#plus i don’t tend to listen to a single song very much

[anythingbyadriannelenker]

hozier and adrianne must’ve been battling it out for no. 1…

[wtfliaa]

Feedback for my moodboard/reading.

Sorry if is long but couldn't describe it in just few lines plus you worked so hard and it shows!!

I admit it I'm not good at writing down my excitement and English not being my native language is another barrier, but if I tell you that as I saw the moodboard (the whole reading too) I let out the most embarassing noises and I wanted to flip tables (from excitement) can sum up my reaction and convey the really strong emotions I felt ?

This is honestly one of the best descriptions of my fs I had, from the moodboard to the reading. A lot of physical and personality traits you picked up on is exactly what I manifested for my future spouse and it makes me happy knowing that the universe heard me. Oh dear, you don't have to apologize for going a bit "over limit" because you did the right thing and I even thank you soo much for going over limit because it makes everything even more hot and I was blushing 🔥🤭

Now, how did you know I have a crush on Nicholas Chavez ???? 😭😭 plus manly and good looking??? stern, dominant and assertive??? literally the man of my dreams you mean!!! 😍😍 As for the rbf, I love it how the universe aligns things because I have a pic of me captioned "RBF" bec of my face and my future spouse has it too wow plus I got that in different fs PAC's and also other things you mentioned like working out a lot and turning heads when we walk in a room. This is soo cute!

Also, thank you so much for your sweet words. Indeed, my self-esteem is not high (I tend to hide my selfies behind other posts), but your words really cheered me up 🥺

Now the songs omg!!! I listened to all of the them and each one resonated even if I already knew some of these, so it was a further confirmation of my fs, I'm a big fan of Lana Del Rey and The Weeknd so the fact you channeled those songs I love it! 😍

Finally, I love every single words from my reading and every single photo from my moodboard. If you wanted me to feel all the passion, the intensity and the love coming from both, you succeeded. I think you're incredibly gifted and an amazing reader! 💯 👏

Thank you so much and great job!! ♥️♥️

Nichols Chavez is actually an Aries rising Virgo Leo moon Sun( no disrespect to his girlfriend but u could even marry this man lmao, or marry someone the resemblance hims. Anddd ofc I know why ur attached to him because of that Aries,Virgo, and Leo energy lol.) so that’s why I was picking up Nicholas and Vinnie Hacker. ANYWAYS I READ THE WHOLE THING AND I COULDN’T HELP BUT SMILE IN HAPPINESS AND GRATITUDE. This is my first ever gameeeee!! And last week I’ve started the blog 🤍 I am a quick learner, and really caught onto astrology very fast. AND YOUR VERY WELCOME! This made me so happy you don’t understand ! And thank you for sharing your time to listen to the songs I’ve listed. And to be honest I was also quite scared that it didn’t resonate with you because I didn’t receive feedback yet SO THANK U (I am literally still a baby, but I’m wise beyond my years. And I appreciate the praise that I have been receiving from others ❤️)

[absenthiium]

Re the ask game...1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 (take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand, which I will never not adore), 12, 13, 14 (for your war is the context (god is a boy) stories that I also adore), 16 (for εἴδωλον), 17, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26 (for παλλακή), 27, 28, 29, 33, 35, 36, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42 (for take the noose off, wrap it tight around my hand and i’ll lay on the floor, touch me ‘till i vomit, again my beloveds), 44, 45, 46 (i’ll lay on the floor, touch me ‘till i vomit, I only feel more insane about that one after starting my Ethel Cain phrase), 47 (for "suffering is nigh, drawing to me" or any Ptolemaea lyric because I feel that is such a Leo song), 48, 49.

(I am so sorry if this feels like too much, please don't feel pressured to answer any of these, but you said you like asks and I love your writing so much, so)

twelve. my very first one was a terrible merge between pandora hearts and dante's inferno, if i remember correctly.

4. definitely angst (and i love post-apocalyptic stories, but i'm yet to include the genre in a fanfiction, i've mostly done so in my original work).

5. i don’t have many, so i’m not sure. but she will talk like a friend (she will kiss like a man) has a special place in my heart (and i really need to continue it!).

6. for those i’ve posted on ao3, maybe my first one? it’s a good omens fic i translated (badly) from italian, it’s very trope-y and not really my thing anymore. 

7. i write whenever the need to strikes, so i’m almost constantly scribbling. but when it comes to writing from start to end, it’s mostly at night (might be ‘cause it’s the time of day i have less to do).

8. a lot of things! most of it comes from music, some from my own state of being or random things i've experienced. plus, books or poetry. sometimes, as i write, i keep a few books close for inspiration (these days, it’s mostly T.S. Eliot's the wasteland, Richard Siken's crush, Beppe Fenoglio's a private affair; plus, and I'm mentioning it mostly since it directly impacted take the noose of, wrap it tight, 4.48 psychosis by Sarah Kane).

9. part xii, the one about medications, was done through a lot of research on topics i’m wholly unfamiliar with, so it was interesting, and quite fun (plus, reading Sarah Kane at night while listening to Ethel Cain which was. something). plus, the last part! i think it’s really representative of the style i’m going for.

12. I go through phases of concentrating on a single character, and at the moment it's Leonardo from TMNT (who would've thought). other characters have been Izzy Hands from our flag means death, Jesse from breaking bad, and Spadino from that shitshow (affectionate) that was Suburra. 

13. i tend to avoid the issue by. not writing them, i guess. but at the moment, maybe Donatello from TMNT. i like him a lot, but i still haven’t figured out how to write him.

14. all the titles come from Norma Jeane baker of Troy by Anne Carson! i really like that book, and it has some chapters focused on explaining a few ancient greek words, while still tying the explanation to the myth of Helen of Troy.

16. it’s actually very much inspired by a concept i’m exploring in an original novel of mine, which follows, among other things, the relationship between the protagonist and his aging father, gone mad after experiencing the death of three of his kids in a war. the novel itself is inspired by the last ronin so i guess the cycle is complete.

17. “the last thing Leo remembers was taking the shovel from Raph’s unsteady hands and digging a grave deep enough to bury a secret - their arms brushed, in passing, and it stung.”

(the WIP in question is, by the way, inspired by your incredible i see things that nobody else sees, that i just adore  too much for my own good).

20. not really, but there are a few things i would've changed in execution.

21. i’m pretty much in awe at a lot of people whose works i’ve read on ao3 (or other places), there’s just so much creativity and sheer talent. oh, and there’s this writer i really admire that writes an incredible range of styles and characters, consistently creating amazing stories, and whose writing has impacted me and my own work a lot. plus, she’s very kind and sends nice asks and, oh, look! it’s you!

23. i listen to music, generally the same song, on repeat, for hours.

24. not my favorite thing. i’m alright with making them not very explicit, otherwise i kind of cringe. not sure why.

25. i don’t think so, but i might if i keep up with the angst (i will).

26. the whole concept was very hard to tackle, because i wanted it to be very raw but not misrepresent the issue. other than that, maybe the final line. it’s just a handful of words, but i rewrote it many times before i got it right.

27. a go with the flow guy! i start with a concept, with a very minimal outline, and than just go until it feels done.

28. i wish i’d been capable of not attaching my stories’ worth to how many hits or kudos they get from the start. obviously i’m glad whenever a story of mine gets attention, but i want to learn to write for myself, mostly, not only to feel rewarded. but i’m getting better at this.

29. not sure, maybe παλλακή? but i do understand it’s based on a concept not many are comfortable reading about. plus, maybe my Suburra fics, but i probably can’t expect much since they are from an almost dead fandom and in italian (and quite untranslatable, since the dialogues are in Rome’s dialect).

33. first things that comes to my mind are some comments i’ve gotten on got a good look and measured my answer. many people told me it made them feel seen at a very visceral level, and, i don’t know, it moved me a lot. 

35. i don’t really talk about my story ideas to people. my cats know all about them, though.

36. i have a few, but for now it’s mostly ideas -but i really wanna try writing something about across the spiderverse.

37. there’s a few fics i’ve improvised (both by writing and recording) with a friend of mine -they were a messy mix of disney characters and tropes. one of those predicted the Queen’s death. funny times.

38. never thought of it, so i don’t have a specific person in mind, but i’d be very interested in trying! i’ve done a collab only once with an irl friend, and i’m definitely open to do one again.

40. a couple of my irl friends do, but they haven’t read anything.

41. i have this pre-canon fic about Eddie Munson (from stranger things) that i’ve been meaning to complete for a while, and i love working on it. very coming-of-age, smalltown queer boy-ish. i hope i’ll finally get around to finish it.

42. a whole ass fixation on Ethel Cain’s music, particularly Family Tree and Inbred. i listen to those two a lot while writing, in general.

44. not from a fic but: “this room’s a narrow place. everyone is talking.”

45. i have many words to say, and i love saying them. not much more, i think.

46. the sequels are, in fact, in the making! (i hope). no spoilers, but it’s a few missing moments from the first two stories and a bit of development on Leo’s state (from very bad to normal bad, i guess).

47. so, so Leo! you’re, as usual, very correct. plus, by mentioning Ptolemea, you’ve kickstarted a whole inspiration process in my brain, and i’m definitely writing something about it. not sure about the specifics, but i’m thinking: some feral behavior; Leo being his usual mother/widow self; someone’s getting eaten alive.

48. is angst a trope? if so, angst. 

49. a mildly explicit Inuyasha fic that involved stalking and divinity. read it on my mom’s phone at a family dinner at about eleven.

(thank you for the questions!)

[self-critical-automaton]

Tagged by @translesbiantheo (thanks for thinking of me! Hope you enjoy my far too wordy answers!) Questions are: Last Song, Last Show, Currently Watching, Currently Reading, and Current Obsession. I’ve put it all under a readmore cut because I tend to wax lyrical and I don’t want to gum up peoples dashes, but if you see this please do click through and have a look.

Last Song: People are answering this as meaning ‘To what song did you most recently listen?’, to which the answer is probably: one of the unreleased songs from the Protomen’s as-yet-unreleased third album, ‘Act III’. Most likely ‘NO WAY BACK’, a major fave, but I’ve been listening them a bunch while working and it might be ‘The Fight’, which has been released as a single.

They’re kind of  hard band to describe, because all elevator-pitches make them sound like a joke: In short, they’re a band who wrote a rock opera (very) loosely based on the videogame series ‘Megaman’, and have spent about twenty years touring to perform assorted bits of it along with covers of iconic heavy metal / prog rock songs. I have little respect for other members of the surprisingly popular ‘videogame themed novelty band’ genre, but the thing is that... they’re really fucking good? Like, very actually good. They’re about the music, rather than the game, or the novelty, to the point where the fact it’s themed after fucking Megaman is almost an albatross around their necks. I tend to gush about the performances (and amazing range- one is a classically trained opera singer, the other sings both sides of a duet) of their two lead vocalists, but their guitarists are the secret MVPs, melting face with heavy metal melodies. And their lyrics and storytelling-via-lyrics, and aestheic... Well, I guess I like all of it. They care deeply about their project and have a deep knowledge of and love for both their music and the music that inspires them.

I’m very fond of that heavy metal/ prog rock era and tbh they’re not so much nailing a pastiche as they are genuinely keeping something beautiful alive. They have fun, but there is no sense of irony whatsoever to their work or their performances, no feeling that they have to ‘wink at it or we’ll be cringe’; their original songs are heartfelt and their lead singers belt them out like their hearts are breaking right there on stage. No one else does it like them.

Plus, they have an amazing stage presence which blows their (now decades old) studio albums out of the water. I saw them live in london and it was the best night of my life, and pretty much the only reason I haven't yet died of postcovid syndrome is my will to see them live again. Sadly, there are very few decent recordings of their live shows. Last Show: Oh, right, there was more than one question. I recently watched Revolutionary Girl Utena, and had strong feelings about it, but I’m now a little too distant form it to unpack them here. I also started watching Serial Experiments Lain and Haibane Renmei, both of which I drifted away from mid-season. This says more about my postcovid brain damage than it does about the quality of the shows, to be clear: I can see why wey are both beloved. I intend to go finish them and then move on to more cornerstones of my fave era of anime. Currently Watching: I feel like I should talk about YouTube or something here, but mostly I’ve been watching tv. I decided to give the Wire ago, as my watch-through of the Sopranos with my flatmate stalled out. We really need to pick that back up... Season one of the wire I felt had something special. It had real willingness to draw parallels between urban gangs and the police, to showcase the brutality, hypocracy, and deceptiveness of police forces right alongside the lives of those forced into crime, and most importantly it had a rare empathy for it’s criminal characters. The direction and writing were also great, and I can see why it’s one of the great touchstones of prestige tv. Also, there was a groundedness to the characters and their personal problems (and a refusal to sermonize or get moralistic about those problems) that I found delightful. Season two abandoned much of that, feeling more like an ordinary copaganda-filled police procedural, and also suffered a general loss of quality in filmmaking terms. Anyway, I’m midway into season three now, and it’s been much closer in tone to the original. It’s not as good, and I think this is yet another example of ‘a tight, focused work turned out profitable, spin up the infinite money-engines to make more of it forever’, but unlike S2 it is at least a worthy tonal and structural sequel. Currently Reading: I have straight answer to this one lmao: Ringworld, by Larry Niven. I have a deep and lasting interest (of what you might call the ‘autistic amateur historian’ variety) in 'nerd subcutlures and community history’, in especially that of sci-fi and the Fantasy one into which it split. As a part of that, and also because it’s my own literary interest, I used to read a lot of modern and classic fantasy and sci fi. Post-covid, however, I’m not able to read much, so much like with anime I’ve been trying to get myself to catch up on missed touchstones. Hence, Ringworld. It’s proving an interesting read, partly because of how hard the science  was (for the standards of seventies sci-fi), but also because of how different the general style was back then. I’m mostly enjoying it a lot, but it does occasionally blindside me with something astonishingly of-its-era like a casual rape joke from the protagonist to an ally. Next I’d like to get into rereading my collected volumes of Clairmont’s run as writer on the x-men comics, after having read John Allison’s recent fan-comic throwback to the era. I mention this (in addition to it being yet another special interest of mine) because of an odd tangential relation: In the 70s Clairmont introduced Kitty Pride as a new viewpoint character for teens reading the comics, so he wrote her as a nerd, and so she mentions a lot of nerdy cultural touchstones of the era. Her best friend, Ilyana Rasputin, develops the mutant power to teleport via circles of light, which Kitty names ‘stepping discs’ after the teleportation technology in Niven’s Ringworld, of which she was a fan. Current Obsession: Continuing the theme of ‘the history of nerd culture and it’s branching subculture communities’, I’ve been thinking a lot about OSR tabletop RPGs. These are ‘Old School Renaissance’, or ‘Old School Revival’, games, pert of a movement to recapture the ‘mom’s basement’ days of roleplaying games. Lighter systems than some, a focus on action, puzzles, and dungeoneering. Some are new systems designed to fulfill those design goals, but others are heavily based on actual roleplay systems from the 70s themselves. I’ve been reading system rulebooks and adventure modules for fun for a couple weeks now, haha. I used to love GMing tabletop RPGs, and I have wanted for ages to run a series of experimental mini-campaigns, trying out many systems with a rotation of players. I’m pleased to say I’ve actually put this into practice now, and I’m two weeks into a campaign using Black Hack rules. Others I want to try are: Torchbearer (which has a focus on hardcore survival), MÖRK BORG (Which is very rules light and focused on brutal dark-fantasy a la BERSERK or Dark Souls), Old School Essentials (Which is basically a more organised remake of the AD&D your dad might have played in the 80s), Dungeon World (which uses the very modern story-game style Powered by the Apocalypse system), and several more. Once I’ve tried a bunch out, I’m probably going to run a hexcrawl or maybe a west-marches type game, and if the mini-cmapigns thing worked for me I’ll branch out into non-OSR systems that I feel like trying. I have a huge folder of RPGs I always wanted to run but could never get around to. If you want into the player pool for these mini-campaigns, send me a message and let me know. It can be a reward for having read this far ;) Passing it on to: @girl-like-substance @expertpedestrian @tinytachyon @lancelought @acrylicpainting

[dojae-huh]

Hello Huh-nim!!!

Well, well, well it has been a long time lol

It seems you’re in a better place. I hope that you are at least.

I swear I don’t know how everyone here has time to check out everything that goes on the fandom and the other members I applaud you all!!!

Anyway, I am sad that we got a DJJ unit because I would have love Tende more. It’s just for my selfish reasons as those three are top 3 bias in NCT. Plus, I am a sucker for a good ballad. I am glad though on what we got. As for DJJ I was kind of bummed with the concept they went with. I really thought they were going to stick with NCT sound in some way or fashion. Also, Perfume and Kiss reminds a lot of EXO. Maybe because EXO does suave concepts (this what I call it) a lot. There other songs are pretty much GP safe too. I would agree that this debut single is safer than anything, and possibly to get a different audience from the usual NCT listener as well.

I just wanted to share my two cents about Jungwoo. I think Jungwoo is a much better person to go with than Taeil for this type of concept. Not saying Taeil is not attractive in anyway, but he’s a person that rather focus on singing than dancing. I also believe Taeil will go solo when he comes back from his military service. Possibly Taeil didn’t want to be stuck with the resident couple anymore too lol. Back to jungwoo. I just feel Jungwoo needs to improve and grow more. Find his niche. In the songs I felt like he was forgotten. I mean you have vocal king Do and all-rounder Jae, so I can see how he can be lost in a song/performance. I need to listen the songs a few more times, but Jungwoo parts of the songs were forgettable for me. I will say I hope he becomes more confident in this smaller unit. Plus we know DoJae are good at taking care of others.

Also, just wanted to point out the whole washing the feet and We Got Married stunt. I mean why would Do remember that from such an old season and why does he have to mention when washing his partners feet. Plus, Jae playing with Do’s feet during the massage. I suspect these two watches this type of sappy romance stuff all the time together. Also, DoJae are foot fetish type of dudes (anyone can fight me on this, but I am sticking with my guns). They are so shameless! It makes me sick, but very entertained at the same time lol

Till next time!

Hi-hi, welcome back.

I often hear Taeil is potentially a better dancer than Doyoung. If he had interest to put in additional effort he could have been a part of a Tende - dancing unit. It's not what he wants though. We can only hope for some Tende after the military.

To be honest with you, I do suspect there is a lack of interest in Tende from Taeil. There were many opportunities to have a Tende song for a U or SMtown album in recent years. And yet Taeil was always paired with other vocals (Xiaojun, Kun or non-NCT).

The recording quality in the leaked videos wasn't good, so I'm waiting for the album to form my final opinion on the way Woo was balanced with JaeDo. He did his parts visually well, if not vocally, though. He will never really blend in with JaeDo, his image and voice is just too sweet for that, of different vibe. However, it is possible to play on this juxtaposition.

The foot fetish, Jaehyun won't get rid of the accusations anymore. However, since when Doyoung has been a suspect as well?

[not-me-atlas]

Please, sincerely, fuck off

*sigh*

'Please, sincerely, fuck off.'

'That’s a very rude thing to say, you know.'

'Sure, but is it tho ? I mean it sounds a bit offensive, yeah believe me I know, but it comes straight from the very bottom of my dead rotten miserable heart. Just like the sad lyrics of songs, written by those heartbroken teen artists, you listen to 24/7 on repeat due to ending up single, again, cause your ex found out how much of a decent human being you are, again.'

'And what’s that like supposed to mean?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean ?!'

*nervous desperate laughter*

'Oh no, nothing. Just that you for no apparent reason, somehow-some way, managed to knowingly, without my consent, cross the obvious boundaries I have. Then got mad about me confronting you afterwards without being harsh and then you even demanded an apology from me. Do you hear how ridiculous it sounds ? No ? Well, there’s always more ! Then you proceed to tell me how I am the one at fault, cause, How could you know I have boundaries and I am serious about them ? How can I be that selfish about literally everything ? How dare I let you know that you overstepped them ?! Huh ? Don’t I know how much is on your plate right now ? Don’t i see all your issues ? Not everything is about me, if I didn’t know.'

*silence*

'Do you hear how ridiculous it sounds, now ? Right. I wasn’t planning to have a whole blown monologue about it. But you are unbelievably talented at pissing me off sometimes and most of the time I tend to shut up about it but do u see where it got me ? Nowhere, if you didn’t pick it up. And yes, not everything is about me but something is. And yes, you don’t have it easiest, but neither do I. If you haven’t noticed yet my body is literally trying to kill it self by shutting off…so yes I was literal when I said ‘dead rotten miserable heart’, but that’s like besides the point, plus, my social battery and energy for today were already drained by you and other people…'

*more of silence*

'So therefore, please, sincerely fuck off.'

[chryzure-archive]

if you had an alternate profession for chrysi/jacks/azure/gil what would it be? what is everyones fave music genre…and some stuff for any ship: one thing both physical and non-physical they love abt their partner? what was the moment either one of them knew that they were really in love?

alt profession

chrysi: ohhh hmmmm…………………….. she’s the hardest to answer for, i feel, since so much of who she is boils down to “paranormal investigator of various flavors”………. she’d go too stir-crazy if she was an artist or an illustrator in any professional regard, and she deliberately didn’t pursue any type of concert pianist position since the competition would’ve driven her batty (triggered her bipolar disorder too badly)… srry to be stereotypical, but i think she would be a detective of sorts. :((. i cannot think of anything else besides mortician, but even that’s not exciting enough for chrysi unless there’s a constant string of demonic possessions <///3 sighs.

jacks: this man doesn’t know how to work. i want to put him in a minimum wage job as a barista and watch him shatter under the pressure. or perhaps he’d make an excellent secretary 🖤 jokes aside, i see him being, like, inherited position high up in an insurance company or something (maybe that’s the black ocn au kicking down my door rn,,:.,, he uses chrysi’s “psychic abilities” to make sure they don’t have to pay a ton of money back to ppl that bought their insurance a while back…. rlly chrysi can jst see when ppl are about to die 💀). jacks doesn’t seem the type that likes to work too hard, but he’s rlly good at being a socialite 🥰

azure: PHOTOJOURNALIST PHOTOJOURNALIST PHOTOJOURNALIST. first one i thought of!!!! or jst a journalist in general!!!! he meets chrysi because she’s a detective on a story he’s writing abt and they fall in love 🖤 or he could be a forensics photographer or w/e they’re called,,,, jst something to do w photography because he’s sooooo passionate abt it!!! literally house of leaves navidson but, like, his wife is equally insane abt the house doing fucked up spatial reconfigurations so it’s a happy ending this time 🥰

gil: literally. like. not to be lame, but probably as a detective or something… a private detective perhaps… it’s basic, i know. i would say he could be a bodyguard maybe, but it doesn’t fit his VIBE. he smokes so much because he’s a detective on a difficult case okay!!!! no, chrysi doesn’t have this problem but that’s because she didn’t think oscar vessalius looked cool as hell when she was growing up!!!….. truthfully, i think gil doesn’t know where to go with his profession, so he jst chose the one that he felt would make him be most needed. ((in reality, he should’ve jst become a housewife 🙄 he’s already an excellent role model for every single woman in the neighborhood!!! HOUSEWIFE GIL, HOUSEWIFE GIL!!!!!))

fav music genre

chrysi: difficult to say because of her various songs, but she defs falls into alternative rock / indie rock the most.. plus she loves any type of piano music since she’s a pianist 🥰

jacks: he’s into pop. i mean… like. yeah. and then a liiiiitle bit of electroswing, but he doesn’t tell anybody about that, now does he.

azure: generally he’s also an alternative music type of person, but he tends to err more towards melancholy music. also, he likes french pop. who knew?

gil: i think primarily pop punk. idk, whatever genre fall out boy is. he jst seems the type to have an intense fall out boy phase <///3 (because i was having a fall out boy phase when i first read the manga 💀 i can admit my wrongs). also, i think he’d listen to classical music, but he’s picky abt it and he tries not to let ppl know he’s picky abt it because he doesn’t want ppl to judge him :((

what they love: physical

chryzure: chrysi loves azure’s pretty eyes and hair so very much…. she likes running her fingers through his curls and looking him in the eyes :) ALSO she likes his long legs + collarbones because. obvi.

azure likes her neck 😌 it’s a very good place for him to kiss. he also thinks her face is nice to hold in his hands because she’s always batting her eyelashes and smiling up at him. OH WAIT, chrysi also has two little crescent moon marks—one on the edge of her rib cage and the other on the opposite hip, and azure likes those vv much bc. his symbol is a. crescent moon…. he has a crescent moon mark behind his ear……… that’s his wife gf soulmate…….. mark-bonded 🥺 ((this was an accidental move on my part and then i realized they are soulmates and it makes total sense 🖤🖤🖤)

chrysijacks: DIMPLES. she’s never ever going to admit it out loud, but chrysi loves jacks’s dimples + his smile and skcksiviejjceisjvndk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he sucks!!!! they’re dating.

jacks likes chrysi’s lips sm??? esp since she has a little freckle on her lower lip and he’s mesmerized by it. catch him staring openly at her mouth at all times because he is Going To Kiss Her. He’s Going To Kiss Her So Hard.

chrysigil: she thinks his eyes are a vv pretty gold (like… they feel like there’s life to it, versus her own (eventually) pale-gold eyes that r scary) and OBVIOUSLY SHES NOT GOING TO IGNORE HIS LITTLE THIGH HOLSTER FOR HIS PISTOL!!!!!!!!!! she is looking respectfully.

gil…. he likes how small chrysi is??? jst because he likes protecting ppl & when he holds her, she is so small and he likes the feeling of protecting her from the world……….. :)

what they love: non-physical

chryzure: chrysi loves azure’s practical nature (and how he leans into that to make countless deadpan jokes….. she thinks his sense of humor is top-notch) because it helps keep her grounded. azure, on the other hand, likes the way that chrysi’s so bright and outgoing and ruthless and that she experiences every single strong emotion, because it helps him feel less like a one-note person.,,,, they break up each other’s monotony and keep each other from falling into their various hells….

chrysijacks: chrysi likes how jacks is a schemer, even though she makes fun of him for it 🖤 she thinks it’s cute how he’ll always try something new and he’s vv determined and one-minded about things in a way to add interest to his life. jacks rlly likes how ruthless and cruel chrysi can be at the same time as being kind and good. it should be contradictory, but for chrysi, it makes sense….. her strong moral code fascinates him sm!!!!

chrysigil: chrysi likes how devoted gil is + how caring he is at his core. he loves helping people and it draws her to him (even though she tries to keep herself at a distance because she feels she cannot trust her heart with anyone after losing azure..,,,,,,, ;;;; ). gil likes chrysi’s own brand of caring for others and how everything she does is for the good of others (but it distresses him that it’s always done at her own expense… girl, STOP, you’re making gil want to cry ;; ) PLUS gil thinks chrysi’s curiosity is vv cute 😌

the moment they fell in love

chryzure: truly…. i think it was literally jst them doing something normal.. like when azure knew precisely where chrysi would be in the bookstore because he knew she visits the horror section first, and when he found her there and she looked up, she realized nobody else knew her quite as well as azure….. and when they were walking home, they decided to hold hands instead of keep them to themselves and they were looking up at the stars together and they kissed…… yeah :)

chrysijacks: a little more difficult, BUT i think right after jacks nearly drowned for chrysi, when chrysi realized he loved her and she realized she loved him back…! that she didn’t want anything bad to happen to jacks (even though he deserves it) and she liked being in his company… and that was when chrysi allowed herself to sink into jacks’s embrace 🥰 that was it. the moment of love. took long enough.

chrysigil: this is a messy one, but honestly, it’s way deeper into their relationship than you might think… like long after they’ve established themselves to be a Thing, where they’re close to each other and chrysi will kiss gil on occasion, but they don’t have a name for it. it’s after chrysi is saved from her own follies (i.e. waltzing off to take care of an investigation on her lonesome, when she was wildly emotional and not in her right mind) when gil is holding her in his hands and urging her to look into his eyes as he’s chastising her for not caring for herself and that everyone cares about her—and, yes, that includes him too!!!!… that’s when chrysi and gil lock eyes and it’s like “oh. oh, i see. we both love each other.” AUGH!!!!!

[sofijaeger]

Felt sad/broke down crying earlier due to having a rough night (plus last few weeks). Can I request an Eren and Reader one-shot or Drabble where Eren sees Reader breaking down crying in bed after he got out of the shower and comforts Reader by wrapping her (Reader sleeps in clothes just an fyi) in his completely bare body she adores/loves, cuddles, whispering kindness to her, and lullabies to make her feel better? Thank you! (I’ll just call myself 🌻 anon if that’s okay with you)

my sunflower anon,

i’m so so sorry you’ve been having a rough past few weeks, and i was seriously debating on replacing eren’s name in this with my own so i could tell you how much you are loved by me. My dms are open for you always if you ever feel comfortable sharing how you feel, but I hope this can bring a bit of happiness to your day!

warning: thoughts about dignity, some nudity

i use the nickname Er (like air) for him, though i know a lot of people use Ren too. If you’d like me to change it to something else i’d be more than happy to!

i didn’t get to proof read, so apologize for any errors. and yes, Rex Orange County helped me write this:)

the feeling was back.

This flow of dejection fueling your entire body like it relied on sorrow as its only source of energy, not needing rest or even a good meal to supply it anymore. You could barely remember the reasons for why you felt like this, succumbing to the typical numbness of being down while giving up was an option you hated but found so simple to obey. And after time and time again you felt more content with keeping it here, inside of you where it wouldn’t bother anyone but yourself.

Not even a gleam of joy shone through your eyes as he pulled out of your driveway, one hand rotating the wheel, the other immediately searching for your clammy palm. Not from sweat or nerves, but from the tears you had forgotten to dry off before he arrived. Eren was well aware though. He always seemed to know, to understand.

You were utterly grateful, how could you not be when your escape from reality was right beside you, rescuing you to your safe haven. A place he was quite familiar to all his life, hoping someday you wouldn’t have to be a drive away but could tend to his own heartache for you in the comfort of a home you’d share. But at the moment, your mental state wasn’t the best at supporting your emotions as it usually was, and that was his priority. Apathetically leaning your forehead against the rainy glass window, you just relaxed to his hums of Rex Orange County.

It was funny, really. He chose this song on purpose for you. One that even if you weren’t familiar with it conveyed his feelings in less than five minutes, almost perfect timing to his home.

I don’t wanna see you cry,

you don’t have to feel this emptiness.

And he hummed along, reminding you of how comforting he wanted his presence to be, and how happy it made your heart in return.

“I’m gonna hop in the shower okay babe? I had an extra-long practice today.” Eren huffed with a soft smile, testing if positivity could lighten your mood. He was always so diligent, and you thought of it just about every day. How was it possible to keep a facade so inspiring anyone could feel a surge of power emit from themselves. A morality that made you question what interest he found in someone like yourself who tried to be there for others, but felt helpless, selfish in the end to her own needs.

Even after you could barely respond to his simple conversations he was still trying to make you feel better, and you were too dazed in your own world to comply. “Are you sure you don’t wanna come in with me?” He raised and dropped his eyebrows in that ‘typical flirty’ manner. One you normally agree to with a laugh if you hadn’t bathed in your own tears before he picked you up. So you answer with a light smile, one too fragile he easily sensed a cycle of your tears would be making another round. He hummed, giving your forehead a light kiss before jogging into the bathroom.

A gentle bass of the television played alongside endless questions piercing through your mind. But you didn’t know who to blame, you couldn’t blame anyone. No one but yourself bringing the people down around you when you didn’t even have enough energy to find a solution. Was it finally starting to show? Would you bring everyone into this pain with you? You couldn’t do that, not to Eren.

The water echoing into his bedroom felt like the only alternative to drowning out the second wave of cries you began pouring out that night, praying your boyfriend wouldn’t hear you. How could you concern him when all he ever did was bring you happiness. It wasn’t fair to him.

“Stop, just stop.” you cry out, pressing both your hands down your face as if distorting it for a few seconds could make you toughen up. But attempting to silence yourself was no easy task, between the dialogue of the TV cartoons and the fog seeping into his bedroom you sat in. It was all too much.

This feeling, you wanted it gone, or at least to know it wouldn’t come back, but it was strangling you.

Fortunately, this noose of anxiousness began to loosen, with the creak of the bathroom door and toned, bare arms gripping you in whole. Eren overheard you, he’d never close the door to leave you in your own shell. It practically brought tears to his own eyes listening to you suffer while he bathed, alone.

One-minute baby, give me one more minute. he repeated, sloshing the conditioner out of his hair before patting himself dry, then wrapping a towel around his waist and hurrying towards you.

Eren engulfed you from behind, situating your fragile state into his lap. The little jolts of your chest quickened, so he rested your head against his collarbone with one hand, finding your waist with the other, allowing yourself to breath the fresh steamy air of the shower.

This was easily the highlight of your day. Him, making what had happened before completely unimportant. What mattered now was the thin towel tied around his waist and your sweats being the only separation from a full blend of your bodies. His damp chest would do though, releasing that familiar musky scent you had already begun hypnotizing yourself into.

Eren didn’t say a single word at first, letting your own thoughts to come to terms with your body. By the steadiness of your pulse he placed his fingers upon would he then serenade you with his honest tenderness.

“Baby...” he elongated, beginning to stray pieces of your hair from your sticky skin. He wasn’t even sure what to begin with himself. Between trying to find just one quality of yours he admired so much and the nurture you provided him, even at times like these made him feel in debt. You were his family despite being his love, and the comfort you found in him, the trust you willingly let yourself fall into his arms with, cries you couldn’t bear to keep away made his heart so full.

Eren would always be indebted to your love.

He guided you down onto the bed, slowly flipping your positions in the process. His hair displayed tiny droplets onto your collarbone while his nose found your neck, nuzzling just a little closer to your ear with every rub.

“I can’t Er I-” you made out of your shaky breathes, sniffing in future sobs. But Eren wouldn’t let you hold it in, not for him at the very least. He shifted up your neck and pressed his body right on top of yours. “Let it out for me, please,” he whispered, begging that his weight could squeeze out any last ties holding you together. And they did untie, for your throat broke down, emerging into weeks of tension and built up hopelessness.

“It’s all too much Eren, I can’t do this anymore!” You wept, pulling him closer to you with every inhale. You didn’t want to let him go, let this moment slip away. And he would listen, not beginning to interfere until you were exhausted of your own thoughts, leaving your mind empty for his to infiltrate wholeheartedly.

He pressed further into you, squeezing all your thoughts out like an aura. His calloused hands found their way to your head, caressing it tenderly, and he kept his head by your lips, drowning himself deep into the voice of what possibly the most perfect girl in his life had to say for herself.

And while you tired yourself in your tears, he raised his head, kissing each one that spilled away, listening to every word wailed from your heart. He couldn’t be the one to change how you felt, for that solely relied on you, but he would guide you in every direction until you’d be able to smile on your own again.

Your half-lidded eyes following a slightly open jaw signified no more words could come out, and no tears were left to cry. It was his turn now, to make you feel loved, just like the one and only you are in his life, who he strives to become better for every day.

“Is there anything else you need to let out?” He cooed, brushing his knuckles up against your cheek. You melted into his touch, silencing yourself from the way he looked at you. The way his eyes exploded in a mesmerizing turquoise, full of admiration for you below him. He calmly smiled, examining each of your adorable features. Your heated complexion, disheveled hair, and shallow exhales made him bashful in your presence. He adored you.

“I wish you didn’t have to feel like this, you don’t deserve this pain.” He begun, ignoring your head shakes of disagreement. He felt awful, watching you side with your dark thoughts. It made him furious seeing them hold that light inside of you hostage.

“I love you. I love you for everything you are, and you better know my love for you will never weaken. You have my whole heart.” he took your palm, pushing it up against his warm, bare chest. That special heartbeat echoed through you like it was your own. “You feel that? It’s beating for you, and it will continue to.” He smiled down at you, radiating warmth you never wanted to let go of ever again.

“You’re my necessity, love. That will never change.”

If your tears could fall again they would, your mouth opening to say something, anything to share the love you felt for him. But Eren silenced you, emptying your mind again with a sweet kiss to your lips. Your eyes widened before relaxing into him, him wrapping a strong arm to your hips, caressing the soft skin with his thumb as the other guided your head closer to his. You pursed your lips loosely, for the feeling of his hand grazing your jaw made your nerves explode into a frenzy, his tongue peeked in every now and then to suck on your own before retracting back, extracting a few pleasureful whimpers and making you needier for him by the minute. He pulled back slowly, of course, letting the tease of himself end your kiss as he watched your eyes twitch in confusion from the loss of contact, before opening them with a pleading look to continue.

He just chuckled, meeting your nose with his in an Eskimo-like gesture.

“Eren I-“

“Shhh, let me take care of you,” he murmured, assisting you in removing your shirt to place you in his own. He was captivated by you, the little jolt your breasts made from the subtle movement, the effortless way your hair fell after being pulled up by the fabric. He watched you in awe. Though it wasn’t the time to fawn over your appeal, he couldn’t help it.

“Beautiful-“ he breathed, practically drooling in your existence as he crouched to meet the top of your chest, letting a few open mouth kisses slip out and down your figure as he reached your navel. He appreciated every little hitch in your breath, trying its hardest to become that little giggle he knew wonderfully. Making each other feel treasured was no difficult task when both of you could be valued as one another’s.

Before laying you down once more, he gave your lips a final peck, holding you beside his still bare skin. You didn’t mind the proximity and neither did he. You shifted to your side resting your head in the crease of his neck, smelling a woodsy mint release from his moist locks and look up, meeting his jawline to place a silent peck of thanks, for the affirmations now sunken deep into your heart, for entrancing you with his stunning physique and for being your other half to which no one else could complete.

“You’re mean everything to me_______, I mean that with nothing but the truth,” he responded, tickling his hand down your side, his lips meeting at your temple. He felt so homely, the coziness in his words, his touch. It was all so pure of him. Sure his feverish temper made you fall for him, but his mellowness kept your love unbroken.

A few gentle hums enhanced your sleepiness, slowly lagging behind his own as your eyes lidded shut. He was singing Sunflower again, you figured. The song could describe your relationship in a matter of minutes, the bond you two had shared for years transitioning from best friends to lovers. It was truly beautiful to think about, Eren was beautiful to think about.

And so he continued to hum until your soft, sleeping figure was well in its rest, a tiny raise in your frown guaranteeing he achieved what he wanted most, to make you smile.

“You know you need to get yourself to sleep and dream a dream of you and I. There’s no need to keep an open eye, I promise I’m the one for you just let me hold you in these arms tonight.”

Eren was beyond lucky to be himself, you could see it in his face. And after all the problems that had dragged you down, he was your boy, your reason to forget it all.

You honestly didn’t remember why, you let yourself get down in the first place.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 18, second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Hey OP where’s the funny header gif for this post? Sorry, it was murdered by an angst demon and the framing of these shots.

My Found Family Came to Find Me

Continuing our flashback from last time, we see Baby Wei Ying up a tree, refusing to come down because he's afraid there are dogs. Eventually he falls out of the tree, like a dumbass a child, and Yanli tries but fails to catch him. 

Unlike his grownup counterpart, Baby Wei Ying doesn't pretend he's unhurt when he is hurt. I'd like to put the change at Yu Ziyuan's door, but actually he admits to being hurt during his Gusu summer - he mimics Lan Zhan's stoicism when they're getting beaten, but it doesn't come naturally to him, and he whines a lot afterwards. 

By the time of the Animatronic Dog incident, however, he's laughing off obvious injuries that have secret trauma behind them. By the time he comes back, coreless, from the burial mounds, he won't confide in anyone about his hurts any more, except possibly Wen Qing.

Yanli carries Wei Ying, in a sequence that will be echoed much later in his life when Lan Zhan carries him (gifset here). While they head back, she tells him that Jiang Cheng has a bad temper and to ignore whatever mean things he says. This will also be echoed in the future, when Wei Wuxian says it to Lan Zhan after their argument with Jiang Cheng in the shrine.

Yanli also explains that Jiang Cheng loved his dogs and that he's been very sad since Jiang Fengmian sent them away, demonstrating once again that Jiang Fengmian is a terrible father. Yanli says that Jiang Cheng will be happy to have a friend with him, though. This kind of makes Wei Wuxian's role in Jiang Cheng's life "replacement dog."

Jiang Cheng, after getting over this particular snit, got worried about Wei Wuxian and woke up Yanli to find him, and then went wandering around in the dark like a dumbass a child, and is banged up and crying when the other two find him. Yanli encourages him to apologize to Wei Wuxian and he does, which will not happen again until the very end of the show.  

They all smile and laugh together, as Wei Ying looks to Yanli to guide him through the insanity that his life has suddenly become. 

(more behind the cut!)

They head back to Lotus Pier in a sweet montage of walking and smiling together, with Jiang Cheng carrying the world's most beautiful candle holder with the world's most wind-resistant candle in it, to light their way back. Back in the present day for a brief moment, Jiang Cheng pretends to sleep and listens to his sister insisting that the three of them should always stay together, while a single tear rolls down the side of his face.

Soup is Love, Chapter 1 of 1000

Then we head to the past again. In Jiang Cheng & Wei Ying's now-shared room, Wei Ying sits on the bed trying to figure out how to deal with his grumpy new roommate.

Wei Ying is unsure what to do when confronted with pajama game this strong. Tiny Jiang Cheng is already a fashion king. 

Then he tells Jiang Cheng he's not going to narc him out to the clan leader, since it was his own fault that he hurt his leg. This is all Jiang Cheng needs to hear to decide Wei Ying is all right, and he says that he will help Wei Ying chase away dogs in the future.  In fact, Wei Wuxian will protect Jiang Cheng from punishment basically forever, while Jiang Cheng will continue to threaten Wei Wuxian with dogs...forever.

They shake hands on their new understanding and then jump up and down laughing, Wei Ying's leg being all better now, apparently.  When Yanli arrives (carrying a tray of...can you guess? I'll let you guess), they stop jumping. Wei Ying dives in to give Jiang Cheng a little tickle/embrace in an adorable moment that would have me saying "oh, my ovaries!" if I hadn't surgically sent my ovaries to hell a few years ago.

Yanli introduces Wei Ying to the emotional and gustatorial miracle that is her lotus and ribs soup. He hesitates a long time before tucking in because he's so unused to being fed.

Consent? I Don’t Even Know Her

The flashback wraps up with Yanli conked out on the table from the drugs in the incense burner, while Wei Wuxian, who is somehow unaffected despite sitting almost as close to the smoke as she was, checks on her. Jiang Cheng and his Uggs period-appropriate sock thingies get out of bed to come stand with Wei Wuxian, and have feelings about sending Yanli away after she JUST said she doesn't want to be parted from them.

Wei Wuxian: If she didn't want us to do this, she shouldn't have signed that blanket consent-to-medical-treatment form.   Jiang Cheng: Wen Qing made me sign one of those plus a durable power of attorney, is that bad?

This episode is all about people overriding each others' agency and making massively important decisions without the consent of the people who will be affected. But in a feudal context, it's not a violation, no matter how it feels to the person being controlled. In feudal life, your body belongs to your lord -- your sect leader, in the world of CQL. Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng's choices are overridden by their clan leader's final command to Wei Wuxian.  Wei Wuxian's core is arguably Jiang Fengmian's property--Wei Wuxian certainly sees it that way, just as his hand was Yu Ziyuan's to take if she wished.  

The brothers tenderly tuck Yanli into bed in the rolly cart and hand her off to Song Lan. They talk about how important it is to get her to Lanling and that she's probably going to be mad, as they thank Song Lan for helping them. 

Yanli listens while she sleeps and, in what is becoming a trademark Jiang move, lets a single tear roll down the side of her face. Jiang Cheng points out that Yanli never gets mad at Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian is like, true dat.

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

Song Lan is always so emotional about every damn thing, I love him. Here he's like OH GOD NO DON'T FORMALLY THANK ME! STOP!!!

Then he starts to ask Wei Wuxian to pass a message to Song Xingchen for him, but then decides not to say anything, making it super obvious that they fought and aren't together. 

Wei Wuxian reacts to this with confusion and distress, probably because he doesn't want to imagine ever having a breakup with his own soulmate. Which he soon will be having.  But possibly he's just upset that his OTP broke up.

After Song Lan takes off, Jiang Cheng gives Wen Qing a rude & perfunctory thank-you bow, turning away before she can return it. Wei Wuxian tells her not to take it to heart - basically everyone who deals with Jiang Cheng gets a version of the "ignore what he says" speech. She says she understands and that in his place she would have behaved worse, which is so totally not true.  

Then she asks Wei Wuxian if he's sure about the core transfer (not in so many words, because the script is being kind of being vague about it, without actually hiding what's happening). His reply pretty much encapsulates the whole Wei Wuxian experience.

Then he and Jiang Cheng walk off, with Jiang Cheng giving us a rear view that had me googling Wang Zhuocheng's fashion shoots to determine if that wagon he's draggin’ is really as delightful as this belt makes it look. Alas, there is not a wealth of photographic evidence for this research, as compared to, for example, photos of Xiao Zhan's outstanding ass.

Wen Qing and Wen Ning see them off, with Wen Qing wishing they valued their lives more. Although, what she and Wen Ning are doing is massive treason, so their lives will be pretty much forfeit if they're caught, so...

The Sunshot Campaign of Like 60 Dudes

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng walk up the mountain for the whole beginning of the Sunshot campaign, which...okay. Maybe it's like Dunkirk or The Witcher where they intercut stuff that is happening in different timeframes, which is one of my least favorite new film style thingies.

You know, for a guy Wei Wuxian constantly calls "peacock," Jin Ziyuan really doesn't wear a lot of adornment; just some subtle metalwork on his belt with no dangly bits at all, and a single reasonably-sized hair crown. Compared to the extremely fancy Lan Wangji he's almost plain. We already know that Wei Wuxian is a massive hypocrite when it comes to his idea of a perfect boy, however.

So, this is the Lanling Jin army, which consists of literally 60 guys, including the ones on the stairs and Jin Zixuan and Douchebag Dad. How are they going to fight a war with this tiny group? Why do they have such a big plaza? Hasn't anybody on this production learned CGI cloning?

That’s better.

Nie Mingjue and his best bitch Baxia make quick work of the 4 Wen guys who were assigned to hold the Unclean Realm. 

Hello, Daddy Da-Ge!

Squeeee, it's Lan Wangji! He's taking back Cloud Recesses! Ooooohhh we've missed you Lan Wangji.

Look guys he's here! Look how beautiful he is. He's looking at the gate of cloud recesses and thinking thoughts that Lan Xichen or Wei Wuxian could probably see in his bewitching eyes if they were here to see him, which they aren't. But at least he is here!

....and now he's gone again. *cries*

Hares On The Mountains

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian continue roaming prettily around this pretty mountainside. The locations in this show are such eye candy. 

Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains  Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains  If I was a young lass I’d soon go a hunting

Jiang Cheng starts to have doubts about the whole Baoshan Sanren thing. Wei Wuxian's reply pretty much encapsulates the whole Wei Wuxian experience.  

Then we have just the tenderest blindfolding scene, (more gifs here), which is fodder for your ChengXian dreams, if you have those.

Here's a good place for a sidebar about what is and isn't incest. Whee! In the CDrama context, relationships tend to be more clearly defined than in western media. The mechanism of confession & acceptance means that people either are or are not in a romantic relationship, with few grey areas. So a character can literally say "we grew up as brother and sister, but now we are dating" and when someone looks startled they just say "there's no blood relation" and everyone is like "cool cool" and that's the new definition of the relationship.

For a strong example of this, the extremely wonderful Go Ahead is about a contemporary family in which a girl and two boys, who are not blood relatives, are all raised together, and call each other brother and sister. When they become adults, they and everyone around them expect the girl (now a woman) to marry one of the two men who have been her brothers, while whichever one she doesn't choose will carry on as her sibling. It's treated as the most natural, logical thing in the world; the only question is whether she wants to make that transition, and with whom.

Looked at through this lens, Wei Wuxian's relationships with his adoptive siblings have just as much potential to turn into romances as his relationships with his friends do, and there's nothing creepy about it. As such you can expect my meta to always get into ChengXian moments without treating it as a wrong or forbidden love. Hopeless, of course, because Jiang Cheng is such a prick the power of WangXian is stronger, but that's a different matter.

What is wrong is wearing this fantastic hat & veil combination when the most fashionable person on the mountain is blindfolded and can't see it.

In the course of this blindfolded encounter with Wen Qing, Jiang Cheng gets to kneel before a powerful woman, be led along by a length of silk that's placed in his hand, and then knocked the fuck out and operated on. He'll wake up in a hotel room in a tub full of ice with "we took your kidney" written on the mirror in lipstick, and he'll love every minute of it.  

Soundtrack: 1. Still Fighting it, by Ben Folds 2. Hares on the Mountain, by Steeleye Span

Writing Prompt: The NEXT time somebody blindfolds Jiang Cheng

[success-and-corruption]

Macabre Album Review

DEG's second album! Oh yeah!

Track 1: Deity

This first track is definitely very interesting. It starts with a sleigh bell and then quickly turns into ominous chanting of some sort. Very spooky but also very different from their previous work which shows how versatile these five musicians are. The chanting eventually stops and we're met with heavy guitars and bass with Shinya playing a steady beat and Kyo vocalizing with a woman’s voice eerily making sounds. It sounds like he's gasping for breath (see what I did there)? That section ends and a clean guitar is played for a few seconds before the song goes back to the heavy riff after the chanting but this time Kyo sings in Russian to the tune of Johannes Brahms' "Fifth Hungarian Dance." This song definitely feels very religious to me which I suppose fits because the case for Macabre has prayer (?) beads in it.

I think Deity showcases DEG’s experimental side and sets the foundation for the rest of the album and it shows that DEG took a very different turn and became a bit darker.

Track 2: Myaku

Is this track in 3/4? 4/4? 5/4? 6/4?

Yes to all of the above. In the booklet it's indicated that this song was written by DIR EN GREY so no individual member wrote it specifically but the band definitely had some fun with time signatures in this one. Myaku was released as a single which is a bit different from the album version but I'm not reviewing the single. This song definitely departs from their late 90s VK sound which in my opinion is a good thing as it showed that DEG wanted to become more serious musicians. Plus, this track has one of my favorite basslines but I never got around to learning how to play it. Myaku is a chaotic song but it fits very well with Macabre.

Track 3: Wake/Riyuu

My boy Die does it again. This song is one of my favorites on the album and despite it being written by a guitarist, Toshiya’s bass really drives this track but we can’t forget the soaring guitars in the beginning and in the chorus. Kyo’s vocals are also great. Fantastic rhythm, instruments that all work very well together, and Kyo’s clean vocals? What’s not to like? This song really gets me moving for some reason. Not nearly as chaotic as Myaku, but Wake/Riyuu provides a nice structure and a consistent time signature (4/4) which is good contrast in my opinion. 

Track 4: Egnirys Cimredopyh +) An Injection

Everyone probably knows this by now by  Egnirys Cimredopyh = hypodermic syringe backwards. Despite that, this song isn’t about intravenous drug use. Kyo references a “white powder” a lot in this song and in one part of the song he sings “I started to speak to the wall with my lower half” (of course he sings that in Japanese) so I think this song is about abusing a drug called kakuseizai and... ejaculating onto a wall? To my knowledge cocaine isn’t very popular in Japan and kakuseizai (roughly translated to “stimulant” in English) is a type of methamphetamine that is used to improve pleasure during sex. Anyway as the lyrics progress it’s clear that the person in the song is battling between his good and bad side. They’re aware that their drug use is stripping them of their sanity but can’t stop and eventually gives in and “kills” the good side. In regards to the musicality of the song, again I really like the bassline (probably because I play bass) but the solos in the song, both bass and guitar, are seriously lacking in substance for me. However the rest of the song is fun to move around to i.e. it has a nice rhythm. 

Track 5: Hydra

“I wanna be an anarchist”

“Dead born”

“Sid Vicious, suspicious”

What are those lyrics??? This song is another experimental one with electronic sounds throughout. It’s also fast-paced and has another chant near the end of the song that breaks it up nicely. Lyrically there’s not much I have to say but this song is definitely one of DEG’s most interesting sounding. I’m sorry that I don’t have more to say. 

Track 6: Hotarubi

Hotarubi... what a beautiful song. It was very clearly written by Shinya. This track is, in my opinion, one of DEG’s best ballads but I think it goes on for too long but that’s just a very minor complaint. The strings complement the rest of the instruments and the part from 2:40-3:42 is stunning, with a surprising violin solo and a woman breathily vocalizing. Everything in this song works so well together except for the loud buzzing halfway through and Hotarubi never fails to evoke an emotional response within me. If it weren’t too long for my liking I would listen to it on repeat. At a certain point I just get bored. Also I think this song would be better suited towards the end of the album where the songs become more melodic.

Track 7: 【KR】cube

I’m not sure what【KR】cube means but what a fun song. Toshiya starts it out with that funky bass that we all know and love and then it transforms into a fast-paced song with a very nice rhythm on the guitars and Kyo’s clean vocals come in which is always nice to hear. I like the speed and rhythm of this song as it offers a pleasant difference from Hotarubi which is a very slow song. The chorus is very catchy as well 

Kururi, furari, fuwari, kurari

Kururi, furari, fuwari, kurakurari

and so on. The music video is fun for this one. We love Hitman Die. 

Track 8: Berry

This song is easy to figure out from the beginning dialogue of an English girl apologizing but then promising to blow her parents’ head off like raspberry jam (spoiler: she does at the end of the song). This one has more of a punk vibe and it’s kind of a fun song. What I can say is that I’ve never heard a song that features parents yelling at a child as part of a breakdown. It’s a good song but in my opinion it doesn’t really fit with the Macabre sound.

Track 9: Macabre -Sanagi no Yume wa Ageha no Hane-  

WOW what a song this is. I believe that this eleven minute prog rock masterpiece was the first song I learned on the bass (go big or go home). I love Shinya’s drums in the beginning and as soon as the other instruments come in you just know you’re in for a journey. This song has a great composition with all of the instruments and vocal layers but I suppose I should get into the specifics. The beginning (after the drums) starts with guitars that, in my opinion, portray a certain sadness while the bass drives the the song. Kyo’s voice is great in this one and also portrays that same sadness. After the first two verses clean guitars come in which is a nice contrast from the beginning but this song truly comes alive during the instrumental breakdown where there’s a guitar playing a repeating riff while insects buzz and a church organ plays in the background. It then switches to Kaoru and Die playing the same notes but alternating between electric and acoustic guitars. The breakdown ends with a very beautiful solo and Kyo singing in a higher register and making slurping sounds which makes sense if you follow the lyrics. There’s a bass solo which is always nice to hear. 

I think I’ve written too much about this song so I’m going to go on to...

Track 10: Audrey

What exactly were they trying to accomplish here? Country rock? It doesn’t fit with the album and it doesn’t even fit with DEG’s sound in general. I never listen to this song so I don’t have much to say about it. 

Track 11: Rasetsukoku

This song fits much better with Macabre, but only marginally. It’s definitely more speed metal which at this point in DEG’s music career hasn’t really done. It’s fun to listen to but the composition is quite simple and it tends to be sort of repetitive. I do like the bass in the beginning but the guitars in this song are kind of boring to me.  Maybe I should give it more credit. 

Track 12: Zakuro

I have mixed feelings about this song. It’s very emotional but maybe too emotional. It starts out kind of slow but I like Kaoru and Die’s parts in the beginning because they harmonize very well. I think this song has one of the most beautiful guitar solos they’ve ever written and it conveys the sadness that is the central focus of this song. My problem with it (and it’s a minor one) is that it’s definitely better live. 

Track 13: Taiyou no Ao

Another favorite on this album. Once again there’s a great bassline and while the song itself sounds sort of like a pop song the lyrics are rather sad. The prominent bass complements the guitars and if Shinya wanted a workout routine he could play this song a few times and he would get pretty buff. Can you imagine a buff Shinya? Neither can I. It just seems like his drums never stop for almost the entire song. It’s a nice way to close the album because it contrasts with the very dark-sounding Deity and it leaves me feeling good, albeit a bit sad because of the lyrics.

So that’s it. Can you tell I got a bit tired near the end? All in all I give this album 7/10. It’s a great album but there are some real duds in my opinion but it’s not my least favorite by any stretch. I’ll be reviewing all ten albums so you’ll find out which one I like the least...

As always feel free to comment your thoughts! I would like to connect with my followers a bit more.

[joecial-distancing]

Assorted 1k1 albums update

Too many since last time I was writing these to be worth listing every single one, plus I took a short hiatus during Spring, but I’m noticing my retention has been a lot worse since I stopped blurbing.

Broadly, I’m noticing it was very clearly a british person curating this list, the most forgettable entries on here tend to be 80s-era brit/synth pop.

Santana Abraxas (1970): Santana Extremely Good!

Sufjan Stevens Illinois (2005): I think I like the idea of his states project more than I really care for the music itself

Serge Gainsbourg Histoire De Melody Nelson (1971): Miserable headphones listen, his voice is so loud in the mix I can’t enjoy the music. Admittedly I might feel different if I understood French and could tell what he was saying lol

Queens of the Stone Age Queens of the Stone Age (1998): Most dad rock is cute/enjoyable every once in a while, this was boring as hell though

Megadeth Rust in Peace (1990): I have a soft spot for certain types/eras of metal, this is not one of my preferred ones though

Def Leppard Pyromania (1983): Now *this* is perfectly good dad rock!

David Bowie Station To Station (1976): Bowie’s one of the figures I’m most interested in getting my head around through this project. So far, this is my favorite thing from him I’ve heard, the title track is excellent!

REM Automatic for the People (1992): Another thing I’m trying to keep tabs on as I go through this is stringing together influence points toward things I knew before going in. For some reason as I listen to REM, I keep thinking of They Might Be Giants, which is weird because the music isn’t exactly similar. Something in the attitude? I dunno.

The Who Who’s Next (1971): There’s a couple albums like this on here where my brain lights up when it hears the recognizable stuff, and then doesn’t retain the rest of the music. Baba O’Riley is indeed really good, but I’m struggling to take an honest accounting of “ok is it genuinely so much better than the rest of the album or are you just really familiar with this”

like “do you think these songs are good or bad based on radio exposure, or did the ones you liked get radio exposure because they were the good shit?” I don’t trust the second one as an explanation even if it feels true.

Pink Floyd The Dark Side Of The Moon (1973): Really good bathtub listening. Definitely dragged/went slow more than I like. I’ve heard this one describes as like an album constructed for audiophiles/people who care a lot about precise mixing, which feels true.

Kanye West The College Dropout (2004): I liked this a lot! Kanye really has a gravity about him, where I feel like I interpret a lot of the generator’s other rap/hip-hop selections in context of what they mean in context of things before/after KW

Earth Wind & Fire That’s The Way Of The World (1975)

Burning Spear Marcus Garvey (1975): One thing I’m learning through this project is I should probably be putting more reggae into my rotation. It tends to be slower than I usually go for, but otherwise checks a lot of my boxes

2pac Me Against The World (1995): 2pac’s another Huge name who’s a blind spot for me. I really need to revisit this one; I mentioned in the public enemy blurb that I basically can’t retain lyrics unless I’m literally reading them along to the music, and I wasn’t able to do that when I was playing this.

Sonic Youth Dirty (1992)

Notorious BIG Ready To Die (1994): Didn’t like this as much as 2pac & public enemy, in terms of 90s rap

Tori Amos Little Earthquakes (1992): This one really grew on me! Very pleasant first listen, and then I found myself coming back to it a lot afterward.

Alanis Morissette Jagged Little Pill (1995): Haha god damn I like Alanis. So many choices she makes on here that should be obnoxious on paper, but just end up being extremely charming *“HOWWwOWWowwW apprOAHpriaTe”* absolutely delightful

Alice Cooper Billion Dollar Babies (1973): I have some experience with Alice Cooper here & there. This album was fine, but my favorite thing from him was his Muppet Show appearance

The Chemical Brothers Dig Your Own Hole (1997)

Belle & Sebastian If You’re Feeling Sinister (1996) I think people I know like B&S? I don’t think I did.

Randy Newman Good Old Boys (1974): I don’t think he’s country, but he’s something adjacent. I liked this, found it pleasant

The Rolling Stones Let it Bleed (1969): Hell yeah I love The Departed

Fleetwood Mac Rumours (1977): What the fuck every single song on this is super well-known. Major touchpoint filled in that I had no idea I was even missing

Os Mutantes Os Mutantes (1968): Wish I liked this more, the thing they’re up to seems interesting

Deep Purple Deep Purple In Rock (1970): Oh my god I loved this. I knew by reputation that Deep Purple’s one of the bands that built the bridge from hard rock to heavy metal, and something about that boundary creates stuff I like way more than straight metal.

Yes The Yes Album (1971): Yes’s good songs are some of my favorite stuff out there, but the individual albums have a lot of songs that just don’t work for me.

Steely Dan Countdown To Ecstasy (1973): I find Steely Dan to be technically boring, but perfectly serviceable cooking & doing the dishes music

REM Document (1987): Moreso than Automatic For The People, this really cemented for me that I love REM. Lotta earworms

Nirvana Nevermind (1991): The first songs on this are tremendous, some of the strongest things to open an album. Didn’t really retain the rest (see: the who, earlier)

Lana Del Rey Chemtrails Over the Country Club (2021)

Black Sabbath Vol 4 (1971): Similar to Deep Purple, lots of fun! The arrangements are fast, energetic, interesting. Noticing I’m tending to like a lot of 70s metal, then something happens 80s-00s that loses me really hard.

ABBA The Visitors (1981): Influence Alert: Marina and the Diamonds totally bites a whole bunch of influence from ABBA, it’s so obvious after sitting with an ABBA album all the way through (having previously basically only known them from the mama mia soundtrack *killed by brick through the window*). I liked a few songs off this one, looking forward to hearing more from the generator

The Flaming Lips The Soft Bulletin (1999): Lol I had people in the 00s recommend flaming lips to me. This was so boring!

Bob Marley & The Wailers Exodus (1977): See previous re: reggae. often a lot for me when it’s an entire album, but I like it in general!

David Bowie Heroes (1977): With a couple Bowies under my belt by this point, he’s kind of a mixed bag for me; there’s usually a couple songs per album I’ll like a lot, and the rest leaves me really cold. That said, I still haven’t heard anything from ziggy stardust era, so there might be missing context or something still.

Paul Simon Paul Simon (1972): Bleh

Björk Medúlla (2004): Felt really bad that I did not like this. might revisit, could just be it wasn’t good music for taking a bath.

Throbbing Gristle D.O.A. the Third and Final Report of Throbbing Gristle (1978): Same complaint as Björk, this seemed like something I should like a lot, and instead it annoyed me.

Hole Celebrity Skin (1998): Damn I went in kind of expecting not to like it, and it turned out to be really good! *Trampled to death by approx. 1,000,000 foaming Gen X men*

Eminem The Marshall Mathers LP (2000): Way more misses than hits, but still a fun time capsule of what the fuck everyone I knew in middle school was blithering about at the time

David Bowie Blackstar (2016): I feel like I need to read some production history to get the hang of this one

George Michael Faith (1987): haha oh my god he’s so fucking sleazy on this, I love it

Beatles White Album (1968): Overall pretty good! Hard to set aside the charles manson mystique around it

The White Stripes Elephant (2003): Big nostalgia album! Seven Nation Army owns bones, the rest of this is pretty good still

Scott Walker Scott 2 (1968): He has such a good voice! I don’t even like genre he’s doing and I was swept away!

Rush Moving Pictures (1981): I’ve given Rush an honest try before, they just never clicked for me. Decent, but...something’s missing

Steely Dan Aja (1977):

Bob Dylan Blonde On Blonde (1966): Bob Dylan might be another case of I Gotta Sit Down With The Lyrics, bc on first listen I just found him kind of grating.

Duran Duran Rio (1982): Lmao I love this album. Title song’s whatever, but Hungry Like the Wolf makes me smile so fucking much

Fred Neil Fred Neil (1966): Rare example of pure country music I found pretty engaging the whole album

The Killers Hot Fuss (2004): Unlike with The Who and Nirvana, I am very sure the popular songs off this one are the actual good ones lol. Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me are A-OK, the rest may be safely left in the past

Can Tago Mago (1971): One of my all-time favorite albums. Halleluhwah alone could carry it really far

Dead Kennedys Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables (1980): This one really knocked me on my ass, clearly a big influence point for a whole bunch of bands I like a ton.

Metallica Master of Puppets (1986): This is the fucking thing with 80s metal, man! If each of these songs were like 50% shorter, this would’ve been really solid, but as is they’re not interesting enough to justify how long they make you spend with them.

Aretha Franklin Lady Soul (1968): I like Never Loved A Man more than this one, but Aretha Franklin all-time excellent

Gary Numan The Pleasure Principle (1979): Really stripped-down, deliberately no-personality. Pretty interesting experience!

Flamin’ Groovies Teenage Head (1971): Ohhhhh shit these are the Louie Louie guys! Fun mix of rock, blues, etc. Seems kind of Of The Time in terms of baseline late-60s/early-70s bands.

Shuggie Otis Inspiration Information (1974): Nice soul/jazzy, which usually starts to bore me after a whole album, but was kind of nice to have on while I was writing the rest of these entries.

[benryphobic]

tell me ur thoughts on... Darnry

DARNEY MY BELARNREY......HELL YES

💐 Who tends to worry the most?

Darnold. He has anxiety! He's very uncomfortable with sudden change, too, so anything extreme happening out of his schedule makes him freak out

💋 Who is the most physically affectionate?

Benry. he gives his *friends* kisses, man. he would give Darnold so much physical affection it would be annoying (sometimes)

⛈ Do they enjoy dancing?

They do! Darnold dances like an old man, just kinda swaying side to side, while benry dances like a teenage girl. they have really different tastes in music, but can come together with dancing to r&b!

🌹⛈Who has the most nightmares and how do they deal with them?

Darnold has the most nightmares. Mostly about being terrified and trapped. Benry helps him by just kinda playing games with him, cos neither of them are too good at talking about feelings

🌺 Do they go to sleep at the same time as each other?

They do initially, bc Benry just. never slept. he doesn't need to. But then Benry started to appreciate the fine art of being able to cuddle and doze with a comfy body in his arms

⚡ What are their nicknames for each other?

I can't really think of anything but benry probably calls him like. D. Arnold. as a bit. otherwise i can't see them using any nicknames

🍃 What do they do when the other is stressed?

play video games....if that doesn't work, then they just talk about nothing. if it gets really bad, benry uses sweet voice for him, but thats not super often. darnold helps benry by just being his friend (homosexual)

🌻 How do they spend time if the other is gone?

Darnold does his science shit, goes back to school to become a professor, plays video games etc etc. benry plays video games, listens to music, probably makes his own music, talks to his friends, etc

🎮 Do they have a favourite video game they enjoy playing together?

team fortress 2.....they both go medic and do this

💍 Would they ever get married?

probably! no big wedding or anything, but they would get a little dressed up

✨ Who proposes?

benry! he does it very casually but very heartfelt

👑 Who is the meme lover?

darnold laughs at minion memes and cat memes. benry does not go on the internet.

📚 Who likes to read?

Darnold! he's fascinated with his field of study, but also in a lot of different things. he reads a lot to calm down and as a hobby

🎩 Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

haha benry. if benry needs attention (which is often) he'll bother darnold like an immature child.

🌼 How do their personalities complement each other?

i think both are very matter of fact while saying the craziest shit. the difference is you can kinda tell when benry is joking (unless youre gordon) , while you cannot tell at All when Darnold is. Plus i kinda see them both as quiet people, maybe ambiverts at most, so they just kinda chill most of the time. theyre absurd in different ways, and its great :)

🔥 Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

neither? i think benry would shoot someone just for picking their nose

💀 What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

oooohghuhghhhhh the cheesiest costumes ever. the first year theyre dating they go as a medic and solider duo, but years after theyd do like. cishet costumes bc they both think its funny (harley quinn and joker, Frankenstein and the bride of frakenstein, jack and sally, etc) they still really like dressing up as video game characters tho, so they do that too to mix it up

🌈 What are their favourite colours?

darnold likes green! benry........does not have a favorite

🌹 Who is the hopeless romantic?

Neither! Darnold is a man of science, a man of work. he was very happy being single, benry just kinda added a new dynamic in his life that he very much enjoyed. benry is just....not a romantic. if he has a crush on someone he's like "well.....lol" and usually pursues like a 5 year old

🎭 Who is the dramatic one?

benry. he sounds like he's eternally pouting

🎈 Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

benry, duh. hes kind of a dick. darnold cannot take him to funerals

💝 What do they love about each other the most?

the sick gamer strats. idk this is a weird question cos when u love someone, i feel like u love....all of them? or at least a lot of them. theres not really a favorite trait. they just go "yo this is nice as fuck" when u spend time with each other and like. cuddle.

👓 Who googles everything?

darnold uses Google as a research engine for his work and hobbies

🌙 How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

they r there for each other. if its truly helpless, i think that's enough.

🍂 What is an inside joke they have?

pyro airpoof.....whether or not Darnolds potions are g fuel bc Powerade is kinda close to Gatorade

💟 What do you think makes them perfect for one another?

i dont think theyre perfect for one another! benrys an annoying jackass, Darnold is a nice man. but i think if benry got a huge loser crush, hed feel the need not to pull on darnolds metaphorical pigtails. its respect

🌷 Are you nervous to talk about your OTP? Why?

kinda nervous! but only bc i have trouble thinking about their dynamic. my favorite genre of romance is just.....dudes that hang out and kiss. i also don't want it to sound like knock off frenrey. Darnold is the only one who seemed a little annoyed by benry too, in a very different, polite way, but i find it difficult to differentiate the dynamic. Darnold is a little bit of a straight man to the straight man. not to say he isnt absurd. but id find it reallt funny for benry to do some crazy shit and Darnold to go "uhm. ok."

Is your OTP Oc x Canon?

hmm difficult question. hlvrai characterization in general is making an oc and hoping it adheres to Canon. just by shipping darnold and benry im basically making some sort of oc x oc for myself, since their characterizations don't imply theyd ever end up in a romantic relationship

🎵 What's a song (or songs) that remind you of your OTP?

i need more songs for my darnrey playlist 😩😩😩😩

[btsvsmysanity]

OK so I've seen a lot of people talking about how "BTS isn't the same" after Permission to Dance got released yesterday. Now, I wasn't going to open my proverbial mouth about this but I write fanfic and readers have gotten friendly with me on twitter so I'm waiting for someone to ask me at some point. What I'm going to say here, I won’t be able to say to them because it's an account for my writing and there's a level of pseudo-professionalism I keep up. So basically this is me getting it all out so I can be like "Oh yeah, I love it" when it eventually gets brought up (honestly, I hate twitter so much, I just wanted to write my angsty fanfic in peace without people wanting Namjin smut and not taking no for an answer)

Okay, I'm just going to say it, I don't really like Permission to Dance and you know what, I'm okay with that. I also don't like BTS Cypher 1 (from 2013), I don't like Where You From (2014) or Moving On (2015). Plus a couple of others. That's fine because I don't expect myself to like all of their songs, it's just not going to happen.

In terms of an apparent decline in quality for BTS;

I haven’t been so excited for an album to come out that I barely sleep and then listened to it non-stop for the whole of the first day since Map of the Soul: 7. Don’t get me wrong, there are songs I adore on BE (Looking at you, Blue & Grey) but unfortunately neither Dynamite or Life Goes On was among them. I also struggled with BE because it tended towards the mellow side and while BTS' slower and ballad-type songs end up being among my favourites, they take me longer to get into, especially without some up-tempo songs to carry me through the album on my first run through.

However, I don’t blame that on the quality of the music. Aside from the things I've explained above, the thing that really hooked me on BTS at the start was getting into the theories so obviously the albums with an overarching "plot" pull me in more. And some of it is just down to personal preference. I mean, of all of BTS albums, there are 2 albums where I never skip any song (for those interested, they are: HYYH 2 and MoS: Persona) because some songs I just don't like, and some songs it just depends on my mood and sometimes I'm just stuck in my ways (Sorry, Kookie but 2! 3! will always be the fansong for me as much as I enjoy Magic Shop). And you know which albums I always say are my favourites? Dark and Wild and LY: Tear. Because I know I won't ever like every song they put out but I love 90%+ of it so BTS still own my soul.

Now, on the topic of them releasing English language songs.

I mean, they can say what they want- they're doing it to get better sales in America which is a whole other issue that I'm not qualified to dissect.

Do I like them? As I've already said, I'm not keen on Dynamite or Permission to Dance. But that’s because (and Butter is included in this), they just don't feel like BTS songs.

When Dynamite came out, I felt bad about that and so I had an idea and looked up the people credited with writing/producing the song. You know who wasn’t on there? The in-house BigHit production team (other than pdogg for "recording engineering") or a single BTS member. It's 1am so I'm not checking now but I'm sad and I've read a lot of the production credits for BTS songs and you know who's always on there? The rapline. Because they write their own verses, at the very least. That's why they don't feel like BTS to me, because BTS just singing the song isn't enough. And speaking of the rapline writing their lyrics, that brings me very nicely to my second point...

The lyrics aren't great. I mean, compared to other English language pop songs, they're amazing but compared to BTS' Korean lyrics? They don't hold a candle to the poetry and the word play they achieve in their Korean lyrics. People that I know have heard these English language songs and said to me something along the lines of "Why do you rave about their lyrics? They're pretty basic" and it makes me want to scream because they're not wrong but also, I wrote a mini-essay once on the lyrics of Spring Day because they're so beautiful and meaningful. I feel like it's almost dumbing down BTS and I'm there, trying to explain to non-ARMY about all these nuances and messages in their music. And it's not like you can't be poetic in English, I have awful memories of doing my English lit GCSE that say otherwise, the writers just need to try harder.

I know what some people might say, they're releasing these upbeat songs to break into the market better then they might release something more meaningful. To that I say: you can do both and BTS have before. The song that comes into my mind is Baepsae. That song slaps (THEY CALL ME (CALL ME) BAEPSAE... sorry) but they still managed to talk about the unfair expectations on younger generations who don't have the advantages of the older ones. And to me, that's BTS, music with a message. I know so many ARMY love BTS for that. We've all seen stories of how BTS have saved people's lives. I've been in some very dark places mentally and it was BTS that pulled me out of it by telling me the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest and that loving myself is harder than loving others. That's the BTS I fell in love with. Not meaningless pop that, while I enjoy it because I am a basic bitch who loves a good beat, I can get from a hundred other artists.

I don't really know where I was going with this but to wrap up:

If you like Permission to Dance, all power to you, my friend. Life is short so go enjoy the song, sing it in the shower, whatever, be free.

If you don’t like it, that's also fine. And if you're like I was with Dynamite, wondering why you're not feeling it because this is BTS, you're supposed to love it, maybe some of what I've said will resonate with you and you can figure out your own reasons why.

I look forward to BTS' next Korean album but until then, I'm going to keep enjoying the hundreds of songs I love by them

[aurora-daily]

Runaway with AURORA: we meet the songwriting sprite to talk about music old + new

'We simply have to survive. And that is enough'

Interview by Blossom Caldarone for gigwise (July 8th, 2021). 

A textbook empath and considerate soul, Norway’s AURORA has an endearing air of childlike sensitivity. Comfortably seated in her mother’s French dress, we caught up over Zoom amid the frenzied #runawayaurora trend and the singer’s monumental TikTok rise.

AURORA’s 2016 single ‘Runaway’ is now the dainty accompaniament to millions of short videos on the increasingly influential TikTok. Predominantly featuring suburban teenagers, the trend has encouraged people to find the charm in their otherwise mundane corners of the world. “Seeing the beauty in the small things is something we all lost on the way” she says. Whether users film lakeside days out, pose elegantly or capture early morning sun beams, the trend's theme is strikingly on brand for AURORA: “It’s nice that people have created a wholesome vibe to it - you never know with the trends! I’m happy it’s not anything horrible.”

Momentarily gazing at the mountains outside her Bergen window, it’s clear to see AURORA isn’t fazed by the numbers that currently skirt her name. “It’s a very abstract thing for me and therefore I don’t spend time trying to understand it. I’ve just been home, doing my normal things, cooking my dinner, reading my books and being in the studio. I’m very grateful that people are letting my song into their hearts” she softly explains.

Written when she was only 11, the song platforms a prematurely advanced AURORA grapple with the concept of running away from the people we love when we are in pain. “Just like a dog that goes out and dies alone in the forest, we do the same. We struggle so much in talking about these very mutual, normal feelings but can’t deal with them when we are going through them ourselves.”

It’s a universal reality that stumps any age or decade, and her philosophy on the song’s ability to resonate is profound: “Music, unlike us, has no age. If it’s good or relatable, or if it has nerve, it will never die and it will always make sense to someone.”

She’s embarked on a week of interviews, and I’m her last before the weekend. Conscious she may not want to wax lyrical about Runaway any longer, I turn the discussion to the things that make AURORA tick. “My biggest muse is Mother Earth and nature. It always has been and always will be” she gushes. “It grounds me, it opens me up. It humbles and strengthens me.”

Her Nordic roots affording her the luxury of stunning outdoor access, she talks effusively of its importance, and how life’s increasingly high tempo is detrimental. Astutely describing being human as an “extreme sport”, she accredits success to ending up in her own bed at the end of the day. “The world is way too demanding in every area. It’s almost impossible” she laments. Her approach to living is one of simplicity; where surviving is the only necessity and anything else a mere plus. “It’s a matter of life or death, we simply have to survive. And that is enough.”

With last year’s lockdown allowing her to fully immerse herself in her artistry, AURORA found herself revelling in the desolate streets and empty shops, whilst finding ultimate inspiration in the silence. Her introverted intentions thrived whilst she empathised with the struggling extroverts in the world: “Silence is so rare and I love it. I try to be in silence as much as I can”. AURORA famously doesn’t listen to much music apart from fellow celestial Enya: “I’m afraid I’ll miss out on an idea if I’m listening to something else. And I don’t want to be effected by other melodies. It contaminates me” she explains. A theory shared with anything but pretence, AURORA evidently has an ability to hone in on the nuances within the quiet; a skill that requires patience and devotion to creative processes.  

Her timely mid-pandemic single ‘Exist For Love’ is a song that prioritises the fundamental importance of love. A delicate step away from previous AURORA releases, its traditional tendencies embody the timeless essence of a '50s love song, a trait only enhanced by its cinematic Isabel Waller-Bridge arranged strings: “I just felt like we needed a divine love song. I truly believe that when we understand love - unselfish pure love - we understand why we exist” she plainly explains, again finding a way to strip down concepts that feel hard to define.

“When I write, I think a lot about what the world will need. I wish to make something that will be good for people.” Often writing selflessly, boundaries are key; being an empath can be exhausting. “I can’t really read the newspapers. I have to learn things through discussion, and then dive into matters if I want to educate myself more. I spend little time on social media because it makes us sad, but it also makes me sad to see so many sad people on social media.” Surrounding herself with others who also tend to give more than they receive, AURORA ensures her good intentions are not misplaced.

As for her fans, they are at the forefront: “I think a lot about them. It’s all for them.” But it will come as no surprise to learn that she doesn’t like the more vacuous side of the industry, and finds getting recognised slightly unsettling. “It’s good to know it’s all worth it. As long as you can say something that means something, you can use the music as a tool to support people out there” she justifies.

Her new single ‘Cure For Me’, out now, is another example of AURORA’s altruistic approach to songwriting. A playful tune that will surprise fans with its cheekiness, it debunks the idea that humans should ever need to be cured, and that anything other than who we are is abnormal. “People are very self-critical and it doesn’t take much for us to assume that something is wrong because we look different, or act different, instead of just accepting that we are different. We are all biologically designed to be unique” she explains. We go on to discuss how we’re led to believe that we’re crazy for being emotional or sensitive: “That’s what inspired me to make this song, as an anti-gaslighting song where you just celebrate that it’s fine, and you’re going to be fine, and I don’t need a ‘Cure For Me' because I’m perfectly ok as I am.”

The song’s juxtaposed setup is a peek into what’s to come: “It’s fun for me to be less serious about things. It’s very new for me. I am often very serious in all my music. I really feel like we need a bit of light right now, everything has been so intense.”

Heading into a newfound artistic side, AURORA is considering how the new sound should be consumed too. With her mystical ability to sonify nature and art, AURORA’s eclectic and ethereal world has always captured feeling in a visual way. “I love to be able to shape how people see my music, even if just a little bit. For many people, it’s easier to understand the whole thing when they can see it as well.” She is currently painting an “intimidating” canvas and studying Egyptian history, alongside Greek and Roman mythology. Finding inspiration in their bohemian attitudes towards female roles, AURORA is focussing on the old, the new and repeated behaviours in between: “Everything we’ve done in history, both good and horrible, has sometimes taught us to be better and sometimes not. Our patterns of behaviour are very interesting.”

So with ‘Cure For Me’ here and a well-researched new artistic process in full flow, AURORA is peacefully going about her business and prioritising the small things that make her feel truly content. Currently, she's filling her home with flowers: “It makes me more happy every day than I could ever imagine.” Her intentions are in the most authentic place; a space that prioritises connection and understanding, and one that prioritises the heart in a world where its complexities are so often dismissed. “As long as we remember to take care of the mind and the heart, we’ll have the capacity to care for others as well” she finally assures me.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression, radio version - Live special #3, August 9th 2016.

✯📆Kaoru starts by trying to remember when the last live special was, getting it wrong by saying it was at the start of year (It was actually in Dec).  Kaoru comments on how the amount of staff in the studio is different from usual when they go live. They also have half-price off food from the supermarket to keep them going for 2 hours.

✵🐎They then welcome Hiranabe and Tasai to join them for the show. Hiranabe worries whether he'll still have a job in the morning after doing this show. He doesnt want to lose his job, as he just also lost a ton of money on the horse racing.

Kaoru then suggest they might get a visit from Kami at some point, and they will try to have a phone call with Dobashi, who is currenly in Brazil 🇧🇷.

He then gets started with the top 5 stories of the first half of 2016. Counting down from...

●5. North Korean satellite lauch/ America and Japan suspect an intercontinental ballistic missile launch - Hiranabe thinks American satellites are so advanced that America will know exactly what N.Korea is doing. Joe thinks the wording/phrasing in such news articles makes a big difference as to how the story is percieved.

Kami tells them he is ok to appear on the show tonight, as he managed to catch the last train home after work. He's now enjoying taking part with a beer.

●4. A boom in adultery - Celebrity Becky's affair (plus apology to her sponsers at a press conference) at the start of the year has set off a string of public revelations about the adulterous affairs of other celebrities, all of whom have also immediately held press conferences to apologize. Before this year, celebrities tended to use their personal blogs etc to address the accusations. Joe brings up something he heard from Nuclear Safety Chief Madarame Haruki when interviewing him about the 3.11 disaster. Madarame said that it has long been Japan's culture to never badmouth a samurai who has commited seppuku. Badmouthing such a person makes you worse than whatever they did. In this way, if celebs appear at a press conference with tears in their eyes and full of apology, they can avoid any future dragging about their past mistakes.

✵🏘️At this point Kaoru takes a break from the countdown to read out an email from a listener. The email is from someone who currently lives in their hometown, but is thinking of moving to Tokyo, so they want to know Kaoru's advice for moving to Tokyo for the first time as a single person. Kaoru says he moved to Tokyo 19 years ago, and lived in Nerima ward at first, specifically the neighborhood Fujimidai. This was to be near to where Dir's manager lived. The rent was ¥120,000 a month for a 2LDK apartment, which he shared with Kyo. Kami gives out advice to not be picky about specific locations when searching for a cheap place. Hiranabe brings up the website 'Oshima teru', where you can check to see which apartments have previously been the sites of murders/deaths. The rent for such apartments is often abnormally cheap.  

✵🤭🤭🤭 Next Kaoru moves onto some news which interested Hiranabe a lot, the story being very typical of him....'Admission of squirting'. (Lots of laughs from the others, and Joe wants to know more 😆). The story relates to the model Darenogare Akemi. She appeared on a radio show and was denying the rumour that she was the type to lie still during sex, she claimed that she moves around and vocalises a lot during sex. The host of the show asked her, 'Yeh, but I bet you don't squirt?'. She replied on air, 'I do, I did for the first time a year and a half ago'. Hiranabe decided to dedicate a whole page in Tokyo Sports to this story.

Hiranabe was also fond of the Beat Takeshi 'Comǎneci pose' story, invovling actresses Ayase Haruka, Nagasawa Masami, and Hirose Suzu. This story was talked about previously on Ep 25.

✵☎️Next, they try having a direct phone convo with a listener. The caller brings up the news of the 2016 World Happiness Report, in which Japan ranked at #53. Joe explains these results are obtained by surveying local populations, but each nation has different standards of what happiness is. Kaoru thinks happiness is not something that should be ranked in this way. The caller then asks Hiranabe why he never learns to not spend so much money on women. He answers 'Because Im an idiot'. Joe asks the caller what she thinks Hiranabe looks like. She says 'a face which can't be broadcast'. (Laughs all round).

✵🎶Next they listen to a few of the new jingle entries. They like the second entry, which apparently contains phrases influened by a couple of Dir songs. They also like the fifth entry and ask Kami to do the voice-over on it, which they all find hilarious. Kaoru says he might use some of these entries on the show in future.

📞✵🇧🇷Next they connect via the phone to Dobashi, who is in Brazil covering the 2016 Olympics for Tokyo Sports. He is calling from the table tennis venue, as he is covering a match there. He says he has seen a few Japanese athletes win gold medals in other events, and encourages listeners to buy Tokyo Sports to read his reports.

They ask Dobashi various questions about security, and the local food etc, then Hiranabe asks him if he has any of the commemorative Olympic condoms, and whether or not he has used them. Dobashi says he has some, but hasn't used them. He opened one to check it out, and it was so thick, obviously not made in Japan (his words). Hiranabe asks him to bring some back as souvenirs 🤭😆

✵Before moving onto # 3 in the countdown, Kaoru reads out an email. This is from a listener who is a fan of Dobashi and wants to know what kind of woman he likes. Hiranabe knows his type..he likes kinda crazy women. Another email from 'radio name: 0.3mm' asks for some Olympic condoms. The last email asks them whether they like watching movies on regular screens, or on 3D/4D screenings. Kaoru prefers regular screens, otherwise he finds it difficult to concentrate. He recently watched the movie 'Shin Godzilla' (in 2D), and was anxious seeing familiar Tokyo landmarks getting trashed.

Continuing the countdown...

●3. Muhammed Ali's death. This was discussed in ep 39, about how Ali was very outspoken in regards to segregation. Despite Obama becoming the first black president, Joe questions how much discrimination against black people by white people in the US has actually improved. Hiranabe agrees with Joe, in that based on the news, race relations are not improving at all. Joe says we must be careful not to focus too much on the big headline of Obama as President. That doesn't suddenly mean everything is ok now.

Hiranabe then talks for a bit about his memories of prowrestler Antonio Inoki, who fought with Ali once.

●2. The eventual resignation of (former) Tokyo Governor Masuzoe Yōichi. Masuzoe had held onto his position as long as possible, claiming he was innocent. He's used specific techniques during press conferences to avoid getting cornered. Hiranabe was impressed with the words of new candidate Torigoe Shuntaro, who used the phrase, 'Everyone please get distracted', instead of the usual 'Don't get distracted', which candidates usually finish their speeches with. Joe draws comparisons with the 3.11 response. A third party investigation committee was set up in both the 3.11 case and Masuzoe's case, but if the guilty parties are choosing which lawyers make up the committee, its not very impartial in the end. Use of the word 'third-party' is another trick politicians use to try to look innocent.

✵☎️Next they take another phone call from a listener. This caller's first fave news of the year is the announcement of new Dir en grey tours. His second is about Pokemon Go. He asks if Kaoru plays. Kaoru says he's already given up, after getting to level 12. Joe interrupts to say Kami looks as if he's about to fall asleep.

Reaching the end of the countdown..

●1. Mystery Phoenix appears in sun. This is a story from Tokyo Sports back in May. Shapes resembling a phoenix have been spotted in various photos of the sun which were released by NASA. Tokyo Sports offered the suggestion of whether this might actually be real. Tasai hands a copy of Tokyo Sports out to everyone to show them the image, but Kaoru is more interested in another story on the same page: 'Discovery in Arizona of trunk from 20cm tall elephant with fish gills'. Joe then reads out some similarly crazy headlines from the newspaper in his hands. The question arises of whether this story merits being at #1.

✵To finish a quick suggestion of another live special at the end of the year, as long as everyone still has their job, and are not in Atami...., and Kaoru plugs his upcoming tours. In the last min, they all agree that Kami voicing the jingle was the funniest bit of the show. Kaoru wishes the listeners good luck at work tomorrow after staying up late to listen to the show.

Songs - Dir en grey/Amon (Symphonic ver.), Ill niño/God Save Us, Dir en grey/Un deux, Meshuggah/New Millennium Cyanide Christ, Dir en grey/Ruten no tou, Jakalope/Go Away, Dir en grey/Utafumi, System of a Down/Chop Suey.

To radio top page

[aonogifreactions]

Minecraft headcanons no one asked for

a/n: olcvfgmlkfm this hit me so randomly i dont even know. enjoy!! under the cut due to length!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Amaimon.

★ Words: 1,6k.

Rin:

this sweetheart loves playing with you whenever you ask him to! it relaxes him a lot, plus just having fun with you is making him really happy.

he stays somewhere near you, ALWAYS. he’s way too embarrassed to admit he’s scared (same Rin, same), so whenever he yelps or jumps on his bed because he heard a zombie growl, you can laugh as much as you want, but don’t be surprised if he shoots a glare at you and pouts.

he’ll bring you whatever you want. wood? fine. iron? no problem, he’s already on his way to find a cave (even if he’s afraid of caves.. he’ll do it for you).

he’s not very good at building, so usually he leaves it to you, and it doesn’t really matter whether you live in a “house” made out of dirt or a full ass mansion; no matter what your building skills are, he’s gonna praise you anyway.

sucks at parkour. DON’T ask him to play a parkour map, he’s gonna whine and barely make one jump.

speaking about bad jumping, he’s really clumsy and somehow always ends up with the highest death streak. for example, he’s sprinting to kill a pig, but somehow doesn’t notice a fucking lava pool below him and jumps right into it. accidentally hits a zombie piglin (or pigman, depends on what version you play on) and he’s dead.

HOWEVER, he’s the guy who gets really lucky. do you remember/have a person/friend that always manages to get diamonds first? yep, it’s him. gets the best enchants. both on books and tools or armor. he also gets the ender dragon kill first too.

he won’t play without optifine and texture pack other than the default one. he hates it. his fave is faithful and if it doesn’t work, he’s constantly commenting on how the default one is hurting his eyes.

he will NOT survive listening to both disc “11″ and “13″ he hates it. don’t play it unless you want him to cry.

hasn’t played alpha nor beta versions, but he likes watching vids of it! he gets very nostalgic, which honestly bewilders him because he started playing way after beta. sometimes you can catch him listening to the old soundtrack all teared up, or falling asleep to it.

LOVES GREEN PARROTS. one of them is named after you.

MAY I INFORM YOU, HE DOES PLACE HIS BED TOGETHER WITH YOURS.

Yukio:

unlike rin, he’s always complaining about you asking him to play, but he’s obviously gonna do it (because he loves u,, even if he says he doesn’t). it also relaxes him, but mostly, he likes it because he’s able to get his mind off of “adult things” and finally get some rest.

wooo, he’s the brave one. he isn’t afraid of zombie gurgles or anything like that, so he’s always going to caves first (and gets lost because he’s literally going deeper and deeper FDMKFMV). however, there’s one thing that always startles him... cave sounds. he doesn’t scream, but if you’re near him, you can sometimes witness his character spinning or jerking his head in another direction because of it vcxkvnjhbv

don’t, i repeat, dON’T make fun of him afterward. he’s gonna go all the way back to you and kill you (and then go back mining.. like nothing happened).

the perfectionist. always mines all the resources he sees; during building something he also always makes sure everything’s proportional. gladly counts blocks for you, if your brain can’t work anymore.

now, building! not very skilled with building houses, but he likes building simple decorations, like fountains, gardens or farms. despite him always claiming it’s bad, his work always looks very detailed. not very good with ideas of those things at first, so mainly at the beginning he always finds some inspirations on the internet, but later gets the hang of it and builds his own ideas!

his favorite place to have a house in is somewhere near the ocean.

likes default textures. too used to have anything else.

doesn’t like listening to in-game music, unless it’s something from beta or alpha versions (like “Haggstorm” or “Wet Hands”). Usually listening to his own favorite songs on Spotify.

His favorite disc is “Far”. It used to be “Cat”, but due to him obtaining it like 3000 times he stopped liking it. nor hearing it anywhere near.

when he goes out to get resources and/or food, he comes back with full inventory and shulkers, just like a father that’s about to feed his kids. minimum 10 stacks of iron, coal blocks and food. the nearest 10k chunks of caves is already explored, so you better be ready for a long, lONG WALK to get something new.

he’s also fond of beta versions, but rarely plays them without you.

Mephisto:

this motherfucker wants to literally speedrun every fucking game. meanwhile you’re busy making a wooden pick, he’s out there typing “can’t wait to beat the dragon and get elytras~! ★”

remembers literally every recipe for all items and alchemy. personal minecraft wikipedia right there.

he MUST have a fucking mansion, otherwise, he isn’t playing. fortunately, he’s tried building before, so he’s perfectly capable of building one himself. it’s all made out of pink wool and concrete, along with white concrete accents here and there. 

adding to the previous one, he also has a great decorating sense. the rooms look very good, space is filled nicely and is both pretty and practical. the mansion itself looks very good on outside and inside.

of course, the main bedroom that’s designed especially for you two looks WAY TOO GOOD. I'm not even gonna start on him messing with plugins and making it even prettier.

his skin is a random, pink anime girl.

master with redstone. everything’s automated, there also might be hidden rooms with surprises. there’s a hidden shrine dedicated for you. he hasn’t told you about that though... >_>

even though he gets many useful things from the swamp biome, like lily pads or that cyan flowers, he hates this biome with a burning passion. if he sees it anywhere near his render distance he’s spasming and immediately voicing his annoyance. hates that specific, “dirty and unsightly” green water and grass color.

he doesn’t do much mining, but happily goes with you if you ask him to. even if he has no armor on, he never dies. NEVER. there might be 6 creepers but he somehow survives their explosion.

not scared at all. he knows this game like the back of his hand. he might, however, attempt to scare YOU instead. on purpose. or accidentally hit you so you fall from a large height and die. if you get upset at him afterward, he’s gonna give you even better stuff you’ve had before.

HE LOVES PLAYING ALPHA AND BETA. he started to play probably around very early alpha, so coming back to such simpler times is making him somewhat nostalgic (even if he denies it). on those versions, he builds things that used to be popular back in the day, like simple towers of cobblestone or houses inside mountains. it hits him hard when old soundtrack plays.

Amaimon:

he’s very, very confused. first off, he’s not used to the game at all, but then, he googles almost any recipe or asks you thousands of questions about how to make things. after some time, he finally figures out that there’s a book with recipes in game.

he might steal your items, but usually, he gives you back better items. for example, you notice your iron pickaxe is missing, but suddenly he sprints into the house and throws at you diamonds.

oh, he’s aware of the existence of chests, but for some reason, he likes throwing various items at you. he runs off afterward, leaving you with everything on the ground.

don’t introduce him to bedrock edition, he hates playing minecraft with a gamepad, and will smash it immediately. java edition is the only help for this man.

he’s also clumsy, like Rin. he manages to do that less than him somehow, but he tends to die pretty often anyway. his deaths are the stupidest, sometimes he doesn’t even bother explaining it. he literally can die with gravel suffocating him.

once he goes to the nether, he doesn’t wanna go back to the overworld. he says something along the lines of it being similar to gehenna or whatever, but. no matter what version it is - pre- or post- update 1.16, he likes it and that’s it.

his favorite biome in the overworld is jungle - mostly because of the lively color of grass, but also tall trees. he likes having there treehouses and always asks if you can build one (because he sucks at building. even worse than Rin >_>). his fave in the nether is blue forest or basalt biome - however, he becomes mad quickly on the second one due to frequent gaps filled with lava and magma cubes.

he likes normal slimes though. he even has a pet slime!! QwQ

he named his pet slime after Behemoth. keeps it safe in a glass cube and checks on it regularly. Behemoth doesn’t know about it doe.

he bullies every single villager that’s within his sight. burns their homes. the only thing that survives is the iron golem because he thinks it’s cool.

plays with the basic Steve skin. partially because he doesn’t know how to change it and that he isn’t determined enough to look for any.

forgets that crouching exist and falls off almost every cliff or anything that’s considered high.