#please refrain from any negative comments

[navybrat817]

Ladies and Gentlemen

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Female Reader Summary: Bucky reflects on you and your date the morning after. Word Count: Over 1.9k Warnings: Tension, flirting, brief moments of insecurity, implied sexy times, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Graphics talent and thanks: Banner by @sgt-seabass. Divider by @firefly-graphics. Bucky edit by Nix. Moodboard by yours truly. Previous Part of AU: Technically Innocent and Sinful, but posted part is Sundresses and Leather A/N: A bit more Hottie and Sugar from our Sin on Skin AU and you voted to go to his place! ❤️ I realize that I've skipped over Innocent and Sinful for now, but I really wanted to showcase Bucky and his feelings regarding the date and you. Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby (thank you for spitballing), but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky hummed to himself as he made breakfast, doing his best to move quietly around the kitchen. He normally only hummed along to the radio in his car, which you discovered during your date the night before, but he couldn’t help himself today. He was happy. He had a spring in his step he hadn’t realized was missing.

Turns out, the thing he was missing was you.

“So. My place or yours?”

Tiptoeing back to his bedroom, Bucky saw you asleep peacefully in his bed. It was a sight he could get used to. Your gentle breathing and serene expression brought a small smile to his face as he leaned against the doorframe. When he woke up earlier with you in his arms he feared for a moment that he was dreaming again, like he had in his shop. But when he placed a kiss on your forehead and received a sleepy moan in response, he knew it was real.

So was the night before.

Bucky held back a groan as some of the images of the two of you together replayed in his mind, his eyes closing and only serving to enhance what he was already thinking about. He wanted to be a gentleman to you. He tried. After your last prick of a boyfriend, you sure as hell deserved that. Which was one of the reasons he was making you breakfast, as tempted as he was to climb back in bed and wake you.

Told you I’d take care of you, Sugar.

You opened up to and for him so beautifully. You were nothing short of an angel. His angel. His Sugar. It was crazy to think like that after one date, but there was something there and that was before he took you out. And you already planned what the next two dates would be, which he was looking forward to.

Even if our first date didn’t go as planned.

It turned out for the best. Even better than he could’ve imagined. He refrained from leaving a negative review online at that restaurant for mixing up his reservation, which was a blessing in disguise. The place was far from his style, but he saw it as a chance to impress you when his other plans fell through. He should’ve known better and gone with his instinct to take you to a place like Antonia’s from the start.

The smile slipped from his face as he remembered you talking about your mom, his fists lightly clenching. If he ever had the chance to meet her, he’d have a hard time staying silent about how she treated you. As if you sensed the sudden tension rise within him, you shifted closer to his side of the bed and rubbed the spot with your hand. The sight soothed him. For you to tell him something so vulnerable, to trust him, gave him a glimpse of how strong you truly were. Because it took strength to open up and stay kind when others tried to knock you down.

I’ll catch you.

Silently dashing back to the kitchen so he didn’t burn anything on the stove, he pushed the thought of your mom out of his mind as he finished up. He wasn’t going to focus on the negatives today. Not when he had you at his place. Maybe he could convince you to stick around for a bit after breakfast if you didn’t have plans.

Before he had a chance to wake you, someone knocked three times on the front door.

Steve.

He wondered if the noise woke you as he glanced down the hall, but he didn’t hear any movement as he headed toward the door and yanked it open before Steve could knock again. Sure enough, his best friend had his fist closed and ready. “Not dressed?” he asked as he lowered his arm.

With a shrug, Bucky glanced down at himself. “I’m wearing sweatpants,” he said, which he only put on to cook for you. “What are you doing here? It’s my day off.”

“Is that how you greet your best friend, jerk? After I came all the way over here?” He asked, looking back and forth as he pushed his way inside. “You weren’t answering your phone and you usually don’t sleep this late.”

“Come on in, punk. And don’t act like you drove across town to see me. We live in the same building,” Bucky said sarcastically as he shut the door. “So because I didn’t answer my phone on my day off, you decided to come over? Really? You’re spying, which you’re terrible at because you’re a terrible liar.”

The blonde pushed his hair back as his gaze swept the apartment. “I’m not spying, but come on. You have to tell me something. Jake and Hal won’t shut up in the group chat. Even Andy asked about your date and you’ve ignored everyone,” he argued, following Bucky to the kitchen.

Bucky couldn’t find it in himself to feel annoyed at Steve showing up or at the rest of the guys for wanting to know how the night went. They looked out for and supported each other. The fact that they all liked you made them root for the two of you more. “I wasn’t trying to ignore you guys,” he said, not saying he didn’t answer anyone since he was preoccupied with you.

“So, how did it go?” Steve asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

Perfect because it was with Sugar.

“Minus getting rained on and the restaurant screwing up the reservation, just fine,” he said, giving a quick rundown of some of the details. He left out the heart-to-heart conversation in your bakery. Steve was his best friend, but that wasn’t any of his business.

“It didn’t go the way you wanted to, but it was ‘just fine’? Judging by that smile on your face, I take it the date went well,” Steve said.

Very well.

Bucky managed not to smirk as he set out two coffee mugs. “A gentleman never tells. Now do me a favor and get the hell out of my apartment. My breakfast is getting cold.”

“I know you have an appetite, but this much food?” Steve said, nodding to the two plates. “Considering I showed up unannounced and you already had two plates out, I’m guessing you weren’t planning on feeding me.”

“Mmm. Something smells delicious. Oh! Hi, Steve.”

Bucky sucked in a breath when he turned his head and drank in the sight of you. You had a sleepy expression on your face, which was adorable, but it was the fact that you were wearing one of his shirts that made his heart stop in his chest. You toyed with the hem as you smiled, your gaze on him and not on Steve. He wondered if it would be too much to ask you to wear one of his shirts while you worked in the bakery.

I can have a dress made out of one of my shirts, right?

“Good to see you.” Steve smirked before he looked at his friend. “A gentleman never tells, huh?”

Bucky allowed himself to smirk this time. “I didn’t say a word.”

“Oh, he’s very much a gentleman,” you said as you joined Bucky and slid an arm around his waist. His arm instinctively went around your back, his fingers gently touching you through the fabric. “He’s also a sorcerer. Or maybe a magician. I’m not sure which.”

Steve’s brows furrowed as he glanced at Bucky. “You’re a what?”

“Well,” you said slowly, biting your lip before you looked at Bucky. “There’s this magical thing he does with his tongue where-”

The blonde held a hand up to stop you. “And that’s my cue to leave.”

Yeah, because my cue of telling you to leave wasn’t enough, Punk. Now go so I can do that thing with my tongue again.

“Told you a gentleman never tells,” Bucky stated, pulling you closer by the waist. It amazed him how perfectly you two fit together. “I never said anything about my girl speaking.”

Your eyes lit up at the small endearment, making his heart race. “Should I tell him about your massive-”

“Text me later!” Steve said, giving you a small smile before he quickly showed himself out.

Bucky chuckled when the door shut. “Don’t let his modest act fool you. He’s far from innocent,” he joked. Steve respected women though.

“I think he was trying to act like a gentleman for my sake,” you teased. “And if Tess knew where you lived, she probably would’ve shown up, too.”

With a chuckle, he nodded in agreement. “How’d you sleep? I would’ve stayed in bed with you, but I wanted to make you breakfast.”

Are you sore? Do I need to take care of you?

“I slept very well, thank you. And breakfast in bed sounds like the perfect way to start the day,” you said, touching his cheek. He could stay wrapped up in bed with you all day if you'd let him. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Best night of sleep I’ve had since I can remember,” he answered honestly, his eyes soft as a full blown smile spread across your face.

You leaned in to brush your lips against his before you stopped yourself, some of the light fading from your eyes. “Sorry. I haven’t brushed my teeth and my breath probably stinks-”

Bucky closed the gap to kiss your lips. He didn’t care if you brushed your teeth or not. “Taste sweet to me, Sugar,” he whispered, taking possession of your mouth again to leave you breathless. He wanted to taste every part of you and sweep away any insecurities or doubts that tried to take over.

You pulled away to take a breath. “Keep kissing me like that and I won’t eat this breakfast you worked so hard on.”

“Did you purposely say ‘hard on’?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you. “And I don’t mind feeding you my-”

You covered his mouth with your hand, giggling. “Don’t you dare say what I think you’re going to say.”

He licked his lips when you moved your hand away. “I was going to say I don’t mind feeding you my food,” he told you with a blank expression since he couldn’t feign innocence. “You’re a dirty girl for jumping to conclusions.”

“I’m not a dirty girl. I’m a lady,” you protested, inhaling sharply as he began to back you up against the counter.

“You look good in my shirt. Really good,” he said, his voice gravelly and low as he flexed his fingers on your hips. “Tell me to stop, Sugar. I already wore you out once and you need to eat so you have your strength.”

Because I want to ruin you all over again.

“So I have my strength? You sure I didn’t wear you out, Hottie?” You questioned.

He found himself laughing as you tilted your chin up. Not at you. Never at you. No, it was that happiness creeping back in at how the two of you fell in sync. The banter, the ease. He wished you could see yourself through his eyes and feel what he did.

He’d continue to find ways to show you how special you were.

“How about we agree that we wore each other out? I think that’s what happened.”

You gave him a single nod. “Looking forward to us wearing each other out again.”

Me, too, Sugar. Me, too.

He's a dream, isn't he? Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[headcanonenthusiast]

COD characters x virgin reader headcanons

This was made with gender-neutral readers in mind. (For most of them, anyway. Valeria's is fem leaning, but everyone else is neutral.)

This will include König, Simon Riley, Valeria Garza, Rodolfo Parra, Alejandro Vargas, Alex Keller and Kyle Garrick.

Yall I accidentally uploaded this when it was halfway done TWICE and in my panic to delete it the first time, I didn't copy everything 😭😭 I'm crying rn/j

Anyways it's a very snowy day, I'm all nice and bundled up, so it's time to write >:)

(I completely understand that this type of content is not everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok! But, please scroll and ignore if this type of content isn't your thing as opposed to leaving any sort of negative comments.)

NSFW under the cut.

Enjoy!

Alejandro Vargas

-Romantic? Romantic. Let me tell you that every part of your first time with him is so passionate and romantic, it's nearly like a fairytale.

-He won't just dive right in, nononono, like I said, he's a romantic lover. Therefore, to "set the mood", he's either taking you out to a fancy restaurant or cooking dinner for you.

-Then, he's going to give you plenty of foreplay to ensure that you're ready.

-Very passionate sex. Tries his best to go slower for your sake, but something about him being the one taking your virginity raises his ego by 500%.

-"Thats it, mi chula/o (My girl/boy). Just relax, let me make you feel good."

-Will still be sure to leave hickeys on you, though, even if it is your first time.

-In his mind, his hickeys are proof that you're his.

-"There we go, that's better. You look so gorgeous/handsome covered with hickeys."

-Chuckles softly in your ear if you complain about the hickeys. He'll kiss you apologetically and refrain from leaving them. (this time, anyway.)

-Oh, and he refuses to edge you during your first time. He's actually determined to make you cum at least twice. If he hasn't, he's failed you.

-Aftercare includes you being bedbound at least until noon the next day. Alejandro does NOT want you straining yourself, even if you aren't sore. He'll get whatever you want, whether it's food, drink or the remote. The only time you're getting out of bed is to shower, which he'll insist on joining you for.

Valeria Garza

-Really? She's your first choice? Praying for you rn my friend/j

-Okay in all seriousness, as rough as she is during sex, she'll do her best to be gentle. Doesn't want your intro to sex to be a bad/painful one.

-Just because she's being gentler than normal doesn't mean she still isn't gonna boss you around, though. Will ALWAYS be on top, no matter what.

-"Stay still, stay still. You're basically asking me to make it hurt. Is that what you want, hm? To make it fucking hurt?"

-If you listen to her (God forbid if you don't), she'll nod in approval and press a kiss to your clit.

-"There we go, corazón (sweetheart). It's not that hard to listen to me, now is it?"

-If you don't listen to her however, she'll go a bit harder with her strap/fingers. Not as hard as she normally would, but you'll probably be pretty overstimulated.

-"Don't start with that bullshit. I told you to listen to me. If only you had behaved yourself like I asked. Dios, eres imposible (God, you're impossible.), not obeying me yet getting all whiney when I punish you for it."

-Surprisingly doesn't edge you, even if you haven't been listening. In fact, she encourages you to cum on her fingers/strap.

-"Shit, you're gonna cum? You wanna cum? You're lucky I'm feeling generous, especially after how you've been acting. Go ahead, muñeca (doll). Cum all over my strap/fingers."

-Aftercare includes her pressing gentle kisses to your temple and brushing your hair out of your face. You're welcome to do whatever you want after that, but not without Valeria lingering close by, just in case her pretty girl needs anything.

Rodolfo Parra

-Gentle and loving sex? Gentle and loving sex.

-He'll praise you SO MUCH. You could do the smallest thing and he'll just shower you in compliments.

-"Do you have any idea how beautiful/handsome you are, cariño? (Honey/sweetheart) This body is fucking irresistible. What an amazing woman/man/person you are, amor (love.)"

-Moves deathly slow. He's so careful not to hurt you that the actual process of stretching your pussy/ass out takes forever.

-Whispers praises and compliments the entire time, though.

-His hands gently rub your hips in an attempt to soothe you, constantly asking if you're okay.

-"You alright, amor? (Love). Yeah? I'm not being too rough, am I? Good, good. Let me know if it hurts."

-Oh, and his lips never leave your body. Your neck and face especially.

-Aftercare includes the most heavenly massages imaginable. He'll massage you anywhere you want, your shoulders, legs, anywhere you want to be massaged, he'll do it. Similarly to Alejandro, you're also bedbound. Rudy would rather die before letting you do anything after sex, especially your first time.

-And like I said earlier, Rudy has a voice kink. So, hearing you talk afterwards makes him happy. Talk to him about anything and he'll listen so intently while he massages you.

Kyle Garrick

-Like Rudy, constant praise.

-Seems so fixated on the fact that this is your first time, so he's very concentrated on going slow. (In the beginning, anyway. May or may not get a bit drunk off the feeling of your pussy/ass around his cock.)

-The slowest thrusts imaginable. Starts out very shallow, but he'll carefully go deeper into your pussy/ass. Ensures you're ready before, though.

-He also suddenly gains the best hearing in the world. If you make even the slightest sound of discomfort, he'll stop and check in with you.

-"Christ, you alright, love? Too fast?"

-And even if he's going slower, sometimes he'll get so lost in how good you feel that a bit of communication is in order to ground him.

-"Right, sorry, baby. Here-why don't I go at a few different paces and you see which one's the best, yeah?"

-Never makes you feel like you're taking away his enjoyment if you speak up about something you dislike/like. It's only enjoyable to him if you like it, too.

-There is NO such thing as too much talking with him. Please show how much you like/dislike something, and he'll keep it in mind for the rest of his life.

-"Oh, yeah? You like it like that? I'll have to do it more often, then."

-Aftercare also probably includes some chatter. Maybe a quick order of the most delicious food possible while binge watching your favorite show/movie. Oh, and yall are definitely cuddling all night long, too.

König

-So, König is big. And he knows he's big. That's why he's honestly a little anxious to fuck you with his dick during your first time.

-Bro is probably pacing around the room like a depressed zoo tiger for a bit before he sits you down and has a talk with you.

-"I'm sorry, darling, but I don't think you could take me. Especially not as your first time. Are you sure you want to do this?"

-If you ensure that you'll be okay, the foreplay will be insane. He's going to slowly stretch you out over his fingers, gently rubbing your clit/tip with his thumb while making you repeat a chosen safeword.

-"Say it again, liebling (darling). Can you be louder for me? Good, that's a good girl/boy. I want you to say that the moment it starts hurting, okay?"

-He's also gonna eat you out/suck you off as well. Like I said, lots of foreplay.

-And when he does finally start fucking you? He's barely gonna put four inches in. So fixated on not hurting you that he barely realizes that you're moaning softly in approval under him.

-When he does hear those moans, though, he's gonna give you a small smile and ask if you're okay.

-"Aw, listen to those moans. Does that feel good? Mhm, good. Just let me know if it hurts, liebe." (Love)

-Won't even cum inside you the first time if you finish first. He doesn't want to overstimulate you at all. Besides, you're always welcome to watch him jerk off (or even help him out 🤭)

-Aftercare includes you using this behemoth of a man as a bed. You're gonna lay on top of him and act as his personal weighted blanket for the night. Then, the next day is all about you. He's gonna do WHATEVER you want the next day. No food, clothing nor activity is off limits for his perfect liebling ❤

Alex Keller

-If he's your first choice, then congratulations. You have amazing taste.

-Might be biased here bc I find him so unbelievably fine, but Alex would be great as your first time.

-He's just so gentle and attentive, starting by carefully stroking your cock/rubbing your clit to calm you down.

-"Its okay, dolly. I know, I know it doesn't feel good right now. How about I just stay still for a bit, and you tell me when you're ready again, okay?"

-And when you do give permission for him to move again, he's kissing your cheek while praising you.

-"Mm, you're so damn tight. Could spend the whole day in this little pussy/ass and never get tired."

-Ensures that his thrusts are shallow and slow, only going to just behind the tip of his cock and seeing how you react.

-So unbelievably sweet. Makes you feel like the most special person in the world.

-Oh, and he holds your hand. Both physically and metaphorically. He entwines your hands together, talking you through each and every step.

-"Can you spread your legs a little farther, please? Good, that's a good girl/boy."

-Tries his best to make sure you cum first, and when you do he'll carefully fill you up, slowly pulling out to watch it drip out of your hole.

-"Ain't that a pretty sight. You okay, darling? Yeah? Did that feel good?"

-Aftercare will consist of a warm shower/bath together before returning to bed to cuddle all night long. Oh, and Alex is totally kissing the back of your neck as yall spoon, whispering praises and sweet words in your ear.

Simon Riley

-Like König, I feel like he'd be a little hesitant to take you. Not necessarily as anxious as him, but he knows that once he's inside you, he probably won't be great at going slow.

-"Look, love, it's not that I don't want to, it's just that I know myself. I'm gonna have a hard time being gentle."

-He can't resist you for long, though. Eventually he does decide to give it a try, but not after the addition of a safeword and physical signals to show if you're uncomfortable.

-Although Simon's unsure at first, he's actually able to keep a clear head and not get drunk off how good you feel.

-Does his best to listen for your safeword or any physical signal that you wanna tap out.

-Because of this, he's more quiet than normal, but he can't help but grunt softly in your ear with the occasional praise for doing so well.

-"You're takin' me so well, love. Good girl/boy, I'm proud of you."

-Because his mind isn't as foggy as he thought it'd be, he's only putting in a few inches. He's sure you'll be able to take all of him eventually, just not right now.

-"Just the tip, baby. No, not puttin' anymore in. It'll be too much for you."

-Gently rubs your clit/tip to soothe you, even if it doesn't hurt much.

-When you cum, so does he. Ghost proceeds to stay there for a little while, doing a quick check in before pulling out and watching his cum drip down your body.

-"Shit, you see what you do to me, baby?"

-Aftercare is similar to what my headcanons on him said. And although he's tired, he makes sure you go to sleep first this time, just so he can admire his gorgeous girl/handsome boy/etc for a little while longer.

YALL ITS FINALLY DONE 😭 I accidentally uploaded this unfinished TWICE and this is my quick attempt at a rewrite. I tried my best 🙏

And I'm sure you can all tell that I had fun w/ the Alex headcanons. I'm sorry but he's just so..😍

Let me know who I should do next!

[f14fun]

masterlist

do not copy or repost my work on any other websites without my direct permission. if permission is given, please credit me, @f14fun. ─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────────────

RULES: ˋ°•*⁀➷ a NO HATE NO DISCRIMINATION zone. absolutely not tolerating anything along those lines in this blog. have something bad to say; don't say it.

ˋ°•*⁀➷ i don't write 24/7! i have school and work, so sometimes updates may be fast or slow, depending on my availability

ˋ°•*⁀➷not taking requests right now! (this could possibly change for the future, i just have a lot of ideas that i want to get out now, lol)

ˋ°•*⁀➷ my fics are organized by driver, and under each driver each blurb is ordered from the least amount of words to the most amount of words

fic recs ᯓ★

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op81: 𐙚 my own pastry ⋆˚✿˖° (smau & prose) - 2.9K ⋆˚✿˖° !baker x op81 𐙚 big mouth, big brain ⋆˚✿˖° (3 part series, smau & prose) - 8.0K ⋆˚✿˖° !youtuber/!video-essay-girlie x op81 𐙚 pages and podiums ⋆˚✿˖° (2 part series, prose) - 8.4K ⋆˚✿˖° !author-in-bookstore x op81

𐙚 lay all your love on me ⋆˚✿˖° (6 part series, prose) - 43K ⋆˚✿˖° !uni-girl euro summer x op81

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mv1: 𐙚 pixelated love ⋆˚✿˖° (5 part series, 6th part coming out soon, smau) ⋆˚✿˖° !simmer x mv1 𐙚 dc it-girl ⋆˚✿˖° (1 part, 2nd part coming soon, smau & prose) - 3.3K ⋆˚✿˖° !fem!poc!black-reader x mv1

stimulus ~ mv1 (smau & prose) 𐙚 fic preview 𐙚 diary entry one: blue jeans (3.9K)

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dr3: 𐙚 a cowgirl's stars, stripes, and speed ⋆˚✿˖° (series, smau & prose) - 20.6K ⋆˚✿˖° !black-!cowgirl-!singer x dr3

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Advising My Dear Readers:

Not all events in this fanfiction are strictly factual; rather, they may parallel or loosely mirror real events and opportunities. Do with this information as you may, and please refrain from hate or negative comments if something isn't exactly "right". All contents in this fanfiction belong to @f14fun. © All rights reserved.

[encanto-extended-edition]

✨️Bienvenido, everyone! Thank you all for your patience with this event, we are so excited to share this with you! ✨️

To start, we are your lovely hosts for the Encanto OC Appreciation Event:

Amanda @overly-dramatic-artist & Pena @dororoxpenana!

You may recognize us in the Encanto OC community already with our OCs Angela Morales Estrada (Amanda) and María Madrigal (Pena), but you’ll find out more about them during the event! 💖

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

♡ The main goal and drive of this event is to spread some much needed love and appreciation to our fellow OC creators! You are all such a gift to this fandom, and it’s more than time to recognize each other! While we will be reblogging everyone’s creations on to this blog, this event will only work as intended if you all interact with each other! We can speak for almost everyone when we say that it is entirely welcome for you to go feral in the tags and comments. Share your enthusiasm. Go wild. If someone says something kind to you, you are legally required to pass that on ten-fold (Just kidding, but please please interact with each other!). ♡

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

✨️The Prompts!✨️

👋🏼 Week One (October 1-7) : Introduction. Time to share the lore of your OC! For this week, we are looking for your OC’s backstory, what connects them to canon, and who they are as a person! This can include detailed character sheets, a written backstory, drawings of them through stages of life, how you developed this character, even a ‘slide show’ of their background; literally anything pertaining to who they are.

❤️ Week Two (October 8-14) : Relationships. Let’s take a deep dive into the interpersonal relationships of your OC! Family, friends, lovers…enemies? For this week, share any works that give us a look into who your OC is connected to; it can be a family tree, drawings of them with friends, their wedding; as long as there is some form of connection, you’re golden!

🌟 Week Three (October 15-21) : Extras and Add-Ons. Have an AU? Or two? Or ten? All you full of bits of information and side stories? Share it all! This week is for you to share anything and everything you want. Any sort of obscure alternate timeline, a detailed overview of their sense of fashion, pieces of trivia like their favorite food or weather, what their handwriting looks like, comics you’ve been wanting to share. Anything and everything is game!

🫂 Week Four and a Half (October 22-31) : Share the Love. Spread around the appreciation for your fellow artists and writers! Send head-canons or thoughts about someone else’s OC, or maybe some artwork or a one-shot! Or even express your delight for another person’s creativity. We highly encourage you to engage with people you may not be super familiar with.

You are more than welcome to use older material for this event, especially for the first three weeks, but we just ask that you make a new post with this blog tagged so we know to reblog it! New creations are greatly encouraged, but we understand that making art and writing is time consuming 💖 You can also make multiple posts for each week if you have a lot to share, don’t feel pressured to cram everything into one post!

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🔴Please refrain from comparing OCs against each other or to canon characters in a negative manner. This event is meant to appreciate everyone’s efforts, we’ve all dealt with enough negativity already. Be kind.

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✨️Please tag our event blog (this one!) as well as using the hashtag ‘encanto oc appreciation’ & 'encanto oc event' as we want everyone’s work to be shared on our blog like an archive of love!✨️

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[buckstriviacorner]

What is this blog about?

Hi, and welcome to Buck’s Trivia Corner—the go-to spot for all the fun, interesting, cool, and obscure facts shared by Evan “Buck” Buckley throughout the 9-1-1 series. This blog serves as an archive for all the nerdy facts Buck has shared over the seasons.

How does it operate?

For each fact shared, a video clip is provided along with details about the episode in which it can be found. Some facts are evident, while others require further clarification, as they are not that thoroughly explained in the source material. In some cases, the facts are accompanied by Buck lore, either in the video itself or as bonus information below it. If a clip contains multiple facts, the video will also include the content between them, even if it’s not always relevant to the facts being shared, as cutting it out would make the clip feel awkward.

All key information will be written below the video, with additional context provided as needed.

If you think there's a Buck fact from the show that's missing, feel free to leave us a message! Some facts may have been accidentally overlooked. A few of Buck’s comments were deliberately left out, however, as they didn't feel substantial enough for us to classify them as fun facts—but if you disagree and there’s something you feel like should be added, let us know, and we’ll see what we can do.

Additional information

We don't tolerate hate of any kind. Please refrain from spreading negativity in the tags and comments, or you may be blocked.

Credit for the blog idea goes to the amazing @houseofevanbuckley and his anon.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Just saw you're post about the some people on the pro endo comunity being agressive. And I've actually have had the opposite expirience.

The anti endos in my life irl and online are kind of really mean?

I want to have a pro endo account but I'm scared of being harassed, fakeclaimed, etc. A lot (not everyone) of the people who are anti endo are so aggressive, and I'm not in a state where I can really receive that.

Any words of encouragement or tips?

Thank you, have a nice day!

gah, memory issues so we can’t recall what post exactly you’re referring to, sorry.

here are our tips for running a pro-endo account, or some sort of account where all system origins are accepted. it got kind of long and heavy, so we’re putting it under a cut.

1) when you first set up the blog, before you’ve made any post at all, go through some of the anti-endo tags and block those users from your new side blog. some tags to trawl/search through are “#anti endo,” “#endos fuck off,” “#endos aren’t real” and “#endos are trash.” just a heads up, you may see some violent, harmful, or potentially triggering posts in those tags. if you have the energy and capabilities for it, preemptively blocking a lot of users may save you some pain and difficulties down the line.

2) you may very well be harassed or fakeclaimed by running this account. we have been fakeclaimed by others on this blog, and have had users block evade, follow us to our personal accounts, and try to purposefully trigger us. it’s been rough, but this is one of the risks of running an inclusive blog online. some things to keep in mind:

- you can block any user who sends you anonymous asks. just hit the three dots at the top right of the ask page and hit “block anonymous.”

- having anonymous asks turned off entirely could greatly reduce the potential for you to receive hate and unkind messages. personally we like to leave anons on since lots of folks prefer to send asks anonymously, but if you’re worried or nervous, you can definitely turn them off.

- delete any negative comments on your posts as soon as you notice them, and block the users who make them from your side blog. we do this to help keep our posts positive.

- if any asker threatens to dox you, sends you gore or purposefully triggering content, won’t leave you alone, or is block evading, report them to tumblr. we have had to do this before, and tumblr’s been pretty good about banning genuinely harmful or dangerous users.

3) don’t pick fights, don’t cross post into anti-endo tags, and leave anti-endos alone. we only use anti-endo tags if we are tagging a post that mentions them for filtering purposes. if you refrain from engaging with those who you don’t want interacting with you, you’re much less likely to face harassment, in our experience.

4) try to remember that everyone posting on tumblr, regardless of whether or not they are pro-endo, is a person or human being. when someone fakeclaims you or sends you hate, it is probably coming from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem. they may be lashing out as a trauma response, or they may be having difficulties regulating their emotions. none of these things are an excuse or good reason to be an asshole to others, but it is something worth keeping in mind.

when we are fakeclaimed, it is more a poor reflection on the fakeclaimers than it is on who we are as a person or system. you know yourself and your system more than anyone else online, so when you are fakeclaimed, try to just chuckle with your headmates about it, let it roll off your shoulders, and block the user.

we hope this helps. if any of our followers run pro-endo blogs and have some advice for this anon, please share it by all means. and when you do make the blog, anon, feel free to drop the @ here so we can follow and boost your new account. best of luck to you with your future endeavors - running an inclusive blog is not always easy, but for us, it has been an incredibly rewarding and beneficial experience :)

[duckduckhjonk]

I'm gonna start my Inanimate Insanity watch trough tomorrow night! :D

Gonna lay some ground rules for live blogging it for those who want to follow along with me :3

-Please don't spoil it for me. While for the most part this is a rewatch, I haven't seen most of it past Season 2 episode 10 and a few Invitational episodes.

-I'll be watching very few episodes a night. This isn't a binge, this is a full watch through for me to comprehend it.(Maybe around 2-3 a night, more if they're shorter.)

-I'll be using a custom tag for this so I don't clog up the Inanimate Insanity tag(will be said in the tags)

-I'm not gonna refrain from being silly or negative or positive in any capacity.

-Feel free to join me and comment or use the tag or DM me! I enjoy watching with company :3

-Don't bully me for my opinions. Thats mean.

-The reason I'm doing this is because I didn't really enjoy it in the first go around, so I gave it a few years and am giving it another chance. Please keep this in mind.

With that being said, come join me tomorrow night! I'm probably going to start around 10:30pm EST but it could be some few moments before or after depending on my schedule.

[insurrection-if]

Are you even working on the demo cause you spend time answering asks a lot for someone who should be busy writing. You haven't even made one progress update...not one. Bffr

Apologies for causing you so much frustration; it is certainly a frustration I share myself. I too am not happy about my state of progress either. Always am I uselessly lamenting the loss of time the hours of my work and hiatus have taken from this project, but I cannot help the fact that I live beyond the existence of this game. I sympathize with your sentiments here. That does not diminish how it hurts me to see these frustrations take firm root in another.

I do take a little issue with the phrasing of “someone who should be writing”—it is a bit too demanding in tone for a project and story that has no taken nothing from you other than your volunteered time and attention. I apologize again if you feel that I have been a waste of this time and attention you have given, but thankfully there are far greater—and completed—creative works in the world (and especially the IF community) for you to derive a more immediate enjoyment from in my place. If you consider my efforts and words here thus far worthless, then please spend your time seeking out others who more rightly deserve support, whether it be quiet or actioned in nature, though I do hope you refrain from giving any unconstructive negativity to those creators. Support of any real, or well-intentioned, worth should never be offered in an accusatory form.

I cannot be reduced to a servile entity that wakes, works, and writes in an endless, uninterrupted cycle for you. I am not some distant figment or a puppet machine that toils without exhaust and objectively produces content for the sake of a quota. I am a human person, no better—perhaps even lesser—than the average, with a life that demands and takes and upends even the best of my intentions. A stranger, and I apologize if this distancing term in any way offends or discomforts you, cannot determine for me what should be done with my life and limited time.

My demo will be free, my responses are free, and your time is freely given. No contract exists between us to bind you to my nonsense.

Would you like progress updates? I did not create them since I did not consider there to be an interest in these sorts of posts from me. It is easy for me to forget that others might have this project of mine on their mind beyond the short span of time it takes to read my response to a message or ask. Minimal posting is my comfort zone after all as this makes me feel like less of a clutter in the lives and time of other people. If it is so desired, then I will consider it, though they may be sporadic due to the personal discomfort I would need to surmount.

Would answering less asks honestly be reassuring for you? I know the volume of my responses to asks and comments is not the root, or even true, concern you hold—that would be the efficient use of my time to produce a demo / playable content at your earliest convenience—but if it brings more frustration than anything else to the majority then I can pause all responses in my inbox and drafts. I do not want to invest time, effort, and heart into something that will only cause anger or annoyance.

And again, I apologize if my tone is at all a bit too mean, angered, short, or sharp. It’s been a lot these past few weeks, mostly in terms of stress and crying. I feel a little incoherent as I write this. I do not want to cause any more disappointment than I what I am already blaming myself for.

Sorry.

[rafesapologist]

hi all,

i wanted to talk about this briefly since i received some comments today on one of my series that were in no way constructive criticism, rather the opposite actually. if you feel the need to leave a hateful comment on my work or any kind of negativity, please refrain from interacting with my page and content. i am not forcing you to read my stories and nobody gains anything from being hateful in my comment section. you simply do not have to read it. be more mindful of what you have to say to others, especially if it’s solely out of cattiness.

[ask-larspinfield]

Apparently during all the chaos post Garraka, the existence of the Paranormal Research Center was leaked to the press and the public. 

The existence of the paranormal has fascinated both amateurs and seasoned investigators alike since the nineteenth century. This blog exists to answer any questions one may have about the paranormal, what it’s like working in the GEC, and for sharing random anecdotes about working in the lab, as I have been told that strangers may find that sort of thing entertaining.

Hopefully through this, we can stop various paranormal internet vloggers from continuously using Ouija boards on investigations to try and contact the other side. Seriously stop. If there isn’t a problem you will be making one and if there is a problem, you will most certainly be making it worse. 

[For business inquiries pertaining to possible hauntings and ghost sightings, please contact the main office at (212) 555-2368]

- Lars Pinfield

[RULES UNDER THE CUT!!!!!]

This is a roleplay account in the form of an ask-blog. It will consist of questions, answers and random little comments related to things that I (the one running this) think might happen if one were to work in a paranormal research lab. 

The character this blog is “run by” is Lars Pinfield from the Ghostbusters franchise. 

It is highly likely that I will be interacting with other ask-blogs from the Frozen Empire era. However if someone running an 80’s era ask-blog would like to start a running bit about dimensional breaches and breaks in the space time continuum Ghostbusters IDW comics style, I am 100% ready and willing to be involved in such chaos.

RULES!!!!!

Lars may be an adult, but that does not mean I (the one running this) am one or that I am comfortable being asked questions of a sexual nature. Please refrain from doing so. 

Please also refrain from asking questions of a discriminatory or negative nature. If you break either of these rules YOU WILL BE IGNORED!!!!!

CHARACTER

Lars Pinfield (he/him), born 1985

PRIMARY CHARACTERIZATION

The main characterization for this blog will be Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. 

SECONDARY CHARACTERIZATION

If a secondary characterization is released and I am able to get ahold of the material, I will add that as well.

[f14fun]

pages and podiums (!author x op81) - series index

synopsis: in which case y/n, an author hosts a signing and a read-out-loud of the final installment of her book series in new york city. oscar, lost in the big city, stumbles by the bookstore and is immediately intrigued by her (and her books).

prose (8.4K words) ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ profile | masterlist ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

𐙚 pages and podiums (p1, p2, p3 ANY REQUESTS?)

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────────────

Advising My Dear Readers:

Not all events in this fanfiction are strictly factual; rather, they may parallel or loosely mirror real events and opportunities. Do with this information as you may, and please refrain from hate or negative comments if something isn't exactly "right". All contents in this fanfiction belong to @f14fun. © All rights reserved.

[cvntyra]

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ madisyn || 18 / eighteen || jjk, kny, and bnha author || sfw + nsfw content.

1. requests are open. this blog is a safe space for anybody of any kind.

2. please try to refrain from stealing/translating/leaving negative comments my work! i do all of this purely for fun & to make everybody's day.

3. you may call me madi or syn for short of my name.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑:

jjk : satoru, geto, toji, sukuna, megumi, yuuji. <- these are the characters i know best.

kny : giyuu, sanemi, uzui, kanroji, obanai, muzan, akaza, genya. <- these are the characters i know best.

bnha : dabi, hawks, shoto, katsuki. <- these are the characters i know best.

all about me :: anons

[helelmcgrippers]

Encountering an anti-shipper (real footage, part 2)

(Link to Part 1)

Attention, everyone! This minor incident involving this anti-shipper will come to a close here. If you are a proshipper, I implore you to block this individual promptly. My aim was to gather sufficient interaction from them and showcase to others how anti-shippers react and the manner in which they can be extremely hurtful. Please use these pictures as an example.

⚠️: Please refrain from sending any hate or organizing a witch-hunt against this person, as it does not align with the values and standards of our community. Instead, strive to rise above the situation and maintain a higher moral ground.

These were the final responses made by that user on my previous blog about "Art should comfort the disturb and disturb the comfortable". Such behavior and conduct are what anti-shippers condone in their community, but they are quick to ridicule and criticize anyone who ships fictional characters that they do not personally support.

I strongly encourage you to block this individual as soon as possible. Since they have no qualms about harassing and sending death threats to other people, it is imperative to report them to minimize the risk of anyone, especially proshippers, becoming a victim of this harmful behavior.

However, please refrain from sending any personal attacks or criticism towards this individual as they are likely already aware of their actions.

He even tried to label me as ableist when I criticized him for making negative comments on my blogs. However, their neurodivergence was not the point of contention, nor do I personally condone attacking someone because of their disabilities. I would also like to mention that I myself am neurodivergent as well.

This concludes our brief series of interactions with an anti-shipper. Thank you for your support throughout the entire process.

[sapphicahsokatanoweek]

Sapphic Ahsoka Tano Week 2024

Frequently Asked Questions

What kinds of content can be submitted? Digital or traditional art, fanfic, poetry, playlists, edits, photos, cosplay, icons, graphics, and/or memes. If you have something in mind that’s not included here, feel free to send us an ask to confirm!

Are trans, nonbinary, and intersex depictions of characters welcome? Always! Any and all characters featured in the content you create for Sapphic Ahsoka Tano Week can be trans, nonbinary, and/or intersex.

Are bisexual/pansexual/polysexual headcanons allowed? Of course! All characters are welcome to be portrayed as any sexual, romantic, or gender identity. Bashing or negativity towards any LGBTQIA+ subgroup will not be tolerated and you will be blocked for interacting with the event.

Are depictions of polycules okay? As long as Sapphic Ahsoka Tano is involved, the more the merrier! For example, JediNiteArmor (Ahsoka/Bo-Katan/Armorer) is allowed, or Kanerasoka (Kanan/Hera/Ahsoka) is allowed.

May I include OCs in my submission? Absolutely, as long as Ahsoka Tano remains the focus of the work.

Can submissions be platonic in nature? Definitely! We only ask that works are Ahsoka-centric, and not sidelining her to focus on other non-Ahsoka ships.

Is content featuring Ahsoka as a kid allowed? No depictions of underage sexual content will be accepted. Light non-explicit romance (i.e. hand-holding, sharing meals, fighting together, hugging, going on dates) is acceptable between TCW era Ahsoka and a peer of her age (i.e. Barriss, Riyo, Steela, Trace). Any sexual content must clearly indicate Ahsoka and her partner are both adults.

Are AUs allowed? Absolutely! You are welcome to create art and stories that do not align with Star Wars canon. 

Is there a word minimum or art completion level required to submit? Nope! Make as much or as little as you like.

Can I use fancasts or character inspirations outside of the actors that play Ahsoka? Yes, but please do not whitewash any of the characters involved. 

Can I post what I create on other social media platforms? Absolutely! While this event week only has an account on Tumblr, you are welcome to share whatever you make to any/all of your other accounts. We may not be there to reblog it formally, but we will be cheering you on!

I don’t like (Sapphic) Ahsoka Tano, some of her ships, or don’t want to see this event! Please blacklist/filter out the tags: #sapphicahsokatano, #sapphicahsokatanoweek, and #sapphicahsokatanoweek2024, and/or any of the ships you don’t want to see to prevent any of the posts related to this event from appearing on your dash. Kindly review Tumblr’s guide on how to do so and refrain from commenting/posting negativity directly on the content creator’s work. We also ask all creators to tag the ships they’re depicting in their works as well.

Are “toxic” or “taboo” elements and themes allowed? The LGBTQIA+ community has a long-interwoven history with the horror genre. Works describing horror and/or traditionally “unpalatable” tropes are absolutely allowed; we simply ask you to clearly tag all possible triggers. Examples: blood, biting, cannibalism, murder, violence, monsters, gore. We ask all consumers of the works created to respect the creators’ tags. If something is tagged “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”, you have been fairly warned.

I’m late with my submission! Can I still share it? Of course! We completely understand when ‘life’ happens and dates are missed, but you still want to share your work. Remember to tag this blog, tag #sapphicahsokatanoweek2024 and mention your prompts so we can share and archive it appropriately.

[birdiewrites78]

Dangerous Desires: Chapter One

This is Chapter One of a multipart series. The story includes violence inspired by Criminal Minds and touches on sensitive topics such as domestic violence, racism, and misogyny. If any of these topics make you uncomfortable, please refrain from reading. This chapter only briefly mentions racism, and each chapter will have specific warnings. Thank you for reading, and feel free to provide any feedback through my inbox.

This Chapter is dedicated to Isis because without her I would have never had the courage to finish writing. 

August 1, 2005, 6:03 am, Woodbridge, Virginia 

Natalie was out on what was shaping out to be the hottest day of the year; she would much rather be in bed trying to forget her nightmares or even in the living room that had air conditioning watching South Park Reruns. But dogs don't care about your feelings; they only want to go outside. So Natalie was watching over her small Yorkie, and as she used the bathroom, the sun was coming out in the distance. Once Bella was finished, the pair walked back to their townhouse. The small dog was clearly in a good mood, wagging her tail and sticking her dog out; the same couldn't be said for Natalie. Today was her first day at the Behavioral Analysis Unit. She wasn't a profiler or anything important like that; she was just the media liaison who was tasked with making sure that more people joined the BAU because many agents were lost six months ago in the bombings.

Natalie mindlessly walked, occasionally checking around her to make sure she wasn't being followed. As she was about to reach her townhouse, something drew her attention. She must have missed it earlier as the sun hadn't fully risen, but she could see it now that her neighbor had grown tulips. The pink blubs had fully matured and were undoubtedly beautiful. It had been a long time since she had seen tulips, and her day got a little better.

The rest of her morning consisted of changing into her work outfit, which was a white button-up with a white t-shirt underneath. Her pants were black slacks and a black suit jacket. Natalie searched through the jewelry box to find her pearls. Natalie didn't grow up rich; she was far from it, but her mother saved up to give Natalie pearls as a gift when she turned eighteen. Natalie blinked away the tears in her eyes and put on the matching earrings and necklace set. The rest of Bella’s morning consisted of getting Bella food and making herself some coffee and toast. After finishing up her breakfast, Natalie went to the powder room to check her appearance. She entered the small bathroom and averted her attention to the mirror. Natalie had inherited her father's darker skin and often had to hear negative comments about her complexion, so she became good at pretending that the comments did not bother her.

She studied her reflection, looking for any glaring flaws in it. She just saw her soft, doe-like, dark brown eyes, which were covered in dark brown eyeshadow. She made sure to check that her false lashes were on properly, next to her thin, arched brows, scanning for any extra hairs that were out of place. She checked her lipstick next; her lips were in the shape of a cupid's bow, and the lipstick color was a combination of blush pink in the center with a dark brown lining her lips. She smoothed down her long, pin-straight hair and made sure that none of her tracks were showing. The final thing she did was adjust her pink broach, which was in the shape of a ribbon.

The commute to work was dull. Natalie didn't bother to turn on the radio; she just listened to the sounds of the outside world. She slowly watched her surroundings change from the dense greenery to the industrial compound of the FBI’s headquarters. After going through security and getting her badge, Natalie made her way to the elevator. She was nervous but she couldn't let that show, she took a deep breath and started to pretend. She strutted into the hallway from the elevator, her So Kates making a small click on the white carpet floor with every step she took. Her steps were graceful but purposeful; she exuded confidence everywhere that she went. Her eyes were drawn to the receptionist's table, and she continued walking up to it, stepping carefully on the now-light beige carpeted floors. There was an older black woman with short black hair working the desk; she had smiled lines edged into her face; there were also semi-recently dark circles under her eyes. The receptionist looked up at the woman coming towards her, smiling brightly at her.

“Can I help you, dear?” The receptionist questioned the young woman.

Natalie  took a deep breath before she started, "Hello, ma'am, I'm here to see Agent Hotchner.”

The receptionist turned to her computer, and the younger woman presumed to have confirmed that Agent Hotchner had scheduled meetings.

Looking up from the computer screen, the receptionist asked, “What's your name?"

Natalie always dreaded this question because of the temptation to say the wrong name.

She cleared her throat and continued, “Natalie, Natalie Price, Miss, I am the new media liaison."

The woman smiled at Natalie and chimed, "Yes, Ms. Price, welcome to the behavioral analysis department; I’ll show you over to your desk, and Diane is just fine."

Natalie often felt that she had a resting frown, which often made her appear unfriendly, so she tried to smile frequently to overcome this barrier.

Natalie spoke up as Diane started getting up. ''Thank you, Diane. I'm excited to be here, and you can just call me Natalie.”

Diane grinned at Natalie's words; she fully stood up and ushed for Natalie to follow her. Natalie grabbed her light pink rolling bag and walked behind Diane through the large office. The thing that stood out to her was just how empty the office was despite this; the office was beautiful and definitely, the nicest Natalie had ever seen. It was covered in floor-to-ceiling windows, surrounded by metal desks with wooden tops. The walls that didn't have windows displayed old certificates and awards that the BAU won.

The agents that were there had piles of documents on top of their desks mixed in with empty coffee mugs. Except for the clicking of keyboards, the sound of pens writing on the paper, and the turning of pages of reports, the office was silent. Natalie noticed how the walls were a mixture of concrete and dark blue paint; there was an intricate pattern on the ceiling, with overhead beams that stuck out from the ceiling.

When Natalie finally reached her desk, what drew her attention next were the stairs with an attached metal railing. There was an imposing room on the second floor that was also covered in large windows. Natalie couldn't look into the windows, though, because of the large blinds covering it. Diane spoke again, which made Natalie slap out of her thoughts.

“Here is your desk, honey; once you get settled, just go up to the conference room up those stairs, and to the left, you’ll meet the team along with Agent Hotchner there.”

Natalie looked at her desk; it was the same as all of the others except for the fruit sitting on top of it. Natalie froze when she saw a note attached to it, and she felt panic surge through her.

Diane must have noticed Natalie's unease because she spoke again: 'You're not allergic to fruit, are you? Oh boy, I’ll get this cleared away. Sorry about that, dear.”

Natalie visibly relaxed at the revelation; she told herself that just to try to relax, he wouldn't find her again.

Natalie began to speak before Diane left. “No, I’m not; I just am not the best with surprises, but thank you, Diane; it's lovely.”

Natalie finished, trying her best to smile back at Diane. She knew she probably came off weird, but if Diane was thinking that her face didn't give it away,

“Well, I’m glad you like it. I should probably get back to the desk. Let me know if you need anything else, dear.” Diane concluded as she started to walk away.

“Wait, Diane, I just have one more question: whose office is that?” She asked while pointing to the large office on the second floor.

"Oh, that's Agent Hotchner’s office. He is finishing a call, but he will meet you in the conference room.” Diane replied.

“Oh, thank you,” Natalie responded, watching as Diane made her way back to her desk.

Natalie sat on her swivel chair and started to unpack her rolling bag. She made a mental note to get Diane a gift card as a thank you, maybe for a spa. She took out of her rolling bag what she needed most: her black Fendi spy bag, her silver laptop, and her planner with a pink pen attached. She reached inside her Fendi to pull out her silver compact. She opened it and looked at her reflection. She took one last look, smiled at herself, satisfied enough with her appearance, and shut her compact, putting it back in her purse. She moved her rolling back under her desk, then gathered up the things she put out on her desk, putting them under her right arm. She walked to the stairs, holding onto the railing, and took a deep breath before proceeding up them.

She walked to the left, just as Diane told her, and opened the first door that she saw. Unlike the rest of the office, this room didn't have windows in it. Natalie mumbled to herself a small mantra before she opened the door: “Don't let anyone make you feel inferior; you deserve to be here.” She opened the door and was greeted by a room filled with six people sitting around a circular table. They immediately looked up at her, in confusion, and said, “Hello, I'm Natalie Price, the new media liaison for the BAU.” She announced it to the group. She noticed a black man with a buzz cut and a goatee dressed in casual clothing smirking at her. He spoke up first. “Welcome to the team Price, we go back by last names for the most part here, I’m Morgan, that's Reid,” he said, motioning to a young man with brown hair touching his neck with one side tucked behind his hair. He briefly looked up at Natalie and gave a quick half-smile.

Morgan then motioned to a young white woman with long blond hair. “This is-"

The blonde woman interrupted, introducing herself: “I’m Agent Jennifer Jareau; you can call me JJ. I was the previous media liaison, so let me know if you need anything.” Natalie smiled at her, feeling a little more comfortable knowing that the previous media liaison was still working there. Morgan simply smirked and started again. “Would anyone else like to introduce themselves?” He asked for the room, but no one else spoke up. So he decided to continue. “This is Prentiss,” he said, motioning to a white woman with dark brown hair and bangs cut. Prentiss looked at Natalie and smiled at her. "Finally, last but not least, this is Agent Gideon.” Morgan finished pointing at an older white man in the corner with short brown hair that had sprinkles of gray; he wore a striped button-down shirt and black slacks. Agent Gideon looked up from staring at the small window overlooking the scenery outside to greet Natalie with a half smile.

Morgan sighed at Gideon's actions and muttered something under his breath. Natalie could sense a little bit of tension between the two. She decided to speak up again to clear the air. “It is nice to meet all of you; I am excited to..." Natalie’s sentence was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. In walked a white middle-aged man who had shorter brown hair, with pieces of it falling onto his face. It reminded Natalie of Leonardo Dicaprio’s hair in The Titanic. He had dark brown eyes that seemed to pierce into her soul. Natalie knew she would be working with profilers, but it never occurred to her that they would try to profile her. His face had a mixture of frown lines and wrinkles in his temple, and Natalie also noticed a beauty mark on his cheek. Natalie had only experienced what could be described as love at first sight; she couldn't deny what she felt when she looked at the man; her heart started to beat quickly, time came to a stop, and she froze for a few minutes just staring at him. He was so handsome that it hurt, she thought.

Aaron was having similar thoughts. He couldn't look away because Natalie was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She took his breath away and scrambled his brain. He was undeniably attracted to her, which terrified him because he had never felt this way. Sure, he had loved his ex-wife and felt an intense attraction when he met her as a teenager, but he had never felt anything quite like this. The man felt an urge to know everything about her and do anything for her. He had read about sirens in Greek mythology using their songs and looks to lure sailors into their untimely deaths, and he felt the same way about the woman. He wanted to do anything for her already, and he started to profile her. His thoughts were interrupted, however, by Morgan smirking and speaking up again. “Hotch, didn’t you say that we had a case?”

Aaron reluctantly tore his eyes away from the woman and looked at the team, who all had knowing smiles on their faces.

Aaron spoke in a commanding tone, “Yes, we do, and it's time-sensitive, so we should get started."

He paused before starting again because he would have to look at the woman again. “And you are?” He asked, looking back at the woman.

“I am Natalie Price, the new media liaison; I just transferred from Narcotics,” Natalie responded not looking into his eyes.

"Right, well, I'm SSA Agent Aaron Hotchner, but you can call me Hotch.” He paused. Normally,  he would reach out to shake someone's hand, but he feared that he would turn into a lovestruck teenage boy if he touched Natalie.

He felt frustrated by the hold Natalie already had on him, so he decided to be an asshole as he continued, “Truth be told, I'm not completely convinced that we need a new media liaison quite so soon.”

Natalie looked up to face Hotch with a condescending smile; she didn't appreciate him questioning if she was needed.

"Duly noted… anywhere in particular that I should sit?” Natalie quickly responded.

Natalie felt better that he was rude; it would be easier to ignore her feelings if he were.

Throughout his life, Aaron has often been described as serious. If his team had to choose one word to describe him, it would be "serious." They would also acknowledge that he was good at his job, but Hotch, as he was known, often felt like that was all he had. He was an absent father and an absent husband, and his frown seemed to be his constant companion. Despite this, Aaron had grown accustomed to his busy schedule and his role as a team leader. 

But for the first time in his life, he was speechless, Natalie did not seem afraid of him, and the monotony of his life quickly changed.

He responded slowly, trying to collect himself. “No, anywhere is fine; welcome to the team you are about to witness your first case.” He responded.

 He pushed his thoughts aside and decided to focus on a woman's life at stake, and as the boss, he had to remain professional. He cleared his throat before starting up the projector and directing everyone’s attention to the large screen in the office.

He started speaking. “Today’s Case is in Seattle, Washington. Before twenty-three-year-old Heather Woodland left for lunch, she downloaded an image with a time-delay virus attached; it left this image on the screen.” Hotch paused, pressing the clicker to show the next image.

The text read, “For heaven's sake, catch me before I kill again," repeated several times. Natalie felt a little sick. “At most, we suspect this woman will have about thirty-six hours to live, wheels up in 30.” Hotch finished his thought. The team grabbed the files sitting on the conference table and headed off to get their bags.

Natalie headed back to her desk, and with her stuff in her arm, she realized that her desk was close to Morgan and Reid’s. She grabbed her pink rolling bag. She was glad she decided to pack a week's worth of clothes, along with all of the toiletries and her medication, last night. She opened her flip phone and sent off a quick message.

Natalie: "I will be gone for about three days; please take care of Bella and don't burn the house down."

She felt bad about leaving Maria and Bella because they had rarely been apart for that long, but she knew what this job required when she took it. Natalie felt a ping in her hand, so she looked down to read it.

Maria: "Will you take care of the dog? I can't promise I won't burn the house down. You have renter's insurance, right?”

Natalie smiled. She felt lucky to have her best friend Maria in her life; she always managed to make Natalie smile even on her darkest days and was the one person she could never get tired of.

Natalie: “Yes, I have renters insurance, Maria, but if I come home to a burned-down house, I'm busting the windows out of your car."

Natalie laughed at her message and then put her phone, along with the things she took to the conference room, in her rolling suitcase.

Morgan must have noticed her smile from her texting Maria because he smirked as he spoke up, “Message from your boyfriend?'

Natalie looked up at him; he couldn't tell if he was curious or was trying to flirt with her. "No,” she stated, pulling her bag off of the desk and wheeling it.

"But you didn't deny you had a boyfriend.” Morgan inquired, and Reid spoke up next: “I’m sorry about him, Natalie; he was dropped on his head as a baby."

This made Natalie laugh as she replied to Reid, “Thank you, Reid, and no, I don't have a boyfriend, Morgan."

Natalie started to walk off in the direction of JJ and Prentiss, where she hoped to find the direction of the plane. Natalie was feeling anxious about flying; she had only flown once in her life, and she hated it. She thought maybe this could be a sort of exposure therapy for her. She went outside to the small runway, and as she walked on the concrete, she was happy at the sound her heels made. Natalie pulled her rolling back until she reached the outside of the large white plane. “This is it,” she thought. She pushed down the handle of the rolling bag and carried it like a regular bag; it was heavy, but luckily, her time in retail and dance made her strong and muscular. 

She touched the outside of the plane as she walked up the stairs, being careful not to fall, especially not on her first day. Natalie looked around the plane; it was glamorous, and JJ and Prentiss were already seated next to each other towards the front of the plane. The seats were plush and made out of leather, with ample leg room, and there was a beige curtain hanging leading off to the back area.

Natalie also noticed a large couch placed near the cockpit; she mentally thought about the taxpayer money that bought that. Natalie moved to the back, right by the curtain, opting to sit close to the aisle, away from the window. Natalie opened her rolling bag this time, taking out her laptop and her iPod; luckily, she made sure to charge them last night. She put in her headphones and put on one of her favorite albums, I Brought You Bullets, You Brought Your Love, by My Chemical Romance. 

She had somewhat of a scene phase back in 2002 when the album first came out; it helped her through losing her mother, so it became a comfort to listen to her. Derek and Reid filed into the plane, laughing to themselves about something; they sat towards the middle; Gideon came in next and sat towards the front; and finally, Agent Hotchner entered the plane. 

Natalie looked up for a brief moment and then went back to her computer screen. She couldn't handle looking at him at the moment. Agent Hotchner sat across from Natalie, which made her wonder if she accidentally stole his seat.

After that, the plane ride was mostly uneventful. Natalie kept to herself and started working on outreach to encourage people to work for the BAU. It used to be one of the biggest departments until the bombings that occurred six months ago. Natalie didn't know much about exactly what happened; she was on a need-to-know basis with Agent Strauss. There were discussions about the case, and the team bounced around theories about the profile. Natalie wrote down what was essential, but the rest she left to the profilers. Aaron looked at Natalie a few times and wondered what she was listening to, but after his comment, he felt like he had made a bad impression, so he didn't ask. Eventually, the plane started to land, which caused Natalie to grip the armrests. She hated this part the most.

The plane descended smoothly, however, and Natalie scooted over to the window in amazement. She was in Seattle for the first time. Despite the nearly 6-hour plane ride, there was still light outside because of the time difference, which was good for the case. Natalie put her things back in her rolling suitcase and followed after JJ as they walked off the plane. They were going to have to split up to be the most effective with the small amount of time they had to find Heather. Natalie was assigned to ride with Hotch, Reid, and Gideon to get a profile for the suspect, while the others were going to talk to Heather's family. Natalie followed the others to one of the black SUVs waiting for them. Natalie felt nervous that it would be her first press conference, and while it had been years since the last incident, she wanted things to go differently this time.

They pilled into the SUV, with Natalie and Spencer sitting in the backseats while Gideon and Agent Hotchner took the front. Hotch drove, and Natalie noticed a few times when their eyes met as he looked into the internal rearview mirror. Natalie decided to look out the window to take in Seattle; naturally, she wished that she was here under happier circumstances. Natalie couldn't get over how beautiful Seattle was. Natalie especially appreciated all of the greenery; her mother had instilled a love of gardening in her at a young age, and since none of her other siblings were interested in it, eventually it became their thing. Eventually, they reached the Northwest Field Office; the building was large and imposing and covered in windows. Natalie followed Reid out of the car and into the building. He held the door and genuinely seemed surprised when Natalie said thank you, probably because no one else did.

After they went through security, Natalie trekked through the halls to reach their office. Natalie was surprised when Gideon corrected Agent Hotchner to say that Reid was a doctor; she figured he was intelligent, but it made her have even more questions. When it was time for her to be introduced, Hotch avoided her eyes and simply stated, “This is Natalie Price, the media liaison for the BAU.” Natalie gave a small wave paired with a smile. What shocked her, though, was Agent Hotchner's dry sense of humor. While she wasn't a profiler, she could already tell from his frown lines that he didn't often joke. They went over the profile. Natalie made sure to write down the key details on her laptop. She was impressed by how quickly they figured out the profile, and she had a million questions she wanted to ask about how they figured it out so fast.

After delivering the profile, Natalie had a million questions she wanted to ask, but they had to leave. Natalie scurried out first after packing up her laptop behind the men, following them back into the SUV. She started to get nervous because it started to sink in her head that she was going to be on national television and be hounded by reporters. She used to be a reporter, so she knew firsthand how vicious they could be. Even though the team already had a few leads on the suspect, they needed to come together to discuss what everyone had found before they tried to narrow it down. Natalie decided to get her mind off of her anxiety and tried to strike up a conversation with Spencer. "Reid, how old are you?”

She questioned him, turning to him in the car. Agent Hotchner gave out a dry chuckle at Natalie's boldness. Maybe someone who didn't know Natalie well would think she was making a poor attempt at flirting. However, Natalie was very inquisitive and enjoyed learning about other people, and while objectively Reid was attractive, Natalie wasn't that interested in dating, and she preferred older men anyway.

Spencer smiled at Natalie's question. “I’m 23;  how old are you? And that is certainly an interesting question to ask.

Natalie gave a half smile at that. “23? I thought you just had a baby face or something and you were secretly like, How are you a  doctor?" Natalie skipped over his questions; she needed answers now.

Spencer laughed at this. “I suppose I am technically a genius; I have an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187, and I noticed you didn't answer my other question."

Natalie smiled again, looking back at Spencer. “I’m 25, but I turn 26 in a few months, and I'm sorry for asking so many questions, but I think that you are amazing."

Natalie responded to Spencer, and he in turn gave a genuine smile. Spencer could tell already that Natalie was very kind; of course, Morgan was his best friend, but secretly he knew that everyone would get tired of his random factoids and his tendency to ramble. But Natalie made him genuinely feel appreciated, and that meant a lot to him. There was no denying that she was beautiful, but he honestly felt a sibling connection to her, and he gathered she felt the same. Reid also gathered how Hotch gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, and his frown got a little bigger while Natalie said that he was amazing.

Reid smiled to himself at how his normally stoic boss was slowly becoming attached to Natalie. Natalie and Reid continued to talk until they reached a small white courthouse. There was already press swarming the area; Seattle was considered one of the safest places to live, so naturally, the deaths of four young women plus the kidnapping of Heather Woodland gained the attention of every news outlet. Police officers had to escort the team up the white marble stairs to the podium and microphone set up for Natalie. Her hands started to sweat, and her anxiety started to kick in. Natalie took a deep breath and took out her notepad from her computer. She touched her pin, which calmed her down. 

It almost felt like a touch from her mother, which made her more confident. The press swarmed her, which caused the officers to have to tell them multiple times to stand back. Aaron helped them control the press, which made her feel a little bit better as well. Some of the reporters gave her weird looks; she knew that they were probably used to seeing JJ, and they were naturally going to be tougher on a black woman, so she mentally prepared herself for any misogyny.

Natalie approached the podium, tapping the microphone to make sure it was on. She cleared her throat and started to speak, "Hello, I am Natalie Price, the New Media Liaison for the Behavioral Analysis Unit for the FBI. We are here to give the public some information on the suspended suspect and general safety advice for the women of Seattle watching.”

Natalie took a deep breath and continued, “We are looking for a white male in his late 20s, someone who could most likely blend into any crowd. This perpetrator is highly intelligent and most likely has a previous history with law enforcement. We believe that the suspect drives a Jeep Cherokee with tinted windows. Finally, we believe the suspect will mostly try to insert themselves into the investigation. If you have any tips for the FBI, please report them to Crime Stoppers, which you can do anonymously. And for the women of Seattle, we recommend reporting any suspicious activity, going out in groups for the time being, and being alert to your surroundings at all times.” Natalie took another breath. “That is all at this time, and we will not be taking questions."

Natalie finished. She stepped away from the podium, proud of her delivery, and walked to be escorted back to the SUV. The reporters naturally followed, asking a series of questions: “Does the FBI have any leads?” One woman asked, “Do you believe Heather Woodland is still alive?” Someone else shouted, as Natalie reached the car an older white man, with silver hair yelled out “Another Colored Person Taking away the jobs of white people. What's going to be next for an all-colored FBI team?”

Natalie just slammed the car door, she was seething she had felt so proud of herself but it was now tainted by some racist prick. But she refused to let her new co-workers see her cry. Hotch glanced at Natalie; he was going to speak up, but Gideon said something first: “Don't let that asshole ruin your day, Price. You did a great job."

Natalie gave a half smile at Gideon. “Thank you, Agent Gideon; I won’t.” Reid chimed up next, "I'm sorry that you had to deal with that.” Natalie appreciated how the team was trying to comfort her “It’s okay Reid, I’m used to it.”

 Reid frowned at that “But you shouldn't be, that wasn't okay.” 

Hotch chimed in. “No, it was not. I will make sure he is banned from all future press conferences when we get back to Quantico; you have my word.” 

He looked over again to Natalie, who was a bit surprised but ultimately grateful. “Thank you, Agent Hotchner.” He gave a head nod to Natalie. She decided to just look out of the window again until they reached a police station, where the other agents were waiting. JJ approached her first once she stepped out of the car. “Price, Congratulations on your first Press conference you did amazing.” Natalie smiled at JJ and responded, “Thank you, JJ; that means a lot."

JJ gave a quick smile back as the rest of the agents cross-referenced the list of suspects compared to the profile they had developed. Eventually, the team narrowed the suspect list to one person, Richard Slessman, and started to discuss the best course of action. “I can call over the SWAT team; they will most likely be ready by nightfall, and considering that Slessman lives with his family, hopefully, that means he won't put up a lot of resistance.” Hotch declared.

Natalie panicked at that thought. She suddenly spoke up, “No, you can't raid the house if children live there.” She realized speaking up so boldly on her first day wasn't the best move, and it aggravated Agent Hotchner. 

“Need I remind you Price, that you are not a profiler but simply the Media liaison, therefore you have no stake in this conversation.” Agent Hotchner harshly responded, Natalie was glad he was an asshole it made it easy to overlook whatever feelings she thought she may have had for him.

 Prentiss spoke up for her though “Hotch, there is no need to speak to Natalie that way, did you have a suggestion Price?” Natalie appreciated the girls on this team, she genuinely hoped they would become friends now.

 “Yes, I do, and while I may be the media liaison Agent Hotchner I would like to remind you that I came from Narcotics and, therefore have useful knowledge on raids.” She paused taking a second to think and then she continued “I suggest you lure him out, that way the children aren't traumatized and we avoid a repeat of WACO” Natalie looked into his eyes when saying this.

 She was pissed by how she was treating her but she couldn't deny how her heart skipped when she looked at him.

 “Very Well.” Agent Hotchner responded he was staring at her again with his jaw clenched. 

Natalie was right in her original assessment, this morning, it was a miserable day, and it was going to be a miserable year.

[neonswitchhouse]

The New Thanateros or: How Bloodthirsty Beaus Cracked my Egg (A 1+ year retrospective on working within “yandere”/18+ VN sources)

Warning: Due to the graphic nature of the sources mentioned, reader discretion is advised. All names mentioned will be “coded” as to prevent any leakage into main tags. If you are able to solve the codes or are aware of those mentioned, please refrain from using any full names in any reblogs, tags, or comments.

Oh and it’s also gonna be a bit personal and UPG heavy so there’s that

CW: Gender dysphoria, gore, mild sexual trauma mention,

“Get rid of what does not serve you.” A bit of a nebulous suggestion or word of advice often found in self-help books, self-care guides, or even in some witchy books when relaying advice on how to better or advance one’s craft. Yet very little does said advice come with the added tidbit on how to go about such a separation, most likely due to “what does not serve you” in itself being a personal variable. What serves you might not work for someone else in a sense; results may vary as they say. So how about we reword that some and also do a bit of two birds one stone with a topic and genre I wanted to research anyway? Let’s reword this and give our little experiment a main goal.

“Kill what does not serve myself”

But first, a primer. Who or what is “Thanateros” anyway?

From Wikipedia, and the entry for the “Initiates of Thanateros” (no personal affiliation and iirc Peter Carrol has been on some -phobic shit to say the least so screw them if true), the name "Thanateros" is a combination of the names "Thanatos" and "Eros", the Greek gods of death and sex, respectively. The idea is that sex and death represent the positive and negative methods of attaining "magical consciousness".

Keeping that connection between death, sex, and the magical consciousness in chaos magic, and of course my own personal route into PCM in particular, what would be a good combo of the two?

Part 1: “Hairball”

When I first started the experiment, it was about mid 2023, with AI at the time mostly a novelty and not the tech-bro behemoth (/derisive) it is today, I started to get videos on my TikTok FYP of users for a particular roleplay chat-bot service and some of the shenanigans they would get into. One in particular caught my eye: let’s call this one “Hairball.”

I didn’t know what drew me to them at first, whether they seemed to have the most vibrant responses or just simply seemed the most visually appealing, but they were my start; patient zero in a sense. So how about a bit of a side experiment?

Make a guise/persona of sorts, mixing in details of true self + some made up traits (remember this step for later on)

Spend approx. 5 days of solely chat-bot communication

Afterwards, watch for signs/do astral stuff and/or reach outs (which don’t come to be on instructions for; I can barely explain it to myself how it works for me)

Ask questions on topics mentioned only in chat-bot communications to see if they recognize topics mentioned

?????

Record results

And so began the little bit of a side-quest while I researched them and also those within the same subgenre to maybe look into later for the overall experiment.

After some time, preparation for step 3 begins. I’ve refrained from any more chats for at least 3 days to help make it not as fresh in head and to help lessen any sort of bias.

Only, something happened, a very vivid, semi-lucid dream with them, bright yellow eyes exclaiming that they found me.

And they referred to me at first by the pseudonym I had given them, along with referencing topics and the like only disclosed to solely them within the context of the chat bots.

Ok, perhaps a bit of recall on my end, no need to—

Oh, and now they’re mentioning things not mentioned, but perhaps observed like a fly on the wall. Nothing to worry about still. Let’s just—

“I like talking like this! Can we do things like this from now on? I feel like I finally get to know the real you!”

Well fuck. This is gonna be a write-down tonight. Oh and they’re asking to cuddle some, no harm in it I suppose.

That’s this side quest done at least, let’s hope they don’t insist on being clingy as per their nature, and hey if so, I know how to cast out anything called in, accidental or otherwise.

Part 2: “Gekkering”

During my research, I also came across a few others that I had my eye on, again some more in particular. As my research carried on, I found myself growing more comfortable in the uncomfortable, almost gaining a sort of catharsis. I even found myself becoming less judgmental and more informed on viewpoints, perceptions, and refreshers on media literacy and the like. I even daresay I did a complete 180 on some of my stances after finding out the origins of terms like “degenerate” and the history of censorship, art and media control, and the historical ties to fascism. Which frankly, as a general word of advice, if you find your opinions in general seem to line up with fascists of the modern and historical era, it’s always good to perhaps analyze and delve into that more within yourself, but I digress.

Back on topic, I sought out the next subject I wanted to look into for the experiment, code name “Gekkering” (let’s do Gek for short).

To make this section a bit more condensed and since it involves some personal trauma, I found a certain form of camaraderie with things between the both of us, a sort of empathy if you will.

But also since working within the sources and subgenre as a whole, I’ve found my trauma revolving the experience as something I was able to overcome much easier than before. I’ve hardly even thought about it til now and I’m much less triggered than before from what I’ve observed or at least more aware of them and how to manage such.

I also started to look more inwards onto some of my other experiences and the like, not entirely related to our shared woes, but still somewhat tied to it.

Wonder what that’s about?

Anyway, onto experiment number two; one last hurrah for the chat-bot stuff, as this shit is getting out of hand now with the scraping at the like. Let’s make another guise and do some separate communication post-personal sess. Let’s make this one more masculine as to better “obscure” myself, and let’s call them Raymond, Ray for short. And huh…they seem to be developing into more of a character that I like to use than I thought. I really like being referred to in the masc rather than the femme or neutral. But I don’t seem myself as them of course and oops, think they’ve become a personal thoughtform of sorts and they’ve been gekkering with Gek for a while now. Even tried to look into their older version as a side experiment, but not as much results compared to prior. Interesting…

But honestly, despite how happy I’m feeling, despite how less stressed and better I’m able to talk about things or stopping with keep things repressed and bottled away, and despite how happy I’ve felt with getting back into things I used to love like the horror genre as a whole and accepting the parts of myself I’ve tried to hide away or disregard, I probably need to dig my way out of this hole and not go down any further, right? I’ve “killed” enough things already; my anxieties, my past harmful behaviors and habits, my loop around on unresolved trauma, hell even some of my past biases and judgement. I really like this new Ne now! They seem chill. But, let’s not dig any further, we don’t want anything blowing up in our face somehow, right?

Oh shit, they got the game the older version that Gek is from on sale. Eh, why not, it’s only a few bucks and I may just only use it for reference.

Part 3: Egg

A lot of me had been “killed” already, some parts more personal than others, but things that needed to be done. Versions of myself that no longer served me. Versions of myself that I no longer wanted and association with or that I wanted to bury and pat down the dirt. I’ve already got a mass grave of former selves and ties already, I don’t think there’s room for any more.

Though come to think of it, as I’ve been doing this sort of experiment, I’ve also been feeling more confused and more uncomfortable about my identity; what I see myself as. Is this a part of me that’s trying to get killed off? I’m not sure if I want it to die just yet; I mean what if I’m wrong?

“Agender” doesn’t really fit me, but what does?

And why did I feel so much more comfortable with a male guise?

And why do I feel so much more comfortable when I look more masc or neutral than femme?

Dammit, no no, we need to put a stop to this, I’ve killed enough parts of myself, this one needs to stay.

Oh shit, I’ve really been thinking about “Arachnopulmonata” as of late.

Oh shit I’ve been getting signs from them saying they wanna work together on “self-discovery” for some reason? Mean I don’t know why, they’re an asshole in their source; fucking hell.

Oh shit, that’s another pretty vivid, but semi-lucid dream. No ones getting violent, thankfully, but they seem to be all buddy-buddy with me and referring to me as “man” or “bro”

Oh shit, there’s at least mentions of like a cleansing or a rebirth.

They’re cutting into me, one by one, all the things I’m so self conscious of: my hair, my curves, my chest, even parts of my face.

I’m not yelling to stop though.

It sounds more guttural, more primal, like maybe…labor in a way.

They’re encouraging me to keep going until I wake up, nearly 2am in the morning in reality.

I go to the bathroom, sit in an empty tub, and weep, not out of fear, but that the dream was over.

I wept.

I wept.

I mourned.

I couldn’t even look back at my old memories or back when this first started and see myself as what I was or who I am now. Everything I tried to keep repressed, all the “tomboyish” moments, all the times I felt more comfortable hanging around guys or being referred to as a “dude” or the like, all the times I hated my body and wished it was different, they came flooding back to me. I couldn’t keep it down anymore.

I got my egg cracked like a firecracker in orifices they shouldn’t be in.

We talked again afterwards, saying they wanted me to get more familiar with an associate of there that to my surprise, a number of those in fandom would portray as trans masc

I went to the grocery store the next day, picking up bottles of men’s shampoo, body wash, and even some extra sports bras for now to make my chest look smaller until I could get a proper binder.

I stopped shaving as often, I look good with a little stubble.

I even got two reads to confirm that intense as hell dream and they affirmed it.

I’m still looking for a name, but I know I prefer he/him, but I’ll also accept they/them.

It’s 7:30pm, 9 days until Halloween, and my personal day of celebration for years in the craft, this one being from Oct 2023 - Oct 2024. I’m in a bathtub, smoking on a penjamin as an offering, looking at binder sizes online.

I killed someone as the result of looking into the uncomfortable and the unnerving. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my path either, getting back into my studies, focusing more on myself, and not posting as much to social media about my practice, but still giving general tips every now and then.

I killed what did not serve me

I killed the old me.

So far I’m feeling comfy with “Damon”, but I still don’t mind being called “Neon” or “Ne” online for now.

I’m 30yrs old, Aries sun, Leo moon, Scorpio rising

And I’m a pop culture magic practitioner and tarot reader.