#please someone send me some coffee or 8 hours of sleep

[samtheplatypus]

Nono, it's the coffee

[millie-multifics]

Though I Yearn • Part 8

Masters of the Air x Reader

Secret Admirer (Revealed)

A string of anonymous letters causes a stir at Thorpe Abbotts. Who could be the author of the tender correspondence you have been recieving?

Warnings: Spoilers for the admirers identity if you have yet to read Part 7, mentions of death, implied nudity, and it’s a little cheesy.

Word Count: ~1.3k

Masterlist Previous Final Part- Coming soon!

Sorry for the long af wait but just got my cast off from breaking my dominant hand soo it’s been a rough go. I appreciate everyone’s support with this series 🩵💙

x x x

Everyone at Thorpe Abbotts had grown increasingly weary throughout the winter months, losing more men each mission while trying to recover from the great losses of autumn.

It seemed with each mission you rose earlier and earlier, eventually you ceased finding any sleep after that dreaded red light flashed for the men.

“Good morning, gentlemen.” You greeted Douglass and Blakely with a smile, two cups of steaming black coffee already prepared. It had become a ritual for a few of the men to skip breakfast with the replacements, settling for one of your hot cups of coffee and chain smoking cigarettes to ease their unsettled stomachs.

Everett could see the exhaustion in your eyes, the burden of serving these men with a smile, knowing a fraction will not return was taking its toll.

“Sleep at all?” He asked, his worry palpible by the way his eyebrows creased in the centre.

“Your feet being on solid ground allows me to breathe but sleep evades me.” You admit, reaching to smooth the front lock of his hair that frequently escapes his attempted neat styling.

“Does that mean I don’t qualify for a kiss from my guardian angel this morning?”

Douglass groaned, smothering his cigarette butt into the dirt with his heavy, polished boot. “Sometimes I miss when she would only talk to you because she was ignoring my ass.”

“He’s a little on edge right now, our little James is attempting commitment.” Everett explained, sending the bombadier an amused glare. “On the topic of commitment, the hut will be clear for a few hours tonight for Rosie’s 25th mission festivities. Maybe we can catch up on some sleep.”

“Yeah, sleep, I’m sure that is what will be happening in there.” Douglass rolled his eyes at your lovesick, teenage antics.

“Speaking of Rosie, where is the lucky bastard?” You asked, he usually cut out of breakfast early to clear his head of all the nervous replacements chatter.

“Luck has nothing to do with it, he is a damn good pilot.” Blakely mused, “If I didn’t fly so damn good myself, I’d want to be in his fort.”

“Speak of the devil… coffee?” You offered as the mustached pilot appeared under the rolling, grey clouds.

“Please.”

You raised your own coffee to toast, “All the best today boys, and Rosie? Give ‘em hell.”

“This it the worst part, the waiting.” Helen broke the silence in the clubmobile. You were sitting in the chairs provided, awaiting the arrival of the men before you would make your way to what had become the Interigation centre to welcome the men back, help them feel comfortable and recognize they were back on solid ground. “Do you think Rosie will make it? It feels like it has been ages since a crew has done it.”

You glanced over the spine of the book in your hands, it had been open for about an hour now but if Helen had noticed you had yet to turn the page she did not mention it. “Rosie is a great pilot, I wouldn’t start doubting his abilities now.”

You flipped your page for show, eyes drifting over the page but not reading the black ink.

“Do you truely love Everett?”

“I do.” You did not need to think as the words slipped past your lips.

“How does it feel to love someone like that?”

You shut the book, placing it on your lap as you pictured your handsome pilot in your minds eye, “It’s like having a perfect, hot cup of tea on a cold day, its a warmth that envelopes your mind, body and soul. I feel all of his emotions tenfold, when he is happy I am blessed, when he is mad I am enraged and when he struggles with sadnesss I feel his grief. I yearn for his presence when he is away and revel in it when he is near, I no longer dream of going home because Everett has become my home.”

Helen looked thoughtful for a moment, “I think I could have felt it once but I only had one marvelous evening with him, Lieutenant Nash, but he was killed on his first mission.” She confessed for the first time since it had happened. “I just hope that one day I might feel that way fully, for longer than a day.”

“And Lieutenant Nash was Rosie’s friend so you’re wandering what might have happened had he made it back that day.”

Helen nodded, solemly, opting to change the subject from the handsome young man that had swept her off her feet quite unexpectedly. “I heard some of the Red Cross Ladies may be relocated when Europe is invaded, spread the resources and morale to the men at the front.”

“Let’s not worry about that right now.”

Warmth radiated from the two wool blankets drapped over your entangled bodies, it was a stark contrast from the rain pouring down outside. You felt at peace, the harsh drops pounding on the roof above and the sounds of your calm breathing filled the silence. Everett groaned as he pulled himself to a sitting postion, reaching to the bedside table for his carton of cigarettes. You shifted lazily to rest your head on his chest, pulling the blanket with you to shield his bare torso from the chill that hung in the March air.

“There have been whispers.” You spoke quietly, afriad to break the serenity.

“About us?” Everett leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

You smiled, “Those whispers never stop, every time we get a new wave of replacements they love to chatter- I think Kidd will lose his head if he has to talk to us one more time about discretion.”

“What’d you hear?”

“Helen heard that some of the girls will be allocated after the invasion of Europe,” The details were unknown but it hung over the continent like an impending storm. “That could mean-“ You paused, your fingers ghosted over the chain around his neck, tracing his name etched into the cold metal. “I used to be prepared for this, when I first volenteered I had steeled myself over, I was ready to tredge through trees, mud and blood but we were placed here. Thorpe Abbotts may have its share of mud after the rain but it has been hot cups of coffee, laughter over a drink, dancing through our pain and… you. I sincerely don’t know what I would do without you by my side.”

Blakely remained silent for a moment, contemplating your worries and soft confession as he discarded his unlit cigarette and matches onto the trunk beside his small bed. “There is no shame to be scared in this world.”

“Says the brave pilot who has looked death in the eye countless times and denied its knock.”

“Would it make you think any less of me if I were to admit that I get scared? Every time that red light turns on, everytime I climbed into that Pilot seat and everytime I look at you.” He confessed, voice soft as his warm breath brushed your throat. “We should get married. Tomorrow.”

“You jest.” You met his eyes, they were wide with vulnerabilty and an unexpected sincerity.

“I am serious.” He insisted, gently manuvering your body to be seated facing him. The rough pads of his fingers caressing the soft skin of your cheeks as he pressed on, “I want to marry you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how long that may be.”

“Everett-“

“It does not have to be tomorrow. I can accept if you want to marry tomorrow or wait however many years, just please say yes to being my betrothed.”

Emotion overwhelmed you as you nodded your head feverantly, tears slipping down your cheeks only to be wiped away ever so softly by his thumbs. “Yes, yes, I will marry you, Everett Blakely.”

x x x

@jointherebellion215 @yorkshirekiwi @gretagerwigsmuse @seoultraveller @orchiidflwer @lucyfromtheoldhouse @kpopdistoyedmylife-blog @probabydeadbynow @claireelizabeth85 @solo-pitstop-vibes @timetowastetime8 @thebenjiblackwoodexpress @beingalive1 @bunnylil-reblogs @p-polaroid @ktredshoes @winniemaywebber @ginabaker1666

[the-unacknowledged-ones]

Be nosy all the even numbers!

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

🌕: yes, inside a coffin

4: Do you have siblings?

🌕: yes, my younger brother, Sun.

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

🌕: no idea

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

,I🌕:Mmm don't know, my dad will be pissed off though

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

🌕: mm probably

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

🌕: time flies fast, I don't know

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

🌕: a bathrobe

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

🌕: having a snack

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

🌕: I don't like telling lies. Not even to myself

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

🌕: bite certain person's neck

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

🌕: 4hs

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

🌕: someone tried to manhandle me... That bruise cost them much

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

🌕: cut the call and send a text. I don't like speaking on the phone much or will make it a videocall and just walk around in with my phone

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

🌕: my brother, he has to stop living in his fantasy

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

🌕: strawberry marmalade.

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

🌕: showering

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

🌕: I cursed the own that made my coffee as it was burned.

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

🌕: checking the pictures of the one that sent me this

38: Are you a happy person?

🌕: if things are fun, yes.

40: Where do you want to live when you're older?

🌕: I don't know but sad hasany places I can choose from.

42: What did you do yesterday?

🌕: work

44: How late did you stay up last night?

🌕: very late

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

🌕: not really

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

🌕: only if they raise from the dead, some people are masochist.

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

🌕: no, I know he is

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

🌕: oh if they even try I will teach them a lesson, I promise they won't cheta again.

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

🌕: how much are you betting?

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

🌕: stomach or side

58: What would you change about your life right now?

🌕: nothing

60: Are you on the phone?

🌕: yes, trying to call the one that sent me this

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

🌕: I have both, any other options?

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

🌕: not that I remember

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

🌕: at home

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

🌕: watching series, yes

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

🌕: I am older than that nad I have no child that I know

72: What’s your favorite color?

🌕: black

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

🌕: my phone

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

🌕: please do tell. I will.not wish to read your mind to find out

78: Does anyone call you babe?

🌕: nope

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

🌕: I prefer a bookcase

82: Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

🌕: MMM not so far

[joonsytip]

Anonymously Yours || Joshua Hong [Teaser]

Pairings: Joshua x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Crack, Humour (Broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au.

Synopsis: After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life.

Notable Mention: You both hate each other's guts...

A/N: We are having best friend Mingyu and King Jeonghan in the house.

Banner credits to my baby @wannabeyourshua <3

Inspired By: Mexican Flick - Anonymous yours.

Dropping on : 11th March, 2023. 10 AM IST

A/N: To be added to the taglist please send an ask or comment under this announcement post or under the SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist post.

Please heart, comment and reblog if it piques your interest, would really help to keep me going <3

Main story out now, checkout here

[SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist] [SVT Masterlist]

Teaser under the cut.

Unknown Number:

[3:05 AM] Hey!

It was great meeting you!

Maybe we should meet again sometime soon :)

What do you think?

You:

[3:09 AM] It's 3am for god's sake???

You got the wrong number!

Unknown Number:

[3:10 AM] Haha, not funny! It's me.

You gave me your number at the party :(

You:

[3:12 AM] They obviously gave you the wrong number.

Now stop right there & let me sleep!!!

The blaring sound of the alarm is hurting your ears and adding to your headache.

"Ugh, I can't even sleep without getting interrupted.", you groan but manage to lift your body to do two trivial things. One, stopping that goddamn alarm. Two, checking your phone.

8 AM. The time glares back at you.

You have a class at 9, well assignment submission to be more precise and you're still in your bed, half awake.

Next half an hour goes in a blur as you gobble down your breakfast and smoothie that your mother makes daily, it's almost like a tradition and good part is that you don't hate it. The only bad part is that the same conversation that follows everyday of them insisting you to join the family business and you dismissing them because you have a passion that you want to turn into profession.

Currently you're waiting for your best friend, Hyeri, who's never not late to pick you up.

As soon as you cross the threshold of the school, Hyeri is hijacked by Jeonghan, her tennis partner and Hyejoo, her sister situates herself with basketball teammates when she spots themselves.

And you're left alone.

And you're used to it.

The final bells rings indicating that you should be now sprinting to the class to avoid the grudges of your literature teacher.

You are with your full concentration tangling the wires of your earphones around the phone while climbing up the stairs when you suddenly bump hard into someone.

Your whips up to see the other person, glaring at you having his shirt stained in coffee which he was supposed to drink.

"Sorry, very sorry", you take out your handkerchief and just as you try to dap on the shirt, that person backs away.

"Please give me your number, I'll pay for the drycleaning.", you say politely.

"No need, I can pay for myself", that person grumbles, "Do me favour and from next time keep your eyes open while walking."

He says and walks away leaving you speechless and infuriated.

"What an idiot, I was trying to be nice.", you mutter before sprinting to the class.

Joshua is already having a bad day so when the only thing he was looking forward to, iced latte from his favourite café got spilled on his shirt because of some girl who can't walk straight, he is vexed.

Fortunately, he doesn't have classes within next hour so he goes straight to basketball ground. He has been enrolled into this high school recently so he has no friends, neither he intends to make any.

He fishes out his phone and taps on a contact who's name he doesn't know and proceeds to send a text.

Joshua:

[9:35 AM] Hey, sorry for waking you up last night.

Stranger:

[9:36 AM] No worries, I fell asleep right back.

Joshua:

[9:36 AM] A heavy sleeper it seems lol.

Stranger:

[9:37 AM] You can say that. And whoever did this to you is so mean, they could have told you no instead of doing this.

Joshua:

[9:37 AM] Ikr. I was at this party last night when my best friend insisted me to ask her number coz according to him I was checking her out.

Stranger:

[9:40 AM] Didn't work out for you :(

Taglist: @wannabeyourshua @hoeforhao @kimmych @chocolatekdramakpopfreak @starlight-night0 @alyssng @imsjane @i-dont-give-a-fok @gaebestie @meowmeowminnie @hanniehaeism

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter 8

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn't know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

july 23, 2018 los angeles, california orion

Just over a week before the band leaves for tour, Calum and I wake up at an early hour again due to a phone ringing, except this time, it’s his phone. He’s a lighter sleeper than I am, so when it starts to ring, he turns on the lamp on his nightstand and picks it up.

Unlike me, he does put his phone on Do Not Disturb, but he has notifications from certain people come through at any time. The list is me (obviously), his parents, Mali, the band, and Roy. If it’s this early and his phone is ringing, it’s someone who actually needs to reach him.

“Hello?” His croaky morning voice asks.

I hear faint murmuring from the other end of the call.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll cover for you.”

More murmuring.

“No worries.”

Murmuring.

“Yeah, love you too Ash.”

He hangs up, chucks his phone back onto the nightstand, and turns the light back off.

“Everything okay?” I ask while he snuggles back up to me, burying his face in my hair.

“He’s gonna stay at the hospital with Kay today. Asked me to cover for him with Matt.”

“He could’ve texted that…” I mumble, flipping onto my stomach to try to sleep that way now.

“Shh,” Cal whispers, tightening his grip around my waist.

—

We wake up for real a few hours later, and the first thing I do is send a text to KayKay.

To: KayKay

hi 💕 hope you’re doing okay. please let me know if you need anything!

She’s one of the few people I know who leaves her read receipts on, and I watch the status change from delivered to read almost instantly, but the bubble that says she’s typing never appears. I don’t expect a reply, but I am glad to know she’s at least read the message.

“Want me to make you a coffee?” I turn to Cal to ask. I don’t read the texts, but I see he’s texting Ashton on his phone.

He turns his head and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Sure, baby. That’d be great.”

I nod and kiss his cheek back before I throw the blankets off myself, careful not to expose Calum to the air in the process. I trudge to the kitchen, Duke trotting after me. I turn on the espresso machine to let it heat up and then scoop Duke’s breakfast into his bowl for him. Opening the fridge, I find the little baggie of unseasoned, boiled chicken pieces that I always ask Cal to set aside when he cooks. While I don’t eat meat, I’d never expect Duke to also be vegetarian, so I try to sneak some extra bonuses into his bowl like actual chicken. I throw a few chunks of the chicken into his bowl while he eats, and he immediately inhales them, preferring the fresh food to his kibble.

Once Duke is fed, I get out the oat milk for our coffees. Cal may not like sweetness in his coffee, but I do, so I also grab a syrup to put in mine. Today’s choice is salted vanilla, a flavor I’d bought at a local LA shop.

I scoop the espresso grounds into the basket and place our cups under the extractors, switching the machine mode to start brewing. The caramel-colored froth comes out a few seconds later, and I watch until the cups are filled to the right line before I shut the machine off.

Just as I’m scooping the ice into our cups, a sleepy Cal shuffles into the kitchen, a small smile playing at his lips when he sees me.

“If it isn’t my favorite barista,” he says, walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. “What flavor did you do today?”

“Salted vanilla.”

I stick a glass straw in each of our cups — blue for him and green for me — and turn around to hand him his glass. He takes his and taps it against mine.

“Salud.”

“Salud.”

Ever since that first night, we’ve never said cheers, nor have we mentioned it to each other that we’d only ever say salud. It’s just an unspoken rule, and I love it. He even signed his first card to me with it, since it was before we said ‘I love you.’

“Why does this one taste so good?” Cal asks, sipping his latte quickly.

I laugh. “I ordered this espresso from some roaster in DC that makes it taste like chocolate chip cookies.” It was a very targeted Instagram ad and I purchased it immediately.

“Will you send me the name of it? Maybe when we stop in DC I can get some, and I could maybe get you a t-shirt or something from there.”

“Yeah, I’ll text it to you later,” I agree. “But also you don’t need to get me anything. Just bring yourself back home.”

Calum rolls his eyes. “I’m gonna bring you something back home.”

I just laugh. “Okay, as long as that something is you.”

“You’re infuriating, you know that?”

“My specialty!”

Slurping up the last few drops of his latte, he glares at me with his still sleepy eyes. “No, you have many specialties, but being infuriating is not one of them.”

I smile. I’m curious to see what he’ll come up with on the spot. “Please, tell me what my many specialties are!”

“Hmm,” he starts. “Being an enneagram 2, finding the weirdest coffees to order, and being 5 feet tall but still intimidating.”

He makes me laugh so much I have to put down my coffee. “I am not intimidating!”

“Your fight with Mike the other night begs to differ.”

“That doesn’t count!”

“I think it does!”

I scoff, grabbing my coffee and walking to the couch, Calum following me instantly, trailing behind me like Duke does. “That wasn’t even a real fight.”

Plopping down next to me on the couch, Cal giggles. “It was so funny though.”

“I’m glad you found my distress amusing.”

“So it was a fight?”

I fight the urge to shove his shoulder and instead choose to roll my eyes. “Y’know, I was gonna offer to make you breakfast too, but you’re not being very nice to me this morning.”

Calum gasps. “But you always make me breakfast! I don’t even know how to make eggs the way you do.”

He gives me sad, puppy-like eyes.

“Then you should’ve thought about that before you called me intimidating.”

His mashes his lips together and his eyes narrow in an annoyed glare. “It’s not necessarily a bad thing!”

Instead of continuing the conversation, I flip him off and get off the couch again. I’m hungry, and too tired to play-argue with Cal much more. In the kitchen, I get out the eggs we have in the fridge and some of the frozen hashbrown patties from the freezer, setting the eggs by the stove and tossing three of the hashbrowns into the air fryer.

When I turn on the stove, I realize I’d forgotten the chili crisp in the fridge, but apparently Cal followed me again and hands it to me when I turn around to walk back to the fridge. I narrow my eyes at him. “So you do know how to make the eggs?”

He avoids looking me in the eye. “I will neither confirm nor deny.”

Frustratedly, I sigh. “Get me the green onions too, please.”

With Calum watching me the whole time, I make the breakfast that we have almost every morning together. It’s chili crisp fried eggs with green onions, cheese, hashbrowns, avocado, and ranch dressing. Honestly, I don’t know if he really likes it that much. It’s just been a hyper-fixation meal that I’ve not gotten tired of yet, and it’s easy to make, so it’s become part of my routine. Cal hasn’t complained about it, so I assume he likes it enough.

We eat breakfast in comfortable silence, both of us on our phones while we sit at the bar in our kitchen. I think Calum is answering work-related texts and emails, but I’m emailing with the deans of my majors and my advisor explaining my situation for the semester and trying to determine the best plan for me. Neither one of us really ever looks at the other’s phone, so I don’t feel too concerned that he’d look over and read what I’m typing.

“What are you gonna do today?” Calum breaks our silence.

I’m going back to see Dr. Harris today to discuss the biopsy, and Emelia is picking me up again to join me. Of course, I won’t be saying that to Calum.

“I think Em and I might just hang at her place. Maybe bake some cookies or something,” I say, coming up with a believable cover. We probably will also hang at her place. One of her roommates who’d sublet her room for the summer is back, so it’ll be nice to see her again.

“Be careful, don’t get too sick of Em before she’s your only friend in LA!” He’s joking, somewhat. I have other friends in LA, but not a ton that I spend time with regularly, especially not one on one.

“I think I’ll try to make plans with Macy sometime soon. She seems cool!” I’d asked her on Saturday how long she’d be in LA, and her answer, more or less, was that she’s here indefinitely, or at least for a full gap year.

Cal nods in agreement. “Yeah, and it’ll be nice to just know someone who lives so close. You guys also have so much randomly in common, it's like you were meant to enter that elevator at the same time."

I'm not a big 'manifestation' girl, nor am I religious or all that well versed in astrology, but I do believe in the universe putting things in your path that are meant for you. It put me and Calum at Space Monkey on the same night. It assigned me to the same freshman seminar as Emelia. It gave me to my parents. For whatever reason, Macy and I were meant to meet that morning.

"I think so."

Once we finish eating, Calum takes our plates to the sink and starts to wash up. That's part of our deal: if I cook, he cleans up. It's unspoken. We've never explicitly talked about it, but it happens that way and always has. Our habits have always just kind of slotted perfectly together. We aren't exactly the same, but where one of us falls short, the other picks it up.

After the kitchen is clean, Cal and I take Duke on a quick walk around the neighborhood, letting him sniff as much as he wants to tire him out. Per usual, we end up running into a fan. It doesn't happen every day, and sometimes not even every week, but it is still quite common. I don't mind, though. I get it. I get why people love him and 5SOS. I try to always offer to take the photo for them and take as many as I possibly can from the moment their phone is in my hand.

It's always so sweet to watch them interact, Cal always thanking them for their support and the fans so nervous and usually caught off guard by seeing him while on their own walk. On a very rare occasion, they ask for me to be in the photo, but I always feel so awkward and out of place being in it. I'm not famous for anything, nor do I want to be. I just happen to be in love with someone who is.

Cal wishes the fan a good day and we walk back home, passing Ron at the start of his shift (I promise to send a coffee down with Cal when he leaves shortly) and then we take the stairs up to our apartment to give Duke some extra exercise. We get changed in our clothes for the day. Cal's in another gym shorts and old t-shirt combo, and I'm wearing some bright green bike shorts with one of Cal's t-shirts. I had to beg him to leave me a few when he leaves, since I mostly just wear his t-shirts instead of my own. Once I'm dressed, I quickly make a coffee for Ron in the kitchen.

"It'll probably be a short one today, since Ash won't be there. Wanna grab some tacos by the beach tonight and watch the sunset?"

I gasp quietly, absolutely loving the idea instantly. Watching sunsets is one of my favorite things to do, and there's a really good vegetarian taco truck that tends to be at a beach access not too far from our apartment. "Yes! Oh my god, that's the best idea you've ever had."

He laughs. "I wouldn't go that far, but I figured it'd be something you'd like to do. I'll grab a bottle of wine on my way home too."

"You're just being nice since you're leaving me," I tease. It's not true — Cal is always this sweet and thoughtful, coming up with random plans that he thinks I'll like, bringing me ramen when I feel shitty, leaving sticky notes that have little messages on them around the apartment.

"I'm being nice because I love you and I'm your boyfriend."

"I love you too," I say. "I am now very much looking forward to tonight."

He grins, the crinkles by his eyes showing up. "Me too. I should get going though, gotta sweeten Matt up to not get pissed about Ash not coming today."

He closes the space between us and pulls me into a hug, squeezing me tightly. I squeeze him back right before I crane my neck to be able to kiss him. He meets me halfway, since I'm only so tall, pressing his lips against mine, and he doesn't let me pull away — not that I really want to. I gently wind my hand into his hair and trail my other one up and down his arm. Cal's hands pinch my waist before he pulls away, but then he gives me one last peck.

"Okay, I gotta go," he starts. "As much as I'd like to continue this."

I pout. "Okay. Have a good day, and let me know when you're heading home?"

"Of course. Love you." He steps away from me, but my hand is still on his arm, so it slides down until I grab onto his hand, giving it a final squeeze before I drop it.

"I love you too."

Then he actually leaves, grabbing some random sneakers from the closet and walking out of the apartment with the coffee I made for Ron in his hand. Once he's gone, I go back to the kitchen to make myself another coffee. Ash's early wakeup call is really messing with my energy, and I want to keep busy before the appointment. While I'm making mine, I check Emelia's location. She's on her way here, so I make one for her too.

I'm anxious about the appointment, but I'm just trying to not think about it. It's weird, knowing that I have cancer but just don't know how bad it is. It's like I know the punch is coming. The fist is right in front of my face. I just don't know if it's a knockout or a black eye.

Just as I'm adding the ice to our coffees, she texts that she's here. I grab our drinks, slip on my Birkenstocks, and head out.

"Have a good day, Ron!" I call as I hurry through the lobby.

Em's car is out front, hazards blinking just like last time. Except this time, when I get in the car, she isn't horrendously mad at me.

"Howdy," she cheerily says when I get in.

"Howdy," I say back, laughing. "Made you a coffee."

As she pulls out into the street, she glances at the cupholders for a split second, smiling when she sees the two cups. "I knew I chose you as my best friend for a reason."

I laugh, grabbing my cup to take a sip. "You wanted a best friend to drive to an oncology appointment who brings you a coffee?"

The words come out before I've really processed what I'm saying, and then the silence in the car feels deafening. Way for me to make it awkward.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that," is how I try to soften the quietness.

Em takes a drink from her coffee. "It's fine. I know this whole thing is just... weird. And hard."

I blow out a puff of air. Weird and hard are definitely two words we could use. I don't know what else to say now, so the rest of our ride to the hospital is nearly silent. She plays her favorite — Taylor Swift — and she sings along quietly.

When we get to the hospital, it goes just like it did last time. The check in girl is overly cheery, I sign some papers, and we wait for a few minutes, and then Russell calls us back. He doesn't bother using any niceties like 'good to see you again' because I'm sure he's well aware it's not a very joyous occasion.

Em and I wait in the sterile exam room, waiting for the punch to hit. Dr. Harris walks in and my anxiety spikes. I can feel my heart racing, and I know part of that is the fault of the caffeine I've had this morning.

Dr. Harris says good morning and takes a seat on her rolling chair, just like last time. Russell stays standing by the door that he closes behind himself, a tablet in his hands that he taps around on.

"I don't want to waste your time," is how Dr. Harris starts our conversation.

I gulp, even though my mouth is incredibly dry.

"Orion, your leukemia is in Stage Three."

The air in my lungs goes out and none comes back in. My eyes unfocus and my vision goes blurry. I'd done enough research in the past few weeks. There's no cure for leukemia generally, but once you're in stage three, you're coming down to crunch time. Stages zero through two, you can live seven or more years. You can still have a life.

It's stage three. The end feels like it's in sight. It is and it isn't, I guess.

It's ending, though. We're all running towards the finish line, mine is just closer than it should be at 21 years old.

When I break out of my daze, I realize my tears are falling quickly, streaming down my face in tiny waterfalls. I'm not sobbing. There are no noises coming from me, just so many tears building and falling simultaneously.

"We're going to start you on chemotherapy next week. We have an aggressive treatment plan for you, aiming to give you as much time as we can. We're already in the process of trying to find you a bone marrow transplant match, if that's something that we determine is beneficial for you."

I glance over and see Emelia is crying too, except she's quietly whimpering. Instantly I imagine my parents' faces, my brother's, and, of course, Calum's. The thought of seeing him crumble like this physically hurts. My chest aches, imagining him feeling the way Emelia and I feel right now. I already feel horrible, knowing the way this will impact Emelia's life, and everyone else's life. I am so scared to wreak such havoc on everyone's lives. I don't want them to hurt this much.

I don't want to hurt this much.

Dr. Harris rattles off more about the treatment plan, handing me a brochure about the chemotherapy drug they've selected for me, and on the back of it is a list of dates and times for the appointments that I'll come in for treatment over the next several months.

She says to call if we have any questions, understanding that right now isn't a good time for us to actually say anything or ask questions. Once her spiel is over, she says that we can take our time leaving, and they are going to check me out at the desk so we don't have to stop on our way out. Dr. Harris also has Russell bring me a pack of Oreos again, even though I didn't pass out today. I don't say anything, not even 'thank you' when he hands me the cookies.

Emelia is silent, too.

I'm not sure how long we both sit there crying, but eventually I realize how thirsty I am. I don't want to ask anyone for water. I don't want to speak to anyone. I want to go home and drink a gallon of water so I can cry it out and drink more and cry it out again.

"Can we leave?" I croak.

She takes a deep breath. "Yeah."

We both just look at each other, and the next thing I know, I'm laughing. Not a lot, and not loudly, but I'm laughing, and so is Em. Maybe I'm hysterical.

"God this is so fucked," she breathes out.

I laugh again. "I know."

Neither one of us has stopped crying, but the tears have subsided enough that I can see when we walk out. Em and I walk with our arms linked together, both of us wiping our eyes periodically so tears aren't just rolling freely. The LA sun outside is harsh, but the warmth is nice opposed to the cold, sterile hospital room.

Em unlocks her car as soon as we can see her rear bumper in the parking lot. I'm caught off guard when I hear someone calling my name.

"Orion!"

It's Ashton.

"Orion! Emelia! Guys, wait up!"

All I can think is 'fuck.'

I knew he was spending the day at a hospital, but I didn't think it would be this hospital.

Emelia and I both tense up and halt in our tracks. He's seen us, and he knows we heard him, and he undoubtedly saw our blubbering and crying. There's no escaping this conversation.

His footsteps come closer, quickly, and he jogs in front of us to catch up with us.

"Woah," he says when he sees us close up. "What's going on? Are you guys okay?"

I look over at Emelia and we lock eyes. I nod to her, and she knows what it means; she unlocks her arm from mine and continues walking to her car, leaving me to discuss this with Ashton alone.

"Not really?" My words come out as a question, even though it's a statement.

Ash's expression softens. "Come here." He holds his arms open, expecting me to walk into them for a hug.

I shake my head. I have to say it all before he can offer me comfort.

He looks hurt when I don't accept his offer. I don't know if I can watch his face morph even more when I tell him the truth.

"Please don't be mad," I say, quietly, and it almost sounds like a whimper.

His eyes are pitying while he nods. "Of course, I'm here to support you, what's going on? I saw you guys walking and I needed to make sure you were okay."

Ashton reaches a hand out to try to touch my shoulder, but I shrug it off.

I close my eyes, because I don't know how to look him in the eyes and tell him the truth. "I just got diagnosed with stage three leukemia."

I'm met with silence, and when I take a peek through my eyelids to see if Ashton is still there, I see that he's crying now. It makes me feel even worse.

"Please don't be mad," I repeat.

Ashton looks so confused and upset, and he looks at me with his kind eyes that are almost painful to look into right now. "How can I be mad at you?"

Right, that's fair. How could my friend be mad at me for having cancer?

I close my eyes again. Even though they're squeezed tightly shut, tears still slip out onto my cheeks. I'm impressed that I still have more tears to cry. "Please don't tell Calum."

I wait for the words to sink in before I open my eyes again, and when I do, Ashton looks even more confused and upset than he already did.

"Why not?"

I have to take far too many deep breaths after he asks that to avoid sobbing or choking on my words when I actually say them. I realize I don't have to follow through. I could still tell Calum. I could still tell him and let him be there for me and not keep this from him.

I could, but I also can't.

"He doesn't know."

Ashton nods, processing the words.

"And I'm not going to tell him until after the tour."

While the words hang in the air, Ashton is still just thoughtful, mulling my words over and letting them float, but when they sink in, they plummet. Hard. Fast. He's mad quickly thereafter.

"What?"

"I don't want him to know."

I watch something flash in his eyes and notice his jaw is clenched. "Orion—"

I cut him off. "You're not going to change my mind."

"You have to—"

"I don't have to do anything."

"Will you let me—"

"Ashton, I'm not telling—"

"LET ME SPEAK!" He roars, causing a few heads in the parking lot to turn towards us, and I shrink into myself. "You have to tell him. He worships you. He'd do anything for you. You have to let him know that the girl he loves is..."

When he trails off, it really sets in. I frown at him.

"I have to tell him the girl he loves is dying?"

I know that's what he was going to say, or at least that's what he meant.

"Do you know how bad that would hurt him?" I whisper. I still am having a hard time looking him in the eyes. I can't imagine how hard it would be to tell Calum.

Ashton opens his mouth to try to speak several times, but he never actually says anything.

"I know it's fucked. I just... I just can't tell him. I know you don't agree, and I don't expect anyone to, but it's my life and it's my relationship and it's my diagnosis to share. It's not yours, and it's not Emelia's."

Ashton nods, and I think he starts to understand what my thought process is. He's still crying, and I am too, and I think we're at a point in the conversation that I can hug him. Without warning, I step forward and throw myself at him, embracing him with every bit of strength I can. He hugs me back instantly.

"Please, please don't tell him," I beg.

He sniffles, lets out a tiny sob, and nods. "Okay, I promise."

read next chapter

--

a/n: so many emotions wowww. thank u for reading have a good day/night/morning/life :)

[circe69]

𝐂𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐄'𝐒 𝟏𝐊 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓

yayyaya!! 1000 already? crazy. anyways, time to have fun! below are some characters and prompts that i'd love to offer you for requests! just send me one of each and i'll start working on it!

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 -

1.) fake couple trope at a party! "are we seriously doing this?" "you were the one who wanted to wear the rings."

2.) sick trope 🤧 "you're already unbearable, it's even worse when you're high off cough medicine" "did i ever tell you how sittable your lap looks?"

3.) argument 😉 trope. HIGH tension. "learn how to shut your mouth, please" "why don't you come over and do it for me? please?"

4.) wearing their clothes after trying to clean out their closet as a favor- *starts blushing* "it's too big on you anyways." "well, we can always put it in the dryer!" "NO-"

5.) blind-kiss, you're both blindfolded at some party, and your friends are daring you to kiss. oh, also, one of you know who the other is. "come on, just do it!" "alright, alright fine, you ready stranger?" "always, stranger."

6.) drunk confessions - "this stuff tastes great, you wanna try it?" "oh su-" *sloppy kiss*

7.) power outage while you both hate each other - "ugh WHERE IS THE BREAKER?" "do I look like an electrician?" "honestly, ye-" "SHUT UP!"

8.) running in the hallway due to being late and you turn a corner and spill coffee on them - "OH SHOOT i am so sorry! this is all my fau-" *pulls you into an empty room and removes the coffee-stained shirt* "help me clean this up and i'll lie to your boss about where you were.

9.) waking up in the same bed after a party - "why are you in MY BED?" "you idiot, this is MY- oh." *steals covers to hide barely-clothed body, but turns out they're almost naked too. "Y/N, GIVE IT BACK QUICK."

10.) classic medic scenario. sure, it's used all the time but i can be creative - "it says here you're in for another doctor, but since i'm the only one available, i guess i'll preform the check-up! *the prettiest person they've ever seen walks in* *swallows loudly* "can i reschedule?" "oh come on, i don't bite!" "i wish they would."

11.) doing their hair for them, straddling their lap. "be quick with it, the meetin's in half an hour." "don't rush perfection."

12.) babysitting with them, they end up falling asleep, you and the baby draw on their face in their sleep - "wash it off now, y/n." "why can't you? you're a big boy." *literally pouting* "cause i don't know what stuff to use!"

13.) cooking with them, maybe midnight snacks - "what are you doin' out here?" "was hungry, couldn't sleep either." *sits at the counter* "make me a plate, wouldya?" "well, why don't you just make it with me?"

14.) them walking in on you taking a shower - "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" "chill, i was just getting my toothbrush." *silence for a few seconds* "want company?" "NO-"

15.) late night car rides, accidentally falling asleep on their shoulder. *head falls on his shoulder* "told ya you should get more sleep, you never listen" *sleepily responds* "i always listen to you."

16.) training with them and getting pinned - "gotcha" "UGH this isn't even fair, our weight isn't compatible in the slightest." *sly smirk* "maybe not, but it's still fun" *presses into you*

17.) hiding from someone in a small space with them - *hand from behind flys over your mouth* "if you talk you'll get us both killed" *you nod feverishly, trying not to notice the close proximity.

18.) going shopping with them but there's only one dressing room - "look you have to promise you'll turn around." "yeah yeah i promise" *starts undressing and sees them peeking* "HEY-" "my fingers were crossed"

19.) cooking breakfast in bed - "good morning, sleepyhead" "hmm what's that?" *showcases beautiful tray of food* "breakfast in bed!" "feed it to me."

20.) hand massages - "let me practice on you please? i just need to make sure i'm good at it." *ends massage* "well? how was it?" *takes a deep, shaky breath* "you have to promise you'll only do that for me."

21.) zipping up a dress for you - "what, is the zipper stuck or something?" "no, 'm just looking."

22.) playing out in the snow with them - *hits you in the face and you fall on the ground* "OWWW dude" *they come over and straddle you* "oh grow up big baby" *kisses all over your face, the last one being on your mouth.

23.) mornings where their clingy - "please stay" "i wanna get us coffee-" "no, stay" *burrows themselves in your neck and gives you a hickey* "HEY-" "there, now you can't go out like that. now go back to sleep."

24.) them falling asleep on your lap - "you drooled, sleepyhead." "you should be paying me for that." *gives them a kiss* "there you go."

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 -

1.) Simon "Ghost" Riley

2.) Johnny "Soap" Mactavish

3.) John Price

4.) Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

5.) König

6.) Alejandro Vargas

7.) Philip Graves

[treeashhere]

Heya! I saw your requests were open so I thought I'd send one in :)

Can I request some fluff headcanons for Chiaki and Izuru (separately) with an S/O who's normally really tired?

I hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night!

I hope I did your request correctly but if not, then tell me otherwise! I'll change it or make a new one. I wasn't sure what to add so I mightve made it a bit short but thank you for requesting! Looking forward for more ^^

Chiaki definitely relates with you alot, I mean she always fall asleep on everywhere, even on to your body while playing video games.

But to your situation almost the same as her, she do understands you. Of course, that didn't stop her from being concerned for you even if she's sounding like a hypocrite right now.

She'll always sleep next to you, to your shoulder/head whenever she feels like it, especially if you drifted to sleep. Though if you ever stay up at night,,

Chiaki will stay with you for a while, but reminding you that you need to take care of yourself, especially since your mental health might take a toll on you. You appreciate it but you can't help it, can you?

If you can't sleep at night then Chiaki will offer you to play some video games with her, and after a few rounds, she will make you go sleep. She cares for you and she wants you to not be like her, along with her unhealthy habits such as playing video games everywhere.

If ever she caught you with caffeine? No. She won't force you to stop drinking coffee but she will however want you to atleast stop relying on coffee all the time, it's bad for the health.

Whenever you're tired from your work or just from simple things such as your hobbies, she'll be there in a second trying to cheer you up, especially if the things you've done didn't work out the way you initially thought.

"Please take care of yourself often.. I don't want you to turn out like me.."

But if you're naturally tired that even though your getting a full 8 hours of sleep, then she will always offer you to sleep with her or without her, either way she still care for your health.

Though, Chiaki would definitely be happy if ever she finds you asleep somehow because of your tiredness, she'll just lie in bed with you and silently sleep with you.

Izuru over here will know about your tiredness, I mean it's him, what do you expect? But he still does wonders for a bit if your health is okay or not.

So expect him a bit observant than usual, he wants to see your symptoms to see if you're healthy or not, This is just his way of his own.. love language, yknow, caring for you.

If you're naturally tired then he'll stop himself from observing you. But that doesn't mean he'll stop caring for you as he don't want you to be unhealthy like someone else.

Of course, if you think about offering him to sleep wit you because of your tiredness from either work or something else, he'll just cut you off before you even asked him to. This is Izuru, He can still read your mind.. somehow. Which will result in him sleeping with you, he doesn't find interest but he does find it calming to be with you.

He will keep an eye on you for a while, especially with your habits. Izuru will always find you awake at night, he will go and tell you 'You're always tired at day but you're awake at night.' Which leaves you in finding reasons.

But if you always drink coffee, don't even bother trying to hide it, he will know it and he will try to cut down your coffee habits thing just to get you a normal sleep for once in your life.

He may not show it but he really do care for you. He may not be emotionally active when it comes to you, he'll always wants you to be atleast physically and mentally healthy since tiredness can take toll on your mental health,

"....Try to atleast maintain your sleep schedule or your habits instead, I fear that you most likely get your health get worse than before."

But if you're really naturally tired, as if you were born to be tired or something similar like that, he will atleast make you eat vitamins after you eat just for you to be healthy.

He will be calm if he ever sees you starting to take care of yourself once he given you all the warnings and stuff, seeing you to be asleep at night makes him feeling.. relief.

[poptod]

Cyber Security (Elliot Alderson)

Description: An online ad leads him to you, though in reality he has little interest in your ad. What interests him is how you accidentally doxxed yourself and how oblivious you are to that fact.

Notes: idrk what to say about this one its one of those things that i wrote at midnight after almost falling asleep to a fantasy and then realizing it could work as a fic. like i did this same thing with ‘close your eyes’ that one was also a before-bed-to-get-to-sleep fantasy. this is also not a particularly romantic interaction, though it can be read as such WC: 2.2k

+

Sweat drenched his sheets, bathing him in the cold wind that breezed past his only air conditioner lodged in a nearby window. He stared blankly upwards, half shivering and half overheated, as he once again found himself in a familiar predicament—the practice of sleep.

It was no secret he had trouble calming himself down, and that aspect of himself reached into the evening, as well. He already downed three melatonin pills hours earlier, along with smoking a joint that should’ve put him to bed. Unsurprisingly, that did not work.

“Xanax,” he mumbled to himself, hearing it bounce back from empty walls. “Need to get xanax.”

In the meantime he raised himself to his feet, padding across freezing floors to his computer. With a click of a button the white screen buzzed to life, shining bright onto his sleep-heavy eyes, that did their best to acclimatize to the sudden change.

Hypnotization—strange as it might’ve been—had worked a couple times before. Not all the time, but decently enough to give it a try. He had work in the morning and he didn’t need to be more miserable than usual, especially since he hadn’t slept almost the entire weekend.

sleep hypnosis

The blinker flickered for a moment before his fourth finger slammed down on enter, the last step in calculated movements. What popped up first was a video titled [ SLEEP HYPNOSIS ] 8 Hour Loop with a screencap of a spinning black and white screen. Below that, however, was something he hadn’t seen before—a YouTube video titled exactly what he’d typed, lacking the caps just as he had. The title screen appeared to be some sort of poorly-drawn painting.

Curiosity overcame his hazy, aching head, and he clicked, finding a playlist of videos containing what could be the titles of songs, along with several different poorly-drawn title screens.

The first video began to play before he could realize it. What he first noticed was it was bereft of ads—that meant the publisher made no money off the album.

Sat in the presence of God

whose name means filthy old fraud

Captions had been manually added by, he assumed, you. The author. There were three views on the video, no comments, and no likes, leaving few other options.

Maybe it was the melody—maybe the lyrics, who talked of a world plagued by aristocrats. But he found his eyelids heavy, dropping dark eyelashes in his vision that blurred the screen. By the third song, reciting verses of an Islamic poem, he was slouched in his seat.

He slid down to the floor, crawling his way back to flop onto his bed. The music continued to play till the first ad popped up, at which time he opened his eyes, seeing a music video from Katy Perry, at which time he promptly reached over and unplugged his computer. He wasn’t sure which cord he pulled out, but the screen still went black. With that, he just barely sneaked into his covers, dozing until the morning.

It was far too easy to get information on you. Your full name was stated clearly in your youtube bio, alongside several different social media tags leading to instagram, tumblr, and facebook.

Facebook alone provided him the means to your address, and he didn’t even have to go looking for it. Your most recent post was an ad, searching for someone good with computers to aid you in your recording process, which you noted as ‘dismal’.

Are you fucking kidding me? He thought to himself, reading the ad once more.

Your address, your real, physical address was stated as the place you wanted to meet those interested in helping you. On the internet. You had doxxed yourself after less than a year of being online.

Okay, he thought, clicking on your listed email. Someone needs to be taught a lesson.

Three days later—after about two weeks of listening to your echoing voice every night—you replied, sending a cheerful email detailing when you would be available to meet him. After shooting a short message back, the date was organized.

Two more days and he was standing at your doorstep, his neck craned upwards as he scanned your tall, narrow home squished between two other apartments. He just barely knocked before the black door swung open, revealing a familiar face belonging to a stranger. Elliot was dressed in his black hoodie and jeans, a stark difference to your long, colorful robes, coming out of a sort of fantasy world.

“Hi,” he said, his voice grating with how low and quiet he kept it.

“Hello,” you said with a smile that did not match his hunched posture. “Are you Mr. Alderson?”

“Elliot,” he corrected, his chin just barely raising to meet you. “Elliot Alderson. Elliot works.”

“Alright,” you said, nodding. “Come inside? I was just making tea. Do you like tea? Or do you prefer coffee?”

“I... I’m fine, thanks,” he said softly, scooting past you when you opened the door wide enough for him to enter. He sucked in a breath as his chest brushed yours.

Your home was modern—far fancier than Elliot’s own apartment, with large windows flanked by soft grey curtains. A small, upright piano was in the corner of the living room, set upon a reed mat lined with Korean symbols. The couch was clinical, made of a sort of black plastic leather that matched the grey skies beyond the window panes.

He sat down, shifting his feet closer together as his fingers dug into his palms, continuing to scan the room in its’ entirety until you returned with your own tea.

“What kind of experience do you have? School counts,” you said, setting your cup down on a tiny plate whose decorations matched your teacup.

“I’ve been... experimenting, with computers, since I was around 9,” he said, mumbling the words out as his shoulders hunched awkwardly down. “Have a job at a cyber security firm. Started a while back.”

“You still have that job?”

“Yeah,” he said with a small nod. “Jus’ thought this would be... fun.”

The dead look on his face indicated no humor whatsoever, but you took his word as it was.

“How’d you find the ad I put out?”

“I... I listened to your music,” he answered honestly for once. “Helps me fall asleep.”

“Oh,” you said, clearly taken aback. Your face grew warm as you glanced away with wide eyes. “I’m glad I could help.”

“You’re not very good with technology, though,” he said in his usual low, grating voice.

“Not really,” you chuckled sheepishly. “That’s why I put out the ad -“

“No, not that,” he interrupted you. “You put your physical address on the internet. You doxxed yourself. Do you even know how dangerous that is?”

The lyrics of your songs pointed towards a kind of brilliance, balanced against emotions felt thoroughly on pages and screens. It didn’t match your actions at all.

“What’s doxxing?” You asked.

Elliot had to physically stop himself from sighing and leaving.

“You want everyone to know where you, a minor celebrity, live?”

“I’d hardly call myself a -“

“I could’ve been a murderer,” he said, reaching into his bag.

He looked you in the eye as he pulled out a gun, clicking on the safety before he pointed it at you.

“This is how easy it would be to kill you.”

As expected, you stiffened at the sight of the iron barrel, your fingers withdrawing to your chest. Your lips pursed as you met his gaze once more.

“Please put the gun down,” you whispered, your voice cracking.

He did as you said, resting the gun on the table.

“That’s a hell of a way to start an interview, Mr. Alderson,” you said quietly. “Please get out of my house.”

His heart sank. What had he expected? For you to fall to your knees and sing to him as he desired you to do? He threatened you with a gun to teach you a lesson, and you reacted accordingly. Calmer than others would.

Elliot stood on shaky legs, sliding the pistol into his backpack before he zipped it up. Throwing the pack over his shoulder, he swallowed through a tight throat, shuffling as he delayed his departure.

“Keep safe from people like me,” he said in a strained mumble. “Take that ad down. Meet people from the internet only in inhabited, public areas.”

You tapped your fingernails on the table for a moment, chewing on your bottom lip. Suddenly you stood, tugging on his sweatshirt sleeve to get him to face you, instead of staring at his feet.

“Alright. If you’re really so good at the internet -“

He ignored your incorrect grammar.

“- and... if you actually do want to help me with my songs,” your tone softened, “then you’ll be able to find my real name, not my stage name. If you do.. I’ll hire you.”

“Alright,” he said monotone, knowing the battle was already won.

Even though he knew your name already, he turned away and left to his apartment, immediately going to work on figuring out everything he could about you. If you willingly still offered him the job after that, he knew it would take a lot to scare you off. He could impress you.

It was, after all, the only thing he was good at.

Two days later he showed up at your apartment again, quietly thanking you when you let him in. The clean floors and walls remained unchanged since his last visit, and you led him to the same table, sitting him down on the same seat.

“Your name is (Y/N) (L/N),” he started with. You already appeared to be surprise. “You grew up near LA and you’ve had a chronic illness all your life. At eleven you saw your first therapist.. that must’ve been when you first got diagnosed with depression... and anxiety.”

“Killer duo,” you muttered.

“Your parents split when you were thirteen, which came at the same time as your dog, Penelope, died. Or... sometime that year. When was that... 1997?”

“1999,” you said quietly.

“Your mom homeschooled you,” he continued. “That’s probably why you don’t know how computers work. Rather eclectic, in a.. boring way... an ex-Amish, right?”

You nodded and his heartbeat tripled. Everything was right thus far despite a two year difference in his guesstimate of your life’s timeline.

“Then there was your dad... logger in the Redwood forests. Burly guy. Not a great man, from what I saw,” he said.

“He was fine,” you said with a small shrug as you looked away. “Didn’t ever hurt me, or anything.”

“Abuse isn’t always physical,” he said faster than he could think, dizzied by his own memories playing behind his eyes.

“I know,” you murmured.

You went silent, so he continued, hoping to pry more precious words from you.

“Your favorite color is yellow,” he said, leaning closer to you. “On Valentine’s you get chocolate strawberries, and on easter you get kinder eggs.”

Nothing.

“You studied mythology as a kid, and you made paintings of the forest you lived in with your mom. Santa Cruz mountains, I think.”

“Yeah,” you said. “I miss the forests.”

“I know. You want to visit Ireland again because it’s a land of faeries and moss, it’s a breeding ground for your song lyrics.”

“How did you find all this out?” You finally asked.

“You use the same password on everything,” he said, though that was far from the actual answer. “Your web browser tracks all your movements and you don’t try to stop it, or hide ads, or stay away from sketchy websites. Your parents aren’t much better, either.”

You chuckled, shaking your head as you brought your hand to massage your brow.

“You’re way too smart to be helping me,” you said with soft laughter, blushing with your smile.

“It’s better than working for E Corp,” he said, huffing out a laugh that was hardly humored.

“E corp?”

“My.. uh, place of work,” he brushed off his slip. “My point is... I’d rather work with you and do easy work than work with my current fucking coworkers.”

You laughed, truly and fully this time, curling into a little ball that shook with the force of it. Your feet tucked into your tiny chair, making you even smaller.

“Bad people or just annoying?”

“Stupid,” he chuckled. “Don’t let me wear my sweatshirt.”

“Ooh, now it’s my turn,” you suddenly interrupted him, earning a strange look. “I’ve noticed things about you, too. I couldn’t learn anything off the computer, but you, you have anxiety too. Probably some childhood trauma.. maybe a dissociative disorder of sorts or a form of PTSD. Your jacket is like your home, and... you have sensory issues. Few types of fabric, don’t like to be touched, if I had to guess I’d say you might be autistic.”

“Blunt,” he said after a full minute’s silence.

“Do you mind?” You asked.

“No, not really.”

“Good. Then you’re hired,” you said with a smile, extending your hand for him to shake. “If you still want the job, of course.”

He watched you with evident apprehension, but took your hand after much thought, shaking with a firm grip.

“When do I start?”

[hobbitsnapes]

YOU GUYS ARE DATING

Corpse x MGK!sister reader

(Found this image on Pinterest so all credit goes to artist, if you know who it is please comment below so I can credit them)

A/N: this was requested by @heyitssab

Tree is tall of sex in this, but it’s more in a joking matter, plus corpse has stated he doesn’t mind as long as you are not a minor or send or tag him. I’m literally 2 years younger than him, and have no intentions of ever tagging him or sending him any of my work XD

Summary: how many idiots does it take to tell the brother and friend they’re dating? Apparently takes 2 very forgetful people, who kept their relationship secret without knowing it.

It had just been by chance, a small chance that he had been scrolling through his tags. liking and reposting art, when he saw a tag from someone he followed. He wrecked his brain for when he had followed her, coming up empty. She was cute, no denying the beauty she had as she laughed in the video. It was a clip from a stream that he didn’t know she had, as he couldn’t even remember her name, wearing his merch as it fit her snug. It fit her perfectly in fact, the large hood covering her face, hiding the flush to her face from her rather large chuckles that left her body. He couldn’t help but like the photo, and he couldn’t help but to press message either.

It was first only small likes to posts, an Occasional message, and a view on their livestreams, but that all changed when he spoke of the song he was working on with her older brother.

It all started that night, when both lay in their beds as they talked, laughed, and felt their hearts flutter each time they heard one another speak.

Her phone rang violently in her bag, nearly making her drop the to go bag all over the ground as she walked. “Hello?” She asked, as she held both bags with her hands as her shoulder gripped the phone as if it’d fall down a cliff. “Hey bug!” He exclaimed, making her chuckle as she heard the booming sound of his voice. She had always detested the nickname, as he gave it to her as kids due to her horrendous fear of the creatures. But, it brought more joy to her, as it reminded her of their youth. Having been adults for years, it was fun to hear such a childish name that’s stuck.

“Hey mopey.” She chuckled, as that was the name she gave him when he was in his emo phase that he never outgrew.

Both talked as she walked towards the elevator, mainly about how his day had gone as she silently listened.

She had always been this way, always the shyer of the two, the one to listen to others first before she said a word. He had teased her for it most of their childhood and teen life, but he had grown to love it, as he could let loose or rant to her about anything, and he knew she’d be there just to listen to him.

“So what’re you doing right now?” He asked, as she got into the elevator. “Just grabbed some dinner a few minutes before you called and nearly made me shit.” A smile painted on her face at his boisterous laughter.

“Are you at home?” He asked, as he heard the sound of the elevator beeping in the background. “No, I’m spending the night with my boyfriend.”

She had mentioned about a month prior that she was seeing someone, the joy it brought him to hear the excitement and joy in her tone as she gushed about their first date.

If this was 7 or 8 years prior, he would be bombarding her with questions about the man, who he was, where he lived, where he could meet him to find his intentions with his baby sister. But, in the last few years, he found himself feeling calmer whenever she’d mentioned her love life. He knew she was smart, and would never date a man who treated her poorly. The few breakups she had, they always ended amicably, her head still high as she told him. So, he never asked her any questions about the man, as he could tell from the few times she mentioned him, he could feel the love this man had for her, and Vice versa.

The strong barreling of her phone alerted them awake, both groaning out as she reached for her phone without lifting her head from his shoulder. “Hello?” She mumbled, voice slurred as the saliva was thick in her mouth, barely awake as she fought to listen in on who dares to wake them up.

“Hey!” He exclaimed, making her equally exhausted lover groan. She shifted off of him, laying on her back as he turned away from her, as to hopefully shut his eyes and fall back asleep. She was used to her brother's large voice, as it hardly phased her after growing up with him. “Colson, why are you calling me this ungodly hour?” “Oh come on, it’s not that early.” “Col its-“ She pulled her phone from her ear, eyes shutting violently as the bright light blinded her “5 o’clock in the morning. So again, I’m going to ask you, why did you call me at the asscrack of dawn?” “You don’t remember?” He asked, making her irritation grow. “No, that’s why I’m asking.” She says, as she rubbed her sleep crusted eyes. “You were coming up today to hang out with casie, remember?” Her hand stopped rubbing her face, as she felt her heart stop momentarily. “Wait, you mean today? I thought I was coming Friday?” “No, both of you settled on today, remember I told you that’s perfect because I have a day off?” She felt her heart pain as she heard the sadness in his tone, knowing he’s expecting her to bail. “Yeah sorry, I thought you meant Friday so I mixed it up, let me get ready and I’ll be out the door okay? Love you” she said, as she hung up the line.

Before she could even move, she felt his arm wrap around her body. A tired groan leaving his lips. “Nooo stayyyy.” He groaned, pulling her body to his. She smiled as she looked down at him, wrapping her arm on his chest and the other behind his neck. “I wish I could live, but I can’t.” Planting a soft kiss against his lips. “Stay in bed for a few more hours, please?” Her heart pulled at his tone, hearing just how tired he was. “I can’t, casies wanted me to come up for weeks now. And it takes a good 3 hours to get there. I wanna spend as much time as I can with them before it gets dark so I can get back safely.” He groaned at this, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah but it’s only 5, it wouldn’t be safe to drive since we went to bed like, 2 hours ago.” “Yeah, and whos fault was that mister?” She teased, “hmm, sorry but I just couldn’t keep my hands to myself after not seeing you for a few days.” He mused, pulling her body closer to his, planting his lips against hers. A small hum left her lips as he pulled her thigh over his, grabbing the flesh harshly as their lips cascaded together. “Mm, no no no, you’re not gonna convince me to stay here just to go another round.” She said, as she got off from his warm body, throwing his large hoodie over her bare body. “Oh come on babe, are you sure about that?” He said, making her turn around to him. A small gasp left her lips as her eyes took in his milky white complexion. His honey brown eyes looking back at her with a small smile etched onto his face. His hair a tousled mess that resembled a bird's nest, some pieces falling onto his face. “Honey, I’ve been wanting to see my family for weeks now, I see you almost everyday and practically live here. I’ll be back tomorrow so I can grab more clothes from my place okay?” She placed a kiss to his lips, both holding one another in their arms. “I don’t know why you don’t just say fuck that place and just move in.” He mumbled, making her chuckle and heart warm. “Don't you think it’s a little soon though? I mean we’ve only been together a few months love.” “Yeah, but you’ve practically lived here since we got together, you literally just go there to get more clothes that you end up leaving here.” She looked into his eyes as she thought about his words. “Hm, I’ll think about it today okay?” She mused, planting a kiss to his lips. A soft okay leaving him as she got up.

“And babe, remember if you live here, we can have all the sex we want and not have to worry about driving to get one another.” He exclaimed, laughing at the loud honey she screamed from the bathroom.

She couldn’t help but laugh out as she watched, as her niece tried her hardest to braid her fathers grown out hair. It was near impossible not to, as pieces would fall out, resulting in her pulling them harsher, nearly pulling his eyelids back due to the tension from his temples. “Okay okay you’re gonna fuckin scalp me.” He chuckled , as all three bursted out in large laughter.

“So how’s school going this year?” She asked her, as she delicately painted her nails. Both of the girls had found themselves on the floor in front of the nice coffee table, as colson sat and chatted with them. “It’s going really well.” “Oh yeah? Make any new friends?” She teased. “I mean, kinda.” She couldn’t help but hear the wavering in her tone, spotting the faint blush dusting her skin. “Ohh, so there’s a someone eh?” She teased to her, making the preteen hide her face as to conceal the flush. “His names Garrett, and we both take social studies together. He always sits next to me at lunch, and we’ll draw on my notebook.” She gushed, making her smile. “Soo, do you think he likes you?” “I mean, that’s what everyone keeps saying.” “Yeah well don’t worry about it to much cas, you’re not dating anyone for many more years. You’re still a kid.” Her das said, making the young girls face fall.

Y/N knew he was only saying this to protect her, as he said the same thing to her growing up. “Hey, don’t be bummed out about it. He is right, you both are only 12 and should focus on school. But don’t worry, he’ll come around. He was just like that with me up until my current boyfriend.” She whispered, making the young girl chuckle.

“Speaking of which, how are you guys doing?” He asked, as she hadn’t mentioned hun to her in a while. He didn’t think it’d hurt to ask. “Great actually, we’re thinking of moving in together actually.” “That’s great! I’m really happy that y’all met.” “Yeah, I am too.” She hummed, a flush dusting her cheeks.

Both men laughed as they chatted on the phone, talking about anything that would come to mind. What was once only a collaboration for a song, turned into an amazing friendship that caused both of them to call at late hours just to shoot the shit.

A yawn left his lips, as he listened to colson ramble on about another song he was making. “Woah, you tired man?” Colson asked, shocked to hear the sound. “Yeah sorry, was up most of the night last night.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Were you feeling alright?” He asked, worry laced in his tone. He knew all about his friends illnesses, even once being on the other end of the phone during a bad spell one day.” “Oh yeah yeah yeah, was just, up with the misses last night.” He chuckled, a flush blooming on his cheeks. “Ohhh yeah? And how was it?” This shocked him, nearly feeling his heart stop. Like, does he usually know about his sisters sex life? He didn’t think much of it, as he knew just how close both were. “It was absolutely fucking amazing. Like I thought we’d be done for the night, fully tapped out but after like 5 minutes she’d be right back on me for another round.” He chuckled, his flush even worse than before. “Ayyyeee good for you corpse, glad to hear that puss is bussin.” He laughed at this, throwing his head back. “Yeah, it’s bussin bussin.”

Both men talk as they read from their phones, eyes wide in absolute awe of the love they received from the song. They had just dropped it a few days prior, not expecting the cry of joy from both fan bases.

He didn’t even look up from it when she walked in, until she bent down to plant a kiss to his forehead. “Sorry I had completely forgot about the tea I made you an hour ago, but I put it back on the stove to heat it up so if it’s twisting funky just tell me okay?” Before he could even thank her, both their heads whipped towards the loudness from the other line. “Y/N? Is that you? What in the hell are you doing there with corpse!” He didn’t sound angry, more shocked than anything, both of them looking at the phone in confusion. “I, I love here? Remember I told you like a month ago I was moving in with him?” “WHAT!” Both jumped at the loud scream. “Wait so you guys are dating!?” Both we’re even more perplexed, until it dawned on both of them. Their eyes wide as they turned their heads to one another slowly. “Wait you didn’t tell him?” “No? He’s one of your best friends so I thought you did!” “He’s your brother! So I thought you did!” Both whisper, until all three lay silent. That was until, the large cry of laughter that leaves the two, leaving colson even more confused. He wasn’t mad, not at all actually. More shocked and confused than anything. Until he started thinking, it does make sense, all the times they spoke about one another without him knowing, all the times they mentioned-“OH GOD!” He yelled, gagging violently, making them stop their laughing fit. “What's wrong? Why are you yelling?” She asks “like a month ago corpse was talking about how he was tired cause he was up all night having sex AND I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU! OH GOD WAS THAT WHY YOU WERE LIMPING THAT DAY WITH CAS AND I!” Both laugh even harder, as they listen to his ever growing gags.

“So yeah,. That’s literally how we had no idea we were keeping the relationship secret from her brother.” He laughed, as he red the comments and listened to his friends' laughter. She sat beside him, head laying on his shoulder as he told the story. She couldn’t help but to look back up into his eyes, as he glanced down at her, planting a soft kiss to her lips. “Keep it pg guys.” Colson said from the other line, making them chuckle.

[samtheplatypus]

Ok so this goes out of the usual I guess??

I was trying something, and honestly I think it came out pretty good

Now if you'll excuse me I'll be on my way to keep drawing my beloved husband

[conjurethecosmos]

Honey we need to talk - Steve Rodgers x little!reader

AN:///Hey this is my first fan fiction so please don’t be that hard on me lmao. also i just wanted to say that this isn’t a kink and I don’t write any kink related stuff. PSA age regression is a coping mechanism. If you like my work please like <3 also my asks are open so feel free to ask or suggest stories if you like :)

Word Count: 2k

(Y/N) POV

The surviving Avengers were finally coming back to the tower. Life had already changed just within the hours of the blip, but (Y/N) was alone and did not know about the blip. (Y/N) had been home at the tower safe, protected, from the terror that the avengers were fighting. She knew about Thanos and how he was trying to get all the stones, but the Avengers are the most powerful superheroes ever, they have to win, right? F.R.I.D.A.Y had been keeping watch of the currently sleeping (Y/N) making sure she was okay. The Avenger’s tower was known to be soundproof to keep the bustling sound of the city outside, which is why (Y/N) hadn’t been disturbed. The screams, screeches of cars, and general commotion of the people were not heard by the sleeping girl. F.R.I.D.A.Y did know what had happened when she lost contact with most of the avengers. She did not want to alarm (Y/N) since she had been extremely stressed out and with stress came her age regression. F.R.I.D.A.Y just did not want her to panic without anyone to physically console her since almost everyone she loved was gone. She would just wait till the remaining avengers arrived back to tell her what happened and so she could inevitably regress in the comfort of someone’s arms.

(Y/N) woke up with a yawn surrounded by scattered stuffed animals and ruffled bedsheets. The first thing that she wanted to do was to check her phone to see if Bucky, Steve, or Peter texted her to check up or send a picture of them together happy and coming home. Peter was a regressor like (Y/N) and they would always play together in the toy room conveniently located next to (Y/N)’s room. But, when she tapped on their phone it would not turn on. Even the dead battery screen that would pop up if she did forget to charge her phone the night before didn’t even pop up. So, she decided to ask F.R.I.D.A.Y what was wrong with the phone. “I am sorry (Y/N) I can not seem to turn on your phone, there doesn’t seem to be any issue with it” F.R.I.D.A.Y states. “What do you mean nothing wrong? It won’t even turn on. Ugh I guess I will have to go and get a new phone then.” (Y/N) says. That is when F.R.I.D.A.Y quickly responds “I am sorry to tell you this, but I have been advised to keep you inside for your safety.” She let out a huff and decide that she might as well get dressed. She doesn’t even know when everyone will be back, but the night before Steve called and said that they would all probably be back the following day. All she wanted to do is color and play with stuffies with Peter while Steve sat in the chair in the corner of the shared playroom reading a book.

Steve’s POV

Bucky disintegrated right before his eyes. His best friend, gone, all from a snap. Thanos had disappeared and left Steve, Natasha, Wanda, and Bruce enraged, however, what could they do. The flight back was solemn and quiet. No one dared to cry in front of each other despite the trauma accumulated today, save for Nat who sat quietly crying. Steve only looked forward to seeing his favorite person, (Y/N), which he cared for most of the time due to her tendency to regress when he is with her. He did not mind at all, in fact his caring personality just made him gravitate more towards being (Y/N)’s caregiver. His brain was going a mile a minute just thinking of how to tell (Y/N) that half the population was gone, including some people she loved so much. The avengers were informed by F.R.I.D.A.Y which avenger had sadly been blipped. That only caused the already somber mood to become worse. Steve just sat there staring at the many buttons on planes’ cockpit thinking about how (Y/N) would react to the news of Peter being gone. He was her only little friend, he was always there for her when she was having a hard day and needed to regress. They were best friends, just like Bucky and I. ‘I think I will just tell her as an adult and then take care of her if she needs to regress’ Steve thought. They then eventually started descending onto the landing pad on top of the tower.

(Y/N)’s POV

It was now about 8 pm. You kept youself occupied by cleaning since oddly enough the usual cleaner never showed up.You thought that it was weird, but assumed that the cleaner may have had the day off or something. The T.V. was also broken, like your phone it wouldn’t turn on. You could not watch the news or a movie, so you were pretty bored the whole day.  You were pulled out of your boring thoughts when you heard keys enter the lock on the front door. Steve entered first looking panicked as he looked around to see if you were there, alive. You smiled at him and gave him a big hug, which caused him to hug you tighter almost as if you would disappear right before him. Immediately, you knew it was a hard mission. I mean they were gone for weeks so it had to be hard. However, He had a look on his face that you had never seen before. “Honey we need to talk” Steve sighed. They both walked into your bedroom to talk in private. You sat down on your bed hugging your stuffed purple fluffy bunny that was won by Bucky at a fair one year. Steve got the chair by your desk and moved it to be in front of you and then sat. “So, I am sure you are wondering what happened today?” Steve asked. “Yeah kinda. I haven’t heard anything since my phone is broken and the T.V. was off” you huffed. “Sweetie there really isn’t a good way of putting this...” he hesitated for a second but then started talking again looking at you straight in the eyes, “So Thanos got all the stones and snapped his finger which caused half the population to disappear.” You then started hugging your bunny as he continued to explain which avengers were gone. Tears were already starting to spill as you shut your eyes tightly. When he mentioned that peter was gone that is when you let out a loud pained cry. Steve had to hug you, to comfort his princess. He was not sure if he should have told you that a ton of people were gone, but you needed to know. If he didn’t and you would have asked about Peter, it would probably cause him to burst into tears. You started to regress, he could tell because you started sobbing and rocking. He knew that he needed to comfort you better than just hugging you so he decided that distracting you might be better. “Princess, I know you are sad about what I told you, but I just want you to know I am here for you.” Steve calmly says. “Bu-But I wan Pete n buck” (Y/N) blubbered. “I know baby, you can cry as much as you want,” He says while placing your head on his chest. Tears stain his shirt. He was tempted to cry with you, but he knew he needed to save his tears for when he was alone. Now was the time for his princess to grieve. After you crying for about twenty-five minutes Steve grabbed your paci so you could sleep. He could tell you had regressed. He placed you on your bed to lay down with your favorite bunny stuffie in your arms. Steve decided to sleep in the chair for the night just to watch over you in case you woke in the middle of the night in need of some comfort. He sat there staring at your sleeping form silently sobbing just because of all the stress of the day. It just hit him like a wave, but he eventually fell asleep. You woke up at 2 am to use the bathroom. You looked around the nightlight lit room to find Steve passed out in a chair located in the corner of the room. You slowly walked over, stuffie in hand, to wake the superhero up. You could not go to the bathroom by yourself since she was scared Thanos would be outside her door. Not even the bravest stuffie you owned could calm your fears. You poked Steve’s thigh to wake him up. Steve looked around in a panic only to see your puffy face. “Hey doll, what does my little princess need?” he asks. “I need to go potty, but I scared to go alone...” You shyly stated. “That’s okay, come on baby.” He escorts you to the bathroom and back. “Um Stevie, could you pwease cuddle me to sleep. I scared to sleep myself?” You sheepishly ask. ”Of course my baby.”

The next morning

You had woken up small. You could only speak like a three-year-old. That was okay with Steve though because he loved caring for you. He carried you into the living room and went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee and you a sippy cup with strawberry milk with a plate of mini pancakes. He turned on your favorite Disney movie while he cooked for you. Caring for you was a needed distraction. He needed to feel like he was making a difference and obviously, the events of the previous day made him feel like all his efforts of protecting America or the Earth were all for nothing. But, taking care of you was rewarding and therapeutic. “Stevie, thanks for the pancakes, dis milk is so good too!” (Y/N) exclaimed with a cute little smile. “Aw, you’re so welcome, sweetie.”

5 years later

Time had passed, (Y/N) regressed more often than ever. She was rarely ever her adult self. Thankfully Steve had set up a group talk therapy session with some survivors which (Y/N) joined every time they had a meeting. She would only talk about missing Peter while hugging a stuffie she would bring. The group members never judged her though since they all had their own coping mechanisms if they had any. She was usually really shy in front of the group since mentally she was three and really did not have that much to say in front of the strangers.

Eventually, Bruce hatched an idea to bring everyone back, which caused you to be alone again. You just stayed in the playroom alone playing with barbies or watching a movie. Steve would call you from time to time to check up on you, luckily F.R.I.D.A.Y was a great caretaker and gave you your basic needs. The Avengers were now successful in bringing everyone back. Sadly, Tony had passed away though. You attended his funeral with Steve at your side. You still hadn’t seen Peter yet but did not want to interrupt his grieving since Tony was his main caregiver and mentor. Tony was the only father figure he had and he was just gone. Steve decided it would be best to have you pick a stuffed animal at the store for Peter to keep during this hard time. You decided on a red bear with a gold ribbon on his neck. Steve had the red bear in his hands ready to gift to Peter, while you had a new Pink bear with a white bow around its neck that you named Poppy. Once the funeral was done Steve held your hand to walk up to Peter. He looked so small and in need of someone to care for him. Steve then spoke, “Peter, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I know how you feel and if you need (Y/N) or me, don’t hesitate. (Y/N) thought that she should get you this special bear for you to give you comfort.” He handed Peter the red bear and Peter just hugged it close. Steve knew that he was going to have to take care of Peter and (Y/N) from now on, but he was ready for it. He loved you both dearly. “I hope you like the bear Peter, I thought you would like him since he’s your favorite color. See I have a pink one like yours, we’re twins!” You said trying to distract Peter. Peter rarely ever spoke when he was little, and this wasn’t any different. He eventually accepted your gift with a tight hug as his tears fell on your shoulder. 

Time skip: a couple of months

Peter eventually moved into the tower and got a room next to yours. Steve now had two regressors to take care of now, but at least he had the aid of Bucky who would just baby sit. You were currently in your room putting on one of Steves old shirts with black leggings. His shirts made you feel even smaller since it was so baggy. Steve then quietly knocked on your door for permission to come in. “Yes?” you asked. Steve then opened the door and stepped in with his hand in Peters. Peter had a smile on his face for probably the first time in months. You smiled back and then turned to face Steve who obviously wanted to ask you something. “Are you little right now (Y/N) or are you big because Pete wants to play blocks with you?” Steve asks. You beam and excitedly say, “I wan play blocks! Pete can we make a town wif da blocks and cars and my dollys?” This just caused Peter to run and hug you. You two ran to the next room to play together. Storage containers were quickly opened and blocks were scattered to begin construction on the town. Steve watched you two play from the door with a smile on his face. 

I am sorry this story was everywhere 

[creatingnikki]

What 2020 has taught me

1. Those things that seem like content for sci fi or pure fiction are actually things that can happen. To the entire world. Like a pandemic. And to you. Like a seizure.

2. Everyone is sad. Everyone is struggling. In different ways and in different measures. Makes no one special. But you still get to feel sad for yourself and be compassionate towards others. But it's also okay to draw boundaries because you're everyone too. Remember, not special? You're sad and trying to deal with it too.

3. Every job you have will not add value to your life. It will not teach you new things or give you people you'll want to stay in touch with. Sometimes some jobs will only be a season of your life. Even if the season lasts for over a year. It's okay.

4. You know how you thought picking a college and picking a major and picking your first job and picking a specific industry were all the career decisions you had to make? Yeah, no. It's never a one time thing. You could have a job as a marketing strategist for two years and then want nothing to do with it. And then you'll have to make another decision and work towards it. So I'd like to call it moves. It's like chess. You always have to make a move. And it always has to be strategic, yes. But the truth is in your 20s it probably won't. Even if you try. And as long as you're trying, you'll be fine.

5. You may have different sorts of friends like the one you only talk to about kdrama with or the one you met when you went book shopping alone and the friendship is all about books really. That's normal. But irrespective of why and how you became friends with them, if you consider them a friend then there has to be this basic sense of care, respect and empathy for each other. I don't care what people want to say. If you're faced with the worst trauma of your life, the least your friends can do is check up on you regularly. On text. And if they don't even do that then guess what? They aren't friends. They are acquaintances. Social media and quick promises make everyone seem like your friend. But they are not. They are just nice people who will be nice to you for specific periods and then wander away like you are a speck of dust floating in their journey.

6. You speak a lot and write and you express yourself and you’re emotionally mature but oh my god. You still hold in so much. You’ve known that at a subconscious level and over the last year people - experts - have told you that. You have also realized that you make your pain and sadness about pettier things because dealing with them, admitting about them, sharing that with your friends, is easier. You do that so that you don’t have to deal with the real stuff. Because it’s so damn painful. And you don’t know how to do it. Yet. Acknowledging is the first step anyway right? I know you’re confused about how exactly to let go of all this pain and sadness and feel lighter, and you know that talking to people really isn’t the solution, but I also know you’re smart enough to figure it out. 

7. Talking about being smart...you know you’re different than others. Better. Special. Smarter. None of these are the right words. And you never voiced this out until this year because you knew it would make you come across as narcissistic. Some would say it’s because you’re an INFJ. But my mother once said that this may be the first time we are consciously living life but our souls are old and so our instinct and the things we know but can’t explain are because this isn’t the first time for our souls. The connections we feel with certain people, the reason we are so different from our siblings who grew up in the exact same environment with the exact same opportunities, our sense of right and wrong...it’s all because our souls learn and grow with each time and that’s why we are who we are. I think that’s probably how I can explain what I have always felt. That I am living in a different universe than everybody but I have to pretend to be in this one and dumb my emotions and thoughts down. Maybe that’s because my soul has lived through thousands of years while most around me are living their 100th life. Or maybe I’m just narcissistic, who knows?

8. You shift between talking in first person and second person but that’s because that’s how you think in your head and talk to yourself and live your life. You ask yourself things and you accuse yourself of things and you apologize to yourself and you comfort yourself. I think that seeps into your writing and the changing of the voices. 

9. You always genuinely thought that you’d not be afraid of dying. And then what happened this October proved you shockingly wrong. I know it’s not so much being afraid of dying but the unbearable pain of knowing what that would mean to your family. So you have to be more prudent and less reckless with your life and the choices you make. 

10. Regret is not something that plagued you but this year the realisation and pain of giving away your favourite books from your own personal collection to people you care about as a show of affection and them turning out to be ass holes or losers has hit you so hard. So, yes. No more of that shit. I really fucking want my copy of The Perks Of Being A Wallflower back. UGH. With the childhood picture of me inside it! 

11. Sleeping at 5 am in the morning stops being fun or romanticised when you realise just how much harm it does to your body and mind. Literally every single disease and disorder can be traced back to a shitty fucking sleep schedule. It’s not just the hours you sleep but also the quality of sleep and the time you sleep at. So yes sleeping for 8 hours is healthy but not if that 8 hours is from 5 am to 12 pm. ‘Not a morning person’ is just another construct of capitalism and you don’t realise how many industries profit from having you believe that and staying up late or all night. Entertainment. Food. Alcohol. Pharma. Biologically and naturally you are a bloody morning person. And you don’t need 3 cups of coffee to begin your day or your phone notifications to get you to open your eyes and brain to wake up. 

12. Sometimes you really have to stop taking people so seriously. I know the idea of treating people as casual friends or entertainment makes you want to fight that concept but you know what? Some people like Pineapple are ever only going to be good for that. No matter how much they ‘grow and change’. So keep them in the background for whenever you want some entertainment or drama. But please don’t clear up your busy schedule to meet them or send them gifts on their birthday. 

13. If you don’t have the fruit juice or green juice within half an hour of making it then you are losing out on its most optimum health benefits. Or when you remove the white stringy stuff from oranges. That’s where all the actual nutrients are.

14. I am privileged and so are most of the people I interact with. The global pandemic has been hell for a lot of people around the world. Health wise. Financially. Losing people they care about. But I was blessed enough to be safe at home and have a job that I could smoothly do from home and not have a pay cut or 4-hour long Zoom meetings. So honestly when my friends tell me 2020 has been bad I have to stop and ask them why? Yes, the crippling uncertainty and anxiety is not something that can be undermined. But most people I know had very great positive life-changing milestones this year like moving away to another country for college or taking their first solo trip or getting married. So I have to ask them. Because I am not going to agree that everybody’s 2020 and pandemic narrative is the same. 

15. Money gets spent really quickly. When I left my job earlier this year because of personal issues, I thought I had enough savings to last me a year. Full disclosure - I mean to last my personal expenses because I live with my parents. But it didn’t even last me 3 months. And so to use money wisely and buy things that provide utility than instant gratification is something to follow. Also buying one pair of really expensive but quality shoes is better than buying 5 pairs of affordable but low quality shoes that will have a very short life and force you to buy more. I know that higher price doesn’t always mean better quality but sometimes it does. And as an adult now I want to do the whole quality > quantity thing even with things and not just people. 

16. Everyone in their 20s went through a crisis of what they should do with their lives and their careers and it’s not unique to the 21st century and the challenges of today. Whether it was Vincent Van Gogh in the 19th century or Sylvia Plath in the 20th, every single person, as brilliant as them went through the torture of making these decisions and living with their consequences. You may think I picked wrong examples for they both killed themselves but you know what? They were the people who really want to live more than anyone. They knew what life meant. And maybe if mental health help was more accessible back then their lives would be longer and more peaceful. 

17. Telling people everything is overrated. You don’t have to talk about every single thing that’s on your mind or that’s going on in your life. The good and the bad and the mediocre. You have to be mindful about how much of yourself you’re giving away. 

18. Re-watch Suits when people at work feel intimidating because the confidence + negotiation tactics that they show can actually work irl cos at the end of the day no matter in what position you’re dealing with people who have emotions and fears and insecurities and desires. You understand how to leverage that nobody can get the better of you. 

19. You belong to yourself. No matter how much you love someone or how much they have done for you or how much you owe them - you belong to yourself. You can’t live your life for someone else. Everyone belongs to themselves first. No relationship, no promise, no circumstance should make you feel like you have to give up your life and make it all about them. If and when the time comes to die for them, go ahead. Take a bullet. Donate that kidney. Write them in your will. But live your life for yourself. And let them live theirs. 

20. Twenty three was a challenging year. When it started you claimed the age 23 sounds boring and insignificant. Guess it proved you wrong. It hurt so much now. But that only means you’ll look back on it later and see how it added so much wisdom and resilience to your being. It doesn’t mean that it makes all the bad things that happened to you okay. Or that you should be grateful to them. Fuck no. It means that you should be kinder to yourself because at the end of the day, your mind and body find it in themselves to deal with whatever is thrown their way. They have your back. It’s time you learn to sit straight. 

[jaesqueso]

Hider

pairing: doctor!mark x female!reader

summary: due to the acts of violence and rage slowly taking over the world a new society is built where people DNA’s are altered at birth to stop feeling, with no emotions people live their lives performing the tasks they’re set to do without questioning but a disease is spreading and with no cure how will you deal with it once it catches you?

this is part of the Neo Future collab by @renhyucks​​ ❤︎

word count: 2,849

warnings: angst, this is based of the universe of the 2015 movie ‘Equals’, you don’t need to see the movie to understand so here’s a little glossary:

Collective - the city/community they live in

SOS (Switched-On Syndrome) - the disease that makes people feel again

Health & Safety - organisation that manages the well being of the community

DEN (Defective Emotional Neuropathy Facility) - medical institution

a/n: here it is! this took way too much time and preparation than I expect and even though I’m not 100% happy with it I still think it was fun to do something different! do give me some feedback ❤

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

8:00 am. You wake up as the blinds go up revealing the early sun. You get up and enter the shower.

8:15 am. Already dressed in your work clothes you sit down and eat breakfast, a bowl of milk and cereal.

8:25 am. You close the apartment door and leave the building. You walk the same path as everyday running into the same people.

8:45 am. Entering the building you stand in line to get a cup of coffee, right behind your co-worker Taeil as usual.

9:00 am. As you sit down in your chair you place your hand on the big screen unlocking your station continuing the building design you have been working on for the past week.

12:00 pm. Everybody gets up to go to the cafeteria to get lunch. Seventh in line you grab a tray collecting your food as your turn arrives.

12:10 pm. You sit outside to eat. Around you not only your co-workers but also the staff from Health & Safety, being the building next door.

12:25 pm. Grabbing your now empty tray, you take it inside and return to your desk resuming your work.

5:00 pm. After locking your screen you get up and take the same path back home.

6:30 pm. Already in your pyjamas you sit down to have dinner.

7:00 pm. Before you start playing your usual electronic puzzle game, the regular announcement fills the screen.

This is a message from the Collective. Are you overly tired? Or experiencing increased sensitivity? Maybe you have difficulty concentrating. You may have SOS: Switched On Syndrome. If this is the case please book an appointment at the Health & Safety quarters.

10:00 pm. Tucked in bed you close your eyes and sleep until the next day arrives.

Everyday has the same routine for as long as you can remember. And that’s how it should remain in this meticulously calculated world you live in, any unexpected changes would be a bad sign. So what will you do when that happens?

Another regular day at the office. It’s fifteen past noon and you are outside feeding until you feel something on your hand. You look at it and see a butterfly resting on your ring finger. You should shoo it away and continue eating but it’s keeping you hooked. The gentleness of its little feet in your skin is sending you shivers down your spine. You’ve never felt this before. In reality you shouldn’t feel anything at all, humans are not supposed to feel from the moment they are born. So what is this?

After what felt like hours the small animal flies away and you force yourself back to reality, giving a quick look around. It doesn’t seem like your co-workers noticed anything but… Someone did? A few tables away you swear you saw a man taking his eyes off of you with the corner of his mouth slightly up. Was that a smile? You ignore the thought and finish your meal as you need to return to work soon.

That night for some reason you’re not able to solve the first puzzle you try after dinner. Your head is not focused. Now why would that be? You’re not supposed to be thinking about anything but what you’re doing in the moment. So why does the image of that man keeps popping up in your mind? You decide it’s time to drop the game and go rest.

Yellow and orange merge into your vision. Strong black lines start to appear and as they get further away you see the shape of butterfly wings. The whole thing looks magical and you extend your hand to touch it. The animal flies around and lands on your finger. Before you can admire it further it flutters away in an hypnotic dance. Your eyes follow its every move until it lands in someone else’s hand. You look up and you seem him. The guy from lunch time. His face is serene but then his lips curl up into a smile. A sense of warmth fills your body and a million butterflies fly from behind the man towards you. You wave your arms in front of you trying to protect yourself from what seems like an attack as your throat closes taking your breath away.

Gasping you open your eyes. Sweat runs down your body as you sit on the bed, still panting. You glance at the clock in the wall. 1:27 am. What a weird hour. You get up and walk to the window staring outside but not really focusing on anything. All you could think about was butterflies. And him. Why are you thinking about him? And also what was that right before you wake up?

You’re not able to go back to sleep. It’s like your body just got away from your control and you don’t know how to handle it. Overwhelmed. You heard about it but could this be what it really feels like? After hours of tossing and turning around your apartment you access the electronic screen that pops up in your wall and book an appointment for that morning. You never went to Health & Safety before so you choose a random doctor and head to the bathroom for a cold shower.

Sitting in the waiting room you observe the people around. They all look normal, why are they here? Are they infected?

“Hi.” You look to your left and see a tall slender man sitting next to you.

“Hello.” You greet him.

“What stage are you on?” He asks.

“I’m just here for a check up.” You simply reply.

“Oh ok. Are you scared?” He has what you think might be compassion in his eyes.

“I don’t know.” You really don’t.

“It’s ok, I was scared too when I was diagnosed but it will all be alright.” He faintly smiles.

“What stage are you on?” It’s now your time to question.

“Stage 2.”

Before you can say anything else you hear your name being called as it’s time to head for your appointment. You get up but before walking you turn back to the man.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” He nods your way. “I’m Doyoung by the way. Good luck in there.”

You turn around and head to the doctor’s office. You enter the plain white room and take a sit by the desk. The doctor’s chair is facing the window and a few seconds later it turns to face you.

“Hello, Y/N.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat for a second. It’s him. The guy from your dream. The guy from lunch. He’s a doctor.

“I’m Dr. Lee.” He introduces himself. “I understand you have been experiencing some out of the ordinary symptoms?”

“Yes.” You tell him about your dream, but skip the part were he was in it, you just say it was a man you’ve never seen before.

“Let’s test you for SOS.” He gets up and walks around the table.

When he holds your arm your heart beats faster. He takes out the testing device and holds it against your skin. You furrow your eyebrows as you feel a burning sensation.

“Your test is positive Y/N.” He lifts his gaze from the device to your eyes. “You’re only in stage 1. I’d like to start you on Inhibitors immediately. You should be able to live a normal life.”

“How can I live normally knowing I’m infected? Is this contagious?”

“It’s not contagious. And don’t worry, you can live with it.”

As you exit the building you take a deep breath. How can this be happening to you? And what is it with this guy? Why does your life suddenly revolve around him?

You go back to work making a lame excuse as to why you had to go to the doctor, some looked convinced others not so much.

After work you go pick up your prescription for the Inhibitors and as you’re leaving the counter you see a familiar figure turning the corner to a secluded section. You don’t exactly know why but you follow him, maintaining your distance so he doesn’t notice you. He doesn’t seem to be going home and you just want to know more. Could this be curiosity?

He walks into the park heading to a zone where there are mostly genetically altered trees and nobody ever goes there. Suddenly he looks around as if checking if somebody is watching him and you quickly hide behind a wall.

When you look back again he goes deeper into the trees and you step closer. You start to hear what looks like a whimper and as it gets closer and closer you finally spot Dr Lee seating on the ground with his back against a tree and his hands on his face. Is he crying?

Taking another step closer you accidentally step on a branch making a noise and his face turns your way. Luckily you were able to hide behind a tree next to you and make a sneaky escape back to your apartment.

As you close the door you lean against it and let your body slowly descend to the floor. Your heart was beating as fast as it ever did. Was this the so called adrenaline you’ve heard about?

Later that evening you stare into the glass of Inhibitors in front of you. Taking one you grab a glass of water gulping down the whole thing. As the pill goes down your throat you think about him again. His behaviour is quite weird. The light smile in the lunch, the small hints of compassion in your appointment, crying in the park… Could he be? No, that’s not possible. He is a member of Health & Safety, they would know. Right?

The following day you spot him during lunch again. You need to talk to him. You just need to know. When he gets up you follow even if your tray is almost full.

“Dr Lee?” You call.

“Y/N.” Turning around you can see a little spark in his eyes.

“Can I ask you a question?” You request.

“Of course.” He says after looking around making sure no one was nearby.

“Are you perhaps…” You pause not really sure if you should ask this. “Infected too?”

His eyes slightly widen and a single drop of sweat runs down the side of his face.

“I am a doctor, Y/N. That wouldn’t be possible.” He says trying to mask how nervous he got.

“But-” You try to refute but he interrupts you.

“Please. If you have any medical doubts you can book an appointment.” And with that he goes away.

The way he reacted, there’s no way he isn’t infected too. For the next few days you observed his behaviour from afar, he really did a good job hiding his SOS, only someone who had it too would know. You were as carefully as possible but he noticed you. He noticed how you followed him home everyday and barely ate your lunch to watch him eat his.

One day, as you turn the corner to his house you trip on your feet as he stands there looking at you.

“Come with me.” He turns and enters the building leaving the door open for you to follow.

You carefully walk behind him, keeping some distance. Hesitantly you step into his apartment and close the door. It’s pitch black inside with only the neon blue building lights entering through the window.

“Dr Lee?” You call out.

“It’s Mark.” You suddenly turn around as the voice comes from behind you.

“Mark.” You repeat as if to memorise it.

“Yes I have SOS.” He confesses. “But you already knew that. I know you’ve been watching me.”

“Apologies, I was just trying to understand.” You lower your head.

“It’s ok, I was the one that lied to you.” He sighs.

“Why?” You look up at him again.

“I’m a hider.” He simply says.

“What is that?” You innocently ask.

“I know I have SOS but I haven’t being diagnosed. There are a few of us.” He explains. “We don’t want to take medication and would rather live our lives like this to avoid being sent to the DEN.”

“Is that an option?” You furrow your eyebrows as he never told you about this before.

“No. That’s why we need to hide. Hide our symptoms. Hide our feelings.” He steps closer. “But it has been hard to do that when you’re around me all the time.”

“How so?” You gulp.

“You give me butterflies.” Through the little light in the room you can see the corner of his lip going up.

“Butterflies?” You look confused.

“That’s what we call it when we get nervous.” He steps even closer almost touching you.

“I think you give me butterflies too.” You almost whisper. “But I’m scared.”

“I’m scared too.” He whispers back.

He moves his hand forward gently touching yours. His touch is warm and you move your hand to feel his too. Moving up you caress his arm all the way to his neck as his hands feel your back. Next up is his cheek as your faces move closer. You both giggle as your noses gently brush against each other. You close your eyes when you feel his breath mixing with yours as your lips unite. This is nothing like you’ve ever felt before. Unconsciously your mouths move as they were meant to be linked as one. You spend the rest of the night in the darkness of his apartment discovering each others touch.

From that night on you decide to meet in secret. You stopped taking your Inhibitors and learned how to fake the normal emotionless state.

8:12 am. You wake up and smile. You are happy.

8:27 am. After rushing shower and breakfast you exit your apartment and head to work.

8:41 am. On your way you stop by the great hall as people gather in front of a large projection to listen to the latest news.

The following message is an update on SOS. Health & Safety has successfully developed Ashby ENI, a cure for our threatening disease. The ENI will be required for those diagnosed or suffering from SOS. Mandatory SNS tests will begin immediately for all Health & Safety officials as well as all medical professionals.

Your heart is almost pounding off your chest and you know you have to talk to Mark before they get to you and before they find out he is infected too. You know it’s too risky to go to the Health & Safety quarters so instead you go to his apartment. You wait all day and end up falling asleep on the floor.

As you hear the door opening you wake up and instantly run to him evolving your arms around his body.

“Y/N.” He says before gently releasing himself from your embrace.

You worriedly look at his face but then your eyes advert to his neck. You gasp as you see the round small bandage right bellow his ear.

“No…” You whisper.

“They forced me to take the test right in the morning.” Mark lowers his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I was already in stage 4. They immediately took me to get the ENI and my medical licence is suspended until they’re sure I’m ok.”

“Mark.” You caress his cheeks cleaning his tears as yours drench your face.

“They say it should be 12 hours until it has effect.”

“How much time do we have?” You ask even though you’re not sure you want the answer.

“About 3 hours.” He lets himself sink into your arms again.

“You gotta fight it Mark.” You hold him tight. “Feel my heart beating for you, I know yours beats for me too!”

“I want to, but I can feel it take over me.” He cries.

“Look at me.” You grab his face. “We’re stronger than this. You’re going to make it!”

“And then what?” His voice is desperate. “They know you’re infected, they’ll force the cure on you too!”

“We’ll worry about that later ok?” You try to remain strong. “Let’s focus on you now.”

You take him to his bed and lay down by his side. Bringing your bodies together you fall asleep in each other’s embrace whispering ‘I love you’s’.

As the first rays of sunshine hit your face your eyes are forced open. You turn to the side but he’s not there.

“Mark?” You call feeling a tightness in your chest.

“Good morning.” He appears.

“How…” You don’t know how to ask. “Are you ok?”

“Normal.” He says in a monotone voice and your world comes crumbling down.

“Do you still love me?” Tears fill your eyes.

“I know I loved you.”

You expect to see the corner of his mouth curl up in a smile like all those times before. But there’s nothing. You stare at the shell of the man you love.

“But I don’t feel anything anymore.”

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

taglist: @yokshi-unbeliebubble​​​ @nc-teen​​​ @yutahoes​​​​ @dimplehyunn​​​

[itsstrange]

Coffee Run & Green Eyes

Series: Spark Between Us

Relationship: Jensen Ackles x Skyline McNoir (OFC)

A/N: Hey everyone! I know it’s been a long time and I apologize for those waiting for more stories, but if you follow me on IG then you would know that this last week I was struck with a stomach flu which caused me to not have enough energy for various things. Luckily, I’ve recovered and feel much better. I also want to apologize to those who have requested me some stories, don’t worry I have Not forgotten about you! Just been dealing with some things!

But!! To not keep you guys in the dark I decided to post a Series I wrote for Ao3 on here, just to give y’all something to read meanwhile I work on some other works for y’all!! Hope y’all enjoy it!

Another thing, we have hit 105 followers y’all!!!! Thank you so much for all the love y’all continue in giving me!! I appreciate it so much!! 🥲💚

✨{Credits to owner for the gif}✨

Summary: Skyline McNoir tags along with a few friends who are attending a convention of some show she’s never watched. Little did she know, she would fall head over heels for the lead actor.

Word Count: 2.4 K

Warnings: Will contain Fluff, public sex, alcohol consumption, public fingering, just pure NSFW for all you Jensen fans out there 😊

————

ENJOY!!

————

The blasting chorus of Follow Me Now by Jason Gleed, wakes Skyline up. Her Hazel eyes glare straight ahead at the coconut cream wall for a few seconds before bringing the cover above her head, trying to muffled the music. Which didn’t help. At all. Then to make the morning less fun, her bed begins to shake violently by her best friend who’s jumping up down awhile singing at the top of her lungs. Skyline groans into the covers and tries to bury herself deeper into the warmth, but before she can even hide, the covers are being shoved off her form. A shiver runs throughout her body from the coldness in the room.

“C’mon Sky! Today’s the day!” Erin yells as she hovers above,

Skyline groans once again, eyes closed shut when it’s far too bright in the room “Five more minutes,”

“No come on,” Erin says, slightly pushing Sky’s body with her foot, “Tiffany and Laila are already downstairs grabbing breakfast,”

Still not moving, Erin shoves her body once again with her foot, when that didn’t do the trick an evil smirk spreads on her face. Grabbing an unused pillow, she raises it above her head before roughly slamming it against Sky’s head, causing her to jerk upright. With sleep still in her eyes, Sky is only able to squint at her best friend.

“Erin! What the fu-,” Her words were cut off when a large pillow smacks her in the face,

Erin chuckles at her, ignoring the death stare as she hops off her bed, “Chop chop.. we got a busy day today!”

With a roll of her eyes and a loud groan, Sky rolls off the comforter and towards the bathroom. After taking care of her regular morning routines, she hops in the shower. Erin’s music still blasted through the speakers, as Sky took a quick shower and she honestly hoped none of their neighbors complained about their disturbance, she knew she would have if she was trying to get a few more hours of shut eye.

That’s all she ever really wanted at the moment, sleep. After months of studying, exams, piles upon piles of work, and busting all nighters she was finally in winter break. The feeling of being able to come home for the holidays and spending those days with her family sounded amazing and relaxing. However, after the second day of being home, she gets a call from Erin. Mentioning something about having another extra ticket for a convention to meet the cast of some show she’s never watched. She kindly declined the offer, wanting to spend her days off with her family sounded like a much better idea than meeting unknown actors. However, Sky often forgets Erin is not the type to take no for an answer and demanded her to hand the phone over to her mother.

Thinking her mother would defend her and find a way to convince Erin to try and find someone else to take to the convention, Sky hands the phone over to her mother. You can only imagine who won that argument.

Once out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her body, Sky heads out the bathroom and towards her duffel bag. In the winter season of Austin, Texas, she decides on a plain long sleeve, black jeans, grey hoodie, black boots on her feet with a leather jacket on top. Once her hair is made and adds a couple splashes of makeup on her face, she grabs her phone and book from the small counter as she follows Erin out the room. After a few minutes later, they finally arrive in the breakfast buffet where Tiffany and Laila are already stuffing themselves with waffles and eggs. With a yawn, Sky makes her way over to the buffet with Erin right behind her. Once they both get their plates and sit down on the table, they dig in before getting on with their day.

****

8:45 am

“Oh my god!! I just hugged Speight!!” The sound of Laila coming around the corner interrupts Sky from her book,

The sight of Laila bouncing up and down on her feet with a wide grin makes a small chuckle escape from Skyline. As her friends beamed over this Speight guy, Sky returns her focus down on her book. Not really paying much attention at their excitement, but still having a smile on her lips as she reads the next chapter in her book. Even if she’s not having the same excitement as her friends, she is still having fun with them. Being around them in general for whatever reason always brightens her day. No matter how rough of a day she’s seems to be having, her girls always know just how to distract her and make her have fun.

“Ohh it’s almost time for Osric’s panel,” Tiffany says while looking down at her phone,

No longer able to focus on her book, Sky marks her spot before getting up from the floor.

“You guys go in, I’ve got auto’s for Kim at nine,”

It’s barely nine in the morning? Jesus. Sky thinks to herself, the day has felt extremely long she could have sworn it was already noon.

“Okay, let’s go Sky,” Laila motions her head to the side for her to follow,

“If you guys want me to continue tagging along, I’m gonna need an espresso,” Sky states, feeling yet another yawn creeping up her throat,

Her friends chuckle at her but agreed with her idea. They wouldn’t want her dragging her feet all over the convention, besides, coffee did sound like a great idea. Once writing down their preferred drinks in her notes, Sky leaves through the doors, down the steps and towards a coffee shop not too far away. It was only a couple blocks away, she should make it back in no time. Hugging her jacket closer to her body when the wind picks up, Sky quickens her movements to avoid its freezing weather but careful to not slip on the wet pavement. The last thing she needs is to fall flat on her ass, better yet get a concussion or go back home with a broken wrist.

Boy would her mom faint if she saw her daughter in a cast. Will most likely give her a lecture on why it’s important not to be on the phone during the most worst seasons. ‘If you weren’t on the phone this wouldn’t have happened Skyline’. Yep. She can definitely hear her ranting.

After a few blocks in the harsh winds, Skyline is finally reaching the small little coffee joint. Just as she reaches for the handle of the door, another, large, hand reaches at the same time. Thick fingers slightly touching her own, making her pull back with an apology.

“No it’s fine go ahead,” A deep voice says beside her, letting a shiver run down her body,

Most likely from the weather, what else would it be?

She looks up at the man. Dark beard, shades on his face, black hat on his head, with a black T-Shirt underneath a checkered navy flannel and black Levi’s jacket. Even under the dark shades she can tell he was good looking, handsome in fact.

“No you can go ahead,” Sky smiles at the man, stepping aside for him to enter,

He only shakes his head, gripping the door handle as he opens it for her, “Please I insist, my mom would throw a fit if she finds out I didn’t show my manners,”

Sky chuckles at him, “Well we wouldn’t want that now,”

The man chuckles back, smile forming on his lips. Man did that smile just make her stomach flip.

“No, we really wouldn’t,” Chuckling once more at him she accepts the offer with a thanks before entering the coffee shop,

As she walks inside, the change of temperature immediately hits her cold cheeks. Almost as if a heating furnace was suddenly shoved in her face, but she wasn’t complaining, the warmth was needed. Walking further into the coffee shop, she takes a glance over her shoulder to see if the man was behind her, but only lets a smile appear when she catches the moment of him allowing an elderly couple enter before him.

That’s sweet. She thinks to herself as she walks up to the counter. Once her drinks have been ordered and paid, she heads over to a small empty table near the window. Sitting on the chair she pulls out her book and continues where she left off as she waits for her drinks. A few minutes had passed and Sky was too engrossed in her book to notice her name being called out by the barista. Eventually though, she comes back to reality when someone places her drink in front her. Looking up from her book she meets eyes with bright emerald orbs, and noticing those breathtaking eyes belong to the same man from the door.

“I’m guessing your Skyline?,” The way her name rolls off his deep voice sends a shiver down her spine,

Definitely can’t be the air this time, absolutely not.

Eyeing the cup of coffee in front of her, she lifts a eyebrow at the man, teasing him. Even if she sees her name written on the side of the cup.

“And what makes you think that?” The way his lips slightly lift causes something to flip in her stomach,

Again.

“Well.. seeing how there’s hardly folks in here,” He looks around the shop for a few seconds before landing his eyes on hers again, “and you being the only one sitting down without a coffee.. I took a guess,”

Sky hums with a smile as she takes the cup, “Nice deduction,”

He shrugs a shoulder with a smile, “This seat taken?”

Sky shakes her head as she takes careful sips from her drink. With a small smile the man pulls out the chair with his other free hand, seeing how he has a cup of his own in one hand.

“I’m Ross by the way,” The man extends a hand once seated,

With a smile Sky accepts his hand, feeling it warm and rough as it wraps around her own.

“Nice to meet you,” Still smiling she pulls away from his firm hand,

“You around from here or just passing through?” He asks, taking careful sips from his cup,

Sky softly smiles at him as she wraps her hands around her coffee, trying to warm up her fingers.

“Born and raised,” He raises a brow at the small fact,

“No kidding?”

She nods, “Yeah but I’m just home for the holidays,”

He hums with a nod, “In the army or something?”

Sky couldn’t help the chuckle that escapes from her, definitely noticing how the corner of the mans lips slightly lift as well.

“More like college. My last year,”

“Really? What’re you studying?” He asks, taking another sip, never letting his eyes drift from her Hazel ones,

But does notice how they dart down towards his mouth before quickly looking back up to his eyes. A small smirk hides behind the cup, but doesn’t hide it when he pulls it away from his face.

“Biology,” He hums once again with a sincere smile, making her stomach flip,

It was such an odd feeling, especially when it was coming directly from a man she hardly knows. But for some reason, it felt right. Their conversations switched from topic to topic, never faltering. It just felt right, as if they were long time friends catching up with each other instead of two strangers who just met. Eventually, their conversation was cut short with the barista calling out her name once again with the rest of her drinks.

Getting up from her seat she walks over to the counter where her drinks waited. As she grabbed a cup holder and begins placing her drinks in each space, Ross, settles next to her. Getting a whiff of his cologne. Leaning on the counter he had both his and her coffee in either hand, which he hands over with a smile once all coffees were safely secured in place.

“I should get going,” She smiles up at his green orbs, and only then noticing how freckles are splashed on his face,

This man was literally dashing, no doubt about it.

“Yeah same here,” He says looking down at his watch, “Need a ride?”

She shakes her head with a smile, “I’m good thanks,”

“You sure? Heard it might rain,” He continues to lean on the counter as she places her coffee in an empty slot of the holder,

“I’m sure, it’s just a few blocks from here,”

“Well it can rain from those few blocks,” He argues as he gives her a smile, not wanting to end their little moment,

Neither did she, but she had friends waiting and the moment she tells them the reason why she took a little longer than expected, they wouldn’t leave her alone until she gives them the whole shebang.

She lets a small chuckle escape her lips as she picks up the coffees, “I’ll make a run for it,”

He softly chuckles at her comment, green eyes staring straight into her Hazel orbs that have slightly turned grey from her sweater. Definitely finding her and her eyes fascinating and beautiful.

“It was nice meeting you Ross,” She smiles at him as she walks away,

He smiles as he watches her, sending her a wave goodbye when she looks over her shoulder before walking out the door. Watching her leave didn’t feel like a loss, it felt the complete opposite actually. Why? Well for starters, he knew it wouldn’t be the last time he saw her considering she had the all too familiar Creation Entertainment wristband on her left hand. Also, he had her book inside his jacket, another reason on why he would see her again.

Both to retrieve her book and to have a reason to see her again. Don’t get him wrong, he was actually going to give it to her before she left, but the thought of holding it and having a reason to see her again sounded like great idea. He wanted to see her again, wanted to have a conversation longer than 10 minutes and just wanted to get to know her. She was different, in a good way, absolutely in a good way. The way she seemed to not know him or maybe she did but simply did not care made him feel relaxed, made him feel somewhat normal and he would give anything to feel that way again.

Even if it meant “stealing” her book to have an excuse to see her again.

PART 2

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-Hope y’all enjoyed this first part of the series!! Stay tuned for random updates for ‘Spark Between Us’ I won’t give an announcement on when I’ll update it so keep your eyes peeled on it!!

-Turn on Post Notifications!! 🔔 For more!!

————

[bo0zey]

my friend who doesn’t have adhd and just wants an adderall perscription: i definitely have adhd like i never pay attention and i’m such a procrastinator omg lol btw i’m at the library studying and doing homework that’s not due until 3 days ugh what are you doing have you started studying yet we have those worksheets due tomorrow remember and it’s already 6pm! omg what do u mean u haven’t started the paper yet it’s literally due in 3 hrs omg no it’s ok i’ll just send u mine bc i’ve been working on it all day haha and omg i’m trying to pay attention to the lecture can u stop talking to me why r u reading online manga in class the exam is in 2 days pay attention! also i need caffeine to stay awake i love monster energy drinks they work so well i won’t be able to sleep tonight oh no also i took adderall 3hrs ago and now i’m super anxious but it’s not the adderall lol ugh i won’t be able to sleep tonjght ughh

me, someone who actually has adhd, pre-diagnosis: studying is so hard and i don’t want to do it and i literally can’t until hours before the exam and by then i’m so exhausted bc it’s like 3am but if i drink coffee or monster or bang i just get sleepier also i procrastinate entire research papers including the research hours before the due date even tho i knew abt the paper for a month and i wrote it in my assignment notebook every day knowing i needed to do it and i drink coffee before bed bc it relaxes me n makes me sleepy im constantly moving and shifting in my seat in class and i got paid 4 hrs ago and bought $500 worth of amazon products and now i don’t have any money for groceries for the next 2 weeks my thoughts go so fast and they’re so loud i can’t follow a conversation let alone a class lecture paying attention to anything i don’t care abt but am supposed to is impossible if i don’t write everything i need to do down i will forget about it and if i put my keys or vape or anything somewhere besides it’s designated spot for 1 minute i will literally forget where it is and if something isn’t directly in my line of sight i will forget i have it so i have to place everything in my line of sight for me to remember to use it and ok i’m at work i have a 14hr shift and a set of tasks i need to complete omg i’m so overwhelmed and frazzled i write down the list of tasks every shift and check off boxes to remember to do things but even then i still fall behind and why am i overwhelmed i know what i have to do please don’t ask me to do that thing i’m already trying to remember to do one thing ahhh ok i’m so exhausted it’s 12am and everyone’s asleep i have 3hrs left of my shift omg i’m so bored and tired ok i will have coffee and an energy drink to wake up bc i don’t wanna fall asleep here and i have an hour drive back home and oh wow i am now driving on the way and dozing off i am so sleepy sleepy sleepy why can’t i stay i awake i had 300mg of caffeine like 2hrs ago i’m going to crash the car why isn’t this energy drink working and hmm ok it’s now monday night i have school tmrw it’s 11pm i guess i’ll try n sleep i have class at 9am oh wait what is this sudden wakefulness i feel i am very awake i think i will maybe try to do homework to get tired actually no i think i will go on the internet instead hmm look at those cool show i think i will watch it ugh ok that was the longest 30min of my life i will not be able to watch another episode for at least 2 days probably oh it’s 3am i need to sleep but i can’t shut my brain off ugh oh no this sucks i hate myself why can’t i just get my shit together i know what i have to do but i just can’t fucking do it it’s so frustrating i’m trying so hard but i keep self sabotaging why why why

me, after being diagnosed w adhd and starting medication: wow for the first time in 8 years i’m actually paying attention in class and actively following what my professor is saying. i think i will do some homework now so i am not overwhelmed later. uh oh my dishes are starting to stack up i think i will clean them instead of starting a new pile. hmm my room is getting a little messy i think i will put things away including the clean clothes on that chair i’d been avoiding putting away for a week. i am following our conversation and i will wait until you are finished until it is my turn to speak instead of blurting out or interrupting you. oh i just got paid! hmm do i really need all of that online shopping stuff..? i think i will wait for a little bit and come back to it if i rlly want it bc what if something happens during the week and i need money to pay for it? oh i have to go to work it’s a 14hr shift; i am able to complete the tasks i need to do with ease bc i know what to do and when to do them and am no longer overwhelmed. i don’t need to drink that energy drink bc i know it will just make me more sleepy and i’ll doze off at the wheel on the highway and i don’t want that! ok i’m home yawn i think i will try n go to sleep it’s 11pm and i am genuinely tired.

[in-superbloom]

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)

right where you left me: prologue

pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)

warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!

author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)

another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3

credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.

i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚

@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤

i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡

let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡

word count: 4.1k

☆☆☆

Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.

Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.

Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.

Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.

As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).

When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.

Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.

Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?

The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).

Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.

She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.

Alright, someone's in a mood.

Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.

“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.

Still, no reaction.

That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.

When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.

Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.

“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”

Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.

“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.

Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.

“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.

Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.

A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.

“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.

“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.

Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.

While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?

She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.

The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.

She knows what's wrong with it now.

It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.

Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?

☆ ☆ ☆

Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.

The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.

“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.

That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.

It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.

That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.

As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.

While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.

So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.

Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.

He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.

Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.

He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.

Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.

Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.

Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.

Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.

A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.

“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.

Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.

“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.

“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”

Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.

“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”

“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.

“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.

“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”

“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.

“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”

Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.

Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?

Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.

God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.

Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.

Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.

Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.