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willowbleedsonpaper · 2 years ago

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Hello, lovely! I am here again thank you for your comments. They make my day a hundred percent better.

Weather reflecting mood 🤝 you and me.

It might be the most basic tool in writing but it never gets old and it always sets the scene. It's a must for me.

With all this Regulus angst, I found comfort in writing the marauders interacting with the reader. It was and still is my safe space while getting emotional writing done. I do hope you enjoy them in future episodes.

I am loving these interactions while reading alongside you this story. Thank you again, and sending you good vibes. ✨🖤

Winter In The Shade XVIII

Part XVIII

Sirius Black x Ravenclaw Reader

W.C. : 3379

Requested by @pogueslandia : It is Sirius’ fifth year at Hogwarts, the same year he ran away from home and to the Potter’s. Soon, he discovers the unfamiliar sight of his brother Regulus smiling and looking truly happy, next to him a Ravenclaw girl who immediately captures his interest. What will happen when the Black family gets involved in their sons lives and the ones they hold close to their hearts?

Warnings: A little angsty, mentions of blood purity.

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Clouds moved like the flowy fabric of the skirts of a thousand dancers in the sky, you could almost picture the routine they followed. One step to the right, placing one foot behind the other in two steps to raise their leg as high as their body allowed them to then twirl in their spot to end the scene. The trees were the instruments that played the music for the sky dancers, moving in sync with them until the sky turned grey completely.

Your elbow moved to the rest over your knee, placing your head on top of your fist with the slight tilt of your head. It was doomed to be a cloudy day, the rain threatening to start falling down over you sooner than you would like. It had been a rather beautiful day until you had come out of the castle, not giving it a second thought as to the reason why it had turned so gloomy. Since you were a child you had believed you had power over the weather, no doubt your own mood had reflected itself on the sky as soon as you left the walls of the castle behind.

With a low breath out, your hand reached for the book you carried inside your bag, getting it open on the place you had placed one of your pressed flowers. Parchment and ink followed soon after as you started reading, lazy writing of whatever ideas you thought important for your assignments. Paragraph after paragraph of information turned in one chapter of the book, placing your quill down to go over what you had written one last time before putting it away. You didn’t hear the low ruffle of grass behind you.

“I thought I’d found you here.”

You perked your head up from your notes, turning with a small smile. “A true detective.” you said, moving your things to make space next to you.

Sirius smiled, sitting with his legs stretched out “What can I say? I’m more than just a pretty face.” he said proudly, throwing his head back with a dramatic flip of his hair.

You snorted at that, taking one glance at his over the top confidence. You shook your head and pushed his shoulder with little force.

He chuckled lightly, opening his eyes and straightening his posture. He moved his legs to sit criss crossed, looking carefully over you. “What are you doing?” he asked, reaching his arm over you and taking your book in his hand “History of magic.” he read, a look of disgust on his face when he returned it to you. “Well, I can’t help with that one.”

You took the book back, putting it inside your bag as you stuck your tongue in his direction “I don’t need help.” you told him “Just doing some reading to make sure I have all the correct facts.”

He hummed, grabbing your hand and lifting it in the air. He took it closer to his face, playing with your fingers as you watched him, the ideas running across his eyes. “It’s almost time for dinner.” he said, his eyes finding yours. He suddenly got up to his feet, never letting go of your hand as he held it in his stance “And unless you want a late shower I’ll advise we get going.” he tugged your hand, helping you up as you both looked at the sky. It was getting windier, the feeling of a breeze hitting your face.

He guided you out of your hideout, throwing your bag over his shoulder as his other hand held onto yours.

Your eyes wandered over the familiar grey sky, looking for the sun you had been able to see when you got outside. “How long was I outside?” you asked him, turning slowly to him.

He glanced at you, eyes drifting to the front as he shrugged his shoulders “A couple of hours.” he said, voice carefree.

With a nod, you lowered your head. It felt like an eternity.

“Hey,” he called with a squeeze on your hand “You need help with herbology, right? Maybe we can ask Mary for help, she’s good.” he said, his eyes widening as he turned his face to you “Better yet, let’s ask Alice. She could give the class if they’d let her.”

You laughed under your breath, nothing but a flutter in your heart at Sirius’ attempts to keep your head busy and to cheer you up. The only genuine smiles that had appeared on your face the last couple of days had been drawn by none other than Sirius. He refused to let your head wander for too long, spending every chance he had with you. You were thankful for that, for him, but you still appreciated the silent moments where you could reflect on what had happened. How your life had turned in a matter of minutes, by the force of one single conversation where you suspected Regulus had been honest for the first time since you met him.

You still hoped for the moment you would wake up from this bad dream.

“Y/N.”

Wide eyes turned to the call of your name, Sirius looking down at you with a knowing smile.

“I was telling you that you could sit with us if you don’t want to be at your table.” he offered “It’s only at breakfast you have to be at your table, and only on weekdays. I’m just saying that you could be the cool girl who sits at the Gryffindor table.” he wiggled his eyebrows, letting you go first on the narrowed stairs that led to the castle.

“I’m already the cool girl, thank you.” you said, satisfaction written over your features “I don’t need you for being the cool girl.”

“Ouch.” he said out loud, following you just a couple of steps down from where you walked, “I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.” he said, swatting the words as if they were floating on the air, “ Just imagine how much cooler you’ll be.”

You turned to him with a questioning look, but said nothing about it. “Félix sits with me during meals.” you told him as he took his place at your side again “He doesn’t have lots of friends.” you whispered as if he could be near to hear you.

“Hm, just like Moony.” Sirius added, smiling tightly when you turned to him in confusion “Remus.” he corrected himself, “You could bring him too, he already is Remus’ shadow.”

You shook your head “Maybe another day.”

Sirius nodded, leaving the offer out for you to take as he suspected you had other reasons to refuse him. He knew better than to push you.

*******

Your eyes fluttered open with the faintest sound coming from the common room. You stared at the ceiling of your bed, the deep blue color almost hypnotizing as your eyes didn’t move from it for minutes. In the end you decided it was time to get out of bed, moving the covers from your body and sitting on your bed.

The rest of the beds from your roommates were already empty, no trace of them anywhere as your feet touched the cold floor. You dragged yourself to the bathroom and got ready for the day.

Face washed and robes on, you were on your way out. The stairs were empty and when you got to the couches and empty tables you realized it was probably late. You really didn’t care, the more you could avoid being in the same room as him the better. Walking out of the door, the empty space in your heart echoed louder than before when you stood on the empty stairs, waiting for someone you knew will no longer be there to wait for you in the mornings. You took a shaky breath in, looking around for anything that could bring you some kind of comfort. Nothing worked. So you bit the inside of your cheek and started to walk down the stairs, making slow work on getting to the Great Hall.

Félix was waiting for you with a smile on his face. He had saved you a space across from him, moving the pile of papers he carried with him for you to sit. He seemed cheerful, almost excited.

“I hope you didn’t have coffee.” you said with the raise of your eyebrow, voice raspy as it was the first time you spoke. Your voice felt foreign to yourself, making you doubt your next words, Félix taking the lead in the conversation quickly.

“Not much,” he rushed to say, placing his palms down on the table as he leaned in your direction “Guess what?” he asked, nodding his head eagerly.

You looked up in thought, grabbing an apple and throwing it inside your bag “Tell me.”

“You have to guess.” he said back.

You shook your head, letting air out through your mouth “Did you find those bowtruckles you were looking for?” you asked, he shook his head “Your project, you nailed it.”

“Nope.”

“Well tell me, I don’t read minds.” you said.

He easily gave in, not putting up much of a fight anymore “Sirius said we could sit with them during dinner.” he explained, your eyes widening as you glanced briefly over his shoulder and to the gryffindor table.

“Did he?” you asked, meeting his gaze across the room. His innocent smile as he watched Félix practically bouncing on his seat enough to tell he knew exactly what he did. “He told you that?” you asked Félix with a knowing smile.

“Well,” he thought before he answered “Remus told me, but Sirius said I should tell you too. You’re welcome, by the way.” he said smugly.

“For what?” you asked in a gasp.

“Now you get to sit with the boy you fancy during dinner and it’s all thanks to me.”

Your mouth was open in a perfect circle, staring with shock at the boy in front of you. If only he knew it was him who should be thanking you.

Sirius wasn’t the boy you fancied anymore. You weren’t certain what Sirius Black was to you and it brought down a wave of panic you hadn’t realized was hovering over your head. Nothing had changed, not really. But you couldn’t say you were just friends after he asked to kiss you and you didn’t even think twice about it before you pulled him to you. You hadn’t had the chance to even think about it.

“Yeah.” you mumbled “Thanks Félix.”

******

All day you had felt like the halls of Hogwarts were truly hunted. Eyes on your back every way you turned as low whispers followed your every breath and move.

You had been successful in avoiding Regulus for the day, sitting the farthest away from him and always in the company of one of the few people in the class you could call a friend. You got to class at the very last minute not to be late and were always the first one to leave the classroom. you were sure they must think you were paranoid, running from class to class with barely a word out, always keeping to yourself and not once stopping to wait for your best friend.

Rumors apparently fly at Hogwarts.

It was your last class, you had been able to finally relax as the rest of the day you could be anywhere else that he wasn’t. You felt your muscles let go of the tension as you focused on class.

Once the teacher dismissed you, you made your way through the longer path to the courtyard, the emptiest corridors where you could just let go. Or you thought.

A group of students wearing red was making their way opposite to you, their lively chatter going down as the one talking made eye contact with you. Her smile widened as she turned to her friends with a hushed tone, all eyes falling on you as they smiled.

You didn’t stay long to find out what they were talking about, hurrying your steps to get out of there. It didn’t make a difference once you got to the library. Every step you took meant another pair of eyes looking in your direction, a mix of disgust and pride in their glances as you ran your fingers over the spines of the books and fought the urge to snap at them. You did your best to ignore them.

Until you listened closely.

You had taken a seat at the table closest to the sunlight, a couple sitting just a few chairs to your left.

The boy followed the trail of her eyes and frowned. It was the first time he ever saw you. “What is it?” he asked.

“Hey, what about this as an introduction.” the boy said, turning his parchment to the girl. “Liz?” he called when she didn’t answer. You got curious, glancing in her direction, not expecting to meet her eyes as she snapped her gaze away from you. You shifted in your seat but said nothing.

She turned to him, leaning in “Didn’t you hear?” she asked him, cocking her head in your direction “Someone finally chose the better Black brother.”

Your body turned to stone, eyes blank as you stared at her before drifting back inside of your head. You didn’t stay there to hear what else they had to say, hurriedly grabbing your bag and fleeing the library.

You rushed through the halls without a care of where you were going, turning your body to avoid clashing against other people. It became overwhelming, every word, every whisper felt directed at you.

It didn’t take long for the outspoken to find you. “But if it isn’t the little ravenclaw that finally woke up.” he cheered, raising his arms in the air as if it was a reason for celebration.

You stop dead in your tracks, slowly turning to him. You felt the rush of blood through your veins, the panic you felt at first melting away with the boiling of your blood.

“You finally saw that slytherin boy for what he truly is. Sirius surely opened your eyes.” he said with a smirk, elbowing his friends in laughter.

“What did you say?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper. You moved slowly towards him, the hard feeling of your wand inside the pocket of your robe making the tip of your fingers tingle.

“C’mon.” he said, elongating the word “The snake finally revealed itself, didn’t he?”

Your hands closed into fists as you let go of your wand “That’s it.” you growled, marching towards them as your fist connected with the right side of his jaw.

Time seemed to slow down around you, his friend’s eyes widened in shock as he brought his hand to the side of his face, anger flashing on his eyes as he turned to face you. You were already moving on him again, your right fist in the air as a strong pull from your waist and a hand around your wrist started time again.

“Woah woah woah.” said the voice from your back, putting you down facing opposite to them as he turned again. “Easy little bird.” he said to you, as you spun on your place, angrily glaring up. You frowned in confusion as he held you and the other boy back.

“You’re friend there has moves, Potter.” he grunted, eyes grounded on you as you stared at James from your spot behind him.

“I know.” he admitted with a smile, not even in the middle of breaking up a fight could he take things seriously “What can I say? She’s a Gryffindor at heart.” he said, glancing at you warningly before he turned with ease at the rest of the boys “What- uh, what did you say to her, Gideon?” he asked, and you fought his hold that only eased a little.

Gideon ran his thumb over his lower lip, looking down at it and scoffing with humor behind it “Just congratulating her for finally seeing the younger Black was not it for her.”

James’ face fell for a second, glancing cautiously at you before he smiled tightly “Yeah.” he mumbled, finally letting go of you “She’s clever too. C’mon little bird, we got that thing waiting for us, huh?”

You only stared at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Potter.” said Gideon once James seemed ready to leave, “Look out for your friend, not everyone would be so willing to back up from a fight.”

James smirk returned to his face, raising his eyebrows “You let them know to leave her alone. She can fend for herself but Sirius and the rest of us won’t be so pleased if she shows up upset, you know? A dungbomb or two might get lost inside someone's bag.”

He raised his hands in defense “You said it.”

James turned in his spot, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he led you through the castle. He took turns and passageways you have never seen, the stairs once up and then down again before you gave up and just followed reluctantly. You didn't know how you ended up outside the castle just behind the greenhouse.

Your feet sunk a little on the tall grass, shoes leaving a trail of footprints as you realized someone had already walked this way before you.

“James?” you heard, lifting your head to find the brightest smile looking at him and down at you, the confusion clear in her eyes as her shine never faded “And Y/N.” she added, making your senses perk up as you had a hard time pin pointing her name.

“Hello Evans.” he greeted smugly, letting go of you as he swiftly placed a kiss on her cheek.

You just stood there, finally dawning on you. Red hair, bright green eyes and the kindest smile. Evans. Lily Evans.

“Are you alright?” she asked, taking a step towards you as she pointed to the grip you had on your hand, your knuckles starting to look a light shade of red.

“Little bird here was about to pick up a fight with Gideon.” James told her, leaning on the wall as he watched Lily take over.

“Gideon?” She laughed in surprise, and you nodded even if you didn’t know what they meant. “Remind me not to make you mad.” she told you, grabbing her bag from the ground as she handed you a small container “It’s pomade, for your hand.”

“Thank you.” you told her, sitting on the small bench there as they talked to each other. You already felt awkward being there, you didn’t need to intrude in what you assumed was their time alone.

You were more shocked when he talked to you again “You shouldn’t go around picking fights like that.”

You smiled humorlessly “You’re one to tell.” you said, making Lily snort on his side as he mockingly smiled back.

“He’s a fifth year, you’re a third year. He’s double your size, not very smart from you.” he pointed out “And why throw fists?” he asked confused, “I saw your wand, you had a better chance that way.”

“She has been around Sirius for too long.” Lily said with a smile.

“The punishment is worse for attacking a student with magic than punching them in the face.” you said, and James turned to Lily as if to check, her green eyes wide.

“Merlin, she is right.” she mumbled to James, and he nodded satisfactorily.

“Noted.” he said, looking back at you “Still, you shouldn’t be starting fights, much less because of him.”

Your eyes immediately turned to him, suddenly feeling exposed. You pressed your lips in a line, keeping in the sigh that in the end escaped you “I know.”

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you but people can get the wrong idea.” he said, the words that Malfoy had said to you that night brought back to the surface of your head. He was right, though. Fighting Gryffindors because they insult Regulus can give the wrong idea now that Hogwarts knew who he was spending his time with. And yet you didn’t care, you had it in you to defend Regulus even if it brought you down.

You rubbed your eyes, a groan leaving your lips as you hugged your legs “He’s my best friend.” you mumbled against your knees, pressing your eyes closed “Used to be.” you corrected, hiding your face in between your knees.

“You did what was right.” Lily said suddenly, a seriousness to his voice that overtook his kindness “You’re defending your own beliefs, yourself. There’s nothing more important.”

You and James looked at her, two different looks conveying the same feeling. Trust.

*******

You left them be with the promise to see them at dinner. Lily’s words brought a little rest to your soul. Even if you would do anything for Regulus and you cared for him like no one you had ever known, distance was a necessity. You couldn’t put the blame on you.

“Look who’s finally here.” James cheered as he saw you approach. You gave him a smile, waving at everyone until you reached an empty space.

“I have been looking for you everywhere.” you told Féli with a smile.

He just shrugged “You said see you at dinner.”

You rolled your eyes, ruffling his hair as he shook his head. Then you turned to Sirius who had a smile on his face.

“Not so bad, is it?” he said, taking a sip of his glass, looking at you through the brim of it.

“I’m just glad you’re here.” you mumbled, his face turning at the sound of your voice. He placed his glass down, looking around before he asked “Bad day?”

“Awful existence.” you groaned, letting your head fall softly on the table.

He finally chuckled, “Look who’s joking.”

You lifted your head, a barely there smile on your face as you started to fill your plate with dinner. Even surrounded by friends, with Sirius there and trying to just relax for the time being, you could feel the back whispers and the lingering eyes that dropped to you the moment someone passed by. It wasn’t helping the known pang of guilt you felt every time you found Sirius eased your pain, the throb of your heart stopped for a moment when he brushed his hand against your or he winked in your direction.

You allowed yourself to look past the students and to the usual spot of the Slytherin table where you knew you could find him, only for your stomach to drop. He wasn’t there.