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#plus he has such a bad sense of direction which actually makes me so happy because i DO TOO and the people around bi
whim513 · 18 days
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okay as someone with chronic fatigue mitrum genuinely means the world to me. He’s exhausted and has no desire to do anything, he needs so much help to simply exist but hes around despite it!! And the people around him dedicate so much time and effort to him, they take care of him and tend to him and that means the WORLD to me. That there are people out there who care and love people like me, even at my most tired, even when i can’t do what i want to do. They are there regardless and they want me to live a happy life and will do whatever it takes to achieve that goal. I’m very thankful to mithrun for showing that disabled people live and that people do love us, that there is hope.
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meowzfordayz · 1 year
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when you’re going through an episode — mitsuri, shinobu, kyojuro, sanemi, giyuu
Author’s Note: it’s difficult to accurately capture the scope of bipolar disorder in a comfort fanfic, so just know that these preferences barely graze the surface of what it means to have bipolar, and that it’s more complicated and nuanced than fixing a bad day w/ a hug. 🖤 Update: was just informed that BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder. 😅 Apologies for my misunderstanding/mistake, but hope this still provides comfort! 🫶🏽
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when you’re going through an episode — mitsuri, shinobu, kyojuro, sanemi, giyuu
Kanroji Mitsuri x Reader, Kocho Shinobu x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader
Word Count: ~1,000
CW: bipolar disorder
Emergency Request Fulfilled: I’ve been so depressed, stuck in the bpd episode for like a week. I can barely will myself to leave my bed
Could you maybe do some female demon slayer characters (Mitsuri, shinobu, lady tamayo, female muzan, etc) taking care of a reader also going through a bad depressive episode?
Emergency Request Fulfilled: hello, i am requesting for an emergency request of maybe the hashiras (esp rengoku) comforting their bpd lover while theyre currently going thru a bpd episode
my bpd has been really bad as of late and my episodes r exhausting me, i just want to be comforted. feel free to write whenever, i adore your writing sm!! thank you
~faqs~
When you’re going through an episode…
… Mitsuri’s talked with you previously to ensure she’s as educated and prepared for your episodes as she can be, but having an outline of how to support you is never quite the same as actually executing it. It’s difficult for her to not take your disorder personally, because she prides herself on being joyful, enthusiastic, and positive; she can only handle gentle rejection so many times before she needs space. That being said, she feels safe enough to communicate her own fears and disappointments, so ~space generally entails you shooing her out of the house for ~an hour to treat herself to bubble tea and sunshine before rejoining you back in the pillow fort (which she always makes because she knows it helps you feel just a little lighter; if it means guests can’t use the living room for an extended period, then oh well). Sometimes she’s successful in coaxing you along with her, fingers interlaced loosely with yours, her smile wide as ever; other times she’s sure to return with your go-to order, plus a few photos of pretty flowers that reminded her of you.
… Shinobu does her best to listen. Whether you’re waking her up at 2am Shinobu, I had a nightmare, calling her on her lunch break I haven’t gotten out of bed yet, or showering while she sits on the toilet lid I’m so tired, thank you for waiting for me; it’s a simple gesture that goes a long way. She knows she doesn’t have to have profound replies, just as she knows how important and special it is that you feel safe enough to let her into your head, especially when she knows how low you’re feeling. It also helps her—gently—interrupt you when you start catastrophizing or spiraling, counter your self-directed negative perceptions, and gauge your overall mood. She rarely offers advice—she knows she’s your partner, not your therapist—but she’s grateful she gets to bring a calm, logical presence to your weighted, preoccupied thoughts. When you smile faintly, eyes almost shining, couch cushion sinking as you scoot yourself closer to her warmth; that’s when she knows she’s on the right track. “I appreciate you,” you murmur, words sweet and apologetic on her skin. “And I appreciate you,” she chuckles quietly, body shifting to accommodate you curling into her, “You make me happy too.”
… Kyojuro does everything with an extra hint of softness. He understands maintaining a sense of normalcy can be helpful, but his chest aches at the exhaustion in your eyes, the halfhearted grip of your hand in his, how you laugh for his sake when he tries to make you smile — not because he actually succeeded. From washing your hair to feeding you bites of lunch, he goes out of his way to ease the process of simply being; to spark joy in the state of living. He knows satisfying basic needs are vital to getting through your episodes, just as he knows eating, bathing, going for a walk can be some of the hardest to do. Tough love isn’t his preferred method, so he opts for: making airplanes sounds while directing a spoonful of dinner toward your mouth, insisting he can’t reach his back to wash it, so, “Please join me in the shower! I need you!”, and claiming his hand feels lonely, “Could you hold it during my walk? I fear holding my own hand does not nearly suffice.” He doesn’t mean to belittle or baby you, but he’ll try anything to see you smile or even roll your eyes — to get to say I love you too.
… Sanemi doubts his ability to care for you. Make no mistake: he loves you, and doesn’t resent you in the slightest. He does, however, feel completely out of his depth. He understands in theory that loving someone isn’t all ease and sunshine, but in practice? He’d do anything to feel your smile on his lips, to have you snuggle further into his chest as he holds you, to hear you chat about your day, your favorite color, how you almost got caught in a downpour — anything, to know you’re ~okay. It takes a while for him to accept that ~okay comes in waves, and that silence on your end is not inherently rejection of his affection and effort. Telling him, “Even if I can’t express it in the moment, knowing you’re here beside me always makes me happy,” definitely helps reassure him that he can do something for you—by simply being him—and caressing his cheek when you think he’s asleep, murmuring, “Thank you for being patient with me, I love you,” reminds him all over again that I love you.
… it’s difficult for Giyuu to support you without feeling low himself. He feels so strongly for you, and is almost too close to provide the steady, neutral responses that seem to help you most. He can always hold you, can always kiss your forehead, touch your knuckles to his cheek, but he can’t always listen — he can’t always bend without breaking completely and utterly for you. Which isn’t to say you’re over reliant on or demanding of him; it’s just hard for him to know how much you’re hurting without taking that hurt into his heart and making it his own. He wants to be there for you, but navigating his boundaries and your needs definitely takes time, practice, tears, and forgiveness. “I want you to be yourself around me,” he murmurs, body spooning protective and cool behind you, “But I’m not the best when it comes to certain parts of you.” Nodding slightly, you clutch his hand to your chest, eyes closed as you reply, “And that’s okay. You can’t be good with all of me, and I’m not great with all of you either. But we both try, don’t we?” “Of course.” “That’s enough for me.” It’s enough for me too he thinks as he kisses the back of your head, grateful for the feeling of your smile grazing his fingertips.
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least-carpet · 1 year
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For the shipping ask game, Xicheng and Chengxian?
Hello, anon! This got wildly out of hand, so it's all going under a cut.
Xicheng: Could Ship It
Borrowing this additional option I saw floating around!
I'm not strongly opposed to it, but it's hard for me to see them making it work in a canon universe. The fanart is very cute, though! And I've read some AUs that I thought made a good case, but they involved some thoughtful interventions.
What potential do you see in the ship?
Honestly, like, I just want them to both have something nice, they've had such a hard time. They both understand the hard work and sacrifices involved in sect leadership. I think the argument for it goes something like Jiang Cheng gets a person on his side who is kind to him, and Lan Xichen gets someone who's very reliable and also pretty direct, to heal his presumed post-canon trust issues.
What aspect makes you hesitant?
It just doesn't seem to me that they really enjoy each other? Like I believe they get along just fine and have a comfortable working relationship. I don't think they dislike each other, even. But they don't seem particularly close, even though they're of a rank and have been working with each other for years and years. I want my blorbo (Jiang Cheng) to be loved for his bad personality, not in spite of it!
I also think they would really struggle to communicate—Lan Xichen prefers to smooth things over, but Jiang Cheng reads too much reserve or politeness as rejection and, uh, gets reactive (thank you Jiang Fengmian for giving him the MOST deranged daddy issues, for real). Actually, I think Lan Xichen has a lot of potential to push a lot of Jiang Cheng's dad-related buttons just because of his temperament. (Maybe that's a plus? CRUNCHY.)
It also has the potential to cause some new and exciting political problems for them, which they both prefer to avoid.
Chengxian: Ship It
[lies face-down on the floor and starts hollering]
These two make me fuckin' insane!
What made you ship it?
Two things:
Their mutually happy childhood relationship, their initially compatible dysfunctions (Jiang Cheng is easily embarrassed but secretly wants affection, Wei Wuxian is bad at boundaries and WILL die if you don't pay attention to him -> Wei Wuxian touching Jiang Cheng all the time and receiving his attention, making both of them happy). Their enjoyment of each other. I love a badly-boundaried and devoted teenage relationship, it's delightful. Even before chengxian completely rotted my brain out, there was something specifically appealing about the Lan summer camp era.
The double golden core reveal took me out. I found Wei Wuxian's decision completely appalling to begin with, like viscerally disgusting. (I find it interesting when antis accuse Jiang Cheng of pretending to be upset when he finds out, or of not caring where the new core came from, because I, reader who did not get nonconsensual magic surgery, profoundly Did Not Like It. If it was my own body, I would freak out.) It's a fascinating combination of obsessive devotion and total denial of agency. Wei Wuxian is just like, "Don't worry, I will invent new and unheard of methods of violation for your own good because I can't cope with your despair." That's deranged, my dude. That is Not Normal. And then you find out that Jiang Cheng lost the core saving Wei Wuxian, and he plans to NEVER TELL HIM ABOUT IT. God damn it.
I don't even really care if they kiss, although it's fun when they do. Just reconcile! Reconcile!
What are your favourite things about the ship?
In no particular order:
In a text that is largely pro-Wei Wuxian—not in the sense that everything he does is moral, but in the sense that he's the cool protagonist, and he gets to kick ass and solve mysteries and have a happy ending—this relationship is one that highlights his weaknesses and failures in a very humanizing way. And in order to reconcile, he would actually really have to challenge himself and grow as a person, which I love for him. (I also think Jiang Cheng would have to struggle for it, but, like, dude has demonstrated the capacity to do hard and terrible things even when confronted with his own weaknesses. He's not gonna be cool about it, and he's going to cry and bitch the whole time, but if he thinks it needs to be done and it can be done, he'll do it.)
The lack of boundaries within the relationship, which is a product of the lack of clarity of the type of relation to each other. Are they friends? Are they martial brothers or real brothers? If Wei Wuxian is Jiang Cheng's shixiong, but Jiang Cheng is also Wei Wuxian's sect leader, which takes precedence? (It's clear what should take precedence, but Wei Wuxian just straight-up does not Respect His Authority, even though—by all available evidence—Jiang Cheng is a really good leader. But that lack of respect is also a form of intimacy.) It's super, super messy.
Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
By lying to him so extensively, and then by failing to show up for any of his commitments without any explanation, Wei Wuxian really did betray Jiang Cheng a whole bunch of times, and Jiang Cheng's resulting betrayal trauma really is his fault.
You break it, you bought it, coward! Stop running away! (For legal purposes, this is a joke.)
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nerdieforpedro · 4 months
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We need to be on the same page
Chapter 6 of Weddings 101 with Dieter Series
Dieter Bravo x Maya (plus size OFC)
This blog and fic are for readers 18+ MDNI
Summary: The fallout from the pictures begins and Dieter’s PR leader Vanessa is here to help, we think. Zack is just trying to stay employed. Dieter and Maya make a critical decision. Oscar might actually be useful.
Word Count: 3836
Warnings: naked people, a bad Beyoncé joke, messing with your assistant, some angst, no Cheetos or tequila were harmed in his chapter, sexual tension? or she might not be that into you dude, plotting, being an asshole sister in law, anxiety, I might have a good use for Oscar finally
Notes: This took me a while because I don’t like having loose ends and I wanted to build the drama! Not that there isn’t enough. 😆 With this chapter, this fic is my longest one to date, I'm proud of all the different directions it goes into. I have even more plans for them. 🫡
Main Masterlist/ Dieter Bravo Masterlist/ AO3 Link
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Today was one of the days that Zack did not look forward to. He was at the villa at ten in the morning. The photos were everywhere, Vanessa had blown up his phone for information and face-timed him from the jet. He needed to warn both Dieter and Maya that she was coming. Maybe it would be good… “No, I'm lying to myself. Vanessa will question everything. Will I even have a job? She seemed mad though Mr. Bravo’s happy. Doesn’t that count for something? It’s not with drugs.” Walking up to the front door, he was going to use his key when he heard some giggling. “I just…I’ve seen Dieter naked. It’s kinda a requirement of the job. Just not Ms. Maya, she’s a nice lady.” He decided to knock loudly on the door, the giggles ceased and he heard footsteps heavy toward the door. 
“Who’s banging on my door this damn early?! You better get out of here!”
“Dee at least ask who it is.”
“I don’t care, it could be the president, pope or, no Beyonce could come in.”
“I am not meeting Beyonce in my robe. My hair is a mess, my face is puffy, I haven’t showered yet…that’s not who it is!”
“I mean, if she shows up on this door, she’s gonna have to be okay with my bare ass, balls and your robe with your cute puffy face. It’s just us. You don’t need one. I’m just going to take it back off to eat you for-.”
“MR. BRAVO IT’S ME ZACK! YOUR ASSISTANT!” He screamed, he didn’t need to hear Dieter removing anything off of Maya or eating her in any capacity, they can do that after he leaves later. Never any filter with this damn man, he just needs to remind himself of his loans. This is for your loans. This job is getting you out of debt.
“Oh! Why didn’t you say so?” Dieter opens the door as Maya yells at him not to. She grabs the throw blanket off the couch and wraps it around Dieter's waist. Zack appreciates that someone has some sense of when to be naked and when not to be. 
“Good morning Ms. Maya. Hi Dieter.” The assistant enthusiasm only was on display for Maya who gave him a smile and a hello. Dieter sucked his teeth. 
“Hey! Why do you greet her like that? I’m your employer! Be happy to see me, dammit!” Bravo fussed and took a hold of the blanket that Maya had been holding. He needed to pull it up so he wouldn’t step on it. 
Zack set his messenger bag on the couch and made a mental note of which throw blanket that was. It would need to be washed later after being thrown on Vanessa first. Maybe in her face. 
“Have either of you turned on the TV or looked at your phones? I did try calling both of you, but I assume-” Zack trailed off. He took a good look at them both. Dieter had scratches on his shoulders and chest peppered with bruises. His neck has several hickeys and so did Maya’s. She on the other hand appeared to have bruises that resembled fingers maybe? Zack didn’t want to think too much about it. “You both were otherwise occupied.” He sat down in the overstuffed chair. Dieter sat in the middle of the couch with Maya on one end, he draped part of the blanket over her legs since her robe hit mid-thigh.
Maya shakes her head. “No. We haven’t. Is there something Dieter should be concerned about?”
“It’s something both of you should be concerned about Ms. Maya.” Zack sighs and pulls out his iPad. On it, he loads up Google and type in Dieter’s name. The first ten links are to various sites that have pictures and speculations about Maya and Dieter, their relationship, who she is, what he’s doing with her and all sorts of nonsense. Thankfully, the negative comments are at a minimum, most were wondering if Dieter was making a turn for the better after his two week long marriage to Anika. 
Dieter thought he’d been careful. The boutique had been cleared, he thought. The jet he hadn’t been concerned about much of anything except getting her to ride with him so that one’s on him. The restaurant was supposed to only have VIPs, others who wouldn’t care about him being there with someone. Outside of the wedding venue could have been anyone. He hadn’t been thinking on that one either, well other than spending time with Maya that is. Now he’s involved her without her full consent. “Dammit…” He turned to say something to her, anything, but she’d gotten up and walked upstairs. He stood to go after her but Zack called after Dieter.
“Sir, if you’re going to have a conversation with any meaning, at least put underwear on. Also Vanessa just texted and she’s an hour out. No word on what the plan is yet. Don’t say anything stupid to Ms. Maya. She’s…” The assistant’s voice trailed off as Dieter stood next to his chair naked with his hands on his hips.
“She’s what Zack? Maya is funny, wonderful, gorgeous and so damn soft. I better not catch you looking at-“
“Mr. Bravo. I was going to say she’s a normal person like me who’s likely freaked out about suddenly having her picture everywhere and her life questioned by people she doesn’t know. Also I don’t see her that way. I don’t see you or anyone that way. I don’t form attachments like that at least not right away and it needs to be the right person.”
“That’s right, you’re Demi-sexual right? I keep forgetting that.”
Zack massages his temples, his boss has gotten sidetracked. “Task at hand sir. Ms. Maya is freaking out. Reassure her with pants on.” He knew to keep it short so Bravo wouldn’t lose focus again.
“Right, I’m off. Tell Nessa we’ll be down shortly.” Making his way up the stairs, he quickly went into his room, tossed on some boxers and took a deep breath. “Taking advantage of this would be wrong…right?” Daisy nips at his toes. “Hey girl, you gave us some privacy last night? Thanks.” He picks her up and scratches behind her ears. “I want her to stay with us Daisy. I know she has her own stuff, but couldn’t it be part of mine? We could have our stuff.” The goat licks a bite mark on his neck, “Maya’s a bit rough with me Daisy. It’s been a long while since I’ve been handled like that.” The low chuckle at the memory had him curious when the next time would be, if there would be a next time.
In Maya’s room:
“Oh my god, oh my god….nononono…” Panic was taking over, what did this all mean? Is she going to need to change jobs? Her name? What do people even do in this situation? Is she just going to be some quiz show question? That’s not how Maya wants to be on Jeopardy. Pacing in her room, she hears her phone vibrate.
Maya picked up her phone and saw twenty missed calls, ten of which were from Elyssa. Her mother congratulated her for snagging not only a nice man but a rich one. Her little brother Michael said to call him, he needs to talk to this man who has her out all over the place. Her two older brothers said the same thing but told her that they won’t recognize him as a brother in law unless he passes a few tests. There were increasingly frantic texts from the bride demanding to know the following:
Why she brought a celebrity to her wedding?
Why she was trying to sabotage her?
Is it because the entire time she’s dated Michael, Maya’s always been alone?
Did you go into debt paying him to come with you? 
Or is this how you were able to afford coming out to the wedding in the first place?
“What the hell are they all talking about about Dieter is not…he’s…well. Maybe…” Her conviction is wavering but she can’t stay with Dee. She has work, a life, but the last few days have been nothing short of wonderful. “And last night was…”
“I thought between last night and this morning things were great, superb even. Am I wrong?” Strolling in her room wearing a pair of navy boxer briefs that hung just below the swell of his tummy, Dieter crossed his arms watching Maya stop her pacing. She looked up at him, feeling embarrassed, frustrated, pissed and if she was honest with herself, happy. Unable to meet his gaze, she kept her eyes on her phone, re-reading Elyssa’s texts. Dieter peered over her shoulder and clicked his tongue. “She really has nothing better to do then text you that? That woman is insufferable. I’d feel bad for your little brother if it didn’t sound like he was threatening me too. Doesn’t he know I have a goat?” 
Wrapping his arms around her, Maya her initial laugh turned into a sigh and leaned back against Bravo’s chest. “They’re just worried, though they don’t need to be.”
“Is that what you call it? I’d say they’re over-protective. And Elyssa is being a bitch with those questions. Anyway, forget all that, sit down.” Dieter tugs her over to the bed and has Maya sit across his lap with her legs to one side. She tried to stand up, but she still got his strong arms wrapped around her. “We need to talk cariño (sweetheart.)”
“I know. I’ll go to the hotel. Things should blow over right?” Still looking at her phone, thumbing through her Instagram. There are mostly curious comments, a few mean and racist ones, a couple others were congratulatory. Bravo takes her phone and tosses it on the bed. “Dee, what the hell?” Finally, she’s looking at him, with surprise and fear on her face.
“I know you’re scared Almond Joy. I also know you never asked for any of this, to be associated which a guy who’s known for fucking up everything he touches except for easels, scripts and KitKats.” A kiss to her shoulder has her stiffen, then relax. “I also…don’t want you to leave.” Maya’s watching his eyes again. They look the same as last night, burrowing within her. 
“I can’t. You know I can’t. I’m not like you Dieter.” Shutting her lids tight is the only way not to be drawn in by his cocoa pools. Putting an arm around his shoulder, her hand lands on his back where she’s scratched him. 
“I know you’re not Maya. That’s part of what makes you so majestic. The trust you have in me, the fun, some other things you might still have in you.” Her fingers pinched his cheek. 
“Be serious! I’m not built for that type of scrutiny Dee and we’re not even toget-“
“But what if we were? Together? I mean it’s pretty muddled but you snap me back in to focus. We can just date. I’m not saying you have to stay here, we just see each other when we can. Video calls and I’ll come see where you live and-“
“You’ll tell me it’s beneath me and I need to be somewhere else because I only live once or something right?” The quick peck to his lips paused his thoughts. “Is that what our relationship becomes? Calls and visits? I…” Maya laments, she just has to say it, but she can’t. “Just let me go. I can’t…” Slipping out of Dieter’s arms, she steps away from him only to be in front of the same mirror from last night. Where he showed her how beautiful he believes her to be. Her hands are in her face again. She’s frightened but he’s thinks it’s not only the prospect of being on display for people.
Instead of approaching her from behind Bravo stands in front of her, “Ahora relájate y deja que cuide de ti (Relax now and let me take care of you).” Dieter places his hands on hers and moves them, she allows him to without a fuss. Her eyes are closed and there are tears at the edges, his lips wipe them away. “Let me. I’m not saying you’ll be a kept woman. You know that’s not what I mean. Just be honest with me, like you were last night. Tell me what you want.”
Maya knows he’s giving her a huge opening. She’s been fighting what she wants. She told herself it’s just for now, and then it was until the wedding was over. But Dieter’s offering it to her, why can’t she just say it?! “I..I…want. I want to stay with you. Be silly, wake up with you and do more fun things. Like the beach, swimming, brunch, just a drive. I don’t want to worry anymore. I’d like…” Dieter places his forehead against Maya’s as her tears fall. He doesn’t wipe them away this time. Just lets her continue. “I’d like to be fussed over, just some. Not in a weird dominating way but like…a soft way. Like am I okay, do I need anything, does that feel good, would you like more, do you even like that, what do you want to do today, what are your favorite foods and colors…Ugh…that was way too much. I can’t-“
“No. You can Maya. Be greedy. Ask for my time. Tell me to give you all you want. I don’t know if I can but I can damn well try. Mi mujer perfecta (My perfect woman).” He kisses her forehead and cups her face with his large hands. Her eyes are red and puffy. “I’ll say it again. I don’t want you to go Kit Kat. Just stay and worry about yourself. Please.”
“I feel like I’m watching a romance film right now. My, my…It looks like we won’t need to manufacture a real relationship between the two of you.” A woman of about five feet seven inches with auburn hair and matching butterfly tattoos on each arm. She wore a sleeveless navy blue slim fit dress with black red bottom heels. Her red tote bag swayed with her steps toward the couple. “Sorry to interrupt darlings, such a sweet moment, but we need to go ahead and decide how we want the chips to fall.” She smiled, patting Maya’s shoulder, studying her wet face. This Maya is cute, she almost wants to pinch her cheek. That didn’t matter much, what would matter is what these two decided to do. “My name is Vanessa. I’m the leader of Dieter’s PR team. Meet me downstairs when you two are dressed, don’t take too long. There’s much to discuss.” The fixer disappeared out of the room and back down the stairs to Zack, it looks like there was a lot he left out in his updates.
Back downstairs, Zack was being questioned by Vanessa after she peeked in on Dieter and Maya. She found out that Dieter had invited Maya on his jet after her flight was canceled. Since then, they’d grown closer and outside of one small sniff of a seat (Zack left out that it was coke on Maya’s seat - told her it was ecstasy). He also told her about Oscar’s fights with Dieter and the goat bite. Vanessa said she was aware of that one not the guitar one though. She said that she would table the idea of using Oscar in that manner, instead, why was Maya coming to Hawaii in the first place. Zack then remembered it was for a wedding, though who knows what’s happening with it now. From what he’s gathered, the bride, Maya’s future sister in law sounds like an asshole and crazy. Vanessa was making notes in a small pad she removed from her tote. “A plan is brewing Zack. You’ll need to actually keep me informed instead of pieces of information.”
”Yes ma’am. It’s just…Ms. Maya is really nice and Dieter seems somewhat sane with her. As sane as he’s going to be. It’s nice. No woodwind or brass instruments so far this week. I don’t know what his deal with the instruments is either. So weird. Or crazy parties. And I haven’t seen any toys askew but they could have just cleaned up which is still pretty nice and-“” Zack paused. “Just see how they are with each other, you’ll see.” 
Soon Maya and Dieter came downstairs fully dressed, Maya in a simple pink dress, flowing with wide sleeves and skirt. She’d cleaned her face but it was slightly red around the eyes and ends of her ears. Dieter had on a pair of black shorts with a white tee and sunglasses on his head. They sat on the couch and held hands. Zack and Vanessa watched their body language, in addition to them holding hands, Maya was leaning onto his shoulder and their knees were touching. If…they were seen like this out and about and if someone for whatever reason did an interview with them, it would reflect well for Dieter. Despite actually marrying that woman Anika, their interactions (outside of what happened in their bedroom) reflected two people that weren’t comfortable with each other and were distant. 
“Have you two decided what you want to do? It’s not really ideal for the start of any relationship, but at the very least we’ll be able to sell you two as being in a legitimate relationship.” With her white manicured nail, she drew an imaginary circle around the pair. “The way your two sit in silence with each other is excellent. I take it, a decision has been made?” Vanessa placed her elbow on the top of her bent knee. 
Maya squeezed Dieter’s hand and nodded, letting him talk, “Yeah we have Nessa.”
Later that evening…
Oscar was not pleased, what he woke up to was mostly positive headlines about Dieter Bravo. How happy he looked, how content, was it because of the new woman in his life? Was it something else? Maybe he came to Hawaii to rest and recharge and that’s why he looks like he has not a care in the world.  Issac’s plan had severely backfired, worse yet, his assistant informed him that he’d received a call from Vanessa La Roux’s office. Oscar is aware of who she is and has only one dealing with her before and that ended poorly, where he had to take a sabbatical afterward. 
Hanri knocked on Oscar’s hotel room door, he’d done as his boss asked and felt horrible about it. He was dropping off his boss’ usual order of tequila and three bags of hot Cheetos that he likes to eat in the evening. He had been propositioned by Vanessa and happily agreed to get her in the hotel and a private meeting with Mr. Issac. After getting her in, he left her to it and headed back to his room with his money. Oscar heard the door and called for the young man to bring him his snack.
“Good evening Oscar. Hanri is otherwise occupied.” Vanessa tilted her head and smiled, setting a bottle of tequila and the bags of cheetos on the end of the actor’s bed. “We have quite a bit to discuss tonight. You’ll need to be sober for this. After we talk you can drown yourself in your choice of drink.” She pulled up a chair and sat across from Oscar who was naked except for a soft eggshell robe that was wrapped around him.
“I figured you’d pop up at some point you damn she-devil. I guess my fun’s over. How much do I need to pay you to leave your little goat lover alone this time?” He remarks as he sips his red wine, expecting an outrageous number from her. It’s not like he hadn’t paid Vanessa and Dieter’s team before. Oscar enjoyed pissing Bravo off by any means. Their business ran on public opinion and numbers - no matter if it was scores, awards, stars, money, age, you name it, it could have a number. 
“No, no, no Oscar. You don’t get to just pay me this time. If it was just messing with Dieter, that’s one thing, but-“ Vanessa stood and snatched a bag of cheetos, ripping it so they spilled on the floor. “-you’ve not only been stalking him. Something you said you’d never do again, you also leaked pictures of him and his girlfriend, who hadn’t settled on being in the public eye yet and now she has to. No cheetos for you.” Grabbing a fist full of Oscar’s hair, she tugged on it. “You’re going to follow Dieter and Maya to the wedding and you’re going to do exactly as I tell you. Then we can talk about money and I can use it to fund another studio for Dieter.”
Sucking his teeth, Oscar nods and takes a swig of his tequila, the fixer lets go of his hair and extends her hand. They grip hands and shake, sitting back down. “What do I have to do jefa (boss)?” He attempted to touch her knee but she slapped her hand away. “Ahaha, You’re really serious aren’t you? Well jefa, that just makes the reward that much hotter doesn’t it?” His snicker has Vanessa shift her weight from side to side.
Looking over her shoulder, she sneered. “That was only one time. Don’t test your luck Issac. I’ll be in touch.” She walks out leaving him to his late night snack. “You know you’re too old to be drinking like that, it was that same tequila that got you and Dieter on a lifetime ban from The Muppets.” 
Oscar smiled as he stood and walked up behind Vanessa. Not touching her, just leaning over her shoulder to meet her face a few inches away. “I don’t recall you saying that in the green room when I had my Count cape on, and that wasn’t just one time. Unless you count it as one within a certain time period.” She exhaled and continued toward the door and Oscar followed her, but gave her more space, holding the door open for her. “I’ll take your ever so thoughtful advice mi jefa.” He takes a bow as she walks out. 
On her way down to the car, Vanessa whips out her phone and texts Zack to tell Maya (as she’ll actually make sure Dieter’s on time) to ensure that they are at the dress rehearsal for the wedding on time tomorrow. Thankfully, it’s only some family stuff that Maya can skip and she mentioned after their talk that she would be having lunch with her mother. 
The stage is prepared except for a few pieces here and there. This wedding rehearsal will be a vivid experience for all those in attendance. Vanessa was counting on it for Dieter’s sake, it was her job after all.
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The Trash Panda Possse 🦝: @megamindsecretlair @pedritapascal @pascalsanctuary @nissaimmortal @angelofsmalldeath-codeine
@soft-persephone @saturn-rings-writes @readingiskeepingmegoing @harriedandharassed @yorksgirl @bishtrouille
@missladym1981
Chapter 5 Chapter 7
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a-libra-writes · 1 year
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I saw your Lackadaisy headcanons and I couldn't be happier cause this fandom needs more love. Can you do one for Mordecai with a female reader who's love language is acts of services and physical touch. Like, she has almost no sense of personal space (she really doesn't mean to make him uncomfortable) and if absolutely FLUSTERS poor Mordecai especially when he becomes aware of his feelings after a SLOW burn built up. Thank you so much for the awesome work and keep it up ❤️
Ayo so I actually got like 2 other messages about a Pt.2 to the first Mordecai headcanons, so Im adding this onto that! Again for some reason this murdercat got away from me so its a long boy. I attempted to keep it organized ,, , ,
First order of business, Mitzi ships it.
Back when Atlas bought her that nifty camera, she didn't just take embarrassing photos of Mordecai. She got some pretty cute candid shots of you around the bar, and a kinda-blurry-but-not-too-bad photo of you and Mordecai outside the big cafe window, talking to each other and not aware you were being photographed. It's pretty artsy, if she says so herself. She tucks the photos in Mordecai's desk and directly hands you the silly ones she took of him.
Actually, she clocked your feelings early on, but figured he wasn't interested. Didn't seem like the kind of guy, which is a shame. You're a sweetie. She hadn't seen you both act any different for a long time, so maybe that crush fizzled out? But if you ever bring it up with Mitzi, she's your #1 support. She's gonna set you up nice and give you all sorts of tips that just ... fall flat. Jeez, she knew Mordecai was unapproachable, but is it really going to take this long ...?
Viktor also figured your feelings out (albeit later), but that ain't his business. You had odd taste, though. He thinks it's pretty funny when other people flirt with you and Mordecai's suddenly in a foul mood and doesn't understand why. At least you two aren't hanky panky or anything, eugh, and you keep your heads during firefights. Anytime Viktor tries to bring up the topic (which, granted, is like a grand total of three times), he's so round about and non-direct that you have no idea what he's getting at. Oh well.
(If the idea of you two being a couple is brought up with anyone else, they can scarcely believe it. You? With him? Good luck. Only Atlas seems to see it, though his employee's love lives aren't relevant unless it gets in the way of business.)
Actually, if you're a more exuberant and affectionate type, that just makes people question your taste in him even more. The first few interactions didn't go great - you touched him without thinking, like you do most people, and he flinched so hard it's like you hurt him. Second time he hissed. Right, you got the picture. You became more mindful and considerate of his personal space, that plus an apology goes a long way.
Once you both are more familiar and have more trust, you can put a hand on Mordecai's shoulder or back without him reacting much. You can even squeeze his shoulder if you're trying to be reassuring, or silently warning him. Sometimes you just say "Hey, I'm gonna touch you," and you fix his coat or check a bruise. He lets you get away with more than others because you ask first.
(Sometimes he feels bad for it - you'll rush to hug your friends and you're so happy in their embrace, then you bound over to him and clearly restrain yourself as you touch his arm.)
Eventually you ask for hugs - quick ones! Special occassions only! But sometimes you're obviously distressed so he just. Lets it happen, briefly. If this is before admitting any feelings to each other or even himself, it's brief. If this is many years into this weird sort-of-understanding-relationship thing you both have, he'll quietly hold you while you get your emotions out. It's the least he can do, it really is. Mordecai already feels like he isn't deserving of whatever this is, and moreso if you're clearly someone who needs and wants physical attention and comfort.
But he does try, in his way. He'll reach over and take your hand. He gets used to sitting shoulder to shoulder, your tails brushing each other, or letting you lean on him when you're both exhausted. He actually likes it quite a bit when you slightly lean as you read and he does paperwork. It's nice to have that solid warmth, and comfortable quiet.
Mordecai lives in the main building above the cafe, long after he could afford an apartment. More economical and practical, he reasons. If Atlas needs something, he's right there. When you begin inviting him to dinner at your place, very slowly, he starts lingering afterward. Mordecai tries to make it like it's because it's easier to do numbers there - better lighting, your place is quieter, and so on. Nevermind the warm dinner and the nice fire in the fireplace and some low music on the radio and you reading something while his pencil scratches the paper. It ... really brings up some old thoughts and memories.
You've gotten bits and pieces of his family history during these times, usually after you've shared some of his own first. Clearly he doesn't like talking about it. You don't push it. You just listen to what he volunteers, and thank him for listening to you in kind.
Note, he always goes home, no matter how late it is. You feel like it's one of those lines that'll be tough to cross. Hell, just inviting him over was tough at first. He walked into your living space just fine in the day, when he was waiting to pick you up for a job. There'd be some comments on the dust or some examining of your plants, but nothing odd. When he comes by for dinner, he's initially tense until he settles in, and eventually he's quite at ease. Over the years he brought several plants in because he always heard you're supposed to bring flowers for the host, but flowers die quickly, and besides this variety of ivy is different because --
(You end up with a tidy windowsill of houseplants, and start having to put some on your counters. Mordecai gets flustered and suggests maybe you should get rid of some, and you reply you absolutely won't. When he waits for you to get ready, he checks their water and pulls some dead leaves. Might as well, right?)
As expected, kissing and intimate touches will be slow-going. You start simple: a quick good-bye kiss on the cheek when he leaves your apartment in the evening. The first time, Mordecai's hairs stand on end and his tail poofs up but! He assures you it was fine. He's fine. When the bar's empty and he's heading out, you give a quick 'good luck' kiss before hurrying off. You initiate all of them until one day when you'te both walking to the car, covered in (someone else's) blood and debating something silly, and once there's a lull in the conversation he just. Leans over and kisses you. It's only lasts a few seconds, then he just pulls away, fixes his glasses and trips walks to the car.
You're a bit dazed the rest of the drive and he's just a mess of nerves.
After that you can give him kisses now and again, but he gets flustered easily and it’s definitely a private matter. It's only around Viktor that you can touch and fuss over Mordecai, but that only leads to the old man snorting and the two of them starting to argue. Viktor's pretty damn surprised you're both that close, though. How long has it been that way?
Oh, and then there's drunk Mordecai. Oh boy.
This has only happened like, two times, because he does not drink. Period, the end, close curtain. He knows how he gets and he hates it. It doesn't take much of whatever questionable piss whiskey to get him swaying and seeing double. He'll flop on your shoulder and ramble about you're so wonderful and he's really not sure why you like him, also could you stop moving the room, oh and he's killed a man for you, but nevermind that you're such a darling person --
He's so sloshed. The novelty starts to wear off when he's falling over and you're having to get him home because apparently Viktor did it last time. At least Mordecai's a bean pole. If he's drunk in your apartment, thank god, you can just pull him over to your room so he can sleep it off. He's still going on about who-knows-what while you take off his shoes and coat. What's this about murdering who for you? Whatever, he's probably confused. Probably.
(You sleep on the couch and at 7am sharp you're awakened by a loud THUNK and panicked shouting as he still-drunkedly tries to orient himself and figure out where the hell he is. Hes so humiliated by everything he just avoids you for several days.)
Oh, last thing.
Mordecai will kill someone for you. Period. No questions asked. Viktor would too, yes, but after explaining and questioning and he'd go with you and hide the body. Mordecai just does it. Abusive partner, debt collector, a rival gang member tailing you, whoever - they're done for. He doesn't bring it up until you ask questions.
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The roller skate size theory doesn’t make sense!
Sorry guys but this has been bothering me forever and I finally just had to say it.
In the Hellfire game in s4,ep1 Dustin rolls an 11 which isn’t enough to defeat Vecna which is very obvious foreshadowing that El (Eleven) loses the battle against Vecna at the end of the season. Now, the roll that does defeat Vecna is the 20 and people have come up with the theory that Will’s and Mike’s roller skate sizes (both 10) foreshadow that, *tries to read scribbles on hand*, gay love will defeat Vecna… right.
Love of course plays a huge role in this show and yes s5 is Will centric, yes Will has powers, yes he’s the cure, yes he’ll get the boy, yes him and Mike will be a team next season, yes they’ll have their happy ending, and so on. But there’s actual much better foreshadowing for this than those gymnastics of a theory.
I mean, look at this:
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I do agree that the numbers are of importance! They simply wouldn’t have made them carry the skates with the sizes facing towards the camera like this if those numbers didn’t mean anything because the shoe sizes on their own are obviously very irrelevant. But I do not believe that these numbers are supposed to correlate in any way with the Hellfire game/foreshadow Will defeating Vecna. Simply because…
…all three of them are carrying their skates with the size facing towards the audience. If they actually intended to draw a connection to that victory roll in the Hellfire game they probably would’ve been more direct and have them all carry their skates differently so that only Will’s skates are turned with the size facing towards us, displaying the double 10 aka 20.
…Mike and Will have the same shoe size. And thus this scene actually doesn’t give us a 20 at all, but a 40. Which makes absolutely no sense if this was supposed to be connected to the 20 from the Hellfire game. If they wanted to make that connection it would’ve been so easy to just give Mike a different shoe size so that there’s actually only one double 10 aka only one 20 in this scene to foreshadow Will being the one to defeat Vecna.
…20 is the maximum. You cannot roll a higher number than that, plus if you roll one 20 you do not need another, so if this was supposed to foreshadow the defeat of Vecna Mike and Will would have a 20 each which would actually prohibit them to work as a team and therefore contradict with the actual direct and undeniable foreshadowing that Mike and Will will be a team next season.
You could of course argue that the actual shoe size is a size 10, meaning that Mike and Will have a size 10 each so together they add up to 20 but this is visual story telling and visually, that’s a 40. And that really can’t be ignored. You can’t just bend canon to fit your own theories about what will happen in canon! The roller skate size theory would be very weird and just bad foreshadowing for just Will defeating Vecna, and also for Mike and Will defeating Vecna together which simply leads me to believe that those two things aren’t connected at all.
Instead, I personally think this shot of them carrying the skates is supposed to show that Mike and Will are in the same shoes which is an expression referring to being in the same bad/difficult situation as another person (mostly used like “I wouldn’t want to be in xyz’s shoes right now”). And well, if they both need size 10 roller skates that means their regular shoes are a size 10 as well which just underlines that not only does this apply to just rink-o-mania with Mike and Will both pushing each other away though still paying the most attention to each other, but also their struggles with sexuality.
“In the closet (at rink-o-mania)”? Make way for “In the same shoes (at rink-o-mania)”!
And let’s also not forget that Mike has another shoe-twin this season:
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Yes, none other than Robin “gay gay homosexual gay” Buckley. Whose shoes in s3 actually foreshadowed that she’s gay gay homosexual gay:
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So…. gayshoegate? Anyone?
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thealmightyemprex · 3 months
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Universal Monster watch through thoughts part 1
So I have a 30 film set of Universal Classic Monster movies.What I am gonna do is every five films is share my thoughts,not really reviews but just thoughts
1.Dracula 1931
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The first black and white film I saw as a kid .Its a capital C Classic for sure....But its never been my favorite,and there are many other Dracula adaptations I prefer .I think my big issues are Johnathan and Mina here are just so boring,while some of the silence is eerie I find most of it awkward and the ending just suuuuuuucks,we dont even get to see Dracula's death .That said four things make this film worth while ,one is the gothic vibe is peak here ,then you have Dwight Frye who is a scene stealer as the deranged Renfield,Edward Van Sloan who is a perfect heroic foil to the titular character as Van Helsing and of course Bela Lugosi as one of the most iconic villains ever,mesmerizing ,suave,seductive and yet still eerie .Its got flaws but Its good parts are so good,mainly those three performances
2.Frankenstein 1931
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The movie I say is responsible for me being a horror fan and truly my favorite horror movie .Lets get this out of the way,Boris Karloff delivers one of the greatest performances of the genre ,cause he isnt a big scary monster,hes a lost child in world that fears and hates him .I actually feel this is a good film to show kids,as kids really connect to the plight of the Monster .Karloff is not the only highlight,James Whales direction is superb ,the moments of silence are actually eerie,the film looks gorgeous ,gotta praise JAck Pierces extraordinary makeup and Colin Clive gives a phenominal performance as the obsessed creator .Only thing I am not fond of is the tacked on ending .The opening however is brillaint with Edward Van Sloan warning how scary the film is and his ominous "We warned you "
3.The Mummy (1932 )
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Man I wish I liked this film more then I do.Like its not bad but not a favorite .Theres a lot of good in this movie,cast is good ,Zita Johan is a good leading lady,Edward Van Sloan is always a plus ,and Boris Karloff gives a nice undestated performance as our villain Imhotep ,with some legit frightening shots of his hypnotic glare .Jack Pierces makeup is extraordniary ,the production design is good ,there is some legit shocking pre code stuff like a bunch of guys getting impaled .I also like the angle of it being a dark love story with Imhotep just trying to resurrect his lost love .Also has the scariest scene in a Universal Monster movie so far ,when Imhotep awakens and scares a guy into madness .Unfortunately its slow pace ,David Manners as the Boring Pretty Boy protagonist ,the weak love story between Manners and Zohan ,and the fact that plot wise it is WAY to similar to Dracula hold me back from fully loving it.ITs still good ,I just dont love it
4.The Invisible Man (1933)
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James Whale hits it out of the park again with another great film .Claude Rains gives a powerhouse performance ,which is really impressive cause you dont see him for most of the movie ,hes either just a voice or bandaged up yet he carries the whole film as one of the best villains in all of cinema .The effects for being 91 years old look pretty damn good ,the film has an amazing supportinjg cast including Gloria Stuart ,Henry Travers and ESPECIALLY Una O Connor and to top it all off,the film is HILARIOUS.I mean it folks this film has an amazing sense of humor,from being very witty,eccentric character to examining the absurdity of the premise .One of my favorites
5.The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
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While Frankenstein is MY personal favorite,I TOTALLY get when people say this is the BEST of the Universal Monster movies ,as this is a masterpiece .Also DEFINATELY a queer classic(Happy Pride ) .The performances are great with the stand out being Ernest Thesingers wonderfully comic and camp villain Pretorious (So far my favorite non monster character in these films ) and of course Karloff at his best giving an utterly heartbreaking performance as the monster ,his scenes with the blind man bring a tear to my eye .Thats really the word to describe the film,heartbreaking ,the filmmixes tragedy,horror and humor so experetly .Also Elsa Lanchesters role as the Bride is so brief but is rightfully iconic and the ending is utterly magnificent
Ranking so far
5.Mummy
4.Dracula
3.Invisble Man
2.Frankenstein
1.Bride of Frankenstein
To be continued
@ariel-seagull-wings @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @piterelizabethdevries @countesspetofi @princesssarisa @barbossas-wench @amalthea9
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allwaswell16 · 2 years
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A fic rec of my favorite One Direction roommates fics as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find all my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
-Larry-
Red Brick Heart by hazmesentir / @alveronian
(E, 98k, uni au) Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn't expect is a surprise roommate who's loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he's ever wanted.
There's No Other Place by nikogda / @satvrdays
(E, 51k, hybrid au) the one where Harry offers his home for omega hybrid Louis in a world where his very existence is illegal. It was meant to be temporary, but as time goes on, neither of them want it to be. Too bad things are rarely that simple.
Looking Through You by @allwaswell16
(E, 41k, songfic) As Harry tries to make sense of his feelings for Louis, he begins writing his next album to express them as it may be the only way to break through the walls that Louis has built between them.
All Your Mates Are Here by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup
(T, 36k, werewolves au) A new pack, a new house, and two new roommates with personal space issues... Plus exams, of course.
I Just Want You to Stay by @sadaveniren
(E, 34k, omegaverse) Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change.
Instant Pleasure by @100percentsassy
(E, 25k, uni au) This fic has everything! College Roommates! Mario Kart! Julie Andrews! Demonstrative Pronouns! Flamboyant Dom Louis! Premature Ejaculation! Niall!
it's not a walk in the park to love each other by @maroonmoonlouis
(E, 24k, quarantine au) the one where Harry and Louis are roommates forced to quarantine together, but they hate each other very much a lot.
You're Writing Verses About Me by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings
(T, 23k, fake relationship) Everybody knows that Louis has never been one for serious boyfriends. 
Take Your Time by @laynefaire
(E, 20k, series) When Harry finds himself in the middle of a messy break-up with no place to live, Louis offers a spare room in his flat. 
Tell Me Your Secrets by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes
(E, 17k, phone sex operator au) A For a Good Time Call au where Harry and Louis get off on the wrong foot when they first meet.
Saw It In Your Eyes by @taggiecb
(E, 15k, sexuality crisis au) the one where Harry is an oblivious walnut.
Kings by dolce_piccante / @haydolce
(T, 13k, Marcel au) Marcel receives an invitation to his ten year high school reunion, which brings up some painful memories of his youth. 
Stuck In The Middle With You by green_feelings / @greenfeelings
(T, 11k, fake relationship) When Harry starts university, he finally gets to spend every day with Louis again. They have been friends since forever, and would do anything for each other.
tell me what you want by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci
(M, 10k, pining) Louis, desperately looking for a room, pretends to be straight, thinking it would be easy, until he discovers that Harry likes to be naked at home. 
All I Do the Whole Day Through by @lululawrence
(NR, 6k, omegaverse) But why was Harry using Louis’ clothes and items that probably smelled like him in his nest?
to love you in word and deed by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf
(G, 4k, proposal au) Louis loves everything about living with Harry. Except for Harry's effusive proposals. Because the problem is, it's getting harder and harder for Louis to keep reacting like they're jokes.
Home Remedies by @kingsofeverything
(E, 4k, hiccups fic) Louis’ hiccups just won’t stop. Harry, his roommate and best friend, is willing to do anything to help.
It's a match! by @maggieisalarrie
(G, 1k, friends to lovers) If he swipes right, they simply won’t match and that’s the only way he could ever see this playing out. So against his better judgement, he swipes right.
-Rare Pairs-
Your Lips On Mine by taecheeks
(E, 56k, Zayn/Liam) the one where Zayn is a camboy, who likes to think about the fit mechanic with a liking for leather jackets and scruffy beards from uni during his shows. And Liam, the mechanic, who realizes his new roommate is Bradford, the man with the smooth skin covered in tattoos that Liam watches late at night with a hand wrapped around himself.
(I Was Broke) You Healed Me by @fallinglikethis
(T, 12k, Niall/Harry) Niall Horan is an unmated pregnant omega living on his own after his alpha boyfriend leaves him.
Repeat the Same Routine by twoshipsdrifting / @polkadotlou
(G, 5k, Niall/Zayn) Niall and Zayn are about the least compatible roommates you're going to find - at least that's how Niall feels on his second week of uni getting little to no sleep thanks to his roommate.
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megamind2010 · 4 months
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😰even if nell never admitted his love caseys life was still ruined so you could also say her mindset was proven wrong since the avoidance didnt like... save casey from that. also im pretty sure i remember an AU where casey dies instead? no coherent thoughts about that, just thinking...
oh absolutely shes still stupid its more that her thesis of "love causes misery" was shown to be true LMFAO
she didnt do a very good job at actually avoiding it. her shortsightedness and underestimation of caseys feelings, plus the selfish (to her mind) desire to have casey close to her, means that no matter how you slice it she failed. failed to protect casey from the effects of losing someone AND failed to allow HERSELF to truly experience the joy that comes before grief! because thats the really heartbreaking thing about it all to me, the way nell only focuses on the bad stuff that comes after... yes the grief hurts because there was genuine happiness. but there will always be grief and loss and pain, thats unavoidable, so why cut yourself off from the happiness too? ack. she makes me SICK
casey dies au is really sickening nauseating headache inducing because its a much more direct way that nells mindset ruins caseys life... in this world its worse because umm. arguably it leads to caseys death. on nells side though yeah she is fucked up badly over it but she does have the support of ted and michelle to like, force her to stay with them in a hotel in the short term so they can keep an eye on her and make sure shes eating and sleeping... which nell RESENTS because shes doing exactly what she never wanted to do, being a burden on those around her! (he has no idea that there is a large difference between a young child being forced to become a parent to their younger siblings versus adult friends voluntarily supporting someone they care about) (well he does know that but ummm whatever)
thats why in this au nell takes months to get around to telling spider that casey is dead. michelle offers to call but nell wants to stop feeling like she and ted are doing everything that HE should be doing so he says he can do it, it should be his responsibility, etc etc. and since nell is the only one who actually met spider it makes sense right? coming from someone she at least kind of knows rather than a stranger... but every time nell sits down to make the call he just thinks about how much its going to hurt spider to find out. and how hes already killed casey and has this much grief inside of him so imagine what caseys MOTHER must feel... so he puts it off. and puts it off. until finally he cant put it off anymore but by then its been eight months and not only has he killed her daughter hes also hidden it from her and basically fucked everything up irreparably. oooooooopsy
umm so basically nell if you talked about your feelings and were a little more open and vulnerable maybe bad things wouldnt happen to you. IDIOT
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archer3-13 · 2 years
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Been playing fire emblem echoes: shadows of valentia again in the last few days. on ocassion i go back to em and see how my opinion might reevaluate on old fe games, but heres some general thoughts:
-as this is for enjoyment im playing on normal which is basically just 'nes balance' mode since its the most overarchingly similar to the original nes game.
-on a pretty sharp if casual blitz i can manage to get to and beat grieth and desiaxs fortresses quickly enough. of the two of them celicas side of the map definitely has the uphill battle to contend with throwing more enemies, more promoted enemies, and more importantly more fast enemies at you then alms side which favours defensive enemies.
-it makes some general sense as celicas side gives you a lot more mages then alms side to use but a larger pattern of echoes design philosophy is 'fewer enemies, but much tougher enemies'. and i stand by that statement even with acknowledging cantors and other enemy summoners, because the enemies those units summon are intentionally chaff fodder compared to the main map crops.
-in terms of grinding i really cant stress enough how bad an idea it is to grind every tier out to lvl20 unless you have an efficient grinding system in mind. the games systems actively work against ya going in that direction, and i dont mind that meself cause im very much an all or nothing type on that kinda stuff so the game slapping my wrist on that is more my speed. that said, i think a median can work pretty well, grindin out or atleast holding out until units reach atleast lvl10 for promotions
-next run ill pay more attention to the story, but with a fresh head/perspective on things the snippets i have been watchin again this time do make me realize that a lot of what people attribute to a misfired thematic thread of 'the station of your birth dont matter', more so has to do with narrative tensions and themes of alm and celica being reluctant or hesitant to actually grapple with their destinies/responsibilities. most of the flavour text of village npc commentary on the happening of things for instance reads more so in the light of emphasizing that to me anyways on recent reflection, village people complaining about how worthless the zofian royal family is to celicas face before praising her unaware of the irony, and the teasing of alms secret rigelian heritage fits into that framework a lot more snugly. and as i noted, theres a distinct reluctance on alm and celicas parts when it comes to facing their fates, celicas trip to see mila noted as being a possible way to avoid making a claim to the zofian throne that people probably wouldn't be happy to see and that celica doesn't want to make. and conversely on alms part well he takes on the mantle of leadership in war theres not much thought on his part put into what comes after kicking rigels teeth in, almost a reluctance to do so even evident in how he shys away from the indications of his royal heritage and downplays the peoples desires for him to become the new zofian king/ruler.
-thats just my current wild thoughts on the matter though, but i do think its a better throughline that makes more sense, especially given how often its alluded to in dialogue with characters such as grieth rubbing it in celicas face that he managed to get so powerful under the royal families noses because the royal family gave less then a shit about doing anything about it, similarly as to how desaix could be the most fragrantly evil/self interested piece of shit around without any repercussions.
-love grieths voice acting, i think the VA also does the voice of the brewer gundam pilot in ibos english dub and hes a joy to listen to. plus grieths just kinda fun with his weird lil henchman in general, really reminds me of a hokuto no ken villain.
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ruminate88 · 4 months
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Letting yourself rest and take a break ❤️‍🩹
In this bizarre “healing journey” that I never planned for, thought existed or wanted it to be like this but I’ve sorta had to roll with it. Cognitive dissonance and ruminating have tried to hold me hostage within my mind. Keeping me ping-ponging between thoughts of my past and my ex, Andrew. Is he or isn’t he toxic? Was the whole relationship a lie or not? Did he like me at all or was it truly superficial and about my nudes???
There has been moments I feel crazy sad over him, moments where it’s painful and I almost wanna hide in a hole alone somewhere and then moments where I feel absolutely nothing!! Everywhere I read, it says forgiveness is a process and that so is this “healing journey”. That it all takes time and sometimes you have to take a break and direct your focus on other things… Something I’ve struggled to do because I feel this is all taking too long and I feel so guilty for not just magically getting over the past and letting it all go. Ugh
Remember the tortuous and the hair? The rabbit rushed to win the race, while the turtle was slow and steady…. Ultimately, the rabbit ran out of gas faster and the turtle crossed the finish line with flying colors!! Which one do I want to end up being? Yeah, I feel like life is so short and I don’t wanna waste another second questioning Andrew and dissecting him. Tired of feeling like I go in circles from: sad, angry, numb, etc…. I just want it all to end but what if I’m making more progress than I think?
These past couple months my energy level as plummeted and I beat myself up so bad. Stressing about how little work I’m getting done, how I’m letting things pile up and how I’m just wanting to be left alone. Dreading having places to go but yet when I actually get to these places and see family members, it actually perks me up but soon as I come back home, I wanna do nothing …. 😝❤️‍🩹 This past week I told myself “You have to rest if you went to get better.” And I mean it but I can’t put all this pressure on myself because my stomach can’t handle more stress 💀
In taking time to myself, I’ve felt selfish and guilty. I’ve ALWAYS put other’s needs before mine most of my life. I’ve always cared about everyone else but neglected me because it’s painful. I went from taking care of my grandma who had dementia, to raising my bro’s kids (also babysat for a lot of other families over the years) AND during that time I’m texting all these emotionally abusive men who spun their web of lies in text messages to me. Critical of me in every area of my life. Downplaying my mental health and treating me as if I’m just a beautiful shell with no soul or feelings. Talking dirty to me and abusing my nudes.
Then after that, I jump into marriage with a nice guy who wants to provide for me financially and so I’m stuck in the same old pattern. I bend over backwards to take care of my husband… cook for him, clean for him, make sure he’s happy but I’m still ignoring my own needs as putting myself down. My exes put me down so long that I have believed I’m not worth much. I see this all now.
Idk how hard it is going to be to “take a break” but I think it would be healthy if I could write about other things for a while and even be a little selfish. After all, I have to get a tooth pulled soon and I’m not gonna feel like doing much anyway but there’s gonna be so much going on the next few weekends, I’m already beating myself up like “you have to do A, B & C”…. Plus the consistent thoughts of Andrew that have never went away since the day I met him. I almost think my brain is just been trying to make sense of him but it’s exhausting. Either that, or my brain needs closure or there’s something deeper going on I’ve yet to figure out.
I’ve been able to open up a little bit to my mom-in-law and that’s been both helpful and terrifying. I don’t believe she judges me but I was worried she was gonna misunderstand me “ruminating” and think I don’t love her son… 🥴😩 I didn’t have the guts to tell her that I want to fully embrace and trust her son cuz I mean all these years and he seems genuine but the problem is me. Struggling to get over the past and letting go of guilt and self blame. Thinking I have this failed past. In actuality, my past is teaching me and making me stronger but it’s incredibly painful. Who knew it would all suck this much but what if one day I wake up and I’m a better person and have a deeper understanding of life and love? That would be so cool ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
However, nothing changes over night 🤡 One…….. DAY…… At a TIME 💀❤️‍🩹🔥 Don’t quit and keep going. I’m not the only one who has been through this. Some people have it worse than me I’m sure but not to downplay my experience but to toughen up yet 👍🏻 Resting and no longer putting my own needs off. I can’t keep showing up for people if I lose myself because I refused to heal or get better. ❤️‍🩹 😓 so freakin painful but beauty is pain!!!
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asummersday · 1 year
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@imdefnotvanessa
3. describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic
starting off strong lmfao
uhm.
okay so for oneshots, i'll just come up with an idea and i just kinda go from there, no actual outline or plan. i prefer my fics to have a happy ending, so i do have the end in mind, and its basically just "it ends with comfort and/or cuddles".
honestly, i only come up with a vague idea of what i want to happen and let the fic do its own thing.
for some of my longer works (three-shots or oneshots that go over 10k and have a plot), i'll come up with a mental list of the things i want to happen, no real outlines to worry about there either.
regarding fics with more than 3 chapters: i havent written those since 2020 (which is. wild) so i only have one example for this (since my last longfic was zero outline, just a core concept, "fuck it we ball". i like the energy 16 y/o me brought to the table tbh). what i did for all the ashes in my wake was that i made an outline (just filled with the major plot points in the fic, bullet point style) just to have a general direction to take the fic in.
then i made a chapter by chapter outline (that i update everytime i veer off-track or introduce something i didnt originally intend to add in (*cough* big mama *cough*)). i just jot down the basic things that will happen, how its gonna end, plus some basic notes regarding the progress of the internal + external conflicts. stuff to keep in mind and the such.
(sorry if this one is a bit all over the place, it's hard to really describe my creative process other than just saying "chaos and dozens of sticky notes")
15. how do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?
i've never actually written any smut scene. first, i think i'd be very bad at it, but also i've just never really wanted to write anything smutty.
20. have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?
i DO actually have a common setting for patrol scenes!! i like to set those in warehouses more often than not. not sure why, maybe because it's such a generic bad guy location, or because it's a location that doesn't require too much research. when in doubt on where to set your patrol/fight scene, put em in a warehouse!
other than that, i like to compare my characters feeling dizzy/about to pass out to feeling like they're underwater/everything feels muffled/murky
similarly, when a character wakes up after passing out/being knocked out, i like to write "it was like breaching the surface of a murky pond" or something like that
(i wish i could put more here, im just very bad at noticing my own writing patterns lmao.)
26. which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?
my one and only crackfic ghosts? in front of MY salad? where duke thomas decides the best sibling bonding activity is trying to summon a ghost when he lives in gotham city. this was written in one sitting at 3 in the morning, and you can tell.
here's a little gem from this nonsensical fic:
“So,” Duke said nervously. “Does anyone know how to unsummon a ghost?” Another lamp was knocked off a cabinet and smashed on the ground. Alfred was really not gonna be happy.
55. of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?
hm. for this fandom, my favorite to write for is Leo (i dont think ive been subtle about that LMFAO)
the choice wasn't really swayed by followers or readers, he's just so easy to write for me because i relate to him (and raph) the most, and we share a similar sense of humor which really makes writing internal dialogue and his pov chapters easy for me. and this is especially true for ataimw, but im the oldest and i saw a lot of myself in leo when he was arguing with raph in the movie and i quite literally went "oh so he is EXACTLY like me during arguments"
i do HC leo as the younger twin, so with me being the oldest sibling, you would THINK raph would be easier to write for me but nope!! apparently not!!
(maybe its bc i see leo as having adhd like me and going "i can write that. I CAN WRITE THAT")
thank you for the ask!! <33
get to know your fic writer
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geekinator · 2 years
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Aang: Well, I met with this Guru who was supposed to help me master the Avatar State and control this great power, but to do it I had to let go of someone I love and I just couldn't.
Iroh: Perfection and power are overrated. I think you were very wise to choose happiness and love.
This is a great quote, and I love it, but I have always felt like it doesn’t belong here. I am probably going to get some crap for this, but here goes:
Aang pulled a Luke Skywalker. What’s always bothered me about both of them is that they don’t trust their friends to be ok while they finish becoming the person who can actually save them. They blindly run headlong into a situation and nearly get killed because of it. This is what both Yoda and The Guru are afraid of. Luke and Aang fundamentally misunderstand what “letting go” (or “unlearning what you have learned” in Luke’s case) really means. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, and it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to help people. It means to learn how to care in the right way. If you are not the person you need to be yet, then it’s only going to make things worse. You have to let go of the old you. Letting go of Katara didn’t mean he stopped loving her, it meant he let go of the part of himself that was so focused on her above all else. Aang couldn’t be the Avatar if his center of attention was Katara, and ONLY Katara. Aang didn’t choose love over power or perfection. He chose a myopic view that only included Katara over the ability to actually save her. He was literally moments away from the Avatar state. To drop everything and go to her aid without gaining that ability (because that’s what it is, not power in the sense of having authority over others) was just dumb.
So why do I think Iroh’s quote is misplaced? Because Iroh isn’t stupid. He knows what “power” really is and he knows the difference between the power of the Avatar State and power in the sense of having authority and dictating. What Aang is talking about is clearly the power of the Avatar State, which Iroh has seen in action, and which he knows will be a great asset in the battle against Azula. He knows about the Dai Li. He knows that the odds of them being there is really good, which is another reason the Avatar State would be helpful. He also knows the story of Roku. He knows that Avatars can love and get married and have children. So obviously letting go of someone he loves doesn’t mean what Aang thinks it means, which is that it’s one or the other. Iroh would know that. Telling Aang that he was wise to choose love over power and perfection (this second one feels particularly out of place because Aang didn’t say or indicate anything about perfection, only choosing between the power of the Avatar State and someone he loved, so for Iroh to add that seems really odd to me) only reinforces the idea that Katara is more important than having the ability to actually save her.
Plus, he is always getting after Zuko for running into things without thinking them through, so it’s not like he’s unfamiliar with this line of thinking.
A better piece of advice would have been to help Aang see the big picture. Not specifically, but prod him in the direction of love is important, but if you don’t let yourself become the person you are meant to be, then you aren’t really equipped to help at all.
This is not to say that being selfless is wrong, but being selfless and reckless is a bad combo. It’s all about balance. Giving too much of yourself in the wrong way only leads to disaster.
For Iroh to ignore all of that and jump straight to “love is more important than power” says that he is either not understanding what Aang is telling him (doubtful) or it’s just a moment for the writers to add another piece of Iroh wisdom, however much it does not fit the moment or the characters.
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doppopoppo · 3 years
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|| Uramichi Daily Headcanon ||
|| Warnings: minor sexual harassment ||
|| Uramichi • Shy|F!Reader ||
Clubbing
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*💙
With the music blaring, more than what he was used to, Uramichi got a headache. He didn't even want to come here. He would much prefer their usual restaurant to drink. But Usahara being the annoying fool he is, dragged everyone to some club he frequents. Something about wanting to see the cute bartender. He should’ve just gone home.
Uramichi looked around the table. Utano was beyond drunk and complaining about her boyfriend. Iketeru was up on stage singing. He was drunk but still sounded good. Kumatani was busy trying to get Iketeru down from the stage. Usahara hitting on the bartender. The annoyed and exhausted man was busy smoking his cigarette, hoping he could go home soon.
“Look at those girls.” Uramichi heard Utano speak up, “oogling over Iketeru like that. Just cuz he’s got a nice voice and looks doesn’t mean shit!” He watched her complain and drop her head on the table. Probably crying.
Just as she said, he could see girls of all ages fawning over Iketeru. Some were even cooing at Kumatani, touched by his big brotherly gestures at Iketeru. Just how drunk was everyone tonight? He’ll get Usahara for this later. At least they’re having fun, well, most of them. Uramichi felt pity for Utano, but there was nothing he could do. So, he just gave a simple pat on her head to calm her down as she cried her soul out.
“Um, excuse me.” He heard a soft, meek voice near him.
Uramichi paid no mind. It was probably some conversation he was overhearing. Utano complained to him and wanted to know why her boyfriend still hasn't asked her to marry him. She’s been dropping hints. He felt awkward as he had no answer to it, considering he wasn’t close to either of them. He sighed, he’ll probably leave soon. But he feels bad leaving his friends drunk inside a club.
Uramichi felt a soft tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see a young girl, perhaps no older than 25. She looked to be very shy, a faint blush apparent on her <skin color> cheeks. She wasn’t looking at him either but at her fingers, which she was twiddling. “Um, hi there.” Her blush intensified.
It was the same voice as earlier. So, it belonged to her and it was directed at him. He wasn’t interested in getting with some girl he had just met in the club. “Listen, I’m not a cordial man. Nor am I interested.” He quickly rejected the girl. Plus, she deserves someone better than him anyways. He’s in his 30s already, she’s got time to find someone better or improve herself; unlike him.
“There ya are cutie!” He heard a gruff voice coming towards his table.
Utano had long passed out and his friends were still busy doing what they already were. Why is everyone so social in this club?
He can hear the girl mumbling and, was she shaking?
“Where’d ya go? I turn around an ya gone.” The man came up to the trembling girl.
She clung onto the hem of her dress. “I was looking for a friend.” He could hear the fear in her voice. “I couldn’t find them.” She whispered and turned away from Uramichi.
“‘s okay pretty lady. You’ve got me to keep you company tonight and the bed warm.” His hand slipped up to her waist. A sly and gross smile displayed on his face.
Uramichi saw the young girl flinch. He’s not sure if it’s the drinks rushing through his body, but he quickly got up. “You should lay your grimy hands off people who don’t want it on them.” He glared at the gruff man. “Especially not my girlfriend.” Uramichi wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her away from the man.
A gasp left the girl's mouth when she heard him. She stumbled back and felt his toned chest on her back. Despite smelling like cigarettes and alcohol, he was warm.
Uramichi now understood the situation. She wasn’t trying to hit on him or take him back to her place, vice versa. She was trying to protect herself from some man making inappropriate advancements on her. He didn’t like men like that one bit. The girl in his arms didn’t deserve this, no one did.
He could feel her trembling under his arm, so he pulled her closer. He slightly moved Utano to the side and had the girl sit next to his seat.
“Hey listen! She was the one asking for it!” The man defended his actions. “Dancing on the dance floor and swaying her hips.” He licked his lips.
Uramichi was disgusted.
“She was simply enjoying herself. In no sense was she asking for you, or anyone, to come talk to her.” He glared at the man. “She has me to come back to.” Uramichi smirked.
This was extremely out of character for him, but he couldn’t stand by and let someone get harassed. Not when she came to his table for help as well. The stranger, no longer interested, cursed him out. He knew he’d have no chances of winning in a fight against Uramichi. All those muscles weren’t just for show. He walked away, leaving the tree of them at the table.
“Thank you.” He heard her say behind him.
He was grateful she was unharmed. He gave her a fresh glass of water to cool down from the recent event.
“My name's Y/N.” She put her hand out to shake his. “Mines Uramichi.” He replied.
“Sorry to have bothered you and your girlfriend. You didn’t have to do that.” The girl was afraid to look up at him.
She’s right. He didn’t have to, “but it was the right thing to do. I’m glad you’re safe.” He shook her hands. ‘They’re soft.’ He thought to himself. Especially against his own rough palm. “Also,” he pointed to the passed out Utano, “not my girlfriend. Just a coworker. Out with coworkers after clocking out.” He explained and sat down next to her. She seems to have calmed down.
She made an ‘Ah’ face and apologized for the misunderstanding. She looked at him properly for the first time, ‘He’s handsome.’ she thought to herself. Right as she was about to excuse herself, Uramichi spoke up, “you’re free to stay with us at the table until you leave.” He proposed, “for safety measures.” She took him up on his offer and thanked him for his generosity. He reminded her of an older brother figure.
Usahara came back to their table, confused, yet happy, to see the unfamiliar, pretty girl. Right after him, Iketeru and Kumatani joined their table. They all had questioning looks. Uramichi explained what had happened and the girl kept saying thank you.
Kumatani scolded her for coming to a club alone late at night. Iketeru sang random tunes to lighten up the mood. Usahara attempted to flirt with her but Uramichi glared at him each time. Utano’s still passed out. From what he’s noted, she’s shy but gets along with others with ease. Maybe he’ll hang around a bit longer. It’ll be rude of him to not walk his “girlfriend” back home.
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Author’s Note:
This came out better in my head, I swear! As a manga reader, I like to think Uramichi actually considers his coworkers his friends 🥺 Thank you for the requests so far! I see y’all thirsty for a specific person at the moment aye 👀 they should be up by the end of the week, be on the look out!
Also I wanted to thank you all for the support you have shown me so far 💜 it means a lot and truly does motivate me to continue writing. Feel free to DM me if you want someone to talk about the anime with XD
Enjoy!
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simplyotometrash · 4 years
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Could I request hcs of the brothers reacting to MC asking them to lay on top of them. It’s just sometimes really comforting to have the weight of someone else on me.
I love your writing and I hope life is getting better for you! 💕
MC Asking The Brothers to Lay on Top of Them
Lucifer:
“What?”
You sprung the question on him while he was working on paperwork late at night.
“I just...well...”
“MC, please say what you wish to say. It’s late.” He rubbed his temples but there wasn’t even a hint of frustration or irritation in his voice. He sounded tired but nothing but kindness was direct at you.
“You’ve been working a lot more lately and I’ve been having trouble sleeping and, well, it’s really comforting to feel someone else’s weight.”
The blush on your face made him smile. 
How could he say no to such a face? 
He couldn’t
He turned out his light, now the room dimly illuminated by what light flitted in through the window.
“Well, my dear, your wish is my command. If you’ve been struggling to sleep, you should have said so sooner.”
He was careful when laying on top of you but found a comfortable way to lay soon enough.
It was odd, as usually, you would end up fast asleep on top of him. But he couldn’t deny it also felt nice.
“I suppose I could do this for you more often. All you need to do is is ask me.”
Mammon:
It was the middle of the night. The only reason you even bothered to ask him was because Mammon wasn’t snoring up a storm.
So you knew he wasn’t sleeping.
“W-what? Lay on top of ya? Is this some new kink ya found?”
Of course, you couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction.
You could feel how hot his face was. You loved how easily embarrassed your tsundere was.
“No, silly! Sometimes it’s just nice to have weight on top of me in bed. It helps me feel better and safer.”
Immediately rolls the two of you over to lay on you. You can feel his skin get even hotter against yours.
“D-don’t go makin’ a habit outta this, ya hear? I love ya and all but the Great Mammon ain’t yer weighted blanket!”
Says not to make a habit of it.
He’s the one to make the habit.
Him laying on top of you becomes the norm when you guys get ready for bed. 
There’s something about it that makes him feel...small. But not in a bad way.
It’s like when he is the little spoon.
He feels protected and loved. Nothing can touch him.
But also nothing can get to you without going through him first.
And that makes him feel like he’s protecting his human, even while they sleep.
Levi:
Leviathan.exe has stopped working
System reboot needed
His face is so hot and red you could fry an egg!
“M-MC! Are you sure? I’m a gross otaku, I might not be very comfy to sleep under! A-and I have a weighted blanket, we can use that instead-”
“No, Levi, I want you to lay on me. If you’re okay with that. I liked weighted blankets but it is different when it’s another person.”
It takes some calming down before he goes for it.
And boy oh boy does he like it.
It’s not the most comfortable in his bathtub, though. He knows it’s gotta hurt your back.
So he plushes out his bathtub for sleeping to make it less hard and ensure your back will never hurt!
Besides, laying like that makes it way easier to actually lay together in his tub anyway. It’s such a narrow space.
Sometimes he asks if you can sleep on him instead and instantly understands the comfort it brings you.
Even when it becomes standard practice and asking isn’t needed, Levi’s face is always going to be bright red until he gets settled in for the night.
It also helps force him into a sleep schedule because he loves it so much.
Yeah, he’s okay with this. More than okay.
Satan:
Very little reaction from Satan.
He read about this kind of thing before. He was kinda wanting to ask you to lay on him but you beat him to the punch. 
Mostly because he wanted to test it out.
“Of course I will. If it helps you, I’ll never say no to it.”
The biggest downside of being the one laying on top?
He can’t read to you very easily.
Satan loves reading to you at night, it helps the both of you wind down.
That’s okay, though. He memorizes plenty of stories to tell for the nights that he lays on top of you.
And he has books ready for the nights where the two of you switch.
He has no qualms with this. It actually feels really nice.
He can understand the comfort it brings.
Satan has never felt so warm and calm in his entire life. 
But there will always be nights where he’s likely not going to be there when you go to sleep. So he invents in a heated and weighted blanket. He makes sure that he sleeps with it on him enough to the point it smells of him.
If it can help, even just a little bit, he’s happy.
The sweet boy just wants to do his best for you. He hates when he isn’t there for bed but sometimes it just cannot be helped.
Asmo
No explanation needed with him.
“Of course I will! I’ve been wondering what it’s like to lay on top of you anyway! You’re always laying on me when we sleep or cuddle!”
This man just adores it.
And he’s the smallest of the brothers so he definitely won’t be crushing you under his weight.
He likes it! It feels like he’s being pampered!
It gives you a great chance to play with his hair and he gets to just bury his face against the side of your neck or against your chest.
He actually likes it more when he’s on top of you. Especially when he’s had a bad day.
It makes you feel better and it helps him feel comforted after a long, awful day.
He feels like it’s his sanctuary almost. 
Nothing can touch him but you.
This is completely innocent. He might make suggestive comments but this little habit you two have won’t be tainted.
Unless you’re the one to start it. 
seriously this is just being said because i’m sick of everyone writing asmo as horny 24/7 and nothing else :))))
Beel:
“No.”
“But-”
“No.”
You gotta understand, this is gonna take A LOT of time and working up to get him to even attempt this.
Even then, he will never lay fully on top of you.
The most you’ll get is gonna be him resting between your legs with his head on your chest.
Beel won’t budge on this either.
“I don’t want to hurt you. I’m a big guy, I weigh a lot.”
All of that muscle comes with him being pretty heavy. Also, he’s somewhere over six feet fucking tall, he’s a very physically dense boi.
He will do what he can to help you but nothing will convince him to ever put more weight than necessary on you.
And even then, he doesn’t sleep too well if this goes on overnight because he’s just so worried about accidentally crushing you in his sleep.
I mean, it took a long time to get him to share a bed with you! And he’s still afraid he might roll over and crush you in his sleep!
Just take what you can get. He’s trying his best, he’s just scared.
He’s beefy and sweet and personally would rather you be laying on him where he feels a little more secure in your safety.
When he’s having a day where he just can’t do it, he gives you his jacket.
It’s heavy and warm and smells just like him. It should help, right? 
Asmo said it would be a good alternative so he tries it.
Plus he gets to see you drowning in the fabric of his jacket because no matter how tall you are, his jacket will make you feel small.
The damn thing is baggy even on him!
Belphie:
Pffft
You never even needed to ask him.
You think you got a choice in this one?
Belphie will lay on top of you just because it means you can’t go anywhere unless you can get him to move.
Which means keeping his warm cuddle partner in bed all day.
So words aren’t needed here.
But you do explain it to him one day while you’re just snuggled in bed together. 
“Huh. Makes sense to me.”
He’s so nonchalant about it. But he understands that someone else’s weight can be comforting.
Why do you think he sometimes pulls you on top of him to lay? 
He takes comfort in it. Your warmth and heartbeat and weight remind him that you’re real. You’re alive. And you won’t be leaving him.
Of course, you’ll still be trapped by the Avatar of Sloth so you better eat and take a bathroom break BEFORE you head to the attic or to his room. 
You won’t be moving until he wakes up.
Sometimes you swear he’s not even asleep based on the cheeky smile etched across his face.
You’ll take it, though. It brings both of you comfort
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xjoonchildx · 4 years
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greedy | myg x reader | chapter five: do we look like recruiters to you?
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summary: being a loner has never bothered yoongi until now.  until you.
pairing: yoongi x reader
genre: mafia AU, pining, eventual smut
rating: 18+
word count: 6.7K
notes:  thank you all so much for rolling with the changes to my posting schedule. it’s been a while since i posted an update and i really wanted to give you guys a chapter. plus it makes more sense, in my mind to break it out like this.  in this chapter, you’ll notice that ko starts calling OC “jagiya.” thank you to the korean reader who brought to my attention that my previous nickname for her didn’t fit as well as this one! 
anyway, you guys make me endlessly happy with your feedback on this story. i’d love to hear what you think of this chapter.  beta read by @hobi-gif​ because i would wither away without her analysis. also beta’d by the awesome @btsarmy9593​ who has been so awesome to give me her feedback. thank you to @augustbutwinter​ for the words of encouragement. and of course, the boos @ladyartemesia​ and @untaemedqueen​ pitched in to help me in this journey as well.
Chapter 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | EPILOGUE
*************************
Min Yoongi wakes up with a problem.  Well a few problems, actually.
The first is that he has to pee.
The second is the head-to-toe pain that starts to register the moment his sluggish brain kicks into gear.  He starts from the bottom -- gingerly wiggling his toes, carefully stretching his legs -- and slowly works his way up, taking mental inventory of what hurts and what doesn’t.
A lot of shit is landing on the hurts list right now.
The third problem -- and perhaps the most pressing -- is the problem pressing into his side right now.
Your hair is still damp.
Yoongi noses into it and lies in the quiet for a while, breathing you in while you sleep.  You smell like his shampoo and his soap.  You’re wearing his t-shirt and basketball shorts.  You are covered in him; fitted to him.  Solid and warm and real.
Which brings him to his next problem.  
This is the kind of feeling that’s way too easy to become addicted to.  The kind of feeling that makes you do stupid shit.  Take away the mangled body and the looming safety concerns and this is easily the best morning of his life.
That’s why when you stir and burrow a bit deeper into his side, Yoongi ignores the pain radiating from his sore ribs.  He ignores the way his arm has fallen asleep under you, ignores the intermittent buzzing of his phone from the nightstand warning of missed texts.
He ignores the tiny voice in his head that says don’t get attached to this feeling.
Yoongi ignores everything but you and this because right now, it’s the only thing he wants to think about.
And then he’s drifting off again.
***************************
This time, Yoongi wakes up alone.
The deep steadying breath he takes while he’s trying to work up the nerve to get out of bed hurts like hell.
Everything hurts like hell, actually -- the back of his head where he can feel scrapes left behind by the brick wall, his jaw from where he took that driller to the face.  His knee from where he jammed it into that fucking goon’s stomach.  
But his shoulder is what’s really fucking everything up right now.
He can’t remember telling you where to find the sling or how you got it on.  Can’t remember you positioning his pillows around his injured arm or slipping into bed beside him.  He’d been so fucked up by the pain and the adrenaline withdrawal that he’s pretty sure he blacked out at some point.  
So Yoongi lies there for a minute, trying to piece together what he can remember of last night.  
The memories come back to him blurred and disjointed, out of order.
He remembers feeling like he might vomit when you shoved his shoulder back into place.  Awkwardly accepting your help taking off his jeans so he could shower.  Nearly falling to his knees under the hot water.  Pulling himself together long enough to stash his gun in a drawer when you’d stepped away.
And it’s that last memory that makes his chest go tight.
Last night, hiding his gun seemed like the right thing to do.  A way to keep you separate from the ugliness he normalized a long time ago.  But this morning the half-assed lie of omission makes him feel guilty as hell.  A pathetic attempt to delay the inevitable.  Chewing gum jammed into the crack of a dam.
He has to tell you about that gun.
So he gets to work on dragging his ass out of bed.  It takes him way too damned long to sit upright, way too damned long to slide himself off the edge of the mattress.  Longer than that to slowly limp his way into the bathroom where he pees for what feels like a solid ten minutes.
He’s still rubbing the sleep from his eyes when he spots the bright red toothbrush sitting in the cup on his sink.  
It’s just some cheap throwaway he brought home after his last visit to the dentist -- a long-forgotten backup that’s been stashed in the cabinet under the bathroom counter for months.  But now it’s sitting out in the open, in that cup. Right next to his own blue one.
Yoongi stares at it and scrubs a hand over his face.
And that tiny voice in his head gets a bit louder.
************************
He finds you seated at his piano, bare-faced and hair tousled.  Fingers tracing light patterns across the keys of his custom instrument, gaze taking in all of the tiny details he paid a small fortune for.
He could have stayed there for a while, just appreciating the view had you not caught him staring.
Your dark eyes flick up to find his and Yoongi’s pulse quickens at the warmth in them.  At the soft, shy smile that comes over you just before you clear your throat and lower your eyes back to the keys.
“Beautiful,” you sigh.  
No kidding, Yoongi thinks.
He crosses the room slowly.  Tries his hardest not to limp but the throb in his knee makes that nearly impossible.  Sadness flashes across your face as you watch him sink heavily onto the bench beside you.  
“I can help you, you know,” you admonish softly.
Yoongi shrugs, motioning to the sling.  “You already have.”
He stills when you reach one hand out to brush your fingertips across the redness on his jaw.  You stroke your thumb across his aching cheek and Yoongi leans into the touch, savoring the feeling of your skin against his.
“Yoongi,” you whisper, “I’m so sorry you’re hurt, and -- ” you pause to shake your head sadly,  “-- and I’m so sorry it’s because I put you in this position.”
Yoongi sucks in a deep breath.
He can’t bring himself to tell you that he can’t think straight when he imagines what could have happened if that fucking goon had gotten you alone.  Can’t bring himself to admit out loud that he could have pulled his gun and ended that piece of shit without losing a second of sleep.  
Would have, had you not been there.
“Better me than you, Doc,” he says thickly.  “You made the right call.”
You press a gentle kiss to his throbbing jaw.
“You still mad at me?”
You whisper the words into the shell of Yoongi’s ear and a slow heat builds in his gut.  
“Yeah,” he lies, dropping a kiss on the delicate skin below your jaw.  He ghosts the tip of his nose against the curve of your neck and you shudder under his touch. He’s forced to check himself, leaning back for a few inches of badly-needed space.  
On the bright side, at least his dick isn’t broken, too.
He clears his throat.  “If that guy had brought backup -- ”
“ -- If that guy had brought backup, he’d have been out of the car long before you left his buddy in a pile on the floor,” you interrupt gently.
Yoongi chuckles.  “Just admit you’re terrible at following directions.”
“You happen to have your MRI results around here anywhere? I’d be interested to see what they say about that shoulder.”  
You raise one brow when Yoongi narrows his eyes at you in response.  “No? Well, then I guess I’m not the only one who’s bad at following directions.”
“Guess not,” Yoongi admits with a smile.  
Your turn your attention back to his piano, touch reverent as you slide one hand across the rich black lacquer.  
“When you first walked in, I was going to say something really dumb like do you play?” you admit with a laugh.  “But no one owns something this magnificent unless they have a passion for it.”
“Yeah, I play,” Yoongi murmurs.  “When I have two functioning arms.”
He’d intended to earn a laugh with that tease, but the joke falls flat.  Sadness creeps back into your features.
“Yoongi,” you say quietly, gaze dropping into your lap.  “I honestly don’t know what would have happened to me last night without you.  And all I can think about this morning is why?  Why did you do this for me?”
Fuck, that’s a loaded question.  
If Yoongi had the balls, he’d tell you straight up that he fell for you the moment he laid eyes on you at Songdo .  That you feel like his chance at something more.  But Yoongi doesn’t say any of that.  
Instead, he coughs up a weak white lie.
“We’re both out here flying solo Doc.  We have to look out for each other.  Besides -- ” he tips your chin up with a gentle press of his fingers and finds your dark eyes glassy with unshed tears.  “ -- I have a thing for that smart mouth of yours.”
He earns a tiny smile from you then, just the slightest curve of your lips.  And he’s this close to kissing the soft, sad expression right off your face when that voice in his mind fucks everything up again.
Tell her about the gun.  
The thought is like a bucket of cold water over his head, jarring him from the intimacy of this moment.  Yoongi swallows thickly before opening his mouth to tell you the truth.  But before he can speak, you do.
“I have something of yours,” you say, reaching into the pocket of your borrowed basketball shorts.  Yoongi watches you produce a worn handmade bracelet and holds his palm open to accept it.  “It fell out of your jacket last night,” you explain.
He rubs his thumb over the smooth metal corners of the cross that dangles from aged leather.  It brings back the memory of his baptism -- of the day Mrs. Bak proudly gifted it to him while he was still damp from the ceremony.  It also brings back the memory of last night -- when he’d clutched it between his fingers and sent a silent plea for protection skyward.
It’s been a long time since he’s prayed.  It’s been a long time since he had anything to pray for.
“Are you religious?” you ask softly.
Yoongi shakes his head.  “Honestly? I don’t know.”  A self-conscious heat creeps up his neck.  “Just makes me feel better, I guess.  Is that dumb?”
“No,” you reassure quietly, bringing one warm hand up to cup his cheek.  Yoongi covers your hand with his, laces his fingers in between yours.  “Not dumb at all.”
Tell her about the gun.
“Doc,” Yoongi whispers thickly, “We need to talk about something.”
Your hand falls away from his face and your spine goes stiff with tension and Yoongi almost loses his nerve.
Almost.
“Okay, so I was, uh -- carrying a gun last night,” he starts, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck,  “I carry a gun all the time, actually.  I hid it because I didn’t want to freak you out.”
You say nothing, expression unreadable.  And Yoongi keeps talking.
“But I don’t want to keep things from you,” he says quietly.  “I want you to know exactly who I am. No half-truths.”
Your eyes drop back down to the piano.  You pluck at one of the keys and a somber note rings out, lingers in the air between you before you speak.
“You have a gunshot wound in your back, Yoongi,” you murmur.  “It’s not exactly a leap of logic.  Besides, I already saw your gun.  It was in your drawer last night when I got you a change of clothes.”
Yoongi nods slowly, processing the fact that you’d discovered the gleaming silver piece and hadn’t written him off right away.  You’d still slept in the crook of his arm last night.  You’re still here right now.
“And yeah, maybe it does freak me out a bit,” you admit.  “But after what I saw last night, maybe I can understand a bit, too.”
Yoongi lets go of the breath he’s been holding and takes your hand in his.  Maybe is as good as he could have hoped for at this point.  Maybe is not a dead end.  
“I have something to tell you, too,” you admit after a moment.  “I’m due at the hospital in a few hours.”
“Doc,” Yoongi groans, hand tightening reflexively around yours.  “You can’t go back there.”
“I don’t have a choice,” you insist, pulling away.  “This isn’t just some job I fell into, Yoongi.  This is years of my life.”
Yoongi is quiet for a few seconds, willing his rising agitation to subside.  He’s careful to check his tone before he speaks.
“You’re not safe there.”
“I have to go back.  I don’t have a choice,” you repeat.  “I can’t afford to get blacklisted and Lee is still my boss. And if he’s already got wind of what happened last night, he’s going to be gunning for me even harder than he already has been.  I have to tread carefully.”
Yoongi shoves a hand through his hair.
“You have to meet me in the middle here, Doc,” he exhales.  “There’s got to be something halfway between you walking right back into that hellhole and you losing your job.  Take a couple of sick days.  Give me some time to figure out who your boss is working with and what I can do about it.  Can you do that?”
You’re quiet for a moment as you consider his proposal.
“Yeah,” you concede softly.  “I can do that.”  
You lift a hand to brush a lock of hair out of his face and press your mouth to his.
Every cell in Yoongi’s body stands at attention.  He cards his fingers into the soft mass of your hair and kisses you slowly -- carefully -- all too aware of the way he’d manhandled you last night.  
Not even the pain in his jaw could take away from how good it feels to touch you like this.  Not even the ache in his ribs could stop him from leaning into you. He slips his tongue past your lips and you whimper, fingers curling into his sore knee.  
He could not give a shit.
Yoongi leaves your mouth to trail kisses down your jaw, and you tip your head back, offering him the soft expanse of your neck.  He accepts it gladly, mouth hot and open on your skin, savoring your scent and taste -- enjoying the way he can feel your pulse fluttering wildly under his lips.
He’s enjoying it all so much that he gets careless.  The elbow of his injured arm connects with the sharp edge of the piano and he recoils instantly.
“Dammit,” he groans. “Fuck.”
“Oh, shit,” you gasp, clapping a hand over your mouth.
The pain is so potent it seems to radiate all the way from his arm to his temples. Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut as he waits for the ringing in his ears to subside.
“Yoongi, your shoulder, it's -- it’s really bad,” you admonish quietly.  “If you keep going like this, the damage is going to be permanent.”
“Trust me, I know,” he sighs.  “I’m going to get this looked at, I just haven’t.”
“I want you to see a friend of mine at Asan today,” you urge.  “He’s a good doctor.  He can get you some pain relief.  Get you back to working condition.”
Yoongi nods weakly, pain still ebbing from his arm.
“But it’s not a substitute for an MRI and it’s not a substitute for surgery,” you warn.  “This is just a temporary fix.  You have to be careful.  Whatever you’re planning, just please be careful.”
Yoongi skates the pad of his thumb over your lips before kissing you just one more time.
“Don’t worry about me, Doc,” he murmurs.  “I’m going to have some help.”
**************************
It’s amazing what a pair of high-powered steroid shots and a bottle of industrial-strength painkillers can do for a guy.  
Yoongi pulls into the parking lot at Maekju feeling almost human again.
If the text messages that have been blowing up his phone all afternoon are any indication, everyone is here tonight.  Everyone with the exception of Namjoon, of course.  He doesn’t drink anymore and even when he did, he always preferred to drink alone.
Jungkook is the first person Yoongi spots, leaned up against a pool table, beer in hand.  He’s watching Jimin and Taehyung face off at billiards while Seokjin and Hoseok sit side-by-side at the bar, deep in conversation.
The maknae’s eyes go a bit wide when he takes in Yoongi’s unusual gait and immobilized arm.
“Holy shit, hyung,” he breathes as Yoongi approaches.  “What the hell happened to you?”
Seokjin whips around in his barstool at the sound of Jungkook’s greeting, but Hoseok doesn’t take the bait.  He stiffens in his seat but refuses to turn around. Stubborn bastard.
“Yoga accident,” Yoongi mutters, stepping up to the bar next to Seokjin.  The older man smirks as he takes a long pull of his beer.
“How’d you drive with that thing on?” Seokjin asks, motioning to Yoongi’s sling.
“Carefully,” Yoongi says dryly.  “Listen, can you give me a minute with Jung here?”
Seokjin’s critical gaze bounces back and forth between Yoongi and Hoseok, who is still resolutely pretending not to notice the conversation taking place just inches from his face.  He stares into a television mounted high above the bar and sips his whiskey with feigned indifference.
“You two need couple’s counseling, I swear,” Seokjin groans, rolling his eyes. He stands to his feet to relinquish his barstool and claps a hand over Yoongi’s good shoulder.  “I’ll leave you to it, then.”
Hoseok, the fucking infant, grabs a newspaper abandoned on the bartop and proceeds to pretend to read it.  Yoongi slides into the stool next to him anyway.
“Miss me?”
Hoseok doesn’t answer.
“You’re not gonna say hello?  Not gonna ask me why it looks like I spent all night falling off a cliff?”
“Nope.”
Yoongi waves off the bartender who starts walking in his direction.  The last thing he needs is a drink.  He’s got so many painkillers in his system right now that one sip of booze would probably have him under the bar in seconds.
“Come on Hoseok,” Yoongi sighs.  “Don’t be a dick.  I’ve literally never seen you read a newspaper.”
“I like to stay informed,” Hoseok shrugs.
“Well, I’m trying to talk to you.”
“Oh, so you talk to me now?” Hoseok snickers.  “That’s new.”
Hoseok’s probably earned the right to his petulance, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying.  Yoongi starts to reconsider that drink.
“Jung,” he groans.  “I’m trying to apologize here.”
“So apologize then.”
“Fine,” Yoongi mutters.  “I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole lately.  I’ve been twisted up over some shit that has nothing to do with you or family business.”
Hoseok grabs his whiskey off the bar and finally -- finally -- pivots to face him.
“A giant asshole,” he corrects dryly.  
“Yes. A giant asshole,” Yoongi repeats.  “We good now?”
Hoseok sips his whiskey slowly, eyes narrowed at Yoongi over the lip of his glass.
“Buy me a drink.”
“Fine,” Yoongi hisses, flagging the bartender.  
Hoseok leans back in his barstool, looking a bit smug.
“Now this shit you’ve been twisted up about,” he starts, brow cocked.  “Would this have anything to do with your secret doctor friend?”
“Maybe,” Yoongi admits, scratching at the back of his neck.  His injured shoulder is tired from carrying the extra weight of the sling.  He rolls it gingerly as Hoseok looks on.
“Would this have anything to do with why you look like you got jumped on your way in here tonight?”
Yoongi’s cheeks warm at his partner’s blunt observation.  “Maybe.”
Hoseok drains his whiskey just as the bartender arrives with a fresh one.  He takes a long drink before setting his glass back down on the bar.  His lips purse thoughtfully as he levels Yoongi with a long, assessing look.
“Okay,” he says calmly. “So who do we have to go fuck up?”
**************************
Dr. Lee Geon just looks like a fucking weasel.
Yoongi glares at the man as he strolls into the coffee shop a few blocks from Songdo with just minutes to spare to his shift.  
Lee bears little resemblance to his photos on the hospital website.
He’s thin -- just this side of gaunt -- hollow cheeks prominent below dark under eyes beneath a sparse dusting of greasy hair.  Were he not dressed in a rumpled lab coat and equally creased scrubs, Yoongi might have missed him entirely.
Across the room, Hoseok peers at Yoongi over the top of yet another borrowed newspaper -- is this the guy? -- and Yoongi answers with a furtive nod.  
He goes over the plan they’d worked out in the car in his head.  They’d find the guy -- make sure he was the guy -- and then follow him out of the shop.  Catch him just before he got into his car.  Shake him up a bit before shaking him down for information.
There’s one thing Yoongi still hasn’t worked out, though.
Just how much he’s going to allow himself to hurt this asshole before sending him on his way.  Lee slowly shuffles his way to the front of the line as Yoongi imagines jamming his fist into the man’s stupid fucking face.  Imagines doing it over and over again until the piece of shit is unrecognizable.
Yoongi watches Lee order his drink as he kneads at the tender muscles of his shoulder.
Ditching the sling was probably a bad idea -- definitely against doctor’s orders -- but it was a risk he was more than willing to take.  He’d downed a couple of painkillers and shoved his shoulder into a brace and decided he could deal with the dull throb just for the night.  
No way in hell he was going to confront this scumbag looking like some kid who just fell off his skateboard.  
It doesn’t take long for the barista to put together Lee’s drink.  He grabs his coffee and Yoongi tenses in anticipation of his next move.  But instead of heading for the exit, Lee heads for the bathroom instead.
Yoongi locks eyes with Hoseok across the room and Hoseok raises one brow.
Change of plans?
Yoongi nods.
*****************************
Lee’s coffee sits abandoned atop the sink ledge.
Yoongi and Hoseok slip silently into the bathroom and get right to work.  Hoseok blocks the door as Yoongi quietly creeps past the stalls, ducking his head to peer beneath each one.  Lee’s scuffed sneakers are the only pair of shoes he spots.
His ears pick up on a faint sound coming from inside the locked stall.
It’s a kind of soft, intermittent rasping.  Yoongi concentrates on the noise, isolates it until he comes to the realization that it’s sniffling he’s hearing.  He turns to Hoseok and taps his finger against the side of his nose and Hoseok nods his agreement.
Yoongi shakes his head in disgust.  Is there a single substance this idiot isn’t addicted to?
It takes a moment for the sniffling to subside.  It’s followed by a few seconds of quiet rustling in which Yoongi can picture Lee carefully pocketing whatever’s left of his coke.  The noises from behind the brushed steel barrier finally stop and the next thing Yoongi hears is the distinct clink of the latch coming apart.
Lee swings the door wide -- gets one look at what’s waiting for him on the other side -- and nearly jumps out of his skin.  
He startles so hard that he almost falls backward into the toilet.  But he catches himself, regaining his balance and staring back at Yoongi with wide, worried eyes.
Yoongi stands there and says nothing.
“Excuse me,” Lee mumbles, eyeing him wearily as he tries to slide past.  He takes two steps forward then stops in his tracks when he spots Hoseok.  Lee swallows thickly, eyes darting back and forth between both men.
“Is there a problem gentlemen?” he croaks.
Yoongi takes a step towards Lee.  He shrinks back when Yoongi reaches for his badge, yanking the retractable cord as he pulls it close to examine it.  Yoongi runs his thumb over the raised lettering on the laminated card, letting the taut silence linger for dramatic effect.
Then he lets go of the badge without warning, fighting a smile when Lee flinches as it snaps back into place.
“Yes, we have a problem,” Yoongi confirms pleasantly.  “And yes, it’s you.”
The little color left in Lee’s face immediately drains out.
“Look, I don’t know who you guys are, but you don’t w-want to mess with me,” he stammers, voice cracking comically halfway through his flimsy threat.  “I know people.”
“Oh shit,” Yoongi’s eyes go wide with feigned concern, “You hear that, Jung?  This guy knows people.”
“Sounds scary,” Hoseok chuckles.
Lee starts to breathe harder, chest rising and falling faster.  Pupils blown with fear and coke.
“Now, here’s the difference between you and us, Dr. Lee,” Yoongi explains calmly.  “You know people.  But we -- ” he motions to himself and then to Hoseok, “ -- are people . Do you understand what I’m trying to say here?”
Yoongi punctuates his point by brushing the edge of his open leather jacket aside, allowing his pistol to peek out from underneath.  Lee’s eyes lock on it as he nods slowly, pulling deep, noisy breaths through his nose.
“Great.  Now we don’t have to play the game where you pretend not to know about the bullshit you’ve been pulling over at the hospital, right?”
Lee shakes his head slowly.
“So that means we also don’t have to play the game where you pretend you didn’t send some fucking street goon to rough up a little old lady, either. Right?”
The man’s mouth drops open like his first instinct is to deny that accusation. But he steals another look at Hoseok and shuts it instead.
“And then -- ” Yoongi jabs Lee in the chest with one finger and the man jumps back, “-- you tried to send that same goon after your own resident.  But here’s the thing, Doctor Lee.  She knows people, too.”
Lee’s body goes rigid.  Yoongi watches him process the information with his drug-addled brain, a flare of recognition finally sparking in his dull eyes.
“I saw you at the hospital,” Lee whispers.  “You know her.”
“Don’t worry about who I know,” Yoongi shrugs.  “Worry about what you’re going to say in your resignation letter.”
He advances on the man again, closing the space between them.  Lee tries to back away, but he runs out of room.  He tilts against the stall door.
“Resignation letter?” he echoes weakly.
“The one you’re turning in tonight,” Yoongi explains coolly.  “Before you get the fuck out of Songdo and then get the fuck out of Seoul.”
Lee sputters for a moment, grasping for his next words.  
“Well, where am I supposed to go?” he bleats.
“Do we look like recruiters to you, man?” Hoseok cuts in sharply.  “We don’t give a shit where you go -- you just have to go.  You sure this guy is a doctor, Min?  He seems way too dumb to be a doctor.”
“Nah.  This guy’s a junkie pretending to be a doctor,” Yoongi accuses, dropping any pretense of good humor.  “Pretending to be a tough guy, too.  But all of that ends tonight.”
Yoongi grabs Lee by the chin, jerking his head into place and forcing the trembling man to look him in the eye.
“In ten minutes, you’re going to walk your ass into that hospital.  You’re going to tell them you are leaving.  You are going to take that piece of shit pharmacist and anyone else who’s involved with you.  And then you are never going to step foot in this city again.”
He pauses to enjoy the way Lee’s pupils dilate even wider with fear.
“You’re not too high to understand what I’m saying to you right now, right?”
Lee shakes his head weakly, jaw still pinned in Yoongi’s vice grip.
“Great. Now just one more thing before you go on your merry way,” Yoongi says, voice low with menace.  “Give us the name of your street guys.”
Lee panics.  “I can’t,” he whines from between compressed cheeks.  “They’ll kill me.”
Yoongi grips his face tighter, crushing the man’s jaw and using it to push his body flush against the stall.  His fingers and knuckles turn white with the force of his grasp and Lee groans weakly at the pain.  
“I will kill you,” Yoongi seethes. “Me.  Right fucking now with my bare fucking hands if you don’t give me that name.”
Lee is sweating so profusely that Yoongi wonders briefly if he’s having a heart attack.  He’s probably got enough coke in his system for that to be an actual concern.  But the pathetic little shit manages to pull himself together long enough to follow directions.
“Kkangpae,” he wheezes.
Yoongi’s iron grip stays in place, even as he turns to Hoseok, even as both men exchange a look.  That is something he did not see coming.  Perhaps his recent personal issues are family business, after all.
He finally releases Lee’s jaw and the man rears back, breathing hard.
“You have exactly one day to get the fuck out of this city,” Yoongi instructs quietly.  “And that is not an offer I’m prepared to make twice.”
Lee licks his dry lips, nodding his head slowly like he’s just come out of a trance.  “Okay.”
“Great chat,” Yoongi smiles, patting Lee’s cheek.
Hoseok leaves his post at the door to cross the cramped bathroom and reach for the coffee Lee abandoned minutes ago.  Both men watch in silence as he turns it up over the sink, pours it out, and then tosses it in the trash.
He heads back to the door and holds it open.
“Damn Hoseok,” Yoongi murmurs as he brushes past.  “That was cold.”
*********************************
YOU
There’s buzzing.  Of that, you’re sure.
But in those first few moments that you’re rousing, you can’t be sure if you’re hearing it or dreaming it.  You’re disoriented.  It’s the second time in as many days you’ve woken up in an unfamiliar bed.
Shafts of sunlight pour through the blinds and you squint at them, trying to get a sense of the time of day.  If the amber tinge is any indication, it’s late into the afternoon.
The buzzing sounds again.
You roll to your side to grab your cell phone off the nightstand and blink at a long list of waiting texts.
ko: wake up sleeping beauty [ 11:36 AM ]
ko: i have news [ 11:45 AM ]
ko: big news [ 12:22 PM ]
ko: and gaeran tost-u [ 1:02 PM ]
ko: ready for you to wake up now [ 1:43 PM ]
ko: don’t mind me just gonna bang a few pots and pans [ 2:11 PM ]
Any curiosity over Ko’s big news is overshadowed by the way your heart drops when none of those messages is from Yoongi.  
Before you’d left his apartment, he’d asked you to stay.  He’d cleared his throat and looked down at his hands and explained that he’d feel better if you weren’t alone until this entire mess was settled.  But the way he looked at you in those last few minutes together made you feel like his proposition was about much more than just your protection.
It made you want to say yes.
Never mind that it’s insane to feel so at home in his personal space -- or that coming to that realization might have sent you into a mild panic.  In the end, you’d had to say no because you couldn’t bring yourself to leave Ko on her own while this madness played out.
You rub the sleep out of your eyes and fire off two quick texts.
you: i hope you’re okay. please be careful [ 2:33 PM ]
you: up now. be down in five [ 2:34 PM ]
**************************
Ko makes good on her promise of gaeran tost-u.
You’re greeted by the pleasant smell of the sugared egg dish as you walk down the stairs.  Ko sits at her kitchen table, eyes shining with excitement, and pushes a plate at you when you slide into the chair across from hers.
“Eat,” she orders sweetly.  Your stomach rumbles on cue and you waste no time digging in.
“This is really good,” you declare around a mouthful of bread and eggs.  “I might have to live with you forever.”
Ko smiles wide and the expression makes you feel warm from the inside out. The bruising on her face is barely visible now, easily hidden with a little makeup. Her eyes crinkle with happiness as she watches you eat without saying a word.
“Alright,” you sigh, loathe to stop eating even for as long as it takes to speak.  “Spill it. You look fit to burst.”
“Thought you’d never ask,” she complains cheerfully.  “Dr. Lee is gone.  Walked into Songdo last night and walked out forever.”
You gasp halfway through your next bite, sputtering as you try to catch your breath around a mouthful of toasted bread.  Ko stands to grab you a glass of water which you gratefully accept.
“Well, don’t die on me now,” she teases, “Because there’s more.  Nang left, too.  And Tuan and Beom from pathology.  All four of them quit without even so much as a notice, Jagi.  Isn’t that wild?”
You sip your water slowly and Ko’s eyes flash as she watches you.
“Yoo called me early this morning and said the entire hospital is talking about it. There’s a bunch of crazy theories going around.  And here I am, drinking my tea.  Thinking about how you took a few sick days and showed up here. Thinking about how healthy and rested you look right now.  Isn’t that interesting?”
You nod, jamming the sandwich back in your mouth for an obnoxiously large bite.
“And I can’t help but wonder if there’s some connection between this very convenient development and my very sweet, secretive friend.”
Ko’s mouth twists into a teasing smile as you chew your food absurdly slow.
“That sandwich isn’t going to last forever, Jagi,” she says dryly.  She lifts her teacup to her mouth and takes a dainty sip.  “And trust me, I have nothing but time.”
She leans back, cup in hand.
“Okay, so I might know something about it,” you admit after a while.  “But there’s still a lot I don’t know.  And I’m not sure how much of this you want to hear.”
Ko tuts under her breath.
“I want to hear it all.  I’ve got quite a few years on you and trust me, very little shocks me anymore.  So now you spill it.”
You take another sip of water and clear your throat.
“Okay,” you exhale.  “So there’s this guy -- ”
“ -- Oh, I love it when stories start like this,” Ko interrupts.  She props her chin up with her hands like you’re telling a bedtime story and you shake your head with a wry smile.
“He’s been kind of… helping me, I guess.”
“Helping you,” Ko echoes.  “As in helping you out of your clothes?”
“No,” you deny hotly, cheeks warming.  “He’s a friend.”
Ko doesn’t bother to call you out on the weak lie.  But her face says what her mouth doesn’t when one skeptical brow raises high.
“Go on.”
“I told him about what was going on at the hospital and he said he could help me,” you explain slowly.  “So I’m pretty sure he figured out a way to run off Lee and Nang.”
Ko taps her finger against the side of her teacup.
“So let me see if I have this right,” she muses.  “You tell this friend -- who you’ve never once mentioned, by the way -- that you’ve been having this very dangerous trouble at work.  And then your friend somehow manages to convince two grown men who’ve worked at Songdo for years to give up their high-paying jobs and up-front access to IV drugs overnight.”
You shift uncomfortably in your chair.
“And just like that -- ” Ko snaps her fingers for emphasis, “ -- they’re gone without so much as a fuss.”
You nod weakly.
“Jagi,” Ko’s voice drops low.  “I take it your friend’s not a mailman, is he?”
“No,” you mumble.  “Definitely not.”
Ko hums under her breath.  She carefully lifts her teacup to drink, eyes trained on you over the rim.  Her quiet scrutiny makes you anxious.
“Can I ask you a question?” she asks after a long pause.
“If I said no would that stop you?”
“Not a chance,” Ko laughs.  “Would this friend happen to be the mysterious, handsome man who asked for you in the ER a few weeks back?”
Mind like a steel trap, this woman.  You should have known Ko would make that connection and fast.  There’s no point in denying it, so you don’t.
“Yes,” you whisper thickly. “He is.”
It’s hard to get a read on Ko’s reaction.  Over the years, you’ve come to rely on her sweetness and wisdom and warmth.  But now, as you stare into her dark eyes and try to interpret her careful expression, you realize there’s something else you need from her.
Her approval.
“Ko, I think I -- ” you pause to choose your words carefully, “ -- I think I might be in really deep with this guy.”
Ko snorts.
“Oh, I think you might be right about that, Jagiya .  And if he’s helping you with something like this?  Chances are, you’re not alone.”
“Yeah,” you exhale, wringing your hands together beneath the table.  “Thing is -- I need you to tell me I’m not making a mistake here.”
The corners of Ko’s mouth lift into a soft expression of surprise.
“Oh, Jagi,” she chides sweetly.  “You know I can’t tell you that. I don’t know anything about this man.”  She reaches across the table to cover your hand with her own.  “But you do.  You’re the only one who knows how you feel about him.  And you’re the only one who knows if he’s a good man underneath it all.”
Ko squeezes your hand and you turn your head before she can see the tears that threaten in your eyes.  The amber sunlight outside her kitchen window is shifting orange now, flares of light reflecting off the glass.  
You stare at them and think about Yoongi.
Until now, it’s like you’ve been splitting him into two different men -- the bruised, bloody con artist from the exam room and the quiet, teasing flirt from the coffee shop.  Until now, it’s been the only way to reconcile your complicated feelings.
But it's well past time you accepted the truth.
The same Yoongi whose cheeks had pinked when he’d asked you to stay is the same Yoongi you watched beat the shit out of a hired thug.  The Yoongi who carries a cross is the Yoongi who carries a gun.  They’re two halves of one whole.  
And you can’t pine for one and reject the other.
Your cell phone buzzes from the pocket of your pajama pants.  You reach for it, relief coursing through you when you spot Yoongi’s name on the screen.
yoongi: one more thing to do before we can talk [ 3:01 PM ]
yoongi: it’s cold outside, be sure to bundle up [ 3:01 PM ]
Yoongi’s random mention of the weather confuses you.  You stare at the texts and Ko stares at you, concerned by the baffled expression on your face.
“Is something wrong?”
“No, no,” you insist, shaking your head.  “Just, um -- ”
Bundle up.   A tingle runs up the length of your spine as realization slowly creeps over you.  
“Excuse me for a moment,” you murmur, slipping out of your seat.
Ko watches you dash up the stairs, slack-jawed.
You make a beeline for your borrowed room, throwing open the closet doors to find the coat you’d left hanging there on arrival.  The coat you’d worn to and from Yoongi’s.  You hurriedly dig into the pockets, fingers immediately making contact with something hard and jagged.  
You pull it out.
The shiny silver key in your palm looks like it’s never been used, sharp edges gleaming in the waning sunlight streaming into this room.
You don’t have to guess what it’s for.
You just close your fingers around it and hold it tight.
*****************
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