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Meet the Family 2
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.(petite!reader)
Characters: Lloyd Hansen
Note: I love writing toxic people.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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“Mr. Hansen--” You begin, choking on your error, “Lloyd, my flight--” 
“Christ, I told you, cancel it. I’ll add the difference to your next check,” he grits under his breath. 
You plant your feet, shifting despite your effort as he keeps his grip on your hand. He turns back with a grunt. 
“What’re you doing?” He asks. 
“No, what are you doing?” You throw back. “What the hell is going on?” 
“First, watch that sweet mouth of yours. Second, we’ve been through this, Pixie pie. You just need to play along,” he keeps his voice low and peeks over his shoulder. “Loosen up a bit.” He loosens his hold on you and runs his hand up your sleeve. “Hm, I guess I shoulda told you to dress up a bit.” 
“What?” You look down at your black cotton tea-length dress. You chose it for comfort but it’s not entirely frumpy. The ribbed stockings might not add much to the attire however. 
“Just...” He grabs your shoulders and nudges them back, “push the chest out a bit.” 
“Ugh,” you clasp onto his wrists, “stop. Okay. I’ll stay for dinner but I can’t miss my flight--” 
“You have to,” he argues. 
“You realise this is wildly inappropriate,” you say. 
“Do you really expect anything different?” He tweaks a brow. “You’re staying. I’m not doing this alone. I put it off for a decade already--” 
“Jesus--” 
“No blasphemy either,” he lets go of you and presses his finger to your lips. You growl and shove his hand away. 
“I want a bonus, a big bonus--” 
He hushes you and waves his hands. He leans back and once more looks over his shoulders. “Later. We’ll deal with numbers in private. Right now, you need to come meet your in-laws.” 
You squint at him. It’s an act, you remind yourself, but something about his commitment to it makes you uneasy. You know better than to believe a word that comes out of his mouth but there’s a degree of earnestness in him that’s unsettling. 
“Baby, please, don’t look at me like that,” he steps closer, “I need you to look at me like I’m the second coming, okay? We’re madly in love, you and I.” Your eyes widen and he sighs, “okay, you’re not scared of me.” 
You neutralise your expression and blow out a long breath. You shake away the tension and shrug. It’s as good as you can do. 
“Here,” he grabs your wrist and turns, guiding your arm through his, “just smile pretty for me.” 
He hooks your elbow with his and urges you onward. You steel yourself for the room of strangers as their voices drift through the archway.  
You enter the front room and quickly scan the space; there’s a large-mouthed hearth, lit and draped in evergreen and berries; a long cream sectional, a matching duo of armchairs, and a chaise in the same shade; a low glass coffee table with a golden perch and a console table in a similar style along the wall crowded with bottles and crystal; an area rug in a smooth white with patterns in dulcet beige and rich butterscotch; and the low din is cast by tea lights daintily set around the space in glass holders and candelabra. 
More pressing than the decor are the bodies that fill the room. You recognise Ransom as he speaks with an older woman with short white hair and thick-framed glasses. She wears a red pantsuit with a gold blouse. Very festive. 
You glance over at Lloyd and take him in fully. You hadn’t paid much attention for the whirlwind all around. He wears a pair of evergreen slacks and a sweater with a reindeer's face on the front. He wouldn’t even let you put tinsel on your desk but now he’s dressed like a kid in a holiday parade. 
“Looks like someone didn’t get the memo,” a tall blonde woman approaches with a glass of pale wine in hand. You try not to look with concern at her rounded middle; it sticks out starkly as her long limbs are thin and lithe. “A very grim Christmas indeed.” 
“Lillian,” Lloyd faces the woman about his own height. She has his eyes and his lips. You assume their relation before he declares it. “My sister, Pixie,” he gestures to her carelessly. 
“Older sister,” she preens and rests her hand on her swollen stomach. Your eyes flick away from the crystal in her hand. 
“By about thirty-one seconds,” Lloyd scoffs. 
“Oh, sweetie, it’s non-alcoholic,” she swirls the wine in her glass, “she’s so tiny and quiet.” 
“Ahem,” you clear your throat, “it’s nice to meet you.” 
She laughs, “oh, so polite. Entirely not his type.” 
You try not to react. You agree. You know the women that Lloyd really likes. You’ve screened their calls until they just give up on getting a second date. 
“Believe it or not, Lil, you’re not everyone’s type,” Lloyd retorts. “I think your ex-husband would agree. The second one too.” Lloyd lifts his chin and looks around, “is the third here or are we on number four?” 
“Lovely,” she spits. “Love you too, brother.” 
He shakes his head and draws you away from her. She raises her brows and her glass and sips. You let him take you away. You already despise most of these people. The room radiates with derision. Your family might have some grudges but there’s a general air of good will. 
“I need a drink,” he mutters. 
You gladly follow him to the table. He pours himself a tumbler from the boxy decanter. He sighs as he picks it up but stops himself from drinking. 
“Well, help yourself,” he says. 
You hesitate but not for long. You need something if you’re going to get through this. You pour yourself some chardonnay and sidle away from the table. You check your watch as you raise your glass. 
“Don’t fucking worry about your flight,” he hisses under his breath. “If I’m not getting out of this, you aren’t either.” 
“But why?” You ask behind the glass. 
“Not right now,” he warns and nods at another figure as they approach. “Uncle Benson.” 
“Junior,” the man returns. You drink your wine and don’t comment on the epithet. “Where’s the old man?” 
“Where he always is,” Lloyd replies. 
“Mm, and this is...” the older man looks at you pointedly, dipping his chin to do so. 
“Pixie. My fiancee,” Lloyd answers dully, almost deflating. 
“Benson,” the man offers his hand, “but a pretty girl like you can call me Benny.” 
“Benny,” Lloyd repeats to himself in confusion. 
You shake Benson’s hand, “um, thanks, nice to meet you.” 
“Mm, very nice to meet you,” he lifts your hand and smushes his lips to your knuckles. He clings to you, petting your hand. “You’re gorgeous, what’re you doing with this lump?” 
“Uncle,” Lloyd drones. 
“Adorable,” Benson inches closer, “my inheritance is bigger than his, among other things.” 
“Alright,” Lloyd snatches your hand away from him, “go have some water, Benson,” he growls, “think you’ve been into the brandy.” 
“I’d like to get into something else,” Benson snickers. 
You almost laugh, despite your disgust. You’ve heard that line before. Lloyd puts himself between you and the older man. “I think that’s why Carolyn filed the papers, huh.” 
“Oh, you little twat,” Benson snarls. “Fine, fine, I’ll leave you to disappoint her on your own.” 
Lloyd tuts and shakes his head as the man lumbers off. He turns around and drains his glass. It’s strange, seeing him in his natural habitat; he’s not so ‘alpha’ here. 
“Let’s get the rounds over with.” He grumbles. 
Your wine lasts you through the introductions. Two more uncles; Carter and Linus, along with their wives, Andrea and Angela. Then the full-blooded aunts; four of them, Raquel, Shanna, Beatrice, and Lana. All of them tall, blonde, and bold in their own way. Then a batch of cousins you can’t keep sorted; Ransom and his mother Linda, among them, with no explanation as to the rest of their tribe. 
Lloyd pours himself more whiskey. You abstain from a refill and stand near the wall, observing the wilderness of entitled trust-funders. It explains so much yet inspires so many more questions. You never expected Lloyd to be the dark horse. 
“Lonely?” The timbre startles you along with the twisting pinch on your ass.  
You yipe and snag the attention of several sets of eyes around the room, not least of all Benson, drooling over another snifter of dark alcohol. You swat Ransom’s hand away and face him amid the row of laughter. Despite the airs they put on, your audience is more amused than appalled. 
“Where’s your prince, huh?” Ransom asks. “All that whiskey and...” He holds up his index then lets it go limp, “don’t think it’ll be a very peppy after party, sweetheart.” 
You sniff and cross your arms. These people are at least consistent, grossly so. It makes you wonder why Lloyd was so insistent that you watch your mouth, especially when you’ve never stooped to his level before. 
“Is it much of a party if there’s only one attendee?” You counter. 
He narrows his eyes and tilts his head, “what?” 
“Nothing,” you shake our head. You don’t need to explain the joke. Besides, this is all fake. Don’t let it get to you. 
“So, how long did he wait to put that ugly thing on your finger?” Ransom asks. 
You shrug, “long enough.” 
“Did he do the whole schtick? Get down on one knee? Put the ring in your wine glass?” He prods. 
“I’ll let him tell the story,” you say. 
“Hm, never knew a woman so unexcited about a wedding,” he snorts. 
“Maybe I’m just unexcited by my company,” you back away as his hand jiggles at his side. You eye his fingers, wary of another pinch. 
“Fine, marriage is boring anyways. What’s his favourite position? I always figured he lets the ladies do all the work,” he snickers. 
You stare at him. Not quite as offended as annoyed. You could ask him which hand he uses but you are not letting Lloyd drag you that low. Why are you even letting him put your through this? 
“Hugh,” Lloyd appears and slides his arm over your shoulders. 
“Little L,” Ransom retorts dryly. 
“Shut up,” Lloyd sneers as you resist the urge to shrug him off of you. 
“Where were you then? Leaving your woman all on her lonesome,” Ransom rubs his fingers together subtly and you scowl at him. 
“Broke the seal,” Lloyd deflects. “What do you care? You wanna hold it next time? 
“Hands are too big,” Ransom cackles. 
“Speaking of,” you pipe up. “The bathroom, where would that be?” 
Lloyd clucks and looks down at you, “down the hall, opposite the kitchen.” 
“Thanks,” you carefully slip away from him, “I’ll be back.” 
“Wait,” Lloyd catches your arm and pulls you back. “Not without this.” 
He leans in before you can react. He bends to press his lips to yours and you can’t repress a surprised squeak. He purrs and the vibration makes your skin crawl. What on earth?! 
You part and ignore the stares you can feel all around. Not just from Ransom but the rest of the room. What is he doing? That’s so embarrassing. 
You force a smile, “uh, be back.” 
You spin and scurry away. That room, those people, are suffocating, and Lloyd, not least of all. You hide in the bathroom, locking the door, and you take the moment of stillness to think. Big mistake as it all starts to set in. 
You drove all the way here under false pretenses. It’s believable that Lloyd would forget to bring the gifts. That tracks but this? The whole pretending to be engaged? What is his game? Is he really trying to impress anyone or is he torturing you? Why? 
You can’t figure any of it out. You gave up trying to understand your boss ages ago, you suppose you should do the same with these people and just get through this. For all your trouble, the food better be fucking delicious. 
You let yourself out of the bathroom and flatten against the door as you nearly collide with another person. Lillian nearly stomps right over you as she holds her stomach and rushes down the hallway. She lets out a sigh. 
“Oh, are you done in there? I’m splitting at the seams,” she trills. 
“Um, yeah, all done,” you sidle away from the door. 
“Could I trouble you for some help?” She asks. “This thing,” she pats her stomach, “I can get down but I can’t get up.” 
“Hm?” You furrow your brow in confusion, “help?” 
“We’re both girls,” she giggles. “And we’ll be sisters soon enough, won’t we?” 
“Um.” 
“You know, a pregnancy at my age, I really can’t strain myself,” she explains. 
“Oh, er, I guess--” 
“Thanks, sweetie,” she nudges you back into the bathroom. You have no choice as she heard you through. 
You stare at the wall as she slams the door and hustles over to the toilet. She pulls up her white dress and turns to sit, her silhouette a blur in your peripheral. You flick your eyes to the ceiling and bounce on your heels. 
Her stream flows out and fills the tense silence. She sighs. 
“Thank the lord,” she groans. “I swear, the little twerp is right on my bladder right now.” 
“Mm,” you nod and glance at the door. 
“I knew we should’ve gone with a surrogate,” she sniffs. “A piece of advice, when he puts one in you, make him suffer.” 
“Puts one...” you blink. “Um, I don’t...” 
“I mean, he’ll have to start trying as soon as the wedding night,” she laughs. “He’s getting up there. His swimmers won’t be as fast, will they? And the way he drinks, they’ll be too groggy to know which way is which.” 
“Um, we’ll worry about the wedding first--” 
“Enjoy it. Once you’re tied down, it’s not very much fun,” she says as she tears of tissue. “Alright then, darling, I need you.” 
You do your best not to see all of her. She reaches for you and you get close. You pull her up to her feet and she squeezes past you to the sink. You look at the toilet and shut the lid, flushing it with a push of the button. She washes her hands with a hum. 
“You’ll be so adorable when you’re big. Like an overstuffed teddy bear,” she chimes. “He’ll love that. He always did hate feeling small.” She twists off the faucet and dries her hands. “You must make him feel like the man he wishes he was.” 
You just look at her. You have no true reason to defend Lloyd, but because she’s so smug it irks you. You look her in the face, even if you feel ridiculous having to look up. 
“Well, he can piss on his own, so I think he’s just fine,” you step around her and swing open the door. The silence that follows you is the only satisfying thing about that night. 
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linsaangs · 14 hours ago
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is anyone interested in beta reading my book manuscript. its an adult high fantasy story about shapeshifting dragons and imperialism and its over 250000 words.
i dont want to spoil it or show you the characters by nature of i need to know how the book stands alone without art and my character explanations.
edit: if yes please say so in the comments or tags or dm me and ill add you on discord and send you the manuscript ^-^
uh also this IS an adult story so 18+ readers only. general content warning in the story for mention of sexual assault and grooming. walks away
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lunarsolar1 · 4 months ago
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Sorry for not being super active, I haven’t been doing well health wise so I might take a small break! I’m going to try to come back and repost some stuff but, no promises :( I feel horrible
I’m also going to be slow in replying, sorry if I don’t message back asap!!!!
In case anyone’s curious why I haven’t reposted a lot or haven’t made dbda posts! I’ll come back when I’m feeling better ❤️
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razrogue · 5 months ago
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Folks should be mindful when engaging with Black creator's OCs through appreciation type stuff (gifts of fanart/fanfic/etc).
If you're unsure if you're capturing the essence/appearance/personality of their OC, ASK!
I understand wanting to surprise a creator with a gift because you want to show your appreciation for their OC. But that gift is harmful when the creator sees you've whitewashed their OC or applied stereotypes or tropes that aren't a part of the character.
When in doubt, ask
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thekittyokat · 7 months ago
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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nc-vb · 1 year ago
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𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐚, 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚, & 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬
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a long time coming that I've meant to compile a list, but it just kept growing and growing and growing...
the webtoon list includes my very personal & important in-my-heart recommendations. aaaaand the rest are mostly smutty, kinky, and even a little dark.......... do not perceive, just enjoy. and support the official author's work and translations if you can!!
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if there are any in this list you'd like a heads up about before reading, feel free to drop me an ask and I'll give you my honest opinion/review.
if you're having trouble locating anything, shoot me an ask (because i have most, if not all, of the links saved).
and feel free to gush to me if you liked any of them!! i'm always happy to talk about mmm's.
[updated july 3rd, 2023] - newly added titles are in green.
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𝐵𝐿 = boy's love genre 𝐆𝐋 = girl's love genre 𝟏+ = includes harems & poly relationships ❤ = absolute masterpieces, highly recommended! ! = proceed with extreme caution/heed all warnings
please heed all warnings and tags found within each of these recommendations, as well as my own warnings from the symbol legend above and found throughout this post.
some of these are sfw and some aren't. some of these aren't for the faint of heart and will be marked to be read at your own risk. additionally, not all are translated into English. 𝐵𝐿/𝐆𝐋 are separate from the general list.
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𝐖𝐄𝐁𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐍
A Messy Fairy Tale 𝟏+
A Summer Night's Dream
Age Matters ❤
Back to You
Bailin and Li Yun BL❤
Bitten Contract
Boyfriend of the Dead
Castle Swimmer BL
City of Blank
Dating With a Tail
Daytime Star
Devil Number 4 ❤
Devilish Romance
Down to Earth
Dreaming Freedom
Ghost Wife
Ghostly Buddie
Half-Ghost
Harem of LuuAnh
Hello Baby ❤
I'm the Grim Reaper
I Love Yoo ❤
It's Mine
Jeff's Disorders
Kind of Confidential
Little Rain
Lore Olympus ❤
Love Advice from the Great Duke of Hell ❤
Mage & Demon Queen GL
Marry Me!
Maybe Meant to Be
Meow Man
Midnight Poppy Land
Midnight Rain
Mom, I'm Sorry
Morgana and Oz
Muse on Fame
My Beloved Emperor
My Dear Cold-Blooded King
My Four Husbands 𝟏+
My In-Laws are Obsessed with Me ❤
My Lovely Bodyguard
Nice to Meet You
Not Even Bones
Operation: True Love ❤
Pastel-colored Pages
Phase
Scorching Romance
See You in My 19th Life ❤
Selina ~ Moon Bride ~
Siren's Lament ❤
Soleil
Space Boy
Strange and Wild
SubZero
Swimming Lessons for a Mermaid ❤
Take Off BL
The Devil is a Handsome Man
The First Night With the Duke ❤
The Guy Upstairs
The Newlywed Diary of a Witch and a Dragon ❤
The RUNWAY
There Must Be Happy Endings
To the Stars and Back BL
Trapped ❤
Unlovable Replacement
When Jasy Whistles ❤❤
Winter Woods
Your Smile is a Trap ❤
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𝐒𝐅𝐖
Abe-kun's Got Me Now! (Abe-kun ni Nerawaretemasu)
A Master, Who Woke Up As a Concubine ❤
And Yet, You Are So Sweet (Na no ni, Chigira-kun amasugiru)
Beloved in-Laws (poor transl.)
Bon Appétit ❤
Don't Blush, Sekime
Forget My Husband, I'll Go Make Money (Aug 2023)
Golden Forest !
I, My, Me, Mine ❤ (アイマイミーマイ��)
I Became the Male Lead's Adopted Daughter
I Can't Keep Up With My Stallion Duke ❤❤
I Will Change the Genre
I Will Rewrite the Dead End Novel
In the Clear Moonlit Dusk ❤ (Uruwashi no Yoi no Tsuki)
It's My Destiny to Be the Hero's Saviour !
Kubo Won't Let Me Be Invisible
Love's in Sight!
Loving Yamada at Lv 999 ❤❤❤
Male Lead, I'll Respect Your Taste !
Ookami no Musume ❤❤
Pink and Habanero ❤ (Pink to Habanero)
Protected by My Dragon Knight (Seijo wa Ryuukishi-sama ni Mamorarete)
Scary Faced High Schooler and Miss Plain Jane
Second Life of a Trash Princess
Sinking too deep in your rabbit hole, now I'm drowning in your love
Stella Next to Me ❤ (Tonari no Stella)
The Cunning Princess and the Shark ❤
The Fragrant Flower Blooms With Dignity ❤ (Kaoru Hana wa Rin to Saku)
The Muscle Girl Next Door
The Obsessive Second Male Lead Has Gone Wild
The Reasons We Fall in Love ❤ (Watashi-tachi ga koisuru riyuu)
The Tyrant's Comfort Doll !
To the Dear F-Phantom of the Opera (Shinai naru F e: Opera-za no Kaijin)
Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun ❤ (Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun)
Vampire Lord's Greatest Wife ❤
Welcome to the Yandere Cafe (rating subject to change)
Yojouhan no Ibara Hime
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𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐅𝐖
あざと可愛い✕くんの執着サド交尾は本物です x!!!
無能力巫女は狛犬の淫紋快楽漬け x❤!
2LDK IKEMEN Tsuki Bukken Arimasu !!
A Dream Between the Sheets ❤❤
A Gentle Sea Monster and a Lonely Girl !
A Predator in a Skirt !
A Sip of Poison !
Boy's Abyss (subject to change, new read) !!
Childhood Friend's Secret Massage !
Consort to the Fox Spirit Lord
Dark Fall !
Depths of Malice !
Devoured by a Bookworm Girl !
Fire in His Fingertips ❤
Former Delinquent Farmer's Sex Appeal is Dangerous!
From Him to Who? ~Sex With My Body-Snatched Husband ❤
Gokudou to Omega - Mukidashi no Katsuai
Hana's Demons of Lust !
Hare-kon 𝟏+
Heat 200 Meters Away (200 M Saki no Netsu)
Honey, I'm Going On a Strike!
How to Make a Frigid Girl Cum
I'm in Love With Mr. Hanabusa
Lady K and the Sick Man ❤❤
Last Order wa Ojou-san de Dekiai Jouren Kyaku ni Kyuuai saretemasu
Junai - Pure Wet Love
Kuma to Tora ~Taikakusa Osananajimi no Hajimete kara, Kemono ni Naru 2-kakan made~ x
Madoka Exorcist ❤!
Mede Little Roy !
Mr. Tada is a Top Performer
Muttsuri Akazukin-kun kara wa nige rarenai
My Cold Co-worker Obsessively Loves Me
Pet Baby Doll
Pygmalion's Savior is a Big But Immature Love Monster !❤
Red Hot Proposal: Surrounded by His Tanned Body
Sadistic Beauty !!!!
Sakaki the Lazybones Shows His Talents at Night ❤❤
Sapphire Dew ~ Infatuated Gentlemanly Boyfriend Seizes the Initiative !
Seishun no Hekireki
Seriously can't pass this up. - Kohai's passionate sex won't stop until morning
Sinful Nun Pays Penitence to the Serpent ❤❤
Spring Amidst My Wintertide ❤
Superstitious Nine ❤
Sweet Lies Layered Like a Mille Feuille ❤
Tadano Renai Nanka de Kikkonai ❤❤
The Golden Forest !
The Goldfish’s Corpse Lies at the Bottom of the Swamp !!!!!!!!
The Greengrocer is a Carnivore in Bed!?
The Man Who Saved Me in My Isekai Trip Was a Killer!!!!!!!
The Neighbor in Room 203 Disappeared Leaving a Key Behind !!!!!!!
The Reincarnated Saint Falls for the Demon Lord
The Tainted Half !
The Virgin Witch
The Weird Senior in the Seat Next to Me ❤❤❤! (Tonari Senpai)
Toshishita Osananajimi ga Watashi o Shibatte Hanasa nai! x
Totem's Realm
Touching is Better Than Looking
Under the Oak Tree
Until the Obedient Bodyguard Exposes the Body and the Lie of the Fake Lady ❤
"Wanna Cum?" The Pure Taiga Advances Slow and Sweet ❤❤
Welcome to the Muscle Salon ❤❤❤
When Beauty Meets Beasts
When You Are Reincarnated As The villain NPC's Girl And Be Loved By The Strongest Prince Who Is Not A Capture Target !!
Wild Eyes
Will You Pledge Your Love to an Incubus?
Wish Upon a Husband
Yaba Ai Instructor !
You're Too Cute for Me to Be Gentle
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𝐁𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒
4 Week Lovers BL
A Handless Day BL!
A Hot Wet Job for Three -Adult Toy Tester- BL, 𝟏+
A Kiss for You, My Shinobi BL
A Tree Without Roots BL❤!
Angel Buddy BL❤❤
Bidou Wakadanna Koi Shitau Wa Koushoku Otoko BL❤
Bitten by Moonlight BL
Black Mirror BL!!!
Blind Play BL!!
Can't Think Straight BL
Cherry Blossoms After Winter BL
Confession Night BL
Dangerous Convenience Store BL
Dawn of the Dragon BL
Dear Door BL
DEATH or LOVE BL
Delinquent Omega Belongs to the Beast King BL
Demon of Lustful Hell BL
Desharow Merman BL❤
Die If You Aren't a Virgin BL
Eat Me Up, My Husband BL!
Ennead
Eunsoo's Good Day BL
Eye Contact BL
Fake Fact Lips BL
Frenemies: Thicker Than Blood BL❤
Friends, Engaged
Fucking in the Dorms BL!
Ghost Gate BL!!!!!
Healing Paradox BL❤
He's a Better Top Than Me?! BL
Home Far Away BL❤!!!
Horeta Otoko wa Shin'yuu de BL!
Housekeeper's Love Affair BL
How to convince your best friend to sleep with you BL
Hyperventilation BL❤❤❤
I Didn't Ask You to Eat Me!
I Love You, Nothing Else Matters BL❤
In an Empty Classroom BL
Indigo BL
I Ship My Rival x Me BL
It's Just a Dream... Right? BL❤❤❤
Jinx BL!
Kabukicho Bad Trip BL
Kiss de Egaku Ittousei BL❤
Kiss Me, Liar BL!
Lala no Kekkon BL!
Liveta BL
Love in Kitsch BL
Love is an Illusion BL!
Love Jinx BL❤
Low Tide in Twilight BL!!
Mad Dog BL❤❤
Miscreants and Mayhem BL
Missing Love BL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (<I cannot express this enough.)
My Delicious Dream Boy BL❤
My Demon Crybaby, Maria BL
My Partner Suddenly Got Younger - An Omega Caretaker Plays Alpha BL!
Natsu no Teppen ni Saku BL
Old-Fashioned Cupcake BL❤❤ (has a j-drama)
Pain, Sweet Pain BL
Passion BL
Payback BL❤❤❤
Pearl Boy BL❤!!!!!!
Pink Heart Jam BL❤❤
Please, Candy! BL!
Roses and Champagne BL!
Sadistic Beauty: Side Story BL!!!!!!
Secret Inside My Head BL❤❤❤
Semantic Error BL (has a j-drama)
Sensei wa Nekketsu ga Areba Juubunda! BL!
Sick BL
Sign BL❤❤❤
Sketch BL❤
Speak of the Devil BL
Steel Under Silk BL❤
Surge Looking for You BL❤
Sweet Trap BL
Tabetemo Oishiku Arimasen BL
Tentacle Recipe BL(?)❤
The Blessed Life of a Retired Nian Monster BL
The Crybaby's at the Mean Devil's Mercy BL❤
The Foxy Mouse's Romance BL
The Origin of Species BL!
The Pizza Delivery Man and the Gold Palace BL
The Pure-Hearted Puppy and the Erotic Tattoo BL❤
The Silent Concubine BL!
The Unquenchable Mr. Kim BL❤
The Words in Your Snare BL❤❤❤
To Take An Enemy's Heart BL!
Tomodachi Engagement BL
Trick Turned Into a Threesome With the Tachibana Brother BL
Under the Greenlight BL
Unexpectedly Naughty Fukami BL❤
Unromantic Romance BL❤
Young Lover BL!!
Your Wish is My Command BL❤
Yours to Claim BL
Zenryaku, Onii-chan wa Seijo ni Narimashita BL!
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more recommendations will likely be added as time goes on! feel free to copy these recs for your own checklist of 'to reads'.
hope you enjoy them like i did! :)
257 notes · View notes
angeart · 3 months ago
Note
How dare Link correctly predict my reaction to teases, how dare (<3) YES I wanna know what prompted the upset, what well meaning thing went so wrong D: And that bit about still hoping to be loved breaks my heart for them
-🎀
the bit about still hoping to be loved broke my heart too, and that's why i needed to include it <3
so, about hermits wanting to help them. one smaller example is them taking a look at scar's tattered wings and suggesting that maybe they could help fix them. which is good!
but this comes after scar having his wings like this for about a year, and it took a long time for him to learn to accept them as they are. he's no longer ashamed of them, seeing them simply as a part of himself now. (the same way his scars have always been)
and, sure, he will still take a chance at having them healed, but it still rubs him wrong, in a way. even though it's a kind, well-meaning offer. because it proposes that he needs to be fixed.
but a whole big issue stems from something else.
we know scar and grian have changed.
grian, in particular, flinches a lot and seems scared. scar, on the other hand, often shields grian, and calls on his vex traits to intimidate the danger away, showing he's not afraid to fight. (he is afraid. he's constantly afraid.) and they're both awfully codependent, clinging to each other and isolating from everyone else.
[1,7k rambles and ~3,2k rp snippets below the cut]
one of the things they leaned into in that other world was their hybrid traits. and they show in the way they interact with each other, you know? the way they express trust and love and know what the other one needs.
well, scar is a vex.
we know there's a mating bite, but that's not everything. him and grian indulge in a lot of biting and blood related stuff. all consensual! grian is a little freak so he likes it!
it's something the two of them do, privately and intimately. it's safe, it's fun, it's theirs. them being insanely in love and ready to give all of themselves over. lose all of control on both sides, at least for a moment, in a world that hardly allows such a thing.
but here's the issue: the others don't know anything about any of it. they don't know what scar and grian have been through. they don't know anything about vex instincts or mating rituals. they don't understand anything about this new thing.
so when they see grian timid, bruised and bitten? and they know that scar seems more violent now, sharp-fanged and clawed?
let's just say they get concerned. and stage a bit of an intervention.
they just want to make sure that grian is okay! it... should be a good thing. except they've separated them and are now cornering grian, asking all these questions and voicing all these assumptions. and it's a bit awful, actually.
grian is pressed into having to explain that yeah, actually, he wanted all of that. that it's love.
but him naming the so obvious damage love just rings more alarm bells. and maybe someone asks him if it's a form of self harm, to allow that to happen to him? like, if grian seeks it out, is it self destructive? is that why he craves it?
and sort of, him and scar spiral about this in different ways.
grian struggles with untangling his way out of it, because what if they're right? what if he subconsciously sought harm? but he liked it? is it wrong to enjoy it? he knows that he had his moments when he was actively trying to bring himself damage. mostly aimed at his wings—plucking out his feathers and such. but is this just another thing like that? a substitute damage of sorts? was he just oblivious this whole time?
grian never had a previous relationship experience, so he really can't tell what is love. where does it end and Something Bad begins? he associates the bites with love, but is that bad? is he wrong? would it feel different if someone else showed him that love is something else? did he just manipulate himself into feeling like this and now he's in too deep?
at least he knows scar would never hurt him if grian says no. if grian doesn't want it. but... if grian wants it... is it self destructive? is that what it means? or maybe he was just chasing the aftermath? the soft care (that scar'd offer regardless)?
his mind is a mess and he can't figure out what his real feelings in this all are. he doesn't know how to figure it out. he gets really confused and worried and scared. (he's terrified that they're right, not necessarily for himself, but because of what that'd do to scar.) (he's scared that scar will blame himself over this. that no matter the outcome, this is inevitably going to mess something up between the two of them.)
in the meanwhile, scar feels like a monster. like maybe he was doing something wrong this whole time. was he enabling something horrible? was he genuinely hurting grian this whole time, unaware?
because he's a vex, and it makes sense to want this on his end, but grian is an avian, and... maybe scar should've questioned it more? shouldn't have been so eager to indulge? did he do something irreparably cruel without meaning to?
through this all, he reassures grian it's okay to take a break from it, or even to completely stop. it's fine! it's always been fine! but despite that, their feelings continue to spiral, caught in a maze they can't escape.
it used to be so simple. back in the vex commune. scar never had to doubt himself and the way they express their love. not when it came to this.
and now suddenly it seems so different. so vile and wrong and horrible. people are genuinely concerned and scar and grian wonder, separately, if maybe they're right to be?
... eventually they both hurtle towards a breaking point. and scar decides he needs to talk to someone about it. and grian decides he needs to be alone for a moment, becoming overwhelmed, needing some space to think.
i really want to tell you about what happens in the talk scar has with the others, but i can't. not quite yet.
anyway, this is where the breakdowns come in. (yes. multiple.)
first is scar's during the conversation he has. he gets to hear a lot of good, wise, reassuring things, but ultimately, he still needs to hear from grian. he's been trying so hard not to influence grian's conclusion to all of this, but. he needs to know grian's thoughts, once grian is ready.
grian is not ready. he's been growing so emotionally worn out from all of this, so volatile and fragile. it's all a bit Too Much.
scar messages him, checking up on him.
are you okay?
and
i'm here waiting for you whenever you come back
and
but i'll come find you if you want me to
and
i love you
... but here's the thing, right? neither scar nor grian are used to comms anymore. so grian doesn't read any of that.
they regress back to what they know.
scar howls.
grian chirps.
and only then does scar's comm ping.
come.
zero hesitation, scar unfolds his wings and jumps off the balcony, rushing towards where that chirp came from. he's being called. he's being wanted.
he'd go anywhere for grian.
he finds grian perched atop a tree. struggles to climb up, but never falters. because grian's now starting to cry, and scar needs to be there.
tucked safely into scar's gentle, loving arms, grian breaks down.
--
with a hitched sob, grian falls forwards into scar's arms, burrowing easily into the warmth and familiarity and security.
he wants to say he's sorry. he's sorry this is so hard for him. he's sorry he can't untangle this; sorry he can no longer tell which are his feelings and which are just things people have suggested he might feel. he's sorry he's making this so difficult. he's sorry he's worrying everyone.
but words evade him as scar's arms provide just enough safety for his guards to crumble lower, making him just sob instead.
--
and believe it or not, somewhere in the midst of this (hey do have a proper talk, if a bit tear-drenched) is scar's second breakdown. (grian's time to hold him!!!) that's where the rp snippet in the previous ask is from. and you'll get more of that in a second.
first i just need to tease the aftermath, because i'm a menace.
after crying and comforting their hearts out, they fly(!!!) back. there's immense relief to wind in grian's feathers, and a dangerous edge of the feeling of freedom it brings, wanting to soothe all the cracks on his soul... but the truth is, his soul is still cracked. and he's still depleted. he knows he's still hovering over something so incomprehensibly fragile. that the smallest prod will set him off and break him again.
they arrive at their nest—scar first, to warn their company not to ask questions, grian second.
it doesn't stop it from happening. grian was right: the smallest thing can set him off.
so he has another breakdown, possibly a bigger one, drawing on far deeper hurt that screams and tears at his heart. and plunges all three other people in the room into breakdowns of their own <3333
(yes that's the part we can't talk about. yet.)
aNYWAY!!! how about some rp bits.
---------------
SCAR
Despite Grian’s crying being entirely contagious— or perhaps Scar is just simply too empathetic and emotional himself— Scar’s had practice with consoling his sweet bird. He knows what he ought to do here. 
He tightens his hold until it’s snug and secure, then pressed a few little kisses to whatever part of Grian’s head he can reach.
And then he talks.
“I knew you’d be up in a tree somewhere.” His voice wobbles a bit, but it’s alright. “I wanted to give you some time… I missed you though. Like immediately.”
He chuckles softly, knowing their bond borders on codependent, even if it’s something they’ve worked on since they’ve gotten home. Still, it’s okay to poke fun at it, he thinks. It’s okay to admit the truth.
--
GRIAN
grian's sobs quiet down a little as scar talks, energy redirected to hook into the familiar rumble of his slightly quivery voice, sniffling as he listens to what scar has to say. 
it's sometimes hard to decipher the meaning of sentences when he gets like this, but scar doesn't seem to expect an answer; he's not asking him anything, and grian's grateful for being given time, a grace period where he can just cling and cry and calm down while scar holds him. 
he laugh-sobs at the note that it was obvious he'd be in a tree. he's given scar a lot of hard time in the past until he figured out that lesson, but now he always knows unfailingly where to search when grian's heart needs him after cowardly isolation.
he comes every time. he comes and he finds him and he holds him. 
grian sniffles, despondent, burrowing tighter in. he chirps a little to encourage scar to go on, to keep talking; the sound of it is shaky, about to fall apart to pieces, but he thinks it still counts. it's still something. a participation, not leaving scar stranded and alone in this.
--
OK LOOK WE HAVE TO SKIP AHEAD HERE BECAUSE [REDACTED] REASONS
--
GRIAN
grian hums again, fond and soft, slumped against scar with utmost trust. and then he finally says it. "'m sorry."
--
SCAR
"Hey, none of that, mister," Scar says, shaking his head into Grian's hair in more of a no than a nuzzle now. "It was a lot, it's okay. You needed a moment."
He places another kiss.
"And you knew I'd be here in a heartbeat when you were ready, right?" Scar grins sheepishly.
--
GRIAN
grian's hands trace idle patterns on scar's back as he gets comforted by words and another kiss. he closes his eyes, taking it in, before replying with a soft little "yeah."
-- 
SCAR
Scar purrs at the affection, openly so. "Doin' a little better now?"
--
GRIAN
grian nods, still right against scar, clingily pressed into him. "yeah, i... yeah."
--
SCAR
Scar doesn't budge, not interested in releasing his darling bird just yet. "...what's on your mind?" he prompts softly, hoping to get a glimpse at Grian's inner turmoil.
--
GRIAN
with eyes still closed, grian lets the pause linger just a moment, before replying with a quiet but honest, "right now? how nice this feels."
--
SCAR
Scar chuckles again, a little anxiety getting settled by that fact, though certainly not all. "Oh, well that's good, yes. I agree with that sentiment entirely."
--
GRIAN
"good," grian purrs, squeezing at scar. "'coz i don't wanna lose it."
--
SCAR
Scar's ears twitch, something awfully depressing in those few words. "Hey, no, never," he assures. "This is never going away, okay?" 
Since he seriously doubts cuddling is about to give anyone the wrong ideas.
--
GRIAN
grian has to swallow several times for his feelings to not go off the rails again. he takes a shaky breath, still squeezing at scar, as if he was afraid he might disappear. "... okay."
--
SCAR
"And neither am I!" Scar tacks on, even if it should go without saying. Even if it may be a little dramatic. But he thinks maybe Grian needs to hear that fact stated with absolute certainty. "I love you too dang much."
--
GRIAN
that gets grian to loosen his grip a little, enough to shuffle and look up. hair messy and eyes glistening and red rimmed, he looks up at scar with so much aching adoration, it feels like he might drown. 
"i think it's okay if— if we love each other in our own way," he says sheepishly. he ducks down, laying his head on scar's shoulder, feeling shy as his hands go back to tracing patterns on scar's lower back. "even if the others don't understand or agree." there's a precipice of a pause, and then the most timid little "... right?"
--
SCAR
Scar's heart stutters, and his ears flick up again with carefully optimistic anticipation at Grian's words. His eyes threaten to flood over again, but the tears feel different, more cathartic, less miserable. 
He tucks his head over Grian's again, brushing his cheek over his locks affectionately, daring to release a few hopeful tears as Grian says what he desperately hoped he might. 
"I..." he starts, still trying not to influence this decision if he can help it, but... "I think so. ...I mean it's—" He thinks of [REDACTED], and chuckles wetly, morphing them in his own Scar-silly way. "It's not really anyone else's business what we do in the bedroom, is it?"
--
GRIAN
grian's hands still against scar's back, simply holding him for a moment as he soaks up scar's nuzzles. there's wetness to them, something that makes grian's heart ache as he worries about all the possible meanings, but hopes against all hope that it's just scar getting positively emotional—a relief of sorts above all else. 
a small strained chuckle makes it past his lips, and he muffles it into a kiss that he presses into scar's shoulder. "right. exactly."
--
SCAR
Scar weakly smiles, giving Grian a squeeze. "...but seriously, I— you know it's okay if we stop, right? If you ever change your mind— and I mean your mind, nobody else's— then it's fine! But... I... yeah." Another squeeze. "I just want to be sure you know that."
--
GRIAN
there's a barely stifled sigh, but no hint of tension pools across grian's back. his hold remains still and gentle, his head idly leaning on scar's shoulder. "i know," he murmurs.
--
SCAR
"Good," Scar states, ducking lower so his forehead presses into Grian for a moment before releasing just enough so he could escape the big bear hug if he wanted. “... you know, [REDACTED]”
--
WE ARE ACTUALLY TAKING ANOTHER LEAP, ANOTHER SKIP, ANOTHER SCRIBBLED OUT SECTION. bear with us <33
--
SCAR
[REDACTED VERY REDACTED] “I mean, I had to learn all this vex stuff, too. It’s not… I mean it’s certainly not the most family-friendly sort of culture but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong, does it?”
--
GRIAN
grian blinks at that, lifting his head in attention. this really surprises him, for some reason. that [WOO REDACTED AGAIN WOW] 
"oh." he takes a moment, leaning slightly back, inviting scar's touch a little bit further. "yeah... yeah, i think he's—" he bounces the words around in his head again, then settles on: "it's a learning curve every way, isn't it? whenever there's new instincts and..." he skirts around the words mating rituals, feeling a faint warmth rise up to his cheeks. he looks away briefly, teething at his bottom lip as he thinks of all the worries he himself used to have, all the mistakes kane made, all the effort and talking and correcting it took for things to finally have it all sink in the proper way. 
he clears his throat, shyly looking back at scar, but then his gaze anchors and softens. his hand travels up from scar's chin, brushing through his hair, tucking a strand behind his ears. "it's not wrong."
--
SCAR
“It’s not?” Scar asks meekly, even though he was the one to propose so first. To have Grian confirm it is so much more important. Because even if they can agree it’s not wrong for Scar to have sought out these things, ultimately he wants it to be right for Grian as well.
Scar chews at his lip nervously, but still tilts toward the offered affection, absolutely weak to it.
--
GRIAN
"mmm." grian lets his fingers brush through scar's hair again, gentle with him at every step. "it's not wrong," he repeats softly.
--
SCAR
Scar opens his eyes, both of them glistening with potential tears, but he offers up a weak, wobbly smile, appreciating every graze of Grian’s fingers. “…is it— it’s not wrong for you either?”
--
GRIAN
grian takes in scar's expression and he leans in for a short kiss. "it's not wrong for me," he murmurs, right over scar's lips. 
and maybe he still feels confused, and maybe he still has some exploring and figuring out to do, just to really settle things in his heart, but he knows scar will be there with him every step of the way. just like he knows that [REDACTED] is right—scar is good for him. 
and he wants all of him.
--
SCAR
The tears fall alongside a pitiful little chuckle, but Scar leans right back in for another kiss, not caring at all for the wetness that streaks down his cheeks. 
They can match now. It’s fine.
“I… I’m—?” Scar falters, and he laughs again, ducking his head down in slight embarrassment. He can’t even bring himself to say it. To even imply that he was worried that he was wrong for Grian. “…okay.”
--
GRIAN
the sight of tears breaks grian's heart. still keeping one arm around scar, hoping it'd make him feel close and secure, he lowers his other hand from scar's hair to his cheek, gently collecting the wetness even as scar leans in for a kiss. (one that grian gladly gives.) 
even though scar doesn't finish his question, grian can connect the dots. he remembers the time when he himself thought he's not good for scar, and he knows how awful and heavy that self doubt was.
with utmost tenderness, he kisses scar's cheek, right in the path of wetness, while his fingers gently brush the tears on the other side. "scar." it's quiet, reverent. irredeemably loving.
he pulls away, wanting scar to look at him as he says this. his wings twitch, brushing over scar's, curling inwards towards him. pressing against scar's sides under scar's wings as grian lets go of his back in favour of cupping his face, thumbs brushing over cheeks.
"scar, you're good for me."
he strings up the words, slow and deliberate and certain.
--
SCAR
It’s Scar’s turn to break again, clearly, as his eyes water over and big, wet tears fall down his cheeks and collect over Grian’s hands. He doesn’t even have words to respond with, just wide, grateful eyes and wobbly lips that can’t decide between a cry or a smile. 
His hands also find their way over Grian’s, though one escapes to run his own thumb over Grian’s cheek in turn, still feeling the dampness there. It’s oddly comforting.
“…sometimes I worry the hermits don’t think that,” he admits, gaze flicking away as he tries to keep a strong facade. (Hard to do while he’s actively crying, but it could certainly be worse.)
--
GRIAN
"oh, scar." grian sighs, heartbroken, brows pulling into a pained frown upon hearing that admission. he can hardly bear this, knowing scar's been made to feel like this.
he leans in to press a kiss to his forehead, wings slinking further along, wrapping around scar right underneath his vex wings. he wants to cocoon them into warmth and safety, away from these treacherous feelings.
the hermits managed to somehow break both of them down, with nothing more than good intentions.
grian hates the uncertain, askew feeling that pushes bitter bile up his throat, telling him maybe they're not quite right for this place anymore. that they forgot how to belong, but nobody has caught up yet and still expects them to be their selves that they can no longer reach.
“you know [REDACTED I AM SO SORRY]” he attempts a smile, though it's hard. he tugs at scar, wanting to pull him in for a hug, tuck him underneath his own chin, all safe and protected, but he leaves it up to scar whether he wants that or needs more breathing room right now. 
"maybe they need time. i... i've been hiding away a lot and. honestly i don't think they can tell what's good for me anymore. not right now." it's hard to admit. "even if they mean well." but well-meaning that hurts both him and scar is just meddlesome. 
maybe they needed this though, in a way. it would be better if it came from a different place, subtler, gentler, but still. maybe they needed to work through exactly these feelings.
"anyone who says you're not good for me will get smacked," he threatens, remembering scar's (and kane's) offers to bite people who look at grian wrong, in a way returning the favour. "'coz they're wrong and they have no business spewing nonsense."
--
SCAR
Scar gladly takes up the offer to be smothered in affection, and he boldly chooses to corporealize his wings fully and gently tug them around the base of Grian's, knowing well that wing-on-wing contact is almost always acceptable. And right now that sort of thing brings immense comfort to him, too. It's something they both share, after all. A pair of wings and a pair of patched up hearts.
"I know they mean well..." Scar whines into Grian's chest this time, and though there's no cozy shawl to bury himself in, it's just as comforting. "but they don't know everything, and... and I know that's mostly on us, but god it's just... it's so much sometimes, Grian." 
It's not exactly pleasant to recall those memories. To try to explain just how horrific it was to their old friends. To look them in the eyes and admit that they're different now because they had to be. (And how they still hope to be loved despite it all.)
--
GRIAN
grian wraps scar up in his arms, holding him close. one hand in scar's hair, the other sliding down between his shoulderblades, rubbing at that point between his wings, unaware he's copying exactly what [REDACTED] did earlier.
the pressure of scar's wings over his own helps him settle a little, gives him comfort and courage through this glass-shards of a conversation.
"they don't know everything," he echoes quietly, kissing the top of scar's head before he leans his cheek on it, cradling him. "i just wish..." he closes his eyes and tugs at scar, holds him a little bit tighter. he doesn't really know how to finish that sentence; all the words feel like they're crashing and splintering over sharp cliffs.
all that's left in the rubble is a weary sense of defeat. "it is so much," he agrees. "it's so tiring to... they expect us to be..." he doesn't finish any of his sentences, but he wonders if scar understands anyway.
--
SCAR
Scar understands perfectly. He nods softly as he listens, lulled in by those soft touches, tears drying as he lets Grian’s presence fully engulf him.
“…they expect us to be the same,” Scar finishes for him, certain that Grian’s had the same trouble he has, though perhaps to a different degree. “And… maybe we won’t ever be. But… I don’t think all the ways we changed are bad. Like— sure, we’re still messed up and jumpy and… and I mean, frankly traumatized, but…” There’s an effort to poke his head up, but Scar finds himself too reluctant to leave the comfort of Grian’s arms just yet. “We’re also in love. And… we have a new appreciation for life. And each other.” A half-sniffle, half-chuckle gets stuffed into Grian’s chest. “…is that too sappy?”
--
GRIAN
grian chuckles mirthlessly at the list of things they suck at, their reactions and trauma stitched close to them like their shadow, endless and monstrous, looming behind their every step. but scar is right: they have changed in so many messed up ways, and they might never be the same, but... it's not all bad. 
"we're in love," grian echoes, a notch lighter, just a little bit amused that the list of dark things ends with a complete shift, plunging them into sappiness. it's such a scar-like thing to do; he's aware of just how bad things have gotten, but that doesn't mean he won't fight to dredge up every little optimistic and hopeful thing out of it anyway.
grian loves it. it's gotten him through many dark times, this quality that scar has. his tenacious way of thinking and latching onto bright things, even if it's a barely flickering flame amidst complete, terrifying darkness.
he kisses his head again and then nuzzles against his hair, humming. "it's scar level sappy," he replies, mulling it, before landing on: "which means it's perfect." 
the only time scar's level of sappy is too much is when he's flustering grian, but he's not going to point that out, in case scar takes it as a challenge to compare the two right here and right now. (he'd be capable. grian knows.) 
he rubs at scar's back again, humming a soft melody, wanting to calm him further. but there's one thing even he can unearth from the ashes, something written into all their stitches and scars.
"we survived." 
nothing can beat that. no matter how they've changed, or what they can now see in a different light.
they made it.
"and we're good for each other."
--
SCAR
Scar giggles at the term. Scar-level sappy, indeed. His own brand of optimism, wrapped in layers of insecurity but boundless levels of adoration. 
And it got him this far, didn’t it?
“We survived,” Scar repeats, because that’s so damn important. They survived. And they did it because they were together.
Because they’re good together.
“…the power of love,” Scar adds, soft and sentimental and maybe just a bit goofy, hoping to turn the tides from tears to mirthful laughter.
--
GRIAN
once again he gets grian to giggle in a fragile moment—a talent scar has and grian values. in retaliation, he shifts his hands, brings them much closer, until he can tease at scar's ears. 
"we survived, so now i can do this!" his cheeks are still wet, and he feels depleted from all the heavy emotions, but he still manages a grin as he tries to make scar squirm.
--
SCAR
Scar barks out a fit of genuine laughter, somewhat startled by the shift, but he can’t complain when his lips are suddenly tipped into a bright smile and his ears are flicking wildly at the affectionate abuse. 
“Hey!! No fair! I’ve been so gentle!!” he cackles, already shedding that mercy and tickling at Grian’s ribs.
---------------
aaand i'm going to end on this note (because you know it devolves again. we're good at making things fall apart repeatedly <3 a great angst loop if you ask me.)
but, i'm going to leave you with a little bonus. which is what me and link talked about today. on this same topic, really.
which is how scar changed. hermits know him as the guy who dies a lot, right? also easily distracted, carefree, easily dissipating into giggles, easily brushing things off. all of that.
he could get startled by a fly. he'd yelp and stumble and fall over when he got scared.
but that other world forced other things on him. it forced him to be brave, or at least, to seem like it. forced him to fight to keep himself and grian safe. fight for them both to survive.
now when he gets scared? there are wings and claws and fangs.
he couldn't show weakness in that world, you know?
and it sticks. it sinks its talons into him and holds.
the only person he shows weakness around is grian. and... maybe if he'd been willing to show it more around the other hermits, they'd see that he's still scar.
that he's still scar and he's hurting and afraid.
(yes blame link for this heartbreak brb sobbing with u)
also. a potential conversation:
someone saying to grian (while scar is also possibly there): "scar came back... wrong."
grian angrily counters with "no, scar came back different but not wrong."
and then
quieter
"... i came back wrong."
because, think about it. scar changed, but it can be argued that some of it is better and he's just being misunderstood. but grian? grian can't imagine any good coming from how he's now.
he didn't grow braver or kinder or stronger or any of those things. he just caused [REDACTED]. he's a scared, hurting mess. there's nothing good about him now.
as link said in our discord dms: scar needs to scoop grian up and remind him that he's here for the whole ride. he'll be here while grian learns to heal.
because he will heal.
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carlestin · 1 year ago
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techno may not look happy but hes stoked to be there
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 days ago
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Meet the Family 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.
Characters: Lloyd Hansen
Note: um I woke up to this in my head. Sorry.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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You honk your horn as another driver slowly veers toward the line. You’re not letting them in. If they can’t weave in, then they aren’t fast enough to leave the slow lane. You sigh and gesture at them as kindly as you can in that instant. You have enough going on. 
Your phone starts to ring. Again. You tap the button on your steering wheel to answer. You would know who it is even without his custom ringtone. Your boss allows no space for breathing, even on a call. 
“How far out are you, pixie?” Lloyd asks as you growl and lean on the gas pedal. You hate driving on the highway, especially at night, and the sky is steadily dimming. 
“Close,” you assure him. “Next exit,” you flip your blinker on. 
“Thank god. You got everything?” 
Yeah, everything you forgot. You don’t give the dry retort aloud. You know better. Where your boss has no filter to be found, you find yourself often censoring yourself. As much for his ego as for others’. Arguing never gets you anywhere. 
“I believe so--” 
“You believe or you do?” He asks impatiently. 
“Mr. Hansen, I got everything on the list,” you assure him. “All with a bow on top.” 
“A life saver, pix, I swear,” he praises, but a compliment from him is rarely genuine, more transactional. You did him a favour so he’ll give you a treat. 
“Alright, I need to get over, ramp’s coming up. So--” 
“Yeah, yeah,” his ends rustles and you hear a muffled female voice, “I got shit going on too. You got the address, text me.” 
He hangs up first. You can never be the first to end the call. He has to make the decisions. You just know how to guide him to the right one. You merge into the exit lane and follow the ramp away from the whirring stream of headlight. Finally. 
You’re less than pleased to be within minutes of your destination. This isn’t how you envisioned your holiday. A last-minute itinerary change to fix yet another of Mr. Hansen’s oversights. It’s never a mistake, he’s just a man with so much going on that it slipped his radar. Another bandage for his ego. 
The slower pace feeds your agitation. At least on the highway, you felt like you were getting somewhere. The lazy roll of the cars in the town tweaks at the nape of your neck. You just want to be in one place and that won’t happen even when you get to Mr. Hansen. 
You’ll be lucky to have two hours of sleep before you have to catch your rebooked flight. Yep. You’ll play Santa and drop off your lot before hiding at the hotel long enough to dread the airport jungle. Then it’s off to your own familial obligations. Those are rarely enjoyable and being a day later than promised will hardly please your mother. 
Your phone announces your arrival at the destination. The long drive of the over-sized suburban mansion is full. You park on the street and turn on the interior light. You get out and open the back seat. The whole medley of shiny paper and quaffed bows stares back at you. 
You text Mr. Hansen and wait, huffing and puffing with impatience. Of course, you have to upheave your plans to meet his deadlines, but he’s taking his time. It’s not a surprise, not even a disappointment, you expected as much. 
“Pixieee,” Lloyd drags out the last syllable, “there you are, pretty pixie.” 
Pretty Pixie? He’s drunk or he’s going to ask for something else. You brace yourself as his shadow struts up the long driveway and passes beneath the cone cast by the tall street lights. Coloured lights glimmer over him from the eaves of the surrounding facades. 
“Mr. Hansen, wrapped, labelled, everything you requested,” you gesture to the backseat. 
“An angel. A true saviour, pixie,” he surprises you as he grabs your head, his palms pressing to your cheeks as he bends to kiss your forehead, “did I ever tell you you’re immaculate?” 
“Mr. Hansen,” you gently pull his wrists until he drops his hands. You smell the alcohol radiating off of him. 
“It’s the holiday, call me Lloyd, sweet cake,” he insists. 
“Right,” you tut and turn to drag out the largest gift bag, “here, you better just take all this, I have to check-in--” 
“About that,” he ignores the gift as you hold it out. “We’re just about to start dinner, you should pop in, have a bite.” 
“I can’t, Mr. Hansen--” 
“Of course you can,” he insists. You look up at him. His eyes gleam in the spectrum of lights shining from your car, the houses, and the tall poles. You sniff. He’s only tipsy, there’s still the hint of authoritarianism firmly implanted in his tone. “I told everyone you would.” 
“Everyone?” You echo anxiously. 
“The family,” he exclaims as if it should be obvious. 
“Okay, I can come say hello but--” you wiggle the bag at him. 
“Damn right you can,” he catches your hand and takes the bag. He drops it on the ground carelessly. 
“Mr. Hansen, that’s fragile,” you say. 
“Shhhh,” he grabs your hand and you curl and unfurl your fingers desperately, “Lloyd, remember?” He feels around in his pocket as he keeps you in his vice, “now, you just need to slip this on.” 
He struggles to line up the ring with your finger as you squirm in confusion. What is he doing? 
“Mr. Han--” 
“Lloyd,” he growls, all humour trickling away. He squeezes until you whimper. “Look, I just need you to smile and bat those long lashes of yours, alright?” 
“What’s going on?” 
“As far as anyone knows, I proposed to you on Thanksgiving,” he says. 
“Proposed?!” You nearly shriek. 
He hushes you again and finally rams the ring down to your knuckle. “Look, pixie, mommy’s being a real pain in my ass so you just need to play along.” 
“Mr.--” 
“If I have to tell you one more time--” 
“Lloyd,” you gulp, “please. I... this is... strange. What? Why? I have a flight in eight hours.” 
“Cancel it,” he sneers. “Double time and a half for holiday overtime. See the family in the New Year.” 
“What? That’s-- This is insane--” 
“This is your job, honey,” he clings to your hand. “To do what I say or you can spend your January trawling the job boards.” He squeezes until the band digs into your flesh. “Now, I know Mr. Walker thinks you’re darling and he offered you a role last year but once I tell him about your little defiance issue, I don’t think he’ll be interested--” 
“Huh?” 
“I know a lot more than you think,” he grits. “Alright? So let’s start getting this shit inside. That’ll give you a chance to get yourself together.” 
“Lloyd,” you gasp. “Why--” 
“No more fucking question. Since when did you get so uppity,” he barks. 
“Sir--” 
“Ah, none of that, either,” he lets you go and waggles his finger in your face. “Relax. Have some eggnog when we get inside and take the edge off.” 
“This can’t be happening,” you murmur. 
“It’s fucking happening, alright?” He picks up the bag off the ground. “I keep you around ‘cause you’re quick on your feet, Pix, so let’s get to it.” 
“Oh god,” you utter. 
“Keep it to yourself,” he warns. 
Your disbelief has you a bit dumb. You’re panicking. He knows you have an insurance policy with Walker and you have no doubt he’ll do all he can to spoil your future if you fuck around with his present. You’ve worked long enough for him to believe his threats, even when everything else is dubious. 
You turn and grab several gifts from the backseat. You move out of his way and he gathers some more himself. He backs up and uses his knee to close the door. He nods you toward the house. 
“Smile, act like you’re excited,” he commands. 
You pass him and stare up at the blaze of holiday lights. The lawn is decorated with a Santa and sleigh, complete with all his reindeer. You make the march up the walk and towards the glowing windows that trim the front door.  
Lloyd comes up next to you and kicks it, “open up.” 
It isn’t long before obedience appears from the other side. You do a double take at the man who answers the door. He looks a lot like Lloyd but not. He doesn’t sport the same bristly stache and his hair neatly combed, the sides unshaved but tidy. He rolls his eyes. 
“Was hoping you got lost in the snow,” the man scoffs. 
“Shut up,” Lloyd shoulders through, “always a fucking prick, Hugh.” 
The other man snarls, “don’t fucking call me that.” 
“Aw, I’m sorry, baby boy,” Lloyd puts the gifts on the bench against the wall, under the large mirror with an elaborate frame. “Why don’t you go suck on mommy’s teat?” 
“You’re disgusting,” the other man, Hugh, hisses. 
“Speak for yourself. We’re the OnlyFans thot? She not joining us?” 
“Oh, fuck you.” 
“Fuck you, fuck me, we already did this, remember?” Lloyd faces him. 
“And who’s this slut?” The man tosses you a sharp glare.  
“Woah, man, that’s my future wife,” Lloyd lies so easily it startles you. He sounds almost genuine and you’ve never heard him sound like that. “Not a slut, so keep your eyes and your hands to yourself.” 
“Huh, I didn’t believe it,” the man puts his hand on his hip as he looks you up and down, “she’s tiny.” 
You narrow your eyes, speechless as they talk about you like a new lamp. 
“Ransom,” Lloyd gestures to him derisively, “Pixie. Now you’ve met so you can skedaddle back to the liquor cabinet.” 
The man, Ransom, snickers, “good luck, sweetheart,” he scoffs. “If you need a drink, just look for me. You probably will. At least for the next forty years.” 
He struts off through the archway behind him and you look at Lloyd. He takes the armful of gifts from you and grumbles. He stops and crosses his arms.  
“Well, get your boots off. Mom will kill you if you’re tracking salt all over her freshly polished floors,” he shakes his head. “And a bit of advice, stay away from my cousin. Ransom’s a fucking pest.” 
“Right, sir.” 
He tilts his head and you show your palms, “Lloyd.” 
“Good girl,” he says and slips free of his loafers. “Now, you’re going to have to meet my parents before anyone else or I won’t hear the end of it. I’ve already got an earful. I know I shoulda booked that resort...” 
You unzip your boots and set them aside on the rack. You stand and he beckons you past the open archway and down the hallway. You take in the decor; gold on beige on ivory. It’s all very luxurious. 
He pushes through a white birch door and warmth enshrines you along with the smell of turkey. There’s a clattering beneath a shrill voice snapping out orders, “oh, not mashed, whipped!” 
A tall blonde woman crosses her arms as she hovers like a vulture over the aproned staff crowded around the large marble island. Lloyd grabs your hand and drags you after him. Your socks slip on the tile as dread coils up your limbs. 
“Mom, she’s here,” he announces as he gets close to her. 
“Ugh, about time, they already set the table and I was dreading the empty plate,” she slithers. She turns her chin down to see you, “Oh, look at her. She’s so... petite.” She levels her hand with the top of your head, “much different than I envisioned.” 
You look at Lloyd as he pushes his shoulders back. You’ve never heard anyone talk to him like that and you’ve never seen him so uptight. You turn your attention back to the woman. 
“Hello, Mrs. Hansen, it’s nice to meet you,” you offer your hand. 
She considers it then grabs it, turning the ring up. You examine the jewel as she does the same, your first glimpse at the thing. She harrumphs, “that’s the ring?” 
“Mom,” Lloyd utters. 
“Mm, very well. Dear, you may call me Gwenyth, not Mrs. Hansen,” she lets you go. “Now, dear son, out of my way. I’m trying to get dinner done.” 
Lloyd stares at her, almost expectantly, the takes your hand again and leads you away. He pulls you back through the door. You don’t dare say a word. He leads you away from the kitchen and the wall of voices buzzing from the front room. He guides you through the archway opposite and around to another door. 
He knocks and there’s a lull as you wait. He taps again. There’s coughing from the other side. “What do you want?” 
“Just me, Dad,” Lloyd answers. 
“Ugh, get in here then,” the timbre calls back. 
Lloyd twists the knob and urges you in ahead of him. The smell of cigar smoke blows in with the cold wind. A gray-haired man puffs by the window, his efforts to puff through the opening sabotaged by the wintry gusts. 
“Close the door. I don’t need the banshee sniffing me out,” he growls. 
“Sure,” Lloyd shuts the door. “Dad, uh, this is her. The woman I told you about. My fiance.” 
“Took you long enough,” the man sneers. You flinch and his grey eyes soften, “him, I mean. Forty-three years--” 
“Dad,” Lloyd rasps. 
“Well,” his father looks you over, “she’s young. Bit small...” 
You do your best not to let your annoyance show. So you’re a little shorter than average. 
“William,” he introduces himself, “and you are?” 
“Pixie,” Lloyd answers for you. 
“Didn’t ask you, boy,” William rebukes and keeps his eyes on you. “You smoke?” 
You mull his question and sigh, “never tried it but I guess it’s never too late to start.” 
William snorts, “truer words.” He puffs, “I don’t recommend it. Horrible habit.” He tamps out the stogie in a copper tray. “Well then, is the food ready, or did you just come to show me your woman?” 
Lloyd stiffens and touches your lower back, “guess I just came to do that.” He mutters, “come on, let’s go get something to drink.” He turns and opens the door. 
“Don’t let the smoke out,” William snips as you spin around. 
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ducktracy · 1 year ago
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yet another reprise of the same post i’ve made dozens and dozens of times before but GEEZ! i am so incredibly lucky to be doing what i’m doing! to think i spend hours and hours and days and weeks and months and years and hopefully DECADES pouring over animation history, lauding the masters and studying their work so intently and absorbing it and feeling and identifying with it, and the fact that i get to walk the same turf they did. that i get to be a part of this business that they established. that i get to carry the torch and that, some day, no matter how small or insignificant, my own work and contributions will be regarded as “animation history” because i work in animation and all history is history. i just can’t believe that i’m privileged enough to indulge in some of the same practices that The Greats did, that i get to study their work and, if i’m so lucky, channel and make homages to it where possible.
this isn’t to say “i’m just like Tex Avery because i work in animation TOO!!!!”, but, rather, an expression of my sheer GRATITUDE and amazement that i get to do what i do at all. i’ve met so many nice people. blossomed so much as an artist and cartoonist. get inspired each day by the talent i am constantly surrounded by. and to think that i get to be a part of it!!!!! that i get to carry the torch! i know this sounds so conceited and pompous and i really don’t mean it that way at all because i don’t WANT to be known as someone who people are only interested in because i work in cartoons. i just wanna be known for me! what “me” is i guess is for you to decide! but, regardless, i’m just feeling extra thankful tonight that i’m able to indulge in my passions and SPREAD my passions and have said passions fostered. that i’m lucky enough to tread the same ground as some of the greatest creatives that gave me this ground to tread on. there will never be enough words to properly articulate just how deeply and passionately my gratitude extends.
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waywardmillennial · 7 months ago
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Can you genuinely share your block list? I just can't deal with going in the tags.
If I can figure out a way to do so - I will. I've only just started putting one together. Maybe a link to a gdoc would be good to share? With people individually?
I cannot remember if private tumblr posts are shareable/viewable if posted as private.
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lee-of-games · 2 years ago
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So. Was in a server and talking about headcanon stuff, fic ideas, AUs, etc etc
And while discussing an AU with @pyarini , the idea of using Heba as a name for a reincarnation came up, to which I made some comment about how cute it would be for Atem to recognize it’s Yuugi, because they both mean game. To which she pointed out that it didn’t, and that Heba actually means “gift.”
Which made me think two things:
One: I seem to have been completely misled by the fandom to believe Heba meant game. (To be fair I had tried to look it up before, but could never find a concrete meaning, and figured I just missed something since everyone else was saying it did.)
And two: Oh…Why do we use that name in the first place?
I did some light digging and it seems there is nothing showing Heba means game, and within fandom, there’s nothing concrete showing where it originated from, though highly suspected to be a name someone liked and used in an RP for an Egyptian Yugi counterpart, which just got spread and used by the fandom. (The ONLY info I could find for it’s origins was Fandom Wiki, so if anyone knows any different please let me know!)
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So here’s my thought process now: If it was randomly chosen by someone cuz they liked the name, I think I’ll just pick my own name for “Heba” and use that instead!
This was developed by Kanmani by saying “Maybe it should be Senet” To which I had the idea of using the name Sen, short for Senet.
Now, I know this seems silly as a name, but I think it’s fitting seeing how Yuugi literally just means “Game” in Japanese, and his Grandfather is named Sugoroku, after a form of Japanese Board Games. As a counterpart, to reflect it’s a version of Yugi just in a different time/place, I think it works well! (Plus Sen is a name already, with a few meanings, one of which is a thousand in Japanese, if people wanted to use it for a modern reincarnation as well!)
I’m not a newbie, but comparing my two years here to how long this fandom has been around, I know it would be silly to ask to completely change the name around or anything like that. I don’t wanna make it seem like I’m saying you shouldn’t or can’t use the name anymore! It’s a cute name, and I understand it’s got history in the fandom! I mainly wanna use this as my own nickname for a counterpart and explain where I got it from.
Buuuuut…I do invite anyone who likes the name idea to use it in your projects: whether it’s labeling art, comics, fics, etc!
I would love to see people joining in calling an AE Yuugi counterpart Senet/ Sen, and I know I’ll be using it myself for my projects :] ✨ It’s already been cemented in my mind, even if it doesn’t catch on haha.
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crossbackpoke-check · 8 days ago
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i saw the d3 acha coho tiktok and saw your tag about how to spell s(h)(e)(a)(w)n and as I watched it with the roster pulled up next to the video so I could figure things out I HAD to come tell you that it was spelled 'shjon' because LOL. but then I saw your other post and saw that you not only already figured it out but you had a DIFFERENT tag about the 8-3 game last night. i know what game you're talking about; i listened on the radio. i've been sad ever since and it would make me feel better to tell you that you're not special - everyone takes advantage of our terrible powerplay and yet we REFUSE to stop drop passing. sorry you definitely didn't expect a salty shiny helmet fan in your inbox just please be gentle with us tonight. Christmas isn't for another month - stop lighting up our goalie :( although huge congrats on winning the tournament last year i was cheering for you so hard to defeat the Evil and you did :)
​feeling shrimp emotions right now as i try to convey the whiplash this ask gave me… first of all 🥺🥰😭 that you were gonna come tell me how to spell shjon and then 🫵 SAME GAME???
but GOD the experience of “listen i know—shhhhh shhh shhh shhh i haven’t even started yet—i KNOW it looks cool when you do a no-look behind the back pass. it does! when it works. you know what we look like when it doesn’t work? fuckin’ STUPID!!!!” is universal. me 🤝 you 🤝 yelling at our hockey team to stop doing stupid drop passes!!!!
(p.s. wish: granted! most of it was the fact that your baby goalie did better than [redactedx2] and that’s all the shop i will talk here for purposes of not doxxing either of us lmaooo)
#RIP ANON I’M SO SORRY YOU WERE CATCHING STRAYS IN MY D3 HOCKEY TAGS 😭😭😭😭#my vendetta against [redacted] has literally nothing to do with your hockey team too it’s from a completely different sport 😭#does it help to know that a and i regularly debate your uniforms and i AM a shiny helmet defender i think they’re so fun#i just wish it was more incorporated!! put a little shiny in the uniforms!!! you don’t need that [redacted on the pants] to be THAT color#make it match the helmets!!!!! anyway this happens literally every time. i go BUT I LIKE THE PIZAZZZZ & a goes BUT THE SHINE I CAN’T SEEEEE#& then we both agree (bc i said so) that the color scheme needs work. i understand the reference it’s the execution!!#anyway i put a variety of devon levi mouth open HUNH meme / BEYONCÉ??? /🍹😎 reaction images to try and convey how your ask found me#but none of them fit right lmao the sheer ???!!!!????? specificity of getting clocked#but also like. then immediately being like ok we’re best friends united by a common enemy 🤝🥰🥰 making out w/consent w/tongue#liv in the replies#have not been able to truly rotate the joy you having the roster pulled up to tell me how shjon is spelled is bringing me im giggling#kicking my feet doing a little spin etc etc. i love y’all and the amount to which i just. ask things in my tags & y’all ANSWER me is 😭😭🥹🥹💕#also if you listened on the radio again i don’t know if you saw the handshake line shenanigans but PLEASE come to my dms i Have Questions#about to go put [redacted] and [redacted] together in alice’s teammates generator and i found an old note too??? about different guys???#and homoerotic behaviors. whatever is in the water with this match-up it’s chippy and also makes me 👀#i think a blood feud may be beginning… cannot wait for the next match-up it’s gonna be fun
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medicinemane · 18 days ago
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Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy
You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing
I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know
Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards
...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said
Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes
#to be clear; I don't mind people disagreeing with me (though that's not what's happened here... I don't think I came into it at all)#but all I need in order to be able to work with disagreement is just... knowing you at least heard and understood me#like if it's 'I get that you think that vanilla is a good flavor of icecream; but I really prefer chocolate'... ok; this works for me#it's that... a lot of the time it honest feels more like 'what are you talking about? vanilla isn't a flavor' where... huh?#let's take a real example; not everyone needs to agree with me on nuclear#but like... someone saying 'I get that it's way safer these days; but I still worry about waste storage'... well ok then#but if it's just like 'but it's dangerous and will explode' even after I've explained about the designs now#where there's a salt plug that with melt and drain before anything can happen; and these materials don't like to run away#...and it's not like they're asking me to back up the source; it's like I never said anything at all...#what am I supposed to do here? you feel me on that? do you start to get why I feel like I'm going crazy when that's how it often feels?#no one is obliged to agree with me but... literally just active listening would fix this... say you heard me and we're good#acknowledge that I voiced something and it's been noted#honestly... honestly my who life it's felt like I must somehow actually be invisible#...to an extent maybe I'm a figment of my own imagination; I might well be a ghost that's lonely and makes you all up#...for all the impact my actions have#or maybe literally everything I say just comes out garbled... is that it?#this post is about something very specific; but it's also about something that happens a lot with a lot of different people#on a broader scale; why is it no one else seems to be able to connect the dots#and these aren't like... conspiracy theory dots; these are like russia buys drones from Iran; therefore russia and Iran are partners#that's the kind of dots I'm talking about connecting; please tell me that's not a conspiracy theory to you... it seems plain to me#I don't know... I really don't... I don't think much I say will ever have any impact anywhere on anyone#...honestly a good 90% of the time people don't even respond to what I say#not like my posts here; I mean direct in dms or whatever; I'll say stuff and it's just silence or a new subject#again; across multiple people; it's common... it's... I think it happens more often than it doesn't#I can instantly name 4 conversations with 4 different people that's happened with lately#and that's not counting the 3 where I know the reason why it's happened#I really am something unfit to live; the evidence is endless#mm tag so i can find things later
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sivunas · 4 months ago
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starter call ... any verse ... if you have a preference, please lmk! multis please specify a muse!
i specialize in canon / main, modern, and odyssey since those are the ones i've spent the most time thinking about.
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hotelbitches-a · 11 months ago
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velvette ✔: GET PLEASURE FROM EVERY V! NOW ANNOUNCING: GET YOUR HIGH FROM A SOURCE YOU KNOW!
i'm VERY happy to announce that as of now, i am in charge of the drug production in the pride ring! i'm working on a new pill that'll rock your shit! just need a name... suggest one in the comments! one lucky person may have a pill named after their choice!
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