#please please let it be that vhs copy please

[dani-r]

I had a moment of remembrance of my crazy childhood (all lives and childhoods are crazy, of course, but, please, let it be known that I had a really crazy one). This little story is about my first and last attempt at stardom as a child actor on screen. It has some exciting twists! Bear with me, is long-ish, but is one of my favourite “weird dani anecdotes” to tell at parties. Here, for you all, with 5 minute drawings!

My brother’s father (not the same father, but the same mom) had lots of friends from the independent film scene here and one of them needed children of four or five years old for a short film he was directing. So mom, seeing already a histrionic and bombastic nature in her eldest child, saw it as an opportunity to cultivate that inclination.

So she took me to the studio where they were going to film the scene, it was in San Telmo, one of the oldest neighbourhoods of Buenos Aires. I remember it so clearly: looking around, fascinated by the old colonial buildings and asking about the narrow, so narrow streets, and mom telling me that this place was old, hundreds of years old, so the streets are narrow and short, so different from our block. Love at first sight. To this day my favourite place in the city.

We arrive and my next memory is seeing a group of children with their parents. I remember looking at each other with the caution and distrust a priori that you got when you are five and meet another unknown five year olds. The adults there (now I know that they were the production team) gave us kindergarten uniforms. I was… in awe, it was a private school uniform! Like, the green plane colour ones with a big blue pocket. I was, for some hours, a private school kid. I was looking and touching the uniform completely transfixed on that. In hindsight, seeing how private schools are here, I am so, so glad I had public education from 4 to my 30s —we have great free public schools and universities— but at the time, to me it was a sign of a kid “living large”.

They put us all in a room and I don’t have so much of a memory of that except for three things: I was fascinated by the amount of wires and machines in front of me, the fact that a kind-looking woman with glasses was behind the biggest machine (it was a camera) and that mom was not there (we knew, after, that they took all the parents outside the room with the excuse that we could get distracted during the shoot, which, fair. But we will know in the next scene of this story the exact motive, stay tuned, this gets fun).

They put me at the side of a big woman with a trenchcoat and a blond perm that told me to “be calm and look like this:” and made an expression of worry, with her hands together in front of her. I, of course, saw that and put my hands together exactly like hers, and nothing more. In five year old Dani’s defence, I saw the hands! And she told me to look like her! Technically, I was right. So I stayed like that and nobody noticed the duplication of poses.

And then. Silence. I remember the silence. And then, shouts, so many shouts, a big guy, with a leather jacket, comes fast, shouting at us so much and shaking a gun (I was aware, via television and some neighbours, of dangerous dudes with guns). I was confused, and everything was so fast. 

Suddenly that same shouting guy grabs me by the shoulder, manhandles me and I feel the gun on my temple. I remember, crystal clear, to be… confused. Just, utterly confused. Because in front of me were the big cameras, and the people there were exactly the same as before, the same expressions and attitudes, like nothing was happening out of the ordinary. So it felt weird, none of them reacting like the ones behind me. So I just... stood there, in the hands of the noisy guy, with a gun on my head. 

Next thing I remember is my mom being furious. And telling me that what they did was an awful, unethical thing to do and that they were “unas basuras, tremendos hijos de remil puta” [garbage people, fucking sons of bitches]. That they did that to extract an expression of fear out of me, instead of telling me to act. She let them have it, I can tell you.

She never spoke again with the guy, but I asked her for a long time about that “movie I was at” that she got a copy years later and I was able to see it, finaly, when I was ten. It was crazy seeing myself in a moving image (I mean, the next time in my life that I get filmed at will be at 14, filming was expensive before smartphones and nobody in my family owned a home camera or such). I saw myself as a super small child, in a 2 minute scene inside a very pretentious and shitty short film, being used as a hostage. And let me tell you: It was hilarious, priceless, absolutely incredible. Because the scene is ruined by my expression. There is a close up of my face and the gun, and I am… kind of smiling, a confused and completely out of place smile. I am so bemused by all that there is no fear, only confusion. I am smiling with a fucking gun on my temple. A bewildered five year old being manhandled and threatened on camera making a face of "huh?". I ruined everything for them. They had one shot of that, they had to use it. 

The lesson of the story: If you ever film with kids, they are not stupid, but you may be (if you do things like this). Just explain to them about acting, about pretending. Practise if you want a less “play pretend” act and more of a subtle thing. Don’t obscure your intentions, not only because is a shitty thing to do —and this dude was lucky that I was already a weird child, for a less weird child this could have been a traumatic experience— but also because the scene is going to be absolutely fucking ruined and it will be funny as hell. 

Today mom is bringing what we think is the actual vhs with the short film. I am getting next week the equipment to be able to see if she’s right. I wish so hard for it to be that shitty short film, because I will have finally the greatest treasure I desire since there is web 2.0: the best profile picture ever, forever.

[mingsolo]

pause + play

wonwoo x reader (f) / g: meet cute, 90s au, fluff, strangers to lovers / wc: 4k / warnings: cursing, some nipple action, mingyu being a sl*t, / r: nc17

written for Now, That's 90s! collab, hosted by @beomcoups and I! ngI struggled not because I couldn't write this one, but because life is kicking my ass and I couldn't find the time to really sit and think through it... anyways it turned out pretty cute please read if you can <3

A drop of sweat rolled down from your forehead, you blew some air to your face but of course it was hot and it made you dizzy. “Is this thing even on?.” you shouted from the other corner of the shop, to your co-worker, Mingyu.

You stood under the AC trying to feel if there was actually cool air coming from it but you couldn’t feel but a weak wave of hot air over you. 

“Yeah, that thing is better off.” Mingyu shouted back, where he was lining up tapes in the kids section. “By the way, could you help me check the return box? There’s some tapes missing here, they should be there.” 

You waved out, going to the returns box at the entrance of the store. A few tapes were in, three Toy Story 2, one Tarzan and a copy of 10 Things I Hate About You along with two Armageddon at the bottom. You placed the movies on the counter as Mingyu was approaching you. “We need to rewind them first, all of them!” You say inspecting the tapes, “Geez, why do they never do it?.” 

Mingyu laughs and shakes his head. “The sign even says “Please” on it, right?.” He taps the hardcover of the vhs box, where “Please rewind before returning” signs reads on it.

“And it's so hot to be in the rewind room!.” you nag once more, taking the tapes with both arms and dragging your feet to the back of the store and rewind the tapes before someone comes looking for them. Mingyu returns to his previous spot on the kids section, not without laughing at you first. 

Despite the whole minute that it took you to get there, you are now placing the tapes into the machine, leaving the door open so some of the air could get in, the small and dark room feels suffocating just by being two steps inside it. In the speakers of the store, the faint sound of Genie In a Bottle plays on and you start humming, partly because you have the song stuck in your head thanks to Mingyu playing the cd over and over when he is on shift, and because it somehow helps the task be a little less tedious.

While on it, you hear the bells ringing meaning a customer has come to the store. You peek out to see a familiar tall figure enter, waving his way in walking directly towards the back where Mingyu was at the kids section.

“Hey!” you heard the guy saying until he disappeared from your line of sight. You tried to peek out more but it won’t be possible without you stepping out of the room, so you hurried up the process to get another glance before he’s out.

In the month you have been working there, you have seen this guy come in at least once a week. You were sure he was Mingyu’s friend as he always walked directly towards him or looked for him especially after picking up some tapes. The past times he had come with you on shift without Mingyu, you had the bad luck of always doing something like rewinding tapes or in the bathroom, never getting the chance to even greet him when he entered the store.

One thing for sure, he was cute as hell. Cat like eyes and thin defined lips, huge black frames on his face, making it look smaller. And you noticed only by getting little glimpses of him, as he was always in a rush or something, never staying more than five minutes. You thought of asking Mingyu who he was but decided not to as you were still new in the store and even if you liked and had fun working with him, Mingyu has proven to be the teasing type, and he wouldn’t let you work in peace if you dare asking him about this other guy.

Just as you were cursing at Armageddon for rewinding so slowly, you heard them saying goodbyes and the chiming doorbell announcing he was out. 

With a sigh you rolled your eyes and finished your task without hurry, hoping the cat boy would come back soon and you were luckily enough to be on the counter to greet him. 

.

.

.

Today was a Monday, and the week promised to be a quiet one. Not many new releases came to the store yet so customers wandered a little bit before getting out, or just asking when would you stock Sleepy Hollow or why you had so few copies of The Sixth Sense. You tried your best to give every customer a smile at the beginning but after a month of getting the same questions over and over, you just shrugged and advised people to come back later, and maybe the previous customer had brought it back by then. 

Mingyu was way better with customers, both girls and guys. ‘I’ll get it ready and rewinded this afternoon for you’ he said with a wink to a middle aged lady, who shamelessly smiled and flirted with him while her kid smudged chocolate from the bar he was eating on a copy of Inspector Gadget.

“Great, now I have to clean that.” you glared at Mingyu as he saved the piece of paper with the woman’s number on his back pocket once she and the chocolate kid were gone. “I swear to God I’ve seen her come in with her husband.” you arch your eyebrows at him. 

“That doesn’t seem like a me problem.” He shot gun fingers at you and got back to his task on the counter, where a few other ladies waited for him.

You chuckled and started spraying windex on Mathew Broderick’s face covered in chocolate, laughing at how Mingyu flirted shamelessly with every single one of them, all at once, but they didn’t seem to mind. 

Once good ol’ Mathew’s face was clean you left the tape back on the shelf, when you heard the bell ring. “Y/n, can you help?” Mingyu hurried to tell you, he was now surrounded by the women as he showed them a copy of Between Your Legs animatedly. “This one is from our exclusive foreign section, so exotic! And the plot is fascinating…” He looked at the ceiling and the ladies followed.

You shook your head and got up from where you were squatting, seeing the tall figure of cat-boy coming through the door. He looked at the commotion on the counter and figured out Mingyu was busy at the moment. He hesitated for a second before turning back ready to head out when you sprinted towards him, shouting “HI!! WELCOME IN!” maybe a little too enthusiastically. 

“H-hi,” he said back, a little startled by your shouting. Mingyu also looked up to you for a moment, but he was quickly back to answering curious questions from his little fan club. “Uhm, I’ll be back later when-”

“No! Please, I know Mingyu usually helps you out but please tell me what can I do for you?,” you smiled with pressed lips and your voice two tones higher than how you usually speak, but you couldn’t help it. Seeing him in front of you confirmed your suspicions, he was stupidly handsome, freakingly hot even behind those thick square glasses. His hoodie smells like coffee and the cap he was wearing backwards made the earring on his left ear seem more dangly. 

“I really would prefer to wait for Mingyu…” 

“Nonsense!” you guided him towards a free counter next to where Mingyu and his harem were discussing Between Your Legs, quickly putting some space between you two before you would get inappropriately close and start sniffing his sweater, your eyes shining brightly as you spotted cat hairs on them. 

God he is so hot for a nerd!!!

“So, what can I do for you today, I’m Y/n by the way,” you smiled again and you could swear you creeped him out by the way he started sweating. It was hot as hell inside but still, his ears turned red and the tapes he was carrying under his arm were starting to slip from his grip. He quickly put them in the pocket of his hoodie, smiling awkwardly and glancing at Mingyu behind his frames. 

You glanced at Mingyu too, who began chuckling, losing for a moment his track on the plot of the movie he was explaining. 

“Are you going to return those?” you extended your hand but he stood still, tapes still packed into his hoodie. “No?,” you asked again. He opened his mouth briefly but smacked his lips loudly looking at the ceiling. 

He looked at Mingyu and his expression changed from mortified to annoyed. He bit his cheek and took a deep breath before taking out the tapes and laying them one on top of another before you. 

Night of the Giving Head, A Beautiful Behind, Yank my Doodle! It's a Dandy!, and Throbin Hood laid on the counter before you.

There was a few seconds of silence, only broken up by Mingyu’s suppressed wheeze. You cleared your throat lightly, taking the tapes and checking if they were rewinded. “Oh a rewinder, that’s unusual!” you chuckled dryly not really knowing how to break the wall of ice that suddenly appeared in front of you.

“I didn’t watch them,” He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact. “That’s why they are- anyway.” He sighed and stopped, releasing it seemed like he was making up excuses for not one in particular. 

“You don’t have to explain,” You tried to sound friendly and not make a big deal, but you had so many questions and this selection was the last thing you expected to see him with. “We are a judging free video store,” the words coming out mechanically as you remembered the training video Mingyu played for you once on your first day.

“Yeah…It’s not… Can we please get this over with quickly?,” He returned to his mortified expression and you nodded quickly annotating the returns on the logbook. “Thanks,” He smiled awkwardly at you before tapping the counter once, glancing quickly at Mingyu one more time before sprinting out.

“He’s going to murder me, but oh god, it was worth it!”

Mingyu was now smiling ear to ear, waving goodbye to the last girl that visited the shop for the day, her phone number written on his palm. “I got no more sticky notes left,” he said before sticking his hand out to her.

“Yeah that was… I didn’t even know we had these.” you were sweeping the floors as the store was about to close, keeping yourself busy for the rest of the day still thinking about the Night of The Giving Head cover inside your mind. “Wait, he’s your friend, does he only watch porn?.” 

Mingyu laughed loudly, helping you out by taking the trash bags out of the bins and emptied them in one big plastic bag. “Maybe, why do you ask?” he arched his eyebrows at you. 

“No reason, it was just- he doesn’t look like the porn addict type.” 

Mingyu laughed louder. “Wait till I tell him you think he’s a porn addict!” He collected the dust you were sweeping onto the plastic bag, making a knot and throwing it on his shoulders. 

“Wait! Why would you tell him that?!” 

“No reason…” he smirked, walking outside to take out the trash. 

.

.

.

The next week the store got busier than usual, so Mingyu and you barely got to chat with each other about cat-boy or anything really. He had also switched shifts to train a new employee, a younger guy, probably a highschooler, who he spent most of the time in the mornings, leaving you alone to take care of the closing shift. 

Saturday came quickly, and you were alone in the shop. Lights were almost all out, and you were finishing stocking some new tapes that came that afternoon, the last task before officially closing. 

Somehow the humid air was insufferable even by night time, so you were sweating bullets over the thick fabric of your uniform shirt. You couldn’t believe they made you wear this in this hot weather, but alas, you were transpiring and melting under it. 

As you finished putting the tapes on their respective shelfs, you walked towards the bathroom where you had a spare shirt, not before turning the volume of the radio a little, you played music a lot in the shop and the customers seemed to like your taste more like Mingyu’s.

Once there, humming to Bills Bills Bills, you were looking for your spare shirt when you noticed you it wasn’t there. “What the-?” you cursed under your breath, sure you had one hanging on the stall reserved for staff. One glance at the sweaty uniform shirt you just took off and you knew you won’t be wearing that again. “Come on, I already put roll-on….” you whined. Then you remembered there were a couple of uniform shirts in the lockers, maybe too big for you but that would do for today and you will return them tomorrow. 

And so you were signing,

Can you pay my telephone bills?, 

Can you pay my automo’ bills? 

If you did, maybe we could chill…. 

When suddenly the tall figure of cat-boy appeared in front of you right by the counter. He stared. And you stared back. And his eyes stayed on your face for a a few seconds, but they quickly drifted a little down, on your lace see through bra, nonetheless.

“What the fuck?!” you shouted, sprinting towards the locker room. 

“Im sorry! I knocked, and the lights were on…. I thought…” you could hear him speak but there was a high ringing pitch in your ears that made his voice fade away as you took one of the spare uniform shirts and slipped in over your head. “The fuck you needed to wear a see through one today, huh?!” you covered your face with both palms.

“I’m sorry… I better go…”

You heard footsteps and shouted “No!” back but when you were out you could only see his back walk out the door.

You blew raspberries, feeling insufferably hot under the hot fabric of the oversized uniform shirt, that covered you like a circus carp. “Too much for our second encounter, cat-boy.” 

.

.

.

The next day you got to the store a little early, trying to catch Mingyu before he left for the day, and to your surprise, he was waiting for you.

“A nipple piercing!” 

“Good afternoon to you too!” you sighed, walking towards the locker room with Mingyu’s tail wagging at your ankles. “And how could he notice that?! It was dark!” you threw your backpack at your locker, huffing and puffing, ignoring Mingyu’s curious eyes.

“I guess he was really paying attention,” he teased. You shot him a glare and he raised his arms signaling peace. “Hey, don’t be mad that he told me, I’m his best friend and well, he actually came looking for you, how could he know you liked walking around the store naked when you were on shift alone?” 

“I-wasn’t-naked.” you slapped the locker room shut. “Wait… he came looking out for me?”

Mingyu wiggled his eyebrows in response. 

“Tell me everything, or else.”

“He likes you, duh.” Mingyu moved toward his locker, pretending to roam for something but you knew there wasn’t anything there. “He has had his eyes on you, since the first day he saw you working here.”

“But why hasn't he talked to me? He always comes in and it’s gone in a second.” 

Mingyu clicked his tongue. “He had a bad break up two years ago, and honestly he’s pretty shy, maybe that’s why we are such good friends, we balance each other…” you crossed your arms signaling he was deviating from the topic. “... So he wasn’t sure how to approach you, he has been coming here asking me to be a wingman but I refused, I was trying to encourage him so I told him you were going to be alone yesterday.”

You sighed, walking out the locker room with Mingyu behind you, ready to get off.

“Want me to tell W-”

“NOO!” you shouted, making the couple of customers in the store turn their heads at you. “Don’t tell me his name, I want him to tell me when he finally comes and talks to me.”

Mingyu chuckled and nodded, messing your head a little in sign of encouragement. “Get him, tiger. I’ll pass the note out.” He winked and you shrugged as he walked out the store.

Needless to say, all the way to the evening your stomach was swirling inside you. You jumped a little every time the doorbell chimed, and it sank back to your stomach everytime cat-boy wasn’t the one entering.

It was almost seven and you were waving goodbye to the last customer of the day before you changed the sign from open to closed, when you heard the bell one more time. 

The couple of teens walked past cat-boy as he entered the store and they walked out. You could hear loud stomps inside your chest, and you were pretty sure they were so loud he could hear them too. You looked at the mirror wall to your left, and despite being a few feet away you could spot the newest shades of red adorning your face. 

As he walked closer, you smiled shyly, spotting the same color on him too.

“Hey,” he waved so tiny that you felt like your body was becoming butter, cause despite standing up, you felt melted, all over the floor. 

“Hi,” you replied back, not knowing what to say really. Dissociating a little from the awkwardness you focused on him. All of him. His fluffy hair, not hiding under a cap this time. The black thick frames. He was wearing a black sweater, a turtle neck one. Few noticeable white hairs on it. You remembered marshmallow, your cat, and smiled without noticing. 

“Y/n,?” you heard his voice crack, noticing you smiling.

“Sorry! Seeing the cat hair on your sweater reminded me of mine.”

“You have cats?” his eyes became a little bigger. “Me too!”

“Yeah.. I can tell by the cat hair,” you chuckled.

“Right…” he scratched the back of his head. “Well I have a couple.. A few.” 

“I love cats! I only have marshmallow because my landlord doesn’t let me have more, but one day I will!” you were glad you mentioned the cat hair cause this gave you a shot to talk more comfortably. “By the way, did Mingyu tell you my name?”

“I asked him, the first day I saw you here working.”

“Not fair, I didn't let him tell me yours.”

“Huh?” He arched his eyebrows, puzzled. 

“He told me you came looking for me yesterday… Sorry you find me like that, I swear I don’t usually walk around naked when I’m alone here…”

He laughed. “Mingyu told me you probably did.”

You scoffed. “He’s the whore not I.” 

“Can’t defend him from that,” He lowered his head a little, “Sorry I told him about your… well I was frantic after seeing you like that and ran straight to his dorm, I was too shocked I guess, I wasn’t trying to be a creep.”

“And what about the pornos? Night of the Giving Head, seriously?” 

“That was Mingyu! He dropped them at my dorm the night before telling me I should distract myself from being a coward and not talk to you…” He speaked fast and you were trying to follow up. “I swear I didn’t watched them, I tried, but they were too tacky”

“There’s tasteful porn?” you laughed.

“There should be… somewhere” he laughed back. 

“Bet the bastard wanted you to return them so I could catch you myself!” 

“He a hundred percent did.” 

There was a moment of silence after the laugh, and you felt like staring at the floor because looking at him was becoming addicting too quickly. 

“Want me to help you close? I want you to walk out with me for a while, maybe get some coffee?” He suddenly speaks, and you snap out of the mental image of you two sitting on your couch, a few cats around. 

“Uh- well I just need to take out the trash and I’m ready, I- would love that,” He smiles from ear to ear and stands straight, making you notice he’s like, really really tall. 

“I’ll help you with that, be ready when I come back!” He sprinted towards the entrance where the two plastic bags laid one beside the other and took them out. You run towards the bathroom as soon as he’s out, changing your ugly uniform shirt into your spare one, feeling relieved when you notice is there this time. After putting roll on, combing your hair a little and putting some perfume you walk out, finding him waiting for you near the entrance.

He asks if he can wash his hands and once that’s done you close up, and you start walking beside him to nowhere in particular. 

You suggest walking to your recent favorite spot, a part cafe, part flower shop near your apartment. Walking there you talk about your studies, the tedious but fun times at the video store, his job at the library (he was such a nerd!), his and your cat, about everything and nothing in particular, and time just flew by so quickly.

“This is so nice, I didn’t even notice the hour!” you say checking the casio watch on your wrist. And he does the same. 

“Let me walk you home, I would feel bad by letting you take a cab at this hour.”

“It’s not far away…” you object but he insists. “Fine, but just by the door, what if you are indeed a creep or something!” He pouts and gives you the stink eye. You laughed, delighted how quickly you became comfortable with each other.

Once at your door you ask him to give you his palm. “I learned this trick from our dear Gyu,” you say, taking out a sharpie pen from your backpack and writing your number on his palm. “There, call me as soon as you get home, I’m not done talking to you.”

You thanked him for the coffee and sprinted towards your complex door without letting him say anything else. 

A quarter to eleven, your phone starts ringing. 

Grabbing the cordless phone from its base and throwing yourself over your bed you answer. “Hello?,” 

“I was about to tell you my name and ask you on a proper date,” you heard his shaky voice from the other line. He must have literally run or sprinted towards his own apartment. “But you ran away.” 

You smiled, twirling your hair, eyes closed remembering every moment since you closed the video store a few hours ago.

“Y/n?,” 

“Not yet cat-boy, I want you to tell me only after you first kiss me.” A few moments of silence before he speaks again, you can’t see him but you know he’s smiling too.

“Deal, then I won’t be cat-boy much longer.”

@mingsolo please don't repost/translate to any sites.

[lifeandtimesoftrying]

THERE IS A RECORDING OF AS YOU LIKE IT (1996)

Breaking news!! Extra, extra, read all about it!!! You may have been pictures of David Tennant such as this one:

but upon trying to find a way to watch the production this is from, been told that there's no way to do so. And this is partially true: there is no copy of this floating around on the internet, and no DVDs have been released. BUT! Not all is lost! @raining-stars-somewhere-else and I have been investigating, and there is a recording of As You Like It (1996) housed in the archives of the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust. According to their website, there is a VHS tape and two DVDs (though one of them stops playing halfway through). There are no digital copies of available to the public, but you can go to their reading room for free and access their archives that way. Neither my fellow detective nor I have ever been, so we're not sure exactly how it works, but we believe that you can watch the archived video recordings so long as you're in-person. Unfortunately, we cannot get there ourselves, but we're sharing what we know in hopes that someone who reads this can do some on-the-ground reconnaissance. According to the Shakespeare Birthplace Trust's website, the reading room is located "on Guild Street to the rear of the Shakespeare Centre, Stratford-upon-Avon, CV37 6QW" in England. If you find anything new, please let us know, and if you want to remain anonymous we can do that. Good luck everyone!!!

relevant links:

Shakespeare Birthplace Trust's home page

Archive page for the recording

Information about the Reading Room

RSC's page for the performance (this is where the picture is from, and has information about the cast and crew)

[northern-loner]

"Please, just call me Zero." HOLY SHITTTTT

WE WERE RIGHT WE WERE RIGHT THE CHRONICLE 0 CHARACTER IS JUST NAMED ZERO. ZERO ROADS LETS GOOOOOO

ALSO THE ENDING MESSAGE ON THE VHS COPY WHAT THE HELL?????

"This is your experiment now. Communication is key. You will need each other." IS THE REST OF GENERATION 1 MEANT TO BE AN ARG???

[justagalwhowrites]

Sorry I've been posting a lot today, I promise I'll STFU after this until The Savage and the Sanctuary is ready, but it's just been a weird time and I'm feeling weird and I think there's a lot of that going around?

I haven't ever spent much time thinking about whether or not I should be in fandom. I've always loved things deeply and intensely to the point of obsession, from books I read until they fell apart to the VHS copies of Star Wars I wore out in childhood, I've kind of always been this way. I didn't think I'd ever grow out of it. Maybe I was supposed to and I missed that boat, I don't know.

Whatever the reason, here I am, obsessing yet again, this time over Joel Miller and Din Djarin and Francisco Morales and Oberyn Martell and so many other characters brought to life by an incredibly talented artist. But I wanted to take a moment and thank you lovely people for obsessing alongside me. Fandom, as it happens, is way more fun when there are people in it with you willingly instead of dragged along. I feel very blessed to share this space with so many kind, thoughtful and creative fellow fans and I'm so thankful that you've let me spend time here with you.

I know things are odd right now. But I know we can take care of each other through it, too. Please take a moment to be kind today - be it to yourself, to a stranger on the street, to someone here on good ol' Tumblr dot com - and try to spread a little love if you feel up for it. I think it would make our favorite actor smile if you did.

In the meantime, I'm trying to navigate my own stuff. But I applied for graduate school and bought myself flowers today at work so there will at least be something in bloom around here for a little while, anyway.

Thank you for being here, thank you for being you, and take care of yourselves out there.

Love you!

[waratah-moon]

I Think We're Alone Now

Mom and Dad finally get some alone time. Smutty addition to Gremlin - takes place during moment 3. Thank you to @lfaewrites for beta reading!

Gremlin / read on ao3 / masterlist

Pairing: Dad!Eddie x Mom!Reader

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: SMUT (oral f receiving, unprotected p in v - let's imagine everyone's been tested and reader is on the pill), established relationship, insecure reader, teen pregnancy (not elaborated on), boyfriend shaped Eddie fluff Steal my work and I will hex you

As soon as you'd gotten to the Mayfield's trailer, Indie had bounded inside straight to the dollhouse Max had set up especially for her in the corner.

You handed Max your daughter's backpack, telling her you had packed her lunchbox and tucked a Care Bears VHS inside the front pocket. “She’s had a bit of a runny nose this morning and she refused to eat breakfast so-“

“Seriously, we’ll be fine." Max knew your deal, you had gone through the same spiel every time you dropped Indie off for the past year. She responded with her regular answer, "you’re like 100 feet away.”

“Don’t hesitate to drop her back, okay?”

“Actually please do hesitate," Eddie was leaning against the doorframe, bouncing his leg. "It’s been ages.”

Of course that's what he was most concerned about. You raised your eyebrows in warning. “Eddie.”

He copied you. “Babe.”

Max grinned. “Don’t worry about it. Pick her up whenever. You two have fun," she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and shut the fly screen.

"Will do, see you later. Bye Gremlin, love you," Eddie called out, dragging you back to your own trailer across the way.

-

It always took a while for the worry to ebb away whenever you left your daughter with someone who wasn’t Eddie. Even though Max had been regularly looking after her for the better part of a year and you trusted her completely, part of you was still worried something would happen.

Eddie was the complete opposite, allowing common sense to reign. He knew that Mayfield and your daughter were only in the trailer opposite, literally 100 feet away. And he trusted that Mayfield would bring her straight back if something happened that she couldn’t handle. But he also knew that Mayfield could handle a lot.

Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist, placing a kiss on your forehead. "Baby they’ll be fine, they always are. How about I make popcorn and we can watch that dumb mermaid movie you love."

"You said you liked Splash ," you mumbled against his chest. You could hear the steady lub-dub of his heart and you were enjoying the way he was stroking your hair.

"I like Daryl Hannah's ass." He quickly added, "not as much as I like yours, though. You know I love your ass. Hey, maybe we could get you a mermaid tail.”

You rolled your eyes, but managed a smile.

-

Eddie made it halfway through the movie before he put the moves on you. It started with the classic yawn and arm around the shoulder, which quickly turned into groping your breast through the thin fabric of your shirt; his breath hitching when he felt that you weren’t wearing a bra.

"Seriously?"

"I almost made it a whole hour, are you proud of me?"

"Very."

"Great, can we have sex now please?"

He phrased it so stupidly, like a horny teenager begging to get laid, but it still managed to give you butterflies. 

You'd been with Eddie for three years, and the insecure girl part of your brain was worried that at any moment the romance would fizzle and die out. It shocked you that even though he'd seen you at your most vulnerable: sick, depressed, pregnant, deep in the throes of childbirth, he still tried to jump your bones every chance he got. You weren't sure how many times he'd have to tell you that all those little moments combined made him love you even more than was humanly possible for you to believe it. 

But horny Eddie made it a little easier to believe. Horny Eddie made you feel wanted and desired, which satiated the insecure girl part of your brain for an hour, or two, or a whole night. It depended on the babysitting situation.

It didn’t take more than you climbing onto his lap for him to attach his mouth to yours, groaning deeply when you parted your lips. 

Proper kisses between you two, the kind that weren’t just a peck on the lips or cheek, had become rare since you’d had Indie. Usually they were stolen in the kitchen; you pressed up against the counter while Eddie distracted you from dinner, lasting the amount of time your daughter was preoccupied with the TV. Or they were lazy morning kisses where you kept missing each other's lips because your eyes were full of sleep; the ones that usually ended in muffled giggles as you tried not to wake Indie as she slept in the cot at the end of your bed. But kisses that turned into making out were especially rare and took extra planning. The kisses that had you moaning as you reminded yourselves of the architecture of the other's mouth. The kisses that moved from your lips to your jaw to your neck, inevitably finding their way between your legs.

“Babe, bedroom,” you were already panting, breathless as he trailed his tongue along your jaw. He hummed against your skin, the vibration buzzing deep in your bones, making your toes curl. 

He didn’t need to be told twice, taking your hand and leading you the short distance to the bedroom before he pushed you unceremoniously onto the bed. He pulled off his shirt, and you did the same, also shedding your jeans, as he slotted himself between your legs.

“Pants off,” your fingers deftly unbuckled his belt, tugging the denim down his legs. Normally he’d make a remark about how eager you were, but the truth was he didn’t have it in him; it had been awhile since the two of you had been alone together. His head was clouded with dirty thoughts of you; you naked, you moaning, you screaming his name, you swallowing him whole.

His fingers trailed down your body, stopping to circle your pebbled nipples, fluttering over the expanse of your stomach before they found their way between your legs; tracing your cotton covered slit.

“Eddie,” you breathed, pushing your hips up, his touch far too delicate for your liking.

He pushed the material aside, dipping two fingers between your folds and smirked when he found you wet. “What do you want, sweetheart?” You knew exactly what he meant; fingers or mouth.

“Your mouth. Please,” you couldn’t help whining as he dragged your panties down your thighs, exposing your soaking cunt to the cool air.

He dove between your legs like a man starved. It had been much too long, in Eddie’s humble opinion, since he’d gotten to taste you. Far too long since he’d gotten to hear the little whimpers of pleasure and feel your hips buck as he nibbled, sucked, and licked you to your peak.

Just as the familiar pressure started building in the pit of your stomach, a loud series of knocks came from the front door.

"No," Eddie groaned, the vibrations sent a delicious prickle through your body. "Can we just ignore it and wait for them to go away?"

It was really hard to concentrate when his nose was purposely rubbing against your clit. You exhaled, trying to distract yourself from the subtle heat in your belly. "It might be Max."

"It might not be," he'd moved to kissing the crease in your thigh, his teeth and lips gently nipping the skin.

"You know Indie had a runny nose this morning."

"Pretty sure that's normal. They don't call them snot-nosed kids for no reason."

"Eddie,” you pushed his shoulder with your foot.

He huffed, reluctantly removing his head from between your thighs. "Fine. But someone better be dying."

"EDDIE!"

"You know what I mean," he pulled on a pair of sweat pants and grabbed his tee-shirt before heading to the front door.

-

You flopped your head back on the pillow, and counted the green glow in the dark stars Eddie had stuck on the ceiling in the shape of Andromeda. 5 big stars, 11 little ones. Eddie had chosen that constellation, saying he’d found it in a book on astronomy in the library one day and decided the stars needed a shape. He said that Andromeda was the most beautiful woman in all of ancient Greece and the constellation was fitting as you were even more beautiful than her; a fact which Eddie was very obviously unbiased about. 

You heard the front door open and Eddie’s pissed voice. Okay, so it wasn’t Max at the door. You couldn’t hear any words, your ears only picking up on muffled voices. From his tone you guessed Eddie was attempting to end the conversation, when you suddenly hear a name you hated in high school: Shelley Keibler. That bitch that ruined your chance of becoming Homecoming Queen in senior year when she rigged the vote in her favour. Your mood suddenly soured.

The door slammed shut and footsteps made their way towards the bedroom. You sat up as Eddie walked in, pulling off his tee-shirt as he made his way over to the bed. “Who was at the door?”

“Dustin,” he collapsed against you, his hands finding purchase on your hips.

“The freshman who joined Hellfire? Why was he talking about Shelley Keibler?” 

He groaned, his cheek flat against your bare stomach. There were other things he wanted to be doing that did not involve discussing a girl he knew you hated from high school. “He said she was flirting with me last week.”

You raised your eyebrow, “was she?”

“Yep,” he kissed the skin next to your navel, his fingers edging between your thighs. You clamped your legs shut and he frowned. “What?”

“Why was Shelley Keibler flirting with you?”

Eddie looked up at you through dark lashes, grinning knowingly. “Are you jealous?”

You scoffed, “of that bitch? ‘Course not.” He could always tell when you were lying, not that you were doing a good job of hiding it.

“Aw, baby,” he pouted, moving his way up your body. “She thought $20 for half an ounce was too steep. Tried to flatter her way into a discount.”

“Did she get one?”

“No. I made an extra $10 and bought you flowers,” he reached your face, planting a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Oh,” you looked over at your dresser where a vase of gerberas sat. They were beginning to wilt, but you couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away. He’d come home one day last week with them hidden behind his back, presenting the bunch to you for no reason whatsoever. He’d said he’d gotten them “because you deserve something almost as pretty as you."

He cupped your cheek, turning your face so you were looking in his eyes. “You know I love you, right? More than anything,” he tugged on your bottom lip with his thumb to stop you from biting it. “I love our life together. I love our little family. You’re it for me, sweetheart. I don’t want anyone else.”

“Eds,” you started, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. As you moved to place a kiss on the closest part of his skin you could reach, his wrist, his hands moved to grip your thighs.

“Now can we please fuck? I’ve been thinking about railing you all week.”

You shut your eyes, the tears instantly drying. “Really? You were being so sweet and then you had to go and ruin it.”

“I’ll ruin you,” he countered, a toothy grin contradicting the dirty undertones of his words. 

“I’d like to see you try.” You knew he could do it easily. He’d done it so many times before; left you a blathering cock drunk mess as he coaxed yet another orgasm from your shaking body. But Eddie loved a challenge and you knew how to tease him to get what you wanted.

“Are you doubting my abilities?” His palms splayed against your thighs, spreading them open so he could admire your glistening cunt. “Still wet?”

He used two fingers to part your folds, watching as a mixture of your arousal and his saliva dripped onto the sheets below. “I really didn’t mean to edge you before. Fucking Henderson ruins everything.” He pursed his lips as he decided his next move, his thumb putting the slightest amount of pressure on your clit. “I reckon you’ve earned an orgasm, don’t you think?”

“Yes,” you moved your hips, hoping to create some friction against his hand. 

He obliged, sinking two fingers deep inside. You gasped when he curled them upwards, hitting just the right spot that ignited a fire in your belly. 

Eddie knew exactly how your body worked, he’d tested every set of moves on you over the years and gotten the right combination that had you twisting and squirming beneath his hands. He attached his lips to your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue, causing delicious white hot pain to sear down your legs, leaving pins and needles in your feet. 

Your eyes were screwed shut, your chest heaving as you tried to hold off the mounting pressure, you knew the longer you held out, the more intense the pleasure would be. You gripped his hair, needing something to ground you to this moment as your back arched off the bed. You couldn’t take much more, his constant assault leaving your brain foggy and empty, the urge to let go too desperate.

“Fuck, Eddie, yes,” you cried out through shuddering gasps.

The release hit you with an intensity you hadn’t felt in a while, your mind instantly blanking to a white slate as Eddie helped you ride out your high.

“Baby?” His voice sounded muffled, like he was standing at the end of a long, echoing tunnel. “Sweetheart?”

You opened your eyes, the room blurry like you were looking down the lens of an unfocused camera. You rubbed your eyes, feeling tears lining your lashes.

“There she is,” he pushed back your hair, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. Your vision came back to focus and you saw Eddie looking at you in adoration.

“That was intense,” your voice was croaky. It had been a while since you’d had an orgasm that was drawn out and powerful. Usually they were rushed and you never got to fully experience them.

“Are you okay? Do you want some water?”

“I’m good,” you took a second to breath before you reached out to grab his hips. “Very good.” Your hand reached inside his boxers to find he was rock hard. “Did I turn you on?”

“You were doing that sexy gasp you do and moaning my name. Of course that’s going to turn me on.” You allowed your fingertips to trace the prominent vein along the underside of his cock.

“And let me guess, now you want to rail me.”

“Please,” he dragged the word out, peppering your neck with kisses. “Been thinking about it for so long.”

You let out a breathy laugh, pulling his boxers down his thighs. When they slid to his ankles, he kicked them off. “Do you want me to ride you?”

“I’ll cum in a second if you’re on top and that would be tragic for my ego.”

You wrapped your legs around his waist as he dragged the tip of his cock between your folds, groaning at the sweet schlicking sound made by your wetness. Your breath hitched as the head brushed over your sensitive clit, the gasp turning into a moan as he pushed slowly into your cunt.

“Jesus, baby,” he pushed in further and you tried to relax your muscles, feeling your walls fluttering around him. When he finally entered fully in, he stopped for a moment, pressing a kiss to your damp forehead. “God, we’re made for each other.”

It felt heavenly to be so full and stretched out around his cock, and his words were so sweet, eyes hazy with love and admiration for you. But right now you need him to fulfil his promise and fuck you. “Fucking hell, move!”

“Right, sorry sweetheart, you’re just so beautiful and I love seeing you under me-”

You arched your back, grinding your hips against him, “I swear to God.”

He rocked his hips back before slamming forward, your skin slapping together where your bodies met. You gripped onto his back, his skin blanching as your fingertips dug into the corded muscles. 

The pace he’d chosen to set, quick and bruising, would wear anyone out, but he managed to maintain it for a good few minutes before he began panting in your ear. 

“Baby I don’t think I’m going to last much longer with you squeezing around me.”

“I can’t help it, you feel so good,” he was hitting just the right spot deep within you. Your hand moved to your clit, rubbing the sensitive bundle as you felt the tingling pressure building. 

Eddie buried his face in the crook of your neck, nipping at the skin to stop his shuddering breaths. You could feel his thighs begin to tremble, the telltale sign he was close.

Your fingers quickened around your clit, your other hand moving to squeeze his balls as his thrusts moved out of rhythm.

“Oh fuck, babe, shit, yes,” he jerked inside you and you could tell he wouldn’t last much longer. With the way he was gasping in your ear, you wouldn’t either.

“Eddie, baby, just a little longer, I’m almost there,” you breathed, the pressure in your stomach reaching a fever pitch. 

It was his moan, you think, that sent you over the edge. The throaty sob that racked through his entire body. The way his hair was stuck to his forehead, the veins in his neck prominent when he threw his head back as he came. It was angelic in the dirtiest way possible.

He collapsed against you and you rubbed his back as he came down from his high. His skin was hot and clammy, your fingertips drawing abstract shapes along his spine. 

After a few minutes, Eddie grabbed his tee-shirt from the end of the bed, placing it underneath you before he pulled out.

“Ugh, that’s gross,” you groaned, watching as his cum dripped out of you, pooling on the ratty tee-shirt.

“What, it’s going in the wash anyway,” he stood up and stretched, pulling the tee-shirt out and folding it over itself, using the sleeve to wipe himself. He disappeared from the bedroom and you heard the washing machine lid open. 

He did it every time. Even though you’d put a hand towel on the dresser specifically for that purpose, he always went for whatever band tee-shirt he was wearing prior to stripping off. He came back with a damp washcloth and a glass of water, which he placed on your nightstand. You mumbled a “ thanks,” and took a sip, the cold water instantly revitalising you from your post-sex sleepy haze.

“Push up,” he instructed as he wiped the washcloth between your legs and the inside of your thighs. He was gentle, careful not to put too much pressure on the sensitive area as he cleaned. “There. Perfect as always,” he placed a kiss above your pubic bone.

-

The two of you stripped the bed and changed the sheets, loading up the washing machine to full capacity. Then you took a shower together, washing each other as you alternated who stood under the water stream of the shower/tub combo. Eddie bent down, letting you wash his hair with your expensive vanilla coconut shampoo, the scent of which he loved. You then picked out the comfiest clothes in your wardrobe and hoped back in bed.

It was moments like this that you cherished. When the two of you were quiet, both basking in the comfortable afterglow, and enjoying each other’s company. Alone together. Eddie was sitting between your legs as you leant against the headboard, his hands running over the clean floral sheets. He was resting against you, his shoulder blades flush against your chest, his eyes shut as you played with his hair.

You hadn’t even realised your fingers were absentmindedly passing damp strands over one another until he asked, “are you braiding my hair?”

You looked down, a french braid beginning to form on his head. “Huh, apparently I am.”

The first time you had braided his hair was soon after you’d started dating. He’d gotten too drunk after a gig and you hadn’t wanted to spend your night holding his hair back over the toilet, so you’d braided it to keep it out of his face. When he woke up the next morning he told you he loved it and spent the whole morning running his fingers over the bumps. Braids quickly became one of Eddie’s love languages; whenever he got a little too tipsy, sleepy, sick, or he’d had a bad day, he’d beg you to braid his hair. Since Indie had come into your lives, you hadn’t had much time for soft moments between you two, but Eddie still sat in the bathroom and watched you braid your daughter’s hair every morning before you dropped her off at daycare. “Is it pretty?”

“You’re always pretty, Eds,” you knew he liked that answer by the faint hum of approval he made. Not that you were lying, Eddie was beautiful. You reached for a hair tie off the nightstand, securing the braid in his hair. “There you go, baby boy.” You gave the braid a tug, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Wait,” he tilted his head, catching your lips with his, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. You let out a content sigh, your arms draping over his shoulders as you relaxed into the kiss.

“I can’t wait until we have our own room again.”

“I know, it’s been way too long since you’ve woken me up with a BJ.”

“Oh, so that’s what you’re expecting when we move into the new house, huh? Morning head?” 

The pair of you had finally saved up enough money to rent a small two bedroom house, which you were planning on moving into next week. Your current living situation, which involved Indie sleeping in a crib at the end of your bed, was far from ideal. The new house offered you each your own room, something you and Eddie were incredibly excited about. Partly because your daughter talked in her sleep (which you both agreed was adorable, if not somewhat annoying), but mostly because it afforded you the opportunity to have sex whenever you want.

“What can I say, I’m easy to please.”

@geekyfifi @livsters @spacedoutdaydreamer @bailey1212

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[bimobuddy]

As You Wish

SFW Hazbin TK Fic

Lee!Vaggie, Ler!Charlie

Writing this because I'm going to go see the Princess Bride with some friends today, we're dressing up in Medieval style clothing, and one of the actors will actually be there, I'm so freaking excited y'all

Edit: Posting this the day after, my friend ended up picking me up early and I had to stop writing, and then I couldn't finish when I got home because I had a migraine from the overstimulation, but it was fun as hell

This sort of combines Pilot!Vaggie and Canon!Vaggie because I wanted a reason to include her being alive in the 90s to have watched the movie, so this will have some❗Spoilers❗ I know it doesn't make complete sense with the show, but please be nice to me I'm trying 💀

Summary: Vaggie shows Charlie the movie 'Princess Bride,' though the longer the movie goes on, the more she notices her princess getting squirmy and restless, which is a sign that chaos is about to ensue.

Charlie sat on their bed, bouncing excitedly. Vaggie had told her she had a surprise for her, and to go wait for her in their room. The princess didn't know what was in store for her, but she was having a lot of trouble containing her excitement.

When the angel finally did enter the room, she had a small box in her hand and a bag over her shoulder. "Okay, I would have shown you this sooner, but it's hard to get Earth items in Hell. Lucky for us though, I paid a Hellhound to get us a copy of one of my favorite movies." Vaggie held up a VHS tape excitedly. Or as excited as she could express.

Charlie practically leapt off the bed and rushed over, excitedly holding her girlfriend's arm as she bounced. "What is it?" She asked, tilting her head like a confused puppy. "This, Charlie, is a VHS tape, it's how movies were played when I was still alive. The entire thing is recorded on a tape in this box." She answered, waving the tape a little.

She walked more into their room and set the bag down. "I also asked Alastor to summon us a VCR-" She reached into her bag and pulled out a bigger, odd looking box. The cables attached themselves to the TV on the dresser. Instead of buttons, little eyes popped opened and looked up at Vaggie, the slot opening as well, showing sharp teeth inside.

"Are... They supposed to look like that?" Charlie asked, looking over Vaggie's shoulder. The angel sighed, "No, but you know how Alastor is." She smiled a little at Charlie, "Go ahead and get comfy while I figure this out." Charlie grinned and clapped her hands a little, running off to change into pajamas.

Vaggie went to slide the tape into the VCR, only for the thing to start snapping its jaws eagerly for the tape. Worried it would snap it in half, she grabbed its upper jaw to keep it from biting down, and quickly slid the tape in before letting go. The VCR swallowed it, closing its eyes momentarily before opening them again as it started a low, familiar click and whirring sound that Vaggie didn't even know she had missed.

When Charlie came back out and pearched herself up on the bed, Vaggie tilted her head and looked back down at the VCR. "It doesn't have any buttons... Uh... Play?" On command, the TV turned on and started up the movie, signaling to the angel to join her girlfriend on the bed. As previews for other movies started playing, Charlie took Vaggie's hand.

"So... What are we watching?" She asked Vaggie mentally facepalmed. "Oh! Right- It's called the Princess Bride, it's great. So there's this Princess who's in love-" "*Gasp* I'm a Princess in love!!" "*chuckle* With a farm boy named Westley- Oh you know what, just watch the movie, don't ask me to spoil it!" She grinned, gently pinching Charlie around the waist, making her squeak and smack her hand away.

As the movie played, Vaggie found herself leaning forward a little, sitting criss-cross, watching the movie the same way she had when she had first seen it as a kid. The only difference being this time she had someone leaning their full weight against her.

By the time Prince Humperdinck was knocking Westley out, Vaggie felt Charlie start to shift. And shift again. Then a big sigh. This was a pattern she was used to, that also caused her stomach to flutter with anticipation, knowing exactly what Charlie was about to do. "Oh no, don't you dare, Charlie Morningstar-" "Whaaaat, I'm not dohoing anythihing~" Charlie lied, her arms already wrapping around Vaggie's waist.

Vaggie found herself trying not to giggle along with her. "Yehes you are you liar! How are you even bored, this is like the best movie humans have ever made!" "I'm not bored! I've just got energy! And you're right there, how can I resist??" Before Vaggie could argue, Charlie had slipped a hand under her shirt to gently scritch-scratch at her tummy, something she knew the angel couldn't stand.

"Chahaharlie!!" She leaned her head back against the Princess' chest and giggled, her eyes squeezed shut as she kicked out, kicking the sheets into a messy pile at the foot of the bed.

Charlie grinned and started peppering kisses into her girlfriend's neck, causing her giggles to go a higher pitch while she scrunched her shoulders up. "Chahahaharlie nohoho- eek! Quihihihit!"

Vaggie flipped over, trying to wrestle her down, only for Charlie to pull out her demon strength unfairly, pinning her down on her tummy. Charlie sat on her back and started to tickle around her shoulder blades.

"NOHO YOU- AH NOHOHO! CHAHAHAHARLIE!" Vaggie pleaded before buring her face into the sheets to muffle her shrieking laughter and squealing. Her elbows were pinned to her sides and her hand rapidly smacked the bed, unable to handle the sensation.

-FWOOSH-

Charlie couldn't hold back her happy giggles as Vaggie's wings popped out. Ever since she found out, ever since she saw them for the first time, she fell in love with them. She thought they were beautiful. Even through their rocky moment after she found out, when she saw Vaggie approach her with her wings out, she thought they were gorgeous.

She gave the angel beneath her a moment to catch her breath before she ran her fingers through the feathers, earning more muffled squeals while her wings fluttered and tried to fold back up. But the moment they were raised even just slightly, the Princess slipped her hands underneath to scritch at the 'pits' of her wings.

Vaggie immediately cackled loudly into the bed, her legs kicking and drumming behind her. Her wings, no longer under her control, flapped wildly. She turned her face to the side, no longer muffling her laugh. "AHH HAHAHAHA! CHAHA- CHARLIHIE NOITSSOBAD PLEHEHEASE!"

Charlie was already planning on stopping but when she got a face full of feathers as a wing slapped her in the face, she knew it was time to stop. And so she did, getting off of her and laying back down, grinning, proud of herself. When Vaggie didn't immediately join her, she reached over and dragged her over, kissing the top of her head sweetly as she did so.

With their blankets kicked onto the floor now, Vaggie made use of her wings, draping them over Charlie and herself. She looked at the TV and noticed the movie was almost over.

".... Can we restart it?" She asked, looking back up at the princess. Her Princess.

Charlie smiled, pressing their foreheads together.

"As you wish."

[mickeysclubhouse]

Mickey's Safety Club Watch Guide

we all know that mickey mouse clubhouse was the first animated preschool show, but did y'all know that those live action mickey's safety club shorts from the late 80's were actually first in the preschool franchise?

If you grew up in the 80's (or even 90's) then you have probably seen these shorts and/or even owned vhs copies of them.

it's hard to find any copies nowadays, considering that they're now very old, and also probably considered lost media in the mickey & friends franchise.

luckily, a bunch of archival youtube channels have some of the episodes on their channels.

"Playground Fun"

"What to Do at Home"

"Street Safe, Street Smart"

"Halloween Surprises"

"Seat Belt Expert"

then later in 2012, the clubhouse franchise came out with a short series with a similar title, which probably would be a revival of the late 80's series. there's very little episodes of these though. here's all the ones I could find so far:

"Safe Walking"

"Be Escalator Smart!"

"A Safe Car Ride!"

"Let's Ride!"

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free let me know ♡

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 24 thoughts

this episode was quite spooky. because cannibalism is real. but something about scully about to get her head chopped off and boiled seemed more outlandish than all the aliens and the guy that kills people with his shadow or even lizard man eugene tooms!

which is strange. because those things are pretty outlandish! maybe its because it was so much scarier than even evil lizard men.

let’s jump in:

so this is an episode involving more meat. did we need more meat, after the earlier meat processing content in s2 episode 10? many are saying no. but not chris carter!

we begin at a dirt road at night. in the state of arkansas. we have an older man and a younger woman named paula in a car, which is not suspicious at all! /s

oh and now the old man choking? is this natural or did she induce it with some poison. i mean maybe he deserved it, if she did. he takes some pills, so I’m guessing it is due to natural causes. now she beckons him out to the woods. 

into the woods. she says he has to catch her. is she luring him into a Bigfoot trap? we have yet to really see Bigfoot, and maybe he’s hungry. although Bigfoot is more Pacific Northwest than Arkansas, i think.

author's note: we tested negative for bigfoot in this episode :(

oh! this man tripped and is now surrounded by people with flashlights and very cool masks. get axe murdered, fucker.

back in DC! aforementioned fucker has been gone for 10 weeks and scully thinks the higher ups are sending them on a wild goose chase. “i’m not questioning the legitimacy of the case, just their motives in assigning it to us” <- damn, very well spoken by a rightfully suspicious woman

oh, but at the scene, someone saw a fire. and mulder says the fire is “supposed to be the spirits of massacred Indians” OH...

(mentally i was like, please do not be another scary Indigenous story episode. and we did in fact get that. sighs deeply. we can make things scary without making Indigenous people the scary ones! or using the trauma of genocide as a setting for spooky time! well, i'm sure you, dear reader, know that, so i shall not preach to the choir, but i will point out that these thoughts were going through my mind)

“these are only legends, mulder”, says a dismissive scully. and why is her hair looking excellent today. I mean not that it isn’t usually but damn. shoutout to the hair and makeup team.

the place on the side of the road where he went missing had a big fire! could be a bonfire, both parties thought. until mulder remembered a documentary he saw in college...

(hehehehe mulder spent college watching documentaries <3)

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! wow it's been a while since i've gotten to format some text like that. he watched a documentary about an insane asylum in college and it gave him nightmares.

(and this may not be super relevant to his character, but to ME, it is, so i shall note it <3)

he's got the VHS from the doc all loaded up, and presses play on a guy rambling about a fire demon!! who was found in the same spot as the fire mark!!! dun dun dunnn 

(love the implication that he either purchased his own copy of the documentary that gave him nightmares in college, or had to go rent it from the video store. both are wonderful possibilities)

cut to arkansas. mulder is on the scene holding a plastic fork from the ground. wearing his silly sunglasses. lmaooo idk why they make me laugh. what a serious gentleman.

sheriff arrives at the scene. he says the witch’s peg to ward off spirits is normal there and also that the fire mark comes from illegal trash burning. and, as an American i am aware of how Americans love an illegal trash burn. but still. suspicious.

sheriff says the missing man george was chasing women out of town. lovely sounding fellow /s

wife questioning time!! he left her years ago. oh, but tea: the day before he went missing he was going to cite major health violations in the chicken plant! hmm... a cause for murder?

mulder gives the wife his phone number. also mulder is also looking very good today. but that is an evil voice in my head that ought to be silenced.

noooo, it's chicken plant time. no thank you ma’am, i would be out in the car <3

paula from the woods at work in the plant!!! taking mystery pills. seemingly in pain??

chicken cutting cam. oh, this is not for me! 

the agents chat with the manager, who says george was trying to shut them down. and while clocked in, paula is sweating. she just gasped in front of a whole bunch of chickens and some guy with very blue eyes. she sees a human head on the chicken stand and picks it up and throws it off. shoutout to this fake decapitated head and my best friends in the prop department for making such a funny creation.

(but of course, it was a hallucination, and she really just threw a poor chicken on the floor!!! his sacrifice was in vain... gone but not forgotten)

mulder is inspecting the chicken gutting operation and i've said it before and i'll say it again: he is braver than me. 

ohh, more chicken drama: george was filing a lawsuit about “line hypnosis” and it was dismissed before he vanished! he deserved to win. is there a meat processing union? there ought to be. but he was the only one citing bad health practices, the other 3 workers said it was fine... sooo what’s the truth…

“what’s that” asks mulder, who then gets shown the feed processor, and asks “chickens feed on chickens?” <- heartbreaking realization. many of us remember where we were when learning this information. i'm sure it will stick with him forever. and i'm frankly surprised he didn't know already.

NAURRR THE SLUDGE AND BLOOD nasty nasty evil

OH plot twist: paula is holding the manager with a knife to his throat… scully telling everyone to calm down. personally i would be not calm. she said “don’t get excited” but me? experiencing an active hostage situation at my place of work? i would be excited

NOOO the sheriff shot her and she fell into the feed conveyor belt processing… thing. sheriff i KNOW you are covering something up. you will not hide from me.

SHE GETS GULPED INTO THE FEED BELT THINGY GAGGG it’s giving the jungle by upton sinclair that caused many american 8th graders to confront the corruption of the meat industry

paula had gone to the doctor about headaches… like george!!! doctor had assumed the condition was stress induced. and they did have similar symptoms. 

treated them both with codine… ain’t that a bit strong?? this man doesn't seem to be a very good doctor, tbh. i mean i don't think the guy that works at the chicken plant to sew back on fingers needs to be an expert in everything but like. codine for headaches? umm girl.

mr. chaco of chaco’s chicken was paula’s grandfather… if i was a grandfather rich off of chicken money, my grandkids would not be working the processing line, let me tell u that much!

back to the agents: these two should not be looking as good as they do in a chicken processing plant. they had to really step it up today to compensate for the horrors of the set.

chicken man lives in a mansion. further evidence of corruption. paula, i would not have had you working in such conditions if i was your grandfather. there has been a deep wrong here, i can see already.

and he’s got a big hat and is feeding his chicken corn. not other chickens, like the feed he makes in his plant... seems he is aware of the ethical issues implied in his business. also, mulder with those weird ass glasses. 

cacho is going on about the subject of chickens. and how he built this town. he sure is taking an awful lot of credit for creating a town, pretty sure that's a team effort mr. chaco. he's also going on about how he thought george was trying to tear him down. 

AUTOPSY TIME!! rare degenerative disorder in da brain of paula. and scully has only seen it one other time back in med school because you can only really find it in an autopsy. nice work, doctor! <- i just typed “nice worm 🪱” so we'll let that stay for the added sense of whimsy it provides

but despite looking like a young girl fresh out of high school, paula was born in '48?! she was 47 years old. allegedly. this is not adding up. so they go on a quest to find her birth certificate and see what the truth is.

debrief in the car. so: odds are not great that she and george had the same very rare disease

during this discussion, our duo are run off the road by a chicken truck!!!! no! oh... he drove them into a river. mulder has shifted into rescue mode as the river is red with chicken gore. i feel someone might be distracting them and trying to get the body… (this was actually not the case i was just overly suspicious)

but more chicken drama: the driver had the same symptoms as george and paula! how can this be?!

“i just came up with a sick theory, mulder” (grabs her shoulder) “ooh, I’m listening” LMAOOOO this is sososo funny to me. yeah tell me ur sick theories scully you have my full attention.

GAG!! because it is both gross and shocking. her theory: what if someone put george’s body in the feed grinder, and then since it’s a prion disease, a chicken ate it, and someone ate a chicken, and it spread to the humans!!!! AHHHH! well that would be an epidemic, because they ship chickens out across the country… she glances knowingly, implying things could be very bad 

the river is filled with bird gore from the plant BLECH... who allows this??!! please say there are some modern regulations in place to prevent this being done irl.

mulder says he wants it dragged, thinking that maybe george is in there. and the sheriff is hesitant to do this. once again, i’m onto you, sheriff. i mean, a river full of chicken gore: it would be a good place to put a dead body.

and bam! a body is found. or rather. many many many bones. many bodies. and they are still going. damn.

so, we have a ton of bones. scully can put them into 9 distinct skeletons, one of which is in fact george. i love that she can do that, put the bones into distinct skeletons. she knows it's geroge from a pin in his femur!

“all of them share one, strange detail though” “well, they seem to have lost their heads” “… well, besides that” <- LMAOOOO idk why this was so funny to me... he really thought he picked up on something but he did Not.

here's the linking detail: all the bones are smooth and buffed like they have been polished. ??? who is polishing bones? it sure isn't me, i'll tell you that much. 

george’s wife is at the scene, learning her husband's body has been found, and she is sobbing. and the sheriff says “we’ll take care of you” now what does THAT mean? because it's not really sounding like the welcoming words of a man who is going to guide his neighbor through tragedy, and instead like there is something bigger at play here...

back at the plant, the doctor is mentioning another guy coming down “with the symptoms”…. omg. so this IS a known thing from the inside. mr. chaco knows but he isn’t doing anything about it!!!!! chicken dramaaaa goes crazy 

scully at the scene of all the bones, carrying a bucket of chicken. lmao. she is braver than me, for i would have gone vegan the first moment i set foot in chicken processing land.

mulder does some digging: 87 people have disappeared in the area in 50 years! that seems... a lot? and he thinks the same person or persons were responsible. he thinks they were EATEN!! boiled in a pot.

“they used similar evidence to prove cannibalism among on the Anasazi tribe of New Mexico” okay: 1. why do you know that 2. need to look into these allegations for myself and 3. Anasazi… that is the title of the next episode!!! what could this mean!! another cannibalism episode?!

scully is very sad to say that paula could have gotten sick from eating george :( girl I’m not convinced the chicken is clean put it down NOW 

cannibalism = eternal life? follow for more crazy mulder theories!

she puts aside the chicken……. good!

mr. chaco says “he’ll handle it” and george's wife doris arrives, saying she “can’t keep lying”… she says “she did it” (!!)

OH????? she... killed her husband? that is a bold thing to admit to.

“we’re gonna take good care of you”, says mr. chaco, which raises the question: are they a cannibal cult???? is that what he means when he mentions that he “built this town”???

now what the hell is going on. <- an interjection i stand by

mulder and scully are going to the courthouse to look at the papers and all the birth records are burnt!! doris calls mulder and says he’s afraid mr. chaco will kill her… they split up…. nooooo i hate splitting up!!! i watched so much scooby doo as a kid!

GASP! a guy in a mask like we saw at the very beginning of the episode is in doris' home!!! drumbeat playing while she screams…. overall, this is very not good, i wrote, referring to the use of Indigenous imagery for this murder, and also doris being murdered in the first place

scully at the scene of the murder ft. big ass flashlight. she gets in through the side door. gun: out. trench coat: open. looks: served. diagnosis: baby girl that could kill me, and i am respectful of the fact that she has this power yet refrains from using it on me.

mulder at mr. chaco’s house. mr. chaco has some… stuff in his home. including photos with Indigenous people and also bones. having human bones in your house, and especially on display, is not a good sign of ethics in play. and a skull. Oh! it says the skull is from a tribe in New Guinea... why tf does he have that. put it back???

at the back of chaco's parlor, we see a mysterious door. mulder is busting it open.

LORD ALMIGHTY, I DID NOT THINK THERE WOULD BE HEADS INSIDE??? HELLO???

so that must be where all of the heads that mulder noticed were missing have gone. they're sewn up sort of like shrunken heads. very spooky. once again, pour one out for the props department for such a creation.

noooo chaco is in the house with scully, who was investigating the call of doris. NOOOO HE KNOCKED HER OUT!!! this seriously needs to stop happening like i'm worried about the brain damage she is experiencing.

back to mulder cam. goodness. all of these heads. 

in a field now. doctor is serving some soup. to a bunch of people. who are eating around a big bonfire. do NOT tell me scully is in that meal....

she is not. YET! but he is bringing her over to be roasted. and they ate doris! chaco is yelling about turning on each other and how they were only supposed to eat outsiders. girl you shouldn't be eating anybody last time i checked. 

man in the mask shows up with an axe. and chaco is decapitated in front of scully. who is put into the decapitation thingy next. GIRL THIS IS FUCKED UP!!!

mulder on the scene, just in time. he shoots the dude in the mask.

“you alright?” he asks, brushing her hair back after lifting her out of the decapitation machine. my good friend, i would venture to guess that she is not quite alright at the moment!!! this will take an awful lot of unpacking!!!

sigh. but the tenderness of the near death experience. coming back to life in someone's arms. yeah i'll romanticize that.

TEA!!! the sheriff was the one under the mask!!!!!! i knew he was up to no good.

wrap up: chicken place shut down. unclear how many citizens of the town ate people. 27 have become ill with prion disease. chaco’s plane was shot down in 1947, and he spent 7 months with a cannibalistic tribe, and also he was born in 1902, so he was 93 at his death- so the cannibalism really WAS extending life. and we see some more feed being scooped to the chickens as scully says his remains have yet to be found. end scene.

HUH???? what in da hell. so what are we thinking kids…?

well, i'll tell you something: turns out i am afraid of cannibal cults, no matter how outlandish they seem! i guess when you get a villain or evil situation of the week show like this, you WILL learn exactly what kind of fear pushes your buttons. i can imagine almost nothing scarier than being led to the slaughter like scully was. seems a purposeful commentary on the meat industry, especially when taken in with the other meat episode this season.

so, if i were scully, i do think i would need to take a week or so off. but she is just built different than i am.

some things bugged me here. first of all, like i mentioned, you don't need to throw in Indigenous people to make a scary story. like is the thought of a bunch of arkansas cannibals not horrific enough? the scary was there!

second, i have not been doing a kidnapping count, but i feel that scully is getting the rough of the deal here. i believe in gender equality when it comes to characters being kidnapped. like, an even 1:1 ratio. why are we denying mulder his damsel in distress arc? does anyone think about how he would feel? how nice it would be to see scully burst in with a gun and shoot the fellow that was about to cannibalize him?

still, it is rare an episode actually spooks me, so i must give credit where it is due. even if it felt a little outlandish, your girl was frightened! scully needs a vacation now. i also thoroughly laughed at the sick theories line and his funny sunglasses.

it's funny to note, but i like the episodes that are either very silly and light hearted, or incredibly angsty the best. and that may seem contradictory, but you cannot tell me that one breath and humbug may be on opposite ends of the tone spectrum, but they are both objectively Perfect. i'll have to think more on why they are the best in my opinion, but i think honestly i would watch these two read the dictionary.

[toxic-aries]

He gets jealous of you and Steve, so he’s shows you who you belong too?

I belong to you (1.2k words)

paring: eddie munson x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ (minors get out), dom!eddie, cowgirl style activities, doggy style, mentions of handcuffs, degradation/name-calling, daddy kink, jealous!eddie, implied fucking in his van, and my cringey writing, please let me know if i missed any.

a/n: thank you for the prompt (ily), I got a little too carried away. also, ignore the grammar mistakes it's late, I'll fix them tomorrow.

feedback & criticism is very appreciated. please let me know if you have any thoughts on how I can approve. thank you :)

Family Video's shelves were crammed with movies, and you spent some time scanning them, looking for the right one for movie night. So many options. You walked down the horror aisle and came across a copy of The Shining. Picking it up, you proceeded to the counter to rent it out. You strolled down the aisles reading the back of the tape while mired in your own little world.

Wandering aimlessly, you bump into someone organizing shelves. The many VHS tapes that fell created such a big ruckus in the store, with you constantly apologizing and trying to assist him. "Hey," he laughed, shrugging it off. “It's all right, you wouldn't believe how often this happens here." He smiled, reaching for the movie you had dropped. Your hands graze awkwardly, both ripping away from the VHS tape right away.

“The Shining, huh? Planning for a movie night tonight.” he asks with a smile, as he hands you the tape he has just picked up. Your eyes finally drew your attention to the guy's name tag as you reached for the VHS tape. Steve. Steve ‘The Hair” Harrington. The known douchebag of Hawkins high. He leaned his body against the shelves, crossing his arms, with that dumb cheeky grin plastered on his face.

“Yeah, I was planning on watching it with -” you began, but were interrupted. “You know…It’s a horror movie..” Steve interrupted, “I could stop by and we could watch it together, if you want?”. What a douchebag line, how cheesy can he get? You could feel the awkwardness in the air, and you laughed awkwardly, "Yeah, I don't think that would work out”. The sound of 80's classics echoed faintly in the background, but the silence lingered. You rock on your heels, not really sure how to escape this awkward situation.

“Harrington.” A familiar grasp landed on your hip, pulling your body against his side. It was Eddie, finally. "I don't think we'll have a movie night tonight…" he hisses, his jaw tightening as you watch him. His grip tightens around your hip, emphasizing each word, "Other plans came up." he says. Steve's eyes widened as he realized what was happening. Taking a deep breath, he smiles and sucks his teeth, “I see…if you change your mind.” He pauses for a moment, looking at you, “Just let me know.”

There is silence in the store as Eddie takes a deep breath and tries to hold his tongue. His hand slips from your waist and grips your hand. You find yourself trailing behind him through the aisles before storming out.

A hard smack on the ass of your body sent shivers down your spine, causing your hips to thrust forward. Eddie gripped your hips tightly, slamming your body against him. With each thrust, his grip became tighter. Fortunately, your cries were muffled by the shaggy carpet beneath you. While grasping the chain of the cuffs, Eddie repositioned himself to get in a different angle by using it for leverage.

“You wish it was Harrington's cock and not mine?” he says through gritted teeth, his thrusts becoming harsher and harsher. “No Eds!” you cry out. You feel as his pace slows, till he’s completely still inside you. Everything stopped. There was nothing but the sound of your deep heavy breaths and Eddie's breathing. A hand snakes down your body, feeling your hip, brushing past your throbbing clit, and grazing your hard nipples before landing on your jaw.

Your head is lifted in a tense grip, and he asks, "What did you say?" sending shivers down your spine. You feel his body tense and push your hips back as a sign of reassurance. “E-E…” you started, pausing for a moment as his hips pulled back. “Shit. I meant ‘No daddy’!” You yell, arching your back more. He pulls out, and his hand moves from your jaw, snaking its way back down to your empty cunt.

You whimper, craving his touch, "D-Daddy, I'm so sorry." His fingers brush against your swollen clit, easing between your folds. You keep insisting, "I'm yours! Only yours!" He fucking loves teasing…especially in this case. A pair of harsh digits push into your hot cunt, pulsing in and out repeatedly. “Who’s pussy is this?” he grunts out.

“Only yours!” you exclaim, “Daddy, I belong to you!” your words followed by unholy moans. Each time his thick fingers touch your core, you feel a warm sensation build in your stomach. As he pulls out his fingers, your wet pussy becomes empty again. You feel your legs shaking from this position. You first hear it before you feel it: a harsh slap against your warm cunt. As your knees buckle out, you collapse, smashing your face against the floor and muffling your screams.

"That's a good girl." he mumbles, "Now I want my good girl to fuck daddy's cock all on her own." he quickly undoes your cuffs, helping you change positions. You hover inches from his dick, feeling his hands guide your pussy back and down. Your breaths stiffen as you sink back until your ass meets his skin, curses falling from both of you and Eddie’s lips.

Rolling your hips forward, you rest your hands on Eddie's thighs to adjust to this new position. Gripping your nails into them as his cock twitched and a growled moan left his full lips as he reached the new depth inside your warm cunt. You begin rocking your hips, allowing his cock to slip in and out. “Come on babygirl…fuck daddy like the dirty slut you are.” he groans.

Lifting yourself up and down from his cock, you tighten your grip on his thighs, speeding up your pace. Your plump ass smacking down on his hips creating wet slapping sounds as his dick drives in and out of your cunt. “You’re such a good little slut aren't you?” he moans out, his hands traveling up your back to your knotty hair, tugging it back making your hips stall.

“I’m daddy’s good little slut.” you exclaim, your hips bucking again. Your head falls back as you bounce painfully against his cock, his tip bumping over your g-spot. You feel his hand move from your hip to your swollen bud to support you. As you bounce onto his lap, he circles your throbbing clit with his calloused fingers. “Fuck, this feels so good.” you mewled.

“Keep riding me.” he grunts, his hand yanking your hair and snapping your neck back as you cried out from the mix of pain and pleasure. His fingers moving in a faster pace around your clit. You start feeling that warm feeling build again in that pit of your stomach as your bounces become faster and faster.

“ ‘m close.” you moan out, his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. Causing your walls to become tighter and tighter and pace getting slower. “Cum with me, slut.” he grunts between his teeth, snapping your head back as you tried lifting off his cock, slamming you back down onto his length.

It was a sensation of pleasure coursing through your body, the walls of your cunt shudders around Eddie’s cock, squeezing him and pushing him into the deep recesses of your inner self until he released in rapid spurts, your name a snarl behind his pretty plump lips as you cried, ‘Eddie’.

He sits up, his cock twitching as he slowly softens inside you. Still grasping your hair, he pulled you back until you touched his chest. “You know who you belong to now? He hums softly in your ear.

“Y-Yes daddy.”

if you enjoyed please consider commenting or reblogging, it makes a huge difference ♡

[ddagent]

Next Fic

So, my previous fic poll ended in a draw, so let's have another go! A few different options, this time, with some supporting evidence for each to help you make your decision!

May I present the poll:

And the supporting evidence!

Option 1:

"Uh, boss, your friend is here."

Detective Anthony Crowley looked up from his notebook and turned his golden gaze back to the crime scene tape a few feet away. Behind the white and blue tape, highlighted by the flashing lights of the police cars, was Reverend Aziraphale Fell. Clerical collar, sunny disposition, and two takeaway cups in his hand. One of those was six espresso; one was hot cocoa. Ridiculous man. Snarling, Crowley shoved his notebook into the back pocket of his trousers and stomped through sand to shoo Aziraphale back to his church.

"You can't be here."

"But—" Aziraphale began, a pout forming on those perfect lips. "—I can help. I was ever so good before—"

"—we were nine, Aziraphale. We're not making up mysteries and legging it in and out of caravans and arcades anymore." Which was a pity. The mysteries Aziraphale always dreamt up for them as children were less brutal than the one that currently laid before him. Huffing out a sigh, Crowley took the proffered coffee and gestured for a uniformed officer, Constable Honey, to escort the vicar out. "I'm sorry, Aziraphale. I'll see you on Sunday, yeah?"

"We'll see each other before then, no doubt." Sure, sure. "When you realise you do need my help."

Option 2:

Swiveling his hips, Crowley slid through the open bathroom window of AZ Fell and Co. Even though the bookshop had been broken into three times now, the proprietor, one Aziraphale Fell, still had no sense of security. No locks on the window, no alarms, no cute dogs that Crowley would have to pet and stroke in order to disarm. No, Crowley was free to move around the shop as he pleased. Maybe it was because Crowley had never actually stolen anything that Aziraphale felt safe.

Bah. Crowley didn't want him to feel safe. He wanted him to feel scared. Crowley could do anything here. Anything.

Slipping into the living room, Crowley noted that Aziraphale had fallen asleep on the sofa again. A threadbare blanket was pooled at his feet; a copy of some eighteenth century novel had fallen to the floor. Moving deftly, Crowley adjusted the blanket, placed the book upon the table, and tipped out Aziraphale's hot chocolate. There. Mental insecurity. Aziraphale would know that someone had been in there. Someone who could do anything.

As it was, Crowley committed the most heinous act of all: he left a rare book upon Aziraphale's coffee table, a product of his earlier activities. Gabriel Archer, that twat, wouldn't miss it. And it would certainly give the bookshop's profits a major boost.

Option 3:

"Excuse me, I was wondering whether you had a VHS copy of The Eastern Gate?"

From behind the counter, Crowley didn't even bother turning around to address his customer, so ridiculous was his request. Yes, Crowley had a copy of The Eastern Gate: it was one of Aziraphale Fell's early works, a black and white film focusing on an angel overseeing Eden. It had been very well-received at the time but public interest quickly waned. For years it spent time on BBC 2 on Sunday afternoons - that was where Crowley's copy came from, recorded with great care and attention onto VHS.

He had one copy. And it was not for sale.

The customer cleared his throat. "Dear boy, I do wonder if you could—"

"—in a minute. This is the best part." The Bastille had come out in the 90s, part of the interest in musketeers and the French revolution. Aziraphale looked delectable in the heavy iron chains and all those pretty frills. Just gorgeous. But, with great reluctance, Crowley pressed pause and turned to 'attend' to the customer who wanted the impossible, even in Crowley's memorabilia shop. "Listen—"

But Crowley didn't say another word. Because his customer wasn't just interested in Aziraphale Fell. He was Aziraphale Fell.

Option 4:

"Crowley, can I ask you a question about Twitter?"

Crowley immediately zoned back into the room. He had been fixated on the slight tinge of silver and white at the temples of Aziraphale's blond hair; the curve of his mouth as he indulged in dessert at The Ritz. For some time, Aziraphale had been discussing his latest project: a gripping drama for ITV featuring a gay romance between two childhood friends. It was the sort of project that Aziraphale did often - but this time he had been paired opposite BAFTA winning actor Raphael Archer.

Not that Crowley was jealous or anything. He hadn't campaigned for the role. Hadn't sent an audition tape and told he wouldn't be believable starring opposite Aziraphale in a romantic role. As if he hadn't spent thirty years yearning for this man. Oh, they had played detectives together, odd-couple roles, best friends. But never romantic leads.

And the first time a project came up that was perfect, Crowley lost to Raphael Archer. That Scottish twat. Breathe, Crowley. "What about Twitter, Angel?"

"I don't use it." No kidding. "But Raph does." Oh, Raph is it? "And a lot of his followers have started using a hashtag. Something #raphaphale?"

Crowley's glass immediately shattered. Thirty years as Aziraphale's shadow and this Scottish wanker gets a ship tag?

Option 5:

He was here again. Sitting in the front row with his delicately pressed tan trousers, neat little waistcoat with the gold buttons, and the delicate puff of blond curls. In his lap (which Crowley noted, not for the first time, was rather spacious) was his paddle, with the number 666 printed in red lettering. Since the man had started attending the auctions at Eden's Auction House, Crowley'd had fantasies about that paddle.

How the hell was he going to make it through today's auction?

Still, Crowley was a professional (allegedly). So, he took to the podium, gavel in hand, and addressed the crowd. "Lot number one is a collection of Austen, incredibly preserved from the period, featuring four books - including Pride and Prejudice and Persuasion." He swallowed a number of sarcastic remarks, bit back his need to share the crackpot biography he'd read about diamond heists and whisky smuggling. Not the crowd. Never the crowd. "Shall we start the bidding at fifteen hundred?"

The man was the first to take the bid. As it was accepted, he wiggled happily in his chair. Oh, Crowley was gone.

[bestanimatedmovie]

Choose your favorite!

Vote in the other polls!

What fans say:

Brave:

This movie is a key element in the big four/rise of the brave tangled dragons and for that i cant just let it go. Plus the idea of exploring the different kinds of power with Merida and Eleanor is really excellent when given the proper attention.

The Iron Giant:

This movie made me feel every emotion. I quote it constantly. I've watched it countless times and it never gets old. I love this movie a LOT.

The period piece. The character designs. The pacing. The themes. EVERYTHING

Reminds me of my dad! he loved this movie and always found it funny when i complained about the lack of sequel.

I'd watch the CN marathon of it all day, I own it on VHS, when I brought it in to the hospital to watch when I was two or three years old the other kids liked it so much they had to get their own copy (supposedly, I'm too young to remember this), it's amazing, inspirational, I own multiple copies on DVD, it's the highest form of cinema ever put to screen, this movie deserves not only Best Animated movie but Best Movie of all time.

The animation + the plot + the everything!!! It's such a touching and heartfelt movie. I don't think I have a favorite scene but I always get goosebumps when the Giant thinks about Superman 😭

Ah god it's so emotional and pretty and and and

"Superman."

My dad used to babysit the kid Hogarth Hughes is based on*. Other than that it's genuinely a great film & makes me cry every time I watch it :)

*Mod note: I'm sorry?!? What do you mean "the kid Hogarth Hughes is based on"? Come back and tell us more please!

[frodo-with-glasses]

25 Questions with Phil Dragash: YES, SERIOUSLY!

So y'all know how I was reviewing Phil Dragash's audiobook of LotR last year, but kinda fell off somewhere in the middle of Rohan?? Well, guess what! A couple weeks ago, I received a tumblr message from the man himself, saying he'd read through all my reviews, had really enjoyed the little blast from the past, and was open to answering questions if I had any!

So of course, I had LOTS of questions.

The first one being: "Are you actually the real Phil Dragash??"

But I'm delighted to say that after exchanging emails with the work email listed on his website, I can confidently say that it is the real dude, and I've had a blast chatting with him! So for those of you who urged I listen to this audiobook—especially @laurelindorenan for her glowing recommendation—and for everyone else who likes the audiobook and/or enjoyed my reviews: I am delighted to present, ladies and gentlehobbits, this peek behind the curtain!

But of course I'm putting it all below the cut, because this man rambles like I do 🤣

Obligatory disclaimer: All opinions presented by Mr. Dragash are his own, I am not necessarily condoning any of them; please do not come after me for his opinions regarding pineapple on pizza.

25 QUESTIONS, LET'S GO!

1. Tell me how you got into Lord of the Rings!

I was ten years old when my dad took me to the library, and found a VHS copy of Ralph Bakshi’s 1978 animated Lord of the Rings film. I was already a fan of the “Chronicles of Narnia” and my dad just handed the tape to me and said “Look, C.S. Lewis’s friend made this”. I watched it, and had no idea what was going on. It was so hard to understand.

Fast forward to the year 2002 when “Fellowship” was out on DVD, and we had a movie night at my older cousin’s place, and watched the film for the first time. My 13 year old self was enraptured by it. Dad bought the DVD first thing the next day, and I’ve been a fan ever since! I, my brother, and our dad watched “Return of the King” in theaters four times, which was saying something, considering we only ever saw a movie once in cinemas. Between “The Return of the King” opening in December ‘03, I picked up the books and read (as well as I could) through them. A lot of friends kept joking “tell us how the damn story ends!”, good times.

2. When and how did you decide to make this audiobook? What’s the story behind the entire project? 

I was a very ambitious lad, and my first and biggest interest was filmmaking. I used to direct short films with my friends ever since my 11th birthday, and was the youngest in class at the filmschool I attended a few years later. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that I had massive ambitions to direct “the Hobbit”, which is silly in retrospect considering I was 16 years old at the time. I even sent my portfolio and DVDs of my films to Peter Jackson’s manager (who actually got back to me with a wonderful response, despite not being able to accept my ‘completely reasonable’ offer) When I was heartbroken and torn to pieces knowing I wouldn’t be directing the movie, a few more years went by, and I decided to reread some chapters of the “Lord of the Rings” books. I remember really well that this was late at night, laying in bed, and going through “King of the Golden Hall” and seeing how close to the movies it was, but also far more expanded. I thought “my extensive home-made short movies experience with sound design and sound mixing could work here, and I could just read a few chapters and try to make the soundscape as realistic as possible. Why not try it?” 

So, the next day I tried. The first two chapters I tried were “King of the Golden Hall” and “A Journey in the Dark” (which partly answers your other question about that chapter). I was so absolutely surprised by how well it was going, that I decided to upload them onto YouTube in March 2010 I think. I got a fairly good response, and I was planning on doing a few more random chapters. I never intended to do the whole thing. But this one comment on YouTube I’ll always remember, it said: “I think you should go from start to finish, because you’ll probably get used to the characters and sounds and people can also follow along in the story gradually”.

Taking that suggestion to heart, in August 2010 I went from Chapter 1 onward. 

3. Were you inspired by any other audiobook versions of LotR (such as the BBC radio drama)?

I was not, I actually haven’t listened to the BBC Radio drama until far ahead into the project I was doing. I did some research on what other audio productions anyone did with LOTR, from The Mind’s Eye edition, to the ‘60s Hobbit Radio Play; so I felt pretty confident. I just fell in love with the way the films brought Middle-Earth to life and seeing their incredible dedication for authenticity (from the props department, to the music), you really couldn’t do any better than that visually or audibly - at least in my opinion. I just wanted to hear Tolkien’s text but with the realisation of the films. 

However, if you listen to Chapter 1 of TTT, and hear how Legolas laments their absence from not being there to help Boromir at Amon Hen, you can clearly hear the inflection from the BBC Radio play’s version. I just lifted that because I thought it was a fantastic way to deliver the line.

4. Did you have any rituals for “getting into character” before recording?

If I were to show you the raw unedited recording sessions, you’d probably be surprised at how underdeveloped it is! I had no real rituals or warmups, I just went for it. Usually went in cold, and tried reading the entire chapter and doing all the voices at once. Then I’d be exhausted, and afterwards start cutting all the mistakes, and separating each character into different tracks – and then re-recording 50%-70% of it, as I was laying in the sounds. 

I think any character just needs a few words for me to say in their voice, and that helps for the rest of their dialogue. For Aragorn it was usually: “You cannot wield it! None of us can.” for Pippin it was: “Sometimes”, just random things that make things ‘click’ in my head. If I got lost or didn’t feel like the performances were working, I’d simply just watch scenes from the films to hear the real actors again!

5. Who was your favorite character to voice? Who was your least favorite? And why?

People who know me, know I love doing the villains. Sauron, the orcs, the Nazgûl, etc. I just love the idea of personifying things that scare you. Something completely the opposite of who you are. Always a fun time! Any character I can nail extremely accurately always makes me happy, but I’m always very critical of my own work, so it’s a rare thing.

My least favorite characters to voice are: Imrahil, Denethor, Arwen, Celeborn, Galadriel, Erestor, Lindir, Haldir, Goldberry, Gildor… I think the pattern is pretty obvious if you realize that I am incapable of providing a satisfactory voice that feels unique enough. They just sound to me like “I wish I had a broader range. They weren’t done justice.” I have feelings for most of the characters in this situation, but I’m a mere mortal. I can’t do all of them as well as I wish I could. I wish Aragorn was more like Viggo Mortensen’s voice (I tried with the nasally yells you mentioned!), I wish Gandalf had a richer tone, I wish Saruman sounded more majestic, and I wish Frodo was - in retrospect- more older sounding, too. There’s so much I wish I could do better, but to hell with it, I tried.

Fun fact: my least-favorite to voice are also Orcs because they destroy my throat after a while. Which is ironic, because of my first statement.

6. I noticed that you gave the men of Rohan and Gondor slightly different dialects! Are you pulling from any real-world accents to make that happen?

I did try to listen to Anglo-Saxon, and ancient norse but I just tried to make Rohan and Gondor slightly distinct in any way I could. I never really tried to make things too obvious, but admittedly, I think I just used my intuition (smoothing the R’s for the Rohirrim, making the Gondorians more ‘proper’, etc.). I do want to emphasize that this was a one-person project and keeping things together or consistent is definitely an extraneous exercise when you’re just trying to get something finished by yourself! 

7. Some characters (like Beregond and Quickbeam, to name a couple of my favorites) aren’t in the movies, so they don’t have an actor for you to imitate. How did you decide what they would sound like?

Well, in the case of Beregond, I realized he was just “your ordinary guy”, and seeing Minas Tirith through his eyes (and Pippin’s)  is such an amazing and interesting opportunity. It made the city feel so real, and I wanted to take advantage of that. I think I started with a ‘generic’ voice, but when I re-recorded him knowing more and more of the context and what he was saying to Pippin, and as a result who he is, made me adjust what I felt were more his personality. But still that ‘ordinary guy’ idea was the bedrock, and it’s been years since I heard that chapter, but I hope it holds up! (I just remembered Bergil is in that too, another voice I wish I could have done better) 

Another fun fact: when Pippin scares the kids in Minas Tirith, the audio was from something I videotaped when I was 10 years old with my friends, it had the perfect “kids-going-aaah!” sound.

If I had it my way, I’d have a cast of dozens in this Audiobook, so a lot of times I never felt like my voice was enough to truly capture the “We’re in Middle-Earth, we just have microphones to record it” idea. So I have to make compromises since I was the only one doing the voices. That being said, Quickbeam was a fun surprise because he felt like, as you said “young treebeard”, and these things just worked out through experimentation! I think Quickbeam turned out pretty nice. I like Quickbeam.

8. HOW—I ask with great enthusiasm—DID YOU DO TREEBEARD’S VOICE? How did you get that resonance and woody sound? Did you send your voice through a wooden box and re-record it on the other side like they did in the movies?

It’s really great that you know all the behind the scenes stories from the films! Especially what Ethan Van der Ryn, David Farmer, and the late Michael Hopkins have done with their incredible creativity. I had no such resources to produce Treebeard’s sound. What I did was a digital facsimile: a special ‘room’ reverb, with some other equalizing effects to boost the bass and (maybe, I can’t remember) another higher pitched track of the same voice faintly in there. 

You won’t believe this, but I was not going to do The Two Towers audiobook unless I could do a good Treebeard voice. In 2011 after finishing “Fellowship”, I was on the fence about continuing, and only committed once I knew I could do Treebeard right. Treebeard was the key to all this. This should come to no surprise to the ones who played the game, but I used a lot of sound effects from ‘Battle for Middle-Earth’ which contained a lot of clean sounds for ents, trolls, the balrog, the ringwraiths, and other monsters from the films. I used the ent’s footsteps from the games, and recorded my own foley for some of the trees snapping and leaves rustling as well. The “fart” sounds were the low creaking of tree branches, and - as they stated in the making-of for the films - very pitched down cow moos. 

9. Tell me about the foley work! Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been that nerd who watched the Behind The Scenes featurettes for fun, so I’m very interested to hear how you made the sound effects for footsteps and whistling arrows and jangling horse harnesses and such. 

I’m glad you are! I’ve collected sound libraries (ripped from video games, and finding and buying sound packs) for a literal decade, because I always needed sounds for the short films I made when I was younger. I just kept learning about how to mix sounds together, and it’s very creative and very enjoyable! That being said, the foley work itself is mostly recorded by me. If I can’t find a sound in the library I have, I will record it. Clothing rustles, and touch are all recorded while I listen to the audiobook playback and ‘perform’ each character. It’s a really arduous process, but I think it adds so much life into the sound. 

I went out into the woods (or backyard) with my mic to record footsteps, sometimes I would listen to the audiobook with headphones while performing the footsteps. When I would have traveled somewhere with different terrain I would be sure to record more foley (rocks being moved, or pebbles being stepped on) knowing I’ll use it for certain chapters. I do not want to reveal a huge secret about the predominant foley for the character's clothes, but an old backpack I used were 90% of the characters’ ‘movements’. Some wingflaps of the fell beasts were just my jeans. It’s a really creative process trying to find things that ‘sound’ right for an environment or action. The magic is putting them all together and hearing the result. Also, yes Sam’s pan is my grandma’s frying pan, and I know it’s sometimes annoying, but - look - Sam has a lot of stuff to carry.

I start with the background sounds (wind, tree rustles, water if there is any, etc.) lots of layers of them just to make them sound unique and not the same. Then I move to selective and nearer environmental background sounds. Then, the ‘hero’ sounds, the effects that are integral to the story (if it’s sword clashes, or an explosion, or who knows what), and finally the foley (footsteps, clothing rustles, breaths, etc.) - I had a friend record her own horses breathing and moving for a lot of closeups of the horses in the audiobooks. I think even if you can’t really hear some of their low breaths, their presence is still ‘there’. I personally think I got a lot better by the end of LOTR than when I started! 

I wanted to add, the sounds for little Elanor in the very last scene of “The Return of the King” (the baby sounds), I was not happy with the stock baby sounds I had, and asked my older cousin (an audio person too!) to send me recordings he made of his then-1-year-old daughter in a studio. So, my first-cousin-once-removed is Elanor! She’s 22 now. I feel old.

10. Do you have a favorite sound effect from this project? Mine is the “pat-pat” against cloth that’s used to denote a hug.

Absolutely, do you remember the two “watchers” before the tower of Cirith Ungol? The vulture-like statues that block the hobbit’s path out? The alarm sound is a wholly original sound design I did, and I’m really happy with it. It’s just ugly sounding, and that’s the point. I always wished I had more Nazgul, and I think the worst moments I had with mixing were the battle scenes. There’s just too much to handle and make it sound good. But I really tried.

I’m very glad you heard the ‘pat-pat’s. I try my best to perform every character when recording foley, and want even some of the sounds to convey something in the telling of the story.

11. What's the thought process behind your use of the various musical motifs from Howard Shore's score? (Read: Why do you use the Shire theme so often, and why does it get me in the heart every single time?)

I want everyone to know that this is a really important and valuable question, and one I never really get to talk about: To me, Howard Shore’s music is one of the very best things to come out of the films. He truly made an opera out of the story, and all his leitmotifs and orchestrations are a stroke of genius. They work on their own, and when reading the books as well, and as a nerd for films and all that stuff, I wanted to put a lot of care into how I’m placing the score, and for what scene, emotionally and leitmotivically, if that’s a word.

The Audiobook I did is obviously a ‘standing on the shoulders of giants’ situation, so I can’t credit myself for the majority of the Audiobook I did, but I wanted to use all my filmmaking intuition to properly use the music to enhance the telling of the story. So, just like the filmmakers had to change and mix lines from the book, or make changes to make it work as a film, I felt like a lot of instances happened with the music for the audiobook. Obviously, I used the score when applicable to the intended scenes, but there are very often cases where they won’t work. I read as much as I could in the past about what the motifs were and where Shore used them in the movies, so I followed that trajectory for the most part. Gondor is Gondor, Rohan is Rohan, Mordor is Mordor, etc. 

Changes happen when I feel the emotions for a scene in the books do not match up to the ones in the films, and then there are brand new scenes and characters not in the movies at all, that I have to figure out! Take the pause from music between Gandalf falling into the chasm with the Balrog, and the fellowship successfully escaping. It’s perfect in the film, but I knew I couldn’t put the lamenting heartbreaking music in there yet, since the descriptions all drive the idea that escape is paramount. So I treated it as a ‘shock’ moment. No music until they’re completely out of the mountain, then the grief comes in. Things like that, a lot of fun creative thinking to get those emotions working!

I recall you mentioning the ‘Gimli / Legolas drinking game’ statement and how I used the hell out of it throughout the Audiobook, which is a good example. I pitched it up and down, for different moments, and it just has that hobbit mundane and jolly quality to it. So, in it goes to fill moments from the books. 

I also edited and modified existing motifs for completely different scenes and ideas. One of my favorites is when Treebeard talks about the Entwives. I needed this melancholy yearning sound that was really essential, and found it by reversing Eowyn’s theme, and pitching it down so the violin sounds like a cello/bass. To me it just felt extremely appropriate for the sound of a long-lost relationship while portraying a larger-than-life creature. 

Let’s also say Bombadil. I made up the idea that the last statement in the credits for “Return of the King”, was Bombadil’s theme. It’s actually just a reference to Der Ring des Nibelungen by Wagner, a very verbose beautiful crescendo, but I thought “I’ll pretend like it’s Bombadil, he’s last in the score even though he’s the first in Arda”. So I used that musical progression in his songs, that’s his leitmotif now (to me, anyway) He sings in that wavy up-and-down melody. Which is why you hear a lot of that in those chapters.

I also try to use recordings not from the original score: I looked far and wide for alternative recordings, predominantly the album by the Royal Prague Philharmonic, and the “LOTR Symphony”, just to make the Audiobooks feel different. I pitched down and moved and reassembled a lot of different cues for different scenes as well.

There are not a lot of instances of music from other movies, however, they do exist! I used music from “Battle for Middle-Earth”, the game “War in the North”, and for the last few chapters, “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” since it just came out at the time. I used a lot of music from Howard Shore’s “Seven” and “The Game” during Shelob (I think), and for the Barrow-Downs. I used a tiny bit of underscore from the brilliant Don Davis’s “The Matrix Reloaded”, it had a really eerie choir which made me feel like it would be perfect for the fatigue and dizzying unreality of Mordor when Sam and Frodo were on their last leg, trying to get to Mt. Doom. Lastly, I used a little bit of music from Howard Shore’s “Twilight: Eclipse” for some dialogue scenes during Return of the King! And music from the independent film “Mongol” by Tuomas Kantelinen for the Woses when Theoden has to get help from Ghan-Buri-Ghan. Also the ending of ROTK has a few cues from “The Lord of the Rings musical”, lovely stuff.

It may surprise you that there is a small amount of score I actually ‘wrote’ with help from my brother (he’s a musician). It’s in the coronation of Elessar. It’s not very good but I needed something. There is also a cello version of “to the edge of night”, which I kindly asked permission to use by YouTube celloist, but I sadly don't think that video is up anymore.

Lastly, I use the Shire music so much because - just like Howard Shore said - it becomes a ‘hymn’ or an ‘anthem’ for the hobbits as they leave their comforts behind and are in a wide and unfamiliar world. Every little bit that reminds them of home, or relates to each of them, usually deserves a little ‘shire’ statement here and there. I feel if it’s in the characters’ hearts and minds, it has to be expressed in the music!

12. Out of all the chapters I’ve listened to so far on the Internet Archive, “A Journey in the Dark” is the one most plagued with editing issues; Sam’s temper tantrum over leaving Bill the Pony is cut out entirely. Which is a shame, because I was really looking forward to hearing your take on that. (Is it strange to say that I wanted to hear you break down into blubbering tears? Probably. Let’s ignore that and move on.) Is there any chance that you have a cleaner edit of that chapter somewhere?

I think you’ll be very unsurprised to know that “A Journey in the Dark” is the first chapter I ever recorded. I think you’ll also need to know that I did FOTR when I was 21 years old, and my grasp on doing better sound mixing or even getting the characters right was still a work in progress. I learned so much going chapter-by-chapter and felt that each succeeding one improves from the former. As a demo-run, I did “King of the Golden Hall '' and “Journey in the Dark” in early 2010 (in fact, I did only the first half of “JITD” back then. Stopping right after they are barred inside the mines, as the Watcher destroys the gate. I did the second half once I caught up with the story going chapter-by-chapter.)

There are so many issues with it, and I haven’t listened to it since. If you have headphones you’ll also notice that none of the voices really pan from left to right, or feel like they’re ever anywhere else except the dead-center. I was lazy back then. 

When I read the chapters, at the time, I was sharing an ‘office room’ with my younger brother, and as a teenaged younger brother does - continues strumming his guitar no matter what the other brother is doing. It was really fun, and funny and I was extremely sloppy with editing things out, and taking it too seriously. So, for sure you can hear ‘someone’ in the background during the early parts of FOTR, and I was too lazy to re-record or edit out the noises that weren’t supposed to be there.

Forgive me if this part is a lot longer, but now that you mention it, I want to get on my soap-box and rant about how many things I agree with about the Audiobook’s shortcomings and how many things have changed since the wee days of 2010: 

I didn’t really get a grasp on the characters, and I had no idea I was going to do the entire book. I did not take enough care with sound mixing (it’s a highly technical and rigorous practice, I’ve discovered. Even now, ten plus years later - it’s too technical for me to fully understand yet), and I did not thoroughly re-listen to the chapter when I was done with an edit or a sound-effects pass. Therefore there’s always been mistakes still in there, and just unpleasantly careless placement of sounds and music. I have often thought about re-recording it to get it up to scratch, but it’s been over a decade and I haven’t properly preserved all the sound stems without having to re-sound-mix the whole chapter again, and there is that little thing called ‘burnout’ which is hard to ignore. So, I apologize to everyone who has to suffer through that huge drop in quality with “A Journey in the Dark”. It quite literally was my first attempt, and it definitely shows. 

The good news is that a fan asked me the same thing about the missing piece in that chapter (the one you mentioned! With Sam and Bill!), and I’ve heard the same comments about it throughout the years. Why is it missing? I don’t know why! I recorded it, but in my loose run-and-gun past when I was a wee lad, I was careless, and just had the mp3 with that part missing. A rendering error, perhaps! Stupid 21 year old Phil just hodgepoging everything.

A Few months ago, I did get another email about that missing piece. I thought “okay, once and for all, I’m going to find that missing part.” - and I searched my old harddrives for some kind of archival copy with that part in it. Amazingly, it was a lot harder to find than I thought. Every rendered version of JITD either stopped right before that scene, or had it omitted. I actually found one half of it as a ‘demo’ piece I rendered years ago for a ‘sound trailer’, and then I finally found the original YouTube video I made - which had it intact! Now the hardest part was stitching it together with the rest. Took longer than I thought, but I finally amended this horrible incompetence. And yes, I will share the link to you! And be prepared to be disappointed at the 2010-era quality!

I don’t know if anyone knows this, but with the mp3s circling around, I have taken the liberty of re-recording and re-working some chapters from their original versions. I try my best to preserve the originals, but I also wish people to listen to the re-records. I have actually re-recorded and re-mastered “A Long-Expected Party” three times. 2011, 2013, and 2014. I re-recorded “King of the Golden Hall” in 2013, and “Shadow of the Past” in 2014. I usually try labelling the dates on the mp3 files themselves. The one I’m most proud of re-recording bits of, is “The Pyre of Denethor” as the first time I had Denethor say his last words he was mildly raising his voice, but I listened to it again one day and went “this man should be at the edge of sanity.” - so he absolutely yells now, and it’s such a night-and-day comparison.

Another addendum: I completely understand the complaints about ‘the sound/music drowning out the dialogue’. It’s been the #1 complaint over the decade. I completely understand. I never had professional sound mixing gear, nor did I have proper mixing headphones or speakers or a proper studio (most of the audiobook was recorded at my grandmother’s house!). The balance of the audio making it sound immersive, (like you are there!) and having clear dialogue to hear is - like I said - an extremely technical and complex process that I’ve never had the ability or tech to master. Let alone for a book that’s 48 hours long, and has so much sound and music to it. Nothing would bring me more joy than to work with an experienced sound mixer, and find all my audio stems, and for us to work together to clear up any and all issues. But as this project was a simple fan-made work, and I haven’t distributed it myself for a decade, who knows?

This is also why I never went on to do “The Hobbit”. Burnout is real, and I’ve never recovered from LOTR. The burnout… “it’s never really healed, Sam.”

13. What was your favorite scene to record and mix?

Mount Doom. Can’t get better than trying to make the climax as horrible and eucatastrophic as that. It all led up to this, and it was such a rush to work on. I remember how I was at the edge of my seat watching ROTK in cinemas for the first time, and how amazingly they pulled it off, and I wanted to definitely imitate that, but using Tolkien’s own writing. Just so cool.

I have two favorite chapters: The first one is “The Scouring of the Shire”. I remember well, when I was working on it, I realized this has never been ‘dramatized’ before. At least not in full. I felt so special being the first one (probably) to do it. I could imagine the entire chapter in my head like a film, and I could bring it to life with very little outside influence. Such a poignant and shocking chapter. 

I don’t think I would have done it as well without the experience I gained doing the rest of the Audiobook. Showing the strength of the four hobbits, portraying the dignity and resolve of their kind, giving that pathetic yet dangerous authenticity to Sharkey, and the ruffians, illustrating the battle of bywater with sound… this was done in 2013, so we all were able to listen to new music by Howard Shore (for The Hobbit), and I would be able to transpose motifs from that, into “Scouring”, and honestly I wouldn’t know how it would have worked out if the Hobbit films didn’t come out just at the right time. I think the score fits so well with the events of “Scouring”, there is a ‘mordor’ theme but it feels ‘unfinished’, like the remnant of an old defeated foe; there’s that wily progression for Radagast in the films, that I used for the hobbit’s rebellion and the conflict, and there’s a new ‘hobbit/shire’ motif that worked so perfectly for a ‘wounded, but recovering’ Shire. I feel so silly talking about decisions I made for this, but I always wanted to share some thoughts I had! 

Fun fact: I had a wonderful person ask if she would be able to play Rosie Cotton back in 2013, and I asked her to perform her lines. She was great, but I realized a very strange thing: when I put her in the audio mix, it would actually break the immersion, because you can hear a voice that wasn’t mine, and as a result - I couldn’t help but keep thinking - my voice for Rosie’s mother sounded like a Monty Python skit in comparison! And thus her lines had to be unused. It kind of just opened the fourth wall, breaking the illusion. Which is a shame, because I always dream of having a fully-cast LOTR Audiobook, maybe someday officially.

The other favorite is “The Tower of Cirith Ungol” just because I listened to it one day in 2014, and heard no errors. I was so proud. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to change substantially. No one dislikes all the errors more than I do!

14. What’s your best memory from this entire project?

My late dad drove me and my brother out into a clearing at midnight in the forest. The sky was so clear and starry. And we were here simply to just yell at the top of our lungs to record material for “Helm’s Deep”. All the clear yells: “Elendil!!!” “Gúthwinë! Gúthwinë For the Mark!”etc. Etc. - I lost my voice, it was a fun time. He held the microphone for me as I splashed around a stream (for Gollum), once again at midnight since there were fewer background sounds.

I also tell this story a lot: A friend of mine who was listening to the chapters as I finished them - she hated the sound of knuckles cracking. And hated spiders. So, obviously, Shelob would have to have knuckle-cracking sounds for her limbs. So I recorded my own knuckles cracking and tried using it as much as I could for Shelob’s legs moving about. My friend was soooo ecstatic to know this fact.

15. If you could do it all again today, what would you change?

I would consider doing a ground-up re-recording of everything. With a budget, with a cast, with a lot more understanding of the story and intentions behind them. With VR sound options. With extra original music. That’s the dream. 

If we’re back to reality, I guess I’d just re-record a bunch of chapters since they could always be better, and tighten all the technical errors. But that would require a lot of assembling of the raw archived files, and re-building of sounds, and re-recording of lines. Also, as I stated before, I do not want to distribute my unofficial fan work just because I know that it’s a copyright nightmare. And burnout… “it’s never really healed, Sam.”

I like taking other people’s opinions to heart, such as the issues with Frodo’s youth or inflections and intonations for certain scenes that I didn’t quite fully grasp the first time. I would love to adjust things and make it closer to the book now.

- - - - -

And now! The Silly Questions Lightning Round!

(With thoughts from Lady Glasses in parentheses and italics!)

1. In Fellowship, long stretches of dialogue would often have someone randomly cough in the background. Tell me about the Cough. Why is the Cough there?

No one hates the coughs more than me. That’s either my brother minding his own business in the other end of our ‘office room’. I think you now know I was 21, I didn’t care, so these things are just left in because I was careless. However, sometimes there are intentional coughs to make it feel more realistic. It’s been years since I listened to it, so unless I somehow do a massive commentary stream someday (thinking about it), your guess will be as good as mine! The coughs heavily subsided once I did Two Towers, since I was by myself.

2. During the dinner scene with Farmer Cotton, someone burps. Who was that?

Mine. I have no regrets with that one. Or Pippin. I guess it could be Pippin.

(Darn! And here I thought it was Farmer Cotton, LOL)

3. How did you manage to make Bill Ferny’s voice so perfectly obnoxious?

I imagined Bill as an obnoxious guy. The image in my head gives me a good idea of what he’d sound like, and I’m so glad he’s so obnoxious that you had to mention it.

(He sounds perfectly punchable. Thanks, I hate it.)

4. Did you crack yourself up at any point in the recording?

Oh yes, in fact I have a whole outtake reel just for you!

(Warning to anyone who clicks the link: the April Fool's audio had me ON THE FLOOR)

5. Voice acting aside, who is your favorite character in LotR and why?

If you asked me in 2002 it would be the Balrog, if you asked me now it would be difficult because so many of them mean so much to me, and each of their aspects have something to aspire to. Gandalf, Aragorn, Sam, Frodo, Galadriel, the list goes on and on.

(That's beautiful, and so true. The story really grows with us, doesn't it?)

6. What’s your favorite color?

Blue. Always has been.

(Blue is a good color! 💙)

7. Political question: Pineapples on pizza, yes or no?

Yes, I still don’t get what the fuss is about

(Oooh, controversial)

8. Is a hotdog a sandwich?

No, it’s a hotdog!

(Counterpoint: A hotdog is a taco.)

9. What’s your opinion on geese?

They’re racist

(Racist against the entire human race, apparently)

10. How much would I have to pay you to say “I love boats!” in Merry’s voice? (It’s an inside joke with my friends.)

Nothing, it’s on the house!

(HOLY CRAP I LOVE YOU)

- - - - -

Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us! What are you working on nowadays?

I’ve actually had a few people ask me if I’ll ever do more audiobooks like this, and I seem to have tapped something. Yes, in fact! I’m working with a few creative collaborators on a small company to do the exact same sonic experience with other books! Since we’re very small, we are starting with stories in the Public Domain, and have successfully kickstarted (and finished) “The Jungle Book” by Rudyard Kipling. Which will be out (hopefully, officially) by early September! I’m really excited and hope this will lead to more projects, and - hopefully- back to Tolkien someday, in an official manner. Please follow my Instagram or Facebook for more info about it. (I also have a Twitter and Tumblr and more, but they’re all completely unrelated to LOTR and are just me drawing doodles and being a nerd, very unlike the Audiobooks I did, which is a bit confusing, I admit.)

- - - - -

And that concludes our interview! As I told Phil, it was so much fun to discuss a fellow fan's passion project like this. The more I read about it, the more I realized just how similar it was to my own experiences as a fan creator. We all start out as just a noob with a few unpolished skills, making something because we love it, and we learn and grow and hone our talents along the way. It's legitimately inspiring.

Needless to say, I am stoked to finish listening to the rest of this audiobook! Is it a bit weird knowing the creator of the thing might drop in and read my reviews?? Yes. Yes it is. But I'm gonna do it anyway. No holds barred! If I hear another cough, you're gonna know about it, Phil!

Also I may or may not do something with that audio of Merry because I'M STILL DYING OF LAUGHTER HELP

Anyway! If you made it to the end of this, you deserve a cookie! Everybody say thank you to Mr. Dragash, and go check out the other stuff he's doing nowadays! Namárië!

[yukidragon]

Can we have a one shot of Jack having a nightmare of MC marrying someone else, saying that they don't love him anymore and banishing Jack back in his VHS prison. Only to wake up with an empty bed causing more panic. But MC's just in the bathroom getting ready for the day.

You know, between this ask, and this absolutely heartbreaking picture by my good friend @illary-kore, I've been inspired. I say it's high time for Jack to get some comforting, and I'm going to use my specific MC Alice for it. Sound good? Awesome~

A reminder to everyone that Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack is an Adults Only fandom. Mature topics will be discussed, mostly in the form of psychological horror, body horror, angst, trauma, and a hint of spice. I hope you all enjoy this flashfic draft of painful nightmares and healing fluff.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

...

Alice was gone. Jack couldn’t feel her anymore. Desperately, he sought out any trace of her warmth, but all he felt was the hauntingly familiar cold numbness that grated on his senses and wore them away until there was nothing but static and an endless, empty pain.

No, no, no, no, no! Not again!

The gunshots, the screams, the crying, the pain… Jack felt that endless cycle of agony and death creeping in on his senses. It consumed him until the warmth he felt from Alice almost seemed like a lie, a delusion of heaven he created to escape hell.

Alice! Please, no… Alice! Sunshine! Help me! Save me! Alice!

Jack reached out for the barest whisper of warmth. Maybe he was just imagining it. Maybe he was deluding himself again, but that didn’t matter. He needed to find her. He needed her.

Alice!

There was a wall of ice so cold that his hands immediately felt numb when he touched it, even through his gloves. Vaguely, Jack remembered this feeling - a glass screen, a window that showed him his first glimpse of sunshine in forever. He slammed his hands against the glass blindly, screaming Alice’s name until his voice cracked and broke.

Faintly, through the static, Jack saw something to form. It was hazy, and only his left eye worked. He could feel the empty socket where his right eye used to be, weeping blood and tears down his face. He squinted his only remaining eye as he called out desperately for his sunshine.

Finally, he saw her, Alice wasn’t alone.

He was with her, the liar who tricked his sunshine and toyed with her heart. Ian was dressed like him - the new Sunny Day Jack… or rather the “only” Sunny Day Jack. He was a mockery of the original, redesigned and repackaged for a new generation that weren’t allowed to ever know that he was nothing more than a copy. He was a lie that would ensure everyone forgot the truth.

“Oh, Sunshine,” Ian said, his voice barely audible through the haze of static. “Alice, I knew you would choose me. We’re meant to be together… We were always meant to be together.”

“Jack…,” Alice said in a sigh that Jack barely heard, but she wasn’t talking to him. That name spoken so sweetly and with such a fond expression on her face was directed at the fake who held her close. “I love you.”

Alice! That’s not me! He’s not me! I’m the real Sunny Day Jack! Look at me! Don’t leave me here! Please! You can’t replace me with him too! Not you too!

 The kiss they shared was a rusty dagger gouging through his heart. Jack cried out, but his voice never reached them. They turned and walked away from him, slowly disappearing into the haze of static.

Alice! Please! Come back! You promised! You promised you’d never forget me! You promised we’d be together forever!

They were gone. Alice was gone… and Jack knew deep down in his soul that she was never coming back.

Please… Alice… my sunshine… What did I do wrong?

The despair was suffocating, the cold overwhelming, and the numbness that dissolved his senses and refused to let him ever find rest was maddening. Jack could do nothing but scream without a voice in the static and his memories of death and sunshine.

“Jack? Jack, wake up.”

Jack woke up gasping for air as if he was still capable of drowning, his body covered in a faint sheen of sweat. The cold numbness was still carved into his bones, but a glorious, beautifully familiar warmth caused it to recede back into the depths of his nightmares. His eyes - both of them - came into focus on his shaking hands that clasped tightly around two very familiar pale ones. He looked up to see Alice leaning over him, her brow knit and her pale blue eyes filled with worry. Although it was dark in their bedroom, it was nothing like the endless void he had been trapped in, and he saw his sunshine perfectly.

“Are you okay?” Alice asked. “You sounded like you were in pain an-”

Jack struck with the quickness of a cobra and snatched up Alice into his arms, who squeaked in surprise as she suddenly found herself pinned to the bed underneath him. His body, so much bigger and bulkier than hers, was a cage that surrounded her, securing her in place against him and refusing to ever let her go.

“Alice,” Jack said, his voice hushed and haunted. “Don’t go. Don’t forget me, please.”

It was difficult for Alice to make out his expression, as his hair and the way he loomed over her cast his face in shadow, but she could feel Jack shivering against her body. His breath was irregular, a bit ragged, and she could feel hot puffs of it against her cheeks. His hold was secure, but delicate, as though he was afraid that she would shatter into dust and slip between his fingers if he wasn’t careful enough.

Despite being trapped, Alice worried more about what was wrong with Jack than the position she was in. She could practically feel how much he needed her in that moment, and her heart went out to him. She brought her hand up to his cheek and he nuzzled into it immediately. He murmured her name and his breath tickled against her skin, sending a shiver up her spine.

“Jack…,” Alice said, her voice soft and soothing. “It’s okay. I’m right here. I won’t forget you, not ever.”

As the fear slowly began to recede, Jack became more aware of what he was doing and grew self-conscious about how he must’ve looked to Alice right now. This wasn’t behavior fitting of Sunny Day Jack. He needed to present only the best to his sunshine if he didn’t want to lose her. He looked away from her, growing bashful as he fumbled for a recovery, some way to smooth things over with that classic Sunny Day Jack charm that won over an entire nation, but Alice spoke first.

“Did you have a nightmare?” she asked gently, her eyes soft and focused only on him.

A nightmare. Of course. Jack almost felt stupid now for how he was reacting. Of course Alice wouldn’t leave him for some cheap imitation, or for that awful ex who toyed with her heart. How could he believe otherwise?

“Y-yeah… it was… It was just a nightmare,” Jack said, more to himself than Alice. He tried to shake off these feelings that were uncharacteristic of the Sunny Day Jack, giving his sunshine his sunniest smile as he let out a small laugh that came out more strained than he would’ve liked. “L-looks like I spooked myself pretty good, huh? But dreams can’t hurt us since… since they’re only our imagination running away with us while we sleep.” Reluctantly, he shifted so that he lay beside Alice in a more casual position, though he couldn’t bring himself to let her go. “I hope I didn’t give you a scare too, sunspot.”

Alice moved along with Jack so that she stayed close, hooking one of her legs around his despite the fact that it was obvious he wasn’t going anywhere. She wanted to make sure that he knew that she wasn’t going to leave him alone. “I’m more worried about you right now.” She slowly stroked the edge of his strained smile and felt the tension in his cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I’m swell as a bell, sunshine,” Jack said, his smile coming a bit more easily now. “As groovy as a smoothie. I just…” He forced out a small chuckle that was almost genuine. “I guess I got a little caught up in the moment, but it’s nothing some sweet dreams with good company won’t fix.”

Alice furrowed her brow. She could tell that Jack was trying to mask how he felt, which only made her concern for him grow. He had been fine earlier, when she snuck out of his arms and their bed to use the bathroom. Her “business” took longer than she would’ve liked, and at some point she had a bad feeling that something was wrong, which was only confirmed when she returned to the bedroom.

Jack had been a terrible sight, his body contorted and tangled in the sheets, his face twisted with panic and desperation. He croaked out her name and half-mumbled pleas that broke her heart. His hands weakly groped at the sheets until she snatched them up to hold as she roused him awake.

Alice could see the fear still haunting his dark eyes despite his attempts to soften it for her sake, making her heart ache for him all the more.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Oh, no, I don’t think that’s really necessary,” Jack said quickly. “It’s just a dream, and dreams can’t hurt us because they’re not real. They don’t ever have to be real…”

That last sentence was spoken under his breath, obviously not meant for Alice to hear, but she caught it all the same. “Yeah, I know that,” she said, “but that doesn’t mean they can’t make us feel bad. If something’s bothering you, I want to help.”

Jack hesitated, his resolve wavering in the light of his sunshine’s concern for him. He knew that he had to be perfect for her, to show only his best sides to her, but he could feel how much she ached to help him. A guilty part of him craved that feeling, especially when he could remember just how cold it was without her in his nightmare. “I… I don’t… I-I mean I appreciate it, sunspot, really, but I just…”

The feeling of Alice combing her fingers through his hair made it difficult for Jack to focus on his excuses, and his rambling eventually trailed off. She touched him so gently, stroking his head and drawing him even closer to her. She closed her eyes as she rested her forehead lightly against his, making him just that much more aware of her softness and warmth. He breathed her in, relishing in that familiar combination of sugar cookies, vanilla cupcakes, and something else that was distinctly Alice.

“I love you, Jack,” Alice said, her tender words sending a jolt through Jack that caused his heart to flutter. “You’re my partner, and my best friend. I’m here for you… whether you’re okay or not.”

Jack recognized the words that he told to her once upon a time, back when she was still hiding her pain from him, too afraid to let him or anyone else see her weakness. It made him waver. A part of him wanted to break down, to collapse into her arms and just unleash all those terrifying tangled up feelings twisted up inside his heart, but those feelings were too big, too horrible for him to even think about. How could he ever dare to risk crushing her under the weight of everything he had been through? How could he dare risk chasing her away showing her anything less than the very best version of himself?

He couldn’t go back to that hell. He could never risk losing his sunshine.

When it was clear that Jack was reluctant to speak, Alice continued in a gentle voice. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.” She leaned back just enough that she could kiss his forehead. “Just don’t force yourself to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jack closed his eyes and savored the feeling of her lips on his skin. Alice pressed soft kisses all across his face, making sure no spot was left feeling unloved. She finished by meeting his lips with hers, and he was only too eager to return the kiss to show his love in return.

When Alice eventually drew back to end the kiss, Jack couldn’t help but give chase, snatching up just one more quick peck before he could regain enough self-control to let her catch her breath. She looked up at him with a lopsided smile and lightly tapped his nose. “I love you whether you’re okay or not, starlight.”

Those words were his undoing. Although Jack desperately refused to break, in that moment he allowed himself to bend. “I love you too, sunshine… more than you’ll ever know.”

Alice offered Jack a lopsided smile. “Well then, I guess I’ll have to stick around if I want to find out just how much you love me,” she teased lightly.

Jack chuckled softly. “Nothing would make me happier, Alice.”

Alice drew him in closer, and Jack allowed her to guide him to rest his head on her chest. Her heartbeat thrummed against his ear along with her breaths, as her soft warmth cradled him and her sweet smell made her so much more aware of her. She was so close, her soft curves so tempting. He could drown himself in her, in that intense love and desire that came when their bodies meshed just perfectly together.

It was so tempting; they were both barely dressed. Alice was wearing only his shirt and a pair of panties while Jack had only his boxers on. It would be all too easy for him to just tear their clothes away and make love to his sunshine until he forgot everything but her name.

It was tempting, but Jack hesitated. This moment between them felt intimate in a way that was different than lovemaking but just as powerful, and he wanted to savor it just a little while longer.

That was when Alice began to sing, startling Jack. It was a song that he didn’t recognize, something soft and soothing, likely a lullaby. He was so taken aback by hearing her sing for him that the words failed to register at first, and all he could focus on was the warmth of her voice washing over him.

Eventually Jack caught the lyrics as well. It was a sweet song, one that promised that no matter what storms may rage or tears may fall, she would stay with him, and everything would be fine in the morning.

Her voice was beautiful, and the song Alice sang was sweeter than anything Jack had ever heard before. He melted into her, and his heart squeezed every time she repeated that she would be there with him, tonight and tomorrow. He keenly felt just how much she loved him, the warmth of her love filling him up like nothing else ever could. He made sure to share his love and gratitude in return, wanting to make her feel just as special and loved as she did for him. He would have said as much, but he didn’t dare interrupt this private concert that she sang only for him.

Instead, Jack silently thanked God for finally allowing an angel to save him from hell and bring him to this heaven made from their love. More than God, he thanked Alice for finding him, saving him, and loving him just as much as he loved her.

[what-have-i-unleashed]

unhinged unimportant rant about echo by crusher

long ass post about a song no one care probably, so imma put in under the cut. also these are my unorganized thoughts with no background in music theory/production sorry. however i will encourage you guys to listen to peak music 🗣️🗣️🗣️

the thing with the readmission remix is how much it is changed from the original, especially the format of it. so in the the original version, the format of the song is:

lyrical verse -> pre-chorus -> chorus -> instrumental verse -> bridge -> final chorus -> outro

but in the remix it goes like:

new instrumental verse -> chorus -> instrumental verse -> bridge -> pre-chorus -> final chorus -> outro

the remix completely cuts out the lyrical verse, which i find interesting thematically.

what's the lyrical verse? it's this:

The clock stopped ticking forever ago How long have I been up? I don't know! I can't get a grip, but I can't let go There wasn't anything to hold onto, though

in my opinion, the remix can be seen as either the sequel to the original or a reinterpretation, or maybe it's both - depends on how you see it. the way the original is formatted is that it has a classic traditional song format at first (verse - pre-chorus - chorus) and then it hits you with an instrumental verse. the remix completely messes that up by giving you a whole instrumental verse before the chorus hits and you wonder "wait where's the verse? why are we at the chorus now?". there's not lyrical verse! and the pre-chorus has been moved to the final chorus, which changes the whole vibes and story of the song! interestingly, the pre-chorus is also changed!

the pre-chorus in the original:

Why can't I see? Why can't I see? All the colors that you see? Please can I be? Please can I be? Colorful and free?

the pre-chorus in the remix:

Why can't I see? Why can't I see? All the colors that you see? Please can I be? Please can I be? The echo in the mirror?

i'm of two minds about this. it's either:

a) the "you" here is someone other than the echo. in that case, the original wishes to be "colorful and free" - free from a problem they perceive that makes their life miserable and lifeless. however, i think this interpretation, while valid, is kinda incongruent with the changed lyrics in the remix. so...

b) the "you" here is the echo in the mirror, which also makes sense. if you see the music videos, it's obvious why they're in black and white. the meaning behind the black and white color scheme and theme might be interpreted in different ways too. but it pretty much implies that the echo (from the other side, maybe?) can see colors (also a symbolism for different things depending on interpretation) and that's why the singer is envious of them and yearning for the same abilities.

the bridge is also changed - not lyrics though. in the original, there's this cool delay overlay effect where it seems like there's someone - some voice - is repeating what the singer says. like two beings, one copying another, like an echo. but in the end, the voice finally sings in tandem with the singer, supporting them, before both of them blends into this cacophony of singing voices. it's a really cool choice i think, because it feels like the whole song has been building up to that point where the echo becomes one with the singer. It's about fighting something within you, and you eventually become that thing you wish to fight against. you and the echo are one. at least that's my interpretation of it anyway.

but in the remix, the accompanying voices are gone, and there's only one voice singing. which i take to mean that, in the sense that this is a sequel, that the harmonization/amalgamation has been completed. there's that sense of stability that is free of haunting voices.

additionally, i don't know why but the original version (both music and song) is very much vhs/television coded, with the grain, the noise, the snow, and the vhs sounds. black-and-white can mean the envy of being left behind as a relic of the past, of being stuck in black-and-white while your "echo" - your better version - is moving to color.

(but also the popular interpretation is about bpd and/or did, which i think is also highly valid, considering how the lyrics mirror and resonate with people from the community! "i'm black, then i'm white // no! something isn't right" can be read as that!)

meanwhile, the remix has a distinctly... video game feel to it? the beginning is very glitchcore and noise music in my opinion. also it just sounds like something that would be played in a high-action video game. i think the contrast is what makes me have a specific interpretation for this songs.

the original is about fighting your demons and struggling to maintain your identity. there's waves to this song - the ups and the downs. the instrumental verse is especially interesting especially when you watch the music video. there's the ":)" parts and then there's the ":(" parts. there's that feeling of quickly swinging from one mood to another. of watching other people (the eyes) to see how they perceive you (there's that theme of mirror again). there's the gleeful manic high and the short briefs of unsatisfied lows. the bridge ("i'm gonna burn my house down") feels like this obsessive intrusive thoughts that keep haunting the singer. i feel it's about self-destruction, as the singer slowly gives into the temptation to burn bridges with other people and discard their own safety.

the remix has a consistently manic and high-energy feel to it, as if the singer is enjoying the destruction, maybe of themself and other people also. there are no eyes, only a screen showing many clips playing as if the singer has become the observer instead of the observed. the ":(" are no more in the instrumental verse. as the singer sings in the bridge, there are no voices overlapping with them except for in the end:

I'm gonna burn my house down And never look back (Look back) And n-n-never look back (Look back) And never look back (Look back)

the voices are telling them to "look back", instead of encouraging them to "never look back" like in the original. this is interesting, since i kinda take it as this is not the voice of self-destruction, but of their past self being guilty and wishing to make things different in the past. this melancholic part leads right into the pre-chorus before the final chorus. i would argue that the pre-chorus becomes the emotional low point in the song. there's that envy, that guilt, that longing. but they're unable to act on those feelings, because we're right back to the high-energy music after this.

all in all, very interesting choices all around for the remix.

[alwaysalreadyangry]

Lost media adventures: Hobberdy Dick

So the other day I was trying to find out information about the Japanese edition of Katharine Briggs’ children’s novel Hobberdy Dick. Katharine Briggs was a British folklorist and author who died in 1980 and I swear I saw recently that her long out of print 1950s children’s novel Hobberdy Dick, about a friendly and mischievous household spirit (a hobgoblin, or hob, named Hobberdy Dick) who lives in a house in the Cotswolds in the interregnum period (just after the English civil war in the 17th century) was still in print in Japan. Curious.

But when I googled Hobberdy Dick + Japan what I turned up was even curiouser. There was a short-lived anime made of the book in the early 1990s, which was subsequently dubbed for many other markets such as Poland and somewhere in Latin America (im going off the videos I can find on YouTube and information in a blog post written by the composer of the theme tune). the languages this Japanese cartoon were dubbed into do seem to include English, although the show never aired here in the UK - it seems to have aired in Canada and possibly the USA.

The show was called Yosei Dikku in Japan, which translates roughly to Fairy Dick, and I think it was called Hobberdy Dick in English language markets. But this is largely guesswork based on what I can find online. It’s not a very easy title to google.

There is almost nothing available about this show online, apart from a few clips in different languages, a blog post from 2016 by the theme song composer (he was asked for a demo and only found out at around the time he posted about it that the demo had been used as a theme song), and a list of episode titles in German.

The show was never made available on DVD or even VHS. It seems to be lost media now. If anyone ever gets hold of a copy of an episode or two — let me know. Or if anyone remembers watching it… please let me know what it was like. What do you remember about it?

And now: here’s the theme tune and some more music from the show. The theme in particular is great - the composer wanted to make it sound like Fairport Convention. I love the lyrics. Perfect for a Japanese ear show about a fairy in the Cotswolds. I found this compilation video on a Chinese website and have mirrored it to YouTube for embedding purposes, and to make sure I have a copy available if that one ever vanishes. In the video you can also see the cute character design of Hobberdy Dick, and a few more visuals.