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queen-swagzilla · 4 years ago

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So Much Worse Than A Phantom Limb, Ch. 2 (BkDk)

"Kacchan?"

Katsuki turned to the voice right behind him, but there was no one there. "Deku?"

"Kacchan, where are you?"

He spun in a circle. "Where the hell are you, nerd?"

"Kacchan!" He sounds so scared. Where the hell is he?

He ran toward the voice, running through the park and into the woods until he came to a log bridge—old and weathered. From the way it creaked, he thought it must have rotted through. Deku stood in the center, but he was so small. "Deku, get away from there."

"Kacchan, I'm scared." He whispered. Katsuki gritted his teeth and slowly—so slowly—crept onto the bridge. As soon as his foot made contact, the world went fuzzy.

Now they were on a roof. Katsuki glanced around—Aldera? Why were they on the roof of Aldera? He looked back at Deku and froze. He was perched on the ledge, facing away from him. "DEKU. Get the fuck away from there." He snapped, panicking.

"Kacchan?" Deku asked, looking over his shoulder. "Why are you crying?" He turned around but didn't step down.

"Deku, please." He reached out. "Get down from there."

"But I'm tired, Kacchan. Isn't this what you wanted?" He asked, before leaning back.

"Deku!" He screamed, blasting forward and reaching out—clutching the nerd's shitty middle school uniform in tight fists. The world blurred again as they fell together.

They were on a battlefield, and Katsuki clutched Deku tightly. His body was riddled with holes and he spluttered as he choked on his blood. "Kacchan?"

"Don't talk, goddamnit." He snarled, pressing hands futilely against his gaping wounds.

"Gotta. No time. Tell mom I'm sorry."

"Tell her yourself, shithead."

"I need you to do something."

"Stop. Talking."

"Take One For All. I need you to take it."

"Fuck you."

"Kacchan, please." He gasped. "No time."

And the asshole was right. He could feel Deku's pulse slowing. His eyes were dimming. "How?"

Deku lifted a ravaged arm to slide his bloodied hand into Katsuki's hair, and pulled him down for a kiss filled with blood and gravel. "Glad I got to do that. Love you, y'know." He went limp in Katsuki's arms.

Katsuki woke up screaming.

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The next five days were hard. He hadn't counted on how difficult it would be to see his classmates crying over Deku's broken body. The first group to visit, much to his surprise and relief, was not Deku's inner circle. He didn't think he was ready for that. Instead, he brought Aoyama, Tsu, Sato, Shoji, and Sero to see him first. He supposed that was just because they'd been in the common room when the signup sheet had been posted. So had Hagakure, Yaomomo, and Shinso who had put down Mirio's name. Their group went on the second day.

"No matter what happens, I'm proud to have you as a friend, mon ami." Aoyama had sobbed.

"You're so strong, ribbit. It seems ridiculous to say goodbye when it feels like you're around every corner." Tsuyu croaked. "So do us all a favor and hang on."

"You should come back now." Sato cried quietly. "But if you have to go, don't worry. Bakugou's been taking good care of your mom, and we'll take good care of him." His breath hitched. "But you should come back. If you do, I'll make you that matcha and lavender roll cake I was telling you about."

Shoji was quiet and morose. "I'm sorry this happened to you." There wasn't much more for him to say.

"Katsuki hasn't said goodbye yet, so neither will I." Sero admitted softly, brushing Izuku's hair back. "He's scared, but I can tell he hasn't really given up. So as long as he's got hope, I will too. You want to be the symbol of hope, right?" Katsuki didn't look at him the whole walk back to the dorm.

When they arrived, Sato planted himself back in the kitchen, and a small group congregated in the common room to wait for Katsuki so that they could go to the Midoriya's to help tidy. "Bring your homework, Kat." Mina instructed. "We'll clean while you work. You've been losing valuable study time at the hospital."

"I'm supposed to be helping you guys clean up." He argued.

"No." She put her foot down. "We'll tidy. You study. If we have questions about where something is supposed to go, we'll ask." Katsuki looked like he was going to argue, but Mina actually stomped her foot. "I'm not taking no for an answer. Let us help you." He sighed but conceded. When they arrived, he excused himself to Izuku's nerdy All Might shrine of a bedroom, sat at his crowded desk, and tried not to cry as he did the homework for Ectoplasm's class. He didn't succeed, and Mina found him curled in Izuku's bed, sobbing into his pillow.

The next day wasn't any easier, but at least they wouldn't be going to Auntie Inko's that evening. Nonetheless, he listened diligently to his classmates as they spoke to Izuku's prone body.

"We're still looking, Midoriya." He heard Shinso whisper. "If there's something to find, I swear we'll find it. We're not gonna let you go without a fight. Not when you've fought so hard for us."

"We decided not to bring Eri, or that kid you saved at your training camp. We thought this might be too hard for them. Eri especially, since she'd feel bad for not being able to use her quirk to help. She's just not in control enough." Mirio smiled. "You and I both know you wouldn't want her to be upset about something she can't control. But this still sucks. I hope you wake up, buddy. We miss you already."

"You're our lynchpin, Izuku." Hagakure whispered to him. "We'll fall apart without you. We already are." He didn't have to see her to know that she was a wreck. "Please come back. Please."

To his surprise, Momo was angry. It was a quiet sort of anger, but it was anger nonetheless. "I thought you were gonna be number one, Izuku." She hissed, pressing her palms into her eyes. "How are any of us supposed to survive if you can't? You really want Katsuki to be the one we look to for inspiration? We'll all be screaming expletives at victims within a month."

"Hey!" he interrupted, affronted. She gave him a very dry and irritated glance.

"I'm not wrong. He needs to come back. He's the balancing act. The calm to your storm. Iida and I might be the class reps, but when shit hits the fan, it's you two that we look to. We need both of you or else we're all gonna go off the rails." She turned her gaze back to Izuku. "I know I'm supposed to be proper and polite, but this is ridiculous. Get the fuck up. Please get the fuck up."

It was quiet with the first two groups. They huddled around his bed and cried. They offered Auntie Inko their support and hugged Katsuki's parents. They brought flowers and carried the meals that Sato had prepared. Tsu and Momo attended to Katsuki, holding his hand under the guise of needing his support, while knowing that it was the other way around. Katsuki remained strong-jawed and dry-eyed throughout. Only Tsu and Momo knew how his hands shook as he stood at Deku's bedside.

With the first two groups, he had time to check on Auntie Inko as they spoke to her son. "How are you holding up, Auntie?"

She gave him a tearful smile. "Not great. But you're taking such good care of me, so better than I could have hoped." She admitted. "Thank you for dinner, Katsuki."

He shook his head. "Sato made dinner." Her smile turned knowing.

"Because you said that you were going to, right? How else would he have known what to make?" She placed a trembling hand on his cheek. "You've been so strong over the past month. Are you taking care of yourself, too?"

He looked down at his feet. "Trying to. I have some help." She smiled a little wider.

"That's good, sweetheart. We all need help sometimes. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you like you've been here for me. And I'm sorry for asking you to keep it from them. I just—"

"I get it." He interrupted. "He's your son. You need me more. And don't feel bad about not telling them. Focus on him. Don't worry, Auntie—they're taking care of me," he promised. She pulled him in for a hug, and he reminded himself not to cry.

"You're a good boy, Katsuki. You're bad at expressing yourself, but you're so good. Don't forget it, sweetheart."

He pulled away, looking into her teary eyes. He wished he could blame hyperactive Midoriya tear ducts this time. "I actually—tomorrow Izuku's closest friends will be here. We're not super friendly with each other, and I don't want to intrude on their time with him. Do you mind if I wait outside while they're in here?"

"Of course not, Katsuki. You do what feels right. I can keep it together for their visit if you need to excuse yourself." She smiled sadly. "You don't need to do it alone."

He looked back down at the floor. "Thanks, Auntie."

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As planned, they went to his parents' house that evening. He studied while his friends tidied up. Before they made their way back to the dorms, Katsuki pulled a shoebox out from under his bed.

"What's in there, Bakubro?" Eijirou asked as they walked.

"Memories." He replied. Eijirou eyed him.

"Wanna share them with us when we get back? Might make you feel better."

"...Sure."

And he did. His friends brought dinner to his room and bundled in blankets for show-and-tell. He showed them the pictures that his parents had taken of them over the years, from their wild adventures as toddlers in All Might onesies to the uncomfortable photo evidence of middle school "family" dinners. Even when things were strained, Izuku had been in his orbit.

He showed them the little gifts Izuku had given him over the years—at least the ones that fit in the box. That included a limited edition All Might keychain, a "World's Spiciest Recipes" cookbook, and a bookmark with a pressed and preserved leaf—the leaf from a tree on one of Katsuki's favorite hiking trails.

Throughout the evening, Katsuki's heart ached with impending loss. Nobody knew him better than Izuku.

"What's that?" Mina asked, pointing at the folded notepaper in the corner of the box. He sniffed, and wiped at his eyes. He didn't even remember when he started crying. Maybe around the time they'd looked at Christmas pictures.

He unfolded the notes carefully. They were worn and old, yellowing around the edges. "His very first analysis of my quirk. 'S where I got the idea for my hero costume. He's the one that came up with the gauntlets," he admitted, flattening the pages gently before handing them over. The handwriting and accompanying sketch were messy—they'd been done by a six-year-old—but they were detailed and precious.

"He would have been a kick-ass quirk analyst if he wasn't a hero," Hanta muttered, reading over his shoulder. "Those notebooks of his are insane. He came up with so many applications for my quirk in our first year, I'm still learning how to make most of his ideas work."

"He's the one that figured out how to increase my voltage without short-circuiting my brain." Denki smiled.

Mina cackled. "He's the one who figured out that I could make LSD if I ate certain grains!" They all laughed at that and oh it felt good to laugh.

"He's helping me design more versatile support gear with Hatsume." Jirou added, before pausing. "Oh. We should invite Hatsume to come with us to the hospital. We only have four people in our group." She said quietly. "He's one of her only real friends. I'm pretty sure he's the one who makes sure she's taking breaks and eating regularly when she gets all scary about her inventions."

They were quiet again. "Anyone have her number?" Katsuki grunted.

"I don't have her number, but I have some time to stop by her lab tomorrow." Jirou offered. "Our group is going the day after, so that gives her some time to shift plans around."

"Okay."

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He led the third group—Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, Tokoyami, and Koda—to Deku's hospital room, but didn't enter with them. "You're not coming in, Bakugou?" Tokoyami asked, voice deep and brows serious.

"Those three need time with him. They're so pissed at me that if I'm in the room, I'll be the only thing they focus on." He muttered. "Auntie already knows I'm not coming in. I'm gonna be in the cafeteria doing some homework. Come find me when you're ready to leave."

Koda frowned, before bringing his hands up to sign at him. 'Are you sure?' the timid boy asked. 'You should spend as much time with him as you can.'

"I've got a month on you guys. And I'll see him tomorrow. Don't worry about it. Thanks, though." He replied before turning to leave. He missed the look that Tokoyami and Koda shared.

The reception staff smiled warmly at him as he passed. "You're not staying with your friends, honey?" One of Izuku's nurses—Yui, if he remembered correctly (he wasn't exactly good with names)—asked as he passed her in the hall.

"Homework. Gonna work in the cafeteria so that his friends can have some privacy and I can play catch up." He muttered.

"Aw honey, that's so thoughtful," she simpered. She dug in her pockets before handing him a little white card. "It's my employee card for the cafe. Get yourself some coffee and a snack. Just leave the card on Midoriya's bedside before you leave."

He frowned. "I can't accept this."

"You can, and you will. Don't think I haven't noticed you running yourself ragged taking care of your family, young man. It's very admirable. Let me do something for you in turn."

"You already are. You're keeping him alive as long as possible."

"And if he wakes up, I bet he'll be pissed if you're all skinny and malnourished." She replied stubbornly. "Just take the meal card."

He sighed. "Fine. Thank you."

"No sweat." She smiled, before sweeping away from him.

He bought himself a coffee and a curry bun before settling into one of the hellishly uncomfortable cafeteria chairs. All of his teachers had given him extensions, but he was loathe to use them. The longer he put off his work, the harder he'd have to slog in order to catch up.

He jolted when Tokoyami and Koda scraped chairs up next to him and took their seats. "You're done already?"

"We asked the other three if we could go first so that they could have alone time with Midoriya. They agreed. In fact, they seemed grateful." Tokoyami replied. "We thought we'd see if you need any help catching up. You're not far behind, but your mind hasn't been on academia of late."

He knew what they were doing. "You know I'm capable of being alone, right? I'm not gonna spontaneously combust or some shit. You should be taking advantage of your time with him."

'We'll do that when he wakes up.' Koda signed, jaw set stubbornly. 'Besides, you're doing a lot. The least we can do is help you stay caught up to the class.'

"After all, Midoriya will need tutoring when he returns."

What if he doesn't return? Katsuki wanted to ask. But they seemed to be stubbornly refusing the very high likelihood that Izuku was going to die, and Katsuki supposed he could let them have that for now. "Fine. Can you look over my outline for Cementoss's class? I haven't read the whole book yet but the test is next week."

"Sure." Tokoyami agreed, taking the notebook from him.

'Anything I can help with?' Koda asked.

"I'm stuck on the math homework." He admitted. Koda gestured for him to show him, and they got to work. They set up a steady rhythm, where Koda helped coach Katsuki through the problems while Tokoyami read through his Lit outlines and made notes. Time passed faster than he expected, and he was grateful for the distraction.

He was not grateful for what happened next.

"Katsuki—" It was Nurse Yui. He got the impression that she would have been running if it weren't against hospital policy. "Your classmates had to be escorted out by security. Mrs. Midoriya and your parents are really upset."

"What happened?" He demanded, jumping up.

"I'm not sure. I wasn't in the room, I just got there after your mom pressed the nurse call and asked me to get security. Mrs. Midoriya was nonverbal." Behind them, Koda and Tokoyami were packing his bag for him. He glanced at his phone and frowned at the time. It had already been two hours?

"I need to go check on our parents and find out what happened." He said, turning to them. Tokoyami handed him his bag.

"I'll go back and find out what happened from those three. Then I'll let Aizawa know that there was an incident. Koda, you stay behind with Bakugou and find out what happened from his parents' perspective. We're relatively neutral parties, so we'll be able to sort out what happened more calmly."

'Will do. Get going.' Koda instructed before turning to follow Katsuki who was already moving, following swiftly after Nurse Yui.

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Katsuki was pissed. It almost felt good. He'd been so depressed about the nerd, he'd almost forgotten what it felt like to feel this kind of blinding fury. Beside him, Koda was pissed as well, and that felt good too. At least he knew he was justified.

'Go to the gym and blow something up. It's fine that you're pissed, but at this rate you'll blow up the dorm and you don't need to deal with that right now. I'll tell Aizawa what happened and send Kirishima your way.'

"I'm gonna rip them a fucking new one. You're nuts if you think I'm gonna let them off easy for this shit."

'Good. Don't. I might even yell at them,' he glowered. 'But before you go off you need to let off some steam. You don't need to deal with damage liability on top of everything else.'

He made a good point. "Send Ponytail too. She can make dummies that look like their stupid fucking faces for me to blow up," he snarled. Koda flashed him a thumbs up before splitting off from him to find Aizawa.

Momo and Eijirou found him in record time, and Momo didn't even hesitate before making the dummies he requested. "Wanna tell us what went down? Koda just told us where to find you and dipped to find Aizawa." Eijirou said as he helped set up the dummies around the gym.

"Tokoyami looked angry when he got back," Momo added.

He didn't look at them. His eyes were trained on the dummy-doppelgangers; glare fierce and furious. "They wanted to stay past their welcome. They'd been there for two hours and Auntie told them that she'd like to have time alone with Deku, but they hounded her to let them stay. Eventually, my mom tried to step in to put her foot down and they went off at her." He gritted his teeth, jaw grinding in anger. "Said it was her son's fault that they hadn't gotten to see Deku during the time that he was dying and that it was unfair that they'd kept the people who cared about him from seeing him. Auntie started crying and the hag called the nurse and told them that they were upsetting her, so if they didn't leave she'd call security to escort them out. Apparently, that set Icy Hot off, and he said they said that she was 'as malicious and selfish as her son' and yelled at auntie for not being able to see that we were keeping out people we didn't approve of by making her dependent on them. So when the nurse got there, Ma had her call security to drag them out. The hospital might not let the rest of the class visit after that episode. Auntie might not want the rest of the class to visit."

It was quiet for a long, pregnant moment. Then there was a series of loud thunks. Both boys turned to Momo and found her producing more copies of the training dummies. "That should be enough. Stay here until they're all destroyed." She instructed before turning and stomping out of the gym, ponytail swishing violently behind her.

"Where are you going?" Eijirou called after her.

"I didn't punch Iida hard enough last time!" She called back before disappearing through the doors.

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mysterylover123 · 5 years ago

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BNHA Rewatch Season 1 Episode 5 “What I Can Do for Now”

mysterylover123

Finally arriving at UA! Yay!

More of Bakugou and Deku being foils over their entrance exam points. I mentioned that before so I’ll stop now.

Deku and All Might meeting on the beach for cute dad-son antics! I want to read some fanfic set on this beach, BTW, because the manga comments it’s now ‘perfect for dates’. Of note: it’s called Dagobah beach, named after the planet where Luke trains with Yoda. Star Wars reference counter drinking game, initiate!

All Might being paranoid about people recognizing him is so odd in hindsight, given everything. The status quo has changed so much in only 63 episodes and a hundred or so chapters, it’s insane.

Deku starts at UA! The monologue he has is so confusing at first “36 students to a course” - basically, the 4 students that make up the remaining 40 are the recommendation students. It’s just unclear here.

Haha Deku dreading Kacchan and Iida being in his class. And now they’re each like, his closest friends in 1A. Yes, even Bakugo. Irony! I love it.

The seating arrangement is all out of order here! I’ve practically memorized the normal seating chart for 1A (most of my ships sit next to each other, so of course I did), and they’re not sitting there here. Did they just sit down wherever and Aizawa corrected them later? (Never mind, I think it’s right...)

Aizawa makes his entrance - this was spoiled for me ahead of time by a youtube vid, some guy mentioning all the details in BNHA’s background characters and highlighting how delightfully odd it is that Aizawa is in a sleeping bag outside the door.

Aizawa’s quirk apprehension test is odd, considering his own quirk wouldn’t be much use for any of these things. But he did place Momo in first, so I assume he did indeed know what he was doing.

Bakugo is so much calmer and more collected in his early appearances. It’s hard to remember because nowadays he screams at anything, but early Kacchan is much more cocky and subdued. Probably because his confidence hadn’t yet been shattered by IcyHot and Deku beating him.

Love rewatching the introductions to everyone’s quirks! It’s weird seeing these intros, as nowadays we tend to get them more for new side characters; seeing the Main Players getting introduced this way is bizarre.

Lots of characters getting great scores on the quirk app test. I still don’t understand how Mineta and Hagakure scored higher than Deku, who is ripped and fast even without OFA and did well on the ball toss. Aizawa’s introduction is badass here, BTW.

Kacchan yelling about Deku being quirkless is so hilarious knowing what’s coming next. Setup for world to shatter in 3...2...1...

You say Run, in full! Down that drink (I notice that they play it at the climax of 4 EPISODES IN A ROW from episode 4 to episode 7. And it’s amazing every time! it’s like, the most well written hype music ever created. It works for anything.)

Deku figures his way around the problem with his hero smarts and regulation! OMG I love him so much. One of my favorite things about Deku is how smart and creative he is. He’s strategic and when he puts his mind to it, he’s the fastest thinker on the show. And that determined look, I can’t. No wonder All Might and Aizawa are both fanboying over him right now.

BKDK Corner:

Bakugou is really salty about Deku in this episode. His “grand plans” for UA are something from early on that kinda got dropped. It is fun to edit him looking like he’s jealous of Uraraka getting all close and personal with Deku here. Kacchan’s angry jealous glare.

Anyway, though, great to see Deku telling him to go f himself. More politely than that, anyway. As early as episode 5 Deku was standing up to Kacchan, but filler still makes it look like he’s terrified of the guy. Please. Also this flashback just sort of stops. What happened next? We may never know!

I guess most of this stuff isn’t all that shippy, but I do like the small details, like how Bakugou cares more about Deku’s score than his own on the app test and Deku has completely gotten over his nervousness around him. I seriously spent the entirety of these three episodes on my first run-through patiently waiting for Bakugou to find out the truth and see his reaction, and he did not disappoint. (neither did he disappoint when he finally figured out the whole truth. Goddamn. That episode...just wait, 56 more episodes left...)

Best girl of the Episode: Momo Yaoyorozu!