#please they were such silly 11 year olds i love them

[yamumsyadadd]

the forgotten girl (8)

posted this originally on my old account. will be posting twice weekly :)

I tried to move on after the game. I stayed with Keira for a few days, letting her fuss over me because I knew it would make her feel better. I asked Jona to keep me as a bench player, just for a few extra games and he agreed. The team was treating me differently, they were trying to not make it obvious but it was. Anytime I paired up with someone they would make a silly mistake that they wouldn’t normally do, Cata and Sandra would let shots in that they could’ve easily stopped. There was only one person who wouldn’t go easy on me, Alexia.

I was fed up with it, after walking into the locker with Ale, laughing about something stupid Alba said, I noticed everyone stopping what they were doing and looking at us. Shock and confusion on their faces, over the period of months they had known me, I didn’t laugh much, not outwardly happy, so this was new for them.

“Can you all please stop acting like I’m made of glass? I see it. I see what you’re doing and while I appreciate the concern, I need you all to stop.”

“Milly-“ Keira started

“No Keira. I get it okay, I went MIA for three years and came back different, I get it, but I need you all to treat me like I’m normal, not some broken person who will break if you say the wrong thing.”

A murmur of sorrys went through the room, I missed the way Alexia looked at me, eyes full of admiration and love, but Mapi didn’t miss it. The weeks that followed were good, we won against Athleti Madrid, Villareal and UDG Tenerife, our next upcoming game was against Real Madrid, the El Classico. I was incredibly excited.

The Friday before El Classico, Jona pulled me into his office.

“Hi Amelia, how are you feeling?” He was calm, almost too calm.

“I’m good. Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?” panic was arising within me. Was everything about to end before it truly started?

“Oh no! On the contrary. I want you to start tomorrow if you are feeling ok with that? I don’t want to push you into something that you aren’t ready to do.”

“Yes, god yes! Thank you Jona!”

Exiting his office I felt giddy, like a kid on Christmas eve. This was my Christmas eve, I couldn’t contain my excitement when I went into the locker room, it was mainly empty expect for Pina and Kei.

“I’M STARTING TOMORROW BITCHES!” I screamed, scaring the two girls.

“Oh my god! Milly! I am so so proud of you! Come here!” Kei pulled me into a bone crushing hug, Claudia jumping on the both of us shortly after. Unbeknownst to you, Alexia was in the bathroom, hearing everything that was spoken about. She was so incredibly proud, she wanted to come out and congratulate you herself but felt it was better to hide and let you have your moment.

Real Madrid and Barcelona were huge rivals. This game was the game of all games. Id watched it numerous times, either on the TV when I was in my hermit era or live with Eli and Alba, even dragging Emily over a couple of times. To be able to play in it, it was indescribable.  

No one in the locker room seemed nervous, well no one expect me. Jona came in and gave his last speech, followed by Alexia and Irene. Slowly the subs lefts, then the starting 11. Even in the tunnel it was loud, almost overwhelming loud, I couldn’t hear my heartbeat, or what the girls were saying around me. It was all very overwhelming. Alexia noticed, pulling me to the side, her hands cradling my face.

“you’re okay mil. You deserve to be here. You’re the best, show them that.” After kissing my forehead, she was back at the start of the line. She was right, as always, I was okay, and I deserved to be there.

The start of the game was a little shaky, having to adjust quickly to cancelling the noise of the crowd out to be able to hear my teammates and the refs whistle. The first goal came easily, a break in the defence meant I was able to run through after receiving a perfect ball from Alexia. Misa didn’t stand a chance, 1-0. Scoring in front of 90,000 people is something I’ll never get used to.

Goal after goal was scored, by half time it was 5-0. Alexia with two goals and 2 assists, me with 2 goals and 1 assist, Caro scoring the other goal. I felt bad for Misa, she was a great person and a great goalie, her team was just shit. She wouldn’t leave though, she’s too loyal, much like alexia in that respect.

By the end of the game it was 9-0, alexia and myself with a hattrick, Caro with 2 and Vicky with 1. Misa was crying by the end of it, by passing everyone else I went to her. Engulfing her in a hug, I let her cry. Her frustrations were justified, and she deserved to let them out. After a while, she pulled back.

“I am so glad youre back, but im even more glad it took so long to have to play you.” I laughed, I always tried to visit Misa when I could, even making Alexia come with me, not that she hated it.

“I missed you too Misa.”

“you coming out tonight? Please say yes. You owe me a drink or three!”

“Fine you convinced me! I’ll see you later M” I trottered off to say good game to the rest of Real. As I was finishing up with Hayley Raso, a body jumped on my back, and then another one. Claud and Patri were yelling out ‘MVP’ and sent us tumbling to the ground. All three of us laughing as each other.

During our usual walk around to thank the fans, Alexia dragged me towards her mum and sister. 

“Mija! There you are. My god I’m so proud of you!” Eli pulled me into a bone crushing hug, leaving kisses all over my cheeks. Alba quickly joined in. Alexia had walked off to say hi to Olga and some other friends. 

“”You’re coming out right? Please say you are.” Alba asked. 

“Alba-“

“I am yes.” She squealed, pulling me into another hug. 

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to mil. It’s not a problem.” Alexia didn’t want to push. It had been a big afternoon already and she would’ve completely understood if I didn’t want too. 

“No it’s fine. I promise. I want to go.” Quickly reassuring the captain that it truly wasn’t a problem. There was a look in her eye, something I couldn’t place. It wasn’t happiness, or sadness, maybe guilt? 

Quickly hugging Olga and Vir, before being pulled back away by Alba, she wanted to talk about outfits for tonight, she had decided to come to my house and get ready, to make sure I didn’t ’run away’, that comment got her a slap on the head from Ale and Eli. 

After slowly making it back to the locker room, the cheers could be heard from the tunnel. Everyone was singing and dancing, some wet from their shower or still in their kits. Deciding to ignore the partying for the mean time and opting for a shower in peace was the smartest decision I’d made. After I was finished I quietly and carefully slipped out of the locker room, wanting to go home and relax for an hour before Alba turned up. 

unintentionally, I fell asleep on the couch as soon as I got home, waking up to multiple loud knocks on the door. Alba was standing there, looking panicked. 

“Jesus Christ I thought you were fucking dead.” She lets out an annoyed sigh 

“Sorry I fell asleep.” 

“You’re not bailing. I don’t care if I have to drag you out.” 

“Relax. I’m still coming.” 

after 2 hours, many shots, and 3 extra bodies, we were all ready to go. The Uber to the club was fairly quick, Lucy and Misa were arguing over something stupid, Keira and Ona laughing at them and Alba holding my hand. The club was loud and full when we got there. Everyone holding hands to make it to the booth where the rest of the team were sitting. 

“Wow you finally showed up!” Mapi yelled, getting everyone’s attention. Alba came back shortly after with Misa, both carrying trays of shots. 

after lots of drinks, most of us were drunk. Half the group staying in the booth and half of us on the dance floor. Dancing in the middle of Alba and Misa, grinding on both in a purely platonic way, I felt eyes burning into my skull. Manoeuvring to see who it was, was quite the challenge, but it did. Confusion struck me. Anger, frustration, jealousy, rippled her face. With a huff, she got up and walked away. 

Why was Alexia so mad at me? What did I do? 

[queers-gambit]

Mother Knows No Bounds

prompt: you are Rhaenyra's daughter, married to Prince Aemond, and the subject of Alicent's hatred. one day, she takes it too far.

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x female!reader -> technically Velaryon!wife!reader, but you can pick and choose

fandom masterlist: House of the Dragon

word count: 5.7k+

note: 10,000 points to your Hogwarts House if you can find the Lord of the Rings quote

warnings: cursing, vilified!Alicent, Aemond needs his big brother. descriptions of potentially triggering content: miscarriages, natural abortions, toxic family being toxic; um is this technically neglect? abuse? potentially triggering description of medical phenomenons, i guess OC Aemond ?

please note again and do not proceed if you are triggered by any of the following content: descriptions of potentially triggering content: miscarriages, natural abortions, involuntary termination, depiction of medical procedure.

you are not missing anything by skipping this, please value your comfort!

The city had come to a screeching halt the moment extreme temperatures skyrocketed, citizens unable to bear the scorching sun during waking, working hours. It was only the brave, stupid, poor, or accommodated persons that dared venture about their lives when the heat index had tripled; silent, since the heat was so sweltering, nobody wanted to add to it by talking. Even the animals were quiet and scarce around the streets, most seeking shelter under any shade they could find.

Women skinny dipped. Children ran around without their clothes. Men forewent any and all armor, most even going shirtless.

The guards were on short patrols and constantly rotated to try and save them from heatstroke. The fishermen all left port to spend time on the water since it was cooler than being on land. Whores wore less than ever before. Vendors constructed makeshift fans for their own air current.

The temperature spike was truly murderous. At dusk, gravediggers traveled the city with a bell and horse-toted cart, announcing if anyone wanted their dead disposed of, now was the time. The heat caused any elderly to dehydrate, their hearts simply stopping; and for young children to overheat and catch too-high fevers.

It was a dreadful time to be alive in King's Landing because the city had next to no coverage, so, the sun beat down on citizens in a suffocating, unbearable, offensive manner. None stood a chance: the young, old, rich, poor, everyone was a target.

For some reason, the fat Lords of the Realm had demanded the King hold court to voice their complaints; temperatures making many operate on short fuses. However, due to his sickly, deteriorating state and wicked weather, King Viserys was unable to sit the Throne; the responsibility falling onto the Hand of the King, Otto Hightower. And because she was Queen, his daughter, Alicent was always in attendance.

Yet for some reason, she had sent guards and servants to retrieve her children - including you.

You'd been married to Aemond about 21 months, and while a seemingly short time, certain single days felt more like three when loved by a man you considered your best friend. You had known the One Eyed Prince back when he had no need for an eyepatch, sapphire, or silly nickname, and for years, you were decent friends before growing to attach at the hip. He was kind, sweet, intelligent, and best of all, he was a wildly good listener. Even as a child, he didn't talk too much, but still more than he did now; and all his life, he was simply a listener. It made for a peaceful and trustworthy marriage.

21 months of marriage, and now, (almost) 7 months pregnant.

Aemond was over the moon with pride, joy, and excitement when you told him the news. He was eager to meet the babe, and the moment he learned, Aemond started gathering whatever material and furniture he could. He commissioned 11 Septas to knit a series of baby blankets; most with Targaryen colors and / or design. Otto was happy to see his grandson looking forward to married life, and Helaena was elated for you both. She's always liked you like a sister, always thought you were kind, just, and fair, with a healthy balance of being stubborn - all topped off with heaping loyalty. To everyone's surprise, even Aegon sincerely offered congratulations to you both when you broke the joyful news, telling you and Aemond he was excited to meet his newest niece or nephew.

However, amongst the fanfare and triumph, two women remained permanently dismayed by the entire marriage that the prospect of a child genuinely angered them.

The first woman was your mother, Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen, but she was annoyed simply because she knew the Targaryen Curse was real and thought this was not something you should endure. You were her firstborn, her brightest star, her dearest love; she worried herself to the brim about you, and while she respected your marriage, she's never offered approval.

The second woman was Aemond's mother, Queen Alicent Hightower, who chose to silently seeth to herself (for a time) instead of voicing any opinion or emotion. Years ago, she and your mother were the closest of friends, and after she married Viserys, Alicent lost her friend and the tension has only festered from there. However, now that Rhaenyra was living on Dragonstone, you were the only person close enough to take the brunt end of Alicent's anger and she found new ways to project that. Simply put, she despised you - but she would've hated whoever "took" her (unofficial) favorite child "from" her; who became the leading lady in his life. Alicent's anger was justified, but only towards Rhaenyra - not you.

Yet communication and emotional intelligence was rare in this day.

Alicent knew you were innocent of everything. Yet somedays, she could not restrain her anger and would lash out like a dog chained-up; but you had thick skin. You always endured her quick jabs, sharp tongue, and snarling insults because you loved and respected Aemond too much to bite back at his mother. However, while most days, Alicent was amicable, some days, she was a downright bitch, and other days, she was absolutely diabolical.

Alicent's anger took over and when this happened, she was powerless towards impulse; resulting in usually terribly stressful events that honestly have no business being so fucking stressful - or even further, by becoming catastrophic. For example, years ago, when Luke cut Aemond's eye from his socket, she took the King's dagger from his person and tried to attack Rhaenyra. She ended up slicing the Crowned Princess' forearm, but far more damage was already done, and nothing would ever be the same.

Alicent's anger often blinded her and drove her to impulsive decisions or reactions, and this today, in this heatwave, she went too far.

You were sat in your bedchambers, Aemond at your side as you both listened to a sweating Grand Maester; both your hand and your husband's resting on the curve of your pregnant belly.

"Now, remember, Princess, in these conditions, it's important to lay low for the sake of your health and the baby's. Don't be on your feet in the heat too long, don't exert yourself, drink more water than you usually would, and rest as much as possible." He handed you a tea bag, explaining, "For the nerves before bed."

"Thank you," you agreed, taking what he offered. Aemond saw the Grand Maester out of your chambers as you sighed, using a handheld fan to wave cooler air over your face.

"It's criminal, this heat. Gotta get someone in here with a fan," Aemond mumbled to himself, leading you to a lounge chair to rest on. "Can I get you anything, sweet love?"

"Water, if you'd please," you smiled.

He agreed and stood, but just then, a knock sounded at the door. "Come in," Aemond permitted, moving to the table in the room to pour you a goblet of water. The guard who entered wasn't known to you by name, but Aemond greeted him casually, "Ser Mythos. What do we own this pleasure?"

"The Queen's requested you both in the Throne Room, my Prince."

"Do you know why?" Aemond grit.

"The Queen's requested you both in the Throne Room, my Prince."

"I've asked you why."

"The Queen's requested you both in the Throne Room, my Prince."

"Fuck's sake," you snapped, "we heard you! Yeah? Gods," you cursed, head tilted back in annoyance; eyes squeezing shut as your child kicked your bladder.

"The Queen has requested you both in the Throne Room, my Lady and my Prince."

Aemond glanced at you, sighed shortly through his nose, then turned to Ser Mythos to snap, "I will be along shortly, but my wife was told to rest in this heat for our baby's health. We'll need palms brought in for fanning."

"And the Queen has requested you both in the Throne Room, my Prince, both of you. Both, my Prince, both."

Your eyes rolled, telling Aemond, "I think the Queen wants us both, my love." Then shifted your glare towards the messenger, sounding as tired as you looked, "All right, fine, fine, fine, fucking fine, give us a moment to dress and we will be there presently."

"My Lady," the guard accepted, turned, and left the room.

"What could Mother want with us both?" Aemond snipped at you when the door shut with an echoing-clang.

"Does it matter? She's called for us," you frowned.

"They can at least call you by your proper title - we are married now. You are a Princess of the City, they should address you as such."

You waved him off, "Who cares about that? C'mere. Help me up, my love, please. Your kid's sitting heavy."

You and Aemond dressed for court in thin clothing before fixing your hair so it didn't cling to either of your necks. It was already far too warm to even think properly, and surely, nobody would judge if you attended court with your hair pulled up, nor judge Aemond for the fashionably bun you convinced him to wear. No make-up was used, no heels; no corset, nor any pinch of leather. Aemond didn't like the last bit, but you were stern in your worry, telling him that leather would retain his body heat and today was already stifling enough.

When ready, you vacated your chambers and walked to the Throne Room, seeing it filled with a sizable crowd that surely would do nothing to help the sticky heat hanging in the air. Aemond held your hand tightly with his head held high to lead you towards his mother, who stood at the base of the Iron Throne. When close enough, Aemond asked, "You called for us, Your Grace?"

"I did," she eyed you both. "This is a good learning opportunity for you both, I thought it best we were all here."

"Mother, it's too hot for - "

"We are all suffering the same heat," she cut Aemond off.

"Yes, but my wife is pregnant, Mother. The Maester told her to rest, not stand in court with a hundred bloody people."

"You mean to tell me she has a higher priority than - "

"Yes. That is what I am saying, Mother. My wife certainly has priority over everything else as far as I am concerned."

Alicent shook her head, "For as long as we hold places in court, we will attend court. All of us, as a united family. Now, pay attention, you both will hold places here after King Viserys, best you know this all now."

So, you stood there like an obedient dog as slowly, one person after another approached the Throne to tell Ser Otto Hightower their grievances. They yapped up all the advice and court rulings; Aemond standing at your side, and while he was listening to what was being said, he also kept an eye on you out of sheer worry. There was no air to blow, no window to open; mediocre fans and palms brought in to manually wave by a few sets of servants. Yet it wasn't enough.

Sweat bulleted on brows. Pale cheeks flushed with heat. Legs started to shake from stress. Clothes dampened and clung to skin.

You were all of the above and then some!

The heat felt criminally offensive, and you knew you wore your displeasure on your face. Discomfort while pregnant isn't easy to hide, your hand smoothing over your belly as you exhaled a slow, calming breath that did literally nothing to aid your tangible anger. The common folk still reported to Otto, but you knew this was far from over, trying to blink back your discomfort as your stomach churned; twisted; started to cramp with increasingly stabbing pain. The heat festered a headache and soon, the nausea set in.

Taking another deep, long breath, you focused on the man complaining about his neighbor stealing his crops, his silver, and how the other man was fucking his wife - in his very own barn! The man asked for permission to sentence the neighbor to trial by combat, and for the life of you, you could not understand why you needed to be present for this.

Another farmer came up, saying there were too many maggots in his fields and needed the King's coin to bring in specialized mulch for himself and all the farmers in all of the Riverlands - who were plagued by this contagious maggot infestation.

Some Lord of Some Lineage From Some Castle of Some Place came up and asked for an increased patrol of "the King's Men", sell swords sent to "keep the King's peace." A group with radically different tactics than Daemon's Gold Cloaks.

This "Some Lord of Some Lineage From Some Castle of Some Place" even presented his daughter, saying she was fit to marry the Prince Aemond. Eyes turned to you and for whatever reason, you felt embarrassed by the sudden attention. So, you shied away from it, shifting slightly closer to Aemond as Otto spoke with a bored expression, "Prince Aemond is wedded already. As is his brother, Prince Aegon."

"What 'bout the li'l one?"

"Pardon?" Otto blinked.

"The Queen's last son?"

"With respect, my Lord, our son is still a child learning the ways of the world and is no way fit to marry quite yet," Alicent cut in, your feet going numb and making you sway slightly. "The Crown has learned from other marriage pacts to examine all offers carefully," but Alicent's sharp words flew over your head as something in your stomach pinched sharply like a severe period cramp. Your breathing came out in shudders; holding onto Aemond securely as he looked down at you with worry.

Your entire face, neck, and chest glistened with sweat. It clung to your hair, raced down your chest, and when he got a closer look, he didn't like the discoloration to your skin. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong...

"Then it shall be a long engagement so you might consider my daughter well!" The Lord barked, laughing gruffly. "She is not a disappointment, my Lord Hand."

"The Crown will consider your offer, Lord Peregrin, but the Crown must weigh other presented offers before marrying young Prince Daeron to anyone," Otto spoke diplomatically.

"Aye, I'll offer her dowry. Twenty thousand good men for your army, and I can spare about 500 Gold Dragons."

"Our army? Are we at war?" Otto faked a chuckle, your vision starting to blur but you refused to cause a scene. Your mouth had cotton in it; tongue sticking to your roof and your cramps were getting worse. You sweat so much, it was running down your neck, forehead, shoulders, lips, thighs, chest.

"Well, no, perhaps not in this moment, Lord Hand - Your Grace - but we know the rumors about the King's lineage," the Lord spoke boldly, making your blood boil, but the pain was over-powering your ability to speak. Tears actually coated your eyes. "Prince Aegon should be named the rightful heir to the Throne, so, if the time comes that he needs an army, my daughter's marriage to Prince Daeron would guarantee those men and swords."

Otto sighed as you gulped harshly, wincing in pain, a single tear rolling down your cheek. The cramping intensified, the bolts of pain setting your muscles on fire and radiating into your organs - or so it felt like. The Throne Room was too hot for you to withstand much longer; there was no water, and you'd been standing there going on three hours. Not to mention, you had been throwing up terribly violent in the night and mornings, meaning, you were probably (very likely) very dehydrated and that wasn't good for you nor the baby.

The longer you stood there, the sicker you felt. The longer you stood there, the more Aemond worried. The longer you stood there, the more time you had to develop a strong resentment towards Alicent. Your hand went to your belly, trying to regulate your breathing, but even your dress gave you away - sweat darkening the hemlines. Since finding out you were pregnant, you and Aemond agreed you would no longer wear corsets, and for a whole weekend, he took you to Highgarden to visit the tailors. They created a whole new "maternity wardrobe" that was loose but still womanly by being formfitting. They were made of breathable material, since Highgarden was tropical and often warm; and Aemond adored the sight of your bump.

"Aemond," you whispered, your husband looking down at you but so did Alicent. "I'm not feeling well, my love. I-I need to sit, I need water."

"We're almost done - "

"This is not the time to distract everyone," Alicent snapped quietly at you. "Focus, and let Aemond focus, too, he's the Prince. You don't need him for your every whim."

You only nodded and closed your mouth, clearing your throat of emotion, knowing something didn't wasn't right. It was more than a gut feeling now, you just inherently knew something was wrong. Disconnected. Short circuiting.

The hall was too hot.

Stifling hot. Suffocatingly hot. Stuffy sort of hot.

Overwhelmingly hot.

Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, so fucking hot!

Your nausea got worse to the point you were going to hurl at any moment. You know that feeling? C'mon, yes you do! You start to feel a little shaky, then your mouth starts "sweating" (or watering) and you even get a little clammy; maybe you even start to look gaunt? Maybe your skin changes color? That feeling? Yeah, that's exactly what was happening!

So, to keep calm, you just start taking long, deep breaths. The last thing you wanted to do was panic when surrounded by so many members of court... Then something that felt like urine raced down your inner thighs, yet you barely noticed it, too distracted with keeping upright. Blood puddled beneath your skirts on the stone but nobody noticed yet. More Lords came and went, some Ladies, more and more farmers with trivial disputes. Fathers, sons, uncles, neighbors, you name it!

However, to your earnest shock, when a particularly amusing man came to speak to the King('s Hand), Aegon had glanced at his brother with an amused smirk, but caught sight of you, requiring a double-take. "Brother," Aegon turned from his 'front row seat', showing a rare moment of emotion by looking concerned at your being. "Oh, Gods, fuck," he worried, looking ready to extend his arms to you.

"Fuck," Aemond breathed, turning you to face him. "Can you hear me, sweet love? Hey, hey," he spoke your name, "can you hear me?"

But it was as if you were in a trance. Waves crushed over your ears, sweat rolling down your skin, appearing clammy and as if not in your own body. Aegon jolted forward when your eyes rolled back in your head, knees buckling, forcing your husband to catch you before you began your descent to the ground. When he caught you, it revealed the blood from under your skirts, and when Aemond got you on the ground, he realized your legs were coated in slick, mucus, and both dried and fresh blood; indicating you had been bleeding for hours.

"Call the Maester!" Aemond barked. "Get the bloody Maester!"

"She's bleeding," Aegon pointed out.

"I have eyes to see, brother, I know she is bleeding!" Aemond snapped, his panic tangible. "Love! My sweet love, please, open your eyes, please. Fuck's sake, please, open your eyes - let me see them. Sweetheart, please, c'mon - FUCK! Brother! Brother, help, please, there's blood! There's too much blood! Aegon! What do I do!? Aegon, please! What do I do!?"

"Let her breathe, brother, the Maester's are coming, it's gonna be all right, I-I've heard this can happen. Okay? Just gotta wait for the Maesters, Aemond," Aegon nodded, reaching a hand to his younger brother's shoulder in comfort. Otto descended the Throne to get a closer look as guards surrounded your unconscious body and Aemond's panicked, kneeling form.

"What happened?" Otto demanded.

"She passed out," Helaena frowned in worry, looking as if tears would soon fall. "And there's blood - she's been swaying, I-I think she was ill."

"It's the heat," Aemond snapped, tears down his cheeks. "We were told she needed rest in this temperature, but no." His glare turned to his mother, "We were both expected here."

"You saw the Grand Maester?"

"We did."

"He told her to lie down?" Otto asked, looking and sounding confused.

"To rest," Aemond nodded, supporting your limp head and neck.

When the Grand Maester arrived, he wasted no time in demanding your limp form be brought to his chambers for monitoring and examination. Aemond picked you up and carried you, leaving everyone else behind - or so he thought. The Maester spent a grand total of 43 minutes conducting diagnostic tests, and when the last exam was brought up, he asked Aemond to step out of the room as the examination would turn more intimate.

When Aemond stepped out, he was surprised to see Aegon and Helaena standing there. Aegon instantly pushed off the wall, asking, "Well? How is she? What's happening?"

"One last test," Aemond answered in a low mutter. "What're you doing here?"

"We wanted to make sure you were both all right," Helaena, his sweet sister, answered.

"Mother didn't demand you stay?"

"No, Mother actually called an end to court," Helaena told Aemond. "Grandfather was very angry."

"He was?"

"Never seen him like that," Aegon agreed, telling Aemond of the words Otto raged at Alicent.

When the chamber doors opened, Aemond was invited back inside. He took to your side instantly, but there was a knowing look in your eyes. You never looked at the Maester, only at your husband, as it was explained that due to the heat, you had become dehydrated over time and then spending the day in court, it was just too long a time being on your feet without water or fresh air. You had toppled over the side of heat stroke, the lack of hydration causing you to involuntarily miscarry.

The child would not grow and for your safety and health, the Maester would have to preform essentially what is an abortion to eliminate exposure to rot. Aemond blinked in astonishment, feeling confused about the turn of events, but when he realized you weren't able to respond, he looked at you.

He made the decision, seeing tears streaking your cheeks and the dead look in your eyes.

You were prepped for the procedure and while the Master tried to escort Aemond out, nobody was able to move him from his place at your side. It took the better part of an hour, but when it was over, not only were you given an additional dose of Milk of the Poppy, but Aemond was also given several vials for you in the coming days. He was also given a plethora of herbs, spices, remedies, salves, therapies, and treatments; being given explicit instruction and detail about all he was given, being told when to use what to best help you.

Aemond stooped to pick you up, again, refusing to let anyone else touch you, and the Grand Maester held the door for him. Aegon, Helaena, Alicent, and Otto were all revealed, but Aemond didn't even so much as blink at them; whatever life might've been left lurking behind his eye being completely snuffed out. He made a direct beeline for your chambers with the intention to let you rest in a soft, familiar bed for however long you needed, but he was followed by his family and knew this would be anything but a peaceful time.

"L-Love?" You whimpered when your husband laid you on your marital bed. "Aemond? Aemond?" You asked a little more frantically, being soothed swiftly.

"I'm here, I'm right here, sweetheart," he hushed, ignoring the audience; one hand holding yours as the other pet your hair back. "Hey, just breathe for me, darling, I'm right here. I've got you."

"I-I might be sick," you complained in a whisper, eyes unable to open as sweat bulleted on your skin.

"'S all right," he assured, grabbing a basin to leave on the bed beside you so he could sit at your side. "'M right here, you're not alone."

Aemond watched the way you harshly gulped, a hand dragging up to press to your belly. "W-What happened?" You mumbled, making his heart clench. "I just... There was a lot of heat and then pain." Your eyes finally opened to meet his, "I remember pain, Aemond."

With a glance up at his family, Aemond told you stiffly, "You remember correctly, love. The, uh... The heat was too much for you to handle, sweet girl, and that wasn't your fault." He took a long breath, clutching one of your hands in both of his, "But it was just too much. We couldn't save them... We couldn't save her."

"I-It was a girl?"

"It was," Aemond confirmed, reaching for your other hand to hold tightly. "And you didn't do this. Hmm? You hear me? This is not your doing."

"But my body - "

"No," he refused with a harsh tone. Realizing you were not the one to take his anger out on, he cleared his throat, "Sorry, love, I just," he took a breath. "Listen to me, okay? No, my sweet love, we were told to rest - you and I were told this heat was too much for the babe and that you would need rest. We meant to, we had every intention to follow the Maester's orders, but..." Another pause as he fought off the emotion clawing through his chest. "But for some reason, royal obligation was more important than our family, and Mother refused to let us miss today's court appearance."

"Huh...?" You breathed, still relatively drowsy from the day. But the emotion was real, your husband saw your pain. "What're you talking about, love? Aemond? What's - What the hell happened to our baby? Where's our baby?"

Aemond's jaw steeled and a tear streaked down his cheek as he forced himself to explain, "The Queen demanded our attendance in court today. And standing in the heat for hours cost us our daughter's life. I am so sorry, my sweet love, but we do not have our daughter because she is... She isn't in your womb anymore," his hand laid over your belly, your own automatically following. "She can't ever join us, our family," he spoke slowly, then tearing his glare away from your tired figure to his mother, sneering, "because my mother can't let go of a decades-old feud with a woman no longer living in this very city."

"Aemond," you whispered, heart shattered in your chest but still managing, "do not take this out on her."

"No?" He snapped, still glaring at his mother but clutching your belly, "If not for her, our daughter would still be safe in her mother's womb and we'd still have the chance to one day hold her. But no," he spoke as slowly as he stood to his feet, pulling his hands away from you, "no, we were unjustly denied that chance."

When her (favorite) child faced her with such hatred, dread, distraught, soul-sucking eyes, Alicent frowned with tears in her own eyes. She had so much to say, but only managed, "I did not intend for this."

"This hatred you feel for Rhaenyra is literally costing lives! For the love of all the Gods, my wife is nothing like her mother! They are not one in-the-same, this does not make her your new target to unleash Hell upon - she has done no wrong and yet suffers these heinous consequences!"

"I did not intend for this! You must know that!" She repeated in desperation. "I only wanted you both to partake in your duties - soon, you will be the ones conducting business at court and you must be readied for what may come!"

"That does not give you the right to forfeit her health!"

"How was I to know - "

"The bloody Maester told us - but evidently, the word of the trained professional is not good enough for you!" Aemond raged, something in his heart snapping. "We are denied the right to meet our daughter because, what? What is it? You cannot reach Rhaenyra right now so you will take the closest thing - being my fucking wife!?"

"Aemond," Otto tried to step in, "perhaps this is getting out of hand."

"It was already out of hand," Aegon defended with a sharp snap, "the moment the Maester was ignored."

"You refuse to respect us," Aemond snapped at his mother, everyone silencing themselves when another tear fell down his cheek. "You refuse to respect us, to listen, and all for why? You think you know better than the Maesters? Or because she is daughter of Rhaenyra?"

"Aemond," Alicent warbled through her tears.

"You've gone too far," his head shook, devastation taking hold, "and I do hope you find deliverance from the Gods, because from me? I do not see how I can find a shred of ability to forgive such a sin."

It was quiet. Helaena's head was bowed, Aegon glared at his mother like Aemond; Otto frowned as he avoided all eye contact.

Imagine everyone's surprise when bare feet padded over the stone ground, two shaking hands raising to press into Aemond's stomach from behind. "My love," you mumbled softly, "please, do not speak so hatefully in this prolonged grief. We will do all we can do now and pray on this, but if we want to heal, we will need to learn to forgive. This was not a malicious, thought-out plan executed in partner with the co-conspiring weather; it was a terrible circumstance that the Gods have chosen us to endure. Your mother can pray for forgiveness, she's owed that right; and we will say our own, but I know that one day, we will be blessed and bring a child into this world. Because it's you and I, Aemond, and our child would be the full embodiment of the purest, truest love - and for something that perfect, we'll need time." You took a breath, looking sickly, gaunt; eyes full of tears as you ended, "But it is not this day."

Aemond turned to wrap his arms around you, insisting, "You should be resting." When he got you to turn to move for the bed again, he snarled at his mother, "She's the one who just lost a child and yet still defends you."

"Perhaps it's best we leave them alone," Aegon recommended. "We'll have meals sent for you both," he told his brother with a meaningful nod. "You both just take your time."

"Thank you," Aemond sighed, easing you back to the mattress; laying a single, thin sheet over your body. When Aegon had ushered everyone out, Aemond just stared down at you for a long moment, sighing sadly and whispering, "I'm so sorry, sweet love."

"Just lay with me," you requested.

He moved to strip himself of his linens, the heat still sweltering, and laid beside you; instantly cuddling you into his bare chest. Aemond knew you didn't want to talk, but this needed said, and he whimpered, "This is my fault."

"What?" You gaped, looking up at him in shock. You quickly pulled his leather eye patch off to force his full attention, holding his cheek and demanding, "What did you just say?"

"If you and I did not marry, if I had not pursued you - courted you," he shook his head, brows crinkled from restrained sobs, "we would not be in this position, you would not know this pain. We knew the tension in our family, we knew the hatred between our mothers, and still I wanted you. This is my fault, I shouldn't've done this - you should not have to endure this."

Your hand reached up to caress the side of his face; foreheads pressed together to breathe the same air, warm the same space, sweat onto one another, but never wanting to be apart. It was a sticky embrace but you both needed it, and you hushed, "I regret nothing about us. Nothing, Aemond. If I knew how this would play out, I'd do it all again because I know I love you beyond words. Beyond," you giggled lightly, "rational thought, even. Aemond, everything you are, I adore, and all we are together is... It's the greatest pleasure of my life. My greatest honor."

"I do not deserve a woman like you."

"Perhaps not," you teased, "but you have me anyway. And what do we do with rare women, my Prince?"

His lips found yours in a sweeping kiss that stole the breath from your lungs. When he pulled back, he whispered, "We love them well."

A week later, King's Landing would find relief from the unwavering, record-breaking heatwave - only to be blasted by a wave of dragon fire. It was only then the Prince Aemond was seen with his wife for the first time since "The Throne Room Incident", and both were dressed in the traditional color of funerals: black.

You were bestowed an incredibly small bundle of black cloth, and with the rest of the Royal Family following, ventured to a distant hill where a funeral was to take place. Because your daughter was still so very tiny, she was laid in a fiery basin with only you and Aemond to preside over; offering prayer in High Valyrian. He held you close, the wind from the coast whipping all clothing around, and just behind everyone, Vhagar landed with a distinct thundering thud.

You didn't move, staring into the flames.

Aemond looked back, and when Vhagar saw the tears in her master's eye, noting the way he turned back to comfort you and grieve over your daughter, the dragon roared. A roar so loud, it was heard from the Riverlands. A roar so powerful, it shook the ground they all stood on. A roar so terrible, it made a few throats swell in emotion. A roar so sad, ballads would be written about it.

King's Landing might've been relieved from the weather's temperature, but as Vhagar felt her master mourning his daughter, she released an angry flame into the air that the citizens all felt.

For years, on the contrary, the entire city would feel Prince Aemond's cold shoulder to his mother, Queen Alicent, but for now, the heat of grief demanded to be felt.

requesting rules and masterlist

HOTD masterlist

[gguk-n]

Can you please write enemies to lovers with Lando where they have their first kiss accidentally using the following prompt :

"Is this some kind of game to you?" She asked, anger in his words. "Are my feelings nothing but a silly little game to you?" He shook his head, the sensation of her lips on his still lingering on his skin. "Never," he told her. "I've been wanting to do that since we first met."

Pit Lane Rivals to Race Partners (Lando Norris x Engineer!Reader)

{Reader's POV}

I knew what I was getting into when I signed the contract with Mclaren as their engineer. Since I had freshly graduated with very little experience I was mostly going to be assisting the other engineers and learning from them. I had been in love with cars since I was little. I remember taking apart the toy cars and trying to put them back together only to be scolded by my mother since my siblings were crying because I broke their toys. Seeing how destructive I had gotten even for a 4 year old, my dad decided I needed to release my energy else where and took me karting. It was the most exciting and the best thing I had ever done. Learning how the machine worked and how to control it as I grew older was my biggest passion in life.

That was what led me to karting races. I was an aggressive driver and anyone who got in my way would feel my wrath. I made sure not to cause a lot of physical or collateral damage. But I did cause one boy a lot of emotional damage. Both of us were fiercely competitive and neither of us liked to lose. Our races always ended with Lando behind me and he could never really take it. I had a good laugh but all of this turned sour when we had a huge fight after a race crash and he pined the entire blame on me when he too was trying to run me off the track. Both our dad's had to intervene and that's how I ended up hating Lando. But I was 11 years old. Right now, I'm older and more mature and I don't really hate anyone, it a strong word. I might dislike people but I don't hate anyone. And the incident with Lando is a funny memory at best.

Lando went up to become a Formula one driver while I had to cut my dreams short since there weren't a lot of opportunities for female racers. I instead took the more academic route and got my degree in automobile engineering and strived to become a race engineer or racing principle one day. So, when I was able to apply for Mclaren which was well on it's way to become the best car on the grid, I couldn't say no. I also thought about Lando, and how I expected to have a bit of a laugh with him about out 'karting rivalry' now that we were older. What I didn't expect was that the boy who's eyes I almost gauged out was still as petty as ever.

It was the first race of the season, in Bahrain and we had flown in a few days before the drivers to get everything set up. So on the day Lando came up to the garage, all the new recruits were introduced to the drivers. Oscar was a sweetheart and even offered us words of encouragement since we were on the same boat. Lando greeted everyone but me properly. He ignored my hand when I raised it up to shake his. I was shocked and my mouth was left hung open. If he wanted to be petty, I can be petty. I made sure to avoid him like the plague and the times we interacted were filled with sarcastic remarks.

Oscar and I had grown pretty close and shared a sibling dynamic. Whenever Lando saw us interacting he would have a scowl on his face. And then a couple months later, Oscar stopped talking to me other then exchanging a few pleasantries. It hurt a little when Oscar ignored me and walked away. I thought we were friends. I felt like I had lost another friend since I joined Mclaren. The first one being Lando, since I imagined that we would've been friends since we karted together but it turns out I was completely wrong. Honestly, he was my first crush too, so it hurt a little more.

Eventually, Lando had gotten a little bearable and he had stopped passing snarky remarks whenever I would suggest a strategy or an upgrade. Each snarky remark and not having a proper friend after losing Oscar too, was starting to get to me. After the DNF in Austria and how pissed Lando was, not many people were willing to confront him; me included. If he hated my guts on a regular day, he would tear me apart today, I thought.

At the end of the day, as were packing up, I ran into Lando. I decided to extend my condolences. "Hi Lando" I said as I almost bumped into his shoulder while stacking up the papers. He looked at me and just nodded, as if to acknowledge my presence. I decide to let it go, since it was bad day for him. "You did pretty well today" I said cautiously. He let out a forced laugh, "ha, you must be so happy. Watching me fall apart" he retorted. "What no?" I replied shocked. "You've always hated me, since we were kids. You left no stone unturned to make me feel like shit. You weren't even a good sport" He spat out. "Ok, Lando, I get it. You had a bad day, it was a bad day for us too. But that doesn't give you the right to say whatever you like." I replied trying to keep my breathing constant. "You were a spoilt sport and always got what you wanted. It must your life's joy watching me struggle" he seethed. "Listen here mister, don't you dare direct your anger towards the one person you see right now. Whatever happened was a race incident and you need to put your big boy pants on and deal with it. Stop being a spoilt brat and taking your anger out on others." I replied calmly. If that asshole said anything else, I was about to slap him. Lando stepped closer, trapping me in between the desk and him. "You think you are so mature and above everyone else don't you" he sneered. Okay, I've had it with him. He has made my life difficult since I set foot in Mclaren. Before I knew it, my hand touched his cheek with a harsh sound.

His eyes were wide open. Before I could say anything, I felt a pair of warm lips on mine. I quickly pushed him away. "Is this some kind of game to you?" I asked, anger in my words. "Are my feelings nothing but a silly little game to you?" He shook his head, the sensation of my lips on his still lingering on his skin. "Never," he told me. "I've been wanting to do that since we first met after so many years." It was my turn to laugh. "You don't say" I chided. "Believe me Y/N I really like you. And I'm sorry for the way I've behaved. I really needed that slap to set me straight" he said while massaging his cheek. "Don't fuck with me" I replied with tears in my eyes. "Then why did you Oscar stop talking to me?" I croaked. "I got jealous" he replied, head held in shame. "I'm sorry. It's just I couldn't stand you laughing at his jokes. I wish I was the one making you laugh." he mumbled. "I wanted us to be friends when I first came here, you were the one who pushed me away." I replied sternly. "I was a stupid kid and I didn't know how to react when I saw my childhood crush." he muttered. I was shocked.

"Give me one chance, I'll repent for my sins and wrong all my rights." he begged. Honestly I wanted to kiss Lando before he started being an ass to me when I first saw him after so many years; maybe I should let my intrusive thoughts win. I pressed my lips against him while my hands found his neck. For a moment, he was still, there was no movement and within seconds I felt his lips move and his hands find a place on my waist. After we pulled away, "I had a crush on you when we were kids too. But I wasn't an ass when we met after so many years." I remarked, "but I'll give you a chance, prove me that you've matured and maybe I'll start thinking about that crush I used to have on you." Lando smiled, "Okay, yes, I'll prove how much I like you" he said while almost hitting the chair on the way out. "Dinner date at 8, I'll pick you up, tomorrow" he called out as he ran off making me laugh.

[moonpascaltoo]

9TH, 10TH, & 11TH DOCTOR FIC RECS

╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all the doctor stories i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!)

MASTERLIST • 11/29/24

9TH DOCTOR

@lz-didyounotice ✰ it was quite a sunny day today

10TH DOCTOR

@magiccath ✰ psychic paper In which the psychic paper betrays the Doctor ✰ a very noble christmas In which Donna is really fed up with her love-sick best friends and calls in Wilf for backup ✰ distracted In which the Doctor can be very distracting

@simp-ly-writes ✰ for all time Many, Many worlds ago you were married to the Doctor. That was until a war tore your home planet and species apart and you were part of the lucky handful that managed to make your way out into the universe- alive. As you go through many regenerations of yourself, you run into the Master, an old friend of yours that you faintly remember. He tells you of the Doctor, warns you of your spouse and from then on, you are on a mission to never interact with him. Should be easy... right?

@gracesimp ✰ i just wanted to The Doctor is oblivious. Donna is not. ✰ soulmates it's rare, but sometimes in the universe, people meet their soulmate. Upon first touch with one's soulmate,a connection is formed. A physical and mental bond. What happens when the Doctor meets his soulmate? ✰ jealousy the doctor isn't too pleased with his companion's new friend. Donna gets inlvoved in some overdue matchmaking.

@imaginesfordifferentfandoms ✰ not leaving you

@nghtwngs ✰ silly human traditions you’ve never had a new year’s kiss before. neither has the doctor. you decide to change that tonight.

@raz-writes-the-thing ✰ devoid of attention The Doctor is oblivious as per usual

11TH DOCTOR

@arting-block ✰ the words i don’t mean After a stressful day, you overhear Amy arguing with the Doctor. When he realized you heard everything, he tries to set things right.

@the-fiction-witch ✰ illusion

@social-mockingbird ✰ dangerous habits

@cloginthedrain ✰ a day in reader reflects on her curiously romantic, unspoken relationship with the doctor. cuteness ensues.

@watchoutforthefanfics ✰ my john At the news of an unknown distress call from the Tardis, the Doctor must go undercover. With the trust of thousands of years, he places himself (both watch and being) into your hands. Enter Dr. John Smith (not really a medical doctor just has his doctorate) your new roommate.

@mystic-writings ✰ selfishly, i love you after two years of being burdened with love for the doctor, you make the choice to leave him behind. 

@holly-the-trash-writer ✰ safest place in the universe Y/n wakes up to find that the Doctor fell asleep on her. Which would be normal if Time Lords slept. Upon waking the Doctor explains just how much she means to him.

@11thsdoctress ✰ you’ve changed After an argument with The Doctor, and leaving the TARDIS, you went back to your semi-normal life, but due to some nightmares, and maybe fate, you never thought you would meet the same alien with a new face.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - it was a pretty darn good time, frankly

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - Everyone looked like they were having a lot of fun in the fight sequences. I’m very happy for them. I’m not surprised they shot Khem and Chart. A little shocked it wasn’t also Yai, TBH.

I found this final episode rushed. According to rumors, The Sign was originally slated to be 14 eps, and it probably should’ve been. And I don’t say that often about Thai BL. But we all knew it was getting too bloated for its britches, so I'm not surprised they fumbled the ending. For me personally, it just wasn't that bad. It was fine and I was fine with it.

Tho, Billy does not look good with facial fur, messes up those gorgeous angles.

I was ultimately amused that the solution to the mythology thread was simply to talk to the river god and persuaded him to give up... off screen. It felt very old school wuxia. Or like Aeschylus or something. I did adore the stinger, Saint was basically like “I want wings too”. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, PNR, fated mates, police procedural, fantasy, mystery, suspense, and slasher. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it. Was it a crazy unhinged mess +1 roll for damage? Yes. Yes it was. Did it manage to hold all those tangled threads together? No it did not. Was it also a charming, sexy, engaging, non-stop piece of entertainment? Sure thing. I think this show is basically my KinnPorsche, and frankly I’ve been chasing that dragon naga since KP aired. Is it perfect? No. But it was balls to the wall FUN and that gets a 9/10 from me.

I'm thinking of doing a full recap review (partly because I have so many great screen shots.)

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 10-11 of 12 - Since this series is following the yaoi so closely, I knew these were the separation eps. (Also I knew with would be a soft non-doom ep 11, Japan rarerly does these.) I like that they used it to show improve communication and development in all relationships, but, frankly, TayNew are just best when they are TayNew together on screen. So yeah. Let’s keep them back together, please?

Meanwhile, TayNew gifted us a gorgeous loving sweet sex scene. Thanks OG for doing us a solid. 

I wanna add, it sure is fun to see New play as soft and vulnerable character, I feel like he hasn’t done that since SOTUS. 

(Read all about distribution issues here.)

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 12fin - 1/3 of this is a sweet romance about a student doctor falling in love with a student chef, and the rest of it is utter dross. Look the OffGun bits were GREAT.. In fact, I think they’re better AS A PAIR in this show than in any of their other BLS. And I'm a hard sell on any OffGun being better than PickRome. Saying that, how can I review a show where I could only tolerate 1/3 of it? Because I didn’t like any other aspect of this show, no other pairs and no other plots. That gives me: 9/10 for the OffGun bits, 5/10 for everything else. Frankly it probably should be an 8 but I gotta go with my gut and it's upset about this so 7/10. Sorry boys. It’s GMMTV’s fault. Your heart was in this show, mine wasn’t. 

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - These two are so good at making heart eyes at each other. It’s ridiculous. They don’t need any cartoon images or noises. Moot crush but "I wanna flirt and court more" is so flipping awesome. I love this for them… and us. 

1000 Years Old ep 2 of 12 - It’s very silly and we have been gifted with the dorkiest vampire ever. But... the smell thing makes me so happy. And I like that the vamp uses chan/nai or tan = v old fashioned. Nahlak. I love our ghost girl. Did you notice she wasn’t in the room with them but they left an empty chair for her? Also nahlak.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - Kai was pretty much just “you're a workaholic but I basically married you whether you like it or not.” SMOOCH. What can I say? I'm a sucker for this dynamic.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - How is this show so cute? How do they both love and hurt each other so much. They are both just scared of loosing each other. Gah.

Unknown (Taiwan Sat Youku YouTube) 1 of 12 eps - Youku dropped the first ep to their YouTube channel but I doubt we can expect that to continue. Still, it was nice to be able to watch it in a convenient way. I enjoyed it. But I am cautious about it. Of course this is possibly two of my favorite tropes of all time (stepbrothers or a variation + hyung romance). So I’m looking forward to the romantic thread, but from the gritty style, it feels a lot more like a Taiwanese short. Which means it could go very dark and may not end happy. 

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I just don’t know if the main couple should be a couple. But when they finally get around to talking to each other, they sure are lovely. Also how great is it to see a uke initiate a kiss? Even if it’s not a very good kiss. 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - I am still not sure about this one. I am not contesting its quality, just saying it’s not for me. Also I’m not wild about what amounts to basically a redo of everything that already happened in the first episode from a different perspective. I know it’s a tall order with Japan, but I would like (when it’s a short series) for each new installment to actually move the plot (such as it is) along in someway. Am I asking too much?

It's done but I have no time

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.

It's airing but...

Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - rumors are it's interesting but full of unlikable characters. I'm waiting to know how it ends.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far. Ends next week TF.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - I tried but I can't get into my WeTV account anymore and I'm way too lazy to figure it out. Should I bother to go grey for it?

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand YT) - High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite when both of them have full time jobs but coming out is still a problem. You can watch this on YT but it has no Eng Subs.

Next Week Looks Like This:

We're light on content right now, but frankly I'm so busy with work I don't really mind.

3/6 Born to be Y (Thai ????) 10 eps - 14 contestants who audition to compete in Born To Be Y, a program that searches for the best couple of the year to work together on a giant project. Described as semi-reality series. So I probably won't bother.

3/7 Deep Night (Thai iQiyi) 10 eps - Multiple romances set in a host clubs. Nice to see First back on my screen but this is not my favorite setting.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The eyes have it.

Your random BL moment brought to you by my ult-bias being a hyung smartass to his maknae.

(Last week)

[argentiluver]

“Smile!" || Blade x G/N Child! Reader (PLATONIC) - Honkai: Star Rail

A/N: This is my first post, so if it's bad in any way; please tell me and feel free to give me some helpful tips! The reader is 11 in this as well which explains the childish behavior. I was at first going to make them 12-14 tbh, but I wanted them to seem more child-like.

"Uh…How about this one!”

You were desperately trying to get Blade to laugh at your jokes, which were genuinely terrible, just to see him smile, but it was to no avail as Blade only sat there with his face as flat as a board.

“Knock, Knock!” You began with a grin, leaning closer as you swung your legs back and forth in your seat.

“You said we were done with these ones…” Blade grumbled, his eye twitching at you.

“Just answer!”

Blade sighed before turning back to you tiredly, “Who’s there?” He answered exasperatedly.

“Interrupting ghost!”

“Interrupting ghost w—”

“BOO!” You suddenly cut him off with a playful grin, jumping on him, causing Blade to let out a startled grunt and swiftly catch you by your waist as you fell in his lap.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Blade's face was as still as a rock. It's like he was being held at a gunpoint to not smile at the joke you just told him, or even the other terrible ones.

"Are you done yet?" Blade asked in annoyance, his eyes percing into yours as he held the child's smaller figure in his grasp, your hands thrown over his neck.

But deep inside the swordsman, he loved all the child's foolish jokes, and he even saw them as his own little sibling. He'd just never admit it.

The 11 year old only groaned, frustrated with how he'd never laugh or even crack one, little smile at their jokes.

"Come on! Just give me one smile, Bladie!" You whined, tugging at his cheeks to widen his lips so it can look he's smiling, yet it just fell straight back into a frown, "Why are you so hard to crack?!"

"Because showing any emotions, similar to happiness, is weakness, Y/N." Blade answered simply, his voice deep and raspy as he lifted you off his lap with his eyes still stuck to yours blankly, "You'll understand that once you grow older."

Blade was a man of duty. Duty to his life, his work, his role, and many others. Showing emotions was a sign of weakness to him; an admission of defeat. But deep down, he felt things. Much of it. He just didn't allow himself to do so. So when you made him crack a smile with your silly jokes, he got frustrated at himself. For breaking his code, even just once.

"Uh-huh…Whatever you say, Edge-Lord…" You mumbled, your face forming into a deadpan as you turned to the side.

Your words however earned you a smack across the head from Blade, causing you yelp in surprise.

“I WAS JOKING!”

“Find better humor then.”

You only grumbled to yourself, slumping against the dark sofa you were sitting on before a smirk crossed your face, "Wait, so does that mean Kafka's weak? She always laughs at my jokes!" You retort with a cocky grin.

"Kafka isn’t laughing at your jokes, she’s laughing at you."

Blade's cold words earned a huff from you, offended by how harsh he had said it.

You and Blade had a somewhat sibling-like relationship which Kafka and Silverwolf relentlessly teased Blade about, yet he refused to admit he saw you as anything near a sibling or family member in that matter.

“Hmph! Fine! Don’t expect me to talk to you for the whole day then!” You pouted, pretending to be mad at him so he can finally give in and smile at you.

Yet all you got in response was silence as he continued to sit there, his arms folded and staring straight ahead with his eyes closed.

But, he was slightly amused with your words since he knew you can’t go one second without following him around like the curious and naive child you are, usually holding onto his bandaged hand half the time.

You stared in-front of you for awhile in silence before your eyes slowly began to droop tiredly and you turned back to Blade.

"Blade?" You called quietly after a moment of silence, earning a lazy "Hm?" in response, "Can I…Sleep in your lap…?” You trailed off, feeling ashamed for giving in so easily and acknowledging him even after you said you wouldn’t, “Please?”

It wasn’t really a surprise you were so tired…You did just come back from a mission with Kafka, you didn’t do much since your role in missions is just to be the lookout due to your young age. You were slightly tired when you came back of course, and it seems like the exhaustion finally kicked in.

If this were any other person, Blade would've flatly said no, but this was you...Blade didn't understand why, but he could never say no to you.

Blade then arched a brow at your words, red eyes opening, and he held back the teasing smirk that threatened to creep upon his lips, “Didn’t you say you wouldn’t speak to me for the whole day?”

“Oh shut up!” You glared, pulling your knees up to your chest with a frown that looked more like a pout, “So can I sleep in your lap or what?” You continued quietly, turning away and pressing your cheek against your kneecaps in embarrassment with your words.

The older man was quiet for a while. He didn't like being affectionate, he didn't like being kind either. He just didn't like to give in. But to you? He would always make an exception.

So slowly, he lifted the child up and plopped them in his lap, holding their surprised figure close. There were no words spoken, but deep inside, Blade felt something. Maybe it was affection. Maybe it was a little bit of love. Perhaps it was admiration or fondness!

But he was never able to figure out what it exactly was.

Your eyes slightly widened in shock at the fact the so-called “cold and heartless” Blade was carrying you in his arms as if you were his child before a grin spread across your face and you nuzzled into his chest and pulled your legs closer for warmth.

You felt two arms wrap around you to keep you warm and another held your head closer to their chest, yet you didn’t need to open your eyes to see who it exactly was since you already knew.

Silence filled the air for awhile as you laid in his arms before you finally broke it.

“You want to hear another jo—”

“Don’t ruin it.”

This kinda reminded me of the audio "Leave me alone, baby! …..AUGHHH YOU'RE MY BABYYY! YOU'RE MY BABY AND I LOVE YOU SM" blade fr fr

[spidrzfall]

Bus ⤑ Peter Parker.

This fic is heavily inspired and taken after the Bluey Episode 'Bus' !! which is just the cutest episode in the whole show that i have the biggest inspiration for it hehe !! Enjoy you guys, Love A.

☆° Peter Parker x Male Reader

☆°• fluff!

°•▪︎ Fem readers DNI ♡♡

♧ warnings: none! !!♧

♡ NOTES: none !!

╔⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤╗

The second (M/N) stepped out the door he could feel the nerves in his body consume him whole. His leg bounced up and down as he waited at the bus stop, trying to locate where the bus was and when it would arrive. For the past month and a half (M/N) has been taking the bus…more specifically the 4-11, usually at this time it was empty, with no passengers and if there were it would only be a few which was a miracle! Nevertheless (M/N) appreciated the idea that there weren't any passengers…especially because he had the biggest crush on the bus driver, Peter. 

As the bus pulled in at the same time as always causing (M/N) to stand up and walk up to the two front doors of the bus that hissed open as Peter announced, “Bus stopping! Doors opening!” As his eyes made contact with (M/N) a bright smile saw his usual passenger on the other side as he began to speak, “Mornin’ Passenger, where are you headed off to today?” Peter glanced at the man seeing him insert some coins into the slot of the bus before hurriedly making his way to one of the seats closest to the window in the 2nd row. “The Art Museum, Please!” (M/N) managed, his voice somewhat high pitched and quick feeling the familiar nerves hit him at once as he spoke to the brunette.

“Huh…okay?” Peter murmured to himself before grabbing one of the stick gears next to him and announcing that the doors would be shut close now as he hummed a small tune as he continued to drive. Unknowing to him about the nervous wreck that was (M/N) who occasionally glanced in Peter’s direction the air inside thick with awkwardness and clear silence the only sound coming from the city as Peter took note of the lack of traffic, “There isn’t much traffic today, so it should be a smooth drive to the Museum. That is unless something get’s in our way but I doubt that’s gonna happen, we shouldn’t take that long to get there” Peter broke the silence as he continued to drive, his eyes on the road as he spoke to the man behind him who replied shortly afterwards “Oh, That’s…great”

(M/N) would be lying if he said he didn’t wish that something would make the bus ride a smidge bit longer, sure he and Peter never talked and it was just a silly distant crush but he liked Peter regardless that even if they had to sit in silence the whole ride, (M/N) would enjoy it anyways. The bus taking it’s usual course as Peter made a stop towards on of the bus stops nearby, “Yeah, it’s most likely going to be a smooth trail from he…” Peter cut off as he opened the bus doors to let in passengers as he groaned softly, Richard and Gladys. “Oh no..” Peter murmured as he ran a hand through his face, a look of boredom and slight annoyance crawled its way to him seeing as Richard and Gladys slowly approach the buses entrance.

Peter didn’t know where to begin with Gladys and Richard, two old folk he had picked up roughly 4 different times in the 2 years he’s been working as a bus driver but even from those few interactions boy did they leave an impression on Peter. For two old people they were quite annoying, Richard was always up in everybodys business and everybodys lives concerned him which was sweet but highley overbearing especially when the older man always tried to take matters into his own hands. Gladys was almost the opposite, a very sweet woman but just as colorful as the older man. She was hard of hearing and would constantly not pay attention to almost anything anybody would tell her as well as being incredibly clumsy and unfiltered. 

“We’re on our way to bingo, darling” Gladys began as he opened up her coin purse grabbing a fist full and just chucking them at Peter’s feet a small chuckle escaping her lips “Awh, My coins…” She spoke her voice catching (M/N)’s attention. Peter couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he set his foot down “Alright listen, you two. I do not want any trouble! I expect you two to be decent.” Pointing his finger as he glared at the two, Richard raising his voice as he had a smile on his face “I don’t know what you’re referring to, son.” before walking towards the seats of the bus his eyes making contact with (M/N)’s as he sat next to him “Hope you don’t mind if i take a seat here do you, son?” – “All yours” (M/N) replied as he scooted over seeing as how Gladys took a seat in the row in front of them.

“Where are you headed to, Love?” Richard asked as he turned to face the younger man. “Oh to the Art Museum” (M/N) replied as he saw Richard shake his head “You should take the 6-17 bus, It’ll take you there faster.” the older man suggested as he pointed to a nearby bus stop where the 6-17 usually stopped at before Gladys commented “No, Love. You’re thinking about the 8-10 bus” – “Oh you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Richard replied as he shook his head before his attention being retracted back to (M/N)’s. “Well actually I take this bus because…I’m secretly in love with the bus driver” (M/N) confessed as he whispered the last bit to Richard seeing the old mans eyes widen in surprise and interest as he ‘ooh’ed at (M/N)’s confession, “Really? He seems a bit dorky to me” Richard spoke as he adjusted his glasses catching a glimpse of Peter “Oh no, not for me.” (M/N) spoke, his voice only proving just how smitten he was over the other. “Isn’t that just wonderful, young love I say. You two could get married and have bus babies. I’ll let him know” Richard spoke as he stood up clearing wanting to make his way towards Peter only to be pulled back in by (M/N).

“No! I’m not ready to tell him! I’m not even sure if he knows me well or if he likes me back” (M/N) spoke clearly worried and slightly embarrassed. “This generation…you have to tell him you love him! We’re almost at your destination” Richard spoke as he adjusted himself back into the seat. “I know…I just- I need more time” (M/N) replied shyly as he rubbed his arm, Richard on the other hand had a look that he had a plan as he quickly nodded, “well if it’s time you need. We got you covered. Oh bus driver next stop, please!”

Peter glanced through the mirror as he heard the familiar stop bell ring as he raised a brow “The next stops a pasta shop, what happened to bingo?” Peter asked as he began to slow the bus down so they could reach the right stop. “Well what do you expect me’ missus to cook when I get home after bingo?” As Peter nodded taking that into consideration as he stopped the bus, opening the doors up for the older man. As he saw Richard go up to the sliding doors and staring at the shop before turning back around and into the bus “I forgot, I don’t have a missus” The man spoke as he went back to his spot next to (M/N). Peter rolling his eyes as he shut the doors shut once again and went back to driving towards the museum.

Only for a few minute second for the stop bell to ring again as Peter raised a brow yet again looking at the next stop. “The next stop is a dealership!” Peter spoke as he slowed the bus down again and as before Richard was to speak again “Well you expect me to show up to Bingo empty handed in a crummy bus?” Peter only shaking his head at the reply as he stopped the bus again, opening the doors once again as Richard made hos way towards them again…and once more not getting off and going back to his seat “I forgot I don’t know how to drive!” Peter just about had enough as he muttered out a soft curse from under his breath shutting the doors back up as he drove once again but not before scolding the passengers, “Passangers should only ding the bell if they intend to get off! Is that clear?”

“Tell him you love him!” Richard murmured to (M/N) as (M/N)’s eyes widned a sense of warmness coating his cheeks as he shook his head “No!” (M/N) practically yelled as Peter furrowed his brows “What do you mean no?” – “I mean yes! We understand!” 

The ride went by smoothly only for 3 seconds later for the same bell ringing again as he let out a frustrated groan “The next stop is a junkyard!” Peter expressed his patience slipping everytime he spoke. “I need to throw some things away!” Richard’s voice boomed as the bus instead of slowly stopping made a harsh stop as the doors opened “Theres the junkyard, get out and throw your junk away” Peter spoke as he stared at the older man and again Richard made his way to the doors only to turn back around “I didn’t bring any of it with me” 

“That is it! We are not making any more stops until the museum and than you could ALL get off!” Peter spoke frustrated as he shut the doors and started up the bus, speeding his way through the road. “You need to tell him now, honey. You’re almost out of time” Richard spoke to (M/N) as he saw the man hesitate shaking his head in confirmation he wasn’t going to. “Where’s Marmalade…” Gladys whispered in front of them which went unheard as (M/N) and Richard spoke. “I’ll just do it tomorrow” (M/N) spoke to Richard as he shook his head. “Oh no deary, Todays so much better than tomorrow.” – “Marmalade??” 

“Bus Stopping! There, Museum, now all of you out!” Peter spoke as the doors came open only for Gladys to speak up again “Where’s Marmalade?” (M/N) raising a brow as he looked at Richard “Who’s Marmalade?” – “Gladys pet tarantula” Richard replied as all 3 of the passengers looked at Peter who had a huge tarantula crawling in his shoulder as Peter screamed out trying to get it off, getting up and trying to shake it off him.

“There you are, Marmalade”

“Get it off!!” Peter screamed as he walked backwards only to fall off the bus and onto the pavement of the crosswalk. (M/N) watching the scene unfold as he stood up in concern as he shouted at Peter from the window “It’s right there!! Suck the poison out!!” As he was caught up on the scene from outside before his attention was drawn to the bus starting up as he turned to Richard who was looking at the scene from the window as well “Who’s driving?” 

“Gladys is driving”

“Oh okay…”

“GLADYS IS DRIVING?!” (M/N) shouted as his eyes widned turning to the front of the bus as he saw the shorter older women drive recklessly as he saw Peter follow right after shouting after the bus “Hey thats my bus!!” could be heard from outside as (M/N) turned to Richard. “DO SOMETHING!!” he spoke panicked as he saw the older man lie down “time for a grandad nap…” – “Richard!!”

(M/N) made his way towards the front of the bus as he slowly brought Glady away from the steering wheel, trying to lift her up “Cmon honey…give me the wheel” (M/N) spoke panicked and softly as he pried the women away only for the steering wheel to come off as he took it in his hands, Peter chasing them from behind yelling at (M/N) “Push the brakes!” as (M/N) scrambled with it trying to push the brakes only for them to not work “They don’t work!!” he screamed back “Pop the wheel back in place!!” Peter screamed as (M/N) quickly popped the steering wheel back into place as Peter threw himself at the open doors, stumbling into the floor of the bus as he groaned but quickly got up as he put a hand on the side of the drivers seat where (M/N) was sitting.

(M/N) took note of just how close Peter really was as he blushed softly, what a great time to be so close to your crush as (M/N) occasionally glanced at him “Hi…” he finally spoke as his voice “Hey” Peter replied back as he looked at (M/N) “How’s your day going?” The two exchanged a look as Peter finally spoke up “Pretty slow day.”

“Tell him!”

“Richard!”

“Tell me what?” Peter smirked as he looked at the slight redness in (M/N)’s face as he leaned in only slightly. “Nothing! I’ll uhm…tell you tomorrow.” (M/N) replied as he tried to take control over the steering wheel “Well there isn’t going to be a tomorrow! We’re going to hit that custard factory!!” Peter shouted as pointed straight ahead. The two exhanging a look as Peter grabbed the two older people in the back as they shouted in surprise before he leaped out the bus (M/N) following from behind. All 4 of them hitting the pavement below as Richard and Gladys laid on the ground groaning in the background a large crash sound most likely the bus hitting the factory as Peter and (M/N) landed besides each other the two relived that they didn’t die their hearts racing.

“We’re alive…” (M/N) spoke in disbelief as he panted. “I can’t believe it…” Peter murmured as he tried to breath. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you! I keep putting it off for tomorrow but now…i think i’m going to tell you” (M/N) spoke out of breath as he smiled, the adrenaline rush clearly getting to him “I want to get married and have your bus babies!” Peter looked up at the sky as he tried to process what he had just been told. “Oh.

“Richard, i did it! I told him!” (M/N) spoke as he walked up to the older man who was helping Gladys up from the ground “Oh i told you, son. Now go on and have your bus babies.” Richard laughed softly as he shooed (M/N) away. “Oh no. He’s already married to a giraffe.” 

And just like that (M/N) stood in the middle of the living room of his and husband’s shared home. Two children standing in front of him pretending to be old people. Their older son, Jose and their youngest daughter, Amelia dressed up and hunched over as if wanting to give the illusion they were much older than what they really were as the two faced their dad. “What?” Jose spoke imitating an older mans voice “We’ll see about that! C’mon Gladys!” Jose’s voice echoed in the room as he grabbed his little sisters hand and ran up to tackle Peter, rough housing with the man. A wide smile on (M/N)’s face as he saw their kids mess around with his husband who was getting ‘kissing’ a huge plush giraffe before getting tackled down by their son, his playful scream echoing in the room as he looked at (M/N) for ‘help’. “Babe!!” – “Kids!” 

╚⏤⏤⏤╗❀╔⏤⏤⏤╝

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfics - Grief/Mourning

Words: 993

@wolfstarmicrofic

***

Sirius arrived at Remus’ cottage yesterday on Dumbledore's orders. It wasn’t that Remus minded, but a heads up would have been preferable to a bedraggled, but grinning Sirius just appearing at his door at 11 pm.

He made them both tea, and some toast for Sirius, and they sat on Remus’ worn sofa staring at each other for a few minutes.

“Would you like a bath?” Remus asked eventually.

“Is that your polite Moony way of telling me I smell?” Sirius laughed. “I’d love a bath, actually. Can’t remember the last time I had a bath.”

Remus nodded and took his tea into the bathroom to start running a bath. Sirius lingered in the doorway, sipping his own tea from his favourite mug. Remus had felt silly for keeping it but now, seeing it in his hands again, he was grateful to his ridiculous brain for forbidding him from throwing it away.

“Can’t believe you kept this,” Sirius said quietly. “Thank you.” Remus just smiled at him, “So. I’m assuming that Dumbledore didn’t warn you that I’d be here?”

“He didn’t,” Remus added bubbles to the bath, to Sirius’ delight. “But I’m glad you’re here. We have a lot of catching up to do.” Sirius smiled at him as he tested the temperature of the water. “I think this is done. Towels are on the rail. Do you need—”

“Would you stay in here with me?” Sirius’ gaze was fixed on the cup in his hands. “Please?”

Remus nodded, “Of course. Whatever you need.”

He looked away as Sirius shed his clothes and slid into the steaming water. He continued looking away as Sirius groaned blissfully before sitting on the floor with his back against the tub.

“You cut your hair.” Sirius said, “It’s nice.”

“Thanks. Uh, do you want some help with yours?” Remus asked, “I have conditioner. It wouldn’t be too hard to detangle, I’m sure.”

“You don’t think I should just cut it all off?” Sirius sounded surprised.

“Well, do you want to cut it all off?”

“No,” He said in a small voice, “But I convinced myself that was the only way of salvaging it. It’s pretty bad. There are no hairbrushes in Azkaban, but I think being Padfoot helped.”

“We’ll figure it out.” He turned his head slightly to smile at Sirius.

“Thanks, Moons.” Remus thought his heart might stop hearing Sirius call him ‘Moons’ again, but he schooled his features and took a couple of deep breaths. “You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He rested his head on the edge of the tub. “You want me to put some music on? I have all our old records.”

“Of course you do.” Sirius chuckled, “Oh, shit. I bet I’ve missed so much. How many new Queen albums are there?”

And it was at that moment that Remus’ heart broke. Sirius, he realised, had no idea that his idol was dead. He really had missed so much. It had only been a few years since Freddie Mercury’s death, but it still devastated Remus when he thought of the end of his life or listened to The Show Must Go On. So he tried not to.

“There were a few in the 80s,” Remus said, guardedly.

“But nothing new?” Sirius swirled his hands under the hot water and smiled at the sensation. Then he paused and looked up at Remus. “Please don’t tell me they split up.”

Remus shook his head but knew his eyes were about to spill over and give him away. “Worse, sorry.”

Sirius stilled, “Tell me.”

“In the 80s, there was this illness that mostly affected queer people, queer men especially. AIDS. It’s not a death sentence anymore, but it was then. It was terrifying. So many of us died, Pads. Freddie died. A few years ago. It was awful.” He inhaled sharply, “I’m so sorry.”

He looked up at Sirius and saw his face frozen in a look of pure anguish. A single tear rolled down his right cheek as a sob choked out from his chest. “No.” He whispered, “No.”

Remus turned around, no longer caring about seeing Sirius’ body. He reached out a hand to wipe the tear away and Sirius grasped it in his own. Remus sat on the side of the bath and pulled Sirius into his chest, wet clothes be damned. Sirius sobbed as Remus held him, stroked his matted hair, and rubbed his back.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said again. “Queen and Bowie released a single together, days after you went to Azkaban*. It felt like the cruellest thing in the universe on top of everything else. There’s a lot you haven’t heard. We can listen when you’re ready. I didn’t even think about…”

They stayed like that until the bath water was cold, Sirius bordering on catatonic, nodding as Remus told him about songs and albums that he’d love. Sirius wondered what the point was. Everyone was dead or dying, Voldemort was back, and he had no way of protecting Harry, or Remus. He closed his eyes as Remus gently washed his hair with warm water and did his best to detangle the knots. He stared vacantly at the ceiling of Remus’ bedroom for hours and listened to Remus breathe.

After a few hours, he got up and headed for the record player. He rifled through Remus’ records until one caught his eye, with cartoon versions of the band on the front, ‘A Kind of Magic’. He scanned the tracklist and found himself drawn to side 2. He slipped it onto the turntable, dropping the needle onto the vinyl, a very familiar crackle that made him smile tentatively as he turned the volume down.

As soon as the vocals started There’s no time for us, There's no place for us, Sirius found himself crying again. Within seconds Remus’ arms were around him and he held on tight. He wasn’t sure which of them started swaying gently first.

Who waits forever anyway?

***

* this is my villain origin story.

[kozumesphone]

hiii idk if you’re still accepting these for the event… butttt can i please have if you seek amy??

i am emma, i’m 5’4, autistic and adhd, i have short natural blonde curly hair but have it dyed red with brown over it so it’s kinda golden-y red now, i’m a reader, writer, and barista, i love movies, i am a massive swiftie, i love the beach and live in a very warm and sunny place. i wear a lottt of pink, and always wear converse. percy jackson is my favourite thing in the entire universe. i love doing things in the water, swimming, kayaking, and the like. i’m very sarcastic, love little kids, and want to be a stay at home mum more than anything.

thank you!!

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

EMERCY ⭑.ᐟ

⟢ “i’m a million dollar baby, don’t at me!”

my brain can not physically see you with anyone other than percy mf jackson.

there’s a pretty good height difference (5’4–6’1) between you guys, but that just makes your hugs more cozier if ykwim

you guys had the childhood enemies to best friends to lovers trope written down from the start!! you probably had a silly fight as kids, but grew closer with time, and became best friends till you were around 11-12 years old

he loves yapping to you about anything and everything, and he loves hearing you yap as well <3 adhd-iac x adhd-iac trope goes so hard with yall!

you probably definitely have tried out your hair dye colours on his hair (he ASKED for it, literally)

you don’t stay at chb all year around, but percy does, so, whenever percy’s out on a quest, he always makes sure to drop by the cafe you work at!

he loves listening to you talk about the books you read, or the novel you’re currently writing btw

you’ve gone to the inside out movies with him, and to a taylor concert right after that <3

also!! cabin 3 kid x beach-lover kid is so perfect?? you’ve had multiple underwater kisses, and collected so many shells + made matching necklaces out of them (he added some shells you collected to his chb necklace)

you’ve both done every water-related activity ever! swimming, snorkelling, deep sea diving, kayaking, speed boating, talking to cute fishies and jellyfishes, you name it!

he’s always loved your dressing style, especially your converse (he thinks they’re very practical to run at a moment’s notice from monsters) + he thinks you look really cute fighting monsters in pink clothes. idk. it’s just a thing.

also, whenever you go over to his house, and sally & paul go out on a date, you both take care of estelle; it’s so so so cute and you always end up with major baby fever!

once, when you both took estelle with you to the grocery store, someone had told you ‘your baby is SO cute!’ and gushed over her in your arms, while percy replied with a simple ‘thanks’, making you blush

you guys definitely plan on having kids in the future!

(as a cabin 3 kid, I 101% approved of yall since the beginning okay)

bonus: you and I hang out more than you hang out with him 🫶

taglist for event — @serendipitous-girl @mqstermindswift @anyas-shitposting69 @skeelly @urmomabby

@sunnitheapollokid @gentlehue @gossip-girl-co @cinemaconrad @mqshido

@flowers-for-em @aezuria @thetunnelunderoceanboulevard @cherigall @percabethluvr

@pjoverseluvr @maybxlle @sweetnnaivete @riordanness @starlitszn

@metyouattherighttime @a-beautiful-fool @sequinsnstars @ssparksflyy @fayvpor

@iheartgirlzn @nomournersnofunerals @over-the-ocean-call @seaglass-and-string @cer3lia

@lara20aral @strawberryapologist @xoxochb @auroraofthesun1 @sophiesonlinediary

@solangelotus @brodieland @s1utlvr @imasimpdealwithit @waitingonher

@nqds @skyrigel @daydream-of-a-wallflower @hermidastouch @catastrxblues

@moon-drop18 @d4rkdi0rrr @hopelesslyromantic-shark @hope92100 @fizzywashere87

event masterlist

kozumesphone © 2024 | don’t repost my works onto other platforms, or edit and post them even on tumblr, without asking me first • don’t steal my works, steal my heart instead • reblogs and comments are more than appreciated !

[the-way-astray]

HEY so I skim read your new Keefe hate post and I have some thoughts I'd like to share (all good ones!!)

As someone who also wrote a very long essay about [a] fictional character(s) while citing the page number and book word by word, you freaking ACED it. I'm always gonna be impressed when people take the time to cite your source and give a in depth explanation about it

You're lowkey not too wrong about Keefe infantilizing Sophie. For something silly and stupid, like "Iggy ate my mallowmelt!! >:( Now im mad!!" yeah I bet Sophie would seem cute lol. But for when she's genuinely angry and pissed?? Maybe lay off a little bit dude 😭 Like cmon she can murder you with her mind- There are moments where he does talk about how powerful she is though, throughout the series, but tbh as much as he does that he probably inhantilize her too *shrug* I need to reread the series, but you are making some sense.

I need Keefe getting mad and someone asking him if he's on his period LMAOOOO

Anyways as someone who loves Keefe you're making valid points. He has his flaws, and sometimes he isn't the best person. In summary

Never post that on pinterest. Those crazy Keefe loving, Fitz hating, Sokeefe shipping 11 year olds will MURDER YOU. I will respect your opinion, but they sure don't.

(your opinion is valid and you have facts *clap and approving nod* you have my respect.)

the post in question

okay, first of all, i need this essay immediately. i literally do not care what it's about but words! lots of words! about kotlc! need.

ooh, thank you so much! i mentioned this in the post itself, but this is a rework. the quotes were originally in one post (copy-pasted from another post) and the explanation was in a reblog, which was hella annoying, so i condensed them. i suppose it does make much more sense now. and my explanation is based in the fact that i don't think people were understanding why this isn't a good thing to be saying, period, when i posted it for the first time. even without context.

yeah, keefe displays a consistent attitude of "sophie is so adorable and small and cute and ditzy and soft". seriously, if you don't believe me, read his perspective in unlocked (or don't, because i'm going to do it for you in my part two keefe rant). it's why i don't buy his accepting sophie as a leader in stellarlune (done in a very, very tell-not-show way, may i add), unless he went through some serious development in unraveled. i may have to dedicate a whole post to that topic . . . anyway, yeah, him calling her powerful and talented feels very, very, very tell-not-show, and when you look at his internal thoughts in unlocked, it portrays her very differently. i'm not a fan of the way he sees her, truly. it feels very dumbed down and uwu-ified. no quotes from unlocked have been put into the post, so i'll have to update it later, but if i included unlocked quotes, this post would be like sixteen times its length. but yeah, you should reread the series before you come to a serious opinion. i'm obviously incredibly biased.

GOODBYE I WAS CITING THAT POST BECAUSE IT GAVE OFF THE EXACT ENERGY I FEEL KEEFE GIVES OFF . . . I DON'T EVEN THINK ELVES HAVE PERIODS (please nobody bring back that cursed discussion again, please, i beg) BUT YOU'RE SO CORRECT. SOMEONE WRITE A HUMAN AU WHERE THIS HAPPENS IMMEDIATELY

yay, a level-headed keefe lover, i love you guys. lol . . . i don't plan to go on pinterest anytime soon, or ever (and i also don't even think pinterest's format even allows for a long post like this . . . ). honestly the thought would have never even crossed my mind, because keepblr is my one true love and i'd never cheat on her. but now that you mention it, it might be funny . . .

[kaydeefalls]

20 questions for writers

tagged by @lindstromm - thanks! I'm in a bleh mood so a good askmeme is right up my alley at the moment.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

229, which include any fic I've written going back to 2002. About 30 of those works are vids instead.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,518,992! I just passed the 1.5mil mark with my last fic, and am very pleased with that. Especially because I remember only passing the 1mil mark early on in TOG fandom, so I've written quite a lot of those words just in the past few years. (By my standards, at least, that's a lot!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Many. I am very multifannish at heart. I tend to settle into one primary fandom for a few years at a time, but even then, I'm still writing the occasional oneshot for random other fandoms. Most recent primary fandoms were The Old Guard and X-Men, most recent fic posted was for Heartstopper (and I'll likely linger in that fandom for a bit now that I'm here).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Logical Deduction (HP, Remus/Sirius) - a very silly fic from 2006 that has, to my mild dismay, somehow risen the kudos ranks (6245 kudos?!) by virtue of the sheer enormity of HP fandom. So it goes.

it's like one of us woke up (X-Men, Charles/Erik) - XMFC canon divergence / fix-it fic. I'm still unsure why this is my most popular Cherik fic, but I'm not mad about it.

she's the one that they call old whatsername (Star Trek AOS, Kirk/Spock) - my only non-crossover Trek fic, and always-a-girl!Kirk to boot. I do love this one, still.

The Pond Continuum (Doctor Who, Amy/Rory) - in which Amy and Rory unwittingly encounter various other companions as they live out their post-Doctor life on the slow path. I am fond.

life is very long (Old Guard, Nicky/Joe) - my first TOG fic, posted like a week after the movie hit fandom like a ton of bricks, and reaping the kudos benefits of being in the right place at the right time. It was a good entry point into a new fandom for me, for sure!

I do love that my top 5 are all completely different fandoms; that feels very reflective of me as a writer. (Top 6, actually, since #6 is MCU.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always, if only with a quick thanks. Because I really appreciate receiving them, and want the commenters to know.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The angstiest ENDING? I have to dig deeper into the past for those, because I was more prone to writing them when I was much younger. These days, while I do enjoy a bit of angst along the way, I NEED a happy ending. Probably one of my old Remus/Sirius fics, but I'm not going trawling for a link now.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them, lately. I need to believe in happiness. Fandom is my escapism from an increasingly grimdark reality.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Very rarely, fortunately. Let's keep it that way. The backbutton is right there if you don't like any of my fics, no hard feelings.

9. Do you write smut?

Not really? Sex scenes, yeah, sometimes, but I've only got 4 fics (out of 229) rated as Explicit, and honestly, glancing over them now, they probably only really warrant an M rating. I have no interest in describing bits and bodily fluids in graphic detail, I don't personally find that sexy. But sex is a significant element of human connection for many folks, so yeah, I'll include it where it feels appropriate.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes, though I prefer fusions (characters from one verse written into another) to more literal crossovers (character A from fandom A meets character B from fandom B). But I've certainly written a few. They're fun!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several! I'm always excited and honored when that happens.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope, never. I'd be curious to try that out someday, though honestly, writing is such a private/internal activity for me that I'm not sure I'd be any good at it.

14. What is your all time favorite ship?

I do NOT play favorites in this way. I love all my OTPs in all their unique and individual ways, and I'll always happily revisit them years and years later (as a reader, at least). Here, let's just say that Mulder/Scully was my very first ever OTP, so they will always have a special place in my heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I've never abandoned a WIP once I've started posting it (though a couple took YEARS to finish, ugh), so really, now we're just looking at my personal WIP folder in gdocs. There are a few in there I'm sad about leaving unfinished. Um, let's go with an old Doctor Who/Torchwood fic, which I've got like 15k words written for but have long since moved on from. Every few years I'll dig it up and reread what I wrote and quietly mourn the fact that I never finished it, but there's no way I'll ever get back into that particular headspace (and the fandom is a very different place now).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character voices. I'm a good mimic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sex scenes/action scenes. I despise writing these. Smut I avoid, but action scenes are sometimes necessary, and they drive me up a fucking wall.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language during a fic?

If it's just a few words/brief phrases sprinkled in, because that's how the character in question would speak, great. If there's extended dialogue - well, still depends on the character POV to me. If the character DOES speak the other language, I'd write it out in English (since that's the language I write fic in) and indicate through the narration that they're actually speaking Italian, or French, or what have you. If the POV character does NOT speak the language themself but is overhearing it, I don't include the dialogue at all, just narration to describe it. It's all about whose POV we're in and what's actually being understood, to me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files. You will not find those fics on my AO3. I was very young then.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

NO FAVORITES. TOO MANY FICS. My most recent fic is usually my current favorite, anyway, so have one last plug for and we have all the time in the world (to get it right) if you're into Heartstopper, and let's move on. 😉

No-pressure tagging @andrea-lyn, @knoepfchen, @polarcell and anyone who's in the mood to play!

[rock-n-onyx]

uhmsuhms so ok so you get the Haven. That is most written out oc who isnt a fandom one or anything,,,,,Or persona. Persona in oc world is lored up but dont feel like sharing.yet.

This blorb except I rewrote entire backstory because felt uncomfy with somethings

>O<

Okay okay this is prolly a lot and maybe too mych and uhmuhm yeyyeye

~ Basic Info ~

Haven (God. Of. Fate) | 20yo. | They/Them pronouns- Don't mind being reffered to as He/She though

> They can no longer age, such is the curse of being throned a god.

Has a partner (Cas) To which they are very happy gayly in love- And engaged!

|| Despite commonly being seen and misinterpreted as a girl, Haven's actually amab, which makes it more fun to fuck with people- Especially people who try to be mean.

:: A survivor of the old world (1/6)

Like to dress howerever, after all "Gender is bullshit" They will be as silly as they want- Always

Not only sarcastic, but also heavy with the randomest dark humor jokes to cope with any problems.. With close friends only (<Will eventually get therapy, just not ready to open up to some stranger)

Hates cooking, please dont make them do it, they cooked an egg following a recipe perfectly and it STILL ended up charred black

> No label for sexuality. They don't care, just love their partner.

the only happy ending they need is to stay with their partner. Even if they die together, even if they lost everything- Just would find comfort in being with Cas as any happy ending.

Very protective of friends/family. You don't fuck with someone they care about without having consequences

Originally their hair was a beautiful brown, yet now it only growns black and white. They call ot a curse- And specify no more then that

--|~|--

Okaokay backstory ihmuhmugxjnmmfmsnnfnsnf

Haven's childhood was. Unfortunate to say the least. Their father passed young due to health issues and sickness, though he was happy being there for at least two years.

After that it was just Haven and their mother. Who didn't know how to raise a boy. For years, she did try to be a good mother, she tried to love Haven and raise a healthy boy, but at the cost of her own sanity, and at some point she started breaking and falling apart.

It very quickly lead to emotional and mental abuse. Their mother was a mess, and she would constantly take out her emotions on Haven.

- Though she would never physically due something, the yelling and everything... It wasn't good. She was always greiving, and Haven was mostly just left alone for far too long as their mother would lock herself in her room constantly..

Haven was 11 when that changed. When the neglect and emotionsl abuse had come to an end. Because her mother had gotten so unstable, and due to the terrible smell that had come from the house- Neighbors assumed it was just hording, but when someone came to check on the two...

Haven had been left alone with their mothers slowly rotting corpse, as she hung from a noose... As she was written in a note; Sorry for being a bad mother, and willing to go away so Haven didn't deal with her anymore.

Haven at that point, just eventually moved around houses until being placed with their not much better grandparents! The place they lived in was filthy, and just disgusting. Haven was only there for a year, until eventually, almost at the age of thirteen-- ran away.

--> Haven had met Cas and [Spirit] when they were 7, they were best friends, as well as <spirits younger sister> ...They were close, and when haven ran away, they went to [Spirit] because they were closer..

Haven eventually moved in with [Spirit's] parents... Sister. Who was sweet. and absolutely adoring of Haven. She was there even when around fourteen, Haven started messing with their identity.

They wanted to be more. They saw girls wear dresses, and they wanted to do that too... For a year (14-15) they thought they may have been a girl! Where- Haven's name came from. It wasnt always Haven, but legally they had changed it finding their previous name.. Didnt feel right for them.

Around 16, they finally landed on their identity; Nonbinary. They felt both genders, and in a way neither at the same time. Yet the name Haven, they still loved.

By this time, Haven and Cas also got into a relationship- Nothing too serious, started platonic as they were both uncertain of their feelings.

...They had been 16 for 135 days, before the withering happened. They lost their new loving and caring mother, as she protected them. As she saved them, when the world around broke.

Haven and Cas got seperated when getting saved by morality... Both believed the other to be dead. For a while.

When being saved by morality, Haven was brought to somewhere unfamiliar. A field of flowers, yet, nothing felt real. All that layed ahead of them was a cursed mask.

They never would be a god, had they never touched the mask- But no matter...

They were 18 when they finally were able to leave, when they finally could control the abilities they had now... Which they hated- And instantly their goal became finding out what happened to Cas.

It only took a few months for them to be reunited, able to walk the same land, hug again... And for once- Kiss.

Eventually they'd meet up with some of the others too. Which brings the end... To the start of a beginning.

--

\\ There are holes and gaps in what happened as they became god. All thats known is that it wasn't easy. Especially knowing how long it took to be ALLOWED to leave.... but they know their role now. -R

...Only 2 people have had contact with morality, too hear them.. Know them... Haven is one. (1/2)

<3

Haven is my skrunkly blorbo and has been in many many forms and pasts and. Has changed a lot from what was. Has been everywhere and one of the few ocs i think didnt come from an old name i used.....

Used to be like an inserted oc into fandom canon whatever but i mean. Mehhhhh didnt fit up and interests changed so dragged back to the thinking chambers and YAH

anyways maybe i should post onto oc blog again but also lazy

GNDJQJFJVKVFJRIFN HOLY SHIT I LOVE IT

SO IN DEPTH??? I LOVE???

[starkfish]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @meduseld! Because while I haven't written in awhile, I sure do love *talking* about writing :D Under the cut

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

A nice round 50.

2. What's your total ao3 word count? 337,459

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Nowadays not really any, lmao, but BACK IN THE DAY I was obviously primarily an ASOIAF writer, but I've also written for Harry Potter, Law and Order SVU, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Taken, and American Horror Story. And I loooooove talking about those fandoms that I write less frequently about so feel free if anyone had any questions, I would lap that shit right up.

4. Top five fics by kudos:

we're men of snow (we melt one day)

Rivers and Roads

this house no longer feels like home

And Maybe Someday Love

to stand outside your virtue (this one is probably the biggest surprise in the top 5 for me)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I was/am good at responding when a fic is newly posted but I'm not very good at it now, which is a shame on me because I still read and love every comment and I think people who take the time to leave comments on fics that are years old are super super rad. Usually I see it and get all giddy and then forget to respond and then feel weird responding much later, which is silly of me. I don't get a ton of comments anymore but I'm going to try and be better about answering because I do appreciate them!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Measures, that one is just an angst fest in general. Or hmm, A Myth of Devotion is a close second.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Aahahaha this is just making me realize how death is involved in like...all of my fics? So maybe Rivers and Roads since Ned and Cat get to be together at the end, despite the DEATH AND WAR around them? Or maybe that my lips would build a castle which finds Jon and Sansa together in Winterfell despite all the DEATH AND WAR THAT WAS AROUND THEM. Or maybe Wedding Bell Blues which is a fun modern AU despite the fact that Lyanna is unhappy in it. What can I say, I enjoy my angst.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not a lot, although I did just recently get someone angry that I tagged Ned/Ashara in 'Wedding Bell Blues', and honestly they weren't completely wrong but they were so obnoxious about it that the tag is staying there out of spite. And of course I used to get the requisite Catelyn hate but even that was pretty few and far between. My stuff is usually what it says on the tin and AO3 is a little bit more self selecting than other sites of the past.

9. Do you write smut?

Awwwww yis especially SMUT WITH FEELINGS.

10. Craziest crossover:

I'm not really a crossover babe, alas.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, someone took 'Measures' and basically rewrote it word-for-word as a Downton Abbey fic and someone recognized it as my work (...actually was it you, @meduseld??) and brought it to my attention. Lmao also back when I was on a Desperate Housewives livejournal (BACK IN THE DAYS) I had a couple of ESL writers take parts of my fics and use them in theirs and the mod of the LJ community got SO MAD at me when I was like "...hey please don't do that!" But the incident with 'Measures' was definitely the most blatant.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, and I think it's very cool! I would never attempt to translate it back though lol. But it is very touching to me that someone would like my work enough to want to take the time to translate it so others can enjoy it. I'm always fine with it as long as proper credit is given. I have also had a podfic done on a Lyanna comment fic and that was also extremely cool! The person who did that had a lovely reading voice. =)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a published fic but I've done roleplay-y writing with a few friends before which was always fun!

14. All time favorite ship?

I don't know if I've penned more words, thought more thoughts, spent more time for any other ship more than Ned/Cat. <3 A close second to Elliot/Olivia in Law and Order SVU for goddamn longevity though. Still dragging me along, twenty years later.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sadly I doubt I'll ever finish 'these are hard times for dreamers' because back in 2019 I only had the vaguest idea of where I wanted to go next and that has only gotten worse with time. I have also had a Lynesse fic half-written on my computer for probably like...five years at this point, BUT I think that's more likely to get finished at SOME point just because it is already around 4k words. But who knows WHEN.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character work, especially internal thoughts, setting a mood/scene, etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes, getting from point A to point B to point C, especially concisely versus needing ten thousand words. I also think my dialogue is hit or miss, especially in a longer back-and-forth conversation.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I'll reference it if need be but usually try and avoid because I don't speak any other language fluently and don't want to make any foolish mistakes.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Lmao SAILOR MOON (Geocities 5ever) and also I wrote some Pokemon stuff. I'm not even a little sorry.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I think it's 'we're men of snow (we melt one day)' which makes it especially gratifying that it is my most popular. There are still bits I would clean up if I were rewriting it but on the whole I'm so pleased with how it turned out and it was also really nice that it was a gift for a friend for FandomAid (@catelyngrant) who gave me pretty free reign to do whatever I wanted. So I'm glad I was able to deliver something that I'm very happy with because she deserves it! I am also very partial to my Lysa Heroine Big Bang fic, 'The Girl in the Mirror'. I love writing Lysa and this was the most complete thing I ever wrote about her, and I loved getting to flesh out her backstory. Much as it is super fun to play in the AU sandbox, it is also a ton of fun to examine a part of canon that is left uncovered in the source material. Tagging @catelyngrant, @apprenticemockingbird, and anyone else who may be interested!

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 1, Side B, Match 19

propaganda under the cut!

Boyf Riends:

Submission 1:

honestly, how could you not get their appeal? michael and jeremy were friends since they were kids, and they do weird nerd shit together because nobody else gets them. they like old retro games, weed, and 7-11, which means they're perfect. the thing is, they're fun to ship together not just because of their shared trauma and love of one another, but because their relationship is just the kind that a lot of people would like themselves; having somebody who enjoys your company and accepts you for who you are (even if who you are is a bundle of mental illness) and just *gets* you. all i'm saying is there is no better love than the kind that comes from two absolute fucking weirdos smoking weed in a basement playing the old zelda games. now a downside to this ship i will say is 1) that jeremy in the musical throws michael away like a piece of gum and 2) the fandom is a musical fandom which means crazy ass yaoi bitches. but the good news is that not only has the musical explained decently why jeremy did what he did, but also the fandom is dead! dead as hell! there are like 3 people left. which honestly makes it more needed that more people know about these two

listen they may have zero chance but please. they are everything to me (and me in 2018 when those silly little musical animatics were making the rounds)

Submission 2:

Because they have boyf reind backpacks <3

Avocados At Law:

They were roommates in college and opened up their own law practice together so they could help people and they've known each other for years but Matt has been hiding his identity as daredevil from Foggy. So much love and support in their relationship, so much of their lives they've spent weaving their lives together, they're practically married already, but it takes Foggy finding out about Daredevil, it takes /breaking/ their relationship for them to finally reconstruct it into something romantic. Not because they weren't interested before!!! But mostly because Matt was afraid, and he was holding himself back. Also also also Matt has major sensory issues (is super power is super senses) and uses Foggy's heartbeat to ground himself <33

[littlehannekin18]

I don't know if anyone will see this, but I needed to get it out.

Liam Payne's death has been heartbreaking in ways I honestly didn't think was possible. I didn't expect to have so many feelings about it, and yet here I am. Reading the letters and the autopsy report absolutely broke me.

For context, I was only maybe 9 when One Direction debuted. I only really fell in love with them when I was 11, so I didn't get to have some of the more personal experiences that older fans (like teens) may have had. I never had the pleasure of going to a concert or meet&greets. Even so, every girl has the right to choose her boy band and One Direction was what I grew up listening to in my formative years.

Liam was always my favorite. He had this bright smile and such a chill personality. After everyone split, he kind of went quiet for a while building his family and living more privately, but I always silently wished him the best, as I did all the boys. Hearing the news surfaced so many new emotions for me. Like, he has a 7 year old son that he loved dearly. That's crazy to me. He still spoke with the boys and even met with them and Simon on occasion. Reading all of their kind words about him, his son, and his career really made that evident.

Not only is it heartbreaking to lose such a wonderful human being, but the context around his death just makes it that much worse. There has been talk amongst the community of a possible reunion in the hopes that they could sing together again (Louis even touched on it in his letter). But, the timing of this tragedy has swept that dream out from under us. I keep thinking, "well, maybe they will still come together, for Liam's sake." But I just can't imagine One Direction without him. You turn on any given song, and the first voice you hear 8/10 times is Liam. He was such a key part of who they were as a band, it will never be the same.

The worst feeling to me, is that I don't feel like I can share this anywhere else but here. I can't post on my personal accounts like Facebook or snapchat because people will make fun of me. I was made fun of all my life for listening to silly little boy bands. Classmates would draw over their faces on my notebooks and tease me for my backpack.

I know I never got to meet him or see him in person. But that doesn't mean that he wasn't special to me. It would be no different if it had been Harry or Niall. I deserve the right to grieve a person that I looked up to as a child, that I admired and adored, without being scrutinized.

So, if you are reading this, please be kind. People are allowed to feel strongly about grief. Greif is different for everybody, and no one should ever feel ashamed for grieving. Show some love to the Directioners out there who are grieving silently like me.

[cluttertoadcos]

Kids at cons!

Okay, Pollywogs, I was once a kid at anime conventions, and let us be honest, I was obnoxious. This was back in 2013, right after the height of the Homestuck fandom. I was 100% running around the convention hall with candy-corn-colored cat ears, poorly sealed gray facepaint, and a tail I had made from the scraps of last year's holiday projects.

So, I totally get it! Anime conventions, especially smaller ones, tend to be largely family-friendly, and they should be. I'm really writing about the need for kids to have their guardians nearby, even at these family-friendly events.

I bring this up because this weekend @ Kitsune Kon here in the land of cheese, my bestie and I had a few weird interactions with some kiddos who seemed to need their adults.

I'll start not at the beginning but with a drink. My Bestie and I had decided to go down to the rave-not-rave Kitsune Kon hosts every year. As we got to the bar attached to the hotel, all dressed up, we ordered fun sailor moon-themed cocktails, found ourselves a nice buzz, and went off to dance. This is where we run into our first kiddos in this story in the main event hall, the DJ throwing some wild tunes, and maybe about 30 other people in the room...

The Dancing Kid

Okay, so I'll admit the kid had some moves. A dance circle was formed, and the kiddo took to it like a moth to a flame. And while the dance there has never been 18+, you don't tend to expect the kiddos to be running around past 11 p.m. This wouldn't have been a problem in the slightest if they didn't keep coming up to my friend to try and dance battle with him. In theory, it's pretty funny, right? We both thought so the first time it happened. He turned down the battle, and we continued dancing, except the kid kept coming up to him repeatedly. The unknown kid wouldn't leave him alone till we broke away from the circle, and all I remember thinking was, "Where is this kid, guardian?" but my question remained unanswered. The kid just kept dancing.

After that, the night moved on, and so did we, as we danced until we dropped and promptly went to bed like the folk we are.

I wanna double down again on the fact that cons are mostly and should be family-friendly. Even so, if you ever become a little nerd's guardian, then please take this advice from not just me, your favorite random Tumblr cosplayer, but also the random Reddit user Weird_Abrocoma7835, "Always keep an eye out for how to easily identify staff (staff shirts, places they tend to be) in case of emergency. Feel free to talk to people if you feel uncomfortable or if someone is being a creep."

PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS TOADY! TALK SAFETY WITH ANY MINOR YOU BRING WITH YOU TO CONVENTION SPACES

Make sure they know what event staff and security look like. If you do not explain to kids what to do in an emergency, they won't know. Also, it might be best to devise a plan for if you and your kiddo get separated. Do you want them to find the nearest wall and stay put? Do you think they should find the closest person in uniform? What is the plan? No matter what it is, make sure you all have one. And unlike the next kiddo from Kitsune Kon, please don't leave your young teens alone at a convention.

Crane Machine Kid

Don't get me wrong, the crane machine kiddo was a sweetheart. Outside the video game room this year, they had a keychain claw machine with really high odds. My coconspirator for the weekend decided to dump like $30 into it, and we went after the dumb little plushes we wanted with a passion! After acquiring our silly keychains, he offered the rest of his turn to other people waiting in line. This is where the cane machine kid comes in. They hesitantly took the last few of his rounds and then promptly told us how their day was going...Bad. The friends they were supposed to hang out with at Con had ditched 'em, and their parent that drove them couldn't pick them up for another 3 hours. This would have been bad enough, but they were 14 years old, alone in a new space, and now they decided to cling to the first adults who were kind to them.

Don't get me wrong; I am not saying adults and kids can't talk at cons, but let me be honest with ya'll: it was uncomfortable to have a minor trying to plan a hangout with the two random mid-20s adults; they just met. The kid's eagerness to be friends both enduring and disconcerting. Their lack of guardians at the convention center concerning. It was just a wild and uncomfortable situation all around for both the adults in this situation.

The moral of these stories is, please keep an eye on your kiddos at cons. I don't care if it's not your cup of tea; either make sure your kid has a trusted adult or keep them from going.