#pls just kill me on the spot

[spicyraeman]

yee-fuckin-haw

[yuwuta]

honestly all of them are really bad at enduring the silent treatment/you wanting to be alone after an argument but satoru and megumi are the absolute worst like satoru cannot do it he cannot have you not talking to him he will do anything he will beg he will cry he will grovel he will buy food and presents and a house and a car and sing to you outside of your window and beg and beg and beg, and megumi cannot stand the idea of you going to bed angry at him

[starry-bi-sky]

pouring one out for luo binghe in my disciple SQQ fic, poor guy has taken a backseat here. we're nearly 30k words deep and he hasn't even shown his face once. it'll be much longer before he even actually talks to Shen Qingqiu.

(i say im pouring one out but in reality im sitting in my director's chair chewing on a cigar and wearing a beret as he tearily and unsuccessfully pleads with me for more scenes with Shen Qingqiu)

[ropes3amthoughts]

DunMeshi fanfic authors/fan artists, have Senshi and Kabru cook together and my life is yours

[cenotune]

Round 3 of ordering Posca markers bc some invisible fuckstick keeps eating them

(no it's not him)

[purgaytorysupremacy]

i just hit 2,000 total kudos on my ao3 account and considering I posted my first fic in July 2022 and am the furthest thing from prolific/consistent, i'm feeling very grateful for the people who still read my nonsense

<3

[zappedbyzabka]

I understand all the men that can’t keep their hands and arms away from Johnny’s throat

[pisces-gf]

driving got me feeling a Certain Way .

[kat-twinkle]

it's worse when i'm the only one laughing AT MY OWN FUCKING JOKE

so embarrassing 😞ྀི

[whoblewboobear]

We can’t move fast enough this parking situation at the apartment is not it. Our neighbor moved out so I’ve been parking there and now the crusty landlord is coming by. Homie hard knocked on my car window at night to tell me to move- like yeahhh

I shouldn’t be parked there but I don’t respect landlords or weird dudes that fucking pound on my car window. I don’t know you and it’s dark don’t touch my car 👀 I’ll bite you

[mosspapi]

(tw brief discussion of sh, OCD triggers, bugs)

Dear my phone: highlighting my pictures of a cut and telling me to "look up the bugs in this photo" is not fucking helping my OCD

[cutieln4]

PR Problem | LN4 smau

lando norris x reader

summary: in which lando's girlfriend is gorgeous, and he is not afraid to be horny on main

fc: madison beer

yourusername

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yourusername life recently :)

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yourfriend pretty girl

username1 you’re so gorjus

landonorris oh my god

landonorris i need you so bad

landonorris i’m coming home rn i can’t take it😫

username2 actually so down bad

maxfewtrell mate it’s been 2 days

landonorris please just one chance

landonorris on my knees for you🧎‍♂️

oscarpiastri Zak just scheduled a PR training session for you

username3 LANDO’S COMMENTS OMG💀

username4 he’s so unhinged i love him

username5 how did lando pull her???

username6 he’s sick of the lando norizz allegations😭

username7 wish my boyfriend was as down bad as lando is

randomfootballer wow😍

landonorris yeah you can fuck off

y/nupdates

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y/nupdates Y/n in her latest photo shoot

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username1 how is she so gorgeous

username2 lando is so lucky

landonorris i know😍

landonorris oh wow

landonorris is she single?

username3 one thing is certain in life: if there’s a post about y/n, lando is gonna be in the comments

landonorris need her more than i need oxygen

landonorris i’ll be a passenger princess for you😫

danielricciardo SIMP🫵

landonorris run me over with that car pls

username4 beautiful

username5 i’d kill to have her looks

username6 once again lando is thirsting

f1wags

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f1wags Y/n spotted in Miami ahead of the race

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landonorris AWOOOGA🤤🤤

landonorris WOOF WOOF

landonorris GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

oscarpiastri Zak is disappointed again

landonorris you could beat me up and i’d thank you

username1 looked at myself and sighed

username2 just spent 20 minutes laughing at lando’s comments

username3 life is so unfair

username4 nah fr cause she’s pretty, nice, funny, has a good body, AND is dating an f1 driver

username5 PLEASE BE IN THE PADDOCK THIS WEEKEND🙏🙏

username6 fav wag

username7 she’s so out of lando’s league

username8 if lando was able to pull her, maybe the rest of us have a chance

yourusername

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yourusername appreciation post for my handsome winner💞

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landonorris i love you

landonorris i’m all yours

username1 i’m crying this is so sweet

username2 i love boyfriend lando

username3 THE NOSE SCRUNCH🥹

username4 i love them

landonorris i did it for you baby🫶🫶

danielricciardo simp

landonorris yes, and?

username5 HE DID IT YESSSSSSS

username6 this is why you’re the best wag

username7 the difference in the way they compliment each other is crazy

y/nupdates

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y/nupdates y/n in her new music video

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username1 she’s glowing wow

username2 can lando fight??

username3 face card never declines

landonorris HOLYYY MOLYYYY

landonorris that’s MY girlfriend everyone

landonorris omfg she’s so sexy🤤

landonorris i want her to wrap her legs around my head😫

username4 sorry???

oscarpiastri right, that’s enough instagram for today

username5 the horniness continues

username6 i need her to tell us her highlighter

username7 she’s so perfect it’s unfair

username8 hair is always perfect

[ambivalent-engines]

first day in a while of going to (almost) all of my classes and i regret it all. i held a plant underwater for two and a half hours, stabbed myself with a syringe (accident), spilled ethanol all over my hands (less of an accident and more just me being stupid), carried a seven foot bug net for twenty minutes while sweating thru every piece of clothing I own, and now my dining hall is out of hot sauce. wtf

[luveline]

pls spencer and bombshell reader where she like sacrifices herself for him or does something outrageous for him. i love your weiting!! 💝

You don’t have any other choice, Spencer’s on the other roof being held in a chokehold by the UnSub —rational thinking goes out the window. He sees your face and, though he’s starting to look a little blue, gestures wildly for you to not do what you’re thinking. 

You jump. 

You take the landing hard —you ran hard, jumped harder, cringing as the grit of the rooftop tears through your shoulder. You roll into it. In one moment you’re standing, and then you’re knocking the assailant off of your boyfriend just before he falls unconscious. 

You forget everything you’re supposed to remember, flipping the UnSub without care onto his front, yanking his arms back, and cuffing him tightly. He’s a serial child murderer, so it’s kinder than he deserves. 

“Stay down,” you warn, cuffs so tight you can see the perp’s hand changing colour. You’ll have to fix that soon, but you have more important matters at hand. “Spencer?” 

His answer is hoarse, “Yeah.”

You leave the UnSub where he’s laid down and rush to Spencer. You drop to your knees beside him, alarmed that he’s still curled up and gasping. “Hey, hey, what can I do?” 

He grabs your arm and sucks in another breath. 

“Spencer?” 

“Why did you do that?” he asks. 

“What?” 

“What did you do to your arm? Does it hurt?” 

Spencer can barely breathe and he’s asking you if you’re okay. You can see the spots in his eyes. Fuck, he scared you. 

“I’m fine,” you say softly, holding him by the shoulders. “Take a deep breath, can you do that for me?” 

Your shoulder stings like you’d landed on glass and there’s an ache in your bones from the impact, but the source of your racing pulse is the look on his face, as though he might still pass out. You cringe at the sound of approaching footsteps, but it’s Morgan and Hotch making their way across the gravel top to help you. You turn back to Spencer in relief. 

He takes another huge breath. “Good job,” you say quietly, but saccharinely, rubbing his poor chest. “Do you want to sit up?” 

“I can’t.” 

“Okay. Alright. Just take a breath.” 

“Maybe you should take your own advice,” he croaks, putting his hand over your heart. 

“I’m fine.” 

“Just breathe.” He says your name like a secret. “Just breathe.” 

Of course. He’s lying on the ground panting for his life and he’s telling you to calm down. 

Morgan has the UnSub up and moving. Hotch kneels beside you both, face lined with poorly concealed stress. “You okay?” he asks. “Spencer?” 

“She jumped across the roof.” 

“Spencer.” You’re half wounded, half humoured. 

Hotch raises his eyebrows at you both. “Well, that’s ridiculous. Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine. Spencer almost got choked out.” 

Hotch looks as though he might give in and rub his face, but he pats your arm instead. “Okay. Reid, can you stand up?” 

“Tell her she can’t– can’t jump across rooftops,” Spencer says, suddenly full of indignation as he pushes up onto his elbows. He looks like he’s been hung upside down and shook. 

“Well, clearly I can.” 

“L/N shouldn’t be jumping across rooftops for any reason, but you’re both…” Hotch smiles wryly. “I almost said unharmed.” 

Spencer flops down onto his back. When he speaks, he sounds in a strange place, close to tears and laughing alike, “You have to look at her arm.” 

“I think you both need to see a medic, but first, why don’t we all calm down. Let’s regain our senses, and prevent any further unnecessary pain.” 

Spencer gives your leg an uncharacteristic whack. He’s so messed up from the chokehold that it’s more like a stroke, but you feel the tap for what it is. He’s saying Don’t do that to me again. 

“He really was gonna kill you,” you say, sorry. 

“I had it.” 

“Respectfully, baby, you did not.” 

[ultraviolencced]

i’m so brave for surviving the red rocks hail storm after being pelted by these for at least 10 minutes maybe more idk

[hurlingdown]

TRICKLE — TOP MALE READER X TRAFALGAR LAW

synopsis. you wake up to your horny, needy, pregnant mate in bed. he doesn't care if you're barely awake — he wants this cock and he will have it forcibly if he has to. wc. 1.7k

tags. cockslut omega! law, alpha! reader. pregnant sex, lactation kink, squirting, breeding kink, stomach bulge, mating, knotting, crying, bit of somnophilia, law has a pussy, vaginal sex, wet and messy asf!

“Hnngh, mn, y/n-ya…” 

You can barely register the dense weight settling low on your hips as you slowly blink yourself awake—choking on a moan as the sweet scent of riled-up omega immediately permeates your senses. 

Law doesn’t seem to notice that you’re awake. He’s biting his lip, struggling to stifle his noises, one hand rubbing his clit as he rides you slow and meaningful, the other hand pressed over the bulge on his belly. It’s not nearly enough to sate him, and he whines, sobbing out a profanity when a particular grind forces the tip of your cock against his sweet spot. 

“F-fuck, y/n-ya…! Hnn, please, wake up already…” 

You take a few moments to appreciate the beauty that is your mate—tummy swollen and plump with his fourth month, tears rolling down his flushed cheeks in frustrated pleasure, holding back the noises that he so desperately wants to make. What did you even do in your past life to deserve him? 

He lets out a yelp as you grip his waist, cunt clenching in surprise as he gushes all over your cock. “H-hi,” he whispers, biting back a smile. 

“Hi,” you whisper back. You’re barely awake, but it’s warm, and so fucking tight, the sting of heat and want in the air already making you heady with desire. You buck your hips and he struggles to grab onto your shoulders, shuddering. 

“C’mon, alpha, fuck me already,” he whines. “Don’t you wanna make your mate feel good?” 

“Yeah, but, Law, you—” 

“Don’t care,” he groans, leaning back so that your cock slides out from his pussy, slick and cum dripping out. He plugs two fingers in and spreads them, whining, showing you how good he felt just from riding you. Rubs his folds against you, smearing creamy white all over your length. “I want it, come on.” 

“Okay, okay.” You gently push him down onto the mattress so that you’re the one on top, but he hurries to roll over so that he’s settling on his chest and elbows, hips lifted and thighs spread to present his leaking cunt to you. Tilts his head to bare his neck to you, wanting to mate already. 

You growl, leaning down to graze your teeth on the exposed mating bite, pride temporarily surging through you because he chose you. Let you mark him up, put a baby inside him. Out of all the alphas in the world, you. That was enough to send a croon rumbling through your chest, before your mate pushes his hips against you with an impatient whine. 

“H-hurry—wanna, wanna be full of you already.” 

Knees caging his thighs to mount him properly, you pulled him closer while rutting forward, your length sliding against his wet cunt one, two times, before it finally catches on the third. You heave in a breath as you push inside him, the slide dirty and messy with the squelch of so much fucking slick. Law shudders and whines as you pull back to thrust into him again, desperately clawing at the sheets. “Faster,” he begs, arching his back to cant his hips at you, trying his best to be a good omega. “I can take it.” 

“You sure?” 

Law swears he’s going to fucking kill you, slice off your dick, and use it like his personal toy. But all protests get cut off when you grip his hips tight, slamming into him just the way he likes it. He starts to babble incoherently, whining and drooling all over the sheets as you grab the back of his neck for leverage, forcing his face into the mattress. 

“Oh g-god,” he whimpers, a strange sensation pulling at his chest. He fights the urge to roll his eyes to the back of his head, letting out an embarrassingly loud whine when one of your hands starts to knead his belly, muttering into his ear about how plump and beautiful he looked, so full of your spawn. “So good, y/n-ya, don’t stop, please, please—” 

Fuck it, one pup wasn’t enough. You were going to breed him full of your babies. By the time you were done with him, his tummy would be so tight and full with love and sin that he was going to have trouble even standing up. You would carry him around, then, showcase your product to the world. Your mate, and the pups you bred inside him. 

“Y/n-ya!” 

Law cries out in frustration as you hook an arm under his thigh to flip him over, the action making your cock slip out from his hole. Wrecked and confused, he mindlessly tries to push himself back onto your cock, letting out a sob when nothing happened. He sniffles, tears streaming down his face, mumbling something about how mean you were, how he was so close to coming. 

“Sorry,” you murmur, lining yourself up to fill his pussy again, and he lets out a hiccuping moan, pouting as he pulls you down for a compensating kiss. You grin, tilting your head to deepen the kiss, hot and wet and messy. He hoops his arms around your neck as you begin to build rhythm again, the loud thwop of your hips against his making him whine. 

Two thumbs find their way on his tits, rubbing and rolling the buds—but there’s an unexpected wetness there that almost makes you pause. “Law,” you pant out, shuddering. There’s no way. “Law, you’re—” 

“Yeah, f-found out yesterday,” he moans, struggling to form words. “Wanted to tell you, but—”

He grabs your hands, rubbing his chest against them, encouraging you to play with his nipples—they’re swollen and beading milk, a delicious creamy colour, and you want to do nothing more but just latch on and suck. 

“Do it,” he says, whining. “Feels good when it, ah, when it comes out.” 

You lean down, making sure to lick up the spilt drops before finally wrapping your lips around one and sucking hard, and he cries out, wanting more. It’s sweet and rich, the liquid thick and heavy on your tongue, and you guzzle it up greedily, making a mess. You start kneading his other pec with your palm, squeezing and fondling, trying to pump out more for when you’re done with this one. 

He’s all yours until the pups are born. 

You unlatch with a wet smack, licking your lips before moving on to the next pec, giving it a little pinch just to see it drool. 

It’s too much, too good. 

Law doesn’t think he has ever been this wet before. He’s crying again, the side of his face is stained with drool, his chest is leaking uncontrollably, and slick dribbles out from his stuffed pussy in small spurts, pooling on the sheets below. He spreads his thighs wider, whines a little, wants his alpha to pay attention to both his chest and cunt. 

You take the hint, gripping his waist before starting to roughly thrust him back onto your cock, and he wails out, overwhelmed. 

“I’m gunna,” he sobs, “gunna cum.” 

“Yeah, please,” you mutter, feeling your knot start to swell. Your hands go back to gently kneading his stomach, and Law keens, the intimate gesture sending jolts of pleasure through him. “Gonna take real good care of you and our pups, gonna be the best father ever.” 

Something like warmth and need soaks through his chest, and he hiccups, dragging you down for a messy kiss. He’s leaking again and he knows it, milk dripping down his chest in unison as his arousal peaks. You break the kiss to lick him up, sneaking a hand down to rub at his clit at the same time, making him shudder and clench with overstimulation. 

“T-too much,” he gasps, desperate whines slipping from kiss-bitten lips as his eyes fall lidded, lost in a world of pleasure. “Please, alpha, I’m so so close—” 

“I got you, baby,” you whisper into his ear, pushing until the blunt head of your cock bumps against his cervix. “I got you, so do it, come on my cock.” 

He suddenly arches off the bed with a shout as his orgasm slams into him and empties everything in a series of mere seconds, crying out some poor semblance of your name. His cunt feels tight, so unbearably full, like he’s bursting at the seams—and before he knows it, he’s squirting all over your cock, crying and making a mess. 

“F-fuuuuck,” he sobs, shuddering as you continue to knotfuck him meanly for a few more thrusts, burying yourself to the hilt and finally letting it catch. Your cock’s still dribbling cum but then he starts writhing around, so you pinch his clit and he ends up squirting a second time. He wails desperately, his body twitching and trembling as the liquid gushes out from around your knot, dribbling down his legs and onto the soaked mattress. 

“So full,” he babbles incoherently, rubbing over the bulge of his stomach. “Y’can’t, can’t knock me up a second time…” 

You bite down a smile as your mate lectures you on how a second litter of pups would make his life so difficult if the first was already this troublesome, almost drunk on the afterglow. It was something you had gotten used to ever since he had gotten pregnant and excessively hormonal, especially during and after sex. 

You didn’t mind it. Not when he looked so adorable, cheeks flushed and a pout forming on his lips, not understanding why you were smiling at him. 

“It’s nothing.” You lean down to kiss him softly, placing your hands over his. “You okay?” 

“Mhmm.” Despite his previous words, he wraps his legs around your waist, tugging you close so that your knot’s forced in deeper, wanting to keep your cum inside him. He sighs, pleased. “Are you?” 

“Yeah.” You grin, lacing your fingers together, over the swell of life that is his, and yours. You’ve never felt better.  masterlist! # could be considered a sequel to this; i tried to write about the womb tat but then i lost focus and it became this