#pls never hesitate to just yell at me abt whatever

[strywoven-moved]

@endfought requested : ✏️

𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒅.

tr: Alli, Admittedly , we've not known each other long , but I echo your sentiment by saying I am glad to get to know you regardless. Truthfully , I hope we get the chance to become closer ! So , don't be a stranger ! I always love our chats , gossiping about muses , talking about whatever ... You're very easy to talk to. I will also die on the hill of Jen / Kaen's dynamic ; sorry not sorry , I love them to bits and you can pry them out of my dead , gay hands. Just know , I would love to throw more of our muses together and if you want more plots or threads ... Literally come talk to me about them , dork ! >:)

[baahsu]

omg hi baah itsa me J.J :] anyways WHY is writing like an actual fanfic so HARD?? whenever i do hcs/ficlets shit comes so easy but the second i gotta formulate my word vomit into actual musings?? brain go THUNK. also the fact that i elected to write this from ichijs pov (the. the hardest sib for me to write for.) is NOT helping 😭😭 first 1k is just him being melodramatic and very sad as fuck

anyways i didnt just come into your box to yell-- heres some food. and also my hesitant attempt to see what reiju would be like as anything but a dom bc ive been curious abt it:

so whenever reiju loosens her dominatrix reigns a bit niji brings out a bit of tha whore in her and she loves it :) (but also a situation like this happens SPECIFICALLY and ONLY post wci/germa cover story bc i feel like reiju would soften up on niji and yonji a bit after they showed genuine concern for her when she was in danger during wci and also bc they were literally kidnapped and presumably tortured by the Charlottes in 'emotionless excursion') this is a hill i choose to die on

like theyd just be chillin in bed together doing nothin in particular, vibing in each others presence, and suddenly niji begins running his hand up and down reijus thigh and at first shes like "aw affection attempt how cute :]" but then his hand starts moving more and more inwards and she goes *"ah."*

they dont even have to say anything bc its just an all around safe, chill environment all while nijis hand keeps moving up until it's slipped under reijus dress and underwear (if she was even wearing any underwear in the first place 👁👁)

during all this they fr just stay where they are and continue what theyve been doing this whole time, the only difference being niji now fingering reiju and she just relaxing back into a pillow and sighing happily about it

ofc after she came (niji definitely didnt send out little electric sparks on her clit periodically to make sure she squirted and was overstimulated nooo i dont know what your talking about 🙂🙂) she turned to him and said smthn like

"youre getting tied up for that later."

and niji (with his fingers in his mouth bc. yk 👁) gives a muffled sarcastic reply of "fine, whatever. why dont you invite ichiji and yonji to watch while you're at it."

and reiju just chuckles bc like. thats not really a bad idea :]]

WOWOWO sorry for all the reiju spam recently bc i know you prioritize 1234ji together over her but shes been rotting my brain sm lately its crazy. i love my wif e :,]

J.J HELLO

Don't get me started at how words just stop wording when you try to write fics because that's definitely I thing and it's frustrating. A fic from ichiji's pov tho?? With possibly going through it and feeling feelings??? Yes pls??????

Now, while you're write about me kinda preferring 1234ji together I have to say this dynamic between niji and reiju is so tasty 🤌 I love reiju having a soft spot for him (and yonji too (and also ichiji bc why not lol)) and just letting him touch her as he pleases. It's also endearing how he started slow and soft, like, he was really trying to be a good boy and not rush things

THE BEST PART THO, NIJI USING HIS POWERS??? TO MAKE HER CUM LIKE SHE DESERVES?? WE LOVE A MAN THAT KNOWS HOW TO DO THEIR JOB. Damn I never thought of that but that's a perfect use of his abilities, I can imagine reiju trained him to do just the right amount so he wouldn't overstimulate her, but he felt daring this time and took it up a notch. And you can't convince me he wasn't considering he'd be punished for it later, he knows reiju and knows that her letting loose and relequishing control like this would come with a price later)

And of course he told her to invite ichiji and yonji on purpose too, there's no way he didn't!! He's a whore after all 😌

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

[aurltas]

@milkcrates tagged me to share 10 things abt myself (tysm!!! <33) and yall know i cannot resist an opportunity to yell-rant extensively about myself on tumblr and nowhere else so here we gooooo

1. i am going to do what i Always do at icebreakers/whatever and throw it out here too that i work, sort-of-indirectly-kinda, for youtube ! im a writer/reviewer on the closed captioning team for (sigh) twoset violin, aka the world’s worst enunciators (shoutout to the ppl in the comments who mention subtitles-san............yall give us life)

2. the second thing i Always bring up at icebreakers/etc is that i am a certified scuba diver!! i adore the ocean and respect it deeply with all the fear in my heart,, it’s so lovely, i’ll never forget the feeling of being like 50m down and looking up and it’s just: w a t e r

3. i really enjoy finding random lil communities of hobbyists and uhhhh that basically bleeds over into whatever i become mildly obsessed with for the next couple months and inevitably becomes a future life goal; currently it is fishkeeping/aquascaping and rare succulents ESPECIALLY haworthias i love haworthias so much guys

4. whenever i have a choice my academic projects are like 80% about fandoms and 20% about medical humanities and thats basically a summary of Me As An Academic And Human Being (which speaking of,, i just wrapped up a conference presentation where i got to present my research on queer cn diaspora in danmei fandom and i was so nervous but it was SO fun even tho it was over zoom)

5. oh my god not to get all academic again but i am Obsessed w the medical humanities you guys it’s so cool (basically it’s the intersection of medicine + the arts, whether that means incorporating art as an augmentative treatment or incorporating medical experiences into art!! a lot of ppl are somewhat familiar w music therapy or art therapy and those fall under this category) LIKE,, i honestly feel so seen at this intersection?? and both fields would truly benefit from (and need!!) the influence of the other

6. and now for a complete 180: i go through clothes super slowly and rarely buy new clothes so half my wardrobe hasnt changed in Years . meaning: a bunch of it is still stuff my mom picked out for me o)-( this is an unfortunate combo of the fact that i used to hate clothes shopping + never used to go shopping w friends Ever + am a creature of habit

7. ok so my parents made me learn piano from a young age and i, to their horror, actually loved it and seriously considered persuing music ed when i graduated hs LMFAO like if i lived in an ideal world my majors would be music ed + museum studies / museumology + medical humanities + fandom/media studies

8. as a result of being a longtime classically trained pianist i subscribe p closely to the Stereotypical Classical Musician Genres (kpop, anime music / jrock, modern classical) with a dash of whatever my friends throw my way (alt, indie, folk, i dont even technically know most of the terms lmfao) so it really tracks that my fav song rn is from a modern-traditional cn music group

9. i have a whole complex abt being multifaceted and Extremely Interesting As A Person so this is great for me HAHAHAHA but yes i am fundamentally v concerned with being a ~unique individual~ (my enneagram rly called me out on that one......im a type 4 iirc) and i feel like that shows a lot in how i use and present myself on this site lmaooo

10. my fav font rn is ovo !!! i used it to make a zine recently for class and it was such a good vibe i adore it (im currently taking a class on zines / independent publishing w my all time fav prof who also literally happens to be a municipal-level poet laureate and a rock enthusiast its BONKERS i would d*e for her)

if u read all that kudos to u!! i hope it was interesting LOLL

tagging (as per usual, no pressure + feel free to do this even if u weren’t tagged!!! i love reading these so PLS dont hesitate to do this n say i tagged u) - @star-bribery, @cityof-starlight , @saintbaselshouse , @oboenotclarinet , @theravenlyn , @reiiharu , @notfloofaccount , @mss3ng, @lenawin4 , and YOU !! if u want. :3c