#plus all that monty business

[isabellaofparma]

can't believe there's discourse over whether it's okay for a magical cat creature to fuck an edwardian ghost or not with the main problematic element being their age gap. like after all that that's where we draw the line

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

Do you think Monty would ambush the other glamrocks after they’ve had their fill of prey? Get them all filled up before snacking on his costars? 👀

I've been getting too many really fun M.onty ideas lately. This sounds great, absolutely I think he would.

M.onty growls to himself, his claws scratching up the table he’s sitting at as he watches the others. Today sucks. Each of them had been booked today with huge parties, and now that the day is over, they’re all stuffed full. And M.onty? No one booked him at all! He hasn’t had a bite! Not even some chumps in his golf course to eat! He’s practically withering away, while the other three are showing off their heavy, full guts.

F.reddy belches deeply, giving the side of his gut a few rough pats. “I think we should really start regulating how much we can eat during the day. This seems slightly excessive to me…”

“Nah, it’s fine,” B.onnie reassure with a chuckle. He hefts up his stomach and lets it drop so it bounces and sloshes. “They were practically begging for it! Plus, those private parties all come with plenty of legal jargon. We’re not responsible for any digestion that happens!”

“Arr, they be tempt in’ us like a siren,” F.oxy agrees, lazily picking his teeth with his hook while his guts groan wetly in his lap. “They ought to be eaten, show them that we mean business.”

M.onty grumbles again and his gut does the same. He’s certain they’re doing this to mock him now. He knows he’d have gotten more food if they hadn’t hogged it all in those stupid parties. And why didn’t he get booked for one? F.oxy got booked over him! This isn’t just unfair…it’s wrong. They need to make it up to him…they owe him a meal.

A grin begins to curl onto M.onty’s muzzle and he slurps over his teeth. He sees a really good three-course meal right in front of him. Freshly fattened, too. He’s drooling now as he gets to his feet, trying not to draw their attention too much. They’re still chatting together, showing off their fattened guts. They’re asking for this.

M.onty lunges without a second thought, jaws open wide. None of them saw it coming, and B.onnie’s voice gets cut off mid-sentence. The two of them crash to the ground, B.onnie chest deep in M.onty’s maw. It doesn’t stay that way for long as the gator begins to gulp and shove, forcing the rabbit deeper. His jaws are gnawing and chewing on that soft rabbit gut by the time B.onnie’s legs start kicking and his muffled yells can be heard.

“M.onty!” F.reddy cries out and rushes over, grabbing onto B.onnie’s kicking legs. “What do you think you’re doing?! Spit B.onnie up immediately!”

M.onty snarls and gets back to his feet, his jaws clamping down tight as he starts to play tug-of-war with F.reddy. B.onnie’s muffled cries betray his clear discomfort with this. After a bit of pulling, M.onty gives a hard yank and opens wide. F.reddy loses his balance and falls forward, inadvertently shoving B.onnie deeper. It also gets his arms firmly planted in M.onty’s maw, which clamps down again. F.reddy is elbow deep, with B.onnie’s feet kicking around weakly outside of the gator’s lips.

F.reddy’s eyes widen as he realizes the situation he’s in. M.onty’s eyes glare at him from behind his sunglasses, but he’s grinning. Another hard gulp and a lunge forward, and F.reddy’s head and shoulders are fully engulfed. M.onty grabs the bear by the waist and begins to hoist him off the ground, throwing his head back and snapping his jaws as he starts forcing the bear down the hatch. He makes sure to chew on that fat gut a bit, just like B.onnie’s, before shoveling the whole thing down the hatch. Then he just has to slurp up F.reddy’s kicking legs.

M.onty’s stomach bloats out heavily with the last gulp. It bounces and sloshes, sagging down past his knees as two of his bandmates drop inside. It’s stretched tightly over them, showing off detailed bulges of the rabbit and bear as they wiggle and squirm inside. A deep, thick belch rumbles out of M.onty and he gives his stomach a few hard smacks. “Ha, that’s what you two get! Showin’ off those guts of yours while I was starvin’, you shoulda known you were just lookin’ like a couple of stuffed chickens!”

Some muffled sounds echo out of M.onty’s gut, making him laugh and give it a good shake. It sloshes the two inside around, stirring them up more and leaving them wiggling uselessly. M.onty is completely distracted by his tank but perks up when he hears the sound of someone moving. He locks eyes with F.oxy, the pirate freezing up in fear. M.onty slurps over his teeth slowly and gestures with a finger. “Do I look full to you? C’mere, fuzzball.”

“Arr...” F.oxy frowns and starts walking over. His eyes flicker down to M.onty’s engorged stomach, seeing F.reddy’s face stretching it out. “Don’t ye think yer takin’ this a wee bit too far?”

M.onty grabs F.oxy by the front of his coat and yanks him in close, their stomachs pressing tightly together. M.onty opens wide, blasting a thick belch right into the pirate’s face. It makes F.oxy wince and try to turn his head away, but a slobbering gator tongue makes that difficult as it drags over his face. “Nah. I said I ain’t full. So down you go.” M.onty opens wide again and, this time, shovels F.oxy face first into his gullet.

F.oxy’s legs kick, but he goes down even easier than the other two did. M.onty just throws his head back over and over, taking wet gulps to suck the pirate down. He doesn’t even use his hands, letting them rest on his already engorged stomach so he can feel his dessert stretch it out even further.

Once the last bits of F.oxy are pulled inside the gator’s maw, M.onty’s jaws snap shut and the last harsh gulp sends him on his way. M.onty’s stomach groans and stretches further, nearly touching the ground now with how stuffed it is. He gives the top of it a few rough pats, slowly slurping over his lips. He has to admit...the others are way better meals when they’re stuffed. He wouldn’t have felt this full even if he did get to snack on a bunch of customers today!

With a final harsh belch, M.onty begins to waddle off back to his room. His guts bounce and slosh with every slow step, getting lots of muffled complaints in the process. It just makes him chuckle, patting his gut some more with one hand while he picks his teeth with the other. “That oughta teach y’all...mm...then again, I gotta say, stuffed bandmates are pretty filling! I might still be churning over some of y’all come opening tomorrow...” M.onty grins when he hears even more muffled complaints. Today wasn’t so bad after all.

[invested-in-your-future]

I am new to rwde stuff, and I'm wondering why Miles is so often singled out in criticism? Like, with self-insert stuff that makes sense, but I also see people criticize the relics/gods worldbuilding as a Miles thing, without mention of Kerry. Same for similar criticisms like the plot driving them into a corner in v10, or the mishandling of the WF plot line. Is there a reason for that, or is it holdover from not liking him for the self-insert? Is he the one who talks about it the most, or has he specifically claimed responsibility for that, or he writes more than Kerry, or something? Is it because he just seems to be the more public of the two of them, doing things like his cameos? Is he simply the more unlikable one? Thank you in advance, if you answer this question.

I think it is that, yeah - Miles is the one most often putting his foot in his mouth with weird hot takes that come back to bite him.

Him being tasked by Monty to watch a bunch of anime to see what NOT to do and ending up gushing about sword art online and loving the one soul eater character he was supposed to understand about being crass?

Him going on an off-tangent rant about how Korra world building is bad only to then rip off parts of that lore and it all end up a mess.

Him ranting how on how LGBTQ+ rep in Korra has absolutely no build up only for BB ending up getting ZERO PROPER DEVELOPMENT that it SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN FOR VOLUMES (because the show was too busy queerbaiting) and only getting a desperate kiss to attempt to get the views back up... (Mind you Korra was under a LOT of network restrictions and actually doing what the show did took actual guts while the only excuse RT has for dancing around the topic is "we don't wanna")

Him watching Land of Lustrous (a show about an immortal being experiencing trauma and PTSD and dealing with grief and existential crisis) and going "I don't get it" and then delivering the absolute messy v9 nonsense that literally vilifies trauma and goes against basic mental wellness concepts.

There's a trail of Miles stepping on the same rake over and over again going back years so he kind of became the face of all the wrong decisions taken in the show.

Plus, you know, yeah, Jaune is his baby and he somehow ends up being the faux protagonist of the show leeching off the screen time of actual protagonists and getting more development and focus than actual protagonists. And him being the guy to whom "the idea of brother gods came to in a dream" and it's easy to see why he kind of became the poster child for everything bad in the show.

However, Kerry is just as guilty for a lot of aspects of the writing but people are bit more lenient because again two worst parts of the show - Jaune and brother gods both come from Miles.

RWBY having borderline nonsensical setting and offensive problematic writing is a group effort though because RT as a whole never grew out of the "edgy homophobic jokes machinima youtuber" phase - not even after becoming a company that owns million dollar franchises.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

The aggression ain't out before bed so I'm doing Hunger Games.

Right out the gate Jack with an instakill on OG Eclipse

Not OG Bloody injuring himself right after his dad dies. rip New Eclipse.

Four dead so far and three out of four are Eclipses.

(disregard the pronouns I forgot to change them) Seems like the day of the Cain Instinct. Solar Flare nuking OG Bloody, Old Moon sparing Sun, New Harvest murdering New Bloody. Of course Dark Sun is thinking about winning.

The day of raids I guess.

New Harvest Moon is the only Blood Moon left omg

Solar Flare, why the hell are you cuddling with your cousin? rip New Harvest, literally no Blood Moons left. Also, Lunar, don't spare him, dammit!

Rip Monty and Stitchwraith I guess. Also, Solar, do we need to have a talk? Is it because Jack is too busy to guard Lunar?

Rip. Old Moon killed his bestie.

Earth, why? And of course Ruin gets an explosive. Yeah, that sounds about right for Solar, actually, he's probably terrified and so is Sun.

Why is Ruin getting all the weapons!?

Both Moons said 'no fire for you, shoo!'

Jack returned to the darkneeesssss.

LUNAR! You killed Sun! You also killed Ruin, which is good, but YOU KILLED SUN!

Damn Frank, rip.

Welp.

SOLAR! You killed your besties! All three of them! (plus Old Moon but yeah he was probably the main target) BUT YOU KILLED THEM!

That sounds right for Solar, yeah.

Hm. That would be an interesting partnership, actually.

Rip, Solar killed his family then cried over them.

The twinks are talking while SF and Dark Sun babysit Jack.

JACK NO! Backup and Solar, you two dumbasses!

Oh god, not my boy again.

Literally how?

[checkmatein3moves]

As we're getting into "big family meal" season, what are the ROs family lives like? Among the rich kids, who's family actually does family-only non-business not-for-clout stuff? Sit down meals, that sort of thing? For the not-rich-as-kids folks, who has/had a good family life? Do they keep in touch or get together with family? How would the ROs feel about getting roped into a significant other's family traditions?

impossible question to answer succinctly. the windhams probably have the most wholesome family dynamic including the most cousins the main branch is actually in contact with, but even out of them, it's rare that every single one ends up home. people are busy, sometimes choose to be with friends, but when it all works out there can be up to 20+ at their place for homely gathering.

the kamyas definitely had comfortable sit down dinners, but since elias died the vibes are not the same. monty and her parents don't have a bad relationship but i don't think she can bear to be around them by herself for a family dinner yet. things probably veer towards business by accident, because of the importance they place on it in regards to bettering the family.

the zus were once tied to the wangs (number 6) through marriage, although none of them were very comfortable with mars. unfortunately he is the kind to have everyone together for unity rather than actual family love, and it was easier to go along with than fight. arguments at the dinner table probably disintegrated that, especially because nobody ever took noir's side, not even his maternal aunts or grandparents, even if they agreed with him and often left him the only one standing up for himself which contributed to his position now. presently, zu family dinners are business affairs with mars, lemon and kai in thin debates, zia and sometimes twenty plus whichever simp might've been lucky enough to get an invite to to get an opportunity from mars.

the vinterens threw elite parties rather than family meals. violeta has obviously never been a big family woman, but the she liked the attention and buzz from guests and the excuse to get absolutely smashed rather than sit around and actually talk to her few relatives left. benz might have put his name on them sometimes but they were probably too indulgent for even him to risk getting his reputation too embroiled with.

the hales would've had nightmarish family dinners back when laurel and ten were children. barely a single night they could be in the same room without laurel and benz fighting, so he would've given up and left them with any of his siblings/cousins/in-laws and their partners that weren't too busy to be there. present day he's doubled down on business even more, so like mars he usually uses dinners as an opportunity to get all his higher ups in one place. since hebe has grown up she's better at diplomacy and sits through them to learn, but they are by no means warm or fun affairs. maybe there was exceptions when MC, hebe and elspeth were kids but maybe they see it through rose coloured glasses.

the sissels are another family that probably ends in arguments at the table, though not out of spite but the sheer amount of stress and pressure they feel from being so new, so to speak, to the lifestyle. otherwise they would probably have a happy family gathering not taken over by gossip and speculation, because their priorities would be different. they do like a spectacle though. fancy desserts and fire tricks and less focus on actually eating the food than being impressive. they do definitely try, though. jelly and pixy are simply too old to keep falling for the facade.

the only lower class character who we (as the MC) can infer anything about is sailor, because honey, jareth and ludo have very obscure family lives. they did have a hodgepodge family that loved them, but when their mother got sick the money problem got exacerbated and the glue of the family disintegrated. all the cracks in the fragile happiness got too large to salvage. they enjoy what they have at the MC's place, even if the MC is the kind of person to expect them to eat with staff instead. the food is better and they have a sustainable way to access it, and they know how to make the most of temporary bonds.

[yelesomeblue]

A little horror for my OC Elara

Elara is my daycare attendant oc. She is basically a refurbished staff bot with an upgraded AI and new protocols. Anyway she is terrified of all Montys. Like full panic with 50% chance she bolts and finds a closet to lock herself in and hide or 50% she just goes into full system shut down. Why is she so scared you ask? Let me explain

One day while cleaning the security desk area her Moon came up to her and ordered her to make Monty leave as he was busy and didn't want to deal with the gator, plus Sun still had Monty on the banned list. So unable to disobey Moon's orders she went to inform Monty that Moon was busy and Monty was still banned and had to leave. The Monty of her dimension was short tempered and quick to use violence if he didn't get what he wanted. Since Elara was not getting Moon for him, he attacked her and ripped of one of her arms, one leg at the knee, and the other at the hip before throwing her over the railing where she cracked her face and one eye on impact. She had shut down before she hit the ground though. Her Moon was so pissed that Monty made a mess and that he now had to repair her. So now any Monty scares her.

[b4ts1e]

▀▄▀▄▀▄Traditions▄▀▄▀▄▀ (𝚐𝚗!𝙼𝙲)

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝙸𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚍: 𝚀𝚒𝚞/𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚗 𝙻𝚒𝚗 𝚃𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝙱𝚊𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚗 𝙾𝚙𝚊𝚕 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝙼𝙲 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 (𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙾𝙻:𝙽&𝙵)

𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝: The night before Halloween, the cul-de-sac trio decides to have a sleep over at MC's house- going trick or treating the next evening as a group. Based in Step 1

(𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗)

The cul-de-sac trio, all bundled up in their pajamas with a bunch of fluffy blankets (supplied by MC) together layed out on the floor with snacks as they huddled together, watching classic Halloween movies from Opal's laptop. (Imma draw this, at some point- I already have a refrence picked out.)

"I'm super excited to go trick or treating! My parents didn't really do Halloween, so this basically a first time for me!" Tamarack said excitedly shifting side to side- scooching just a bit closer to MC who resided in the middle of the trio, controlling the laptop while laid out on their stomach. "Really? Why didn't they?" Qiu asked, curiously- lifting himself up with his elbows slightly to get a better look at who he was talking to.

"I dunno, we just didn't. Not very common in German culture I guess, plus they were always busy." She said nonchalantly, not bothered much by it- too distracted by the movie playing on the screen. "Makes sense to be honest, cultures can be vastly different." MC spoke up, pausing the movie. "Oh? How do you know that?" Qiu asks, a smug smirk on his face but it was a genuine question.

"Well, living previously in the city- many different types of people lived there. Plus we used to move around alot for my mom's job- that said I had the oppertunity to meet a lot different people, or at least learn about them." MC explained a bit before Opal came into the room with a plate of decorated cookies- halloween themed of course. "So- how's the movie going kiddos? Need anything? Water, more blankets, anything?" She asked with a kind smile, putting the cookies down on MC's nearby desk.

"Hey momma? What was that guy from the bakery's name again? Him and his mother ran that place after moving from France to share his mom's recipes?" MC asked, shocking Opal a bit who just chuckled a bit but smiled anyways. "That was Monty sweetheart, why do you ask?" she replied gently, crossing her arms and leaning on the doorframe gently. "Tamarack is having her first genuine Halloween with us, and that turned into talk about different cultures." Autumn explained quickly, resulting in Opal to nod swiftly.

"Gotcha, well- Monty was from France. Just like how Tamarack's Omi and Opa were from Germany. Germans don't often celebrate Halloween because of one of their holidays: Martinstag. It's very similar to both Halloween and Christmas, but also- what me and MC celebrate: Yuletide. I don't know much about the specific details of the traditions or celebrations, but I do know they light lanterns, share treats, and have a communal bonfire." She explains a bit, teaching what she knows from her minimal experience. "Yuletide?" Tamarack asks, looking to MC with a questioning glance.

"Yeah, what's Yuletide?" Qiu asked with her, MC's eyes seemed to sparkle in delight at the mention of the holiday season. "Yuletide is the holiday season of what you both know as Christmas! Yule is the actual holiday. It's a whole two weeks of celebrations! We light bonfires, give gifts, do a simmer pot, cook together, decorate a yule tree, and a bunch more things! Christmas was derived from it actually!" they rambled on a bit, excited to be able to teach their friends about one of their own traditions.

"A WHOLE TWO WEEKS?!" Tamarack exclaimed, sparkles in her eyes- jaw dropped. "That's so lucky!" she said excitedly. "So do you get gifts everyday?" Qiu asked, making Opal chuckle a bit. "Well- we normally spend the first week and a half exchanging hand made gifts. The second week we spend quality time together but on the day of the winter solstice we exchange the rest of the presents we got each other." she explained with a happy sigh, recalling the memories.

"Do you think we could participate in each other's traditions this year? All together?" Qiu asked with sparkles in his eyes, Tamarack nods eagerly- grinning like a kid on Christmas. "Well I'd have to speak with both of your guardians first, but if they accept it- then I don't see why not!" Opal says happily, pulling out her phone. "I'll go give them a ring, you three get back to your movies and snacks!" she said before exiting the room, the three kids giddy and excited for the possibility of spending more than just Halloween together.

"I hope they say yes!" Tamarack said excited, hugging a stuffed animal tightly as she got back into her original position for watching the movie. "I hope so too! It'd be super fun to join our families for the holidays! Besides, even if they don't say yes I still intend to make and get you guys gifts for the holidays!" Qiu said with a grin. "Oh yeah? You sure you won't lose them?" MC teased him gently, earning a slight elbow to the arm- making them laugh a bit. "Either way- I had already planned to make you guys Yuletide gifts, but now I'm way more excited!" MC said hugging a pillow and snuggling it close.

"Aww MC!" Tamarack said before hugging them, "I'll be sure to make you some gifts as well!" she said happily. Qiu chuckled lightly, smiling softly "I will too, it's only fair. After all you do keep my papers from magically disappearing." he said with a smirk, leaning against MC lightly. "You mean, they keep your papers after you lose them?" Tamarack teased before getting a pillow thrown softly at her, both her and Qiu laughing as MC just laid their shaking their head and stiffling a laugh.

"You guys are the best, thank you for being my friends. Seriously." MC said with a soft smile, catching the other two off guard slightly. "Where did that come from?" Qiu asked with a chuckle, his hair dishevled and completely down. "I don't reallty know, just- thank you. Both of you." they said again. "MC!!!!!" Tamarack squealed before she practically tackled them in a hug, making Qiu get squished behind the two- but they all laughed despite that.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1,017

[hillbilly---man]

Netflix released their Jan-June 2023 viewership data which is very exciting for kind of dull people like me who want to post mildly interesting facts about the shows they like

Anyway, some fun Saiki K stats:

Total hours watched (all seasons plus Reawakened): 29,100,000

Hours per day: 161,667

That's over 18 years of this show watched in a day! It's like the whole anime is being binged over 6,800 times all at once.

Now some comparisons:

(I'm not including anything that isn't available on Netflix globally)

Some things that had fewer hours of viewing than Saiki K season 1 (the highest, at 17,100,000 hours):

A Series of Unfortunate Events: Season 1

Heartstopper season 1

Big Mouth season 1

Bojack Horseman season 1

Seinfeld season 1

Some things that had fewer viewership hours than Saiki K season 3 (the lowest, at 600,000 hours):

Monty Python's Flying Circus series 1

Bill Nye Saves the World season 1, 2, and 3 (separately)

Neo Yokio season 1

Rocko's Modern Life: Static Cling

And some things that had more viewership hours than any season of Saiki K (in case you're like me and also think it's funny to see what things are more popular than your fave):

The Boss Baby: Back in Business: Season 1

Jane The Virgin: Season 5

Little Baby Bum: Nursery Rhyme Friends: Season 1

Dynasty season 4

[beatricebidelaire]

"Mr. Kensicle," a deferential bow as greeting, same as what Monty Kensicle remembers from his last visit to the store. He nods back as greeting. "Same as usual?"

"No," Monty Kensicle says. "A different style this time, please." He's been caught on camera a few times recently - granted, none of those managed to capture his face, but some very sharp detectives who are very observant have managed to recognize his hat, and used that to trace down his more recent movements amongst many, many photos that contained the same hat. It's not a particularly fancy hat, nor that unique, at least in his own opinion, but apparently it's gone out of style and fewer and fewer people are wearing it. Plus, there are some stains on the hat that made it more recognizable amongst the hats.

Amongst some of the very sharp, very observant detectives, a few were his associates, once. He is proud of them, and their abilities, but not ready to run into them again yet. He is on the run, and frankly, preferring not to run into anyone from his past at the moment. Anyone too close, anyway. Mere acquaintances who only know him as 'Monty Kensicle' are .... an acceptable risk, if infrequent enough. If for an important purpose.

Getting a nice, suitable hat is an important purpose. So here he is, taking the chance of being back in The City, visiting the hatmaker's store at the Victorious Finance District.

He picks out a few new hats for himself.

After their usual back and forth negotiation, he and the hatmaker finally agree on a price that he thinks is just barely better than an extortion (there's a reason that the hatmaker managed to set up business in such a district, after all). Satisfied, Lemony Snicket walked out of the hatmaker's store.

[howdy-cowpoke]

TIMING: During the Winter Wickedland festival LOCATION: The Commons PARTIES: Monty (@howdy-cowpoke) & Kaden (@chasseurdeloup) & Mack (@realmackross) SUMMARY: Monty wants to take Mack out for a fun afternoon to take her mind off things, and convinces Kaden to come along. It’s a holly jolly good time… and there’s singing. CONTENT WARNINGS: none!

—

To say it had been quite the year in Wicked’s Rest was an understatement. She had been pushed off a balcony, went ham on the town, attacked by a werewolf, turned into irl Goo Girl, and stabbed repeatedly, and now, all the zombie wanted to do was to have some fun. So when she was somehow invited to hangout with Monty and Kaden, her other two dads – Mackenzie has a lot of dads in this town okay? – she was reluctant at first, but decided to join in on the holiday fun. Plus, there had been the strong possibility of getting to see Sellama Gomez at some point, and that was always a draw.

Where am I meeting you guys again? She had pushed send on the group text message, not sure of where she was supposed to meet them or what was happening. Just that it was supposed to be a fun day.

—

While Monty wasn’t privy to all the things in Mack’s life that’d been difficult as of late, she sprung to mind when he heard about the winter festival that was being put on. She could use something nice, he figured, and seeing as how Kaden had a bit more experience with people her age, he was inclined to ask his partner along as well. The more the merrier, and all that. 

The pair were walking down a busy street when they both received the text, and Monty glanced around, looking for some landmarks. Starring Role Pâtisserie jumped out at him and tightened his grip on Kaden’s arm, pulling them off to the side and out of the way of other people while he tapped out a reply.

We’re in front of Starring Role. We can wait here for you, there’s a bench nearby! 

Smiling up at Kaden, Monty threaded their fingers before tugging him over to the bench he’d spotted, sitting close before quickly becoming distracted by a passing dog. His soft coo still drew the attention of the owner and they smiled, letting the dog approach for pets. It wasn’t until the corgi and her owner had gone that Monty sat back and sighed. “I should have brought the dogs!” he complained with a chuckle, knowing full well that Azul, Cinder, and Pomelo would be one hell of a handful together and with this many people around. “But ah, I thought we could take Mack back to the farm after, I know she’s been wanting to visit her llama. Sound okay? We could make dinner.” He still had plenty of organs set aside that they could make into something nice for him and Mack, and there was also a good selection of normal food at the house now that Kaden was spending so much time there. 

—

Kaden had seen the big winter festival pop up in town earlier in the month. It was hard to miss it, even if his time was mostly spent corralling reindeer as of late. Truth be told, he didn’t have much intent on visiting it. That was until Monty invited him to join him and Mack to the festivities. He should have seen that coming in some respect. If it wasn’t Monty dragging him there it would have been Alex eventually. He wasn’t sure why he thought he would end up missing the town event in any case. Not that he was complaining about spending time with either of his undead company for the day. 

As they sat and waited, a smile crept onto his face. Kaden  wasn’t sure if the smile on his face was attributed more to the dog or the man next to him reaching down to give it scritches. Probably Monty, if he was being honest.  “If we brought Shadow, too, we’d have one dog per hand,” he added with a laugh. “Probably good we left them at home.” The four of them would have plenty of fun and love the attention but it definitely wouldn’t have been easy on the humans there. Not to mention, wouldn’t give them a lot of spare attention for Mack. “I’m sure we can find some kind of treat to bring back for them and for Mack’s llama. Anyway, dinner later sounds perfect,” he said with a smile as he went to stand up. 

He was pretty sure he saw someone that looked like the kid in question and figured she’d have an easier time spotting them if he was standing. He was tall enough to spot through a crowd most times and even if that wasn’t the case, he’d be able to see her easier this way. 

Once he caught a glimpse of the blonde hair, he waved and tried to catch her eye. He liked Mack. She was good with animals and actually watched nature documentaries sometimes. Also didn’t poke fun at him nearly as much as some of Alex’s other friends. Still, he was a little nervous to see her, didn’t want to intrude being the only one of the three of them with a beating heart. He knew Monty was great at mentoring other people like him and he got the feeling it was important to Mack, too. He didn’t want to be a bother. 

“Good to see you,” he told her when she walked over. “So, what do you two want to do first?”

—

As she made her way through the crowds looking for the location in the returned text, Mackenzie spotted just who she was looking for. Kaden towered over some of the shorter residents of Wicked’s Rest and as she laid eyes on him, a smile came to her face. It was nice having the opportunity to be around people who didn’t have any fault with her. Alex had been MIA, Winter…well that was an entirely different story, and it seemed as though everyone else, aside from Parker, had some excuse of why they hadn’t wanted to come around. Plus, there was the tension between her and Cass, but today was for Monty and Kaden, and as she forced the previous people out of her mind, she walked over to the two men.

“Yeah, good to see you, too. I’m not gonna lie. When Monty said you’d be coming along to this thing, I was kind of surprised. I didn’t expect this to be your scene, but I’m glad you’re here.” She leaned over when she got close enough and gave him a hug, before walking over to give Monty one, “I’m good with whatever you guys prefer. I’m just here for the ride. And to get out of the house for a while.” Mackenzie sent them both a warm smile.

—

The older zombie brightened when Mackenzie appeared, getting quickly to his feet beside Kaden to welcome her. A warm laugh bubbled up from his chest when she announced her surprise that Kaden had agreed to come, because he understood where she was coming from. He could be a rather serious person, at least to those who didn’t know him quite so well as Monty did, and an afternoon of winter solstice frivolity didn’t quite line up with most people’s impression of the man. But Monty knew that if he asked, Kaden would oblige, and he’d have plenty of fun to boot. He was sweet and funny in his way, and the cowboy hoped that that would shine through today for Mack to get a kick out of as well. 

“Getting out of the house is good,” he said softly as he gave the girl a tight squeeze, noting that like himself, she was probably underdressed for the weather. A perk of being dead, he supposed, if you could call it such a thing. He wouldn’t speak for all the zombies he knew, but as far as he was concerned, the cold was much more tolerable than the heat. When dead things get too hot, you start to have… problems.

“I did not have anything specific in mind, though…” He glanced over toward the Common, where the recent snowfall had been collected into a huge mountain that people were sledding on. “... I am curious to see just how uncoordinated any one of us might be on that thing.” There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, one that was begging for trouble. 

—

Kaden didn’t expect the hug, but he was far from upset, returning it without further question. “You caught me,” he said with a smile. “You two are the only reason I’m here.” He took a look around at all the activities and people around them. “Doesn’t look so bad, either way.” It was a nice change of pace from the goo-covered panic he had grown used to witnessing in town. 

The ranger raised a brow as he saw what his partner was pointing them towards. It was clear from the get-go that the cowboy had some sort of tricks up his sleeve with this one. Kaden didn’t know what, but he had a feeling someone was going to be on the other end of a prank. He had a feeling it was going to be himself, no doubt that Mack and Monty would be in on it together. No use avoiding it, it would only delay the inevitable. He huffed out a laugh and smiled. “Alright then, let’s go.” 

Before he could take a single step in the direction of the hill, he paused and furrowed his brow. The words he’d just said didn't sound quite right. Almost… melodic. That was fucking weird. It was probably nothing. He shook it off and kept walking, ushering the two undead right along with him. There were various sorts of sleds and snow tubes at the bottom of the hill to pick up and take with them and slide down. The trash can lid looked like a recipe for disaster. Not that the plastic dish beside it looked any safer but at least it was intended to use in the snow. 

Kaden watched as a group of people zoomed past them down the hill, laughing and yelling on the way. It looked like they had each gotten their own sled and had linked themselves together by holding onto the other’s sleds, hands, feet, you name it. “That looks like the way to go,” he told the others, his voice strangely sing-songy again. Kaden coughed to clear his throat. Putain, what was going on? In lieu of talking and having that happen again, he nodded toward the sleds, picked one for himself, and started the climb to the top of the hill. 

—

Mackenzie was excited by the prospects of the day with her two friends, especially knowing that they had wanted her there. She had already seen a softer side of Kaden when they had been trapped in the cabin together after the Volmugger incident, which had put any rumors of just how tough he was to shame and why a friendship with him had seemed to come easier than expected. And just having another zombie friend in her life, one with much more experience with the undead life than she could even imagine had meant more than Monty would ever know, especially considering all he had done for her when she was tripping on Serpent Flat energy.

The festival had offered a lot of different options to choose from, and seeing that sledding down a pretty large hill is where Monty had suggested and Kaden was leading them definitely didn’t disappoint. In fact, she had missed having adrenaline rushes that weren’t life or death, so this choice of activity had been highly welcomed. It was the unexpected song that Kaden was gracing them with that had caught the younger zombie off guard, “I expected fun, but I never expected to be serana-ded…” She threw a quick hand over her mouth when she, too, began singing instead of speaking, “I wanted a music career…but not like this…”

Seeing the hunter grab a sled as a quick solution to not having to speak - err - sing felt like the way to go, and finding the most worn out and intimidating looking make-shift sled, Mack was ready to feel the thrill of zooming down a hill at a stupid, scary speed to see if she didn’t get thrown half-way across town. Her footsteps following in his, she started to climb the hill as well, “Come on, Monty! Danger awaits!” The words still held a certain melody, but one of excitement and grit.

—

Why… were they both singing? Monty couldn’t help the confused but amused expression that flitted across his face as his gaze jumped between them, that grin remaining as they each picked out a sled and he, an innertube meant for use in water. Was this the prelude to some kind of weird prank? They were not going to get him to sing in public, that was for damn sure. Following the pair as they all hiked up the mound of snow, Monty waited for them to get situated on their respective sleds before dropping his tube between them and clambering into it a little clumsily. Remembering Kaden’s earlier (melodic) comment, he extended a hand to each of them with a grin, then dug his boot into the densely packed snow and dragged his tube forward, pulling them after him as he moved beyond the flattened top and onto the slope. Gravity did the rest, and the three of them went screaming down the hill. 

A few small ramps had been packed into the snow, and Monty realized with a yelp that he was headed right for one. His string of Spanish expletives sounded remarkably song-like as he got launched, losing his grip on the both of them in favor of clinging to his tube like his life depended on it, praying (and screaming) that he’d land upright.

He wasn’t quite so lucky, the wind ripping the lightweight sled out from under him and leaving him to hit the snow again with his back, where he slid down the rest of the hill, spinning until he was coming down headfirst and slowing to a stop at its base. 

If nothing else, the cowboy didn’t seem hurt (obviously) and was instead laughing breathlessly as his inner tube bounced up to him and plopped right on his chest. 

—

Kaden wasn’t sure if was relieved or only more concerned when he wasn’t the only one speaking in melodies. Was Mack just following his lead? He tried to see if she was picking on him just by looking at her, brows furrowed. No luck, couldn’t tell one way or another. Not that he knew what he was expecting to learn just by looking at her. 

Once they were at the top of the hill and sat on their snow tubes, Kaden took Mack and Monty’s hands and readied himself for the ride. When his partner started spouting swears, he couldn’t help but laugh as he watched him head for the ramp ahead. It took him a moment to realize that Monty had let go of his hand but when he did, he tried to reach out to grab the man’s tube to try and keep them together. It was no use. All it did was throw himself off balance and had him sliding down the hill backwards. 

Now Kaden was the one shouting curses in a foreign language, holding onto Mack as best he could. There was no missing the stupid smile plastered on his face on the way down, though, or the laughter in between the expletives. 

“Everyone alright?” he asked once they were all at the bottom, trying to catch his breath as he laughed. His voice was still stupidly sing-song-y. Putain de merde.

—

Mack had positioned herself and latched onto Monty’s hand ready for the thrill of going down the hill at a ridiculous speed. But before she realized it and could really say, err, sing anything else, she felt herself being pulled forward by the momentum of Monty and Kaden moving too. And without holding back, she opened up her mouth and let a loud scream of happiness come out.

It was when she felt the release of Monty’s hand from hers that she realized they had been separated and as quickly as she could, managed to catch Kaden’s in the nick of time as they continued down the hill behind Monty who was now rolling like a whiskey barrel on the loose. And her screaming turned into laughter as she glanced over towards Kaden who was sing cursing in French.

Finally, when the ride was over, Mack leaned her head back and took a deep breath as she released Kaden’s hand, “What a ride! Can we do it again? I want to hit the ramp and fly down to the end!” The words were almost like lyrics as they left her mouth, “What the fuck is happening?” The music seemed to match everything she was singing as she looked to Kaden and Monty, still smiling, but shaking her head.

—

“Ai, the ramp is all yours next time, hermana,” Monty groaned, pushing the innertube off of himself so he could sit up, realizing a little too late that the three of them were still… sing-speaking, as if building up to a full-blown song and dance number in a musical. He wasn’t a huge fan of it, but after more than five years in this town, he knew better than to question the weird goings-on, as long as they didn’t seem to be harming anyone. And this, while annoying and embarrassing, appeared harmless. For now. At least it wasn’t just him.

He sat back for a moment to catch his breath, leaning on his hands and watching other people come soaring down the hill as they had. Everyone’s voices seemed to have a musical quality to them, and he shook his head thoughtfully. Oh well. Might as well ride the wave, as they say. Or in this case, the huge snowbank.

“Let’s do it again! Come on, Kaden, on your feet. Don’t mind the singing, I guess it’s kind of…. neat.” … That rhyme was involuntary. He laughed at himself, holding out a hand to help the man up, then reaching to do the same for Mack. “This feels a little like, you know. Dr. Suess! Like the Grinch, but we’re all Whoville Whos.” Holy shit. 

—

The singing didn’t seem to be stopping. In fact, Kaden was worried the whole thing might turn into a musical number with coordinated caroling coming from the people sliding down the hill behind them if they stayed there. Considering they were starting to rhyme. “I think this is a little out of my league.” The words came out like a melody no matter how hard he tried to temper them. “Let’s go before we get rhyming fatigue.” Really? That was the best rhyme he could come up with. “Putian de merde,” he grumbled in a sing-song aside, “this whole thing is absurd.” The last word came out in a cartoonish version of his own accent, forcing it to rhyme with merde. Even his grumble was melodic. Kaden wanted to ask how to make it stop but he was afraid to open his mouth. 

As much as he didn’t want to speak, it was like there was no way to avoid it. Once they were all standing, Kaden found himself wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders respectively, their steps all keeping in time to the music in the distance. Wait, the music in the distance? Why was there– And it sounded like a backing track to this strange song they were unwittingly writing on the fly. 

Kaden hated this. But biting his lip to keep from singing was getting harder to do. It was either clamp down until he bled or give up and go with whatever musical number they’d walked themselves into. “But it’s great being able to spend so much time with both of you. When you’re down or you're blue there’s nothing I wouldn’t do. Just say the word and I’m there, that’s how much I care.” Putain, there were dance steps now. This was dancing. Kaden couldn’t dance, never really tried, but somehow he was performing some kind of choreography all the same, spinning both Mack and Monty around and meeting up with them again, all in time to the swelling music. “Now let’s go explore the rest of this fair.”

In hindsight, maybe he should have tried a little harder to resist whatever was going on. 

—

Mack jumped to her feet with a sudden pep-in-her-step, when Monty gave her hand as she listened to him followed by Kaden singing their respective parts. This entire thing was starting to become really amusing. And it had almost reminded her of the musical she was in as a kid. It was fun and something she wouldn’t soon forget, but what sealed the deal on this memory was Kaden, who could be a bit of a grump, started really getting into the number as he danced in time and spun both her and Monty around.

The young zombie’s eyes lit up with joy as she laughed and broke free from Kaden and Monty, “Kaden, Monty, can this really be? It’s like we’re living in an episode of that show Glee! Singing and dancing to a holiday tune! Snow falling around us, it’s like a Hallmark movie airing at noon!” 

She ran forward, joining up with a group of dancers who had come out of nowhere for a dance break where she flipped and twirled with a genuine smile on her face. When she finished dancing with the group and they all scattered back out to their respective places, Mack met back up with Kaden and Monty, “Come on, Kaden! Don’t be grumpy! Keep singing this tune with me and Monty!” She looked to the cowboy curious for his reaction.

—

Monty had never been poetic. Even with something… strange going on, something inspiring them all to rhyme and sing and dance (and was that music natural?), he failed to connect to any kind of creative side of himself. For Mack, the connection was obvious. Even for Kaden, bless his heart, there was creativity and light in the passion he had for cooking. But Monty? God, he’d never done anything creative in his life, unless you counted a few bad sketches from a century ago. No, he didn’t have much to offer to this strange happenstance, and so he just found himself… laughing. Dancing, sure, being twirled on the spot by Kaden and loving every second of it, but he was too far down the giggling rabbit hole to provide anything of substance. 

When Mack looked at him, it was all he could do to regain his composure long enough to speak between snickers, “Don’t make me choose, don’t make me think! Let’s go for one more slide, then I need a drink.” There was plenty more to explore at this fair, and who knew if this bizarre compulsion would follow them when they left the snow mound, but… he didn’t mind it, really. Singing or not, it was a joy to get to spend the day with the pair. 

As long as it went away eventually. 

[animatronic-assistant]

Trauma time

Elara is my daycare attendant oc. She is basically a refurbished staff bot with an upgraded AI and new protocols. Anyway she is terrified of all Montys. Like full panic with 50% chance she bolts and finds a closet to lock herself in and hide or 50% she just goes into full system shut down. Why is she so scared you ask? Let me explain

One day while cleaning the security desk area her Moon came up to her and ordered her to make Monty leave as he was busy and didn't want to deal with the gator, plus Sun still had Monty on the banned list. So unable to disobey Moon's orders she went to inform Monty that Moon was busy and Monty was still banned and had to leave. The Monty of her dimension was short tempered and quick to use violence if he didn't get what he wanted. Since Elara was not getting Moon for him, he attacked her and ripped of one of her arms, one leg at the knee, and the other at the hip before throwing her over the railing where she cracked her face and one eye on impact. She had shut down before she hit the ground though. Her Moon was so pissed that Monty made a mess and that he now had to repair her. So now any Monty scares her.

(Moving all I can about Elara from main account over here so if you've seen this before you know why)

[lunas-nargle]

↳two

chapter two of “meddle about” series brian o’conner x reader

ii. ready, set, race

Y/n and Mia got out of the middle Toretto cousin's baby blue Subaru STI. Letty a few seconds later pulled up behind her, getting out of her car with swaying hips. 

The area around them was abandoned and completely full of racers and nice cars. The Toretto girls strutted off behind Letty towards the oldest Torretto cousin, who was talking to two hot blondes.

Letty walked closer to them, looking pretty pissed. "I smell." she sniffed the air. "Skanks." Y/n smiled amused, as she leaned against the hood of Letty's car with Mia. "Why don't you girls just pack it up, before I leave tread marks on your face?"

"Okay." One of the blondes said, looking annoyed. Both of the girls left as Dom said, "Letty, I was just talking--"

"Yeah, whatever." Letty spat, looking pissed off.

Dom didn't go after her, only started talking business, "Okay, Hector--"

Y/n looked around, her eyes falling upon one person in particular. She smirked as she saw Monty getting out of his white and blue Nissan S15. 

"Ahhh, look who it is, Mia." Y/n teased nodding towards the tall, blue eyed brunette. Mia's face turned hot upon seeing him. He glanced at her with a smile. Mia looked down at her feet bashfully before looking everywhere but at him.

Y/n felt a small nudge to her side, interrupting her people watching. 

"What?" she asked, looking over at Mia. She didn't respond, only nodded off to the side. Y/n followed her line of sight. Her eyes landed on Brian the Blond Beauty standing beside a lime green car, people watching as he leaned against his lime green Mitsubishi. 

Brian's eyes stopped onto her. She was now out of her work clothes, and confidently wearing a skimpy outfit that showed off her body in all the right places. Y/n smirked as he came closer to the group Dom was talking to. She looked back towards her cousin.

"One race, 2g buy in. Winner takes all." Dom said. "Hector, you're going to hold the cash."

"Why Hector?" Another racer asked, handing his money over to Hector.

"Cause he's too slow to make away with the money." Y/n smirked amused by her comment as she leaned her elbow on Mia's shoulder. People wooed and laughed, while he glared at her. Y/n winked at him as she remembered the race he challenged her to like it was yesterday. She won, smoking him till he was burnt out.

Hector rolled his eyes at her. Dom clapped Hector and Edwin on the shoulders and said, "Good luck, guys."

"Hey, wait. Hold up." the familiar voice of Brian said, coming in between Hector and Edwin. He held up a pick slip, clearing his throat. "I don't have any money, but I do have a pink slip to my car."

"Hey, you just can't climb in the ring with Ali 'cause you think you box." Jesse said.

Brian points towards Vince with a smirk, "He knows I can box." Y/n glanced towards Vince with an amused smile while Monty laughed outwardly with no shame, earning a swift nudge to the side. "So, check it out. It's like this. I lose, winner takes my car, clean and clear. But if I win, I take the cash and I take the respect."

The people remaining around them laughed. Dom smirked with a laugh, "Respect." he repeated.

Mia let out a chuckle as Y/n smiled at him in awe. She was surprised he actually had the balls to say that. "To some people that's more important." Brian continued.

"That your car?" Dom nodded towards his lime green 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse.

Y/n and the rest of the crew, plus a few other people, walked over to Brian's car. They popped the hood and saw a beautiful sight. People around them voiced their awe as Jesse listed off the things it had

"I see a cool air intake. It's got a NOS fogger system and a T4 turbo, Dominic." he said. "I see an AIC controller. It has direct port nitrous injection."

"Yeah. And a stand alone fuel management system." Dom said, standing behind Jesse. "Not a bad way to spend ten thousand dollars."

Edwin stepped towards the car, inspecting the car's insides. "You see that shit?" he said. "He's got enough NOS in there to blow himself up. Period."

"So what do you say?" Brian asked. "Am I worthy?"

"We don't know yet." Dom said, grinning. He pointed towards Brian "But you're in. Let's go."

Soon, the racers pulled their cars up to the starting line. Brian looked to his left to see Y/n standing by Letty and her cousin. She caught him looking, making her smirk and wave her fingers at him. He smiled and looked forward once again. He took a deep breath, trying to ready himself as much as he can. "You're gonna win." he said to himself. "I'm gonna win."

With Leon's call, Hector raised his arms. He paused for a moment as the engines roared.

Y/n attention was caught again by the sound of loud car engines. She smiled, ready for the race. Fire blew out from the tailpipes, making the crowd roar.

Hector's arms lowered as he said, "Go!" With that the cars sped off, their tires screeching making the crowd roar even louder.

Y/n was kind of disappointed that Brian didn't win the race, though it was covered up as she celebrated with her team.

"Here's what you want, right here." Hector said, his hands full of the money. "There you go." he slapped the money into Dom's hand with a grin.

"My sisters hold the money." Dom said, making Y/n smile with love. It wasn't unusual to call Y/n his sister. He has ever since they were little. "Count it." he continued, before picking Letty up by the waist. " And you're my trophy."

Dom put Letty back down on the ground just as Brian crossed the finish line. The blonde got out of his car, grinning as he made his way towards Dom.

"Was it fun?" Jesse asked sarcastically, as he started popping the hood of Dom's new car. People around them heckled and laughed as the car smoked. They cheered as Jesse opened the hood and more smoke blew out.

"What are you smiling about?" Dom asked in confusion upon seeing Brian's big bright grin. 

"Dude, I almost had you." Brian said, smiling widely, making the people around him cheer.

"You almost had me?" Dom replied, a smirk painted all over his face. "You never had me. You never had your car!"

"Ohhh!" the crowd roared. Brian's smile fell.

"Granny shifting, not double-clutchin' like you should." Dom continued, starting to circle the car. The crowd gave another loud roar. "You're lucky that hundred-shot of NOS didn't blow the welds on the intake. Almost had me? Now me and the mad scientist gotta rip apart the block and replace the piston rings you fried.

"You tell him, Dominic!" somebody shouted before another yelled, "Get outta here."

Brian looked towards Y/n, who gave him a small smile, as Dom continued to shred him. He put the hood down before he said, "Ask any racer, any real racer. It don't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning." The crowd roared with agreement. Dom soaked up the praise with his arms outstretched.

Suddenly, Leon started shouting that cops were on their way. Y/n's eyes widened before she pushed Mia towards her car. They climbed in quickly before they sped off. 

"What about Dom?" Mia asked, looking back.

"He'll be fine." she said. "He knows what he's doing more than we do." she then added in a mumble quietly, hoping Mia couldn't hear her. "Hopefully."

[bellybiologist]

TLDR: Verzi Need Money. Here Link for Helping Fill Money Bar with Money Juice. -Ko-fi -Commission form (Open again! Note the price increase!) -Patreon -Paypal.me

Okay! Verzi need money. So! Here's this.

This shitty meter here is just for a bit of transparency (Graphic design is NOT my passion), cuz people like to know where there money is going. This will fill up as with funds from my patreon (money I got this month is already there!), from commissions, and from any tips/extras given by kind souls in passing, and I need to hit these marks EVERY month for like… a year. (This is after fees and such of course, cuz god forbid we don't pay the middle-men their dues.)

I will update this thing as time passes so ya'll will know where I'm at. Reblogging/Sharing is welcome, encouraged, and greatly appreciated!

A bit of info for each section under the Readmore:

-Rent and Bills: The Most Important thing to Keep Verzi Kickin'! I pay half my apartment's now $1368 rent PLUS the utilities, which range from 100~200 bucks, splitting with my aunt who works 2 jobs to make sure she pays her half. Since my mom passed away from Pancreatic cancer in 2021, this has been rough since it used to be split 3 ways.

-Dental Costs: The face bone doctors want my money after drilling holes and pulling out the insides!! My face actually feels BETTER so i'm not as mad as I COULD be about this, but this needs to be paid for the next 12 months. (And they want MORE money to do a cleaning and I almost laughed. Like, no buddy you ain't getting 750 out of me when I don't even have a refrigerator.(See Below))

-Big Purchase+Credit Card bills: It wont pay off ALL my credit card debt, but it keeps me from falling behind. Since the passing of Michael and Fred (my microwave and refrigerator respectively) I need to make some big purchases so my kitchen functions. Michael has been successfully replaced by Mikaela, and we are still looking for Fred's replacement. Ms. Frida, the chest freezer who is literally older than I am (I am 33!!) and STILL functions is holding down the fort while we look for a refrigerator. We can live without a fridge thanks to her constant service, allowing us to keep frozens. Also, like, literally on the 30th of July, Monty the Monitor must've succumbed to heatstroke so i had to buy one of THOSE too for my computer setup. I will name all my appliances to cope.

-Extra+Taxes: Once we get here, I'm in the clear for the month's expenses! However!! Taxes are due in October. I DO NOT know how much that will be, and since the whole Covid relief thing that lessened business taxes ended last year, I MAY be paying for quite a bit!! Anything past this point will be prepping for Taxes AND forming a buffer for More Happenings (God forbid).

===== Rewards??? Rewards!! =====

I considered a Drive like other kink artists in these circles, but I don't like drives for several reasons and those reasons are why I've never done one in the past. Despite that, I STILL want to do something that at least feels like a reward or incentive for people keeping me Alive™, so I'm going to do some simple doodles/sketches, and possibly try to stream those doodles in my discord!

Every 100 bucks past the "Rent and Bills Paid" section (meaning at 900 dollars and onward), I will do a RANDOM drawing from any requests/suggestions from the pool made by people who threw some cash monies my way!

Suggestions can be sent in through Ko-fi messages, Paypal notes accompanying payments/donations/tips, and a Patreon-only post (they are always giving me money, so patrons have access by default!). Commissioners who send in the form can ALSO suggest something for the pool if they like! (there's a question on the form for it) Now, like all requests, it's ultimately up to my discretion on whether or not I will draw something, but I will still try to keep it random and let it be a roll of the dice (or a RNG app).

There is no minimum requirement either! So people throwing only $1 at me, buying only one Ko-fi, or dropping anything bigger are free to offer a suggestion. But please limit requests/suggestions to one entry per person.

Now, as to what these will and can be:

-It will be a simple lined sketch with one color or flat colors. Depends on how many need doing, how I'm feeling when I draw it and how complicated it is.

-It can be up to 2 characters, but they may be less refined compared to a single character one. They can be the same character in 2 different states, or 2 different characters interacting with each other.

-No private requests please! It will have to be something that can be publicly posted and that you're fine with being perceived by others.

-In terms of kinks/sizes/etc, it will be something that you'd normally see on this blog or for my work! Mileage may vary, but more extreme stuff that I'd normally avoid may be glossed over when I'm constructing the pools.

-Unlike commissions, these will not go through a WIP stage/be modified after the fact! They end up how they end up. If you wanna be nitpicky, please use this opportunity to order a full commission!

-You're allowed to suggest OCs as long as it's yours or its owner has given permission to draw them in the context I am known to put boys in!

[relatable-trxsh]

What We Came Here To Do Pt. 5

Episode 3 pt.1

A/N: Holy shit I'm so sorry this took me so goddamn long. But I'm back guys and I will be regularly (Hopefully) posting again for this story!

Summary: Y/N Kane is not doing well after getting speared but with a little help from her friends maybe she can survive this.

warning: Mentions of a knife, Surgery(?) lots of cussing, if you squint a little bit of fluff

Third person pov

Everyone in camp was on edge, You were in an immense amount of pain and made it everyone’s business. Charlotte, the youngest delinquent sent to earth was having a nightmare when Clarke walked by. She crouched next to her gently shaking charlotte awake.

“Hey hey hey, shh it's okay wake up.” Charlotte jolted awake, sitting upright, shaking terribly. “Hey, it's okay to be scared. You're Charlotte, right? I'm Clarke, do you wanna talk about it?” 

.”

“It's my parents, they were floated…they are all I see in my dreams.” Clarke gives the young girl a sympathetic look.

“Yeah I know the feeling, but I’d like to think down here we can live past all that, start over new and live a good life.” Charlotte wipes her face.

“Do you really think so?” Clarke stands dusting off her pants.

“I'm trying to. Now try and get some actual sleep.” 

She walks to where the water is then before making her way back to the dropship. 

“Hey princess.” Finn greets. Clarke hands him a container of water before sitting down.

“I'm worried about Y/n. She had a temperature and hasn't woken up yet. If I can't get advice from my mom soon I don't know what we’re going to do.” Finn signs looking down at you.

“Yeah, It worries me as well,” he says yawning.

“You should go get some rest, I'll keep an eye on her.” Finn is reluctant but nods because he was exhausted. 

Clarke walks over to where Monty was working. 

“How’s it going, Monty?” He lets out a sad sigh. 

“Not well. The bracelets are fried before I can even try and use them.” 

Clarke rubs her face in frustration, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Monty notices and places his hand on hers. 

“Look Clarke it’s gonna be okay.” 

“W-what if I can’t save her.” He gives Clarke's hand a firm but gentle squeeze. 

“Hey don’t think like that, negative thoughts bring negative actions. No pressure but you got this.” She takes a deep breath and nods bending down to hug him. Monty is thrown back at first but hugs her back.

“Thank you Monty” He nods into her shoulder. 

“Go get some sleep I’ll watch over her. Not like I’m gonna make any progress with these bracelets.” Clarke thankfully nods and goes to her tent. 

Monty walks over to you and sits down taking your hand in his. 

“Hey, they goober. I really need you to push through this. I know it’s for mostly selfish reasons because I don’t want you to die but also because we need you at this camp. I need your brains I know you would know how to contact the arch with these stupid bracelets. Hell if you were awake right now we’d probably have full power on this ship.” Your hand twitches a little and Monty smirks. “Cocky much.”

The next morning Finn walks into the ship and sees Monty asleep holding your hand. He goes to wake Monty but a hand stops him. 

“He was up all night watching her, Plus they are pretty precious.” Clarke chuckles. Finn smiles and looks at you for a long moment, sadness in his heart as he thought back to the first time he met you.

You came racing to the mechanic wing tripping over your feet as you call, no scream down the hall for Wick. Before you could ever watch where you were going you collided with someone both of you hitting the ground. “Jesus watch where you're going!” You rub your head and look up. 

“Sorry doofus I was in a hurry.” The boy with fluffy hair looks you up and down. 

“Who you calling doofus, doofus.” You couldn't help but giggle a little which caused the boy to smile and hold out his hand. 

“I'm Finn.” You grab his hand and give it a good shake.

“I'm Y/n” 

“So where were you going in such a hurry?” You both stand up and you do a little twirl. 

“I was going to show my best friend my new mechanics outfit!” 

“Mechanics outfit huh?” He smirks. You nod proudly. 

“I got into the program a month ago but my outfit just came.”

“Well go get 'em, tiger.”

“Finn…Finn?” Clarke waved her hand in front of his face.

“Uh sorry…” Clarke gives him a sad smile.

“We're gonna save her I have an idea., It's not a great idea and it's gonna be hard for everyone but it might actually save her. I'm going to cut out the infection.” Finn looks at Clarke a little scared. “We don't have any other option, Finn. We have to try.” He lets out a sigh before nodding.

“Okay, let's do it. I’ll wake up Monty you get what you need.”

About 45 minutes pass before Monty, Jasper, Clarke, and Finn stood around you, no one saying a word for a few minutes. Clarke is the first to speak.

“I really need you guys to make sure she doesn't move okay?” The boy's nod in agreement and Clarke takes in a deep breath before pressing the knife to your skin. Immediately You scream, jerking your body trying to get away from what was hurting you. “Hold her still!” They grab onto you tighter, watching in horror as their best friend screams.

Clarke was almost done when Bellamy comes running in.

“What the fuck are you guys doing to her?!” He didn't know when it happened but over the last few days, listening to the rest of the camp complain about You saying that they should just let you die had made him feel protective over you. So when he had gotten back from target practice with Murphy and your screams filled the camp his heart dropped to the bottom of his chest. 

“Saving her life!” Finn snapped trying to hold you still.

“She can't be saved.” Murphy says walking in behind Bellamy. Bellamy is silent for a moment and Murphy looks at him.

“You can't be serious, you really think they can save her?” Bellamy looks at Clarke.

“Do what you have to do, I’ll be crowd control.” Clarke nods at him, mentally thanking him and Murphy scoffs before Bellamy shoves him out of the dropship. 

Clarke goes back to work and soon she finishes. At some point, you passed out from the pain.

Monty and Jasper had left to take a nap so that left Clarke and Finn once again. Clarke pokes at the red moss on your open wound as she contemplated. 

“Whatever this red moss is, is clearly helping to heal her. I need to find more.” Finn nods. 

“Ill tell Monty and Jasper to watch over her, we can go on a little adventure.” 

As soon as Clarke and Finn leave, reluctantly letting Wells tag along, Bellamy walks into the dropship. 

“Hey can I can talk to her for a minute.” Monty and Jasper look at Bellamy.

“Uhh… sure want us to go outside?” Bellamy nods. They shrug and leave. Bellany takes a seat next to you and grabs your hand.

“Hey… sorry, I have visited since that night. I don't know why I'm so scared that you are gonna die but I am. I don't even know you but I feel so connected to you.” He leans down and kisses your hand. “Please don't die Y/n I need you.” He gets up and leaves not saying a word to Monty and Jasper. He leaves the camp with a hunting team, deciding he needed to kill something.

You continue to moan and scream in pain. Monty and Jasper just whisper to you and hold your hands trying to calm you down. 

Outside the drop ship, Murphy is going crazy. He stands up knife in his hand. 

“That's it, I can't take this anymore, she's fucking dead.” Mbege looks up at Murphy.

“I thought Bellamy said to leave her alone?” Murphy scoffs.

“I don't fucking care.” Octavia gets up from where she was sitting next to  Atom and books it to the dropship. 

“Murphy… he's gonna come…and kill Y/n” Monty shoots up from his seat and runs to the hatch, sitting on it just as Murphy tries to come in. 

“Jasper, Octavia get me something thing to block the hatch!” They search around as Murphy pounds on the door.

“LET ME IN MONTY SHE NEEDS TO DIE!”

“NO!” Octavia finally finds something big enough. 

“Got it, move!” She places it and the three of the watch the hatch, it moves but keeps Murphy out. 

A full day goes by before Clarke, Finn, Wells Bellamy come back with the moss and atoms dead body.

Octavia runs out there. 

“What the hell happened?!” 

“There was a fog. We all got caught in it but looks like some didn't find shelter.” Finn says sadly. 

“I'm sorry but I need to get to Y/n. Octavia, I’m so sorry.”

She nods and gives Clarke's hand a squeeze. Bellamy looks that the other delinquents.

“Get Clarke whatever she needs.”

“Jesus I was starting to think you guys died!” Jasper said exasperated. Finn sighs.

“There was a weird green fog, we did almost die.” Monty starts asking questions to which Finn answers the best he came about the fog while Clarke starts applying the red moss.

Bellamy looks at Murphy

“Anyone here besides Atom die?” Murphy does his signature scoff.

“No.”

“How's Y/n?”

“Tried to take her out but your psycho little sister and he stupid frie-” Bellamy lunges forward and grabs him by the collar.

“My what?” He says angrily.

“Your little sister.” Bellamy shoves him to the ground.

“That's what I thought, and if you ever try to lay hands on Y/n again you're done.”

~Taglist~

@gaymansruse @severa-kane @slut4bradley

[typingtess]

His plan to have them leave the cabin in Mammoth Lakes at 6AM so they’d be back in LA just in the early afternoon. While he was on vacation from NCIS, Deeks was working for the LAPD at the Rose Parade tomorrow and then the Rose Bowl.

The undercover unit had to send a few people over every January 1st to help with two huge events so Deeks always volunteered. Showing up for something most of the rest of the squad hated got Deeks some points from all of them. Plus, Deeks liked the parade – his Mom took him every year as a kid because New Year’s Eve was something old Gordo sort of controlled. Now, he was paid time-and-a-half to watch the people watch the parade. Nobody getting hurt means he did his job.

After the Parade, LAPD transports the officers working the parade to the Rose Bowl. He got moved to the VIP area after an old college buddy who worked in sports facility management saw him a few years ago. He’s there undercover – mixing and mingling with the VIPs - making sure nobody who shouldn’t be there somehow got in and making sure those who are supposed to be there behave. With Oregon playing, Deeks hoped to meet Phil Knight. Maybe he could get a pair of Jordans out of it.

But the plan to get back to LA took a turn around 8:30ish when they were on 395. Kensi saw a Denny’s and well, suddenly a Lumberjack Slam was in her future. And obviously his since he was driving. She got it as takeout with what looked like a gallon of orange juice. There was some breakfast sausage for a grateful Monty. He got a muffin, some fruit and a cup of coffee.

Another pitstop to clean out the truck and take Monty for a bio-break had them about an hour behind Deeks’s mental schedule.

“So, do we have a plan for the office?”

“Plan?”

“You know, for when we go back.”

“Well, I guess we go to the office, say hello to Callen and Sam. Ask Sam if Aiden is still home. Ask Callen if Joelle is still in the picture – probably need to find a better way to say that.”

“Deeks, be serious.”

“Well, you didn’t let me get to Nell or Eric yet. Or Hetty. Or Granger. I do wonder how he’s doing.”

“Be. Serious.”

“I. Am.”

“What are we going to tell them about us?”

“As little as possible.”

“That’s not in your nature.”

“That is exactly my nature.”

“Deeks, I say this with great affection, you talk all the time.”

“Thank you for the great affection. And I do talk all the time. But I’m pretty good at saying very little by saying a whole lot.”

Kensi sat for a second, opened her mouth and decided against whatever she was going to say. “So we say nothing.”

“Nobody’s business.”

“So our secret.”

“Not a secret, just not something I want to discuss with Eric, Hetty, Ty in IT.”

“What if Hetty wants to know?”

“Hetty’s not in the position she use to be. For good and for bad.”

“What does that mean?”

“She probably can’t send you halfway around the world again but I could go back to LAPD without Director Vance breaking a sweat.”

“So we keep things quiet.”

“No, we don’t flaunt things. Things were going on before this trip, things will keep going on after this trip.”

“That wasn’t firmed up before.”

He turned his head and looked right at her. “It was always firm for me.”

“Me too,” Kensi said with a big smile.

They drove a little while with the area looking a lot more like the California they knew and a lot less like the mountains.

“So what do I say if Trudy from accounting asks about my vacation.”

“That Trudy is the office busybody. Probably comes with being named Trudy.”

“And if I don’t have an answer, she’s fill in the blanks.”

Imitating Kensi, Deeks started, “Trudy, I went skiing with Deeks and Monty. And snowboarding. I was bad at that.”

“That’s a lie!”

“The bruises on your ass disagree.”

“They’re not bruises.”

“Kens…”

“The rental snowboard was cheap.”

“It’s a poor craftsman who blames his tools,” Deeks chided before going back to his Kensi imitation. “I went skiing and snowboarding with Deeks and Monty. He rented this great two-bedroom cabin right at the foot of the mountain. Two bedrooms are totally the way to go. We had such a great time.”

“We did.”

“And she doesn’t need to know that Monty used the other bedroom because the cabin stove in our room and the fireplace in the living room were bad for him.”

Kensi was quiet for a minute. “You would have been dangerous as a fulltime lawyer.”

He smiled. “The secret is to tell the truth, just tell the truth in the way that is best for your case.”

[spoopy-arcade]

(Sorry in advance - this ask ended up being long. Swap AU my beloved <3)

Swap AU Cassie is SO BABY……. would love more of her and your beautiful human Roxy.

Although - and forgive me if I ramble a bit here - this takes place in a Ruin equivalent time yeah? Wouldn’t Cassie be more banged up? It’d be sad but she probably would be right? :[

It’s okay, I’m sure Roxy could fix her up. She probably does her own car maintenance ‘cause she’s a badass.

Ooh, now I’m also wondering what a base-game Swap would be like…

Lol, it should take place during the day and Freddy’s trying to smuggle Gregory out, and shenanigans ensue! (Possibly Gregory is due to be scrapped, so Freddy wants to keep the clearly sentient, slightly feral-acting child-like robot from that fate. He got emotionally attached <3)

Of course, if Roxy and Freddy are visiting there then there is prolly some attraction attracting lone adult patrons.. idk what that means for changes to the theme of the Megaplex.. But that’s not important right now!

Also, the main obstacle for Freddy would just generally be that he is trying to steal a child-sized robot in broad daylight while the place is possibly open/at least has workers there that he has to dodge. Good luck to the big guy.

Actually, the now-humans could be workers at the Plex. Like say instead of having tons of bots all over, they only had a few (like Cassie, Gregory, and possibly Vanny?) that were designed specifically to seem/be completely harmless, and more childlike. Cassie and Gregory could’ve been made to attend birthday parties (especially of lonely/upset kids), and Vanny could be a playful and friendly older figure who helps lost kids and cheers up anyone who’s feeling down. (I’d probably include Vanessa as a security program assigned to Vanny because. Security guard. Plus we’ve already seen that with Moon.)

In this case Gregory would probably still be messed up and act weird and get retired and shut down to be scrapped for parts, leading to Freddy finding him and rebooting him and then deciding to take him home once he figures out what’s up.

That kinda begs the question of what everyone’s jobs would be in the Plex, ‘cause how would Freddy find Gregory? And why would Cassie and Roxy be close in this version?

Well I have some answers to that!! ….I have no idea what Freddy’s job would be! He has. Very little by way of interesting character traits. Same with Monty. Why are the men so uninteresting in this game. Maybe Freddy’s a manager, since he was the leader of the band? Maybe he was taking inventory when he found Gregory? Idk!

Chica is definitely easier to pick for because she actually has distinct traits, and gets the obvious choice of working in the kitchen/bakery. (On that note, this kind of feels like a lower tech AU with less automated jobs, so managerial work/cooking/other tasks that are automated in SB I’ll give to people lol)

Would it be a dick move to make Monty a janitor? Lmao I swear I don’t hate him but idk what to give him at this point. Night guard? He could be a night guard.

….do I need to assign Bonnie a job? Wouldn’t he technically be dead? (He’s associated with the wet floor bots right? He could be a janitor.)

Who I REALLY have ideas for is everybody’s favorite, Roxy!! Saved her for last cause I knew I’d go on about her. She would totally be the maintenance gal for the race track - keeping the karts in working order, making sure the track is safe to drive on, etc. I imagine she could also do general maintenance, but her main area she works in is the racetrack.

As for how she and Cassie met. Well. Roxy is shown to be a very insecure person in the games. So what if the people she knew were busy and forgot/missed her birthday? And a little bunny, built for accompanying lonely and upset folks on their birthday, sees how upset she is, and overhears Roxy talking to herself and mention her birthday?

Well, I’m just saying, that little bun might just go hunt down a spare small cake from the bakery to put some candles in, and saunter her way into the nearly empty room to place it right in front of her new friend, smile, and say “Happy birthday, Roxy!”

The thems <3 I hope any of this makes sense I am just Thinking About Them…..

OMG THESE ARE SUCH GOOD IDEAS ANON. BIG BRAINED !!! I love the job choices for the gang (Monty being a janitor/nightguard is so funny 😭) and Vanny being along with animatronic Cassie and Gregory is rlly good, it's something I definitely I thought of! (She would be a rabbit ofc)

And that last part IS SO CUUTE !! I need to draw young Roxy with Cassie.....

And to answer your first question: Yes, it takes place in ruin and she would be banged up. But!! I decided not to draw her ruined version because I wanted to show off her design, if that makes sense?? :0 when I do expand on this au, I'll change it in the future which will be PAINFUL :(

Ty for sharing these with me, anon!!