#please tell me I'm not the only one who thought of this

[suiana]

yandere! childhood friend who still reminisces about your childhood together. yeah, the two of you may be grown now but he's been your day 1 and he just can't help but think about how you used to cling to him and adore him so much! he wishes you'd still do that but it is what it is. no matter how much he wishes otherwise.

yandere! childhood friend who did everything with you. yeah, that also includes practicing kisses. he's your first kiss, and he's never gonna let you forget that. you said you wanted to get better and who is he to refuse? he can't pass up such a prime opportunity! and it's not like he wants anyone else to take it. god no. that would be a tragedy.

"yeah, remember our kissing practices? hah, we were such kids back then!" he watches as you snicker, feeling a warm flush creep up his spine. god, of course he remembers. young and immature as you both were, you both learned together. that's all that really matters to him. "thanks to you, i can now makeout with my partners with ease. you're the best man." and has he told you how muchit infuriates him that you're using your experience to get with others? to please them with the mouth that once touched his? nah, he really can't stand for it. but he isn't allowed to say anything. he's just a childhood friend after all. not for long though.

yandere! childhood friend who wishes he would've accepted your offer to learn how to fuck as well. but no, he just had to be way too delusional back then and tell you to wait for the right one. he must've thought that you'd feel the same and confess then he'd court you slowly before getting to that stage... that never happened unfortunately. not yet at least. he'll make it happen.

yandere! childhood friend who's still a hopeless romantic at heart. a delusional one but a romantic nonetheless. he brings you out on "platonic dates" or whatever the fuck you like to call it, comfort you after your shitty excuse of a partner dumps you, and treats you like the deity that you are. you only deserve the best and he'll be there to provide. none of these losers can't treat you well. he can. he really hopes it'll help you see him as a potential boyfriend!

"i just," you blow your nose, tears streaming down your cheeks as your childhood friend rubs at your back tenderly. "don't know why he'd want to dumo me! we've been going strong for a year already! it's so out of the blue!" yeah, out of the blue huh... not really out of the blue for someone who's been actively theeatening that poor excuse of a man. that menas him, obviously. why he's been threatening him, you ask? because he's not treating you the way you should be treated, duh! sure you look happy but are you really? probably not, he's sure of it. "hey hey, don't worry... I'm here now, aren't i?" he always is, and he always will. you just need to understand that fact and you'll start seeing him in a different light too. don't worry, he has lots of patience. just... don't go sleeping with other people again.

yandere! childhood friend who may or may not be totally super duper mega in love with you. yeah, definitely not in love with you. that would be weird, right? come on, he's your childhood friend! sure you two might've kissed when you were kids and promised to marry one another but those were kiddy promises! that's all they are! he... totally doesn't believe you actually wanna marry him and be his forever and ever.

"so have you started thinking about your future?" he pauses at your question, rubbing at his empty ring finger. future, huh? funny how you ask that when you two are destined to be together at the end of it all. i mean, the two of your promised it as kids, didn't you? sure you're exploring now but at the end if the day, it's him that you come back to, don't you? even if just as a friend. but that's the present, not the future. "nah, not really. just wanna focus on the current moment, y'know?" bullshit, and he knows it. but he doesn't wanna scare you away. not yet at least. you're still out lookign for others which means you haven't come round to the idea of you two together. not to worry, he'll give you a little more time to see how good he is. how good things could be between you two if you just gave him the chance. "i mean, you're here with me." he chuckles, taking your hand in his before placing it on his cheek. you're warm. he likes your warmth, it's so soothing. "that's more than enough for me." half lidded eyes gaze at you, full of emotion and hidden longing before he hums softly. the teo fo you sit in the park in silence, enjoying each other's presence. in the moonlight, everything seems to slow and engulf the two of you in a quiet embrace. he only wishes you would just love him back already. "yeah, I'm glad to be by your side too, best friend." ...he really hates those words. don't worry, good things come to those who wait. and you will be his in due time. you've already had his heart, now all he needs is yours.

[spacegyaru]

DON'T LOOK AT IT!

your phone got lost for some reasons. the following day, the sex tape you made with your boyfriend (shidou, kaiser, sae, and bachira) was all around the internet. how would they react?

cw: r18+, mdni! mentions of sex tape and implied sex. humiliation. somewhat angst and comfort. a little bit toxic, esp shidou and kaiser's.

a/n: i'm going to start this with characters who are most likely to have sex tapes first then i'll add other characters!!

masterlist

shidou ryusei

this guy is a fucking freak. in your relationship with him, every intimate and lovemaking session must be recorded. he would watch it from time to time, and he may have even threatened you a lot of times that if you decided to cheat or leave him, he's going to post those videos online. that guy is 100% shameless.

if your sex tape with him goes viral, shidou would absolutely give zero fucks about it. he would be even smug and confident. even if you feel sad and humiliated, he's just going to make fun of you but would try to comfort you with hugs and kisses… and another lovemaking session together. this time, no cameras on. only for a while, until the issue dies down.

“awww, don't you want people to see how much of a dirty girl you are? you're even moaning my name loudly while i drill you from behind. or are you ashamed of you belong to?”

michael kaiser

another freak who won't give a a fuck about it. like shidou, he would act smug and proud about it.

his management told him that he could lose potential sponsors with that video alone. but he know that he's one of the best players so they couldn't just drop him like that. and apparently, he's actually right. he almost fired his secretary for telling him what to do.

if you feel humiliated, kaiser would try to comfort you. but his way to comfort you is not by words, not even by affection. he would shower you with gifts and designer bags, even with the management telling you to stay apart first until the issue dies down. he honestly don't get it. why do you feel ashamed with letting the whole world know who you belong to?

“what do you mean you feel ashamed? you were fucking me, michael kaiser. i'm no nobody. come on, let me just take you on a shopping spree and get this off your mind.”

bachira meguru

another freak, but also a sweetheart. not all, but MOST of your lovemaking sessions and intimate encounters are recorded using your phone. whenever he's away or on tour, he would watch it and touch himself at the thought of you. when you told him that your phone got lost, you were the only one panicking. he told you that he could just buy you a new one, but that's not what you're concerned about. the videos. THE FUCKING VIDEOS. LITERALLY. FUCKING.

then days later, one of your videos with him went viral. you've never felt so humiliated your whole life. but bachira was just like “huh? what's wrong with that? people already know we're together, right?” you smacked his shoulder with that insensitive comment of his.

hours later, bachira apologized to you, bought you flowers, and ice cream to comfort you. he realized that he did something wrong when you avoided him for being so clueless and insensitive about the issue. he also posted an apology to the social media, after his management and his own mother scolded him. he got extra scolding from his mom when he told her how you responded to it.

“y/n baby, i'm really sorry about it. i thought it would be alright because the whole world already knew how much we love each other. would you forgive me, please?”

itoshi sae

not that much of a freak, but you were the one who brought up the idea of making a video together so he could watch it while he's away. he’s not that much of a fun but would do it just once or twice during your relationship.

when the video went viral, sae mostly scolded you for it. he didn't outwardly ‘scold scold’ you, but he gave you cold shoulder. apparently, his management told him that you guys shouldn't be seen together in public for a while. he knew he couldn't resist if ever he talked to you even nicely.

you started crying because he really acted coldly around you. he sighed and felt guilty about it. so while the issue hasn't died down yet, he took you out for a shopping spree. he bought you some cartier jewelry and new designer shoes.

“jeez, stop being dramatic. we're going out tonight and i'll take you to buy that designer shoes you've been eyeing. but we're never recording any of our sex again, okay?”

a/n: comment down which character should i do next!! i'm thinking of hiori but idk, suggest more pls!!!

[writingwithciara]

aggravations -nico hischier-

summary: after a particularly tough game, nico comes home and accidentally lets his frustrations out on his roommate, shifting their relationship in the worst way

word count: 3.3k

pairing: nico hischier x roommate reader, jesper bratt x best friend reader

notes: had this idea written down in a notebook for a long time. i can't believe nico is injured now 🥺 also i couldn't decide which gif to use so i chose all 3 because he's too cute 😍😊

y/n watched the devils game on the edge of her seat. she had gotten home from work just before the 2nd period started and she watched her best friend & his teammates play their hardest.

jesper took several shots on goal but only one made it in. he had tied the game just as the period was ending.

the third period was way more intense, however.

no shots were going past the goalie for either team and she could sense the frustration from each man. even through a television screen, it was easy to tell that jesper and nico were taking it the hardest. perhaps it was because she lived with nico and had known jesper her entire life basically.

she glanced at the image of the man that popped up on her screen. nico's stats so far that season had been impressive. but the broadcasters were comparing them to his performance on the ice & it wasn't good. and it wasn't fair to him.

things only got worse when the other team finally scored. y/n watched as the camera focused on nico's face. he wasn't mic'd up but she was an expert lip reader.

what the fuck was what he muttered. and it tugged at her heart as she watched the waves of frustration roll off him.

his frustration translated into his playing style and shortly before the end of the game, he got tripped and fell awkwardly. he had to be helped off the ice.

y/n watched as her best friend winced in pain while they helped him off the ice. she immediately got to work on setting up the apartment to cheer him up and help him feel better about the injury.

but the moment he walked in the door, everything fell apart. nico was more frustrated than he was at the game and whenever y/n would try to talk to him calmly or try to help with the injury, he would only get more upset. it culminated into chaos when he finally raised his voice and said the one thing y/n thought she'd never hear from him.

"god, i just can't stand having you here."

she was nearly speechless as she felt the tears prick her eyes. but she managed to get out a few strangled words. "screw you, nico."

"y/n, i didn't.."

but nico's apology fell on deaf ears. y/n was already in her room, grabbing a bag and throwing clothes into it. nico stood in her doorway.

"y/n, please." nico watched her every move and felt terrible. he never meant to say those words to her. he was frustrated beyond belief and instead of thanking her for her efforts, he screwed up.

y/n grabbed her bag and shoved past nico rather roughly.

"y/n where are you going?"

"none of your business, nico." y/n fought hard against her tears as she headed to the door.

"y/n please."

"no, nico. you don't get to say those things and act like i'm the one who hurt you." she grabbed the handle and took one last look at nico before slamming it in his face.

she got in her car and let the tears finally fall. she didn't know where she was going but she needed to put distance between herself and the apartment.

so, she drove. she didn't care what time it was. she just drove. by the time 7 am rolled around, y/n was wide awake and still in her car. she turned off the 'do not disturb' feature on her phone and stared at her screen as the texts from nico came through. mostly generic apologies.

i'm sorry please come home i'm really sorry i didn't mean it where are you? are you safe? if you won't come home, please tell me you're safe i don't know what i'd do if something bad happened to you seriously, please text me even if it's to say you hate me, which i deserve please

even though she was upset as his words replayed in her head, she couldn't help but feel bad.

instead of replying to his text, she checked the one from jesper.

hey. nico just called and told me what happened. please tell me you're alright

she hit the call button and he answered before it rang a second time.

"y/n, are you okay?"

"physically, yes. but i've been up all night just driving around town and i'm exhausted. plus, my heart feels like it's been blown up or something." she sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"you know you're welcome to come by and get some rest here. i won't tell nico."

"i should probably get some rest, huh?" y/n started her car and connected her phone to the bluetooth. "thanks, bratter. i'll be by in a few minutes."

"i'll have the guest room set up for you."

"greatly appreciated." y/n sighed and drove to her best friends house. when she arrived, jesper handed her a cup of coffee and let her take her time as she rested in the guest room.

a few hours later, y/n woke up and ventured back into the living room. jesper was waiting for her.

"hey. how are you feeling?" he asked as she sat down.

"a little better. i'm rested but i'm still incredibly hurt."

"that's understandable. nico told me he snapped at you but he didn't tell me what was said."

"after the game," y/n sighed. "he came home and i was trying to cheer him up. figured he could use it. but he got even more frustrated and said that he couldn't stand having me there."

"he seriously said that?" jesper's eye widened. "y/n, i'm so sorry."

"you don't need to apologize. it's not your fault, jesper." she looked at her friend. "maybe it's mine. maybe i pushed it a little too far."

"no. you definitely didn't do anything wrong, y/n. and i'm sure nico feels the same way. we had a bad game last night and i'm positive he didn't mean to take it out on you. that man adores living with you."

"i'm sure he does. but i need time away from him. to clear my head, and whatnot."

"that's understandable. and you're more than welcome to stay here. the guest room is yours."

"i appreciate it jesper." y/n stood up. "you guys have an away game soon, don't you?"

"yeah. 2 days in florida then we're back here."

"okay. that might be enough time to clear my head." she nodded and headed into the guest room.

2 days later, as jesper was getting ready to head to florida, he stopped by y/n's room to check on her.

"hey. are you sure you'll be okay here until i get back this weekend?"

"i'll be fine, jesper." y/n smiled. "you're going to crush it in florida. guaranteed. tampa and florida won't stand a chance."

"no they will not." he chuckled. "i'll be back saturday night."

"looking forward to it."

while he was away, y/n watched both games on the tv. nico was not playing to his strengths and while it wasn't hurting the team, she could tell it was messing with him.

and she wanted nothing more than to be there for him. she just couldn't bring herself to forget what he had said to her. it was still a sore spot for her to even think about.

when the last game was over, tampa had completely shut out the devils. y/n had to turn the tv off before they did the post-game interview with nico. she couldn't listen to him beat himself up over their loss.

on saturday night, jesper walked through the front door, waking y/n. she had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room just over an hour prior to his return.

"oh shit. i didn't mean to wake you."

"it's alright." y/n got up and followed jesper into the kitchen. "i watched the games."

"i'm sorry."

"i should be the one saying sorry to you. you guys tried your best out there. but both of the florida teams are brutal. you guys fought a good fight."

"not as good as we normally do." jesper ran a hand through his hair and looked at y/n. "nico is blaming himself for the loss."

"i figured he would be." she sighed. "it's not his fault though. you guys are a team. you win together and you lose together. the blame should never fall on one specific player."

"i know. but try telling him that. he thinks just because he's our captain that he's supposed to carry the weight of it all when we end up sucking."

"i would tell him. but i'm still mad at him. for everything."

"well if it's any consolation, he's suffering. bad."

"good." y/n straightened herself up and looked at jesper for a second. "i'm going back tomorrow to get my stuff. and i'm gonna take it to a storage facility & i'm going to tell nico that i'm moving out."

"y/n, you know that's going to crush him." jesper shook his head. "you and i both know what happened last time someone broke his heart."

"i'm not breaking his heart, j. maybe we've just grown apart over the last few weeks and he's finally had enough." y/n shrugged.

"i can see i'm not going to be able to convince you of anything regarding nico. so i feel like i should end this conversation by telling you that you're welcome to stay here as long as you need."

"thanks, jesper. i'll see you in the morning." /n patted his shoulder and went to her room. she was out like a light.

the next day, y/n drove slowly to nico's apartment. she was procrastinating and she hated it. it meant that the longer she put it off, the more likely she'd be to move back in with nico. and she was sure that he wouldn't want that happening.

she climbed out of her car and rode the elevator to the right floor and stood in front of the door, unsure if she should knock or walk in. after debating with herself for 2 minutes, she decided to just use her key.

as she entered the front hallway, she surveyed the room. it was quiet. which meant nico wasn't home. she already knew that, seeing as how jesper had informed her of an afternoon skate for the team. and that was why she decided now was the perfect time to get her stuff.

unfortunately, time was not on her side.

just as she was packing up a third box, the front door opened and footsteps approached her bedroom door. she looked up to see nico standing in the doorway.

"you're back."

"just packing up my stuff, nico."

it was then that he finally glanced around the room, taking in all the boxes and the mess on her bed.

"you're leaving?"

"i have to." she stood up and stacked the box onto the others. "i'm taking most of my stuff to a storage unit until i get my own place & i'll be officially out of your hair by friday at the latest."

"i don't want you to go, y/n."

"i don't really have much of a choice, seeing as how you can't stand me being here." y/n brushed by him while she headed to the kitchen.

"come on. you know i didn't mean that."

"it sure seemed like you did." y/n sighed and turned to face him, recognizing for the first time, the tears welling up in his eyes.

"i didn't." he reached out for her but she moved back. "uh, where will you be staying?"

"with a friend. you don't know her. she's from work."

"okay. as long as you're safe, i guess." he ran a hand through his hair. it was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he loved her. "y/n?"

"what?"

"um, nothing. it's not important."

"okay then." she grabbed her favorite mug and headed to the front door. "goodbye, nico."

"goodbye." he muttered to the closed door. he was 2 seconds too late.

the next 2 weeks were harder than ever for nico. and in turn, they were also harder for the team. it was hard on jesper too because he was stuck watching his two best friends slowly shut themselves down.

he couldn't stand it anymore. so after a huge shutout, with the opposing team winning 6-0, jesper walked into y/n's room without knocking.

"dude, what the hell? ever heard of knocking? i could've been naked."

"i really don't care." his tone came out a little more harsh than he intended it to. "i'm sorry. didn't mean to sound rude there." he sighed. "look, you and nico are not children, y/n. but with the way you two are acting, it would sure seem like you were."

"well what do you expect me to do? my best friend decided that after one bad game, he was gonna come home and rip my heart out. and he did it so easily too. that's what hurts the most. like it was building up for years and he was just looking for an excuse to let it out."

"he didn't mean it and you know it. plus, he's apologized so many times. and i'm really tired of you two agonizing over what happened. and nico hates himself for than ever. isn't that good enough for you?" jesper looked at her. "you haven't been to one of our home games in a long time. can you please come to tomorrow night's game?"

"i don't know, jesper. what's in it for me?"

"a happy best friend and 2 weeks of me waiting on you, hand and foot?"

"fine. but it's for you and you only. that means you gotta play your ass off."

"for you? anything." y/n smiled and jesper walked out into the hallway.

the next night, y/n found herself in the stands, watching as jesper passed a shot to nico. he hesitated for a second but it was enough for him to calculate the shot. he took it closer to the net and sent it flying past boston's goalie.

2 minutes later, nico was passing to timo. he also ended up scoring.

2-0 new jersey.

by the end of 2nd period, the score had jumped to 4-0, with 2 assists and a goal from nico.

during the jumbotron flashed each players headshot along with their selected photo. jesper's popped up and it showed him smiling with his team and y/n.

when nico's picture came up, y/n felt her walls breaking down. the picture nico had selected was one of the two of them. he had his arm around y/n and while she was smiling at the camera, nico's eyes were glued to her. he was even sporting the wide smile that prominently showed off his dimples.

her heart melted as she averted her eyes and fiddled with the hem of the jersey she was wearing. it was a hischier jersey and she had been hesitant to put it on before the game. but now it was making her feel warm inside.

as the boys took to the ice for the final period, y/n's eyes instantly glued to nico. she couldn't take her eyes off of him even if she tried. he was her sole focus now. and she loved it.

by the time the game was over, new jersey had shutout the other team 7-0. it was a monumental win and y/n knew they'd be excited so she hurried down to where the girlfriends and families usually were and waited for nico and jesper. as she waited, she chatted with jack's mom, ellen, who had traveled to come see her boys play.

she had her back turned towards the locker room doors when nico walked out. but he knew it was her. he was shocked and pleased she was not only at the game, but wearing a jersey with his name across the back.

he watched as ellen made a gesture and y/n turned around. when their eyes met, nico couldn't stop himself from propelling forward and yanking her in for a hug. he didn't care that she was still mad at him. he needed this more than he thought.

and when she hugged him back just as tight, he glanced down at her.

"you're here." he whispered, as if he was still in disbelief. "you're actually here."

"i know." she smiled. "i didn't want to come at first, but jesper's offer was too tempting to refuse."

"what offer?"

"that man is now my servant for 2 weeks, correct?" she glanced behind nico at the swede who just exited the locker room. he stopped in his tracks and smiled.

"that was the deal, wasn't it?" he chuckled. "wait, does that mean you're staying for 2 more weeks? because i think it'd be difficult to wait on you hand and foot if you're not under the same roof as me."

"you've been staying with jesper this whole time? how did i not piece that together?"

"because you're an idiot." jesper smiled. "but that's okay. we still love you anyway, nico." he patted his captain and walked away.

nico turned back to y/n & his smile began to fall as he came to a conclusion. "you guys aren't, like, hooking up....are you?"

"me and jesper? no. absolutely not, nico." y/n couldn't help but chuckle. and suddenly, she found the courage to tell nico what she recently discovered. "i love you, you idiot."

"well that's a relief." nico chuckled. "wait. me? you love me?"

"yes. i figured it out recently and once i realized how much my life sucked without talking to you every day, i noticed that it was why your outburst hurt way more than it should've. i got scared and after you said you couldn't stand me being there, i realize now that it was because there was no way you loved me too."

"that's not true. i do love you. and i didn't mean what i said." he looked at her. "after you left, actually while you were packing, i knew that it hurt you and i couldn't forgive myself. i wanted to reach out to you over and over again but i figured you needed your space so i stopped after the first night. i wanted you to have the space you needed. but i regret ever uttering those words. they were harsh and extremely uncalled for. we had a bad game but you didn't deserve the frustration and i am so, so sorry."

"nico, it's okay. it's part of your job."

"i never want to do that to you again." his large hands framed her face as he held her. "move back in with me, please? i'll take over jesper's servant duties if that's what it takes." he sighed. "please? i just need you close to me in whatever way you'll allow."

"okay." y/n smiled contently and nico wasted absolutely no time. he was eager to crash is lips to hers. it was everything he had ever dreamed of, and then some.

"i love you so much. it was unbearable being away from you."

"i love you too, neeks. and i'm here to stay."

"good. i'm glad to hear it."

jesper leaned against the wall, not far from his friends, and smiled. they were perfect together and he knew that more than anyone. thank god he was able to push them back together. suddenly, a thought occurred to him.

"wait, does that mean i don't have to be your servant anymore?!"

[abbinurmel]

As someone who's been diagnosed also with this disorder only very recently in my late 30s, I too can attest this is not what normal PMS is for women. Pmdd is a very frequently undiagnosed and serious issue. I for the longest time just thought I was simply an unhinged person or that I'm just having regular PMS symptoms and I'm too sensitive about it. This is not a normal kind of behavior to have; being moody and irritated is not the same thing as constantly feeling like everyone would rather you dead or just unbelievably pissed or crying over everything. There's a clear difference between "uggggh, blah, it's Monday, grumble grumble, I'm tired and wish I could stay home with some tea, hate this, ugh your so annoying right now, sigh mumble grumble grumble... 😑"

and

"I suddenly wonder how it'd be best to kill myself/others and get away with it??...y'know, just for random amusement sake. What are all of the most efficient methods? Hmmmm. I mean I am not sad, not really, okay maybe, but y'know, I just am preparing for the probable inevitiability I am gonna do it someday in the future, we might not know why, but, y'know, we'll figure it out. This isn't a mental disorder symptom, relax, this is me just being numb and tired and "Practical". ...besides, does my boyfriend even love me?? Probably not. I bet everyone else despises me too. I bet they always did. Every month I always piss somebody off, they're all probably so tired of my shit anyway. I'm such a ugly piece of shit and the world is dying and nothing is good and nobody ever loved me and nobody ever will and I'm just a dumbass surrounded by dumbasses and I'm going to decay into a sickly old woman in just three months and-"

STOP.

Kids please, get PROFESSIONAL HELP if this stuff happens to you all the time. Get on Zoloft, or exercise, or take birth control or seek talk therapy, or change your diets, whatever it is you and your gynecologist decide you need. It is not a joke. You need to practice discipline against this thing, and you will need the aid of being able to recognize there's medically something ACTUALLY BEHIND THIS AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Ever since I've been on the right correct dosage of sertraline meds/taking Primrose oil supplements to treat my symptoms, I've already noticed huge difference. It was also a huge difference when I finally managed to get birth control in my arm implant after I turned 30, compared to what I was like every single cycle during my teens and my early twenties. I was an absolute mess. I still get meltdowns from time to time but they are nowhere near the volcanic levels they used to reach, unless stressful unforseen circumstances or someone pushes my buttons in a severe way. It's now so different. NOW I can feel just weary and grumpy, uncomfortable, tired, and "meh". It's about the same as how you emotionally should feel like, while having a minor cold. No one gets a cold, and thinks they are worthless or definitely going to die, be it thru self harm or body dysfunctions they paranoid guess at.

You should just feel KINDA CRUMMY and TIRED. That is all. No worse feeling than dragging yer ass on a cold day out of bed early to a job you begrudgingly tolerate, not even despise... Any friends and loved ones around you (that already respect you) will tolerate that state you are in/be whom they always are. And if they somehow don't, your healthy brain has the dignity and logic to say "well too bad y'all, I am having a COLD, so, I am mucus-y and cranky and gross. It's not a big deal. I just ain't having sex going to work or socializing with family today, deal with it🤷. 🙄 sigh."

If you have PMDD, the above scenario isn't what happens. What happens is tears, cursing, fights, physical abuse or substance abuse or impulsive acts. It's days of neglecting hobbies, chores and self care, just choosing to without telling anyone that you're staying locked up in your bedroom in the dark for hours, and feeling days or weeks of miserable, thoroughly aimless bitterness and ennui. A daily exhausting slog ends up leading into straight up sickening amounts of constant self loathing, severe insomnia, and contempt for humanity and every inch of your body. You will not stop naval gazing or feeling like your life is going nowhere and it can't be ignored for even a minute.

And THE SECOND you bleed, it just... Stops. It's both a relief and actually distressing in itself how abrupt it is. The minute my period happens, I feel 10x less emotionally shitty and unfocused, even if my body is saying AGH, FUCK, SHIT, DAMNIT

Pre-menstrual depression is always depicted as like "He He! I had a box of icecream bars and cried while watching the Titanic!" But in reality, it's more like, "I'm standing the edge of an abyss. There is nothing good inside of me, I'm filled with rage and desperation."

It's crazy that being told how to deal with that is never a part of anyone's menstrual sex education.

[hyunjuenthusiast]

BITTERSWEET (PART 3)

Summary: Y/n has always been sweet to everyone, no matter their background or their appearance. So what happens when Y/n is sweet to the wrong person?

Pairing: Yandere!Hyun-ju x femreader!

Warnings: Yandere tendencies, stalking, obsession, angst, kidnapping, drugging, murder.

PREVIOUSLY

"Yes, yes, I need help! I've been kidnapped, I don't know where I am, please! Help me! I-I live on South Street of Soul!" Y/n explains. The officer's eyes widen.

"Ma'am that can't be." She says, causing Y/n to falter. "W-What?" She says to the officer. The officer looks at her, a little pale.

"Ma'am.... you're in Thailand."

NOW

Y/n sat in the small interrogation room, her hand sat unmoving around a now cold cup of coffee.

The nice police woman who spoke English had stepped out of the room so she could describe the case to her higher-ups.

She could feel a tear slowly make it's way down her cheek. She didn't bother wiping it away.

How did this happen. How could that sick fuck have gotten her into another country without raising any questions?

Her stomach twisted at the thought. She was in Thailand. Moving to Korea had been a heat of the moment decision, one that her best friend had helped her make. After she lost both of her parents, she couldn't stay in that empty house any longer. So she packed everything up and moved to Korea with her best friend.

That turned out to be the worst mistake of her life so far. She loved South Korea. It was beautiful and the people were so kind. Well most of them. Meeting Hyun-ju had been the downfall it seemed.

Even though Hyun-ju acted sweet, nothing could excuse abduction. Nothing. How long had Hyun-ju been festering those feelings of obsession before she decided to kidnap her? What was her end goal? Marriage? Murder? Y/n didn't want to stay and find out.

The moment she heard that she was in a different country, her knees had buckled, sending her to the floor with a sob. The nice police officer had led her into a separate room, asking her about her captor. Y/n had told her everything she knew. But they had no record of a Cho Hyun-Ju here.

She had to have used a fake name and passport to get here, and one for Y/n as well. Y/n even remembered how to get back to the cabin, but Hyun-ju had been a step ahead.

When the police arrived at the cabin, nothing was there. Literally nothing. No clothes, no kitchen appliances. Nothing. It was like no one had been living there.

That scared Y/n. That meant Hyun-ju had recourses. Maybe even people to help her. Y/n was scared that if Hyun-ju were to somehow find her...

She didn't truly know what the woman was capable of, and she didn't want to find out.

Y/n jumped as the police woman came back into the room. She gave Y/n a comforting smile before sitting back down in the chair across from her.

Y/n could tell something was wrong. The way the woman sat was tense. Her eyes held pity. And the words that escaped her mouth made Y/n's stomach drop.

"Ms. Y/l/n... the regulations here in Thailand are a bit different for transport than they are in Korea or in America. I'm afraid that until you have a valid passport, you won't be able to return to Korea."

Fuck. That was the only word in Y/n's head. She could feel her lips trembling, her eyes watering. "H-How long will that take? W-What am I supposed to do? W-Where am I supposed to go?" Y/n asks.

The police woman looks down slightly. "It is routine four to six weeks for the passport, maybe less if you pay more." She says, not looking Y/n in the eye.

"I was kidnapped! How do you expect me to pay for a fucking passport? I didn't even have shoes on when I ran in here! Do you really think I would have grabbed petty cash on the way out of the door? "Oh, that's right, I don't have a passport, let me bring some money just in case!" I didn't even fucking know I was in a different country!" Y/n yells, her chest heaving.

When she sees the look on the police woman's face, she looks down, ashamed. "I-Im sorry." She whispers, her shakey hands coming up to cover her tear stained face.

"You have absolutely no reason to apologize, ma'am." The woman says softly. "I can't say I know what you're going through, because I definitely do not. But if it's any consolation, our agents are working overtime to find this woman. And we will help you as much as we can." She says.

Y/n nods, more tears falling. "Thank you." She whispers. The officer gives her another smile before walking out again. Leaving Y/n alone with her thoughts.

A while later, the lady comes back, asking if Y/n wanted anything to eat. "I'm okay, thank you, though." Y/n said. Not having an appetite.

Instead, the woman just sits and keeps Y/n's mind off of things as things move along. "My name is Mariam, but usually everyone calls me Mary." She says softly, giving Y/n a little bit of comfort.

"It's nice to officially meet you, Mary." She says, fiddling with her fingers. "D-Do you know...w-where im supposed to go? After this, or am I to stay here?" Y/n asks.

"Technically, we can only keep you here for twenty-four hours, and you've been here for nearly twelve already..." Mary says.

Y/n's shoulders drop. "D-Do you know where the nearest hotel is?" She asks, even though she doesn't have money.

Mary sighs, closing her eyes in what looks like guilt. "No. You can stay with me." She says, making Y/n look at her.

"Y-You don't have to do that, I can figure it o-" Mary Inturupts. "I would feel terrible, and I only live about seven minutes up the road. You're a foreigner, and you don't have anywhere to go, I wouldn't be doing my badge justice if I just left you to fend for yourself." She says, Y/n looks down, still unsure.

"I have a spare bedroom. You wouldn't have to sleep on the couch or anything." She says, seemingly trying to sweeten the deal. "T-This is...so kind of you, Mary, thank you." Y/n says tearfully.

Mary gives her a tight smile, which doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"This is it. It looks a little small, but it's home." Mary says as they pull up to her house. Y/n shakes her head. "It's perfect, cozy. Thank you so much, Mary." She says, looking at the officer.

Once they are inside, Y/n looks around. It smells like cinnamon, and it's decorated very simple. It's cute.

"Let me show you to the room." Mary says, and Y/n follows her. They walk down a small hallway to the room, it's small, but it's perfect.

"There's clean towels in the closet if you wanted to take a shower." Mary says, making Y/n hum. "That sounds perfect. Thank you so much." Mary only nods, explaining that she would cook them something for dinner, rolling her eyes playfully when Y/n says that's not necessary.

"You didn't eat at the station, and you're a guest in my home. My momma would roll over in her grave if I didn't treat you with anything but hospitality!" She says, making Y/n smile.

Y/n stands under the hot water, letting the heat relax her. She didn't have many tears left to cry. She was exhausted and now hungry. She felt hope, even though she would be here for a while. She would still be able to go home. Moving back to America sounded like the best thing to do. Korea was nice, but she missed home.

She'd move back into her parents' home and maybe adopt a cat.

Y/n couldn't hear that Mary was on the phone, not with how loud the water was.

"Y-You told me to call you if I knew anything...s-she's in the shower right now. Do you still know how to get here?"

Y/n steps out of the shower, feeling a thousand times better. Her feet still ached from running without shoes. But she was grateful that she had gotten out. That she was free.

She looked at herself in the mirror, and her eye bags were definitely noticeable. Jesus, she would have to do some serious skin care when she gets back home.

After getting dressed in the clothes Mary gave her, she walked out of the bathroom. She puts her clothes on the basket that's in the room.

Fiddling with her wet hair, she walks down the small hallway and into the living room.

She freezes where she stands.

Sitting on the couch...is Hyun-ju.

Y/n looks at her, wide-eyed and scared. Where was Mary? How did she find her?

She takes a step back when Hyun-ju stands up, but Hyun-ju raises her hands, trying to seem like less of a threat.

"I'm not here to hurt you, sweet girl. You know I would never." She says to Y/n softly.

Y/n trembles, not convinced. "H-How did you find me? W-where's M-Mary?" Y/n asks with a quivering lip.

Hyun-ju only continues to look at Y/n softly. "Mariam, she's in the kitchen. She did promise to make you something to eat after all."

Y/n tenses. Her head tilted in confusion and fear. Hyun-ju gives her another soft look. "Mariam needs money for her brother's cancer treatments. I've been more than happy to provide it. She is the chief of police here, after all, and I needed her to be alert in case you did decide to leave me." She explains softly.

Y/n shrinks back. No. Mary wouldn't do that. She was kind and she was a police officer, she wouldn't take dirty money.

"She's cooking pasta. No red sauce. Your favorite. Though, I don't mean to sound arrogant when I say it probably won't be as good as mine." She says, hoping to lighten the mood, which clearly was not working.

Y/n takes another scared step back when Hyun-ju steps forward again. She takes the hint, stopping.

"Your hair is wet, baby. I can dry it for you? Or put it in a braid, I don't think she has a heatless curl set here, but we could try to DIY?" She says, looking at Y/n's wet hair.

Y/n says nothing, not wanting this sick fuck to touch her. "I don't want you to get sick, sweetness. But if you don't want me to, I understand." She says and gestures to the couch. "Please sit with me."

Y/n shakes her head tearfully, her back now against the wall. Hyun-ju frowns, looking down a little. "That's okay. You probably need to stretch your legs, hmm?" Hyun-ju questions with a small smile.

Y/n continues to stay silent. Hyun-ju slightly falters. "I-I know why you left, sweet girl. I understand. You're scared, and you have every right to be." Hyun-ju says.

"But I'd never hurt you. Never. My love for you...it's unconditional. Nothing will ever change that. I love you with my whole heart. I know you're scared of me, baby. But I promise you have no reason to be. Now please, sit." She says.

Y/n stays put for a while but eventually sits in the recliner next to the couch, making Hyun-ju chuckle. "That's not where I was hoping for to sit, but I'll take it." She says.

Y/n tenses as Mary walks into the living room, avoiding Y/n's eyes. She announces that dinner is ready. "We can eat in here, you don't mind, right?" Hyun-ju says, giving a slight glare to Mary, who immediately shakes her head. "O-Of course not, l-let me go get everything." She says, rushing back to the kitchen.

Y/n doesn't relax, especially when Hyun-ju moves to the other side of the couch, closest to where she's sitting in the recliner.

When Mary comes back with the pan full of pasta, she sits it down on the coffee table. Hyun-ju grabs one of the plates and puts some of the pasta on it, then handing the plate over to Y/n, with a soft smile.

Y/n reaches to grab it with shakey hands. Cringing internally as she feels Hyun-ju's fingers brush her own. "T-Thank you." Y/n whispers. "You're most welcome, sweetness!" Hyun-ju responds.

"I was talking to Mary." Y/n says, and Hyun-ju looks to Mary, her gaze now cold. Mary quickly drops her gaze to the floor. "Y-You're welcome." She says.

Y/n doesn't eat immediately, and Hyun-ju notices. "You don't want to try it, sweet girl?" She asks, then gives a cold glare to Mary. Y/n quickly takes a bite. "I-Its good." She says shakily.

Hyun-ju relaxes some. After Y/n only eats half of her plate, she sits it down on the coffee table. Making Hyun-ju frown. "Baby you-" Y/n doesn't care what she has to say. Standing up. "I have to go to the bathroom." She says, making Hyun-ju tense. She also sets her plate down. "I'll help you, swee-" fuck no. "I'm perfectly capable of going to the bathroom on my own!" She quickly says.

"Of course, baby. We'll just be in here." Hyun-ju says. Y/n quickly sprints to the bathroom. Locking the door and breathing heavy. Why was this happening? Why would Mary do this? The window!

She tries with all her strength to get the bathroom window open, but it won't budge. She allows herself to cry. Only to jump when she hears a loud pop.....

It was a gunshot.

SLAY? What do we think so far?! I'm working on all of your requests rn don't worry🙏🏻😭

[quinnverse]

"Not even to me? Well, that sounds like a challenge. And I'm never one to back down from a challenge." Emma narrowed her eyes, arching a single brow as she spoke. Being around him had already proved to be quite the challenge when it came to her sanity, but now she wasn't entirely sure how to proceed with her life. When the sun rose, things would be different. Perhaps not drastically and perhaps not even noticeably on the outside, but Emma would know something had changed. And she could only hope it wasn't a change to be regretted.

"Iron trap or not," She cooed, leaning in once more to press a gentle kiss against his lips. "You don't seem to be very opposed to what my mouth can do."

Although she fought to maintain as seductive an expression as she could, Emma's focus faltered and a cheeky smile cracked across her features. It was difficult to think that mere weeks ago, she had been floating along in life without someone like him. To think that her life might've carried on in such an untethered, unbothered way without a John Bolton in it felt strange.

“I feel the same. It feels like…” She hesitated, closing her eyes as she thought for a moment. “It feels like drowning. Like my lungs are filling with water and I’m sinking deeper and deeper, but there’s the weightlessness to it, the urge to let it take me fully." Opening her eyes again, Emma met his gaze and a fierce flush crept onto her cheeks. "It makes me wonder if it’s always supposed to be like this.”

Did her mother feel this way when she’d met her father? Did her parents experience this same earth-shattering turbulence that Emma was feeling? It was jarring and exciting but she never knew whether it was better to lean into the flow or to fight against the tides. Both ended in heartache. Either she fought against fate, pushed him away and tried to carry on as normal, or she allowed herself to be swept away in the currents and risk getting lost along the way.

She knew who she was. She was Emma Elizabeth Dunster, only child of John and Claire and the future owner of Dunster Shipping Company. She'd always known who she was and who she was supposed to be. But the Emma she'd always known had always been alone and unattached. She had friends and family members to keep her afloat, but her heart had always remained marooned and isolated. A part of her, a rather large part, feared that if she allowed herself to welcome someone else into her heart, she wouldn't know who she was anymore. She knew Emma as a singular entity, but she had no idea who Emma in Love was or could be. And the unknown terrified her.

I don't think you're a harlot. His words snapped her out of the mental spiral she'd began to descend into, meeting his gaze with a hesitant, shy smile. I never have.

“No, I suppose you didn’t. You more than likely thought me a prudish shrew to be tamed. And I'm willing to bet you thought of yourself as a modern day Petruchio.” Lowering her voice, Emma preened, gesturing to their entwined bodies with a smirk. "But I find it rather hard to tell who, exactly, has tamed who in this instance."

I'm rather easy to please. At this, Emma let out a laugh, louder than she intended and it swiftly turned into a hushed fit of giggles. "And here I was, thinking I'd have to try much harder to impress a man like you."

She sobered a bit at his words, her smile giving way to a soft pursing of lips. He was right. Humans often fought hard to conceal the worst of themselves, only wishing to put forth the very best parts for the world to see. Emma hid far more parts of herself than she cared to admit, but it had all been a means of survival. If she wanted to be respected, she couldn't be seen as dainty or feminine. If she wanted people to take her seriously, to believe that she could serve in a leadership position, she had to conceal the gentler, more romantic sides of herself.

“And what about you, John? What parts do you hide away from the world?” Lightly, she traced her finger in circles across his chest, hoping to tease out some sort of secret from him. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

“Is that your way of asking me to stop kissing you?”

Benjamin snorted, his lips quirking incredulously. "I never beg, nor do I surrender anything, Miss Dunster -- not even to you. Though admittedly..." Here, he watched her beneath low lashes, suppressing a shudder as her breath tickled his mouth. "You are putting up a very valiant effort."

Fool! he thought. Was this not the perfect opportunity to sever all ties? To push Emma away rather than yank her in closer? This would only end in the most violent of tragedies, and yet he was willingly barreling headfirst into the abyss.

I'm sorry, he wished to beg, but instead, he brushed his lips over her forehead, soothing himself with the stability of her presence.

“I guess that’s fair," Emma hummed, "but don’t think I’ll forget what you said. My mind is an iron trap, Bolton.”

Despite his nerves, Benjamin snorted. "From what I've gathered, your mouth is an iron trap too," he teased.

Admittedly, Emma's question took him aback. "I haven't felt forced into this, if that's what you're implying," he cautiously treaded, "but...it is a new experience for me. I've never...I-I've never felt this much for anyone before." His face heated beneath her gaze, and he swallowed, his throat bobbing reflexively. "I have no way to contain it."

The air felt stale between them, and Benjamin remained deathly still, almost afraid to reach out to touch, to take, lest she shatter beneath his palms and evade him just as she had in his never-ending nightmares.

“Since we’re confessing our deceit, I’ve never been with a man, either."

Benjamin hesitated at that, his brow furrowing.

Emma seemed to misunderstand his response. "I know, it's quite shocking, but it’s true.”

"I don't think you're a harlot," he lowly said, his gaze softening as he cupped her cheek. "I never have."

“I’ve kissed boys before. Before now, that is. But I’ve never taken one to bed myself. Though, I suppose I never realized how easy it was to do.”

Her fingers stroked along his jaw, careful and slow -- far more gently than a woman of her fire and ice tended to exhibit -- and yet Benjamin found himself melting into her touch.

"What can I say? I'm rather easy to please," he murmured, kissing the pad of her thumb as it swept across his mouth.

“So much for your hedonistic harlot, huh? It seems neither of us have really shown our true selves.”

He froze at that, his spine growing rigid. True selves... Was that something he could possibly grasp at this point in his life? Could Benjamin ever go back to the man he once was, or had the war eradicated the boy he'd been, and merely devoured him and spit out a man?

"I...I think it's human nature to wish to conceal our very worst parts," he carefully offered. "But Emma, if this is your absolute worst, then perhaps you should consider the monastery." His lips quirked into a wry smile at his quip, but his heart thundered like horse hooves against cobblestone. He was a liar, a blackguard, and he had no idea how to justify such a thing in her eyes.

[weewookinard]

A thank you to the BuckTommy/911 community

Earlier tonight my mom called me and told me about my dad's day. Today was the anniversary of their meeting. They had a nice day together, full of love and memories. My dad gave my mom a pen so she could "write a new chapter of their love story".

Mom said that he's so tired, he's giving up. He doesn't care about waiting for his birthday, he is ready to leave before it. He arranged his funerals, said what he wanted, met the priest and at the end he even made peace with someone dear he had not talked to in 11 years.

But his birthday is on saturday. And my mom and the doctors think he'll be gone before this.

So yeah, it's the end my friends. I would love to thank you all for the love, the help, the money, the messages, the thoughts and the prayers. It's been four awful months but it will soon be over. You listened to me hoping and then giving up and you did all you could to cheer me up.

For thoses who gave me money thank you, you helped me spend a little more time with him and i cannot tell you how important it was for me. I was able to tell him goodbye. I will see now what I can do for his last farewell.

I will try and message every person who helped but you are all so many! So, thank you Nadja, Jacklyn, Julie, Jennifer, Korinna, Sibylle, Gabriela, Windsor, Samantha, Riley, Vanessa, Melissa, Jaime, Michelle P., Alexandra, Jeanne-Marie, Christopher, Lisa, Karen, Klaar, Michelle S. and Lucie. Thank you to everybody who shared my GoFundMe too. I'll give you the link here one last time before I close it next week.

My dad wants us to scatter his ashes in Corsica, a place dear to his heart. Which means I'll have to skip work next weed. If you are able to, and only if you can, please help me with this last trip with him.

I'll never forget how the BuckTommy/911 community helped me say goodbye to my dad.

I love you all,

Marie

[nubiawrites]

chapter six

Pairing: Aaron Pierre x Black Original Character

Warnings: Slow burn. 18+. Smut. oral (giving). toyplay.

Summary: a night in with Aaron has Iriye ready to risk it all as production of Paradise Lost hits a snag.

Notes: I'm still thinking about Aaron's sleeve. Please let me know what you think about this chapter and where things are going. All the love that has been shared with me excites me.

MASTERLIST

Focus was something Iriye was lacking at the moment. Completely. Especially when she was in the kitchen with the fine specimen, currently chopping up onions on the special marble cutting board in her kitchen, and her eyebrows knitted together as Aaron worked. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose as he worked, and Iriye stopped going through her fridge to move over to him, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

Aaron turned to face her, a small smile coming on her face. She returned the smile, returning to grab the chicken she had seasoned earlier for the rasta pasta she had planned to make.

“I didn’t take you for someone who was such a good cook,” Aaron teased. Iriye playfully glared at him.

“Well, I’m not going to oversell you, but I can at least cook to survive,” Iriye said, moving to find her wooden cutting board. And by cooking to survive, I can call my mom and ask her for help when I’m flailing. " This might have been the night before when Iriye called, needing the pasta recipe her mom often cooked when she was a kid.

“I respect that,” Aaron said, moving the onions into a bowl she set aside. “I hope I didn’t send you into a tizzy when I asked to see you tonight,”

“You didn’t. I was glad you wanted to see me again,” Iriye admitted. “I mean, after the night we had… and the morning,” She was trying to be cool about it, her mind thinking about how he woke her up,”

“Turn over for me,” Aaron breathed. Iriye raised an eyebrow but did what he said, remembering she only wore his shirt. He pushed the material up, moving to reveal her bare backside. Aaron moved behind her and pulled her hips up till she was on her knees, back arched. She felt his hand spread her cheeks, giving him a peek of her pussy.

“Aaron…” She moaned in anticipation, wanting to know what he would do. But she didn’t have to wait further when he began licking at her lower lips from behind…

“That was quite the morning,” Aaron mentioned, and Iriye felt her cheeks warm as he looked at her as if he would eat her again. A girl could hope. 

“It was,” Iriye smiled. “How has shooting been for Lanterns,” The grin that appeared on Aaron’s face lit up the room and she listened as the man began to yap on as they cooked the rest of their meal.

Iriye and Aaron sat at her dining room table, plates finished as they continued talking.

“Do you think you’ll ever get used to being in the limelight?” Iriye asked him, his hand playing with her fingers.

“I don’t know, honestly,” Aaron admitted. “Everyone’s at the top one day and the next, they’re yesterday’s news,”

“I doubt that for you,” Iriye shrugged. “You’re good at this. Acting. You put your whole soul in it. Like, I can tell you enjoy what you do. What you bring to a scene,” 

A small smile crept up on Aaron’s face at those words, and he lifted her hand and kissed its back. 

“I’m glad you think so,” Aaron kissed her hand again. “But sometimes I wish I could just do my job and go home. Not to deal with the extra,” He said.

“Being toted around like a show pony,” Iriye stated. “You know how many agents and managers I had meetings with before I signed with my current one? Eighteen. I felt like none of them saw me. I was just some diversity quota to fill up their clientele roster. And then I met my current manager, Devery. I thought he was this total gym bro, and then he told me one of the details I put in a script. A little tradition my mom and her people would do back in Kingston. And he loved it. Of course, I thought he was about to ask a question about it. But he researched it. It seems tiny but it meant everything to me. After that meeting, I wanted him to sign me, and we’ve been working together ever since,”

“Well, it seems he has your best interest at heart,” Aaron said, Iriye shrugging.

“He does. To have someone that has your back along the way. It's worth its weight in gold,” Iriye explained. She moved to take their plates to the kitchen, feeling his hand trailing against hers as he let go. She came back, seeing he was quiet. She placed her hands on his shoulders. “Whatcha thinking about?”

Aaron kissed her hand and pulled her around to stand before him. 

Aaron nodded. “I just want to make sure I do right by you, Tamara, Nelly, and everything Lanoire Productions is with Paradise Lost. " 

“You are going to kill it, Aaron,” Iriye tilted his head to look at her, his hazel eyes peering at her dark brown ones. “This story is going to flourish on the big screen with you in it, and I’m not just saying that to stroke your ego,” 

Aaron smiled, his hands smoothing up the back of her thighs, his hands almost catching the silk dress she wore.

“You have a call time, tomorrow,” Iriye stated, remembering him mentioning that he had to be to the lot.

“I know,” Aaron nodded, his hands moving to cup her ass, pulling her till she was straddling his lap. Her hands touched his neck, slowly scratching at the skin, and she licked her lips as she heard him groan. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything?” Iriye said.

“This doesn’t bother you? You know… staying in,” Aaron asked. Iriye looked at him. “I don’t want you to think I like us in these four walls only,”

“You only like me when we’re alone. Well damn,” Iriye teased.

“I like you everywhere, Iriye,” Aaron said. “I want to take you on a proper date one of these days… if you would like to,”

Iriye felt her cheeks warm at the words.

“You’re making it hard to find the red flags, Aaron,” Iriye admitted. She moved to stand up. “So? Are you going to ask me on a date?”

Aaron shook his head at her as he watched Iriye look at her wrist, acting as if she was checking the time. He stood up, his six-foot-three towering over her five-foot-eight frame.

“Will you let me take you out on a date, Iriye?” He asked.

“Of course, Aaron,” She answered quickly. “You have a call time,”

“I know,” Aaron kissed her softly, his hands gripping and squeezing her waist. Iriye moaned as she felt him grabbing her.

“My place is further from the lot,” Iriye reasoned between kisses. “You need… you need a good night's sleep. Because you’re playing a beacon of class and strength,”

“Yo!” Aaron breathed out, Iriye giggling.

“I’m serious. You got a long drive from Baldwin Hills to your place,” Iriye mentioned. “You need to rest,”

“Then put me to bed,” Aaron suggested, raising an eyebrow at her. Iriye bit her lip before leaning on her toes, pressing a tender kiss against his. “We’re going straight to bed. No funny business,”

“No funny business. Scouts honor,” Aaron raised his hand like a boy’s scout, and Iriye rolled her eyes. Iriye took his hand, and he pulled her back into his body as they walked together into her bedroom.

Iriye felt some distance was needed, and while she showered, she left Aaron to his imagination while he was in her room. He made himself comfortable, taking in the most intimate space Iriye had for herself. He set his two alarms on his phone so he could get up and stripped down till he was left in his boxer briefs. He didn’t want to impose on her space, but he took in the different photos and trinkets.

On her bedside table, Aaron saw a picture of her with a woman with the same features as her but was slightly older. He picked up it was her mother as he noticed different photos of them around her room. He smiled because they shared the same smile, finding the beauty in them both. Random pens littered the nightstand, and charging cables were entangled. It was homey and right for Iriye.

The bathroom door opened, and steam billowed out as Iriye shut the door behind her. She opted to change in the bathroom, knowing she would be distracted by him if she got dressed.

When Iriye saw Aaron on her bed, she moved to the right side, where she had slept. She grabbed her scarf and tied it around her head. She then opted for a crop top she had cut herself and sleep shorts to ensure this man got to bed for his call time.

“You need more pillow cause I have some in the chest,” She asked.

“I’m alright, love,” Aaron said, slipping under the covers with her. She settled under the covers, mirroring him as they lay on their sides. “Come here,” Iriye tried to resist, but Aaron snaked his hands around her waist and pulled her close.

“Hi,” Iriye breathed. “Can you turn off the lamp?” She asked. He turned to switch it off, and the room was engulfed in darkness except for the moonlight peaking slightly through her blinds. Even through the darkness, she felt his eyes on her, his hand massaging her hip with his thumb. They were in a comfortable silence, and she loved it. “You didn’t go snooping through my draws while I was showering, did you?”

“Never would dream of it. Don’t want to encroach on any secrets you might have,” Aaron teased.

“Not even my panties drawer,” She teased. 

“Definitely not that,” Aaron chuckled.

“Hm. Too bad. You would have found something really interesting while snooping,” Iriye moved to turn her backside to him. “Night, Aaron,” Though she knew they needed to sleep, like clockwork, he pressed his hands on her hips, and she felt him growing harder against her ass.

“You can’t say stuff like that and then tell me to go to sleep,” Aaron complained, knowing he meant it teasingly.

“You know nothing good comes this late at night,” Iriye nuzzled into her pillow, trying not to let out a gasp as feeling him against her backside.

“What was it?” Aaron asked, whispering against her ear. She could feel the heat radiating from his chest. Iriye tried her best, but this man behind her drove her crazy.

“Turn the lamp on,” Iriye said. He quickly reached out to turn it back on. She shuffled over to her side of the bed and opened the drawer, pulling the device and holding it close to her chest. “Okay. You gotta promise not to laugh,”

“I promise,” Aaron spoke, turning to lay on his stomach and look at her. Iriye turned and showed him the device, and seeing his eyes widen at the vibrating wand was something else.

“Something to help me sleep at night,” Iriye admitted. She was nervous. Not because of her healthy sex life with another person or even solo but because Aaron was silent. His face was blank as he looked at her vibrator. “I think I broke the boy from South London,” 

“Can I see it?” Aaron asked. Iriye raised an eyebrow at him. “I wanna see it,” She handed it over to him, chuckling.

“What are you up to,” Iriye asked. A slight grin came on Aaron’s face. 

“Lay back,” Aaron pushed the covers further down to the end of the bed. She eyed him before propping herself up on the pillows. He set the vibrator to the side and moved to tug his fingers into her shorts, pulling slightly to ask to take them off. Iriye lifted her hips to help him, her lower half now bare. It didn’t help that her pussy was growing wetter as she felt his eyes on her. “Take off your top,”

Iriye didn’t waste time taking her pajama top off, leaving her bare before Aaron. She laid back, spreading her legs as he got between them. He made sure to put her spread legs on his thighs so he couldn’t escape.

“I’ll go to sleep after I get to play with your beautiful pussy,” Aaron stated. Iriye couldn’t even control herself. She pulled him close, her lips on his as she arched her body against him.

Aaron’s tongue licked against her lips before slipping inside her mouth, tongue fighting for dominance as they made out against the bed. Her hand grasped at his hard dick, Aaron groaning against her mouth. He pulled away, seeing her nipples growing harder, and he moved to kiss down her body, his mouth wrapping around her right nipple and sucking it softly.

Iriye whined out with every pull from his lips on her nipple. Aaron let it go with a smack before moving to the neglected one, sucking it as well. She felt every pulse going to her center, her body aching for it and for him. 

“Fuck Aaron…” Iriye pressed her breast closer to his mouth. Aaron pulled away, and she pulled him to kiss her again, her hips rolling up and pressing against his clothed length.

“Relax,” Aaron breathed against her lips. Iriye hummed, nodding at him. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of him as he grabbed the vibrator, configuring it quickly to start at a low hum. Iriye reached for it, but Aaron pulled it from her. “I thought you were going to let me have control,”

“I am,” Iriye whined.

“Then we are going slow, baby,” Aaron gave her a grin before he moved the vibrator over one breast, her nipple hardening even more under the vibrations. Her back arched, and she felt him move to her other nipple, the vibrations steadily making her grow wetter.

Aaron bit his lip as he watched Iriye rolling her hips towards the vibrator in his hand. Lips parted as moans spilled from her; Iriye was feeling like he was torturing her. She was used to going fast and hard most nights when she knew she would be busy. She wanted to get off those nights. But Aaron was determined to make her feel.

“Aaron,” She breathed, her hips rolling against the vibrator as he kept pressing it against her clit, listening to her gasps and moans so he could move the toy to what spots were making her react. She wanted to shut her legs, but he was between them. “Please, Aaron,”

“You want me to turn it up,” Aaron teased, leaning down to kiss her lips, his thumb brushing against her bottom lip. “Talk to me, love,”

“Turn it up,” Iriye breathed. She whined out as he pressed the buttons, and the vibrations came faster.

Aaron watched how her body rolled towards him, his hand slipping to hold her down against the bed by her stomach. He was so hard, his length begging to feel her, but he wanted to make sure she got hers first. He pressed down a little, flicking the wand against her, and Iriye moaned louder.

“Fuck,” Iriye moaned, pressing closer to her toy. Aaron groaned as he could hear her getting wetter as the vibrator worked against her. She was all breaths and moans, her hands moving to her breast, squeezing and teasing her nipples.

“Take the vibrator,” Aaron ordered her. Iriye took it in her hand, and she felt Aaron slip his fingers inside of her. She whined as he caressed his fingers inside of her, touching her g spot, and she whined. “God, you’re so fucking wet,” Aaron leaned over, his lips colliding with hers and she moaned into his mouth. One hand trailed to cup his cheek as his fingers, caressing the spot inside of her that made her go wild inside of her.

“Mhm,” Iriye moaned, his teeth pulling on her bottom lip as she felt him moving his fingers in and out of her. She wanted more. She needed more. 

Aaron’s lips trailed down to her neck as he continued to thrust his fingers into her, feeling her walls fluttering more and more around his fingers. His lips went to nibble and bite at her collarbone, nibbling at her collarbone. He wanted to leave his mark on her like Iriye was slowly leaving on him. Her whimpers and moans ringing through his ears and him looking up at Iriye to see her head in the pillow and her body rolling sensually against his as she got closer to her end.

Aaron’s hand went over Iriye’s and he took a hold of the vibrator, watching as she peeped her eyes to look at him.

“I’m… close,” Iriye let out between a moan. Aaron began moving his fingers more to fet her closer to her hand. “More…” Aaron took her words and he pressed it to the next setting on the vibrator, the buzzing louder and faster as more moans, whimpers and cries left her mouth. He focused his attention on m oving his fingers faster, testing the waters and slipping a third finger inside of Iriye.

Iriye wanted to pull away when he pressed a third finger in, the stretch feeling so good amd him testing the waters as he watched her. Aaron kissed her again, moaning into her mouth.

“I wish I could feel you wrapped around me,” Aaron whimpered against her lips. Iriye kissed him back, her tongue pressing to lick inside of his mouth. 

“I want you, Aaron,” Iriye moaned. His fingers moved inside of her faster, his finger tips pressing just the write way as she could hear how wet her pussy was around his fingers. She was so close, that edge right there and with a certain flick of his wrist as he pressed back into her, she felt her body fall over it.  Iriye cried out her orgasm against his lips as he focused on making sure she got every bit of it.

Aaron wanted it all. He wanted every moan of hers. Every cry that graced her lips. Every moment of pure pleasure she had to offer. He continued pressing the vibrator against her, his fingers fucking every whimper out of her as he prolonged her orgasm till she weakly pushed him away. 

“Aaron,” Iriye breathed weakly. He pulled the vibrator away to turn it off, slowly pulling his fingers out and licking the essence that covered them as he watched her blissed out face. Iriye worked onc atching her breath, pussy still throbbing from aftershocks. “I want you,” She whispered.

“I want you too, love,” Aaron said. Iriye kissed him again and he wrapped her up closer to him but she stopped him. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Iriye whined. A grin took over Aaron’s face, his hand moving to her chin. She pressed closer to him and he grasped her hips. “As much as I want to, we won’t leave this bed,” Aaron stated. “I’ll want to taste every inch of your body and leave no patch of skin untouched,” He caressed her thigh and she whimpered. 

Iriye moaned at his words and he kissed her, his tongue slipping into her mouth. 

“I promise, it’ll be worth it,” Aaron said, trailing a finger between her breast. Iriye looked up into his eyes and she could tell it would be worth it. She nodded and he sealed it with a kiss.

The thoughts of the night before replayed through Iriye’s head, knowing she should be focusing on Tamara’s words as she spoke to her and Nelly during lunch. But all she could think about was when she and Aaron would fu-

“Earth to Iriye,” Tamara raised a brow at her friend. “You listening,”

“Yeah, I am,” Iriye looked between a concerned Tamara and smirking Nelly. “What?”

“You’re chewing the hell out of your food. Thought you might bite your tongue or something,” Tamara chuckled. “So, the camera test footage looks good but the executives want to float someone else into the mix for Nora,”

“But we like Sam for Nora,” Iriye tried her best not to be annoyed.

“Well it landed with someone. Vivian Kincaid,”

“Shut up,” Nelly whispered. “I love that  talented messy bitch,”

“Vivian Kincaid? No,” Iriye shook her head. “I get it. She’s the wonder girl for WB but at this moment, we’re locking in Sam,”

“They want her and Aaron to test together. See how it goes,” Tamara said. “I don’t think they will touch what Sam and Aaron did but she reached out Davis directly he said. I guess she’s looking for a more serious role for a comeback,”

“But this could be a breakout for Sam,” Iriye stated. “She’s worked jsut as hard as us to get to this point,”

“I think it’s more of a formality of letting Vivian throw her hat in. I wouldn’t worry,” Tamara said. She checked her phone when it rang. “It’s Jay…” Iriye tried her best not to roll her eyes at the mention of her ex. “He asked to talk about some camera shit. I’ll keep it short and cute,” Tamara stood up, pressing a kiss to Iriye’s head and leaving her with Nelly.

“So…” Nelly said. Iriye rolled her eyes playfully. 

“Ask away,” Iriye said.

“I didn’t tell anyone what I saw with you and Mister Pierre,” Nelly teased. “What is going on with you two?”

Iriye tried not to smile too hard as she thought of the man who she shared an innocent shower with earlier that morning. The one who she walked down to his car because she wanted to make sure he go to the studio on time, kissing him slowly against his car in the early dawn of morning. But she couldn’t help it.

“We’re just… taking things slow,” Iriye admitted, even if she was ready to spread her legs for him if he asked in a hearbeat. 

“Taking things slow my ass,” Nelly teased. “But it’s cute. I’m happy to see you having fun. And if he’s not showing you a good time or treating you right, I’ll kick his ass. I don’t care if he’s six foot two,”

“Six foot three,” Iriye corrected.

“I knew you were obsessed with him,” Nelly shook her head.

After lunch, Iriye made it back to the production office, seeing a bouquet of lilies waiting by the door. She smiled, picking them up and heading inside of her office. She knew Tamara and Nelly were busy on the lot and she would have the afternoon to herself so she put the flowers at her desk. Finding the card attached with them, she read it was from Aaron and smiled to herself.

Iriye picked up her phone, sending him a text along with a thank you for her flowers. It ook him a few minutes but he called her, Iriye putting it on speaker.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the flowers. I figured I should properly court you,” Aaron’s voice flowed through the phone.

“Properly court me?” Iriye laughed softly.

“Yes. I’m kind of disappointed I didn’t send you flowers before getting a taste of your personal garden,”

“You better be in your trailer,”

“I am. But let me focus. By properly courting you, I was wondering what plans you have Friday night,” Aaron asked. Iriye hummed, pretending to check her schedule. “Nothing at the moment,” Iriye replied.

“Good. May I take you out Friday night?” Aaron asked. “I promise. You won’t regret what I have in store for you,”

“Yes, Aaron. You can take me out Friday,” Iriye smiled to herself. Even with the nerves she felt, it was refreshing and terrifying but Aaron was someone she wanted to see the end of this journey with.

@wildwomanalereyia @teenage-aria @skvrpion @absentmindeddreamer @blackpinup22 @liv10002 @styleismyaddiction @jungwonsgfs @hooliemooliedonutshawp @hippiesandpeacesigns @blowmymbackout @justagirlwho-believes13 @caribbeangyalsworld @melovedorks @moihasarrived @ashanti-notthesinger @xx-mintyxx @iluvchrisbrown @ash-ketchumzzz @deijalee @pyramidlight @xosharieee @kaylaahisthebestest- @chaniceandrea @kimmivlixx @saveadanc @kaylalb @queenbritbrat @kceeee @naughtynolly-blog @myawesome56 @chainingxday @nononoks-blog @kinginwithbreezy-blog @apple123cg @jazziejax @lauren1000000 @withoutmusiclifewouldbflat @venusincleo @loveschrisbrown20 @brwnskingirlll @iamfredtina @cozyashhh @modelmemoirs @kimiasinterlude @rpayn22 @mscarter123 @lolola22267 @thesweetestdrug @valarghoulis @nyifly22 @zimsilandela @teheeboo @blveeeeeee @5starsirl @yassbishimvintage @23jammy @prettiegal @vadeadiugularis @gabbywontlose @pinkkycherrish @slashervalley @aqueenwasmadehere @lee-jennie @wuzzzgoood

[heartstringsduet]

Favorite Fandom moments (this got way too long who is surprised) Thanks for tagging me: @tellmegoodbye @nisbanisba @reyesstrand

@welcometololaland @rmd-writes

@she-walked-away @everlastingday @strandnreyes

1. I binged season 1-3 in December 2022 by myself. A fun fact about me, i HATE procedurals. Usually I can manage a few episodes and enjoy them and then I think the formula of episodic rescues/crime solving is too boring. I thought I could maybe stay for the hot gay dudes I saw on my dash. But I fell in love with so much more than that. I rarely have shows with ensamble casts where I genuinely really like all characters. Michelle is the only exception. Goddamn that woman should only play faeries for the rest of her life. And weirdly, something I appreciate is watching these three seasons all by myself. It allowed me to really take the episodes in without any outside opinions or controversies or even over-hyping through others. I loved the show all by myself. And though a part of me wishes I would have found it earlier, I find a lot of joy in having these three seasons locked deep in my own heart, just for me.

2. Okay after all that too long blabbering, of COURSE I have to say the friends I made. Friendship has always been my biggest source of joy. Always. And I'm so blessed to have so many friends in my life, and more blessed to add people on my dash to them. If we text sometimes/often/daily or I just like your personal posts, know that I really care for what you put out there. You all matter to me, and I mean that.

3. Meeting some of you peeps IRL. And hoping to expand the list 💓

4. Sending out Holiday cards. Truly, I love doing it so much, even if the production last year was stressful I hope this year people will still be here and be interested in getting my lil card. And ofc I loved the ones I got back.

5. How creative and wonderful this fandom is. We are quite smol, but look at the big things we create. 2022 was the toughest year of my life, and a lot of what followed was an ebb and flow mentally, but one thing thatr eally helped me was to be more creative. And I thank every one of you who has left comments or sweet tags or created something themselves that keeps me motivated.

6. The Hello! Rafa/Ronen photoshoot . Still lives in my head rent-free.

7. Having people beta-read my humble writing. It helps me a lot! Just like reading fics by people whose writing I admire (y'all basically).

8. Fandom events. Like Gotcha charity, but also the Holiday exchanges and the watch parties and the server and so many little things in the cosmos of this fandom.

9. Even the disagreements. Idk. Very family dynamic to me and I don't mean to downplay how marginalized people are affected by some of it. But you tell me you hate someone's outfit and I will lovingly side-eye you like a cousin. It kind of is necessary to the eco system of fandom to not all be harmonious.

10. Most of all, how welcoming this fandom was from the very beginning. I try to be part of that. If I ever annoy you with engaging with personal posts, that's why. I want you to feel heard.

OPEN TAG (please use it if you want to participate and tag me back so I see!)

@herefortarlos @tellmegoodbye @paperstorm @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @lightningboltreader @reasonandfaithinharmony

@alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk

@rangersoup @freneticfloetry @literateowl @firstprince-history-huh

@neversleepuntilfive @certifiedflower @ironheartwriter @henrygrass

@never-blooms @whatsintheboxmh @girlsnightout304 @bonheur-cafe

@lutavero @guardian-angle22 @toomanycupsoftea @actual-sleeping-beauty

@butchreyes @goodways @thisbuildinghasfeelings @ladytessa74 @lemonlyman-dotcom

@birdclowns @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @ameriicansrequiems @ambiguouspenny

@liminalmemories21 @louis-ii-reyes-strand @chicgeekgirl89 @fitzherbertssmolder

[mullermilkshake]

PART TWO - Kento Nanami x Fem!Reader x Satoru Gojo

Gojo worms his way inside. Tags -Yandere!Reader,Thoughts on murder,References to poison,Knives and cutting,Threats of burning,Mentions of masturbation,Threats of decapitation,Coercive behaviour,Yandere,Sexual tension

How did you convince Kento to allow Satoru Gojo into his home again?

Oh right, apparently you and Gojo became acquaintances after he ‘quit’ his job at that restaurant and by a random extremely slim chance, he took a job up at the coffee shop.

Kento was far too intelligent to fall for it, so how did he? You remembered how much you tried to convince him otherwise, but with Gojo breathing down your neck threatening Kento’s life, you didn’t exactly have a choice.

I’m going to kill that bastard in his sleep one of these days. Gojo’s muscular build put you at a disadvantage, but there were other ways you could skin a cat. Poison for example, just drop it in his drink and watch him choke over the entree before he had a chance to grab the fork from the napkin and stick Kento with it.

Maybe the old fashion throat slit would better suit a man of his calibre? The joy you’d get from seeing him struggle underneath you with all that fear in his eyes brought you more joy than presents on Christmas.

Though in the little time you’d known Gojo for, something told you that he’d like that.

Sadistic son of a bitch. 

“Can you pass me the salt please, Darling?”

You blinked at him and registered what he asked for. “Yes- yes, of course.”

“Thank you.” He took the shaker and watched Gojo with a suspicious side eye. “So, Gojo. How are you finding your new job at the coffee shop? It’s quite a different change of pace from an upscale restaurant.”

Gojo watched you just the same. “Well, life’s short right? I’ve always loved a challenge.”

How was it that only you could sense the weight of the atmosphere? Kento just didn’t react to it, or he just didn’t let on. All you wanted to do was scream out and tell him what a deranged man Gojo was. The thing about Satoru Gojo you gauged fairly quickly was how he followed through with his promises. One little promise and Utahime had been off work for two weeks refusing to see anyone.

She never came in the day after she started gushing over Kento and made a comment that upset you. You never got a chance to shove a small hessian pouch of decaf coffee beans down her throat so that she choked and lost her voice. Gojo did something far worse.

He stole that opportunity to get Utahime out of the way entirely and never told you what he did. Such a dramatic man who ruined the experience for you. 

“I'm actually thinking of leaving the coffee shop. Put my qualifications to good use.” You said, fiddling with your fork to throw Gojo off.

“You’re thinking of pursuing an academic role?” Kento smiled softly and rested his hand on your exposed knee. “That’s nice.”

“Yeah, I can go into teaching straightaway really. I’m thinking of applying for some positions before the next school year.”

Take that you creepy bastard. 

Gojo had not said one word, you noticed his jaw clenching as leant on his hand off to the right. You could see the subtle change in his eyes, something Kento obviously did not see. Anger? Rage? Or…

You looked down at Kento’s arm, his hand had moved from your knee and now hung off the back of your chair, thumbing a little dip of your neck delicately as though on instinct.

He’s so affectionate, how can anyone get more perfect than him? 

The man across the table grasped his fork in his hand to make his knuckles white as though it was made in the form of a warning. ‘Don’t mess with me.’ 

You sat back into Kento’s hand and folded your arms, watching him in the sudden silence to respond. ‘Try me you ignorant prick.’ 

“I dunno,” Gojo composed himself. “If you left now, we’d lose one pretty… good barista if you ask me.” 

His grip never faltered and it was close to shaking, trembling at his strength. A behaviour to exhibit strength and show the weaker one what damage he could do. Deer did the exact same thing, rutting with each other until they claimed victory to show those weaker not to fuck about or they’d get impaled. Sort of the same as that fork in his hand although not as small and discreet. 

Oh, and deers got to fuck their counterparts after. 

Something you dreaded thinking about because you wanted to forget about it. Gojo’s speech in the bathroom, his closeness and blunt nature admitting he wanted you. Like… wanted you. You simply denied him that and look where it got you, the man was a menace and never let up until you’d grown sick of him showing up at the coffee shop.

Fucking stalker, nowhere near chivalrous like Kento. 

And the fact that he knew your dark side, the one you struggled keeping tied up like someone who inconvenienced Kento in some way shoved in the trunk of your car, made it difficult to process. It grew more and more problematic the longer he was in your's and Kento’s lives. Holy fuck, you really wanted to kill that man, climb over the table and launch yourself like a flapping fish right in his face and ram your thumbs into his blue eyes until they ran red.

Satoru Gojo knew that too. That was his trademark, counteracting and predicting anything you threw at him. Knowing what you wanted before you knew you wanted it. Hell, he even told you he loved you.

That was supposed to be Kento’s line. And he stole it.

A big moment you could never forgive Gojo for.

“You are very good in your job role, but I’ll support you in whatever line of work you choose.” Kento pulled away and finished what was left on his plate. “An academic role is a great step forward for you.”

“Nanami, why don’t you talk about what you do as a job, huh? I don’t think she’s mentioned it before.” Gojo spoke your name with such a drawl you almost kicked him under the table.

“I’m in stocks and shares-”

“Oh!” You gasped and caught yourself too late.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah.” You weren’t, Gojo’s foot found your leg. “I just forgot that I was meant to prepare dessert before we sat down- I’m so silly, I’m sorry Ken. I’ll go out and do it now.”

Kento held out his hand and offered to let you stay seated. “It’s alright, I’ll go and sort it. You stay here. I’ll get more wine too.”

“Thank you, baby.” Watching him walk away with a sweet smile, your face dropped once he was out of ear shot.

You practically shouted at Gojo with the most delicate whisper ever. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” 

He got closer to the table and watched you with the most adoring eyes from anybody you had ever seen with a smile to match. “Y’know, it’s funny how in sync we are.”

However, you had no time for it, your eyes darted back and forth from the kitchen to the dining table. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I have qualifications in teaching too.” He grinned at your falling expression.

No. He couldn’t follow you there too, could he? You were stretched thin enough as it was, grasping at straws to get your footing in repelling him and keeping Kento away from his grip. And here he was inserting himself into your life.

“Leave us alone, I don’t want any of this.” 

Gojo’s expression fell for just a second, you almost missed it before he put his mask back on. “Don’t lie to me.”

“You ruin this for me and I’ll fucking kill you… I worked too hard to make sure I could be with him, I won’t let anything get in between us, especially not you.” 

“Here we are.” Kento brought through three plates and a wine bottle under his arm. “Now, where was I? Oh, stocks and shares, that’s what you were interested in, right?”

“Mhm,” Gojo nodded and stabbed his dessert with his fork. “Tell me all about it.”

If anyone walked now, it would have seemed like the two were getting along going back and forth batting between sentences and random questions. It looked like Kento tolerated Gojo and actually seemed happy enough to give him answers to his stupid questions.

However, under the table was a different story entirely. Gojo took every opportunity to rub your leg with his foot as absentmindedly as Kento did with his little adoring touches.

I’m fucked. 

You managed to tolerate twenty minutes of torture before excusing yourself to the bathroom. It was a risk, though with how early in this weird fucked aquaintanceship with Gojo went, you surmised that he’d leave Kento to collect the dishes when he stated that he’d clear up. Only for a minute. 

So, you disappeared and plopped yourself down on the toilet just waiting for your breaths to settle. This theory, because it was not guaranteed, never stopped your beating heart from fluttering and not in a good way. What if he did hurt him?

Holding a breath, you stood up and went for the door lock, hesitating and shaking yourself out of it. The danger for Kento was too great to sit hidden up in a fucking toilet. Taking a second to observe your surroundings, you noticed a glass file by the sink. One of yours you left here.

Perfect. 

Siipping it into your grasp, you fiddled with the lock and opened it. The thought of just threatening Gojo made you feel much better. But Gojo stood right in front of you when the door opened. 

Before you could make contact with the file to his neck, he wrapped his slender fingers around your wrists and shoved you back in the bathroom, clicking the door closed behind him.

“That nail file is pretty cute. Wanna give me a manicure or act really scary to get me off?” He got so close, nose to nose full of his hot breath and cologne.

“Get off of me.” He resisted your struggles and squeezed a little tighter to make you wince. “I said get off.” 

Gojo smirked so smugly, his eyes darted about your face and could not keep still. “You think you’re pretty funny letting him touch you that way in front of me. There’s nothing stoppin’ me from walking downstairs and taking his sweet little head for myself to watch me while I jerk off to your picture. A trophy if you will. Would you like that?”

Your eyes darted to the glow of the downstairs lamp, clattering dishes in the distance. “Don’t touch him, or I’m setting you on fire in your sleep.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” He could have kissed you, yet he refrained and watched you behind his lidded eyes. “I’m going to make your life more interesting around here and you’ll thank me for it. Y’know why?”

“Stop it.”

He readjusted himself as you pulled away and forced you up against the wall again. “There’s something in you that enjoys this, otherwise you would have told me to hit the sidewalk and ignored me completely. Now I’m tolerating Nanami for the time being because I couldn’t bear to see that pretty face sad, but soon enough when he outlives his usefulness, I’ll kill him.”

You almost growled in response. “Try me.”

“I’d love to.” He pulled away and strolled out of the bathroom leaving you there to contemplate your life.

Like a puppy you followed him downstairs to keep him from doing anything. Kento stood over the threshold of the kitchen, wiping a dish over.

Gojo spoke up before you ever could. “Thanks for showing me around, I got a little lost.”

What a lying bastard- shithead- prick- asshole. “It’s no worry, I forgot where the bathroom was when I first came over.”

“Were you snooping around my wine collection, Gojo?”

“Guilty!” He threw up his hands with a childish grin. “I’m not much of a drinker but I appreciate a collection when I see one.”

“You’re a collector?”

Gojo shook his hand a little to measure his indecisiveness. “Sort of…”

Even though he faced away from you, his eyes were glaring in your direction on some sort of reflective surface. “I like collecting trophies. Anything really, I’m good at everything I put my mind to. It’s like I said before, I love a challenge.”

Tag list - @nanamineedstherapy, @indiewritesxoxo

Hi! 😊

Your writing is so immersive that it feels cinematic—like watching a movie unfold in real time. I love how you always manage to surprise me with plot twists that I never see coming! It’s such a refreshing change from knowing exactly where the story is headed.

I’d absolutely love if you could give Yandere!Reader another go with Nanamin. I think it would be fascinating since Nanami’s level-headedness might keep him from suspecting her. And if you're open to poly ships, it’d be thrilling to add Gojo into the mix with a twist—Yandere!Reader x Nanami x Gojo, but with Gojo secretly yandere all along. Maybe he’s been stalking both of them, planning for the perfect moment to reveal his obsession and orchestrating their “first meeting” to suit his agenda. I’ll leave the rest to your creativity, as I’m sure you’ll bring unexpected layers and depth!

Thank you for considering this! I’m so grateful for all the hard work you put into your stories. 😊🌸

Thanks so much for the kind words! It really means a lot. I love trying to write it all cinematic and doing things that go against the grain because my brain is twisted lol.

I can definitely do that, I hope you enjoy it!

Kento Nanami x Reader x Satoru Gojo

TAGS- Yandere!Reader,Yandere!Gojo,Stalking,Thoughts of killing people,Yandere!thoughts and motives,Masking,Graphic depictions of violence and mentions of damage to eyes.

One americano, two shots of espresso and two pumps of vanilla. Every day at seven thirty five. But not on Sundays sometimes because meetings run over. 

“Oh! I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going- oh god look at your suit, it must be expensive right?”

It was about time you made proper contact with Kento Nanami. You watched on in awe at his stance, brushing the coffee away from his suit in such a way it made the mundane action sexy. Lustrous. Like he was trying to make the way he allowed a strand of hair to fall past his forehead almost purposefully. With an intent to send you crazy.

Good thing you weren’t like those fangirls you often saw on television, crawling about the stage because a man gyrated over his mic. No, you were merely a coffee barista. A damn good one at that. Well, except for spilling coffee all over Kento’s suit.

But how else were you going to get his attention?

You were barely hanging on as it was watching the others make his drink to order. That’s why you made this one for him.

Jesus fucking hell Utahime It’s two pumps of vanilla. I swear I could kill that bitch right now. Shove head under the hot water valve and watch her eyes burn out the sockets.

It was a little drastic, even for you, but if anyone just saw the way Utahime was talking to Kento they would have assumed the two were dating or something. Kento Nanami was single. Definitely single.

The last girl he wanted to date just never made it to that coffee date on time.

None of his other dates did either.

“It’s fine, really.” The first sentence he spoke to you wasn't ‘thank you’ or his coffee order.

A formulated sentence.

Well, that was five months ago. Kento Nanami made the right choice that day to accept your invitation for a drink. Just like you planned. All seemed well and good for a time before you were noticing something strange when out in public.

White hair.

It was all you seemed to ever see. Out in the store or late night trip to the movies, hooked up to Kento’s arm during a scary or suspenseful part. It just seemed to be there, though you never knew who it belonged to. Never a face to linger for a second to make the connection. Just nothing. It tickled the back of your neck, putting you on the defense as though Kento was in danger. What sort of fucked up person would stalk someone? The idea of it was deranged, sick at the thought that someone was watching him, watching you with him.

White hair. You just couldn’t place it.

“Ken, love! What do you think of this dress?!” You called from upstairs, slipping on your shoes and smoothing down the hem of the fabric.

“I’m sure it’s perfect-” He paused, looking you up and down as though studying every inch of your body before he forgot what it looked like.

“Do I look pretty?”

He nodded slowly, stepping close to sit his hand on your waist. “You look beautiful.”

Hearing Kento say such kind and wonderful things made your night, heck, your entire week. Who gave a crap what anyone else thought? Just Kento was more than what you needed to prove that he liked you very much. You loved him of course, but that was love at first sight. Counting down the agonising days until he said it back to you, when you told him all the time in your head or whilst he slept. It took restraint not to slip up and make him doubt things.

So difficult not to say it for the man you loved.

“Thank you.” You giggled at his touch, planting a kiss on your temple with a husky growl in his throat.

“Maybe we should leave dinner tonight? I can’t possibly see how I’ll cope without taking you back to mine straight away. Too beautiful.”

“Restrain yourself, Ken. Someone might think you’re in love with me or something!” Your ecstatic grin sat just in front of your face as though to mask your brain away.

Say it… just say it please. Tell me you love me. I need to hear it. 

His attentive smile made your stomach flip when he pulled you close and spun you around to face the mirror. “If they saw your smile, they would understand what a lovely person you are. And see how I can’t resist you when you’re in a dress like this.”

Oh dear. Maybe some other time. 

“Well,” You kept that mask on and pulled away from him. “Should we get going then? Don’t want to be late.”

“Of course.” 

Kento drove straight to the restaurant, quite an upscale place for no occasion. Maybe there was? Perhaps Kento had something planned that you were unaware of, something spontaneous or quite the opposite. A planned surprise? It was practically the night of your five month month anniversary after all, two hundred wonderful days spent seeing each other and having astronomical sex. 

You didn’t get your hopes up and held your breath when he climbed out of the car and opened the door for you. So special. So dedicated to your comfort with the slightest touch from his fingers on the small of your back. Adrenaline made everything ten times more acute, aware of everything and anything you walked by and as you seated yourself at the table facing Kento, your heart beat so fast. Five months was a long time when you had waited longer to be with him.

You were basically in a relationship with him for well over a year by now it seemed, surely that was long enough to hear those three words?

“Can I get you any drinks?” The waitress grinned at Kento and then at you.

Why him first? He was the most handsome man you had ever seen, but what right did this bitch have setting eyes on him? You ignored the irritation and blinked it away for now, letting Kento speak for you and took a moment to observe the room.

White hair.

A flash of it and you would have missed it had you turned away to scowl at the waitress again. White hair like you were imagining it.

“Darling?”

“Hm?”

“Are you alright?” Kento slid his hand forward and offered it to you. “You seem distant.”

“I’m fine.” You were not, but took his hand anyway. “It’s a little chilly in here, don’t you think?”

“I’ll ask them to turn the heat up, will that be alright?” 

He’s so considerate. “That would be great, thank you.”

You played it off and ignored the itch on the back of your neck, being watched did not agree with you. Kento sat still and his head tilted to the side a little, studying you again whilst his free hand rummaged into his suit pocket.

“I have something for you.” He pulled out a little box. “I know we haven’t been dating that long, but I wanted to get you something I hope you’ll like. If it’s too early, please let me know.”

A box. A small little box. It was light in your hand, velvet to the touch and firm enough that it must have come from those places that sold rings for stupid money. One little box, something so small which held your heart right in Kento’s pocket.

Is he proposing? Please tell me he’s proposing. It means he loves me, right? 

“Ken… What-” A pair of earrings.

“I know you lost one from the pair you always said you wore, so I wanted to get you a new pair. I hope it’s appropriate.”

You forbid yourself to be disappointed, because it wasn’t about the hope that a ring sat nestled perfectly in this box. You put up your mask and smiled sweetly enough to satisfy him. “It is. Thank you so much, I love them!”

He’ll propose some day. 

“Here are your drinks.” 

The waitress took Kento’s drink off first and placed it right in front of him. Then she placed yours down off to the side. She was doing it on purpose, you were sure of it. The steak knife on the table looked pretty good to shove straight in her neck- 

She cleared her throat and placed the tray under her arm. “I’ll be back in a moment to see what you'd like to order.”

“Thank you.” Kento paid no mind to it and took a sip of his wine. “This is a nice vintage, I think we should go to one of those wine tasting evenings. It’s a good place to get to know each other more.”

You did not need to know Kento more. You knew practically everything about him in the four months he stepped into your life physically. 

He liked to drink, hence the wine tasting suggestion. Kento also enjoyed cooking, especially as he lived alone in his apartment, but he also enjoyed dishing up delicacies in your own kitchen. His birthday was July third and he had a particular interest in the arts, like music and theatre. A man of many tastes. 

“Hello there, can I get you something to eat?” A voice of a man you did not recognise came into ear shot.

“I think we might need a minute. Our waitress is taking our order.”

White hair.

You looked up and saw white hair, only this time it did not disappear. The white hair had a face, a blue eyed porcelain complexion with a smooth grin. The man stood taller than Kento dressed in a suit and staff ID.

“I’m sorry, she suddenly became unwell and had to go home. I’ll be taking your order tonight.” He smiled again and made eye contact with you. “My name is Satoru Gojo and I will do everything I can to make sure your night is perfect.”

Gojo. His gaze over you was the exact same distinct feeling of being preyed on. His cutting glare just behind the loose strands of hair over his forehead that looked softer than a cloud. You didn’t know what to make of this, but at least that waitress was gone. You really thought you were going to have to do something about her.

“Alright then. I’ll be back momentarily.”

“Ken, I’m just going to use the restroom, if he comes back before then, can you order me…” You took a brief glance at the menu and chose anything you first landed your eyes on. Gojo wandered off towards the opposite end of the restaurant, somewhere not where the kitchen was. “The steak? I’ll have it however it’s recommended.”

“Alright.”

You took off and made your way over towards the restroom, noting that he had disappeared. Crap. You wanted answers to why it seemed like that man was following you, stalking Kento for no apparent reason.

Would you need to do something about this guy? He was taller than you realised, so he must have been stronger too. You were not super strong by a long stretch, but when pushed enough to the limit, it drove you to do things you thought your body was not capable of.

Just look at the last waitress that brought the wrong drink and almost spilt it all over him just last week. So much blood and she was still wailing after you shoved your stiletto heel in her face.

People never learn. 

By the time you reached the restroom, the stalls were all empty besides one. The long wall length mirror outlined them all like little match boxes opened after use, showing the amber light inside for an ambient glow.

“How did I know that I’d find you in here, hm?” Gojo’s voice echoed throughout the restroom.

It startled you enough to move towards the door and lock it, backing away from the closed door and sitting your back flush with the slate grey tiles adjacent to it.

The toilet stall opened and he came out much less cheerful than he was outside, hands tight in his trouser pockets. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”

“Who are you?”

“It’s funny, no one else ever seems to notice me when I don't want them to. But your instincts are hot on it every time, aren’t they?”

“Tell me who you are.” 

This wasn’t a show of weakness or a moment that revealed your vulnerabilities. When you glared back in his eyes, it was Kento you thought of. If this man was here to hurt him, well, you’d fucking kill him. Out in the back alley, no witnesses and back in time for your steak and boyfriend you’d do anything for. To kill for three times over already. Yes, you’d do it if the opportunity called for it.

“Y’know, I was so ready to come and kick the shit out of that guy when I saw that little box he gave you, but I see right through that little charade you got goin’ on. I've been watching' you a while now.” By now, he’d taken precisely four steps towards you, taking the opportunity to lean against the row of inbuilt sinks. “You’re exactly like me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you need to stop stalking me and my boyfriend. I’ll call the police.”

Gojo’s laugh made your stomach lurch. This guy was a whole new level of crazy you had never seen before. “That’s cute. You’re cute. But no, I’m not stalking him, just you.”

“Then stop doing that.”

“Why, aren’t you scared that I might do what I just said I was goin’ to do? He looks strong but when he has his hands all over you, it sorta drives me crazy.”

Gojo would not make it past the restroom door if he intended on hurting Kento. Yet, why did you contemplate that you’d rather take on the waitress instead of him right now?

Shaking the doubts away, you imagined the scenarios that may occur should you get hold of another steak knife or any other sharp object really. One of the heavy statues in the foyer could prove adequate to crush his head or even one of those little blow torches for creme brûlée right to his face.

For now, your mask dropped, and for a time you could breathe a little. Pretending to be happy all the time was difficult work and holding back on punching anyone who gave eyes at Kento took practice and great restraint. “If you go near him at all, I’ll kill you. I won’t just kill you though, it’ll be worse than torture.”

Gojo stepped closer to you and looked down as though you were a child to be patronised. “That’s my girl. Now, why don’t you introduce me to your little boyfriend so we can make this more official, huh?”

He’d backed you into a corner, right up against the wall. “I meant what I said. Don’t come near us.”

“And I know you have the same urges as me, you think no one sees, but I do. I see you. You won’t have to pretend around me. I’ll even do all your dirty work, that’s what I enjoy most.” He placed his palm on the wall beside your head, leaning in so his mouth was right next to your ear. 

“Lets get this fucked up little love triangle kickin’ hm?

[buckevantommy]

Buck/Tommy for build a fic, please: “they’re never going to hurt you again.”, hurt, a medical bay that stinks of antiseptic and fear

Everything's a little dull and fuzzy when Buck comes to. Gradually, he becomes aware of his surroundings: a soft surface beneath his body, a nurturing warmth to the atmosphere that's settled deep into his bones - a warmth he hasn't felt in far too long.

But it's the lack of certain things that piques his curiosity the most: there's no constant beeping of machines, no antiseptic curling his nosehairs, no pervasive stench of fear souring the air.

Blinking his eyes open is a little tough. They feel heavy, and his body is sore and tired but for once it feels like he's gotten the much-needed rest it's always begging for.

He's not alone. There's a figure standing by a large window overlooking a view of greengreengreen. A man. His size and the breadth and curve of his shoulders is familiar. The rich brown and gentle waves of his hair, the strength in his muscles. A prominent nose. Storm-blue eyes. Stubble on his cheeks and a dimpled chin.

Buck can't see his face, but he knows.

He knows this man.

He was there - in the facility, before.. before..

"You."

The man turns and is by his bedside in a moment.

"Evan."

Evan. No one but his sister has ever said his name with such gentleness. But.. but this man did - back there, in that place.. and Buck didn't feel resentful or probed by it, he didn't feel like a disappointment at the sound of his name in this man's mouth.

"How are you feeling?"

It's a variation of a question he's been asked a thousand times over the years, but never with quite so much genuine concern. Not from his doctors or the lab techs, not even from his own parents.

"I'm.." He feels.. good. Not great, but like his body has been given the opportunity to rest and start to heal. He needs more time, but whatever reprieve he's had is working. He feels.. strong. Stronger than he ever did within the cold unforgiving walls of the facility. "Where am I?"

"A safe location."

Safe from what? He wonders groggily, but the answer is right there within reach: his parents. The company. "Who are you?"

"I'm Tommy."

"Tommy," Buck sounds out his name. It feels right on his tongue. "We've met. Before."

"We have."

Flashes of memories come back to him: shouting, klaxons, an explosion— "Y-you got me outta there."

Tommy gives a small nod. "I did. We did," he gestures at the empty doorway. Buck eyes it then refocuses on Tommy.

"Why?"

"Because you deserve better."

Buck doesn't know Tommy but he knows strangers don't just walk into a high security research facility and walk out with a test subject. And even if they did, they'd need to have a damn good reason. "You don't even know me."

Tommy's gaze is soft as it tracks over his face, assessing. "I know someone who does."

Buck's heart lurches in his chest. "M-maddie?" It doesn't seem possible.

"She's not here," Tommy says quickly, "but she helped us find you."

Buck's breath picks up. He hasn't seen Maddie in years - years! He thought she'd left him for good, forgotten about him and their parents' insane scientific agenda and moved on to a better life.

"Hey— hey, it's okay." Tommy's hand lands softly on Buck's calf. It's big and grounding and he swears he can feel the ache of his scar tissue just above it ebb away at the contact. "It's okay, just take it easy. You still need rest if you want to heal."

Buck does want to heal. He wants to heal from everything that place put him through, but there's only so much that sleep can do. It can't reverse what they did to him, the ways his body has changed and what he's capable of.

"They're never going to hurt you again," Tommy tells him. Like a promise. Like a vow.

Buck closes his eyes and lets Tommy's words sink in, lets his voice wash through him. He works to slow his breathing and re-centre.

Maddie helped save him and now he can go find her and they can be together. He can do that, now. Tommy helped make that possible.

The air pressure in the room shifts as he breathes deep and calm and exhales, finding his resolve. His eyes fix on Tommy's when they open. "Thankyou."

Tommy nods a little jerkily, eyes wide as he takes in Buck's appearance. "You're, uh. Glowing. Are you okay?"

Buck smiles. A real, honest to God smile. It's been so long. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay, now."

Buck is finally free.

taking prompts from here

[slaaverin]

JIMIN CAME HOME!!!!!!!

Hello ARMY, this is Jimin. I enlisted in December two years ago, and now, two years have already passed. I've been serving in the military for about a year and two months now, and honestly… time seems to flow differently here. It’s not always easy, but because there are things I’m learning and experiencing, I’m looking forward to the days when I can talk with you all and share fun stories about everything that’s happened. Hmm… my daily life hasn’t changed much. Since it’s the military, I go through training, work, exercise, and before I know it, the day is over, and it's time to sleep. I’m living through a routine that repeats itself every day. But one thing that has changed since the new year is the conversations Jungkook and I have before going to bed. Since the days until we meet ARMY again are getting closer, we've been talking a lot about what we need to prepare before that moment arrives, what kind of image we want to show, and what kind of lives we will live moving forward. To be honest, there is also a bit of fear. It’s been quite a long time since we last performed together, and it’s been a while since we fully dedicated our time to the stage and music. So yes, there is a little fear, but one thing that hasn’t changed is our determination to give you the best performance when we return. We’ll prepare diligently—really. We’ll work hard and come back in our best form. To our ARMY, whom I miss and am endlessly grateful for, Until the day we meet again, please stay healthy and may every day be filled with happiness. Wishing you lots of luck in the new year, ARMY. I love you. Truly.

GUYS THE WAY I SCREAMED I AM NOT OK I'M ACTUALLY TREMBLING

Ok so when Jimin comes home, it might not be often, but when he does, it's HUGE!

This letter is honestly a lot and I'm not going to be very coherent.

So basically he's going through the day, doing what he must do, like a routine (as expected) but my takeaway is that the one constant is Jimin & Jungkook talking when the day ends.

Oh, boy.

So you're telling me our boys are having deep conversations at night about their future now 😭 omg what do I do with that information.

I don't know about you but Jimin articulated his letter so well I instantly felt the irrevocable WEIGHT of his statements.

Like, what they talk about is serious, it's deliberate, it will probably change how they handle things when they come out. We're talking big life questions, expectations, dreams & desires, public image.

Like how do we go from here? After everything. Who do we want to be? As individuals, & as a couple?

I know I shouldn't be shocked, it was bound to happen, but even then I'm still 😭 not ok he's saying it this plainly.

"What kind of life we want to live moving forward"

This phrase shook me to my fucking core. I let out an inhumane scream. What kind of life? WHAT KIND OF LIFE?

Fucking hell. It's exhilirating and scary just thinking about it.

Anticipation grows through the roof.

He said he's going to tell us things when he comes out so I'm glad.

Because I only need to know, to see, with their words, and their bodies, what is their state of mind. I'm so fucking curious to know what they are thinking about. I'm dying inside, I don't want to wait. This is killing me.

I think I'm waiting for the tiniest sign that they are ok, that they will be, that they feel good, that we don't need to worry. I DON'T KNOW??? The unknown is so very scary and unpredictable. Not knowing is what's worse.

But they are together and they talk together of their future, a future that I'm sure will also include the other in some type or form.

I'm now more than ever positive on a jikook subunit next. Might be small, but I'm sure they thought of something.

& They thought of AYS, too. I know it.

Maybe also about how they will move in together? One can only hope.

This letter fills me with joy.

Jimin is such a wonderful person & his words always hit right.

Having fear is a normal thing. The future is always worst in our head than in reality, and projecting things too much onto it can only create anxiety. But I'm not worried - about that. They will manage to give us amazing performances I have no doubt. I just hope they don't put too many expectations on themselves, because they don't need to. I trust them to do their best and it's already enough.

What kind of image will they be showing moving forward? They were ready to already risk it all before with AYS. How things will change?

What kind of person will they show?

This is all so very exciting guys 😭

So many possibilities.

When they come out I will be clinging to my seat holding my breath with my fingers crossed 😭

Ahhh, we need to be patient. This is hard.

I'm so glad Jimin seems to be well. That they are both well.

I need to let everything sink in. And reflect on it.

I think soon a lot will be happening, and I want to be here for ALL of it. I'll continue to write silly posts about it.

But I'm positive, the future will be bright, and I think everything will be ok.

They are writing it as we speak, and I believe it is meant to be, as always, together.

Wishing them good luck 💜

[softgh0stbites]

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Eclipsed Affections

Rating: Sfw but suggestive + a lil vulnerable Vincent.

Pairing: Vincent x Reader

Summary: You and Vincent have interacted much for the past week since your last encounter. Though ever the softie, he can't help but interrupt your brooding session on the beach with no idea of how to make it up to you. Read these for previous context: Where Desire Slumbers & Dawn's Resolve

Notes: I am not writing a serious fanfiction but my heart hurt for the way I left the last ramble post and I needed some closure- ♡ I think Vincent can be misunderstood sometimes as a character, that he is cold- but I think he's incredibly kind but awkward to show it usually through acts of service instead of words of affirmation (at least right now) I was up late at night everytime I came back to this so there's probably a lot of misspellings and maybe some parts are rushed but I hope you enjoy~ ♡ also someone please listen to Under The Weather by Corpse and tell me it doesn't match him GODDDD I need someone to bounce ideas off of and music ♡ I'm so into writing for this man. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

It had almost been a week since your last encounter with Vincent. The memory of that moment lingered vividly despite you trying your best to clear it up. It was the way your heart had plummeted as he left you standing there, dumbfounded, embarrassed, dejected... maybe even a little angry; that made moving on difficult. His eyes, boiling with anguish, had seemed to plead with you, almost begging you to stop him. But the butterflies in your stomach had long since dropped dead, leaving you unsure of what was right anymore. You rarely locked eyes, but it wasn't like you didn't see him after that. He seemed to do anything to stay away from you and vice versa, even when the others would watch with curiosity you didn't want to entertain.

You sighed, shaking your head to clear the intrusive thoughts while your hands busied themselves breaking apart bread. You were hungry, ravished from your journey but you didnt feel like sitting with the group and cooking out over a grill or sitting at one of the pubs. Especially if he was there, so close to you but distant anyway. Utensils would’ve been helpful, but you didn’t have any, and the loaf crumbled unevenly under your grip. Seated on the beach of Costa del Sol, you watched the dreary sun slowly sink toward the horizon. Its soft, molten orange glow only annoyed you more—it was the same color as Vincent’s eyes, mocking you.

The bread crumbled further as your hand tightened, frustration bubbling over as you muttered a string of curses. Reaching for the jar nestled in the sand beside you, you unscrewed the lid with quick, practiced fingers. The honey glistened inside, and you dipped your fingers in, spreading it on the bread without care for the sticky mess. You didn’t mind. You could always lick it off later.

'I wish it was him licking it instead with an apology,'

Groaning at the stray thought, you shoved the honey-slathered bread into your mouth, chewing loudly in a futile attempt to drown out the ache in your chest. That night, when you had cried quietly into your pillow, it hadn’t been for yourself. No, it had been for him. You ached for the man who was so convinced he didn’t deserve even the simplest affirmation.

You finished the bread and licked your fingers one by one, your tongue sliding between each digit methodically. The sticky residue would’ve been a nuisance if you decided to join Aerith and Tifa for cards later, though the thought felt distant. They’d already noticed your mood over the past week, pressing you despite your insistence that it wasn’t a big deal.

Pulling your knees to your chest, you stared out at the darkening waves, the scrape of loneliness rising behind your eyes. Even the sun was abandoning you, slipping away to hide behind its lover, leaving you here in the itchy sand with sticky fingers and crumbs on your face.

Amidst the rhythmic sound of lapping tides, the soft clink of metal broke through, unmistakable and familiar. Your heart sank and burned all at once. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Of course it was him. Of all times, why now? He probably wasn’t even here on his own volition—maybe the group was waiting on you for something.

The clinking stopped, and the last light of the sun threw his shadow over you. You clenched your thighs with your palms, steadying yourself before forcing out the words.

"Is something happening? I’ll just be a few more minutes." You squeezed your eyes shut, willing your voice to stay even despite the hammering pulse in your throat. "Please."

The final word quivered with unspoken desperation—a silent plea for him to leave. If he wanted you to move on, to stop feeling this way, he needed to walk away. You couldn’t see him, couldn’t smell him, or you’d be undone all over again.

But he didn’t leave.

The sand shifted behind you, and a steady warmth radiated at your back. Something soft brushed against your bare shoulders, and the hair on your neck stood on end. Opening your eyes, you glanced down at the shadow cast over you. Vincent had seated himself at your back, lounging lazily with one leg outstretched, the other bent at the knee. His head drooped slightly forward, his posture casual despite the tension crackling between you.

Irritation bubbled in your chest, mixing with the undeniable yearning to lean into the silent comfort he was offering.

"That wasn’t an invitation, you know," you muttered, a sharp edge in your voice.

If it bothered him, he didn’t let it show. "I thought we were sharing nice views," he replied, his tone as dry as ever.

"You’re facing the wrong way, and the sun’s leaving us behind," you sighed, your exhaustion seeping into your words. Despite yourself, you scooted a little closer, cautiously leaning into his back. He didn’t move away.

Despite everything, you wanted this. You should’ve known it would take time, patience, effort. A soft chuckle rumbled through him, low and unhurried, and you couldn’t help but wonder if his humor was that dry or if he’d caught on to what you were implying.

"Would you prefer I turn around?" he asked, his voice dropping to a soft murmur. There was a quiet note in it—almost like he was asking for forgiveness.

You leaned further into him, your head brushing against his shoulder blades. He was so tall that even the small bump made your neck ache, but you didn’t care.

"Do you even know how much..." You stopped, stumbling over the words in your head. "Do you... think of me?" The question slipped out in a whisper, hesitant and vulnerable.

If he could feel the way your heart was hammering against your ribs, you’d have thrown yourself into the waves out of sheer embarrassment. You could handle it if he said no if he finally shut you out completely. But deep down, you knew better. There had been too many moments—unspoken glances, the brush of his hand against yours while unpacking boxes, the way he always seemed to linger near you. His body betrayed what his face worked so hard to hide.

"Often," he admitted, his voice low and steady.

Before you could respond, he shifted behind you. The next thing you knew, his legs slid around your frame, his knees bent and enclosing you as his arms rested lightly over them. You were trapped, but the weight of him didn’t feel oppressive. Instead, it was grounding. Comforting.

"Too often," he added, his breath warm against your ear. The tone of his voice was thick, lazy, syrupy, and god when it brushed the shell of your ear you wanted more.

He didn’t quite touch you, and you knew that if you wanted to, you could get up and he wouldn’t stop you. He’d let you leave. But something about this moment felt different—this was far too forward of him.

Tilting your head back, you looked up at his face, catching his eyes for the first time in what felt like a month. He was beautiful in the way only he could be, his hair sticking to his skin from the heat, a dusting of peach along the tops of his cheeks and the tips of his ears. But it was his eyes and their slight vulnerability in dusky depths that held you. He watched you as you watched him, and your mind lagged, struggling to process that he actually thought of you.

Your lips tilted into a half-smile. "Well, you don’t show it, do you?"

You reached up, your fingers brushing toward him instinctively a part of you knowing he wouldn’t push you away. There was something different about him, it was something softer. You noticed his mouth working at the top of his neckline, lips parting and closing again, before he let out a sigh so heavy it seemed to carry all his restraint.

"How would you like me to show it?" he asked, his tone challenging, dripping like poison unto you. A poison you'd drink yourself stupid with.

"Vincent," you began, bracing yourself for the vulnerability in your next words, "I don’t want you to pull away from me anymore." Even as you said it, you felt the rise of panic, ready to run if he rejected you again. You didn’t think you could handle another cold refusal.

But instead of answering, his hand settled near your waist, hovering as if asking for permission. The heat of his palm radiated through your clothes, and even though he didn’t touch you, you could feel the electricity in the air between you. He leaned forward, tilting his head down to meet your gaze fully. Your neck began to ache from the angle, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. His bangs fell into your eyes, tickling your nose, making you shiver.

God, he had to be ridiculously flexible to contort down to you like this.

"I can’t—" he started, his voice faltering as the sun flared in his eye. He swallowed hard, his words thick and heavy. "I need— I want, but I can’t..." His voice cracked slightly, and your breath caught as you stared at him. His lips, parted ever so slightly, were the perfect shape, a cupid’s bow you couldn’t stop imagining against your own. You wanted to feel their softness with your fingertips, your teeth, your tongue.

Gathering your courage, you let yourself lean against him, resting your head on his collarbone if only it wasn't covered with his cloak, buckles, and leather. Your lashes batting up at him shyly. "You want?" you whispered, the words trembling as they left your lips. "Tell me."

Your voice made your cheeks burn, the sound of it so unfamiliar, almost foreign. This was all so strange like one moment you were trying to forget him, to bury this infatuation, and the next, you were slotted between his thighs with him looking like he wanted to devour you whole.

Slowly, carefully—as if not to startle you—he moved, although he probably never could with how loud his movements were in general. The crinkle of leather and the soft click of his gauntlet sounded loud in your ears as he raised his hand, sliding it under your jaw. His touch was impossibly gentle, his glove cool against your skin as he tilted your face upward, stretching your neck a little further, exposed. He was studying you like he was committing every detail to memory. His thumb brushed a lazy, feather-light stroke along the side of your jaw, over the sweep of your ear and towards your temple. His gauntlet fingers left a trail of icy fire in their wake, making your mouth dry and you felt your resistance to forgive crumbling under his care.

He touched you as if you were glass, his grip sweet and fragile. The ocean breeze picked up, ruffling your clothes and making you shiver as you closed your eyes, momentarily overwhelmed.

"Everything," he finally murmured, the word purring from deep in his chest, thick with vulnerability. "Anything you’ll give me. Whatever you need from me." His tongue darted out briefly, wetting his lips, and your gaze lingered on them, sinful and inviting.

You couldn’t stop yourself. Shifting, you captured his hand in yours so it didnt hang useless between you, turning to nestle on your knees so you could meet his gaze at eye level. Your head spun with thoughts, ideas of what to ask for or what to take since he was offering so freely. But something nagged at you. Something twisted about this self-service he was offering.

As you leaned closer, you noticed the bleary haze in his eyes, half-lidded and dusky. You inhaled sharply, catching the faint scent of liquor. It was bitter and strong. The realization hit you like a splash of cold water.

"Are you—?" you started, pulling back slightly, unwilling to let this go further if he wasn’t in the right state of mind.

He stilled, and for the first time, a rare and crooked grin spread across his lips. His sharp canines flashed, making you swallow hard. You didn’t know what he found so amusing, but the sight of his grin struck something deep in your chest. He carded a hand over his face, ruffling his dark locks and leaving himself even more disheveled than before.

After a moment of composure, he answered, his grin fading as he met your gaze with quiet intensity. "No. Unfortunately, I’ll never have the luxury of letting go." His tone was heavy, but his lips quirked faintly, almost self-deprecating. "You’re not some villain out to steal my virtue, so don’t trouble yourself."

His hand slid back under your chin, guiding your face closer to his as his gaze dropped to your mouth. Your eyes fluttered closed instinctively, thinking this was it, finally...

"What if I am a villain out to steal your virtue?" you squeaked, half-joking, half-desperate.

His breath ghosted over your cheek as his nose bumped against the top of your cheekbone. Slowly, he inhaled, as if memorizing the scent of your skin. His nose brushed lower, gliding along your jaw before returning to hover near your lips. The sensation sent shivers racing down your spine.

"Tough luck," he murmured, a quiet smugness in his tone as if to say it was never in question to begin with, his virtue. He continued his gentle ministrations, making heat pool low, fire stocking your belly. His lips were whispering over the places his nose touched, but only slightly, not daring to touch you quite yet. He had said that touch was very important to him, so the act of this was unthinkable to you. You hadn't thought you'd be sitting here being stock still as he took pleasure in teasing you with haunting trails of that mouth. You were almost worried he would end up finding sticky honey and crumbs if he continued at this pace, hoping to god it wouldn't ruin the moment. In all the silence passing between you again, he was making you lose your train of thought to reply, your throat swallowing as his lip just barely fluttered over your pulse point before he continued to make you squirm.

His voice low and velvety, a dangerous whisper. "What do you plan to do with my virtue once it’s yours?"

He was entertaining you while also asking a weighted question, his face pulling back slightly to meet your gaze as your eyes opened. You could see how strong his restraint was, like stone, ceremoniously holding himself together without letting a single crack show. But now, here with you, those cracks were visible, his facade slipping as his eyes stayed fixed on yours, the weight of his stare pinning you down.

Before you could answer, he spoke again, his voice softer, almost as if the words weren’t meant for you.

"I’ve already given more of myself to you than I meant to," he admitted, the frustration clear in his tone. His eyes dropped for a moment before meeting yours again, his brow furrowed. "You shouldn’t want me. You’re something I was never meant to touch, but I keep reaching for you. I can’t stop."

The raw honesty of his words made your heart ache. You could see how much he hated admitting it and hated the truth of it. His problems felt like they went far deeper than just a man betrayed by Shinra and left to wander alone. There was a darkness clinging to him, a weight heavier than regret, and it was clear it had been with him far longer than you realized.

You took his hand that was still in yours, raising it to your cheek and nuzzling against his knuckles. The cool material of his glove contrasted with your skin, but you didn’t care. Slowly, you lowered his hand to your lips, pressing a soft kiss there, like a quiet apology for being the source of such turmoil.

"You haunt me too," you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. You kissed each of his fingers as he watched you, his gaze flickering occasionally toward the darkening horizon, like he needed to steady himself. "You’re my ghost, drowning in regrets I don’t know anything about." You paused when his teeth bit down on his bottom lip, the flash of his sharp canines staying in your mind. "But I’d never think less of you for struggling with what you carry." Before he could retort with self-pity and dismissive ideas about himself and what you should think of him, you squinted your eyes as if to say; Save it. You weren't usually so bold, but this idea that you're sitting in front of him being vulnerable as well. Another crash of water against the tides pulled you both from the intense stare off, your mind struggling to catch up to all that was occurring but nothing about Vincent was simple- you knew it. He was already giving you so much more than he ever did, spoke to you more than he ever had, you couldn't falter in this moment. Your hands were trembling at the idea that you could make one wrong move or simply open your eyes to find you had fallen asleep on this wide beach.

After a moment, you let go of his hand and rested your head on his shoulder. It felt silly to want to hold him tight, especially after a moment ago when you’d wanted him in an entirely different way, not as tender. But right now, more than anything, you wanted to make him feel safe. If this was all you could offer, then so be it. Your arms carefully wrapped around his neck, cautious not to brush against his skin. Your fingers wanted to slide into his hair, but you wouldn't push it considering his shoulders were still stiff regardless of the golden shoulder pads he wore underneath the cloak. His gauntlet shifted softly as he pressed his hands against your upper back, his fingers spreading wide as he pulled you closer with a quiet, low grumble. He finally slumped a bit forward, cheek resting in a tilted fashion on the side of your head, puffs of his breath stirring your hair.

You stayed silent as the moments passed until your eyes began to close from exhaustion, both emotional and physical. Vincent didn’t seem to mind. The quiet was his element, his steady breaths and the sound of the tide lapping against the shore, keeping you from fully drifting off.

You knew he wouldn’t say anything like I fancy you, I love you, or even I like you. You could deal with that. Maybe you’d never hear those words from him, and maybe he didn’t want your love, only your kindness. It didn’t matter. As long as he stayed like this, as long as he was yours in these moments, you could be content. This version of him was yours to keep, and you wanted to hold onto it selfishly.

Still, the thought of him opening up to others someday, making meaningful connections, or finding peace in conversation was comforting. You didn’t want to keep him entirely to yourself. But here, now, in the warmth of his hands on your back, his thumb brushing softly against your shoulder and rubbing lazily down to your lower back and up again, the quiet comfort he shared with you, this was yours.

Vincent was your forbidden fruit, and you were more than keen to sink your teeth into him. Gently at first, but firm if you must.

[beef-brisket]

((I don't know lol, I'm trying to create ✨️🌈plot🌈✨️))

Sera raised an eyebrow: Consensual. Are you certain?

Lucifer glared: The fuck is that supposed to mean?

Sera: You know what it means, Lucifer. I know you. You're telling me you are not influencing this man in any way possible?

Lucifer was silent. Should he tell the truth? Probably. Is he the Prince of Lies? Definitely. Did he technically trick Adam into being his cock sleeve, cum dumpster, babu factory? Okay, yeah, but he really did it for amusement. The guy said he wanted a big family, and he was going to get it.

Should it be with some chick called Eve? We won't talk about that.

Lucifer: He wants to be here.

Sera scoffed: Oh, really? That was so convincing, Lucifer.

Lucifer: What do you want me to say, Sera?!

Sera banged her hand on the table: The truth! You are meant to leave your influence off earth! But here you are, toying with a human soul.

Lucifer: I am not "toying" with anything. He summoned me- what do you expect me to do?!

Sera: Ignore it!

Lucifer rolls his eyes, folding his arms. He couldn't believe this bitch. But of course, Heaven would want to be involved

Sera: Bring him here.

Lucifer: ...excuse me?

Sera: Bring the human here. Now.

Lucifer was silent before smirking: Fine. You want to see him~?

-

One moment, Adam was laying peacefully in bed, and the next, he was in a bright room on an extremely hard surface.

He quickly sat up, and tried to cover himself when he saw a strange being staring down at him. Where the hell is he?

But he began to relax when he saw Lucifer.

Adam: Lu-!

Lucifer: Hello, pet. Sorry for the rude wake-up.

Sera glared at the human. Something wasn't right. The contract and soul are male, so why does it appear female?

Sera smirked: Oh, Lucifer. You truly aren't this desperate, are you?

Lucifer: Desperate? Me? Oh, please! Perish the thought!

Sera: Is that so? So, nothing should happen to this human if I get rid of your power?

Lucifer: ...Sera. this is my realm. You wouldn't-.

With a snap of her fingers, Lucifer felt his power get locked out of the room, including what was influencing Adam and his change.

Within a blink of an eye, Adam had his old body back.

He should be panicking or... something. But all he felt was confusion and like a whole lot of emotions were missing. Or maybe he doesn't know how to feel.

Looking at his hand, then his chest, he felt nothing but relief. Like this is what was normal, what he should look like.

Sera: Human. What is your name?

Lucifer: Sera-?!

Sera: Quiet, child.

Sera flicked her wrist, stopping Lucifer from talking.

Sera: Now, your name.

Adam looked at the being in front of him: A-Adam...

Sera: Last name?

Adam: Morningst-... K-Kadmon... I think.

Sera glared at Lucifer before looking back at the human: Why did you summon Lucifer?

Adam: ...M-My girlfriend- fiance- can't have kids- I-I thought... he could help.

Sera: Did he help her?

Adam: I... I don't know.

Sera: Why did he take you?

Adam: He thought... I wanted kids with him- but I said Eve- I'm so sure I did...

Sera: He tricked you.

Adam thought about it for a moment: H-He did.

Sera: Lucifer. Are you truly this pathetic? To trick a human, who only wanted to help his love? Let me guess, he made you love him, didn't he?

Adam: ...I love... him...?

Adam looked up in wonder as the being reached out to him and cupped his face.

Sera: You don't love him. He tricked you. You're not a woman, Adam. You're a man. Everything is a lie. He's the prince of them.

Adam: And... what are you?

Sera: An angel, darling. And I'm here to free you of this contract made on a trick. I will grant your partner fertility, but only once.

Adam: I'm... meant to have a child... with him...

Sera: No, dear. Not with him. With Eve.

Adam: Eve... I... I love... Eve.

Sooo- Adam summoning Lucifer because he wants his girlfriend to get pregnant, but she's infertile. But instead Lucifer cages Adam up, makes him completely overcome by lust 24/7 and is made to birth Lucifer's children?

No one sees him again 🤷

I feel like my kinks are coming a lot...

But anyway. This.

LOL Adam just needing the Devil's dick all the live long day and even dreams about it 😆

-

Adam was looking at the spell book and up at the man in the pentagram that was dressed in a nice suit and tie, whites, reds, and gold accents to pull it all together.

Adam: I feel like I've been tricked somehow.

Lucifer: How do?

Adam: You are the devil right?

Lucifer fixed his tie: Last time I checked. I do have a name you know.

Adam: Lucifer, yeah I'm aware. Look, I'm well aware you're probably busy, torturing souls or whatever down in Hell so I'll get to the point. My girlfriend and I want to have a baby but I guess there's something wrong, lack of eggs or something the doctor spoke in many technical terms. You're all powerful right? You could help her be more fertile?

Lucifer blinked, well this was an odd request: I mean, yeah but don't humans have clinics for this?

Adam: Yeah but do you have any idea how expensive those are? And not a guarantee that we could have a baby. This would be.

The Devil looked the young man over, he couldn't be any older than 27, he was tall with brown hair and honey brown eyes and tan skin. Very attractive for human standards. And he should know, he was in Eden.

Lucifer smirked, he could work this to his advantage.

Lucifer: So, you want me to give you children?

Adam: Yes....?

Was he missing something?

Lucifer: Well, you gotta let me out of the little drawing of yours.~

Adam raised a brow: You can't do it from there?

[aperrywilliams]

Satellite Call. Part II: I Wish I Could Do More (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

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Author Masterlist | Series Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Words count for this part: 4.1k

Series summary: Your world crushes when Spencer is arrested. Between finding a way to get him out and keeping you afloat, there is something else you need to focus on, too. And even when you thought things couldn’t go worse, a tragedy makes you question if you can make it through.

Part II summary: While Spencer is transferred to Milburn, you must be strong and find a way to get him out, even if you're hurt by what he did. Some news could make this even more difficult.

Series warnings: ANGST (with CAPS). 18+ (MDNI). Some heavy topics will be discussed and shown here. Prison arc, but mostly from Reader's perspective and Emily’s. More detailed under the cut.

Spencer lies to his wife. Drug consumption (against their will). Pregnancy symptoms. Spencer is in jail for more than three months. Hospital visits, doctor’s info dumping (not accurate). Alcohol consumption. Arguing. Strong language. A lot of crying. Emotional breakdowns. A car crash happens (as in the CM storyline). Character dies. More hospital things. Miscarriage. More angst. Depressing symptoms. Mourning. Self-doubt. Suicidal ideation, and almost consummated. Emily is everyone’s emotional support.

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You couldn't sleep that night. The mere thought of Spencer in a cold cell, alone, disoriented, and scared, makes you sick. You had been talking to Emily late into the night, trying to figure out legal options. She assured you she had an excellent lawyer who could defend Spencer and that they could visit him the next day to give him the news.

As planned, you and Emily arrive at the police station early in the morning. After a routine check, you are allowed into the cell block. Emily tells you to go first while she waits for Fiona, Spencer's new lawyer.

The moment he sees you, Spencer rushes to hug you. You hug him just as tightly, resting your head on his chest.

"Are you okay?" you ask, muffling your words in Spencer's old cardigan he is wearing. It gives him some kind of normal semblance, considering the circumstances.

"Yeah. I'm okay," Spencer says, kissing the top of your head.

His voice tells you he is everything but okay. You are sure he didn't sleep, the same as you.

When you part of your embrace, Spencer doesn't want to let you go, clasping his hands in yours. Inspecting your face, he knows there is something you need to tell him, and you don't know how.

"What is it?"

You sigh, tightening the grip of his hands.

"The FBI decided they won't support you legally. They refused to provide a lawyer to take your case."

"What?" He lets go of your hands, surprised by the news you are giving him. "But why? I didn't do anything!"

"We know, but you made that trip without your FBI passport and didn't tell anyone. They won't take responsibility for it." As you see Spencer starting to hyperventilate, you rush to explain Emily's plan.

"Hey, Spencer. Listen to me. It doesn't mean you won't have a defense, okay? Emily is here too, and she got a lawyer for you. They will be here in a minute."

"But - but I don't have money to afford a lawyer. I - I spent a huge amount of my savings on my mom's treatment."

You didn't know that. That's another thing Spencer hasn't shared with you in the past months. He notices your expression after what he just said. He can see the betrayal in your eyes, even if you want to mask it for his sake.

"We'll manage." It's the only thing you can say, keeping your voice steady. Spencer sighs and grabs one of your hands.

"I know it's not fair for you. Please, tell me what you are thinking; tell me what you are feeling. Tell me everything that I deserve to hear."

What are you really thinking and feeling right now? It's a mix you can't decipher yet, but this is not the time or place to try to figure it out.

So you act as if he didn't say anything and try to divert the subject.

"Emily and Fiona will be here in any minute. Fiona is your lawyer's name. Emily told me she's good-"

"Baby-" Spencer calls you, but you continue with your rant, letting go of his hand.

"Her credentials are pretty impressive, to be honest. Emily handed her your file already, so-"

Spencer knows you are deflecting, so he cut you off.

"Can you stop for a second, please?"

And you do. Spencer's frustration is very clear in his voice, although as the words leave his lips, he retracts immediately. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to snap."

You keep looking at him. It's not you're annoyed or angry. It's not difficult to understand Spencer's anxiety about all of this and the compel to explain himself before you. But you don't know how to deal with it either, so you think being proactive might help. Help to focus on the important, leaving behind the storm blowing inside you.

Spencer can see you're holding back. He wants you to talk to him, but since you arrived, the conversation has only focused on him, and you don't seem keen to change that.

You are considering switching subjects again, but what can you talk about that isn't the obvious topic? Before you dwell much on it, Spencer spares you the decision.

"So, you say she'll be here soon?"

"Yes."

"Will you stay?"

"No. By protocol, Fiona must talk to you alone. Also, you must tell her everything in detail. Even the things you haven't told me."

Spencer might be in a vulnerable position right now, but he's still a profiler and, beyond that, your husband. He can read your subtexts better than anyone.

"You are still mad."

It's simple and accurate, but you don't want to acknowledge it, much less address it.

"Can we focus on the important here?" You don't deny it, but you prefer not to talk about it.

"And you think how you feel is not important?" Spencer asks, eyes scanning yours.

"It's not important when the one locked here is you, and we have to use all our energy to get you out."

Spencer knows you are right, but he also knows you're hurting because of him.

"Not a million 'I'm sorry's' will change where we are now, and it is very cynical of me to ask you for this, but please, don't leave me in the dark. I want to know what you are thinking and feeling. Although you believe the priority is focusing on my case, that's not the only thing that matters to me."

You take in his words for a moment. You know he's genuine, but the clench in the pit of your stomach makes it difficult to push away your anger. All this situation is unfair, and you don't know how to deal with your emotions.

"You're right. Nothing will change where we are now. That's why I'm trying to focus on the practical things. I can't even process what I'm feeling right now, so don't ask me something you didn't do, and I can't do either."

What you said is not much in words, but it's heavy enough to make Spencer's head hang low.

Spencer knows he's a hypocrite asking you for something he didn't do: talk to you when it was needed.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbles, stepping closer to you. He wants to hold you, but you are shaken enough, plus you are starting to feel nauseous, so you step back.

"Baby," he repeats, and before you can reply, Emily and Fiona enter the room.

Emily quickly notices things are tense between you two.

"We can give you some more minutes," she offers. But you brisky refuse.

"It's okay. You guys need it more than me," you say, now looking at Fiona. "Nice to meet you, by the way. I'll leave you at it."

Spencer calls your name, and you turn to him with apologetic eyes. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise. We can talk about that later, okay?"

And before anyone in the room could say anything else, you leave.

You feel suffocated, and your feet don't move fast enough to get out of there. Your breathing quickens, and you start to feel like the walls are closing in around you. Luckily for you, the exit is only a few more meters away. Once you're out of the building, you crouch down and start to inhale and exhale hard. Over and over again. Your breathing is getting controlled, but you get a horrible nausea that makes you empty your stomach in a corner of the sidewalk.

You considered staying and waiting for Emily, but you decided to go home instead. You messaged her to let her know when she had news.

That same afternoon, Emily calls you and gives you details about the legal strategy Fiona will pursue while the team is instructed to look for evidence to exonerate Spencer. The arraignment will be the next day, and Fiona will try to get Spencer out on bail. That gives you some hope, although, in terms of the investigation, you're all still in the dark.

It doesn't help that the judge denies Spencer’s bail the next day. Neither the evidence of his impeccable previous conduct nor the arguments about his contributions to the FBI convince her to give Spencer bail, so she orders his incarceration in the Milburn correctional facility until his trial, which will take place in three more months. You can’t believe it. No one does. It breaks your heart to see Spencer’s face when he looks at you before being cuffed and whisked away from the courtroom. He’s scared, and you can’t do anything about it. Spencer tries to mask it, mouthing an ‘I love you’ to you. You do the same, trying to keep your tears at bay.

Never in a million years would you have imagined something like this. Still in shock, you can barely hear the encouraging words of Fiona and Emily, who begin to formulate a new plan for Spencer. Helplessness overwhelms you, and not wanting to listen anymore, you excuse yourself and walk toward the exit of the courtroom. You are not sure why, but there is no reason to remain stunned in the same place, either.

This time, it’s  Rossi who finds you sulking as you sit on the stairs of the building entrance.

“The kid is strong, you know that, right?”

You look at him when he sits by your side.

“He is. I know,” you sniffle. “But he needs more than strength right now. He needs us to prove his innocence, and here I am. Crying and doing nothing to help him.”

“And we’ll prove his innocence. But one step at a time. Today, we lose, and it’s okay to dwell and cry, to get up tomorrow and keep fighting.”

Rossi is probably right. After all, he is the one with the most experience in life. But it is hard for you to see how to continue fighting when you feel like you have been losing battles for days.

You take David’s advice—one day at a time. Exhausted, when you get home, you plop on your couch and try to digest everything. You cry and curse, but at the end of the day, you just hope the next day could be better.

When you arrive at the BAU in the morning, Emily calls the entire team into the conference room. On the round table, you see a pile of papers while Penelope is already sitting, working on a laptop.

“Okay, we need to assume Scratch is behind Nadie Ramos's murder. We need to figure out how he knew her,” Prentiss starts.

“She wasn’t his target. It's circumstantial due to her connection to Spence,” JJ states. Tara nods.

“True. But it can’t be a coincidence we’re talking about someone connected to alternative medicine and plants. The same Scratch uses them to make his drugs.”

All give some ideas on how Scratch could be related to Spencer’s case, but even when they have good hypotheses, there is something that doesn't fit you.

“What are your thoughts?” Stephen asks you when he notices you’re the only one who hasn’t said anything yet.

“Why Spencer?” Your colleagues' attention is on you now. “I mean, it could have been any of us. If Scratch already targeted us, why Spencer, and why now?”

“He had messed with Hotch and Tara by now. I guess he will try to get us one by one,” Luke answers.

“Yeah, but isn’t it inconvenient for him to expose himself like this? I mean, he didn't do this alone,” you argue.

“I don’t think that bothers him. He likes the attention and will do anything to get it. This time, it is the kid who is in the middle,” Rossi concludes.

You’re not so sure, but you don’t have any evidence to refute your teammates. You also feel that maybe you’re being a bit paranoid saying this is especially against Spencer, so you don’t keep pushing and leave the team to bounce their theories.

Two full days pass, and you don’t have anything to prove Spencer’s innocence. The team keeps the same approach settled the days prior, and you’re getting impatient. That, and the lack of sleep, gets you irritated. It's something all can see, but they don’t have the heart to call you out.

Emily has to do something after you yelled at Penelope in front of everyone after she came with nothing about Scratch's supposed partner, and two seconds later, you started to cry disconsolately, asking her for forgiveness.

“You need to go home. I won’t tell you the reasons because you already know them. We need you with fresh eyes. Spencer needs you with fresh eyes,” your boss reminds you. Of course, you want to argue with her, but she is right. With no words, you nod and grab your stuff from your desk.

Emily is right; you need to find a way to keep your shit together. It's hard, you tell yourself, but you have to try. The next morning, you’ll visit Spencer at Milburn. It’s the first time they will allow him to see someone that is not his lawyer.

Sleep doesn't come so quickly that night, but at some point, exhaustion wins the battle, and you fall asleep.

You don’t remember if you were dreaming or not, but still, in a haze, you feel your stomach churn and then some horrible nausea. That’s what fully wakes you up. Jumping from the bed, you run to the bathroom to empty your guts.

Jeez, not again. You have been cautious not to eat something that could make you sick. But to be honest, you haven’t been eating much the past few days due to stress. Maybe your nausea is also due to that.

When the uncomfortable feeling dissipates, you peak at your clock and realize it's time to get up. After brushing your teeth, you jump into the shower.

You've been to different prisons around the country many times. Sometimes, with Spencer himself, interviewing inmates. Some of them being the worst scum the world has to offer. And now, in front of Milburn correctional, the irony isn’t lost on you.

The visiting room is full of people waiting for the time when the prisoners can enter and sit in front of their visitors. After the sound of an old buzzer, a gate opens at the back of the room, and one by one, the prisoners begin to enter. They are all dressed in that orange jumper that already bothered you before but that you will now learn to hate even more.

You spot Spencer, and your stomach tightens. His gaze meets yours, and he gives you a shadow of a smile.

“Hey,” you mumble as he sits in the chair in front. Separated by an acrylic glass, you can’t touch each other. That’s the rule, and you already hate it.

“Hi,” Spencer greets back, biting his lower lip. For him, it's so good to see you, but not like this. Your last encounter didn't end well either, so Spencer is worried about how to talk to you.

“How are you holding on?” You are direct; it is not useful to ask how he is doing in a place like this. Spencer shrugs.

“They let me read. It's not that bad.”

“Have you been sleeping?” You have a list of checkup questions to assess Spencer's current state.

“Not that much. But it's okay, you know I usually don’t sleep that much.”

Before your next question leaves your lips, Spencer speaks.

“I love you,” he whispers, and you are left speechless. It’s the cue Spencer needs to keep talking. “And I hate every minute I can’t be with you. I fucked up, and I know you want to focus on my defense instead of talking about how you feel about this.”

“Spencer-”

“It’s okay,” he rushes to say. “I’m going to respect that. But I want you to know I do care, and you don’t have to spare me anything for my sake.”

Your eyes fill with tears, and some start to run down your cheeks. You can’t help it. The knot in your throat begging to be untied.

“I - it’s like-” you try to collect your thoughts as you wipe your tears. Spencer only wants to jump the glass to wipe them himself.

“It hurts, Spencer. It hurts that I can’t do more to help you. Yeah. I’m mad at you for not trusting me. I’m mad at myself for not being enough for you to trust me. I love so fucking much, and it scares me because I’m not thinking clearly, and I should be working to catch the son of the bitch who puts you here.”

Your rant finishes with you out of breath and hiccuping. “I’m sorry, I just spilled-” You want to apologize, but Spencer calls your name to catch your attention.

“Baby, it's okay. It's okay to let that out. You need to. And I’m here to listen to you. I would never judge you for telling me what you are feeling. I love you so so much. I know you are doing your best, and I wish I could be more helpful, too. After all, I‘m the one who left his guard down.”

“What can I do, Spencer? How can I help you? I feel so lost right now,” you admit, and Spencer understands perfectly your frustration.

“The only thing I dare to ask you is to keep loving me. Please. To know you are here and that you love me gives me a reason to go on. To fight.”

“There isn’t a universe where I don’t love you. I’m your wife through thick and thin,” you tell him, voice full of emotion.

It is raw and utterly true. Spencer’s glassy eyes are evidence of how your words hit him in the best way possible.

“I love you,” he mutters, resting his palm on the glass. You mimic his gesture to match your palm with his.

“I love you, too.”

The visit ends not much later, but you can discuss the lack of progress in the investigation and how important it is that Spencer remember more details of his days in Mexico. This will give you a clue about who Scratch’s partner can be.

You go home with a bittersweet taste. Seeing Spencer and talking to him is the sweet one, but the lack of good news is the bitter one.

In the afternoon, you call Emily to tell her about your visit to Milburn and ask for updates. While you do so, your stomach reminds you how little you have been eating in the past few days. Between the bug you think you had and the stress, your last meals haven’t quite achieved the minimum nutrient requirements. So, after an inner struggle, you go to the kitchen and cook something better than tea and crackers.

You boost some energy into your system and use that to do some of the house chores. The place is kind of a mess.

That's why at night when you let your head hit the pillow, you’re fast asleep in a matter of minutes. And unlike the days prior, you dream.

-

You and Spencer are sitting side by side on the jet, discussing the last case you closed—coincidentally, your first case as a BAU official member. ‘How is it that she didn't notice any signs of being pregnant? I mean, your body changes; you should notice it at some point,’ you argue, talking about the unsub wife, who didn't know she was expecting until the day she gave birth. ‘It’s not that uncommon. The known symptoms of pregnancy can include missed periods, tender and swollen breasts, nausea or vomiting, increased urination, fatigue, and food aversions or cravings. However, each woman's experience with pregnancy can vary significantly, and not everyone will experience all of these signs. Plus, some of those symptoms can be related to other health affections, such as stress, digestive issues, or even blood imbalance like anemia.’ ‘Why do you know a lot of things about those things? The last time I checked, none of your PhDs were related to an MD.’ ‘I like to know about a lot of things. And I read a lot.” ‘I can tell.’

-

You wake up startled from your dream. Why did your brain trigger that specific memory right now in your dream? Sitting on your bed, still panting from the sudden wake-up, you go to recheck.

It does not take you much time to connect the dots. Fatigue, morning sickness, mood swings, food aversion. When was the last time you got your period?

Fuck. Fuck. And fuck.

You jump from the bed, pacing in your room. No. It can’t be.

But after a quick trip to the pharmacy at five in the morning and three pregnancy tests later, you get your answer: the three came positive. You are pregnant.

What will this mean in the vast aspects of your life? In this timing and these circumstances?

You don't have answers. You don’t have anything at hand to help you think clearly, so you decide to go to the person who maybe can see this from a better perspective: Emily.

When Emily opens the door, she looks already concerned that you’re knocking on her door at 6 AM, and her worry worsens when she sees you crying.

“Hey, what is it? Why are you crying? What happened?” As every question leaves Emily’s mouth, she rushes you inside her apartment and makes you sit on the couch.

You feel like you're having a hard time breathing, but you close your eyes and do your best not to collapse on your friend’s floor. Emily moves quickly and goes to the kitchen to grab a glass of water with some sugar to calm the nerves. After you take some sips, Emily holds the glass and leaves it on the coffee table. Now, with her full attention on you, you know she needs answers.

“Emily, I’m pregnant.”

Without any prompting, the words leave your lips. And it still feels so foreign to you. Even if the three pregnancy tests on your bathroom counter can confirm it’s something real. It’s your reality right now.

Emily is silent, not because she doesn't know what to say, but most of all because she wants to gauge your reaction and know your thoughts about it. Your face is unreadable, though.

“Are you sure? Did you check with a doctor?”

She thinks it’s a cautious question, considering everything that has been going on, and it could be a false positive.

“Not with a doctor. But three different tests say I’m pregnant. Em, what I’m going to do?”

“Okay. Let’s see,” your friend prompts. “First of all, we need to get you checked. The past months have been rough, and we need to know how your health is. Then you can think about what to do.”

You still can’t wrap your head around the idea of being pregnant. But when the doctor confirms you are, it becomes real. Fortunately, Emily is by your side when this happens because you’re sure you have fainted without anyone to ground you there.

“How are you feeling?”

Emily returns with you to your apartment after the doctor’s appointment. She’s handing you a mug of tea while you’re tuck-sitting on the couch, hugging your knees.

“I don’t know. I mean- I don’t know,” you confess as Emily joins you on the couch.

“It's okay if you don’t know yet. You need time to process it.”

“Do I have time to do that? Knowing Spencer is in jail and - and this,” you look at your still non-existent baby bump. “And this is happening? What am I going to do?”

“It’s not ideal, but you need to think this through. I can’t tell you what to do because it’s your choice.”

Your choice. And the less you want to do is to decide big things these days.

“At least tell me what you think. An insight can help here.”

Emily contemplates her answer for a moment.

“Okay. Have you had this conversation with Spencer before? The kids thing?”

“Yeah. We agreed that, at some point, we want to. I guess that's why we haven’t done much to prevent it.”

That's the thing. It's not that you both were actively trying, but the fact that it is happening now? It's not the best timing.

“Well, if that's the case, just know I’m here to support you. Whatever you decide to do. I’m not going to judge you. No one will do. Not even Spencer, okay?”

You know Emily is telling the truth, and you appreciate her support, although you still don’t know what your choice will be on this. The only thing you‘re certain right now is how complicated everything has turned out.

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