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woodsteingirl · 3 years ago

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A case in suburbia, domestic dynamics, and a forever home. What could go wrong?

the moment i’ve been waiting for! chapter one is up now! read here or under the cut.

Cas and Dean were searching for a forever house. They had been pretty much since Cas got back from the empty. They were ready to distance themselves from hunting. Dean had always wanted a sort of suburban, white picket fence life, even if he didn’t admit it to anyone. And since he already admitted how he truly felt to Cas, why not throw his need for a domestic lifestyle into the mix. Cas was all for it. Ever since Jack had given up most of his powers to Amara, thus causing her to take his place as God and him almost human, Cas had been hoping for a place to raise him like a normal child. The bunker was great for hunting and a place for Cas, Dean, and Sam, but not so much for raising a 5-year-old kid.

House hunting had been a burden to bear, but they were making out alright. Up till this, they’d looked at about 3 other houses. They were all a no for different reasons. The first one Cas decided was in a school district that wouldn’t be good for Jack, the second didn’t have a big enough garage or backyard, and the third didn’t have enough bedrooms for all of their family to stay. With the whole credit card scam they’d been running for as long as they remember, budget wasn’t really a problem, but they didn’t want something extravagant.

There it was, 538 Chapel Street in Pine River Crossings. It wasn’t too far out of Lawrence, only a few hours' drive, and all the houses looked nice. Very cookie cutter, but that was sort of the appeal. They couldn’t guarantee that they would fit in with the traditional, upper middle-class people, but what the hell, if they could kill god they could take suburbia.

A few days passed, and they were set up to look at the home. They drove the hour and a half to the next medium-sized town with the belief in their minds that this was the one. It had all they needed, a two-car garage, a respectable school district, and two guest bedrooms. They were so caught up in this concept they made the mistake of not checking the news for the nearby areas. Once they arrived, a realtor who showed them around the dwelling greeted them. It was all they could ask for and more practically too good to be true, especially for people like them. The actual presentation of the house went over without too many problems. The person exhibiting the residence commented on how it had been on display for almost a month now, which was the first red flag. A house as nice as this, in a densely populated area, would usually not be on the market for that long in weeks unless there was some hidden con.

They signed on it not a day after seeing the house in person. It was all set up and they could officially start moving stuff in the next week. They officially shared the good news with everyone the day after they signed. Sam was beyond happy for them. Not only would he finally have a space to himself, he was proud of his brother for living the life he’d always wanted. Jack was thrilled that he would get to go to actual school and have friends that were his age and not cosmic entities. In the meantime, Cas did more research into the neighborhood. There was their hidden con. The newspaper Cas had pulled up on his phone said, “Local Couple Murdered in Own Home.”

“Dean, look at this.”

Okay, that was a setback. A murderer on the loose in the neighborhood they were moving into was not exactly what he had planned, but he had delt with worse. “Alright, that could be a problem.”

“I think it’s a little bigger than a problem,” Cas retorted.

“Is it our type of thing or just something local law enforcement could deal with?”

Cas read on in the article, “the couple was stabbed, there was no sign of forced entry, neighbors reported nothing amiss besides lights flickering before the murder. The weapon, as well as the perpetrator, was never found. No official suspects have been labeled, everyone has seemed to have an alibi.”

“It definitely sounds like our thing. Lights flickering, no breaking and entering, and all.”

They decided they could pose as residents, as it seemed perfectly normal for the newcomers to be concerned about the literal murderer on the loose. Since Cas was newly human, and Jack was, well, 5, Dean thought they might need outside help. Being out of practice to spend more time with your husband and child really had its fallbacks. Sam was off the table as backup. He was out of town and Dean didn't want to interrupt his first weekend without him in god knows how long. Plus, they needed someone who wouldn't draw too much attention to their family dynamic.

“Hey, Cas, what do you think about calling in Claire to help us with this one? You think she’d do it?”

“Calling her in for help is a good idea, whether or not shed actually do it is another question.”

“I’ll call and ask, and if she wants to help, and if not then I can think of something else.”

He kept his promise and called Claire not an hour later. He decided it might be best not to tell her it was undercover work, or that it was taking place in a white picket fence neighborhood, as that might turn her off from it almost immediately.

“Hey Claire, its been too long since we’ve talked,” he started.

“Hi Dean. what do you want, there’s no way you’re just calling to catch up if you’re starting with ‘its been too long.’”

“You got me there. I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me and Cas on a hunt. Its not too far from the bunker and we’d have you back home in a week.”

“Sure, that works. When do we start?” She hadnt seen Dean and Cas since they rescued Cas. That was over a month ago, she’d been meaning to visit, but she’d been so busy with hunting, and getting to know Kaia again now that she was finally back. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to reconnect and not miss out on anything too big back at home.

“If you could come down here by Wednesday, that’d be great.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.” She was tempted to sign off with an ‘I love you’ but she was never a lovey-dovey person in that way.

On tuesday she promised Jody she’d be extra careful and would be back in under a week. Kaia told her to make sure to call every day and update her on what was happening. Claire agreed, promising to keep in touch. She spent the rest of the day driving down to Kansas.

Back on Dean and Cas’s end, they were trying to get the house set up for 4 people when they had no furniture prior to this. Cas had always loved furniture shopping even before he had a use for it. When he worked at the Gas-and-Sip, he would browse the home improvement magazines in his spare time. Dean was pretty much the opposite. He had never had reason to care for it, so he didn't. Maybe his hatred for Swedish furniture was rooted in his deep-seated commitment issues. It didn't matter much why he hated it, he just left most of the choices up to Cas. there was then the issue of appliances and such you couldn't find in a furniture store. That was left up to him. Cas sent him out to Walmart to get things for the kitchen. That was something he could do. He picked out a mixer, some silverware, and a pioneer woman kitchenware set. It came with pots and pans, mixing bowls, and a few normal sized plates. That was enough for him to consider it an absolute steal. He brought his finds home to the bunker, setting them on the table designated for things that were to go in the new house. Jack was sitting on Cas’s lap, pointing at things on the computer.

“What’re you guys finding?” Dean asked, hovering behind Cas’s shoulder.

“Djungelskog!” Jack exclaimed, showing Dean a photo of a large stuffed brown bear.

“I thought you were looking for furniture?” Dean directed the question more at Cas, but he was still looking at Jack.

“We are. Jack just got us a bit sidetracked. We found the majority of what we need. Among other things not of as grave importance.”

Dean looked over the shopping cart and then gave the go ahead. Not before adding the stuffed bear to the cart, though.

The next day Claire arrived. Everyone was thrilled to see her. Jack ran up and threw himself around one of her legs and Cas gave her an awkward dad side hug. Dean wondered when he would tell her what the hunt would actually consist of, but he didn't want to interrupt the moment.

A few hours later, Dean fixed everyone a real dinner and had them sit down at the kitchen table. The realization dawned on him that this was going to be his last sit down meal officially living in the bunker. Everyone sort of just sat in silence for a beat. Perhaps reflecting on their own lasts of officially living there. “Claire, I sorta forgot to add this when I called you, but the case is a lot of undercover work. Also its in a suburban area.”

“And why didn't you tell me this sooner?”

“Well to speak freely, I wanted you on this case and I was worried it would make you not want to come.”

“It almost does, but i'm already here now, and i wouldn't want to waste a days driving on something i'm not actually going to do.” She guessed this would probably take longer than a week. “And i'm guessing this isn't just something you decided to do out of the goodness of your hearts?”

“We bought a house in the area, and we just wanted to make sure it was safe,” Cas explained.

“Hang on, you bought a house for real and you didnt even think to tell me? You didn't think that that was valuable information?”

“It didn't come up in our phone call,” Dean said.

“And? That’s no excuse to leave your daughter out of major life events!” The ‘daughter’ part just sort of came out without her noticing, but seconds after she said it she regretted it. God, how embarrassing.

“You’re right. We should’ve told you sooner. It was kind of a recent decision, though, so you haven’t been out of the loop for too long,” Cas said.

The next day was moving day. Dean loaded the appliances into the back of Claire’s car, since the back of the Impala was already full. Claire took her own car, while Dean, Cas, and Jack rode in Baby. Their real furniture was being delivered as they spoke. Cas offered to ride with Claire, but she assured him she’d be fine by herself. The drive wasn’t even that long, especially compared to the distance she drove yesterday.

Dean was silently nervous. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but it was written all over his face. His first real stable house, with the man he loved, and his two kids, he could only hope that he didn’t mess it up. Cas put a hand on his shoulder showing he saw how Dean was feeling.

They turned onto Chapel Street and pulled up into the driveway of the house. It somehow looked bigger and more daunting than it had during the walkthrough. Claire arrived almost ten minutes later. Everyone just sort of paused in front of the house for a minute, reveling in the stability most of them had never had.

#pspspsps you want to reblog my hard work sooo bad #supernatural #spn #castiel #dean winchester #supernatural fic #samael speaks #sammy sires

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astralaffairs · 4 years ago

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voltaire to versace 02 | thomas jefferson

title: voltaire to versace 02

pairing: professor!thomas jefferson x reader

words: 8.7k

warnings: honestly not much. sex jokes n references, dolley simping for james, broke college student meals

desc: from francis bacon to foucault, descartes to dante, your political philosophy seminar doesn’t promise to be a blowout — and yet, one mysterious stranger and a risqué evening later, your burberry-clad professor gives you the feeling it won’t be quite the snoozefest you’d expected.

tags: @lunariasilver @tinywhim @nyxie75 @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @checkurwindow @katierpblogg — let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future parts!

"Dolley, holy shit; please tell me you're already home." Y/N's words were breathless as she hurried across the quad, muttering under her breath into her phone. She'd darted out of her lecture hall the moment they'd been dismissed, having no desire to stick around for the confrontation she knew was inevitable.

"I'm just getting out of class, dear," Dolley responded, but when she continued, her words were teasing. "What sort of trouble did you manage to get yourself into while I was gone?"

"I cannot begin to explain." Y/N let out a huff, glancing over her shoulder and ducking her head as she whispered, "but it's not good."

"Oh, good lord, Y/N; I was joking." She could hear the genuine worry begin to creep into Dolley's voice and couldn't help but wince.

"Yeah, I wish I was, too." She chalked the subsequent rush of static through the line up to Dolley's sigh. "Where are you right now? Can I meet you somewhere?"

"Want to go to dinner?"

"Too broke for that."

"Packaged ramen from the drugstore on the east side of campus?"

"Now you're speaking my language." Y/N grinned, and she could only picture Dolley rolling her eyes from wherever she was. "I'll be there in a few."

"You'd better. I can't wait much longer to hear what sort of nonsense you've been up to."

"You slept with a professor?!"

"Shh, Doll; not so loud," Y/N hissed, pulling her back into the soda aisle and frantically checking for any prurient eavesdroppers. Her voice was low when she added, "It was the guy at the bar last night. I had no idea he was a professor here."

Dolley let out a dry, disbelieving laugh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This is... a mess."

"You're telling me."

"So, what's the plan going to be?"

When Dolley folded her arms, raising an amused eyebrow (a little too amused, in Y/N's humble opinion), but Y/N furrowed her brow. "What d'you mean, 'what's the plan?'"

"What are you going to do the next time you run into him?" Dolley asked. There was a pause; Y/N hadn't thought that far. "You don't really think you can make it through the semester ignoring this, do you?"

"I... Maybe? I don't know!" Y/N let out a frustrated huff. "That's what I need you to help me figure out. What else are you here for?"

"Oh, you make an excellent point," Dolley sighed. "All I do is pay half the rent and help you get laid at bars downtown."

Y/N scowled. "You helped me get laid by a professor. Just help me."

"Mmh, I don't think I heard a 'please' in there."

"Please, Dolley, my white knight to whom I owe my life," she pleaded, clutching her roommates arm and sighing wistfully. Dolley's lips were pressed into a line, but that didn't stop her smile from showing through. "I would be nothing without you; just please, do me this one final favor."

"Alright, alright," she conceded with a huff, shaking free from Y/N's grip. "Drama queen."

Y/N shrugged shamelessly. "I bring excitement into your life. Don't be ungrateful."

"Whatever you say, dear." The defeat in her words made Y/N grin. "So back to your excitement, then."

"I'm so lost," Y/N groaned, finally emerging from the soda aisle with shoulders slumped in defeat. "If the sex hadn't been so good, I'd probably just pretend it never happened."

Dolley creased her brow. "Was it really that good?"

Y/N turned to her with a serious demeanor, a hand on her shoulder as she looked her in the eye. "Dolley. I am covered in hickeys from my neck to my hips. That man damn near threw my back out. I won't bullshit you; there's no way I'm gonna be able to sit comfortably for—"

"Okay, alright! A 'yes' would've sufficed," Dolley cut her off, pushing past her to the shelf of instant noodles. Y/N looked disproportionately self-satisfied when she followed. "That's about enough details for one evening."

"You asked!"

"But you can't spend the entire semester ignoring him, Y/N," Dolley continued, ignoring her words. "That class is notoriously difficult — the only people I know who didn't frequent his office hours were the ones who got 'C's."

Y/N sighed, rubbing her temples as her roommate pushed cup after cup of beef ramen into her basket. "So then shouldn't I just put this whole thing behind me? I can't really start asking him to help me analyze Kant if I open the conversation with, 'hey, good to see you again, you're almost as good at teaching as you are in bed.'"

Dolley laughed at her dry tone. "I don't mean that, of course."

"Then what do you mean?"

"If you never agree to put this all behind you, I think it's going to be on both of your minds for the rest of the semester," she said matter-of-factly, hesitating when the freezer at the side of the room caught her gaze. "Should we pick up pizza rolls, too?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course we should," Y/N scoffed, brushing past her toward the Totino's section. "But if he and I both just ignore it, wouldn't that be an easier way to put it behind us?"

"Oh, grab a bag of the cheeseburger flavor, would you?" Dolley leaned in to look over Y/N's shoulder, ignoring her words altogether, and she glanced back with a raised eyebrow.

"Can you focus for five seconds?" She dropped three bags of pizza rolls — pepperoni flavor — into her basket with a huff. "Anyway, the cheeseburger flavor is disgusting. Get some taste."

"Don't discount the nostalgia of it!"

"Dolley." Y/N fixed her with a pointed look, and she sighed.

"We both know ignoring it is a poor idea, even if it is the easier option." Dolley didn't waste a second in pushing right past Y/N when she stood, grabbing a bag of the cheeseburger pizza rolls (an oxymoron in itself, as Y/N would've told her) before the freezer door could fall shut. "Just talk to him after class one day. Don't make it take more than five minutes."

"I don't even know where I'd start with that. I've dealt with awkward fallout from one-night stands before, but never with a professor." Her footsteps stalled within the last yard of the frozen section. "I've just gotta ignore it and focus on the coursework, Dolley. Wanna get some Ben and Jerry's?"

"Are you trying to distract me with a pint of chocolate fudge brownie?" Dolley asked incredulously, before adding, "Because it's working. Let's get two."

She grinned. "Excellent."

Y/N figured that was the end of it, that two pints of ice cream and an incredibly vague game plan would be enough to satiate her friend for the time being, but after they checked out, trying to figure out how many meals they could extend one pack of ramen to (because, really, if you just add more water, doesn't it make the servings bigger?), Dolley felt the need to return to it as they walked through the sliding glass exit doors, her words holding an air of finality.

"If you really want to insist on not just communicating with the poor man, Y/N, then fine." Y/N raised a quizzical eyebrow, not yet following where Dolley had abruptly turned the trajectory of their conversation. "But after his lecture on Wednesday, when you realize that leaving the subject untouched just makes it more unbearable—" ("'When'?" Y/N muttered dubiously.) "—then I need you to agree to go talk to your professor."

Dolley didn't wait for her response, squinting at the nutrition facts on the ramen labels as her focus drifted elsewhere (sure, it said two servings, but she was fairly sure that only the bourgeoise couldn't have stretched it to three), but Y/N let out a surrendering sigh.

"Wednesday's going to be just fine," she said, realizing but not caring that Dolley was no longer listening. "But if it isn't, I'll talk to him."

- -

Wednesday was not 'just fine.'

Y/N spent the entire class on edge, trying futilely not to let her thoughts drift back to the other night in the bar, then on the street in front of her building, then in the elevator, in her living room, even in the kitchen— but no, she was getting off track. Little did she know, Thomas was having precisely the same issue.

She jotted down his words almost robotically, the meaning of them going into one ear and out the other, more focused on the sound of his voice than on what he was actually saying.

Only once did she manage to focus for long enough to actually process a thought, but when he was fielding questions about the material, Thomas conveniently managed to miss her having raised her hand from where she was seated. She supposed she'd just positioned herself too far back and thought no more of it.

Despite how 'not fine' that day had been, she dismissed it as a fluke, showing up the next Monday with her head on straight, her readings prepared and annotated, and took a seat several rows further forward. Her motivation may have been misplaced, leaning a bit too far toward wanting to impress her professor and not far enough toward a desire to understand the material, but she was familiar enough with the content to feel comfortable giving her input on the questions he posed to the class throughout the lecture.

Again, her efforts bore no fruit. Her notes were better that day, so that was certainly something to count as a plus, but she left feeling put-out by the fact that she hadn't even had a chance to participate. Usually, she wouldn't have been so perturbed by this — sitting through a Socratic seminar playing tetris on her laptop was no unfamiliar experience — but this class accounted for six of the twelve credit hours she still needed for her chosen major. She didn't suppose that it'd be a good look to have the class dragging down her GPA to be the same one she was supposedly most passionate about; generally speaking, that wasn't what graduate schools were looking for.

Besides, she liked the subject, too. Surely that had to count for something?

And that was how she kept pushing off the inevitable conversation with Thomas — sorry, Professor Jefferson — and coming up with increasingly creative excuses as to why her efforts were being so plainly ignored, not only that following Wednesday, too, but also the Monday and Wednesday after. She'd made it through three weeks of classes before she could finally work up the nerve to confront him.

Unfortunately, that task proved to be no easier than her previous one.

Thom— her professor was always the last one into the lecture hall and the first one out, leaving no opportunities for chatter, or in her case, a supposedly inevitable clash she'd already begun arming herself for. She'd nearly caught him in the halls at various times, but he always seemed to have somewhere he urgently needed to be. The same doctrine followed in his office hours; apparently, another student had scheduled a meeting with him three minutes after every single time she arrived, without fail, so could she please just come back another time? Surely, another time would be better for both of them.

That time never came.

It was near the end of the fourth week that she was entirely fed up. They'd moved from Kant to Machiavelli, and so far, The Prince had her ready to tear her hair out. It didn't help that they'd all just finished the book, their first paper of the year on it due the next Monday.

She was far past lying to herself about her motives being purely academic while she continued to privately just want his attention — no, by then, she was hopped up on forty ounces of sugary coffee and just a touch of RedBull, and she hardly had a thesis for her paper. She'd read the same passages time and time again — she likely could've recited them word-for-word by the time she demanded feedback — and any shallow, vain desires for recognition were the furthest thing from her mind. She needed a professor, and she was pissed that Thomas didn't seem to have any interest in acting like one.

It was late Thursday evening when she marched across the green from the library to the building that housed his office in a fury. Yes, it was the last week of January; yes, the entire city was still coated in snow, but no, she could not bring herself to care about the very real possibility of frostbite as she trudged through the snow in sweatpants, slippers, and a tank top. Practicality wasn't her priority. Finishing her paper was.

Thomas's office hours were from 7 to 10 PM every evening, a schedule he stuck to religiously. It was 9:24 when Y/N began tracking snow through the bottom floor of his building, and 9:31 when she finally managed to locate and reach his actual office.

It was reluctant when she finally knocked, struggling to resist the urge to simply bust in and rip him a new one, but to her relief, it was simply met with a 'come in.' That was when she threw the door open in a fit of annoyance.

"You've been avoiding me," she said, eyes narrowed and tone accusatory before he could so much as react to her presence.

"Y/N, I—" His eyes were wide; he seemed to be at a loss for words as his eyes drifted down to her sweatpants and Hello Kitty slippers. He couldn't have convinced her it wasn't a dignified look even if he'd tried. "What are you doin' here?"

"We need to talk." She dropped her bag into one of the chairs in front of his desk, though she chose not to take a seat, instead glaring down at him, arms folded.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, and though his head was down, his shadow of a grimace told her everything she needed to know: he'd been dreading this conversation far more than she had. "Look, right now really isn't a great time. I've got—"

"Don't bullshit me, Thomas."

"Professor Jefferson," he corrected her, the words hissed through gritted teeth, and she huffed, rolling her eyes.

"My bad. Don't bullshit me, Professor Jefferson." Y/N scowled as she took another step towards him. "Your office hours don't end until ten. There's no way you have time for a meeting between now and then if you haven't already started one."

He let out a heavy sigh. "Alright. Alright, fine. And I know what you're gonna say, but—"

"Do you really?" she challenged him, head cocked to one side. "Because the fact that you haven't given me one chance to speak to you in almost a month tells me pretty clearly that you don't. Generally, you find out what people have to say by listening to them."

"We can't have this conversation here. You've gotta come find me some other time." The urgency in his voice only served to infuriate her further. What right did he have to be dictating this when he'd tried to stop the conversation altogether?

"Oh, believe me, I've tried," Y/N huffed. "I'm done accommodating. If you wanted to talk about this some other time, I would've been happy to, but we're well past that."

He held her burning gaze warily for another moment, but she didn't let up. Finally, he sighed. "Fine. Say your part. I'm listenin'."

"You've been completely freezing me out. You haven't been answering my questions in classes; you haven't been letting me contribute to discussions; you, most recently, haven't let me talk to you for more than five seconds, hence why I'm here." She launched into an irate monologue without any further encouragement, and to his credit, Thomas at least had the decency to look guilty. "You've been turning me away at your office hours; for fuck's sake, Thomas, you haven't even answered any of my emails!"

"I know, I know," he said, and though she could see the exhaustion written across his face, she didn't let him continue. "But you've gotta understand—"

"I'm not done," she cut him off, and it was then that he raised an affronted brow. "Anyway, I get why you're keeping your distance. Really, I do. And honestly? I can't really blame you for it."

"Well, great, so—"

"But with that said," —she gave Thomas an expectant look as she continued to speak over him, challenging him to try and interrupt— "You've been doing more than keeping your distance. You've been outright ignoring me, and that's where I'm drawing a line in the sand. Refusing to engage with me doesn't help either of us."

She let out a heavy breath when she finally reached the end of her rant, and though he was certainly taken aback, Thomas looked unimpressed.

"May I speak now?" he asked mockingly, and she scowled. "Or are you just gonna keep cuttin' me off?"

"Depends how much bullshit comes out of your mouth."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure." He put his pen back into the cup on the edge of the desk before drawing himself up to the fullest height he could reach in a rolling chair. With how he was looking at her, with how cross his tone was, Y/N may have backed down in another context, but quite frankly, she was beyond having anything to lose. "I understand that you're hurt, Y/N, and for that, 'm honestly sorry, but—"

"I'm not hurt, I'm ticked!"

"Y/N." That time, his hard voice, his barely-contained anger, did make her shrink away, just a bit. "You've gotta realize that what happened is in the past. It was a mistake. I didn't know you were a student here — you even told me you went to school in Chicago."

"I did, for two years."

"Doesn't matter. Moral of the story is that you've gotta leave that in the past. I'm your professor now, and that's a boundary that can't be crossed. We both need to stop dwellin' on it." His saying 'we' rather than 'you' certainly didn't go unnoticed, but Y/N deemed it not worth addressing.

"Great. It's behind us. Can you stop ignoring me now?"

"Come on, Y/N—"

"Seriously? You're gonna argue with that?" She threw her hands up in a huff, beyond exasperated and crossing the line to indignance. "You wanna remind me that you're my professor? Then stop acting like I don't exist. It's that simple, Thomas."

"It's Professor Jefferson. And I'm not tryin' to ignore you," he defended. "But don't you see the position this puts me in? My job's at stake here. This can never happen again!"

"And who said I wanted it to?" she bit back immediately, and for just a moment, Thomas was rendered silent.

"If that's not what you're lookin' for, then what are you here for?" His voice was quiet, his gaze searching, and Y/N sighed.

"Seriously? I haven't made myself clear enough?" She raised an eyebrow, but his blank look told her all she needed to know. The tension in her shoulders dropped; her combative stance went neutral when she reached into her bag, pulling it from the chair in front of his desk. "You're the one who keeps emphasizing that you're my professor — and that's what I need you to be right now."

He raised an eyebrow, clearly lost as she withdrew Machiavelli's The Prince from her bag, beaten up and slathered in colored tabs around the edges. She added in a small voice, "I've been struggling with the reading. I did it all, but there are just a couple passages that... I need help with."

Thomas — no, Professor Jefferson (god, was she ever going to struggle with getting that down) — looked stunned, plain and simple. Y/N had expected all of his assumptions for why she'd shown up there. Two weeks earlier, they may have also been accurate ones, but ultimately, she was still just a student. He'd really had to have had a big head to think he'd take priority over that for any extended period of time.

His eyes were wide. He continued to look toward her, but his gaze was blank, slowly drifting to his desk, until finally, he sighed. "Well, shit. I, uh... I'm really sorry, Y/N. Really." If the growing guilt behind his shock hadn't been clear enough in his demeanor, it was woven tightly into his voice. His stare flickered back up to her, and despite her lingering irritation, the apology in it softened her. "I got so caught up in my own problems that I didn't even consider. I didn't mean to assume that you... y'know."

"Came here to try and get dicked down?" Y/N supplied, voice dry as she watched him expectantly. He cracked a sheepish smile.

"Somethin' like that."

"As though it'd be worth the effort," she snorted. "There are, like, thirty frats on campus, and I have a paper due Monday — in case you'd forgotten. If I wanted to get laid, I'd do it much more efficiently."

"Mm, but would it be as good?" At the clear ego in Thomas's playful stare, Y/N's eyebrows shot toward her hairline.

"Now who's crossing boundaries?"

Despite the skepticism in her voice, Thomas laughed. "'M just kiddin'. Promise."

"Hilarious." Her small, persistent smile undermined her sarcasm, and his gaze was soft.

"Alright, alright, come take a seat. Show me which pages you're strugglin' with."

"Yeah, so it's less full pages and passages than it is key phrases I just can't seem to connect to the rest of the work." Y/N lowered herself into the chair that wasn't already holding her bag as she flipped open her book to her third pink tab, turning it to show him. "Like, here. Chapter 19."

"Mhm."

"I understand what the whole page is getting at, but look at this..."

They sank easily into the text, despite being focused more on one another's voices than on the writing itself. Ten PM had long since come and gone, but as the night stretched on, the pair only continued to pass Y/N's book back and forth, bouncing from passage to passage, idea to idea as though no time had passed at all. Neither of them bothered to check any sort of a clock until Y/N let out a loud, drawn-out yawn. Thomas raised an eyebrow.

"You gettin' tired?" Y/N gave a halfhearted shrug as he finally checked his watch, and his eyes widened. "Shit, it's past eleven. We should get you outta here."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right." Her voice was weary as she lifted herself out of her seat, tucked her book back into her bag. "I've got everything I need for my paper, anyway."

"Glad to hear it." Thomas reached for his coat as she made her way to the door, but she paused when he asked, "You're not thinkin' of walkin' home, are you?"

She glanced back over her shoulder. "What if I am?"

Thomas furrowed his brow. "Tell me that's a joke. That's gotta be a joke." Y/N shrugged, and Thomas groaned lightly. "In that outfit, you freezin' and gettin' abducted are equally likely, you know that?"

"Aw, thanks for letting me know! Now I feel so much safer," she said, plastering on a mocking smile.

"Lemme call you an Uber," he offered, and Y/N quirked a brow.

"Are you that much of a one-trick pony?"

"If makin' sure women get home safe is my only trick, I think it's a pretty good one to have," he said matter-of-factly, and Y/N had to laugh.

"I can appreciate that. An Uber would be great." Y/N pulled her bag up her shoulder as she returned to his door. "I'll see you Monday?"

"Mhm. Your driver's named Amy, and she's drivin' a blue Camry, by the way," Thomas informed her, and Y/N smiled. "G'night, Y/N."

"Night, professor."

From then on, Y/N began frequenting Thomas's office hours, only hesitantly at first. While her motives were genuine, all of them being centered around getting into grad school, she didn't want to become overbearing, especially with the one night, the sixteen stolen hours that still hung over their heads. She stopped by twice the following week, neither time staying long as other students began to trickle in, peeking nervously around the corner toward his office, knocking so quietly at first that neither Thomas not Y/N realized someone was there. She didn't need him any more than her classmates did, so she yielded her time gracefully.

Moreover, she knew that only very little of the time he offered to students wasn't already occupied, and while the reason for that was certainly clear to her, she wasn't sure whether it'd gone over his head. It wasn't until the fourth time she went to meet with him that she found he was every bit as aware as everyone else.

"Hey, Thom—" Y/N cut herself off with a wince. "Professor Jefferson, you around?" she called down the hall to his office, nose still buried in the email from the anthropology department that she'd pulled up on her phone (apparently they were having a bake sale on the east green; Y/N didn't bother to read further and learn why once she saw they'd have caramel brownies). She only glanced up when she didn't receive an answer, instead hearing chatter drift down the hall, and her footsteps slowed as she neared his doorway. Her eyebrows shot up.

Y/N recognized the woman seated — well, hardly still seated, at that point — with her back to her as Lucy Hart, who sat front and center during every single one of their lectures, who was now all but draping herself across Thomas's desk, leaned onto her forearms and with a pen between her teeth.

Though she seemed to find whatever Y/N had just missed to be hilarious, Thomas's amusement was forced, uneasy as he eased his hand away from where hers had fallen to cover it, holding the book open by one of its ends.

"Alright, Miss Hart, we'll see." Whatever the question was, Thomas wasn't about to give her a straight answer, but Lucy seemed to take that as a challenge. Her cleavage finally spilled back into the neckline of her dress when she sat back in her seat, but she traced one finger up Thomas's forearm.

"I guess we will," she replied. She hadn't seemed to have caught on to how wildly uncomfortable she was making him — Y/N could only assume Lucy had decided she'd left him 'flustered.' She reached for his copy of Hobbes's Leviathan, her perfectly manicured fingers brushing over his as she did so. "Now, where were we?"

Ahem.

From the angle they were seated at, neither Thomas nor Lucy had noticed Y/N standing in the doorway, an eyebrow raised — when she cleared her throat, though, they both jumped. Their reactions to her presence couldn't have been more disparate. The relief written deep in Thomas's tiny smile was obvious, but Lucy was looking her over with a scowl.

"Hey," Y/N finally said, taking a step forward. "I hope I'm not interrupting?"

"'Course not." It was Professor Jefferson who answered, tone formal and body language neutral, but how quickly he'd answered, overtly cutting off Lucy, told Y/N she wasn't misreading the situation. "What can I do for you, Y/N?"

"Yeah, Y/N," Lucy furthered, eyeing her dubiously. "Why are you here?"

Y/N's gaze flickered between the pair of them, the tension in Thomas's shoulders subtle but clear as he inched his arm further from Lucy's. "Last I checked, Professor Jefferson, we had a meeting scheduled for right about now."

Her smile was genuine despite how Thomas knit his dark brow; she hadn't yet moved past finding the ordeal wildly entertaining. "Do we?"

"I thought so," she added with a shrug, and when her pointed gaze fell to Lucy, who still looked irate sitting in the small tufted chair across from him, Thomas sighed, and Y/N felt confident it'd been a sigh of relief. He seemed to have realized the escape rope she'd thrown into his lionness's den. "Unless I got the time wrong? It could've been tomorrow evening, I—"

"No, no you're in the right," he cut her off a little too adamantly, and though she'd already begun to dig through her phone for the nonexistent calendar event, she looked up with her eyebrows raised. "'S my bad. I took the timing down wrong."

Y/N had to bite down her self-satisfied smile. "Are you sure? Because really, we can reschedule; I'm also available—"

"No. Now's just fine," he assured her, and the indignant look Lucy shot him had the beginnings of a smile creeping past Y/N's innocent mask. "Made a promise, and it'd be only right to keep it, wouldn't it?"

"It is your responsibility to model integrity, professor."

"Then I guess I've gotta make sure I don't give anybody the wrong idea."

Y/N wasn't sure whether the words, 'the wrong idea' were pointed at her or at Lucy, or whether they were even pointed at all, with her simply reading too far into a nonexistent subtext to take them at face value. She didn't dwell much longer.

"Well, thanks for stoppin' by, Miss Hart—" Vindication flashed in Y/N's eyes when she noticed his electing not to use Lucy's first name. "—I hope all this discussion's deepened your understandin' of Hobbes's view on human nature."

"Oh, I've learned quite a bit about human nature," Lucy said as she stood, and Thomas's discomfort hadn't faded. Y/N was struggling to comprehend what about her words possibly justified her tone being so suggestive. "I hope I can come back another night for you to teach me a little more of it, Thom— oh! I mean, Professor Jefferson."

She glanced bashfully at Y/N with her final few words, her sheepish front fooling no one. Y/N wasn't sure to what end, but this was a clear ploy for her jealousy — she'd been around the block once or twice. Y/N genuinely struggled to contain her amusement as Lucy shot him a wink before turning to leave, exaggerating the movements of her hips. The door fell shut behind her.

It wasn't until Lucy's footsteps were out of earshot that Thomas let out a heavy sigh, sinking down in his chair, and Y/N let out the laugh she'd spent the past ten minutes swallowing.

"So, Lucy Hart, huh? That's who you've been spending all your alleged 'office hours' with?" she started, and Thomas's glare was weak.

"C'mon, Y/N."

"Is that why your door's locked half the times I show up here? Today wasn't very subtle, you know."

"Y/N." His voice was hard when he gave her a pointed look, but with how tired he looked, she didn't push it further, just smiled.

"Relax; I'm just kidding." She shrugged off her jacket. "I know that if you were to sleep with a student, it wouldn't be Lucy. Don't worry."

He raised his eyebrows at her audacity, her smug grin, but he couldn't prevent the amusement that showed through to his expression. "Really? You're gonna go there?"

"Go where?" When she knit her brow, plastered on a confused frown, Thomas had to swallow his laugh. "Now, I'm just not sure what you're implying, professor. Do you plan on sleeping with Lucy?

"Hilarious, Y/N." His rolling his eyes left her undeterred. "In all seriousness, though, I think she really believes she is bein' subtle."

"Unfortunately, I'm well aware," Y/N sighed. "I've seen her at a few too many parties to have any illusions about what a painfully tactless flirt she is."

"You're tellin' me."

"Has it been like this all semester?" she asked. Sure, Y/N had seen how shameless Lucy was during lectures, leaving no stone unturned to draw attention to herself, but this seemed a new level of egregious. Yet, Thomas nodded.

"Once a week, every week. Least, when it isn't more than that."

"Sometimes it's more?" Y/N let out a breathy, disbelieving laugh, and Thomas nodded his solemn confirmation. "Jesus. So this is why you look pissed every time she participates in class. I figured you just hated the sound of her voice as much as I do."

"Believe me; I've been startin' to."

"That's so harsh!"

"Aw, c'mon, and you wouldn't?"

Y/N shrugged, pursed her lips, but her eyes glinted with hubris. "Well," she said, "It'd depend on how hot the student was. I mean, in my opinion, if Lucy was me, it just might be a different story."

Thomas couldn't bring himself to look annoyed. "Yeah, yeah. Alright," he said, shaking his head at her words. "You think you're fuckable. I get it."

"Glad we agree." Y/N's lips quirked up into a smug smile, but Thomas raised his eyebrows.

"Hang on, now. That's not quite what I—"

"But if she's really bothering you," Y/N continued, altogether disregarding his protests, and Thomas sighed. "You know you could just, like, talk to Lucy about it, right? You're the one with the power, here."

She couldn't put her finger on exactly why he winced at the latter sentence.

"Guess so, I just... I dunno. 'S really no big deal; I'm just gettin' fed up with all that." He gave a halfhearted shrug that made her raise an eyebrow. "But don't worry 'bout that. Why're you here, if not for the meetin' we've supposedly got scheduled for tonight?"

His tone was light, playful with the question, but Y/N was still stuck on what he'd started with. "Hold on; you can't just deflect that easily."

"Deflect from what?" He furrowed his brow, but Y/N just huffed, walking toward the near side of his desk.

"From whatever you're getting 'fed up with all of,'" she said, and when she eyed him skeptically, his fatigued sigh told her she wasn't imagining things. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah, sure, join me." Thomas beckoning her toward his empty chairs was almost absentminded. "But really, it's nothin'."

"No offense, but I don't know if I believe you." As she sank down into one of his guest's seats, a conflicted look flickered across his gaze, building further on the concern in her words. "What's up? C'mon; talk to me."

He hesitated. "'M serious, Y/N; it's not—"

"Thomas."

He raised an eyebrow, but it took her a moment to notice her own error. "Excuse me?"

"Professor Jefferson, I mean. Of course." Her smile was sheepish, but it just made him chuckle.

"Alright, alright. 'S nothin' serious, anyway, but 'm just gettin' sick of not bein' taken seriously."

Y/N's words were hesitant as she raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? People take you seriously."

"Mm, but do they?" He sighed as he sat back in his chair. "I'm the youngest professor on campus; half my office hours are taken up by undergrads hittin' on me. It's hard to feel like I'm gettin' a lot of respect when you don't even treat me like a professor."

"Hey, come on, I respect you," she defended, and he shook his head.

"I don't mean you, specifically, Y/N. Just... your whole class. I'm already hardly old enough to be teachin' at a university, but it also kinda sucks to see how many people pretend to care about learnin' just to get my attention," he said, and his voice was soft. His quiet sigh made Y/N frown, especially as his absent gaze wandered through his own office.

"I'm sorry," she said, and he glanced back over to her. "Keep in mind, though, you made the first move on me. Not the other way around."

Despite her having been entirely serious, her words made Thomas laugh — a full-bodied laugh, too, one that couldn't help but make her smile in return. "Thanks for lettin' me know," he said, and though she rolled her eyes at his sarcastic tone, she was glad to see him lightening up. "Sorry to say it, sweetheart, but not everything's about you."

Neither noticed his casual term of endearment. "What a shame," Y/N sighed.

"Mm, I'm sure. I guess I just..." When he trailed off, Y/N raised a brow, and the concerned look in her eyes was what prompted him to continue. "I know I'm smart, 'n all, but it never feels great to feel discounted. Especially bein' new to the faculty."

"I hear that," Y/N said, her tone light but gaze solemn. "For what it's worth, I do come to your office for help because I know you can and want to provide it, not because I have some ulterior motive."

"Glad to hear it." Though his tone almost suggested he may have been being facetious, Y/N could tell that he wasn't making fun. "But on that note, thanks for givin' me an out with the Lucy fiasco. What'd you need, comin' here?"

Y/N's smile was small, all but apologetic as she unzipped her bag after pulling it into her lap. "Right. So, I know this isn't your job, and all..."

When she trailed off, Thomas eyed her suspiciously, especially as her lips only seemed to stretch further into a grin. "What's this about?"

"Is there any chance you'd be willing to read over my paper for my constitutional law seminar?" At the hopeful look she wore as she withdrew her printed essay from her bag, he had to laugh.

"Really? You're not even here for somethin' about my class?"

"Yes or no, professor?" She raised a brow, waving the packet back and forth expectantly.

"And why'd you decide to come see if I'd look through it? What makes you think I'm gonna?"

"You read over my French paper last week!" she pointed out, and Thomas sighed.

"Yeah, 'cause I speak French."

"You speak English, too. And you worked in government." Y/N shrugged, putting the paper down on his desk regardless. "So, please? I'd ask my roommate, but she's studying business, and you must know how that goes."

"You trashin' on business majors?" Thomas raised an eyebrow.

"If I was, would I be wrong?"

Her deadpan stare made him laugh. "Can't argue with that. Give it here."

He held his hand out for the essay, and she gave it to him with a wide grin. "You're the best."

"What else is new?" he asked, and despite how dry his tone was, his eyes were teasing. "You wanna go through it with me now, or should I get it back to you some other time?"

"Any chance we can go over it now?" she asked. "It might sort of be due in two days."

His eyebrows shot up. "Are you tellin' me I'm some kinda last resort?"

"Of course not!" she defended, but she hesitated before continuing, "Just an eleventh-hour supplementary resource who's going to help me get a diploma."

"I'm sure," he said, and the skeptical look he gave made the corners of her lips twitch. "You owe me, y'know that?"

"Really. I should start paying you, one of these days."

"To be fair, you do pay my salary."

"Mm, maybe some students do, but I wouldn't be so sure about that if I were you."

Thomas furrowed his brow, confusion permeating every aspect of his expression as he looked back at her. "What, you 'n Elizabeth Warren linked up in a personal campaign for free college?"

"No, but the president of financial aid and I did." She shrugged. "Honestly, they saved my ass. Sorry I'm not raising your salary, or anything, but I hardly pay to go here."

When he slowly nodded, she could see the small, subtle smile tugging at his lips. "I'll try not to hold it against you. 'M glad you ended up here anyway."

Y/N's grin was exaggerated, a fact she did nothing to conceal. "Aww, professor, I knew you secretly liked having me here."

He rolled his eyes, but his smile mirrored hers. "I meant that I'm glad that money isn't holdin' you back from gettin' a good education."

"I'm sure you did."

Thomas cocked a brow. "D'you want me to read your paper or not?"

At his words, Y/N had to bite back her cocky grin, and she nodded. "Yes, please."

"Then get off your high horse 'n listen." Despite his words, amusement sat heavy in the way he was skeptically eyeing Y/N.

"Of course, professor."

"It's been shockingly chill."

Y/N was sprawled out on the carpet of her living room, a styrofoam cup of ramen in one hand and chopsticks in the other, while Dolley sat curled up at the end of the couch flipping through Netflix on their TV.

"No lingering sexual tension?" Dolley challenged, glancing down to where Y/N was slurping her noodles (she'd asserted that ramen on the couch was too high of a stain risk). Y/N shook her head, and Dolley raised an eyebrow. "Really? No secret desire to end up bent over his desk?"

"Okay, listen, what I want and what I act on are two very different things." She pointed her chopsticks at Dolley accusatorily. "I can have it both ways."

"So you're still looking for another night of fun?" Dolley raised a playful eyebrow, and Y/N only grinned.

"Are you offering?"

"I could be convinced, dear." The wink Dolley sent her made Y/N laugh, broth sloshing down the side of her cup that she didn't hesitate to lick off of the back of her hand.

"Mhm, because my sex appeal is through the roof, I'm sure."

"Alright, I'll confess. I am only joking, after all," Dolley sighed, a wistful look in her eyes as she scrolled through the Netflix TV dramas category. "But only because things with James are going better than I expected."

Y/N's eyes widened; she spun in her spot on the floor. "Dolley, oh my God, spill! You've been holding out on me."

"There's not much for me to spill, really." She shrugged, and the smile she wore was coy. "He and I have just been getting on well. Nothing more to it."

"No. Uh-uh." Y/N shook her head, setting her near-empty instant ramen onto their coffee table. "You're gonna give me more than that. You have to. Clearly something's been happening."

Dolley bit her lip. "So, would we rather watch Stranger Things or The Good Place?"

"Don't you dare change the subject!"

"Alright, alright," she finally sighed, and her gaze was soft when she finally met Y/N's eyes. "So, we've been seeing each other more often. Getting coffee, grabbing lunch between classes. He's even had me read over different drafts of his thesis."

"Aww, he's using you as an editor? How romantic!"

"Make fun all you want, but he trusts me with it. Isn't that worth something?"

"Of course it is, Doll." Y/N smiled, unable to tease Dolley further when she had such a sappy look in her eyes. "But if you've been dating, why am I just finding out?"

She didn't meet Y/N's gaze, fiddling with the cuffs of her sleeves. "We haven't been going on dates, really."

"Oh yeah? This is how you talk about hanging out with everyone else you aren't dating?" The challenge in Y/N's tone made her scoff, roll her eyes, but they both knew she had a point.

"It's nothing official."

"But do you want it to be?" Y/N quirked a brow. Dolley's smile was faint.

"Maybe a little," she said quietly, and Y/N's grin broadened.

"That's adorable. I'm thrilled for you," she said, but there was a heavy pause before she hesitantly added, "but be careful with him."

Dolley furrowed her brow, finally turning toward where Y/N sat. "What d'you mean?"

"You have a habit of quickly getting attached to men who turn out to be terrible for you. Remember Henry?"

"Knox or Clay?"

"Either. You're making my point." Y/N gave her a knowing look, but Dolley didn't seem overly offended. "You're just too quick to give people the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone deserves it."

"But that's what you love about me, dear."

"Don't you turn my undying love and affection for you against me!" Y/N protested, and though she rolled her eyes, Dolley appeared to be entertained. "I adore you for what a sweetheart you are, but it's also what men take advantage of."

"Yes, I know; you've given me this talk before," Dolley sighed. "But really, I think this time might be different. I really like James."

Y/N pursed her lips. "It'd better be. Otherwise he's gonna have hell to pay."

"I'm not too worried."

"I am."

"Would you feel better if I gave you a chance to screen him?" Y/N raised an interested eyebrow at Dolley's words. "Because I invited him to come over Wednesday night for dinner. If you'd like, it'll be a prime time for you to interrogate him."

She sighed. "I dunno, Doll. I don't want to third wheel."

"You live here. You won't be third-wheeling," Dolley pointed out. "And you wouldn't have to stay! You could just pop in, say hello, and either leave or just go wait him out in your room."

A small smile grew across Y/N's lips at her words. "And you'll seriously let me interrogate him?"

"Have at it."

"I'm in."

Dolley 🥺💋 sent: James is coming over in five minutes, so get home whenever

Dolley 🥺💋 sent: unless of course you've decided to grant him your tacit approval

Y/N sent: be home soon 😪

Dolley 🥺💋 sent: see u 😘

"Y/N?"

It was Wednesday evening, around 6 PM. Y/N's political philosophy seminar had just been let out, but she'd really spent most of her focus over the past three hours on figuring out exactly how to determine whether or not James was a piece of shit. Apparently he was bringing takeout to her and Dolley's apartment for all three of them, which she saw to be a point in his favor.

However, as her classmates filed out of the lecture hall, Y/N stood idly, taking hesitant steps forward out of her row as she tried to multitask, neither eager to stop texting Dolley or to trip all the way down the steps to the front of the room. It was Professor Jefferson who knocked her out of the reverie that'd been induced by the promise of James delivering what she imagined to be the best food she'd had in weeks.

She looked up with a brow raised, tucking her phone back into her pocket. "Hey, professor."

"You have a second to talk?"

"Oh, um..." Despite her deep-seated motivation to get home before dinner was cold, she supposed it could wait just a little longer. She nodded. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

She pulled her bag onto her shoulder as she stepped out onto the hall's staircase, maybe three rows up from where Thomas stood at the bottom floor.

He leaned nonchalantly against the first row of desks. "So, the TA I've had since first semester's leavin' in a week or two. He's goin' abroad to South Korea for the fourth quarter, 'n he's decided to resign from bein' my assistant at the end of this week, so that he can make sure he's got everything in order for the next three months."

She frowned. "That's too bad. I'm sorry to hear it." She folded her arms, paused before adding, "So what, you want me to break the news to the class that we aren't getting those papers on the Enlightenment back anytime soon?"

At her quirked brow, her playful smile, Thomas had to give a light laugh. "Mm, I'm hopin' it won't come to that."

"You should probably get to grading instead of keeping me from dinner, then."

"Oh, 'm sorry; how dare I, really?" He responded, a hand over his heart, and she had to bite back her entertained smile at the irony in his indignance.

"Honestly. I can't imagine why I put up with it."

"I'll make it up to you," he said dryly. "But seriously, 'm not just tellin' you that for the sake of small talk. What I'm sayin' is that I have an openin' to find a new TA."

"I see," she said, raising an eyebrow. "And where, pray tell, do I come into all this?"

It wasn't that his train of thought was hard to follow, nor was his implication, but until he said it outright, Y/N had no desire to make any sort of an assumption.

He smiled. "You have any interest in becomin' a TA?"

"Seriously?" She furrowed her brow. "I mean, I appreciate it, but why?"

"First off, your work's consistently at the top of this class," he said matter-of-factly. They both knew she was well aware of this, after the hours in his office she'd spent grilling him on the historical context of every one of Voltaire's assertions and the implications of every early revolution. "You're a good writer, 'n you're more than capable of reviewin' other students' work. You've also already taken most of the other classes I teach, so you're familiar with all the material."

She nodded slowly, folding her arms, and though her expression would've conveyed that she was deep in thought, she couldn't suppress her growing smile. "I see. So it doesn't have anything to do with how attractive or charming I am?"

When she raised a playful eyebrow, he laughed outright. "Whenever your charm can start gradin' thirty ten-page papers a day, I'll start takin' it into account."

"Don't underestimate it."

"Alright, alright, I'll keep it in mind." He shook his head, and his lingering smile made the corners of her lips twitch. "'M serious, though. If you've already got enough on your plate, and you don't wanna take on another commitment, that's cool 'n all, and I can always ask someone else. But would you want the position?"

She pursed her lips, eyed him hesitantly. "Will I need to apply for it?"

"Nah," he said. "By the university's policy, you've gotta send me your resume and transcript, but if you wanna be my TA, you've got it. So?"

When she bit her lip, his eyes flickered down to her mouth so briefly that she almost didn't notice it. "I don't know, Thom—" He raised a brow. "Professor. Is there any chance I can think on it and get back to you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, 'course. I can give you 'til the end of the week, if that's enough time?"

"That'd be great." As she held his gaze, she couldn't help but ponder exactly what she was being asked. She was sure his motives were pure; she couldn't imagine for the life of her Thomas giving her a job with the intent of breaking down professional boundaries so he could sleep with her, but that was where her mind was going regardless. "I'll stop by and let you know on Friday."

"I'm countin' on it." He wore a wide grin that shouldn't have and usually wouldn't have put her on edge. Her mind had fallen down the rabbit hole of fixating on just how much more time she'd be spending with him as his TA — he saw enough of her during his office hours, but she was of two minds with that. On one hand, what would a few more hours change? However, on the other, all she was hearing was that he didn't mind spending a few more hours with her. "I'll see you then?"

When he raised an eyebrow, she finally realized she'd spaced out for a solid minute, and she fixed on a smile, though it was tense. "See you then."

She left without another word.

James proved to be a nice guy when Dolley had him over; he brought burgers and milkshakes for all three of them. However, Y/N knew she'd only find herself on Dolley's bad side however many hours later. As much as he was talking, Y/N didn't retain a single word he shared about himself, despite having promised she'd use the evening to formulate her opinion on him. So much for protecting Dolley.

Instead, Professor Thomas Jefferson occupied every one of her thoughts.

220 notes · View notes

adenei · 4 years ago

Text

Finding My Way To You - Epilogue

a/n: It is done! I hope you’ve enjoyed my version of Ron and Hermione take on Australia. Enjoy this fluffy piece of fluffness! Another big thanks goes out to @be11atrixthestrange for being my beta for the second half of this story! <3

AO3 || FFN

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Epilogue: Wagering Bets

Ron and Hermione had just apparated from the Ministry to outside the Burrow’s wards. They’d gotten up incredibly early on Wednesday morning to return home Wednesday evening. Hermione thought that might be better to help them adjust to the time difference.

“Think Mum’ll have dinner out still?” Ron asked her.

“Probably. It is half six, after all. I’m not sure I can eat dinner, though. The time difference has me all out of sorts,” Hermione stated as they walked down the lane toward the house.

“Says the witch who thought taking the first portkey at three in the morning would help us sleep better tonight,” Ron chuckled. “Maybe it’ll make it easier to adjust if we eat the right meal.”

“Perhaps,” Hermione agreed. “Who do you think will be most excited to see us? Your Mum or Harry?”

“Mum, no doubt,” Ron said confidently.

Hermione laughed. “I’d wager on Harry,” she countered.

Ron reached out to open the door and they were welcomed to the sight of the family eating dinner at the table. No one looked surprised to see Ron and Hermione walk through the door, but everyone was excited that they had returned. Mrs. Weasley had rushed over to them, and after she hugged Hermione, she began smothering her son. Ron noticed that the whole family was there, as his mum ushered them over to the table and began filling their plates.

They were peppered with questions about Australia and the trip, and the pair took turns answering between bites of Mrs. Weasley’s delicious cooking. The food in Australia was good, but nothing beat a home cooked meal at the Burrow in Ron’s eyes. Everyone was floored that they happened to walk right into Hermione’s dad while out on a stroll, and that things had gone smoothly in reconnecting.

Hermione had explained that her parents were planning to return in August, and Ron asked Bill and his father if they’d be willing to help check on Hermione’s house and prepare it for her parent’s return. Both quickly agreed and were in the process of planning when Ginny interrupted. She had a look of impatience about her and Ron had a feeling he knew what was coming.

“Why didn’t you answer my question?” she asked as she peered at him inquisitively.

“What question?” Ron was feigning innocence as Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Mate, she knows I wrote it, so I wouldn’t try and avoid it,” Harry muttered.

The rest of the table quieted down now, and Ginny had a look of mirth on her face. “Fine, I’ll ask it again. Have you or have you not gotten things sorted?”

Knowing this was coming, Ron had thought up the perfect remark to set his sister in her place, while avoiding the subject until he and Hermione were ready to tell everyone about their relationship. “Why do you want to know so badly, anyways? Have you wagered a bet or something?” Ron retorted.

He expected his family to laugh at his response. It was absurd, wasn’t it? Yet, as he looked around the table, everyone was staring silently, waiting for an answer. It was only when Ron caught the tiniest of smirks from George that he realized that they actually had placed bets.

“Bloody hell, tell me you didn’t..” Ron groaned. Hermione’s cheeks were pink from what Ron assumed was embarrassment.

“So, are you going to keep us waiting or not ickle Ronniekins?” George asked.

“That depends on what the bets are,” Ron shot back.

“Ah, but that’s none of your concern. You see, you think you’re doing a good job of hiding it, but the fact that your ears and face aren’t that red from embarrassment tells more than you realize,” George explained.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Ron said in an annoyed voice.

“It means you two are clearly together now since you’re not sputtering nonsense in an attempt to avoid it,” George said triumphantly.

He did want to tell his family, but not with George taking the mickey out of him for it. Ron figured he should be happy, since it meant he and Hermione wouldn’t have to make some big, uncomfortable announcement. Plus, George was acting more like himself, which was also a good thing, but he was still miffed by the whole ordeal.

“That’s rubbish,” Ron said. “You’re just trying to win whatever you bet on.” He was trying to call George out, but again it backfired when Percy spoke up.

“So, the charm bracelet on Hermione’s arm is simply a souvenir, then?”

Ron’s head whipped around and saw that Hermione’s elbow was propped up on the table from where she was just resting her head in her hand. It wasn’t that Ron was going to deny it as Hermione looked sheepishly up at him. Her eyes were trying to express an apology, but he didn’t quite believe it. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d planned it that way all along, which was brilliant, really. It was their way of telling his family without really telling them, and the fact that Hermione had even thought of it was brilliant.

Before Ron could muster a reply, or even a reaction, Ginny instinctively reached across the table and grabbed Hermione’s hand. She was examining each of the charms, and as if his younger sister wasn’t already obnoxious enough, she started listing off the tiny figures for the rest of the table.

“A book, how fitting,” she smirked. “Oh, and this looks like your patronuses, an otter and a terrier, very nice. A seashell?” Ginny said, looking up at the two of them. She was so focused on Ron and Hermione that she didn’t notice the shared glance between Bill and Fleur, who knew exactly what it meant.

“And what’s this last one? Well, well, well, if it isn’t a heart! And it’s engraved with something...are those roses? Who knew my brother could be so romantic!” Ginny said as she let go of Hermione’s arm and sat back down, a triumphant look etched on her face.

Hermione looked at Ron again. There was no embarrassment in her eyes, only pride. She was proud to wear his bracelet, proud to have him as her boyfriend. Suddenly, the opinions of his family didn’t seem to matter anymore. He had the girl of his dreams and he wasn’t about to waste another moment pretending they weren’t together. Without bothering to care that they were still at the dinner table, Ron leaned over and kissed Hermione full on the mouth in front of everyone.

The gesture was met with cheers and wolf whistles, and all bets seemed to have been forgotten in the present moment. He vaguely heard people’s comments of ‘it’s about time,’ or ‘finally!’ Ron was pretty sure he also heard his mother say, “Oh, I always knew those two were meant for each other.”

When things calmed down a bit, Mrs. Weasley stood up from the table and said, “I think this calls for a celebratory pudding!”

“Mrs. Weasley, I hardly think that’s necessary,” Hermione said.

“Yeah, Mum, it’s too late to prepare anything spe-'' Ron was cut off when his Mum brought a magnificent looking cake over to the table and set it down in front of them. “Why does this say ‘Congratulations Ron and Hermione’ on it?” he asked. The two of them were completely stunned.

“It- it could have been for our success in finding my parents? Or- or your offer for the Aurors?” Hermione said weakly.

“Oh, don’t be silly, you two! We all knew this was a long time coming,” Mrs. Weasley said.

“But how did you-” Ron asked.

“Mrs. Granger, of course! She told me you two had finally figured things out. We agreed we’d always keep the other informed if any developments were made. Honestly, we’ve been waiting since the Yule Ball, so it really is about time,” she continued, embarrassing them both now.

Everyone at the table burst out in laughter, and Ron found that he and Hermione had joined with them. When the spotlight was finally off of the two of them, Ron leaned over to his girlfriend. Whispering in her ear, he said, “Should we be worried about our mums plotting things now?”

He felt Hermione smile. “Perhaps, but I think it’s a small price to pay,” she said as she leaned into him.

Ron couldn’t have been happier. He was home, with all the people he loved. Hermione’s parents were coming home, and they both had plans in place for the future. The future.

Less than two months ago, the future was so unsure. If you asked Ron then, he would have said he didn’t expect to make it through the war, and many close to him hadn’t. But now he had a future, with the woman he loved right there with him. Anything was possible, and he was determined to make the most of it, with the ones he loved right there by his side.

#ROMIONE #hp australia #ron x hermione #Ron Weasley #Hermione Granger

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priyankaraa · 4 years ago

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How To Love Your Boss

Pairing: CEO!Tom Holland × PA!Reader

Warnings:Jealousy, A little violence, Tom being a bit of a douche in the beginning, Smutt (18+), Oral (Male receiving), Fluff

Summary:The reader is Tom's PA. He is in love for her but she thinks that all he wants is sex.

A/N: I got this idea because I have been reading alot of these type of books on Wattpad. Then I came up with something smutty and funny at the same time. Hope you'll enjoy and thanks for the follows and likes. Thanks so much for over one hundred followers.

The elevator dinged, the doors slid open and out came the World's most sexiest CEO - well at least he thought. You thought the exact opposite. His cocky, arrogant, asshole attitude took away from his good looks. To you he was nothing but a shallow guy that hooked up with countless girls, but you couldn't deny the tiniest attraction you had towards him. You were never going to let him get to you. All he wanted was to get in your pants, and you were better than that.

It was a usual Tuesday morning. You had a cup of steaming hot tea on your desk for Tom. His agenda for the day had been completed. He had a few meetings and then his hook up from the accounting department would be with him. As I have said before, it was a usual Tuesday. Okay, maybe not so usual.

It was around eleven, Tom cancelled half of his meetings because he was tired. He hardly slept thinking about you. He had tried so hard to get you. At first he wanted a good fuck, a one night stand but as time went on he found himself wanting you more the more your rejected him. Of course he wasn't at all accustomed to this thing called rejection. He was a famous actor and then he went on to taking over his father's company. Women usually threw themselves at his feet.

You had seen it too. There were women that used to drop by the office. They were indeed gorgeous. You thought they were better looking than you. They had plain, smooth skin with an hour glass figure. They had amazing hair that always set in the perfect curls. You were just you. Plain ol' simple Y/N.

These women came to see Tom. They would give him a quickie in his office. You pitied the cleaning staff. The women would often look at you with disgust and make hurtful comments about the way you looked. You didn't appreciate this, you didn't sign up for this when you signed the contract. You didn't sign under Tom. Although you are the same age, you started working here when he his father was still CEO. Tom wanted to get rid of you but his father only trusted you and once Tom saw you, he wanted you. Plus, your father is also a close friend of Doninic Holland.

Tom decided that he needed a break, not like he was doing much work. He just sat at his desk looking at security footage of you.

Creepy, I know.

You, on the other hand was extremely exhausted. Sincing Tom stayed in his office the whole day you decided to help a friend down at the accounting department. Adrian West. The both of you started working together. You'll instantly got along.

Tom hated Adrian. The fact that he always made you laugh made him even more upset. He saw you talk to him and hang out like friends would do. This made Tom jealous. He couldn't even get you to have a conversation with him that's not related to work. Tom tried hard so make you like him, even in a platonic way.

He would compliment you and try and hold back on the sexual innuendos. He would bring you coffee just the way you like it. He would give you longer breaks and sometimes half days off, sometimes he even took you for lunch. You appreciated it but still wasn't entirely sure about his intentions.

A part of you had feelings for Tom. He was good looking and when you look past his cocky, conceited side he is actually a great guy. You started seeing a whole new side of Tom. Not the side that the whole of London knew, a side that you wanted to call a friend or possibly even more.

"Miss Y/L/N, I'm going out for lunch. Would you like to join me?" He did have an effect on you when he addressed you by your last name. Not the reaction that had butterflies in your stomach, the type that makes your squeeze your thighs together.

You were going to say yes but then you saw Adrian exit the elevator. Your were on the last floor of the building. That was where Tom's office was situated.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need these documents to be printed out and these emails to be sent, among with a sign of gratitude. Then, you will need to arrange these files according to date." You flipped through the files and saw that the documents in them weren't dated, making your task almost impossible.

"How do I file them accordingly if there are no dates on the document?" You would much rather have lunch than work. You left home in the morning only having eaten an apple and a granola bar. At this point you were sure that you had no stomach lining.

"You can figure it out. Maybe ask around." Tom wasn't happy at all. Firstly, you are his PA. Secondly, he knew you hadn't eaten properly. Your father had phoned and told him to make sure you get a decent meal, and he was going to make sure you eat even if he had to feed you.

"I can't ask around. I have other things to do." You said sincerely. Tom stood next to your table, silently staring at Adrain with hatred. It was now more than just being your friend. He was stressing you out. Tom knew that you practically worked your ass off sincing he was watching you on the surveillance cameras like a creep.

"Listen, woman! I need these things done. Anyways, all you do is sit here and stare at the walls occasionally pleasing Holland." That was all it took for Tom to lunge at him, punching him hard in the jaw.

"Don't you ever insinuate such things. You have no right to speak to any woman like that. Another thing she's my PA not yours. She does more work than you will ever be capable of. And before I forget, YOU'RE FIRED!" It felt good to finally get that off his chest.

Adrian laid there on the floor in bewilderment, shocked as to what the hell just happened. He just lost his job because of you. You felt guilty and shocked. Tom just punched and fired a guy because he was stressing you out. It meant a lot to you.

Eventually Adrian picked his sorry ass off the floor and left. Tom made sure that he cleared his things and sent security for a personal escort out.

The plans Tom made for lunch were long forgotten. He sat at his desk looking over documents. You felt bad for cockblocking Tom sometimes and decided to show him your gratitude by giving him what he always wanted - you.

Tom proved that he is worth it, that he truly genuinely likes you. He had this whole game plan where he asks you out and the whole first date planned. He had changed alot for you and all you had to do was go along with it.

You just needed the right time to confess. You wanted to make sure everything was right so you decided to wait a few days. Tom didn't want to pressurize you so he waited. He knew that you felt something towards him and he wanted you to admit it.

You waited out the rest of the week. Tom even gave you Wednesday off. Once Friday came you were ready to tell Tom everything. You walked through those elevator doors and went straight into Tom's office.

He had just gotten off the phone with his mom. He told her everything about you and about his plans. His parents did like you. In their eyes, you were perfect for Tom. You were just what he needed to keep his cocky ass grounded.

You stood in front of him at the doorway, he tried to hide his knowing smirk. You smiled at him before crashing your lips on his. You can't deny how nervous you was. Tom wasted no time in kissing you back. His lips instantly moving against yours. It was complete bliss on both your sides. He sucked and nibbled on your bottom lip, shoving his tongue inside your mouth.

He pressed your back into the wall and continued kissing the shit out of you. His hands groped your hips, pulling you flush into him. He had the urge to feel energy inch of you, to memorise every curve, mark and flaw. To know all your sweet spots and the effect of kissing you in certain places.

His fingers clumsily fumbled with the buttons on your silk shirt. You came prepared for this moment. Yesterday evening, you made a trip to Victoria Secret with your best friend. You bought a sexy black lace set and wore it under your work clothes. You weren't exactly sure that this would happen but you prepared accordingly.

Once he had removed your shirt, his lips travelled down your neck, kissing and sucking every spot. There was no doubt that he had left marks everywhere. You threw your head back and moaned at the feeling of his warm tongue against your skin.

He pinched the underside of your thighs and you wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling his hard on. He carried you over and placed you in his desk, shoving out whatever was on his way. He didn't give a shit about the lap top and stuff. All those things can be replaced. His attention was solely on you and making you feel good.

He broke the kiss and placed his forehead against yours, allowing you both to breath. "Are you sure you want to do this?" His voice was filled with love and concern. Tom had never asked a girl if she was sure. Normally they would be drunk and desperate. They would be all over him and he wouldn't even think about double checking.

You nodded before your cupped his cheeks and kissed him softly and sweetly. He stood between your legs with his hands laying on your thighs. He rubbed gentle circles with his thumbs on your radiant skin. The kiss soon got more heated and your hands soon removed his shirt.

Your tongues were down each others throat while your hands roamed his chest, feeling ever ab and muscle. Tom's hands travelled up your skirt and brushed your your clit though the thin material that was your underwear. He could feel your dampness through the material.

"What's got you so wet, darling?" He pressed the pad of his finger against your clit and you whimpered at his touch. Your mouth hung open as you enjoyed the feeling on him pressing against your clit. "Use your words for me." He pulled away allowing you the chance to speak.

"You Tommy. I'm wet for you. Only you." Calling him Tommy made him reach a whole new level in hornyness. The growl that left his lips made you even more wet if that was possible.

His lips attacked you neck, tugging down your skirt and discarding it somewhere across the room. Your fingers traced every muscle on his chest and stomach. You trailed them down and touched his boner. You felt him shudder at the contact. You wasted no time. You quickly undid his belt and slid his pants down his legs.

The both of you were in nothing but your underwear out of breath and about to fuck. Your hair was messed up from having Tom's fingers in it, probably looked like a fucking bird nest. Tom lips were pink and swollen. His pupils were almost black and he had a few red scratch marks on his chest.

He placed his palms on either side of you on the table and stared into your e/c orbs. "I love you." He placed a sweet delicate peck on your lips. He was scared that maybe you would reject him knowing all that you do but you didn't. "I love you too."

You cupped his cheeks and kissed him. It was passionate at first but gradually got more heated. He unhooked your bra and slid it down your shoulders. He placed a kiss on the valley of your breast and gentle pulled a nipple into his mouth.

Your back arched as he flicked his tongue on the sensitive nipple, massaging the other one. He then did the same to the other one. He ripped of your thong. He literally ripped off the thong that you just bought yesterday but you didn't care.

He laid you down on the desk so that your head was towards him. He peeled of his boxer briefs and his long, hard member sprung out. He jerked himself a few times. You understood what he was doing so you reached and jerked him, putting him in your mouth. He thrusted his hips and his hand reached out. He played with your tits for a while before reached down and gently stroking your clit.

He tangled his long fingers your locks and bobbed your head, pushing him further down your throat. You moaned sending vibrations through his cock. It hit the back of your throat making you gag. You pulled away wiping your spit that was leaking down your chin with the back of his hand.

He pulled a condom over his dick, lining it with you leaning his head against your forehead. He eased into because of the wetness filling you up to the brim. Of course, you were a virgin. You never got around doing it with your ex and now you were glad you didn't. You were able to give yourself to Tom fully.

It hurt at first as tears lined your eyes. But over time, the pain turned into pleasure and you found myself moaning out in joy. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he pounded deeper into you.

He gripped your arms and pulled you into his chest so that he was hugging you. His body was warm and his body heat was radiating onto your body.

"You feel so fucking good." Tom moaned into your ear as he gently nibbled on the shell of your ear. His lips trailed down your neck, nipping and sucking on the delicate skin on your collar bone.

The air was steamy and filled with sex. Your bodies were one as he pounded into you, making you feel immense pleasure. Your body has never been loved like this before. Your senses were in overdrive; you couldn't make sense of what was happening. All you could think about was this feeling in the pit of you stomach.

You felt this knot come undone and your legs started to shake. You shut tight eyes tight enjoying the euphoric feeling wash over your entire body.

"Fuck... Cum for me, baby." You felt myself letting go at him command, releasing onto his cock. White spots clouded your vision and profanities rolled off your tongue effortlessly. Tom came after, moaning your name in his sexy husky voice.

You finally came down from the high and Tom pulled out, laying next to you on the table. Both of your chests were heaving, rising and falling with every breath you took.

When you caught my breath, yoi stood up and put your clothes back on. You gave into Tom and you thought that now he probably doesn't want to ever talk to you again. Now you felt stupid because you have done whatever those other girls have done. Only, you slept with your boss - the person thar signs your paychecks.

"Where are you going?" He asked as he grabbed onto your hand pulling you back into his toned chest.

"I'm leaving. You got what you wanted." You choked out, wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

"No, Y/N. I want you not only for sex. I want to wake up next to you; I want to always have you in my arms; and I want to make love to you every night and only you. What I'm trying to say is that I love you." He wiped your tears with his thumbs as he cradled your face with his hands. "Why are you still crying?"

Launching yourself into Toms arms, you wrapped your arms around his torso and buried your head in his chest.

"I love you too, Thomas." You said and he wrapped his arms you, tight enough to feel him. There was absolutely no space between the two of you'll and you was content.

You are content knowing that Tom is yours and only yours. And of course you're only his.

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #fanfic #tom holland imagines #fanfiction #tom holland fan fiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland ? reader #peterparker

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kaywriteswords · 5 years ago

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Love your body, Love yourself, Love your life 5/13/2020

Welcome to the most inconsistent blog you’ll ever read. Meh, As always, I am what I am. It seems like every week or even every day I’m diving deeper into my being, stripping away those things that while they may have seemed important or relevant at one point, aren’t really in the grand scheme of things. So, what am I backtracking on this week? The online class of course! Currently lowest on the priority list, I’ll do it eventually. I absolutely find it mentally stimulating and challenging, but giving it time as part of my daily routine is not something I can do right now. But why? Because I find it to be more of a burden on my time and creative pursuits than I initially thought it would be. I’ve done this before, gotten really excited about doing something new only to get bored with the routine of actually having to do it. I find myself in the same trap of trying to do too much and doing nothing as a result. This whole online class thing started as a way for me to put tangible skills on my resume. Check that one off the list because I did finish the first class I took. I thought I would roll right into the second, but nah, I don’t really want to, and guess what? That’s okay.

Most of us are in the habit of over scheduling ourselves because of good old FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out, for those of you who may not know) and also because we always want to do and be more. What ends up happening is a constant state of being overwhelmed leading to burnout. I didn’t come to this realization lightly, I spent hours on the couch last week watching TV. While laying there, I knew I should have been writing, taking class, exercising, but I just wouldn’t. So, I laid there some more and didn’t just mindlessly watch TV, I asked myself what it was about the schedule I had planned for myself that made it so easy to blow off, it was because once again, I had scheduled something that served as more of a distraction than a goal. I feel great right now. Because this is the trap I had fallen into at other times in my life and thanks to all work I’ve done on myself in the last couple years, I can now make that connection with my past and refocus my energy before wasting too much time. So, I took the eraser to my calendar and removed the blocks for the online class and smiled.

My initial go to was that I lacked discipline, but I don’t think that was the case. Discipline has been a recurring theme for me in 2020 because I previously didn’t have any. I did whatever I wanted on every whim. No more. Now that I’m fully focused on my health goals and writing every day, life is pretty great. I don’t know what comes next, but I plan to keep on sharing my journey. Especially because tracking my weight and reporting back on healthy habits holds me accountable to actually doing those things. Plus, it’ll be fun to look back one day and see the kind of progress I’ve made.

Quarantine continues to gift me with the ability to eat as horribly as I want. Today was the first time I stepped foot inside a grocery store in over a month. I’ve been making due with the non-perishables on hand, ordering take-out, and sending my husband to the store with a small list. I watched a sad video of a cow crying while trying to back away from being pushed into the slaughterhouse and now I’m having issues with eating beef. The only upside to that is at least I’ve cut down slightly on my red meat intake. I’m going to continue to monitor my diet. Hubby and I already agreed the amount of take-out has been excessive so maybe I’ll try to get crafty with meal prep for the coming week? We’ll see. At the very least, I bought my salad stuff today so I can get back in the routine of having salad for one meal a day. Ever seen the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine asks for a big salad? That’s what I’m talking about. No dainty meals here. I love to eat!!

Just incase you’re wondering, I am still jogging regularly. And yup, it’s still the worst. We’re a year overdue on buying our new bikes so now we’ll get to contribute to the current bike boom that I’ve heard about. We’ll look like we’re participating in the current fad, but I assure you I am a lifelong biker and the delay in replacing my previous one is just another thing that I love to procrastinate on. Bike riding is the best and as soon as I have my new bike, I will jog no more. I eagerly anticipate that day, which could be as soon as this week. Yay!

Perhaps the most important aspect of an overall healthy lifestyle is loving yourself and spending time doing things that make you happy. So, after stripping down all the layers, I’m getting down to what I really love and what makes me happy. It feels wonderful and light and free.

Future posts in this series can be found at my new site: https://kaywriteswords.wordpress.com/

#kaywriteswords #Weekly Weigh In #accountability #jogging #health #wellness #quarantine #bike ride #be who you wanna be

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deadmomjokes · 6 years ago

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Adulting 101: Grocery Shopping, Smarter

I have roomed with way too many freshmen who lived on fries and takeout because they, per their own admission, had no clue how to buy groceries. And I know a bunch of people are probably in the same boat. So I’m going to take you through the issues I often had to help my tiny baby roomies with, and drop some extra tips on you that I’ve figured out while living away from home. Feel free to add your own!

PRODUCE BUYING (yes, you need to eat a plant every now and then)

Canned and frozen veggies are just as nutritious as fresh, sometimes moreso. Nutrient content degrades as the vegetable sits after picking, and if you live somewhere that your produce has long shipping times, it’s actually less nutritious than canned or frozen. In canned vegetables, look for the “low sodium” marker. Canned and frozen also last a million times longer than fresh, and are WAY cheaper. Buy the frozen broccoli and thank yourself later when you have Netflix money left over.

Pro tip: when using canned veggies, rinse them a few times. They now taste fresh, ready to cook or ready to eat straight. You’re welcome.

When shopping for canned fruit, pick ones that are packed in 100% juice, not syrup. That syrup not only makes things way less healthy, it makes it pretty slimy too. Plus the juice is nice in smoothies, if you choose to save it.

If you buy fresh, do so in quantities that look too small. Get what you think you need, then put a little back. You always need less than you think. If you DO buy large quantities and they start to look funny, cut them up and freeze them.

When buying fresh, get some that are ripe now, and some that need a few days. This way you have some that will last a bit longer rather than trying to scramble to eat 3 avocados within 24 hours.

Buy onions in bulk, chop them up all at once, and freeze them. Only cry once, my friends. They cook much faster when they were previously frozen, and they last ages. Plus a sack of chopped frozen onions makes a good makeshift ice pack for twisted ankles and sore backs, and it won’t hurt to thaw and re-freeze a few times.

Here’s a cheat-sheet for how long produce lasts and how to store them. This should give you a good idea of how much to buy. It is very conservative, tho, so don’t panic. For instance, it says tomatoes only last about 3 days, but I’ve gotten a week and a half out of them if you don’t refrigerate them and keep them away from other fruit. Use it as a guide, and google some other “produce cheat sheets” to get an idea of your time window.

When buying frozen vegetables, get the big resealable packages. They’re cheaper per ounce, and you don’t have to worry about whether you can eat all of it at once. If you have limited freezer space, however, just get some freezer ziploc bags and store the extras in that. Twist-tying the opened, non-resealable bag will just freezer burn your food.

I know you think you eat a lot of potatoes, but you, an individual, do not eat enough potatoes to warrant that 5 or 10 pound sack that’s always on sale. Pass it by and go to the individual, select-a-piece display. You’ll thank me when you aren’t cleaning up rotten potato goo in a few weeks because you only got halfway through the sack and just couldn’t eat any more potatoes.

MEAT BUYING

Buy in bulk, keep out only what you’ll use within a day, and freeze the rest into individual serving size packages. You can get SO many meals out of a tray of chicken breasts, so buy as big a package as you have freezer room for.

Check the yellow-tag/clearance section. You find amazing deals there! Just freeze it right away if you aren’t cooking the whole thing for dinner that night. Yellow-tag is always because it’s nearing its sell-by date.

Don’t feel like you have to cook meat in whatever size or form it comes. Buy big honking roasts and cut your own chops/steak from it. Buy that tray of chicken breasts and cut each piece into stew chunks or strips . Get the bone-in stuff and fillet it yourself. Think big when buying, small when storing, and then use that knife block your mom gave you and slicey slice things down to an individual size, or into something new. (Pork roast into chunks makes for a great, cheap stir fry.) Pop the rest into freezer ziploc bags and take it out the day before you need it. (Thaw in-fridge, please, it’s much safer.)

Ground turkey acts the same as ground beef in most recipes, and is generally cheaper unless you live in beef country. Substitute and save.

GRAINS

As with produce, buy your flour and sugar in much smaller quantities than you think you need. That 2lb sack doesn’t look like very much, but it’s a lot less likely to attract pests if it’s not sitting there for months while you struggle to use it, and it’s also much more manageable so it doesn’t get everywhere while cooking or storing. (You’ll also make fewer sweets if you don’t have a huge bag of sugar sitting in your cabinet getting clumpy and worrying you.)

Mac-and-cheese IS a viable grain option, and if you dump in some broccoli and/or chicken chunks, it’s a full meal. It’s cheap, but less sodium than ramen, so try switching it up. Also try to look for mac-and-cheese made with whole and/or enriched flour if you eat a lot of it, you’ll be slighly less likely to get constipated from it.

Premade loaf bread has a butt-ton of sugar in it. This is not only not as good for you, but makes the bread more likely to mold quicker! So look for low-sugar options. (Or make your own bread, it’s not too hard.)

DAIRY

Unless you’re like me and drink a crapton of milk (doctor’s orders, don’t judge), buy your milk in half-gallons. You can always grab another one if you run low between regular grocery shopping days, but you don’t want to have the experience of going to pour your cereal and getting your appetite ruined by the smell of rotten milk.

If you can’t or don’t want to drink milk, most milk alternatives are now fortified with the same nutrients that animal milk has. Don’t skip the dairy recommendation because you don’t like animal milk, get yourself some soy or almond milk and get your daily calcium intake!

Cheese lasts a long time, but will get dry, hard, and powdery if not stored properly. Look for, you guessed it, resealable packages.

Most of the time, block cheese is cheaper than grated and you can just grate it yourself at home. But always check the price-per-ounce, it’s usually located in the corner or on the side of the tag.

Yogurt lasts longer than you think it will. Buy in the big tubs, not individual cups. It’s cheaper, and you can pick how much you want.

SHOPPING TIPS

Shop by what’s on sale to save money. Have an idea of what you want when you go in, but be flexible with your choices. For instance, I would go in with a shopping list that had an item that was simply “sale meat.” I had meal ideas planned out that I could replace or alter based on what was on sale at the store. No chicken on sale, but the tofu was marked down? We’re having tofu stir fry on Wednesday instead! Apples on sale? You had planned to get bananas, but if the apples are cheaper you can either get some of both or just do apples. Check the sale papers or online ads beforehand to see what kind of specials they have, and try planning meals around that.

Speaking of, CHECK THE SALE PAPERS! Save those mailers, compare prices, and see which store has what you’re after. Google the store’s website and see if they list their specials online.

Have a basic plan for what you’re going to do with your purchases. Don’t just pick up a bunch of kohlrabi “to try” if you don’t have a plan. It could be as simple as “I’m going to look up a recipe later today and I’m moving Tuesday’s dinner to next week so I can make this new thing on Tuesday.” But don’t just go “huh, that’s neat” and buy it without consciously planning when to use it. Or you’re going to end up with rotten kohlrabi and money wasted. Be aware of what you’re buying, and tell yourself how you’re going to use it before you put it on your list, or in your cart if it’s a last minute decision.

Don’t shop hungry. Simple idea, you’ve probably heard it before, but you’ll come home with impulse buys and a headache if you shop on a very empty stomach.

Make a list. You ARE going to forget that you really needed rice if you don’t put it on that list. I know you think you’ll remember, but you won’t. Crossing the threshold of a supermarket completely wipes your RAM. Write that stuff down somewhere and take it with you.

Be willing to shop around. I know Walmart is convenient, and it has asparagus on sale, but if the Kroger also has an amazing sale on the salad greens that you were planning on buying, try to make the effort to get to both stores. Nobody said saving money and eating well was easy, but it is worth it. Unless one store has price match, then just take your ad in and do the shopping at that store.

Try to have a buddy. Grocery shopping can be exhausting and stressful, but a friend can make it easier, and keep you sane. They can also help steer you away from impulse buys just by their very presence. It’s a lot harder to justify the checkout candy bar when your friend is right there, even if they don’t say anything. (Or you could get both of you a candy bar, if you’ve got the cash for it.)

Try to pick a single grocery day and plan for it consistently. Weekly, biweekly, whatever is best for you, just plan a day to do your in-depth shopping. Shopping piecemeal is a good way to spend more money than necessary, and to make sure you forget stuff. (You may have to make fill-in trips between big shopping days, but plan the big ones and try to put off as much as you can until then. But stopping for milk because you ran out won’t break the bank, so don’t worry about doing an occasional quick-stop.)

STORAGE TIPS

Ziploc bags are your friend, but make sure you know what kind you’re getting. Only specifically labeled “freezer bags” should be used in the freezer, or you risk your food getting icy and freezer burnt. Also, look for the store-brand zipper bags, they work just as well.

Label everything you put into the freezer if it’s not in the original package. You’re going to have days where you can’t tell if that’s chicken or tofu. Most freezer zipper bags have a space just for labeling. Keep a kitchen sharpie handy and label stuff. Also put the date on it, and use things within a year of freezing.

Get canisters. There are some cheap ones, even, but get SOMETHING. Put your flour and sugar in the canisters. It will last longer, and you don’t risk the bugs. You may think your apartment is safe, but bug season comes for us all in the end, and those little turds go right for a folded-over sack of flour, I swear.

Keep a list on the front of your freezer of everything that’s in there. Add to the list as you put stuff in, and cross stuff off as you take it out. That way you don’t have to dig to know if you have any more of those frozen peaches you like in your smoothies. Nor will you forget for a million years the bag of stew meat you had intended to use. Small magnetic whiteboards are particularly good for this purpose. (Also consider doing that for each major storage area--fridge, cabinets, pantry, etc-- if you routinely forget what’s in there. You could even tape it to the inside of the cabinet door so nobody else sees your bad memory.)

Don’t store potatoes and onions next to each other. They’ll both sprout.

Keep bananas away from all other produce. They’re naughty ethylene fiends that will spoil your tomatoes just for fun. That said, stick a banana in with an under ripe fruit and it’ll be ready in a day or two.

Take your produce out of the little plastic bags unless they need to ripen a bit more.

Go through your fridge completely once a month. Take everything out, check the dates, sniff it, and throw out old/rotten/nasty stuff. Go through your freezer once every 2 or 3 months. Reorganize your stacks, and double check your content list is current.

I know this is long, but I hope it can be helpful. Please add on any tips you have, at the very least I’d love to read them!

#long post #food tw #adulting #grocery shopping

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abybweisse · 5 years ago

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LONG VENT POST: Family issues, part 1 of ?

So, a bit ago I said I’m not as active right now, due to family issues. I didn’t want to fill the thread of that post with all the long, sordid details.

Right now I’m trying to get my mother into an “assisted living and memory care” community (nursing home, basically) and doing everything I can to stop her credit union accounts from hemorrhaging from all her incompetence (she’s been scammed a bunch and generally taken advantage of).

Yesterday’s biggest takeaway was the discovery of numerous scams she fell for over the past few years... plus three months worth of fraudulent Uber and Uber Eats charges... and the fact that she pays about $550/mo on car insurance but the last couple times (at least, maybe more) she got collision repairs done? She didn’t file claims and pay a $500 deductible. No, she paid in full, out of pocket. Out $7k instead of $1k for two repairs in just a few months’ time. How can you pay huge insurance premiums and never notify them when you need collision repairs?!

Found out just recently that about a couple years ago, someone scammed her for an easy $5k. Found out she never deposits the full amount on car payments I send her. She never makes full deposits on the rent a tenant pays her. Instead, she cashes much of them out, and I have no idea what she does with the cash.

She buys stuff in bulk but cannot use most of it before it goes bad, but she refuses to toss out expired foods. Her hoarding tendencies have gotten worse. Even though she tells my sister and I not to send her gifts that would add to the clutter in the house, I found out yesterday she’s been dropping $200-$300 on random stuff from places like TJ Maxx and Tuesday Morning just because they made her “happy”. She hasn’t even unpackaged the hanging glass butterflies or other things. I told her she can take them to the “home”....

She’s wrecked two brand new Priuses (about $30k each, each paid up front/in full with inheritance money from my dad, who died five years ago) within about two years’ time. The first was “totaled”, but I have yet to verify whether she ever opened a claim to get money for it. This one hasn’t been officially declared totaled or repairable. I had to file the claim on it on her behalf. For all I know, the $550/mo premium might be on both cars. I’ll know for sure soon. If she’s been paying insurance on a car that was “totaled” two years ago instead of getting market value of about $22k, I will definitely break down and cry. For at least the 50th time in the past few days. Seriously, if she just found out the previous one couldn’t be fixed and walked away from it without filing a claim and getting the huge payout... and is therefore also still paying for insurance on it? I’ll probably scream, too.

The latest (and last ever) car wreck was last Wednesday. We’ve been telling her for over a year she shouldn’t be driving. Her doctors have told her the same for at least 6mo. My sister and I were planning to visit her and take away her keys, but the wreck happened before we could even finalize our travel plans.

This time, she was trying to get to dialysis (she goes three days a week), and she couldn’t use Uber anymore, so she was determined to drive herself. Just before 5 am, she was driving down her own residential street and blacked out (apparently) and hit three parked (and unoccupied) vehicles. Police showed up and she got out of her car and told them she needed a ride to dialysis. One of the officers took her. She can’t recall hitting three cars. Told me she hit a curb and one car. Later told someone else she only hit a curb. I don’t know anything about the curb, but probably. However, I definitely believe the police report that three parked cars were hit badly and had to be towed away, too. After the police spoke to her tenant, they said they’d make things easier for us and revoke her license. Phew.

I convinced dialysis staff (actually, they completely agreed without question) to send her to hospital afterwards instead of letting yet another friend take her home. Good thing, too, because before dialysis was even up that morning, she was in a lot of pain; she had told them earlier she didn’t need to be looked at. Well... no broken bones, no major injuries, and her labs were ok except slightly low potassium. However, a brain scan showed something I already knew just by dealing with her: it showed ischemic changes associated with dementia. Monday of that week, I had called her renal doctor to tell him I worried about her mental health and wondered if it had anything to do with the renal failure. He said he didn’t think so; it’s got to be something else causing the mental decline we are seeing. When I told him she’s still driving sometimes, he became furious and said he’d refer her to get a full dementia evaluation. Well, before he could even get the referral to her, she’d wrecked again. He’s seen her now, but I haven’t heard any updates from him. Mom says she hasn’t done the evaluation (that she knows of), and she heard someone at the hospital mention “dementia”, but she doesn’t recall what they said about it. 😔

I didn’t take photos when I finally saw her car, but I’m going back up to Dallas tomorrow and staying in a Motel 6 overnight (with my dog) to take care of as much financial matters for her as I can in these next two days. I’ll get another chance to see the car (to clean out items), so I’ll take pics then. I might not get back to Austin until sometime Wednesday. Not sure about Wednesday yet, but I already requested Monday and Tuesday off from work by email and left a vm with coworkers. I’m about to run out of annual leave because of this. I know I’ll be making many weekend trips coming up until my sister and I have gotten her moved into the nursing facility. And for a while afterwards, too, since we have to clean out the house, put some of her stuff into a storage unit, and sell the house ASAP. Plus, we need to visit often, at least at first, to make sure she’s settled in, isn’t hating it too much, and is being taken care of properly.

It’s a good thing my sister is paying for my hotel charges and has also offered gas money (though I haven’t asked for gas money... yet). This is still way cheaper for her than booking herself flights back and forth between Olympia, WA and Dallas, TX. The more leg work I do on this, the happier my sister is to help with my travel costs. Honestly, she really doesn’t want to come down here until it’s time to move our mom, clean the house, and put it up for sale.

And, since we have so little time to get her affairs in order, we are placing her in the only community my mom and I have toured, so far. I told her if it turns out to not be a good place (at all) once she moves in, we can keep looking at others (while she still lives at that one) and move her again. But, honestly, this place does seem nice enough, and none of these places are perfect. Plus, it’s right next to the hospital where she always goes... the one where her doctors are associates. I joked that if they needed to send her to the hospital, they could put her on a gurney and wheel her down the street. She laughed at that and said the location is perfect.

Sigh. She’s being compliant and has even said thanks for us (her two daughters) stepping up to help her and get things taken care of. We were afraid she would refuse to leave her house of almost 40years. She’s not even batting an eye at us deciding to sell the house to make sure she can afford the rent and services (the suites at the community are rented out like apartments, but with three meals a day and unlimited snacks, weekly cleaning service, weekly laundry service, landline phone, cable, and internet included. We will have to pay more for “memory care” and probably for medical transport they provide (unless that’s included, too), plus whatever else. She might take her cat with her, or she might leave him with a friend of the family. But it’s a one-time, non-refundable fee of $500 if she keeps him. I kind of hope she gives him up, and they just bring him along on visits to her. She would have trouble taking care of him.

She’s never shown me her finances before. We had no idea how bad (completely uncontrolled) her spending was. It was probably bad enough before our dad died, but afterwards, she started going downhill fast. Now she’s in renal failure and requires dialysis three days a week. She’s recently lost an unhealthy amount of weight in a very short time, apparently because she can’t remember to eat and sometimes she’s too disoriented to get up. She can’t cook anymore, and she’s hardly done cleaning chores since she had kids (that’s what us kids were for: housework). So she’s a money-wasting hoarder in a house full of dirty dishes, dirty clothes, clutter everywhere, and $100’s — maybe $1000 worth — of groceries she can’t get through but won’t throw out when they go bad. And she won’t let anyone else touch them while she’s still living there.

I have so much to do the next couple days, I had to write a list of each thing I need to look into and take care of before I return home. I still have some stuff to get ready for the trip, so this is the end of the first vent post.

I hope I get more sleep tonight than I have the past week....

#off topic #PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG #will reblog to off topic #might delete later #venting #family problems #dementia #assisted living #nursing home #memory care #long post #personal post

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letsdiscoverkitty · 6 years ago

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Therapy Appointment: Friday 5th October 18

To be totally honest with you I nearly cancelled the appointment. One reason was because it was in the afternoon instead of our usual morning, hence being weighed at a different time, and another, bigger reason, was because I felt like I had let her down and I couldn’t face going into the room and hearing the same things and having that same reminder of how much of a failure I am and how I am wasting therapy time....however despite a difficult morning, I didn’t cancel and I am actually really glad that I did.

Inpatient is still being talked about and taken to team meetings. But she is trying to help me feel more able to do it/build my self confidence and trust in recovery and helping me to see that doing it in the community is so much better in the long term than going back into IP.

After last weeks, what felt like interrogation/full on session spent mostly discussing meal plans, it was, thank god, not the sole focus of the session as I think we both agreed that I know what I need to do...

We spent half of the session talking about the overwhelming feels/thoughts/emotions that have surfaced over the past week (failure/stuck/stupid/low/lonely/frozen/numb), she helped me to understand and acknowledge that it is okay to feel these things but that I can’t let them control my actions (?)

She reenforced the fact that I am not just sitting back and going with AN’s instructions is a positive thing and that it is understandable to feel this way now that I am thinking about change and trying to challenge it (even if I do feel like I am falling flat on my face every time I try). It’s almost like I was floating along numb to everything but now I am pausing and have space to THINK about my decisions, and even though it has not led to direct changes, it has opened up this dialogue and my logical/rational side is now growing slightly louder and we now need to harness it and allow it to move into action????

We also got to speak about some triggers and difficult situations that have arisen recently and how I can try to juggle/deal with these and the emotions that have appeared. It was exhausting and so hard to talk about but she helped me to see things a little clearer than I have been seeing them.

We then spent the rest of the session starting the formulation. We mainly just spoke about what it will entail and then started to map out a few points on my road map - I am glad we stopped when we did as it was already getting very overwhelming, triggering a number of memories and was utterly exhausting.

Goals for the next week (due to her diary we have to meet again next Friday afternoon but then fingers crossed we will be back to normal morning sessions on a Wednesday): Same increases as agreed on last week (plus she said doing as much as I can so if I feel able to do more then I need to do it). Take some time for self-care. And the main motto that came from this week (well a question to ask myself when feeling trapped or overwhelmed, or just at any point reallY) “Is this harming or helping me?” - I think it speaks for itself and is actually really quick and helpful to ask when AN is becoming louder and louder. And idk it just really resonated with me.

After therapy I headed to a Costa and ended up crying in the corner sipping coffee and thinking about everything and trying to not feel too overwhelmed as well as not let anorexia take control. It’s been such a long week, especially as dad and I went up to Reading yesterday to help Andi move into the new flat (we are going back again tomorrow with mum as well to help some more) and yeah just trying to get through each day is exhausting enough. I am finding it hard to see a way out of this mess but I am not giving up and am going to continue to take each day as it comes. I intended to keep this short, but tbh I don’t think that will ever happen with me being the rambler I am. I really hope that you are all as okay as can be, I know things can be really tough sometimes and you can end up questioning why you are doing xyz, so please, if you do find yourself feeling trapped and questioning why or what you are doing ask yourself “Is this harming me or helping me?” Take a step back. Take a few deep breathes. Remind yourself of what matters to YOU (not ED). You can do this. I am with you every step of the way x

#personal #update of sorts #just me rambling as usual #so tired #everything is messy and hard and I dont even know anymore #but I am continuing to try #even if I do keep failing and letting everyone down #and questioning everything I am doing #sigh #when will this end #I am such an idiot

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myneighborhood-thelake · 3 years ago

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IronMan Canada 1998

IMC '98 meant a lot to me because it paved the way for some major changes in my life which I really needed to make. There are probably to many tri-related details and too many extraneous issues in this and the subsequent post that I will send out. I apologise in advance if you dislike rambling stories, but the IMC experience was much more than 14 hours 10 minutes and 48 seconds of swimming, biking and running (walking). It was over a year of contemplation and training, and it was 10 years of racing narrowed down into one event.

That said, please enjoy.

I think that my story starts out about 5 years ago. I was putting myself through my final years of college and money was just a little tight. I made a conscious choice to stop racing triathlons for a while to reduce my expenses. I graduated and landed a great job with excellent potential for advancement. Since I was pushing hard in my career tri's were still regulated to the backseat. 2 1/2 years passed in that job and I was experiencing severe burnout. I had focused all of my intensity on my work, and work was not as exciting as it had been when I was fresh out of college.

Labor Day (U.S.) 1997. One of my best friends got married in Philadelphia - which is an incredible town. At an after party I was talking with a couple of people - an associate editor of Triathlete magazine and a guy who occasionally does a few tri's. The tri-geek was trying to get the Triathlete editor to give him a slot for Kona. He would have been better off trying to score a date with her - there was no way that she was going to conjure up a Kona slot. She suggested IMC as a place to qualify.

The wheels in my head started to turn - "I need a challenge" "I have wanted to get back into tri's for several years" "I need a really big challenge to get me out of my workaholic rut" "Maybe I should try IMC"

Back at work I downloaded the IMC '98 application and contemplated the commitment to training for an IM. My wife was 100% behind me signing up for IMC. When we started dating I was racing tri's in Southern California, and she knows how much I enjoyed the scene. I bit the bullet and mailed in my application. I even started training - somewhat. Four plus years of inactivity had taken their toll. I had purchased a new Kestrel KM40 in the fall of 1996, but I only had ridden it for about 100 miles in the year since I bought it. It was pretty embarrassing to be out riding my shiny, new Kestrel as I was getting passed by everyone on the road.

I soon subscribed to Tri-DRS and saw all the traffic about IMC filling up in record time. I wondered, I worried, I fretted, and then the confirmation letter came. It was true - I was going to Canada in 9 months.

To say the least - I was really scared. I was out of shape. I had never done an Ironman. I used to train for Oly distance races using a "feeling" plan - "How do I feel today and what do I want to do?" I knew that I could not train for an Ironman on such an ad hoc training plan.

I wrote down my goals for IMC '98. A

1. Finish my first Ironman. 2. Have fun.

After the race I would: 1. Smile. 2. Hug my wife. 3. Be happy that I went from couch potato to Ironman in 10 months!!!!

I needed some help in training, so I talked with my college teammate and now QR pro Greg Thompson. Greg suggested that I contact Lauren Alexander for coaching advice. The best thing that I did in the months prior to IMC was hire Lauren as my coach. She is a major asset.

The months flew by, I had a hideous race at Wildflower, I DNF'd at San Jose due to a mechanical, I finally had a great race at a local sprint tri and I did pretty well at the 1/2 Vineman. The 1/2 Vineman taught me that I could overcome problems during a race and still continue on to a good finish. I sent out numerous emails to both the Tri-DRS and the IMC lists asking all kinds of stupid questions. Luckily there are a lot of great people on the list who answered my questions and gave me some great guidance. Unbelievably - Taper Time for IMC arrived - my first IM was only 3 weeks away.

During all of this IM training, life continued to march forward. My wife continued her studies and supported my training endeavors. My job structure changed again, and again, and again, and finally I found a new job that started two weeks before IMC - of course I negotiated a one week break for IMC into my offer. As always there was a multitude of issues to deal with that really got in the way with training. As time marched on I forgot about my initial race goals - I started thinking about racing IMC as opposed to surviving it, and that was a big mistake. My initial goals were what I should have focused on, but I wasted a lot time worrying about split times, average speed and run paces.

Tuesday Afternoon,

Flew from San Francisco to Vancouver. A hometown friend drove to Penticton, so I stashed my bike in his mini-van for the trip. I did not have to worry about packing a bike box, or whether my bike would arrive in Penticton on my flight.

While waiting for the puddle jumper from Vancouver to Penticton, some guy sat next to me and asked me if I was doing the race. I am not sure why he would look at me and assume that I was racing IMC - Okay, maybe the shaved legs and Specialized transition bag were pretty good indicators. He introduces himself as Scott Adams (it sounds familiar). I introduce myself as Ron Renwick. Sometimes it is very useful to have your name and email address coincide. Scott recognized my name, and further introduced himself as an infrequent poster to Jason's IMC list - this is a really small world! Another friend of mine, Bill - from my Wildflower debacle, showed up and we waited for the plane to Penticton.

We arrived in Penticton. Scott had a seat next to me on the plane where he tried to avoid listening to me whine about how hungry I was for the duration of the flight. Thanks for the pretzels Scott. In the Penticton airport, Scott started talking to this big guy with bright 'blonde' hair and a smaller guy with very little hair. Jason Mayfield and Bruce Grant had come to pick up Scott. I think that Bruce's wife and Eric Austin may have been there too, but it was a few days ago and my memory is not what it used to be. Scott's bike actually made it into Penticton on our flight. My buddy Bill was not so lucky. His bike did not show (as expected), and Canadian Airlines had lost his suitcase too. His carry-on consisted solely of his race wheels, so he was not a happy camper.

Bill and I made our way to the Rochester Resort - 2 doors from the Sicamous, and "The Best Value On The Beach." It was late so we walked the 10 steps to Salty's restaurant for a bite to eat. FYI, avoid Salty's if possible. Bill was able to buy a toothbrush at the local convenience store - he now had race wheels, the clothes on his back and a toothbrush - Bill was not a happy camper.

Wednesday,

0700 - I made my way to the Sicamous for my first pre-IMC swim. I met so many people that I had emailed with over the last 10 months. I only swam for 20 minutes, but meeting everyone was incredible. My goggles broke during the swim - add one more thing to my "Must Buy" list.

After a shower Bill and I walked downtown to the Hog's Breath. We grabbed a cup of coffee and some breakfast. Bill was impressed that we kept bumping into Tri-DRS'ers. I finally told him that "Everything I know about Penticton I learned on from the List." Which meant that anywhere we went we were sure to bump into some Deads. We walked around town, checked out the construction zone of the Athlete's village and hit the Bike Barn - a really cool bike store. Most bike shops in the SF Bay area are pretty streamlined. They look more like a Blockbuster Video store than a neighborhood bike shop - everything is in its proper spot. The Bike Barn rocks - racks of stuff and a good assortment of bikes. Bins were overflowing with stuff. It was a great place to dig around for bike goodies. The place was humming with tri-bikes. There must have been at least 8 workstands going continuously.

We went to lunch at Front Street Pasta (Jason's choice) a great meal for a very low price. I finally met Dave 'the starving student" Barclay. Jason was quite the entertainment director - as the week progressed he started looking more and more like Julie Tewes, the Cruise Director from the Love Boat ;-).

My bike arrived in the afternoon - reassembly consisted of putting the front wheel back on (no allen wrenches for me). For dinner it was Front Street Pasta again this time with my bike hauling friend Ray, Bill, Dead Chris Nugent and lurking Dead Bob Castaldi. A post-dinner beer with Ray and Greg Pressler was quite relaxing. Greg truly is a poet at heart.

Thursday

Thursday was my glycogen depletion/carbo load day so I did a solo swim and run and 4 of us rode the first 15 miles of the bike course out and back. We meant to ride the run course, but we turned left on McClean by mistake. We then picked up our registration packets and got our wrist bands. It was official - I was signed up for an Ironman.

Friday

I missed the 0700 swim by 10 minutes, so I did not get to meet anyone new from the list. However, after the swim I finally met the person that I have tried to meet for months now. We train in the same locations, we race the same races and we live only a few miles apart, but I had never met this person. Finally, after a 2000 mile trek to Canada, I finally met Tri-Baby, the one the only Tricia Richter. Now I wonder how the hell I missed seeing her in other races! And I thought that Jason had some noticable hair.

My buddy Ray and I went to the Hog's Breath after the swim for a dose of caffeine, and we bumped into some deads (imagine that). Gerry Kuse was talking to Tricia and Skippy. He was wearing a 1993 Mike and Rob's shirt, a race that I had my 1/2 IM PR in way back when (it's a small world). It turns out the Gerry and I have raced at several of the same races over the years.

At the carbo load dinner we learned that there would be 675 IronVirgins racing on Sunday. 40% of the racers were attempting there first IM. Wow!

Saturday

My wife flew into town on Saturday morning. I was really glad to see her. She had been so supportive of my training, and she deserves the title of IronMate. She had originally been scheduled to fly up with me on Tuesday, but her school schedule mandated that she stay at home during the pre-race week and attend classes. I often say that you should always have at least one smart person in the family, and I was lucky enough to marry well.

The day pretty much flew by with the pre-race meeting, the parade, packing Special Needs Bags and bike check-in. My nutrition plan was pretty simple - Gu and Cytomax and salt tabs. I had trained with Gu, Cyto and salt tabs over the past 10 months with great results. At the last minute I decided to toss an Okanagan pear into my Bike Special Needs Bag.

A post parade dinner at the Gunbarrel and a walk home were all that I needed for the evening. It was time to get some sleep. Before I drifted off I thought back to my original goals. Oh yeah, I was here to have fun. I was not here to break 14 or 12 or 10 hours, but I still held out for a good race even though I knew that I just wanted to finish. I wish that I would have looked back on my goals more often.

The actual Race Report follows.

Sunday - RACE DAY

I started the day with a 3:00 am breakfast run to Denny's. Ray and I figured that an early breakfast would be useful for us. I had actually slept for about 5 or 6 hours the night before, and I felt pretty good.

At about 5:00 am I gathered my Special Needs Bags and swim gear bag and marched 3/4 of a mile to the transition. I got body marked, Championchipped and went straight to my bike. Even at 0500 the volunteers were friendly and incredibly helpful. I chose to leave my floor pump at the hotel [good choice] - with my floor pump absent from the transition area there were only 1,699 floor pumps in the TA waiting to be used. In addition there was a crew from the Bike Barn with a compressed air cylinder for filling tires. I pumped up my Conti's to about 160psi, loaded my aerobag, filled my jetstream and walked around the corner to the Swim and Run transition bag racks.

The 2 hours from 0500 to 0700 flew by. I chatted with a few friends, revelled in the fact that I was about to start my first Ironman and donned my wetsuit. I did a warm up swim for about 10 minutes in the clear Lake Okanagan. I chatted with Chris Nugent. I high-fived and chatted with Greg Pressler. In Greg's race report he mentioned that he saw "fire in Ron's eyes." With all due respect, I think that Greg is confusing the "Happy Face" holograms on my goggles with fire.

Meeting the people on this list has been a special thrill, both Greg and I have both been doing tri's for over 10 years, but we had waited until now for our first IM. We both had that "This is finally it" feeling, he went on to an incredible race that he really deserved.

The day before the race, Greg had a great observation about the IMC swim course. "It's an International Distance swim on the way out, a few hundred meters to the right and a 1/2 IM swim on the way home - we have done this before."

Oh Canada was played. I think that I heard some bagpipes somewhere, and the race STARTED!

I was here to have fun so I held back for a few seconds to let the mass of humanity clear out from the start line. I started swimming. I kept thinking to myself "This is so COOL! I am finally doing an IronMan." I passed the first set of marker bouys and thought to myself "WOW, I just passed my first set of IronMan marker bouys. This is AWESOME!"

The swim went very well. It was much less brutal than Wildflower, and the course is very well marked. I was so happy to be racing. I was bumped a few times, I swam over a few folks, I drafted a little and hit some toes and I was drafted off of. I hit the first houseboat (leg 1) in 25 minutes - I was ecstatic. I stopped for a second to adjust the neck of my wetsuit as I was experiencing a little chafe. I made it to the second right turn at 35 minutes - one more leg to go. The swim course is so well marked that I had to do very little sighting - maybe one look every 10 strokes. Basically, the swim was all mine. I focussed completely on how I was doing. If I bumped someone or got kicked it just did not matter. I really enjoyed being out there. I hit the beach and attempted to walk over the annoying rocks.

I looked at my watch - I had completed the swim in 1:06!!!!!!!!

I was expecting to have a 1:20 swim as I have only been in the water 5 or 6 times since Wildflower in May, and two of those times were tri swims. A 1:06 was incredible.

I thought "It cannot get any better than this!"

It did not get any better.

In fact, things got far, far worse.

SWIM TO BIKE TRANSITION

I wore my Speedo and singlet under my wetsuit during the swim, so I only had to don my cycling shoes and helmet. I also stopped to urinate - little did I know that I would not have to worry about that for the next 12 hours. . .

I rolled out of town feeling really good. I had just finished an incredible swim, and I was finally starting on the bike leg of my first Ironman! I took it easy for the first 5 miles - I figured that I had 107 more miles to make up time. I hit the drops as we hit South Main Street. My first priority was to hydrate and the cytomax was not tasting very good. I spun my way up McClean Road and picked off many people on the downhill - when you weigh 195 pounds downhills are a real rush. My stomach was a little tight, but I attributed that to being so early in the race.

At the bottom of McClean someone was nice enough to tell me that I had lost my pump during the rapid descent. The bracket holding my pump on my bike broken off. "Nothing I can do about it now - I hope that I don't flat."

At about mile 10 my JetStream went dry. I had a bottle of highly concentrated Cytomax on my downtube with markings on the bottle to delineate portions. I shot some Cyto concentrate into my JetStream and filled the rest with water to make a 7% solution. I immediately took a drink from my JetStream. The concentrate and the water had not mixed together, so I got about an 80% solution of Cyto in that mouthful.

I should have pulled off the side of the road and tossed my cookies.

I chose to keep the cytomax concentrate down and chase it with water - it's hard to say, but this may have been a big mistake.

My stomach started cramping big time! I could no longer drink. I tried to take a Gu, but I could not get it down. 10 miles into the bike and I could neither hydrate nor feed - OH NO!

I tried some different positions on the bike to alleviate my stomach cramps. The aero position put direct pressure on my abdomen which was not feeling too good. I alternated between sitting upright and going aero.

I was still doing pretty good with respect to speed. At mile 41 I took the right turn to head up Richter.

Can someone please tell me why both Wildflower and IMC have a hill at Mile 41???

At the base of Richter I was still holding a 22.5mph average. Then I started climbing Richter. In the grand scheme of things Richter is not a terrible climb. I ride much worse on my regular training rides. However, Richter is at mile 41 of an IM and I had not eaten much for 3 hours (swim and bike time)

I bonked.

I hurt.

I struggled to the top of Richter,

I cursed the wind.

I quit looking at my heart rate monitor - it just did not matter.

I got passed by most of the people racing at IMC.

I got passed by pedestrians who were walking up Richter.

The downhill after Richter should have been a lot of fun, but I could not hold a good tuck. I only hit 47 mph. The uphill after Richter and the rollers through the Osoyoos were intolerable. I just kept pedaling forward. I stopped at about mile 60 to eat a banana - finally I was able to consume something. I was very happy that it stayed down. I continued to slog forward. The head wind was really causing problems. Even the flat spots were hard to ride. I promised myself that I would take a break when I got my special needs bag. I passed a med tent on the way out the second out and back section. I was very tempted to stop and take a nap.

When I got my special needs bag, I rode to the closest clear spot, dropped my bike and sat down. I opened my bag. The Gu's were completely unappetizing, but the pear looked great. I started eating my Okanagan pear - man that tasted good. Unfortunately that was the only good item in my SNB. [Note to Self: diversify nutrition plans in future long races]. Some saint in one of Jason's IMC-RST jerseys stopped next to me. It was John Welch. He had an extra turkey sandwich that tasted incredible. I could eat! This tall guy with a mustache and a blue Softride stopped next to me. He was not having a good day. My personal saint, Jeff, said "George are you OK." It was George Ball. Since I was sitting on the ground in close proximity I have to say - George has some big, skinny feet. George was not feeling too good, and he crossed the road to sit down in a chair.

I shouted to a teammate, Gerry Morton, but he looked around at eye level and missed me sitting down. I saw Tri-Baby, and pretty soon Steve "Gibbo" Gibson rolled up. Gibbo looked incredibly fresh. He looked more like he had just started his ride than that he had already ridden 75 miles. Gibbo's special needs bag was missing and he was pretty irate about not getting to his vegemite sandwiches. To be honest, I have tried the stuff and I think that he was better off not having access to his vegemite, but then again I am not an Aussie ;-).

I gave myself 20 minutes of rest at the special needs stop. The first couple of miles felt OK, but soon thereafter my quads wanted to quit (again).

The course turned back onto Highway 3A and started the gradual climb to Yellow Lake Hill. It was really hot and really windy. Then we hit Yellow Lake Hill. I kept telling myself to live only in the moment - forget about the rest of the race - things will get better, but I was really hurting. It became a battle of feet. Instead of pushing to get to the next mile marker, I goaled for the next traffic sign or the next rock on the shoulder of the road. Bit by bit, pedal turn by pedal turn.

Finally, I stopped on the climb and sat on my top tube for a while (I chose not to time myself). Most people were really great. Almost all of the athletes asked if I was OK, and the race marshalls stopped to check on me. I seriously thought about dropping out. I looked at my watch just as it hit the 7 hour mark. I was at mile 90. I did a quick calculation - I had 10 hours to ride 22 miles and run a marathon. 22 mile rides are easy spins during training. I could do this.

I chose not to DNF. I started riding again. I passed some guy who was walking his bike and I decided to do the same. Two teammates passed me as I was walking, my buddy Ray and Tana, who always looks like she is just out doing an easy training ride even though she is hammering along. They made sure that I was OK as the cruised on by. I made it to the aid station at the top of the hill. A volunteer offered me cold, de-fizzed Pepsi. Pepsi was not in my pre-race plan, but then again, walking up Yellow Lake was not in my plan - I took the Pepsi.

The caffeine and sugar boost was amazing. I started riding once again. My stomach wanted to get rid of the Pepsi, but I made it stay down. I passed Ray and I caught Tana. Tana and I chatted for a minute until my specialty arrived - the Yellow Lake Downhill. I expected to cruise with the downhill bias back into town, but after the big downhill the headwind took over again. I slogged back to the transition area.

As I crossed paths with the people already on the run course I tried to assess their condition. Some people looked pretty good, but most were looking pretty tired. I got to the transition area, but I forgot to slip out of my shoes before I handed off my bike. My brain was not working too well.

BIKE TO RUN TRANSITION

Since I was going to wear my speedo and singlet for the run I did not need to change. I went into the changing tent just to sit down for a while. I applied some vaseline and stuck some reflective tape on my speedo. Ray had slipped the reflective tape in my Bike-Run bag (thanks Ray). I ate a little watermelon and drank some water. The watermelon tasted great, but I was worried about it staying down during the run. I left the changing tent to start my first ever marathon.

An Amazing IMC tidbit - I fully expected to have to carry my gear bags to a rack and hang them up. For both transitions you simply leave the gear bag on the ground. A volunteer comes along and gathers up the gear bag and hangs it on a rack - so simple - so easy for the athlete.

THE RUN

My original plan had been to start running slowly and see how things turned out. Running slowly was not a problem - everything was going to be slow. Running fast was unthinkable. I walked the aid stations, drank, ate a little bit and drenched myself with sponges. It was really hot!!

My first mile was an 11:30 and I was really happy. I hit mile 2 in 22:30 - amazingly I was actually picking up the pace (if only slightly). I walked mile 4. At mile 6, I was caught by some guy who wanted ibuprofen. After Vineman I made sure that I had Ibu with me, so I handed him a tablet. We chatted for a while until it became obvious that we knew each other. It was Dennis from RST and Greg Pressler's friend. Dennis pulled me to the run turnaround by alternating running and walking. Dennis kept talking about his Run special needs bag that contained a pair of dry socks. I remembered that my SNB only had Gu.

[see Note to Self from Bike Special Needs bag section - vary the contents of the Special Needs Bag]]

My split time for the 13.1 miles to the turnaround was 3 hours even. My friend Bill ran into and out of the turnaround looking great. He had a mechanical on the bike that cost him almost an hour.

Then I remembered that I had also put a pair of dry socks in my special needs bag. In fact I had brought a pair to Canada just for this purpose. The socks were pretty old, so if I chose not to wear them it was no big deal if I lost them. I was so happy that I had remembered to put fresh socks into my Needs Bag. The socks would only provide a momentary relief, but that moment would be enough. I needed something to brighten my day.

Dennis and I sat down to open our special needs bags. We ripped off our shoes and wet socks. We opened our special needs bags. Dennis pulled out a pair of dry socks.

OOPS! I had forgotten to pack the socks. I put my sweaty socks and shoes back on. Putting wet, icky socks back on was not the most pleasant feeling. The delivery truck with the chicken soup stopped at the turnaround.

I originally had hoped to be off the course by the time the chicken soup hit the aid stations. I had never envisioned myself only being halfway through the run when the chicken soup came out. Oh well, here I was and the soup smelled good. I sipped a cup and almost hurled. What is manna from heaven for many triathletes just did not sit well with me - I gagged at the first sip.

We started back down the road toward Penticton. The sun was starting to set which meant that it would finally cool off. Ray was just climbing the hill to the turnaround. He was surprised that the turnaround had come so soon - he looked smooth in his running form - nice and steady.

For Dennis and I it was:

Run some.

Walk more.

I ate what little I could at the aid stations.

Ray caught up to us just as we caught up to Bill. Bill had looked great leaving the turnaround, but he was struggling through a low point now. The four of us marched slowly along - it was good to know that every step was bringing us back into town. After a while Bill perked up again, and he and Ray started jogging back to town. Dennis and I kept shuffling along. A mile or two later, Dennis ducked into a porta-potty and I just stopped by the side of the road - the first time that I had urinated in 12+ hours! Believe it or not it was a major mental boost. I had really been starting to worry about my kidneys.

It became apparent that Dennis had a lot more left in his legs than I did. I wished him luck as he disappeared around a corner. My feet were really starting to hurt. I did not have any blisters or abrasions, but it felt like someone had taken a meat tenderizer to the soles of my feet and my toes. I was almost hoping that a couple of my toes would just fall off so that they would not hurt anymore. I came around a corner and hit another aid station. On the other side of the aid station Ray and Bill were walking slowly. They had dropped their pace in order to wait for me - THANKS GUYS!!!!

At that point we were about 20 miles into the marathon. Two women came running by us like it was a 10K - I wondered where they got the energy from. A few seconds later about 4 guys caught us and they laid out their very detailed plan for breaking 14 hours. It is great to be at a race with sooooo many engineers - almost everyone is incredibly analytical. The plan was pretty simple - hold 11 minute miles and we would break 14 hours, but these guys had even calculated walking zones and rest stops..... To everyone we passed - two of the guys kept on saying - "hop on the 9:00 o'clock express. You can do it."

It turns out that the guys had also shared their plan with the two women who had run by like gazelles. The women had found something inside themselves and they chose to push it hard into town. Unfortunately we passed them about 1/2 mile later as they could not hold that pace that they had charged ahead with.. We left the water line of Skaha Lake and started climbing the rollers. I passed another guy and this time I looked back and saw a Tri-DRS singlet. I introduced myself and finally met Jay Capers.

The group of us was still shuffling along trying to hold 11 minute miles. The detail oriented engineer guys were still calculating our odds of breaking 14. I dropped off as we went through the Skaha rollers, but I was able to catch the group again on the downhills. Ray and Bill were feeling pretty good, so they pulled ahead. This left me with the two human calculators/cheerleaders. The guy on the right introduced himself. I was not hearing or concentrating very well so I thought that he said his name was "Ralph." He corrected me that his name was not "Ralph" but "Rolf" - even my feeble brain was able to decipher that I was running next the "Keeper of the IMC Lodging and Goal Times List" I introduced myself to Rolf Arands.

The guy on my left said "didn't I give you a sandwich at the bike Special Needs Bag?" It was John Welch of RST. He had saved me on the bike and he was trying to pull me in for a sub 14 hour finish.

As before - we were shuffling along - only we had picked up the pace to give ourselves a margin of error. We debated about how fast we were running

"do you think this is a 9 minute mile?" "I think it's more like an 8:30" "Yeah right, like we could run 8:30's right now?" "It sure feels like an 8:30"

We turned onto Main Street and hit the aid station. I had to walk and asked Rolf and John to run on. Rolf tried to talk me into running with them, but I was not up for it. The finish line was getting closer, but I was hurting too much - my feet were lodging a formal protest.

I kept trudging along on Main Street. The fans were incredibly helpful. An ironvet on a bike talked to me for over a block - he was very motivating. I promised him that I wouild run again when there were three stoplights to go. Hurricane Bob Mina passed me and I congratulated him. I started jogging again.

Two blocks from the Hog's Breath I picked up my pace. I ran (actually ran - not jogged) the last few yards of Main Street - high fiving the kids and cheering with the crowd. I could not believe that I was running. The left turn onto Lakeshore Drive was incredible. I ran hard to the finish line and crossed in 14:10:48.

I completed my goal. I had gone from couch to Canada in 10 months. I am an IRONMAN.

POST-RACE:

Two incredible volunteers escorted me from the finish line. Somehow I received my IMC towel, finisher's medal and T-shirt (the correct size - how do they do it?). The ladies escorted my to the line for the massage tent per my request - they stayed with me for several minutes until they were sure that I was OK - they brought me water and some chicken soup. The chicken soup actually tasted great. I had a great massage, and I walked back to the finish line to find my wife who was standing right next to the results tent. It was sooooo good to see her. I got my congratulatory hug (over the snow fence) and I heard how proud she was of my accomplishment. After a very long day that was filled with ups and downs it was very uplifting to hear her words.

I picked up my gear bags, changed into some dry clothes, had my finishers photo taken (remember to wear your finisher's shirt and medal - they look great in the photo), I soaked my legs in a hot tub, and I waited to no avail for some pizza. I then picked up my bike and Winter and I walked back to the Rochester. My eyes felt like they had a salt shaker dumped in them - I had to squint to see anything. Winter was hungry after waiting for me for several hours so we went to the Iguana for a bite - nothing else was open at 11:00pm. Fajitas in Canada are not what I am used to - what is a tomato tortilla anyhow???? My stomach was still in an act of rebellion so I took my meal home to eat the next day. We turned on Channel 11 to watch the 17 hour finishers - there was no way that I was going to make it back to the finish line. The fireworks (like the start cannon) went off a little early. I then realized why my eyes were barely open - I was EXHAUSTED. I passed out almost immediately.

THE DAYS AFTER

I awoke on Monday feeling hungry (finally). My stomach was still a little tender, but I managed to eat.

I was happy to have completed my first IM in such difficult conditions, but I was frustrated that I had fallen apart during the race. 14 hours was much longer than what I had hoped to do.

I contemplated IMC '99. My legs hurt, my stomach still ached and I had not totalled the bills for the cost of IMC '98. I did not want to come back to Penticton again in '99. Then I thought twice - this race has the best organization and volunteers of any race that I have ever done. I want to do better than a 14 hour IM. In a month I would be ready to contemplate IMC '99, but I would not have a month to decide. I chose to submit my application for '99.

The rest of the day was a blur - finisher's merchandise, results book (Vineman and Wildflower's took about 3 months to arrive - IMC's was complete with pictures in about 10 hours), awards ceremony, shopping, packing, meeting friends, handing my bike off to Ray for the drive home. soon it was Tuesday morning and time to fly home.

Back home I evaluated the race. In Penticton, surrounded by IronVets, my finish did not look to stellar. As I reread my goals for the race and talked to non-triathletes I started thinking clearly again:

I have completed every one of my IMC '98 goals.

I am an Ironman.

I am not the same person that I was 10 months ago and I am very, very happy that I did what had to be done in order to finish.

To every IronVirgin out there - good luck training for your goals, and be sure to remember what your goals are!!!!

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aliviachan · 7 years ago

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Valentine's Day Fails

Hey! So I wrote a V-Day fic that went along with my 100 Prompts Challenge thing! It was for: #1 “That’s starting to get annoying.”

Summary:

Derek does his best to survive at his job. He does. Hell, he even refrains from ripping out customers throats with his teeth when the situation clearly warrants it. The only thing that makes it all worth it is a pair of honey eyes and a splattering constellation of moles. Oh, and it’s Valentine's Day.

AO3

Derek hated his job. He hated the people. He hated his boss. And above all, he hated having to spend his Saturday mornings standing in front of a cash register while pumpkin spice forced its way into his senses. Although he hated everything associated with the little coffee shop, there was one thing that made it all worthwhile.

“Uhm…mornin’,” the beautiful specimen with honey eyes and a constellation of moles dotted across his face muttered as he approached the counter. His hair was disheveled, and Derek had to resist the urge to shove his nose against his neck. “I’ll have the double chocolate chip frappuccino with white cheesecake, one shot espresso, no two. You know what? Might as well make it three.” And as if on cue the man tips his head back as he let out an almighty yawn.

There’s a story there, but Derek doesn’t know how to ask for it. Instead, he takes the crumpled five dollar bill before dutifully beginning to work on the sugary drink.

By now it was almost part of Derek’s routine to make this drink. He’d pour all the liquids into the cup to make one sugary concoction that would leave his fingers and palms sticky until he got the chance to wash them. The line would build up by three people, and maybe one or two would start getting pissy. Derek would scribble the name ‘Steve’ on the cup unceremoniously, and carefully slide the drink toward the man, as he tried to ignore how fast his heart was beating. It would all be worth it, however, once the man took his first sip, only to let out a moan that would even be too sinful for the devil himself to hear.

Derek’s mind would go blank for the splittest of seconds before his boss would yell for him to hurry up with the line.

What could he say? Derek was a weak man.

Steve came to the coffee shop every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday from noon to near close. He’d read his thick textbooks, or type a mile a minute on his laptop while consuming his beverage of choice.

Derek, being the creeper that he was, watched with flushed cheeks as Steve’s pretty pink lips wrapped around the straw. His cute little cupid’s bow would thin out as Steve savored every drop of the frappuccino.

“You're gross,” Isaac said from beside him, causing Derek to startle at his presence. Rolling his eyes, Isaac wiped down his counter a few times before huffing. “You smell like a high school’s locker room. Knock it off and go clean something you perv.”

Glaring at the curly haired teen, Derek snatched the towel from his hand as he made his way to the kitchen. He spared a glance over his shoulder at Steve and promptly ran into the pull door when a little bit of the creamy colored drink spilled out from the side of his mouth. +

‘Today was the day!’ Derek chanted to himself as he fussed with the single rose and small box of chocolates that he stealthily hid behind the counter. Boyd and Erica were both out for the day, and even Isaac had a date planned for Valentines Day. Meaning, Derek was left all alone to hold down the shop, which also meant he could freely put his plan in motion without the fear of being teased by his friends.

The front door chimed open, and in came Steve and a pretty redhead.

"I mean, who needs that many flowers?” Steve exclaimed with his arms flailing each and every way. “That’s starting to get annoying and let's not forget desperate. Who even agreed to invite Valentine's day? Where they all just like, ‘I know, let's have a holiday to mis-teach young people what love is, entice them to be greedy and inculcate insecurity. It's a great idea, and we'll sell more crap they never needed; think of the economy. All those cards, chocolates, sweat-shop lingerie items in chemical dyed tissue’!"

The both of them get in line, and Derek was building up to a freakout as the customer in front of narrowed her eyes and repeated her order to regain Derek’s attention. Snapping out of his haze, Derek quickly typed in her very pricey drink and took her card before dealing with the next customer, until the only people left where another girl then Steve and his friend.

“Derek! Have you seen my phone? I must have left it here last— oooh, what is this?!”

Turning around, Derek stared wide-eyed at Erica as she held up the flower and box of chocolates. He paled and nearly died from embarrassment as Erica crooned as she dug around in search of a card or something else equally as embarrassing.

“Is this for Steve? You finally grew some balls when none of us are here to witness it? That’s low Derek, and I’m going to tell Laura on you.” Erica threatened and glared at him warningly.

Derek thinks that would be the end of it, but of course, it wasn’t. He watched with horrified eyes as Erica’s nostrils flared before a mischievous look glinted in her eyes. Reaching out the grab her, Derek growled as the blonde slipped past his fingers. Blushing would have been no problem, but what Derek did was go as red as a beetroot and radiate heat like a hot pan. You could have cooked a three-course meal on his face. No-one could have missed it. He wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He wished to 'do a Daphne' and drop through a scooby-doo style trap door in the floor, but there was no rescue from this embarrassment, it was absolute. Torture. Utter humiliation. The memory would be seared into Derek’s brain forever, ready to pop up and torment him again when he’s ever in a quiet moment.

“Yo, Stevie!” Erica singsonged. “My best friend in the whole wide world is smitten with you, but very socially awkward. He was going to give you these, but I could tell that he was going to chicken out, so I’m doing it for him. Happy Valentine's day!”

Bright brown eyes looked at the rose as if it had suddenly grown wings. “That’s...not my name?” It came out like a question, but Derek watched in mortified amazement as Apparently-Not-Steve took the gifts. “I’m Stiles.”

“You’re not...what do you mean you’re not Steve? He’s been calling you that for months now!” Erica exclaimed. “Derek, how could you not know his name?” She directed the last question to Derek without taking her eyes off of Ste-Stiles.

Derek opened and closed his mouth a few times before scurrying off to make the drinks that the other customers were still waiting for. Happy for the escape, Derek avoided eye contact as Erica talked to ‘Stiles’ and his friend.

“Uh...hey,” Stiles said, pulling Derek away from his frazzled tasking. “So...you want me to be your valentine?

A range of emotions passed across his face before he stops on a guarded frown. He didn’t think that SteveStiles would be the type to make fun of someone who had a crush on him, but Derek wasn’t a fan of being this vulnerable. Stiles seemed to realize that Derek wouldn’t be saying anything anytime soon and decided to power through.

“Well, that’s cool. I mean I've been crushing on you for awhile, and I thought it was painfully one-sided, and now that I know it’s not, I’m very much relieved, but at the same time I have no idea what to do.” Stiles confessed with a troubled pout on his face. “I mean I’ve been coming here for weeks and all of this coffee is really cutting into my budget, but it’s just been an excuse to come see you again, and now that I say it out loud I realize how pathetic that sounds. Then there’s that fact that—”

“You like me?” Derek’s face was filled with awe as a smile slowly pulled at the corners of his mouth. “Like, seriously?”

“Dude, have you seen you? Plus you wasted your hard earned money on capitalist bullshit, and based on that, I’m just going to assume that you are a secret softy.” Stiles said with a lopsided grin on his face.

“I’m not a softy,” he said a bit too petulantly to be believable. A permanent smile was on his face by now, and any chances there were of him killing Erica were slowly fading.

“Mmmm,” Stiles leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Derek’s cheek. “Whatever you say, big guy.”

A blush was on both of their cheeks, and Derek kind of felt disappointed that Stiles had kissed his cheek instead of somewhere else. “We could...I mean..if you wanted to we could go...somewhere.”

“Are you asking me on a Valentine's date?”

“Trying to at least.”

Stiles smiled brightened up the room, and Derek felt himself being gravitated towards him. It’s strange – frightening even – how you can go from someone being a complete stranger to then being entirely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to function without them because you sure as hell couldn’t imagine being without them now.

Side Note: If anyone has a request for anything don’t be afraid to send it in. Just give me the number from the list you're interested in and then, if you want to, add whatever other requests you want it to have in the fic (i.e., if you want it angsty or werefox!Stiles, etc.) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

#Sterek #sterek fics #send me requests #stiles stilinski #derek hale #valentinesday #valentines2018 #valentine's day #ao3fic #ao3feed

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benjamingarden · 4 years ago

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Monthly Meal Plan + Grocery Haul: January 2021

The new year has finally arrived! I'm not sure what grocery shopping looks like in your neck of the woods now that there's yet another rise in COVID cases, but it's actually not too bad in ours. For the most part you can select curbside pick-up or delivery if you desire. And lately I desire.

The photo above and info below outline our monthly grocery shopping. We will need a few additional items: milk comes from our farmers market as does coffee for Jay (probably another $20.00 total for the month), and I may get some fresh greens in another 1-2 weeks (less then $10.00).

Our groceries for January came from BJ's and Healthy Living, a local health food store. Typically we would also do a Hannaford order or a trip to the commissary, however, we are really well stocked on pantry and freezer items. You'll notice there is no meat purchased. Our freezers are fairly well stocked and we will actually be bartering with a farmer friend - our products for some of his chicken and pork, this weekend. We are finally (FINALLY) getting eggs from the Coop Girls, and as you know, we put up a lot of veggies in the freezer from the summer garden.

I don't plan on returning to Healthy Living until March so I stocked up with that in mind. We will probably place another BJ's order mid February-ish.

The total spent for January is anticipated to be $439.41 or just over $100.00/week.

$269.41 (groceries already purchased) + $140.00 (bartered meat) + $30.00 (coffee, milk & greens anticipated to purchase throughout the month) = $439.41. Our January purchases are partly for January and partly for the months to come.

Healthy Living - $174.84 (almost half of this amount is from 2 items....the dandy blend and the goji berries)

BJ's - $94.57

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Our Groceries:

Healthy Living:

The Dandy Blend Herbal Coffee Alternative is AMAZINGLY good. I absolutely love it for iced or hot "coffee". It's kind of expensive and a bit of a splurge. I purchased 2 bags which will last me through April or so. The 14 oz bags cost $22.49 each. I've looked on Amazon and they sell a slightly smaller (11 oz) bag for around the same price so this seems to be the best deal.

The Goji Berries are added to a trail mix (we already have the other ingredients on hand) for Jay that he eats daily. Macular degeneration runs in his family and goji berries have been shown to help prevent this. Plus they are high in antioxidants so we decided it was worth it regardless of whether or not it works to prevent M.D.. These bags are 8 ounces and $12.49 each. I should have bought them at Amazon because I'm pretty sure I could have gotten them cheaper. I'll research it and purchase them there going forward if it makes sense to do so. The 2 bags should last him just about 2 months.

I know there are cheaper dairy alternatives then Oatly ($4.99/carton) but I really love Oatly. I prefer the lowfat version but they were out of everything except for these 4 cartons.

We bought 12 pounds of mixed yukon & red potatoes ($1.99/lb) and 5 pounds of sweet potatoes (I splurged and bought my FAVORITE Japanese Sweet Potatoes at $2.99/lb - I call them "cake sweet potatoes" because they are soooo sweet). Oliver and I are on the last of the sweet potatoes that we harvested and stored in the fall. I can't believe they are almost gone!!! We go through a moderate amount of potatoes and only purchase them organic, and the absolute best ones we've found are at Healthy Living. This is easily a 2 month supply of each.

I have a few apples and mandarin oranges left for fruit but Jay prefers grapes so I bought a bag of grapes ($2.99/lb) and I treated myself to a couple of grapefruit ($1.49/lb). I typically try to only buy fruit that is $1.99 or less per pound (exception being the frozen berries & cherries), but that definitely didn't happen this month.

Que Pasa is our new favorite brand of tortilla chips. They are organic, non-GMO, and reduced sodium. We very rarely have chips but when we do it's tortilla for the win. They were on sale (although I'm wondering if this is a permanent sale because they were on the same sale a few months ago when I last bought them...) at $2.99/bag.

I usually make my own bread and tortillas but I like to have a bit of each in the freezer just in case. I've used up my freezer stash of both so I purchased a loaf of Dave's bread and a pack of limited ingredient corn tortillas and whole wheat flour tortillas for the freezer.

BJ's:

Not shown in the photo, we also bought a bag of frozen organic sweet cherries and a bag of frozen organic blueberries (3 lb bags for $13.99/ea.). We have 2 bags of each in the freezer already. We each eat a 1/2 cup of a mix of the two every single day so we should be good for a couple months. I also bought Kiwi (3 lbs for $6.49) as yet another splurge because we haven't had them in forever and one bunch of organic bananas (2 lbs for $1.59). We've found that our very favorite bananas are organic Chiquita. They seem to be the creamiest. I have no idea why, but the non-organic Chiquita's and other brands organic and non-organic just aren't the same. Strange....

I keep riced cauliflower on hand in the freezer because it's one of the cheapest ways to buy cauliflower off season. (I roast it from frozen in the oven to use as a veggie side) I wanted to make some buffalo cauliflower though for veggie tacos, and I need pieces instead of having it riced so I bought a bag (2 lbs for $4.29). Jay likes cooked cauliflower with cheese sauce so he'll have that as a side a few times too.

We eat a lot of mushrooms and BJ's seems to have the best price on them so I bought 2 which will get us through a few weeks. (24 oz containers for $4.99/ea.)

Pom Juice was a special request by the husband. We don't usually buy juice but he requested it last month for the first time in a long time and has been enjoying it. (48oz bottle $8.99) I'm running low on frozen peas and frozen corn and BJ's carries the organic at a reasonable cost (each is 4 lbs for $6.99) so I stocked up. I'm low on carrots too and their price isn't bad (5 lbs organic for $3.99). Also not shown is a 3-pack of frozen pizza. We keep a couple vegan frozen pizzas and a couple meat/cheese frozen pizzas on hand all of the time for the days we need something quick. We still have 2 of the vegan so we just stocked up on the meat version (3 pack DiGiornio $13.99).

January's Meal Plan

My goal was to start posting our meal plans again, per request from many of you, but to also add photos of some of the meals this time around. Unfortunately, I have yet to get in the habit of photographing dinner before it's served. I hope to add this to the posts as I remember.

A Note About Our Meal Plans

I create monthly meal plans because it's what I've found to be easiest for me. There may be some change but usually not much. Changing works because I rotate the same 30+ meals so we would use the ingredients at some point over the next 30-45 days. If we have perishables that need to be used up then that becomes priority and I may make changes to avoid food waste.

I usually make 2 separate meals - Jay and I eat completely different at this point. He used to be willing to eat what I eat as his side but not so much anymore. He's not a fan of whole grains and can only tolerate one type of veggie per meal. So.....you can see that I tend to eat the same thing multiple nights because it's easy and I don't mind at all. Where there's only one meal noted, I make a meat & cheese version for him and a vegan version for me. Where there's no veggie side noted for him I use whatever I've got that needs using up or I select a frozen veggie.

You will notice that for Jays meals there are a few noticeable rotations.

In general, chicken meals are Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Pork is Tuesdays. And Beef is Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. This is in part due to the fact that he tells me it's illegal to serve chicken 2 days in a row. (insert eye roll)

Also, other then the occasional new recipe that I try, his meals rotate about every month and a half (a different rotation will show up for summer).

Our Sundays rotate around the same 5 meals (Tamales, Tacos, Homemade Pizza, Pot Roast, and Meatballs) because it's our farmers market day which means I want something super simple to make. I do not make the tamales, we love those by Tucson Tamale (not an affiliate link). Around us we can find a small variety at Healthy Living. Tucson Tamale offers meat, vegetarian, and vegan varieties and they are sooooo delicious. They do use oil in all of their tamales so if you are completely oil-free this is unfortunately not an option for you.

Recipe Links:

If I have posted the recipe or use a recipe posted by someone else this month then I will link to it below. If there's a meal you'd like to see the recipe for let me know!

Quick & Easy Chicken Parm

Homemade Pizza - this is the pizza dough recipe we use

Creamy Cajun Chicken Pasta (Budget Bytes)

Apple & Stuffing Stuffed Pork Chops (Betty Crocker)

Oven-Baked BBQ Pork Ribs

Hamburger Potato Casserole (You Tube - The Hillbilly Kitchen)

Chicken Pot Pie Muffins (You Tube - The Hillbilly Kitchen) *I used this as a guide - I use my pie crust recipe and my pot pie recipe and bake it as muffins as shown in the vlog)

Honey Mustard Chicken (Bowl Of Delicious)

Bourbon Dijon Ham Steak (Martha Stewart - is delicious without the bourbon as well)

Mac & Cheese

Easy Weeknight Chicken Cordon Bleu

Scallops Gratin (Food Network - Ina Garten) - I use this recipe without the alcohol

Slow-Cooker Mississippi Pot Roast

Veggie Stew with Black Pepper Biscuits (vegan) (Vegan Richa)

Split Pea Soup (Vegan) (Simple Veganista)

What about you? Do you have favorite meals that you rotate? Do you have to cook multiple meals for different eaters?

Monthly Meal Plan + Grocery Haul: January 2021 was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

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