#please tell me someone has good news about the so called trilogy

[breathe-rainbow]

Just decided to go through and watch everything in my saved album of warrior nun/ avatrice TikToks and I feel emotionally ruined…

I thought I was over the cancellation. I’m not.

[clementhyne]

Trilogy of misfortunes!    

BY Clementhyne 

My first actual time I've written something that isn't just an idea in a notebook...Enjoy and if you want some more, please tell me. 

(Episode begins with Oscar and Hedgehog cleaning the attic of Dr. P. Shark's vacation lodge) 

Oscar: didn't know sharks had lodges... 

Hedgehog: well sasquatches have a monastery dedicated to PeanutButter and jelly sandwiches, so id classify this in the weird but believable category (pulls out a scribble pad with an arrangement of categories for new information learned on the island, ranging from: yeah, that seems logical... To BONKERS. 

Dr. P. Shark: ARE YOU DONE THERE CLEANING, FRIENDS? 

Oscar and Hedgehog in unison: WE GOT JUST THE WARDROBES LEFT! (they are yelling because they are far away) 

Dr. P. Shark: JUST DONT OPEN THEM, THEY ARE MY VACATION PORTALS, I USUALY USE THEM TO TRY AND TREAT ILL PEOPLE FROM OTHER WORLDS AS A HOBBY! UNFORTUNATELY, THEY HAVE PROVEN TO BE TOO MUCH EVEN FOR ME! 

(Oscar and Hedgehog glance at each other with a dumbfounded face, turning to a cute but mischievous look at the sight of the wardrobes) 

Oscar: Iam pretty sure he wouldn't have told us that if he did not want us to go in... 

Hedgehog: While your logic seems plain, I must insist that Dr.Shark told us that he had patients in there that he couldn't handle...So I'll sit this one out. 

Oscar: Welp. More daring adventures for me! 

(Oscar opens the wardrobe, a sky with fragmented mirrors litters the sky as stars) 

Oscar: Well, here I go, any second now, my elephant shaped shoes will step through here...Here I go.... Uhm ... yes, here I now enter this dark and uh sharp looking place, nothing bad will befall me! (Oscar keeps stalling since he cannot bear going through this scary place without someone, that being Hedgehog) 

Hedgehog: Fine fine, I'll go with you, but you must promise me it won't take long and that we'll stop often to document our surroundings! 

(Both step through the wardrobe and fall) 

Oscar: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH, PLEASE NOT LIKE THIS! I STILL HAVENT FINISHED MY GIRAFE PUZZZLLLLLEEEEEEE...... 

Hedgehog: AAAAAND I HAVENT SEEN THE ENTIRE ISLANDS MAGICAL PHENOMENONSSSSSSSSSSSS...... 

(Splash, they both fell in a mud lake, a lake but instead of water, mud.) 

Oscar: Eeeeewwwww 

Hedgehog:  As welllllll (on the same tone Oscar says ew) 

(they both sluggishly “swim” to the shore) 

(A curious onlooker goes up to them) 

Bardette: Since when hath mud-kippers taken to walking? 

Oscar: Last time I remembered, we were an elephant, and a hedgehog named Hedgehog. 

Hedgehog: (has a confused face staring momentarily at Oscar) 

Bardette: Verily, I have not witnessed aught emerge from this lake since our erstwhile companion, Mr. Shark. 

Oscar: (covering his mouth) do you have any idea what she's saying? 

Hedgehog: (also covering her mouth) Shes speaking in a medieval English style, my father told me to learn it a long time ago since learning just Latin wasn't enough for him. 

Bardette: What dost thou two prattle on about? 

Hedgehog: How wondrous it is to finally encounter another soul after such a lengthy tumble! If it pleaseth thee, might I inquire where I could find a refuge to regain our strength and cleanse our garments? 

Bardette: Verily, we have a family-owned inn, and we would be pleased to offer thee a night’s lodging on the house, kind folk! 

Hedgehog: Our deepest gratitude to thee, kind lady! 

(Bardette lets them hop on the clothes wagon) 

Oscar: So, what did you say? 

Hedgehog: Just pleasantries my dear Watson! (in a mockingly English accent) 

(after some awkward silence) 

Bardette: I am known as Bardette, by the by! 

Hedgehog: And we are called Lady Hedgehog and the knightly Sir Oscar! 

Oscar silently: oh, cool Iam a knight! good idea hedgehog! 

(scene cuts to them arriving at a beautiful inn deep in a forest clearing) 

(A man is seen outside gardening) 

Kniloy: Pray, what hast thou brought to me, mine lovely wife? 

Bardette: A pair of courteous strangers, seeking a place to stay the night! 

Kniloy: They may have the chamber in the cellar, on the condition they lend aid in ridding my garden of the troublesome pests. 

Oscar: I think he wants us to ride pests? Wouldn't it make more sense to escort his pests out the garden? 

Hedgehog: no, that's not...ugh never mind, just help me get rid of those moles. 

(the two walk over to the infested area of the garden) 

Hedgehog: Greetings, good fellows. Might we guide you to lands more bounteous and plentiful? 

Moles in unison: Oooh, wherefore might this bounteous land be? 

Hedgehog: Oh, through this very trebuchet! It shall send you to a wondrous realm known as the sky! 

(Points at shovel) 

Moles in unison: Oooh, that doth sound most adventurous! Well then, here we go! 

(Oscar and Hedgehog strongly fling the shovel in a manner full way at the sky, the moles are to never be seen again) 

Kniloy: Very well done, strangers. You may rest here. We have also prepared some spare garments in the bath. Though we found none that fit you precisely, we do have some dusty armor from days long past. It appears to fit you like a glove! 

(Oscar and Hedgehog take turns getting rid of the mud in the bathroom) 

Oscar: look Hedgehog! This armor looks very heroic on me! 

Hedgehog: While it looks heroic, it certainly doesn't compare to my aristocratic dress! Now Iam a fully-fledged Laaadyyy Heeeedgehooooog!  

(Says while doing a cute spin) 

Oscar: Well since you are the lady and Iam the sire, it'll be only fair to pledge my allegiance to your house of book smarts and funny accents! (says while kneeling) 

(a shot zooms out of the basement window showcasing in the corner of the screen a mysterious tornado of thunder and household objects, while the tornado is showcased, a faint maniacal laugh starts to appear. Thunder ends the scene) 

[sotwk]

I’m a bit late to the party, but thank you SO much for answering me super fast! I so appreciate your ultra-in-depth response about Mirion and Arvellas’s fates. Although I still weep on weekends, it’s helped me so much with my own story! And all the supplemental headcanon info on Mirkwood as a society has been invaluable to me as well! (Also thank you so much for your update on my Lindir fic! Please don’t worry about the length of time! When I submitted the request I shot for maybe having it as a Christmas present or New Year’s treat! But any time I receive it l’ll savor it all the same!)

I wanted to ask though, are there any writing exercises or prompts that you do to train your writing muscles? I find that I have a tougher time placing dialogue intentionally where it needs to be, and I struggle with showing, not telling. I plan my stories and chapters, which helps me a TON, but I still have issues. I’m coming back to writing after abandoning it in about 2018 because of uni and life. But now I wanna come back, which is why I’m writing my story, but I feel so rusty. Any tips/suggestions on how/what to write to improve on these skills?

Thank you so much for all your help. I really appreciate you. Your account’s richer than the mines of Moria for great writing content!

- Mithril

Hello Mirthril my friend!

Boy, am I glad I was able to answer your Ask quickly last time, because this one is laaaaate. I hope you'll forgive me that, but I have been pondering over your question since I received it.

My impostor syndrome tends to rear its ugly head whenever someone asks me for writing advice. I am against false modesty and all for giving oneself due credit, so I will say that I am a pretty damn good writer. (And I certainly hope so; I suck at math and most left-brain skills, so this is all I've got, haha!) However, I wouldn't call myself top-tier in the fanfic writer's world. Even though I have been doing this for many years, I still struggle with any aspects of my writing--in the same ways you described!

But you asked so kindly and I want to be able to offer you something, so here are the few tips I could think of that personally work for me, in addressing the challenges you described:

SotWK's Writing Strategies and Tips

Writing exercises or prompts

I actually suffer from having too many ideas, so I don't seek or invite new prompts often. I lean on the endless stream of wackadoo ideas in my brain, or the lovely suggestions and requests that come into my (always open) Ask Box.

I exercise things that I'm weakest at, and right now that's my speed and focus. I currently write at an abysmal 6-7 wpm (about 200 words every 30 minutes). Embarrassingly slow! I very recently discovered sprinting on Discord servers, and so far it's been effective in training me to focus on just getting words down as quickly as I can. I highly recommend it! I think with time it will gradually bump up my wpm.

If you really would like prompts to get you going, there are plenty of prompt games floating around the Tolkien fandom. You can also source them from writing groups, such as @fellowshipofthefics, the one I currently belong to. Their January Trope Roulette, for example, is so much fun! Amazing support group for Tolkien writers, and more importantly--very chill, no pressure.

Dialogue

This is tricky for everyone, and definitely exposes a writer's style and ability to speak in the voice of different characters (I think that's why writers stress about it). You gotta do it with accuracy and range, so it IS a challenge!

If you want to get as close to the characters' voices as Tolkien wrote them, then the obvious strategy seems to be to immerse yourself in the source material. Read the books. Watch the movies (which are pretty faithful, tone/dialogue wise).

When writing Tolkien fanfic, I am constantly browsing through my books (having ebook copies helps), playing the trilogies in the background, or listening to the audiobooks (I have the Andy Serkis versions). It's a little bit like method acting. If you drown yourself in the character's voices enough, you'll actually start talking like them in your head. You'll pick up on the language, the word choices, the pace of the dialogue within the story.

This is the reason I personally don't hop around fandoms (Tolkien only), and I stay away from modern AUs or crack fics. I prefer to preserve that Middle-earth tone and voice and keep it consistent in my writings.

You can also draw inspiration from other period/medieval/fantasy works! My frequent go-to's are ASOIAF/Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon, Pride and Prejudice, and even Downtown Abbey works!

This last one might be extra weird, but I am a writer who leans heavily on fancasts/actors for inspiration. I like seeing a clear face and hearing a distinct voice for the character I am writing. It truly helps me write dialogue. For this reason, I fancast every major character that appears in my fics, and I usually pick big-name actors. Why? Because they have more movies/tv shows I can watch and listen to!

Fun fact: While writing my Éomer fic (which was VERY dialogue heavy), I listened to the first 7 minutes of Dredd SO MANY TIMES over and over just to imbibe Karl Urban's voice--I'm surprised the Netflix app didn't crash.

Showing, not telling

Here's one thing to try: Use "said" or "said + adverb" more often than you think you should, instead of trying to force a substitute. Or don't use a speech verb at all. This will force you to get a bit more descriptive about the characters' specific condition or actions. (Example from my fic: “Anywhere. Far enough to take you away from all this--” Éomer swung out his free arm in a gesture as wild as the fervor in his eyes. “Away from everything that is confusing you.”)

Visualizing a clear picture in my head helps me with the showing, and writing descriptions. Besides daydreaming and staring off into space, watch cinematic masterpieces, and train yourself to use words to describe what you are seeing.

But personally, I think purple prose and lack of brevity is the bigger issue in many fanfics (including my own). We need to remember there's nothing wrong with being straightforward in our storytelling and descriptions, because it speeds up the story pace or at least gives it more variety.

Shaking off Rust

Nothing else to do but just do it, my friend! :)

Whenever I feel rusty or blah about my current projects, I just shuffle over to a different WIP, or if it's really bad--start a new one!

As long as you're getting words down and you're happy and satisfied, you're doing it right.

Lean on writing friends for help and inspiration. We are a community here, regardless of the whisperings that "fandom is dying". It will stay alive and thriving if we keep it so!

Anyway, that's my non-professional, semi-bogus advice regarding things that work for me! Hopefully you can find something in there that works for you too.

Thank you as always for your kind words, and I wish you the best of luck--and LOTS OF FUN--in your writing!

[rphelperblog]

Beth Revis Quote Rp Meme

A new york times best selling author who is most famous for her Across the Universe Trilogy- please feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

“I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one.”

“You never know. Something small and broken really can be powerful.”

“Is almost a good enough reason for fear ?”

“I will do anything to make her happy again, so I give her the stars.”

“A leader isn't someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give him strength to others so that they may have the strength to stand on their own.”

“Science can make a heart beat,but it can’t make it race.”

“Love without choice isn't love at all.”

“But there's a difference, isn't there? Between saying goodbye and death.”

“What if eternity is nothing more than me, alone, in the darkness?”

“When you wake up, your face will be dry. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t cry.”

“They'll never truly be able to comprehend how much was lost for their limitless sky.”

“We can fight, and we can disagree, but I'm never going to let you walk away from me thinking I don't love you.”

“If it's a matter of dying here or dying there, I think I'd like to at least see the world first.”

“Don't you see? Those monsters you've been so worried about. Not aliens. People. The monsters have always been people.”

“What matters right now is this: we're each of us standing here, together, alive, together.”

“It’s not selfish to be yourself and pursue your dreams.”

“I want her so much that it overrides everything else, every other thought in my head, every instinct, every restraint.”

“And I know what I told my father was true: let us taste the world, and we’ll do whatever it takes to shape it into our home.”

“This ship is built on secrets; it runs on secrets”

“So you’re sticking with me, and I’m sticking with you.”

“I’m sorry.’ The two most inadequate words in the English language.”

“A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people.”

And there is nothing between us but rain.

Then there is nothing between us at all.”

“Choice or no, my heart is his.”

“I would trade all the stars in the universe if I could just have him back again.”

“But i don't care. Because we can say them or not; it doesn't matter. What is in our heats is real whether we name it or let it exist only in darkness and silence.”

“Even when you're silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life.”

“Because I can think of no better way to meet a girl than to see her through the eyes of the story she loves best.”

“It's bad, being frozen, but it's better than waking up alone.”

“Who are the real monsters?”

“It wasn't that he called me a freak. It was the way he said it. Like he really meant it. Like he believed it.”

“He's the only stable thing in the swirling chaos.”

“And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.”

“This is the secret of the stars. In the end, we are alone. No matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you.”

“Well, sometimes home is a person.”

Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't.”

“My heart stutters—not why? or how?—those are not the important questions. The really important question is: by whom?”

“You gonna fight for something, you fight for something that you're willing to die for.”

“But of course these are scientists. Tell them to leave something alone, and all they want to do is poke it with a stick.”

“I've never seen the stars before.And I never knew they were so beautiful.”

“But, really, grief left a hole in you, and while you healed around the hole, you never didn't have it. A piece of you was gone. You couldn't heal something that wasn't there.”

“Maybe the secret of the stars has nothing to do with being alone.”

“But...If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise.

Let it end with hope.”

“It's not knowing that's killing me. Not knowing if there's a chance that something can change, not knowing if there's hope at all.”

“There is only him and me and this thing between us that I cannot name, not out loud, but that my heart knows is love.”

“I can think of no better way to meet a girl than to see her through the eyes of the story she loves best.”

“It is like a piece of my soul had been lost, empty, and it is now filled with the light of a million stars.”

“But death doesn't work like that. It doesn't care if someone loves you, doesn't want you to go. It just takes. It takes and it takes until eventually you have nothing left.”

“I want to take her into my arms and hold her tight. But at the same time, I know that is the exact opposite of what she wants. She wants to be free, and all I want is to hold her tight against me.”

“More than the sound of my own beating heart, I miss the sound of a ticking clock. Time passes. It must pass....”

“I feel alone.”

“I have the whole world now, but I don't have him.”

“Sometimes home is a person.”

“You could have valued our lives more than your secrets.”

“That is what a book is: a million little things, a thousand feelings, hundreds of experiences, all melted together and sculpted into a book-shaped vessel.”

“If we don't have that, what do we have to live for? Does it matter if it's a lie if it keeps us alive?”

“She was a good person. She didn’t deserve to die.”

“The sea is a dangerous place because it makes you believe in forever.”

“Memories always kill nightmares.”

“I cannot imagine a more perfect hell than being trapped inside my own mind.”

I don't mean i feel lonely; I mean i feel alone, the same way i feel the blanket resting on my body, or the feathers of my pillow under my head, or the tight string of my sleep pants twisted up around my waist. I feel alone as if it were an actual thing, seeping throughout this whole level like mist blanketing a field, reaching into all the hidden corners of my room and finding nothing living but me. It's a cold sort of feeling, this.”

“Sorry? Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. Every. Single. Thing. I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was.”

“Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own.”

“Old people die. It's what they do. “

“If I can only see him in madness, is it worth trying to hold onto sanity?”

“You must dedicate your whole life to this idea: you are the caretaker of every single person on this ship. They are your responsibility.

You can never show weakness in front of them: you are their strength.

You can never let them see you in despair: you are their hope.

You must always be everything to everyone on board.”

“This is the secret of the stars. In the end, we are alone no matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you. Maybe the secret of the stars has nothing to do with being alone.”

“You never know all of a person; you only know them in a specific moment of time.”

“Even though I know the rain is fake, it feels the same as real rain, and I desperately need that.”

“I can't be the kind of leader you want me to,I will never, ever be the kind of leader you want me to be. And I will be better because of it.”

[ninacarstairss]

hello cece my beautiful wonderful beloved soulmate <3

i hope you have been well and looking after yourself! i don’t want you overworking yourself 😭 but it has been two days since i have come back from my trip (i have been exhausted plus i had work and uni to catch up on) so now i am going to sit down and tell you about my trip!! please grab a cup of tea and a snack while you read :)

so i went to sydney again, and i had a much more enjoyable experience this time around. i think it was because i knew what i was getting into, and i stayed in the exact same place, so it was all familiar to me.

although i did try to use the public transport this time, instead of ubering everywhere, and the buses were so bad, but the trains were INCREDIBLE! they were double decker and the back support moved so you could have a single row or two rows of seats face each other??? SO COOL

anyways, me and my friend caught the train to the airport at 4am in the morning 😭😭😭 (and i finished work at 12am!!!!) to get our flight. once we landed in sydney, my friend wanted to get merch from the early presale stand outside the arena and we were outside in 30 degree heat FOR TWO HOURS, with our luggage. good news, my birthday is coming up and my friend didn’t know what to get me, so he bought half my merch 🤭 bad news, i’m ginger and i get sunburnt in two minutes, so think about two hours… the worst thing is we had an umbrella for sun protection, but my right arm and the back of my neck was out so they were FRIED. i’m currently peeling like a reptile but worth it

we got some food from maccas because we were dehydrated and getting heat stroke, and then checked into our room after we managed to get our stuff. we both ended up napping in the afternoon, which we were both surprised about, because i had my phone in my hand still attached to the charger next to my bed and he still had his genshin impact loaded up onto his ipad 😭😭😭

unfortunately the place i wanted to take him to for dinner, the really good japanese place from last time, was under renovation, so we had dinner elsewhere but we had such a good time the rest of our trip

because we went to see stray kids, a kpop group, we had a lot of activities we could indulge in. they had this thing called a cupsleeve event, where someone in the fandom designs a cupsleeve to represent a kpop idol’s birthday, group anniversary or in our case, coming to the city. and i got so many freebies! we went to this kpop store that doubled as a cafe and the drinks were so good! i bought way too much but i have to remind myself that i can’t get it at home 😔

we also went to the biggest bookstore i have ever seen in my life! it took up a whole floor of the shopping centre and it was brilliant. it had books upon books, categories after categories. they even had an entire chinese and japanese section! i also spent a lot of money there BUT my best find was the entire completed infernal devices manga trilogy!! it’s so beautiful and such a rare find, i grabbed it immediately. i couldn’t find the tmi graphic novels though, but they have them on their website, so i might order them in :)

alright, the main event! the concerts! so i went and saw the kpop group, stray kids, two nights in a row! it was amazing. i was and still am a huge fan of their work, but especially because they got me through a really hard time in my life and really were my serotonin while i was at school 😔 i wasn’t allowed to see them when they first came here four years ago (parents: maybe next year, they’ll come! *next year being 2020.*) so i feel like i finally made up for it.

me and my friend also matches outfits! we did black and green (the concert colours) on the first night, and red and white on the second (to match the stray kids colours). i wish i could send you photos, we looked so slay 🤩

i do not have one concert video without me screaming the lyrics (yeah the korean ones too!) in the back. but i don’t care, it was so fun, i had a blast. and it was even better because two of the members of stray kids were from sydney and they just made it feel more homely :) do not regret how much money i spent on them or the sleep i lost at all! i’m so glad i can slowly start to give myself the experiences i missed out on as a kid/teenager :’)

anyways, enough about me! how have you been? what have you been up to? how is simba? 🥺 i adore you so much and i am enclosing this letter with a warm hug <3333

hello nero my amazing perfect beloved soulmate <3

yay i’m so happy to finally hear about this trip!!! i just made myself a cup of tea and brought out some biscoff cream!!

how was the catching up part?? did you manage to catch up without exhausting yourself too much??

nero that’s so great!! i think that having a familiar surrounding is always helpful, and staying in the same place makes it all less scary somehow. i’m really happy it went much better!!

NO WAY THEY HAVE THOSE TRAINS THERE??? they look so cool!!! i’ve seen them on instagram once and i was so jealous of every city who had those trains!! you can literally choose if you want to sit alone or have company and that’s so cool!!! it’s basically a buildable environment!!! i’m getting way too excited about this lol

so you only had like three hours of sleep?? 😭😭😭😭 and you even had to stand in the heat for hours 😭😭😭 but yay!!! merch!!! that’s a really great birthday gift!!! (also when is your birthday??? only if you want to share of course <3)

anyway merch is so amazing and so expensive. this has got to be one of the best presents ever!!! even if it means you’re skinning like a reptile now lol at least it’s just two small spots instead of your whole self 😂 but i get the struggle. i’m not ginger but my skin is so light i always get sunburnt in 0.5 seconds too. definitely not fun, but worth it for some merch :D

that was probably a really fun situation to wake up to, but you both deserved a nap for catching a bus at 4am!!! especially since you had only a few hours of sleep after work!! at least you were rested enough to really enjoy the trip!!

oh no 😭😭 i’m still dreaming about that place!! i went to a my favorite japanese restaurant in my city a few days ago and i really wanted to try that beverage you told me about but i was driving so i couldn’t 😭 i hope this other restaurant was really good too though!!

no way!!! nero this is all way too cool!!! i’m so happy it was so fun and there were so many things to do!!! also this cupsleeves event sounds so cool!! i’m so happy nero, you’re making my day just by telling me about all these freebies and amazing drinks!! and you know i’m always gonna be the little devil on your shoulder telling you that spending money is good and you deserve all that amazing stuff :))

the tid manga trilogy??? how is that even possible omg you can’t find that anywhere!!!! i’m so jealous, i wanna live in this bookstore now 🥺 it’s got to be so amazing!! (you always find the best bookstores, i had no doubt there would be one in this letter too and i was so excited to read about it!!) and let me know if you do order the tmi graphic novels!! i’ve been trying to collect those too hehe

the fact that *next year* was 2020 is so painful. but you saw them two nights in a row!!! that’s amazing!! and it must have been so good to see them after so long, after they’d been by your side in a really tough time 🥹 i’m so happy you got to finally see them live!!

also, the matching outfits?? I LOVE THAT!!! i bet you looked so slay!!! that’s literally the best idea for what to wear to a concert!!!

nero i’m so so happy for you!!! you’ve made my whole day, i’m not even joking!! i’m so happy you’re finally getting to enjoy trips and concerts you couldn’t before!! and this one really sounded so perfect!!! also the videos with you screaming at the top of your lungs to every song are literally the best. i love it when i rewatch a video from a concert and i can hear myself screaming and crying and dying more than i can hear the band or the singer. it just makes me live all those memories and those amazing feelings again!!!

the money spent on this is totally worth it!!! and you can sleep now, uni can wait lol really nero i’m so happy this trip was so good!!! i’m so happy for you!!!

i’m good!! i got three days off from work this week so that was great, and i started to reread chain of iron so that i can reread chain of thorns right after :) i miss them so much already 🥲

anyway i just booked a trip for may, because a friend is coming to visit me and i’m gonna be off work for two weeks so i’m really looking forward to it and now i just wanna skip work and plan the itinerary 😂 and i want to book more trips too. which isn’t great because my bank account is already crying and begging me to stop buying stuff. did i tell you i got the illumicrate edition of chain of thorns with the alternative dust jackets? yeah so my bank account still hasn’t forgiven me for it :,)

simba is also doing really good, he’s eating a lot and sleeping a lot as usual 😌

also, ever since you told me about the rina sawayama concert, and because you always talked so much about her, i kinda started listening to her music a lot more and i’m obsessed with some songs now!!! i adore her style so thank you for this new obsession :>

i’m enclosing a warm hug for you too and a little bouquet of flowers <3

[mzannthropy]

Tell me why you dislike the Emily trilogy please because I'm rereading it!!

It's more of a difficult relationship, rather than disliking it; there are many parts that I like about Emily. Like, the majority of it is good. But it drives me CRAZY! It's the way LMM wrote, and the choices she made in the Emily series.

(Sorry if it's ranty and incoherent, it's the first time I've properly wrote down all my thoughts & feelings on Emily.)

So first of all, what the hell is it with all the preachy, patronising BS? This is not LMM's usual style, which is why it's so bewildering. The narrator frequently breaks the fourth wall to tell us how she's not there to defend Emily, but to merely chronicle her life and I want to say, I don't need you to defend Emily, Lucy Maud, I can make my own mind for myself, thank you! She doesn't do it in Anne (also a story of an orphan being taken in), and as far I can remember, she doesn't do it in any of her other writing. It reminds me of Little Women a lot. And from me that's not a compliment.

Then, I say it outright as it is: I loathe Aunt Elizabeth and Aunt Ruth and I think they're both child abusers. Aunt Ruth, especially, is a tyrant. She's a dictator. Her constantly calling Emily "sly" with no evidence and then after that incident with Perry and the kiss, when they hold a family court, she says "I would have believed you if you had told the truth", can you get any more textbook abuser? I have this thing when I cannot handle someone not being believed (also due to something that I went through), it triggers me, and a person (esp of authority) determined to disbelieve you and think the worst of you when it's just not true sends me to a rage. Aunt Elizabeth is a vile, cruel, narrow-minded woman, who should not be allowed near children. If the narrative ever condemned these women, it would be a much better reading experience. But it doesn't. Right to the very end, the last page, the second to last paragraph, when Emily and Teddy finally, FINALLY, find each other, Ruth still calls Emily sly. Worst of it is that Emily really doesn't do anything remotely wicked. She's essentially a good kid. What would these hags do if they saw today's teenagers?

"You are always writing yards of trash that nobody wants." Quote from Aunt Elizabeth. What a nice, loving aunt! Then they call Emily a Murray when it suits them--when she does something they disapprove of, it's "that Starr coming out in her". Or they say she's "half a Murray" and I'm like, everyone is unless both your parents were Murrays?

Abusive caregivers are no strangers to LMM works, ofc, but they're usually presented as villains and are not the "endgame" caregivers. (Take as an example, little Elizabeth from Windy Poplars.) That's why I like Jane of Lantern Hill, bc here LMM finally admits that an abusive narcissist is an abusive narcissist (the grandmother). And that was 1937, so you know, it took her time to realise that.

So, most of what I'm saying here relates to the second book. Emily of New Moon is not as infuriating and Quest I actually like, despite how it drags, bc it so perfectly depicts the consequences of Emily's choice at the end of Emily Climbs. And here I get to the crux of the matter--the ending of Emily Climbs.

So, Emily has graduated school, has some success with her writing, has had short stories published and at last meets someone who believes in her, who sees her talent as a writer. Janet Royal offers her a job and a place to stay in New York. An opportunity people would sell their literal souls for. And what does Emily do?

She refuses it bc she doesn't want to leave New Moon.

Once again, I repeat. Emily gets offered a job and free accommodation in fucking NEW YORK and she refuses it bc she doesn't want to leave New Moon, that fucking backwards, progress-denying, candle-burning, abuse-filled place in godsforsaken village on PEI.

How is this supposed to be a good storytelling choice??? And this is why I don't think the series will get adapted again. Not without some major changes. Bc I can't imagine how modern audience would react to a heroine rejecting an opportunity of a lifetime, an opportunity many young people today would commit literal CRIMES for--and for what? It's not even that she is doing it to get married and have kids (stupid choice still, but at least more understandable). The end of Climbs makes me so fucking mad, that story with the dog is so stupid and painful to read (YMMV). I want to cry, why, Lucy Maud, whyyyyyyyyyyy *cries unconsolably*

I think it's bc LMM wouldn't have been able to write--or at least she thought she wouldn't have been able to write--a story of a young upcoming female writer in NYC, bc that wasn't her type of story. But in that case, she should not have included that golden opportunity in Climbs at all. Bc why is it there? Emily could have just returned to New Moon after she finished her schooling.

The tragic, Watsonian interpretation is that Emily is merely experiencing effects of her childhood trauma. (If you want to look at it as a tragedy, then it makes it sort of more bearable, if only it was less patronising...)

When she informs Aunt Elizabeth of her decision, the woman's response is: "I thought a Murray would." I thought a Murray would. Not, I'm happy you're staying with us. That tells you everything you need to know.

And this is what's good about Emily's Quest. Bc here, Emily suffers the consequences of her moronic choice. Ilse, Teddy and Perry all leave to chase their fortunes. Imagine Emily left too. The NYC offer was a tad unrealistic, but, had LMM had better ideas, she could have made it a Toronto job instead. Or Halifax. Or just Charlottetown, ffs. Imagine her getting out of the New Moon environment, getting brand new experiences, seeing people not give a slightest fuck that she was a Murray of New Moon. Seeing how, out in the real world, little their majestic family clan matters. But she didn't. And that's why she had to go through what she went through in the last book. Bc she never meets any book/literary people, she puts so much stock in Dean and she believes everything he tells her. She believes him when he tells her that her book is no good, burns her manuscript and in anguish runs out of her room, trips over the sewing basket and----

So ummm, Dean. Of course he's a creep. But it makes sense to me that she's friends with him. She's a vulnerable child, he preys on her. I don't buy that he'd so happily to give her the deeds of the house as a wedding gift, but LMM wanted her happy ending and she never actually wrote Dean as the dangerous predator that he is.

When I read LMM biography The Gift of Wings by Mary Henley Rubio, I hoped I would find some answers to things that bother me about Emily--but there weren't any. So, *shrugs* I guess I never will know.

[chellyfishing]

ho ho holy shit it’s the end of the year and that means it’s time for you guessed it my reading year in review.

instead of “read more than last year” my goal this year was “read at least one non-fiction book” and not only did i do that, not only did i read FOUR of them, i still also read more than last year!

(btw i am on storygraph if any of you are also on storygraph)

in january i read that there uh locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. thinking that it was a trilogy and then finding out no i actually have to suffer like the peasants for the conclusion. anyway it was fine and definitely hasn’t taken up at least 40% of my brain at all times ever since. it’s a very normal series i had a normal reaction to and you should read it, it’ll be fine.

i also read volumes 7 and 8 of spy x family by endo tatsuya. 7 is around where the anime stops and i watched it at the end of last year so. i finally just picked up 9 and 10 but i’m saving them as treat for surviving to the new year. anyway it’s good. i generally avoid graphic formats because my brain is just not good at processing images properly, especially when it’s all in black and white, but this was pretty easy for me to read. it’s a good time, recommend.

in february i read witchlings by claribel ortega. this is a middle grade book so the depth and style aren’t exactly for me, but it was very very cute and fun, with a diverse and lovable cast, and i would definitely recommend this to kids age idk 7-ish to 12-ish. that genre of child. a good magical book series to read instead of. you know. i’d be interested to continue the series as well, i think especially if ortega has the books mature with the readership she could really have something special here.

confession i really like to listen to people tell me stories (horrorbabble my beloved) and since i finally got a new library card this year (two actually now!) i can just get audiobooks and listen to them whenever i want. so in april first i listened to we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson, which as you may or may not know is one of my favorite books of all time. i wanted to experience the story again and i didn’t want to just watch the film (it’s fine, honestly, it just lacks a lot of what i find really captivating about the book) so i put this on while i was doing other things. great book, great author, and i have no complaints whatsoever with the audiobook performance.

i also listened to james and the giant peach. this is my favorite roald dahl book and the audiobook is only about three hours. the narrator had incredible energy, exactly what you’d want from someone reading a children’s book.

in june i read the first nonfiction book, sex ed by ruby rare. this is a very accessible and inclusive book about… no. i shan’t say. everything is spoken about in frank terms and rare has a very personable voice and style. it’s also illustrated!

my next nonfiction book was in august, when i finally got to read i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. you probably don’t need me to tell you that this book is SO!! GOOD!! an incredible and important piece of art. jennette is so heartbreakingly honest and real here. i spent the whole book just wanting this child, then woman, to be okay. i am so happy she has turned the page on a new chapter in her life and has been able both to follow her real dreams of writing and gain some catharsis in the process. trigger warnings especially for abuse, including sexual abuse, including to a child, including by a parent, and eating disorders. she does not shy away from the ugliness of her experiences so please be prepared for that. it is very heavy at points.

after i finished that book i was just skimming through libby even though i already own [redacted] unread books and anyway on a whim i picked up a book called a door in the dark by scott reintgen. i decided to give it a shot because the main complaints were slow first half (that’s fine) and “unlikeable main character” (a woman with questionable morality). it was pretty good! the high point for me was the main character, in fact. i don’t really want to spoil anything so i won’t go into details but it definitely toys with your expectations in ways i appreciate. looking forward to more in the series!

i finished out august with they were here before us by eric larocca. this is only my second book by larocca (you’ve lost a lot of blood was my last book of 2022) but honestly i already knew i would read anything by them. this book is kind of a collection of short stories but they all have a theme that ties them together and are meant to be read in order. i love his prose, I love his weird imagination and imagery. this is exactly the kind of “unsettling and weird” that i will eat up. easily a new favorite author of mine. (their books are not for everyone, i hasten to add. they are very much for certain tastes. warnings in this book for some mild body horror as well as animal and child death.)

oh just kidding i forgot i read two books that day. the real last book i read in august was after they came by tom kavanagh. it is not a plot twist that this is a story about someone (a teenage girl specifically) living with paranoid schizophrenia, which i believe kavanagh also has. it’s clear this is a very personal story to him, and the horror comes not from the delusions or behavior this girl is having but from knowing she is trapped in them, scared and effectively alone. it’s very heartfelt.

in september i read a couple of shorter works. the first one was “undercover” by tamsyn muir, which is part of amazon’s “into shadow” series of short horror stories. being only about sixty pages this is nowhere near the ballpark of locked tomb’s twisting density but it still really draws you in. it’s a good time.

the other was the novella sour candy by kealan burke patrick. let me start off by saying! this is a grim one. there’s no real catharsis here. it’s just down, down, oh look we can go even further down. i guess it’s not my preferred type of horror, but it was still a good read.

in september i also read a full-length novel, sawkill girls by claire legrand. this is unfortunately my “worst book” of the year but even then it’s completely relative, most of the rest of my reading was bangers. i guess it’s not really what i was hoping it would be. it went places i thought were a bit… idk. i don’t want to say silly, exactly, but it didn’t quite work for me. i think that’s it really, it just wasn’t what i wanted, and what it was wasn’t really for me. important tho: there is sapphic rep and ace rep in here, asexuality in particular being addressed by name, so if you want more of those things, you could do a lot worse than this.

my third nonfiction read was in november and it was the woman in me by britney spears. i decided to crack this open and hopefully read it over the last couple days before my library hold ran out and i ended up devouring it in one sitting instead. like the other memoir on this list, this is a tough read. you will get angry, you will get furious, you will get sad. most people do not come out of this looking good at all and i am so glad brit and her ghostwriter decided to pull no punches. again check the trigger warnings, there’s a lot of abuse of a person with mental illness here, including forced institutionalization and of course the extremely unethical conservatorship. there’s also discussion of an abortion that was difficult and not especially wanted. i’m so so so so glad that she is free to live her life and speak her truth and i hope she gets to live happily with her boys and her man forever.

another book i read in one sitting was exit, pursued by a bear by ek johnston. i found this awhile back when i was looking for modern shakespeare retellings, specifically for one of a midsummer night’s dream, though as you can probably guess from the title this is actually inspired by the winter’s tale. so, there’s no getting around that this book is about sexual assault. it’s very blunt and frank about it, though the assault is not described, only the events leading up and the aftermath. weirdly, i would describe this as something of a slice of life more than a “message” book. this is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl getting on with her life after being drugged and raped. it’s primarily about her recovery especially through her relationships with friends, family, and others. it contains episodes of her triggers (the song that was playing just before she blacked out being a big one) but is primarily about her fighting desperately with everything she has not to let it dictate her life. warnings aside from sexual assault include discussions of forced pregnancy and abortion.

so, i’ve been wanting to read katzenjammer by francesca zappia for quite awhile now, but the price will not drop and the library down the street doesn’t have it. but then i got a card at another branch and voilà! let me warn you now that this is a sad book. it does not have a happy ending. i was warned it was sad going in and i was still not prepared to be absolutely gutted on a spit by it. i figured out what was going on about a fifth of the way from the end and just. cried from that point on. bawled my eyes out. might cry again now. so good, for the record, zappia has an undeniable way with prose and imagery, and there are sketched drawings throughout to shape her vision. i cannot give proper content warnings without dropping a major spoiler, so it will be up to you to decide how you need to approach this book if you want to. i will say that it is NOT sexual assault, though there is quite a bit of bullying that at points can feel a bit threatening in that regard, if that makes sense. i recommend it if idk you have tastes similar to mine (again, i did love it) and are willing to just be really fucking sad for a few hours.

i got a couple more library books in december. the first was my fourth and final nonfiction book of the year, another memoir, counting the cost, by jill duggar (dillard), her husband derick, and a credited professional writer, craig borlase. i have way too many words that i feel should be said about this book for one bullet point. i think it’s important to remember that jill and derick are still conservatives with some toxic and very harmful values, but jill has done incredible work deconstructing and derick has been a phenomenal husband to her. this book feels… unfinished though. it’s clear there’s still a lot that jill has not come to terms with. i hope that she can continue to grow and find peace. and i hope that others who are escaping fundamentalism can feel seen by this.

i took a break from my other library book (below) bc i just really wanted something i knew would be light and fun and easy to read, so i turned to ship wrecked by olivia dade. this is the third book in a series, the first two of which (spoiler alert and all the feels) i read last year. each one is about a couple with one (or two in this case) actors from a fictional show that is… i mean it’s game of thrones but make it greek myth. she doesn’t even try to hide it, it’s game of thrones. the thing that drew me to the series, aside from the fact that it just sounded like fun, is that all the main ladies (and in this case the man as well) are fat. as for this book, i think it’s probably my least favorite of the three. the fmc maria is pretty great but the mmc peter is easily my least favorite of the three male leads. dade doesn’t write toxic men, let me add, and all three books are dual pov so you really get to know both characters, but he just wasn’t it for me. i wish that the other characters got more screen time, especially since the books are not that short, but dade prefers to really dig into the psyches of her leads, unpacking their baggage and traumas to build healthy relationships, and i do appreciate that. downside is that there is not much diversity, other than her three ladies are each different kinds of fat (and don’t get me wrong, i love that and want to see more of it). this book has a lot of background queerness though so that was nice to see. i wonder if she intends to write a book about the wlw couple from the show, but i don’t know since afaik neither of those ladies are plus size. i’d read it, or really anything else she decides to do with this world.

the other library book i read from this batch was leech by hiron ennes. people describe this as a weird book but honestly if anything it could have been weirder. i went in without knowing a thing about it besides, like, taz blurbed it shut UP i doNOT HAVE a proBLEM. quick sketch this takes place in a very post-apocalyptic world and is about a doctor going to a remote isolated northern region during winter. yep, that’s all that it’s about. content warnings for body horror, both of the icky kind and the psychological kind, miscarriages, infant/child death, violence, and discussions of grooming and sexual abuse. it’s not really about those things (except the body horror) and when it comes up it’s generally less than a page at a time, but like. it’s all there and you should be careful. i would say it’s more about identity and autonomy and what it costs to break free. and body horror.

i read the burglar in the closet by lawrence block. i came across this book because one of my booktubers put it on his best of 2023 list and it sounded fun. and it was! it’s actually from 1978 and the second book in a series but i didn’t read the first book and was fine. there’s quite a bit of sexism but the amount and the framing of it didn’t make it impossible to enjoy this book. the narrator has such a strong voice and there are some genuine laughs to be had. plus, the ending surprised me! it was well-crafted! it’s a quick read and i’m pleased i took a little detour through it.

and the last book i’ll probably finish in 2023 (who knows!) is maeve fly by cj leede. i literally just now finished it and have to sit with it before i give it a proper rating and all that. there were times i wasn’t sure how i felt about this book. the narrator has such strong nlog edgelord energy but in her defense, she is literally a serial killer (i don’t think this is a spoiler tho it does take her a minute to say on page that she has killed). there are a lot of lines that had me rolling my eyes a bit, mostly because they were always the lines that were marked as frequently highlighted, like yeah, predictable. but there are also a lot of moments of genuinely beautiful prose, and a kind of macabre humor over it all. things really go off the rails in the last 20-25% or so but that was definitely my favorite part. technically i’ve seen this book classed as on the milder end of extreme horror, basically just be aware that there is a lot of very, very graphic violence. but the thing is, i read this book primarily as a metaphor, tho i’m not sure how much the author meant it as one. the ending makes me think perhaps she did. and honestly, framing it that way, maeve is actually… painfully relatable. why do i feel like i just got put on a watchlist somewhere. uhh, i could go on about it a lot, but you don’t care, you don’t intend to read this book. plus it’s more important that i mention that this book takes place in los angeles, except the parts that are in anaheim, because maeve plays princess E— at D— (never named but not at all obfuscated). the author does treat anaheim like it’s part of LA and i KNOW I KNOW it doesn’t matter TO YOU but the main thing i kept thinking was, wow i bet that commute is a bitch. i actually really liked the D— stuff because it’s all a bit inside baseball, employees and anaheim residents will capital K Know. there were also some really great descriptions of LA, and it just was nice to read someone put to words what the actual appeal of living around here is. it’s difficult to explain because people always come in with so many preconceived notions. as mandy moore put it, it’s a city of open doors. (lmao i just saw grady hendrix blurbed this as “anaheim psycho.” chef’s kiss.)

anyway i could easily finish something else if i set my mind to it but i kinda wanna maybe crack into something a bit longer. those last two were both under 300 pages, and even leech is not that much over it. or maybe i’ll just let myself disappear into bg3 until the new year.

[game-boy-pocket]

Nintendo Direct Thoughts

I just woke up and had a look, not expecting much given this is one of those "we're at the end of the Switch's life" Directs but honestly I was surprised.

We start with a brand new Mario and Luigi game... we've been getting lots of remakes for Mario RPGs but this is a new one and honestly was the one I expected to get a new game the least out of all of them. To tell the truth I would have preferred a continuation of SMRPG or a new traditional Paper Mario over this, cuz a party made up of just Mario and Luigi was novel when Luigi wasn't appearing in as many games but now it feels boring by comparison. I wish they would do more with the idea of adding on surprise guest party members, like how the 2nd game had the Baby Bros and the Third game had Bowser, then Paper Mario, but after that it just a weird version of Luigi? idk man. This looks neat, I'm glad the franchise isn't dead. I'll think about picking it up. Probably not a day 1 purchase. I do hope other Mario RPGs have a chance at continuing too though.

I still think the Nintendo World Championships is pointless.

Not interested in Fairy Tail, I only ever read a bit of the Manga, I'd like to check out the anime but lisenced anime games are a hard sell for me. Wish they'd just make another One Piece Grand Battle style game.

Don't care about Fantasian, Nintendo Switch Sports has a bad reputation and I don't care about sports anyway so that's a pass, pass on Mio, pass on Disney, pass on Hello Kitty, give me a sequel to the Keroppi platformer for the NES and then we'll talk, It's weird to see Loney Tunes in a video game. That Porky Pig voice was rough. I don't have hopes for it, Don't care about Among Us or Farmagia...

Donkey Kong Country Returns... not a new game, and they didn't announce any new playable characters or features aside from levels from the 3DS version, and I wish they gave DK and Diddy more of a facelift, but i'll take it, a way to play DKCR on the big screen, hopefully without the motion controls, is a win... but please Nintendo.... give us a new DK game...

Dragon Quest III 2DHD. I am very mixed about the whole 2D HD thing, I don't think it looks good. Never have. This looks a lot better than Octopath to me but I still don't like it. Also, I respectfully disagree with Mr. Horii. Playing the games in chronological order is not the best way to experience the Erdrick Trilogy, and that's a pretty dumb thing to say. That's like telling someone to read a Murder Mystery but start with the final chapter. The big twist in DQ3 will be meaningless to those who haven't played, at the very least, DQ1... I'm glad all 3 games are getting the treatment. I am a big fan of the trilogy so even though I don't care for the whole 2D HD thing, I'll pick it up, and who knows, maybe the style will grow on me.

Funko is a fucking joke. I'm ehh about Luigi's Mansion 2 but I might pick it up anyway if I have extra cash burning a hole in my pocket and I really want a new game. Don't care about Denpa Men, Would prefer Traditional Metal Slug, Don't care about Darkest Dungeon, Don't care about NSO but it's nice that those games are now available for people, Phantom Braves has a cute art style but i'm not interested in the gameplay, Marvsl and Capcom arcade collection might be worth a look but idk, I'm no good at fighting games, so i'd only be in it for the beat em ups.

I tried to like Mario Party but I just can't get into that style of game. I want to like it because I love the Mario series but it's just not fun for me, either with friends or going it alone, I hate board games irl, making them video games doesn't actually help, and I think the minigames are just not fun and over too quickly.

I wish I was excited about our first new 2D Zelda in a long time. But Link has always been...ugh... I guess you could call him a "comfort character" for me. I never liked Princess Zelda that much, and I enjoy the combat in Zelda games a lot, so a game without Link and without Combat.... I am apprehensive. The one thing that might save this game for me is that it has hints of monster taming. Not like... real monster taming, you're creating copies, so it's not like your bonding with monster companions, but it's still monster vs monster, and that's something I'd love to see expanded on. Give me a full on Zelda monster tamer.... I hope this isn't "The new direction for 2D Zelda" the way BOTW is for 3D Zelda though. I was kinda hoping 2D Zelda would keep traditional Zelda alive while 3D Zelda continued being open air.

More headlines, I don't care about just dance, never was a fan of legos, stray was interesting when it was first announced but the novelty wore off after watching ppl play it, there's a lot of games like lately. Don't care about the Hobbit, and i'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know I don't care about a lot of things and I know t he franchise has a lot of fans but I just don't care about Ace Attourney. And don't care about Hunted Line, looks edgy. I know SaGa has a legacy, but I'd prefer to try an older game before thinking about checking out a new one.

Metroid Prime 4 looks interesting. We have Sylux with some Metroids following him around. We have orchestral sounding music. It's definitely Metroid Prime alright. Can't wait to play it for myself.

Despite how often I said "don't care" I'd call this a good direct.

TLDR, Metroid is the most exciting thing there, I'm happy for the DKCR remake, I'm apprehensive about Zelda but I'm gonna try it. Mario and Luigi i'll probably pick up some day.

[bylightofdawn]

Today was a long day at work. My back is just...ruining my life at this point. I thought it got better after I stopped taking the new meds but no go. I cannot even explain how much agony I am in when I wake up in the morning. I cannot even sit up. I have to kinda roll over, swing my legs in hopes I can roll to the edge of the bed. I am worried I've actually slipped a disk or something. My GP has not called me back despite my calling them three times. Tomorrow I'm gonna get nasty on the phone and demand they send me a referral for an MRI because I think I need to explore getting some cortisone shots in my back or something. Or give me the referral I asked for PT. I cannot live like this.

My evening was improved by my brother sending over the cutest video from my six year old niece asking me which MLP was my favorite. So I sent her a reply back with my bright purple/pink hair clearly visible telling her I had not seen the new MLP and we'd have to watch it when she's here next month. Which....on one hand god help me, did I just sign up to watch MLP? But on the other, quality time with my niece so I'll take it.

Now, I find myself at an impasse. I could write, I'm in the middle of writing a very fun scene with lots of verbal sparring with Walon Vau. But I also kinda want to read but my reading history is in A B S O L U T E shambles.

I've been reading a lot of Grashir the past few days but I have a couple of D&D HAT fics written by some authors who I adore like Weatherlaw who have been posting WIP's I just haven't had a chance to read yet. On top of that I have like three or four COD fics I stopped midway through because of ADD. And now I'm teetering on the edge of falling down a FR rabbit hole. Cause there's new fics in the Notorious verse which I have not read.

I also kinda lowkey want to see one angsty Jarlaxle/Zak fic where they realize maybe two centuries of separation has changed Jarlaxle and he's not the person Zak used to know and maybe they're not suited to be lovers anymore and should they maybe start as friends. Meanwhile Artemis is totally not lowkey freaking out about this super important figure in Jarlaxle's past who has shown up out of nowhere and is potentially going to upset the delicate balance of their relationship.

BUT I HAVE NOT FOUND THIS FIC SO FAR AND I AM SAD.

Not because I want to see some divisive this pairing is superior to the other so much as people change and it gives you this bittersweet realization that when you see someone you haven't seen in a decade or two and you realize despite being best of friends or maybe something else in the past, you've both changed and you need to examine your relationship and come to terms with the ghosts of that previous relationship and whether you need to redefine it and give it a new meaning.

So any enterprising fic writer out there in the FR fandom, please take my bunny and give it a good home. I don't have the time or attention span for it. Or the brain power to read the most recent books. I still have the entire Generations trilogy sitting on my kindle which I haven't read so for all I know that's been addressed in some way, shape or form.

I thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiink I'm going to be good and write. I'm getting closer and closer to finishing Seeds.

I think I might actually do something super special when I finish this fucking fanfic because yanno what? I will have written essentially two full length novels or one god damned GRRM/Robert Jordan length novel by the time I finish this damned fanfic.

[ririsann]

hey, i saw ur reqs are open!! and i took the chance hsjsjdjajsjaj i rlly liked ur post where reader likes to dress like a guy. ur hc is rlly cute and ik that ure going to make another part for diff characters. make i req the same ask but with diff charac? i rlly want to read the same scenario but with sanzu, ran and kokonoi!! it's ok if ure still busy with other reqs, take ur time!! i rlly love ur works <33

「 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐚 」

the boys falling in love with a crossdresser.

𝐏𝐓 𝟏 ; 𝐏𝐓 𝟐 ; 𝐏𝐓 𝟑

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠... sanzu haruchiyo, haitani ran, kokonoi hajime x f!reader (separate)

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - sanzu is during the final arc (2008/kanto manjikai),  i dont know if sanzu has pink or bleach blond hair so i went w pink, both u and koko are adults please know that,

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - YALL FEEDIN ME SO WELL WOOOOO i love writing these so much i rushed to finish part 2 because i wanted to get to this <3 its basically the same thing so rn its a trilogy!! ill be continuing to write this in general bc i love it so much ALSO IVE BEEN LISTENING TO KILLSHOT (slowed + reverb) AND ITS SUCH A NICE VIBE !! i like tokyorev playlists theyre p good 

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐙𝐔 didn’t really care for love, or relationships, or friendships. he didn’t need connections as long as he had his “king” (mikey).

of course, he found interest in certain people he deemed good enough for his attention, like his former (backstabbing) captain, mucho, or even kokonoi when he was a part of touman. (the only reason he cared for kokonoi was because he was tasked to use him, but that’s really it).

he was cold, quiet, sharp, mysterious, and cutthroat. basically, an assassin almost.

when you think of a delinquent or gang activity, that’s not what you expect. so of course he would become interested in the person just like him, except somehow more mysterious.

as the second-in-command of the kanto manji gang, he was able to give you direct orders unless mikey said differently. honestly, he was kinda intimidated by you.

you were almost robotic-- following orders mechanically and showed very little to no emotion while doing anything. you didn’t even look like a boy or girl; you were just a person... maybe.

neither of you talked in general, and definitely not to each other. sanzu’s curiosity will stay that way as he always retreated back to himself while in your presence like you were the boss.

the only times he was able to hear your voice was when you responded to mikey’s orders while he was there. he only assumed that you were fairly young since you seemed so petite and had a higher voice. you also worked more with data and computing instead of doing the dirty work, so there was no reason for you to have muscle.

～　三途春千夜　～

“(y/n), i have a new mission for you.” currently, you were in some kind of weird alleyway with mikey and sanzu, who were basically your bosses. 

you hummed, telling the top of the kanto manji gang that you understood what he said. sometimes he wondered if you even knew how to speak.

“infiltrate brahman. that’s your mission. don’t get found out, don’t get killed.” he hands you a usb that you assume to transfer any information you got on the opposing gang.

“if anything happens, call for sanzu. he’ll always be nearby for you to find.” the pink-haired male almost looked surprised; like he wasn’t aware of this before either.

you nod, understanding your mission. not like you would be fighting either, but who knows what brahman would need? dataminer? you were here for it. someone to just be moral support? maybe not, but you had your ways.

your commander walks past you and out of the sketchy alleyway, leaving you and sanzu together and facing each other.

“i guess we’re partners now, huh.”

“yeah. just do your job and we’ll finish it quickly.” god, was that all he cared about?? just “finish the job” and then you’re gonna be done?? what were you supposed to even do in brahman???

“whatever.” he responded with a cold stare to your face, or rather, what was shown of your face due to the face mask hiding the bottom half of it.

“watch it,” he glares.

“i’m probably older than you anyway, kid. ‘m doin’ this because i work for mikey, not you.” you mumbled under your breath, and though he tried to overhear it, it was way too quiet to actually hear. especially with all of the nightclubs blasting music and cars racing by on the street just a few meters behind you.

“fuck you, anyway.”

but trust me, he didn’t mean those words at all.

he never would, and never could.

𝐑𝐀𝐍 appreciates the fact that you were quiet. rindou was annoying sometimes and he needed some alone time, though you were a little too quiet. sometimes less of quiet and more of distant.

he could never find a way to establish some sort of relationship with you unless it was on the battlefield where you were a genius. your eyes just seemed to say all of the words you needed to communicate and more.

at times, he found you boring. his sly and snarky comments would go without reply. his attempt at friendly flirting had made the mood of the room go stiff. the very occasional pun would be completely ignored. nothing to entertain him.

not only were you too quiet for his tastes, but you really only served the purpose of fighting with him and rindou, somehow being able to communicate a plan at the snapping of fingers just by glancing over to you.

an honourary haitani, they would call you-- and you would gladly accept it. i mean, who wouldn’t wanna be associated with the haitani brothers in the best way possible?

since the lack of verbal communication between you and anyone was testing his patience every day, ran decided upon himself to make it his personal goal to get you to say something to him. it didn’t matter what you said, it could literally just be a simple curse and he would be satisfied.

he’s tried everything. tickling? not even a flinch. saying some suggestive things in your ear while alone? a simple punch to the face stopped him. constantly bothering you? you bought noise-cancelling headphones and earplugs.

he was close to just giving up when he just realized something. why didn’t he straight up ask you? i mean, you usually complied to his wishes if you felt like they were reasonable.

“(y/n), why don’t you talk? like, at all.” he sinks into the couch next to you. in your hands was a shirt and a needle. you continued to stitch up a shirt that had some questionable holes in it.

“so you’re just gonna ignore me now?” you nod. why did you need to talk? you and the haitani brothers are more-or-less work relationship, according to you. yes, you’re ignoring the fact that you all live together in the same apartment.

“c’mon... why don’t you just say something..?” he drawls. “look, i’ll let you take my card and do whatever you want with it for a day if you say somethin’.”

ooh, how you loved to use all of ran’s money. yeah, you also had a lot of money but who likes using their own money while you could use others’? 

you smiled. “thanks for the money.”

ran’s head whipped around to look at you. that was not you who just spoke, right?? that light voice that whispered that??

“wait say that again.”

“thanks for the money..?”

he was. so... wow. such mixed feelings. he really thought that you were a dude for how many years you’d been working with him.

“maybe next time tell us that you’re a chick, hun.”

𝐊𝐎𝐊𝐎 saw you as his most reliable money-maker. his biggest commissions would involve you always, and you never disappointed. safe to say that you were his favourite.

the more the two of you worked with each other, the closer you became and soon you became friends instead of just work partners. personally, you would call him a homie. kiss him goodnight or something.

one of your favourite jobs from koko was when you were tasked with seducing some random old dude and killing him for money. it involved you “crossdressing”, though ironic how it was the opposite of what he thought. not that you told him.

the post was fun, but very disturbing. but he trusted that you could handle yourself enough that you would come out of it unscathed and bring him back the money you promised. he was basically your boss and this was your full-time job.

anything koko wished for, you did for the most part. and yeah, he would pay you a lot more than anyone else that would work for him as some sort of compensation for the emotional trauma he may or may not put you through.

～　九井一　～

“any specific job you want? i have a bunch of them here,” your boss explains, shoving a few papers in your general direction. you pick some of them up, examining the contents of the sheets.

you bobbed your head to the music in your earbuds as you continued to look through the many papers before making a decision. you tapped on his desk in front of him before pointing at the job you chose.

“an assassination request? that’s dangerous, (y/n).” you shrugged. you made money illegally anyway, what’s the difference between illegal money and illegal money? (the answer is that there was none in your eyes.)

“if you say so... just-- just be careful.” the man averts his eyes away from you. “you’re important to me and this business, you know? and it’s far away, so i can’t call for any back up for you unless it’s a few days in advanced.”

you nod, knowing all of the potential dangers of every job and what you’re expected to do and what you’re position is. you risk your life in every job you accept, and you’re the most important person when it comes to koko and his business in making his dirty money.

and just a few hours before you left for your flight, you met up with koko for the last time for who-knows-how-long.

“i’ll miss you, (y/n). be safe.” you shot him a grin from inside your chauffeur’s car. yes, you had your own chauffeur. 

you motioned your hand for your boss to come closer to you as you pull down your mask. he turns his head to have his ear right in front of your lips, with only a small distance between the two of you.

“i’ll miss you too, koko,” you whisper into his ear. it had been the first time he had heard your voice, so his entire shot backwards from the amount of shock he needed to start to process.

you pull your mask up again, signaling your driver to start driving off as you waved your goodbye to the man who was now in the distance on the sidewalk.

“i’ll see you soon.”

[write-like-wright]

Should you date them: Ace Attorney rival prosecutor edition

Miles Edgeworth:

depends on what Edgeworth we're talking about

absolutely do NOT date Bratworth

disrespects women

doesn't realise short people have feelings

wears that gaudy af jacket

doesn't want to date you anyways, is in a committed relationship with the law, baby

original trilogy Edgeworth is a bit harder to gauge

very emotionally constipated

generally awkward to be around

expect many unintentional staring contests

simultaneously cocky and insecure

this is the kind of a relationship you enter thinking you can "fix" him

spoiler: you can't

his fashion sense is getting better though

gotta be really buff if he walks up all those stairs to his office

you'd have to compete with a ton of other women and who wants to deal with Wendy Oldbag? scary stuff

he's probably still not all that interested in dating but is also starting to warm up to general human contact lmao

attempt to date at your own risk, though I'd advise against it (maybe casually drop hints you're a Steel Samurai fan? idk)

Chief prosecutor Edgeworth though? HELL YES, BABEY

that man has matured and gotten himself some therapy

can actually recognize human emotions!!

that new coat and the glasses?? mwah chef's kiss

a (childless) DILF

less subtle in his weebdom and who doesn't love a confident man

has lots of cool friends who'd like you

still a bit aloof so have patience

but hell yes, date, hell MARRY him idc

Franziska von Karma

Franzy is a baby but won't ever admit it

somehow even more emotionally constipated than her "little" brother

do you like strong, mean women? me too, bro

if someone is mean to you she will wreck them

absolutely walks up to the counter at McDonald's like "excuse me, you fool, they asked for no pickles"

needs gentle reminders to be polite to people

would call you by your full name all the time and it's probably more than a little weird

boy do I have good news for you if you're into BDSM

pretends not to care - cares a lot

date but also, like, go to couples counselling for a bit

Diego Armando/Godot

Diego is hot and he knows it

very, VERY cocky

like, kind of a douche but his heart is generally in the right place

tries to be macho

expect lots and lots of coffee dates... like, five a day lol

would always have coffee ready for you in the morning... afternoon... evening... 3 am... whenever you'd like it, basically

calls you kitten

calls everyone kitten though

calls Edgeworth kitten kinda hot ngl

probably kinda overprotective

very supportive, though

a bit of a himbo

probably never sleeps

date if you like hot douchey guys basically

Godot really is the ungodly cool guy with a mask

daft punk enthusiast

has many, many weird rules

more douchey than ever

would kill for you

ngl he kinda creeps me out, I wouldn't recommend it

Klavier Gavin

yes, you should date Klavier

not even a question

a literal rock star

such a nice boy

kinda questionable fashion, but he makes it work somehow

eurotrash

be ready to deal with the fangirls

would be worth it in the end

hot af

would write songs for/about you

he's probably the smoothest bitch alive

would take you on trips all the time

he's loaded, expect fancy gifts

probably spends too much time on Instagram, tho

Simon Blackquill

baby Blackquill is 100% boyfriend material

what a nice young man

weeb deep respect for the Japanese culture

honorable intentions

would treat you so well

breaks up with you without an explanation one day and disappears for like, 10 years

AA5 and onwards Blackquill is... an interesting one

listens almost exclusively to traditional Japanese music and My Chemical Romance

probably has a hard time adjusting to life outside

needs lots and lots of therapy

kinda scary at times

would probably need discipline and rules in his day to day life after everything

like, set his bedtime or something

can be a jerk and tease you affectionately

can also be a jerk in general, please tell him off, he's scaring the wendy's drive-through employee

go bird watching with him

I would date him but I understand why you wouldn't

he's hot

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

gorgeous, dahling

a literal disney prince

tries to impress you with his knowledge of your culture and it's both endearing and embarrassing

what's crackalackin homies = how do you do fellow kids

massive foodie

kinda ranty tho

can go for 8 hours straight

unfortunately, i'm talking about sermons

can be pretty insensitive at times

spends a lot of time with his partnered detective, kinda sus

at the very least date him to steal his haircare products

Barok van Zieks

what a scandalous man

have you seen those curves

more breast and thigh than a bucket of kfc

built like an avenger

very hot

probably unaware of it, though

what are emotions

family man

spends too much on "wine"

you suspect he may be a vampire

incredibly meticulous

condescending

openly racist

like, date him after years of therapy and several racial/cultural sensitivity workshops or something

in the meantime flash him your ankle to test the waters if you're feeling extra saucy

Bonus: Kazuma Asogi

*smacks him* this bad boy can fit so much emotional trauma inside

literally good at everything

stumbles over his words at times, though

hypes you up so much for the lamest of reasons

confident boy

so hot-headed

goes from 0 to 100 and back in a matter of seconds

very honorable

do NOT doubt his ability to get you off or he'll make you choke on it

cute laugh

if you say you wouldn't date him you're lying to yourself and even worse you're lying to me i'm so sorry for looking at your boyfriend ryuu

[crimeronan]

Ok so I’m into the dreamer trilogy and haven’t read the Raven cycle...what is Declan’s characterisation/journey there?

THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST ASK I’VE EVER RECEIVED. IMAGINE I’M STANDING WITH MY ARMS SPREAD USING DIFFERENT VOICES AND HAND GESTURES TO REENACT THIS STORY FOR A RESENTFUL CAPTIVE AUDIENCE

also declan’s TRC storyline is like. equal parts horribly fucking sad and unbelievably fucking hilarious so. i will try to strike a Balance

FIRST OFF.  there is exactly one (1) declan POV chapter in the entire series. it happens toward the end of the last book. up until then, everything we know about him comes from the observations and narration of others.

he is also a very minor character.  his importance grows throughout the series, but almost all of his actions happen offscreen.  it’s not until the last book that we know exactly how much he’s been dealing with the whole time.

when he’s introduced in the first book, he appears as a plot device.  here is a two-dimensional horrible controlling hardass who doesn’t give a shit about anything but his future political career.  look at his fake, smug fucking grin.  how did someone like ronan end up with a brother like him??  doesn’t matter.  it’s a convenient excuse for ronan to live with his best friend in a drafty warehouse, which means more room for YA hijinks!

declan’s introduction scene is Embroiled in Capital-D Douchebaggery. according to the narration (from gansey and adam), he loves to fuck women and then never call them back, cozy up to powerful people, and bitch about how ronan’s ruining his life by being sad about their dead parents.  SOME people can just get over their dead parents, ronan!

this intro scene is also Extremely Funny i 100% recommend reading it even if u don’t read the actual series.  ronan makes a nasty comment, declan goes “why are you the way that you are” and tries to salvage his date, gansey utters the phrase “man whore”

then later that night things go like. actually bad.

declan shows up at the same pizza place where ronan is with his friends.  this scene is gansey pov.  gansey runs out to the parking lot to find the two of them Very Literally Trying To Kill Each Other.  you don’t see that violence in cdth - there’s only the TINIEST shadow of it when declan confronts ronan over matthew - so i Cannot Express Enough that someone is going to end up hospitalized at BEST. ronan’s already slammed declan’s head on the car, declan’s already grabbed ronan and beaten the shit out of his face, like.

you do not get good old-fashioned Declan Lynch At His Actual Worst in cdth. u might be thinking, THAT guy???? doing THIS????

oh yeah. things are real bad between declan and ronan.

after gansey breaks up the fight (and gets punched in the face for his trouble, albeit accidentally), declan tells ronan that their dad would be fucking ashamed to see him now & that he’s washing his hands of it & basically if ronan wants to go off and fucking die, he can.

this is like. just a couple months after the magical suicide attempt referenced in cdth

in the aftermath of that scene it becomes clear that ronan absolutely unequivocally 100% will kill himself if he has to live with declan. hence. why he’s living with gansey instead.  gansey spends that whole night petrified that the declan altercation will lead to another attempt, and for Good Reason

so like, that’s how we first meet declan. he’s an uncaring wannabe corporate asshole who does not give a fuck and who only exists to exacerbate ronan’s mental health issues.

but then the opening of book 2 gets real interesting.

book 2 is where we start learning more about the lynch family.  we learn that ronan’s father was a dreamer who sold his creations on the black market, we learn that that’s why he was murdered. we learn that ronan’s a dreamer too. we learn that there are very powerful people looking for the greywaren, an artifact that takes objects from dreams. those powerful people just don’t realize it’s a person, yet.

so here’s the assassin who killed niall lynch.

he goes to declan’s dorm.

with everything we know about declan, the kid should be completely unprepared.  he can box, but the assassin knows that, so there’s no real advantage.  he’s alone, and he doesn’t have an escape route.

declan pulls out a gun.

this is an unexpected turn of events.

unfortunately he ends up getting beaten half to death with the butt of said gun, because he loses the ensuing physical struggle for the weapon.  the assassin is like, i need the greywaren.  declan is like, i know it exists but i don’t know what it is.  i’ll find it for you.  i’ll get it to you.  then you’ll leave me the fuck alone

now with everything we know of declan at this point - his attitude toward ronan, his general demeanor, and this new knowledge that he knew about the black market - there’s one obvious question.

will declan sell ronan out if he finds out about the dreaming.

and like, okay. their relationship is antagonistic in cdth but it is NOT what it is in trc. believe me when i tell you that at that point, when you’re reading, you can pretty reasonably go, “oh, god.  oh god.  oh god please no one ever tell declan what the greywaren is.  oh god.”

declan has some other interactions with ronan and the gang throughout the book, mostly where he’s just a hardass who tells ronan to stop causing trouble.  adam’s the only one who notices that declan is scared.  like bone-deep shaking to the core petrified.  about Something.

probably getting beaten to within an inch of his life by the man who murdered his father.  that’s the reasonable reader conclusion.

so imagine how everything changes when you find out that declan already knows.  that declan’s known about ronan’s dreaming for longer than ronan has.  that declan knew exactly what and who the greywaren was, and he lied to a man who was ready to torture him for information, and he got away with it.

suddenly a lot of things recontextualize.

“keep your head down and stop making trouble”? people are gonna NOTICE your magic bullshit, ronan, we do not have time for this!

“stop hanging with that loser druggie friend of yours”? you mean the loser druggie friend who sells on the magic black market and doesn’t care about protecting himself or anyone else?

“i got super weird for no reason about ronan sleeping close to adam”? i don’t have fucking TIME to be homophobic i’m busy with your POTENTIAL TO MANIFEST NIGHT TERRORS IN FRONT OF WITNESSES IN BROAD DAYLIGHT

“i’ll find out what the greywaren is and bring it to you”? i’ll die. i’m making a bargain to die. i’m never giving you the greywaren and i know you’re going to kill me about it and that’s fine as long as my brothers are safe

ronan doesn’t know that he dreamed matthew.  declan knows.  he’s known the whole time.  declan tells ronan in book 3.  and then things recontextualize even further, because ronan’s death is also matthew’s, and matthew IS close to declan in trc.

but declan never tells the goddamn truth unless it’s his last option.  he doesn’t tell ronan that he knows about the dreaming and he doesn’t tell ronan what specifically wants to hurt him and the lack of communication fucking destroys both of them.

in the last book, ronan realizes declan loves him.

more than that, he realizes declan’s loved him the whole time.

this is when declan finally tells the truth.  things are getting bad, plot-wise, and declan is scared, so he comes clean.  he tells ronan that niall specifically tasked declan with protecting ronan from the market.  he begs ronan to run from the danger.  “let’s pour gasoline on everything dad left and start over.”

this is also when ronan realizes that declan’s childhood was very different from ronan’s own.  and that niall and aurora lynch were not the same people to declan that they were to ronan.  and that their father’s decisions are what’s driven the wedge between him and declan all this time

(he’s still struggling with the cognitive dissonance of this in cdth. i don’t think he knows how to adjust his perception of declan to fit this new information.)

aaaaand the final scene with declan makes me cry every time i read it so instead of summarizing, here’s the important part:

Ronan delivered a sharp tap to the object, and a small cloud of fiery orbs sprayed up with a sparkling hiss.

“Jesus, Ronan!” Declan jerked his chin away.

“Please. Did you think I’d blow your face off?”

He demonstrated it again, that quick tap, that burst of brilliant orbs. He tipped it into Declan’s hand, and before Declan could say anything, jabbed it to activate it once more.

Orbs gasped up into the air. For a moment, he saw how his brother was caught inside them, watching them soar furiously around his face, each gold sun firing gold and white, and when he saw the spacious longing in Declan’s face, he realized how much Declan had missed by growing up neither dreamer nor dreamt. This had never been his home. The Lynches had never tried to make it Declan’s home.

“Declan?” Ronan asked.

Declan’s face cleared. “This is the most useful thing you’ve ever dreamt. You should name it.”

“I have. ORBMASTER. All caps.”

“Technically you’re the orbmaster though, right? And that’s just an orb.”

“Anyone who holds it becomes an ORBMASTER. You’re an ORBMASTER right now. There, keep it, put it in your pocket. D.C. ORBMASTER.”

Declan reached out and scuffed Ronan’s shaved head. “You’re such a little asshole.”

The last time they’d stood on this roof together, their parents had both been alive, and the cattle in these fields had been slowly grazing, and the world had been a smaller place. That time was gone, but for once, it was all right.

The brothers both looked back over the place that had made them, and then they climbed down from the roof together.

[strawberrystar7]

I think People misunderstood Chloé's arc and the season 3 finale (and especially Chloé's role in it.). And here is why I think that.

This is a really long post and I know it's hard to keep reading something as long as this but please, I ask you, either do not read it at all if you don't want to read something like this or read it completely. If you do decide to read this but stop in the middle because you want to comment on something I ask you to not do that. Please read all of it thoroughly. If you want to comment on something, take notes but don't post it before having read all, because if you do not read all you probably won't understand it correctly. Additionally, some things might have been answered later on in the post.

I think the true lesson the writers wanted to give with Chloé's arc and especially the Season 3 finale is that it's good to be forgiving and give second or maybe even 3rd chances but you shouldn't try and help someone who doesn't want to change. There was a time where she maybe wanted to change... I put the maybe there on purpose. This is because if I look at Chloé's behavior it isn't entirely clear if she ever wanted to change because she wants to help others or if she just wanted to "change" so she can have the Bee Miraculous.

Chloé's arc in actuality was a treason arc. It wasn't a redemption arc. On the surface it may have looked like one but if you look deeper I think you'll see the signs.

I know I am gonna get hate for saying the next bit but if you look closely (and I mean very closely) at Chloé's actions then you'll see what I mean. In season 1 Chloe was a stereotypical bully. In season 2 she actually got a backstory, explaining her actions. It basically made her look more like a real person. But even so her actions didn't really change. She stayed a bully. On surface level her actions did change a little, but on a lower level they didn't.

What do I mean with that? Take Despair Bear as an example she threw a party and invitated all her classmates. In itself that's a nice action but do you remember the reason why she threw the party? Adrien threatened to break up their friendship if she wasn't nicer to people. So her Butler Jean gave her the idea with the party and that she should be nice. 

Yeah, I know this happened before the Queen's Battle trilogy (I know it's actually just a 2 part episode (Style Queen and Queen Wasp) but I count Malediktator as a 3rd part because it pretty much is a direct follow up to Queen Wasp.) but this is supposed to serve as an example for Chloé's behavior in season 2.

Now look at Zombizou. Chloé gave Miss Bustier a present the day after her birthday. Do you remember why this happened? Marinette called Chloé out for not having brought one and pretty much embarrassed her infront of the class (I know the way she called her out was mean but that's not the point here). In the end Chloé most likely would never have brought a gift if this didn't happen.

I think this Episode also came before the Queens Battle trilogy but I'm not sure. Anyway even if it was before, it still shows how Chloé behaves most of the time when she does good things.

Now let's look at the Queen's Battle trilogy. In the Style Queen episode we see for the first time how Audrey treats Chloé and while it does explain why Chloé does what she does it doesn't mean her actions are excusable. It makes her actions understandable to the viewers and it makes her, as already mentioned, look more like an actual human being. In that episode we do not really see any more about Chloé and her past or actions besides her finding the Box with the Bee Miraculous.

After that Queen Wasp follows. In this episode the first scene where Chloe plays a rather major role is the scene with Gabriel Agreste, Audrey Bourgeois, André Bourgeois, Tom Dupain, Sabine Cheng, Adrien Agreste, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and of course Chloé Bourgeois. In this scene we see Audrey taking Marinette's feather hat after it rolls infront of her. She inspects it and remarks that it isn't Gabriel's. She then asks if Marinette is responsible for the hat, which Marinette replies to with her having created the hat. You know the rest Gabriel admits she won a fashion contest, Audrey remarks the hat is "exceptional", and then she asks Marinette if she wants to go to New York. That is where Chloé comes in, claiming to never having been in New York. She also asked why she was taking Marinette. Audrey replies with Marinette being "exceptional". Chloé then says that she's "exceptional" too. Audrey then says the following "The only exeptionial thing about you, my dear... is your mother.". I think you know the rest André tries to step in but is interrupted by Chloé who transforms into Queen Bee infront of everyone to proof that she is exceptional.

This wasn't simply to prove her mother wrong tho. She did it to prove to everyone that she's exceptional and her behaviors later on that episode prove that exact point. Queen Bee then disappears.

The others go home and Queen Bee looks around the city to see if there's anything she can do but doesn't find anyone who needs saving. She then thinks of that plan with the train and calls Nadja Chamak to gain publicity for her heroic deeds. As already mentioned this pretty much proves my point. If she really jzst wanted to prove Audrey wrong then why call in one of Paris's star reporters?

After the call she heads towards the metro. She runs on the side of the metro and enters the driver's room. She then Calls out her venom and numbs the driver. The metro speeds up and Queen Bee turns on the metro TV saying she'll save them (this pretty much was to gain even more publicity). Queen Bee isn't able to stop the metro and Ladybug and Cat Noir come in to help stop the metro. Ladybug calls Chloé out for numbing the train driver and Nadja Chamak comes with Audrey Bourgeois on a live call. Audrey then says the following "What? Regarding my daughter's ineptitude? I think it speaks for itself, doesn't it?". Ladybug asks Chloé to give the Miraculous back but Chloé keeps it and runs away with it. Queen Bee then gets akumatized before she transforms back causing her to turn in Queen Wasp. I don't think it's important to mention what happened while she was Queen Wasp because in this case she wasn't willingly akumatized just like Antibug which also means she wasn't herself unlike Chameleon and Miracle Queen who both were willingly akumatized and both kinda knew what happened while they were akumatized.).

When she gets deakumatized Marinette later comes in and tries to help fix Chloé's and Audrey's relationship (atleast as much as it can be fixed) by pretty much insulting both of them and saying "You're also wrong about your daughter not being exceptional. In fact, Chloé is exceptionally mean. She's the worst person I've ever met. She may be more heinous, pompous and selfish than you. Compared to both of you, even a rock seems more capable of love.". Chloé and Audrey then pretty much shout at the same time "How dare you⁈". They then see they do have a lot in common. The episode then pretty much ends after 2 more short scenes (both scenes do not have anything to do with Chloé so I don't think they are important.).

Now let's look at Malediktator. The episode starts with Chloé's documentary about Queen Bee where Chloé-Bee and Chloé-Bug (I'm gonna call her that because that's Chloé with a Queen Bee costume and Chloé with a Ladybug costume) talk about how great of a superhero Queen Bee is. Then it zooms out to reveal that the documentary is watched by Chloé's classmates.

Ivan then points out that isn't Ladybug. Chloé says it is Ladybug and Miss Bustier asks why Chloé did the assignment about herself.

Chloé then says they were supposed to choose an important person in French history. Chloé-Bug talks more about Queen Bee. Alya then points out that's Chloé with a Ladybug costume. This discussion goes on for a bit until Chloé leaves.

Chloé and Audrey then storm in to André's office while a pair is getting married. They force them out and Audrey tells André to close the school while Chloé tells him to ban Marinette and her family.

Audrey then says the following "That monster hurt your little girl’s feelings.". Chloé adds "She got the whole class to gang up on me. They all have to pay.". You probably know the rest. André says he can't do that and Chloé and Audrey leave him alone in his office and say they'll leave for New York. Chloé is then in the Bourgeois suite packing (or more like telling her Butler to pack for her.) André comes in to argue with Chloé and Audrey to stay in Versailles or near Paris.

Hawk Moth akumatizes André after Audrey and Chloé leave with the helicopter.

Chloé flies over the school with her helicopter, throwing flyers showing Chloé in front of the statue of liberty and saying she'll leave for New York. The students celebrate after Chloé leaves.

Malediktator stops the helicopter and says he has the power to close the school and banish the students who were mean to her. He then commands Audrey to be devoted to him and stay in Paris. Chloé runs away/hides. Some time passes and Ladybug goes to Chloé asking her why Malediktator is mad.

Chloé doesn't want to say at first and blames Marinette, then saying André got mad all by himself but then she admits to being the cause of her fathers akumatization.

Then this happens:

Ladybug: Because of what happened in school? I'm sure Marinette probably didn't exactly mean what she said.

Chloé: Oh, it's not just her— actually, I don't even care about her— it's because I have no reason to be here: nobody likes me; I have no friends. I'm… useless.

Ladybug: (remembering what Adrien told Marinette earlier at school about Chloé) A friend once told me: nobody is useless, Chloé.

Chloé: It's easy for you to say that. You're Ladybug, a superhero. You serve a purpose.

Ladybug: Yes, I can fix up all the messes. You said it yourself in your documentary.

Chloé: (gasps) You saw it?!

Ladybug: (nods) Mm-hmm.

Chloé: Oh! I'm so embarrassed. That film's ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I realize that now.

Ladybug: Don't worry Chloé. You can fix your own messes, if that's what you want. You, too, can serve a purpose, but you have to want to.

Chloé: (sniffles) I do want to.

Ladybug: Chloé Bourgeois, (holds out the Miraculous box) here is the Bee Miraculous, which grants you the power to immobilize your opponent. You will use it for the greater good.

(Chloé hesitates; Ladybug nods approvingly; Chloé takes the box and opens it; a yellow ball of light flies around her and Pollen appears.)

Pollen: At your service, my Queen.

Ladybug: Once the job is complete, you will return the Miraculous to me. Can I trust you, Chloé?

Chloé: (puts the haircomb in her hair) I won't disappoint you this time, Ladybug.

Then Chloé transforms into Queen Bee.

Queen Bee and Ladybug (with the help of Cat!Cat Noir) defeat Malediktator.

Then this happens:

Ladybug: Yep, you missed Queen Bee and Ladybug saving Paris, for real this time.

Queen Bee: I understand, Ladybug. Buzz off. (transforms back into Chloé)

Chloé: (gives back her Miraculous) Being a superhero isn't only about fixing messes. (Ladybug holds up her hand in a fist; Chloé gasps and smiles)

Chloé and Ladybug: (fist-bump) Pound it!

After that Chloé and her family leave.

Then this happens:

Chloé: It's okay, Jean-Yves; I'll take care of it.

Butler Jean: Mademoiselle, are you sure?

Chloé: Yes, I need to do it myself.

Marinette: Chloé?

Chloé: (gasps) Dupain-Cheng?

After that Marinette brings Chloé to the school showing her they threw a party for her. That's pretty much how the episode ends.

I guess this is the episode (Malediktator) that convinced everyone Chloé was changing (and maybe at this point in time she truly did want to change. But I'll explain later on in the text why it did not work out.). After all it literally showed scenes where Chloé was nice without her benefitting from it. And honestly the earlier episodes did not show that Chloé was going to change. The earlier episodes gave depth to her character and kinda explained her actions but they didn't really make her look like she wanted to change. The end of the Malediktator episode tho? It did look like she wanted to change or atleast it made it seem like that. But as I implied Chloé's arc is way more complicated than you think. It can't be just written of as bad or inconsistent writing. Read more and you'll see exactly why this isn't just inconsistent/bad writing.

I don't think we saw much of Chloé in the season 2 finale besides her appearance as Queen Bee again. But honestly I do not remember much about the season 2 finale anyway.

Now let's look at season 3. (I just remembered I forgot about Animaestro. I forgot where in the season that happened but I just put it in the beginning because I feel like it would ruin the flow of the text.) In Animaestro Chloé literally teams up with Marinette to ruin Kagami's day (This was just to show that Chloé still did stuff like in season 1). Anyway, not only is it pretty clear that Chloé would love to be Queen Bee again but she also probably would do anything to be Queen Bee again. So she constantly asks for her Miraculous (seen in Startrain and other episodes) or she pretty much shows everyone how proud she is of being Queen Bee, seeking attention for that (Maledikator). In Miraculer Chloé waits to get her Miraculous but doesn't get it. Then Lila tells Chloé about a fake dance which summons Ladybug. Chloé gets really angry when the dance failed and then lashes out at Sabrina telling her she doesn't want to play with her. Chloé then breaks down after not getting the Miraculous for some time, resulting into the scene where Chloé resists getting akumatized. Instead, Sabrina is the one getting akumatized. Some time later a cataclysmed Cat Noir tries to give Chloé the Miraculous but because of his cataclysmed rips he ends up loosing the Miraculous to Mayura.

You probably know the rest. Rena Rouge makes a Chloé illusion in Ladybug's place, Ladybug gets her powers back, Chloé makes Miraculer even angrier, Ladybug (with the help of Cat Noir, Rena Rouge, Carapace) gets the Bee Miraculous back and gives it to Chloé. Chloé follows Mayura but looses her. After the fight Ladybug talks to Chloé.

This happens:

Queen Bee: Ladybug. Mayura got away from me. I'm sorry, utterly sorry.

Ladybug: That's okay, Queen Bee. We'll get her next time. (reaches hand out for the Bee Miraculous)

Queen Bee: If you'd given it to me earlier, we'd probably would've defeated Hawk Moth.

Ladybug: I'm sorry, Chloé. I should've told you this a long time ago. I might never be able to let you be Queen Bee again.

Queen Bee: What? But I did everything you asked me to.

Ladybug: I know. But this is for your own safety. It's too dangerous for you and your loved ones because Hawk Moth knows that you're Queen Bee.

Queen Bee: Buzz off. (turns back into Chloé and gives Miraculous to Ladybug)

Chloé: I understand. But I'm sure that you'll need me again, Ladybug. I know that I'll be Queen Bee again someday. I will always be Queen Bee.

Ladybug: (notices her Miraculous beeping) Thank you, Chloé. Let's go. (takes off with Rena Rouge and Carapace)

Despite saying that Chloé said she understood she can't have the Miraculous anymore she did not understand.

I know one of the arguments people have was that if Ladybug stayed longer to explain more thoroughly Chloé would have understood. But what do you want Ladybug to do? Risk her identity? She was on her last 5 minutes. Probably less considering how a couple minutes probably flew by from the moment she called out her lucky charm to the moment she called out Miraculous Ladybug. So probably 2 or 3 minutes were already gone from her timer. Additionally, she still needs atleast a minute to not risk her identity getting revealed while she takes Rena Rouge's and Carapace's Miraculous. There was no more time to spare. Despite that I don't really think Chloé would have understood even if Ladybug had more than 2 minutes to spare. Not with how self-centered she is.

Well there had been some smaller incidents with Chloé treating people badly (Animaestro fo example) but that aside those were small moments. I think the next big Chloé moment would pretty much be Heart Hunter and Miracle Queen. Heart Hunter proved that Chloé did not learn from what Ladybug said. She still waited on her rooftop with her Bee signal for Ladybug to come and give her the Miraculous. In the end of the episode we see her so angry at Ladybug for not giving her the Miraculous that she willingly worked with Hawk Moth and actively forcing her will onto Pollen.

This is what happens:

Hawk Moth: (puts up his hand and interrupts) You're right, but I did it for one reason only. So that you would finally realize that Ladybug will never give you the Bee Miraculous again. I, however, always keep my promises. (shows her the Bee Miraculous in his hand)

Chloé: This isn't real! How do you have it?

Hawk Moth: Try it and see for yourself. You're Ladybug's greatest fan. You've helped her, you've trusted her, and what has she done for you in return?

Chloé: (gets angry) Nothing! She couldn't care less about me! I'm done with her. She's irrelevant, utterly irrelevant! (reaches out to grap the Miraculous, stops) I want you to deakumatize has my parents first!

Hawk Moth: Whatever you say, my queen. (Chloé takes the comb and puts it in her hair, releasing Pollen)

Pollen: (urgently) Your majesty, wait!-

Chloé: Silence! You will speak only when spoken to. Your loss, Ladybug. Pollen, buzz on! (transforms into Queen Bee)

She then gets willingly akumatized.

In Miracle Queen we then see her actively work for Hawk Moth, even revealing all the Miraculous Holders. After she gets deakumatized she seems to still have her memory, considering how she wasn't disoriented like every other Akuma Victim. She even jumps after another Akuma.

Chloé also does and says the following "I'm not on your side anymore! How many times have I asked to fight alongside you? And how many times have you refused to give me back my Miraculous? How many, huh? Hawk Moth isn't my enemy, he's yours! And the Miracle Box is mine! (Queen Bee slams down the Miracle Box, and opening it, starts putting on all of the Miraculouses)".

This pretty much proves my point further. Chloé never let go of the Bee Miraculous, thinking it was her own and she had every right to obtain it whenever she wants. The fact that she's only concerned about getting the Miraculous even proves further that she doesn't really care about helping others. All she cares about is her self and as established before this had always been the case. Even in the Queen's Battle trilogy.

Think about it. Chloé is so deadset on keeping the Bee Miraculous that she would do anything. And if I say anything I mean anything. She literally worked with Hawk Moth to get the Miraculous. So if getting the Miraculous and all the attention that comes with it means that she has to help others she'd gladly do it. If helping others means she gets attention she'd gladly do it. We've seen it in Despair Bear and other episodes. Ladybug used to be Chloé's idol so to get her attention she pushed the mind controlled Cat Noir away. To get Adrien's attention she threw the party and was nice to the others. But the moment people didn't look she acted mean. This isn't even the only season 2 or 3 episode this happened. It is totally in character for Chloé to have reacted the way she did in the season 3 finale. Just because she turned bad again doesn't mean she's a 2 dimensional character. She still has the same backstory and all as she had before. The only difference here is that she openly worked with Hawk Moth. So why is she suddenly a horribly written character? Just because she worked with Hawk Moth?

Well let me tell you something: Just look at her relationship with her father. He never denied her anything. He always did everything she wanted. She would throw a tantrum if she doesn't get what she wants. So don't you think it's totally in character for Chloé to react the way she did when Ladybug refused to give her the Miraculous? It's the equivalent to the tantrum of a spoiled rich girl (or boy) would throw if they don't get what they want. The only difference here being that a magical terrorist pretty much took advantage of that tantrum.

As you can see the way she acted was not out of character. It was completely in character for Chloé. In fact, it was so in character that if we've taken the time to truly look at her then we all would have seen it. I gotta admit, I myself got completely deceived the first time I watched Malediktator and Miraculer. I myself thought, maybe she could change (and I still think so). The first time I watched Heart Hunter and Miracle Queen I also thought it was bad writing and I also hated that finale. I thought they did her dirty. I literally blamed the writers like all the others and stated on YouTube how bad of a Episode that was. But now? Now that I actually took the time to rewatch the Episodes (not just the finale but generally any episode) over and over again just to see all the small details people talked about that I never noticed, I noticed those details about Chloé that I didn't before.

People always claim the finale is horrible because they made Chloé out of character... but... In fact, the Season 3 finale is actually good. It may have some plot holes because the writing of the show honestly sometimes isn't the best. There's some episodes that are badly written and have loads of plot holes. But the season 3 finale? It might just be one of the better written episodes. And that only because of the fact that they sticked to how a girl like Chloé would actually react to getting told off like that. And I know for a fact that girls as spoiled as Chloé would react like that because I met a fair share of people like that. They all threw a huge tantrum when they got told off.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying Chloé doesn't have the potential to change. Infact, she definitely has the potential to change. But not like this. Chloé needs to hit rock bottom before she can actually change. And no, getting told you can't have the Bee Miraculous anymore is not rock bottom. The first thing that needs to happen is for her father to stand up to her. And as seen in (⚠️Season 4 Spoiler warning⚠️) Queen Banana André finally did stand up to Chloé. If he keeps that up that might be good start (⚠️End of Spoiler⚠️). After Chloé doesn't get everything she wants from her father anymore there's two things that can happen: Either she becomes a complete lost cause and doesn't learn anything from it or rather she doesn't want to learn or she learns that not everything will always go her way and that she can't have everything (specifically the Bee Miraculous, as you can't buy it.). This also might cause her to become less selfish and start thinking more about the others. Even if that doesn't happen maybe Zoé (because she's Chloé's half sister) or Adrien (because he is/was Chloé's childhood best friend and would love to help her) could come in to help Chloé become less selfish. But again for that to happen Chloé first needs to learn that not everything goes how she wants it and she can't have everything. And again this won't happen if everything is handed to her like it has been all these years.

Please understand that I am not hating on Chloé. Chloé may even be one of my favorite characters for the exact reasons I mentioned here. Because even tho she's a stereotypical bully she has depth to her character. And if she'll ever truly change she'd might just become one of the more relatable characters in the show.

And I know I am none of the writers so I do not know what they thought while writing the finale and the rest of Chloé's arc but to me this seems like the most logical explanation. I do not think the writers hate Chloé. That just makes no sense. They have developed her past and backstory and stuff like that way too much for them to hate her. If they truly hated her I don't even think they would have developed her character like that. If they truly hated her they would have left her like Lila with little to no information about her past or basically anything that explains her actions.

So please, I ask you please do not harass the writers for their decisions. Just please for once try to understand their thought process. Maybe you just didn't truly understand what they meant because as I explained Chloé's arc was deceiving. On the surface it looked like a redemption arc but truly it wasn't.

I am not claiming to have fully understood what the writers where trying to say but I do think I got close to what they were trying to say. I am also very sorry if I might have not been able to explain some of the points well. While I did rewatch every episode while writing this I did not want to put in every single episode (which might have gotten my points across even better) as the post has already gotten way too long. Not many people like to read much so probably only a few will even have read this completely. But to those who did take the time to read it all, thank you for having taken the time. I'd really like to hear your opinion on my take on this topic. Because while I do think this might be somewhat close to what the writers where trying to do it most likely isn't exactly what they wanted. I'd really like to hear your opinion on my take on this topic. Because as I said while I do think this might be somewhat close to what the writers where trying to do it most likely isn't exactly what they wanted. Maybe some of you have something to debunk or maybe even strengthen my points. Both is fine as long as everyone's nice towards each other. I do not want to see some kind of war. So please be kind towards each other.

[no-reply95]

I was scrolling through the Beatles topic on Twitter the other day and came across a tweet from Mark Lewisohn referring to a talk he’d given to the Fab4cast podcast on the Get Back sessions and Spring period of 1969. I assumed that it was a recent talk so I gave it a listen but the talk is actually from 2019.

I tend to find Lewisohn’s podcast interviews to be very interesting. He’s obviously got decades worth of Beatle knowledge stored up so you’re almost guaranteed to learn something new or hear an anecdote that you’ve never heard before but more than the factoids he’s accumulated over the years I find his interpretations of the band extremely telling.

The part of the conversation that really caught my attention was when the podcast hosts brought up the fact that John and Paul’s weddings were really close together and wondered if the two events were connected in any way, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that this probably got the biggest reaction out of Lewisohn, the main points of the exchange are outlined below (time stamp 47:12)

Host: “Well also in this period there are two events, the marriages of John and Paul, within 8 days of each other… I read that John wanted to marry on the 14th, two days after Paul’s wedding but couldn’t do it because of legal issues, how much was his [marriage] a response to Paul’s marriage do you think?”

Lewisohn: “I’ve read that people say that it was but never heard John say that it was so there’s no validity to those claims they’re just people assuming that John didn’t want to be outdone by Paul… that’s the kind of writing that annoys me because it becomes part of the fact and it’s some writer thinking that’s what it probably was… Unless someone out there can find a Lennon quote in which he actually says it in which case I stand corrected and I’ll be very happy to do so”

There’s a lot going on in these quotes so I’m gonna break down my thoughts on this further:

The illusion of John’s honesty

What Lewisohn displays here is something I believe is pretty common within the Beatles’ authorship. I believe in Revolution In The Head Ian McDonald referred to John as “truth” and Paul as “beauty” and I think a lot of writers do tend to assign those attributes consistently to John and Paul. Reading (or listening) to the Lennon Remembers interview now, it’s hard to believe at one stage people took what John was saying as fact and never even questioned whether there were emotions or agenda behind what he was saying, despite the contradictions (“Me and Paul stopped writing together in 1962” vs “Me and Paul worked really closely together on Sgt. Pepper”) and because John was so charismatic and would speak openly in interviews and to people he knew about both the good and bad in his life I think people, and in this case Lewisohn, assume that John told us everything of note that happened in his life, which I don’t think is a realistic expectation of anyone, let alone someone as famous as John. I think it’s problematic to take John’s or anyone else’s words, especially when they’re said in public, as the gospel truth because everyone has an agenda and John was no different. I also think it’s unrealistic to believe that John would ever announce that the reason he and Yoko got married when they did was in any way connected to Paul, that would have sullied the sanctity of “John and Yoko TM”, I mean, how can you be the greatest love story ever if the reason you decided to get married was because your musical partner who you may have unresolved romantic feelings for got married? I don’t think John would publicly embarrass Yoko like that or risk undermining the strength of the brand he was trying to create with his new relationship by admitting that Paul’s marriage spurred them on. That Lewisohn is apparently holding out for a lost interview of John stating that Paul was involved in the timing of his marriage to Yoko just sounds pretty far fetched to me.

The timing of John’s wedding in relation to his and Yoko’s divorces

As discussed in this podcast, Paul and Linda got married (pretty unexpectedly I believe) on 12 March 1969 and John and Yoko got married 8 days later (and apparently they wanted it to be sooner) on 20 March 1969. Aside from the extremely close proximity of John and Paul’s weddings it should be noted that John’s divorce from Cynthia was finalised in November 1968 and Yoko’s from Tony Cox was finalised in January 1969.

So why am I bringing up John and Yoko’s divorces? Because it meant that they were free to marry each other from January 1969, there was no longer a legal issue preventing them and if John’s bursting out in song about it, you would assume that they would have started planning their wedding ASAP… but curiously they didn’t. How do we know John and Yoko weren’t planning a wedding before Paul married Linda? Because once Paul was married John and Yoko started scrambling to get married ASAP, suddenly there was a rush and need to be married that hadn’t existed before, John suddenly wanted to marry Yoko on a ferry but they couldn’t be married there, then John wanted to marry Yoko in Paris but they needed to be resident in Paris for a period of time before they could get married there so eventually they settled on Gibraltar as they could get married there at short notice. Clearly there was a sudden need for John and Yoko to get married that didn’t materialise until around March 1969, am I and countless other people (including Paul himself) crazy for assuming that Paul’s wedding impacted John’s sudden desperate need to be married? If it wasn’t Paul’s wedding, what was it?

Authorial interpretation and assumptions

I’m really fascinated by the visceral reaction Lewisohn had to just the suggestion that the timing of John and Yoko’s wedding was connected to Paul and Linda’s. For Lewisohn to state it annoys him was pretty shocking to me because, given what is publicly known about this period and the lack of any other logical reason for John and Yoko’s wedding to be so close to Paul’s and Linda’s, I don’t think it’s bad writing to point out the proximity and suggest that the timing was more than a coincidence.

Based on his reaction, you would assume that Lewisohn would be set against any form of interpretation where the principal in question hadn’t confirmed that the interpretation was in fact correct but that would be an incorrect assumption to make. Some of you may be aware of the Hornsey Road shows Mark Lewisohn was giving in 2019 around the 50th anniversary of Abbey Road. During these shows Lewisohn played a clip from the, now infamous, 4-4-4-2 meeting tape and gave a presentation on the Abbey Road period in the Beatles’ history. One of the points Lewisohn raised during the show was that during the sessions, after the car accident in Scotland, a bed was brought into the studio for Yoko so she (and sometimes John) could rest while work on the album progressed. According to Lewisohn, one morning they turned up to the studio and someone had removed one of the legs from the bed, leaving it with 3 legs *dramatic pause* which was him heavily hinting that he thought Paul broke Yoko’s bed on purpose and then bragged about it on the Ram album by including a song called 3 legs, I’m not going to go into the validity (or lack thereof) of this claim but I find it very interesting that Lewisohn was annoyed about authors suggesting that the timing of John and Yoko’s wedding was connected to Paul and Linda’s but he seems happy to publicly speculate that Paul was sabotaging Yoko’s bed in the studio based on the title of a song that he would release on Ram two years later and nothing else.

Is there any evidence that connects John’s wedding to Paul’s?

I’ve already outlined the suspiciousness of John and Yoko choosing to get married right after Paul, when they had been free to marry for weeks prior but is there any other evidence that either proves that the weddings were connected or is Lewisohn right to deem that suggestion as lacking in validity?

Interestingly there actually is unverified eyewitness testimony that does connect John and Paul’s weddings (something not mentioned by Lewisohn in this podcast). I believe there’s an anecdote from Les Anthony (John’s chauffeur at the time) about him driving John and Yoko around when news of Paul’s wedding suddenly came across the radio, to which John apparently said to Yoko that “we have to get married now”… I couldn’t track down the exact source for that story (if anyone knows the source please let me know) so I’m not sure how credible that anecdote is but, assuming it is accurate, then that would suggest a correlation between John and Paul’s weddings that Lewisohn is adamant doesn’t exist.

Why does this matter?

I do think that this podcast interview could be indicative of a few future concerns I personally have around the way the Beatles discourse will progress in the future. Firstly, this was only a podcast interview so it’s unlikely that when Lewisohn releases the final book in his trilogy that he’ll discuss the weddings in this manner (I.e. although he’s adamant the timing of John’s wedding had nothing to with Paul he failed to offer any sort of explanation regarding why John and Yoko were rushing to get married when they’d had weeks to prepare a wedding).

It’s a slight worry that Lewisohn seems to believe that John announced every single thing that happened in his life of note, especially concerning Paul and Yoko. If John had told us everything of interest about him, surely his Dakota diaries would be the basis of a Netflix series by now and not locked away in a vault (assuming they haven’t already been destroyed). To me, like several authors before him, Lewisohn seems to be mistaking John’s emotional honesty with factual honesty. It didn’t escape my attention that several clips of the Lennon Remembers interview were inserted into this podcast and Lewisohn quotes extensively from it in Tune In as well. There’s nothing wrong with using Lennon Remembers as a source but if you do use it you should be analysing the veracity of what was said as we know that John was in a torched earth mentality at that time and even he himself has said what he said in that interview wasn’t meant as a timeless manifesto. It’s a shame that given his ability of analyse sources Lewisohn has never (to my knowledge) critically analysed Lennon Remembers, given that other sources have been analysed this makes LR a strange omission.

Finally, Lewisohn does tend to make some good insights and does have the ability to read between the lines (I.e. him noting Paul’s tendency to say “we” when in most cases he means himself) but with John I do think he has a bit of a blindspot. Why Lewisohn is happy to speculate without evidence in some cases (3 legs) but he draws the line at the suggestion that John and Paul’s weddings being connected is anyone’s guess. If Lewisohn can turn his attention to reading between the lines with John and the other Beatles too and connecting the dots then we should get a Beatles biography that finally addresses a lot of the issues we cover on this site. However, if we take the approach of only using John and Yoko’s PR to understand the events that transpired before and after the band broke up then the story hasn’t moved much further than 1970 and given all that we know now I think that would be a huge shame.

[rphelperblog]

Beth Revis Quote Meme

A new york times best selling author who is most famous for her Across the Universe Trilogy- please feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

“I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one.”

“You never know. Something small and broken really can be powerful.” 

“Is almost a good enough reason for fear ?” 

“I will do anything to make her happy again, so I give her the stars.” 

“A leader isn't someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give him strength to others so that they may have the strength to stand on their own.” 

“Science can make a heart beat,but it can’t make it race.”

“Love without choice isn't love at all.” 

“But there's a difference, isn't there? Between saying goodbye and death.” 

“What if eternity is nothing more than me, alone, in the darkness?” 

“When you wake up, your face will be dry. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t cry.” 

“They'll never truly be able to comprehend how much was lost for their limitless sky.” 

“We can fight, and we can disagree, but I'm never going to let you walk away from me thinking I don't love you.” 

“If it's a matter of dying here or dying there, I think I'd like to at least see the world first.” 

“Don't you see? Those monsters you've been so worried about. Not aliens. People. The monsters have always been people.”

“What matters right now is this: we're each of us standing here, together, alive, together.” 

“It’s not selfish to be yourself and pursue your dreams.” 

“I want her so much that it overrides everything else, every other thought in my head, every instinct, every restraint.” 

“And I know what I told my father was true: let us taste the world, and we’ll do whatever it takes to shape it into our home.” 

“This ship is built on secrets; it runs on secrets” 

“So you’re sticking with me, and I’m sticking with you.” 

“I’m sorry.’ The two most inadequate words in the English language.” 

“A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people.” 

And there is nothing between us but rain. Then there is nothing between us at all.” 

“Choice or no, my heart is his.” 

“I would trade all the stars in the universe if I could just have him back again.” 

“But i don't care. Because we can say them or not; it doesn't matter. What is in our heats is real whether we name it or let it exist only in darkness and silence.” 

“Even when you're silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life.” 

“Because I can think of no better way to meet a girl than to see her through the eyes of the story she loves best.” 

“It's bad, being frozen, but it's better than waking up alone.” 

“Who are the real monsters?” 

“It wasn't that he called me a freak. It was the way he said it. Like he really meant it. Like he believed it.” 

“He's the only stable thing in the swirling chaos.” 

“And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.” 

“This is the secret of the stars. In the end, we are alone. No matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you.”

“Well, sometimes home is a person.” 

Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't.” 

“My heart stutters—not why? or how?—those are not the important questions. The really important question is: by whom?” 

“You gonna fight for something, you fight for something that you're willing to die for.” 

“But of course these are scientists. Tell them to leave something alone, and all they want to do is poke it with a stick.”

“I've never seen the stars before.And I never knew they were so beautiful.” 

“But, really, grief left a hole in you, and while you healed around the hole, you never didn't have it. A piece of you was gone. You couldn't heal something that wasn't there.” 

“Maybe the secret of the stars has nothing to do with being alone.” 

“But...If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope.” 

“It's not knowing that's killing me. Not knowing if there's a chance that something can change, not knowing if there's hope at all.” 

“There is only him and me and this thing between us that I cannot name, not out loud, but that my heart knows is love.” 

“I can think of no better way to meet a girl than to see her through the eyes of the story she loves best.” 

“It is like a piece of my soul had been lost, empty, and it is now filled with the light of a million stars.” 

“But death doesn't work like that. It doesn't care if someone loves you, doesn't want you to go. It just takes. It takes and it takes until eventually you have nothing left.” 

“I want to take her into my arms and hold her tight. But at the same time, I know that is the exact opposite of what she wants. She wants to be free, and all I want is to hold her tight against me.”

“More than the sound of my own beating heart, I miss the sound of a ticking clock. Time passes. It must pass....” 

“I feel alone.”

“I have the whole world now, but I don't have him.” 

“Sometimes home is a person.” 

“You could have valued our lives more than your secrets.” 

“That is what a book is: a million little things, a thousand feelings, hundreds of experiences, all melted together and sculpted into a book-shaped vessel.” 

“If we don't have that, what do we have to live for? Does it matter if it's a lie if it keeps us alive?” 

“She was a good person. She didn’t deserve to die.”

“The sea is a dangerous place because it makes you believe in forever.”

“Memories always kill nightmares.” 

“I cannot imagine a more perfect hell than being trapped inside my own mind.”  I don't mean i feel lonely; I mean i feel alone, the same way i feel the blanket resting on my body, or the feathers of my pillow under my head, or the tight string of my sleep pants twisted up around my waist. I feel alone as if it were an actual thing, seeping throughout this whole level like mist blanketing a field, reaching into all the hidden corners of my room and finding nothing living but me. It's a cold sort of feeling, this.” 

“Sorry? Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. Every. Single. Thing. I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was.”

“Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger; a leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own.” 

“Old people die. It's what they do. “

“If I can only see him in madness, is it worth trying to hold onto sanity?” 

“You must dedicate your whole life to this idea: you are the caretaker of every single person on this ship. They are your responsibility. You can never show weakness in front of them: you are their strength. You can never let them see you in despair: you are their hope. You must always be everything to everyone on board.” 

“This is the secret of the stars. In the end, we are alone no matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you. Maybe the secret of the stars has nothing to do with being alone.” 

“You never know all of a person; you only know them in a specific moment of time.” 

“Even though I know the rain is fake, it feels the same as real rain, and I desperately need that.” 

“I can't be the kind of leader you want me to,I will never, ever be the kind of leader you want me to be. And I will be better because of it.” 

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Treasure Hunter AU

I binged watch the Mummy trilogy while i had no wifi/internet for a while and I had an idea for a treasure hunter Mari with Daminette.

--------

Damian was bored.(age: 22-28 years old.)

At a gala party.

Meets Marinette who was equally bored.(abt the same age as D)

He finds out she was the finder of this famous artifact on display.

-----

Damian tugged at his collar, scanning the crowd. His father needed a plus one to show up with and everyone else were busy.

He grabbed a champagne flute and made his way to the edge of the room.

He found a woman in a black evening gown, looking as bored as he felt. short dark hair. Blue eyes.( I suck at describing people after the third time doing it. It feels overrated)

"Hello, stranger. You bored with mingling in with the assholes on their high horses?"

"Should I be offended?"

"We will see. Depends on you."

"How about you? A beautiful lady like you not kissing up their asses to climb the social ladder. That is strange."

She made a face. "Trust me. I don't want to be here but my friend wanted family time so I came in his place. What about you? Why are you here?"

"I am pretty sure my father wanted someone to get him out if the vultures came too close."

"Vultures, adept descriptions. I am glad no one realized who I am yet or i would be in their claws."

"Who are you representing, anyways?"

"Myself but Adrien or Kagami usually comes in my place but tonight, they have their son's play to go to."

"Adrien and Kagami. Aren't they the Agreste-Tsrungi?"

"Yep."

"You are the Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Globe trotting Treasure hunter and also world-class designer, MDC."

"Now you know. What's your name, handsome stranger?"

"You don't know?"

"Hey. Like you said globetrotting treasure hunter. I am not up-to-date on the news front. And when I am in Paris to do designer stuff, i am too busy to look at the news."

He gave her his hand, "Damian Wayne. Son of Bruce Wayne who is a billionaire and owns Wayne Enterprise."

She shook it.

"Pleased to meet you."

She stills design but like sent her designs to Adrien at least once every month, who had rebranded Gabriel to Miraculous Designs.

Some ppl thinks he did it to spite his father, who is in jail. Adrien and Mari has a partnership thing.

Mari also makes clothes but for a few months. And the rest of the time is spent travelling.

Exclusive designs from MDC are rare but the designs hand made by her are rarer so they are like a really big deal. They have the most amazing details. Really expensive and limited edition.

The rest of the time Mari spends finding Miraculouses (Miraculi ?) lost in the world so if she happens to find a few priceless artifacts that aren't the Miraculous. She donates it.

Alix helps and sometimes go find them with her.

She has Tikki and Plagg and maybe Wyazz all the time to look for curses and counter it.

She has also met John Constantine. They have an arrangement of sorts. A few magical artifacts that doesn't have to Miraculous business are given to him in exchange for any miraculous stuff he has or found.

Adrien funds her trips.

He is married to Kagami.

Kagami goes with Mari and Alix for a few months sometimes. Adrien likes being a stay at home dad.

Their kid is named Marin/Martin because it was Mari who got them together.

The few trips Mari dragged him on was enough to make him stay behind and run the business.

(Back to the story) Damian fangirled a little because Mari had been doing stuff like this since she was 18.

It was an amazing reputation she has.

She invites him to her next trip after questioning his skill sets.

------

"Are you good with heights, dark scary places and adventuring into the unknown?"

"Yes"

"You any good with guns, swords, knives, booby traps and keeping calm under pressure?"

"Yes. I have many experiences with them."

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes. Why are you asking me this?"

"Wanna join me on my next trip to the jungle of China? There are myths about some hidden temple."

------

Damian was a little conflicted.

He hadn't have the chance to explore the world much. He had been somewhere else for a mission (for the League of Shadows or JL business) but never for pleasure.

Being a vigilante by night and working at Wayne Enterprise by day gets a little boring after some years.

His brothers had a chance to travel the world on their own for a while. Sure, for reasons other than sight-seeing and looking for something to break out of the rut he was in. But still.

This was an exciting opportunity but a tad suspicious.

-----

"Why me?"

She looked surprised at that.

"Oh. Well, my friends enjoy coming with me on my adventures, treasure hunting and all that every now and then except Adrien but they have other things in their life to come with me all the time. I can mostly survive on my own most of the time but it gets lonely travelling on my own and it's nice if someone is there to watch my back. I understand if you don't want to come. It's just that I enjoy your company and you aren't like those assholes on their high horses. My gut feeling says I can trust you. You are not after the treasure or see it as one big game. You are looking for an escape. You would definitely catch me if I fall. As you know from my choice of friends, i have a bad habit of pulling rich kids from their stuffy lifestyle and take them on potentially life-threatening adventures." She joked. Then she lowered her voice, "Besides, it might be handy having a former assassin around."

She said in Arabic.

His hand went to his hidden knife and found it not there.

"Looking for this?" She said, holding it.

"How much do you know?" He hissed back in the same language.

"Relax," she gave back the knife, "my mother was one and I have accidentally came across a few in my adventures. I know one when i see one. I took a stab in the dark with your middle-eastern background. Speaking of, you know Talia Al Ghul by any chance."

He narrowed his eyes.

"She's my mother. Why?"

"You look like her. Met her a few times. Nice lady but scary. Mine's Sabine Cheng, goes by the Blue Reaper." She said it so casually like their parents weren't dangerous deadly assassins and had normal jobs.

"You aren't normal, are you?"

"What gave it away?"

"That you willingly gave away blackmail material to me."

"Normal people don't have assassins for mothers. And you and me aren't exactly meeting the minimum standards for normal. Besides, I just told you a family secret that you would have found out anyways with a through background search and a little digging. So far all I know about you is that your parents are Talia Al Ghul and Bruce Wayne-I wonder how an assassin got together with a billionaire-, you are a former League of Shadows assassin, you are great with weapons, keeping secrets and so far meeting the criteria for an adventure buddy. That's all I swear. And that you have some pets. A cat, maybe."

"How you know about my cat?!"

"Cat hair on your clothes." She was good. "If it will ease your mind about me, you can ask me 5 questions that I will truthfully answer. "

"So why are you doing this?"

"That's question 1. Well, I really want whatever this is between us to work. Partners, Friends, Companions, Comrades. Whatever you want to call it. Like I said, I get lonely sometimes and need some human interaction to at least keep myself sane. You looked like you want to be somewhere else and I thought this is perfect. I am not going to tell anyone about you or push you to join me. I swear on my mother's sword."

"Are we killing anybody?"

"Mostly I try to avoid that as much as possible. Sometimes I get into situations with no other alternative. " She looked away guiltily.

"Fair enough."

"Not judging me for that. That's a first for me."

"I am a former assassin and have killed before. I have no right to condemn you for your past."

"How much are you willing to tell me about this hidden temple?"

"That has to do with a secret. I would tell you more when there are less ears around. But this temple was said to hold a magic jewel that grants some powers and it is located really deep in the jungle. Getting there might take months."

"You forgot to mention that last one."

"Oh yeah. You think you can get away for some months. This kind of stuff usually takes a while. Like I said before, no pressure. Anyway, 2 questions left."

"What's my salary?"

"Aren't you a billionaire?"

"My father is. I have a trust fund and I get a salary for doing my job at the company. You are lucky that I just finished with most of my assigned projects so I might be able to come."

"I am so sorry about just assuming things about you. You can say no to the offer. The temple is said to hold some other treasures but I mainly want the jewel. We could auction off a few bits and pieces. I usually just donate them to museums and universities or sell them to those who really appreciate the history. I would also pay for the entire expenses for the trip."

"Can I think about this?"

"Sure. Here's my number. I leave on the 1st of next month. Gimme an answer a week before that so I can make the proper arrangements. It has been fun talking to you, Damian."

She walked away, going towards the buffet table.

------

Back in the car on the way home to the manor.

Bruce asked, "Who were you talking to for that long?"

"Who?"

"The one that gave you her number."

"Oh. MDC. She invited me to join her in China next month to find some hidden temple."

"She did?"

"Yes. Not only that she found out about mother and know what I did before I came here. She doesn't know about Batman, Robin or Crow. And she said she wasn't going to blackmail me but just wanted a companion to go with her. Ideally, it would be best to silence her before she digs any further into me but I trust her. I sincerely believe that she meant it when she said that she's not going to tell on me. And I am really tempted to take up on it."

"What do you want to do?"

"On one hand, i would be gone for months so there won't be Crow in Gotham for a while and I have a few projects I need to finish up. On the other hand. Father, I have been a vigilante for over 10 years now and I haven't really done much out besides that, school and now work. I have appreciated all you have done for me over the years. But I want to go with her. Do something that is not connected to Batman or Wayne or Al Ghul. Just a little something different for myself."

"You can go if you want. I am not going to stop you. I will make arrangements so the projects would be done by someone else. The others can cover your patrols. You are still young so it is understandable to want some fun every now and then."

"Thank you, Father."

Bruce put his hand on his shoulder.

"I am proud of you as Crow and as Damian Wayne. But if you want to go find some hidden temple in China just for a break from this life, to be just Damian, go for it. There are worse things you could do. Just tell me if you are going to go on any future trips like that." (I don't know DC much, sorry if that is a little OOC but I like good dad! Bruce.)

-------

Damian dialed the number on the card.

"Hello"

"I accept your offer, miss MDC."

"Damian? Right, text me your email address. I will sent you things you would need to pack and flight details. And can you come by to the Gotham Rose Hotel tomorrow? I will give more details on the temple."

-------

Damian comes by the hotel.

Marinette tells him of the kwamis and miraculous and makes him swear to not tell anyone unless they already know.

The hidden temple actually might have a miraculous.

Damian gets a little interested in the akuma situation she mentioned.

Mari doesn't say anything about it much.

When he got back, he goes to the Bat-computer and did some digging.

Ladybug looks a little familiar. Pulls up younger picture of Mari and look at that, she used to be a superhero.

Wonder Woman was kept informed of things and made sure no one goes to Paris without her knowing.

Zatanna helped capture the villain Hawkmoth and end his 2 year reign.

Fast forward, they are in Beijing now, sleeping off jetlag.

The next morning, They get out of the city somehow to the city limits and somewhere remote.

Mari uses Kalki and transports them to the jungle.

They set up camp. Cue Campfire stories.

-----

"I thought getting here would take months."

"No actually, finding the temple would. According to my research and the map I copied through less than legal means, it is somewhere in this general area. There used to a city around here too and the king or emperor pissed off some powerful priest or wizard, take your pick. There was a curse. The city crumbled down and the temple is the only thing standing because the king went there and prayed to the gods for protection. The one who answered his prayers and protected the temple in doing so the king was pressed into service of the god. The king did everything the god said for a while but later, he started to hate it and began disobeying the orders. The god cursed him for his disobedience. The temple he was protected in became his tomb and he was tasked to protect the chest inside the temple for the rest of eternity. Anyone who opens the chest would gain the ultimate power to rule the earth. Thankfully, we are not after the chest. Some powerful crack-head with a misused miraculous tried to find it and open the chest for more power. But he never returned. My theory is that the miraculous is still in the temple. As long as we don't wake up the king or go for the chest, we would be okay."

"What are the guns for? And How did you get them past security?"

"In case of emergencies, an army of undead was mentioned and guns are surprisingly good repellent. Well, most of the time. It's useless if there is a no weapons can kill 'it' rule. Then, it's just a stress reliever. I kept them in a pocket dimension. Makes it easier to get around."

Damian vowed to never let Marinette meet Jason. Judging by the pile of guns and occasional knives and other weapons she took out of the brown satchel which apparently holds a pocket dimension, Jason would adopt her. He wondered if that was all that was inside in.

-------

They packed up and started searching the jungle for hidden temple.

It was a month and a half before they found it.

They bonded a lot during that time.

They had a moment after drinking a little alcohol which Mari has in the pocket dimension. Or Drank a lot of alcohol and had sex.

It was awkward and they both agree to not talk about it again.

Soon after, they found the temple. But it is still a little far away.

But the temple is not the only thing they found. They also found a campsite with many people milling around. Some of them carried guns.

Somewhat rich bastard who overheard their conversation at the gala. Heard treasure and found out where Mari's next expedition is.

Had the help of some scholar who wants to be famous for the greatest find since King Tut.

They found the temple even though they had no magical help, they left 2 weeks before Mari did, so yeah.

Rich Bastard's name is 'Philip Anderson'(This sounds familiar to me for some reason and I can't find out why.) and Scholar is 'Harry Scott'

They have armed bodyguards and some 'hired' help to get the treasure.

Anderson is still rich but his company had been getting losses the past 2 years and this is a quick, easy get rich scheme.

Mari and Damian: "Rich asshole on his high horse."

Anderson doesn't know about the chest but Mari and Damian thinks he does and it was what he was after.

They set up camp a little further ahead of Anderson's

Unfortunately, they were found by Harry. Somehow.

-----

I am going to continue this when I am more awake.