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uselessnocturnal · 4 years ago

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in which i watch miraculous, react and things come out of my brain

FSHDKSHJDDH omfg not me hopping right back on the mlb train after seeing its trending on tumblr AND there’s a new ep

spent like half an hour hunting down a link i-

((spoilers))

THE OPENING IM SCREAMING IT KINDA LOOKS GOOD??

fuckin pigeon man again

what’s up with the voices

WHAT IS THIS

THE NEW SUITS??? AND ALYAS VOICE HHHHH

i’m crying over the flower symbolism that everyone was dying over HAHAHAHAHA

PARTNERSHIP :””)

guys they’re such good friends pls

this boy,,

i’m on the floor watching this

marinette you fucking simp

WASHINGTON AND LAFAYETTE AS SOCK PUPPETS WTF HAHAHA

........SHES PREGNANT WHO

omg the science teacher :(

lilashut up

marinette wHy ARE YOU LIKE THIS

“yOuR friENd”

LOL THEY LOOK SO ANGRY

nice. but also fuck you gabriek for taking advantage of this

HSJSHDJSHDJDHSH THE KAGAMI AND ADRIEN KISS WAS ACTUALLY SO SOFT

ok but where is the kagami character development wtf is this script

SCREAMING LADYBOIR ON THE ROOFTOPS

THEYRE SO CUTE HAHAHHAHAAHHA

oh no

OH NO

NOOOO HES SO SAD

hsbdjshddhdhfh oh man plagg

crying gabriel really be calling emilie arrests my love but also sleeping with nathalie

LUKA AMD MARINETTE AHHHHHHH

FUCK THEY COULD BE SO CHTE

CHEEJ KISSES

i. don’t remember anything from previous episodes

LMAO SHES SITTING NECT TO ADRIEN HAHAHAHHAHA

why is marinette like this oh my gosh

frickin disaster

marinette imagination drawing has improved

i feel so bad for adrien omg

HAHAHAH ADRIENS BODYGUARD

why the fuck does the headmaster dude have popcorn on the plane

JULEKA AND ROSE CUDDLING

turbulence whilst in the bathroom is so relatable

“it’s beautiful isn’t it” YEAH ADRIEN IM SURE YOU WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THR VIEW

this is so soft omg i wouldn’t even mind if they stayed friends

nino and alya commentating HAHAHA

these two they’re so cute

HUGS AWWWW

...america has super villains too?

HWO ARE THESE POEPLE

UNITED HEROES?

i just realised this is a forty minute episode fuck

are superheroes just normal here i- Huh

night owl and sparrow???

AAWWWWW MOTHER DAUGHTER DUO (except i think the daughter is a uh robot)

://///// america.

“there’s a superhero for everything here” sure.

nino and adrien HAHAHA

omg no she’s a real girl she’s so cute aaaaaa

these kids......can’t work automatic doors.... absolute disasters

nope she is a robot

ayon?? is that her name?

there eyes are SO BIG

sabrina getting a storyline perhaps?

chloe saying the word cooties,,,, Huh

AYONS FRIEND SHES FUNNY

this party thing is making me laugh too much

the sneaking out and the teacher coming up HAHA boarding school vibes

so frickin weird but kinda cute

HER FRIEND IS SO COOL I WANNA KNOW HER NAME

“is it a bird” “is it a plane” SERIOUSLY

magic hotdogs?? wtf

nope i don’t wanna see this

WHAT

WHATS HAPPENING

they’re really playing matchmaker huh

omfg HAHAHHAHAHAHA THEYRE FLOATING AND DANCING PLEASEEEEE

i- these two DUMBASSES

also the friend’s talent wowza

FUCK ITS ACTUALLY AN HOUR LONG

why are they so bad at automatic doors i-

adrien SHUTUP IM SCREAMINF

*ahem* ladynoir

this girl got so into it so quick compared to what she was like last night and she’s doing it for entertainment too HAHA

gabriel,,,,, what the heck

a whole history lesson

i forgot how fucking stupid hawkmoth’s speech stuff is

“WOULDNT YOU RATHER HAVE AN ATOMIC BOMB” BROKE ME

adrienettes biggest enemy: doors

ohno

o h n o

these superhero transformations Huh

NOOOO AYON

OHNOOO SHES GONNA KNOW

O H N O

this team up is CUTE

nuuu she’s so angry at him

sparrow and ayon are so SKILLS

ohnoohnoohnoohno

MARINETTE WHY

oh my gosh

FUCK

HE JSUT CATACLYSMED HER FUCK

hawkmoth get in bitch we’re hunting down villains

omg they on the RUN

it’s a whole superhero FAMILY

oh nooooooo

THIS JS SAD

NOOOOO ADRIEN

NO WHY WOULD YOU LESVE HER

FUCK

PAIN

and hawkmoth has a whole new miraculous Fuck

“GILBERT” FSGDJSHDHJD HAHAHAHAHA

gabriel is so frickin evil

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA SUPERHERO MOMS IM SCREAMING

IM SO CONFUSED ARE THEY SISTERS OR. FRIENDS

marinette with plagg :(((

america has power rangers

ha that transition was pretty funny

noooooooooo i’m so sad

ALYA DONT SHOUT AT HER PLEASE SHES SAD

i’m-

FUCK MARINETTE DOESNT DESERVE THIS

AND NEITHER DOES ADRIEN

ohno

O H N O

lol it’s fuckin batman and superman but female and married

oh my shit,,,,,,

lol the door guy is kinda funny

oh fuck

yay i love these kids

gosh i LOVE sparrow

uh what the fuck was that

omg “i can’t imagine being ladybug without him” PLEASE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

plagg why are you like this

HUGS

STOPPPPP GSHDKSHDJS I LOVE THEM

why are there bombs and cannons EVERYWHERE this fuckin country

HER NAMES JESS

this was so cute

SPARROW IS AMAZING

OH MY GOSH SHES GETTING THE MIRACULOUS SCREAMING

uh.

that’s a nuke.

FSHKDHFJSHDGM MAJESTIA WHAT RHE FUCK SHE JST FUCKING CAUGHT IY

JESS GETS TO KEEP THE MIRACULOUS AHHHHHHH (sparrow = robin)

GUYS

STOP THIS IS CUTE

oh fuck when gabriel said his theory was correct i thought he knew adrien was chat noir but it’s FINE

shut up this was so much fun

HUH?

THEYRE MAKING AMERICAN MIRACULOUS HOLDERS NOW? there are other guardians??? i’m screaming

i’m still on the floor but this was actually so good i kinda loved it FUCK

#so i did some googling and her name is spelt aeon #:’)#and her superhero name is uncanny valley #im so in love w jess though FSHKFHSJF #lyss reviews #miraculous ladybug #ml new york #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #ladybug #chat noir #mlb spoilers #spoilers #this is a.....cery long post

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shanghai-ohmy · 5 years ago

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MaoMaoctober Day 30: Halloween

Penultimate fic! Adorabat explains the concept of Halloween to Badgerclops and Mao Mao, who have never heard of it before. They are, predictably, horrified. But Adorabat makes a strong argument for it! Read today’s fic on AO3, or under the cut.

"Hallowhat?" Mao Mao asked. What a ridiculous word.

"Halloween!" Adorabat repeated, stressing the last syllable. "Come on Mao Mao, everyone knows what Halloween is!"

Mao Mao turned to Badgerclops. "Have you..?"

Badgerclops shook his head.

"Adorabat, you'll have to explain this 'Halloween' to us."

"Halloween is the best day ever!! All the kids get dressed in cool costumes, then they go from house to house collecting candy! Sometimes the houses are really scary. It's soooo fun!"

"Wait," Mao Mao said. "So you hide your identities…"

"And visit strangers' houses…" Badgerclops continued.

"Where you accept food from them…"

"And they're in costumes too?"

Adorabat nodded gleefully. "Mhm! Sometimes the older kids prank people too."

Mao Mao and Badgerclops exchanged a glance. "Okay," Mao Mao crossed to the calendar and picked up a marker. "Halloween is officially cancelled!" He crossed out October 31st. "Stupid local tradition…" he muttered.

"Yeah man, we gotta shut this thing down. Literally no part of that sounds okay." Badgerclops began to draft a letter announcing the cancellation.

Adorabat was aghast. "What are you saying?! Halloween is the best day of the year!"

"It sounds way too dangerous and unpredictable! We can't have unidentifiable sweetypies running around in masks and causing mischief!"

Adorabat looked nervous now. "No, please, don't cancel Halloween! It's really fun! I promise!"

"Adorabat, I just don't see how-"

Adorabat started to cry. "If the other kids find out I ruined Halloween, they'll all hate me! Please don't do it!"

Mao Mao felt his chest tighten as his stomach dropped out from under him. He couldn't stand to see Adorabat cry.

"Dude dude dude, it's okay!" Badgerclops said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "We won't cancel Halloween!"

"Really?" She sniffled.

"Yeah!" Mao Mao said. He was desperate to stop her crying. "In fact, we'll celebrate with you!"

She looked cautiously excited. "You promise?"

Mao Mao nodded. He had no idea what he was getting himself into. But if this "Halloween" had been going on for so long, it couldn't be as bad as it sounded, right?

Adorabat was relieved, then thrilled. "Oh! Oh! You guys need costumes!"

"Costumes?" Badgerclops asked.

"Yeah, everyone dresses up on Halloween! If you're going to take me candy collecting, you need to wear something fun too!"

"Hmm…" Mao Mao considered the options. If he could dress up as anything, what would it be? It wasn't a question he'd pondered much before.

"Well, what are you going as?" Badgerclops asked Adorabat. "Maybe that can help me and Mao Mao figure out what to do."

"I'm going as the best hero ever!!" She ran to the bedroom and returned with a small red cape and a cardboard katana.

"Awww, that's so cute!" Badgerclops patted her on the head. She bonked his hand with the prop sword. Suddenly Badgerclops's eyes lit up with an idea. "I wanna be a werewolf!"

Mao Mao laughed. "Aren't you already enormous and hairy? What else is left?"

Badgerclops wiggled his claws. "Paws, a tail, and a tattered red flannel. We can do that, easy."

Adorabat gasped. "Oh! Mao Mao! You can be a vampire!"

"Adorabat?" Badgerclops said. "That is hands down the best idea you've ever had. Can you imagine Mao Mao with little fangs?" Badgerclops put his hand to his head, fake swooning.

Mao Mao blushed. Even though Badgerclops was making it weird, a vampire would be a pretty good costume for him. A big dramatic cape, a ruffled shirt… that could be fun. "Okay, okay." He made a placating hand gesture. "I'll do it."

"Yes! Yes! Yes!!" Adorabat shot into the air and flew a loop in excitement. "This will be so much fun!!"

Mao Mao and Badgerclops looked at each other nervously.

---

Mao Mao poked at the plastic fangs with his tongue. They were ridiculous and not very comfortable, but they’d made Adorabat (and Badgerclops) very happy. It was Halloween now, and they were out trick-or-treating with Adorabat. She’d explained more of the tradition to them, how it was all supposed to work, and Badgerclops had even done some research into the history of it at the library. Their initial panic at the concept of Halloween seemed a little silly now.

They walked down the cobblestone streets of the city, past houses lined with fake spiderwebs and jack-o-lanterns. Adorabat held a plastic bucket half-full with candy. She’d gotten tired of carrying her sword, so Badgerclops held onto it for her. It looked pretty funny clutched between his fuzzy werewolf paws. The atmosphere of the night was fun, Mao Mao had to admit. Kids walked from house to house ringing doorbells and getting candy. Occasional screams followed by laughs came from all around. Clusters of young sweetypies simply stood around, trading candy and playing in their costumes. He could see why Adorabat liked this so much.

“Let’s do this one!” Adorabat flew up to the doorbell of a meticulously-decorated house and pressed it. The doorway was surrounded by an array of skeletons in conversational poses. It opened, revealing Ol’ Blue.

“Woooah! Your costume is SO COOL!”

Blue smiled. He was dressed in a very elaborate pirate costume. His clean white shirt out-ruffled Mao Mao’s by a substantial margin. It was layered beneath a double-breasted navy waistcoat with shining gold trim, pointed cuffs, and a series of polished brass buttons lining either side of the open center. On his head sat a perfectly matching tricorne. A sheathed cutlass dangled from his side. The detail and precision on the costume was stunning.

He didn’t have an eyepatch or a hook hand (which Badgerclops appreciated), but he did have a parrot puppet. Two, in fact, one on each hand. He held the left one up towards Adorabat’s candy bucket. “Share?” he squawked, tilting the parrot’s head and opening its mouth.

Adorabat was surprised. “Um… you want some of my candy?”

The parrot nodded. Ol’ Blue winked at Mao Mao as Adorabat rummaged through her bucket. “Here,” she said, holding out a tiny fun-sized candy bar. “These ones are really good.”

The parrot squawked approvingly and grabbed it from her hand. Ol’ Blue reached beyond the doorframe with his other hand. A moment later, the other parrot dropped a full-sized version of the same candy bar back into Adorabat’s bucket.

“WOW!!” Adorabat shouted, delighted. “Thanks Mr. Blue!”

“You did a great job sharing, Adorabat. I like your costume too.” He waved at her as she bounded back towards Mao Mao and Badgerclops, then shut the door again.

“I want a costume like THAT next year!” Adorabat announced gleefully. Mao Mao watched her take her sword back from Badgerclops and realized with surprise that he was grinning. It was nice to see Adorabat so happy. It was fun to see all the costumes. And it was nice just to spend time with Badgerclops and Adorabat away from their sheriff duties. He walked a little closer to Badgerclops as they continued onward. He decided he liked Halloween.

#mmhoph #maomaoctober #mao mao: heroes of pure heart #mao mao heroes of pure heart #mao mao

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tumblunni · 7 years ago

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oreshika: you know who is not the bad guy? the bad guy also oreshika: you know who is actually the secret bad guy? this sweet harmless comic relief man who has done nothing wrong

except like its eight glowing brain levels deeper cos the sweet comic relief man is also a giant obviously evil demon mask that ANYONE could have pinned for “really just possessing this dude” since the very start but then his personality was very non bad and he was all ‘hey buddie why u no smile’ to his host and like I LET MY GUARD DOWN OKAY. I LEARNED TO TRUST AGAIN.

i’m at the final battle and I am so pissed off but also HYPED?? like im relaly mad cos like RIGHT FROM HIS FIRST APPEARANCE I was like ‘dear god please don’t make onigashira the real villain, it would be so fucking obvious’ and then i just got progressively more pissed because he literally did nothing evil in the entire damn plot, he’s just evil because Evil he’s some sort of Magical Evil Mask that was Made To Be Evil and like Unquestionably Is That and no sort of interesting exploration on that plot even though he HASNT ACTED EVIL EVER UNTIL THE LITERAL LAST FIVE MINUTES

and it raises SO MANY questions cos like why was he even cooperating with Seimei then?? why didnt he fully posess seimei at any earlier point?? why didnt he kill nueko at any of the five other mandatory boss fights we had with him?? Seimei at least had an intriguing personality that gave an odd justification for his plot laziness. Cos he’s an anti-villain who weirdly sees you all as friends or a mentor/student thing, and he’s really just pretending to be evil so that you’ll kill him, cos he can’t die and desperately wants to. So it makes sense that he doesnt do any of his evil actions until you arrive, cos the whole damn point was just to taunt you into arriving. And its nicely parodied cos he literally sends you tea party invitations to his latest evil plan and gets pissed off if you miss it XD i’m so sad for seimei plz say (mei) that we adopt him afterwards i wanted to adopt onigashira afterwards back when it looked like he was the not evil one of the pair I AM STILL REALLY SALTY THAT HE’S NOT!!!! HIS DESIGN IS REALLY COOL AND CUTE!!!!! AND HE WAS A COMIC RELIEF OLD MAN DEMON DRAGON DOOD!!! i trusted u

okay but to talk about why i am also HYPE i need to go into some endgame spoilers whoopy doop!

so yeah the twist of ‘evilman is actually just being controlled by his puppet dragon thing’ was WAY OBVIOUS and i was really wishing for it to not happen but they made up for it by having ANOTHER TWIST THAT’S WAY BETTER

random description of something else from the endgame that is cool but i dont really know where to fit it into this conversation lol you actually do get to fight Final Boss Seimei here, its a cool boss rush with him and then Super Onigashira Betrayal Mode but what I really like is that its an OPTIONAL boss rush! the first time you play it you fight seimei with his freaky spider legs superform, and then nueko steals it back cos it was hers first. Can i just say again that I love a sexy mom styled heroine who’s powers are entirely around growing friggin monsters out of her arms and stuff? Seriously way to subvert that fanservice bro! (its still a bit cringey when they show the monster tattoos being drawn on her butt and boobs...) so then you go into the second fight and your health has all been healed and now one party member has a new supermove (I was really pissed cos it didnt restore your MP and TP, so I couldnt use that move!) But then if you lose and come back it actually skips the first fight and has an altered cutscene that’s like ‘oh, you’re back for round two?’ and such. MUCH preferrable to stuff like kingdom hearts where i have to watch a damn ten minute cutscene each time! Tho I do wish there was an option to redo it in boss rush mode, I guess that’s just a reward for people who can get it on the first try. I’m prepared now thooooo... :(

OKAY BACK ON TOPIC

Now for this final arc of the story we’ve been investigating the mystery of the Nameless God, some dude in the past who was apparantly super great and then got erased from history. There’s also the mystery of who exactly was Nueko’s husband and what happened to separate her from Seimei and make him turn evil, tho i mean its PRETTY OBVIOUS his dad was this mystery god lol And even though its not really very much of a twist about his identity, its still really interesting how the whole thing is handled. Him being erased from history means that none of the characters can remember his name or face, but NEITHER CAN THE PLAYER! He appears in the interfaces long before the plot actually talks about him, as a silhouette and a name smudged out by ink.

Now the actually cool twist about him is that like.. we’ve been hearing for AGES about how great he was, and how someone must have put out a hit on him or something. And him being in the interface seems like a spoiler that he’s gonna be unlockable later as a godly husband candidate for your protagonists. And even when we see npc optional boss battle gods hating on him, it’s always the jerkass gods who have some sort of reason to be biased. Or (in retrospect) they’re hating him for entirely the wrong reasons based on other people’s flawed gossip about him. “He was too kind and if he made equality then I wouldn’t be rich!” says genericman mc gee, who is probably eighty times less evil than this man

COS THATS THE TWIST

He was an evil fucker and erased himself from history with essentially an alchemy equivelant of a mad science experiment gone wrong. And what happened with Nueko and Seimei was that evilbad mc trashdad tried to use his damn four year old child as raw materials for this experiment, and she tried and failed to save him. And then she was desperate and her only option left was to kill the kid so he couldnt be tortured like that, and then killed herself too from grief. But it all went horribly wrong because she didn’t know that the reason Seimei was a candidate for this experiment is because he had immortality powers as a half human half god. So the poor kid survived watching his mom stab him and then slit her own throat, and he had no clue it was because his dad was gonna kill him anyway, so he grows up hating her and missing her and being this big ol sad mess that’s easily manipulated by a fucko father...

COS THATS ALSO THE TWIST

ONIGASHIRA WAS DADS

WHAT HOW

DADS

And like if they were gonna reveal his entire funny cute sidekick personality to be completely false then I’m glad at least his real personality was Twisty Wow and Immensely Punchable like i still feel like i could never punch a cute puppet pal but i can surely punch an abusive father pretending to be his own son’s imaginary friend for twenty years and whispering bullshit in his ear just to drive him into his own grave and like POOR SEIMEI WANTED TO DIE JUST NOT LIKE THIS NOT LIKE THIIIIIIIISSSS

i still think that ‘hey i was made to be an evil superweapon demon dragon mask thing but i became sentient and decided to be a happy hugs jokeman’ would have been a really amazing character concept too either that or ‘hey it really is a harmless normal mask and i’m just super seriously angsty seimei doing ventriloquism as a hugs jokeman character because i’m lonely as fuck and please be my friend’ either of those would have been better than this but like if this is what we get then I’m at least glad they gave me good enough reason to feel ‘GAHH I WANNA STAB HIM AND SAVE MY NEW SON’ rather than just ‘oh blah this ending ruined my fave character, and i feel nothing towards anything now’

also his boss fight is really damn fuckin coolio wow like it was a HUGE WHOA MOMENT when the fight starts and his name is blanked out and you just instantly know who he was this whole time and your mind explodes that this guy was evil and then he’s like a giant buddha-esque multi armed dude doing sutra poses with a big ol spoopy demon head and then really fun classic gameplay of ‘him summon the many hands and u has to destroy the hands to get 2 him and then they regenerate after a short amount of time’ but he’s also got super hellish simultaneous buff and debuff powers and all sorts of other nasty tricks AND IM ON THE LOWEST DIFFICULTY GEEZ and like for some reason it really stabbed my heart seeing how just one of the many hands is still human, its like seimei’s still in there and maybe he might still be alive if we defeat this guy fast enough... and then the music is SO FUCKING GOOD and it has like three remixes for all his increasingly frantic stages. like he doenst actually have boss transformations for them, its just moveset changes and stat boosts as his health drops. but also the colours of the battlefield change and you get funky remix time so its still cool!

and then I was SO CLOSE, i had him down to 5% HP before he killed me T_T such a marathon boss and I was almost there... I’m really excited to try again tho! i finally got that damn curse off my inherited weapon from the first generation, and now i’m on generation 87, and now im ready to FUCK SOME SHIT UP! also my current party is all named after types of olives because i ran out of inspiration around character number 300 i am so fucking addicted to this grindy ass game!

#bunni plays oreshika #maaaan i still need to upload all the screenshots in between this and the first generation update i did last #so many characters so little progress #still havent got anybody with a third eye or cool demon horns #i hate how much RNG is in this stupid thing #it should just become more likely the longer you play or something #give me a reward #i have burned your game into my soooooul #AND I STILL BARELY UNDERSTAND HALF THE STATS #mo tutorials mo reward for yer progress there u go that is my review #also i love my pimento child

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nothingbutaspaceman-writings · 7 years ago

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Bipolar [lyrics to the 2016 EP]

by popular demand....

maybe I’ll post the lyrics to the uncompleted actual final track one day.

deserteclipse.bandcamp.com/

I yearn to recall simpler times When suicidal thoughts were comforting An occasional hobby

When I found Shakespeare’s tragedies funny And superfluous his comedies “I cried to dream again”

Saccharin’s no honey Marie shared her cake Comfort Eagle and pretty ribbons of pink upon guillotines

It’s the artificiality It’s a fissure to me A trap sending monsters to their grave

Sacrificing sanity’s a must

Sumaria or bust!

“But you’re healthy, you’re writing, You’re in a band, The one you love, you have their hand You don’t have it bad!”

Everything is relative Eloquence and artistry are semantics Brain and mind appreciate diversity Their feuds devastate the body (Hypersomnia is so tiring)

If being happy wasn’t dependent on chemistry, My blood polarity would be blasphemy (Nothing promises pleasure) Records/stories are spun every night Framing means nothing I’m just biding my time

Tommy, You warned me Gold medals in the rain

Tommy, They left me Autodidact in pain

Tommy, I forced me My legs hurt from dancing

—-

Tipitty tip tapping Tapping tapping Tap tap tapping Tipping Tapping Because if I don’t, The bees, they will escape!

I feel them in the, in the, in the pockets of my joints Knuckles pop, poppity-pip-pop to extend their prison-stay-stay-stay Stay Stay STAY! STAY!

The keys clickity-clack, clickity-clack (Moo! Ha) making words and words and words and words and words…….. Moo! HA! WORDS! HA!

(NOBODY CARES)

My foot’s a’movin’ And feet’s a’groovin’ Up and down and down and up and up and all around Because if I don’t, The worms will crawl into my eyes The ankle-breaking heel-gyrating toe-spanking do-si-doing Keeps them a’shakin’ Below my clanking knees

I’m crying Please. I can’t stop writing My soul is overfilling my body And leaking From under my tongue and tear ducts

(NOBODY CARES)

It hurts So badly (I just want to sleep.) I can’t even catch my breath I’m going to start hyperventilating It hurts So badly (NOBODY CARES) My soul is leaking Spilling onto the floor And I just cleaned! (I think my teeth are bleeding From smiling much too hard) Please, forgive me (You can’t argue with chemistry In this box, I am suffocating)

(NOBODY CARES)

I slept most of days away this week And now I can’t find time to blink

I hate sleeping I hate waking

There’s no in between There’s always thinking

Pour me a drink, please Give me paresthesia

Everything tastes like coffee You can’t argue with chemistry (NOBODY CARES)

My sleepless identity Is my disordered personality I am my pathology My sickness defines me

—–

Passion: noun A powerful, compelling emotion or feeling usually associated with love or hate; Also an enthusiastically consuming fondness for an object, act, habit, etc. Its origins lie in ancient Greek and Latin, as well as Middle English from words meaning “to suffer, submit, or endure”

I trust you. Here’s a confession, Please know I don’t trust easy, but as long as I do, I’ll keep confessing Oh, I’ll keep confessing:

I was four when I first considered suicide I wanted to jump into a deep pool though I couldn’t swim Some would call this feeling of wanting to jump “vertigo” I don’t have a word/phrase for it Most times, I think “missed opportunity” At the moment I had no concept of afterlife or oblivion I hardly understood “drowning” But it sounded right Still does in hindsight

Assimilation into what gives life Knowing escape is impossible Knowing escape is incomprehensible There’s probably a word for that

But I guess… I just don’t… I don’t know it yet

—–

Cognitive dissonance is my constant, isn’t it?

Intentionally unintelligible Screen fed Scream dead

I want to be heard Not just heard

Fuck, fucking fuck Rewrite More blood Learn to fucking write More blood Fuck fucking fuck Rewriiiiiite

Ignite the cathartic hemoptysis Lowly fucking plagiarist There’s not enough blood Rewrite Fucking fuck Learn to fucking write What the fuck is wrong with you?

Try try again There’s not enough blood Rewrite

Do it again, get it right Fuck You’re better than this

Needs more blood Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite Needs more blood More blood, more blood, more blood Needs more blood Fuck!

—–

This apathetic anxiety is conflicting within me My suicidal ideation is misplaced reciprocation With its Psychomotor agitation conflating insomnia-fueled deliberations Thoughts and veins in a race; pumping red cells and neurons as I Pace, pace Pace, pace I don’t care, but know I should I would care, but know I can’t

Nihilists have the righter idea And the solipsistic to an extent: Life has no inherent value Conscripted shepherds are buried at sea

I’m drifting from shoreline

Fear and boredom cannot cohabitate I’m so numb… Existential spacial awareness fleeting I’m so numb… Gnawing nails, spitting blood Luring sharks in the flood I’m so numb…

Tying cement shoes as I slip into seabed Inhaling a wife worth of salt, Lot’s Lungs filling like the Exodus plague Entrenched by an excessive weight That snaps my necklace Experiment intended to fail Though if I had kicked myself beyond the pale… Who is gonna argue with the results?

Since when was my end something you could contend? Who are you to tell me how I feel?!

I’m aware of my mistakes Don’t remind me! I’m aware of my mistakes They taught me knotting I’m aware of my mistakes They haunt me, pushing Don’t remind me

A forsaken toxic desert, sandstorming a dry drowning

The sharks are… (they’re just fish) The sharks are… Surrounding The sharks are… (they’re just fish) The sharks are… Devouring The sharks are… (they’re just fish) The sharks are… Expounding

Somewhere beyond this sea My angel stands on golden sands Beyond stars, beyond the moon My heart will lead me there soon Happy, I’ll be And never again… Never again… Will I go sailing

-----

BONUS TRACK

Factories of plastic produce society's static Routine after routine, spick and span The children are laughing with eyes and ears shut Schools and parents pass doctrines of Grow The Hell Up No time to play, no time to lose Week after week, plights and plans Sell your soul, make a quick buck American dream? You’re shit out of luck No honor for a military losing their lives Being fodder for an American Reich Money is king with no change to back it up Plutocracy thrives off the worst of us Silence is key in this gilded age Reject the dissenters Sound Drowns Sound Bounds Hear them come a-marching Beating a drum of rotten rawhide Look at the puppets, see how they dance, They look like little people with little pairs of pants Watch them speak, watch them pray, gaze at The scrambling when they haven't been told what to say Isn't it cute, isn't it neat? Isn't it such a fucking treat?! Isn’t it fun, isn’t it rad? How could something publicized be any bad?! A house divided surely cannot stand They cite century old manuscripts To justify their intolerance Slavers seeking asylum Unbeknownst to industrialization History is catalog of predictable ironies Morality is but a fleeting zeitgeist Occupy the cities, blood up to our knees Tear down these walls, chop down cherry trees Taking back what was stolen We smile as Big Brother’s watching Violence begets violence Reciprocated gouging leave us blind Real men fight real fights, They don’t piss themselves over petty gun rights The second revolution won’t be fought with arms Come and keep your comrade warm Power to the people but people are yet to be found Power-hungry steeples point to abstract nouns Power-outlets breed disinformation Plug in your eyes, unplug your mind Unpopular opinion is on the rise Feed them your lies, dispose of our lives [Unpublished opinion will be your demise] The Binary State The only thing we love is our right to hate One on one You against us Tyrant or patriot? Only prying eyes judge Become the narrative of complacency Bow to your corporate masters Alone, we are nothing Together, we’re a swarm “If a plant cannot live according to its nature, it dies; and so a man”

#lyrics #poetry #sad poetry #dark poetry #depressing poetry #depression #suicide ideation #sadness #nothingbutaspaceman #desert eclipse #death metal

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elphabun · 8 years ago

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Naruto Fic Recs

I have 650 bookmarks, so I decided to go through and get my favorites.

Blackkat has over 100 amazing Naruto fics, and she’s the progenitor of the Sakumo/Orochimaru and MadaTobi ships. Check her out.

A Set-Up For A Romantic Comedy by sleepyjeesh 10.2k, KakaObi. Tiny Sakura helps set up Obito and Kakashi while Obito does nothing but pine. Too cute for words.

The Universe’s Newest Puppet by phoenixyfriend 48k, SI is reborn as Sasuke’s twin sister and starts planning for the future. A bit sad, but also hilarious and compelling. I love it so much.

Commit Ourselves Into the Depths by mirrorless 9.3k, Kagami/Tobirama, Canon-divergence, Kagami betrays a splintered Uchiha clan, and Tobirama watches. Baby Shisui is adorable. The desperation and fear and hope is perfectly conveyed. I felt so much, I love this fic.

As the Wind Blows by SparkleMoose 46.2k, Shikamaru/OC, SI is reborn as Sasuke’s twin brother and is amazing. One of the best SI fics out there. I adore it.

Nothing like the storm by Aesoleucian 1.5k, MikoKushi, Kushina meets Mikoto and a friendship is born.Among other things. It’s so good. Makes me love MikoKushi even more.

Kisame/Obito(/Rin) Soulmate Things by RoeDusk 15.8k, KisaObi, KisaObiRin, As stated it’s a collection of soulmate AUs. Love love love, it’s so good. So good. Go read it please.

Red-Eyed Black Widow by phoenixyfriend 11.2k, Natasha Romanoff is actually Karin and a badass woman is even more badass than you thought. It’s a really interesting premise; I really like it.

The Bear Incident by mirrorless 5.8k, Tobirama & Kagami. Canon-divergence. In which the Senju capture an Uchiha child. Not actually a tragedy like it may sound. It’s sweet and funny and I love it.

Just the Usual Habits by Applepie 3.9k, Sakumo’s pov on a time-travelling Kakashi. Very sweet, a bit sad, but everything turns out okay.

The Adventures of Giant Clam Man and the Raccoon Kid by bmouse 1.8k, Baby Gaara meets the ghost of the Second Mizukage. Hilarious and cute, but also kind of creepy because this is baby Gaara we’re talking about.

even sharks fail to eat their siblings sometimes by suitablyskippy 6.2k, Mangetsu is a fun brother so he lets 9yo Suigetsu tag along on an S-ranked mission, Kisame is both amused and greatly amused Fun Kiri background with a dose of murder. Kisame thinks these brothers are weird but entertaining. Very funny fic, but a bit bittersweet when you remember Suigetsu’s future.

history has its eyes on you series by tasalmalin 128.2k, 5 fics. “This five-part series is a Kakashi-centric time travel fix-it. It starts out pretty dark, but the real heart of the story is one of healing, and there are happy endings on the horizon.” The first 2 are definitely dark, the 3rd is a mix, the last 2 are healing and mainly nice. I love this series to death, it’s got that combo of tragedy with hope and humor and finally (finally) a happy ending.

In Good Company by weialala 175.2k, SasuNaru (but not the main focus) “This will sound a little ridiculous, no matter how Sasuke phrases it. I see dead people is embarrassingly tacky, and I’m half-spirit seems like something Sakura might say when she’s stoned sky high. So he settles for a shrug.” Canon is reimagined here. But its so good. Sasuke sees the dead Hokages and it’s hilarious. But also sad because war and depression are big themes here.

Yet, Mad I Am Not by Erisah_Mae 80.5k, Itachi ends up in a parallel universe where Minato survived (causing all sorts of fun things) As hilarious as it is dramatic (maybe that’s just me though), and so good

If I have to run across oceans to save you by WinterQueen 5.1k, KakaObi. Obito was 2 seconds early to Rin’s suicide and comes home Sad, but sweet. Made me all happy on the inside.

Freedom In the Eyes of Another by Oroburos69 26.3k, “The Wave Mission is a failure. Team Seven is captured. Sasuke is gone. Kakashi is next. Sakura has no choice but to be a hero.” Wonderful, there is some eye-related gore. Super intense and strangely adorable at some points.

as sure as death; by Rosse 502 w, 4th shinobi war, “on the kages, their shinobi, and dying to stop a madman.” very lovely, sad, and beautiful imagery

Following Dreams (to Doom or Desire) by Hiruma_Musuoka 39.6k, MadaTobi. Modern magic AU, with old gods and a magic university that Tobirama is in charge of. So good; I love it so much. Also pretty funny (okay it’s really funny).

Pulling My Weight by itsthechocopuff 110.3k, After Wave Sakura decides to step up her training and ends up getting Genma to help her out. Things change, especially Sakura. Also features mother-hen Genma. It’s really good and we watch Sakura gradually become the amazing badass we know she is.

So that’s all! Enjoy!

#fic recs #naruto #kakaobi #kagatobi #mikokushi #madatobi

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akiwisfics · 4 years ago

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In the Middle Chapter 4

Notes: Cross-posted from AO3. If people get annoyed by this, please savior “kiwi crossposts” to save your eyes.

Description: The war's over, but the mess is still left behind. Kasumi finds herself among the wreckage with unexpected companions and questions that seem almost impossible to answer for. Life keeps moving forward, however, and the surprises it leaves behind aren't always pleasant ones.

Pairings: KasumixSha’ira

"You know it doesn't make sense."

They were both younger, fuller faces and brighter eyes that met each other. Well, Khalisah's did. She never lost the predatory, eagle-like gleam, ever the skeptic that she had spent many nights debating about with Keiji. There was never a point to her tirades, he had thought. Something that only generated fear. But she learned a long time ago that some of the monsters they raged about were very real, and came, whether anyone was truly ready for them or not.

There were still creases around her almond eyes, which told Kasumi that she was older than her, though the years that were between them seemed so insignificant. No. That conversation had never been about truth, the nature and reality of her reappearance.

She was two people. A thief. A woman. A woman that sometimes still seemed like a small, scared child that still rebelled when given the chance. Still tried to fight a master that wasn't there. Grief had something to do with that. It wound her up so tightly, left her with shreds of a stilted idea of herself-- something that was easily covered with the thief. But she hadn't been the thief then.

She'd been lied to. When she was picked up from the mud and the blood that had been casing her ankles, a promise had been made. They'd search for traces of her family, and after months, she was told there had been nothing left. Whatever her parents had left the colonies for no longer existed.

Kasumi had always been very curious, and never had really trusted the words anyone had told her. The batarians, Kiera, and dear, sweet Keiji had always taught her one thing: if promises were made, sooner or later, they would be broken. Everyone knew how to lie, everyone had something to gain or lose. Fear drove her as a woman.

"I don't want to be here either, believe me. Whatever you had been through is something no one needs thrown back in your face."

She didn't, not really, but even still, it wasn't Khalisah's fault, and really, it wasn't her aunt's either. They'd been told there weren't any survivors in the raid, perhaps to ease the mind on where their children, siblings, friends could've gone. The tears that fell so freely from her aunt had moved her, and though, perhaps, it was too much to hope for, she couldn't help the excitement inside of her at her aunt's promises. She would be taken care of. She wouldn't need to worry about anything.

A relaxing, retired life had been appealing, but weeks have passed now. And Kasumi was bored. Very bored. The hurt and grief had burned into an anger that wasn't being quenched by time. His death needed action, answers that weren't going to be here. But she hadn't been ready to walk away yet, and that day, all she could think about was how irritating this woman was, coming into a place she was trying to make a home, and asking questions that no one wanted answered.

They were happy that she had simply made it home, so it made sense when her aunt started talking to the neighbors about her niece's miraculous return.

"You have to admit there are a lot of holes here. You didn't just leave the batarians," she pointed out. Like there was something righteous about it. "I've talked to other former slaves. You're too educated, too... put together."

Oh, she had always known how to hide that.

"Why did you come back now? Why not earlier?"

She looked down, noted the rich purples and oranges in the journalist's dress. She'd seen plenty like it in high-class parties that she would wade through, silently or sometimes, playing along just to make the theft that much harder on the gracious hosts. It always drove them crazy when Kasumi would play guest. Khalisah had been to many that Kasumi raided, and she had always enjoyed the articles that would follow the morning. She had flair, and though she seemed to enjoy the living, was never so sympathetic with her targets.

She had planned to never see her again, so instead, Kasumi had remained silent. Eventually, Khalisah would get tired, and eventually, her grandmother came to escort her out of the home-- already a silent, brooding watcher by the doorway to ensure no damage happened during the interview.

Thinking about it, her and Sha'ira would've gotten along. They were both that strange, almost awe-inspiring sort of person that knew when to speak and how to sway minds with words. Even with age, her grandmother commanded the room with wisdom and a presence of mind. Even from those short, few weeks they had known each other before she died, she learned plenty enough.

But now, her memory soured with the sheer confidence that was plain on Khalisah's face.

"You think I wouldn't recognize you?"

It'd been too much to hope for, on what was already one of the worst days of her life.

"It'd make a great story: the greatest thief in this galaxy coming out of slavery?" And the jeer was almost too much. "Maybe I should contact Mr. Kitt. He could make a nice, long boring play about it. Might actually be good."

"You've made your point. ... Please tell me it took a minute at least."

"Not really. Other than that stupid haircut you haven't changed much. It's hard to rebel against dead parents, isn't it?"

She tried to cover the grimace that formed on her face, but without her hood, it was next to pointless. "It's practical."

"Uh-huh."

They weren't getting anywhere like this, and this was a whole lot less funny and a whole lot less advantageous on her side. Damnit. Playing hard to get never really suited Kasumi anyway, not when it backfired so much. "Blackmail doesn't seem you."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Ms. Goto. All I need to know is whether or not we have a deal."

"With conditions, I imagine."

"Of course. You get Intel from the ground, maybe cozy up to STG, and hell, maybe the consort while you're at it, and I'll keep you out of the footage. Maybe even paint you as an innocent refugee being falsely accused by the Citadel's puppets."

She shrugged. "That sounds fun. Why Sha'ira though?"

Khalisah quieted for a moment, her brow furrowing. Maybe to distract herself from the question, she stoked her fire a little. "... I don't think she's all she says she is."

It sounded familiar, maybe not recently, but whispers she heard sometimes when she simply watched. Some of them were bitter ex-customers, but others, it was as if they knew better, and were right to be cautious. All of them pushing the idea that there was something more about the consort, a dangerous aspect beneath the facade. Whatever truth was involved in that was beyond her, maybe one she didn't really need to know.

"You'd know better than most anyone, I think," Khalisah mumbled, almost to herself, "When someone's hiding something. I'd be careful around her, Ms. Goto. ... Just a thought."

"That's cute. My blackmailer's showing concern for me."

She shrugged. "No information if you're dead."

Why did it have to be murder?

Kasumi had met plenty in her life, maybe more murderers than well... regular people. You present a death to them, and unless it's someone they know, it's always treated as business-as-usual. That's how it worked with the batarians, omega, illium, and even the Normandy. After 27 years, she could recognize when someone's hands were bloody.

Sha'ira? Not so much, and the fact that Khalisah had implied otherwise before she left had nearly been laughable to her. That was a weight to be carried, and while she believed the consort kept plenty of burdens to herself, the death of another was hardly one of them. It occupied her mind more than it should have as she made her way back to STG camp. She had been gone long enough to cause alarm, that much Kasumi was certain.

However, the reaction was... underwhelming save for one exception. The camp was quiet, peaceful in its stillness, only broken by the distant roll of thunder. They'd want to make it back before the rain started. She wasn't looking to get drenched, and by now, the others would've wondered about where the shuttle had disappeared to. Dinner wouldn't be anything spectacular, but the reminder that she would live long enough to taste it was tempting enough.

The squishing footsteps behind her interrupted her thoughts. "If you had a death wish, Ms. Goto, I would have provided the gun for you."

She turned her heel to greet the major, playfully smirking back. "I'm sure Samara mentioned where I was going?"

"Half hour's a long time for the restroom."

"And you're going to deny my basic needs too?"

He sighed, clearly frustrated.

"If you really thought I was doing something wrong, I would be in cuffs already. Or dead. Depends on how trigger happy your group is."

"I have enough authority to arrest you on the spot. Please don't make that a tempting offer."

So there was another reason they were refraining from it. Something told her history with Shepard had little to do with it. "Well. Sha'ira has a way with words, doesn't she?" It was a nice diversion, one the Major seemed eager to take. "How long have you known her?"

"I'd hardly call it that," he coughed into his hand weakly before glancing back to one of the tents, likely where she would find her escort. "... We all get a little tired of death, and a few of my men-- she seems to help them forget for a while."

"You sound almost jealous."

"It takes a certain sort of person to do what we do, Ms. Goto. You shouldn't forget that."

She hadn't, but this was a world that beckoned her. Sometimes it was difficult to remember that wasn't always the case. But he was good enough to be there, even to stand leader of some of the best operatives the salarians had to offer.

Kasumi laughed before roughly patting his shoulder. He immediately jumped and hunched his shoulders, looking back with a wild glance. She only returned it with a grin. "No one gets to the top of the food chain without a few scars, you know. Be happy it didn't kill you first."

He blinked once, twice before he sighed. "The same applies to you, I suppose?"

"You've already seen a few."

"I really should show this to Bau."

"Is he still around?" Now that was a name she hadn't heard in a while. Reapers tended to distract everyone, and faking death stopped most pursuits in their tracks. When she finished with Earth, she might have the time again to humor him. Maybe.

"Oh yes, you seem very concerned about that."

"A salarian spectre would have access to your database, wouldn't he?" Or she could just delete it later. The damage with Khalisah was irreparable at the moment, but that little trace, if it was left behind in a server somewhere, she could find it. One person figuring out the whole story was enough.

"Communication has been less than optimal for that right now." He pinched the bridge of his... nose? (Was it a nose? There were two holes there, not unlike a snake, she thought), and seemed ready to brush her off. "I want nothing to do with you right now, so stay out of trouble. You've said what I needed."

"About the crucible?"

He stopped, scowling deeply. "... Shepard may have mistrusted you, but I realize that you using those blueprints was beyond you, so to speak."

"If it helps, you put on a good show." She saw a flap move and the sound of laughter as Sha'ira exited, a look of relief washed over her face. "What's going on here then?"

Kirrahe shrugged. "If you really wanted to know, I'm sure you know where to start digging. Not that we'll make it easy."

It's why she liked them so much. Another day, and Kasumi wouldn't have minded staying, maybe with a nicer meeting, less cameras, less aggression. But the line had been drawn, and the clash of thunder was drawing closer. Kasumi could already feel the warmth of her sleep roll; taste the dying embers of their fire, ashy, gritty. It wasn't home, but it was much closer to it than it was here.

And the longer she waited, the more she knew lightning striking down Khalisah's campsite was extremely unlikely-- no matter how much she wished that destructive force of nature was driven by vain wish fulfillment.

By the time they actually reached their own campsite, dinner seemed like the most unappealing event in the entire galaxy. The ride back had been quiet, but the tension of the interrogation and her own lies lingered between them with that sense of dread and foreboding that she always felt about big conversations. Big conversations meant confronting her actions, and usually, stuff being thrown at her, or tears. Ugh, she hated crying.

She hated people crying around her. Talk to her about your problems all day, fine, but as soon as the blubbering started, she'd just grow uncomfortable. It wasn't so much unwelcomed, but a lack of really knowing what to do really curbed the enthusiasm.

Talking was fun, fine, but social situations weren't... really her thing. So to be dragged into a tight spot about her own history and nearly being killed for it? Not fun. Not fine. She skipped dinner, quickly and quietly retreating to her tent for the evening, just as the first few rain drops began.

Finding and starting the QEC had been done without thinking, but it'd been long enough she thought. Not since she contacted the others. She turned it on, made the right numbers, and waited for the static to clear up.

A turian greeted her, ashen white plate and recognizable charcoal armor. A smile eased on Kasumi's face, now more relaxed just at the sight of one of her students, and perhaps the rain too swallowing everything outside her tent.

"Urch."

"Hey, Boss."

"How are you two settling in?"

He stretched his talons out, and could briefly see a clawed finger or two out from the screen. The chair he was seated in looked much more comfortable than the cot she had planted herself on. The apartment seemed so much better right now, but no, she was stubborn about this-- for no real reason.

"Well enough," he shrugged. "Neighbors haven't looked twice with us moving in. The volus next door? He mentioned you taking stragglers sometimes..."

"That's a long story."

"Uh. Okay." He tapped on the table in front of him, and hopefully, just took it as one of her many 'eccentricities.' That's what they called it, right? Being a boss, being a teacher was too often a role that seemed too big to fill, like an outfit most perfectly designed for someone that was like her, but still, still someone else. "Tianna's may have gotten a little carried away with it. You know she likes that Robin Hood idea."

"That's what you're there for."

"And what, exactly, are we doing, Boss? I didn't sign up to sit on my ass, while you go play charity."

"For all you know, this could be my home your shit-talking, Urch~"

He chuckled. "A dump like that? You wouldn't have last this long."

"Shepard did."

"Except not."

She was 29 when the reaper war started, still two-three years her senior. Instead of London, she hailed from New York, and tore her way through gangs and poverty to the Alliance, and then to the spectre that often was hailed as a martyred hero. The official history excised three quarters of her actual history and personality-- and even still, the gang part had to be dug out through weeks of searching through extranet files.

When the Cerberus contract was offered to her, of a promise that she still kept in the duffle bag, tucked off to an unviewed corner, she wanted to know everything there was to know about Commander Shepard. It was natural for her own safety, and to know that the promise that she wouldn't be followed after the job was done would be one fully kept. The legend only told so much-- a quarter just shit that people liked to hear.

Talking did help. She couldn't count the days she would find Shepard waiting in her bedroom with a drink between them and a story to share. They were similar, except not, and the differences were enough to keep them entertained. She didn't make friends. It just wasn't something that came up often taking, but Shepard. Shepard had been a wonderful surprise.

She should be mad for how quickly Urch dismissed Shepard, but instead, Kasumi simply smiled. "Don't be surprised if she turns out alive a few weeks from now."

"A crashing space station would stop most people."

"Some parts of the official story is true, you know."

Urch shook his head. "I'm sure your sense of humor entertains everyone else, Boss, but it doesn't me. How's your sight?"

Sometimes the sunlight still burned, making her tear on the brighter days. Luckily London was a murky, dreary, sorry state of a ruin, and the rain had been a more present companion than the sun. "It's holding up."

He sighed in relief. "With you so close to where it all happened, I couldn't be sure."

"The wonder of a good doctor, huh?"

"And a good investor?"

Her frown was taut. There was only but so long before the asari would've been brought up. Before Kiera would be brought up. The name still felt stained in her tongue, enough to spit out the poison. "Has she been by yet?"

"So you expect her to?" He jeered, mandibles flickering. "That sorta honesty would've been nice before you went off, huh?" But then he unbristled and seemed to relax with each bit of the sigh that escaped. "The answer is no by the way."

"Then we're fine, aren't we?"

"Hardly!" Still, he laughed, the double-tone of a typical turian making it almost vibrate in the air. "Might I suggest not throwing away our one source of money and cover that doesn't rely on us getting it from work?"

"If you're good enough, it doesn't matter." Personal business was just that, and truly, she hadn't wanted any of them to get involved either. There was no avoiding it though, and the inch of her influence was drawing closer and closer to them the longer she stayed. Kasumi could bide time, but how much more could she really afford?

"That--"

There was a tap on the side of her tent, feathery-light, just barely heard above the steady downpour. "Ms. Maeda?"

"Oh. Company, hm? Should I leave you to it?"

Kasumi glanced over and could just make out the silhouette of Sha'ira along its side, stretched out to something almost monstrous, like old nightmares that haunted her as a child. "Yes, but one last thing," she glanced back to the screen with an eased smile. "Check on Khalisah Bint Sinan Al-Jilani. Anything that seems incriminating, I don't care what's going on, send it over."

He blinked. "... The tabloid reporter?"

She turned the QEC off, just as Sha'ira zipped the tent flap down. "Am I interrupting anything?" she asked as she poked her head inside. The crown of tentacles remained dry.

"You're fine."

The snap of an umbrella closing and Sha'ira slipped inside, gown trailing at her ankles and a smile that had suggested nothing from earlier that day. She turned with fluidity, zipping the tent back closed. "Somehow I'm not surprised your tent is rather... sparse."

"I like to pack light."

She chuckled and with a small nod, swept down to her cot, sitting poised at the corner. Enough to have distance but situate herself comfortably. "It's a common trend with you, I've noticed. You'll give a little, then leave plenty of questions behind."

"And you're so different?"

Sha'ira leaned back on her palms, staring holes into the tent wall in thought. Her lips curled again. "... Very well. My last name is Dantius."

That. That made her pause. "You mean that--?"

"Yes." The smile on her face was thin, veiled with thoughts that weren't privy to her. "I can't be surprised you would have been familiar with my sisters. You're different, certainly, but... they made a name for themselves."

"How can you be sure?" It came out before she could realize, and looked back at her questioning gaze with mental loops, trying to reach for the question again and take it back. "This could be some trick in the end. I could turn around the very next morning and take everything here at the camp." You could've saved someone who didn't need it, and make the biggest mistake imaginable. It wasn't so much that she would, given the chance, but Sha'ira. Sha'ira didn't know better, shouldn't have known better. She didn't like people helping her for the sake of it. It always came back later as something they could dig up, use as a receipt for a debt that hadn't been repaid.

She may not have been a killer, but the motives that were kept tightly against Sha'ira's chest were too beyond her reach to be comfortable.

"You didn't keep the crucible documents." There was that familiar smile again, almost aching and too much. "If you were motivated by greed alone, you would have known how much people would pay for those blueprints. Though, rest assured, knowing your limit is about all I know about you."

But a limit was just as good as anything. It meant the fingers weren't going to be pointed at her first, and every little action wouldn't be scrutinized by the people that knew better. She wouldn't be thrown back to the STG camp at every little impulse that drove her. It was enough of a realization to relax Kasumi, and to alleviate some of the pressure, she offered a teasing remark. "You mean knowing that I'm a notorious criminal isn't good enough for you? You're a tough one to please, Consort."

"You will just have to look a little harder, I'm sure." And what a pleasant surprise to get a tease in response. "Recognizing a point on a spider web doesn't stop you from being trapped by it... though it helps sooner or later."

"I thought you didn't see me as a danger."

She chuckled again, though this time it sounded rather dark as she tapped Kasumi's chin. "You've read too much into my words. You're an unique wonder, certainly, but to ignore your reputation would be suicide... as made up it may or may not be."

"You flirt."

"Now, now. You were the one insisted in coming into my home on first meeting."

"Workplace."

"Still an invasion of privacy."

Kasumi laughed. "Ohhh. So you're here for an apology?"

She picked at the sheets on the cot idly, furrowing at the color she thought. It was just a plain blue, nothing special. Perhaps that was why. "Reasoning," she answered. "Now that I know more, your actions then prove less..."

"Sensible?"

"Not quite..."

She was stalling too. Kasumi didn't know the reason, or couldn't quite explain it out loud-- not in a way that Sha'ira would be satisfied with, she thought. Still, there were only so many ways she could duck from those prying eyes, especially when they stayed in her tent. Maybe Sha'ira recognized that in some form, and that's why she wasn't pushing it. In the silence, she could see her looking elsewhere at what little was left in the confines of her tent, save for the occasional glint of metal in her duffle bag. Was her gun or the grey-box? Either weren't very good, but it was buried enough by clothes and a duvet for colder nights to stave away prying eyes.

And really, what would be the point in saying anything at all? To anyone else, her actions would've been regarded as creepy and almost possessive, someone who could be seen as fanatical at best and malicious at worst. Yet an invitation had been made to her, one with an open hand and an open ear, and still now, Kasumi wasn't really sure what to do with it. Until her reveal as herself came, she should've been nothing to her, and yet--

"Tell me something," Kasumi began. "Did you even have time for me?"

"Then?" Sha'ira shrugged. "It's usually not a matter of if I have it, but can I make the time. To me, it was more important that I understood the motives of an apparent benign onlooker."

"And you knew I was?"

"Of course." She pointedly stared at her, a knowing look in her eyes. "The nice thing about being a public figure is that you learn that feeling when someone is watching you. Eyes boring into your back." Kasumi knew where this was going. "I will give you, having nothing to reinforce the feeling hid you for a few days, but that office is my sanctuary as well. When something is different, I will notice it."

She shouldn't, but still, Kasumi smiled.

"After I realized I had a watcher, I kept an eye on the items in the room, oversaw the accounts personally too. Nothing was touched." The smile bloomed and she saw it-- the mysticism there, the sort that trapped people in, but it was the sort that excited her instead. Indeed, indeed, there was something more to the consort. "To think, a thief wanted nothing to do with my items? You had stopped being a thief in that room. You were simply a woman instead."

Two people, and yet, still one identity in it with a hundred names in between. There was something true about her words, in the way she could stay in the presence of others and feel small, feel nothing, as she would blindly watch. She learned so much becoming part of the room, and no one, save for that one glaring exception in front of her never looked hard enough.

"What I propose here, Ms. Goto, is not knowing the reputation-- it's you." Her hand fell to her knee, squeezing gently. "... If you are comfortable, of course."

Her breath hitched and the sigh that followed came out more as a breathy laugh. "I have a deal then." The interest that sparked in her blue eyes was enough to push her forward. "Let's just... fucking forget the titles here. At the very least, those people out there don't know mine." Her foot tapped restlessly against the tent floor. "And you-- you need a connection here in this rotten place."

"Putting words in my mouth?"

"Am I wrong here?" She continued without thinking. "Even if I am, whatever. It's not important. You and I hardly that different from each other. So. I want to see how deep those similarities go."

The smile that was returned to her was at ease.

"So humor me. Please."

Sha'ira squeezed the knee tightly, relieving a sigh-- perhaps at a thought that she would ask for more. Truth was a difficult word though, and it seeped out every day that she still lived with bigger and bigger lies to fill. "Friends then?"

"Friends it is."

#kiwi crossposts #mass effect #fanfiction #multichapter fics #kasumi goto

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hey-kids-want-some-avengers · 8 years ago

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1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99,100 (lol, I'm sorry)

Holy mother of- alright, I did this to myself. Answers are below the cut!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal! I’m hella lactose intolerant so I rarely even have milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Sometimes, it depends if I was already too cold or not.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Usually I use drawings or a bit of cardboard.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I take my tea with a little honey and my coffee with lots of flavored creamer.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? VERY MUCH YES

6: do you keep plants? Cacti mostly:)

7: do you name your plants? YEP

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Pencil or acrylic, though I’m digging clay now.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I spend almost every hour of every day singing, it’s one of my absolute favorite things!

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back or side depending on how my jaw is doing.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? OH GoD, so many...

12: what's your favorite planet? Mars >3

13: what's something that made you smile today? I got to spend all day with my pupper AND I got called for an interview tomorrow.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Brick walls, lots of floor space for art, ect. a window seat, high ceilings and a cozy atmosphere please and thank you.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of our solar systems mass is the sun. :3

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Baked Penne!

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? It’s already blue but I wanna do it red, orange and yellow at some point for a crazy fire look.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. The time I jumped off the lid to my friends hot tub and hit my head, knocking myself unconscious and almost dying.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Kinda, it’s mostly art and random facts??

20: what's your favorite eye color? Blue

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My art bag that looks like a freaking paint towel at this point.

22: are you a morning person? Ye!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Write, draw, take a bath and bake.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yes, my bestfren Chloe -w-

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? An abandoned house down the block while chasing a cat. There was some guy sleeping in there.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My red Converse!

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Wintergreen

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset, for sure.

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? She blushes in her ears and gets really shy around guys.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Umm, yes. When my mom had emergency surgery.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. OKAY, I LIKE SOCKS, I WEAR EM ALL THE TIME AND THEY NEVER MATCH. BOOM.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I went to down my iced tea and found out too late that it was my dads whiskey and I got drunk off my ass.

33: what's your fave pastry? oooh, I love pastries with all my heart, probably lemon bars.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s in my room somewhere, a little weasel puppet named “wonder weasel” and I made him a mask.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes, I keep at least one on me at all times.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Panic!

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I reaaaaally like it clean but it never happens. I’m a pig.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! I hate when people never show up on time, ignore me when I’m talking to check their phones and I hate when people pretend to like me.

39: what color do you wear the most? Black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? It’s a bumble bee necklace my sister got me and I love it.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The book thief.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! It’s a local place here and they make really pretty pastries and coffee, it’s very modern inside but it��s cozy and everyone’s super nice. It smells like autumn leaves and spices.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? myself???

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Last week in a bath tbh

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes and no? It kinda depends but I usually second guess myself.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I changed my ipods name to titanic. It’s syncing now. (I hate myself)

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? LETTUCE

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Burning alive, and it kinda is kinda isn’t still.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I like to but I never have money, the last one was a panic! at the disco cd.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? Fish????? I have five tanks in my room ok????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Can’t help falling in love with you and phantom of the opera (my gf) IM CHEESEY

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? THEY ALL SUCK

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I’ve seen all but pulp fiction and I adore them all, beetlejuice is one of my favorite movies.

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Besides myself idk

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? I don’t even know honestly.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Their sense of humor, laugh and comfortableness.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Doesn’t it always?!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? My friend hates wine but is totally the wine mom, sooo that makes me the vodka aunt bc I only have one friend.

59: what's your favorite myth? Icarus

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? YES! I love the raven, tyger and the tell tale heart??

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Socks for received I guess? Probably the dumbest thing I’ve given was a dirty shirt to my friend????

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Almost always, grape or orange usually.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I’m really particular about them and I don’t let anyone touch em.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Ink black.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? My gf..; ;

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Seashells, blue flowers and tiny pink ones, probably a lil glitter.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? They feel relaxing to me.

68: what's winter like where you live? ITS LIKE A NEVER ENDING HELLL

69: what are your favorite board games? Fury of Dracula, d&d, ect.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Yep! I own one.

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? cranberry??

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? YES. My ADHD is scary bad ok.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Not eating healthily/not drinking enough, secluding myself.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Humorous, kind and caring and wonderful and supporting. The most fantastic person to live.

75: tell us about your pets! OK!!!!!! I have three cats, a tabby (ponyo), a massive grey one(rory) and a smol floofy white and black one(lydia). I have four betta fish, Lafayette, Remus, Pietro, and Marvel. I have 12 guppy/platty and I could list their names but I wontttt, and my sweet pupper girl, Matilda

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Writing requests..............

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? HATE

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My girlfriend sent me chocolates and my fren bought me a bee pillow, they’re pretty great.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Light purple and I didn’t choose them, my mom painted that room before she got sick so I kept it.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Deep sand washing over dark beaches and charcoal mixed in a vat of dark clay.

82: are/were you good in school? No, not really. I listened tho

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Pretty odd, believers never die, infinity on high

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have two right now and I have MANY more planned.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? OF COURSE, CAPTAIN AMERICA AND DEADPOOL, SANDMAN EVEN THO THAT DON’T REALLY COUNT.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? um? Nirvana? Am I doing this right?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Perks of being a wall flower, three idiots.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? All of them??

89: are you close to your parents? I like to think so

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Ohhh um, I dunno, probably Denver?? I’m really isolated.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m going to Denver for a concert and a huge road trip to California this summer to see my family.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? It GoN DRoWN SOn

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Down. It’s too short for anything.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My grandpa

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Hanging with my fren and watching shameless.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Sadly, I put them off until it does it automatically. I regret it every time.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Advocate, Taurus, hufflepuff!

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Yesterday and I loved it.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Hamilton tbh, think of me, riptide and I found.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Five years into the past because I’m not fucking ready to grow up.

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