#pls universe make me strong enough to complete them
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the-original-skipps · 28 days ago
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should I open my ask box? đŸ€”
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shjiyemis · 2 years ago
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Warning!!! Gonna mention topics like racism and transphobia, and internalized versions of them. Heavy subjects that we know are going on with these characters are not being ignored just not going into them fully!!!
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Ok guys get ready for trans guy Bro Strider concept with a side of Dirk and Dave, it is a novel so look out LOL
This is an interpretation and concept I made up for fun with my headcanons, a theory even. So don't put words in my mouth. None of this canon nor am I saying it is. (but it's definitely canon in this head of mine, leave me be GJVFHCHF)
This is not me making excuses for Bro either, I am simply giving him a backstory and more layers.
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I headcanon Bro Strider as a trans guy (bc I headcanon Dirk as trans-masc), but like a trans guy who's lives in the down-low about being gay but completely hides that he's trans. I imagine he strayed away from any family he had before transitioning and was like, never gonna go back lol. Im pretty sure Bro was like a young adult around the 70s or 80s too so like we all know what was going on around those times tbh, plus the general prejudice that happened during those times (and to this day) can definitely imagine him dissociating from that in general.
IT ALSO ADDS ON BC I HEADCANON HIM AS BLACK SO LIKE black trans gay guy, pls that'd be a monstrosity of trauma whether it was indirect OR direct. đŸ˜±đŸ˜±đŸ˜±
My whole idea is that Bro was dissociating from most of that, probably met Mom Lalonde at some point in the past (like not romantically or sexually or anything of the sort). He's always been smart and a strong guy and able to work around shit but I think later on he actually starts becoming successful in the p0rn industry. Kind of where he was at his high but yeah, after he started gaining such popularity and success during that time is where Dave comes into the picture.
Uses training that he's seen in anime (stupid idiot) and as well as like Lil Cal guidance,,, let's not forget that puppet possessed in the beta universe... (And honestly I wouldn't be surprised if Bro Strider had an already general idea of extreme physical training before hand btw) Also like.... Bro is an asshole btw,,,,, A HUGE ONE!!! empathy is low, just cares about solutions but not really process, as long as it gets good results it doesn't matter.
Generally a shitty guy who won't give most people the time of day, unless he's getting something out of it.
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I skipped a lot of things that are like more important to Homestuck bc I'm mostly talking about Broooo rnnnn so if you were like "there's stuff missing" it's bc I skipped it GJCGJVGVJGVJ
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I also headcanon Dave as a trans guy, which is funny because all the striders really hopped on the trans ur gender train lololol
Dave's transness is way more different from Bro's though, more through experience. Dave was simply raised and he believed himself to be a boy because Bro was a boy and he also liked the stuff aligned with it. He never went to public school, he was homeschooled but he walked in the city alone alot, probably made a few friends in parks or near school grounds but was never IN school.
He was a boy no one really questioned it, so it only came up that he could be societally aligned with girls later on, like probably 10-12. But was probably pushed out of any traumatic shock by Bro about it and Bro was probably giving Dave a lot of like "man up" mentality. He was never actually able to process it much so it just never bothered him until later on in his life (probably mid-meteor ride).
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Like the trans Bro kind of came up one day when I was hyperfixating on Dirk (whom I headcanon as trans-masc, not a trans guy persay but he definitely leans into man label, I've been playing with his dislike for labels and kind of putting him under queer haha!) which is also fun and interesting to play with Bro because that also implies he's non-binary but like doesn't understand that label on the slightest nor cares enough to identify as anything else but as a guy!!
(Also quickly wanted to add that a good label that aligns with Dirks gender /for ppl who need it/ would be nonbinary guy/demi-guy/trans-masc nonbinary, Dirk just doesn't strictly label it, nor does he want to)
Like a few friends I've talked to said Bro would definitely be a transmed and honestly he probably is but more to the degree of not understanding ppl that go against the transmed ideology but like not caring bc it's not business (in my whole concept anyways), he's not interested in it or most people so he doesn't really blurt out about it. He'd probably think people like Kalvin Garrah and ppl similar to him are dumb as hell bc like, "cis ppl have always hated us wtf are you on?" But he also doesn't involve himself in any LGBT politics/problems, at most keeps up with stuff so he gets his down low business done safely.
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Dave would be considered to literally be a stud if he was known to be afab, he also has small breasts like Dirk/Bro too so a compression shirt would do the trick easy. He never actually medically transitioned until probably post-game, as an adult.
Upon actually going through puberty Dave was simply given the pill. Bro didn't raise Dave as a trans kid, he raised him as a boy without transness in mind!
Bro didn't educate Dave about trans ppl or anything of the sort, he simply raised him. Dave was a boy and still a boy, just not the same way as Bro, expression-wise and in experience.
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Will also definitely say this too, Dave did not know that Bro was trans.
Bro was like literally living and identifying as a cis man and his down low life was more about being a gay black man rather then a TRANS gay black man.
There's definitely a possibility he ran into a few trans men/trans-masc ppl and felt more comfortable with exposure with a few of those individuals but like yeah he kept his transness in the down-low bc even gay who were cis looked down on trans gays
Especially as someone who grew up in the 70s-80s where's trans ppl in general were seen as weirdos even within the lgbt community in certain areas AND racism. Both of those existed inside and outside the trans community.
So yeah, like. He couldn't really hide the fact he was black (though can't say he was ashamed of being black the same way he was ashamed of himself being trans, but he probably does have some slight internalized racism in general), but it had gotten "better" atleast a couple years prior of Dave arriving. His transness tho is very easy to hide. He did not need any top surgery bc he had already had small breasts and testosterone can make your breasts decrease in size as well, along with his very heavy increase in muscle? All of that made it so he didn't really need surgery at all and he made his own bottom prosthetics for himself for easy hiding during any possible sexual encounters.
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Hope y'all enjoyed feel free to send asks about this if you want đŸ„ș
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trannakinskywalker · 5 months ago
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I finished the boyfriend. My exams are over so had enough time to write down some thought s
1. Taeheon pls call me
2. Shun was exhausting. Him getting catatonic over a t shirt at his big age was a hard watch. Oh and I've been there. To a degree. I've been the passive aggressive partner and I've kept quiet in the hopes that the other person would ask me what's wrong. But it gets to a point where you have to confront how manipulative and unfair you're being to yourself and the other person.
3. Ikuo is such a sweetheart :(((((
4. Ryota was great I loved him but he always felt so misplaced everywhere...idk it could have been the editing.
5. Dai looks so much like 90s Leung chiu wai
6. Gensei was a treasure <333
7. Taeheon pronoun check?? I need him
8. Alan. My thoughts are all him. I almost want to rewatch to re-absorb everything he said, cus I don't think I picked up fully all his meaning on my first watch. I was not expecting him to deliver such heart-rending moments with his words. Even though the green room was a kind of morose environment, and his flame got tamped down a bit near the last few episodes, he still kept true to his gentle, thoughtful, kind nature to the end. Basically every communication he had with someone else broke open parts of me that I wasn't even expecting were hardened.
9. Both he and Gensei were so empathetic and healing. When Taeheon was opening up about his fear coming out to his parents, I thought Alan and Gensei really heard him and offered the best advice. when Taeheon and Gensei were talking by the pool and Taeheon was nervous about the prospect of coming out again, and Gensei kept encouraging him and said "this is a good chance" (you're right) "you're not doing anything wrong" bro I was tearing up. Why does it feel like I'm breaking every law in the universe when I think about coming out to my parents. It does feel wrong but I never thought about it like that before. Crazy how one sentence can completely change your perspective because I felt my whole body relax at those words. And what Alan said to Taeheon the night they drank together really stuck with me too:
"You know, children learn many things from their parents. Parents also learn a lot from their children. By accepting you, and allowing you your own path of happiness, your parents will get to expand their perspective on so many things. It'll be a new world for them. And even if their reactions are beyond what you can imagine, you making a strong choice for yourself and being true to yourself will deliver a powerful message to them."
What a beautiful thing to say to someone :(((((
10. Let kazuto REST.
11. Taeheon's ascot in the last episode !!!!
Those are all my thoughts, i really enjoyed watching Alan, Gensei and Taeheon. I didn't think much of the others but overall it was an entertaining show, albeit a bit of a slog as everyone seemed to grow more depressed with every miscommunication and unrequited love confession. Green room more like the blue room? Shun and Dai seemed very toxic to me and I grew bored of them so fast. I haven't seen the reunion yet so that'll be next^^
I want more queer international dating shows to watch before my next semester starts, i need to live vicariously through someone
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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago
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hello, lovie!! its not during the day for you but i really needed to sleep for a bit. its either gonna be really long and have more than 2 parts or really short (not likely). 'matt like mumbling' he!! hes the least understandable person in hotd for me. i love you man but can you like.. SPEAK.. open your mouth yk. hope youll watch the episode. 'T_T ĐĄĐżĐ°ŃĐžĐ±ĐŸ, Đ»ŃŽĐ±ĐžĐŒŃ‹Đč' cute but its a masculine form.. one friend calls me that while joking TT Всё ĐœĐŸŃ€ĐŒĐ°Đ»ŃŒĐœĐŸ, ĐŽĐŸŃ€ĐŸĐłĐ°Ń. 'I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIA' omg its so sweet of you TT so. im listing my fav songs so you can just choose whatever youre comfortable with. my ultimate bias is '24/7' by the neighbourhood but it has rap. but ive got a feeling that your magnificent voiced sound so good in this. 'the lighthouse' and 'honey' (idk it also has some kind of rap? not really but yeah. im that kind of person fr) by halsey. ive seen you dooing some kpop covers so if youre ever interested i think youd sound great in 'she's fine' by heize. oh and ive just found 'why do you love me' by charlotte lawrence but ive been listening to minnies cover. ohoh and. have you ever seen steven universe? it has great songs no matter what (i havent watched the last seasons so cant say anything). so 'love like you' and 'here comes a thought' are soso AAAH. maybe youll like them. thats all ig. tbh, id love to see whatever cover you make! bc youre just the most pretty and talented hottie-cutie and i luvluv you <Đ· 'this is how i feel about music' ooh its good to know! well-well im 18 and im studying slavic philology. yk passion for.. just language. dull but still. 'i wanted to write it but now i dont' omg beauty idk how i can help you TT hope youll make it out. no matter if youll manage to write it or decide not to. 'i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt' well i didnt mean it but not gonna say its completely wrong. i meant this more in a.. sarcastic way? a fake joy of ruining my life. here we have a culture of death and depression related jokes and sarcasm and so on. the pressing environment. it sounds awful but.. were all so mentally ill its DREADFUL but funny) 'idk what i feel about the nickname' i meant it in a 'good person' way but if youre uncomfortable with it, im sorry. the bread eating tradition is actually from the ancient Rus ig? but nvm its become stronger after the wwII bc of the lack of bread during it. now 1) lots of teens says against this culture bc now we have enough food and they say its outdated 2) a culture of healthy eating is strong and twisted a bit? a lot of people dont eat bread to not gain weight. i just dont like bread so much to eat it with everything. 'DAMN WITH NO RICE' yeah were criminals. well its not really an equivalent of flan but it reminds it in a way. 'запДĐșĐ°ĐœĐșĐ°' literally means a thing that is baked?.. its usually made with the cottage cheese or the shortbread and then literally anything a person can think of. idk whos nada... but ill definately watch this vid later! give me more english vids with some social themes pls. 'ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada' yeah ig thats it? tbh tolerance is a little overrated?.. ik how it sounds but hear me out. maybe its just me but preferring something or smn with privileges over smth or smn without those very privileges seems not so right nowadays no matter what is the reason? as not liking a woman arouses a question about being a sexist while not liking a man isnt discussed and everyone understands why. i know why its like this but im not gonna continue, its going to be long. you have a right to not feel strong feelings when you dont feel them. its simple. it doesnt matter if its a male or female character. we all are too determined about our sexes? ok but im not continuing THIS definately. ig ill answer to why you love that issue the most in the next part. and i want to discuss smth else about discrimination. so! have a nice morning/day/evening, see you in the next part!
Hello baby!!!
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i appreciate the fact the person put the kitties in the towel/blanket.
its not during the day for you but i really needed to sleep for a bit. its either gonna be really long and have more than 2 parts or really short (not likely).
you should ONLY send me asks when its day FOR YOU 😡đŸ€ș pls take care of yourself T_T i dont mind waiting T_T
'matt like mumbling' he!! hes the least understandable person in hotd for me. i love you man but can you like.. SPEAK.. open your mouth yk. hope youll watch the episode.
LOLAHSKHASLFHKLAHSFHSAFHFH FOUL poor matty T_T BUT NAH UR SO RIGHT he be mumblin but i love him we still love him HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OPEN YOUR MOUTH BOY i'll try to watch it
'T_T ĐĄĐżĐ°ŃĐžĐ±ĐŸ, Đ»ŃŽĐ±ĐžĐŒŃ‹Đč' cute but its a masculine form.. one friend calls me that while joking TT Всё ĐœĐŸŃ€ĐŒĐ°Đ»ŃŒĐœĐŸ, ĐŽĐŸŃ€ĐŸĐłĐ°Ń.
i didnt know you have fem/masc form of words O.O mind blown. i checked the translation and apparently it became darling? i typed my love actually so thats on google translate. it seems like something a friend would do HAHAHAH
'I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIA' omg its so sweet of you TT so.
idk if i;ll ever sing it but i do like that song
im listing my fav songs so you can just choose whatever youre comfortable with. my ultimate bias is '24/7' by the neighbourhood but it has rap. but ive got a feeling that your magnificent voiced sound so good in this.
but theres no rap here? the verses just are quite monotonous or they dont sing in a wide range of notes. rap usually are atonal meaning they dont have a pitch its like talking but with rhythm. it's a fine song. i like the neighbourhood. i now know what kind of songs you gravitate to
'the lighthouse' and 'honey' (idk it also has some kind of rap? not really but yeah. im that kind of person fr) by halsey.
i listened to lighthouse! i like it exponentially more that the first song because of its grit. it kind of has a rock vibe, which i enjoy. i havent listened to halsey in a long time so you've made me like her again. random fact i was so freaked out by her name when i first encountered her T_T because i couldn't read it as any other way than ashley (which is what her name is an anagram of) idk i think i have mild dyslexia. i listened to honey too! i like it as well but i like lighthouse the most because THE GRIT đŸ˜© but i could do this one too. halsey be talkin about thighs and being mean HAHHAHA kinky HAHAHAHAh thank you for reviving my interest in halsey btw none of these songs have raps babe
ive seen you dooing some kpop covers so if youre ever interested i think youd sound great in 'she's fine' by heize.
pls why would you watch my old videos T_T its cringe cos i didnt have equipment yet at the time. id rather not do a kpop cover because im very concerned about pronouncing words wrong. also the song is just fine to me HAHAHAH like its title. i will do lighthouse then HAHAHH gimme a few days to learn it. im also editing 2 songs so i can finally post it. i recorded yesterday. i hope you like it when i show it to you. i wont link it anymore since you have my youtube so i hope you subbed and put notifs on HAHAHH
oh and ive just found 'why do you love me' by charlotte lawrence but ive been listening to minnies cover. ohoh and.
this sounds so much like so happy together by the turtles . i like it shes like fine shes toxic HAHAHAHHA we love that in art HAHHAAH shes quite monotonous too so yeah its fine
have you ever seen steven universe? it has great songs no matter what (i havent watched the last seasons so cant say anything). so 'love like you' and 'here comes a thought' are soso AAAH. maybe youll like them. thats all ig.
i know steven universe. I listened 'love like you' AND I LOVE THE SONG SO MUCH but i would have to do the instrumentals and if i dont the song would be ruined and the instrumentals are so sweet i might mess it up idk. i like the second song too, here comes a thought, but the first one is so much nicer to me. maybe because the performer is better in the first one.
tbh, id love to see whatever cover you make! bc youre just the most pretty and talented hottie-cutie and i luvluv you <Đ·
aw thank you baby T_T
'this is how i feel about music' ooh its good to know!
<3
well-well im 18 and im studying slavic philology. yk passion for.. just language. dull but still.
WOW I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT PHILOLOGY IS THATS SO COOL ITS NOT DULL AT ALL om ur 18 T_T ur a baby T_T ur a literal child T_T my goodness T_T T_T T_T i feel kinda weird now T_T for interacting with someone thats about my younger brothers age online T_T my child my goodness
'i wanted to write it but now i dont' omg beauty idk how i can help you TT hope youll make it out. no matter if youll manage to write it or decide not to.
HAHAAH I MEANT I WANT TO WRITE IT BUT NOT ANYMORE AT THE MOMENT it happens HAHAHH but i still will write the fic dont worry
'i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt' well i didnt mean it but not gonna say its completely wrong. i meant this more in a.. sarcastic way? a fake joy of ruining my life. here we have a culture of death and depression related jokes and sarcasm and so on. the pressing environment. it sounds awful but.. were all so mentally ill its DREADFUL but funny)
ah i see. i have friends who joke about death/dying a lot but i never like it nor do i condone it as the designated mom friend so pls i know its a joke but dont be so ok with it.
'idk what i feel about the nickname' i meant it in a 'good person' way but if youre uncomfortable with it, im sorry.
NO WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING I JUST SAID IDK WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT ITS NOT UNCOMFY ITS JUST LIKE ??? IDK WHAT I FEEL ABOUT IT STOP APOLOGIZING đŸ€ŹđŸ€ŹđŸ€ŹđŸ€ŹđŸ€ŹđŸ€Ź
the bread eating tradition is actually from the ancient Rus ig? but nvm its become stronger after the wwII bc of the lack of bread during it. now 1) lots of teens says against this culture bc now we have enough food and they say its outdated 2) a culture of healthy eating is strong and twisted a bit? a lot of people dont eat bread to not gain weight. i just dont like bread so much to eat it with everything.
ahhhh i see. wwii L. diet culture is ulTRA MEGA L. i love bread but not just like plain bread. i understand what you mean about bread. i mean love the possibilities you could have with bread. you can make it toast you can eat it with hot choco you can make a sandwich YUM but bread < rice lol
'DAMN WITH NO RICE' yeah were criminals.
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well its not really an equivalent of flan but it reminds it in a way. 'запДĐșĐ°ĐœĐșĐ°' literally means a thing that is baked?.. its usually made with the cottage cheese or the shortbread and then literally anything a person can think of.
i see! this looks like a cheesecake like the baked version (because there's a no baked version) REALLY INTERSTING LOOKS YUMMY 10/10 would lOVE TO TRY even though i cant even read the russian symbols and my brain is like ah yes the one thats almost is a rectangle is a p (based on all the russian texts ive seen since talking with you) wtf why is the a 3 and the k is probably not a k
idk whos nada...
yes i know T_T HAHAHAHAH
but ill definately watch this vid later! give me more english vids with some social themes pls.
that channel that made that video (theyre called the take) have amazing insight on things. i think the first video i watched on them was about himbos or perhaps it was the one i enjoyed the most?? which is why i remember it but yeah they have amazing takes on things pun intended
'ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada' yeah ig thats it? tbh tolerance is a little overrated?.. ik how it sounds but hear me out. maybe its just me but preferring something or smn with privileges over smth or smn without those very privileges seems not so right nowadays no matter what is the reason? as not liking a woman arouses a question about being a sexist while not liking a man isnt discussed and everyone understands why. i know why its like this but im not gonna continue, its going to be long. you have a right to not feel strong feelings when you dont feel them. its simple. it doesnt matter if its a male or female character. we all are too determined about our sexes? ok but im not continuing THIS definately.
but this is very true. some people can be like oh u dont like this woman you misogynist ??? no thats not how that works ???? it was a good food for thought for me though, kind of this catharsis I had over nada. i went from omg am i internally misogynistic to oh wait nah its just that she's literally just a plot device without too much depth used for nada. this now kind opens the discussion of, oh women are only used as plot devices for character development of men. and yeah thats a problem but T_T yeah lets not get into that AHHHHAHAHA
yeah you should be able to like and not like a character but hopefully you only do it based on their character not something like apperance sex or whatever
ig ill answer to why you love that issue the most in the next part. and i want to discuss smth else about discrimination. so! have a nice morning/day/evening, see you in the next part!
AH YES LETS GO PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATE HOLLA
xxx
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moonlightchildz · 3 years ago
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echoes of love; j.k
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summary: your prince charming out of nowhere decides to call it quits, leaving behind his crown and your broken-hearted self behind.
tw: Mature 18+, smut, mentions of recreational drug use (weed), intoxication, thigh riding, a squint of fingering f. receiving, insecurities from jk, aaand slight angst, mdni, !make up sex
i have a jk rot in my brain, pls send help
word count: 2.5k
Timing was never right for you. Everything came spiraling towards you, engulfing you until you were suffocating and grasping to just breathe. And then he came into your life: Jeon Jungkook. Suddenly life wasn’t just roaring, ferocious waves. It was the waves softly overlapping at the shore, the sun shining brightly, kisses underneath silky sheets. It was the embodiment of love finally calling you and setting you free. It was home becoming a pair of strong arms, doe eyes that represented the universe within them, and a pair of lips that welcomed you with nothing but happiness and love.
And then out nowhere, your prince charming had left his crown beside your broken heart.
It had been a few weeks since your boyfriend decided to call it quits to your relationship out of the blue. To say it took a huge toll on you would have been an understatement. It had completely wrecked you. It was the clicking of the door closing that had allowed you to finally crumble in pieces. Your arm had shot out to grab a hold of something steady, completely missing as you slid down on the floor, tears brimming and lips parting in pure disbelief. It felt as if a thorn vine wrapped itself around your bleeding heart, squeezing and tugging it till the point you were breathless.
He hadn't explained why, he simply said, "I can't do this to you anymore, to myself. I am leaving. Do not bother in coming after me. I'll leave the key here. My things aren't here anymore."
And then he left. He walked right through that door without a care in the fucking world while you sobbed heavily, clutching at your chest because it hurt so much. The wreckage he left behind would never ever be able to reconstruct. It was maddening, powerful, and heartbreaking all at once. Memories flew through your brain, his touch lingering on your skin as you hunched over, tears streaming down your face. Your trembling fingers were grasping at his ghost, begging in silence to simply come back home to you.
Days blurred and time had lost its meaning. No matter how hard you tried to shove your feelings down your throat, they always wound up at the surface, bursting and overflowing beyond words. It’s hard to forget about someone who once meant a lot to you. It’s hard to forget about the way everything used to be. It’s hard to forget when they’ve left so much behind. Their smile, their laugh, their goals and dreams, and the feeling of their touch on your skin. The blinded promises that spilled out of his lips now laid on your hands, holding on to an emptiness you wished it simply go away.
Blurred memories, hurt gazes, broken hearts, and broken promises.
Smoke evaded your lips as you closed your eyes and let it consume you. A wave of haziness embraced you as you leaned back against your best friend’s chest. You could hear the laughter rumble throughout his chest and you paid it no mind. His arm was wrapped around your stomach, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt unconsciously.
“You good, buttercup?” Taehyung prompted suddenly, eyeing your state.
“Better than ever,” you muttered out, trying to keep it together just long enough before you excused yourself and went back home for the night. You figured spending the night at your parent’s place seemed like a safe haven since it was your room, your old memories, and it didn’t have any imprint of him whatsoever.
Your apartment was just clouded memories of him everywhere you walked and it haunted you late at night. Tears blurred your eyesight every single fucking night and you could feel your heart visibly breaking as each day passed. Weed wasn’t helping you at this rate anymore. It only heightened your emotions and it made you clutch at your shirt, the pain within you irreversible and taking you down completely. you wished you could hold your heart, caress it, and tell it that it’s okay but to please stop hurting.
It was past midnight when you had enough. The people around you were grating your nerves and the ambiance was just making you irritable by the minute. Slowly, you started getting out of your best friend’s embrace, leaning over his ear to tell him you were about to dip and call it a night. However Taehyung paid no mind to you. No, his cold gaze was burning ahead and you swiveled to spot a well known silhouette disappearing down the hall. Instantly, you let go of Taehyung and started getting up. Your mind too wrapped up to think straight as your heart roared and begged you to keep walking towards that shadow.
"No," A hand shot out, grasping your wrist. Taehyung detained you, his eyes glimmering with a hint of despair, a feeling you were well accustomed to now. Despair and insanity held hands, each at the brink of sweeping everything in its way. "I can make your pain go away."
"What?" You splutter out, eyes widening. You were tugging at his hold, too stunned to even voice out anything other than stupid redundant questions.
He let go, but only to grasp your face in his hands. He was nearing you, forgetting about the world outside as you glanced up at him. Taehyung leaned down, lips ghosting the shell of your ear to whisper, “I can make your pain go away, y/n. If you just let me, I can make you forget about him. I can make you the happiest woman on this damned planet if you would just allow me."
"Taehyung," you plead with him. "Let me go."
“Are you seriously going to run after him?” He furiously began, his hands releasing you. He seemed almost disgusted with you in that moment. You were taken aback, his sweet voice turning into something so hideous. His colors were showing now, as he spat out without remorse, “He left you without an explanation, probably fucked some other bitch, and you're still going to cry in my face."
“Stop,” you snapped out, standing your ground because he had no right. “You don’t know anything.”
“I know that he’s not worth it. I know that fucker doesn’t deserve you. He’s nothing. No one. And he’s never going to amount to anything in this world. Trash like him will only hold you back from your truest potential—”
Your hand connected with his face.
“Don’t you fucking ever talk about him like that again.” You seethed out, hands beginning to tremble. “You have no fucking right to degrade him like that when he’s not here to defend himself.” You didn’t allow him a reaction since you left him alone. You were quick to run after him without a second thought.
yes, he broke your heart. yes, you knew what you were doing was insanely stupid on your part but you can’t control the heart once it has something set in mind. not when it still belonged to him.
He was halfway out the apartment before your hand shot out, grabbing a hold of his jacket to detain him from leaving. Jungkook stopped. He knew it was you from the moment your hand went to grab a hold of his hand. You glanced at the door beside you and you prayed no one was in there as you opened it with your other hand. The room was vacant so without even thinking you tugged Jungkook into the room with you. The both of you didn’t bother in turning on the lights since darkness seemed to emit everything from a person.
“Why?” Was the first thing you spoke out loud.
You glanced up, eyes watery and heart beating louder than ever. You missed him so much it had begun to haunt you, to ache so much it was unbearable.
His eyes flickered everywhere but your face. He didn’t want to look at you, not when he still missed you, but you both weren’t right for each other. He knew it, you knew it, and practically everyone surrounding you knew it, but even then you still wanted him back because fuck whatever everyone thinks. You get to decide who you lead back into your life, who you kick out, and certainly who you love.
Toxic.
That’s what Taehyung had said to you the day he broke up with you.
Jeon Jungkook was toxic for you, Y/N. He was an overly possessive, jealous, and insecure man who loved you too much for his own good. You added. Jungkook was anything but those things. He loved you so much he would never hurt you intentionally.
“I’m sorry.” He sounded rough, and as you took him in you realized how disheveled he looked. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, and he seemed restless. Good. At least you weren’t the only one suffering because of his decisions.
“I just want to know, Kook. Why? What was the reason?” You persisted, your heart trapped in your throat as you tried to hold back your tears. It hurt so much. “Was I not enough?” you softly asked him and as soon as those words left your mouth he immediately started shaking his head.
“No!” He unconsciously stepped towards you and you glanced up at him, waiting for him to touch you, to console you, to tell you that everything was going to be okay even if it wasn’t. But instead, he stopped himself short and your eyes flickered over to his fingers that were curling harshly into the palm of his hand. “No, don’t even for a second think that you weren’t enough because God you were, you were and so much more.
“Then why?” you croaked out, and you hated yourself for feeling so damn weak, so fragile, and so needy. He remained silent, eyes taking you in from head to toe. You felt pathetic in that moment. Embarrassment crept up inside your bones, rattling you into a startling rude awakening. Leave, y/n. Just let him go.
You laughed at yourself and shook your head in disbelief. You couldn’t believe you had stooped so low for a guy. You remembered how you told yourself you wouldn’t let a man ever break you, but guess what? They didn’t warn you about him. They never handed you a pamphlet of what to avoid and you landed straight into his arms with wide, open eyes.
“You’re a coward. After everything I’ve done? After everything we’ve been through you’re just going to throw it all away? For what? Did you find another bitch? Is that it?” You spat out, the anger fueling your emotions now.
“No,” he was quick to get rid of that thought from you. “There was never and still isn’t anyone else.”
“Were you not happy with me? Is that it then? Did you fall out of love?”
“No.”
You blinked, “No, what?”
“No, I didn’t fall out of love. No, that I wasn’t happy with you.”
“Then what the fuck was it?” you desperately asked him, becoming weak as each second passed between the two of you. He didn’t answer. He was keeping everything to himself and that was one of his biggest flaws. He kept everything in to stop it from hurting you, but the irony was that he was just causing you more pain by simply doing that.
He didn’t say anything after that. He was just silent and you couldn’t take it. He wasn’t fighting for you anymore. He had stopped doing that the moment he broke things off with you. So with whatever dignity you had left, you gathered your wits and simply turned around without saying a word. You straightened your back, wiped your tears from your face, and walked away from him saying, “I’m not sorry for loving you Jungkook, but I do feel sorry for myself for letting you hurt me. For trying to fight for a man who gave up. A coward he is indeed."
Taehyung wasn’t in sight anymore and you figured he was probably pissed at you. After all, you ditched him without explanations to go after a guy who never really gave a fuck about you. With bitter resentment, you walked home in the wintry air, finding solace in the cold darkness. Taehyung's advances were expected, but not so fucking early. You knew the brunette held feelings for you, but you were so enamored with the raven haired tattooed man. Your eyes only ever fell on him, your smile was only drawled out by him, your heart only fluttered for him. So why? Why?
You ended up at your apartment. Your roommate was out with her boyfriend, Hoseok. Hoseok who was best friend’s with your ex. Hoseok who presented him to you. Hoseok who had become such a good friend to you. Hoseok who you didn’t want to see again. Him, or none of his friends anymore. You received a few texts from your mom who was waiting for you to arrive with open arms, but you simply called her and told her you would come over tomorrow instead. First, you needed to clean and wipe his existence from your living space.
You were done by three am. Every single crook and crevice of his existence was gone physically, but not mentally. At least, not for a very long time. You sat on the floor, bathed and with a bottle of wine sitting beside you, nearly empty. Tears stained your reddened cheeks as you inhaled deeply, fingers on your phone, one click away from sending a text.
fuck you. i miss you so much. i hate you.
And then the doorbell rang. You halted, tossing your phone to the side and you stumbled your way to the door. It was incredibly late for someone to be knocking on your door. You anticipated your best friend while your heart yearned for someone else to be outside your door in that moment. You were so drunk, failing to peep through the peep hole first.
Jungkook? your heart hoped. Swinging it open, you stopped on your tracks.
Black hoodie, sweatpants, eyebrow and lip pierced, tattooed arm leaning against the frame of the door. And there he was in all his glory.
It was him.
“Get the fuck out of my face,” you snarled out, venom purely emitting from your lips.You were shocked at first, not entirely believing he was actually standing in front of you. no, don’t listen to me please. stay, stay and come back to me already. home is where you are love.
“I know you hate me, and you have every reason to be,” he started, eyes flickering down to the floor once your seething eyes made eye contact with him.
“I know I left without an explanation. I know I hurt you the moment I walked out.”
“Is that what you’re here for? To remind me? Jungkook I fucking love you. I am so in love with you and you just threw me a side as if it was nothing. I spent weeks trying to find out why and you never told me, you never answered. You left. And you still won’t give me a fucking explanation!”
“You always were too good for me.”
You closed your mouth, eyes taking him in. “Fuck you. Fuck you Jungkook. Go to hell. You don’t get to come back in here and tell me this shit. We’ve been through this multiple of times. So fuck that! Fuck that mindset, and fuck you for hurting me. Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you—”
He was encasing you already, tears spilling down his cheeks. His arms wrapped around your frame, pulling you towards him as you tried prying him off you. You clawed at him, yelling at him to release you, but he held you tighter.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he choked out, pressing your screaming body against him. “I’m so fucking sorry. Please forgive me. I love you so much. I’m sorry I left. I am so sorry.”
You were kicking, screaming at him until your voice gave out on you, until those screams turned into sobs. Your hands curled on the hem of his shirt, tugging and pulling him closer to you since he was finally here. He was finally back in your life after so long. You inhaled his scent, fingers gripping his skin, and your eyes were screwed shut because god were you afraid to open them at the moment. Your heart pounded, beating so disquieted.
“You’re too good for me and I’m not worth it—“ he whispered it out, hands still pressing you against his body.
“Bullshit,” you immediately spat out, tears streaming down your face. You opened your eyes, hands framing his face firmly. “I get to decide who’s good for me and who isn’t.” you inhaled sharply, trying to contain yourself. “And you Jeon Jungkook, you are everything to me.”
“I love you so much,” he admitted to you. “And you know that. I am so in love with you. I thought leaving would be better for you, but it fucked me over so badly. You wanted to know why? Taehyung was all over my ass, telling me that you needed better. That you deserved someone like him instead. That I was a good for nothing deadbeat motherfucker.”
Your heart plummeted. No, not your Taehyung.
“I thought you would be happier with him, and then I saw you with him at that stupid fucking party. He was all over you and I couldn’t take it. And then imagine the surprised I got when you stopped me, crying to me and I-I, I’m so sorry.”
A small sob escaped his quivering lips, hands framing your face. “I love you so much. Please, forgive me baby.”
He rested his face on the crook of your neck, strong arms shaking as they wrapped around you.
“You are worth so much, Jungkook.” You reassured him once again. “So much that you complete me whole. The moment you walked out through that door I couldn't even hold myself together. You took a part of me that no one else gets to see and I want you to engrave that to your fucking head already. I chose you. My heart is yours to take, but not to leave behind. I love you, and only you. I don't care what anyone thinks because their words fall deaf to me. If it's not you, if it's not with you, then to hell with it."
You were breathing heavily now, hoping your words would simply imprint their way into his heart. "Can't you see how much I need you with me, baby. I am not myself and it's frightening me to know that you have so much control over me." you confessed to him, voice raw and full of emotion. "I am not going to beg you to stay. I am simply a woman, reminding the man that she loves that she is here to stay if he is willing to fight for it."
"Of course I am," he was framing your face, fingers tracing your features as he pressed his forehead. "I am madly in love with you. I have come here every fucking night, just staying outside your door, and I wish I would have pulled to my senses much earlier. I am so fucking sorry. I will make it up to you, baby. I swear. Everything I promised is still intact. I love you, please be with me. Please jus-"
"I am here," you whispered it against his lips. "I am here, Jungkook."
“Tell me to stop if you don’t want m—“
You didn’t even let him finish.
You pulled him towards you, your mouth spilling secrets before you could detain yourself. “Of course I want you. I want you so much.” You whispered out against his lips. By now you could feel the beat of your heart drum beneath your fingertips. Your fingers were still grasping his shirt into a tight fist, your body already demanding attention from him. He was always so good with his hands, and his tongue, and everything else. They didn’t call him the maknae for just visual. You missed his body too.
You were inebriated, that you were sure of, but even sober you would hold him in a heartbeat. You were both intoxicated and even though your brain told you to stop and to walk away from the man who had broken your heart, your heart took over in desperation to feel him hold you again.
His hands found their place on your hips, quickly pulling you flush against his body.
“Jungkook,” you breathed out against his mouth, eyes fleeting. You wouldn’t look at him in the eye, or else your heart would give in too. The familiar heat in your stomach began to flare, and as his lips brushed yours, the familiar heat began to pool down between your thighs.
“Tell me what you want,” he breathed out against your skin, his tongue tracing the underside of your ear, enjoying the sweet taste of your skin as you moaned out softly. Your fingers were gripping his hair as you tried to control yourself, but you couldn’t anymore. He was driving you insane as his tongue tasted your skin without remorse.
You grinded yourself against his growing hard on, whimpering at just the thought of him touching you. He was here, he was touching you, but you wanted to feel him. You wanted to feel his ever so lovely fingers inside of you, feel his lips leave purple, pinkish marks behind in his wake, and hear him moan out your name in pleasure as he thrusts inside of you—even if it was just for one night. You knew how he was in bed, and the way he was kissing you and touching you gave you a glimpse of what he was truly capable of once again. Images of him between your shaking legs came rushing back to you and suddenly your desire for him skyrocketed as usual. It’s been weeks since you two had broken things off—or should you say when he left you.
“Kiss me,” you heavily breathed it out and he pulled his lips away from the crook of your neck to give you what you truly wanted. His heavy lidded eyes took in your dazed expression and slowly you noticed his lips curl up into a small smirk that had your insides screaming. He still knew what he was doing to you and he was loving it.
He was taunting you even. He slowly brushed his lips against yours, and that movement alone had your heart racing and your eyes fluttering to a close. His fingers delicately framed your face and as much as you wanted to just pull him into a kiss, you refrained yourself since two could play at that game. You refused to look at him in the eye though, as he was just a few centimeters away from you and you knew that if you opened your eyes and gazed at him, you would fall hook, line, and sinker like you always did. Your feelings for him were getting in the way of what you have been wanting for so long and they were toying with you now.
“Look at me,” he roughly demanded and his fingers threaded into your hair instead, tugging at it to raise a reaction out of you. You felt your heart tug at your strings and as you stubbornly ignored him, he brushed his lips against your skin, his forehead resting against yours as he resigned. “Please,” more softly he whispered against your ear. “Just look at me.”
Your eyes fluttered open.
And as your eyes met his, you felt your heart ache with not only a desire to feel him intimately against you again, but also emotionally as well. He was quick to spin you around and in a matter of seconds he was shoving you up against the wall, his forearms pressed against it as he trapped you between them. He rested his forehead against yours and his gaze was so fervent it had your legs quivering from the intensity.
“Kiss me,” his voice wasn’t soft, no, it was gruff and breathy, and as you processed his words you seemed at utter lost. Did he missed you, too? His lips brushed the corner of your lips as he lowly said to you, “I need you so much.” In a softer tone he whispers, “I missed you so much. "A confession that ended up being returned.
You kissed him hard. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as the both of you clashed together, breathing in the same air as he kissed you with such dominance and certainty. He pressed you up against the wall, his knee nudging its way in between your thighs as your hands roamed his broad shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as his tongue swept your bottom lip, before capturing it between his teeth. You hummed into his mouth, enjoying the taste of him and the feeling of him. Your fingers quickly threaded themselves into his hair, tugging as hard as you could. This was it. The man you were still so deeply in love with was kissing you as if he was a starved man. His hand was pressed behind the back of your head, keeping you close to him as his pink lips took every inch of your breath away. His knee was still in between your thighs and he moved you up against it to pull you closer, but that movement made your cunt clench in pleasure.
“Always so needy,” he tsked, and then added on in a lower, slower tone. “My pretty baby.”
“Yes, yes, your baby,” you agreed with him instantly, moans mixing with your soft gasps. He flexed the muscle in his thigh, hips grinding you down against his muscle. You would always be his baby, his princess. He had that engraved in that head of yours. Only you were able to tear him apart and build him back together again.
“Fuck,” you gasped out, tilting your head back against the wall as your body took control over itself. You grounded your hips against his thigh, your toes curling at the new sensation. You knew his thighs were firm, but as you began to slowly grind on one of them, now you realized how firm they truly were. You started out slow, testing it out, but as he nudged your sensitive clit, you began to pick up the pace to feel something more than just arousal at this point.
“Mm-Jungkook, I need to—” you whimpered out, your nails digging into his forearms as you rutted against his clad, black jeans. The friction was overwhelming you to the point where you were panting hard, your mouth opening and closing as Jungkook helped you move your hips against his thigh rather harshly and fast to the point you had to grip on to his forearms for support.
“I—fuck!” you cried out, arms wrapping around his figure.
“Who knew you would sound so hot and look so pretty for me, baby,” he exhaled roughly, his lips pressing at the base of your neck, his eyes never leaving you.
“I-I—” you moaned out and he was eating all of it.
“What do you want, baby? Do you want my fingers? My mouth?” He cooed out, earning whimpers to emit from your lips so loudly.
“I want you inside of me.” You incoherently gasped out. “I want—I want—“
“I need to touch you firs—” He quickly cut you off, his voice low, thick even.
“Feel me, I’m ready.” You slipped your fingers underneath your skirt and when he saw how slick, and coated they were he muffled his groans by burying himself on the crook of your neck. You went to wipe yourself, but he surprised you by taking your hand and slipping your fingers inside his mouth. Your breath hitched at the sight. He slowly sucked on your fingers, his pinkish tongue swirling around the tips and as he hollowed his cheeks, he shamelessly lapped up all off your juices from your fingers. His burning gaze remained on you and the roaring in your ears intensified as the familiar hot feeling in your belly began to spread throughout your body.
“Oh, Jesus,” you heavily breathed out, stunned and dazed by that simple action.
“You still taste as good as I remember,” his voice sounded breathy, uneven, and filled with desire.
“Can you fuck me as good as I remember?”
His fingers were quick to unbuckle his belt and your eager hands helped shove his jeans and boxers down his thighs. They pooled at his legs but that didn’t matter. His hands hurriedly hitched your night gown, exposing your underwear for him. There was a wet damp on i already, and you heard him inhale sharply at the sight. He just had to have you at this point. Jungkook watched how you slowly opened your eyes, how your chest heaved up and down, and how you looked at him as if you wanted to fuck the living brains out of him. His hands gripped your thighs to the point where you knew you were bound to get bruised up, but you didn’t care. You loved getting bruised up, marked up, and if it was by him then by all means you would surrender at his feet to just get a glimpse of his attention on your body. He wrapped his hand around his cock, and that movement alone had him hissing into your neck. You had to refrain from marking his arms with your nails, but he felt so fucking good. A gasp escaped your lips as he shifted upwards, his fingers digging into your thighs as you felt the tip of his cock slowly enter you.
“Fuck,” he slowly breathed out against your mouth. You could feel the movement of his lips against your own, and his gum flavored breath fanned your face. Everything about him seemed to magnify. From the way his gaze bore into yours, to the way the veins in his arms seemed to be more prominent, and the way his taut stomach clenched in delight. But most importantly, the way the both of you looked into each other’s eyes and remembered how it used to feel to be together.
“Legs,” he groaned out as he slowly and fully entered you. Your head tilted backwards, mouth slightly open as you obeyed his rough voice. You wrapped your legs around him and felt him closer, grinding into you until soft moans started escaping your lips. He had one arm resting against the wall while the other winded around your waist, fucking slowly into you. A gasp escaped your lips, the sensation too much. He held you so tightly against him, his pants breathed into your lips each time he slid inside of you. He knew what he was doing and you were so glad you caved into your carnal desires. Jungkook sucked sweetly on your skin and just to drive you closer to your edge, he grazed his over the sensitive area, marking you up and then easing up the bruise with his skilled tongue. Spit dribbled everywhere his mouth left, decorating you with his love.
“Jungkook,” you mewled out, head becoming dizzy from how crazy he was driving you. Your hands cupped the nape of his neck, pressing him closer to you since you needed him practically against you at this point. He pressed you up against the wall to the point where your back was getting marked up from how hard he was slamming into you, but you didn’t care. You were too focused on your aching cunt that was finally being filled completely by him. You clenched around him and he halted, his hot breath fanning your ear as he incoherently breathed out. “D-Don’t do that, baby. I won’t-I won’t last. I need to, I need to.”
“I-I,Jungkook, I’m coming,” you whimpered out, your lips were attached to his neck as he kept thrusting inside of you without remorse. His biceps glistened with sweat and the fact that his muscles were bulging and so, so tempting to just run your tongue over them made you wonder how strong this man was. He was undeniably hot, charming, sweet, and overall knew what he was doing since your mind was clouded with thoughts of only him. Your eyes glanced down between your thighs and you swallowed thickly at the sight of Jungkook slowly dragging out his thick out of you and slamming it back inside. Slick covered his dick already and his pre cum mixed in with your juices.
“You like that, baby?” He sinfully purred out, his eyes never leaving you. “Watching me slowly fuck you like this?”
Before you could reply, he was gripping your jaw, forcing you to glance up at him through lidded eyes.
"You missed me touching you like this?" he edged on, your body melting from the thickness of his voice. ""Cause I missed this pussy so much, craved it, dreamed about it even."
“Fuck, yes.” You choked out, your legs beginning to shake from the intensity. You were close, so close, but this wasn’t enough. You wanted him closer and you didn’t care how incredibly greedy or needy you sounded, but you needed to feel him pressed up against you, his mouth on you. You wanted to feel his hands caress your legs, waist, and stomach. To feel his breath ghost the inside of your sensitive thighs, feel his piercing drag across your skin.
“I need you closer, I need you to fuck me on my bed, please,” you desperately whimpered out, your breathing heavier than before. “Please, Kook.”
“Okay,” he breathed out against your pleading request, swallowing your small whimpers. His hands encased you behind your back thighs and pressed his forehead against yours.
“Look at me,” he husked out, eyes devouring you whole. You immediately did so and as he leaned down to kiss you, your grip on him tightened and you eagerly met his lips. He tasted so sweet. If it weren’t for him that was holding you, you were pretty sure your knees would have give out on you. He felt so good inside of you, and you needed him inside you again. Now.
“I need you.” You moaned out, and he nodded, but didn’t relent. He backed you up against the wall and with one arm held you as his other hand grabbed a side of your face, his touch gentle, but firm. His tongue slipped inside and you welcomed him. This kiss was different than the other ones. It was teeth clashing, mouthwatering, tongues colliding, and so addictive as each second passed by. He was everywhere as he carried you to your bedroom where he was already so familiar with. The sheets that you had wiped clean from his scent would soon be imprinted by him once again. He was marking your apartment, claiming it as his space all over again. The fact that he was still so familiar with every crook and cranny of your body had you a shivering mess underneath him. His lips roamed your skin, decorating your once pure skin with his sinning marks of broken love. He still knew you, inside and out. His hands were already ripping your gown apart, throwing it behind him. He straddled you, arms taking a hold of his own shirt to hastily rip it out of his body. His muscles flexed, abdomen looking toned and tongue licking worthy. His tattoos decorated his left arm so prettily, tattooed fingers soon disappearing inside your cunt without hesitation.
“I need you,” you incoherently whimpered out, trying to push his hand away.
“Okay, okay,” he was quick in molding his body against yours. “Is this what you wanted?” Your fingers gripped the sheets, then they curled around his body. His heavy weight was so familiar against yours. Your heart was sighing in contentment upon feeling his warmth, his breath ghosted your skin.
“Yes,” you cried out in relief. Your body, soul, and heart yearned for his return.
“Right—” He bottomed out and pounded into you till the hilt, causing you to sob out in pleasure. “Right there?” He grunted out, his cock pulsing inside of you. You couldn’t even reply, and he chuckled cockily to himself. He pulled out and you cried out, desperately tugging him back down. You didn’t care if you seemed desperate, or easy for the fact. You needed to feel him again, for your sake. You needed to feel his cum inside of you, watch it spill from your thighs. He caved into you and thrust back inside of you, hard and steady. His hand splayed out beside your face, his arm taking up the pressure which made his veins more prominent again while the other pinned your wrists above your head, gripping them until you couldn't move.
“Yes, nghh-” you were babbling at this point, consumed by his cock and the thought of having him back into your arms. Your body was arching off the bed to meet with his hips that were grinding against your pubic bone, driving you closer to the edge. “Yes, yes, please, Kook, fuck me harder.”
He released you and you watched in pure bliss as to how he extended his arms and gripped the headboard, his knuckles turning white. He slid out, and slammed back inside you all the way to the point where your moans were choked out. You felt you sanity quickly slipping from your fingertips as he thrusted inside of you, and took you whole.
“I-I-I,” was all you could splutter out, your fingers on his back, wanting to touch every inch of his body while you could. Your nails dug on his back, scratching and marking him up.
“I’m close, I'm so close,” you practically screamed out. He let go of the headboard that was slamming against the wall and dipped down to press his hot body against yours once again. Your arms hitched underneath his and you gripped his shoulders, his mouth on yours once again. As he kissed you deeply, he hitched your leg over his hip and slammed into you, earning a sinful, breathless moan as a response. Your hair was all matted up, your body was dripping with sweat, and the moans that were slipping from your lips were sinning and animalistic. By now he was sliding in and out of you with such ease from how dripping wet you were. You felt his cock drag itself against your clamping walls.
“I—” With one final thrust, you screwed your eyes shut as your body jolted, your orgasm shaking you whole. His hips stuttered, hands finding yours to intertwined them with his as he came inside you, filling you up to the brim. He shuddered against your body, his lips tentatively finding yours.
He kissed you softly, hands releasing yours to engulf your body against his instead. his legs tangled into yours, lips spilling every burning desire, pain, and everything in between against yours. his hands were splayed on your back, fingertips tracing your skin, memorizing and reliving every touch he left behind. you weren’t far behind either. your fingers were tangled in his hair, your other hand traveling down his back, scratching and marking him all over again because he was yours and only yours. only you had the right to see him in this state. to have him hold you this way.
“i missed you so much,” he breathed out against your mouth, never separating his lips from yours.
“i never want to go through that again,” you told him in return. “you really hurt me, jungkook. i thought i had lost you.”
tears pricked at your eyes and he stopped to wipe them away for you. his forehead pressed against yours, hands framing your face.
“I am so sorry. I won't do that ever again. Losing you was detrimental and a spiraling mess I don't ever want to experience." He sounded in pain, his arms tightening around you, lips pressing gentle kisses on your forehead, nose, and lips.
As you tried to even out your breathing, and control your shaking legs, his lips found the crook of your neck once more, adorning it with his love. He mumbled incoherent things as he delivered open mouth kisses to your skin just like he used to before. His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him. Legs intertwined with yours, fingers were tracing your skin, and his mouth was resting on your shoulder blade now.
Broken promises, and broken love, but who were you to deny his advances when you still were madly in love with him. You let him pull you closer, and as you laid against his beating heart, your fingers traced their echoes of love into his skin once again.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I promise to do better. I promise to—”
“I need you to promise me that you’re going to start trying for yourself." You interjected, grabbing a hold of his hand to kiss his knuckles. "I need your pretty brain to have engraved that you are worth so much. You are my world, Jungkook. You are capable of making beautiful things happening. So talk to me when you are feeling down, insecure, or have a doubt and I'll guide you through it. I'll aid in shutting them away. So stay, and don't you ever do that to me again."
"I love you." He was gazing at you with such vulnerability. "I promise to make amends, to do anything in my will to make you the happiest woman. So please forgive me, forgive me and keep loving me the way you do now, baby."
"I will." You earnestly vowed to him.
"I will be in your life for as long as you allow me to. You are a privilege, a dream I never wanna wake up from. Saranghae."
547 notes · View notes
1tad0ri · 4 years ago
Note
OKAY hey girl lemme j say how invested in this blog i am going to be . okay . so uh yuuji being the horny shit he is and texting you late at night to come to his room n you barely get through the door b4 he’s grabbing at you n telling you how much he missed your body n how he was *thinking* of you before n j URGH lemme get dat pls đŸ€ČđŸ€Č
warning: body worship, eating out
itadori yuuji x fem!reader
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AHDHSJJS FIRST OF ALL THANK YOUUU that’s so sweet!!! <3 second of all, girl i gotchu
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“for fuck’s sake.” the shuffle of your sneakers along the corridor was almost too loud in the otherwise quiet space, phone screen lit up and reflecting back at you as you scrolled through the text messages that had gotten you into this situation in the first place.
one peaceful night was what you wanted. one goddamn full night’s rest. oh... but it was so hard to ignore him, no matter what time he texted you.
the amount of times you wanted to pretend to be asleep was outshone by the fact that you always wanted to talk to yuuji. eccentric and playful, he hit all the points on your ‘boyfriend checklist.’
arriving in front of his door, you sighed, clicking your phone screen off and stuffing the device into your back pocket—you hoped that he hadn’t asked you to come over to play uno at 2 a.m. again. the “can you please come over?” text had been fairly ominous, but truthfully you wouldn’t mind just cuddling up to him and falling asleep if he wanted.
you twisted the doorknob—he always left his room unlocked like a dummy (a cute dummy) and by this point you knew to spare yourself the knocking, knowing a reply of “it’s open!” would just reach you from inside.
the door creaked open under a single push and you stepped inside the familiar room, the movement already rehearsed in your mind during the walk from your dorm over to his.
“yuuji, what do you-”
heavy lips against the corner of your mouth interrupted you when someone pulled you into their chest—they’d missed your own lips in their haste but your mouth fell open in shock all the same, you squeaking as you stumbled into their arms, trying to find something to grab ahold of. your hands found warm shoulders to dig into as your regained your balance and you barely registered the click of the door shut behind you.
steady now, you untangled yourself from the person, pulling back to find yuuji staring back at you—of course it was him, this was his room after all.
he was already diving back into your lips before you could speak, and you know what? you let him. his mouth was hot when it pressed to yours and when his hand on your back pushed your waist closer to him and you felt the nudge of something hard against your leg, you decided he could do whatever he wanted to you at that point.
your arms travelled up from his shoulders to loop around his neck properly and he held you against him, so sweet and boyish when his tongue hungrily nudged between your lips, asking for entrance.
yuuji tilted his head back from yours enough to speak once he’d had his fill of shoving his tongue down your throat, hands wandering down to rub at you through your shorts. “do you know how long i’ve been thinking about this?” his voice was husky, eyes glazed over—he was lost to his desires already.
his fingers cupped your mound, shoving the pads of them against your cunt through the fabric, making you whine. “fuck, you’re so perfect.” a quick kiss to your lips. “always so much better than what i imagine.” another kiss, but this time, when he tried to pull away, you tugged him back.
you ground down on his fingers, nipping at his lips, legs shaking. “yuuji, h-harder.” he did as he was told, pressing along your underside blindly until he found your clit, knowing it was the right spot when you let out a surprised, “oh—”
then his hands were back on your sides (despite how much he loved the feeling of you melting against his chest from barely anything at all, the heat radiating from your pussy evident even without him directly touching it) and when he whispered, “jump,” into your ear, you did as you were told, his arms catching you easily and hoisting you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist, grinding your cores together. once again, you were thanking the universe for blessing you with such a strong boyfriend.
yuuji was pushing his face into your neck, breathing you in, babbling, tasting the skin—everything. “i’ve missed you. missed you so, so much.” his lips tickled, leaving behind a trail of fire and goosebumps in their wake, and you were holding onto him for dear life—it was as though sometimes he didn’t realize what he did to you (actually, you were sure that was the case now that you thought about it). he was always so needy, just a few hours apart seeming to drive him wild. it was flattering and you also maybe found it a little more hot than you probably should.
“couldn’t cum without you. mmm... needed your pretty pussy.” fuck. he just kept talking and talking, and the thought of him laying on his bed, frustrated, cock gripped in his palm as he fantasizedïżŒ about you only a few doors down was filling your mind, your wild imagination going straight to the building heat in your body.
from this angle, your head was just a little above his and you pushed lightly on the back of his neck to bury his face further into you, breath hitching when he bit at your collarbone. “don’t worry, i’m here now, baby. you can do whatever you want,” you cooed, finding it hard to keep your voice steady.
his movements paused for a moment, only his warm breath continuing to fan against you, and then he looked up, eyes wide. “really?”
leaning down to peck his nose, you swallowed thickly at the look in his eyes, nodding. “really.”
your head spun when he immediately turned on his heels away from the door and instead walked further into the room, dropping you onto the bed not far away. you bounced when you landed on the soft surface and tried to sit up, but yuuji was already crawling between your legs, hands planted on the covers as he leaned up to kiss you, gently pushing you to lay down. you allowed yourself to fall completely back, heart beating as you stared at the ceiling. yeah, you had ended up on his bed like you thought you were going to but... it seemed like your plans of cuddling had gone completely out the window.
a tug at your shorts had you glancing downwards, seeing that he had wasted no time settling in front of you, nipping at your thighs and tugging at your bottoms. yuuji met your burning gaze when he felt it on him, his lips attached to your upper thigh—it was a pretty sight, the blooming reds resulting from none other than your own handiwork on his mouth. his eyes were wide and lustful—cute yet making your stomach do flips as only he could.
“let me taste you, please.” hoarse voice begging, he was already running a finger close to your still-covered crotch, blinking up at you and waiting for permission. he was desperate, eyes flicking down momentarily to work your shorts down just over your hip bones as he placed a lopsided kiss to your clit through them. his eyes were back on yours. “can i? you want to cum on my tongue, don’t you? you’re going to let me tongue fuck you, yeah?”
fuck, fuck, fuck. “oh my god,” you whispered, taking in his wide blown pupils. you frantically nodded at his words, if only to shut him up before you came from that.
yuuji grinned and you were absolutely done with him because it was the same cheesy smile he always gave you and, quite frankly, it wasn’t fair if he was doing it while slick dripped out of you and onto his fingers holding your underwear to the side. you wanted to hate him for driving you wild by just being him, but it turns out you were incapable of that as well.
he buried his face in your clothed cunt, pressing light kisses to it and murmuring praise about how you were so perfect, fingers working to blindly pull your bottoms down. you helped him by shimming out of them and kicking them off to the side (shoes tumbling off when you pressed them off at the heel—you’d also pulled your phone out of your pocket and chucked it somewhere further up the bed for safe keeping in a single moment of clarity), spreading your legs for him to lean down between again, knees bent and feet planted firmly on the bed.
he took a moment to admire your pussy, the dripping lips fully on display before him, and for once he was quiet, nearly drooling.
“yuu-”
his tongue was on the folds and licking a stripe up, your thighs closing in to squeeze his head closer in surprise and you pulling on his hair, your grip so strong you were almost afraid of some of the strands coming loose (or you would be if you could think straight that is).
his hands locked around your thighs and he slid you closer to him, licking and sucking as though he were starved. you yelped and clung to the bed sheets as he dragged you closer, completely caught off guard by everything and legs burning as they bounced from the onslaught at your core. “yuuji-”
“such a good girl, opening yourself up to me.” he kissed your clit, lips so soft, and humming praise. “love it when you spread open for me. fuck, love it so much, always thinking about it.”
when yuuji’s tongue poked at your heat and then wiggled its way past the entrance, slipping in with little resistance from your wet hole, curses and whines fell from your lips. he worked the muscle in and out of you, curling it perfectly against your walls to hit the weak spots inside of you before he removed it to speak again, caught up in his own thoughts, saying anything that came to mind. his lack of filter had you pressing your fingers into the back of his head with a death grip, mind reeling.
“you’re perfect, so perfect. i love this pretty pussy.” yuuji flattened his tongue against your slit, words vibrating into you. “gonna make you cum from just my tongue. going to make this pretty pussy cum from just my tongue.” and that he did. if there was anything yuuji was, it was someone who could deliver on his promises. “it’s what my pretty baby deserves.”
you don’t know how long it took him, whether it be a few short minutes or long hours that had flashed by (you had your bet on the former considering you were already ready to cum for him as soon as he’d set to work kissing and grinding against you as soon as you’d walked in the door, although you truthfully wouldn’t be surprised at either option), but yuuji hadn’t let up once on you until you were coming undone all over his tongue, too fucked out of your mind to try to last any longer. his tongue just kept going, sliding along your folds to take up everything, relishing the taste of your jucies.
your legs were jumping at the feeling, chest heaving, and you tugged at his hair to pull him up—it was so good, yet almost too much—
when he finally emerged, lower half of his face covered in slick, he was on you again, pinning you to the mattress and kissing you—he’d quickly swiped the back of his hand across his face so it wasn’t too wet, but you could still taste yourself on his tongue, mumbling around him at the taste.
“yuuji—”
even though he had finally left your cunt alone, you still felt overwhelmed as his hands drew shapes over your skin, tracing up your sides and running over your curves. “perfect—fuck—you’re so perfect. your body is perfect, perfect, perfect. want you so baddd.”
you whimpered into his mouth, unable to reply in any other way. yuuji was nuzzling his face against yours, lips landing everywhere and no where at once. “you tasted so good,” he practically moaned at the memory. he licked his lips to taste you all over again and you could feel the wetness against the side of your mouth when he did so, your faces pressed so close together you could feel every little pull of his facial muscles.
“yuuji— ugh, fuck.” you shoved your hand in front of his mouth to stop him for a moment, his latest kiss landing on your palm and still somehow making you shiver.
his eyes were wide as he blinked down at you, hands stilled on your stomach. “babe?” his voice was muffled around your hand. “did i... did i do something wrong?”
“wha- yuuji, what? baby, no, of course not.” he let you pull him to rest on your chest and you stroked his hair soothingly as he tried to peer up at you, straining his neck. “you did so well. made me cum so well.” you kissed his forehead and he squeezed one eye closed when you did so, melting at the feeling. “i just think it’s time to help you out a little, hm?”
you cut off the protest he was surely about to make about how getting you off was enough for him when your leg purposefully brushed against the front of him, his dick solid on you even under the layers. he groaned and buried his face further into your chest. the opening and closing of his lips in silent pants rubbed on your breasts still hidden under your t-shirt—you didn’t even think he was aware of it, but you sure were—and he nodded meekly in reply when you mumbled out a quiet, “okay, baby?” into his hair.
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h0neypjm · 4 years ago
Text
Just for practice | kth
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↳ Summary: “I think we should normalise giving head to your friends as practice.”
↳ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, slight Hoseok x reader
↳ Genre: Smut, pwp, some plot i guess, best friend! Taehyung
↳ Rating: 18+
↳ Word count: 5.3k
↳ Warnings: swearing, lip biting, hickies, oral (both female and male receiving), rough blowjobs, spanking, fingering, squirting, big dick! Tae, possessiveness/jealousy, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap pls), dom/sub themes, Taehyung calls reader lots of pet names (sweetheart, darling, good girl), degradation, biting, slight cockwarming
↳ a/n: I’ve been having major writer’s block while writing confident :( however, i saw this tweet which prompted this lil oneshot hope you enjoy
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Jung Hoseok [ 2:15 PM ]
Am I gonna see you at Seokjin’s tomorrow?
You [ 2:16 PM ]
I’ll be there :)
Jung Hoseok [ 2:18 PM ]
You’re not gonna run away from me this time, right?
You [ 2:20 PM ]
No of course not haha
Jung Hoseok [ 2:21 PM ]
Is that a promise princess?
A sigh flies out of your mouth like wind through a window and you’re shucking off your glasses in an instant. Hoseok’s texts bringing back a flurry of memories that you wish to forget.
“Do you need help with your essay again?”
Your eyes are strained when they try to focus on Taehyung, your shoulders shrug in defeat. “No, I’m fine. It’s just-”
Taehyung knows immediately, he is your best friend after all. “Let me guess, It’s Hoseok isn’t it?” 
You slump in your seat while a pout is cutely drawn onto your face, you nod with dismay. “I really like him Tae, and every time we see each other, It’s like the universe has it out for me and tries to make sure I embarrass myself in front of him.”
Taehyung shuts his laptop because he knows there's no use in trying to write an essay while you speak about your utterly tragic love life. He thinks about your situation for a minute before he speaks.
“Yes, you might’ve spilled your beer on him and accidentally punched him in the eye, more than once. But, if he’s still texting you he’s obviously still into you. It’s a good sign sweetheart.” Taehyung pats your hand across the coffee table, a comforting smile adorning his handsome face.
Taehyung doesn’t know the full extent of your problem and the more you think about it the more embarrassing it becomes. So you smile back at him uttering a small thank you before turning back to your laptop.
Taehyung raises a brow, “wait, wait, hang on, something is still bothering you.” 
You frown, “it’s embarrassing.”
Taehyung shuffles around the corner of the coffee table as if you’re about to tell him a secret, though it’s just the two of you in his small apartment. “Just tell me, it can’t be that bad.”
“Taehyung it is that bad.” You tilt your head at him, pulling up the sleeves of your sweater around your tiny fists. “You’re gonna laugh at me.”
Taehyung feigns shock at your words, his hands placed on his heart for dramatic effect. “I would never laugh, and frankly I’m offended you think that low of me.” 
You roll your eyes, turning your body more towards him, deciding it wouldn't hurt letting Taehyung know the thoughts plaguing your mind. “Well, you know how Hoseok and I have been kind of flirty lately, right?” He nods in understanding. 
“I can tell he wants more than that, you know? His touches are small but I know exactly what he’s suggesting, and don’t get me wrong, the feeling is completely mutual because trust me I want that too. Really bad.” 
Taehyung hums, interrupting your soon-to-be graphic rambling. “I totally get it Y/N. Now let’s stop beating around the bush so I can help you.”
If Taehyung were a girl, this would be so much easier. You curse your eight-year-old self who just had to become friends with a boy because God, how do you even start?
Taehyung is a patient man, always giving you space before helping you but, in this situation, you feel it’s best to just rip the band-aid off. Taehyung if you can read my mind, please don’t laugh at me.
“I’venevergivensomeoneablowjob.”
You speak so suddenly, Taehyung’s not so sure he heard you correctly. “Huh?”
“Goddammit Tae”, you rub and your temples and avoid his stare. “I’ve never given someone a blowjob!”
His eyes are wide. “Oh” 
You hide your face into the table while your body internally cringes. At least he didn’t laugh. “See! You do think it’s bad.”
“I’m just surprised to be honest”, he reassures, leaning back onto his palms, strong brows pulled together in thought. “Shit Y/N, have you really never sucked a dick before?”
Sure, you’ve had sex many times (most of which have been extremely disappointing) but, it seems that most of your hookups want to get straight into fucking. No foreplay, no nothing. Just unseasoned, pleasureless fucking.
A groan rumbles out of your throat, “It just never happened! They were all about that hump and dump lifestyle I guess.”
Taehyung is utterly baffled at your statement. In Taehyung’s books, It is compulsory to treat every women like a queen. Preparing and edging them the perfect amount of times to see them crumble so sensually by his very doing. To Taehyung, seeing a woman cry out his name from experiencing the most explosive, leg-shaking orgasm was always his favourite part.
This is why Taehyung is absolutely shattered for you. “So, you’re also telling me no one has ever eaten you out?” You miserably nod, “that’s actually fucking evil!”
His words do not ease you one bit as you throw your head onto the seat behind you. “The way you say it makes me feel even worse. This is the sole reason why I run away from Hoseok and make a fool out of myself.”
Taehyung doesn’t say anything, the air floating around carrying an awkward silence. You don’t really care and you don’t expect Taehyung to think of a solution. Plus, you’re already embarrassed enough.
You might as well leave and ask one of your girlfriends for help, maybe finish your essay while you’re at it. You sigh, shutting your laptop and stacking your books together. 
However, the next sentence that flies out of Taehyung’s mouth makes you stop dead in your tracks.
“I think I’ve figured out how I can help you.”
Wiggling back into a comfortable seating position, you lean into Taehyung with interest. “And how might you help me, dear Taehyung?”
He eyes you nervously, his fingers fiddling with his chunky rings, “You trust me, right?”
You smile, “yeah, of course, you’re my best friend Tae.”
An exhale puffs out of his mouth. “Why not practice on me?”
You almost choke on your spit. You definitely did not expect him to say that. “Could you repeat that please?”
A new glint of mischief sparkles in his eye. “Why not let me teach you how to give Hoseok the blowjob of his life and in return, I’ll eat you out”
Your brain is having a meltdown. 
“You’re fucking crazy”, you wail. “You actually want me to suck your dick?”
He brings his hands up in defence, “I think we should normalize giving head to your friends as practice, I don’t think it’s such a bad idea. Think about it, you get to learn and cum at the same time.”
You won’t lie to yourself, the proposal is tempting and in all honesty, Taehyung is hot as fuck. You will forever thank the Gods above for blessing you with the delicious sight that is your best friend. However, the proposition puts you in an odd spot.
Apprehensive about your thoughts, you state your unease, “I-I don’t know Taehyung, don’t you think this might ruin our friendship?” An exhale, “have you seriously thought of me that way?”
Taehyung chuckles, it’s deep and totally unexpected to your question. “Sweetheart, there are many things that go on inside my head involving you. And to answer your question, they’re not completely innocent.”
A startled gasp is ripped from your throat and your stomach flutters with a dangerous mix of nervousness, thrill and dare you say arousal.
Never in your life would you have imagined Kim Taehyung, your best friend since grade school, seeing you in such an inviting way. To make matters worse, It was intimidating to think about his fair share of experience and the long line of women backing up the fact that Taehyung was indeed some sort of sex demon.
Of course, you felt the same way. How could you not! The man was practically an incarnation of a Greek God. Broad sturdy shoulders that sat atop thick muscular thighs, and how could you forget his gorgeous fingers.
You’d die before you admit it, but there have been many nights where you have found yourself thinking about what his pretty long fingers could do to you. Those nights always ended with a mess of your sheets and a wetness between your thighs. It was your dirty little secret, however, it seems Taehyung also had some of his own.
His sharp eyes storm with darkness when he speaks, “don’t lie Y/N, I know you’ve had some dirty thoughts about me up in that pretty little head of yours.”
Pink blossoms over your cheeks like wildfire because he’s so terrifyingly right. “I don’t even need to touch you sometimes, one look and you’re a goner.” You gulp. “Look at you right now.” His gaze drops down to your thighs. “All my talking making you so needy, you need to clench your thighs to keep it together.”
He smiles, though it’s not his usual boxy, boyish smile. It’s dangerous and seductive almost smirking and shit when did he get so close to you? Your breathing is erratic and you have no idea how you could be so anxious yet so amorous at the same time. 
Your heart beats rapidly in your ears. “This is just for practice, right?”
Taehyung curses under his breath, “just for practice sweetheart.”
You don’t get to respond.
His lips are hesitant at first when they meet yours, yet his hands say the opposite. They start at your waist and tickle their way down to your stiff hands. Ever so gently, he pries them open, intertwining his long fingers with yours, and God, did his hands feel so right.
Your nerves dissipate slowly but surely as you allow him to explore your mouth with his skilful tongue. 
Much to Taehyung’s dismay, he finds you releasing your fingers from his own. Your hands flying to the nape of his neck, ultimately bringing him closer to you, deepening the kiss. Taehyung moans in delight when you tug at his long curls, you bite his lip in reply while lust paints your vision and dampens your panties.
Taehyung never knew he would miss the feeling of your lips against his when he painfully pushes himself away to situate himself comfortably on the couch. It was time for the lesson to begin.
You pout at the distance, trying to wiggle close until he motions for you to get into a particular position. Your insides swell with eagerness.
His voice is sweet and his hands are delicate when he tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Get down on your knees for me sweetheart.” You obey immediately. He smirks at your sinking form. “Good girl.”
You swear right then and there your pussy had gained a working heartbeat at his words. The unfamiliar pulse thumping as if it were trying to break loose from the constraints of your sweatpants.
Your eyes are big and expectant, slowly drinking up the sight of Taehyung’s delicious figure seated above you. He sits on the couch like it’s his throne, legs spread to accompany your kneeling figure, and dominating stare pinning you down. A shiver runs down your spine.
“Wh-what do I do now?” You utter, making it known to Taehyung that he is in charge. He is in control.
Taehyung cocks his head to the side, using a decorated pointer finger to hither your hands towards him. Hesitantly, you raise both hands, lightly placing them down on his thighs.
A click of his tongue makes its way to your ears and you know you’ve already made your first mistake. Taehyung’s brows furrow, it’s obvious you need to make the next move but your brain is fuzzy and flustered. 
He sighs at your confused silence, bringing your small hands onto his belt. Oh, you know what you’re supposed to do now.  
“I thought you were smarter than this, how else are you meant to get my dick out, hmm?” The blush across your cheeks has definitely spread profusely from his teasing. Its once peachy pink tone deepening into an embarrassing cherry red.
The buckle of his belt jingles under your fingertips as you nervously undo them. You’re apparently too slow for his liking, Taehyung finishing the job by pulling his belt off his pants, leaving you to stare down at the large bulge covered by the fabric of his tight jeans. You thought you had your nerves under control but the way your hands start to shake is an indication that this is real. You’re really about to suck your best friend off.
Ever the observant friend, Taehyung is quick to notice the slight shake in your fingers. “Wait, stop.”
You do as he says, quickly settling your palms back on the thickness of his covered thighs. “Are you sure you want to do this? your hands are shaking sweetheart.” His voice is laced with concern, a total switch to his previous words.
Clearing your throat you reply, “oh, no, no I’m fine.” You lock eyes. “I just want to make sure I’m doing good so I can be good for him.”
Possessiveness flares within Taehyung’s chest and he has no idea why. Although he doesn’t let it show, he can’t help the swell of his ego at the knowledge that he’s the first to get you like this. Not Hoseok. Him.
So, he grins his wide boxy grin, dragging a finger down your warm cheek. “Don’t worry darling, you’re in great hands”
The commanding smirk etched onto his lips sparks a surge of confidence through your veins, begging you to finally touch him.
With a tug of your small hands, Taehyung’s constricting jeans are pried off the taut muscle of his thighs and are left to pool around his ankles. The excitement of finally being able to suck dick coursing through your body like lighting, and just like his jeans, Taehyung’s boxers are off in a second.
His cock springs, tall, hard and proud. Your jaw drops, Taehyung chuckles at your reaction. You feel an ooze of wetness pooling in your panties.
His size is nothing you’ve seen before, thick and girthy with an impressive length to match. You wince at the thought of fitting him down your throat.
The cold metal of his rings against your hands brings your attention to Taehyung’s handsome face. Without breaking any eye contact, he wordlessly wraps your hands around the thickness of his cock.
It’s warm and swells in your palm, your two dainty hands stacked on top of each other. Fingers trying so hard to wrap themselves around the sheer girth of his cock.
You’re not dumb, you know what comes next. With a sharp inhale you begin to stroke up his length, paying close attention to his facial expression to get an idea of how well you’re doing
Taehyung’s head tilts to get a better view at your hands, “grip it tighter for me
 yeah fuck that’s it.”
His praise boasts you on, holding tighter onto his cock and gathering the slick of his pre-cum with a twist of your wrist. Your eyes remain focused on the way the skin moves with your hands and the way his tip glistens with arousal. You want to lick it.
“When you’re ready you can put your mouth- Ahh shit Y/N!”
He didn’t need to finish his sentence when you’re already so eager to have him in your mouth. You do what you think would feel best, sucking on the head of his cock like a sweet ice lolly on a hot summer's day. Your tongue tracing the thick circumference before dipping into his slit.
A light groan falls from his mouth as he watches you lap at the remaining pre-cum that glistens in the afternoon light. Taehyung almost forgets why he’s here, lost in your plump lips wet with saliva.
Right, he’s here to teach you how to give a blowjob. “Try and take my whole length in darling.” 
You nod, taking a deep breath, your mouth opening wider to take him in as far as you can. You try to keep your throat relaxed taking him inch by inch.
“That's a good girl”, he praises, “you’re doing so well for me.” 
Your knees squeeze together, acting to relieve some pressure on your aching heat. It had truly been a while since you got some serious action.
Surprisingly you’re able to make your way to the hilt of his cock, a choked gag sputtering from your lips.
A few strands of hair fall in your face, blocking your eyes in the process. Swiftly, Taehyung brushes the hair from your eyes while simultaneously lifting your head off of his cock. 
You release him with a satisfying pop, your eyes wide and makeup a little smudged. Taehyung coaches you through the next steps. “I want you to try and do that again, but when you come back up, lick the length of my cock and look at me while you do it.”
Humming in acknowledgment you grip the base of his cock before pausing. “Isn’t this what you like though? What if Hoseok likes to be touched in a different way?”
An unintentional growl bubbles out of his mouth. Oh how he wished he could take your mind off Hoseok and have you screaming his name, thinking about him instead.
He pushes down his discontentment with the other man on your mind, “men are simple creatures Y/N, just making out sometimes can get them going. And judging by the way you’re sucking my cock right now, I’m sure Hoseok will be crazy for you.”
As Taehyung explains the ins and outs of a man’s brain, you don’t make an effort to stop the teasing of his cock. His words sound slurred, they go in one ear and out the other, and besides the delicious length in front of you is much more fascinating.
For the time being you stare up at him, your eyes wide feigning interest in his words, all while you grip his cock in one hand and continuously lap at his tip with a kitten-like flick of your tongue. 
Taehyung finally realises that you’ve stopped listening when he feels the small yet downright sensual pleasure shooting through his cock. He grunts, pushing your hair back once again, “fuck, that’s hot. You’re so fucking good.”
His preoccupied hand squeezes the pillows beside him, the veins of his hands popping out. You do what he taught you, seductive eyes laser focused on him while your wicked tongue leaves a hot trail up the prominent vein on his dick.
“Shit Y/N you’re doing so well-”
You release him from your mouth disrupting his sentence, “can you fuck my throat?”
Taehyung swears his whole body just convulsed at your request. He looks away just so he can contain himself because holy shit.
Obviously Taehyung has thought about you being in this position, saying those words. Yet, no matter how many times he fantasizes this scenario, nothing would ever prepare him for those words to actually come out of your mouth with the most bewitching grin plastered on your pretty face.
He stutters, “I- no, I don’t know if you can take it darling.”
You grip his thighs, pout forming on those dangerous lips of yours, “please Tae, I want it. Want you to use me.”
Taehyung pushes the curls of his bangs away, a hiss steaming from his lips. “Alright, but if you feel any discomfort pinch my thigh, okay sweetheart?”
You’re impatient, “yeah, yeah, I can take your monster dick.” You place a small kiss on his thigh, “do your worst.”
His movements are all too fast, all too sudden. His fingers securing a death-grip on the mess of your hair before holding his cock up to your mouth. “You asked for it darling.”
Your mouth automatically widens, welcoming the rough intrusion of his cock as it slides all the way down your throat. A lewd gag fills the room.
A dark cloud of lust of dominance fogs Taehyung’s vision, his biceps flexing when he brings your head up and down his thick velvety length.
The room resounds with the filthy wet noises of your saliva covered lips pumping repeatedly. Taehyung breathes heavily through his nose, tilting his head against the cushions behind him. He keeps his hips still, yanking your hair at an obscene pace. A slew of curses and moans fly out into the air as he revels at the complete state of ecstasy you’ve put him under.
The heat of his member burns the back of your throat but you fucking love it. You open your teary eyes, gazing at his chiseled jaw and the way he shivers and groans above you. It only spurs you on when he glances back down, meeting your mascara ruined eyes.
It’s like a knee-jerk reaction. Taehyung harshly pushes your head all the way to the base of his cock. Your face is met with his abdomen, the hairs of his happy trail tickling your nose.
He leaves you there, and the burn in your throat rises, leaving you gagging, your throat tightening around him.
Taehyung believes after this he could never get the image of your messy docile eyes and tarnished lips out of his brain. He feels your throat constrict, “sh-shit, fuck Y/N, breathe through your nose.” You inhale. “That’s my good girl.”
He releases you from his member only to push your lips back onto him, going back to his beastly pace. “You look so fucking pathetic, you think Hoseok wants a messy girl like you?”
You gurgle around him, tears freely falling down your cheeks as you try to shake your head no. He only mumbles out a groan, his cock abruptly pulsing under your tongue like a steady heartbeat.
It's all too sudden when he releases your head off his length, a glob of drool dripping down your chin and onto your shirt. 
“Fuck sorry I was about to cum.”
Although your heart swells with pride you wonder, “why didn’t you?”
He runs a hand through his messy locks, “the purpose of this was to teach you, don’t you still want to practice?”
You’re smug with your answer, “I think I’ve got the hang of it now.”
He swipes a finger under your tear stained eyes, “getting cocky now are we.” 
You were cocky indeed, “well I did get you shaking under my touch didn’t I?”
He rolls his eyes, “get up you brat, I’m gonna show you what you’ve been missing out on.”
Fucking finally.
You won’t lie, you were probably most excited to finally know what it feels like to receive head. Your mind is still fuzzy from Taehyung’s rough ministrations as you slowly get up. You wobble slightly and Taehyung is quick to stabilize you with two strong arms holding the curve of your hips in place.
With his arms already around you he pushes you towards the couch, kicking his jeans off in the process.
Back flat against his plush couch you’re already stripping off your sweatpants and panties together in one. “My, my aren’t you eager”, he teases, a glint of shamelessness twinkling in his brown orbs when he drinks up the plushness of your thighs leading to your dripping cunt.
Holding your knees in the palm on his hands, he spreads them open to reveal the glossy folds on your heat. He kisses his teeth, satisfaction and hunger clear on his face. “Fuck, isn’t this a pretty sight.”
His words bring back a blush on your cheeks, you pull him forward, your lips inches away from his own. “Shut up please.”
And he shuts you up real good. Smashing your lips to his, he envelopes you into a feverish kiss, your tongues dancing the devil's tango.
His hands are adventurous, feeling the mounds of your breasts over your shirt. “Why the fuck isn’t your shirt off yet huh?” He tuts, pulling on the cotton fabric.
“I want yours off too.” You cutely mumble tugging at the hem of his shirt, to which he complies, tugging it off in one fluid motion. 
You peel your baggy shirt off just in time to see Taehyung's arm flex as he takes his very own shirt off. “Have you been working out? My God Tae, you're as big as Joon.”
He inwardly smirks because yeah he’s been working out and it's clearly paying off. He doesn’t want to show his glee however, “can we not talk about other men when I’m about to eat you out.”
You chuckle, eyes trailing down his buff arms to his v-line that leads to his dick like an arrow directing you to his treasure. You bite your lip, unclipping your lace bralette, “sure, sure, let’s get the show on the road.”
It’s Taehyung turn to drink up the sight of your body. “Fuck, always imagined what these tits looked like under all those tight clothes you wear.”
He’s really feeding into your praise kink. “Well, were they what you expected?”
He sucks on one immediately and you arch your back at the unexpected pleasure. “Even better”, he squeezes them in his palms, “they’re fucking gorgeous.”
He sucks a deep hickey under your left breast, leaving you whimpering with a hand tangled in his hair. “Always imagined what you sounded like moaning for me.”
You can’t reply, his touches burning through your skin. He kisses down your sternum to your stomach until he’s hovering above your aching clit, a tantalising grin on his face before he’s diving in.
“Fuck!” You wail at the unfamiliar yet mesmerising feelings. His tongue is stiff and pointed, flicking quickly up and down your bundle of nerves. 
The grip you have on his hair is deathly but it's the only thing in your reach that can ground you. He licks a long stripe down your sopping slit, keeping his sharp eyes on you the whole time.
“F-feels so fucking good Tae!” You almost scream. He cups his lips around your swollen nub sucking on it with a shit-eating grin on his face.
You’re too dazed to comment on it, reeling in the new pleasures you’re experiencing. You stare down at him, your eyes half opened and so close to rolling to the back of your head.
However, they almost completely open wide at the sight presented before you. With two long fingers, Taehyung is shoving them in his mouth, soaking them with his spit before rubbing them onto your sensitive folds.
You beg. “Put them inside.. Please.” Taehyung doesn’t make a sound only kissing your clit as he plunges his ring decorated fingers into you.
You’re so wet his fingers slide into you with ease. He groans at the sensation, his view focused on the way your cunt greedily sucks him in.
“Look at you, getting my rings all dirty you filthy girl”, he scolds watching the way your essence drips into the crevices of his intricate jewellery. 
Taehyung increases the pace of his long fingers, finger fucking you into euphoria. He doesn’t stop there, his lips returning to your desperate clit in a wet mess of your juices and his saliva.
You can feel your orgasm bubbling in your stomach. It's hot and feels so unlike any other upcoming orgasm you’ve experienced. His fingers curl inside of you, his palm slapping your folds with his rapid pace and his lips don’t give any sign of stopping.
“Taehyung- Tae, I’m cumming!” You really scream this time, your orgasm taking control over your body like a demon. 
You swear your eyes black out, your body shaking, a warmth gushing out of your cunt as it spazzes out.
Your chest heaves and you blink, feeling a damp pool around you. Oh God, Did you piss yourself?
“Holy fuck Y/N, I can’t believe you just did that.”
You sit up, embarrassed, an apology falling from your lips.
“You just squirted on me.”
You’re flushed, “I- what?”
Taehyung almost looks akin to a wolf hunting down his prey. “That was the hottest fucking experience of my life, holy shit I’m so hard.”
Well at least you didn’t pee on his couch. There’s a surge of overwhelming need for his cock to be inside of you. You’ve never felt this way before, it’s scary but so is this whole experience. It’s definitely one for the books.
Getting up on your knees you hold onto his shoulders, Taehyung raises a brow. “Fuck, I need to ride you, can I ride you?”
You think you just saw his dick twitch at your words. He grins, “just for practice?”
Your smile is sickly sweet, “of course, just for practice.”
His arms are strong when he shuffles into a seated position all while holding your hips above his awaiting cock.
He pauses, a flash of his normal self resurfacing. “You’re on the pill yeah?”
You peck his lips, “yes, now stuff me full.”
That’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s sinking you down onto his length. 
You both let out moans of pleasure at the feeling of being complete. The stretch hurts so bad but hurts so good. He fills you up so well it has you speechless, the air trapped inside your lungs refusing to be released until your walls are comfortable around his impressive girth.
Mumbling a soft curse, you swivel your hips in slow circles, getting used to his large size. Taehyung watches you, hunger written on his face as he licks his lips and examines the way you fit so perfectly on his lap.
You test the waters, holding onto his shoulders for support. You lift your hips and settle back onto his lap. He groans at the wet squelch it makes and slaps your ass, grabbing it in his hand to squeeze it.
You pick up the speed, pumping up and down, whimpering at how well he fills you up. You keep your gaze trained on the image of his dick disappearing in your heat and pulling out with a wet sheen.
Taehyung tucks a finger under your chin, bringing you close to his face to push his soft lips onto yours once again.
It’s weird to say, but you don’t think you can get tired of kissing your best friend. He knows exactly what you want and knows exactly how to make your head spin.
With his large hands of yours, you pick up the pace, slamming your ass onto his hips. You leave his lips, kissing the side of jaw and suckling a few lovebites behind his ear.
His voice is deep and sultry, “fuck yeah, that’s it.” You wail in his hold, pushing yourself to meet his thrusts below. Your thighs burn but the pleasure burns so much hotter.
You feel your second orgasm of the night rising within you and can tell Taehyung is close too. Taehyung assists you, using his thighs to push up into you. Your juices drip down onto his pelvis and both of your breaths get heavier.
His thrusts are fast and rough, creating loud slapping noises that echo around his empty apartment. He grunts, folding his head into the crook of your neck. He’s about to cum and so are you.
With one final gasp your release hits you like a truck. Your thigh shakes in his lap and Taehyung bites at the delicate skin of your neck. His warm seed shoots inside of you, eliciting a small sigh from your lips.
Taehyung releases his hold to lean back onto the couch. He keeps his softening cock inside of you, lazily staring at your fucked out expression.
You play with his rings, “well, how did I do?”
The shit-eating grin is back. “Hmmm, I think you may need more practice.”
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philsmeatylegss · 2 years ago
Note
omg yes pls make the list of fics
This is the most important list I’ll ever make
Here’s the very important list of fics I read once a week (or ones i recently found that I predict I will read once a week)
Big shoutout to @phanfictioncatalogue as ao3 scares me and I wouldn’t have found it without them
Some of these are a bit dark because I’m emo uh pls read tags
A Stolen Ring (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Dan’s not normal. Why?
He's not human, he has a mysterious ring, and he hates Phil Lester. They have a strange past, one filled with bullying and avoidance, but when Dan turns into an incubus, everything changes. He struggles with his identity and cries himself to sleep most nights, yearning to be normal. And somehow the universe makes it worse by bringing him and Phil together - in the most literal sense.
Absolutely Lovely (ao3) - Autumn_Kismet
Summary: His friends and family think he's acting strange, they're worried that he's depressed again, but Dan doesn't see it. The only thing he sees is the new guy at school, the quirky one with the black hair and stunning blue eyes, and that's bad. So bad... because he likes him, and Dan can't like him. Dan can't be gay. He'll lose his family, he'll lose his friends... he'll become just like his father, and that's the last thing that he wants in the entire world. It's a scary thought that he doesn't think will ever go away and if there's the possibility of that happening, of him becoming the disgusting monster that his father was, or is, then maybe the world is better off without him, regardless of what PJ's dad, his mum's new husband, has to say.
Believe in Me (ao3) - Elleberquist6
Summary: Dan Howell is living at home while he’s saving money for college, which isn’t easy since his parents don’t understand him. Unlike them, he loves dogs, is a vegetarian, has no interest in the family business, and he despises the supernatural. He struggles to accept things that are illogical, even though he is a kitsune. Kitsune are foxes whose powers involve the ability to cast illusions, but Dan just wants to be normal. Phil Lester has just moved to London, where he works as a dog walker. When his path crosses with Dan, Phil is eager to get to know him. Unfortunately, Phil soon finds that being friends with Dan is far more complicated than he could have imagined.
Break Me (ao3) - MySecretsX
Summary: In this world, you're marked with black. That's if you have a soulmate at least. Everyone is destined to cross paths with the one who is meant for them, at least once in their lives.
When you and your soulmate meet, you will touch, if only briefly, and the exact area of skin you touch with the other turns from black to white, with streaks of blue, purple, yellow, all marbled in with each other.
Daniel Howell is well-known in town. People cross the street if they're approaching him and newcomers to the neighbourhood are warned about his presence. Exactly like the Lester's were. But Phil Lester has other ideas, he saw the pain within the boy, how bad can he really be?
Bury Your Flame (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)
Summary: After receiving a dragon egg when his grandfather passed away, Phil is forced to ask for help from the local dragon tamer. As he soon finds out, Dan Howell is nothing he’s been expecting. Infuriating, ludicrous, and completely lacking respect, Dan is everything Phil hates. But Phil will do anything to make his grandfather proud, even if that means getting help from the local cluck.
Cat and Mouse - jilliancares
Summary: Dan Howell is the Panther. He's evil, nefarious, ingenious, and good at coming up with adjectives for himself. The Raven is a nuisance, but he's definitely the most fun part when it comes to being a villain. As a child, Dan had been scared of his powers. He'd been weak. He'd become strong, though. Strong enough to torment the city; strong enough to annoy the Raven with every opportunity he got. 
changes (turn and face the strange) (ao3) - happy_hufflepuffle
Summary: Kath likes to think she doesn't miss things when it comes to her family. But maybe this time she did.
Or, Kath watches Phil through the years.
Christmas Coming Out (ao3) - FandomFeels17
Summary: He didn't intend to come out to his mum in his future mother in law's kitchen at Christmas... But here he was, doing exactly that.
class a klutz (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Dan's an asshole who stars in high quality films and Phil's just a clumsy idiot who has bad timing.
Dogs - dans-awkward-phanfics
Summary: Phil’s dog has the habit of getting him into bad situations and Dan is Phil’s next door neighbour that seems to hate him and his dog. Oddly enough, their dogs like each other. Really like each other.
Ethereal (ao3) - Sinncity
Summary: Dan’s not normal. In fact, he’s never met a single person exactly like him. No one else can move objects with their mind, just by a simple thought. He lives life carefully, limited interactions and semi-non-existent social life. That is, until a pair of sapphire eyes change everything.
Get Out Your Damn Umbrellas (ao3) - llamalamp
Summary: Phil's only gone for one weekend.
Apparently that's all the time it takes for everything to fall apart.
Head Down Low - camisadan
Summary: Dan isn’t right. He’s not like most of the others, he’s not genetically pure. He has no destined path, he has nothing going for him in life. He’ll be lucky to get himself a job in a fast food kitchen, and everyone looks down on him like he’s a piece of dirt stuck at the bottom of their shoe. Except one person: Phil Lester.
I love him (ao3) - Misha_with_wings
Summary: Phil had hidden who he really was for such a long time that he was scared of people knowing the truth.
Luckily Dan comes into his life, making him feel safe and so extremely happy.
Dan makes Phil feel less scared to be himself, and he finally feels comfortable and ready to come out and show the real side of him.
No more fear, no more secrets, no more hiding.
I Want It, I Got It (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)
Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie starring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.
Make Me Feel Like Someone Else - sin-n-city
Summary: His strong persona is gone, broken into a million pieces and it feels as though all of him is shattered. "They kicked me out." Phil doesn't know it in him to walk away now. 
Or the one where Dan gets kicked out of home for admitting his gay and runs into a guy named Phil, who doesn't have it in him to let Dan stay on the streets.
Midnight Garden (ao3) - silentdescant
Summary: In which Phil is a gardener at the palace and Dan is a reclusive prince.
pastry chef attempts to steal phil's heart (ao3) - sierraadeux
Summary: If anyone asks, Prince Philip's sneaky morning journeys down to the royal pastry kitchen are for nothing more than the perfect cup of coffee.
restless (ao3) - overwhelmedbysonder
Summary: Breathe. Just breathe.
In. Out. In. Out. In.
It’s not that I don’t try. I see my family, my friends, visiting with their faked smiles and forced laughter, desperately trying to pretend that things are fine, that nothing’s changed. I see them and I want to reach out, I want to look at them and smile and reassure them that I’m here and I’m fine and I’m here, but I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.
Or, the one where Phil struggles with depression, PTSD and being mute, and Dan just wants to hug him.
Shut Your Mouth and Listen Closely (ao3) - SimplyUndead
Summary: Dan is mute with an unfortunate past. Phil is a nice boy with a warm heart and love to give.
The Blind Boy - jilliancares
Summary: Dan Howell liked to think of his entire life as a series of tragic accidents. Because really, how many people can say that they managed to become blind and obtain a supposedly Cute Boy’s hate all in the span of one year? And Phil Lester has not had the best school life, so in order to avoid bullying or a bad reputation, he refuses to take shit from anyone at this new school. Even if that someone just so happens to be blind.
The Music In Me (ao3) - DiamondValley
Summary: Phil takes on Martyn’s bet that he can’t learn to play the piano and gets lessons to prove him wrong. He expects a few things:
- He’ll be terrible
- He’ll get bored very quickly because he is terrible
- Martyn will win the bet, but he’ll have tried something new and completed his new year’s resolution
What he doesn’t expect is the instant connection he forms with his curly-haired piano teacher.
the second tetris block (ao3) - dizzy
Summary: Things seem to be falling into place for Phil.
The Slave Boy (ao3) - Phandiction
Summary: On his eighteenth birthday Phil receives a quiet and timid slave boy as a gift from his father. Phil intends to make Dan his friend more than a slave but social status and pressure from his father forces the two to keep an emotional distance when it comes to being in public. Behind closed doors though the Master and his slave become close. Phil is expected to take over his father's business and marry a prestigious young girl but this isn't what the young Master wants. What he wants is something he can't have in his world, his slave boy.
they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail
Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.
She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.
They'll Tear Us Apart If You Give Them the Chance (ao3) - orphan_account
Summary: Dan and Phil are both princes and they've been taught to hate each other their whole lives. They meet in a forest.
Those Who Trust - theshyauthor
Summary: (TW) Dan used to be a submissive and now he’s just a broken shell of a man.
Trust Me, I'm Broken Too (ao3) - natigail
Summary: The Lesters – the royal family of his homeland – was nothing like Dan thought they would be. Well, the King was just as horrible as he had heard but the King’s brother’s son, who was third in line for the throne, was nothing like Dan thought he’d be. Dan had been adrift for three years going from one “place of employment” to another, only his life was seen as worthless and he was more property than an employee. He had never imagined he’s end up as the property of Prince Philip.
The Prince had no intention of ever taking on a personal servant, which was a fancy name to disguise the fact a law essentially enslaved people. Phil often had to do things he didn’t want to or risk being removed from the succession to the crown. If that happened, who knew who his tyrant of an uncle would pick as a successor? When pressured into the choosing, he’d wanted to go for the most innocent, young girl, but hard brown eyes caught his attention instead.
Venus’s Looking Glass - auroraphilealis
Summary: Shy!punk!Phil has been crushing on confident!pastel!Dan for years now, but he’s never felt comfortable enough to do anything about it until he accidentally comes out to his brother Martyn, who is nothing but supportive. It’s Martyn’s idea to woo Dan with flowers - only, he didn’t mean do it anonymously.
we’ll never be royals (extended) - phanimist
Summary: royalty au where phil's the kind handsome prince and dan's a poor commoner who dreams of becoming world class musician. phil's parents hold a ball so he can meet his suitors, but he ends up falling for the pianist instead.
where we belong (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent
Summary: "Only you," Martyn says.
"Only me what?"
"Only you could end up stranded in the middle of nowhere with a gay author who writes gay books. Jesus Christ, Phil."
In which Phil is snowed in with nobody but the mysterious dark haired author next door for company.
Weather With You (ao3) - Evening42
Summary: Phil moves to an isolated cottage to start his dream of writing a novel. He meets a mysterious silent stranger on the beach who has a tragic history.
This is pathetic😭
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otherworldlyrps · 2 years ago
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𝖍𝖎𝖎 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 !! ♡ nothing like ringing in the new year with an updated permanent writing call !! my name is dana (25f) and i am eternally seeking solid 21+ partners for slice of life content on discord !! i am a multi-muse writer seeking all connections (mxf, mxm, fxf) all the time. ***note: i am very selective regarding mxm plots. i pen morally grey muses who originate from a variety of backgrounds and belong to a variety of age ranges. writing-wise, i am always seeking to capture life in all its beauty and wretchedness as closely as possible and, because of this, mature themes will present themselves throughout the course of my writing. ***please, please, p l e a s e read my guidelines for more information on this, as some of the content i touch on may be distressing/disturbing depending on one’s tolerance. i am seeking writers who are interested in creating constellations of sorts with our muses, ones that can then form an intricate, exciting universe for all our bbys. that being said, if you also enjoy playing out not just romantic connections but platonic/familial/work-related/etc. ones, i’m the writer for you !! pls see content below for more information: 
guidelines  |   my muses  |   ‘banned’ muse list
***D I S C L A I M E R S : i do NOT “double” so pls don’t ask !! in my experience, “doubling” almost always leads to unnecessary stress, pressure, and one story going neglected. additionally, i no longer collaborate with writers that only pen female and/or sub muses. PLEASE do not use me for my male muses, it’s extremely evident when someone is doing this and i don’t take to it kindly. all of this is non-negotiable territory for me. roleplaying should be a fun exercise in creativity, literacy, and leisure, that’s the whole point !! therefore, i am exclusively seeking writers who lovingly pen a strong, diverse array of muses and wish to bring engaging stories to life, collaboratively. mumus all the way ♡
i am always on the hunt for the following (this isn’t a comprehensive list):
age gaps. age gaps in all their glory, especially if it’s a younger man x older woman dynamic. exploring the excitement but also the struggles of individuals attempting to make something work whilst being in two completely different stages of life. 
forbidden relationships. for whatever reason, they shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t possibly be able to make it work, but that sure as hell doesn’t stop them from trying.
toxic lovers. the on-again-off-again lovers, the lovers who know that it would be the best for both of them to just let go but cannot find themselves doing so, the jealous, obsessive, the deranged, the bonnie and clydes, the generally unhinged intertwining themselves together. just, please. 
friends-to-lovers. this one speaks for itself !!
exes. see description above :) 
throuples, throuples, throuples baby !! i am mostly seeking an mxfxf, but i could also be swayed into mxfxm, fxfxf, and maybe an mxmxm (under very selective circumstances.)
growing pains. the agony that is the human existence, especially during the young adult years where everyone is just trying to orient themselves to what life is about. 
crime. cartels, mafias, gangs, the luxury but also the grime and danger that comes with operating underground, in the shadows of polite society.
apartment mumus. i can’t get enough of these !! any opportunities to integrate a diverse set of muses into one setting and play out their lives/how they intertwine, i am there for. 
if any of this captures your interest, please don’t hesitate to drop a lil ♡ below or feel free to reach out directly !!
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lustbile · 4 years ago
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To Provoke
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Incubus!HaechanxReader
Word Count: 4.4K
Warning: dom-ish haechan, semi public (alley way), oral&fingering, biting, blood consumption, & can maybe be interpreted as degrading but not really
notes: a resounding thank you to whoever gave haechan curls and horns im in love with you nct stylist person. I wrote this all today and it made me stupid so I will try to go through and do more editing. Also not that I think anyone would, but I made the edit for this, horns and all, and im asking politely no one repost it, i know it’s not the most extravagant edit but im asking u pls.
Nct Masterlists
Multi group Masterlist
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You were trying to provoke him.
You were always trying to provoke him.
Everything you did, every move, blink, sigh, and turn was an attempt to pull him from the shadows.
To admit you’re addicted to him is embarrassing, degrading even, especially with the way it fills his chest and wild eyes with hunger and pride. His ego was one thing that never needed to grow, big enough to fill every nook and cranny of the universe, but something about the way your pretty eyes would glitter at him in awe pushed it over the edge in free fall.
The outfit you chose to wear was maybe a bit too revealing for the weather, the nipping cold dancing along your shoulders and thighs in a way that makes your stomach clench and your teeth chatter. But it was the same outfit you had worn on the night you had met him, the outfit that his greedy fingers tugged and pulled on to get access to your skin, and it still had the smallest of tears in the seem from his impatience that night.
But it got you attention, and that's what mattered in the end.
He had always had a jealous streak, something he’d deny sharply if you had the nerve to accuse him, but that didn’t change the fact that some of your best nights with him were spent after he showed up to remind you that your body and skin were for him only. And that jealousy was the exact thing you needed to get him to show his face again.
It had been far too long since you had felt him last. You had no clue where he could have possibly ran off to for such a long time, but that didn’t stop the fire that was building in your belly. And no matter how many times you tried, your own wandering hands were never enough to quench your body’s thirst like he could.
The man you spoke to at the club meant less than nothing to you, even when you felt his growing excitement pressing against your back when you agreed to dance with him. The sloppy kisses you allowed him to press against the skin of your neck felt no different than just air as your mind was too distracted by the man that had taken ownership of your heart and soul so long ago, regardless of his absence.
It didn’t feel long before the lights became too bright, the alcohol that sloshed in your cup too bitter for your tongue, and the smell of the strange man too stale and unfamiliar. But when you pushed away from his chest and checked the time on your phone, while you ignored his grumbled complaints of you being a tease, you saw that it was only a handful of minutes past midnight.
You had stayed out much longer than that before, much later in fact and with glee, but something in your chest, a heavy and daunting weight, was pulling you towards the entrance on unsteady feet and a taunting disappointment on your shoulders.
Your mind still felt muggy even after you broke away from the stuffy environment of the building, but you brushed it off as a combination of the minimal alcohol you’d consumed and the angry unsatisfied monster that had made home in your gut.
You had enough of a head on your shoulders to scan your purse for your pepper spray and pocket knife before you decided that maybe the short walk home would help clear your mind and disappointment. It was still cold, your icy fingertips begging for a uber or cab instead, but you were hoping the biting chill would help calm down whatever lustful beast you had become because of a man you couldn't even contact.
Your legs felt too heavy to carry with every step you took, your neck feeling like your necklaces were made from tons of lead instead of whatever cheap metal the random online store you had ordered them from used. You were grateful that the only company you had on the back streets you had chosen to take were the flickering street lamps and the skittering rats you could hear in each alley you passed.
You could almost taste the relief of the cheap bottles of wine you had stashed in your kitchen paired with a trashy netflix horror film when you turned onto your street, your apartment building somehow looking inviting with its old brick and foggy windows as it sat on the corner. The only thing stopping you from kicking off your heels and making a run for it being the memory of one of your less than polite neighbors dropping a large glass vase and not feeling any need to pick up the broken pieces before leaving for the day.
Instead you grit your teeth to help bear the pinching of your shoes, and break into a quick and awkward jog down the desolate stretch of sidewalk. Your eyes watering as you're met with icy air.
Peace and warmth and cheap familiar alcohol is only a few strides away when you hear it. To anyone else in the city it would have been no different than the sounds of an everyday creature scavenging in the trash for food, but you had lived here long enough to know what's a rat or raccoon or, in this case, a cat.
It was a stray you had befriended long ago, one that could climb and duck into your conveniently opened balcony door for a bowl of food and a scratch behind the ears. It was just a sweet little boy that was grey and covered with scratches and scars, but due to a no pet policy had to be kept labeled as a stray and a secret to your landlord.
You huff in frustration, assuming he would have been curled up on your couch when you returned home and not chasing rats in the alley next to your building, but he had always been mischievous from the day you met him. So with the hope that you could block his image from the security cameras, you turn and head into the dim light of the small alley.
You had lovingly dubbed him Oscar when you came home more than once to your trash can tipped over and learned he had a special love for garbage, and that name along with some weird chattering cooing left you mouth as you tried to coax him from whatever trash can he was creating chaos within.
Your teeth were already gritted and you back stiff as the playful feline found enjoyment in jumping out and scaring you in times like this and you assumed this time would be no different as his evilness seemed to only raise as it got deeper and deeper into the night. So you were already mentally prepared for an attack from an overly excited ball of fur, what you weren’t prepared for was a voice.
“What are you doing out so late?” the voice was gruff and slightly accusatory and made you all but jump completely out of your skin. And as you whip around in circles to try to find the face that the words feel from, you see your love and joy Oscar jump from the tallest trash can and scale the fire escape up to scramble back into your home like a guilty teenager that was caught by their mother.
“I asked you a question,” this time the words were followed by strong hands gripping your shoulders and a shrill yelp escaping your throat.
Your hand was pushing into your purse for at least one of your weapons as you squat to get out of the person's hold and turn to see their face, the grinning and prideful boy behind you washes you with a wave of relief before stabbing at you with annoyance.
“Haechan, what the fuck,” you whisper harshly as you pull your hand from your purse and stand up straight, your now free hand now moving to jab a rough finger into the dip of his chest, “how many times? How many times have I told you to not fucking sneak up on me like that. I know the pepper spray can’t hurt you and a stab wound would heal in like five minutes but that doesn’t mean I want to stab you, idiot.”
“Why not?” his head jerks back as if you said something dumb like the sky wasn’t actually blue or he wasn’t really the sexiest man to live, something that just has no logic behind it in the slightest, “like you said it would heal so maybe we could try, might be kinda hot.”
He punctuates his words by grabbing you roughly by the waist, his other hand wrapping gently around your neck before he pushes you against the rough brick behind you, the permanent evil glimmer in his eyes sparkling with excitement.
“Do you ever get tired of being an absolute freak?” you thinly veiled insult doesn’t pack as much of a punch as you had maybe hoped, but when he begins to mouth at the skin of your jaw and cheek you can’t really find it within yourself to care.
“Well isn’t that why you like me?” he asks rhetorically as he starts to nip light bruises in the spots that blur your vision, “freaky me must be your favorite, because otherwise you wouldn’t be dressed the way you are.”
He’s no wrong, not even in the slightest, but the confident way in which he says it is enough to make you want to lie, “wanting you and liking you are two different things, no one ever said I liked you.”
“Oh but you want me,” the way in which he takes everything you say in strides without even batting an eye is bit infuriating, but the way his fingers tighten against your neck and push into your jugular is enough to make you melt against him, “that’s what you said so for once that’s not me putting words into your pretty little mouth. But don’t say you don’t like me, that’s a dirty lie and we both know it.”
“You don’t like when I lie?” you pout at him, trying to pull more and more reactions from him, “but some of your favorite things I say are lies, like how big you are and how well you fuc-“
“Alright that’s enough of you,” he interrupts, his fist tightening that much more and his other slipping from your waist to reach under the hem of your dress, a satisfied growl and his tongue pressing into the inside of his cheek being his reaction when he realizes the underwear he was grabbing for wasn’t there, “I’ve had to watch you prance around all night, letting a low down dog of a man touch you. And for what? My attention? Baby, you already have my attention.”
Your words stutter violently, the only sounds coming from your throat are whines and gasps as his fingers slip between your thighs and glide against the dampened skin, never staying on your clit long enough to give you the pleasure you need but enough to make you squirm.
“You were watching me?” you finally gasp out, before it clicks in your brain how dumb of a question it was. He told you a long time ago that he always will keep an eye on you, and knowing what he is and the things he can do, you had no reason to not believe him.
“I always am my pretty baby,” he coos before pressing teasing kisses to your open mouth, seemingly tasting and feeding off of every little noise that slips out, “and it hurts to see you let such a nasty man touch you where only I should. You didn’t even notice him following you out of that trashy club did you, silly thing?”
You jerk back as much as you can with the way he holds you, eyes widening at the news that you were apparently being followed without your knowledge. Every emotion that swims in your brain feels like its fighting for dominance, but with the way he chooses to dip his middle and ring fingers just barely past your entrance you’re struggling to cling to just one.
“God, you are so lucky to have me aren’t you? Who else would take care of creeps and make you feel good hm?” he tilts his head as he speaks, his breath warm against the side of your face before his tongue dips to lick at the shell of your ear, “no one can make you feel the way I do can they?”
“No,” you finally answer after a moment, the word coming out as an airy breath as his fingers finally sink in all the way. He wastes no time before curling them and pressing at the spot that makes your knees buckle, “please Haechan, need you so bad.”
“Oh is that one of those infamous lies of yours you were talking about?” he pulls away slightly, but shows no interest in slowing the motions of his hand, “well it can’t be can it? I can always tell you know? Can hear the way your heart picks up when you lie, much different than the way it does when you’re about to come for me.”
His wrist starts to move faster, the heel of his hand finally pressing and rubbing against your clit as the muscles of his forearm start to strain. The telling signs of your orgasm feel too sudden, too fast, and with his hand still constricting the blood that tries to flow to your head all you can do is let your eyes roll as your breathing comes out as small puffs.
“But since you’ve asked so nicely,” you can only let out a pathetic cry when he pulls his hand away from you suddenly, your lack of oxygen being the only thing stopping you from letting out a scream loud enough for the whole block to hear as he denies you of any stimulation. All you can do is let out incoherent babbling and whines as your hands reach up to dig your nails into the leather jacket protecting his forearms.
He releases your neck, your skin burning from the friction and the sudden amount of oxygen and blood returning to your head making you dizzy. And while your eyes roll as they try to refocus and your heart rate begins to slow to normal, he grabs your wrists and pushes your weakened form to be flush against the wall thats scrapes against your exposed skin.
“You are by far the best thing ive ever tasted,” he mutters, not concerned with whether you heard him or not, before his mouth latches to the side of your neck. He seems to find the most interest in the finger prints he left behind, as he pulls the tender skin between his sharp teeth and works to create a bruise that won’t leave you for another week.
Regardless of denying you a proper release, he considers himself to still be a generous guy. As his tongue lays flat against the burning skin of your neck, he starts to kick at your feet until your clumsy legs are falling apart wide enough for him to press his thigh against your skin, and in the exact way he predicted, you can’t help but to begin grinding helplessly against him.
One of the main reasons the dress that you currently wear is one of his favorites, is the neckline. Low enough to show the expanse of your chest and just enough of your cleavage to make him salivate. He’s as transparent as glass with this love, especially as he mouth travels down between your collarbones and sternum.
You can hear a quiet pop in the fabric of the neckline when he bites down and begins to pull it with him as he sinks down to the floor, the huff you let out being both in frustration from him further ruining a nice dress and your impatience.
The straps dig harshly into the skin of your shoulders before they give and fall, the sudden lack of support making it easier for Haechan to take the fabric and expose your chest to the cold air.
The look in his eyes when you look down is mean and predatory, you fear one day he’ll snap and consume you whole, but for today he settles for wrapping his swollen lips around your nipple and sucking harshly.
Your hips quicken involuntary, broken moans filling the empty alley as you twitch and squirm in his hold. He seems to grow irritated at your impatience as he shoves your wrists back harshly, his knuckles audibly scraping against the brick.
“You can never be patient to save your life,” his head tilts forward and he presses his forehead against your sternum with a huff before he’s leaning back up to press a sloppy kiss against your panting mouth, “you’re lucky I missed you so much or otherwise you’d be in for a lot longer of a night.”
He keeps your wrists trapped in his hold as he moves to kneel on the ground, the rough and dirtied pavement doing nothing to help the tears that already litter his jeans.
You feel your face flush when he lets go of one wrist and uses his newly freed hand to shove the hem of your dress up and around your hips, and the burning beneath your skin only worsens when he leans forward and breathes deeply with his nose pressed against your pubic bone.
He leans back for a moment, his hand wrapping around the bend of your knee to pull your leg to rest on his shoulder and you feel your shoulder sting from the wall cutting into your skin from him moving you like a doll.
“Haechan,” you whisper his name out with a pout that you hope will get you exactly what you want, but you can only huff and petulantly twitch when he begins nipping and licking at the skin on the insides of your thighs.
His teeth are sharper than most, and he usually airs on the side of caution because he’s aware of this. His bites are gentle for the most part, but when you begin to peak in your feelings of impatience, you can’t help the way your hips begin jerking forwards in search of his tongue.
His palm pushing against your hip is his first warning, a generous one in his opinion, but when the warning seems to fly completely over your pretty little head he has no other choice but to lean forward and sink his teeth into delicate skin at the bend of your thigh.
You cry out for a second before you’re tucking your lip between your teeth. It stings terribly, the skin breaking around his teeth burns but you can’t stop the way you revel in the sharp pain. And at the exact same moment you taste the metallic ting of the blood falling from your bitten lip, you feel the same warm thick liquid drip from the wounds he’s created and straight into his grinning mouth.
More blood falls freely when he pulls his teeth from your flesh, his warm tongue flattening against the injury immediately to catch as much of the liquid as possible.
He laps at it for a moment, savoring as much of the taste of your life source as possible, before he starts at the bottom of the bite mark and drags slowly up.
Once his tongue moves off the wound, he continues across your skin. The moment he hits your labia, you let out a gasp and jerk against him again, your mind completely erasing the fact that the bite was meant to be a punishment for that exact thing.
He seems to have forgotten him wanting you to remain still, as he doesn’t hesitate in the slightest until his licking across your stil swollen bundle of nerves.
He moans as the flavor of your arousal mixes with the still lingering taste of your blood, the vibrations shooting straight up your spine and making you shiver.
He tilts his head up to smile at you, his eyes shining as he grabs your hands and moving them to thread into his curled hair.
“Why are you shivering?” he asks with a faux concern, his right hand smoothing over your thigh before pushing between your legs to return his fingers to their spot inside of you, immediately pumping and curling them slowly, “are you cold or something? Maybe it’s because you’re in such a skimpy little dress?”
You groan out in annoyance at his playful act, your eyes rolling back but for once not in pleasure. It’s not until he starts to proudly giggle to himself do you exploit the hold you have on the back of his head to push him back to your body.
You fear that being shoved around may be the exact thing Haechan would have wanted, when he happily moans before latching his lips to your clit again, but the pleasure that melts your muscles erases any need to call him out on his deviousness and perverted enjoyment.
He seems happy with your moving hips when they start to move against his waiting face. Your fingers mindlessly and desperately tug at his scalp as your head tilts back and thumps against the wall.
The hand that isn’t pressed deeply inside you slides across your hip, his callused fingers making goosebumps run up your arms as they push into your lower belly.
You can feel yourself fluttering around his fingers as the curl and push apart, your thighs tensing around his bobbing head as he licks and bites gently at your clit. It feels like it’s harder to catch your breath and you know you’re only moments from orgasm.
“Please, please,” you start to stutter the word over and over, praying both that he lets you come and that you’re neighbors are deep enough in sleep to not hear the noises you know will escape you.
You almost cry in relief when you feel his shoulders shift, his face and fingers both pressing deeper from the movement in a way that tells you he has no intention on letting up on your shivering body.
His blunt nails start to scratch into your skin and you can feel his heavy panting breath against your skin every time he begins to lap at you desperately. You can feel your muscles lose even more strength, and your head becoming heavier and dazed as he coaxed you closer and closer to your finish.
Your shoulders twitch up towards your ears and you feel your stomach clench as your back curves, small whines and whimpers leave you as the heel of your foot thumps against the space between his shoulder blades.
You gasp out when you feel it, them. They start as small bumps beneath your palms, and you feel your chest tighten when it clicks what they are.
He’s always had a good hold on controlling them, keeping them hidden so he can wreak havoc without being clocked as something inhuman. They had peaked out a few times, usually in moments like this, but it’s such a rarity that you can’t stop the way your heart begins to thump in your chest.
Out of everything about him, you were obsessed with all of him, but you loved his horns the most. They were small and sharp at the side of his head and the way he looks when they’re poking out amongst his curled hair, and especially when he was grumpy or mad, made you want to jump on him and kiss him all over.
You were so caught up and distracted by them growing to full size directly under your hands you forgot how sharp they were at their tapered ends. The reminder you get is when they sharply down push into your palms like thorns.
You gasp sharply, but the way they curl makes you afraid to pull away. It makes you tremble and flush with embarrassment, but the pain bleeding into your hands is the last straw on your nerves. All you can do is wrap your now bleeding hands around the horns and cry out into the cold air as your erratic hips move across his face.
He groans deeply against you as your nails scrape at the skin that surrounds the base of his horns, the feeling of his and his still moving tongue pushes you through and past your gasping orgasm.
You sign in relief when he finally detaches from your body, his mouth moving up to press your hip and across the space of your stomach the dress reveals. He puts your leg down slowly and he creeps back up your torso, now hyper aware of your wounded hands still stuck on his horns.
“Sorry my love, they’re kinda sharp aren’t they?” he rhetorically asks with a soft but guilty grin. He stays ducked down enough that your hands don’t go too high that they start to slip, and he follows with his own to help you detach them.
“I just keep making my mark on you tonight huh?” he sighs as he stands at full height and brings your still bleeding hands to his face. You grit your teeth and scrunch your nose when he gives you a knowing look that says ‘we both know what I have to do.’
He is quick and gentle when he swipes his tongue across the deep cuts in your hands, not wanting it to sting more than necessary.
A teasing grin fills his face when he looks up to see the tired pout on your face, “just like the one on your leg, there won’t be anything left than a bruise if you just wait like an hour,” he’s sincere in his words, and you know it works, but you still feel all wounded and tired.
“Take me home,” you demand, wrapping your slowly healing hands around his shoulders and leaning until your head rests against his shoulder.
“Hey now,” he contradicts his tone by wrapping his arm around your waist and helping guide you walk to your apartment, “you still have to feed Oscar, and take a shower, and I’m not even full yet so you have to let me play with you until I wear you out.”
His tone is far too genuine and loving for the words he says, and you swat weakly at his chest in annoyance, but all he does in response is a laugh.
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knivesareout · 4 years ago
Text
My Best Decision
Pairing: Javier Peña x AFAB!Reader
Word Count: 3.5k
Warnings: Smut (18!!!+), Oral sex (fem receiving), Unprotected sex, Filth, Possible typos and bad usage of commas.
A/N: I have a whole ass universe to these two tucked away somewhere in my mind and this scene felt like it needed to be written so here we are. I haven’t written anything substantial in years so pls be nice to me, thanks. You can also read it on AO3 here. Big thanks to @dirty-holy-things​ for being a general gem of a friend and proofreading this for me. Hope y’all enjoy!!!
Summary: Time to yourselves is something hard to come by for you and Javi. When his dad offers to take your little one for the night, you have a few things in mind on what you can fill the quiet with.
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Texas was a different kind of hot, you quickly came to realize. Colombia had been sticky and humid, the feeling of your clothes sticking to your skin the absolute worst. Texas came with a dry heat compared to Colombia and it was a change that was welcome in your book.
It’d been about two years now in Laredo and it always made you wonder when you’d stop comparing the two places. It’s not like you lived in Colombia all that long, anyway; just the time it took to complete your Master’s Degree and a few months after, staying behind with Javier until his assignment with the DEA was over. Javi had warned you of all the different things moving to Texas entailed when the decision had been made, even offering up a few other options- like Miami, where Steve had tried to entice the two of you to join him and Connie and their kids. But, Texas had felt right for some reason. Being close to Javier’s father and having that sense of family was something you craved and so, Laredo became home.
Once you had your first child, it just cemented that moving to Texas had been the right decision. Javi had been a mess in the delivery room, pacing constantly and offering to get you anything every 10 seconds. It would’ve been funnier if you weren’t in pain and almost screaming at him to fuck off. Your daughter was born screaming and crying into the world, Javi’s tears unstoppable as he cut the cord and passed her over to you, the gentle grip on her so tender and careful. 
The sight of Chucho crying when he’d met your little girl at the hospital, whispering to her how spoiled she was going to be by her abuelo, was something you’d never forget and with Javi rolling his eyes behind his father’s back, you knew he was going to be just as bad as his father, if not worse, and he was. Tiny little Emilia AnaĂ­s Peña had the two men wrapped around her finger the second she yawned, her fists popping out of the blanket she was wrapped in, in search of a finger to hold on to. 
Now, at just six months, your little girl was a handful and that was putting it lightly. She was crawling everywhere and yanking on anything she could get her hands on, and that included yours and Javi’s hair. A moment of peace was hard to come by, her cries loud and piercing if no one was paying attention to her. Javier was always the first one to give into her pleas, placating her wails with quiet songs sung under his breath and a soothing hand across her back. She was a daddy’s girl and you couldn’t even find it in you to be upset about it, the sight always putting an instant smile on your face. 
It was crazy to think there was a time where you believed something like this wasn’t possible- the family, the house together, and anything really beyond a late night hook-up with Javier. Yet, here you were, and Emilia was the perfect blend of you two as you caught her dark eyes slowly drifting close on Javier’s shoulder. 
“Javi?” You ask, shuffling the bills that cluttered your kitchen table into a neat pile and setting them aside to go through after dinner.
“Yeah baby?” He slowly turns to glance at you, his hand spanning across your daughter’s back as he holds her to his chest. You could already see the drool mark on his salmon colored shirt and smile softly to yourself. It was still early, and any sleep she got was a blessing. 3am wake up calls were getting tiring and Javi was taking the brunt of them, letting you sleep.
“I was thinking,” you start, walking towards him to brush a fallen strand of hair across Emilia’s forehead as she breathes in slowly. “Maybe Chucho could take Emilia tonight? He called earlier and mentioned I sounded tired, asked if we needed a break. I thought it would be nice to have a night to ourselves. Maybe actually catch up on sleep, watch a movie.”
You would’ve been offended at Javier’s father calling you out, a quiet chuckle escaping you when he brought it up, but you knew he was right. Sleep was a myth at this point and it was only made worse now as Emilia was slowly starting to get her teeth in. You told him you’d let him know what Javier thought by lunch time, giving him a quiet thank you before you’d hung up. 
The look on Javi’s face was one you knew well. It was his thinking face. Brows furrowed in thought, lips pursed. He was silently going over the pros and cons of being away from your daughter for the first time, his lips pursed. “It’s gonna have to happen at some point, right? I guess that’s fine,” he finally acquiesces, hiking Emilia higher up on his chest while she snoozes. “Call my dad and let him know we’ll be over in an hour. I’ve got a few things I need to finish up.” With a kiss to your forehead, he turns out of the kitchen and whispers quietly to Emilia that her ‘daddy was going to miss her so much’.
You nod mostly to yourself as he leaves, watching as he heads through the house to no doubt hole himself up in the office with Emilia on his chest while he read over papers he needed to grade. There wasn’t a task he did day-to-day where he didn’t try to have Emilia with him. He’d take her to class with him if you didn’t physically remove her from his side in the mornings. Watching Javier hand her over to Chucho would be interesting and you smirk as you walk back to the kitchen to call your father-in-law, a little pep to your step as you thought about all the things you could do in the next 24 hours.
__
The handoff had been hilarious, your giggles quiet behind your hand as you watched your daughter reach for her grandfather with a giant smile on her face and paying no mind to Javi’s scowl. Emilia was just as smitten with her abuelo as she was with her father and she wasn’t nearly as torn up about the goodbye as Javier was. She’d giggled and waved bye with the help of Chucho as you’d left and it almost looked like Javier wanted to cry. He’d huffed once you were back in his truck and remained quiet on the short drive back to your house, your hand reaching for his in a comforting squeeze. 
The house seemed strange, feeling almost empty, without Emilia’s presence despite her toys being scattered throughout the living room. Some part of you felt guilty at your excitement to finally have a night without your daughter but, it was needed and you’d be damned if you didn’t try to make the most of it. Locking the door behind you once Javier was sitting on the couch, you kicked your shoes off and sat down to curl yourself into his side, his arm wrapping around you tight.
“Are you gonna mope around until we pick her up tomorrow?” You tease him, reaching up to tilt Javier’s gaze towards your own.
A slow smile breaks across his features and he shakes his head, looking guilty. “No. I’m sorry,” he sighs, taking your hand from his chin to lace your fingers together. “It’s just weird and I know it’s something that we’ll have to do but I just. Miss her.” 
“I know, Javi,” you nod, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Why don’t we take a nap and then I’ll make us lunch and we can just bask in the quietness for a little bit, hm?”
“Yeah, that sounds,” he yawns, making you chuckle. “Good. Yeah, a nap sounds good.”
As you push yourself up off the couch and stretch, Javi’s calloused fingers reach out and brush across the bare skin of your hip, your t-shirt raising with the stretch of your arms and the feeling of his hands on you sends a slight shiver up your spine. It’d been far too long since the two of you managed to be intimate, your mind blanking on the last time it wasn’t just hurried hands and covered mouths to muffle the moans and grunts from seeking a quick release before running off towards Emilia’s cries.
It’s like Javi’s tiredness is suddenly forgotten, the bareness of your skin a reminder that he hasn’t touched you in so long. A smirk slides across his lips while his hand travels further up your shirt, squeezing along your side until his fingers skim across the underside of your left breast and this thumb seeks out the hardened peak of your nipple to pull between his nimble fingers. 
“Javi,” his name is quiet on your lips and you’re not sure if he even heard it until you feel his hand engulf the entirety of your breast and he squeezes and kneads the sensitive flesh in answer.
“Please.”
In a flash, Javier is pulling you down onto his lap where he still sits on the couch and you’re almost winded at the move as you sit on his strong thighs to steady yourself.
You hate that you want to stop this and move it to the bedroom where his back won’t hurt as bad, where you both can spread out and enjoy each other because the spontaneity of it all is sexy and a call back to your time in Colombia where you and Javi couldn’t get enough of each other. 
When you don’t automatically start grinding down onto his lap, Javi glances up at you curiously, “What’s wrong, baby?
“Take me to bed?”
He gets it then with a quick nod and you know he’s thinking the same things you are and pulls you close to his chest as he moves off the couch and slides you back down to the ground. Taking your hand in his, he guides the two of you down the hallway towards your bedroom. It’s almost comical, the eagerness of your steps, and he presses you against the wall just next to the door of the room once you’re inside. 
“Can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner when you suggested dropping off Emilia at my dad’s,” he breathes against your ear, hands falling to your hips and squeezing them tight. 
You laugh against his ear, his mouth moving across your neck and his lips trailing across your collarbone to sponge heavy kisses on any bare skin he can find. “Kinda figured it was an unspoken thing. I’ll be more blunt next time,” you grin, running a hand through his dark hair and tugging him away from your neck to lock your gaze with his. “Fuck me, Javi. I’ve missed your cock, baby. Please.” 
His eyebrows raise in surprise at your bluntness but he wastes no time, pulling you away from the wall to back you up against the foot of your bed where you fall back, your hands reaching back to catch your fall. Biting your lip as you watch Javi’s chest heave, the tight pink shirt stretched across his chest, your legs instantly pressing together in search of some relief. Even just looking at him has you wet between your thighs and the movement isn’t lost on him. 
Javier is quick to undress, his clothes haphazardly tossed to the side, leaving him in only his boxers where his cock is straining against the seam in the middle. Seeing his clear arousal causes another wave of wetness to pool between your legs and you crook a finger, hoping to entice him to come closer. Kneeling on the bed, he brings you up with him to lay against the pillows and trails a finger down your thin t-shirt to where your leggings sit on your stomach, tracing along the waistband. 
“Tell me what you want, hermosa,” Javi asks you quietly, nose nudging against your cheek while his fingers dip just slightly under the fabric. 
Normally you weren’t so bold, but with how pent up you were there was no hesitation to your voice when you spoke up, turning to look him in the eye. “I want your mouth on my pussy, Javi. Then I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk the next day.” His fingers still against your skin, the side of his mouth quirking up and he sat up suddenly, yanking down your shorts along with your underwear to leave you bare from the waist below. 
“So wet for me already, hm?” Javier spreads your legs wider, putting you on display for him and your body is shameless in the way it opens itself for his greedy eyes. Your hands slide up your tummy and under your shirt to grasp at your breasts, tugging on your nipples while you watch him watch you. 
Rough hands smooth up your thighs as Javi moves to settle himself between your legs. Your eyes follow his movements, watching as he licks his lips once he pulls your pussy lips apart and sighs softly to himself. “Most beautiful pussy I’ve ever seen,” he makes sure to tell you before flicking your clit with his tongue. 
Javi is relentless in the way he eats you out, mouth sloppy and slick after just a moment and when he looks up at you from his place between your thighs, you can see how debauched he already is. You blink quickly as Javi spits on your pussy, bringing a finger up to rub the wetness against your clit and you cry out. Your hands move from your chest to grip the comforter below you and you pant his name like a prayer once his two of his fingers slowly slide inside of you. 
“It’s been so long, baby. Gonna have to stretch you out a bit before I slide my cock in you.” Javi’s voice is rough, scratchy and you bare down against his fingers once he starts a slow rhythm of fucking you. “You always take me so well though. Like your pussy was made for me.” 
“Want your cock, Javi. Please,” you plead in reply, your left hand releasing the comforter from your grip and sliding it through his hair and tugging softly to get his attention, hoping he would look up and see the desperation on your face. 
Javier pays you no mind. His fingers start fucking you in earnest, a third slipping in next to the other two thick digits and you can slowly feel your orgasm building. A slow simmer through your body, like a current that was waiting to crash. Your whines fill the room, along with the wet sound of his fingers fucking you. Once his thumb starts rubbing your clit in time with the thrust of his fingers, you feel like you’re about to tip over the edge. 
“Come on baby, can feel you squeezing my fingers so fucking tight. Come on my fingers. Come.”
At the sound of his voice, something snaps inside of you and you cry out his name as wave after wave of pleasure wracks through your body. Your body pulses around his fingers, back taut as you ride his hand. 
Javier’s voice is soft as he coaxes you through your release, “Such a good girl. So good for me, aren’t you?” Peppering kisses across your thighs and up your tummy, he slowly slides his fingers out of you and into his mouth to lick them clean.
The sight is obscene as you watch him, your body still pulsing from your release. A smug grin is painted across Javier’s face and you bring a hand through the damp hair on his forehead and push it out of his eyes. “God that was good,” you laugh, scratching at his scalp. 
“Thanks for the glowing review, querida.” Javier kisses his way up your stomach, tugging at your shirt that had been bunched up under your arms to finally rid you of the last bit of material that was blocking your body from his.
You can taste yourself on his lips when they finally meet, his tongue sweeping across your bottom lip before kissing you slowly. The kiss is languid and soft, your hands grasping at Javier’s back to pull his chest to your own. Your hands wander down to his hips, tugging at the band of his boxers with a frustrated groan when you can’t manage to pull them down all the way and you move away from his lips, “Javi, take them off. Fuck, please. I need to feel you.”
Javier pulls away just enough to tug down his boxers and kick them off before he’s descending back on to you, his cock hard and wet at the tip smearing across your thigh. Your hips move around as you try and line him up, a whine slipping past your lips, desperate. It’d been too long since you’d been able to fully appreciate the heavy weight of him inside you and you were needy, body wanton and open for him.
“Baby, calm down. I’ve got you. Shhh,” he quiets you, a quick kiss to your lips. 
Your eyes widen as you feel the tip of his cock running through the slit of your soaked pussy, the head catching on your clit and you cry out as he continues to tease you. The feeling is torture and you dig your nails into his back, a silent plea that you need more. Javier seems to get the message and presses into your cunt, the thickness of him splitting you open in the best way. He’s wide and long, the perfect fit and once he’s bottomed out you feel pure euphoria at the pleasure it brings you. 
“Shit you feel so good, squeezing me so tight,” Javier  grunts, his hips slowly starting a rhythm as he fucks into you. The slapping of skin fills the room, his cock slick with your arousal.
No one had ever felt as good as Javi did and he knew it, the smug bastard. You nod quickly, agreeing with him as you were at his mercy. “So good, Javi. So good. Harder, please.”
He’s quick to comply, his hips fucking into yours at a brutal pace. His hands pull your thighs up at an angle that makes your vision blurry, calves thrown around his shoulders and he’s relentless as he thrusts into you. You watch him lick at the pad of his thumb, the digit finding your wet clit quickly and he rubs in time with his thrusts. 
A moan catches in your throat as your climax nears, head dug into the pillow beneath your head, legs going rigid against him and you tighten around his cock as you cum, Javi’s filthy words muttered low. “God you feel so fucking good around me, squeezing me like this. Cum for me baby, fuck fuck fuck-,” and he finds his own release just behind your own, spilling hot and wet inside your cunt. 
Your body feels boneless, the tips of your fingers numb as you drag them across Javi’s back as he breathes slow and hot against your neck trying to catch his breath. Feeling starts to return to your limbs, and you card your fingers through the sweaty curls at the back of Javi’s head. “You still got it there Agent Peña,” you tease, tugging the short hairs up to get him to look at you.
The look on his face is pure annoyance and you give him your biggest shit-eating grin as he shakes his head and slowly pulls out of you with a groan before sliding next to you and tugging you into his side. “You’re lucky I love you,” Javier grumbles, arm wrapped around you and fingertips trailing along your upper arm in a soothing motion.
“I love you too,” you sigh against this chest, tucked underneath his chin. “How many more rounds do you think we can get in before we have to pick up Emilia tomorrow?”
Javi pauses before he answers and hums to himself, knowing he’s genuinely thinking about it putting a smile on your face. “Gonna shoot for 5 but, I’m an old man now so who knows huh?” He digs his fingers into your side, tickling you. 
“Shut up and go to sleep, Javi. I’m tired.” You pat at his chest blindly as you yawn, kissing his chest once you’re more settled under the blankets.
He grumbles quietly to himself but is out like a light a few beats later, snoring softly in your ear, filling the silence of the unusually quiet house. Your hands trace carefully along his chest, mind already filling with other things you two can get up to before you pick up your daughter, wondering if you still had your toys stashed away somewhere.
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writingtoforgetreality · 4 years ago
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Forever & Always An Outsider (Cordell Walker x Daughter!Reader)
[Walker-Masterlist]
Summary: Your dad came back. Finally. But what would he do if he found out how you had been treated? That his family failed to accept your rightful place with them. Your life needed change before you were too far gone.
Words: 2,495
Warnings: language, angst, feels, suffering in silence, losing yourself, most of the Walkers are assholes (I love the actors & their characters, this is just fiction!), I’m incredibly proud of this one (pls tell me what y’all think - requests for Walker & more are open!), (Y/A) = your age, (Y/E/C) = your eye color
If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❀
You were (Y/N) Walker. Through & through. Worthy of that last name. Emily not being your biological mother should not matter, right? It was her who raised you with Cordell. It was her who tucked you in at night. It was her who was there when you woke up in the middle of the night, screaming, because nightmares invaded your peaceful slumber. It was her who you called mom. So why the hell were you different? Why were you not treated the same way Stella & Augie were?
It was not your decision to be the child of one of Cordell’s one night stands. Neither was it your decision to be abandoned by the same woman who had carried you inside of her body for nine months. And it sure as hell was not your decision to be laid at the front porch of the Walker property. A note the only explanation who you were & why you were brought here in the middle of the night. A paternity test later & it was confirmed. You were Cordell’s daughter. Not even once did Emily think any less of you. The same thing for Cordell. Because you were their daughter. Fully. You were their child, as much as Stella & August were. You cried when you received the news of your mother’s passing. Just as much as the rest of the family. Cordell’s decision to leave was just as hard for you as it was for everyone else.
Daily calls had been left unanswered. Who could you possibly talk to if not your dad? Who would listen to your complaints, your pain, your grief, if not him? The years growing up had never been easy for you, there was no denying that. Yet, the second you were left alone with Cordell’s parents & your siblings, your life turned into living hell for you. It had never been kept secret that you were not Emily’s biological child. From early on, the both of them tried to explain your situation to you so you did not feel like they were keeping important information from you. Acceptance was what you needed. But it also was what you did not get. As a kid, of course you would never mention being treated differently. After all, it was your normal. It was something you got used to. Your parents seemed oblivious to the dirty glances that your grandparents threw your way. They did not notice that they spent more time with your siblings. Growing up in such a household, where support was only partly given, changed you as you got older. You were (Y/A) years old now. Old enough that the realization had kicked in. The reason why they treated you like an outsider was simple. Because you were one. An outsider.
You could not hide the disappointment you felt towards your dad when he returned. He left you. During a time where it felt like your head was underwater. Where you felt like you were drowning. And everybody watching you did not lift a finger to help you out of the dark & endless water surrounding your weak & broken body. No. They were busy dealing with everything on their own. Leaving you out entirely. Your dad was back. Finally. And as much as you hated him for leaving, your relief was bigger than the negativity that had been eating inside of you. Again, a person you connected to on a deeper level was with you. The only soul who accepted you. As you were. No friendships ever ended working out. The relationship with the rest of your family did not need any more discussing.
All those months of you keeping to yourself did not change a single thing. Your voice had only been used when someone had explicitly directed their words at you. Why bother talking to them? The only thing you had ever received was weird look after weird look. Hell, you had months alone to grieve. The hours you had spent crying in your room, all alone in the middle of the night, had not helped dealing with your loss. It was true, you were not the only one in this family who had lost someone. The difference was that you were the only one who had been left alone. Because the moment Cordell left, your support system went with him. The one thing you had never learned was being alone & staying alive.
An unnatural feeling was inside your home the day your dad arrived here. If you took a sharp knife, you could cut the tension precisely. But Cordell tried. His efforts did not go unnoticed by you. A small smile, a simple touch. Your way of acknowledging his attempts. The change in your family was noticeable. Connecting with his parents, with Stella & Augie, was not easy. Not at all. You, on the other hand, you were a changed person entirely. Not the funny, joyful girl you had once been. More like a closed book, encrypted with a lock. The key long gone, getting rusty at the bottom of a deep, lurid river.
Conversations over dinner were held briefly. Your dad being the only one to start them by things he remembered you guys liked. The burning need inside of you to talk to him was pushed down further. The looks you would receive were not really what you anticipated. But nobody knew. The silent battle you had been fighting for the last months had been ignored. Had your dad been here, he would have noticed something was off. Right away. A look in your (Y/E/C) eyes was all it took. But that was the past. This person had died a long time ago. Worrying was all that could be done for the time being. If you were to talk, you would come to him yourself. No need for him to force you into a situation you were highly uncomfortable in.
The bags under your eyes were present. The light in your eyes completely gone. Like the last ounce of strength had been sucked out of your body. Your clothes did not fit the way they used to. Loose hoodies, even looser pants. Your form slowly disappearing. Not only feeling like you were unseen, but actually becoming invisible. There was not a single moment of the day where you were fully awake. You had not been sleeping much. Something your dad could relate to. Most nights, he spent in company with a bottle of whiskey. The only friend to numb the pain for a little while. Alcohol was not your solution. Did not mean that yours was any healthier.
It had become a routine for you. Waiting until the house was sound asleep. Your mind the only one being awake. Your thoughts the only ones running miles & miles per hour. Eventually, you always found yourself seated outside, on top of the roof. Being a bit closer to the stars aligning the night sky. Being a bit closer to her. Others might find it silly. You talking into the night, waiting for some echo of the past. Waiting for a sign that she heard you. Your complaints. Your pain. Your grief. Your love. Spending hours crying. Begging for her to make it stop. Begging for them to love you the way she used to.
The cold breeze hit your exposed skin. A sign that your body still reacted to certain things. Texas nights were chilly. A nice contrary to the heat that dragged itself through most days. A hoodie would do. Some sweatpants. But you needed the goosebumps. Needed them to remind you that you were still here. Still breathing. You owed it to your mom. To keep fighting. Because she did not have the chance to anymore. Tears were threatening to escape your glossy eyes. You would not let them fall. Deep down, you knew she would want you to be strong. Not to cry over her. Because of her. But it was so hard. Each day, the weight got heavier. Each day, you lost yourself a bit more. There was only so much a single person could take. To you, it felt like the limit was almost reached. Soon, you would overflow. Who knew what would happen if you let it get that far?
“Your mom used to love that place.” a soft but deep voice interrupted the peaceful silence that encircled your body. Looking over your shoulder to find your dad standing only mere feet away from you.
“Really?” the pain could be heard through your small voice. Broad shoulders touched yours.
“She was up here when she needed time to think.” elbows propped up on his knees. You could brush him off. Pretending to be fine. Explaining that fresh air was all you needed. That you would head inside in a minute. Truthfully, you did not want to do any of this. The fight had been going on for too long. You were close to losing it. This was a sign that, maybe, you were not yet at the end. That, maybe, there was still enough time to get up & start anew. Talking alone felt like too much effort. It required too much strength. Strength that you did not have. Not anymore.
“Something happened to you while I was gone.” the statement left a tension between you. “I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.” his eyes took in your side profile. You did not dare to look at him. It meant risking to break into tears. The tears you had been holding in for so long.
“I don’t even know myself anymore.” as a father, hearing your child say such words, it broke his heart. Into a million pieces. The universe did not give him a break. First Emily. Now you. Yes, you were alive. But watching you disappear right in front of his eyes hurt just as much.
“Talk to me.” his words were not an order. If you wanted to, you could up & leave. Right this instant. Something told you to stay. He was here, after all. Your dad. And he cared enough to look out for you. More than the others had done these past few months.
“I always wondered if mom & you noticed.” your eyes were focused on a branch that wavered in the far distance. The leaves pushed from one side to the other, controlled by the wind. There was no interruption. If you needed to get something off your chest, then the most Cordell could do was listen. Making you feel as if you were not alone. As if he was not leaving you. Not again. Because he was not.
“Grandma & grandpa have never looked at me the way they look at Stella. At Augie. To them, I was never their grandchild. I was just there. I was never an equal. And I was fine with it, you know? Because I had mom. I had you. And that was all the support I needed. Then mom died. And you left. And suddenly, it felt like there was nobody I could talk to. Nobody who could hug me to make me feel at least a tiny bit better. They were this tight-knit group. And I was alone.” the steadiness, the monotony in your voice was scary. To you, it had been your normal for the longest time. Cordell knew that it was partly his fault. Leaving you during one of the hardest times in your life was plainly wrong. No apology could ever bring back the time you had lost.
“I’m sorry.” it was not much. Definitely not enough. Definitely not what you deserved. Yet, it was all that could be given to you in this moment. A strong, muscular arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his warm body. The heat of his form immediately transferring to your skin. His embrace was a safe haven. His cologne so familiar. You had missed him. So much. Only when he touched you were you overwhelmed by every single emotion you had ignored for the last couple of months. Silent tears made their way down your cheeks, leaving a salty taste at the corners of your mouth.
“It’s fine.” one thing had not changed. Always making sure that others would not worry about you. People knew you for your fierce & strong personality. It was not too late to get the old you back. With much work, much love & support, you could change for the better again.
“It’s not.” Cordell knew you were one to carry everything on your own. That trait was given to you from him. He recalled how Emily had mentioned it when you were a small child. The one thing you always did was putting others first, forgetting about yourself in the process. That was something the both of you had to work on. Something the both of you needed to improve. The start would make him talking to the rest of the family. Now that he knew about your daily struggles, he made it his job to do everything to change it. For your sake. Because that was what Emily would have wanted. It was what he wanted for you. All of your years, you had been nothing but kind & loving towards his parents, Stella & August. The kindness you shared with them was not necessary. You had been treated wrongly for years & Cordell blamed himself for being too blind to see clearly.
Again, silence enveloped you & neither of you talked. It was comforting. Him being back. Him wanting to help. He hugged you close to him. Squeezing your shoulders every now & then. A simple sign of letting you know that he was still here. With you.
“I’ll talk to them.” if it were not for the night to be so calm, you would have missed his words entirely. “I’ll make this right.” this was a silent promise. A promise that he would stay. A promise that you no longer had to keep your grief locked inside. A promise that your family would be just that. A family. A family who treated each other equally. Loved each other endlessly. Supported each other whenever it was possible. Maybe it was the scene you found yourself in. The almost black night sky, illuminated by the moon, by thousands of little stars. Showing you that there were a million small reasons for a light in a mass of darkness. Bits & pieces of hope. Maybe this was your sign. The sign you had waited for every night. The sign from your mom. Telling you that it was worth fighting for. Worth fighting for the little things. Because each of those were beautiful in their own way. Each of those deserved appreciation. Each of those could brighten up the dark life you found yourself in. And light was all you needed right now.
Published (03/26/2021) by Cathy
Tags: @fofisstilinski, @geekgirl007, @spnwoman, @acklessnackles, @the-soul-witch, @multifandomlover121, @missmaam123, @delicatecelebritiesarthairdo (thanks for your support <3/sorry if I mistakenly tagged you, please let me know if I did)
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kookingtae · 4 years ago
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the equation of love (pt. 10)
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pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8 | pt 9 | pt. 10
professor yoongi x uni student reader
→scenario: When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.
→genre: smut | fluff | angst
→word count: 10.5k
→a/n: alternatively: fuck it, it’s been five years and this wip has been staring at me for three of them, so im just gonna post it. i have not read this over since 2018, so pls dont judge me too harshly hhsdg it’s unedited and probably a bit cringy, but then again what ch of teol isnt? this is NOT all that i have planned for the series, but i figured something is better than nothing, right? and perhaps the saying better later than never applies here, too. maybe one day i’ll finally get around to finishing it (by then im sure no one will even be around to remember what teol is lmao) but until then, enjoy what ive been sitting on! and as always, if you’re still here, thank you for your endless patience and support with this series <3
→another a/n: after this will probably be an epilogue!
→tw: mentions of blackmail, r*pe and sexual assault (we mostly just get closure on the whole professor lee & jun situation!!)
→warning: this chapter is not a happy ending, but it’s not necessarily a BAD one either, so for those who don’t like to finish on an unhappy note, it’s up to you on whether you’d like to read it or wait for the epilogue to be posted!
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Running water.
It was such a simple yet fascinating concept—atoms and molecules coming together to form the only substance on earth that has a natural state in all forms, while having the power to kill in three different ways. Solid, by hypothermia; liquid, by drowning; gas, by suffocation. This substance can take three different forms, yet it's most commonly a liquid, covering nearly 71% of the world with translucent bodies of water. Oceans, ponds, lakes—though the most enchanting of them all were rivers. They were always moving, crashing beyond rocks and bustling with the flow of the current and gravitational pull of the earth. Rivers were passionate, and strong, and no matter how hard one tried they couldn't break the whipping tide that was pushing against them. Nothing could cause the powerful force to falter.
But, like most things, even rivers must come to an end. The current stops flowing, and the waves stop breaking around the jagged rocks, and the powerful force that seemed it would never end dulls to a still, calm lull, as if the river was nothing more than a brief yet raging storm. All the passion, all the fight—over in a blink of an eye, left to dissipate into the mysteries of the vast ocean.
Staring down at the picture on the cell phone screen in front of me was like getting pulled by the current of a river; down, down, down I flowed until there was no river left around me and I was left stranded in the middle of the sea. Yoongi and I were once raging, and passionate, and ready to fight against anyone who tried to tear us down, but now the fight was over. We had been dragged too far, fading into a body of water that was not our own. This was bigger than us.
Yes, like the flow of a river, all things must come to an end.
"That's it," Yoongi gritted his teeth, and I felt the dip of the mattress beneath me as he rose to his feet in anger.
"Yoongi," I called his name in a warning tone, warily standing up from the bed and watching him move around the room. "What are you doing?"
"I'm over it," he said, hastily throwing the first articles of clothing he could grab from his drawers over his body. "I'm done dealing with all of this, Y/N! I'm going up to the school."
Despite the flare of determination that sparked in my heart at his words, his rage seeming to radiate off of him and onto me as well, I couldn't help the trepidation that I was also filled with; Yoongi didn't have a history of making rational decisions out of anger.
"Don't you think you should calm down first?" I offered, trying my best to match his pace around the room.
"No!" Yoongi suddenly skidded to a halt in front of me, his eyes wild and crazed. "I'm going to find her and I'm going to fucking kill her!"
I could only stand with a gaping mouth and watch as he stormed out of the room, leaving me with no choice but to pull on my old clothes and chase his stomping foot steps. He grabbed his keys before storming out of the apartment, down the stairs, and outside into the parking lot. I tried to ignore the blindingly bright sunlight as I squinted my eyes and continued after him.
"Follow me up to the school," Yoongi barked as he hopped into his car.
"Yoongi–" I started, but my consoling voice was cut off by the slam of his door. I frowned, scrambling to unlock my vehicle as his engine roared to life.
The drive to the university was a nerve-wracking one. I kept a watchful eye on Yoongi to make sure he wasn't speeding or swerving all over the road; they say you're not supposed to operate a vehicle while you're upset. Though it would seem my efforts were futile, because he did in fact speed and swerve, and all I could do was frown and try to keep up.
It wasn't that I wasn't angered by Professor Lee; I was furious, rage and disgust and frustration all stewing inside of me like a pot of water that was ready to boil over. But I just couldn't help but worry for Yoongi. I had always been the non-confrontational type, always hoping that with a little time things would get better if they were ignored long enough. But it would seem that my method was proven inefficient today, because as much as I had tried to ignore her antics, that wicked woman wouldn't stop at anything to make sure Yoongi and I were properly dragged through the mud and going down like a ship engulfed in flames. Yet as much as that angered me, I couldn't bare the thought of the turmoil it was causing Yoongi. I didn't know when I had started casting my own feelings aside and putting his above—it was a gradual thing rather than one, defining moment—but it was only another factor that proved how much I actually loved this man. And that very thought instilled a fear that shook me to the very bone.
We had a lot more to lose now than just his job and my education. We could be losing us. And that was more important now than it had ever been before.
Once we arrived at the university there were a lot of screeching brakes, messy parking and fumbling hands as I scrambled to catch up to his looming figure that seemed to stalk towards the building at an unnatural pace. The pounding of my heavy heartbeat was what drove me forward, anxiety rising with each quickened step that I took.
"Yoongi!" I yelled once I had lessened the distance between us, now dead center on the campus sidewalk. "Yoongi, wait!"
All of a sudden he whirled around, his abrupt halt causing me to crash straight into his chest. I let out a yelp in surprise, eyes wide and ready to interrogate him, before I felt the smooth curvature of his palms on either side of my face as he tilted my head up to his and slammed his mouth onto mine.
The world stopped spinning for a moment, everything around me fading into the motions of his plush skin, his soft lips exploding with flavor and spilling over my tastebuds, satisfying my thirst in a way that no water ever could. I didn't even question it for a second before I was melting into him, quite literally becoming putty in his hands as the rest of the world instantaneously escaped my mind.
It's funny the way that worked—the way he was able to completely erase everything that had once existed in the blink of an eye, just by his simple touch. Whether it was magic, or I was just that fucking whipped, I didn't know. But either way, I didn't possess the power to stop it even if I wanted to.
When Yoongi finally broke away, he was breathing heavily, his breath fanning across my face in cool puffs of air. "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore," he spoke onto my lips, his forehead pressing against mine with a firm force. "Let them see. The only thing I care about is you."
It was then that I was suddenly aware of our surroundings, the reality of our world crashing down around me as I glanced around at all the eyes watching us. It varied; there were those choosing to spare us a glance as they walked to and from their classes, those who stalled their current actions to lift their heads to us not once, not twice, but three times, and then there were those who stopped altogether, their widened eyes and slackened jaws dead giveaways that they knew exactly who Yoongi was: Professor Min, Algebra 101 instructor.
A stroke of his thumb across my cheek brought my attention back to him; I stared up into his eyes, the desperate look in them captivating me and making it impossible to look away. His chest was rising and falling beneath his shirt, his fingers were grappling at my face as he brushed my wisps of hair out of the way, silently begging me to understand, to agree with him.
And in that moment, I knew what I had to do.
My lungs were filled with a breath of newfound determination, dazed and driven by Yoongi's words and embrace. "I love you," I spoke with conviction, caressing the nape of his neck as if to give him more reassurance. "Let's go.”
With that I grabbed his hand, holding my head high for the rest of the campus to see as I started up Yoongi's stride towards the school's building. He was right beside me, weaving his fingers through mine and giving my hand an extra squeeze as if to say that he was here, that he was proud to let the world know that I was his and he was mine, and that he wasn't going anywhere.
We were going to take down Professor Lee.
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The seminar room was empty of students when we stormed in. Seats were placed throughout the floor, papers were scattered on the desks, and Professor Lee was at the front of the room, fiddling with the cords from the projector screen.
At the sound of the door opening, her head snapped up. "Well well well, look what we have here," she smirked when she saw us, making no plans to move as she saw me marching over to her. "You know, I really don't think–"
Slap!
The impact of my palm to her face cut off her words, skin on skin contact crackling through the room and echoing into a deafening silence.
Professor Lee gasped, immediately grasping where a red mark was now forming on her cheek before looking up at me with wild eyes. "You just slapped me!" She cried in disbelief.
"You're damn right I did," I gritted my teeth, taking a threatening step towards her and raising my palm. "Want me to do it again?"
It was then that I felt Yoongi's hand on my back, the feeling having an instant calming effect over my senses whether he wanted it to or not. I sighed before visibly relaxing and lowering my hand.
"You're barbaric!" Professor Lee was foaming at the mouth, still holding her face with a slack jaw. "Are you forgetting that I'm a professor? When Dr. Kim finds out about this, I swear he'll–"
"Tell him!" I roared as loud as my vocal chords would let me. "Tell whoever, tell the whole world, I don't fucking care! I'm done with your bullshit, you selfish psychotic witch!"
With that I gave her one final shove against her shoulders, and when both of her hands flew out to grab ahold her surroundings in an effort to keep from falling over, I planted another slap right across her face. The impact stung my hand, but I didn't care. Seeing Professor Lee stumble through the air was worth it.
"Baby," Yoongi spoke in a gentle yet warning tone next to me, and I had almost forgotten he was there until I felt his grip slightly tighten around my waist. It was a comforting hold, as if to say he completely trusted and supported whatever I chose to do in this situation, but still a protective hold nonetheless. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get myself hurt.
"You know, what is your problem, exactly?" I tilted my head at her as she struggled to get her bearings straight. "Is there an actual reason you're doing all of this, or are you just mentally insane?"
"It–it's not right!" Professor Lee stuttered with wide eyes, raising a shaky finger to point at me and Yoongi. "Your relationship, it's–"
"Oh cut the bullshit, Sara," Yoongi let out a sound of disgust from beside me. "We all know that's not why."
"I... I..." she stumbled for words, wide eyes glancing back and forth between the two of us. "Who do you guys think you are? You can't just storm in here and start attacking me–"
I took a menacing step forward, pure rage making up for what I lacked in intimidation. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I fumed, reaching out to grab her again.
"No, please!" She suddenly cowered before I could get to her, shielding her head away from me with her arms. "I—Yoongi, I'm in love with you!"
Her confession sent me reeling backwards in a downwards spiral, my body instantly going limp as I watched her with a dumbfounded expression. A vast silence echoed throughout the room that could be cut with a knife before she finally spoke again.
"Ever since you started working here, I knew you were the one. I just knew it." Her voice was sad, exhausted now, and a look of defeat washed over her features.
"What?" Yoongi gaped in disbelief. "Sara, that was two years ago!"
"I know!" She spat harshly. "You don't think I know that? For two years, I had to deal with this silly crush I had on you. I had to spend every day with you, watching it bloom into love overtime, and there was nothing I could do about it."
"You could've just told me!" Yoongi exclaimed as if that was the obvious answer.
Professor Lee snorted humorlessly. "Yeah, and be made a fool of? No thanks." She lowered her eyes to the ground.
"Sara, we're grown adults. You could've acted like one and fucking said something to me about it, made a move, anything but drag my career under the bus!" Yoongi's voice was strained now, his eyes wide as if silently begging her to understand him while he was equally trying to understand her.
"I was going to!" She lashed out again while whipping her head up towards him. "I was working up the courage to ask you out on a date, and then I see that fucking slut on your lap and I–"
"Don't you dare call Y/N that," Yoongi suddenly growled, pushing past me and stepping towards her intimidatingly. "One more thing out of your mouth about her and I swear to god I will kill you right here, right now."
My breath hitched in my throat at his threat and I couldn't help but weave my arm around his to grab his hand, intertwining our fingers and squeezing tightly. He gripped mine back even tighter, as if he was desperately trying to latch onto whatever calming effect I seemed to have over him.
Professor Lee swallowed, choosing to stay silent and watch him carefully as jagged breaths rose and fell from her chest. "The point is," she continued on, "I saw you with someone else—someone who wasn't me. And that completely tore my heart to shreds."
"So the only solution is to ruin our lives," I chimed in sarcastically.
"I may not have gone about it the best way," she quickly gritted her teeth and shot me a glare before turning her attention back to Yoongi, "but I had to act on instinct. I still wanted to be with you, so I figured that maybe if I split the two of you up, you would have no one else to turn to but me."
Yoongi just stared at her, his face scrunched up in a mix of confusion and disgust. "Do you know how sick and twisted that is?" He asked.
"All I ever wanted was to be with you, Yoongi," she pleaded, her tone vulnerable now as she took a tentative step towards him and started to raise her hand up to caress his cheek. "I still do. It's not too late; we can leave now, just you and me and forget this whole thing–"
"Don't fucking touch me," he knocked her hand away with his forearm just before it could reach his face. "If you think I'm going anywhere with you, you're even crazier than I thought." He then stepped back to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me securely into his side. "I'm in love with Y/N, and I don't give a shit what rumors you or anyone else wants to spread about it. You're fucking pathetic."
At that moment there was the sound of a door bursting open, causing the three of us to turn our attention to the entrance of the room. There, standing in the doorway, was Dr. Kim.
The sight of him immediately deflated the elation I was feeling from Yoongi's words, instantly replacing them with a sense of anxiety and fear that lodged its way into my throat until I was sure I would die from suffocation. This was it; according to the text from Professor Lee, he had already seen the picture of me and Yoongi kissing. This was the moment that would decide our future forever.
I just hoped we had enough evidence against Professor Lee for him to take our side.
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"So let me get this straight." Dr. Kim folded his hands on the dark oak wood of his office desk. "Professor Min and Y/N had relations before Y/N became a student here, while Yoongi was unaware of her age?"
"Yes sir," Yoongi nodded his head in assurance.
"And then you continued your relationship, even after finding out that she was your student."
"He didn't at first," I interjected in hopes of getting some of the heat off of Yoongi. "He tried to call it off, but I kept pushing it. The reason we got back together during school was my fault, not his."
Yoongi's eyes met mine from the chair next to me, his gaze seeming to hold the words that silently spoke that's not true, and I instantly knew what he was thinking. In actuality, he had been the one to give me after-school tutoring on that Saturday during the homecoming football game, not I. He had been the one to kiss me first that day. But there was no way in hell I would ever tell that to the dean.
"I don't care whose fault it is; all that matters is that it happened," Dr. Kim frowned. "And it's still happening if I'm not mistaken, correct?"
"I... um," my eyes flickered to Yoongi, every fiber of my being starting to fill with panic. Shit, we should've discussed this beforehand. I wasn't going to willingly rat Yoongi out, no matter how many times he's said he didn't care anymore if people knew about us.
Suddenly I felt the warm, soft sensation of skin wrapping around the curvature of my hand that was resting atop the wooden armrest. "Yes, it's still happening," Yoongi spoke, and then his fingers were intertwining with mine.
I practically choked on my own spit at his words; did this boy have a death wish? A cough came sputtering out of my lungs, the sound causing everyone in the room to look at me until I'd settled down. Even Professor Lee leaned forward from her seat on the other side of Yoongi, bewilderment written all over her expression as she gave me a look of disgust.
"Well there's your proof right there." She threw her hands up in defeat before gesturing to the two of us. "What more do you need? Expel them, Dr. Kim."
"B–but that's not it!" I suddenly exclaimed and lurched forward, feeling the heat of everyone's stare on our embraced hands, which in turn only made me grip him even harder for support. "Dr. Kim, you have to believe me when I tell you that Professor Lee has worked hard to make my life a living hell ever since I got to this school. She had a vendetta against me; she's in love with Yoongi, and so she–"
"That's not true!" Professor Lee screeched.
"She worked to turn people against us rather than coming to you because she wanted to blackmail Yoongi into being with her," I ignored her interjection and continued. "She even made a seminar about it—the mandatory seminar that everyone attended today!"
The dean turned his attention towards her. "The seminar about the importance of practicing safe sex?" He questioned in bewilderment.
My eyes practically bulged out of my head at his words; that's what she was telling everyone it was about?
"It was!" She scrambled in defense. "I mean I... I may have brought up Yoongi and Y/N as an example, but that's only because they fit the part! Y/N had a pregnancy scare not too long ago, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to our students!"
I felt the color draining from my face, blanching it a stone cold white and decimating any feeling I had left in my body.
How the fuck did she know about the pregnancy?
My head instantly whipped towards Yoongi to see if he had any logical explanation for this, and his face was as poised and stoic as ever in front of his two colleagues—but I could see through it. I knew him well enough to catch onto the slightest falter in his blinking, the increase in heat that collected between our palms, the small twitch of his mouth that would've gone unnoticed by anyone else who observed him. I knew there was no way he could've told Professor Lee about the pregnancy, because he was just as blindsided as I was.
Dr. Kim simply raised his eyebrows in interest before turning back to Yoongi and me.
"Dr. Kim," Yoongi spoke, his voice dripping with amusement, "I mean no disrespect, but do you honestly think that if Y/N had a pregnancy scare, we would tell Sara about it? Come on; not after all she did to us."
"They—they didn't tell me!" Professor Lee huffed out a desperate breath. "I overheard them while I was–"
"While you were what?" I interrupted with a raise of my eyebrow. "While you were spying on us to find any blackmail you could use on Yoongi?"
"N–no!" She stuttered, though at this point it was obvious that she was making up lies on the spot. "While I was walking past the classroom!"
"Why would we be talking about that with the door open?!"
"Enough!" Dr. Kim barked, his deep voice rumbling throughout the small office. We all grew silent as we turned our attention to him. "There will be no arguing of he said/she said in my office," he scolded, then turned his attention to Yoongi before speaking. "I understand that there was someone you wanted me to see?"
Yoongi, who had remained calm during all of this, simply nodded his head before releasing my hand. "Yes, sir," he said as he stood up and walked towards the door.
My eyebrows were knitted in confusion as I watched it all transpire: the words exchanged between the two men, Yoongi rising out of his seat, the sight of my biology professor being revealed behind the closed door. The whole thing came as a surprise to me, and my emotions seemed to be having a war between the shock and relief that I felt raging like a storm in the pit of my stomach.
Why didn't Yoongi tell me about Professor Park being involved in this discussion? When did he have time to ask her to come? Did it even matter at this point?
"Professor Park," Dr. Kim widened his eyes, his frame physically reclining back in his seat. "I'm surprised to see you here."
"As am I to be here," she smiled though her voice was venomous, eyes flashing to a very alarmed Professor Lee.
"Mia?!" The woman barked in disbelief at her friend's entrance. "What are you doing here?"
"Something I should've done a long time ago," Professor Park replied, and with that she turned towards the dean and opened her mouth to speak.
"I'm here to testify on the behalf of Min Yoongi and Y/N."
Earth-shattering elation rippled through me from the inside out, starting at the base of my toes and spiraling to the top of my head and the tips of my fingers, causing them to tingle and buzz with a newfound sense of hope. We might actually have a chance!
"What?!" Professor Lee's voice ripped through the air in a deafening screech. "This isn't a court case! You don't get to play witness!"
"Actually, if Professor Park has witnessed anything, I would definitely like to know," Dr. Kim chimed in, raising an eyebrow towards my biology professor.
Professor Park nodded her head towards him in appreciation before speaking. "A few months ago Sara approached me in my classroom to tell me about the nasty rumors that were surrounding her and a student. She singled the student out, saying to purposely damage their grades because they were treating her unfairly and disrespecting her rules and authority as a professor; she even went so far as to say that they were sending her death threats"
"What?!" The word ripped from my throat faster than I could blink as I stared jaw-dropped at the women in the room.
"That's not true!" Professor Lee instantly protested as expected. "Sir, I can assure you that I never–"
"I have the text messages if you want," Professor Park offered in a tone so nonchalant one would've thought she was conversing about the weather.
Dr. Kim raised an eyebrow. "Text messages? I thought you said she came by your class?"
"She did, sir." Mia interlaced her fingers in front of her and bowed her head politely. "We spoke about it on multiple occasions. I asked why she wouldn't just go to you, or even the authorities if the student was making death threats, but Sara was adamant. She didn't want any scandals revolving around her so that she could maintain the level of professionalism that she had developed here."
I heard a snort coming from next to me, and it was with a swollen heart of pride that I realized the sound came from Yoongi trying to hold in a laugh.
Professionalism? Her? I had never heard anything so far fetched in my life.
Sara simply glared as Mia ignored him and continued. "She assured me that the best way to deal with this pesky student was to slowly start to fail them, and I'll admit, I was angry for her. Sara was my friend, and I respected her enough to believe what she was telling me and follow her requests." She turned her head to where I sat on the other side of Yoongi. "That student was you, Y/N. And I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for the way I handled things. You were treated unfairly and poorly due to false information."
"It wasn't false!" Professor Lee jumped in to defend herself, but everyone was pretty much ignoring her. Even the dean could tell she was playing the part of the boy who cried wolf at this point.
"I'd like to see those text messages, if you don't mind." Dr. Kim reached his hand out expectantly.
There was a brief moment of silence while Professor Park nodded and tapped away on her phone before handing it to him. His cold and calculated eyes scanned the screen while saying nothing, all three of us waiting with bated breath for him to come to a decision in his mind.
There was no where left for her to run. With these text messages, all the constant denying that Professor Lee has done will be proven false and she will be exposed for all the hell she's put me through this semester. My heart was practically bursting at the thought.
"Well I would've appreciated it if you ladies had come to me with this information instead of handling it amongst yourselves, true or not," Dr. Kim finally sighed before giving Sara his full attention. "Ms. Lee, you have three people accusing you. Even if you didn't do it, there's obviously something that's turning them against you. And here at this university we strive to hold cooperation and communication above all else. If you don't get along with the fellow staff here, then why should I believe that they're the problem and not you?"
"Um, because Min Yoongi is fucking his student?!" Professor Lee was fuming now, her upper body lurching forward in her seat and her hands gripping the arm rests for dear life. "He literally just admitted to it!"
"Language, Ms. Lee," Dr. Kim scolded calmly. "I still like to maintain a professional attitude here in my office."
"I apologize sir, but that's beside the point." She was sitting back in her seat now, though her tone was no less frantic. "Min Yoongi is in a relationship with his student, and staff cooperation or not, I don't really think that's in the teacher handbook." She raised a snarky eyebrow at us as if believing that she had finally won.
I knitted my eyebrows, my palms feeling slick with a nervous sweat against Yoongi's as I realized the bigger problem here. It wasn't whatever lies and schemes Professor Lee had cooked up with my biology teacher; it wasn't even Professor Lee herself. It was the fact that Yoongi and I were in a relationship, and that was going to have enough consequences alone to shake me to my very core with fear.
"She's right," Dr. Kim uttered the words that I was silently hoping he wouldn't say, my grip tightening on Yoongi as I anticipated whatever outcome he's decided. Our fate was in his hands.
"Of course I am." Professor Lee crossed her arms and sat back in her seat with a smug grin.
"I'm afraid I have no choice." He was shaking his head, frowning at us apologetically though the sentiment didn't reach his eyes. "Mr. Min, I am sorry to inform you that you will have to be forced to resign from our university."
The color instantly drained from my face, and with it pulling all five senses that I have into the depths of the earth until I couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't speak—I could barely even breathe. There was a lump that was forming in my throat and settling deep within my gut, all of this feeling fake, too fake to be real.
Yoongi was fired, and it was all because of me.
"I understand, sir."
It was Yoongi's words that were pulling me from my fog of disbelief and devastation, my eyes blinking in an effort to snap back to reality as I looked from him to the dean. "No. No, there has to be something we can do, please!" I begged, my voice starting to get frantic the more the severity of the situation hit me. "I–I'll drop out! You don't have to worry about me ever coming near here again, just please, please don't fire him!"
"Y/N..." Yoongi's voice was quiet and full of resignation, defeat, but I wasn't giving up.
"Yoongi is an amazing professor who has worked here for, what, two years? He's extraordinary at what he does and students love him. It's not easy to find a professor like that everyday." I was staring into the eyes of the dean now, trying to move him with my words. "You shouldn't throw away someone as great as him just because of some stupid 18 year old's mistake! Please, Dr Kim." I leaned forward in my seat, the room silent as I spoke. "He wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. Please, let me suffer the consequences, not him."
I continued to stare in Dr. Kim's eyes, silently channeling my emotions through the pleading expression in my eyes, and it wasn't until I felt a comforting hand on my back that I was instantly drawn away into a more calm state in my chair. I gazed over at the owner of the hand, and he flashed back that smile I loved except it was sad, and it didn't reach his eyes, and I could tell there was so much he wanted to say to me right now if we weren't in the confinement of his boss' office.
"I understand your efforts, Y/N, but there's nothing I can do." Dr. Kim shook his head, and it was as if the world around me was shattering into blades of glass, scraping at my skin and leaving bloody wounds that I knew would never heal. "Mr. Min was involved in this relationship as well, and no matter whose fault it is, the professor needs to be held accountable. There is a level of professionalism and maturity that he must possess in order to work here; he's your superior, a respectable authority figure, and so he should've known better."
It was all I could do to keep from crying as I lowered my eyes and shook my head, every inch of my heart breaking for Yoongi until all that was left were tiny fragments to scatter in the wind. I couldn't believe I'd done this to him. The very thing he'd been worried about from the start—I had ruined his career.
"It is our goal as a university to see our students succeed," he continued, though I could barely hear a thing. "As for you, Y/N, I see no reason as to why you shouldn't keep attending this university."
I blinked a few times, confused. "You want me to... what?"
"You will have a suspension on your student records, mind you, and one more of those will lead to expulsion," he explained. "Though that doesn't mean that you can't keep going to school here. You will have to meet with an advisor every two weeks, though, who will be keeping a close watch on your behavior."
I could barely even believe my ears; had my hearing been completely lost due to the shock of the situation? "That's totally a double standard!" I gestured to Yoongi in disbelief.
"Y/N, it's okay..." Yoongi tried to calm me down.
"No, it's not okay!" I roared, eyes wide and brows furrowed in disbelief as I glanced at him before turning back to the dean. "Where do you think you can get off by treating people like this? This is his career—his life!"
"That will be enough from you, Ms. Y/N," Dr. Kim bellowed in a stern voice as he frowned. "I'm doing you a favor here by letting you continue your education. Speak out against me one more time and I will be revoking that offer."
His words were deafening throughout the office; it was suddenly understandable why he was so feared by those who worked under him. Yoongi started to run his hand along my spine in a soothing manner, and though it helped relax my fiery nerves and clear my foggy mind, I was still just as upset—if not more, now that the information was beginning to settle in.
"So that's it then?" Professor Lee spoke for the first time in a while, her lips pressed into a firm line, obviously disappointed by the turn of events though she didn't dare to speak out against Dr. Kim as he had warned. "Yoongi gets fired and Y/N gets a free ride?"
"Not so fast, Ms. Lee." The dean turned to her. "What you did was beyond unprofessional. You violated several school policies as well as bullied a student! Do you think that type of behavior is acceptable as a professor?"
Professor Lee opened her mouth as if to protest before slowly shutting it again, realizing that she had nothing left that she hadn't already denied. It was obvious that the evidence given to him by Professor Park, who stood silent in the corner of the room, was incriminating enough to sway his decision.
"I'm sorry to have to inform you that you will be fired as well."
"What?!" Her shrill voice screeched through the air, tearing whatever I had left of my eardrums and rendering me deaf here in this office. "What I did was no where near as bad as Yoongi and Y/N!"
"If anything, it was worse." Dr. Kim folded his hands over his desk. "Let's not forget that you managed to involve the entire student body in a false seminar that maliciously exposed one of our students and professors," he raised an eyebrow at her, "and that was just today."
"Yeah, not to mention all the other shit you did behind my back to make my life a living hell," I couldn't help from interjecting in a heated tone, though I backed off upon seeing the dean's stern gaze.
He redirected his attention back to Sara. "Here at this university, we strive to have a professional relationship, safe environment, and healthy lifestyle for our students. Neither of you achieved those three goals, so both of you will have to be let go."
Yoongi's expression simply remained placid and free of any emotion while Professor Lee's reaction was practically visceral, though neither spoke a word as heavy silence fell over the small office.
"Am I... am I still needed, sir?" It was Professor Park whose voice broke through the tension, everyone having forgotten she was there in the midst of the emotion-filled chaos. "Because if not, then I'm going to go."
"No, I'm just about finished here." Dr. Kim let out a sigh, as if what just transpired had been hard on him out of all people in the room. My blood boiled just looking at him, though I know I had to learn when to speak out and when to bite my tongue as Yoongi had taught me.
"Dr. Kim, is there any way you can reconsi–"
"That will be enough from you, Ms. Lee," his booming voice interrupted the frantic professor. "I've said all that I need to say on the matter. I'm not changing my mind."
"Dr. Kim?" I spoke up just as Professor Lee and Professor Park were getting ready to walk out the door. "I–I have something else to tell you. Un-related to this," I threw in when I saw him throw a glance in Lee's direction.
The man sighed before waving them out, leaving his office empty of visitors other than me and Yoongi in the chairs. I wasn't going to let that boy go anywhere.
"Y/N, I'm sorry that the outcome isn't exactly what you wanted but I'm afraid there's nothing I can–"
"Choi Junwoo tried to rape me," I blurted out.
There was a moment's pause as the dean was stunned silent with wide eyes, and out of my peripheral vision I could see Yoongi tense up and inhale sharply next to me.
"W–what–"
"Choi Junwoo," I spoke slowly for him so that he'd understand, "a student here at this university, tried to rape me at a frat party."
I couldn't leave the office without saying it. I couldn't leave the office without telling him. This wasn't just about me or the turmoil or trauma he caused; this was for every other girl in the future who might be a victim of Jun. Though in my heart I truthfully believed he was a good person, and that he really was just intoxicated beyond belief that night, it was still no excuse. If he had rape-tendencies while he was drunk and I didn't speak out about it, then I would be no better when it came to helping other sexual assault victims.
"Are you sure–"
"I found them at the party while he was mid-act," Yoongi jumped in, probably figuring he was already fired so there was nothing left for him to lose when it came to revealing details about our relationship outside of school. "It was... disgusting. I got her out of there immediately, but not before punching that bastard in the face."
"Metaphorically, of course!" I couldn't help but chime in, not wanting an assault charge to be on his record as well.
Thankfully Dr. Kim simply brushed off that minuet detail in favor for the more important issue at hand. "Y/N, what you're telling me will ruin this student's future. Are you absolutely sure you want to file this?"
Despite the anger that swelled up inside of me from him questioning my accusation, I still couldn't help the little trickle of doubt that crept in as I considered his words. At one point, Jun had been a friend... maybe even a potential lover had Yoongi not been in the picture. Dr. Kim was right, this information could potentially ruin his reputation, his education, his record... was I ready to carry the weight of knowledge that I've ruined someone's life forever?
"What are you talking about? Of course!" Yoongi spat an answer before I even had a chance to finish my thoughts. "She told you what happened, didn't she? Why would she speak out about something like this if she was making it up?"
"Maybe a personal vendetta?" The dean shrugged his shoulders. "People will do crazy things for revenge."
Now that got me heated. "The only one who wanted revenge here was Junwoo!" I stood up from my seat to yell. "He liked me and was mad that I turned him down. As if I owed my feelings to him or something! And when I told him no, he forced himself on me?! Is that really the type of message you want to send at this college? You know, since you're so high and mighty on "cooperation"," I did air quotes of sarcasm around my last words, my ears practically steaming with boiling rage.
"We will come out about this story, by the way," Yoongi added in, his voice full of venom. "And how will that look if you tried to keep us silent?"
"You can forget about me attending this university," I hissed.
"Alright, alright, settle down, the both of you," Dr. Kim lowered his hands in a calming manner. "I was not suggesting I buy your silence or anything of that nature. I was simply making sure you wanted to go through with this."
"Yes," Yoongi and I both answered in unison.
The dean nodded his head before clasping his hands together. "Alright."
The rest of the time in the office with spent filling on paperwork on a claim against Junwoo. I'd been given the option to be kept in the loop or even present when everything went down, though I politely declined. I wanted nothing more to do with that boy.
Though it would seem Professor Lee didn't share the same sentiment when it came to me, because as soon as soon as the two of us walked hand in hand into the hallway and Dr. Kim's door was securely shut, she sprung into action.
"You bitch!" She shrieked, not wasting another second as she leaped through the air and onto my body like a crouched tiger that was waiting for the right moment to attack. I felt the pressure of her weight against my chest and the sting of her nails scraping against my cheek, and before I knew it I was stumbling down, down onto the ground with another vicious blow to my jaw that was accompanied by her fist.
It all happened within a matter of seconds, but it wasn't long until I heard Yoongi yell Sara! and then her weight vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.
All I could do was stare with wide eyes as Yoongi slammed her shoulders back against the wall, though it was the look in his eyes that caught my attention. I had seen that expression before.
He was about to throw a punch.
"Yoongi, stop!" I cried, summoning all the strength I possessed to push myself to my feet and stumble over to the pair.
Yoongi whipped his head towards me with exasperated, almost wild eyes and his brows knitted in confusion and disbelief. "Y/N, she attacked you!"
"She isn't worth it," I spoke firmly in an attempt to get through to him. "Yoongi, just let it go. She isn't worth the trouble anymore."
It was when I placed a soothing hand against his back that Yoongi finally sighed, his stance visibly relaxing and his hands dropping from Professor Lee's shoulders. "She's right," he spit in a low, venomous tone as he turned back to her and grit his teeth. "Thanks to Dr. Kim, you already got what you deserve."
"Yoongi," there were sudden sobs that were tearing through the hallway, and it took me a moment to realize that Professor Lee was now... crying.
"Yoongi," she continued as she clung onto his shoulders. "Yoongi, I loved you!"
Somewhere deep inside of me, past all the burning hatred for what this woman has done to my life out of pure jealousy, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy for her. This was once me, heartbroken over the effects of unrequited love. Yoongi was a very sought-after man, I'd come to realize, and it wasn't about my feelings or Professor Lee's or anyone else's. It was about his.
"Sara," Yoongi sighed, and there was almost a wince in his tone from how hard he was trying to make her understand. "It's over."
"W–what?" The woman was scrambling now. "It doesn't have to be! We can go back to the way things were–"
"There never was a ‘we’!" He ripped her hands from his shoulders. "We were friends, and then you sabotaged my career and Y/N's education. You never once spoke out about your feelings, came forward, handled things like adults," he stressed the last line. "You never once did any of those things! Instead you belittled another woman and cost yourself your job all for a man—someone who until now, was your friend." Yoongi sighed again and shook his head. "I hope you get the help you need, Sara. I'm sure there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally... but that person is not me."
And with that, he put a gentle hand on my back and we walked away.
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“Oh my god.”
Those were the first words out of my mouth the second we exited the building, my hands resting on my head in disbelief as I turned to Yoongi. “Holy shit, Yoongi–“
“Shhh,” he instantly consoled me, his arms engulfing me in a comforting hug and my face tucking underneath his chin as he held me close. “We did it, Y/N. It’s all over.”
I stayed in his embrace for a few moments as his words sunk in. It was all over. No more secrets, no more Professor Lee—no more anything.
“B–but your job...” I pulled away to look up at him with a shaky tone, my brows furrowed in concern. “Dr. Kim fired you, he–“
“I resigned, Y/N. There’s a difference.”
“Is there?” I couldn’t help but look up at him with a hopeless expression.
Yoongi simply nodded his head, the picture of nonchalance as if his career hadn’t just changed forever. “Yes. If I had gotten fired, it would look terrible on my resumĂ© should I apply for another teaching position. However, given the circumstances of our arrangement...” he paused, no doubt thinking of Professor Lee, “I suppose he decided to take it easy on us all.”
My shoulders deflated in relief. “Well thank god for that...” I sighed, not even wanting to think of what could’ve happened if Dr. Kim had given us the harshest punishment. In an ironic, twisted way, I suppose I have Professor Lee to thank for that. If she wouldn’t have made my life a living hell, it would’ve been that much worse if Dr. Kim ever found out on his own.
“But none of that even matters to me right now,” Yoongi suddenly snapped, and then in the time it took me to raise an questioning eyebrow he had already grabbed both sides of my face and rammed his lips into mine, the same as he did before we went inside to confront Professor Lee.
Only this time, the kiss was different. It didn’t hold promises and potential; it held freedom. It held the success of finally getting through everything by the skin of our teeth, the relief and the pride and the pure love that we have for each other after overcoming everything that we’ve been through together. I kissed him and I didn’t care who saw—because he wasn’t my professor anymore. There were no invisible chains that bounded us apart. It was just me and him sticking together against all odds. Never in my life did I think I would ever be a part of a relationship so committed, so passionate, so determined. He and I would never stop fighting for each other.
“I love you, Min Yoongi,” I murmured against his mouth with a grin on my features that was hard to disguise—especially when I felt the corners of his lips pull up into that gummy smile that I adored with all of my heart.
“God, I love you too, Y/N,” he replied back with a content sigh, and then he continued to kiss me on the busy campus sidewalk until we were both breathless and blue in the face.
Because we now had nothing to lose.
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Despite finally being released from the clutches that school had on us, the days following the meeting with Dr. Kim were not easy.
Other than having to put on a fake smile and continue attending a university where practically everyone knew about my relationship with now-former Professor Min (my mother would never let me drop out—not that I could ever tell her the reason I'd want to, anyways), there were the stresses that Yoongi was dealing with of now being unemployed. And what with all but abandoning my dorm room to instead spend my nights with him at his apartment, it was impossible to not feel the weight of his problems on my shoulders as well. No matter how many times Yoongi tried to put up a façade and reassure me that he was okay, I couldn't help but feel like this was my fault.
"If I just never would've made you dance with me at that club..." I'd say at times, unable to keep from tracing back each and every one of our interactions and blaming myself.
"Cut that out," Yoongi would snap.
"What? It's true!"
"You know I don't like it when you talk like that!" He'd turn to me with a stern tone. "I don't regret anything that happened between us, okay? Not one single bit." There was a heavy silence as his words would hang in the air. "If you wouldn't have asked me to dance, then who knows if I ever would've worked up the courage to kiss you? And I wouldn't be here, sharing this bed with the love of my life."
"Aw, Yoongi..."
And the two of us would make love, again and again until we'd have a similar argument some time later and repeat the whole process all over again. I'd feel guilty, Yoongi would remind me of exactly how much he doesn't regret meeting me, and we'd get lost in each other's embrace.
That is, until a simple Sunday morning suddenly changed everything.
"I got it."
I casually peered over at the sound of him from my spot in the living room, sitting criss crossed on the couch in my pajamas with a laptop in my lap. "What?"
"The job." Yoongi's voice was low, serious as he stared at the paper in his hands that had previously been so carelessly disregarded on the kitchen island along with the Sunday paper. "At the university in Seoul."
"Wait." He had all of my attention now as I sat the laptop on the coffee table and rose to my feet. "Like the Seoul National University university?"
"Yeah," he let out a single chuckle of disbelief before he pressed the paper against the counter and turned to me. "I got the job."
"Oh my god, Yoongi!" I exclaimed with my own chuckle of disbelief before running forward and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms immediately engulfed my waist and lifted me off the ground as we spun around in place, my lips instantly finding his in a searing kiss that was full of passion and excitement to match our current mood. "That's amazing!"
"I know," he replied as he placed me down. A tentative smile was frozen on his lips as he stared off into the distance before letting out another sound of disbelief, his head shaking before his palm slid down his face. "I can't believe it!"
"I'm so proud of you!" I mirrored the grin of pure elation on his features, my chest swelling with joy and relief and most of all, pride.
I was so, so proud of Yoongi. I knew how much his job meant to him, and the feeling of guilt that weighed down on me from knowing that I was the one who inadvertently took that away from him, that I was the one who inadvertently caused all this stress of job hunting was instantly lifted off my shoulders. I knew how much he wanted this. I knew how hard he had worked to get this job at such a prestigious school, and god damn it, I knew how much he deserved it. If Yoongi was anything, apart from being an amazing person and a wonderful lover, he was great at his job. He was a natural born teacher.
Though no matter how many times I've willingly showered him with endless compliments about his work, he'd blush sheepishly and simply swat away all of my words with a simple kiss, or an "if you don't shut up your food is going to get cold. We're unemployed now; we need all the nutrition we can get. Haven't you ever heard of the Great Depression?"
So instead, I just chose to beam at him while he basked in the euphoria of the moment that this job acceptance brought on. After all, I knew he was well aware of how proud of him I was and how supportive I'd always be when it came to anything he wanted to accomplish.
Though the bliss was short lived.
I watched as Yoongi's expression slowly fell, the smile on his face slipping into a deep frown and his eyes turning to stone. "No."
"What?" I furrowed my brows, concern filling me and etching onto my features as I cupped his cheek in my hand, trying to figure out why his mood had changed so suddenly. "What's wrong?"
"I'm not taking it." His tone was cold, definitive, as if the subject wasn't even up for debate as he grabbed the letter.
"Wait wait wait," I hurried to stop him from tearing it in half. "What are you talking about? Why not?"
He turned to look at me with cold, incredulous eyes, as if he couldn't believe I was even asking a question so stupid. "The university is in Seoul, Y/N."
"Okay...?" I shook my head in confusion, still not understanding what the issue was. "And?"
"I'd have to move." He was taking the paper back out of my hands and ripping it right down the middle before I got the chance to stop him.
I suddenly deflated, the severity of his words dropping in my stomach and wrapping around the anchor of my heart, sending it down, down, down through the floor of his apartment and hurdling towards the center of the earth.
"...What?"
"I'd have to move away from you."
And there is was, the bomb detonating an explosion and demolishing whatever was left of my heart.
"No... t–there has to be another way, there has to–"
"Seoul is hours away from here, Y/N," Yoongi barked out, his tone angry and harsh as it always was when he was upset. "It's on the other side of the country; there's no way I'd be able to commute without living there."
"Okay, so why did you apply then?" I couldn't help but snap back defensively. "You knew the distance to Seoul prior to applying for the job. Why even bother if you're just going to get pissed about not taking it?!"
"Because I didn't think I'd get accepted!" His voice was loud, almost yelling now. "It's the most sought after, prestigious school in the fucking country and I didn't think some young idiot who got fired from his last job would be able to get in!"
It was silent as his words settled over the atmosphere, clinging to the air that filled the room around us and encasing my lungs until it was impossible to breathe.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I finally hissed. "You're a great teacher, and you know it. If anyone's a young idiot here, it's me!"
Yoongi scoffed with a shake of his head. "I'm the one who kissed you again during that tutoring session after telling you to stay away. I'm the one who fucked you against that desk." His tone was low now, and his eyes seemed to grow harder in realization with each step that he took towards me. "I'm the one who asked to take you out on that fucking date and I'm the one who pulled you onto my lap when Sara caught us in my classroom! God damn it, I'm the one who tracked you down at a fucking frat party and punched one of my students!"
His voice slowly raised until he was yelling again, and if it weren’t for the fact that he was now standing chest to chest and cornering me up against the countertop of the island, I would've winced at the loud volume so close to my ears.
"Stop blaming yourself, Y/N, when I'm the one who was the authority figure. I'm the one who should've had my shit together, but I just couldn't around you!"
I felt myself soften at that. As angry and intimidating as he seemed right now, surely frightening whoever would come into contact with him when he was like this, I knew that it was all a front. Yoongi wasn't the best at dealing with emotional situations—he'd all but bite my head off any time I even tried to mention his father—and sometimes lashed out in anger when he was upset or hurting inside. I knew how badly he wanted this job; I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice when he'd first submitted the application. And now, when the career position of his dreams was finally right under his nose, he couldn't have it. Because I was holding him back.
"You have to take it." My voice was solemn and steady as I stared him in the eyes.
He instantly frowned. "What? No, I–"
"Yoongi."
He fell silent, all signs of anger and malice wiped from his features once he saw just how serious I was being. A soft, bittersweet smile that had nothing to do with happiness slowly tugged at my lips as my eyes gleamed with pain. My heart was breaking with every word I was speaking, but I knew it was something I needed to do.
"You have to take the job."
The silence that ensued my words only further proved my point, simultaneously stabbing a knife into my chest with each passing second. He knew I was right. He knew it. He just didn't want to hear it.
"You don't..." He sounded smaller, more pitiful and confused as he tried to make sense of what I was saying. "You don't want me to stay?"
The hurt, the sadness, the utter hopelessness in his voice absolutely crushed me. I couldn't help but fall into his embrace, wrapping my arms around his chest and squeezing tightly as if I could somehow hold the pieces of him together that I knew were breaking. The severity of what was happening, of what I was doing started to settle within me the moment I heard his voice break.
"I do, baby," I replied, the sound muffled by the skin of his neck that my face was buried in as a sob threatened to claw its way out of my throat and swallow me whole. "God, you know I do. But you can't."
"Y–you can come with me." He was shaking his head now, his hands gripping at the shirt on my back with closed fists while he desperately tried to hold onto me, as if I would disappear beneath him at any moment. "We can move together to Seoul and you can–"
"You know I can't, Yoongi." It was my turn to shake my head, and with it came a heavy tear that fell down my cheek. "I have to go to school. I have a family who's helping pay for my tuition, and my mom— you know it's not all up to me."
I heard him sniffle as he pulled away, and even though I felt no evidence of tears from him against my skin or my shirt, his eyes were bright red when he stared back at me.
"I'm not leaving you, Y/N."
The sheer determination in his voice had me shattering like broken glass. "I'm not letting you do this, Yoongi. I'm not letting you waste this opportunity. Do you know how many people are waiting to work at Seoul University? How many professors would kill to be in your position?" I kept my gaze steadily on his as I slowly shook my head. "I care about you... so fucking much. I've never loved someone so much before... not like this." I paused, asking myself one last time if this was really the decision I wanted to make as my words settled in. I took in the sight of his beautiful, breathtaking features silently begging me not to do this. "I'm putting you above my selfishness," I finally decided with another shake of my head. "You need to do this Yoongi, for you. You know you do."
Yoongi slowly shook his head, though the expression on his face told me he knew I was right. "I don't want to lose you," he spoke as a tear spilled over the brim of his eye, dampening his lashes and leaving a wet streak in its wake as it rolled down his cheek, and the sight was the final breaking point that had me bursting into tears.
"Neither do I."
His fingers dug into my skin as he tightened his grip on my body, his forehead leaning against mine as the only sounds exchanged between the two of us were the unspoken words of labored breaths and soft sobs.
Sometimes when you love someone, you have to do what's best for them.
And I knew this was what's best for Yoongi.
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bloodpenned · 3 years ago
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all your ocs are so interesting?? all of them seriously have me TT i hope you expand on them in your own because i don't want to spam you asdfjk but i'm super curious about the school bff and immortal masochistic wifey, if you could tell us more about them please n(_ _)n
i don't in the history of the universe has ever minded being spammed abt their ocs <333!!! so don't worry about it pls ^^!! also i was not joking when i said most of these people do not have names. i am very terrible with picking names aslfdkjASLKJF so nicknames it is for now <3
cw: implied gore, implied hypnosis, extremely dubious consent
BFF is... Hm, what is she? Silly you, she's a completely normal, average, everyday first-year student just like you! But you aren't sure when she joined your classes, or your study, for that matter. Since you seem to share all of them, even the ones you're taking purely because you're interested in them... There's something off about her. It's not even just that she stands out in her neon bright, flashy clothes, rather that she seems to change height depending on the day. That her hair moves when she isn't. She sat next to you, and once you started talking to her, you couldn't look away anymore. As soon as she spoke, her voice clear and pleasing, a jolt goes through you. (you want to be good you want to make her smile you want to make her happy you do you do you do do you?)
You return to your senses as soon as you're far enough away from her, but when she's near, you find yourself slowly lured into going along with whatever she wants. And she's has absolutely 0 sense of boundaries or personal space. Whatever she wants, you're pulled along with it. Wrapping herself around you while walking to your next seminar or lecture, cooing about how cute you are as her hands wander to squeeze your chest and thighs. She's awfully fond of you, really!! BFF just wants to stuff you full already~ But she's gotta wait a bit :(
and wifey!! Wifey was a strong fighter back in her time, and for her achievements, was granted immortality by the patron deity of her city. So it may continue to be prosper. But, well... Immortality is, besides the obvious, not known for its plethora of positives. Everyone she knew has passed on and the drag of life has become unbearable, leaving her at a loss for what to do. Along the way, she's lost what she wanted to protect. The city that once loved her so much, that hallowed her name and looked up at her in awe, served only to bring back painful memories. She left one day, never to return. Her name has become little more than a legend.
In comes you. Somehow, you've tracked her down, and end up in front of her door all bright-eyed and full of life. Pleading her to train you. She envies you, she pities you. A part of her respects you, for having the drive to push this far for what you believe in. You still have ties binding you to this place. After promising not to lead any more people to her home, she takes you in. (Though it's not like she would let you leave.)
It doesn't take long for you to catch on something's... Not right with her. What kind of instructor would make you stab her on purpose?
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ukeishin · 4 years ago
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— friends forever and ever and ever
note: im impatient so im posting rn 😁 but i’ve been having a lot of hinata thoughts lately. pls let me know what you thought of this!! i’d love to know :)
ft. hinata shoyo
warning: angst, hanahaki disease, unrequited love, blood
‷ main page
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You had no one to blame but yourself for your current predicament.
Your waste bin overflowing, your desk in total disarray, and your floor a mess as well.
Then again, it wasn’t like you intended to fall for Hinata, you muse, picking up one of the red-tinged petals you coughed up only moments ago. Using the sleeve of your sweatshirt, you carefully wipe off the blood that’s collected at the corner of your mouth. You grimace when you pull your arm away from your lips and see how crimson now stains the material of your sweatshirt. You’ll have to toss it into the wash later with all of your other blood-stained clothing.
The wooden frame of your bed digs into your back as you lean your head against your mattress. You wince at the sharp pain in your chest when you accidentally take a deep breath and begin to shallow your breathing so as to not further aggravate the flowers blooming in your lungs. Pity how something so beautiful only grows in such unfortunate circumstances. If you didn’t feel like absolute shit at the moment, perhaps you’d be able to admire it.
Hanahaki disease. The physical manifestation of unrequited love.
What a load of shit.
It’s rather dramatic in your opinion, and quite frankly rude. How dare your body betray your true feelings when the object of your affections so clearly does not feel the same way?
A tired grin crosses your face at the thought of Hinata: the man who’s been one of your closest friends ever since high school. Reflecting back, it was truly only a matter of time before you fell for him. While the two of you attended Karasuno, you were able to chalk up your feelings to those of friendship, but as time progressed, they evolved and soon enough morphed into romantic ones.
In high school, you successfully fooled yourself into believing your feelings were platonic.
At the time, Hinata was strictly your friend. You weren’t blind, you could appreciate that he was cute, in a boyish sort of way, but you were more preoccupied with things you deemed more important: schoolwork, managerial duties for the boys' volleyball team, and worries about your future.
But Hinata had somehow inserted himself in your life and stuck.
He was hopeless in school and the moment he found out that you scored relatively well in comparison to him, he begged you to tutor him. You were a bit skeptical at first, but you eventually relented. You were pleasantly surprised to find that Hinata was eager to learn the material and attentively listened to what you had to say, even if it was only because passing his exams was the only way for him to attend the Tokyo training camp.
You admired Hinata's tenacity and often stayed behind after practice had ended in the gymnasium to help him run drills over and over. He was determined to be the best he could be, and you didn’t mind helping him achieve his goals even if you weren’t exactly well-versed in volleyball. He would seek out your input and if you had any critiques or advice for him, Hinata would take it to heart and incorporate it into his next play.
Soon you began to spend time together outside of tutoring sessions and volleyball practices. You’d hang out with Natsu together and indulge in her whims and desires: weaving friendship bracelets, painting rocks, playing volleyball, and more. Your presence in the Hinata household became normalized, to the point where you could show up at their front door unannounced, and Natsu would simply throw the door open and exclaim, “big sibling!”
You’ve always been the greatest of friends so you’re not entirely sure when the change occurred.
Maybe it was when he left for Brazil. While Hinata was continents away playing volleyball, you remained in Japan attending university. It was easy to distract yourself with schoolwork and internships, but at the end of the day, you missed Hinata terribly. You two did your best to keep in contact with text messages and facetime, but with the time difference, it was difficult. It wasn’t the same and no amount of homework could fill that Hinata-shaped void in your life.
Up until that point, you didn’t realize just how much Hinata had weaseled his way into your life. It wasn’t like your life had ever revolved solely around Hinata, but you had grown accustomed to his presence. No matter what, you could always count on him to be there for you with a bright smile and some silly, but encouraging words.
It was when Hinata returned from Brazil after two years abroad that you realized you were completely and utterly fucked.
He had grown into himself in more ways than one. He carried himself with more confidence than he did before and his features weren’t cute in a boyish way anymore. He had matured and to put it bluntly, Hinata got fucking hot. His skin was sun-kissed, a beautiful golden tan, and he had grown a few inches taller in his time away. The muscles that lie right underneath his skin were strong and corded, and it didn’t go unnoticed how the muscles in his thighs were especially prominent. There was no doubt that Hinata had changed greatly in his time spent in Brazil, but then again, some things never really change. He still had that same old grin, which would brighten your day no matter the circumstances.
The two of you were able to pick up your friendship right where it left off.
That’s when the flowers had started to bloom.
You were unlucky even in comparison to others who suffered from Hanahaki disease. Most of the time, the growth of the flowers in one’s lungs would be gradual. However, in your case, it was accelerated. The first time you experienced a coughing fit, you filled your waste bin to the brim with bloodied petals.
You suppose it was because the realization that you were in love with Hinata had hit you like a freight train.
You did your best to conceal that you had Hanahaki disease. It would do no good to worry anyone with it, especially Hinata. Being in love with someone who didn’t love you was one thing. Being in love with an idiot who didn’t love you was another. If Hinata learned that you had Hanahaki, his first question would be “Who’s responsible?” and it would take everything within you to not scream that it was him.
So you crafted the perfect facade. You would plaster on a smile in front of others and act like everything was completely okay even if behind closed doors, blood-soaked petals were beginning to pile up. If anybody seemed to suspect something was amiss, you would wave aside their concerns and assure them that you were just feeling a little under the weather.
It hurt that Hinata didn’t love you back, but what hurt most was that he didn’t love someone else. There was no other person that was the object of his affections. There was no one that you could blame and point to as the reason why Hinata didn’t love you in return. The fact that Hinata just didn’t see you in any other way than a friend hurt more than the flowers killing you.
Alstroemerias. Those were the flowers that were filling up your lungs. A hollow laugh filled the air when you looked up the meaning of them: friendship. How cruel of the world to make the flowers blooming in your lungs represent the only relationship you would ever have with Hinata.
But, you’d rather have Hinata as a friend than not at all.
So you take care to maintain the smile that’s beginning to strain and ignore the sharp pain in your chest when Hinata tells you that you’re the best friend he could ever have.
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sweetsubharry · 4 years ago
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Can you rec some omega harry fics pls?
Yes I can!! ^-^ So because this is a particular favourite of mine I counted 68 fics in this list so as a warning it’s a long list!! 
In case no one makes it to the bottom I’ll say it here too! Please stay safe and read the tags!!💕💕
'Cause Your Embrace Keeps Me Warmer by scribblewrite
Mates and soulmates are two completely different things. Mates are two people, an alpha and omega, who bond together while knotted together when the alpha bites a bond point on the omega’s body. It ties the two of them together forever or until one of them breaks the bond. It's normally the step after marriage. One could only hope to meet their soulmate.
You Could Be My Ever After by scribblewrite
His heat was gone, finally gone, and he'd been able to sleep for longer than thirty minute intervals. Not only that, but he was in his alpha's arms. He felt warm, and safe, and protected, and he honest to god didn't want to move. Harry and Louis spend the next couple days together after they've bonded with Louis taking care of Harry and the two of them getting to know each other better. Louis and Harry meet for the first time and, being soulmates, Louis's rut and Harry's heat are triggered.
Fill My Heart With Sweetness by loopdelouis
Harry's a late bloomer, but since his luck is shit, it's no surprise that he'd be the last to get a heat, but the first to get pregnant. In high school.
Let's Embrace The Point Of No Return by sweaterpawstyles
Louis was a whole new scale of beautiful, he was richer than Harry could've ever imagined, and he was the most powerful, dominant alpha that Harry had ever come in contact with. The only problem now is that Louis is also Harry's boss.
Louis believed Harry was an alpha, and had no idea about how he had lied about his status just to get an interview with Louis. He was in too deep now and he couldn't look back.
Or
Harry is an omega intern at an all alpha company. Louis is his boss. There's some complications.
Count The Wolves And We'll Sleep Tonight by scribblewrite
Louis's the Alpha of a powerful pack and Harry's his omega.
When Harry's taken by rogue alphas, Louis will do anything to bring him home safely.
turn the sky black into a sky blue by orphan_account
Harry forgets that noses exist. Louis is a badass motherfucker. They bang.
“I’ve been in love with you since I dropped my books in the hallway and you made fun of me when you picked up my John Green novel off the ground.”
Our Lips Are Made Of Candy by Waking_dreams
“Your knot, please, Louis,” he managed to whine. He needed it, that extra stretch and burn that made him Louis’.
“Fuck,” Louis moaned, and his thrusts became unsteady. “Can’t do it here, baby, Hazza, can’t—“
Or, Harry accidentally missed a few doses of his medicine that controls his heat and starts his heat in the middle of Biology. Oops
I Can't Hear You by kikikryslee
"I’m not supposed to be built this way!" Harry said. "I’m supposed to be shorter than you, and you’re supposed to be stronger than me and-“ “Harry!” Louis tried to interrupt. “And what if I’m not supposed to be an omega? What if my body screwed up somewhere or something? What if I’m not supposed to be your omega?” --- Or, the one where Harry is self-conscious about his body because it's not the 'typical omega body' and Louis shows him why he loves that.
You Know I'll Be by JustAnotherShadow503 
Louis Tomlinson, 27, is the personal photographer for well-known model Harry Styles, 21. Louis, an Alpha, has been in love with Harry for years, though the younger man has seemingly not presented yet.
Or, the one where Louis is in love with Harry, tries to be a martyr at his own expense, and is a hopeless romantic.
Or, the one where the author is shit at coming up with summaries and hopes you'll read the story anyways.
I'd Go Out of My Way To Make Sure That You're Okay by littlepinkbow 
This was for this prompt: "Harry's embarrassed about going into heat, but Louis decides it's up to him to teach Harry to be more open about what he wants."
As Small As Possible by Mickey_D
Harry is a rather shy omega who's quite convinced everyone (except his best friends) laughs at him behind his back and sometimes to his face.
Louis is a confident alpha who is taken with his best artist's friend.
Zero Means Nothing When I'm With You by StripedAndBowtied
Louis doesn't know what he's looking for until he finds it.
Harry just knows he may defy his gender norms, with his height and clumsiness, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want litters of pups running around while he does domestic things all day long.
In other words, boy meets boy and no one can stop pining.
Boys Fall Like Dominoes by orphan_account
Harry slips into an early heat while riding the tube. Naturally, that's when he meets Louis.
Looking In The Dark by orphan_account
Another self-indulgent a/b/o fic. This carries on from the same verse of Boys Fall Like Dominoes. As per always, you can find me on tumblr : domestic-harry
Enjoy! -Lis xx
Too Hot (Hot Damn) by louissass
“I’m what?”
“You’re in heat, baby,” He repeats, frowning when he catches the look on Harry’s face. “I thought you realised?”
Or, the one where Harry goes into heat in the middle of a concert but doesn't realise because of the heatwave.
i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck by crybaby
Harry has been in love with Louis Tomlinson for four years, five months, and thirteen days.
Harry had fallen in love with Louis Tomlinson like how he’d seen in movies, and how he’d read in all the books he’d stolen from Gemma, headfirst and shameless.
The only problem was, that in films and books, love was always either returned instantly, or else it took time for unrequited love to lose the first two letters, and since the first option was obviously not true, Harry decided he would wait for the second to become reality. And so Harry waited, three years, eight months, and four days, before his heart had been broken by a gentle rejection and a misplaced blowjob, before Louis and Gemma had packed up and gone to Manchester for university.
(Harry is a hopelessly romantic omega and Louis is his sister's best friend)
Drape Me In Your Warmth by fookinglousers
TMH era fic where Harry is an omega whose heat comes a little earlier than expected and really, who is Louis to deny him his knot?
pick my petals off (make my heart explode) by orphan_account
It’s when he’s frantically looking into the medicine cabinet for something to take that it hits him. He stares at the bottles of pills in horror, realizing what’s going on with him.
He’s completely forgotten about his suppressants. And he’s been spending so much time with Louis, too—of course the alpha’s constant proximity is going to trigger it.
He breaks into a sweat, now recognizing the hot feeling twisting inside him.
He’s going into heat.
(harry unexpectedly goes into heat in the middle of finals, and louis, being the good boyfriend that he is, helps harry through it.)
harry, you little shit by juliusschmidt
Harry’s an omega and he’s learning to like it. A lot.
All These Lights by MediaWhore
“People vote for alphas because they’re strong and they’re not only beautiful but also mesmerizing. They make you want to give them all of your attention, make you want to beg for some of theirs back. They’re shiny, oozing sex appeal and a commanding presence, and people always want more and more. Omegas are enticing too for sure, but it’s not the same. It makes people uncomfortable. It doesn’t make them want to root for you.”
the canon fic where Harry is an omega and dreams come with a price.
Pretend It's Okay by TheIfInLife
Harry and Louis are busy with life. Busy watching Zayn and Niall's twin boys, busy hanging out with friends, busy with life. And they forget Harry's suppressants.
taste on my tongue (just can't get enough of you) by messyjessy08
“Babe?” Louis asks, running a hand through Harry’s hair, soothingly. “What is it?”
Harry shakes his head, teeth digging into his bottom lip, sharply. “My—it’s—”
Louis’ eyebrows furrow in confusion, “What, Harry?”
He pulls a hand up to his chest, pressing hard against one of his pecs, “My fucking—her crying’s making them—Lou.”
Louis gasps, understanding. He reaches a hand up, pushing Harry’s aside, and thumbs gently across Harry’s nipple, somehow already dark and swollen, without having touched them once. “Harry,” He says in a low voice, chest rumbling at the sharp gasp Harry makes.
“Lou, they’re fucking—’m leaking.”
(Harry and Louis just had a baby and it's been a while since they've had sex.)
you took your toll on me (you got a hold on me) by messyjessy08
“Well give us a twirl. Let’s look at you from every angle.”
Harry cocks an eyebrow, gaze heavy. “Alright.” Pulling back the tail of his shirt, he spins slowly, pausing when his back’s facing Louis.
“Harry.” Louis attempts to gather his wits, speechless. “Baby.”
“Thought you might like that part as well,” Harry says, a smirk in his voice.
Thick strips of lace drape delicately over his skin, just under the bottom of his spine, connecting with thin elastic straps that move across his arse, leaving little sections of bare skin showing. The straps connect to form a diamond pattern, creating an opening right over where his hole would be. The skin surrounding it is already shiny with slick. Louis’ breath gets trapped in his lungs.
(Harry and Louis have the weekend to themselves, they make the most of it.)
This Thing Upon Me (howls like a beast) by SadaVeniren
Harry and Louis weren’t meant to be together. They’d met when they were put together through their university’s AO MatchUp, a program that set up alphas and omegas based on the schedules of their ruts and heats so they had someone to help them through it. It was pure luck that they were put together.
Lunch Break by purpleeyestelllies
Harry decides to bring his alpha lunch at work and surprise him with a visit from him and their baby daughter. Louis gets more than one surprise.
drunk on rose water by brainwaves
It’s the first time in a few years that Harry has a strong desire to risk everything for something he loves.
The last time, it was being a fashion model. This time, it’s Louis.
with his educated eyes (and his head between my thighs) by orphan_account 
"We're...we're not the same," Harry says softly, looking at his hands. "I don't care," Louis replies back, fire and fury in his eyes.
or where Harry is just a little boy in a world full of arseholes, Louis is in way over his head, and destiny is a bunch of shit.
Everything I Do (I Do It For You) by LSFOREVER
"It's gonna be perfect," Harry whispers, taking Louis' face in both of his hands, nosing close but not yet kissing him. "Always is. You always make everything perfect."
"Good. Whenever your heat finally kicks in, I'll make sure to treat you perfectly too... I'm gonna bond you so hard."
or, Harry's heat is coming up and they've planned to finally bond, so Louis decides to plan a very eventful and loving week leading to said bonding.
resolutions and lovers in the kitchen by orphan_account
Their dinner’s probably going cold, but this feels monumental. So instead of sitting them down on the table and talking about it face to face over chicken and pasta, Harry just puts his hands over Louis’ where they’re settled on his lower stomach, not letting the moment slip past them. He takes a deep breath, carefully arranging his thoughts. “She looks really lovely, Louis. Positively glowing. Her bump’s so big, and
” he trails off, breath hitching slightly when Louis lifts his hand higher, settling it right over Harry’s stomach, and that’s—
“And what, baby?” Louis asks, voice now dropped to a whisper, and Harry has to take a moment to collect his thoughts.
“She, um. She knows about you, of course, and she asked me when we’re—when we’re having a baby of our own.”
(harry teaches little kids and louis writes sports articles. they're trying for a baby.)
Make It Work by fanshae
Prompt: Arranged marriage AU. Harry is an omega who has reached the age where he must be married due to his family's income status. Only the aristocratic omegas are exempt. His parents try to hide him but eventually the government gets word and in punishment, gives the omega to a spoiled aristocrat son of a lord, Louis. Louis is more than thrilled to have his own omega and once Harry goes into heat, he explores the boy with fascination and unintentionally impregnates him. This leads to a boy used to living carefree and drinking the day away with other nobles to having to face fatherhood.
This is only vaguely similar to the prompt so I'm sorry to OP in advance v.v
Stars Will Align For Us by 2tiedships2
"The serial monogamist is single," Niall said by way of introduction when he sat down across from Harry in the canteen.
Harry sipped his chocolate milk. "What are you going on about?"
"Your alpha dream boat," Niall said. "That tiny little footie player? I heard from Hannah that he's broken it off with his boyfriend so he’s single and ready to flamingle. Now's the time to make your move."
Harry sipped his chocolate milk harder to keep himself from replying.
Or the one where Harry is an omega at a loss of how to get past his pining and gain the attention of Louis...especially considering the alpha is always in a relationship.
Watch the Sun Coming Up by SadaVeniren
As Louis approaches his thirtieth birthday his pack is desperate for him to find a mate.
Harry has always expected one day he may settle down with a nice alpha and they would continue to live in his small hometown.
Together they somehow will make this work.
Dancing Shadows by SadaVeniren 
The house was quiet by the time Louis walked up to it. He’d been away for a week and while it wasn’t the longest he’d ever been away from the pack, it was the longest he’d been away from Harry and the kids.
i'll be hurt from the heat (running from the heat) by itiswhatitisbutterfly
It's engrained into him, nothing else matters, protecting Harry at all costs is what pumps his heart and floods his veins. It’s just, he didn't count on the one thing Harry would need protecting from would be himself.
(Harry and Louis are in love, and they are probably soul mates. They just can’t be bond mates because despite the undeniable pull, it's them against the world.)
A Howl in the Night by emeraldharry
They've been trained to become Alpha protectors of their city, tasked to battle gruesome beasts and put their lives at risk on a daily basis.
Louis is a skilled warrior and dedicates his life for the protection of others, along with his four adopted brothers and comrades; Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Harry.
Troubles emerge when Harry proves to be a little less like the older Alphas, finding it hard to become who he's supposed to be and failing to reach other people's expectations towards him as a soldier.
Somewhere along the way, Louis and Harry realize that there's more than brotherly love between them, and that the world they live in requires a whole lot of suffering and sacrifices.
The biggest challenge yet arrives when the choice finally comes down between two things: their love for each other, or their responsibilities to the world.
[alpha/beta/omega dynamics with a twist]
© 2019
Pretty Please (With Sugar On Top) by angelichl
Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.
Peppermint and Lavender (and Coffee) by 2tiedships2
“He was there again,” Louis announced by way of greeting. “Lottie was right and she can never know.”
"What the fuck are you talking about?” Niall asked as he snapped his laptop closed.
“The omega, Niall. He was there today. Just sitting in the corner looking pretty. Or at least his back is. He hasn’t turned around when I’m available to see. I know he’s beautiful though.”
"Okay?” Niall questioned. “What does that have to do with Lottie?”
Louis let out a huff. "She told me I shouldn’t work at a coffee shop. She was right.”
Or the one where Louis might have met the love of his life in a coffee shop. But that’s not how it’s supposed to happen.
Shadows Come With The Pain That You're Running From (Love Was Something You've Never Heard Enough) by hlftanna
“Thanks, Ni, I guess I needed to hear that,” Harry sighed and wrapped his own arms around Niall and squeezed him tightly not caring if Liam would be mad. He missed Niall so much.
“Does it really come as a surprise to you that I’m right? Shaking my head, Haz. You should know me better,” the brunette teased. Harry giggled again.
“You know Hazza, you really are so different to all the other alphas out there. You’re soft, caring, cuddly and sweet and those damn dimples. So freaking pretty, it’s almost annoying. I would hate you if you weren’t my best friend. You’d really be a brilliant omega. Nature really did a number here,” Niall mumbled. It was his turn to smash his nose into Harry’s neck and Harry was extremely thankful for that because he wasn’t sure he had his facial expression in check at all.
Or a Band AU in which Harry isn't allowed to be who he really is and the North American Tour might bring some unexpected truths into the web of lies and also a bit of heat that has very little to do with the summer in the US.
Home (It's You) by sunniskies
When Louis left his high-powered life in the city to settle down in the suburbs, he had hoped to one day fall in love and start a family. He certainly didn’t expect to meet the omega of his dreams within five minutes of moving in.
He also didn’t expect the love of his life to hate him so much.
Or, Louis and Harry are neighbors who can't seem to get along...until they fall in love.
sometimes green and sometimes blue by itsmiz
Harry's an omega, and Louis is an Alpha. They're best friends growing up together on the outskirts of Washington, D.C., but they've always been a bit more than friends.
little bitty rattle (and all our dreams are comin' true) by itsmiz
Louis and Harry are young mates in love. This is the story of them expanding their family, and all the love, hormones, and events that come with that.
cradles and crayons by itsmiz
Harry and Louis continue to expand their family.
Just Jump by jaerie
Finally, after years of suffering alone, the insurance plan at Harry's new job covered omega heat services. As a grown omega adult, it finally felt like the right time to try it out. And, since taking an entire week of heat leave would really put him behind at work, using a service to shorten it seemed like a responsible decision. At least that’s how he rationalized it. He was nervous about his decision but it was too late. The doorbell rang.
“Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”
Want It Flowing Through My Streams by screwstyles
Wimbledon ABO AU: Harry has just qualified for his first Grand Slam, and he’s prepared to make the most of it – that is, until his heat unexpectedly hits him only a few days before his first match. And it’s just his luck that Louis Tomlinson, the resident bad boy of British tennis, is the only person around to help him.
hard to confess by hereforlou
One, they only did it without a condom once (and a half) and not during his heat. Never during his heat. Two, he never once forgot to take his birth control (he’s almost sure). Three, his plan is to be married for a year before he even starts trying for a baby, and not only is he very, very single, him and Louis aren’t even sleeping together anymore. Which brings him to reason number four why this can’t be happening: Louis. Louis doesn’t want a baby with Harry.
(Or, the one where Harry knows he messed up and Louis knows nothing.)
Just a touch of your love by thegirlontheblackhoodie
“What if something happened to you? What would I say to Niall?”
“Nothing, he would have to wait to see my corpse on the news like everyone else.” Deadpanned Harry. Louis’ gasp was all the answer he got. Ok, so that might have been a bit too much. With a calmer voice, he said, “It’s really fine. I’ve walked to the tube countless times, I can handle myself. Just go home and tell Niall to stop mothering me.”
Louis was finally walking by his side and gave him a sideways glance before talking. “He doesn’t know, does he? Of your, uh, condition.” Harry tensed and his breath became erratic, but he didn’t say a word. Louis continued. “His nose probably hasn’t picked it up, and you’re lucky Liam’s also a beta, but it took me a minute to confirm it. Your scent is gettin’ so
” He seemed to struggle to find a word. He didn’t finish the sentence, but the emotion in his voice made Harry’s tummy churn.
--
Or, Harry is a touch starved omega trying to get through it on his own. Louis happens to be the only alpha around to realize it and offers to help.
Face Your Fears by SadaVeniren
Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.
I Just Want You to Stay by SadaVeniren
“Remember the vet job up in Edinburgh I interviewed for right before your rut?” Louis nodded. “She just called me back. I got the job. I start next year.” Harry let out a shriek as he said the word year and he clapped his hands in delight. “Isn’t that great! Full time vet job! New animals to meet! A new environment!” He settled his eyes back on Louis, who was still standing there in front of him with wide eyes. “Isn’t it great, Lou?”
That seemed to jolt Louis out of his thoughts and he nodded immediately, opening his arms up for Harry to dive into. “Holy shit, yes. Congratulations. Come here,” he wrapped his arms around Harry and cuddled him close, pressing his nose into Harry’s neck. “Holy shit,” he whispered.
aka Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change.
kiss with a fist (is better than none) by orphan_account
Harry and Louis don't get on at all.
BUT they do, in fact, do an awful lot of getting off~
Harry startled visibly, shaking off his deer in the headlights look and huffing quietly. Louis took a final, lingering glance along his scant frame, except the puppy chub at his hips, and then kept washing his hands with a faint sneer. He expected words, biting and sarcastic, as usual. Instead, he was met with silence. Confused, Louis turned back to him as he dried his hands, ready with a scathing remark. It died on his tongue. Harry's eyes were locked, very deliberately, on his crotch. His crotch, which was still unzipped, and therefore dick on display. Oh fuck.
“My eyes are up here, Styles,” Louis growled, cheeks flushing despite himself as he reached to do up his fly.
“Leave it.” It rasped from Harry's throat, thick and shaky. Louis froze, fingers cupping himself.
“Excuse me?”
Sigh Softly by aalexandravictoriaa
It was an unconventional nest, to say the least. Quite inconvenient too, not that Louis would ever dare admit that. The fact that his omega was nesting could only mean that he was pregnant and Louis’ chest rumbled at the mere thought. Harry stirred from his perch, blinking his eyes open at the sound of his growling alpha. Louis shushed him immediately and tucked him back into the safety of his nest. Louis just so happened to make up the majority of said nest.
Do Not Falter (There's a Star Ahead) by LadyLondonderry
It's Christmas Eve, and every single one of Louis' family members are crowded inside his little flat. Really, what more could he ask for on his birthday?
The present he never knew he wanted - in the form of an omega from his past - might just make this his most memorable Christmas.
a body wishes to be held & held by turnyourankle
Harry wants to return the favour after Louis helps him out with his heat.”
the beast you made of me by orphan_account
The bell tinkled, and Harry froze as an overpowering scent, musky and thick, crisp and slightly sweet, yet utterly masculine, delightfully tickled his senses. Harry's eyes slowly slid up to see the source of this wonderful scent, and his breath was taken away at the sex god before him, all muscled and compact and utterly screaming of Alpha. Icy blue eyes stared him down, set off by sharp cheekbones, a stubbled jaw that looked yummy enough to nibble on, and caramel hair, which was lazily gelled, a few pieces falling over his forehead. His skin was tan, his hands strong and steady, his biceps still clearly visible even through his jacket. Every fiber of Harry's being stood at full alert.
The one where Harry's a vanilla-sweet Omega and Louis walks into his bakery one day.
How Much My Heart Depends by lululawrence
Louis is an alpha working as a fraud analyst who keeps having Bad Days. Harry is an omega working in Quality Support who shares a cubicle wall with Louis and only wants to help. Maybe this is the perfect chance for them to finally meet face to face.
A Tentative Peace by colourexplosion
“I dunno.” Harry’s not whining, he’s not. He pulls himself free, finally, turns away and busies himself again with the dishes. “I didn’t want it to be weird.”
“It’s not weird,” Louis says, appearing in Harry’s periphery when he leans against the sink. “Biology, innit? You know I’m always here for you.”
It stings. Louis won’t sit and have a conversation with Harry, but sure, he’ll fuck him through a heat like it’s nothing. “It’s a little more than biology,” he mumbles, but Louis either doesn’t hear him (not likely) or flat out ignores him (very likely).
(Or, A/B/O featuring omega!harry and alpha!louis.)
Seeing Blind by zedi
Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”
OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.
wanna taste your heart, don't interfere by orphan_account
Harry still remembers how unsure he felt when he first told Louis, how self-conscious he was. Louis had been nothing but understanding and kind, though, reassuring him that nothing’s going to change between them, that they’re still best friends regardless of sex. Harry had been mostly relieved at that, because he really doesn’t want to lose Louis as a friend over this, but another part of him had been a bit sad because
 well, because nothing changed between them. Or rather, there is change, but it’s completely one-sided as far as Harry can tell.
This change being him not getting enough of the way Louis smells. He just can’t help it, is the thing, unable to stop himself from trying to subtly press his nose against the fabric of Louis’ shirt by his shoulders. He still smells like faint cologne and sweat, which is enough to make Harry start feeling slightly dizzy.
(harry presents as an omega, louis is his alpha best friend, and there are hidden feelings that just get harder to control.)
A Distant Hazy Light by green_feelings
Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.
Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.
London Calls Me a Stranger by Thatscoolbutwhataboutlarry
"Hello, my beautiful, conceited coquette."
"Hi, daddy."
Or the one where Harry is a tease, and Louis is his new neighbour.
Between the Shadow and the Soul by orphan_account
“It’s just easier to stay in Donny and train, Haz,” Louis says quietly. “Two transatlantic flights in less than a week right before a big match is a terrible idea. We should have known that before, but...”
Harry nods. It’s reasonable. It’s totally, completely reasonable and Harry can support that. Another five or six days of not being able to hold Louis’ hand and kiss him sweetly is killing Harry, but he can handle it. “Okay, so that’s, what, the 20th that you’ll be coming over here?”
Louis hesitates, and Harry has to bite back a frustrated growl. “I’ve got writing sessions and time in the studio scheduled as of yesterday, plus I’m supposed to get papped clubbing in London again and just
 it’s shit but there’s no time to make the trip until early May, at the least.”
Or, Harry and Louis spend a month apart.
Wonderland by jacaranda_bloom
Louis has always loved lazy mornings in bed with his mate, but now that his Omega is carrying their pup, they’ve reached a whole new level of wonderment.
OR the one where Louis loves to worship his Omega’s body and Harry loves to let him.
All I Needed by FallingLikeThis
Harry is the omega captain of the Slytherin quidditch team with a team that won't listen to him. Louis is the alpha captain of the Gryffindor team who doesn't know how to offer help without seeming like a knothead, pushing his opinions on Harry. When he comes up with a rather questionable plan to try and get Harry to ask him for help, they may just both get what they need.
Come In and Change My Life by lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes)
He’d had the same neighbours since he’d moved into the building, a lovely, wealthy couple in their late sixties who had always invited him around for tea on Sundays. Martha had dropped off homemade biscuits the day he’d moved in, so Harry figured he may as well repeat the sentiment. He could hear someone getting closer to the door just as a flush ran through his body; oh fuck. His heat was close, too close to be knocking on a potentially unknown alpha’s door, but it was too late. The door swung open, and Harry’s mouth dropped. He’d never been overly interested in football, couldn’t find the fascination in watching men run around after a ball for hours aside from their uniforms, but he knew who this was. Louis Tomlinson, alpha, captain of Manchester United, star in a number of Harry’s heat addled fantasies, was his new next-door neighbour.
Or, Harry and Louis become friends when Harry looks after Louis' cat during away games, until one night at a party changes everything between them. It's just a shame Louis' going to be away for the FIFA World Cup for three months.
Put It Into Words by orphan_account
“It’s a good storm though, our families,” Louis says, flopping down on to the bed and cuddling close to Harry. He tucks his arm around Harry’s waist, kissing his temple. “The Cheshire house is perfect to raise the baby; your mum’s close, and my mum can stay in the guest bedroom when she visits.”
“And until then we have the long weekend to ourselves.”
Or, Harry and Louis go on a babymoon.
No Love Like Your Love by Rearviewdreamer 
When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.
We Are Inevitable by mmargarita
“What’s the second flaw?”
“The second inevitable flaw in your plan is:” Louis stood straight and walked towards Harry, grabbing his chin. Harry’s breath hitched. “Us.” Louis smiled. “We’re inevitable, baby. We’re soulmates, and we both know it. You just need to come back to me.” . . . 30/07/2020: This work has been edited and corrected, and now has 7k words more.
Take Me As I Am by lovelarry10
“Suppressant? But
 why would I need a suppressant? Alphas don’t take suppressants.”
“You’re right, they don’t.”
****
Secrets. Lies. Deception. Betrayal. Self-discovery.
Alpha. Omega. How far will they go to hide the truth?
to wrap me in paper by juliusschmidt
Louis hasn't been keeping track of his ruts, but, it turns out, Harry has.
If you’ve made it to the end then congrats! and please stay safe and read the tags!!💕💕
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