again: I just had sex with Baz, with a guy, and I really, really liked it.

So does this mean I'm gay? But I liked it because it was Baz, not because it was a guy. He was so patient, so attentive, pushing just enough to get me to try new things but never so far that I was uncomfortable. I'm still unbelievably confused, but mostly just really fucking satisfied.

“Wow,” I say, voice raw and scratchy. “That was just, wow.”

Baz tries to chuckle, but his voice isn't much better than mine. “Had fun, Snow?”

“Uh, yeah! That was like the best sex I’ve ever had.” It’s only after the words burst out do I realise how fucking embarrassing that sounds. Baz laughs, of course. I cover my burning face. “I’ll shut up now,” I groan.

“Oh don’t be embarrassed, darling.” Baz peels my hands off, grinning face now hovering over mine. I can feel his foot pressed to my bare calf. He kisses my knuckles lightly. A thousand butterflies take off in my stomach. “It was really good for me too.”

His face is shiny with sweat, wavy hair all tangled because I kept pulling it (not that he complained). The city light dances across his skin perfectly. There’s a lot more butterflies flying now. I cup the back of his head and pull his mouth down to mine. I just want to be closer to him right now. It’s not urgent like before. It’s simply a lazy slide of our tired mouths, a calm way to end the frantic evening.

Baz pulls back slowly. His breath tickles my face. Then he collapses on top of me, face buried in the crook of my neck. I snort out a laugh I can’t help. He’s just too adorable.

“You tired, Basilton?” I tease.

“Shut up,” he grumbles. “And don’t use my full name. Only my family does that.”

“But it’s so funny! Your name is fucking Basilton Grimm-Pitch. You sound like an Edgar Allan Poe character.”

He chuckles against my skin. “Then you’ll love my first name.”

My heart does double time. I look down at him as best I can. “What the hell is your first name?!”

I feel his shit eating grin on my collarbone. “A man is allowed to have a few secrets, Snow.”

Damn, I really want to throttle the smug perfect bastard. He groans as pushes himself off me, slowly rolling onto his back then sitting upright, legs hanging off the edge. He stretches his arms to the sky, showing the grand muscular expanse of his back. (There are a lot of angry red scratches from my nails. Fuck, I was really into it.)

“I don’t know about you,” he yawns, “but I’m completely knackered. I’m brushing my teeth and going to bed.” His head turns halfway, showing just one eye, gaze slightly unsteady. Is he nervous again. “You want to stay? It’s alright if you don’t.”

Honestly, I’m not sure my muscles are strong enough right now to get me home. Even so, I do want to go. So I nod. “Yeah, I’ll stay.”

His mouth quirks up. “Good.”

Baz slips on his boxers and hands me mine. He leads me to the washroom. It’s huge and pristine and white of course. Baz gives me a fresh toothbrush, which is really thoughtful, because he’s really thoughtful. The vain bastard keeps hogging the mirror though. Once we’re done with our teeth, we go back to the bedroom and Baz takes out his posh red silk pyjamas. He tries to offer me a pair but I’m fine with an oversized t-shirt that looks totally unworn.

“That thing?” Baz says slightly disgusted. “I got that from the overeager poet’s society back at Oxford.”

Huh, makes sense. It does have a Byron joke on it. I shrug. “Eh, it’s fine. Kinda funny too.”

Baz waves dismissively. “Very well. You can keep it if you want. I’m not going to wear it.”

I pull at the hem. Well, if he’s offering, sure. It’s really comfy. And or some reason, I sort of like the idea of keeping this shirt. Keeping Baz’s clothes...it’s just sorta nice.

I flop down on the silk sheets and immediately sink into the comfy mattress. It’s like a goddamn smooth cloud. I’m already drifting off into dreamland when Baz lays next to me. He pulls the quilt over us. Distantly, I feel his long arm drape across my waist and his body curl around mine. His breath hits the back of my neck, almost immediately evening out in sleep. I instinctively snuggle closer, because he feels good. This whole night has felt good. Maybe I should just focus on that instead of the storm in my brain. Yeah, I’m fine with that.

———————————————-

I’m waiting for Baz at Goat while trying to do my readings. He meets me after class, then we have lunch and talk. We’ve been hanging out a lot more on campus the past three weeks, ever since I slept over. I do that a lot more too, actually. I go to his place at least once a week, usually more. Sometimes we just eat supper, maybe watch a movie, then fall asleep in Baz’s bed. Other times we use the bed for...other things.

I’m still straight though. That's still how I think of my self. I just also like this, whatever it is. It’s a sorta weird but awesome friends with benefits thing. I think. We haven’t really defined it. But whatever. We’re having fun. Who needs labels?

“Hello, love.” Baz’s hand is a comfortable weight on my shoulder. He bends around the back of the chair and kisses me. It’s just a short, sweet greeting kiss. He does this a lot now. I like it. I smile against his mouth.

“Hi,” I reply as he sits down across from me. “How was class?”

Baz stretches out his hand. “Well, my fingers hurt, so very good. How was your’s?”

I lift up my heavy textbook. “Professor Blowhard assigned extra readings again, of course. Does he realise we have lives outside of class?”

“Yes, but he doesn’t care, obviously. Because he's a dickhead.”

“Damn right. I need scones to feel better.”

Baz rolls his eyes. “Of course you do. Ebb already getting our food ready?”

“Ebb’s finished your food.” I jolt slightly. When did Ebb get here? Did she manifest out of thin air? She holds two plates with our usuals. A latte, sour cherry scone, and grilled cheese with tomato and spinach for me. (Baz suggested I try the last one, so Ebb made it, and it’s really good.) And a fancy turkey-pesto panini and pumpkin mocha breve for Baz.

Baz smiles up at her. He’s gotten very friendly with her. “Good day, Ebb. How’s it going?”

Ebb shrugs. “Pretty okay. I sort of want some new dishware but I’m not sure I have the funds for it.”

“Well, Christmas is coming up. Maybe I’ll keep that in mind.”

Ebb laughs and ruffles Baz’s already messy hair. She’s very friendly with him by now. “Aw, you don’t have to do that, Baz. Sweet of you to say though. He’s certainly a keeper, Si.”

She winks at me before sauntering off. I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean. I flick my eyes over to Baz. He’s taking a sip from his overly large coffee cup. When he lowers it, there’s whipped cream on the tip of his long nose. I snort and giggle. Baz’s brow furrows.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, actually genuinely concerned. He’s always very concerned about his appearance. It’s funny, and kind of cute.

I reach out and use one finger to swipe the whipped cream off. His nose scrunches like an adorable child. I hold it for him to see.

“You’re making a mess,” I tease, then lick my finger. Baz’s eye go wide, and he might blush. It’s hard to tell sometimes, what with his complexion and being emotional display repulsed British gentry. I’m not sure why though. I just don’t like wasting food.

“Christ, Simon,” he chuckles, shaking his head. His eyes flick up to mine and he smirks. That expression makes my stomach do a lot of funny things. “Like you’re one to talk about messes," he says. "My kitchen is still recovering from your pizza debacle.”

“It turned out to be good frozen pizza though.”

“Yes, at the sacrifice of a clean oven.”

I shrug, reaching my foot out to tap his for emphasis. “I’ll destroy my own next time, alright?”

He goes a step further, tracing the toe of his Oxford on my bare ankle. It makes me jolt, but in a good way. Baz seems to have that effect on me.

“Hm, y’know, I haven’t been to your place yet. Invite me over for oven destroying pizza sometime?” His voice is smooth as butter. It makes my legs feel weak, even though I’m already sitting down. And he’s right, he hasn’t been over yet. It’s not because of anything, his place has always just been easier. That should be corrected.

“Yeah, sure,” I chirp, “I’d like that. Though my flatmate might interrogate you. She still isn’t sure she approves of you.”

Baz shrugs dismissively. “Understood. But I’m sure it’ll be fine. She’ll warm up to me. I’m very likable.”

I scoff. “And full of yourself.”

He pushes his foot until it’s fully under my jean cuff. I yelp  in surprise. “Got you to like me, didn’t I?”

Shit, why is my face so flushed? I try to use my book to cover it, but my eyes peek out over the top. Baz is still smirking, still slowly moving his shoe up and down my skin. It’s sort of hard to say no when he’s doing that. Bastard. “That’s true, I suppose,” I say shakily.

“Exactly.” He leans forward on the table, chin cradled in his palm. “Want to come over tonight? Fiona’s at Nicky’s again. Those two need to just move in together already.”

“Yeah, agreed. And I can come over as long as you help me revise for a midterm.”

“Very well,” he sighs dramatically. “If that’s the price I must pay for a good shag.”

And I thought my blush couldn’t get any worse. I use a hand to cover my bright red face. “Baz,” I giggle, “shut up.”

He chuckles and slowly peels my hand away. I’ve found his violin calluses feel weirdly wonderful on my skin. “I’ll help you, love, don’t worry.”

Fuck, he’s always so nice. Just so kind and helpful and fun to be around. He’s like Penny, I guess, but our dynamic doesn’t feel like me and Penny. Not better, just different. My heart and stomach don’t feel twisty around her. And I definitely don’t want to snog Pen silly. Baz is just different. Whatever we have is different. I don’t know what it is, but I like it. And I certainly don’t want to stop.

———————————————-

A week later, Baz is scheduled to come over. I’m trying to salvage my stupid homemade stupid pizza when there’s a knock at the door. I run over still wearing the apron and oven mitts as I open it. Baz is standing on the other side, gym/overnight bag slung over his shoulder. He blinks at me confused, eyes big behind his glasses. (He’s been wearing them more. That's good. He looks amazing, and he needs to see.)

“Hi,” I say breathlessly, kissing him hello by habit.

“Good evening, Snow,” he says. “Nice apron.”

I look down. Right, this is Pen’s “Snog the Chef” apron. Micah sent it to her as a joke. He made the false assumption she cooks enough to need one. Both of us usually cook from a box or order take away. I chuckle.

“Uh, yeah. Still trying to make supper. Come in, come in.”

I race back to the kitchen, leaving Baz in the living room. I can still see him through a small square space in the wall. (The previous tenant had a thing for cutting random holes in the wall.) He scans the room, taking in his surroundings.

“Hm,” he says thoughtfully. “Nice place.”

I laugh loudly so he can hear me. “You don’t have to be nice, y’know. I’m aware it’s gross. I tried to clean a bit.”

“I’m serious, it’s nice. Love all the Polaroid pictures. Is this blonde girl your roommate?”

“Uh, no, that’s Agatha. The other girl, Penelope, she’s my flatmate. We all went to high school together.”

��I see, that’s nice. You all look happy.”

I lean out the weird window hole. Baz is looking at the picture from the summer, when we all went to Agatha’s family beach house. I smile. That was a happy time.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “Summer before final year. Can’t tell Agatha was about to break up with me a few weeks later, huh?”

It’s a joke, but I immediately regret it. Baz tenses up. Shit, that’s a serious topic, and I shouldn’t talk about Agatha like that.

“There’s no bad blood though,” I say quickly. “Like, it sucked when we split up but it was for the best in the end. We’re way better as friends. She lives in California now. She skypes me and Pen a lot, tells us all about America and shit. I sent her a British flag for Christmas last year, and she sent me a California one.” I sigh, shaking my head. “I’m babbling, sorry, I’ll stop.”

Baz turns his head. He’s smiling, no anger or disappointment, thank God. “It’s fine, love, don’t worry. She sounds lovely. I’m not jealous. Unless I have a reason to be.”

His raised eyebrows and toothy grin tells me he’s joking. I chuckle. Why would he have a reason to be jealous anyway? I mean, Agatha’s pretty, but so is he. “No, you definitely have no reason. Maybe I’ll introduce you two sometime. You can compare expensive hair products.”

“Hey, you like my hair.”

“Yeah, but I’ve also seen how many bottles you have in your shower. And how many bottles did you bring with you tonight?”

Baz doesn’t answer. I snicker as I pull my pizza out of the oven. Well, it’s not much of a pizza anymore. Sort of a dough, cheese, and sauce liquid mess in a pan. I groan and lean my head on the cupboard over the oven.

“Trouble with supper, love?”

I look up. Baz is leaning in the window hole, arms crossed over the sill and head on his bent elbow. He looks nice like this, relaxed and all. Huh, he really is a lot less uptight than he was two months ago. That’s good, I suppose. I smile weakly.

“I think this pizza is even more of a disaster than the last one. And this time it’s completely inedible.”

He frowns sarcastically. “Aw, what a surprise.”

I take a mitt off and throw it at his stupid smug pretty face. “Fuck off, I tried!”

Baz doesn’t looked fazed by the glove projectile, just holding it as he smiles. “I know, darling, and you did your best. Now, shall I order take away?”

I sigh, shaking off the other mitt so they lay in a messy pile on the counter. “I guess so. But I’m paying for it. I was supposed to make you a nice supper, I should at least pay for the substitute.”

“Well, I certainly have no problem with that.”

I turn off the oven and take off the dumb apron. With heavy steps and hanging head, I go into the living room. Baz immediately reaches out and pulls me against him, hugging me close. I wrap my arms around his firm back, easily sinking into his embrace. He smells nice. Like cedar and bergamot, I think.

“Want to watch a movie?” he whispers, breath tickling my ear.

“Sure,” I mumble into his shoulder. “Do you like Pixar?”

He chuckles. It’s a really nice sound, washing over me like a warm, relaxing wave. “Yeah. Pixar is wonderful.”

We don’t move for a bit though. We just stay there, hugging in the middle of my living room. He’s a good hugger, so I don’t mind. I just close my eyes, breathe in his smell, and let his strong, firm arms hold me.

———————————————-

“Why does Buzz go still?” Baz asks. “He doesn’t think he’s a toy. Why would he pretend to be one when a person walks in?”

“Shhh.” I reach up to blindly hit his stupid smart arse mouth. “You’re ruining the movie.”

“I’m simply pointing out a flaw in the film’s plot.”

“Just shut up and watch, arsehole.”

Baz makes a displeased noise, but does thankfully shut up. Our half eaten take away pizza is still sitting on the coffee table. The sun has mostly set, the light of the telly the main source now. I’m junk food tired so I’ve ended up with my head in Baz’s lap. His legs are comfortable. And I like the way he strokes my hair. I could probably fall asleep like this if I wanted.

“Sorry again about supper,” I mumble into his thigh.

Baz hums softly, winding a finger around one of my curls. “It's fine, love. You made the effort, that's what counts. And I appreciate it.”

I hum, throwing an arm over his knees. “You’re nice.”

Bizarrely, he scoffs at that. “You’re the first person to say that, Snow. Most people say I’m rude and mean.”

“You're not, they're all wrong," I say immediately, almost angry for him.

He pauses for a moment, hand still in my hair. "You really think so?" he asks, voice slightly shaky.

"Yeah, of course. You tease me but you also made me supper and watched Doctor Who. That means a lot. You’re, like, snarky nice. Fuck, does that even make sense?”

Baz runs his thumb over the nape of my neck. “No, I get it. Thank you, darling, you’re incredibly sweet.” He brushes his long fingers against my ear. “Sometimes I wonder how I found you,” he sighs.

I chuckle, sound muffled by his trouser leg. “You ‘found me’ in a boring psych lecture, remember?”

“Yeah,” he whisper-laughs. “Glad I did though. Honestly...” He takes an audible breath, like he’s getting ready to jump off a cliff or something. “I think you’re the best thing to come out of moving to Watford.”

My mouth suddenly feels dry. And my heart is bruising my ribs it’s beating so hard. That was definitely one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. But it doesn’t feel like when Penny or Agatha or Mum are nice. It feels so...new. I wish there was a more eloquent word for it, for what I feel when he says something like that. It’s an all encompassing sensation I've never experienced before. Like a supernova in my brain and chest. I just can’t place it.

The end credit music starts playing. I turn my head back to the screen. “Oh hey, it’s done,” I say. “Wanna watch something else?”

I can’t see Baz’s face, but I feel him lean back against the sofa. “Sure. Anything in mind?”

“Actually, yeah, I've got something. You’ll like it.” I fumble for the remote, then start flipping through my Netflix list. I know it’s there... “Aha! This!” I highlight a movie I found yesterday. Baz leans forward with curiosity.

“A documentary on an Australian string quartet?” He chuckles. “Really?”

Shit, I thought he would like it because there are string instruments and stuff in it. But it’s not like every chef adores cooking shows. “S-Sorry, it was just an idea. We can watch something else.”

Baz puts an arm around my waist and squeezes my stomach tight. I immediately relax. “No, that wasn’t a discouragement. I’m very intrigued. I’m just surprised you’re offering to watch it. It’ll be quite dull for you.”

I shrug. “Eh, maybe. But you’ll like it, and I’m willing to try.”

Baz doesn’t answer. Well, not with words. His arm holds me even tighter, and he leans down to kiss my hair. His cool lips press lightly to my scalp. I can’t help the shudder it makes. When he pulls back, he goes back to to softly stroking my hair. I feel like I could melt into the couch.

“Put it on,” Baz sighs. “Try not to fall asleep, Snow.”

“I’ll do my best,” I say, meaning it genuinely.

So the movie is objectively boring for me, because I'm not a violin student, and I’m not a huge fan of documentaries period. But there are some good parts. I like the people, following their progression and lives and how their careers influence everything around them. Baz likes that too. Though he’s also fascinated by all the fancy instruments. I just think they’re all really pretty.

“Hey,” Baz asks, “where’s your flatmate?”

“Oh she’s-” The front door suddenly slams, making both of us jolt. A few footstep sounds later, Penny is standing right in front of us. “She’s right here. Hi, Pen.”

Penny is frozen. She blinks at us in complete silence for a few long seconds. I don’t know what’s so baffling. “Hi... What’s going on here?”

“Baz and I are watching a movie.” What’s going on with her? Pretty sure that was obvious.

She quirks an eyebrow. “So this is Baz?”

“Oh right.” I gesture to her. “Baz, this is Penelope Bunce.” I gesture to him. “Penny, this is Baz Grimm-Pitch.”

“Hello, Penelope," Baz says smoothly. "May I call you that?”

“Um, sure.”

“Wonderful. Pleasure to finally meet you.” He offers his hand like the gentleman he is.

Cautiously, Penny takes the handshake. “Same for me. Good to put a face to the name.”

“Likewise.”

Their hands fall. Penny has a weird expression on her face. Her eyes keep flicking between me and Baz, looking positively perplexed. I don’t get it. We’re just watching a movie. She said it was okay to bring Baz over, but it still must be weird for her to have someone new around. She doesn’t like new people.  But Baz is going to be hanging around with me indefinitely, so they should probably get more comfortable with each other.

“Wanna watch and eat with us?” I ask. “Pizza is lukewarm but still good.”

She seems even more confused, head pulling back and mouth twisting for a moment. “Uh, sure, if that’s alright with both of you.” She looks pointedly at Baz.

“It’s perfectly fine with me. Snow’s the one taking up the entire sofa.”

I scoff and smack his knee. “Fuck off.” I swing my legs dramatically, putting myself upright. It makes my vision spin a bit, so I fall against Baz, head on his shoulder. I don’t think he minds though. “There, happy?”

He chuckles and throws an arm around me, pulling us even closer together. “Positively elated, Snow.” He presses a sloppy wet kiss to my cheek. I make a disgusted noise as I wipe it off.

“Arsehole.” I kiss his cheek too. Fair’s fair. I look up, and Penny’s eyes are incredibly wide. I gesture at her. “C’mon, Pen, there’s room now.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “Alright then."

She sits down, but closer to the other end. Weird. I try to make more room, putting my legs over Baz’s, pressing against him. But she doesn’t move any closer. Actually, she moves further away. Weird, but I get wanting your own space. She is watching the movie intently though.

“This is good,” she says through her pizza. “That violin is incredible.”

“It’s called the Gibson ex-Huberman Stradivarius,” Baz interjects. “Made by Antonio Stradivari of Cremona in 1713. Many say his string instruments are the greatest ever made. He’s estimated to have made 960 violins, 650 of which are still around. What I wouldn’t give to play a Stradivarius.”

“Right," Penny chuckles. "Simon said you were a violinist.”

“Yup, he is,” I say. “Which makes him a total music nerd.”

Baz flicks my far ear then kisses the other. “Says the Doctor Who nerd. And not just music. I enjoy history and English language too.”

“Hey, so does Penny! She never shuts up about that book about working people.”

“‘The Making of The English Working Class’ by EP Thompson, Si,” Penny says with some exasperation. “It’s an interesting read.”

Baz makes a contemplative sound. He’s good at those. “I’ll have to look it up. Shall we compare notes sometime?”

Penny turns her head. She seems to be examining Baz over her spectacles, brown eyes moving up and down over him. She does that a lot, examines people, like me the first day we met all those years ago. She’s assessing him, figuring out whether he’s worth her time. She decided I was. I can only hope she likes him

“I’ll think about it,” she says.

I breathe out a small sigh of relief. They get along, thank God. Neither of them notice the sigh, but they do notice the loud yawn I can’t help afterwards.

“Tired, Snow?” Baz teases.

“No,” I grumble. I rub my aching eye, which doesn’t help my case.

Baz sighs, then shoves off my legs and stands over me, all tall and looming and handsome. He offers his hand. “Then let’s go to bed. I have an early class tomorrow anyway.”

“Okay.” I take his hand and he hoists me to my feet. I’m a bit wobbly, but Baz keeps me steady with an arm around my waist. Damn, I’m tired. “Can you put away the pizza, Pen? I’ll clean up the rest in the morning.”

“Yeah, sure thing,” she says absentmindedly, already flipping to her own show.

“G’night, Pen.”

“Night Si. And Baz.”

“Goodnight, Penelope. Lovely to meet you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

I sigh again, because she sounds genuine, and I don’t need two of my best friends feuding. There’s no need for unnecessary drama.

Baz and I wash up quickly. (He hogs the mirror again.) I throw on my usual baggy shirt and sweats. I assumed he brought his ridiculous posh silk pyjamas, but to my surprise he takes one of my Watford sweatshirts and a matching set of grey trackies. I look at him with utter amusement.

“Really?” I chuckle.

“I left my bag in the living room,” he says nonchalantly. “And I don’t feel like going to get it.” His pretty face become nervous for a moment, looking down at the hardwood floor. “Is it alright?”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” I curl my fingers in his elastic waistband, making him stumble closer. “You look good. You should wear my clothes more often.”

He chuckles, leaning down to capture my lips. I sigh and melt into it. Baz holds my face, slowly running his finger over my cheek. I encircle his waist. Warmth spreads from my mouth and through my entire body. Damn. No matter how brief or how long, how fast or slow, Baz's kisses are always pretty damn great.

He pulls back slightly, leaving the smallest space between us. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he whispers against my skin. “Come on, now. I’m tired and so are you. Let’s sleep.”

I yawn right on cue. “Yeah, sounds good.”

Baz pulls me towards the bed. He lays down first, putting his glasses on the nightstand, and I follow, head pillowed on his strong chest. His arms wrap around me tightly. I like when he does that. Baz always makes me feel better just by holding me. How the hell does that work? Why does he feel so unlike any friend I've had before? I don't know. And I don't care, so long as he just keeps holding me.

“Night,” I mumble.

“Night, love,” he sighs.

I drift off with his left hand in my hair, his right tracing circles on my back, and his heartbeat right under my ear.

———————————————-

“Snow? Snow. Simon.”

I groan at the voice disturbing the my sleep. A rough, callused hand shakes my arm. Of course I know who it is, so I don’t even open my eyes.

“What?” I grumble

“I have to go,” Baz whispers. “I’ve got class until seven. Lunch at Goat tomorrow?”

“M-hm.”

“And are you still staying at my place Friday?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Did you understand anything I just said?”

I roll over, bleary eyes opening slightly. The dawn light doesn’t hurt my eyes too much. Baz is a blur of black, reddish-gold, and grey.

“Goat tomorrow, your flat Friday,” I mumble. “Got it.”

There’s white in the blur now, what I assume are his teeth in a wide grin. He leans forward. “Wonderful. See you later, darling.”

“Bye, love.”

He presses a kiss to my hairline. Even half asleep, I can feel his cool lips on my forehead and the smell of all his fancy products waft up my nose. I listen as his shoes click out the door.

I think I fall asleep again, because when I wake up it’s a lot brighter outside. I groan at the burning sunlight and bring the sheet over my head. I don’t have class until two so I don’t have to get up just yet. I just lay in bed, trying to block out the day. And under those sheets, it hits me that I called Baz ‘love’ for the first time. Huh. Guess his use of cute nicknames is rubbing off on me. It’s new, but so is a lot of stuff we’re doing, and I’ve like it all so far. I think I like this too.

My stomach growls like an angry lion. Guess that’s my cue to get up. I throw off my sheet and immediately shiver. Fuck, it’s chilly. I look over and see that Baz left my sweatshirt folded on my dresser, so I slip it on. I press it to my nose. It still sort of smells like him, a gorgeous mix of his cologne and fancy products. That makes me smile like an idiot, for whatever reason.

I saunter into the kitchen. Penny doesn’t have any class, so she’s sitting at the dining room table with a bunch of textbooks spread out. It’s like the school library threw up on it. The coffee in the pot is old, but I don’t feel like making a new one. So I pour it out and put it in the microwave.

“That’s disgusting, Si,” Penny sing songs.

“Shut up, Pen,” I reply with my most chipper voice. The microwave beeps. I drink from the mug and promptly spit the whole thing out in the sink. Oh Christ, it is disgusting.

“Told you so.”

I glare at her through the kitchen wall hole as I pour the coffee out. I start setting up the kettle for tea instead. Screw coffee. Baz says tea is better for you anyway.

“So,” she says very matter of factly, staring at me through our lovely wall hole, “Baz.”

She doesn’t continue. Nothing to explain what the fuck she’s talking about. She just looks at me with narrow eyes while twirling a pencil in her hand. I blink at her, silence hanging between us, and still nothing.

“Yeah, Baz,” I chuckle.

“You like him?”

“Uh, yeah. He’s cool.”

“Is he nice?”

“Yeah. Well, sorta.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Sort of?”

I shrug, scratching the back of my neck. “He’s nice in the important ways, y’know? Helps me out when I need it and treats me well. But he also teases me. In fun though. I tease him too, and I try to be nice. I hope he thinks I’m nice too.”

The kettle whistles. I get out my Adventure Time mug and a peppermint tea bag. When I look back at Penny, she’s twisting her lips, brow furrowed together, pencil tapping on the table rhythmically. That’s her concerned friend look. She always looks like this when I make a major life decision, or when I attempt cooking.

“And, you’re happy, right?” she asks carefully.

I blink at her in confusion again. That’s a weird question. I’ve been depressed before, sure, but I haven’t lately. So I’m not sure why Penny is concerned with my emotional state. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She chuckles and her concerned look goes away. That’s a relief. I don’t like making Penny worried. “Alright then. As long as you’re happy.”

“Okay,” I chuckle, laughing at the absurdity of this.“Fun talk, Pen. Enjoy studying.”

“Will do. Get to class on time!”

I scoff, walking towards my room with lovely steaming tea in hand. “If I got to class on time, I wouldn’t be Simon Snow Salisbury.”

Penny sighs with exasperation. Now that’s a sound I’ve heard since high school. It’s become weirdly comforting in a way. Penny’s always going to be a bit frustrated with me, and she still loves me anyway.

———————————————-

“Simon, what are you doing this weekend?”

I look up from my fancy grilled cheese, mouth still full. Baz has finished his panini and is now in his “villain position” again. One long leg over the other, bony elbows propped on his armrests, fingers pressed together. It’s still half intimidating-half badass. I swallow my food. Don’t want to be rude with him.

“This weekend?” I ask. “Uh, nothing. I don’t have anything planned. Why?”

He drums his fingers together slowly. Total Bond villain. “Well, I have a proposition for something we could do.”

That makes me put down my food and shift in my chair. “Oh?”

“Yes.” He leans forward, elbows on the table. “You see, my parents wanted me to come home for the whole break next week. But I couldn’t do that with my practice schedule. I still want to see them though, so I’m driving up for family dinner on Sunday.”

“Okay...”

“And the thing is...” He drums his fingers on the wooden table and chews at his lip. “I’ve mentioned you to them, and they’re wondering if you’d like to come up with me.”

I nearly drop my sandwich. I stare at Baz silently for an inappropriate amount of time. “Your parents," I say cautiously, "want me to come over for dinner?”

He nods slowly, face pinched together in nervousness. “Yes. They’re both eager to meet you, though they may not show it outwardly. But please, love, don’t feel pressured. I told them it might be too soon for this but they can be...insistent. It’s completely up to you though. They’ll survive if you say no.” He rubs his nose under his glasses. “Sorry, this is just a whole mess. I thought about not asking but I wanted to give you the choice.”

“O-Okay.” I nod, like a very slow moving bobble head. Wow, this is just a lot. I haven’t met a friend’s parents since Agatha. And we were dating, which made it very scary. This seems even scarier though. My heart is pulsing too fast. Fuck, why does this feel so intimidating?

Baz grabs my hand, thumb tracing the back of it. It immediately calms me down. “Don’t panic, love, no matter what decision you make I’ll understand. It’s not like we’ll stop speaking if you don’t come to dinner with my pushy, posh parents.” He squeezes my hand. “It’s up to you, love.”

Right, up to me... Fuck. Do I want to meet Baz’s posh family? Even though it’s scary? I mean, I guess it would be nice. They’re probably smart like Baz, cultured too, all that. It sounds intimidating, and it was with Baz at first, but I learned. And maybe I can learn with his family too. I'd like to know more about Baz, be part of another aspect of his life. That's what friends do, right?

“Okay,” I say, “I’d like to come.”

Baz’s eyebrows shoot up, his mouth falling open slightly. “Really?”

“Yeah. It sounds fun, and I’d like to meet your parents. If they’re anything like you, they’ll be posh, really smart, and weirdly nice.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Well, that’s one way to see them.”

I giggle too, leaning closer to him over the the small table. “Okay, good to know. Anything I should bring?”

“Well, Sunday nights are our ‘fancy dinners’, so we dress up. You’ll have to wear a suit.”

I frown. “I don’t own a suit.”

He nods like some thoughtful scholar. “Hm, alright. Well, I’ve got one you could borrow. Is that alright?”

“Sure. If it fits me, Mr. Tall and Lanky.” I poke his muscular shoulder for emphasis, making him laugh.

“You’re not that much shorter than me, don’t worry. So we’ll go up Sunday afternoon and leave Monday morning. I’ll certainly be drinking, so I don’t want to drive home the night of.”

“Very responsible, love, very responsible.”

Baz chuckles softly, and I do too. He looks me in the eye. All I see is kindness. Who the hell ever said he was an arsehole? He’s actually incredible.

“You sure you’re alright with this?” he asks, his voice still concerned.

I adjust our hands, so we’re smooth palm to scratchy palm, and smile as big as I can. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Baz smiles back. Not as big, but it’s still kind and calm. He leans forward and kisses my cheek, whispering in my ear. “Wonderful. Can’t wait.”

And weirdly enough, neither can I.

———————————————-

AN: So the documentary is real and called "Highly Strung", and the book Penny mentions is real too. Hope you all liked this. I like writing this fluffy definitely-not-a-relationship haha. Tomorrow, "adventure" :)

[worldsbestpredators]

ramble to me about Eleanor

Send me the name of one of my Muses you want to learn more about, and I’ll ramble about them.

DSBRGEOUGHRSEUOONFOSNGFDGN i could talk about Eleanor McCarty (the Cullen is optional) all day *cries*

She might actually be my favorite Twilight Muse. I'd say it's a tie between her and Edythe, but lately it feels like I talk more about Eleanor to those who put up with me going on and on about fictional characters.

tbh I love the whole McCarty family which I had to create myself since someone didn't think Emmett and Eleanor's backstories were good expand on... although knowing SM she would have ruined them anyway, so the McCarty family is mine now. All 11 of them (not including the four grandparents). Yes Eleanor has 7 or 8 biological siblings depending on if its the twin verse or not (but lbr its always the twin verse)

I can't remember what exactly made me include El when I decided to write Emmett, but she really just became her own person instead of just a "female version of Emmett" She's a clown, but she's not as exactly chill as Emmett. She doesn't show it but for a long time she felt like she had something to prove because her mother did not approve of her ( #mommyissues). For years Eleanor was the only girl in the family, so her mother put pressure on her to be a proper young lady. To be the young woman that she (mama McCarty) wanted to be when she was that age, but Eleanor was more interested in doing whatever her brothers did. It was easier to keep up with her brothers than be whoever her mother wanted her to be, which caused many disagreements. Eleanor prefers her father over her mother. He had always been supportive of her, although he didn't always understand her.

The pressure Doris McCarty put on Eleanor lessened after the second girl (and youngest child) was born. Sasha was the little girl Doris always wanted. Well almost. Sasha did like to roughhouse with her brothers, and occasionally made a few of the ones closer to her age cry, but 9 kids can really tire a person out.

Got a bit off topic. but Eleanor gets jealous often, she just hides it very well. As a kid she was jealous of her brothers' freedom, as a teen she was jealous of her brothers' being able to have an obvious relationship with women while when she flirted with girls it was frowned upon ( in the 1900s when she was human in twilight verses, in other verses her mom still didn't like it but it was only her she had to deal with). Hell, after getting turned into a vampire Eleanor was jealous of Rosalie's preference for Emmett and their relationship. She eventually got over the last one, but it never seemed fair that Emmett always got the girls she wanted so effortlessly.

this is getting long so

El isn't skinny, but she isn't all muscles either. She has a soft layer of fat over her muscles, and she loves her body. Her body is still like this as a vampire. The venom didn't change much other than getting rid of all her scars (minus the original bite mark that changed her). Her nails grew a bit, she usually always kept them short, but she bit them back down to a comfortable length after finding out that a nail clipper wouldn't work. She still finds the face Edward gave her when finding her biting her toenails in the living room hilarious, and the face he made when she said "what, do you wanna bite them off for me?" even funnier.

Her hair grew a bit more, and her curls became a little more defined after the change as well.

The only time Eleanor is a little slimmer is in the DC verse when she becomes Batgirl for a bit (or the other DC verse where she becomes a vigilante). The constant action (plus the training it took for her to be allowed to be Batgirl) made her burn off waaay more than she could eat. Her body is more like the picturebelow

she doesn't stay in the crime fighting life for long. maybe a year or so depending on the verse. She loves the adrenaline rush, but she's stubborn and very angry at the time (anger is her way of grieving as a 18/19/20 year old). Crime fighting is the worst therapy, and her heart was never in it. She loved helping people, but all the patrols and rules got on her nerves. Also she can't bring her pet chicken, Carl, with her even though she got him a little mask to hide his identity as well (Bruce was not very amused by that, or if he was he did not show it). a world where crime fighting chickens are frowned upon is a world she does not want to be part of

-

in her HP verse, she's a Slytherin. The only Slytherin in her family besides her mother. She's also a halfblood. Her mother met her muggle father, fell in love, and moved to a different country to be with him. Her siblings are scattered across the other three houses, which didn't bother her because it allowed her space from them. She loves her brothers, but sometimes they were too nosy. It never stopped her from visiting them. All the McCarty kids shared house secrets with each other. Rules be damned, they all hang out in each other's common rooms until they get kicked out.

When they were in their second year, Eleanor actually found a way to show her dorm to Emmett by carrying him on her back to the door. The floors may prevent boys from entering girl dorms, but if his feet doesn't touch the floor how would the floor know? ( she may be an idiot and a clown most of the time, but she's not dumb)

Eleanor gets into too much trouble to become a Head Girl or Prefect, but that did not stop her from giving herself the title of Head Mom / Slythermum at some point and keeping an eye out for the younger Slytherins (well younger students in general, but it was easier to spend time with the bb slytherins) She just couldn't not be a chaotic big sister to someone. She speaks to everyone, even if it's just a passing hey in the hall.

.

uhhh i can't think of more crossover verses so a fun fact about the twilight & death verse before we go. When the Edward and Bella thing goes on, and the family has that meeting where Edward is outed by Alice, Emmett's laughing, but Eleanor literally said out loud "how did you go from wanting to kill her to wanting to fuck her?" because she's genuinely confused. after that, since no one's gonna actually listen to her about why this shit is weird, everytime edward and bella do something she refers to it in her head as 'white nonsense' and sometimes aloud to emmett. she's still friendly to Bella, and grows to like her (she's never outright mean or dismissive to the girl because she's done nothing to deserve it) but she doesn't understand whatever is going on between Edward and Bella. Same goes for Edythe and Beau (or Edy and Bella or Ed and Beau... you get the point) she just doesn't understand it.

i do have a hc that Eleanor would probably offer to take Bella to an adult toy shop, but since I never have a Bella to write with idk how to imagine it going. Especially since Eleanor would absolutely sit next to Bella and say "so, Bella, I hear you want your pussy popped. You're in luck, little sis because I know all the raunchy stores that Edward will never take you to. "

[ninthextrication]

ok, it’s time to actually talk about this, so. Headcanon dump, for Junpei and his relationship with his parents.

warnings for mentions of death, emotional neglect. This one got long.

ze spoilers

First off: I decided a while back that his parents names are Gorou and Hoshiko, both in reference to his bracelet being number five. Plus, Tenmyouji Gorou and Tenmyouji Hoshiko are just nice sounding names.

That out of the way, onto their actual relationship. The first thing of note was the fact that Junpei wasn’t exactly planned for. Now, they were excited to find out that Hoshiko was pregnant- it’s just that neither of them were at all willing to give up their careers to care for a child, because they were both in very promising positions.

His mother ended up working as long as she possibly could before she had to take maternity. Even once Junpei was born, she would’ve gone back to work as soon as she could, leaving the baby Junpei in the care of his grandmother who lived with them at the time. That was all well and good, and it worked out great- until his grandmother died, when he was three. He was far too young to really remember her, so he doesn’t really miss her.

After her death, Junpei’s parents hired someone to work basically as a live-in babysitter. They would’ve sent him to preschool, but couldn’t count on being off work in time to pick him up, so this ended up being the best option.

Maybe made a little obvious by the lack of name, but Junpei was incredibly neutral on this person. They were there until he finally started grade school, at which point he was left alone.

As a young child, and at this age, Junpei still very much looked up to his parents. When he saw them (which wasn’t that often, he usually was asleep before they got home) he was always excited, and he wanted to engage them and talk to them. Usually it wouldn’t work out- they were too tired. However, he really did appreciate the excuse given, that they were working to support him and that it was for his sake. This almost started to twist into a sense of guilt- don’t mention that you’re lonely, because they’re doing this for you. Don’t bother them too much, they’re doing this for you.

His biggest happiness was when he found a runaway puppy- a little english sheepdog that he’d later name Pluto. He was overjoyed when his parents allowed him to keep it on the promise that he’d look after it, and he was a little bit less lonely now that he had his dog.

Still, though, Junpei did want that emotional closeness with his parents. He wanted to be able to talk to them more often, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t really know how to form relationships with people just in general, because he’d missed a lot of key interactions during those formative years.

Now, an easy question might arise at this point: regardless of Junpei’s opinions towards his parents as a kid, was how they handled things right? And the answer is no, not really. Junpei suffered from rather severe emotional neglect, something that started in his childhood and continued until he left home for college. Regardless of the fact that this distance was not intentional, the implications for how he developed are there. His difficulty at forming relationships, awkwardness at understanding emotions, and just complete lack of receptiveness to affection are all things that started very young. 

The latter of that trio is particularly interesting to me- he’s bad with displays of fondness towards himself not just because of the depression, but also because he’s genuinely still just not used to them. To him, affection was the occasional smile or the chance of someone else making him a meal. Physical affection is weird and odd, but it’s also why he does love being touched (platonically) by people he cares for so much- he’s starved for it. Hugs, hand holding, back pats, all of them fill a simple need he didn’t actually realize he even had.

Jumping forwards a bit to his teenage years, Junpei started to care a bit less about his relationship with his parents. They were never there, and that was just normal- he never considered any part of it neglectful, it was just life. Just normal. Still, despite everything, he wanted to make them proud of him. It was slight, but he could tell there was a different in how they acted around him at times- if they were disappointed they’d come home later and talk less, but if they were proud then he would sometimes have the chance of seeing them before gong to bed. The change was so subtle that he honestly wasn’t even aware of this fact, nor was he actually aware of his desire to make them proud.

As was kinda mentioned in the school hcs post a bit ago Junpei did well in school, so it got easier for him as he got older to make them proud of him. He more understood it as just enjoying schoolwork and being proud in accomplishment, but there was still an underlying desire to make them want to spend more time at home.

With his college education, Junpei was given the options between picking for Law, Business, or Science. He chose business for no other reason than it seemed practical enough- there was never any real choice in it for him, though. He was just following one of the three predetermined paths his parents had chosen for him.

Once at college, Junpei spoke with his parents even less. He rarely went back home, and got a job so he’d be able to keep affording food and rent (even if it was cheap food and a cheaper apartment). There wasn’t really much of a perceivable difference for him in anything.

Interestingly, post-nonary game Junpei found himself almost resenting them, in a sort of way. It was a sharp reaction to what’d happened to him- he felt like he’d completely and utterly lost control of everything in his life at that point. In the plane ride back to Japan he’d more or less determined that he was going to kill himself once he was finally back at his apartment, and the only thing that stopped him from doing that was Hazuki and Seven insisting on him going with one of them for the time being.

Once the initial moment passed though, it went back to normal. He decided that resentment had been unfair- after all, they’d told him they wanted what was best for him. His choice to become a detective ended up signifying two things: one, that he’d never be able to live up to those expectations; and two, that he needed to cut ties with them so that they’d never determine him to be a disappointment. It was easier in his mind for them to think of him as dead, and in all honesty he doesn’t really think they’d be that affected by it. As far as Junpei is aware, they wouldn’t miss him.

Nowadays in citta, Junpei is filled with confused and conflicted thoughts about his parents. He doesn’t think poorly of them, not at all, but he can’t help but wonder if perhaps things could’ve been different. He wonders if he should’ve tried harder to talk to them and communicate, or of it had something to do with when he was a kid that he’s forgotten. He generally ignores thinking about them just in general, though. It’s easier that way. He still doesn’t really recognize any form of neglect from his childhood- that was just how things were. It was life, it was normal, nothing to get upset or worried about.

I feel like some of this got very rambly and maybe rather confusing, so I’ll tl;dr it right here: Junpei’s parents were emotionally distant and neglectful towards him for a multitude of reasons, and this distance led to his issues with forming emotional connections with others. He still does subconsciously want them to be proud of him, but I doubt he’ll ever be aware of that fact.

Also, on a related note- Junpei’s obsessiveness and tendency towards unhealthy relationships is a direct result of this. He never learned how to form healthy relationships and never really understood how they work, so he genuinely does not have a baseline for what a healthy romantic relationship (or even just a healthy relationship in general) should look like. Now, this has been slowly getting better within citta (he got a very good example of an unhealthy relationship watching Clover and Phi), and he’s started to understand the importance of boundaries thanks to Akane. His tendencies are still not the best, but they’re a lot better than they were. At the very least, he is capable of being in a healthy relationship by now. And personally I think he’d be able to do it now that he’s in therapy, that’s a good weekly guideline for what to do and what not to do.

[fireandgloryrpg]

Congratulations Bah and welcome! We’re so happy to accept your application to play Fergus Fitzgerlad with the faceclaim of KJ Apa in Fire & Glory RPG! We can’t wait to begin roleplaying with you so please remember to look over our checklist!

!!! tw: blood and implied torture and child abuse !!!

Out of Character Information:

Name: Bah, They/Them

Age: 24, rip

Timezone: GMT – 3 (I ALMOST FORGOT THIS AGAIN)

Activity: I can give y’all a solid 7, I can be on a little every day and more on the weekends. Y’all know me and how it goes.

Anything Else?: Also! You can delete whatever comments I make between parenthesis down this app, this is basically just the reviewed application SINCE I HAD NO IDEA Y’ALL WERE BRINGING F&G BACK I finally had the time and patience to sit my butt down and actually go through family trees and background plots with others so I got a better gist of revamped Fergus. Also I’m sitting alone in an empty apartment surrounded by boxes cause we moving so I had the time and nothing else to do.

Original Character Application:

Name: Fergus Rowan Fitzgerald

Age and Birthday: 18, 01/10/1999

Faceclaim: KJ Apa / Taron Egerton

Heritage: Son of Oceanus, Legacy of Venus (4 Generations) & Luna (5 gen) (Basically since this is the reviewed app, I went through the whole family tree (s/o to Olivia) and it’s Olden Roman so there’s a bunch of weird Godly Legacies there, only Venus and Luna are relevant here.)

Affiliation: Centurion of the 2nd Cohort, Unwilling* member of the Cult of Romulus (* He joined due to familial pressure.)

ABILITIES:

[From Oceanus] Hydrogenesys/Hydrokinesys – The simples and most common ability to children related to Sea-Gods, Fergus can create, control and shape water however he wants. Well, maybe not however he wants since it’s like a muscle he should practice and he tends to ignore his water-based powers, it’s still an ability he has inherited. His father’s powers are much alike those of his nephew Poseidon. It’s directly related to atmokinesys, the ability to control the weather, such as hurricanes, being another power he does not have any interest in pursuing or practicing with.

Monster Talk – Fergus cannot control Sea Monsters but he does speak their language and senses them much easier than any other kind of monster. He can also communicate with any sea creature, though he can talk better to the deep sea ones. He can also understand, though not speak, the Old Times language, spoken by the monsters, titans and beings before the Olympian Gods. Despite talking to the fish in the aquarium at home, he’s never put any of those abilities to test, nor intends to.

[From Luna] He hasn’t quite inherited any direct powers from the moon goddess but her blood influence on him and the fact the tides and the ocean are deeply connected, grants the fact his powers get much stronger during a full moon and much weaker and vulnerable during a New Moon. Eclipses are variants.

[From Venus] + Oceanus What Fergus did inherit from his Venus blood, added to being a demi-titan was his father’s shapeshifting abilities, though he lacks any kind of control or even awareness over it, his body can change to adapt to certain situations. Oceanus’ original form is that of a merman and so Fergus should be of the same nature, he has never been in a situation that demanded so and doesn’t swim often, let alone to deep waters that’s where his body should change. One situation that his body adapted however was the transitioning, the moment Fergus’ started hormone replacement therapy his body swiftly adapted to the biological human male form.  He also has a variant of charmspeak, much similar to that of sirens and mermaids in the myths, he can sing and project suggestions, orders or emotions into the song and have whoever’s listening under a kind of trance, a form of teleempathy per say. Fergus is keenly aware of that and it’s one of the skills he has honed, though he has no use for it and is too shy to sing in public.

Headcanons: 

[My Heart Belongs To The Sea] Son of the Ocean, legacy of Luna and somewhat down the line of Lelantus mostly means Fergus biological clock is opposite to day people and that his powers are always stronger from 6PM to 5AM, just like the tides. He is, indeed, ruled by the rising and retreating tides, his mood is deeply connected to the marine weather. Instead of him having power over the Seas, it’s more of a symbiotic relationship. Whereas Fergus bad mood could cause storms, the naturally occurring ones make him cranky and hostile, and so on. Though he has adapted to the Legion’s strict daily schedule, it’s no wonder people think him hostile and sullen most of the day, it’s when his energy is at its lowest, specially between 12 and 4 PM. It’s not uncommon to find Fergus napping during the day between whatever duties he has to tend to. 12AM on Full Moon nights are when his power and energy take him the closest to his Godly heritage as possible and thus when Fergus avoids being anywhere near the Ocean. The fact his personality and mood is so deeply tied with the Sea and its nature, he’s see as an absolute asshole most times, with a fickle personality. (See HC below.)

[Jerk With A Heart Of Gold] Fergus is a big asshole. Maybe not entirely unwarranted, most times he’s stern, rispid, sullen, hostile and with a bad temperament. He doesn’t talk a lot and solves most of his problems either by himself. Though most people may think it’s just because he’s an asshole, he is one but not out of spite, and simply because he does not know how to deal with people, two parts abuse and one part tied to the asinine personality of the Sea. He wasn’t properly socialized as a child, always focusing on training and being the best soldier he could be, he is great at war and he is excellent at teamwork but he’s God-awful at socialization. He doesn’t know how to read social cues, he doesn’t know how to deal with people’s feelings and emotions, considering he doesn’t know how to deal with his own. Anyone who gets any closer to him soon realizes he doesn’t mean to be a dick but rather he was made out to be one.

[Denial Is Not A River In Egypt Only] Fergus denies his entire heritage from Oceanus – everything else, Luna, Venus, Lelantos, Mars, whatever’s on the Fitzgerald family tree, he’s alright with it, but he’d rather pretend he’s nothing but a long standing legacy than admit he’s the son of a Titan. Not only for the fact he was never officially claimed, plus the fact his father was in the “wrong” side of the second Titan war, but the Ocean is too dangerous to be related to. In an incident as a child, on a temper tantrum he created a small scale tornado, destroyed half of the Fitzgerald estate, killed two dogs and almost drowned some relatives including his mother. Ever since he’s dedicated to control and suppress anything water-related, he despises his water powers and his relationship with the ocean. That can and will eventually lead to something that’ll only cause him harm but so far, he’s living with it.

Biography: 

A direct descendant of the original Deirdre of Sorrows, the Venus daughter from over 600 years ago whose beauty waged wars among men. She fled the Éire after the conflicts caused over who would wed her and moved to a Roman settlement in England at the time, being guided by her mother. Fergus Fitzgerald followed her suit and later they married.

The Fitzgerald family has been with the Roman group of demigods ever since, though they chose to keep their last name such as not to shed the family’s origins. Some of Deirdre’s grandchildren also returned to Ireland later and part of the family also remains there, including legacies from other gods that were born into the family. They live in a place named Valley of Love, a much smaller version of places like Camp Half-Blood and New Rome. The borders have protective magic and the valley itself was blessed by the goddess of love herself.  

The Fitzgerald’s have been actively participant in the formation of New Rome ever since they settled in San Francisco, before that many of the family were part of the civil war against the greeks and such. They are known for being passionate and honest to the point of bluntness in their ways.

Rowan Fitzgerald was the third child of Venus to be born in the direct descending line of the family, being Oleana Fitzgerald’s grandfather and Fergus great-grandfather, he was a Centurion of the First Cohort and known for his beauty. He was considered “a distraction” on the battlefield and used it. The family is well-known for their beauty and while there was mockery among their Roman counterparts in the beginning, it has long delved into most respect and admiration.

Oleana was a prominent centurion of the First Cohort, as harsh as she was pretty, she had a meteoric military career but when turning 21, during war games she was thrown off a tower by accident and that was the end of it. She almost died and while mostly recovered, her spine was fractured in three different points. She had dreams of becoming Praetor and those were crushed along with her spine. While her mother was part of the Roman council, frustrated and angry, Oleana left to Ireland where some of the family remained, to step away for a while.

Bound to a wheelchair, she still had a too-wild spirit and didn’t quite accept set backs. She became a Mixed Martial Arts Instructor, taking her frustration and anger out on her trainees. Trying to find herself again, while her anger started to subdue, she became friends with the homeless man that lived by the sea near the Fitzgerald’s house in Belfast. Their friendship lasted three long years and she never realized he was the ocean Titan. Though most people tended to avoid him, Oleana hadn’t. She wasn’t afraid, nor repulsed. There was no romantic love but there was deep respect between the two of them, forces of their own right. She was set to return to New Rome and decided to tell her “homeless friend” whom she actually was – so he revealed who he truly was as well.

It wasn’t a romance but more an agreement on the parts, they were friends and he could not heal her, but he could give her something to be equally proud of, rather than a career. A powerful child to carry on her family’s legacy and to carry on her dreams. He warned Oleana he was never going to be around and unlikely to ever meet his child and if he did, he had never loved any of his children. To that she didn’t mind, she could love a child for both of them and raise them to be a demigod like New Rome had never seen.

Returning to New Rome, Oleana turned into the political life like most of the women in her family – she gave birth to Deirdre eight months later due to a very complicated and fragile pregnancy. When her child was a year old she also married the daughter of Phoebus Apollo, Dana, who helped her through it all. Together they were set on raising the baby girl as happy and as dutiful as any roman family would. Maybe Dana was the one most responsible for the happy part and Oleana too set on raising a good child.

The demand and expectations were high from the moment the child learned to walk and talk – child of a Titan, legacy of other Gods, from a prominent family, Fergus started to learn how to throw a spear even before he knew how to properly write down his name.

Speaking of names, from age eight he was categoric in the fact he did not like being called a ‘she’ nor appreciated the name ‘Deirdre’. While most of his family deemed it a phase and let go, as long as he was a good soldier, his mothers kept a close eye to make sure he wasn’t going to suffer any more for it.

The moment he went to join the First cohort following on his mothers’ footsteps, Fergus donned the name of his ancestor for the first time. He also desired to be addressed as a male, had his hair cut and presented as such. From then on, his mothers were nothing but supportive as they followed through with even the appropriate paperwork.

Though he only always had the support of his family, Fergus felt he had to prove himself twice now – from the shadow of his mother to the fact he wasn’t biologically male, also going through the fact he was never claimed (technically, even if it was no secret), he was insecure and anxious about his place in the Twelfth Legion, which only made him grow stern on the outside.

It was no surprise to anyone when he became Centurion for the Second Cohort, trained since age five, ten years down the line he was an outstanding legionnaire. Loyal to the legion and his Cohort, stern and with moral standards almost too high to demand from anyone. Fergus set the highest bar for himself and a bar almost as high to everyone else.  

Para Sample: 

tw: blood, implied torture, child abuse

“Are you going to talk back?”

Her voice was harsh as he stood there, his chest stripped bare and he knelt on the stone ground of the courtyard, in response to the phrase he merely shook his head. It was a cold, dark night, the sky lacking any sign of moonlight with only the shadow of the New Moon. Fergus stared at the barely distinguishable shadow of himself on the courtyard ground and gritted his teeth, it was immediate. A swift, quick sound and the loud smack against his shoulderblades – he could feel as the whip simply ripped a strip of skin, immediately followed by a bucket of ice-cold water that had him consciously stopping himself from trying to control said water.

He gasped silently and dared not close his eyes. It was for his own good. He was going to go through the Cult trials. He didn’t care for the Cult, truly, he didn’t want it at all but it was just another thing he owed his mother. Like the good son he was, he couldn’t let her down. She had loved and raised him after all, the least he could do was not disappoint, right?

“Fergus, baby, are you okay?”

He looked up as her voice had softened, she sat in her chair in front of him and still, he’d always see her standing tall and proud. Part of him wondered if he would ever be like her, if he would one day ever live up to her legacy. Actually to all of his family’s legacy. His entire body was stiff as he hadn’t moved in a good hour, kneeling in the hard cold pavement and letting her beat him senseless. Well, not her but his older cousin Saoirse, who was only following his mother’s commands.

He didn’t feel hate, or anger, he only felt the hard pain in the pit of his stomach – was she pleased with how he was enduring? Would he pass the cult’s trials ahead? Was he good enough? He couldn’t know and her eyes would not tell. But alas, he endured, unmoving like a stone, lips pressed together into a thin line, feeling the cold water mix with blood and sting down his back.

“You can respond.”

Finally. He sighed loudly and still didn’t move but his lips felt almost glued as he opened his mouth to respond. “Yea ma’, I’m good.” He wasn’t good exactly, he could definitely be spending his time better than being tortured on his house’s pateo but then again, if this would satisfy his mothers, he could do it over and over. Mother looked down on him and he could see the twisted feelings in her eyes. She didn’t take pleasure in doing this and he didn’t enjoy it, of course he didn’t, but it was needed, right? It was out of love. At least that’s how he’d always justify it to himself.

“Okay, get up then.” She commanded and he followed. It was in the flick of a moment, he didn’t have time to will away the stiffness set in his bones. Mother had simply flicked one hand towards his direction and he barely had time to hold up his hand before Saoirse’s foot was well on the direction of his chin. It hit him but not square on the face as he was practically thrown away and staggered. He looked down and spit blood on the floor.

“You expect a fight to be fair, it will never be fair!” She shouted back at him and he could hear the anger on her words. Fergus winced as Saoirse stepped back and mother glared back at him. So, he had failed again.