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marsandchariot · 4 years ago

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Saturn transiting Aquarius in the 12 Houses

Even if you have no natal planets in the sign of Aquarius, the sign still has a place in your chart, and its themes are activated by planets transiting whichever house it occupies. I have no planets in my 5th house, where Aquarius is. In my 4th, I have Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune in Capricorn. For a while I looked ahead to the transition of Saturn into Aquarius—from earth to air—as bringing a potential for lightness, or even levity. I think this view reflected a kind of denial of what Saturn is, what Aquarius is, and what air is.

Over the summer I received a reading—my first ever—from Alice. This was a significantly emotional experience for me, and I am speaking as someone who has Mars in Cancer. I cried a lot, and most of the emotions that surfaced were in response to 4th house topics like family, ancestry, childhood, and belonging. I asked Alice what it could mean for Saturn to next transit my empty 5th house and they said it could describe the act of taking creation seriously.

This part of the reading was almost a postscript to the heart of what we discussed over the course of our time together. Though “taking creation seriously” may seem like a fairly straightforward translation of Saturn (limits, constraint) in the 5th house (fecundity, reproduction, art, pleasure topics), the idea has continued to resound in my mind months later as a powerful and enigmatic imperative. So last night I went outside to see the conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter, which to me looked like a bright lovely dot, and I decided I wanted to think about this notion of taking creation seriously for whichever house is receiving Saturn right now. I love the idea of people being able to take themselves seriously as creators, to have conviction in the time they spend making something, in whatever medium to which they feel drawn. I hate the idea of people giving up on their capacity to create because they don’t see “the point.” I want everyone to see the point in their individual practices, and to have the luxury of belief in the value of what and how and when they practice, even if they’re working in total privacy or obscurity.

As another guiding range of archetypes I consulted the Materia Prima tarot deck from Uusi, which I am a bit intimidated and totally fascinated by. I read the houses using a modified variation of the Churchyard spread, since it involves one card to represent the querent plus 12 more cards. So you have an idea of the aesthetic, here are three of the 12 cards I drew.

Find where Aquarius is in your chart. Again, even if you have Aquarius in an empty house, that house is now hosting some very important guests. The joy of the empty house, in my opinion, is the way new occupants allow you to examine what’s being incited in an area of your life in which you were previously less interested, or you weren’t very aware of. This spark of interest or awareness is how I am interpreting at least the beginning phase of seriousness, setting the scene for development of this theme over the course of the next three years.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 1ST HOUSE

A synonym for this transit might be someone willingly or unwillingly “bearing the brunt” of something, or the feeling that one’s priorities must be deferred because the burden of responsibility to others is too great. This querent thinks it is normal for them to do all the heavy lifting without help, because if they don’t, who else will? It may be that this querent is explicitly depended upon, but they may not see the ways in which they constantly carry these burdens results from a lack of boundaries, of thinking they cannot assert their interests or position at all, and they must drop their lives in order to fulfill responsibilities to their community, no matter how abstract or distant that community may be. They think that when everyone is taken care of, they will finally focus on themselves. They allow the needs of others to set their own boundaries, and so the boundary is never set. Rising air signs, please understand your limitations. Please respect your own boundaries and personal priorities at least half as much as you work to attune yourself to and respond to the signals of others. Set aside some time to let the world go on without you. I think you will be surprised at the space you are able to create for yourself, and the way you are finally able to get your own things done. Alternatively, if the bearing of burdens feels against your will, you may be made to feel like the scapegoat in one or more of your communities, and so the erosion of your time and energy arises from your effort to free yourself from this position or to dispel the collective belief in your deserving of this position. It may be possible to change collective opinion with time, but it is not your responsibility to do so, and the effort it takes will not serve your own energetic health.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 2ND HOUSE

Thanks to the pandemic we’ve all got new stuff for all the new things we’re doing. Interests require tools and subscriptions and memberships and Zoom classes. Investing in new materials, especially when they are technically “productive” materials, helps us justify the way we use our time to spend money. Eventually you will have to use your possessions, though, in order to justify the acquisition of them, or else they are just an idea of creation, an aspiration or intention to create. I drew the Arsenic card for this transit; you can see its relationship to The Magician and its connection to equating material mastery with experience and execution. It’s a reminder that we cannot make the idea of creation into an idol; we can’t manifest our intentions through possession of material as a substitute for the activation of ideas. At a certain point you need to look at what you have, and use what you’ve got, or else your material intentions of creation will serve to isolate you from the generative power of your own creative process.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 3RD HOUSE

Carve out time to work on your creation. Period. It doesn’t have to be every day, but by developing even the consistency of once a week or month you demonstrate a dedication to your own ability to produce something that cannot exist without your attention. Anyone practicing without professional recognition knows how difficult this faith is to maintain. I have been watching a lot of writer interviews recently. One constant piece of advice they give is to be consistently present for the work—make the space of routine, don’t wait for other peoples’ recognition or respect to justify making time for your creative process. It can feel especially hard to tell people what you’re up to when they aren’t used to taking non-professional practices seriously. But, you know what, fuck them. Your time belongs to you, and the things you want to do, even if you’re not a seasoned professional expert at that thing, are important. Don’t let fears of other peoples’ skepticism run your private life. Advocate for the consistency of your practice. If people can manage to go to church every Sunday, you can manage to write or paint or build or do whatever at least once a week.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 4TH HOUSE

A lot has happened to you. A lot has happened to everyone, of course, but you may be sitting on or hoarding those experiences, waiting for the “right” way to use them. But now is the time to activate the impressions or residue of what you’ve experienced so you can understand what those experiences are teaching you. You’ve got to start piecing it together, like clues, to make a cogent shape, because there isn’t going to be an a-ha moment that shows you what it all means. You might want to process with the people closest to you, people who know you really well, about the ideas you’re working through. They may have an insight that brings the pieces of the past together in a way that helps you see the larger picture. You may worry that you take in more than you’re able to reflect, which can feel as if you’re stuck in a more passive or accumulating phase. You may worry that by acting “too soon” you run the risk of using up the resource of the past. But the past has more than a single purpose; it continuously replenishes. Begin using it now. You will always have more later.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 5TH HOUSE

It can be hard to get going when you’re simultaneously trying to predict and interpret the meaning of your creation, then producing into those expectations, then getting stuck when it doesn’t seem like you’re fulfilling those expectations you’ve set for yourself. If you fall short of the expectations of your own practice, you may see yourself as failing; as not being serious enough, or not knowing enough. You may retreat from your practice in order to prepare, re-group, plan. Something that can be difficult is the need to assert the purpose and meaning of your creation in order to justify your work on it. People rarely feel comfortable saying, “I’m working on something, but I don’t know what it’s about,” or “I’m working on something, but I don’t know what it is.” The need to envision the finished product (and to be able to claim that what we’ve made is valuable and worthwhile) presents a serious hindrance to one’s artistic practice. How can you do your thing if you’re constantly worrying whether the thing you do is living up to your expectations? Think about kids whose parents constantly projected their own values onto their child, who made their child feel as if they couldn’t deviate from these expectations. Don’t be that parent! Raise a happy child with lots of options. Don’t crush your creation under the weight of your own expectations, which are often just internalized anxieties of not being good enough in the eyes of a nightmare amalgam of different authority figures. Treat your creation like a child whose psyche you’re not trying to pulverize through micromanagement. Ask where it wants to go, what it wants to be, and allow these impulses to run their course, trusting that for your creation, even what you don’t understand has a role to play in your process.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 6TH HOUSE

If you are feeling uninspired, or unsure of where to “begin,” this is an excellent time to cultivate a divinatory system or some other system that you use as a visionary tool. Any system to which you gravitate, and which you learn to use in a dynamic way that serves your purpose beyond rote memorization, that answers your questions and creates proposals for your work will, in some way, serve your creative process. I often imagine the 6th house as a grid. To place a grid onto any single surface transforms that surface into many parts. The division of something into parts allows us to deconstruct and rearrange what previously appeared to be a single coherent material. I don’t want to say that your selection of a system is arbitrary, but any consistent method by which you can take stock of the familiar in a way to defamiliarize it will show a way forward in terms of rethinking what’s available to you. Take things apart. Put them back together differently. Isolate elements of the familiar in order to make them strange. You have ideas, you have passions, you have interests. As soon as you take the care in grouping them, tracking them, mapping them, you are seeing more lucidly the unconscious connections you have been making all along.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 7TH HOUSE

Saturn transiting the 7th may speak to a seriousness on the level of commitment or partnership. It could also mean cultivating a kind of faithfulness to a project. If you are working on multiple things, maybe commit to a precious few, so you are better able to devote your attention to these before moving on to another smaller group or single creation. Partnership requires a mindfulness to the other in which we simultaneously do not lose ourselves. Says Carl Jung, “Emotional relationships are relationships of desire, tainted by coercion and constraint; something is expected from the other person, and that makes him and ourselves unfree.” It is important that in our commitment to something or someone, we do not give up our freedom; focus and attention are not the same as imprisonment. For this placement, I pulled the Iron card, whose equivalent is Mars. During WWI, the phrase “I gave gold for iron” articulated the incentive to donate jewelry to the war effort. With gold as the alchemical equivalent of the Sun, the ego, the sacrifice can translate to mean giving up one’s self in service of one’s expression. The creation is not the self, but it draws from the self in order to come to life. It could be that this transit asks for more to be given to creation, or that firmer boundaries are drawn between the self and creation, to better prepare the creation to become a discrete and substantive entity in its own right.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 8TH HOUSE

Invite contact, invite collaboration. There is the pressure to protect one’s creation from interference in a way that may harmfully shelter it. I don’t think I need to re-hash Colin Craven and the whole point of The Secret Garden, but it is possible to be too precious about your process and your creation, shielding it from the potential of growth. It can withstand more than you think; it is more distinctive than you think; it is more valuable and admirable than you give it credit for. It is possible to shelter your creation so intensely that you even stop working on it, because it’s never the right time, or you haven’t got the perfect idea, or you’re not in the right mood, or you’re not well-versed enough in what you’re trying to do or say. You need to persist for the sake of making your intention manifest, without fear of judgment. You need to bring your creation to light without worrying about its vulnerability to alteration and death. This preciousness may also speak to a kind of purity, where you feel stuck but are loathe to move forward by introducing unexpected elements to your process, out of fear of changing your creation on the core-level. I doubt this kind of “damage” will happen, even if you introduce elements that feel opposite of your original intention. The strongest reactions occur between things that are not like one another. Furthermore, fusions or combinations between unlike elements don’t occur from hesitant proximity; they occur through repeated direct, intentional engagement. Don’t be afraid to bombard your process with the outside world, with new ideas and techniques. It can handle it, and so can you.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 9TH HOUSE

Stop looking for an institutional position that reflects everything you offer, and instead find ways to satisfy a fuller spectrum of those offerings in ways both within and without the institution. What you offer as a “full package” is important but often professionally or commercially invisible. This can be an especially difficult way to make a living, and you may have to select a position you don’t feel encompasses your entire range of abilities in order to practice those abilities in a way that is compensable. If the institution doesn’t recognize your full capacity, don’t push. Stop giving everything away to prove you are capable of giving. It doesn’t have to be about money, but you need to develop a personal system of limits or regulations so that you yourself can keep track of the value of what you expend. Just because it comes naturally to you doesn’t mean you should give it away for free.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 10TH HOUSE

What you’re looking to create may not be a material form at all, but a role you play in the world. It may be a role that is yet undefined, but something you are looking to articulate in simultaneously meaningful and ephemeral gestures. It’s less about a permanent professional station and more of a mutable approach to a unique offering or service. It will take time. Document your process, even if it doesn’t reflect the outcome. You will see traces of the outcome even in areas of the process that don’t “feel significant.” Your work is one of accumulated intentions, diversions, fleeting pieces. Self-illumination is not a single beacon but many spectral lines of emission and absorption. It shows nothing but the portion of the path that’s visible. Air signs linger in distances, in liminal or invisible connections. To play a role in this area may require a mobile or roaming form. You don’t need to produce a final act; show the ways in which any occurrence can continue forward; in which a thing that happens is always happening.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 11TH HOUSE

How do you want to share with people? Where are the people you want to talk to? How do you want to make space for them to respond? Building community and systems of shared values is an elusive process, subject to trends of culture, language, and technology. It’s important to see beyond strategies of loud and dominant message projection (marketing) in order to value the content you wish to share. Fears of being unheard have the effect of changing what it is we actually say, imparting instead a message that is shared only for sharing’s sake, not because the messenger any longer has conviction in the import of what is said. It is important to maintain the integrity of your creation so that it reflects something that would serve you, if you were in need of it. Don’t treat your creation as if it’s bait designed to lure the most amount of people (or capital). Make available your process of creation—what are the qualities that you resist and embrace in yourself, and how has this process led you toward the creation of something which you truly believe, not just something you believe will “sell”? Often, the most valuable materials are both rare and common. It is a mistake to strive for just one or the other in order to appear uncomplicated. To be comprised of a single element is to become a brand. Brands are clean but they have no souls. If signs of your struggle and honest experience are missing from your creation, then you are only showing half the picture, and there is more to be done.

SATURN TRANSITING AQUARIUS IN THE 12TH HOUSE

If you feel you don’t have the energy to work on your creation, it’s because you don’t. If you feel like there isn’t time, it’s because there isn’t. Sometimes we can’t just add our creation to the list of other tasks we’re doing that day, between walking the dog and picking up groceries and filing our taxes. That just may not be where the creative state is able to situate itself in our lives. If when you think about working on your creation, you feel the same dread as when working on projects you’re compelled to do for professional or academic purposes—if something feels more toiling than generative—it’s a sign to try a different approach. This may require a recalibration of intention. Intention does not have some inherent buoyancy that allows it to surface with explicit clarity into our conscious awareness. You may have to enter a state of sublimation in order to find its articulation. By entering unconscious or semi-conscious states, we can better observe our conscious actions in order to envision a way forward. There are many people who experience the majority of their process in this state of sublimation, only to transition to the material aspect of their process in a burst at the “end.” Make space in your awareness for your emotional experience of your creative process. Don’t attempt to make your labor visible in a way that “looks” like work. Compulsive labor is not the sole determinant of progress. Discomfort is not the sole determinant of labor. Find the executable intention in yourself and cultivate instead a willingness to meet it, being open to all the ways available to you to do this.

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seraphicwiing · 5 years ago

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au (I have one AU which can be read here!) / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (He’s a damn HERO!)

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (ALL OF THE ABOVE >:D)

How strictly do you follow canon?

For me it’s a little weird since I originally intended this blog to be just about Sephiroth from Crisis Core to FF7 and Remake. But as I grew around the blog and began writing with more people, I felt the need to just fill in all of the blank canvas that was Sephiroth’s past. So I guess you could say I do follow canon to a certain extent? But 55% of my stuff is not considered canon and are just things I’ve added to add a little spice to my son! But yeah, canon wise I follow Remake as my main verse which considering the theories may just be the same Sephiroth we’ve known for the last 20 years.

(Placing under a cut from here on out, I don’t want to make your dash messy)

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

Okay, I don’t know how long this is gonna be but I hope I can get through all of the topics I wanna talk about without looking like I’m waffling. Firstly, a lot of people seem to forget that Sephiroth wasn’t just a monster, Messiah Complex psycho. Before his downfall, he is shown to be a kind hearted and gentle warrior, he had a heart and had support from his friends throughout the entirety of his military career. He was genuinely happy.

If you’ve seen the clips of him in Crisis Core, I want you to pay close attention to Sephiroth’s facial expressions before Nibelheim. He has a natural smile, he’s calmer and more relaxed, his face is clean and no bags at all underneath his eyes and his hair is more well kept and tidy compared to his more deranged and haggard look in Remake. He tells Zack to take care and genuinely treats him as if he’s known him for years once they get close. Sephiroth clings onto his allies as if they were his own family.

There are so many factors to consider when it comes to Sephiroth’s eventual descent into madness, it wasn’t just the books and reports underneath ShinRa Manor that drove him insane. While it played the biggest major factor in it all, other events still have to be considered.

Genesis who became an actual IDIOT of a person tells Sephiroth that he was a monster. A man that he saw as his older brother, a close friend and comrade swooping in with the intention of using Sephiroth just to heal his degrading body asks for his help but not before legitimately TEARING into Sephiroth’s birth. It was insulting and incredibly disrespectful seeming as at that point Seph had already seen the failed experiements and JENOVA’s chamber. It all came in a huge wave all at once, and the ShinRa Manor discovery only served to be the final nail in the coffin. His entire life, a mere lie.

When he goes insane, he’s ruthless. He’s scathing. What remains of the old Sephiroth can only be seen from his brute strength and his skills with a blade. He will end you if you even so thought about trying to stop or question his ideals but not before toying with you mentally. He will break you, one way or another and he won’t stop until you are either.

It is honestly one of the most heartbreaking things watching a good man who appeared to be fine physically, but mentally was so incredibly fragile. Deep down, he always felt detached from people even with the friends that he made. He tried so hard, but his mind was weaker than his body. He was consumed by Rage and an eldritch monstrosity whispering things in his ear.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

Maybe the tragic villain is something that’s played out too often? It’s definitely a trope that’s used quite a lot in media and Final Fantasy is no stranger in using it a lot in most of the main line games. Maybe people wanted more from Sephiroth that he just didn’t have character wise.

I don’t know, I just feel as if some people might not like his motivations. I put it down as his mental state being so damaged from all the wars, the loss of his friends, and the cold hearted reality of his origins drove him insane but surely his rage could’ve been diverted to the true culprits which was just ShinRa? For someone so strong why did he succumb so easily? Did Nibelheim really have to be burnt down? Could he have been sensible about it? Probably. But his mental psyche was utterly destroyed.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

My inspiration to play this muse honestly stems from my love for roleplaying villains. Sephiroth in this case was quite a unique specimen because of how many paths you could take your portrayal in. This character is easily one of the most complex I’ve written mainly because he’s two characters in one and both Sephiroth’s before and after Nibelheim are completely different. I honestly love the contrast. Like I’ve always wanted to muse him, but anxiety and worry that I wouldn’t be good at portraying him really took a dampener on my wish. Until now.

I love Sephiroth so much, everything about him just gels well with me. I get to write a hero and a villain. A kind hearted man and a psychopath. I get the best of both worlds. He’s such a flawed and tragic character and I just love exploring his psyche.

What keeps your inspiration going?

I have a playlist dedicated to Sephiroth that I smetimes listen too when I’m writing, I always try to rewatch particular scenes from specific games that he’s involved in to get into the muse. For example, pre Nibelheim I watch the Genesis vs Sephiroth vs Angeal fight and post Nibelheim I watch scenes from Remake. I also like to look up art and musings for Sephiroth, it definitely keeps the muse chuggin’!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO. (According to my mutuals and friends ;u;)

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. (Sometimes I doubt myself, it honestly depends. These feelings can be pretty sporadic)

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. (Same reason as above)

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

I always accept criticism if it’s constructive, I will always ask for it when needed because I really do want to improve and make sure that my portrayal is as perfect as possible, but if you come to me spouting hate about the way I portay the character please don’t. Respect my portrayal, critique where applicable.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

100% yes. Send development questions at me, I love them.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

You are entitled to your opinion. I don’t care if you disagree with my headcanons, I don’t care if you disagree with my ships. I am here to have fun, and my intentions are for you to have fun with me. But if said person disagrees, why bother following me or reading my stuff? The door is open for you to leave, you can find another Sephiroth that appeases you.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

A similar answer to the one above. My portrayal is my own, and I am proud of what I have achieved so far and the interactions I’ve had, and the ships that I have planned out on here. I love it so much and if they disagree with that, then they can unfollow me. Hell, if they want too, block me. They’re entitled to their opinion as long as they don’t flaunt it around. Just don’t be a dick about it tbh?

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it

More power to them, hate Sephiroth all you want I won’t indulge these petty arguments about how Kefka was a better villain. I’m just gonna slurp on the salty tears and relax while writing about my favourite heartless boy.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

I am always okay. I have a habit of never proof reading my stuff before I send it so my grammar is all wnky and over the place. I always want to improve as a writer and continue to grow as one, we can do this together should you wish <3

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I like to think I’m very easy going, I’m quite a shitlord when talking OOC. If you don’t mind me thirsting over my muse than we’ll get along just fine. I’m perfectly open for chats and whatnot, I’m a good listener. Sometimes I do end up being pretty clingy though, soooo... Let me give you hugs all the time.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

#;— WITHIN THE LIFESTREAM (ooc)#(im tired now after this)#(i rewrote this multiple times to make sure it looked good but idk)#(i feel like i've poorly conveyed myself in this hahaha!)

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sherryfundin · 5 years ago

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Looking For Some Serial Killers? Check out Carolyn Arnold @Carolyn_Arnold @GoddessFish

BRANDON FISHER FBI SERIES by Carolyn Arnold

GENRE: Police Procedural/Mystery

Meet today’s guest, Carolyn Arnold.

She is an international bestselling and award-winning author, as well as a speaker, teacher, and inspirational mentor. She has four continuing fiction series and has written nearly thirty books. Both her female detective and FBI profiler series have been praised by those in law enforcement as being accurate and entertaining, leading her to adopt the trademark, POLICE PROCEDURALS RESPECTED BY LAW ENFORCEMENT™.

Today, she answers a few questions for us and gives us insight into her life and journey as a mystery author.

Have you ever been on a manhunt or at the scene where a dead body was found?

I took part in my local police department’s Citizen’s Academy. As part of this, I received an inside look at seventeen divisions over a ten-week period. As an added benefit, each student was afforded a ride-along. And mine… Well, I went on the perfect one for a crime writer.

My ride-along actually started out with a manhunt. I experienced the excitement of wanting to find the guy and found myself scrutinizing every male I spotted in the area just to make sure he wasn’t the one we were after. Unfortunately, the search moved to the downtown area from the eastern end of the city where the hunt had begun, and the sergeant signed off the investigation. By the end of my ride-along, about five hours later, the man still hadn’t been found.

After the sergeant left the investigation, he turned to me as he was driving and asked if I had ever seen a dead body. I told him I had at memorials and funerals and then asked why. I soon found out that our next stop involved one.

I figured I’d catch a glimpse of the deceased under a tarp or being wheeled away, but I got far more than that. I received a front-row seat to a death investigation. For hours, the sergeant and I were mere feet away from the body. I witnessed firsthand how it changed color over time, but I also found that I went into detective-mode. The forensic identification unit—essentially CSIs—was called in and arrived with collection kits. The team members gloved up, snapped photographs, took fingerprints from the deceased, and more.

The entire time that I was on scene, I noticed myself going into a detached state—the result of adrenaline. Later that evening, it began to sink in that I had spent hours with a dead body, and I was nauseated. As more time passed, I became weepy as it sank in that the deceased had been a husband, a father, a lover, a friend…a person. That night I dreamed about the man. It wasn’t a nightmare, but I was an officer trying to figure out what had happened to him.

I couldn’t imagine returning to the field the next day and having a similar experience or witnessing something even worse, like a violent murder scene or that of a fatal car accident.

What do members of law enforcement say about your books?

Many testimonials attest that I am pleasing readers in law enforcement. They love that my mysteries are accurate in that regard, and they view that alone as a sign of my respect for them.

Here are a few testimonials that I have received on Eleven (Brandon Fisher FBI series):

“I spent thirty-eight years with a major police department in Missouri, fifteen of which were in the homicide section. I also had numerous dealings with the FBI throughout my career, mostly bank robbery, interstate shipment thefts, and a few kidnappings. Eleven kept my interest piqued throughout… Loved it.”

–Richard Bartram, Sergeant (retired), St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department, St. Louis, MO

“I am a forty-year veteran of police work. All local, no Fed. Eleven was a great read. All the descriptors and nomenclature were spot on.”

–Joe Danna, Police Officer, Katy Independent School District Police Department, Katy, TX

“Very good! I worked as a police officer for eleven years and with the Federal Bureau of Prisons for twenty-two. I have also dealt with the FBI.”

–Richard Smith, Facilities Development Manager (retired), Federal Bureau of Prisons, Central Office, Washington, DC

“A great police procedural! … Full of twists and turns. The characters are well-developed and a mix of interesting personalities. … Holds your interest to the end!”

–Mark Davis, FBI Special Agent (retired), Washington, DC

What did you do before you became a bestselling author?

For a living, I worked in accounts receivable for a few different companies collecting from businesses. Yet, despite working full time, in 2006 I was reunited with writing. I wrote every chance I got—before work, on lunch breaks, after work, on the weekends. I became so focused on writing and the publishing world that hardly a day went by without them being a part of my life, and since the summer of 2014, I’ve been a full-time author.

How do you know so much about what criminals think?

I can’t answer that without incriminating myself… Just kidding.

Everyone has what we call a “dark side.” In writing these books, I suppose you could say I tap into this side of my psyche. Whatever I can scheme up is possible, and I write that which scares and excites me.

When did you know that you had hit the big time with your books?

When I got to say good-bye to my day job! Even before I fully resigned, I had cut back a five-day a week job to four days, then to three. It got to the point, though, that I loathed going in for that many days, and I knew it was time to make the move and become a full-time author. That was in the summer of 2014. Since then, I incorporated my own publishing company in the summer of 2015, and, at the start of 2016, my husband joined me there full time.

MY REVIEW FOR SILENT GRAVES

We have all different sides to our personalities, both good and bad. What happens when the bad takes control? We will be finding out here.

Women are missing…and one of the women is rising from the dead, from their grave, where her murderer had thought she would remain hidden..so says the villain, who is missing one.

Brandon and the rest of the gang are called in to help. Brandon is still trying to fit in, but he walks a fine line with Paige. You always have, at least, one know it all want to be ther hero cop. And Stenson was it. He’s a Dumfree’s police officer but he wants to be so much more.

There are more killers than they thought and many more bodies that will be exposed.

Brandon and Paige…well, we will see what happens…Can they move on from each other? Can they work together, whether or not they stay romantically involved?

We have plenty of suspense and need Carolyn Arnold to take us through the investigation, questioning here and there, each person having their part to do, while dealing with every day life, tiredness and egos. She is a pro at keeping the mystery alive and making me follow along to learn she wraps up the case.

I voluntarily reviewed a free copy of Silent Graves by Carolyn Arnold.

4 Stars

ENTER THE GIVEAWAY AND READ THE REVIEW & INTERVIEW HERE

MY REVIEWS FOR CAROLYN ARNOLD

Remnants

In The Line Of Duty

Halloween Is Murder

Power Struggle

City of Gold

The Secret of the Last Pharaoh

Eleven

On The Count of Three

Shades of Justice

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#carolyn arnold #series #mystery #suspense and thriller fiction #read in 2019 #4 star review

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mantra4ia · 7 years ago

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Lucifer Season 2 Round-out

Last April, a list began that would soon pervade into every moment of my life: “Lucifer Season 2 and Beyond - Wants and Desires”. It went through various iterations…

Original Post (pre-season) / Updated post (during season 2)

Before I go into my “Season 3” post (and questions!) I wanted to make a quick capsule of my top fulfilled desires of season 2. Please let me know what yours were, or if you have questions and desires yet to be addressed.

Desires Fulfilled / Questions Answered

✔ Does Lucifer have any other brothers/siblings we should know of? While I was disappointed that Uriel had such a brief appearance, it was still very cool and developed the arc of the season a TON! Also, there’s that mention of… ✔ Lucifer should have a sister…(2x05) AZRAEL! The Angel of Death is a she, and I have many questions and speculations about her role, power, manifestation, etc ✔ Who is Lucifer’s mother? Angel, Demon, something else? You know, for a majority of the season I didn’t know whether I liked or hated the Divine Goddess mum as Charlotte Richards. She was a fun character, but very on the fence as to what she wanted and how badly at any given moment. Mostly what bothered me is her lack of seriousness, gravitas. I wanted to see the “Goddess” side of her all season. She was jailed for centuries not just for being powerful, but also vengeful, chaotic, bordering on malicious. And then I got all that in the very last episode, 2x18 “God, Bad, Crispy” and I loved it. All that resentment, brokenness, and desperation, coupled with destructive force so that I could take her seriously. And no sooner did I love her as a balanced character of humor and strength, she (as we know her) was gone! Wot?! ✔ We’ve seen Lucifer’s lifestyle, how is Amenadiel liking his time on earth? Not at all - his poor wings! But I’m really quite glad he’s found solace in, of all places, the improv club. ✔ Who are Chloe’s friends outside the force, will we meet some? Thank Dad for Maze, Linda, and Ella, and girls night #tribe. ✔ Lucifer, Trixie, and Maze on a school’s day out field trip. Trixie and Maze trick-or-treating was 100% wonderful, and as a brilliant bookend so was Lucifer taking Trix to school and them having their own little “deceiving your parents” club. ✔ Girls’ night - Mazikeen, Chloe, Linda. And not only that but a bar fight, which is also what I wanted to see more of (the females kicking butt, which I got from all the core ensemble save Trixie, who instead kicked butt with her words, as Maze said). It’s like the writers have Lucifer powers of desire deduction… ✔ More delving into the themes of what it means to be vulnerable, when it’s good and not, and recovering from betrayal from all the characters’ perspectives. Well, divorce and single parenting are pretty dang vulnerable for Chloe I’d say….and you know drudging up the past and confronting her dad’s murder. And Dan and Lucifer at the comedy club, the openness there gave me new hope for their continued BroTP. Lucifer with Azrael’s blade while Amenadiel watched as his little bro was in pain DESTROYED ME. And even Trixie was vulnerable at that Starford private school, which was super insightful for Trixstar. And Maze and Lucifer throwing down and going to group therapy with Linda. The writers really knocked vulnerability, recovery, and moving forward out of the park. ✔ Is Mazikeen going to make more progress in the friends’ department? First word: Roomies. Second word: wifey. I really, deeply enjoyed Maze bonding with Chloe and Linda (ride or die) this season, and her growing attachment to humans. ✔ Now that Lucifer doesn’t have his Pentecostal coin to play with, does he get a new toy? I never thought seeing Lucifer with a cell phone would be that satisfying. ✔ We see Lucifer always wearing a ring and Amenadiel always wearing a necklace. Will they come into play? Of course! Although, please props department up your game. I hated that Sumerian text. It looked like a three ring binder spray painted bronze. ✔ What stunts/ fight choreography are you guys thinking about for s2? Maze with a pool cue, a good amount of headbutting, slo-mo riots in a psychiatric ward, jumping off of a pier, some great driving sequences, a sniper/hostage situation, violence with a yoga mat, throw-down in a church (Father Frank’s church?), broken pianos. I can’t wait for more! ✔ Tom Ellis at the piano.“All Along the Watchtower” pleases me to no end. ✔ Scenery changes? I love the addition on the performance club and Chloe’s new apartment. ✔ New potentially recurring characters? Heavens bless Ella in all her awkward moment, ice-breaking quirkiness. ✔ Can Chloe effect other celestials adversely, or just Lucifer? Apparently yes she can. She disrupted Uriel’s pattern of destruction (2x05) I think, I could be wrong, but it came across that way… ✔ Seeing Lucifer with wings. YES! Bring on the eleventh hour cliffhanger. ✔ Lucifer’s fall? Maybe we saw a glimpse of it��depending on the context of the 2x18 cliffhanger

Things we got that we didn’t even know we wanted. SO GOOD:

Dan and Chloe are getting a divorce and in so doing becoming an even better team on the force and in life. They can razz each other more at work and be treated as equals, and she can joke with Dan “if you married Charlotte, that would make you Lucifer’s stepdad.”

Amenadiel wallowing about the loss of his wings, and the new BroTP Dandielion (Dan and Amenadiel at the comedy club)

“Cosmos are yummy” and “I like [the shape of] your head” one liners. You deserve all the praise Amenadude.

Ella’s tiny hands comment.”I’ve seen some pretty tiny manhands.” Cheeky.

Ella speaking French.

Lucifer and Maze with a taser. Superb new toy.

Lucifer being mortally embarrassed seeing his mom naked (how does it feel to be on the receiving side of nude awkwardness buddy), her interrupting his foreplay, and him having to drag her off his club stage because of her dancing. He’s essentially a teenager with her around.

Trixie’s defaced doll, and Lucifer’s sinnamon roll behavior getting her a new one.

Trixie holding Lucifer’s hand hostage as he takes her to school and bargains with her to drive the Corvette.

Chloe nearly beating someone to death with a yoga mat. “There’s a special place in hell for women…who manipulate other women.”

A reprisal of Chloe and Maze the tag team. Magnificent.

Lucifer denouncing cats. “Open box of excrement in your house? Cats,” Makes me wonder what pet Lucifer would have if he could.

Uriel playing with patterns and probability! Sweet, now help me sail my ship! (2x05)

Lucifer as an action movie fan. Not surprising, since we already know he loves cheesy sci-fi from season 1 interaction with Chloe’s mom. But still another awesome nerdy layer.

Chloe teaming up on a case with her would-be-mother-in-law. Season 2 subtitle: #EveryoneHitsOnChloe

Lucifer in a psych ward. And of course, the Linda/Lucifer break out. Though it probably would’ve been equally fascinating as a break in.

SEASON HIGHLIGHTS (TOP 10):

The stunt driving in the corvette and Chloe’s car, and the surrounding circumstances of both incidents. I love the fulfillment of “I’ll never let you drive” comes full circle when Lucifer speeds on to try and save Chloe’s life, and when Chloe has to ride shotgun on Lucifer’s terms, she loses all composure.

Most of 2x13 “A Good Day to Die” but especially the X-Ambassadors “Unsteady“ montage where every character shines!

“God Johnson” - the whole episode from start to finish, because it revealed so much honesty, meta, and motivation about the Lucifer, Linda, and Mum. If I had to pick a favorite part, it would have to be when Lucifer is wheeling Linda down the corridor and she meets ‘God’ or the celestial parent trap. Linda and Lucifer get to act like fans in their own show, Dr. Martin reveals Lucifer’s hidden desire to see his family back together, and Mum realizes she loves her ex and much as she hates him.

Maze and Chloe on a case as a married couple.

The men #tribe and the women #tribe we clearly establish in the first half of the season through cocktails, bar fights, saunas, improv clubs, etc. It wasn’t obnoxious or super exclusive, it developed naturally and really served the characters.

All of Trixie’s screen time was awesome, and the fact she seems to get more of it. Particularly “you don’t have to speak in code, I can handle adult stuff (she’s very perceptive)” and “wusses don’t get lollies” and her reaction to Lucifer stealing her sandwich.

Lucifer’s final scene with Linda in the hospital, where she has the title line that once again gives Lucifer page turning insight, and he puts her glasses back on and I melt!

Amenadiel being able to slow time for the first time since his powers waned, and using it to save Linda’s life. It made me teary, and brought me back to 2x13 when he helped Lucifer by standing his ground for Chloe. (MVP on the Unsteady montage)

Ella standing up to Charlotte. Her saying “you hurt Dan, I’ll break your legs” at first came off funny, like ‘your East Coast is showing’ but with each episode I increasingly wonder if, instead of just being mellow and accepting and lighthearted, she knows more than she let’s on and there’s another side of her that we’ve not seen.

The made up dinner scene / “you look beautiful” / the trajectory of Deckerstar. I admit there was a faith wobble. I thought that the show was revving up Lucifer and Chloe, perhaps not ‘too fast,’ but too suddenly. A lot was development happened over very few episodes in season 2 (by contrast to the entire season one slow burn) that I was dazed. What the hell was going on? Then they slammed on the brakes and reversed it when Luci skipped town and I thought are you trying to give me whiplash. But now those trials and that zig zag line is actually effective in making their relationship more complex and less doe-eyed, leading up to the capstone line by Chloe about moving forward. It gives the series a Chuck-like nostalgia in that this epiphany frees up a lot of constraint: it doesn’t matter the twists, turns, sputters, or screaming wheelies of the ship, in fact all the better, so long as their eyes are open and the aim is forward.

DIDN’T LIKE (BOTTOM 10):

☒ The “Wobble” episode concept.(2x03 Sin-Eater) If I had to rate it’s strength as a compelling episode, it’s probably second to the bottom.

☒ Poor Uri, we did not know him well, but I wanted to! (2x05)

☒ The “Candy Morningstar“ episode (2x14). I like the resolution, however I thought overall it was a weak return from hiatus. It did not do a very good job of filling in gaps of Lucifer’s time in Vegas - but maybe that’s something flashbacks in season 3 will revisit.

☒ Ella, her brother Ricardo, (2x13) and their Brooklyn roots. At first when I heard Ella came from a big family of brothers - 5? if I’m not making that up - I thought “what rich grounds for parallels” Lucifer comes from a big angelic family and Ella and Luci hit it off quite well where quirkiness goes she practically like a sister, she even got him to go to church, I can’t wait to see where this goes. But then we met one of her siblings, and it felt somewhere between a front and a one-off plot point to serve the events unfolding in the case. Generally, I feel even though I really like her character, she was not used to full potential in the second act of season after 2x8. Part of the hazard of adding two characters in one season. However, I have hope from 2x17 when Ella goes off to accept a call from her brother that she’s been ‘waiting for all day,’ but it’s never revealed why and the call takes place off screen that we’re going to revisit Ella’s family and backstory in a more detailed, impactful way come s3.

☒ The Season Finale 2x18. Before you kill me - allow me to clarify. I LOVED THIS EPISODE, however it was so packed I wish that I could surgically take out some preceding season fluff and elaborate these critical details over 2-3 episodes so that they are more than nuggets. Especially because of three things: 1) The growing complexity of Amenadiel’s relationship with Dan and Mum!Charlotte. Face it: Amenadiel had an extended identity crisis this season. It was planned, and overdue, so it’s fine. But only in these last episodes did his friendship with Dan and anchor to humanity flourish, as though playing catch up to Maze, as well as his more complex, less idolizing perspective of his parents. I WANTED MORE 2) Mum!Charlotte’s relationship with Dan “you were my favorite human.” Writers - How can you drop a line like that and NOT go after it? Are you evil? Mum’s been around for millennia and in all that time humanity has been at best a perplexing annoyance, at worse a target for ire. And in the span of one or two months on Earth, the divine goddess has developed a favorite human attachment not just to manipulate as was her intention, but beyond her reasoning legit. That’s huge. At first it was so weird, and now that I WANT MORE you cut me off! 3) Mum!Charlotte was finally beginning to stand on her own as a character, only to be slightly Sparta’d into the void. Just a few episodes ago, her only significant interactions were he sons and Maze. Now she’s branched out to everyone with the exception of Trixie. (WHY ON EARTH DID WE MISS THAT OPPORTUNITY). Then just two episodes ago, she said “when I kissed [my husband] I knew it wasn’t him, and yet I wanted it to be” - BAM - and then when she discovered Lucifer’s real plan to parent trap her in heaven, and that he was too worried about the repercussions to humanity, she offered to gate crash heaven alone and spare her son - POW. And to top it off, she recognized her own latent identity crisis and accepted an alternative to go into uncharted territory, make a new life for herself without her ex and her children, to examine who she is as her own independent Goddess in a life and a universe of her own. To summarize: metric ton of progress for Mum in three episodes tops, mostly in the last one, and now she is gone to do the most interesting part of her journey off camera. AHHH!

☒ The flaming sword. It got so much build up for so little actual use, apart from opening the void. Plus side: I thought the void concept / how the sword was used in conjunction with the theme of moving forward was EXTREMELY good, but at the same time my inner child wanted more swordplay with at least the three main celestials: Lucifer, Amenadiel, and Mum. You get a sword, you get a sword, you get a sword!

☒ Excessive use of Devil Eyes. I’ll have to count and compare to see how this actually tallies up, but particularly in “God Johnson” and maybe 1-2 other times I don’t recall, I thought it was overkill. I get why Lucifer’s glow-eyes are a handy physicality feature to the story, but overall I think some cues were off for maximum impact. S1 Lucifer used his eyes and true form in 3 main contexts: 1) when it suited him to intimidate or frighten 2) when it suited him for for amusement 3) when he got really overwhelmed by his emotions - possibly because it takes concentration to maintain his image and extreme emotion can blink his focus. “God Johnson” by contrast seemed more like ‘we’re telegraphing the anger.’ Of course Luci is angry, hurt, resentful, and like a kid wants the last word with Dad. However, when you factor in his smarts/cunning, and how long he’s been planning his Dad conversation, it would follow that Lucifer is laser-focused, determined, and knows that Devil Eyes don’t hold any weight with Father. Therefore, I think there are more varied, smarter, scarier ways to show Lucifer’s anger that were underutilized this season, is voice and body language especially. Plus side: I truly enjoyed Lucifer’s form in 2x13 in hell, and 2x06 for his reveal to Linda. The lighting, 5/5 Morningstars.

☒ The pacing and balance of humor, smart storytelling, and the dramatic elements of the show felt off, probably also on account of two hiatuses. Reflecting over the whole season I’m not as annoyed as I was week-to-week. There were parts of the season where I waited eagerly for Monday only to find the comedy didn’t hit when I thought is this a comedic take on a police procedural or a parody of a comedy of a police procedural. Other times we got all the dramatic in one go and I thought Dang, where was this development when I needed it. But then I saw 2x18 and one scene made it better/sensical: Dan coaching Amenadiel at the improv club. In a strange, probably coincidental way, when Dan says “Amenadiel, that’s a little dark buddy” I felt like the writers were breaking the forth wall and saying “yes, I know, we take you on these weird tonal-emotional roller-coasters from pantomime slapstick to death and crippling guilt. We can and will make fun of ourselves now.” And I felt a burden lift as if replying “thank you for understanding that the struggle is real.”

☒ Celestial telephone tag cliffhangers. I love both of them: clever, full circle, smartly written. At the same time, I love to hate them. Twice is good. If showrunners go for a third time, I’ll take my cue from Maze and headbutt someone.

☒ I like the idea of expanding the universe by playing with the concept of the void. I think that it takes a great note from the comics. However, I’m worried it’ll be an idea that doesn’t go anywhere. As the show stands, Lucifer is so grounded in our physical world that adding a couple characters to the cast is tricky. This kind of world building? By comparison, this is God-level tricky, which is both exciting and terrifying.

Unanswered Questions / Moving Forward

See my Season 3: Speculations, Questions, Desires post.

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greenqueenhightower · 5 months ago

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ok so I saw that alicent is pregnant… and she'll give birth to Maelor or take moon tea and abort the baby…pls tell me that it’s all a bad dream :(

*Spoilers Ahead* Oh, dear anon, I wish I could tell you it’s all a bad dream 💚

I saw the leaks as soon as they came out and for days I’ve been discussing them with friends and mutuals. If it gives you any consolation, we know only that Alicent will feel her stomach in episode 4, ask the maester to prepare 🌙 ☕️ , and then drink it secretly. I’ve read all kinds of interpretations for this, but please be reminded that this is all we’ve got in terms of the leaks; the rest is speculation. Three scenarios are floating around:

a) Alicent takes the moon tea as a form of birth control. This implies that it’s not the first time she’s taken it, and it’s her regular habit to take some after she’s had sex with Criston. I think the way the scene is set up and delivered in episode 4 will determine whether Alicent has asked for moon tea before (What is her reaction? Does the maester seem to have prepared this before for her? Does he speak as if she’s asked him to make moon tea for the first time?).

b) Alicent takes moon tea as a form of abortion. The way “Alicent feeling her stomach” is interpreted is that her pregnancy is advanced (although idk how that can make sense given that Alicent and Criston have been having sex for a few weeks?) or that she fears she might be pregnant because she has failed to take moon tea this whole time and she might be experiencing the early symptoms of pregnancy like nausea, fatigue etc (which would make her pregnancy around 2-4 weeks, but certainly not at a stage when she can feel anything in terms of movement. Perhaps she’s touching her stomach out of concern and fear for what she has to do.)

c) Alicent takes the moon tea, but she stays pregnant nonetheless, and this pregnancy results in the birth of Maelor. The speculation gets wonky after that. I’ve read all kinds of things, that Alicent tries to kill herself by the lake as we see in the trailer (I’d hate that!) and even that she marries Larys to conceal the bastardy (since Criston’s vows as a white cloak are for life and they can’t get married, and if he’s found out to be the father he’ll be executed).

My overall reactions:

I would be fine with Alicent taking the moon tea as a form of birth control or abortion if the show does not melodramatize this moment or exploit it to give Alicent further reasons to resent herself and additional “sins” to atone for the whole season. Please, writers, let her move beyond that characterization and give us further insight into her psyche and a well-rounded portrayal of her character.

In case her pregnancy is advanced, taking the moon tea can be extremely dangerous (we know this because it almost killed Lysa) so I wouldn’t want to see this pain inflicted on her. We also know that there are religious qualms for those who adhere to the faith of the seven regarding moon tea (Margaery was convicted because Pycelle confessed he brewed her moon tea six times) so I wouldn’t want my girl to go on hating herself for something like that.

Most importantly, giving Alicent a bastard child and making Maelor a bastard would be character assassination for me. I’ve read that the writers might go down this lane for the Rhaenicent parallels and to further highlight the tragedy and her “hypocrisy” but it just doesn’t make sense to me. It also highly affects both Alicent’s and Maelor’s arcs in S3. Therefore, I am hesitant to believe that the writers would so deviate from canon to show us Alicent pregnant with baby Maelor. Does this mean they can’t if they want to? No, it doesn’t, but the chance, at least to me, is very slim.

I hope I’ve alleviated your fears somehow! Let us see what actually happens.

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sunlitroom · 8 years ago

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Gotham 3.20 How The Riddler Got His Name

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham.

The Court of Owls plotline helpfully condensed in 5 seconds. Fake Bruce – and how can he save Gotham. He‘s apparently only part of the plan - with Jim the other part. Katherine asks if Frank knows what happens if Jim fails. Bruce and Selina seem pretty over due to Bruce not telling Selina about her mother’s plan. The pier. Ed doesn't love Oswald. He loved Isabella. Bang. Splash

As always, long post will be long - reaaally long. There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot may appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)). There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism. Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

We see a scientist enter a raised glass lab in which Ed is lurking with a gun

Greetings, professor

The professor wisely calls for help, but Ed assures him that no-one is coming.

Ed’s appearance is very clean and clinical – not a hair out of place. Sterile.

Who are you – asks the professor. Ed smiles.

Excellent question

Ed offers a riddle, but the professor gets it wrong. Ed is infuriated by this – control totally lost. He seems to catch how extreme his response is.

I apologise - I'm not myself these days

Ed ties him up and tries another riddle, which he again gets wrong. Ed is furious again, and says he expected more. I’m not really sure why he expects the head of chemistry to be good at wordplay – but whatever. Ed says that none of the others did well either. We see the penny drop for the professor that he might not make it out of this.

Others?

A writer, artist, philosopher. Intellectual and artistic stars

Ed killed them all, apparently. He continues.

My best friend recently said there was no me without him. I shot him and dumped him in the river.

The professor cringes – because if this man murdered his best friend, he knows there’s no hope for him. Ed goes on.

He was a sort of guide to me on my journey…..

(an aside – this is a theme for Ed in this episode. Oswald the person is reduced to only what is useful for Ed, in memory and in hallucination. In a way, it’s as much an assertion of control and ownership as painting a question mark over Oswald’s portrait, or holding on to trophies like Dougherty’s badge, or Kristin’s glasses.)

…I know who I am professor. It’s how to be him that is eluding me. Ed is visibly agitated and frustrated. He offers another riddle – which the professor can’t answer.

Too bad, says Ed. He opens gas canisters and leaves, blowing the building up behind him as he goes.

Ed really is a selfish asshole. Artists and academics all squandered because they couldn’t answer his riddles. It’s maybe interesting to consider whether Ed – whose role was perhaps not reflective of his intellect – is likely to have resented figures who were recognised for their abilities.

Bruce recounting night of his parents’ death - except it's not Bruce, it's fake Bruce, who's been well rehearsed. Katherine is pleased.

Excellent, my dear - you truly are Bruce Wayne.

She phones Uncle Frank, and says that they are ready, adding.

I hope your nephew is amenable. Should he refuse - you know the rules.

Frank reassures her. She tells Bruce they are to proceed, and fills a biiig syringe.

Ed is reading a newspaper - Oswald missing, worst feared – a report on the murder of the chemistry professor.

Ed rubs his temples (we can assume running the city single-handed and going on a killing spree is pretty tiring) and pops a pill. His eyes go weird, and he turns to the sofa to see a hallucination of Oswald in a sodden suit. He snarls at him

What did I tell you about dripping on the couch?

It’s Oswald’s house, Ed. So belt up.

Os needles Ed over his hypocrisy, asking him how long he’ll present the public face of grief, when he actually killed his best friend. Ed is rattled – which suggests that although Ed might be using the hallucination of Oswald to serve his own needs, we’re still seeing some of the same stuff we saw eack when it was BadEd in the mirror – needling, provoking, mocking.

Oswald walks into the room and asks Ed about his extra-curricular activities, looking at a noticeboard with pictures of Ed’s recent victims.

HallucinationOswald mirrors Ed’s gestures as they look, because he's essentially just a projection of Ed.

Oswald recommends that Ed ditch the riddles. Ed reacts strongly. This is not an option

A good riddle reveals the asker – so someone who can answer can help him

He wants to find a guide to help him – because knowing who he is and how to be that person are two different things. Halluc-Os sneers.

I made myself Penguin when I killed Fish

He claims he didn’t need anyone’s help – and had no teacher.

(An aside- This also flags up areas where Ed’s understanding or knowledge of Oswald is flawed or incomplete. Fish told Oswald she created him when they met again – and Oswald did not dispute that. Either Oswald did not share that information, or Ed didn’t listen. I’d go for (A), since Ed paid attention to everything that helped him to read and manipulate Oswald)

Ed clicks his fingers. Maybe it’s not a teacher that he needs – but an enemy. Villains are defined by the men who seek to stop them, and he knows the perfect man (Freudian slip there from Ed – as discussed elsewhere with insights from @rhavewellyarnbag and @millicentcordelia - Jim is indeed the golden boy in Ed’s eyes)

Halluc-Os snaps to attention and steps in front of Ed as if to stop him

Please - do not say Jim Gordon

Jim says Jim’s name at the same time – and smiles maliciously at Oswald’s pained expression. Again – discussed elsewhere with @millicentcordelia and @rhavewellyarnbag – Ed knows that Oswald cares about Jim and tries to protect him, and so his hallucination of Oswald behaves accordingly. Mentally tormenting a hallucination of Oswald after he’s already messed horribly with his head and shot him is…. something else. Ed really does enjoy hurting people.

At GCPD, Lucius is talking over the recent string of murders with Harvey, who still appears to be acting captain. Harvey is dismissive, but Lucius is insistent.

And professor of mine died in that lab fire

Harvey pulls a face.

Bored down in the lab, Lucius?

Lucius visibly reigns in his frustration

Yes – but that’s not why you should look at this

Harvey says they cannot allocate resources to this (6 murders, Harvey – really?)

Lucius wants to call Jim, but Harvey refuses and says Jim needs rest.

A singing telegram arrives downstairs for Jim with a murder riddle from Ed. It’s a chess strategy, from which Lucius deduces he is going to kill again. I get a depressing flashback to season 2 of Twin Peaks and Windom Earle’s shenanigans.

A competitive chess game. Ed watches from a balcony. He’s tired and headachey – slapping his face to stay awake. They should have left the scene explaining Ed's exhaustion and drug use to combat it in – I think. The idea that Ed was not enjoying running the city anymore and was suffering physically adds more fuel to his decision to find his own way. Oswald appears again when he pops his pill. What the hell is he taking? Ed thank Oswald for coming. Oswald is sour.

Like I had a choice

Ed promises that it will be electrifying.

Oswald eats popcorn while Ed obnoxiously interrupts games by yelling suggestions from the balcony. Oswald tires of this.

Can we discuss why you're doing this?

Ed doesn’t like being questioned. Oswald smiles.

The problem with talking to projections of your psyche – and you of all people should know this – is that they know everything you know. Gordon can't help you (a slip by Ed– I don’t think Os ever refers to Jim by surname only). No-one can. You need to face the truth. (Again, this is pretty much BadEd territory – undermining, insulting)

Ed is distracted by the arrival of GCPD.

No Jim Gordon? Well then, who?

He smiles when he sees who - Harvey and Lucius

Oh - how interesting.

Ed flips the first switch, shocking a player – and enjoys the chaos that ensues – the hallucination forgotten.

Country Cabin That Looks Suspiciously Like The Place Maroni took Oswald

Jim wants to know why he's here. Is Uncle Frank going to explain disappearing when he was a kid? Or what happened between him and his dad?

Frank asks for trust. Jim knocks back a drink before answering.

You’re family - of course I trust you.

Somewhere, Selina feels the urge to smack Jim on the side of his head and give him a talking-to.

Frank asks Jim if he’s ever done something he thought was right at time, but would give his life to do over. Jim internally reviews every life event to date, up to and including his breakfast choices this morning.

Frank says that was what happened with Jim’s father. He loved his brother and Jim is his son. He wants to make things right.

Wayne Manor, where knife throwing lessons are in progress.

Alfred deliberately annoys Bruce as he throws to test his concentration. He thinks Bruce has something on his mind.

Miss Kyle, perhaps

Apparently, Selina let a note for him – asking for a meeting. Bruce refuses - Selina's avoided him for weeks, and it’ll take more than a note to have him running. I suppose Bruce is a child – so his lack of understanding is plausible – but Selina did have her mother, who abandoned her, come back into her life and immediately cynically try to scam her. I think she’s allowed to have some problems right now.

GCPD, where Lucius reviews evidence. There’s numbers on bottom of the chess pieces. They call the number they give them, and reach Ed, trying out a new gravelly voice. He tells Lucius it’s bad manners to intercept other people’s mail. Lucius asks why he killed all those people

I had no choice - they failed my test

He invites Lucius to solve clue – the next target is in the belly of beast. If he can solve the clue, then he’s one step closer to finding him.

We can see, in the background, that Ed has painted a question mark over Oswald's portrait

Out in the countryside, Jim and Uncle Frank are hunting. Jim misses. Frank commiserates – but Jim tells him it was deliberate, in order to test his gun. Frank makes disappointed noises, but Jim’s having none of it.

You tell me you’ve done terrible things, and then you bring me out here (Good instincts, Jim. Isolated cabins are murdery)

Franks asks if Jim’s heard old Gotham tales about the Court of Owls. Jim responds,

Pretend I haven't

Frank elaborates. They’re a secret society started by elite to maintain balance. (elites aren’t interested in balance, Frank – they’re interested in maintaining an unbalanced status-quo which perpetuates their power, but anyway).

However, time and power has corrupted the organisation, of which Jim’s father was, and Frank is, a member.

Jim handles his gun meaningfully.

Frank reassures him. The Court doesn't mean him harm. It has the highest regard for him, and wants him to become a member. Jim looks generally unhappy.

GCPD – where Lucius and Harvey interrogating a man. Harvey tells Lucius to rough him up, but Lucius doesn’t play that way – and says that ‘no-one is hitting anyone’.

Long story short – the man’s boss is called Mr Thirio – Greek for beast – so they can find the next clue.

Wayne Manor, in the kitchens.

Bruce asks Alfred what he’s making. It’s shepherd’s pie. Fuck – flee to the city, Bruce. Get in a fight. Get abducted. Visit Jeri. Visit Jerome. Shepherd’s pie tastes of precisely fuck all and never seems to come to an end.

Alfred tells how the recipe was given to him by an old ‘lady friend’ with whom he had a fling, but broke up over something silly. Bruce scoffs at the attempt to get his to see Selina. Alfred elaborates, though, and says that at least he and his ex got closure. Bruce should see Selina – if only for that. Bruce agrees, and Alfred says he’ll keep some pie warm. Even better. Dry shepherd’s pie.

GCPD.

Lucius tells Harvey that Thirio was not in his apartment. Harvey is not really listening, admiring himself in the mirror. He’s going to the academy graduations.

How do I look?

Is this what Gordon deals with?

Harvey thanks him, and then asks if he’s seen his badge

Oswald’s mansion, where Ed is being berated by his own psyche. Oswald rants at him. He showed him how to be Ed Nygma. He showed him how to run the underworld, hidden in plain sight.

(An aside. Ed fundamentally doesn't want that. He doesn’t want to be concealed in any way. He needs to be recognised – which is why his situation with Oswald was only ever temporary)

Oswald works on him some more. He says that Ed isn't sleeping, that he’s taking drugs and talking to his own hallucination. He’s screaming now, trying to undermine him.

You’re lost without me.

Ed tries to leave. However, his vision blurs and turns red, and suddenly hallucination Oswald is singing a torch song. This seems to enrage Ed. He doesn’t want a reminder of this aspect of Oswald. His hallucination is there to serve a specific purpose, and Ed – ultimately – had no use for this part of Oswald. Maybe – too – seeing a reminder of the fact that Oswald was an actual person with his own motivations and feelings kindles some guilt, because Ed hits the table and yells:

I admit that killing you killed part of me – but I will find a way forward and be reborn!

The hallucination yells after him, but is breaking down now, more obviously just a projection of Ed’s insecurities – talking about Oswald in the third person

Penguin saw you Ed - he made you. There’s no Ed Nygma without Penguin!

Maybe try taking just half of one of those pills, Ed?

GCPD – where Lee is examining the corpse. Lucius points out that Lee worked at Arkham, and asks for her insight – why would a killer do this? Lee replies that we all want answers to the same big questions. Who am I? Will anyone ever love me? Some people seek answers in a logical way….

While others stuff Harvey Bullock’s badge inside a dead body.

Lucius courteously thanks Lee before leaving, using her professional title.

At the academy, Harvey rehearses a bad speech. Ed sidles up to him. Harvey asks what the hell he’s doing there. Ed comments that – as GCPD seemingly can’t locate the mayor – he’s here to address the cadets on his behalf. Harvey bridles at the suggestion of Ed – a cop killer – addressing the cadets. Ed is irritated by this:

How is the view from the moral high ground, Harvey?

Harvey’s phone rings. It’s Lucius. Ed grins...

Must be about me

…and lurches forward to grab Harvey and – presumably – chloroform him.

Sitting on some stairs in the city, Bruce reads Selina’s note. He hears a fight and goes to see what’s happening.

I remember you - Bruce Wayne

It’s Sonny Gilzean, who asks if he has money, and makes to mug him.

Selina appears and tells him to back off

Bruce says he’s here to talk. Selina isn’t – she’s looking for Sonny – with whom she’s got business. Bruce proceeds to put his foot in it.

He’s a thief - you can't trust him.

Selina icily responds that she’s a thief too. Bruce tries to apologise.

Sorry – I should have told you I suspected your mother

Selina doesn’t want to hear it – but can’t quite manage to restrain a backhanded attempt to protect him.

Go home – you don't belong here

Bruce asks why she asked him here at all. Selina says she didn’t – and tells him not to come looking for her again.

Sonny says it’s too bad his girlfriend left.

I don't think she's my girlfriend

Me neither

Bruce takes more of a beating before rallying.

Graduation ceremony. Ed takes the stage and banters a little. Harvey’s all tied up. They all look dandy.

How do I look?

He riddles at them

Light as a feather- but no man can hold it long. What am I?

The audience of cadets mutters, and wonders if they can legally shoot him now or have to wait until after the ceremony.

Ed loses his temper and delivers the answer while rolling out gas canisters.

Your breath

He laughs, and leaves.

Meantime Lucius arrives and encounters another telegram. He talks to Ed on the phone

Foxy? How’d you know it was me?

Only one person refers to me as Foxy

(Oh dear – a special nickname. That sound in the distance is someone, somewhere, launching a ship. Ed helps the launch along by demanding Lucius’ undivided attention)

Come upstairs and play a game with me for the antidote. Come along, or Harvey and the cadets all die.

Lucius runs upstairs to find Harvey tied to a chair and perched on the banister. He asks if he’s OK. Ed removes Harvey’s gag to let him answer. Harvey tells him not to try to outsmart ‘this lunatic’ - cadets lives at stake.

Lucius ignores him.

Let’s begin.

Ed smiles widely.

Wonderful.

If Lucius can get just one, everyone lives. Lose – and they all die.

(To save my wrists, and because the riddles are giffed elsewhere – I’m not typing them all out in full)

Ed offers the first riddle. Lucius answers ‘love’ – but the answer was ‘loneliness’. Ed is enraged.

How do you not know that?

He cuts a rope. Harvey panics and pleads.

No – Nygma, no.

Another.

I’m a member of a group – but can never blend in

Lucius answers ‘snowflake’

Ed screams in rage

‘Individual’

Lucius remonstrates.

Snowflake is also a suitable answer.

Ed wants his answer – though. He becomes very agitated, and cuts another rope. Harvey is frightened, and pleads again.

I'm sorry - oh god

Ed is arguing with himself now. Oswald was right -he's was the only one. He wheels suddenly to point confront Lucius. No! It's just you - you aren’t a good enough enemy

Lucius stays calm, and listens to what Ed says – so when Ed starts his next riddle….

I feel your every move. I’m with you through birth, and I’ll see you rot

He’s able to interrupt, unsettling Ed. He keeps his tone controlled and soft. Curious, more than anything

What did you do Ed, what happened to Penguin?

Ed falters.

Did you kill him? You did, didn’t you?

Ed is repeating the riddle compulsively now – almost like it will calm him.

Lucius answers:

A reflection

Ed’s smile contains genuine joy

Correct

Ed walks away without enacting any of his revenge. He wants to be understood more than to kill

Unfortunately, the rope frays anyway – and Harvey is caught by Lucius before he can topple down the stairs.

Back in the city, Bruce's nose is bleeding. He stops at a convenient mirror in an alley – only to see his double appear behind him, which is still less scary than BOB.

You

Good to see you too

Bruce says his double sent the note – and notices that he’s dressed identically to him.

Yes - like looking into a mirror.

Bruce 2 lunges forward and plunges the syringe into Bruce’s neck

This is what I was made for - to be Bruce Wayne.

Back at the hunting lodge. Jim doesn’t want to believe what he’s hearing.

How could my father have been part of this?

Frank protests. At the time, they were proud to join - thought we were going to do good. He claims now, though, to be disenchanted. He despises them. Jim’s father saw through their lies earlier – but Frank didn’t listen until it was too late. The Court killed him.

Jim can’t hear this. He denies it - adamant. He was there. It was an accident. A drink driver.

I was in the wreck. I watched him die.

Oh Jim.

Frank says staging a crash is simple business for the Court.

Why now, Jim wants to know – 20 years later? Where have you been? Where were you when my mom and I needed you?

Franks said the Court sent him abroad to prove loyalty. Jim asks why he would prove loyalty to group that murdered his brother? Frank says he chose to live. Now, though - they want Jim to join. He wants Jim to help him succeed where others have failed. He wants to bring the Court down and return the rule of democracy and law to Gotham. Jim asks why he should believe him.

You have to believe in something

Wayne Manor kitchens. Alfred listens to a radio report of Ed’s exploits which tells people to look out for a man in a green suit. Should probably also mention cheekbones. Look out for a guy wearing a green suit, with cheekbones that could cut glass, probably having a conversation with himself.

Bruce 2 enters. Alfred asks how Selina was. Bruce 2 smarmily responds.

Selina Selina

Alfred smiles, and offers shepherd’s pie. Bruce says that sounds delicious. Alfred looks momentarily suspicious – because shepherd’s pie plainly isn’t delicious – and claiming it is means you’re definitely an evil doppelganger.

He masks his uncertainty quickly

Jolly good - won't be a mo.

A swat team invades Van Dahl mansion. Ed’s gone, though. We see the portrait again.

In the street. Lucius gets into his car. Ed pops up from the back seat.

Hello Foxy

Lucius seems unruffled. So - the antidote turned out to be grape juice, and the deadly toxin was knock-out gas.

Ed says the whole point was to play a game, not kill people. Lucius points out,

But you killed Penguin and Prof Dyson.

Ed frowns.

Have you always been Foxy?

Lucius says he’s not sure what he means. Ed elaborates.

All my life - I felt like someone was inside of me. Someone stronger and smarter, that people would fear. No one else saw that.

Lucius interrupts,

Except Penguin

Ed agrees – a moment of sadness on his face

Except Oswald.

But he killed Oswald because Oswald killed the woman he loved

Lucius asks if that’s what Ed thinks he’ll do now Oswald’s gone - fill that role - to be a reflection (‘a friend is, as it were, a second self’). Ed says no – though.

I know who I am. I know how to be him.

He smiles as he puts a gun to Lucius’ head – and thanks him for the part he played in that.

Lucius points out how reckless Ed’s actions are. He’s honestly worried and pitying, and tells Ed that any part of him that isn’t insane needs to listen to him.

You need help. Turn yourself in.

Ed’s smile fades.

My actions seem mad to you

Lucius nods.

To anyone

Ed swallows.

I - I killed the best friend I’ve ever had. My search for a teacher or enemy…that was just me trying to hold on to him for a little bit longer. (Interesting that Ed is able to reflect honestly when confronted with genuine, calm concern)

But now I know who am without him

So who are you now?

Come on, Foxy. I’m The Riddler.

He wallops Lucius on the head with his gun, and then leans back, laughing to himself.

Ed is at the pier with Oswald. Ed tells the hallucination that his friendship meant something to him. He cared about Oswald, and he misses him.

Oswald is sour

Gee. That almost makes up for being dead.

(An aside - Ed’s admission isn’t exactly surprising. I've said before that while Ed was extremely manipulative, and fostered dependency from Oswald - I honestly think that Ed - being utterly convinced of his own judgment above anyone else's - felt that this was fine, because he was acting in Oswald's own best interests. Oswald is the only friend Ed ever had, and that was meaningful to him.

As Oswald points out though - while it's nice that Ed gets his emotional closure, it doesn't make Oswald any less shot. In the same way, Ed’s retconning of Kristin's death into his 'becoming' doesn't make her any less strangled. In a way, it serves to make Ed more frightening. He can feel genuine love or friendship for someone, but he equally has the capacity to knowingly hurt that person, to frighten them, and to take their life from them. That he can then package it neatly into something that suits him psychologically just feels like one last violation, someone's personhood taken away, and their life considered only in terms of how it served Ed's needs.)

The hallucination points out that all GCPD is hunting him, and no one is going to be afraid of The Riddler.

Ed smiles. They will be. Kneeling at the edge, he tips the pills into the water. Looking round, he sees he is alone, and smiles. He bids Oswald goodbye before donning a bowler hat and striding away.

Ivy is misting lots of pot plants in a room which also contains a bed, which also contains one Oswald Cobblepot. Oswald is waking up

Well - looks who's alive.

Oswald asks who she is.

Ivy Pepper, stupid.

Confused, Oswald asks if they know each other. Ivy tells him she pulled him out of the river – and has been nursing him for weeks. It’s pretty boring – he sleeps a lot. She then frowns, noticing that Oswald looks strange. Like he’s going to puke. She asks if he’s OK. Oswald’s possibly confused at being rescued and nursed out of simple altruism for once, as opposed to being shot full of drugs and relentlessly manipulated.

Oswald smiles, and his jangly signature music kicks in.

I just remembered – there’s someone I need to kill

You go, sweetie.

At the miserable cabin. Jim brings back wood for the fire. He calls for his uncle, but he’s gone, leaving a family photograph with a message written on the back:

Help me honour his memory.

At the Court, Katherine is enquiring how things went. Frank says Jim’s interest is piqued, but convincing him will take time. Katherine says they don’t have time, and that the clone is in place. Bruce Wayne is waking up as they speak.

And he is. Bruce sees bright lights and wakes up in a cell, in weird woollen pyjamas. Going to the window, he looks out to an arctic looking landscape.

I apologise - I’m not myself these days.

This has always been the problem for Ed, who has struggled for as long as we’ve known him to have a coherent sense of self. Shot through with self-hatred, parts of his psyche splinter off and manifest as other people – usually berating him, mocking him for his failure to be a better self – this other, buried person he feels he’s supposed to be – that he sometimes glimpses in other people, like Lucius, or Jim.

Unsure of how to embody this better self – Ed looked for a guide. He thought that was Oswald, but Oswald failed him, and was mercilessly discarded. He thinks defining himself against an enemy might help – and who better than Jim Gordon? But Jim, hilariously, manages to thwart Ed simply by being absent.

So Ed’s left with Lucius – which is fortunate for him – because Jim’s approach would have involved much less in the way of warm, calm compassion, and more in the way of punching. Lucius is perhaps the first person to express genuine, disinterested concern for Ed. He listens, and doesn’t mock. Ed, in turn, credits Lucius with helping him see who he is. As we leave him this episode, he has a renewed purpose and sense of who he is.

Jim’s dead father has always loomed large, and many of Jim’s interactions with authority figures are informed by that relationship – with Jim seeking out father figures, but then almost immediately being disappointed by them, and acting out in response. I wonder whether – on some level – Jim had an inkling of something being not quite right?

Whether he did or not, the revelations about his father will shake Jim’s sense of identity, and force him to question himself and his ideas. Already there’s a fundamental shift. He’s no longer the boy who witnessed his father’s accidental death. He’s now the boy who saw him murdered.

Bruce isn’t himself right now because he’s at odds with Selina – who acts as a counterbalance to him in many ways. Whether he can retain his sense of self in the face of whatever training he seems to have been forcibly sent on remains to be seen.

Bruce 2, meanwhile, is exultant. A lifetime of experimentation and prodding, and he finally gets to ‘be’ Bruce.

Oswald wasn’t Oswald for much of the episode, because what we saw was a fake – a projection of Ed’s insecurities, conjured up to help him cope with sadness at the loss of a friend. However, the Oswald we saw at the end – grinning and out for revenge – seems to have regained a more firm grip on his sense of self.

General Observations

All-round enjoyable episode, I thought. Lucius is warm, thoughtful, curious, respectful, and intelligent – and great to watch. His interactions with Harvey and Lee offer something a little different. His scenes with Ed, though, were really the highlight. There’s a genuine connection there that will hopefully be developed more.

Butch, Barbara and Tabitha were conspicuous by their absence. All we can take from this is that Barbara has not made good on her promise to kill Ed – despite some weeks having passed – and that this is likely having an effect on that relationship.

Jim’s in a pretty vulnerable place right now. Still smarting – we assume – from the aftermath of the triangle of tedium, he’s now on very treacherous ground, being either guided or manipulated by an Uncle whom he resents for abandoning him after his father’s death.

Also dealing with parental abandonment twice over is Selina. She seems hard and uncaring right now – trying to go back to her old life like Bruce never existed – trying to protect herself.

An Ivy/Oswald friendship would be great. They’re both – as discussed elsewhere – perceived as odd outsiders, both (for different reasons) childlike adults. Oswald never forgets slights, but he never forgets a good turn either – and Ivy selflessly cared for him for weeks.

First confirmed non-sighting of Victor. I’m watching you, show.

Thoughts?

#Gotham commentary #how the riddler got his name #gotham 3:20

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daresplaining · 8 years ago

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Thoughts on Entertainment Weekly’s First Look at “The Defenders”

At last! Here are our assorted thoughts on the main points of the Entertainment Weekly article.

On a chilly December afternoon, inside a brightly lit set, the stars of Marvel and Netflix’s small-screen superhero universe-- Charlie Cox (Matt Murdock, a.k.a. Daredevil), Krysten Ritter (Jessica Jones), Mike Colter (Luke Cage), and Finn Jones (Danny Rand, a.k.a. Iron Fist)-- are still waiting to film their first scene as a group for their summer 2017 team-up, Marvel’s The Defenders.

We finally have a release date! Sort of. Summer is much sooner than we were expecting this to air, and it again brings up the question of when, exactly, the Punisher show is coming out. They started filming that first, but it is, after all, a longer production. Will that be out this upcoming winter, then?

We’re also becoming more and more convinced that-- barring the possibility of a last-minute surprise announcement-- Frank Castle will not be appearing in this team-up. As we’ve said before, as much as we like Frank, we’re okay with that. We’re worried that eight episodes will not be enough time to build satisfying character-arcs for the four protagonists we already have-- never mind throwing the Punisher into the mix.

After investigating the corporation for different reasons, each has arrived separately at the offices of Midland Circle (a name that should sound familiar to Daredevil fans as the shady operation behind a giant, literal plot hole in season 2). “Every one of them is following their own trail of bread crumbs, trying to unpack a mystery in New York,” explains showrunner Marco Ramirez, who produced Daredevil’s first season before co-showrunning the second. “We wanted them all caught off guard. Once they’re in that room together, it’s kind of like, ‘Oh, s---, who are you?”

Some more great insight into the narrative structure of the show. For this to really feel like a partnership of equals (rather than a story with a bunch of guest-stars) each of these characters needs their own significant chunk of screentime, and each needs to bring something unique and vital to the team. Thus, it’s promising to hear that each is going to have their own plotline, likely based on experiences and information provided in their solo shows. Again, we come back to the threads connecting these narratives: we know Midland Circle is connected to the Hand, but we can guess it also is tied to the mysteries of Jessica and Luke’s origin accidents/IGH, and we’d bet good money on it being associated with Rand Corp as well. We love the idea of them all meeting each other (in their superhero identities, anyway) for the first time at the same time. Split-second, unplanned team-ups are the most entertaining team-ups.

At the beginning, [Danny]’s a fish out of water upon returning to New York after surviving a plane crash as a child and being raised by monks in the mystical city of K’un-Lun. According to Jones, Danny will continue that search on The Defenders: “He’s craving desperately for family, for help, for guidance, for people to learn from, and for a team,” the actor muses. “But because of what happens in Iron Fist, he’s very untrusting. It’s really his way or no way.”

Which is why Danny may be the key to the Defenders’ formation. “Danny has drive,” Jones teases. “He drives all of the Defenders to get behind him to solve the…” He trails off, noticing the publicist in the corner looking up. “Issue.”

It’s really disappointing, and kind of strange, that EW didn’t do an Iron Fist feature (unless it’s still forthcoming!), so we appreciate the insights provided here. Everything we hear about this interpretation of Danny’s journey makes us more and more excited. Identity and belonging are huge factors for him in the comics, particular early-on. Having left his home and arrived in a world he barely remembers, where he has no friends and quite a few enemies, he is in desperate search for someone and something to which he can dedicate himself. In the comics he is taken in by Colleen and her father, through whom he meets Misty, her partner Rafael Scarfe (sadly dead in the MCU...), and eventually, Luke. This family of friends helps him to acclimate to his new life in New York, and joining Luke’s Heroes for Hire business gives him a sense of purpose. We’re excited to see him take this same personal journey in the MCU-- this time with a few additional players.

It’s not surprising to hear that he may be the catalyst for the team’s creation. Finn Jones commented in the article’s accompanying video that Danny is “the one who knows, really, what’s going on”. In this universe the Iron Fist is connected to the Hand, and so if any of the four were to come to the table with prior, in-depth knowledge of whatever the Hand are doing now, it would be Danny.

Well, and Stick. Gosh, we’re so excited to see Danny interact with Stick!

“We knew it would take something massive to pull these four characters from their individual worlds to work together,” he says, “but also small enough that it felt like it existed in our world.” What, or who, could possibly walk that line?

Sigourney Weaver, it turns out-- as in the Sigourney Weaver, of Alien and Avatar fame. Her evildoing Alexandra, whom Ramirez describes as an “utter badass,” is not based on a comic-book character. “Sigourney is the kind of person you can buy as the smartest person in the room, who you can also buy as a person holding a flamethrower. Her character is a very powerful force in New York City. She’s everything Sigourney is: sophisticated, intellectual, dangerous.” He pauses. “I’m sorry. I can only say a bunch of adjectives right now.”

So it sounds like Alexandra is ...the MCU version of Sigourney Weaver? Cool! Not basing her on a comic book character is a surprising choice. On the one hand, it’s a little disappointing, considering the sheer number of fantastic pre-existing supervillains there are to choose from. But at the same time, making her a new character is smart because it means she will be a complete surprise. We will legitimately not know anything about her before watching the show, which will be fun.

In this case the team had to juggle four entirely different world with four leads: Daredevil is an ultraviolent law drama, Jessica Jones a heady noir, Luke Cage a hip-hop-infused character study, and Iron Fist a martial-arts extravaganza. Instead of shoehorning them all into a whole new genre, Ramirez says they tried to emphasize what grounded each of the shows: the characters’ need to find the truth.

(”Martial arts extravaganza”! Is it March yet?). We’ve talked before about how much we love the fact that each of the shows has its own distinct personality, and cannot wait to see what tone the team-up will take. We’re hoping for something a bit lighter than average.

Because of that, there’s no leader of the Defenders. Instead, misanthropic Jessica and people-pleasing Matt have a cat-and-mouse relationship, while Luke and Danny share some mentor-mentee chemistry. And what about Jessica and Luke, who, uh, had “coffee” on Jessica Jones? “I don’t think I can tell you,” Ritter says, adding that the pair, aside from crossing paths in that first scene, haven’t had a conversation yet.

No worries-- they will, says Ramirez: “It was almost like a checklist. ‘Where’s our great Luke and Jessica scene? Where’s our Danny and Matt scene?’�� And not just for the leads. Supporting players like Karen Page (Deborah Ann Woll) and Foggy Nelson (Elden Henson) from Daredevil will enter the fray, while Trish Walker (Rachael Taylor) and Jeri Hogarth (Carrie-Anne Moss) from Jessica Jones are set to assist the team. Misty Knight (Simone Missick) from Luke Cage will cross paths with Jessica, and of course, Claire Temple (Rosario Dawson), now Luke’s love interest, will be ready to patch up any wounds. “We look up at a bunch of boards in the writers’ room and say, ‘Oh, wait, we haven’t seen an interaction between these two,’” Ramirez says. “So what does that mean? Where does that lead?”

(First of all, Misty is going to arrest Jessica, and it’s going to be awesome.) Ultimately, character interactions are what we’re looking forward to the most in this show, so it’s great that the showrunners have that same priority. (A good plot would be nice too, but honestly, our requirements are very minimal in that area. It’s going to be amazing no matter what.) To start, given that this is a group of strong-willed, independent superheroes, it makes sense that there wouldn’t be a leader. As we said above, all four of them need to be treated equally by the narrative. Obviously, we’re unbelievably psyched to see all of the character interactions we love so much in the comics and haven’t seen in live action yet: Luke and Danny, the ultimate dynamic duo; Danny and Misty (we’re still hoping she might pop up in Iron Fist, but there’s no guarantee of that); Misty and Colleen, the other ultimate dynamic duo; Matt’s interactions with... well, everybody... But if possible, we’re even more excited for all of the character dynamics that have never been explored before. One of the out-of-nowhere most fascinating relationships in all of the shows so far has been Karen Page’s shared story arc with-- of all people-- the Punisher! This show, as crowded as it’s going to be, is ripe for all kinds of fun and fascinating interactions, and we absolutely cannot wait.

Sometimes, it’s teaming up to face a threat. Other times, it’s simply talking and connecting. Cox treasures those smaller interactions from the comics: “One of my favorite images is from a Daredevil issue with Luke Cage and Daredevil on a rooftop eating cheeseburgers. I love that.”

Same here, Charlie! (We assume he’s referring to Scott Kolins’ cover for Marvel Team-Up (2004) #9. Charlie Cox has great taste.):

The Alias Investigations P.I. may have wiped that smile off of Kilgrave’s face, but her takedown of the mind controller in Jessica Jones’ first season brings more interest to her work. “She’s still dealing with the aftermath of Kilgrave, and now she’s dealing with ‘success’-- and not well,” Ritter explains. “People want her to work for them, she’s getting a lot of business, and she’s not ready for any of that. She hasn’t changed, but her environment has, and there’s no handbook for how to exist in a world where you are now popular.”

We don’t have much to say about this, beyond the fact that we can’t wait to watch Jessica deal with unwanted fame. This, mixed with her lingering Kilgrave-related trauma (as mentioned by Jessica Jones showrunner Melissa Rosenberg in regards to Season 2), will make for an interesting combination. Since we know she will be spending some time with Matt in his civilian life, it seems likely that he could be one of the new clients alluded to above. Either that, or he gets her out of jail after Misty arrests her. Or both! We’d settle for both.

[Daredevil] ended his second season in a fittingly hellish place: alone. His relationship with his best friend Foggy came undone, their law firm Nelson & Murdock was dismantled, and Elektra died fighting the Hand, only to have her corpse recovered by the evil organization. In the final minutes of the finale, Matt comes clean about his secret identity to Karen, but it may already be too late to make amends. The Defenders picks up a few months afterward, Cox says, and Matt’s thinking about leaving his role as the Man Without Fear. “One of Matt’s big things is trying to protect the people he loves, and he’s failed,” the actor explains. “He’s left holding the dead body of a loved one, and so I think he’s tried to turn a corner. It’s almost like quitting an addiction… When we meet him at the beginning of The Defenders, I’m not sure he’s completely found peace with that idea. He’s doing the best with what he has.”

This is really interesting, because it’s not at all how we interpreted the ending of DD Season 2. His decision to reveal his identity to Karen seemed like it would have been born of a decision to maintain that identity, and to keep operating as Daredevil in spite of all of the pain it had just caused him. But regardless, it also makes perfect sense that Elektra’s death would lead him to question the effectiveness of his superhero career, so this isn’t necessarily strange or out-of-character. Regardless, we’re really excited to see how Matt handles this, and to see how this dilemma this will impact his relationships with everyone else-- Karen in particular, since she only just found out his secret.

Luke may have been carted back to Seagate Prison at the end of Luke Cage, but don’t worry-- he won’t be there for long. “It’s safe to say Cage is not going to spend the entire season of The Defenders behind bars,” Colter says, laughing. “He’s been able to come clean and deal with his past.” [...] The positive outlook helps when it comes to joining the Defenders. Colter says Luke acts as “the conciliator” for the group, and Ramirez agrees: “Luke is someone who’s, in a very mature way, compartmentalized his life.” Still, that doesn’t mean Luke is invincible. “He’s openly walking around as a hero,” Ramirez teases. “There’s a lot of pressure that comes with that.”

We figured Luke wouldn’t be in jail for long, though we hope it’s long enough for us to at least learn who his lawyer is! If the group did have a leader, we figured it would (or should, anyway) be Luke. Of all of them, he is the most at home in his own life right now, and in the best emotional state for leadership. Jessica ended her show in denial about her own heroism, Matt is in the process of rebuilding his tattered life and relationships... and we don’t know exactly where Danny will end up (beyond being “untrusting”) at the end of his solo show, but Luke’s situation is still looking pretty good in comparison. (Which is saying something, since he ends the season in jail.). We can definitely imagine him acting as the group’s “conciliator”, though we wish him luck with that...

“This is my version of Iron Fist, this is [showrunner] Scott Buck’s and Netflix’s and Marvel TV’s version of Iron Fist,” Jones says. “We are dealing with an entity that is in and of itself.” [...] When the story begins, Danny has returned to New York City 15 years after the plane crash that left him orphaned in the mystical city of K’un-Lun, where he was raised and trained by monks. “He’s a child trapped in a man’s body,” Jones says. “He’s an incredibly fierce warrior, but he doesn’t know who he is.” In other words, he has to grow up-- and grow up fast. “Iron Fist is like Danny in his adolescence, and The Defenders is like Danny taking responsibility and moving forward with his purpose,” Jones explains.

More Iron Fist tidbits, a lot of which we’re going to be addressing in the near future, as we head into the final countdown to March 17. We’re still paranoid that they’re going to dial down the magical elements too much. (In the video, Finn Jones describes the Iron Fist as an “energy force” that people can be trained to channel-- implying that they may be turning the chi of Shou-Lao into something that originates internally, and doing away with Shou-Lao altogether.) We’re still intrigued by the 15-year timespan, as it relates to K’un-Lun’s cosmological behavior. (In the comics the city intersects with Earth once every ten years.) We’re still curious about what Danny’s motivation for returning to Earth will be, since they seem to be getting rid of his revenge quest. Finn’s description of the show as “an entity that is in and of itself” suggests that this is going to be a completely new approach to Iron Fist-- which, ultimately, and despite the fact that it might mean no dragons, is very exciting.

The references here to Danny’s lost sense of identity and emotional turmoil are spot-on, and exactly what we wanted. Identity is a huge factor for Danny in the comics-- he’s still figuring it out even now, after his character has been around for forty years. When Danny first leaves K’un-Lun he is lost. He has left his home to return to a place that is now alien to him. He is the champion and protector of a city that he is locked out of. His whole identity for the past ten years has been wrapped up in becoming the Iron Fist, and once he comes back to New York, where being the Iron Fist has no meaning, he finds that he doesn’t know who he really is anymore, and that he has lost touch with whole sections of his past. There’s a beautiful scene in Iron Fist volume one in which Danny returns to his childhood home for the first time, and breaks down sobbing as the full weight of his parents’ deaths finally-- after ten years-- hits him. The description of Danny as “a child trapped in a man’s body” is a great one, not only in that it likely describes Danny’s naivety about life in New York, but also because it acknowledges that he missed quite a few formative experiences and is only now coming to terms with this. We will say, in conjunction with this, that we hope they also spend some time developing and exploring his (quite idyllic) life in K’un-Lun, rather than just focusing on the consequences of his not being on Earth for fifteen years. It’s important to also know what he lost in choosing to return to his roots.

In any case, we’ll dig more into all of this in our analysis of the new Iron Fist trailer!

#Marvel #Netflix Defenders #Commentary #News

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tiliaeuropaea-blog · 8 years ago

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sapphic-nd replied to your post

“*banging pots and pans* MOFF-TISS-HATE MOFF-TISS-HATE...”

why, though? can you think of a legitimate reason to back up that point or are you just bitter bc your ship wasn't canon?

Under the cut, a list of things I’m “bitter” about, regarding all seasons of Sherlock, in no particular order.

They butchered all the female characters. Straight up butchered their character potential and made them tools to be used by male characters. Let me be a bit more specific about a couple of them:

Irene Adler (and yes, I always going to be bitter about it). Now, Irene Adler in A Scandal in Bohemia (published in 1891!) is a more proactive, progressive, appealing and genuinely interesting character that BBC!Irene will ever hope to be. And if you think about the 120 year gap, it’s kind of sad. ACD!Irene is a successful thirty-something woman who has retired from her career after making a fortune and now lives in a fancy area of London all by herself (IN THE FUCKING XIXTH CENTURY), marries for love and outsmarts Sherlock Holmes so hard he is left speechless. She’s funny, talented, smart, has a wonderful sense of humour, and sometimes dresses as a young lad to walk around London without being restricted by gender norms. An icon to this day. Now Steven Moffat read this story and went, “This is absolutely NOT a feminist victory! I, a straight white cis middle-aged man, know EXACTLY what a feminist victory looks like!” So BBC!Irene is a woman whose power literally comes from her vagina and her being fuckable. Her agency is reduced to her reliance on powerful male figures. Sure, she’s smart, but it’s made clear she’s not smart enough. The Alpha Man outsmarts her, humiliates her and then swoops in to mercifully save her. She should be the Woman who beat Sherlock Holmes, but she’s not. And don’t even get me started on her sexual orientation (and the implications that all gay women are promiscuous and just waiting for the Right Man). I highly recommend reading Antonija Primorac’s The Naked Truth for more insight on the matter.

Molly Hooper. They mistreated her character all along, and I think this is pretty clear. She’s depicted as needy, pathetic, weak time and time again. I thought they were getting better at writing her until season 4 came along. They simply used her when they needed her (e.g. for looking after a baby they created just for the sake of a good pun; and of course Rosie’s babysitter had to be Molly or Mrs Hudson, god forbid it’s a man? Greg who?). Zero agency, zero character development. But the last straw had to be the I Love You scene. First of all, how is it possible that Molly is still in love with Sherlock? Honestly? They literally haven’t spoken to each other in months, it’s just not realistic. This is character regression. Secondly, she is just brought back so she can be humiliated. Again. I truly believe Moffat has a kink for getting praised by women and humiliating them in return. Talk about issues. What’s even worse is that she’s shown visiting 221B in the final episode, as if nothing happened. She’s expected to be humiliated by Sherlock again and again and forgive him every time.

Rosamund Mary Watson. I’ll just refer you back to these two metas, x and x, I wrote after T6T.

Eurus Holmes. Her depiction as the Mad Woman in the Attic is in itself problematic, and if you’re interested in reading more about this, please read @aherocanbeanyone‘s post about the depiction of mental illness in TFP. Also may I add something Beatrice pointed out in private: weird how the only Holmes sibling to be “mad” is the female one, uh? Her own character is inconsistent at best: she’s a mentally ill person, who has been locked up since childhood for murdering another human being, but in the end she just needed... a hug? So you’re either telling me Mr and Mrs Holmes are horrible, cruel parents who never showed affection to her daughter and/or intervened when they realised Euros was jealous of Sherlock and Victor’s relationship? Or her psyche is totally inconsistent and far-fetched. Moreover, when Sherlock hugs her and comforts her, she is once again saved by a man and has her agency wiped away - she’s unresponsive, doesn’t talk, etc. As Kaite Welsh said: “Although Euros in villain mode can be truly horrifying, at least she had power. At least she had agency. [...] Every woman on the show has been systematically defanged and no amount of Mrs. Hudson driving a sports car can erase that.” (x)

That being said, we can safely say Sherlock is a sexist show. Most episodes don’t even pass the Bechdel test, I think.

Now, onto my “bitterness about Johnlock not being canon”. The reason I’m angry that Johnlock was not canon, is that it made the whole series a prime example of queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is cruel and honestly, some of the people on here who believed the most are young queer fans who were really hurt by the way Mofftiss treated us. I don’t approve of the carrot and stick approach they used. They repeatedly insulted and disregarded the Johnlock community in interviews and peppered the show with gay jokes, but kept playing with the subtext and the fans. They exploited their queer fans, their resources and then revealed they actually don’t care at all. If they cared about us they would’ve followed through and made the subtext text. If they didn’t want this from the start, they shouldn’t have played with the feelings of queer youth just because it’s fun. But what’s wrong with an ambiguous ending, you ask? It’s cowardice and cruelty. By leaving the ending ambiguous they revealed that they care more about the money that the larger straight (and homophobic) audience can give them, than about the loyalty and respect of a smaller but dedicated group of fans, whose lives would’ve been changed by this kind of representation. I’m sorry but this is just plain evil.

And now last but not least: they’re mediocre writers at best. They rely heavily on illogical plot twists just for the shock value. They’re like architects that built a house with stained glass windows and a pool with a 30ft slide, but didn’t really bother with the foundation. The house is going to collapse eventually, no matter how pretty it is. The show may be exciting and shiny, but if you take a closer look you’ll notice so many plot holes and fortuitous coincidences. “You know what they say about coincidences? The universe is rarely so lazy.” But they are. Most plot lines are built on coincidences, chance, and far-fetched deductions that magically turn up to be correct. This has always been their modus operandi since day 1 (the suitcase has to be pink because the woman wears a pink coat? you do realise most women don’t have as much suitcases as they do coats, do you?) but it got worse with the seasons. The reason is that they bit off more than they could chew, wanted to build ever cleverer and more convoluted plot lines without being able to make them realistic and plausible. Season 4 was supposed to reference back to previous seasons, to tie up all loose ends, so be the overarching glue that kept all season together. It was obviously not, most characters were OOC and their character development made a sharp U Turn to FuckedUpVille. Also, they said that the big plot twist was something they hinted at throughout the series but they did not??? They literally introduced a new villain two episodes in with no other hint beforehand? Also, it’s pretty obvious they did NOT plan this ahead because this season is completely detached from the others plotwise. Well of course except for Moriarty, who we are expected to believe knew about Sherlock’s secret sister but did not use it against him? Because he’s what, kind-hearted?

They’re also pretty shitty at handling climaxes: all the climaxes in the show have deeply underwhelming resolutions that resolve absolutely nothing: Morairty has Sherlock and John at gunpoint? Ooops, phone call. Euros shoots John? Nah, tranquillizer. Reichenbach Fall? Who the fuck knows how he did it? Not them. What I mean is, they come up with a shocking scene where all hope seems to be lost, how will our hero survive? Cool, right? But they cannot come up with a decent answer to that question either, so they scramble up a (again, furtuitous) way to dodge the situation. That’s a sign of bad writing. If you can’t figure out how your hero survives, you should not write that scene.

But if they’re just plain incompetent, they do not deserve hate, right? They deserve to be explained their mistakes so that they can grow and become better writers! Wrong. We’re past constructive criticism, Moffat refuses to listen to criticism, he even sounds personally offended whenever someone says anything about his shows (x x). He’s just like a giant entitled toddler who needs a reality check. About Gatiss, I honestly to this day cannot wrap my head around what is up with him.

This is the end of my presentation on how much I hate Mofftiss. I’m sure I forgot something but I’ll add if it comes to mind. Anyway, Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss are sexist queerbaiting assholes, lame writers and horrible human beings. End of.

#sapphic-nd #mofftiss hate #sherlock #sherlock meta #reply #now i'm even more upset than before #mine

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didsbumeare-blog · 6 years ago

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Plenty of fish dating tips

Plenty of Fish Dating Tips: Intimate Encounters on Plenty of Fish Go to settings to easily customize these notifications. Writing a good message that doesn't get deleted, or ignored, is one of the most important parts of using Plenty of Fish successfully. Users with free membership can upload up to 8 profile pics. Paid Membership Plenty of Fish makes it possible for users to upgrade their account for more services. And if you are in fact being blocked then there is nothing you can do to change it except for deleting the account and starting over again, unfortunately. The only thing that happens is if you do get flagged as seeking intimate encounters then you get blocked by those women who purposely put those blocks up.

8 Plenty of Fish Dating App Tips You can quote it word-for-word or put your own spin on it. Clicking the delete sent messages bookmark. You can find her on Twitter and! And even if you choose to include a quote from a majorly popular show, book, or movie, it will have the same effect. If membership was purchased via an App, the subscription automatic renewal must be cancelled via the iTunes store or Google Play. How to Find Someone's Email Address on Plenty Of Fish To view the persons hash encrypted email address on Plenty Of Fish it appears, at the time of this writing, you have to be logged in to see this. Note: this post is part of the.

Is Plenty Of Fish (POF) Dating Good for HOOKING UP What I do find interesting is the second grouping of men who ended up on 1-3 dates from sending between 1-5 messages a day, which represent approximately 45 men of the 135 who send 1-5 messages a day. Share something random about yourself. Online dating sites are here to help you facilitate a meeting in-person to find out if you have real life chemistry. We understand that meeting someone for the first time whether online, through an acquaintance or on an outing is intriguing and exciting. It takes time for your heart, mind, and body to heal. It has received negative reviews for being a shallow pond, so to speak, where people go for one night stands or friends with benefits. Of course there are still a lot of guys putting in effort to send 1-5 emails per day and not getting anything out of it, which is definitely frustrating when looking into one's Plenty Fish inbox but from the little amount of data received from the guys sending out more than 10 emails per day, it does appear promising that increased frequency does indeed result in more dates.

Plenty Of Fish If your profile photos are poor quality, I guarantee your inbox will remain empty, regardless of the dating site. Anonymous I copy and paste the same extremely well written message to all the girls on pof. Also, I don't think that it would show or be obvious when you message any other girls. And lets face it weve all fucked a few skanks in our time. This may give you some insight into your own personality and relationship patterns.

Plenty of Fish Dating Tips If you both say Yes you are a mutual match and can start chatting. Search Videos by Username or Channel Name on YouTube com This page contains detailed, step by step instructions with images. The core of her philosophy is that self-love is the root of loving outwardly, and is therefore necessary to develop if one wishes to create fruitful relationships with others. I have needs, wants and desires and I don't care if someone else doesn't agree. I believe this has something to do with their algorithm. Even if things don't work out, keep it positive from start to finish. Are you a Jewish guy looking for a Jewish woman to settle down with? Zero Tolerance Policy The site takes offenses very seriously and has a zero tolerance policy for users who are married, make rude or offensive comments, and send inappropriate pictures.

The MOST Important Tips to Online Dating Success As I realized when I thoroughly read through her profile it turned out that she is looking for an intimate encounter. If your date pressures you, end the date and leave at once. The Plenty of Fish dating app can be a good way to get dates and even land a life-long relationship, but it can also be a very frustrating experience if you're a guy going about it all wrong. When sending messages, always be positive. Meet Me This functionality is similar to the swipe right or left method of viewing profiles make popular by Tinder.

Plenty Of Fish As with any free dating website, give it a try with a free account before going premium. She has gone out and slept with over 200 of her online dates! The website will ask for your basic info just to confirm that you are the owner. She must be an outlier, correct? This will give you the privacy you need, as your profile won't show up in search results or match suggestions. Around 70,000 new people join each day, and they offer dating services in the United States, Brazil, France, Spain, Germany, Italy, Denmark, Netherlands, Sweden and Mexico. Or maybe they know I sent a message to an intimate encounter person. So guess what - I've done at least one of these things and I am not ashamed to admit it. .

Plenty of Fish POF Review 2019 I have met a lot of nice people on line but did not feel the connection. This shows me that even guys who are willing to put in minimal effort of initiating contact on Plenty of fish have a decent shot of getting a date. Think you like tall dark handsome? This feature helps provide an easy way for people to bring the dating experience offline, where it can be easier to assess a connection held between two people. You then have to tell the software program where to insert these letters in the search engine search box. Profiles are detailed and users seem quite active on the site. You will have to fill out some personal information, like your ethnicity and gender, and create a username and password. After that, you just need to briefly describe which your interests are, your life expectations and what makes you unique.

Plenty of Fish Dating Tips: Intimate Encounters on Plenty of Fish The true test of whether you have chemistry…and you can only find this out when you meet face to face. If you want to take a break from plentyoffish. About the Author: Stephanie Arnold is a writer, visual artist and composer who seeks to unveil the working structures of the human psyche. On the actual Plenty of Fish dating website, not the app, I noticed in the past when I'd send lots of messages, my profile seemed to get more views too. Profiles also contact detail on your relationship history that is used behind the scenes for matchmaking. The site updates frequently with how many members are online; the average is usually around 470,000 users. An app is available for Apple and Android devices.

Plenty of Fish Dating Tips: Intimate Encounters on Plenty of Fish Though Anonymous posting is enabled, please use a first name even if it's fake so that it is easier to identify commentators when responding to them. And what kind of example would I set for my child if I did that? It talks about a recent trend of Intimate Encounters which the founder of Plenty of Fish, Markus Frind, noticed. This is definitely not the best way to score a date or make a connection, but the option is there if you are feeling lazy. It is important to be completely honest in these conversations. The messages should be interesting, mentioning something from their profile for proof you read it.

#6 #Tips #To #Write #the #Best #Plenty #of #Fish #Headline

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jitesblog · 6 years ago

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weight loss tips

Raw Weight Loss: Lose Weight with Love

I've never stopped to count the myriad ways in which people try to lose weight. There's dieting, of course, which ranges from the healthy (raw foods) to the absurd (cabbage soup, anyone?). There are supplements and pills, exercise videos and DVDs, health clubs and diet clubs, frozen and packaged meals, drastic surgery and many, many more ways to lose weight. Yet what each of these diets lack is one simple ingredient that can transform dieting from a weight loss chore into a new lifelong habit: love. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Victoria Moran, a well-known motivational speaker and writer, published a book called The Love-Powered Diet in which she advocates a vegetarian diet. She cites many reasons why such a diet falls under the heading of a love-powered diet. Eating low on the food chain and mostly plants demonstrates love for animals and for the planet. However, more importantly, when we fill our bodies with healthy, life-giving foods and stop abusing ourselves with food, we love ourselves, which fills the primary need in our lives. Many of us, however, do not demonstrate love for ourselves when we diet. We mentally beat ourselves up over eating something not on our food plans. We listen to the inner critic while stifling the inner cheerleader. We look in the mirror and see a fat person instead of a healthy person emerging from a cocoon made of extra weight. Losing weight with love means treating yourself with kindness and compassion. For some people, this feels awkward. Many of us are so used to the notion that only a tough, critical, judgmental attitude will change our behavior that we feel as if gentle words of encouragement are ineffective. It's as if we were all raised with a drill sergeant lodged in our subconscious! If the mental image of a drill sergeant barking orders at us or an inner critic constantly belittling our efforts really worked, most of us would be at our goal weights by now. Since when did yelling, scolding, or calling anyone names motivate good behavior? Think about it this way: would you talk to a child like that? Sometimes when I catch my own inner critic, I'm appalled at how I talk to myself. I think, "If I heard a mother in the store talking to her child like that, I'd consider it child abuse!" Approach your weight loss efforts with compassion, love and kindness. Applaud the small successes. If you're not comfortable with this approach, you may want to seek help from a counselor, minister, or coach who can lovingly guide you into new pathways. There is a better approach to weight loss than constant nagging and criticism. Love yourself and the weight loss will follow.

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The Pros and Cons of Weighing Yourself

I once worked for a woman who was truly obsessed with her weight. If her designer label suits grew even a tad bit too snug, she'd starve herself until she was back to her waif-like figure. She had a cartoon on the door of her office showing a girl weighing herself and begging the scale, "Please don’t make me cry today."I worked with another woman many years ago who had a different relationship with her bathroom scale. Eileen ate the same lunch every day: sandwich, bag of snack chips, piece of fruit. (Not a raw food lunch, but follow my example, won't you?) She used her scale for feedback. If she noticed her weight consisting going up by more than two pounds, she would immediately cut out her bag of snack chips at lunch. If that didn't work, she would cut her sandwich in half. That was all. Within a week or two and without much fuss and bother, her weight would be back to what she considered normal and all was well.One woman punished herself with starvation if the scale reported a certain number; another had a healthier attitude towards her weigh-in. The scale holds magical powers in the minds of some people, particularly women. Many people grow obsessed with the feedback they receive from their weigh-ins to the point when the scale dictates their mood.There are many pros and cons of weighing yourself with the traditional scale. On the plus side, weighing yourself weekly or monthly provides hard and fast feedback. Although your weight can bounce up or down a few pounds due to water retention or loss, over time the trend should remain stable for those maintaining their weight or move downwards slowly and steadily for those eating raw foods for weight loss.On the negative side is the obsession. I myself must be cautious and actually psyche myself up for weigh-ins. I have flashbacks to grammar school when the school nurse would line everyone up and announce our weight loudly to the school secretary sitting at the desk; how mortified we were until someone spoke to her and she realized that her attitude and actions caused many children to be teased. I know that if my weight has gone up more than usual, my mood can plunge and I want to comfort myself – ironically, with food.A long time ago, during a period in my life when I shed 30 pounds, I learned to use clothing as a barometer of weight loss. Jeans are great feedback tools because denim is less forgiving than say a pair of elastic-waist sweatpants. A snug pair of jeans growing looser each week means your weight loss efforts are on the right track!Right now, I have a sexy gray sheath dress hanging in my closet. It was my best dress for ages until 20 pounds crept onto my once-slender frame. Now I cannot even get it over my hips. I use that dress as both my motivation and my weight loss gauge. If the fabric fits a little looser each week or month, I know I am on the right track!How do you feel about weight loss? Eating raw foods for weight loss is a positive, nurturing step. Many people have lost weight and let their weight stabilize at its natural level by consuming delicious fresh and raw fruits and vegetables. Think about your own relationship to the scale and to weighing yourself, and decide for yourself which method (or perhaps another method) of gauging weight loss success is right for you. Remember, above all else, be kind and loving towards yourself. If the scale gives you nightmares or causes you to act like the woman I worked with who would starve herself if she gained an ounce, why do it? Why beat yourself up like that? Be kind, gentle and caring towards yourself…and put the scale in the closet if it's stopping you from loving yourself! best abs exercises for men love handles how to get rid of them Flat belly exercises tips

Journal for Success

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The mind plays tricks on us. We forget little things throughout the day. If we didn't, I suspect that even with its amazing memory power, our brains would get completely overloaded by all the sensory input. The problem for those striving to lose weight, however, is that these little slips of memory make us feel as if we're eating next to nothing yet still not losing weight. We may remember our nicely balanced lunch and dinner but forget about the handfuls of nuts we snacked on in between meals, or the amount of raw chocolate truffles consumed while watching television. One way to overcome this is to keep a weight loss journal. Weight Loss Journals for Success Writing down everything you consume and other details may seem time consuming, but if you find a journaling style that works for you it really takes only a few moments and can yield great insights. A small notebook such as an old-fashioned memo book (like the one you probably wrote your homework in as a child) can help you keep track of the basics. Write the date, the time, and what you ate. You can group foods by meals or simply write them down as you consume them. What to track is a personal preference. Many commercially printed weight loss diaries and charts have spaces to write down the number of glasses of water consumed, for example. I sip water all day long at my desk and typically keep a large pitcher of filtered water on hand at all times. It's a habit I picked up from a commercial weight loss program I followed years ago, but a healthy habit. I have no need to note that I drank eight glasses of water today – I've certainly exceeded that amount. Yet I do need to write down how hungry I am, and what my emotional state is when I reach for the food because of my long history of overeating from stress and emotional reasons. By noting my hunger level, for example, I remind myself to wait until I'm at an "8 out of 10" before reaching for a snack. A little tummy rumble at a 4 or 5 level of hunger on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being "I'm stuffed" and 10 being "I could eat a complete raw turnip I'm so hungry" means I need to wait a little bit longer before eating. Find a journaling style that works for you. There's no right or wrong way to do it. Some people recommend a big book, others a small one so it's portable. Write in pencil pen or crayon. Whatever works for you is fine! Free Online Programs There are also free online programs to help you track your calories and nutritional intake. They work fine for typical diets but have some limitations for raw food diets. Each food is entered separately, so if you eat an apple, you type in apple and most programs give you a choice of serving size. It works fine for simple raw foods like this, but complex raw dishes may be tricky to track and monitor. Give them a try if they appeal to you. The top two are SparkPeople.com and FitDay.com but there are many others. What You Can Learn What can you learn by journaling? I'm always amazed, first and foremost, when I look over my food diary at how easy it is to slip into food ruts. I find that I'll eat the same breakfast for a week then wonder why I'm bored. It's not healthy to eat the same thing day in and day out. It may be convenient and safe, but our bodies need a wide variety of foods for optimal health. Journals can reveal eating patterns and ruts that may be hindering your weight loss effort. Another way that journals can help is to pinpoint sneaky calories in foods. Raw foods aren't calorie-free foods. If you're new to a raw, living food diet, you may find yourself reaching for high fat raw foods such as nuts and nut butters to mimic the same full feeling you got from cooked foods. By writing down what you're eating and looking at it weekly, you can discover sneaky, hidden sources of calories.

Getting Back on Track

If your holiday season was filled with too much merry-making, it's time to get back on track! Don't waste a single moment beating yourself up (mentally, of course) for not adhering to your raw food weight loss program. Refocus, breathe, and get back on track! Why It's Hard to Get Back on Track Physically and mentally, it can be difficult to return to your pre holiday eating habits. Why?

Physically, if you've gone off your eating plan and nibbled on processed foods, cooked foods, sugar and flour filled foods, or sipped alcoholic drinks during the holiday season, you've reintroduced many addictive foods back into your diet. As any addict will tell you, one sip is too much and one bite is too much. It tends to reignite cravings. To counter the cravings, it may be helpful to go on a raw juice fast for one or several days. Drinking fresh, pure, filtered or ionized alkaline water and raw juice drinks made from juices such as carrot, beet, cucumber, celery and other cleansing vegetables can help your body 'reset' to its pre holiday state. Mentally, many holiday treats are comfort foods. Special cookies or cooked dishes that only your family makes, for examples, can bring back comforting memories. It's natural to yearn for that comfort time and time again. It's important to recognize, however, that food brings no comfort in and of itself.

Perhaps there's something else that evokes comforting memories that's not food related? I have a childhood story book in my office that always evokes comforting memories for me. It's battered beyond belief, but when I need a bit of comfort, I open to the pretty illustrations.

I'm immediately back snuggled in my bed while my mother reads to me. Inside my head, I'm back in a warm, safe zone. I don't need a donut to make me feel that way – I just need something comforting to trigger that memory, and my blue story book does that for me. What can you find that will evoke similar comfort feelings without the food? (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Rethink Resolutions So many magazine articles are filled with ideas for weight loss resolutions. Instead of weight loss resolutions, take each day as it comes. Make today your focus for weight loss and progress on your raw food journey. You can dream as much as you like about slimming down, but that magic moment comes only after many days of individual work. Have you ever completed a major project, such as writing a big paper for school, a doctoral dissertation, a project for work, building a house, even having a child? None of those happy moments occurred in one day. A house is built one brick at a time, one day at a time. A child is conceived on one day, but takes many weeks of daily growth and development before he's ready to be born, and then he continues to grow and develop for the rest of his natural life! You too are on a journey. You can build your future, one day at a time, starting today.

Keeping Holiday Weight Gain Away

I once read that the average person gains 5 pounds over the holiday season. Another friend of mine, an amazing woman who lost over 100 pounds and has kept the weight off for many years, calls this time of year the "Triple Crown of Eating", starting with Halloween candy and moving through New Year's Eve festivities. Depending on where you are in your raw food journey, you may be just starting to embrace this new way of eating, or you may have been eating 100% raw for many years. If you're in the latter camp, you probably have little to worry about with holiday weight gain. Although I suppose it's possible to overindulge in raw cacao and coconut truffles, refraining from sugar and alcohol is half the battle to keep calories at bay – and in those areas, most raw vegans are fine. For everyone else standing somewhere on this road we call the raw and living foods journey, the holiday season offers many temptations and opportunities for weight gain. It also offers the opportunity to refocus our celebrations from food to friends, family and faith, if we so choose – calorie free, joy-filled ways to celebrate the season. Tips to Keep Weight Gain Away • Focus on three of the four F's: There are four F's of the holidays: faith, family, friends and food. Focus on the first three and you'll naturally walk away from the fourth. At parties and gatherings, spend time talking to people and catching up. If you feel awkward without a plate of food in your hand, carry a glass of water. Listening is more important than eating. • Stay active and exercise: It's cold outside. There are fewer hours of daylight. Plus there are more activities to pack into each day. But no matter what, keep moving. Even if it means marching in place in front of the television at night instead of laying on the couch and watching a movie, keep moving. Movement makes you feel better, keeps your muscles toned, and burns calories. Don't let the business of the holidays keep you from exercising. • Avoid alcohol: Some people eating a raw food diet continue to drink alcohol. There are organic, unpasteurized wines available, but do you really need the extra calories? Alcohol can also lower inhibitions and make it easier to snack on all the unhealthy foods you're trying to avoid. Stay away from alcoholic drinks this holiday season and avoid empty calories. • Remember, it's just one meal or party: People often eat at holiday meals as if they've never seen food before. Remember, it's just one meal! You'll eat again tomorrow, so don't overindulge today. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up if you slip up and have a cookie or two or a holiday dish. Simply move on. Celebrate the successes in your life, enjoy time with family and friends, and embrace your holiday traditions with love and reverence.

Avoiding Temporary Weight Gain

It's the start of the most wonderful time of the year…the holidays! With family gatherings, office parties, school parties, and so many opportunities to overindulge, many people struggle with weight gain during the holidays. Hopefully as someone who enjoys the raw and living food diet you'll avoid most of the calorie-laden temptations, such as eggnog and alcoholic drinks, but if you've overindulged a bit too much in even raw, vegan treats, and you find your pants tough to zip up, don’t despair. You may be dealing with temporary weight gain.

Temporary Weight Gain Temporary weight gain can be caused by many factors. Whenever we eat or drink differently from our normal way of living, additional sugar, fat, and salt can cause the body to retain water or temporarily gain a pound or two. Additionally, when you eat a large, heavy meal such as Thanksgiving dinner, the food may take a little longer to digest than normal, leading to a temporary gain of a pound or two in just a day. Rest assured that this gain is only temporary. If you weigh yourself every day, you'll quickly drive yourself crazy trying to guess why today you're up a pound or two and tomorrow you're down a pound or two. Try weighing yourself once a week if you're trying to lose weight and once a month if you're maintaining. In reality, your clothing gives you enough feedback to let you know when you're overindulged one too many times. While a temporary pound or two weight gain shouldn't make your jeans feel tight, a gain of five pounds or so will, and that may be more permanent than you'd like it to be! Stay on Track During the Holidays With all the parties, gathering, food gifts and special treats out there during the holiday season, it may be tough to stay on track. Try some of these tips to keep holiday weight gain at bay: • Emphasize activities rather than food: Remember that "holidays" comes from the word "holy days". The original meaning of the word indicated a special day set apart to worship, honor and recognize the true meaning of the day. Try emphasizing the meaning behind the holiday rather than the trappings and trimming. Go to a Christmas Eve concert or visit a nursing home to cheer up the elderly. Visit the skating rink with your children, watch a tree lighting ceremony, or rent all those old holiday movies you love. When the emphasis is on fun rather than food, you'll find yourself eating less and enjoying more. • Bring raw foods to gatherings: Yes, you can tactfully bring your own raw food choices with you to family parties and even office holiday potlucks. Bring a tray of raw vegetables and dip, a healthy green salad, or even a yummy raw dessert. Who knows, you might just pique the interest of someone who asks you for the recipe! • Exercise more: You know the rule of thumb – exercise more, eat less. Sorry, but that rule doesn't change during the holidays! You've still got to move. So get out there and continue whatever you love doing – walking, skating, bicycling. If it's too cold to work out in the great outdoors, how about exploring indoor exercise options you've always wanted to try? Take a dance class, t'ai chi, karate, or yoga. Rent an exercise video or DVD and try something new inside. Who knows, you may find a new past time you love! • Choose wisely: If you do indulge, choose your indulgences carefully. Choose something and take one bite. There's something called the law of diminishing returns, which simply means that with each bite, you get less pleasure. One or two bites may be enough to satisfy you. • Be kind to yourself: And remember, even if you do put on a pound or two during the holidays, it's never a good idea to beat yourself up. After all, if you're not kind to yourself, who will be? Pretend you're faced with a recalcitrant child. Would you scream, yell and threaten the child if they did something wrong? Hopefully not! You'd probably tell them what they did wrong and show them the way to do it right, offering praise for each step taken in the right direction. Try this tactic on yourself and see what a difference kindness makes. While the rest of the crowd may be packing on the pounds this holiday, you can avoid holiday weight gain – even temporary holiday weight gain. If you do find yourself gaining a bit, cut back a little, work out more, and monitor food choices carefully. But most of all, find a way to enjoy this magical time of year…and be good to yourself.

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When You're Happy and You Know It – You Show It

So often we think that when we lose weight, we'll be happy. What if by becoming happy, you lose weight?It's true. When you're happy, you tend to feel positive, radiant and joyful. If you've been using food to comfort yourself, suppress anger or other emotions, or as a crutch to avoid feeling painful stuff, dealing with the emotional issues may help you shed those unwanted pounds. Come On, Get Happy!If you truly have some deep-seated problem, are mourning a major loss, or dealing with buried emotional trauma, seek out a qualified psychotherapist, psychiatrist or other mental health counselor to help you work through the emotions facing you. You don't have to deal with it alone. Twelve step groups, support groups, and religious organizations also offer counseling for free or a nominal fee. For many people, however, it's not some major lurking fear or life trauma that keeps them from feeling happy. It's simple thought patterns so deeply engrained that they play over and over again, reinforcing negative moods and behaviors.Emotions impact so much – our health, beauty, attitude, and yes, even our weight. So come on – get happy! You have only the present moment. Start today. Changing Mental MindsetsThere are probably as many mental mindsets that cause unhappiness as there are people in the world. But a few immediately come to mind that typically cause unhappiness. Do you suffer from any of these?• Comparing yourself to others: Shakespeare called jealousy the "green eyed monster" and indeed, this monster will eat you alive. Comparing yourself to others is a futile effort. You only see the outside of people. Sometimes people's outsides don't match their insides! Someone may look super thin, beautiful, trim and fit but on the inside they're a wreck. Someone else may drive that car you've always wanted or live in the house with the white picket fence that you thought should be yours but have an unhappy marriage. The truth is, everyone has his share of problems, pains and joys. Embrace who you are and what you have. Stop comparing yourself to others!• Impatience: We want it and we want it now! Being impatient, either with yourself or others, is a recipe for disaster. Always yearning for something that will happen tomorrow makes you forget to enjoy the beauties of today.• Fear: There's a reason Yoda told Luke Skywalker that fear led to the dark side – it does! Fear opens the door to hundreds of emotions that sap the joy right out of life. If fear becomes all-pervasive, it can lead to problems such as anxiety disorder, panic attacks and phobias. Learn to be HappyWhile some people seem naturally joyful, others need to learn how to be happy. If you fall into the latter camp, here are some ways to increase your daily happiness quotient. Think of it like a prescription for success!• Write a gratitude list. From something as simple as feeling grateful for the warm sun on your face to the birthday card you received from someone you love, start by listing 25 things you are grateful for today. Increase that until you're up to 100. Chances are you've got more to be thankful for than you know!• Change a negative thought to the opposite: A smile is a frown turned upside down. Turn your negative thoughts upside down to improve mood. A negative thought such as, "It's raining outside and I hate rainy days" can be transformed into, "It's raining outside, making the house seem nice and cozy." • Watch what you say. While it's important to talk about real problems, constantly complaining magnifies problems. Complaining about every little thing makes the world seem a darker place. Nip it in the bud and let thankfulness rise to your lips instead of complaints.• Affirmations can change a mental mindset. These short, positive statements can be taken from books, articles, or you can write your own. "I choose to be happy." "I love myself." "I approve of myself" are all affirmations that tend to make your mood upbeat.Change Your Mindset, Shift the ScaleWhile improving your mood won't guarantee weight loss, it's amazing how many people lose weight after a divorce or leaving a job they hate. They may not have been aware of eating for comfort during a time when they faced daily emotional turmoil. Perhaps working on happiness will help you shed some unwanted pounds. It's worth trying. As they say in 12 step programs, "If it doesn't work, your misery will be cheerfully refunded!"

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Breaking the Habit of Nighttime Eating

Step One: Recognize the Habit The first step to break the habit of nighttime eating is to recognize that you do it. While at first this may seem obvious, many people are unaware that they are snacking at night, or they don't realize it's a problem. Think about your daily routine. When do you typically like to snack? Are you a three meal a day type of person or a grazer? Grazers like to have a little something every few hours. If you're a grazer, you may have gotten so much into the habit of constantly snacking that you don't even realize you're eating at night. Step Two: Decide on an Approach Some people like to jump in right away and immediately try a new habit. That's fine, but what works for some might not work for others. Some people fail on a 'cold turkey' approach and prefer a gradual transition. The key is to identify your approach and make up your mind to stick with it. It's amazing how once you make up your mind to do something, you'll feel motivated to continue. Step Three: Start Today

Step Three may be the hardest for some people. Start today. Don't wait until tomorrow, when you have a day off or you're not so tired. Try it tonight. If you fail and hit the kitchen for a snack after supper, don't beat yourself up. Just try again tomorrow night. For those who are gradually cutting back on their nighttime eating, make a vow that if you have a snack, you will have something raw and healthy. A raw green smoothie or a raw sweet treat (many recipes for these are on RawPeople.com) is a healthy snack your body will appreciate. Fresh seasonal fruit also makes a delightful snack. For those craving salty or crunchy snacks, raw kale chips or dehydrated veggie chips have a delightful crunch. Step Four: Adjust Your Meal Time If you can, adjust your dinner time so that you aren't eating a big, heavy meal at dusk or after dark. While this may not be possible due to work hours for some, for those who have more flexibility in their schedules it's helpful to eat during daylight. Be sure that you're eating enough to feel satisfied, too. It's not good for your body to starve all day then gorge at night. That's a trap many people fall into, but it doesn't help you lose weight. Evenly spaced out, regular raw food meals or healthy meals are best to keep you satisfied and well fed. Substitution

To break a bad habit, it helps to have a good habit to fall back on - or at least a fun activity! If eating while you watch television is a problem, how about taking up something that occupies your hand, such as a craft or hobby? Knitting, crocheting, counted cross stitch, even a small handheld game or jigsaw puzzle keeps your hands occupied. Do you crawl into bed and feel very hungry as you try to fall asleep? It's probably habit. Drink water. Repeat a word or phrase over and over to yourself to distract the craving monster from his assault on your sanity. Unconscious Eating There's a rare eating disorder in which people actually wake up, leave their beds, walk down to the kitchen and eat in their sleep or wake up to find themselves gorging. Called Nocturnal Eating Syndrome, it's now recognized as a mental health issue.

Extremes That Hurt Progress: Overeating and Undersleeping

Two extremes that plague modern society may actually be contributing to the rise in debilitating illnesses: overeating and undersleeping. These two natural activities that should be simply matters of instinct have become so twisted in the modern world that people are constantly abusing their bodies through neglect. Overeating Our bodies were designed by nature to exist on a diet of mostly plant-based foods. Our hunter-gatherer ancestors ate seasonal, natural, raw foods. They gathered fruit and plants from the fields and snacked on nuts and seeds. Think about today's modern man. Instead of roaming the fields and forests, he's roaming the shopping mall or office park. Instead of picking ripe fruit from the tree, he's picking up a large coffee to go and a cinnamon bun from the food court. Instead of ingesting natural fruit sugars, vitamins, minerals, fiber and enzymes that nurture the body, he's kicking his adrenals into dumping more hormones out through stimulants like caffeine and sugar to keep him revved for his late night meetings and movie date. Is it any wonder we're all sick – and tired? Overeating takes its toll on the body in many ways: • We tend to overeat on processed foods – fast food, sugar, white flour, packaged products. None of these foods are good for us. They provide calories and inadequate nutrition. They flood our bodies with chemicals that must be removed, further stressing our overtaxed systems. • We eat all day and night, never giving our digestive systems a break. The pancreas, adrenals, liver, stomach, intestines and more are constantly in use. • We eat too many calories, and the extra energy is stored as fat throughout the body. Fat is also a storehouse for chemicals. The more fat we have, the more chemicals we may have stored throughout the body, which can have adverse affects. • The heavier our bodies, the less likely we are to move and get healthy exercise. This only leads to feeling more tired and gaining more weight. • Higher body weight is linked with higher rates of diabetes, some types of cancer, and many other diseases. Eating Raw Foods Counteracts Overeating Eating raw foods counteracts overeating naturally. It's difficult if not impossible to eat too many calories on a raw food diet especially if the diet is based on fruits and vegetables (instead of nuts, seeds and oils, which can indeed be calorie-dense). Eating fruits and vegetables to the point of satiety rarely fills the body with more calories than it needs. Following natural cycles of eating also reduces obesity. By eating during daylight hours only, we reduce the number of hours available to eat. We also follow our body's natural cycles of digestion, elimination, and assimilation. Adequate Sleep and Health Today's modern lifestyle seems to shun sleep as a luxury. "I'll sleep when I'm dead" used to be a saying on Wall Street and the power canyons of Manhattan, meaning that people would work until all hours of the night to get ahead with their careers. Unfortunately, too little sleep may indeed lead to premature aging and death! The body needs its down time to rest, refresh and restore. Most adults need seven to nine hours of sleep every night. Few people get this much rest and instead try to exist on five hours or so of sleep each night. This can lead to chronic sleep deficits. Many people try to make up for this deficit on the weekends by sleeping late, but the body can only make up so much. Over time, too little sleep may impact cognitive function and heart health. Natural Cures: Follow Natures Patterns Nature is indeed the best teacher when it comes to health. Following the natural patterns of sunshine and moonlight to guide us when to eat and sleep are turning out to be powerful natural prescriptions. You may want to try: • Eat only during daylight hours • Focus on raw fruits and vegetables for filling, nutritious foods • Rest when the moon is out. Cut down on late-night television and computer use, which stimulates the brain and glands and creates a false sense of wakefulness, making it more difficult to fall asleep. • Kick the habit of using caffeine early in the day to rouse yourself and sleep aids, even natural sleep aids such as herbs, at night. • Allow your body at least seven to nine hours of sleep each night. • If you can, get rid of your alarm clock and sleep and rise when your body tells you it needs to. Natural cycles of eating, sleeping and elimination follow the master plan for health. Incorporate these small steps daily into your life for a healthy, supportive living.

Eating According to Nature's Cycles

As someone interested in the power and promise of raw foods, you're probably interested in natural health and healing too. Our bodies evolved over thousands of year based on the climate, geography and conditions in which our ancestors lived. These ancestors didn't have access to clocks to tell time, nor did they have refrigerated food, packaged goods, and 24/7 convenience stores. Our Bodies Evolved on the Pattern of Light and Darkness Our ancestors rose with the dawn and lay down to sleep when the stars peeked out from the veil of heaven. Light dictated their natural rhythms. While they had fires, candles, torches and lanterns to light the way, these conveniences were expensive and time consuming. The wealthy and powerful could use candles to enjoy evening soirees. For the majority of people, natural light from the sun guided their daily rhythm. History Confirms this Pattern Eating too followed seasonal and cyclical patterns. Until approximately a century ago, people in America and Europe generally ate two meals a day: breakfast and dinner. Breakfast was consumed between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. and consisted of a hearty and by today's standards, heavy meal.

Dinner was served in the early afternoon, sometime between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m, and was the second major meal of the day. If additional food was served, a light meal in the evening before sunset was the norm. Thomas Jefferson Lived into His Eighties and Followed This Pattern A recent tour of Monticello, the home of the great Thomas Jefferson in Charlottesville, Virginia, underscored this fact. The tour guide described Jefferson's typical day: "He rose at dawn, bathed in cold water, worked on correspondence until approximately 10 a.m, then took his first meal of the day. It usually consisted of bread, cheese, wine diluted with water and fruit in season.

Then he worked until approximately early afternoon, when he had exercise time. Exercise time consisted of horseback riding or walking the grounds of Monticello. After exercise time came family time when he played with his many grandchildren. Then the family dined together.

Jefferson's major meals consisted of vegetables, bread, and some meat to flavor the vegetables, but he treated meat as a condiment rather than a main dish. If he ate anything else, the family had sweets, tea and fruit later in the evening." Can you imagine a family today eating so little? Jefferson's day at Monticello sounds like an ideal mix of intellectual pursuits, social and family time, exercise, and adequate rest. And although not a vegetarian, Jefferson ate differently from his contemporaries, relying upon the prodigious variety of fruits and vegetables from Monitcello for sustenance. It's no wonder that he lived well into his eighties. How to Eat Naturally In the past 20 years, the rate at which obesity and lifestyle related diseases has skyrocketed. Not surprisingly, according to Paul Nison, a raw food expert, this coincides with the dietary advice to eat small, frequent meals. The problem with this advice is that most people forget the word 'small' and instead graze all day, eating 5 to 11 times throughout the course of the day. Our bodies weren't meant to eat constant big, heavy, cooked meals. Instead, Nison gives this advice to eat according to nature's cycles: • Eat during daylight hours only. The sun gives energy and life, and our bodies are suited to process the energy from food when the sun is shining. So eat when it's light outside, or approximately from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. • Allow your body to rest when the moon is out. Our bodies cleanse at night. Eating in the evening, before bed, or during the night puts stress on the body's natural cleansing cycles. Avoid any foods in the evening. • Eat adequate amounts during the day so you're not starving and tempted to graze at night. Eating more whole foods during the day is a great way to fill the body with nutrients during the time of day when it can process them effectively. Nison recommends a three phrase approach to eating that follows natural cycles. The three phrases are: • Phase 1: Eat only when it's light out. Get out of the habit of nighttime eating. • Phase 2: Eat only between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. This allows the body plenty of time to assimilate foods and cleanse. • Phase 3: Eat only two meals a day. This may be the hardest for most people, but Nison believes that our bodies naturally need nourishment only twice a day. Eating adequate amounts of fresh, raw and whole foods ensures proper nutrition and satisfies hunger. Our bodies evolved not on a clock schedule, but on the natural cycles of light and darkness, day and night. Following natural cycles makes sense and brings us not only greater health, but greater harmony with our surroundings.

Sugar Detoxification: Raw Food Snack Ideas

When you're at home, you have the luxury of a full kitchen and an open schedule. When you're hungry, you can simple pad into the kitchen and grab a nice shiny red apple from the bowl on the counter or grab some raw snacks from the fridge. But when you're on the go – back to school, at work, or just the hustle and bustle of every day life – you need snacks on the go.

And while it may seem difficult, raw food snacks are simply a matter of planning. You don't plan to snack on Cheetos because you're so used to grabbing a shiny, crinkly bag of orange colored things off the 7-11 shelf that it seems easier than remembering to pack a few pieces of fruit in your purse. But with a bit of attention, you can eat raw on the go. Fruit Fruit is a godsend for those who crave sweets. If you typically snacked on sugar-filled foods, one way to continue your transition off of sugary desserts is to keep yourself well supplied with fruit. Here are suggestions for fruits that travel well in the car, to school, or to work. Pack a few napkins and a bag for cores and peels. • Apples: Apples are your friends. They're tough and can take a bit of a beating, although you don't want them too beaten up. You can grab a few and stuff them into your briefcase, purse or a backpack. They don't need refrigeration or peeling. Best of all, they won't leak juice all over your stuff. Don't be afraid to pack several if you'll be out of the house for a few hours; much on them, and include a small bag in your car or purse for the cores so you can discard them properly. • Oranges: While a bit messier than apples, they also travel well. Peeling an orange can be difficult when away from home. If you don't have a knife and you don't want to use your fingernails, wash a paperclip and bend it open; use the pointy end to make a hole in the orange skin so you can get a grip on it and peel it. • Pears: Their tender skin makes pears a bit iffy to transport, but tougher skinned varieties like Bosc (brown skinned) stand up better to travel. • Plums: Summertime wouldn't be the same without purple plums. Choose a few that are on the harder side to prevent squishing during transportation. • Peaches and Nectarines: More juicy goodness, but same problems as plums – make sure you transport them in a bag, and bring napkins! • Grapes: Grapes are a great portable snack. Seedless grapes travel well. Pack bags of them for your children, too. They're a healthy snack kids love. Dried fruits are great in a pinch too. Raisins are very healthy and easy to find in most convenience stores. Prunes, dates, and dried cranberries and cherries also make health treats. Vegetables As you continue your sugar detoxification you may find that even a sweet piece of fruit sets off cravings for white sugar. Fortunately, vegetables transport easily too. Wash, peel and slice carrots, celery, cucumber, broccoli, pepper strips and cauliflower; all transport well. No drips, no mess, and they satisfy that urge for a solid crunch when you need it! Nuts and Seeds Raw almonds, cashews, walnuts and more…yum! Pack a small supply for days when you need energy and won't have time to stop. While calorie dense, they provide great nutrition, healthy fats, fiber, and protein. Water Take water with you wherever you go. Fill your bottle at home from an ionize alkaline water machine or at least your filtered tap water. Keeping well hydrated will also keep hunger pangs and temptation at bay when you're shopping at the mall, volunteering for your school mom duty, or watching your son's baseball game. It's All About Planning You can be the typical person and rush out of the house in the morning without thinking about what you eat and drink and succumbing to all sorts of temptations later in the day. Or, you can embrace a raw and living foods lifestyle and plan some simple, easy on the go snacks.

The choice is yours. It probably takes as much energy, if not more, to decide which fast food restaurant you'll eat at when you're shopping than if you took a few moments at home to pack your snack. Decide now to embrace a new, healthier lifestyle – and choose raw foods to go!

Judging Ourselves by Others

One thing most people fall prey to at one time or another in their lives is judging themselves by others. Maybe it's hardwired into us. Maybe it's taught when we're young children and Mom or Dad tell us to be nice like Suzy or smart like John. Who knows? What's important is recognizing when this happens and short circuiting it to keep ourselves on the path to success. The Sneaky Inner Critic

People following a raw food lifestyle or embracing holistic practices are no exception to this. Perhaps an intriguing story like Angela Stokes' personal testimonial of how she lost 162 pounds on a raw food diet attracted you to this way of living in the first place. Now as you reach your third month of changing to a raw food diet, you find that the scale has barely budged and you're not the svelte, happy, energetic person you thought you'd be at this point in the journey.

"But if Angela did it, why can't I?" That's when the ever-helpful inner critic begins whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

"Perhaps you're not trying hard enough."

"You're not as good as she is." "You're just lazy and fat." And so on.

The inner critic says thing we wouldn't let ourselves say to others. In fact, we probably wouldn't scold a pet using words like this. Yet on and on the Critic babbles, sometimes as a constant murmur in the back of our minds but mostly resting on the waters of the unconscious and lapping just at the shores of consciousness. Look to Others for Inspiration, Not Comparison Raw food testimonials are in the public arena for a reason. They're meant to motivate and inspire others to join the crusade for a healthier, happier lifestyle. When the inner critic picks them up to use as a stick to beat you up with, it's time to remember a few things. You are: • Unique. No one has ever existed like you, and no one in the future will ever be like you. Even if science cloned you, your clone would have different life experiences and consequently be a different person. Think about that for a moment. • Special. This flows from the concept of being unique. If you're unique it stands to reason that you are quite different from everyone else. Consequently your journey through the raw and living foods lifestyle will be different from anyone else's. You may have food allergies or sensitivities. You may crave sweet or salty foods. You have a certain metabolism and genetic makeup that affects your weight loss. Comparing yourself to others is futile. • Loveable. This may sound like a strange note to end upon, but go back and read the inner critic dialogue again. You are a person worthy of dignity and respect, not abuse. While you can't control what others say and do around you, you can change the voice of the inner critic. Affirmations, positive imagery, and filling your mind with uplifting and inspiring thoughts is a much better way to support yourself than beating yourself up with comparisons to others. Love yourself first and everything becomes much easier. Nothing Happens Overnight While we may all daydream once in a while about winning the lottery, even millionaires didn't get their money overnight (inherited wealth doesn't count). They had to work day by day towards building their business, investing their money, and making wise choices.

So too a raw and living foods lifestyle doesn't happen overnight. Once in a while you'll find testimony from someone who was able to transition smoothly and quickly, but for the majority of folks, it's a daily step by step process. It can take up to five years to become fully raw, and that's okay.

Ever little change you make – every step in the journey – adds to your health and wholeness. Start today. Outwit the inner critic. Take your first step now.

Lifestyle Changes Versus Dieting

We've all seen those celebrity diets – you know, the diet programs in which celebrities eat only prepackaged foods, or diet shakes, or special snack bars. They drop 50 pounds, shimmy into a skin tight little black dress, and look spectacular for the trip down the red carpet.

Next thing you know they're on Oprah's couch bemoaning gaining back the 50 plus 25.

What happened to these people? They went on a diet. You're not going on a diet, even if it is called the raw food diet. You're making lifestyle changes…changes that will last you a lifetime! Dieting Mentality The dieting mentality is famous, or perhaps infamous. The mental self-talk or the constant chatter in your head when you have a dieting mentality goes something like this: "Well, I really, really want that slice of pecan pie…but I'm on a diet…so I guess I won't have it…but next week when I reach my goal weight, I can have the pie…oh yeah maybe I'll eat the whole pie…and then get some ice cream for it…and I haven't had chocolate in a while…." And so on, until you've gradually worn away your last remaining shred of will power and motivation. Instead, you've installed a little switch, like a light switch. Your brain will flip that switch the day the scale hits your goal weight or you reach the magic day when you go "off" of your diet. Lifestyle Change Mentality Now contrast this with the inner chatter of someone who has more of a lifestyle change mentality. "Well, I really, really want that slice of pecan pie…but I know that sugar isn't good for me…and I love how I feel when I eat raw foods…I have so much energy now…my skin is clearer…I feel lighter, happier….I never felt that way on the pecan pie…I'm going to pass on that and have some fruit instead." Do you see the difference? Because the second person is in it for the long haul, she's focusing on all the wonderful aspects of eating raw. She's remembering how she feels. That's something she wants to keep for a long time to come – energy, healthy, glowing skin, a new attitude. She want this for keeps. She can pass the momentary pleasure of eating a slice of pie for the long-term pleasure of looking and feeling good. An Unfolding Process

Changing from a dieting mentality to a lifestyle mentality takes time. Give yourself credit and praise for taking baby steps towards lifestyle changes. Going out for a walk instead of watching television, eating fruit instead of sugar-filled treats, and enjoying a healthy raw food dinner rather than cooked fast food are wonderful steps you've taken for your health and well being. Continue your good work. Soon, eating raw will feel so natural, you'll hardly believe this was once new to you!

What to do When you Slip Up!

Talk to people who have tried to make major health changes, whether it's quitting smoking, starting an exercise program, or eating a raw food diet, and they'll all say the same thing. There are times when even the strongest will power fails. They slip up.

Why is it that when you start something positive, like changing to a raw food diet, that you're full of energy and enthusiasm – but somehow along the way, you lose that drive and determination? Food Can Be Addictive Throughout these articles on detoxification, we've mentioned that detoxifying from white sugar, flour, and caffeine are usually the hardest substances to wean oneself off of during the transition to a raw food diet. There are many reasons for this, but one reason that most people overlook is that quite simply, these substances are addictive.

Sugar is addictive? But we feed it to kids at Halloween! Gorging on candy is a child's rite of passage.

Sugar is actually highly addictive. According to William Duffy in his famous book Sugar Blues, sugar forms the same addictive pathways in the brain as hard drugs such as heroin! Yet on the Standard American Diet (SAD), a donut and sweet coffee are morning fare.

Detoxifying from such a highly addictive, insidious food can be quite difficult. In addition to the strong physical hold it has on the body, the pleasant emotions associated with sugar are equally strong. It takes a while to detoxify from it. Often too, it sneaks back in through a food we think is safe. Sugar can be a hidden ingredient in many foods and once ingested after detoxifying from it, it can trigger a whole cascade of cravings for equally unhealthy foods, all things that can under mine your best efforts at detoxification. Old Habits Die Hard This may be a cliché, but clichés always came from truth. It is difficult to break habits. Experts tell us that it takes 21 days to break a bad habit and instill a new one, but experience demonstrates that it may take longer for some people than for others. If habit has undermined your detoxification efforts and cooked, junky foods found their way back into your diet, it's important to identify the habits and thoughts that led to the slip. Keeping a food diary, in which you record all the foods you've eaten, the time of day, and what you're feeling when you eat the foods, may help you pinpoint exactly what happened to derail your detoxification efforts.

New Attitude

Many people beat themselves up when they slip up. Don't! You're a human being and it is hard to make changes, even positive, healthy ones like changing to a raw food diet. If you've slipped up… • DO go back to eating raw foods – don't allow one slip to turn into a slide (or an avalanche!) • DO begin keeping a food journal or diary so you have something written down to help you pinpoint hidden trigger foods or situations that can derail your progress • DO give yourself time to detoxify again if you've eaten a lot of something unhealthy. While it probably won't take as long to detoxify, you will still need to readjust. Give yourself credit for honesty and perseverance. Here's another cliché to keep in mind: if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. It's probably what your parents told you when you were learning to ride a bike, swim in the deep part of the swimming pool, or roller skate. And it's what you need to tell yourself to get your detoxification back on track after a slip.

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jeparlelibremente · 6 years ago

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Study Habits

If my thinking at times, as I’ve exploded into violent outrage and vitriol directed at some therapist, is, “I should have good grades, my IQ is [X], fuck everything and everyone, you’re all beneath me just give me what I want or else” then you could say I’m a narcissist. And you’d be correct. Or close to, anyway. Not a narcissist per se, but possessed of greater than usual narcissistic defence mechanisms. We may all have them to some extent, it’s just a question of how far the dial moves; are we going from a healthy and acceptable 1-2 of coping mechanisms, or are we going all the way to 11 where reality itself constantly singes our ego? Holding narcissistic delusions of grandeur may keep you happy in the short term, and they will definitely hold off aspects of reality you find painful to deal with currently, but fantasies are just that: fantasies. Please note that when Daedalus swung to hit the ball out of the park, he ignited and hit mother Gaia at terminal velocity. No fantastical delusion, no matter how elaborately constructed, is going to keep you from death. It will certainly constrain your potential.

For the longest time I had terrible grades. All my behaviour was avoidant. If I was set homework, I would simply not do it. If it was an assignment that contributed to the final grade for a subject, I would quibble with, and then finally demand, an extension from the teacher. I would find reasons why the homework, the syllabus, the teachers themselves, fellow students, were beneath me and worthy of contempt. When I saw students I considered beneath me (= not as ‘smart’ where smart is whatever I considered it to be, rate of pattern matching?) get good grades, I would use this as a further excuse to denigrate the educational system and its artefacts. Unconsciously: this was all evidence that I Am Greater Than The System. And of course it was. This is the great trick your unconscious pulls: the ability to interpolate the curve through the points to construct the narrative that eases your pain the most.

But I was horribly depressed. Freud et al. wrote extensively about unconscious tension, and other writers use what I believe is a more damaging turn of phrase: you cannot lie to yourself. Possibly you can, but the psyche of an individual like this beyond my ability to effectively empathise with. I understand, as a matter of fact, that narcissists exist that do indeed kill other people over narcissistic injuries. It’s just that if I even think about holding a gun, I feel sick. A thin film of bile begins to creep up my throat and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. (if you gave me a gun to murder someone, I can imagine feeling quite uncomfortable, like, uh-oh, this is horrible, putting down the gun, and then going and taking a shower) But my depression was coming from (among other things) that inability to swallow my own lie. “The education system sucks” may actually be true; high school, tertiary, grad school and so on, but my avoidance was only hurting myself. Worse, I was hurting others. Lashing out at someone to defend your ego is aggressive and selfish and hurtful. I would feel ashamed and guilty. I would apologise profusely and restore balance. Then the cycle would repeat. And the whole time I knew my grades could be better, and I should be treating others more fairly. I would receive bad grades from avoidance, feel guilty and depressed, be proactive in making plans to do better next time, and then begin to avoid working once my confidence was restored. I would suffer imposter syndrome when I did achieve something worthwhile. The tension is thus: I knew I could do better, knew I was nowhere near the smartest person alive, and knew I just needed to accept that second fact to develop healthier study habits.

How do you break out of this cycle to begin to more fully realise your potential? Even better: how do you untangle narcissistic defences so that you don’t hurt others around you?

I think that narcissistic personality traits, at least in this particular manifestation, tend to cause the individual to believe others won’t like them unless they’re star performers. Call it (maybe an obvious) observation of myself and others. And in a sense, this is true. If you have the unfortunate upbringing of the particular kind of perverse parenting that demands nothing short of perfection, if love is only given to you because of your grades, then what hope did you have? Little kids need well-adjusted role models, citation hopefully unnecessary and completely obvious. And narcissistic goals range from being the best at school, to being the best with women, having the most money, and so on. You pick your trophy (or more accurately, have it picked for you) and your reality wraps itself into a bubble around that.

As it pertains to study, this is what you must unlearn: “People will only like me for my intellect”

Think about people who you’re friends with, and why. Because they’re members of the Promethean society? Or because they exhibit other traits; loyalty, the ability to help, to lend an ear, to act as a sounding board. To talk to and laugh with and make life bearable and happy. To share experiences with. You need to learn to accept people for who they are. This means understanding that they are not going to be looking to you for a 100% inductive reasoning result. Friendships aren’t built on Raven’s progressive matrices and Scantrons. For most, this will probably never even enter their sphere of consciousness.

Some practical advice for class: talk to your peers. You will see that they are human beings with anxieties and insecurities just like you. You will start to like other people, and finally yourself, more. Don’t expect to always be the best, at everything, all the time. Because you’re not. Not a diss. Just reality. You’re not your IQ. “No one reliably produces insight consistently” I’m paraphrasing a guy who received his PhD in Mathematics from Princeton at age 18. If you don’t believe me, try giving him the benefit of the doubt.

There’s a certain romance to the lone genius working against the establishment. But it’s just that: a fantasy. Time to let it go.

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marcusssanderson · 6 years ago

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5 Best TED Talks That Will Transform Your Thinking, Part I

TED Talks are Miracle Grow for the body, mind and soul! They are cutting edge philosophy, psychology, science and insight, among many other wonderful “ideas worth sharing.” The very first TED Talks were posted online in July, 2006 and continue to serve as a phenomenal resource for seekers like us who are striving to make ourselves and this world a better place.

I never run out of curiosity, or the need to grow into someone I like more than the day before. As a teenager, I had two choices. I could cave and let hard situations and obstacles drive the essence of me deep into the ground, where not even a flicker of light existed. The alternative was to start asking questions, to seek understanding and greater insight, and to let myself learn from events that might otherwise keep me in dark places.

I searched for answers in books on spirituality, religion, relationships, psychology and all other things self-help. I attended seminars, twelve-step groups, webinars, and creative circles to untangle the beliefs I learned early—beliefs and philosophies that no longer served me. Eventually I discovered TED Talks, which continue to disclose the answers I seek. Whether you’re new to TED or an avid fan, the following best TED Talks are a must-watch and worth repeating. I had a difficult time narrowing down my favorites, so these five are the first batch, with more to follow.

Best TED Talks That Will Transform Your Thinking

1.) Tony Robbins: Why we do what we do

TED Description: Tony Robbins discusses the “invisible forces” that motivate everyone’s actions — and high-fives Al Gore in the front row.

One of the first six TED Talks posted online July, 2006, Tony Robbins’s talk is worth watching again today. Tony reveals his thirty-year obsession about what makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives. He is quick to point out how many of us have figured out the achievement part of life, but very few of us have learned how to become fulfilled and impactful to the world around us.

“I look at life and say there’s two master lessons. One is: there’s the science of achievement, which almost everyone here has mastered amazingly. How do you take the invisible and make it visible. How do you make your dreams happen? Your business, your contribution to society, money—whatever, your body, your family.

The other lesson that is rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment. Because science is easy, right? We know the rules, you write the code and you get the results. Once you know the game, you just up the ante, don’t you? But when it comes to fulfillment — that’s an art. The reason is, it’s about appreciation and contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself.”

Growing up feeling lost with a sense of never really belonging, I made an early decision to master achievement. I made the best grades, won the contests, got great jobs and blew the company records off the wall. I had everything I ever wanted, so why wasn’t I happy? I hadn’t yet tapped into the second key: fulfillment. We have to nurture the desires of our souls in a way that spills out and touches the people around us in a significant way. If you’re not there yet, don’t sweat it. You’re still gathering lessons so keep searching.

2.) Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability

TED Description: Brené Brown studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.

Are you one of the more than twenty-three million viewers who’ve seen this TED talk? Have you had the pleasure of watching Brene Brown demonstrate why it’s so powerful to be vulnerable, and what some might confuse with being “weak?” As Brene Brown dug into her research and focused on connection, she realized how many of us actually feel disconnected, and what’s worse, we are ashamed of that, adding to our overall bad feelings.

“And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection? The things I can tell you about it: It’s universal; we all have it. The only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection.

No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it, the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this ‘I’m not good enough,’ — which, we all know that feeling: ‘I’m not blank enough. I’m not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough.’ The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability. This idea of, in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.”

Oh did this ever touch a nerve in me the first time I listened! I understand shame and feeling inferior. My solution? To act confident and to accomplish great things! But that didn’t solve anything and in fact, it only buried my real problem which made it that much harder years later to excavate my soul and tell myself it’s okay to have the need to belong and feel connected.

We weren’t meant to live life separate from everyone else, and we certainly weren’t born unworthy and fearful. Please watch this (again) as Brene shares the key differences between those of us who battle a grave sense of unworthiness and shame, and those who don’t. As a bonus, she manages to convey this soulful topic with laugh-out-loud humor. Watch!

3.) Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are

TED Description: Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how “power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.

What I love about TED Talks is that many of them seem like good common sense but they are backed by science. It’s the best of both worlds! Amy Cuddy is a social psychologist who overcame a debilitating car accident that caused her identity and worthiness to plummet. Her research is focused on nonverbal body language, but not so much what we observe in others, but what our brains conclude from our own nonverbal cues, including our thoughts and posture.

“So when we think of nonverbals, we think of how we judge others, how they judge us and what the outcomes are. We tend to forget, though, the other audience that’s influenced by our nonverbals, and that’s ourselves. We are also influenced by our nonverbals, our thoughts and our feelings and our physiology.

…When I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me, ‘It feels fake.’ Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. … She comes back to me months later, and I realized that she had not just faked it till she made it, she had actually faked it till she became it.”

One of the many ways I’ve rebuilt my psyche from a troubled past is by using positive affirmations and visualization. In fact, the first few mantras I learned as a teenager in twelve-step recovery was, “ Fake it till you make it,” and, “Take the actions first, and let the feelings follow.” When our internal software is critically flawed, we can keep limping along with broken beliefs or we can take an active role in re-programming our internal language. But this TED talk goes well beyond basic affirmations.

Amy offers an engaging talk and demonstrates scientifically how a confident person shows up in the world, versus someone less confident. She offers a proven technique which only takes two minutes a day to literally change your hormone levels and boost your esteem. You will present an improved version of “you” to the world, yes, but most importantly … to YOURSELF. Our sub-conscious believes what we tell it and I think yours is telling you to watch this TED talk (again) right now!

4.) Andrew Solomon: How the worst moments in our lives make us who we are

TED Description: Writer Andrew Solomon has spent his career telling stories of the hardships of others. Now he turns inward, bringing us into a childhood of adversity, while also spinning tales of the courageous people he’s met in the years since. In a moving, heartfelt and at times downright funny talk, Solomon gives a powerful call to action to forge meaning from our biggest struggles.

Andrew Solomon’s TED Talk made me feel like I was listening to a gentle giant—gentle in nature and giant in reach. His message of compassion, shifted perspective and gratitude boldly amplifies a message so desperately needed in a world filled with daily tragedy and injustice. His talk brings up a heated topic widely disagreed upon in our society. This serves to only further demonstrate the purpose of his talk and offers us an even greater challenge. While we may not understand or always agree with our neighbors, we can all strive for more empathy for one another.

“As a student of adversity, I’ve been struck over the years by how some people with major challenges seem to draw strength from them, and I’ve heard the popular wisdom that that has to do with finding meaning. And for a long time, I thought the meaning was out there, some great truth waiting to be found. But over time, I’ve come to feel that the truth is irrelevant. We call it finding meaning, but we might better call it forging meaning.”

This TED talk could aptly be named, “Finding the Gift,” the title of my own book and a topic that is near and dear to my heart. We all face adversity, but it’s how we use that adversity that really defines us. Do we let it destroy us? Do we believe the lies it told us? Or do we choose instead to see the opportunity for growth within it?

I found the use of “forge” to be curious so I looked up its definition: make or shape (a metal object) by heating it in a fire or furnace and beating or hammering it (Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary). Woah! How better to describe taking the tough stuff in life through a painful transition process, to ultimately mold it into something more desirable?

Gifts are often gift-wrapped in obstacles, so leave no gift unopened. It may not be obvious at first glance, but if we keep looking, chances are good that with enough time and perspective, we can find reasons to be grateful in all things. Andrew demonstrated that well. Even when I can’t find the gift, I choose to believe it’s there anyway—in some way being the lesser of two evils, in teaching me something I need to know, or simply in shaping my character to handle challenges down the road.

Adversity makes me more relatable to my fellows and can serve as a point of connection and hope. We can’t change what’s happened to us, but we can change how we think and feel about it, and how we use it for good. Watch and be inspired to transform your biggest struggles too.

5.) Steve Jobs: How to live before you die

TED Description: At his Stanford University commencement speech, Steve Jobs, CEO and co-founder of Apple and Pixar, urges us to pursue our dreams and see the opportunities in life’s setbacks — including death itself.

Seriously? I don’t even know where to begin on this one, much less decide which quotes to bring out. I’d prefer to just give you the entire transcript, it’s that good! Steve Jobs tells three stories about his life to illustrate three key lessons: connecting the dots, love and loss, and what we can learn from accepting that death is unavoidable.

Steve Jobs had the courage to find a career he loved, rather than simply follow suit with what everyone else was doing. We learn how this college drop-out discovered what he was passionate about pursuing. He never settled for anything less and encourages others to keep looking if they haven’t found it yet. Steve Jobs trusted his gut and arguably accomplished far more in his life following his heart, than had he stuck to a prescribed, one-size-fits-all path.

“And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on … None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me…. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward, when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something— your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever—because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path. And that will make all the difference.”

Personally, I did not consider what I loved or what my talents were when choosing my career path. I grew up feeling invisible and we were extremely poor, so making money was my main objective. Achieving external validation and recognition was a close second. One was to fill my bank account and the other was supposed to fill the deficit inside my soul. Unfortunately, I learned that neither accomplishment made me happy or fulfilled.

For so many years, I was playing it safe instead of finding the courage to pursue my authentic, yet unknown calling. My heart aches for anyone else who feels trapped in their present circumstances—certain there must be more to life, but not knowing what that might be and afraid to make a change.

Just as Steve Jobs getting fired from Apple led him to the most creative years of his life, my twelve year, award-winning sales career ending due to injury led me to the place where I can now make the most impact while loving every minute of my “work.” Chase your heart first and let the paycheck follow. That’s easier said than done so if you did it the other way around, like I did, just know it is never, ever too late to change course and do what you really love.

I also subscribe to Steve’s last point: letting death shape how we approach life. I have a weird habit of studying obituaries looking for people who really lived. If we think with the end in mind, what would we do differently now? What do you want said about you when you’re gone? Writing what we want read at our memorial service is the ultimate goal-setting session.

Steve Jobs asked himself every day for thirty-three years, “If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?” He shared how understanding his mortality helped him fearlessly make big life decisions. Again, I could have chosen many more life-transforming quotes from these fifteen minutes so watch this talk to get them all!

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Please enjoy these classic TED talks and stay tuned for part two! Until then, cheers to you finding the gift!

The post 5 Best TED Talks That Will Transform Your Thinking, Part I appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

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how2to18 · 7 years ago

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“WE’RE HEADED for empty-headedness” it begins, but the poems that follow the first one, “Out of Metropolis,” seem to proceed from a head brimming over with perceptions, imaginings, conversations, arguments, sensualities, obsessive pursuits, and total emersions — rivers that branch into tributaries. But one must factor in to those wayward metaphorical rivers — and to Lynn Emanuel’s The Nerve of It: Poems New and Selected — the poet’s masterful control of pacing, tone, her daring imagery, and deliriously pleasing language. Rivers, tributaries, they aren’t quite the right metaphor. And I admit to this here, in this fashion, to prepare the reader for poems, from four books spanning three decades, which will double back on themselves, contradict each other, reconsider — in other words behave not quite like rivers.

In the part-real, half-imagined, and largely bereft desert town of Ely, Nevada, of the 1950s, to the “grandmothers / with their shanks tied up in the tourniquets / of rolled stockings” seated in the Roxy theater, appears a Marilyn Monroe spin-off:

There in the narrow mote-filled finger of light, is a blonde, so blonde, so blinding, she is a blizzard, a huge spook, and lights up like the sun the audience in its galoshes. She bulges like a deuce coupe. When we see her we say good-bye to Kansas. (“Blonde Bombshell”)

That’s the deliriously pleasing language I’m talking about. And here’s more:

When I drink it is always 1953, Bacon wilting in the pan on Cook Street And mother, wrist deep in red water, Laying a trail from the sink To a glass of gin and back. She is a beautiful, unlucky woman In love with a man of lechery so solid You could build a table on it And when you did the blues would come to visit. (“Frying Trout While Drunk”)

A reader might take these for exceptionally skillful and alluring autobiographical poems, the first establishing a childhood environment, the next revealing something of the family life. And the reader would be wrong. These two are probably not autobiographical in the strictest sense. Lynn Emanuel did not grow up in Ely, Nevada, though a series of poems from her second book, The Dig, might leave one with that impression. She grew up in Denver, Colorado, her mother a business woman, her father an artist. “Raoul,” the focus of several poems and, seemingly, the object of erotic fascination in her coming-of-age years, Emanuel has described as “partly invented and partly a composite of ‘characters’ I’ve known.”

The poet’s “Note To the Reader” reveals that this selection will dispense with the usual ordering: “I have ignored chronology, placing new poems beside old, mixing middle and early poems with recent work, and liberating all my poems from the restraints of their particular histories, both aesthetic and autobiographical.” This is in favor of an order, she says, that will involve both “linkage” and “collision.” Here, poems of imagined scenarios, dreamed up and dreamt-of characters, mix with memory (though at times, for the reader at least, those imagined scenarios seem so palpable one could, well, build a table on them). In this manner, Emanuel’s shifting relationship with linear narrative doesn’t express itself simply through non-sequential movement within a poem, but through a fluid reimagining or rearranging of her life, or a life. Or a psyche. And throughout, various poems muse on the relationship between Writer and Reader, between Poet and Poem — these along with pronouncements too resolute for the gentile word muse.

In our age, such investigations, and such bucking against the business of how-things-have-been-done, calls up the Specter of Postmodernism, its cousins, and its progeny, and some decades of mixed results. Not everyone’s shattered narratives, stylistic potpourris, meta-fictions, and meta-poems satisfy on all fronts. But here, no matter how cerebral the exploration, a vigor and sparking wit enliven these writings. It is not humor precisely but something that flashes across the brain to similar effect. If we’re hardwired to search for narrative, for story — a condition Lynn Emanuel has reflected on elsewhere, in another collection — we might also be hardwired to desire surprise. In line after unexpected line, surprise is among the rewards these poems offer up. From “The White Dress”: “it’s an eczema of sequins, rough, gullied, riven / puckered with stitchery, a frosted window / against which we long to put our tongues.”

Each of the six sections ends with fierce finality. Recently, I read a Lynn Emanuel poem to my poetry workshop, and, responding to the bravura of the closing lines, one of my students gave tribute with that generation’s cry of highest praise, Drop the mic! Of course, fierce finality notwithstanding, when we turn the page Lynn Emanuel is still going at it, with a new project this time, a new circuitous undertaking.

In The Nerve of It, the more solidly located poems give way to some that flip about fretfully, self-critical, jumpy with desire. At intervals Emanuel expresses what seems a kind of restlessness, a burst of impatience — with herself? With the poem? Something is lacking. Something more is required. She places upon herself — demands.

Tiresome, tiresome is the poet Recumbent on the davenport Lost in raptures of self-regard […] I am what is wrong with America. Standing debauched, bereft, Empty-handed for first one Eternal verity and then another … (“Self-Portrait”)

And later, in the same section of the book:

Where did she come from, that dig in the ribs? Who is she to pretend she’s me and to take on that ditched-in, hopeless tone? Who is this phony yokel? This two-dollar bill, this pig knuckle? Honey, I tell her, my name is Lynn Collins Emanuel, someone whose whole manner says I’m over-educated but recovering. (“The Past”)

Sure enough, sometimes a writer wants to plunge into the self and milk it for all its worth, and other times to kick it off — Tsk! — the Self and Past both, like a pair of irritating shoes one’s been stuck in all day. And sometimes it’s everywhere, that self. “Homage to Sharon Stone,” which sprang from an occasion when Sharon Stone was situated across the street from Emanuel, in some city, whirls us through a self that morphs like silvery liquid, or cool CGI effects, into characters, into objects, “then I am the train pulling into the station / when what I would really love to be is Gertrude Stein spying on Sharon Stone / at six in the morning. But enough about / that, back to the interior decorating.”

Not everything’s subjective, malleable. Sometimes an occurrence flat-out happens and the fact of it is immutable. While she was working on Then, Suddenly—, her third book, Emanuel’s father died, and she’s spoken of how the shock and grief affected her poetry, divesting it of certain luxuries. For a time afterward, she lost confidence that contemporary language, imprinted with contemporary sensibilities, could express the great elegiac emotions — she meant, of course, without slipping into sentimentality or melodrama. She’s said that after the death of her father she did not have “the stamina, the control or the resources to create a more shapely line.”

This news provides an insight that might help the reader take in more fully, more usefully, certain of these poems. There’s a restraint in them, and, even now, a wit — though a different tenor of wit — that might otherwise be misread.

Suddenly, I turn around and there he is just as I’m getting a handle on the train pulls- into-the-station poem, “What gives?” I ask him, “I’m alone and dead,” he says, and I say, “Father, there’s nothing I can do about all that. Get your mind off it. Help me with the poem

about the train.” “I hate the poem about the train,” he says. But since he’s dead and I’m a patient woman I turn back to the poem in which the crowds have gone home… (“Halfway Through the Book I’m Writing”)

This apparition might seem somewhat comical, rather like Elvira in Noël Coward’s Blithe Spirit, or the dapper ghosts that provoked Cosmo Topper — mischievous, impertinent visitations. A reader coming upon this poem by itself — perhaps the very same reader who took the Ely poems for historical fact — might suppose this death had made a long slow approach, that the “I” was ready for it and took it in stride. And be wrong. Again. The poem that follows, “The Burial,” presents a stranger mood, closer the bone, closer the nerve. A hallucinatory image has the speaker standing before a grave holding a shovel: “the blade is / drenched in shine, the air is alive along it, as air is alive / on the windshield of a car.”

Intimations of death will recur in the last section, death imagined, then death imagined differently:

I dipped my pen into that inky place. The cloudy brow of night

Was furrowed in concern, Because the living did not seem to know That they were being stalked by me. (“The Murder Writer”)

“Ars Poetica” appears just before “Halfway through the Book I’m Writing,” and might not anticipate what’s to come. Or maybe it forecasts one of those collisions that the note to the reader warns of.

Personal experiences are chains and balls fatally drawn to the magnetic personality. I have always been a poet who poured herself into the shrouds of experience’s tight dresses […]

But now I have other things to do. (“Ars Poetica”)

Some disenchantment, or hankering to venture elsewhere, or desire to speak out of a more ageless voice, gave rise to the Dogg poems. Here, they appear in the penultimate section, and a poem called “Metamorphosis” ushers them in. Ah ha, we’re in Greeksville, among the persona poems — the Persona, that mask that both Is and Is Not s/he who wears it. (Ask any performer who’s run away with a traveling masquerade theater — they’ll tell you all about it.) Dogg breaks entirely from proper language, from civil discourse. Dogg the outcast, the impoverished, proud and despised. It speaks — Dogg.

I wuz followin a boot down the avenew,

The smell uf wet meat clung to it.

I wuz leapen over ashes an trashes wit out a license

runnin frum the p’lese—the gas, net, an boot.

This iz the life, I thot— a planet uf ruin an disorder

an the dogs uf the world runnin the world. (“Stray Dog”)

Out of another age, an earlier poem came to this reviewer’s mind. It is by one Irene McLeod, born in Victorian times, 1891. I would not mention it now if I didn’t believe that the sisterhood, the brotherhood, of poets might leap across centuries: “I’m a lean dog, a keen dog, a wild dog and lone / […] I’ll never be a lap dog, licking dirty feet, / a sleek dog, a meek dog, cringing for my meat.”

With respect to other relations, Dogg also has something of Coyote’s supernatural presence, though little of his totemic power — Coyote of the Northwest tribes and other regions. This one’s a totem for our age, our cities, a rundown, slumming mongrel whose only talent is survival. Survival and omnipresence.

(At the pound, Dogg is interrogated)

Who iz that scrawnee filth? they ask Dogg.

Who is that pack that runs together?

Who is that racket of instinct in the brane? Ribs stickin out like bucket staves?

Who iz those howls? Who iz standin-at-the-post-in-chains an puts itself between us an our rage? (“Who iz Dogg?”)

It’s called The Nerve of It, this collection. “The Nerve of her!” some people said of somebody or other, back when that was a phrase — “What nerve!” And then there’s the “nerve” of Frank O’Hara, from his essay, “Personism: A Manifesto,” an ars poetica of sorts. “You just go on your nerve. If someone’s chasing you down the street with a knife you just run, you don’t turn around and shout ‘Give it up! I was a track star for Mineola Prep!’” I’ve always loved that line — and never been quite sure how to apply it to poetry. Lynn Emanuel appears interested in both meanings, as an expression of social disapproval involving, perhaps, an offense against propriety, and the primal nerve, that bundle that transmits sensations to the brain, gives commands. “Run!”

Emanuel’s New and Selected reveals an uncommon talent, together with a restless, adventurous spirit. And over the course of the book, especially in its final pages, it seems one prospective adventure might involve a negotiated truce between brain (“over-educated but recovering”) and nerve. No, not a truce, more like a rendezvous. No, more like an affair. No, a cellular fusion. To touch a nerve! What an undertaking! What nerve.

Suzanne Lummis’s poems have appeared in notable literary magazines across the country, including Ploughshares, The Antioch Review, Hotel Amerika, and The New Yorker. Her most recent poetry collection, Open 24 Hours, received the Blue Lynx Award and was published by Lynx House Press.

The post Going on Nerve: Lynn Emanuel’s “The Nerve of It: Poems New and Selected” appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.

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