#pls be nice this is the first fanfic i've ever written | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maya-matlin · 23 days ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/hydesjackiespuddinpop/733253054933188608/estelanel-001-send-me-a-ship-and-i-will-tell

Sellie and Zaya pls 🥹?

Aw, thanks!

Sellie:

when I started shipping it if I did: It's always hard to answer this answer for the TNG ships. I was watching that show pretty young, so my thoughts were kind of all over the place. I want to say either late season 3 or season 4, but I don't think I truly appreciated them until Sean left the show.

my thoughts: Considering what show this is, Sellie had no business being as healthy as they were. I know the circumstances weren't great and that it could get a little codependent, but to me Sean and Ellie really saw each other. No, they didn't have the nostalgic first love thing or the big, dramatic, passionate kisses like Sean and Emma did, but their relationship felt more mature and definitely more stable. There was a lot of mutual respect, lack of judgment, and feeling so much joy simply from being around each other.

During the early seasons, Sean is never this happy and open with anyone. Ellie's kind of the same way. You wouldn't think she'd be the girl who happily danced with her boyfriend in the middle of a house party. Considering their aesthetic was the bad boy with the alternative girl, everything about them should scream angst but instead it's the complete opposite. I've always thought if Degrassi had been a show about adults and not teenagers, Sean and Ellie would have eventually gotten married. No question. Until a reboot says otherwise, they already are in my mind.

What makes me happy about them: Basically everything I said for the last question. Sean and Ellie are a big comfort ship for me. It doesn't help that the seasons after season 4 are mostly disappointing for both characters, so it's very easy to love the Sellie era.

What makes me sad about them: The way their relationship is constantly disrespected by the writers once they break up. The "forget Ellie" line at the beginning of season 6 is a big one for me. Why bring up Ellie at all?? It's been a year and a half. There was still a little something between Sean and Emma when he moved back to Wasaga Beach. It makes sense to explore that relationship again. But the way he says it, like it's so outrageous for anyone to think he could want to be with the former girlfriend he literally lived with and loved very much over someone he hadn't been with in nearly three years. It didn't have to be that way. Even in the minis, Sean's tattoo says Emma instead of Ellie. There's the whole Ellie being a sloppy drunk and making out with Sean when he's only interested in Emma. A big deal is made about how Ellie never slept with Sean at any point during their relationship. Sean 100% slept with Amy even though we as a fandom don't bring that up, so I'm not sure why it made a difference. For some reason, Sellie has always been cut down to make Sean's relationship with Emma look better, and I'll never understand why. Also, that Ellie mostly got stuck pining for Craig after breaking up with Sean.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: I haven't read many Sellie fics. I'm not sure there are any recent ones. But since I'm sure they exist, there's no need to shit on Emma or make her out to be a bitch or a slut or anything like that just to justify Sean being with Ellie instead. They're a quality ship on their own. They don't need all of that.

things I look for in fanfic: All I want is a soft, quality fic where Sean and Ellie live happily ever after. I want their dreams to have come true and for both to be happy.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: For Sean, Emma if their reunion was well written. I have nothing nice to say about their season 6 relationship. I don't know who that guy was kissing Emma. For Ellie, Jimmy or Alex. I understand why Ellie didn't like Jimmy back and I don't approve of Jimmy emotionally cheating on Hazel, but they had good chemistry. With Alex, I just really like Queen of Hearts where they almost lived together. I feel like there was potential there for them to have what Palex had.

My happily ever after for them: This is really simple, but Sean moves back to Toronto after serving his tour (I don't know the military terminology) and meets up with Ellie by chance. It's a little awkward at first and they weren't at all prepared to see each other again, but it's been long enough since their breakup that they'd probably just catch up with little problem. But also, there's an instant physical attraction because just look at modern day Daniel Clark and Stacey Farber. It wouldn't be immediate, but they'd develop a friendship and feel those old feelings coming back. They get back together. It lasts. They probably live together for a few years before finally getting married. I see them having a kid or two. Sean owns his own auto shop while Ellie is a renowned journalist. They live a simple life, but they're very happy.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Sean's the big spoon and Ellie's the little spoon

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: I'm always terrible at these types of questions. They mostly feel like homebodies to me. Dancing? Any activity that allows physical intimacy.

Zaya:

when I started shipping it if I did: Right about here:

my thoughts: LOL oh my god. I had a nice little rant about Sellie but with these two, my brain instantly turns to goo. That's when you know you're invested. Their chemistry is great. Their arc, though frustrating and difficult to watch at times, is mostly solid. I love everything about the way their relationship changes countless times over only four years. Sometimes they lose each other. There are times where they're closer. There are times when they're each other's number one ride or die. The relationship, whether they're dating or not, is rock solid and nothing is coming between them. Others, they're sort of okay being away from each other. Long enough that they almost forget how much better life is when they're together. But once they're reminded, it's so natural for them to be together again. Does that make any sense? Zig and Maya have an undeniable connection that is so rooted in friendship and mutual understanding on top of the fact they're head over heels in love with each other. It's the way they look after each other. The way they feel protective and defensive of each other. Even when one is at their worst, the other has a way of seeing through all the BS and still sees the person they are at the heart of it. It's the way that even when they're not on the same page and the other has broken their heart, they're still friends. They can't help but default back to that. It's the way that even after their awful breakup, their reconnection somehow makes so much sense. I love how they grew into people who could have a permanent, adult relationship.

What makes me happy about them: Everything TBH. But other than the fact they ended up together and the fact I got most of what I wanted for their relationship, it's how happy and comfortable they seem to be together. No one can seriously tell me they aren't the loves of each other's lives. It's friends to lovers done right.

I know I went a little overboard, but hear me out. They're worth it.

What makes me sad about them: The specific way they were broken up, the fact the Next Class episode count was so short which robbed me from seeing much more Zaya cuteness and angst, the fact I didn't get to see the official reunion, that I'll never see a new Zaya scene again

things done in fanfic that annoys me: I don't think I'm that picky. Certain clunky writing jumps out at me, but it's not the worst. But why did Owen pop up in so many Zaya fan fics back in 2013-2015?? He barely acknowledges his own brother. Why is he driving Maya to a doctor's appointment? Surprisingly, that's my only complaint. There's so little Zaya fic that I don't even recall much character bashing.

things I look for in fanfic: Happy, supportive, healthy Zaya with great communication, both separately working towards self improvement. Mostly I just need the "Zig and Maya's Adventures in California" series to continue, because it's so accurate and respectful to these characters, their traumas, and their histories that I'm half convinced I willed it into existence.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Very funny. But seriously, people they meet outside of Degrassi. I don't think any of their other canon relationships came close to being the right ones for them. Like, maybe Jonah with a different personality or Frankie if she wasn't rich, but even that doesn't feel right.

My happily ever after for them: Basically just a continuation of their canon ending. Zig moves with Maya to California. They take some time before getting back together. Maya would want to prioritize her mental health while Zig is still recovering from the end of his relationship with Esme and finally working through a lot of the issues that have been on the backburner, causing recurring problems for him. But eventually, their feelings become too difficult to resist, and it doesn't take them long to get back together. Their relationship in the present is much stronger. It's not perfect, but they communicate with each other and work through any issues as a team. It's very much a best friends in love situation. I imagine by this point, they're in the middle of a long engagement. There's no rush to get married, but it's definitely on their minds and something they're working towards.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Usually, Zig is the big spoon while Maya is the little spoon. But there are times when it's the other way around.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Anything and everything involving music. They love music festivals, concerts, and just playing music together in their apartment.

#Sellie #otp: Move in with someone who loves you #Zaya #otp: It felt like the world was gonna end #nikkiruncks #Long post #Not my gifs

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euphor1a · 2 years ago

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hello. just wanted to say that I love all your works.

funny story, your fic was actually the first ever fanfic that I read. it was a little over a year back, I was in a not-so-good headspace. and just searched up 'yeonjun fanfic' on google lmao just for the heck of it. tried wattpad, was scarred💀 twt was just not for me. and then tried tmblr and was greeted by one of your yeonjun drabbles. ngl, I was a little taken aback at the liberal use of the obscene words lmao. and then since I didn't know how to actually use tmblr, I just read all of your works. and I mean all. so the works that literally don't even exist anymore, I've read them too!

so I've been with your works way back when you were cupidchois. and my tmblr journey began with you so you're like the OG for me lol.

also, the not-so-good-headspace was due to this huge huge life changing entrance exam I had and your fics provided comfort. but when the exam date was too near, I stopped using tmblr for like 3 months.

but before going, I read whatever little part of bewitched you had written and remember thinking that okay when I come back after all this time, it might be a completed series. also, the release date for the yj sugarpapi fic was 14 feb but you said you needed more time. and I thought yeah I'm gonna be gone a long long time. it'll be there when I come back.

if only I knew lol. when I came back you had a brand new blog, half of your fics were missing, sugarpapi never came out, and get this, bewitched had actually gone BACKWARDS because you decided to rewrite it! lmfao, I'm not tryna sound rude or pushy at all. please dont take it the wrong way. the situation was just sooo funny.

so yeah, that's my history with your blog lol.

anywhoo, love your works a whole lot and thank you for introducing me to this hellsite without even knowing it<3

much love<3

... wow 😭😭😭, i’m genuinely struggling to find words to type here. Goodness. This is making me feel so many emotions like kdghfghfgh HOLD AWN 😭

!!! Thank you so much for sending this in, first of all?? This is like a peak moment™ of my tumblr life i’m not even kidding 😭!!! Especially because I kinda ended up joining tumblr in a very similar way, except that my OG was far more consistent than me with their blog and works 😅! Take me back to 2017 pls—

I’m pretty sure a lot of us here actually started out with just searching up fanfics on google and then finding tumblr in the search results. Because same! I did not know something like tumblr existed and my experience with wattpad was equally traumatising 😵; thank god for the hellsite. It sure is very annoying at times but it’s also nice that we can have our own little bubble here!

Lsjskdjkfj “liberal use of the obscene words” IM DYING 😭! Thank you for still reading them though 😭! A part of me is very embarrassed because I’ve... well, grown to find my old stuff very poorly written (hence all the rewriting) but a part of me is? Super fucking flattered? And proud? THANK YOU 🙈🙈

The fact that whatever the fuck I wrote actually provided comfort to a human being is enough for me to just go on and quit everything and live a life of a saint. It’s crazy... I never dared to imagine that my writing could actually do that? Because I always think that whatever I write is pretty forgettable tbh. Like you read it and move on and never think back. Anyway, I hope you are feeling better now, lovely 🥺! I’ve been in similar places throughout my life and damn I know how badly education related pressure fucks you up :(

Ah yes... Bewitched. Sigh. I have a love-hate relationship with that kid. I think I have mentioned this before in some random rant post, but god, rewriting is so hard. Because I spend most of the time regretting how I wrote it instead of the actual fixing and editing and rewriting. I won’t abandon it, but at this rate I’m not sure when I’ll be able to invest myself completely in rewriting either. It’s only harder because my daydreams have no ends and the amount of newer wips that I want to finish and post keeps increasing. And to top it off, there’s ✨real life✨, being an absolute pain in the ass constantly.

Also Sugarpapi 😭! It’s honestly me vs. the unrealistic high standards I’ve set for myself at this point. But you know what? I’ll take my time with it. Because I think taking it slow is better in all aspects. Like yeah, I could just half-ass it and put all the pressure in the world on myself to finish it sometime soon, but we all know that’ll be a mess itself, and will make me one too. It’s coming. I promise. Maybe in another year 💀

“If only I knew” — me at least twice a day skshksjk 😭;; it be like that 🙁! Apologies for the unexpected jump-scares you got from my whole new blog and all :'))

I will eventually repost the works people wanted to be reposted — surprise, almost all of my cupidchois’ masterlist actually ended up there after I rounded everything up (and almost nothing from my bts blog minus the reactions), so there’s that. And, I can’t even explain how much this ask actually means to me. Crazy stuff. Life changing.

Thank you so much!!! I’m sending you a parcel full of positive energy and my love, which is not enough but it’s the best I can do atm </3

#📬; aleyna’s mailbox #jealusty #🌸; my petals!#your username is 🤲🏼#god i actually took more than 30 minutes to write this what #i was just causally checking my notifications before bed and saw your ask #and it made me feel so elite like i felt so important 😆#wow.... thanks again!#i should probably go to sleep now tho kdhkdhk it’s 4:30 am yikes 😳#for safekeeping 💌

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feitan-apologist · 4 years ago

Text

Feitan x Reader (Not SFW)

Content Warnings: 18+ only, Noncon (dead dove do not eat), kidnapping+imprisonment, whipping, orgasm control, forced orgasm, verbal degradation

AFAB reader

Synopsis: reader is a beginner nen user and has been investigating the phantom troupe. instead of killing them, our smol sadist decides kidnapping them to play with might be more fun :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moment you regain consciousness, you know something is wrong.

Your awareness comes back slowly, dragging itself up out of a murky haze, and with it discomfort. The first stirring of alarm comes when you try to move your arms. Still shrouded in fog, you strain for a few futile seconds before realizing that your arms are tied behind your back, you think with rope, and you can’t move them at all. The stiffness in your shoulders tells you that you’ve been positioned like this for a while.

Instinctively, you call forth your En, wanting to know where you are and what - or who - is around you. But when you reach for the power that’s simmered under your skin for the past year, always ready, always accessible, something just… doesn’t connect. You still have a life force, obviously, but it feels blocked off somehow, like it’s just beyond your reach, fingertips brushing it but unable to grasp ahold.

The twinge of alarm in your chest has ballooned into panic, and you start to sweat, heart hammering against the inside of your chest. From the feel of it, your ankles are tied to the legs of a narrow table that you’re currently bent over, holding your legs spread open; in addition to your arms bound behind you by an intricate braid of rope that secures you from shoulder to wrist, you can feel something fitted snugly around your neck. As you open your eyes, seeing nothing but a blank, dark wall in front of you, your attempt to lift your head is stopped with a jolt as the short chain attaching your collar to the table snaps taut. And most insidiously, the chilled air brushing against your skin tells you that you’re completely naked.

As your brain processes all this new information, a single coherent thought pops into your head - oh, fuck.

“You’re awake.”

The quiet voice behind you makes you freeze. You stop breathing, every muscle tense, as the voice’s owner slowly steps into your field of vision, and when you see who it is, you could swear your heart stops beating.

“Feitan.” Your strangled whisper, barely audible even to you, prompts the corner of his mouth to rise imperceptibly. The Phantom Troupe’s torturer stands relaxed before you, shirtless, pale chest shining in the dim light. His face is impassive; he seems completely emotionless as he stares down at you, bound and growing increasingly panicked before him.

“You can’t use your Nen,” he says in that soft, unsettling voice of his. “I’m sure you’ve noticed by now. But there’s no point in trying. You can’t escape.”

“W-Why am I here?” you choke out, every muscle in your body still rigid. You can’t stand to meet his gaze; instead, your eyes stare straight ahead, unblinking.

“You were getting a little too nosy for our liking. I was just going to kill you, but when we were going through your computer, we saw some… interesting things in your search history. I was so surprised, a bland little thing like you… I decided it would be a shame to kill you without playing with you first.”

You recoil in disgust at his choice of words. What the fuck?? What is he talking about? Your mind scrambles for a response, but he continues before you can get a word in.

“I can tell you’re afraid.” He removes a hand from his pocket and cups your chin, tilting your head as far as the collar and chain will allow and forcing you to lock eyes with him. He smiles, and your blood runs cold. The look in his eyes is unmistakably that of a predator sizing up its prey. “That’s good. You should be.”

With that word, he releases you, striding back around the table where you can’t see him. You strain your head, trying to track his movements, but the collar gives you a very limited range of vision. “Wait!” you cry, “what are you - please, what do you want? I’ll - I’ll give you what you want, just please let me go.” Your voice comes out terribly weak-sounding, and you inwardly scream, pulling against your restraints with a renewed vigor, desperately trying to conjure forth the Nen that continues to elude your grasp. He snickers, the sound coming from a good distance away, so you jump in shock when his hand caresses your ass a moment later, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You shrink from his touch, shrink from the thought of what your revealing position, bent over like this, implies. No… he wouldn’t… he can’t…

“I already have what I want. I’ve caught you, and now I get to have my fun with you.” There’s no mistaking the glee in his voice, filling you with dread, your mind whirring ever faster toward the inescapable truth of the situation. His hand slips away from your ass, and you hear a faint rustling - he’s holding something, but you don’t know what. The seconds tick past, no indication of movement from behind you, and you find yourself holding your breath in anticipation. Your heartbeat thuds against the table, against the inside of your chest, the utter silence threatening to drown you, the blood roaring in your ears, what is he going to do to me, oh god oh god oh god-

Your thoughts are cut off as the whip cracks across your ass, hard, and you scream - honestly at first merely from the shock of the impact and the loud noise, adrenaline numbing your senses. But a moment later the pain registers in your brain, a line of white-hot fire running across your backside, and your throat tightens, breathing growing fast and shallow. “Feitan, please-”

“Oh, that hurts, does it? I thought you were tougher than that.”

The whip slashes you again, lower this time, leaving another line of heat in its wake. “Stop!” you cry, desperately fighting back the tears forming in your eyes. He laughs wordlessly, letting a long, silent second stretch out before slashing you again, then again, each crack of the whip punctuated by your cries. You strain your head, trying to see where he is so you can anticipate when the next hit will come, but he’s out of your field of vision - the only thing you can see is the blank wall in front of you. He’s varying the amount of time between whips on purpose, you realize, sometimes landing three or four in agonizingly quick succession, sometimes letting long seconds stretch between each one. The anticipation has you shivering, squirming in your tight constraints, not knowing when the next lick of pain will cut into your flesh. He’s trying to get inside your head, amplify your fear and helplessness, make you weak.

And fuck, it’s working. You’ve taken worse than this in training, far worse, and he’s right, you are tougher than this. A whipping should not be enough to have you undone, tears now streaming down your cheeks, body flinching as the blows land across your exposed ass and thighs. Except… training had also never left you with this terrible tension between your legs. The criss-crossing web of angry red marks Feitan’s whip had created were practically glowing with heat, and while the stinging, burning sensation was undoubtedly painful, with the anticipation and the fear and your adrenaline-addled brain… it also felt a whole lot like pleasure.

As the whip landed again, the cry you let out was unmistakably close to a moan. You could hear the delight in Feitan’s voice as he stepped closer, running a hand across the angry flesh of your backside, his cool fingers tracing the lines he’d made. “Like I said, I was surprised at the things you watched to get off. We share many of the same tastes, you know. But between the two of us, we both know which one is the little masochist.” At the word masochist, his hand dips between your legs and strokes the wetness that’s gathered there. You gasp as his fingers find your clit, swirling over it in a motion that draws a moan equal parts shame and desire from your lips. “What a fucking slut you are,” he murmurs, “getting wet from me whipping you. You’re pathetic.” You cry out as he slides two fingers into you, curling them against just the right spot.

“Don’t,” you whimper, “please.”

“Oh, you don’t think this feels good?” Feitan asks. “Fine. Maybe you’ll prefer this.” His fingers slip out of you and you can hear him rummaging with something underneath the table. Realization dawns on you as a telltale buzzing starts up, a moment before he presses the vibrator against your clit. You moan, back arching involuntarily as you press down onto the wand, shame flooding through you a moment later at how good it feels.

“No, stop, don’t… don’t make me-”

“Oh, I’m not making you do anything,” Feitan says, securing the vibrator in place and sliding his fingers back into you. He leans over you, drawing his fingers in and out in a slow, consistent rhythm. “It’s not my fault you’re a little painslut that gets off from me hurting you.” He lowers his head to your bare shoulder, and as you feel his cool breath on your hot skin, you wonder if he is bizarrely going to kiss you. When his mouth meets your flesh, however, it’s his teeth that sink in, eliciting a new, different sort of pain. You can’t help but moan as he harshly works his mouth on you, sucking and biting your skin in a way you know is going to leave a bruise. You writhe, trying to get away from the sensations of pain, of pleasure, the two almost indistinguishable now, overwhelming you. You realize with horror that you’re already well on your way to orgasm - usually it takes you longer than this, but fuck, you can’t help it, you can’t stop the bombardment of stimuli hitting your body, his fingers working expertly inside of you, the burning marks covering your backside, the vibrator inescapably pressed against your clit.

“Please stop,” you beg, humiliated, desperate, you can’t come from what this monster is doing to you. Being degraded like this is bad enough, but you can’t give him the satisfaction of enjoying it.

“Getting close, are we?” Feitan leans further over you, whispering his next words directly into your ear. “Don’t you dare come without my permission. Understand?” When you don’t respond immediately, he grabs a fistful of your hair with his free hand and pulls, hard. You yelp, and quickly stutter your assent, yes, you understand. “Good.” He lets go of your hair, releasing the tension on your scalp, but in the next moment his mouth is on the side of your neck, working his teeth into the soft flesh above the collar. You jerk away but are stopped short by the chain, and he digs his teeth in so hard you’re afraid he’s going to draw blood.

It’s jarring having him so close, so intimate. The faint scent of his hair, the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the wet heat of his mouth - it’s a disgusting parody of the intimacy shared by actual lovers. You close your eyes, squeezing out the tears still freely flowing, and try desperately to dissociate. You don’t want to be here, trapped in your aching body; you will your mind to go anywhere else, to drift off in some fantasy that will let you escape the horror of what this man is doing to you. But you can’t. If it were purely pain you had to endure, you’d be able to do it, you were sure, but you’d never had to contend with someone using your own body against you like this.

The seconds tick past as you writhe and moan and shake beneath him, gritting your teeth, breath coming in short gasps, and then - you can’t do it. Your resolve breaks, you can’t do it, you can’t hold back any longer, you feel like you’re going to explode, and you let the pleasure come freely, gasping as you reach the edge. Remembering his threat, you ask through clenched teeth, “Can I come?” Feitan leans back, huffing out a breath, and you can feel the self-satisfied smirk on his face. He’s won.

You don’t understand when the stimulation suddenly disappears, his fingers slipping out of you and the vibrator pulling away. Your pussy clenches around nothing, desperately seeking the pleasure that was there a moment before, the orgasm still so close. A sound of utter betrayal escapes your lips as you realize what he’s done.

“What? Weren’t you asking me to stop just a few minutes ago? I thought this is what you wanted.” The glee in his voice is unmistakable, and in that moment, you hate him with every cell in your body.

“You fucking basta-Aagghh!” your words are cut off as the whip slashes across your ass again, catching you completely off guard. You sob in anger and pain as he whips you hard, five times in immediate succession. The brief break your tender flesh had been granted only heightens the pain as five fresh marks join the lattice of swollen lines covering your ass and thighs. “Fuck!” you scream, fresh tears springing to your eyes.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Feitan says derisively. In the next instant, he’s pressing the vibrator against your clit again, laughing at the way your body immediately reacts, arching into the stimulation. You can’t fight the whimpers escaping your mouth, every muscle in your body tense and shaking as the orgasm previously denied to you builds back to a crescendo.

“Please can I come?” you cry, and the fact that you already know the answer doesn’t ease the agony as Feitan pulls the vibrator away, leaving you teetering on the edge but unable to push yourself over. You sob as he whips you again, no longer making even the barest effort to hide your pain and frustration. You realize distantly that you’re breathing too fast, too shallow, and your head is spinning; it’s a good thing you’re laid out on this table, because there’s no way you could remain standing right now.

Done with the whip for the moment, Feitan leans over you, sliding two fingers deep into your cunt and rubbing your clit with the other hand. “Do you know how absolutely dripping wet you are right now?” he murmurs. “It’s pathetic.”

“Fuck you,” you reply through gritted teeth, but then he curls his fingers in just the right way, and- “Aaahhh, pleeeease may I come?”

“No,” he replies, voice full of malicious glee, pulling away, and you brace yourself for the whip you know is coming. You’re caught completely off guard, then, when he presses the vibrator against your clit just moments later, and you’re immediately pushed back to the edge.

“OhhhhfuckcanIcome?” you gasp, and when he pulls the vibrator away, the noise you make is one of absolute despair. You’re exhausted from the pain, from the stress, from the edging; you’re dimly aware of how not in control you are, mind clouded over with fear and desperation and the overwhelming desire - no, need to come, you’ve never been this desperate in your life, and while you hate the man standing behind you with your whole being, you’re also utterly dependent on him for the release your body is begging for. “Feitan,” you whimper, “please, I’m begging you, please, stop, I need to…”

“Oh, you need to, do you?” He runs his hand over your ass, fingers grazing over the lines he’s left, dipping lower to teasingly trace over your cunt before returning to their original path. “You’ll just die if I don’t let you come, will you? Is that how this works?” He laughs at your quiet stream of pleases, muttered almost unintelligibly as you shake and cry before him.

His hand disappears, and suddenly he’s in front of you again, crouched down so that your eyes are level with his. His fingers curl into your hair and yank, forcing your eyes open, and you stare at him through a haze of tears. “You want to come? Earn it. And don’t even think about biting me - you won’t live long to regret it.” He stands, hands fumbling with the front of his pants, and you understand as he frees his cock and shoves it against your lips. You hesitate, recoiling at the thought, but as he grabs your hair again and pulls hard, you open your mouth for him.

Feitan doesn’t hesitate to shove his cock down your throat, making you gag and struggle to turn your head away, fighting his grip. He holds himself there for a long moment, then pulls out long enough for you to gasp for air before shoving himself in again. You struggle to control your tongue and lips as he fucks your mouth in earnest, staying just shy of the point that will make you gag but setting a rapid pace that almost immediately has you struggling to take in enough air. You’re torn between a desire to make this as unpleasant as you can for him and just wanting it to be over as quick as possible. Not that you have much control over that anyways - both of his hands are tangled in your hair now, controlling the speed and angle of his thrusts, and you can’t so much as turn your head away.

“Look at me,” he growls. You strain to meet his gaze at this awkward angle, and a jolt runs through you as you lock eyes. His face is twisted into what could only be described as a manic euphoria - eyes wide, pupils dilated, a slight sheen of sweat coating his temple, and a smile of pure, sadistic delight on his face. It’s the expression of someone unhinged from reality - and who’s loving every moment of what they’re doing.

Feitan pulls out of your mouth suddenly, leaving a strand of saliva hanging from your lips to the head of his cock. He surprises you as he releases his grip on your hair and lowers a hand to caress your cheek; the gesture is soft, completely incongruous with the rest of his actions. “You look perfect like this, you know,” he says quietly. You stare back at him in shock, at a loss for words. What is that expression in his eyes? If the thought didn’t strike you as absolutely absurd, you’d call it affectionate.

You don’t have time to say anything, though, as he strides around the table again and positions himself behind you. You let out a choked cry as you feel something hard press up against your opening, and within the next moment he’s pushed inside you. The “No” dies on your lips as he slides in deep, stretching you out, hitting every nerve inside you, and your back arches against your will. You don’t want it to feel good, you don’t want this at all, but the fresh tears that slide down your cheeks as he begins fucking you aren’t ones of pain. Your body screams in pleasure every time he slams into you, rough and fast, his hands gripping your whip-damaged hips, and you’re reminded just how close you were to coming before. The slight gasps coming from behind you tell you that Feitan is getting there as well, and you fleetingly rejoice at the thought that this will be over soon.

The sound that leaves your mouth when he reaches down to rub your clit would have made you ashamed, before. Now, the only thought in your head is of release. You’re at the edge again immediately as his fingers practically attack your clit, rubbing too hard, too fast, it’s almost painful, and you don’t even attempt to ask before letting the orgasm bloom inside you. In that moment, everything falls away. Your entire awareness is focused on the pulsing heat between your legs and his cock still pounding into you, your pussy clenching around every thrust as you come harder than you ever have in your life. You don’t know if you scream or sob or stay silent. You aren’t aware of anything besides how unimaginably, exquisitely perfect you feel.

It’s bliss.

You barely notice as Feitan comes inside of you, pushing in as deep as he physically can before eventually pulling out, leaving you limp on the table. You don’t know how long you lay there, eyes shut, mind drifting in and out of awareness as he does god knows what in the room behind you. You like it this way. It’s so much easier not to think.

When he eventually walks around into your field of vision, he’s fully clothed, face covered by a bandana, his earlier expression now replaced with the usual impassivity. He crouches so his face is at eye level with yours and gazes coolly at you. “You disobeyed me.”

“I - what?” you mumble, raising your head.

“You came without asking permission,” Feitan says calmly, drawing a knife from his pocket. You stiffen, eyes wide as he raises the blade and delicately traces your jaw with it, keeping the pressure light enough to not break the skin. “I told you you’d regret it if you disobeyed me. And you did it anyways. You’re even more of a masochist than I thought.”

“No - I - that’s not-”

“Shut up.” The blade is at your lips now, tracing the outline of your Cupid’s bow. “I made a good choice when I brought you here. You’re going to be a very entertaining little pet. Now-” he stands abruptly. “I’ll be back in a few hours. I’ll punish you then.”

You twist your head around as you try to follow his departure from your field of vision, a sense of relief filling you at the thought of even a temporary reprieve. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he says from behind you. You jerk as he clicks the vibrator to life and presses it against your overly sensitive clit, trying to angle your hips away. He only pushes it harder up against you and secures it in place against the table with what sounds like a metal clamp. “Maybe this will make you more obedient.” You squirm, arching your back and wriggling your hips to try to escape the stimulation, but it’s no use - the vibrator is pressed up snugly against you, and it won’t budge. Your stomach drops as you realize how he’s going to leave you.

“Wait!” you cry, mind racing for something to say to make him change his mind.

Your answer is the slam of the door behind him as Feitan walks out.

#feitan portor #hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh imagines #feitan x reader #reader insert #hunter x hunter imagines #feitan imagines #yandere #yandere hxh #my writing #pls be nice this is the first fanfic i've ever written #😅

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andallthatmishigas · 3 years ago

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pls may i ask two for the fanfic ask? bc i am still stuck on them ♡♡♡

walking the wire & a new genesis ♡♡♡

(you have no idea how much your writing helps me through things and i feel weird leaving a comment every time but maybe i should start so you know)

Oh my goodness bless you. I love these questions, and I love those stories so so so so much. And you can comment 10000 times and I'll love it 10000+ times. Because I genuinely do go back and reread reviews all the time. It makes me so happy!

Anyway onto this. Walking the Wire and A New Genesis for each question:

2. What scene did you first put down?

WtW: I had the first scene written for a long time before I actually wrote anything more or even thought of any plot beyond that one moment. The idea of Lucien asking Jean out on a date and being all nervous about it and adorable. I had that saved in my notes and then the more I listened to the Imagine Dragons song (of the same name as the story), it sort of came together in my head.

ANG: First chapter. I had the plot and concept in my mind for a while and then sat down and just wrote that first chapter in one go while at my parents' house for some reason. In case it wasn't obvious, I am the kind of writer who starts at the beginning and goes from there. I can't skip around. I'm way too Type A for it lol.

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

WtW:

Lucien continued, "And now, being here together, I can't help thinking that us being together, hopefully marrying one day soon…I know it won't be an easy road, Jean. For you much moreso than for me. But I just hope that if we can cling to each other, we can stay up here always. Holding each other and walk the wire together. There's no limit to how high we can go. And if anyone else has a problem with it, well…"

"Look out down below," she interjected softly.

ANG:

Lucien paused right in front of the altar table, placed his hands down flat on it, and leaned forward. Jean could not see is face, but from the tone of his voice she could hear him sneer, "What did I ever do to You? How did I offend You so brutally that You subject me to this? I was arrogant, I was oblivious, sometimes uncaring. I know that. I won't deny it. I've lived a far from perfect life. But wasn't the camp punishment enough? Wasn't losing my family in front of my eyes enough penance for my sins?" He pushed off the table and started shouting. "I have served you faithfully! I have led your flocks! Why have You tempted me with love and happiness that You have forbidden me to possess? Is it a test? Well, surely I've failed. Surely I would fail any test because of her."

11. What do you like best about this fic?

WtW: The first half, I think, is really good. It falters a bit towards the end. But I love the exploration I got to do with Jean's judgmental attitude towards Lucien and divorce and her lust and herself and how she overcomes all of that. I think that struggle is the thing I like best. I've got to reread this one soon.

ANG: This story combines one of my favorite things which is sexualizing and blaspheming the Catholic Church. Protestants? Nothing sexy there. Catholics? That's my shit. And I just get such a thrill over blasphemy tbh. Nice Jewish girl vibes, thank you very much. (The scene where Lucien fucks Jean on the altar in the church is what I was entirely building up for the whole entire story and I'm super proud of it.)

13. What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

WtW: So I was making playlists for each of my major stories for a little while, but I didn't start doing that until after I'd finished each of these two stories, BUT this story is 100% inspired by THIS SONG which I was just captivated by and needed to write something for it.

ANG: This was tough for me to answer. I don't think I have a specific song or artist or vibe for this one. I looked through my other story playlists for some Blake fics (Forever in Your Arms, Ivy) and the closest I could really think of to apply to this story was THIS SONG which is less blasphemy, my favorite theme of the story, and more the sort of obsessive sacrifice that Lucien goes through so I suppose it works.

#malfuria #I LOVED THIS THANK YOU

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spacenintendogs · 5 years ago

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Let’s try this again, this time with me reading things through all of the way 😂 slam those Fox McCloud opinions on me! 🔥

aight we can do your boi asfngnrg

now, I've already said in the past that i’m not the biggest fan of sf assault fox bc out of all of them, he’s probably the most bland character in the whole game and my least fave version of fox (but I do like the fact he has the brown tips on his ears.... great design choice bring it bACK Nintendo)

now, I suppose I should balance this out and talk abt my fave fox, but the thing is I've got two faves: zero/starlink fox and itoh fox. but i'm going to talk abt zero/starlink fox for now, mostly starlink bc he's definitely my number one fave fox atm, and idk if that's... common? ik some ppl who don't like starlink's star fox plotline, at least with the base game (dlc makes it better) but it's usually bc of what wolf is doing. i don't see much talk abt fox, and that's a shame bc he's something ubisoft got 100% nailed for me.

I draw fox’s zero/starlink design the most, mostly bc it is easier for me to draw and... he’s one of my faves lol. ik ppl who don’t like fox being a good boy scout but personally I like the idea of a mercenary who doesn’t always take a job at the expense of it being immoral, it’s interesting for conflict purposes and it feeds into fox’s apparent self sacrificing idiocy and him having a hero-complex. and in zero, yes fox is on the side with the good guys, but would he have even reformed star fox if andross hadn't killed james? would he have gone all he way through academy and simply been a cornerian solider/pilot, if he wasn't so bent on defeating andross which would yes, save the lylat system, but also avenge his father? but starlink, they way he’s written makes me have heart eyes every single time I adore him in starlink, THAT’S a good fox right there.

I love mike west’s voice for him, I really really do, more than jay zieja, who voiced fox in the battle begins. mike west’s voice, especially in starlink and zero, has this sort of arrogance to him, like “fuck yeah i’m fox mccloud” and I loooove how sharp his voice is, plus it’s a lower register, not a deep voice, but it’s a nice, sharp baritone, and I think it rlly suits fox and how he carries himself. the way he walks in starlink with his head up high, if he’s got confidence issues he’s faking it until he makes it. his voice is why I can never take any art or fanfics portraying fox as an “uwu soft babey uke (fuck I hate that word) boi” seriously, ever. please think abt any of that stuff, if you’ve seen it, and imagine whatever fox is saying in the art or the fic in mike west’s voice for him.

but starlink fox... he’d punch me in the face and i’d thank him tbh.

fox not too long after they all get shot down and one of the first things he says is "gotta find the boys" HE CARES!!! HE LOVES HIS TEAM!!!! HE LOVES HIS TWO BEST FRIENDS AND HE LOVES HIS ADOPTIVE FATHER!!!!

and starlink fox has this aura of chill abt him, like, him saying "it was kinda funny" after peppy made a dad joke, and then later when slippy makes the comment abt peppy being a hotshot "back in the day" and peppy says "HEY!!" and fox LAUGHS!!! WOW GOOD MOMENTS TY UBISOFT FOR THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: FOX MCCLOUD HAS A BAD SENSE OF HUMOR. PERFECT also just?? more fox mccloud laughing pls?? i also thought the jokes were funny bc i also have a bad sense of humor bIJJjjaw

or fox's exasperated "becoming more like yer father, i know" god he's TIRED of that shit. but he can't be mad abt it, he can't be mad at peppy abt it bc yeah, he gets it, but the way he says "i know" so disappointed like...

also starlink fox saying his homeplanet/birth planet is papetoon, god bless america.

also just look at him:

he's an absolute lad and i adore him with every fiber of my being. he is the fox mccloud i was introduced with, and he will always be my fox mccloud.

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selfcarecap · 3 years ago

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@ sparkles <3

okay omg I didn't realise I took this long to reply to your message I'm so sorry IT WAS LITERALLY LAST YEAR (omg I'm on my laptop and don't have emojis I am out of my natural element but that's okay). I've been kind of sick and also kind of bored but yeah for some reason I haven't replied yet but I will now even though I probably have nothing to say that's even remotely as sweet and meaningful as what you said but yeah I simply can't NOT reply to a message like that <3

yes you are right you do not need to justify if you're not on here for a while, ofc I miss you when you're gone but Tumblr can be so draining and yeah even if it wasn't and you sometimes simply don't feel like it that is more than okay <333

you know how much I (and others) appreciate your feedback on my fics but I never ever ever want you to feel like you have to comment thoroughly (or at all), fanfics are there to be enjoyed and not feel under pressure because you (feel like you) have to (or want to) write a long comment after you read it. I've only written a handful of detailed comments under a fic and honestly it's hard. It is hard. like first of all, sometimes I just loved a fic and I can't pinpoint what exactly I loved (or maybe I just loved everything) and I would just love to write an essay full of appreciation to the author but I just can't. if I could, I would write endless comments on every fic that I love but I 1000000000% understand you, sometimes you simply can't or maybe even don't want to and that's (more than) okay too and I would never be mad at you for not telling me how you enjoyed my fic, it's okay if you just enjoy it in silence because that's already more than I could have ever even dreamed of <3)

okay I'm already getting off track kinda I'm sorry ajhsdjk (is that even an expression? it's 1 amkjhasdg)

so please, you do not even have to apologise, your feelings are 100% valid and yes I absolutely understand why you weren't on here a lot, i'm not mad (or anything negative) whatsoever <33333333333333

and regarding your situation, I really really hope it gets better this year. you are such a lovely and kind soul, you deserve happiness and for things to go well, ilysm and I sincerely wish you all the best and nothing but positive energy in life <3

okay now imagine that puppy dog emoji x10000000 for the rest of your message. I could cry from your words alone pls I'm– (again, insert that emoji 209384756 times)

no I'm so sorry, I simply can't put into words how sweet your message is and how much it means to me. the fact that I've made such an impact on you simply by being myself and how I interact with people, honestly your message is one of the best things anyone has ever told me. no actually the best thing. I want to get this tattooed on my forehead, or maybe at least print it out and hang it up somewhere.

sparklessssssssssss you honestly can't just send such an amazing message like I could have never imagined that anyone would feel this way about me/my blog and this makes me want to continue being on Tumblr forever (not that I wanted to stop anyway but still)

like genuinely, I DREAM to be even a fraction of the human that you described me to be, the fact that you perceive me like that is so (I don't even have the words, again, so pls imagine a million heart emojis), you're gonna make me cocky because the way you just described how you perceive me is like a 10/10 human being I love her

it makes me sososososososossosososo happy that I could get you out of your comfort zone and make you realise (or at least start to realise) what an amazing human you are and that I make you want to embrace who you are more, again, best thing anyone has ever said to me <3

(I think the anon you're talking about is lovely anon btw? where you saw us interacting very openly and comfortably)

and what you said about my fics aaaahhh ik we've talked about that before but it was so nice to hear that you also perceive my fics to be exactly how I attempt them to be (... okay the 1am grammar is really showing now)

Sparkles, this will always always be a safe space for you (and anyone else) and I'm so so so happy that I was able to have a positive impact on you and lead you (even if just a teeny tiny step) further to you being the confident person you deserve to be, and (a teeny tiny step towards) letting people see who you truly are because you are such a beautiful soul and you deserve to embrace that <3 I'm so honoured to be a part of your journey and hope to stay a part of it for a long time :)

#sparkles #i’m sorry i took so long to reply i didn’t even forget i just? idk what happened smdhsk

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