#plus bonus human lou

[kwillow]

ambroys my boy's swimshorts being as LOW as they could possibly go is hILARUIOUS

THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR NOTICING. I know everyone's focusing on Hyden in that picture, but Ambroys has an, erm, intense sense of confidence as well. He's not the arbiter of good taste he appointed himself as.

[raelyn-dreams]

I know we all joke about the ninja being dumb, but looking at their combined education...it's honestly a wonder that they're functioning this well.

To start off:

Cole: Probably had the most education out of all of them. Canonically went to grade school, before his mother passed and he attended the Marty Oppenheimer School of Performing Arts before running away. Was old enough for the school to not alert his father at least (or check with him, if Cole lied about needing to drop out), so it was either a high school/college/mixture boarding school at the very least.

Jay: Also went to grade school (his s7 comments about History Museum field trips). Assuming Kai, Cole, and Jay are all in their mid-late teens at the series start, he probably also had some form of high school education, plus mechanic/inventor knowledge from Ed & Edna. May have dropped out/already graduated when Wu found him. The only reason he's lower than Cole is that his presumed education past grade school is uncertain.

Zane: Technically, since Zane is a nindroid, he didn't need school. However, we are shown that Dr. Julien built Zane to progressively learn similar to a human in at least some respects, so I'd say Zane was "homeschooled" (if unconventionally). It is shown that flipping off his memory switch did not take away from his learned skills, so Zane is very much educated and capable prior to his nindroid discovery.

Nya: Went to grade school (also s7 History Museum field trip comments), but probably dropped out/did not finish her high school education, due to being in her early/mid-teens when she and Kai joined Wu, and her seeming to run the customer service and financial aspects of Four Weapons. Nya is also a very skilled inventor, mechanic, and pilot, which are most likely skills she picked up from being thrust into independence at a young age.

Lloyd: Was dropped off at Darkley's Boarding School for Bad Boys at a very young age. He ran away multiple times, and was eventually kicked out in Season 1, for "lacking the amoral ambition to become one of tomorrow's masterminds". It's known that not much teaching happened at Darkley's at the time, in favor of lessons in evildoing, so young Lloyd's primary source of education came from the ninja. It can be safely assumed he was tutored to some extent, due to the behavior of his older self, but Lloyd's education was still minimal, at least.

Kai: Kai comes in at the bottom of the list for one simple reason: it's unknown if he ever attended school at all, let alone how much. He doesn't chime in on the s7 History Museum field trip conversation, and due to having been abandoned at a young age, it's possible he had to sacrifice his own education for Nya's. We know Kai took up blacksmithing, which seemed to be the sibling's primary, if only, source of income. He threw himself into his work, and though it seems a bit shoddy in the pilots, he was good enough to reforge the Golden Weapons in s10, showing he did possess at least some skill, if not being downright amazing. Looking into his behavior, mannerisms, and general knowledge on other occasions, Kai comes across to me as someone who maybe completed elementary school, but probably never went higher in favor of keeping Four Weapons afloat and his sister supported.

As a Gifted Kid™, I think it just goes to show that while education is important, it's not the end of the world if you're a bit slow or didn't get to complete yours. The ninja may be barely functioning at times, but they've also saved the realm(s) at least once a season, with or without trigonometry. It depends on your path in life, and as Cole tells Lou, he's decided that he doesn't want to follow in his father's footsteps, but forge his own path.

Also, Bonus:

Morro: Was literally on the street, taking food from trashcans to survive, before he was found by Wu. It can be assumed Wu tutored him in some way, though Morro ran away young, probably around his early-mid teens, judging by his size. He also died young, around the same age as the present-day ninja, so it can be assumed his education probably never surpassed middle school.

Pixal: Was created to be the personal android assistant of Cyrus Borg, becoming the 16th - and final - attempt, after her 15 predecessors failed to work properly. Being an advanced android, Pixal was created with and had access to all the knowledge she would ever need. However, she still had much to learn; particularly, in her social and emotional aspects, and continues to grow. As Zane once said, "She taught me more about being a nindroid, and I like to think I taught her more about being human".

[ao3writers-pls-love-me]

get to know yourself! what your fav colors? hair eyes colors? (fav?)? what's you type of human? do you have regrets if yes can u tell us (optional)? soulmates? three wishes? zodiac sign?

sorry if there are sm questions, but i like ur things very much! stay awesome mate! u've gained a follower <3

(can u giv me a cute solangelo au with ridiculously lots of details pls ty, so that when ure famous, i would be very proud and happy)

hi thank you for the questions

i like red, strong or/and soft green plus blue.

i have black hair with dark brown eyes.

heavy metal enthusiastic pep with black hair&eyes, unrelated, but also into unexpected kinds of stuff like astronomy, architecture, autopsy, creating arson and terrorism in my kitchen.

that's a very good question. a human who can speak and love a lot of languages and is passionate about something they like, bonus if they are smart and randomly over-analyze slow-main-world-building fictions.

yes i do, it involves wattpad, zodiac shippings, 9 yr olds writing romance and end up with reposting anime arts they found pretty and canon with the character. dark time.

soulmates.

money. too much knowledge. good exam scores.

im a Cancer

of course! solangelo soulmate au where you cant feel certain emotions until you meet your soulmate. will doesn’t know how to be happy (cant laugh cant smile, he can fake it but everyone will know) and nico doesn’t know how to be sad (he can cry, but its not natural, he's not gonna feel a thing, it only wetted his face. meaning he cant grief or sad about his mother and bianca's death, he feels empty)

(sike this is actually a one-shot, here u go)

will was going to practicing his guitar with some of his college-band friends like the usual. then this black hair guy unexpectedly joined in out of nowhere, he doesn’t do music, not a member, only friends of will’s bass guy (jason), he sits in a corner, often moving his pencil around, writing, drawing, in his full-of-sticky-notes journal, very quiet. he leaves them alone and they leave him alone.

the guy hangs out with them a lot, keeps minimum talking, works mainly. today just like others, instruments, sketching pencils, the black hair guy's musical voice, probably Italian, too bad he's not a singer, will off-minded thought, the usual.

but today, no so-so. unusual things happen, unfortunately.

when the band's having a break, nico (jason said once), suddenly asked, “what some fancy words can you think of?” jason looks at him immediately, “um...fancy like, what?” nico shrugs, “medical-related”

the member shift their gazes at jason, making him a little on edge, will thumps on his guitar, pitied the guy, “gosh i dont know! uh, crispy....critter?”

“that’s not even fancy”

“well, it’s medical-related. it means......" jails off, jason doing his little dancie-dance, then drops it and says with a stoic face, "sorry i forgot” nico scoffs, rolls his eyes annoyingly. will feels strange things starting in his stomach, he blames them on lou's tomato sandwich.

don't know what drives him, but will calmly says, surprises even himself, "it means you have severe burns on your body"

"oh? i thought it just jace's occasionally kick-the-brain thinking or something, thanks" will had never heard him talk this much in a sentence before, it's quite nice. "see jace, your guitar guy is way more superior than you"

"hey!" nico chuckles, mischievously. he makes will's guitar thumping misses some beats, "great, now he likes you, good luck with that" he doesnt know what's that about, but somehow pleased with it. nico tilts his head, smugs "can't blame me for liking awesome people, jace. what? jealous cause i dont like you just as same?"

nico is full of unexpected things. a moment ago you thought of him as some emo guy with 'dont talk to me' aura, then now you have this charming cool chad that can punch and persuade you its his way to show affection.

nico casually stands up, with a cat-smirk on his face, professionally spins his pencil, then points at their drummer (piper), "pretty drummer. you. next"

"oh ok um, what's that word again. netter, nectar—noctor! it's uh...yeah, same to jason"

"will, can you please?" hearing his name come from nico's lips sound nice but also, rare. he shouldn't get used to it this easily, really, but somehow it's felt natural, a worth spoking fact, "it's a mix between nurse and doctor. nurses who think they are doctors"

"extraordinary. wonderful. fascinating. truly the best. this guy" jason looks at him and nico incredulously, will confusingly looks back at him, "you dont even know if he's right or wrong—" brings a small laugh out of nico, "well i have the wifi password, so joke on you jass"

jason and the gang gape in horror at nico, will too, but he doesn't seem so with his poker face, "wtf nico we've been here way longer than you. Mr.D had us bc my dad forced him to so he hates everything thats involved us, means, you too, but how come you get to be the exception? and you didn't even tell us?"

someone says 'we dont stan'

nico taps unnaturally fast on his phone, "n-o-c-t-o-r, he's right. good job will" and gives him two thumbs up, annoying jason, "if you had a phone this whole time, you could have just googled it, why asked us?"

"jass, you horrible nut-toes! you cant always google things, you have to find true inspirations and stupidity. crispy critter cant suddenly appear in your head and have you searched for it", he has a point. veins pop on jason's forehead, he's massaging his eyes, equally giving up.

wow this nico dude is annoying, and cute, it's unexpected, he's quite the loved-extrovert, "anyways. next. dude with weird satanic stuff on his blue t-shirt."

"for god's sake they are not weird satanic stuff, they are poseidon's symbols! what's s wrong with you? "

"everything, say the word, king"

"butts"

"you're canceled. peasant. disgustingly mushy slice of apple will catch you in your dream tonight" nico spins nicely on his feet, "you. who looks like a sad man that would eat sharpies for attention"

leo, face scrunched up entirely, expressively saying 'i am going to strangle and kiss you', "pregnanc—"

"gods no. straight people. furry mfs" nico sighs, exaggerated, watches the band as if they just broke into his house, only stealing his nuttela jar to eat it with microwaved-pizza, true disappointment, "will, you're my last hope, say the thing"

the thing, he said. will thought a little in his head, weird movements on his mouth, threaten to break, "there's one. it's a type of lung disease, that's caused by inhaling volcanic ash and sand dust"

everyone looks at him expectedly, he tenses a bit at, the attention, especially with nico's burning gaze.

"pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"

"..."

"..."

"...wtf did y—"

"will, dude, what's the gibberish is that...?"

"you 'idnt catch? pneumonoultr-"

"no stop"

and will chuckles gently, half-heartedly, too quiet but still clear as the sky with no clouds.

then when he realized it, he stops, snaps out of it immediately, his eyes blown wide, and he coughs, heavily. something rumbling under his throat, welcome, ticklish, new, strange...refreshing. he couldn't stop, and it spills, continue to spill, more and more, and he has a hard time breathing.

will is laughing now, everyone gawks at him, cracked, shocked, confused, amazed. they have never seen him smile, least laugh.

nico has a misty expression on his face. like a shutdown computer, he's loading. and will finds it funny, gosh, it looks hilarious to him.

will looks up at nico and the other, can't contain his giggles. shoulder shaking, cheek blushing. something blooms in his heart, connected, full, new, loved. it's weird, but not in an unpleasant way, he likes it, adores it, loves it. it's nice, so nice.

whats happening to him, will thought. his cheeks are starting to hurt and his heart is starting to feel vulnerable.

"n-nico? you ok?"

nico's still standing there.

and he slowly, steady, turns his face to will.

then, tears.

too slow. too big. too much. too natural. too clean, tears.

he's crying. nico's crying.

"...w-what's happening to me—?"

[thecreaturecodex]

Goblin Rat

“Rat Man” © Kaiyuan Lou, accessed at his ArtStation here

[Commissioned by @mr-w-rambles​. The goblin rat first appeared in the AD&D Oriental Adventures book, and reappeared in both 2e and 3e. They’re a monster seemingly not based on a genuine yokai, but on Nezumi Otoko, the scheming sidekick from Gegege No Kitaro. This version keeps the LE alignment from D&D, but adds various stench based abilities from Nezumi Otoko. If you want to make goblin rats in your game CN to better fit the manga/anime version, I wholeheartedly support that decision. I did not use the illustration from actual D&D because it is alarmingly racist]

Goblin Rat CR 3 LE Humanoid This ugly humanoid stands shorter than a human, with a wide face studded with sparse whiskers. Their ears and teeth are large, and they have a skinny, naked tail.

Goblin rats are more among the most powerful of goblinoids, augmenting their physical strength with shapechanging. They can transform into a giant rat, and use this ability for increased mobility and to pass unnoticed in human settlements. They feed on meat, fruit and grains in equal measure, but have a weakness for humanoid flesh. Goblin rats are lazy and gluttonous, and they often boss smaller and weaker goblinoids or yokai around into serving them.

The bite of a goblin rat spreads disease, but they prefer to wield two-handed weapons in combat in order to deal maximum damage when fighting. They stink, and can channel that odor into a weapon to gain a momentary advantage in combat. Their society is a violent meritocracy, where the strongest and most cunning members lord over their weaker kin with threats of violence. The most powerful member of a goblin rat clan is called the king, regardless of gender, and usually hoards the best weapons and treasure for themselves.

Like many goblins, they have odd psychological tics—goblin rats fear and hate cats, even ordinary house cats, as much as ordinary goblins fear and hate dogs. Even an especially realistic portrait of a cat hung above a doorway or in a window may persuade a goblin rat to stalk elsewhere.  Rumor says that the whiskers of a goblin rat can be made into a paste that reverses baldness, but this rumor was spread by goblin rats in order to extract money or meat from those that seek them out.

A goblin rat is roughly the height of a dwarf, being between four and five feet tall on average, but much leaner.

Goblin Rat    CR 3 XP 800 LE Medium humanoid (goblin, shapechanger) Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +4 Defense AC 18, touch 13, flat-footed 15 (+3 Dex, +3 armor, +2 natural) hp 22 (3d8+9) Fort +4, Ref +7, Will +0; +4 vs. disease, sickness and nausea effects Defensive Abilities squalid; SR 14 Weakness cat fear Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee greatsword +4 (2d6+3/19-20), bite +2 (1d6+1 plus disease) Ranged composite longbow +5 (1d8+2/x3) Special Attacks foul breath Statistics Str 15, Dex 17, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 8, Cha 10 Base Atk +2; CMB +4; CMD 17 Feats Improved Initiative, Multiattack (B), Stealthy Skills Climb +5, Escape Artist +5, Perception +4, Stealth +12, Swim +2; Racial Modifiers +4 Stealth Languages Common, Goblin SQ change shape (dire rat, beast shape I), martial training, stalker Ecology Environment warm and temperate land Organization solitary, pair, gang (3-6) or pack (7-20 plus 1 rat king of 3rd-5th level) Treasure standard (studded leather, greatsword, composite longbow (+2 pull), other treasure) Special Abilities Cat Fear (Ex) Whenever a goblin rat is within a 30 foot radius of a cat or cat-like creature it can see, it must succeed a Will save (DC 10 + the HD of the cat) or be panicked for 1d4 rounds. On a success, it is shaken for 1 round, and cannot be rendered panicked by that cat for another 24 hours. Disease (Ex) Filth fever; bite—injury; save Fort DC 14; onset 1d3 days; effect 1d3 Dex damage and 1d3 Con damage; cure 2 consecutive saves. A goblin rat inflicts its disease when it bites in its alternate form as well. The save DC is Constitution based. Foul Breath (Ex) Three times per day as a standard action, a goblin rat can belch, creating a 15 foot cone of noxious gas. All creatures in the area must succeed a DC 14 Fortitude save or be sickened for 1d4+1 rounds. The save DC is Constitution based. Martial Training (Ex) A goblin rat is proficient in all simple and martial weapons. Squalid (Ex) A goblin rat gains a +4 racial bonus on all Fortitude saves made against disease and spells or effects that cause sickness or nausea. Stalker (Ex) Perception and Stealth are always class skills for goblin rats.

[mrs-scm-wife]

Who is your favorite god based on personality??

I have to choose one???? But ;-; I love them all? So much? Ah, okay, I’ll try.

Leon: He literally always makes it clear he has eyes only for you. He may be arrogant and sometimes downright mean to others, but for you he lets those walls come down and becomes a puddle of love. Leon is so sweet and caring of you, especially after some “night-ins” and treats you like his queen. He even follows your “goldfish” ways, despite having the power to teleport. Also, he is like a little cub for Karno, and I find that hilarious. The normal dominant Lion is now a small cub. I adore all of this about him, including how he is willing to change his way of thinking for you and puts his complete and utter trust in your hands. ALSO, Leon changes drastically in his own route. He goes from this arrogant, self-centered bastard, to someone understanding (maybe), and caring.

Karno: I joke about Karno all the time being boring and plain, but it doesn’t mean I love him any less. He has this soft dominance aura around him that everyone complies with. Karno loves humans so much and he would do anything to save them. He sounds like that kind of dude who would go to busy, public places and sit and watch others. I don’t think I’d be romantically in love with him, but I would consider him a close friend. Friend-zoned. To me, Karno is that mom friend. He always watches your back, knows many things you probably don’t, and takes care of you even when you don’t know it. Plus, he has this leadership side to him that I really like. In any substory with a group, he is most likely the group leader who helps get things done and stays on top of everyone.

Teorus: Where do I begin?! This dude is childish as heck?! But, that’s the charm in him. He is like a little boy with a crush on a girl in kindergarten. Teorus will get all pouty and sulky when you hang with other boys and then all happy when you talk to him. Teorus has determination when it comes to you, his motivation. Several times I have witnessed him trying to handmake or cook for you even if he doesn’t know the terms of cooking and ends up making Scorpio throw up and Hue pass out from trying his “food.” He’s so adorable, ugh. I can’t help but love his oblivious thinking when it comes to consequences too. This man literally stops time for you just so you can stay in bed with him. It’s cute, but we are sure he will get in trouble for that. Teorus just always wants to please you.

Huedhaut: AHHHH! Dude, we ALL know why we love this man?!?!?! HE IS THE DEFINITION OF SARCASM. A man who is able to tease me with CLEVER and snarky comments is always a bonus point. He is incredibly wise, I mean how else did he get that title, and knows how to deal with people like Leon. Huedhaut is the quiet type in all honesty. He doesn’t talk too much, but he gives you his honest opinions and helps you through whatever your delima is. Slight spoiler ahead, but it’s very vague. Huedhaut would literally do anything for you. He wants to protect you in every possible way. He’s that protective of you. Feeling jealous of her? Noted. Private gallery walk with memories of only you two. Huedhaut just wants you to know how much you mean to him.

Tauxolouve: Boi, he is definitely a refined man. We don’t see much of him sadly, but from what we do see we know he’s definitely a family man. He is so sweet to others and takes teasing quite easily. Yes, he does play around with goddesses a lot, but when he meets you, that all stops. He is thoughtful of how you might see things versus how he sees them as, but never pushes you out of your comfort zone. Lou is pretty carefree when it comes to other things, but he’s serious with you. To be honest, I think he has a very mysterious personality. It seems to me he doesn’t tell you many things. You figure it out on your own. Compared to most of the other gods, he’s mature in his own way since he doesn’t get get flustered by small things, like Scorpio,... but that doesn’t mean he loves you any less.

Aigonorus: This god totally has a laidback, chill, seemingly uncaring personality. He does whatever he wants whenever he wants and doesn’t care for the consequences. However, when it comes to you, he is loving, caring, and eager to make you happy. Although sometimes his lazy nature gets in the way of his job, he always has enough energy to be with you... sometimes. Aigo isn’t rude to you like the other gods are sometimes. In fact, he only wants you to be his pillow, haha, but there’s always more to him than you think. For example, he has a freaking goat. He loves his animals so much, and I love animals, so you can imagine how much connection I have with him. Aigonorus will always love you even if your mind is clouded with dark thoughts of the future. He wants you to be at ease.

Zyglavis: Uptight. That’s his main personality. He is so strict about everything he does. It’s obvious he’s a rule follower and hates breaking the rules for any reason. He has immense respect for the king, no matter how much he plays with him, and argues with the Leon on his attitude toward the king. Zyglavis has top notch manners and will teach you how to act properly. Even if he may seem intimidating and scary, you knew he’s sweet pudding in the inside. When it comes to you, he is willing to break some laws for you to show you how much he loves you and to save you. Did I also mention he has a soft spot for children? Well, he does and it’s the cutest thing you will ever witness. He cares deeply for humans and the heavens. Why else would he work so hard for both of them? Zyglavis is loyal to humans, the King, and you.

Scorpio: One word: tsundere. All of us know it, including Leon. He is harsh, brash, and hurtful with his words and attitude toward others. He is brave when it comes to the King as well. He doesn’t back down from him, ever. Zyglavis is probably the only one that Scorpio publicly shows he respects. Scorpio has little patience with anyone or thing, and he even has a dark side to him that makes him synthesize with children’s pain. He is relentless when he punishes because of this. On the contrast, for you, he is sweet and loving. You are his number one now. Scorpio is still innocent to PDA though, I don’t think that will ever change. But, don’t be fooled, he can still bite when he needs to. I feel like Scorpio can actually be sensitive sometimes because your words and actions can cut him deeply if you say the wrong thing.

Dui: Well... he kind of has two? Dui has a sweet side where he adores absolutely everything you do and is curious about everything you talk about. He can listen to you for hours and never gets bored. Occasionally, he will be pulled into Ikky’s pranks, but he always protects you from them. He can get shy sometimes when you take charge, but he has no shame for PDA. In fact, the gods all think of you as that sickeningly sweet couple. On the other hand, his other personality is more rough, dominant, and confident. Shadow Dui is still caring about you though. He loves you just as much, but he has a harder time being vulnerable around you. He prefers to act tough and even throw in some naughty hints. His attitude is more forceful for the most part, but he looks out for Dui at the same time. Both make sure to care for you though.

Ichthys: This troublemaker is full of pranks. He enjoys seeing others fall for his genius plans and is carefree as ever. I’d say his motto is “YOLO.” It fits him well because he doesn’t think twice before he makes these. He is pretty fearless, in a sense, because he knows what Scorpio and Zyglavis will do to him if he gets caught. When he is with you, he is incredibly adventurous. His creativity is the next level because he can create a whole new world with only a snap of his fingers. Just beware that he can go from a man child to your man in an instant. Ichthys can get real mature when it comes to nighttime fun. Another thing is that he can come off as a peacemaker when he really needs to. He hates leaving people unhappy. Ikky thrives on making people happy by his pranks or adventures he drags them into.

Krioff: I love this man so much. He is so innocent when it comes to women or anything, to be honest. His aloof demeanor is charming to me. He tries to understand what the gods are saying, but his mind isn’t built like theirs. He’s definitely a quiet type with a rough touch. Krioff for sure is an inner softy. He may have a difficult time showing his feelings, but he makes sure to give you what you want. His background really helps you understand his personality a lot more. He’s shameless in some cases though, like making out with you on a worshipping ground. Krioff also cares about his family, despite the obstacles that have raised. He wants to always keep you safe no matter what and even risks his life for you multiple times. He is a hard worker when it comes to making peace with other gods as well.

Partheno: Oh gosh, the beauty god. His personality is twisted, and I like that. He is unpredictable to say the least. Most of his thoughts are in the gutter which makes him such a perv at times. However, he is deeper than that and only you can see how he really is. Partheno is not stuck up like some of the other gods are, and he doesn’t feel the need to act superior either. He was the last character to be released before the creators ended the title, basically, so I hope they show more of his different sides soon. Partheno is always thinking of you. I think he talks about you more than the other gods actually. He is pretty hopeful too and he trusts you a lot? Like, I almost cried in season one because of that ONE CG. You are literally his world. I’m sure the other gods would turn out okay if you didn’t choose him, but not Parthy! He depends on you.

......So, in conclusion, I’m still clueless as to who is my favorite, personality wise.

[libraford]

Have you written any horror? Fictional, I mean, as the glue famine was terrifying to reas as a retail worker

See here’s the thing. 

I’m not much of a genre author. I write a story and then five years later I’ll still be asking myself what shelf it ought to go on. (Holy shit. I’ve been published for five years.)

So if you’re looking for a Scary Story a la King, the answer is no. 

But if you like supernatural stuff with a sense of humor- yeah, I got books. 

A Simple Spell and the Dangers of Online Dating- is a romance novel where a witch falls in love with a witch hunter. You get to watch her scramble, trying to keep her secret from him. Shenanigans include necromancy, murdering someone and stealing their bones, and a single cursed muffin. 

Killer Habit- is book one in a series. Josephine is a Guardian- the mediator between normal humans and the many, many supernatural communities in Pittsburgh. A priest gets decapitated on the full moon? Werewolves, right? Well- the werewolves don’t like that stereotype, not one bit. Plus, you get to learn all about how to sleep in a tree. 

The Cold Snap- Book two in the series. People get lured away from the clubbing district by a mysterious song and then they disappear. Now Josephine has to figure out what the Good Folk are really up to without being called to the dance-floor herself. The story in four perspectives, one of which has some good ol’fashioned werewolf-fuckin’. Bonus: Felix doesn’t really know what a crab sounds like, but no one’s out to correct him any time soon. 

Good, Clean Dirt- Reuben Weller is the worst criminal ever. And when I say that, I don’t mean that he does bad things. I mean that he is literally bad at crime. But the boss needs him to follow around this dude named Lou and get some dirt on him. Little does Reuben know, Lou’s got a big, big secret. And that secret is- he’s a local god. Do recommend if you enjoy stories where the main character gets

hit in the head with a brick 

falls out of a tree

gets set on fire

nearly drowns

gets punched in the face

is handcuffed to a chair. 

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘Donar the Great’ Review

Shadow: "If I upset you back there…" Wednesday: "It wasn’t you. Ghosts from the past."

American Gods serves up its first unequivocal triumph of the season.

There have been good episodes in season two prior to this one, I want to make that clear. But 'Donar the Great' is the first time all year that I haven't been mentally comparing what I'm watching to the previous season at any point. 'Donar the Great' is, as described, great. Really, really great.

We're told a story in two halves. On the one hand, we're told the story of that time back in the late 1930s when Wednesday was known as Al Grimnir and owned a burlesque club in Chicago. On the other we watch as the present day Wednesday and Shadow continue in their attempt to get Wednesday's spear fixed; a quest in which Lou Reed features to a surprising and delightful degree. Sprinkled between these two plotlines we get a few check-ins with Mr. World and New Media, primarily just to remind us that they're still out there.

Since that strand of the episode is the least of the three, let's talk about that one first. Last week I complained a bit about the fact that they wasted a lot of time getting Shadow and Wednesday to the Dwarf-king so that they could get the spear fixed, only to be told that he couldn't do it and they'd have to go see a different dwarf instead. I said then, and stand by the statement, that this was a huge waste of time in the episode that could have been better spent exploring Samedi and Brigitte.

The same is not true of the side scenes with New Media and Mr. World this week, for a couple of reasons. First, they're far briefer, and so they don't feel as intrusive. Second, and more pertinently, they don't promise a plot development and then at the last second announce that they aren't going to do that after all and, 'oops, I guess we'll have to wait till next week, sorry.' Instead, Mr. World, New Media, and that third guy (who I think is supposed to be someone called 'The Caretaker', if IMDb is to be believed) achieve a few small things and then get out of the episode's way.

First, they establish that Mr. World is making tactical strikes in the coming war; a truck driver killed with a hammer, a lobster tank smashed, etc. Speaking of, if those strikes he references actually refer to something specific that I'm not picking up on, could you please mention it in the comments, because I have nothing. Second, they establish that New Media is 'powering up' somehow by rousing her followers in what I think was Japanese, but could be wrong. Why he needs her to do this we don't yet know. Third, they plant the seed that New Media needs more tech support and that the boys in the valley assure Mr. World that their 'new friend' would be ready 'in time.' I'm just going to say what we're all thinking; they're setting up a new version of Technical Boy, hence keeping Bruce Langley around this week in the flashback. I'm OK with that, if it means more Bruce Langley.

As to the burlesque flashbacks, all I can say is that they were wonderful and I want them to do a touring show so I can go see them live every single night. Ian McShane absolutely crushes his role as Al Grimnir, and I'm very surprised to check out his Wikipedia page and find out that he doesn't have any background in Broadway or musical theater, because he owns it. I wouldn't describe his voice as strong in a traditional sense, but it's just dripping with character and what I can only describe as salesmanship. Someone please cast him as Billy Flynn in a revival of Chicago, sooner rather than later.

It was a good decision to go with the name 'Donar,' rather than the more recognized 'Thor' for Odin's son, by the way. Derek Theler absolutely hits it out of the park, playing a very different take on this god, but it was wise of them to do as much as they could not to invite comparisons with Chris Hemsworth, when what they're doing with that particular god is so vastly unrelated to what Marvel is doing.

What they're doing, as you ask, is a really nice riff on the classic 'boy and girl fall in love and plan to run away together to escape the dire circumstances of their lives, but are tragically prevented from doing so by cruel twists of fate.' There are hundreds of examples of this story, but West Side Story and the stage version of Little Shop of Horrors are the first examples that leap to mind.

Fate, in this case being Mr. Wednesday/Al Grimnir/Odin, who reminds us forcefully in this episode that he's an untrustworthy bastard who will do anything to achieve his own goals. His desire for a new source of worship leads him to destroy both his own son and Columbia, whom he seems to be fond of prior to ruining her.

Lastly, we have Wednesday and Shadow giving a eulogy for shopping malls and conning their way into possession of Lou Reed's jacket, as it's the most powerful object in the mall, and Dvalin the dwarf needs power if he's going to fix the runes on Wednesday's spear. One thing the series has been very clear on is that all of the gods' power comes from belief. Wednesday even explicitly says so this week. With that in mind, it makes perfect sense that Lou Reed's jacket would be a source of power. Wednesday's description of Lou Reed's importance is not wrong. The Velvet Underground's first album is often described as, 'It was purchased by 200 people. And every single one of them went out and formed a band that changed the world.' That sentence is true.

As a bonus, the way they get the jacket,'The Bishop Game' con, is described in the novel in conversation, but it's so much better to see it acted out here, particularly with Shadow being part of it instead of just hearing about it.

Quotes:

Wednesday: "Playing dead convincingly is an underrated skill."

Wednesday: "Dies irm, dies illa, Solvet saeclum in favilla. Teste David cum Sibylla." These are the opening lines of the Requiem Mass, and the amount of contempt that Ian McShane manages to put into them is amazing.

Nancy: "Double up on that nipple tape, Ecdysiasts, nobody comin’ her to see your areolas. It’s Donar’s moose knocker that brings all the boys to the yard."

Nancy: "Get yo’ face out the mirror. Get your ass on the stage. I’m gon’ count to seven. And I’m starting at four!"

Wednesday: "What say you, son of Emir? Want to etch my runes?"

Manfred the Nazi: "We’re an organization with American values, and we see those values in you. Strength, confidence, good breeding. Donnie… what’s your last name?" Donar: "I don’t have one."

Donar: "I accept your proposition, fiend of Germany."

Music store guy: "Want to try this puppy on?" Wednesday: "Is Martin Luther a Lutheran?" Music Store Guy: "…Yes…? I have no idea."

Donar: "Humans serve us, not the other way around."

Bits and Pieces:

-- So Columbia was essentially the first 'Goddess of America', based on how America saw itself in the beginning. That's actually more or less true, by the way. Her name was derived from Christopher Columbus, and it's why the Capitol is Washington District of Columbia.

-- Which means that Donar's sin, from Odin's point of view, was falling in love with America instead of siding with him, and by proxy the old countries.

-- It's implied that due to event here Columbia gave in to Technical Boy (then Telephone Boy) and rebranded herself for the war effort, becoming Rosie the Riveter, hence the presence of that poster behind Donar in his room in 1942.

-- One of the interesting threads this season is the way it's making it clear that the stark delineation between new gods and old gods is basically a load of horseshit. Columbia got replaced by a rebranding of a Roman Goddess, Libertas. Telephone Boy is warned here that eventually the telephone won't be the cool new thing, and we see the beginning of his evolution into Technical Boy. All the gods we see are in a constant process of evolving or withering.

-- That said, we're all agreed that immediately after this Columbia went to Frank-N-Furter's castle and hung out until the '70s, right? Because I need these two properties to exist in continuity with one another.

-- Wednesday's burlesque house is very gay friendly, and is openly acknowledged to be so. This confirms that he just enjoys teasing Ifrit and Salim and isn't particularly bothered or surprised by their relationship. But we kind of knew that.

-- Hello, muscly cowboys.

-- It makes sense that a success for the Nazis would actually have been a plus for Wednesday. As the Wagner we hear tonight reminds us, the Nazis were huge into Norse mythology. Wednesday would have been rolling in belief if they'd won.

-- Sindri the dwarf has a curious reaction when he hears Shadow's name, which we never get an explanation for. Are we going to find out why?

-- Both Derek Theler and Laura Bell Bundy brought it and brought it hard as guest stars this week. I'd happily have either or both back any time.

-- Nobody really believes that Donar committed suicide, right? That shot was very carefully framed so that we saw Donar's hand on the barrel of the shotgun, but did not see the stock or the trigger. We're all pretty much assuming Wednesday pulled the trigger, right?

An absolute gem of an episode. It's not quite 'A Prayer for Mad Sweeney,' but it's very, very close.

Hey, it's the little girl from the first Jumanji film.  Yeah, feels creepy now, doesn't it.

Just the tiniest bit under four out of four moose knockers.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[doomedhowell]

The Stranger In The Woods

TITLE: The Stranger In The Woods WORD COUNT: 9,122 GENRE: AU, Fluff SUMMARY: Dan is on his way to his friends house when a storm hits and he gets lost in the middle of the woods where there’s clearly no one around and no way for him to get help. At least, that’s what he thinks until he sees a cabin with lights on inside. Dan had been in a hurry before but after meeting the stranger who lives in the cabin, he might like to stay a bit longer. TRIGGER WARNINGS: swearing, guns

A/N: Thank you so much to the wonderful @alienenthusiast for creating the beautiful art they made. I absolutely love it and it fits so well with the story!

(I’ll post a link whenever they post the art on their blog!)

And also a big thank you to @sparkle129 for stepping in and beta’ing my fic.

So, I really didn’t plan on making this fic super long but somehow it ended up past 9k words but I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out and I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)

Dan should have looked at the weather this morning before he decided to go on a two hour drive to visit his friend. He usually is always one to check the weather in the mornings before he leaves somewhere but today, for some reason, he decided not to as he had been in such a rush to leave for Louise’s house, and now he’s paying for it because it’s raining, or more like storming, outside.

The radio is on with the volume up. Dan hopes this will distract him from the storm. There’s an hour left until he reaches Louise’s house and he’s practically in the middle of nowhere with trees surrounding him.

Honestly, he doesn’t understand why Louise lives so far away from London.

Dan is singing along to the radio loudly when a flash of lightning goes off in the sky, causing Dan to jump, but he doesn’t stop driving. He just wants to get to Louise’s house as fast as he can. He hopes the storm doesn’t last very long because it’s quickly getting crazy outside, and it’s making him nervous.

“You can do this Dan,” Dan whispers as he grips the steering wheel, feeling his nerves kick in.

Dan can feel his heart pounding against his chest, but he tries to ignore it and focuses on driving. “Just don’t pay atten- ah!” Another flash of lightning goes off, scaring the living daylights out of Dan.

Dan quickly tries to stop the breaks but the road is too slippery from the rain, and he ends up turning and driving straight into a tree.

Dan groans as he leans back against his seat, trying to ignore the pain he’s feeling.

“Shit.” He slowly opens his eyes and looks around.

Great, he’s in the middle of absolute nowhere trapped in a storm.

Dan takes a deep breath before reaching over and grabbing his phone. But, of course, it’s dead. Now he can’t even try to contact anyone to come and save him. His car is damaged and he’s got nowhere to go, but he also doesn’t want to wait in this car while it’s storming like crazy outside.

“Fuck it, here we go…” Dan puts his hood up and opens the door, getting out of the car. It’s absolutely pouring raining and he can hear the thunder in the distance. He looks around, and starts walking.

Dan knows he’s going to regret this… but maybe he’ll find something out here, some sort of shelter.

And surprisingly, he does. He’s been walking for about a half an hour and he stumbles upon a cabin.

Dan doesn’t understand why there’s a cabin in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees. It appears to be used by someone as there are lights on inside. Maybe he can crash here for the night.

That is, if the person living there isn’t mad and kills him.

“Fuck, it’s cold,” Dan curses before rushing up on the porch. He knocks on the door a few times before stepping back and waiting, hoping that someone will answer the door and let him in.

Minutes pass, and there’s no answer which leaves Dan disappointed.

Dan sighs and steps off the porch. He looks around, and decides to explore the property. There isn’t much around besides a shed that is unfortunately locked and there’s an old swingset.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Dan jumps and let’s out a scream as soon as he hears the voice. He slowly turns around and his eyes widen when he sees the man in front of him is pointing a gun at him.

“Why are you snooping around my property?” The man asks, stepping closer to Dan.

Dan squeaks, his heart is loudly pounding against his chest and he’s frozen with fear.

Oh God. This is it. This is how I’m going to die, Dan thinks.

“I-I di-didn’t kn-know this was y-you’re pro-property,” Dan stutters.

“Well, it is and you’re trespassing. I should call the police on you,” the man snaps.

“You have a phone? Can I borrow it?” Dan asks, perking up, almost instantly forgetting about the fact that the man in front of him has a gun pointing to his head.

The man furrows his eyebrows. “Why on Earth would I let a stranger borrow my phone?”

Dan sighs, getting slightly annoyed that this stranger is being absolutely no help, though he honestly doesn’t blame him as here Dan is walking around his property. “Look mate, if you’re not going to let me borrow your phone… can you at least tell me a place where I can find a phone? I’m absolutely soaking wet and I don’t want to stay in the rain the entire night,” he snaps.

The man raises his eyebrows as he looks around before looking back at Dan, slightly amused. “Uh, well... do you realize where we are?” He asks, lowering his gun slightly though keeping it tight in his hands. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. There's nothing nearby.”

Dan sighs and shakes his head. “Can I please borrow your phone? I'm sorry for trespassing but I was honestly just looking for some place to crash until the storm ends. I was not planning on stealing anything,” he says.

The man hesitates as he stares at Dan, debating on whether or not he wants to let him borrow the phone. On the plus side, it would be nice to have another human around. It’s been a couple weeks since he’s gone out to the city for anything. And, the man is attractive, which is a bonus for him. “I… guess you could stay.”

Dan’s eyes light up. “Really? Oh my God. Thank you so much!”

“Follow me,” the man says before turning around and leading the way back to the front of the cabin. He walks into the porch and opens the door, holding it open for Dan.

Dan steps onto the porch, under the roof where there’s no rain. Dan shakes his head slightly as his hair is now dripping wet from the rain. He’s still visibly shaking from the freezing cold, and he doesn’t even have a jacket to keep him warm. “Um, my name is Dan…” He hesitates before holding out a hand to the man.

“Nice to meet you. I'm Phil,” he says as he shakes Dan’s hand, before leading him inside.

Dan looks around once they're both inside the cabin. It's not too big but it's big enough. He would think it's a normal home if it wasn't actually a cabin which he finds surprising.

“Um, my phone is over there… beware, it's not one of those fancy phones that you can text on,” Phil says.

“How do you live without texting?” Dan mumbles before walking over and picking up the phone. He examines it for a moment as he’s never used one of these types of phones before. He’s always seen them in movies but never in real life. A phone hanging on the wall? That seems strange to Dan.

After he gets over the fact that the phone doesn’t have any texting or internet stuff, he finally calls Louise and he’s praying that she actually picks up. He is calling from a random phone number so Dan wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t pick up at all. Dan waits a few seconds before Louise finally picks up the phone.

“Hello?” Louise asks, and Dan can tell that she’s slightly nervous.

“Louise? Oh, thank God you picked up!” Dan sighs in relief the second he hears her voice.

“What? Dan, is that you? Where are you? I thought you would be here by now,” Louise says.

“You’ll never believe what happened to me,” Dan says. “I got caught up in the middle of a storm on my way to yours and then my car totally broke down and my phone died so I didn’t have any way to contact you.”

“Wait, how are you contacting me now if your phone died?” Louise asks curiously.

“That’s the other half of the story. I found this cabin in the middle of the woods and some guy lives there-” Dan glances over at Phil, who’s watching him carefully as he stands by the door.

“Dan, why in the world are you talking to strangers in the middle of the woods?” Louise exclaims. “I mean, are you trying to get yourself killed or something? That is totally dangerous and quite stupid. Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to talk to stranger when you were little?”

Dan can’t see her right now, but if he could… he knows that Louise would be shaking her head at him.

“Lou, if he was dangerous… he probably wouldn’t be letting me use his phone,” Dan chuckles.

“So, where are you? I can come get you,” Louise says.

“No, I don’t want you to get stuck in the storm too. It’s raining pretty hard right now and I-” Dan gets cut off as a loud clash of thunder goes off, making both him and Phil jump at the loud noise.

“Dan, I’m worried about you. Should I call the police?” Louise asks worriedly.

“No, Lou. I just wanted to call and tell you where I am. I don’t know when I’ll get to your house but hopefully the rain will stop soon and I’ll call you again before I leave,” Dan says.

“Okay, fine. Just… be careful, okay?” Louise says.

“I promise I will be,” Dan smiles a little.

“Okay, be safe. Bye!” Louise says before hanging up on Dan.

Dan sighs as he hangs the phone up and then looks over at Phil. “Thank, again…”

“Don’t mention it,” Phil shrugs. “So… I assume that you need a place to stay?”

“Just until the rain stops and I can actually leave. Though, my car is broken down…” Dan sighs. “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to get to Louise’s house. It’s not like I can walk there.”

“I can drive you,” Phil offers, walking further into the house.

“You don’t have to do that,” Dan frowns. “You’ve already done enough to help me. Wait, you have a car?”

Phil chuckles. “Of course I have a car. I need to get my food somehow, don’t I?” He says. “I know I’m like in the middle of the woods in complete nowhere but I’m not completely cut off from the rest of the world,”

“What did you expect for me to think?” Dan asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Anyways, you can stay over night and I’ll just drive you to wherever it is you need to be in the morning,” Phil says. “You just have to promise me that you won’t steal anything from me.”

Dan puts his hand up. “Promise,” he says with a chuckle. “Seriously, thank you for doing this.”

“No problem. I haven’t talked to another human in a long time so I guess it’s nice. Are you hungry?” Phil asks as he walks over to the kitchen area. “I haven’t been to the store in a while but I can make soup.”

“Oh no. You don’t have to do that,” Dan shakes his head. “I’m not that hungry any…” He stops when his stomach suddenly grumbles, and his cheeks turn a bright pink.

“I think your stomach is disagreeing with you,” Phil chuckles. “I’ll make some soup.”

“Thank you,” Dan mumbles, feeling slightly embarrassed as he’s already asked enough of Phil. He really doesn’t want to intrude on his home but he also doesn’t want to spend the night out in the rain either.

“You can have a seat on the couch if you want,” Phil tells Dan as he pulls out two bowls.

“Oh, thank you,” Dan says before walking over and sitting down. “You have a lovely home, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Phil smiles. “I worked hard on it. I didn’t build it but… you know.” He chuckles.

“Well, I would be very impressed if you did build it,” Dan says.

Dan sits quietly as Phil makes them dinner. It’s a late dinner, but it’s not either of their faults.

“Did I ever say thank you for not shooting me?” Dan asks as he takes the bowl of soup from Phil.

Phil laughs. “I wasn’t ever actually going to shoot you. I only had the gun out for protection,” he says.

“You really think someone as weak as me would be able to take on someone like you?” Dan asks.

Phil shrugs. “You never know,” he says. “You gotta have some faith in yourself.”

“Well, anyways… like I was saying, thanks,” Dan says, a smile forming on his face. “I never thought I would meet someone as nice as you in the middle of nowhere.”

“Well, I didn’t think a city boy would be snooping around my cabin late at night so we both got surprised,”

“Why did you end up here in a cabin anyways?” Dan asks curiously. “Aren’t you lonely?”

“Not really,” Phil replies with a shrug. “I came here to get away from that stuff. I don’t want to deal with relationships and heartbreaks. It just seems pointless to me. I’m happy out here, and it’s peaceful…”

Dan raises his eyebrows as he stares at Phil curiously. He just met this man but he can tell that he has had quite a few experiences in his life, good and bad. Obviously something had happened that made him move out into the middle of nowhere. Dan has so many questions but he doesn’t want to be annoying.

They just met each other. Dan knows Phil wouldn’t appreciate being hammered with questions about his personal life the same way Dan wouldn’t appreciate it if Phil did the same to him.

“Thank you again for the soup,” Dan says as he places the bowl in the sink.

“No problem. It’s the least I could do after pointing a gun at your head,” Phil says.

Dan is about to reply but he stops when the lights flicker on and off. “What was that?” He asks.

“Don’t worry about that. That happens a lot when it storms,” Phil tells him as he walks over to the sink to place his bowl in it as well. “I knew it was going to storm tonight so I have backup plans.”

“Backup plans for what?” Dan asks nervously as he looks up at Phil.

“In case the electricity goes out, silly,” Phil says before walking back into the living room.

Dan groans. He absolutely hates when the electricity goes out, mostly because he hates being in the dark.

“So,” Dan coughs awkwardly and walks out of the kitchen. “What do you do for fun around here?”

“What do you mean?” Phil asks as he looks up at Dan.

“Well, you don’t have a phone with internet or texting… and it looks like you don’t have a laptop either,”

“But I do have a television,” Phil quickly adds. “I like to read and paint.”

“You paint?” Dan asks with interest, sitting back down next to Phil on the couch. “I’m surprised. I mean,  You don’t really strike me as someone who likes to paint.”

“What? Because I have black hair and an emo haircut?” Phil asks, raising his eyebrows.

“N-No… I didn’t mean it…” Dan’s eyes widen and shakes his head.

“I’m just kidding,” Phil laughs loudly. “You should have seen the look on your face!”

“You’re the worst!” Dan whines, playfully shoving Phil. He jumps as soon as the lights start flickering, and after a few moments of flickering on and off… the lights finally go out. “You have to be kidding me!”

“It’s alright,” Phil says as he stands up from the couch.

“How is this alright?” Dan asks as his breathing picks up. “It’s raining outside and it’s dark!”

Phil rolls his eyes slightly and then he pulls out a couple of candles from his cabinet.

“What… What are you doing?” Dan asks nervously as he watches Phil.

“Lighting the candles,” Phil says as he grabs one of his lighters. He lights three candles and places them all around the cabin so there’s enough light for them to be able to see and walk around.

Dan takes a deep breath once it’s no longer completely dark. “Sorry about that,” he mumbles shyly.

“That’s alright,” Phil says as he looks over at Dan. “So, I only have one bed up in the loft but the couch is pretty comfortable so will you be okay with sleeping on the couch?”

“Of course. I pretty much live on my couch at home so I don’t mind at all,” Dan assures.

“Cool. I have some blankets and pillows that you can have as well,” Phil adds.

“Thank you. Really. Thank you for not making me sleep in my broken down car,” Dan says.

“I’m not a heartless person, Dan,” Phil chuckles. “Besides… it’s nice having someone around. Nobody really comes out here very often so it is nice to talk to someone. I mean, I chose to live out here but it does get lonely every once in awhile.” He shrugs before walking over to the closet and opening it.

“Well, maybe I could give you my number? So, if you do get lonely… you can call me?” Dan suggests.

Phil raises his eyebrows as he looks over at Dan. “Are you flirting with me?”

“No,” Dan laughs. “But you would mind if I were flirting with you?”

Phil goes quiet for a moment before smiling. “I don’t think I’d mind it,” he says.

“So, what I’m getting at is… you’re gay?” Dan asks.

“Wow. Way to be forward,” Phil laughs. “But yes, I am gay.”

“Cool,” Dan says, feeling a little bit relieved. He did think Phil was cute once he realized that Phil wasn’t a totally crazy and insane man that wanted to kill him for trespassing. “That makes two of us.”

Phil pulls out a blanket and two pillows from the cabinet. He walks over over and tosses the blanket on Dan’s head before tossing the two pillows onto the other side of the couch.

“Hey!” Dan laughs and then takes the blanket off his head. “Man, my hair is curly now because of the rain.” He pouts. “And I don’t have my… wait, yes I do! Do you mind if I run out to my car real fast?”

“What for?” Phil asks, raising his eyebrows as he looks down at Dan.

“My bag. It has all of my stuff in it. And, I’ll need clothes if I’m going to stay the night,” Dan says.

“Maybe I should go with you. Just in case anything happens. It is raining pretty hard out there,” Phil walks over to the small window and looks out. “I wouldn’t want anything happening to you.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Okay, mom. I guess you can go with me,” he says.

“Hey, I’m the one with a gun so if anything happens…”

“And what type of things do you think will happen?” Dan asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Uh, I don’t know… there could be a wild animal or a stranger willing to trespass at 7 o’clock at night looking for a place to stay while it storms,” Phil says.

“I guess s- hey! You’re talking about me,” Dan pouts and crosses his arms against his chest.

Phil laughs at him and then shakes his head. “Come on then Curly. Let’s go get your bag,” he says as he grabs his flashlight and walks over to the door. “We better go now before the storm gets even worse.”

Dan blushes at the nickname Phil calls him. Normally he would hate anyone calling him something like that but for some reason when Phil calls him that, it’s kind of endearing. He stands up from the couch and walks over to Phil. He pulls his hood over his head to prepare for the rain. “Let’s go then,” he says.

Phil nods and opens the door first, walking out onto the porch.

Dan sighs before also walking out onto the porch. “I think after tonight… I will have a hatred for rain,”

“Not me,” Phil says. “Because if it weren’t for the rain… I wouldn’t have met you tonight.”

Dan looks over at Phil and smiles, a little surprised to hear him say that.

****

Dan and Phil finally make it to Dan’s car in one piece. Dan had forgotten how far away his car had crashed so it took them a little while to get there. Luckily it wasn’t raining as hard when they got to his car but it was still raining. They were both soaked from walking in the rain for God knows how long.

“I think I have an umbrella in my car too,” Dan tells Phil.

“A little late for an umbrella but I’ll take it,” Phil says.

“Well, I don’t want my clothes to get wet so I’m taking it whether you want it or not,” Dan says.

“Just… hurry up, okay? My clothes are soaked and I’m freezing,” Phil says.

Dan rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything. He walks up to his car and opens his door. He looks around and spots his umbrella in the back seat. He reaches back and grabs it. “Open this while I get my bag please,,” he says as he tosses the umbrella to Phil.

“Okay,” Phil says once he catches the umbrella.

Dan then reaches over and grabs his bag from the passenger’s seat. He waits until Phil has the umbrella opened before pulling his bag out of the car. “Sorry for being a little bossy. The rain has made me moody,”

“That’s alright. I understand,” Phil gives him a reassuring smile.

“Should we head back?” Dan asks, looking up at Phil.

“That would be a good idea,” Phil nods, and puts the umbrella over his and Dan’s head.

Dan smiles and shuts the door, before he starts walking beside Phil.

They walk for about twenty minutes in a comfortable silence before Dan starts hearing leaves crinkle, which causes him to stop walking and look back to make sure nothing was behind him.

“What’s wrong?” Phil asks as he looks over at Dan.

“You didn’t hear that?” Dan asks, looking around nervously.

“Hear… what?” Phil asks, tilting his head slightly.

“I thought I heard something… maybe it’s just my imagin-” Dan jumps when he hears the noise again.

“Oh, that noise,” Phil says when he hears the crinkling as well. He quickly pulls his gun out of his pocket, just in case he needs to protect him and Dan. He looks around as well.

Dan gasps when something comes out from behind one of the trees.

“Oh,” Phil laughs once he realizes what it is. “It’s just a deer!”

“A deer!��� Dan squeaks, stepping closer to Phil and grabbing onto his arm for protection. “What if it attacks us?”

“Oh please Dan. Deer are harmless creatures. They rarely ever attack, at least that’s what I’ve experienced. I’m around them all the time and they’ve never even come close to harming me,” Phil assures him. “Honestly, I’m surprised there’s only one deer. Although, it is storming so maybe that’s why.”

“Well, make it go away!” Dan whines. “I don’t feel safe walking around here with a deer behind me.”

Phil rolls his eyes. “You’re such a baby. Here, hold this-” He hands the umbrella to Dan.

“What are you doing?” Dan asks curiously as he takes the umbrella from Phil.

Phil holds his gun up towards the deer.

Dan gasps once he realizes what Phil’s about to do. “Phil, what are you doing? Don’t kill it!” He exclaims, reaching over to grab the gun from him, but Phil quickly pushes Dan’s hands away before he gets hurt.

Phil smirks, and then he moves his gun over and pulls the trigger.

“Oh my God!” Dan closes his eyes and hears the loud boom, but then nothing happens. He slowly opens one eye and sees the deer running away from them. “Wait… I don’t understand? What the hell just happened?”

“I would never shoot an animal,” Phil says before placing the gun back in his pocket. “I’m an animal lover, and I’d do anything to protect an animal from danger. They’re such innocent creatures, in my opinion.”

“Really? What if the animal was threatening to chew your head off or something?” Dan asks.

Phil chuckles. “There are other options of surviving. I never shoot unless my life is truly in danger,”

“Oh,” Dan blinks a few times. “That’s good to know.”

“Come on, let’s get back to the cabin before you get spooked by anymore deers,” Phil chuckles.

“Hey, don’t make fun of me! I’m just not used to being around all these animals,” Dan complains. “I live in the city where there’s like barely any animals running around like this. Well, technically I live in my comfortable apartment which I barely leave.”

“You need to get out more, City Boy,” Phil shakes his head though there’s a smile on his face.

Dan blushes and starts walking with Phil again.

The more he spends time with Phil, the more he doesn’t want to leave this boy. They just met and he already feels so comfortable around him even though they barely know each other, but Dan wants to get to know him better. Not any of that deep and personal stuff but just… get to know him as a person.

Dan has so much to tell Louise once he finally sees her.

****

After Dan and Phil make it back to the cabin peacefully, they spend the rest of the night chatting and getting to know each other. Dan just loves talking to Phil and learning about all of his life experiences. They have such different lifestyles so it was interesting for Dan to learn about all these things from Phil.

“Well, I’ll be right up there if you need anything-” Phil says as he points up to the loft, where his bed is.

“Alright. Thank you again for letting me stay the night here-”

Phil chuckles. “You don’t have to keep thanking me.” he says.

“I know. But, you’ve been kind to me despite not knowing me and despite me trespassing your property,” Dan says with a light blush. “I’m just glad I didn’t have to spend the night out there in the storm.

“Well, you don’t have to think about that,” Phil smiles. “We’ll leave in the morning whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay, sounds like a plan to me. See you in the morning,” Dan smiles as he looks back at Phil.

Except, Dan and Phil ended up chatting with each other all night once neither of them couldn’t sleep. They talked about Dan being a popular youtuber and what he does for a living and all the experiences he’s had.

They even talked about their favorite TV shows and favorite bands. They had a lot more in common than Dan thought they did but he didn’t mind, it just surprised him considering Phil lived in the middle of nowhere yet he still managed to keep up with popular trends.

Dan managed to get two hours of sleep before he woke again. Phil is already dressed and ready for the day which Dan finds surprising. It usually takes him at least an hour to get out of bed as usually he is checking his social media. He’s a popular youtuber so there’s always something for him to look at on his laptop.

“So, I was thinking…” Dan starts as he stands with Phil in the kitchen.

“About?” Phil asks curiously as he glances over at Dan.

“Maybe I don’t have to leave right away,” Dan says. “Maybe I could… stay a couple of days?”

“What?” Phil asks, a little surprised. “Why would you want to stay here?”

“I don’t know. I just…” It’s because of you, you spoon!

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dan...” Phil says. “You’re pretty new when it comes to being in the woods. I mean… you freaked out over a deer when we were out. Remember?”

“Yes,” Dan pouts and crosses his arms against his chest. “You wouldn’t stop making fun of me last night.”

Phil grins, and then he sighs. “It’s not as easy as it looks. And besides, I have no food…”

“Then we could go to the city and get some. We can stop by Louise’s house and let her know I’m okay,”

“Okay, what’s the real reason you want to stay?” Phil asks, raising his eyebrows.

Dan blushes. “There is no real reason. What do you mean?” He asks.

Phil chuckles once he sees Dan’s cheeks turn bright pink. “You’re cute,” he says.

“I’m not cute!” Dan argues. “I’m a manly-man. Sports and stuff… uh, football!”

Phil snorts. “Okay, Dan. You go ahead and tell yourself that,” he says, laughing loudly.

“See? I make great company,” Dan grins. “Come on. Let me stay for a couple days. I won’t be a bother unless you need help with anything. You even said it yourself that you get lonely sometimes.”

Phil stares at Dan for a few moments. “Okay, fine-” He sighs in defeat.

Dan smiles even wider. “Really?” He asks excitedly.

“But only for a couple of days. You actually have a life to get back to,” Phil says.

“Okay, okay. But… we still have to go back into the city, and I want to stop by my apartment,” Dan says.

“Anything else?” Phil asks, raising his eyebrows at Dan.

“I don’t think… hey!” Dan exclaims, playfully glaring at Phil. “You’re the worst.”

“I know,” Phil grins. “Let’s get going then. I don’t want to be stuck in traffic all day.”

“Okay. Lead the way, Sir,” Dan jokes before following Phil out of the cabin.

Dan and Phil stop by Louise’s first, so Dan can let her know that he’s fine as he knows she was worrying.

“Dan! I’m so happy to see you!” Louise exclaims as she pulls Dan into a hug.

Dan laughs as he hugs Louise back. “Lou! I can’t breathe!”

“Oh, I’m sorry-” Louise quickly pulls away and smiles at Dan. “I was just so worried about you. I mean… you told me that you were staying in the middle of the woods with some strange man who-”

“Louise, this is the strange man I was staying with-” Dan points to Phil and chuckles.

Louise’s eyes widen as soon as she sees Phil standing there. “Who was talking about a strange man? What?” She coughs awkwardly. “Uh, nice to meet you…?”

“Phil,” Phil says. “My name is Phil. Nice to meet you, strange woman.”

Louise blushes. “So, you’re not some sort of serial killer, are you?” She asks.

Phil chuckles and shakes his head. “I know that I live in the middle of nowhere but I promise I’m not a serial killer. I mean… Dan’s still alive so that should tell you something,” he says.

“Although you did point a gun to my head for a brief moment, remember?” Dan adds.

“What else was I supposed to do when a stranger was trespassing?” Phil asks.

Dan sticks his tongue out at Phil and then looks over at Louise. “Anyways. See? I’m alive,” he says.

“Brilliant. Are you coming in? Darcy has been so excited to see you,” she says.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m staying. I’m going to stay with Phil for a little while longer,” Dan says.

“What? Why?” Louise asks. “I mean… no offensive. I’m sure you’re lovely.”

“Louise,” Dan laughs at her. “Phil’s nice. Don’t worry about it. I promise. I just… I want to spend more time in the woods. It’s kind of cool when it’s not storming so hard. Phil will look after me.”

“But, I thought that we were gonna spend the weekend together?” Louise pouts. “It’s already Saturday and we missed so much of our plans. We missed the wine night last night!”

“I know but I promise I’ll come back after I’m done at Phil’s,” Dan says. “And we’ll have wine night then.”

Louise sighs in defeat, and then looks over at Phil. “You better bring him back in one piece,” she warns.

“I promise I will. I will not let anything happen to Dan,” Phil tells her.

“Tell Darcy I said hi, okay? I promise I’ll come back in a few days and make up for missing everything,” Dan says. He hugs Louise and says goodbye to her before leaving with Phil.

“She was… nice?” Phil says as they walk back to Phil’s car.

“She is nice. She just wasn’t expecting me to bring the guy who lives in the middle of nowhere with me,” Dan says. “I’m sure you two would get along once she gets past the general shock.”

“You know, you’re starting to make me sound more and more like a serial killer or something,” Phil chuckles as he looks over at Dan. “I’m not saying you are… it’s just funny.”

Dan blushes as he looks over at Phil. “I’m not meaning to. It’s just the situation,” he claims.

“I know,” Phil laughs. “So, where are we going next?”

“My apartment. I need to get a few things and I kind of need to shower,” Dan tells him.

“You have a shower?” Phil’s ears perk up and he looks over at Dan. “Do you mind if I take a shower? It’s okay if you say no but it’s just… it’s been so long since I’ve showered in a real shower. Living in the woods is great and all but the shower I have is not great at all. It’s actually the worst.”

“Okay. I don’t mind at all but… you’re gonna have to borrow some of my clothes,” Dan replies with a shrug.

Dan and Phil decide to go shopping first so Phil can buy some new clothes so he wouldn’t have to borrow any of Dan’s clothes, and they also bought some groceries as Phil had started running low at his cabin.

“Nice place,” Phil says once they get to Dan’s apartment.

“Thanks. It’s not the greatest apartment ever but… it’s home,” Dan grins as he looks over at Phil. “I’m gonna take a shower first so you can just chill out in the living room and watch TV. I shouldn’t take that long really.” He smiles at Phil before heading to his bedroom to grab some clothes.

Phil sighs quietly as he looks around Dan’s apartment. He feels slightly weird and uncomfortable being in an apartment like this after living in his cabin for so long, and he much prefers his cabin.

Phil hesitates before sitting down on the couch and grabbing the remote to turn on the TV. He puts on the news to see if there was anything about the storm from last night.

Dan is gone for about twenty minutes before he finally comes back into the living room, dressed and freshly cleaned as well as his hair straightened.

Phil looks over and raises his eyebrows when he sees Dan. “Wow, you look so different with straight hair,”

“Yeah… I get that a lot from my friends,” Dan chuckles.

“It must take you ages to straighten your hair,” Phil says as he looks at Dan curiously.

“Okay, enough about my hair!” Dan laughs. “I just need to grab a few things and then we can go, okay?”

Phil shrugs. “Yeah, sure. Take your time. I’m in no hurry,” he replies with a shrug.

“But we do have groceries in the car and we wouldn’t want anything to melt,” Dan reminds Phil.

“That’s very true, so maybe don’t take too long,” Phil says.

Dan smiles and then he rushes back to his room to grab a few things. He can’t believe he’s actually going to be staying at a cabin with someone he hardly knows. Some people, like Louise, might call him crazy but he can’t help but want to stay with Phil longer. Dan did get to know him overnight and Phil isn’t a weirdo, nor is he a serial killer. If he was, Dan would probably already be dead by now.

Dan and Phil finally make it back to Phil’s cabin. Dan helps Phil bring in the groceries and helps him put away everything. It’s the least he could do. Phil is letting him stay in his cabin for a few days.

“God, it feels so nice to have food in my fridge again,” Phil chuckles as he shuts the fridge door.

“How did you survive that long without food?” Dan asks, grinning as he looks over at Phil.

“Normally I don’t really go that long,” Phil replies as he looks back at Dan. “Good thing you came along and gave me a reason to actually go out into the city. But, a boy needs to eat.”

“How come you don’t like going into the city?” Dan asks curiously.

“Long story,” Phil mumbles before shrugging. “A lot has happened.”

“I’ve got all the time in the world. You wanna talk?” Dan asks. “I’m a good listener.”

Phil thought for a moment before he finally shakes his head. “Maybe later but not right now. I just really don’t want to get into it but I will definitely keep your offer in mind. How about we pop some popcorn and put a movie in? Or find something on Netflix?” He suggests as a smile forms across his face.

“A movie and popcorn, this early?” Dan asks, raising his eyebrows. “It’s hardly past 5pm.”

“It’s never too early for popcorn and a movie!” Phil defends playfully.

“Okay then, a popcorn and movie it is. What movie should we watch?” Dan asks, chuckling.

“I’ve got quite the collection of DVDs over there on the shelf. You can look through them if you want. Anything is fine with me,” Phil tells him as he points to the shelf he has in the corner of the cabin.

“Okay,” Dan smiles and walks over to the shelf and starts looking through the DVDs.

“So, you said you were a, uh… youtuber?” Phil asks curiously.

“Mhm,” Dan says as he looks over at Phil. “What about it?”

“Aren’t you worried about making a video?” Phil asks. “Like, don’t you have a schedule?”

“I used to but… not so much anymore. I find that uploading whenever I want to is much better for me. Like, it’s too much pressure to have a schedule, especially when I don’t have anything for a video planned out. You know, I used to get anxiety and have panic attacks over not uploading a video on time. But now, it’s much better and honestly I think my audience likes it too. I mean, I don’t upload as much as I used to but I’m happier with my videos now,” Dan explains.

Phil smiles as he listens to Dan. “That’s good. I can understand how having a schedule is stressful,” he says. “I’d like to look at your videos sometimes, if that’s okay with you?” He asks.

“Of course. I’d love to know what you think of them,” Dan grins.

“I’ve never known someone who actually makes youtube videos. Of course, I watch a lot of them…”

“What youtubers do you watch? There are quite a few of them in London,” Dan says, looking at the DVDs.

“I think I recognize Louise. I watch a few British youtubers. Zoella, Jack and Dean, PJ…”

“All of my friends. That’s cool,” Dan smiles, and then he reaches over and pulls out a DVD from the shelf. “How about we watch Jurassic Park? I haven’t seen this movie in forever.”

“That’s a great choice,” Phil smiles and then he stands up. “I love that movie as a child.”

“That’s a weird movie to love as a child,” Dan laughs.

“I can make a whole list of reasons of why I was a weird kid. You wouldn’t believe,”

“That makes two of us,” Dan grins. Dan agrees to make the popcorn while Phil gets the movie started.

And this continued to happen for the next week or so. Dan didn’t want to leave. He wasn’t too much fun hanging out with Phil. He never knew it could be so fun living out in the woods in a small cabin.

It was strange to Dan because he’d known this man for less than two weeks but he felt like they’d been best friends since they were little kids. Dan already knew so much about Phil. They could talk about anything together and Phil would understand Dan and not judge him for anything.

Dan knew he was falling for Phil fast but he couldn’t help himself.

“Dan,” Phil says one night, looking over at Dan, who’s sleepily sitting next to him on the couch.

“Hm?” Dan blinks a few times as he looks up at Phil tiredly.

“I love having you here but�� don’t you think you should be getting back home? I mean… people are probably starting to wonder where you disappeared off too. Your family?”

“I don’t live with my family. We hardly ever see each other anyways,” Dan shrugs.

“But, what about your youtube thing?” Phil asks. “It’s been like three months since you last made a video,” Phil says. “I’m not saying that I want you to leave or anything but you do have a life in the city.”

“The city is boring. I live by myself and there’s no one to talk to ever,” Dan pouts and rests his head on Phil’s shoulder. “It’s nice having someone to talk to. You actually like the same things that I like and actually get along with each other. I don’t want to go home. Please don’t make me go.”

“You’re so cute,” Phil says as he wraps an arm around Dan. “You should go home though.”

Dan pouts. “But, how will I stay in touch with you?” He asks, looking up at Phil.

“Well…” Phil sighs softly. “I could go out and get a phone. An actual phone.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind calling you but you’d probably get sick of me,” Dan giggles. “You don’t have to get a phone if you don’t want to but I would like to be able to talk to you again.”

Phil chuckles. “Don’t worry, Dan, I’ll get a cell phone. Just for you,” he says. “Although I wouldn’t mind talking to you on the phone every day. You have a pretty voice.”

Dan blushes and looks down at his hands. “Thanks,” he says shyly.

“When do you think will be a good time for you to leave?” Phil asks.

“I guess I could leave tomorrow morning. After breakfast?” Dan suggests.

“That’s early,” Phil pouts. “But whatever time is best for you.”

“I don’t want to leave,” Dan whines once more as he snuggles closer to Phil.

Phil smiles fondly as he looks down at the curly haired boy in his arms. “I don’t want you to leave either but you actually have a life outside of the woods. You have a career and friends…”

“Do you think you’ll ever move back to the city?” Dan asks.

“Probably not. I don’t like the city life,” Phil sighs. “Too many people.”

Dan looks up at Phil for a few seconds before slowly pushing himself up. “Did someone hurt you?”

“What?” Phil asks, instantly looking over at Dan. “Why would you ask that?”

“I-I’m sorry, Phil. It’s just… whenever you talk about the city, you always talk about how much people are in the city. So, I-I was just wondering if maybe someone hurt you,” Dan bites his lip nervously.

Phil takes a deep breath. “Yes, someone did hurt me but I really don’t want to talk about it,” he snaps.

“I’m sorry. I… I’m sorry,” Dan looks down at his hands.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. You were only asking a question,” Phil whispers.

“It’s okay. Let’s just forget I ever mentioned it, yeah?” Dan glances up at Phil.

“Sounds good to me,” Phil chuckles. “What movie did you want to watch next?”

The rest of the night, Dan and Phil stayed cuddled up on the couch together watching movies and eating popcorn. It had become their tradition ever since Dan started staying with Phil.

Phil actually didn’t want Dan to leave, but he also didn’t want to keep him from living his life. They’ve become really close and Phil really liked Dan. He had hoped on asking Dan to be his boyfriend which is surprising because Phil hasn’t been with anybody in over ten years, since he moved out of the city. He had a hard time trusting boys after his last boyfriend. But, Dan is different.

Dan is sweet and kind and innocent. He has a big heart, and Phil loves that about Dan.

Maybe one day Phil will ask Dan to be his boyfriend. Just… not right now.

@DanielHowell: finally heading home today after being away for a couple weeks. london… here i come

“Are you tweeting already?” Phil asks tiredly as he walks into the kitchen. “It’s not even ten.”

“Shut up,” Dan pouts. “I have to keep my followers updated.”

“Well, yeah… but what is there to tweet about at ten o’clock in the morning?” Phil asks.

Dan laughs. “Oh Phil. I have so much to teach you about,” he says.

“Shut up,” Phil says, mimicking Dan and sticking his tongue out at him. “You got everything ready?”

“Yeah. Everything’s already packed. Are you sure you want me to leave?” Dan asks, frowning.

“I don’t want you to leave, but you kind of have to. You can’t do your video stuff here,” Phil says.

“That would be weird… wouldn’t it?” Dan asks, chuckling.

“How long has it been since you’ve uploaded? A month you said?” Phil asks teasingly.

“Stop bullying me!” Dan whines, pushing Phil playfully. “I hate you.”

“Aw, that’s not true!” Phil grins and then he engulfs Dan in a big bear hug. “You love me.”

“Ew, that’s gay,” Dan jokes as he playfully shoves Phil off of him.

Phil laughs loudly. “Oh, whatever. You’re such a dork. Come on, let’s get your stuff in the car,” he says, gently poking Dan before walking out of the kitchen to help Dan with his stuff.

Dan pouts, and reluctantly follows Phil out of the kitchen. He grabs his packed bag. “I don’t want to leave.”

“Dan,” Phil looks over at Dan and frowns. “You keep doing that and I’m not going to let you leave.”

Dan’s eyes light up instantly. “Okay. I don’t wanna-”

“I wasn’t being serious,” Phil giggles. “Come on-” He gently grabs Dan and drags him out of the kitchen.

“Ugh. It’s going to be so weird living by myself again,” Dan sighs as he tosses his bag into Phil’s car.

“I’ll tell you what,” Phil begins as he turns and looks at Dan with a serious look on his face. “If you ever get lonely. Like, really lonely. I’ll come to London and visit you. If you want me to, that is.”

“Really?” Dan asks as his eyes light up once again. “Of course I’ll want you to visit me!”

“Okay, then I will,” Phil replies with a grin. “And, I’ll be watching out for you online now that I know all of your YouTube stuff. I want to get one of those fancy phones. Like, the one you have.”

“An iPhone?” Dan chuckles and holds up his phone. “You and your limitless knowledge of technology.”

“I’ve lived in the woods for ten years!” Phil defends, pouting.

Dan giggles and gets into the car. “Okay, but we need to stop and get coffee…”

“Of course we do,” Phil says before also getting into the car.

Dan and Phil finally make it to London. They stop at Starbucks first before making it to Dan’s apartment.

“You'll call me, right?” Dan asks as he stands with Phil outside his apartment door. He feels like crying but that would be a silly thing to do. He wouldn't want to embarrass himself in front of Phil.

“Yes, of course. As soon as I get a new phone that allows me to text and do all that other fancy stuff that your phone does, I will call you and then you can call me whenever you want to!” Phil assures him. “And, this won't be the last time we see each other, I promise.”

Dan pouts and then he quickly wraps his arms around Phil, hugging him tightly. “If you ever need someone to annoy you again, you know where I'll be at. Like, you literally know where I live,” he says.

Phil laughs as he hugs Dan back. “I'll make sure to remember that,” he says.

Dan finally yet reluctantly pulls away from the hug. “You better get going before traffic starts getting bad. Trust me when I say you do not want to get caught in London traffic.”

Phil grins and nods. “Believe me, I know,” he says. “I'll call you later to let you know I've made it home. Bye Dan! Thanks again for keeping me coming the past few weeks!” He waves at Dan as he walks off the steps, and walks back to his car. He gives Dan one last time before getting into his car and driving off.

Dan smiles as he watches Phil and then he sighs sadly once he no longer sees Phil in sight,  and then he bends down and grabs his bag and walks into the apartment. He turns on the lights and looks around.

Everything is different without Phil around.

Everything is… lonely, and Dan doesn't like it one bit. Who is he going to talk to now? Sure, he’s always got his few youtuber friends and his followers online but it’s not the same.

Phil is the only one who truly understands him and that’s why they got along so well together.

But, it didn't take long for Dan to get used to his old schedule again.

Dan has already made two videos since being back in his apartment and it’s only been about two weeks. He’s already filmed and uploaded one of the two videos. He needed something to do to keep his mind off of Phil because if he thought about Phil he would get sad and depressed because he missed him so much, even though they spoke to each other every day now that Phil has an actual phone.

Now, Dan is doing a live stream after uploading the first video.

“What’s up, you guys?” Dan greets as he gets situated on his couch and places his laptop on the coffee table. “This is weird. Haven’t done one of these in a while. “Sorry I disappeared for a little bit. I was um, visiting a friend outside of London. I stayed longer than I planned too. But, now I’m back.”

It was a couple minutes later when Dan receives a text from Phil, letting him know that he was watching.

“Wow, my friend is watching. The one I mentioned earlier,” Dan grins as he looks at the laptop. “Hi Phil!”

Dan laughs as he watches the chat suddenly go crazy. “You guys. He’s a friend. We’re not dating. Relax,” he says. “Besides, Phil lives too far away. Well, not really… but, you know what I mean!”

From Phil:

To Dan:

rude :(

Dan looks down at the text that he had gotten from Phil and giggles before sticking his tongue out. “Shut up Phil, I’m trying to live stream and you’re distracting me!”

Dan live streamed for about forty five minutes before he finally ends his live show. He talks on the phone with Phil for about an hour. And once he hangs up, he’s sad again.

It’s been a few week already since Dan’s last seen Phil and even though they text each other every day, he still misses his presence. He doesn’t know why, he just wants to be around Phil all the time.

And so the next day, Dan packed a bag and headed out of London once again.

It’s late by the time he makes it to Phil’s cabin and once again, it’s raining. Dan’s soaked and tired but he doesn’t care because he’s seconds away from seeing Phil again. He didn’t even warn Phil he was coming.

“Fucking rain,” Dan shivers as he walks onto the porch. He knocks on the door and takes a step back. He would be a lot more nervous and excited if it wasn’t for the bloody rain.

The door finally opens, revealing a very confused Phil.

Phil looks up and gasps when he realizes that it’s Dan who had knocked on his door. “Dan?”

Dan looks up and gives a shy smile. “I-I didn’t mean to show up like this. B-But I…”

“Oh my God-” Phil shakes his head and pulls Dan into a tight hug before pulling him inside. “You’re crazy!”

“Some might say,” Dan says, looking over at Phil. “But I needed to see you again.”

Phil rushes to the bathroom and grabs a towel and quickly wraps the towel around Dan. “But… why didn’t you just call me or something? I told you I’d come visit you again if you really wanted me to.”

“I didn’t want to call you again. I wanted to see you, physically,” Dan says.

Phil stops and looks at Dan, and a smile forms on his face. “God, I’ve missed you,” he whispers before hugging Dan again. “It hasn’t been the same since you’ve left. I’ve missed having someone to talk to.”

Dan laughs as he hugs Phil back. “I’ve felt the exact same way,” he mumbles.

The hug lasts for a few more moments before Phil finally pulls away. He looks down at Dan and takes a deep breath before slowly leaning down to kiss him, it’s a sweet yet passionate kiss.

“Phil,” Dan whispers once the kiss ends. “I…”

“I’m sorry,” Phil says quickly. “I’ve just… I’ve wanted to do that for so long. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, you big spoon-” Dan laughs and pulls Phil down for another kiss.

Phil smiles. “Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting my night to end like this… but I’m so glad it did,”

“I couldn’t go another day without seeing you,” Dan says. “I never want to be apart from you again.”

Phil grins. “That’s good, because I never want to be apart from you again either,”

Dan never intended to meet Phil. He never intended to get stuck in the middle of nowhere during a storm.

But he’s so glad he did because now he’s met his best friend, and now boyfriend.

[rafaelthompson]

No Filter Virtual Coffee Fest Showcases the U.S. Southeast Roasting Community

Everyone is invited to tune in for engaging topics by roasters across Georgia, North Carolina, and South Carolina—and win prizes.

BY KATRINA YENTCH BARISTA MAGAZINE ONLINE

Feature photo courtesy of No Filter Coffee Festival

As the flyer asks, “What else are you gonna do?” You’re in your sweatpants, picking up random hobbies, and baking loaves of sourdough and banana bread to consume—why not tune in to a coffee festival at the same time? The No Filter Coffee Fest has been working hard to put together a colorful array of American Southeast-based coffee roasters for a virtual weekend of coffee classes, roaster demos, and giveaways!

The No Filter Virtual Coffee Festival (formerly known as POUR) sold out its first two years. Photo by Elli McGuire Photography.

The No Filter Virtual Coffee Festival (formerly known as POUR Festival) comes from the minds of Diana Mnatsakanyan and Matt Dudley, whose first live editions of the gathering have been selling out in Charlotte, N.C., since it started in 2017. After giving the Southeast coffee community a ton of love and support during the first weeks of the COVID-19 shutdowns, they figured they’d take it a step forward and proceed with a virtual edition of the festival this year.

The No Filter Virtual Coffee Festival takes place entirely via Instagram live stream. Graphic by No Filter.

Simply tune in to the Instagram live stream May 12-16 to hear coffee all-stars give their take on topics like “Instant Coffee Hacks” (Summit Coffee) and “Building a People-First Business” (by Enderly Coffee). The festival will also keep COVID-19 in mind, with many of the discussions incorporating shelter-in-place-friendly subjects like how to make coffee cocktails (by Cocoa Cinnamon) and brew espresso at home (by Lem Butler of Black & White Roasters). For the full schedule, visit the official website.

Although No Filter is a project by Diana and Matt, much of the week’s content comes from the minds of the Southeast coffee community themselves. “For the most part, our coffee partners decided for themselves what they wanted to present,” says Diana. “Matt and I wanted to give everyone a chance to speak about something that interested them because, let’s be honest, that’s what makes the best content! People love to see someone passionately sharing information that they enjoy, and I hope that everyone who tunes in can find something to connect with during the No Filter Virtual Coffee Fest.”

Diana herself is particularly looking forward to the instant coffee hacks, as well as the coffee cocktails demo with Brianna Berry because, “She is one of the most brilliant coffee professionals I’ve had the pleasure of working with, and she is really creative with flavors while still maintaining approachability. It’s going to be a good class. Plus, who doesn’t love a cocktail on a Saturday?!” Who doesn’t love a cocktail any day of the week at this point though, right?

The festival’s lineup for Saturday includes coffee cocktails and signature beverages, both for the home! Graphic by No Filter.

Another bonus of being a part of this festival is getting a chance to grab some swag to use at home too—thanks to Oatly, participants who tune in to the discussions will be able to win some surprise goodies.

“I hope that attendees recognize the significance of their specialty-coffee culture!” says Diana. “All of our presenters represent locally owned businesses that support their neighborhoods, contribute positively to their cities, and reflect so well on the Southeast as a whole. COVID-19 has made it painfully apparent how precariously positioned all of these wonderful humans and small businesses are, and the importance of us (consumers, customers, neighbors) uplifting one another whenever possible.”

This event is free and open to anyone with a solid Wi-Fi signal in their area. No sweatpants are required, but comfy clothes of any sort are encouraged! From Diana: “Catch me tuning in to the virtual sessions while sporting my Lou & Grey Signature Soft wide-leg pants (they are SERIOUSLY THE SOFTEST PANTS I’VE EVER WORN) and one of my several dozen coffee shirts, snagged from folks like East Pole Coffee, Spiller Park Coffee, and Queen City Grounds.” Supporting coffee folks in comfort—sounds like a plan to us!

The post No Filter Virtual Coffee Fest Showcases the U.S. Southeast Roasting Community appeared first on Barista Magazine Online.

No Filter Virtual Coffee Fest Showcases the U.S. Southeast Roasting Community published first on https://espressoexpertsite.tumblr.com/

[psyclownsis]

hey piri! what is harley’s training routine? does she have any rituals she does on big days, for example, when she knows she’s going to fight the batman? what is suiting up like for harley (what kind of protective layers does she wear, does she have anywhere specific she hides or holsters weapons )? what would you say is harley’s biggest element of surprise when it comes to fighting?

ahhhhhh this is such a great question thank you for sending it!! okay so first things first: she works out every day, which usually consists of

jog around the block with bud and lou, maybe taking them to a park and running around with them

yoga

balance beam and parallel bars

pull-ups/upside-down crunches on the parallel bars when she’s done

some more yoga to cool off

shower

sometimes she spars with selina (maybe jason too idk, and also, nightwing? um? both of them use “fighty gymnast” style? they’ve lowkey had a game of tag/“let’s compete to see who can be more extra and twirly while they parkour across rooftops and kick each other in the face” going since he was in pixie boots and you will pry platonic best frenemies harley and dick out of my cold dead hands); sometimes she purposely starts barfights if she wants to practice fighting but nobody’s available. she also has a punching back that she can practice on but she much prefers to spar with real people because obviously batman is gonna fight back a lot more than a punching bag does. when she knows she’s going out on a job and will probably run into batman, she does extra yoga and balance beam/parallel bars stuff, but it’s more about concentrating on a pose and getting focused mentally/emotionally than the actual physical exercise.

before i start about her suit, here’s a picture so you have a visual for what i’m explaining (original post is here and it has an in-depth examination of her different costume variations and all her weapons/gadgets, so i highly encourage you to check it out):

her suit has gone through a couple different makeups over the years (supervillainy is a learning process, after all), but the current costume she has is made of two layers stitched together: the first layer is a woven kevlar material similar to blast boxers, which (to a certain extent) protects her from shrapnel/blades/maybe bullets, and the second layer/harlequin suit is a plain old sporty spandex type of material. certain areas of the suit have an extra layer or two of armor. the cowl is attached to the suit and it has a teeny tiny front zipper that goes from her chin/throat to her navel for easy dressing and undressing. her gloves/cuffs, shoes, collar, and utility belt are not attached to the suit.

“utility belt?” you say? that’s right! she has a utility belt! as i said before, supervillainy is a learning process, and harley realized pretty quick that batman had the right idea about storage, because she had just been using a simple cross-body bag to hold all her stuff and boy howdy was that massively inconvenient. so she went to a couple military surplus stores and hardware stores and voila! she now has her own utility belt, customized to her needs. she has her pop-gun on one side and a knife on the other, as well as several pockets (which are on the back for better mobility) and loops to hold her hammer/s and baseball bat. inside the pockets she has exploding bubblegum, caltrops, small throwing knives, band-aids, and medical gauze/medical tape. (she might also carry snacks. depends on what she’s doing and how much room she has. don’t be surprised if she randomly pulls out a pack of fruit snacks in the middle of a job and starts eating them.) she sometimes hides extra throwing knives and/or confetti/glitter (the perfect distraction!) in her boots or cuffs.

the biggest element of surprise she has when fighting is manipulation and mindgames!!! there’s a phenomenal example of this in gotham city sirens, when ivy shows up to stop harley from breaking joker out of arkham and harley is able to stop ivy dead in her tracks-- poison ivy, who is one of the most powerful metahumans in gotham city, if not in the world, who manipulates people herself practically for a living-- by bringing up ivy’s devotion to her and questioning the exact nature of their relationship/calling out ivy for being in love with her/essentially outing ivy as Human With Feelings(TM) with the added bonus of Those Feelings Being Really Fucking Queer(TM). it’s painful to read and it’s one of the shittiest and scummiest things harley has ever done-- one of the shittiest and scummiest things anyone could ever do-- but that’s the point! harley is a villain! she’s not a good person! she gets into people’s heads and she figures out their psychological/emotional pressure points and then she squeezes those points as hard as she can! it’s Her Thing(TM) and it’s what truly makes her a dangerous opponent.

plus, to a lesser extent: her overall strength and agility are also something she can surprise people with. she’s much stronger than she looks (both due to her own efforts as a gymnast and poison ivy’s serum giving her superstrength) and people often don’t realize just how much of an ass-beating she can deliver. however, she ultimately is not as skilled as many other fighters in the dcu, and her adrenaline almost always gets the better of her. she’s a great fighter in the sense that she can hold her own against some of the greatest combatants in gotham, but she’s a terrible fighter in the sense that despite all her training, she’s still very un-disciplined and rash. because of this, she can often be overtaken by sheer force and brutality, despite her heightened abilities-- as batman always puts it, she just gets sloppy.

tbh i need to do gifsets of The Most Harley Moments but some good video refs are

motion capture of bruce and selina’s barfight in telltale batman ep. 2 (really the only parts of this that aren’t quite applicable to harley are the pause where mickey/selina kicks a crate towards the thug and then when mickey/selina kicks the thug to ko him-- 1. harley isn’t that levelheaded in a fight lmao, and 2. she would have just smashed a bottle over his head or something)

arkham city-inspired fight choreography (mickey facchinello is selina again but if you just take out the claw slice noises and the whip? it’s harley)

amy johnston is a great inspo for harley fighting imo because there’s this video and then there’s another where she literally cosplayed harley and did a fight scene and then there’s another where she gives a very cool and collected dude a death glare while spitting out blood and i’m like. uhhhh harley vs. batman? Big Mood

the batman vs. harley fight in assault on arkham truly did her justice as a fighter and they get bonus points for giving her gadgets

they get even more bonus points for showing that she’s not always that smart in a fight and sometimes she does the stupidest shit and batman can stop her with zero effort, which is what happens at least 75% of the time when they fight

suicide squad has some a+ shots of her using twirly gymnasty moves as well as using the baseball bat but there aren’t videos of it but like. you’ve seen the movie you know what i’m talking about

you can also read about her full combat statistics here on my blog.

[g33ki5ch1cuniverse]

SLBP Questions!

Tagged by @a-night-on-polaris this is gonna be long XD and very good questions! 1- Name one (just one) thing that you can’t resist from each lord. Nobunaga - his smile idk why but that way he smiles to show his kindness even behind harsh words really gets me Mitsuhide - understanding nature (I too am a mother hen XD) Saizo - his sarcasm/dry wit Yukimura - his purity Masamune - his love idk if that makes sense like he is so absolutely precious and devoted and caring like it's so beautiful and amazing Kojuro - passion, he loves his country and his lord and he is 110% A++ husband material like you can be my baby daddy and I will call you daddy Hideyoshi - he is always trying to make others happy Inuchiyo - when he blushes I die it's so cute omfg save me I love puppies Ieyasu - I don't know him that well :/ Mitsunari - intellect Shingen - when he purrs *is ded* Kenshin - his prose (slay me with beautiful words pretty boy) 
2- Make your perfect ‘FrankenLord’ picking things from everywhere on slbp (if you like you can use npc things too) I am going to make some things up based on my personal hc's XD Nobunaga - abs (wrestlers abs ladies are a gift from above) Mitsuhide - laugh (based on his sprite it's definitely a dorky one) Saizo - skills *^* he wrote the book yall Yukimura - eyes Masamune - sweetness Kojuro - legs idk I just feel this way fite me irl Jk XD but seriously Hideyoshi - hands idk I just feel like he has hidden skills he's too smooth not too Inuchiyo - shoulders and arms he's got the biggest spear around and that takes some serious biceps and triceps to maneuver ;) I am a huge sucker for biceps irl like they are hug pillows and I just want to nom.....wut....DON'T JUDGE ME Ieyasu - his hair (from what I've read and heard it's magically fluffy) Mitsunari - Booty (he got dat manju butt) Shingen - his not-so-little lord (Yukimura even finds it something to aspire to and it's a big one) and his hips I will worship those abs and waist and I know he has a sexy voice his VA isn't exactly my type but he purrs yall I am shook in my head it's heaven Kenshin - grace just the way he carries himself and speaks makes me swoon Shigezane - smile lol this man's smile can clear any cloud formation Nagamasa - face omg cut me with those cheek bones gorgeous 
3- Tell me which is your sweetest memory from slbp *SPOILER* When Shingen and MC make love after they're reunited in the divine ending Oh my sweet baby jesus I cried my eyes out for like 3 hours after I marathoned his last chapter and epilogue dear God the feels 
4- Choose one (yes, just one) ‘fandom friend’ and match her to a lord who isn’t her favorite. Explain your decision I think this means like someone from tumblr? Sooooo I'm going to match Meowle with Kojuro! I know she loves Masa but they have that in common! XD I feel like he is debonair and mature and smart and full of sin just like Meowle is (have you read her fanfics yall...gold I tell you, gold) but as much as they can be naughty they are very smart and excellent writers ^^ I just like this pairing XD plus can you imagine Meowle putting Daddy Kojuro in some lace neglige and just perfection 
5- Did you take anything from Slbp in your daily life? (tattoos, nailart, pictures in your room, the name of your childrens/pets, whatever) I have stuffed tiger named Harunobu, I'm working on making plushies of the lords, I have a closed species OC that's taiyaki themed I named Shiki (Shigezane and Ichthys love taiyaki) ;) 
6- If the magistrate were the only man on earth but you could put on him ONE thing from your fav lord… Would you take him? (you cant say: ‘his whole body’ or ‘his entire personality’) This is just cruel :/ idk maybe Mitsuhide's practicality? Then at least he would be able to figure out wtf to do about the end of humanity? Kenshin's silver tongue? So he wouldn't sound so vile and I could blind myself to take care of the rest XD this would never really work for me bc of the prologue. One of my triggers is abuse and noncon like legit noncon (flirtation or confusion which then is mitigated does not apply) I'm talking the whole marry me or I'll send your brother to his death and burn down your family business and make you and your mother homeless thing I would not get over that....if that's all that's left of the human race we're doomed anyway....also (as a scientist) one male cannot repopulate a species....so I'd rather spend time with Oishi in a sexual way than that slime (low key high key gay for Oichi which is why I call her Oishi which means delicious in Japanese) *the more you knowww* 
7- In reverse now. If you wake up one morning and discover that your Lord suddenly has the face of the magistrate but everything else is the same (his body, his hair, his attitude, his personality, everything the same, less his face). What would you do? I would (in modern times) take him to a plastic surgeon to help him. If that's cheating I would still love him anyway, it would just take time to adjust XD 
8- Summarize your fav Lord in 5 words. Shingen - Passionate Loving Honorable Mature Strong 
9- If you could give your Lord a son/daughter, how would you name your baby? Well...in an event story Shingen names a baby Makoto so there's that, I haven't finished his noble ending so don't tell me! XD but if I had a child with Shingen if it was a boy I would pick either Takashi or Masaru. For a girl either Tsubaki or Hikari. ^^ I like names with powerful meanings. 
10- How do you imagine your MC for your Lord? 
 Soo I'm a self shipper XD Also, Shingen is my favorite BECAUSE of how well I feel I fit with him. Like in some cases I don't agree with any options for MC, but in Shingen's main story I was finding most of what I thought I would want to do was a choice, and that Shingen liked my choices too XD Also his story had just the right mix of emotions for my taste and just yes XD. So my MC for my lord Shingen is me! Salty, strong, understanding, independent, and self sacrificing 11- If you play another game (otome or not), which character would you include on Slbp? (ex. 'X’ from 'gameXX’ would be the lost brother of Shingen and blah blah blah) Ok so this is kinda weird but follow me...so there's a KBTBB substory in the Edo period, I would love to see the bidders from that substory in a crossover story with SLBP XD specifically Edo!Eisuke meeting the lords! Oh goodness he and Nobunaga would either be best friends or quite possibly best frenemies XD I have asked the 11 questions of others before so I have a different idea! One question with a lot of points XD My favorite hc to think about is what songs characters would strip to! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) So for all the lords and as many npc's you can think of: what song would they strip to? Bonus points for characters from other voltage apps XD You don't have to answer if you don't want to, and if you aren't tagged but want to answer please do!!! XD @bloody-geisha @viridian99 @guacameowle @lou-the-mudkip @thexgoddessxofxfate @singokumaiden @suzunesays @cottonballwithmustache @daeva-agas @chaedaye @danielleslauter @a-night-on-polaris

[useyourrwords]

Month in Review // Christmas is Over Thank Fuck – December

Christmas is officially done and dusted and honestly, I am so fucking thankful. 

I loved Christmas day but the days leading up to Christmas? I’m good thanks, can I get Christmas without them next year?

Between the chaos that is Christmas and the extra shifts at work (plus a month-long convoluted promotion) and no longer having a best friend, because of course, I am ready to disappear for at least a year.

Sadly I can’t do that so here we are to discuss my month!

December

        Month’s TBR

I didn’t set one!

     Read

│Lady Mary│Lucy Worsley │

│

│★★★│Read Dec 18│

│ This was fine??? A little boring, but I actually didn’t mind the MC and was surprised that I got through it? Maybe only having to read it in 30 minutes spurts while I was exercising did this book, and me, a favour. 

│The Monsters We Deserve│Marcus Sedgewick │

│

│★★★│Read Dec 27│ This was confusing but I liked it??? Convinced me to read Frankenstein though!

Book of the Month

│To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before│To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before│Jenny Han│

│

│★★★★│Read Dec 26│

│ This was so stinking cute! I think I might like the film a little better but this was still a very good read and I look forward to the rest of the books in the series! 

Look at all those books.

Listen, December was tough, take pity on me, please.

│December│ARC: 2│Owned: 1│Library Loans: 0│Reread: 0│Diversity: 2/3│Average Rating: 3.5★’s│

     Haul

I was too busy to buy books!

       Film & TV

Month’s TBW

│Charmed│Season 1│

│

│Drag Race All Stars│Season 4│

│

│Boy Erased│

│

│Robin Hood│

│

│Widows│

│

│The Grinch│

│

│Wreck-It Ralph│

│

│Ralph Breaks the Internet│

│

│Elf│

│

│How The Grinch Stole Christmas│

│

│Ratatouille│

│

│Buzzfeed Unsolved│

│

I actually got through Charmed very quickly and I have no idea how???

All Stars 4 has only just started but I’m already up to date!

I kind of watched Wreck-It Ralph and by kind of I put it on and sort of paid attention. Oops.

I was planning on seeing Ralph breaks the internet with my nephews but they want to see Bumblebee instead so I guess I’ll watch it next month!

I didn’t watch Ratatouille because I didn’t end up having a movie day with my (now ex?) best friend.

And I don’t think I’ve watched any Buzzfeed Unsolved but I don’t think there has been any new episodes?

     Watched

│Charmed│Season 1│

│1998│

Constance M. Burge│

Holly Marie Combs, Alyssa Milano, Brian Krause│★★★★│ Fave Sister: Isn’t everyone’s Phoebe?? So much nostalgia attached to this series! I loved it!

│Drag Race All Stars│Season 4│

│2012│

 RuPaul│

RuPaul, Michelle Visage│★★★★│ Fave One-liner This Season: “Yeah, well some of us don’t have to force story-lines to get air time” -Farrah Moan. I am living.

│Boy Erased│

│2018│

Joel Edgerton│

Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, Joel Edgerton│★★★★│ Fave Character: Gary & Cameron This was soooo good and I cried.

│Robin Hood│

│2018│

 Otto Bathurst│

 Taron Egerton, Jamie Foxx, Ben Mendelsohn │★★★★│ Fave Part: I loved all of it!  I kind of wasn’t expecting what I got from this?? But I loved it. Big on revolution and I was all for it.

│Widows│

│2018│

Steve McQueen│

Viola Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Elizabeth Debicki│★★│ Fave Character: Veronica: [to her gang] Now the best thing we have going for us, is being who we are. Alice: Why ? Veronica: Because no-one thinks we have the balls to pull this off. I hated it. That’s harsh, I didn’t hate it. I was just confused literally the whole time.

│The Grinch│

│2018│

Yarrow Cheney, Scott Mosier│

Benedict Cumberbatch, Cameron Seely, Rashida Jones│★★★★│ Fave Character: Cindy-Lou I went and saw this with my sister and it was good, not How The Grinch Stole Christmas good but still alright.

│Wreck-It Ralph│

│2012│

Rich Moore│

John C. Reilly, Jack McBrayer, Jane Lynch│★★★│ Fave Character: Vanellope I put this on for me and mum to watch and neither of us paid any attention. Sometimes we’re just not in the right head space for a movie.

│Elf│

│2003│

Jon Favreau│

Will Ferrell, James Caan, Bob Newhart│★★★★│ Fave Scene: When Buddy eats the cotton balls.   I watched this with my sister for the first time and I really enjoyed it!

│How The Grinch Stole Christmas│

│2000│

Ron Howard│

Jim Carrey, Taylor Momsen, Kelley│★★★★★│ Fave Part: All of it.  The ultimate Christmas movie, fight me about it. I watch it every year and this year I watched it with my sister!

│Hannibal│Season 1│

│2013│

 Bryan Fuller│

 Hugh Dancy, Mads Mikkelsen, Caroline Dhavernas│★★★★│ Fave Part: That everyone is unknowingly eating human meat.  I’m really enjoying this so far! 

│The Holiday│

│2006│

 Nancy Meyers│

Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law │★★★★│ Fave Line: “You’re supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God’s sake!” I forgot how much I like this movie! 

│Bumblebee│

│2008│

Travis Knight│

Hailee Steinfeld, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., John Cena │?│ I’m also seeing Bumblebee tomorrow but this is going up early so I’ve got no star rating yet.

     Youtube

│Meghan Rienks│

│★★★★★│ Fave Video: YULE LOG ∙| baking with meghan |∙ BAKEMAS DAY 1 I stan one (1) ADHD baking blonde. 

│Lily Marston│

│★★★★★│ Fave Video: Dressing Up As Each Other ft. KELSEY DARRAGH Since the whole Defy Media debacle, I’ve been watching a lot of the old hosts’ videos to support them! I’ve always really loved Lily and her laid-back attitude and disaster vibes.

     Music

│Camila Cabello│She Loves Control│Consequences│Into It│Something’s Gotta Give│Inside Out│In the Dark│

│Madison Beer│Say It To My Face│Dead│HeartLess│Hurts Like Hell (Feat. Offset)│

│Halsey│Without Me│

│Little Mix│Joan of Arc│Monster in Me│

│The Greatest Showman Reimagined│Never Enough (Kelly Clarkson)│This Is Me (Kesha)│Rewrite the Stars (James Arthur & Anne-Marie)│

     Podcasts

│My Favorite Murder│

 Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Hardstark│★★★★★│ Fave Quotes: “The devil made me do bad math”, “All I wanna talk about at parties is horrible, terrible things”, “He’s polite, he’s charming, and he’s calm, just like any good psychopath would be”, “It’s always raining inside of me” Fave Episode: Of recent, 145 – Live at the Mircosoft Theater in Los Angeles. They did a show for 7000 people for Halloween! Uhhhh Guys they had Cameron Britton AKA Mindhunter’s Ed Kemper on to tell his Hometown on the Halloween Live Show!!!!!

│Unsung Sluts│

 Stacie Rasmussen, Tabitha Davis│★★★★★│ Fave Quote: “If you can’t beat them, lead them.” Fave Episode: Episode 12 – Witches and Banshees

│History is Gay│

 Gretchen Ellis, Leigh Pfeffer│★★★★★│ Fave episode: Episode 8: Nazi Punks F**k Off, Pt 1: Magnus Hirschfeld & Episode 17: He’s a Real Wilde One (Oscar Wilde)

│Do You Need a Ride│

 Karen Kilgariss, Chris Fairbanks│★★★★☆│ This is a new one I’ve just started listening to and so far so good!

│88 Cups of Tea│

 Yin Chang│★★★★☆│ Fave part: Learning that Victoria Schwab is a top shelf gay. Fave Episode: V.E. SCHWAB: Bonus Full Episode Guys that episode is over three hours long! This podcast is for every author ever, aspiring or otherwise! 

     Use Your Words Highlights

Book Review // Girl Made of Stars – I Am Broken

Bookish Bits // Library Love – 2018

Grey Watches // Give Jim Cary or Nothing – How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Grey Watches // I Love Stupid Funny – Elf

Grey Watches // I Hate It So Much I Love It – A Christmas Prince

Grey Watches // It Has To Be A Shit Show – A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

Grey Watches // I Wanna Bone Jude Law and Kate Winslet – The Holiday

     Blogosphere Highlights

│Destiny @ Howling Libraries│ANNOUNCEMENT: LATE-A-THON!│

│Krystin @ Here’s The Fucking Twist│Booknerd Wednesday: My Holiday Wishlist!│

│Elise @ The Bookish Actress│THE LEGACIES WE CHOOSE TO LEAVE│

│Jamieson @ Jamishelves│T5W: BOOKS TO GIVE TO SAGITTARIUS PEOPLE│

│Aurora @ Aurora Librialis│The Most Beautiful Books of 2018 │

│Swetlana @ The Caffeinated Bookworm Life│Bloggers Recommend Their Favorite Books Part 1 // Blogmas Day 8│Bloggers Recommend Their Favorite Books Part 2 // Blogmas Day 17│Reacting To Popular Books You Guys Won’t Read // Blogmas Day 19│

│Marija @ Inside My Library Mind│The Ultimate Character Reading List feat. Blogging Friends│Character Reading Lists│Arya Stark’s Reading List│Hermione Granger’s Reading List│Nina Zenik’s Reading List│Ronan Lynch’s Reading List│

│Vicky @ Vicky Who Reads│The Double Standard Applied to POC in the Book Community│Favorite Feel-Good Reads, Why They’re Important, & Life Updates!│

│May @ Forever and Everly│To All the Books that Emotionally Wrecked Me This Year & Why I Cried Over More Books in 2018 than Ever Before│

│Taryn @ Taryn and Her Books│ON CONSUMERISM IN THE BOOK COMMUNITY & MY 2019 BUYING BAN | DISCUSSION│

│Ashley @ The Infinite Library│Let’s Talk: About Sex, Baby…in YA Fiction (Part 1)│

│Sofia @Bookish Wandress│6 Diverse YA Contemporaries That You Should Read: 2018 Edition│

│Natasha @Sapphic Solace│Discussion: The I realised I Was Queer Because of You Trope, Why I Love It, and Some of My Favourite Examples│

│Lily @ Sprinkle of Dreams│Bookish Musings & Discussion Time // “How Objective are ARC Reviews?” by Vicky Who Reads│

Month’s Goals

 Try and post 4 times a week like I have been!

 I wanna try audiobooks again???

 No Borrowing library books unless they’re holds or audiobooks

 Continue going on walks 4-5 times a week. 3 at the very least!

 Keep up with Bullet Journal because it actually helps me get shit done and be less of a mess.

 Try not to eat loads of takeaway, even though I’m gonna be super busy and tired, unless unavoidable.

 Make one of Chrissy Teigen’s recipes because they look Bomb af

I mostly kept up with my blogging schedule!

I didn’t find an audiobook I wanted to read available from my library so I just didn’t listen to any. Plus I’m annoyed at myself because Audible had like a 3 months free trial thing happening and I forgot to sign up until the day after the promotion ended. Also from what I hear the American Audible is better so I don’t know if maybe I should sign up for that one?? I know when I was signed up, I was with the UK one because it was better but I don’t know if they let you do that anymore? If anyone can help me I’d really appreciate it! Also, $17 a month is just a lot of month to me.

I haven’t been to the library unless it was to return books!

I realised that the Bullet Journaling gives me too much power! Here’s the thing, I like things to be customisable because I work out what I want and get angry when I can’t do things that way. Unfortunately, I think Bullet Journals are too customisable for me and isn’t really working?? I don’t know. I’m going to look into other diaries for the new year and see if I can find something that fits me better.

I did eat more takeaway than last month so that’s not great but I also didn’t eat more than I used to so that’s good and what I did eat of it were mostly small things. Still not great though!

I’m trying to make @chrissyteigen’s Chicken Pot Pie recipe and I’ve burnt the crust, it’s taking me ages, my arm is sore, everything is in American measurements, I thought I’d get it done in an hour like an idiot who doesn’t read recipes through properly and I wanna die.

— Greyson (@useyourrwords) December 23, 2018

I Did Things

I went to the movies with my mum twice this month!

I also went to the movies with my sister which was good! Then we came home and watched Christmas movies together and things got a little emotional and there was a little miscommunication but we worked it out and I’m hoping that we spend some more time together in the coming weeks.

My sister and I both don’t really have a whole lot of people we’re close to. We’re introverts but we also craving some socialising to a point so I think it’ll be good to have us spend some time together. It would also be nice to grow closer to her because I know we both are in need of people we can trust and talk to openly.

My mum and I babysat my Nephew this month as well and it was so much fun. He’s such an easy baby! Literally you can sit him on the couch and he’ll bounce himself off the back of the lounge for hours. He put himself to sleep doing it. Twice.

He’s very cute!

Uhhhh I Maybe No Longer Have A Best Friend?

Long story short I told my best friend of over 10 years that I was officially and legally changing my name for Christmas (it was never a secret that I wanted to change it, she’s known for years) and she didn’t react well at all.

I was firm and told her that if she wanted to continue in my life she had to respect me, and that includes respecting my name and be prepared for big changes ahead.

I’ve given her space to process and decide but haven’t heard from her since so I don’t know, it’s a bit up in the air but I’m handling it surprisingly well so maybe it’s a sign that us parting is for the best???

I don’t want to lose her, but I won’t lose myself to keep her. I won’t sacrifice pieces of myself for the sake of others anymore. All that does is validate toxic behaviour and cost me my health and happiness.

She was kind of my only actual real-life friend who I speak with outside of work so uh good thing I’m too busy to feel lonely.

But I’m super grateful for the people I’ve met through the book community, having this blog and talking to you all reminds me that I’m not really alone. I just have to reach out to people which is, um…not easy for me but I’m trying to work on it.

I hope y’all had a great month to end 2018 on!

What did you do this month? What did you read? What did you watch? What posts did you write that you’re super proud of?

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See the Oscar Nominated Shorts at 3Below

For Immediate Release

Feb. 12, 2018, SAN JOSE, Calif. -- 3Below Theaters & Lounge recently announced it will show the 2018 Oscar-nominated shorts in its theater prior to the March 4 awards show telecast.

With multiple showings, 3Below is giving Oscar fans the opportunity to see the Animated, Live Action and Documentary shorts between Feb. 13 and 20. 3Below will be the first theater in Silicon Valley to show the shorts.

Throughout the week, 3Below is offering 11 screenings of all five Animation – plus three bonus films (83m for all) – and the five Live Action shorts (97m). Additionally, the theaters will screen Documentary A (102m), featuring three films, and Documentary B (82m) containing two films, three times each.

Animation The five minute Dear Basketball directed by Glen Keane and produced by Kobe Bryant, Gennie Rim, Andrea Fairchild, Molly Carter, Dan Goodman and William H. Masterson III, explores what it means to achieve your dream, and then leave it behind. With hand-drawn animation and an emotional score, Dear Basketball  is adapted from Bryant’s NBA retirement announcement and shares the universal message of love and loss.

The seven-minute animated Garden Party, directed by Florian Babikian, Vincent Bayoux, Victor Calre, Théophile Dufrense, Gabriel Grapperon and Lucas Navarro, tells the tale of two amphibians who explore their surroundings in a deserted, rich house, and follow their primal instincts along the way.

Lou, a seven-minute animated film directed by Dave Mullins and produced by Dana Murray, shares the story of a toy-stealing bully who ruins recess for a playground full of kids; however, the only thing stopping him from total domination is the “Lost and Found” box.

The animated Negative Space, directed by Max Porter and Ru Kuwahata and produced by Ikki Films, Manuel Cam Studios and Ikki, Inc., is a seven-minute journey on suitcase packing.

Of the animated shorts, Revolting Rhymes, directed by Jakob Schuh and Jan Lachauer and produced by Martin Pope and Michael Rose, is the longest at 29 minutes. Revolting Rhymes interweaves Roald Dahl’s retelling of classic fairy tales with playful twists and surprising endings.

Bonus shorts include: Daniel Agdag’s Lost Property Office (10m), Nicholas Arioli’s Coin Operated (5m) and Achoo.

All animated shorts carry the G rating, except Garden Party, which has some disturbing imagery of a human corpse that could be upsetting to younger viewers.

Live Action This year’s Oscar Nominated Live Action films include five shorts.

Reed Van Dyk’s 20-minute film, DeKalb Elementary, takes place in Atlanta, Georgia and was inspired by a 911 call placed during a school shooting incident. DeKalb Elementary was written by Van Dyk and produced by Van Dyk, Cory Derosiers, Christopher Leavins, Enrique Diaz, Morgan Peterson and Ricardo Ramirez.

My Nephew Emmett, a 20-minute film by Kevin Wilson, Jr., is based on the true events. Set in 1955 and produced by Wilson, Lauren L. Owen and TaNisha Fordham, My Nephew Emmett recounts the story of a Mississippi preacher trying to protect his 14-year-old nephew, Emmett Till from two racist killers.

Derin Seale’s story of a psychiatrist’s delusional patient who believes he is the psychiatrist is told in The Eleven O’Clock. Produced by Seale, Josh Lawson and Karen Bryson, the film unfolds as the pair attempts to treat each other.

The Silent Child centers on Libby, a deaf child born into a middle class family who struggles to communicate until a social worker teaches her how. Directed by Chris Overton, written by Rachel Shenton and produced by Rebecca Harris, Danny Ormerod and Julie Foy, The Silent Child is a 20-minute trip into the world of a child trapped in silence.

Finally, the 23-minute Watu Wote/All of Us, directed by Katja Benrath and produced by Tobias Rosen, Bramwel Iro and Matrid Nyagah focuses on a decade-long struggle between the Kenyan people and targeted terrorist attacks of the Al-Shabaab. As the atmosphere of anxiety and mistrust between Muslims and Christians grows, Muslim bus passengers show that solidarity can prevail.

All live action shorts carry an R rating for violence and language.

Documentary Oscar Nominated Documentary Shorts have been divided into two categories, Documentary A featuring Traffic Stop, Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405 and Edith + Eddie, and Documentary B with Heroin(e) and Knife Skills.

In the HBO Documentary, Traffic Stop, Breaion King, a 26-year-old African-American schoolteacher from Austin, Texas whose run in with police during a routine traffic violation turned into an harrowing arrest. Directed by Kate David and produced by David Heilbroner, the 31-minute film is captured through the use of squad-car dashcams that show King being pulled from her car and thrown to the ground.

Written and produced by Frank Stiefel, Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405 is the portrait of a brilliant 56-year-old artist who is represented by one of Los Angeles’ top galleries. The 40-minute film details the life of Mindy Alper who has suffered through electro shock therapy, multiple stents in mental instructions and a 10-year period without speech. Throughout it all, Alper’s only consistent means of communication has been to channel her hyper self-awareness into drawings and sculpture. Through interviews and reenactments viewers learn how she has emerged from a life of darkness and isolation into a life that includes love, trust and support.

Edith + Eddie, the 29-minute short directed by Laura Checkoway and produced by Checkoway and Thomas Lee Wright, shares the story of Edith, 96, and Eddie, 95, America’s oldest interracial newlyweds whose love story is disrupted by a family feud that threatens to tear the couple apart.

The once-bustling industrial town of Huntington, West Virginia has become the epicenter of America’s modern opioid epidemic, with an overdose rate 10 times the national average. Peabody Award-winning filmmaker Elaine McMillion Sheldon shows a different side of the fight against drugs in her 39-minute documentary, Heroin(e) – one of hope as she highlights three women working to change the town’s narrative and break the devastating cycle of drug abuse…one person at a time.

Academy Award-winning Thomas Lennon’s Knife Skills follows the hectic launch of the French restaurant, Edwins, in Cleveland, Ohio. Edwins is almost entirely staffed by men and women who have recently released from prison. In his 40-minute film, viewers discover the challenges of men and women finding their way and begin to know three trainees intimately, as well as the restaurant’s founder who is also dogged by his past.

Documentaries carry an R rating for violence, drug abuse and language.

Pick your choice of films and showings, but use code OSCARS4 to receive a discount when purchasing all four shorts. Visit www.3belowtheaters.com for more information.