#pls watch it was so meaningful
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keerysfreckles · 5 months ago
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how do i tell you? — OP81
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pairing: oscar piastri x gn!reader (one mention of reader wearing heels but you can just skip it)
summary: oscar's favorite ways to show you he loves you.
warnings: i had a vision, i started yapping, i couldn't stop (sorry not sorry!)
a/n: pls let mclaren get their strategies right in hungary 🙏🙏
masterlist !
⋆ ˚ 。 ⋆ ୨୧ ˚
three years ago when you started dating oscar, you noticed he had quiet but meaningful ways of showing you he cares and loves you.
lately you've noticed he has his favorites.
¹
you had dragged oscar with you to the mall, since your best friend came down with the flu over the weekend. he agreed, happy he was able to spend more time with you over the summer break.
after you exited the first store, he insisted on carrying your two bags, full of new clothes and accessories.
"are you sure?"
"positive," he sends you a warm smile, after taking the bags out of your hands.
"i could carry at least one you know," you try to reason.
he responds by sliding his hand into your own, "doesn't mean you have to."
now every time he joins you for a shopping trip, big or small, he always carries your bags. doesn't matter if it's one, or up to seven. he always tells you his hands or arms don't hurt from the weight, considering the training he does. you simply react by kissing his cheek whenever he takes a bag. a win-win, if you ask oscar.
²
every race weekend your able to attend, oscar and you are attached at the hip.
if he's walking into the paddock for media day? you're walking with him, hand in hand. (once he carried you on his back because of rain. he was worried your heels would get ruined!)
he just wants company while walking to go tell zak or andrea something? he wants you to be there with him.
he's eating lunch with lando and their managers? he's positive you'll be there in less than five minutes, once you notice he's not in his driver's room.
you wait at the egde of the stage during fan zones. the biggest smile adorning your face as you watch oscar and lando answer ridiculous questions from fans. your heart warms whenever someone asks about you two. with a picture displayed on the screen behind the boys, usually from your recent instagram posts, featuring oscar.
nine out of ten times during races you're found in the mclaren garage. the other one time you're most likely in oscar's driver's room. the team even got you your own pair of papaya headphones.
² ½
whenever oscar is in the garage, he's always near you.
secretly, the admin of the mclaren account loves it. he always seems to snap pictures and take videos of you two together. recently, he's gotten three moments on film that the fans absolutely adore.
once was during one of the practices. oscar and lando were both told to wait for the rain to stop, so they could get clean laps in. meaning everyone was just waiting in the warmth of the garage.
oscar was sitting down in a chair, with a few mechanics beside him, as they listened to lando yap about whatever his brain could think of in the moment.
you walk over to oscar, giving him his water bottle as you stand beside him. he silently thanks you by leaning his head against your stomach. you can't help but smile and run your fingers through his hair, as you're now stuck listening to lando's nonsense.
another instance the admin was happy to be in the right place at the right time, was right after a race.
oscar had started in fifteenth position after having a bad qualifying due to extreme winds. he managed to turn the double digit place start into a podium, as he parked in front of the third place sign.
as soon as oscar got out of his car, you were pretty sure you were screaming the loudest for the australian. after getting weighed, he ran right towards you. the team around you two couldn't help but swoon as you wrapped your arms tightly around oscar's neck. you saw oscar's squished cheeks and crinkled eyes through his open visor, and took the opportunity to kiss his nose through the small space. (that picture is pinned on the opeightyone account, due to oscar's request.)
³
oscar loves waking up next to you. his arms are always wrapped around you, whether your facing him or not. he wants nothing more than the feel your warmth, and the comfort of his bed, as he starts his day.
as soon as he wakes up he pulls your body into him, instantly making you the little spoon. it doesn't always wake you up, and even if it does you never mind.
"osc," you groggily giggle as his hands roam over your stomach under his borrowed shirt.
in response the boy shoves his face into your neck. he makes sure to remind you how warm that body part is, and if he could get buried there he would. you always laugh, never believing him. even if this is your routine almost every morning.
"can we just lay in bed all day?" oscar asks, his voice slightly mumbled from his mouth pressing against your skin.
"i thought you and lando has plans today," you remind him, only to hear him groan.
"i can just cancel. tell him i'm sick or something."
you turn around in oscar's arms, sleep still very evident in his eyes. but he still looks at you as if you're his whole world.
"he's one of your best mates. you can't just cancel last minute."
he starts to make up another excuse, but you're quick to beat him to it by bringing your lips to his.
he simply places his head back in the crook of your shoulder and neck. you shiver as his nose brushes lightly over your skin.
"ten more minutes," he states.
you silently agree by running your fingers through his hair. a habit you've picked up over the past few weeks. a habit oscar can definitely get used to.
the most meaningful way oscar has shown you he loves you happened last week. the gesture hasn't left your mind, and you can't help but get all giddy inside just thinking about it.
every time your parents come into town, they always take you and oscar out for a nice dinner. they both absolutely adore oscar. they always have, since you introduced him to them on your second day of ninth grade grade. they only loved the boy more once you two started dating. they saw how much you two loved each other, and it reminded them of how they acted when they were younger.
tonight was no different as oscar opened your door for you, walking in behind your parents to enter the restaurant your father picked on the way here.
you and oscar sat on one side of the table, with your parents sitting on the other. your mother noticed the loving eyes oscar would send your way when you told a story, or when you were just listening to something silly your father was explaining.
the night went on nicely, and you were about to finish and pay for your meals. you suddenly dropped your fork when something loud crashed from behind you. servers began picking up the trays and smashed plates and bowls, while you leaned over to pick up your fork from the floor.
oscar was quick to reach his hand towards the corner of the table, covering the sharp edge. he continued on with the conversation with your parents as you began to sit back up right.
your heart warmed immensely at the action oscar seemed to do so naturally. you placed your hand over his, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles, silently thanking him before he moved his hand into his lap. yours of course staying intertwined with his.
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grandlinedreams · 7 months ago
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|| i regret nothing I need Cooper Howard viscerally both pre and post Ghoulification
|| notes: semi Canon compliant, spoiler-ish for end of s1, semi-shifting pov, Lucy is adorable but baby girl you will be chewed up and spat out pls grow more spine, Dogmeat has never done anything wrong ever, godbless Cooper having a southern accent bc that's my accent, yeah, gonna do a sequel to this and a prequel on Coop and reader's first meeting, ok bye
|| warnings: weapons supplier!reader, couple of allusions to cannibalism, reader is not specifically gendered, NSFW ㅡ fingering/touching
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“Where are we going?”
Not for the first time today, or even the last week, Cooper questions why he's letting the Vaultie (“Lucy,” she informs him primly, “my name is Lucy.”) tag along. The dog, at least, is a good, reliable companion. Dogmeat trots dutifully at his side, her tail wagging as he stops to glare at Lucy.
“Supplies, Vaultie,” he tells her, relishes the flicker of annoyance in her eyes. “Need supplies or we'll both be knee deep in shit.” He pauses. “More than we already are.” 
She mumbles something he doesn't care to catch as he resumes walking, rolling his eyes as he adjusts his hat. He knows he could stand to be a little more sympathetic with the bombshell she's still dealing with, but he can't bring himself to ㅡ not when his daughter might still be alive out there, somewhere. (And his ex-wife, who he's pointedly trying to not think about too much.) 
Lucy is blessedly quiet for a good while, all the way until they get closer to where they're going. Cooper doesn't need that piece of shit vault-tec device on her arm to know where he is, but Lucy says it anyways.
“It's a town,” she mumbles at the cluster of ramshackle buildings, surrounded by the clustering of trees so much like Filly ㅡ but isn't. “Is thisㅡ”
“Yes,” he answers, “now shut it and walk.”
Lucy huffs. “I don't know if you've realized neither of us have means to pay for anything,” she protests, “but the general rule ofㅡ” 
“Vaultie.” If looks could kill, she'd be six feet under. He's never had much patience, but she’s already reached the bottom of it and keeps digging. “Shut the fuck up about your goddamn rules. If you haven't noticed, nobody up here gives a damn about playing by what's wrong and what's right.” He gives her a meaningful look. “Now if you don't want me to leave your ass to whatever comes along next, you'll be quiet and let me handle it.” 
Lucy's mouth shuts with an audible click, and Cooper turns on his heel to resume walking, Dogmeat at his heels. 
Like Filly, the center of buildings bustle with the day to day of so many others, the cacophony of animal sounds along with chatter ㅡ Cooper spares Lucy a brief glance to watch her struggle to keep up and scoffs to himself, shaking his head as he continues.
He knows where he's going, a little shop shoved between two others, narrow but deeper than the other two, because he's been here before. Several times, actually. Which accounts for the familiarity with which he strolls over the threshold and leaves Lucy and Dogmeat to follow. 
There's the jingle of what might be a bell over Lucy's head when she follows, blinking at the interior. Neat and tidy, or at least as much as can pass for such things on the surface ㅡ rows of weapons and other assorted things on shelves and stands. 
Lucy watches The Ghoul rap his fist on the counter. “I know you're here,” he calls, “you never leave this damn place!”
She expects whoever it is to come scuttling out with the tone of voice he uses and being as accustomed to his rougher attitude, and she listens to the clatter of something further in the shop.
“If that's your greeting nowadays,” comes the answer, “you can fuck off.” 
To Lucy’s surprise, The Ghoul husks a laugh instead of offering another threat. Footsteps approach, and Lucy blinks at the person who rounds the corner. 
“You,” you accuse, finger almost into his chest, “thought I told you I was done dealing with you if you couldn't work on your manners.” 
Lucy stares, and watches as you turn towards her and raise an eyebrow, eyeing her with unrestrained curiosity, then at Dogmeat. “A vaultie and a dog,” you say, then glance back at The Ghoul. “So, taking in strays, huh?”
The Ghoul grimaces. “Guess so.” He clears his throat. “Need supplies again, sweetheart.”
“Figured as much,” you say, arms folding across your chest. Lucy decides she likes you, because you're standing up to him ㅡ and he's letting you. “Take it you have no way of paying, again.”
Lucy wants to tell The Ghoul I told you so, because he can shit on all her little rules all he likes but the surface still deals in keeping the scales balanced. You have to eat too, so it's fair that you're expecting payment in the nonexistent caps they have. The Ghoul, on the other hand, tries a different route. 
“Oh come on now sugar,” The Ghoul wheedles, tone almost what could be considered as sweet. Playing at a gentleman for the way he leans against the cobbled together counter, even goes as far as to take his hat off and place it down. “Don't be like that.”
“Don't you sugar me,” you counter with an attitude that honestly startles Lucy for both the lack of genuine bite or answering hostility from The Ghoul. This isn't the first time you've met, she realizes, and is also quietly a little horrified to register that this almost sounds like flirting. “You're a pain in the ass, you know that?”
The Ghoul almost grins. “At least I'm consistent. Besides, you know you miss me when I'm gone.” 
You snort, pressing your lips together to hide a smile. Lucy feels a tiny bit uncomfortable with the atmosphere, like she's watching something she shouldn't be privy to. 
“Yeah, yeah,” you answer, bustling around to shove several fabric wrapped packs into his chest and giving him a meaningful look. “You owe me.” 
It's definitely flirting now, Lucy notes as The Ghoul's face lights up in a way that's still entirely human, tracking your movements with something far softer than anything she's ever seen from him. 
The turn towards her and head jerk to her and Dogmeat is as clear as dismissal as she's ever seen, to make herself scarce ㅡ so she does, but not before she catches the peripheral glimpse of the way you let him reach for you, almost melting into him for the way he moves to undoubtedly murmur something. 
That something is not the sweet words of a long time lover, but it's probably about as close as you're going to get with things the way they are.
 
“Anyone causin’ you trouble lately?” 
You roll your eyes. “Besides you?” He gives you a look, and you shake your head. “No, and even if there was, you know I can handle myself.” You turn to throw him a teasing look over your shoulder. “Don't tell me you're getting soft on me, old man.” 
It's Cooper's turn to snort, even as he moves to follow you. There's a sort of peace to watching you sort through boxes of shell casings and bottles of powder, letting his gaze drift over your body. 
When you turn, he doesn't even bother to hide the way he's watching you, and you arch an eyebrow. “What?”
“Nothin’,” he returns. “Can't I admire you?”
You roll your eyes. “I'm too expensive for you, Cooper.” It's a playful taunt, one that incites a little flare of something in his eyes as he approaches, the jingle of his spurs as he comes to loom over you, cages you in against the shelves of “inventory”. 
“Really now,” he drawls, leans in, eyes predatory dark. A lifetime ago, you might have been scared. But the wastelands made no qualms about beating fear out of people just as quick as it snuffed out life all together. “Here I was thinkin’ I might get a discount.” He reaches, thumbs at your bottom lip with his gloved digit. “What's the askin’ price, sweetheart?” 
This close, he smells like the wastelands and sunbaked leather, with a little bit of blood ㅡ but you don't mind. Never have, not sure you ever will. Not when it comes to him, anyways.
He's a dangerous man. A man with a reputation that's well-earned, spoken in hushed whispers and anything but nice. But you let him slot a leg between yours, lean in, press his lips to your hair. You smell like gunpowder and hot metal, grease stained fingertips and more than a couple bruises and scars for your efforts. 
Sometimes Cooper contends with the idea he might need you just as much as he needs that chem that keeps him sane. Admits it here and there, quietly to himself when he wanders in, squashes it down that he makes the trips sometimes just to make sure you're still alive. Not like he'd know if you were, till he sees you. Not sure what he'd do if he someday came up and found you gone. No note, no goodbye ㅡ quick and quiet, the cruelty of the wastelands.  
“Didn't answer my question, darlin’.” He mumbles, lips to your cheeks now. Soft skin, kept carefully with rationed doses of radaway and a healthy heap of keeping your cute little self out of business that doesn't involve you. “Come on, I asked you real nicely.” 
You hook your fingers in the loops of his belt, pull him closer. He can feel the jump of your heartbeat under his lips, now at your jawline. A soft, shaky inhale. Selfishly, he wants to keep you. Steal you away, greedy to keep you for himself. Hates the idea of whatever scum that rolls in that you have to deal with on your own. You can handle yourself, he knows that. 
Doesn't stop that little piece of him that's still truly Cooper Howard from worrying. But he knows better than to think he can protect you, because he can't. So he does what he can.
Your skin is soft under his teeth, forgiving to the nip of them, the blooming blossom of pink that reminds him of strawberries. The noise you make is just as sweet, and he wonders if you'd taste like that, too. 
“I'm waiting,” he prompts between little nips, mouth curving against your flesh when you grip at him tighter. There's a lot he could do to you, and not a lot you wouldn't let him. “Don't tell me this big ol’ cat’s got your tongue, little songbird.” 
Your lips part, and he expects either a sparky response or a soft plea for what this is tilting towards, partaking of something far softer than anything he's used to nowadays ㅡ  but you’ve always had a taste for throwing him for a loop, and you do it now. 
“Take me with you.” 
That snaps him out of his little hazy, touch-greedy daze, enough that he pulls away to look at you properly. “Repeat that?”
“You heard me.” You tug at the loops of his belt, eyes steely, expression firm. “Take me with you. Tired of this shitty little outpost. Figure it's time to move before I get myself into trouble I can't get out of.”
Cooper laughs. “Think you're runnin’ straight into that fire by askin’ what you're askin’, sweet thing.” A warning and a plea, mixed mish-mash in his words. Part of him wants you to stay here. Concrete, much as it can be, where he knows where you are. Other part says it'd be easier to watch your back if he saw it all the time. 
“That's not an answer, Cooper.” 
He snorts, softens at the edges again, a little sadder as he reaches to stroke your jawline, leans to bump his forehead to yours ㅡ radiation warm against radaway cold. “Wanna make sure you know what you're asking for, darlin’. I ain't your babysitter. Got my own shit to do.”
“I know.” There's that fire in your voice, the kind he loves and hates at the same time. “Wasn't asking for you to babysit me.” 
He swallows roughly. Lets his hands drift up your sides, tug at the tuck of your shirt, underneath to drag sun-worn leather against the soft skin of your abdomen. Relishes the way you shiver, leaning into his touch. “Can't promise nothin’, you know that.” 
Your smile promises the same kind of heartbreak his own words do, the kind rooted in the reality that the world doesn't deal in any absolute but death, and sure as shit won't give happy endings. Not anymore. “I know.” 
Cooper can't think of what to say to that, at least anything he's ready to, so he kisses you. Your lips are too soft against his, the warmth of your mouth reigniting that greedy, needy, human thing inside him. He pulls, digs his fingers into your soft, pliant skin, and he takes.
Takes what you willingly give him, hand over hand with nothing but that pretty little smile of yours. He muffles your gasp as he wedges his leg a little firmer, coaxes the part of your legs with a rough husk of, “just like that, dollface,” and delights too much in the sound of you moaning for him.
Hushed, quiet enough that there's no reason for Dogmeat or Lucy to come back yet (he doesn't know what they're up to nor does he really fuckin’ care at the moment), he lets himself indulge in the pleasure of your body against his. The sweet little sounds, half-gasped as he mouths at your neck, hitched to something almost like music as his hands wander. 
Pauses long enough to bite at the tip of his glove and tug, one then two, the bare, radiation scarred wander of his fingers over your body. It's selfish, the way he covets every little twitch and jump of your muscles, the choked gasp as he guides you into rocking against his leg. 
“You're so sweet for me, sugar,” he coos, syrupy as he picks you apart meticulously, piece by piece. Fingers still far too good at what they do when he replaces his leg with the press of them against you, remnants of a past life for how well he gets you to whimper his name. “Like ambrosia.” 
His fingers stroke, deceptively gentle, working over your slick, too-hot, achy skin until you’re panting and gripping at him, pleading for a relief only he can give you. And that’s exactly how he wants you, where all you can see and think of is him. 
The expression you make when he finally lets you come might truly be the most beautiful thing he’s seen in a very long time. Headier than the Jet, dizzying and making him swear as he jerks his clothed hips against yours, breath sharp in his chest. 
“Gonna be the death of me, I swear.” He bites at your neck, digs a little harder, scrapes his canines into your sweet, yielding flesh. He could devour you, take bite after sweet, sweet bite and actually test that theory about the strawberries. Crack the cage of your rib, feast on that beating yolk of heart that thumps so hard in your chest. 
“Gonna let me do it, sweet thing?” He rumbles against your ear. “Let me have it all?” 
Your eyes flash, lips pretty and swollen as they part to answer ㅡ and the bark of that damn mutt ruins it all. At least it's a warning for you both, because he's stepping back and letting you fix yourself with surprising speed as Lucy and Dogmeat return, an expectant look on the fuckin’ vaultie's face. 
“Well? Got what you need?"
Cooper snorts, tracks you instead of answering as you press your hand to his for a second, gone around the corner. Lucy frowns when you return, pistol strapped at your hip and a bandolier slung over your shoulder like his, broad pack strapped to your back. Like you planned for this.
And you did, he notes, but it hadn't been contingent on his agreement. Idly, he notes he never did answer you, not really. But he just hums, then turns towards Lucy, who looks between the two of you, confused. 
“Yeah,” he finally answers, “got what I need.”
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changsdoll · 7 months ago
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jisung with a breeding kink IM FERAL HJSSHJSSH
like… just imagine… pls hear me out
him just bending you over??? whispering FILTHY things into your ears??? watching his cum drip out of you???😖😖😖 i’m going insane
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han + breeding kink !
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he definitely gets lost mentally when he's pushed deep inside you and is struggling not to cum early. he (+ chan, changbin), is definitely the type to want to be more meaningful if he were to get you pregnant, probably aiming for missionary, but he gets so crazy when you're wrapped around him, he'd have to switch it up eventually.
each and every time, he's taking you from behind, your faced smushed into the pillows with little air, as he grips on your wrists to hold your arms behind you.
he's definitely a body worshipper when it comes to having a breeding kink. he'd whisper into your ear, making you go even weaker at the limbs, "you'd look so pretty with my babies inside you," as he's making sure every stroke scratches that special spot every time, giving your a suffocating, yet euphoric feeling.
whether or not you want kids or not doesn't matter, but he's want to make sure you feel as cherished as possible, leaving kisses down your neck once he flips you over and has your hands above your head, complimenting your figure and how soft your skin is every chance he gets. he's definitely the type so give you forehead kisses, and whisper sweet things beside your ear, "I love how well you take me, you're doing so great..~"
his favorite part is at the end when before he can pull out to cum on the outside, you'd lock your legs around him and hold him close to you, letting him fully creampie inside of you, your nails leaving light scratch marks on his back. his cum would spill out of you as he pulls himself from your cunt, and he'd use his fingers to push it back in.
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luna0713hunter · 4 months ago
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Hello ! ! How are you? I hope you're doing fine as usual, i hope you're taking care of yourself because you matter < 3. If you're taking requests, can i request wind breaker boys ( + suo ) with their crush who's the sweetest among the people in town but they're also dumb when it comes to romance (dating) stuff:3?
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A/n : Hello hello darling angel✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧how you doll?well arent you sweet?im doing fine,alittle bit tired but I'll managed~ and- oh my gosh!!!my first wind breaker request!!you cant believe how happy this makes me!!!!such a cute one too!!!hope uou enjoy reading it!! (And gosh im crushing so hard on Sou but mostly Hajime Umemiya!)
(also,im very slow at writing so pls forgive me )
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Wind Breaker boys with a sweet S/O
Featuring : Sakura Haruka,Hayato Suo
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Sakura Haruka
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•first of all,we know Haruka is no genius when it comes to love
•two clueless idiots
•when Haruka first saw you,he had immediately blushed crimson red as you took his injured hands in yours and gave him a worried look
•ever since he got to this town, he's been experiencing unusual kindness from everyone around him
•but you
•oh gods
•you're so different from everyone in his entire life that he doesn't know what to do with himself
•Haruka often finds himself wiping his sweaty palms on his trousers when he's around you;his heart beating wildly in his chest and his skin feeling awfully hot
•its not long before Umemiya points this out to him with his usual kind laughter
•at first, Haruka will deny this
•love?!who the hell falls in love at the first sight?!
•him. That's who
•but then,he starts getting these feelings
•he finds himself searching for you in every crowd,every place he visits
•if there's a fight, you're the first one he gets worried about
•and when you smile sweetly at him,he finds his heart beating out of his chest
•he accepts his feelings later,one night when he's walking you home and your figure is illuminated by the moonlight
•now comes the hard part;how the hell should he tell you his feelings?!
•and it doesnt help that you're the most dense person he's ever seen when it comes to romantic feelings
•and he's seen himself
•but eventually,you start taking some hints here and there
•when Haruka convinces Kotoha to finally make him some takeouts,
•he asks you come to the riverside with him at night
•and when you're laughing,sharing the last piece of the sandwich
•Haruka nervously reaches out and nudges his pinky to yours
•and when you immediately wrap your smaller finger around his,he covers his face with his hand
•a content smile settling over both your faces as your cheeks turn dark red
Hayato Suo
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•a gentleman
•this dude knows he's in love with you the moment you two meet
•he's not by all means in denial or anything
•but he won't rush in confessing his feelings to you
•Suo will wait, patiently,and drop a hint or two here and there
•expect a lot of romantic gestures from him
•maybe a bouquet of roses, afternoon tea along with your favorite sweets
•or going out on nights he has to do patrol,and end up sitting by the riverbank to watch the moon until the dawn
•Suo will try to give you anything you ever wished for
•after all, you're the sweetest being he's ever laid eye on
•but its no secret that you're slightly... oblivious to his feelings toward you
•and he even finds that cute
•but after a while of adoring smiles,and small, meaningful gifts
•you start to take the hint
•Suo is a kind human at heart, but he's never done any of things he's done with you to anybody else
• he doesnt smile softly at people around him like they've hung the moon and stars
•he doesnt randomly leave others small meaningful gifts here and there
•so when you finally gather enough courage to make a move, Suo's more than happy that you've finally realized his feelings toward you
• "Hayato-kun," your small voice immediately has his attention shifting to you, "do you perhaps....like me?"
•at that, he smiles brightly and takes hold of your hand in his
• a sweet kiss is pressed to the back of your hand and your face flushes deep red
• "ah," he says, "has my darling finally figured it out?"
• when you mumble out a shy "yes" and "sorry for taking so long", Suo will only pull you close and press a gentle kiss to your forehead
•"dont worry about it, my love"
• "you were worth the wait."
Part two (?)
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essentiallyleaf · 1 year ago
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Ya know what , I'll give you an idea
As a commercial pilot how bout a kink "plane sex"
And pls write Rosé with this kink
day 15. body worship. with. rosé.
1268 words.
tags.
kinktober ‘23, idol x male reader, body worship, lots of kissing and licking, feet stuff, abs stuff, oral sex, fingering, squirting, minor plane stuff, the dialogue just goes places idk, hold onto your suspension of disbelief for dear life, blasphemy(?).
notes.
this is barely even related to the ask, isn’t it? sorry, icyphilosopher, i really am (thank you so much for the inspiration though). well, my excuse is i watched Queen & Slim (it was alright, the soundtrack might be the best part. that and Daniel Kaluuya) and felt like crime today.
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The private jet has barely taken off when Rosé starts taking her clothes off, starting from the black heels, then proceeding with the black cropped blazer, the high-waisted black shorts, along with the belt and the chains attached to them, the polka dot black shirt, and finishing with the black stockings and her black underwear. She puts them all in a black trash bag and throws herself on the beige leather sofa face first, completely naked.
“Fuck this ‘No fires on the plane’ rule.” She complains into the beige pillow.
“I mean, if you want to burn them now and cause a fire, making the jet collapse on itself and getting us buried on the bottom of the northern Pacific, go ahead.” You reply nonchalantly as you take a sip of vodka while sitting cross-legged on one of the beige armchairs.
“Honestly, compared to the prospect of a ten-hour flight with you, that doesn’t even sound that bad”
It’s Rosé’s habit to burn clothes, phones, cars, (people,) anything that can be linked to her in a meaningful way, after every job. This time it was a fairly straightforward drug trade with this Yakuza syndicate in Osaka: give the talcum powder, take the money, go home. The road was somewhat bumpy and a couple heads had to pop, but what can you do. Oh, and the getting naked in front of you part, that was a thing way before you two started fucking.
You stand up from your seat and duck next to the couch as she turns her head towards you. Start caressing her smooth, long blonde hair as you admire her graceful features. How could such a cold, brutal criminal look so angelic?
“Are you in a hurry?”
“Leave no trace.” She recites her mantra matter-of-factly.
“You think someone’s on our trail?”
You lay on top of her and start kissing her shoulders, from the left, then move her hair to kiss her neck, to the right, and back a couple times.
“Someone’s always on your trail.” Your kisses start heading down her back, each a little wetter than the previous. “You know how it always ends with people like us, right?”
You think you hear Rosé’s voice break for a split second, but you could be wrong. Place your hands on her shoulders and start slowly making little circles with your thumbs as you keep traveling down.
“We get greedy and scared and die sad and alone?”
“We always trust one person too many”
As your trail of kisses gets to her lower back, right above the curve of her ass, you flip her body around. Bend her legs on her chest, then start massaging each foot with one of your hands, going from the middle of her soles, to her heels, to the balls of her feet, untangling her muscle fibers all the way through. You hear her humming in the meantime.
“So? Would you stop living your life for that?”
“I would try my best not to end my life because of that.” You bring her feet to your mouth and start pecking her toes, then travel down the inside of her feet and up again kissing her soles. “Plus, it gives me a sense of peace, of liberation”
“Ashes to ashes?”
“In that analogy, I would be… God?”
Take a long lick from her heel to the ball of her foot, ending by wrapping your lips around her big toe and licking all around it.
“Do you feel like one?”
“I don’t think God sees himself like we see him” She moves her other foot towards your mouth to signal you to switch, which you do, as your hands reach towards her small breasts and start softly playing with her rosy nipples. “Powerful men need people to adore them to feel immortal. Immortals don’t need our attention to be powerful”
“You think God is a woman?”
“I think God is a depressed fuck.”
You let out a chuckle. Then lower her knees again and place yourself between them to start kissing and licking her wonderful, sculpted abs. Your right hand almost instinctively starts lightly rubbing her already wet outer lips, your left grabbing her plump asscheek.
“What a short couple billion years alone in the button room could do to ya”
“But honestly, working on the wrong side of the law… I think it’s hard not to feel like one” She starts panting a little in between words.
“Ego?” Your mouth slowly travels down her lower stomach while your fingers play with her nub.
“Just, pure facts. I could kill a man that crosses my path at any time, and I have. Mmmmh. We just, own their lives. The decision to let them live on, or to end them, right then and there. It’s all ours. Yeahh- How do you not feel all-powerful when you have that?”
It becomes hard for her to complete a sentence without any moans in between.
“Does it matter?”
“W-What?”
Rosé’s focus is probably directed away from the conversation, and towards the feeling of your fingers opening her lips wide and your tongue taking one long lick from the bottom of her slit up to her sensitive clit.
“I don’t know them. Are decisions over the lives of people you don’t care about even worth making?”
You take several shorter licks around her slit, side to side, up and down, once in a while penetrating her hole slightly.
“What do y-youh care about?”
As her moans become longer and more frequent, her sentences become simpler and shorter.
“Right now, taking my money home”
Your tongue digs deep into her pussy, you try to reach every corner and crevice of her heat with it, and her whimpers tell you you’re doing a pretty good job at it.
“And th-en, what?”
Your mouth detaches from her right as she sounds like she’s going to give in. You get on your knees and pause for a second, looking at the empty floor of the plane. 
“...I don’t know, a legacy?”
“Villains have no legacy, they only leave bloody paper and hate behind them”
You get back down to face her, staring right down Rosé’s deep brown orbs. Your fingers return to her lower lips, and two of them make their way into her slippery walls, drawing a loud groan off of her. You start pumping in and out of her at an ever increasing pace.
“Love. I want someone to come back home to, to be there, waiting for me, to heal my wounds.” She’s now moaning right in your face, her pitch getting higher and higher, signaling her impending high, but her eyes are wide open and locked on yours. “To be able to spend time with, in silence, without it feeling awkward, not needing to worry about the future, just looking at her in the eyes, and, being in love.”
A few final pumps and Rosé starts repeatedly contracting around you, a stream of unholy water covering your entire hand and wrist in a profane coating, only a deep, tongue-filled kiss muting her screams as she finally can’t keep her eyes open anymore. You close yours with her as her arms wrap around your neck. The kiss lasts far longer than the already lengthy while she takes to recover from her strong orgasm. As both of you stare into each other’s pupils again, you’re the first to talk.
“How do you know when you’ve found what you’re looking for?”
“I don’t know. I think I’ll start from, looking at the junk I’ve collected on my way, before burning it”
-
footnotes.
god is a journey. progressively, leaf.
444 notes · View notes
desperate-gay · 1 year ago
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can i request you write a leah fic based on the song constellations by jade lemac
Constellations
Leah Williamson x fem!reader
SMUT 18+
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Leah Williamson has a reputation for sleeping around. People use more harsh terms to describe her, but that feels wrong since you know her. Well, you don’t know her; you play alongside her for the England national team and Arsenal. Once in a while, you both have a conversation, but nothing too deep.
Although, recently, the blonde has been approaching you more and more. Whether it was on the pitch during training, in the locker room, or even at team get-togethers.
You’d think she’d want to get to know more about you before flirting with you constantly, but hey, she’s got that reputation for a reason. She sees what she wants, and she goes for what she wants, and most of the time, she gets what she wants.
Now, of course, you find Leah attractive; anyone with eyes should. That doesn’t mean you’re just going to bend over for her. You never liked the idea of having one-night stands with one of your teammates and going back to training the next day like nothing happened. You also never liked the idea of sleeping around with anyone. It’s exhausting to invite someone into your bed just so they can fuck you and leave the same night.
You have always wanted a meaningful, loving relationship. Sure, you had your fair share in the past, but those obviously all ended up in the dump. None of which made you feel exhilarated. And the fact that the player on the team now wants to get into your pants is quite annoying.
Keira and Lucy always warn Leah to stay away from you. You’re the sunshine of the group that never fails to make someone smile. They didn’t want her to take that spark away from you. Alessia and Ella always glare at the defender’s attempts to flirt with you. You three are considered the gigglers of the lionesses. You guys are usually never seen without one another unless you are with your favorite person in the whole world, Esme Morgan.
If you aren’t with Tooney or Lessi, you are most definitely with the smiley gal. The two of you have the brightest smiles and most infectious laughs ever. Both are the kindest beings anyone could meet on this earth, plus, to mention, you two basically grew up together.
So when Esme found out what was happening, her usual chippy personality turned bitter. She knows Leah’s intentions, and she doesn’t want that anywhere near you. People may call her particularly protective over you, but she just doesn’t want to see you hurt is all.
When you noticed her attitude switch whenever the flirtatious blonde approached you, you assured her there was nothing to worry about.
Practice has just ended, so everyone is getting changed in the locker room. You are pulling your shirt over your head when you hear someone approaching you.
“You looked quite fit out there, darling.”
You whip around and see the one person who has enough confidence to say something like that with no hesitation.
“Thank you.” You say, looking down bashfully, never really knowing how to take compliments. The taller girl notices the red that starts to appear at the tip of your ears and smirks to herself.
She places her right hand on your hip before leaning in close to your ear. “You always look fit, my dear.” She whispers before moving your body to the side to walk past you. Your eyes follow her path with your mouth slightly open.
Ella, Alessia, Lucy, and Esme all watch the interaction happen with clenched jaws and piercing eyes. Keira doesn’t have the heart to be angry at her best friend, but she does sigh and look down to continue packing her kit. Leah can feel multiple eyes trailing her, but she doesn’t let it bother her. Overall, it’s your choice what happens between you two, not theirs.
Once you’re done with changing, Esme offers you a ride home so she can hang out and steal your ice cream. You, of course, accept her offer, wanting to spend more time with your best friend. When you get into her car, you plug in your phone to the aux cord and play your guy’s playlist in the background.
“Besides stealing all of my food, what do you plan on doing when we get to my home?”
She hums as a sign she’s trying to think of an answer. “I’m not sure yet; I haven’t gotten that far.” You scoff at her teasing smile and quickly return it.
As you pull into the parking space in front of your loft, you notice a man standing on concrete with a bouquet of multiple different flowers, looking confused. You and Esme step out of the car, and you make your way towards the stranger.
“Excuse me, sir. Do you need help with anything?” The young man gives a clumsy smile and nods his head.
“You don’t by chance know a ughh, Y/n Y/l/n around here, do you?”
"Umm, that, ironically, would be me.” Your face scrunches up in confusion, while Esme’s does the same. The man gently hands you the flowers, saying someone sent them to you.
“You just have to sign here, please, to let the company know you’ve received your flowers in perfect condition.” He exaggerates as you fake solute, asking the blonde next to you to hold the flowers. You sign the paper and say a quick goodbye before moving up a few steps to your front door to unlock it.
“Who in the world sent flowers to you?” She teases, taking her shoes off and handing you the flowers. You place your nose right over the flowers to smell them.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” All you do is shrug your shoulders before moving around to look for a vase. You set the flowers in the center of the table and go to join Esme on the sofa. She grabs the remote and puts on Modern Family. You look over and notice a sour expression on her face. Reaching over, you poke her cheek to make her look over at you. “What’s up, Ez?”
“I bet I know who sent the flowers.” She grumbles with her arms crossed, still looking at the television. After thinking about it briefly, you finally understand who she’s referring to. She wouldn’t have that familiar scowl for just anybody.
“Hey, even if it was her, there’s no need to worry about anything. She sleeps around, and that’s something I don’t like, remember?” She turns her head towards you and has a semi-sad expression.
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I see the way you blush around her.” Her voice is soft, along with her facial features. You reach over and grab her hand to squeeze it.
“I know you don’t, and I love that about you. Yes, I find Leah attractive, but she doesn’t want anything serious, and I’m not putting myself in that situation.” Esme nods in understanding, and you both turn your attention back to the show in comfortable silence.
“Did you see the gift I sent you?”
You’re on the pitch stretching before training starts when Leah comes over to you. You sigh and stand up to turn towards her. "Yes, I did; they were beautiful, but I’m still trying to figure out why I got them.”
“Because a beautiful girl deserves beautiful things.” She smiles without breaking eye contact. You playfully roll your eyes at her and bend down to touch your toes.
“I bet you say that to all the girls.”
It’s silent for a minute before the taller girl blurts, “Go on a date with me tonight.”
You quickly straighten your posture and give her all your attention. Your eyebrows furrowed at the demand. “Pardon?”
“Let me take you out tonight. I know just the place.” She notices your hesitation, so she places a hand on your waist. “C’mon, dinner and maybe some sex?”
You scoff at her forward statement and start to walk away. “No.”
“Fine, just sex.” She follows after you. No one is near you two, so no one can hear what’s happening. You stop and turn around.
“How about just dinner?”
“Ehhhh.”
“Then no.”
You move to continue to walk away before her hand reaches out to grip your wrist. “Okay, okay. Just dinner.”
It turns out you and Leah only live about two blocks from one another, so when it’s time to pick you up, she decides to walk over. The place she has made reservations for is right across the street from your place. Leah let you know beforehand that the place you’ll be eating at isn’t too fancy, so just dress casually.
You’re finishing up the last minor touches on your makeup when you hear a knock at your door. Quickly, you grab your purse, phone, and keys and rush to open the door. Leah looks over, smiling, and offers you her hand to take once you lock the door. She’s wearing a white dress shirt along with tan baggy jeans, while you wear black leggings with a light blue tank top.
The date overall goes great. When you get seated, Leah being the gentlewoman she is, pulls out your seat for you and pushes you in. You both get to know each other better and laugh at the random stories you tell each other.
Your arm is hooked on Leah’s as you both laugh and walk towards your home. You stop right before you reach your stairs and look at her with a smile. “I had a lot of fun tonight, thank you.” The keys dangle in your hand, and then Leah reaches and steals them for you.
“Let me help you with your flowers.” She smiles smugly, keeping the keys behind her shoulder.
“No, we just met tonight.”
“We have known each other for years. We play for the same teams.” Your faces are close together as you giggle.
“We might play together, but that doesn’t mean we know each other. Tonight was our first step in actually getting to know one another.”
“C’mon.” She leans even closer, trying to tempt you. Your eyes wander at her face before you pull back slightly.
“You can’t come up.” You say with all the willpower you have left. She sure knows how to get a girl to swoon. “You have to woo me first.”
You dramatically flip your hair, making the taller girl laugh at your antics. Her laughter dies down, and she places her hand on the small of your back to pull you closer. “I can definitely woo you if you let me up.”
You laugh again and press your hands to her chest. “I don’t want this to be a one-night thing.” You whisper while looking her in the eyes. Pecking her cheek, you take quick action to grab your keys and run up the stairs. Once you unlock your door, you turn your attention to the starstruck girl. “Goodnight, Leah.”
Surprisingly, Leah asks you on a second date the day after. Esme doesn’t like the sound of it, but she can’t control what you do, so she just accepts it.
Once again, Leah picks you up from your house, and you both walk to the unknown destination of your date. She said it’s about a 20-minute walk before getting you. On arrival, you see a bright neon sign saying arcade.
“You didn’t.” You excitedly say and smile at the blonde.
“Are you ready to get your butt beat?”
Through the date, you both challenge each other in multiple games like air hockey, racing games, etc. So when it comes down to your tiebreaker, Leah challenges you in one last game of basketball. You both put the tokens in and press the button to play against each other and once the buzzer tells you to go, you both start making shots left and right. Leah looks over and grabs one of your basketballs to palm it and hold it in the air.
“Hey! That’s cheating!” You look at the score and see she has a few more points than you. The taller girl smirks as you try to reach for the ball that's in her hand. With her other free hand, she pushes against your back to pull you closer to her, and she leans down, pressing her lips against yours. You’re shocked at the quick action, but you stop trying for the ball that’s above your head and wrap your arms around her neck.
You pull away when the whistle signals the game is done. Both of your guy’s eyes remain on the other’s lips, still a little hazed from the kiss.
“I win.” She whispers, making you wonder if she's talking about the game or you.
The next date is a simple stroll downtown, visiting all the little stores. Your hands stay interlocked while walking up and down the streets.
In one of the buildings you go into, you see a photo booth and beg Leah to go with you. After a few seconds of you pleading, she finally says yes and lets you drag her to the curtain-covered box. The first photo you take is just one of you guys smiling at the camera. The second one is both of you sticking your tongues out and crossing your eyes. The third is a little blurry because of the two of you laughing and moving to hunch over. Then the fourth and final photo contains both of you gazing at each other with loving looks in your eyes. Soon after the last photo is taken, you both lean in for a feverish kiss.
You grab the photo strip from the outside of the booth and smile at the photos. You start to complain that there’s only one strip, but she insists you take it, knowing you want it the most.
After an hour or two more of exploring the town, she walks you up your stairs to your front door. Your hands softly grab the back of her neck and pull her in for a sweet kiss. When you pull away, she chases after your lips with a whine, causing you to giggle. You place one final peck on her lips and whisper, “Goodnight, Leah.”
Looking in the mirror, you put on your earrings and step back to look at your dress. It’s a scarlet red dress that hugs your body just right. The back of it cuts low to the lower part of your back, and the front shows the perfect amount of cleavage. The necklace that hangs from your neck fits perfectly with it. Smoothing out the fabric, you hear the familiar rhythm of the knock on your door.
Leah stands there in all her glory in a gray, sleeveless pantsuit. The outfit shows off her toned arms and collarbones perfectly. You let out a breath you don’t know you’re holding, and take her awaiting hand. She presses a kiss to your fingertips and says, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.”
You blush at the name and also compliment her back. She walks you towards an unfamiliar car and opens the passenger door for you.
“I figured we should drive this time. I’m sure it won’t be comfortable walking in those shoes.” She points at your short heels. It makes you realize that for all of your dates, you always walked to your destination. You smile at her consideration for your comfort and get in the car. While she drives, she places her hand on your knee and rubs her thumb up and down.
When she pulls up to the fancy restaurant, she rushes to your side of the car and opens the door for you, holding her other hand out for you to grab to help you get out. Walking in, you hear soft orchestral music playing through the building, along with people’s conversations merging and the echoing of silverware clinking together. It wasn’t loud; it was quite relaxing. Leah and you approach the podium with a girl standing behind it with a smile on her face. Leah’s hand stays at the small of your back to guide you and also just to feel you.
“Hello, what can I help you with tonight?” The host asks in a sweet tone.
“Hi, I made a reservation.”
“Sure! Under what name would that be?” The girl taps on the touch screen in front of her to check for the name.
“Leah Williamson.” The blonde nods softly at the host.
“Great! Now if you’d like to follow me, I’ll show you to your seats.” Leah smiles and keeps her hand on your back as you follow the girl. She pulls out your chair for you, just like she did on your first date. “The waiter will be here to take your orders shortly.” The host smiles at the two of you and makes her way back to the front.
You both ordered your desired dishes along with some dessert to share. You’re both laughing when a random girl comes over and places her hand on Leah’s shoulder, making you frown at the action. The blonde turns over and sees a semi-familiar face.
“Hey Leah, I haven’t seen you since that crazy night at the club.” The random girl continues to rub one of her hands up and down Leah’s shoulder as if you weren’t there. Leah just politely smiles and greets her. The girl tries to continue a conversation when you pick up two of your empty dishes and hand them to her.
“Thank you so much; the food was amazing.” Leah turns her head at you with a smile as the random girl gives you a strange look, but walks away with the dishes anyway. You grab your glass of wine and slowly sip it while staring at the walking figure, but you’re interrupted by the laughter coming from across the table.
“What was that?” She chuckles, and you give her a knowing look. She shakes her head with a soft smile displayed on her lips.
Once Leah pulls up to the sidewalk of your home, she walks you up to your door and pulls you in for a kiss. It’s not very long, but she backs away and places a kiss on your knuckles. The blonde moves down one stair and turns to walk away, but gets stopped by your hand continuing to grip hers. Her eyes meet yours as you nod your head towards the house.
“Why don’t you come in for a drink? Their wine wasn’t all that good.” Leah nods her head and smiles while you drag her inside.
You both were already tipsy from the restaurant, so adding more alcohol to your systems is like adding fuel to a fire. Hands are roaming each other’s bodies whenever you can, and you both feel just as fuzzy-headed. Music plays on your surround system around the house while both of you find comfortable positions across from each other on the couch, and Leah leans over and brushes a string of hair behind your ear.
“You look absolutely stunnin’ right now. Cheeks all rosy, hair a little messy. So beautiful.” She whispers toward the end because she’s too busy leaning in. Her lips lightly brush against yours, allowing you to pull away if needed. You maneuver yourself forward, pressing your lips together with more force, which makes the blonde smile slightly. Hands fall to your waist and start to pull you in even closer.
“You’re really good at that.” You breathlessly whisper, keeping your hands on her shoulders as she keeps hers on your hips. Your eyes flutter close when the defender moves her nose to touch yours, teasing her lips at the side of your mouth.
“I know I am.” That cocky personality comes back stronger than ever, so before you can scold her, she slams her lips back on yours and glides her tongue into your mouth, causing you to gasp, which allows her to push her tongue even further. She bites down on your bottom lip and pulls it, tugging it toward her before letting it go with a pop. You kiss down her jawline, eventually even further to her neck. Her hands find a place on your ass and guide you to start rocking your hips a little, encouraging you to keep sucking at her sweet spot.
She abruptly stands up with her hands remaining in their initial place, holding you up with her with your legs wrapped around her waist. “Where’s your bedroom?” She asks, breath ghosting of your face.
“Down the hall, last door on the right.”
You attach your lips back to hers as she blindly makes her way to your bedroom, trying not to crash into anything. Once she steps foot into the room, her foot kicks your door closed, and she pins you against it. The music can still be heard from the speakers, making the mood even hotter. The taste of wine can still be found in both of your mouths as you make out against the wooden door.
“How are you so good-looking all the time?” Leah mutters, moving over to your bed and placing you on the soft sheets.
“How are you so good-looking all the time?” You counter back, sitting up so you're face-to-face with the other girl. Her finger slips under one of the straps of your dress, slowly pulling it down while peppering kisses down your shoulder. She repeats the action on the opposite side and drags your dress down your body, still trailing kisses along with it. Once it’s off, she throws it somewhere on the floor and takes quick action to unclip your strapless bra. “It’s unfair that you’re still dressed and I’m not.”
“Well, you’re the one who’s about to get fucked into this mattress.” She rasps, plunging her lips to your neck to start sucking and biting at the flesh. Your hips buck into hers when she finds the perfect spot and nibbles on it. Her hands make work of your breasts, making you jump at the cold feeling of her rings on your warmed-up skin.
Finally, her fingers make it to the waistband of your pants, and she pulls them down as her lips kiss right above the fabric as it’s getting dragged away. Your breath hitches in anticipation as she flings the fabric to meet your dress on the floor.
“Let me take this off, at least.” Your fingers fiddle with the buttons on her top and begin to undo them. Her eyes gaze at yours as you look up at her.
“You look so good under me, baby.” Her voice lowers almost to the point where you can’t hear her. She shrugs off her top and steps out of her pants, so she is only in her underwear. The palms of her hands meet the inner of your thighs, spreading them so she can get a better look. “You’re soaking wet. Did I do this to you?”
You nod your head with a whine, wanting the blonde to do something to relieve your needs.
“Words, doll.”
“Yes, yes, you did this to me, and I need you to do something about it. Please.”
She chuckles at your desperation and kisses your stomach, then your thighs, and finally the place you need her the most. Her tongue draws a line up your slit before sucking on your clit. Your hips buck subconsciously, but Leah puts an end to it when her hands reach your waist and force you down onto the bed. You bite your lip so you don’t make a sound. This makes the blonde stop and raise her head.
“Don’t bite your lip. I want to hear exactly how I make you feel.” She states seductively, returning to her position, lapping up your arousal, and sucking on your bud. The sound of your moans bouncing off the walls, along with music from the living room, sparks the girl up more. Your hand digs into her hair, and your hips start to rock against her face when she moves faster, allowing the buildup in the pit of your stomach to get bigger. Your moans become more frequent and a little louder, showing Leah that you’re close. She pulls away for a split second to whisper, “Cum for me, doll.”
Your back arches further and further off the bed the closer you get; eventually, the coil snaps, making your body shutter and muscles tense, allowing your body to return to its first resting position. Leah’s tongue slowly continues to place soft licks, helping you get all the way through your orgasm. Your hand makes its way to her cheek and urges her to move up by you. Her chin glistens in your arousal, and she drags her thumb over it to wipe it off, then places her thumb in her mouth.
“You taste so sweet.” Your arms wrap around her neck to pull her down and kiss her. As her tongue makes its way into your mouth, you can taste the mixture of alcohol and you.
Right away, her fingertips drag down your stomach and then down to your heat. Testing the waters, she rubs her fingers over your clit which causes your legs to twitch since you’re still a little sensitive.
“Are you going to continue being my good girl?”
“Yes.”
Her smirk widens at your obedience, and as a reward, her fingers dip into your dripping hole, making you gasp at the sensation. Without warning, she plunges two digits into you, chuckling at your whimpers and moans. Her lips make their way back to yours, swallowing all of your little noises.
After a minute or two, her fingers brush against your g-spot and her lips start sucking on your pulse point, leaving a hickey. Your moans grow louder at the repeating strokes that hit your spot perfectly. Compared to your orgasm, this one feels way more intense.
“I can feel you tighten around my fingers, darling. You’re already gonna cum again?”
This time you can’t respond; you’re too breathless, and the whines spilling out of your mouth constantly don’t give you any time to answer her. Your vision becomes spotty, and you feel wetness covering the insides of your thighs. Your orgasm crashes over you but lasts longer than anyone you’ve ever had.
Without your knowledge, Leah pulls away and looks at you with her jaw hanging open. When you finally come down from your high, you meet her gaze with a questioning look. A smug smile takes over her features, which makes you even more confused.
“You soaked the sheets and my arm, doll.”
Your eyes trail down, and you see a big wet patch on the mattress and the blonde's arm soaked. Feeling embarrassed, you cover your face with your hands and fall back against the pillows with a groan. Leah wipes her arm against the sheet you will definitely be washing later.
Leah lays beside you and grabs your wrists to move them from your face. She leans over and pecks your forehead, your chin, both of your cheeks, your nose, and then finally, your lips. Her eyes light up when she sees you smile at her gesture. You’re both lying together for a few minutes before Leah stands up and grabs her shirt.
“What are you doing?” You sit up with your arms holding you.
“Uhh, I’ve got a couple of errands to run in the morning, so I’ve gotta get home.” Her fingers work at one of the buttons of her shirt, and she keeps her head down.
You sigh before saying, “I know you have a reputation for sleeping around, and I know it’s a mess, but you don’t need to hide. You can let me in. So you can either get into bed at the count of three or you can walk out that door and never talk to me again.”
Her fingers stop buttoning up her shirt, and she finally looks at you.
“Three.”
Still in the same spot.
“Two.”
Only moves one step forward.
“One.” You pull your comforter down, patting the spot she was previously in. She quickly takes her top off and lays down next to you. You turn to your side so Leah can wrap her arms around you. Her nose nuzzles into your neck, and she hears you mumble, “I knew you had a soft side.”
The taller girl realizes she enjoys having a body next to her, especially one she’s grown to really like, but then it hits her. She’s never done this. This isn’t who she is. Multiple thoughts race through her head while you sleep soundly right next to her. She slowly removes her arms, making sure you don’t stir, which, luckily for her, you don’t. Quickly, she stands up, gets dressed, and rushes out the door.
The sun peeks through the curtains, waking you up. You smile and turn around, only to be met with empty sheets. Sitting up, you look on the ground and see all of Leah’s clothes missing.
The feeling of embarrassment floods your veins as you pull your blanket up to cover your chest. You feel stupid that you actually believed Leah would fall for you. You feel used, as if she just took you on those dates just to have sex with you. And you feel ashamed. Ashamed, you didn’t listen to any of the warnings thrown your way by your best friends.
Tears begin to trail down your cheeks before you even realize it. I guess you’re just not lovable for the Leah Williamson.
1K notes · View notes
sungbeam · 1 year ago
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nonidol!kim sunwoo x f!reader
you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's.
▷ genre, warnings. s2f2l, mutual pining/crushing, college au, fluff, minor angst, humor, comfort, swearing, i actually know very little about anything going on w their majors tbh LOL 💀, uhh sunwoo's a simp but wbk, the outline of sunwoo's abs but if u read too fast u will miss it, kissing, low-key miscommunication trope (im sorry i hate those too), rip sorry yangyang, uhm they're kinda cute i *guess* :/, if there r typos then whoops i don't like editing !!
▷ word count. 28.7k help TT
this is the fifth installment of the love in unity series! this fic can be read as a standalone, but there will be references to the main plotline and all other yns will be referred to as _!yn. ALSO, the second episode specifically has a direct reference to a scene from flight risk, but the rest of the fic won't need any other outside context!
a/n: for @justalildumpling and her chopsticks <3 i dragged myself out of writer's block, pls reblog :'))
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EPISODE ONE (PILOT): RHAPSODY… LIKE THE BOHEMIAN ONE?
THERE was something about general education requirement courses that felt too much like a university scam. Why was it required to learn more about things that wouldn’t help one’s chosen career path in the long run? Sunwoo hadn't necessarily been thrilled when he wasn't able to get one of the lower level English classes to fill his requirement, but the 300-level literature class had so far turned out to be… actually interesting. Well, the literature itself was interesting enough. The professor?... Not so much.
There was one thing about this class that he could safely say kept him sane though. And it was more so a person than a thing.
The discussion classroom wasn't terribly full as he strolled through the door with his hoodie thrown over his dark brown curls and headphones, a pretty voice flowing through the ear pieces as he took his usual seat to the side of the room.
"...and we're back! Hope you all enjoyed this week's song recommendation. It's been a favorite of mine ever since my dad introduced it to me when I was a kid. An absolute road trip banger—"
Sunwoo's eyes flickered up to see that the TA for the discussion wasn't yet here, but he lowered the volume on his headset slightly in case.
"—kudos to all the songwriters out there. Writing relevant stuff that transcends time is hard, man. I can't even make meaningful conversation with my graduate student supervisor."
A small smile curled the corners of his lips upward. Just as he anticipated the segment on the host geeking out about her favorite oldies music picks, he heard instead—
"I can't even make meaningful conversation with my other grad student supervisors, you know?"
Wait a minute. Confusion flickered across Sunwoo's face as he checked and lifted one of his headphone ears. That can't be right…
Somebody sat down in the seat beside him, almost startling him because he had his back to the door. It was you, the pretty second-year who he had met on the first day of this discussion a few weeks ago. But he was peering at you now in a whole new light as a smile lingered on your face from your conversation with the class’s TA.
When you felt his eyes on you, you flashed him a bright grin. “Hey, Sunwoo.”
He cleared his throat, fumbling to turn his headphones off and follow your lead in taking out the materials needed for today’s discussion. “Oh, hey, Yn.” It occurred to him just how creepy he was probably being just then…just watching you. But the thoughts in his brain were flying around like mosquitoes around his head—had he been hearing things?
“What’d you think of the reading?” You asked him pleasantly.
The reading from the past week had been the first third of a novel called The Stranger, a version translated from its original written in French. Sunwoo sucked in a breath, grimacing, “It’s not my favorite,” he drawled. “I have no idea what the point of his character is, to be honest.”
You pursed your lips and nodded your head. “Yeah, he’s a little… flat,” you chuckled.
“Is this supposed to tie into the theory that professor was talking about last week?” He asked then, in an effort to actively shift his brain’s focus away from your awfully familiar voice and sayings, and to the present.
“Something about how he doesn’t fit societal standards. I think it’s existentialism and nihilism. Well, at least I think it is.”
Huh. Interesting. Sunwoo gave a little bob of his head, and this was just when the TA turned everyone’s attention to a class discussion about the novel. He definitely hadn’t thought of those terms specifically when reading, but at the same time, he did understand where you were getting that sentiment from. He just couldn’t articulate his view of literature quite as well as you could. That had made you somewhat intimidating to him in the beginning, besides your very cute smile, but he was hoping he could learn something from you nonetheless.
You weren’t even a literature major, he realized as he listened to you offer your thoughts to the group. It was cool, though—you were cool.
— ✶
The Songbird Station was a podcast, radio-esque show that Sunwoo had discovered over summer break, a few weeks ago. The podcast was hosted by an anonymous host who dubbed herself “DJ Dove.” She definitely didn’t mind talking about a few of her personal life experiences; it was easy to simply bar the names and identities. Sunwoo had binged all two seasons so far of the podcast, happily tuning in as a silent listener and admirer of hers for awhile, and he had always wondered where she went to school or who she was, but it hadn’t invaded his thoughts like this before.
Sunwoo laid in his bed the day after the literature discussion, his hands resting on his stomach and his expression turned up toward the violet-red LED-lit ceiling of his room. His phone sat on the edge of his nightstand as it played a playlist of songs that Dove had recommended to her listeners—or well, he wondered if he could safely assume that what he heard yesterday was correct, and that you were DJ Dove.
It would make sense, he thought. You were a sound and music production major, had great taste in music (from the brief conversations you struck up with him while in class), and you literally said the exact same thing that Dove had said over the podcast. It couldn’t have just been a coincidence. And now that he thought about it, your voice really did sound a lot like DJ Dove’s. There was a sort of friendly warmth to both of your voices, and—and—
Knock, knock— “Aye, Sunwoo! I'm going to Juyeon's place now. Are you sure you don't wanna come with?"
Oh, right. He had nearly forgotten that Eric had planned to head over to their new mutual friend's apartment tonight to watch a sports game. Juyeon was a friend of a friend of a friend—the connections ran long in their friend circle, he supposed. Sunwoo stole a peak at his phone screen for the time and his joints ached at the sight of 8:53 on the face. His face screwed up as he replied to his friend and roommate, “Nah, I think I'm still just gonna chill here tonight.”
He grabbed his phone fully off the nightstand this time and turned onto his side.
“Oh, okay. Don't burn the apartment down and don't steal my ramen!”
Sunwoo squished his face down into his pillow, raising his voice slightly since his words would probably be muffled, "I'm not going to steal your ramen!" This guy.
He heard Eric grumble something under his breath from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of footsteps moving farther away from his room. When he heard the front door close, he let out a breath and turned back to his phone. To his surprise, he had managed to absentmindedly navigate away from the playlist screen and to the Songbird Station homepage, filled with a collection of all of your links. One of these links was for listeners to submit song recommendations or ask questions, and most of the time, they were all anonymous with their own little nicknames.
He had never fully considered doing it… but that didn’t mean he hadn’t ever partially thought about it. He definitely imagined becoming one of Dove’s more frequent anonymous submitters and becoming friends with her—on a level that one could consider oneself friends between two anonymous users, at least.
But up until now, he hadn’t thought that he could do it. Well, because Dove was Dove; he was one of hundreds of listeners.
“But she’s Yn,” he thought aloud to himself, turning back onto his back to speak to the ceiling, as if the layer of plaster above his head could possibly give him a viable answer. “There’s probably a reason she doesn’t use her actual name,” he pondered further, expression contorted into deep contemplation. “This feels wrong!” He groaned.
There was at least one person he could count on to deal with his bullshit.
sunwoo’s phone: yes or no
tree rat: no
“Well, screw you, too,” Sunwoo huffed as he swiped out of his and Changmin’s text chain. Out of all the times Changmin said “no” randomly, it had to be this time.
It didn’t matter much anyway though. Sunwoo went back to the links page and clicked on the anonymous submissions. He was met with a customized greeting page from the hostess herself, as she thanked her listeners and asked what they’d like to contribute to the show.
Sunwoo moved to sit up against his headboard as he racked his brain for something to say. He had tons to say, but the first message had to be perfect, right?
“It’s fine,” he said out loud, thumbs flying over the keyboard to type out the first thing that came to mind. After all, it was completely anonymous, so it wasn’t like she would—or you would—even know it was him.
He probably read over his little paragraph about a hundred times before attempting to figure out an anonymous name to sign off with. He hugged his knee to his chest when he couldn’t come up with something cool, charming, or unique. Maybe he would stay completely unknown for now. Maybe he wouldn’t even have the courage to submit another message after this one anyway!—
"Rhapsody," he said aloud. Rhapsody was a cool word. Rhapsody anon? Was that who he would sign as?
He did the most logical course of action: look up the word. He asked the internet for its most basic definition, then somehow ended up in the rabbit hole of etymology of the word rhapsody. It described one who stitched verses or songs together—something of the sort. It sounded cool, at least.
It would have to do… and even if you—or DJ Dove—thought it was stupid, no one would know it was him.
Before he could psych himself out of it, Sunwoo pushed the submit button and launched his phone away from him onto the bed like it was explosive. There was something thrilling about anonymous submissions, but incredibly anxiety-inducing, as well. He could only hope that you would be pleased to read it.
— ✶
It was Wednesday when the next episode of the podcast dropped, and Sunwoo was swift to don his headphones on his way out the door of the apartment. The walk to campus was a good fifteen or so minutes, which would get him about a quarter of the way through the episode, but usually the line in the campus cafe was long, so he had plenty of time to listen.
“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and today, I went to my Groupon singing lesson and realized that I think my teacher is having an affair with her neighbor…?”
Sunwoo let out a snortish laugh, covering his mouth with his hoodie sleeve in slight embarrassment as he passed by somebody else going in the opposite direction. Usually, there would be anonymous submissions sprinkled throughout the episode, most of them having to be diverted to later episodes because they were song recommendations. Sunwoo wasn’t super optimistic about his chances of being featured in this episode, but a guy could dream, couldn’t he?
The sky was a pleasant shade of crystalline blue, even as the seasons shifted from summer to fall. There was a slight breeze wafting through the air that brought in the telltale autumnal chill.
"...and luckily the rest was history. My voice was completely dead and my throat is still a little sore, haha, so we'll do a couple more anonymous submissions and recommendations today! This is supposedly a radio show-esque podcast, after all. This one's from a new friend—Rhapsody Anon!"
Sunwoo nearly tripped over the flat sidewalk and sent a nervous smile to the other person waiting at the stoplight with him. Did you just say what he thought you said?
There came a soft laugh from you. "Ooh, like Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen? Such a classic, by the way. Rhapsody says: Hi Dove! Hoping you're doing alright and that songwriting is going well. I'm a relatively new listener but a fan from first listen—awh, wait… that's kind of like love at first sight but for the voice version, isn't it?"
He reddened. The crosswalk turned green.
"Anyways, that's really sweet; thanks so much—there's a bit more of the message that I'll post on my story later so we can save time, but Rhapsody, thank you for tuning in and interacting with me. Your message sounded so heartfelt to me? I dunno," you chuckled and he swore he could hear the smile in your voice, "maybe I'm a little biased 'cause I love your song rec, too. Speaking of which, Rhapsody recommends Painkiller by Ruel! An immaculate choice, if I do say so myself…"
Sunwoo couldn't help but smile to himself at your warm reception of his anonymous submission. He wished he could have gotten your full reaction to his entire message, but he understood that you needed to account for all the other things you had planned.
Even so, an acknowledgement from you would have been enough. He hadn't thought it was possible, but he thought he just became even more attached to this DJ Dove persona.
EPISODE TWO: I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY.
three months later.
THE curtains in Sunwoo's room were yanked open, the sound of metal rings against the metal bar scratched at his eardrums and made him grimace. It definitely did not help the pounding in his cranium, and—wait, was he in jeans? There was a disgusting after taste in his mouth, something akin to alcohol, and when he lifted his hand to rub his eyes, he felt dried tear tracks on his skin.
Eric stood at the foot of his bed with a scowl and his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm mad at you."
Sunwoo smooshed his face into his pillow in a sorry attempt to hide his eyes from the blinding overcast sky outside. "What's new?" He babbled incoherently.
It seemed his friend and roommate was not pleased with his answer and moved to tower over Sunwoo right beside him. "You couldn't have waited ten minutes before barging in? I was so close to kissing her!"
"Huh? What the hell are you…" Sunwoo's voice trailed off as the events of last night were slowly coming back to him.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Ugh. He remembered making plans to go to some singles party with Changmin and Chanhee, and that Eric was bringing EC!Yn over to woo her or something… yeah, he got all that. So why did Sunwoo drink so much and why couldn't he…
The notification… the tweet…
Oh no.
The emotions from last night came rushing back to him like the tide to shore. Horror contorted his face as his brain raced to string pieces of last night together. He released a groan as he brought both hands up to his face. "Oh my god," he muttered into his palms.
The distinct feeling of devastation and disappointment sank into his gut. No wonder he had thrown all caution to the wind last night and gotten himself drunk off his face.
"How bad?" He asked.
Eric still had his arms crossed. "You cried on EC!Yn like a whale and asked why women were perfect and why you couldn't have this one girl." By the drone of Eric's voice, he hadn't been pleased or amused by last night's events. Whoops.
"I'm—"
"You are going to be forever alone, by the way."
Sunwoo dropped his hands from his face and leveled a scowl up at Eric. Now, that he remembered saying, too. Unfortunately. "Hey! I'm still tender from last night."
Eric's smile was sarcastic and he said nothing as he made his exit from Sunwoo's room and left the hungover man to fend for himself. Left to his own devices, Sunwoo pushed out a harsh exhale as he stared up at the ceiling.
He remembered receiving the notification from the Songbird Station Twitter account and excusing himself to go to the bathroom to hear your voice memo. And when he'd finally found an empty bathroom and played it back, he learned a devastating piece of information.
Guys, I went on a date… updates in the next episode. That was what you had said, essentially—you, Yn Ln, the girl Sunwoo had met in his literature course last quarter and whom he had figured out was the anonymous host of the podcast Songbird Station under the pseudonym DJ Dove.
And he had gotten drunk over the fact that you'd gone out on a date, and said date hadn't been him.
"Dude," he said out loud to himself.
He couldn't believe he had gotten so off his rocker by this news. It wasn't like he knew you or liked you or—well, maybe he had grown an affection for you over the span of time he listened to your podcast and interacted with you via his own pseudonym, Rhapsody Anonymous.
But he was just another fan to you, and you would never know his identity.
A guy could dream though, right?
A thought suddenly occurred to him as he rolled over to go through the copious amounts of notifications on his phone he had. There were lots of messages in his group chat with Chanhee and Changmin that he would deal with later, lots of social media notifications, emails, and…
Wednesday. Today was Wednesday.
Sunwoo cursed. You were definitely uploading the episode today then.
He bit his lip as he sorted through the notifications to find one about the podcast. Sure enough, there it was: I Went On A Date? was the title, and he pretended like that didn't make him want to play Lany's Valentine's Day on loop—
The bedroom door opened and Eric poked his head into the room. "I made hangover soup."
Sunwoo blinked in surprise. "Oh. Thanks, man."
"Yeah, don't mention it," Eric mumbled, shifting on his feet. "Seriously, don't mention it."
— ✶
For the next couple of days, Sunwoo left the notification at the top of his phone, pretending like it wasn’t there. It had worked for about five minutes, but the remainder of time he was stubborn, he allowed his imagination to get the better of him. Although he no longer needed to take a literature course, he found himself deeply considering the vague title you had provided. Well, what could you mean by that question mark at the end? Had it not gone well? There was no way it could have, since your tone didn’t really scream “OH MY GOD I WENT ON A DATE!!!” (not that Sunwoo had imagined what he would have acted like post-date with someone like you or anything…). He didn’t even know who you had gone on a date with, and that made his stomach churn.
The curiosity devoured him alive over the two days he managed to torture himself with his overthinking. No one knew he listened to the Songbird Station podcast, and he planned to keep it that way. It would be the absolute death of him if any of his friends found out.
By Saturday morning, Sunwoo had had enough of his own stubbornness and caved. He donned his headphones, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door to do some work in a cafe located on the Ave. There was one that his friend Jacob had recommended to the group awhile back, and Sunwoo hadn’t looked back since.
As he tuned into the episode, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, shivering against the cold, winter winds. February weather was a doozy, and a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate sounded so very sexy right this moment.
“Welcome to Songbird Station! I’m your host, DJ Dove, and you’re probably wondering what the title of this episode even means, or why I sent that weird, cryptic voice message the other night.”
The traffic light turned green, and Sunwoo began to cross the road, the coffee shop in sight. His hands were beginning to get clammy in his pockets.
“Don’t riot, but friends, it means exactly what it says—” As you exhaled out a breathy kind of laugh, Sunwoo inhaled sharply.
“Helpful,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed into the warmth of the coffee shop. He shook the cold out of his body before hopping into the line to order.
“ —I did actually land myself a date yesterday. Honestly, I’m not really much of a dater; I never really had time with it over the past years because I would, uh… well, I would rather stay in and do music, y’know?”
The corners of Sunwoo’s lips curled up into a smile. Maybe he had been nervous before about this episode’s topic of choice, but he should have had more faith in you. Rather than speak about the date the entire episode, you always managed to worm in a discussion about your passions, and that was the kind of talk that had first gotten Sunwoo hooked. There was something so attractive about hearing or witnessing a person gush about their passions and ambitions—the way their eyes lit up, their posture righted itself, how they smiled so big that one could hear it in their tone of voice.
He was happy that you went out on a date, because you deserved to meet someone who treated you as special as you were. You were a good person, and it wasn’t fair that he was being so salty about it, especially when he was too chicken to—
“Sunwoo?”
His soul practically fell out of his body. “Shit—” He swore, yanking his headphones down with eyes as wide as the earphones. He whirled around to greet you with a flushed face, red like the old Christmas decorations still hanging up from the crown moldings.
You were standing right behind him with a mildly amused look on your face, your lips pressed into a smile and eyes crinkled in absolute delight. You were similarly bundled up like he was to no doubt shield you from the cold on your way here. “Sorry I scared you! I probably should have, like, tapped your shoulder or something, huh?”
Sunwoo let out a nervous laugh and cupped the back of his neck, the skin there warm to the touch. “Oh, uh, no problem at all. I just kinda…”
“Get scared easy?” You offered.
He huffed with a sheepish sort of smile. “No, no that’s not it. I—I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.” Inwardly, he winced. The fact that he was listening to your voice in his ears, and you just happened to say his name at the same time and appear in the same exact coffee shop as him. Weren’t there fifteen of these places on the block? There was no way you just happened to choose this one at this moment.
You chuckled, playing along. “Ah, I see, I see. We haven’t seen each other since fall quarter though. How have you been?”
You and Sunwoo inched up with the line, so the two of you now stood side by side. Sunwoo was trying everything he could to calm the racing of his heart. Play it cool, dude. “I’ve been okay…ish,” he grimaced, re-thinking his answer. “You know winter quarter is always the worst.”
“For sure,” you replied. “It’s so cold and dreary—nobody wants to leave their apartments, especially me,” you joked.
Sunwoo was about to chime in on how he could totally relate to that, when you popped the question: “And then there’s Valentine’s Day. Crazy how it never seems to rain on Valentine’s Day, though, so people can go out. Did you do anything for it?”
Sirens commenced their screeching in his head. WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO! Don’t let her know how much of a loser you were! He coughed, reaching up to scratch his head. “Uh, nothing special in particular, if that’s what you mean. A couple of my friends and I just went to this singles party.” Would that give you the wrong idea? Probably not, right? Why was he so bad at this, he thought, wasn’t he supposed to be a communications major?
You inched up in line. “Oh, that’s cool. I think I went to one in freshman year at my old uni,” you said.
Before he could stop himself, he said, “I almost forgot you transferred this year.” He knew that one from the podcast when you talked about the struggles of being a transfer student and having to almost “redo” your entire first year experience, social-wise. But you had also told him that when you and he had worked together in your shared class last quarter; it was just that the two of you didn’t really talk much about your old university much after that.
“It’s okay,” you smiled, nudging his arm with yours as a gesture for him to order first. “Not many people remember.”
Sunwoo wanted to protest, maybe to reassure you that it wasn’t that easy to forget something like that, but he was forced to switch gears and order his hot beverage first before he could say anything else to you. After he said goodbye to five more dollars, he stepped aside and made his way over to the pick-up counter to wait for you and his drink.
When you were done, you sidled up beside him, hands tucked into the folds of your coat.
Come on, say something, his inner voice chided. “So, uh, how was your Valentine’s Day?”
He immediately regretted it. Out of everything he could have asked, he had to go with the one topic he really didn’t want to hear about. However, it had been one of the logical progressions of the conversation, and who knew? Perhaps it wouldn’t lead to him feeling like he’d been shot down with lightning? (Was he being a little dramatic? Yes. Did it matter? Not when no one was going to hear him, no.)
You let out a small laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “It was okay,” you replied.
It was… it was okay? What was he supposed to do with that answer—
“I mean,” you continued with a smile that looked more like a grimace, “it was—fine! It was fine. Uhm…”
Sunwoo’s thoughts came to a slow, teetering stop. Worry began seeping into the cracks of his brain as new scenarios formed. “Hey, if you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then we don’t have to talk about it.” All of the nerves and envy from before was becoming something softer in concern for your response.
“No! No, it’s okay. I promise,” you reassured him. The look you gave him was earnest, and he felt the fist tucked into his pocket gradually relax a bit. “It’s just weird putting it into words, y’know? I kind of chickened out of talking to my friends about it, and even to—” You stopped yourself short, and he could see you backpedaling in your brain. “Anyways, it just felt weird? I think it would have been a really nice night if I actually saw him in that light. But at the same time, I kind of want to try and give it a chance. Does that make sense?”
He nodded, tension falling out of his shoulders. “It does. I mean, sometimes there’s just no spark, y’know?” He added. “I was just worried he did something to make you uncomfortable or something.”
“Oh, no, nothing like that. You don’t have to worry.”
“Okay, that’s good,” he murmured, licking his lips. “I’m just curious—” he piped up, “—and you don’t have to tell me, but who did you go out with?”
One of the baristas from behind the counter called your names, and the two of you both stepped forward. Sunwoo took a long stride to get there before you, and handed you your cup for you.
You murmured a “thanks” to him first before stirring in a packet of sugar. “Liu Yangyang. Do you know him?”
Did he? Yangyang was one of the people Sunwoo recognized from not only around campus, but as a person who made music online, too. Even if Yangyang was in the same year as him, Sunwoo always admired the man’s flow and way with words. It made so much sense that Yangyang would pursue you, someone equally talented and charismatic, especially if the two of you were the same major.
A tightening sensation creeped into Sunwoo’s chest as he marinated on the revelation further. If you couldn’t see someone like Yangyang in a romantic light, then where did that put himself?
As Sunwoo let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him, you finished preparing your coffee.
“I’ve gotta run now,” you told him with a soft-cornered grin. “It was nice seeing you, Sunwoo.”
Sunwoo managed a smile back at you, head bobbing in some semblance of a nod, before you were exiting the shop. He stood there for a moment to gather his wits, his thoughts, and his dignity.
“Did that really just happen?” He muttered to himself. He took his coffee with him to find an empty table and retrieved his study materials from his bag. Technically, he didn’t even have to listen to the rest of the podcast, but… who was he kidding?
EPISODE THREE: HEART TO HEART
“YOU’RE coming with me to the practice rooms, right?” Ji Changmin trailed behind Sunwoo as the two of them shouldered into Sunwoo and Eric's shared apartment with their bags and leftovers from today's lunch. It had been about a week and a half since he had bumped into you at that café and he had been feeling over the interaction since.
Sunwoo popped open the refrigerator while his friend perched on one of the breakfast bar stools, his duffle bag dumped at his feet. "Uh, yeah. 'Course, hyung," he said, shifting some groceries from JC!Yn around to make space for his white plastic container.
A thought occurred to him, and he groaned. "But you're gonna have to go first—without me," he clarified. He grabbed the carton of orange juice out to pour himself a glass, facing his friend's curious look.
Changmin's brows furrowed. "Wait, why not?"
It was a reasonable question, as it went against Sunwoo's normal pattern of behavior. Usually, Sunwoo would tag along with Changmin to the practice rooms at the back of the performing arts building. Changmin was a dance major, and with the highly anticipated winter dance showcase just around the corner, it was important that he got that practice in. Plus, with Eric out of town for an away game, Sunwoo was left alone in the apartment, which wasn't exactly his favorite thing. He would much rather go out and be around other people… unless there was something else occupying him.
Today, that certain occupation came in the form of your first live podcast session, something you were trying out. It was just going to be a live audio stream, so you could stay anonymous with your pseudonym, and answer people's submissions live. You had been advertising it for the past week, having excluded the weekly podcast in order to prepare for today.
Sunwoo was excited as you were and wanted to support you and be one of the people tuning in live. This was important to him, and he had even gone so far as to plan out his day.
"I just have something I need to turn in before the day ends," he said easily, shoulders lifting in a half-hearted shrug. He lifted the glass of orange juice to his mouth for a languid gulp.
Changmin made a teasing noise of disappointment. "Aye, you know if Chanhee were here he'd be on your ass, right?" He chuckled, the dimple of his smile pressing into his cheek.
Sunwoo pouted when he lowered the glass. "If Chanhee or JC!Yn were here, I wouldn't have admitted to procrastination. I have self-preservation skills."
"And you don't think I'd be on your ass?" Changmin gasped dramatically with a hand pressed to his chest.
With tongue in cheek, Sunwoo grinned amusedly. He shook his head, adjusting the hood pulled over him. "Hyung, you can't ding me for procrastination when you procrastinate religiously. Remember that one time you had to beg Professor Ka—"
"Yah! Nobody asked for specifics!"
Sunwoo's chuckle turned into nervous laughter as Changmin reached across the island with a claw-shaped hand. "Ah! No! You stay away—go practice!"
Changmin snickered. "Chicken."
Soon after, Changmin indeed took his leave to head over to the performing arts hall. Sunwoo drained the juice in his cup and refilled it before making a beeline for his bedroom.
The livestream was projected to last for an hour, about the length of a usual episode, but you did say the timing wasn't set in stone. Sunwoo set himself up at his desk, signing into the platform you always used. Over the past couple of months he was Rhapsody, he'd become one of your regulars, suggesting new and old songs from his music library, talking about his day or week or something the last podcast had reminded him of. He liked to think that the two of you were friends—parasocially.
A guy could dream, right?
He was on his phone when the waiting room faded and became a split screen: one half with a sketched sign that read "ON AIR: COMING TO YOU LIVE!" with a little dove in headphones, and the other half was a live chat feed that people who were tuned in could use. There was both a public and private feature, and Sunwoo kept his on the public chat, unafraid of what a bunch of other people behind anonymous names and screens could do to scare him.
"Oh! Woah, I think that worked," came your voice, loud and clear, through his laptop speakers.
He smiled to himself, reaching over to settle his fingers on his keyboard. A tingling feeling bubbled up inside him, starting from his toes and rocketing up through his chest. He could actually talk to you in real time today.
You clapped lightly on the other side, relief pouring through your voice. "Thank god. I'm supposed to be good with some computer programs, but this livestream feature is kind of new. How're we doing, everyone? It seems…" A couple clicks from your end, "... We've got some more people rolling in. I'll give it a couple minutes, but let me know who we've got here today! It's so cool seeing you guys live!"
Sunwoo was swift to type out a greeting message: Dovey hi!! He paired it with a little, hand-waving emoji.
The small gasp of delight from you had him giggling to himself. "Oh my god, Rhapsody! Hi, best friend, welcome in! We might actually be able to hold a conversation for once," you chuckled.
rhapsody anonymous: yeah fs haha
rhapsody anonymous: did u have a good week? it felt weird without an ep from u 🤧
"Oh! Yeah, haha, sorry about that—”
He rushed to type as you continued with answering his question: No no! Don’t worry, I don’t blame you or anything lol it’s just something I look forward to every week.
“...Ah,” you said after skimming over his message. “Understood—and aw, I’m glad it’s something you look forward to every week. That makes me really happy to hear… oh! It looks like the numbers are becoming a little stagnant, so I’m gonna get started. Hi, everyone! Welcome to the live edition of Songbird Station. I’m your host…”
— ✶
An hour later, Sunwoo ended up seated at the kitchen counter, drinking orange juice straight out of the nearly-depleted carton, while the livestream continued on. The whole experience had been one of a kind, and by the way you were able to seamlessly speak and engage with your audience for the entire time made Sunwoo feel warm and fuzzy. He was glad this was working out for you.
There was a gradual lull in conversation, however, and you were just wrapping up your last topic to bring your first livestream to an organic stop.
“...wanna thank you all for being here, of course. 57 people listening to my voice for over an hour is kind of crazy, but this was a lot of fun!...”
Sunwoo was just about to start typing up a message to you when his phone buzzed on the counter beside his laptop. He startled, fumbling with the device and grumbling under his breath until he saw who it was and picked up the call.
“Hyung?” He squeezed the phone between his ear and shoulder, attempting to finish his private message to you. I was wondering if I could…|
Changmin’s voice came out breathy and panting like he had just finished a run-through. “Hey, are you done with your assignment yet?”
I was wondering if I could hang back for…| “Huh?” Why couldn’t he multitask, for god’s sake? I was wondering if I could hang back for a minute? If it’s weird though, then it’s no problem…|
No, that wasn’t weird, right? Totally not. He pressed the 'enter' key, satisfied with the message.
“What were you saying?” Sunwoo asked and picked up the phone with his hand. His eyes flickered back to his laptop screen to find that you had sent him a private message back.
Changmin let out a grumbling sigh. “I was just thinking—”
“Uh oh,” Sunwoo joked.
He could hear his friend’s eye roll from here. “When you get here Kim Sunwoo…”
“Okay, okay, okay!” He chuckled as he read your message and silently punched the air in celebration. “What do you want? I was in the middle of something.”
“Rude! And I was calling you because I was thinking about you,” Changmin huffed. “Anyway, I was just going over some of the movement for Juyeon and my ‘Light a Flame’ duet, right? And I came up with this combo that would be perfect for three people—”
Sunwoo sucked in a breath. “Oh, nonono!”
“But!”
“No!” Sunwoo protested. “Hyung, you know that I don’t… y’know, I can’t dance up there with you and Juyeon hyung! That’s way too much pressure; you’re both so good at dance.” He pressed his finger against the edge of the counter and began mindlessly dragging it along the surface. There had originally been plans of Sunwoo joining Changmin and Juyeon’s dance partnership for this year’s winter showcase performance, but Sunwoo backed out. The winter showcase was far too large of an event for Sunwoo could even fathom participating in, let alone dancing with two of the best dancers he knew. There was just no way.
Changmin sighed from the other end. He’d heard this argument before and he’d argued against this argument plenty of times. “Okay, fine. See you in how long?”
Sunwoo placed his phone onto the counter again so he could tell you that he was still here and hadn’t just left you hanging. “Uh, give me like, thirty minutes.”
“Alright. I better see your ass here in thirty minutes, Sunwoo.”
“Yeah, I know. See ya, hyung.” He hung up then, shoulders sagging slightly from the conversation. It wasn’t like he had to participate in the winter showcase—he was no dance major, nor was he a dance minor. He technically hadn’t even decided on a minor, and had only been focusing on getting this degree finished. Whether or not he had chosen a minor yet was not his parents’ favorite discussion when they visited him, but… it would get done when he had the energy to. He didn’t want to bring up the idea of a dance minor—he saw what it did to Changmin and his parents’ relationship and—well, it was just better this way, for now.
Having finished with his phone call, Sunwoo returned his focus to you, where, god bless, you were still waiting for him in the livestream room.
rhapsody anonymous: omg i’m SO sorry!! >< a friend of mine just called and turns out i am awful at multitasking
“No worries,” you laughed. “I figured that was the case. Everything okay, Rhaps?”
The corners of his mouth curled up at the thoughtful ask. Even when the two of you had been classmates, you were new to the school, but still made him feel like the two of you had known each other for longer than simply a few weeks. It only made sense that you were the host of this podcast, the very thing that had been his source of comfort as of late.
rhapsody anon: yeah nothing really serious lol
rhapsody anon: i just have this friend who’s doing the winter showcase and i was supposed to go to the practice room with him
rhapsody anon: actually, i was going to dance and perform w him too but ig i kind of chickened out
He didn’t know why he was telling you all of this; this wasn’t even what he originally intended to talk to you about.
He heard you make a soft sound of understanding. You shifted in your seat. “I see… the winter showcase is a big event though, as I’ve heard from peers and friends. It's probably really intimidating to even perform in the pre-show, you know? Are you a dance student, by chance?”
rhapsody anon: i’m not, but i’ve taken the intro to hiphop course my freshman year and i usually dance for fun w my friend
rhapsody anon: i think i’ve just always been kind of insecure in my abilities to keep up w him?
“Is he a dance major?”
rhapsody anon: he is
Sunwoo leaned back from the laptop and took his hands off the keyboard. He settled his chin onto his folded arms as he listened to your reply.
“Well, I don’t think you should compare yourself to a dance major, right, Rhaps? I mean, it’s not fair to expect more from yourself when he’s clearly had more experience. And if you enjoy dancing, then I don’t see what the harm in trying to perform or even just being satisfied with private practice sessions is!” You paused for a second to gather your thoughts. “What I’m saying is… is that, I can understand where you might feel insecure, and that’s normal, y’know? And if you’re feeling a little unprepared for this year, there’s always future opportunities.”
Sunwoo peered up at his screen as if he could see you on the other side, speaking to him. He sat up to type out a response. Thanks for hearing me out, it’s nice to feel validated. Sorry this kind of took a downer tone haha it wasn’t my intention, I swear!
You giggled and he swore he was smiling a little too wide now. “No worries, really! I’m glad I could be of help, even if it’s to make sure that you know your feelings are valid. If I’m being honest, one of the few reasons why I even started this podcast thing was to kind of just put my experiences out there in search of validity.” You sighed, “I dunno. It’s a story for another time. I am curious, though, as to why you originally wanted to hang out with me after the others left.”
Oh, right. Sunwoo bit his lip.
rhapsody anonymous: this isn’t really a song rec, but ig it kind of is… i feel like superstar by taylor swift reminds me of u
He held his breath after he pressed the ‘enter’ key.
“Oh…” your voice was soft in surprise, and it made something like giddiness spike in his chest. “That’s really sweet, Rhaps. I… I’m not sure what to say, but thank you. Genuinely.”
rhapsody anonymous: u don’t have to say anything!! really haha ur work and ur words have touched a lot of people
“Even you?”
rhapsody anonymous: esp me
And even after you and he had said goodbye to one another and logged off; even after he was well out of the apartment and on his way to campus, that giddy feeling in his chest still hadn’t left him.
EPISODE FOUR: SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! [AND WE’RE ALL IN PAIN]
DEAD week was not typically something Sunwoo had to worry about, as fortunate as that sounded. There were, obviously, classes that made his stomach queasy and made him feel like the world was crumbling into Hot Cheeto dust, but his classes this quarter had been merciful to say the least. The week before finals week was always something that could be visibly observed on campus: students either manifesting like zombies or zooming around to claim seats in the library; grades rising and falling like the housing market; and snacks and coffee being more commonly consumed than any other moment of the quarter.
It was always a hot pile of shit, no matter the student or major.
“Someone just needs to tell Ouyang to chill!”
“Uh-huh.”
“For sure.”
“—it’s not like we’re the root of all of his problems! I’m just trying to graduate!” Eric halted in the middle of the hallway, causing Sunwoo, whose face was nose-deep in his phone screen, to ram into the baseball player’s back.
“Ow!” He hissed, furiously rubbing the place at his forehead that had collided with the nape of Eric’s neck.
“You’re not paying attention,” said Eric, flatly. He turned to Jacob, who also wasn’t paying attention. “Hyung!”
Jacob’s head lifted from where he was busy smiling down at some orange cat video. “What? Nacho’s learning the periodic table—” He flipped his phone around to show Eric, his face immediately lighting up as he forgot about why he was even mad in the first place.
The three of them were currently in the front half of the performing arts building, heading inwards from the main hall to the backstage area where a couple of their friends were already hanging out. Sunwoo had bumped into Jacob and Eric on his way from one of the campus libraries, and with nothing else better to do (than to study), he tagged along to go find someone to bother. (Jacob and Eric were both STEM majors though, which was weird to Sunwoo since… well, shouldn’t they be bunkered up somewhere trying to survive this quarter’s dead week? Anyways…)
Sunwoo sighed and brushed past his two friends to venture deeper into the building. He could already hear somebody’s music blasting from the sound booth as they rehearsed onstage. Over the past several weeks, everyone had been busy preparing for the winter showcase happening at the end of finals week, right before spring break. Ever since Sunwoo’s talk with you over livestream, he had felt a little better about not joining Changmin and Juyeon on stage this year. Plus, from what he could tell when he watched them practice, they already looked pretty much perfect with just the two of them.
Though, there would always be a part of him that wished he really had the courage to go up there and show the audience what he was made of.
Sunwoo wandered into the main auditorium with his hands tucked into his pockets and the doors closing softly behind him. There was indeed a group practicing their number on the stage at the moment. He could even make out the shapes moving from behind the curtains in the wings as other tech members and dancers rushed to and fro to get to where they needed to. Somewhere in that mass of chaos were his friends.
A familiar voice had him lifting his head toward the sound booth. His eyes widened when he recognized you standing in the booth with Bang Chan, one of the more prominent sound and lighting directors working here at the performing arts center. However, it looked like you were leaving, your hands clumsily wrestling with the zipper on your bag while you continued your conversation with Chan, and while attempting to walk backwards out of the sound booth.
Oh my god, you were going to trip on something if he didn’t help—
Both Sunwoo and Chan pounced toward you as the thought occurred to both of them at the same time.
“Yn, careful!” Sunwoo yelled, as he dove for your phone.
Chan steadied you at the bicep, and you hugged your bag to your chest with a flustered grin. “Oops?”
Chan ruffled your hair as he let you go, nodding his hello to Sunwoo, then ducking back into the booth. You stepped out into the main room and shut the door behind you. “Thanks,” you said to him sheepishly, accepting your phone from him.
The two of you naturally fell into step with one another and Sunwoo let you lead him back out towards the main entrance again. “I didn’t know you worked behind the scenes here,” he told you, cupping the back of his head. If he racked his brain, he couldn’t recall hearing about it from your podcast either. “This is the second time I’ve seen you here,” he chuckled.
You stopped for a minute in the middle of the hallway to get a hold of your things. You had to hike your knee up to properly zip your backpack before hauling it over your shoulder. “Oh, that’s right! Just a couple days ago you were here with your friends, right?”
He gave a bashful sort of grin. He had been here a couple days ago when he came to bother Changmin, and ended up hanging out backstage while Hyunjae’s best friend hosted auditions for her play. It was then that he had seen you hustling about with the Lee Jihoon about lights. He’d been caught so off-guard by seeing you; it was a miracle he managed to even get Changmin to forget about that whole interaction. “Yeah, sorry I was kind of… weird. I didn’t expect you, that's all.”
“Lots of surprise run-ins with us, huh,” you teased, the side of your arm bumping with his as you walked.
Us.
“It’s nice to see you more often though.”
You nodded. “The feeling’s mutual, Sunwoo. Thanks for warning me earlier; I’m usually more careful with my stuff, especially when I’ve got special cargo.” As you said this, you reached back to pat your backpack affectionately.
Sunwoo lifted a brow, opening the door for you as the two of you stepped out into the lobby. “Oh? What kind of special cargo?”
The smile on your face widened. “It’s, uhm, a recording mic, actually! I’ve been coming by to intern around the tech side of things here, and Chan and Jihoon give me some tips about music production, too.” You trailed off, an idea taking hold in your head, and that wide beam from just seconds ago became this shy, little thing. “Hey… would you maybe be up to listening to something of mine? I mean, it’s kind of a weird request, but your music taste from first quarter was top notch—”
“Yes,” Sunwoo said, without even waiting for you to finish your rambling.
You paused, and he rejoiced in the pure delight on your face. “Really? That’s—this is great. Wait, I’m so excited! We’ll need to find a private place to listen, but—”
“Oh my gosh, Yn?”
Coming in from the front lobby doors was none other than Han Jisung, a fellow second-year whom Sunwoo was familiar with. He was bundled in a massive, puffy cream jacket with his head shoved into a beanie, and his nose was reddened from the cold. Jisung tucked the earbuds in his ears away into their case, waddling over to you both with the joy of a baby penguin. “And Sunwoo! Woah, it’s so cool to see you, man. What’s up?”
Sunwoo clasped his hand in his. “S’cool to see you, too, dude. Yn and I were just on our way out.”
Jisung moved over to you and pulled you in for an affectionate side hug. “Oh, well, that’s nice to hear,” he snickered, wagging his eyebrows at you while you sent him a pointed look.
Wonder what that was all about…
“Anyways,” continued Jisung, “I just came by to bother Channie-hyung. Is he in the box?”
You bobbed your head in affirmation. “Yup. There isn’t anyone else with him right now, so I’m sure there’ll be plenty of space for you to bug him.”
“Nice,” he grinned. As he walked away in the direction from which you and Sunwoo came, he sent a wave. “See you both around!”
“Bye!” Both you and Sunwoo called back before resuming your walk out the front entrance.
“So how do you—” The two of you laughed when you both started talking at the same time, saying the same thing. Sunwoo gestured toward you, insisting that you ask the question first. You did: “So how do you know Jisung?”
Sunwoo snorted at the memory. “I, uh, saw him in the hall once and smacked his ass, then asked for his number.”
You had to stop to double over in laughter, clutching your stomach while Sunwoo looked on in flustered amusement. Your face had heated up considerably, and you barely managed to follow him down the steps toward the bus stop. “You what?” You asked, once you could get out anything other than wheezes.
He chuckled, shrugging. “Okay, well, I actually know him from this music summer camp we both went to in high school. I didn’t realize he came to this uni until I saw him last year and… well, made my presence known to him.”
You clapped your hands together and collapsed onto the bus bench. “I was gonna say—that’s one hell of a hello.”
“It’s a true story,” he insisted.
“Oh, I believe you.”
The two of you shared a laugh for a moment and Sunwoo took a seat beside you, his knee bouncing up and down as you waited for the bus to come by. He nudged your shoulder with his. “So what about you then? How do you know Han?”
“Hm? Ah, I just know him ‘cause we share the same major-ish. I’m sound and music production, and he’s just a general music major,” you explained. “We also share a composition class, as well as a writing course. Did you know the guy is a fantastic poet?”
Sunwoo’s eyebrows arched upward. “I would not be surprised; the guy’s an ace.”
“Totally agree.” You fidgeted with your phone between your hands. “He was also one of my first friends here after I transferred. He’s kind of shy, but he’s one of the good eggs you can meet.”
A nod. He glanced over at you, his eyes breathing in the far away look on your face. “Yeah, he is. But hey, at least you got to befriend him then, hm? Maybe some things are just meant to be.”
You met his gaze and Sunwoo felt his heart stutter into a gallop. “Yeah,” you murmured, “I think so, too.”
— ✶
You and Sunwoo ended up in one of the booths of the restaurants on the Avenue. It was a cozy, little hole in the wall with soup that tasted like home and made your belly feel warm and content. You had set up shop at your table, your laptop with the audio file pulled up and your wired earbuds plugged in. You had to power all of your will into not showing Sunwoo how nervous you were for him to listen to this—your fingers shook slightly even as you passed him both of your earbuds.
In an attempt to pass off as cool, calm and totally collected, you brought your glass of water to your mouth to sip on. You'd thought to order food first, then let Sunwoo listen to the file.
"Let me know if you can't hear anything," you blurted out just before he put the buds in.
He paused, then smiled. "I got it," he assured you warmly.
Once the buds were fitted and the song started playing, you could only wait and watch to gauge his reaction.
At first, his eyes widened a smidge. Then he slowly began nodding to the beat, eyes falling closed as he soaked in the electric guitar chords mixed in that Jisung helped you out with. You watched him lean back in his seat… saw the smile bloom on his face, wide like a flower opening its petals to greet the brilliant sun.
And that beautiful smile… oh, he was so pretty when he smiled.
It was a couple minutes later that his eyelids finally fluttered open, and yet that smile on his face remained ingrained there. He passed you your earbuds as you awaited the verdict. "Girl, you've got pipes," he said with emphasis, his face screwed up in an expression one could only describe as appreciative. "Like—oh my god, I want that bridge tattooed on my forehead," he groaned and leaned forward to bury his face in his palms.
Your heart could fly, soar, literally ascend to fucking space! You smiled, big and wide, as you wrapped up the wire chords around three fingers. "I'm glad you liked it."
"Liked it?" He perked up, then melted to the table as he mumbled into his hoodie sleeve, "I could kis…" You didn't catch the end bit of his sentence as his voice dissipated into the fabric of his shirt.
"What'd you say?"
When he lifted his head, his cheekbones had flushed a shade of rose gold. He cupped the back of his neck with a nervous laugh, "Nothing! It was nothing. I just—I just love it, Yn. Really, I mean it. I'm not just saying that because we're friends—"
"Ah, so we're friends?" You jested, even as your heart skipped like a pebble across the surface of a lake.
Sunwoo blinked, lips pursed. "We're not friends?"
"No, I'm only kidding!" You said and leaned your cheek against your fist. "Your reaction was cute though."
You swore something shuddered across his face, but you didn't have much time to analyze it when you felt a presence make himself clear at the head of the table.
Yangyang appeared in a warm-looking jacket and scarf, his eyes flickering curiously between you and Sunwoo. You suddenly felt an anxious spike in your chest at the thought of what this might have looked like to him. That was, until he saw the laptop, of course. You saw the relief in his shoulders, the ease in which he smiled now. "Hey Yn-ie, didn't know you'd be here."
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo scratch his jawline, then scoot forward and offer his hand to Yangyang. "Hey, I'm Sunwoo. You're Yangyang, aren't you?"
Yangyang clasped Sunwoo's hand good naturedly with a typical gummy smile. "Yeah, that's me. It's nice to meet you."
"I was just showing him the project," you said next, drawing both of the boys' attention to you.
"Ah," your friend nodded. "How'd you like it, Sunwoo?"
Sunwoo lit up. "It was—incredible. I don't even know how to describe it, y'know? If it was on my Spotify, it'd probably be on my Wrapped."
There went your heart, goodness. You and Sunwoo locked eyes across the table, and you wished you could convey how much his words meant to you by just a look.
"Totally agree," Yangyang nodded. "My Yn-ie's got a gift and she knows how to use it." He gave your head a gentle pat, and heat rose to your cheeks from the bombardment of attention. It hit you subtly, an epiphany—
Yangyang cleared his throat then and returned his hand to his side. "Anyways, I'll leave you two to it. I'll talk to you later?" He asked you as he was already taking a step backward.
—the heat wasn't for him. It simply wasn't.
"Yeah! I'll shoot you a text later," you promised. You realized then that you had barely even spoken to Yangyang since your Valentine's Day date ended several weeks ago. There had just been a lot of mixed feelings churning around in your head that needed time to be sorted out. (And it was currently being resolved.) With a slight inward grimace, you turned your focus back to the guy you'd brought here in the first place.
Sunwoo slid your laptop over to your side of the table. "Soooo… you and Yangyang, huh?" He laughed, and you weren't certain, but it sounded a bit unsteady.
You played with the hem of your sweater sleeve. "I mean, kind of? Not really? We went on that date a while back, if you remember, but that's about it."
He leaned in. "Yeah, I remember."
"Yeah, and we also haven't had time to really properly talk since?" You winced. "I guess it's not really as bad as I make it sound. It's just that, we've pretty much known each other since primary school. He had just moved from Taiwan, and we were pretty good friends. And he would move back and forth between here and this one town in Germany, but we would always—" you made a vague gesture, "—find each other? Is that the word?"
You let out a breathy sort of laugh. "I'm sorry, I dunno why I'm telling you my history with this guy. It's stupid."
Sunwoo frowned and shook his head. "It's not stupid, Yn."
You inhaled, then chewed on your cheek. "It's just that I always feel like people don't really stick around, at least for me. But Yangyang… he's been one of the few constants in my life, and I'm really grateful for that."
"I'm sensing there's a 'but' with this."
You indulged him. "But I'm starting to think that maybe I can't really see him as that kind of constant, if that makes sense." Your brows furrowed in thought. The boat you were on rocked roughly with the waves, the water turbulent and unsteady, as if at any moment it could throw you off. But you were used to the rocking, and you weren't sure why you should be so used to it. Settling for Yangyang even though you were beginning to realize that he probably wasn't The One? That was like staying docked in a home port you'd grown used to when you yearned for the horizon.
You heard Sunwoo crack his knuckles, and perhaps there really was a certain sheen to his eyes then. "I don't want to put words in your mouth," he drawled carefully, "and I can't imagine how exactly you feel and I don't know your whole story. But it has to be hard when it feels like, I don't know, like people are moving on without you." The earnestness in his eyes made his dark brown eyes deeper and richer. "And maybe it's comfortable with Yangyang and you want to try with him because you know that you two will always somehow find each other again."
"You kind of put what I was thinking into coherent sentences there," you mused, the corners of your lips curling upward.
Sunwoo reflected your expression. "That's good to hear, because I was pretty sure I sounded arrogant."
You laughed then, shaking your head. "No, I appreciated that. And you got it right." Breathing a sigh, you saw a waiter coming by to drop off the food the two of you had ordered. "I think it's just taken me some time with myself and with—with other people to make me realize it."
He glanced up with thanks as the waiter passed you your meals, and you swore you saw his hand make a move to reach for yours across the table. But he stopped short, and instead, helped move your hot bowl of soup over to you. "You never know," he said sheepishly, "The One could be right under your nose."
— ✶
eric 🤨: dude where did u go??? cobie hyung and i looked up and u disappeared into thin air
eric 🤨: omg jisung said u went somewhere w a GIRL??? IS THIS THE GIRL U WERE GETTING ALL DRUNK AND SAD ABT 👀
sunwoo’s phone: YAH!!! OH MY GOD STFU
eric 🤨: no.
EPISODE FIVE: LOTS OF THINGS BLOOM IN SPRING
“SO her name is DJ Dove?”
Sunwoo made a face around his toothbrush as he spat the frothy white into the sink bowl. “For the millionth time, yes.” Through the mirror, Sunwoo watched Eric’s face as his roommate perched himself atop the kitchen counter and went quiet, his face pensive. After coming home to Eric’s confrontation, Sunwoo promised to explain it all in the morning to him.
It was unfortunately the morning, meaning Sunwoo had spent the past hour bringing Eric up to speed on his nonexistent love life. Fortunately, it was also a Wednesday morning, which meant you had just posted your newest episode of the podcast, and Sunwoo could force Eric to listen to it with him. A part of him was tense at the thought of no longer “gatekeeping” his little secret that he had kept for the past several months, but this was Eric, one of his best friends. Maybe this would lift a weight off of Sunwoo’s chest by finally telling someone.
“...I’m still in the thrall of dead week,” your voice blasted from the speaker of Sunwoo’s phone at high volume, “and it’s come to my attention that next quarter will probably be a lot for me. I guess this is me forewarning you all that I might be late with some episodes because I’ve got this new internship thing.”
Sunwoo dunked his face into the sink bowl as he splashed water over his lathered foam cleanser. “She’s talking about her internship at the performing arts center.”
“How do you—never mind, forget I asked.”
Sunwoo patted his face dry, then opened the medicine cabinet for all of the skincare products he used to start off the day.
“...It’s been awhile since I’ve recommended something myself, so today, do enjoy ‘gone too long’ by lullaboy with me.” The song began a few seconds after you queued it up, and the apartment was then filled with muted vocals and strings.
Sunwoo straightened. He and Eric went quiet for a while as they both let the song sink in. Sunwoo continued to slather sunscreen on his face and neck, and Eric had started up the stove to make a batch of ramen for the both of them.
A peculiar sensation draped itself over Sunwoo’s shoulders, a blanket of something that wasn’t quite calm and wasn’t quite jittery. He didn’t know how to pinpoint or label the weird tightness in his chest. The song was strangely intimate, as almost all the music Sunwoo listened to was, but when it came from another person, it was always a whole new level of intimate. Whenever someone recommended a song, it was a way to view a piece of them—perhaps not a large piece, but a piece nonetheless. If eyes were the windows to the soul, then music was the viewfinder.
Maybe he missed you. But that didn’t make sense—it… it couldn’t make sense. He saw you yesterday, and he was listening to you now. How could he miss you?
“She has good taste,” Eric murmured as the song faded out.
Sunwoo nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah. She does.”
“...Hopefully when you miss me you’ll play that song,” he heard you say in a lighthearted tone, even though he felt almost like the complete opposite. “On that note, Rhaps sent in a message asking about the dance showcase coming up! ‘Are you planning on going, and if so, any acts you’re looking forward to? Isn’t it crazy that we could be sitting next to each other and never even know?’ —”
Eric perked up, his head peering over his shoulder to look at Sunwoo as he came out of the bathroom to join Eric in the kitchen. “That’s you? Rhaps?”
“Rhapsody Anonymous,” Sunwoo corrected. “And don’t judge me!” He added with a pointed look, finger jabbing in Eric’s direction.
Eric shook his head with a giddy sort of grin. “I didn’t say anything.”
For a moment, the two boys went quiet with only your voice and the sounds of the stove keeping them company.
A thought occurred to Eric though, and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Does it ever feel like lying?” He asked and gestured for Sunwoo to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet.
Sunwoo walked over with the soup bowls, then leaned his hip against the counter next to Eric. “Does what feel like lying?”
“Hiding that you know it’s her.”
Well… Sunwoo idly scratched his jaw. “I guess I never thought about it like that,” he said. All this time, he’d figured it was probably better that he didn’t bring it up to you. After all, you used a pseudonym for a reason and didn’t show your face. Maybe this was just supposed to be your secret passion project that you used as a safe space. He didn’t want to burst your bubble by confronting you with that information. How would he even go about doing it? Oh hey, by the way, I’ve known that you’re this podcast host DJ Dove for a very long time? That probably had ‘awkward’ written all over it.
Eric passed him a pointed glance. “Something to think about then.”
— ✶
Finals week had come and gone, a hurricane of destruction in its own right. But when the storm passed, it gave way to the beautiful cherry blossoms blooming in the quad. As per university tradition, the quad was filled to the brim with students, staff, and tourists alike gathering to pose in the falling pink petals that marked the coming of Spring Break. This was no different for Sunwoo’s friend group who was dragged out to the event by none other than Choi Chanhee. In an effort to appease his friend in some aspect, Sunwoo had come dressed in something decently presentable: black cargo pants, blue denim jacket, and his face fitted in a pair of dark frames (that were definitely not just frames or missing the lenses…).
He shoved his hands into his pockets after taking a peak at the time on his watch. The group had been here for about ten minutes thus far, and half of them had already split off with their significant others to take their own rounds about the quad. They weren't the only ones—in fact, there were probably as many couples as there were people taking grad photos and cosplay photos.
And wait, someone had come in their wedding dress—nothing spelled out Sunwoo's singleness more potently than a couple getting married.
He took a panoramic glance and accidentally watched another couple go in for a kiss. He looked away with a slight frown, blowing a curl out of his eyes. "I hate this more than Valentine's Day," he grumbled.
From beside him, Kevin Moon sighed as he tested a shot with his camera and had to adjust the settings for the right exposure. "You're telling me." When he raised his camera up again, he immediately had to bring it back down with a deadpan expression, "At least on Valentine's Day, people won't photobomb you."
As the group's self-proclaimed Dad, Lee Sangyeon, summoned the attention of the boys who were present for a partial group photo. Sunwoo smiled for it, then returned to his frown. Chanhee had his camera held up as he attempted to take a selfie shot since he had been staking out this one tree trunk that a group of people had just left. Sunwoo had to admire the way Chanhee wordlessly swooped in like a vulture over a dead carcass.
"Aye, Kim Sunwoo," Chanhee exclaimed and beckoned Sunwoo over with a curl of his two fingers. Chanhee's head scanned the immediate area and his nose wrinkled when he realized he was missing someone. "Where did Changmin go? He was literally right… ah."
Chanhee's voice trailed off and a sly, little grin when he located the man in question. "Look."
Sunwoo followed Chanhee's gaze across the field to where he was sneaking up behind a familiar person. Sunwoo had met this girl twice, once when he and Changmin had gone looking for Jacob and the other when he went with Changmin to go see her for moral support. Both times, strangely, had been at the lab. Huh, did she even go home…?
But then Sunwoo observed the way Changmin and CM!Yn looked at each other. Though Sunwoo had seen Changmin's eyes light up before, this was a different sort of twinkle, something softer. There had always been a cloud hanging over Changmin when it came to this girl, always some kind of bittersweetness that held him back. It made a smile crawl onto his lips at the sight of Changmin so happy.
"Wah," Chanhee murmured in awe. "They really mended their relationship well, don't you think?"
Sunwoo pursed his lips with an indulgent nod. "Yeah, I'd think so."
His friend sighed. "Oh, well. Looks like it's just us two then."
Sunwoo stepped forward and took Chanhee's phone from him, swiftly changing it to the forward facing camera. Chanhee struck a few poses beneath the blush pink trees as he soaked in the golden hour sunlight streaking across the lawn. Eventually, Sunwoo turned the camera back around to take shots of both himself and Chanhee.
He adjusted the phone so that the selfie mode could capture both of them when he spotted Chanhee scuttling back over toward him with a pile of pink petals collected in his palms.
Sunwoo's eyes went wide and he leapt backward away from his grinning friend. "Hyung, come on, let's talk about this."
Chanhee cackled and inched forward still. His hair was the exact same color as the flowers cupped in his palms. "Sunwoo-ah," he sang, "I think your hair needs a bit of color."
"I just did my hair this morning!" He whined and pleaded desperately. The last thing he needed was to be plucking stray petals from his curls later tonight. When Chanhee still wouldn't quit, adrenaline began to pump through Sunwoo's veins in anticipation for what he needed to do next. "Chanhee hyung! We can be civil about this."
"Civility is overrated!"
Just as Chanhee pounced, Sunwoo swerved on the ball of his foot and made a mad dash toward the other side of the quad. Chanhee's giggles filled the late afternoon air like the twinkling of bells, and though it was probably an amusing sight for onlookers, Sunwoo was running for his life.
Sunwoo pumped his legs furiously as he weaved in between people standing and taking their pictures, screaming out apologies for photobombing them as he went. And when he nearly tripped over someone's dog, he managed to lock eyes with yours.
You. Oh my god, you were here.
He had little time to fully comprehend what he was about to do, but he made a beeline for you.
"Sunwoo, hey—oh!"
Sunwoo grabbed your shoulders and careened himself behind you, his face partially hidden behind yours. "I'm sorry, but—" he screeched, "—he's threatening to ruin my hair!"
Chanhee laughed as he stopped in front of you and Sunwoo. His pale cheeks were dusted with the color of the flowers in the air. "Ah, well, hello. This isn't very gentlemanly of you, Sunwoo. Who's this?" He threw Sunwoo a look over your shoulder.
Fuck. He hadn't thought this one through.
Sunwoo laughed sheepishly and let go of your shoulders to clasp the back of his neck. It was only then he realized you were wearing a delicate, pastel sundress with cherry blossoms littered in your own hair. A gentle breeze wafted by and through your skirt and brushed back a few strands of your hair too.
Pretty…
"This is," he stammered, snapping out of his daze, "Yn. Yn-ie, this is one of my close friends, Chanhee."
"It's nice to meet you," Chanhee said with a warm smile and slight bow of his head.
You gave a little wave. "Nice to meet you, too, despite the circumstances."
"I would wave back," Chanhee gestured with his hand of flowers, "but this is a nice pile, don't you think?"
To your credit, you played along. You laughed, "I totally agree. It definitely should not be wasted on giving me a wave. Though, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to get back at Sunwoo." You turned your head and cocked a brow at him, to which he smiled back boyishly.
Chanhee considered you again for a moment. "I like your style. I guess I'll just… leave you to it then," he drawled and sent Sunwoo very pointed glances with his eyes toward you. Something about the way Chanhee's eyes narrowed minutely made Sunwoo want to hide behind you again.
Chanhee whistled a merry tune as he went on his way, leaving you and Sunwoo to your own devices as he probably went to go find his next victim.
"I'm so sorry about that," Sunwoo lamented as soon as Chanhee was out of ear shot. "I did not mean to make you a human shield."
You chuckled. "It's okay, dude, really. Definitely didn't think I'd find anyone I knew in this mess, so it's nice seeing you out here."
Sunwoo gave you yet another once over and felt heat crawl up the column of his neck. "I—you look really pretty," he said, gesturing to your outfit.
"Oh, thank you," you chirped. "You clean up quite well yourself."
The two of you shared a smile then and for a second, Sunwoo's mouth went dry and no words leapt from his tongue. They all remained lodged in his throat where his heartbeat went pitter-patter.
He cleared his throat, breaking eye contact with you for a moment.
You made a vague nod toward one of the open benches lining the perimeter of the quad, an invitation. "Wanna come sit with me?"
"Do I?" Yes. The answer was yes.
When you and Sunwoo were seated side by side, centimeters separating your arms and legs from touching the other, his heart still had not settled. The adrenaline, in fact, also had her to dissipate. With wide eyes, he soaked everything in.
"Did you go to the winter showcase on Friday night?" He blurted, turning to you.
You met his gaze. "I did. It was such a cool experience, especially since it was my first time. Did you?"
He nodded, locking his lips. "I did, yeah," he murmured. "I had a couple friends performing, so we all went to cheer them on. It's always a really great time though; I'm glad you got to go."
"Oh, that's nice. I always find dancers so impressive," you said with a wistful gleam in your eyes. "Do you dance?"
He found himself fidgeting with Chanhee's phone that he still held onto in his lap. "A little," he admitted bashfully. "I took an intro to hip-hop class last year, and I sometimes dance with my friends. Just—not in public," he said.
For a second, something flickered across your face. But he must have been dreaming because it was gone as quickly as it came.
"So music and dance? You're a multi-talented threat, Sunwoo."
"Aw, not really," he giggled. He wanted to hide his burning face in the collar of his jacket, but there was something about you that also made him unafraid to show you this side of him. Actually, you made this side of him come out. He wasn't usually so terribly shy, always tumbling over his words and doing diction cartwheels… communications major, his ass. "What about you? You're literally a musical genius. You should be on my Spotify Wrapped, Yn."
This time, he could relish in making you flustered. "Aye, you can't say that and expect me not to wanna…" You lost your own words, biting your tongue.
He didn't know what got into him, but he leaned forward closer to you. "Expect you not to what?" He asked lowly, teasingly.
Your breath hitched in your throat, and he swore his own rapidly-beating organ was going to come flying out of his chest.
"Expect me not to—steal your glasses!" With a high-pitched squeal, you snatched the lensless frames from right off his nose.
Sunwoo gasped in scandal, diving to grab them back, but you had already stood up from the bench. "Yah! Those were expensive frames!"
Your face lit up as you donned them. "You'll have to take it off my face then!"
"Bet!" And he lurched after you as you took off into the setting sun.
Your voices echoed across the quad: "Jisuuuuuung! Jisung, save me!"
"Jisung can't save you when he's scared of me!"
EPISODE SIX: AND THE MUSES ARE OFF!
"IT'S not a date!"
"It's a date!"
"It's not a date!" Sunwoo stopped abruptly in the middle of his living room where he had been wearing a hole in the wood floors from pacing. He whirled on his sock-clad heels to face his sofa of judges, Changmin and Chanhee. Eric was out with his girlfriend watching the newest action movie that had come out over Spring Break. "She would say if it was a date, right?"
Chanhee smacked his palm against his forehead with a puff of air. Changmin, however, leaned back on the couch with a ponderous look on his face and rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "She probably would. She seems like she has more balls than you."
"Hey!"
Changmin grinned. "Just saying." He then leaned down to pick up his duffle bag sitting at his feet. "I've gotta run now, but let me know how it goes."
Sunwoo leveled a scowl at him as he passed by to go to the door. "I hope CM!Yn trips you in the practice room."
"Into her arms!" He hollered back, which was swiftly followed by the front door slamming shut.
While Changmin was headed out to meet CM!Yn at the practice room for her first time returning to dance after three years, Sunwoo and Chanhee were left to prepare Sunwoo for today's agenda. Yesterday, you and he had traded numbers, to which you had immediately asked if he'd wanted to hang out with you some more over Spring Break. The answer had been as easy as counting to three.
Now the only problem was to not freak out over it.
"You're picking up lunch, aren't you?" Chanhee asked as he shoved Sunwoo into the bathroom.
Sunwoo nodded shallowly and picked up his round brush and blow-dryer. "Mhm. I'm meeting her at the performing arts building, and we're gonna take the metro up to Lake Anchor. Ever been up there?"
Chanhee fixed the collar of Sunwoo's white button-up, then snatched the brush and blowdryer out of his hands to do it for him. "Nope. Heard it's nice up there though."
"Yeah," Sunwoo muttered, nearly dropping the serum bottle in his hands. "She said her friend Sieun recommended it."
"Ah."
It wouldn't have felt like a date as much if Sunwoo hadn't searched up Lake Anchor when you'd texted him about it last night. The place was gorgeous, a certified calendar-worthy landscape with purple mountain majesties in the back and shores lined with emerald green hills and willow trees. It didn't help that the Reddit pages all deemed it a "couple's picnic spot you can't miss." Oh, he wasn't going to miss it, all right.
Thirty minutes later, he found himself outside the doors to the performing arts center where you said you were currently taking a tech lesson from Bang Chan. He had a paper bag of snacks and sandwiches from the local convenience store in one hand and the other tucked away into his pocket.
He wondered if he could go in and see you, but he'd already texted you he was waiting outside, and you'd replied you were on your way out.
Just as he was about to go sit on one of the benches, one of the doors at the entrance opened. You emerged out into the late spring morning with the breeze in your hair, a tote bag slung over one shoulder, and a ukulele case hanging from the other. You smiled wide at him and waved.
Sunwoo's lips parted into a grin. "Hi. I got us snacks," he said and lifted the brown bag in his hand.
"Sunwoo, you didn't have to," you pursed your lips fondly, adjusting your bag straps.
"I wanted to." The two of you fell into step in the direction of the closest metro station. It would be a short walk from here into the university Avenue, and down a block to the station. Everything was conveniently placed in the name of accessibility. "Plus, I didn't really eat breakfast," he admitted.
"Me neither." You cupped half your face with your palm. "Aish. I always forget I have, like, yogurt in the fridge, y'know?"
Sunwoo chuckled. "Yeah, I get that. My roommate and I always forget that we have groceries in the fridge because we always see the ramen packets on the counter instead. How was the lesson with Chan?"
The two of you stopped at the intersection to wait for the light. You hugged your ukulele to your chest. "It was good! He's always really helpful and knowledgeable—and patient," you mused. "I hope you don't mind me bringing my uke along though. I thought it would be a nice form of entertainment once we got up to the lake."
"I'm not entertaining enough for you," he gasped melodramatically, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout.
You laughed, and the sound made him break his pout and smile. "I thought I would be the entertaining one for once. D'you know how to play?"
The crosswalk sign turned on for you, and you both made your way across.
"I know some guitar," Sunwoo answered, "but just the basics. They teach you a bit at summer music camp." As he walked by your side, he felt his hand brush against the back of yours. "My hyung—Jacob—he plays guitar pretty well. He's good at singing, too, like you."
He caught your smile from the corner of his eye.
"He did it to woo his girlfriend," he jested, sticking his tongue in his cheek when he remembered how JC!Yn brought him and Haknyeon up to speed last quarter about her love life antics.
You chuckled. "That's a shame you know the trick," you said with an impish twinkle in your eyes, "because that was exactly my plan."
Sunwoo came to a screeching halt in the middle of the walkway, and when you realized he was still staring wide-eyed at the sidewalk, you let out a laugh and went back to drag him along to the station.
— ✶
The view was something out of a magazine, the kind that took one's breath away. You and Sunwoo had claimed the shade beneath a willow tree and settled down across from each other with the brown paper bag flattened out to display the feast he had purchased. There were other small groups of people around, as well, all of whom seemed to have the same ideas as you two as they soaked up sun, read books and napped in the shade, and picnicked along the grassy shoreline. There was even a small booth a mile down the bank that rented out swan-shaped paddle boats and canoes for people to take out onto the water.
You and Sunwoo had pretty much demolished all of the goodies he brought with him. The conversation had been flowing, simple and organic, and you felt at peace—that was the best way to describe it. Maybe it was the location, the circumstance, the company, or all three.
You picked up your ukulele from where it laid in its case by your side. "Any suggestions?" You queried, taking the instrument out and checking that it was in tune.
Sunwoo brushed his hands of crumbs and braced his palms on the grass behind him. It was the visual of him in that white shirt, his sleeves rolled up and collarbone exposed, jawline clean and sharp as he gazed out at the view that made your heart race again. "Hmm," he hummed, "what did you first learn on it?"
"I think I taught myself Lemonade by Jeremy Passion," you said to him and scoured your brain for the right chords. You strummed a G-flat minor, and when it sounded about right, you shifted to B, until you managed to jog your memory of all four chords.
He watched you with softened eyes, his knees pulled up to his chest now as he leaned his cheek onto the tops of his knees. "That's a good song," he murmured.
"Do you know the lyrics?"
He chuckled, shaking his head and flicking his wrist. "Oh, no, no. I don't sing."
"Doesn't sound like you can't," you quipped back with a teasing tilt in your smile. You swayed a little as you played the tune over and over again. "A little shy, are we?"
You could see the smile peeking from his lips even when he tried to hide it in his arms. "I don't sing a lot."
"If I sang the first verse, would you join me in the chorus?" You offered as a compromise. You wouldn't push after this if he still refused, but there was a part of you that felt like you needed to hear this beautiful man sing for you.
He balked for a second, toeing at the dirt. Then, "Okay. I'll join in at the chorus."
A smile bloomed on your face. "Excellent."
You were a little shaky going in yourself. Though you had definitely practiced this song more times than you could count, performing it for someone else was always like playing it for the first time. And you wanted Sunwoo to enjoy it, and to be impressed by you. You wanted to do well for him and to be able to encourage him.
As he said he would, you heard him join in at the chorus—softly, at first, until he was the main vocal and you could bolster him with the harmony.
His eyes met yours, all smiles, as the song continued on. The ending verse… dear god, you could fall over from pure giddiness at the way he nailed the runs and you could do a little showing off with your strumming. Shivers, just plain shivers.
"She's exactly what… I need," he crooned, fingers playing absentmindedly with a strand of grass.
You let the vibrations of the strings linger in the spring air for a moment. It was like the two of you were encased in this bubble all by yourselves; and it was beautiful. It was perfect.
"I knew you could sing," you said to him. "I just had a feeling."
He hung his head, but the smile on his face could not be suppressed. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"For encouraging me," he shook his head. "Believing in me."
You pursed your lips together thoughtfully and you wished you could pick his brain without risking total invasion. "Do people not believe in you often?" You asked quietly, shifting to move yourself around the pile of rolled-up trash and to sit next to him.
He followed your lead, scooting himself next to you until you were no longer opposite, but adjacent. "Not people, just me, I think."
"Ah." You could empathize.
He gave a shallow nod. "Do you ever get scared of making a mistake so you don't—I dunno—go for it? And then you end up thinking that maybe not taking that risk was the mistake?"
You set your ukulele down in the case beside you and mirrored his position, arms looped around your legs. "I do. All the time actually, and it's a scary feeling."
"Yeah," he exhaled. "Sometimes I wish I had just gone into music, full-on. I mean, a communication major is useful and all, but there are times when I wonder where I would have been if I had nurtured that passion."
His words resonated within you. There was a reason why you transferred to this university and decided to leave your original plan behind. You had gone into college with an intent to major in Computer Science, but less than a year in, it had become abundantly clear to you how unhappy you were. Leaving wasn't just a choice, it had been a need.
You turned to look at Sunwoo and you felt your chest tug toward him. You bumped his leg with your knee. "You still have time," you said. "It's not too late to still see where that goes."
But you knew the conflict that warred in his head; you knew it all too well because you had experienced it firsthand. It was much more complicated than simply chasing after one's dreams. There was obligations, expectations, fears, and physical obstacles that made the situation more complex than it seemed at first glance. You didn't know his family situation, didn't know the whole story of why he hadn't taken his summer music camp experiences and translated it into his current college career.
You didn't know it all… but you wanted to. You wanted to know everything about him.
"You said you don't have a minor figured out yet, right?" You asked suddenly, an idea coming to you.
He hummed. "Yeah."
"Well, why don't you choose music as your minor?" When he didn't answer right away, you added, "You obviously don't have to decide right this second—it's just something to think about."
(It seemed he had a lot he needed to think about lately.)
Sunwoo rose up and leaned back onto his palms again. When he turned to look at you, a sense of calm had come over him this time. "I really appreciate you."
You broke into a smile. "I appreciate you, too."
"No, really," he laughed, then bit his lip. "I'm sorry for screwing the mood—"
"You're not! Really," you insisted. "I don't mind. I like having meaningful conversations with people who mean a lot to me."
He didn't even have to say anything, because there was this look, one you simply could not ignore. It made your stomach feel like it was swarmed with butterflies and that you were walking on air. It was like watching him smile while listening to the song you wrote, like walking out of the performing arts center to see him waiting for you. He didn't have to say anything because you knew—you had to. There simply could not be any other explanation, right?
EPISODE SEVEN: WHAT IF SOULS FEEL FAMILIAR FOR A REASON?
YOU had been keeping a secret.
"So what you're saying is that you know that he knows, but he doesn't know that you know that he knows?"
You nodded, arms crossed. "Yeah, pretty much."
Jisung made a face and rested his temple against his palm. "My brain hurts."
From where she was perched on a stool, Park Sieun reached over and patted Jisung's nest of hair. "It is a little confusing. Why don't you just confront him about it?"
"I don't know," you huffed and fell back against the wall. The three of you were holed up in one of the private studios on campus. There weren't many buildings opened since it was still Spring Break, but many of the performing arts facilities were. Jisung had offered for you and Sieun to meet him in the room he had snagged and had been currently occupying in order to bust out as much creative energy as possible. (Newsflash, it was not going well, hence, yours and Sieun's invitations.) Studio rooms were pretty much soundproof, so they were good for those in the music programs who wanted a private space to practice or record things.
You had just brought them up to speed on your latest outing with a certain Kim Sunwoo up to Lake Anchor, as Sieun had so graciously suggested to you the other day. After your outing, however, you'd come to one very solid conclusion.
Well, and there was the matter of The Anonymous Situation.
Just this morning, you had opened your inbox to find another submission from one of your regular anonymous listeners whom you affectionately nicknamed Rhaps. Rhapsody Anonymous had begun to pop up in your inbox just last quarter, and it wasn't until recently that you figured out who it was. At first, it seemed completely implausible for Sunwoo to be the face behind the name, because there was no way out of a whole internet of people that he had managed to stumble across your podcast.
To make matters more complex, you had an inkling that he also knew that you were the host of Songbird Station. He had sent you something along the lines of: "Hey Dovey! I stumbled across this song recently that I haven't heard in awhile. It's called Lemonade, and I realize that I've only actually heard the ukulele vers. LOL anyways, I hope you're not too busy this Spring Break and that you've had time to relax. I've always wondered though… have you ever met someone who feels familiar to you? Not like in a 'I've reunited with you after five years' kind of familiar, but like… something more like kindred spirits……"
The whole message had the same amount of sweetness he always used to contact and interact with you, but the recommendation of the song Lemonade simply could not be a mere coincidence. You just couldn't accept that.
You had pondered this for a long time—the possibility of confronting him about his anonymous persona. And of course, there were several things that held you back from doing so. "I mean," you began, pushing off from the wall to slowly pace the little room available, "I don't want to scare him, y'know? Like I'm sure there's a reason why he goes by a pseudonym like I do, and I don't want to burst that bubble.
"Plus," you continued, "what if I'm just thinking about this all wrong? What if I've read the signs completely out of proportion and he's not actually Rhapsody Anonymous? That would just be embarrassing."
You stopped in front of your friends with your hands positioned on your hips and your head quirked to the side in thought.
"Would it really be so bad if you brought it up, like, even subtly?" Sieun asked you, her pink-tinted lips pursed slightly.
Jisung piped up, too, "Yeah, Sunwoo's a pretty cool guy. And based on what I've seen between the two of you and what you've told us, I don't think he would laugh at you or anything."
"I don't think he would laugh at me either," you confessed. "It's just kinda scary."
The two murmured their agreement. Though Sieun was your trio's only extrovert, you actually had no idea how you'd come to be decently close friends with these two. You chalked it up to all frequenting similar social circles. The music program was always a good way to make friends, and you were glad that it had yet to fail you, even in college.
Sieun made a vague gesture with her hand. "I think you should try, though. I'm sure you'll find a way to slide it in," she chuckled.
Jisung snorted. "I have never seen that man so flustered in his life."
"Yeah, he has to be whipped for you, Yn-ie."
A cough from the boy in the room. "Not like you're any more whipped than he is."
"Han Jisung!" You reprimanded, heat swarming to your cheeks.
He broke into a boyish grin, eyes wide and alight like a chipmunk. "What? Don't give me the government name; you know it's true!"
Even Sieun was laughing behind her oh-so delicately placed hand. "He's got a point."
You sighed, wrinkling your nose. "I came for support, not a call out."
"Are those not the same things—AH, I'M SORRY DON'T WHACK ME—!"
— ✶
There was a place on the Avenue with the best lime soda, as Sunwoo had claimed, when the two of you coordinated to get lunch together. Because you had chosen the place of your last hangout, you'd insisted that he chose a place this time. By his texts, he had seemed pleasantly surprised to be hanging out again so soon, and while your nerves were high in anticipation for the coming conversation, you also couldn't wait to spend time with him some more.
You met outside the storefront of a Vietnamese restaurant that you'd only seen in passing, and had yet to try. You glanced up from your phone just as Sunwoo came up from down the road toward you, dressed in jeans and a bomber jacket.
"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting," he said as he swung the door open for you.
You and he ducked inside. "It's no worries," you assured him. "Hope you're not sick of me just yet."
You saw that boyish grin of his as he caught your eyes and signaled the waiter for a table for two. "Never."
When the two of you were seated, your eyes greedily took in the options laid out on the menu. There were just far too many appetizing items—maybe you should have scouted out the menu beforehand.
"Any favorites?" You queried from over the rim of your menu.
Sunwoo was slinging his shoulder bag over his head as you asked this. "Oh, uh, I've been hooked on their shrimp banh xeo ever since my friend Haknyeon introduced me to it. It's like a Vietnamese crepe with stir fried vegetables and a protein. But I think in general, everything is pretty good here."
You hummed. "Mmh, sounds good. And you said the lime soda is really good, too?"
He nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, for sure. That stuff is addicting."
You took his word for it, and soon, the two of you had finished ordering your lunch for the day. A part of you wished you didn't have to disturb the pleasantness of this one-on-one lunch date (was this a date?) with Sunwoo by bringing up the podcast, but what if by clearing the air, it would make your relationship stronger? (Or, it could end in a fiery, hot pile of shit!)
Either way, you would try to get to it as organically as possible.
"So I wanted to talk to you about something." Yes, because this is totally organic, Yn… You grabbed your cup of lime soda and played absentmindedly with the straw.
You gauged his reaction carefully. He perked up. "You—you wanted to talk to me about something?" He parroted, pointing his finger back at himself. "That's not usually good."
"Sorry, no, it's not bad!" You promised. On the way here, you had come up with about a dozen ways to go about this, but at the end of the day, there would only be a yes or no answer. "Do you, by chance, happen to listen to podcasts?"
There was that flicker of recognition over his face, and for a second, he reminded you of something like a puppy with how wide his eyes were. "Uhh," he drawled, scratching his head and feigning nonchalance, "I mean, sometimes. Like casually."
"This might sound weird—"
"Uh-huh."
"—but are you Rhapsody Anonymous?"
If sweat could be animated, that was what you imagined to be dripping down the side of Sunwoo’s face at this moment. He seemed to be figuring out a way to reply. “Would you believe me if I asked you what a Rhapsody Anonymous is?”
“No, not really.”
“What’s a podcast?”
You huffed. “Sunwoo—”
“Okay,” he relented, slumping over slightly. He seemed nervous, in a way, eyes looking anywhere but you, twirling his straw between his thumb and index finger, his foot tapping furiously against the linoleum floor. “I’m sorry! I didn’t really want to bring up the podcast to you because I thought that you enjoyed the anonymity, y’know?” He told you with an apologetic wince. “And I really liked listening to the show, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to interact with you anonymously, as well, and over time, I thought we’d kinda become friends.”
He peered up at you nervously, and guilt wormed its way into the trenches of your gut. From what it seemed, he must have really thought that you would react negatively to him knowing your podcast-hosting side show.
“We are friends,” you finally said and scooped a lock of hair out of your face. “I’m not like, mad, or anything; it was more of me trying to figure out why you felt so familiar to me. And I’m really honored that you liked my podcast enough to want to interact with me there. It means a lot.”
With your small smile, Sunwoo’s posture flooded with relief. “So you’re not mad that I figured out your identity?”
“Definitely not,” you shook your head. “If anything, I’m relieved. I’ve been wondering about your identity for a while now.”
The corners of Sunwoo’s mouth lifted. “That’s… that’s cool. This is really cool,” he said. He let out a sigh, leaning back to slump in his chair with a dramatic expression of anguish on his face. “You have no idea how much it’s been eating me up inside, Dovey! Like how do you balance your two identities? It takes so much energy for me to make sure I keep them separate.”
“I can tell; you weren’t exactly the most inconspicuous,” you teased.
He sat up. “What do you—”
“Well, you kind of told me things in person that you’ve told to me on anonymous, and vice versa.” You recalled to him the two main instances that gave him away to you. It was amusing to see the way he grew increasingly more flustered as you kept talking about it, but you realized that this was probably incredibly painful for him to hear.
Sunwoo had his head in his hands by the time you were done. “I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot.”
He shifted slightly so that his cheek rested against one palm. “And to think that I was being all slick and secretive,” he pouted, scrunching up his nose. “You know, I always thought about being friends with you in real life. That one time that I told you about that one Taylor Swift song that reminded me of you?”
“Superstar?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.” He meditated on that thought while sipping his drink. “It just felt right. Like you were far away but also right there in my ear. Does that make sense?”
You knew what the song was about; you could recite the lyrics by heart, and the fact that he associated that song with you… It sent your heart a-flutter. “It does.”
He jolted up so suddenly you nearly fell out of your seat with him. “Not that I’m desperately in love with you or anything,” he added quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth as fast as he mentally skimmed through the lyrics again and again. His cheeks were tinged with pink, and you were sure that your neck looked as hot as it felt.
You pretended your heart didn’t drop to the pit of your stomach when he said that. You laughed along with him, though you weren’t sure why it sounded like it did. “Oh, right, right. I didn’t think that; don’t worry.” All the butterflies in your stomach drooped.
Sunwoo scrambled to find the right words. “I just mean that I always felt like some average Joe, and you were…” He gestured to you helplessly, “you.”
Your heart couldn’t help but give a sharp pang at that.
“And how could I ever be anything more to you than just another listener in your stats, y’know?”
You never thought that you would have ever given off that kind of vibe toward listeners, or come to mean that much to any members of your audience. It had seemed simply impossible for you to ever become large enough to evoke that kind of feeling in people—a popstar to their fans. You folded your arms over the table and leaned toward him. “Sunwoo, you were never just another listener. You made yourself known to me and you made me feel like I wasn’t alone.”
He slowly met your eyes, and you sat up straighter, reaching toward the paper straw wrapper to fidget with. “I originally started this podcast because I needed a place to talk. After feeling like people were always moving on without me, I was trying to search for validation, and I found that in podcasting. I figured that maybe… if I was feeling these things, then there had to be someone out there who was feeling them, too.
“And the song recommendation and music talk was always a nice bonus,” you added. “I had people send in anonymous submissions, but never as frequently as you did, and it made me feel like I was reaching somebody. Not just a random hit every so often, but somebody.”
Sunwoo’s eyes shone in the artificial lighting inside the restaurant, and outside your little bubble, you barely registered the noises around you. It was just you and Sunwoo in this moment in time and space. He swallowed. “You’re really cool, you know that?”
You grabbed your cup of lime soda and softly knocked it against his. “That’s all you, superstar.”
— ✶
Lunch had progressed much smoother after you had confronted Sunwoo, to say the least. You were convinced, however, that you had to meet this Haknyeon character he kept telling you about. He was the one to recommend the Vietnamese restaurant, and he was going to be your new favorite person. (Sorry, Sunwoo.)
When both you and Sunwoo had finished up with lunch, you didn’t want to cut your time with him short and asked him if he’d ever been up to the Farmer’s Market north of the Ave.
“There’s a Farmer’s Market over there?” His mouth gaped as he let you lead him a couple blocks north.
You grinned, tipping your head up to the sky to soak in the last bits of sunlight before it was about to be blanketed over by gray clouds. “Yeah! It’s really neat. They’ve got one going every week, I think.”
The walk up was an easy one as it was a straight shot from the restaurant to the intersection where white picket fences were set up to barricade the street for vendors to set up in. Pop-up tents of different colors and sizes lined either side of the street as people milled about going from vendor to vendor. This had been one of the few gems you’d found when you transferred here, and though you didn’t often visit, you tried to buy at least a couple things to support the local businesses. The fruit here tasted much better than the ones in-stores, anyway.
You and Sunwoo slipped past the fences and into the throng of people, and you watched his face light up in awe as he took in the sights and smells. There were people selling beaded bracelets and art, farmers tossing blueberries into kids’ mouths… it was a lively slice of community here.
“Wow, this is incredible,” he said, but suddenly stopped short. “Oh my god, they’re selling melon pops, Yn-ie!” He pointed out a stand a little further down the way that he had peered over a few heads for. He grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him. “Come on! I’ll treat you to one.”
It wasn’t like you were going to refuse him.
Within another few minutes, you and Sunwoo had both acquired one melon popsicle each. It was adorable to see him bouncing along on the balls of his feet like a kid on Christmas morning as he lapped up the light green juice dripping down the side of the frozen treat.
“—look how pretty those sunflowers are!” He gasped at one of the stands to your left selling bundles of different flowers.
An idea popped into your head, and you scurried over to the booth and traded a two dollar bill for one of the baby sunflowers. You whirled around to where Sunwoo stood and waited for you. “Stand still,” you said while reaching up to tuck the flower behind his ear.
Before he could comprehend what was happening, you pulled out your phone and snapped a quick picture of him.
Sunwoo’s eyes had gone wide, his cheekbones the same color as the roses in the bundles behind you. “What… just happened,” he asked, blinking, then came over to poke your shoulder to get your attention. He peered over at your phone screen to see that you were setting the photo you took as his new contact photo. He let out a hum, “Wow.”
“It’s cute.” You let him see the picture.
He narrowed his eyes at the screen before finally giving it a nod of approval. “Okay, good enough.”
You scoffed, lightly hitting his arm with the back of your hand. “Good enough? I think it’s perfect.” You finished off the rest of your melon pop and tossed the stick in a nearby trash bin.
(If you’d looked up from your phone at that moment, you would have seen the utter bliss on Sunwoo’s face after hearing you compliment a picture of him and calling it “perfect.” To him, absolutely nothing could ruin this day, this moment, this year for him—!)
One raindrop fell onto your phone screen, followed by another, and another, and ano--
(He should not have spoken so soon.)
“It’s raining,” you observed dumbly, reaching a palm out to feel the pitter-patter of the sky’s tears on your skin. Others around you were beginning to notice, too, either huddling under their nearest tent or the overhangs of establishments lined on the sidewalk.
You figured somebody must have pissed the weather off because the rain only began to drum harder against the world.
"Well, shit," you laughed and patted Sunwoo on the back of his shoulder to move him toward the side of the road. "Let's find shelter!"
The two of you joined the crowd as you scrambled past the tents and up onto the sidewalks. Some people simply went into the shops themselves, but you and Sunwoo took a moment to stare out at the once-clear sky. Strange how springtime weather worked.
Sunwoo finished off his popsicle and found a trash bin to toss the stick into. He ran a hand through his dampened locks, then dragged that same palm down his face. "D'you like a little rain, dove?"
The nickname caught you off-guard for a second, but not as badly as seeing the soft-cornered smile on his face.
You cleared your throat. "I don't mind it. How about you?"
He made a frown at the sky as if he could reprimand nature for crashing the date—wait, this wasn't a date, was it? "It would have been nice if the weather report was accurate for once, but a little walk in the rain never hurt anybody."
You voiced your agreement. The next course of action you both decided on was making the long trek home in the rain together. You tried to stay out of the shower as best as you could, but there definitely weren't enough overhangs to get you home completely dry.
At one of the intersections, Sunwoo looked over at you through his dripping wet bangs. "You don't have a jacket."
On instinct, you glanced down at your bare arms, only clad in a T-shirt. "Oh, I guess I don't," you mused.
"Here—" he shouldered off the black bomber jacket and draped it over your shoulders.
"Sunwoo, I can't—"
"Yes, you can," he laughed and shook his head out. The light turned green to cross, and he wrapped an arm around you to keep you steady along the rain-slicked street.
The jacket and arm around you were both warm, but you had a feeling that even without the jacket, his arm would have been more than enough.
When you'd made it to your apartment complex and bursted into the front lobby, you and Sunwoo practically stood in your own self-made puddles. You took the jacket off from around your shoulders and shook it out; it was a shoddy attempt to get the water out, but at least the material was semi-waterproof on the outside.
"Here you…" Your throat went dry as you made to hand his jacket back to him and zeroed in on the way his wet, white T-shirt stuck flush against his skin. There was no other way to describe it but as see through, and there was no way in hell you were going to be able to erase that defined stomach from your mind. "...Go."
You coughed as you looked away, and he accepted his jacket back with a low "Thanks."
When he zipped his jacket up, you nodded toward the elevator. "Do you wanna come up and dry off before you go out? You can totally borrow my umbrella if you want, too."
He shook his head. "No, it's okay. My apartment's not far, I swear."
"Ah, alright. Get home safe then." You paused, then added, "Text me once you get back?"
Sunwoo flashed you a smile, and man, if you could engrave that smile, the wet hair, into your brain… "Promise. I'll see you soon, superstar."
He reached over and ruffled your hair, then ducked out of your apartment into the rain. Just before he was out of your sight, he turned back and waved at you through the front windows.
You let out an exhale once he had disappeared. A fuzzy feeling lingered in your chest, your smile never leaving your face. You were so far gone.
EPISODE EIGHT: SWERVE LIKE A CHICKEN
ALTHOUGH Spring Break had swept through the university faster than it came, Sunwoo could still say he felt like he was riding on Cloud 9. The beginning of the quarter was easily a more relaxed part of the term, but Spring quarter itself was a whole other nightmare in itself. Everyone around him was beginning to wake up from their break-dazed slumbers to clamber their asses back into uncomfortable lecture chairs and study rooms.
It was the first Tuesday back from Spring Break when he found out you were going to be in a practice room alone for a while, working on a new project. This intel had been courtesy of one Han Jisung, who had been texting Sunwoo off and on about a track he had been mixing with Chan.
han !!: yeah just left cuz my brain was feelin super fried 🤣 dunno how ynies still there
sunwoo's phone: oh fr?? she's still over there?
han !!: yuh bro that's what i just said
han !!: r u gonna do anything abt it 👀😳
sunwoo's phone: i have no clue what ur talking abt
han !!: okay bye chicken
sunwoo's phone: u did not just call me chicken.
han !!: 🐓🐓🐓
Sunwoo walked out of his room and stood in the middle of the apartment, staring blankly at the back of Eric's head. His roommate was seated on the couch setting up a movie, and when he sensed someone was staring at him, he began to say, "Baby!—wait a minute."
Eric made a face. "Never mind, it's just you."
Sunwoo scoffed and flopped onto the opposite end of the couch. "Rude! Before EC!Yn, I used to be your one and only."
"That's actually so incorrect—"
"Do you boys ever not cat-fight?" EC!Yn mused as she came out from the bathroom and found a seat between Eric and Sunwoo. Eric instantly curled an arm around her and pulled her into his side.
Sunwoo considered this with a frown. Why was he so single? "You're lucky I tolerate your boyfriend, EC!Yn," said Sunwoo as he folded his arms over his chest and sunk into the shadows of his hoodie.
"I'm glad you've come to like me more than your own best friend," she drawled in jest. "What's got you in the dumps, my friend?"
Eric perked up, pressing the play button on the TV remote to start the movie. "Oh yeah! You were in such a good mood this morning."
A grumble from the lump of hoodie. "It's nothing."
A moment of silence passed. Then, "He misses Yn."
"I think so, too."
"Do you think if we texted her to text him, he would at least smile?"
"Oh, I think I found her Instagram the other day—"
Sunwoo peered out of his hoodie with narrowed eyes. "I can hear you guys, you know that, right?"
Both Eric and his partner shot him impish grins, delighted that their very obvious conversation brought him out of silence. The thought forced a smile onto Sunwoo's face anyway. Eric's baseball game had been canceled today because the team who they were going up against this week had internal problems (something about an affair between coaches and players—it was complicated). Thus, Eric had decided to fill his afternoon with an impromptu movie session with his girlfriend. Sunwoo was invited by roommate obligation.
There were definitely more productive things that Sunwoo could have been doing (finding a minor, finding a job, finding the answers to his cognitive psych homework, etcetera), but watching… Wait, what were they even watching?
EC!Yn reached over and nudged his shoulder with her knuckles. "Hey, Earth to Kim Sunwoo."
He shook out of his daze. "Huh? Oh, sorry." He sighed, pulling out his phone. "Jisung just told me that Yn's at the practice room working still."
"Still?"
"Yeah," he bobbed his head. "They've been there ever since they finished their composition class this morning."
Eric lowered the volume on the TV. "Dude, you should go keep her company."
Sunwoo's eyes shot open as he began mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. "I don’t wanna bother her; she probably doesn’t wanna be bothered if she’s been working for so long.” The thought had crossed his mind to head over to the practice rooms right now and sit in for a session, but he had shut his own idea down almost immediately. Would you appreciate him going to bug you or would you mind him just going to sit with you and enjoy your presence?
“I was thinking the exact opposite,” said EC!Yn, “I mean, whenever Eric comes over unannounced to come sit with me at the dorm, I appreciate it all the time.”
Eric cooed. “Aw, you do?”
Sunwoo blinked and was suddenly glad he was staring down at his phone and not the couple on the couch next to him. But he glanced up to catch EC!Yn’s eyes. “Do you really think she wouldn’t mind?”
When Eric tucked his face into her neck, she idly scratched his head. “Oh, definitely. I think it’ll be a nice surprise, considering she probably feels the same about you, based on what you’ve already told us.”
“You’re right!” Sunwoo shot up off the couch, but halted. “Wait, she what?”
Eric snorted. “She said that Yn probably feels the same about you, which, if I’m being honest, I can’t believe—”
Sunwoo dashed into his room to grab his wallet and keys. “Nobody asked you!”
— ✶
Coffee. You liked coffee, right?
Sunwoo couldn't quite think straight with the giddy anticipation bubbling in his stomach and up his chest as he balanced twin cups of iced americano in his hands. Taking the bus to the School of Music would have been less effort on his legs, but waiting for it simply did not sit with the amount of energy currently carrying him down the street and up the stairs and across the quad like a madman.
People were probably eyeing him weirdly, but he was trying to come up with things to say to you. Preferably, these things were smooth and not strange fragments that weren't properly strung together. He wanted to look put together, to sound put together.
He was probably going to look frazzled, though, from half-running a mile uphill, but that was okay—he was excited to see you.
The School of Music stood right across from the School of Art building, the twin towers looming above the quad stairs. With school back in session, there were plenty of people milling about the entrance, and somebody graciously opened the door for Sunwoo so he didn't have to awkwardly balance his coffees and risk spilling them to get inside. He hadn't often visited this building, but he had been in here before to visit friends and upperclassmen. Though the architecture was grander, it still had the homey feeling of a high school band room, some place music students could call home.
Sunwoo navigated himself toward the practice rooms in the back hallways, murmuring "excuse me"s and apologies as he sidestepped string bassists and bassoons and snare drums. (He could've sworn there was a whole drum kit in one of these; it was strange seeing someone carrying around a single snare… huh.)
He reached the corridor to turn right into the practice hall when he froze, diving back behind the wall.
"—wait, Yangyang—"
Something in him sunk deep into the pit of his stomach, an anchor to the sea floor. He watched you launch out of your practice room and into Yangyang's arms, both of you hugging each other closely. He had his arms wrapped around you and his cheek against the crown of your head.
Sunwoo couldn't hear what you were saying to each other—if you were saying anything at all.
And you didn't let go. Not yet, at least.
When you did finally let go, the two of you were beaming at each other. It was near impossible to make out what kind of emotion was there from so far away, but Sunwoo couldn't look anymore when Yangyang leaned in towards you—
Sunwoo pressed himself against the wall he was peering around.
Oh.
He struggled to swallow; there was a large lump sitting in his throat that he had to wrestle down.
Disappointment—yeah, that was disappointment.
Before you or Yangyang could come down this way, Sunwoo retraced his steps from where he came until he was back outside. He sucked in a breath, mind abuzz.
He set down the cups of iced coffee, now perspiring, on a ledge nearby, so he could pull out his phone.
It rang twice. "Yo."
"Are you practicing right now?" Sunwoo asked, leaning his body against the railing. His free hand held his face as his brain replayed the events he had just witnessed. Did that mean what he thought he meant? You were totally allowed to see other people—the two of you weren't exclusive—but goddamn, did that hurt to think about.
Was he too late? Had he chickened out so long that you decided to move on, or was he never in the running in the first place?
He heard a bit of shuffling from the other side, then a sigh from Changmin. "Now I'm not. What's up?"
"I'm coming over."
A pause. "...Okay, see you soon."
EPISODE NINE: [YELLS.]
THERE was something different in the air and you could taste it. Not literally, of course, but you figured your paranoia had manifested strong enough within you to be able to sniff these kinds of things out. "These things" referred to the slight difference in the way you interacted with Sunwoo, or rather, how Sunwoo interacted with you.
You turned your phone off again, having checked it for what felt like the fifth time in the past two minutes. Usually, he replied relatively fast, but for the past week or so, he'd been a little more delayed. He didn't text dry, which was a relief, but there was something off about it. You couldn't articulate it too well—it was just a gut feeling.
"Oy, phone away, Yn," Sieun ordered, snapping her fingers and holding her hand out across the table.
You sent her a look, but reluctantly handed your phone over to her. "But—"
"No buts!" She tutted. She hid your phone within the confines of her purse before promptly returning to the warm bowl of biang biang noodles in front of her. "The more you check your phone, the sadder of a sap you look."
"Thanks," you deadpanned, but followed her lead and picked up your chopsticks to eat your food.
The two of you were seated in, arguably, the best Chinese restaurant on the Avenue. It had become a fast favorite of yours when you first transferred, saved for the long days and weeks when you needed something like spice to make you feel anything other than sad. Sieun had suggested coming down here for dinner rather than staying in and eating another round of instant ramen. It was something she knew would cheer you up easily, and so far, it was only half working.
You reached for your water, only to realize it was practically empty.
As if she could read your mind, the waitress taking care of your table appeared at your side and filled your water up for you.
"Oh, thank you!" Your eyes glanced over at her name tag—HN!Yn—and met her kind eyes.
"Of course. Anything else I can get you two?" She asked cheerily, swiftly filling up Sieun's cup, as well, with practiced grace. "Food's good?"
Both you and Sieun nodded your heads vigorously, especially since both of your mouths were now full and you couldn't speak. She seemed to get the idea and hustled over to a nearby table to tend to them. How waiters and waitresses always knew when you had food in your mouth, you could never figure out. It was always absolutely awful timing, but you supposed the skill was akin to Starbucks workers butchering name spellings.
When you finally swallowed your bite, you chased it with a gulp of water. "I don't think I did anything wrong," you said to your friend, pushing around the saucy rice in your bowl with the tips of your chopsticks.
Sieun covered her mouth. "I don't think so either," she replied, eyebrows furrowed. "Maybe he's just busy? It could be that he got a job or something, or school work is piling up."
You frowned. You thought he would have let you know he was going to be a bit busier, but at the same time, he didn't owe you anything. You just worried about him and hoped he wasn't overworking himself. It didn't help that you missed hanging out with him; it didn't feel like it used to between you just last week.
From behind you, you heard the door to the restaurant open and close with a loud smack! The door to the restaurant was awfully loud when it closed, unless it was carefully done. Something about the angle at which it was constructed, or something like that.
Sieun's brows flew up. "Speak of the devil," she muttered with her food pushed into her cheek.
"Hm?" You hummed and twisted around in your seat to see who she was referring to.
Oh. Well, she definitely wasn't wrong, per se.
Coming in through the door himself was Kim Sunwoo, as well as a few of his own friends, you guessed. You recognized one of them as Ji Changmin, one of the dancers from the winter showcase. Besides those two, there were four others, too—three other boys and a girl. You didn't recognize any of them, but you saw the way your waitress greeted them and squeezed one of the boys' hands.
You and Sunwoo made eye contact, and you shot him a small smile, lifting your fingers in a wave.
He seemed surprised to see you, and you didn't fault him for that. His wave was slight and smile shy, but you couldn't figure out why he ducked his head and didn't come by and say hi.
They're being seated for dinner, Yn. It's okay. Chill a little.
You turned back in your seat to face Sieun and your food again.
"Hey, cheer up, girl." Sieun's smile was sympathetic as she caught your attention. You hadn't even noticed how your posture noticeably slumped after that interaction—if one could even call it that. "Don't let this ruin your dinner, okay?"
You sighed out of your nose, testing your chopsticks over the rim of your bowl. "You're right. I don't know, Eun. It feels like we regressed? Is he avoiding me? Am I overthinking this?"
"I'm not sure, hon," she told you. "It'll be okay, though. I promise. Are you ready for the check?"
You nodded, reaching for your napkin to wipe your mouth.
Sieun lifted her hand and caught your waitress's attention, then made a motion for the bill. HN!Yn was quick to bring it over and set the little black tray with the receipt onto the edge of your table. In her hands she held a small device to input your method of payment.
"Are we splitting the bill today, ladies?" She asked you, eyes flickering between you both.
"Yeah, evenly split would be great, please," you told her.
Sieun leaned over to peer at the receipt as you reached into your bag to grab your card. Her face contorted into confusion, and she ran her finger over a line as if reading over it again carefully. "Oh, uhm, excuse me. It says we get a discount—not that I'm complaining! But…"
HN!Yn smiled. "Ah, you're friends with Sunwoo, right? That's what he told me, at least. I always give my partner and his friends my Friends & Family discount, so don't worry about it. I appreciate your integrity though."
You and Sieun exchanged wide-eyed glances, blinking, then turned to peer over at where Sunwoo's friend group sat. One of the boys sitting next to him whacked his arm to get his attention, nodding toward your table.
Sunwoo looked up.
Your head tilted to the side and you mouthed a "thank you?" to him, unsure of why he went out of his way to help you out.
He only nodded before ducking his head again. Huh. You'd have to thank him properly later.
HN!Yn was quick to help you and Sieun box your meals and finish paying. Before long, you tucked your arm around Sieun's to push out into the cool evening—not without glancing back at Sunwoo's table first.
— ✶
"She looks sad. Why is she sad?" Sunwoo sulked, lying atop his folded arms on the table and staring at you through the space between Haknyeon and JC!Yn.
You were the last person he thought he'd see when he and his friends walked into Haknyeon's favorite Chinese restaurant. You and your friend were pretty much wrapping up dinner when they'd come in, and he was quite literally startled by your presence. He'd been walking around on eggshells, he felt, all because of this stupid situation he'd forced himself into.
It was stupid. Yeah… it was stupid.
Changmin delivered a light whack to the back of Sunwoo's head. "You're dumb."
Sunwoo sat up and cupped the back of his head, leveling a glare at his friend. "Hello?"
"He's not exactly wrong," said Chanhee from the other side of him as he texted someone on his phone.
Sunwoo pressed his lips together and looked across the table from him at JC!Yn in a silent cry for help. The woman could only lift her shoulders half-heartedly. That meant that she agreed with them… great.
Eric snapped his wooden chopsticks apart and began using either stick to smooth the other for splinters. "We're saying you're dumb because you're doing this to yourself and to her unnecessarily."
Sunwoo huffed. "That's because you guys weren't there to see it happen! They're totally together—or at least, close." It still felt awful to think about. It felt like there was a hole in his chest left empty after considering the possibility that he was too late. He didn't want to get hurt.
"You can still talk to her like you used to, Sunwoo-ah," Haknyeon chimed in. "Even if they were—and I'm not saying they are—together, there's still a healthy amount of space where you can dwell as her friend."
HN!Yn appeared at the head of the table with a tray of water, and everyone pitched in to pass the cups down. "Thanks, guys," she said, tucking the tray under her arm. "Are you guys ready to order?" The question was directed towards the rest of the table, but Sunwoo saw the way her eyes lingered on Haknyeon and how Haknyeon's smile shifted to something that Sunwoo was sure was only for her.
It made him feel strange again.
The group, as usual, trusted Haknyeon's choices in dishes and let him take the reins in deciding what they ate tonight. Once HN!Yn had headed off into the kitchen to deliver their order, conversation resumed swiftly.
"I think you're just scared, Sunwoo," JC!Yn said to him over the rim of her glass of water.
Murmurs of agreement resounded from all around the table. Sunwoo's jaw fell open. "I—I am not scared. What would I be scared of?"
"The truth! Oooh," Eric pursed his lips and wiggled his fingers in Sunwoo's direction.
Sunwoo promptly smacked Eric's hand away.
"If you weren't scared of the truth," said Haknyeon, as he propped his elbows onto the table, "you would have gone up to her in that hallway."
"Didn't she tell you that she didn't see Yangyang that way anyways?" Chanhee chimed in. He was still going at it texting whoever it was on his phone.
"But she also said she wanted to give it a second chance," Sunwoo corrected.
Changmin scratched behind his ear and grabbed sauce trays from the end of the table to pass down to everyone else. "That was before she started hanging out with you some more. What is your point?"
They all made excellent points, he thought. That afternoon he'd seen you and Yangyang, he'd gone to meet Changmin in one of the dance practice rooms. After that, he'd gone home to yell into his pillow until his throat burned. Eric had muttered something about Sunwoo being dramatic and summoned JC!Yn over to the apartment to deal with him.
Sunwoo had just been bummed. He didn't even know if bummed was a strong enough word.
"I'm just scared of getting hurt, I guess," he finally admitted, meekly.
The table quieted to allow him room to speak his mind, and even Chanhee put his phone away to give him his full attention now. It wasn't often Sunwoo wore his heart on his sleeve like this, and it wasn't easy either. For anyone. Admitting to his fears in the middle of a Chinese restaurant while five of one's friends listened in was intimidating, but it was comforting to know that these friends he kept would find a way to support him. Even if he was being stupid, their tough love was out of desire to look out for him.
When he was done, Changmin clasped a warm hand on his shoulder and his dimple pressed into his cheek. "Sunwoo-yah, I think that you second guess yourself too much and you know that. You're self aware enough to know that you make the mistake of not going for what or who you want."
Sunwoo stared at an impurity in the table. What Changmin was saying hit the nail on the head—it was what happened with the dance showcase, too, and now he was about to let it ruin a friendship he had with a person he cared very much about.
"My advice," Changmin continued, "is to talk to her about what you saw and clarify it. I know it's… I know it's scary thinking you're gonna get hurt again, but I think you'll feel a lot better afterward."
EPISODE TEN: SUPERSTAR, I'M NOT TOO FAR
your phone: hey thanks for the fnf discount last night! sorry i didn't thank u properly before, but yeah, really appreciate it :')
sunshine (sunwoo): it was no problem, dw abt it!
your phone: btw is everything okay? u seem a bit distant lately and i wanted to make sure u were doing alright
sunshine (sunwoo): ah yeah, im sorry :( there's just been some things on my mind
You shot Sunwoo a quick text back to let him know you were here if he wanted anyone to talk to. His text had just come in after you'd sent him a reply in the early evening.
"Yn-ah. Still on your phone, I see?"
You jolted and shoved your device into the pocket of your jeans, smiling sheepishly as Lee Jihoon power-walked into the backstage area with a pen behind his ear and a clipboard in hand. "Hi, Jihoon!" You squeaked.
He lifted his eyebrows at you, motioning for you to come follow him. Since everyone was back from Spring Break, the work for the play being performed was kicked into high gear. Jihoon was a graduate student at the university and a director of the stage here; adding the fact that he majored in the same thing you did also made him one of your favorite mentors ever. The back hallways were bustling with costumes, props and other assorted technicians while most of the actors were either in the main backstage area or onstage proper with the play director, HJ!Yn.
You followed swiftly after him and weaved through the people littered about the corridors. "I finished synching the panel back here with the projector in the box," you told him, "though, it's weird that it was ever undone in the first place." You frowned. There had been a lot of strange things happening in the theater lately.
Jihoon gave you a curt nod and set you up in front of one of the house lights panels located in the hallway leading right out to the audience. He pointed at it with the back of his pen. "Yeah, some funky shit's been happening around here," he sighed. "You were here the other night when the speakers were acting weird, right?"
You nodded and let him guide you through navigating this backup panel. "I was. You and Chan seemed really stressed."
"We were," he said, adjusting his cap. "We really do need some more funding to update our equipment—careful, that knob is really sensitive. Good, nice work."
Once you and Jihoon had successfully finished with this panel, you lingered in the hallway for a moment. Normally, you would switch back and forth between shadowing either Chan or Jihoon, and tonight was with the latter. He was going through a couple forms on his clipboard—he must have been reading through them while working tonight.
"You seem distracted tonight, Yn-ie," he said. "Is everything okay?"
Despite being one of the busiest and hardest workers here, Jihoon was also one of the most observant, still. You leaned against the wall next to him, toeing at the floor. "Boys are stupid, right?"
Without hesitation or looking up from his clipboard, he replied, "As a boy, I can confirm."
That made you sputter out a laugh, and you saw him glance up and flash you a smile. When you couldn't find something else to say, he went forth. "I don't know the whole situation, and you don't have to tell me anything. But we guys are a little—" he made a gesture with his hands and wrinkled his nose, "—blind. You probably know that already, but dudes are dumbasses, and sometimes when feelings get in the way, they want to run for the hills.
"But if you think he's worth it, then reach out and be forward with him. And if he cares about you, he'll reach out and be honest," he finished. He let you settle with that thought, let it marinate in your brain to give you something to think about. (As if you didn't have a lot to think about already.)
You pressed your lips together with a slow nod. "Thanks Jihoon."
"Anytime, Yn-ie." He nodded back toward the direction you both had come from. "Let's go back that way, yeah? We've got some more housekeeping to take care of."
— ✶
Sunwoo was in trouble.
"...I thought I'd recommend a song that's been on my mind. I've actually been listening to quite a few Taylor Swift songs recently, especially since she's re-recording all her albums! So here's 'Superstar' from Fearless, Taylor's Version."
He had put your most recent podcast episode on full volume while he made himself dinner. It had been a long day today, and so his automatic thought was to listen to you. But now that he was getting into the meat of the episode, he was quickly coming to realize how much trouble he was in. You were playing the song, and it was a direct call out to him to wake the fuck up.
As the song faded to a close, your voice came back on.
"Actually, I was recommended the song by someone I know," you said in the mellow tone you'd been in for the entire episode so far. "I guess I'm just confused and I was wondering if they really meant what they said."
Sunwoo nearly dropped the egg in his hand onto the kitchen floor. Guilt swirled around in the bubbles of the soup in the pot and he frowned down at the rich, creamy liquid.
He sighed, tapping the egg against the counter and cracking its innards into the pot. "Of course, I really meant it," he said as if you could hear him. He wished he had the guts to tell you everything that was going on in his head… As his soup boiled away, he leaned against the empty counter to wait, cradling his head in his hands, groaning. "You're being unfair, Sunwoo."
"...This one's from Peony! They say: almost didn't realize Rhaps Anon wasn't in the last episode until the very end when we hadn't gotten a rec from them. Hope they're doing okay!" Ah, so you weren't the only one who noticed his brief absence. Your sigh filled the apartment, though, he heard the way you tried to force some kind of cheeriness into it. "Yeah, I hope they're doing okay too. But Rhaps'll be back! Let's all wish them well. Fighting!—"
Oh, man. Now he felt even worse.
He really needed to talk to you. Oh god, he really needed to talk to you. If not to confess, then to clear the air and assure you that all was okay on his end. He was just being a coward, and he knew that well enough now.
When his dinner had finished, Sunwoo turned the flame off and headed for his phone on the opposite counter. He lowered the volume as he went in and pulled up his text thread with you.
sunwoo's phone: hey,, i know ur probs busy w the play this week, but is there a possibility for me to see you sometime soon? i wanted to talk to u abt something
He gnawed on his bottom lip as he awaited your answer, until he realized you were probably working. That made him drop his phone and return to his dinner—maybe he just needed to not look, so his anxiety wasn't so high—
His phone buzzed and he bolted back over.
superstar 💫: i think i'll prob have some time saturday morning
EPISODE ELEVEN: [SOMEONE'S LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, LOSERS.]
YOU asked Sunwoo if he'd like to tag along with you as you did some grocery shopping before rehearsal on Saturday morning. His answer had been automatic, and you both agreed to meet each other at the bus stop to ride down to the larger supermarket down the hill together. Even as you stood at the corner of your street waiting for him beneath the overhang, you were trying to come up with possible things he was going to say to you. You had figured, when he’d texted you Wednesday night, that perhaps the best way to go about this would be to make this casual. Hence, why you were forcing yourself to go grocery shopping a day earlier than you usually did.
Casual, in this case, called for “you don’t have stare me in the eyes the entire time,” and to be frank, you were a little too nervous for that kind of setting anyway.
You tugged the edges of your cardigan over you as you heard your name being called from the opposing street. Sunwoo was bounding his way over to you with his arm raised in greeting. You returned the gesture with a soft smile. “Hey.”
He stopped by you, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray jacket. “Hi,” he said, licking his lips. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.”
The bus slowed to a halt in front of your stop, and the two of you retrieved your transportation cards to board. “You say that like I wouldn’t have agreed,” you chuckled and tapped your card, Sunwoo following suit.
The two of you managed to find a pair of empty seats near the second half of the vehicle where the exit was for an easy departure when you reached the foot of the hill. But for now, you tucked your bag onto your lap and settled into the window seat, while Sunwoo occupied the one next to you.
You turned your head to gaze out the window and watch the world blur by as you did. The Avenue streets were a tad narrower than most around the university, so the bus traveled as efficiently as it could from stop to stop before turning the block to make its descent. It was technically still morning, and though it was spring, the sky had decided to blanket the sunshine with gray clouds to form an atmosphere that reminded you distinctly of the past winter quarter. Except, instead of thin, empty branches, the streets and walkways were encased in darkening green leaves and falling pink petals, a nod to the short-lived cherry blossom season. From the corner of your eye, you saw Sunwoo’s foot start to tap against the ground like Thumper the Rabbit, and you wondered for the millionth time what was going on in that pretty head of his.
“I don’t really understand,” you found yourself saying—his head swiveled—and you turned to look at him, “did I do something wrong?”
Sunwoo stammered, "What? No, it wasn't you! It wasn't your fault at all—I was just—" he sighed, grimacing to himself. "I was just being stupid. And I know that sounds super vague, but the short answer is that I was being stupid and scared and insecure."
Your brows furrowed and you felt the bus come to a gentle stop at the foot of the hill. "Scared and insecure? What's going on; is everything okay?"
You both got up to make a quick exit off the bus and began making the short walk from the bus station into the outdoor shopping center.
There was a jittery bounce to Sunwoo's steps as well as a tension in his shoulders. "Last week," he began, "Jisung told me that he'd just left you at the practice room and that you were probably going to be there awhile."
You nodded, grabbing a basket at the front of the grocery store. That rang a bell for sure. It had been a very long day in the practice room, so you weren't quite sure what direction this was going in yet.
"Well, I wanted to go surprise you and come hang out with you. You know, like, to keep you company." He started scouring the opposite shelf to you in the dried foods aisle, his eyes nervously darting from the BUY ONE, GET ONE pasta noodles deal signs, to your person. "And when I got there, I saw you and Yangyang."
Me and Yangyang…? Oh, me and Yangyang.
It was like a lightbulb went off in your head, and you stopped pretending to look at the overpriced vermicelli noodles on the shelf behind you.
"And you guys were hugging and close and stuff—and by all means! I—I have no problem with that, of course," he added quickly, "I mean, you guys are really close… friends? And I just saw him lean toward you and left because I… I got the message." The latter portion was delivered in a defeated tone as he looked on toward you helplessly and sorrowfully. It was how Sieun described you Tuesday night when you'd seen Sunwoo at the restaurant: a sad sap.
You both stopped moving down the aisle to face each other. In the white, fluorescent supermarket lights, his hair hung in his eyes like his head in embarrassment. You were going to let him finish.
He cupped the back of his head, suddenly feeling so bare before you despite not being physically naked at all. "I thought some space might distinguish or extinguish my feelings for you," he continued, nose wrinkling and lip curling in a wince. "Clearly it didn't help, and I think overall, I realized I wasn't being fair to you—as a friend. And that I was also being the biggest fucking loser ever."
Wait, you were still reeling from the mentions about feelings—
Before you could even address the aforementioned, you had to make something clear first. You felt the corners of your lips lift. "Sunwoo, me and Yangyang really are just friends." At the confused, puppy-dog look in his eyes, you explained further, "That day, Yangyang came by and I made it clear to him that I just saw him as a friend. I felt really awful for feeling like I'd led him on and was going to lose his friendship."
Sunwoo's mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, and he struggled to come up with the response he wanted. "So… so when he was leaning in toward you…"
"He leaned in and flicked my nose, then almost gave me a nosebleed," you chuckled. You'd given him a very appropriate flick to the forehead after that.
His eyes widened at that. "Well shit. Are you okay?" He asked, and you saw his smile slowly begin to make its appearance, the sun peeking through an overcast sky.
"Yeah, perfectly fine," you dismissed with a flick of your hand. "Especially now. But yeah, we're just friends."
There was a surge of relief in his tense shoulders. "Oh, okay."
He trailed after you as you continued to make your way down this aisle in particular to pick up the things that were on your shopping list.
At one point, he coughed, handing you the jar of red peppers you were reaching for. "So no hard feelings, right? I promise it will be totally back to normal!"
"Normal, as in back to before?"
He nodded eagerly. "Yeah! To be honest, Dovey, I was just kind of scared that I had lost my chance after waiting so long. I don't know. And I realized that I was just scared to face that fact."
You gauged his reaction and your own heart thundered in your chest. "Scared to face the fact that you'd lost your chance with me?"
"Well, yeah. I—" He stopped and froze like a deer in headlights. And in any other circumstance, you would have been laughing, but he seemed so distraught by what he just admitted to that you tried hard to suppress your amusement. Tried. "I just said that aloud, huh."
Nodding, you grinned fondly. "You did."
He smiled, cute and flustered, cheeks tinted pink. "You're always too easy a person to talk to," he muttered.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"I would've said something sooner…" He began.
Something jumped to attention in your brain. Oh no. "Was I giving you mixed signals?" You pursed your lips like you'd just gotten into something sour. "'Cause I swore I thought my attraction to you was clear. And, like, the thing where I totally began rethinking my thoughts about Yangyang when you came into the picture—"
"Wow, so Changmin was right?" Sunwoo made a face, holding his hand against his forehead. "That's crazy."
"Crazy good or…?"
He chuckled, and you couldn't help but admire the twinkle in his eyes as he did. "Crazy so good."
"I don't think people actually say that."
He whined, "Yah, you can't already be clowning me. Not when I just confessed that I like you."
That made you sober up, but you couldn't say the same for your heart rate. Man, your BPM alone could probably power a bullet train… "I like you, too. I hope that's clear."
There you two stood in the middle of the dried foods aisle with twin smiles glowing on your faces, soft and shared. You didn't know what the BOGO pasta was doing, but it was definitely adding to the atmosphere. You had intended for running errands to distract you from whatever Sunwoo had wanted to talk to you about, but clearly that was not the case—it would have never worked like that. You would be damned to have missed something like this. Not with him.
Perhaps he had made a mistake—he was now apologizing and clarifying and trying. You could hear Jihoon's words of wisdom ring loud and clear in your head. There was something perfectly fine about how this turned out.
"No more mixed signals?"
"No more mixed signals," he agreed.
— ✶
The remainder of your errand run with Sunwoo had gone smoothly, and soon, you were both seated side by side once more on the bus up to the University District. Sunwoo had gotten a couple things for his fridge, too, and so you both sat with your grocery bags by each other and your fingers grazing the other. Ever since you had clarified your position with Sunwoo a little over an hour ago, you had been feeling much lighter, your heart skipping for a different reason. You were back to feeling the giddy excitement you always had around him, and especially since you knew he saw you in exactly the same way.
The two of you shared a laugh as you stepped off the bus and onto your block, grocery bags in hand.
“—I’m being completely serious! Apparently I was just snot-nosed wailing into her shirt about being single and forever alone,” Sunwoo guffawed, grinning wide at you as you both stopped to the side of the walkway. “And Eric was pissed, oh my god.”
“I mean, you just kiss-blocked him; kind of understandable,” you mused.
Sunwoo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Aye, I know. He’s a good guy though. Total loser, but a good loser. He made me hangover soup the next day.”
You let out a laugh, walking slowly with him down toward the entrance of your apartment complex. "That was sweet of him."
He snorted, "A little out of character, but yeah."
"You know," you piped up, "when I was applying and eventually interviewing for the position with Chan and Jihoon, I had no idea what either of them looked like. So I accidentally—woah, shi—"
Somebody coming down the sidewalk toward you crashed into your shoulder and sent you careening toward the sidewalk. Sunwoo swore as you let out a squeak—his arm looping around your waist and hauling you against him to steady you.
He lifted his head in the direction of the person with a glower on his face. "Hey! Dude, watch where you're going!"
"Thanks," you said sheepishly.
He turned to fix you with a smile, and you saw the moment he realized the position you were both in: you pressed firmly up against the side of his body, his arm wrapped around you, your faces so close to one another… He released his hold on you, neck burning as he cupped the back of it. "Heh, yeah. It's no problem. People should just really watch where they're going."
You coughed and nodded your head. "Yeah, for sure."
The pair of you were now in front of your apartment complex once more, reluctant to say goodbye. You wondered if he would ask to spend more time with you, but you had a feeling that he wouldn't want to intrude on your time any longer. It wasn't like he was intruding to you, but it was just a feeling you had about him. He wanted to respect your time.
And, well, you both had groceries to put away.
"So I'll uh, talk to you soon then?" You asked him, holding your grocery bags in front of you.
He peered at you through his lashes. "Definitely."
"This morning turned out way better than I thought it would, to be honest."
"Yeah no, same here," he echoed. "I'm just glad you actually gave me another chance."
You reached over and gave his shoulder a playful punch. "How could I not? I've always believed in you."
That seemed to ignite something inside of him. He jutted his bottom lip out and whined, "Oh my god, you can't just say that! You're so—wah."
You giggled, watching him squirm like he was being jolted by electricity. "Hey man, sometimes you've gotta be straightforward."
"Yeah, I know." He sobered slightly and took a step forward. Your heart clambered around in your chest and rattled your ribcage. There was this look in his eyes that made you glance at his lips—his perfect, plush, pink lips.
You held still, held your whole fucking breath, as he turned his head and kissed your cheek. It was feather-light, barely there, and yet, all the heat in your body seemed to rush to that single spot in a millisecond.
When he pulled away, his voice was soft. "How's that for straightforward?"
EPISODE TWELVE: ONE LOVE SONG CAN'T CONVEY HOW I FEEL FOR YOU, SO HERE'S TWENTY—
SUNWOO imagined that he looked as cartoonish as any man in love could. There had to be hearts in eyes, hearts around his head, hearts on a glittery pink trail that carried him everywhere he went. He giggled to himself as he fished his house keys from his pocket and unlocked the front door to let himself in.
"Oh my god. We've properly lost him."
With a loud, war-like AHHH!, Sunwoo yelped and nearly dropped his groceries, struggling to hold the bags to his chest as he pressed himself against the back of the front door. His apartment filled with high-pitched cackles of delight.
Though his heart was going through about a million cartwheels a second, he managed to force the fear from his eyes as embarrassment flooded his system. He flared his nostrils, frowning and tipping his head against the door. "I hate you guys!"
"You should hate Eric for giving JC!Yn your apartment key," Changmin wheezed, slapping his hands together and rolling around on the living room carpet as he pointed and laughed at Sunwoo's absolute misery. "You should've seen your face!"
Chanhee was on the couch with his legs curled up into his chest as he had his phone out, recording the entire thing. "This one's going in the drunk Sunwoo folder."
"Yah, I'm not even drunk!"
Chanhee shrugged. "It's become your general meme folder now. We should probably rename it."
Sunwoo whipped his head toward JC!Yn, who was seated on the opposite end of the couch with an amused smile on her face. "Noona! Are you just gonna let them bully me like this?"
Her smile widened. "Sorry, Sunwoo, but we didn't think you would miss us completely when you came in."
He let out a loud groan, fragging himself over to the kitchen so he could set the grocery bags on the counter and begin to unload them. "What're you guys doing here anyways? Isn't it Saturday morning? Where's Kei?" He asked, unloading a carton of juice from the bag and slotting it into the fridge.
Kei was JC!Yn's roommate, and the two girls always went on a grocery shopping date every Saturday morning with Changmin and Chanhee. They often made Changmin drive since he had the biggest car, and grocery shopping was an exclusive event that only the four of them were allowed to partake in. Eric, Sunwoo, and even Jacob had expressed distaste at that elitism. One of these days, they were bound to let someone else join… right?
But regardless, that always meant that Saturday mornings were occupied for them. So why were three-quarters of the group currently invading Sunwoo's apartment?
Changmin sat up from his place on the floor and fixed Sunwoo with a grin that made him nervous. "We dropped her off at their place, and we did go shopping this morning, but you'll never guess the curious thing we witnessed while we were there." His giggles sent a doom-like shiver down Sunwoo's spine.
Then it clicked.
Sunwoo abruptly stopped taking dried noodle packages out of the grocery bag. "You're kidding."
A snort from Chanhee. "Oh, you wish."
Sunwoo bashed his head against his sweater-covered palms. "No."
"Yes!" Changmin shrieked.
"I didn't know you guys went to that supermarket!" Sunwoo wailed, throwing his head back toward the ceiling. "You guys saw us?"
JC!Yn rested her chin against her arm as she leaned over the back of the couch to face him. "We heard you, too. I'm glad you decided to own up to your chicken-ness. See? Wasn't so scary after all."
Well, he couldn't exactly agree with that. But he also couldn't disagree with it. He'd been so scared he was about to lose your friendship then for being so insecure for no reason. A simple clarifying question could have saved the both of you so much strife. But the conversation also reaped rewards: your mutual confessions.
He sulked and didn't say anything.
"It was cute though, Sunwoo-ah," said Chanhee with a teasing lilt to his smile.
"And also," Changmin cut in, "what do you mean 'so Changmin was right? That's crazy?!'"
Sunwoo snorted. "Now that, I have nothing to say to."
"So what's the deal now?" JC!Yn asked. "Are you two dating now or…?"
Oh. Another long pause, then— "Oh my god, you didn't ask her out?"
"Hey! Listen!" Sunwoo yelled in an attempt to defend himself.
"We're listening." Chanhee folded his arms over his chest with a less than impressed look on his face. He scoffed. "I can't believe you pull."
"Shut up!"
"He hasn't even asked her out yet—how can he pull?" Changmin quipped back with frenzied gesticulations.
Sunwoo groaned as he flopped over the counter. He couldn't believe he was having such a good morning, and now he was being berated once more for his stupidity. How could he not ask you out? It was right there! The opportunity had presented itself a multitude of times, and yet, why was he still here, dateless?
Then there came the thought of how to go about this. There was a part of him who thought that just asking you was probably fine. But the other part remembered how much he liked you—so texting was simply not an option. It had to have some pizzazz, a bit of oomph, to it.
"We can see the gears turning in your head, Sunwoo," said JC!Yn. "What's on your mind, bub?"
Sunwoo looked up from where he had smattered himself onto the kitchen counter like a pancake. "I have no rizz."
Chanhee coughed. "Well, that's not news."
Sunwoo sent him a scowl. "How should I ask her out? I kind of want it to be special, you know?"
"Hmm." JC!Yn pursed her lips, tapping her chin in thought. "The other day, I was talking to Sangyeon about music or something or other, and he showed me the playlist he'd made his girlfriend—"
"His fake girlfriend," Changmin corrected with a little smirk.
She rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure Lee Sangyeon is not sad enough to make fake playlists for his fake girlfriend." It was a known inside joke amongst the friend group that Sangyeon had a "secret girlfriend" stashed away somewhere. A few of them liked to joke that she either didn't actually exist or that he kept her locked in his laundry machine or something. Mostly, though, they just wanted to know if he actually was single or not. What was the point of keeping her a secret anyway?
The slight change in victim brought Sunwoo's mood up. "What about the playlist, noona?"
She blinked, turning her attention back to her original train of thought. "Oh, right. What if you made her one of those cute, romantic playlists?"
The four of them exchanged glances with one another. It was a silent form of communication, one that had one uniform thought running through the wire.
— ✶
You'd received a text from Sunwoo about thirty minutes ago asking if he could stop by your apartment to drop off something of yours. Apparently, in the madness of the checkout aisle at the grocery store, he had accidentally "stolen" one of your cans of chicken noodle soup.
You hadn't bought chicken noodle soup though.
This was why you now anxiously awaited his arrival for the real reason he wanted to stop by. You had literally just seen him about an hour or two ago, but you'd be lying if you said you were happy at the prospect of seeing him again so soon. Your cheek still seared from his kiss.
As if he could read your thoughts, you heard a loud series of knocks at the door.
"Coming!" You called, hustling over from your living space area and over to the door.
After peeking through the peephole, you definitely saw Sunwoo, but what he was holding was nowhere near the likeness of a can of chicken noodle soup.
In a hurry, you ripped the door open, lips parted at the bundle of bright colored blooms in his hands. Sunflowers and carnations and lilies and roses—
He peered out sheepishly from behind the bouquet with his other hand occupied by his open phone. "Hi," he peeped.
"Hey," you exhaled, a grin fighting its way onto your face.
"If I made you a playlist, would you go out with me?"
You blinked, heartbeat rocketing into high gear. "Sunwoo," you started with a disbelieving laugh, "you don't have to—"
His thumb lowered onto a button on his phone. "Whoopsies, already did it."
Right on cue, you heard your phone buzz from your pocket. Curious, you withdrew it and opened the text message from him with a link to a Spotify playlist entitled: "One love song can't convey how I feel for you, so here's twenty."
You could have melted into a puddle of ooey-gooey goodness. "Sunwoo," you lamented, smiling way too wide now.
He beamed back at you. "What do you say?"
You shook your head, throwing your arms around him as he laughed and hugged you back. "You're so cute. Yes, I'll go out with you."
He gave you a little, warm squeeze. "Oh, thank god. I thought I was gonna die from anticipation."
You laughed and smiled into his shoulder. When you pulled away, your hand gently reached for the side of his face. "What if I kissed you right now?"
His eyes widened a smidge. "What if you wha--"
You cut him off and pressed your lips to his briefly, then pulled back.
"Wait, wait. Come back here," he murmured, chasing after you and crushing his mouth against yours. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect. The feel of his lips, the smell of his cologne, the firmness of his shoulders beneath your grip and the perfect pressure as you both sealed the deal with a kiss.
The two of you pulled away at the same time with labored breaths, foreheads meshed together as you caught your breath.
"You're not gonna turn this into a podcast episode, are you?" He asked, voice low and raspy, yet laced in a playful tonic.
You teased him right back. "As long as it doesn't end poorly."
He chuckled, and you could feel the vibrations of his laugh against your lips. "Then I guess I'll just have to make it the best date ever."
"Don't worry," you said with a cheeky hand on his chest, "I believe in you."
With a laugh, he grazed his lips over yours again. "Thanks, superstar."
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a/n: hihi!! thanks so much for reading <3 if you enjoyed, i would deeply appreciate a comment, reblog, or an ask to tell me what u thought about it! much love, onto kevin's !!
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mannequinreligi0n · 1 month ago
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I'm new to making requests so I'm sorry if i do it wrong 😓
Could I request a Vergil x Reader enemies to lovers smut? Kind of like hate sex but halfway through they realize they like eachother? Maybe with some breeding too
I'm in a Vergil phase right now and I love the way you write him 💕
Sidetracked
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you and vergil release some tension while on a mission / enemies to lovers trope
pairing: vergil x gn!reader
wc: 870
warnings: nsfw! - typical smut, no extreme warnings
author’s note: YES THANK YOU FOR THE ASK !I LOVED THIS ! kept this somewhat short and more of a vergil pov . there’s a lack of breeding, but i pinky promise i’ll make it up to you when i get around to finishing my vergil mating fic. enjoy !!
links: ao3
Dirty fingernails dig into the flesh of your hips, thumbs hooked into your hip-bones with cosmic strength. Vergil had you lifted in his arms against the cavern wall, demon carcasses still bleeding out and twitching some feet away. This was happening far too frequently: Dante forcing Vergil to take you on missions to gain experience, you pestering him the entire time by simply breathing in his direction, and Vergil stuffing himself into you as a form of punishment. But was it really a punishment, if you both harmonized each other’s names with every orgasm?
“You petulant, ignorant, disgusting insect,” Vergil snarls in your ear, face flushed and dripping sweat. “Your entire life is a waste, and spending any moment of it with you is worse than damnation.”
”Disgusting?” You frown up at him, hands gripping his coat like reigns. “You don’t really mea- MMPPH! HHMMPPPHH!!”
Vergil moves a hand to clamp it over your mouth roughly, your head rattling against the cave wall from the impact. He couldn’t take the incessant whining, moaning, complaining - it was driving him to the brink of insanity. Weeks and weeks of ‘Vergil, I’m tired’, or ‘this sucks, can we go home?’, or his least favorite: ‘I don’t even know why you’re here’. He had half a mind to drag you back to the agency and dump you back onto Dante, washing his hands of you. But there was a major downside to that that outweighed all the pros of ridding himself of you.
He would have to put an end to these satiating quickies.
No more delightful moans, no more watching you waddle back onto the battlefield, no more seeing that angelic smile shine up at him in the final seconds of your release. Despite himself, he often looked forward to it every week - a single moment of joy in his desolate world. And he knew, deep down, you did too, often finding new ways to ‘torture’ him just so he’ll pin you beneath him. Vergil convinced himself that it was purely for logical, beneficial reasons. He always performed better on the field after gushing into you. Something about the adrenaline, the endorphins, made his demon blood go crazy. He often found himself swinging Yamato with more precision, or dodging attacks with impeccable reaction times. How could he give up something that made him a better fighter? A better hunter?
No. He needed to put an end to this. The line between a ‘quick fuck’ and a ‘meaningful connection’ was getting too blurry for his liking. This was the last time, no more after this. He was a seasoned warrior, one that could fight just as well without you. This had to stop. It must-
“Don’t stop. God, pl-please don’t stop.”
Vergil hadn’t noticed his hand over your mouth fall to cradle your head, too lost in his thoughts. The sound of your wanton begging lobotomizes his brain, him gazing down at you dumbly with lust. All he could focus on now was how pretty you looked taking him, head drooping back and eyelashings kissing your cheeks. His eyes fall to his hips moving like an automaton, snapping in and out your impossibly warm walls. The sight alone is heaven - he figures people die to achieve this level of nirvana, and yet, he has it right in his fingers.
Damn it, he can’t put an end to this.
Swallowing his pride, Vergil relents to his desires and speeds up, the primitive sounds of fluids and skin-on-skin bouncing around the cave like an echo-chamber. His hand on your hip tightens, nails forming crescents on the skin as he runts his cock into you, pelvic bones slamming together. Vergil thinks you’ve already come by the way you’re squirming under him - he feels a little bad for not noticing earlier, too consumed in his own world to hear your moans clearly. He doesn’t care enough to ask though, the sirens blaring in his body that he’s about to come himself. With one, two, three more pumps, Vergil growls and bites down on his lip, pulling out just in time to cum over your sex rather than in it. The head of his cock twitches as white spurts out of it, ropes making a Pollock on your skin. WIth a shuddering breath, he slowly lowers your legs back to the ground, allowing you to hold his arms as you steady your shaking legs.
“…Are you alright?”
You answer with a small nod, still trying to regulate your breathing. You squat down and gather your pants, pulling them back on. “Yeah, m’good.”
”Good, good,” Vergil returns your nod and zips up his fly, averting his eyes from you. There was a voice in the back of his mind pleading with him to say more, to show you more of his human side. He wanted to, gods be damned, he really wanted to. But not now, not like this. Instead, he kneels down and scoops your weapon off the cave floor, wiping the blade clean with the end of his coat. He offers it back to you with an imperceivable smile, eyes meeting yours for a heartbeat. “Let us continue on. There are four more caverns to clear.”
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joost-klein-imagines · 6 months ago
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Yay more Joost!
Could I request Joost x Slightly older reader pls? Like only 2-4 years older and they do make jokes about it with their friends but reader gets a little insecure about it sometimes?
Alternatively maybe just some headcanons?
Hey, it's my first request, thank you so much! <3 I really had fun with writing it, maybe because I'm actually older than Joost so I can relate... Idk if it's exactly what you wanted to read, but I hope you'll like it!
The loud, electronic music filled the whole bar. The place was packed with noisy people dancing or drinking their drinks. You, Joost and your friends were sitting in a booth, chatting and sipping the drinks. You had fun in the beginning while you danced with Joost, but then you got tired so you sat down to rest. That moment was already getting late and you would rather be at home, cuddling under the warm blanket and watching comfort shows. You were slightly older than Joost, turned thirty some time ago. You often joked about that, but deep down you had a lot of insecurities. You noticed that your body and your mind was changing with the passing time and you couldn’t help it. 
“Can we go home?” You leaned towards Joost and asked him a question.
“Already?,” he asked back and you could see a disappointment in his eyes. You knew he would like to stay and party a little bit longer, but you felt completely exhausted. 
“No, stay longer!,” your friends also demanded. 
“You know what’s like…The age is just a number, unless you’re thirty and you start feeling those hangovers,” you joked and everyone laughed. 
“Aww, it won’t be so bad, I’ll cure your hangover quickly with a good breakfast,” Joost assured. 
“You know that I eat ibuprofen for breakfast, right?,” you joked again. 
Your friends bursted into laughter one more time. You and Joost exchanged meaningful looks and he got a hint. 
“Okay, let’s go.” Joost took your hand. 
Once you said goodbye to your friends, you went out of the bar onto a dark, quiet street. You lived not so far away from that bar, so you both decided to take a short walk. You walked in silence, your arms wrapped around each other’s waists. Suddenly, Joost stopped and turned to you.
“Hey, what’s wrong, schat?,” he inquired with a care in his voice.
“Nothing.” You looked away, pouting. 
“Hey, you can tell me anything.” Joost cupped your face.
“Umm, it’s that…The age difference between us. We joke about that, but I know that some people behind our backs disapproves that you’re dating an older person,” you explained.
“Fuck those people,” Joost smiled. “Wine gets better with time and so do you. I’m happy that I can get older with you.” Joost wrapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed your forehead. 
You slightly casted a smile at him.
“It’s not only that…For example, tonight I saw you wanted to stay a little bit longer at the bar. I’m so sorry we had to leave because of me…”
“No problem, we can spend time at home in an interesting way, too.” Joost smirked. “My dirty thirty,” he added, whispering in a low voice in your ear. 
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urwhorecrux · 9 months ago
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hi! could you pls do hp boys headcanons for spending their birthday with them💗 thankss
⋆ ˚⁀➷ ₊˚⊹⋆ 𝗛𝗣 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗦 - 𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗜𝗥 𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗧𝗢𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥.
ft. harry potter, ron weasley, cedric diggory, neville longbottom, & draco malfoy.
warnings. fluff, mentions of death?
a/n. these r short but rn im working on an actual fic :o
masterlist. / my prefrences. / ask me something <3
— 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑
growing up he didn't get many gifts and overall the whole day was never about him, so this day wasn't always his favorite until he got to hogwarts. even then- he still didn't see the importance of it.
over the summer he stayed with the weasley's, you were able to spend much more time with him there as molly insisted you were always welcomed.
you woke next to him, softly running your fingers through his mess of fluffy hair. "Happy birthday love" you smiled, pressing a soft kiss against his lips as his eyes softly locked with yours.
you woke him up with breakfast in bed, along with leaving small little gifts everywhere he went. at one point he almost insisted you're gifts were to much for him, but you knew it was your day to spoil him and make him feel truly special.
— 𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘
though it landed on a school day, you still managed to shift your attention completely toward him. you spent the morning alone together in the kitchens, having a private breakfast made by the elves.
you walked happily together to all your classes, spending as much time as possible between classes, and at lunch settling down together by the black lake.
you convinced fred and george to set up a small common room party after school along with a towered cake made by the elves.
— 𝐂𝐄𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘
you wake him with breakfast in bed, something simple yet so meaningful to him. you both spend the day in bed, nuzzling into each other's necks as you whisper little loving words.
later through the day, you take him through the city, where you spend the day in the park watching everything around you, and later in the night a dinner in downtown.
— 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘
though you spent the day at his manor around his family, it was still one of the best things you could ever ask for. he loved seeing you over the breaks and loved it even more when you visited him.
you surprised him with a small silver locket, one with his favorite picture of you both inside.
— 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐌
you both agreed to meet somewhere where you'd find peaceful, yet not to crowded. with that, you both agreed to meet at a small town, which was surrounded with gardens and small cafes.
throughout the day you held each other closely while roaming through the town, imagining an ideal life for the two of you here.
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stormyelliotwritez · 4 months ago
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Could you write a hobie x male spider man reader who got kicked out, and since Hobie and them were friends before, Hobie offered to let Y/N stay at his flat, which is how Y/N is able to steal all of Hobie’s clothes, and really anything that fits him..
If u could pls and tyy!!
YES I CAN AND I DID (i'm not quite sure if it's exactly what you wanted so feel free to send in another request to get more of what you wanted)
FICLET UNDER CUT
It had been a normal day, and everything was going good. Then it all went downhill. Y/N’s parents kicked him out. All he was able to grab was his suit and a backpack before they threw him out with nowhere to go, well he had one place to go.
So that’s why he’s now on Hobie’s front doorstep with his suit in one hand, backpack in the other and his watch flat.
Hobie opened the door and stared at him. He raised his eyebrow and opened the door wider. Y/N walked inside and dropped his bag and suit on the floor.
“What happened, luv?” Hobie asked quietly as he closed the door.
He ushered Y/N into the dining room and sat him down on a chair and then sat on the table. He took the other boy’s hands in his and smiled softly.
“Luv, you gotta tell me what happened.”
Y/N glanced down at the ground and then back up at Hobie. He smiled awkwardly.
“My parents,” he looked back down at the floor, “they kicked me out.”
Hobie’s eyes softened, and he traced circles on Y/N’s wrists. “So, you’ve got nowhere else to go?”
Y/N nodded as he looked back up at Hobie. “I used up my watch’s energy to get here.”
Hobie nodded before speaking again. “The backpack and suits all you got?”
Y/N nodded. Hobie stood up and wandered over to his bright blue couch and grabbed a hoodie. He turned around and threw it at his friend.
“You can stay here but London’s cold, you muppet,” he said affectionately.
Y/N caught it and smiled. “Thanks, punk.”
A few days later, Hobie was looking around his apartment for his leather jacket. He looked in his wardrobe where it should have been and then he dug through the dirty washing. He threw blankets off the couch and pillows all over the apartment. He searched through the whole apartment before hearing the front door open. He slid to the front and his jaw dropped.
Y/N was wearing his jacket.
He burst out laughing and leaned against the wall. He slid down it and couldn’t even talk. Y/N walked up to him and leaned over as he placed the grocery bag on the floor. He stared at Hobie for a moment before cracking a smile.
“What’s so funny?” Y/N asked curiously.
Hobie sat up straighter and tried to stop laughing. It didn’t work.
“You’re wearing my jacket,” he sputtered through laughter.
Y/N looked down at the jacket and raised an eyebrow. “You’re weird, Hobie,” he chuckled.
Hobie smiled. “So are you, muppet.”
Hobie stood up and helped Y/N take the bags into the kitchen. He pulled out ingredients for dinner and got started. They had dinner and shared meaningful glances and joked about Y/N stealing all his clothes.
A few weeks later, Hobie was rushing around to get ready for a gig. He ran around the house just like a few weeks before and looked in all the usual places. He checked the wardrobe for his vest and didn’t find it. He checked the pile on the chair for his jeans, but they weren’t there. He checked the laundry basket for one of his many shirts and most of them were there but then he remembered why they were. Ew.
He thought to try and find his boots when he heard stomping. He sighed and slid to Y/N’s bedroom or well the spare room he had that had turned into Y/N’s bedroom. He opened the door and was bombarded with loud rock music and the bright colourful lights he’d stolen for Y/N.
“Muppet?” he chuckled as he leaned in the doorway and crossed his arms.
Y/N turned around, and they were in his full gig get up. He smiled awkwardly at Hobie.
“Hi. Do you have a gig?” He asked nervously.
“Yeah, get changed. You said you’d come actually,” Hobie laughed.
Y/N’s eyes widened, and he slammed the door shut. He got undressed in record time and opened the door. He shoved Hobie’s clothes into his arms. He then closed it again and got dressed into his own clothes. He then opened the door again and found Hobie at the front door.
“Let’s go,” he smiled.
Hobie smiled back and picked up his guitar case.
“Yeah, let’s go, muppet.”
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theragethatisdesire · 1 year ago
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hello, me again 🙋‍♀️ not an anon but here to bother you on your fight 🥰
can you tell me what you think the boys would be like if they were jealous? any and all boys i just wanna hear ur thoughts
TIFF I DRAFTED THIS WHOLE THING OUT ON THE PLANE ON MY POS PHONE AND THEN IT NEVER POSTED. i literally JUST noticed and i am so frustrated, i'm sorry i literally didn't even realize!! but i never tire of talking about our boys so pls enjoy <3333
nsfw below the cut; jean, eren, and levi included
Eren
so eren to me is sort of a cocky little shit, but he's also a brat
if you're talking to a guy in the bar a little too much, eren's 100% charging right up to interrupt the conversation, throw his arm around your shoulders, figure out exactly what's going on here
but honestly? i think eren knows how much you love him and doesn't worry about you being attracted to others, he's just demanding when it comes to your attention
what makes him really jealous is when you start reading game of thrones alongside armin, and while eren's not unfamiliar with the premise of the books, he never could have imagined how intricate they are
intricate enough for you to be glued to your novel and your phone intermittently, surfacing from the pages with a squeal "oh my god i HAVE to text armin!" "armin's going to freak out!"
before he knows it, he's coming home to find you and armin, annotated novels spread on the coffee table, debating character arcs and laughing over funny moments
it confuses him at first. you love him, and he loves that you're friends with his friends, would never try to deny you a meaningful friendship, he knows that's all it is
eren's not a reader. too time consuming, too slow. but he wants to make your eyes light up like that, wants to hear you ramble on and on about your theories
he tries to get you into his story-based video games, but all he gets is a polite level of interest
when you finally confront him about acting like a fucking weirdo every time armin gets brought up, eren confesses, and it breaks your heart
"i mean, i know i'm not as smart as you or armin, but we could find something like that to do together, right? you just seem so into it..."
when you show him the tv show, eren's immediately hooked, and you stay up together for weeks on end binging it, eren watching you explain the differences between book and show with hearts in his eyes <333
Jean
jean is an egotistical maniac, you know it, he knows it
as your boyfriend, jean's never going to be one to throw a fit over the attention you get in the bar, in fact, he encourages it
it gets him off knowing that you're the girl everyone wants, that no one can take their eyes off of, and that you're going to go home with him and beg for him to fuck you
but if you're not his girlfriend? completely different story
when his roommate, eren, brings home his new girlfriend, jean is shocked
you're so...sweet. polite, beautiful, funny. what are you doing with eren? and not him?
jean has a case of the roommates-hot-girlfriend-itis, and he's got it bad
before he knows it, he's setting his alarm early, padding out into the kitchen where he knows you'll be making your coffee before work while eren snores in the other room
he's not shy about it either, openly flirting with you, teasing you about your messy hair, your tiny sleep shorts
he loves the way you blush when he says "you cold or something?", glancing meaningfully at your peaked nipples showing through your tank top
but you never falter, your eyes are only for eren. it drives jean insane.
he's going to the gym every day now, trying to work off this excess anger trying to get bigger and stronger so you can't help but notice him
he'd never admit it, but he listens in on you and eren late at night, imagining your breathy moans are for him
when he finds a pair of your panties in the dryer, he pockets them, treasures them
and when he finds you at a coffee shop in tears, a breakup text from eren on your phone? he has to hide his grin
jean may be a bad friend, but he'll make a great rebound
Levi
you're levi's, but he knows you're not supposed to be
he's still your captain, your immediate superior, and while that's exceedingly hot in the sheets, it's stifling outside the walls of your bedroom
he can't help but glance at you longingly across the cafeteria, watch your nose scrunch in that cute way it does when you laugh and when you cum
and when you brush a hand absentmindedly against miche's? bat your eyes up at hange, make them blush? levi knows you're doing it on purpose
he knows you well enough to know you can't help but antagonize him
he knows you belong to him, and you know you belong to him, but they can't know, and that's the problem. levi can't claim you in public, so he has to overcompensate when you finally sneak into his quarters at the end of the day, twiddling your fingers in anticipation
"can't believe you," he huffs, bending you over his desk, "thought i trained you better than that"
he did, you both know it, but you're a greedy, insatiable little thing, and you're good at riling levi up to get what you want
"don't know what you're-- ah! what you're talking about" you lie, gasping when he lands a sharp smack to your clit
"of course you do, you fucking brat," levi's not feeling as playful as you were earlier today, the hot lick of envy at the top of his throat "making those fuck me eyes at erwin earlier? you wanted me to see you, didn't you? whoring yourself out like you're not going to be begging me to let you cum later?"
your response is muffled by your panties in your mouth
"no excuses. beg all you want, but the only way this cunt-- my cunt-- is cumming tonight is if you admit it. admit you're mine, admit you can't get off with anyone else. you're mine."
and oh, do you cave. you're babbling apologies into the fabric in no time, tears streaming down your face
and once you're both shaking and spent, levi pulls you into his arms, cuddles you against his chest
he can't claim you in public, not as things stand with you on his squad, but for now, having you curled against him will have to be enough
THIS WAS SUCH A BLAST thanks for submitting tiff all my love <3
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moronkombat · 1 year ago
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i can’t remember if I’ve sent this ask already but geras nsfw alphabet pls 🫣
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Aftercare is incredibly important to Geras. He is a large man and he makes sure that you are alright an not too bruised from your time together. He will often dote on his partner during aftercare
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Geras' favorite part on himself would have to be his chest. If you were to ask him why, he wouldn't give a precise answer. He merely admires its prowess and how warm it becomes when his partner touches it
Geras finds all of his partner attractive so he would be unable to pick and would insist that all of you is a perfection crafted by the gods
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Geras has no preference of where he finishes. He is happy with being able to be intimate with you and is happy that you have welcomed him into your life
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
At times, Geras wishes someone would take control of him. He does not wish to be submissive but to be able to marvel at his partner's beauty and grace while they dominate him
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Geras is experienced in the sense he has endless knowledge of all things and that includes sex. He puts that knowledge to good use
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Geras' favorite position is cowgirl or any position where his partner is on top. He prefers these because he prefers to watch and admire his partner while having sex
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Geras takes intimacy seriously and is never goofy during sex. He would find it disrespectful to his partner and so he is always very serious with his romantic intentions
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Geras is almost completely hairless except for his eyebrows. His body is smooth and clean shaven naturally so he has never really thought it looking any other way
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Geras is exceptionally romantic during intimacy. It is very important for him to express his love for his partner through actions and words
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
It is actually a very rare occurrence. He does not masturbate at all really, preferring to experience the urge of sex with his partner rather than indulge himself
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Body Worship- Geras will praise and honor his partner's body. You are perfection in human form and he will tell you that again and again until his words run dry
Overstimulation- Geras enjoys overstimulating his partner because, for him, he can pour all his love out for you. He will continue to pleasure his partner because it’s exciting and he wants you to feel pleasure over and over again
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Under the stars and during the night. He finds it much more symbolic and meaningful when making love to you under the cover of night that is so beautifully lit by the moon and stars
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Geras is turned on by his partner's beauty and appearance. You are simply gorgeous and when he looks upon you, he cannot help but feel desire
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Deception and cruelty. A partner who carries these traits will not be able to remain in Geras' arms for long as he finds these traits to be unattractive
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Geras' preference for oral is definitely giving it. He relishes in pleasuring you and making you feel completely satisfied. The focus is on your pleasure and release
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Slow and sensual. An evening with Geras is one of love making and passionate and he doesn't want it to be rushed at all
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not a big fan of quickies and does not often partake in them. He feels it doesn't give him enough time to truly explore and feel his partner
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Geras will experiment with his lover to an extent but will avoid engaging in activates related to bringing his partner pain
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Geras can go multiple rounds in one day and prefers to do that. He wants his partner fully loved and sated
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Does not own any toys but would be open to using them in the bedroom should his partner ask. It may even add to the excitement of sex after all
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Geras is fair with you as his focus is on your pleasure, not his. If you are teased then you are not being pleased and that simply will not do at all
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Relatively quiet safe for words of praise and encouragement. That he is very vocal with
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
During sex Geras will sometimes spontaneously bring you to places all over the world. It is sudden and unexpected but magically to see the sky moving to quickly and the stars whirling together
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Geras is large and in charge. He recognizes is rather large size in both stature and intimate length. He isn't boastful or proud about it but is cautious as to not hurt you
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Geras' sex drive is relatively moderate. Although he desires his partner, he does not always act upon those desires. Instead he will wait for another time to express them
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Rarely falls asleep after sex if at all. His partner is often very spent after sex and so Geras cradles them until the dawn and the day starts anew
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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months ago
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pls yell about bradnate to help propagandize @antimonyandthyme thank u
BRADNATE!!!!!!! What couldn't I say about bradnate???? They're probably one of my only eternal otps, like I haven't watched GK in 4 years but I'll think about bradnate and still get a warm and fuzzy feeling in my chest. They have some of the most well written, high quality, meaningful fics I've ever read, like I'm ngl, they've literally affected my life in certain ways 😭
"I'm assured of this" x "Sir, your leadership is the only thing I have absolute confidence in." That mutual trust, and the way they can rely on each other, under such terrible circumstances, it's so!! And the dynamic of Brad, this incredibly independent, almost standoffish, shit-talking guy being able to trust and confide in the younger Nate because he respects and recognizes, the much more straightlaced, academic, Nate's leadership and that he's doing his best and is actually adept, especially compared to most of the higher leadership. They both trust that the other is working at full capacity and doing their best to look out for the other. Their relationship bridges the gap between the enlisted men and the COs, who have trouble trusting and respecting each other, and it's such an efficient, trusting partnership in the midst of the mess that is the invasion of Iraq.
Anyways, LOOK AT THEM GRRRRR
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Stark Sands is such a pretty boy it makes me insane, and Alex Skarsgard is so rugged in comparison, and imo subvert who you'd expect to be higher on the leadership totem pole. I love how efficient they both are, they are truly a power couple to me !!! And also as we've talked about, the blueprint of newer ships like ghostsoap. Bradnate walked so ghostsoap could run.....
Athy, please join us in this hell, thank you very much.
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anzynai · 4 months ago
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some twst tickle drabbles i wrote!!
sorry ive been inactive pls dont forget abt me 💔💔💔 i wanted to write more drabbles but there’s only three and considering they r drabbles, they r very short. pls enjoy anyway
also i wrote these three for friends mostly so ive had them for a while but just never posted. sorry😔🙏 *dies*
1. lee azul, ler floyd
“Floyd, no one else can cover your shift. You need to work it,” Azul groans, pinching the bridge between his eyes.
“I don’t want to. That’s booooring,” Floyd whines, leaning over Azul.
“Floyd, you said you— hey, w-wait!” Azul feels a poke to his side and jolts. His head whips toward the eel in shock. “F-floyd, stohohop this nohonsense..!”
“Nah, I’m good.” Floyd starts squeezing Azul’s sides, wrapping his arms around the housewarden.
“Stahahahap! J-jahade?!” Azul laughs, unable to help it, and he looks for Jade for assistance, who had been watching it all unfold the entire time.
Jade smirks sadistically and clicks his tongue. “Alas, even I cannot stop my brother when he’s like this. You’ll just have to.. wait until he’s bored.”
Until he’s bored? Floyd was as unpredictable as unpredicatable comes! Who knows when that would be?
“G-gah! Stohohop Flohohoyd!” Azul accidentally snorts around his next giggle when Floyd jabs at a particular sensitive spit and suddenly, he wants to die of shame.
“Awww,” Floyd cooes, unrelenting in his attack when Azul’s laughter becomes more intense, while Jade chuckles behind him.
“Shuhuhut uhuhup!”
2. lee epel, ler riddle
“h-hehehey!” riddle giggled, when epel peppered his face with kisses. the blush on his face was absolutely delightful and it just made epel want to kiss him more.
“you’re amazing..” epel mumbled against his face, twitching when the fingers around his waist tightened their grip. while distracted, riddle began to lightly tickle his sides, and he rolled back, causing the bed to creak.. “gahaha!”
“it’s about time i return the favor, shall i?” riddle said, voice smug and epel didn’t resist the laughter threatening to spill from his lips.
riddle started kissing his face— from his cheeks, to his parted lips, and his forehead. epel closed an eye, feeling tingly and a bit flustered.
“this ain’t fahahair!” he giggled, riddle’s fingers dancing along his hips and tummy.
“fair?” riddle chuckled, amused, as he planted a kiss on the corner of epel’s mouth, almost teasingly.
“nohoho, y-you’re tihihickling me!” epel cried, his hands uselessly pushing at riddle’s. riddle kissed the other corner of his mouth.
“and you look really..” a pause, then a kiss to epel’s lips, longer and more meaningful than the others. epel tried to kiss him back, but it was a bit difficult while laughing. “..lovely,” riddle finished, pulling away. with it, his fingers stopped tickling him, instead rubbing his sides in a more comforting manner.
“i love you,” epel smiled, when he caught the other’s lips again.
riddle smiled at him, pulling epel closer. “i love you too.”
3. lee cater, ler trey
“hnng!” cater squealed, feeling a finger run down his spine. he immediately straightened up, flinching. he whipped his head to glare at the culprit.
“trey, that was #NOTCOOL,” cater turned around, placing his hands on his hips. trey chuckled.
“my bad, i was just curious,” trey admitted.
“curious?” cater raised a brow at that.
“if you were ticklish. you always tense up when someone touches your back.” trey shrugged nonchalantly.
“i— what?!” cater gasped, his face heating up. he put a palm to his cheek, embarrassed. “you.. noticed that?”
“of course i did,” trey chuckled again, reaching to pinch at cater’s hips. cater jumped away, embarrassed.
“i’m not ticklish!” cater blubbered out, and trey looked at him, disbelieving until a smug grin appeared on his face.
“is that so?” trey asked, coming closer. “so you wouldn’t laugh if i did this?” more calculated this time, he lightly squeezed at cater’s sides and cater froze, biting his lip.
“n-no.. way..!” cater squeaked, resisting the urge to flinch and gasp until… “ah!”
“there it is,” trey said, amused. cater squeezed his eyes shut when trey started tickling him for real after he had giggled.
“nohoho! trehehey!” cater cried, shocked. never did he once think he would get tickled by trey, but.. well, it wasn’t so bad. plus, he thought to himself, he will definitely get him back!
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hwnglx · 1 year ago
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begging on my hands and knees for an enhypen version of the skz handling jealous tarot reading please 🥺🥺😩❤️😘😍🥰💕♥️💖💙💗💜💞💓💛🖤💚❣️😻🧡💘💝💟🤍🤎🫀❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹💌
enhypen when jealous
based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!
heeseung virgo venus
Tumblr media
queofp, 9ofw, pagofsw, 3ofp+sun, 4ofp
heeseung will feel let down, like you betrayed his trust and devotion to some extent. he sincerely cares and cherishes the relationship, so he won't like the negativity at all. but since he's an extremely observant and tactful person, he won't just act in the moment or presume things. he'll prefer to keep watch on the situation and carefully think his next actions through. when will he confront you about it, what exactly will he say, which emotion will he be willing to express without it coming off as too much. (the virgo energy is big for him) he'll prefer staying rational and not get all upset or guilt trip you when asking you about the situation.
heeseung is a grounded lover who's not afraid of obstacles, since he thinks you two can solve anything by working on hardships together. he believes stability and closeness, especially in romantic connections, comes from discussing and communicating your thoughts in an unbiased and calm manner. he put so much effort into the relationship, that he wouldn't ruin all the hard work for some silly moment of jealousy that could be sorted by simply talking it out.
jay taurus venus
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3ofw, knofprx, devil, char+9ofsw, knofsw
yeah, jay is very likely to lose his composure. although first, he'll try his best to approach the situation with patience and wait it out, in the end he'll fail pretty quickly. we all know this man gets possessive. (tbh, don't even see an opportunity for you to be left without him if you ever go out together. he'll stay with you constantly. probably wait for you outside the restroom) so once he sees you with someone else, most reason in him will go out the door and all he'll wanna do is quickly seperate you two. you'll see him confronting the other party in a very harsh and direct manner. especially verbally in a "how do you dare flirt with my girl/boy like that. get the f*ck away from her/him." type of way. he will hate everything about that sight and a lot of that anger will be accompanied by inner hurt. it'll stress him out a lot, so he'll just not be himself in that moment.
but, i can also see him blaming himself for getting so worked up over his jealous ways later, hating how he let this "bad habit" get the better of him. he'll probably calmly apologize to you after, and ask you whether you're okay. he didn't mean to get so irritated, and knows he can be too much sometimes.
jake scorpio venus
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7ofsw, 3ofsw, devil, star, kingofsw&4ofw, hermitrx
although jake is definitely the type to easily get jealous as well, i can actually primarily see a lot of hurt for him here. he won't be overly confrontational over it (so much of his chart is just feeling feeling feeling but not much action), but instead remember it forever. i'm getting a lot of internalized pain here. he'll always hold on to that grudge, it'll remain as a pretty deep scar. like this man is sensitive. but he is equally as uncomfortable about openly displaying that emotional nature of his. he'll feel betrayed, like this relationship is so deep and meaningful to him.. how could you just do that to him?
he'll express that hurt by just turning stonecold, refusing to reunite with you for a few days, to process his emotions. he'll withdraw from you, not let you access him. his libra mars (i believe he's a libra rising too) just makes him awful at confrontation and blaming people for things. all the "payback" will be done indirectly, whether that's by just ignoring you, or even making you jealous in return. he'll probably flirt with your friend and make sure you find out or something. a lot of planning and strategies. he can be so vengeful, he'll love the thought of you feeling that same pain you gave him, and it'll all just be pretty dramatic and tiresome. i suggest not making scorpio stelliums jealous 👍🏻
sunghoon scorpio venus
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9ofp, kingofc&8ofp, 5ofp, aceofc+knofsw, 3ofsw&devil
it's interesting, because everytime i read for sunghoon as a bf, it comes out very all or nothing. in general, he is a very tolerant and collected lover. meaning he won't feel extremely upset right away and make a whole scene. however, if the situation continues evolving and ends up going on for a little too long for his liking, he can lose grip of that mature and controlled composure, and let his feelings take over his actions.
i got the knight of swords for him, just like i did for jay, meaning he'll be very direct and straightforward in expressing his distate. he won't hide it. he can get extremely stern, very cut-throat and scary. though he could raise his voice sometimes, i don't see him screaming a lot. but, he'll definitely intimidate whoever had the guts to go to you by his gaze alone, and be very clear on how he'll make that person's life hell if they ever dare to approach you again. or, let you know he's okay with giving you your space, but don't you ever dare deceive him. "you exactly know i hate when you go out with that annoying guy. stop playing with me. do you think i'm stupid?" kinda thing.
i can see a huge shift in him once he gets affected negatively in romantic relationships, and people will be surprised to see his attitude turn so daunting. the jealousy will hurt him deep down, but he'll push through the burning sensation and just make sure you're by his side, away from that person.
sunoo gemini venus
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4ofwrx&6ofwrx, queofw, 3ofsw+2ofc, 7ofsw, 3ofc&5ofsw
on the outside, sunoo will be very "oh, guess you weren't worthy of me." or "your loss, not mine." where he'll basically just put on this unbothered and "oh well." kind of attitude and shrug it off. (sorry for all the quotes here lmao it's just very sunoo) he is aware that he's a very desirable person and there's many others wanting to be with him. so, he knows he could just get with some other person, and very much be fine in that regard.
however, the three of swords with the two of cups, shows me deep down, he's actually someone who is much more in need of emotionally intimate relationships, than he likes to admit. in reality, it will cause him to feel quite disappointed. he will feel like he can't trust anyone, and you were just another person who let him down. since he usually can take a while to truly let people into his heart, rather than just making friends superficially, it'll cause him to feel like his doubts were validated. he wishes he could say he wouldn't have expected it from you, but somehow he kinda did. he'll put on an unfazed and cheerful mask. but beyond that, he'll feel pretty hopeless and defeated, about you just hurting him that carelessly.
jungwon aries venus
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world, devil&7ofp, just, aceofc, 8ofw, 3ofsw&8ofsw, pageofc
jungwon will feel frustrated. he will have this conflict inside him, between feeling legitimately jealous, like we're talking the devil.. ego bruised, feeling trapped and tempted to just let his frustration out. while at the same time wanting to remain reasonable and calm. i do see him doing a good job at holding back though, and patiently waiting out the situation.
he'll make a genuine effort to communicate with you (he just needs to let his frustration out somehow) and sincerely try to stay sweet, and understanding. i do however, also see him feeling pretty hurt by whatever he saw (three of swords again), but him just really hating the fact that he was emotionally affected. he'll most likely stay collected and composed on the outside, but will struggle with the jealousy and his hurt ego deep inside. probably think about it at night while you're sleeping or something. the page of cups in the end is pretty sweet, as it points to him making romantic offers of some kind, to make up for the negativity and distract you both. maybe take you out on an extra beautiful and fun date to not only make things good between you two, but also ease the annoying pain he felt without wanting to.
as i stated before, i adore riki, but including a minor in readings with romantic undertones just doesn't seem right to me. pls be respectful of that.. thank you for reading 🤍
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