#pls i want so bad to not be lonely but how do i overcome it it's so hard

[filo-academia]

Rant in the tags because the matcha latte I had at the cafe is making my brain go overdrive

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐱 || 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary_ your task was to keep an eye on the enigmatic salesman while gi-hun attempted to join the games again, but it turned out to be harder than expected as you end up falling in love with him

warnings_ age gap (not specified but legal) reader is implied to be American but not specified, sexual tension, reader is constantly bullying the salesman, ooc salesman, fluff?, angst?, violence, manipulation, stockholm syndrome???, questionable morals, do not romanticize this irl pls

notes_ i can’t stop associating so bad from Jesse Jo Stark and IT girl from JADE with this man sorry. RECOMMEND SPECIFIC DRAMAS OR MOVIES WITH GONG YOO TO WRITE MORE FICS, I ALREADY PLACED HIM IN MY PHONECASE, MAKE THIS CRUSH WORTHY

♫ ♪ the worst playlist 4 gong yoo

✰ Index (+ fics here)

ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Lies can’t be considered to be completely bad. Sometimes you must avoid the truth to be safe, to protect… to seek. You left home with the excuse of a research project for your thesis. Truth is, you wanted to know what happened to your brother.

He graduated with a business degree and left for Chicago but after hearing nothing from him two months later, your parents went to the police.

None could be done. He was simply gone.

But you didn’t believe that. There was more, there had to…

With luck, you discovered your brother left Chicago two days after his arrival, and then boarded a plane with a route to Seoul. With almost zero comprehension of why he would leave the country, hell, the damn continent! It resulted astonishing to you.

It was so great you needed to get answers that you ventured into the unknown. You didn’t know how to speak Korean, you didn’t know much about the country you landed eight months ago.

And you didn’t believe a hundred percent about faith or destiny. But your first clues to your missing brother lead to a man who looked at a card in his hands while he flipped it continuously.

That was Seong Gi-hun. A man who had lost everything and then won but didn’t feel like that afterward.

For some weeks, you couldn’t process the fact that your brother was dead. He had joined some games deathly games that were worth it for many since you could leave as a wealthy winner.

Even more senseless because perhaps your family wasn’t rich, but your brother couldn’t have anything else than student debts and that was something that most adults could deal with.

It all led to drowning in sorrows and thinking your efforts to find him were in vain. The year your brother played the games was 2022 and the winner wasn’t him.

Gi-hun didn’t give up on you. He took care of you when he didn’t have to. Later told you about his plans and suggested you join him.

For your brother.

It was for his memory that you agreed to learn how to wield and use a gun. For his memory, you decided to stay and overcome the people behind those hideous games.

Leading you to become a ghost. Working as a teacher’s assistant until the plan was coming closer and you had to quit. Living in a rented apartment until you had to move out to a little house Gi-hun bought under a pseudonym for you to use while he was inside the games. He assured you could take all you needed from the money he had. Although you didn’t like to do so, you had to because you no longer had a job.

And for a long time, you had to be at the subway station looking for an apparent handsome, tall businessman who offered to play Ddakji and slapped people when they lost. Nobody had seen the salesman yet.

You avoided judging beauty but you hadn’t seen anyone who you considered to be handsome, and no man was slapping people.

Between lifting weights, practicing core strength, having no job and searching for a businessman who bullied random people, you had found a routine.

A lonely routine. You held some camaraderie with the men who also looked for the salesman, but you hadn’t found a real friend other than Gi-hun.

It was late when you were told they had found the salesman. Rain poured and you were at a restaurant having dinner. With hurried feet you took a cab that left you at the door of the solitary pink motel, never noticing certain cops looking from the other side of the street.

When you opened the door, you heard voices and secluded cries. You pulled out your gun and carefully walked towards the pleading sounds.

In a room, there lays a tied man, pleading for freedom. You know him; it’s Choi Woo-Seok.

His eyes are teary, he’s beaten and shakes desperately. You only let him know with his hands to quiet down and to calm down.

Both of your hands are on the trigger. You slowly walk back towards the entrance, where the voices can still be heard. You identify Gi-hun as there. So you try to be more careful, even when the music playing disturbs you.

The darkness of the room makes it easier for you to disguise. That’s when you can see the men sitting in the middle of the room.

They’re playing the Russian roulette and it makes you frown from cringe and panic.

It wasn’t hard to understand that the man facing Gi-hun was none other than the salesman.

He was indeed handsome. He looked like a clean and neat businessman, and the way he arrogantly spoke and held his gun said a lot about him. He was insane.

The only thing you can care about is to prevent death. Your hand doesn’t shake, fingers confidently on the trigger, waiting for the right moment while your free hand sneaks inside the pocket of your coat, pulling another loaded gun.

When the salesman raises the gun, pointing at the ceiling and he is busy talking, you pull the trigger.

Both men turned to look at you in surprise.

Gi-hun suddenly looks relieved, while the salesman stares at you so deeply that it makes you nervous for a second.

But your reflexes were fast enough to see that he was about to move, so you pointed at him with the other gun, shooting at him with a potent sedative right in his shoulder.

“Where did you get that?” Gi-hun asked you. “A month ago, in the kitchen of the Chinese lady’s restaurant around the block”

“Thank you” You nod at him, seeing how he went straight untie the man in the other room.

You look back at the salesman, who is unconscious on the couch. Slowly, you walk towards him. Almost nervous that he would move, jump out and kill you, but it’s impossible.

Your hands start wandering around his neck, taunting his skin and fabric covering it to see if he possesses a microphone or camera that would put everyone in danger.

At the same time, a cop arrives, accusing you and Gi-hun of killing the salesman.

Everything changed in the span of a night.

…

He woke up to the smell of alcohol. His eyes could barely focus but he knew his head was in the lap of a woman. He knew he was in handcuffs and his feet were tied up.

Between faded memories, he remembered your face and hands pointing a gun at him.

When he tried to focus his view again, he realized you had stood up, he saw your blurred silhouette glancing around the room until he felt more oriented. He could hear you talking in English, often mixing words in Korean with bad pronunciation. Something about a doctor and ordering Mexican food for takeout.

Pretty woman, he thought. From your sophisticated and unusual pick of heels, your dress and coat, your earrings, hair, and shade of lipstick. You truly were a sight.

Once you hang up, you turnto see him seemingly awake.

“Gi-hun! The freak is awake!” you yell, making him frown.

Freak? He has been an honest gentleman with you.

“Your Korean is not good” his voice sounds raspy and he can barely sit straight with his extremities tied up.

“Neither is your English” he chuckles briefly.

Choi Woo-Seok appears at the door and looks scared at the salesman, who barely eyes him, still focused on you.

“Gi-hun left with Jun-ho to speak properly” You roll your eyes, nodding.

“Alright. I ordered food for everyone, the dentist is coming to check Gi-hun and this man over here. Keep an eye on that, please” he nods, closing the door and leaving you alone with the salesman again.

“I guess I’ll have to do it myself” you basically whisper to yourself.

“A doctor?” Ignoring the man, you step almost between his legs and you sense he got taken aback by the proximity.

“Take off your clothes” his eyes opened a little more and you almost laughed.

“Excuse me?” one of his brows looked slightly arched, half playfully and half taken aback.

“Take off your clothes, sir” you repeated, trying to sound calm.

“I’m afraid I’m handcuffed and tied from my ankles, miss” he shows you his hands and oddly moves his free fingers.

“Hmm, too bad. I will then…”

You only made him look like a mess. But you found a tiny camera and microphone well hidden in his blazer.

Your hands never trembled over his skin. And unbeknownst to you, he was on fire. You even cleaned the blood on his face and he discovered how soft your hands were.

Once you crushed the camera and microphone, you took a seat in the same place Gi-hun was an hour ago, facing the salesman.

“Two years ago you handed a card to a man. He was non-native, had green eyes, ebony hair, tall like you, and was very friendly” you start, feeling a pang in your chest while describing your brother.

Meanwhile, the man thought back on the hundreds of people he had tricked. It was easier since less than 8% of the players were non-Koreans.

“Ah, yes, I remember him. Very expressive and handsome. You people from the occidental are very extroverted” he said with a cheeky smile and you almost rolled your eyes. “That was your brother, I’m assuming”

“He was, and yes; While you only made an offer and he accepted, you didn’t tell him his life was at stake” The way he looked at you with arrogance made your blood boil.

“Ma’am, the games are made for the mere reason of helping people. It is just one lucky individual who takes the prize”

“Bullshit. It is entertainment for the rich and a purge of innocent people you and your shitty folks believe are useless. I come from the epitome of capitalism, don’t fool me” he stares too much at you. In his head, he wondered why you got so invested in the whole situation. You seemed young, smart, pretty even. Why were you wasting your mundane life trying to be a hero?

“You and Gi-hun are not saviors, miss. Him trying to contact my boss is useless. You keeping me here, is pointless. The games will go on and my superiors will succeed, while you will watch and hate that your attempts to stop it were worthless” he says.

You huff tired, walking back and forth in the little motel room.

“Good lord, Why are you so obsessed with protecting an organization that will likely replace you the moment your heart stops beating?” He tilts his head, with his hands in cold handcuffs under the table and a little smirk. He almost looks adorable.

“I know where you come from. I know you have never experienced the extreme lack of money. I was doing my research when my superior; The Frontman, found a foreign woman working with Mister Gi-hun” In his words, you try to hide the fear. Of these people hurting your family. Of them knowing more than they should about your plans with Gi-hun and Jun-ho. “Don’t be fearful, ma’am. We have no business with people outside of Korea. But you shouldn’t be digging along those filthy scums. Now you’re also part of this”

The silence makes him feel like he won. His smile is pretty, but he was a fucking asshole.

“And for what miss y/n? For your brother? Who proved to be desperate and needy like everybody else. A man who died and nobody came for him…” he leaned, showing you his cuffed hands and mocking you with every bashful word he spitted out.

Your eyes get teary. You sigh, nodding and looking away. The salesman stared at you with ease, believing he had won once again.

But you take him by surprise when the heel of your boot kicks his ribs and sends him to the floor.

You quickly grab your gun and kneel beside him. The barrel of the gun traces his temple and cheekbone slowly as you lean to his ear.

“You are a man and I’m a woman who are simple mortals. Quit with the arrogance and start speaking the truth” you spit out with feigned sweetness. Your knee brushes his lips and he only looks at you defenseless, but soon goes back to smile. “Why don’t you try to be a good boy for me, sir…”

“You waste your time, dolly,” he says in Korean and makes you frown.

“Fuck you” you spit at him, literally. You couldn’t care less if you weren’t acting decent. The salesman could go to hell. You just grew more eager for Gi-hun and Jun-ho to accomplish the mission.

…

The door was softly closed even when your ears were ringing in anger. Gi-hun and Jun-ho were standing, expecting you.

“Did he say anything?” you sighed, shaking your head. “He’s a fucking asshole”

“We can’t give up. The plan must keep going but now that we have him, he could give us details” You nod at the young ex-cop. Gi-hun only huffed but ended up agreeing as well.

“The only way to keep him steady is if you stay with him” Your heart almost stops as you look at Jun-ho feeling mortified.

“Me?” He nods, crossing his arms.

“Either way is dangerous for y/n. She’s definitely not coming with me to the games, she shouldn’t go searching the island, and staying alone with that sociopath will not calm me while I’m gone” The worry in Gi-hun made you smile a little, he really cared about you and it made you feel like everything was worth it.

For him, your brother and anyone who had joined or planned to join the games.

“I will stay with him. We would be pretty much isolated and if we stay together 24/7, I shall be fine”

“You will be protected, you have my word,” Jun-ho says softly.

“I won’t be able to see you tomorrow. Take care of yourself, use any of the money, and do not give up on making the salesman speak” The tone the older man uses makes you feel a little teary, it’s a goodbye. “Jun-ho and Woo-Seok will keep you safe. And if anything happens to me, take all the money and go back home”

You frown, continuously shaking your head.

“Gi-hun, I wouldn’t be able to leave if something happened to you. I would stay until I knew what happened” he smiled, giving you a quick hug before he got his jacket.

“Keep your eyes open, kid” you nod, wishing him farewell.

The room fell into silence. And it was only you and the salesman in the other room.

…

If anyone walked into the house in one of the most humble districts, they would believe it was a social experiment. A man tied up from the hands and toes has to follow a woman like a lost puppy each day.

From having breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, him being blindfolded while you took a shower and you playing games on your iPad while he took one too.

The silence was the excruciating part. He barely talked and when you tried to pry about him, it likely ended up with you furiously pulling his hair and leaving the room made a mess.

“I could be useful, ma’am,” he said, sitting straight at the table. “The least I can do in lockdown is to help you with banalities”

Out of his suit-tailored suit, he almost made you think about the word ‘domestic’. He was wearing a grey hoodie, black sweatpants, and white socks.

“The only thing I’m asking you to help me with, you cannot provide” you reply, serving him a cup of coffee.

“I don’t drink coffee” he politely declines de cup, and you roll your eyes.

“Really? You look like someone who needs a lot of caffeine” The playful tone came out of nowhere and it made you bite your tongue.

“And I wouldn’t take you as an addict for it” It’s the first time both of you actually speak and it’s odd. “Who would’ve thought?”

“Yeah, I like it very toasted with just a smidge of almond creamer” You hear him chuckle and it makes you smile. But you remember the reason why you are there.

You aren’t there to talk about coffee.

“So… How long had you been doing… your job” one of his hands was cuffed to the chair beside him, and with the free one, he was able to eat.

“Some years, five, maybe seven. But I’ve been in the organization for longer” You almost dropped your fork, surprised to hear he was actually answering.

You wouldn’t push it too far.

“Are the games really that terrible like Gi-hun said?” The man tilts his head.

Perhaps he was getting dementia and he was forgetting you had him captive in a random house. But he was willing to answer.

“They are. But that’s what they sign up for…”

“No. That’s how you and your peers have shaped the games” he makes a feigned pot, cleaning the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “We’ve already talked about this…”

“Listen asshole, I just need you to tell me where the fuck is that damn island” It’s obvious you were getting exasperated and he was enjoying it.

Wearing a sundress and sandals, messy hair, and barely traces of makeup, you looked lovely to his eyes. Almost impossible to imagine you could get angry so easily.

“If your friends were smarter, perhaps they would have already figured it out”

“You really rather die than accept you’re just their dog. Just a messenger who will be replaced once they notice you have mysteriously disappeared…”

Now was his turn to get angry. You could see the way he was tense.

“Not very different than you, ma’am. You were left behind to keep an eye on me. Just a little ragdoll to use”

You slap him so hard that even some birds peeking in the window fly away at the sound. The red tonality starts spreading across his pale cheek.

“Do it again” he blurts out and it boils your blood. He must’ve felt hard by your harsh action but you were enraged.

So you did again, harder this time.

His expression was indescribable. He seemed pleased and you hated it.

“Fuck you!” You yell exasperated by him.

“I told you once, this is pointless” You harshly grab his jaw and make him look up at your eyes. He has a playful smile and some of his hair falls scattered across his forehead.

“I will make you spit out every dirty little secret of yours. Even if it takes longer than needed”

He leans even closer and you literally feel his dry lips against yours but it doesn’t make you flicker.

No matter how wet the whole situation is making you feel.

“Why so quiet, doll?” he asks, grabbing your hip and moving his hand dangerously back and forward towards your ass.

“What a shame you are not complying. If you did, you’d had me begging for you to fuck me hard”

He gulped shocked, you won.

Your free hair, the view of your cleavage, the proximity to your lips, and the words that spilled out of your mouth were driving him crazy.

“You’d love it, right? I can tell no one has fucked you good enough. That’s the real shame, sweetheart” You want to ignore the way you feel you are throbbing, as well as the sight of his tightening pants. “No need, I can get wild by myself”

“Really? You like to get messy in the sheets?” You nod, feeling bold and sassy, gently touching his inner thighs and abandoning the touch once you’re inches away from feeling his hard cock.

“Yes, sir. I love watching my own reflection, gasping and moaning while my fingers slip in and out of my cunt and I feel so close to squirting”

“Fuck…” he curses in Korean a trail of words, which makes you smile as you leave.

…

The salesman was once very poor, he was a guard in the games, became head of them, and then jumped to be the recruiter.

He killed his father and became the most isolated man to protect his and the organization’s identity.

At least that’s what he revealed when you forced him to get drunk. You also got drunk to set it equal but both of you remembered everything. The salesman even earned the right to be out of the handcuffs. Which resulted odd to you, because he hadn’t tried anything to kill you or escape.

It also made you wonder if he was feeling weird things like you.

Sat on the balcony at midnight during a sudden heat wave, watching the skyline of Seoul at a fair distance, it almost felt like a simulation. Where he wasn’t your captive, he was a good man and both of you were having a date. As ridiculous as it sounded.

“Okay. I get you’ve had enough in life, but don’t you want to actually live? To wander and experience tranquility. You’re getting old and time will pass” you unexpectedly said, even taking yourself aback.

“I chose this life some time ago. It’s what I get…” you wanted to take his hands and tell him he had a chance.

But he was just the salesman.

“I would like to beg you to think twice. To question yourself if you want to die as their… dog, or start living. But you won’t listen, you are missing the warmth of life… and love”

You didn’t mean to say all that. But you were also drunk. And that’s what you honestly thought about him.

And that was two days ago.

The most important phone in the house rang. And you literally jumped out of the bathtub to pick up the call.

In a drenched dress that was supposed to be your outfit of the day and hair tangled up in a towel, you get towards the phone, ignoring the salesman seated steps away.

“Hello?…” you are greeted by a distorted voice but soon you know it’s Jun-ho.

“…y/n!… Hope you’re alright, Have you found out anything?” You sigh, already answering the man.

“No. Tiny details of the man but nothing that would actually lead to the island” you almost whisper, hoping the salesman won’t hear you.

“Not much luck here either. A storm will impact tonight. And we lost contact with Gi-hun”

“WHAT?” You nearly scream, the salesman looks up at you with curiosity and you continued the call, opting to whisper if needed. “Yes, the microphone is gone”

“For fuck’s sake…”

“If nothing can be done. We will return tonight, but I have high hopes” he says.

“I’m hopeful too. I will try again with the salesman, Jun-ho” The call was getting harder to understand, you could barely hear the man on the other side. You only hear one thing.

“If needed, kill him, y/n” he hangs up and it leaves you made a mess.

You look back, finding him charming while trying to flip the page of a crossword book.

You couldn’t kill the salesman.

Developing feelings for the man who tricked your brother into joining the games, was almost insane.

You sobbed without care sitting on the couch facing the bed, feeling like you were dancing on your brother’s grave. Like you were failing Gi-hun, Jun-ho, and all the crew. Your friends…

But your salesman was interesting, every conversation with him made you forget about everything as simple as it could be. You liked his big hands and his silly smile whenever you tried to outsmart him.

You are so screwed.

He stared at you sobbing with your hands covering your face. And something made him feel sorry. He hadn’t realized that spending a week with you made him remember a lot of things about humanity.

He knew you were stressed out and scared of losing your friends. He never had friends or girlfriends to rely on, because he thought he didn’t need them. He was better off alone, feeling powerful and condescending for finally being on the other side of the coin.

But what was life without love?

“Let’s play a game,” he says.

“Not in the mood for your bullshit” when you turn to look at him, he is pointing at the open balcony and the view of the city.

“We’ll play mimic. I will tell you the location of the island and you only have three guesses” You roll your eyes. “You can say random shit to confuse us”

“You have my word. This is your only chance…”

“And if you win?” He shrugs. “We can talk about that later”

He would make sure you won.

“Three guesses…” You nod at him, noticing he wasn’t being playful and cocky as usual. He was calm and almost looked innocent.

Slowly, he points at the painting above his head; it’s the sea.

“In the sea, yes, we know the island is on the sea, genius” he smiles, then points at the painting again. This time, his fingers trail downwards, trying to reach one of the edges; to your left.

His hair hadn’t grown in the slightest, but out of his suit, with ordinary clothes and no way to tame his hair, your salesman looked divine. With an adorable expression, hoping to make you understand.

You loved him.

“You are not paying attention” you huff in annoyance.

He trails his fingers down the painting and then points at the decoration of candles at the little table between you two.

His fingers touch each candle, making you follow the pattern of a simulated bridge.

“Dammit, Couldn’t you be less specific? I don’t understand shit…” he sighs, shifting on his seat.

“One more guess…” you’re not sure if you believe him. He could either keep making lies to shift your attention somewhere else. And you didn’t have the heart to call Jun-ho with uncertain hopes.

The salesman points at the painting one last time and you pay real attention. He had big hands and long fingers, fitting a pianist. They move downwards above the sea of dried oil paint. Then, he points at the skyline of the city and finally trails the candles forming a bridge.

Inthe sea, left, south, bridge and the city.

Your eyes snap open.

In the sea, towards left and south, with a bridge that connects to the city.

“THE ISLAND IS LOCATED SOUTHWEST, ALIGNED WITH THE PIER OF THE CITY!” you scream in happiness and the salesman nods in silence, you cheer, typing the message and sending it to Jun-ho “OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU”

You were about to hug him, but you stopped. Quickly, you stand up but you feel his hand pull you down again.

“Say it again…” his voice sounded deep and it made you feel even more embarrassed after all.

“I’m sorry. I hate to admit it, but I’m human. We’ve spent so much time together that…” Feeling completely helpless and embarrassed you look away. But his touch is there again, caressing your thigh. This time his touch is delicate, unlike the first days where he would seek control and indulge pain even in the slightest.

“I feel things too” he admits, shocking you.

“You feel things?”

“By telling you where the island is, your friends can succeed and with luck, everything will be over. You’ll have avenged your brother and helped future people who could’ve died in the games. The government would step in and I would be charged, you’ll likely get deported or fined even when you did the right thing” You let him speak and trace random patterns in the skin of your thigh because it felt right. “I am no good and I shouldn’t say anything else, but if you’d have me… I would gladly run away with you”

Your heart makes your cheeks bloom a beautiful color of blush. It was wrong, not part of the plan, out of your mind. But it felt right, an inevitable consequence.

You literally jump to kiss him. And in an amazing turn of events, the salesman transformed into the most submissive man.

His hands were almost trembling while they held you.

He couldn’t believe it. All the efforts he put into being loyal to the island that gave him the chance to become someone, were over the floors. All he knows is that when he looked at your bright eyes, he wanted it to be his sight forever. Your company matches him perfectly, you are the type of woman he didn’t know he craved.

“We might need to go to therapy and this is a terrible idea but I’ll pretend you’re worth it,” you say in his lips, biting his lower lip gently.

He smiles. Unsure if he’s making the right decision but confident that he’s choosing the right partner. The salesman believes he doesn’t deserve a second option. He hated himself for a variety of reasons. But he couldn’t comprehend the way you made him feel. It was his obsessive nature what had been completely shattered by your arrival. Transforming into something else, unknown and prone to make him addicted.

He hated vulnerability, but he was welcoming it with open arms for you.

“I don’t want to ever let you go”

“Don’t you dare, darling” you say, moving to straddle him and kiss him a little more.

___________

SALESMAN X READER X FRONTMAN FIC NEXT AND IT’S WEIRD AND MESSY AND A DISAPPOINTMENT, STAY TUNED

[onabeee]

Hi! I'm a new anon! Could you write some head cannons of Josh doing things to comfort you during a lonely Christmas season? -🪐

yes pls feed me with more josh stuff.... any who sorry i took so long to get to this! I'm always busy but i found time to fit tumblr in💪 I hope you like this 🪐anon!!

Josh would ALWAYS notice when you're feeling out of the blue. No matter how far you would try to brush it off, he would always find way. Maybe its through the look on your eyes or the growing bags under your eyes as you tried to water down your feelings for him.

He would suggest on doing some random stuff to get your mind off the negativity. He would ask if you wanted to go take Jim on a walk with him, go drive to get some hot chocolate, go see some Christmas lights, and other holiday activities

If you didn't want to do anything that day, he would get a candle from the cupboards and light it in the bedroom and play a hallmark Christmas movie while holding you with the lights dimmed.

if you were ever hungry but was feeling a bit too down to really make anything, Josh would pull you up and got you to make some Christmas cookies with him. He didn't care if you were good at decorating cookies or not, he just wanted you to shake off that awful feeling and for you to realize that the good things over come the bad.

He would take you to go ice skating just to hold your hand. He didn't really know how to ice skate but I guess for you he would slowly learn. Some how, he landed in the near middle of the rink, leaving you to go and rescue him.

But you two weren't the only one in the house that needed some on that holiday joy, Jim needed some too! You two went to a local pet shop to get Jim some holiday clothes and a reindeer squeaking toy that he would most likely chew up within 5 minutes. Its the spirit that matters though!

OH OMG WHATS THIS.... a..... A BONUS LITTLE BLURB/HC/IDK AT THIS POINT??!??!

You didn't know what caused this, the pit less feeling of sadness that was within you. The emotion would go away sometimes but it was re-surface normally every few months, especially the more colder months.

You tried to stifle the emotions the best you could but every old hobby and "distraction" only brought you less and less joy as you struggled to get back on track. Nothing was working out. It was like a huge wave hit you from all sides, all at once.

You even tried to find new hobbies and activities to distract yourself with. You tried knitting, going on runs, Pilates, anything to distract your mind from negative thoughts. Nothing worked out, you still felt that bottomless swell of nothing-ness

Of course, your boyfriend Josh took notice of the cycle of your behaviors. How could he not? He didn't want to force anything out of you or make any appositions but he knew something was going on. He did know that we would support and comfort you in any way possible.

As you tried to work your "distractions" again, you found yourself somehow fitting in Josh with all your distractions. He followed you on walks, drove you wherever you needed to go, cooked meals for you frequently, it warmed you up a bit but that feeling still lingered hard within you.

It was like clock work. Every time when you felt that dark feeling overcome you, Josh was there to help you up out of the cycle. He would set blankets on you, get you any drink or food you want, take sweet care of you while trying to work on the band.

You never wanted to spend a minute of the day without him. You felt jubilated around him, you felt like your old self, you felt like You.

Josh wasn't really one to decorate for holidays, it would just mean more work and plus he didn't really have time. Christmas was different though, You and Josh would get together for a day and decorate the house while listening too music and drinking hot chocolate. This year was no exception to the tradition. Plus he knew it was a little something to get you to cheer up.

You found yourself in the kitchen brewing up hot chocolate with a small smile on your face, a smile that resembled content peacefulness. The knowledge of knowing that bad days happened and good days pass, the days only left more to reflect and grow on. Josh was up in the attic pulling down the Christmas tree, lights, ornaments, and other holiday decorations.

You organized the lights accordingly how wanted it to be placed on the tree from top to bottom. To be fair you did all of the organizing while Josh set up the Christmas tree by himself(with the moral support of you!)

Then came the most endearing part. You and Josh would turn the lights off, fire up candles, and play slow Christmas music as you decorated the tree. As you set up some of the stringed lights. you couldn't help but steal a few glances at Josh.

After the tree was done, Josh motioned you to sit down on the living room couch, he looked pretty excited and eager to turn all the lights on. Sure it happened every year but each time gave you a little more joy and washed over the dreaded feeling.

Josh went behind the tree, connecting a few of the plugs into an extension cord before turning on the finished decorated tree. The tree glowed before you. You and Josh couldn't help but share a "Woah" or "Wow" here and there.

Josh walked over to your side and slumped his hand over your shoulder. You leaned into him for a moment before he spun you to face him and set his hands on your hips before placing his lips on yours. the kissed wasn't laced with lust or anything. It was a genuine kiss of love. A kiss that said "No matter what happens, I'll guide you through it."

[luveline]

You probably won't see this because your inbox must be overflowing but I have always wondered how you got started here? I do requests as well and for nearly two years I have been practically begging for them and no one really wants to ask for anything and if they do and I fill it, no one really reads it. I know the first response for many is probably well maybe my writing is the problem but being modest, I have posted plenty of fics in my time that get a lot of positive attention. It just seems to be requests that are the issue. I have all but given up on asking for them at this point because it feels embarrassing to keep begging and even more mortifying to post them and have the notes not hit 20. I've noticed people tend to inundate the same authors (like yourself) with requests rather than spreading them throughout blogs. Did you ever have this issue at the beginning? If so, how did you overcome the sadness and disappointment and continue to want to give to others and the community? If not, do you have any advice? Because the lack of response is so disheartening that it makes me not want to write for others anymore.

Hello! Just to preface, I’m worried my answer isn’t very helpful, so before you read please know I’m absolutely not trying to be an idiot or insensitive, I hope this doesn’t read that way! pls think of a /gen tag the whole time lovely

omg no I would honestly never assume it’s down to writing! I fear with tumblr it’s sort of like a lottery for if your fic will get seen cos of the tag system, like if it’s not a super popular tag then you have to hope it gets reblogged enough to get into the TOP section but that barely ever happens especially for requests! I got started writing fics just by writing them, but I do remember of course the early stages of my blog where I didn’t have many followers and didn’t get many requests, and I remember too how disheartening it was!! But, that being said when I first started writing fics I had no idea just how popular they could get, so I think I was saved from becoming too upset because I literally didn’t realise more than 200 people could like a fic if that makes sense? I remember my first Remus fic, baby fever, got like 100 notes in a few days and I just was so happy, so whenever I’m feeling disheartened by a lack of response I try to remember how grateful I was back then for much fewer interactions, and at the same time, a lot of my works I was writing because I was lonely and desperately wanted company, so sometimes it didn’t even matter to me if people read them because I was writing them as a sort of self indulgence, so I think that helped me not feel too down. I feel worried saying this because you say that your requests aren’t hitting 20 notes so I really don’t want to sound tone deaf suggesting you try to keep your head up, because I do think if my fics were not reaching my audience I’d feel just as disheartened. I’ve found that my fics do better now because I have more followers that see the fic/request, and I’ve collected them over time through many many fics and I have to assume much luck with the tags! Like, I believe whole heartedly that you write well, and if you’ve been doing it for two whole years, the only reason I could think of that you’re not getting the attention you deserve is bad luck, it’s really not nice to spend a lot of time and energy on something and have it go unseen. I think when I first started I just kept thinking, if I keep writing, this next one will be the one people like, and I still feel that way now, and I still feel disappointed sometimes when not many people comment on one cos it feels like a reflection of the quality of your work, but I think there are just so many factors so try not to blame yourself for it, I think it’s just a weird algorithm or something. I wish I could tell you why some blogs get more requests than others but I’m honestly not sure why it happens!! And I think it’s okay to not want to write for others if you feel unappreciated genuinely, it must feel really awful to put effort into things and then wonder if the person who asked managed to read it!! I hope whatever happens that you can find joy in writing and find an audience, and I think you know already that your writing isn’t the issue !!

[navree]

ooh, pls expand on your dae/jae/aeg3 ideas! 😃😃😃

This is what happens when I wake up at 3am due to stubbornly persisting jetlag (pro tip, if you're gonna go to a country that's, like, sixteen hours ahead of your's, just block off a solid week of not doing anything when you get back because your sleep is gonna be FUCKED, my European jetlag has never been this longlasting or this bad), I create Ideas in my head and then use them to help me fall asleep. And it's honestly highly likely I'm actually gonna write something with this, it's quickly moved really high in my ASOIAF fics priorities list, just behind my Dance AU (I really should also write my version of Aegon's Conquest but it would just be so fucking looooooooooong and fall quarter is about to start for me at school anyway).

So, unlike most Greens, I actually quite like Daenaera, sue me, sometimes character are just Your Baby, and she's mine (I've enumerated why here for the curious). But I do understand the narrative issues some people have with killing off Jaehaera to make room for her, so I'm merging the best of both worlds here. A lot of the same things I talk about when it comes to why I like Daenaera's relationship with Aegon can also be applied to Jaehaera, she's also someone who likely would have felt lonely and isolated and deeply depressed after all she went through, and there likely wouldn't be many people she could try and connect with. There's Gaemon, her bastard half-brother, and there's Aegon. But can Jaehaera really bring herself to connect with him, or he with her? Aegon's father sent men to murder Jaehaera's twin and threaten to rape her; Jaehaera's father not only kept Aegon a prisoner but also made him watch his mother's execution via being eaten by a dragon. That's a huge emotional gulf for two children to overcome on their own, and that's where Daenaera comes in. Kids need socialization with other kids, we know this, and given that Daenaera becomes a ward of Aegon's half-sister Baela, her visits to King's Landing to see her brother often include bringing her young charge (I'm also reducing the age difference between Aegon/Jaehaera and Daenaera, because it is rightly weird as Hell that so much emphasis was put on six year old Daenaera being the hottest preschooler in Westeros). She socializes with both Aegon and Jaehaera, since she's on a similar social level, given not just the closeness between the Velaryons and the Targaryens, but her being kind of a member of Baela's family, and thus technically the royal family by extension. And Jaehaera is queen, so it's not unreasonable for someone to go "OK she needs some noble female companions" to allow her and Daenaera to hang out more.

In my head, the first closeness happens between Jaehaera and Daenaera, and not only as a meta-rebuttal to fandom weirdos who wanna pit two little girls against each other like it's One Tree Hill because you've all got big feelings over a fictional succession crisis. But I think Jaehaera would be more openly receptive to friends than Aegon. I mentioned it in my above linked post about Daenaera, but Aegon's one friend in his minority was Gaemon, and he had to be very careful about that friendship because of how Gaemon could be treated, so he was probably recalcitrant from getting close to anyone, along with his other issues. Jaehaera doesn't have that hangup, she's just a lonely girl without any friends, so having someone who's canonically sweet and charismatic enough that her sunny disposition uplifted the people around her would definitely help her out, and make her appreciate Daenaera as a person and want her around. It'd be almost something similar to what HOTD has between Rhaenyra and Alicent, close female companions bordering on homoeroticism and sapphic first loves.

On the Aegon front, a lot of what I talked about when talking about their canonical relationship can also apply here even before a marriage. Aegon's two main relationships to people his age are Gaemon, with the issues mentioned above, and Jaehaera, which does come with its own issues from the Dance. Daenaera would still be the first major guilt-free relationship in his life, someone he can interact with and be close to without feeling the burden of his own sins or the ones of those close to him on his shoulders. And again, along with that same temperament that endeared him to her in canon, and would endear her to Jaehaera in this AU, that's how they draw close and forge their own independent friendship. On all three sides though, it would likely be restrained to something like courtly love, where you can have concretely romantic feelings and even certain minor expressions of those feelings, but you can't ever really do anything, you just pine and have unspoken thoughts about everything. Aegon and Jaehaera are married, to each other, and they're also still growing, considering they get married when they're ten, so even if they grow closer and start communicating about shared desires more, it's still gonna take some time to parse out what it is they feel and what they want. Similarly, Daenaera would also need the time to grow and realize what she wants as well, and what her feelings even are, given that she's also young. And while I've talked about how Aegon and Jaehaera would grow closer to her, even beyond Daenaera being a naturally friendly person, there is something for her in those relationships as well. Companionship with people her age, for one, and a more calming presence from two people who do seem pretty even keeled, if melancholic, after the chaos of her own early life, and a measure of stability after going from two parents to just a father to orphaned to living with Baela.

One thing that would, in my view, firmly solidify the idea that Aegon and Jaehaera like having Daenaera in their lives and want to keep Daenaera in their lives is the secret siege. In canon, Daenaera nearly dies because of the poisoned fruit tarts, it's only because maesters give her something to make her throw up before the poison gets too much ingested into her system that it doesn't, unlike what happened to poor Gaemon. In my head, there's a period of time, probably a couple hours but still, where it's verrrrrrry touch and go for Daenaera and both Aegon and Jaehaera are really worried about her. Because they know death, they've seen death, not only have a lot of their family members died but they have personally witnessed someone not just die but be killed, be murdered. They know what it looks like and they both realize that they don't want that to happen to Daenaera, that she's important to them. After all, when I said "aegon and jaehaera and daenaera as the conquerors reborn", I wasn't just being facetious. I've mentioned in a lot of my Conquerors meta that Rhaenys appears to have been the glue that held her and her siblings together, and I can see Daenaera occupying a similar role. Like Aegon I and Visenya before them, Aegon III and Jaehaera are likely people who would be reticent in expressing emotion, though for different reasons (trauma vs just inherent personality), whereas Daenaera is not. And having kids socialize with someone like that, and learn to socialize with other people, including each other, like that, it's important, and it makes Daenaera important to them, along with the personal feelings that might become involved, especially with them all maturing emotionally and sexually at the same time. Post-secret siege is when I think things would take a concrete turn to the romantic, and given that the most successful Targaryens of all time were very famously in a polygamous marriage, that's when a plan can start forming about bringing Daenaera into the marriage, not unlike Rhaenys getting brought into Aegon and Visenya's marriage.

(though, unlike my headcanon where Aegon and Visenya never wanted each other romantically or sexually due in part to incompatibilities as Visenya was a lesbian, and they both wanted Rhaenys, all three participants in this poly couple would want each other. I think that Aegon and Jaehaera might like Daenaera individually more than they might like each other, cuz again there's a lot of baggage involved, but there's romantic attachment and sexual interest, though to varying degrees, from all parties to all parties)

A marriage including Daenaera also helps deal with the unseen faction of the Dance: the Velaryons. The Velaryons kinda got shafted by both sides in this war. The Blacks in general treated a lot of members of House Velaryon badly in the lead up (Daenaera's grandfather, again, is Vaemond Velaryon. That Vaemond Velaryon), along with Rhaenyra imprisoning and threatening the House head, Corlys, over her own neuroses. The Greens, meanwhile, not only kept a member of House Velaryon as a prisoner (Baela, who is also the current king's sister), but are responsible for the death of a member of House Velaryon through marriage, since Aegon and Aemond killed Rhaenys (fuck you HBO for ruining that team up, sorry I'm done now). The toll of the war on House Velaryon was pretty severe, with wrongs done by both sides, and there does need to be some element of House Targaryen going "my bad" and offering some kind of recompense, especially considering the ways House Velaryon helped both sides with the allegiance switch (also, if we're moving up Daenaera's age, you can have her father be a casualty of the Dance, rather than the Daughter's War). Having a Velaryon at the table, given a prominent seat at the table, can definitely be that, especially someone who is historically pureblood Velaryon, without major Targaryen ancestry who can clearly advocate for House Velaryon. So if the two Targaryen monarchs go "we want this Velaryon as our queen", that can work from a political perspective and allow the match to go forward.

And if we keep the dragons around, which I want to, because I like dragons, that's something that can also connect Daenaera and Jaehaera. Say Morghul never dies in the storming of the Dragonpit, now Jaehaera has a dragon, and we know Daenaera loves dragons, whereas Aegon can't stand them (reasonable, given what happened to Rhaenyra). So Jaehaera can't bond with Aegon about dragons, but she can bond with Daenaera, who'd be very interested in hearing everything about it. If Daenaera wanted to claim a dragon herself, and we know she expressed the desire to have one after seeing Rhaena and Morning in canon, Jaehaera could be the one to help and facilitate that. Not to mention, I put in a response to someone asking who might Sunfyre have allowed to be his rider if he survived Dragonstone (can't find it for the life of me tho, sorry!) that Daenaera was a likely candidate, given that they're both pretty sweethearts. So if I get to be self indulgent and have Sunfyre survive for a bit, Daenaera can connect with him and Jaehaera can have some link to her deceased father, Sunfyre's original rider.

So yeah, these are just a couple disjointed thoughts I had based on that idea, but in my head that's how it should be. I'm sure I'll think of more about them as actual proper adults and reigning monarchs, cuz right now a lot of this was childhood and teen years focused along with a spotlight more on how they got together than how the relationship unfolded into adulthood, but hope you enjoyed the expansion anon!

[lasi-nariyoyo]

SVT's 96z : Where are they at now?

What is this reading about?

I asked the cards where Jun, Hoshi, Wonwoo and Woozi are at mentally, what are their current feelings and their intentions for the future. 

Disclaimer:

My readings are made for fun and you should read them for fun too. So don't take them seriously. 

Jun

8 of cups, 7 of swords, the Empress (added later the Magician for more clarity)

There's a feeling of abandonment, this can mean everything and nothing. If we link it to his private life, maybe someone walked away from his life or he left someone. Maybe if we interpret it professionally, he feels left behind or lonely?

His new solo is coming out (pls support him) so this feeling of uncertainty might be related to it. Maybe he doesn't feel that confident without the rest of SVT or he feels too much responsibilities and expectations on himself (let's not forget their tour is behind the corner, so he must feel overworked right now).

These cards might also be related to something much more trivial. For example he's buying something and he's being careful about it, scams are always behind the corner.

I feel he's very insecure about some aspects of his life, but at the same time it's not all bad and he is or will be in a phase of creativity and production. If his problems are personal, it's possible he might solve them or meet new people that will give him new energy.

I think that once he'll be able to overcome whatever caused him pain, he'll be able to heal and take new opportunities.

Hoshi

the sun, death, 10 of swords, 6 of cups

He is happy with where he is right now and with what he achieved. He's extremely proud of himself and of the other members.

But we're talking about our beloved tiger, once he achieved something he's always thinking about the next step, so he's ready for a new challenge and he's also ready for the struggles tied to this new challenge.

We know Hoshi's story as a trainee, we all know how much SVT struggled and how hard they had to work to be where they are. This man is 100% ready to go through blood, sweat and tears to achieve what he wants. 

In a way, these cards seem all tied together, and it seems Hoshi is really ready to begin something new, a new cycle and he's ready to work hard for it.

But life isn't only goals and work. Hoshi should also spend some time to connect with himself. It's possible he has some unsolved questions from the past or that he simply has to reconnect or care more for his old friend/family.

Wonwoo

queen of wands, the sun, knight of wands, 4 of wands

Queen of wands is an interesting card related to Wonwoo. Maybe it means he's more confident and ready to be more in the spotlight? I think of his "game boy" lives, in the past maybe he wasn't exactly comfy during lives, especially if alone, but now he's hours and hours on live, playing games. More than a "yass queen" type of confidence, I think he simply found his special way to express himself. 

He's also quite content like Hoshi. He's satisfied with everything that has happened, they are successful, full of ideas and happy.

But like Hoshi, being happy doesn't mean not wanting to obtain anything new. He's probably in a process where he's trying to do something new.

He has achieved a lot, but probably dreams to achieve even more.

Woozi

temperance, the hierophant, strenght, page of cups

He's in a stable state of mind. Unlike the others so far, he isn't particularly happy, nor occupied with worries. Their success hasn't changed his own attitude, but on the contrary he's continuing his path and thinking about the next steps. Nothing makes him extremely overjoyed, especially professionally since he knows that achieving success is hard but keeping it is even harder.

We know this guy is all home/studio/gym, so he's working hard on what will come next. He has his own trusted working schedule and he's following it religiously.

Probably he should let go a bit of his job and focus on more fun and relaxing aspects or in general on his private life, pretty much like Hoshi.

Thoughts: for this reading I'm picking cards that fall from the deck, this is why you might see a different number of cards for each member. ngl Jun's cards puzzled me, so I had to pick one more to understand it better. The other three 96z seem in a better position mentally, but it's nice to see how they're all so focused on their job and on the future. Hoshi's reading in particular felt so Hoshi lol Woozi's cards were also very much Woozi too in their vibe :') idk what's up with Wonwoo, but he seems happy too lol

That being said, I received some asks in the meantime (thank you^^), among which there is one about skz's future spouse, svt's love situation and svt's ideal types (which I already intended to do), I'll do them as soon as I can, I apologize in advance if it will take a while!

[shorkbrian]

Problem

Prelude - Don’t come @ me pls I tried to be pOeTiC and artsy okay lol

Pairing - Keigo Takami X Reader

Warnings - no NSFW, religion, blood mention, nonconsensual touching.

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/4SQ0ytpTP8v1Rx8FWR22cv?si=d_i0QJowT9yF-b6rZMOKvw

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

People often don’t notice the little, gradual problems.

Cluttered desks, dishes in the sink.

The thing that stands in the corner at night.

You only noticed it after it started to move, creeping closer, sitting in your chair, bright golden eyes piercing through the dark.

His name is Keigo, he tells you, and there’s no reason to be afraid.

Of course, that doesn’t stop fear from icing over your veins, stomach twisting, hands clutching at your blankets as if they were a shield to protect you from the strange entity that had haunted your bedroom for so long. You had done so well, pretending that the shadow was nothing but a trick of the light, that there was nothing there except a chair filled with dirty clothes.

He doesn’t come any closer, crosses his legs in the chair he occupies, tilting his head as the two of you stare at each other.

His name is Keigo, and he’s an angel.

-----

The angel has been with you all your life.

He is able to recount the days you’d spent in your room, crying and begging God for something different, to take your pain away. The moments you thought you had been alone, forgotten.

The troubles you’d overcome, the faint flashes of happiness that filled your life and made you feel light and warm.  Keigo even remembered the color of your bedroom walls in your childhood home, the small scribbles you’d made in the corners, near the baseboards. How you’d get in trouble for leaving your mark on your world, be punished for taking up space.

You were too young to remember that.

But Keigo remembers.

He was there for all of it.

When you confide in him your fears, small whispered thoughts, Keigo listens.

“I feel so lonely all the time.”

“You may feel lonely, but you’re never alone. The plants in your window love you, for you give them life. Your bed welcomes you with the arms of a lover after a long day, loves to hold you in it’s embrace. The ground welcomes the steps of your feet, how you shape it’s very existence just by being present. You’re an entire ecosystem, your flesh sculpted from the earth. Your blood is brewed from rainwater, thousands of creatures live inside of you and on your skin. And of course, you have me. I am never far from you, you’re never truly alone.”

Life doesn’t seem as bad.

-----

The angel usually only appears at night, when you’re tucked in bed, fresh from a shower. You’ve come to like his visits, no longer feel trepidation when he shows up in the corner, materializing out of thin air.

He doesn’t look like what you think he should. There are no heavy wings, no  countless eyes, no sharp halo adorning his head. No white robes or silken clothes, just tattered jeans and a hoodie.

But he doesn’t look exactly human either, with his golden skin and molten eyes. His fingers are long and slender, made for music and praise. The curve of his soft lips makes it easier for him to worship, to condemn or guide his charge.  Hair that looks too soft, like liquid gold that flows from his scalp. You want to touch, but you’re afraid to ask.

You notice that the plants in your house flourish at night, when Keigo is around. The tender stalks seem to reach for his presence, follow his form greedily, as if he has a gift that he’s withholding from them. Flowers bloom and vie for his attention, and Keigo laughs, touches the petals gently and watches the blossoms burst with color and growth.

His existence as an angel is unquestioned, not when he proves to you that he knows you to a degree that you don’t even know yourself. The freckles decorating your skin, those are all from him. It’s true that they’re angel kisses, given to the people they favor, that they watch grow.

They’d dusted across your nose as a child, light and varied. Darkened as you’d gotten older, appearing on your hands and peppered over your face in no particular pattern.

It makes you blush, and at first you don’t believe him, thinking he’s playing with you. But Keigo moves to the edge of your bed, gently takes one of your hands in his own, and lifts it to his lips.

A freckle appears when they press to your skin, a dark mark pushing to the surface.

You spend the next day looking at each of your freckles in the mirror, studying the marks that mar your skin. They’re sprinkled across your shoulders, you’re collarbone, your ankles. It’s strange to think that each mark is evidence of a kiss. Why would the angel kiss you?

When you ask him the next night he visits, Keigo pauses.

“Sometimes… there’s a hole in your soul, and that’s just the way things are. And you try to fill it with various things; songs that make your heart waltz, views that make your eyes long for more, raindrops against your skin. I’ve found the most effective way to fill it is with being with the person who makes the world seem less bad.”

How can an angel feel incomplete? “Are you not God’s perfect creation?” You ask.

Keigo sighs, and says no more.

-----

“Why is that book your favorite?” Keigo has read it before, scouring the pages to try and find pieces of you in it. He’s read all of your books, picked up every single thing you’ve ever touched, ever looked at, jealous of the way it had caught your attention.

You don’t know.

You don’t know why you love the book clutched in your hands. You just do. Keigo thinks he understands.

He’s been visiting earlier and earlier, while the sun still rests above the horizon. The angel never asks about your day, he’s there for every moment, just never visible to you.

He’s the warmth that soothes your skin when it’s cold out, when you’re afraid that your jacket won’t be enough to stave off the chill.  Keigo whispers reminders into your ear, a little tickle that helps you remember to turn in sale reports on time, or what time you’re supposed to meet with a new client.  He never gets the credit for all that he does, but that’s okay.

Your thoughts turn to him constantly, mind churning with questions. Why show himself now? Is that allowed? What is heaven like? Is God kind?

Keigo brushes these questions off, frowns when you ask them. He won’t talk about his holy father, nor his own role as a guardian angel. You learn to hold your tongue.

The angel prefers to talk with you, or sit in silence as you tend to your evening tasks. You think he might be lonely.

——-

You wake up sometimes with warmth still on your skin, more freckles dotting along your body.  But there’s already so many, the new ones go unnoticed.

Keigo is never around those days.

“Why do you not visit?” You ask him, saddened by his absence. Was it something you did wrong? Were you no longer worthy of his presence?

“I met someone that reminds me of warm toned skies. I’m afraid of what I might do to them.”

You don’t know what that means. Asking the angel to clarify results in a long silence, and you look out the window of your house to take in the stars, the clouds that try and hide them from view. You wonder if Keigo knows their names.

“I saw you in my dreams” Finally, the angel answers, golden eyes fixed on his hands folded in prayer in his lap.

“You dreamed of me?” You didn’t know angels could dream.

“At first…. Now I think of you. I..... I love you on purpose, I love you intentionally.” The confession is weighty, said slowly and quietly. Golden eyes find your own and search for acceptance.

What do you do when an angel confesses their love? 

When you stay silent, Keigo disappears.

Sleep does not come easy that night.

——-

“Nothing you humans do ever matters. All that really matters is what you do.”

He’d appeared after a time, a few weeks where you stared at the chair in the corner and saw nothing. You weren’t sure if you were glad that he was back.

Keigo was critical of your actions, hovering behind you while you tended to the plants in your home, lounging on the counter while you cooked meals, sitting near you while you read and making you nervous at his unwavering company.

“So the meaning of life is to give life meaning?” You had answered his subtle jab, and Keigo had shown you his teeth in a smile. It looked much less like a smile, more like a gesture of a puppet, a mockery of a human with too many teeth. He didn’t say whether you were right or wrong.

Safety was no longer the prevalent feeling when Keigo was around.

The angel does not have the same restraint he used to exhibit. He touches you now, unashamed of his needy nature, how he craves your humanity, fascinated by the intricacies of your life, the thoughts that run through your head.

It makes you uneasy, his hands cold as ice when they find your own. But who are you to tell an angel they are wrong?

He never misses a night spent in your presence, even when you think he does. The angel waits till you’re asleep, creeps past your defenses and indulges in human comforts.

You always murmur in your sleep when he slips into your bed, when his cold, cold vessel presses against your warm body. Keigo wonders if he could steal some of your warmth, carry it with him.

“You look perfect even when you’re half asleep and not speaking proper English. I am so in love with you, it feels like I’m floating all the time” You don’t hear his words, but he says them anyways.

-----

His residence is overbearing.

You find yourself spending more and more time away from your home, spent at work, where he doesn’t appear. Nights are spent with friends, drinking in their homes, sharing stories about romantic endeavors.

A small part of you knows that Keigo must be nearby, being your guardian angel. But he never materializes around other people.

The angel grows desperate for your company, invades any spare moment you have, while you’re using the bathroom, showering, when you’re early for a meeting and alone in the conference room.

His demeanor is casual, relaxed, but you begin to see the outline of his wings, blood red plumage displayed across his back.

Strong emotions bring out their wings, you had learned. A dropped glass had wings flashing behind Keigo as the angel was caught off guard, and you’d begged for him to show you them.

He couldn’t make them visible at will, he had explained. They only showed if an angel was experiencing strong emotions, strong feelings.

Their appearance now made you afraid.

You tried to talk to Keigo one rare night you spent at home, work out your differences and soothe his feelings towards you, the jealousy and the anger that sank deep into his being.

“I don’t know how to make this better. I don’t have feelings for you the same way you feel for me” You had confessed.

Keigo’s eyes had blazed, yellow fire flickering in the iris.

“My body forgot what it felt like to be warmth. You’re the sun that I step into, the rays that fall upon my back and warm my wings, the heat that fills my heart and spills from my lips.”

He was passionate, gripping your arms with too-hot skin, and it burned.

“Before you go to sleep at night, you water your flowers, your plants. In the light of your window I can see your body wrapped in your nightgown, and you’re indistinguishable from the blossoms.”

The pain seared deep into your bones, and you felt anger, true anger at the celestial body in front of you. Never had you asked for his affection, for his protection.

“I have thought about my love for you, and the ways I could describe it are innumerable. You’re so human and it makes me want, and I don’t know what to do with the fire burning within me. I love you-“

You’re screaming at him then, and the sky turns dark the same moment you thrash out of his burning grip. Harsh words are said, things you should’ve expressed months ago, when the angel broke your boundaries into pieces and did what he pleased.

But the courage was here now, the bravery to defy an angel, to say that it was wrong, that you didn’t want them around anymore.

The sky crackled with lightening, and Keigo’s wings filled out, full of sharp, dangerous feathers. You had wondered about the color, why they were red instead of white, but as it began to rain, the red sloughed off, dripping to the ground in thick rivulets.

His blood-red wings were colored with the spatter of the sins he’d committed. But Keigo never talked about his sins, never about heaven.

Now he did, shouting at you with his thunderous voice, telling you of the lengths he had gone to in ensuring his existence in your life. How he’d begged at the feet of God to be allowed to show himself to you, to express the desire growing inside of his traitorousus body.

How he’d been shamed, shunned.

He’d shown himself to you anyway, took each reprimand in stride. When another angel had been assigned to you after the golden one’s confession, Keigo had broken, fought with teeth and claws.

The blood of his brothers tainted his wings.

So much had been sacrificed to stand by your side.

There had been no grand plan, Keigo had seen you and knew he wasn’t like the other angels. He was different, able to feel and touch and learn.

The two of you scream at each other, you spitting hateful things, how you wish he would leave you alone.

Keigo doesn’t care, you’ve made him feel and he’s not letting that go.

Lightening strikes a tree and it erupts into flames, and the tears running down your face are hidden by the pelting rain.

You hate him, he scares you.

It’s said out loud, and the angel stops in his tracks, looking at you with emotions you can’t begin to understand.

He leaves in a rush, his wings still stained red despite the cleansing water streaming along them.

——-

Keigo leaves you alone.

Your flowers start blooming again, even without the addictive presence of a holy angel.

The freckles dotting your skin fade, and you don’t mind, you don’t miss the marks that litter your thighs, your chest, the marks you’d never allowed to be made.

Life is okay again. You can breathe.

“It’s cold again and I miss you” His voice makes you drop the glass in your hands, and it shatters against the floor.

His wings materialize for a second, red as blood, dripping.

But then the angel is waving his hand, and the shards of glass on the ground are gone, the puddle of water, his wet wings.

Keigo has something to say to you, and he wants you to listen.

“I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you. But I didn’t. And, in truth, it was maybe better that I didn’t - I say that now, though it was something I regretted bitterly for a while.” He keeps stepping closer to you, until he’s in your space, heavenly body inches from your own. He feels like marble, a chill emanating from his golden skin.

“More than anything I was relieved that in my unfamiliar wanting-to-talk state I’d stopped myself from blurting out the things on the edge of my tongue, the things I’d never said, even though it was something I knew well enough without me saying it out loud to you like this….. which is, of course, I love you”

“This won’t work, Keigo.” You explain, voice small. “We aren’t the same. I have someone out there meant for me, and it isn’t you.”

He frowns, takes your hand in his, interlaces your fingers. The angel presses a kiss to your knuckles, the same as he did the first time you met him.

“If soulmates do exist, they’re made, not found. You build a relationship with the person that makes your heart happy. I demand the labor of love so that I may make it. Craft so that I may make it art. So that I may make it mine.“

You don’t get any more say in the matter.

-----

His love is all consuming.

It grows and burns with each moment he spends with you, leeching off of your warmth.

People often don’t notice the little, gradual problems.

They don’t notice until the problem becomes unfixable.

[sophfandoms53]

So, you ever think King Andrias from Amphibia is pretty simillar to Lunaris from Ducktales seeing how they're both hidden twist villains planning to destroy other places and manipulated a missing character not seen til season 2 (Della for Lunaris and Marcy for Andrias)? Do you think King Andrias was done better writing wise than Lunaris and why?

LUNARIS BARELY STOOD UP BEFORE ANDRIAS RAN IN SWORDS BLAZING.

Lunaris could only HOPE to be the type of villain that Andrias is.

The best thing about Andrias as a twist villain is that.... he’s not really a twist. From the first episode we met Andrias, even if it was just his voice, he says, “The pieces are starting to fall into place... It’s time... for the game to begin.”

From this FIRST LINE ALONE you just KNOW this dude is up to something and once we officially meet him, you’re still suspicious of him because of that introduction line despite his friendly performance.

The first thing we heard from King Andrias was that ominous line for a reason.

From the very beginning you’re meant to be suspicious of him, you’re meant to be questioning him, his intentions.

And this line he said to Marcy?

“Always sad to see someone go isn’t it? I have a proposition for you Marcy and I think you’ll find it very interesting.”

That was the line where, for me and many others, you just knew Andrias was up to something and he was plotting and now? With the context of True Colors? Knowing that Marcy poured her heart out to him about her fear of being lonely and saying goodbye to her friends? It was all deliberate.

He used her. He used her emotions against her. He knew what he was doing. God did he know what he was doing... he used everything she told him and then... he won.

HE FUCKING WON.

The minute that sword went through Marcy’s back, that was Andrias’ victory.

And Anne might’ve gotten home, but the box? It’s still in Amphibia and you can bet Andrias has it and he will be using it.

Andrias is an actual THREAT. He got Marcy to trust him and then, when she least expected it, he betrayed her and killed her. His action of killing Marcy is going to have an emotional impact on the rest of the characters.

There’s an old saying that if you wanna show how strong and powerful your villain is;

Show. Them. Winning.

When the villain gets what they want? It FORCES the heroes to work harder and smarter than them. They need to break out of their status quo and challenge the characters and having them lose is an amazing way to do that.

That’s why Infinity War’s ending is so powerful, because Thanos won.

Having the villain be at their highest and prime makes it all more sweet when the heroes come in and are ready to take the bad guy down. It feels earned and when the heroes win, it’s worth it because it was a challenge they had to overcome.

Andrias’ is so successful as a villain because he had a connection to the main characters, mostly Marcy, but his connection to Marcy affected the actions made by her and the other characters.

Lunaris though? He was never really a threat. He felt more like a joke villain than anything. His connection to the other characters? Practically nonexistent. And his random vendetta against Scrooge came out of nowhere and only existed because Scrooge has main character syndrome and god forbid DuckTales not have Scrooge be the center of conflict for once. Sure he had all this planning out and was like 5 steps ahead but it doesn’t matter because you knew Lunaris wasn’t gonna win. You know he’s losing and that kinda sucks because Lunaris winning was the exact thing he needed to be prove he was worthy of the title villain. That and his motivation being better, another thing Andrias has done better than him.

DuckTales was very much afraid to break its status quo, you always knew the McDuck Family was coming out the victors at the end of the episode. There wasn’t really any stakes during the finales (except Shadow War and some of Last Adventure) in retrospect because you can see how it’ll end from a mile away.

The McDucks struggle during the middle of the episode but they become the victors at the end anyway because of the fucking family is the greatest ex-machina of all nonsense that I never wanna hear again in my life like omg we get it family can be amazing but pls stop talking about it and show it.

Amphibia does everything DuckTales did but with much improvement and more subtlety.

Amphibia isn’t scared of raising stakes and boy, does it work.

[thoyoung]

127 June energy readings

haechan: in June he's going to have money issues somehow. I think since he'll stop with dream promotions he might feel a bit disoriented for a while. will juggle different stuff but nothing will give him real income or satisfaction. maybe he won't get paid enough for his work. he feels a bit tired and doesn't take responsibility for anything. he's also very lonely. I talked in a different post about his love vibes (or privately with someone now I don't remember lol) and he might be in a romantic slump, meaning he's either single or likes someone that doesn't like him back. but he has no interest to date rn. he will get gigantic help from different people tho, his family first of all, very good relationship with his family, then huge help with everything in his life in June from the king of swords who for me it's doyoung, the emperor who for me is johnny and the hierophant who here I perceive as taeyong. usually taeyong is cups but here I feel him being the teacher and counselor of the situation. haechan also got the magician, very powerful card. this is him and it means power and self awareness. it tells him to work against being abused by others. it could mean growth or deception, based on his choices.

johnny: oof johnny is having a hard time. he's in a "what's the point of all of this?" mood. he's a bit depressed, lonely, sorrowful. and I got the lovers in reverse which could mean problems with love or a real breakup. I got the emperor card tho who is him, it means he didn't lose his shit completely and he's just going through it a bit. temperance card, he will get a hold of his life and will reach balance. the 3 of swords reverse also gives me confirmation of love problems, maybe a toxic partner or cheating. it suggests johnny to step back from this relationship. king of cups reversed tells me he has issues with jealousy and either he or his partner fears commitment. could be him. he might like someone but fears commitment and at the same time he's jealous of them being with someone else lol. besides this, he's feeling a bit suffocated by work, things are going well, new projects might come his way, but he has to be wary of being too self centered and proud in a negative way

taeil: he's bored af ahahaah. I got the moon card which obv tells me it's him. it has to do with dreams and illusions. he's either dreaming too much and needs to step back and be more rational or it tells him to step ahead and not be afraid of the darkness. I think there are good opportunities for him in June but he's afraid of the burden of it and the fear of responsibility. queen of swords in reverse could be his employer which is cruel and impatient. maybe this is why taeil is afraid to take on a new job. he's afraid of competition. five of wands reverse tells me he won't accept a new opportunity because he wants to avoid conflict. death in reverse tells me he's also afraid of change. this month he won't step out of his comfort zone. at the moment he's perhaps spending too much money, or having unsustainable habits masking them as self care. but I also got the tower and wheel of fortune. around the end of the month he might have great news and things will suddenly change for the better.

taeyong: needs to go on a self discovery journey in June. he has to think of his potential and make good use of it. June is a very favorable month for him, very abundant. the cards I got reminds him of how beautiful and incredible he is and that he has to use that to his advantage lmao. could mean something to do with the beauty or fashion industry. might releases a clothing line or something. he will have great success in June if he doesn't take things for granted. he will go through a bit of despair and discouragement at work but he'll overcome this soon bc he will achieve great success. he's afraid of ruining stuff for himself but he only needs a bit of courage and faith. no love message in this reading lol

yuta: his reading is very hard. it's like he doesn't want to know anything. his energy is very hidden. I got both king of swords and queen of swords but they don't want to mean anything. a message I got from this reading is that he's in a very weird mood, he's resisting change. he needs to listen to his inner voice and do what his intuition tells him. yuta could have witchy powers ngl lmao. he might be good at tarot or manifesting. he's hidding his energy a lot. perhaps he needs to work on opening up his heart. regarding his job he might need to overcome some small obstacles but nothing relevant. might learn something new of have a new opportunity. very particular reading. yuta doesn't want his energy to be seen lmaoooo

jaehyun: not to scare you but the worst reading. jaehyun is having a bitchy attitude. he's angry, manipulative, has difficulty maintaining good relationships, he's domineering, authoritative. has lost all hope and he seriously needs help. insecure emotionally thats why he's being hard on everyone. could be aggressive. cruel. jealous. impatient. literally all cards are this way 😭😭😭 he's in a big denial, doesn't want to make choices, refuses to examine his behavior, is being avoidant. he feels imperfect. let's all suport him in June and send him words of love pls. tried to clear the reading to understand why he might feel like this and there's no real concrete reason. he reached a breaking point and he needs to start loving himself more. he thinks everything is his fault. he has deep issues with perfectionism which is causing his bad mood. he has to stop concentrating on all of those little details and look at the bigger picture. what he think is truly important it's actually not that important afterall

jungwoo: interesting reading. jungwoo is having issues with being calm. he might accuse people of dishonesty, could fight with someone and he'll be wrong. he might think others are not paying him enough respect. could act impulsive. can't see the situation clearly and is too afraid to stop and realize that no one wishes bad things on him. feels like he has to protect himself. this could be just a few days matter tho bc generally the month of June looks good. he'll move forward with his life and he'll be enthusiastic of some stuff happening. he will do something definitely, some new job or a project and he'll be successful. great great messages about his job, very successful month in terms of that

mark: lmao someone's going to confess and he'll be so taken back. he doesn't like this person at all. a very unwanted confession. it will make him think a lot tho. he'll be on edge for a while and a bit paranoid. regarding work tho, similar to haechan, he'll think a lot of the future, also some financial loss fear and wondering what he's supposed to do now. can't see the future well but I also see he's going to keep working very hard and he'll have success that way. good relationships with friends and family. might celebrate a bit or have some free time and grow tired of it. has to take care of his health a bit more

for doyoung I talked about his love energy here but I did another reading regarding work just to have a more general insight on June. I see fullfilment towards the end after some difficulties. he's too rigid tho and hard on himself. I got other cards urgently advising him to step back from that toxic relationship he's been in. he's literally got all the cards meaning he can't move on from it right now tho so nothing much will change. that thing is probably roaming his head a lot in June. asked for new info but I only got the same messages I got in the love reading

[ga-yuu]

Ikemen Genjiden~ “Cherry Blossom colored love” Part 2~ Yoichi Route

One day, when the bitter cold had gradually abated and the flower buds were beginning to swell.

Yoichi: “At this rate, it won’t be long before the cherry blossoms bloom.”

Yuno: “Mm cherry blossoms, I’m really looking forward for that.”

Me and Yoichi-san are on a date.

Yoichi: “That’s right. When it gets warmer, its more easy fall asleep. I can use the flowers as an excuse to see you again.”

(ah....)

The smile on is face makes my heart bounce. I really wish this moment could go on forever.

(But this day is almost over.)

When I think about the near future, a dark shadow falls over my heart. Tomorrow, Yoichi-san will be leaving Hiraizumi and going to the battlefield.

(I’m worried, but Yoichi-san is the one who is going to have the hardest time.)

Yuno: “.........”

Yoichi: “Yuno?”

Yuno: “Ah No nothing. I just felt little lonely.”

I tried not to let my anxiety and loneliness show on my face.

Yoichi: “....Thank you for worrying about me.”

(Mm)

It seems like Yoichi-san knew exactly how I felt.

Yuno: “You already knew, didn’t you?”

Yoichi: “Don’t blame me for that.”

Yoichi-san’s hand gently cupped my cheeks.

Yoichi: “I’ll be back, when the cherry blossoms fully bloom.”

When I raised my face, I felt a soft kiss on my lips.

Yoichi: “While you’re waiting, how about you fantasize things you want to do with me and let me know when I get back.”

Yuno: “...Um.”

That gentle promise was enough to fill my heart with warmth.

(It’s amazing how Yoichi-san can make me feel safe with just a few words.)

Yuno: “Thank you, Yoichi-san. I feel a little better now.”

Yoichi: “I’m glad.”

We joined our foreheads together and smiled at each other at a close range.

Yoichi: “And while you are at it, why don’t you share a little more....of your warmth with me?”

Yoichi-san’s eyes shone mischievously----

Yoichi: “Yuno.”

(Ah.)

While I was admiring his eyes, he bites my lips.

(No. We’re in public....!)

While embracing me from the front, he lifted the edge of his lips happily.

Yoichi: “Aww you’re so nervous. How cute.”

Yoichi-san’s hand gently starts to stroke my back.

(Ah....)

A feeling of embarrassment welled up in me, as his stroking hands remined me of our moments in bed.

Yuno: “Yo-Yoichi-san.”

Yoichi: “I know. You’re not used to being touched like this public.”

(You knew....!)

When I tried to pull away, he hugs me tightly.

Yoichi: “But can’t you just let it go today?”

When his sweet voice goes directly into my ears, my heart starts to shake with anticipation.

(Well..... starting tomorrow I won’t be seeing you for a while.)

(I’m embarrassed to say it, but I want to feel Yoichi-san all over me today, too.)

With that in mind, I put my arm around Yoichi-san’s back.

Yoichi:(smiling bashfully) “.....Yuno.”

Yuno: “Yoichi-san....”

Our faces comes closer and our lips meet as if it was a natural thing to happen.

The happiness within me surpasses the feeling of embarrassment---

And I took in the warmth of my beloved’s body in mine with all my being. (PRO TIP: PLSSS don’t do this in public....PLS!!)

After that---(some days later...!)

Yuno: “....Ah.”

Cherry blossoms.

As I go out into the garden to sweep, I see cherry blossom petals falling in front of me.

Yuno: “Looks like the cherry blossoms is fully bloomed.”

Its been more than ten days since Yoichi-san left for war.

(Yoshitsune-sama did say that the war is going to be dragged on.)

---FLASHBACK----

Yoichi: “I’ll be back, when the cherry blossoms fully bloom. While you’re waiting, how about you fantasize things you want to do with me and let me know when I get back.”

---FLASHBACK ENDS---

(Yoichi-san...)

Looking up at the cherry blossom petals, I think about the last meeting with Yoichi-san.

(I don’t give a damn about our promise. I just hope that Yoichi-san is safe, that’s all---)

........

*War zone in the background* (Yoichi POV)

When Yuno was staring at the cherry blossoms, at the same time---

Yoichi: “........”

Yoichi, who stands on the battlefield, was also looking up at the cherry blossom petals. A strong wind blew the ashen petals away from the war torn area---

Yoichi: “......I broke our promise.”

His voice blends in with the strong wind that was blowing.

(I have to apologize to Yuno and comfort her properly.)

(I’m sure I’m worrying you.)

While thinking of Yuno, I exhaled. And at that time---

Soldier: “It’s an enemy attack!” 

Yoichi: “....Finally.”

The soldier’s shout brought me back to reality.

Yoichi: “Don’t be pressured okay? Just do what you always do.”

Soldiers: “YES!”

Yoichi: “Hmmm Good....Let’s go.”

While facing his enemy forces, Yoichi readied his bow.

The strength of both the armies were equal. The battle was chaotic---

(If we don’t do something, the war situation will only get worse....)

Just when I was gnashing my teeth over my inability to get things done...I saw some of my men were cornered in the enemy line.

Soldier: “Damn, so far.....”

Yoichi: “Move!”

He quickly draws his arrow and backs up his men, who are about to be killed.

Soldier: “Yoichi-sama, Thank you so much.”

Yoichi: “Don’t mention it.”

After making sure his men were safe, he waved his hand. But immediately after that----

Soldier: “Yoichi-sama! watch out----”

One of the ally soldiers points at Yoichi’s head with a pale expression.

Yoichi: “.....Agh”

A rain of arrows were poured over Yoichi’s head---

.......

*Yuno’s room in Hiraizumi background* (Yuno POV)

Yuno: “----Hm?”

A certain crisp sound startles me. When I looked towards the sound, I noticed that the branch of the cherry blossom tree which was growing outside the mansion was broken.

(Somehow, I have a bad feeling.)

I remembered Yoichi-san standing on the battlefield. The battle raged on and we were told that there was no further communication from Yoichi-san’s unit.

(If I stay inside my room, I’ll keep thinking of dark things.)

When I was about to get up and get some fresh air---

Benkei: “YUNO!”

Benkei came rushing into my room covered in blood.

Yuno: “Benkei, What on earth...?”

I was trying to calm down Benkei, who was looked unsettled.

Benkei: “Yoichi is...”

Yuno: “Eh.”

Benkei: “Yoichi’s unit is back!”

(Yoichi-san!)

The moment I heard Yoichi-san’s name, I rushed out of my room.

.....

*Main entrance of Hiraizumi background*

(Where is Yoichi-san?)

The moment I heard Yoichi-san’s name, I rushed out of my room.

(I’ve never felt this anxious before.)

(Something bad must have happened....)

When I think about it, my heart beats faster due to all the tension.

Yuno: “Yoichi-san.....”

Yoichi: “What’s wrong?”

(Eh!?)

I looked back and saw Yoichi-san, surrounded by his soldiers waving at me.

Yuno: “Yoichi-san! I was worried when I didn’t hear from you.”

Yoichi: “Yeah, that’s right.”

Yoichi-san walks up to me, smiles and opens his mouth.

Yoichi: “Sorry. I did sent a notice about my return. But it seems that it didn’t reach you.”

(If so, I’m glad.....)

I was relieved to see Yoichi-san smiling as always.

Yoichi: “Sorry, I’m late.”

Yuno: “That’s fine.”

(Yoichi-san returned to me safely. That’s all that matters.)

I looked into his eyes as I said this.

Yuno: “Welcome back.”

Yoichi: “....Aah, I’m back.”

Those words made me happy more than anything else.

That night---

*Yoichi’s Bedroom Background*

Yoichi: “Hey Yuno----”

Yoichi-san who was quietly listening to me, suddenly calls my name. Then he bowed deeply when we sat face to face with each other.

Yoichi: “I’m sorry to bother you right after I came home but I’ll be out for a bit tomorrow.”

Yuno: “Yo-Yoichi-san! Please raise your head.”

Being surprised when I saw him bowing at me suddenly, I placed my hand on his shoulder.

Yuno: “If you have something to do, I won’t say no.”

Yoichi: “.....Yuno.”

Yoichi-san finally raised his head after hearing my words.

Yuno: “But, can I ask what you’re going to do?”

Yoichi: “Well...”

It’s so rare to see Yoichi-san responding so crisply.

(You’re being strangely formal...What’s wrong?)

No matter what, I quietly waited for his reply.

Yoichi: “......”

Yoichi: “I want to deliver one of my dead soldier’s hair and suicide note to his mother.”

His serious eyes looked straight at me.

Yoichi: “The night before he died, he entrusted me with his letter. He said, if anything happens to him, he wants his mother to know about his whereabouts...”

Yuno: “I see...”

(That person trusts Yoichi-san.)

Otherwise no one would entrust a suicide note to anyone.

Yoichi: “And he said....”

Yoichi-san’s voice was mixed with a feint hint of regret.

Yoichi: “ His mother tends to get sick often when he comes back from war, and he always stays by his mother’s side----and...I want to make his wish come true even though it turned out this way.”

Yuno: “Yoichi-san....”

His desperate voice pierces through my heart.

(Yoichi-san is a person who overcomes everything by his smile.)

That’s why I could feel Yoichi-san’s pain so vividly.

(I don’t want to leave him alone.)

Yuno: “Yoichi-san, may I come with you?”

When I thought about it, the words naturally came out of my mouth.

Yoichi: “....I don’t get it. This is none of your business, right?”

Yuno: “Yes, but...Isn’t she sick? As a pharmacist, maybe I could be of any help? Beside I also want to help Yoichi-san in delivering his subordinate’s wishes.”

Yoichi: “Yuno....”

(Please Yoichi-san)

I stared at Yoichi-san, hoping to convey even a little bit of my feelings.

Yoichi: “........”

After a brief silence....

Yoichi: “Okay, Yuno if you don’t have any other work, will you?”

Yoichi-san asked and at the same time bowed.

Next morning---

We both headed towards north, where the soldier’s house was located.

..........

Yoichi: “...I made his mother cry.”

Yuno: “Yeah.”

After delivering the hair and the suicide note to the soldier’s parents we were on our way back.

Yuno: “She was, but she was also grateful to Yoichi-san.”

Yoichi: “I was just a delivery man.”

While directing the horse, Yoichi-san shrugged lightly.

Yoichi: “If that person is grateful, then its all because of you. You diagnosed her illness and reported to their local pharmacist.”

Yuno: “I wish I could take care of her until the end but the distance  from where we live is a problem.”

(Still, I’m happy that I was able to help.)

I looked up at the sky with a refreshing feeling.

Then---

Yuno: “Ah”

A strong wind blew and pink petals came to my sight.

Yoichi: “Cherry blossoms....?”

.......

*Cherry blossom tree in the background*

Yuno: “The cherry blossoms in Hiraizumi have already fallen, but these ones look like they’ve just come into full bloom.”

Yoichi: “This area is the north of Hiraizumi, so the flowering must have been late.”

We tied our horse to a cherry blossom tree and sat side by side at its base. Looking up at the falling petals, Yoichi-san slowly whispers--

Yoichi: “I just want to give you a life of beauty, you know?”

(Eh.....?)

When I was surprised and turned my head towards Yoichi-san, he smiles at me bitterly.

Yoichi: “At least these cherry blossoms in full bloom will makes you smile. ...Or that’s what I thought. It’s arrogant.”

Those words reminded me of Yoichi-san I saw last night.

(maybe.)

Yuno: “Is that why you were so reluctant to talk about the dead soldier?”

Yoichi: “Hmmm, yeah. At least that’s what I thought.”

He exaggeratedly sighed and shook his head.

Yoichi: “----But.”

He turned his gaze towards me and squinted as if he saw something dazzling.

Yoichi: “But I was wrong....Yuno is much stronger than I thought. I was hesitant about something trivial and you volunteered to come along with me. If its not for you being there, I wouldn’t know how to heal that mother’s broken heart.”

(Ah.....)

Then a soft light dwells in Yoichi-san’s eyes---

Yuno: “I was able to get close that mother’s heart is because of you.”

I too want to convey my heart to you.

Yuno: “Also I came all this way because I want to be close to your heart.”

Yoichi: “My heart?”

I gently touch Yoichi-san’s hand as he looks at me curiously.

Yuno: “You’re a grown-up, who always accepts the bitter reality while smiling.”

Yoichi: “That’s....”

Yoichi-san tries to look away. Then I squeezed his hand that was about to leave.

Yuno: “I love Yoichi-san who is kind and matured but I also love him just as much when he’s not.”

(Because I want to be with you no matter what....)

Yuno: “I may not be able to help you much, but I want you to include me in the bitter reality of your life.”

Yoichi: “Yuno... Thank you.”

With a small whisper, he holds my hand back. Then we silently stared at the cherry blossom tree in front of us.

Yoichi: “Do you remember the promise we made before the war?”

(Promise.....)

Yuno: “You mean my fantasies of what to do with Yoichi-san when he comes back?”

Yoichi: “That’s right. Tell me what were you thinking.”

Yuno: “hmm...”

I can sense Yoichi-san’s happy gaze on me.

Yuno: “I did have so much in mind. But when you came back, it all went away.”

Yoichi: “Are you sure? You can be greedy.”

While laughing happily, Yoichi-san gently touches my cheek.

(.....ah)

Yoichi: “But I’ve always wanted to kiss you.”

Like that Yoichi-san’s face slowly approaches---

 Premium End // Epilogue

[cardest]

San Francisco playlist

San Francisco  - my favorite city in the world! The bands, the music, the songs are all here, in this playlist I created. I threw in a bit of Sac and went south by San Jose, Monterrey and up past Sausalito. Can we make it to 250 songs? Let me know what bands/songs I left out.

Have I left out a song or a band in this San Francisco playlist? Let me know! Cheers! 

Play the songs here at this link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1-HLG9q5rZLsqs8EYh6bhu- San Francisco

001 The Dillinger Escape Plan w/Mike Patton -  When Good Dogs Do Bad Things 002 Night flight Orchestra - California Morning 003 Quincy Jones - Call Me Mister Tibbs OST (Main Title) 004 James Taylor Quartet - Dirty Harry theme song 005 Faith No More - Seperation anxiety 006 Streets of San Francisco TV show theme song 007 Santana -  Evil Ways 008 High on Fire -  Electric Messiah 009 Metallica - Disposable Heroes 010 Hammers Of Misfortune -  Dead Revolution 011 Buddy Guy -  Hello San Francisco 012 Faith No More - Jungle 013 Isaac Hayes - Shaft 014 Orange Peels  - Back In San Francisco 015 Idris Ackamoor and the Pyramids - Message To My People 016 Thee Oh Sees - The Dream 017 Merle Haggard - Here In Frisco 018 Audrey Horne -  California 019 Journey -  Lights 020 Death Angel -  Hatred United / United Hate 021 Mel Tor Me - Got The Date On The Golden Gate 022 Duke Ellington -  Tourist Point Of View 023 Sons of Anarchy  - This Life (Sons of Anarchy Theme Song) 024 Larry Graham's Central Station - Earthquake 025 LARD - I Wanna Be A Drug Sniffing Dog 026 Machine Head -  California Bleeding 027 Neurosis -  The Doorway 028 KING WOMAN - Utopia 029 Lalo Schifrin - Magnum Force OST  Main Title 030 Forbidden -  Adapt Or Die 031 DBUK - In San Francisco Bay 032 Jack Name - Werewolf Factory 033 John Carpenter - Theme from "The Fog" 034 Khiis - Saboor 035 Richie Havens -  San Francisco Bay Blues 036 Metallica - Battery 037 Autopsy - charred remains 038 ExTREMITY_-_Crepuscular_Crescendo 039 The Otherside -  Streetcar 040 Quincy Jones - Ironside (TV Theme) 041 Megadeth -  Back in the Day 042 Sly and the Family Stone - Stand! 043 Faith No More -  From Out of Nowhere 044 Willie Hutch-Vampin (The Mack OST 045 Orchid -  Mouths Of Madness 046 Lalo Schifrin - Bullitt OST - On The Way To San Mateo 047 Vince Guaraldi - Woodstock's Dream 048 Fantomas -  4-11-05 049 Violation Wound - Fearmonger + State of Alarm 050 Primus - Those Damned Blue-Collar Tweekers 051 The Flower Pot Men - Let's Go to San Francisco (Part.1-2) 052 Bosse-de-Nage - Crux 053 Rod McKuen - The Beat Generation 054 Dionne Warwick - Do You Know The Way To San Jose 055 The Watchers - Sabbath Highway 056 Possessed - the eyes of horror 057 Scott McKenzie – San Francisco (Be Sure to wear flowers) 058 Tower Of Power -  Oakland Stroke 059 Big Trouble In Little China OST - Pork chop express 060 Vio-lence -  Calling In The Coroner 061 Black Oak Arkansas - The Big Ones Still Coming 062 Mr. Bungle - Love Is a Fist 063 VUUR -  The Fire - San Francisco 064 Testament - The Haunting 065 Electronicat - Frisco Bay 066 Y&T - Mean Streak 067 Thee Oh Sees -  Toe Cutter/Thumb Buster 068 Sweet - California Nights - Promo Clip (OFFICIAL) 069 Sadus - Swallowed In Black 070 Chuck Berry - San Francisco Dues 071 Sammy Hagar - Keep on rockin' 072 Fuzz -  Sleigh Ride 073 Otis Redding - Sittin' on The Dock of the Bay 074 Pleasure Leftits - The Gate 075 BL'AST - Sometimes 076 Santana - Samba de Sausalito 077 Acephalix - Upon This Altar 078 Sun Ra    - Lady With The Golden Stockings 079 Chris Isaak - San Francisco Days 080 Pointer Sisters - How Long (Betcha' Got A Chick On The Side) 081 High On Fire -  Carcosa 082 Will Haven -  When The Walls Close In 083 The Coup -  Laugh/Love/Fuck 084 King Khan - Teeth Are Shite 085 Deafheaven -  Irresistible 086 Glitter Wizard -  Blood of the Serpent 087 Jefferson Airplane -  It's No Secret 088 Cannonball Adderley - This Here 089 The Warlocks -  Can't Come Down 090 Squirmy Sax Man - I Still Believe 091 Acid King - Coming Down from Outer Space 092 George Duke - Sausalito 093 The Lost Boys - Cry Little Sister (Theme From The Lost Boys OST) 094 Betty Davis - [They Say I'm Different] He Was a Big Freak 095 Fever Tree - San Francisco Girls 096 The Dillinger Escape Plan w/ Mike Patton -  Pig Latin 097 Build Them to Break - Lucky Strike 098 Montrose - Rock Candy 099 PRIMUS - THE TOYS GO WINDING DOWN 100 Joe Satriani - Big Bad Moon 101 Sleater Kinney - Jumpers 102 GRUESOME - Dimensions Of Horror 103 Sly & the Family Stone - Everday People 104 Huey Lewis and the News - Back in Time 105 Hammers Of Misfortune - 2 17th Street 106 Jerry Fielding - Prologue _ Main Title (The Enforcer OST) 107 Metal Church - The Dark 108 Deftones - Ohms 109  John Lee Hooker - Frisco Blues 110 DRI - Go Die 111 16th & Valencia Roxy Music- Devendra Banhart, What We Will Be 112 MC Hammer - Too Legit to Quit 113 Dead Kennedys-Police Truck 114 Rancid - Adina 115 San Francisco's Shiver - Up My Sleeve 116 Bernard Herrmann - Vertigo OST - The Bay 117 Faith No More - Last Cup Of Sorrow 118 Blackburn & Snow -  Stranger In a Strange Land 119 The Doobie Brothers - What A Fool Believes 120 The Grateful Dead - Sugar Magnolia 121 Cab Calloway - San Francisco Fan 122 The Charlatans - codine 123 Buck Owens - Want To Live In San Francisco 124 Sleep - Dragonaut 125 Death Angel - 5 Steps Of Freedom 126 Neil Young - Heart of Gold 127 Vastum -  Reveries in Autophagia 128 Dead Kennedys -  Moon Over Marin 129 EchoBrain -  Colder World 130 Riz Ortolani    - Lombard Street   131 Waylon Jennings - San Francisco Mabel Joy   132 Con Funk Shun - Confunkshunizeya 133 Chic - Hes the Greatest Dancer 134 Peace Creep - Radio Free Alcatraz   135 ABBA - Santa Rosa 136 Brian Wilson and Van Dyke Parks - San Fransisco 137 Together Band - California Curl California Girl 138 The Hellers - It's 74 In San Francisco 139 Pat Todd - No Place Like Home 140 Nancy Wilson - I'm Always Drunk In San Francisco (And I Don't Drink At All) 141 Anathema -  San Francisco 142 Blue Cheer -  Fool 143 Exhumed - Gravewalker 144 Darondo - Let My People Go 145 Exodus -  Blood In Blood Out 146 Lalo Schifrin Dirty Harry OST - Scorpios Theme   147 Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues 148 Wild Light - California on my mid 149 Herbie Hancock - Man-child -  Hang Up Your Hang Ups 150 Fantomas -  Spider Baby 151 The Lord Weird Slough Feg -  Headhunter 152 The Animals - San Franciscan Nights 153 Twilight - Dance with Me 154 THE POINTER SISTERS - Yes We Can Can 155 Residents - Hello Skinny 156 CCR HEADCLEANER - Eat This Riff 157 LEON WARE  - Thats Why I Came To California 158 Creedence Clearwater Revival - I Put A Spell On You 159 Comorant - The First Man 160 Bosse-de-Nage  - The Trench 161 Hell Fire - Free Again   162 Riz Ortolani  - Golden Gate Bridge 163 Fleetwood Mac - You Make Loving Fun 164 Uther Pendragon - San Francisco Earthquake 165 Melvins - Zodiac 166 La Luz - California Finally 167 The Wyatt Act - Push 168 Santana - Soul Sacrifice 169 Cheap Trick - On the Radio 170 Electric Wizard -  Venus In Furs 171 Led Zeppelin -  Misty Mountain Hop 172 Tommy Castro - Callin' San Francisco 173 Viscious Rumors - Digital Dictator 174 Ghoul-Off With Their Heads 175 Diesel - Sausalito Summernight (Single Version) 176 Sheila E - A Love Bizarre 177 Starship - Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now 178 Jeffry Osboune - I Really Don't Need No Light 179 Nazareth -  Alcatraz 180 Freak of Nature - Rescue Me 181 Metallica - Crash Course In Brain Surgery 182 10000 Maniacs - Hey Jack Kerouac 183 Faith No More -  Get Out 184  URSA -  Wizard's Path 185 Jefferson Airplane - Aerie (Gang of Eagles) 186 Tower of Power - Just Enough and Too Much 187 Fred Hughes - san francisco is a lonely town 188 Mamaleek - Eating Unblessed Meat 189 Moby Grape - Naked If I Want To 190 Exodus - Metal Command 191 Pig Destroyer - Alcatraz Metaphors 192 the Donnas - You Make Me Hot 193 Hot Tuna - True Religion 194 Heathen - Opiate of the Masses 195 Fanny - Come and Hold Me 196 Sadus - Hands Of Fate 197 Negative Trend - Meathouse 198 Forbidden - Forbidden Evil 199 Spazz - Crush Kill Destroy 200 Testament - The Preacher 201 HEXX - Morbid Reality 202 Vio-Lence - Phobophobia 203 Dead Kennedys - One Way Ticket To Pluto 204 Tom Waits - Get Behind The Mule 205 CRETIN - It 206 RAMONES - Judy Is A Punk 207 Full House - Intro 208 Willie Alexander and the Boom Boom Band - Kerouac 209 Primus - Dirty Drowning Man 210 Wooden Shjips -  Motorbike 211 The Tony Williams Lifetime Ego - Clap City 212 Middle of the Road - Sacramento (A Wonderful Town) 213 Green Day - At the Library 214 Slayer -  Gemini 215 Tetema - Cutlass Eye 216 Defiance - Death Machine 217 Brisco County Jr theme 218 Doug McKechnie - Crazy Ray 219 Ulthar - Furnace Hibernation 220 Mr. Bungle -  ANARCHY UP YOUR ANUS 221 Dirty Ghosts  - Let It Pretend 222 They Might Be Giants - San Francisco (In Situ) 223 Metallica - The Shortest Straw 224 OM - Unitive Knowledge of the Godhead 225 Laaz Rockit - City's Gonna Burn 226 Autopsy - Skullptures 227 Mordred - Spectacle of Fear 228 Sly & the Family Stone - Luv N' Haight 229 Possessed - Seven Churches 230 Machine Head - The Rage to Overcome 231 Thelonius Monk - San Francisco Holiday 232 The Units - The Mission Is Bitchin 233 Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - Mistadobalina 234 Arnocorps - Dead lift 235 The Grateful Dead - The Golden Road 236 DRI - All for nothing 237 Jim Martin - Disco dust 238 Thee Oh Sees - I come from the mountain 239 Death Angel - Discontinued 240 Starship - We Built This City 241 Captured! by Robots - Endless Circle of Bullshit 242 Pins Of Light - My revenge 243 Sun Ra - We Travel the Spaceways 244 Faith No More - caffeine 245 David Lee Roth - Just like paradise 246 San Francisco Fog Horns by Golden Gate Bridge 247 Abscess - Tormented 248 Mortuous - Bitterness 249 Dead Kennedy's - California uber alles 250 Twitch Angry - San Francisco 666 Neurosis - Water Is Not Enough

So, hop on a cable car, grab ice cream at Swenson’s or bark back at the seals down by Pier 39. Catch a Bear’s game at Berkeley and do some squirmy sax moves in the Haight after you down some beers at the Toronado and play my San Fran playlist! Here are the songs in the link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1-HLG9q5rZLsqs8EYh6bhu-

[odogaronfang]

It's not really unpopular opinion but,,, Can you tell us how you characterize Green? Like headcanons and personality? (He's a bit difficult to characterize for me and he doesn't deserve to JUST be called 'The Dad Friend' like yes it's cute but more characterization pls thx)

yeah of course!! i understand that some people might have trouble with his character, since he’s very nuanced and a lot of it was more subtle in the manga!

so like i explained in that other ask, i see green as basically embodying what original link thought it meant to be a knight. vio, red and blue were pulled from more “base” personality traits- which isn’t to say that they’re any less complex, just that the basis for those pieces of link were a little different from green’s- whereas what green was pulled from was a little more aspirational, something og link wanted to be and was working towards becoming.

green has a lot of the traits that og link likely associated with being a good knight, probably because he was raised by and with knights who modeled that kind of behavior! i’m going to put it in a list format, because i think it’s easier to explain and understand that way;

-green is very determined! confident isn’t always really the right word, and there are times when he’s shown to get discouraged, but he overcomes it in the end, and while you could chalk this up to simply Being A Protagonist, i think it also reflects how he was raised! a knight could face any number of discouraging or frightening situations in their lifetime; it’s important for him to know how to acknowledge and accept the situation and then continue moving forward in spite of how he might feel about it. he’s not going to let anything get in the way of doing what’s right! (i think this also ties into how all of the links seem to be very proud, especially when they first split and all insisted they’d be fine on their own.)

-green is also very willing to rush into danger, if he thinks that it will really make a difference. og link was that way! the entire scene with the pirates at the beginning of the manga showed that! green isn’t dumb, and he isn’t going to run into a bad situation where his recklessness won’t do any good, but quick action is important in a knight’s line of work, and green is good at gauging a situation and determining what the best thing to do is. if he thinks that running in will help, then he will run in (and sometimes disregard the risk to himself in doing so). if not, he’ll do everything he can to figure out what else he can do to help!

-the whole point of being a knight is to protect people and care for them, and i think this is where people pull the Mom Friend (tm) trope from. he feels that it’s his responsibility to protect the people he loves, no matter the cost, and unfortunately there are times where he doesn’t stop to consider what HE needs while he’s so busy looking out for everyone else. being self-sacrificing is yet another trait a knight could be expected to have, and it can definitely take a toll on him, but that’s why his team is there! to take care of him too!

-the lone wolf stuff that they’re all hung up on after they first split... i think green might take it a little more seriously for a while, not because of the “main character” argument but because doing things by himself is another way of protecting people. he loves his teammates, and he doesn’t want to see them in danger- if he’s capable of doing something himself, why shouldn’t he? to him, it doesn’t make sense to risk four people where only one might suffice. again, derived from a knight strategy! you wouldn’t want to waste resources like that, especially if your team is already stretched thin (four kids vs centuries old crazy ass wizard + apocalypse pig). in his mind it isn’t about “resources,” it’s about people he cares about, but the same basic logic is applied.

so those are like... my basic bullet points on how i see green! he’s a great character and he’s full of love, and all he wants is to make sure that everyone he cares about is okay! he just needs to take a step back sometimes and realize that it isn’t selfish to let people help or to give himself space and take care of himself for a while, and that no one will think less of him for not being The Perfect Friend And Knight 100% of the time. and his team and his family are there to help him with that!

[k-odyssey]

Dramas I’ve Been Watching in January

Thoughts under the cut because I wrote a lot (pretty much spoiler-free). The first row is all dramas I started in nov/dec.

My Mister (finished)

lonely young woman in lots of debt will stop at nothing if it helps her and her grandma survive, until someone treats her with kindness.

very emotional. so much pathos that, if you’re anything like me, it will become hard to watch at times.

there’s a bit of comedy here and there, especially with the brothers, to counterbalance the darkness. plus i ended up loving the actress character.

excellent cast all around. every single character has layers (ok maybe not everyone at the office, i can think of one evil man in particular). IU shines in this. she doesn’t say a lot but she doesn’t need to.

i think it shows what being poor and isolated is really like. it’s not only that you don’t have money or connections, it’s also that you’re missing opportunities that you didn’t even know existed. simply because there was never anyone to tell you about them.

love the community aspect.

Psychopath Diary (finished)

amnesiac man becomes convinced that he is a serial killer.

possibly the weirdest kdrama I’ve ever watched.

has great comedy, somehow the silly stuff manages to coexist/blend in with much darker topics (loss of identity, mental illness, suicide, murder, etc). Yoon Shi Yoon is probably one of the reasons that it works so well. Very convincing psychopath smile.

also great ensemble cast.

my only quibble (and that could have to do with me binge-watching the first 6 ep or so) is that the “omg i’m a murderer” part of the story dragged on a bit longer than I would’ve liked.

also there is almost no romance so if that’s a prerequisite for you then you might miss it.

i love a drama title that makes sense on all levels. like, this one already worked because the diary is the most important object in the story and we learn that at the very beginning. but then the last ep added another layer and i really appreciated that.

Crash Landing on You (ongoing, 10 of 16 ep watched)

i’m not sure this drama needs any introduction at this point but

influential south korean businesswoman accidentally ends up stranded in north korea, gets rescued by handsome righteous captain Ri.

i love this drama so much. i’m not sure what they’d have to do to make me hate it. it would have to be very bad.

makes me laugh, cry, stare blankly ahead while thinking about it.

Joy of Life (29 of 46 ep watched)

21st century character is sort of reborn in what looks like ancient china, with memories from his past life intact.

could very well become my fav cdrama.

great plot, very funny, but with some emotional scenes as well.

main character has so much charisma! never ever gets boring.

cute romance, even if it’s not the main storyline.

complex and smart women. i can think of four already just off the top of my head. that’s not necessarily a feature of cdramas in my experience.

i need to catch up!

Flower Boy Next Door (finished)

ok this one is on every kdrama list ever

lonely writer meets exuberant video-game maker who helps her overcome her social anxiety, I guess.

i see why it’s a classic. i particularly liked all of the neighbours a lot.

it’s much shorter than dramas nowadays, feels like. episodes are only about 40 min long, in the 16 ep format.

i liked it fine, and i did tear up at one point (when the leads were having the big fight), but i was in no hurry to watch the last 4 ep for some reason. i didn’t find the “to go to spain or not to go to spain” bit that compelling and i’m not sure why.

Chocolate (6 of 16 ep watched)

this one is surprisingly hard to summarise.

neurosurgeon and cook who met each other as children are reunited by fate again and again, until they become a couple, i assume.

it took me 3 whole episodes to get into it. i think it’s due to the structure. there’s a number of flashbacks and then leaps in time from one point of view, then another. that just made it really hard for me to focus and care about the characters.

also when i sense a love triangle where the 2 people are decent options i tense up lol.

i really liked ep 4 to 6 though! i finally care about what’s happening.

hopefully less brain surgery from now on because i hate these close ups. i love the food though.

Eun Joo’s Room (finished)

Eun Joo quit the job she hated and she’s struggling to give her life meaning. with help from her best friend, she discovers a new talent.

this one was short and sweet (it’s only 12 ep).

very cute romance. (i don’t think it’s really a spoiler to say it’s a friends-to-lovers.)

this is a very good “i’ve had a long day and i don’t want to think too hard” drama. also a “i don’t know what i’m doing with my life pls tell me it’s gonna be ok” drama.

you might feel like picking up a brush and repainting your walls at some point. they will even explain how after the credits.

[sirenfm]

❛ ✶ ( MAIA MITCHELL, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) spotted ! LORELEI GUNTHER was spotted singing along to GHOST by AWKWAFINA in hilton grove. you’ve heard of them right ? they are a TWENTY-TWO year old MUSICIAN who has already amassed a net worth of 30M. you should really follow them on insta @STARR, they’re about to hit 6.5M followers. the tabloids have been calling them the ISOLATO because they are known for being + OBSERVANT but also a bit - RECLUSIVE. though most people recognize them by THE RINGS OF SATURN, THE DIZZYING NEON OF THE DANCE FLOOR, SILVER STITCHED INTO WEIGHTLESS CHIFFON & BEING A SUPERNOVA SO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE FORGET YOU’RE A DYING STAR. — ooc info (alys. 22. est. she/her.)

hellooo!!!! woke up this morning to see hilton will probably be opening today so i realized i better write my intro. i’m ally, i have Depression and too much time on my hands, and those are two things i have in common with my muse, lorrie!!!!! she’s like a hannah montana/lady gaga type pop star. pls like this post for me to hyu on discord !! 

(cc/vc: lorde) 

background. (tl;dr at bottom)  

born to a lower class family in boston, ma, into the gunther name which were once great musicians back in austria. her father took this very seriously and so named her brothers after composers (johann and wolfgang) and herself after the siren of the rhine. 

he wanted very badly for them to be successful in music and in life, so lorrie had a lot of pressure from the outset. also, her parents went through a very messy divorce early in life.

she developed severe anxiety by the time she was in first grade, and was diagnosed selectively mute. the only people she would talk to for years were her brother wolfy, and her oma, who lived with them. 

did manage to get some treatment and eventually recovered, mostly thanks to her oma, who taught her how to express herself, mostly through music. 

her oma died two years later, when lorrie was thirteen. since then, she’s basically had a mental breakdown every three months at least. 

even then, she dedicated herself to her music, even though her father had long since given up on her. but johann, while diligent, proved not to have the passion required, while wolfy, who had the passion, refused to be diligent, and eventually left the family on bad terms. 

lorrie also, strangely, found some confidence in drama class; it was easier to be someone she wasn’t than the person she was. after her first time onstage without bursting into tears, her friends convinced her to try out for the school talent show, knowing she was a singer-songwriter. 

she managed to get through her audition, but at the actual show? she froze. she couldn’t stand to be herself in front of everyone. 

slowly, she realized she could be somebody else. a few months later during a sleepless night, the kind where she’d usually cut her hair or redecorate her entire room, she went to the local walmart and bought every glittery thing she could find. she wouldn’t sing as herself, she’d sing as someone else, even write as someone else.  

and when one of her classmates had a filmography project and wanted to do a music video, the fifteen year old lorrie offered her song. 

that video was called starr - “royals”, and within a few days of it being uploaded, it went viral. 

it wasn’t until a universal rep knocked on the gunthers’ door that lorries father even acknowledged her success. and acknowledge it, he did. 

lorrie hated how affectionate her father had become all of a sudden, but someone had to accompany her to los angeles to record her ep. 

she hated los angeles, not only for what it did to her father, but what it did to herself, too. starr was how she presented herself to the public, she became the crutch lorrie used to get through these schmoozing conversations. where lorrie was awkward and nervous, starr was graceful, mysterious, intriguing. 

also, drugs. way too many drugs. 

by the time her first album went platinum, she realized that her father was wasting her money on all kinds of things. they had a blowout fight one night and, even though she was only seventeen, she emancipated herself and locked her father out of all of the accounts. she also left la. 

(this is probably around the time she started dating her melodrama ex, after she left la). 

after her second album, she settled in hilton grove because it was quiet, far from california, and a place where nobody batted an eye at a famous figure, let alone a famous figure out of costume. 

tl;dr heiress to a musical legacy overcomes social anxiety via faking until making, goes viral, becomes a teenage pop star, sues own father for control of her estate, leaves la and tries to remember how to be herself.

personality. 

shes…. aloof. reclusive. a bit of a weirdo. she either doesn’t want to talk to you or, if you’re close to her or catch her in the right mood, she will literally talk your ear off.

doesn’t really ever access her emotions, or at least doesn’t acknowledge them.

she really is a whole mess. all of her songwriting is done during white nights of random inspiration.

she’s better when she has, like, a schedule, but she’s still kind of a mess its a thing.

loves conspiracy theories will talk about them forever. also big into astrology and divination.

aquarius sun scorpio moon pisces rising so like………… she has no chill

an excellent mimic but out of character her voice is very monotone and flat, doesn’t really smile all that much. shes probably a robot.

so sarcastic someone tell her to shut the fuck up

queer as hell

moves like an mf cat. can very easily sneak up on you. someone get her a fucking bell

she went to rehab on the deep deep dl and now really only smokes weed and drinks socially. its one of her proudest accomplishments.

definitely moving away from the starr character as she gains more confidence in herself. also finds it stunting her musical growth.

kind of terrified to love because it means being Known.

her finsta/private insta is @lorilies 

also she has bleached blonde hair but i’ll be using brunette maia for like gif icons and snap icons bc there’s. not enough blonde maia pics.

you know ya girl included some tik toks for lorrie

her default when alone in her house

she cute when she’s high as a kite

her manager won’t let her have a tik tok bc she’s do shit like this

her philosophy, nay, her religion

wanted connections. 

ex-lover. yknow the one she wrote melodrama about. she’s highkey clingy and bad in relationships So. open to all genders. (1/1) 

best friend.  self explanatory; there through thick and thin. (1/1)

enemy. a rival artist? a neighbor with high standards? idk lets get creative lets get spicy (0/3)

confidante. tells them things she doesn’t like to admit. bonus if they will smoke weed with her (0/1)

good influence. someone help her get her life together (0/1)

bad influence. she used to be a party girl, so. its not Hard. (0/1) 

flirtationship. a general will they won’t they; i need some romance y'all. (0/1?)

pls anything talk to me i’m so lonely 

[givemebtscenarios]

Phone Call-Jinyoung(M)

Request: got7 jinyoung smut pls!

Words: 1,556

The days were lonely and the nights were cold without Jinyoung next to you in bed. The group had been on tour for almost three months now, and every day passed by slower than the one before. You craved his touch, his smell, his smile, his everything. Everything about him just made you feel safe and secure. Without him there, you felt bare, and alone. You'd never voice this to him, of course. You weren't going to make him feel bad for doing his job. And you knew what you were getting into when you agreed to date him.

There were still times where you had thought about calling him, just to see what he was doing, before reminding yourself that because of the time difference, they could be in the middle of a show. You placed your phone back down on the bed for what felt like the millionth time, sighing as you gave up hope of talking to him before you went to bed. He tried his best to keep in touch with you whenever he could. He'd text you while getting his hair and makeup done, while he was riding in the car to get to the venue, or texting you all day when they had a random free day to do what they wanted.

But even then, it was short because they used that time to catch up on sleep they couldn't get while preparing for the show the next day. You weren't angry or disappointed in him, you were just....lonely. That's the only word that could describe it. You were lonely. You trained your eyes on the ceiling once again, hoping sleep would overcome you so you could hopefully wake up to a text from him the next morning.

You shut your eyes, trying to turn your brain off, when you felt your phone vibrate against the sheets beside you. You turned over, grabbing your phone and lighting up the screen, a grin stretching across your face when you saw it was Jinyoung.

Jinyoung: Are you still awake?

You: Yeah, I'm laying in bed.

Jinyoung: Do you have anyone staying the night with you tonight?

You furrowed your eyebrows. Why would he ask if anyone was staying with you. If someone had started a cheating rumor about you, you were going to go insane.

You: No? I'm alone; why?

You didn't get a text back; instead, you got a call. You swiped your thumb before bringing the phone up to your ear.

"Hey, why'd you ask that?" you asked.

"I just needed to make sure, I don't want you to start something if you can't finish." you heard him say in pants, and you knew what he was doing.

Your whole body turned hot, a blush spreading from your forehead to your toes. It was really rare Jinyoung called you for moments like this; normally he just asked for pictures and did the job himself.

"Trust me, I can finish." you said, your hand already descending into your shorts.

Jinyoung let out a soft moan, a hiss coming from between his teeth.

"Turn your camera on. Video chat with me." he demanded, and you did as you were told.  

You held the camera out beside you, making sure you got your whole body in the frame. When you looked at your phone, your eyes landed on him with his lip between his teeth, and you could see his arm moving up and down.

"Take your shorts off. Let me see that pussy."

So we're in that kind of sexual mood tonight. You slid your shorts off, him already knowing you didn't wear panties to bed. You laid back down, propping the phone up at the end of the bed so he could get a clear view of you laid out. You shrugged your shirt off, not needing to be told.

"Fuck, you look so fucking wet. All that just from my voice?" he asked.

You mewled an answer, your hands cupping and squeezing your breasts as your hips rolled. He groaned, and you heard his hand start jerking himself quicker.

"Touch yourself. Make yourself cum, baby." he ordered.  

Your hands trailed down your body, teasing both you and him. You let two of your fingers spread yourself open, and you thought Jinyoung was going to cum on the spot. He sat his phone on the table, getting his entire body into view. His thighs clenched and unclenched as he jerked himself off. His abs prominent as he went faster, just to slow down a second later.

"Rub your clit. Pretend it's my tongue. Don't hold back, either."

You let two of your fingers dip inside you briefly to collect your juices before running them back up, letting them run across your clit, a loud moan erupting you. Your back arched as pleasure coursed through your body.

"Just like that, baby, keep going." you heard Jinyoung demand and you took your fingers back down to your clit.

"Faster. Rub your clit faster, I want you to cum for me."

A whine escaped your throat as you moved your fingers faster, imagining they were his tongue. The way he moved his tongue against your pussy was always mind blowing. He knew where to lick, where to suck, and when to add fingers into it.

"Add two fingers. Finger yourself just like I do."

You quickly slide two fingers inside yourself, a loud moan coming from between your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. You heard his groans coming from in front of you, and you knew he was working himself faster.

"Sit up. I want to see those tits." he said, his voice low and hoarse. You sat up, your back against the headboard. 

You continued the assault on your pussy, your fingers sliding in and out at a fast pace, and you felt the coil in your stomach start to tighten.

"Jinyoung, I'm close." you whimpered, rolling your hips against your own hand.

"Cum. Fucking cum for me, please. Let me see you gush around your fingers." he moaned, his head thrown back as he teased the head of his cock, running a fingers up and down the underside of his tip. 

You watched as his cock jumped every time he ran over a sensitive spot and heard the hiss that came from between his teeth before he let out a groan.

You threw your head back, the pleasure becoming almost too much and you rolled your hips quicker, sinking your fingers in deeper. You brought your other hand up to let your fingers rub at your clit.

"Fuck. Fuck yes, Jinyoung."

A loud cry of his name came from your lips as you felt yourself let go. Your toes curled and your body jerked as you came, your eyes squeezed shut and you felt your juices run over your fingers and onto the bed.  

Seeing your breasts bounce as your body jerked and how much came out of you when you came tipped him over the edge and he jerked his hips up, fucking his hand as he tried to hold back his loud moans as he came over his hand. His neck and chest was red, his lip between his teeth, and his eyebrows furrowed. He couldn't help but let the last moan fall from him, a moan of your name ringing out in the room.

You slowly slid your fingers out of yourself, wincing from sensitivity. Your breath was labored as you tried to calm down, your toes uncurling and your body relaxing back into the bed. You looked forward to see Jinyoung cleaning up his hand, throwing the tissues into the trash can beside him. He tucked himself back into his underwear, sighing as he looked back at you.

"Please cover up unless you're going to want to go again." he said, a small smile on his face.

You quickly covered up, pulling your shirt back over your head and covering your lower body with the blanket.

"What brought that on?" you asked.

He shrugged and smiled.

"I don't know; I just got to thinking about you and I couldn't get myself there."

"Well, I'm glad you called, I was thinking about you, too."

"Dirty things or non dirty things?" he asked with a wink.

You chuckled and shook your head.

"Non dirty. Just how much I miss you and wanted you here so I could go to sleep." you admitted, looking down at the bed.

"I miss you, too. I'll be home soon. Only two more weeks and then I'm all yours for about a month. We're going on a small break after the tour."

You nodded and smiled at him when he ordered you to look at him.

"I love you. You need to go to sleep; I know it's late over there."

"Yeah, it is. I'll try to go to sleep. I don't think I'll have any problems now." you said with a laugh.

The two of you told each other goodnight and you ended the call, laying back down with the thought that, like he said, there were only two weeks left of the tour and then he belonged to you until they started getting ready for the next comeback. With that thought, you easily fell asleep with a smile on your face.

[penumbral-phantasm]

PL Fic

Once in a blue moon, I write fic. 

Title: Professor Layton and the Common Cold

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Just platonic Layton & Luke bonding ft. my love for Clark and Brenda’s relationship

Characters: Hershel Layton, Luke Triton, Emmy Altava, Clark Triton, Brenda Triton

Words: 1781

Summary: Luke gets sick, as kids often do, and is comforted by the professor.

Luke was cleaning the professor’s office when he started to feel an uncomfortable itch in the back of his throat. He tried to ignore it as he rearranged books on archeology, the same way he had ignored the fatigue he woke up with that morning. They were all familiar symptoms of a common cold, but if he denied it maybe it would just stop. He didn’t have time to be sick! Between school, adjusting to London, and being the professor’s newly appointed (read: self-proclaimed) apprentice, there just simply wasn’t a moment to waste. The cold would have to wait.

The door opened behind him and he turned to see Emmy. “Oh!” She said, caught off guard by his presence. “Hello, Luke. I thought you would be at school.”

“It’s Saturday,” he answered.

“So it is. You’re really taking this apprentice thing seriously, aren’t you?”

She was smiling at him in a way he was becoming familiar with. More of a cat-ish smirk than anything. “Of course I am! Besides,” he looked around. “The professor could use the extra hand.”

“Certainly not arguing there. Now, I’m headed home. Do you want me to take you back, too?”

“So early? It’s barely past noon. Where’s the professor?”

“He has one more lecture left, but it’ll be over soon, and he let me out early. Are you sure you don’t want to go home?” She looked at the pile of books he had been messing around with. “Or an extra helper?”

“I can handle it. Thanks anyways.”

She hesitated before giving a shrug. “Alright, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She closed the door on her way out.

There were still plenty of things left to organize. He had already separated books by genre, but should he split that alphabetically? He would have to ask the professor what he prefered when he got back. The fatigue was really starting to set in now, as was that uncomfortable sore throat. Tea seemed like too much effort, and he wasn’t as big a fan anyway, so he sat himself down on the couch to catch his breath.

He looked at what he accomplished so far. He didn’t even like cleaning up, but when he first walked into the office he had been overwhelmed by how chaotic it was. It was the last thing he expected from a refined gentleman like Professor Layton. Now, it was manageable, but the professor was always adding something new. It reminded him of the odds and ends his mother would bring home on occasion.

The couch was much more comfortable than he remembered. He didn’t know when the professor’s lecture would end, and he had done a fair amount of cleaning. He would close his eyes for a little bit, that’s all, and hopefully wake with the fatigue and sore throat gone. He could at least count on the professor to come and wake him when he was done.

When Luke did wake up, he felt worse than before. The fatigue converted into a pounding headache and swallowing was painful. He was reluctant to open his eyes and worsen the headache, but there was something heavy sitting over him that hadn't been there before. He looked down to see a black coat over him. In his sleep, he had nestled up in a corner of the couch, and the coat had been put over him like a blanket. The noon light had converted to sunset, basking the office in a warm orange glow.

He blinked a few times. This was the professor’s coat. He turned to see the professor was at his desk, looking at fossils no doubt, and wearing his orange shirt. It looked odd. He wasn’t used to seeing him without the coat.

The professor heard his rustling and faced him with a smile. “Ah, glad to see you awake, Luke. I was going to wake you earlier, but you looked rather comfortable so I didn’t want to bother you.”

He opened his mouth to tell him that was fine, but all that came out was a croak. This sore throat was really getting to him!

“Are you quite alright, my boy?” He got up from his desk and kneeled in front of him, concern flooding his expression.

Luke rubbed his eyes. “Just tired,” he said once he was sure he could gain control of his voice. It did nothing to stave the professor’s worry. “Really, I’m fine. What’re you working on?”

“You look unwell,” he said, ignoring his question. He reached out and put his hand to Luke’s forehead, coming away with a disappointed sigh. “You have a fever. If I had known you were sick, I would have sent you home with Emmy.”

Luke shrugged. “It’s not that bad. I don’t have to go home yet, do I?” He didn’t mean to sound so sad, but his weak voice and blurry eyes seemed to soften the professor’s face.

He sighed again. “I can make you some tea to see if that helps. Is your throat bothering you as well?”

“A bit.”

He set to work on the tea set he always kept in his office. Already, Luke was drifting back off to sleep, but resisted. If he fell asleep again, he would definitely be whisked home, and he still wanted to stay.

The professor returned with a piping hot cup and took a seat next to him. Luke sat up, the coat falling off of him, and accepted it. He ignored that his hands were a little shaky and sipped. It was sweetened with honey just to his like and instantly soothed his aching throat.

He smiled. “Thank you, professor.”

“I’m always here to help, but you should have said something earlier. I know Emmy stopped by the office.”

“I wasn’t feeling all that bad,” he said. “Just a little tired. I’m sorry if I stopped you from working.”

“Actually,” he looked to the table in front of the couch. Luke had left the books he was stacking there, and the professor picked one off the top. “It’s a good thing you did. I need to reread this for tomorrow’s lecture and I would have neglected to do so had I kept working on the fossil.”

He sipped his tea and moved closer to the professor to read over his shoulder, his cheek pressing against him. “It’s more archeology, right? I was going to organize it alphabetically but…”

“That’s alright, my boy. You can focus on all that when you’re feeling better.” He opened the book. “When you’re up for it, I’ll take you home.”

Luke nodded, not wanting to irritate his throat anymore. He placed his cup of tea on the table, but was quick to nestle back up against the professor and wrap the coat around himself. Despite the warm drink, he was shivering.

“Luke, if you want to leave now-” He grumbled in response. The professor chuckled. “I’ll let that pass, seeing as you’re not in prime condition.” Luke nodded again, his hat sliding off his head. The professor slipped it off and placed it on the table. They settled into a comfortable silence, his eyes growing heavy all the while. He couldn’t claim he was comfortable, he was still sick, but he did feel safe and cozy in this office. There was something emotional about the silence, tucked close and with the professor’s arm wrapped around him.

He wondered what was happening back at Misthallery. He had been gone for a month already. How was Arianna fairing? And Tony? Was Crow still up to his antics? Some days he still couldn’t believe his six month nightmare was over. The lonely nights spent wondering where his mother was and harboring anger at his father were gone, washed away in a few short days by the professor. His thankfulness knew no bounds, and in his fevery haze he was overcome with emotion about it all.

“Professor?”

“What is it, Luke?”

“Thank you,” he managed. The professor said nothing, only rubbing calming circles on his back. He buried his face in his shirt and closed his eyes, losing his fight against sleep.

The doorbell rang, and seeing as Brenda was busy fussing over Luke, that left Clark to put down his morning paper and answer. Standing there was a familiar face coupled with a familiar top hat.

“Ah, Hershel! What brings you here this fine morning?” He backed out of the doorway to let his friend inside.

“Good morning, Clark. I came to say hello and see how Luke was doing.”

“He’s improved since you brought him. Come,” Clark closed the front door, “I’ll bring you to his room. Seeing you ought to raise his spirits. He hates being trapped indoors, even if he is sick.”

Luke was resting in his bed, Brenda at his side. He looked pale and tired, but his eyes lit up when he saw Hershel. He had looked much worse when Hershel pulled up in his junky little car two nights ago. He was barely awake, wrapped up in the professor’s coat, and sweating from a harsh fever. He knew his old friend long enough to recognize the worry in his expression, but colds were nothing to stress about. He had probably just picked it up from school.

“Hello, Professor!” Luke greeted him with cheer, but his voice was hoarse and nearly gone.

“Hello Luke, Brenda. It’s nice to see you looking better, my boy.”

“How are things at Gressenheller?”

“Functioning, though Emmy misses you and sends her regards.”

“More like she misses teasing me.” Luke smiled. “I’ll be back soon!”

Hershel chuckled. “We’re looking forward to it.”

“Do you have any puzzles for me?”

“Actually,” there was a small sniffle, “That’s why I came. I knew you might be a little bored on your road to recovery.”

“Hershel,” Brenda said, interrupting his impending puzzle. “Was that a sniffle?”

“Are you feeling alright, old bean?” Clark asked.

“Oh, I’m fine, I’m sure it’s just allergies or the like.”

“Oh no!” Luke exclaimed, his little voice cracking. “Did I get you sick, Professor?”

“I assure you all, I am not ill.”

Brenda crossed her arms. “Not that you were ever one to admit to being sick in the first place.”

He mimicked her position. “I’m not trying to incite worry. You have your hands full with Luke. But I’ll take today easy.”

“I trust your spunky assistant won’t let you exert yourself,” said Clark.

“I can’t believe I got you sick,” murmured Luke.

“It’s alright, Luke.”

But a few days later, Clark was hearing from his son how Hershel was sick with a fever and sore throat, and the role of caretaking quickly reversed.