#pls do not make chronically ill people work all week. do not make anyone work all week | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

atlas-of-a-human-soul · 2 years ago

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your answer made me tear up too, i don't think anyone has cared enough to ask how i've been in so long. i feel like the bad days are permanent, they seem to appear so often i just can't bear it anymore. i try to hold out hope but maybe i'm just kidding myself. i've been so sad for so long, i don't even remember how to be happy. and that makes me so sad. that the thought of passing away seems so much more of a relief than to continue living. i know for a fact i failed my exams which means i'll either have to drop out or redo my exams. which also means i won't get to do placement. and if my family knows of this, i don't think i can go through that again. i can't. the pain was way too much last time, i suppressed those memories. i'm not stong enough to go through that again. i know death is the easy way out. and i'm a coward for wanting to take it but i'm so desperate. i don't want to feel the pain anymore. the numbness, the anger, the guilt, the sadness, i can't.

i'm sorry, you feel so much more comforting than my own big sisters. i don't think they even deserve that title truthfully. but thank you for letting me rant, you don't even have to post this. i don't mind. i truly hope your day today was much lighter than mine. i hope you experienced some form of happiness today. i hope you're well. love you more than words could ever say, thank you for letting me spill my words on here. please don't feel pressured to post this. i'm sorry for how weird this ask is. i'm sorry for unloading it all on to you 💕

Don't worry, you can always rant to me. Sometimes we just need to let it out, to get it off our chests because too often we don't have anyone trustworthy to talk to openly and many wouldn't understand it either. I wish I could help you through this, I'm having similar struggles too. I actually blew up my professional life a week ago because I panicked. They wanted to give me the residency I asked for after fighting with them for months and when they gave it to me I ended up not accepting (for reasons listed bellow but also because they bind you contractually for life). I just spent the last year not even living but surviving, working nights so often I didn't feel human at all and I barely saw my family (my younger niece barely knows who i am), I don't even have friends anymore because everyone kind of just gave up on me. They didn't understand how tired I was from work, I just didn't want to do anything after work. I went from a packed covid unit to urgent care back to infectious diseases and it's been so exhausting both mentally and physically and my chronic illnesses have all gone havoc in this time and I've come to realize that even though the pay is better when you work nights and on calls, my health and general well being have no price. So when my contract is up this March I'm going to be unemployed for a bit until I find a job as a GP and that's scary as hell and no one quite understands why I left a higher paying job in a hospital 20 mins away from me by foot that I lowkey dreamed about and wished for my entire life. Guess they were right when they said be careful what you wish for...I got my wish and it cost me everything else and I was miserable. If I had the option I'd leave healthcare altogether, but my background is basically a nursing degree and then a doctor's degree so I'm stuck with it...unless I marry a richy rich dude 🤣 (can I get Charles Leclerc pls) but yeah, I understand what you're going through. Life is so fucking hard all the time and most people just have to stay up float and that's it, but people like you and me are constantly swimming against the current with chains pulling us under. (There's a song by The Pretty reckless called Under the water, I recommend you listen to it, kind of like a soundtrack to this whole thing). I refuse to believe it won't get easier one day (despite my year starting with a firework going off in my face followed by a terrible case of chicken pox that made me miss a weekend trip to Austria, making my skin awful, and now a flare up in my condition), IT HAS TO GET EASIER. Until then, please reach out to me whenever you need it. It's not a burden. Hell it's like group therapy, we can commiserate together over shitshows of the day. Can even be fun? Either way, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere yet. I'll keep fighting and I really hope you will too so that one of these days we can talk about the good things we get to see and live. I'm hoping everything happens for a reason and one day that reason will be clear. 💕

#little talks #my asks and dms are always opet to everybody

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lunarreaper-ut · 3 years ago

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Do they have chronc illness? Having long(er) lives doesn't mean they can't feel it xD

So nighty, isn't corrupted but has some Kind of phantomn tentacles, interesting. Which makes me curious about killer and about his soul state? Is it like canon killer or... ??

I want to know... I really really do... Are there any rumors going around the castle? Especially about nighty and killer and their... Nightly visits~ uwu do people mistake it AS something else like *cough*naughty*cough* things or maybe believing nighty is torturing killer or idk, any Kind if ridiculous story? Do people even now that killer chills in nightys room (where he actually gets storys read by the king of night himself, lol. Its so cute i swear! Oh if they would know haha 🤭<3) And also ... Do they sometime uumm.. (Obliviously) happen to Cuddle while reading/listening to each other, sometimes???

Oh and Pls tell me... Do any of them have any Kind of habbits? Im curious^^

Ps: will u maybe make something like an relation chart someday??? Dont have to, just asking. :3

Oh these are good questions! All your questions are good but nonetheless >w<

Let's get into it!

Do the Kings have any Chronic Illnesses?

I'm not sure exactly what you mean, but I assume you're talking about like disabilities? Like how some people headcanon (me included) that the original Nightmare has back problems because of the tentacles?

If that's the case, then technically Nightmare does have one, but it's not the back issues. Nightmare has minor vision issues in his right eye, because of an injury in the past. He also has a pretty obvious scar, which makes him rather intimidating. I haven't mentioned it because I haven't finished his design yet and I haven't really had a reason to mention it >w<; (Honestly I haven't really described any of them o.o)

The Kings aren't really all that affected by their age, but they are capable of being scarred or permanently disabled. Their particularly strong immune systems also makes it hard for any serious chronic illnesses to afflict them. It's another one of those "It's not impossible, but it's certainly not likely" situations >w<

Is Killer's soul similar to his canon soul?

Yep! Killer's soul does appear outside of his body, but it is visually different from the original Killer. KV!Killer's soul seems to have a white pupil, like an eye! Killer is also able to move his soul around slightly, though only to position it differently around his body. (Such as moving it into the palm of his hand, or around his torso, though it takes a fair bit of effort and he never has a reason to do so.)

Killer's soul is also similar in that it can change into a heart shape when he's feeling particularly positive feelings!

Are there any rumors about Killer and Nightmare's late night visits?

Thankfully for them, no not yet! People don't really pay much attention to the King of the Night or his Guard, and Nightmare usually stays in his office until most of the staff have already gone to sleep. (He works late, Killer has been trying to break him out of the habit.)

Killer and Nightmare already walk around and spend a lot of time together (Since Killer is his Royal Guard), so the idea that Killer would escort Nightmare to his room isn't unsurprising even if someone saw them. If someone were to see Killer going into Nightmare's room, they'd probably just assume it was for some sort of check or precaution. Killer doesn't really sleep in there often either, so there's never been an incident of someone seeing him come out of Nightmare's room in the morning.

Do they cuddle during their late night visits?

Hehe >w< Killer tries to respect Nightmare's boundaries, so he doesn't really do a lot of physical contact with the King, but there are some times where they're a bit more comfortable with each other~! Killer might lean against Nightmare while he reads, or even lay his head in Nightmare's lap when he's feeling particularly bold, and Nightmare allows it.

When he asked what Killer was doing, he just said he was getting comfortable, and Nightmare left it at that. If Nightmare were to ever initiate any physical affection, Killer wouldn't even question it, and would just enjoy it!

So they don't really full on cuddle (yet), but there's some physical affection >w<

Do any of them have any habits?

I assume this is for the main four, so I'll go ahead and answer for those four!

Nightmare

Nightmare has a habit of working late (as previously mentioned). By the time he's finished, most of the castle have retired for the evening (other than those who work night shifts.) He's also developed the habit of scanning the rooms he enters before fully stepping in. That developed because of the assassination attempts.

Nightmare also has the habit (in private) of holding or squeezing comfort items, like the plushy he was gifted. If he can't do that, he taps surfaces. It usually ends up making him look impatient.

Dream

Dream has a habit of talking over people sometimes. He doesn't really mean to, and has been working to fix it. Being the King, he's never really had to fight for someone to listen, so he sometimes forgets that he should be the one listening. He mostly does this to Nightmare, but it truly isn't intentional.

He also has gained the habit of needing to touch Cross in some way if he's nervous. It's usually grabbing onto his clothes or even his hand, but having some contact with Cross is a comfort.

Cross

Cross' habits are mostly in relation to his training. He's developed such a strict routine over the years, that straying from it usually makes him feel off for the rest of the day. He has to do things a certain way or it just doesn't feel right.

Non work related habits though? Cross separates his food on his plate. He's not sure where the habit came from, but he likes keeping his food separated, even if it seems childish. He'll also end up grabbing food or drinks that Dream likes when he means to get something for himself.

Killer

Killer also has the habit of checking a room before entering it. This stems from his years running from the Guardsmen though. Not having eyelights makes it easier for him to carefully examine places or people without getting suspicious. He also habitually cleans his knives. He has to do it at least once a week, but he also does it when he's bored with nothing else to do.

If he's able to, Killer will count the people in the rooms he enters too, and keeps track of who leaves and who comes in. He makes note of people who might be issues, and never lets anyone get within a certain distance of Nightmare without him being certain they can't or won't do harm.

Most if not all of Killer's habits are related to his past or his current job, but there is one that I can think of that isn't job related! Killer has the habit of looking at Nightmare after he tells a joke or a pun. He wants to see Nightmare's reactions.

As for the relationship chart? I'm not sure! I could do one, I just haven't done one before so I dunno how I'd set it up >w<

#answered asks #Kingdomverse?#Kingdomverse #KV!Nightmare #KV!Killer #KV!Dream #KV!Cross #killermare

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goldkirk · 4 years ago

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Okay okay so i don’t even remember what I last said on here, it’s been a wild week or whatever that it’s been since I was last logged in for real, uh, UPDATES

tomorrow is my birthday and I am very confused by that fact seeing as I still think it’s May and not, you know, two seasons away from that month, what a year, right. I have enough messages from you hooligans shouting at me about it that I’m gonna concede reluctant defeat and link my kofi and Amazon wishlist that’s got random stuff for me and my soon-to-come ESA puppy on it, but also I AM FINE I WILL BE OKAY NO ONE NEEDS TO GET ME THINGS I have enough saved up for a couple months of job hunting and you people are too nice already, keep your money for yourselves if you can, this is a hard year okay, I love you, pls look out for yourselves and your families first of all (and if you’re really determined, maybe donate to wildfire relief or mental health foundations instead?)

SECONDLY I am WORKING on writing, it’s happening very slowly, but I’m having a day here and there where my brain is clear enough to do it, so expect a chapter of hymn within 1-2 weeks I think. Not a big fancy one, but—something at least! A chill chapter, a downtime one, I’ve written too much angst in there lately hshdjjfjfk Tim needs a break I am so sorry

THIRDLY, uh, I don’t remember what I was going to say here, but I will instead say that I’ve started getting into art and it’s like the only think I’ve felt like doing lately besides occasionally playing animal crossing, and if I do anything particularly neat I might post it here and there. Who knows, I just figured out how to use watercolors for the first time, so maybe I can learn to do something cool with that. Or tape. Tape is hard to mess up. I’ve been taping and gluing a lot of things on top of other things and calling it art, which is fun, because no one can tell me it’s not and it can be as weird looking as I want and it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else

I’m traveling this week after my birthday! It’s very sudden but Very Good and also my meds are getting more settled (again) so I am not, in fact, currently losing my shit about the pandemic so much that I need to go to a hospital or take emergency medication doses right now. Progress, baby! An airport would have given me, no joke, at least a minor cardiac episode of palpitations and also a PTSD breakdown two months ago. Anyway, that’s good.

I move into an apartment in early October, which is coming fast thank god. Family stuff calmed for a few weeks and is now really a mess again, which is partly WHY I’m traveling and moving, but yeah, I may become a temporary guardian on and off to an eleven year old with a newly diagnosed chronic illness once I have an apartment, and that would be good, as long as I get one of the remote jobs I’ve been applying for.

I’m really glad to be back on here and ao3 seeing you guys around and still fighting the good fights and living your lives and enjoying stuff!!! I’m so proud of you 💛💛💛

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storybookprincess · 5 years ago

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tips on surviving extended social distancing (from someone who was largely housebound for 18 months as a teenager)

listen, y’all. covid is here. no gettin around it. and we are really going to need to come together as a nation (and as a planet, quite frankly) to help stop the spread & save as many lives as we can. public health experts universally agree that social distancing is one of the absolute best ways to slow the spread of disease, so we all need to stay home and avoid large crowds as much as we possibly can in order to keep people alive. this is not to alarm you. rather, it should be empowering--so often, we feel there’s nothing we can do in times of crisis, but this time there is a very clear action you can take. social distancing. stay home as much as you can & know that by doing it, you’re literally keeping people from dying.

that being said, being stuck in your apartment/house most of the day is, to put it mildly, a tremendous pain in the ass. i know this firsthand--i largely spent ages 16 & 17 housebound due to a chronic illness that left me too ill to go anywhere most days. i did, however, manage to keep a grip on my sanity by employing the following strategies. they will not turn social distancing into a party. they also will not work for everyone in the world (read: if this does not apply to you, kindly keep scrolling instead of writing an essay on why these tips do not work for your specific situation). but they’re a few ideas to get you started thinking of ways to make the best of a bad situation.

1. accept that it is going to be a tremendous adjustment & there will be negative emotions associated with that

lives are going to change. routines will be interrupted. things are going to be vastly different for a while. and it is completely okay to feel frightened, frustrated, upset, restless, bored, hopeless, etc etc. identify & accept those feelings. this is a global crisis, so if you didn’t feel anything negative about it whatsoever, i’d honestly be concerned. be prepared to employ (or better yet, proactively employ) whatever methods you have to cope w negative feelings--journaling, meditation, relaxation strategies, talking w a friend/loved one/professional, watching cute cat videos, whatever works for you. take good care of your mental health, but know that life is going to be hard for a while & it’s okay to feel bad.

2. to the best of your ability, maintain a routine

literally anything you read online about coping w mental illness will suggest you have some sort of structure to your day & you know what? they’re not wrong. yes, sleeping in & having a lazy day occasionally is good for you, but try to have some sort of loose routine most days. humans thrive on that shit. i know lots of people resist this advice for whatever reason, but it really does help the days stop blurring together into an endless stream of blah. wake up when you’d usually wake up. eat when you’d usually eat. if you’re working or studying from home, do those things when you’d normally do them. have leisure time when you’d normally do it. by whatever means necessary, pls try to maintain a routine.

3. relatedly, get dressed & do your same personal care routine every day

this was weirdly extremely important to me when i was homebound & sick. for whatever reason, getting dressed & doing my makeup, even when i was just sitting at home all day, helped me feel like a human being. i too enjoy being a sweatpants goblin on occasion, but it really will make you feel like an actual person & not a slug to keep up your same personal care practices every day.

4. socialize long distance

you will most likely have to get creative w this one, but there are SO many ways to keep in touch w friends & loved ones remotely. play video games together from your own homes, share your screen & watch a show together, have a dinner date in which you both make or order dinner & then eat & talk via video chat, chat w online pals via discord, move your d&d game to roll20, have a virtual book club, etc etc. i feel confident that if we all come together, we can come up w ways to stay in touch remotely. to me, this is one of the most important ways to stay sane. people NEED people, so pls stay in touch w pals.

5. spend your time in ways that make you feel good

this is going to look different for everyone, but think about what activities you can do from home that make you feel happy & good about yourself. for me, that’s often writing, knitting, and cooking/baking. sitting at home scrolling through your phone, for most people, doesn’t really making them feel awesome, so try to spend your time in ways that are actually meaningful to you.

my pro version of this tip is to make a list of these sorts of activities ahead of time. i know when i’m grumpy & restless & bored, i often struggle to come up w ideas of what i’d like to do, so having a list on hand already is really helpful. to get you started, some entries on mine might be: listen to a podcast, play video games, watch a new show i’ve been meaning to, create fan content of some variety, paint my nails, watch some educational videos, read some books or comics, etc. make your own list & have fun!!!

6. wherever possible, try to find the silver lining

yes, it’s hard to find the good in being cooped up all day. however, i just got word that my organization is mandating everyone work from home now & i’m trying to find some good in that. for example, i get an extra half hour of sleep in the morning bc i don’t need to commute! i don’t have to dress business casual anymore! i can hang w my cat while i work! i can pop down to the convenience store for coffee whenever i want! i don’t have to sit in a windowless office all day! i can go on the fun sites usually blocked on school wifi on quick brain breaks! i can lie down when i don’t feel well! etc etc. try to find the good, however small it may be.

7. try to find things to do for others

one of the best ways to combat the slow creep of despair into your psyche is to do things to help other people. human beings have managed to survive this long by virtue of being kind. for example, i’m going to try to write as much as i can in the coming weeks to try to give people something to enjoy while they’re stuck inside. i also think i’m going to bring a small treat to the nurses at the hospital when i go in for my routine treatment to thank them for their hard work in this tough time. if we all band together & are kind to each other, we can find some light & hope in all of this.

i hope those tips end up helping you as we move forward. this is a time of adjustment, uncertainty, and change. it’s going to be hard & scary, but we’ll find a way through. if anyone has additional tips, pls feel free to add on. my thoughts & love are w all of you <3

#covid 19 #coronavirus #liv speaks #signal boost #sending love & hope & light to everyone

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trueromantic1 · 5 years ago

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Okay everyone, I’ve got almost 100 prompts for Madney in my inbox now. I’m still taking new prompts, but I’m going to start listing them all in a post so that you all can see what prompts I already have, in case you don’t want me to do one I already have. I don’t mind doubles, I’ll just treat doubles as a new prompt for each person that sends it, but I know not everyone wants to send a prompt that’s already been sent. So here’s the full list of what’s in my inbox. As I fill them I’ll cross them out.

Madney + “For the love of fuck.” from maddiehans

'I'm going to love you. I'm going to love you in your weakest moments to your strongest ones. I'm going to love you when you're happy and I'm going to still love you the most when you're sad. Don't you understand? I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere.“ from jessicatk53

“I’m all good.” “You’re lying on the floor in a pool of blood.” “Not my blood.” from minti-here

“Any questions?” “Constantly.” from minti-here

“Stop distracting me.” “Just one kiss? Then I’ll stop?” “We both know that’s a lie.” from minti-here

“Fuck you.” “Go ahead then.” from minti-here

“How quickly can you cum?” from maddieandchimney

“If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning?” from maddieandchimney

“I’m not jealous! its just…you’re mine!” from maddieandchimney

“Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh... no... I was just...” “Want some help?” from maddieandchimney

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?” from maddieandchimney

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.” from maddieandchimney

“Put that thing away!” from maddieandchimney

“Ah, you’re playing hard-to-get. thats cute.” (I changed it for my own satisfaction from maddieandchimney

“I’m not going to touch you unless you beg.” from maddieandchimney

“We’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?!” from maddieandchimney

“Ill just have to cum inside you then.” from maddieandchimney

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.” from jessicatk53

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification just from staring at him if i try hard enough.” from maddieandchimney

“If you cant sleep…then how about we have sex?” from jessicatk53

“I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.” from maddieandchimney

“Take off your clothes.” from jessicatk53

“Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? ‘Cause if you did we’re having sex. Right now.” from maddieandchimney

“If i have to pull over, you wont be able to walk for the next week.” from maddieandchimney

“Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop.” from jessicatk53

“We’re in public, you know.” from jessicatk53

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?” from jessicatk53

“Don’t make me take you home and punish you.” from jessicatk53

“Just let me finish this/this level and i swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.” from maddieandchimney

“The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.” from maddieandchimney

“You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?” from maddieandchimney

“Don’t walk away from me” from jessicatk53

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.” from maddieandchimney

“If you cant sleep…then how about we have sex?” from maddieandchimney

“Watch me.” (I mean could you imagine Chim’s face if a very naked Maddie said that to him???) from maddieandchimney

“Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt” from jessicatk53

“We’re quite the team” from jessicatk53

“First one to make a noise loses.” from maddieandchimney

“From the moment I saw you, I knew I was in love” from jessicatk53

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.” from maddieandchimney

“Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop.” from minti-here

“Try to stay quiet, understand?” from maddieandchimney

“You want me to give you your book/phone/item back? Make me. from maddieandchimney

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?” from minti-here

“I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.” from maddieandchimney

“I thought you were the one person who wouldn’t hurt me” from minti-here

“I didn’t think heaven existed. I was wrong” from minti-here

“Quiet, I need quiet to access my brain’s full potential” “Are you trying to make pancakes again?” from minti-here

“I don’t usually give into peer pressure, but I’ll give into you” from minti-here

“Did you just fall down the stairs?” “No, I gracefully performed a mating act I saw online. Did it work? It was called damsel in distress” from minti-here

A whumpee who has suffered so many wounds that when old chronic pain flares up and Caretaker asks what hurts, they aren’t even sure which injury to blame from maddieandchimney

Madney + “I want to hike up your skirt and take you right here.” from anonymous

“This isn’t what it looks like.” from jessicatk53

“You’re a genius with facts, but you’re really stupid with people.” from jessicatk53

“I know what I want, when I want it. So get over here.” from jessicatk53

“I made the mistake of thinking ‘This can’t get weirder.’ Sorry.” from jessicatk53

“I’m yours, in every way you’ll have me.” from jessicatk53

“I didn’t say “sex party” as in orgy. I said “hex party” as in witches.” from jessicatk53

“I lost the baby.” - for when Maddie decides she can’t raise a baby with Doug and so, she runs from maddieandchimney

65. “Look at me—just breathe, okay?” - for when Chim makes a completely innocent comment about the dishes and Maddie is taken right back to Doug. from maddieandchimney

To their surprise Whumpee leans into their touch, eyes closed, mumbling, “No, it feels good…” That’s the first sign Caretaker notices that they have a fever. - my phone won’t let me copy the whole thing but please??? from maddieandchimney

“I can’t do this anymore.” from jessicatk53

“Does it ever occur to you that I am done talking? That I am done with reflecting upon my words and action? Can’t you just take a fucking hint that I’m done with you? I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.” from jessicatk53

“How am I supposed to ‘love you’ when I never had feelings to being with.” from jessicatk53

“You’re damaged goods and I can’t find the patience to take on you as a project.” from maddieandchimney

“Why can’t we just talk about it —” from maddieandchimney

“You’re a god damn mistake, that’s what you are.” from maddieandchimney

“Why can’t you just look at me for one god damn second!” from maddieandchimney

“Why can’t you just learn to let the fuck go.” from maddieandchimney

“This, us, was a fucking mistake and I should have known the second things went further than planned.” from jessicatk53

“Why are you — saying all these things??? Where did they come from???” have at it ya fuckin’ demon!! from cardi-sea

“Did it over occur to you that I never wanted this to begin with?” from maddieandchimney

“So, how should we break the news that they’re going to have a new baby brother or sister?” Madney pls🥺 from anonymous

“I think we should have another.” from maddieandchimney

“Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me.” from maddieandchimney

“It’s 2 am but you’re craving cake and we’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear.” from maddieandchimney

“I know we had a big fight but we still need to decorate the house for the holidays.” from maddieandchimney

“I beat you at Mario Kart and now you’re banishing me to the couch for the night?” from maddieandchimney

YES!!! "I planned out this super romantic proposal and you just ruined it by beating me to whole proposing thing.” from maddieandchimney

“I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on.” from maddieandchimney

“Sometimes I just can’t control myself when around you.” from maddieandchimney

Just imagine moody sick Maddie 😂 “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.” from maddieandchimney

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.” from maddieandchimney

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.” from maddieandchimney

“i hate to break it to you, but you’re not supposed to do any strenuous physical activity for the next couple weeks, and if i have to personally make sure you don’t every waking hour of the day then i’m fully prepared to do that.” from maddieandchimney

“stop trying to act like you’re not bleeding out in front of me!! this is serious!” from maddieandchimney

“your feelings matter too! i can’t help you if i don’t even know what’s making you upset!” from maddieandchimney

“listen, asshole. i’m gonna carry you home whether you like it or not. you’re not in any condition to get there yourself.” omg i love this one for buck and maddie from cardi-sea

❝I’m not taking that medicine, it’s disgusting.❞ from maddieandchimney

“your feelings matter too! i can’t help you if i don’t even know what’s making you upset!” from maddieandchimney

#911 fanfic #maddie x chimney #buckley siblings

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ruinmylifc · 6 years ago

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[ muse #1 ] ●● is that cillian murphy? no, that’s just dante armstrong, the 45 year old cismale who is a 𝐅𝐁𝐈 𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐓. some say they’re self-destructive & unpredictable, but their family and friends will swear they’re efficient & candid. when i think of them, i think of at least sleepless nights, bullet proof vests, movie nights with the family, confidential case files, last minute therapy sessions, hidden gun holsters, sunday night roasts, clean shaves. i wonder if his family knows that 𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑. ●●

yeah, i did another thing and this one is gonna stick bc well... if you look under the cut i have given you all of dante and myself so i apologise for the length but it just flew out of me. i haven’t even put any wanted connections bc that would make it 10x longer. just love me and i will love you all the same.

trigger warnings: medical terminology, chronic illness, hospitals, vomiting mention.

i’m proud to present dante sean armstrong, eldest son of eris dorothy (nee may) and basil wayne armstrong. his sister was born two years later and then came his younger brother another three years after.

his childhood wasn’t exactly rainbows and glorious days of splendor, but it wasn’t horrendous either. their family lived on a property in the countryside and owned some animals. farm work and chores were to be done every day as well as keeping up with their school work.

both of his parents were strict and enforced a lot of rules and there were to be no questions asked. they hounded into the three of them the importance of working hard and providing for the family and that’s stuck with dante. he wasn’t allowed to get away with the things some of the kids these days do ( eyes at all you rebel lil shits ) and dare he disrespect his parents, he’d be punished for it.

UPDATED NOV 24: with that being said, his parents didn’t show their love physically but they showed it in a lot of other ways. long holidays to the beach, constantly spending time together on the lake, picnics, going to sporting events when they could, traveling sometimes, card game nights. spending quality time together was their way of showing love. to this day, that is still how they show their children their love.

dante is incredibly intelligent ( unlike myself so i’m sorry pls bare with me ) and that could be seen from day dot. he was hitting milestones before the average child was and his parents saw potential in him. they pushed him harder than his siblings, with school work and work on the property. basil originally wanted dante to take over the property but once he hit high school, he knew there was no way he was going to be able to keep this boy there.

he graduated high school top of his class with a full scholarship to boston uni for law, so he packed his bags and he was off. he only saw his family at major holidays whilst he was at college as he put his head down, bum up and studied hard with a job on the side.

with that being said he played as hard as he worked and knows how to have fun, so he says anyway. when the armstrong wife comes along we will plot when they met and we will go from there but aside from that! he was a bit of a player, enjoying the attention and action if you catch my drift.

UPDATED NOV 24: cue graduating college, moving to ashcroft in his early twenties and he went to work in the force for two-ish years until he was qualified, fit enough and had the experience to apply for the fbi as a special agent. blood, sweat and tears went into this passion of his and lord behold, he got in. it’s fair to say that dante should be married to his job, bc he honestly loves it so much and worked so hard to get in. it’s a bit sad. that’s where he’s been since his mid twenties. cue actual marriage and along came their first child.

UPDATED NOV 24: the main goal in his life when children started coming into the picture was to go out everyday and protect his family, no matter the cost. if he worked a 80 hour week to solve a case or to lock up criminals, then so be it. that was more people who cold potentially hurt his family behind bars.

dante is a family man as much as he can be, but he finds it hard to separate work and home as they both mean so much to him. so yes, he is a workaholic and the things he has seen through the years as brought him night terrors but he loves his family to death. anyone touches them and he will go wild.

ADDED NOV 24: dante is one of those parents that has always said it how it is, not wanting to lie (to a certain extent) to them or shielding them from the dangers of the real world. he is a softy especially in times when his family are upset, things are happening, appts needed, etc, but he shows a lot of tough love. before he joined the fbi and the kids were little, he was as soft as one could be but with the trials of his line of work, he had to learn to be tough. that unfortunately comes home with him, like his work.

ADDED NOV 24: if there is a problem, dante wants ppl to tell him about it straight away and not cut out minor details. he needs to know everything and as soon as possible so he can help, can work it out whether that be work, social life, family, etc. he is v unpredictable with his response too so one day if someone doesn’t come to him abt something for a long time, he could be rather tame and just move on with it. on another day, he could go off his rocker. you can’t really pick it esp when he comes across as being cold. (he’s not!! he is really warm with those he trusts and loves i SWEAR)

dante not long had become a supervisory special agent when mateo’s case came up. dante found himself being emotionally drawn to mateo and the situation at hand, having always struggled with not letting things get personal. so he offered him protection, took him in and opened up his home for him. of course, keeping him around is detrimental to the case and there’s no way he will be letting him go any time soon, but dante cannot help but feel protective over him. he is putting his family at risk by bringing him in but he doesn’t regret it and is more determined to resolve the case.

UPDATED NOV 24: emilio is now caught and dante is suspended for using his weapon. now begins the process of gather evidence, trials, etc.

personality.

he is completely unpredictable ; you may think he’ll react to a situation one way but will completely go the opposite. he says things that would be unexpected from him and he keeps shit real. he won’t sit there and talk abt the world being a wonderful place bc he will laugh in your face and tell you to fuck off to fairyland. he’s seen too much shit and done too much shit to know that life is not a movie.

he can come across as cold but he just doesn’t like to talk if he has nothing to say and he has a resting bitch face, sorry.

UPDATED NOV 24: it can take a lot to anger dante but when he gets angry, oh you know about it. he’ll yell and throw things and throw a tantrum if it’s really bad but most of the time, he tries to keep quite calm. if it involves his family getting hurt, he’ll get violent, period. no one touches his family.

THIS: as much as he keeps a guard up due to his job and is a somewhat strict parent and whatnot, he is a sweetheart. he’ll make his kids breakfast in bed on the weekends and would come in and kiss their heads when he’d come home from work and he’d be the one setting up easter egg hunts and is MUCH more affection than his own parents. his family’s happiness brings him happiness and they’re really the only people that see him smile often. also, he won’t go to work without telling them all he loves them. always. even if they’re sick of it.

UPDATED NOV 24: also, he beats himself up and is normally the one that tears himself down to shit. once he has his mind set in a bad way, he’ll tear himself to pieces and he really is his own worst enemy. and it’s bad. like, he beats himself up about everything and even won’t sleep at night over little things like having a fight with the kids, or not filling in paperwork right, or not speaking to his wife one night bc he is just too Stressed. v much is not okay

ADDED NOV 24: bc of this he tends to push ppl away, very badly too. he doesn’t think abt himself often and just wants to make those he loves happy, but he just??? can’t sometimes??? and i think that can be so frustrating

bonus point ; he is a very passionate lover!

secret.

in terms of his secret!! when he was in his final year of college, dante was mucking around with a group of friends throwing a football and tackling one another in between lectures. he had run backward off of the grass onto the path to catch the football and one of the guys ran and tackled him, knocking him to the ground with a very nasty blow to the head.

knocked out cold, dante was taken to the hospital were he had a severe concussion but there was no bleeding in or around the brain.

after this he became violently ill ; he knew that concussion caused disorientation but this was weeks, even a couple months after the incident and he was still having trouble. he suffered from severe headaches, vomiting, eyesight troubles and even his personality changed.

dante knew he wasn’t okay so he went to a couple doctors, had a bunch of neurological tests, ct and mri scans and he was then diagnosed with non-communicating acquired hydrocephalus. basically, the blow to his head caused one of the ventricles in his brain to block which restricted the flow of csf ( cerebrospinal fluid ).

with that, a shunt was surgically inserted in his brain to drain the excess fluid to other parts of his body and he has lived his life with this as his own personal secret. he hasn’t told his wife or children and his siblings and parents are the only ones who know ( bc they were by his side ofc ).

UPDATED NOV 24: he’s had regular check ups every so many years and as of lately, the shunt has started to play up and he’s suffering from headaches for a while now. will he do anything abt it? probs not. there has been too much going on for him to even think about himself.

#ashcroftintro.#medical terminology tw #chronic illness tw #hospitals tw #vomiting mention tw #character study ― dante armstrong.#mirror ― dante armstrong.#spotify ― dante armstrong.#aesthetics ― dante armstrong.#answered ― dante armstrong.#memes ― dante armstrong.#family ― dante armstrong.#wanted connection ― dante armstrong.

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ts-autumns-world · 3 years ago

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Episode 4: “Tua supremacy babey” - Lily O

I GET TO REUNITE WITH JINX YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

me waking up to see that im in the new tribe: https://media.tenor.com/images/93212119a4887f9fa0ad945c7ae2a5d0/tenor.gif

tbh i expected the swap since like we have 14 rn so its a reasonable number to do a swap before the merge.. but like this swap sucks not only me being the only one from og eener but its also me having to be with these 4 whites ppl. you know i don't trust white ppl except mikki SDFSDFSDFSDF so this absolutely SUCKS. and geekoffilm is on another tribe too.

URGH i hope i can team up with jinx and jude. and joey and i used to play together in CoW so hopefully, i am able to make him want to work with me again.. but monty... monty is very skeptical cause like they could just vote me off now. BUT THEN, i know that either jinx or raffy has the idol for sure, so maybe i need to ask jinx for that. or i just ask the person who i'll be up against with in the tic tac toe to throw a challenge if they are the og eener too.

much to think about bestie booth. i wanna trust these ppl so bad but i have trust issues

https://youtu.be/JrXnnD5KU0I

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naur this is the plan if we go to council

imma be like joey

you are the only cis white man on the team

you have to go.

you wanna be an ally?

THIS IS HOW!!!

so im pushing for u FEWEJFEEFJEFEIFEFIJW

heS ALWAYS SAYING HE WANTS TO BE A BETTER ALLY

ALWAYS CALLING ME LIKE JINX IM SO SORRY

ILL BE LIKE FOR WHAT??

HE'S LIKE FOR BEING A WHITE CIS STRAIGHT MAN.

IF UR REALLY SORRY ULL LEAVE!

I have to start this out by saying Giraffez, I’m so sorry! I tried my best but too many people wanted to keep us comp strong and wanted Lily O to stay. I really wish we would have had the chance to play longer together but sometimes it’s just not in the cards.

As far as swap goes, I’m really happy about my team. We have a majority from my original group which is pretty wild. I wish Chips was here and I really hope he makes it work somehow but I’m ngl I’m a little worried about him.

I was so so thrilled to see Jinx on Tua with me. I also have started talking with Captain and Jude. They both seem super nice so as always I’m hoping to avoid tribal once again.

I’d like to the think that original Llih (was that how you spelled it?) will stay together but Giraffez told me that Lily O told her that she was voting for me. Now obviously we all voted Giraffez but I think Lily O knows I was plotting. So. I hope we can stick together. But. Yeah. Your girl is worried. And excited. She is excited cause this group seems cool. But nervous because yeah I’m not ready for another vote out. Mkay. Bye.

This swap went pretty well for me all things considered. I still have a bunch of people from my OG Tribe, and the new people seem active and really nice! So, I like my tribe. Blake offered to me today to work together closely in the game which I am down for. The semi-inactive people need to stick together and all that lmao. Other than that, I am straight Vibing

Swap time! honestly its time to kick it into high gear and win this immunity challenge! make some real allies!

HELLO AUTUMNS WORLD!!!!!! So I have arrived in a swapped team with 3 of my old members! SOOO happy Mikki is here firstly since we can discuss basically anything. Blake and Raffy im also cool with but not like as close with them. Maybe a bit more with Blake. Of the new people my fav is Chris !! Already liking our chats and hope it can turn more strategic later maybe!! Ricky is also cool and funny and chips I was allies with him in Kili which is cool but probably the weakest connection of the new people so far!! It looks like we are gonna lose and if so its kinda hard like on one hand we have easy majority to vote off idk probably chips or maybe ricky or we could go against tribal linesI think Blake truly does wanna work with me tho but is just busy. Like going against tribal lines is kinda fun but maybe dumb. And chips being the 1 in a 4-2-1 swap sucks too!! Idk kind of evaluating the vibe with Mikki and will see what we think later if we lose… we would probs be safe regardless being protected by tribal lines on one side and having developed sorta good vibes with Chris and Ricky from the other side so probs wouldn’t be targeted from that angle either?? Hopefully… I did have kind of a delayed start with the new people cuz of irl stuff but yah we will see!

My opinion on swap was initially sad because I was missing out on Jinx/Jude/Joey/Captain BUT then I realize I like this tribe?? Im with Ricky still, Mikki probably is sitting at the cookout as we spesk, Chips is lowkey goody but I got my eye on him, Benj and I bond over Agatha Christie <3, Blake I knew from TDI so we have been goofin like a Goofy movie, Raffy I actually enjoy that we chat of the most mundane things, and that's everybody! I think I have a chance to survive on this tribe

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My thoughts are that I've got Ricky and Mikki at minimum. I know Mikki/Raffy got beef but I doubt they go for each other. Chips is like a level-headed Joey but I reckon one of him/Blake/Benj will be targeted if I had to guess. Nevertheless me and Captain talked during our matchup and exchanged info. My hope is me or Ricky are in Outhouse but I also hope not so we have higher odds to keep the goodies all goodie and safe

https://voca.ro/18WSqZznajDx

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I LOVE JUDE

so idk where my last confessional left off but i think it was before tribal. so after tribal, jinx’s manifestations came true, we swapped, i ended up on a tribe with no one i knew except chris, so that was kind of…nnng. but hey, gotta roll with the punches. me and jinx were paired up for the challenge which game me a bit of time to talk with them, and they gave me some insight on ppl i didn’t really know on my tribe, and also they gave me a tarot reading, and it basically said that while i’m probably gonna have to deal with some bullshit, i just have to use everything i’ve learned to get over any obstacles, and stay calm and collected through it all. i’m really really praying for this one, since we just lost immunity, and now chris is going to the outhouse, i’m afraid that i’m truly all alone now. and if there’s one thing that scares me it’s being alone. i really like mikki tho, and i heard benj was good ppl. maybe if i let them know that raffy might have the half idol then maybe they’d be more inclined to work with me, but i also really enjoy raffy’s presence, so i don’t really want him to be a target. blake and i have had a good amount of dialogue so i’m hoping that he’d be willing to work with me, to be honest. ughhhhh why why why tribal. WHY TRIBAL. in all my years of playing tumble survivor i’ve never been sent to like…and exile or redemption island ONCE. not once….ever…. please god let me get to the outhouse just one time.

First of all, lemme just say I'm so amused by how quickly my chances of no-votes went RIGHT out the door. But also thank god that it went off without a hitch! And right before a swap, no less New tribe is definitely iconic. LOVE Jinx, Captain and Jude are cool too, and then my Llih buddies are also v nice to have (shoutouts monty and joey)

Tua supremacy babey

https://youtu.be/oP7DWOnmt40

https://youtu.be/Z3_pyWTdRh8

https://youtu.be/UFshPYJ98z0

hello confessional booth... i'm here to give you um. something i hope!!!!

well since the swap, i feel like i've managed to fit in better than i expected cause ive been feeling under the weather and i don't rlly have energy to talk to anyone (which is so great that our tribe won this IC) but i rlly need to work on that more for sure..

joey wants to work with me.. like a lot. we worked together for a bit in CoW before he was voted out and he was a great ally to me back then so i think i can trust joey a little bit? and he rlly wants the pocs to go far so i think this is a good sign.

with jinx, we've been wanting to talk about the outhouse thing but jinx wants to call and i've been feeling sick so we haven't called but hopefully we can do that soon. i trust jinx a lot and i know they're gonna take care of me.

jude.. you know i like her since i saw her intro vid so yup gonna need to talk to her more!!!

lily c.. my fellow teacher pls SFSFSDFSD i enjoy our chat a lot like idt its much but every time we talk, with her, it just feels great and nice and like we just get to know each other so far so i hope we can talk game a bit more but we'll see

lily o.. we haven't talked since the day the swap happened. idk why. maybe she's busy or maybe i should dm her first so i think i'm gonna do that tmr my time if i have the energy.

and monty... PLEASE idk if i can trust monty or not. like he's a good friend of mine but my experience in orgs with them is that they tried to break the swp apart (which was smart but then mikki and i are both playing so gotta keep an eyes on them)

i'm just trying to feel good and hopefully recover soon cause i hate being sick. idk i'm scared of covid!!!!! but i haven't gone outside for a week or two methinks so we're gonna pray and see.

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missing mikki and hope she will be fine

Blake suggested starting an OG Eneer alliance to Mikki and Benj. They took them up on the offer so I guess I am in my first alliance of the game based on arbitrary reasons. In any case, they seem to want to vote out Chips which is a RIP. But whatever keeps me safe for one more round.

I don’t have an obsession with the Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood sketch from SNL... No I clearly don’t... https://youtu.be/whfQf3Pd5bU

It’s my chronic overthinking in this swap that is going to do me in, I feel. It’s the pressure of having to actually think differently, and coming off of EVERYTHING I’ve seen in this community over the past 6 months, oh good Lord have mercy, I feel as though its so hard for me to want to not sacrifice my game, but at the same time... I feel all the pressure in the world to flip. I did have a lucid dream that if I got to a point where I consistently voted only white people at every Council, it would make my game look REALLY good by comparison, since I literally did everything I could, and no, I don’t want to hear anyone post season say this was rigged for Jinx, it’s not, we’re only going to go against each other down the road because of how this season has been set up, and it breaks my heart

https://photos.app.goo.gl/eSvSGkc4zmBfnYVP7

So here's some tea I suppose. I was a pretty big fan of the tribe swap because people talked more in general. This was particularly interesting considering their different timezones but continued ability to keep up conversation. It was pretty apparent that I was at a numbers deficit from my original tribe but my hope was that people didn't want to play like "that" and then if they did that my former tribe would throw it to keep the numbers. Apparently that is not true as Lily C went as hard as possible to win a challenge she could have convincingly thrown as an "accident" multiple times. At any rate, based on the total lack of communication with me concerning who I am voting it is evident that either the plan is to vote someone without telling me or that it is to vote me. This means that regardless of the situation I am in a terrible position and will be leaving sooner rather than later. I don't know that I've been swap screwed in the past (perhaps, I've been playing for too long) but it really stinks.

For the TL;DR watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzftXB28gBE

http://www.purplerockpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/survivor-pearlislands-lillian-morris-no-sir.gif

As I'm writing this, I have a big gulp from... you guessed it... 7/11. I need to flip on one of the three of Monty, Lily O, and Lily C. My best option is going to vote for Lily O, I need Monty and Lily C to know I'm only doing this because yanno, things look awfully awful, and the pressure of making the right move and yet making sure I don't lose relationships is starting to get to me.

I also need them as shields because theyre the only winners in this game, and I need them here as shields for down the road heading into a merge.

I can't even believe I found TWOA IDOLS! I had to think a lot about who to give it too but I decided to do what felt like the smartest thing to do. Jinx and Captain already trust me and I enjoy Ricky but he gives semi chaotic energy. With that in mind, I had to give it to Jude as a sign of faith. Not only am I wanting her to do well, but I want to prove to her I legit want to work with her come merge 😊

https://youtu.be/vOn8Zsi0njA

https://youtu.be/UWTB-LYjbu0

for Chips: https://youtu.be/lSeDZdSEl4o

#tsaw #episodes

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cassyblue · 7 years ago

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Ok I am getting fucking fed up.

So A) Here I am feeling entirely incompetent, a failure, and unable to do anything on my thesis without needing to be hand held by my adviser. I have apologized to her before for being a high maintenance student. Like when I say that I don’t want to ask for funding to go to conferences or workshops because it’s pushing my luck since I have been an less than ideal student, it’s for a fucking reason. I fucked up my graduate assistant ship super badly last semester and while I’m doing better, I’m still not doing great. Like I don’t know how I am going to hold down a full time job because I struggle with taking care of myself and being competent. I can put in good work at my assistantship. But the problem isn’t the quality of the work, its that I struggle with exhaustion and energy levels. Things are better with meds but I literally have to be on campus almost every day of the week to manage my course load and work even after having my ga hours reduced. Is it bad that I want her to tell me that I am terrible and that I probably have no professional prospects. I want her to see me as I see myself. I want her to confirm it. I just want her to tell me Erin, you are the worst student I have had. I just want it to be true so I can move on.

And my fucking coauthor who acts like we’re all buddy buddy when we are not. He basically got my fucking project because I was graduating and I couldn’t finish it and stepped in and acted like he was the expert when I was the the one who had been on it for 6 months before him is back at his bullshit ). So our paper got accepted. It’s my first publication. It’s his third or fourth at this point I think. But it was accepted with minor revisions. Which were supposed to be done TWO WEEKS AGO. I uNDERSTAND LIFE IS HARD AND BUSY. But like god between him and our PI it should have been easy to drop in the genebank info and like clarify a few things. I even asked if there was anything for me to do to help. I have gotten the third reminder from the journal that’s like HEY YOUR REVISION IS LATE YOU HAVE TO TELL US IF YOU NEED MORE TIME OR NOT. And I emailed to see if there’s anything I could help with and GOT NO RESPONSE. aND LIKE Maybe I wouldn’t be so high strung about this except for working in that lab was during my horrible depressive episode and I have been waiting almost two years for this damn publication and the last time I was told I would be an author on a publication IT NEVER HAPPENED. And I offer help and no one responds. I just feel like such a failure. That project I know I fucked up. I literally had anxiety attacks about going into the lab during the time I worked there and I would have anxiety attacks in the lab. I cried at the microscope because I was just in such a bad place. And I named my bug after an author whose books really helped me during that time.

And what do I fucking see today?

My coauthor doing the university research showcase with a poster where he lists me as a coauthor without telling me (I mean it was second to last but still like hi tell me pls) with pictures of our new species with their names and shit. All while our paper revisions are not done. And like the research showcase is a nice to. It’s just cv filler. I did it as an undergrad my dude. I know what its like.

It just makes me want to scream because when I was at my undergrad uni where he goes for grad school now, the pi told me she was working on revisions and that my bug the one i named was going to be the one investigated for biocontrol and it got my hopes up.

I’m not cut out for research and I know that. But let me have this one thing. Please. I just want to have this damn publication done so I can stop being angry and sad about it. I can put the fucking whole lab experience behind me. It Would give me closure.

I didn’t tell anyone in the lab that I was depressed and so anxious that I was having breakdowns. My parents told me not to ell the pi. I probably just seemed like useless and lazy. I got a nice letter of reference but it’s all bullshit because I know I wasn’t stellar. I didn’t put my all in it. I had to deal with being picked at casually. I had to deal with sexism. I had to deal with my other job being disparaged.Like I don’t lik speaking ill of people. And that they’re so well connected when I’m just languishing because I can’t get my act together and I sturggle with life. Like I don’t know if it was my depression that made everything seem worse. And like I cried in the bathroom so much that one of th eolder grad students in a different lab noticed and told me I could come to her anytime if I felt down.

All I feel like is the drugs are keeping me from exploding again. That they’re the only thing keeping me together and I just am struggling with therapy. I don’t know if its because its me. Or if its the therapist. I don’t want to talk about my parents over and over. I don’t know what to talk about. I don’t know what to do.

I just want the world to burn right now. I want to burn it down. Maybe I’ll come out to my parents and let that start a shit storm. That would be good. That would let me destroy myself so completely.

you know as a kid I wanted someone to tell me there was something wrong wth me so badly. I wanted to be diagnosed with some deadly disease or chronic illness. Then people would care about me and love me I told myself. How fucked up was that. I just wanted someone to acknowledge that I was just inherently wrong and be kind to me for it.

#erin complains #hi im having a break down i think #delete later

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rpbetter · 4 years ago

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Hello everyone! I’m deeply sorry for yet more delays, but I ended up sick enough to visit the hospital this week, ew. Regardless, since I’m not dead yet (apologies to the people I’m certain I owe hateful responses to, but the germ warfare failed - I’m absolutely joking on that last part, no one at me for the love of yikes pls, I’m Tired), work will resume on The List this weekend!

I cannot express enough how appreciated the patience is! Even with a warning right on the blog and pinned post, no one signs up for dealing with the incessant delays inherent to chronic illness, and I seriously do appreciate it.

In the meantime, anyone want to send an anon about their week (or month, since it’s ‘gonna be May’ tomorrow) in the RPC? Say something good that happen, share something positive with everyone, or drop some necessary venting - it’s up to you! I’ll publish them after I get The List out.

*Though, do note that any message not following the rules will be edited/published in a new post in order to do. Edits will just be redacting names as needed. Rules are on the pinned post, but in short: I’d like this to not turn into a purely fandom-specific blog, nor do I wish to directly state the names anyone goes by or their urls. Believe me, you can make a couple implications about your fandom, and people in it will know! Make up another nickname for someone. If it’s absolutely necessary for you to use a character’s name, go ahead. If it appears to be a pretty popular canon with many possible writers, I may be able to leave it! If the anon is positive, it can and will be published with given specifics.

Maybe that’ll be a good thanks for all the patience and new follows!

#rp better #updates #illness mention #throw some rpc praise or salt over in this inbox! Full permission.

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i-am-very-very-tired · 7 years ago

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April says:JUNE 20, 2016 AT 2:04 PMREPLY

Relaxed4life says:AUGUST 4, 2016 AT 10:11 PMREPLY

Azarmiah says:OCTOBER 5, 2016 AT 8:05 AMREPLY

Amor Amankwah says:OCTOBER 8, 2016 AT 4:47 PMREPLY

Touche! Well said! You hit the nail on the head.

Preach it beee!! Amen and A. men!!

If your natural you know that those styles help reduce tangles i personally dont wear them no reason i havent masterd them as of yet and and doesnt take nothing nut humidity and a wash to get you back to its natural state. Hey check out this video by angel ikyg called black women natural hair its not a bashing video he gives good reasoning to go natural if u feel the same way after watching the video then keep getting relaxers by all means because its your hair have a good day

Dude I always felt the same way. You manipulating your hair to get your curls a certain way says a lot.

Seriously why be so negative? Some people don’t like curly hair or braids but prefer straight hair. Quite frankly some women don’t look good with either hair style. Yeah one can argue that a black woman can achieve straight hair with natural hair but do you know how much more damage will occur than by doing relaxers. If you actually read this woman’s blog you would see her hair is healthy and relaxed. So stop hair shaming and accept the fact that people can have different hair styles and still have healthy hair.

Monique Peterkin says:JANUARY 29, 2017 AT 4:44 PMREPLY

Exactly- this kind of thinking [shaming others hardcore because they have a different view period; be it hair, philosophy, belief, etc,] is and has been completely counterproductive, deleterious, and frankly, embarrassing. We are not a monolith*and there is no “real Black” mind or character. We really need to STOP IT. Where, oh where has it really gotten us as a people in the world? ##!% it.

Everything isn’t for everyone. I am relaxed and I’ve NEVER had anyone else’s hair in my head in my life. My hair is long (bra strap length) and healthy. I’ve never had a desire to go natural because I like the way my hair is when relaxed. My roller wraps and easy maintenance hair works for ME & my life & that my friend is how that works out. I will not apologize or be ashamed of MY choice for MY hair. I am team #CreamyCrack.

There are lots of things we do that aren’t ‘natural’. Do you wear make up? Thats not natural. When people wear braids the extensions they use aren’t natural. When people flat iron their natural hair thats not natural or when people wear weave and wigs over their natural hair- not natural either. Big Deal! People are so busy pointing the finger and telling other people what they should do or think that they don’t realise they are a bunch of hypocrites.

I disagree and can I give you an analogy and you may never agree but this is mine. People over time have used inventions to make their life easier doesn’t mean they don’t embrace their culture our heritage but they are doing things to.save time and effort. Ex. Pencil to typewriter to computer Records to cd to downloads For some not all healthy relaxed hair makes our lives more manageable and easier. I love natural hair but please respect me too and recognize that for me and my course hair it’s much easier.

Where “someone’s” hair means?? Oh pls… Its about time judging stopped!! Its the same hair ok? Jux that others prefer to relax it. And yes… Natural isnt for everyone means… Not everyone wants to keep their hair kinky or natural… Its jux hair ok!? Anyone has the right to do whatever!

Sometimes natural hair does not fit your personality or lifestyle. Its similar to how some people do not prefer their own hair color and choose to dye it.

I agree with you 100%. I think if it grows out your head it obviously is for you. lol Im natural and I don’t judge whether you make a decision to relax or not relax, i really don’t care what you do to your head. But what we’re not gonna do in these comments is say that natural “poofy” hair is “unprofessional”. That is the real issue. What is professional? Straight flat hair? I don’t like that stigma at all. And also side note, natural hair products typically are organic or healthy for your scalp most of the time. Relaxer literally burns your scalp and has your hair fall out if it’s in too long lol it can’t be that safe when used in the long term. But i’m not the one who is making the decision so who cares about my opinion anyway lol

Montia says:JUNE 12, 2016 AT 6:37 AM

Hey Lauren,

I have been a home relaxer for years! Do you have any suggestions for beach hair or what to do to protect your hair at the pool? It’s vacation season so wanted a little product help!

Thanks Montia

Lauren says:JUNE 14, 2016 AT 9:35 AMREPLY

Hey!

I’ve heard that some women coat their hair with oil of deep conditioner before getting into the water – something about your hair soaking up the moisturizing product and not having enough room to soak up chlorinated water. Just be careful – wouldn’t want to have an obvious slick of oil behind you as you dunk in the water! If I know I’ll be in water a lot (i.e. vacation), I’ll put it into a protective style like Marley Twists or Box Braids. Hope that helps!

Pam says:MAY 30, 2016 AT 9:30 AM

I’m so glad I read your post, I have been natural for 5’years now, I have seen some growth but not the amazing results that I expected. I also think my hair seemed much healthier when I had a relaxer, thank you for helping me realize that natural does not always mean better and since everyone’s hair is different you should do what works for you.

Fahyolah says:APRIL 11, 2016 AT 4:49 PM

Wow. I came across this post and your first paragraph alone had me! I am sick and tired of everyone portraying relaxed hair as the culprit of all hair problems. There is a way to have healthy relaxed hair and I dislike when I am made to feel guilty about my decision to keep my hair relaxed (I’m not “ashamed” of my natural hair, I just prefer it straight). Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting such a rare opposition in a world filled with individuals shunning relaxed hair!

Mesha says:APRIL 27, 2016 AT 11:54 AMREPLY

Wow! Im going through this now. Havent relaxed my hair in almost a year and its coming out, dry and hard to manage. I honestly dont see what all the hype is about natural hair. I guess its personal choice and the type of hair you have. Some people make natural seem easy but then their hair grade is “naturally” nice! My hair is coarse, dry, thick yet brittle and I hate that. Call it what you want, im Europeanized whatever im not with that and love healthy looking moisturized hair, im getting a perm asap!!!

Faith says:APRIL 2, 2016 AT 5:57 PM

I also tried to go the natural route… this is my second year now, but my hair was honestly healthiest when I used to relax it. Now my natural hair just sheds so much and is super dit. regardless of what I do to it. My mind is made as I take off my braids in relaxing it. And shall be proudly rocking it.

Abigail Mai. says:APRIL 1, 2016 AT 11:21 AM

I know this post its old but I feel like I need to post a comment lol. I’ve been natural for three years but things are getting out of hand now, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m glad I found this blog. I’m planning to relax my hair tomorrow and get a pixie cut. I’m so nervous. Nice post! Your hair is gorgeous!

I am at my 3 year mark as well and I’m fed up..smh when yu relaxed what relaxer did you use.

Lauren says:APRIL 7, 2016 AT 10:25 AMREPLY

Tips & materials before you relax your hair at home Relax your hair at home, by yourself, the RIGHT way! Dr. Miracle’s Feel It Formula Thermalceutical Intensive No-Lye Relaxer (Regular Strength)

So how did it go? Reading these comments, I think I have made up my mind. After almost 10 yrs of being natural, I hate it. It takes me up to 3 hrs to straighten it and it still looks a hot mess and all I can do is pull it back. I was looking at my pictures from college and I loved the relaxed look. So much easier in my opinion and my hands and arms don’t feel like they are going to fall off. Any pointers? I’ll prob just go back to the olive oil relaxer.

Kiki says:MARCH 24, 2016 AT 11:54 PM

Natural isn’t for everyone! My hair broke in the center and both sides while shedding everywhere else. So I cut it down to where it broke, half of my shoulder length hair, to start all over again. I did one Aphogee treatment, then a week later, hit it with ORS relaxer, problem solved! A year and a few months later, my hair is back down on my shoulders. I’ll never go natural ever again! Moisturizing shampoos & conditioners are a must!

Molly

says:FEBRUARY 28, 2016 AT 6:10 PM

Hi! In 2010 my hair fell out, and I spent the next year-and-a-half in weaves. 18 months later I’m natural and my hair is at my shoulders. It was pretty when straight, but would not stay. It would not hold a style. So I get a relaxer, and my hair starts shedding badly. (The bad reactions were caused my coconut oil as it made my hair dry and brittle, but I just found that out a few months ago) then I get psoriasis from an autoimmune condition so bad my scalp bleeds. So for another two years I stop relaxers. My hair kept shedding and getting dryer( too much protien) finally I went back to relaxers but only to loosen the curl. Now my styles stay. I’m still shedding from a chronic illness and the protien, but my hair is bra band length. Yesterday I went to a new salon, doctors orders, and the stylist said my “natural hair” is so healthy! And that I should let it all go natural. Well, none of it is natural! My ends are just straight because of a bad beautician. I relax my hair every four or so months to loosen the tightness and I love this method. Even the white girls raved after the beautician finished styling it. My hair when straight looks exactly like brand new weave, and I missed that when natural. I mean I could get it just as silky but it wouldn’t stay.. So texlaxsing is my ne strategy.

Lauren says:APRIL 5, 2016 AT 10:45 AMREPLY

I’m so glad you were able to find something that works for you , even with those challenges!

CAH says:FEBRUARY 8, 2016 AT 7:41 PM

I’ve been natural off and on for over 10 years. This weekend I just texlaxed my hair because I wanted versatility. I wanted to be able to straighten my hair without all the excessive heat used when pressing natural hair but I also wanted to have a little texture left so I can still do my wash n’ go’s. It’s sad that we have to justify how we choose to wear our hair.

Deva says:FEBRUARY 2, 2016 AT 11:13 AM

Thanks for this. I’ve never felt threatened with the thought of going natural. I’m texlaxed and have been my whole life. I can honestly say that although i enjoy the look of natural hair, I don’t have time for the maintenance. My relaxer has done me well and I’ll keep that chemical in my head for as long as I can.

Micah says:JANUARY 15, 2016 AT 9:13 AM

I have been free from the creamy crack for 8 years but today I’m so over it I was frustrated with my hair was about to make an appointment for my hairdresser and I’m just like I’m so tired of this and then I said wait what am I trying to prove I’m going to go get me a relaxer and that’s exactly what I’m going to do! MY QUESTION is what relaxer should I use???? since it’s been so long I don’t want my hair to fall out

SincerelyAlexisJ

says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 5:16 AM

Omg , I’m so upset that I just found this post . But I’m extremely happy at the same time ! This post and all the comments made me realize that it’s okay to keep my relaxed hair and not feel bad about it because everybody’s on this natural kick! I had THICK just above my shoulder length hair all my life(I’m 25 now). In August , I noticed my hair just wouldn’t get bone straight anymore when I relaxed it , went through 3 different perms and it just wouldn’t get straight. And because I have such thick and hard to manage hair, it would look like I still needed a perm. So I let my sister in law talk me into going natural(SMH!). The first two times she washed and flat ironed my hair(two weeks apart) , it looked nice . Then it kind of went down hill from there . My hair became SUPER thick , the thickest I had ever seen it before , I could not comb through it , it wouldn’t lay down , it was super dry no matter what I would put on it , etc . Then I noticed that when she would flat iron it , it started looking thinner and thinner.

Towards the ending of November I noticed the back of hair completely broke off ! My mom and I were so upset with what was going on with my hair so by the end of December , I decided to go back to my perms. I permed my hair for the first time since August on January 4th(last Thursday) and while I was in the shower A LOT of my hair was coming out in clumps. Not big clumps , but still they were noticeable clumps. After my protein treatment and deep conditioner , I blow dried my hair and saw that my hair had broken off in the middle of my head as well , not as bad as the back though. Also , when I was “natural” , when I would TRY to comb it , a lot of hair would be let left in the comb.

I’m very inclined to believe that all that heat that was being put on my hair caused a lot of damage, as well as it being soo dry. So I have to admit while I was natural that is when I noticed my hair started to fall out.

What do you think I should do to get it back healthy and growing again ? I’ve always had thick and dry hair and I’ve always done deep conditioners every week to retain the moisture , so I know that’s a given. But what else? Please help me , I’m miss my hair so much!

Adetomi says:MARCH 5, 2016 AT 7:36 PMREPLY

Cut the hair and start over. That’s the only way

Alexis says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 5:12 AM

Niquole Abram

says:JANUARY 13, 2016 AT 12:01 AM

I love this post so much! One of my coworkers was formally relaxed and is now natural and for her it was the best thing ever. For me on the other hand, I know I will relax until I can no longer relax my hair. I’ve had it done since I was at least 8 years old, I’m 27 and I love how my hair looks after.

I took over the reins when I was 12 and can now apply it in less than 7 minutes. I may have timed it a few times… Haha! It’s so much easier to manage as well. I can tell when it’s almost time because I notice it’s harder to comb thru or brush in general and to wash. Once it’s been relaxed, I’m golden!

I spend less time fussing over my hair with it relaxed than if I were to go natural. I’m half black so I think my natural hair texture would be a 3c/4b combination? Afterwards it relaxes to a 2b wavy/surly texture if that. I have flat iron and a blow dryer although I can’t work the blowdryer to save my life and the Flatiron may used once or twice a month to check on my length or do a trim.

I’m determined to prove that just because my hair is relaxed, does not mean I can’t have long and healthy hair. I’m on my way to hip length right now, it was at chin length about 2 years ago and now it’s down to just past my bra strap.

When I tell people that my hair is actually relaxed their jaws drop, a reaction I will never get tired of! What I do to lessen the damage of the relaxer that inevitably gets on the length is I’ll coat that portion of my hair with coconut oil. It seems to provide a bit of a barrier between my hair and relaxer so it doesn’t damage the previously relaxed hair as much. Also with my last relaxer, I did a henna treatment that next day. My roots felt like normal.

You know after a relaxer your roots fill a bit of dry even a little straw like? After doing the henna it felt perfectly fine! I’ve noticed that weird texture seems to go away within a week or so and the henna treatment seem to speed up that process so I think I’ll do henna after I do my relaxer as well.

jada says:DECEMBER 20, 2015 AT 10:39 PM

What do You do if You have a lot of Breakage an shedding? I haven’t had a perm in 2 months but i’m thinking about getting a perm because i want my hair to be straight an healthy. Do you have anything like Products to recommend for breakage, shedding and promoting hair growth ?

Chaka Khan

says:DECEMBER 16, 2015 AT 12:58 PM

Thank you so much, I am a year and a half out with natural hair and I hate it. I agree it takes to long to get it how I like it and I feel it was much healthier, when I permed it. It grew much faster. I will be switching back after the first of the year. Thank you again for all the tutorials.

Kalisha Adams says:DECEMBER 9, 2015 AT 9:33 AM

your hair is amazing and keep up the good work!

Lauren says:JANUARY 7, 2016 AT 12:11 PMREPLY

Thanks girl =)

V-Yella Westcoast

says:DECEMBER 2, 2015 AT 10:03 PM

I agree with Lauren, you can have healthy straight relaxed hair. Straight hair is easier to manage.

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yes-dal456 · 8 years ago

Text

Lead Poisons Children In L.A. Neighborhoods Rich And Poor

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With its century-old Spanish-style homes tucked behind immaculately trimmed hedges, San Marino, California, is among the most coveted spots to live in the Los Angeles area.

Its public schools rank top in the state, attracting families affiliated with CalTech, the elite university blocks away. The city’s zoning rules promote a healthy lifestyle, barring fast food chains.

Home values in L.A. County census tract 4641, in the heart of San Marino and 20 minutes from downtown Los Angeles, can rival those in Beverly Hills. The current average listing price: $2.9 million.

But the area has another, unsettling distinction, unknown to residents and city leaders until now: More than 17 percent of small children tested here have shown elevated levels of lead in their blood, according to previously undisclosed L.A. County health data.

That far exceeds the 5 percent rate of children who tested high for lead in Flint, Michigan, during the peak of that city’s water contamination crisis.

The local blood test data, obtained through a records request from the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, shows two neighboring San Marino census tracts are among the hotspots for childhood lead exposure in the L.A. area.

San Marino is hardly alone. Across sprawling L.A. County, more than 15,000 children under age 6 tested high for lead between 2011 and 2015. In all, Reuters identified 323 neighborhood areas where the rate of elevated tests was at least as high as in Flint. In 26 of them – including the two in San Marino, and some in economically stressed areas – the rate was at least twice Flint’s.

The data stunned San Marino Mayor Richard Sun, who said he wasn’t aware of any poisoning cases in the community.

“This is a very serious matter, and as the mayor, I really want to further explore it,” Sun said upon reviewing the numbers presented by Reuters. During an interview at City Hall, he directed city officials to investigate potential sources of exposure.

THOUSANDS OF U.S. LEAD HOTSPOTS

The L.A.-area findings are part of an ongoing Reuters examination of hidden lead hazards nationwide. Since last year, the news agency has identified more than 3,300 U.S. neighborhood areas with documented childhood lead poisoning rates double those found in Flint. Studies based on previously available data, surveying broad child populations across entire states or counties, usually couldn’t pinpoint these communities.

Despite decades of U.S. progress in curbing lead poisoning, millions of children remain at risk. Flint’s disaster is just one example of a preventable public health crisis that continues in hotspots coast to coast, Reuters has found.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s threshold for elevated lead is 5 micrograms per deciliter of blood. Children who test at or above that threshold warrant a public health response, the agency says. Even a slight elevation can reduce IQ and stunt childhood development. There’s no safe level of lead in children’s bodies.

In San Marino, old lead-based paint is likely the main source of exposure, county health officials said, but they added that imported food, medicine or pottery from China could also be a factor. About 80 percent of San Marino homes were built before 1960, and the community has a large Asian population, U.S. Census data show.

Exposure from old paint, drinking water and soil are widely researched. Other risks – including some candies, ceramics, spices or remedies containing lead from China, Mexico, India and other countries – are less known.

The L.A. blood data covers nearly 1,550 census tracts, or county subdivisions, each with an average population around 4,000. It shows the number of small children tested in each tract, and how many tested high.

In California, the exposure risks children face can vary wildly by neighborhood. Many L.A. areas have little or no documented lead poisoning. Countywide, 2 percent of children tested high. But in hundreds of areas, the rate is far higher. Reuters crunched the data, and neighborhood-level results can be explored on an interactive map.

In the trouble areas, old housing is commonplace. Nearly half of L.A. County’s homes were built before 1960. Lead was banned from household paint in 1978, but old paint can peel, chip, or pulverize into toxic dust.

Children are often exposed in decrepit housing. But in some U.S. areas, nearly a third of lead poisoning cases can be linked to home renovation projects, said Mary Jean Brown, a public health specialist at Harvard University and former director of the CDC’s lead prevention program.

San Marino residents take pride in preserving their historic homes. Among the measures Mayor Sun wants to consider: An ordinance to ensure safe practices any time home repairs or renovations could disturb lead paint.

Poverty is another predictor of lead poisoning, and many of L.A.’s danger zones are concentrated in low-income or gentrifying areas near downtown and on the city’s densely populated South Side.

In one low-income area of South L.A., Reuters met with the family of Kendra Nicole Rojas, a three-year-old recently diagnosed with lead poisoning, only to find that 63 other small children living within a six block radius have also tested high.

“A lot of people don’t even think of the West Coast as a place where kids get poisoned,” said Linda Kite, executive director at L.A.-based Healthy Homes Collaborative. “The biggest problem we have is medical apathy. Many doctors don’t test children for lead.”

The findings highlight a need for greater medical surveillance, abatement and awareness in the health-conscious county of 10 million, public health specialists said.

The county and city of Los Angeles have dedicated lead prevention programs that work with at-risk families. When a child’s blood levels persist above 10 micrograms per deciliter – double the CDC threshold – the family receives a home inspection, nurse visits and follow-up.

The effects of lead poisoning are irreversible, and the programs’ broader goal is to prevent any exposure. But success hinges on many actors, and assistance from agencies such as the CDC, the department of Housing and Urban Development and the Environmental Protection Agency. Like other regions, L.A. faces a looming hurdle in attacking hazards: President Donald Trump’s federal budget proposals would sharply cut funds for many lead-related programs.

“We’re aware of lots of areas where homes or soil contain significant levels of lead, and those can represent an urgent need to act,” said Maurice Pantoja, chief environmental health specialist for the county program. “Any fewer resources toward poisoning prevention would be a tragedy.”

A POISONED HOME

Just a few miles west of San Marino, in South Pasadena, one boy’s poisoning serves as a cautionary tale.

In an old, pastel-colored home on Hope Street, an infant named Connor was exposed to lead paint and dust in 2012.

The property is owned by California’s Department of Transportation, Caltrans, which had plans to expand a freeway in the area. Its floors were coated in chipping lead paint. During a bathroom repair, a crew showed up in “hazmat suits,” said tenant Cynthia Wright, Connor’s grandmother.

But as the crew worked, stripping toxic paint from walls and fixtures and unleashing plumes of dust, they told the family there was no need to leave the home, Wright said.

That was an unfortunate lapse, the state agency acknowledged. “There were errors in handling communications regarding this property and Caltrans has revised its business practices,” spokeswoman Lauren Wonder said, leading to “greater vigilance.”

Connor continued crawling around the floors. At age one, he began missing developmental milestones. Suddenly, he lost the ability to use the few words he could say.

When his mother, Heather Nolan, had him tested for lead, the result was almost five-fold the CDC threshold. Lead levels often peak among children ages one to two, when they are increasingly mobile and have hand-to-mouth behaviors.

Now six, Connor needs speech and occupational therapy up to five times a week. He hasn’t been able to integrate in a mainstream classroom.

“It’s not an easy road,” his grandmother said. “I would tell anyone in an old home, you really need to be aware of the risks.”

In 2015, the family settled a landmark lawsuit against Caltrans for $10 million. Wright still lives in the home, which has been remediated.

POOR PROSPECTS

Amid an affordable housing crisis in Los Angeles, many renters don’t confront landlords to fix lead paint hazards, fearing eviction if they raise the alarm, said Kite, the healthy homes advocate. That helps explain why so many children in south and central L.A. test high.

Karla Rojas, 26, was living with her extended family on 30th Street in a low-income area of South L.A. last year when her toddler, Kendra, started getting chronic bouts of illness.

Mother and daughter slept on the floor, near a bookshelf where an inspector later found flaking lead paint. Tested at the local St. John’s Well Child & Family Center, Kendra’s result came back at several times the CDC threshold.

Once county officials got involved, the landlord repainted the shelf and other areas where lead was found. Still, terrified her daughter’s exposure would continue, Rojas moved out.

“When you read about what lead can do, it makes me fear for her future,” said Rojas, watching three-year-old Kendra play with two new pet rabbits.

Exposure is common in the area, said Jeff Sanchez, a consultant at public health research firm Impact Assessment, which works with L.A.’s prevention program. Around the neighborhood, code inspectors have cited at least 35 percent of residential properties for chipping or peeling paint violations over a four-year period.

Paint isn’t the only peril. A mile and a half east, in Vernon, the now shuttered Exide Technologies battery-recycling plant spewed noxious emissions for decades, polluting soil in thousands of properties with lead residue. A planned $175 million cleanup will rely in part on children’s blood tests to determine which properties should be sanitized first. Past testing has shown that children living close to the plant are at heightened risk.

Yet California, like Michigan, doesn’t require lead screening for all children, leaving many untested.

Prompted in part by Reuters’ previous coverage, California cities and lawmakers are pushing new initiatives to protect children.

Bill Quirk, chair of the state legislature’s Committee on Environmental Safety and Toxic Materials, recently introduced a bill to require screening for all small children.

“I strongly support blood lead testing,” said U.S. Congresswoman Lucille Roybal-Allard, who represents part of L.A. County. “It’s important that residents have information about the threats they may face in their communities.”

‘DON’T WORRY, HE’S NOT AT RISK’

California’s current policy is to test children with known risk factors, including those enrolled in government assistance programs for the poor like Medicaid. The protocol, applied unevenly by healthcare providers, can miss poisoned kids.

In 2013, when apparel designer Amanda Gries and her husband, a Hollywood film editor, rented a home in L.A.’s West Adams neighborhood, she was pregnant with son Wyatt, now 3. The century-old mansion was in a rapidly gentrifying area south of downtown, near landmarks such as the Staples Center and the University of Southern California.

Gries, concerned about peeling paint and dust in the home, urged a pediatrician to screen Wyatt before his first birthday.

“The doctor didn’t want to test,” Gries said. “The message was, ‘Don’t worry, he’s not at risk.’ It was like he didn’t fit the profile.”

Gries insisted, and her fears were confirmed when Wyatt tested at nearly double the CDC’s elevated threshold. An inspection found lead in dust on the floor of Wyatt’s bedroom at 30 times the federal hazard level.

The family moved out quickly and searched citywide before settling into a home on L.A.’s west side, chosen because no lead was detected inside. Wyatt is bright and energetic, Gries said, but has impulsive behaviors. He needs occupational therapy for sensory issues, at nearly $200 per session.

Keeping Wyatt away from lead hazards and feeding him a special diet are part of the Gries’ daily routine. Poor nutrition can worsen lead poisoning, allowing children’s bodies to absorb more of the heavy metal.

“All we can do is hope he’s okay,” said Gries.

(Additional reporting by M.B. Pell)

(Editing by Ronnie Greene)

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