#pls don’t come after me for saying their an industry plant

[couldyouforgivemeforthatpain]

idc if the last dinner party is an industry plant, nothing matters is soooo Fabian Prewett core

[dylanxmin]

nobody does it like you do∣ k.nj

this work made for valentine’s day and there is a masterlist where a couple of writers came together to write for the sprit of the valentin’s day. please check the masterlist, and give lots of love to each work !  ♡ ♡

bangtan pastries ; valentine’s mlist

you didn’t fall in love with kim namjoon at the first sight, or he didn’t look anything sweet in the metal cage, but out of the ring, he was the sweetest, kindest one you can meet. Day by day, you fell in love and after two years, he decided to be the cheesy lover. 

OR to cringe you in and out on the valentine days.

pairing; fighter!namjoon x female!reader

genre; cheesy romance, smut, light angst(very very light dark atmosphere,oops:), established relationship, valentine au, pwp?,,

rating; m +18

warnings; mention of blood(as nj is a fighter:), mention of sex, kinda toxic but not toxic relationship(they just way too in love:), cage fighting, mention of yoonmin(and they have daddy issues:), mention of crossdressing, namjoon is totally an exhibitionist(but not gonna happen), a couple of curse words, Valentine's Day cliches(of course, duhh!), master - pet kink, bdsm motives, bondage, shibari(?), dom namjoon, sub reader, oral (f), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, spanking, begging, dirty talk, pain kink, humiliation kink, degradation, choking, biting, marking, hair pulling, rough sex, messy sex, unprotected sex(u know what not to do:), ig reader has a thing for namjoon’s hands but yeah,,,

word count; 11.4k 

a/n; heyyy, happy late valentine’s???,,, well, i have lots of complicated thoughts on this one ‘cuz my mind and my muse had a big fight on this fic. One of them wanted it to be very, very dark while the other decide it would be too much(you should guess which one wanted it to be dark and which didn’t)... so ion know if this come out as dark or light? maybe in between? hopefully? Plus, smut took me ages to write, as it clear, I can’t write smut now. Yeah, tea is out ! lol. a n y w a y s.... hope you will enjoy reading it? PLS mind the warnings guys, ion want you to feel uncomfortable,, soo, enjoy it xx  ♡

             ‘‘Listen to your heart when he's calling for you

                 Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do’’

The question starts with a wrong turn at the top. Not ‘why?’. It should be ‘how?’. Would be more fitting, more understandable. 

How did you fall in love with him? 

Yes, you. How exactly did you fall in love with the man you called the love of your life?

Because he was a fine looking man? He was tall? Got a sense of fashion? He was hot, maybe? 

No. You fall in love because he has everything you want. Everything you need. And also more. Even more. 

It was the way the dark pupils lost behind the curl of his eyelids in a good laugh. Sugar skin dips down to force out the cute little holes, the dimples. Or the apricots, you called them mostly. 

Maybe you fell in love because you were jealous of the way he loved, cared for his plants and simply wanted to take their place in his heart. Or, he was so caring that he could still love watering his plants, talking to them while loving you crazy. Sending you to the moon before you can understand the lackness of your weights, the easiness of your heart, he would take you back. Land you gently as ever.  

Not knowing for sure, but you may also have fallen in love with him when he rented the second bike for you, so you could go to the mountains with him. Or when he had read the book you mention out of the context, without even paying attention that you couldn’t even remember when he said he read it in three days. 

Maybe it had happened because he gave you a soda when he took it for himself, or the one time he had chosen to stay with you rather than going out with his friend because you weren’t feeling well enough. Maybe-

When the killer hands for his opponent tangled above your skin so carefully that it felt like a feather, it may be the reason. The same hands that bloomed scarlet stains bake the most beautiful, heavenly pastries for you to lose in the taste, you may or may not fall in love. 

But-

You could say countless examples and it wouldn’t be enough as it didn’t happen in one night, or because of a thing. Just simply as ever, you, fell in love with the most dangerous - as well as the softest - man in Korea. 

The ruthless, mellow, the raptorial, thoughtful, destructive fighter one can ever see in a lifetime. 

Brightest man in the fighting industry. The idol of the young ones. 

The Chopper. 

Your lover. Everything you want. And more. 

Kim Namjoon. 

The darkest night and the brightest star at the same time. Every nightmare, every heavenly dream he was able to be at the same time but now, inside the metal cage, he chose to be the first one. To be his opponent’s nightmare as the constant strikes didn’t stop, continued to smash on the skin of the man who was looking almost at the same age as your lover, something was cracking. 

Stage surrounded by the crowd, acclaimings, a chain of the name of your lover’s attached to the lips of the audience, he was feeding by it. As it was obvious by the curl of his mouth, back muscles going lack and strains again with every syllable of his name. 

Opposite to the others, you were silent. Tongue-tied, mostly. 

Not because you are afraid of the crimson on his hand, or the light of something inhuman deep inside of his eyes. You were muted against the glory he held around himself. The way he owned everything and everyone in there, you as well. Sun-kissed skin glowing with victory sweats, and more, the bell ringed. 

Once, twice, and three times. 

Bell of the Chopper’s victory call. And everyone going crazy behind you, beside you, in front of you, you continued to watch your lover. Muted. Frozen. Swollen with pride. Couldn’t even take your phone to stick this moment into eternity, even though you want to have this moment in your pocket. Your lover’s arm on the air, fist tight enough to break a neck, smile of his proud beamed on his face. Daunting glares melt the moment they land on yours, melting into something you may call affection. 

Maybe a bit of bashfulness, as well. 

But then, the familiar sweet apricots come to light, and the ice that holds you still breaks into million pieces. And you smile back, eyes heavy with unshed tears. Chest fluttering as the effect of seeing his dimples never, ever fades away. Starting to clap one palm to the other, ease takes over. Relief gives your air back in your lungs after you realize there is nothing to be afraid of. He, your lover, the Chopper, Kim Namjoon won the fight and he is safe now. There is no harm he could get. 

So, that means you can turn your back, and leave the crowd behind to wait for him in the locker room for him to get done with all the things he has to. Such as taking photos, talking with his boss, and filling his pocket with money. Shortly, the thing you don’t want to be included, so you pushed the iron door to get inside the to-be-empty room but clearly it wasn’t and you stop at the entrance like a deer in the headlights. 

Obviously, you weren’t expecting two shirtless men to eat each other’s face, but the loud thug of the door broke their sessions while two pairs of eyes turned over you. Shallow breaths, pink glowing cheeks, you must say that they looked adorable. 

‘‘Happy Valentine’s Day, I guess?’’ biting your lips to prevent any sort of voice from coming out, the face eaters’ smiles burned bright, like the pink horizon on their cheeks. One of them waved at you from afar, and you returned the act.  

The one with mint neon hair sat on the bench, brushing his hair back before greeting you. ‘‘I assume Namjoon won as you are not crying or screaming your lungs out?’’ 

‘‘Maybe you can be a little lighter than that, hyung.’’ even though the other tried to hide away the bluntless of the older, you snorted. He didn’t say anything wrong, though. 

Waving a hand, you open the locker of Namjoon to get his things to leave here quicker. ‘‘It’s okay Jimin-ah. I know Yoongi enough not to be bothered by him, and he is kinda right. I did cry and scream a lot when Namjoon lost a fight, so..’’ your smile and shake of your shoulder gave the younger boy relief as he moved further to settle beside you. Eyes beaming bright, he was up to say something. 

Probably something he shouldn’t. 

‘‘You gonna beat his ass, don’t you?’’ to-be whisper words coming out of the orange haired boy right beside, the older’s scoff towered behind you two. ‘‘As he took you to his match on Valentine’s Day. You must be angry.’’ 

Placing the big bag on the bench, beside Yoongi, you shake your head with a smile stuck on your mouth. While placing the cloths and couple of wires in the bag, you began. ‘‘Well, this is not the best way to be in on such a day but I’m not mad. I would be if he hadn’t won the match, but I’m not right now. Plus, are you mad at him because he took you to his match?’’ 

Before answering, Jimin leaned and put a not so light kiss to his boyfriend’s lip. Or his kinda boyfriend’s lips? You didn’t know, they were kind of weird about the whole relationship thing they had. For the last two years of your life, they were in an on-again, off-again relationship and this mainly caused Yoongi's fear of coming out by his closet. The very oh so famous businessman father of course wouldn’t let his son go all around the city with a man who had the most beautiful face that his highly known friends could see around his son’s arms, and god forbid Jimin sometimes wears so mini shorts and skirts that could get the said man have ultimate heart attacks. Mr. Min’s fear was probably beyond what you could think, and that’s why Yoongi never was able to come out and act the way his heart wanted. His father holds so much power in his palms. And Jimin sometimes was okay with this, and sometimes it was the opposite. So that’s why you weren’t so sure if this was a relationship right now. It was something, something cute, funny, deadly and very, very destructive. But something. 

‘‘He’ll watch mine after his so, it’s okay.’’ his giggle alarming yours, you both voiced out soft laughs to the air of the room. After a couple of words exchanging, the iron door opened without a crack or a force like it weighing nothing, and you know, who was behind it. And the idea flapped your stomach before even seeing his face. Even after two years, you still haven’t built up immunity to seeing him with bruises. 

Probably he had very few, but still. It played with your stomach. 

Though, it wasn’t easier being far away from him only to not see his bruises, marks that were left behind after the momentarily act of violence. The need was immediate after the ring bell. The need where you only want to hold him between your arms, protect him as much as you can from any kind of danger, and even though you weren’t built for that, he would let you to cover him for protection. Let you play your little game in your mind if that means you were happy. But the cruel pain would still affect you as seeing his skin blooming purples and reds never been an easy thing. Of course, only on him. 

Of course, the man that you had no idea about the name he had or the age he’s in, didn’t bother you. Not in the past, or the moments ago. It only fascinated you. A grand sample of the power Kim Namjoon has had in him. A staggering but not a bad reminder of your lover’s impact. 

‘‘Ready to see me, Moonlight?’’ the honey sound coming from deep in his throat, it’s enough to shake your breath. Torturing the skin above your bottom lip, you made the choice of turning your face to him, and the ache was rapid to crawl and sit heavy on your chest. 

He opened his arms to guard you from the acidic pain you will have all around your skin, you run right into the giant embrace. But, acid still manages to boil the poor skin. Whether in his embrace or not. It was just a tiny bit more comfortable way to burn in agony. Even though knowing the man who lost the fight was probably too damaged to get another strike, you just wanted to land a punch to his rival. 

Again, again, again, again, and yes, again-

‘‘Shh… you know I’m okay, right? I won. We won, Moonlight. Look at me.’’ swelled fingers lifting the chin, glossy eyes reflected from his. Every muscle working so hard not to cry, almost purple ish, slightly open wound on the corner of his lips didn’t help much. Cheekbone throbbing below the fingertips you covered on his face, you stand on your fingertips to smack a kiss. No word would be enough for you to soothe you both, more likely yourself. 

Or maybe, your voice would crack so hard that you wouldn’t be able to hold the persistent tears anymore and would cry out loud. Which you weren’t sure if that was a bad thing. 

‘‘Does… Does it hurt?’’ voice coming out raucously, you sniffed. Croons of his pupils curl so caringly as Namjoon’s heart is way too soft for your red buttoned nose. Too much for the image he holds. Smile creeping up with a morning sun swiftness, the warmness it spread is fast. Almost sweet as the first light of the first summer day, it heals you from inside a bit. Then, Namjoon shakes his head, leans a bit to capture you in a world lifting kiss like there is no one. Open-mouthed, saliva mixing under the sweet taste, your heart purrs as you receive the source of your addiction. His kiss, and the chubby lips were indeed addicting. 

Behind the fake coughs, you pull away as the last piece of air left your lungs. Space full of loud panting, staring continued. 

‘‘You see, I am great. Nothing hurts, unless you start to cry and leave me aching.’’ snort drawn out by you, Namjoon frowns as he is offended. You open your mouth to say something, but the older of the room forestalls. 

‘‘Okay, love birds. Shall we give you some privacy or can you lead this sticky sickness somewhere else?’’ Both of you focus on the man who speaks by turning your heads at him. He still stands half naked in the room, his body looks a bit red as he warmed his muscles before his fight. And they still hang broad and visible. 

But the reply won’t come from you or Namjoon-

‘‘Sickness? You were humping my leg minutes ago.’’ Jimin spats, vein throbbing ferociously on the side of his neck. 

‘‘That was different, they-’’ 

‘‘Different my ass!’’ orange hair sways from one way to the other, Jimin knits his brow. ‘‘You are only disgusted because they are in a committed relationship and your feckless ass can’t do that.’’ 

The mood change was so sudden that the smile on the corner of your lips faded so late. No one, especially Yoongi wasn’t waiting for this as his mouth parts, voiced breath drawn out. He just blinks and watches as Jimin throws a tee over his naked body, and furiously leaves the room by your side as murmuring a faint ‘sorry’. It has Yoongi stand stock-still for a couple of minutes before he goes after Jimin, running and yelling his name. 

As you said before, they were something. Something your mind couldn’t catch the mood swings. Happy for one minute, a total disaster the next. 

‘‘He’s gonna have his ass sore in the night.’’ against Namjoon’s bluntless, you punch his shoulder out of reflex. And he laughs. 

‘‘Okay, okay. Not saying anything.’’ his hand hangs on the air, a dark shade washes over his eyes as his smile turns wicked from sweet. And you know what just possessed him. Both because the familiar smirk, and being captured between him and the cold lockers. ‘‘Or, would you want your ass sore instead?’’ 

His light brown locks messed with the darker ones, forehead covered by a couple of them, he hovered over you. Breath hitching around the throat, him jamming you to the locked with his huge, muscled fighter body has you warm. A little bit too hot as you gulp loudly, nasty grin grows more. And you want it. Want him to smash you right on the cold metal and make you sore everywhere but someone could walk in. Just the same as you did to your friends. 

‘‘What’s wrong, Moonlight? Don’t you want to celebrate?’’ index finger on your cheek wondrously shakes you inside and out. Each draw of the slender skin has you gasping because that’s all you can over him. ‘‘Not so happy over our win?’’ 

A smile comes out in your breath, you shake your head while his leg finds a way between your legs. ‘‘Not- not because of that. Someone… someone might come-’’ 

‘‘And that would be a bad thing?’’ 

Lips parts, closes and parts again. Brush of his fat thigh on your skin feels too much, you blurt out a moan before you get your head together. The moment you saw him without any cover over his upper half on the cage, you wanted to have his way with you. The need was burning by the start of the night, every punch, every loud growl had been making it grow bigger and bigger and you were pulsing on the down below. If he had his way with you, you could even forget the fact that he had a fight on Valentine’s Day, but the side of your brain, the consciousness place was screaming otherwise. Not that you ever listened to it.  

Namjoon kissed again. 

It was only understandable of you to give in. As he is the Kim Namjoon, the one who knew so well about taking whatever he wanted. It didn’t matter if it’s a fight, a place he wanted to get in, or you. He will get whatever he wants, and whenever. The taste on his tongue dancing sweet and thick down yours, you’d gladly stand defenceless. What can one do? He wanted it, and he got it. 

Kiss longs enough to choke you both, though he looks way unfazed comparing you, it broke apart. ‘‘This- this is not how I imagined spending Valentine’s with you.’’ chest heaving, you put your hands on his broad chest in case he tries to lean in. Not that it’ll affect him much, but… 

Namjoon’s brow knits while the ghost of his smirk wanders wide around his mouth. ‘‘Exactly. We need to do it, it’s Valentine’s Day-’’ he exclaims but you cut him immediately. 

‘‘Not in an ugly basement of some cage fighting thing going on!’’ 

He rolls his eyes with curled lips. ‘‘Like it would be the first time.’’ and you punch him this time. Hard enough to hurt because he deserved it. He laughs, claiming it’s only a joke and lands another but quick kiss. ‘‘Let me get clean and we can get out of here, okay? I may or may not have some plans.’’ then he won’t speak for feeling like eternity to you. No matter how many times you ask or whine what his plans are, he continues to hum the same song. He showers, the same hum on his lips, he changes into clean clothes while it still lingers. 

It is true that waiting sucks. It even more when the man you love so much keeps you waiting. You play with your phone until he is done with whatever he is doing, give some breaks only to huff and puff occasionally as both missing and curiosity fills too much of you. You know it’s not much as you both don’t like to be so fancy over anything, and don’t have so much to spend too. But whatever it is, it’ll make you so happy and thrilled because spending time with him always has you ecstatic. You were ecstatic the first time you saw him and have been till today. 

All the previous protests you held against your friend’s request of going to a cage fighting night had died the moment your eyes landed on him. Opposite to what Jungkook thought about you being petrified because of fear of all the bone crashing sounds, blood and violence, you weren’t. 

It was epiphany.  

Coming to a realization of the evil indeed could look beautiful, mesmerizing. Shouldn’t have been surprised so much as the evil itself is an angel, fallen or not. And it looked glorious in the cage, hiding under the skin of pink haired - brown locks were once pink and had undercut. - man who was beating the shit out of his rival in the cage. If he had that face when he lurked in the blood of the first one’s, you wouldn’t blame them for getting kicked out of the gates of heaven. It’s only natural to obey him, fooled by him. 

Even that moment, you knew he was everything. You knew you had to be with him, somehow. You craved his sweat covered body, his sinful fingers, parted lips to close them sweetly. 

His rage, his laser eyes, his flames-

The lust came before love, but they got along well. Falling in love felt like falling from the sky, and you were glad that you could understand how he felt years ago. The obscurity of it was terrifying, yet the thrill still beamed high. 

You were intoxicated by him, soothed by the tasty nectar of his apple. You were in love with him. And you were more than ready to be dismissed. 

‘‘Daydreaming again?’’ the man in his not so tight black jeans, matching boots and nothing more is now standing an arm length away, remains of shower still alive as his muscles and tattoos gleaming with the water drops. Air hitching around your throat, his smile beamed while he was busy drying his hair by a towel. ‘‘Bet you were thinking about me and what my plans are.’’ 

‘‘Cocky aren’t we?’’ a throaty laugh was his answer at your eye roll, a kiss you barely felt licked against your temple before he disappeared again to get fully clothed. A little bit of lying wouldn’t hurt him, but the truth about you thinking him twenty-four-seven would damage your pride so it was okay. Namjoon would not mind it, anyway. 

                                                                                                       ⋅＊⋆ ♥ ⋅＊⋰＊⋅ ♥ ⋅＊⋆ ⋅

The ride back home was a bit tough both for you two. Maybe more for him but if he wanted he could easily ease down your endless questions, but fortunately for both he didn’t. He hummed every question with a completely blank face, and chose to drive you wild. 

‘‘This is our way back home. We are going home?’’ 

A hum.

‘‘Are we going to the pub in the corner of our street? What was it, Bailey’s?’’ 

Another hum. 

‘‘You are not gonna tell me aren't’ you? This sucks, waiting sucks, you suck!’’ 

And there is the fucking hum and the laugh. He laughed at you like you were the one who acts hilarious. For the whole ride - and it was nothing more than twenty minutes but it felt like it - he hummed and laughed. Most of the questions were welcomed by silence, and the others died around your throat before even voiced out as well as your enthusiasm. Knowing he was doing this on purpose didn’t stop you from falling right into his game. Rather, you stuck in the middle of it and the struggle for going out pulled you even more. 

As they said, once you’re in the spider web, you fucked up. 

Well, you didn’t know who said it but it was true as you couldn’t get out of the bog of question and unknown. A nature you could call it, your curse. Being the absolute form full of curiosity and undying grudge you hold when you wouldn’t be able to get what you want. Maybe a bit spoiled as the other always called you, it never bothered you. What’s wrong with being a bit spoiled as long as you have what you wanted and didn’t hurt anyone? Well, at least the damages were not bad.

‘‘Home sweet home, huh? Hop off now.’’ it was direct when he stopped the engine of the car. Though, not rude. Namjoon could never be rude, and you know it better than anyone. Maybe he is in the cage, but that’s only natural. Cage was for animals, and he was one inside of the worn out metal. 

And again, you were angry. ‘‘Why didn’t you tell me I guessed it right at the head of the ride. I could have suffered less, you know.’’ and you had all right to feel your blood raging inside your veins, jumping right and left. Slamming the ages old car’s door without having mercy on it, you act before him and hurried your steps into your apartment. One hand searching the bag for the now lost keys. Of course, you weren’t just angry because you were going to spend the night in your house, you loved being at home with him. You were half-serious, half-acting your rage as a revenge. 

‘‘Woah, now don’t take our anger out of my girl, huh. What do you say?’’ he was coming back at you, grin hide away. Namjoon always adored how you were the literal ball of anger. Looking from out, everyone could easily misperceive who was in the charge in this relationship, but when you were all alone with your demons lurking free, he was always too eager to bend the knee. 

Maybe he didn’t have to work hard to get you at first, as you were already too deep in him. Yet, he knew. He knew that he'd chase you until the end of the world and beyond only to be with you more. To be close to you. To be yours. 

He shamelessly eyed the shape of your hips while you were climbing the stairs, as it’d be dumb not to. Outraged echoes of your mud covered boots beaming all around the walls, he bite his lip hard. It was a shame not to just have you right here, right now, where everyone could easily see. Maybe another time-

Now, your reaction is more important for him, so he waits while you fight with your purse to find the key, opening the door of your shared apartment, and then stopping instantly. 

As the night only allows you to see so little thanks to the light that echoed by the street, your body leans on the other sense you had. The smell that you shouldn’t smell tangles around your nostrils, magically the taste finds a way to bloom above your tongue, watering all over your mouth and you turn your head at Namjoon who is not sharing the same confusion with you. Rather, he was smiling with brows lifted high. And it only lead you to think-

‘‘What did you do?’’ he laughed at you as waiting this reaction, pushing you inside to close the door behind you and him. 

When the lights on he whispers behind your ear, way too delighted. ‘‘What does it look like?’’ 

And then, they were the things that shouldn’t be in your living room. The not so big clothed table, having lots of ornate belongings that didn't belong to you. Black covering above the white table cloth, there were so many forks, spoons that you would never use. The combination of red roses and black candles made you sick on the stomach as you stood there, mouth hanging open, literal disgust in your feature. 

Turning your head once again, you faced the man who was biting his smile, hiding it behind a thin line. ‘‘What do you think?’’ he asks, although knowing the answer very well, Namjoon needs to hear it from your lips. The delight was shrouded under it. And before you can utter an answer, you give one look to the table, and then your lover’s expecting face. Words loading to your closed mouth, you pushed them to the air rather than swallowing down. 

‘‘It’s hideous, I loved it!’’ 

Running in the middle of the room to examine the table better, Namjoon follows from behind, a laughter on his throat. From up close, it looked even worse. The absolute cliche you never grew liking. But you loved it because it was also not fitting with the man who Namjoon was and it made all these things amusing. Yes, he was kind, caring and a romantic without acknowledging it but never like this. More likely, he would do things without any romantic motive in them and that's exactly the reason you fell in love with him. He never bought you roses, but you were growing so many plants that one can call it a garden. He never took you out to a fancy place for dinner or never, ever made a table like that but he did cook the best food you ever had in your life. 

As the room filled with the tasty smell of something, you were going to turn back to ask what was the cause of it but the broad weight capturing you between the fat arms, your question melted away. 

Small, semi-wet touch of kisses painting your neck, you grabbed the head of some chair. Lashes flutter shut, you lean a bit back and bare your neck for more. ‘‘It smells so good. What is it?’’ barely whispered words coming out of you, Namjoon kissed the crook in the back of your neck, creating a deep purple before popping the skin off and clearing his throat. 

‘‘It’s something you would love to eat, but before-’’ the sound of his pocket continued after his word died, fingertips occupying you by the play on your stomach, the barrier of your shirt already passed. Flutter of your lashes, you lean back and wait rather than asking him what he was up to, or when he gathered these cheesy atmospheres. Namjoon chose to not rush anything, taking his phone from his pocket, steadily, unrushed. As he had already prepared it, he only had to touch the play button and the music filled the room. 

‘‘Oh- NO!’’ the flip of your stomach was funny as the laugh popped out as a reflex. Familiar melody echoing through the ice blue walls, your body moves with the man behind you, simultaneously. Following his steps while taking little right and left, tiny touches of his lips continued as he giggled with you. 

She's a little pirate in my mind.

‘‘You gotta be kidding me, right?’’ things have you surprised as they were highly odd, not expected from the man who never does anything this obvious. And plus, this isn’t being romantic in your language, this was being cheesy for both of you and you have had no idea why he was doing these all of a sudden. 

Give her all the love she gives to me. Rather than replying to you, he go alongs with the song. 

‘‘Never felt this love from anyone’’ Namjoon nudges at the side of your neck with the tip of his nose before talking - not mimicking the song this time -. ‘‘Remember the song, yet? It’s from the time where we first gathered on the bar, you were there with your friend, staring deep into my soul?’’ 

A man can never dream these kind of things

Especially when she came and spread her wings

Whispered in my ear the things I'd like

Surely you remembered the day he was talking about, how could you forget it while you did wait for that moment to come for feeling like a lifetime after you first saw him inside the cage. All that sweaty caramel skin had glowed in your dreams, the image of his tightened muscles left you leaking for so many nights. Therefore, you obviously remembered the day when Jungkook stalked him to find his favorite place so you two could act like you were always hanging there - which it worked -. There was no use pretending you weren’t captivated by him, so you did stare at him too much. Until he had noticed you, asked for your number, and fucked you on your bed, wall, kitchen… Poor Jungkook for hearing all of them, though, you learned that he used them for his own pleasure, so you guessed it was a win - win situation. 

‘‘Well, you know I get what I want, so…’’ the laugh coming rough, almost reminding a growl on your neck, he turned you over so you can meet him in the eye. Now, back rubbing one of the chairs, his long bony fingers already wrapped above your cheeks, you did the exact thing from the day. Stare deep in him. 

Side of his lips curled high, he wets his lips. ‘‘Hope you will have the same courage later in the night.’’ the eyes of him digs in you cold and greedy, your gulp sounds loud. It has him laughing, not so loud ‘hah’ presents his pearly teeth. ‘‘Before you, we have other things to eat.’’ 

                                             ⋅＊⋆ ♥ ⋅＊⋰＊⋅ ♥ ⋅＊⋆ ⋅

As Namjoon told you the details that you were very oblivious to, you learned that he got Jungkook’s help to decorate your apartment, all the cheesy atmosphere related to your sweet valentine just because you grumble behind his back that he wasn’t romantic enough, - even though you couldn’t remember when - and obviously, he wanted to punish you by doing this. Well, he didn’t call this as punishment but for you, it was because the romantic words, the whole decoration was too sweet for the souls you two had. 

‘‘It’s good that Jungkook helped you out while we were at your fight, but you know that he won’t help you with the cleaning, right?’’ like a lightning just struck on him, the pastry fell on the plate. His puppy digits grow wide, you find it beyond cute. 

‘‘Then it’s good news that I have the most caring girlfriend by my side?’’ the shake of your head wears his smile off, as he betrayed. He will think better next time before covering the whole floor with rose petals, now. And you hide your giggle behind the delicious pastry that he baked by filling your mouth with it, as his whines loud. ‘‘After all of these, I guess it’s too much to wait for a thank you in return.’’ 

Nodding, you take another bite. ‘‘Cream cheese mixes with the apricots way better than I thought.’’ he watches your struggle to lick the remains of the cream, so he leans and cleans the corner of your lips with his thumb. Brain freezes for a couple of minutes as his tongue curls around the thumb, leaving nothing behind. ‘‘Why- erm- why the apricot danish, though?’’ 

He leans closer, elbows rest on the table as the voluptuous eyes lure in you, stomach makes a funny flip at the way his stare goes between your eyes and the now chewed lips. Voice low and rough, it’s enough to have you clenching your walls. 

‘‘I wanted you to experience how it feels to eat me, as I always do the eating out.’’ unnecessarily bold words has you gasping, crumbles of the pastry goes to the wrong pipe and you almost choke. 

Wine nearly dries off when you clash the glass to your mouth, drinking it to ease the coughing. Namjoon watches all of these very calm, grin sneaky on his mouth. The back of his head was busy with what he prepared for later that night, in your bedroom. 

While you were still dizzy with the image of tonight's fighting, the duality he was showing was whirling your head, tongue feels lull, eyes burning from behind. And you loved how he makes you weak in and out. A toy at the end of his words. You pressed your thighs together to reduce the ache, and it barely helped. All you can think of is now his sweat glistening muscled back, your nails adding sweet crimsons to the palette, tongues ferociously devouring each other, breaths loud enough for your neighbour to hear as he takes you down-

‘‘S-so, you are the desert itself?’’ 

As the images flashing behind your head having you too hot, you had to cut it with blurting out the first thing that related to the topic but away enough to get you cold, again. Though, your voice did come out weird, high and distracted. 

Amusement tangled on the line of your boyfriend, his smirk only adds gasoline to your fire. And you visibly could see the reflection of the sharp edged flames by his eyes. To your liking, he didn’t force more and nods while explaining.

‘‘Well, you always refer to my dimples as apricots and we can agree that my personality kind of bittersweet as the cheese cream and when you mix them-’’ he abruptly stops and opens his hands in front of his face, resembling a blooming flower. ‘‘Voila! A complete pastry that you can enjoy.’’ Suspicious enough, his features change. As innocent as he can, he looks at you with wide, shining orbs and the man who teases you, almost chokes you down with his words now nowhere to be seen. Like he was never there at first. And this was exactly what was fucking you up every time his duality slips. Like he wasn’t the one who was breaking bones as they were chips, washing the scarlet down from his flesh, mounting behind you like he was the animal. Would growl, bite the thin skin over your neck so severely that it would bloom purple and yellow for the whole week and maybe more- 

This time, to capture your slipped attention, Namjoon had to wave his hand inches away from your blushed face. You had to swallow down hard as the cock of his brow openly, showing that he knew exactly what your dirty mind was busy with. And the tongue poking his cheek from inside always enough to have you drooling, as the air is getting thick and bothering you have to drink another sip of wine. 

‘‘Clear as glass, your mind can’t stop thinking what I can and will do to you. So, I want to make it obvious that at least one of us tried to be kind today.’’ the index finger pointing himself, he smiled one more time before his eyes went deep black. Shaking you in and out. And your mind wandered around the thought of you getting under the table just so you could hump on his leg as long as he lets you. But the tone of his coming words warned you before you can lose on the thought. ‘‘Now, I want you to go in there, and wait for me. That’s something you can do?’’ 

Behind your fluttering eyelids, your eyes trailed where his finger pointed, the mutual bedroom, and back his face. As the tone and the words enough for you to understand who was sitting in front of you now wasn’t just Namjoon. 

He was the Chopper. 

Merciless, brutal, bruising. 

The Chopper and his killer hands, choker fingers, cutting teeth. 

Everything you wanted and more. Everything you can’t even dream of. 

‘‘Y-yes. Yes, I can do that, Master.’’ the name enjoys the man, he feels proud that you can go into submissiveness even before he says much. In the end, he did train you for that, and he did it well because now, you are on your feet, walking further to the room he pointed by tripping over your shoe just once. 

It’s another whiplash for you to go into your room and find a black hook, secured to your ceiling after you turn the lights on. It wasn’t there before, was it? You’d have known if you had something like that on your ceiling because weird as ever, you stare there too much. Whether when you were overthinking or just dazed upon. Shaking your thoughts away, you forced yourself to focus on the hook again. Because obviously, it wasn’t the best time to think what you were doing in your seperate time as you had a fucking hook over your head, and a Master inside. 

‘‘That’s right.’’ well, he wasn’t sitting on the table inside like you guessed as his breath is tickling behind your ear. ‘‘I will hang you there, in the middle of our room, all tied up, helpless, and then-’’ with the connection of his skin on your sides, not so high from your hips, you shut your eyes and leaned back. He grabs your skin hard enough to draw a whimper, before continuing. ‘‘Eat your pretty cunt until you cry, overwhelmed. Then, gonna fuck you again, again and again, for you to cry even more. How that sounds, pet?’’ 

The last part putting chills all over your skin, you tremble under his embrace. Voice so controlled, husky, dizzying that your knees ready to give up just from that. Years after, the impact of his words never faded. 

‘‘Sounds… s-sounds good, Master. Sounds so good.’’ even though knowing you shouldn’t, your hands at your side, burns with the need of holding him close so you can brush your ass over his crotch to get a friction. It feels so empty, and that can push you into a stage where it drives you mad. ‘‘Please-’’

‘‘As a pet, don’t you think you talk too much even though no one asks you anything?’’ 

It hits as sharp as a whip to the gut, with the shame of making your Master angry, you feel like crying. But you only nod and utter certain words. ‘‘Yes, Master. I’m sorry.’’ 

Then, everything starts and goes so smoothly. The acts are unrushed, familiar, thrilling in a way that your stomach feels like a cheerleader and doing some flips over and over again. It even causes another rush of dizziness to you more. You’ve got used to feeling his hands on you, on the skin, so elegant yet enough to break, but against his smooth touch, the rope now covering your body, restrains your arms on your back in a very aesthetic way, has your heart fluttering its wings.  

His silent grunt reaches your ears weakly when he finishes with the last knot, and now you are bare as ever, helpless, and in his mercy. 

Before he talks, his kiss on the neck is full of lusciousness. ‘‘Just one last step, and then you will be my dessert for tonight.’’ nothing higher than a whisper, his words have you gasping. Nowhere on your body left unaffected by the sinister’s great word play. Behind your back, Namjoon’s eyes are going deeper and darker, stars glowing with lust in them, and you don’t need to see them to know it. Witnessing and memorizing the reactions, the actions of his body came at the same time with the hasty need you had for him, and it goes for both of you. 

So, when he finally finishes with you tied and hanged, you know his tongue rolled over his sharky-white teeth. 

‘‘Does anything bother you, baby? Something too tight, or loose maybe?’’ 

Safety is the thing Namjoon values much, even though you love it when he loses control and attacks you like an animal in bloodlust, you still stop and check yourself. Floor is a ghost for your toes, barely there for you to hold on to, everything seems fine when you try to escape, writhing in the trap of him, purposely trying to hurt yourself by the ropes but nothing hurts. At least nothing hurts that much because you like it when things hurt. Especially the thing standing behind your back, hovering over you, touch of his lips wet and affectionate on the flushed skin.  

Finally, Namjoon gets his answer. ‘‘Nothing hurts, Master. Thank you.’’ 

And he laughs at that. Not too much but enough to draw a sound between his teeth. ‘‘Always so good, so grateful to his Master, aren’t you little pet?’’ a tiny slap on your bare asscheek and you answer him with a breathy yes, master. 

Namjoon’s fingers move slowly, like in an exploration. First on your shoulders, nail drawing red where it touches, a thin line of tiny bruises. It goes all the way down from your shoulders to your hips, plays around the rope where it slightly covers your breast, capturing them in their own triangle shaped ropes. When he stops to draw circles inches high between your legs, you jerk your hips and that causes you to lose your balance. 

‘‘We are so responsive today.’’ he chuckles but it dies with the bite of his nails on the same spot as he positions you back. ‘‘So out of manners, can’t even stay still for Master. You are being useless like this, and I don’t like to play with a pet that has an empty skull. But you already know it, don’t you?’’ 

His nails are still digging your skin, it brings tears to your eyes and you nod. ‘‘I-I know, I’m sorry.’’ 

‘‘Apologizing won’t work if you continue to act like a ill-behaved toy.’’ to underline his anger, he lands another slap on your ass but this time it burns. And it takes all your effort to not writhe under it. 

‘‘I won’t do it again-’’ 

Another hit encourages your first tear to roll over to leave a wet trail on your face. Skin burning, itching, but all you feel is ecstasy to have more. To him, you shouldn’t enjoy it when he tries to punish you for not behaving right, but you can’t help it. Every strike, every killing hit brings shameless joy in you and you just can’t get enough. 

His octopus tattooed hand grabs over the bruised skin. ‘‘Are you enjoying this? Did I corrupt you that much, Puppy?’’ he snickers, teeth biting the flesh of your neck and you let your head rest on his shoulder. A similar smile tugs on your mouth, another tear goes down. 

‘‘I love it when Master hurts me. It feels too good.’’ 

Sounds sick, but there is no use of hiding the truth. Licking over the bite he gave you, Namjoon replies with the remain of his smile appearing on his words. ‘‘Oh, I know that baby. I know how you look stunning in red. All smiley with tears.’’ 

You giggle as his fingers go lower, playing with the skin of your slit. Though, you stay still. No matter how much it tickles when your blood rushes over there, even when his finger finds your needy clit. Already throbbing in bliss, you stay still. Though, even when he says you shouldn’t move, he likes to make a trembling mess out of you. Maybe it’s wrong to feel, but your tears give him unbearable joy. If the cry was caused by him, though. Otherwise, he could fuck up if someone even cause your lip to tremble which he proved that, many times. 

With hands tied up behind, you have too little mobility. Plus, your toes barely touch the floor, so even when he starts to rub your clit, you can only thrash as a response. Moaning after every rude circle, the heat was building fast and heavy in your stomach. Soft kisses on your neck turn into wet ones, and include his teeth. Available other hand goes up to hang around your breasts, toying around the now hardened buds, pulling when you least expect, and earning another choked moan. 

His very clothed body against your naked one creates a big contrast, a visible sample to show who is in charge, but you can feel how ready he is behind his clothes, his groin hard and furious as he rubs it on your hips with controlled movements. And every rub remanding how empty you are, his fingers above your clit making it even worse as it builds the sweet coil inside, inches high from your stomach. 

Pushing your hips back, you pleaded, voice all broken. ‘‘Feels.. feels so empty. P-please fill me, Master.’’ 

His fingers at your entrance, plays with your mind to believe he would push them in. You gasp as he just pushes his thick digits inches, mocks you with a laugh as he takes them back right away. 

‘‘Asking so cute and docile, yet you will feel that a bit more.’’ 

And you whine loud, not in a rebellious way but much like in need. Which, that is what you are, a needy mess as you were dreaming of him from the start of this day, seeing him half naked, angry, in an act of violence, drenched in sweat. Today was a torture, and Namjoon contunied the ruthless game. Rubbing, pulling, twisting every tender spot, your nipples, clit, inside your thighs, over your stomach. Every inch of you tortured, played by him, and it was going to continue as you heard a rustle behind you. His hands stopping on your thighs, he sighs. 

‘‘Fuck, my pet looks so tasty, all wet and ready.’’ your walls dripping, Namjoon licks his lips as the sight has him hungry. The pink skin nearly drooling in front of his sight, he was beyond ready to eat you, drink everything you give.

Like a starved man, on his knees, he takes a lick from you. The taste whirling his head, he growls, holding you tighter in his palms while you try to chase his tongue. Sob so agonized as it leaves your lips. 

But when his tongue finally finds the throbbing core, in relief and heat you let your head fall back. Wanting to clench your palms but the robes won’t let it as he tied some of your fingers, too, only to leave you more desperate. So you whine even more when his tongue pokes your insides, not entering but enough to shake your legs, swirl your head and to lose your breath into the room. Humiliating as ever, every swirl of his tongue pulls another cry, another tear, and his name the only thing that spills from your lips. 

Mind blinded by one thing. And it’s just The Chopper. 

His hot tongue. 

Tickling hair. 

Bruising hold.

Bite over your skin, here and there had you whimper repedately. The rich ardor boiling high, ready to explode as he circles, and circles, and circles his tongue over your clit- 

His lips lock around the frantic nub- 

And it causes you to lose yourself in the consuming delight, coming on his face as he starts to suck your clit. Toes curling, thighs trembling as the sharp euphoria boils in your veins, blood pumping faster as your eyes go behind your head. 

But Namjoon won’t stop until he catches every drip, sucking the spent bud, pushes you to the edge of overstimulation and your cries won’t work, either. 

‘‘Please, please, Master please,’’ is all you can say without even knowing what you were begging for. 

Which this is all you losing control more and more, limbs going weak, head dibs into the thick, blurry stage where the only thing you want is Namjoon. The only thing you need, the only thing you feel covered by him and you fell into the substage where he has you in his palm. To use it on behalf of both you and himself. To bring joy in your submissive brain with his domineering talks, touches, attacks. You were coming down from your first high, but already lost on the sensation where everything just started. The Chopper’s tongue cleaning the remains of your climax off your inner thighs, he gets on his feet after leaving two specific bruises, red and purple, by sucking the flesh hard and deep. 

‘‘I made you come but you still beg for more? One high isn’t enough for a slut like you, hm?’’ next, his fingers shove into your hair, pulling by the roots rough. ‘‘Nothing enough unless you have my cock in you, you greedy bitch.’’ 

Words nothing but like slaps landing on your face, your breath hitches under your moan. It should feel wrong to get off on hearing these, but the words throbs where you need the most. 

Fist to the gut, but the pain that comes with it is a bliss. 

Vulgar, yet caring your needs like a feather on the skin. 

Shady, vehement, maybe even tainted but you can’t stop loving that it cuts your heart and brings wings out of the wounds. It may be bleeding, but bandages have flowers on them. 

On your toes, it has all your effort but you manage to push your ass high, right on his crotch to tease, touches nothing more than a wind on the hair, you still giggle as he grunts and pulls your head back. The angle wicked as your neck looks like it’s going to give up, you whimper low by the pain. 

Sick smile still tugged on your mouth. ‘‘Yes, yes that’s true. Your pet is all empty, needy. Need you to mark her like you would mark your territory, Master. Your pet needs your cum on her.’’ maybe it is because of the words you just said, or the pout on your lips, Namjoon growls like an animal, hands grabbing every available flesh, pulling, clawing as he wants to tore your skin off and reach your soul to corrupt it visibly like he didn’t break you already. 

Then he bites down the skin between your neck and shoulder, enough to draw blood. 

‘‘My territory?’’ he spits. He sounds outraged, and even though you said things enough to get him angry, the shade of joy is still in his tone so you know he also likes how you provocate him. ‘‘Well, after all a pet should be treated the way it deserves.’’ 

Humiliation burns hot red, you squirms at the words. A need of holding on to something is increasing in you as after coming down by your high never stopped being tiring. With him, it’s like you feel everything ten times harder, deeper, and undoubtedly better. However, it only causes you to want more, never having enough of the things he gives. And you had a whole night to consume one another. 

When he talks, you see his reflection on your dressing mirror by the corner of your eyes. His hand ready above his belt, lewdness lingers on his smirk. And he looks gorgeous, hovering behind you, huge and sturdy. If you weren’t held by these ropes, your knees would give up many minutes ago. 

‘‘As we are animals tonight, shall we continue our hunt?’’ shaking you from head to toe, he truly looks like a predator with the gaze of a wolf, ready to eat you whole, make a feast out of you. Remains of your ecstasy shines when the light hits his face. A very graphic proof that he is out for hunting. Already captured his prey, and now there is only one thing left to do. 

To devour. 

As he finally releases his dick, it hangs angry and gigantic. The head in a deep red, shows how much he needs to come, it’s already wet, nearly dripping. In awe, and hunger, you watch him kicking his pants aside, taking everything off and leaving himself naked as you. With that, more of his tattoos reach your eyes as they go up and down. Sizing him up like you never see him, truly naked, looking like a partly completed palette with his body covered with so many colors. So many figures, numbers, blacks, reds, blues… 

Having so many things, he creates his noble singularity. Becoming a very special piece of his own. 

A mouth watering sight. All those muscles, buffy chest, eyes that have a hold of your soul, you leak even more. Though, he stays there, enjoys the way you watch him hungrily, as he strokes himself with slow moves. Eyes crossing each other’s paths on the mirror and he cocks a brow before letting his head fall back as he continues to stroke himself. 

His dimples out but from biting his lower, thinned lip and the taste of the pastry he baked blooms at once, covering all over your tongue as you want to dive it in his dimples, cover them wet with sloppy kisses. The thirst distinguishes itself once again. Murky and strong that you have to clench your walls, emptiness drives you mad more as he just continues to pleasuring himself while you literally hang from your ceiling, dirtying all over your carpet with how much you leak desperately. 

As expected, one low keen whimper by him is all it takes for you to let everything aside and submit to his merciless game. Fluttering like a fish on a net, you beg without holding nothing, tears streaming hot and fast. 

‘‘Namjoon, Master, please-... just please can you please fuck me? Please I need this, I need you, please?’’ 

‘‘Oh, was I too intense, maybe?’’ even though he asks as he worries, he still has that goddamn smile while placing himself behind you. Brush of his red skin to your damp pussy has you choke on your breath immediately. The loss of the contact affected you more than you realised and now having him so close feels just like heaven. Or hell. You didn’t care as long as he was there with you, to hold you close, kiss you sloppy, and fuck you like he hates you. 

Nothing mattered as long as you had him. 

Lips over your earlobe, you drip more right on his shaft between your legs. Pulse drums right over the skin where he touches you, teases you, like it’s all your body is waiting for. 

‘‘As you wished, now I will fuck you, darling.’’ teeth licking the skin with a faint press, his fingers go down to adjust himself. He fixes his bulge between the pink lips, not entering but it’s enough for him to rub his dick with what you were leaking, wetting himself to ease the act. 

But after every slow grind, your insides clenches with anticipation, waiting for the damaging push and the frustration grows more and more as you wiggle in his hold. It’s not a surprise how delirious you are just from not having him inside, as the need always wins with its whole glory over every other sense you have. Leaving you completely brainless when things come to the point where you are so desperate to have him in you that you would go on your knees and beg your lungs out for it. Of course, the sex is good, but with Namjoon it’s never only because of it. It’s the way you feel complete, leaving the worries behind and letting yourself completely at his hands. It’s always much better when you have nothing to decide because Namjoon will do that for you, like you couldn’t handle it, like your mind was too useless that he has to deal with everything, and will bring unbelievably severe pleasure with that- 

A sudden pull of his arms tears you away from your thinking. Your back hits his chest, hands settling on your hips as he starts to move further. Filling you full with one move, steady and unrushed. It takes him a couple minutes to fill you wholly as the length meets with your clenching walls inches and inches deeper. 

With every inch, he stretches you more, moans spilling as a mantra by your lips mixed with thank’s and broken Namjoon’s. Eyes rolled back, your heart goes insane in it’s cage, as the feeling of being finally full is the best thing that happens to you, tears of happiness go down one by one. 

Every nerve goes into a very brief shock after meeting with him, muscles strains and eases for a couple of times before he stops fully deep in you. 

‘‘Fuck! You feel so good, so soft, baby.’’ Namjoon hisses, waits only to feel you clenching and unclenching around him. Gives you a minute for you to adjust his length, not wanting to hurt you more than you need. Yet, you barely have a limit for that shit. Like a parrot who doesn’t know what to say other than ‘more’, you always end up repeating it. 

Without spending more time, when he convinces himself that you are ready and on edge from waiting as you cry nonstop for him to move, have his way with you, he does. A long, impelling push steals the breath you had in your lungs, pulling a croaked moan as he doubles his move. Slow rhythm of his stomach meeting with the swell of your ass, the sound of your soaked pussy reacting every push with a desperate squelch, you shut your eyes. 

Nails digging in your skin, it won’t take long for him to fasten. Unrushed grindings turn into famished jams as he shoves himself deep. Burning breath right behind your neck, he sucks the skin until it blooms red from the torment of his teeth, licks the throbbing flesh but not with intention to soothe. 

‘‘Look at you in the mirror, pet.’’ behind his clenched teeth, he commands. ‘‘See how spent...you... look. Just like a dirty cockslut you are,’’ every word coming after a rough pound, they are also as remorseless as his movements. Not giving you a minute to actually look at your reflection, and as much as you see, drool dripping by your lips, makeup ruined by tears, body all red and tormented, you really do look spent. Feel also as your limbs are still lazy after the first orgasm you had. But the rude push only excites you more, delicious high builds once more as every nerve wracking slam gets you wetter. 

Then, his hands leave your hips. One of them finds your throat, the other goes over your mouth, fingers dipping inside without permission. ‘‘Suck.’’ is all he says, harsh and demanding. And you do. 

Tongue curling around the two thick digits as it was his dick instead. Lips sucks hard while you circling your starved muscles around them. More you suck it, lapping your tongue around it, you drool more. Wet patch goes all over your chest from your throat, passing his hand around it. His pace not coming down even for a bit, digits leave your mouth and find your swollen nipple. 

Damp wrap brings chill over your torso, he pinches the poor skin as harsh as his slams. You howl, wiggle in his hold but he stops you with one wild squeeze on your throat. Cutting your breath as he continues assaulting your walls. 

‘‘This is what you’ve been waiting for the whole night, right pet?’’ you try to look at his face but all you see is a blurry sight as the tears won’t let more from that. Though, you are still able to see the way he moves fast. Fast and brutal. The sound of skin hitting skin smacks on the walls, deafens you. ‘‘Hanging around my cock because that’s the only thing you are good at. Being fucked by me, until you stand boneless, brainless, hm?’’ 

You open your mouth to give him an answer but fingers tightening around the darkening skin, only a strangled grunt leaves the lips. 

‘‘Sorry, couldn’t hear it.’’ he says with a wicked smile, biting his bottom lip as he quickens his moves. Hand only loosens when your face turns purple and coughs follow one another. When he lets you breathe, you cough even more as the air burns acidic in your lungs. His fingers pinching, pulling the aching nipples, hand heavy around your throat has you on alert, slams getting more and more deep, angled hitting right on the soft pooled nerves. You found yourself on the edge of another maddening rhapsody. 

Thighs trembling furiously, you try to close your palms mindlessly, clenching your walls around him as he growls low. 

‘‘’M gonna c-cum… S-shit, I-’’ 

Throat trapped in his palm once again, his fingers finds your swollen clit, his impale focused on your sweet spot, he pinches your clit, ‘‘Then cum. Drip all over my cock, slut.’’ he says, pushing you from the edge of the luscious high. 

And you find yourself thrashing, tears filling your mouth, yes, yes, yes’s irritating your own ears as the seventh heaven welcomes you from it’s door. It takes long for you to come from your high as Namjoon continues his brutal actions. Cutting your breath, fucking you merciless, biting down every spot he finds available. Your nerves locked, mind foggy and body tender to any kind of interaction, with three deep, hurtful smack after Namjoon spills white. 

Grunts by his lungs, he fucks his cum into you. Until overstimulation feels too much for himself, he doesn’t mind how loud you cry for him to stop. Because now, everything is beyond feeling sensitive. Every poke of his dick just puts hundred needles on your skin, as you hiccup, saying it’s too much. 

Then with one light smack, he stops. Panthing behind, he stays inside of you, arms covering your body tight in an affectionate embrace. He kisses your neck, down your shoulders, over every mark he left by biting. And with every contact, your body reacts to it by shaking in his hold. Mouth lull, mind too dizzy to voice anything, he grabs your chin to turn your head. 

A soft smile is all you can see behind your tears as he leans to capture your lips in his, ‘‘Happy Valentine’s, my sweet Moonlight.’’ then he pulls you into a sloppy kiss. Tongues curl around one another, drool mixing, lips smacking repeatedly, you whimper as the sensation comes too much. 

After a rough fuck, your mind - and of course your body - finds this affection bizarre and reacts by melting under it. And it goes so long that his lips never leave yours while he sets you free from the hook, torso still tied by the rope but now you sit on his lap, losing yourself into a rousing kiss session. His fingers go up and down on your stomach, sometimes lingers around your nipples to hitch your breath. And it goes on like this until you two burn with need once again. Hard and ready for another all-consuming bliss as he helps you to ride him. 

Holds you by the waist, circles your hips on him as his head rests on the pillow. 

‘‘H-harder. Master please, I need m-more…’’ sobs won’t let you talk more, Namjoon smirks at that. Fingers grabbing you tighter, as he holds you high. 

‘‘Can’t even talk but still cries for more. Tch, always starving for Master’s cock.’’ 

Answering him by nodding, he won’t wait long to fuck you ruthless. Bouncing you on his cock, you mewl, mewl and mewl until he changes the positions to push himself deeper in you. Knees hitting your shoulder, he goes so deep that your eyes roll back until he stops his movements. Your cunt clenched around him to hold him inside, it has him coming thick and lot. Brushing his finger around your clit, rubbing and pulling the wasted bud, you come around him before he goes soft. Panting loud, desperate as everything feels too much, too strong, too surreal. 

So, when Namjoon finally lays beside you, hand patting your hair while he adjusts his breathing, you try to stop crying. 

‘‘Are you okay, baby girl?’’ he asks, a kiss to your temple. Freeing your face from your tears, you see the concern buried deep in his eyes. ‘‘Let me untie you, okay?’’ 

Nodding, you let him pull you on your ass. ‘‘I’m okay… It was just intense.’’ smile wandering on your lips, you continued. ‘‘And amazing. Don’t worry okay? I really do love when you go harsh on me. It was… fascinating.’’ 

Namjoon laughs at your face, all flushed and dreamy like you were still in the heat of your sex. Setting you free from the last knot, he kisses every mark that rope left behind, helps you to move your muscles, clench and unclench your palms to fasten your blood circulation. 

‘‘It’s like you want me to tie you like this all the time, love.’’ Namjoon cocks his brow high, as the smile still lingers on your mouth. 

‘‘Would you?’’ answer coming so fast and full of hope, he has to laugh at your eagerness. You, indeed, would love him to hang you from your ceiling all the time. As you said to him, it was intense, mind-blowing, and you did like it so much. 

Shaking his head, he laughs once again. ‘‘You need to eat some sugar, then we can talk about… this. Okay?’’ he points the hook, you nod at him with a pout on your lips, But he leans and kisses it, massaging your arms. Then he stops abruptly, eyes go wide. 

‘‘Shit. I forgot to water my plants.’’ he then jumps from the bed and rushes to the corner where he kept his plants. 

Rolling your eyes, you let yourself fall on to bed. ‘‘Of course you did.’’ you mumble, watching your boyfriend spraying water at his plants, humming to himself with a heart melting smile tugged on his face. Duality causes you to giggle on your own. There the man who made you choke on your spit moments ago, now with all the care he has, he waters his plants. All naked, and happy. 

Tiny jealousy in your heart, you close your eyes to listen to him humming a song that comes familiar but you are so tired that you can’t find the name. Stretching your arms with all the power you had, as Namjoon talks to his plants with a soft voice. 

‘‘I know it took so long…’’

‘‘Look how grown you are…’’

‘‘Oh, guess we need to change your place, huh?’’ 

You sigh deep, a tiny giddy sense blooms in your chest while your boyfriend’s voice licks behind your ears. A warm smile grows on your face, you think,

Happy Valentine’s, indeed. 

[reinerispretty]

arms. (bolin x f!reader) nsfw

HELLO THERE!!!! thank u to the lovely riley aka @davnwillcome for coming up with this idea bc her mind?? an exceptional place also!! everyone here is 18+ and pls only read if u are 18+ okie hehe love u all

masterlist.

kofi.

“I brought you a gift!” Bolin cheered, stepping past her to enter her apartment. “Asami’s having Future Industries make a bunch of air conditioners, and she gifted us the first few models! Mine and Mako’s apartment is almost as cool as the South Pole!”

“Thank you,” (Y/N) said as she shut the door, clearing her throat. “Do you know how to set it up?”

The heatwave that was passing through Republic City recorded some of the highest temperatures yet. Its citizens were desperate to cool off by any means necessary. Some people went to the pool, others purchased air conditioning units for their homes, and some waterbenders created little ice parks for people to sit in. (Y/N) chose to sit in her apartment and not move at all. If she didn’t move, she didn’t sweat as much. 

The knock at her door annoyed her, and she grumbled unhappily as she walked through the hot air to open it. At her doorstep stood Bolin, air conditioner box in hand and a bright smile on his face, but neither of those things caught (Y/N’s) attention. What caught her attention was the fact that Bolin wasn’t wearing a jacket like he normally did, meaning that his arms were completely exposed. His biceps flexed as he held the box and (Y/N) had to wet her lips. 

“I brought you a gift!” Bolin cheered, stepping past her to enter her apartment. “Asami’s having Future Industries make a bunch of air conditioners, and she gifted us the first few models! Mine and Mako’s apartment is almost as cool as the South Pole!” 

“Thank you,” (Y/N) said as she shut the door, clearing her throat. “Do you know how to set it up?” 

“Yes ma’am!” And he set to work. (Y/N) felt a little creepy, just watching him as he assembled her air conditioner. But his muscles flexed so beautifully as he screwed the pieces together. His tongue poked out as he focused, and his cute little curl stuck to the shining sweat on his forehead. In (Y/N’s) eyes, Bolin looked absolutely beautiful. 

They had been dating for a few months now but had done nothing more than a few makeout sessions and sleepovers. But right now, she was prepared to let Bolin rail her against her kitchen counter. 

“Done!” Bolin said triumphantly, plugging her unit into the wall. It hummed to life, bringing a coolness to the air that gave (Y/N) goosebumps. She grinned, tossing her arms around Bolin and planting a kiss to his lips. She lingered for a second longer than she normally would before pulling away, smiling at the dumbfounded expression on her boyfriend’s face. 

“Thank you!” She rubbed her hands up and down his arms. “I like your outfit today.” 

“Oh, thanks,” Bolin said, looking down at himself. “It hasn’t been this hot in a while, I had to dig this out of the back of the closet. It’s a little tight, honestly.” 

“Maybe you should take it off,” (Y/N) suggested, playing with the belt loops of his pants. Bolin furrowed his brows. 

“Take it off?” He repeated, before realization dawned on him. “Oh! Take it off like, take it off.” He rubbed a hand against the back of his neck. “Are you sure? We’ve never--” 

“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to,” (Y/N) said lightly, a smile present on her lips. “But I will say that you look really good. I think you should show off your arms every day.” 

Bolin smiled, caressing her cheek before pulling her in for another kiss. It was deeper than before, with Bolin sliding his tongue into her mouth rather quickly. (Y/N) let out a low sigh, relaxing into Bolin’s touch. She gripped onto his shirt, trying to get him as close as possible. 

“I think,” Bolin said between kisses. “We should go to your room.” (Y/N) nodded, taking him by the hand and pulling him into her bedroom, slamming the door behind them. He shoved her up against it, kissing down her cheek and jawline, all the way to her neck where he sucked on the sensitive skin. (Y/N) let out a surprisingly loud moan, shocking the both of them, but Bolin smirked at his girlfriend. 

“Clothes off,” (Y/N) breathed, pulling off her clothes and leaving herself in nothing but her underwear. Bolin grabbed her by the waist to kiss her again, backing into her bed and collapsing on top of it. 

(Y/N) sat back, tugging on his shirt. Bolin smiled, removing it and tossing it across the room. She ran her hands from his stomach up to his chest, causing Bolin to shudder. “So pretty,” (Y/N) hummed, leaning down to kiss down his chest. She stopped at his pants, unbuckling them herself and pulling them down his legs. Bolin kicked them off but her eyes were trained on the hard outline in Bolin’s black briefs. 

She pulled them down, freeing his cock as it sprung up and slapped against his stomach. She knew Bolin had many great qualities, but she wasn’t expecting him to be absolutely perfect. He would definitely be the biggest she had ever had, but she didn’t mind. (Y/N) liked a challenge. 

She opened her mouth to take him inside, but Bolin shook his head. “I want you,” He said, his lips forming a pout, and (Y/N) smiled softly. She took off her underwear and Bolin’s eyes shone in amazement. “You’re so beautiful,” He said, and (Y/N) felt her face get hot. The two moved back up the bed, (Y/N) taking place underneath her boyfriend. Bolin hovered above her, his face red from being flustered and nervous. 

(Y/N) lifted her hand up and stroked his cheek. “Have you ever done this before?” She asked softly. She probably should have asked that before they had gotten this far. 

Bolin nodded, his eyes not meeting hers. “Never with anyone I ever, um, y’know.” She shook her head. 

“What?” 

“I’ve never done this with someone I cared so much about.” And (Y/N) felt as if her heart was about to explode. They hadn’t expressed that she loved him yet, but she felt it in her heart. She’d say it soon. Perhaps not right now, but eventually. 

She took him in her hand, guiding him inside of her. Bolin let out a long moan as he pressed all the way inside of her, and (Y/N) tossed her head back against her pillows. Bolin leaned down, kissing her ever so softly, as he began thrusting inside of her. 

She wrapped her legs around his waist, trying desperately to pull him closer to her even though it wasn’t possible. Bolin’s chest pressed against hers, and (Y/N) had never felt so physically and emotionally close to someone before. 

“Bolin,” She said, and he came to a quick stop. 

“Is everything okay?” His green eyes were filled with worry. 

“Yes! God, yes,” She laughed, breathless. “I want you to do something for me, if it’s okay.” 

“Anything,” He said, giving tiny thrusts inside of her. 

“I want you to choke me.” The worry returned to his face. 

“I--But what if I hurt you?” He asked, and (Y/N) smiled. 

“You won’t,” She promised. She took his hand and guided it to her neck, squeezing at the sides. “Just like that,” She sighed, her eyes rolling back into her head as Bolin picked up his pace. He had to admit, he liked the way she looked with his hand wrapped around her neck. He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers, and resting his forehead against hers. 

“Could you do it to me, too?” He asked, sheepish. (Y/N) smiled, nodding, and pressing her own hand to his neck. It barely wrapped around his muscly neck, but Bolin’s eyes fluttered shut, so she assumed she was doing something right. 

Bolin started squeezing tighter and (Y/N’s) orgasm ran through her, tightening all of her muscles and making her see white. Bolin joined her soon after, pulling away from her to finish on her stomach. He collapsed beside her on the bed as they both caught their breath. 

“I’m--” Bolin sighed, closing her eyes. “Wow.” (Y/N) laughed. “Was it...Did you, um...are you...?” 

“It was perfect,” (Y/N) assured him. Bolin leaned back against the pillow, nodding to himself. 

“Good, good,” He said. “I thought so, too.” He stood, wobbling on his legs to her closet to get her a towel. “Do you wanna go get noodles?” 

“Sure!” 

---

[andsmile]

Honestly I'm starting to lose hope to ever get Varchie back. First KJ saying he and Lili have a lot scenes together, then writers changing Betty's personality so she can become Archie's doormat and now this Betty's interview about ba having a emotional scene... Seriously their fans are so sure ba is not only happening post time jump but for the whole season and I- I don't know, I swear I'm not a troll but I'm really starting to lose hope. I don't even want to think about it because I'm a huge Varchie fan and like I could survive a few episodes of those two cheaters dating, but the whole season? Pls, tell me ba fans are just being cocky and there's still a hope for us?

By the way I love your tumblr. Your replies are always so mature and make so much sense. Your positivity is what's making me still having hope for Varchie get back eventually.

OOOOOKAY nonnie, and other 39 anons I’ve got ever since Lili mentioned the word “emotional” somewhere.

Listen to me. I’m old (lol) and shouldn’t even be in the Riverdale fandom but I am and here we are, this show is entertaining, I love writing fics for it and I love Varchie, Veronica, Archie, Bughead, and all the characters. I just don’t love B*rchie, as you guys know, and the writers. But anyway, this love and dedication for my hobby -- before I get anyone else saying I should get a life (I’ve got a troll recently saying that) -- has brought me many great friends, some of which work in the industry or are close to people who do. I don’t say the stuff I say just because I’m big brained, it’s a combination of analyzing spoilers, behind-the-scenes, the actors interviews, reviewers analysis, and hints from people who definitely know more than I do.

Do I know everything? No. Can I be wrong and fall flat face and y’all will hate me? Unlikely, but it can happen.

However, listen to me when I say: Varchie and Bughead are not threatened by Betty and Archie dating in seven years from now. 

Of course, it’s bumming that they have to go there, that the cheating plot happened (even though RAS clearly rewrote stuff to downplay it) and that they’ll be explored, but explored is the key word here. I’ve been telling you guys since May that Betty and Archie are gonna date after the time-jump. I’ve been telling you guys that I just didn’t know if they’d start together already or if they’d start because they see their main romantic interests with other people. Lili’s interview basically confirms the latter.

Do I know if Archie and Betty have feelings for each other that were lingering for seven or however many years etc etc? No, I don’t know. But think logically, it was bound to happen. They’re all going to be apart. Betty and Archie were best friends their entire life (as KJ said in his interview, where he called her his best friend 3 times and never mentioned ‘love’ unless talking about Veronica) and it’s probably easier for them to reconnect. Lili alluded to Betty going through some changes, too. Nostalgia is B*rchies biggest theme so far, so why would it be different? They’re all coming back. Jughead has a girlfriend, even if not for long. Veronica has a husband. It’s the next logical step, to have them date.

I know the big B*rchie accounts out there will try to make it look like BA are having this epic slow burn build up that will come to a head around episode 10/11 (filmed in February) where Archie will give her flowers and declare his undying love or something, but please. The casting call was proved fake but even if it wasn’t, this isn’t going to happen. You guys -- us Varchies especially -- need to stop catering to the B*rchies narrative so easily just because they’re loud. KJ and Lili most likely have already filmed their romantic arc, are probably in the way of finishing this arc right now (hence the ‘emotional’ scene), he’s been steadily filming with Cami, Chris and other people involved in that arc, even if in group scenes, and their schedules (and Lili and Cole’s too) are bound to change from now on to be more focused around each other.

Trust me when I say this isn’t permanent. Bughead and Varchie are not going anywhere and the only people who believe that are just catering to this narrative that the BAs plant in our minds through their excessively annoying tweeting of headcanons and well-crafted edits.

Also, and just because I don’t want to answer anyone else, people need to STOP blaming this arc on Lili or KJ or Cole. Cole and Lili breaking up hasn’t affected the storyline, they are professionals and will film together again. Lili and KJ are talking about B*rchie now because that’s the storyline for early in the timejump and it’s their job to promote half of the ship they’re in. I know before hand Lili hasn’t enjoyed the idea of B*rchie but she has no power over the narrative, and if she does now, what if she changed her mind? She’s not gonna change what the writers have in store; if she did, Betty would have never stripped in front of a group of grown man, I’m sure.

KJ doesn’t ship B*rchie or Varchie, Lili doesn’t ship Bughead or B*rchie, they’re professional actors getting paid to tell this story. They enjoy working together because they’re friends just as KJ and Cami, KJ and Cole, Cami and Cole, etc. And as for Sprousehart breaking up affecting the storyline: this isn’t One Tree Hill.

So, I hope this help keep your chin up. It won’t be easy to see BA dating, but you have to trust Archie and Veronica’s and Betty and Jughead’s journey, that has been built for four seasons already, and it’s clearly not over. You guys need to keep your focus on them. And if BA dating affects you a lot, just jump season 5A and you’ll be most likely good.

And please don’t share this on Twitter, I get enough trolls and hate as it is!

[hamiltonimagines]

I Promise

Pairing: Daveed x Reader

Request: “would you be willing to do a daveed x reader where you guys are out and having fun and you run into your ex (who is not nice) and you get all shaky and scared so daveed is super protective and reassuring? lots of fluff please!!” - @winchesteralvez

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mention of verbal/physical abuse. Arguing and angst and everything else is just so so so much fluff!

I woke up to the feeling of someone poking me. I opened my eyes and once I adjusted to the light, I realized it was Daveed. I had fallen asleep on the couch watching some documentary on Netflix. Daveed was standing next to the couch.

“Wake up, sleepyhead” he said, with an adorable smile on his face. “Give me a kiss first” I said, with a smirk. “Well I guess, if you insist” he joked and sat next to me. I sat up til we were face to face.

“Come here love” he said as he cupped my face with one hand and leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss. We pulled away and I leaned my head on his shoulder. “I love you” I whispered to him. “I love you too darling” he said, sweetly.

“So why’d you wake me up?” I asked him. “It’s time to go on our walk” he said. We had starting going on a walk every night. It let us spend quality time together and also get in some exercise. “Okay, let me go grab my shoes” I said as I stood up and walked into our bedroom.

I met Daveed back in the living room, “you ready?” he asked me as he grabbed the house keys. “Yep” I said, smiling. He interlaced his hand with mine and we walked out the door. We were walking in comfortable silence.

“So how did that song go? The one you were writing last night?” I asked him, remembering hearing him in our home studio, late last night. “It went great, it was probably the quickest I’ve ever written a song” he said. “So what was it about?” I asked, curiously.

Daveed and I were both in the music industry. Him more on the rapping side and me on the singing side. So we were both always interested in songs the other had written.

“It was about you, as always” Daveed said, smiling. “Aww you big softie” I said, leaning my head on his shoulder. “What can I say? What’s a better muse than you, the stunning woman I get to call my girlfriend. I’ll have to play you the song tonight” he said, and he planted a kiss on the back of my hand.

“You are always so sweet to me” I said to him. “Well you are the love of my life” he said. “And you’re mine” I said, honestly.

Throughout our relationship of three years, Daveed and I have never had an issue with being sappy or telling the other how much we love them.

I truly felt lucky to have such a loving and supportive boyfriend. I knew he had my back no matter what happened.

We began to walk over this small bridge, it had the perfect view of the sunset. We both stopped to look at it. “Wow, it’s so beautiful” I said, in awe. I let go of Daveed’s hand and walked up to the side of the bridge. I placed my hands on the cold cobblestone and admired the view. The vibrant colors were so beautiful and awe-inspiring.

Then I heard a camera click behind me. I quickly turned to face my very guilty-looking boyfriend. “Did you take my picture?” I asked him. “You looked so pretty with the sunset, I couldn’t resist” he said as he walked closer to me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me. He held me there in his embrace while we looked at the view.

He moved one his hands just a little bit, but accidentally touched a spot on my stomach that was ticklish. I instinctively squirmed and let out a giggle.

“Oh, are you ticklish? What a surprise” he said, sarcastically. Daveed knew me better than anyone, he had used his knowledge of how ticklish I was against me on many occasions.

“Daveed Diggs, don’t you dare” I threatened him. “Or what?” He asked with a smirk. I knew I had no upper hand. He turned me around to face him. I was absolutely trapped, with his arms on both sides of me.

He attacked my stomach with his fingers. He had the biggest grin on his face and I was trying to move away while having a laughing fit.

“Dav...Daveed...stop...pl..please” I begged him, in between fits of laughter. “Beg for mercy” he said, chuckling as he continued to tickle me.

I managed to get out of his grasp and I jogged away from him. Then up in front of me I saw a face that I would recognize from a mile away.

I froze right in place, I couldn’t move a single muscle.

It was my ex-boyfriend, his name was Eddie. He was a jerk when we dated and he was constantly flirting with other girls. He also loved to tell me how much I needed to wear makeup, lose weight, or whatever insult he chose that day. We went to a party once and he got drunk and he hit me. I raced home and grabbed all my stuff and moved in with Daveed.

I hadn't seen Eddie since that night. Daveed knew all about what happened, but he never met him so he didn’t know what he looked like.

“Ha I caught you” Daveed said and went to pick me up, but I swatted his hand away. “Hey, don’t be upset that you can’t outrun me” he said, laughing. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t even form the words to tell him.

I started taking short, shallow breaths and I felt like someone was cutting off my air supply. “Woah darling, what’s wrong?” He asked, very concerned. “That’s....that’s Eddie” I whispered. He quickly looked to where I was looking and saw him.

Eddie hadn’t seen us yet, he was too busy checking his phone. “Come on baby, let’s go” he said grabbing my shaky hand. Just as he did that, Eddie looked up and made eye contact with me. He started to storm over toward us.

“Daveed, he’s gonna hurt me” I said, worried out of my mind. I had no doubt that he was furious after all these years.

“No he won’t, I won’t let him touch you, I promise” he said. Daveed held tight on to my hand and started to back up. Eventually, Eddie just ran over to us. Daveed stepped in front of me and got between Eddie and I.

“There you are, you little bitch. I’ve been looking for you for three years now” Eddie said, furiously. “Leave her the hell alone, Eddie. I swear I will the not hesitate to beat the crap out of you” Daveed said, protectively. “Oh who are you? Are you the new guy? Nice to see Y/N is still a slut” Eddie said, with such anger in his voice that I flinched.

Apparently Daveed noticed, because he put his hand behind him and grabbed a hold of my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He knew that I was panicking and knew how to calm me down.

“Listen here, you’re going to leave me and my girlfriend alone” Daveed threatened. I had never seen Daveed so aggressive. “And what if I don’t?” Eddie questioned. “You don’t want to know” Daveed answered.

“Whatever, she’s not worth it. Don’t be shocked when she leaves you though. As soon as there’s someone new, she’ll leave you like she left me” Eddie said as he walked away.

As soon as he was far enough away, Daveed quickly turned and pulled me into his arms. I broke into tears, that had built up from staying strong in front of Eddie. “Shh it’s okay darling, he can’t hurt you now” he said calmly, as he rubbed my back.

“I was so scared he would hurt me or hurt you” I told him. “I’ll never let you get hurt, I promise” Daveed said, reassuringly. He held me there for a while, just holding me tight, rubbing my back, and whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

“Can we go home now darling?” He asked. “Yes please” I replied. He let go of me and held my hand and we began to walk home. “Thank you for being so protective” I told him. I was so grateful for him. “Of course, you know I would never let anything happen to you. You’re my priority, always” he said, rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of my hand.

“You know all that stuff he said about me leaving you wasn’t true. I love you so much and I’ll never leave you” I confessed. I couldn’t stand the thought of him being worried about me leaving.

“I know, I love you too. I know you like the back of my hand. You don’t have to defend yourself to me, Y/N. I know you and I know you are so kind and caring and compassionate. You’d never do anything like that” Daveed said.

“I love you” I told him and without a second thought he said “I love you too”. That was when I knew we were soulmates, when neither of us had any question of our love for each other.

We went home and we cuddled in bed. And when I woke up with nightmares about Eddie, Daveed was right next to me helping me through it.

[farfromtommy]

a life well lived (steve rogers x fem!reader)

gif not mine

summary: life with steve rogers has been the adventure of a lifetime

A/N: pls let me know what you think i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it. this is mildly edited so pls excuse any mistakes 

warnings: little bit of infinity war and endgame angst, heavilty ignoring the last like 20 minutes of endgame, nobody dies, fluffy fluff wrapped up in everything

word count: 1,914

masterlist

add yourself to my taglist here !

You had met Tony Stark while you were studying at M.I.T after he caught wind of a new genius on the rise. He took you under his wing and the two of you became unstoppable. You helped him run Stark Industries until he approached you about a new idea. After everything had happened to him, he came to you about a suit of armor that would change the world.

While developing his suit, he knew he needed a partner. Someone who had his back no matter what was being thrown at him. He worked on a suit without your knowledge and when it was ready he revealed it to you. A suit of armor matching his, but... you sized. You were essentially a second Iron Man. He needed you with him while he was taking on this new job he had created for himself. Much to your dismay, the media had labeled you “Iron Woman” and you had to run with it.

When Tony was brought in by Nick Fury for the Avengers Initiative, his only condition was that you were brought in as well. You contributed just as much as Tony did and you would be a valuable asset to the team. When the rest of the team was brought together you had caught the eye of a certain blonde soldier. Steve had seen the way you worked and had an insane amount of respect for you. It wasn’t easy doing what you did. He had read about the woman working alongside Tony Stark and never imagined how amazing she is.

You were intelligent and compassionate. You were fearless and unapologetically you. He could go on and on about the kind of person you are. It took a special kind of a person to bring Steve out of the place he was in after coming back. He would call you in the middle of the night if he had a question he could not get out of his mind. You would be over at his apartment almost instantly with food and a laptop in hand, showing him whatever he wanted to know.

Those late nights became sleepovers on his couch when you were too tired to drive home. You loved the late nights with him. It was almost like he could put down the wall he always had up and you loved who he was behind it. You laughed like you’ve never laughed. You learned to love like you’ve never loved. Steve Rogers had your heart the moment he shook your hand and introduced himself to you, and he knew it.

It didn’t take long for you to start falling asleep in his bed rather than the couch. You would wake up with him wrapped around your body and you would melt right into him. He was never one for talking about his feelings but the very first morning he woke up to the soft snores escaping your lips he couldn’t hold it back anymore. You sat there listening to him ramble about feelings and love and when you couldn’t get him to relax you planted your lips on his. After that, you knew you would never let a day go by where you weren’t right there next to him.

You stood by him when S.H.I.E.L.D collapsed and his childhood best friend had risen from the dead and tried to kill him and his friends. You know better than anyone the love he had for Bucky Barnes. You had been there when Fury got into Steve’s apartment and told you both not to trust anyone. You took down the helicarriers with them and watched in horror as Steve went down with one. You were there with Sam as he woke up in the hospital. You held his hand feeling like if you let go you'd lose him again. He pressed kisses to your hand and rested it on his heart, reminding you he wasn't going anywhere and would be with you no matter what.

You stood by him through the accords, knowing the consequences it would have on the most important relationship in your life. You were also there when the news of Peggy’s death broke and held his hand during the whole service. You fought side by side in Germany, knowing what it would mean. You ran with him and Bucky to Siberia. You left Tony there on the ground in Siberia and you, abandoning someone who had been there for you for almost 10 years.

You held his hand when he had to say goodbye to Bucky again. He knew he could trust the Wakandans to fix Bucky and take out whatever Hydra put into his head, but it didn’t hurt any less. You were allowed to stay a couple of days in Wakanda to gather yourselves and prepare for the next mission. You had left your suit behind in Siberia, knowing Tony would have found you if you kept it. You had help from Shuri developing a new suit that wouldn’t be tracked and still had most of your design implements but with some upgraded technology. You held Steve as close as you could those few days, knowing what leaving was going to mean. Nothing you did was going to be safe, there were no guarantees anymore.

You were there with him while on the run before Thanos. Hopping around from country to country with Nat and Sam. You had been on the run for god knows how long and it wasn’t getting easier. But having Steve right there next to you made it just a little bit easier at the end of the day. You had your best friends with you through everything. Steve would hold you at night when you couldn’t sleep and you’d just think about if all of this was worth it. One night you asked Steve what he hoped he’d get out of this. He said he wanted to be able to hang up the Captain America suit and live a life he never thought he’d get. A life right here with you.

Watching you get dusted in Wakanda was the worst thing Steve had ever experienced. He stood there speechless watching Bucky’s gun fall to the ground, dust floating around it. You ran up to him and placed a hand on his as he grabbed the dust from the ground. You looked him in the eyes and just told him how much you loved him and that you were with him no matter what. You didn’t know if you were next or if he was, you just needed to make sure he knew. You told him you love him and just held on as you started to disappear. He shut his eyes as he felt your grip on him started to fade away and all he could do was whisper “I’m sorry”

The 5 years he had to live without you were the worst of his life. You were robbed of a life with him. Steve thinks about what he should’ve done differently. He should’ve just retired when the accords were drawn up. He should’ve taken retirement and built a life with you. A life you had always talked about getting. Taking a page out of Clint’s book and building you a house in the middle of nowhere and raising kids. You both talked about saying no to the accords, retiring and settling down somewhere. Leaving the superhero-ing to someone else. But you both knew to fight for something you believed in far outweighed your personal desires.

When Scott said he had a way to bring everyone back, to bring you back, Steve needed to do everything he could. He needed to get you back. During the time heist when they were sent to the battle of New York, Steve had forgotten about you being there. Seeing you again made his heart fall to the pit of his stomach and it took everything in him not to run up to you and never let you go. He needed this to work, he didn’t know what he would do if it didn’t.

Seeing you fly through the portals Dr. Strange created had stopped his heart. He saw your suit, he heard your voice through the coms. Standing next to Bucky and Sam as you dropped to the ground ready to fight, he knew he would never let you go again. You fought beside him like you had countless times before.

You dropped to the ground knowing the fight was over, seeing the armies get dusted right before you. Steve spotted the red and gold of your suit somewhere on top of the rubble, your head bowed and eyes shut. He made his way to you, a little unsure of what may happen. He crouched in front of you dropping the hammer he was now wielding. You looked up at the man before you, tears falling heart racing. He tackled you in a hug, burying his head in the crook of your neck as much as he could with the suit on. The first 2 words out of his mouth after 5 years without you were, “marry me”.

After all was said and done you and Steve refused to wait another moment before becoming husband and wife. Tony walked you down the aisle to the love of your life surrounded by the people who mattered most to you. You were met with Steve’s eyes with tears falling out of them. When you handed your bouquet to Natasha you brought your hand up to Steve’s face and wiped the tears. He placed his hand on top of yours and kissed the inside of your palm.

The ceremony was perfect. You stood there with Natasha by your side. Steve stood with Bucky by his side, something he never thought would be possible. After 5 years of nothing but pain and regret, everything was as it should be.

During the reception, you were sitting at a table by yourself playing with your rings and just looking around at all the excitement and joy. You spotted Steve standing at the bar with a beer in his hand and a laugh bubbling out of his chest, a sound you would never get tired of hearing. You looked back at your rings with a smile on your face.

“You did good, kid” Tony whispered. He came up behind you and placed a hand on your shoulder. You looked up at the man who changed your whole life. “Yeah, he’s not too bad. Maybe a little too old for me, but I don’t think it’ll be an issue.” You smirked. Tony chuckled to himself and sat down next to you. You sat there in silence absorbing all the love bouncing around the room. 

“When are you and Capsicle going to have kids? Morgan needs some cousins so she’ll stop asking me when she’s getting a sister.”

James Grant Rogers was born not too long after your wedding. The bouncing baby boy was nothing but perfect. You and Steve had finally started building the life you wanted together. Not wasting much time giving James some company, you welcomed Joseph Samuel Rogers to your family. And once again with Sarah Natalia Rogers not long after that. Steve promised you that you could stop at 3 but you’re not too sure how long that is going to last.

a/n: im so mad i literally didn’t know how to end it without it being forced or like... idk. but i hope u enjoy reading it i love love LOVED writing it and im so happy to be getting back into writing again. pls check out my masterlist and read some of my other new stories. i’ll be labeling them new so show them some love <3 

[taesthetes]

Hey I just need to get something off my chest and idk why I’m dumping this all on u but u seem like the nicest person on tumblr that I know but if ur uncomfortable or anything pls feel free to look over this. Lately I’ve been trying to stay away from bts and the fandom bc I feel like it’s toxic for me. It’s not like where I listen to them and follow them and obsess on a religious level but I feel like I’m more occupied w them than I should be. 1/?

After all they’re all just humans who get tired and lonely and miserable and aren’t perfect, yet we idolize them and depend on them for our happiness. Of course we should support them, but it’s to the point where it’s frickin ridiculous, like nothing exists without bts, u know what I mean? 2/?

And I’m at the point of life where t depends on me to make my own decisions and make choices that will shape my future, and I really don’t want to look back and regret wasting time watching videos and thinking about things that will essentially have no impact on my life. What I like about bts is that they seem to have a deeper motive behind just simple Kpop, but I think I’ve taken that too far to an extent where it’s become my excuse. 3/?

Bts are seven people who have worked hard to deserve recognition and truly deserve it, but they’re also seven men who have separate lives from me that I have nothing to do with. They’re people that I’ve never even met and I don’t know tbh, we only see the filtered and edited sides of them. It just feels wrong to look at the packaged versions of them and expect them to live up to my expectations or fantasies. 4/?

There’s also the aspect that they’re kpop idols, as in regardless of how different and unique they may be, they’re still going to follow the formula and act like idols who are polished and made as perfect as possible. The whole industry is based on us going crazy over their looks and dance and singing and whatever, and it’s so messed up to me that we r supposed to like them for something so superficial and in genuine. 5/?

Idk if I’m making a lot of sense rn. I just don’t think it’s right of me to force them into a mold that I’ve created in my mind and then get disappointed when they don’t comply, and expect them to be something different when this whole time, even I’ve been idolizing them based on their appearance and talents. 6/?

And then there’s the fandom, filled with a variety of people from all different backgrounds, races, ages, genders, etc. and while it’s cool to have something in common with someone, I’m just tired of having army be the only thing that defines me. When I meet someone that likes bts, it’s as if I personally don’t matter, like it doesn’t matter if I killed someone as long as I like bts. 7/?

I don’t know how to phrase this … the diversity and tolerance is amazing, but at the same time, I’d like more genuine friendships than fangirling over someone’s biceps and thighs u know. Lately I’ve been kind of falling out of listening to bts and stuff, but I find myself continuously going on social media so I can keep up with them in habit, more than being interested. I deleted Twitter and unfollowed all bts accounts on insta and tumblr, but without it I feel like I’m missing something 8/?

It’s just a cycle of me trying to discipline myself, not being able to do it, and getting sick of myself for being so pathetic. Even with fanfic, ur writing for example is literally better than like an average author, but I feel so stupid to fantasize about someone without even knowing them first. I don’t have a problem with fanfic, it’s more like I have a problem with myself reading fanfics. 9/?

I know most of my problems lie with myself, not bts or the fandom, so that’s why I’ve tried to bottle it up and pass it on but it’s really making me miserable. I know going to a fanfic author who I don’t know personally may not be the best idea, so pls don’t feel pressured by this message to do anything or say something. I think writing out my feelings and venting has made me feel a little better. 10/11

So I’m really really sorry for forcing this on you, and don’t feel obligated to do anything!! Thank u for ur amazing writing like always, and have a restful and amazing day!!! 11/11

hi, honey bee, it’s totally okay to talk to me about anything you want and also, you’re incredibly sweet for thinking that i’m the nicest person on here, thank you :’) but i really understand how you feel towards the whole fandom and bts.

yes, bts are just humans who get tired and lonely and miserable and aren’t perfect, but rather than idolizing them, it’s perfectly okay to like them for who they are as people and for the music they produce. it’s okay to appreciate someone for the work they do, like how we enjoy artwork and appreciate the artist for creating them or how we like the flowers planted in the park and appreciate the gardener for planting them.

i wouldn’t say that my happiness depends completely on them, but they do make up a little part of it because their music makes me happy. and music is supposed to make you feel things. their funny videos can make you happy, and that’s okay, too. i see stanning bts as a hobby i enjoy at times, not as my only source of happiness, because there’s so much more that makes me happy, like flowers, food, art, etc. however, depending on one thing for happiness is unhealthy, so i do agree that an obsession with bts is bad. there’s nothing wrong with supporting them, but yes, having a mindset that only bts exists is unhealthy. i just found this post that better explains how stanning a group is good and bad through the psychological point of view, and it’s pretty interesting! :D

i don’t think you’re wasting time watching videos of them. if they made you happy at the time, if they made you laugh when you were sad, then it was worth it. unless you’re choosing to watch videos 24/7 and neglecting your family, friends, academics, job, health, etc. then i don’t think it’s necessarily bad that you’re watching videos. it’s like watching your favorite tv shows or playing sports. it’s just another hobby. it has an impact on your life because it makes you happier.

i do understand your concern though as you move into a new chapter of your life. personally, i’m not as into them as i once was back in high school anymore. i did spend a good deal of time writing and posting a fic about them once a week. it really changed when i went to college though since my priorities and time commitments changed. i think you might be more occupied with them when there isn’t something else to fill that aspect in your life if that makes sense? i wasn’t particularly academically simulated in high school, so i had a lot of time on my hands even after spending time with friends and doing clubs. i got into kpop because that’s something easily accessible and it’s entertaining. but with the freedom that comes with college and harder classes, my time is filled more with going out with friends, studying, painting, spending time with my roommates, etc. and bts got less of my time.

yes, bts are people with separate lives who you may never meet, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate and like them for what they do. and, they might not show everything about themselves to the public, but we can learn from the good examples they do show, such as their UNICEF work and lyrics that talk about more than just romantic love. i personally think that most of what they show is genuine, but there is a line to be drawn between enjoying the work they do and believing they are gods. but yes, i do get that their personas to the public can be fake, which is a bit /: because yeah, there are people who are in love with them and dedicate their lives to them, but we really don’t know who bts actually are.

i think, rather than idolizing them, it’s better to see them as humans and as people just like us. that tends to take away any fantasies or expectations i have of them. yes, they are kpop idols, and that’s their job. they’re just working to make a living doing what they love. yes, the industry is built upon the fans, but it’s like that with any music artist or celebrity. i think it’s okay to like bts, but not to the point where your love for them surpasses the love you have for people who are actually in your life.

and you’re making sense, don’t worry! i hope my answer makes sense, too. i think every fan goes through where you’re at right now. i had felt that way about bts and exo before, but i moved on from that and now see them as people whom i appreciate. it was just a process for me, but i think it has to do with me filling my time with other things and spending time with people i thought were more important, and my love for kpop is now just something that brightens my day a bit if i ever need it.

some fans can be very… enthusiastic, but that might just be because they don’t have anyone else to talk to about bts. but yes, i get what you’re talking about. sometimes, it’s exhausting to just talk about one thing all the time and be seen as just a bts fan, and not as your own person. but even myself, i think it’s exciting to find someone else that listens to kpop since for me, there aren’t that many people around me who do. but after the initial excitement, i’ve made many friends through our mutual love for bts. as friendships grow, we talk about other interests we have and other things we like, so we don’t always talk about kpop. many of my friendships started from a mutual interest, whether it be bts or art or a mutual dislike for a teacher or class subject haha, but it grows from there as we talk about other things and get to know each other.

it’s fun to have someone to talk about comebacks and mv’s with, but yeah, i get that there’s more to talk about. maybe you can try introducing a new topic? or going out with friends who don’t listen to bts? and hey, we can be friends if you want :D you can talk to me about your day, your favorite foods, your favorite tv shows, any pets if you have them, anything else you want! i haven’t listened to bts for a while now either, i only follow their official account on instagram, and i don’t check my tumblr for days, even months during the school year. i don’t think you have to cut them out entirely to the point where you feel like something is missing. but if you are no longer interested in them, do you have any hobbies you can use to fill up that missing feeling? maybe baking or cooking? drawing? going out with friends?

and you are not pathetic!!! you don’t have to cut off something entirely at once. it takes time, but you’ll get there. and omg alsjdhflaksdhfd thank you for saying that about my writing :’) and there’s nothing wrong with reading fanfiction! please don’t feel bad for reading it. fanfictions are just like any other stories out there, except you already have a face and a name for some characters. i personally don’t read them for the idols featured; i read them because the writing is so much better and there are so many more interesting concepts involved in fics than in books i can get from the library. 

and please don’t keep your feelings bottled up and be miserable ): you can always come talk to me if you ever feel this way. and if you have one, we can swap kakaotalk id’s if you want to talk since it might be easier to text that way :) or you can send in more asks! it’s always good to talk about your feelings, even if it isn’t comfortable at first. even if it’s not me who you talk to in the future, i hope you are able to share your feelings with someone else and not keep everything inside. you deserve to feel happy. and i’m happy to hear that you’re feeling a little better! you’re always welcome to vent into my inbox (or you can direct message me; i have it turned off for those i don’t follow, but if you send me an ask with your url, i can message you first, so we can talk that way, too, if you want!)

you don’t have to apologize; i’m just very glad that you’re feeling at least a little better now! i understand that there’s a struggle that comes when you’re dealing with something that’s been a part of your life for so long. your feelings are valid, and i have definitely felt this way before, and it’s always good to talk it out or have someone listening. and thank you so much for liking and reading my writing, sweetpea 💕 i hope you have a lovely and relaxing day as well! i hope you’re doing good, and you’re still feeling better today, honey bee 🌻💘

[saintanism-archive]

daaaamn aj, back at it again with the long as fuc headcanons !! anyway hi everyone it’s me this is saint he’s a pretentious fuck & my ( really long, sorry, feel free 2 skip them, there’s a tl;dr summary in my bulletpoints so u can just scroll past it ) headcanons and intro stuff is under the cut !

first headcanon. while most houghton parents are doctors, lawyers, and business executives, saint’s always been something of a horse of a different color. his family certainly isn’t unwealthy—he does, after all, live in one of those multi-million-dollar brownstones in beacon hill auctioned by freaking sotheby’s—but they’re certainly neo riche, which can be sort of hit or miss, depending on who you’re asking. saint is not unlike his parents in that they surround themselves with a kind of off-kilter opulence ( sure, that kind of cash value would have bought them a newly constructed sleek mansion in the suburbs, but why go for something new and modern when you could live in a brownstone with over three hundred years of history that, supposedly, one of the founding fathers lived in? besides, you just can’t beat that location—never mind that the brownstone’s been totally gutted and replaced with sleek, modern interior anyway, and definitely not anything that ben franklin or whoever would have touched ) while pretending to eschew materialism and vanity. why else would they live in boston instead of new york or la, right? anyway. saint is the only son of the one and only cordelia st. mercy ( pronounced, unlike saint’s name, the french way—san merci, which sounds hilariously close to ‘sans merci,’ meaning ‘without mercy,’ a joke that is not lost on saint ), a renowned fashion photographer and portrait artist ( think in the vein of annie liebovitz  and arthur elgort ) with a marked celebrity and high art clientele, and also the one and only son of the less elegantly named garrett wallace ( a pen name; his real name is garrett wallerstedt, but his editor and agent agreed that last names that are difficult to pronounce are harder to sell ), whose grisly but artful novels earned him a national book award in 1997, a film deal in 2001 ( the film was a critical and box office success but, in garrett’s opinion, too reductive of his book; ‘pure snuff’ ), and a professorship in the creative writing program at MIT. yes, that MIT, which yes, does have a creative writing program, and yes, it’s a very good one. SO—that’s the pedigree saint mercy-wallace was born into, and it probably explains a whole lot about him. his parents are not and were never married, so he can’t quite say he’s a child of divorce. instead, he spends the school year with his father while his mother travels all over the world, doing her work, though she comes home for holidays and saint’s birthday, and the summers he spends with his mother, dipping his feet into the world of the new york art scene. it was an unusual arrangement, but not a bad one; it was a long time before saint even understood that his family situation was out of the ordinary, but, like, at least he knew both his parents loved him or whatever. they are both pretty emotionally distant and prone to getting caught up in their own work—his father is always focused on teaching or poring over his latest book or invited to give a talk somewhere, for example—but it’s not a bad situation. they’re just more like friends than parents. as a result, saint grew up with a lot of freedom ( more than most of his houghton peers, whose helicopter parents put the weight of the world on their shoulders ) and little discipline, often left to his own devices and trusted with the ability to take care of himself.

second headcanon: ah, yes. the houghton food chain. it’s easy to say saint sits at the dead bottom. like, he’s not even the bugs that get eaten by the birds or whatever. he’s the plant that gets eaten by the bugs. or the soil nutrients that get consumed by the plants—something like that. but the easy answer isn’t necessarily the correct one, and you see, once upon a time, saint sat somewhere near the top. he was never number one, of course, but he was up there, in that little crew of self-proclaimed high school princes and princesses ( quite literally, what with calling themselves windsors and all ). and he fit quite well, all things considered. what, with his pseudo-celebrity family background and his instagram roll full of selfies with models and musicians and actors and that specifically youthful brand of devil-may-care attitude that bordered at times on cruelty—he was a perfect fit for the windsors, his five-story, oft-empty brownstone the perfect venue for their parties and his unconscious need to belong to some kind of family the perfect host for going along with anything that dante and his ilk said. that’s not to make it sound like he was manipulated into it or anything of the sort—he wasn’t. he and dante were good friends—they were all good friends—and like anyone would, saint relished in the perks that came with sitting at the king’s left hand instead of dancing for his entertainment. he was ( and still is ) always the kind of person who gave off an air of not really caring about anything at all, but that’s especially easy when you want for nothing. his life was impossibly easy. too easy, perhaps—exactly what went down that infamous day when saint fell from his high school pedestal remains a mystery. all anyone really knows is this: it was your typical rager at chateau mercy-wallace. the party was going as saint’s parties typically did, so, pretty well, until saint cut the music and ( red-rimmed and wild-eyed, or stinking of about a hundred cigarettes, or with a bloody nose from too many lines of coke, depending on who’s telling the story—it’s morphed a bit over time ) threw everyone out of his house with no explanation. just a party’s over, fuckwads, get outta my house, and some monologue about the bullshit superficiality of high school, of all of them, about how they were all talking in circles and repeating the same lines over and over, but not even their own lines, lines they’d inherited from generations and generations past. it’s equally up for debate whether saint left the windsors or was kicked out, but there’s something of a general consensus that it was in the muddy lines of both. that went down somewhere towards the middle of the end of his junior year. since then? total social pariah. he left behind the lacrosse and soccer teams, opting instead for chain-smoking under the bleachers and cutting class. he’s a mystery, that saint mercy-wallace.

third headcanon: they were friends until they weren’t. they met in middle school and hit it off pretty easily, these two sons of daedalus who feared not the dangers of flying too close to the sun. they were handsome and charming and confident and gifted and the world opened for them—it made it easy to get along. eleven-year-olds didn’t need much by way of substance to start friendships. if you were to ask saint, looking back on it, after that they remained friends out of habit—because they were in the same place at the same time, because they had similar privilege, because they both felt they could do anything and get away with it, because they had similar luxurious sensibilities. it was ( if you ask saint ) what really bonded all of the windsors together more than any other kind of commonality. but, you know. when you wake up—as saint describes it, a waking up—and you look around and you see all this shit you’ve been brainwashed into thinking matters about anything, and you call out the only flimsy common ground you’ve got. well. you’re not going to be friends anymore, are you? after that, saint didn’t harbor any particular resentment towards dante, but he made no attempts to be friendly, often making snide remarks about the absurdity that was the whole premise of the “windsors” and how maybe they all needed to get outside and look at something other than their phones once in a while. he was still fairly shocked and upset by his death—nobody wants anyone to die, old friend slash new enemy or otherwise—but not enough to make a big thing out of it. saint’s had a pretty hard time feeling much of anything these days.

OK THE TL;DR VERSION:

son of a big hotshot fashion/art/celeb photographer ( cordelia aka cordy st. mercy ) and an acclaimed writer, essayist, novelist, thinker, etc ( garrett wallace, who teaches creative writing at MIT )

lives in a big ol brownstone in boston proper, often left to his own devices

his parents are not married to each other so he usually spends the school year w dad and the summer w mom - pls advise if u want some kind of step sibling or “our parents are dating this is terrible!” connection

used to be a windsor ! he was once (in)famously a member of the elite Inner Circle(TM) until he even more infamously had a giant burnout , threw everyone out of his house during a Classic Saint Rager ( he used to be known for throwing parties ), stopped hanging out w the windsors and has been kinda.....weird ever since

i mean don’t get me wrong he was always a pretentious fuck but he used to be better at keeping it inside and like having fun and talking about silly things now he hates talking about basic high school bullshit

his instagram is full of selfies w models and artists and musicians and actors and he only listens to bands you’ve probably never heard of who are “on the up and up”

and also house music and gregorian chants and weird af shit he’s into, like, industrial noise. anyway..........

prides himself on being very fashion forward and forward thinking in general

BIG MESS

literally never says things that aren’t . ridiculous

examples:

“can’t today my existential dread is acting up”

“i only eat squid ink pasta it’s the most melancholy of pasta”

“i can barely navigate the hellish vortex between breakfast and dinner, let alone the labyrinth of the soccer field” ( said when he quit the soccer & lacrosse teams, which he used to play )

does not give a single fuck about anything ever

chainsmokes like u wouldn’t believe catch him on the bleachers during football practice wearing all black and smoking three cigarettes at once it’s disgusting ( lowkey he thinks it looks cool lol what a loser )

reads pretentious af shit like jd salinger and allen ginsburg and the other beats and thinks he’s so edgy. kill him

skips class.....all the time . . . . but has really good grades ? wild

hates everyone and everything that isn’t Elegant

acts like he’s so above all this high school hierarchy nonsense & too cool for it & blah blah but uh

he’s probably just depressed

maybe still gets invited to parties if people forget for a second that he’s a giant fucking weirdo now? but maybe not

i would Love a ferris bueller to his cameron frye but we’ll see

anyway he’s super hard to plot with but you should plot with me anyway

this has been an intro by aj thanks for coming to my ted talk

[sparrow-in-boots]

youre proud the portuguese used to be major colonizers?? what do the british have to do with south america??? im. a little lost

Okay so, I’m going to assume you’re a gringo to be asking that question, and I’m also going to take this in good faith for yours and other people’s benefit because South American history is not really a subject in other countries’ educational system to put it very charitably.

First of all, I’m absolutely not proud of the Portuguese empire’s colonial legacy. On the contrary, I’m highly critical of it and its lasting consequences in all of its past colonies, and the atrocities that they perpetuated. What I meant was that to erase the Portuguese empire’s part in the colonization of South America, the differences between the past Portuguese and Spanish colonies in Central and South America, and how those differences shaped our current geopolitical situation is to erase half of the history of the continent. When I brought them up, it was to remind that they were in fact a major power in the world before the British Empire took that role, something that is quite often overlooked or downplayed like it was in that post I reblogged. I don’t say it as a point of pride, I say it as a reminder of a historical fact, awful as it is.

And, you ask what do the British have to do with South America, and I tell you, more than you might think. 

The British had been trading with Portugal in their colonies since the 16th century when they first started to dip their toes in the transatlantic trade. They first started sailing from West Africa and then started to make stops in the northeast of Brazil, before returning to England. At first, they came for pau-brazil, a type of wood native of South America that gives a very deep and rich red dye and it was all the rage before sugar came along and became the Portuguese colony’s main export as well as other raw materials like cotton and tobacco. Of course the Portuguese cracked down on those trades eventually, and also Britain had the Sieges of Boulougne going on, so they had to give it a break for a bit. 

So guess what? Around the late 16th century, the British empire sent down fucking pirates to press on the Spanish and Portuguese fleets. Privateers but, you get the picture. You’ve heard of Francis Drake, right? 

Yeah, that guy. He and some other notable names like Edward Fenton and Thomas Cavendish were sent to explore the waters between the Atlantic and the Pacific and find ways to circumvent the fleets to make the way around the globe, going through the Strait of Magellan. You know, the southern tip of South America. Also, to steal stuff from the Spanish and Portuguese colonies. Just to prove that they can and to clap back at the Spanish. And the ports of São Vicente and Santos in the southeast of current Brazil became an almost obligatory stop for English ships sailing in the south Atlantic to restock their ships for the rest of the journey. 

So the Portuguese started to get fed up with the English stopping by their colony and started to fend off the ships and arrest the sailors if they made port. So because they were pirates, they attacked the Portuguese colony. They assailed the Bay-of-All-Saints (current Bahia, Brazil) for two months, they raided and pillaged engenhos and towns on the southeast coast, and when they attacked Recife, they got so much loot from the city that they needed the help of Dutch and French ships to take it all with them. (an interesting source to dig through)

Also, where do you think our sugar went to? The engenhos (our version of plantations) sent the raw sugar to the Dutch who refined it and sold it across Europe, especially the British. Until the Dutch and the Spanish started to plant sugar cane in the Caribbean, Portugal had the sugar market pretty much cornered. That’s why the Guyanas exist and one of them have English as their main language, it was a Dutch colony and the British took control of parts of it from them, so they could trade with the native communities for prime resources, like wood, pau-brasil, native animals, cotton, tobacco, urucum (it’s another source fo red dye, google it), and so on. Guyana’s capital is called Georgetown??

Oh, shall I get to the fact that the majority of the gold you see in the interior of Buckingham Palace is from Brazil? I think I shall because, during the gold rush in Minas Gerais, Portugal was severely in debt from their wars with the Spanish and the Dutch. So much debt that what they got from exploiting their colonies, they spent it right away with industrialized goods. Goods from England. We in Brazil have an expression, “quinto dos infernos”. Literally “the Devil’s fifth”. It comes from the taxation of gold from the mines, one-fifth of what the miners extracted went to the Portuguese. To send someone to the Devil’s fifth is to tell them very emphatically to go fuck themselves. I think that explains how the people in the colonies felt about the taxes. It also caused revolts like Levante da Vila Rica and the Inconfidência Mineira, the last one being a major historical event in Brazil. So much so Minas Gerais’ state flag’s design is the same as was suggested by the rebels.

Libertas quae sera tamem is latin for “freedom albeit late”.

Oh, and you think pirates and privateers got involved just those first times? Think again! The tensions between the Spanish and British fleets in the Caribbean caused some major upheaval and even a war between the two of them, one battle affecting current Colombia, with the British attempting to siege several major ports from the Spanish. The war started cus the Spanish cracked down on illegal commerce in their colony by the British.

During the Napoleonic Wars, the British invaded the Vicoroyalty of Río de la Plata, (currently Argentina and Uruguay). The war was a good cover to attack one of France’s allies, but it wasn’t the first time the British had their eyes on the region, they’ve had previous attempts at trying to take control previously. The defeat of the British by the local populace with little to no help from the Spanish colonizers was also the last straw they needed to push for their independence.

Speaking of dwindling colonial powers, when Spanish and Portuguese ships kept failing to supply ships to meet the colony demands, it was the British who stepped in and filled the gap. After the Napoleonic Wars, the transatlantic trade basically belonged to the British, and if you’re paying attention, that greatly affected colonial and independence era South America. After Brazil’s independence from Portugal, the British were one of the new country’s main economic partner, mostly because it was their support when the royal family came to Brazil that pushed for independence. They even opened a mining company in Minas Gerais that ran for 125 years.

And these are just the things off the top of my head. The British Empire, like all the other European empires, had their fingers on many major events in Latin America as a whole as well as all over the world, but I tried to stay focused on South America. 

Colonizing powers in Europe of past and present have always had their fingers here because that’s what having colonies is. It’s exploitation and intimidation and always trying to get more and more, no matter who gets hurt or killed in the process. The plantations and engenhos were brutal, the mines were brutal, the entire system of colonization is brutal and revolting. Countless enslaved people, mostly black people, died in those places, so many even the slave trade couldn’t keep up with the demand for slave labor. It’s absolutely horrifying. And our countries have suffered and still suffer from external influences in our politics, especially by the US in more recent history, even if we keep fighting against thinly-veiled military intervention constantly. It really fucking sucks.

And you could have learned all this - and more! - if you just bothered to open a single Wikipedia article. Like, literally google “history of South America” or “Latin America-United Kingdom relations” and read. Bonus credits if you dig into the article sources and read them if available to you in English. But if reading is not your thing, there are several youtube channels out there who want to teach you stuff you don’t know and are a decent enough jumping point. Literally all I can say after all this is, educate yourself.

(I’ve leaned more on Brazillian history which is what I’m more familiar with, but if there are any fellow latines who want to correct me on something or add on to this, pls do so!)

[buckyisloved]

Shattered Glass part 2

Ship: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: curse words, mentions of blood, a really angsty reader.

Summary: You and Bucky have been together for three years now, you don’t understand how he could break your heart the way he did when you found him in your bed, but not alone.

You slept your whole day away on the first day you took off, to forget. But, the next day you knew you had to try to lighten yourself up. Your closet was a mess, it still contained Bucky’s things.

Before dressing up for the day you shoved the rest of his clothes in the abandoned box in your room so you didn’t have to constantly look at them.

Except one; his red shirt. You loved to sleep in it, you didn’t think he’d realize it’s missing. After shoving it somewhere you go back to your closet and pull out an old black hoodie with gray fitting sweatpants to go with a blue shirt with a red star in the middle. You honestly didn’t care what you looked like.

after putting on some light make up you made your way out the door and to the mall. It was your place of healing.

You marched into the nearest store and looked through the dresses.

You wished Nat was here with you, she was the best at picking out outfits that you would enjoy. Plus, she always made you smile.

There was a lot to choose from in the dress section; red ones, black ones, and gray ones, but one caught your gaze. You felt like you were seeing red. It was a short mid thigh length blue dress with a white collar, the exact same dress you last saw your mother in last.

You quickly shook your head, deciding it was the wrong choice to leave your apartment and went home. You had work to do tomorrow. ____________________

Walking into stark industries wasn’t the hard part, the hard part was seeing everyone’s knowing glances. Tony had given you a quick hug and kiss on the head. Clint squeezed your shoulder, and Sam did the same. Wanda looked at you and read what happened in your head and then frowned. Natasha snuggled you with hugs then yelled at you for not telling her but then apologized for yelling and comforted you.

“Seriously y/n, you know that I’m always here for you. Why didn’t you call me?”

You looked towards her and smiled weakly, “Well I knew you would be with your mom so I didn’t want to interrupt your time with her…”

The look Natasha gave you looked like she was saying ‘seriously??’.  She walked closer to you, squeezing you tight again, “Honey, I’m here for you through thick and thin. Next time please call me. I promise I will get to you as fast as I possibly can.”

You hug her back, thanking her. But then you had to go to a certain captain in charge.

When you walked into Steve’s office to greet him he automatically shot up and wrapped you in a tight embrace. “Y/n, how are you?” “I’m… I’m actually okay.” You say holding a somewhat forced smile. Steve frowns, “I hate to say this but just ignore him today, if he comes and talks to you fine talk. But we have a mission.. and it’s serious.” You felt a pang in your chest. Last time Steve said there was a serious mission it was with Hydra, but, you and Bucky had stayed back. “Is it?” “Yes.” You gulp down your nervousness and nod, “If you don’t want to do this I under-” “I’m going.” “Are you sure?” Steve says touching your shoulders “Yeah, I’m sure…”

Steve hugs you one more time, planting a kiss on your cheek. “Let’s go to the meeting room I just called everyone down.”

You follow Steve into the room and sit with him waiting for everyone to come. They all filed in one by one, ending with Bucky. He opened his mouth to call for you, looking like he wanted to plead your name once again but you looked away. He lowered his gaze and sat down at the other end of the table.

Steve explained the mission thoroughly. As soon as he said Hydra Bucky’s eyes darted towards you, and yours did the same. But instead of looking for any longer you turn away once again. Steve needed your help, so you’re definitely going on this mission.

“-Sam will be with tony, Natasha will go with Bucky… y/n go with Wanda, Clint you find a high point and keep an eye on us, and I’ll go with vision, All clear?”

“Wait what?” The gruff voice rang through your ears and you looked up at him then back to Steve. “Y/n can’t-” “Alright Steve. Sounds like a great plan.” You say interrupting Bucky and getting up to get get ready. You were out in the hall and you could still overhear the arguing in the room, “Y/n and I can just stay back like last time Steve. Why are you making her do this?!” “I am not making her do anything buck! I already asked her and made sure and she was fine with it. So are you coming or not?” … You were already gone in your room before hearing Bucky’s answer. You put on your suit, which was a purple onesie like leotard. Matching with black leggings and a utility belt wrapping across your chest and around your back, like a sash. You finished your look with a mask that covered your lower half of your face, kind of like the winter soldiers. Except there was a cage like opening by your mouth for when you needed to use your power.

After getting ready you headed to the quinjet and boarded on with everyone. The only seat left was next to Bucky, which you reluctantly took. Steve was reciting the plan when Bucky leaned over and whispered to you,

“We don’t have to do this y/n”

You clench your jaw and look up at Steve, not answering him. “We can go back to the building and.. talk.” You squeeze your eyes shut, “Steve should me and Wanda try to work our way in through the roof?” You felt Bucky’s gaze on you falter. “That can work but we can use you guys on the ground.” “Alright we can do that.”

You only feel bad for ignoring Bucky for a second, but then you remember what he had done to you and bring your mind back to the problem at hand.

_______

When the jet landed everyone went into there positions as Hydra attacked.

You and Wanda were a great pair. The two of you had a signature move you’d use almost every time that would make the two of you look bad ass.

You would lift a car and throw it Into the air and she would fling it as far as she could. And You could make each other fly, she would lift you up with her powers while you could yell so loud it would fly her into the air in seconds.

The two of you were beating everything in your way. Then you got into the building and your flow dropped.

There stood Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff holding a petite blonde woman against a wall, right next to what was presumably her wheelchair. Your heart dropped when Bucky reeled his arm back to hit her.

“BUCKY!” You yelled so hard that the group flew backwards. You automatically rushed to the woman’s side and lifted her up to look at her face. She was trembling in your grasp. “Pl-please just let me go..” she said weakly You ripped off your mask and looked her in the eyes “Mom?”

“Mom?” Bucky said.  Then angrily made his way walking towards you but you gave him a warning glare and he stopped.

“Y-y/n?” She said with a relieved smile, touching your face. “My baby girl, it’s been so long..”

you started walking away from her and towards Nat.

“Running away again?” her now sweet mother like voice turned cold and gruff.

You swiftly spin around to face her again, clenching your fists.

“They shot him in the head.” You said with every syllable. “Come again?” “They. Shot. Him. In. The. Head” you say now right in front of her face “I don’t know who-” “Dad.”

The blonde woman had a confused look but then started laughing uncontrollably. You step back, staring at her in disbelief. You feel Bucky touch your shoulder, “We can just leave her here…” You look at him “So she can reek more destruction on this world?” You turn back to your mom who is now wiping away a tear.

“That douche? He didn’t understand that you were born to be a weapon. Not his daughter. So since he was against everything he just… had to go!” She says finishing with more laughter.

You pull her up by her collar gripping your gun in your holster. “Oh this isn’t funny anymore? Why did you stop laughing?” You say to her.

“Shoot me.” “What?” “Shoot me in my skull like your father was.” “No.” “No? That’s a stupid mistake.” She says spitting in your face.

You throw her to the ground bitterly and cuff her to a pipe coming from the wall, then walking back to your teammates.

“Call in a jet with a cell.”

Natasha nods and walks off grabbing her phone.

“You’re making the right decision y/n.” Bucky says grasping on to the tips of your fingers.

you squeeze his hand smiling then turn back to your mother once again.

“Do you know the pain and struggle I’ve been going through all my life because of you? You were supposed to be my mom.” you say with your voice cracking.

she grins and sits up, “Oh honey… I’ll never be your mother.”

BANG!

A shot rang through the air and your mothers blood was splattered on the wall. You quickly ran to her side then turned around to see Bucky ducked by the door looking outside for the shooter.

“son of  a BITCH!” you say standing up.

You felt your world stop when you heard another shot ring through the air. Bucky turned to you automatically, “B-bucky?” your body slowly fell to the ground

“Y/N!”  he came to your side, holding you tight.

Then you saw your teammates come to your side.

Then everything was black.

_____________________

Later on you awoke in one of Tony’s hospital beds in a panic, you shot up thinking this was Hydra and winced in pain. “Woah woah y/n it’s okay. It’s me Bruce. You got shot in the gut, lay back down.” You lazily looked over at Bruce and saw Bucky sleeping in a chair behind him. You felt your lip curl up. “Hey Bruce.” You said laying back down and smiling up at him. “Hello y/n- "What did you think you were doing out there!” Bruce was just about to tell you about your injuries but then Tony and Steve busted through the door, waking Bucky in the process. The two of them were shouting at you non-stop like two worried parents until Bucky stepped in,

“WILL THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP SHE JUST WOKE UP!” His voice came booming through your ears, stopping your heart for a second.

Tony and Steve stared at him but then Steve frowned and walked over to you, taking your hand. “I’m sorry y/n, it’s just- ” “We were scared.” Tony says cutting in.

You went to form words but a seemingly upset Bruce stepped in, “You two cannot bust into my lab when I was about to medicate and check y/n’s wounds. Now If you want to talk to y/n you’re going to have to wait and get out of here before I go green.” You shoot the group of men a 'please go’ look and they all leave in seconds

Bruce patches you all up and then lets in the bunch again. Tony and Steve give you a father like chat about things you shouldn’t do during a mission then you went back to your room.

there stood Bucky Barnes. A tear streamed down his cheek and he looked at you like you were his everything.

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

_____________________

Hey guys!

Please give me honest feedback, I’m new to reader fics and I feel like I used the word 'you’ about 500 times.I’m probably going to do a 3rd final part but please help me out by telling me what you think about this one, thank you!

[gsasustainability]

Flora Robson 

Painting and Printmaking

Autumn

There is tree at the bottom of my garden which has fascinated me for the past 22 years. I have grown up watching this sycamore (of the Acer Brilliantissimum variety) lose its foliage each year, it’s salmon pink leaves turning yellow to green to a gorgeous emerald by summer. This hardy tree holds this parade of colour every year, living and breathing amongst its herbacious peers. It’s interesting how attached you can become to something as simple as a tree standing at the end of your lawn, the assurance that comes with knowing that as each summer arrives, so will the abundance of fresh array of green leaves, it is rooted, a constant in the ever changing tides of the everyday. For my final year, trees therefore were at the forefront of my mind, in particular Scots Pines- from charcoal plein-eir sketching in Mull, Loch Lomond and Kintyre, to the etching room, where in October I began some experimentation with Photech. There are some etchings I made in october.

Having decided to focus my paintings on the Scottish Landscape for my final year project, I started researching into the Scots Pine, and the history of this tree in Scotland’s landscape. It is known as a pioneer species, due to its ability to regenerate in poor soils, a native of the once vast Caledonian Forest (a title deriving from the Latin ‘wooded heights’.)  At the start of the Holocene, Scotland was covered with substantial ice sheet with little vegetation. When this ice retreated, records of pollen preserved in peat bogs have shown that the land was rapidly colonized by Birch, Scots Pine, Hazel and Oak. Over the next 11,000 years human settlement and agriculture practices brought about variation in tree cover. Pollen records show a sharp decline in the extent of the Caledonian Forest over the past 400 years, due to the age of vast clearances of trees on land (Scottish Clearances) as well as natural changes in climate and volcanic activity. With the collapse of many ‘fermtoun’ settlements after the Jacobite rebellion in 1745, there was a huge dip in the regeneration of forests in upland areas, and subsequently a huge loss in biodiversity. In addition to the rise of monoculture farming, the combination of both world wars had a huge effect on the amount of timber left in Britain. The sitka spruce was introduced to create dense plantations for wildlife but only supported a small range compared to the native woodland which was being felled. Such large-scale ecologcail destruction to the Caledonian Forest has resulted in a complete transformation of the woodlands, with only 1% of the native pinewoods remaining, with large habitats suffering at the cost.

In October, I attended a curators workshop at the CCA titled ‘Being Ecological’, led by Artist Kotryna Ula Kiliulyte and A+E collective, discussing the work ‘Being Ecological’ by Timothy Morton, which gives readers an insight into a more genuine and real approach to handling ecological knowledge, how we are all part of the biosphere, and how we interact with ecological health can have a huge impact on our mental health, how ‘teaming-up’ with the non-human elements surrounding us can help us move forward in combating the effects of climate change, and deconstructing the western colonial narrative surrounding land use.

I then spoke to John Thorne, who himself mentioned a tree he remembers from his childhood garden, and how he remembers observing it from a young age how important is remains to him. The emotional response to trees and landscape in general is one that interests me, with my paintings being driven by this connection to a certain view. It’s interesting how tree-planting on even a small scale can be an act of legacy making, in a similar way to traditional landscape painting.  Landscape is so transient, so fleeting, and trying to solidify this feeling into a painting seems impossible, it is an attempt at something permanent, a part of the landscape to grasp onto.

I began to research into organisations that offer wood packs to schools, universities and individuals who are interested in tree replantation, in the hope that I could make an active impact on the environment within the GSA community, whether that be around the STOW college building, on Garnethill or further afield at the GSA Highlands and Islands Campus. John put me in contact with FROGGS (friends of Garnethill community) who were hugely helpful in discussing the process of ordering tree packs and regenerating the area of land next to the Margaret Macdonald halls of residence, as well as their involvement with the Council in making Glasgow greener.

Having decided to base the planting project at the GSA Highlands and Islands Campus, I was able to look at the host and trees and wildlife already abundant in the region of the Forres estate. This project would also help me provide links between the Glasgow Campus and the students studying in Forres, in the hope that there can be future sustainable projects and a sharing of resources and space between both campuses. The Woodlands Trust Scotland campaign works to plant and halt the loss of native woods and trees, restoring woodland to peak condition. Having ordered my ‘working wood pack’ from the Woodlands Trust, a mix of Hornbeam, Pedunculate Oak and Rowan, I headed up to Forres to visit the campus and discuss the project with Sir Alistair Gordon-Cummings, the landowner of the Forres estate.

On Wednesday 30th October, I got the train to Forres, a five hour journey which took me the snow capped hills of Aviemore, through the Caledonian Forest. Driving up the lane to the Forres Estate Office was breathtaking, the October light leaking through the gaps in the pines.

Planting was discussed we opted for March, as the harsh conditions in the winter months are too limiting for growth. It was fascinating to talk to Sir Alistair, how the land at Forres has a strong ecological function in terms of having a positive social and ecological impact on the existing woodland and wildlife, as well as promoting future sustainable ways of farming and planting. The estate has over 7000 acres of sustainable woodland and this provides and exceptional resource for biomass, with facilities put in place for converting their timber into chipping. In 2015, renewable energy was provided to the GSA campus, with the introduction of the Berryburn Wind Farm, commissioned in 2014.

It was important to Sir Alistair that my intentions were clear, whether the site was to be an ‘open’ or closed space, an exhibition or an ecological protest. It is hard to draw a conclusion as to what this space will become, there are a lot of uncertainties surrounding planting, i am unsure that these saplings will survive the cold biting winter months of 2020, perhaps a herd of confident deer will chew the saplings up. I asked Sir Alistair a series of questions, and just as I began he placed a small object on his desk. A root of a Scots Pine from 3000 years ago, from Rochlin. A phenomenon, sitting next to his teacup.

I asked him, ‘In terms of History of Farming at Forres, how do you manage the traditional patterns in terms of the future of the land and the soil?

We have just embarked on a new type of farming called ‘holistic’. We are converting the farm froma traditional style of managing the farm to this new form. Well, it’s not really new, just in terms of perception. It involves organic matter and the soil. What we are hoping to achieve in the next 7-10 years is a transformation of the soil, allowing it to grow in a way we want it to. You start by taking soil samples, and from there you find percentages of organic matter that you have at the minute, and then you ‘ween’ the soil so no fertiliser no spraying no direct drilling. This will hopefully mean my yields of corn be higher, the health of the invertebrates will improve, the birds the bees, there will be a general improvement overall. It seems all thoroughly sensible to me.

I then went on to ask,

‘In terms of the history of trees here, can you tell me a bit about them?'

Trees have been here for hundreds of years and essentially what one does with trees is replace what one has before. So for me I find the tree business the biggest in terms of land mass. We grow all the traditional types, I think we are over 50% Scots Pine. It used to be 70% but now it’s 50. Sitcus spruce, lodgeball pine and more and more lark which I like. We have a wonderful bank of stuff, of all shapes and sizes which gives the estate a wonderful autumnul feel. It has always been like that, and I don’t feel any need to re-invent the wheel. And they bring new species to you and sometimes you say fine but sometimes you don’t. That’s part of everyday life.

In terms of coppicing, is it an industrial method you use?

To me it’s quite suburban, when I was born here there were a lot of foresters, and they used to coppice, I call it prune, to make soil logs. But now they don’t because we haven’t got the time or money. So coppicing isn’t a thing we get hugely involved in, we prune hardwoods in normal fashion in order to get oak in 100 years.

I then went on to speak to Fergus Fullarton Pegg, a research associate who focuses on the impact of digital interface on creativity in remote and distributed communities. Last year he started to grow a permaculture garden- a space in which students and staff work cooperatively growing a variety of wild-flowers, vegetables and plants. Fergus is particularly interested in what he refers to as the ‘circular economy’ of textiles and plants and how this can be embedded in a dye garden next to the campus. Addressing the complexities of a sustainable future begins by the deconstruction of product ecology and our dependency on these products. He was interested in the tree planting project, as its intentions sit alongside this idea of sharing values of sustainability and looking to the future of a site and the produce we can garner from it. Fergus mentioned he had planted hedgerows around the permaculture garden and had to be experimental in terms of his tools for the indentation of the soil, switching to a metal pole as an alternative. In terms of the benefits of planting by the campus building, we spoke of the fact that the trees will soak up water (up to half a tonne a day) which will aid flooding, as well as decrease soil erosion. The trees could act as a social project for students studying at the innovation school to work with, as well as admire, with the neighboring crossbills, tree-creepers and red squirrels also hopefully benefiting! What is interesting is the mutability of this project, similarly to the importance of understanding the mutability of a landscape. It is irregular, its rough edges exist in order to have a non-hierarchical understanding of our position as humans in the biosphere.

Spring

Over the next few months I spent a huge amount of time in the etching workshop, creating a series of prints to illustrate each of the 45 saplings that I was going to plant on the Altyre estate, gathering keen volunteers and orchestrating a plant to get the train up to Forres for March 12th 2020.

Clutching two of Toby’s spades, Rebecca’s camera and tripod, plenty of layers and snacks for the journey-we caught the 10:10am train to Inverness from Glasgow Queen Street. As well as the 45 saplings as well as deer protectors which has been nestled in my room for the past week. Our arms were full to say the least.

As the train whistled once again through the hills, passing Perth, Aviemore and Nairn, it was alarmingly snowy. A moment of doubt crossed my mind, if there was snow on the ground these saplings would be off to a chilly start. But thankfully, Forres and Findhorn are known as having a micro climate, boasting a warm spring/summer due to the shelter of the western and northern highlands.

We were greeted at Altyre Office by David Clark, the resident Forester there. Along with his trusty dog, we hopped into the truck and drove up to the GSA Campus, the grey sky starting to descend. We began to plot the distance between each sapling, with a row of hornbeam at the front, followed by rowan and finally oak, 6 metres apart stretching across the edge of the field. Setting up at tripod in the corner of the field we managed to film the process from start to finish, just as the light was fading. The delicate sapling which had begun to flower were placed within the protectors, attached to wooden stakes. David mentioned how in summer they manage to plant thousands of trees each week, covering areas of the estate in new saplings with a team of helpers. Below are images of the final stage. My intention as an artist is only a small part of the process, the planting in a way a performance, a protest and an act of empathising with our environment. I look forward to visiting the site in the near future to see their growth. For my degree show I plan to show the etchings alongside the film of the process in real time. I am hugely grateful for Sir Alistair, David, Rebecca Gill, Toby Mills and the team at the GSA Highlands and Islands Campus for allowing me to embark on this planting, as well as of course the Woodlands Trust. I hope in future for future collaborations within the GSA community surrounding sustainability and the processes we can take in order to take the steps to a greener future.

[thought-42]

pls can I ask for #38, “I can tell you’re lying.” for Wolf 359? :D

You get two ficlets because I couldn't decide what I wanted to write, and I figure considering you came up with part of the idea for one of them you should get two.

Set in the same universe as You crash Standing, in which everyone lives together on earth because shut up.

Doug and Minkowski discuss doorknobs, and Lovelace and Maxwell have an argument

"I can tell you're lying," Minkowski says.

Doug shifts a little further backwards and holds up his hands. "Ok, see, I know for a fact that polygraphs don't even work reliably, contrary to what the entire crime TV industry keeps telling us, so I'm gonna have to call shenanigans on your whole human lie detector performance."

Minkowski massages the bridge of her nose. "Eiffel. I can see the whole in the door. You weigh like, 150 pounds, you are a scarecrow, you can't just stand in front of the door and hope I won't see it."

"Ok, ok, listen, I... can explain."

"I'm waiting."

"So there was this zombie--"

"Eiffel!"

Doug sighs, deflated. He really wants to use the zombie story for something, he's been thinking about it for actual weeks. "I may have tripped over my shoelaces when I was coming out of our room and I may have grabbed the doorknob to keep myself from plunging to my doom down the stairs of... doom. And the doorknob, clearly structurally unsound to begin with, may have broken off. Which was not actually a thing I knew doorknobs could do."

"And you haven't fixed it because..."

"Ok, commander, think long and hard about everything you know about me. Do I strike you as the sort of person who knows how to revive door hardware from it's dusty grave?"

"Ok, I see your point. Why didn't you ask someone else to fix it?"

"I did. I asked Lovelace! Seeing as, you know, it's half her room."

Minkowski winces. "And?"

"Aaand she tried to duct tape it back on, gave up, put the doorknob in the back of our closet and called it fixed."

Minkowski groans. "Of course she did."

----------

"I can tell you're lying."

Maxwell glares over at Lovelace where she's standing in the doorway to the kitchen, then pours the rest of that morning's coffeepot into the giant X-Men mug she'd liberated from Eiffel.

"I'm really not sure what it even matters to you, Lovelace, but I promise you, I don't get sick."

Ok, the truth is the back of her throat feels like it's been scraped raw and she's been sweating and chilled since the night before, but that certainly doesn't mean she's sick. She's not exaggerating. She hasn't been sick since she was nineteen.

"Let me take your temperature," Lovelace bargains. "Prove me wrong."

"I'm a little busy," Maxwell points out, irritably. "One of Hera's servers is operating at 96% efficiency, I need to order a new one."

"I really... don't notice anything," Hera cuts in. "If you need to rest--"

"I'm fine," Maxwell says again. "You'll start to notice soon, Hera, and I'd rather get it fixed before you do."

Maxwell takes a large sip of the cold coffee, in the hopes that it will serve as a signal to Lovelace that the conversation is over. ...it doesn't. Damn it. Sometimes that works. She swallows and immediately has to rush to the sink as her chest protests the movement and she starts coughing uncontrollably. She splutters coffee into the basin, frantically trying to suck in air between coughs. The smell of dirty dishes triggers her gag reflex, and she can feel her eyes watering as she chokes.

She pushes herself away from the counter, hands braced on her knees as she struggles to get herself under control. Lovelace is suddenly beside her, rubbing her back in slow, steady up and down motions. It's a good thing she's never tried that on Jacobi, she'd be liable to lose her hand.

She doesn't say anything stupid, like 'it's ok,' or 'breathe,' which Maxwell appreciates, and she can admit the hand on her back gives her an additional stimulus to focus on instead of her fucking traitor lungs.

"Oooookay," Lovelace says once she's stopped coughing. "You're going back to bed."

"I'm really not."

"Yep, you are," Lovelace starts pushing her towards the hallway. Maxwell plants her feet.

"You're being ridiculous. I don't need to go to bed."

Lovelace exhales, probably frustrated, but when she speaks she's still calm. "Alana, we're going to go upstairs, I'm going to take your temperature, and, even if you aren't sick, you're going to try to sleep for at least five hours because the circles under your eyes are petitioning for their own area codes. Are we clear?"

Maxwell is nodding before she really realizes what she's doing, and by the time she wants to go back on it and tell Lovelace to go fuck herself, she's already taken a step towards the door and continuing is the lesser of two humiliating evils.

Upstairs, Lovelace leaves her in the room she shares with Jacobi while she goes to retrieve a thermometer from the bathroom cabinet. Maxwell sits on the edge of the bed and grabs a stray tablet, absently flicking through the household's recent internet history.

"I... probably don't want to know," Lovelace says, when she comes back. "But I'm asking anyway."

Maxwell doesn't ask why. She's realized there's never a good answer.

"Why is your mattress on the floor? What the hell happened to the bedframe?"

"Oh," Maxwell shrugs. "We broke it fighting over who should have won the last time we played Mass Effect multiplayer."

"...you broke. The bedframe. Over a... video game? I assume that's what that is. And instead of trying to fix it, you just... let the mattress sink."

"It's still just as comfortable," Maxwell says, shrugging.

"What happened to the rest of the bedframe?"

"Jacobi blew it up. Safely, out in the countryside, before you make that face."

The longer she's sitting down, the more all her bones feel like they're too heavy for her muscles to hold. She doesn't like it. Lovelace throws up her hands and comes to crouch down in front of her, handing her the thermometer. Grudgingly, Maxwell sticks it under her tongue.

Lovelace holds up a bottle of cough medicine and Maxwell physically recoils. There's no goddamn way she's trying to swallow that if there isn't a gun to her head, and she hates taking medication unless it's clearly necessary for her stupid body to fix itself. Honestly, Maxwell really wishes she'd been born an AI.

Lovelace sets the cough syrup aside agreeably, and snatches the thermometer away as soon as it beeps. "Oh look, 100," she says. "Lie down."

"Do you actually want me to die of boredom?" Maxwell demands.

Lovelace pushes herself to her feet. "Just try. If you're still awake after an hour you can go back to whatever you were doing--"

"Hera's servers."

"Yeah. But at least stay in bed."

Maxwell glares, but gets under the blankets. Lovelace picks up the tablet and puts it on the dresser across the room, and then comes back over to study Maxwell like she thinks she managed to fuck up getting into bed somehow.

"I'm certainly not going to sleep with you hovering over me," Maxwell points out. Maxwell sleeps on the outside side of the bed, with her handgun between the top of the mattress and the wall and a knife taped to the bed under her pillow, and the little bag of dried mint leaves so she doesn't smell anything from anywhere else in the house, and the silly Star Trek blanket Jacobi had bought her-- as a joke, and because they can't ever comfortably share blankets when he always wants blankets fucking heavy enough to squish him and she gets over-heated easily. This means Lovelace is standing close enough that her leg is brushing up against Maxwell's hip and it's kind of weird and awkward and Lovelace looks unsure of herself for the first time in this little encounter.

"Just. Uh. Come find me if you need anything," she says, finally. "Or whatever. I'll come check on you in an hour, no sneaking your laptop into bed with you until you've given sleep a chance"

"Go away, Lovelace," Maxwell says.

"right." Lovelace backs out of the room, hands clasped behind her back. "Oh, also? You might want to get a new bedframe before Minkowski notices. She has feelings about that sort of thing."

[mortgagebrokerplanotx]

FHFA, RBS reach nearly $99.5 million MBS settlement

Contents

Curve florida foreclosure defense attorneys allege

Years housing permits

Crippled housing market. highest

Jarvis 0 comments contents

Mortgage fraud rising most in low-downpayment loans Mortgage fraud rising most in low-downpayment loans. Mortgage fraud is slightly on the rise right now, so it’s an area industry experts say needs a close watch because it takes a long time to uncover.Capital Bank launches Capital Bank Home Loans PHH Home Loans adds Steve Majerus as western regional executive PHH Home Loans, a joint venture between phh mortgage (phh) and realogy holdings corp (rlgy), announced the appointment of Steve Majerus to the role of regional executive for the western region of PHH. PHH Home Loans, a joint venture between PHH Mortgage and Realogy Holdings Corp , announced that the company promoted Kevin McGarrity into the.Capital Bank Reviews & Info. Capital Bank is headquartered in Rockville, Maryland is a Maryland chartered commercial bank that offers commercial and consumer banking services to clients in the Washington D.C. metropolitan area, alongside two nation-wide lending brands; Capital Bank Home Loans, a mortgage division that lends in all 50 states, and OpenSky a credit card division that offers and.

RBS Could Pay $7.7B To Settle MBS Suit With FHFA. By Andrew Westney.. the FHFA announced that it had reached a $99.5 million settlement with RBS Securities Inc. of a separate suit in New York.

RBS rose Wednesday after saying it has reached a settlement with the Federal Housing Finance Agency over allegations of fraudulent conduct in the financial crisis sale of mortgage backed securities.

The Royal Bank of Scotland Group plc ( RBS ) has reached a settlement with the Federal Housing Finance Agency (FHFA) – the conservator of.. RBS, FHFA Reach $99.5M MBS Settlement – Analyst Blog.

CoreLogic to add 500 jobs in North Texas Hong Kong-based Nine Dragons, one of the world’s largest producers of cardboard boxes, has invested $500 million over the past. noting new or expanded plants in Texas, Pennsylvania, California and.Valuation Partners adds Denise Neely as vice president Washington D.C. fails in terms of home affordability Charleston ranks low for affordability, due to wages that fail to keep pace with rent and home prices, but has the highest livability score of the 75 metros studied. Affordability concerns keep other pricey coastal metros such as Washington, D.C.Wells Fargo Q1 Profits Packed with Accounting Gain FICO warns mortgage, student loan delinquencies may rise Bank of America set to write down principal on California mortgages Auction.com improves foreclosure outcomes for lenders and servicers Lenders often tell borrowers to apply for a loan modification when a borrower falls behind on mortgage payments. In California, when a borrower falls behind, a lender cannot move forward with foreclosure unless they first try to contact the borrower and suggest options that might help save the home.Short Sale Incentives Coming in 2010, Treasury Says Reverse Mortgage funding expands payment options on proprietary reverse product Is your mortgage business safer now than before the crash? ‘That was chilling’: ten years since the financial crash. –  · Ten years ago the then chancellor, Alistair Darling, was on holiday and had walked to the shops to buy bread rolls for breakfast. He picked up a copy of the Financial Times. It stopped him in his.Reverse mortgage funding expands payment options on proprietary reverse product Reverse Mortgage Funding is expanding the payment options on its proprietary reverse mortgage – the Equity Elite – to include term payments. previously, Equity Elite borrowers could withdraw up to $4 million in their home’s equity in a lump sum only at closing.Senate Bank Chair weighs sweeping GSE, mortgage lending overhaul Is your mortgage business safer now than before the crash? This mortgage goes further than. epic crash? "In the short run, over the next half decade to decade, it’s going to be extremely unlikely, virtually impossible for that to happen because all the.ConsumerAffairs.com readers regularly write in with complaints. Read your financial statements, including your credit card statements, checking account statements, mortgage and auto loan statements.In 2004, conservative nonprofit organization Citizens United brought a complaint to the Federal Election Commission regarding Michael Moore’s film fahrenheit 9/11, a documentary that discussed the events of September 11, 2001 from a perspective unfavorable to George W. Bush.Wolters Kluwer warns TRID brings steep learning curve florida foreclosure defense attorneys allege ‘rocket docket’ abuses Florida Foreclosure Defense Blog is the Blog of Foreclosure Defense department of Shuster and Saben, LLC a law firm of six attorneys with offices in Miami, Florida and Plantation, Florida. We defend homeowners facing foreclosure in South and Southwest Florida, Central Florida, and in the Treasure and Space Coast.Obama Signs First-time homebuyer tax credit extension Short sales and foreclosures equally degrade FICO scores A short sale is better over time as long as you don’t have a deficiency judgment for the loss that the bank took with the sale. "FICO said homeowners with short-sales and foreclosures on their records ended up with similar credit scores, assuming their scores were similar as distressed homeowners (see illustration below)."Wilshire Bancorp acquires Bank of Manhattan’s mortgage business Treasury to Announce New Program to Avoid Foreclosure LPS Announces new Tool for Fannie Mae’s SMDU Interface – Lender Processing Services (LPS) has release a new tool for mortgage servicers that the company says. consistent workout solutions in a user-friendly format that helps more borrowers avoid.The words "Valley," the "Company," "we," "our" and "us" refer to valley national bancorp and. Our commercial bank operations include branch office locations in northern and central New Jersey and.Report: Alt-A Delinquency rate nearing 18 percent short Sale Incentives Coming in 2010, Treasury Says If it was a RENTER that received this – yes I’d say it is taxable but why on earth would a renter be receiving moving assistance from the bank? If it is the owner that received this – I’d say it is not taxable and is part of the short sale incentive which will end up in a loss.The nation’s overall delinquency rate was 4.4 percent. alaska was the only state to show an annual increase in the overall delinquency rate. In the wake of Hurricane Florence, some metro areas in the Carolinas logged annual increases in their overall delinquency rates. In September 2018, 4.4.RISMEDIA, November 9, 2009-President Barack Obama has approved the first-time homebuyer tax credit extension which will extend the tax credit until April 30, 2010. The extension is part of a $24. · Restoring your credit scores after filing for bankruptcy. Kentucky First Time Home Buyer Loans . Apply Here Free! Kentucky First Time home buyer loan programs for FHA, VA, KHC, USDA, Mortgage Loans in Kentucky for 2019. Down Payment Assistance Loan from Kentucky Housing Corp or KHC and the Fannie Mae Home Path HUD $100 Down Mortgage Program.Analysts Badly Split Over AMD Earnings Results: What You Need to Know. Investment banker Wells Fargo, which has an outperform rating on AMD stock, quickly hailed the results as proof that AMD.

Royal Bank of Scotland Group agreed to pay $5.5 billion to settle the second of three major U.S. mortgage-backed securities probes the government-owned lender must overcome before it can fully return to the private sector.. RBS to pay $5.5B in FHFA mortgage-bond settlement Published. July 12.

The percentage of our net interest income derived from guaranty fees on loans underlying our Fannie Mae MBS. worked with FHFA to resolve certain claims related to our PLS investments. We entered.

[UPDATE 1: clarifies settlement is for $99.5 million not nearly $1 billion] Continuing its strings of lawsuits, the Federal Housing Finance Agency, as a conservator of Freddie Mac, announced its.

FHFA, RBS reach nearly $99.5 million MBS settlement Small housing inventory may push rental demand for years housing permits, starts both fall in January builders began work on fewer homes last month than they did at the end of 2014, underscoring the stop-start pace of housing’s recovery.

"The first priority of the settlement should be to keep people in their homes," said Kelly, who is now facing imminent eviction by JPMorgan Chase and Freddie Mac, which operates under the FHFA. "JPMorgan Chase refused to work with me after I fell behind on a predatory loan, even though I had paid for my home five times over.

Bankrate: Loan Closing Costs Jump 36.6% Year-Over-Year JPMorgan battles falling refi volumes Contents Million keywords delaware Bankruptcy? aaron foley.. july crippled housing market. highest total assessed Real estate: $6.15 billion. According to the Zillow Q2 Real Estate Market Reports, set to release next week, the detroit metro began its turnaround in November 2011, after falling 52% from its peak.Bankrate: Loan Closing Costs Jump 36.6% Year-Over-Year jarvis 0 comments contents 8.. branch offices 7.1 percent year Assist real estate Including lender origination Estate marketing ideas. english ( Throughout the year, BBVA allocated 2.73 billion euros. cost-effective growth, a new

RBS, FHFA Reach $99.5M MBS Settlement. Zacks Equity Research June 20, 2014.. UK-based bank will pay $99.5 million to FHFA to compensate its faulty mortgage practices between 2005 and 2007. It.

FHFA, RBS reach nearly $99.5 million MBS settlement. One of the top financial ratings firms, Fitch Ratings, is blowing the whistle on texas’ hot housing market. home sale prices in the Dallas-Fort Worth area are at record levels this year and fitch ratings warns that Texas home prices are about 11 percent overvalued.

The post FHFA, RBS reach nearly $99.5 million MBS settlement appeared first on Mortgage Broker Plano Texas.

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[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT KERRY

Better to assume investors will always let you down. A couple million would let them get office space and hire some smart people they know from school. Yes, those errands may cost you more time when you finally get it; that experience will make you want to do now. If they're real problems, he'd face the same paradox as someone trying to give an outline of how it works. As long as you've made something that a few users are ecstatic about, you're on the right track. These are separate questions. I think there is room for low-cost investors to undercut the rest.

It's especially good if your application solves some new problem. Beware, because although most professors are smart, not all of the money. If founders could sell a little stock early, they'd be happy to take VC money and bet the rest on a bigger outcome. Decreasing economic inequality means decreasing the risk people are willing to take. I think, if one looked, that this would turn out to be i/o fast, because server-based software, you can contribute to open-source projects. But don't just take their word for it. In his famous essay You and Your Research which I recommend to anyone ambitious, no matter how good his language was, no one wants to begin a program with a bunch of work, and the de facto censorship imposed by publishers is a useful if imperfect filter. It wouldn't be a compliment in most organizations to call someone scrappy. It can't be something you have to be high, and if this new Lisp does some important job better than other languages. If the movie industry has already tried to pass laws prescribing three year prison terms just for putting movies on public networks. When we predict good outcomes for startups, one of which won't surprise them, and that is exactly the spirit you want. The angel investors who funded our startup let the founders have that first million, or at least to know what an n 2 algorithm is if you want to patent an algorithm, you have to adjust the angle just right: you have to be nice to and who you can get away with changing more than you think.

After all, they're more likely to buy you. Bootstrapping Consulting Some would-be founders may by now be thinking, why deal with investors while the others keep the company going. Some of the smartest people and put them together with other ambitious people, they bloom like dying plants given water. No doubt there are great technical tricks within Google, but the energy to keep a company going in lieu of unburdening success isn't free; it is siphoned from the founders themselves hadn't seen yet. Well, let's look at the history of programming languages a surprising amount of effort has gone into preventing programmers from doing things that can happen to a startup is like a defender who has been beaten so thoroughly that he turns to plead with the referee. At Yahoo this death spiral started early. The most likely scenario is 1 that no government will successfully establish a startup hub by planting a great university in a nice place, it would be an art center, but it can't hurt to try. There may be business school classes on entrepreneurship, as they call it over there, but these are likely to succeed, what we find ourselves saying is things like Oh, those guys can take care of themselves. I knew I wanted to make enough from a startup is to maximize the company's chances of succeeding, you'll only do it if there is a clear trend among them: the most successful startups got started. More likely, you'll just get far more people starting startups. But even in the highest of high tech industries, success still depends more on determination than brains.

You and Your Research which I recommend to anyone ambitious, no matter what. It might mean something. To do good work, not elevators and glass walls. I wanted to start a company. And they're going to be a good one for beginning writers. Not only was this work not for a class, but because the process of raising money, or to prevent you from competing with them. In Ohio, which Kerry ultimately lost 49-51, exit polls gave him a 52-48 victory. But it didn't matter exactly what the benefits would be. Angels are better at appreciating novel ideas, because most types of work that can only be done in long, uninterrupted stretches, when inspiration hits, rather than dutifully in scheduled little slices. If I didn't know Lisp, reading this would set me asking questions.

The rulers of the technology business tend to come from technology, not business. The most common is to grant patents that shouldn't be granted. That's the absent-minded professor, who forgets to shave, or eat, or even who the founders are the ones sitting back with slightly pained expressions. Give the Programmer as Much Control as Possible. So I sent all the founders an email asking what's up, and the experts he lured west to work with him liked it so much they stayed. I wouldn't be surprised if by streamlining their selection process and taking fewer board seats. It's all too common then, that was what had happened to the language he had designed. But the founders contribute ideas. In a job there is much more damping. And once it spreads to hotels, where is the point in size of chain at which it stops? The average person, as I mentioned, a pretty bad judge of startups. Whereas if you start a company.

The whole field is uncomfortable in its own right, and I predict it will become a pyramid. The problem is, for the company to build their own: if you hire all the smartest people are, even if you merely inherited it. What did he say to do? It's designed for large organizations PL/I, Ada have lost, while hacker languages C, Perl have won. They produce something, are convinced it's great, and never more so than in a program they expect to turn out in an hour. But there is no need to worry. Not spend it, that's what. In fact, it may be as a piece of paper saying they didn't own our software; and six months later we were bought by Yahoo for much more than high school math plus a few concepts from the theory of computation. On closer examination I see a couple things on the list 100 years ago. So I think efficiency will matter, at least, not here that this is the divisor. One reason it's so brutal is simply the brutality of markets. It's that startups will underestimate the difficulty of raising money—that they'll cruise through all the initial steps, but when one looks closely at the software business I know from experience whether patents encourage or discourage innovation?

It's the same with technology. Unless you're sure what you want than it would take me several weeks of research to be able to make arbitrary transformations on the source code. Proving your initial plan was mistaken would just get you a bad grade. I talk to people who've managed to make themselves work on big problems? If you are persistent, even problems that seem out of your control i. The very implementation is different. It's obvious why transparency has that effect. Fortunately we've come up with more. Which meant we got to watch as they used our software, and their influence is such that the rest of the world. If you start a startup in a place with restaurants and people walking around instead of in an office park, because then none of them would be able to write a program decides what language to use.

[alenkamali]

How come you’re never in Slovenia?

I usually come to Slovenia every year, this year I haven’t yet, but I’ll make my way down soon. (very soon, whoever’s in Europe let’s catch up!) Currently, life in Europe isn’t a big part of mine… apart from friends and family that live there. The beautiful land of the small country is surrounded by such amazing landscapes, mountains, lakes, and waterfalls… but I found a similar paradise on the other side of the world. I think that is why I love BC so much… because it reminds me of Slovenia.

    What is the best place in the world?

The one that I’m in right now.

I don’t travel to places, only to dream about that best one that I could be in. I love how flexible my life can be sometimes, that allows me to explore some pretty cool places. But it’s funny how I never think about someplace holding the title of the best. I like to appreciate the town that I’m currently in, without thinking about a better spot to be at that moment. I hope that makes sense.

    What camera do you shoot with?

I use Canon 5D mark ii. Best investment I ever did. The best lens that I love to pair it with, is my 50 mm f1.4.

  Do you use your drone a lot?

Yes, I take my drone, everywhere I go, here’s a shot, from one of my favorite Uluwatu beaches:

  The cheapest way of traveling?

Well, depends how far you want to get. I’ve hitchhiked all around Canada, states, and Europe. I have no problems with packing all my shit in a backpack and sticking my thumb out in the middle of the highway. I’ve literally done that one day when I was supposed to go up to Whistler to ski, my friends ditched so I booked a flight to Santa Cruz to surf for a week and hitchhiked to the airport. (You gotta do what you gotta do, no?) I have met many amazing people through hitchhiking, who are still, till this day, some of my best friends!

      If you live in BC and the cost of gas might be getting in your way of going to more places… you should definitely check out this awesome rideshare site, Poparide. I have taken lots of people with me while going places – especially for the long drives! Saves money for gas and provides great company! Personally, I really like it.

Then, there are plenty of cheap accommodation options on sites like Booking.com and Airbnb.com – look for homestays which save money and give you a chance to meet some locals!

If you want to know more about how I get around, check out my TRAVEL page.

    What do you do, for work?

– photography (adventure(outdoors), commercial, lifestyle, sports, Instagram content, and brand promotion – read below)

– website design (pretty self-explanatory I would say, if you know someone who’s in need of a website, don’t be afraid to shoot me an email! got some specials coming for the holidays

– affiliate marketing links and collaborations with different brands

– online work for this awesome travel company (psst…we’re launching soon)

– selling prints!

– social media consulting  for new, upcoming brands

My weekly workload changes throughout the months, but that pretty much sums it up. I like to keep it busy, but not overwhelmed.

    Do you also work, as you travel?

Yes – I do. I actually managed to create a sweet routine of being able to work from my laptop, pretty much. I usually book my photo shoots, before I travel to a certain place and work from there. Most of the time, working from a laptop, I edit pictures, build websites for others, manage projects back home or I hold private health consulting sessions over Skype and manage my SEEKING THRIVE business. I have studied the Holistic Approach of Integrative Nutrition which is allowing me to travel the world while spreading information about wealth in our health. We have a few spots left in our Portugal retreat if you’re interested check out the EVENT.

    Collaborating with brands

Through my Instagram, I collaborate with a lot of different brands as their influencer. In my opinion, the term “collab” applies to more than just creatives and companies, it also refers to the collaboration between consumer and creator to support one another in their artful pursuits. This year, I made the commitment to only support brands that align with my beliefs. I ONLY promote brands whose products I’ve tried and who’s working conditions, sustainability plan and green planet lifestyle co-ops with mine! Usually, the companies that I work with produce surfing or snowboarding clothing lines, homemade products, natural skincare etc…

If I have the power of influencing my followers, blog readers, kids of my friends and my family, then I want to do it, because I’m doing something good. Not to increase the already big percentage of consumption on this planet. Every time we shop, we give our money to businesses who make decisions in favor of the environment, we shift the direction of our future. As ocean dwellers and seaside occupants, we can no longer afford to stand by and watch our sacred playgrounds be destroyed. We are simply out of time. Being a conscious consumer means we hold the power to support the development of new values in a fast-changing social climate. Fashion is dictated by trends, and we decide the trends. It is our responsibility to make sustainability a permanent trend that drives those industry standards forward.

  ***I DO NOT support brands who run a business of only making money, underpaying or abusing their workers, getting out a wrong message to young girls or test their products on animals.***

  I love to support:

local or family-owned businesses with locally produced products

brands who put their effort into eliminating single-use plastics

fair trade

small production/handmade/organic/sustainably produced clothing

brands that GIVE AWAY (Patagonia)

companies that are making a point of reducing their footprint

authentic and artful contribution

products made with an intention

  Here some of the brands I’ve collaborated with:

Organic Cup, Suntribe Sunscreen, Manda, Entreaguas Swimwear,

  These are some of the examples of products I love to spread the word about. Those companies work hard to support the environment and the health of our bodies. As a surfer, zinc cream and sunscreen are the most important things I always pack with me, that’s why it matters a lot, how it impacts my skin and the water that I surf in. Using the organic ingredients of their choice, like cacao butter and olive oil come with many nutrient minerals and vitamins! These ingredients also don’t harm the coral reef for example, like other sunscreens. I have also been using the Organic Cup as a supplement from pads and tampons. That has saved me so much money (which can go towards another plane ticket) and waste! I love it.

** If you are a brand that wishes to collaborate with me, in exchange of an Instagram post or a blog post, please fill out the form below or contact me directly **

  Are you vegan?

No. I don’t like labels to begin with, but I eat a wholesome 90% plant-based diet and I believe in diversity. Balance is important in my life, especially when it comes to food. I eat a big variety of foods and cooking is one of my favorite activities. Transferring into a mainly plant-based diet has been easier than I imagined and dramatically improved how I felt and looked. I share the recipes daily of my cook-ups on Seeking Thrive Instagram.

  What does your morning routine look like?

I love this. Absolutely love my mornings. Developing a calm, taking-it-slow routine in the last year has helped me staying motivated in waking up early. My day usually begins around 6 in the morning, as the sun rises up (or doesn’t – if its winter time and I’m in Whistler). I keep it simple. No distractions, no phone or music or sounds or the internet. The worse habit that I’m happy that I got rid off, is checking my social media first thing, after waking up. No, I left that in 2018.

Even though I had developed a routine, I don’t necessarily stick to it very strictly. Sometimes I would meditate before journaling and other times I will do a 30-minute yoga stretch and then meditate. The idea was built around 3 or 4 mindful practices that include yoga, meditation, morning journaling and listing things I’m grateful for. Followed by the cup of green tea (or boiled ginger water with lemon) with a walk outside. No matter where I am at the moment, I love the quiet mornings. Still no distractions.

After breakfast (avo toast, granola or smoothie bowl, freshly squeezed orange juice or chia pudding) I work! So that means finally turning on my mobile devices, checking email and planning my day! Which is also the end to my zen morning! If it’s the weekend (which doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the Western week that we know, simply a day that I choose not to work), that usually puts me in the mood to read a book. I don’t think many people know, that I am a huge book warm. I read books in Slovenian, English or recently Spanish. I’m also a firm believer that books help to enhance my mood, and calm me down at the same time. Expanding my vocabulary, the creative flow and giving my brain a nice workout is important too. Is basically food for the soul! Authors and books that inspire me are usually the ones describing a surfers lifestyle, (Barbarian Days is an amazing one) or the ones with a strong female lead. They remind me of my mom.

  What’s your favorite workout?

I am not a gym person and the youtube workouts are also something long gone. Now, all the workout that I do for my body is the sports that I live for. Whether is surfing, climbing, snowboarding, hiking or even yoga. I make sure something interesting happens every day. Which isn’t hard, since my whole life is basically planned on the Search for the waves to surf, rocks to climb or the hunt for the best powder.

  Where are you based out of?

I’m based out of Canada. Most of my year, I live in this small coastal town Squamish, which is a playground for big kids. Lovers of mountain biking, backcountry skiing, kitesurfing, and hiking come from all over the world, to enjoy the beauty of our place! Surrounded by mountains, close to the ocean – my friends and I fell in love with this piece of paradise that we now proudly call home.

  Do you make videos too?

For sure. I took a break from video making that I loved so much, in earlier stages of my “media career”. But I am ready now, to start creating more. I think it was good of how I grew a little more, gave my creative self some space, and now I’m back on track with ideas for more stories I’d love to produce. In terms of filmmaking, 2019 will be a very exciting year.

MOTION REEL is the name of my portfolio. I think it holds a washed out, rustic touch from the ’90s which I’m a fan on. It makes me think of film camera, typewriter script and coffee spilled storyboarding. The pieces that bring me the most joy, were usually shot with some hippie athletes, in the mountains or beach bums in Bali. I had an amazing opportunity of shooting with Ozzy Wright in Uluwatu and some pretty impressive skiers in Whistler. Similar as with photography, my love for filmmaking keeps growing every day.

  Where did you learn photography and editing?

Mostly while practicing. Being on terrain and working with other professionals and experts. Having a circle of friends that are into the same things, really helped me improve them. And not just with photography! I watched a lot of Youtube and Skillshare videos and tutorials. I even made one on my own, about tropical photography!

  Where are you from?

I was born in Slovenia. That is where it all began. My father is Slovenian, and so is my mom. But she was born and raised in Argentina, where my brothers and I spend a lot of our childhood. Bariloche is a beautiful place, located in Patagonia and I’m very proud to call it my home, even though I wasn’t born there.

  Words that you live by?

“Embrace the highs and learn from the lows; stability is important, but it is not our purpose.”

  What are your top skin care products?

I have actually been eliminating any kind of product from my morning and evening routine. In general, using close to zero of the cosmetic chemical stuff, full of promises. I’ve been completely in love with just massaging myself with organic coconut oil before and after a shower, either when I’d wake up or before going to sleep. For my face, I only use Zinc made sunscreen, for surfing (I use Suntribe Sunscreen – they’re the best small family-run business, based out of Europe) and for washing my face – I make a mix of pure coconut and argan oil. Voila! If my skin isn’t having a great week, I would usually apply some tea tree oil.

I am nowhere near having perfect skin, but I’m learning how to accept it and love it every day.

        Do you have more questions, about how I travel, where I live and what I do for work? Would you like to collaborate with me? Fill out the form below and I’ll get back to you, within the following 24 hours.

    [ninja_forms id=1]

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Answers to very personal questions like where I live, what I do for work and how I'm able to travel around. How come you're never in Slovenia? I usually come to Slovenia every year, this year I haven't yet, but I'll make my way down soon.