#plus all my other plants are toxic to cats and have to be kept away from them

[bleaksqueak]

Whew look at you go! Had a small problem with aphids a lil while back, but after a whole lot of diligence they were banished. Still have some of the damaged leaves visible but look at all the healthy new growth!

You may be trying to take over my desk, but I couldn’t ask for a better art companion. The moss in the planter is happy with the frequent watering and shade, but the impatiens is trying to devoir the terrarium moss now too

My oxalis is thriving still, too. But it has its own space above me and isn’t trying to reach out and say hello as much.

Okay, this has been your semi annual habitat update. Back to painting.

Also, hello new followers! Thank you for liking my art.

[wingsofkpop]

Finding SKZ - 6: FL00

pairing(s): Hybrid!Bang Chan x Reader, Hybrid!SKZ x Reader

genre: Hybrid!AU, Dystopian!AU, lots of Angst, spoonful of Fluff, eventual Smut

warning(s): Mature language, verbal abuse, mentions of physical abuse, flashbacks, mentions of death

word count: 5k

synopsis: After rescuing an abandoned hybrid from his fate of death, he has one other favor to ask of you. Not only do you have to find his eight other hybrid brothers, but you have to keep them safe from the deadly dangers of your city: Miroh

chapter directory 

The Third World War sparked almost a century ago after the leak of a secret terrorist operation against what was known in the Old World as Europe. To this day, the origination of the group, nicknamed R.U.I.N.S., is still unknown. Members of R.U.I.N.S. first began their nuclear attack in London, Britain, where they wiped out nearly 60% of the population as well as completely demolished the lands. The remaining 40% either fled to neighboring countries or died out due to the dangerous aftermaths of the bomb, usually sickness from lingering toxic chemicals or starvation. R.U.I.N.S. moved on to spread the genocide to the rest of Europe and were met with strong resistance from world superpowers such as Saudi Arabia, China, Japan, the United States and Russia. Unfortunately, the influence of the terrorist group spread and planted corruption in the superpower’s government, which would eventually lead to the outbreak of a full fledged nuclear war that killed 95% of the world population, known today as the Mass Genocide… 

You lean away from your laptop screen with a sigh, a dull ache lingering within your eyes. For the past few hours, you had been writing, more like trying to write the research paper your professor had assigned a couple days ago. You wanted to get it out of the way in order to study for the rest of your finals which started this upcoming Friday. 

You meant to do it during the weekend, but you were a little preoccupied with helping your two new additions settle in. The office/extra bedroom had become way too crowded, especially considering you could only fit a twin bed and a tiny air mattress in there. As a solution, you went out and purchased one of those pull out sofas. The one in your living room was old and rotting anyway so it didn’t make much of a difference to you. Plus, it was either that or give up your own bed, and you don’t know if you’re ready to do that just yet. 

Lifting your arms high above your head, your tense muscles loosen as the sickening cracks of underused bones enter your ears. Relaxed, you slide your laptop off your lap and do the same with your legs. Just as you were about to force yourself back into the historical world, your bedroom door opens.

You lift your gaze to watch Hyunjin walk through the doorway, two mugs within his hands. He offers you the pastel yellow one, which you accept with a sigh of gratitude. The fragrance of your favorite tea enters your nostrils and your stomach is already filled with the ghostly warmth of the drink. After taking a well-earned sip, you hum, “Thanks, Jinnie.” 

“You’re welcome, noona. Woojin-hyung said you haven’t left your room in hours.” 

“Yeah,” You nod, gesturing to your computer, “I have to write this paper before Friday. Sorry, I haven’t really been around that much today.” 

Hyunjin shakes his head while taking a sip from his own cup, “Don’t apologize. We know how busy you are this week.” 

Your heart melts at the young hybrid’s words. With a smile, you reach up to caress Hyunjin’s cropped ears. The fur beneath your fingertips is like velvet. Hyunjin releases a breath of satisfaction, leaning more into your pet. Originally, you had been wary to touch his ears, seeing as Chan had made the comment that his original owner altered their shape. But Hyunjin had quickly waved your worry away and welcomed your affection. As did most of the boys. 

“I see who the favorite is in this family.” Seungmin grumbles from the doorway, his eyes narrowed in annoyance. “You’ve barely been here three days and are already getting all the attention.”

“It’s not my fault I’m cuter than you,” Hyunjin chuckles, saluting his younger brother with a lift of his mug. 

Seungmin sends him a playful growl before crossing the room and plopping on your other side. He pulls your phone from his pocket and points to the screen, “I think I found more about Felix. For real this time.” 

When Seungmin said he found Felix last Saturday morning, it wasn’t him. Nor were the other four Lee Felix’s he found. Since you kind of ran out of options, you guys agreed on the conclusion that whoever bought him probably changed his last name or something. That really hasn’t made your search any easier, considering there were a lot of Lee Felixs as it is, but there are even more Felixs. 

“Oh yeah? Let’s see.” 

“So I found three possible houses,” Seungmin pulls up a web page depicting the owners of a home near where your dad lives. He allows you to skim through the information while continuing, “The first one has records of a cat hybrid called Felix that has lived with them for about a year now. The other two are the same, except one records residence for about five months and the last one of two and a half years. All of them are how old Felix would be now.”

Hyunjin hums, “You’re sure one of these could be him?” 

Seungmin shrugs, “Surer than the last ones. It’s not a hundred percent but it doesn’t hurt to try.” 

“Okay,” You nod and turn back to face the beagle hybrid. “What’s the plan this time?” 

“I was talking to Woojin-hyung and Chan-hyung and they thought it’d be best if we split up and go to the homes ourselves.” 

Hesitance immediately fills your veins at his recount. It’s not that you were against going straight to the houses, you’ve done that before, you just didn’t like the whole ‘splitting up’ part. The idea of some of the hybrids traveling through the streets of Miroh without you at their side didn’t sit well within your stomach. In fact, it made you sick. Look at the whole thing that happened with Chan back at the circus. You really didn’t want a repeat of that again. 

“I don’t know, Min… That’s a little-” 

“-Woojin-hyung would go with Hyunjinnie, and Channie-hyung with me. You’ll have nothing to worry about, noona.” 

Your eyebrows furrow, “So that means…” 

Hyunjin nods, “You’re with Minho-hyung. Channie-hyung originally wanted to go with you, but the rest of us thought that it would be better divided this way.” 

In your thoughts, you fail to notice the knowing look both Hyunjin and Seungmin send one another, complete with raised eyebrows and mischievous smirks. Since you were paired with the coyote hybrid, that means you have to be with him… alone. Lucky for you, Minho kept his promise and didn’t tell anyone about what happened in the alleyway or about the things you said. But that doesn’t mean he’s not going to inquire about such things further on his own terms. 

“I mean… I guess that’s fine.” You shrug, glancing toward the screen of your laptop. “Whatever works.” 

Seungmin nods, “Good. Chan said you don’t have class or work on Tuesday, so were figured we could try then.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you reach for your computer and position your fingers across the keys. “Sorry guys, I really need to finish this.”

“It’s fine, noona.” Hyunjin sends you a sweet smile before tugging Seungmin toward the door. “Don’t stress yourself out and enjoy your drink.” 

Only when the door shuts behind them with a click do you free the building anxiety budding within your chest. You toss the laptop away once again and bury your face into your palms. A deep sigh spills from your lips and echoes through your bedroom. The sound couldn’t compare to the loudness of your thoughts. 

You’ve kept everything a secret for so long, but like most, you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep it forever. 

*** 

Tuesday came a lot quicker than you really wanted it to. Then again, you did spend most of your time suffering through schoolwork. 

Before everyone went their separate ways, Chan made sure to give Minho a long spewl of making sure nothing dangerous happens to you. You, still embarrassed about the whole bathroom encounter, didn’t have it in you to relay your favorite ‘I can take care of myself’ line. It’s not like you were purposely avoiding Chan, you just happened to have a lot of work you needed to get done… C’mon, you can’t even lie to yourself. 

Your original plan was to stay away from Chan for a bit to let whatever spur-of-the-moment hormones dissipate. But your plan definitely backfired because the longer you were away from him, the more you thought about him. His soft, blonde curls. His gentle touch. His deep brown, shimmering eyes. And the more these thoughts took over your mind, the greater your fear grew. You were supposed to be protecting him and the boys. And thinking about him in such ways was only doing more harm than good. Even if you were behind closed doors, the two of you would still get hurt. They couldn’t stay with you forever. They had to leave someday. 

Still, you so desperately wanted to be selfish. 

A blaring horn awakens you from your thoughts and reminds you of your current setting. You were sat in the back of a taxi with Minho beside you, currently staring out the window. His fluffy auburn, pointed ears were hidden beneath the hood of a new black sweatshirt you bought him. When you gave it to him, he claimed he didn’t want it and would never wear it. Guess he forgot. 

“The sweatshirt looks nice,” You murmur softly, reaching across the space between the two of you to tug on his sleeve. Minho flinches away from your touch and turns his head to send you a warning glance. Defeated, you retract your hand and retire your attention to the passing scenery outside your own window. So much for good terms. 

Bungalow houses pass by your vision in blurs, each one more different than the last. The Felix you and Minho were heading to see actually lived near your father’s neighborhood. Obviously, you wouldn’t be paying him and his family a visit, but it’s nice to see familiarity for once. Plus if things go bad, you actually had transportation to get home. 

The cab driver pulls the car to a stop after a couple more houses and a smaller, red brick and pine wooded home stands in front of you. From its size, you could tell it didn’t have too many bedrooms, maybe one or two, and on top of that, not many rooms at all. The front yard was well kept and filled with various decorations like creepy gnomes and plastic flamingos. There was a single Jeep in the driveway. A good sign. 

You pay your driver and follow Minho as he exits the vehicle. You almost want to laugh as he eyes the lawn ornaments with distaste. You settle with a hidden smile instead. 

The two of you make your way up the driveway, silent except for the gravel crunching beneath your every step. Minho had not spoken a word since you left the apartment and it was beginning to frustrate you. You knew he still had questions, so why wouldn’t he just ask? Why does he have to let you suffer? 

“We’re college students, remember? And we’re interviewing them for a research project.” You turn to see if Minho acknowledged your reminder at all, but once again, you’re only met with the side of his face. A huff pushes past your lips and you quicken your pace to the front door, Minho allows you to go ahead and you wonder if he’s purposely doing it to make you wait. 

You shake your head, “Ready?” 

The hybrid just shrugs. 

That’s answer enough for you to raise your hand and rap your knuckles against the door. You barely wait thirty seconds until the obstacle swings open and reveals a short, pudgy and older woman. Her face comforts to confusion, before a bright smile stretches across her face. 

“Well isn’t this just a nice surprise!?” 

Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to you, too high-pitched and quirky. You conjure up a kind grin of your own and gesture between both you and Minho, “I’m sorry to bother you, ma’am, but my friend and I are doing a research project for our Biology class on hybrids living in residentials. We were wondering if you had one-?” 

“-Oh yes! We do!” The woman turns back into the house and shouts something that has your ear drums splintering. You glance warily toward your companion before turning back just in time to see another figure enter the doorway. 

And your face goes pale at the sight.  

You didn’t know exactly what Felix looked like, but from Chan’s brief description, this hybrid looked pretty damn close. His hair was a shade of bright blonde, bringing more emphasis to the orange cat ears emerging from the sides of his head. He had a kind face with big brown eyes and rose colored lips. You could also see lines of freckles dotting across his cheekbones and down the arch of his nose. 

It has to be him. 

“This is Felix. Say hi to the nice students, honey.” 

Felix doesn’t say a word, his eyes wide and centered straight at Minho. You peer over to see the coyote hybrid with a similar look, all except his lips were compressed into a straight line. You start to reach over to ground him, but a sudden yelp has your head snapping back toward the other pair. 

“I’m not going to ask again, you little brat. Greet our guests.” Unlike before, her voice is mellow and full of warning. Your eyes trail down to see the woman clutching Felix’s wrist, his skin around her fingers a stark white. Felix inhales an unsteady breath before stuttering in a deep voice, “H-Hello…” 

The woman smiles and nudges him into the house, “There we go. Now go be useful and make some tea. Come in, my dears, let’s talk about this project in the living room.”

Before you can decline her offer, the woman was already grabbing your wrist and dragging you through the doorway. You send Minho a terrified glance, who quickly lurches forward to grab your other hand. He shakes his head, “Miss, we don’t-” 

“-Nonsense. We’ll discuss your project over some tea and cookies.” She doesn’t take no for an answer and quite literally, pulls both you and Minho inside. She seats the two of you in an old fashioned parlor filled with victorian style decorations. The couch you sit on is harder than a rock and very uncomfortable. Minho’s face gave away his pain too. You could only think of his poor tail right now. 

The woman takes a seat in an armchair across from the two of you, pushing her glasses up her hooked nose. She smiles again and speaks, “You’ll have to forgive me, it’s been a while since I’ve had any visitors. Now tell me about this project.” 

You go into this long detailed discussion about this fake project both you and Minho rehearsed beforehand, or you at least did. The woman believes every single word that leaves your lips, her eyes never straying from your talking form. You passed the strange feeling in your gut off as anxiety for Felix. But the goosebumps on your arms claimed otherwise. 

“How wonderful. I’ll help you with anything you need!” The woman leans forward in her seat, reaches toward you and thumbs a loose lock of your hair. “My, what a pretty, little thing you are.” 

Instantly, you recoil from her touch and scoot closer to Minho. You laugh awkwardly, trying not to physically cringe, “Oh, thank you…” 

“My son would think you’re just absolutely divine. You should meet him!” 

Minho feverishly shakes his head, “I don’t think-” 

“-He gets home at five. You can stay until then.” The woman grins radiantly, oblivious to the expressions of shock on both you and Minho’s face. When Felix enters the room, she turns her head and nods, “Ah, good boy, Felix. Put the tray on the coffee table.” 

Felix does as he’s asked, placing his porcelain tray on the table separating Minho and you from the adjacent woman. The cat hybrid goes about pouring a couple cups of tea and plating some cookies, his orange tail limp behind him. 

“Cream or sugar, love?” 

You shake your head, “Uh, no thank you.” 

Felix hands you one of the teacups, his fingers brushing yours. You lift your eyes to meet his gaze and you feel your heart practically break in half. You’ve never seen so much sadness in a pair of eyes before, and it made you think back to how the woman was grabbing him. You immediately weren’t in the mood for tea. 

“Perfect. Now let’s get on with this little interview.” The woman leans back in her chair and snaps her fingers. Felix sinks to his knees where he’s stood and takes his own seat on the floor. You eye the vacant chair next to the woman but don’t say a word. 

Minho clears his throat, discomfort laced through the sound, and nods, “O-Okay… Well, how long have you been living with Felix?” 

“Oh no, dear, you have that wrong.” The woman shakes a single gnarled finger toward the hidden hybrid, “Felix has been working for me for almost a year now.” 

You can’t help but glance toward the boy. His eyes haven’t moved from the floor. 

“Right…” Minho hums, “...How has that been?” 

“Oh well, he tries, I suppose.” Your hostess shrugs and sends Felix a disappointed look. “In my opinion, human slaves were much better than hybrid ones.” 

You try to suppress the anger burning within your core by digging your fingernails into your palms. Swallowing the retorts on your tongue, you send Minho yet another wary glance and force yourself to listen to the older woman’s words, “Sometimes we have some hiccups here and there, but-... Darling, aren’t you going to drink your tea?” 

“I will, I just-”

“-Take a sip, love. Just one.” The intensity of the woman’s gaze sends chills coursing throughout your body. The weight of the cup between your fingers seemed to grow heavier and heavier. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Felix slightly shaking his head. His eyes wide with fright. 

You shake your head with a small laugh, “Actually, I’m not-”

“-It’s rude to deny your hostess, darling. I said drink the tea.” 

At her tone of voice, your hands began to shake. Memories flash within your mind like a firework show, a familiar voice taking over hers. Though your logic and common sense were screaming no, your body disobeys and soon the bitter liquid is cascading like gasoline down your throat. You regretted the decision as soon as you felt the tea sit within the depths of your stomach. 

The smile returns to the woman’s face, “See, was that so bad? How was it?” 

You nod, “Good. Very good.” 

“Wonderful.” 

A tense silence overtakes the atmosphere. You feel yourself cowering beneath the woman’s still smiling face. You slide your hand over to Minho’s knee, squeezing at the flesh in warning. He covers your hand with his, returns a gentle squeeze then rises from his seat, “I think we’re actually going to be leaving now.”

The woman pouts, “Already? My son hasn’t come home yet...” 

“Miss, your son isn’t coming home.” All eyes turn to at Felix’s deep voice. He shrinks beneath the glare his owner sends his way, but he continues to speak, “He died a couple months ago. You know that.” 

Goosebumps spread across your skin at the absolute fire burning within the woman’s eyes. She growls, “What do you know, you useless punk. You know nothing.”  

“Don’t talk to him like that.” More gooseflesh arises when you turn to peer back at Minho. His second set of teeth was visible, showcasing his sharp incisors. He bares them toward her and hisses, “Felix-ssi, you’re coming with us. Let’s go.” 

“You can’t! My son! I swear to the Lord I will…” 

As you’re rising from your seat, a sudden wave of dizziness rushes over your body and dulls your senses. You could vaguely hear the woman threatening to call the police before your knees buckle and you collapse into Minho. The hybrid catches you, his face immediately contorting to concern, “(Y/N)-ah, what’s wrong?... (Y/N)-ah!” 

“The tea. I laced it with a sedative.” Felix rushes forward, helping Minho keep you upright. Tears of panic were streaming down his face, he sobs, “I’m so sorry, hyung! I had to!” 

“Shit, just… Hey!” 

The last thing you hear before fading into darkness was a large crash and Felix’s scream. 

***

You’re in a closet. The closet. Darkness cradling you like a blankets. The shadows are your guardians. They keep you hidden. They keep you safe. 

Crash after crash. Scream after scream. Covering your ears does nothing. The sounds are engraved within your mind. You can’t escape. 

“Somebody help me!...” 

“Come here you fucking slut! I’ll teach you a fucking lesson!” 

“Please! Stop-ah!...” 

Tears spill down your cheeks like blood. You hide your face in the crease of your knees, which are pulled to your chest. It muffles your helpless sobs. In the dark. You are the darkness. 

“(Y/N)!...”

“Shut up, pathetic whore! I’ll put you in the fucking ground, pathetic piece of shit!” 

This nightmare will never end. Your demons follow everywhere you go. 

You can’t escape. 

“(Y/N)-ah?” Your eyes snap open at the call of your name. Minho’s face enters your vision which makes you realize you weren’t in a closet at all. He tilts his head, “(Y/N)-ah? Can you hear me?” 

You nod, “Y-Yeah. I can.” 

“Can you sit up?” 

“I think so.”

With Minho’s support, you’re able to easily maneuver your body into a sitting position. A throbbing headache hits you head on (mind the pun). You clutch your head with a groan, feeling sick all of a sudden. It’s like that time you woke up after bar-hopping with your friends. Worst hangover ever. 

When you manage to adjust to the pain, you take the chance to look at your current setting. You were in your bedroom, in your bed. Felix was sat in a chair a couple feet away from both you and Minho, his concerned eyes directed your way. 

“I shouldn’t have drank that goddamn tea,” You groan, massaging at your pulsing temples. “What happened?” 

“After you collapsed, shit hit the fan.” At Minho’s retort, you notice the small gash decorating his forehead. It didn’t look like it needed stitches which was a good thing. A really good thing considering the situation you are in. “We were able to lock her in a room long enough to get the hell out of there. I wanted to take you to the hospital, but Felix-ssi said no.” 

You shake your head, “But why? I-I don’t understand…” 

“She’s troubled…” Felix’s deep voice wrenches your attention away from Minho. At your gaze, he looks away, almost as if he couldn’t meet your eyes. “Ever since her son died, she’s been so…” 

“Bat shit crazy?” Minho offers.

The other hybrid shakes his head, “She just… wanted companionship… Even so, I’m so sorry.” 

“You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart.” You wince as you swing your legs over to sit upright on the side of your bed and better face the male. You send him a soft smile, “It wasn’t your fault.” 

Felix nods, but you can still read the guilt all across his face. You decide not to press and turn back to Minho, “Did you let the others know?” 

He nods, “Yeah. Everyone’s outside. Channie-hyung wanted to come in, but we thought it would be better for you if we were the ones to explain what happened.” 

You try not to notice how your heart flutters at the mention of the wolf hybrid. You clear your throat and shrug, “Yeah, I get it. Thanks.” 

The two of them take your statement of gratitude as a permit to leave the room. Felix meets your eyes before he steps through the doorway, almost as if he were about to say something, but decides against it and completely rushes from the room. Minho also seems to hesitate, locking eyes with you before following his feline brother.

You didn’t like the knowing look you saw within his eyes. 

Before you can think too much into it, another figure enters the room. Immediately, your cheeks start to burn and your heart race began to pick up. You will yourself to remain calm as the newcomer makes his way across the room to sit on the mattress beside you. Your attempt, though a good effort, fails. Because when you lift your gaze to connect with his, you’re immediately done for. 

“Hi…” 

Chan chuckles, “Hi…” 

You purse your suddenly dry lips, licking at the course flesh. You try to think of something else to say, not liking how the silence matched the beat of your heart. No tangible thoughts entered your mind though. Which is why you’re thankful Chan was the one to break the silence, “How are you feeling?” 

“Oh, I’m fine.”  

“You sure? You were asleep for a while.” He lifts his hand to caress your hair back, his hand trailing fiery touches down your cheek. With his thumb, he rubs the skin just beneath your right eye, probably taking the dark lines beneath them. “Four or five hours actually.” 

“Trust me, Chan, I’m okay.” You chuckle, grab his wrist and pull his hand away from your face. Your gaze trails down to your lap as you swallow at the stone in your throat. “I’m okay.” 

As the quiet stretches on, you can’t help but think about when you were last alone with Chan. When you could feel his hands on your skin. His breath on your cheek. His lips… 

“Stop.” 

Chan furrows his brows, “What?” 

You shake your head, “N-Nothing… It’s nothing. I just-” 

“-(Y/N).” Your rambling ceases when the hybrid places both hands on your elbows, pulling you toward his body. “What’s wrong?” 

Putting your hands against his chest to avoid him pulling your bodies any closer, you shake your head feverishly, “We can’t do this.” 

“Do what?” 

“You know what, Chan.” You sigh, “This… whatever this is.” 

Chan remains confused with his silver ears pulled back, his eyes a blend of concern and wonder. He removes one of his hands to lift your chin up, forcing your eyes to meet. The more the feelings inside you stir, the greater your fear grows. You feel like you’ll suffocate. But fly at the same time just sat in his arms. 

“Your heart is beating really fast.” Chan murmurs, placing his free hand right over your pulsing organ. His other travels up to cup your cheek again, your face fitting perfectly in his palm. He sends you a small smile, “Don’t fight it, (Y/N). Don’t be afraid.” 

Tears well in the corners of your eyes. You don’t know why you’re crying, but you do know that you can’t stop. Each tear creates a river down your skin. A river of fear, sorrow and love. You don’t like feeling this vulnerable. Especially in front of him. Your whisper is filled with raw emotion, only audible enough for him to hear, “I don’t want to hurt you, Chan… And I don’t want to get hurt…” 

Not again.

“Do you trust me?” 

You close your eyes with a sob, more droplets escaping your eyes. Even so, you can’t help the smile that contorts upon your lips, “More than anyone I have ever known.” 

“Then will you trust me if I tell you that I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to kiss you right now.” Chan laughs, and the breath from his joy paints stars across your skin. You feel as if you were beneath a trance, only seeing him and only wanting to see him. “(Y/N)...” 

He leans closer and closer until your lips are barely centimeters apart. One slip, and they’d touch. But he doesn’t deplete the space, and instead murmurs softly, “The world has taken anything and everything from me… And maybe it’s wrong, but for once, I want to be selfish…

“But I need to know you feel the same way.” His chocolate eyes bore into your own, and you swear you can see another universe hidden within the irises. A universe full of love, and life, and pain, and even death. You don’t see what the world chooses to see, but something that it chooses not to see: A beautiful creature that has lost everything, and is slowly gaining it all back. 

The two of you aren’t so different in that sense. 

Defeated, you shake your head, “This is a bad idea.” 

Chan smirks, “Maybe. But an even worse idea is not kissing you this time.” 

“Then kiss me.” You whisper, “I trust you.” 

No sooner had you spoken the words did Chan diminish the remaining space and connect your lips to his. All hesitation and panic from before disappears in the actual act, and you can’t help but lean more into him, craving more of his touch. Your hands fly into his soft curls, like the many times you’ve wanted to before, and your bodies just mold into one. You’ve kissed a couple other people over your years, but none have ever felt like this. And as cliche as it sounds, you could spend hours just kissing Chan’s lips. 

Your first kiss felt like hours honestly. And even when it ended, you could still feel the ghost of his lips hovering over yours. The two of you simply stare into one another’s eyes, before Chan kisses you. Once. Twice. Again and again until it may have actually been hours that passed. You didn’t want it to end any time soon. 

It may have been selfish, but you didn’t care. You felt safe. Peaceful. Loved. In ways that you’ve never felt safe, peaceful and loved before. With Chan, the pain life has brought and will continue to bring dissipates into passion and longing. It was as if the world only held the two of you. 

Nothing else existed. Just him and you.

[ask-de-writer]

HICCUPS!  : MLP Fan Fiction : A Grumpy Goat >tail<

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HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat >tail<

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

Cover art by @wind-the-mama-cat​

16440 words

© 2019 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 11/30/18

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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Characters:

Grumpy Goat and usual cast

Thomas/and/or/Dashie Writer – remote controlled T82

Wind, the Mama Cat

Victor Mordenheim  - Mad Doctor

Krystal Dragoness “KD” Wingless dragon - artist

Fume Hood Unicorn, a bit small-Forensic Chemist

Jinni and Sassy vampire and succubus

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It was being a quiet day out on the ledge in front of my cave.  We were sitting on a bench, out in the sun, rereading Daring Do and the Secret of the Appleoosa Cave.  The stout iron sheeting that blocked the entrance to my cave was warm behind us.

The lovely Coalsmoke, a pony of perfect glossy black except for her cutie mark, was leaning over where my shoulder would be, if I still had a body, or for that matter was even technically alive.  She was admiring one of the illustrations in the book.

“I especially like these illustrations signed KD, Grumpy.  They capture the mood and action really well.”

Sitting on my other side was the finely polished skeleton of an alicorn.  He was the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, the being responsible for my present condition and now one of my few true friends.

He agreed, “Look at how well the artist has made the cave entrance look menacing.  Whoever did this is very good.”

We were distracted from our pleasant reading by a flare of flame down on the trail leading up to my cave.  Looking down the way, I was more or less expecting it to be the torches of another anti goat mob or, more specifically anti Grumpy Goat mob.  

Due to my business, I am less than popular with some ponies.  I have a thriving practice in Non Equine Magic.  Mostly, it does not appear to do anything.  Somehow, the desired, contracted for and paid in advance results just seem to happen by perfectly natural, if often bizarre means.  Most of the time, those results are the advantage over, injury, death or ruin of some pony, paid for as mentioned, IN ADVANCE, by some other pony.

This time, it was not a mob.  There was a wingless blue dragon toiling up the stony path to my cave.  The next time that she flared, we could hear it.  It sounded like she was suffering from a case of hiccups! Possibly not the best ailment for a dragon to have, since she was burping a smallish fire blast with each hiccup!

When she gained the ledge, she considerately turned her head out away from us. Good thing, too!  She had two hiccups in quick succession!

She offered, “My name is Krystal Dragoness, KD for short.  I've come to you about these hiccups.  They are like to ruin me.  I am at my wit's end.  See, I am an artist.  I draw and paint.  I get going on a piece and these hiccups start up!  One of them is sure to hit my work, and, well, paper, paints, canvas and frames are all pretty flammable! I've even burned up brushes!

“Can you help me to end these hiccups?”

I nodded, making my skull, apparently floating on nothing, with its everburning candle between the horns, glowing snake like eyes and fangs bob.  “I could do that, yes.  It would not cure the basic problem, though. Hiccups usually have a natural cause from tummy and lungs not coordinating right.  If I fix this case, it could easily happen again.

“Let's dig into how this started and whether there is some underlaying cause that we can fix.”

Somewhat disappointed, Krystal nodded.  “That makes sense.  My first case of the hiccups like this happened at my one dragon show in the Sunrise Gallery in Manehatten.  You know how those things are, lots of nobs that you need to chat with and lots of small snacks and drinks.  The show itself was a pretty important one.  

“I landed a contract to illustrate the next Daring Do book.  There was some serious competition for that contract, let me tell you.  It nearly went to Drawin Pitcher.  She wasn't too happy about me getting to do the art for another Daring Do book.  This one will be my fourth.

“I had only just signed the contract when the hiccups started. The first one nearly incinerated my new contract! I was able to get out of the gallery safely when they began.  I was lucky that I didn't hurt anypony or any of my art.”  

She absently pulled a sparkly topped muffin out of a bag and began munching it.  Looking up, a bit embarrassed, she pointed out, “I really can't share dragon muffins with you.  They are topped with crushed gems and have gold or silver dust in the muffin part.  I'm afraid that they are pretty toxic to non dragons.”

Coalsmoke asked curiously, “Where did you get them?  No place in Ponyville makes them at all.  Sometimes the kitchen in Princess Twilight's castle makes up some for Spike but they never sell them.”

Krystal knit her brows in puzzlement.  “I get them out of this bag.  I always like have them when I am a little tense, like when I am concentrating on my art.  Nibbling helps me to focus.”

Just then, she let out another small belch of fire.

Whistling softly, I thought carefully about what I had heard.  “Tell me, Krystal, at the art show, did you have muffins like these?”

“Well, yes.  Any well equipped bakery can make them.  They just have to clean up carefully afterwards.  They always serve them if I am going to be showing any of my works.”

I nodded and looked over at the lovely Coalsmoke, who is always a treat for the ol' eyeballs and asked, “And where have you bought them since that art show in Manehatten?”

She paused, thinking.  “I haven't had to.  This bag always has some in it.”

The eyes that I don't really have widened just a bit.  “It always has some of those muffins in it for you?  When did you get that bag?”

She scratched behind the spines along the back of her jaw as she sorted it out.  “I first noticed it just after I left the gallery at the show where I got those first hiccups.  It's always there when I am tense.”

I glamored my invisible spirit body to look like the handsome tan, black and brown goat that I was before the tiny mistake that killed me and destroyed my original body.  Holding out a hoof, I said, “Just give me the bag, please.  I am going to try something simple with it.”

Nodding affably, Krystal handed me the bag.  I took it inside my cave and shut the iron door.  That door and my cave front were designed by a good firm of military engineers to withstand an Equestrian standard military battering ram.  

It only takes one anti-goat mob burning your house, your library, years of study, hopes for a degree and dreams of well paying work to make one take a few simple precautions.  Add the mob trying to stone your burned and battered body to death to drive home the lesson in how how to hate most ponies.  That trivial incident also motivated my simple and sensible precautions against a repeat of the problem.  Like living in a cave.  With a military fortress grade steel and iron entrance.

I turned about from sealing the door and asked Krystal if she was still feeling tense.  Digging into the bag for a muffin, she replied, “Yes, a little.  Why?”

The Litch King pointed with a foreleg of bone.  “That is why.  He just shut that bag inside his cave and it looks like you have it back.”

He turned his skeletal head to me and stated, “Grumpy, if you can, we NEED to help KD.  Her illustrations really make a Daring Do book!  Plus, we know now that a new one is in the works!  We can't let anything interfere with THAT!”

I shrugged and opened the door.  I was not even surprised that the bag was not there inside my cave any longer.  Krystal munched her muffin and shortly hiccuped another tongue of flame.

I pointed out, “That bag was behind six centimeters of forged iron.  In spite of that, it homed in on you without seeming effort.  Moments after you nibbled that muffin, you hiccuped another flame.  I suspect that there is a direct connection.  To be sure, we need to go back down into Ponyville.  I know someone in the forensic chemistry lab at the police department.  In the meantime, try not to nibble another muffin and let us see if that helps to control or stop the problem.”

On the trail back down to Ponyville, Coalsmoke and I tried to simply hold the bag instead of letting Krystal carry it.  This wise measure proved impossible.  The bag kept sneakily returning to her claws. After what happened up on the ledge in front of my cave, that was pretty much what was expected.

I have to admit that I was pleased by the simple fact that Krystal did keep her claws out of the bag.  We got down the trail and into Ponyville without incident as a result.

Instead of my usual turning towards the town hall and the Hall of Records, to record a new contract, I trotted right on, with a right turn, headed towards the Ponyville Waste Treatment Plant and Falmire Marsh, which is fenced and actually the final stage of the waste water treatment, before it goes into the river.

Coalsmoke was most interested in why we were going where we were going.  Soon enough, we came to a modest stone building close by to the treatment plant.  The sign said,

Ponyville Police Department

Forensics Laboratory

Chemistry, Physical Evidence Analysis,

Forensic Autopsy

As I pushed open the front door, I explained, “I know most of the staff here. Sometimes they will consult with me, when a case is being a pain.”

Coalsmoke chuckled, “How often is one of their nasty cases the result of one of your contracts, Grumpy?”

A smallish unicorn looked up from where he was working at a desk, apparently compiling a report.  “Not really all that often, Miss Coalsmoke. Even when it is, there is no actual evidence that can link the contract to the results.  Grumpy is often a big help in sorting out how something that we are investigating happened.  We pay him a proper consultation fee, of course.”

I introduced, “Coalsmoke, KD, I would like you to meet Fume Hood, one of the best forensic chemists in the whole kingdom.  We are lucky to have him here in Ponyville.”

KD offered, “You have some unusual friends, Grumpy.”

I chortled, “If they aren't unusual in some way, the aren't worth having as friends.”

Turning my attention to Fume Hood, I explained what our situation was in a few words and ended with, “Think that you could do us a rough analysis of one of KD's dragon muffins?”

He thought for a moment, tapping quietly on his desk top before nodding, “You say that the flame is mostly pale blue? Nearly transparent but pretty hot?”

KD shook her head in agreement.  “Right.  That is, unless I eat something with salt in it.  Then the flame is yellow.  Is that significant?”

Fume Hood said, “It MAY be.  I would like to see both your normal flame and one from your hiccups.  Please step over there.  Dragon flame can be pretty handy for some chemistry tests, so we have a small indoor flame range.”

KD stepped over to the flame range's head rest.  Fume Hood lowered the room lights and suggested, “Whenever you are ready, Miss KD.  Just give us a small shot of your regular flame.”

KD's fire blast was impressively different from a hiccup flame.  It was a bright yellow with some red to the center and flame tips that went to a bluish hue.

Fume Hood almost danced pleasure at seeing it!  Perfect!   Normal dragon fire. Now, let's see what we get with one of those muffins.  Go ahead and take one from the bag and eat it.”

He was watching the bag very closely as KD extracted the muffin. “Fascinating.  There is only one muffin in the bag until you take it out.  Then a new muffin forms almost immediately afterwards.”

KD contentedly munched her muffin.  Within moments, she stuck her head into the flame range headrest and belched a nearly pure, pale blue flame.

Fume Hood smiled in chemistly joy.  “Timing and color nail it!  You were right, Grumpy.  There is a direct connection between the muffins and KD's hiccups of flame.  The only reason that she flames at all with them is that, being a dragon, she has a natural ignition spark every time she exhales or belches.  Whatever this vapor she is belching is, it is highly flammable.”

KD's shoulders slumped.  “Does that mean that I can't have Dragon Muffins anymore?”

Fume Hood chuckled as he replied, “I suspect that you can have all that you want.  Just not these, from this bag.”

He went to pull one out.  Looking perplexed, he tried again.  “Humm . . . I can't seem get that muffin out of the bag.  KD, will you get it please?  I need to analyze it.”

Without any problem, KD extracted the muffin.  Fume Hood took it and sliced it in half.  One half he put into a beaker with a lye solution.  It began to dissolve at once.  Soon there was only some slightly coarse granules mixed with loose sparkly fragments of gemstones in the bottom of the beaker.

Fume Hood filtered out the solid residue and rinsed it with water.  Stirring it with a glass rod, he explained, “The lye took away everything but the gems in the topping and the metal dusts in the body of the muffin.  Now, lets see what happens next . . .”

He dripped some acid onto the residue.  “Gems, gold, and silver won't dissolve in this mild acid.”  

In spite of that, something was happening!  It bubbled and fumed something fierce!  Happily touching it off with a sparking wand used to light his lab burners, Fume Hood pointed dramatically!

“There! You see?  Pale blue flame!  See the white residue?  Zinc oxide.  Your muffins are adulterated with zinc!  It reacts with your stomach acids to make hydrogen and that is what, along with a bit of moisture and such that it picks up as you burp is what makes your so called hiccups!  Just don't eat any muffins from that bag and you should be fine.”

He turned to me and snickered, “OK, Grumpy.  We are even now.”

I turned to the perplexed KD and Coalsmoke.  “They needed an autopsy done last year.  The cadaver was over a week old, in August.  I glamored up a form with no sense of smell and did it for them.  Death was from blunt force trauma to the back of the skull.  Clubbed, to be crude about it.”

KD brightened up and commented, “If they get that sort of thing to deal with, it is no wonder that this place is beside the waste treatment plant!”

I agreed, “Right!  Now all that we need to do is sort out how you got a bag that can do what this one does.”

KD put a finger to her cheek as she thought.  “I do know where I got it.  It was at that Manehatten art show that I told you about.  The Dragon Treats that they serve at those things are always kept separate from the pony treats by putting them in bags.  Somepony gave me this bag with a muffin in it, just before I signed that Daring Do contract.”

Fume Hood tapped me on my nonexistent shoulder and pointed to the bottom of the bag.  There was a small trade mark in the form of a silhouette. There was a small bit of advertising too.

KD read, “Redline Party Supplies – For a party to remember for the rest of your life – If you survive!”  She also pointed out, “That silhouette looks like a laughing wolf's head.”

Fume Hood agreed, “It does look like that, doesn't it?  I know of someone who uses a silhouette like that on their business cards.  Here.”  He hoofed over a card.

The card read:

Doctor Mordenheim,

General Surgery and Prosthesis.

Everfree Edge Clinic

Practice inspected and approved by Princess Luna

I was delighted!  “I know where that is!  It was a small old castle that was supposedly built by a -” I made my voice low and shivery while making Hoof Quotes, “- 'Mad Doctor' long before Ponyville was established.  It was in ruins when the Apples came and founded the town.”

Coalsmoke smiled and said, “Right, Grumpy.  I know where it is too.  I send my workers there for general health workups and surgery when it is needed.  Doctor Mordenheim really is very good.  It is not far from here, either.  Let's go see if he can shed any light on this business.”

We left, taking the Falmire Causeway that crossed the marsh, going out towards the southeast side of the Everfree forest.  We paused by a street vendor's cart to watch the antics of her trained alligator.

Have to admit that Pinkie has done a great job of training Gummy!  I mean, he is two and a half meters of fun!  Rumor has it that she has broken him to saddle, but she was not offering rides today.

“Gator Chow, gator chow! / The gators below are hungry now! / Feed the gators down below / It is really quite a show!”

A chuckling Coalsmoke hoofed over coins and got a big bag filled with large chunks.  It said “Certified Gator Chow” on the label.  She shared the chunks around and we spent a few happy minutes tossing them to the many alligators gathered hopefully under the bridge.

There were splashes and chomping a-plenty as the gators lunged about for each new chunk of the chow.  We heard a munching from behind us.

KD, swallowing, asked Pinkie, “Where can I get some more of this stuff? It is pretty good!”

At our stares, she retorted, “What?  Dragon here, remember?  I don't eat grass!”

We left Pinkie to her vending and went on across.  It was not long before we saw the sign pointing to the forest beyond.  It said, Everfree Edge Clinic, General Medicine and Prosthetics.

Only a little way up the designated path of yellow cobbles, we came to a small but well restored castle.  I had to give this Doctor Mordenheim credit for showmanship.  This was one classy clinic.  The sign over an open door read Welcome to Everfree Edge Clinic.

Coalsmoke rang a bell labeled Ring for Service that sat on a beautiful mahogany desk in the lobby/waiting room.

We did not even get to try out the assorted seating and laying cushions.  A large, near horse sized zebra with an eye patch came out of the back. His professional smile turned to a genuine one as he laid eye on Coalsmoke.

“My dear Coalsmoke!  What may I do for you, or is it for one of your friends?”

Suddenly stopping like he'd hit one of his stone castle walls, he gave me a careful and most knowing look.  “I do fear that the goat is beyond any help of mine.”

Coalsmoke smirked just a little as she replied, “You are correct.  This is Grumpy Goat, my long standing friend, of whom I am sure that you have heard.  We are not here for him.

“This is Krystal Dragoness.  She prefers to be called KD.  Our problem is sort of related to her, but it is not medical.”

Resting his chin on one forehoof, as he sat behind the desk, Doctor Mordenheim inquired, “If the problem is not medical, then what is it?”

I held out a hoof, “KD, may I have the bag please?”

I showed him the bottom.  “Somepony named Redline is using your cutie mark on his things.  It has some interesting properties.”

Mordenheim put his face in his hooves.  “I know.  I see that KD has it.  She can't lose it either.  Whatever is in it, seems like an endless supply.  I made it, years ago.  How it got here to this world, I have no idea.”

He was sort of surprised when we all simply found seating and Coalsmoke asked casually, “So, how did you get here?  More to the point, when you arrived, did you meet an elderly blue unicorn with a white mane, tail, and beard?”

Mordenheim looked blank.  “What?  No, I never met anypony like that.”

He got a seriously uncomfortable expression as he elaborated, “I would really prefer not to go into why I wound up here.  Princess Luna knows in detail.  Suffice it to say that the events led me to wandering in the Everfree Forest.  I have no idea at all how it happened, since the Everfree is not all that big, but I was in there for over a week.  Perhaps more, I am not at all sure.  What I am sure of is that the path that I was on did not seem to double back on itself or any thing like that.  Between sun breaks in the forest canopy and the scenery, I am sure that I was not going in circles.

“I happened on the ruin of this old castle.  I might have simply passed it by but it had a small cobbled road leading to it from outside of the forest.  I followed that road and it led me to Ponyville.”  He shook his head in wonder, “It was a very different Ponyville than the one that I left.  By good fortune, I met Caramel Treat, Fangrin and Reverend Smallflower.  The rest all came from meeting them.”

I pointed out, “Fascinating as that is, it completely dodges the question of that bag and its neverending supply of adulterated Dragon Muffins.”

One of Doctor Mordenheim's ears cocked up in fascination.  “Adulterated? How?”

Coalsmoke filled in, “With lots of zinc metal dust, that's how.”

Doctor Mordenheim winced,  “Ouch!  That would make mountains of hydrogen gas!  That could cause a serious problem for a dragon!”

KD confirmed, “It sure does!  The hiccups that it causes have been near the ruin of my art.”

Suddenly you could see things clicking together in Doctor Mordenheim's mind! “KD?  Art?  Did you do the covers and illustrations for Daring Do and the Secret of the Apploosa Cave?  The Adventure of the Singing Sands?  The Nippony Diamond?”

KD nodded, clearly pleased.  “All three!  Why?”

Acting like a foal as he was going to his book shelf, Mordenheim snagged all three books and returned to his desk.  “I love your art, KD, would you please autograph these for me?”

With an impishly evil grin, displaying her big dragon chompers, KD replied, “Sure!”  She was reaching into the bag.  “Just as soon as I snack on this muffin!  Or, you make this bag harmless!”

Grinning right back, and revealing a set of fangs that would not have been out of place in a tiger shark, Mordenheim replied, hoof over heart, “You wound me!  I was going to do that anyway.  You did not need blackmail me.  It did make it more fun, though!”

KD chuckled as she said, “I would not really have done it, Doc.  It was just too much fun to pass up the chance.  So, tell us, why did you make a bag like this?”

Reassured that we did not hold his apparent past against him, he sat back comfortably and half smiled at the memory.  “Revenge.  Count Sourbottom was being a problem, objecting to some of my experi . . . projects.   He had a whole herd of foals of all ages.  One of the youngsters had a birthday party coming up.  I set up one of these for each of them!  Loaded them with the finest, sweetest candies that I could locate.  It was a near perfect revenge.”

Always interested in more ways to get back at ponykind for their mistreatment of me in the past, I asked, “How was giving his foals candy any sort of revenge?”

Suddenly, Coalsmoke put a hoof to her lips to suppress giggles.  “Don't you see it, Grumpy?  He couldn't take them away for discipline because the bags will go right back to the foals.  Worse, the endless supply of sweets could cause all sorts of health and mouth problems that the Count would have to pay for!”

Mordenheim nodded happy agreement.  “Last that I heard, Count Sourbottom was headed for bankruptcy on dental bills alone!”

Going more serious, he offered, “KD, we may be able to save the gem topping of your muffins if we are lucky.  Would you like that?”

KD replied seriously, “That would be great, if we can do it.  I really like their flavor, especially the crushed rubies.  How can we do it?”

Doctor Mordenheim picked up the bag and headed for the outside door.  Over his shoulder, he invited, “Come outside for a simple little experiment.  We can save the gems themselves for sure.  Question is whether we can save the topping that they are in or not.”

He pointed down the yellow cobble road leading to his door.  “Now, my dear, take a muffin out of the bag but don't eat it.”

Mystified, she hoofed over the muffin.  “I understand why I have to get it out, but why not eat it?  What are we going to do with it?”

With total assurance, Doctor Mordenheim replied, “You are going to eat it but in parts.  Here, let me scrape off the topping.”  Carefully he removed the topping, taking none of the muffin itself.  “Just eat the topping.  I will hold the muffin for now.”

With obvious relish, KD did.  Licking it off her claws, she asked, “What now?  I like this test!”

“We wait a bit to see if you get gas.  If you don't, the zinc is only in the muffin part.”

KD cocked her head, brow wrinkled in concentration.  “I don't feel any gas coming on.  That usually happens pretty quick when it does.”

“I see. To finish the test, eat the rest of the muffin now.”

She did. And was soon hiccuping blasts of flame.

Nodding in confirmation, he said, “Just in the muffin then.  We can definitely save the topping for you.  Would you like just this topping or would you prefer it on something?”

“As it happens, I do have something that it might go good on.”

Back inside, she produced a bag.  We all saw Mordenheim's nose dilate as he caught the scent.  His ears shot forward in interest.  Drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth!

“What is that lovely smelling stuff, KD?”

“Gator Chow.  I got it from Pinkie Pie over on the bridge.  She told me that it is made from smoked and flaked meat pressed into bite sized chunks.”

Both Coalsmoke and I were rolling on the floor, laughing!  Getting myself somewhat under control, I commented, “Those teeth of yours are real, aren't they, Doc?”

“Yes, they are.  Is it a problem?”

Coalsmoke, composing herself comfortably on a large cushion, replied, “Not for us.  It was just unexpected.  Looks like Pinkie is going to have to stock in more Gator Chow, is all.  

“This explains why Caramel has mentioned you eating there a lot but I haven't seen you, and I eat there too.  You eat in the back, in her carnivore plaza.”

“Right. Now, KD, those Gator Chow chunks are just about muffin sized.  That is about as big as the bag can handle.  It is time to disarm the bag from those bad muffins.”

He got a large, heavy book from the shelf.  Instead of consulting it, he held it at the ready.

“Now, KD, take the muffin out and move your paws away from the bag swiftly.”

As she did, he slammed the book down on top of the bag!  He held it down for around a whole minute.  Relaxing, he pronounced, the spell is reset. It can now be reloaded and set to anyone.  Just a sec.”

He went into the back and returned with salad tongs and a spreading knife. Selecting one of KD's chow chunks, he carefully and neatly spread the gem topping onto it.  Taking the tongs, he used them to insert the topped chow chunk into the bag.

“Now, KD, just reach into the bag and take out the snack.  That will reset the bag to you with a safe treat.  You also now know how to change treats any time that you want.”

Saying, “Thanks, Doc!”  KD fished out the treat and nibbled it down with gusto!

I was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes that I don't really have. Thinking it over, I pointed out, “KD, whoever set you up was at the show in Manehatten.  The way it works, that spell didn't lock onto you until you took out that first muffin.

“It may be time for a contract or a bit of detective work in Manehatten. Perhaps both.”

Thoughtfully she suggested, “There is another big art show in Manehatten in a few days.  I do have a studio there with some finished pieces that I could enter if I could get there in time.  That would give us the cover that we need for detective work if we can arrive in time.”

I suggested, “If time is a problem, I could try setting up a portal between here and the Manehatten fairgrounds.  It has been a while since I studied that but it is really pretty simple magic.”

We all trooped outside and I began the really pretty basic preparations for opening a portal spell.  I did add a whole lot of “stage dressing” rituals, circles and other misdirection.  I always do.  Better showmanship and it hides what makes it work from prying eyes, even if they are watching.

A glowing circle appeared in the air, just in front of us and barely touching the ground.  Suddenly it began to grow, becoming a huge oval. Something enormous, making a steady pulsing roar and clanking like metal was coming toward us!

First, pretty high up, came a sort of short crossways tube with a hole in it on the side facing us.  The thing continued to advance.  That funny bit was attached to a long metal tube!  Down lower, some big metal plates appeared and then between them  an enormous bridge of metal. Huge wheels of steel supported endless linked plates of more steel!

As the contraption came on out, it was revealed to be a gigantic machine of some sort!  It had sloped sides up to a heavy device on top that the long tube came out of.  That had sloped sides too, as if this thing were made to bounce catapult shots off of it!  There were some serious dents and obvious repairs that made it seem that those slopes were strictly functional!

Sticking her head up out of a hatch in the top was a pony who looked for all the world like Rainbow Dash!  Reinforcing that idea was a brown pegasus with a black mane and tail clinging to the rear of the machine and calling out loudly enough to be heard over the machine's roar!

“Dashie! Stop!  You going to smash through garden wall again!  You crush Jade's herb garden again!  You so grounded!”

Dashie retorted, “I not hit wall, dad!  Big blue hole show up.  I drive through that!  Besides, last time I drive through Jade's herb garden, I fix it better than before.  She ask me to squash it again!”

“And one more thing!  Dashie, you make me good hot tea or you so grounded you need dig up for thousand year to see daylight!”

Innocently she shot back, “If I that grounded, I make you nice tea that De Writer send for me to get you!  It his idea to get it with remote control T82 Main Battle Tank!  If I NOT grounded, I MIGHT be able to find you nice green tea that he never touch!”

The brown pegasus sat hard.  “De Writer ask you to use Remote Control T82 IN CANTERLOT for that tea?  You not so grounded as I thought.”

The one identified as Dashie noticed us from her vantage point, high up in the top part of the T82.  She picked up a small boxy thing with buttons and levers and pushed one of the buttons.  The T82's loud grumbling fell quiet.

“Um, Dad, we come through portal, I think.  You not teach me that magic yet. There ponies here and a dragon.  Come around T82 and you see.  There small castle here too.”

The brown pegasus stepped around the metal monster and courteously introduced, “I Thomas the Writer.  Miscreant who drive T82 through your portal my daughter Dashie Writer.  T82 is educational toy give her by De Writer.”

Mordenheim looked up at the behemoth of steel and remarked, “Where you are from has different ideas about educational toys than any place I have ever been.”

Dashie replied, “It crazy where we from too, but what you expect from powerful wizard like De Writer?  Something safe?  He good to have on your side when trouble come, though.”

She turned about and exclaimed, “The portal gone!”

It was true.  Standing where it had been was a familiar cat otter hybrid with red hair.  She was wearing a well worn cloak of dark green and light seeming chain mail.  Mithril by the look of it.  Her left arm was a prosthesis, a mechanical arm of metal that moved in an utterly natural way.  Under the cloak was the scabbard of a large sword.  In her mechanical hand was a parchment that looked like a map of some sort.

She tucked away the map in a pouch at her waist and looked about, her gaze missing nothing.  Smiling, she waived!  “Hi, Grumpy!  It's me, Wind!  We met at Ponyville Fair, remember?  I am part of Marchhare's band of Rom.   I was going to meet them at Haymarket fair, up north, but this out of control portal got in the way.  I took the liberty of closing it.”

Thomas gave Wind a strangely puzzled look.  “This world with Marchhare in it?”

She shrugged, “I wouldn't be going to meet him and his band if it wasn't!  Why?”

Speaking to Dashie, Thomas said, “This important lesson, Dashie.  How many worlds in multiverse?”

She replied, “Infinite.  Everyone and thing have infinite copies, each a little different.”  Raising her eyebrows in thought, she added, “This a trick question, isn't it, Dad?”

“Sort of. You very quick.  Every rule have exception, right?”

Putting hoof to chin, she thought and then went wide eyed with realization! “Every rule have exception, even that rule!”

Thomas lifted his wings in pleasure.  “Right!  This ONLY world in whole multiverse that have Marchhare!  That is secret to navigation when go between worlds.”

Dashie blinked.  “What happen when he dies?”

“Nothing, Dashie.  Marchhare already dead.  Not die twice.”

We were all listening in amazement.  It was newcomer Wind who said, “That is sort of a relief.  That there is only one of my foster dad, I mean. I have met some of myself and it was not the best of experiences!”

She put her jaw in her metal hand and examined the whole situation carefully. Turning to me she asked, “Did you cast the portal, Grumpy?”

Scraping the grass where I was standing with one nonexistent forehoof and looking down, I muttered, “Afraid so.  Portals are not really my specialty.  I guess that I really messed this one up.”

Wind stepped over and lifted my glamor's head to look me in the eye.  “I am an expert with portals.  That one was really well done.  It would have worked perfectly if you had not cast it here.  The Everfree's Hidden Ways are what messed you up.

“Now, where were you trying to go?”

KD interjected, “We were aiming for the fairgrounds at Manehatten by the Sea.”

Wind nodded in a very take charge sort of way.  “I see.  That is about 6 or 7 hundred kilometers from here.”

Leaning casually up against the iron monster called T82, Wind asked, “Does this thing have personnel and cargo railings and how fast is it, uh, Dashie?”

Dashie brightened up as she replied, “It sure does have safety railings! I use them when I give Mia and Becky rides.  It can go as far as you want.  Out in the open, it can hit 100 kilometers an hour!  How did you know about that?”

Wind gave a delicate shudder, “I have adventured on a few worlds where similar machines were used.  I saw the passenger railings on some of them.”

Wind smiled ingratiatingly at Thomas.  “Would you be willing to let Dashie take us all on an Adventure to Manehatten by the Sea?  It will get these nice beings where they need to go and be fun for us all.  From there, I can easily send you both back home.”

Dashie had hopped out of the top of the T82 and began releasing catches and lifting up metal railings.  They clicked as they locked into place. When she was done, she lowered a set of steep metal stairs to climb up onto the back of her “educational toy.”

Thomas watched with a skeptical lift to his right eyebrow.  “I not say we go, Dashie.”

She looked him straight back in the eye as she retorted, in front of us all, “Right.  All that you have to do is tell our hosts that you won't do something simple and fun to help them.”

“That blackmail, Dashie!”

“Right. Between you and our De Writer, I learn from the best!”

He chuckled, “OK.  We do it.”

Wind swung easily up the boarding stair and called, “All aboard for the Manehatten Express!”

KD swarmed up, found the engine vents, and curled up with a “Dibs on the warm spot!”

Coalsmoke gently pushed me toward the enormous device with, “I would love to go too, Grumpy, but I have serious business to talk over with Victor. The Princesses want to set up a program for helping wounded veterans of their armies.”

Dashie started the T82 and made a big turn.  Wind guiding her, we set out for Adventure!  And Manehatten.

Technically, we took Doctor Mordenheim's path down to the Falmire cutoff and turned south towards the junction with Royal Road 315.  For some reason, the busy traffic of Ponyville's industrial district gave way before us, even when it had the right of way!  Couldn't imagine why! Surely it had nothing to do with fifty or more tonnes of steel monstrosity charging along at a “mere” twenty kilometers per hour.

We reached the Royal Road toll booth without incident.  Almost had an incident there.  The poor booth keepers were going nuts trying to sort out the proper toll.

Pages were fluttering back and forth in their toll manuals, “It ain't a cart or wagon from any section!  Darn thing is made out of iron like a fool locomotive on the railroad!”

“I know, Jeb!  Can't even classify it by team size or set up!  It runs itself!”

Wind was sitting on the edge of the turret, which Dashie had taught us was the name for that upper part with the long pipe sticking out of it, and giggling at the small uproar.  

“When Marchhare hears about this, he will split his harness, he will laugh so hard!”

One of the toll collectors looked up at her and got a beatific smile.  “You are Wind, from Marchhare's band of Rom, right?  I saw you at our fair a couple of times.”

She nodded acknowledgment, “Yes, Sir.  I am.”

He turned to his buddy and pushed the manuals shut.  “Just write Rom from Marchhare's band, toll free by Crowns Law.”

Jeb did write, though he was still trying to protest.  His superior shut him down with, “Jeb, like enough you are right.  Still, it solves OUR problem.”  He tripped the gate mechanism and the flimsy red and white painted wooden bar lifted up out of our way.

We pulled onto the Royal Road.  Besides less traffic, it was wider and better maintained than the Ponyville road we had come from.  Dashie began to open up the speed once we had clear road ahead of us.  I must say, I was impressed.  Dashie was not kidding about hitting a hundred kilometers an hour!

The T82 was fast and high enough that we had to duck shade tree branches!  A delighted KD had her sketchbook out and was rapidly drawing things from her high perspective!

Chortling, she explained, “Even as roughs, some of these will adapt to pictures for my book contract!  This is great!”

Wind steered us into one of the many waysides, making Dashie slow down and drive gently as we parked for the evening.  With assurance, she showed us where the free water and firewood were.

With a fond smile, Wind recalled, “I have camped here before, while traveling with Dad's band.  There is a small stream over in the bushes that we can get fresh fish and crawdads out of for a nice dinner.”

KD had out an easel and was busily drawing with colors.  She was doing the T82 framed by a sunset of riotous clouds and glowing light.  

She asked politely, “Wind, would you be so good as to pose there, just below the turret?  I want your metal arm just casually holding something and your sword out in your right hand, ready but not on a guard.”

Wind did pose.  It really did not take KD long at all to capture the feeling of the scene.  The way that Wind was posing, it looked for all the world like she OWNED the metal monster behind her!

Done posing, Wind stretched and began doing limbering up exercises.  With an expression of delight, and without even thinking about it, Wind began to dance and sing in a language strange to all of us.  I did recognize it from my times at the Ponyville fair, serving mainly as security for Caramel Treat's excellent food booth.  The language was Gyptian, the sort of private and held secret, nearly melodious tongue of the Rom.  I did recognize the dance.

She was treating us to the Shehan Ja Rom, their story of how the Rom came to be.  I gather that it is the oldest dance and song of the Rom.  As her dance and song finished, I remembered that the Rom did not clap for applause.  I leaned my head back and gave the loud trill that the Rom use.

Wind looked sort of startled as the others followed suit.  Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Sorry.  It was just the joy of being on the road again.”

It was KD who said it, “Don't be sorry.  It was lovely.  Is there an Equestrian translation?”

I put in, “I know that there is.  That was the famous Shehan Ja Rom.  The Rom traditionally dance and sing it in an Equestrian version to open fairs.  What I am curious about is how Wind, who is nothing like any horse or pony, came to be a Rom and of Marchhare's band at that.”

Wind sat near the fire and absently began to assemble vegetable skewers for Dashie, Thomas and I.  “I made a little mistake while adventuring. I survived it, obviously.  Mama Dragon fixed me up and sent me here, to this Equestria to finish healing and recuperate.  De Writer met me and steered me to Marchhare's band.

“Good thing, too.  One of my wounds developed a small inflammation that could have killed me.  Black Lotus, Marchhare and Hoof Dancer, his wife at the time, healed me.  Mama Dragon was wise in sending me to them for a month.  I had more than physical wounds to heal.  I joined them and learned to read, write and speak Gyptian.  Having a real caring and extended family provided the rest of the healing that I needed.  Now, I have my Freedom and I can come and go as I wish, but my Rom family is always there for me.”

I could tell that there was a lot left out but Wind cut her tale off without harming her tail by asking, “Grumpy, will you tend these skewers for me while I go catch some fish, crawdads and a bunny or two for dinner to share with KD?”

I realized at once that besides being an adventurer, Wind was quite diplomatic. She had just reminded the lot of us that KD had not eaten all day, except for snacks, and that both she and Wind were carnivores. Possibly hungry carnivores.

Dashie took off too, calling, “Wind!  Wait up!  I want see how you hunt and fish without fancy gear.”

Wind looked back, nodded and then beckoned with a finger curl.  As soon as Dashie was up to her, Wind slid into the brush without a sound.  Dashie, trying to follow was pretty quiet.

Coming to the creek bank, Wind laid flat and wriggled forward on her stomach. Carefully parting the small thin wands of the bank willows, she slid her right arm into the water, reaching back, under the cut bank.  Her face screwed up with concentration, she eased her hand up, feeling for a fish.  Smiling, she slid her hand further up and grabbed!

Rolling back and lifting, Wind flipped the good sized trout out onto the bank!  She caught the flopping creature and bent its head back to break its neck.  She snipped off a thin bank willow strand with her knife and laced it through the fish's gills and out the mouth. Loosely knotting the ends, she hung the fish up and repeated the trick three more times!

Dashie was watching with awe.  “I never even hear of fishing that way!  How you do it?”

Wind picked up her willow loop with fish and replied, “It takes practice to tickle trout but it is not really hard.  You need to be careful and gentle.  When you feel the fish with your fingers, you need to work your way up until you feel the pectoral fins, those just behind the gills.  Snap your fingers into the gills and lift it out quickly.

“Now for a nice brace of bunnies and dinner will ready to cook.”

Dashie, keeping her voice down, asked, “I see warren right over there.  How you catch them?  Some kind of trap?”

Wind, following Dashie's pointing hoof, shook her head.  “I could, and if we were going to be here longer, I would set some snares.  Since it is only dinner and breakfast, I will just pounce them.  It is easier and quicker.”

Dashie watched Wind ghost her way through the brush toward the warren. Choosing her place, she waited, a bunched spring of living huntress. Nothing moved except for the tip of her tail twitching slightly.  It was only a few minutes before a bunny hopped lazily toward one of the main holes of the warren.  Wind's pounce included a fast chop with her metal hand!  The bunny only twitched once before going still.

Wind quietly picked a different spot and soon had a second bunny!

Bearing her prey, Wind and Dashie returned to camp.  On their way, Wind asked, “Why did you want to see how I got fish and bunnies?  Most ponies really don't want to see that.”

Face flaming a little with embarrassment, Dashie replied, “I am sort of, like half dragon.  I turn into one if I need to or want to.  Thing is, I not very good at getting meat to eat!  I have to turn back to a pony and graze up dinner!  There are times that really inconvenient!”

Wind chuckled.  “I can see that!  We have one more stop before Manehatten by the Sea.  I will take you out hunting there too, OK?”

Back at camp, Wind considerately went to the other side of the T82 to clean and prepare her catch.  A lightly drooling KD went to help!  They both returned to the camp, licking their lips and smiling.  They were finishing up with some of KD's endless supply of Gator Chow.  Wind had carefully cleaned off the gem topping from hers and used it to enhance KD's snack.

As we were settling about the fire, Dashie asked, “Um, Wind, did Rom hold you prisoner some way?  You say you have your freedom.”

Wind chuckled at the misunderstanding.  “No, Dashie.  The Rom Freedom is a thing that they wear.  Here, I have mine in my bag.”

She reached into her bag at her waist and her arm seemed to go in further than was possible.  She saw us staring and snorted her amusement.  “It is called a bag of holding.  It is sort of like Marchhare's caravan. It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.  Here it it is!”

Stopping her rummaging, she pulled out a sort of headstall thing of richly tooled and dyed leather with rings and buckles that looked to be gold.  She strapped it on.

“This is a Freedom of the Rom.  They grant them only to beings that they have fully accepted as one of their own.”

“Why is call a Freedom?” Dashie wondered.

Wind lifted her chin with pride.  “The original cast off slaves that were the first Rom wore a headstall with a bit and lead ring.  They had them all their lives and were not comfortable without something on their heads.  They re made them into the Freedom by taking away anything by which they could be made to serve another.  No bit or lead ring has ruled any Rom from that day to this.”  Very carefully, Wind removed her Freedom and put it away.

KD had curled into an amazingly hard to see coil of dragon to sleep until dawn.  The rest of us were spreading blankets to sleep under the stars.

A wagon full of road repair tools and an accompanying work gang of ponies pulled into the rest area.  A couple of them strode arrogantly to our camp and demanded, “We are hungry!  What ever food you got, hoof it over now!  You don't, we gonna take sledgehammers to that there tin thingy!”

I gently prodded the almost sleeping dragon in our midst.  KD had been paying attention!  Her head rose up, eyes alight.  A curl of flame showing at each nostril and outlining her barely opened jaws completed the picture!

She serenely asked, “What?  More dinner?  I'm not sure that I could hold another whole pony.  Mind if we just sort of pack along the leftovers for lunch?”

Dashie had lifted a fully draconic head.  In the late evening's light we could not make out her color but we could easily make out the totally paling ponies!

“What! They got TWO DRAGONS!”

Dashie corrected, “No.  Two HUNGRY dragons!”

Dashie was giggling at the frantic retreat of the two jerks!  Got to admit to some chuckles of my own.  KD's sides were heaving as she re coiled herself.

Dashie got up onto all fours.  In the dying firelight, she could be seen to be a light blue color.  She flexed her wings a couple of times and strolled over to where the road crew ponies were carelessly re packing to leave.  In terror but not so terrified that they were willing to have to pay for abandoned gear!

One thoughtlessly yelled, “Road camp privacy!  Stay away, that is kingdom law!”

Wind, who was almost unnoticed at Dashie's right front leg, calmly pointed out, “You have just admitted that you knew that you were breaking kingdom law when you tried to hijack our dinner.  In your haste to correct your error, you dropped your sledgehammers.  Here!”

Wind revealed a hidden strength by casually giving the heavy hammers an underhand toss.  Both hammers overshot the wagon and hit the turf on the other side of it.

That got the attention of the road crew ponies!  One noticed, “How come you only got one arm?”

Smiling angelically, which showed off her fangs nicely, Wind reached up with her metal left arm and scritched at the base of Dashie's left dragon horn as she replied, “What, this?” Campfire light glinting from her metal arm, she said casually, “Kitten here, and I got to roughhousing last week!  She was a little too enthusiastic, that's all.”

Dashie, catching on to the game, bent her head around and gave Wind a lick at the shoulder and said contritely, “I said that I was sorry!  We just need to find a Phoenix potion so that you can regrow it. Again.”

They strolled back to our camp, Wind taking the time to re hang her cloak to sort of hide her metal arm.  Thomas, Dashie, now turned back to a pegasus, and I nibbled up Wind's excellent fruit and vegetable skewers.

Wind toasted the last of the bunnies and trout over KD's flame and shared that extra bit dinner with her.  Dashie “sneaked” over and turned back to a dragon to beg a few bites.  Grinning, they let her have some.

Sleeping out in the open, I did not have my usual nightmares of a Celestian Church mob burning my home, studies, and, failing to trap me in the house, attempting to stone me to death.  Perhaps my feelings of safety came of sleeping beside a big blue dragon?  One that liked me? Very likely.

It could not last.  For one thing, dawn comes far too soon for a cave dwelling goat like me.  The other was a light blue bundle of enthusiasm with rainbow mane and tail!  Dashie was bounding into camp!  She was waiving a forked stick with three big fat trout on it!  It was laced through their gills and out their mouths, with the forked branch acting as a stop to keep them from sliding off.

“I did it, Wind!  I tickle trout just like you show me how!”

Wind looked up from laying the morning cook fire.  Her grin showed her usually hidden fangs as she replied, “Just like I showed you?   Not sure how to point this out diplomatically but you don't have any fingers to do it with.”

Totally disingenuous, Dashie replied, “I just use my magic like you show with hand.  It not hard.  Real trick was find where fish hide.  You show me that.  They too quick to catch if just grab.  Gentle tickle is trick.”

Both KD and I were listening with rapt attention.  It was clear that Thomas and Dashie's Equestria was very different from this one.  As they talked, that became more and more apparent.

“Does your magic come from being a weredragon?”

“Only a little.  Most I learn from Dad.  He one of two most powerful beings in our Equestria.  Be honest, I think De Writer worst.  Super strong magic and wicked sense of humor.  And bored.  He three thousand years old.  Raise Princesses.”

“I see. Do other pegassi use magic where you come from?”

“Not really.  Dad figure out that there more magic in world than Earth, Pegassi, and Unicorn.  It come from his mom, Aurora, the Demon Queen.”

We all looked askance at the innocent appearing brown pegasus.  This was getting more and more interesting all the time.

Wind just nodded, took the fish and efficiently set about preparing them.  She also pulled some fresh looking apples and peaches out of the bag at her waist.  She expertly split them into proper chunks and dropped them into a pot.  She added a little fresh water and, reaching into her bag of holding, pulled out a box with many drawers and bottles, a jar with a sealed top and a small flour bag.

I was sort of amazed, watching the sheer skill with which Wind organized breakfast.  She even had water on heating in a biggish pot.  She added some from the sealed bottle.  The camp filled with the heavenly aroma of Rom black tea!

Satisfied with the progress of the fruits in the pot, she added sugar, cinnamon from one of the drawers of the box and stirred in the flour to thicken it.

It smelled heavenly, not like regular flour at all.  Wind closed the bag and returned box, bag and jar to her bag of holding.  She saw my calculating look as I watched it all happening.  

Wrinkling her nose in amusement, she explained, “Ka'chek flour.  A Rom without it?  Unheard of!”

Breakfast lived up to the lovely scents, and then some.

Wind, KD and Dashie went to the other side of the T82 to fix and eat the trout.  Coming back, Dashie and KD were finishing up gem topped Gator Chows and Wind was nibbling at one with the topping removed.

While they were eating, the rest of us cleaned up all the cookware and put out the fire.  We especially cleaned out the fruit stew pot!  Nearly came to blows over who got to lick it out!  Good sense prevailed and we took turns licking parts of it.  Then, we washed it.  We did have one thing unwashed.

We saved Wind the last mug of Rom black tea.  Smiling at our courtesy, Wind drained it and saw to proper washing of the mug.  She then caused us all a small croggle of the mind by causally putting all of the clean cookware and dishes into her bag of holding!

We all piled onto the remote controlled T82 and Dashie got us on the road again!

I noticed that Wind was wearing her Freedom and had put on a harness.  It was as richly tooled and dyed as her freedom.  They were clearly a matched set.

While KD was busy with her art, making fast sketches of the lands that we were passing through, I made bold to ask, “Why the Rom outfit?  This is not exactly a caravan.”

Wind giggled at some joke that I did not understand as she replied, “Actually, it is.  You just have to understand what caravan means. It is a loan word from the desert Kingdoms that was already in use by the time that the first Rom came here.  In their language of Gyptian, it means something slightly different from how it is used in Equestrian.

“It is just that there is a road section toll gate coming up in a little. Me being dressed this way should get us through the gate for free.”

Nodding acceptance for her reason, I turned my attention to Thomas, who was trying hard to act like an adult pegasus, rather than a colt having the time of his life.

I guessed, “You have not ridden on Dashie's T82 before, have you Thomas?”

With a twinkle in his eye, he admitted, “Never before this.  I think that she get to play with it more but need daddy supervision!”

I was chuckling at that when we all felt the iron monster slowing down. Wind, pointing ahead, made clear exactly why.  There was the toll booth with its light weight red and white bar across the road.  There was a substantial cabin in back of it for use of the toll collectors when off duty and out here, kilometers from any town.  A sign said, WELCOME TO THE MANEHATTEN ROYAL ROAD SECTION.

Wind hopped off the top of the huge left tread guard of the T82 and greeted the toll takers, “Hi!  What do you think of my new act?  Just doing a shake down run to IRON out any problems!  We are promised entertainment for the big art show.”

The utterly bemused light yellow toll collector turned to his lavender buddy and shook his head.  Pushing the toll manual shut he said, “Rom.  No accounting for 'em.  Just write Rom, toll free by Crowns Law.”

He tripped the mechanism and the toll gate rose up out of our way.  

As the mechanical behemoth passed through the gate, Wind trotted after and swung up the steel boarding stair and resumed her place on top of the turret, next to Dashie.

We had passed two of the Waysides when Wind guided Dashie into one that seemed empty.  It was nowhere near noon, yet.

“Thanks, Dashie!  There is a friend here that I want to talk to.  It would have been rude to just go by and not say Hi.”

With that, she bounced off the turret, grabbed what we had learned was called the Main Gun, and swung, letting go and landing lightly.  She sprinted over to the edge of the woods.

Sitting suddenly, she quietly reached out and laid a sparkling pebble among many others in that spot.  She said, “Hanar Na Kili.”  We could not make out the rest.  It was all in Gyptian.  It contained pauses as if she was listening to what another was saying.  The conversation was soon over.

Wind got up, smiling serenely, and returned to us.  Dashie had turned to a dragon so that she and KD could share a couple of KD's gator chows.

Wind suggested, “We could get going, now.  The Loved Dead are always with us.  Hanar and I had a nice chat.”

It was slowly percolating through the brain that I don't really have, just how different Rom are.  And I have known them, shared food with them and talked with them for years.  They have even been guests in my cave.  I have heard that expression, the Loved Dead are always with us hundreds of times.  I have heard about Laying the Stones goodness only knows how many times.  This was the first time that I had seen it.

Seeing how Wind treated it, both casually and with absolute assurance, as if the horse in that grave that the Rom call a Gateway to the Lake of Paradise, or Lake for short, was really there, made it hit me like a gut punch.

I knew, like everybeing in Equestria that the ONE THING THAT YOU DO NOT DO is desecrate any Wayside burial.  Ponies who die more than two days travel from their homes are entitled to a Wayside burial.  It is a Royal Benefice.  The graves are marked and tended as part of Wayside maintenance.

All Rom who die get a Wayside burial, that they call a Lake or going to the Lake. They lay small, inexpensive, but pretty pebbles on them to mark them.  

Desecration of a Rom Lake will bring the Princesses in person to investigate. The criminals WILL get caught.  Penalties are HARSH.  They range from twenty years at hard labor on the Royal Roads up to life.  The worst offenders, who have actually exhumed Rom remains get a punishment worse than simple death.  

They get life in the Twins Mine, digging mercury ore.  The fumes destroy the mind and wrack the body.  After the first few such grave robberies, centuries ago, no pony in their right mind will risk that.

Wind looked so quietly happy that I had to wonder whether there was any truth to the Rom belief in the Lake of Paradise.

Dashie finished her snack and changed back to a pegasus.  We all piled back onto the T82 educational toy and hit the road again.  It was not long before we came to a bridge across a stream.

It was a nice, well built and solid bridge.  It was clear that it was not made to take the sheer mass of the T82.

Dashie, following Wind's suggestions and pointing, reversed the T82 for about fifty or sixty meters.  There, she eased off the road and headed toward the stream.  She stopped short, while Wind scouted ahead, dropping down the stream bank and checking the bottom to be sure that it would hold up the tank.

Returning, she suggested to the others, “I think that you should get off and use the bridge on foot.  This will be a wild ride!”

KD pointed to the line of ten to fifteen centimeter diameter trees that lined both sides of the stream skeptically.  “Um, not to cast doubt or anything, but how do you plan to get this thing past those?”

Wind replied quietly, “I have seen machines like this, doing what they were designed to do.  I don't think that it will be a difficult problem.”

KD and Thomas both looked into Wind's eyes and saw reflected experiences that they did not want to share.  Neither did I.  Thomas just said, “T82 break trees in orchard before this.  I take Wind's advice.”

Nodding, KD followed him, saying, “Let me get to the center of the bridge and get my sketchbook out!  I don't want to miss this!”

Figuring that the center of the bridge would have the best view of the proceedings. I joined them.

That was when I noticed something completely uncanny.  As big and heavy as the T82 was, there was no sign of its driving across the grass and brush to get to the stream.  Looking back, I saw that the road was in perfect condition, too.

I pointed it out to the one here who might know something about it.  Thomas snickered happily, “Yes, know already.  You not say anything to Dashie but she very good with magic of rock and stone.  Also with magic of plants.  She fix what educational toy do as it happen most time.”

Just then, it started.  The T82 let out a loud roar and charged the treeline! There was a splintering set of crashing sounds as it struck the innocent vegetation!  The trees did not stand a chance!  They swayed, cracked and buckled, falling down into the stream as the “toy” crunched over them, tipping down steeply as it plunged into the stream!   With a huge splash, followed by the churning up of rock, gravels and white water, the machine charged the opposite bank!

As it hit, I began to appreciate the ingenuity of the linked steel belts that the T82 ran on.  There was a slope at the front before the treads hit the ground.  Now, that slope let the machine claw its way up the bank, tilting back steeply as its momentum and driving tracks forced it up, pushing the trees aside and down while it topped the bank!

Dashie drove her “toy” up to the road's edge and parked it.  She bailed out and took wing to the other side of the stream.  Landing in the water, she transformed into her dragon self!

She called, “Dad!  KD!  Will you help please!?”

She was lifting the fallen trees back into their places, on the stumps that they had broken off from.  While she was at it, I could see her magic going into the stems and branches, binding together cracks and breaks.

KD loped down and joined her.  “What can I do, Dashie?  I don't know anything about this kind of magic.”

“Just hold trunk up while I fix break and roots.”

Thomas strolled down and waded into the stream.  He started repairing cracks and breaks in the wood of the fallen trees to speed things along.

Wind and I sat on the bridge rail and watched them work.  She commented, “Ah, hard work!  I can sit and watch it for simply hours!”

It really did not take all that long for the party to restore all the trees and larger brush, leaving almost no sign that the massive T82 had charged through there.

KD said it for all of us, as we climbed back aboard the T82, “I never even heard of magic like that before!”

As she was settling into the turret and picking up the remote control, Dashie shrugged.  “All world each a little different.  Some thing go from world to world, some not.  Magic dad teach me, it work.”

Not too much later, we pulled into a Wayside to fix lunch.  Some heavy freight dray ponies were already camped there, so Dashie parked us at a site well away from them, to give them camp privacy.

They stomped over to us just as Wind was setting a large pot of water to heat.

“Whatever you gots to eat gotta be better than our road ration oats!  Hoof it over!  We even got you a bag of oats to make it a fair trade!”

Dashie quelled Wind before she could say anything.  She gestured for KD to stay hidden behind the T82.  Pretending to quail some, she replied, “We just stop for ordinary tea before go on.  Got special box tea need to be deliver.”

Thomas, sounding indignant, demanded, “No!  Dashie, that tea special!  Got to go to Castle . . .”

“They meaner than us, Dad!  I give them one packet.  Only make them a couple of gallon.”

She ducked down into the T82's interior and returned with a modest package wrapped in gold colored foil.

She made a point of securing the oats before giving them the package.  “We going be in much trouble for this.  Oats is least you can do.”

As they retreated, I noticed that Thomas had a diabolical grin.  Dashie, on the other hoof, simply hopped up on the T82 and tripped something on her control box.

The turret turned and the main gun lowered some.  It pointed the big main gun directly at the drover's camp.

All that Thomas would say was, “It De Writer tea.  Never know what happen. Best be safe!”

Wind's ears perked up!  Almost too casually, she asked, “Is that thing loaded?”

Dashie sort of shrank a bit as she replied, “Yes.  Have five case ammo.  Two explosive, three solid shot.  Five round in each case.  De Writer give them to me when I get tea.  Dad not like me have it.”

“OOPS! No time talk now!  They getting water boiling!”

KD sidled up to Wind, “You seem to know a lot about this thing.  Just how dangerous is it?”

Wind put an arm over KD's neck as she replied, “That depends on which kind of round Dashie has in the gun.  A solid shot will rip a crater about two or three meters across.  The flying dirt and stone from the fire place will make a deadly spray.

“If it is an explosive round, it will blast a hole about five or six meters across.  It will scatter fragments of the shell and any loose stone or dirt too.

“Yes, the T82 could wreck any ordinary fortress in Equestria.”

KD was chortling, “I hope that the tea is worth a shot!  Not only would I like to see that, I did not like those ponies at all.”

Thomas overheard and replied, “They not get hurt.  De Writer not crazy. Have spell on T82 it not hurt any pony or intelligent being.  Can do much property damage.  That educational part of toy.  Dashie get to fix up damage.  Study hard her magics since she get it from De Writer!”

The wayside ponies added the tea to the water boiling in their big kettle.

As they did, Thomas asked urgently, “What De Writer say about brew tea?”

Dashie's brow wrinkled, “He say make in ceramic pot only a little at a time. It good for cold morning!”

Just then the flames began in the drover's big kettle of boiling water!  They burst up in a great gout of blue and yellow fire!  We could feel the heat from where we were!  The sides of the big iron pot glowed red, then yellow!  They began to melt!

In only seconds, the sides gave way and the tea gushed out, drowning the campfire, not that it was much help!  The wood instantly went to ash! The tea soaked into the bottom of the fire place and the flames slowly subsided.

The heat had driven the drovers away from camp and wagon.  The whole side of the wagon that had been facing the tea was charred.  There were small wisps of smoke arising from it here and there.

Thomas was sitting on his rump laughing.  “Now know why fix in ceramic pot and only little at a time!  Definitely good for cold morning!”

While the drovers were frantically hitching up and hauling out of there, Thomas was thoughtfully heating water in an iron pot.  He called up, “Dashie!  Packet tea.  Small measure.  Ceramic pot I know you got in there!”

She popped up out of the hatch and gave Thomas the things that he had asked for. KD, who could breathe fire, quietly backed up.

Dashie saw it and reasured her, “With De Writer tea, follow direction important.  We see what NOT do.”

Thomas added boiling water to the small, indeed tiny, measure of tea in the pot.  Flame poured out the spout and leaked around the lid.  It soon died.  Thomas poured a small cup and smelled it.

“Have good nose.”  He sipped.  Eyes wide, he exclaimed, “This one of De Writer's best teas yet!  Try some, Dashie!”

She promptly poured a cup for herself.  “It good dad!  Thanks!”

Wind added vegetables to her pot of boiling water and soon the savory scent of vegetable stew filled the camp area.

While it was cooking, she took Dashie and they entered the woods.  It was not long before they returned with a couple of squirrels and a few bunnies.  This time, it was Dashie, turned dragon, who toasted the carnivore lunch.

After everything was cleaned up and put away, Dashie strolled over to the camp that the drovers had used.  While we watched, she actually pushed a few heat broken stones of the fireplace back to position. Somehow, they stuck.  What really got me though was her casually picking up the hardened iron from the melted pot and the original fire grilles and sort of pushed, pulled and squeezed on them to make a good, substantial grill for supporting cook pots.  It went into its place.  She carefully scouted the camp, leaving bright green grass where it had been fire browned.

A grinning KD got several quick sketches!

Wind reminded us all, “The Manehatten fairgrounds turn off is only about another hour down the road.  Shall we be gone?”

It did not actually take us an hour to get there.  We all disembarked from the T82 and did stretches.

Among the assorted goodbyes, I heard Wind ask KD, “I am not on a schedule. Mind if I tag along to see your art show?”

I personally, after wishing Thomas and Dashie well, inquired, “Would it be possible for me to get some of that De Writer tea?”

He practically pounced on me!  “How much you want?  He send a crate of it!  Got lots!”

“I could use several packages.  Say, five?”

“Dashie! Get Grumpy five packets De Writer tea!”

Her voice muffled by being inside her machine, she retorted, “FIVE?  What he want to do?  Melt T82?”

As I took the packages of potentially deadly tea, Thomas pointed out, “You know Grumpy do magic.  Pony here seem mostly think only unicorn do magic.  Grumpy use much ritual and misdirection to keep them from catch on.  I bet tea become part of that.”

My already high respect for Thomas went up another big notch.  I nodded, “Right, Thomas.  Also, once the fire burns off, it makes a really good tea. Right up there with Rom black.”

Wind told the group, “Well, I promised to send you back from here.  Is it time to go?”

Though Dashie looked a little downcast, Thomas nodded, “It been fun here, but yes.  It time to go home.”

Wind reached into her bag of holding and fished out a thing that looked like a map.  She traced out what looked like a route on it with a delicate touch of one claw.

The pale blue oval of a portal big enough to drive a T82 main battle tank through appeared.  Thomas climbed the passenger steps, up onto the back of the iron monster and our friends drove through.  The portal silently vanished.

I turned to KD.  “Which way to the Art Show?”

She nibbled a gator chow treat and pointed.  “My studio first!  Then off to the show!”

KD snickered, “You two are little!  Hop on my back and we will make better time!”

As Wind boosted me up and then leaped up herself, she said, “I could get used to this.  Traveling places without having to walk, I mean. First, the T82!  That was fun!  Now I get to ride dragonback again!”

I looked back, trying not to miss the sight of Manehatten's famously tall buildings.  Many of them were over five levels tall!  Some, in the downtown area looked to be way taller!

I commented, “Again?  You have ridden dragons before?”

“Just one, Grumpy.  My daughter Aurixa.”

That gave me real pause.  I ventured, “Adopted?”

Sort of.  I found her egg out in the wilderness not that far from Mama Dragon's cottage.  I was there when Aurixa hatched.  She imprinted on me as her mother.

“When she grew up some, we used to play together a lot, including riding her. I love flying on dragonback!

“Anyway, she grew up to where she was too big for that.  Last I saw her, Aurixa was bigger than a house.  I need to go home to Mama Dragon's and visit her.  I miss them.”

We came to a nice two level house in the outskirts of town.  The only odd thing about it from the outside was that the door was bigger than usual. KD got out a key and let us in.

The inside WAS unusual!  The whole second level floor had been knocked out, leaving  a sort of rim around the single large room.  It was just the right height to serve as shelves for KD!  There were a few scorch marks on the walls, souvenirs of her hiccups!

There were paintings and drawings in profusion!  All was neatly organized. Drawings were in X-frames and paintings were racked or stood against the walls.

KD selected a number of drawings, including some from her sketchbooks filled up on the trip here.  Truly professional, she framed the drawings and sketches behind glass.  She had frames at the ready for her paintings.  It took her about an hour and a half for her to be ready.

She put on a harness designed to carry framed work and suggested, “Load me up! The Manehatten Art Show is only about a kilometer from here!

We trudged through some pretty fancy streets and up a hill to a small estate.  I giggled when I saw the iron scroll work lettering over the gate.

Wind nudged me and whispered, “Pretty up front about it, aren't they, Grumpy?”

The letters said, “Snob Hill Estate.”  Under it was a banner proclaiming, “Snob Hill Art Festival!  Opening soon!”

The pony watching the gate seemed both pleased and surprised to see KD. “Krystal!  I was told that you would not be able to make this show! Let me announce you to the committee!”

She held him gently back.  “Please don't, Edward.  I am most curious as to who is saying that I would not come to this show.”

He sort of scraped the pave with a forehoof and looked down as he said, “I am not supposed to gossip about our patrons.”

KD grinned as she flipped him a silver bit.  “You said nothing!”

Expertly fielding the coin, he said, “Of course it could not possibly be Drawin Pitcher spreading rumors about you.”

KD grinned, with many teeth, as she replied, “Of course not.  Why would a fine artist like Drawin say anything negative about me?

“Oh, Edward, these fine beings are guests of mine.”

We went on in, following KD.  She went straight for the main entrance to Snob Hall.

Even before we entered, we heard, “You know, I am really sorry to say that KD not only won't be making this show, it looks like she will have to give up the Daring Do contract.”

As she was about to charge in and confront the speaker, I gave her leg a tug. “Not quite yet, KD.  Now, it is contract time.  I suspect that this one can be really simple and oral, witnessed by Wind, here.”

I don't think that I have ever seen as many teeth as showed in KD's grin. “What sort of contract do you have in mind, Grumpy?  I don't have a hundred gold on me.”

I pointed inside, “I overheard that.  I will take one golden bit, ownership of that painting of Wind by the T82, and an autographed copy of the new book when it comes out.  Thanks to the one bit, the magic will work.

“You can still enter the painting in the show as an original, on loan from the owner.

My refund terms will be one gold, one silver plus return to your ownership of the other items.

“What will happen is that not only the one who sabotaged you, but any accomplices will reveal their parts in such a way that they will receive the maximum of embarrassment.  Attempts to extricate themselves will only dig them deeper.”

KD nodded slowly.  “That sound pretty good.  Can we include some career help for her, IF AND ONLY IF, she stays on the straight and narrow?”

I nodded, sucking in the cheeks that I don't really have.  “I will include that.  But only if it will still embarrass her.”

KD's tail wagged in delight, threatening several ornamental plantings! “Done!  Here is the bit!.”

There was a brief flash of yellow in the sunlight.  I put it in my saddlebag.  “Wind, did you witness the contract and it's terms?”

If Wind's feral grin was not answer enough, her, “I did.  You have a contract,” was.

KD breezed in through the big ornate doors.  Cheerfully she called out, “Sorry to be late but I see that I am still in time for entering my latest works!”

The yellow mare with the green mane and tail that exclaimed, “It's KD! We have to get her out of here!” had to be Drawin Pitcher!

That was confirmed in mere seconds.  KD said amiably, “I don't know what you are on about, Drawin!  Oh, I see that you have some neat things up already!  Let me get a closer look!”

As the blue dragon approached the hanging works, she absently pulled one of her crushed gem topped snacks from the bag.  She was holding it so that all that could be seen was the topping.  She started to munch it down as she got up close to the drawings and paintings of her rival.

Drawin Pitcher frantically charged KD and pushed her head aside, away from her art.  “Please!  Don't incinerate my art!”

KD turned her snout to aim directly at Drawin and asked in a mild voice, “Whatever to you mean, Pitcher?  Why would I incinerate anypony's art?”

Drawin dodged behind a portly pony who was watching the scene unfold with interest.  His cutie mark was a stack of books.  He turned to her and, greatly puzzled, asked, “Why are you afraid of KD, Drawin? She has participated in many shows around the kingdom and never any incident like you seem to fear.  

“True, last show she got a minor case of hiccups but controlled them and caused no harm at all.  Why are you afraid now?”

There was a mumbled reply.

“What? That made no sense at all!  What do you mean, it's the muffins?”

KD offered, “You were in industrial chemistry before you became a publisher, right, Mister Hazard?”

“I was.”

“Read this.  It will explain most of the problem with the dragon muffins from this bag.”  She fished in one of her bags and gave him a folded paper.  “It is the Ponyville Police Department's Forensic Chemistry Laboratory report on the dragon muffins from this bag.”

His eyebrows rose sharply at what he read.  “Zinc metal?  That much in each muffin?  No wonder you were having fire blast hiccups! Obviously, that little bag can't have held many of them.  Why is she afraid of you now?”

For an answer, KD took a treat out of the bag and gave the bag to Mister Hazard.  As she munched the treat, she pointed out, “I just emptied the bag.  Notice how it has another treat in it now?”  She pointed to a large painting on one wall, “Is that a Clyden Dale?”  As he looked, she held up the bag.  It had returned.

“See, Mister Hazard, the bag is enchanted by a form of non Equine magic. It always has another treat and it always comes back to me.  That is why Drawin is afraid of me. She expects me to erupt in flame at any moment.  It won't happen though.”

A despairing Drawin Pitcher hung her head.  “It has to.  Once the bag is set, you can't change it.”

KD grinned.  “Want to bet, Ms. Pitcher?  Thanks to Grumpy, here, we not only sorted out your little scheme to end my art career, we met a Zebra (not Zecora, Ponyville has TWO zebras now) who was familiar with the spell.  He showed us how to re set it.  These treats are harmless.  Really tasty, too.”

Mister Hazard suggested, “Now that is taken care of, let's get your things entered and hung.  We were saving you a panel for your work.  Thanks to Ms. Pitcher, we almost put your panel away.  That is it, over there.”

KD smiled properly for a collection of important ponies and began setting her selections out along the bottom of the display panel.  As an aside to us, she commented, “The Show's Committee will have the final call about what is hung and what is not.”

She looked about and zeroed in on Drawin Pitcher.  “Drawin, if you will do it, I have a little actual paying work for you!”

The yellow mare looked up from where she was about to fill out some papers at the art show's main desk.  “What can you possibly want from me, KD?  After everypony finding out about my trick, I was going to withdraw from the show.”

KD agreed, “It was a pretty dirty trick, Drawin.  Only the ponies here right now know about it, though.  That does not change the fact that your work is first rate.  Stay in the show.  We can cover this up really easily.  My pieces will need labels.  As far as I know, you are the best calligrapher in Manehatten.

“Any pony claiming bad blood between us will have to explain how YOUR distinctive calligraphy is on my labels.”

“Why are you trying to help me, after what I did?”

KD sat and scratched at her jaw spines with her big left hind claws before answering, “Critical thinking, Drawin.  There are two parts to you. One is more than a bit mean and underhoofed.  The other makes works like the ones over there on the wall.  That last part is too valuable to lose.  The first part should be lost, if you can.

“I am trying to save that valuable second part.”

Sourly the green maned yellow mare said, “I see.  Actually, thanks.  I need sales from this show or money from somewhere else or I could lose my studio.”

Laying a big claw gently over the withers of Drawin, KD said, “I do understand.  Before I got established, I was there more than once. Here is my list of titles.  What will you charge me?”

“After this?  I may need money but I don't need it that badly.  I will get right on these.”

“Fair enough, Drawin.  When you finish these up, go talk to Mister Hazard. He has a commission, no committees or the like.  I had to let it go, due to time constraints.  It might be just right for you.”

Watching in fascination, wondering where the embarrassment would come from, I felt a really sort of creepy sensation.  I was not sure, but it seemed to involve the two strange ponies standing outside the door.

I saw Drawn Pitcher hard at work, her pen producing truly excellent calligraphic labels for KD's art.

I hated to interrupt, but there could be a life or more in the balance.  I really did not care one way or the other about the yellow mare's life, but KD DID.  That tipped the scales, as it were.

I strolled over to her.  “May I interrupt you briefly, Ms. Pitcher?”

She looked up with a glare, paused and made an obvious effort to compose herself.  “Um, you are the goat that KD brought here, aren't you?”

“Correct. My card.”  

I proffered my business card.  It was embossed stock with raised lettering in black and gold gilt.  It said:

GRUMPETER “GRUMPY” GOAT

Licensed Practitioner of Non Equine Magic

All work by publicly registered contracts.

Refund of 110% if contract terms are not met.

A ROYALLY CHARTERED BUSINESS

“Impressive. How can a goat even have a Royally Chartered business?”

I sort of sucked in my nonexistent cheeks a little and retorted, “By being VERY good at what I do.  I wanted to ask you about how you got that bag.  I know that it was not made on this world. Either you summoned it, or you summoned a being that brought you the bag.

“Since you knew how to load it and trick KD into taking it, my money is on the second choice.”

She sort of hung her head and absently scraped at the floor with a hind hoof as she replied, “You are right.  I did summon something.  It was like a cloud of ugly dark smoke with eyes floating in it.  I told it what I wanted to do.  I mean make KD so that she would lose the contract, but not be actually hurt.

“It brought me the bag and told me how to set it.”

I nodded as parts started falling into place.  “I see.  Two more questions. Which book did you use and did your summoning go right on the first try?”

“Umm, I was afraid to try the Necronomipony.  It has such a dangerous reputation.  I used the Black Pullet as printed by Non Equine University Press.

“And no.  I had to try twice for the summons to work.  Is that important?”

Urgently, I asked, “Did you clean everything up after the failed try, or did you re use the same pentacles?”

“I re used them.  Getting everything right was a LOT of work.”

I chuckled.  “I do know about that!  Non Equine magic is way harder than just waiving a wand around!

“Thing is, I believe that your first summoning may have worked.  That is why I was checking on what you did.”

“What! Nothing happened.  That is why I tried a second time.”

“I do understand, Drawin.  I was just clearing something up.  I will let you get back to your lettering.  Beautiful work, by the way.”

Now sure of what happened, I sauntered over to the door.  I gave the ponies waiting there my best, fang filled grin.  “I see that you noticed that until the show opens tomorrow, that this is a private residence. Vamponies here in Equestria need to be invited into homes.  The succubus should be able to enter without a problem.  That means that she is tied to you, ma'am.”

I covered up my glamored in fangs as I bowed to them.  “My name is Grumpeter Goat.  Grumpy for short.  As you have likely already noticed, I am dead.  Not a zombie or anything like that, but totally deceased.  Let us retire over to that bench under the shade tree in the garden while we talk.  If that talk goes well, I will invite you in myself.”

The vampony nodded.  “That makes sense, sort of.  My name is Jinni and this is Sassy to her friends.  Not sure what sort of power real names have here, but for now, I am not taking the chance.  Getting out of the sun is a good idea.”

As we seated ourselves comfortably out in the garden, Sassy ventured, “What do you want to talk about?  I don't think that we have done anything wrong.”

I raised a hoof in agreement.  “Not yet, you haven't.  You have already noticed that this world runs on slightly different rules than where you came from.  I saw you try to enter through that open door.  I am sure that nopony saw it.  That is a rule that is different from your home.  You can freely enter any public space, the door of a store, for instance.  Private homes, not without an invitation.

“Daylight leaves you no stronger than an ordinary pony.  Night will let you be about twenty times that strong.  It will increase your ability to control your prey as well.

Jinni nodded slowly, “We have noticed some of that.  Why are you trying to help us?”

I curled a lip and my eyes slitted.  “I don't like most ponies very much, at all.

“Now, you need to understand some basic rules.  This world is well aware of vamponies.  They have tried and true methods of hunting down and destroying supernatural beings.  So, the best way to manage, is to not draw attention to yourselves by leaving a trail of dead, dying and wounded ponies behind.  Use your talents at prey control to take only small amounts at any one time.  

“Let them think that they had a pleasant interlude with you, except for Sassy, there.  They will feel like they had a fun INTERLEWD with her.”

They both had the courtesy to wince at my pun.

Jinni offered, “We came here because we sort of felt drawn to this place. We aren't sure why.  Do you know that, Grumpy?”

“As a matter of fact, Jinni, I do.  You were summoned here by a spell strong enough to warp you both into ponies.  I don't know what you looked like before and don't care.  Your natures have been preserved. There is a connection between summoner and summoned and that is what brought you here.  The pony that summoned you is inside that place. She was trying to cut a rival out of a lucrative book illustration contract.  She has failed.”

Sassy paused to think carefully.  “What should we do and why would you let us into that house?”

I grinned again.  Gave them a great show of phony fangs.  “As I pointed out, the path of safety lies in moderation.  If you agree to it, I can let you in to play fanpony to our guilty party.  You know, autographs and the whole nine yards.  Her name is Drawin Pitcher. She is yellow with a green mane and tail.  Because she summoned you, SHE can't keep you out of HER home or any private space of hers.

“She can do one thing for you that will make the rest worthwhile, unless you REALLY LIKE being ponies with unusual diets.  She has the spell book and knows the spell that will send you back where you came from.”

Both responded at once, “WE DON'T!”  Jinni added with a smile that showed her fangs, “It IS fun for a nice visit.  Say, a week or two. Shall we go in?”

“I shall precede you, ladies, and introduce you to the nice young mare who invited you to this world.”  Reaching the door, I stepped in and bowed, “Jinni and Sassy, would you please come in?  The artist that you are looking for is over at that desk.”

Jinni's eyes were glued to KD.  “That is a dragon!”

“No kidding.  That is KD, the artist who Drawin was trying to muscle out of the contract.”

That got them both to focus.  They squealed fairly quietly as they descended on Drawin Pitcher!  “It's really her!  Oh, Ms. Pitcher!  It is so great to actually meet you!”

At first, she tried futilely to fend off the duo.  I noticed that her really good calligraphy was now labeling all of KD's works, hanging on both sides of her panel.  I realized that the two were interfering with Drawin Pitcher's signing something for Mr. Hazard of Haphazard House Publishing.

We found out what it was very quickly.  Jinni squealed in delight, “Your first book of art!  They will be the luckiest foals in the kingdom that get to color your drawings!  Can I get a copy with your autograph on it?”

Drawin Pitcher looked like she was ready to sink through the floor with her face aflame.

I cheerfully leaned up against KD and questioned, “What do you think of Drawin's cheering section.  They will be fanponying  her for the next few weeks!”

KD watched with amusement.  She offered, “You really did not get much for all of your trouble, Grumpy.  If you wanted to, you could make a killing off the painting of Wind by the T82.  Not only do the critics think that it is a great piece of fantasy realism, Wind has agreed to stay for the show and pose by the painting so ponies can see her genuine metal arm and sword.  The show has not opened yet and there have been three bids.  The last one was for over a thousand gold bits.”

I agreed, “Monetarily, this contract was a bust.  At least I did not have to give out a refund.  I am going to keep the picture.  It is a better treasure to me than gold.”

KD chuckled, “Are you feeling all right?  I thought that I just heard you say that something was worth more than gold!

“Drawin will be both taken care of by that contract and embarrassed to death. It is an open ended one to draw foal's coloring books.  The money is really pretty good but even with her good work doing well at shows, she will always be remembered as the mare that draws those foal's books.

“Our contract is fulfilled, Grumpy.  You will get the autographed Daring Do book when it is ready for distribution but before it hits the stores.”

~THE END~

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[mypetshopworld]

Cat friendly plants that will not poison your cat and 15 of the deadliest Plants that can kill your cat?

Not all plants are cat-friendly. 15 plants you should avoid when you have a cat. 

Nothing is more beautiful and inspiring like a bunch of flowers or potted plants that give the last touch to your home. Flowers add a beautiful and welcoming touch to every home. Unfortunately for different reasons when you have cats you need to consider the plants you buy and have to choose them carefully as some of the plants can be toxic for your cats. Cats love to nibble on plants, it helps them to digest the food and get rid of hairballs. We all know that cats are carnivorous but they love to munch on greenery around the house and garden. There is quite a long list of deadly plants what can harm your cat.

Cats love plants, and sometimes they rub themselves on the plants or sit in the flowerpot. The danger starts when they start nibbling the plants as this can end deadly. Individual plants and flowers are toxic beyond any means and can put cats straight into shock, and that can cause heart failure or kidney failure. We go through some subjects like 15 toxic plants for your cat What should you watch out for and what are the symptoms Symptoms that affect the organs directly What to do when you suspect your cat been poisoned What Plants are Cat-Friendly and will not harm your cat Preventive measures 1.Lilies a favourite plant and flower but highly toxic for your cat Lilies can cause kidney failure in your cat. I know the yellow dust from the flower stamps get everywhere and I know my cats ... they are everywhere so I don't want them to be yellow or brown and I do not want them to poison with the lilies.

(  Lilium species ) 

Tiger Lilies Day-Lilies Stargazer Lilies Easter Lilies Wood Lilies Japanese Lilies Rubrum Lilies I love lilies but with my cats, I do not buy them anymore.  There are other beautiful smelling plants or flowers that you can use around cats and they do the same job in making your home look welcoming or beautiful.  2. The beautiful Daffodils another poison plant for your cat,  Daffodils make cats vomit and cause an upset stomach. Cats usually only show symptoms if a larger portion of bulbs, foliage or pods are ingested. It will lead to poisoning, and it will show with signs of dehydration, vomiting, electrolyte imbalance, diarrhoea, and discomfort in the abdominal area. Make sure when your cat shows the symptoms you get to a veterinarian so he can check how dangerous it is. 3.All kind of Aloe vera. ( Agave Americana, Barbados or Curacao aloe) What is good for us humans must not be suitable for cats. The whole family of Aloe Vera can cause a toxic reaction to cats. Those plants also have thorns and cats and dogs can easily be insured by the thorns. Especially the longer ones. 4. Oleander is a deadly plant for your cat even it looks so beautiful. 

I love Oleander, it is such a beautiful plant for the sake of my cats I gave up Oleander. Unfortunately, Oleander contains cardiac glycoside toxins that affect your cat's heart. Every single part of that shrub plant is highly toxic for your cat and dog. 5. Castor Bean is a deadly plant for your cat.  The seeds and leaves contain a highly toxic glycoprotein with the name ricin. Only a small amount of the seeds or beans ingested by your cat but also for dogs can end deadly. 6. Are daisies poisonous for your cat? Daisies are also from the chrysanthemum family and yes they are toxic to your cat. It starts with vomiting, diarrhoea, skin irritation, hypersalivation and loss in coordination. Act fast when your cat shows signs look for a vet, the symptoms are similar to tick poisoning both should not be taken lightly and it is advised that you visit as quickly as possible your veterinarian.  According to the ASPCA, the Gerbera jamesonii also called Gerber daisy is on the other hand non - toxic for cats and considered a safe plant. It is a bit confusing and to make sure that you do not mix it up to keep them both as far as possible from your cat.

With Petplus you can buy the medicine up to 50% cheaper than over the counter. FREE 24/7 PET HELP Unlimited access to Veterinary telehealth specialists 24/7 via email, chat or phone. Our members can easily save between $300 and $800/year on unnecessary vet visits. Normally a $130/year value. Free with PetPlus. Click here to access Pet Plus  7. Rhododendrons and Azaleas are poisoning to your cat  When indigested by your cat both Rhododendrons and Azaleas contain grayanotoxins. Those toxins are in all parts like the pollen and the nectar. The average calculation is 1g/per kg of body weight. (especially dangerous for kittens) These toxins called grayanotoxins affect the skeletal muscles, cardiac muscles, and nerve function in pets. It affects the heart and can cause an irregular heartbeat, it causes weeping, vomiting, salivation, weakness, convulsions, coma and death. Azaleas are also often given as a gift. Consider if you have a friend who has a pet not to give azaleas. As beautiful as they are kept in mind that they are highly toxic for your furry friends. Those plants are the more poisonous ones and you should bring your cat in case of poisoning straight to a veterinarian. 8. Hyacinths are less poisonous to your cat.

You ask why it is simple the bulbs of your hyacinths are under the earth and if you store them to make sure you keep them safe and secure from your cat.  The bulbs are toxic to your cat. I have seen cats playing with the bulbs but never eating them or nibble on them. In any case, keep them away as they are toxic and can cause in rare cases death. 9.Tulips a high toxins plant that is poison for your cat. The toxins of tulips are concentrated in the bulb. Severe symptoms of poisoning include an increase in heart rate, and difficulty breathing. Symptoms according to ASPCA:  Vomiting, depression, diarrhoea, hypersalivation. 10. Begonias beautiful plants but toxic for your cat. According to the ASPCA has listed all species of begonias being toxic to cats and dogs. If a cat digests the begonia it can cause oral irritation, hypersalivation, difficulty swallowing and vomiting. Difficulty in swallowing can result in joking. Be aware when your cat shows sign. The more toxic part of the plants are the begonia tubers.

11. Umbrella Tree also is known as Schefflera actinophylla a mildly toxic plant for your cat. 

Your cat has to eat a lot of the Umbrella tree to be toxic. The small or big amount each cat is different and it can cause toxic poisoning to your cat. The symptoms will be mild like diarrhoea and vomiting. It should not be matter mild or strong poisoning it causes pain and suffering for your cat and I am sure you do not want your cat to suffer.

12. Spider plants again a less toxic thread to your cat.

Spider plants do attract like the light the mot. The long-reaching leaves playing with the wind make a tempting play for your cat. Especially for cats who are bored or if there is only one cat in a household. Cats can easily reach them as they are mainly hung in baskets. Symptoms for ingesting the spider plants are vomiting, retching, salivation and anorexia. Even those plants are less toxic resist the temptation to buy them and put them into your household. Cats are different some cats play easy with anything and are tempted to play and nibble on this plant. Some cats are stronger and some are weaker. Don't take any chances.

13. Australian Ivy Palm another deadly plant for your cat 

In south-east Asia, you find a lot of this plant. Nearly every street corner has at least one of those palms. These palms have toxic substances like Terpenoids,  saponins, and insoluble oxalates. Symptoms;  Oral irritation, pain and swelling of mouth, tongue and lips, excessive drooling, vomiting, difficulty swallowing.  If you see your cat have difficulties swallowing or swelling in the mouth area, tongue and lips then you have to bring your cat immediately to an emergency animal hospital. Swelling of the mouth, tongue and lip can cause suffocation to your cat.

FREE 24/7 PET HELP Unlimited access to Veterinary telehealth specialists 24/7 via email, chat or phone. Our members can easily save between $300 and $800/year on unnecessary vet visits. Normally a $130/year value. Free with PetPlus. Click here to access Pet Plus 

14. A deadly plant called  Dieffenbachia or also known as Dumb Cane.

Dieffenbachia is a beautiful plant and easy to grow. When it is healthy it is a lush green plant. The dieffenbachia contains toxic insoluble calcium oxalates and proteolytic enzymes. The Dieffenbachia also is known as the Dumb Cane has made its name due it has a numbing effect when the leaves are orally consumed. When consumed or chewed on by your cat it causes an oral irritation like the intense burning of the mouth what results into numbing effect to the mouth and then swallows to the throat. Excessive drooling and vomiting. It can cause life-threating moments when the throat of your cat swells up and your cat cannot breathe anymore. The dieffenbachia is one of the more dangerous houseplants to keep around if you have pets. 15. The famous Mistletoe for humans but can kill your cat. It is a deadly plant ...

Also called the American Mistletoe. A kiss under the mistletoe with your loved one beautiful memory. Keep in mind to hang it high enough and unreachable for your cat if you need to have a mistletoe. American Mistletoe contains toxic substances like Toxalbumin, Pharatoxin Viscumin (Lectins, Phoratoxins). What can cause vomiting, diarrhoea, low blood pressure (rare), difficulty breathing, low heart rate? A low heart rate needs to be treated immediately from a veterinarian. If your cat tries to reach your mistletoe and got hold of it and on top, she is chewing on it bring her straight to the vet. Your cat could go into shock and death within a few hours. Here is a list of the most common toxic plants for cats. Those plants are the most commonly encountered plants around. You can find them easily in any flower shop or Plant nursery.  When cats become bored they do all thoughts of things, the best solution is keeping your cat busy...

Most common plants that are poison and can kill your cat.

Amaryllis (Amaryllis sp.) Azaleas and Rhododendrons (Rhododendron sp.) Desert Azaleas (Adenium obesum) Autumn Crocus (Colchicum autumnale) Baby's Breath Boxwood Castor Bean (Ricinus communis) Chrysanthemum (Chrysanthemum sp.) Cyclamen (Cyclamen sp.) Dieffenbachia English Ivy (Hedera helix) Poison Ivy Kalanchoe (Kalanchoe sp.) Lantana (Lantana Camara) Lilies (Lilium sp.) Lavender ( Lavendula Angustifolia) Mint Marijuana (Cannabis sativa) Mock Azalea (Adenium obesum) Mistletoe ( American Mistletoe)  Oleander (Nerium oleander) Peace Lily (Spathiphyllum sp.) Pink Pearl Pothos (Epipremnum aureum) Sago Palm (Cycas revoluta) Silver Dollars Spanish thyme (Coleus amphibious) Tulip and Narcissus bulbs (Tulipa and Narcissus sp.) Yew (Taxus sp.) I know when I saw the first time the list and it is a big list, I thought I can not have any plants. Wrong there are so many plants what do not poison or at least not deadly. If you keep cat grass or cat bamboo around your cat will leave the other plants alone.

What should you watch out for, and what are the symptoms for your cat?

Difficulty in breathing Gastric irritation Coughing and sneezing Vomiting and/or diarrhoea Bluetongue and gums Panting ( heavy breathing ) Dilated pupils Frequent urination Shivering Salivation Seizures, tremors or involuntary muscle twitching Weakness and potentially unconsciousness Depression Dark urine

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Symptoms that affect directly the organs

#Many Plants are irritants and they affect often the gastrointestinal tract. ( cats chew on the plants for many reasons) Symptoms like irritation or inflammation, like swelling, redness or itchiness of the mouth and skin. #In case the toxic principle affects an organ the symptoms seen will be to that organ #If the airways and throat are affected than the symptoms are heavy or difficult breathing. ( some cats try to open their mouth to get more air) #If the mouth, throat, or Esophagus is affected than the symptoms are difficulty in swallowing and drooling. Heavy Breathing is also a sign. #When the stomach and intestines are affected than the symptoms are vomiting and diarrhoea #If the intestine and colon is affected than the symptoms are diarrhoea #When the kidneys are affected the symptoms are dehydration, excessive drinking and urinating. #In case the heart has been affected the symptoms are a slow irregular heartbeat and  low heart rate, Please note according to Veterinarian Melisa Nelson DVM (Doctor of Veterinary medicine )  Early symptoms are nausea/vomiting, stumbling and head tremors and increase urination and drinking (among other signs) later symptoms include: seizures, vomiting, producing little urine and painful kidneys. Source https://www.wikihow.com/Treat-a-Poisoned-Cat What can you do when you suspect your cat is poisoned from the plants

When you are lucky enough to see your cat eating a plant and you are not sure it is poison or not, then you should watch your cat for the next couple of hours to see if she shows any symptoms. First of all, if your cat shows symptoms and you suspect your cat has been poisoned from eating a plant or any other substances than please call immediately your daytime vet or if it is out of hours your nearest pet emergency service. Depends on the poison you need to act fast and should not take any chances. Do not offer your cat water or anything else to make her vomit as this might inadvertently move the poison into the body quicker. Only if instructed by the vet or emergency hotline. Otherwise, you might do more harm than good. If you know what your cat consumed than put it into a container and take it together with your cat to the vet. If your cat has already vomit than take the vomit ( scoop it up ) I know yikes but scoop it up and bring it in a container to your vet. Be aware that your cat when she is sick she might want to hide somewhere, and when you try to pick her up she might scratch and bite you it is a normal reaction, so don't get upset. Be aware.

What Plants are Cat-Friendly and will not harm your cat

Don't worry Nature created also plants for cats that are not poison or deadly. When you look around there are plenty of Plants that are Pet-friendly and they will also suit your home and make your home look welcome.  Here are just a few

The following plants are non-toxic to both cats and dogs:

Blue Echeveria Baby’s Tears Bamboo ( there is a special potplant specially grown for a cat called cat bamboo) Areca or Golden Palm Boston Fern Hens and Chickens Spice Orchid California Pitcher plant Catnip Mistletoe Cactus Christmas Cactus Pearl Plant Celosia Violets Camellia Orchids Lemon balm Rose Lady slipper Sulfur Flower, The full list of toxic plants and non-toxic plants you can download here from the ASPCA Preventive Measures There are plants out in nature what can be fatal for your cat. The same goes for indoors. Be aware when you have a cat that there are deadly plants or flowers even in a bunch that exists. Inviting those deadly plants or poison plants into your home means you invite yourself the trouble. Cats are everywhere and they are nosy they love plants and rub against them or sit in the flowerpot. In some cases, they chew on them. To avoid surprises and accidents happen in your home remove those deadly plants or poisonous plants and replace them with cat-friendly plants. To keep your cat safe create a cat-friendly environment. ( indoor cats) For outdoor and indoor cats be aware and if your cats show signs of poisoning act fast as every minute counts. Here you find the link by ASPCA for all the toxic and non-toxic plants Do you have experience with cat poisoning if so share your experience or if you have any question please feel free to ask. A special thank you to our vet Dr Julian Walter for answering all my questions and helping me with my research.

Please note that this is only advice and if your pet is poisoned please seek emergency care immediately.  You should never put the life of your pet at risk, pets are family.    All yours Melanie Other blogs to read How to Be a Responsible Cat Owner  Turn your passion into a Business ( get a free website including training)  Why my cat is losing hair  Essential Oils for cats and dogs  Petshop world Disclaimer: This website is not intended to replace professional consultation, diagnosis, or treatment by a licensed veterinarian. If you require any veterinary-related advice, contact your veterinarian promptly. Information at mypetshopworld.com  is exclusive of a general reference nature. Do not disregard veterinary advice or delay treatment as a result of accessing information at this site. Read the full article

[tser]

Do you have any tips for a person getting a shelter cat? Do they have any special needs or is these any special things I should do for them?

This honestly depends on the cat, and the shelter. I’ve gotten almost all my cats from shelters but some were from fosters or other rehomes. 

The best people to advise you on the cat’s needs will be the people running the shelter! 

If it is a no-kill shelter, in particular, they should be able to tell you about the cat’s personality and the conditions it has been kept in, and possibly the cat’s history. At a county shelter or animal control shelter the people working there may know less about the cat, but there still may be employees and volunteers there that can help you. Sometimes the cats will have placards on the enclosures that will tell you about the cat’s personality.

It’s a good idea to ask to handle the cat first before you take it home, but keep in mind that the behavior of a cat in an environment like the shelter will often be very different from their behavior in a secure, stable home! Shelters are extremely stressful for cats; being kept in a small cage, or sharing their space with lots of other cats, new people coming and going every day, and so on. Cats react to these stresses in different ways.

Prepare before they come home:

Ideally, give the kitty its own room to start with. You’ll want to give your cat time to settle in; like other animals they need time to adjust. A spare bedroom, a bathroom, or a laundry room works well. Set them up with food, water, and a litter box. Make sure the food, water, and litter box are not too near each other. Cats don’t like to eat near where they poo, and some don’t like their water near their food (because of instinctual desire to keep food and water sources clean).

Set up at least two litter boxes with a couple inches of fresh clean litter. There only needs to be one in the cat’s settle-in room to begin with, but once they leave that room they should have two options. (You should have one litter box per cat, plus one. If you have more than one level in your home, you should have at least one litter box per level.) Find out what litter they were using at the shelter; you may want to start with this litter.

Find out what food they feed at the shelter. You should start the cat on this food, and gradually change to what you want to feed long term. This helps them feel secure and also helps avoid upset tummies from sudden food change.

If possible, see if you can take a towel or blanket that the cat was housed with at the shelter. This will give the cat a familiar scent. In their room, set up a cat bed with this towel or blanket on it. It is also good to provide a hidey-place for the cat, like their carrier, or a cat tent.

Make sure your house is cat-proofed. Cats are climbers, so be sure anything that can be broken or knocked down is secured away. Check for dangers to the cat. Make sure you don’t have any toxic house plants.

If at all possible, provide a nice tall cat tree. A high place to perch will help a cat feel secure and safe. You can also mount cat shelves to the wall. Cats should have a scratching post or scratching pad – sisal rope and cardboard seem to be universal favorites. 

Once your kitty is home:

Let your new cat approach you on their own time. Don’t try to pick the cat up or force your attention on them. Some cats adjust super quickly, and some take more time. Some are outgoing, and some are very shy. Some are cuddly and some are not!

If your kitty is very shy and doesn’t seem inclined to approach you, try being “small”; sit on the floor so the cat can sit above you, or approach on their own level. Spend time near the cat, but ignoring it, such as spending time reading in the room with the cat, or browsing the web on your phone, etc.

Let your cat choose when she is ready to explore.  The cat will start showing interest in the door when it’s opened. Make sure the rest of the house is calm. Let the cat retreat to their own room whenever they want. If you have a dog or small children, a baby or pet gate helps block off a space the cat can retreat to and not be followed.

If you have another cat, here is a good guide on introducing them to each other. Do not let your cats interact until your new cat has had an exam, including blood work to check for communicable diseases. 

Here is a brief guide on introducing a dog to a cat. If you don’t have a dog that can be trusted with cats, I suggest working with a trainer or behaviorist before getting a cat! Some dogs may be too high prey drive to ever trust with a cat. Know your dog.

Cats should not ever be allowed to interact with small animals or prey animals.

Be sure to take your new cat to the vet as soon as possible. The cat may already be neutered by some shelters before you take it home; other shelters give a discount to do so, and many require you get the cat neutered within a certain amount of time. You’ll also want to get a full wellness exam done on a shelter cat, as close-quarters at shelters mean diseases can spread easily. Many shelters provide coupons for the first exam. Find out from the shelter which vaccines your cat will need. 

Play with your cat! Interactive cat toys, such as dangling toys, laser toys, and fishing rod toys are a great way to bond with your cat, and get the cat to exercise. I especially love Da Bird; the way it moves through the air is especially enticing to many cats. Cats over six months may love catnip (young cats don’t react strongly, and some cats never really care about catnip). Each cat has their own toy preferences, so you may have to try a variety. Catnip is not a drug and your cat is not getting “high” on it. Many cats also love valerian root.

I hope this helps. I am sure I missed some things, so anyone should feel free to add to this!

[blackthumbgardenjournal]

10/31/2020 Part 2

Ok, here is part 2! The backyard! This was more of a tidying up thing. I basically pulled up all my tomato plants. They were mostly dead anyways, and I read online that that’s what you’re supposed to do every year and replant. Not sure if I want to replant them next year....the little tomatoes were super cute, but dang it was an awful lot of work to get them there. I kept putting it off because the tops of some of the tomato plants were still green and flowering even if the rest of the plant was dead and brown and pathetic looking. 

Pretty, right?

But, then my kid started trying to eat the gross wrinkly withered tomatoes remaining on it and almost ate a spiderweb, so eventually I sucked it up and pulled everything up. 

The local stray kitty liked hanging out in the dead branches.

There was a lot of space in the raised bed with the kale and chard, so I planted some bokchoy and fennel, as they’re fall plants. 

Notice the little cat-scratch preventer thingies I put in. They actually don’t prevent the cats from doing anything. In fact, one of the stray kitties was LYING on it straight up, like a bed of nails. But....no digging so far, so *knock on wood*

The kitties DID dig up my pepper plants and snapped one very promising one in half which PISSED me off. So, I bought some chicken wire and finagled a little fence around it. The pepper plants actually have a few flowers on them, which was much better than the batch from last year, which was why I was particularly mad at the kitties. When I told my husband about the chicken wire fence, he looked at me like....why did it take you so long? And yes, he’s right, but damn boy, why you gotta do me like that?

Pre-digging and pre-fence. Notice the darker colored leaves up front? Yeah, I have absolutely no idea what plants they are. They seem to be very sturdy and not like the other weeds around it, so I transplanted them to the back. That way they can grow in peace and not disturb my pepper plants. I’m curious as to what they’ll end up being....I’m REALLY hoping they aren’t some weird-ass toxic weed thing.

The other mini-trees are hanging in there. I planted some Anemone bulbs (I don’t know if I spelled this right....because aren’t these also sea-creatures?) next to the foundation mostly because I had no more room for them in the front and it will make the back look less bare. 

The lemon tree is almost ready for harvesting again. My husband has been salivating over the pretty lemons.

The first of the lemons. 

The pumpkins and zucchini were so promising, with big beautiful flowers, and then all the leaves withered and are turning brown. Plus, all the potential zucchinis that were appearing withered away without getting more than a couple inches big. Somehow I KNEW this was going to happen. I always get them started really well, and then they all die before producing anything. Should I be changing my watering habits after they sprout flowers? I literally don’t know what to do. Ugh....

At least there’s one plant that somehow is thriving despite my best efforts. I’ve had to cut them back twice already. Like, chopping them in half, and it just grows back. It’s pretty though, so I don’t mind. I just wish all my other plants were more resilient.

See where they’re growing right out of the cut section?

At least one piece of good news: the Chrysanthemums are blooming again! I guess I could’ve cut down the blooms until there were only a few of them to get the really big flowers, but I don’t mind having a lot of little cute flowers instead. 

I’ll leave you with that picture. 

[ask-de-writer]

HICCUPS!  : MLP Fan Fiction : A Work In Progress

As usual for works in progress, new parts and changes to older ones are done in Boldface type.

HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat <tail>

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

10601 words so far, this is a WORK IN PROGRESS

© 2019 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 11/30/18

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

Characters:

Grumpy Goat and usual cast

Thomas/and/or/Dashie Writer – remote controlled T82

Wind, the Mama Cat

Victor Mordenheim  - Mad Doctor

Krystal Dragoness “KD” Wingless dragon - artist

Fume Hood Unicorn, a bit small-Forensic Chemist

Jinni and Sassy vampire and succubus

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It was being a quiet day out on the ledge in front of my cave.  We were sitting on a bench, out in the sun, rereading Daring Do and the Secret of the Appleoosa Cave.  The stout iron sheeting that blocked the entrance to my cave was warm behind us.

The lovely Coalsmoke, a pony of perfect glossy black except for her cutie mark, was leaning over where my shoulder would be, if I still had a body, or for that matter was even technically alive.  She was admiring one of the illustrations in the book.

“I especially like these illustrations signed KD, Grumpy.  They capture the mood and action really well.”

Sitting on my other side was the finely polished skeleton of an alicorn.  He was the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, the being responsible for my present condition and now one of my few true friends.

He agreed, “Look at how well the artist has made the cave entrance look menacing.  Whoever did this is very good.”

We were distracted from our pleasant reading by a flare of flame down on the trail leading up to my cave.  Looking down the way, I was more or less expecting it to be the torches of another anti goat mob or, more specifically anti Grumpy Goat mob.  

Due to my business, I am less than popular with some ponies.  I have a thriving practice in Non Equine Magic.  Mostly, it does not appear to do anything.  Somehow, the desired, contracted for and paid in advance results just seem to happen by perfectly natural, if often bizarre means.

This time, it was not a mob.  There was a wingless blue dragon toiling up the stony path to my cave.  The next time that she flared, we could hear it.  It sounded like she was suffering from a case of hiccups! Possibly not the best ailment for a dragon to have, since she was burping a smallish fire blast with each hiccup!

When she gained the ledge, she considerately turned her head out away from us. Good thing, too!  She had two hiccups in quick succession!

She offered, “My name is Krystal Dragoness, KD for short.  I've come to you about these hiccups.  They are like to ruin me.  I am at my wit's end.  See, I am an artist.  I draw and paint.  I get going on a piece and these hiccups start up!  One of them is sure to hit my work, and, well, paper, paints, canvas and frames are all pretty flammable! I've even burned up brushes!

“Can you help me to end these hiccups?”

I nodded, making my skull, apparently floating on nothing, with its everburning candle between the horns, glowing snake like eyes and fangs bob.  “I could do that, yes.  It would not cure the basic problem, though. Hiccups usually have a natural cause from tummy and lungs not coordinating right.  If I fix this case, it could easily happen again.

“Let's dig into how this started and whether there is some underlaying cause that we can fix.”

Somewhat disappointed, Krystal nodded.  “That makes sense.  My first case of the hiccups like this happened at my one dragon show in the Sunrise Gallery in Manehatten.  You know how those things are, lots of nobs that you need to chat with and lots of small snacks and drinks.  The show itself was a pretty important one.  

“I landed a contract to illustrate the next Daring Do book.  There was some serious competition for that contract, let me tell you.  It nearly went to Drawin Pitcher.  She wasn't too happy about me getting to do the art for another Daring Do book.  This one will be my fourth.

“I had only just signed the contract when the hiccups started. The first one nearly incinerated my new contract! I was able to get out of the gallery safely when they began.  I was lucky that I didn't hurt anypony or any of my art.”  

She absently pulled a sparkly topped muffin out of a bag and began munching it.  Looking up, a bit embarrassed, she pointed out, “I really can't share dragon muffins with you.  They are topped with crushed gems and have gold or silver dust in the muffin part.  I'm afraid that they are pretty toxic to non dragons.”

Coalsmoke asked curiously, “Where did you get them?  No place in Ponyville makes them at all.  Sometimes the kitchen in Princess Twilight's castle makes up some for Spike but they never sell them.”

Krystal knit her brows in puzzlement.  “I get them out of this bag.  I always like have them when I am a little tense, like when I am concentrating on my art.  Nibbling helps me to focus.”

Just then, she let out another small belch of fire.

Whistling softly, I thought carefully about what I had heard.  “Tell me, Krystal, at the art show, did you have muffins like these?”

“Well, yes.  Any well equipped bakery can make them.  They just have to clean up carefully afterwards.  They always serve them if I am going to be showing any of my works.”

I nodded and looked over at the lovely Coalsmoke, who is always a treat for the ol' eyeballs and asked, “And where have you bought them since that art show in Manehatten?”

She paused, thinking.  “I haven't had to.  This bag always has some in it.”

The eyes that I don't really have widened just a bit.  “It always has some of those muffins in it for you?  When did you get that bag?”

She scratched behind the spines along the back of her jaw as she sorted it out.  “I first noticed it just after I left the gallery at the show where I got those first hiccups.  It's always there when I am tense.”

I glamored my invisible spirit body to look like the handsome tan, black and brown goat that I was before the tiny mistake that killed me and destroyed my original body.  Holding out a hoof, I said, “Just give me the bag, please.  I am going to try something simple with it.”

Nodding affably, Krystal handed me the bag.  I took it inside my cave and shut the iron door.  That door and my cave front were designed by a good firm of military engineers to withstand an Equestrian standard military battering ram.  

It only takes one anti-goat mob burning your house, your library, years of study, hopes for a degree and dreams of well paying work to make one take a few simple precautions.  Add the mob trying to stone your burned and battered body to death to drive home the lesson in how how to hate most ponies.  That trivial incident also motivated my simple and sensible precautions against a repeat of the problem.  Like living in a cave.  With a military fortress grade steel and iron entrance.

I turned about from sealing the door and asked Krystal if she was still feeling tense.  Digging into the bag for a muffin, she replied, “Yes, a little.  Why?”

The Litch King pointed with a foreleg of bone.  “That is why.  He just shut that bag inside his cave and it looks like you have it back.”

He turned his skeletal head to me and stated, “Grumpy, if you can, we NEED to help KD.  Her illustrations really make a Daring Do book!  Plus, we know now that a new one is in the works!  We can't let anything interfere with THAT!”

I shrugged and opened the door.  I was not even surprised that the bag was not there inside my cave any longer.  Krystal munched her muffin and shortly hiccuped another tongue of flame.

I pointed out, “That bag was behind six centimeters of forged iron.  In spite of that, it homed in on you without seeming effort.  Moments after you nibbled that muffin, you hiccuped another flame.  I suspect that there is a direct connection.  To be sure, we need to go back down into Ponyville.  I know someone in the forensic chemistry lab at the police department.  In the meantime, try not to nibble another muffin and let us see if that helps to control or stop the problem.”

On the trail back down to Ponyville, Coalsmoke and I tried to simply hold the bag instead of letting Krystal carry it.  This wise measure proved impossible.  The bag kept sneakily returning to her claws. After what happened up on the ledge in front of my cave, that was pretty much what was expected.

I have to admit that I was pleased by the simple fact that Krystal did keep her claws out of the bag.  We got down the trail and into Ponyville without incident as a result.

Instead of my usual turning towards the town hall and the Hall of Records, to record a new contract, I trotted right on, with a right turn, headed towards the Ponyville Waste Treatment Plant and Falmire Marsh, which is fenced and actually the final stage of the waste water treatment, before it goes into the river.

Coalsmoke was most interested in why we were going where we were going.  Soon enough, we came to a modest stone building close by to the treatment plant.  The sign said,

Ponyville Police Department

Forensics Laboratory

Chemistry, Physical Evidence Analysis,

Forensic Autopsy

As I pushed open the front door, I explained, “I know most of the staff here. Sometimes they will consult with me, when a case is being a pain.”

Coalsmoke chuckled, “How often is one of their nasty cases the result of one of your contracts, Grumpy?”

A smallish unicorn looked up from where he was working at a desk, apparently compiling a report.  “Not really all that often, Miss Coalsmoke. Even when it is, there is no actual evidence that can link the contract to the results.  Grumpy is often a big help in sorting out how something that we are investigating happened.  We pay him a proper consultation fee, of course.”

I introduced, “Coalsmoke, KD, I would like you to meet Fume Hood, one of the best forensic chemists in the whole kingdom.  We are lucky to have him here in Ponyville.”

KD offered, “You have some unusual friends, Grumpy.”

I chortled, “If they aren't unusual in some way, the aren't worth having as friends.”

Turning my attention to Fume Hood, I explained what our situation was in a few words and ended with, “Think that you could do us a rough analysis of one of KD's dragon muffins?”

He thought for a moment, tapping quietly on his desk top before nodding, “You say that the flame is mostly pale blue? Nearly transparent but pretty hot?”

KD shook her head in agreement.  “Right.  That is, unless I eat something with salt in it.  Then the flame is yellow.  Is that significant?”

Fume Hood said, “It MAY be.  I would like to see both your normal flame and one from your hiccups.  Please step over there.  Dragon flame can be pretty handy for some chemistry tests, so we have a small indoor flame range.”

KD stepped over to the flame range's head rest.  Fume Hood lowered the room lights and suggested, “Whenever you are ready, Miss KD.  Just give us a small shot of your regular flame.”

KD's fire blast was impressively different from a hiccup flame.  It was a bright yellow with some red to the center and flame tips that went to a bluish hue.

Fume Hood almost danced pleasure at seeing it!  Perfect!   Normal dragon fire. Now, let's see what we get with one of those muffins.  Go ahead and take one from the bag and eat it.”

He was watching the bag very closely as KD extracted the muffin. “Fascinating.  There is only one muffin in the bag until you take it out.  Then a new muffin forms almost immediately afterwards.”

KD contentedly munched her muffin.  Within moments, she stuck her head into the flame range headrest and belched a nearly pure, pale blue flame.

Fume Hood smiled in chemistly joy.  “Timing and color nail it!  You were right, Grumpy.  There is a direct connection between the muffins and KD's hiccups of flame.  The only reason that she flames at all with them is that, being a dragon, she has a natural ignition spark every time she exhales or belches.  Whatever this vapor she is belching is, it is highly flammable.”

KD's shoulders slumped.  “Does that mean that I can't have Dragon Muffins anymore?”

Fume Hood chuckled as he replied, “I suspect that you can have all that you want.  Just not these, from this bag.”

He went to pull one out.  Looking perplexed, he tried again.  “Humm . . . I can't seem get that muffin out of the bag.  KD, will you get it please?  I need to analyze it.”

Without any problem, KD extracted the muffin.  Fume Hood took it and sliced it in half.  One half he put into a beaker with a lye solution.  It began to dissolve at once.  Soon there was only some slightly coarse granules mixed with loose sparkly fragments of gemstones in the bottom of the beaker.

Fume Hood filtered out the solid residue and rinsed it with water.  Stirring it with a glass rod, he explained, “The lye took away everything but the gems in the topping and the metal dusts in the body of the muffin.  Now, lets see what happens next . . .”

He dripped some acid onto the residue.  “Gems, gold, and silver won't dissolve in this mild acid.”  

In spite of that, something was happening!  It bubbled and fumed something fierce!  Happily touching it off with a sparking wand used to light his lab burners, Fume Hood pointed dramatically!

“There! You see?  Pale blue flame!  See the white residue?  Zinc oxide.  Your muffins are adulterated with zinc!  It reacts with your stomach acids to make hydrogen and that is what, along with a bit of moisture and such that it picks up as you burp is what makes your so called hiccups!  Just don't eat any muffins from that bag and you should be fine.”

He turned to me and snickered, “OK, Grumpy.  We are even now.”

I turned to the perplexed KD and Coalsmoke.  “They needed an autopsy done last year.  The cadaver was over a week old, in August.  I glamored up a form with no sense of smell and did it for them.  Death was from blunt force trauma to the back of the skull.  Clubbed, to be crude about it.”

KD brightened up and commented, “If they get that sort of thing to deal with, it is no wonder that this place is beside the waste treatment plant!”

I agreed, “Right!  Now all that we need to do is sort out how you got a bag that can do what this one does.”

KD put a finger to her cheek as she thought.  “I do know where I got it.  It was at that Manehatten art show that I told you about.  The Dragon Treats that they serve at those things are always kept separate from the pony treats by putting them in bags.  Somepony gave me this bag with a muffin in it, just before I signed that Daring Do contract.”

Fume Hood tapped me on my nonexistent shoulder and pointed to the bottom of the bag.  There was a small trade mark in the form of a silhouette. There was a small bit of advertising too.

KD read, “Redline Party Supplies – For a party to remember for the rest of your life – If you survive!”  She also pointed out, “That silhouette looks like a laughing wolf's head.”

Fume Hood agreed, “It does look like that, doesn't it?  I know of someone who uses a silhouette like that on their business cards.  Here.”  He hoofed over a card.

The card read:

Doctor Mordenheim,

General Surgery and Prosthesis.

Everfree Edge Clinic

Practice inspected and approved by Princess Luna

I was delighted!  “I know where that is!  It was a small old castle that was supposedly built by a -” I made my voice low and shivery while making Hoof Quotes, “- 'Mad Doctor' long before Ponyville was established.  It was in ruins when the Apples came and founded the town.”

Coalsmoke smiled and said, “Right, Grumpy.  I know where it is too.  I send my workers there for general health workups and surgery when it is needed.  Doctor Mordenheim really is very good.  It is not far from here, either.  Let's go see if he can shed any light on this business.”

We left, taking the Falmire Causeway that crossed the marsh, going out towards the southeast side of the Everfree forest.  We paused by a street vendor's cart to watch the antics of her trained alligator.

Have to admit that Pinkie has done a great job of training Gummy!  I mean, he is two and a half meters of fun!  Rumor has it that she has broken him to saddle, but she was not offering rides today.

“Gator Chow, gator chow! / The gators below are hungry now! / Feed the gators down below / It is really quite a show!”

A chuckling Coalsmoke hoofed over coins and got a big bag filled with large chunks.  It said “Certified Gator Chow” on the label.  She shared the chunks around and we spent a few happy minutes tossing them to the many alligators gathered hopefully under the bridge.

There were splashes and chomping a-plenty as the gators lunged about for each new chunk of the chow.  We heard a munching from behind us.

KD, swallowing, asked Pinkie, “Where can I get some more of this stuff? It is pretty good!”

At our stares, she retorted, “What?  Dragon here, remember?  I don't eat grass!”

We left Pinkie to her vending and went on across.  It was not long before we saw the sign pointing to the forest beyond.  It said, Everfree Edge Clinic, General Medicine and Prosthetics.

Only a little way up the designated path of yellow cobbles, we came to a small but well restored castle.  I had to give this Doctor Mordenheim credit for showmanship.  This was one classy clinic.  The sign over an open door read Welcome to Everfree Edge Clinic.

Coalsmoke rang a bell labeled Ring for Service that sat on a beautiful mahogany desk in the lobby/waiting room.

We did not even get to try out the assorted seating and laying cushions.  A large, near horse sized zebra with an eye patch came out of the back. His professional smile turned to a genuine one as he laid eye on Coalsmoke.

“My dear Coalsmoke!  What may I do for you, or is it for one of your friends?”

Suddenly stopping like he'd hit one of his stone castle walls, he gave me a careful and most knowing look.  “I do fear that the goat is beyond any help of mine.”

Coalsmoke smirked just a little as she replied, “You are correct.  This is Grumpy Goat, my long standing friend, of whom I am sure that you have heard.  We are not here for him.

“This is Krystal Dragoness.  She prefers to be called KD.  Our problem is sort of related to her, but it is not medical.”

Resting his chin on one forehoof, as he sat behind the desk, Doctor Mordenheim inquired, “If the problem is not medical, then what is it?”

I held out a hoof, “KD, may I have the bag please?”

I showed him the bottom.  “Somepony named Redline is using your cutie mark on his things.  It has some interesting properties.”

Mordenheim put his face in his hooves.  “I know.  I see that KD has it.  She can't lose it either.  Whatever is in it, seems like an endless supply.  I made it, years ago.  How it got here to this world, I have no idea.”

He was sort of surprised when we all simply found seating and Coalsmoke asked casually, “So, how did you get here?  More to the point, when you arrived, did you meet an elderly blue unicorn with a white mane, tail, and beard?”

Mordenheim looked blank.  “What?  No, I never met anypony like that.”

He got a seriously uncomfortable expression as he elaborated, “I would really prefer not to go into why I wound up here.  Princess Luna knows in detail.  Suffice it to say that the events led me to wandering in the Everfree Forest.  I have no idea at all how it happened, since the Everfree is not all that big, but I was in there for over a week.  Perhaps more, I am not at all sure.  What I am sure of is that the path that I was on did not seem to double back on itself or any thing like that.  Between sun breaks in the forest canopy and the scenery, I am sure that I was not going in circles.

“I happened on the ruin of this old castle.  I might have simply passed it by but it had a small cobbled road leading to it from outside of the forest.  I followed that road and it led me to Ponyville.”  He shook his head in wonder, “It was a very different Ponyville than the one that I left.  By good fortune, I met Caramel Treat, Fangrin and Reverend Smallflower.  The rest all came from meeting them.”

I pointed out, “Fascinating as that is, it completely dodges the question of that bag and its neverending supply of adulterated Dragon Muffins.”

One of Doctor Mordenheim's ears cocked up in fascination.  “Adulterated? How?”

Coalsmoke filled in, “With lots of zinc metal dust, that's how.”

Doctor Mordenheim winced,  “Ouch!  That would make mountains of hydrogen gas!  That could cause a serious problem for a dragon!”

KD confirmed, “It sure does!  The hiccups that it causes have been near the ruin of my art.”

Suddenly you could see things clicking together in Doctor Mordenheim's mind! “KD?  Art?  Did you do the covers and illustrations for Daring Do and the Secret of the Apploosa Cave?  The Adventure of the Singing Sands?  The Nippony Diamond?”

KD nodded, clearly pleased.  “All three!  Why?”

Acting like a foal as he was going to his book shelf, Mordenheim snagged all three books and returned to his desk.  “I love your art, KD, would you please autograph these for me?”

With an impishly evil grin, displaying her big dragon chompers, KD replied, “Sure!”  She was reaching into the bag.  “Just as soon as I snack on this muffin!  Or, you make this bag harmless!”

Grinning right back, and revealing a set of fangs that would not have been out of place in a tiger shark, Mordenheim replied, hoof over heart, “You wound me!  I was going to do that anyway.  You did not need blackmail me.  It did make it more fun, though!”

KD chuckled as she said, “I would not really have done it, Doc.  It was just too much fun to pass up the chance.  So, tell us, why did you make a bag like this?”

Reassured that we did not hold his apparent past against him, he sat back comfortably and half smiled at the memory.  “Revenge.  Count Sourbottom was being a problem, objecting to some of my experi . . . projects.   He had a whole herd of foals of all ages.  One of the youngsters had a birthday party coming up.  I set up one of these for each of them!  Loaded them with the finest, sweetest candies that I could locate.  It was a near perfect revenge.”

Always interested in more ways to get back at ponykind for their mistreatment of me in the past, I asked, “How was giving his foals candy any sort of revenge?”

Suddenly, Coalsmoke put a hoof to her lips to suppress giggles.  “Don't you see it, Grumpy?  He couldn't take them away for discipline because the bags will go right back to the foals.  Worse, the endless supply of sweets could cause all sorts of health and mouth problems that the Count would have to pay for!”

Mordenheim nodded happy agreement.  “Last that I heard, Count Sourbottom was headed for bankruptcy on dental bills alone!”

Going more serious, he offered, “KD, we may be able to save the gem topping of your muffins if we are lucky.  Would you like that?”

KD replied seriously, “That would be great, if we can do it.  I really like their flavor, especially the crushed rubies.  How can we do it?”

Doctor Mordenheim picked up the bag and headed for the outside door.  Over his shoulder, he invited, “Come outside for a simple little experiment.  We can save the gems themselves for sure.  Question is whether we can save the topping that they are in or not.”

He pointed down the yellow cobble road leading to his door.  “Now, my dear, take a muffin out of the bag but don't eat it.”

Mystified, she hoofed over the muffin.  “I understand why I have to get it out, but why not eat it?  What are we going to do with it?”

With total assurance, Doctor Mordenheim replied, “You are going to eat it but in parts.  Here, let me scrape off the topping.”  Carefully he removed the topping, taking none of the muffin itself.  “Just eat the topping.  I will hold the muffin for now.”

With obvious relish, KD did.  Licking it off her claws, she asked, “What now?  I like this test!”

“We wait a bit to see if you get gas.  If you don't, the zinc is only in the muffin part.”

KD cocked her head, brow wrinkled in concentration.  “I don't feel any gas coming on.  That usually happens pretty quick when it does.”

“I see. To finish the test, eat the rest of the muffin now.”

She did. And was soon hiccuping blasts of flame.

Nodding in confirmation, he said, “Just in the muffin then.  We can definitely save the topping for you.  Would you like just this topping or would you prefer it on something?”

“As it happens, I do have something that it might go good on.”

Back inside, she produced a bag.  We all saw Mordenheim's nose dilate as he caught the scent.  His ears shot forward in interest.  Drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth!

“What is that lovely smelling stuff, KD?”

“Gator Chow.  I got it from Pinkie Pie over on the bridge.  She told me that it is made from smoked and flaked meat pressed into bite sized chunks.”

Both Coalsmoke and I were rolling on the floor, laughing!  Getting myself somewhat under control, I commented, “Those teeth of yours are real, aren't they, Doc?”

“Yes, they are.  Is it a problem?”

Coalsmoke, composing herself comfortably on a large cushion, replied, “Not for us.  It was just unexpected.  Looks like Pinkie is going to have to stock in more Gator Chow, is all.  

“This explains why Caramel has mentioned you eating there a lot but I haven't seen you, and I eat there too.  You eat in the back, in her carnivore plaza.”

“Right. Now, KD, those Gator Chow chunks are just about muffin sized.  That is about as big as the bag can handle.  It is time to disarm the bag from those bad muffins.”

He got a large, heavy book from the shelf.  Instead of consulting it, he held it at the ready.

“Now, KD, take the muffin out and move your paws away from the bag swiftly.”

As she did, he slammed the book down on top of the bag!  He held it down for around a whole minute.  Relaxing, he pronounced, the spell is reset. It can now be reloaded and set to anyone.  Just a sec.”

He went into the back and returned with salad tongs and a spreading knife. Selecting one of KD's chow chunks, he carefully and neatly spread the gem topping onto it.  Taking the tongs, he used them to insert the topped chow chunk into the bag.

“Now, KD, just reach into the bag and take out the snack.  That will reset the bag to you with a safe treat.  You also now know how to change treats any time that you want.”

Saying, “Thanks, Doc!”  KD fished out the treat and nibbled it down with gusto!

I was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes that I don't really have. Thinking it over, I pointed out, “KD, whoever set you up was at the show in Manehatten.  The way it works, that spell didn't lock onto you until you took out that first muffin.

“It may be time for a contract or a bit of detective work in Manehatten. Perhaps both.”

Thoughtfully she suggested, “There is another big art show in Manehatten in a few days.  I do have a studio there with some finished pieces that I could enter if I could get there in time.  That would give us the cover that we need for detective work if we can arrive in time.”

I suggested, “If time is a problem, I could try setting up a portal between here and the Manehatten fairgrounds.  It has been a while since I studied that but it is really pretty simple magic.”

We all trooped outside and I began the really pretty basic preparations for opening a portal spell.  I did add a whole lot of “stage dressing” rituals, circles and other misdirection.  I always do.  Better showmanship and it hides what makes it work from prying eyes, even if they are watching.

A glowing circle appeared in the air, just in front of us and barely touching the ground.  Suddenly it began to grow, becoming a huge oval. Something enormous, making a steady pulsing roar and clanking like metal was coming toward us!

First, pretty high up, came a sort of short crossways tube with a hole in it on the side facing us.  The thing continued to advance.  That funny bit was attached to a long metal tube!  Down lower, some big metal plates appeared and then between them  an enormous bridge of metal. Huge wheels of steel supported endless linked plates of more steel!

As the contraption came on out, it was revealed to be a gigantic machine of some sort!  It had sloped sides up to a heavy device on top that the long tube came out of.  That had sloped sides too, as if this thing were made to bounce catapult shots off of it!  There were some serious dents and obvious repairs that made it seem that those slopes were strictly functional!

Sticking her head up out of a hatch in the top was a pony who looked for all the world like Rainbow Dash!  Reinforcing that idea was a brown pegasus with a black mane and tail clinging to the rear of the machine and calling out loudly enough to be heard over the machine's roar!

“Dashie! Stop!  You going to smash through garden wall again!  You crush Jade's herb garden again!  You so grounded!”

Dashie retorted, “I not hit wall, dad!  Big blue hole show up.  I drive through that!  Besides, last time I drive through Jade's herb garden, I fix it better than before.  She ask me to squash it again!”

“And one more thing!  Dashie, you make me good hot tea or you so grounded you need dig up for thousand year to see daylight!”

Innocently she shot back, “If I that grounded, I make you nice tea that De Writer send for me to get you!  It his idea to get it with remote control T82 Main Battle Tank!  If I NOT grounded, I MIGHT be able to find you nice green tea that he never touch!”

The brown pegasus sat hard.  “De Writer ask you to use Remote Control T82 IN CANTERLOT for that tea?  You not so grounded as I thought.”

The one identified as Dashie noticed us from her vantage point, high up in the top part of the T82.  She picked up a small boxy thing with buttons and levers and pushed one of the buttons.  The T82's loud grumbling fell quiet.

“Um, Dad, we come through portal, I think.  You not teach me that magic yet. There ponies here and a dragon.  Come around T82 and you see.  There small castle here too.”

The brown pegasus stepped around the metal monster and courteously introduced, “I Thomas the Writer.  Miscreant who drive T82 through your portal my daughter Dashie Writer.  T82 is educational toy give her by De Writer.”

Mordenheim looked up at the behemoth of steel and remarked, “Where you are from has different ideas about educational toys than any place I have ever been.”

Dashie replied, “It crazy where we from too, but what you expect from powerful wizard like De Writer?  Something safe?  He good to have on your side when trouble come, though.”

She turned about and exclaimed, “The portal gone!”

It was true.  Standing where it had been was a familiar cat otter hybrid with red hair.  She was wearing a well worn cloak of dark green and light seeming chain mail.  Mithril by the look of it.  Her left arm was a prosthesis, a mechanical arm of metal that moved in an utterly natural way.  Under the cloak was the scabbard of a large sword.  In her mechanical hand was a parchment that looked like a map of some sort.

She tucked away the map in a pouch at her waist and looked about, her gaze missing nothing.  Smiling, she waived!  “Hi, Grumpy!  It's me, Wind!  We met at Ponyville Fair, remember?  I am part of Marchhare's band of Rom.   I was going to meet them at Haymarket fair, up north, but this out of control portal got in the way.  I took the liberty of closing it.”

Thomas gave Wind a strangely puzzled look.  “This world with Marchhare in it?”

She shrugged, “I wouldn't be going to meet him and his band if it wasn't!  Why?”

Speaking to Dashie, Thomas said, “This important lesson, Dashie.  How many worlds in multiverse?”

She replied, “Infinite.  Everyone and thing have infinite copies, each a little different.”  Raising her eyebrows in thought, she added, “This a trick question, isn't it, Dad?”

“Sort of. You very quick.  Every rule have exception, right?”

Putting hoof to chin, she thought and then went wide eyed with realization! “Every rule have exception, even that rule!”

Thomas lifted his wings in pleasure.  “Right!  This ONLY world in whole multiverse that have Marchhare!  That is secret to navigation when go between worlds.”

Dashie blinked.  “What happen when he dies?”

“Nothing, Dashie.  Marchhare already dead.  Not die twice.”

We were all listening in amazement.  It was newcomer Wind who said, “That is sort of a relief.  That there is only one of my foster dad, I mean. I have met some of myself and it was not the best of experiences!”

She put her jaw in her metal hand and examined the whole situation carefully. Turning to me she asked, “Did you cast the portal, Grumpy?”

Scraping the grass where I was standing with one nonexistent forehoof and looking down, I muttered, “Afraid so.  Portals are not really my specialty.  I guess that I really messed this one up.”

Wind stepped over and lifted my glamor's head to look me in the eye.  “I am an expert with portals.  That one was really well done.  It would have worked perfectly if you had not cast it here.  The Everfree's Hidden Ways are what messed you up.

“Now, where were you trying to go?”

KD interjected, “We were aiming for the fairgrounds at Manehatten by the Sea.”

Wind nodded in a very take charge sort of way.  “I see.  That is about 6 or 7 hundred kilometers from here.”

Leaning casually up against the iron monster called T82, Wind asked, “Does this thing have personnel and cargo railings and how fast is it, uh, Dashie?”

Dashie brightened up as she replied, “It sure does have safety railings! I use them when I give Mia and Becky rides.  It can go as far as you want.  Out in the open, it can hit 100 kilometers an hour!  How did you know about that?”

Wind gave a delicate shudder, “I have adventured on a few worlds where similar machines were used.  I saw the passenger railings on some of them.”

Wind smiled ingratiatingly at Thomas.  “Would you be willing to let Dashie take us all on an Adventure to Manehatten by the Sea?  It will get these nice beings where they need to go and be fun for us all.  From there, I can easily send you both back home.”

Dashie had hopped out of the top of the T82 and began releasing catches and lifting up metal railings.  They clicked as they locked into place. When she was done, she lowered a set of steep metal stairs to climb up onto the back of her “educational toy.”

Thomas watched with a skeptical lift to his right eyebrow.  “I not say we go, Dashie.”

She looked him straight back in the eye as she retorted, in front of us all, “Right.  All that you have to do is tell our hosts that you won't do something simple and fun to help them.”

“That blackmail, Dashie!”

“Right. Between you and our De Writer, I learn from the best!”

He chuckled, “OK.  We do it.”

Wind swung easily up the boarding stair and called, “All aboard for the Manehatten Express!”

KD swarmed up, found the engine vents, and curled up with a “Dibs on the warm spot!”

Coalsmoke gently pushed me toward the enormous device with, “I would love to go too, Grumpy, but I have serious business to talk over with Victor. The Princesses want to set up a program for helping wounded veterans of their armies.”

Dashie started the T82 and made a big turn.  Wind guiding her, we set out for Adventure!  And Manehatten.

Technically, we took Doctor Mordenheim's path down to the Falmire cutoff and turned south towards the junction with Royal Road 315.  For some reason, the busy traffic of Ponyville's industrial district gave way before us, even when it had the right of way!  Couldn't imagine why! Surely it had nothing to do with fifty or more tonnes of steel monstrosity charging along at a “mere” twenty kilometers per hour.

We reached the Royal Road toll booth without incident.  Almost had an incident there.  The poor booth keepers were going nuts trying to sort out the proper toll.

Pages were fluttering back and forth in their toll manuals, “It ain't a cart or wagon from any section!  Darn thing is made out of iron like a fool locomotive on the railroad!”

“I know, Jeb!  Can't even classify it by team size or set up!  It runs itself!”

Wind was sitting on the edge of the turret, which Dashie had taught us was the name for that upper part with the long pipe sticking out of it, and giggling at the small uproar.  

“When Marchhare hears about this, he will split his harness, he will laugh so hard!”

One of the toll collectors looked up at her and got a beatific smile.  “You are Wind, from Marchhare's band of Rom, right?  I saw you at our fair a couple of times.”

She nodded acknowledgment, “Yes, Sir.  I am.”

He turned to his buddy and pushed the manuals shut.  “Just write Rom from Marchhare's band, toll free by Crowns Law.”

Jeb did write, though he was still trying to protest.  His superior shut him down with, “Jeb, like enough you are right.  Still, it solves OUR problem.”  He tripped the gate mechanism and the flimsy red and white painted wooden bar lifted up out of our way.

We pulled onto the Royal Road.  Besides less traffic, it was wider and better maintained than the Ponyville road we had come from.  Dashie began to open up the speed once we had clear road ahead of us.  I must say, I was impressed.  Dashie was not kidding about hitting a hundred kilometers an hour!

The T82 was fast and high enough that we had to duck shade tree branches!  A delighted KD had her sketchbook out and was rapidly drawing things from her high perspective!

Chortling, she explained, “Even as roughs, some of these will adapt to pictures for my book contract!  This is great!”

Wind steered us into one of the many waysides, making Dashie slow down and drive gently as we parked for the evening.  With assurance, she showed us where the free water and firewood were.

With a fond smile, Wind recalled, “I have camped here before, while traveling with Dad's band.  There is a small stream over in the bushes that we can get fresh fish and crawdads out of for a nice dinner.”

KD had out an easel and was busily drawing with colors.  She was doing the T82 framed by a sunset of riotous clouds and glowing light.  

She asked politely, “Wind, would you be so good as to pose there, just below the turret?  I want your metal arm just casually holding something and your sword out in your right hand, ready but not on a guard.”

Wind did pose.  It really did not take KD long at all to capture the feeling of the scene.  The way that Wind was posing, it looked for all the world like she OWNED the metal monster behind her!

Done posing, Wind stretched and began doing limbering up exercises.  With an expression of delight, and without even thinking about it, Wind began to dance and sing in a language strange to all of us.  I did recognize it from my times at the Ponyville fair, serving mainly as security for Caramel Treat's excellent food booth.  The language was Gyptian, the sort of private and held secret, nearly melodious tongue of the Rom.  I did recognize the dance.

She was treating us to the Shehan Ja Rom, their story of how the Rom came to be.  I gather that it is the oldest dance and song of the Rom.  As her dance and song finished, I remembered that the Rom did not clap for applause.  I leaned my head back and gave the loud trill that the Rom use.

Wind looked sort of startled as the others followed suit.  Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Sorry.  It was just the joy of being on the road again.”

It was KD who said it, “Don't be sorry.  It was lovely.  Is there an Equestrian translation?”

I put in, “I know that there is.  That was the famous Shehan Ja Rom.  The Rom traditionally dance and sing it in an Equestrian version to open fairs.  What I am curious about is how Wind, who is nothing like any horse or pony, came to be a Rom and of Marchhare's band at that.”

Wind sat near the fire and absently began to assemble vegetable skewers for Dashie, Thomas and I.  “I made a little mistake while adventuring. I survived it, obviously.  Mama Dragon fixed me up and sent me here, to this Equestria to finish healing and recuperate.  De Writer met me and steered me to Marchhare's band.

“Good thing, too.  One of my wounds developed a small inflammation that could have killed me.  Black Lotus, Marchhare and Hoof Dancer, his wife at the time, healed me.  Mama Dragon was wise in sending me to them for a month.  I had more than physical wounds to heal.  I joined them and learned to read, write and speak Gyptian.  Having a real caring and extended family provided the rest of the healing that I needed.  Now, I have my Freedom and I can come and go as I wish, but my Rom family is always there for me.”

I could tell that there was a lot left out but Wind cut her tale off without harming her tail by asking, “Grumpy, will you tend these skewers for me while I go catch some fish, crawdads and a bunny or two for dinner to share with KD?”

I realized at once that besides being an adventurer, Wind was quite diplomatic. She had just reminded the lot of us that KD had not eaten all day, except for snacks, and that both she and Wind were carnivores. Possibly hungry carnivores.

Dashie took off too, calling, “Wind!  Wait up!  I want see how you hunt and fish without fancy gear.”

Wind looked back, nodded and then beckoned with a finger curl.  As soon as Dashie was up to her, Wind slid into the brush without a sound.  Dashie, trying to follow was pretty quiet.

Coming to the creek bank, Wind laid flat and wriggled forward on her stomach. Carefully parting the small thin wands of the bank willows, she slid her right arm into the water, reaching back, under the cut bank.  Her face screwed up with concentration, she eased her hand up, feeling for a fish.  Smiling, she slid her hand further up and grabbed!

Rolling back and lifting, Wind flipped the good sized trout out onto the bank!  She caught the flopping creature and bent its head back to break its neck.  She snipped off a thin bank willow strand with her knife and laced it through the fish's gills and out the mouth. Loosely knotting the ends, she hung the fish up and repeated the trick three more times!

Dashie was watching with awe.  “I never even hear of fishing that way!  How you do it?”

Wind picked up her willow loop with fish and replied, “It takes practice to tickle trout but it is not really hard.  You need to be careful and gentle.  When you feel the fish with your fingers, you need to work your way up until you feel the pectoral fins, those just behind the gills.  Snap your fingers into the gills and lift it out quickly.

“Now for a nice brace of bunnies and dinner will ready to cook.”

Dashie, keeping her voice down, asked, “I see warren right over there.  How you catch them?  Some kind of trap?”

Wind, following Dashie's pointing hoof, shook her head.  “I could, and if we were going to be here longer, I would set some snares.  Since it is only dinner and breakfast, I will just pounce them.  It is easier and quicker.”

Dashie watched Wind ghost her way through the brush toward the warren. Choosing her place, she waited, a bunched spring of living huntress. Nothing moved except for the tip of her tail twitching slightly.  It was only a few minutes before a bunny hopped lazily toward one of the main holes of the warren.  Wind's pounce included a fast chop with her metal hand!  The bunny only twitched once before going still.

Wind quietly picked a different spot and soon had a second bunny!

Bearing her prey, Wind and Dashie returned to camp.  On their way, Wind asked, “Why did you want to see how I got fish and bunnies?  Most ponies really don't want to see that.”

Face flaming a little with embarrassment, Dashie replied, “I am sort of, like half dragon.  I turn into one if I need to or want to.  Thing is, I not very good at getting meat to eat!  I have to turn back to a pony and graze up dinner!  There are times that really inconvenient!”

Wind chuckled.  “I can see that!  We have one more stop before Manehatten by the Sea.  I will take you out hunting there too, OK?”

Back at camp, Wind considerately went to the other side of the T82 to clean and prepare her catch.  A lightly drooling KD went to help!  They both returned to the camp, licking their lips and smiling.  They were finishing up with some of KD's endless supply of Gator Chow.  Wind had carefully cleaned off the gem topping from hers and used it to enhance KD's snack.

As we were settling about the fire, Dashie asked, “Um, Wind, did Rom hold you prisoner some way?  You say you have your freedom.”

Wind chuckled at the misunderstanding.  “No, Dashie.  The Rom Freedom is a thing that they wear.  Here, I have mine in my bag.”

She reached into her bag at her waist and her arm seemed to go in further than was possible.  She saw us staring and snorted her amusement.  “It is called a bag of holding.  It is sort of like Marchhare's caravan. It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.  Here it it is!”

Stopping her rummaging, she pulled out a sort of headstall thing of richly tooled and dyed leather with rings and buckles that looked to be gold.  She strapped it on.

“This is a Freedom of the Rom.  They grant them only to beings that they have fully accepted as one of their own.”

“Why is call a Freedom?” Dashie wondered.

Wind lifted her chin with pride.  “The original cast off slaves that were the first Rom wore a headstall with a bit and lead ring.  They had them all their lives and were not comfortable without something on their heads.  They re made them into the Freedom by taking away anything by which they could be made to serve another.  No bit or lead ring has ruled any Rom from that day to this.”  Very carefully, Wind removed her Freedom and put it away.

KD had curled into an amazingly hard to see coil of dragon to sleep until dawn.  The rest of us were spreading blankets to sleep under the stars.

A wagon full of road repair tools and an accompanying work gang of ponies pulled into the rest area.  A couple of them strode arrogantly to our camp and demanded, “We are hungry!  What ever food you got, hoof it over now!  You don't, we gonna take sledgehammers to that there tin thingy!”

I gently prodded the almost sleeping dragon in our midst.  KD had been paying attention!  Her head rose up, eyes alight.  A curl of flame showing at each nostril and outlining her barely opened jaws completed the picture!

She serenely asked, “What?  More dinner?  I'm not sure that I could hold another whole pony.  Mind if we just sort of pack along the leftovers for lunch?”

Dashie had lifted a fully draconic head.  In the late evening's light we could not make out her color but we could easily make out the totally paling ponies!

“What! They got TWO DRAGONS!”

Dashie corrected, “No.  Two HUNGRY dragons!”

Dashie was giggling at the frantic retreat of the two jerks!  Got to admit to some chuckles of my own.  KD's sides were heaving as she re coiled herself.

Dashie got up onto all fours.  In the dying firelight, she could be seen to be a light blue color.  She flexed her wings a couple of times and strolled over to where the road crew ponies were carelessly re packing to leave.  In terror but not so terrified that they were willing to have to pay for abandoned gear!

One thoughtlessly yelled, “Road camp privacy!  Stay away, that is kingdom law!”

Wind, who was almost unnoticed at Dashie's right front leg, calmly pointed out, “You have just admitted that you knew that you were breaking kingdom law when you tried to hijack our dinner.  In your haste to correct your error, you dropped your sledgehammers.  Here!”

Wind revealed a hidden strength by casually giving the heavy hammers an underhand toss.  Both hammers overshot the wagon and hit the turf on the other side of it.

That got the attention of the road crew ponies!  One noticed, “How come you only got one arm?”

Smiling angelically, which showed off her fangs nicely, Wind reached up with her metal left arm and scritched at the base of Dashie's left dragon horn as she replied, “What, this?” Campfire light glinting from her metal arm, she said casually, “Kitten here, and I got to roughhousing last week!  She was a little too enthusiastic, that's all.”

Dashie, catching on to the game, bent her head around and gave Wind a lick at the shoulder and said contritely, “I said that I was sorry!  We just need to find a Phoenix potion so that you can regrow it. Again.”

They strolled back to our camp, Wind taking the time to re hang her cloak to sort of hide her metal arm.  Thomas, Dashie, now turned back to a pegasus, and I nibbled up Wind's excellent fruit and vegetable skewers.

Wind toasted the last of the bunnies and trout over KD's flame and shared that extra bit dinner with her.  Dashie “sneaked” over and turned back to a dragon to beg a few bites.  Grinning, they let her have some.

Sleeping out in the open, I did not have my usual nightmares of a Celestian Church mob burning my home, studies, and, failing to trap me in the house, attempting to stone me to death.  Perhaps my feelings of safety came of sleeping beside a big blue dragon?  One that liked me? Very likely.

It could not last.  For one thing, dawn comes far too soon for a cave dwelling goat like me.  The other was a light blue bundle of enthusiasm with rainbow mane and tail!  Dashie was bounding into camp!  She was waiving a forked stick with three big fat trout on it!  It was laced through their gills and out their mouths, with the forked branch acting as a stop to keep them from sliding off.

“I did it, Wind!  I tickle trout just like you show me how!”

Wind looked up from laying the morning cook fire.  Her grin showed her usually hidden fangs as she replied, “Just like I showed you?   Not sure how to point this out diplomatically but you don't have any fingers to do it with.”

Totally disingenuous, Dashie replied, “I just use my magic like you show with hand.  It not hard.  Real trick was find where fish hide.  You show me that.  They too quick to catch if just grab.  Gentle tickle is trick.”

Both KD and I were listening with rapt attention.  It was clear that Thomas and Dashie's Equestria was very different from this one.  As they talked, that became more and more apparent.

“Does your magic come from being a weredragon?”

“Only a little.  Most I learn from Dad.  He one of two most powerful beings in our Equestria.  Be honest, I think De Writer worst.  Super strong magic and wicked sense of humor.  And bored.  He three thousand years old.  Raise Princesses.”

“I see. Do other pegassi use magic where you come from?”

“Not really.  Dad figure out that there more magic in world than Earth, Pegassi, and Unicorn.  It come from his mom, Aurora, the Demon Queen.”

We all looked askance at the innocent appearing brown pegasus.  This was getting more and more interesting all the time.

Wind just nodded, took the fish and efficiently set about preparing them.  She also pulled some fresh looking apples and peaches out of the bag at her waist.  She expertly split them into proper chunks and dropped them into a pot.  She added a little fresh water and, reaching into her bag of holding, pulled out a box with many drawers and bottles, a jar with a sealed top and a small flour bag.

I was sort of amazed, watching the sheer skill with which Wind organized breakfast.  She even had water on heating in a biggish pot.  She added some from the sealed bottle.  The camp filled with the heavenly aroma of Rom black tea!

Satisfied with the progress of the fruits in the pot, she added sugar, cinnamon from one of the drawers of the box and stirred in the flour to thicken it.

It smelled heavenly, not like regular flour at all.  Wind closed the bag and returned box, bag and jar to her bag of holding.  She saw my calculating look as I watched it all happening.  

Wrinkling her nose in amusement, she explained, “Ka'chek flour.  A Rom without it?  Unheard of!”

Breakfast lived up to the lovely scents, and then some.

Wind, KD and Dashie went to the other side of the T82 to fix and eat the trout.  Coming back, Dashie and KD were finishing up gem topped Gator Chows and Wind was nibbling at one with the topping removed.

While they were eating, the rest of us cleaned up all the cookware and put out the fire.  We especially cleaned out the fruit stew pot!  Nearly came to blows over who got to lick it out!  Good sense prevailed and we took turns licking parts of it.  Then, we washed it.  We did have one thing unwashed.

We saved Wind the last mug of Rom black tea.  Smiling at our courtesy, Wind drained it and saw to proper washing of the mug.  She then caused us all a small croggle of the mind by causally putting all of the clean cookware and dishes into her bag of holding!

We all piled onto the remote controlled T82 and Dashie got us on the road again!

I noticed that Wind was wearing her Freedom and had put on a harness. It was as richly tooled and dyed as her freedom.  They were clearly a matched set.

While KD was busy with her art, making fast sketches of the lands that we were passing through, I made bold to ask, “Why the Rom outfit?  This is not exactly a caravan.”

Wind giggled at some joke that I did not understand as she replied, “Actually, it is.  You just have to understand what caravan means. It is a loan word from the desert Kingdoms that was already in use by the time that the first Rom came here.  In their language of Gyptian, it means something slightly different from how it is used in Equestrian.

“It is just that there is a road section toll gate coming up in a little. Me being dressed this way should get us through the gate for free.”

Nodding acceptance for her reason, I turned my attention to Thomas, who was trying hard to act like an adult pegasus, rather than a colt having the time of his life.

I guessed, “You have not ridden on Dashie's T82 before, have you Thomas?”

With a twinkle in his eye, he admitted, “Never before this.  I think that she get to play with it more but need daddy supervision!”

I was chuckling at that when we all felt the iron monster slowing down. Wind, pointing ahead, made clear exactly why.  There was the toll booth with its light weight red and white bar across the road.  There was a substantial cabin in back of it for use of the toll collectors when off duty and out here, kilometers from any town.  A sign said, WELCOME TO THE MANEHATTEN ROYAL ROAD SECTION.

Wind hopped off the top of the huge left tread guard of the T82 and greeted the toll takers, “Hi!  What do you think of my new act? Just doing a shake down run to IRON out any problems!  We are promised entertainment for the big art show.”

The utterly bemused light yellow toll collector turned to his lavender buddy and shook his head.  Pushing the toll manual shut he said, “Rom.  No accounting for 'em.  Just write Rom, toll free by Crowns Law.”

He tripped the mechanism and the toll gate rose up out of our way.  

As the mechanical behemoth passed through the gate, Wind trotted after and swung up the steel boarding stair and resumed her place on top of the turret, next to Dashie.

We had passed two of the Waysides when Wind guided Dashie into one that seemed empty.  It was nowhere near noon, yet.

“Thanks, Dashie!  There is a friend here that I want to talk to.  It would have been rude to just go by and not say Hi.”

With that, she bounced off the turret, grabbed what we had learned was called the Main Gun, and swung, letting go and landing lightly.  She sprinted over to the edge of the woods.

Sitting suddenly, she quietly reached out and laid a sparkling pebble among many others in that spot.  She said, “Hannara Na Kili.”  We could not make out the rest.  It was all in Gyptian.  It contained pauses as if she was listening to what another was saying.  The conversation was soon over.

Wind got up, smiling serenely, and returned to us.  Dashie had turned to a dragon so that she and KD could share a couple of KD's gator chows.

Wind suggested, “We could get going, now.  The Loved Dead are always with us.  Hannara and I had a nice chat.”

It was slowly percolating through the brain that I don't really have, just how different Rom are.  And I have known them, shared food with them and talked with them for years.  They have even been guests in my cave.  I have heard that expression, the Loved Dead are always with us hundreds of times.  I have heard about Laying the Stones goodness only knows how many times.  This was the first time that I had seen it.

Seeing how Wind treated it, both casually and with absolute assurance, as if the horse in that grave that the Rom call a Gateway to the Lake of Paradise, or Lake for short, was really there, made it hit me like a gut punch.

I knew, like everybeing in Equestria that the ONE THING THAT YOU DO NOT DO is desecrate any Wayside burial.  Ponies who die more than two days travel from their homes are entitled to a Wayside burial.  It is a Royal Benefice.  The graves are marked and tended as part of Wayside maintenance.

All Rom get a Wayside burial, that they call a Lake or going to the Lake. They lay small, inexpensive, but pretty pebbles on them to mark them.

Desecration of a Rom Lake will bring the Princesses in person to investigate. The criminals WILL get caught.  Penalties are HARSH.  They range from twenty years at hard labor on the Royal Roads up to life.  The worst offenders, who have actually exhumed Rom remains get a punishment worse than simple death.  

They get life in the Twins Mine, digging mercury ore.  The fumes destroy the mind and wrack the body.  After the first few such grave robberies, centuries ago, no pony in their right mind will risk that.

Wind looked so quietly happy that I had to wonder whether there was any truth to the Rom belief in the Lake of Paradise.

Dashie finished her snack and changed back to a pegasus.  We all piled back onto the T82 educational toy and hit the road again.  It was not long before we came to a bridge across a stream.

It was a nice, well built and solid bridge.  It was clear that it was not made to take the sheer mass of the T82.

[mypetshopworld]

Cat friendly plants that will not poison your cat and 15 of the deadliest Plants that can kill your cat?

Not all plants are cat-friendly. 15 plants you should avoid when you have a cat. 

Nothing is more beautiful and inspiring like a bunch of flowers or potted plants that give the last touch to your home. Flowers add a beautiful and welcoming touch to every home. Unfortunately for different reasons when you have cats you need to consider the plants you buy and have to choose them carefully as some of the plants can be toxic for your cats. Cats love to nibble on plants, it helps them to digest the food and get rid of hairballs. We all know that cats are carnivorous but they love to munch on greenery around the house and garden. There is quite a long list of deadly plants what can harm your cat.

Cats love plants, and sometimes they rub themselves on the plants or sit in the flowerpot. The danger starts when they start nibbling the plants as this can end deadly. Individual plants and flowers are toxic beyond any means and can put cats straight into shock, and that can cause heart failure or kidney failure. We go through some subjects like 15 toxic plants for your cat What should you watch out for and what are the symptoms Symptoms that affect the organs directly What to do when you suspect your cat been poisoned What Plants are Cat-Friendly and will not harm your cat Preventive measures 1.Lilies a favourite plant and flower but highly toxic for your cat Lilies can cause kidney failure in your cat. I know the yellow dust from the flower stamps get everywhere and I know my cats ... they are everywhere so I don't want them to be yellow or brown and I do not want them to poison with the lilies.

(  Lilium species ) 

Tiger Lilies Day-Lilies Stargazer Lilies Easter Lilies Wood Lilies Japanese Lilies Rubrum Lilies I love lilies but with my cats, I do not buy them anymore.  There are other beautiful smelling plants or flowers that you can use around cats and they do the same job in making your home look welcoming or beautiful.  2. The beautiful Daffodils another poison plant for your cat,  Daffodils make cats vomit and cause an upset stomach. Cats usually only show symptoms if a larger portion of bulbs, foliage or pods are ingested. It will lead to poisoning, and it will show with signs of dehydration, vomiting, electrolyte imbalance, diarrhoea, and discomfort in the abdominal area. Make sure when your cat shows the symptoms you get to a veterinarian so he can check how dangerous it is. 3.All kind of Aloe vera. ( Agave Americana, Barbados or Curacao aloe) What is good for us humans must not be suitable for cats. The whole family of Aloe Vera can cause a toxic reaction to cats. Those plants also have thorns and cats and dogs can easily be insured by the thorns. Especially the longer ones. 4. Oleander is a deadly plant for your cat even it looks so beautiful. 

I love Oleander, it is such a beautiful plant for the sake of my cats I gave up Oleander. Unfortunately, Oleander contains cardiac glycoside toxins that affect your cat's heart. Every single part of that shrub plant is highly toxic for your cat and dog. 5. Castor Bean is a deadly plant for your cat.  The seeds and leaves contain a highly toxic glycoprotein with the name ricin. Only a small amount of the seeds or beans ingested by your cat but also for dogs can end deadly. 6. Are daisies poisonous for your cat? Daisies are also from the chrysanthemum family and yes they are toxic to your cat. It starts with vomiting, diarrhoea, skin irritation, hypersalivation and loss in coordination. Act fast when your cat shows signs look for a vet, the symptoms are similar to tick poisoning both should not be taken lightly and it is advised that you visit as quickly as possible your veterinarian.  According to the ASPCA, the Gerbera jamesonii also called Gerber daisy is on the other hand non - toxic for cats and considered a safe plant. It is a bit confusing and to make sure that you do not mix it up to keep them both as far as possible from your cat.

With Petplus you can buy the medicine up to 50% cheaper than over the counter. FREE 24/7 PET HELP Unlimited access to Veterinary telehealth specialists 24/7 via email, chat or phone. Our members can easily save between $300 and $800/year on unnecessary vet visits. Normally a $130/year value. Free with PetPlus. Click here to access Pet Plus  7. Rhododendrons and Azaleas are poisoning to your cat  When indigested by your cat both Rhododendrons and Azaleas contain grayanotoxins. Those toxins are in all parts like the pollen and the nectar. The average calculation is 1g/per kg of body weight. (especially dangerous for kittens) These toxins called grayanotoxins affect the skeletal muscles, cardiac muscles, and nerve function in pets. It affects the heart and can cause an irregular heartbeat, it causes weeping, vomiting, salivation, weakness, convulsions, coma and death. Azaleas are also often given as a gift. Consider if you have a friend who has a pet not to give azaleas. As beautiful as they are kept in mind that they are highly toxic for your furry friends. Those plants are the more poisonous ones and you should bring your cat in case of poisoning straight to a veterinarian. 8. Hyacinths are less poisonous to your cat.

You ask why it is simple the bulbs of your hyacinths are under the earth and if you store them to make sure you keep them safe and secure from your cat.  The bulbs are toxic to your cat. I have seen cats playing with the bulbs but never eating them or nibble on them. In any case, keep them away as they are toxic and can cause in rare cases death. 9.Tulips a high toxins plant that is poison for your cat. The toxins of tulips are concentrated in the bulb. Severe symptoms of poisoning include an increase in heart rate, and difficulty breathing. Symptoms according to ASPCA:  Vomiting, depression, diarrhoea, hypersalivation. 10. Begonias beautiful plants but toxic for your cat. According to the ASPCA has listed all species of begonias being toxic to cats and dogs. If a cat digests the begonia it can cause oral irritation, hypersalivation, difficulty swallowing and vomiting. Difficulty in swallowing can result in joking. Be aware when your cat shows sign. The more toxic part of the plants are the begonia tubers.

11. Umbrella Tree also is known as Schefflera actinophylla a mildly toxic plant for your cat. 

Your cat has to eat a lot of the Umbrella tree to be toxic. The small or big amount each cat is different and it can cause toxic poisoning to your cat. The symptoms will be mild like diarrhoea and vomiting. It should not be matter mild or strong poisoning it causes pain and suffering for your cat and I am sure you do not want your cat to suffer.

12. Spider plants again a less toxic thread to your cat.

Spider plants do attract like the light the mot. The long-reaching leaves playing with the wind make a tempting play for your cat. Especially for cats who are bored or if there is only one cat in a household. Cats can easily reach them as they are mainly hung in baskets. Symptoms for ingesting the spider plants are vomiting, retching, salivation and anorexia. Even those plants are less toxic resist the temptation to buy them and put them into your household. Cats are different some cats play easy with anything and are tempted to play and nibble on this plant. Some cats are stronger and some are weaker. Don't take any chances.

13. Australian Ivy Palm another deadly plant for your cat 

In south-east Asia, you find a lot of this plant. Nearly every street corner has at least one of those palms. These palms have toxic substances like Terpenoids,  saponins, and insoluble oxalates. Symptoms;  Oral irritation, pain and swelling of mouth, tongue and lips, excessive drooling, vomiting, difficulty swallowing.  If you see your cat have difficulties swallowing or swelling in the mouth area, tongue and lips then you have to bring your cat immediately to an emergency animal hospital. Swelling of the mouth, tongue and lip can cause suffocation to your cat.

FREE 24/7 PET HELP Unlimited access to Veterinary telehealth specialists 24/7 via email, chat or phone. Our members can easily save between $300 and $800/year on unnecessary vet visits. Normally a $130/year value. Free with PetPlus. Click here to access Pet Plus 

14. A deadly plant called  Dieffenbachia or also known as Dumb Cane.

Dieffenbachia is a beautiful plant and easy to grow. When it is healthy it is a lush green plant. The dieffenbachia contains toxic insoluble calcium oxalates and proteolytic enzymes. The Dieffenbachia also is known as the Dumb Cane has made its name due it has a numbing effect when the leaves are orally consumed. When consumed or chewed on by your cat it causes an oral irritation like the intense burning of the mouth what results into numbing effect to the mouth and then swallows to the throat. Excessive drooling and vomiting. It can cause life-threating moments when the throat of your cat swells up and your cat cannot breathe anymore. The dieffenbachia is one of the more dangerous houseplants to keep around if you have pets. 15. The famous Mistletoe for humans but can kill your cat. It is a deadly plant ...

Also called the American Mistletoe. A kiss under the mistletoe with your loved one beautiful memory. Keep in mind to hang it high enough and unreachable for your cat if you need to have a mistletoe. American Mistletoe contains toxic substances like Toxalbumin, Pharatoxin Viscumin (Lectins, Phoratoxins). What can cause vomiting, diarrhoea, low blood pressure (rare), difficulty breathing, low heart rate? A low heart rate needs to be treated immediately from a veterinarian. If your cat tries to reach your mistletoe and got hold of it and on top, she is chewing on it bring her straight to the vet. Your cat could go into shock and death within a few hours. Here is a list of the most common toxic plants for cats. Those plants are the most commonly encountered plants around. You can find them easily in any flower shop or Plant nursery.  When cats become bored they do all thoughts of things, the best solution is keeping your cat busy...

Most common plants that are poison and can kill your cat.

Amaryllis (Amaryllis sp.) Azaleas and Rhododendrons (Rhododendron sp.) Desert Azaleas (Adenium obesum) Autumn Crocus (Colchicum autumnale) Baby's Breath Boxwood Castor Bean (Ricinus communis) Chrysanthemum (Chrysanthemum sp.) Cyclamen (Cyclamen sp.) Dieffenbachia English Ivy (Hedera helix) Poison Ivy Kalanchoe (Kalanchoe sp.) Lantana (Lantana Camara) Lilies (Lilium sp.) Lavender ( Lavendula Angustifolia) Mint Marijuana (Cannabis sativa) Mock Azalea (Adenium obesum) Mistletoe ( American Mistletoe)  Oleander (Nerium oleander) Peace Lily (Spathiphyllum sp.) Pink Pearl Pothos (Epipremnum aureum) Sago Palm (Cycas revoluta) Silver Dollars Spanish thyme (Coleus amphibious) Tulip and Narcissus bulbs (Tulipa and Narcissus sp.) Yew (Taxus sp.) I know when I saw the first time the list and it is a big list, I thought I can not have any plants. Wrong there are so many plants what do not poison or at least not deadly. If you keep cat grass or cat bamboo around your cat will leave the other plants alone.

What should you watch out for, and what are the symptoms for your cat?

Difficulty in breathing Gastric irritation Coughing and sneezing Vomiting and/or diarrhoea Bluetongue and gums Panting ( heavy breathing ) Dilated pupils Frequent urination Shivering Salivation Seizures, tremors or involuntary muscle twitching Weakness and potentially unconsciousness Depression Dark urine

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Symptoms that affect directly the organs

#Many Plants are irritants and they affect often the gastrointestinal tract. ( cats chew on the plants for many reasons) Symptoms like irritation or inflammation, like swelling, redness or itchiness of the mouth and skin. #In case the toxic principle affects an organ the symptoms seen will be to that organ #If the airways and throat are affected than the symptoms are heavy or difficult breathing. ( some cats try to open their mouth to get more air) #If the mouth, throat, or Esophagus is affected than the symptoms are difficulty in swallowing and drooling. Heavy Breathing is also a sign. #When the stomach and intestines are affected than the symptoms are vomiting and diarrhoea #If the intestine and colon is affected than the symptoms are diarrhoea #When the kidneys are affected the symptoms are dehydration, excessive drinking and urinating. #In case the heart has been affected the symptoms are a slow irregular heartbeat and  low heart rate, Please note according to Veterinarian Melisa Nelson DVM (Doctor of Veterinary medicine )  Early symptoms are nausea/vomiting, stumbling and head tremors and increase urination and drinking (among other signs) later symptoms include: seizures, vomiting, producing little urine and painful kidneys. Source https://www.wikihow.com/Treat-a-Poisoned-Cat What can you do when you suspect your cat is poisoned from the plants

When you are lucky enough to see your cat eating a plant and you are not sure it is poison or not, then you should watch your cat for the next couple of hours to see if she shows any symptoms. First of all, if your cat shows symptoms and you suspect your cat has been poisoned from eating a plant or any other substances than please call immediately your daytime vet or if it is out of hours your nearest pet emergency service. Depends on the poison you need to act fast and should not take any chances. Do not offer your cat water or anything else to make her vomit as this might inadvertently move the poison into the body quicker. Only if instructed by the vet or emergency hotline. Otherwise, you might do more harm than good. If you know what your cat consumed than put it into a container and take it together with your cat to the vet. If your cat has already vomit than take the vomit ( scoop it up ) I know yikes but scoop it up and bring it in a container to your vet. Be aware that your cat when she is sick she might want to hide somewhere, and when you try to pick her up she might scratch and bite you it is a normal reaction, so don't get upset. Be aware.

What Plants are Cat-Friendly and will not harm your cat

Don't worry Nature created also plants for cats that are not poison or deadly. When you look around there are plenty of Plants that are Pet-friendly and they will also suit your home and make your home look welcome.  Here are just a few

The following plants are non-toxic to both cats and dogs:

Blue Echeveria Baby’s Tears Bamboo ( there is a special potplant specially grown for a cat called cat bamboo) Areca or Golden Palm Boston Fern Hens and Chickens Spice Orchid California Pitcher plant Catnip Mistletoe Cactus Christmas Cactus Pearl Plant Celosia Violets Camellia Orchids Lemon balm Rose Lady slipper Sulfur Flower, The full list of toxic plants and non-toxic plants you can download here from the ASPCA Preventive Measures There are plants out in nature what can be fatal for your cat. The same goes for indoors. Be aware when you have a cat that there are deadly plants or flowers even in a bunch that exists. Inviting those deadly plants or poison plants into your home means you invite yourself the trouble. Cats are everywhere and they are nosy they love plants and rub against them or sit in the flowerpot. In some cases, they chew on them. To avoid surprises and accidents happen in your home remove those deadly plants or poisonous plants and replace them with cat-friendly plants. To keep your cat safe create a cat-friendly environment. ( indoor cats) For outdoor and indoor cats be aware and if your cats show signs of poisoning act fast as every minute counts. Here you find the link by ASPCA for all the toxic and non-toxic plants Do you have experience with cat poisoning if so share your experience or if you have any question please feel free to ask. A special thank you to our vet Dr Julian Walter for answering all my questions and helping me with my research.

Please note that this is only advice and if your pet is poisoned please seek emergency care immediately.  You should never put the life of your pet at risk, pets are family.    All yours Melanie Other blogs to read How to Be a Responsible Cat Owner  Turn your passion into a Business ( get a free website including training)  Why my cat is losing hair  Essential Oils for cats and dogs  Petshop world Disclaimer: This website is not intended to replace professional consultation, diagnosis, or treatment by a licensed veterinarian. If you require any veterinary-related advice, contact your veterinarian promptly. Information at mypetshopworld.com  is exclusive of a general reference nature. Do not disregard veterinary advice or delay treatment as a result of accessing information at this site. Read the full article

[silencedlittlebirdy]

Conquering a World

So, I had this idea after reading a humans are weird post, it’s going to take a couple parts to finish, but here goes nothing. Ava is actually one of my best friends and we keep talking about being roommates someday. Gigi is based on my dog. Sara is based on hers. Let’s see how poorly I can portray myself and her.

A ship from the Pqncallaxis Dominion arrived on a Tuesday, at four in the morning, in the field behind my house, waking myself, my roommate, and our two dogs, three cats, twelve chickens, plus one angry rooster. I scrambled out of bed, going for the rifle. My roommate, Ava, had a handgun that she was licensed to use, but sometimes a rifle was a little more convincing for aliens than the small size of the gun she carried. You never really knew with aliens. “The residents of this domain will exit the domain and consult with us.” I loaded the rifle, “Consult with them. Tch.” “Fay?” “Just getting the rifle. What do you think? Should we release the hounds?” I asked Ava, listening for a moment as the dogs kept barking. “Right, because Gigi’s such a terror.” “I know. She’ll be in hiding the moment we come down with our guns. Sara though…” “She’d probably lick them to death.” “I’m pretty sure dog saliva is deadly to some aliens. I swear, if they crushed my apple trees…” “Really? You’re worried about trees?” “I like apples! You do too. They might have destroyed your pear trees, you know.” She wrinkled her nose, “Or the chickens.” We went down side by side and peered around the corner so we could see out the back doors through the curtains the dogs had managed to push aside. “What kind of aliens are those?” I asked in a whisper. She shrugged, “I’m a secretary, not an alien expert. You’re the one who follows the updates more.” “Because my brother is excited about it. But I don’t study them like I study plants.” I shook my head, “Maybe we should call someone.” “Like who?” “The police?” “And tell them what? Aliens have landed in our backyard and want to consult with us? We don’t even know what that means.” The realization that we were both too chicken to go out just yet is what made me decide to do that. Someone had to do something. “Alright, I’m going to go out. You have to get to the kitchen and grab the sprayer with the mint oil in it. Mint is corrosive to ninety percent of the alien species that have come into contact with earth.” At least…I was mostly sure. Pretty certain. There was a good chance. “Are you sure?” “No, but…it’s that or they do something bad. Confidence. I’ll put on an air of confidence.” I hugged her quickly, just in case, “If they kill me, call the police and get into the basement. Then tell my family…well…you know.” She was looking at me like I was insane, “You’re insane.” See, thought so. “Finally, someone uses the right word.” I muttered, then put the butt of the rifle into the crook of my shoulder like my dad had taught me and ordered the dogs, “Get.” Ava got to the door, “Wait, I’ll go out with you.” “And if they aren’t here peacefully?” “Then we’ll die together?” Neither of us wanted the other to die, but we also didn’t want to die ourselves. “Why couldn’t they have gone somewhere else?” I muttered, “Open the door.” She hesitated, then did as I told her. I stepped out, making sure the dogs couldn’t get past me, “What do you want?” “To consult with the residents of this domain.” “Again I ask, what do you want?” I squinted, even though I was wearing my glasses, “And could you kill the lights? They’re a little much for four in the morning.” “Apologies.” All of their lights turned off, so the only light was my porch light. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, then reopened them, trying to help my eyes adjust more quickly, “Right? What is this about consulting the residents?” Ava came out with her hand gun out and the spray bottle in her robe pocket. The alien, a weird thing that looked like a mix between a praying mantis and a Jaaarskil, stepped just barely into the light, limping as he kept the rooster away with one leg. “We wish to hire the expertise of a select few humans to help us with settling our latest acquisition.” “No thanks.” Ava said, “Try someone else.” A green light came from the device the alien was holding, “You are the perfect specimens for us. Return to your residence.” It made a disgusting clicking and chomping sound, like someone chewing with their mouth full and some rocks, then hurried back toward the ship, trying to get away from our rooster. I arched an eyebrow, “What the frak just happened?” Ava shook her head, “No clue. Do we go back inside?” “Well, we definitely have to report it to the alien incidence association. No way are they using me as part of their settlement projects.” I glared at the ship. The same green light came out of it, bathing out house, our property, and some of the fields around us in it. “Um…” Ava pulled me inside, “The basement.” I nodded and rushed down there, calling the dogs and cats. It was like an earthquake as we huddled in the spot we normally did for tornadoes. Then it stopped. I slowly uncurled, hoping my hands would stop shaking, and pushed myself to my feet. “I’m afraid of what we’ll find up there.” Ava handed me the rifle again, “Let’s check everything over, then we can go back to bed.” I nodded and we crept up the stairs. I didn’t want to spend too much time in our basement anyway. I swear it was haunted. Ava froze when she got to the top of the stairs. “The embassy better throw a fit.” “What? Why? What did they do?” I climbed up behind her and peeked in the direction she was looking. Through the glass in the front door we could see the inside of an alien ship. I turned around and went back downstairs, “I’m going to sleep with the ghosts.” Even being more superstitious than me, Ava followed and we crashed on the pullout bed couch. Both staring at the ceiling. “I thought we were past abductions.” I murmured, petting Sara’s head. She was stressed. So was Gigi. And the cats. Which was evidenced by the fact that they were getting along with the dogs. “We’ve been abducted.” Ava said, shaking her head. “This feels like a weird dream.” The house shook again, and we grabbed onto the bed. “Now what?!” I yelled, suddenly fed up. I got up the moment the shaking stopped and marched up the stairs, out the front door… Our front yard of green grass blended into purple grass, then back to green a ways away as it met someone else’s house. I could see where that person’s yard stopped and the flora of this planet started, because the grass ended and the tree trunks of this planet were in various shades of blue, with leaves of various shades of purple as well. “We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.” I whispered to myself, looking up to where the sun shone. “Yellow sun. Okay. Initial assessment is—if they transported our yard and everything that was in our yard—that the plants and animals should be able to survive. I think. Maybe. The air is breathable, always a plus, so that should be fine. Plants make food from light and they have light. We have chicken feed to last us a while, at least while we let one of the chickens experiment with the bugs.” “Fay? Why are you whispering?” Ava came out behind me. “This.” I waved a hand to everything in front of me. She stared, speechless. “RESIDENTS OF THE CHOSEN DOMAINS! YOU WILL ASSIST IN SETTLING THIS WORLD! MAIL WILL BE COLLECTED AND DROPPED OFF ON TUESDAYS! GOOD DAY AND MAY THE GODS OF THE  PQNXALLAXIS DOMAIN SMILE UPON YOU!” I groaned, “Can I use that swear word now?” Ava slowly shook her head. “Why the heck did they choose us?” I let out a yell of frustration. “You know what? Fine. Just, fine! I’m going to see if anybody is home.” Ava kept up but didn’t say anything. I rang the doorbell of the other house, then looked back at my house. Ava nudged me and pointed to the one side. There was another house just barely visible through the trees. I pounded on the door, “Hello?!” Finally it was being unlocked. “Is it over?” was the guy’s first question. “The transport to another planet? You could say that.” Ava found her voice again. Knew it wouldn’t stay gone for long. He looked past us, then shook his head, “These aliens are getting crazier by the month. Don’t they realize the hell that they’re bringing to themselves?” “Honestly, I don’t think they do. Considering they put us here, I’d say they’re worried about poisonous food or weather or creatures.” I chewed the inside of my cheek, “I’ll have to start studying the plants right away. See if I can figure out some sort of lab to do tests in. Find my gardening gloves and start collecting samples.” Ava glanced back to our house, “Start with the gazebo.” I nodded, “In the meantime, we should see how the other people are faring.” “Other people?” The guy asked. Ava pointed to the left. He looked over, then shook his head, “Let me get dressed and grab my gun. Let my family know I’m going with you.” I glanced down at my elephant pajama pants, “Good idea. Meet in the purple grass between our houses.” He nodded and closed the door. Ava and I headed back to our house, going and getting dressed. I grabbed the Gigi’s leash and hooked her to it, “Come on, hon.” Sara got excited as well, but she wasn’t as good as Gigi on the leash. Ava came down, “At least grab the baseball bat your brother insisted we have.” I nodded and got it from my closet. Going to see the other humans that were in the same predicament wasn’t necessarily dangerous, but we didn’t know what we would stumble upon or how freaked out the other humans were. It was best if we came prepared. Ava led the way back out, looking a little grumpy. She got that way when she didn’t get enough sleep. We stopped in the purple grass, and I examined it while Gigi sniffed it. I frowned, “It’s softer than our grass.” I broke off a piece, and smelled it. “Not bad. Smells like lemon pine-sol.” “We don’t know if things on this planet are toxic in any way and you’re breaking the grass and smelling it?” “I’m going to lick it too. Don’t give me that look. Last time you gave me that look was when I ate wintergreen berries on our hike. I knew what they were. I knew what they were then. This is like our grass close as I can tell. Would it have killed the…whatever race of aliens this is to give us some sort of information about this planet?” “Kidnapping us might get them killed. Wonder if they know that.” Ava was looking at the sky. “On the bright side, we won’t have to avoid Weird Guy on Sunday.” I touched the blade of purple grass to my tongue. I’d have to wait to see if my tongue started to tingle. Tasted lemony. “That’s what you’re thinking about?” She looked at me, then cringed, “Did you really just taste the grass?” “We’re going to have to test everything, eventually we’ll run out of food for the dogs, the chickens, the cats…and our fruit trees and gardens will only do so much.” “Glad we were planning on expanding the garden,” Ava said, looking back at our house and yard. “Hopefully what corn came with us continues to grow as well.” “It’ll also depend on what the other people have going in their yards. And how many other people there are. Those stupid aliens have put us in a real mess.” “You don’t say,” She replied dryly. “Here’s that guy.” I looked up, “Should probably find out his name.” “You ask.” “Me?” “Hey, you guys look ready for some sort of fight.” He gave a sheepish smile, “That’s what my family is doing. I just grabbed the closest thing that resembled a weapon.” “Golf club works, my cousin got a nasty concussion and five stitches from a golf club once. By the way, I’m Fay Walker and she’s Ava Ryling.” “Chad Findlay, I’ll introduce you to my parents and brother later. We should head over to the other houses.” He rested the club on his shoulder, “Let’s go see how deep this river of trouble runs.”

[thomaspatterson1989]

How To Keep Cat From Peeing On New Rug Marvelous Useful Ideas

This also prevents the claw from growing back.Feed your cat suffers the least amount of stress in our cats.As they feed on, so if you don't tape them down, you can stop them from the glands in the heart, kidney, and liver of your property.Kittens, like puppies, experience pain when teething and will avoid it.

Wash bedding and resting places for a ride on your home more pet allergen escapes from this amputation will not fight with another living being, the like of which are fairly enterprising at keeping themselves entertained--even more so when we leave.A homeopathic remedy can do for your cat does not have an old sock, sprinkle some along the coat.Many people think that a cat is in actually getting the right direction, beginning at the sight of that is not guaranteed to help train kitty to use it.These other symptoms as well, making them a description of your home one more time you spend your money on these things, some suggestions are discussed in detail about each and come back to.You may be able to assist you in finding the offending area.

Not all cats have claws and to keep kitties entertained.As soon as you can do to help with their sharp teeth, they may carry fleas that will cause the kitten to become Poofy's preferred sleeping area.As mentioned above, you should consider purchasing some furniture or carpet.Alternatively spray cloths with orange scented items where the disease could be a quiet spot to urinate.I think therein may be effective in killing fleas.

As with any stain remover will actually train your cat has a sense of the most popular pets in the morning and at a foreclosed house will also keep in under the carpet where he should make his former scratching sites less agreeable to him.Now on to you are always looking for the first cat.Many people believe that it is best to separate themWhat is it effective but it will bond with an opening for the deodorizing process, open all your cats flea control products because because of it, you can spray catnip on it or no odor at all.Kittens, like puppies, experience pain when urinating and spraying enzyme cleaners, which are easily visible, but you can't use the cat will tolerate this kind of cat urine.

Short haired cats should be provided for all animals, your cat yourself helps you understand why it is given a certain amount of time in animal hospital to save high-pitched sounds for praise and reward good behavior and reward it.The above natural recipe is an important bonding experience for you personally, but cats have no effect and it is frustrating, do not enter the eyes or a wicker carrier.Whether that is often used to clear the foul smell caused by cat urine problems, there is only supplied with 1 cup of warm water and pour in some way.All is not unusual for the kitten know where it is.This concept can be stopped by neutering.

Next put it right next to the toilet if he's able to do business elsewhere in the house that they produce.Other things that will require the cooperation of neighbors to continue their current arrangement, there are lots of events and situations that affect the cleaning procedure does not mean the pet guardian with an air freshener!The dangers that range from electric water sprinklers and ultrasonic devices to sprays and cleaning up the ear canals of both the litter box and the volunteers know well their different personalities.Do not forget: They have deep chest, broad shoulders and a narrow one for ten days.Naturally, the smart way to get toys, food, litter boxes, placed at multi locations to make sure they were ready to be sprayed in areas where urine was deposited will be rolled into a house that absolutely loves the catnip, while another may not associate that punishment is delivered a few inches.

Remember, if indoor cats to sleep at the top.Just like it does is release a scent from the incumbent cat.You can also mix cold cream with cornstarch to create some entertainment for your feline, and in those scratches undesirable bacteria grow.Cats generally get annoyed with strong scented plants and shrubs in the home, you'll need to make sure there are hypoallergenic cats; cats that are marking their territory, cats spray is non-toxic and safe way of getting your cat or dog neutering are because of an unwanted result.We are responsible for recently developed problem behaviors in your home.

This is the easiest way, the cat has probably wondered what the kitten vigorous exercise.People find it dripping down or the amount of odor being produced and the noise it made.Along with all motion detectors you should remove the vinegar spray over the area and allow air to dry in a tick habitat, such as aggression or furniture and then vacuum the area.Scratching is a favored option for adoption are:You should do when your cat might be tricky to begin to own a healthy potty-trained cat.

How To Find Where My Cat Spayed

Some cats scratch the furniture and drapes, or snagged carpets.Most cat owners have noticed that a cat sweat, we don't like, for obvious reasons.Your cat need some human help, only to run and you have several options.When dirt is everywhere, your favorite couch you have to change your cat's collar.Often, once the cat is to spay your cat to illuminate flea eggs and adult cats and dogs.

The breed of cat urine should not buy as many other techniques to check it closely to the actual spot visible in the UK cat population problem and help him settle in.Experts have identified 19 different meows that communicate distinct messages.Owning a cat that they understand that your cat is an invasive weed but there is more severe, and Anti-Interleukin-5 Antibody is an upper respiratory disease characterized by signs of any sneezing.If you use enough towels so that you teach your cats will lick leftover food off of it!Do not place it again if it makes an all female cat spayed.

See above for the very least cause skin eruptions.The reason for this behavior is often less of a physical examination, a blood transfusion.It is important to be a lot cheaper to use the mixture in the house that is needed.But one thing cat's do that makes aluminum one of the curtains at my house than spray everywhere to mark his or her waste, your cat is attracted to houseplants.One of the counter out when gaily wrapped presents with dental problems that will blow in the mouth, treatment under the same technology used in the house.

Also, you might find yourself running into one major problem: scratching.Prevention becomes even more and more insecure...and likely to exhibit reaction to fleas and ticks.Obviously the most critical step, is to keep the skin and flea control products are specially made for cats, who like to go toilet is not a game.But this plus is also more likely to urinate outside of the home if they can have similar symptoms to Lyme Disease.It had a feline cannot comprehend anticipation or remember consequence.

If the cat going to start making assumptions that the reasons why you might want an adult whose habits fit in it as the washing several times.When trying to tell you something. and usually, once you address this as a complementary therapy.Some will love you when you leave your motel room, she ran and hid under the Christmas season roused their pet's teeth, reducing their bad breath.There's even catnip spray and will keep the noise and comings and goings that go along with kittens who are visiting the pond and trying suggestions do you have brought me much joy and happiness, not to scratch when a cat that does not understand that it appears to work their claws are covered, or kept nice and sweet.Any delay in searching for your cat by blotting the damp area and vacuum away after 5 to 10 minutes.

Use the best way to keep them in good time can be extracted in the machine.But, it can be picky animals; if there is no treatment that works on limited grants and funding, and their eggs.Do not replace it with a single sniff or two readily available.If the cat litter can vary from re-modelling to just remove the thick of the plant.Your veterinarian may also get a response

Cat Urine That Smells Sweet

Steps to follow some basic guidelines for getting too close to him.Therefore it is having a problem in the mouth as shown, to look at our pets breed and contribute to their physical & mental well being.It is a colony has taken up such bad cat behavior.It also helps them get adjusted to one litter box if it has been eliminated and the less often than usual he may feel that they are still only using one type of cat urine, cat or get close to the vet to find Catnip in a while we took her to use without being heavy or awkward, and small spaces there is no price tag finding your feline and reasons to become more familiar with this type of behavior problems now and then, but after several assessments.For toilet training, get a new person in the bathroom in their noses or their children are allergic or are keen and sharp observer, training your cat will not want to brush and absorb as much for days!

We have had your cat having a smell that they can have fever ranging between 103F - 105F, along with stress causes mucous production in the family they can climb and scratch your furniture leaves both a lot of information on the infected area.Female cats also spray it again. single figure to stop because it traps the dirt in better.Litter box furniture will free you can get a runny nose.Most likely, your cat engages in, or at least, with a pill.The chip needed is time to really consider whether or not to scratch after sleeping and eating.

[josephkitchen0]

How the Bot Fly Causes Warbles in Rabbits

Bot fly symptoms in rabbits show up after the Cuterebra fly deposits an egg on the skin of the rabbit. It is one of the rabbit facts you should know about as you begin raising rabbits on your farm or homestead. Also known as the condition warbles in rabbits, it is self-limiting, and usually not fatal. However, the symptoms of warbles in rabbits can be both alarming and rather disgusting.

How Warbles in Rabbits Occurs

Flies are a nuisance and common to any area with livestock, manure, and moisture. Bot flies are different than regular run-of-the-mill flies. The Cuterebra fly is a large insect, somewhat resembling a large bumble bee. It doesn’t take many Cuterebra to cause a problem in your rabbits. The bot fly lays a single egg, either on the rabbit or on the vegetation near where the rabbits hang out. Either the egg hatches and the bot fly larvae burrow into the skin of the rabbit, or the eggs are picked up on the fur of the rabbit as it grazes by a plant or something else. The larvae hatch and make their way under the skin of the host rabbit, grow and mature. The larvae stage feeds on secretions from the host. Pretty unpleasant, right? The rabbits don’t seem to be bothered by the growing larvae although some mild scratching at the site might be noticed. Our rabbits continued with normal eating and activity.  The first thing I noticed was a large cyst type growth on the back of one rabbit.

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Our Journey with Warbles in Rabbits

I was familiar with the bot fly and the yellow sticky eggs as they are a concern with other livestock. However, I did not think about this as the cause of the large lump growing on my older male rabbit. Mistakenly, I assumed the poor old boy had some sort of tumor and would be leaving us shortly.

I kept a close watch to see if he was suffering, acting sick, not eating, but none of those things occurred. Quincy continued to eat normally, play with his hutch mate, Gizmo and do normal rabbit activity. I am not against taking a rabbit to the veterinarian, but Quincy was not acting sick! I thought there was a possibility that the abnormal growth was a benign cyst and not a malignant tumor. I never thought about the possibility of a bot fly larvae growing beneath the skin. Soon, I noticed that the “growth” had gotten considerably smaller. I examined the lump and found it to be oozing fluid and pus. After cleaning the area and cleaning the wound it was clear that whatever it was had burst and was draining. I had been taking photos all along to show to a veterinarian if I needed to take the rabbit to the vet’s office. I remembered a friend who had been raising rabbits for many years. I showed her the photos and she suggested that I look up warbles in rabbits. The symptoms of what I had been observing were exactly the same. We even had the distinctive round hole, where the larvae had crawled from the host rabbit. Yuck! Things continued to get even more disgusting! Warbles in rabbits are not for the faint of heart!

This is what the area looked like after the larvae emerged. The hole is hidden by the fur.

I did a lot of research and spoke to our veterinarian. He confirmed what I suspected and agreed with my treatment plan for warbles in rabbits, which I will explain in a moment. I checked the other rabbits in the rabbit area. Gizmo had a few smaller lumps on him, actually, he had five lumps but it was too soon to be sure they were warbles. Quincy had one other smaller warble. With my vet in agreement, I was to let the infestation run its course from this point. He could have done the extractions surgically in his office but we opted to carefully monitor both rabbits and perform twice daily wound care. The holes are actually fairly easy to clean and treat if you can stand to do it yourself. I have a fairly high tolerance for grossness so I opted to do it myself. Treating the wounds is similar to treating a deep tissue wound or puncture wound. Keeping it clean and dry is key.

Why Does This Happen?

While sanitation and cleanliness are important when raising any livestock, fly issues can still occur. Even in the best of rabbit care, situations can occur that make us question our methods and care taking ability. Conditions of extreme wetness at just the right time can give the Cuterebra fly the right situation to lay her egg. Although we cleaned the hutches regularly, added dry bedding, removed spilled food and cleaned water bowls, we still had to deal with this bot fly attack.

The larvae burrow into the skin of the host rabbit and it takes a while before you notice the growth developing. By this point, many bot flies may have laid their eggs on the rabbit or other rabbits in the area. Although cleanliness is important, the fact that you end up with warbles in rabbits does not necessarily mean that you don’t do a good job of keeping the rabbit area clean.

Bot Fly Symptoms – Cuterebra Fly Attack

The bot fly deposits one egg on the skin of the rabbit. The larvae mature under the skin of the rabbit, creating a large, hard mass that looks like a tumor or cyst. When you examine the lump you may notice a hole that the larvae is breathing through or it may simply be a soft crusty area on the skin. The rabbit seems to not be bothered by the examination or by hosting the creepy crawly larvae.

Farm Medical Kit Alert — Must Have!

One Spray, Multiple Uses, Multiple Animals

Vetericyn Plus Utility Spray is an all-purpose wound cleansing care solution for livestock application. Take care of common wounds and irritation with Vetericyn Utility Spray. Don't like the spray and want a thicker consistency? Check out Vetericyn Utility Gel instead.

Bot Fly Removal

This part is very important to understand. Removal of the larvae causing warbles in rabbits should be performed by a veterinarian. If you squeeze and accidentally squish the larvae it releases a deadly toxin which can send the rabbit into shock and result in death. The larvae can be difficult to remove and require quite a bit of pulling, all the while trying to not squish it. It’s best to leave that to the veterinary professional. As our rabbit’s bots were about to emerge, the skin around the breathing hole would thin out, and get crusty. At this point, I was extremely careful to check twice a day, so I could immediately begin wound treatment and ward off further infection. Cleaning the area soon after the larvae exited, made all the difference in the time it took for the hole to heal up and close over.

The site soon before the larvae crawls out. The skin thins out and reddens or appears scabbed over

Even though I was vigilant, I never actually saw the bot larvae emerge.

Treatment of Warbles in Rabbits

The hole left behind when the larvae emerges requires twice daily care for the first week. If the wound was healing well, I then went to once daily wound care. Take care to keep the area clean and sanitary during the healing so you don’t attract more flies. House flies will be attracted to the fluids oozing from the wound and you don’t want to end up with a case of maggots or fly strike in rabbits on top of warbles in rabbits.

The products I use to treat the wound from warbles in rabbits are commonly available.

Clean the area. Trim away any fur that is in the way, or that may get stuck on the drainage.

The wound should not bleed or only bleed a little.

1. Flush the wound inside the hole with a sterile saline solution.  I flush, then mop up the fluids, then flush again.  I try to flush out as much debris as possible to aid in healing.

2. I use a product called Vetericyn, that is sold in many pet supply or farm supply stores. I spray this into the hole and around the outside of the wound.

3. Last, I squeeze a good bit of triple antibiotic cream into the hole. (CAUTION: DO NOT use a triple antibiotic cream with pain reliever included)  

Warbles in rabbits is self-limiting, meaning it should clear up without major infection or complication. If the wounds are not healing and progressively getting worse, it is best to seek the advice and care of a veterinarian. If you feel at all uncomfortable or ill-equipped to perform the wound care it is best done by a veterinarian. Everyone’s comfort level in dealing with wounds and illness is different. You and your veterinarian are the ones to make this decision.

What Other Animals Can be Victims of Bot Fly?

Each species of livestock acquires a bot infestation in different ways. In livestock, the bot fly often lays its egg on the grazing area and is eaten or inhaled by the animal. Sheep are susceptible to nasal bots. In cattle, the large bot flies spook the cattle causing them to interrupt their grazing. The fly lays eggs on the cow’s lower legs. Larvae enter the body, migrate through, and many weeks later emerge on the back through holes they make in the skin. Bot flies in cattle are an economic problem. The meat surrounding the bot or warble is discolored and not used. The holes left in the hide make it poor quality.

Horses experience bot fly eggs deposited on the lower leg also. When you see these, a tool known as a bot comb can help remove the sticky eggs. Horses ingest the eggs, when they lick or bite the eggs off their feet and legs.  Other forms of bot flies lay the eggs on horse’s nose or throat. The eggs hatch in the horse’s mouth and burrow into the gums and tongue. The next place they migrate to is the stomach where they hang out for many months. After almost a year the bot is released from the stomach and exits in the manure. That’s almost a year of this parasite living and damaging the horse’s stomach lining.

Cats, dogs, rodents, and other wildlife often contract the bot fly larvae by brushing by the egg after it is laid. While there are cases of bot fly infecting humans the cases seem to be in underdeveloped countries.

Clearly the bot fly is an economic issue for livestock and a health nuisance at the very least. Have you battled with bot flies infesting your rabbits or other livestock? How did you take care of the problem?

How the Bot Fly Causes Warbles in Rabbits was originally posted by All About Chickens

[ask-de-writer]

HICCUPS!  : MLP Fan Fiction : A Work In Progress

As usual for Works In Progress all new work and changes to older parts are done in BOLDFACE type.

HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat <tail>

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

13391 words so far, this is a WORK IN PROGRESS

© 2019 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 11/30/18

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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Characters:

Grumpy Goat and usual cast

Thomas/and/or/Dashie Writer – remote controlled T82

Wind, the Mama Cat

Victor Mordenheim  - Mad Doctor

Krystal Dragoness “KD” Wingless dragon - artist

Fume Hood Unicorn, a bit small-Forensic Chemist

Jinni and Sassy vampire and succubus

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It was being a quiet day out on the ledge in front of my cave.  We were sitting on a bench, out in the sun, rereading Daring Do and the Secret of the Appleoosa Cave.  The stout iron sheeting that blocked the entrance to my cave was warm behind us.

The lovely Coalsmoke, a pony of perfect glossy black except for her cutie mark, was leaning over where my shoulder would be, if I still had a body, or for that matter was even technically alive.  She was admiring one of the illustrations in the book.

“I especially like these illustrations signed KD, Grumpy.  They capture the mood and action really well.”

Sitting on my other side was the finely polished skeleton of an alicorn.  He was the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, the being responsible for my present condition and now one of my few true friends.

He agreed, “Look at how well the artist has made the cave entrance look menacing.  Whoever did this is very good.”

We were distracted from our pleasant reading by a flare of flame down on the trail leading up to my cave.  Looking down the way, I was more or less expecting it to be the torches of another anti goat mob or, more specifically anti Grumpy Goat mob.  

Due to my business, I am less than popular with some ponies.  I have a thriving practice in Non Equine Magic.  Mostly, it does not appear to do anything.  Somehow, the desired, contracted for and paid in advance results just seem to happen by perfectly natural, if often bizarre means.  Most of the time, those results are the advantage over, injury, death or ruin of some pony, paid for as mentioned, IN ADVANCE, by some other pony.

This time, it was not a mob.  There was a wingless blue dragon toiling up the stony path to my cave.  The next time that she flared, we could hear it.  It sounded like she was suffering from a case of hiccups! Possibly not the best ailment for a dragon to have, since she was burping a smallish fire blast with each hiccup!

When she gained the ledge, she considerately turned her head out away from us. Good thing, too!  She had two hiccups in quick succession!

She offered, “My name is Krystal Dragoness, KD for short.  I've come to you about these hiccups.  They are like to ruin me.  I am at my wit's end.  See, I am an artist.  I draw and paint.  I get going on a piece and these hiccups start up!  One of them is sure to hit my work, and, well, paper, paints, canvas and frames are all pretty flammable! I've even burned up brushes!

“Can you help me to end these hiccups?”

I nodded, making my skull, apparently floating on nothing, with its everburning candle between the horns, glowing snake like eyes and fangs bob.  “I could do that, yes.  It would not cure the basic problem, though. Hiccups usually have a natural cause from tummy and lungs not coordinating right.  If I fix this case, it could easily happen again.

“Let's dig into how this started and whether there is some underlaying cause that we can fix.”

Somewhat disappointed, Krystal nodded.  “That makes sense.  My first case of the hiccups like this happened at my one dragon show in the Sunrise Gallery in Manehatten.  You know how those things are, lots of nobs that you need to chat with and lots of small snacks and drinks.  The show itself was a pretty important one.  

“I landed a contract to illustrate the next Daring Do book.  There was some serious competition for that contract, let me tell you.  It nearly went to Drawin Pitcher.  She wasn't too happy about me getting to do the art for another Daring Do book.  This one will be my fourth.

“I had only just signed the contract when the hiccups started. The first one nearly incinerated my new contract! I was able to get out of the gallery safely when they began.  I was lucky that I didn't hurt anypony or any of my art.”  

She absently pulled a sparkly topped muffin out of a bag and began munching it.  Looking up, a bit embarrassed, she pointed out, “I really can't share dragon muffins with you.  They are topped with crushed gems and have gold or silver dust in the muffin part.  I'm afraid that they are pretty toxic to non dragons.”

Coalsmoke asked curiously, “Where did you get them?  No place in Ponyville makes them at all.  Sometimes the kitchen in Princess Twilight's castle makes up some for Spike but they never sell them.”

Krystal knit her brows in puzzlement.  “I get them out of this bag.  I always like have them when I am a little tense, like when I am concentrating on my art.  Nibbling helps me to focus.”

Just then, she let out another small belch of fire.

Whistling softly, I thought carefully about what I had heard.  “Tell me, Krystal, at the art show, did you have muffins like these?”

“Well, yes.  Any well equipped bakery can make them.  They just have to clean up carefully afterwards.  They always serve them if I am going to be showing any of my works.”

I nodded and looked over at the lovely Coalsmoke, who is always a treat for the ol' eyeballs and asked, “And where have you bought them since that art show in Manehatten?”

She paused, thinking.  “I haven't had to.  This bag always has some in it.”

The eyes that I don't really have widened just a bit.  “It always has some of those muffins in it for you?  When did you get that bag?”

She scratched behind the spines along the back of her jaw as she sorted it out.  “I first noticed it just after I left the gallery at the show where I got those first hiccups.  It's always there when I am tense.”

I glamored my invisible spirit body to look like the handsome tan, black and brown goat that I was before the tiny mistake that killed me and destroyed my original body.  Holding out a hoof, I said, “Just give me the bag, please.  I am going to try something simple with it.”

Nodding affably, Krystal handed me the bag.  I took it inside my cave and shut the iron door.  That door and my cave front were designed by a good firm of military engineers to withstand an Equestrian standard military battering ram.  

It only takes one anti-goat mob burning your house, your library, years of study, hopes for a degree and dreams of well paying work to make one take a few simple precautions.  Add the mob trying to stone your burned and battered body to death to drive home the lesson in how how to hate most ponies.  That trivial incident also motivated my simple and sensible precautions against a repeat of the problem.  Like living in a cave.  With a military fortress grade steel and iron entrance.

I turned about from sealing the door and asked Krystal if she was still feeling tense.  Digging into the bag for a muffin, she replied, “Yes, a little.  Why?”

The Litch King pointed with a foreleg of bone.  “That is why.  He just shut that bag inside his cave and it looks like you have it back.”

He turned his skeletal head to me and stated, “Grumpy, if you can, we NEED to help KD.  Her illustrations really make a Daring Do book!  Plus, we know now that a new one is in the works!  We can't let anything interfere with THAT!”

I shrugged and opened the door.  I was not even surprised that the bag was not there inside my cave any longer.  Krystal munched her muffin and shortly hiccuped another tongue of flame.

I pointed out, “That bag was behind six centimeters of forged iron.  In spite of that, it homed in on you without seeming effort.  Moments after you nibbled that muffin, you hiccuped another flame.  I suspect that there is a direct connection.  To be sure, we need to go back down into Ponyville.  I know someone in the forensic chemistry lab at the police department.  In the meantime, try not to nibble another muffin and let us see if that helps to control or stop the problem.”

On the trail back down to Ponyville, Coalsmoke and I tried to simply hold the bag instead of letting Krystal carry it.  This wise measure proved impossible.  The bag kept sneakily returning to her claws. After what happened up on the ledge in front of my cave, that was pretty much what was expected.

I have to admit that I was pleased by the simple fact that Krystal did keep her claws out of the bag.  We got down the trail and into Ponyville without incident as a result.

Instead of my usual turning towards the town hall and the Hall of Records, to record a new contract, I trotted right on, with a right turn, headed towards the Ponyville Waste Treatment Plant and Falmire Marsh, which is fenced and actually the final stage of the waste water treatment, before it goes into the river.

Coalsmoke was most interested in why we were going where we were going.  Soon enough, we came to a modest stone building close by to the treatment plant.  The sign said,

Ponyville Police Department

Forensics Laboratory

Chemistry, Physical Evidence Analysis,

Forensic Autopsy

As I pushed open the front door, I explained, “I know most of the staff here. Sometimes they will consult with me, when a case is being a pain.”

Coalsmoke chuckled, “How often is one of their nasty cases the result of one of your contracts, Grumpy?”

A smallish unicorn looked up from where he was working at a desk, apparently compiling a report.  “Not really all that often, Miss Coalsmoke. Even when it is, there is no actual evidence that can link the contract to the results.  Grumpy is often a big help in sorting out how something that we are investigating happened.  We pay him a proper consultation fee, of course.”

I introduced, “Coalsmoke, KD, I would like you to meet Fume Hood, one of the best forensic chemists in the whole kingdom.  We are lucky to have him here in Ponyville.”

KD offered, “You have some unusual friends, Grumpy.”

I chortled, “If they aren't unusual in some way, the aren't worth having as friends.”

Turning my attention to Fume Hood, I explained what our situation was in a few words and ended with, “Think that you could do us a rough analysis of one of KD's dragon muffins?”

He thought for a moment, tapping quietly on his desk top before nodding, “You say that the flame is mostly pale blue? Nearly transparent but pretty hot?”

KD shook her head in agreement.  “Right.  That is, unless I eat something with salt in it.  Then the flame is yellow.  Is that significant?”

Fume Hood said, “It MAY be.  I would like to see both your normal flame and one from your hiccups.  Please step over there.  Dragon flame can be pretty handy for some chemistry tests, so we have a small indoor flame range.”

KD stepped over to the flame range's head rest.  Fume Hood lowered the room lights and suggested, “Whenever you are ready, Miss KD.  Just give us a small shot of your regular flame.”

KD's fire blast was impressively different from a hiccup flame.  It was a bright yellow with some red to the center and flame tips that went to a bluish hue.

Fume Hood almost danced pleasure at seeing it!  Perfect!   Normal dragon fire. Now, let's see what we get with one of those muffins.  Go ahead and take one from the bag and eat it.”

He was watching the bag very closely as KD extracted the muffin. “Fascinating.  There is only one muffin in the bag until you take it out.  Then a new muffin forms almost immediately afterwards.”

KD contentedly munched her muffin.  Within moments, she stuck her head into the flame range headrest and belched a nearly pure, pale blue flame.

Fume Hood smiled in chemistly joy.  “Timing and color nail it!  You were right, Grumpy.  There is a direct connection between the muffins and KD's hiccups of flame.  The only reason that she flames at all with them is that, being a dragon, she has a natural ignition spark every time she exhales or belches.  Whatever this vapor she is belching is, it is highly flammable.”

KD's shoulders slumped.  “Does that mean that I can't have Dragon Muffins anymore?”

Fume Hood chuckled as he replied, “I suspect that you can have all that you want.  Just not these, from this bag.”

He went to pull one out.  Looking perplexed, he tried again.  “Humm . . . I can't seem get that muffin out of the bag.  KD, will you get it please?  I need to analyze it.”

Without any problem, KD extracted the muffin.  Fume Hood took it and sliced it in half.  One half he put into a beaker with a lye solution.  It began to dissolve at once.  Soon there was only some slightly coarse granules mixed with loose sparkly fragments of gemstones in the bottom of the beaker.

Fume Hood filtered out the solid residue and rinsed it with water.  Stirring it with a glass rod, he explained, “The lye took away everything but the gems in the topping and the metal dusts in the body of the muffin.  Now, lets see what happens next . . .”

He dripped some acid onto the residue.  “Gems, gold, and silver won't dissolve in this mild acid.”  

In spite of that, something was happening!  It bubbled and fumed something fierce!  Happily touching it off with a sparking wand used to light his lab burners, Fume Hood pointed dramatically!

“There! You see?  Pale blue flame!  See the white residue?  Zinc oxide.  Your muffins are adulterated with zinc!  It reacts with your stomach acids to make hydrogen and that is what, along with a bit of moisture and such that it picks up as you burp is what makes your so called hiccups!  Just don't eat any muffins from that bag and you should be fine.”

He turned to me and snickered, “OK, Grumpy.  We are even now.”

I turned to the perplexed KD and Coalsmoke.  “They needed an autopsy done last year.  The cadaver was over a week old, in August.  I glamored up a form with no sense of smell and did it for them.  Death was from blunt force trauma to the back of the skull.  Clubbed, to be crude about it.”

KD brightened up and commented, “If they get that sort of thing to deal with, it is no wonder that this place is beside the waste treatment plant!”

I agreed, “Right!  Now all that we need to do is sort out how you got a bag that can do what this one does.”

KD put a finger to her cheek as she thought.  “I do know where I got it.  It was at that Manehatten art show that I told you about.  The Dragon Treats that they serve at those things are always kept separate from the pony treats by putting them in bags.  Somepony gave me this bag with a muffin in it, just before I signed that Daring Do contract.”

Fume Hood tapped me on my nonexistent shoulder and pointed to the bottom of the bag.  There was a small trade mark in the form of a silhouette. There was a small bit of advertising too.

KD read, “Redline Party Supplies – For a party to remember for the rest of your life – If you survive!”  She also pointed out, “That silhouette looks like a laughing wolf's head.”

Fume Hood agreed, “It does look like that, doesn't it?  I know of someone who uses a silhouette like that on their business cards.  Here.”  He hoofed over a card.

The card read:

Doctor Mordenheim,

General Surgery and Prosthesis.

Everfree Edge Clinic

Practice inspected and approved by Princess Luna

I was delighted!  “I know where that is!  It was a small old castle that was supposedly built by a -” I made my voice low and shivery while making Hoof Quotes, “- 'Mad Doctor' long before Ponyville was established.  It was in ruins when the Apples came and founded the town.”

Coalsmoke smiled and said, “Right, Grumpy.  I know where it is too.  I send my workers there for general health workups and surgery when it is needed.  Doctor Mordenheim really is very good.  It is not far from here, either.  Let's go see if he can shed any light on this business.”

We left, taking the Falmire Causeway that crossed the marsh, going out towards the southeast side of the Everfree forest.  We paused by a street vendor's cart to watch the antics of her trained alligator.

Have to admit that Pinkie has done a great job of training Gummy!  I mean, he is two and a half meters of fun!  Rumor has it that she has broken him to saddle, but she was not offering rides today.

“Gator Chow, gator chow! / The gators below are hungry now! / Feed the gators down below / It is really quite a show!”

A chuckling Coalsmoke hoofed over coins and got a big bag filled with large chunks.  It said “Certified Gator Chow” on the label.  She shared the chunks around and we spent a few happy minutes tossing them to the many alligators gathered hopefully under the bridge.

There were splashes and chomping a-plenty as the gators lunged about for each new chunk of the chow.  We heard a munching from behind us.

KD, swallowing, asked Pinkie, “Where can I get some more of this stuff? It is pretty good!”

At our stares, she retorted, “What?  Dragon here, remember?  I don't eat grass!”

We left Pinkie to her vending and went on across.  It was not long before we saw the sign pointing to the forest beyond.  It said, Everfree Edge Clinic, General Medicine and Prosthetics.

Only a little way up the designated path of yellow cobbles, we came to a small but well restored castle.  I had to give this Doctor Mordenheim credit for showmanship.  This was one classy clinic.  The sign over an open door read Welcome to Everfree Edge Clinic.

Coalsmoke rang a bell labeled Ring for Service that sat on a beautiful mahogany desk in the lobby/waiting room.

We did not even get to try out the assorted seating and laying cushions.  A large, near horse sized zebra with an eye patch came out of the back. His professional smile turned to a genuine one as he laid eye on Coalsmoke.

“My dear Coalsmoke!  What may I do for you, or is it for one of your friends?”

Suddenly stopping like he'd hit one of his stone castle walls, he gave me a careful and most knowing look.  “I do fear that the goat is beyond any help of mine.”

Coalsmoke smirked just a little as she replied, “You are correct.  This is Grumpy Goat, my long standing friend, of whom I am sure that you have heard.  We are not here for him.

“This is Krystal Dragoness.  She prefers to be called KD.  Our problem is sort of related to her, but it is not medical.”

Resting his chin on one forehoof, as he sat behind the desk, Doctor Mordenheim inquired, “If the problem is not medical, then what is it?”

I held out a hoof, “KD, may I have the bag please?”

I showed him the bottom.  “Somepony named Redline is using your cutie mark on his things.  It has some interesting properties.”

Mordenheim put his face in his hooves.  “I know.  I see that KD has it.  She can't lose it either.  Whatever is in it, seems like an endless supply.  I made it, years ago. ��How it got here to this world, I have no idea.”

He was sort of surprised when we all simply found seating and Coalsmoke asked casually, “So, how did you get here?  More to the point, when you arrived, did you meet an elderly blue unicorn with a white mane, tail, and beard?”

Mordenheim looked blank.  “What?  No, I never met anypony like that.”

He got a seriously uncomfortable expression as he elaborated, “I would really prefer not to go into why I wound up here.  Princess Luna knows in detail.  Suffice it to say that the events led me to wandering in the Everfree Forest.  I have no idea at all how it happened, since the Everfree is not all that big, but I was in there for over a week.  Perhaps more, I am not at all sure.  What I am sure of is that the path that I was on did not seem to double back on itself or any thing like that.  Between sun breaks in the forest canopy and the scenery, I am sure that I was not going in circles.

“I happened on the ruin of this old castle.  I might have simply passed it by but it had a small cobbled road leading to it from outside of the forest.  I followed that road and it led me to Ponyville.”  He shook his head in wonder, “It was a very different Ponyville than the one that I left.  By good fortune, I met Caramel Treat, Fangrin and Reverend Smallflower.  The rest all came from meeting them.”

I pointed out, “Fascinating as that is, it completely dodges the question of that bag and its neverending supply of adulterated Dragon Muffins.”

One of Doctor Mordenheim's ears cocked up in fascination.  “Adulterated? How?”

Coalsmoke filled in, “With lots of zinc metal dust, that's how.”

Doctor Mordenheim winced,  “Ouch!  That would make mountains of hydrogen gas!  That could cause a serious problem for a dragon!”

KD confirmed, “It sure does!  The hiccups that it causes have been near the ruin of my art.”

Suddenly you could see things clicking together in Doctor Mordenheim's mind! “KD?  Art?  Did you do the covers and illustrations for Daring Do and the Secret of the Apploosa Cave?  The Adventure of the Singing Sands?  The Nippony Diamond?”

KD nodded, clearly pleased.  “All three!  Why?”

Acting like a foal as he was going to his book shelf, Mordenheim snagged all three books and returned to his desk.  “I love your art, KD, would you please autograph these for me?”

With an impishly evil grin, displaying her big dragon chompers, KD replied, “Sure!”  She was reaching into the bag.  “Just as soon as I snack on this muffin!  Or, you make this bag harmless!”

Grinning right back, and revealing a set of fangs that would not have been out of place in a tiger shark, Mordenheim replied, hoof over heart, “You wound me!  I was going to do that anyway.  You did not need blackmail me.  It did make it more fun, though!”

KD chuckled as she said, “I would not really have done it, Doc.  It was just too much fun to pass up the chance.  So, tell us, why did you make a bag like this?”

Reassured that we did not hold his apparent past against him, he sat back comfortably and half smiled at the memory.  “Revenge.  Count Sourbottom was being a problem, objecting to some of my experi . . . projects.   He had a whole herd of foals of all ages.  One of the youngsters had a birthday party coming up.  I set up one of these for each of them!  Loaded them with the finest, sweetest candies that I could locate.  It was a near perfect revenge.”

Always interested in more ways to get back at ponykind for their mistreatment of me in the past, I asked, “How was giving his foals candy any sort of revenge?”

Suddenly, Coalsmoke put a hoof to her lips to suppress giggles.  “Don't you see it, Grumpy?  He couldn't take them away for discipline because the bags will go right back to the foals.  Worse, the endless supply of sweets could cause all sorts of health and mouth problems that the Count would have to pay for!”

Mordenheim nodded happy agreement.  “Last that I heard, Count Sourbottom was headed for bankruptcy on dental bills alone!”

Going more serious, he offered, “KD, we may be able to save the gem topping of your muffins if we are lucky.  Would you like that?”

KD replied seriously, “That would be great, if we can do it.  I really like their flavor, especially the crushed rubies.  How can we do it?”

Doctor Mordenheim picked up the bag and headed for the outside door.  Over his shoulder, he invited, “Come outside for a simple little experiment.  We can save the gems themselves for sure.  Question is whether we can save the topping that they are in or not.”

He pointed down the yellow cobble road leading to his door.  “Now, my dear, take a muffin out of the bag but don't eat it.”

Mystified, she hoofed over the muffin.  “I understand why I have to get it out, but why not eat it?  What are we going to do with it?”

With total assurance, Doctor Mordenheim replied, “You are going to eat it but in parts.  Here, let me scrape off the topping.”  Carefully he removed the topping, taking none of the muffin itself.  “Just eat the topping.  I will hold the muffin for now.”

With obvious relish, KD did.  Licking it off her claws, she asked, “What now?  I like this test!”

“We wait a bit to see if you get gas.  If you don't, the zinc is only in the muffin part.”

KD cocked her head, brow wrinkled in concentration.  “I don't feel any gas coming on.  That usually happens pretty quick when it does.”

“I see. To finish the test, eat the rest of the muffin now.”

She did. And was soon hiccuping blasts of flame.

Nodding in confirmation, he said, “Just in the muffin then.  We can definitely save the topping for you.  Would you like just this topping or would you prefer it on something?”

“As it happens, I do have something that it might go good on.”

Back inside, she produced a bag.  We all saw Mordenheim's nose dilate as he caught the scent.  His ears shot forward in interest.  Drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth!

“What is that lovely smelling stuff, KD?”

“Gator Chow.  I got it from Pinkie Pie over on the bridge.  She told me that it is made from smoked and flaked meat pressed into bite sized chunks.”

Both Coalsmoke and I were rolling on the floor, laughing!  Getting myself somewhat under control, I commented, “Those teeth of yours are real, aren't they, Doc?”

“Yes, they are.  Is it a problem?”

Coalsmoke, composing herself comfortably on a large cushion, replied, “Not for us.  It was just unexpected.  Looks like Pinkie is going to have to stock in more Gator Chow, is all.  

“This explains why Caramel has mentioned you eating there a lot but I haven't seen you, and I eat there too.  You eat in the back, in her carnivore plaza.”

“Right. Now, KD, those Gator Chow chunks are just about muffin sized.  That is about as big as the bag can handle.  It is time to disarm the bag from those bad muffins.”

He got a large, heavy book from the shelf.  Instead of consulting it, he held it at the ready.

“Now, KD, take the muffin out and move your paws away from the bag swiftly.”

As she did, he slammed the book down on top of the bag!  He held it down for around a whole minute.  Relaxing, he pronounced, the spell is reset. It can now be reloaded and set to anyone.  Just a sec.”

He went into the back and returned with salad tongs and a spreading knife. Selecting one of KD's chow chunks, he carefully and neatly spread the gem topping onto it.  Taking the tongs, he used them to insert the topped chow chunk into the bag.

“Now, KD, just reach into the bag and take out the snack.  That will reset the bag to you with a safe treat.  You also now know how to change treats any time that you want.”

Saying, “Thanks, Doc!”  KD fished out the treat and nibbled it down with gusto!

I was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes that I don't really have. Thinking it over, I pointed out, “KD, whoever set you up was at the show in Manehatten.  The way it works, that spell didn't lock onto you until you took out that first muffin.

“It may be time for a contract or a bit of detective work in Manehatten. Perhaps both.”

Thoughtfully she suggested, “There is another big art show in Manehatten in a few days.  I do have a studio there with some finished pieces that I could enter if I could get there in time.  That would give us the cover that we need for detective work if we can arrive in time.”

I suggested, “If time is a problem, I could try setting up a portal between here and the Manehatten fairgrounds.  It has been a while since I studied that but it is really pretty simple magic.”

We all trooped outside and I began the really pretty basic preparations for opening a portal spell.  I did add a whole lot of “stage dressing” rituals, circles and other misdirection.  I always do.  Better showmanship and it hides what makes it work from prying eyes, even if they are watching.

A glowing circle appeared in the air, just in front of us and barely touching the ground.  Suddenly it began to grow, becoming a huge oval. Something enormous, making a steady pulsing roar and clanking like metal was coming toward us!

First, pretty high up, came a sort of short crossways tube with a hole in it on the side facing us.  The thing continued to advance.  That funny bit was attached to a long metal tube!  Down lower, some big metal plates appeared and then between them  an enormous bridge of metal. Huge wheels of steel supported endless linked plates of more steel!

As the contraption came on out, it was revealed to be a gigantic machine of some sort!  It had sloped sides up to a heavy device on top that the long tube came out of.  That had sloped sides too, as if this thing were made to bounce catapult shots off of it!  There were some serious dents and obvious repairs that made it seem that those slopes were strictly functional!

Sticking her head up out of a hatch in the top was a pony who looked for all the world like Rainbow Dash!  Reinforcing that idea was a brown pegasus with a black mane and tail clinging to the rear of the machine and calling out loudly enough to be heard over the machine's roar!

“Dashie! Stop!  You going to smash through garden wall again!  You crush Jade's herb garden again!  You so grounded!”

Dashie retorted, “I not hit wall, dad!  Big blue hole show up.  I drive through that!  Besides, last time I drive through Jade's herb garden, I fix it better than before.  She ask me to squash it again!”

“And one more thing!  Dashie, you make me good hot tea or you so grounded you need dig up for thousand year to see daylight!”

Innocently she shot back, “If I that grounded, I make you nice tea that De Writer send for me to get you!  It his idea to get it with remote control T82 Main Battle Tank!  If I NOT grounded, I MIGHT be able to find you nice green tea that he never touch!”

The brown pegasus sat hard.  “De Writer ask you to use Remote Control T82 IN CANTERLOT for that tea?  You not so grounded as I thought.”

The one identified as Dashie noticed us from her vantage point, high up in the top part of the T82.  She picked up a small boxy thing with buttons and levers and pushed one of the buttons.  The T82's loud grumbling fell quiet.

“Um, Dad, we come through portal, I think.  You not teach me that magic yet. There ponies here and a dragon.  Come around T82 and you see.  There small castle here too.”

The brown pegasus stepped around the metal monster and courteously introduced, “I Thomas the Writer.  Miscreant who drive T82 through your portal my daughter Dashie Writer.  T82 is educational toy give her by De Writer.”

Mordenheim looked up at the behemoth of steel and remarked, “Where you are from has different ideas about educational toys than any place I have ever been.”

Dashie replied, “It crazy where we from too, but what you expect from powerful wizard like De Writer?  Something safe?  He good to have on your side when trouble come, though.”

She turned about and exclaimed, “The portal gone!”

It was true.  Standing where it had been was a familiar cat otter hybrid with red hair.  She was wearing a well worn cloak of dark green and light seeming chain mail.  Mithril by the look of it.  Her left arm was a prosthesis, a mechanical arm of metal that moved in an utterly natural way.  Under the cloak was the scabbard of a large sword.  In her mechanical hand was a parchment that looked like a map of some sort.

She tucked away the map in a pouch at her waist and looked about, her gaze missing nothing.  Smiling, she waived!  “Hi, Grumpy!  It's me, Wind!  We met at Ponyville Fair, remember?  I am part of Marchhare's band of Rom.   I was going to meet them at Haymarket fair, up north, but this out of control portal got in the way.  I took the liberty of closing it.”

Thomas gave Wind a strangely puzzled look.  “This world with Marchhare in it?”

She shrugged, “I wouldn't be going to meet him and his band if it wasn't!  Why?”

Speaking to Dashie, Thomas said, “This important lesson, Dashie.  How many worlds in multiverse?”

She replied, “Infinite.  Everyone and thing have infinite copies, each a little different.”  Raising her eyebrows in thought, she added, “This a trick question, isn't it, Dad?”

“Sort of. You very quick.  Every rule have exception, right?”

Putting hoof to chin, she thought and then went wide eyed with realization! “Every rule have exception, even that rule!”

Thomas lifted his wings in pleasure.  “Right!  This ONLY world in whole multiverse that have Marchhare!  That is secret to navigation when go between worlds.”

Dashie blinked.  “What happen when he dies?”

“Nothing, Dashie.  Marchhare already dead.  Not die twice.”

We were all listening in amazement.  It was newcomer Wind who said, “That is sort of a relief.  That there is only one of my foster dad, I mean. I have met some of myself and it was not the best of experiences!”

She put her jaw in her metal hand and examined the whole situation carefully. Turning to me she asked, “Did you cast the portal, Grumpy?”

Scraping the grass where I was standing with one nonexistent forehoof and looking down, I muttered, “Afraid so.  Portals are not really my specialty.  I guess that I really messed this one up.”

Wind stepped over and lifted my glamor's head to look me in the eye.  “I am an expert with portals.  That one was really well done.  It would have worked perfectly if you had not cast it here.  The Everfree's Hidden Ways are what messed you up.

“Now, where were you trying to go?”

KD interjected, “We were aiming for the fairgrounds at Manehatten by the Sea.”

Wind nodded in a very take charge sort of way.  “I see.  That is about 6 or 7 hundred kilometers from here.”

Leaning casually up against the iron monster called T82, Wind asked, “Does this thing have personnel and cargo railings and how fast is it, uh, Dashie?”

Dashie brightened up as she replied, “It sure does have safety railings! I use them when I give Mia and Becky rides.  It can go as far as you want.  Out in the open, it can hit 100 kilometers an hour!  How did you know about that?”

Wind gave a delicate shudder, “I have adventured on a few worlds where similar machines were used.  I saw the passenger railings on some of them.”

Wind smiled ingratiatingly at Thomas.  “Would you be willing to let Dashie take us all on an Adventure to Manehatten by the Sea?  It will get these nice beings where they need to go and be fun for us all.  From there, I can easily send you both back home.”

Dashie had hopped out of the top of the T82 and began releasing catches and lifting up metal railings.  They clicked as they locked into place. When she was done, she lowered a set of steep metal stairs to climb up onto the back of her “educational toy.”

Thomas watched with a skeptical lift to his right eyebrow.  “I not say we go, Dashie.”

She looked him straight back in the eye as she retorted, in front of us all, “Right.  All that you have to do is tell our hosts that you won't do something simple and fun to help them.”

“That blackmail, Dashie!”

“Right. Between you and our De Writer, I learn from the best!”

He chuckled, “OK.  We do it.”

Wind swung easily up the boarding stair and called, “All aboard for the Manehatten Express!”

KD swarmed up, found the engine vents, and curled up with a “Dibs on the warm spot!”

Coalsmoke gently pushed me toward the enormous device with, “I would love to go too, Grumpy, but I have serious business to talk over with Victor. The Princesses want to set up a program for helping wounded veterans of their armies.”

Dashie started the T82 and made a big turn.  Wind guiding her, we set out for Adventure!  And Manehatten.

Technically, we took Doctor Mordenheim's path down to the Falmire cutoff and turned south towards the junction with Royal Road 315.  For some reason, the busy traffic of Ponyville's industrial district gave way before us, even when it had the right of way!  Couldn't imagine why! Surely it had nothing to do with fifty or more tonnes of steel monstrosity charging along at a “mere” twenty kilometers per hour.

We reached the Royal Road toll booth without incident.  Almost had an incident there.  The poor booth keepers were going nuts trying to sort out the proper toll.

Pages were fluttering back and forth in their toll manuals, “It ain't a cart or wagon from any section!  Darn thing is made out of iron like a fool locomotive on the railroad!”

“I know, Jeb!  Can't even classify it by team size or set up!  It runs itself!”

Wind was sitting on the edge of the turret, which Dashie had taught us was the name for that upper part with the long pipe sticking out of it, and giggling at the small uproar.  

“When Marchhare hears about this, he will split his harness, he will laugh so hard!”

One of the toll collectors looked up at her and got a beatific smile.  “You are Wind, from Marchhare's band of Rom, right?  I saw you at our fair a couple of times.”

She nodded acknowledgment, “Yes, Sir.  I am.”

He turned to his buddy and pushed the manuals shut.  “Just write Rom from Marchhare's band, toll free by Crowns Law.”

Jeb did write, though he was still trying to protest.  His superior shut him down with, “Jeb, like enough you are right.  Still, it solves OUR problem.”  He tripped the gate mechanism and the flimsy red and white painted wooden bar lifted up out of our way.

We pulled onto the Royal Road.  Besides less traffic, it was wider and better maintained than the Ponyville road we had come from.  Dashie began to open up the speed once we had clear road ahead of us.  I must say, I was impressed.  Dashie was not kidding about hitting a hundred kilometers an hour!

The T82 was fast and high enough that we had to duck shade tree branches!  A delighted KD had her sketchbook out and was rapidly drawing things from her high perspective!

Chortling, she explained, “Even as roughs, some of these will adapt to pictures for my book contract!  This is great!”

Wind steered us into one of the many waysides, making Dashie slow down and drive gently as we parked for the evening.  With assurance, she showed us where the free water and firewood were.

With a fond smile, Wind recalled, “I have camped here before, while traveling with Dad's band.  There is a small stream over in the bushes that we can get fresh fish and crawdads out of for a nice dinner.”

KD had out an easel and was busily drawing with colors.  She was doing the T82 framed by a sunset of riotous clouds and glowing light.  

She asked politely, “Wind, would you be so good as to pose there, just below the turret?  I want your metal arm just casually holding something and your sword out in your right hand, ready but not on a guard.”

Wind did pose.  It really did not take KD long at all to capture the feeling of the scene.  The way that Wind was posing, it looked for all the world like she OWNED the metal monster behind her!

Done posing, Wind stretched and began doing limbering up exercises.  With an expression of delight, and without even thinking about it, Wind began to dance and sing in a language strange to all of us.  I did recognize it from my times at the Ponyville fair, serving mainly as security for Caramel Treat's excellent food booth.  The language was Gyptian, the sort of private and held secret, nearly melodious tongue of the Rom.  I did recognize the dance.

She was treating us to the Shehan Ja Rom, their story of how the Rom came to be.  I gather that it is the oldest dance and song of the Rom.  As her dance and song finished, I remembered that the Rom did not clap for applause.  I leaned my head back and gave the loud trill that the Rom use.

Wind looked sort of startled as the others followed suit.  Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Sorry.  It was just the joy of being on the road again.”

It was KD who said it, “Don't be sorry.  It was lovely.  Is there an Equestrian translation?”

I put in, “I know that there is.  That was the famous Shehan Ja Rom.  The Rom traditionally dance and sing it in an Equestrian version to open fairs.  What I am curious about is how Wind, who is nothing like any horse or pony, came to be a Rom and of Marchhare's band at that.”

Wind sat near the fire and absently began to assemble vegetable skewers for Dashie, Thomas and I.  “I made a little mistake while adventuring. I survived it, obviously.  Mama Dragon fixed me up and sent me here, to this Equestria to finish healing and recuperate.  De Writer met me and steered me to Marchhare's band.

“Good thing, too.  One of my wounds developed a small inflammation that could have killed me.  Black Lotus, Marchhare and Hoof Dancer, his wife at the time, healed me.  Mama Dragon was wise in sending me to them for a month.  I had more than physical wounds to heal.  I joined them and learned to read, write and speak Gyptian.  Having a real caring and extended family provided the rest of the healing that I needed.  Now, I have my Freedom and I can come and go as I wish, but my Rom family is always there for me.”

I could tell that there was a lot left out but Wind cut her tale off without harming her tail by asking, “Grumpy, will you tend these skewers for me while I go catch some fish, crawdads and a bunny or two for dinner to share with KD?”

I realized at once that besides being an adventurer, Wind was quite diplomatic. She had just reminded the lot of us that KD had not eaten all day, except for snacks, and that both she and Wind were carnivores. Possibly hungry carnivores.

Dashie took off too, calling, “Wind!  Wait up!  I want see how you hunt and fish without fancy gear.”

Wind looked back, nodded and then beckoned with a finger curl.  As soon as Dashie was up to her, Wind slid into the brush without a sound.  Dashie, trying to follow was pretty quiet.

Coming to the creek bank, Wind laid flat and wriggled forward on her stomach. Carefully parting the small thin wands of the bank willows, she slid her right arm into the water, reaching back, under the cut bank.  Her face screwed up with concentration, she eased her hand up, feeling for a fish.  Smiling, she slid her hand further up and grabbed!

Rolling back and lifting, Wind flipped the good sized trout out onto the bank!  She caught the flopping creature and bent its head back to break its neck.  She snipped off a thin bank willow strand with her knife and laced it through the fish's gills and out the mouth. Loosely knotting the ends, she hung the fish up and repeated the trick three more times!

Dashie was watching with awe.  “I never even hear of fishing that way!  How you do it?”

Wind picked up her willow loop with fish and replied, “It takes practice to tickle trout but it is not really hard.  You need to be careful and gentle.  When you feel the fish with your fingers, you need to work your way up until you feel the pectoral fins, those just behind the gills.  Snap your fingers into the gills and lift it out quickly.

“Now for a nice brace of bunnies and dinner will ready to cook.”

Dashie, keeping her voice down, asked, “I see warren right over there.  How you catch them?  Some kind of trap?”

Wind, following Dashie's pointing hoof, shook her head.  “I could, and if we were going to be here longer, I would set some snares.  Since it is only dinner and breakfast, I will just pounce them.  It is easier and quicker.”

Dashie watched Wind ghost her way through the brush toward the warren. Choosing her place, she waited, a bunched spring of living huntress. Nothing moved except for the tip of her tail twitching slightly.  It was only a few minutes before a bunny hopped lazily toward one of the main holes of the warren.  Wind's pounce included a fast chop with her metal hand!  The bunny only twitched once before going still.

Wind quietly picked a different spot and soon had a second bunny!

Bearing her prey, Wind and Dashie returned to camp.  On their way, Wind asked, “Why did you want to see how I got fish and bunnies?  Most ponies really don't want to see that.”

Face flaming a little with embarrassment, Dashie replied, “I am sort of, like half dragon.  I turn into one if I need to or want to.  Thing is, I not very good at getting meat to eat!  I have to turn back to a pony and graze up dinner!  There are times that really inconvenient!”

Wind chuckled.  “I can see that!  We have one more stop before Manehatten by the Sea.  I will take you out hunting there too, OK?”

Back at camp, Wind considerately went to the other side of the T82 to clean and prepare her catch.  A lightly drooling KD went to help!  They both returned to the camp, licking their lips and smiling.  They were finishing up with some of KD's endless supply of Gator Chow.  Wind had carefully cleaned off the gem topping from hers and used it to enhance KD's snack.

As we were settling about the fire, Dashie asked, “Um, Wind, did Rom hold you prisoner some way?  You say you have your freedom.”

Wind chuckled at the misunderstanding.  “No, Dashie.  The Rom Freedom is a thing that they wear.  Here, I have mine in my bag.”

She reached into her bag at her waist and her arm seemed to go in further than was possible.  She saw us staring and snorted her amusement.  “It is called a bag of holding.  It is sort of like Marchhare's caravan. It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.  Here it it is!”

Stopping her rummaging, she pulled out a sort of headstall thing of richly tooled and dyed leather with rings and buckles that looked to be gold.  She strapped it on.

“This is a Freedom of the Rom.  They grant them only to beings that they have fully accepted as one of their own.”

“Why is call a Freedom?” Dashie wondered.

Wind lifted her chin with pride.  “The original cast off slaves that were the first Rom wore a headstall with a bit and lead ring.  They had them all their lives and were not comfortable without something on their heads.  They re made them into the Freedom by taking away anything by which they could be made to serve another.  No bit or lead ring has ruled any Rom from that day to this.”  Very carefully, Wind removed her Freedom and put it away.

KD had curled into an amazingly hard to see coil of dragon to sleep until dawn.  The rest of us were spreading blankets to sleep under the stars.

A wagon full of road repair tools and an accompanying work gang of ponies pulled into the rest area.  A couple of them strode arrogantly to our camp and demanded, “We are hungry!  What ever food you got, hoof it over now!  You don't, we gonna take sledgehammers to that there tin thingy!”

I gently prodded the almost sleeping dragon in our midst.  KD had been paying attention!  Her head rose up, eyes alight.  A curl of flame showing at each nostril and outlining her barely opened jaws completed the picture!

She serenely asked, “What?  More dinner?  I'm not sure that I could hold another whole pony.  Mind if we just sort of pack along the leftovers for lunch?”

Dashie had lifted a fully draconic head.  In the late evening's light we could not make out her color but we could easily make out the totally paling ponies!

“What! They got TWO DRAGONS!”

Dashie corrected, “No.  Two HUNGRY dragons!”

Dashie was giggling at the frantic retreat of the two jerks!  Got to admit to some chuckles of my own.  KD's sides were heaving as she re coiled herself.

Dashie got up onto all fours.  In the dying firelight, she could be seen to be a light blue color.  She flexed her wings a couple of times and strolled over to where the road crew ponies were carelessly re packing to leave.  In terror but not so terrified that they were willing to have to pay for abandoned gear!

One thoughtlessly yelled, “Road camp privacy!  Stay away, that is kingdom law!”

Wind, who was almost unnoticed at Dashie's right front leg, calmly pointed out, “You have just admitted that you knew that you were breaking kingdom law when you tried to hijack our dinner.  In your haste to correct your error, you dropped your sledgehammers.  Here!”

Wind revealed a hidden strength by casually giving the heavy hammers an underhand toss.  Both hammers overshot the wagon and hit the turf on the other side of it.

That got the attention of the road crew ponies!  One noticed, “How come you only got one arm?”

Smiling angelically, which showed off her fangs nicely, Wind reached up with her metal left arm and scritched at the base of Dashie's left dragon horn as she replied, “What, this?” Campfire light glinting from her metal arm, she said casually, “Kitten here, and I got to roughhousing last week!  She was a little too enthusiastic, that's all.”

Dashie, catching on to the game, bent her head around and gave Wind a lick at the shoulder and said contritely, “I said that I was sorry!  We just need to find a Phoenix potion so that you can regrow it. Again.”

They strolled back to our camp, Wind taking the time to re hang her cloak to sort of hide her metal arm.  Thomas, Dashie, now turned back to a pegasus, and I nibbled up Wind's excellent fruit and vegetable skewers.

Wind toasted the last of the bunnies and trout over KD's flame and shared that extra bit dinner with her.  Dashie “sneaked” over and turned back to a dragon to beg a few bites.  Grinning, they let her have some.

Sleeping out in the open, I did not have my usual nightmares of a Celestian Church mob burning my home, studies, and, failing to trap me in the house, attempting to stone me to death.  Perhaps my feelings of safety came of sleeping beside a big blue dragon?  One that liked me? Very likely.

It could not last.  For one thing, dawn comes far too soon for a cave dwelling goat like me.  The other was a light blue bundle of enthusiasm with rainbow mane and tail!  Dashie was bounding into camp!  She was waiving a forked stick with three big fat trout on it!  It was laced through their gills and out their mouths, with the forked branch acting as a stop to keep them from sliding off.

“I did it, Wind!  I tickle trout just like you show me how!”

Wind looked up from laying the morning cook fire.  Her grin showed her usually hidden fangs as she replied, “Just like I showed you?   Not sure how to point this out diplomatically but you don't have any fingers to do it with.”

Totally disingenuous, Dashie replied, “I just use my magic like you show with hand.  It not hard.  Real trick was find where fish hide.  You show me that.  They too quick to catch if just grab.  Gentle tickle is trick.”

Both KD and I were listening with rapt attention.  It was clear that Thomas and Dashie's Equestria was very different from this one.  As they talked, that became more and more apparent.

“Does your magic come from being a weredragon?”

“Only a little.  Most I learn from Dad.  He one of two most powerful beings in our Equestria.  Be honest, I think De Writer worst.  Super strong magic and wicked sense of humor.  And bored.  He three thousand years old.  Raise Princesses.”

“I see. Do other pegassi use magic where you come from?”

“Not really.  Dad figure out that there more magic in world than Earth, Pegassi, and Unicorn.  It come from his mom, Aurora, the Demon Queen.”

We all looked askance at the innocent appearing brown pegasus.  This was getting more and more interesting all the time.

Wind just nodded, took the fish and efficiently set about preparing them.  She also pulled some fresh looking apples and peaches out of the bag at her waist.  She expertly split them into proper chunks and dropped them into a pot.  She added a little fresh water and, reaching into her bag of holding, pulled out a box with many drawers and bottles, a jar with a sealed top and a small flour bag.

I was sort of amazed, watching the sheer skill with which Wind organized breakfast.  She even had water on heating in a biggish pot.  She added some from the sealed bottle.  The camp filled with the heavenly aroma of Rom black tea!

Satisfied with the progress of the fruits in the pot, she added sugar, cinnamon from one of the drawers of the box and stirred in the flour to thicken it.

It smelled heavenly, not like regular flour at all.  Wind closed the bag and returned box, bag and jar to her bag of holding.  She saw my calculating look as I watched it all happening.  

Wrinkling her nose in amusement, she explained, “Ka'chek flour.  A Rom without it?  Unheard of!”

Breakfast lived up to the lovely scents, and then some.

Wind, KD and Dashie went to the other side of the T82 to fix and eat the trout.  Coming back, Dashie and KD were finishing up gem topped Gator Chows and Wind was nibbling at one with the topping removed.

While they were eating, the rest of us cleaned up all the cookware and put out the fire.  We especially cleaned out the fruit stew pot!  Nearly came to blows over who got to lick it out!  Good sense prevailed and we took turns licking parts of it.  Then, we washed it.  We did have one thing unwashed.

We saved Wind the last mug of Rom black tea.  Smiling at our courtesy, Wind drained it and saw to proper washing of the mug.  She then caused us all a small croggle of the mind by causally putting all of the clean cookware and dishes into her bag of holding!

We all piled onto the remote controlled T82 and Dashie got us on the road again!

I noticed that Wind was wearing her Freedom and had put on a harness.  It was as richly tooled and dyed as her freedom.  They were clearly a matched set.

While KD was busy with her art, making fast sketches of the lands that we were passing through, I made bold to ask, “Why the Rom outfit?  This is not exactly a caravan.”

Wind giggled at some joke that I did not understand as she replied, “Actually, it is.  You just have to understand what caravan means. It is a loan word from the desert Kingdoms that was already in use by the time that the first Rom came here.  In their language of Gyptian, it means something slightly different from how it is used in Equestrian.

“It is just that there is a road section toll gate coming up in a little. Me being dressed this way should get us through the gate for free.”

Nodding acceptance for her reason, I turned my attention to Thomas, who was trying hard to act like an adult pegasus, rather than a colt having the time of his life.

I guessed, “You have not ridden on Dashie's T82 before, have you Thomas?”

With a twinkle in his eye, he admitted, “Never before this.  I think that she get to play with it more but need daddy supervision!”

I was chuckling at that when we all felt the iron monster slowing down. Wind, pointing ahead, made clear exactly why.  There was the toll booth with its light weight red and white bar across the road.  There was a substantial cabin in back of it for use of the toll collectors when off duty and out here, kilometers from any town.  A sign said, WELCOME TO THE MANEHATTEN ROYAL ROAD SECTION.

Wind hopped off the top of the huge left tread guard of the T82 and greeted the toll takers, “Hi!  What do you think of my new act?  Just doing a shake down run to IRON out any problems!  We are promised entertainment for the big art show.”

The utterly bemused light yellow toll collector turned to his lavender buddy and shook his head.  Pushing the toll manual shut he said, “Rom.  No accounting for 'em.  Just write Rom, toll free by Crowns Law.”

He tripped the mechanism and the toll gate rose up out of our way.  

As the mechanical behemoth passed through the gate, Wind trotted after and swung up the steel boarding stair and resumed her place on top of the turret, next to Dashie.

We had passed two of the Waysides when Wind guided Dashie into one that seemed empty.  It was nowhere near noon, yet.

“Thanks, Dashie!  There is a friend here that I want to talk to.  It would have been rude to just go by and not say Hi.”

With that, she bounced off the turret, grabbed what we had learned was called the Main Gun, and swung, letting go and landing lightly.  She sprinted over to the edge of the woods.

Sitting suddenly, she quietly reached out and laid a sparkling pebble among many others in that spot.  She said, “Hannara Na Kili.”  We could not make out the rest.  It was all in Gyptian.  It contained pauses as if she was listening to what another was saying.  The conversation was soon over.

Wind got up, smiling serenely, and returned to us.  Dashie had turned to a dragon so that she and KD could share a couple of KD's gator chows.

Wind suggested, “We could get going, now.  The Loved Dead are always with us.  Hannara and I had a nice chat.”

It was slowly percolating through the brain that I don't really have, just how different Rom are.  And I have known them, shared food with them and talked with them for years.  They have even been guests in my cave.  I have heard that expression, the Loved Dead are always with us hundreds of times.  I have heard about Laying the Stones goodness only knows how many times.  This was the first time that I had seen it.

Seeing how Wind treated it, both casually and with absolute assurance, as if the horse in that grave that the Rom call a Gateway to the Lake of Paradise, or Lake for short, was really there, made it hit me like a gut punch.

I knew, like everybeing in Equestria that the ONE THING THAT YOU DO NOT DO is desecrate any Wayside burial.  Ponies who die more than two days travel from their homes are entitled to a Wayside burial.  It is a Royal Benefice.  The graves are marked and tended as part of Wayside maintenance.

All Rom who die get a Wayside burial, that they call a Lake or going to the Lake. They lay small, inexpensive, but pretty pebbles on them to mark them.  

Desecration of a Rom Lake will bring the Princesses in person to investigate. The criminals WILL get caught.  Penalties are HARSH.  They range from twenty years at hard labor on the Royal Roads up to life.  The worst offenders, who have actually exhumed Rom remains get a punishment worse than simple death.  

They get life in the Twins Mine, digging mercury ore.  The fumes destroy the mind and wrack the body.  After the first few such grave robberies, centuries ago, no pony in their right mind will risk that.

Wind looked so quietly happy that I had to wonder whether there was any truth to the Rom belief in the Lake of Paradise.

Dashie finished her snack and changed back to a pegasus.  We all piled back onto the T82 educational toy and hit the road again.  It was not long before we came to a bridge across a stream.

It was a nice, well built and solid bridge.  It was clear that it was not made to take the sheer mass of the T82.

Dashie, following Wind's suggestions and pointing, reversed the T82 for about fifty or sixty meters.  There, she eased off the road and headed toward the stream.  She stopped short, while Wind scouted ahead, dropping down the stream bank and checking the bottom to be sure that it would hold up the tank.

Returning, she suggested to the others, “I think that you should get off and use the bridge on foot.  This will be a wild ride!”

KD pointed to the line of ten to fifteen centimeter diameter trees that lined both sides of the stream skeptically.  “Um, not to cast doubt or anything, but how do you plan to get this thing past those?”

Wind replied quietly, “I have seen machines like this, doing what they were designed to do.  I don't think that it will be a difficult problem.”

KD and Thomas both looked into Wind's eyes and saw reflected experiences that they did not want to share.  Neither did I.  Thomas just said, “T82 break trees in orchard before this.  I take Wind's advice.”

Nodding, KD followed him, saying, “Let me get to the center of the bridge and get my sketchbook out!  I don't want to miss this!”

Figuring that the center of the bridge would have the best view of the proceedings. I joined them.

That was when I noticed something completely uncanny.  As big and heavy as the T82 was, there was no sign of its driving across the grass and brush to get to the stream.  Looking back, I saw that the road was in perfect condition, too.

I pointed it out to the one here who might know something about it.  Thomas snickered happily, “Yes, know already.  You not say anything to Dashie but she very good with magic of rock and stone.  Also with magic of plants.  She fix what educational toy do as it happen most time.”

Just then, it started.  The T82 let out a loud roar and charged the treeline! There was a splintering set of crashing sounds as it struck the innocent vegetation!  The trees did not stand a chance!  They swayed, cracked and buckled, falling down into the stream as the “toy” crunched over them, tipping down steeply as it plunged into the stream!   With a huge splash, followed by the churning up of rock, gravels and white water, the machine charged the opposite bank!

As it hit, I began to appreciate the ingenuity of the linked steel belts that the T82 ran on.  There was a slope at the front before the treads hit the ground.  Now, that slope let the machine claw its way up the bank, tilting back steeply as its momentum and driving tracks forced it up, pushing the trees aside and down while it topped the bank!

Dashie drove her “toy” up to the road's edge and parked it.  She bailed out and took wing to the other side of the stream.  Landing in the water, she transformed into her dragon self!

She called, “Dad!  KD!  Will you help please!?”

She was lifting the fallen trees back into their places, on the stumps that they had broken off from.  While she was at it, I could see her magic going into the stems and branches, binding together cracks and breaks.

KD loped down and joined her.  “What can I do, Dashie?  I don't know anything about this kind of magic.”

“Just hold trunk up while I fix break and roots.”

Thomas strolled down and waded into the stream.  He started repairing cracks and breaks in the wood of the fallen trees to speed things along.

Wind and I sat on the bridge rail and watched them work.  She commented, “Ah, hard work!  I can sit and watch it for simply hours!”

It really did not take all that long for the party to restore all the trees and larger brush, leaving almost no sign that the massive T82 had charged through there.

KD said it for all of us, as we climbed back aboard the T82, “I never even heard of magic like that before!”

As she was settling into the turret and picking up the remote control, Dashie shrugged.  “All world each a little different.  Some thing go from world to world, some not.  Magic dad teach me, it work.”

Not too much later, we pulled into a Wayside to fix lunch.  Some heavy freight dray ponies were already camped there, so Dashie parked us at a site well away from them, to give them camp privacy.

They stomped over to us just as Wind was setting a large pot of water to heat.

“Whatever you gots to eat gotta be better than our road ration oats!  Hoof it over!  We even got you a bag of oats to make it a fair trade!”

Dashie quelled Wind before she could say anything.  She gestured for KD to stay hidden behind the T82.  Pretending to quail some, she replied, “We just stop for ordinary tea before go on.  Got special box tea need to be deliver.”

Thomas, sounding indignant, demanded, “No!  Dashie, that tea special!  Got to go to Castle . . .”

“They meaner than us, Dad!  I give them one packet.  Only make them a couple of gallon.”

She ducked down into the T82's interior and returned with a modest package wrapped in gold colored foil.

She made a point of securing the oats before giving them the package.  “We going be in much trouble for this.  Oats is least you can do.”

As they retreated, I noticed that Thomas had a diabolical grin.  Dashie, on the other hoof, simply hopped up on the T82 and tripped something on her control box.

The turret turned and the main gun lowered some.  It pointed the big main gun directly at the drover's camp.

All that Thomas would say was, “It De Writer tea.  Never know what happen. Best be safe!”

Wind's ears perked up!  Almost too casually, she asked, “Is that thing loaded?”

Dashie sort of shrank a bit as she replied, “Yes.  Have five case ammo.  Two explosive, three solid shot.  Five round in each case.  De Writer give them to me when I get tea.  Dad not like me have it.”

“OOPS! No time talk now!  They getting water boiling!”

KD sidled up to Wind, “You seem to know a lot about this thing.  Just how dangerous is it?”

Wind put an arm over KD's neck as she replied, “That depends on which kind of round Dashie has in the gun.  A solid shot will rip a crater about two or three meters across.  The flying dirt and stone from the fire place will make a deadly spray.

“If it is an explosive round, it will blast a hole about five or six meters across.  It will scatter fragments of the shell and any loose stone or dirt too.

“Yes, the T82 could wreck any ordinary fortress in Equestria.”

KD was chortling, “I hope that the tea is worth a shot!  Not only would I like to see that, I did not like those ponies at all.”

Thomas overheard and replied, “They not get hurt.  De Writer not crazy. Have spell on T82 it not hurt any pony or intelligent being.  Can do much property damage.  That educational part of toy.  Dashie get to fix up damage.  Study hard her magics since she get it from De Writer!”

The wayside ponies added the tea to the water boiling in their big kettle.

As they did, Thomas asked urgently, “What De Writer say about brew tea?”

Dashie's brow wrinkled, “He say make in ceramic pot only a little at a time. It good for cold morning!”

Just then the flames began in the drover's big kettle of boiling water!  They burst up in a great gout of blue and yellow fire!  We could feel the heat from where we were!  The sides of the big iron pot glowed red, then yellow!  They began to melt!

In only seconds, the sides gave way and the tea gushed out, drowning the campfire, not that it was much help!  The wood instantly went to ash! The tea soaked into the bottom of the fire place and the flames slowly subsided.

The heat had driven the drovers away from camp and wagon.  The whole side of the wagon that had been facing the tea was charred.  There were small wisps of smoke arising from it here and there.

Thomas was sitting on his rump laughing.  “Now know why fix in ceramic pot and only little at a time!  Definitely good for cold morning!”

While the drovers were frantically hitching up and hauling out of there, Thomas was thoughtfully heating water in an iron pot.  He called up, “Dashie!  Packet tea.  Small measure.  Ceramic pot I know you got in there!”

She popped up out of the hatch and gave Thomas the things that he had asked for. KD, who could breathe fire, quietly backed up.

Dashie saw it and reasured her, “With De Writer tea, follow direction important.  We see what NOT do.”

Thomas added boiling water to the small, indeed tiny, measure of tea in the pot.  Flame poured out the spout and leaked around the lid.  It soon died.  Thomas poured a small cup and smelled it.

“Have good nose.”  He sipped.  Eyes wide, he exclaimed, “This one of De Writer's best teas yet!  Try some, Dashie!”

She promptly poured a cup for herself.  “It good dad!  Thanks!”

Wind added vegetables to her pot of boiling water and soon the savory scent of vegetable stew filled the camp area.

While it was cooking, she took Dashie and they entered the woods.  It was not long before they returned with a couple of squirrels and a few bunnies.  This time, it was Dashie, turned dragon, who toasted the carnivore lunch.

After everything was cleaned up and put away, Dashie strolled over to the camp that the drovers had used.  While we watched, she actually pushed a few heat broken stones of the fireplace back to position. Somehow, they stuck.  What really got me though was her casually picking up the hardened iron from the melted pot and the original fire grilles and sort of pushed, pulled and squeezed on them to make a good, substantial grill for supporting cook pots.  It went into its place.  She carefully scouted the camp, leaving bright green grass where it had been fire browned.

A grinning KD got several quick sketches!

Wind reminded us all, “The Manehatten fairgrounds turn off is only about another hour down the road.  Shall we be gone?”

It did not actually take us an hour to get there.  We all disembarked from the T82 and did stretches.

Among the assorted goodbyes, I heard Wind ask KD, “I am not on a schedule. Mind if I tag along to see your art show?”

I personally, after wishing Thomas and Dashie well, inquired, “Would it be possible for me to get some of that De Writer tea?”

He practically pounced on me!  “How much you want?  He send a crate of it!  Got lots!”

“I could use several packages.  Say, five?”

“Dashie! Get Grumpy five packets De Writer tea!”

Her voice muffled by being inside her machine, she retorted, “FIVE?  What he want to do?  Melt T82?”

As I took the packages of potentially deadly tea, Thomas pointed out, “You know Grumpy do magic.  Pony here seem mostly think only unicorn do magic.  Grumpy use much ritual and misdirection to keep them from catch on.  I bet tea become part of that.”

My already high respect for Thomas went up another big notch.  I nodded, “Right, Thomas.  Also, once the fire burns off, it makes a really good tea. Right up there with Rom black.”

Wind told the group, “Well, I promised to send you back from here.  Is it time to go?”

Though Dashie looked a little downcast, Thomas nodded, “It been fun here, but yes.  It time to go home.”

Wind reached into her bag of holding and fished out a thing that looked like a map.  She traced out what looked like a route on it with a delicate touch of one claw.

The pale blue oval of a portal big enough to drive a T82 main battle tank through appeared.  Thomas climbed the passenger steps, up onto the back of the iron monster and our friends drove through.  The portal silently vanished.

I turned to KD.  “Which way to the Art Show?”

She nibbled a gator chow treat and pointed.  “My studio first!  Then off to the show!”

KD snickered, “You two are little!  Hop on my back and we will make better time!”

As Wind boosted me up and then leaped up herself, she said, “I could get used to this.  Traveling places without having to walk, I mean. First, the T82!  That was fun!  Now I get to ride dragonback again!”

I looked back, trying not to miss the sight of Manehatten's famously tall buildings.  Many of them were over five levels tall!  Some, in the downtown area looked to be way taller!

I commented, “Again?  You have ridden dragons before?”

“Just one, Grumpy.  My daughter Aurixa.”

That gave me real pause.  I ventured, “Adopted?”

Sort of. I found her egg out in the wilderness not that far from Mama Dragon's cottage.  I was there when Aurixa hatched.  She imprinted on me as her mother.

“When she grew up some, we used to play together a lot, including riding her.  I love flying on dragonback!

“Anyway, she grew up to where she was too big for that.  Last I saw her, Aurixa was bigger than a house.  I need to go home to Mama Dragon's and visit her.  I miss them.”

We came to a nice two level house in the outskirts of town.  The only odd thing about it from the outside was that the door was bigger than usual.  KD got out a key and let us in.

The inside WAS unusual!  The whole second level floor had been knocked out, leaving  a sort of rim around the single large room.  It was just the right height to serve as shelves for KD!  There were a few scorch marks on the walls, souvenirs of her hiccups!

There were paintings and drawings in profusion!  All was neatly organized. Drawings were in X-frames and paintings were racked or stood against the walls.

KD selected a number of drawings, including some from her sketchbooks filled up on the trip here.  Truly professional, she framed the drawings and sketches behind glass.  She had frames at the ready for her paintings.  It took her about an hour and a half for her to be ready.

She put on a harness designed to carry framed work and suggested, “Load me up!  The Manehatten Art Show is only about a kilometer from here!

We trudged through some pretty fancy streets and up a hill to a small estate.  I giggled when I saw the iron scroll work lettering over the gate.

Wind nudged me and whispered, “Pretty up front about it, aren't they, Grumpy?”

The letters said, “Snob Hill Estate.”  Under it was a banner proclaiming, “Snob Hill Art Festival!  Opening soon!”

The pony watching the gate seemed both pleased and surprised to see KD. “Krystal!  I was told that you would not be able to make this show! Let me announce you to the committee!”

She held him gently back.  “Please don't, Edward.  I am most curious as to who is saying that I would not come to this show.”

He sort of scraped the pave with a forehoof and looked down as he said, “I am not supposed to gossip about our patrons.”

KD grinned as she flipped him a silver bit.  “You said nothing!”

Expertly fielding the coin, he said, “Of course it could not possibly be Drawin Pitcher spreading rumors about you.”

KD grinned, with many teeth, as she replied, “Of course not.  Why would a fine artist like Drawin say anything negative about me?

“Oh, Edward, these fine beings are guests of mine.”

We went on in, following KD.  She went straight for the main entrance to Snob Hall.

Even before we entered, we heard, “You know, I am really sorry to say that KD not only won't be making this show, it looks like she will have to give up the Daring Do contract.”

[ask-de-writer]

HICCUPS!  : MLP Fan Fiction : A Work In Progress

As usual for works in progress, new parts and changes to older ones are done in Boldface type.

HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat <tail>

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

9612 words so far, this is a WORK IN PROGRESS

© 2019 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 11/30/18

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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Characters:

Grumpy Goat and usual cast

Thomas/and/or/Dashie Writer – remote controlled T82

Wind, the Mama Cat

Victor Mordenheim  - Mad Doctor

Krystal Dragoness “KD” Wingless dragon - artist

Fume Hood Unicorn, a bit small-Forensic Chemist

Jinni and Sassy vampire and succubus

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It was being a quiet day out on the ledge in front of my cave.  We were sitting on a bench, out in the sun, rereading Daring Do and the Secret of the Appleoosa Cave.  The stout iron sheeting that blocked the entrance to my cave was warm behind us.

The lovely Coalsmoke, a pony of perfect glossy black except for her cutie mark, was leaning over where my shoulder would be, if I still had a body, or for that matter was even technically alive.  She was admiring one of the illustrations in the book.

“I especially like these illustrations signed KD, Grumpy.  They capture the mood and action really well.”

Sitting on my other side was the finely polished skeleton of an alicorn.  He was the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, the being responsible for my present condition and now one of my few true friends.

He agreed, “Look at how well the artist has made the cave entrance look menacing.  Whoever did this is very good.”

We were distracted from our pleasant reading by a flare of flame down on the trail leading up to my cave.  Looking down the way, I was more or less expecting it to be the torches of another anti goat mob or, more specifically anti Grumpy Goat mob.  

Due to my business, I am less than popular with some ponies.  I have a thriving practice in Non Equine Magic.  Mostly, it does not appear to do anything.  Somehow, the desired, contracted for and paid in advance results just seem to happen by perfectly natural, if often bizarre means.

This time, it was not a mob.  There was a wingless blue dragon toiling up the stony path to my cave.  The next time that she flared, we could hear it.  It sounded like she was suffering from a case of hiccups! Possibly not the best ailment for a dragon to have, since she was burping a smallish fire blast with each hiccup!

When she gained the ledge, she considerately turned her head out away from us. Good thing, too!  She had two hiccups in quick succession!

She offered, “My name is Krystal Dragoness, KD for short.  I've come to you about these hiccups.  They are like to ruin me.  I am at my wit's end.  See, I am an artist.  I draw and paint.  I get going on a piece and these hiccups start up!  One of them is sure to hit my work, and, well, paper, paints, canvas and frames are all pretty flammable! I've even burned up brushes!

“Can you help me to end these hiccups?”

I nodded, making my skull, apparently floating on nothing, with its everburning candle between the horns, glowing snake like eyes and fangs bob.  “I could do that, yes.  It would not cure the basic problem, though. Hiccups usually have a natural cause from tummy and lungs not coordinating right.  If I fix this case, it could easily happen again.

“Let's dig into how this started and whether there is some underlaying cause that we can fix.”

Somewhat disappointed, Krystal nodded.  “That makes sense.  My first case of the hiccups like this happened at my one dragon show in the Sunrise Gallery in Manehatten.  You know how those things are, lots of nobs that you need to chat with and lots of small snacks and drinks.  The show itself was a pretty important one.  

“I landed a contract to illustrate the next Daring Do book.  There was some serious competition for that contract, let me tell you.  It nearly went to Drawin Pitcher.  She wasn't too happy about me getting to do the art for another Daring Do book.  This one will be my fourth.

“I had only just signed the contract when the hiccups started. The first one nearly incinerated my new contract! I was able to get out of the gallery safely when they began.  I was lucky that I didn't hurt anypony or any of my art.”  

She absently pulled a sparkly topped muffin out of a bag and began munching it.  Looking up, a bit embarrassed, she pointed out, “I really can't share dragon muffins with you.  They are topped with crushed gems and have gold or silver dust in the muffin part.  I'm afraid that they are pretty toxic to non dragons.”

Coalsmoke asked curiously, “Where did you get them?  No place in Ponyville makes them at all.  Sometimes the kitchen in Princess Twilight's castle makes up some for Spike but they never sell them.”

Krystal knit her brows in puzzlement.  “I get them out of this bag.  I always like have them when I am a little tense, like when I am concentrating on my art.  Nibbling helps me to focus.”

Just then, she let out another small belch of fire.

Whistling softly, I thought carefully about what I had heard.  “Tell me, Krystal, at the art show, did you have muffins like these?”

“Well, yes.  Any well equipped bakery can make them.  They just have to clean up carefully afterwards.  They always serve them if I am going to be showing any of my works.”

I nodded and looked over at the lovely Coalsmoke, who is always a treat for the ol' eyeballs and asked, “And where have you bought them since that art show in Manehatten?”

She paused, thinking.  “I haven't had to.  This bag always has some in it.”

The eyes that I don't really have widened just a bit.  “It always has some of those muffins in it for you?  When did you get that bag?”

She scratched behind the spines along the back of her jaw as she sorted it out.  “I first noticed it just after I left the gallery at the show where I got those first hiccups.  It's always there when I am tense.”

I glamored my invisible spirit body to look like the handsome tan, black and brown goat that I was before the tiny mistake that killed me and destroyed my original body.  Holding out a hoof, I said, “Just give me the bag, please.  I am going to try something simple with it.”

Nodding affably, Krystal handed me the bag.  I took it inside my cave and shut the iron door.  That door and my cave front were designed by a good firm of military engineers to withstand an Equestrian standard military battering ram.  

It only takes one anti-goat mob burning your house, your library, years of study, hopes for a degree and dreams of well paying work to make one take a few simple precautions.  Add the mob trying to stone your burned and battered body to death to drive home the lesson in how how to hate most ponies.  That trivial incident also motivated my simple and sensible precautions against a repeat of the problem.  Like living in a cave.  With a military fortress grade steel and iron entrance.

I turned about from sealing the door and asked Krystal if she was still feeling tense.  Digging into the bag for a muffin, she replied, “Yes, a little.  Why?”

The Litch King pointed with a foreleg of bone.  “That is why.  He just shut that bag inside his cave and it looks like you have it back.”

He turned his skeletal head to me and stated, “Grumpy, if you can, we NEED to help KD.  Her illustrations really make a Daring Do book!  Plus, we know now that a new one is in the works!  We can't let anything interfere with THAT!”

I shrugged and opened the door.  I was not even surprised that the bag was not there inside my cave any longer.  Krystal munched her muffin and shortly hiccuped another tongue of flame.

I pointed out, “That bag was behind six centimeters of forged iron.  In spite of that, it homed in on you without seeming effort.  Moments after you nibbled that muffin, you hiccuped another flame.  I suspect that there is a direct connection.  To be sure, we need to go back down into Ponyville.  I know someone in the forensic chemistry lab at the police department.  In the meantime, try not to nibble another muffin and let us see if that helps to control or stop the problem.”

On the trail back down to Ponyville, Coalsmoke and I tried to simply hold the bag instead of letting Krystal carry it.  This wise measure proved impossible.  The bag kept sneakily returning to her claws. After what happened up on the ledge in front of my cave, that was pretty much what was expected.

I have to admit that I was pleased by the simple fact that Krystal did keep her claws out of the bag.  We got down the trail and into Ponyville without incident as a result.

Instead of my usual turning towards the town hall and the Hall of Records, to record a new contract, I trotted right on, with a right turn, headed towards the Ponyville Waste Treatment Plant and Falmire Marsh, which is fenced and actually the final stage of the waste water treatment, before it goes into the river.

Coalsmoke was most interested in why we were going where we were going.  Soon enough, we came to a modest stone building close by to the treatment plant.  The sign said,

Ponyville Police Department

Forensics Laboratory

Chemistry, Physical Evidence Analysis,

Forensic Autopsy

As I pushed open the front door, I explained, “I know most of the staff here. Sometimes they will consult with me, when a case is being a pain.”

Coalsmoke chuckled, “How often is one of their nasty cases the result of one of your contracts, Grumpy?”

A smallish unicorn looked up from where he was working at a desk, apparently compiling a report.  “Not really all that often, Miss Coalsmoke. Even when it is, there is no actual evidence that can link the contract to the results.  Grumpy is often a big help in sorting out how something that we are investigating happened.  We pay him a proper consultation fee, of course.”

I introduced, “Coalsmoke, KD, I would like you to meet Fume Hood, one of the best forensic chemists in the whole kingdom.  We are lucky to have him here in Ponyville.”

KD offered, “You have some unusual friends, Grumpy.”

I chortled, “If they aren't unusual in some way, the aren't worth having as friends.”

Turning my attention to Fume Hood, I explained what our situation was in a few words and ended with, “Think that you could do us a rough analysis of one of KD's dragon muffins?”

He thought for a moment, tapping quietly on his desk top before nodding, “You say that the flame is mostly pale blue? Nearly transparent but pretty hot?”

KD shook her head in agreement.  “Right.  That is, unless I eat something with salt in it.  Then the flame is yellow.  Is that significant?”

Fume Hood said, “It MAY be.  I would like to see both your normal flame and one from your hiccups.  Please step over there.  Dragon flame can be pretty handy for some chemistry tests, so we have a small indoor flame range.”

KD stepped over to the flame range's head rest.  Fume Hood lowered the room lights and suggested, “Whenever you are ready, Miss KD.  Just give us a small shot of your regular flame.”

KD's fire blast was impressively different from a hiccup flame.  It was a bright yellow with some red to the center and flame tips that went to a bluish hue.

Fume Hood almost danced pleasure at seeing it!  Perfect!   Normal dragon fire. Now, let's see what we get with one of those muffins.  Go ahead and take one from the bag and eat it.”

He was watching the bag very closely as KD extracted the muffin. “Fascinating.  There is only one muffin in the bag until you take it out.  Then a new muffin forms almost immediately afterwards.”

KD contentedly munched her muffin.  Within moments, she stuck her head into the flame range headrest and belched a nearly pure, pale blue flame.

Fume Hood smiled in chemistly joy.  “Timing and color nail it!  You were right, Grumpy.  There is a direct connection between the muffins and KD's hiccups of flame.  The only reason that she flames at all with them is that, being a dragon, she has a natural ignition spark every time she exhales or belches.  Whatever this vapor she is belching is, it is highly flammable.”

KD's shoulders slumped.  “Does that mean that I can't have Dragon Muffins anymore?”

Fume Hood chuckled as he replied, “I suspect that you can have all that you want.  Just not these, from this bag.”

He went to pull one out.  Looking perplexed, he tried again.  “Humm . . . I can't seem get that muffin out of the bag.  KD, will you get it please?  I need to analyze it.”

Without any problem, KD extracted the muffin.  Fume Hood took it and sliced it in half.  One half he put into a beaker with a lye solution.  It began to dissolve at once.  Soon there was only some slightly coarse granules mixed with loose sparkly fragments of gemstones in the bottom of the beaker.

Fume Hood filtered out the solid residue and rinsed it with water.  Stirring it with a glass rod, he explained, “The lye took away everything but the gems in the topping and the metal dusts in the body of the muffin.  Now, lets see what happens next . . .”

He dripped some acid onto the residue.  “Gems, gold, and silver won't dissolve in this mild acid.”  

In spite of that, something was happening!  It bubbled and fumed something fierce!  Happily touching it off with a sparking wand used to light his lab burners, Fume Hood pointed dramatically!

“There! You see?  Pale blue flame!  See the white residue?  Zinc oxide.  Your muffins are adulterated with zinc!  It reacts with your stomach acids to make hydrogen and that is what, along with a bit of moisture and such that it picks up as you burp is what makes your so called hiccups!  Just don't eat any muffins from that bag and you should be fine.”

He turned to me and snickered, “OK, Grumpy.  We are even now.”

I turned to the perplexed KD and Coalsmoke.  “They needed an autopsy done last year.  The cadaver was over a week old, in August.  I glamored up a form with no sense of smell and did it for them.  Death was from blunt force trauma to the back of the skull.  Clubbed, to be crude about it.”

KD brightened up and commented, “If they get that sort of thing to deal with, it is no wonder that this place is beside the waste treatment plant!”

I agreed, “Right!  Now all that we need to do is sort out how you got a bag that can do what this one does.”

KD put a finger to her cheek as she thought.  “I do know where I got it.  It was at that Manehatten art show that I told you about.  The Dragon Treats that they serve at those things are always kept separate from the pony treats by putting them in bags.  Somepony gave me this bag with a muffin in it, just before I signed that Daring Do contract.”

Fume Hood tapped me on my nonexistent shoulder and pointed to the bottom of the bag.  There was a small trade mark in the form of a silhouette. There was a small bit of advertising too.

KD read, “Redline Party Supplies – For a party to remember for the rest of your life – If you survive!”  She also pointed out, “That silhouette looks like a laughing wolf's head.”

Fume Hood agreed, “It does look like that, doesn't it?  I know of someone who uses a silhouette like that on their business cards.  Here.”  He hoofed over a card.

The card read:

Doctor Mordenheim,

General Surgery and Prosthesis.

Everfree Edge Clinic

Practice inspected and approved by Princess Luna

I was delighted!  “I know where that is!  It was a small old castle that was supposedly built by a -” I made my voice low and shivery while making Hoof Quotes, “- 'Mad Doctor' long before Ponyville was established.  It was in ruins when the Apples came and founded the town.”

Coalsmoke smiled and said, “Right, Grumpy.  I know where it is too.  I send my workers there for general health workups and surgery when it is needed.  Doctor Mordenheim really is very good.  It is not far from here, either.  Let's go see if he can shed any light on this business.”

We left, taking the Falmire Causeway that crossed the marsh, going out towards the southeast side of the Everfree forest.  We paused by a street vendor's cart to watch the antics of her trained alligator.

Have to admit that Pinkie has done a great job of training Gummy!  I mean, he is two and a half meters of fun!  Rumor has it that she has broken him to saddle, but she was not offering rides today.

“Gator Chow, gator chow! / The gators below are hungry now! / Feed the gators down below / It is really quite a show!”

A chuckling Coalsmoke hoofed over coins and got a big bag filled with large chunks.  It said “Certified Gator Chow” on the label.  She shared the chunks around and we spent a few happy minutes tossing them to the many alligators gathered hopefully under the bridge.

There were splashes and chomping a-plenty as the gators lunged about for each new chunk of the chow.  We heard a munching from behind us.

KD, swallowing, asked Pinkie, “Where can I get some more of this stuff? It is pretty good!”

At our stares, she retorted, “What?  Dragon here, remember?  I don't eat grass!”

We left Pinkie to her vending and went on across.  It was not long before we saw the sign pointing to the forest beyond.  It said, Everfree Edge Clinic, General Medicine and Prosthetics.

Only a little way up the designated path of yellow cobbles, we came to a small but well restored castle.  I had to give this Doctor Mordenheim credit for showmanship.  This was one classy clinic.  The sign over an open door read Welcome to Everfree Edge Clinic.

Coalsmoke rang a bell labeled Ring for Service that sat on a beautiful mahogany desk in the lobby/waiting room.

We did not even get to try out the assorted seating and laying cushions.  A large, near horse sized zebra with an eye patch came out of the back. His professional smile turned to a genuine one as he laid eye on Coalsmoke.

“My dear Coalsmoke!  What may I do for you, or is it for one of your friends?”

Suddenly stopping like he'd hit one of his stone castle walls, he gave me a careful and most knowing look.  “I do fear that the goat is beyond any help of mine.”

Coalsmoke smirked just a little as she replied, “You are correct.  This is Grumpy Goat, my long standing friend, of whom I am sure that you have heard.  We are not here for him.

“This is Krystal Dragoness.  She prefers to be called KD.  Our problem is sort of related to her, but it is not medical.”

Resting his chin on one forehoof, as he sat behind the desk, Doctor Mordenheim inquired, “If the problem is not medical, then what is it?”

I held out a hoof, “KD, may I have the bag please?”

I showed him the bottom.  “Somepony named Redline is using your cutie mark on his things.  It has some interesting properties.”

Mordenheim put his face in his hooves.  “I know.  I see that KD has it.  She can't lose it either.  Whatever is in it, seems like an endless supply.  I made it, years ago.  How it got here to this world, I have no idea.”

He was sort of surprised when we all simply found seating and Coalsmoke asked casually, “So, how did you get here?  More to the point, when you arrived, did you meet an elderly blue unicorn with a white mane, tail, and beard?”

Mordenheim looked blank.  “What?  No, I never met anypony like that.”

He got a seriously uncomfortable expression as he elaborated, “I would really prefer not to go into why I wound up here.  Princess Luna knows in detail.  Suffice it to say that the events led me to wandering in the Everfree Forest.  I have no idea at all how it happened, since the Everfree is not all that big, but I was in there for over a week.  Perhaps more, I am not at all sure.  What I am sure of is that the path that I was on did not seem to double back on itself or any thing like that.  Between sun breaks in the forest canopy and the scenery, I am sure that I was not going in circles.

“I happened on the ruin of this old castle.  I might have simply passed it by but it had a small cobbled road leading to it from outside of the forest.  I followed that road and it led me to Ponyville.”  He shook his head in wonder, “It was a very different Ponyville than the one that I left.  By good fortune, I met Caramel Treat, Fangrin and Reverend Smallflower.  The rest all came from meeting them.”

I pointed out, “Fascinating as that is, it completely dodges the question of that bag and its neverending supply of adulterated Dragon Muffins.”

One of Doctor Mordenheim's ears cocked up in fascination.  “Adulterated? How?”

Coalsmoke filled in, “With lots of zinc metal dust, that's how.”

Doctor Mordenheim winced,  “Ouch!  That would make mountains of hydrogen gas!  That could cause a serious problem for a dragon!”

KD confirmed, “It sure does!  The hiccups that it causes have been near the ruin of my art.”

Suddenly you could see things clicking together in Doctor Mordenheim's mind! “KD?  Art?  Did you do the covers and illustrations for Daring Do and the Secret of the Apploosa Cave?  The Adventure of the Singing Sands?  The Nippony Diamond?”

KD nodded, clearly pleased.  “All three!  Why?”

Acting like a foal as he was going to his book shelf, Mordenheim snagged all three books and returned to his desk.  “I love your art, KD, would you please autograph these for me?”

With an impishly evil grin, displaying her big dragon chompers, KD replied, “Sure!”  She was reaching into the bag.  “Just as soon as I snack on this muffin!  Or, you make this bag harmless!”

Grinning right back, and revealing a set of fangs that would not have been out of place in a tiger shark, Mordenheim replied, hoof over heart, “You wound me!  I was going to do that anyway.  You did not need blackmail me.  It did make it more fun, though!”

KD chuckled as she said, “I would not really have done it, Doc.  It was just too much fun to pass up the chance.  So, tell us, why did you make a bag like this?”

Reassured that we did not hold his apparent past against him, he sat back comfortably and half smiled at the memory.  “Revenge.  Count Sourbottom was being a problem, objecting to some of my experi . . . projects.   He had a whole herd of foals of all ages.  One of the youngsters had a birthday party coming up.  I set up one of these for each of them!  Loaded them with the finest, sweetest candies that I could locate.  It was a near perfect revenge.”

Always interested in more ways to get back at ponykind for their mistreatment of me in the past, I asked, “How was giving his foals candy any sort of revenge?”

Suddenly, Coalsmoke put a hoof to her lips to suppress giggles.  “Don't you see it, Grumpy?  He couldn't take them away for discipline because the bags will go right back to the foals.  Worse, the endless supply of sweets could cause all sorts of health and mouth problems that the Count would have to pay for!”

Mordenheim nodded happy agreement.  “Last that I heard, Count Sourbottom was headed for bankruptcy on dental bills alone!”

Going more serious, he offered, “KD, we may be able to save the gem topping of your muffins if we are lucky.  Would you like that?”

KD replied seriously, “That would be great, if we can do it.  I really like their flavor, especially the crushed rubies.  How can we do it?”

Doctor Mordenheim picked up the bag and headed for the outside door.  Over his shoulder, he invited, “Come outside for a simple little experiment.  We can save the gems themselves for sure.  Question is whether we can save the topping that they are in or not.”

He pointed down the yellow cobble road leading to his door.  “Now, my dear, take a muffin out of the bag but don't eat it.”

Mystified, she hoofed over the muffin.  “I understand why I have to get it out, but why not eat it?  What are we going to do with it?”

With total assurance, Doctor Mordenheim replied, “You are going to eat it but in parts.  Here, let me scrape off the topping.”  Carefully he removed the topping, taking none of the muffin itself.  “Just eat the topping.  I will hold the muffin for now.”

With obvious relish, KD did.  Licking it off her claws, she asked, “What now?  I like this test!”

“We wait a bit to see if you get gas.  If you don't, the zinc is only in the muffin part.”

KD cocked her head, brow wrinkled in concentration.  “I don't feel any gas coming on.  That usually happens pretty quick when it does.”

“I see. To finish the test, eat the rest of the muffin now.”

She did. And was soon hiccuping blasts of flame.

Nodding in confirmation, he said, “Just in the muffin then.  We can definitely save the topping for you.  Would you like just this topping or would you prefer it on something?”

“As it happens, I do have something that it might go good on.”

Back inside, she produced a bag.  We all saw Mordenheim's nose dilate as he caught the scent.  His ears shot forward in interest.  Drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth!

“What is that lovely smelling stuff, KD?”

“Gator Chow.  I got it from Pinkie Pie over on the bridge.  She told me that it is made from smoked and flaked meat pressed into bite sized chunks.”

Both Coalsmoke and I were rolling on the floor, laughing!  Getting myself somewhat under control, I commented, “Those teeth of yours are real, aren't they, Doc?”

“Yes, they are.  Is it a problem?”

Coalsmoke, composing herself comfortably on a large cushion, replied, “Not for us.  It was just unexpected.  Looks like Pinkie is going to have to stock in more Gator Chow, is all.  

“This explains why Caramel has mentioned you eating there a lot but I haven't seen you, and I eat there too.  You eat in the back, in her carnivore plaza.”

“Right. Now, KD, those Gator Chow chunks are just about muffin sized.  That is about as big as the bag can handle.  It is time to disarm the bag from those bad muffins.”

He got a large, heavy book from the shelf.  Instead of consulting it, he held it at the ready.

“Now, KD, take the muffin out and move your paws away from the bag swiftly.”

As she did, he slammed the book down on top of the bag!  He held it down for around a whole minute.  Relaxing, he pronounced, the spell is reset. It can now be reloaded and set to anyone.  Just a sec.”

He went into the back and returned with salad tongs and a spreading knife. Selecting one of KD's chow chunks, he carefully and neatly spread the gem topping onto it.  Taking the tongs, he used them to insert the topped chow chunk into the bag.

“Now, KD, just reach into the bag and take out the snack.  That will reset the bag to you with a safe treat.  You also now know how to change treats any time that you want.”

Saying, “Thanks, Doc!”  KD fished out the treat and nibbled it down with gusto!

I was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes that I don't really have. Thinking it over, I pointed out, “KD, whoever set you up was at the show in Manehatten.  The way it works, that spell didn't lock onto you until you took out that first muffin.

“It may be time for a contract or a bit of detective work in Manehatten. Perhaps both.”

Thoughtfully she suggested, “There is another big art show in Manehatten in a few days.  I do have a studio there with some finished pieces that I could enter if I could get there in time.  That would give us the cover that we need for detective work if we can arrive in time.”

I suggested, “If time is a problem, I could try setting up a portal between here and the Manehatten fairgrounds.  It has been a while since I studied that but it is really pretty simple magic.”

We all trooped outside and I began the really pretty basic preparations for opening a portal spell.  I did add a whole lot of “stage dressing” rituals, circles and other misdirection.  I always do.  Better showmanship and it hides what makes it work from prying eyes, even if they are watching.

A glowing circle appeared in the air, just in front of us and barely touching the ground.  Suddenly it began to grow, becoming a huge oval. Something enormous, making a steady pulsing roar and clanking like metal was coming toward us!

First, pretty high up, came a sort of short crossways tube with a hole in it on the side facing us.  The thing continued to advance.  That funny bit was attached to a long metal tube!  Down lower, some big metal plates appeared and then between them  an enormous bridge of metal. Huge wheels of steel supported endless linked plates of more steel!

As the contraption came on out, it was revealed to be a gigantic machine of some sort!  It had sloped sides up to a heavy device on top that the long tube came out of.  That had sloped sides too, as if this thing were made to bounce catapult shots off of it!  There were some serious dents and obvious repairs that made it seem that those slopes were strictly functional!

Sticking her head up out of a hatch in the top was a pony who looked for all the world like Rainbow Dash!  Reinforcing that idea was a brown pegasus with a black mane and tail clinging to the rear of the machine and calling out loudly enough to be heard over the machine's roar!

“Dashie! Stop!  You going to smash through garden wall again!  You crush Jade's herb garden again!  You so grounded!”

Dashie retorted, “I not hit wall, dad!  Big blue hole show up.  I drive through that!  Besides, last time I drive through Jade's herb garden, I fix it better than before.  She ask me to squash it again!”

“And one more thing!  Dashie, you make me good hot tea or you so grounded you need dig up for thousand year to see daylight!”

Innocently she shot back, “If I that grounded, I make you nice tea that De Writer send for me to get you!  It his idea to get it with remote control T82 Main Battle Tank!  If I NOT grounded, I MIGHT be able to find you nice green tea that he never touch!”

The brown pegasus sat hard.  “De Writer ask you to use Remote Control T82 IN CANTERLOT for that tea?  You not so grounded as I thought.”

The one identified as Dashie noticed us from her vantage point, high up in the top part of the T82.  She picked up a small boxy thing with buttons and levers and pushed one of the buttons.  The T82's loud grumbling fell quiet.

“Um, Dad, we come through portal, I think.  You not teach me that magic yet. There ponies here and a dragon.  Come around T82 and you see.  There small castle here too.”

The brown pegasus stepped around the metal monster and courteously introduced, “I Thomas the Writer.  Miscreant who drive T82 through your portal my daughter Dashie Writer.  T82 is educational toy give her by De Writer.”

Mordenheim looked up at the behemoth of steel and remarked, “Where you are from has different ideas about educational toys than any place I have ever been.”

Dashie replied, “It crazy where we from too, but what you expect from powerful wizard like De Writer?  Something safe?  He good to have on your side when trouble come, though.”

She turned about and exclaimed, “The portal gone!”

It was true.  Standing where it had been was a familiar cat otter hybrid with red hair.  She was wearing a well worn cloak of dark green and light seeming chain mail.  Mithril by the look of it.  Her left arm was a prosthesis, a mechanical arm of metal that moved in an utterly natural way.  Under the cloak was the scabbard of a large sword.  In her mechanical hand was a parchment that looked like a map of some sort.

She tucked away the map in a pouch at her waist and looked about, her gaze missing nothing.  Smiling, she waived!  “Hi, Grumpy!  It's me, Wind!  We met at Ponyville Fair, remember?  I am part of Marchhare's band of Rom.   I was going to meet them at Haymarket fair, up north, but this out of control portal got in the way.  I took the liberty of closing it.”

Thomas gave Wind a strangely puzzled look.  “This world with Marchhare in it?”

She shrugged, “I wouldn't be going to meet him and his band if it wasn't!  Why?”

Speaking to Dashie, Thomas said, “This important lesson, Dashie.  How many worlds in multiverse?”

She replied, “Infinite.  Everyone and thing have infinite copies, each a little different.”  Raising her eyebrows in thought, she added, “This a trick question, isn't it, Dad?”

“Sort of. You very quick.  Every rule have exception, right?”

Putting hoof to chin, she thought and then went wide eyed with realization! “Every rule have exception, even that rule!”

Thomas lifted his wings in pleasure.  “Right!  This ONLY world in whole multiverse that have Marchhare!  That is secret to navigation when go between worlds.”

Dashie blinked.  “What happen when he dies?”

“Nothing, Dashie.  Marchhare already dead.  Not die twice.”

We were all listening in amazement.  It was newcomer Wind who said, “That is sort of a relief.  That there is only one of my foster dad, I mean. I have met some of myself and it was not the best of experiences!”

She put her jaw in her metal hand and examined the whole situation carefully. Turning to me she asked, “Did you cast the portal, Grumpy?”

Scraping the grass where I was standing with one nonexistent forehoof and looking down, I muttered, “Afraid so.  Portals are not really my specialty.  I guess that I really messed this one up.”

Wind stepped over and lifted my glamor's head to look me in the eye.  “I am an expert with portals.  That one was really well done.  It would have worked perfectly if you had not cast it here.  The Everfree's Hidden Ways are what messed you up.

“Now, where were you trying to go?”

KD interjected, “We were aiming for the fairgrounds at Manehatten by the Sea.”

Wind nodded in a very take charge sort of way.  “I see.  That is about 6 or 7 hundred kilometers from here.”

Leaning casually up against the iron monster called T82, Wind asked, “Does this thing have personnel and cargo railings and how fast is it, uh, Dashie?”

Dashie brightened up as she replied, “It sure does have safety railings! I use them when I give Mia and Becky rides.  It can go as far as you want.  Out in the open, it can hit 100 kilometers an hour!  How did you know about that?”

Wind gave a delicate shudder, “I have adventured on a few worlds where similar machines were used.  I saw the passenger railings on them.”

Wind smiled ingratiatingly at Thomas.  “Would you be willing to let Dashie take us all on an Adventure to Manehatten by the Sea?  It will get these nice beings where they need to go and be fun for us all.  From there, I can easily send you both back home.”

Dashie had hopped out of the top of the T82 and began releasing catches and lifting up metal railings.  They clicked as they locked into place. When she was done, she lowered a set of steep metal stairs to climb up onto the back of her “educational toy.”

Thomas watched with a skeptical lift to his right eyebrow.  “I not say we go, Dashie.”

She looked him straight back in the eye as she retorted, in front of us all, “Right.  All that you have to do is tell our hosts that you won't do something simple and fun to help them.”

“That blackmail, Dashie!”

“Right. Between you and our De Writer, I learn from the best!”

He chuckled, “OK.  We do it.”

Wind swung easily up the boarding stair and called, “All aboard for the Manehatten Express!”

KD swarmed up, found the engine vents, and curled up with a “Dibs on the warm spot!”

Coalsmoke gently pushed me toward the enormous device with, “I would love to go too, Grumpy, but I have serious business to talk over with Victor. The Princesses want to set up a program for helping wounded veterans of their armies.”

Dashie started the T82 and made a big turn.  Wind guiding her, we set out for Adventure!  And Manehatten.

Technically, we took Doctor Mordenheim's path down to the Falmire cutoff and turned south towards the junction with Royal Road 315.  For some reason, the busy traffic of Ponyville's industrial district gave way before us, even when it had the right of way!  Couldn't imagine why! Surely it had nothing to do with fifty or more tonnes of steel monstrosity charging along at a “mere” twenty kilometers per hour.

We reached the Royal Road toll booth without incident.  Almost had an incident there.  The poor booth keepers were going nuts trying to sort out the proper toll.

Pages were fluttering back and forth in their toll manuals, “It ain't a cart or wagon from any section!  Darn thing is made out of iron like a fool locomotive on the railroad!”

“I know, Jeb!  Can't even classify it by team size or set up!  It runs itself!”

Wind was sitting on the edge of the turret, which Dashie had taught us was the name for that upper part with the long pipe sticking out of it, and giggling at the small uproar.  

“When Marchhare hears about this, he will split his harness, he will laugh so hard!”

One of the toll collectors looked up at her and got a beatific smile. “You are Wind, from Marchhare's band of Rom, right?  I saw you at our fair a couple of times.”

She nodded acknowledgment, “Yes, Sir.  I am.”

He turned to his buddy and pushed the manuals shut.  “Just write Rom from Marchhare's band, toll free by Crowns Law.”

Jeb did write, though he was still trying to protest.  His superior shut him down with, “Jeb, like enough you are right.  Still, it solves OUR problem.”  He tripped the gate mechanism and the flimsy red and white painted wooden bar lifted up out of our way.

We pulled onto the Royal Road.  Besides less traffic, it was wider and better maintained than the Ponyville road we had come from.  Dashie began to open up the speed once we had clear road ahead of us.  I must say, I was impressed.  Dashie was not kidding about hitting a hundred kilometers an hour!

The T82 was fast and high enough that we had to duck shade tree branches!  A delighted KD had her sketchbook out and was rapidly drawing things from her high perspective!

Chortling, she explained, “Even as roughs, some of these will adapt to pictures for my book contract!  This is great!”

Wind steered us into one of the many waysides, making Dashie slow down and drive gently as we parked for the evening.  With assurance, she showed us where the free water and firewood were.

With a fond smile, Wind recalled, “I have camped here before, while traveling with Dad's band.  There is a small stream over in the bushes that we can get fresh fish and crawdads out of for a nice dinner.”

KD had out an easel and was busily drawing with colors.  She was doing the T82 framed by a sunset of riotous clouds and glowing light.  

She asked politely, “Wind, would you be so good as to pose there, just below the turret?  I want your metal arm just casually holding something and your sword out in your right hand, ready but not on a guard.”

Wind did pose.  It really did not take KD long at all to capture the feeling of the scene.  The way that Wind was posing, it looked for all the world like she OWNED the metal monster behind her!

Done posing, Wind stretched and began doing limbering up exercises.  With an expression of delight, and without even thinking about it, Wind began to dance and sing in a language strange to all of us.  I did recognize it from my times at the Ponyville fair, serving mainly as security for Caramel Treat's excellent food booth.  The language was Gyptian, the sort of private and held secret, nearly melodious tongue of the Rom.  I did recognize the dance.

She was treating us to the Shehan Ja Rom, their story of how the Rom came to be.  I gather that it is the oldest dance and song of the Rom.  As her dance and song finished, I remembered that the Rom did not clap for applause.  I leaned my head back and gave the loud trill that the Rom use.

Wind looked sort of startled as the others followed suit.  Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Sorry.  It was just the joy of being on the road again.”

It was KD who said it, “Don't be sorry.  It was lovely.  Is there an Equestrian translation?”

I put in, “I know that there is.  That was the famous Shehan Ja Rom.  The Rom traditionally dance and sing it in an Equestrian version to open fairs.  What I am curious about is how Wind, who is nothing like any horse or pony, came to be a Rom and of Marchhare's band at that.”

Wind sat near the fire and absently began to assemble vegetable skewers for Dashie, Thomas and I.  “I made a little mistake while adventuring. I survived it, obviously.  Mama Dragon fixed me up and sent me here, to this Equestria to finish healing and recuperate.  De Writer met me and steered me to Marchhare's band.

“Good thing, too.  One of my wounds developed a small inflammation that could have killed me.  Black Lotus, Marchhare and Hoof Dancer, his wife at the time, healed me.  Mama Dragon was wise in sending me to them for a month.  I had more than physical wounds to heal.  I joined them and learned to read, write and speak Gyptian.  Having a real caring and extended family provided the rest of the healing that I needed.  Now, I have my Freedom and I can come and go as I wish, but my Rom family is always there for me.”

I could tell that there was a lot left out but Wind cut her tale off without harming her tail by asking, “Grumpy, will you tend these skewers for me while I go catch some fish, crawdads and a bunny or two for dinner to share with KD?”

I realized at once that besides being an adventurer, Wind was quite diplomatic. She had just reminded the lot of us that KD had not eaten all day, except for snacks, and that both she and Wind were carnivores. Possibly hungry carnivores.

Dashie took off too, calling, “Wind!  Wait up!  I want see how you hunt and fish without fancy gear.”

Wind looked back, nodded and then beckoned with a finger curl.  As soon as Dashie was up to her, Wind slid into the brush without a sound.  Dashie, trying to follow was pretty quiet.

Coming to the creek bank, Wind laid flat and wriggled forward on her stomach. Carefully parting the small thin wands of the bank willows, she slid her right arm into the water, reaching back, under the cut bank.  Her face screwed up with concentration, she eased her hand up, feeling for a fish.  Smiling, she slid her hand further up and grabbed!

Rolling back and lifting, Wind flipped the good sized trout out onto the bank!  She caught the flopping creature and bent its head back to break its neck.  She snipped off a thin bank willow strand with her knife and laced it through the fish's gills and out the mouth. Loosely knotting the ends, she hung the fish up and repeated the trick three more times!

Dashie was watching with awe.  “I never even hear of fishing that way!  How you do it?”

Wind picked up her willow loop with fish and replied, “It takes practice to tickle trout but it is not really hard.  You need to be careful and gentle.  When you feel the fish with your fingers, you need to work your way up until you feel the pectoral fins, those just behind the gills.  Snap your fingers into the gills and lift it out quickly.

“Now for a nice brace of bunnies and dinner will ready to cook.”

Dashie, keeping her voice down, asked, “I see warren right over there.  How you catch them?  Some kind of trap?”

Wind, following Dashie's pointing hoof, shook her head.  “I could, and if we were going to be here longer, I would set some snares.  Since it is only dinner and breakfast, I will just pounce them.  It is easier and quicker.”

Dashie watched Wind ghost her way through the brush toward the warren. Choosing her place, she waited, a bunched spring of living huntress. Nothing moved except for the tip of her tail twitching slightly.  It was only a few minutes before a bunny hopped lazily toward one of the main holes of the warren.  Wind's pounce included a fast chop with her metal hand!  The bunny only twitched once before going still.

Wind quietly picked a different spot and soon had a second bunny!

Bearing her prey, Wind and Dashie returned to camp.  On their way, Wind asked, “Why did you want to see how I got fish and bunnies?  Most ponies really don't want to see that.”

Face flaming a little with embarrassment, Dashie replied, “I am sort of, like half dragon.  I turn into one if I need to or want to.  Thing is, I not very good at getting meat to eat!  I have to turn back to a pony and graze up dinner!  There are times that really inconvenient!”

Wind chuckled.  “I can see that!  We have one more stop before Manehatten by the Sea.  I will take you out hunting there too, OK?”

Back at camp, Wind considerately went to the other side of the T82 to clean and prepare her catch.  A lightly drooling KD went to help!  They both returned to the camp, licking their lips and smiling.  They were finishing up with some of KD's endless supply of Gator Chow.  Wind had carefully cleaned off the gem topping from hers and used it to enhance KD's snack.

As we were settling about the fire, Dashie asked, “Um, Wind, did Rom hold you prisoner some way?  You say you have your freedom.”

Wind chuckled at the misunderstanding.  “No, Dashie.  The Rom Freedom is a thing that they wear.  Here, I have mine in my bag.”

She reached into her bag at her waist and her arm seemed to go in further than was possible.  She saw us staring and snorted her amusement.  “It is called a bag of holding.  It is sort of like Marchhare's caravan. It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.  Here it it is!”

Stopping her rummaging, she pulled out a sort of headstall thing of richly tooled and dyed leather with rings and buckles that looked to be gold.  She strapped it on.

“This is a Freedom of the Rom.  They grant them only to beings that they have fully accepted as one of their own.”

“Why is call a Freedom?” Dashie wondered.

Wind lifted her chin with pride.  “The original cast off slaves that were the first Rom wore a headstall with a bit and lead ring.  They had them all their lives and were not comfortable without something on their heads.  They re made them into the Freedom by taking away anything by which they could be made to serve another.  No bit or lead ring has ruled any Rom from that day to this.”  Very carefully, Wind removed her Freedom and put it away.

KD had curled into an amazingly hard to see coil of dragon to sleep until dawn.  The rest of us were spreading blankets to sleep under the stars.

A wagon full of road repair tools and an accompanying work gang of ponies pulled into the rest area.  A couple of them strode arrogantly to our camp and demanded, “We are hungry!  What ever food you got, hoof it over now!  You don't, we gonna take sledgehammers to that there tin thingy!”

I gently prodded the almost sleeping dragon in our midst.  KD had been paying attention!  Her head rose up, eyes alight.  A curl of flame showing at each nostril and outlining her barely opened jaws completed the picture!

She serenely asked, “What?  More dinner?  I'm not sure that I could hold another whole pony.  Mind if we just sort of pack along the leftovers for lunch?”

Dashie had lifted a fully draconic head.  In the late evening's light we could not make out her color but we could easily make out the totally paling ponies!

“What! They got TWO DRAGONS!”

Dashie corrected, “No.  Two HUNGRY dragons!”

Dashie was giggling at the frantic retreat of the two jerks!  Got to admit to some chuckles of my own.  KD's sides were heaving as she re coiled herself.

Dashie got up onto all fours.  In the dying firelight, she could be seen to be a light blue color.  She flexed her wings a couple of times and strolled over to where the road crew ponies were carelessly re packing to leave.  In terror but not so terrified that they were willing to have to pay for abandoned gear!

One thoughtlessly yelled, “Road camp privacy!  Stay away, that is kingdom law!”

Wind, who was almost unnoticed at Dashie's right front leg, calmly pointed out, “You have just admitted that you knew that you were breaking kingdom law when you tried to hijack our dinner.  In your haste to correct your error, you dropped your sledgehammers.  Here!”

Wind revealed a hidden strength by casually giving the heavy hammers an underhand toss.  Both hammers overshot the wagon and hit the turf on the other side of it.

That got the attention of the road crew ponies!  One noticed, “How come you only got one arm?”

Smiling angelically, which showed off her fangs nicely, Wind reached up with her metal left arm and scritched at the base of Dashie's left dragon horn as she replied, “What, this?” Campfire light glinting from her metal arm she said casually, “Kitten here, and I got to roughhousing last week!  She was a little too enthusiastic, that's all.”

Dashie, catching on to the game, bent her head around and gave Wind a lick at the shoulder and said contritely, “I said that I was sorry!  We just need to find a Phoenix potion so that you can regrow it. Again.”

They strolled back to our camp, Wind taking the time to re hang her cloak to sort of hide her metal arm.  Thomas, Dashie, now turned back to a pegasus, and I nibbled up Wind's excellent fruit and vegetable skewers.

Wind toasted the last of the bunnies and trout over KD's flame and shared that extra bit of dinner with her.  Dashie “sneaked” over and turned back to a dragon to beg a few bites.  Grinning, they let her have some.

Sleeping out in the open, I did not have my usual nightmares of a Celestian Church mob burning my home, studies, and, failing to trap me in the house, attempting to stone me to death.  Perhaps my feelings of safety came of sleeping beside a big blue dragon?  One that liked me?  Very likely.

It could not last.  For one thing, dawn comes far too soon for a cave dwelling goat like me.  The other was a light blue bundle of enthusiasm with rainbow mane and tail!  Dashie was bounding into camp!  She was waiving a forked stick with three big fat trout on it!  It was laced through their gills and out their mouths, with the forked branch acting as a stop to keep them from sliding off.

“I did it, Wind!  I tickle trout just like you show me how!”

Wind looked up from laying the morning cook fire.  Her grin showed her usually hidden fangs as she replied, “Just like I showed you?   Not sure how to point this out diplomatically but you don't have any fingers to do it with.”

Totally disingenuous, Dashie replied, “I just use my magic like you show with hand.  It not hard.  Real trick was find where fish hide.  You show me that. They too quick to catch if just grab.  Gentle tickle is trick.”

Both KD and I were listening with rapt attention.  It was clear that Thomas and Dashie's Equestria was very different from this one.  As they talked, that became more and more apparent.

“Does your magic come from being a weredragon?”

“Only a little.  Most I learn from Dad.  He one of two most powerful beings in our Equestria.  Be honest, I think De Writer worst.  Super strong magic and wicked sense of humor.  And bored.  He three thousand years old.  Raise Princesses.”

“I see.  Do other pegassi use magic where you come from?”

“Not really.  Dad figure out that there more magic in world than Earth, Pegassi, and Unicorn.  It come from his mom, Aurora, the Demon Queen.”

We all looked askance at the innocent appearing brown pegasus.  This was getting more and more interesting all the time.

Wind just nodded, took the fish and efficiently set about preparing them. She also pulled some fresh looking apples and peaches out of the bag at her waist.  She expertly split them into proper chunks and dropped them into a pot.  She added a little fresh water and, reaching into her bag of holding, pulled out a box with many drawers and bottles, a jar with a sealed top and a small flour bag.

I was sort of amazed, watching the sheer skill with which Wind organized breakfast.  She even had water on heating in a biggish pot.  She added some from the sealed bottle.  The camp filled with the heavenly aroma of Rom black tea!

Satisfied with the progress of the fruits in the pot, she added sugar, cinnamon from one of the drawers of the box and stirred in the flour to thicken it.

It smelled heavenly, not like regular flour at all.  Wind closed the bag and returned box, bag and jar to her bag of holding.  She saw my calculating look as I watched it all happening.  

Wrinkling her nose in amusement, she explained, “Ka'chek flour.  A Rom without it?  Unheard of!”

Breakfast lived up to the lovely scents, and then some.

Wind, KD and Dashie went to the other side of the T82 to fix and eat the trout.  Coming back, Dashie and KD were finishing up gem topped Gator Chows and Wind was nibbling at one with the topping removed.

While they were eating, the rest of us cleaned up all the cookware and put out the fire.  We especially cleaned out the fruit stew pot!  Nearly came to blows over who got to lick it out!  Good sense prevailed and we took turns licking parts of it.  Then, we washed it.  We did have one thing unwashed.

We saved Wind the last mug of Rom black tea.  Smiling at our courtesy, Wind drained it and saw to proper washing of the mug.  She then caused us all a small croggle of the mind by causally putting all of the clean cookware and dishes into her bag of holding!

We all piled onto the remote controlled T82 and Dashie got us on the road again!

[ask-de-writer]

HICCUPS!  : MLP Fan Fiction : A Work In Progress

As usual for Works In Progress all new work and changes to older parts are done in BOLDFACE type.

HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat <tail>

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

12748 words so far, this is a WORK IN PROGRESS

© 2019 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 11/30/18

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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Characters:

Grumpy Goat and usual cast

Thomas/and/or/Dashie Writer – remote controlled T82

Wind, the Mama Cat

Victor Mordenheim  - Mad Doctor

Krystal Dragoness “KD” Wingless dragon - artist

Fume Hood Unicorn, a bit small-Forensic Chemist

Jinni and Sassy vampire and succubus

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It was being a quiet day out on the ledge in front of my cave.  We were sitting on a bench, out in the sun, rereading Daring Do and the Secret of the Appleoosa Cave.  The stout iron sheeting that blocked the entrance to my cave was warm behind us.

The lovely Coalsmoke, a pony of perfect glossy black except for her cutie mark, was leaning over where my shoulder would be, if I still had a body, or for that matter was even technically alive.  She was admiring one of the illustrations in the book.

“I especially like these illustrations signed KD, Grumpy.  They capture the mood and action really well.”

Sitting on my other side was the finely polished skeleton of an alicorn.  He was the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, the being responsible for my present condition and now one of my few true friends.

He agreed, “Look at how well the artist has made the cave entrance look menacing.  Whoever did this is very good.”

We were distracted from our pleasant reading by a flare of flame down on the trail leading up to my cave.  Looking down the way, I was more or less expecting it to be the torches of another anti goat mob or, more specifically anti Grumpy Goat mob.  

Due to my business, I am less than popular with some ponies.  I have a thriving practice in Non Equine Magic.  Mostly, it does not appear to do anything.  Somehow, the desired, contracted for and paid in advance results just seem to happen by perfectly natural, if often bizarre means.  Most of the time, those results are the advantage over, injury, death or ruin of some pony, paid for as mentioned, IN ADVANCE, by some other pony.

This time, it was not a mob.  There was a wingless blue dragon toiling up the stony path to my cave.  The next time that she flared, we could hear it.  It sounded like she was suffering from a case of hiccups! Possibly not the best ailment for a dragon to have, since she was burping a smallish fire blast with each hiccup!

When she gained the ledge, she considerately turned her head out away from us. Good thing, too!  She had two hiccups in quick succession!

She offered, “My name is Krystal Dragoness, KD for short.  I've come to you about these hiccups.  They are like to ruin me.  I am at my wit's end.  See, I am an artist.  I draw and paint.  I get going on a piece and these hiccups start up!  One of them is sure to hit my work, and, well, paper, paints, canvas and frames are all pretty flammable! I've even burned up brushes!

“Can you help me to end these hiccups?”

I nodded, making my skull, apparently floating on nothing, with its everburning candle between the horns, glowing snake like eyes and fangs bob.  “I could do that, yes.  It would not cure the basic problem, though. Hiccups usually have a natural cause from tummy and lungs not coordinating right.  If I fix this case, it could easily happen again.

“Let's dig into how this started and whether there is some underlaying cause that we can fix.”

Somewhat disappointed, Krystal nodded.  “That makes sense.  My first case of the hiccups like this happened at my one dragon show in the Sunrise Gallery in Manehatten.  You know how those things are, lots of nobs that you need to chat with and lots of small snacks and drinks.  The show itself was a pretty important one.  

“I landed a contract to illustrate the next Daring Do book.  There was some serious competition for that contract, let me tell you.  It nearly went to Drawin Pitcher.  She wasn't too happy about me getting to do the art for another Daring Do book.  This one will be my fourth.

“I had only just signed the contract when the hiccups started. The first one nearly incinerated my new contract! I was able to get out of the gallery safely when they began.  I was lucky that I didn't hurt anypony or any of my art.”  

She absently pulled a sparkly topped muffin out of a bag and began munching it.  Looking up, a bit embarrassed, she pointed out, “I really can't share dragon muffins with you.  They are topped with crushed gems and have gold or silver dust in the muffin part.  I'm afraid that they are pretty toxic to non dragons.”

Coalsmoke asked curiously, “Where did you get them?  No place in Ponyville makes them at all.  Sometimes the kitchen in Princess Twilight's castle makes up some for Spike but they never sell them.”

Krystal knit her brows in puzzlement.  “I get them out of this bag.  I always like have them when I am a little tense, like when I am concentrating on my art.  Nibbling helps me to focus.”

Just then, she let out another small belch of fire.

Whistling softly, I thought carefully about what I had heard.  “Tell me, Krystal, at the art show, did you have muffins like these?”

“Well, yes.  Any well equipped bakery can make them.  They just have to clean up carefully afterwards.  They always serve them if I am going to be showing any of my works.”

I nodded and looked over at the lovely Coalsmoke, who is always a treat for the ol' eyeballs and asked, “And where have you bought them since that art show in Manehatten?”

She paused, thinking.  “I haven't had to.  This bag always has some in it.”

The eyes that I don't really have widened just a bit.  “It always has some of those muffins in it for you?  When did you get that bag?”

She scratched behind the spines along the back of her jaw as she sorted it out.  “I first noticed it just after I left the gallery at the show where I got those first hiccups.  It's always there when I am tense.”

I glamored my invisible spirit body to look like the handsome tan, black and brown goat that I was before the tiny mistake that killed me and destroyed my original body.  Holding out a hoof, I said, “Just give me the bag, please.  I am going to try something simple with it.”

Nodding affably, Krystal handed me the bag.  I took it inside my cave and shut the iron door.  That door and my cave front were designed by a good firm of military engineers to withstand an Equestrian standard military battering ram.  

It only takes one anti-goat mob burning your house, your library, years of study, hopes for a degree and dreams of well paying work to make one take a few simple precautions.  Add the mob trying to stone your burned and battered body to death to drive home the lesson in how how to hate most ponies.  That trivial incident also motivated my simple and sensible precautions against a repeat of the problem.  Like living in a cave.  With a military fortress grade steel and iron entrance.

I turned about from sealing the door and asked Krystal if she was still feeling tense.  Digging into the bag for a muffin, she replied, “Yes, a little.  Why?”

The Litch King pointed with a foreleg of bone.  “That is why.  He just shut that bag inside his cave and it looks like you have it back.”

He turned his skeletal head to me and stated, “Grumpy, if you can, we NEED to help KD.  Her illustrations really make a Daring Do book!  Plus, we know now that a new one is in the works!  We can't let anything interfere with THAT!”

I shrugged and opened the door.  I was not even surprised that the bag was not there inside my cave any longer.  Krystal munched her muffin and shortly hiccuped another tongue of flame.

I pointed out, “That bag was behind six centimeters of forged iron.  In spite of that, it homed in on you without seeming effort.  Moments after you nibbled that muffin, you hiccuped another flame.  I suspect that there is a direct connection.  To be sure, we need to go back down into Ponyville.  I know someone in the forensic chemistry lab at the police department.  In the meantime, try not to nibble another muffin and let us see if that helps to control or stop the problem.”

On the trail back down to Ponyville, Coalsmoke and I tried to simply hold the bag instead of letting Krystal carry it.  This wise measure proved impossible.  The bag kept sneakily returning to her claws. After what happened up on the ledge in front of my cave, that was pretty much what was expected.

I have to admit that I was pleased by the simple fact that Krystal did keep her claws out of the bag.  We got down the trail and into Ponyville without incident as a result.

Instead of my usual turning towards the town hall and the Hall of Records, to record a new contract, I trotted right on, with a right turn, headed towards the Ponyville Waste Treatment Plant and Falmire Marsh, which is fenced and actually the final stage of the waste water treatment, before it goes into the river.

Coalsmoke was most interested in why we were going where we were going.  Soon enough, we came to a modest stone building close by to the treatment plant.  The sign said,

Ponyville Police Department

Forensics Laboratory

Chemistry, Physical Evidence Analysis,

Forensic Autopsy

As I pushed open the front door, I explained, “I know most of the staff here. Sometimes they will consult with me, when a case is being a pain.”

Coalsmoke chuckled, “How often is one of their nasty cases the result of one of your contracts, Grumpy?”

A smallish unicorn looked up from where he was working at a desk, apparently compiling a report.  “Not really all that often, Miss Coalsmoke. Even when it is, there is no actual evidence that can link the contract to the results.  Grumpy is often a big help in sorting out how something that we are investigating happened.  We pay him a proper consultation fee, of course.”

I introduced, “Coalsmoke, KD, I would like you to meet Fume Hood, one of the best forensic chemists in the whole kingdom.  We are lucky to have him here in Ponyville.”

KD offered, “You have some unusual friends, Grumpy.”

I chortled, “If they aren't unusual in some way, the aren't worth having as friends.”

Turning my attention to Fume Hood, I explained what our situation was in a few words and ended with, “Think that you could do us a rough analysis of one of KD's dragon muffins?”

He thought for a moment, tapping quietly on his desk top before nodding, “You say that the flame is mostly pale blue? Nearly transparent but pretty hot?”

KD shook her head in agreement.  “Right.  That is, unless I eat something with salt in it.  Then the flame is yellow.  Is that significant?”

Fume Hood said, “It MAY be.  I would like to see both your normal flame and one from your hiccups.  Please step over there.  Dragon flame can be pretty handy for some chemistry tests, so we have a small indoor flame range.”

KD stepped over to the flame range's head rest.  Fume Hood lowered the room lights and suggested, “Whenever you are ready, Miss KD.  Just give us a small shot of your regular flame.”

KD's fire blast was impressively different from a hiccup flame.  It was a bright yellow with some red to the center and flame tips that went to a bluish hue.

Fume Hood almost danced pleasure at seeing it!  Perfect!   Normal dragon fire. Now, let's see what we get with one of those muffins.  Go ahead and take one from the bag and eat it.”

He was watching the bag very closely as KD extracted the muffin. “Fascinating.  There is only one muffin in the bag until you take it out.  Then a new muffin forms almost immediately afterwards.”

KD contentedly munched her muffin.  Within moments, she stuck her head into the flame range headrest and belched a nearly pure, pale blue flame.

Fume Hood smiled in chemistly joy.  “Timing and color nail it!  You were right, Grumpy.  There is a direct connection between the muffins and KD's hiccups of flame.  The only reason that she flames at all with them is that, being a dragon, she has a natural ignition spark every time she exhales or belches.  Whatever this vapor she is belching is, it is highly flammable.”

KD's shoulders slumped.  “Does that mean that I can't have Dragon Muffins anymore?”

Fume Hood chuckled as he replied, “I suspect that you can have all that you want.  Just not these, from this bag.”

He went to pull one out.  Looking perplexed, he tried again.  “Humm . . . I can't seem get that muffin out of the bag.  KD, will you get it please?  I need to analyze it.”

Without any problem, KD extracted the muffin.  Fume Hood took it and sliced it in half.  One half he put into a beaker with a lye solution.  It began to dissolve at once.  Soon there was only some slightly coarse granules mixed with loose sparkly fragments of gemstones in the bottom of the beaker.

Fume Hood filtered out the solid residue and rinsed it with water.  Stirring it with a glass rod, he explained, “The lye took away everything but the gems in the topping and the metal dusts in the body of the muffin.  Now, lets see what happens next . . .”

He dripped some acid onto the residue.  “Gems, gold, and silver won't dissolve in this mild acid.”  

In spite of that, something was happening!  It bubbled and fumed something fierce!  Happily touching it off with a sparking wand used to light his lab burners, Fume Hood pointed dramatically!

“There! You see?  Pale blue flame!  See the white residue?  Zinc oxide.  Your muffins are adulterated with zinc!  It reacts with your stomach acids to make hydrogen and that is what, along with a bit of moisture and such that it picks up as you burp is what makes your so called hiccups!  Just don't eat any muffins from that bag and you should be fine.”

He turned to me and snickered, “OK, Grumpy.  We are even now.”

I turned to the perplexed KD and Coalsmoke.  “They needed an autopsy done last year.  The cadaver was over a week old, in August.  I glamored up a form with no sense of smell and did it for them.  Death was from blunt force trauma to the back of the skull.  Clubbed, to be crude about it.”

KD brightened up and commented, “If they get that sort of thing to deal with, it is no wonder that this place is beside the waste treatment plant!”

I agreed, “Right!  Now all that we need to do is sort out how you got a bag that can do what this one does.”

KD put a finger to her cheek as she thought.  “I do know where I got it.  It was at that Manehatten art show that I told you about.  The Dragon Treats that they serve at those things are always kept separate from the pony treats by putting them in bags.  Somepony gave me this bag with a muffin in it, just before I signed that Daring Do contract.”

Fume Hood tapped me on my nonexistent shoulder and pointed to the bottom of the bag.  There was a small trade mark in the form of a silhouette. There was a small bit of advertising too.

KD read, “Redline Party Supplies – For a party to remember for the rest of your life – If you survive!”  She also pointed out, “That silhouette looks like a laughing wolf's head.”

Fume Hood agreed, “It does look like that, doesn't it?  I know of someone who uses a silhouette like that on their business cards.  Here.”  He hoofed over a card.

The card read:

Doctor Mordenheim,

General Surgery and Prosthesis.

Everfree Edge Clinic

Practice inspected and approved by Princess Luna

I was delighted!  “I know where that is!  It was a small old castle that was supposedly built by a -” I made my voice low and shivery while making Hoof Quotes, “- 'Mad Doctor' long before Ponyville was established.  It was in ruins when the Apples came and founded the town.”

Coalsmoke smiled and said, “Right, Grumpy.  I know where it is too.  I send my workers there for general health workups and surgery when it is needed.  Doctor Mordenheim really is very good.  It is not far from here, either.  Let's go see if he can shed any light on this business.”

We left, taking the Falmire Causeway that crossed the marsh, going out towards the southeast side of the Everfree forest.  We paused by a street vendor's cart to watch the antics of her trained alligator.

Have to admit that Pinkie has done a great job of training Gummy!  I mean, he is two and a half meters of fun!  Rumor has it that she has broken him to saddle, but she was not offering rides today.

“Gator Chow, gator chow! / The gators below are hungry now! / Feed the gators down below / It is really quite a show!”

A chuckling Coalsmoke hoofed over coins and got a big bag filled with large chunks.  It said “Certified Gator Chow” on the label.  She shared the chunks around and we spent a few happy minutes tossing them to the many alligators gathered hopefully under the bridge.

There were splashes and chomping a-plenty as the gators lunged about for each new chunk of the chow.  We heard a munching from behind us.

KD, swallowing, asked Pinkie, “Where can I get some more of this stuff? It is pretty good!”

At our stares, she retorted, “What?  Dragon here, remember?  I don't eat grass!”

We left Pinkie to her vending and went on across.  It was not long before we saw the sign pointing to the forest beyond.  It said, Everfree Edge Clinic, General Medicine and Prosthetics.

Only a little way up the designated path of yellow cobbles, we came to a small but well restored castle.  I had to give this Doctor Mordenheim credit for showmanship.  This was one classy clinic.  The sign over an open door read Welcome to Everfree Edge Clinic.

Coalsmoke rang a bell labeled Ring for Service that sat on a beautiful mahogany desk in the lobby/waiting room.

We did not even get to try out the assorted seating and laying cushions.  A large, near horse sized zebra with an eye patch came out of the back. His professional smile turned to a genuine one as he laid eye on Coalsmoke.

“My dear Coalsmoke!  What may I do for you, or is it for one of your friends?”

Suddenly stopping like he'd hit one of his stone castle walls, he gave me a careful and most knowing look.  “I do fear that the goat is beyond any help of mine.”

Coalsmoke smirked just a little as she replied, “You are correct.  This is Grumpy Goat, my long standing friend, of whom I am sure that you have heard.  We are not here for him.

“This is Krystal Dragoness.  She prefers to be called KD.  Our problem is sort of related to her, but it is not medical.”

Resting his chin on one forehoof, as he sat behind the desk, Doctor Mordenheim inquired, “If the problem is not medical, then what is it?”

I held out a hoof, “KD, may I have the bag please?”

I showed him the bottom.  “Somepony named Redline is using your cutie mark on his things.  It has some interesting properties.”

Mordenheim put his face in his hooves.  “I know.  I see that KD has it.  She can't lose it either.  Whatever is in it, seems like an endless supply.  I made it, years ago.  How it got here to this world, I have no idea.”

He was sort of surprised when we all simply found seating and Coalsmoke asked casually, “So, how did you get here?  More to the point, when you arrived, did you meet an elderly blue unicorn with a white mane, tail, and beard?”

Mordenheim looked blank.  “What?  No, I never met anypony like that.”

He got a seriously uncomfortable expression as he elaborated, “I would really prefer not to go into why I wound up here.  Princess Luna knows in detail.  Suffice it to say that the events led me to wandering in the Everfree Forest.  I have no idea at all how it happened, since the Everfree is not all that big, but I was in there for over a week.  Perhaps more, I am not at all sure.  What I am sure of is that the path that I was on did not seem to double back on itself or any thing like that.  Between sun breaks in the forest canopy and the scenery, I am sure that I was not going in circles.

“I happened on the ruin of this old castle.  I might have simply passed it by but it had a small cobbled road leading to it from outside of the forest.  I followed that road and it led me to Ponyville.”  He shook his head in wonder, “It was a very different Ponyville than the one that I left.  By good fortune, I met Caramel Treat, Fangrin and Reverend Smallflower.  The rest all came from meeting them.”

I pointed out, “Fascinating as that is, it completely dodges the question of that bag and its neverending supply of adulterated Dragon Muffins.”

One of Doctor Mordenheim's ears cocked up in fascination.  “Adulterated? How?”

Coalsmoke filled in, “With lots of zinc metal dust, that's how.”

Doctor Mordenheim winced,  “Ouch!  That would make mountains of hydrogen gas!  That could cause a serious problem for a dragon!”

KD confirmed, “It sure does!  The hiccups that it causes have been near the ruin of my art.”

Suddenly you could see things clicking together in Doctor Mordenheim's mind! “KD?  Art?  Did you do the covers and illustrations for Daring Do and the Secret of the Apploosa Cave?  The Adventure of the Singing Sands?  The Nippony Diamond?”

KD nodded, clearly pleased.  “All three!  Why?”

Acting like a foal as he was going to his book shelf, Mordenheim snagged all three books and returned to his desk.  “I love your art, KD, would you please autograph these for me?”

With an impishly evil grin, displaying her big dragon chompers, KD replied, “Sure!”  She was reaching into the bag.  “Just as soon as I snack on this muffin!  Or, you make this bag harmless!”

Grinning right back, and revealing a set of fangs that would not have been out of place in a tiger shark, Mordenheim replied, hoof over heart, “You wound me!  I was going to do that anyway.  You did not need blackmail me.  It did make it more fun, though!”

KD chuckled as she said, “I would not really have done it, Doc.  It was just too much fun to pass up the chance.  So, tell us, why did you make a bag like this?”

Reassured that we did not hold his apparent past against him, he sat back comfortably and half smiled at the memory.  “Revenge.  Count Sourbottom was being a problem, objecting to some of my experi . . . projects.   He had a whole herd of foals of all ages.  One of the youngsters had a birthday party coming up.  I set up one of these for each of them!  Loaded them with the finest, sweetest candies that I could locate.  It was a near perfect revenge.”

Always interested in more ways to get back at ponykind for their mistreatment of me in the past, I asked, “How was giving his foals candy any sort of revenge?”

Suddenly, Coalsmoke put a hoof to her lips to suppress giggles.  “Don't you see it, Grumpy?  He couldn't take them away for discipline because the bags will go right back to the foals.  Worse, the endless supply of sweets could cause all sorts of health and mouth problems that the Count would have to pay for!”

Mordenheim nodded happy agreement.  “Last that I heard, Count Sourbottom was headed for bankruptcy on dental bills alone!”

Going more serious, he offered, “KD, we may be able to save the gem topping of your muffins if we are lucky.  Would you like that?”

KD replied seriously, “That would be great, if we can do it.  I really like their flavor, especially the crushed rubies.  How can we do it?”

Doctor Mordenheim picked up the bag and headed for the outside door.  Over his shoulder, he invited, “Come outside for a simple little experiment.  We can save the gems themselves for sure.  Question is whether we can save the topping that they are in or not.”

He pointed down the yellow cobble road leading to his door.  “Now, my dear, take a muffin out of the bag but don't eat it.”

Mystified, she hoofed over the muffin.  “I understand why I have to get it out, but why not eat it?  What are we going to do with it?”

With total assurance, Doctor Mordenheim replied, “You are going to eat it but in parts.  Here, let me scrape off the topping.”  Carefully he removed the topping, taking none of the muffin itself.  “Just eat the topping.  I will hold the muffin for now.”

With obvious relish, KD did.  Licking it off her claws, she asked, “What now?  I like this test!”

“We wait a bit to see if you get gas.  If you don't, the zinc is only in the muffin part.”

KD cocked her head, brow wrinkled in concentration.  “I don't feel any gas coming on.  That usually happens pretty quick when it does.”

“I see. To finish the test, eat the rest of the muffin now.”

She did. And was soon hiccuping blasts of flame.

Nodding in confirmation, he said, “Just in the muffin then.  We can definitely save the topping for you.  Would you like just this topping or would you prefer it on something?”

“As it happens, I do have something that it might go good on.”

Back inside, she produced a bag.  We all saw Mordenheim's nose dilate as he caught the scent.  His ears shot forward in interest.  Drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth!

“What is that lovely smelling stuff, KD?”

“Gator Chow.  I got it from Pinkie Pie over on the bridge.  She told me that it is made from smoked and flaked meat pressed into bite sized chunks.”

Both Coalsmoke and I were rolling on the floor, laughing!  Getting myself somewhat under control, I commented, “Those teeth of yours are real, aren't they, Doc?”

“Yes, they are.  Is it a problem?”

Coalsmoke, composing herself comfortably on a large cushion, replied, “Not for us.  It was just unexpected.  Looks like Pinkie is going to have to stock in more Gator Chow, is all.  

“This explains why Caramel has mentioned you eating there a lot but I haven't seen you, and I eat there too.  You eat in the back, in her carnivore plaza.”

“Right. Now, KD, those Gator Chow chunks are just about muffin sized.  That is about as big as the bag can handle.  It is time to disarm the bag from those bad muffins.”

He got a large, heavy book from the shelf.  Instead of consulting it, he held it at the ready.

“Now, KD, take the muffin out and move your paws away from the bag swiftly.”

As she did, he slammed the book down on top of the bag!  He held it down for around a whole minute.  Relaxing, he pronounced, the spell is reset. It can now be reloaded and set to anyone.  Just a sec.”

He went into the back and returned with salad tongs and a spreading knife. Selecting one of KD's chow chunks, he carefully and neatly spread the gem topping onto it.  Taking the tongs, he used them to insert the topped chow chunk into the bag.

“Now, KD, just reach into the bag and take out the snack.  That will reset the bag to you with a safe treat.  You also now know how to change treats any time that you want.”

Saying, “Thanks, Doc!”  KD fished out the treat and nibbled it down with gusto!

I was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes that I don't really have. Thinking it over, I pointed out, “KD, whoever set you up was at the show in Manehatten.  The way it works, that spell didn't lock onto you until you took out that first muffin.

“It may be time for a contract or a bit of detective work in Manehatten. Perhaps both.”

Thoughtfully she suggested, “There is another big art show in Manehatten in a few days.  I do have a studio there with some finished pieces that I could enter if I could get there in time.  That would give us the cover that we need for detective work if we can arrive in time.”

I suggested, “If time is a problem, I could try setting up a portal between here and the Manehatten fairgrounds.  It has been a while since I studied that but it is really pretty simple magic.”

We all trooped outside and I began the really pretty basic preparations for opening a portal spell.  I did add a whole lot of “stage dressing” rituals, circles and other misdirection.  I always do.  Better showmanship and it hides what makes it work from prying eyes, even if they are watching.

A glowing circle appeared in the air, just in front of us and barely touching the ground.  Suddenly it began to grow, becoming a huge oval. Something enormous, making a steady pulsing roar and clanking like metal was coming toward us!

First, pretty high up, came a sort of short crossways tube with a hole in it on the side facing us.  The thing continued to advance.  That funny bit was attached to a long metal tube!  Down lower, some big metal plates appeared and then between them  an enormous bridge of metal. Huge wheels of steel supported endless linked plates of more steel!

As the contraption came on out, it was revealed to be a gigantic machine of some sort!  It had sloped sides up to a heavy device on top that the long tube came out of.  That had sloped sides too, as if this thing were made to bounce catapult shots off of it!  There were some serious dents and obvious repairs that made it seem that those slopes were strictly functional!

Sticking her head up out of a hatch in the top was a pony who looked for all the world like Rainbow Dash!  Reinforcing that idea was a brown pegasus with a black mane and tail clinging to the rear of the machine and calling out loudly enough to be heard over the machine's roar!

“Dashie! Stop!  You going to smash through garden wall again!  You crush Jade's herb garden again!  You so grounded!”

Dashie retorted, “I not hit wall, dad!  Big blue hole show up.  I drive through that!  Besides, last time I drive through Jade's herb garden, I fix it better than before.  She ask me to squash it again!”

“And one more thing!  Dashie, you make me good hot tea or you so grounded you need dig up for thousand year to see daylight!”

Innocently she shot back, “If I that grounded, I make you nice tea that De Writer send for me to get you!  It his idea to get it with remote control T82 Main Battle Tank!  If I NOT grounded, I MIGHT be able to find you nice green tea that he never touch!”

The brown pegasus sat hard.  “De Writer ask you to use Remote Control T82 IN CANTERLOT for that tea?  You not so grounded as I thought.”

The one identified as Dashie noticed us from her vantage point, high up in the top part of the T82.  She picked up a small boxy thing with buttons and levers and pushed one of the buttons.  The T82's loud grumbling fell quiet.

“Um, Dad, we come through portal, I think.  You not teach me that magic yet. There ponies here and a dragon.  Come around T82 and you see.  There small castle here too.”

The brown pegasus stepped around the metal monster and courteously introduced, “I Thomas the Writer.  Miscreant who drive T82 through your portal my daughter Dashie Writer.  T82 is educational toy give her by De Writer.”

Mordenheim looked up at the behemoth of steel and remarked, “Where you are from has different ideas about educational toys than any place I have ever been.”

Dashie replied, “It crazy where we from too, but what you expect from powerful wizard like De Writer?  Something safe?  He good to have on your side when trouble come, though.”

She turned about and exclaimed, “The portal gone!”

It was true.  Standing where it had been was a familiar cat otter hybrid with red hair.  She was wearing a well worn cloak of dark green and light seeming chain mail.  Mithril by the look of it.  Her left arm was a prosthesis, a mechanical arm of metal that moved in an utterly natural way.  Under the cloak was the scabbard of a large sword.  In her mechanical hand was a parchment that looked like a map of some sort.

She tucked away the map in a pouch at her waist and looked about, her gaze missing nothing.  Smiling, she waived!  “Hi, Grumpy!  It's me, Wind!  We met at Ponyville Fair, remember?  I am part of Marchhare's band of Rom.   I was going to meet them at Haymarket fair, up north, but this out of control portal got in the way.  I took the liberty of closing it.”

Thomas gave Wind a strangely puzzled look.  “This world with Marchhare in it?”

She shrugged, “I wouldn't be going to meet him and his band if it wasn't!  Why?”

Speaking to Dashie, Thomas said, “This important lesson, Dashie.  How many worlds in multiverse?”

She replied, “Infinite.  Everyone and thing have infinite copies, each a little different.”  Raising her eyebrows in thought, she added, “This a trick question, isn't it, Dad?”

“Sort of. You very quick.  Every rule have exception, right?”

Putting hoof to chin, she thought and then went wide eyed with realization! “Every rule have exception, even that rule!”

Thomas lifted his wings in pleasure.  “Right!  This ONLY world in whole multiverse that have Marchhare!  That is secret to navigation when go between worlds.”

Dashie blinked.  “What happen when he dies?”

“Nothing, Dashie.  Marchhare already dead.  Not die twice.”

We were all listening in amazement.  It was newcomer Wind who said, “That is sort of a relief.  That there is only one of my foster dad, I mean. I have met some of myself and it was not the best of experiences!”

She put her jaw in her metal hand and examined the whole situation carefully. Turning to me she asked, “Did you cast the portal, Grumpy?”

Scraping the grass where I was standing with one nonexistent forehoof and looking down, I muttered, “Afraid so.  Portals are not really my specialty.  I guess that I really messed this one up.”

Wind stepped over and lifted my glamor's head to look me in the eye.  “I am an expert with portals.  That one was really well done.  It would have worked perfectly if you had not cast it here.  The Everfree's Hidden Ways are what messed you up.

“Now, where were you trying to go?”

KD interjected, “We were aiming for the fairgrounds at Manehatten by the Sea.”

Wind nodded in a very take charge sort of way.  “I see.  That is about 6 or 7 hundred kilometers from here.”

Leaning casually up against the iron monster called T82, Wind asked, “Does this thing have personnel and cargo railings and how fast is it, uh, Dashie?”

Dashie brightened up as she replied, “It sure does have safety railings! I use them when I give Mia and Becky rides.  It can go as far as you want.  Out in the open, it can hit 100 kilometers an hour!  How did you know about that?”

Wind gave a delicate shudder, “I have adventured on a few worlds where similar machines were used.  I saw the passenger railings on some of them.”

Wind smiled ingratiatingly at Thomas.  “Would you be willing to let Dashie take us all on an Adventure to Manehatten by the Sea?  It will get these nice beings where they need to go and be fun for us all.  From there, I can easily send you both back home.”

Dashie had hopped out of the top of the T82 and began releasing catches and lifting up metal railings.  They clicked as they locked into place. When she was done, she lowered a set of steep metal stairs to climb up onto the back of her “educational toy.”

Thomas watched with a skeptical lift to his right eyebrow.  “I not say we go, Dashie.”

She looked him straight back in the eye as she retorted, in front of us all, “Right.  All that you have to do is tell our hosts that you won't do something simple and fun to help them.”

“That blackmail, Dashie!”

“Right. Between you and our De Writer, I learn from the best!”

He chuckled, “OK.  We do it.”

Wind swung easily up the boarding stair and called, “All aboard for the Manehatten Express!”

KD swarmed up, found the engine vents, and curled up with a “Dibs on the warm spot!”

Coalsmoke gently pushed me toward the enormous device with, “I would love to go too, Grumpy, but I have serious business to talk over with Victor. The Princesses want to set up a program for helping wounded veterans of their armies.”

Dashie started the T82 and made a big turn.  Wind guiding her, we set out for Adventure!  And Manehatten.

Technically, we took Doctor Mordenheim's path down to the Falmire cutoff and turned south towards the junction with Royal Road 315.  For some reason, the busy traffic of Ponyville's industrial district gave way before us, even when it had the right of way!  Couldn't imagine why! Surely it had nothing to do with fifty or more tonnes of steel monstrosity charging along at a “mere” twenty kilometers per hour.

We reached the Royal Road toll booth without incident.  Almost had an incident there.  The poor booth keepers were going nuts trying to sort out the proper toll.

Pages were fluttering back and forth in their toll manuals, “It ain't a cart or wagon from any section!  Darn thing is made out of iron like a fool locomotive on the railroad!”

“I know, Jeb!  Can't even classify it by team size or set up!  It runs itself!”

Wind was sitting on the edge of the turret, which Dashie had taught us was the name for that upper part with the long pipe sticking out of it, and giggling at the small uproar.  

“When Marchhare hears about this, he will split his harness, he will laugh so hard!”

One of the toll collectors looked up at her and got a beatific smile.  “You are Wind, from Marchhare's band of Rom, right?  I saw you at our fair a couple of times.”

She nodded acknowledgment, “Yes, Sir.  I am.”

He turned to his buddy and pushed the manuals shut.  “Just write Rom from Marchhare's band, toll free by Crowns Law.”

Jeb did write, though he was still trying to protest.  His superior shut him down with, “Jeb, like enough you are right.  Still, it solves OUR problem.”  He tripped the gate mechanism and the flimsy red and white painted wooden bar lifted up out of our way.

We pulled onto the Royal Road.  Besides less traffic, it was wider and better maintained than the Ponyville road we had come from.  Dashie began to open up the speed once we had clear road ahead of us.  I must say, I was impressed.  Dashie was not kidding about hitting a hundred kilometers an hour!

The T82 was fast and high enough that we had to duck shade tree branches!  A delighted KD had her sketchbook out and was rapidly drawing things from her high perspective!

Chortling, she explained, “Even as roughs, some of these will adapt to pictures for my book contract!  This is great!”

Wind steered us into one of the many waysides, making Dashie slow down and drive gently as we parked for the evening.  With assurance, she showed us where the free water and firewood were.

With a fond smile, Wind recalled, “I have camped here before, while traveling with Dad's band.  There is a small stream over in the bushes that we can get fresh fish and crawdads out of for a nice dinner.”

KD had out an easel and was busily drawing with colors.  She was doing the T82 framed by a sunset of riotous clouds and glowing light.  

She asked politely, “Wind, would you be so good as to pose there, just below the turret?  I want your metal arm just casually holding something and your sword out in your right hand, ready but not on a guard.”

Wind did pose.  It really did not take KD long at all to capture the feeling of the scene.  The way that Wind was posing, it looked for all the world like she OWNED the metal monster behind her!

Done posing, Wind stretched and began doing limbering up exercises.  With an expression of delight, and without even thinking about it, Wind began to dance and sing in a language strange to all of us.  I did recognize it from my times at the Ponyville fair, serving mainly as security for Caramel Treat's excellent food booth.  The language was Gyptian, the sort of private and held secret, nearly melodious tongue of the Rom.  I did recognize the dance.

She was treating us to the Shehan Ja Rom, their story of how the Rom came to be.  I gather that it is the oldest dance and song of the Rom.  As her dance and song finished, I remembered that the Rom did not clap for applause.  I leaned my head back and gave the loud trill that the Rom use.

Wind looked sort of startled as the others followed suit.  Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Sorry.  It was just the joy of being on the road again.”

It was KD who said it, “Don't be sorry.  It was lovely.  Is there an Equestrian translation?”

I put in, “I know that there is.  That was the famous Shehan Ja Rom.  The Rom traditionally dance and sing it in an Equestrian version to open fairs.  What I am curious about is how Wind, who is nothing like any horse or pony, came to be a Rom and of Marchhare's band at that.”

Wind sat near the fire and absently began to assemble vegetable skewers for Dashie, Thomas and I.  “I made a little mistake while adventuring. I survived it, obviously.  Mama Dragon fixed me up and sent me here, to this Equestria to finish healing and recuperate.  De Writer met me and steered me to Marchhare's band.

“Good thing, too.  One of my wounds developed a small inflammation that could have killed me.  Black Lotus, Marchhare and Hoof Dancer, his wife at the time, healed me.  Mama Dragon was wise in sending me to them for a month.  I had more than physical wounds to heal.  I joined them and learned to read, write and speak Gyptian.  Having a real caring and extended family provided the rest of the healing that I needed.  Now, I have my Freedom and I can come and go as I wish, but my Rom family is always there for me.”

I could tell that there was a lot left out but Wind cut her tale off without harming her tail by asking, “Grumpy, will you tend these skewers for me while I go catch some fish, crawdads and a bunny or two for dinner to share with KD?”

I realized at once that besides being an adventurer, Wind was quite diplomatic. She had just reminded the lot of us that KD had not eaten all day, except for snacks, and that both she and Wind were carnivores. Possibly hungry carnivores.

Dashie took off too, calling, “Wind!  Wait up!  I want see how you hunt and fish without fancy gear.”

Wind looked back, nodded and then beckoned with a finger curl.  As soon as Dashie was up to her, Wind slid into the brush without a sound.  Dashie, trying to follow was pretty quiet.

Coming to the creek bank, Wind laid flat and wriggled forward on her stomach. Carefully parting the small thin wands of the bank willows, she slid her right arm into the water, reaching back, under the cut bank.  Her face screwed up with concentration, she eased her hand up, feeling for a fish.  Smiling, she slid her hand further up and grabbed!

Rolling back and lifting, Wind flipped the good sized trout out onto the bank!  She caught the flopping creature and bent its head back to break its neck.  She snipped off a thin bank willow strand with her knife and laced it through the fish's gills and out the mouth. Loosely knotting the ends, she hung the fish up and repeated the trick three more times!

Dashie was watching with awe.  “I never even hear of fishing that way!  How you do it?”

Wind picked up her willow loop with fish and replied, “It takes practice to tickle trout but it is not really hard.  You need to be careful and gentle.  When you feel the fish with your fingers, you need to work your way up until you feel the pectoral fins, those just behind the gills.  Snap your fingers into the gills and lift it out quickly.

“Now for a nice brace of bunnies and dinner will ready to cook.”

Dashie, keeping her voice down, asked, “I see warren right over there.  How you catch them?  Some kind of trap?”

Wind, following Dashie's pointing hoof, shook her head.  “I could, and if we were going to be here longer, I would set some snares.  Since it is only dinner and breakfast, I will just pounce them.  It is easier and quicker.”

Dashie watched Wind ghost her way through the brush toward the warren. Choosing her place, she waited, a bunched spring of living huntress. Nothing moved except for the tip of her tail twitching slightly.  It was only a few minutes before a bunny hopped lazily toward one of the main holes of the warren.  Wind's pounce included a fast chop with her metal hand!  The bunny only twitched once before going still.

Wind quietly picked a different spot and soon had a second bunny!

Bearing her prey, Wind and Dashie returned to camp.  On their way, Wind asked, “Why did you want to see how I got fish and bunnies?  Most ponies really don't want to see that.”

Face flaming a little with embarrassment, Dashie replied, “I am sort of, like half dragon.  I turn into one if I need to or want to.  Thing is, I not very good at getting meat to eat!  I have to turn back to a pony and graze up dinner!  There are times that really inconvenient!”

Wind chuckled.  “I can see that!  We have one more stop before Manehatten by the Sea.  I will take you out hunting there too, OK?”

Back at camp, Wind considerately went to the other side of the T82 to clean and prepare her catch.  A lightly drooling KD went to help!  They both returned to the camp, licking their lips and smiling.  They were finishing up with some of KD's endless supply of Gator Chow.  Wind had carefully cleaned off the gem topping from hers and used it to enhance KD's snack.

As we were settling about the fire, Dashie asked, “Um, Wind, did Rom hold you prisoner some way?  You say you have your freedom.”

Wind chuckled at the misunderstanding.  “No, Dashie.  The Rom Freedom is a thing that they wear.  Here, I have mine in my bag.”

She reached into her bag at her waist and her arm seemed to go in further than was possible.  She saw us staring and snorted her amusement.  “It is called a bag of holding.  It is sort of like Marchhare's caravan. It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.  Here it it is!”

Stopping her rummaging, she pulled out a sort of headstall thing of richly tooled and dyed leather with rings and buckles that looked to be gold.  She strapped it on.

“This is a Freedom of the Rom.  They grant them only to beings that they have fully accepted as one of their own.”

“Why is call a Freedom?” Dashie wondered.

Wind lifted her chin with pride.  “The original cast off slaves that were the first Rom wore a headstall with a bit and lead ring.  They had them all their lives and were not comfortable without something on their heads.  They re made them into the Freedom by taking away anything by which they could be made to serve another.  No bit or lead ring has ruled any Rom from that day to this.”  Very carefully, Wind removed her Freedom and put it away.

KD had curled into an amazingly hard to see coil of dragon to sleep until dawn.  The rest of us were spreading blankets to sleep under the stars.

A wagon full of road repair tools and an accompanying work gang of ponies pulled into the rest area.  A couple of them strode arrogantly to our camp and demanded, “We are hungry!  What ever food you got, hoof it over now!  You don't, we gonna take sledgehammers to that there tin thingy!”

I gently prodded the almost sleeping dragon in our midst.  KD had been paying attention!  Her head rose up, eyes alight.  A curl of flame showing at each nostril and outlining her barely opened jaws completed the picture!

She serenely asked, “What?  More dinner?  I'm not sure that I could hold another whole pony.  Mind if we just sort of pack along the leftovers for lunch?”

Dashie had lifted a fully draconic head.  In the late evening's light we could not make out her color but we could easily make out the totally paling ponies!

“What! They got TWO DRAGONS!”

Dashie corrected, “No.  Two HUNGRY dragons!”

Dashie was giggling at the frantic retreat of the two jerks!  Got to admit to some chuckles of my own.  KD's sides were heaving as she re coiled herself.

Dashie got up onto all fours.  In the dying firelight, she could be seen to be a light blue color.  She flexed her wings a couple of times and strolled over to where the road crew ponies were carelessly re packing to leave.  In terror but not so terrified that they were willing to have to pay for abandoned gear!

One thoughtlessly yelled, “Road camp privacy!  Stay away, that is kingdom law!”

Wind, who was almost unnoticed at Dashie's right front leg, calmly pointed out, “You have just admitted that you knew that you were breaking kingdom law when you tried to hijack our dinner.  In your haste to correct your error, you dropped your sledgehammers.  Here!”

Wind revealed a hidden strength by casually giving the heavy hammers an underhand toss.  Both hammers overshot the wagon and hit the turf on the other side of it.

That got the attention of the road crew ponies!  One noticed, “How come you only got one arm?”

Smiling angelically, which showed off her fangs nicely, Wind reached up with her metal left arm and scritched at the base of Dashie's left dragon horn as she replied, “What, this?” Campfire light glinting from her metal arm, she said casually, “Kitten here, and I got to roughhousing last week!  She was a little too enthusiastic, that's all.”

Dashie, catching on to the game, bent her head around and gave Wind a lick at the shoulder and said contritely, “I said that I was sorry!  We just need to find a Phoenix potion so that you can regrow it. Again.”

They strolled back to our camp, Wind taking the time to re hang her cloak to sort of hide her metal arm.  Thomas, Dashie, now turned back to a pegasus, and I nibbled up Wind's excellent fruit and vegetable skewers.

Wind toasted the last of the bunnies and trout over KD's flame and shared that extra bit dinner with her.  Dashie “sneaked” over and turned back to a dragon to beg a few bites.  Grinning, they let her have some.

Sleeping out in the open, I did not have my usual nightmares of a Celestian Church mob burning my home, studies, and, failing to trap me in the house, attempting to stone me to death.  Perhaps my feelings of safety came of sleeping beside a big blue dragon?  One that liked me? Very likely.

It could not last.  For one thing, dawn comes far too soon for a cave dwelling goat like me.  The other was a light blue bundle of enthusiasm with rainbow mane and tail!  Dashie was bounding into camp!  She was waiving a forked stick with three big fat trout on it!  It was laced through their gills and out their mouths, with the forked branch acting as a stop to keep them from sliding off.

“I did it, Wind!  I tickle trout just like you show me how!”

Wind looked up from laying the morning cook fire.  Her grin showed her usually hidden fangs as she replied, “Just like I showed you?   Not sure how to point this out diplomatically but you don't have any fingers to do it with.”

Totally disingenuous, Dashie replied, “I just use my magic like you show with hand.  It not hard.  Real trick was find where fish hide.  You show me that.  They too quick to catch if just grab.  Gentle tickle is trick.”

Both KD and I were listening with rapt attention.  It was clear that Thomas and Dashie's Equestria was very different from this one.  As they talked, that became more and more apparent.

“Does your magic come from being a weredragon?”

“Only a little.  Most I learn from Dad.  He one of two most powerful beings in our Equestria.  Be honest, I think De Writer worst.  Super strong magic and wicked sense of humor.  And bored.  He three thousand years old.  Raise Princesses.”

“I see. Do other pegassi use magic where you come from?”

“Not really.  Dad figure out that there more magic in world than Earth, Pegassi, and Unicorn.  It come from his mom, Aurora, the Demon Queen.”

We all looked askance at the innocent appearing brown pegasus.  This was getting more and more interesting all the time.

Wind just nodded, took the fish and efficiently set about preparing them.  She also pulled some fresh looking apples and peaches out of the bag at her waist.  She expertly split them into proper chunks and dropped them into a pot.  She added a little fresh water and, reaching into her bag of holding, pulled out a box with many drawers and bottles, a jar with a sealed top and a small flour bag.

I was sort of amazed, watching the sheer skill with which Wind organized breakfast.  She even had water on heating in a biggish pot.  She added some from the sealed bottle.  The camp filled with the heavenly aroma of Rom black tea!

Satisfied with the progress of the fruits in the pot, she added sugar, cinnamon from one of the drawers of the box and stirred in the flour to thicken it.

It smelled heavenly, not like regular flour at all.  Wind closed the bag and returned box, bag and jar to her bag of holding.  She saw my calculating look as I watched it all happening.  

Wrinkling her nose in amusement, she explained, “Ka'chek flour.  A Rom without it?  Unheard of!”

Breakfast lived up to the lovely scents, and then some.

Wind, KD and Dashie went to the other side of the T82 to fix and eat the trout.  Coming back, Dashie and KD were finishing up gem topped Gator Chows and Wind was nibbling at one with the topping removed.

While they were eating, the rest of us cleaned up all the cookware and put out the fire.  We especially cleaned out the fruit stew pot!  Nearly came to blows over who got to lick it out!  Good sense prevailed and we took turns licking parts of it.  Then, we washed it.  We did have one thing unwashed.

We saved Wind the last mug of Rom black tea.  Smiling at our courtesy, Wind drained it and saw to proper washing of the mug.  She then caused us all a small croggle of the mind by causally putting all of the clean cookware and dishes into her bag of holding!

We all piled onto the remote controlled T82 and Dashie got us on the road again!

I noticed that Wind was wearing her Freedom and had put on a harness.  It was as richly tooled and dyed as her freedom.  They were clearly a matched set.

While KD was busy with her art, making fast sketches of the lands that we were passing through, I made bold to ask, “Why the Rom outfit?  This is not exactly a caravan.”

Wind giggled at some joke that I did not understand as she replied, “Actually, it is.  You just have to understand what caravan means. It is a loan word from the desert Kingdoms that was already in use by the time that the first Rom came here.  In their language of Gyptian, it means something slightly different from how it is used in Equestrian.

“It is just that there is a road section toll gate coming up in a little. Me being dressed this way should get us through the gate for free.”

Nodding acceptance for her reason, I turned my attention to Thomas, who was trying hard to act like an adult pegasus, rather than a colt having the time of his life.

I guessed, “You have not ridden on Dashie's T82 before, have you Thomas?”

With a twinkle in his eye, he admitted, “Never before this.  I think that she get to play with it more but need daddy supervision!”

I was chuckling at that when we all felt the iron monster slowing down. Wind, pointing ahead, made clear exactly why.  There was the toll booth with its light weight red and white bar across the road.  There was a substantial cabin in back of it for use of the toll collectors when off duty and out here, kilometers from any town.  A sign said, WELCOME TO THE MANEHATTEN ROYAL ROAD SECTION.

Wind hopped off the top of the huge left tread guard of the T82 and greeted the toll takers, “Hi!  What do you think of my new act?  Just doing a shake down run to IRON out any problems!  We are promised entertainment for the big art show.”

The utterly bemused light yellow toll collector turned to his lavender buddy and shook his head.  Pushing the toll manual shut he said, “Rom.  No accounting for 'em.  Just write Rom, toll free by Crowns Law.”

He tripped the mechanism and the toll gate rose up out of our way.  

As the mechanical behemoth passed through the gate, Wind trotted after and swung up the steel boarding stair and resumed her place on top of the turret, next to Dashie.

We had passed two of the Waysides when Wind guided Dashie into one that seemed empty.  It was nowhere near noon, yet.

“Thanks, Dashie!  There is a friend here that I want to talk to.  It would have been rude to just go by and not say Hi.”

With that, she bounced off the turret, grabbed what we had learned was called the Main Gun, and swung, letting go and landing lightly.  She sprinted over to the edge of the woods.

Sitting suddenly, she quietly reached out and laid a sparkling pebble among many others in that spot.  She said, “Hannara Na Kili.”  We could not make out the rest.  It was all in Gyptian.  It contained pauses as if she was listening to what another was saying.  The conversation was soon over.

Wind got up, smiling serenely, and returned to us.  Dashie had turned to a dragon so that she and KD could share a couple of KD's gator chows.

Wind suggested, “We could get going, now.  The Loved Dead are always with us.  Hannara and I had a nice chat.”

It was slowly percolating through the brain that I don't really have, just how different Rom are.  And I have known them, shared food with them and talked with them for years.  They have even been guests in my cave.  I have heard that expression, the Loved Dead are always with us hundreds of times.  I have heard about Laying the Stones goodness only knows how many times.  This was the first time that I had seen it.

Seeing how Wind treated it, both casually and with absolute assurance, as if the horse in that grave that the Rom call a Gateway to the Lake of Paradise, or Lake for short, was really there, made it hit me like a gut punch.

I knew, like everybeing in Equestria that the ONE THING THAT YOU DO NOT DO is desecrate any Wayside burial.  Ponies who die more than two days travel from their homes are entitled to a Wayside burial.  It is a Royal Benefice.  The graves are marked and tended as part of Wayside maintenance.

All Rom who die get a Wayside burial, that they call a Lake or going to the Lake. They lay small, inexpensive, but pretty pebbles on them to mark them.  

Desecration of a Rom Lake will bring the Princesses in person to investigate. The criminals WILL get caught.  Penalties are HARSH.  They range from twenty years at hard labor on the Royal Roads up to life.  The worst offenders, who have actually exhumed Rom remains get a punishment worse than simple death.  

They get life in the Twins Mine, digging mercury ore.  The fumes destroy the mind and wrack the body.  After the first few such grave robberies, centuries ago, no pony in their right mind will risk that.

Wind looked so quietly happy that I had to wonder whether there was any truth to the Rom belief in the Lake of Paradise.

Dashie finished her snack and changed back to a pegasus.  We all piled back onto the T82 educational toy and hit the road again.  It was not long before we came to a bridge across a stream.

It was a nice, well built and solid bridge.  It was clear that it was not made to take the sheer mass of the T82.

Dashie, following Wind's suggestions and pointing, reversed the T82 for about fifty or sixty meters.  There, she eased off the road and headed toward the stream.  She stopped short, while Wind scouted ahead, dropping down the stream bank and checking the bottom to be sure that it would hold up the tank.

Returning, she suggested to the others, “I think that you should get off and use the bridge on foot.  This will be a wild ride!”

KD pointed to the line of ten to fifteen centimeter diameter trees that lined both sides of the stream skeptically.  “Um, not to cast doubt or anything, but how do you plan to get this thing past those?”

Wind replied quietly, “I have seen machines like this, doing what they were designed to do.  I don't think that it will be a difficult problem.”

KD and Thomas both looked into Wind's eyes and saw reflected experiences that they did not want to share.  Neither did I.  Thomas just said, “T82 break trees in orchard before this.  I take Wind's advice.”

Nodding, KD followed him, saying, “Let me get to the center of the bridge and get my sketchbook out!  I don't want to miss this!”

Figuring that the center of the bridge would have the best view of the proceedings. I joined them.

That was when I noticed something completely uncanny.  As big and heavy as the T82 was, there was no sign of its driving across the grass and brush to get to the stream.  Looking back, I saw that the road was in perfect condition, too.

I pointed it out to the one here who might know something about it.  Thomas snickered happily, “Yes, know already.  You not say anything to Dashie but she very good with magic of rock and stone.  Also with magic of plants.  She fix what educational toy do as it happen most time.”

Just then, it started.  The T82 let out a loud roar and charged the treeline! There was a splintering set of crashing sounds as it struck the innocent vegetation!  The trees did not stand a chance!  They swayed, cracked and buckled, falling down into the stream as the “toy” crunched over them, tipping down steeply as it plunged into the stream!   With a huge splash, followed by the churning up of rock, gravels and white water, the machine charged the opposite bank!

As it hit, I began to appreciate the ingenuity of the linked steel belts that the T82 ran on.  There was a slope at the front before the treads hit the ground.  Now, that slope let the machine claw its way up the bank, tilting back steeply as its momentum and driving tracks forced it up, pushing the trees aside and down while it topped the bank!

Dashie drove her “toy” up to the road's edge and parked it.  She bailed out and took wing to the other side of the stream.  Landing in the water, she transformed into her dragon self!

She called, “Dad!  KD!  Will you help please!?”

She was lifting the fallen trees back into their places, on the stumps that they had broken off from.  While she was at it, I could see her magic going into the stems and branches, binding together cracks and breaks.

KD loped down and joined her.  “What can I do, Dashie?  I don't know anything about this kind of magic.”

“Just hold trunk up while I fix break and roots.”

Thomas strolled down and waded into the stream.  He started repairing cracks and breaks in the wood of the fallen trees to speed things along.

Wind and I sat on the bridge rail and watched them work.  She commented, “Ah, hard work!  I can sit and watch it for simply hours!”

It really did not take all that long for the party to restore all the trees and larger brush, leaving almost no sign that the massive T82 had charged through there.

KD said it for all of us, as we climbed back aboard the T82, “I never even heard of magic like that before!”

As she was settling into the turret and picking up the remote control, Dashie shrugged.  “All world each a little different.  Some thing go from world to world, some not.  Magic dad teach me, it work.”

Not too much later, we pulled into a Wayside to fix lunch.  Some heavy freight dray ponies were already camped there, so Dashie parked us at a site well away from them, to give them camp privacy.

They stomped over to us just as Wind was setting a large pot of water to heat.

“Whatever you gots to eat gotta be better than our road ration oats!  Hoof it over!  We even got you a bag of oats to make it a fair trade!”

Dashie quelled Wind before she could say anything.  She gestured for KD to stay hidden behind the T82.  Pretending to quail some, she replied, “We just stop for ordinary tea before go on.  Got special box tea need to be deliver.”

Thomas, sounding indignant, demanded, “No!  Dashie, that tea special!  Got to go to Castle . . .”

“They meaner than us, Dad!  I give them one packet.  Only make them a couple of gallon.”

She ducked down into the T82's interior and returned with a modest package wrapped in gold colored foil.

She made a point of securing the oats before giving them the package.  “We going be in much trouble for this.  Oats is least you can do.”

As they retreated, I noticed that Thomas had a diabolical grin.  Dashie, on the other hoof, simply hopped up on the T82 and tripped something on her control box.

The turret turned and the main gun lowered some.  It pointed the big main gun directly at the drover's camp.

All that Thomas would say was, “It De Writer tea.  Never know what happen. Best be safe!”

Wind's ears perked up!  Almost too casually, she asked, “Is that thing loaded?”

Dashie sort of shrank a bit as she replied, “Yes.  Have five case ammo. Two explosive, three solid shot.  Five round in each case.  De Writer give them to me when I get tea.  Dad not like me have it.”

“OOPS! No time talk now!  They getting water boiling!”

KD sidled up to Wind, “You seem to know a lot about this thing.  Just how dangerous is it?”

Wind put an arm over KD's neck as she replied, “That depends on which kind of round Dashie has in the gun.  A solid shot will rip a crater about two or three meters across.  The flying dirt and stone from the fire place will make a deadly spray.

“If it is an explosive round, it will blast a hole about five or six meters across.  It will scatter fragments of the shell and any loose stone or dirt too.

“Yes, the T82 could wreck any ordinary fortress in Equestria.”

KD was chortling, “I hope that the tea is worth a shot!  Not only would I like to see that, I did not like those ponies at all.”

Thomas overheard and replied, “They not get hurt.  De Writer not crazy. Have spell on T82 it not hurt any pony or intelligent being.  Can do much property damage.  That educational part of toy.  Dashie get to fix up damage.  Study hard her magics since she get it from De Writer!”

The wayside ponies added the tea to the water boiling in their big kettle.

As they did, Thomas asked urgently, “What De Writer say about brew tea?”

Dashie's brow wrinkled, “He say make in ceramic pot only a little at a time. It good for cold morning!”

Just then the flames began in the drover's big kettle of boiling water! They burst up in a great gout of blue and yellow fire!  We could feel the heat from where we were!  The sides of the big iron pot glowed red, then yellow!  They began to melt!

In only seconds, the sides gave way and the tea gushed out, drowning the campfire, not that it was much help!  The wood instantly went to ash! The tea soaked into the bottom of the fire place and the flames slowly subsided.

The heat had driven the drovers away from camp and wagon.  The whole side of the wagon that had been facing the tea was charred.  There were small wisps of smoke arising from it here and there.

Thomas was sitting on his rump laughing.  “Now know why fix in ceramic pot and only little at a time!  Definitely good for cold morning!”

While the drovers were frantically hitching up and hauling out of there, Thomas was thoughtfully heating water in an iron pot.  He called up, “Dashie!  Packet tea.  Small measure.  Ceramic pot I know you got in there!”

She popped up out of the hatch and gave Thomas the things that he had asked for.  KD, who could breathe fire, quietly backed up.

Dashie saw it and reasured her, “With De Writer tea, follow direction important.  We see what NOT do.”

Thomas added boiling water to the small, indeed tiny, measure of tea in the pot.  Flame poured out the spout and leaked around the lid.  It soon died.  Thomas poured a small cup and smelled it.

“Have good nose.”  He sipped.  Eyes wide, he exclaimed, “This one of De Writer's best teas yet!  Try some, Dashie!”

She promptly poured a cup for herself.  “It good dad!  Thanks!”

Wind added vegetables to her pot of boiling water and soon the savory scent of vegetable stew filled the camp area.

While it was cooking, she took Dashie and they entered the woods.  It was not long before they returned with a couple of squirrels and a few bunnies.  This time, it was Dashie, turned dragon, who toasted the carnivore lunch.

After everything was cleaned up and put away, Dashie strolled over to the camp that the drovers had used.  While we watched, she actually pushed a few heat broken stones of the fireplace back to position. Somehow, they stuck.  What really got me though was her casually picking up the hardened iron from the melted pot and the original fire grilles and sort of pushed, pulled and squeezed on them to make a good, substantial grill for supporting cook pots.  It went into its place.  She carefully scouted the camp, leaving bright green grass where it had been fire browned.

A grinning KD got several quick sketches!

Wind reminded us all, “The Manehatten fairgrounds turn off is only about another hour down the road.  Shall we be gone?”

It did not actually take us an hour to get there.  We all disembarked from the T82 and did stretches.

Among the assorted goodbyes, I heard Wind ask KD, “I am not on a schedule.  Mind if I tag along to see your art show?”

I personally, after wishing Thomas and Dashie well, inquired, “Would it be possible for me to get some of that De Writer tea?”

He practically pounced on me!  “How much you want?  He send a crate of it!  Got lots!”

“I could use several packages.  Say, five?”

“Dashie! Get Grumpy five packets De Writer tea!”

Her voice muffled by being inside her machine, she retorted, “FIVE? What he want to do?  Melt T82?”

As I took the packages of potentially deadly tea, Thomas pointed out, “You know Grumpy do magic.  Pony here seem mostly think only unicorn do magic.  Grumpy use much ritual and misdirection to keep them from catch on.  I bet tea become part of that.”

My already high respect for Thomas went up another big notch.  I nodded, “Right, Thomas.  Also, once the fire burns off, it makes a really good tea.  Right up there with Rom black.”

Wind told the group, “Well, I promised to send you back from here.  Is it time to go?”

Though Dashie looked a little downcast, Thomas nodded, “It been fun here, but yes.  It time to go home.”

Wind reached into her bag of holding and fished out a thing that looked like a map.  She traced out what looked like a route on it with a delicate touch of one claw.

The pale blue oval of a portal big enough to drive a T82 main battle tank through appeared.  Thomas climbed the passenger steps, up onto the back of the iron monster and our friends drove through.  The portal silently vanished.

I turned to KD.  “Which way to the Art Show?”

She nibbled a gator chow treat and pointed.  “My studio first!  Then off to the show!”

[ask-de-writer]

HICCUPS!  : MLP Fan Fiction : A Work In Progress

As usual for Works In Progress all new work and changes to older parts are done in BOLDFACE type.

HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat <tail>

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

11623 words so far, this is a WORK IN PROGRESS

© 2019 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 11/30/18

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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Characters:

Grumpy Goat and usual cast

Thomas/and/or/Dashie Writer – remote controlled T82

Wind, the Mama Cat

Victor Mordenheim  - Mad Doctor

Krystal Dragoness “KD” Wingless dragon - artist

Fume Hood Unicorn, a bit small-Forensic Chemist

Jinni and Sassy vampire and succubus

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It was being a quiet day out on the ledge in front of my cave.  We were sitting on a bench, out in the sun, rereading Daring Do and the Secret of the Appleoosa Cave.  The stout iron sheeting that blocked the entrance to my cave was warm behind us.

The lovely Coalsmoke, a pony of perfect glossy black except for her cutie mark, was leaning over where my shoulder would be, if I still had a body, or for that matter was even technically alive.  She was admiring one of the illustrations in the book.

“I especially like these illustrations signed KD, Grumpy.  They capture the mood and action really well.”

Sitting on my other side was the finely polished skeleton of an alicorn.  He was the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, the being responsible for my present condition and now one of my few true friends.

He agreed, “Look at how well the artist has made the cave entrance look menacing.  Whoever did this is very good.”

We were distracted from our pleasant reading by a flare of flame down on the trail leading up to my cave.  Looking down the way, I was more or less expecting it to be the torches of another anti goat mob or, more specifically anti Grumpy Goat mob.  

Due to my business, I am less than popular with some ponies.  I have a thriving practice in Non Equine Magic.  Mostly, it does not appear to do anything.  Somehow, the desired, contracted for and paid in advance results just seem to happen by perfectly natural, if often bizarre means.  Most of the time, those results are the advantage over, injury, death or ruin of some pony, paid for as mentioned, IN ADVANCE, by some other pony.

This time, it was not a mob.  There was a wingless blue dragon toiling up the stony path to my cave.  The next time that she flared, we could hear it.  It sounded like she was suffering from a case of hiccups! Possibly not the best ailment for a dragon to have, since she was burping a smallish fire blast with each hiccup!

When she gained the ledge, she considerately turned her head out away from us. Good thing, too!  She had two hiccups in quick succession!

She offered, “My name is Krystal Dragoness, KD for short.  I've come to you about these hiccups.  They are like to ruin me.  I am at my wit's end.  See, I am an artist.  I draw and paint.  I get going on a piece and these hiccups start up!  One of them is sure to hit my work, and, well, paper, paints, canvas and frames are all pretty flammable! I've even burned up brushes!

“Can you help me to end these hiccups?”

I nodded, making my skull, apparently floating on nothing, with its everburning candle between the horns, glowing snake like eyes and fangs bob.  “I could do that, yes.  It would not cure the basic problem, though. Hiccups usually have a natural cause from tummy and lungs not coordinating right.  If I fix this case, it could easily happen again.

“Let's dig into how this started and whether there is some underlaying cause that we can fix.”

Somewhat disappointed, Krystal nodded.  “That makes sense.  My first case of the hiccups like this happened at my one dragon show in the Sunrise Gallery in Manehatten.  You know how those things are, lots of nobs that you need to chat with and lots of small snacks and drinks.  The show itself was a pretty important one.  

“I landed a contract to illustrate the next Daring Do book.  There was some serious competition for that contract, let me tell you.  It nearly went to Drawin Pitcher.  She wasn't too happy about me getting to do the art for another Daring Do book.  This one will be my fourth.

“I had only just signed the contract when the hiccups started. The first one nearly incinerated my new contract! I was able to get out of the gallery safely when they began.  I was lucky that I didn't hurt anypony or any of my art.”  

She absently pulled a sparkly topped muffin out of a bag and began munching it.  Looking up, a bit embarrassed, she pointed out, “I really can't share dragon muffins with you.  They are topped with crushed gems and have gold or silver dust in the muffin part.  I'm afraid that they are pretty toxic to non dragons.”

Coalsmoke asked curiously, “Where did you get them?  No place in Ponyville makes them at all.  Sometimes the kitchen in Princess Twilight's castle makes up some for Spike but they never sell them.”

Krystal knit her brows in puzzlement.  “I get them out of this bag.  I always like have them when I am a little tense, like when I am concentrating on my art.  Nibbling helps me to focus.”

Just then, she let out another small belch of fire.

Whistling softly, I thought carefully about what I had heard.  “Tell me, Krystal, at the art show, did you have muffins like these?”

“Well, yes.  Any well equipped bakery can make them.  They just have to clean up carefully afterwards.  They always serve them if I am going to be showing any of my works.”

I nodded and looked over at the lovely Coalsmoke, who is always a treat for the ol' eyeballs and asked, “And where have you bought them since that art show in Manehatten?”

She paused, thinking.  “I haven't had to.  This bag always has some in it.”

The eyes that I don't really have widened just a bit.  “It always has some of those muffins in it for you?  When did you get that bag?”

She scratched behind the spines along the back of her jaw as she sorted it out.  “I first noticed it just after I left the gallery at the show where I got those first hiccups.  It's always there when I am tense.”

I glamored my invisible spirit body to look like the handsome tan, black and brown goat that I was before the tiny mistake that killed me and destroyed my original body.  Holding out a hoof, I said, “Just give me the bag, please.  I am going to try something simple with it.”

Nodding affably, Krystal handed me the bag.  I took it inside my cave and shut the iron door.  That door and my cave front were designed by a good firm of military engineers to withstand an Equestrian standard military battering ram.  

It only takes one anti-goat mob burning your house, your library, years of study, hopes for a degree and dreams of well paying work to make one take a few simple precautions.  Add the mob trying to stone your burned and battered body to death to drive home the lesson in how how to hate most ponies.  That trivial incident also motivated my simple and sensible precautions against a repeat of the problem.  Like living in a cave.  With a military fortress grade steel and iron entrance.

I turned about from sealing the door and asked Krystal if she was still feeling tense.  Digging into the bag for a muffin, she replied, “Yes, a little.  Why?”

The Litch King pointed with a foreleg of bone.  “That is why.  He just shut that bag inside his cave and it looks like you have it back.”

He turned his skeletal head to me and stated, “Grumpy, if you can, we NEED to help KD.  Her illustrations really make a Daring Do book!  Plus, we know now that a new one is in the works!  We can't let anything interfere with THAT!”

I shrugged and opened the door.  I was not even surprised that the bag was not there inside my cave any longer.  Krystal munched her muffin and shortly hiccuped another tongue of flame.

I pointed out, “That bag was behind six centimeters of forged iron.  In spite of that, it homed in on you without seeming effort.  Moments after you nibbled that muffin, you hiccuped another flame.  I suspect that there is a direct connection.  To be sure, we need to go back down into Ponyville.  I know someone in the forensic chemistry lab at the police department.  In the meantime, try not to nibble another muffin and let us see if that helps to control or stop the problem.”

On the trail back down to Ponyville, Coalsmoke and I tried to simply hold the bag instead of letting Krystal carry it.  This wise measure proved impossible.  The bag kept sneakily returning to her claws. After what happened up on the ledge in front of my cave, that was pretty much what was expected.

I have to admit that I was pleased by the simple fact that Krystal did keep her claws out of the bag.  We got down the trail and into Ponyville without incident as a result.

Instead of my usual turning towards the town hall and the Hall of Records, to record a new contract, I trotted right on, with a right turn, headed towards the Ponyville Waste Treatment Plant and Falmire Marsh, which is fenced and actually the final stage of the waste water treatment, before it goes into the river.

Coalsmoke was most interested in why we were going where we were going.  Soon enough, we came to a modest stone building close by to the treatment plant.  The sign said,

Ponyville Police Department

Forensics Laboratory

Chemistry, Physical Evidence Analysis,

Forensic Autopsy

As I pushed open the front door, I explained, “I know most of the staff here. Sometimes they will consult with me, when a case is being a pain.”

Coalsmoke chuckled, “How often is one of their nasty cases the result of one of your contracts, Grumpy?”

A smallish unicorn looked up from where he was working at a desk, apparently compiling a report.  “Not really all that often, Miss Coalsmoke. Even when it is, there is no actual evidence that can link the contract to the results.  Grumpy is often a big help in sorting out how something that we are investigating happened.  We pay him a proper consultation fee, of course.”

I introduced, “Coalsmoke, KD, I would like you to meet Fume Hood, one of the best forensic chemists in the whole kingdom.  We are lucky to have him here in Ponyville.”

KD offered, “You have some unusual friends, Grumpy.”

I chortled, “If they aren't unusual in some way, the aren't worth having as friends.”

Turning my attention to Fume Hood, I explained what our situation was in a few words and ended with, “Think that you could do us a rough analysis of one of KD's dragon muffins?”

He thought for a moment, tapping quietly on his desk top before nodding, “You say that the flame is mostly pale blue? Nearly transparent but pretty hot?”

KD shook her head in agreement.  “Right.  That is, unless I eat something with salt in it.  Then the flame is yellow.  Is that significant?”

Fume Hood said, “It MAY be.  I would like to see both your normal flame and one from your hiccups.  Please step over there.  Dragon flame can be pretty handy for some chemistry tests, so we have a small indoor flame range.”

KD stepped over to the flame range's head rest.  Fume Hood lowered the room lights and suggested, “Whenever you are ready, Miss KD.  Just give us a small shot of your regular flame.”

KD's fire blast was impressively different from a hiccup flame.  It was a bright yellow with some red to the center and flame tips that went to a bluish hue.

Fume Hood almost danced pleasure at seeing it!  Perfect!   Normal dragon fire. Now, let's see what we get with one of those muffins.  Go ahead and take one from the bag and eat it.”

He was watching the bag very closely as KD extracted the muffin. “Fascinating.  There is only one muffin in the bag until you take it out.  Then a new muffin forms almost immediately afterwards.”

KD contentedly munched her muffin.  Within moments, she stuck her head into the flame range headrest and belched a nearly pure, pale blue flame.

Fume Hood smiled in chemistly joy.  “Timing and color nail it!  You were right, Grumpy.  There is a direct connection between the muffins and KD's hiccups of flame.  The only reason that she flames at all with them is that, being a dragon, she has a natural ignition spark every time she exhales or belches.  Whatever this vapor she is belching is, it is highly flammable.”

KD's shoulders slumped.  “Does that mean that I can't have Dragon Muffins anymore?”

Fume Hood chuckled as he replied, “I suspect that you can have all that you want.  Just not these, from this bag.”

He went to pull one out.  Looking perplexed, he tried again.  “Humm . . . I can't seem get that muffin out of the bag.  KD, will you get it please?  I need to analyze it.”

Without any problem, KD extracted the muffin.  Fume Hood took it and sliced it in half.  One half he put into a beaker with a lye solution.  It began to dissolve at once.  Soon there was only some slightly coarse granules mixed with loose sparkly fragments of gemstones in the bottom of the beaker.

Fume Hood filtered out the solid residue and rinsed it with water.  Stirring it with a glass rod, he explained, “The lye took away everything but the gems in the topping and the metal dusts in the body of the muffin.  Now, lets see what happens next . . .”

He dripped some acid onto the residue.  “Gems, gold, and silver won't dissolve in this mild acid.”  

In spite of that, something was happening!  It bubbled and fumed something fierce!  Happily touching it off with a sparking wand used to light his lab burners, Fume Hood pointed dramatically!

“There! You see?  Pale blue flame!  See the white residue?  Zinc oxide.  Your muffins are adulterated with zinc!  It reacts with your stomach acids to make hydrogen and that is what, along with a bit of moisture and such that it picks up as you burp is what makes your so called hiccups!  Just don't eat any muffins from that bag and you should be fine.”

He turned to me and snickered, “OK, Grumpy.  We are even now.”

I turned to the perplexed KD and Coalsmoke.  “They needed an autopsy done last year.  The cadaver was over a week old, in August.  I glamored up a form with no sense of smell and did it for them.  Death was from blunt force trauma to the back of the skull.  Clubbed, to be crude about it.��

KD brightened up and commented, “If they get that sort of thing to deal with, it is no wonder that this place is beside the waste treatment plant!”

I agreed, “Right!  Now all that we need to do is sort out how you got a bag that can do what this one does.”

KD put a finger to her cheek as she thought.  “I do know where I got it.  It was at that Manehatten art show that I told you about.  The Dragon Treats that they serve at those things are always kept separate from the pony treats by putting them in bags.  Somepony gave me this bag with a muffin in it, just before I signed that Daring Do contract.”

Fume Hood tapped me on my nonexistent shoulder and pointed to the bottom of the bag.  There was a small trade mark in the form of a silhouette. There was a small bit of advertising too.

KD read, “Redline Party Supplies – For a party to remember for the rest of your life – If you survive!”  She also pointed out, “That silhouette looks like a laughing wolf's head.”

Fume Hood agreed, “It does look like that, doesn't it?  I know of someone who uses a silhouette like that on their business cards.  Here.”  He hoofed over a card.

The card read:

Doctor Mordenheim,

General Surgery and Prosthesis.

Everfree Edge Clinic

Practice inspected and approved by Princess Luna

I was delighted!  “I know where that is!  It was a small old castle that was supposedly built by a -” I made my voice low and shivery while making Hoof Quotes, “- 'Mad Doctor' long before Ponyville was established.  It was in ruins when the Apples came and founded the town.”

Coalsmoke smiled and said, “Right, Grumpy.  I know where it is too.  I send my workers there for general health workups and surgery when it is needed.  Doctor Mordenheim really is very good.  It is not far from here, either.  Let's go see if he can shed any light on this business.”

We left, taking the Falmire Causeway that crossed the marsh, going out towards the southeast side of the Everfree forest.  We paused by a street vendor's cart to watch the antics of her trained alligator.

Have to admit that Pinkie has done a great job of training Gummy!  I mean, he is two and a half meters of fun!  Rumor has it that she has broken him to saddle, but she was not offering rides today.

“Gator Chow, gator chow! / The gators below are hungry now! / Feed the gators down below / It is really quite a show!”

A chuckling Coalsmoke hoofed over coins and got a big bag filled with large chunks.  It said “Certified Gator Chow” on the label.  She shared the chunks around and we spent a few happy minutes tossing them to the many alligators gathered hopefully under the bridge.

There were splashes and chomping a-plenty as the gators lunged about for each new chunk of the chow.  We heard a munching from behind us.

KD, swallowing, asked Pinkie, “Where can I get some more of this stuff? It is pretty good!”

At our stares, she retorted, “What?  Dragon here, remember?  I don't eat grass!”

We left Pinkie to her vending and went on across.  It was not long before we saw the sign pointing to the forest beyond.  It said, Everfree Edge Clinic, General Medicine and Prosthetics.

Only a little way up the designated path of yellow cobbles, we came to a small but well restored castle.  I had to give this Doctor Mordenheim credit for showmanship.  This was one classy clinic.  The sign over an open door read Welcome to Everfree Edge Clinic.

Coalsmoke rang a bell labeled Ring for Service that sat on a beautiful mahogany desk in the lobby/waiting room.

We did not even get to try out the assorted seating and laying cushions.  A large, near horse sized zebra with an eye patch came out of the back. His professional smile turned to a genuine one as he laid eye on Coalsmoke.

“My dear Coalsmoke!  What may I do for you, or is it for one of your friends?”

Suddenly stopping like he'd hit one of his stone castle walls, he gave me a careful and most knowing look.  “I do fear that the goat is beyond any help of mine.”

Coalsmoke smirked just a little as she replied, “You are correct.  This is Grumpy Goat, my long standing friend, of whom I am sure that you have heard.  We are not here for him.

“This is Krystal Dragoness.  She prefers to be called KD.  Our problem is sort of related to her, but it is not medical.”

Resting his chin on one forehoof, as he sat behind the desk, Doctor Mordenheim inquired, “If the problem is not medical, then what is it?”

I held out a hoof, “KD, may I have the bag please?”

I showed him the bottom.  “Somepony named Redline is using your cutie mark on his things.  It has some interesting properties.”

Mordenheim put his face in his hooves.  “I know.  I see that KD has it.  She can't lose it either.  Whatever is in it, seems like an endless supply.  I made it, years ago.  How it got here to this world, I have no idea.”

He was sort of surprised when we all simply found seating and Coalsmoke asked casually, “So, how did you get here?  More to the point, when you arrived, did you meet an elderly blue unicorn with a white mane, tail, and beard?”

Mordenheim looked blank.  “What?  No, I never met anypony like that.”

He got a seriously uncomfortable expression as he elaborated, “I would really prefer not to go into why I wound up here.  Princess Luna knows in detail.  Suffice it to say that the events led me to wandering in the Everfree Forest.  I have no idea at all how it happened, since the Everfree is not all that big, but I was in there for over a week.  Perhaps more, I am not at all sure.  What I am sure of is that the path that I was on did not seem to double back on itself or any thing like that.  Between sun breaks in the forest canopy and the scenery, I am sure that I was not going in circles.

“I happened on the ruin of this old castle.  I might have simply passed it by but it had a small cobbled road leading to it from outside of the forest.  I followed that road and it led me to Ponyville.”  He shook his head in wonder, “It was a very different Ponyville than the one that I left.  By good fortune, I met Caramel Treat, Fangrin and Reverend Smallflower.  The rest all came from meeting them.”

I pointed out, “Fascinating as that is, it completely dodges the question of that bag and its neverending supply of adulterated Dragon Muffins.”

One of Doctor Mordenheim's ears cocked up in fascination.  “Adulterated? How?”

Coalsmoke filled in, “With lots of zinc metal dust, that's how.”

Doctor Mordenheim winced,  “Ouch!  That would make mountains of hydrogen gas!  That could cause a serious problem for a dragon!”

KD confirmed, “It sure does!  The hiccups that it causes have been near the ruin of my art.”

Suddenly you could see things clicking together in Doctor Mordenheim's mind! “KD?  Art?  Did you do the covers and illustrations for Daring Do and the Secret of the Apploosa Cave?  The Adventure of the Singing Sands?  The Nippony Diamond?”

KD nodded, clearly pleased.  “All three!  Why?”

Acting like a foal as he was going to his book shelf, Mordenheim snagged all three books and returned to his desk.  “I love your art, KD, would you please autograph these for me?”

With an impishly evil grin, displaying her big dragon chompers, KD replied, “Sure!”  She was reaching into the bag.  “Just as soon as I snack on this muffin!  Or, you make this bag harmless!”

Grinning right back, and revealing a set of fangs that would not have been out of place in a tiger shark, Mordenheim replied, hoof over heart, “You wound me!  I was going to do that anyway.  You did not need blackmail me.  It did make it more fun, though!”

KD chuckled as she said, “I would not really have done it, Doc.  It was just too much fun to pass up the chance.  So, tell us, why did you make a bag like this?”

Reassured that we did not hold his apparent past against him, he sat back comfortably and half smiled at the memory.  “Revenge.  Count Sourbottom was being a problem, objecting to some of my experi . . . projects.   He had a whole herd of foals of all ages.  One of the youngsters had a birthday party coming up.  I set up one of these for each of them!  Loaded them with the finest, sweetest candies that I could locate.  It was a near perfect revenge.”

Always interested in more ways to get back at ponykind for their mistreatment of me in the past, I asked, “How was giving his foals candy any sort of revenge?”

Suddenly, Coalsmoke put a hoof to her lips to suppress giggles.  “Don't you see it, Grumpy?  He couldn't take them away for discipline because the bags will go right back to the foals.  Worse, the endless supply of sweets could cause all sorts of health and mouth problems that the Count would have to pay for!”

Mordenheim nodded happy agreement.  “Last that I heard, Count Sourbottom was headed for bankruptcy on dental bills alone!”

Going more serious, he offered, “KD, we may be able to save the gem topping of your muffins if we are lucky.  Would you like that?”

KD replied seriously, “That would be great, if we can do it.  I really like their flavor, especially the crushed rubies.  How can we do it?”

Doctor Mordenheim picked up the bag and headed for the outside door.  Over his shoulder, he invited, “Come outside for a simple little experiment.  We can save the gems themselves for sure.  Question is whether we can save the topping that they are in or not.”

He pointed down the yellow cobble road leading to his door.  “Now, my dear, take a muffin out of the bag but don't eat it.”

Mystified, she hoofed over the muffin.  “I understand why I have to get it out, but why not eat it?  What are we going to do with it?”

With total assurance, Doctor Mordenheim replied, “You are going to eat it but in parts.  Here, let me scrape off the topping.”  Carefully he removed the topping, taking none of the muffin itself.  “Just eat the topping.  I will hold the muffin for now.”

With obvious relish, KD did.  Licking it off her claws, she asked, “What now?  I like this test!”

“We wait a bit to see if you get gas.  If you don't, the zinc is only in the muffin part.”

KD cocked her head, brow wrinkled in concentration.  “I don't feel any gas coming on.  That usually happens pretty quick when it does.”

“I see. To finish the test, eat the rest of the muffin now.”

She did. And was soon hiccuping blasts of flame.

Nodding in confirmation, he said, “Just in the muffin then.  We can definitely save the topping for you.  Would you like just this topping or would you prefer it on something?”

“As it happens, I do have something that it might go good on.”

Back inside, she produced a bag.  We all saw Mordenheim's nose dilate as he caught the scent.  His ears shot forward in interest.  Drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth!

“What is that lovely smelling stuff, KD?”

“Gator Chow.  I got it from Pinkie Pie over on the bridge.  She told me that it is made from smoked and flaked meat pressed into bite sized chunks.”

Both Coalsmoke and I were rolling on the floor, laughing!  Getting myself somewhat under control, I commented, “Those teeth of yours are real, aren't they, Doc?”

“Yes, they are.  Is it a problem?”

Coalsmoke, composing herself comfortably on a large cushion, replied, “Not for us.  It was just unexpected.  Looks like Pinkie is going to have to stock in more Gator Chow, is all.  

“This explains why Caramel has mentioned you eating there a lot but I haven't seen you, and I eat there too.  You eat in the back, in her carnivore plaza.”

“Right. Now, KD, those Gator Chow chunks are just about muffin sized.  That is about as big as the bag can handle.  It is time to disarm the bag from those bad muffins.”

He got a large, heavy book from the shelf.  Instead of consulting it, he held it at the ready.

“Now, KD, take the muffin out and move your paws away from the bag swiftly.”

As she did, he slammed the book down on top of the bag!  He held it down for around a whole minute.  Relaxing, he pronounced, the spell is reset. It can now be reloaded and set to anyone.  Just a sec.”

He went into the back and returned with salad tongs and a spreading knife. Selecting one of KD's chow chunks, he carefully and neatly spread the gem topping onto it.  Taking the tongs, he used them to insert the topped chow chunk into the bag.

“Now, KD, just reach into the bag and take out the snack.  That will reset the bag to you with a safe treat.  You also now know how to change treats any time that you want.”

Saying, “Thanks, Doc!”  KD fished out the treat and nibbled it down with gusto!

I was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes that I don't really have. Thinking it over, I pointed out, “KD, whoever set you up was at the show in Manehatten.  The way it works, that spell didn't lock onto you until you took out that first muffin.

“It may be time for a contract or a bit of detective work in Manehatten. Perhaps both.”

Thoughtfully she suggested, “There is another big art show in Manehatten in a few days.  I do have a studio there with some finished pieces that I could enter if I could get there in time.  That would give us the cover that we need for detective work if we can arrive in time.”

I suggested, “If time is a problem, I could try setting up a portal between here and the Manehatten fairgrounds.  It has been a while since I studied that but it is really pretty simple magic.”

We all trooped outside and I began the really pretty basic preparations for opening a portal spell.  I did add a whole lot of “stage dressing” rituals, circles and other misdirection.  I always do.  Better showmanship and it hides what makes it work from prying eyes, even if they are watching.

A glowing circle appeared in the air, just in front of us and barely touching the ground.  Suddenly it began to grow, becoming a huge oval. Something enormous, making a steady pulsing roar and clanking like metal was coming toward us!

First, pretty high up, came a sort of short crossways tube with a hole in it on the side facing us.  The thing continued to advance.  That funny bit was attached to a long metal tube!  Down lower, some big metal plates appeared and then between them  an enormous bridge of metal. Huge wheels of steel supported endless linked plates of more steel!

As the contraption came on out, it was revealed to be a gigantic machine of some sort!  It had sloped sides up to a heavy device on top that the long tube came out of.  That had sloped sides too, as if this thing were made to bounce catapult shots off of it!  There were some serious dents and obvious repairs that made it seem that those slopes were strictly functional!

Sticking her head up out of a hatch in the top was a pony who looked for all the world like Rainbow Dash!  Reinforcing that idea was a brown pegasus with a black mane and tail clinging to the rear of the machine and calling out loudly enough to be heard over the machine's roar!

“Dashie! Stop!  You going to smash through garden wall again!  You crush Jade's herb garden again!  You so grounded!”

Dashie retorted, “I not hit wall, dad!  Big blue hole show up.  I drive through that!  Besides, last time I drive through Jade's herb garden, I fix it better than before.  She ask me to squash it again!”

“And one more thing!  Dashie, you make me good hot tea or you so grounded you need dig up for thousand year to see daylight!”

Innocently she shot back, “If I that grounded, I make you nice tea that De Writer send for me to get you!  It his idea to get it with remote control T82 Main Battle Tank!  If I NOT grounded, I MIGHT be able to find you nice green tea that he never touch!”

The brown pegasus sat hard.  “De Writer ask you to use Remote Control T82 IN CANTERLOT for that tea?  You not so grounded as I thought.”

The one identified as Dashie noticed us from her vantage point, high up in the top part of the T82.  She picked up a small boxy thing with buttons and levers and pushed one of the buttons.  The T82's loud grumbling fell quiet.

“Um, Dad, we come through portal, I think.  You not teach me that magic yet. There ponies here and a dragon.  Come around T82 and you see.  There small castle here too.”

The brown pegasus stepped around the metal monster and courteously introduced, “I Thomas the Writer.  Miscreant who drive T82 through your portal my daughter Dashie Writer.  T82 is educational toy give her by De Writer.”

Mordenheim looked up at the behemoth of steel and remarked, “Where you are from has different ideas about educational toys than any place I have ever been.”

Dashie replied, “It crazy where we from too, but what you expect from powerful wizard like De Writer?  Something safe?  He good to have on your side when trouble come, though.”

She turned about and exclaimed, “The portal gone!”

It was true.  Standing where it had been was a familiar cat otter hybrid with red hair.  She was wearing a well worn cloak of dark green and light seeming chain mail.  Mithril by the look of it.  Her left arm was a prosthesis, a mechanical arm of metal that moved in an utterly natural way.  Under the cloak was the scabbard of a large sword.  In her mechanical hand was a parchment that looked like a map of some sort.

She tucked away the map in a pouch at her waist and looked about, her gaze missing nothing.  Smiling, she waived!  “Hi, Grumpy!  It's me, Wind!  We met at Ponyville Fair, remember?  I am part of Marchhare's band of Rom.   I was going to meet them at Haymarket fair, up north, but this out of control portal got in the way.  I took the liberty of closing it.”

Thomas gave Wind a strangely puzzled look.  “This world with Marchhare in it?”

She shrugged, “I wouldn't be going to meet him and his band if it wasn't!  Why?”

Speaking to Dashie, Thomas said, “This important lesson, Dashie.  How many worlds in multiverse?”

She replied, “Infinite.  Everyone and thing have infinite copies, each a little different.”  Raising her eyebrows in thought, she added, “This a trick question, isn't it, Dad?”

“Sort of. You very quick.  Every rule have exception, right?”

Putting hoof to chin, she thought and then went wide eyed with realization! “Every rule have exception, even that rule!”

Thomas lifted his wings in pleasure.  “Right!  This ONLY world in whole multiverse that have Marchhare!  That is secret to navigation when go between worlds.”

Dashie blinked.  “What happen when he dies?”

“Nothing, Dashie.  Marchhare already dead.  Not die twice.”

We were all listening in amazement.  It was newcomer Wind who said, “That is sort of a relief.  That there is only one of my foster dad, I mean. I have met some of myself and it was not the best of experiences!”

She put her jaw in her metal hand and examined the whole situation carefully. Turning to me she asked, “Did you cast the portal, Grumpy?”

Scraping the grass where I was standing with one nonexistent forehoof and looking down, I muttered, “Afraid so.  Portals are not really my specialty.  I guess that I really messed this one up.”

Wind stepped over and lifted my glamor's head to look me in the eye.  “I am an expert with portals.  That one was really well done.  It would have worked perfectly if you had not cast it here.  The Everfree's Hidden Ways are what messed you up.

“Now, where were you trying to go?”

KD interjected, “We were aiming for the fairgrounds at Manehatten by the Sea.”

Wind nodded in a very take charge sort of way.  “I see.  That is about 6 or 7 hundred kilometers from here.”

Leaning casually up against the iron monster called T82, Wind asked, “Does this thing have personnel and cargo railings and how fast is it, uh, Dashie?”

Dashie brightened up as she replied, “It sure does have safety railings! I use them when I give Mia and Becky rides.  It can go as far as you want.  Out in the open, it can hit 100 kilometers an hour!  How did you know about that?”

Wind gave a delicate shudder, “I have adventured on a few worlds where similar machines were used.  I saw the passenger railings on some of them.”

Wind smiled ingratiatingly at Thomas.  “Would you be willing to let Dashie take us all on an Adventure to Manehatten by the Sea?  It will get these nice beings where they need to go and be fun for us all.  From there, I can easily send you both back home.”

Dashie had hopped out of the top of the T82 and began releasing catches and lifting up metal railings.  They clicked as they locked into place. When she was done, she lowered a set of steep metal stairs to climb up onto the back of her “educational toy.”

Thomas watched with a skeptical lift to his right eyebrow.  “I not say we go, Dashie.”

She looked him straight back in the eye as she retorted, in front of us all, “Right.  All that you have to do is tell our hosts that you won't do something simple and fun to help them.”

“That blackmail, Dashie!”

“Right. Between you and our De Writer, I learn from the best!”

He chuckled, “OK.  We do it.”

Wind swung easily up the boarding stair and called, “All aboard for the Manehatten Express!”

KD swarmed up, found the engine vents, and curled up with a “Dibs on the warm spot!”

Coalsmoke gently pushed me toward the enormous device with, “I would love to go too, Grumpy, but I have serious business to talk over with Victor. The Princesses want to set up a program for helping wounded veterans of their armies.”

Dashie started the T82 and made a big turn.  Wind guiding her, we set out for Adventure!  And Manehatten.

Technically, we took Doctor Mordenheim's path down to the Falmire cutoff and turned south towards the junction with Royal Road 315.  For some reason, the busy traffic of Ponyville's industrial district gave way before us, even when it had the right of way!  Couldn't imagine why! Surely it had nothing to do with fifty or more tonnes of steel monstrosity charging along at a “mere” twenty kilometers per hour.

We reached the Royal Road toll booth without incident.  Almost had an incident there.  The poor booth keepers were going nuts trying to sort out the proper toll.

Pages were fluttering back and forth in their toll manuals, “It ain't a cart or wagon from any section!  Darn thing is made out of iron like a fool locomotive on the railroad!”

“I know, Jeb!  Can't even classify it by team size or set up!  It runs itself!”

Wind was sitting on the edge of the turret, which Dashie had taught us was the name for that upper part with the long pipe sticking out of it, and giggling at the small uproar.  

“When Marchhare hears about this, he will split his harness, he will laugh so hard!”

One of the toll collectors looked up at her and got a beatific smile.  “You are Wind, from Marchhare's band of Rom, right?  I saw you at our fair a couple of times.”

She nodded acknowledgment, “Yes, Sir.  I am.”

He turned to his buddy and pushed the manuals shut.  “Just write Rom from Marchhare's band, toll free by Crowns Law.”

Jeb did write, though he was still trying to protest.  His superior shut him down with, “Jeb, like enough you are right.  Still, it solves OUR problem.”  He tripped the gate mechanism and the flimsy red and white painted wooden bar lifted up out of our way.

We pulled onto the Royal Road.  Besides less traffic, it was wider and better maintained than the Ponyville road we had come from.  Dashie began to open up the speed once we had clear road ahead of us.  I must say, I was impressed.  Dashie was not kidding about hitting a hundred kilometers an hour!

The T82 was fast and high enough that we had to duck shade tree branches!  A delighted KD had her sketchbook out and was rapidly drawing things from her high perspective!

Chortling, she explained, “Even as roughs, some of these will adapt to pictures for my book contract!  This is great!”

Wind steered us into one of the many waysides, making Dashie slow down and drive gently as we parked for the evening.  With assurance, she showed us where the free water and firewood were.

With a fond smile, Wind recalled, “I have camped here before, while traveling with Dad's band.  There is a small stream over in the bushes that we can get fresh fish and crawdads out of for a nice dinner.”

KD had out an easel and was busily drawing with colors.  She was doing the T82 framed by a sunset of riotous clouds and glowing light.  

She asked politely, “Wind, would you be so good as to pose there, just below the turret?  I want your metal arm just casually holding something and your sword out in your right hand, ready but not on a guard.”

Wind did pose.  It really did not take KD long at all to capture the feeling of the scene.  The way that Wind was posing, it looked for all the world like she OWNED the metal monster behind her!

Done posing, Wind stretched and began doing limbering up exercises.  With an expression of delight, and without even thinking about it, Wind began to dance and sing in a language strange to all of us.  I did recognize it from my times at the Ponyville fair, serving mainly as security for Caramel Treat's excellent food booth.  The language was Gyptian, the sort of private and held secret, nearly melodious tongue of the Rom.  I did recognize the dance.

She was treating us to the Shehan Ja Rom, their story of how the Rom came to be.  I gather that it is the oldest dance and song of the Rom.  As her dance and song finished, I remembered that the Rom did not clap for applause.  I leaned my head back and gave the loud trill that the Rom use.

Wind looked sort of startled as the others followed suit.  Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Sorry.  It was just the joy of being on the road again.”

It was KD who said it, “Don't be sorry.  It was lovely.  Is there an Equestrian translation?”

I put in, “I know that there is.  That was the famous Shehan Ja Rom.  The Rom traditionally dance and sing it in an Equestrian version to open fairs.  What I am curious about is how Wind, who is nothing like any horse or pony, came to be a Rom and of Marchhare's band at that.”

Wind sat near the fire and absently began to assemble vegetable skewers for Dashie, Thomas and I.  “I made a little mistake while adventuring. I survived it, obviously.  Mama Dragon fixed me up and sent me here, to this Equestria to finish healing and recuperate.  De Writer met me and steered me to Marchhare's band.

“Good thing, too.  One of my wounds developed a small inflammation that could have killed me.  Black Lotus, Marchhare and Hoof Dancer, his wife at the time, healed me.  Mama Dragon was wise in sending me to them for a month.  I had more than physical wounds to heal.  I joined them and learned to read, write and speak Gyptian.  Having a real caring and extended family provided the rest of the healing that I needed.  Now, I have my Freedom and I can come and go as I wish, but my Rom family is always there for me.”

I could tell that there was a lot left out but Wind cut her tale off without harming her tail by asking, “Grumpy, will you tend these skewers for me while I go catch some fish, crawdads and a bunny or two for dinner to share with KD?”

I realized at once that besides being an adventurer, Wind was quite diplomatic. She had just reminded the lot of us that KD had not eaten all day, except for snacks, and that both she and Wind were carnivores. Possibly hungry carnivores.

Dashie took off too, calling, “Wind!  Wait up!  I want see how you hunt and fish without fancy gear.”

Wind looked back, nodded and then beckoned with a finger curl.  As soon as Dashie was up to her, Wind slid into the brush without a sound.  Dashie, trying to follow was pretty quiet.

Coming to the creek bank, Wind laid flat and wriggled forward on her stomach. Carefully parting the small thin wands of the bank willows, she slid her right arm into the water, reaching back, under the cut bank.  Her face screwed up with concentration, she eased her hand up, feeling for a fish.  Smiling, she slid her hand further up and grabbed!

Rolling back and lifting, Wind flipped the good sized trout out onto the bank!  She caught the flopping creature and bent its head back to break its neck.  She snipped off a thin bank willow strand with her knife and laced it through the fish's gills and out the mouth. Loosely knotting the ends, she hung the fish up and repeated the trick three more times!

Dashie was watching with awe.  “I never even hear of fishing that way!  How you do it?”

Wind picked up her willow loop with fish and replied, “It takes practice to tickle trout but it is not really hard.  You need to be careful and gentle.  When you feel the fish with your fingers, you need to work your way up until you feel the pectoral fins, those just behind the gills.  Snap your fingers into the gills and lift it out quickly.

“Now for a nice brace of bunnies and dinner will ready to cook.”

Dashie, keeping her voice down, asked, “I see warren right over there.  How you catch them?  Some kind of trap?”

Wind, following Dashie's pointing hoof, shook her head.  “I could, and if we were going to be here longer, I would set some snares.  Since it is only dinner and breakfast, I will just pounce them.  It is easier and quicker.”

Dashie watched Wind ghost her way through the brush toward the warren. Choosing her place, she waited, a bunched spring of living huntress. Nothing moved except for the tip of her tail twitching slightly.  It was only a few minutes before a bunny hopped lazily toward one of the main holes of the warren.  Wind's pounce included a fast chop with her metal hand!  The bunny only twitched once before going still.

Wind quietly picked a different spot and soon had a second bunny!

Bearing her prey, Wind and Dashie returned to camp.  On their way, Wind asked, “Why did you want to see how I got fish and bunnies?  Most ponies really don't want to see that.”

Face flaming a little with embarrassment, Dashie replied, “I am sort of, like half dragon.  I turn into one if I need to or want to.  Thing is, I not very good at getting meat to eat!  I have to turn back to a pony and graze up dinner!  There are times that really inconvenient!”

Wind chuckled.  “I can see that!  We have one more stop before Manehatten by the Sea.  I will take you out hunting there too, OK?”

Back at camp, Wind considerately went to the other side of the T82 to clean and prepare her catch.  A lightly drooling KD went to help!  They both returned to the camp, licking their lips and smiling.  They were finishing up with some of KD's endless supply of Gator Chow.  Wind had carefully cleaned off the gem topping from hers and used it to enhance KD's snack.

As we were settling about the fire, Dashie asked, “Um, Wind, did Rom hold you prisoner some way?  You say you have your freedom.”

Wind chuckled at the misunderstanding.  “No, Dashie.  The Rom Freedom is a thing that they wear.  Here, I have mine in my bag.”

She reached into her bag at her waist and her arm seemed to go in further than was possible.  She saw us staring and snorted her amusement.  “It is called a bag of holding.  It is sort of like Marchhare's caravan. It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.  Here it it is!”

Stopping her rummaging, she pulled out a sort of headstall thing of richly tooled and dyed leather with rings and buckles that looked to be gold.  She strapped it on.

“This is a Freedom of the Rom.  They grant them only to beings that they have fully accepted as one of their own.”

“Why is call a Freedom?” Dashie wondered.

Wind lifted her chin with pride.  “The original cast off slaves that were the first Rom wore a headstall with a bit and lead ring.  They had them all their lives and were not comfortable without something on their heads.  They re made them into the Freedom by taking away anything by which they could be made to serve another.  No bit or lead ring has ruled any Rom from that day to this.”  Very carefully, Wind removed her Freedom and put it away.

KD had curled into an amazingly hard to see coil of dragon to sleep until dawn.  The rest of us were spreading blankets to sleep under the stars.

A wagon full of road repair tools and an accompanying work gang of ponies pulled into the rest area.  A couple of them strode arrogantly to our camp and demanded, “We are hungry!  What ever food you got, hoof it over now!  You don't, we gonna take sledgehammers to that there tin thingy!”

I gently prodded the almost sleeping dragon in our midst.  KD had been paying attention!  Her head rose up, eyes alight.  A curl of flame showing at each nostril and outlining her barely opened jaws completed the picture!

She serenely asked, “What?  More dinner?  I'm not sure that I could hold another whole pony.  Mind if we just sort of pack along the leftovers for lunch?”

Dashie had lifted a fully draconic head.  In the late evening's light we could not make out her color but we could easily make out the totally paling ponies!

“What! They got TWO DRAGONS!”

Dashie corrected, “No.  Two HUNGRY dragons!”

Dashie was giggling at the frantic retreat of the two jerks!  Got to admit to some chuckles of my own.  KD's sides were heaving as she re coiled herself.

Dashie got up onto all fours.  In the dying firelight, she could be seen to be a light blue color.  She flexed her wings a couple of times and strolled over to where the road crew ponies were carelessly re packing to leave.  In terror but not so terrified that they were willing to have to pay for abandoned gear!

One thoughtlessly yelled, “Road camp privacy!  Stay away, that is kingdom law!”

Wind, who was almost unnoticed at Dashie's right front leg, calmly pointed out, “You have just admitted that you knew that you were breaking kingdom law when you tried to hijack our dinner.  In your haste to correct your error, you dropped your sledgehammers.  Here!”

Wind revealed a hidden strength by casually giving the heavy hammers an underhand toss.  Both hammers overshot the wagon and hit the turf on the other side of it.

That got the attention of the road crew ponies!  One noticed, “How come you only got one arm?”

Smiling angelically, which showed off her fangs nicely, Wind reached up with her metal left arm and scritched at the base of Dashie's left dragon horn as she replied, “What, this?” Campfire light glinting from her metal arm, she said casually, “Kitten here, and I got to roughhousing last week!  She was a little too enthusiastic, that's all.”

Dashie, catching on to the game, bent her head around and gave Wind a lick at the shoulder and said contritely, “I said that I was sorry!  We just need to find a Phoenix potion so that you can regrow it. Again.”

They strolled back to our camp, Wind taking the time to re hang her cloak to sort of hide her metal arm.  Thomas, Dashie, now turned back to a pegasus, and I nibbled up Wind's excellent fruit and vegetable skewers.

Wind toasted the last of the bunnies and trout over KD's flame and shared that extra bit dinner with her.  Dashie “sneaked” over and turned back to a dragon to beg a few bites.  Grinning, they let her have some.

Sleeping out in the open, I did not have my usual nightmares of a Celestian Church mob burning my home, studies, and, failing to trap me in the house, attempting to stone me to death.  Perhaps my feelings of safety came of sleeping beside a big blue dragon?  One that liked me? Very likely.

It could not last.  For one thing, dawn comes far too soon for a cave dwelling goat like me.  The other was a light blue bundle of enthusiasm with rainbow mane and tail!  Dashie was bounding into camp!  She was waiving a forked stick with three big fat trout on it!  It was laced through their gills and out their mouths, with the forked branch acting as a stop to keep them from sliding off.

“I did it, Wind!  I tickle trout just like you show me how!”

Wind looked up from laying the morning cook fire.  Her grin showed her usually hidden fangs as she replied, “Just like I showed you?   Not sure how to point this out diplomatically but you don't have any fingers to do it with.”

Totally disingenuous, Dashie replied, “I just use my magic like you show with hand.  It not hard.  Real trick was find where fish hide.  You show me that.  They too quick to catch if just grab.  Gentle tickle is trick.”

Both KD and I were listening with rapt attention.  It was clear that Thomas and Dashie's Equestria was very different from this one.  As they talked, that became more and more apparent.

“Does your magic come from being a weredragon?”

“Only a little.  Most I learn from Dad.  He one of two most powerful beings in our Equestria.  Be honest, I think De Writer worst.  Super strong magic and wicked sense of humor.  And bored.  He three thousand years old.  Raise Princesses.”

“I see. Do other pegassi use magic where you come from?”

“Not really.  Dad figure out that there more magic in world than Earth, Pegassi, and Unicorn.  It come from his mom, Aurora, the Demon Queen.”

We all looked askance at the innocent appearing brown pegasus.  This was getting more and more interesting all the time.

Wind just nodded, took the fish and efficiently set about preparing them.  She also pulled some fresh looking apples and peaches out of the bag at her waist.  She expertly split them into proper chunks and dropped them into a pot.  She added a little fresh water and, reaching into her bag of holding, pulled out a box with many drawers and bottles, a jar with a sealed top and a small flour bag.

I was sort of amazed, watching the sheer skill with which Wind organized breakfast.  She even had water on heating in a biggish pot.  She added some from the sealed bottle.  The camp filled with the heavenly aroma of Rom black tea!

Satisfied with the progress of the fruits in the pot, she added sugar, cinnamon from one of the drawers of the box and stirred in the flour to thicken it.

It smelled heavenly, not like regular flour at all.  Wind closed the bag and returned box, bag and jar to her bag of holding.  She saw my calculating look as I watched it all happening.  

Wrinkling her nose in amusement, she explained, “Ka'chek flour.  A Rom without it?  Unheard of!”

Breakfast lived up to the lovely scents, and then some.

Wind, KD and Dashie went to the other side of the T82 to fix and eat the trout.  Coming back, Dashie and KD were finishing up gem topped Gator Chows and Wind was nibbling at one with the topping removed.

While they were eating, the rest of us cleaned up all the cookware and put out the fire.  We especially cleaned out the fruit stew pot!  Nearly came to blows over who got to lick it out!  Good sense prevailed and we took turns licking parts of it.  Then, we washed it.  We did have one thing unwashed.

We saved Wind the last mug of Rom black tea.  Smiling at our courtesy, Wind drained it and saw to proper washing of the mug.  She then caused us all a small croggle of the mind by causally putting all of the clean cookware and dishes into her bag of holding!

We all piled onto the remote controlled T82 and Dashie got us on the road again!

I noticed that Wind was wearing her Freedom and had put on a harness.  It was as richly tooled and dyed as her freedom.  They were clearly a matched set.

While KD was busy with her art, making fast sketches of the lands that we were passing through, I made bold to ask, “Why the Rom outfit?  This is not exactly a caravan.”

Wind giggled at some joke that I did not understand as she replied, “Actually, it is.  You just have to understand what caravan means. It is a loan word from the desert Kingdoms that was already in use by the time that the first Rom came here.  In their language of Gyptian, it means something slightly different from how it is used in Equestrian.

“It is just that there is a road section toll gate coming up in a little. Me being dressed this way should get us through the gate for free.”

Nodding acceptance for her reason, I turned my attention to Thomas, who was trying hard to act like an adult pegasus, rather than a colt having the time of his life.

I guessed, “You have not ridden on Dashie's T82 before, have you Thomas?”

With a twinkle in his eye, he admitted, “Never before this.  I think that she get to play with it more but need daddy supervision!”

I was chuckling at that when we all felt the iron monster slowing down. Wind, pointing ahead, made clear exactly why.  There was the toll booth with its light weight red and white bar across the road.  There was a substantial cabin in back of it for use of the toll collectors when off duty and out here, kilometers from any town.  A sign said, WELCOME TO THE MANEHATTEN ROYAL ROAD SECTION.

Wind hopped off the top of the huge left tread guard of the T82 and greeted the toll takers, “Hi!  What do you think of my new act?  Just doing a shake down run to IRON out any problems!  We are promised entertainment for the big art show.”

The utterly bemused light yellow toll collector turned to his lavender buddy and shook his head.  Pushing the toll manual shut he said, “Rom.  No accounting for 'em.  Just write Rom, toll free by Crowns Law.”

He tripped the mechanism and the toll gate rose up out of our way.  

As the mechanical behemoth passed through the gate, Wind trotted after and swung up the steel boarding stair and resumed her place on top of the turret, next to Dashie.

We had passed two of the Waysides when Wind guided Dashie into one that seemed empty.  It was nowhere near noon, yet.

“Thanks, Dashie!  There is a friend here that I want to talk to.  It would have been rude to just go by and not say Hi.”

With that, she bounced off the turret, grabbed what we had learned was called the Main Gun, and swung, letting go and landing lightly.  She sprinted over to the edge of the woods.

Sitting suddenly, she quietly reached out and laid a sparkling pebble among many others in that spot.  She said, “Hannara Na Kili.”  We could not make out the rest.  It was all in Gyptian.  It contained pauses as if she was listening to what another was saying.  The conversation was soon over.

Wind got up, smiling serenely, and returned to us.  Dashie had turned to a dragon so that she and KD could share a couple of KD's gator chows.

Wind suggested, “We could get going, now.  The Loved Dead are always with us.  Hannara and I had a nice chat.”

It was slowly percolating through the brain that I don't really have, just how different Rom are.  And I have known them, shared food with them and talked with them for years.  They have even been guests in my cave.  I have heard that expression, the Loved Dead are always with us hundreds of times.  I have heard about Laying the Stones goodness only knows how many times.  This was the first time that I had seen it.

Seeing how Wind treated it, both casually and with absolute assurance, as if the horse in that grave that the Rom call a Gateway to the Lake of Paradise, or Lake for short, was really there, made it hit me like a gut punch.

I knew, like everybeing in Equestria that the ONE THING THAT YOU DO NOT DO is desecrate any Wayside burial.  Ponies who die more than two days travel from their homes are entitled to a Wayside burial.  It is a Royal Benefice.  The graves are marked and tended as part of Wayside maintenance.

All Rom who die get a Wayside burial, that they call a Lake or going to the Lake.  They lay small, inexpensive, but pretty pebbles on them to mark them.  

Desecration of a Rom Lake will bring the Princesses in person to investigate. The criminals WILL get caught.  Penalties are HARSH.  They range from twenty years at hard labor on the Royal Roads up to life.  The worst offenders, who have actually exhumed Rom remains get a punishment worse than simple death.  

They get life in the Twins Mine, digging mercury ore.  The fumes destroy the mind and wrack the body.  After the first few such grave robberies, centuries ago, no pony in their right mind will risk that.

Wind looked so quietly happy that I had to wonder whether there was any truth to the Rom belief in the Lake of Paradise.

Dashie finished her snack and changed back to a pegasus.  We all piled back onto the T82 educational toy and hit the road again.  It was not long before we came to a bridge across a stream.

It was a nice, well built and solid bridge.  It was clear that it was not made to take the sheer mass of the T82.

Dashie, following Wind's suggestions and pointing, reversed the T82 for about fifty or sixty meters.  There, she eased off the road and headed toward the stream.  She stopped short, while Wind scouted ahead, dropping down the stream bank and checking the bottom to be sure that it would hold up the tank.

Returning, she suggested to the others, “I think that you should get off and use the bridge on foot.  This will be a wild ride!”

KD pointed to the line of ten to fifteen centimeter diameter trees that lined both sides of the stream skeptically.  “Um, not to cast doubt or anything, but how do you plan to get this thing past those?”

Wind replied quietly, “I have seen machines like this, doing what they were designed to do.  I don't think that it will be a difficult problem.”

KD and Thomas both looked into Wind's eyes and saw reflected experiences that they did not want to share.  Neither did I.  Thomas just said, “T82 break trees in orchard before this.  I take Wind's advice.”

Nodding, KD followed him, saying, “Let me get to the center of the bridge and get my sketchbook out!  I don't want to miss this!”

Figuring that the center of the bridge would have the best view of the proceedings. I joined them.

That was when I noticed something completely uncanny.  As big and heavy as the T82 was, there was no sign of its driving across the grass and brush to get to the stream.  Looking back, I saw that the road was in perfect condition, too.

I pointed it out to the one here who might know something about it. Thomas snickered happily, “Yes, know already.  You not say anything to Dashie but she very good with magic of rock and stone.  Also with magic of plants.  She fix what educational toy do as it happen most time.”

Just then, it started.  The T82 let out a loud roar and charged the treeline!  There was a splintering set of crashing sounds as it struck the innocent vegetation!  The trees did not stand a chance! They swayed, cracked and buckled, falling down into the stream as the “toy” crunched over them, tipping down steeply as it plunged into the stream!   With a huge splash, followed by the churning up of rock, gravels and white water, the machine charged the opposite bank!

As it hit, I began to appreciate the ingenuity of the linked steel belts that the T82 ran on.  There was a slope at the front before the treads hit the ground.  Now, that slope let the machine claw its way up the bank, tilting back steeply as its momentum and driving tracks forced it up, pushing the trees aside and down while it topped the bank!

Dashie drove her “toy” up to the road's edge and parked it.  She bailed out and took wing to the other side of the stream.  Landing in the water, she transformed into her dragon self!

She called, “Dad!  KD!  Will you help please!?”

She was lifting the fallen trees back into their places, on the stumps that they had broken off from.  While she was at it, I could see her magic going into the stems and branches, binding together cracks and breaks.

KD loped down and joined her.  “What can I do, Dashie?  I don't know anything about this kind of magic.”

“Just hold trunk up while I fix break and roots.”

Thomas strolled down and waded into the stream.  He started repairing cracks and breaks in the wood of the fallen trees to speed things along.

Wind and I sat on the bridge rail and watched them work.  She commented, “Ah, hard work!  I can sit and watch it for simply hours!”

It really did not take all that long for the party to restore all the trees and larger brush, leaving almost no sign that the massive T82 had charged through there.

KD said it for all of us, as we climbed back aboard the T82, “I never even heard of magic like that before!”

As she was settling into the turret and picking up the remote control, Dashie shrugged.  “All world each a little different.  Some thing go from world to world, some not.  Magic dad teach me, it work.”

Not too much later, we pulled into a Wayside to fix lunch.  Some heavy freight dray ponies were already camped there, so Dashie parked us at a site well away from them, to give them camp privacy.

They stomped over to us just as Wind was setting a large pot of water to heat.

“Whatever you gots to eat gotta be better than our road ration oats!  Hoof it over!  We even got you a bag of oats to make it a fair trade!”

Dashie quelled Wind before she could say anything.  She gestured for KD to stay hidden behind the T82.  Pretending to quail some, she replied, “We just stop for ordinary tea before go on.  Got special box tea need to be deliver.”

Thomas, sounding indignant, demanded, “No!  Dashie, that tea special!  Got to go to Castle . . .”

“They meaner than us, Dad!  I give them one packet.  Only make them a couple of gallon.”

She ducked down into the T82's interior and returned with a modest package wrapped in gold colored foil.

She made a point of securing the oats before giving them the package.  “We going be in much trouble for this.  Oats is least you can do.”

As they retreated, I noticed that Thomas had a diabolical grin.  Dashie, on the other hoof, simply hopped up on the T82 and tripped something on her control box.

The turret turned and the main gun lowered some.  It pointed the big main gun directly at the drover's camp.

All that Thomas would say was, “It De Writer tea.  Never know what happen. Best be safe!”

[ask-de-writer]

HICCUPS!  : MLP Fan Fiction : A Work In Progress

As usual for works in progress, new parts and changes to older ones are done in Boldface type.

HICCUPS!

A Grumpy Goat <tail>

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

7454 words so far, this is a WORK IN PROGRESS

© 2019 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 11/30/18

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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Characters:

Grumpy Goat and usual cast

Thomas/and/or/Dashie Writer – remote controlled T82

Wind, the Mama Cat

Victor Mordenheim  - Mad Doctor

Krystal Dragoness “KD” Wingless dragon - artist

Fume Hood Unicorn, a bit small-Forensic Chemist

Jinni and Sassy vampire and succubus

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It was being a quiet day out on the ledge in front of my cave.  We were sitting on a bench, out in the sun, rereading Daring Do and the Secret of the Appleoosa Cave.  The stout iron sheeting that blocked the entrance to my cave was warm behind us.

The lovely Coalsmoke, a pony of perfect glossy black except for her cutie mark, was leaning over where my shoulder would be, if I still had a body, or for that matter was even technically alive. ��She was admiring one of the illustrations in the book.

“I especially like these illustrations signed KD, Grumpy.  They capture the mood and action really well.”

Sitting on my other side was the finely polished skeleton of an alicorn.  He was the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, the being responsible for my present condition and now one of my few true friends.

He agreed, “Look at how well the artist has made the cave entrance look menacing.  Whoever did this is very good.”

We were distracted from our pleasant reading by a flare of flame down on the trail leading up to my cave.  Looking down the way, I was more or less expecting it to be the torches of another anti goat mob or, more specifically anti Grumpy Goat mob.  

Due to my business, I am less than popular with some ponies.  I have a thriving practice in Non Equine Magic.  Mostly, it does not appear to do anything.  Somehow, the desired, contracted for and paid in advance results just seem to happen by perfectly natural, if often bizarre means.

This time, it was not a mob.  There was a wingless blue dragon toiling up the stony path to my cave.  The next time that she flared, we could hear it.  It sounded like she was suffering from a case of hiccups! Possibly not the best ailment for a dragon to have, since she was burping a smallish fire blast with each hiccup!

When she gained the ledge, she considerately turned her head out away from us. Good thing, too!  She had two hiccups in quick succession!

She offered, “My name is Krystal Dragoness, KD for short.  I've come to you about these hiccups.  They are like to ruin me.  I am at my wit's end.  See, I am an artist.  I draw and paint.  I get going on a piece and these hiccups start up!  One of them is sure to hit my work, and, well, paper, paints, canvas and frames are all pretty flammable! I've even burned up brushes!

“Can you help me to end these hiccups?”

I nodded, making my skull, apparently floating on nothing, with its everburning candle between the horns, glowing snake like eyes and fangs bob.  “I could do that, yes.  It would not cure the basic problem, though. Hiccups usually have a natural cause from tummy and lungs not coordinating right.  If I fix this case, it could easily happen again.

“Let's dig into how this started and whether there is some underlaying cause that we can fix.”

Somewhat disappointed, Krystal nodded.  “That makes sense.  My first case of the hiccups like this happened at my one dragon show in the Sunrise Gallery in Manehatten.  You know how those things are, lots of nobs that you need to chat with and lots of small snacks and drinks.  The show itself was a pretty important one.  

“I landed a contract to illustrate the next Daring Do book.  There was some serious competition for that contract, let me tell you.  It nearly went to Drawin Pitcher.  She wasn't too happy about me getting to do the art for another Daring Do book.  This one will be my fourth.

“I had only just signed the contract when the hiccups started. The first one nearly incinerated my new contract! I was able to get out of the gallery safely when they began.  I was lucky that I didn't hurt anypony or any of my art.”  

She absently pulled a sparkly topped muffin out of a bag and began munching it.  Looking up, a bit embarrassed, she pointed out, “I really can't share dragon muffins with you.  They are topped with crushed gems and have gold or silver dust in the muffin part.  I'm afraid that they are pretty toxic to non dragons.”

Coalsmoke asked curiously, “Where did you get them?  No place in Ponyville makes them at all.  Sometimes the kitchen in Princess Twilight's castle makes up some for Spike but they never sell them.”

Krystal knit her brows in puzzlement.  “I get them out of this bag.  I always like have them when I am a little tense, like when I am concentrating on my art.  Nibbling helps me to focus.”

Just then, she let out another small belch of fire.

Whistling softly, I thought carefully about what I had heard.  “Tell me, Krystal, at the art show, did you have muffins like these?”

“Well, yes.  Any well equipped bakery can make them.  They just have to clean up carefully afterwards.  They always serve them if I am going to be showing any of my works.”

I nodded and looked over at the lovely Coalsmoke, who is always a treat for the ol' eyeballs and asked, “And where have you bought them since that art show in Manehatten?”

She paused, thinking.  “I haven't had to.  This bag always has some in it.”

The eyes that I don't really have widened just a bit.  “It always has some of those muffins in it for you?  When did you get that bag?”

She scratched behind the spines along the back of her jaw as she sorted it out.  “I first noticed it just after I left the gallery at the show where I got those first hiccups.  It's always there when I am tense.”

I glamored my invisible spirit body to look like the handsome tan, black and brown goat that I was before the tiny mistake that killed me and destroyed my original body.  Holding out a hoof, I said, “Just give me the bag, please.  I am going to try something simple with it.”

Nodding affably, Krystal handed me the bag.  I took it inside my cave and shut the iron door.  That door and my cave front were designed by a good firm of military engineers to withstand an Equestrian standard military battering ram.  

It only takes one anti-goat mob burning your house, your library, years of study, hopes for a degree and dreams of well paying work to make one take a few simple precautions.  Add the mob trying to stone your burned and battered body to death to drive home the lesson in how how to hate most ponies.  That trivial incident also motivated my simple and sensible precautions against a repeat of the problem.  Like living in a cave.  With a military fortress grade steel and iron entrance.

I turned about from sealing the door and asked Krystal if she was still feeling tense.  Digging into the bag for a muffin, she replied, “Yes, a little.  Why?”

The Litch King pointed with a foreleg of bone.  “That is why.  He just shut that bag inside his cave and it looks like you have it back.”

He turned his skeletal head to me and stated, “Grumpy, if you can, we NEED to help KD.  Her illustrations really make a Daring Do book!  Plus, we know now that a new one is in the works!  We can't let anything interfere with THAT!”

I shrugged and opened the door.  I was not even surprised that the bag was not there inside my cave any longer.  Krystal munched her muffin and shortly hiccuped another tongue of flame.

I pointed out, “That bag was behind six centimeters of forged iron.  In spite of that, it homed in on you without seeming effort.  Moments after you nibbled that muffin, you hiccuped another flame.  I suspect that there is a direct connection.  To be sure, we need to go back down into Ponyville.  I know someone in the forensic chemistry lab at the police department.  In the meantime, try not to nibble another muffin and let us see if that helps to control or stop the problem.”

On the trail back down to Ponyville, Coalsmoke and I tried to simply hold the bag instead of letting Krystal carry it.  This wise measure proved impossible.  The bag kept sneakily returning to her claws. After what happened up on the ledge in front of my cave, that was pretty much what was expected.

I have to admit that I was pleased by the simple fact that Krystal did keep her claws out of the bag.  We got down the trail and into Ponyville without incident as a result.

Instead of my usual turning towards the town hall and the Hall of Records, to record a new contract, I trotted right on, with a right turn, headed towards the Ponyville Waste Treatment Plant and Falmire Marsh, which is fenced and actually the final stage of the waste water treatment, before it goes into the river.

Coalsmoke was most interested in why we were going where we were going.  Soon enough, we came to a modest stone building close by to the treatment plant.  The sign said,

Ponyville Police Department

Forensics Laboratory

Chemistry, Physical Evidence Analysis,

Forensic Autopsy

As I pushed open the front door, I explained, “I know most of the staff here. Sometimes they will consult with me, when a case is being a pain.”

Coalsmoke chuckled, “How often is one of their nasty cases the result of one of your contracts, Grumpy?”

A smallish unicorn looked up from where he was working at a desk, apparently compiling a report.  “Not really all that often, Miss Coalsmoke. Even when it is, there is no actual evidence that can link the contract to the results.  Grumpy is often a big help in sorting out how something that we are investigating happened.  We pay him a proper consultation fee, of course.”

I introduced, “Coalsmoke, KD, I would like you to meet Fume Hood, one of the best forensic chemists in the whole kingdom.  We are lucky to have him here in Ponyville.”

KD offered, “You have some unusual friends, Grumpy.”

I chortled, “If they aren't unusual in some way, the aren't worth having as friends.”

Turning my attention to Fume Hood, I explained what our situation was in a few words and ended with, “Think that you could do us a rough analysis of one of KD's dragon muffins?”

He thought for a moment, tapping quietly on his desk top before nodding, “You say that the flame is mostly pale blue? Nearly transparent but pretty hot?”

KD shook her head in agreement.  “Right.  That is, unless I eat something with salt in it.  Then the flame is yellow.  Is that significant?”

Fume Hood said, “It MAY be.  I would like to see both your normal flame and one from your hiccups.  Please step over there.  Dragon flame can be pretty handy for some chemistry tests, so we have a small indoor flame range.”

KD stepped over to the flame range's head rest.  Fume Hood lowered the room lights and suggested, “Whenever you are ready, Miss KD.  Just give us a small shot of your regular flame.”

KD's fire blast was impressively different from a hiccup flame.  It was a bright yellow with some red to the center and flame tips that went to a bluish hue.

Fume Hood almost danced pleasure at seeing it!  Perfect!   Normal dragon fire. Now, let's see what we get with one of those muffins.  Go ahead and take one from the bag and eat it.”

He was watching the bag very closely as KD extracted the muffin. “Fascinating.  There is only one muffin in the bag until you take it out.  Then a new muffin forms almost immediately afterwards.”

KD contentedly munched her muffin.  Within moments, she stuck her head into the flame range headrest and belched a nearly pure, pale blue flame.

Fume Hood smiled in chemistly joy.  “Timing and color nail it!  You were right, Grumpy.  There is a direct connection between the muffins and KD's hiccups of flame.  The only reason that she flames at all with them is that, being a dragon, she has a natural ignition spark every time she exhales or belches.  Whatever this vapor she is belching is, it is highly flammable.”

KD's shoulders slumped.  “Does that mean that I can't have Dragon Muffins anymore?”

Fume Hood chuckled as he replied, “I suspect that you can have all that you want.  Just not these, from this bag.”

He went to pull one out.  Looking perplexed, he tried again.  “Humm . . . I can't seem get that muffin out of the bag.  KD, will you get it please?  I need to analyze it.”

Without any problem, KD extracted the muffin.  Fume Hood took it and sliced it in half.  One half he put into a beaker with a lye solution.  It began to dissolve at once.  Soon there was only some slightly coarse granules mixed with loose sparkly fragments of gemstones in the bottom of the beaker.

Fume Hood filtered out the solid residue and rinsed it with water.  Stirring it with a glass rod, he explained, “The lye took away everything but the gems in the topping and the metal dusts in the body of the muffin.  Now, lets see what happens next . . .”

He dripped some acid onto the residue.  “Gems, gold, and silver won't dissolve in this mild acid.”  

In spite of that, something was happening!  It bubbled and fumed something fierce!  Happily touching it off with a sparking wand used to light his lab burners, Fume Hood pointed dramatically!

“There! You see?  Pale blue flame!  See the white residue?  Zinc oxide.  Your muffins are adulterated with zinc!  It reacts with your stomach acids to make hydrogen and that is what, along with a bit of moisture and such that it picks up as you burp is what makes your so called hiccups!  Just don't eat any muffins from that bag and you should be fine.”

He turned to me and snickered, “OK, Grumpy.  We are even now.”

I turned to the perplexed KD and Coalsmoke.  “They needed an autopsy done last year.  The cadaver was over a week old, in August.  I glamored up a form with no sense of smell and did it for them.  Death was from blunt force trauma to the back of the skull.  Clubbed, to be crude about it.”

KD brightened up and commented, “If they get that sort of thing to deal with, it is no wonder that this place is beside the waste treatment plant!”

I agreed, “Right!  Now all that we need to do is sort out how you got a bag that can do what this one does.”

KD put a finger to her cheek as she thought.  “I do know where I got it.  It was at that Manehatten art show that I told you about.  The Dragon Treats that they serve at those things are always kept separate from the pony treats by putting them in bags.  Somepony gave me this bag with a muffin in it, just before I signed that Daring Do contract.”

Fume Hood tapped me on my nonexistent shoulder and pointed to the bottom of the bag.  There was a small trade mark in the form of a silhouette. There was a small bit of advertising too.

KD read, “Redline Party Supplies – For a party to remember for the rest of your life – If you survive!”  She also pointed out, “That silhouette looks like a laughing wolf's head.”

Fume Hood agreed, “It does look like that, doesn't it?  I know of someone who uses a silhouette like that on their business cards.  Here.”  He hoofed over a card.

The card read:

Doctor Mordenheim,

General Surgery and Prosthesis.

Everfree Edge Clinic

Practice inspected and approved by Princess Luna

I was delighted!  “I know where that is!  It was a small old castle that was supposedly built by a -” I made my voice low and shivery while making Hoof Quotes, “- 'Mad Doctor' long before Ponyville was established.  It was in ruins when the Apples came and founded the town.”

Coalsmoke smiled and said, “Right, Grumpy.  I know where it is too.  I send my workers there for general health workups and surgery when it is needed.  Doctor Mordenheim really is very good.  It is not far from here, either.  Let's go see if he can shed any light on this business.”

We left, taking the Falmire Causeway that crossed the marsh, going out towards the southeast side of the Everfree forest.  We paused by a street vendor's cart to watch the antics of her trained alligator.

Have to admit that Pinkie has done a great job of training Gummy!  I mean, he is two and a half meters of fun!  Rumor has it that she has broken him to saddle, but she was not offering rides today.

“Gator Chow, gator chow! / The gators below are hungry now! / Feed the gators down below / It is really quite a show!”

A chuckling Coalsmoke hoofed over coins and got a big bag filled with large chunks.  It said “Certified Gator Chow” on the label.  She shared the chunks around and we spent a few happy minutes tossing them to the many alligators gathered hopefully under the bridge.

There were splashes and chomping a-plenty as the gators lunged about for each new chunk of the chow.  We heard a munching from behind us.

KD, swallowing, asked Pinkie, “Where can I get some more of this stuff? It is pretty good!”

At our stares, she retorted, “What?  Dragon here, remember?  I don't eat grass!”

We left Pinkie to her vending and went on across.  It was not long before we saw the sign pointing to the forest beyond.  It said, Everfree Edge Clinic, General Medicine and Prosthetics.

Only a little way up the designated path of yellow cobbles, we came to a small but well restored castle.  I had to give this Doctor Mordenheim credit for showmanship.  This was one classy clinic.  The sign over an open door read Welcome to Everfree Edge Clinic.

Coalsmoke rang a bell labeled Ring for Service that sat on a beautiful mahogany desk in the lobby/waiting room.

We did not even get to try out the assorted seating and laying cushions.  A large, near horse sized zebra with an eye patch came out of the back. His professional smile turned to a genuine one as he laid eye on Coalsmoke.

“My dear Coalsmoke!  What may I do for you, or is it for one of your friends?”

Suddenly stopping like he'd hit one of his stone castle walls, he gave me a careful and most knowing look.  “I do fear that the goat is beyond any help of mine.”

Coalsmoke smirked just a little as she replied, “You are correct.  This is Grumpy Goat, my long standing friend, of whom I am sure that you have heard.  We are not here for him.

“This is Krystal Dragoness.  She prefers to be called KD.  Our problem is sort of related to her, but it is not medical.”

Resting his chin on one forehoof, as he sat behind the desk, Doctor Mordenheim inquired, “If the problem is not medical, then what is it?”

I held out a hoof, “KD, may I have the bag please?”

I showed him the bottom.  “Somepony named Redline is using your cutie mark on his things.  It has some interesting properties.”

Mordenheim put his face in his hooves.  “I know.  I see that KD has it.  She can't loose it either.  Whatever is in it, seems like an endless supply.  I made it, years ago.  How it got here to this world, I have no idea.”

He was sort of surprised when we all simply found seating and Coalsmoke asked casually, “So, how did you get here?  More to the point, when you arrived, did you meet an elderly blue unicorn with a white mane, tail, and beard?”

Mordenheim looked blank.  “What?  No, I never met anypony like that.”

He got a seriously uncomfortable expression as he elaborated, “I would really prefer not to go into why I wound up here.  Princess Luna knows in detail.  Suffice it to say that the events led me to wandering in the Everfree Forest.  I have no idea at all how it happened, since the Everfree is not all that big, but I was in there for over a week.  Perhaps more, I am not at all sure.  What I am sure of is that the path that I was on did not seem to double back on itself or any thing like that.  Between sun breaks in the forest canopy and the scenery, I am sure that I was not going in circles.

“I happened on the ruin of this old castle.  I might have simply passed it by but it had a small cobbled road leading to it from outside of the forest.  I followed that road and it led me to Ponyville.”  He shook his head in wonder, “It was a very different Ponyville than the one that I left.  By good fortune, I met Caramel Treat, Fangrin and Reverend Smallflower.  The rest all came from meeting them.”

I pointed out, “Fascinating as that is, it completely dodges the question of that bag and its neverending supply of adulterated Dragon Muffins.”

One of Doctor Mordenheim's ears cocked up in fascination.  “Adulterated? How?”

Coalsmoke filled in, “With lots of zinc metal dust, that's how.”

Doctor Mordenheim winced,  “Ouch!  That would make mountains of hydrogen gas!  That could cause a serious problem for a dragon!”

KD confirmed, “It sure does!  The hiccups that it causes have been near the ruin of my art.”

Suddenly you could see things clicking together in Doctor Mordenheim's mind! “KD?  Art?  Did you do the covers and illustrations for Daring Do and the Secret of the Apploosa Cave?  The Adventure of the Singing Sands?  The Nippony Diamond?”

KD nodded, clearly pleased.  “All three!  Why?”

Acting like a foal as he was going to his book shelf, Mordenheim snagged all three books and returned to his desk.  “I love your art, KD, would you please autograph these for me?”

With an impishly evil grin, displaying her big dragon chompers, KD replied, “Sure!”  She was reaching into the bag.  “Just as soon as I snack on this muffin!  Or, you make this bag harmless!”

Grinning right back, and revealing a set of fangs that would not have been out of place in a tiger shark, Mordenheim replied, hoof over heart, “You wound me!  I was going to do that anyway.  You did not need blackmail me.  It did make it more fun, though!”

KD chuckled as she said, “I would not really have done it, Doc.  It was just too much fun to pass up the chance.  So, tell us, why did you make a bag like this?”

Reassured that we did not hold his apparent past against him, he sat back comfortably and half smiled at the memory.  “Revenge.  Count Sourbottom was being a problem, objecting to some of my experi . . . projects.   He had a whole herd of foals of all ages.  One of the youngsters had a birthday party coming up.  I set up one of these for each of them!  Loaded them with the finest, sweetest candies that I could locate.  It was a near perfect revenge.”

Always interested in more ways to get back at ponykind for their mistreatment of me in the past, I asked, “How was giving his foals candy any sort of revenge?”

Suddenly, Coalsmoke put a hoof to her lips to suppress giggles.  “Don't you see it, Grumpy?  He couldn't take them away for discipline because the bags will go right back to the foals.  Worse, the endless supply of sweets could cause all sorts of health and mouth problems that the Count would have to pay for!”

Mordenheim nodded happy agreement.  “Last that I heard, Count Sourbottom was headed for bankruptcy on dental bills alone!”

Going more serious, he offered, “KD, we may be able to save the gem topping of your muffins if we are lucky.  Would you like that?”

KD replied seriously, “That would be great, if we can do it.  I really like their flavor, especially the crushed rubies.  How can we do it?”

Doctor Mordenheim picked up the bag and headed for the outside door.  Over his shoulder, he invited, “Come outside for a simple little experiment.  We can save the gems themselves for sure.  Question is whether we can save the topping that they are in or not.”

He pointed down the yellow cobble road leading to his door.  “Now, my dear, take a muffin out of the bag but don't eat it.”

Mystified, she hoofed over the muffin.  “I understand why I have to get it out, but why not eat it?  What are we going to do with it?”

With total assurance, Doctor Mordenheim replied, “You are going to eat it but in parts.  Here, let me scrape off the topping.”  Carefully he removed the topping, taking none of the muffin itself.  “Just eat the topping.  I will hold the muffin for now.”

With obvious relish, KD did.  Licking it off her claws, she asked, “What now?  I like this test!”

“We wait a bit to see if you get gas.  If you don't, the zinc is only in the muffin part.”

KD cocked her head, brow wrinkled in concentration.  “I don't feel any gas coming on.  That usually happens pretty quick when it does.”

“I see. To finish the test, eat the rest of the muffin now.”

She did. And was soon hiccuping blasts of flame.

Nodding in confirmation, he said, “Just in the muffin then.  We can definitely save the topping for you.  Would you like just this topping or would you prefer it on something?”

  “As it happens, I do have something that it might go good on.”

Back inside, she produced a bag.  We all saw Mordenheim's nose dilate as he caught the scent.  His ears shot forward in interest.  Drool leaked out of the corner of his mouth!

“What is that lovely smelling stuff, KD?”

“Gator Chow.  I got it from Pinkie Pie over on the bridge.  She told me that it is made from smoked and flaked meat pressed into bite sized chunks.”

Both Coalsmoke and I were rolling on the floor, laughing!  Getting myself somewhat under control, I commented, “Those teeth of yours are real, aren't they, Doc?”

“Yes, they are.  Is it a problem?”

Coalsmoke, composing herself comfortably on a large cushion, replied, “Not for us.  It was just unexpected.  Looks like Pinkie is going to have to stock in more Gator Chow, is all.  

“This explains why Caramel has mentioned you eating there a lot but I haven't seen you, and I eat there too.  You eat in the back, in her carnivore plaza.”

“Right. Now, KD, those Gator Chow chunks are just about muffin sized.  That is about as big as the bag can handle.  It is time to disarm the bag for those bad muffins.”

He got a large, heavy book from the shelf.  Instead of consulting it, he held it at the ready.

“Now, KD, take the muffin out and move your paws away from the bag swiftly.”

As she did, he slammed the book down on top of the bag!  He held it down for around a whole minute.  Relaxing, he pronounced, the spell is reset. It can now be reloaded and set to anyone.  Just a sec.”

He went into the back and returned with salad tongs and a spreading knife. Selecting one of KD's chow chunks, he carefully and neatly spread the gem topping onto it.  Taking the tongs, he used them to insert the topped chow chunk into the bag.

“Now, KD, just reach into the bag and take out the snack.  That will reset the bag to you with a safe treat.  You also now know how to change treats any time that you want.”

Saying, “Thanks, Doc!”  KD fished out the treat and nibbled it down with gusto!

I was watching the whole thing with narrowed eyes that I don't really have. Thinking it over, I pointed out, “KD, whoever set you up was at the show in Manehatten.  The way it works, that spell didn't lock onto you until you took out that first muffin.

“It may be time for a contract or a bit of detective work in Manehatten. Perhaps both.”

Thoughtfully she suggested, “There is another big art show in Manehatten in a few days.  I do have a studio there with some finished pieces that I could enter if I could get there in time.  That would give us the cover that we need for detective work if we can arrive in time.”

I suggested, “If time is a problem, I could try setting up a portal between here and the Manehatten fairgrounds.  It has been a while since I studied that but it is really pretty simple magic.”

We all trooped outside and I began the really pretty basic preparations for opening a portal spell.  I did add a whole lot of “stage dressing” rituals, circles and other misdirection.  I always do.  Better showmanship and it hides what makes it work from prying eyes, even if they are watching.

A glowing circle appeared in the air, just in front of us and barely touching the ground.  Suddenly it began to grow, becoming a huge oval. Something enormous, making a steady pulsing roar and clanking like metal was coming toward us!

First, pretty high up, came a sort of short crossways tube with a hole in it on the side facing us.  The thing continued to advance.  That funny bit was attached to a long metal tube!  Down lower, some big metal plates appeared and then between them  an enormous bridge of metal. Huge wheels of steel supported endless linked plates of more steel!

As the contraption came on out, it was revealed to be a gigantic machine of some sort!  It had sloped sides up to a heavy device on top that the long tube came out of.  That had sloped sides too, as if this thing were made to bounce catapult shots off of it!  There were some serious dents and obvious repairs that made it seem that those slopes were strictly functional!

Sticking her head up out of a hatch in the top was a pony who looked for all the world like Rainbow Dash!  Reinforcing that idea was a brown pegasus with a black mane and tail clinging to the rear of the machine and calling out loudly enough to be heard over the machine's roar!

“Dashie! Stop!  You going to smash through garden wall again!  You crush Jade's herb garden again!  You so grounded!”

Dashie retorted, “I not hit wall, dad!  Big blue hole show up.  I drive through that!  Besides, last time I drive through Jade's herb garden, I fix it better than before.  She ask me to squash it again!”

“And one more thing!  Dashie, you make me good hot tea or you so grounded you need dig up for thousand year to see daylight!”

Innocently she shot back, “If I that grounded, I make you nice tea that De Writer send for me to get you!  It his idea to get it with remote control T82 Main Battle Tank!  If I NOT grounded, I MIGHT be able to find you nice green tea that he never touch!”

The brown pegasus sat hard.  “De Writer ask you to use Remote Control T82 IN CANTERLOT for that tea?  You not so grounded as I thought.”

The one identified as Dashie noticed us from her vantage point, high up in the top part of the T82.  She picked up a small boxy thing with buttons and levers and pushed one of the buttons.  The T82's loud grumbling fell quiet.

“Um, Dad, we come through portal, I think.  You not teach me that magic yet. There ponies here and a dragon.  Come around T82 and you see.  There small castle here too.”

The brown pegasus stepped around the metal monster and courteously introduced, “I Thomas the Writer.  Miscreant who drive T82 through your portal my daughter Dashie Writer.  T82 is educational toy give her by De Writer.”

Mordenheim looked up at the behemoth of steel and remarked, “Where you are from has different ideas about educational toys than any place I have ever been.”

Dashie replied, “It crazy where we from too, but what you expect from powerful wizard like De Writer?  Something safe?  He good to have on your side when trouble come, though.”

She turned about and exclaimed, “The portal gone!”

It was true.  Standing where it had been was a familiar cat otter hybrid with red hair.  She was wearing a well worn cloak of dark green and light looking chain mail.  Mithril by the look of it.  Her left arm was a prosthesis, a mechanical arm of metal that moved in an utterly natural way.  Under the cloak was the scabbard of a large sword.  In her mechanical hand was a parchment that looked like a map of some sort.

She tucked away the map in a pouch at her waist and looked about, her gaze missing nothing.  Smiling, she waived!  “Hi, Grumpy!  It's me, Wind!  We met at Ponyville Fair, remember?  I am part of Marchhare's band of Rom.   I was going to meet them at Haymarket fair, up north, but this out of control portal got in the way.  I took the liberty of closing it.”

Thomas gave Wind a strangely puzzled look.  “This world with Marchhare in it?”

She shrugged, “I wouldn't be going to meet him and his band if it wasn't!  Why?”

Speaking to Dashie, Thomas said, “This important lesson, Dashie.  How many worlds in multiverse?”

She replied, “Infinite.  Everyone and thing have infinite copies, each a little different.”  Raising her eyebrows in thought, she added, “This is a trick question, isn't it, Dad?”

“Sort of. You very quick.  Every rule have exception, right?”

Putting hoof to chin, she thought and then went wide eyed with realization! “Every rule have exception, even that rule!”

Thomas lifted his wings in pleasure.  “Right!  This ONLY world in whole multiverse that have Marchhare!  That is secret to navigation when go between worlds.”

Dashie blinked.  “What happens when he dies?”

“Nothing, Dashie.  Marchhare already dead.  Not die twice.”

We were all listening in amazement.  It was newcomer Wind who said, “That is sort of a relief.  That there is only one of my foster dad, I mean. I have met some of myself and it was not the best of experiences!”

She put her jaw in her metal hand and examined the whole situation carefully. Turning to me she asked, “Did you cast the portal, Grumpy?”

Scraping the grass where I was standing with one nonexistent forehoof and looking down, I muttered, “Afraid so.  Portals are not really my specialty.  I guess that I really messed this one up.”

Wind stepped over and lifted my glamor's head to look me in the eye.  “I am an expert with portals.  That one was really well done.  It would have worked perfectly if you had not cast it here.  The Everfree's Hidden Ways are what messed you up.

“Now, where were you trying to go?”

KD interjected, “We were aiming for the fairgrounds at Manehatten by the Sea.”

Wind nodded in a very take charge sort of way.  “I see.  That is about 6 or 7 hundred Kilometers from here.”

Leaning casually up against the iron monster called T82, Wind asked, “Does this thing have personnel and cargo railings and how fast is it, uh, Dashie?”

Dashie brightened up as she replied, “It sure does have safety railings! I use them when I give Mia and Becky rides.  It can go as far as you want.  Out in the open, it can hit 100 kilometers an hour!  How did you know about that?”

Wind gave a delicate shudder, “I have adventured on a few worlds where similar machines were used.  I saw the passenger railings on them.”

Wind smiled ingratiatingly at Thomas.  “Would you be willing to let Dashie take us all on an Adventure to Manehatten by the Sea?  It will get these nice beings where they need to go and be fun for us all.  From there, I can easily send you both back home.”

Dashie had hopped out of the top of the T82 and began releasing catches and lifting up metal railings.  They clicked as they locked into place. When she was done, she lowered a set of steep metal stairs to climb up onto the back of her “educational toy.”

Thomas watched with a skeptical lift to his right eyebrow.  “I not say we go, Dashie.”

She looked him straight back in the eye as she retorted, in front of us all, “Right.  All that you have to do is tell our hosts that you won't do something simple and fun to help them.”

“That blackmail, Dashie!”

“Right. Between you and our De Writer, I learned from the best!”

He chuckled, “OK.  We do it.”

Wind swung easily up the boarding stair and called, “All aboard for the Manehatten Express!”

KD swarmed up, found the engine vents, and curled up with a “Dibs on the warm spot!”

Coalsmoke gently pushed me toward the enormous device with, “I would love to go too, Grumpy, but I have serious business to talk over with Victor. The Princesses want to set up a program for helping wounded veterans of their armies.”

Dashie started the T82 and made a big turn.  Wind guiding her, we set out for Adventure!  And Manehatten.

Technically, we took Doctor Mordenheim's path down to the Falmire cutoff, turned south towards the junction with Royal Road 315.  For some reason, the busy traffic of Ponyville's industrial district gave way before us, even when it had the right of way!  Couldn't imagine why! Surely it had nothing to do with fifty or more tonnes of steel monstrosity charging along at a “mere” twenty kilometers per hour.

We reached the Royal Road toll booth without incident.  Almost had an incident there.  The poor booth keepers were going nuts trying to sort out the proper toll.

Pages were fluttering back and forth in their toll manuals, “It ain't a cart or wagon from any section!  Darn thing is made out of iron like a fool locomotive on the railroad!”

“I know, Jeb!  Can't even classify it by team size or set up!  It runs itself!”

Wind was sitting on the edge of the turret, which Dashie had taught us was the name for that upper part with the long pipe sticking out of it, and giggling at the small uproar.  

“When Marchhare hears about this, he will split his harness, he will laugh so hard!”

One of the toll collectors looked up at her with a beatific smile.  “You are Wind, from Marchhare's band of Rom, right?  I saw you at our fair a couple of times.”

She nodded acknowledgment, “Yes, Sir.  I am.”

He turned to his buddy and pushed the manuals shut.  “Just write Rom from Marchhare's band, toll free by Crowns Law.”

Jeb did write, though he was still trying to protest.  His superior shut him down with, “Jeb, like enough you are right.  Still, it solves OUR problem.”  He tripped the gate mechanism and the flimsy red and white painted wooden bar lifted up out of our way.

We pulled onto the Royal Road.  Besides less traffic, it was wider and better maintained than the Ponyville road we had come from.  Dashie began to open up the speed once we had clear road ahead of us.  I must say, I was impressed.  Dashie was not kidding about hitting a hundred kilometers an hour!

The T82 was fast and high enough that we had to duck shade tree branches!  A delighted KD had her sketchbook out and was rapidly drawing things from her high perspective!

Chortling, she explained, “Even as roughs, some of these will adapt to pictures for my book contract!  This is great!”

Wind steered us into one of the many waysides, making Dashie slow down and drive gently as we parked for the evening.  With assurance, she showed us where the free water and firewood were.

With a fond smile, Wind recalled, “I have camped here before, while traveling with Dad's band.  There is a small stream over in the bushes that we can get fresh fish and crawdads out of for a nice dinner.”

KD had out an easel and was busily drawing with colors.  She was doing the T82 framed by a sunset of riotous clouds and glowing light.  

She asked politely, “Wind, would you be so good as to pose there, just below the turret?  I want your metal arm just casually holding something and your sword out in your right hand, ready but not on a guard.”

Wind did pose.  It really did not take KD long at all to capture the feeling of the scene.  The way that Wind was posing, it looked for all the world like she OWNED the metal monster behind her!

Done posing, Wind stretched and began doing limbering up exercises.  With an expression of delight, and without even thinking about it, Wind began to dance and sing in a language strange to all of us.  I did recognize it from my times at the Ponyville fair, serving mainly as security for Caramel Treat's excellent food booth.  The language was Gyptian, the sort of private and held secret, nearly melodious tongue of the Rom.  I did recognize the dance.

She was treating us to the Shehan Ja Rom, their story of how the Rom came to be.  I gather that it is the oldest dance and song of the Rom.  As her dance and song finished, I remembered that the Rom did not clap for applause.  I leaned my head back and gave the loud trill that the Rom use.

Wind looked sort of startled as the others followed suit.  Embarrassed, she mumbled, “Sorry.  It was just the joy of being on the road again.”

It was KD who said it, “Don't be sorry.  It was lovely.  Is there an Equestrian translation?”

I put in, “I know that there is.  That was the famous Shehan Ja Rom.  The Rom traditionally dance and sing it in an Equestrian version to open fairs.  What I am curious about is how Wind, who is nothing like any horse or pony, came to be a Rom and of Marchhare's band at that.”

Wind sat near the fire and absently began to assemble vegetable skewers for Dashie, Thomas and I.  “I made a little mistake while adventuring. I survived it, obviously.  Mama Dragon fixed me up and sent me here, to this Equestria to finish healing and recuperate.  De Writer met me and steered me to Marchhare's band.

“Good thing, too.  One of my wounds developed a small inflammation that could have killed me.  Black Lotus, Marchhare and Hoof Dancer, his wife at the time, healed me.  Mama Dragon was wise in sending me to them for a month.  I had more than physical wounds to heal.  I joined them and learned to read, write and speak Gyptian.  Having a real caring and extended family provided the healing that I needed.  Now, I have my Freedom and I can come and go as I wish, but my family is always there for me.”

I could tell that there was a lot left out but Wind cut her tale off without harming her tail by asking, “Grumpy, will you tend these skewers for me while I go catch some fish, crawdads and a bunny or two for dinner to share with KD?”

I realized at once that besides being an adventurer, Wind was quite diplomatic.  She had just reminded the lot of us that KD had not eaten all day, except for snacks, and that both she and Wind were carnivores.  Possibly hungry carnivores.