#also i love my pimento child

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Captain Holt Plots (B99): RIP Andre Braugher

Andre Braugher 1962-2023

So as if this year hadn't piled enough death on me.. yesterday Andre Braugher of Brooklyn 99 fame died. Braugher was a comedic genius, great at drama and it's sad to see him go just as his career was having one hell of a second act.

Figuring out how to honor Andre.. was tough. I didn't have time for a full review of some of his best episodes, a story arc or the normal things i'd do, and a list of just Holt's best moments wouldn't really portray the characters depth. Don't get me wrong there's a LOT of hilarious little holt moments from "Hot damn!" to "Bam had it both ways" but it just didn't do the character justice. Holt was a character funny for his stoicism, his outburst of emotion clashing with that, and his chemistry with just about everyone on cast.

So I found a comprimise, something small I could do before my two bigger reviews this week, but something that still pays full service to what a great character Raymond Holt was... and how much of it was Braugher's amazing comedic timing and great dramatic talent. Ray MIGHT of existed without Captain Holt, but he wouldn't of been such a JOY to watch every time if it weren't for Braugher.

So I picked my 12 faviorite plots starring Captain Holt. Husband, Captain, Robot. Meeep Morp.

12. VINDICATTTTITOOOOOONNNN (Episode: Monster in the Closet)

Look a lot of this subplot making it here is this moment, from the fist pump to just how Braugher plays the word like an instrument, but the plot itself is comedy gold: Rosa Diaz, bisexual icon, is having a rush wedding to absentee boyfriend and human disaster Adrian Pimento, who returned after months in hiding the way anyone having a normal one does: by hiding in a child's closet.

Naturally this wedding didn't end up happening.. but it did bring us one of Holt's best running gags: his love of balloon arches. It's something that makes perfect character sense: he's a perfectionist, he loves art, and it's just weird enough to still be funny while not so weird you can't understand why Holt would be doing this. Holt pettily popping the ballons when crticized and going into a creative tailspin over minor critcisims is just gold and the payoff, him getting his VINDIIIICAAAATTTIOOOONNNNNN is both sweet.. and purespun gold from the highest of heavens.

11. The Disco Strangler Returns (He Said She Said) One of the serious episodes of the series, dealing with Amy and Jake tackling a sexual harassment case and Amy revealing her own assault, was paired with one of the series silliest, funnest b-plots.

This one COULD be here just on the strength of "And you'll here it again" but has way more to offer as Holt chases down his former nemesis the Disco Strangler after he seemingly dies, convinced he's alive while Terry and Boyle are convinced he just can't accept his enemey's death. Turns out their wrong though as the Strangler is alive, worked his groovy voodoo on a way younger woman and has one of the funniest scenes in the show as Holt TRIES to have a big action hero final talk with his nemisis.. only for the man to be largely deaf. It's a gag that shoudln't work but Baugher's commitment to the bit carries it, as does the reality of the strangler being so old and feeble hitting Raymond about his own mortality.

10. The Heists (Various Episodes)

Yeah this one's a bit of a cheat as it was hard to pick just one Heist Plot: After the first two their largely ensemble pieces. But it'd also be criminal to ignore just how SERIOUS Holt takes the annual halloween heists, from training his dog for them, to calling a fake replacement for Cheddar (the goodest of boys) "This bitch?", the Heists brought out the pettiest, hammiest parts of holt and the best of Braugher's comedey from threatning to slit his two protege's "from head to anus and wear them as a jacket", to his flight of the valkyries entrance, Holt was always a delight.

9. Pie (Two Turkey's) The shows final thanksgiving gave us it's best thanksgiving plot, and a nice spotlight on Holt's relationship with his Husband , kevin. Holt's queerness was baked into the character, being why it took him so long to climb the latter and why Kevin takes ab it to warm up to his new coworkers, as most of Ray's past coworkers were racist, homophobic or both. Holt and Kevin were just as weirdly stoic, with Mark Evan Jackson having great chemistry with Braugher.

The couple also just had their own weird things such as getting a special pie every year to get a pie for thanksgiving and finding the hours spent in dead silence on the trip deeply romantic.

Said pie is also what sets off the plot as it goes missing and Holt blames the presicnt and goes into full petty holt mode, one of the best kinds of holt. HOlt isn't the only star here as near constant fuckups and wallpaper Hitchcock and Scully prove useful for once as Holt investigates Rosa, Terry and Boyle. We get great moments from the three too as Boyle calls his own son "a basic bitch" and Rosa reveals an embarassing minons t-shirt as she rebonds with her family post jailtime.

Holt interogating everyone and going full ham would be enough to land it here.. but what elevates it to this slot is the ending: Holt finds out the culprit was Kevin, who hates the pie but would miss the drive. HOlt suggests simply.. taking the drive for fun and Kevin is super horny for that. It's adorable, sweet and a great capper to one of the shows best subplots.

8. Let's Never Talk About Anything (Stakeout)

This is a quick one as it's mostly on the comedy but it's a scenario that's both deeply, deeply funny, and involves one of the shows best duos: Rosa, the stoic bicon herself, and Holt. Both being stoic queer persons, they naturally get along great. And of course it's natural Rosa ends up the one in a very awkward situation through almost no fault of her own: Holt brings his cardboard standee of a human being Nephew named Marcus, whose staying with him for some reason never elaborated upon because Marcus is here for one thing: to date rosa and have one of the best awkward morning afters EVER: He tries to sneak rosa out.. only for Holt and Kevin to naturally both be up, and his using her full name and mild confusion are just.. great. The wrap up, that Rosa and Holt are both FINE not talking about this or anything ever, is great. The followup plot with the two forced into a dinner is fine, but this first interaction and the two being on the same stoic page is gold.

7. Apparently That's a Trigger For Me (The Box)

This is another one that has a strong moment couched in, but really the Box is just a very strong episode, a tense 22 minutes as Jake and Holt team up to try and get a confession out of a local dentist played by sexiest man alive Sterling K Brown, who does great getting under their skin, including with said doctor bit as Docterates are a bit of a trigger for Holt. the episodes fantastic chess match between our faviorite duo and Brown is just fun to watch and it's only this low because Jake gets the big finale. But Holt's oh damns are still vital. As is his over the top reservation cancelation. God bless this man. I miss you andre.

6. They never actually said No (Full Boyle)

Like, really, ALL of these there's a classic gag couched in here as Holt explains how he formed his black gay and lesbian police orginzation: he pitched it to his fellow entirely white and certainly straight cops who laughed their asses off.. then went ahead and got the funds since they were too busy being jackassses to say no. Dark, hilarious, and perfectly showing just how much shit holt's been through trying to get here.

And that background helps shape this plot which while not laugh FREE is mostly anchored on the good Captain's character journey: when a younger officer plans to challenge holt for predsency, Holt, as you'd expect digs in and refuses. He's not at full ham yet, but he's still fully willing to fight tooth and nail for this, that after all he had to go just to make this group, brian wouldn't understand

It's Gina of all characters who points out that's why he made the group. So younger officers wouldn't have to go through that. Brian has new ideas to genuinely improve and open up the doors for more queer black officers, and Holt recognizes that and steps aside.. though if he screws up he will impeach him. He's happy for him but he will impeach him.

5. I've Glanced At His Work Satchel (The Honeypot)

This episode's a-plot is just one long hilaroius bit of holt deadpanning as he gets a new assitant to replace Gina.. only to find the guy flirting with him. Having his tie slightly ajar and inviting him to a barrel museum counts as flirting in Holt's book. Turns out Gordon is a spy for our heroes latest nemisiss, corrupt comissioner kelly, and this brings this plot to ahead as finding out, and getting evidence hw as actively spying on them finally gets rid of the old bastard. It's a nice payoff.. but it's really here because Holt declaring a barrel museum an erotically charged atmosphere is classic deadpan holt. If you want premium deadpan holt, this is your episode.

4. Terry Come Here and Dangle Me Off the Edge of this Building (Bad Beat)

This episode is one of my faviorites, having both a lot of rich character stuff for holt.. and a lot of funny deadpan for holt.

This ep reawakens something that's mostly come up previously as a joke: holt had a serious gambling addiction in his past and when Jake and Terry come to him for help with a poker case, Holt's forced to join in as the two have obvious tells.

Holt's relapse is a nice mix of hilaroius and deeply troubling: he's betting on childrenj's gymnastics (No jayla don't drop the baton!) runs up to the roof when the pagent's cut off and as seen above wants Terry to dangle him over a roof.. Braugher does a hell of a job threading a very narrow needle here: Hotl's antics are funny, but still jarring enough to be worrying.. .and the laughter stop when Jake pulls the one card he has... he'll tell kevin, an idea alone that DEVISTATES holt as he can't put kevin through that again.

Unfortunately it's not THAT easy as Holt goes rogue.. then nearly gets captured, having to use improper grammar and admitting he needs help. Ther'es no easy answers here and while granted Holt's addiction never comes up again.. it's a sign addiction dosen't go away easily and everyone needs help.

3. The System (Moo Moo) Props to Brooklyn 99 as depsite being a cop show, it pointed out many a problem in the NYPD and police in general long before George Floyd made it too loud to ignore for us white dumbasses.

This episode is the main showcase of that: while the show had plenty of corrupt cops for our heroes to foil, Moo Moo shows the system ITSELF is broken and ther'es no easy answer to fix it.

The setup is simple, heartbreakingly common, and painful: Terry goes out at night in his nice neighborhood looking for one of his daughters "moo moo", her faviorite toy.. only to get accosted by a police officer, with only the fact he IS an officer making this end well.

Terry does try to handle this peacefully, inviting the guy to lunch, and trying to explain why racial profiling him like that was fucking awful. The officer dosen't listen, only thinks he was wrong because Terry is also a cop, and is generally a dick.

This leaves terry, who has a promotion on the table, with a fairly simple path: report the son of a bitch. Except .. HOlt dosne't send it in. Holt wants Terry to stay quiet, so Terry can get promoted. it's one of the oldest fights in a broken system: Should you make noise and take care of something horrible immdeitly, or stay quite and let harm go on so you can do more good later. The latter is clearly Holt's go to not out of corruption but out of survival: as a black gay cop, he had no real allies for the longest time, and thus had to simply keep his nose to the ground and work his way up to where he had real power. Terry on the other hand, argues, rightly that he dosen't want another man like him to go through this, one without a badger and that his career... simply isn't worth more innocnet black men being arrested falsely. There isn't an easy resolution with both acknowlding each others point: Holt supports terry and gets the guy fired, but Terry is passed over impliclty as a result and admits he could've impacted more change. Terry still did the right thing.. but it wasn't the easy thing. Police.. .simply aren't set up to properly police themselves and change is needed and it was noble of b99 to point that out without going over the top with it.

2. BOONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE (The Skyfire Cycle)

Okay look while this plot is good on it's own (I"m teaching father the math!) it's up this high ENTIRELY due to the Bone Scene. You've seen it, i've seeen it, it's the reason this plot goes from "pretty good" with Rosa seeing through holt's math problem to his marital issues and need to get laid, and Amy trying hard to impress her dads and acting lik ea grossed out child anytime holt's sex life comes up. This bit belongs to braugher.. but you NEED Beatriz and Fumero to set it up so perfectly and react so great to it.

Rosa being rosa just comes out and says "You just need to bone" and holt LOOOSES IT.

Every line from that moment is pure poetry from Braugher's mouth, from his squeaky "what'dyousay" to his shakesperean "hooooowww dare you detective diaz I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER." and of course his glorious shouts of BONE and BONNNNENEEEEE while he VIBRATES ON HIS DOORFRAME. His quick yups in the resolution are the cheery on top of the greatest comedy sundae ever conducted by man. Sports. This subplot hinges on one joke.. but when it's the series best joke, it's REALLY hard to argue. It's only not #1.. because our #1 is CRAMMED with jokes near this level.

Ding Dong The Wuntch Is Dead (Ding Dong)

Ding Dong is one of my faviorite episodes of B99. Even it's subplot's grown on me with Terry bending a quarter in mid air and the strawberry basket. But let's face it while the subplot is.. kay, it's the main event that makes it a classic and when I do the inevetible top 12 list, possibly for feburary, this episode is almost guarnateed a spot for damn good reason.

If your wondering why I haven't brought up Holt's legendary rivarly with Madeline Wuntch it's because while their all fucking gold, their teid into larger plots. And while this one kinda is, with Wuntch's death wrapping up Holt's time as a patrol officer, it's really just there to sned the character off and give us one of the funniest episodes in human history.

Everything about Holt's petty rivarly with Wuntch that makes it one of the best thigns in the show is on display here and the shock I had to the opening of ding dong was palpable: Holt's making his usual jabs, calling her a korean tolilet ghost (and having gone to korea just to find new monsters to call her).. before Terry, trying and failing to head this off drops the bomb: Wuntch is dead. Naturally Holt dosen't buy it, assuming we'd hear the children singing (all the childrne everywhere), and having to see her body for himself. Given their rivarly and what an elaborate scheme Wuntch left FOR her funeral, it's not hard to see why.

What follows is the very best of petty holt from the glory that is BAGEL, BAGEL, to his assumption ET is a monster because "he caused quite a comotion), Baugher is at his PEAK this episode comedically, handeling his Rival's death with joy and too many lines to count, with Amy's horror and Rosa's unabashed joy at his pettiness being perfect bounce off points.

Add in comedy legend Micheal Mcdonald as Wuntch's nephew playing her rival, a fake funeral and an attempted funmeral full of balloon arches and bright pastels and you have one of the greatest peices of televesion comedy ever. Rest in peace Andre.... your dearly missed.

[ignoreme07]

Review/Analysis of Percy Jackson TV Show So Far. Pt. 2:

SPOILERS

Episode Two:

What I like/love:

ANNABETH OMG OMG OMG SHE'S HERE

Grover my precious child <3

Mr. D. Just Mr. D. Also does not help he's played by one of my favourite actors who played one of my all-time favourite characters (aka Pimento). He's an ass, but a goofy ass. Like after watching the Insta preview of his convo with Percy, I knew he was going to be an ass about it, but I didn't expect him to say he was Percy's dad to get alcohol ToT.

Percy's sass: 100000/10

Walker's acting deserves an award.

Luke just Luke. The poor man sounds more sad than angry (Which honestly makes the finale 10x better if you think about it since it'll feel more like a twist for people who don't know)

Luke just Luke because he's so charismatic.

Percy learning archery and being in the forges on the comedy scale is 1000000000000/10.

Chris and Luke being besties and being close on-screen and Chris just getting more screen time. Do you guys think he's still unclaimed??? (If so... A+ parenting Lin, no wonder your son/s hates you)

Percy and Annabeth

'She's my little sister'- YESSSSSSSSSS

Luke being the one to tell Percy bout Thalia because it just makes sense cause yknow. But also it helps Luke's character as well.

Totally not biased because I love the Diary of Luke Castellan.

Clarisse (That's all I have to say)

THE PORTRAYAL OF ARES KIDS IN THE SHOW>>>>. Like we were always told how scary they were, but like in the dumb jock, bully way. I'm probs just nitpicking but I love how Chris literally says that Clarisse spends the first few hours hunting in the woods (Guerilla warfare tactics anyone?). Idk why but I think that just shows how dangerous the Ares kids are. Like the Athena kids are always hyped and everything for the strategic warfare, but cmon there HAD to be a reason why everyone was so worried bout the Ares kids joining the Battle of Manhatten. Like it had to be more than they were kids of the War god. (Hello the Spartans worshipped Ares and were one of the greatest warriors in history, they were just given a bad rep due to the Athenians writing down history and the myths)

Also, what's gonna happen with Chris and Clarisse???

Tots not biased since I have a weird love for Ares (fav god in the myths) and his kids

The gods (aka Mr. D) showing why they are in fact assholes.

Percy in capture the flag.

The whole mentality of 'if I get glory my absentee parent will notice me' (Honestly I see how people were converted to stick the middle finger at the gods and joined Kronos)

Percy being mini Luke.

Annabeth figuring out Percy was the son of Poseidon.

The argument between Percy and Mr. D about the quest.

YESSS PERCY DEFEND YOUR MOM (the gods do not in fact care for mortals)

Grover telling Percy about what happened to Sally.

Percy being anti-gods

Neutral

Clarisse being a more modern bully. Kinda works I guess. Though why do they think he's being a fake? Like just keep it being an initiation ritual, still works and teenagers will do that.

Criticism

They shouldn't have removed the 'Names have power thing for the gods' specifically since it was a belief that the ancient Greeks had especially for Underworld deities.

[tumblunni]

oreshika: you know who is not the bad guy? the bad guy also oreshika: you know who is actually the secret bad guy? this sweet harmless comic relief man who has done nothing wrong

except like its eight glowing brain levels deeper cos the sweet comic relief man is also a giant obviously evil demon mask that ANYONE could have pinned for “really just possessing this dude” since the very start but then his personality was very non bad and he was all ‘hey buddie why u no smile’ to his host and like I LET MY GUARD DOWN OKAY. I LEARNED TO TRUST AGAIN.

i’m at the final battle and I am so pissed off but also HYPED?? like im relaly mad cos like RIGHT FROM HIS FIRST APPEARANCE I was like ‘dear god please don’t make onigashira the real villain, it would be so fucking obvious’ and then i just got progressively more pissed because he literally did nothing evil in the entire damn plot, he’s just evil because Evil he’s some sort of Magical Evil Mask that was Made To Be Evil and like Unquestionably Is That and no sort of interesting exploration on that plot even though he HASNT ACTED EVIL EVER UNTIL THE LITERAL LAST FIVE MINUTES

and it raises SO MANY questions cos like why was he even cooperating with Seimei then?? why didnt he fully posess seimei at any earlier point?? why didnt he kill nueko at any of the five other mandatory boss fights we had with him?? Seimei at least had an intriguing personality that gave an odd justification for his plot laziness. Cos he’s an anti-villain who weirdly sees you all as friends or a mentor/student thing, and he’s really just pretending to be evil so that you’ll kill him, cos he can’t die and desperately wants to. So it makes sense that he doesnt do any of his evil actions until you arrive, cos the whole damn point was just to taunt you into arriving. And its nicely parodied cos he literally sends you tea party invitations to his latest evil plan and gets pissed off if you miss it XD i’m so sad for seimei plz say (mei) that we adopt him afterwards i wanted to adopt onigashira afterwards back when it looked like he was the not evil one of the pair I AM STILL REALLY SALTY THAT HE’S NOT!!!! HIS DESIGN IS REALLY COOL AND CUTE!!!!! AND HE WAS A COMIC RELIEF OLD MAN DEMON DRAGON DOOD!!! i trusted u

okay but to talk about why i am also HYPE i need to go into some endgame spoilers whoopy doop!

so yeah the twist of ‘evilman is actually just being controlled by his puppet dragon thing’ was WAY OBVIOUS and i was really wishing for it to not happen but they made up for it by having ANOTHER TWIST THAT’S WAY BETTER

random description of something else from the endgame that is cool but i dont really know where to fit it into this conversation lol you actually do get to fight Final Boss Seimei here, its a cool boss rush with him and then Super Onigashira Betrayal Mode but what I really like is that its an OPTIONAL boss rush! the first time you play it you fight seimei with his freaky spider legs superform, and then nueko steals it back cos it was hers first. Can i just say again that I love a sexy mom styled heroine who’s powers are entirely around growing friggin monsters out of her arms and stuff? Seriously way to subvert that fanservice bro! (its still a bit cringey when they show the monster tattoos being drawn on her butt and boobs...) so then you go into the second fight and your health has all been healed and now one party member has a new supermove (I was really pissed cos it didnt restore your MP and TP, so I couldnt use that move!) But then if you lose and come back it actually skips the first fight and has an altered cutscene that’s like ‘oh, you’re back for round two?’ and such. MUCH preferrable to stuff like kingdom hearts where i have to watch a damn ten minute cutscene each time! Tho I do wish there was an option to redo it in boss rush mode, I guess that’s just a reward for people who can get it on the first try. I’m prepared now thooooo... :(

OKAY BACK ON TOPIC

Now for this final arc of the story we’ve been investigating the mystery of the Nameless God, some dude in the past who was apparantly super great and then got erased from history. There’s also the mystery of who exactly was Nueko’s husband and what happened to separate her from Seimei and make him turn evil, tho i mean its PRETTY OBVIOUS his dad was this mystery god lol And even though its not really very much of a twist about his identity, its still really interesting how the whole thing is handled. Him being erased from history means that none of the characters can remember his name or face, but NEITHER CAN THE PLAYER! He appears in the interfaces long before the plot actually talks about him, as a silhouette and a name smudged out by ink.

Now the actually cool twist about him is that like.. we’ve been hearing for AGES about how great he was, and how someone must have put out a hit on him or something. And him being in the interface seems like a spoiler that he’s gonna be unlockable later as a godly husband candidate for your protagonists. And even when we see npc optional boss battle gods hating on him, it’s always the jerkass gods who have some sort of reason to be biased. Or (in retrospect) they’re hating him for entirely the wrong reasons based on other people’s flawed gossip about him. “He was too kind and if he made equality then I wouldn’t be rich!” says genericman mc gee, who is probably eighty times less evil than this man

COS THATS THE TWIST

He was an evil fucker and erased himself from history with essentially an alchemy equivelant of a mad science experiment gone wrong. And what happened with Nueko and Seimei was that evilbad mc trashdad tried to use his damn four year old child as raw materials for this experiment, and she tried and failed to save him. And then she was desperate and her only option left was to kill the kid so he couldnt be tortured like that, and then killed herself too from grief. But it all went horribly wrong because she didn’t know that the reason Seimei was a candidate for this experiment is because he had immortality powers as a half human half god. So the poor kid survived watching his mom stab him and then slit her own throat, and he had no clue it was because his dad was gonna kill him anyway, so he grows up hating her and missing her and being this big ol sad mess that’s easily manipulated by a fucko father...

COS THATS ALSO THE TWIST

ONIGASHIRA WAS DADS

WHAT HOW

DADS

And like if they were gonna reveal his entire funny cute sidekick personality to be completely false then I’m glad at least his real personality was Twisty Wow and Immensely Punchable like i still feel like i could never punch a cute puppet pal but i can surely punch an abusive father pretending to be his own son’s imaginary friend for twenty years and whispering bullshit in his ear just to drive him into his own grave and like POOR SEIMEI WANTED TO DIE JUST NOT LIKE THIS NOT LIKE THIIIIIIIISSSS

i still think that ‘hey i was made to be an evil superweapon demon dragon mask thing but i became sentient and decided to be a happy hugs jokeman’ would have been a really amazing character concept too either that or ‘hey it really is a harmless normal mask and i’m just super seriously angsty seimei doing ventriloquism as a hugs jokeman character because i’m lonely as fuck and please be my friend’ either of those would have been better than this but like if this is what we get then I’m at least glad they gave me good enough reason to feel ‘GAHH I WANNA STAB HIM AND SAVE MY NEW SON’ rather than just ‘oh blah this ending ruined my fave character, and i feel nothing towards anything now’

also his boss fight is really damn fuckin coolio wow like it was a HUGE WHOA MOMENT when the fight starts and his name is blanked out and you just instantly know who he was this whole time and your mind explodes that this guy was evil and then he’s like a giant buddha-esque multi armed dude doing sutra poses with a big ol spoopy demon head and then really fun classic gameplay of ‘him summon the many hands and u has to destroy the hands to get 2 him and then they regenerate after a short amount of time’ but he’s also got super hellish simultaneous buff and debuff powers and all sorts of other nasty tricks AND IM ON THE LOWEST DIFFICULTY GEEZ and like for some reason it really stabbed my heart seeing how just one of the many hands is still human, its like seimei’s still in there and maybe he might still be alive if we defeat this guy fast enough... and then the music is SO FUCKING GOOD and it has like three remixes for all his increasingly frantic stages. like he doenst actually have boss transformations for them, its just moveset changes and stat boosts as his health drops. but also the colours of the battlefield change and you get funky remix time so its still cool!

and then I was SO CLOSE, i had him down to 5% HP before he killed me T_T such a marathon boss and I was almost there... I’m really excited to try again tho! i finally got that damn curse off my inherited weapon from the first generation, and now i’m on generation 87, and now im ready to FUCK SOME SHIT UP! also my current party is all named after types of olives because i ran out of inspiration around character number 300 i am so fucking addicted to this grindy ass game!

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Thoughts on B99 season 8 and the finale....

So I must admit, I have been putting off watching the finale as part of being in denial that the show has ended and there are no more new episodes to come. And just like Terry, I was not in denial of being in denial. But I finally pulled the trigger and watched the final two episodes and I do have a lot of thoughts about it and the final season.

Firstly, about season 8 has a whole. I will begrudgingly admit that this might be the weakest season of the show, and a large part of it being due to circumstances surrounding the show. Now weakest does not mean it was a bad season. Weakest seasons of B99 is better than 99% of other shows, pun intended, but I think this season struggled a little dealing with the seriousness of the policing storyline but still trying to find humor, combined with the short episode order, and trying to find appropriate endings for the characters. Its a valiant effort and the season is still enjoyable but I don't think it was completely successful at juggling everything.

The fundamental problem with the policing storyline that it is inherently serious and that clashes with the tone of the show. There was a sense of tonal whiplash throughout the season as a result. It was a bit of a problem when a show as progressive as B99 but also a show that is inherently about good cops trying to do good in their community has to try and appeal to a fanbase that considers policing fundamentally as corrupt. Its a tough line to ride and while the show does try, I can't say it completely worked for me. The premiere was arguably the most uncomfortable episode to watch because of the subject matter and the show was very brave to do that and also later in the season when the show put its lead character as Jake as the person in the wrong in a policing matter. But because of the severity of what is happening in these episodes, its tough to find them very funny even though there are hilarious moments in these episodes. Holt getting huffy was great. But in the end, these aren't episodes that I necessarily feel like revisiting. Also, because the issue of policing is big, it had to be done over the course of the season. Which meant 4 out of 10 episodes were relatively serious. I think Blue Flu is the best episode of the bunch in the storyline as it managed to give us a heartfelt storyline with Jake and Boyle as well as do a good job giving Holt a showcase against McGinley's O'Sullivan, who was an excellent antagonist. I felt the resolution of the storyline was a little too pat and convenient. I know they mentioned that O'Sullivan was re-elected for life but they also made it seem like their proposal could change the NYPD which seems like a very tv thing. I also admittedly rolled my eyes that Amy got promoted from Sergeant of Uniformed officers to being a Chief. No way do I buy that type of promotion. That's like a 5 rank promotion I believe. And if its possible, it kind of felt like uncomfortable favoritism on Holt's part.

The best episodes of the season were the episodes in between the policing storyline, because they were lighthearted and fun and played to the strength of the show. However, the airing schedule also kind of worked against it. The tonal whiplash was very evident because we would get one fairly serious episode coupled with one lighthearted episode back to back and it did feel weird while watching it. I feel like if this was like a 15 episode season and the policing storyline was a bit more spaced out, it wouldn't have felt so weird tonally. I loved Balancing, because of the realistic portrayal of how parenting can be. I also really loved PB&J. I know people have varying opinions on the Pontiac Bandit but I really loved how sweetly sentimental the episode ended up by the end. I also liked that Boyle got to be a part of the episode because I always wanted a Jake, Judy, and Boyle episode. I think the way the season executed the Holt and Kevin storyline was exquisite. I was initially not sure why they went about the route of spitting them up but they did an incredible job at their reunion storyline. The Lake House was a hilarious start. I love that the show came through on the commitment of their vow renewal from like season 2 I believe. Holt and Kevin got the vow renewal, the romantic kiss in the rain. It was wonderful. The season had some strong peraltiago moments, specifically in Balancing and in the finale.

The one episode I was a little meh about was Game of Boyles. I really don't think in a final season which already was so short that we needed an episode about Boyle not being a blood Boyle. It wasn't even a particularly big showcase for Joe and Charles' weird habits. The highlight of the episode was the big Holt and Kevin reunion but the episode was otherwise a bit flat. I think because of the fact that the episode order was so short, a few of the characters seemed genuinely wasted. I believe Stephanie Beatriz was pregnant throughout the shooting. With Covid, maybe it was part of the deal for her to be a more minor role but apart from the premiere and the finale, she really isn't used much despite the premiere kind of pitching her as a driving point of this policing storyline which then pivoted mostly to Holt and Amy. Terry was really completely sidelined all season. He's a hilarious side character in some episodes like The Lake House but he didn't really have a single episode where he got to be front and center. Boyle got a few good moments but, like I said, Game of Boyles wasn't even really a big Charles showcase episode. I think his best episode was Blue Flu. The season really felt more lead centric on Jake, Holt, and Amy. Again, I feel this was mainly because of the fact that the policing story took up half the season and there wasn't really enough room in the rest of the season for the others to be showcased. As a result we didn't get any real detective episodes, no Pimento episode, no Vulture return, no return of Jake and Amy's parents etc... all of which could have been fun.

I feel like I have pointed out the issues I had with the season quite a bit, mainly because the show has set such high standards for seasons past. The episodes are still ranging from decent to really good. I don't think there is any episode that comes as an all time B99 classic in this season, but there isn't any real bad episodes either. So its still a solid season, which brings us to the finale.

The finale was fantastic and I loved every aspect of it barring one specific element. I think the showrunners made the right call by knowing what the show is good at and making a true lighthearted romp as the final two episodes. The heist is just too important a tradition for the show not to happen and it feels appropriate that the show ended on a grand heist. The finale did an incredible job incorporating so many guest stars seamlessly. I also loved that Gina got to come back in a substantial role in the finale. Given how big a part she was in the show, it was only right that she was there at the very end. Almost every key relationship got some great moments. Jake and Amy had some heartfelt moments, Amy and Rosa had a lovely moment, Jake and Charles had a great friendship moment. The only relationship I would have liked another scene with is Jake and Rosa, which is probably my favorite male/female friendship on any show. Loved that Terry gets to be Captain, which he deserves. But in the end, the heart of this show has always been the relationship between Holt and Jake. The final scene between them at the precinct is played completely straight and it absolutely brilliant acting from both Andre Braugher and Andy Samberg. It got me really teary and emotional. But wisely, the show ends on an upbeat note which makes you feel good that these people will always be in each other's lives. I also hope they use the notion of a heist to give us a holiday heist special every once in a while. I would love that.

The one element I don't like is Jake resigning and becoming a stay at home dad. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home Dad or Mom. It just doesn't make sense for me for Jake. I think everybody saw hints that he was going to leave the NYPD, and I was ok with that, and I love the fact that the show used Jake's want to be a father as the basis of his departure because that makes sense for him as a character, but I just don't seem him being happy just as a stay at home dad, no matter how sweet that sentiment is. Andy Samberg doesn't get enough praise with how he sells emotional sincerity, but just two episodes prior, Jake was moaning about how he was incredibly bored during his suspension and how he was desperate for interaction to the point of going to the Boyle house for distraction. On top of that, he admitted to being really bummed that he was unable to catch Franzia himself. It just doesn't seem like he would be happy being away from a life without investigations to keep his mind working. Investigating wasn't just something he did just to earn money, he genuinely loved it. I would have felt better if he said he was going to join Rosa as a PI or start his own PI business. Just a one liner saying that he would do something which would continue his passion while still being able to be there for Mac as a parent. It also gave me an uncomfortable callback to my least favorite episode of the show, Casecation, where Jake was mocked when he argued that having a child might compromise their jobs which they both loved and Amy argued that getting promoted would allow her more control over her hours. And now we are at the finale and Jake's argument was completely right and in the end Jake is compromising on his professional career for Amy. There is no doubt in my mind that Jake would have wanted to continue being a detective and a father were it not for the specific circumstances. Jake choosing his family and Amy is no surprise, but I doubt that would have been his preference. On a more practical note, it is not even remotely believable that a couple with a small child living in Brooklyn can survive on a single income, even if Amy is a Chief. I am absolutely certain that the original endgame was for him to join the FBI. They introduced that idea at the beginning of season 7 for a reason. I think it got torpedoed because of the rewrite of the season arc. I like to headcanon that Jake got back to doing investigating on some level because its a shame if he isn't able to use his natural talents to use.

Anyways, the season overall isn't the home run I hoped it would be but given the circumstances, they did a pretty solid job. It isn't necessarily the season I would revisit as much on rewatch but it still delivers the heart and humor that we love from the show. A 7/10 for me. Like Jake said, goodbyes are inherently sad but the show has had a good run and I am glad its getting to go out on its own terms. I will miss this cast together and I really hope they all find success and I can follow them to other films and tv shows. So lets give it up for the cast and crew. One last time, NINE-NINE!

[thealmightyemprex]

10 Favorite Stand alone classic theatrical cartoon shorts

Before TV while the animated feature was in it's infancy,the most prominate form of animation were theatrical shorts .Now there are many great ones with classic characters ,but this list is interested in the one off stories .Few rules

1.Only theatrical shorts

2.No sequels, these are one off stories with moe or less one off characters .So no Bugs Bunny or anything . I bent the rule with one of them but I'll explain my reasoning

3.Cut off date is the 60's

4,No shorts that were made for a movie like the Reluctant Dragon or Legend of Sleepy Hollow

10.Peace on Earth (1939)

So this is low only because I JUST saw it .It's a very serious post apocalyptic anti war cartoon made in the 30'S !!! Frankly I am very surprised it exists

9.The Flying Mouse (1934)

I saw this as a child and the sinister bats mocking the mouse for being "Nothing but a nothing " just stuck with one

8.The Goddess of Spring (1934)

A retelling of the Greek myth of Hades and Persephone and kind of a demo reel for Disney's artists testing out animating realistic humans.I'm a Greek Myth nut so I dig this one

7.Red Hot Riding Hood (1943)

A modern (Or rather 40's ) retelling of Little Red Riding Hood ,with a lecherous wolf and Red asa nightclub singer ,thisis a classic I had toinclude

6.The Critic (1963)

OK so this one is a little diffrent from the others on the list ,but had to include it cause its hilarious .It's an experimental film with abstract images ,with a running commentary by a very grumpy old man watching said film played by comedic legend Mel Brooks !!!

5.The Tell Tale Heart (1953)

This creepy short adaption of Edgar Allan Poe is a horror classic in my mind .Striking visuals and a wonderfully creepy performance by the legendary James Mason as the Mad Man make this short

4.Chicken Little (1943)

About the dangers of Mass hysteria ,this is a retellling of the classic story.....With a surprisingly dark ending

3.Rooty Toot Toot (1951)

A retelling of the song Frankie and Johnny. It is a dark comedy really up my alley ,with wonderful visuals and spetacular voice acting by Annette Warren and Thurl Ravenscroft )

2.One Froggy Evening (1955)

OK I am bending the rules a little here cause there was a sequel......Made 40 years later ,and I had never heard of it .This was made to be a one off ,and Ihave always thought of it as one .Plus it's one of the classic cartoons for a reason ,and Michigan J Frongs singing of "Hello My Baby" is iconic

1. The Dover Boys of Pimento University or the Rivals of Roquefort Hall (1942)

THis is just one of the FUNNIEST THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN ! Love the smear frames ! Love how corny the characters are ! Love that Mel Blanc is screaming all his lines as the villlain ! I just love this cartoon !

Agree? Disagree ? Tell me some of your favorite one off cartoons. Also yes I will be doing one on more traditional cartoon characters as well

@amalthea9 @ariel-seagull-wings @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @marquisedemasque @metropolitan-mutant-of-ark @princesssarisa @filmcityworld1

[ducktracy]

182. little red walking hood (1937)

release date: november 6th, 1937

series: merrie melodies

director: tex avery

starring: elvia allman (little red walking hood, granny), tedd pierce (wolf), mel blanc (elmer)

buckle up! this is a “lengthy prologue” piece!

perhaps one of tex avery’s most formative cartoons in his career. little red walking hood serves as the first fairy tale spoof of his, a genre that would pop up time and time again in his warner bros. cartoons and even over at MGM (perhaps most famously the red hot riding hood series). not only that, but it’s the first cartoon to debut a purely comic villain—villains in previous pictures had comedic touches, of course, but the wolf (voiced by story man tedd pierce, whose vocals are quite underrated—you may recognize him as tom dover from the dover boys at pimento university) is purely made out to be a rather pathetic, unscrupulous adversary from the very beginning.

even more interesting is that the bulk of the cartoon’s backgrounds are done entirely in colored pencils, by avery background artist johnny johnson, who moved with him to MGM when tex left WB in 1941. the handling on the backgrounds are nothing short of stellar! they truly accentuate the “fairy tale” look and feel of the piece.

maybe the most notable, however, is the debut of tex’s third character of 1937: elmer fudd. i covered this in my review of egghead rides again, and you can read more into the differences between egghead (another 1937 avery character) and elmer here, but the bulbous nosed, derby hat donning little man traipsing around with his guitar case is our favorite befuddled hunter. many have labeled this guy as egghead, and understandably so—they’re eerily similar in more ways than one, and “prototype elmer fudd” is much more monotonous than “egghead”, but this is indeed our favorite little hunter! humble beginnings for sure.

the film burlesques the age-old story of little red riding hood, complete with katherine hepburn little red riding hoods, gin guzzling grannies, nonthreatening wolves, fourth wall breaks, and mysterious whistling men.

already, the cartoon marks an intriguing open, with the title card playing into the action itself: the title card serves as the title of a book, opening to divulge the fractured fairy-tale before us. a cliche, sure, and it was one even by 1937, but with tex avery at the helm, audiences can be reassured that it’s all tongue in cheek. “the mean old wolf was lurking in a nearby pool hall” asserts as such.

indeed, the mean old wolf was lurking in a nearby pool hall--or, rather, cheating. he pulls the lever of a pinball machine, lifting up the machine and tilting it so as to guide the ball in the right hole. the animation of the wolf is spaced and timed nicely, with just enough urgency to convey his commitment to cheating. sticking his tongue out in concentration is a nice plus as well. the drawings themselves aren’t the most pleasing, consisting primarily of mathematically proportioned circles and spheres, but such is life. 

close up on the pinball itself circling around the jackpot hole, teetering away to the “OUT” hole at the last second. a minute in, and we already see that this villain is far removed from the mustache twirling, cape-hugging villains that dominated earlier cartoons. instead, we know that this wolf is a loser. carl stalling’s constipated rendition of “old king cole” adds a nice level of sardonic commentary to the wolf’s authority (or lack thereof).

little red riding hood strolling outside the pool hall easily distracts the wolf from his oncoming tantrum. like red hot riding hood 6 years later, the wolf here is instantly charmed, catcalling and preparing to pounce. off-putting as this may seem at first glance, considering little red riding hood is, well, a child, the kicker is that here, she serves as an imitation of katherine hepburn, in both mannerisms and dialect. so, rather than dealing with a naive, innocent girl on her way to grandma’s house, we’ve instead got a hollywood star with her nose in the air, haughtily avoiding the wolf’s advances. (of course, catcalling grown women isn’t any better, but just as a note to dispel any confusion.)

the wolf drives alongside snooty little red in his pompous jaundice-stricken limo, his advances getting nowhere. time to pull out the big guns:

his license plate, reading 0-7734, flips upside down to spell “hello”, with the taillight opening and closing to simulate a wink. clever indeed! it’s some interesting food for thought to imagine how much more exaggerated in speed and tone this gag would have been had this cartoon been made at mgm, though  i suppose red hot riding hood answers that question.

ignored once more, the wolf opts to halt the car and hassle red himself. “hello, pretty girl! going my way, babe?”

irv spence’s animation is the most appealing all throughout the picture, and his scenes of red here are no exception. the underrated elvia allman provides red’s katherine hepburn impression--tex LOVED his hepburn impressions, and they would bubble up in his cartoons time and time again. the gag itself would have been much more riotous 83 years ago than it is now, but even then, the idea of little red riding hood speaking with such a sophisticated and haughty tone is enough to be funny. 

the contrast between the wolf’s sneering vocals and red’s lengthy speech couldn’t be better. red instantly puts the wolf in his place: “rea-lly, in this modern age of flaming youth, the girl has to put up with such embarrassing situations. rea-lly, we do, don’t we, girls? two thirds of you girls out there have gone through just what i’m going through now. you know how it is, don’t you, girls?” amen to that, sister! (bob clampett would play off of this in his swan song, the big snooze, as an elmer fudd in drag asks the girls in the audience how they deal with such harassment.) spence’s animation is visually appealing in design and also just plain funny.

despite red’s blatant dismissal of his advances, the wolf continues to persue her, tipping his hat as he approaches a stoplight. the stoplight opts to give him a good dose of karma as the light turns from green to red, the “STOP” flag popping out and giving the wolf a nice whack in the face.

however, the wolf has more important matters than glaring at a pesky stoplight—offscreen whistling catches his ears.

irv spence animates the stupendous, colossal, magnificent debut of elmer fudd as he struts across the street, blatantly interrupting the flow of the picture. his slow, carefree movements, the wolf’s visual contempt, and the exclusion of background music altogether accentuate elmer’s interruption. purposeful innocuousness and tastefully so!

back to the wolf at the stoplight, the “GO” sign providing one more whack in the face for good measure. wolf speeds off to hassle his victim even more.

as we’ve seen before, the song portion of merrie melodies has largely been dropped around this time, with little blurbs of songs serving as loose substitutes. here, said substitute is “gee, but you’re swell,” sung in a talk-songy drawl by tedd pierce as he relentlessly struggles to charm red. pierce’s vocals are hilarious, especially contrasted with the closeup of red blatantly ignoring his egotistical remarks. she gives him the cold shoulder, icicles logically forming to accentuate the metaphor. a standard gag, but it juxtaposes so well against the wolf’s inane dribble in the background that it’s hard to roll your eyes too strongly at it.

so caught up in inflating his own ego, the wolf fails to notice the approaching mailbox on the sidewalk, which delivers a hearty reality check as he konks his head against it. red urges him to leave her alone, bidding him goodbye with a haughty “scram, romeo, scram!”

our beloved hero, the whistling, intrusive elmer fudd conveniently pops out of the mailbox, toting a sign pointing directly to grandma’s house. the malice from before at fudd’s presence is gone, replaced by gratitude from the wolf. he peels off down the alley, his limo snaking around every curve. both this and the random appearance of elmer are precursors to tex avery staple gags, especially his time at MGM. amazing how formative a single cartoon can be!

at the beginning, i said that “the bulk of” the cartoon’s backgrounds are done in colored pencil. the pan of backgrounds while the wolf is driving to grandma’s house, whizzing past a hitchhiker elmer in the process, are done in paint. the backgrounds are still just as gorgeous! yet the change does serve as a little food for thought.

like always in a tex avery cartoon, his comedic timing is succint: wolf finally pulls up to grandma’s house, elmer nonchalantly chilling on the back tire--despite the wolf’s purposeful disregard for him on the street, making a point to gun the car past him. the matter of factness of the gag is solid. the cartoon’s main priority is breaking the fourth wall rather than telling a story, yet in this case, that’s a good thing. it’s done well and with awareness.

mr. wolf approaches the doorstep of grandma’s abode, knocking on the door many more times than necessary with a hilariously inflated level of sophistication. he breaks his smooth, cool façade to guffaw a radio catchphrase (this time from the al pearce show): “i hope ol’ grandma’s home, i hope, i hope, i hope, i hope, i hope...” this catchphrase would be found in more short than one, bubbling up in a number of bob clampett porky cartoons as well.

an elderly “who’s there?” answers the wolf’s knocks from behind the door. the wolf puts on his best falsetto, cooing “it’s me! little red riding habit!”

we get a glimpse of granny from behind the door, who opens the little door window to see her guest. realizing that she’s met face to face with the wolf, who jabs his mug through the window, granny is quick to slam the door shut, bursting out into an impromptu rendition of “river, stay ‘way from the door” (sung as “wolf, stay ‘way from my door”.) the random song intervention clues us in that granny is in on the fourth wall-breaking as well--the delivery of the gag is quite similar to the mama parrot from i wanna be a sailor bursting into a rendition of “old black joe”.

irv spence takes over as the wolf struggles to pry the door open. suddenly, he freezes in his tracks at the sound of the telltale, offscreen whistling--elmer has arrived. the befuddled stare from the wolf as he watches elmer nonchalantly strut into granny’s house, opening the door without any hint of struggle, is priceless, as is his face-gripping agony. irv spence is tex’s best animator for a reason!

as a last resort, the wolf body slams himself into the door. little red riding hood has now turned into a tale of the three little pigs. he overestimates his own strength, and ends up darting inside, yet he stumbles backwards from the impact and trips backwards throughout the entire layout of the house. the gag is reminiscent of a similar gag from i only have eyes for you, an early 1937 avery entry--another elvia allman voiced elderly woman chases a hapless victim through the house, both of them gliding along a vertical pan set up exactly like this one. this is funny already here, but imagine the speed and lengths this gag would have been inflated to had tex completed this cartoon at MGM! 

granny is on the offense. the wolf barrels through the kitchen, where she’s standing on guard with the kitchen door. she opens the door, allows the wolf to barrel on out, and locks it shut. granny: 1, wolf: 0. 

cue a tired gag that’s been around since the bosko days (and beyond): wolf rams into a tree, shrinking up into his bowler hat. bowler hat runs around aimlessly with big ol’ shoes sticking out until he finally manages to free himself. the animation of the wolf being freed from the bowler hat IS rather nice--the accordion style wrinkles and folds serve as a precursor to some wild animation later on. it reminds me particularly of rod scribner’s animation in bob clampett’s cartoons.  

on the topic of gags old and new, the wolf engages in a gag that would be reused in a number of cartoons, including avery’s thugs with dirty mugs just two years later. the wolf grabs the doorknob, physically pulling it back and letting it shoot up against the door. the window panes thusly light up in a flurry of changing, rapid light squares: four yellow diagonal squares align, and the wolf is granted entrance into the house, triumphant fanfare and all. seems the wolf doesn’t need to cheat to win at pinball (doorknob-ball?) after all! if you look closely, you’ll see that the double exposures still linger as the wolf darts past the door and into the house.

cue the great fight: wolf v. granny. wolf aimlessly chases granny through the kitchen, both of them climbing on the furniture, granny whooping and hollering all the way. the phone rings, delaying their chase--granny hops on the chair to answer the phone, taunting the wolf: “ah-ah,” she chides, displaying her crossed fingers of immunity, “king’s x!” the deliberate time-out and show-stopping is great. this cartoon is filled to the brim with interruptions and halts, yet they don’t at all feel overused or banal. tex was a master of his craft.

granny takes the call while the wolf glowers on impatiently. more fourth-wall breaking as granny begs the audience for forgiveness: “will you people pardon me just a minute? let me see now, one dozen eggs... it’s the grocer, folks...” elvia allman’s vocals are excellent, conveying that comedic awkwardness with a great balance of authenticity and cheekiness. the head tilt indicating the phone as she talks to the audience is another plus.

tedd pierce’s vocals aren’t to be overlooked, either. his “AW, C’MON, GRANDMA!!!” is the perfect topper as granny rambles on the phone. she ends her call by sneering “and a case of gin!” to the grocer before hanging up and telling the audience the chase is back on (”heeeere we go again!”)

granny seeks refuge in the closet, the wolf greeted by elmer again as he opens the door. instead of fighting it, the wolf just heaves a dubious shrug towards the audience. irv spence animation once again--he draws the wolf’s eyes in a comparatively distinct manner. the irises are much smaller than the work of the other animators.

the wolf darts inside the closet, where he finds a conveniently placed nightgown hanging near the door. he looks under the skirt, prompting a disembodied hand to smack him in the face for such uncouth behavior. now confused, the wolf opts to peer into one of the sleeves, where granny’s hand pops out to squeeze and honk his nose daffy duck style.

their game of cat and mouse (or is it wolf and granny?) is interrupted by knocking on the front door, and the telltale, floaty voice of “it is i, red riding hood, grandmother!”

cue panic mode. the wolf hurriedly asks granny to give him “the stuff”, and she offers her bonnet, glasses, and shawl with a sense of camaraderie. this is entirely a performance, not a retelling of a story. these characters are hyper-aware actors who are not what they portray. 

tex’s speed, from the wolf finding granny to her offering her clothes to him diving in granny’s bed, flows incredibly well. everything happens all at once! there’s hardly any time to breathe. the urgency of the situation is very much alive and real, but also playfully so. the whole cartoon feels like a game of hide and seek in a way.

thus, we’re treated to the old routine that everyone knows, with red inquiring about the wolf’s “large optics” and “large schnozzola”. even she understands the overplayed nature of her performance, halting midsentence to quip at the audience “rather childish and a bit silly, don’t you think?” while the scene does drag, it’s purposeful and successful at doing so. there’s a noticeable contrast between the pacing of this scene and the scenes prior.

yet, in no-time, we’re back to the adrenaline rush, with the wolf lunging out of the bed and chasing a shrieking red. tedd pierce’s vocal talents are not to go undermined--he’s genuinely fun to listen to. interestingly, he didn’t write this cartoon--cal howard did. who, i may add, dabbled in a little bit of voice acting himself, voicing gabby goat in get rich quick porky!

irv spence takes over for the remainder of the cartoon, and his animation is gorgeous all the way. the wolf corners red, who swings haymakers at him, stopping only to gloat towards the audience “silly way to make a living, don’t you think?” such a stark contrast at the drop of a hat! predictable, perhaps, but who can be mad at it? this is a very likable cartoon. while all of the warner bros. directors of this period are quite talented, it most certainly belongs under tex avery’s name--think of how different in demeanor and timing this would be as a frank tashlin cartoon (who DID rival tex in terms of speed), a friz freleng cartoon, and a bob clampett cartoon. with tex, it’s in good hands.

the brawl continues, only to be halted by another interruption. no, it’s not because of offscreen whistling! signaling for red to stop, the wolf casts a steely glower at the figure of two silhouettes moving across the screen, sneering snide remarks--late moviegoers who interrupt the flow of the cartoon. provided my memory serves me correctly, this is the first WB cartoon to integrate rotoscoping. it was a technique invented by max flesicher in 1915, where animators would trace over live action footage, frame by frame.

tex would use this countless times, both at WB and MGM. his efforts pay off even now, watching this on a laptop screen, but just IMAGINE the impact this would have in a packed, dark theater, where even the CARTOON CHARACTERS stop to ridicule the audience! imagine just how revolutionary that was the first time this was showed! what an absolute riot! tex was a genius. the characters truly feel alive and with us. this was a very real problem, too, and a timeless one--someone scooching past you in the all too narrow row, bumping your knees, spilling their popcorn on you in the process... the characters on screen connect with the audience, bonding over a universal occurrence. imagine just how much of an uproar this would cause back then in theaters. genius!

after the wolf is done guilt-tripping his latecomers, the fight continues for a few seconds more, halted once again by the fudd himself, strolling across the screen. finally, the wolf reaches his breaking point: “hey BUD! hey, just a minute, bud! now, who the HECK are you, anyway?”

mr. fudd guffaws his first words in a stereotypical dopey drawl: “who, me?” note how his eyes open for a change! he opens his guitar case, where a mallet is carefully stored inside. not a beat is wasted as he knocks the wolf over the head with the mallet, elmer remarking in his hayseed voice “huh huh huh huh, i’m the HERO in this picture!”

iris out...

or so we think.

what a game changing piece of animation. this isn’t the tex avery cartoon to beat all cartoons by any means, but it packs a lot of weight. it’s extremely formative in tex’s career. numerous gags--such as the rotoscoped silhouettes, the stretching limo hugging the curves on the street, the constant wall-breaking and interruptions--and even story structures (think of all of the countless fairy tale parodies that came after this!) would be used not just by tex, but by his friends and colleagues, whether at WB or elsewhere. 

in the grand scheme of things, the plot is barebones. the wolf goes to grandma’s house. the wolf chases little red riding hood. that’s really all it is. yet it’s the details what give it substance, and the purposeful delivery of such. this isn’t a faithful retelling of a beloved story, that’s out the window. these characters are hyper-aware characters essentially massacring an old fairy tale. yet its the conviction of such that makes it so strong. it’s not really a “haha, look, i broke the fourth wall, i’m instantly funny! show’s over” deal--it’s just riding that momentum and expanding the picture on it. “oh, the story keeps getting interrupted. okay. let’s continue to interrupt it and make the characters increasingly aware of such, with the reasons for interruption growing more and more bizarre.”

while this isn’t nearly as bizarre as tex’s later pieces at MGM, it’s a great start. WB wasn’t completely free of its disney influence. pieces like these further remove the disney influence for sure, but 1937 is still very early on. this is such a game-changer in comparison to previous cartoons. 

tex’s dry-spell is over, and cartoons are on the upswing from here. things are going to get real funny and real loony. i definitely urge you to go watch this cartoon--it’s not the most revolutionary piece of animation on the planet, but it’s a wonderfully funny cartoon that still holds up today, and it serves as an interesting comparison point for future cartoons.

you can go watch it on HBO max, or you can check it out right here! enjoy!

[peraltasames]

a million dreams for the world we’re gonna make

post jimmy jabs II plotless domestic fluff, title from a million dreams from the greatest showman bc it’s what charles boyle would’ve wanted 💞

read on ao3

Under normal circumstances, Jake going to great lengths to win a bet in order to spend more time with their future child and saving their brand new car in the process would mean he gets rewarded with lots of baby-making (and a few added bonuses) as soon as they got home.

But by the time they get home and they’ve ensured that the epi-pen won’t have any lasting negative effects on his health as he doesn’t have any preexisting heart condition (they don’t go to the hospital, but they text Rosa and they figure that’s good enough), the adrenaline from the epi-pen has also worn off and Jake once again feels like he’s been run over by a semi.

Instead of their regular nightly (at least when Amy’s ovulating) sexy times, Amy shows her great love and appreciation for her husband (and maybe a slight amount of guilt that she injected him with drugs) by getting him comfy in their bed with half a dozen pillows and a couple of ice packs for his various injuries. She also put on Die Hard 2 even though it’s her night to pick and they’re halfway through a killer docuseries about home organization that Jake found for her on Amazon after she burned through all the Netflix ones.

“Feeling any better, champ?” Amy asks softly as she curls up next to him with the raspberry fertility tea Charles brought over the day Pimento spilled the beans.

Jake smiles softly and turns his head to face her, only slightly wincing as he leans in. She’s definitely making him see a doctor tomorrow, but she checked him over a few times and she’s pretty sure nothing’s broken, so she gave into his pleas to simply go home go to bed. She meets him halfway and gently cups his cheek while he kisses her.

“Am now.”

She can probably chalk his cheesiness up to the fading adrenaline, exhaustion, and the Extra-Strength Tylenol he took a few minutes ago, but either way she welcomes it and leans in for another quick peck, letting her fingers slide into his curls and gently stroke his scalp.

When he pulls away she lowers her hand from his face to his forearm, letting her fingers rest on his wrist for a few moments.

As soon as Jake snaps out of the daze of the kiss, he raises an eyebrow. “Babe, are you checking my pulse?”

“Rosa said to make sure your heart rate is normal.” She grabs his hand with her free one to keep him still. “Hold on - nineteen beats per fifteen seconds-“

“We checked back at the precinct and it was fine then, I’m sure it’s fine now.”

“Seventy-six beats per minute,” she finishes. “That’s still a few above your average - which is actually not bad all things considered - but it’s lower than it was earlier, so that’s good.”

He smiles for a moment, as if he’s smug with himself for being a relatively healthy person despite rarely going to the gym, but the look quickly fades. “Wait, do you measure my heart rate?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“When you’re sleeping, when we’re watching TV, whenever.” She shrugs, slightly confused by his tone of surprise. “I’m surprised you never noticed.”

“That you’re collecting data on me?”

She rolls her eyes at his incredulous tone. “Jake, you’re in your late thirties, you don’t get enough exercise, and your maternal grandfather had two heart attacks before he was sixty.”

He furrows his brow again, but she cuts him off as soon as he opens his mouth to question her.

“Your mom told me,” she explains. “Look, it’s no big deal, I’m just making sure everything’s okay in there because I need you to stick around for a really long time, okay?”

Jake’s face instantly melts, and he reaches to squeeze her hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I had a kale smoothie with my bagel this morning, so I’ll probably live to be like a hundred and twenty now.”

She can’t help but feel warmth bubble in her chest that the only thing that’s successfully made him change his diet is the list of foods that boost sperm count, which she emailed him a few weeks ago.

“Good,” she grins. “‘Cause it’s not just gonna be you and me anymore. Everything could totally change at any time now.”

“I know,” he brings her hand to his lips and lays a soft kiss to her knuckles. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

She interlocks their fingers and leans into his side a little bit, wanting to hold him closer but also to avoid aggravating his many bumps and bruises, and uses her other hand to idly stroke his arm.

“So,” Jake murmurs sometime later, right when she’s starting to suspect he’s falling asleep due to the lack of film commentary he’s made in the last ten minutes and his new position with his head on her shoulder. “How does it feel to no longer be the reigning Jimmy Jabs champion of our household?”

“Only because I let you win,” Amy points out. “I would’ve won if I didn’t value our car more than the bragging rights.”

“Well, technically you only won last time because I let you, so we’re even.”

Jake told her the truth about him letting her win when they were finalists, during the first Jimmy Jabs of their relationship. Apparently, to quote him exactly, “the satisfaction of you knowing that I actually should have won is worth the embarrassment of me pining for you for a year while you had a boyfriend.”

“We should have a rematch,” she suggests as the end credits begin to roll and she shuts off the TV. “Next time we have the Games, no outside bets. I know I can beat you fair and square.”

“Oh, as soon as I can move without feeling like my muscles are on fire you are on, Santiago.”

They climb under the covers and Amy nuzzles her face into his shoulder, dropping a soft kiss to his collarbone and a few more up his neck.

“What do you think, winner gets to pick the baby’s name?” Jake proposes, closing his eyes as the acetaminophen begins to make him incredibly drowsy.

“Hmm, I think that should be a joint decision,” says the rational part of Amy that is fairly confident in her ability to win the Jimmy Jabs again but also really doesn’t want her baby named after Bruce Willis. After a moment, though, her competitive side can’t resist making things a little interesting. “Maybe the middle name.”

Jake reaches for her face in the dark to pull her in for a quick goodnight kiss.

“Deal.”

[aion-rsa]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Funniest Guest Cast Characters

https://ift.tt/3oTakdX

Warning: contains Brooklyn Nine-Nine spoilers.

Brooklyn Nine Nine is one of the funniest sitcoms around thanks to its fantastic ensemble cast and just-broad-enough humour blended with almost-realistic cop show elements. But that great regular cast are supported by an equally brilliant array of recurring characters and guest stars. In this list, we’re celebrating the funniest of the show’s less often-seen characters, those guest appearances who’ve turned up once or twice to inject a fresh burst of comic energy into the show.

Note that we’re not counting regular recurring characters like Adrian Pimento, Madeline Wuntch, or Kevin Cozner, aka Mr Raymond Holt. If they turn up more than once a year, or in more than three episodes in one season, they’re off the list.

12. Adam Sandler, played by himself in Operation: Broken Feather, Season 1, Episode 15

Adam Sandler’s appearance as himself in Season One is beautifully self-deprecating as well as funny. His deadpan delivery of “I’m a serious person” is hilarious in just the right way – of course the real Sandler is, presumably, as serious and as complex as anyone else, but he knows his own public persona and just how to play on it in the right way to raise a different kind of laugh. The interest in antiquities, the planned film about the Russian Revolution, it’s all funny – and somewhat undercut, even more amusingly, by his taunting of Jake straight afterwards. The whole scene did help to flush out a criminal though, so it wasn’t a total loss for Jake.

Funniest moment: Admitting his “serious” Russian Revolution film features Kevin James as Trotsky, and a wife who doesn’t wear a bra through the whole film.

11. Geoffrey Hoytsman, played by Chris Parnell in two episodes in Season 2

When Jake’s lawyer girlfriend Sophia uses her boss as a transparent excuse to break up with him (by going on ‘pause’), Jake wilfully misunderstands and decides that the boss is the key problem, so he sets off to make the man like him. It all goes horribly wrong when Jake finds Hoytsman snorting cocaine in the bathroom, which Hoytsman claims he was doing accidentally while screaming loudly that Jake is arresting him to the whole room of lawyers. Sophia somehow still ends up blaming Jake – probably because she simply wanted to break up with him in the first place – and Hoytsman ends up returning to take Jake hostage and quite seriously threaten his life later in the season. Parnell’s over-the-top performance as a character who is, of course, high for much of the time, is what really sells the character.

Funniest moment: Sniffing cocaine off his collar in the middle of the police precinct.

10. Jessica Day, played by Zooey Deschanel in The Night Shift, Season 4, Episode 4

Back in 2016, both New Girl and Brooklyn Nine Nine were active Fox sitcoms, so the network decided to do a crossover event in which the New Girl characters travelled to New York City and ran into the 99. Most of the crossover scenes actually ended up in the New Girl episode, but Zooey Deschanel’s character Jess Day did make a brief appearance in the otherwise stand-alone Brooklyn Nine Nine half of the crossover. While the New Girl episode provided a lot more context for Jess’s feelings about New York and her stress level surrounding Schmidt’s mom’s car and the soup she’s carrying, her appearance as an apparently slightly nutty woman who resists Jake’s attempts to commandeer the car is an entertaining interlude during the half hour.  

Funniest moment: Insisting that Jake’s oath to serve and protect applies to her soup.

9. Philip Davidson, played by Sterling K. Brown in The Box, Season 5, Episode 14

If this were a list of the show’s ‘best’ guest characters, rather than ‘funniest’, the top ranked would surely be Philip Davidson, played by Sterling K. Brown. ‘The Box’ is a tight, taught bottle episode that takes full advantage of Brooklyn Nine Nine’s hybrid status as both sitcom and cop show, and Brown’s Davidson forms a strong third of a triangle in this three-header with Holt and Peralta. It’s a really strong performance, but given that he’s playing a tough-to-crack murder suspect, not really the funniest, exactly. Still, he gets a good few laughs when appropriate over the course of a really engaging half hour of comedy/cop show crossover.

Funniest moment: When Davidson finally cracks, he cracks hard – his confession is equal parts triumphant, cathartic, and hilarious.

8. Karen Haas, played by Maya Rudolph in Coral Palms Parts 1&2, Season 4, Episodes 1&2

Maya Rudolph has a good line going in slightly weary authority figures (see also: The Good Place). Handling Holt and Peralta while they’re in witness protection is not an easy job and her exasperation at Jake’s refusal to accept his situation is well played. Haas is really funny, though, when she starts bringing her own issues into her official duties, clearly trying to get permission to cheat on her husband from someone, anyone – and Holt is happy to oblige.

Funniest moment: Whoever it is she wants to sleep with is “really young” – something that clearly shouldn’t be funny, but the face Rudolph pulls as she says it is what sells it.

7. Lin-Manuel Miranda as David Santiago in The Golden Child, Season 6, Episode 9

Miranda is marvellously smarmy as Amy’s too-perfect brother, her demanding parents’ favourite, who snubs popular culture and shows off by saving people’s lives (including Amy’s own husband). Amy’s delighted reaction when he’s arrested for cocaine possession and deep disappointment when he turns out to be innocent are highlights, but the funniest scene by far is the dance-off between David and Amy, in which both comprehensively demonstrate that dancing is not among the Santiago family’s many strengths.

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Funniest moment: David thinks elbows should form a bigger part of a dance routine than they really should.

6. Frederick, played by Nick Offerman in Ava, Season 3, Episode 8

Any time we meet Captain Holt’s friends and family, many of whom share his stoic, Vulcan-like demeanour, it’s always hilarious. JK Simmons as his old friend Dillman very nearly made the list, but he was just pipped to the post by Ron Swanson – sorry, Nick Offerman – as Holt’s ex-boyfriend. There’s a lot of crossover between Parks and Recreation and Brooklyn Nine Nine among the cast and crew and Offerman isn’t even the only Parks & Rec alumnus to appear on this list, but he’s probably the one whose appearance most quickly calls to mind his earlier character. The idea that Holt’s ex-boyfriend is Ron F-ing Swanson is just genius. OK, Frederick lacks Swanson’s magnificent moustache (though he has a glorious beard) and he’s even more brusque and stand-off-ish, but he’s a perfect match for Holt, even more in their post-break-up mutual antagonism than we imagine they were in their relationship.

Funniest moment: His straight-faced insistence at the door that they have a “wooden-duck situation”.

5. Mark Devereaux, played by Nathan Fillion in Serve & Protect, Season 4, Episode 14

It’s always funny any time police characters in a cop show visit the set of a TV cop show, and for added meta humour, in this case the actor playing the fictional detective is played by an actor who works on a cop show (albeit as a non-cop character). Phew! That’s a lot of layers of meta. Nathan Fillion’s pompous star who apparently thinks playing a detective makes him a detective is very funny, and it gets better when it turns out that was a ruse to cover up his own petty criminal activity before he folds like wet paper. It’s just a shame we didn’t get to see more of him.

Funniest moment: Devereaux tries turning on the angry detective act from his show to cover up his own crime, only to be confronted with quite a lot more than a “shred” of evidence and fold immediately.

4. Eleanor Horstweil, played by Kathryn Hahn in Hostage Situation, Season 3, Episode 11

We heard a lot about Boyle’s ex-wife over the first couple of seasons, partly because Boyle was still living in her basement, hanging out with her new husband Hercules. We knew what sort of person Eleanor was when Boyle explained that he gets the beach house from December to February. When we finally meet her in the flesh, Kathryn Hahn does not disappoint – Eleanor is surely one of the most purely horrible characters we’ve seen on the show (and yes, we’re including all the murderers). She hits a 90-year-old priest with her car and then destroys Boyle’s frozen sperm, all with no apparent sense of guilt, and she largely gets away with it, too. But she does it all with a perfectly deadpan expression and carefree attitude, each horrifying act funnier that the last.

Funniest moment: She goes further than Jake ever thought she would when she “shoots a hostage” – i.e., throws some of Boyle’s sperm down the drain.

3. Seth Dozerman, played by Bill Hader in New Captain, Season 3, Episode 1

Bill Hader’s screentime on the show is relatively brief, but he is hilarious from start to finish, attacking the squad with every shouted command like he’s firing metaphorical bullets at them. It might actually have been really cool to see the squad try to deal with him as their Captain for more than one episode, with his extremely demanding requirements and very highly strung personality, but on the other hand, perhaps this is a joke that works better in small quantities. Any character whose dying words are “Tell my wife I love her work ethic” is probably a character better enjoyed for a shorter period of time. 

Funniest moment: Both heart attacks are very funny, but the first (non-fatal) one just pips it for the sheer suddenness of it.

2. Caleb, played by Tim Meadows in three episodes in Seasons 5 and 6

Jake is shocked to discover his only friend in maximum security prison is a cannibal (though he would prefer to be identified as a wood-worker), having assumed everyone in protective custody was a wrongly accused police officer. Caleb is surely Brooklyn Nine Nine’s best streak of really, really dark humour – not only did he murder and eat nine and a half people, they were small children too. Every reference he makes to his “nightmare” past is sickly hilarious, and gets worse and worse every time, including a reference to his “skin suit”. But he really does care for Jake, even if he still kind of wants to eat him. The sheer audacity of the black humour surrounding this character is fantastic and always funny.

Funniest moment: Caleb shows that he has a softer side when he saves Jake’s life – but he immediately deeply regrets it and would not do it again.

1. Doug Judy, played by Craig Robinson in multiple episodes (one episode or two-parter per year)

Yes, we carefully defined a recurring character as someone who is either in more than three episodes or who appears more than once a year specifically so that we could include Craig Robinson‘s Doug Judy. It’s our list and we make the rules. There’s something twistedly beautiful about Jake and Doug Judy’s tender but tense friendship, even in the early years when Judy is constantly double-crossing poor Jake. The two of them have perfect comic chemistry, and each running gag in their friendship, especially their fondness for swaggering out in a new outfit or disguise, just gets funnier and funnier. Long may Doug Judy continue to turn up roughly once every twelve months to harass his long suffering best friend.

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Funniest moment: Having escaped yet again, Doug Judy leaves Jake a pre-recorded message in a karaoke booth – complete with a full hour of pre-recorded singing for Jake to duet with.

The post Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Funniest Guest Cast Characters appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[the-vulgar-vegetarian]

Easy Lunch Sandwhiches for Herbivors

So, I’ve heard

That some of my veggie friends have resolved for the new year to save money by packing lunches instead of buying

And excellent resolution if I may say so

However they’ve run into an issue of figuring out a variety of sandwhiches to take because let’s be honest you can only eat peanut butter and jelly so many times

So here’s a list of easy vegetarian and vegan sandwhich options to pack in your lunch bag

Peanut Butter and Jelly Redone

So I know I started by saying you can only easy peanut butter and jelly so many times but I still wanted to include it because it really is the good standby

But why not turn up the dial but changing up the nut butter and spread options?

Almond butter and apricot preserves

Cashew butter and hazelnut spread

Sun butter and apple slices

There are endless options so try something new and have a little fun

Eggsalad (the good kind)

Eggsalad is a controversy in the veggie world because it’s got such a bad rep

And I’m not saying that licking that four day old one at the gas station is good for your health

But if you make it from scratch and put it on some nice whole wheat bread

Ooooooooooooh mama

That’s some good shit

Recipe:

6 Eggs, hard boiled and peeled and chopped

1 Tbsp lemon juice

1/4 cup mayonnaise

1 Tbsp yellow mustard

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

1/2 cup chopped celery

Mix it all together in a boil and you’ve got yourself one delicious Sandwhich

Cucumber Tea Sandwhiches

While you would typically enjoy this Sandwich in its miniature form, it can also be enjoyed as a cool easy to pack lunch

If you want to enjoy it with a hot cup of tea that’s your prerogative

Recipe:

8 oz cream cheese softened

3 tablespoons mayonnaise

2 teaspoons chopped fresh dill

1 teaspoon chopped fresh chives

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

salt & pepper to taste

1 long cucumber thinly sliced

1 loaf white bread

Simply cream the cheese and mayo togehter and then stir the herbs and seasoning in. Spread the mixture on two slices of white bread and then shingle cucumber slices between.

Caprese Sandwhich

In reality, I am a slut for some caprese salad

Holy yum, it’s good

So caprese salad and carbs

Hell yes

Recipe:

1 tablespoon olive oil

2 heirloom tomatoes, cut into slices

4 ounces fresh mozzarella cheese, cut into slices

Salt and pepper

1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar

Sprinkle of Italian seasoning

Ciabatta Bread

Drizzle the oil and the vinegar evenly on both slices of the bread. First layer some tomatoes and then stack some cheese ontop. Sprinkle pepper, salt, and seasonings on top the cheese.

ALT

The ALT does not get the respect it deserves, it is a delicious alternative and can stay pretty well together for a while in a lunch bag

Recipe:

Tbsp of Mayo

1 vine tomato, thinly sliced

1 avocado, sliced

2 leaves if romaine lettuce

Loaf of multi grain bread

Salt and pepper

Smear the mayo on the slices of bread, layer the leaves on the bottom slice. Shingle the tomatoes ontop and then cover those with the avocado slices. Sprinkle salt and pepper and secure the top slice with a toothpick.

Pimento Cheese

This recipe is one I remember from my child hood. My mother loved making pimento cheese and while it was never a favorite of mine, I still get a craving for it from time to time

Recipe:

8 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, grated

¼ cup softened cream cheese

1/2 cup jarred pimento or other roasted red pepper pieces

3 Tbsp mayonnaise

This recipe is pretty simple and you just cream the creamed cheese and then mix all the ingredients together. Spread a thick even layer on some wheat bread and this will keep in the fridge for a long time.

Now get out there and save that five bucks kids, good luck!

[vernonfielding]

Strip us of our crowns

Story No. 16 of my Season 7 Countdown Project. Thank you to @exploding-snapple for the prompt!

Summary: “Look, prison is awful. I hate it here. I'm lonely, I'm scared. I just want to be back home.”

We know how prison treated Jake, but what about Rosa? Takes place during The Big House (1&2). (Read on AO3.)

Rosa starts a riot her first day.

They’ve put her in gen-pop even though everyone hates cops, and thank God she hasn’t personally put away anyone here. She’s not the only cop at Edwards, but she’s the newest, and the rest of them are in for stuff like violent assaults and murders and police brutality that make bank robbery look like child’s play. The only way she can stay safe is to earn their respect, and the only way to do that is to lose her shit a little.

So at lunch, Rosa smashes her tray, turkey sandwich and all, into the face of one of the dirty cops, then throat punches her and puts her in a chokehold. Four guards have to drag her off, kicking and screaming.

Five hours after getting to prison, Rosa is in solitary.

+++

Rosa studied meditation for a while in college. She never reached the deep inner silence and spiritual awakening of transcendental meditation, but she found it pretty damn useful for clearing her head anyway.

Her cell in solitary is so small that she can touch both walls at the same time if she stretches her arms. There’s a dented shelf at the far end with a single bar of soap stuck to it, and beneath it a stained sink and beside that a toilet. The bed is a cot, the mattress thinner than her yoga pad. Rosa gives herself about an hour to freak out in there, to tear the mattress and the threadbare blanket off the bedframe and beat them against the dingy walls, to alternate between screaming and cackling, a sound that makes her scared of and for herself.

She exhausts herself, and then she just stands there in the center of the cell, breathing hard, sweat cooling on her face and neck. She swipes her hair up into a messy bun, pulls it into a knot, and then sits in lotus pose in the middle of the floor and takes a deep breath through her nose. The space smells old and stale, of blood and sweat and piss and, horribly, mashed potatoes.

Rosa closes her eyes and breathes.

+++

She spends more time in solitary than not over the first couple of weeks. Usually it’s in 48-hour stints – two days in, one day out. But by the time Holt and Terry visit she’s been out for a few days straight. The other inmates still hate her, they still stare when she walks by, she can feel their dark gazes burning into the back of her neck and between her shoulder blades. But they keep their distance.

Lonely is alive, at least.

Her cellmate is in for aggravated assault. She says she beat up her own pimp, that the guy had it coming, and Rosa believes her but also figures there’s more to the story. She talks in her sleep, in Spanish, calling for a girl named Esme. Rosa curls up on her side, knees pulled up toward her belly, back to the wall.

The stress of this place is like a poison. She can taste it, can feel it in her blood, thinks about it settling into the marrow of her bones and becoming part of her. She thinks about Jake and how when she sees him again, they’ll both be so different. She knows that he’s harder than he looks. Stronger. But he’s being poisoned too, after all. Even if they get out tomorrow, or the day after or next week – already something’s changed. She’s already lost something but she doesn’t know what.

+++

Rosa love-hates that Terry and Holt visit. She can’t help it: She’s so ashamed, sitting on the other side of the greasy glass barrier, in her faded gray uniform and her lace-less shoes and her recycled underwear. But everything about them exudes comfort and safety and she’s so fucking glad they came. Even Hitchcock is a welcome presence. 

They insist on doing her favors. And she gets it and she’s even grateful, but it’s annoying. She hates coddling under any circumstances, hates the pity and hates giving up even an ounce of independence. In here, she already feels so vulnerable, everything in her life out of her own control.

Still, she comes up with a list of chores for them. It keeps her occupied an entire afternoon, which isn’t so bad.

She sits in the reading room with a pad of yellow legal-sized paper and a pencil and bullet points her requests, each more absurd than the previous. She likes the feel of the pencil scratching across the paper, likes watching the letters form in her own familiar print. For the first time she understands, a little, why Amy likes nice pens and pretty stationery – she would kill (not literally – but maybe she’d stab) for a rollerball pen in blue ink, for crisp white paper.

Writing letters to Adrian is hard, at first. She’s never been to Argentina, never even seen pictures of his ranch, has trouble imagining him in this space she doesn’t know. She never even found out for sure what he did with the scorpions.

She starts by telling him that prison sucks and she misses him. It’s blunt and too personal and she hates it, hates herself, so then she tells him how she wants to gnaw on the tendons in his neck and lick his teeth and the roof of his mouth. From there things get deliciously nasty and she writes until her hand is cramping and she has to stop after every half-page to shake it out.

Around halfway through the legal pad she goes horribly, shamefully confessional again and she can’t help it, doesn’t even try to fight it. She tells him she misses him she needs him she can’t do this she can’t she can’t-

+++

“Diaz,” Holt says. He’s with Amy this time. It’s the first time Amy’s visited, and her face is so kind and pretty and familiar that an ache settles in Rosa’s stomach.

“You have a plan.” Rosa can read it all over them. Amy is practically vibrating, and Holt’s eyebrows are slightly raised.

Rosa hates the plan. And she respects the plan. And even though she’d told Amy that imagining herself strangling the life out of Hawkins wouldn’t be good enough, Rosa does it anyway, all that afternoon and that night after making her request for a visit.

Anger, at least, feels a lot better than fear or despair or shame or a thousand other dumb emotions. Anger is familiar. Anger makes her feel a little like her old self. 

She picks a fight with one of the dirty cops after Hawkins leaves. The ex-cop is in for a string of beatings and bribes and threatening witnesses. Rosa bumps her shoulder and the woman tells her to go to hell and Rosa takes her out at the knees and punches her in the kidney and presses her face into the cracked pavement. It feels great, even when the guards lift her up and carry-drag her away.

When she leaves solitary two days later, she doesn’t even stop at her cell to gather her things. She’s going back to her old life. She’s going home. She already has everything she needs.

End Notes:

Title is from Focus on the Game (Bash Brothers).

This was a tough one to write – not so much in that it was hard to find the words, it just felt very dark (I mean, obviously).I hadn’t really thought much about how Rosa handled prison, and now I think it was probably both easier and harder for her than for Jake. Easier in that I’m guessing there was somewhat less threat of immediate violence/death. Plus, I think Rosa’s just generally got her emotional shit together better than Jake. But harder in that I think she’d feel more anger/shame/frustration? Also, I think Jake was helped a lot by knowing he had Amy waiting for him on the other side. Rosa was with Pimento at the time, but that relationship wouldn’t have provided nearly the same level of comfort and support. Man. Poor Rosa.

[roleplaypartneragency]

Marvel Roleplayers!

Fandom: MCU, Avengers/Marvel

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff (Romanogers), Steve/Bucky Barnes (Stucky), Bucky/Natasha (BuckyNat/WinterWidow), Steve/Peggy Carter (Steggy) Steve/Sharon Carter (Staron).

If you’re for a ship involving any combo of these characters let me know and I’ll tell you how I feel. I basically ship Steve with a whole ton of people, so if you’d like to play someone I haven’t listed opposite him I’ll let you know my thoughts. I CAN do Stony but the borderline-toxicity (in my opinion) of their MCU relationship somewhat turns me off and makes me hesitant.

I’m also not opposed to writing platonic and/or nonsexual relationships/friendships if you would prefer. This would extend to a wider range of characters you or I could play.

Character(s) you want to play: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Peggy Carter, Sharon Carter, Bucky Barnes 

Clearly, Steve is my main. I love him and he consumes me. This does not mean I’m opposed to you playing him if you’d like!

Character(s) you want your partner to play: Any I’ve listed opposite my character

Setting: Canon. I am alright with slight changes to canon (e.g. modern Peggy or Bucky, no civil war, added headcanons etc.), but like to expand on and explore the characters and worlds which are already established 

Prompt: For something long-term, I’d probably tailor a prompt/starter to your preferences. But some topics/ideas I’d like to explore:

-Undercover mission that lasts longer and grows more complicated than anticipated. Could be “pretend marriage.” Characters discover more of each other than they ever thought they would. Probably slow burn.

-I have stumbled upon this child during a field op and now the child is living with us temporarily. This is somehow legal.

-Held hostage/captive together and subjected to harsh conditions, whatever that may be. Injuries sustained. Limits pushed. Etc.

-“Stranded.” Setting tbd. Probably island. Maybe arctic. Other characters can be present. Survival tactics ensue.

-Apocalypse. Probably of the Zombie variety. Imminent threats. Stakes are high.

Basically, I love high stakes and thrill, and two characters relying on each other to get through.

RP Style: I looove detail, character headspace, emotional description and imagery. I will likely write 2-3 paragraphs, more if I am into it. If you can’t match this every time that’s fine, but try not to gradually taper off. I am completely fine with you taking control of the narrative in your turns, adding plot points or events etc., as long as we’re sticking with the general story and concepts we’ve established. I need someone who is able to write not just dialogues and actions, but also character thoughts, emotions, and your own additions regarding the characters position, or I will not be engaged. 

Platform: Generally I email. However I have a discord I rarely use and if this is your preferred method for RP I will give it a try!

Tropes: Intense angst or intense fluff, there’s no in between (just kidding, in between/both is always good) I love a good m/f power couple. Emotional and physical hurt/comfort. I like trauma exploration and giving my characters more trauma :) I will write smut if you’d like but this isn’t my strong area. I prefer “tasteful” or less detailed, quicker scenes like this, or else the writing becomes bland/generic.

Language: English

About me

Gender: Female

Age: 23 I would prefer a 20+ partner, but please be 18+, as suggestive content might slip out into my writing at some point whether or not we are writing smut. 

Please have the ability to be clear and literate!

How to contact me: Message me here for my email! pimento-mortis.tumblr.com

[pass-the-bechdel]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine season three full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

73.91% (seventeen of twenty-three).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

33.21%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Three (episode three ‘Boyle’s Hunch’ (41.66%), episode eleven ‘Hostage Situation’ (45.45%), and episode twenty-one ‘Maximum Security’ (40%)).

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Zero.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Eighteen. Seven who appeared in more than one episode, three who appeared in at least half the episodes, and three who appeared in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Forty-eight. Eleven who appeared in more than one episode, six who appeared in at least half the episodes, and four who appeared in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Nothing bad, but nothing particularly impressive either, which is a let-down for this show. It has encouraged its audience to expect a higher standard (average rating of 3).

General Season Quality:

Messy. Not disastrous, but not quite the sure thing it felt like it was in the first two seasons. It’s still a good time, but it feels unfocused and occasionally tone-deaf.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Well, the good news is that despite the stats not being as good as I hoped they might be for this show, they are an improvement on the first and second seasons, albeit a negligible one. Something is better than nothing. Not that the something we got was that dire; I’m just not really sure what to say about it, in the end. I said it was messy, and I meant it.

The season started out ok, with the status quo all changed up, Holt in the PR division, the Vulture in the Nine-nine. I do think it was a good move, not dragging out that set up for too long, but they had good fun with it for the few episodes that it lasted, and most importantly, they milked some great character/relationship fodder out of it, proving that it wasn’t just a bang-and-bluster idea to close out the second season, with no real fallout on the other side. As much as we both want our Captain back and can feel fairly sure that we’ll get him, delivering on that and returning to the status quo within the first episode or two of the season would have cheapened the event. A handful of episodes of hardship followed by an emotionally satisfying sacrifice to restore the natural order is much, much better. It’s not about shocking twists, it’s about character arcs, and the journey to Holt’s reinstatement was a quality one that enhanced the personal and combined narratives of Holt, Jake, and Amy. Unfortunately, it seems like the quality journeys and character-enhancing narratives kinda stopped there.

Obviously, various other events took place after that arc concluded, and many opened up new avenues of exploration for our characters. The problem is the consistency of that exploration, or rather, the lack of it. The personal lives and narratives of the characters seemed to be on-again, off-again, there was little sense of them as developing events that remain in play even when they’re not actively on screen. For example: there’s no forgetting that Terry has twin girls at home in the first two seasons, even though the kids and his wife are almost never on screen. Terry mentions them often, he has sub-plots relevant to his home life even if the home life itself isn’t depicted, and even when there’s no explicit evidence that he’s a family man, it remains present in his personality; he’s responsible and settled, he’s not on the dating scene, he’s a paternal presence for the rest of the squad, etc. There’s a consistent image of Terry Jeffords that maintains our memory of his personal details even when they’re not active elements of his on-screen behaviour or plots. The fact that he just welcomed a third child this season, however? Easily forgotten. It almost never comes up at all. A major change like that SHOULD be reflected in his character (Terry is extra tired lately; Terry is taking extra shifts for the money OR Terry is avoiding working overtime so that he can get home to help with the family; Terry is more stressed; Terry is extra friendly because he’s full of familial love and it’s overflowing into his work life). Normally, these are exactly the sorts of things that would be incorporated into subplots that allow us to explore different facets of the character, thereby reinforcing the audience’s retention of new character details while also allowing the character to get into whatever fun little not-necessarily-meaningful shenanigans the plot wants of them. This season frequently lacked this kind of basic character consistency, using characters for random not-necessarily-meaningful shenanigans that could have happened at any time in the series, or with any character. WHO is involved becomes irrelevant, because their personality isn’t being used to enhance the plot, there’s nothing being continued or fleshed out or just reinforced in the audience’s memory, and that leaves us with nothing much to hold on to. Stuff happened, and maybe it was fun in the moment, but you forget it almost as soon as it leaves the screen.

The consequence of a lack of character engagement - not the same thing as just having the character’s be present - is that disjointed effect that I complained about regularly across the season as I struggled with subplots that I frequently forgot were happening even mid-episode, despite the fact that conceptually at least, they were fun ideas. Nothing was using the characters properly, and so their personalities seemed to be shelved whenever they weren’t being handed specific single-episode personal content, and the consequence of THAT was that sometimes even when the characters were ‘on’, they felt off, forced, awkward, because their behaviour wasn’t consistent with what it had been the previous episode when they were given some meaningless subplot that existed for no other reason than to make sure all the actors earned their paychecks week by week. And that’s part of the problem, again: shenanigans written not for character, but just to fill space, just to give whoever isn’t involved in the central plot of the episode something to do in the meantime. They were much, much better at making the narratives flow together in the first two seasons, so that even perfunctory busy-work subplots didn’t FEEL like perfunctory busy-work subplots. Again, the key to that was character engagement, not just character presence. The shenanigans should be driven by the personalities of the characters; if the personalities of the characters are being molded to facilitate a shenanigan, you’re getting character presence, not engagement. 

AND THEN THERE WAS PIMENTO. As I noted while watching the episodes, both the dude and the plot he brought with him were erratic, sometimes super serious, high-stakes, and not funny, and sometimes slapsticky weird-for-the-sake-of-it comedy, and the tonal back and forth was a mess. There were aspects of Pimento’s very clear need for intensive therapy which I was not comfortable seeing as the butt of a joke, and of course the whole plot of FBI moles and witness protection which brought us to our season finale and the status quo shake-up coming in to next season was a cut entirely above what the show had served us previously. At mid-season, they did their very own Die Hard episode, and I was delighted by how they balanced the action-movie-style jeopardy with the show’s traditional comedic flavour. The Pimento episodes and the story that followed was still fun, still good watching, and it was some of the most character-consistent and engaged plotting they had turned in over a very patchy season, but it also set a strange precedent on a wobbly foundation. I’m not sure the show can sustain this level of serious intrigue, or that it intends to, and my concern is that it’s hard to back off from something like this and return to being irreverent without leaving a weird dark cloud over the show. Pimento and his game-changer narrative came out of nowhere, meaning that even when it was good, it was out of place, and I’m not sure what else I can say about that until I’ve seen how it plays out in season four. It just feels kinda like no one was paying that much attention to what kind of stories they were telling in this season, or how it was hanging together, or whether or not individual characters were having meaningful narratives that continued to impact their lives in large or small ways as time went by, the way that normal things do. I guess my wish-list for season four is looking pretty clear at this point. Nine-nine?

[fyrapartnersearch]

Marvel Roleplayers!

Fandom: MCU, Avengers/Marvel

Pairing: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff (Romanogers), Steve/Bucky Barnes (Stucky), Bucky/Natasha (BuckyNat/WinterWidow), Steve/Peggy Carter (Steggy) Steve/Sharon Carter (Staron).

If you’re for a ship involving any combo of these characters let me know and I’ll tell you how I feel. I basically ship Steve with a whole ton of people, so if you’d like to play someone I haven’t listed opposite him I’ll let you know my thoughts. I CAN do Stony but the borderline-toxicity (in my opinion) of their MCU relationship somewhat turns me off and makes me hesitant.

I’m also not opposed to writing platonic and/or nonsexual relationships/friendships if you would prefer. This would extend to a wider range of characters you or I could play.

Character(s) you want to play: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Peggy Carter, Sharon Carter, Bucky Barnes 

Clearly, Steve is my main. I love him and he consumes me. This does not mean I’m opposed to you playing him if you’d like!

Character(s) you want your partner to play: Any I’ve listed opposite my character

Setting: Canon. I am alright with slight changes to canon (e.g. modern Peggy or Bucky, no civil war, added headcanons etc.), but like to expand on and explore the characters and worlds which are already established 

Prompt: For something long-term, I’d probably tailor a prompt/starter to your preferences. But some topics/ideas I’d like to explore:

-Undercover mission that lasts longer and grows more complicated than anticipated. Could be “pretend marriage.” Characters discover more of each other than they ever thought they would. Probably slow burn.

-I have stumbled upon this child during a field op and now the child is living with us temporarily. This is somehow legal.

-Held hostage/captive together and subjected to harsh conditions, whatever that may be. Injuries sustained. Limits pushed. Etc.

-“Stranded.” Setting tbd. Probably island. Maybe arctic. Other characters can be present. Survival tactics ensue.

-Apocalypse. Probably of the Zombie variety. Imminent threats. Stakes are high.

Basically, I love high stakes and thrill, and two characters relying on each other to get through.

  RP Style: I looove detail, character headspace, emotional description and imagery. I will likely write 2-3 paragraphs, more if I am into it. If you can’t match this every time that’s fine, but try not to gradually taper off. I am completely fine with you taking control of the narrative in your turns, adding plot points or events etc., as long as we’re sticking with the general story and concepts we’ve established.

Platform: Generally I email. However I have a discord I rarely use and if this is your preferred method for RP I will give it a try!

Tropes: Intense angst or intense fluff, there’s no in between (just kidding, in between/both is always good) I love a good m/f power couple. Emotional and physical hurt/comfort. I like trauma exploration and giving my characters more trauma :) I will write smut if you’d like but this isn’t my strong area. I prefer “tasteful” or less detailed, quicker scenes like this, or else the writing becomes bland/generic.

Language: English

Please have an ability to be clear and literate!

About me

Gender: Female

Age: 23 I would prefer a 20+ partner but please be 18+, as adult content will slip out in my writing whether we are doing smut or not

How to contact me: Message me here for my email! pimento-mortis.tumblr.com

[faeriesareforreal]

That's Her Girl

The door to the evidence lockup swung open, revealing an anxious Rosa. "Jake, I need to talk to you about something before Gina gets here… what are you doing?"

Jake stopped disassembling the confetti cannons and turned to face the confused Rosa, wiping non-existent sweat from his brow in a vain attempt at looking tough. "Well, I was preparing for Gina and her baby's big entrance, but Terry says you can't shoot confetti at an infant. What kind of rule is that?" He shrugged. "I'm guessing I'm gonna have to get rid of the sparklers, too, huh?"

"Probably," Rosa agreed. "Look, Jake, you had such great advice when it came to my parents…"

"Well, yeah," Jake agreed, adopting a dramatic tone. "I guess when you speak from the heart… dammit, I got confetti in my Lucky Charms."

"Jake," Rosa began again, unamused. "I still haven't told Gina that I'm bi."

"Really? That's what's got you worried?" he asked in disbelief. "It's Gina, she'll be totally cool with it."

"Are you sure?" Rosa narrowed her eyes. "I mean, I'm not saying she won't accept it, but… you know, sometimes people don't like change."

"You haven't changed," Jake reminded her. "You're the same as you've always been. Gina will get that. Besides, she's got a baby now. She's got more important things to worry about."

"Guess so," Rosa agreed hesitantly. "Thanks, man." She turned to walk out.

"Hey, Rosa?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I aciddentally superglued my hands together."

"What the hell were you using-"

"She's here, she's here!" Boyle squealed, practically skipping around the room. "I've missed my sister so much!"

"Is everybody ready?" Amy asked. "Hitchcock, where's Scully?"

"In the bathroom checking out the weird pimple on his butt. He says if he's not out in ten minutes, he needs one of us to go in and pop it for him," Hitchcock answered calmly.

"Nose goes," Jake announced, frantically slamming his index finger against his nose.

"Nobody's gonna be popping Scully's ass zit," Terry informed the group loudly, glaring at Hitchcock.

"Okay, okay, focus, people, focus!" Amy snapped. "It's just like we rehearsed. When the captain gives us the word that Gina is in the elevator…"

Ding.

The elevator opened, revealing Gina in all her usual splendor, her baby girl balanced on her hip. "Greetings, peasants," she announced, boldly strutting out. If it wasn't for the drooling infant, it would have seemed as if nothing had changed. "I have arrived in order to bless you both with my presence and that of my spawn."

"I apologize for not signaling, Santiago." Captain Holt emerged from behind Gina. "But Peralta changed the code word so many times I'm afraid I lost count."

"Sorry, Babe," Jake muttered, watching his irritated fiancée with wide, guilty eyes.

"It's great to see you, Gina," Terry cut in, making his way over to the woman and her child. "You look great."

Gina chuckled. "As do you, Terrence, as do you." She turned to address the crowd once more. "I know my maternal glow may frighten some, but don't be afraid. Come, cradle my child if you wish, but please wash your hands if you're going to touch her." She protectively hugged her child closer. "And Hitchcock, you and Scully are required to stay at least ten feet away at all times."

"Can I hold her?"

The question shocked everyone in the room into silence, all except for a giggling baby girl who was reaching out towards the cuff of the expectant detective's leather jacket.

"Oh, of course," Gina replied after a moment, tenderly passing the baby into Rosa's arms. "Now, make sure you keep her head elevated- yeah, just like that." Gina smirked down at the little girl's round face. "She loves her Auntie Rosa, doesn't she?"

Rosa smiled as she became more comfortable with the action. "Huh. This is what you've been missing out on work to do?"

Gina sighed. "Well, there's something she does that reminds me a whole lot of this precinct."

"What's that?" Rosa asked, genuinely curious, before wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Gross." She held the baby out in front of her right as it began to bawl.

Gina took her back. "Yep, her little poops smell just like Scully's feet," she announced. "I've been trying to train her to warn me by chanting ancient witches' spells right before she takes a dump, but she hasn't really caught on." She patted her daughter's back, trying to soothe her. "Captain, can we discuss what happens when I get back in, say, five minutes? I need to change this one's diaper." She didn't wait for Holt's approval before casting her gaze to Amy. "Hey, Ames, you wanna come give me a hand?"

Amy smiled sweetly and placed a hand over her heart, truly touched. "You want my help with your baby?" she asked earnestly.

"Yeah, I think I forgot a diaper, and that jacket looks close enough to one."

"Well, Gina, we're pleased to see you in good health," Captain Holt began, sitting across from his secretary at his desk.

"Very conversational of you, Captain," Gina noted. "Has Jake been teaching you small talk while I've been gone?"

"Yes, much to my dismay," he answered. "But I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask a few more questions."

"Ask away, for I am a fountain of knowledge," Gina said with a flourish of her hand. The baby made a farting noise.

"How's this small human's father, who, if I recall correctly, is also a cousin of Boyle's?" The captain inquired, eyebrows raised.

"We actually split up," Gina informed him, waving it off. "We weren't in sync."

"I see," he responded, puzzled. "And he's still involved with the child?"

"Yes," Gina answered. "We simply won't be producing any more offspring. It's probably for the best, too. Any more and they might try to assassinate her as the one true heir." She hugged her baby protectively, as if this was a very real and dangerous threat.

"I see," Holt repeated, unable to read Gina's expression.

There was a knock on the door before Charles cracked it open. "Captain, Scully's trapped in the toilet again. Sarge says he can't get him out. Should we call plumbing?"

Holt sighed, rubbing his temples in exasperation. "Excuse me," he told Gina, standing up and walking briskly out into the bullpen. "Peralta, put the power drill down!"

Boyle' feet stayed planted just inside the office, though. "I don't mean to pry," he began, tone suggesting that he very much meant to pry. "But I heard you split up with Milton. How're you holding up?"

"None of your business, Charles."

"It's very much my business. You're my sister and he's both my cousin and the father of your child."

Gina groaned. "You have got to stop saying stuff like that, Boyle," she chided.

"Answer the question," he pressed.

"I'm fine," Gina answered, waving him off. "Better than fine, actually. I have brought into this world a child free of the constraints of a patriarchy ridden society."

"Oh," Boyle exclaimed softly. "Cool." He looked out the window into the bullpen, looking directly at Rosa's desk. "So, did Rosa tell you?" he asked, lifting his eyebrows.

"That she broke up with Pimento?" Gina inquired. "Oh, I saw that coming way before it happened. They were like a flame: the burned bright while they lasted, but eventually they burned out."

"Okay…" Boyle frowned. "Not what I meant, though. You know, how she came out as bi?"

Gina smiled knowingly. "Yeah, I figured."

"Really?"

She waved vaguely. "There were… signs."

"Really?" Boyle repeated, still confused.

"Well, only a trained eye such as mine could pick up on them," she explained mysteriously.

Boyle grinned. "Is she gonna introduce you guys?" he asked in excitement.

"What are you talking about?"

From behind Boyle, Gina caught of a beautiful woman marching through the bullpen, past a group of uniformed officers, right up to Rosa's desk, and…

"Oh." Finals voice was so soft it was almost inaudible. Her lips remained parted as she stared in shock at the gorgeous woman who was kissing Rosa in front of everyone, not giving a damn who was watching.

"Yeah," Boyle said, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets. "They do that a lot."

Gina cleared her throat. "Charles, it's been a while since I fed her," she informed him, hoisting her baby up. "Mind giving me some privacy?"

"Oh, of course! Hey, how's the breastfeeding been going? Does it hurt? Genevieve and I have all these great, informative books from back when we were trying to inseminate-"

Gina groaned loudly. "How is it that you're making the miracle of life repulsive?" She questioned incredulously. "Get out!"

He obliged, scurrying away, shouting something about a plunger and and Scully's buttocks as he went, leaving Gina to state out into the bullpen.

Gina placed her daughter on Holt's desk, one hand on her back to steady her. She grabbed the pride flag from Holt's pencil cup and began chewing on the end, but Gina was too preoccupied to care.

She'd run out of chances. She had a baby now, and Rosa, finally comfortable in her identity, had found a beautiful girlfriend… they both had very different needs in life right now. And Gina was happy for her. She wanted everything to go perfectly for Rosa Diaz, to never see her go through another heartbreak again. And yet…

"Hey," she whispered, taking her daughter's hand. "You see her? You see your Auntie Rosa?" She pointed the baby's chubby finger at the incredible, brave detective. "That's the love of my life. It took me way too long to realize it, but… that's my girl."

The baby couldn't possibly have understood what her mother had just said, but she turned to look at the other woman, now leaning against Rosa's desk and speaking softly. Whatever she was saying, it was lighting Rosa's face up. Gina used to be the one that did that. "And that… that's her girl."

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 5 Retrospective

Finished season 5 rewatch a few days ago. Season 5 was an eventful year for the show, on and off the screen. Off screen the show got cancelled on Fox, had a huge public outcry over the cancellation which included several celebrities, and then got picked up by NBC all in 48 hours. It was an exhilarating time as a B99 fan. Lot of stuff happened on screen as well, Jake and Rosa were in prison, team got them out, Jake and Amy got engaged, Rosa came out as bisexual to the precinct and her parents, Holt was in the running to be NYPD Commissioner, Amy became a Sergeant, and then Jake and Amy got married. Eventful season to say the least. Its also my favorite season of the show.

Honestly, this season is about as close to perfection I felt with a season. In other seasons there are at least an episode or two which I felt were meh or problematic. Season 5 is near flawless. I think Return to Skyfire is the weakest of the episodes but its still pretty fun. There are several episodes of season 5 that all rank in the top 10 B99 episodes in my opinion. The show also takes some risks with a couple of experimental episodes. There are episodes with a lot of heart, there are episodes that absolutely hilarious, there are ensemble episodes, there are two hander episode. some excellent new guest stars, and many great recurring stars.

I think the two prison episodes are pretty interesting. Tim Meadows as Caleb is absolutely amazing. He is so likable and low key hilarious that the fact that he's a cannibal who eats children always feels like a dark surprise. He and Andy Samberg make for a fun duo. The first of the two episodes is particularly fun. The show doesn't hesitate to show the danger of Jake being in the prison, especially the situation he finds himself by the end of the premiere. The show does connect one story to the next pretty seamlessly with the end of the Melanie Hawkins story connecting the the Seamus Murphy story which then connected to the Holt commissioner story. There are also a couple of really good experiments in experiments and story with The Box and Show Me Going. The Box is B99 at its most confident. Apart from Gina very briefly at the beginning and Boyle very briefly at the end, the entire episode really hinges on only three characters. Jake, Holt, and Sterling K. Brown's Dr. Davidson. Its a brilliant showcase for all three actors and all three characters. I believe Brown got a Guest Actor Emmy nomination for his performance and he's brilliant as the smarmy Dentist who really is in control for majority of the episode. Braugher and Samberg were old pros with their dynamic at this point and this is fantastic Jake and Holt episode because you completely get why Jake wants so badly to prove that he's right in front of Holt why being cast as the screw up and the idiot in the interrogation frustrates him so much because we know how much Holt's approval means to him. We also see why Terry call Jake his best detective back in season 1 because of how he riles up Davidson to get the confession at the end and getting the approval of Holt that he wanted. Its an incredibly satisfying episode and one of the show's best imo. Then there is also 'Show me Going' which is a surprisingly tense episode in which nothing tense actually happens on screen. The episode does a great job working with the fact that the only knowledge the squad has is that Rosa is on the scene of an active shooter situation. Basically we are in the same situation as the characters. Since all the characters are on edge, so are we. The show does a nice job balancing humor and recognize the danger of the situation.

The season has probably my favorite B99 episode and definitely by fav B99 Halloween episode with HalloVeen. Whereas the last three Halloween episodes were predictable or spoiled from the promos, this one actually threw a genuine surprise. I knew Jake and Amy would get engaged some point in the season, but I expected it to be on the much hyped 99th episode. Instead it can much earlier with HallowVeen and its a delight from start to finish. Its great to rewatch the episode because you pick up little signs that Jake was a bit more desperate to win than usual. First when he says that planning for the heist is what got him through prison time, and then when he says to Boyle that he has to win this time and this heist is way too important. On first watch, these details just slip by as regular overzealous Jake but they have additional poignancy on repeat. The actual proposal moment is handled beautifully in a very peraltiago way where it is both funny and romantic, with Charles' reaction being the cherry on top. There are quite a few strong related episodes that follow. The Venue being a fun return with the Vulture, Two Turkeys being a TWW reunion with Smits and Whitford returning as Amy and Jake's fathers. Its a better Thanksgiving episode than the previous season Smits appearance. Bachelor/ette party is another glorious episode with wild, fun shenanigans with Reginald VelJohnson appearing as himself. Jake & Amy is a very typical wedding episode where everything goes wrong but its perfect in all the right ways. Its heartwarming and sweet. You get more examples of how Jake and Amy are perfect for each other with Jake knowing the inside and outs of how Amy stresses out, and then ending on a wonderful B99 wedding with Fred Armisen returning to make a cameo appearance as Mlep(clay)nos. The episode was designed to work as a series finale since the potential for cancellation was there and while it leaves the season on a cliffhanger about Holt's job, its the sort of cliffhanger that we could have interpreted positively if the show hadn't gotten picked up by NBC.

The 99th and 100th episode of the show were also memorable. The creators chose to acknowledge the 99th episode in a way that most shows acknowledge the 100th episode, in true 99 style. Its a full ensemble episode barring the absence of Chelsea who would return on the 100th episode. Its a typical road trip episode which kickstarts the Holt commissioner storyline. It also is the episode where Rosa comes out as Bi to Charles. This was obviously a big story for Stephanie since she is bi as well and she championed this story. It gets explored in further depth next episode, but Stephanie Beatriz gets to do some of her best work in these two episodes, showing her vulnerability without losing her toughness. Game Night honestly feels very true to not just coming out as Bi to your parents but true to any child who has to confess something that would be against their conservatives parents' values. I think Game Night is a fantastically bittersweet episode and Danny Trejo is brilliantly cast as Rosa's father. The episode positions him as the parent whose reaction Rosa is most worried about and I love how they show that while its difficult for him to grasp the concept bisexuality, he comes around to accepting it and accepting Rosa. But the episode is still bittersweet with Rosa's mom not having come to terms with it. Its also an excellent Rosa and Jake episode where we see Jake endure incredibly uncomfortable situations to help Rosa. Its a characteristic that helps make Jake so endearing that he's willing to cross all limits for his friends.

There are lots of fun and hilarious episodes in between. Craig Robinson shows up as Doug Judy in The Negotiations which is another fun ep. Kevin and Jake get a great episode dealing with their dynamic in Safe House. Rosa and Amy have some fun in White Whale as the Sleuth Sisters. Pimento returns in Gray Star Mutual for some more crazy shenanigans. Gray Star Mutual also has my favorite cold open of all time with Jake leading a suspect lineup in a rendition of 'I got it that way', totally forgetting the crime that he's got the lineup for. Its pitch perfect and I've lost count of how many times I've seen that cold open on youtube. It basically has its own fanbase and introduced so many people to B99. We also get to see Naseem Pedrad as Jake's sister Katie and the end up having a cute dynamic. David Fumero shows up in The Puzzle Master. There are also pretty funny episodes dealing with some serious subject matter such Jake dealing with his own doubts in his ability to do his job after Prison in Kicks and Holt dealing with gambling addiction in Bad Beat. All handled very sensitively.

All in all, this was a fantastic season for the show. I had a blast rewatching it and it ended the Fox era in spectacular note. A 9.5/10. Now on to season 6.

'

[goodnewsjamaica]

Jamaica Ya Man! Travels to The Land of Bob Marley

New Post has been published on https://goodnewsjamaica.com/travel/jamaica-ya-man-travels-to-the-land-of-bob-marley/

Jamaica Ya Man! Travels to The Land of Bob Marley

Negril, with the longest, continuous stretch of white sand beach in Jamaica, is where the ganja cookie crumbles at a laid-back pace. My husband and I flew into Jamaica’s Montego Bay airport and drove to Negril, about two hours away. Adult-only hotels are tucked into rocky overlooks. Nudist beaches make suntans seamless. Smooth sands give silently beneath bare feet for miles and miles. The white velvet spreads into the ocean where fish dart around in the warm, clear waters. Music drifts down the beach like ganja smoke filling the lungs. Euphoric Negril is a playground of the true lover.

We stayed in the Charela Inn, that is situated right on the beach – one that the owner and hotelier Daniel Grizzle has zealously safeguarded.  Together with his wife (now deceased) the couple forced the Government to shelve plans to mine peat in the Great Morass area in the 1980s, which, according to scientists, would have ruined the legendary seven-mile beach and turned the area into a desert.  

The Charela Inn itself is very attractive and in the center of all action. Each room has either a private patio or a private balcony. Our room overlooked the freshwater pool. The white sand and crystal-clear waters of Negril’s beach, which made it to underwater photographer Tanya Burnett-Palmer’s Top 10 List for CNN Travel, were just steps away.

The best snorkeling spots for beginners are offshore and not accessible from the beach. As someone who cannot swim, I was worried as I scrambled into Captain Mike’s glass-bottom boat. We zoomed to the middle of the [sea] where the live corals sway and Captain Mike led me gently into the waters. As we floated together, he pointed out brain corals and sea urchins. Angelfish, boxfish and goatfish nibbled at my fingers as they ate the breadcrumbs offered to them.

I could have snorkeled for hours enjoying the stunning underwater landscape made by the coral in a rainbow of colors. Some of the most common coral and reef species include green- and purple-base anemone, red cauliflower-, flowerpot-, star- and bubble coral.

Is Life a Jerk for the Vegetarian?

Much to the delight of my vegetarian husband, we discovered that Rastafarian food is Ital or vegetarian, with lots of green vegetables, no milk, no meat and no salt. Perfect at breakfast is ackee, a fruit that obligingly pops open when it is ripe. Ackee looks and tastes like bhurjee or soft scrambled eggs when cooked with onions and tomatoes. Collard greens look-alike callaloo, and doughnut look-alike “festival bread” or dumplings complete the breakfast.

An experience in color and flavor is created by combining bright orange squash, with yellow curried ackee, and yellow plantain.  Scallion, thyme, garlic, onion, pimento, tomato and curry powder are all common seasonings in Rastafarian food.

For meat-lovers, jerk-seasoned grilled chicken, pork and fish are served with a spicy sauce. Fish prepared escovitch-style is seasoned, fried and marinated with a peppery, vinegar-based dressing made colorful with julienned bell peppers, carrots and onions. Goat and other meats are curried too. Beans cooked with coconut milk and vegetables are served with rice. Standard sides include steamed plantains, yams, sweet potato and breadfruit.

Fruits are plentiful in this tropical paradise. We sampled a variety of mangoes at the local market.  In addition to a local one called “Julie” there were East Indian varieties. Sadly, a mango called “Bombay,” which we were told was the sweetest of them all, was not available. Nesberry, familiar to us as sapota or chickoo, also made a delightful snack.

Red Stripe beer, brewed in Jamaica, and rum are the alcoholic beverages of choice on the island. A number of souvenir shops offer rum tastings. “The locals have small shots of rum through out the day,” said the shop assistant at one, where we stopped for a sample. Soursop, a member of the sitaphal or custard apple family, added tang and smoothness to a cocktail with rum and coconut cream. We washed our day down with chilled coconut water sipped from the shell and sugarcane juice freshly squeezed by the roadside.

MONTEGO BAY

We drove back from Negril to Montego Bay where we stayed in “Polkerris,” a well-appointed and luxurious bed-and-breakfast, owned by the Bennetts.  Jeremy Bennett came to Jamaica in 1962, fell in love with the island and his partner Clarissa, whom he married in 1970. Needless to say, he never left. The Bennetts host guests in their beautiful country house, which is just a ten-minute stroll from the restaurants and clubs of the Gloucester Avenue Hip Strip, Doctor’s Cave Beach and the Aqua Sol Theme Park. As a guest put it, you really will feel like you are visiting your rich relatives in Jamaica.

Tale of the East Indian and the Rastafarian

The National Museum West in downtown Montego Bay is a treasure trove of information about the history and culture of Jamaica. With respect to the Rastafarian story however, the Museum tells an incomplete tale.

Classified as both a new religious- and social movement, the Rastafari culture developed in Jamaica during the 1930s when Ras (Chief) Tafari was crowned the King of Ethiopia. The Indian cultural influence on the Rastafarian movement is undeniable. A Kingston couple Laxmi Mansingh and Professor Ajai Mansingh outline the connection between the Rastas and the Indian culture in Home Away From Home: 150 years of Indian presence in Jamaica. The Rastas are vegetarian, family-loving people, who worship the Goddess Kali. They wear their hair like the sadhus of India (devotees of Lord Shiva) and like them, smoke marijuana, which the Rastas also call ganja.

The first Rasta, Leonard P. Howell, took the spiritual name “Gong Guru” or Gongunguru Maragh (Gangunguru Maharaj), say Stephen Davis and Helen Lee in their book The First Rasta: Leonard Howell and The Rise of Rastafarianism. The name Gongunguru is a combination of three Hindi words – gyan (wisdom), gun (virtue), and guru (teacher). Howell started a community called the “Pinnacle,” which was especially known for the cultivation of cannabis, which has religious significance for the Rastafarians.

In the early to mid-nineteenth century, the British recruited Indians – from the tribes in the hills of Eastern India and from the Central provinces of Bihar and Uttar Pradesh – into the sugar colonies. For the indentured black population, the new Indian laborers seemed kindred spirits; their struggles had the empathy of the Rasta. Solidarity was soon established between the communities, both of which were brutalized economically and politically. The Rastafarian culture appears to be a result of the synthesis of these cultural interactions.

The Jamaican dancehall music – which also reflects the merging of East Indian and West Indian influences – is based on themes of survival, suffering and struggle, that inner-city black Jamaicans face on a daily basis, albeit in a more aggressive idiom than the Rasta-inspired reggae. Songs such as “Suhani Gyul” bring a smile to one’s lips as they seek their inspiration from old Bollywood songs and produce a Chutney remix – Arti & Zoelah’s Wine Up on Me.

The Jamaican motto is: Out of Many, One People; unfortunately, both Indo-Jamaicans and Rastafarians downplay each other’s influence, as they look outside the borders of Jamaica towards their mother countries – India and Africa.

Interestingly Edwards, the black security guard outside Ivans Bar, who after careful consideration, decided we were Indian, went on to share that his great-grandfather was Indian.  He proceeded to tell us the story of Bahubali and so immersed was he in the whys and wherefores of the movie that when our taxi came Edwards was very disappointed to see his audience leave.

How to Speak like a Jamaican

English is the official language of Jamaica, but the majority speaks a form of English Creole or “Patois” (pr. patwa). Patois was derived out of a need to communicate between peoples who did not share a common language, the English masters and the slaves.

Here are standard greetings that can be heard around the island:

Waa gwaan? –     What’s going on?

Waddup”       –     What’s up?

Yo                 –      Hey!

One love       –      An expression of unity, love and respect for all. One love, my brudder. One love, Sistreen!

From the time Christopher Columbus first set foot on Jamaica on May 6th, 1494, the island has seen increasing traffic year after year. All-inclusive hotels attract tourists in large numbers. “Enjoy the white beaches and chilled attitude before the island is run over completely,” says our driver Phillips as we head back to the airport, “Fo you can be shore that is coming.”

Yaw so nice, Jamaica!

~To book your room at the Polkerris in Montego Bay, please visit: www.montegobayinn.com.

~Guha Shankar’s book “Imagining India(ns): Cultural Performances and Diaspora Politics in Jamaica” provided good insight.

~Phillips, our fabulous driver in Montego Bay, can meet you at the airport and drive you around.  He can be reached on Whatsapp at 1 (876) 447-0904.

By: Ritu Marwah

Original Article Found Here

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