#please nobody talk about this atrocious background

[queencloudy-art]

I've had some p nasty art block so here's a new farmer putting her future wife in her fucking place 💛

[onebizarrekai]

v3′s art is comically terrible for a professionally distributed game in a series: a compilation

in this not-essay I will list all of the mistakes and problems I have spotted in v3′s art. don’t worry, it’s entirely for fun and I’m doing this on a whim, so please feel free to not take this seriously but also it’s hilarious and embarrassing how ridiculous this is like what happened did they speedrun the whole production or what

see, there are some things you can take as meta like “they made it bad on purpose to allude to the downfall of tv shows that have been on air for much too long” but I have a very strong feeling this is not the case due to the nature of some of these errors

disclaimer, the more I study this art, the more I fear that the artists were underpaid and underslept, so if this is in fact the case, I am so sorry to all of them but also I’m going to make fun of the art anyway

anyway let’s get started!

if you study this image for longer than 5 seconds, you will see that kaede is the only one fully shaded and keebo is literally just his normal sprite pasted into the image. every other character is just an ordinary ref, hence most of them facing the exact same direction with neutral expressions on their faces. it looks like a bad edit, and is probably one of the worst pieces of art in the game. it kind of gets better from here on, but my roasting will not.

with that out of the way, here’s the problem that officially bothers me the most and clarifies my viewpoint of “this is not meta and an actual lack of company communication”

this freaking cg, which seems normal at a glance, but some wiseass was like “oh, kaede is a girl, so obviously she’s going to be shorter than the Male Protagonist™” ah, that’s funny. because if you look at the character bios, kaede is, in fact, one inch taller than shuichi and not like 6 inches shorter as she is shown here.

also shuichi’s shoulder is disproportionate and horrendous and he looks vaguely like a jojo character, but I wasn’t even thinking about that until right now.

thanks guys, 50% of the fandom who has never bothered to check these bios thinks that kaede is like 5′3 (did the developers really put so little thought into her to the point where drawing her correctly in the game didn’t even matter??)

also I would like to point out that, even though this isn’t related to the art itself, yes, a character kaede’s size being only 117 lbs is unfeasible, but this applies to literally every character in danganronpa ever and it’s not new news that it’s unrealistic

update: someone in the tags informed me that in versions of the game that use centimeters, like the japanese version, kaede is actually shorter than shuichi, which just adds another thing to the list of weird decisions the localization team made for no reason. that said, after confirming this, kaede is 167 cm in the original, while shuichi is 171 cm, which are approximately 5′6 and 5′7 respectively, but one inch is still nowhere near as drastic as it is depicted above. (in spite of this, I would rather depict kaede as slightly taller, so I’m probably going to keep doing that.)

the journey continues!

bro if you want kaede to have shoulder length hair then stick to it to begin with

you can pretend this is at an angle all you want but they definitely committed the shorter kaede sin a second time

wait a goddamn second.

DO YOU SEE THIS

no………… it wasn’t kaede who shrank. it was shuichi who got taller

speaking of which, can we talk about how shady the perspective is in this elevator pic? look at shuichi and kokichi in comparison to kaede. kokichi, who is canonically 7 inches (edit: or 5, if you’re loyal to the original) shorter than kaede, looks taller than kaede. he’s growing too. what steroids are these gays taking

running into the room, electric boogaloo: I don’t think tsumugi is supposed to be the same height as kokichi

gonta… gonta you’re lookin a bit like a jojo character there

I love how kaito’s head looks kind of like it was pasted onto his body. why is he the same size as shuichi? shouldn’t he be high school bully size or something? his torso is teensy

ah yes, white angie.

I love this cg but why is shuichi’s right hand so much bigger than his left hand

I also love how this cg looks like they literally took pictures of trees and pasted them into the background, especially on the left. the shadows are so weird, especially closer to the ceiling, it’s difficult for me to believe they didn’t do exactly that.

return of Enlarged shuichi

puberty update: kokichi is now taller than shuichi in spite of shuichi never missing leg day. what crimes will he commit

I have to mention it, guys. this has to be one of the worst danganronpa cgs. kokichi’s facial proportions look atrocious. look at the way his face sticks out like his jaw is in the wrong place. his scarf is a pasted texture. that’s it. this moment was so iconic but the cg just looks so… so… off. like something is terribly wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

you know what? let’s get into that ‘pasted texture’ thing.

let’s imagine you’re an artist working on a professional game. you’re assigned to draw cgs of kokichi ouma, who has a checkered scarf from hell. sure, it will be terrible to draw, but you only have to draw it once at a time! plus, perspective is pretty important, right? can you be bothered? nah, actually. let’s just copy paste a checkered pattern into the cg, because I’m sure nobody will notice. it’ll blend right in with the other cgs that someone actually put effort into drawing his scarf in, right?

no. the answer is no and I very much noticed. this genuinely looks terrible and I would understand taking a shortcut like that in fanart or even an indie game but this is a full price pc and console distributed game

(an addition: look at kokichi’s TINY HANDS in that last one)

meanwhile, they straight up forgot to color in kokichi’s scarf in this cg.

dude. I forgot about whatever the hell this cg was. anyway look at keebo please just look at him

lovin kaito’s baby arms

real talk, maybe you could argue that he’s missing muscle because he’s deathly sick, but most of his cgs don’t line up with this, and his arms just look disproportionate to his torso size (granted this is a consistent problem across all danganronpa games and a lot of characters have this weird problem, like hajime, but also kaito is bigger than hajime so I kind of have higher expectations of him) maybe it’s his stupid goatee and the way he reminds me of yasuhiro?? it creates this illusion that he’s older than he is and so I keep expecting him to look more like an adult

oh, also rantaro is missing some of his accessories in that video he made–you know the one–but I don’t wanna go back and screenshot it

also you may have noticed that I’m skipping all of the monokub cgs because I literally do not care about them and I’m not even bothering to check and see if they have artistic mistakes in them

JIMMY NEUTRON???

hey um uh kaito you seem to be missing your neck

hey guys do you like my pregame fanart

so, that done, the sprites are also pretty terrible at times. they’re not as interesting to go through, however, and downloading the full sprite sets for every character and studying every single one of them will drive me insane, so I’ll just sum some of the ones I noticed up. I made things for kaede and shuichi before deciding I wasn’t going to get into it, so here are these.

that said, other mistakes include kokichi missing his purple highlights in all of the sprites encompassing a specific pose, stray pixels all over the place on everyone, and everyone also has heavily inconsistent shading, but literally all I think about is how pregame shuichi is unshaded and two of kaede’s pregame sprites have glaring outfit change mistakes in them

anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my ridiculous ramble. in all seriousness, there’s this looming presence of some lack of communication in the development team, like with all the art and design inconsistencies, pieces and sprites that look rushed, stray pixels, and missing basic proportional stuff. these are the kinds of things that you supposedly have to pretty much have in the bag in order to get jobs in professional businesses, so it’s really weird to me that this game suffers from so many of these problems. it’s like they tried to make the art so much more crisp than the other games, but it fell on its face as they realized it was going to take longer to draw everything and they started to rush. it’s weird, because the coloring itself looks normal–it’s just sloppily drawn, and the proportions are a mess once put into the context of perspective. many of the cgs look like they were drawn by different people, and I’m still not over the fact that half of kokichi’s cgs have his scarf pasted in as a texture.

the moral of the story is that if you’re selling a game at full price that also happens to be in a series that has had 3 very good games in it already the stakes should probably be higher than this. v3 has been out for more than 3 years and it’s still $40 (did it cost more than that before? I sure hope not), and the overarching quality of the game is just not as high as the other games. I’m not saying that the other games don’t have any problems with their art at all, they’re just not as glaringly obvious and every artistic choice in those games feels intentional.

regardless, I had a blast roasting the art at 2am, so maybe you got a kick out of all this chaos.

[stachmousworld]

Big ole freak (part 1)

Saw the “prompt” here ( @honeychicanawrites​ I def love her blog. I wouldn’t have known about Florian if it wasn’t for her. Check her blog at your own risk because I left with a serious case of female blue balls, so yeah). 

Pairing: Florian Munteanu x black!virgin (woman) character

Tag: Smut/tease 18+, Daddy kink

Part 2

German nicknames: Süsse(r)= sweetie. Süsse with a ‘e” is for women and a ‘r’ men.

Schnücke = no translation in English but it is a nickname for your lover.

Schatz (Schatzi/Schatzen) = treasure

The day had been long. She gazed with longing at her bed as she arranged for the umpteenth time her bonnet. She patted the elastic, sending a prayer to the God to let the bonnet stay tonight. She had stayed 9 hours to get her hair braided, she’d cry if in the morning they were a mess. Too concentrated or too desperate by her critical situation, she almost jumped in the air when her phone rang.

Hand on her chest, she took a few shaky breaths and grabbed her phone on the bed. There was only one person who’d call her tonight and it was her boyfriend.

Florian Munteanu.

Since she’s been with him, their usual late nightcalls had been more and more tensed. At least on her side. Every word he said turned into innuendos. Every glance held an underlying message. She really didn’t know if it was true or not.

Florian was her first boyfriend. First hug, first kiss, first spanking (she blushed), first ‘kind-of’ dry humping. It was getting too much for her to handle. If she had to masturbate another night, her clit would come off.

The blazing ringtone pressed her to do her mantra faster. Every night they’ve been talking, she looked at her reflection and promised herself to talk frankly about this sexual tension with Florian. He’d make her fears disappear and tell her that she was imagining it.

As she were to answer, she remembered her bonnet. She sighed, defeated. Her thumb pressed the “answer call” icon.

“Hey, Süsse,” he greeted, voice as deep as she remembered.

She smiled softly at the nickname. Since she found out he was German she hadn’t stopped nagging him to teach her a few things and talk to her in his mother tongue. There was always a shift in his personality when he talked in German. His voice became deeper, he was more relaxed and would crack more jokes. At least that was what she thought. When she’d ask about it, he’d blush yet so slightly but never really translated what he said.

Her own knowledge in German had been basic before. A few greetings and insults and maybe she could hold her own when she had to talk about basic mundane things, but Florian was more of a deep discussion type of guy, despite what his appearance could give off. He was tall, bulky and agile. So, most people assumed he was all brawl no talk.

“Hey, Süsser,” she replied, timidly. Her accent wasn’t so atrocious. She’d spent many hours listening to videos and songs in German, but still, talking to her lover was somewhat difficult. “Wie geht’s?”

She waited with bated breath his reaction, which didn’t come. She groaned silently, pressing her head against the corner of her phone. She repeatedly hit her forehead with it. The screen suddenly turned on. The picture of Florian appeared.

Oh.

She accepted the video call and rearranged herself fast. She patted her head and felt the satin on her head. She bit her lips and tried to take it off as swiftly as she could. In vain.

“Hey Schatze! Can you repeat for me, please?” He asked. She dropped her hand on her lap. She’d have to resign herself. Her bonnet would stay for tonight.

“Was?” (What?)

“Kannst du wierderholen? (can you repeat?)” He asked again. His eyes gleamed with something akin to joy. She felt herself blush. His green eyes would kill her one day.

“Hell…” She cleared her throat. “Hello Süsser, wie geht’s?”

“Gut und du, Shatz?” He asked, slower than normal. His face was closed to the screen. She was afraid he’d bumped his head on the screen. She unconsciously moved forward. If he was here, I’d kiss him, she thought, with a hint of desperation..

“Gut. Ich hab’ den ganzen Tag studiert. (I have studied the entire day.)” She barely stuttered and made it to the end with almost no problems. She unclenched her sweaty fingers and wiped them on her satin shorts. She was both excited at the idea to keep talking with him in German and stressed because she knew at some point she’d be lost.

He hummed and eyed her face for a couple of seconds. His eyes settled for her lips. He licked his own. She closed hers, swallowing slowly. He groaned. She leaned forward and hit the phone. They both laughed at their foolishness.

“You were the one to say that it’d be good for us. But I feel like I’d lost my marbles,” he complained, rolling onto his back. The sudden change of view made her clench her legs. She could see the top of his muscled chest and his abs. If he tilted the phone, she’d be able to see his navel.

“I don’t remember saying that…” She grumbled. “I clearly remember telling you that it’d be hard. And since you love all types of PDAs, you’ll suffer a bit.”

He whined childishly in German, throwing his other hand in the air. She laughed at his antics and sat down legs crossed. She moved her phone from left to right, swaying softly, waiting to hear the end of his complaints. The more she swayed, the longer the song “Big Ol’ freak” played in her mind.

Tongue out, she fell back on her stomach and shook her ass on the beats. (“I want to fuck in the mirror, I like to look at your face when you’re in it”). She writhed on her bed, slowly grinding on the mattress. When she was at the chorus, she jumped to her feet, crouching and twerked (“Ain’t nobody freak like me. Give ya what you need like me. Ain’t nobody got up on their tip tiptoes and rode to the tip like me..”) She singsonged under her breath.

That’s why she totally missed the tension in the air. She tumbled on the bed with a “oof” and took a few breaths to relax. She was getting better at squatting, but it was always a workout.

Then, she noticed. Florian wasn’t talking anymore. She laid still, totally mortified. She pressed the phone on her chest and tried to find some apologies or explanation.

What the hell, she mouthed annoyed, kicking her legs in the air and punched the air with her free hand.

“Schatzi? Come on let me see your face.” She didn’t move one ich. “Show daddy that sweet face of yours,” he, now, growled.

She automatically crossed her legs, enjoying the sweet pressure on her swollen clit. She obeyed and raised the phone. Florian stared at her through half closed eyes. He looked edible. His jaw was tensed, his cheeks were slightly blushed, and his eyebrows furrowed. She barely repressed her moan. Barely. And the way his eyes flicked from hers to her lips and cleavage, she knew he had heard it too.

The green of his eyes turned a dark emerald. She caught a movement on the lower part of the screen. She followed his movement, from the kissable shoulder to the appearing muscles, tensing and relaxing as he moved.

She couldn’t see past the wrist. There was…she brought the phone to her ear. There were faint wet noises on the background.

“What is the noise in the background?” She asked, naively.

Florian hissed before replying. “It’s what you do to me, Schatzi. I’m so hard for you.” He tilted the phone. “See what you did to daddy.” He was stroking his throbbing erection.

Her mouth dropped and she let go of the phone which landed on her forehead. She yelped and massaged roughly the sore spot.

“Baby?” He asked, worried. “Are you okay?”

She hummed unable to think clearly. He had shown her his…the word wouldn’t even come up in her mind. He had been jerking off probably when she was dancing. That’s why he hadn’t talked. Despite being mortified, she felt proud to have elicited a reaction like that.

It was the first time she saw a “real” dick and it was not expected. At all. Eyes closed, she tried to remember how it was. The tip had been flushing red. It was long, really long, and his girth…she moaned. She did know the theory about sex but this…his penis (she blushed harder) would never be able to go inside. Now she was certain of it.

All the times she had sat on his lap, she always mistook his dick for something else. It had always seemed too big and hard, even soft.

“Baby?” His voice came through louder. “Ist alles ok? Entshuldi-„

“Everything is good, Süsser. You don’t have to apologize, I was just…”

None of the words she had in mind were right.

“Repulsed by me?” he offered.

“No!” She exclaimed, quickly. “No. It’s the first time I see a…” She trailed off. It was one thing to say it in her mind, and another to say it out loud.

“My…?” He asked, amused.

She glared at him.

“You know what I mean, right?”

“Nein,” he repliet, cheekily.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and whispered. “Your penis.”

“Yeah, what about it?”

She opened her mouth to be snarky but decided otherwise. Two could play this game. She may be a virgin. A blushing virgin. But she was a brilliant actress.

“I didn’t think it’d be that big.”

Florian was taking her bait. His mouth stretched into a dark smile. For a few seconds, she saw nothing but a black screen. She played with the lace of her top.

“Are you gone?”

“Ein moment, bitte. Scheiße! (Fuck!) Wait a few seconds, please.”

His voice sounded muffled. She leaned forward to listen better.

“Gut,” he told, in a hurry. “You can watch now.”

The screen went from black to nothing. He must have put the phone on the table because she was all his bedroom. Nothing had changed. No, she squinted, the bedsheets we—

She almost screamed in surprise when Florian naked form appeared in front of her. She resisted her first instinct to chuck the phone in the room.

He is playing with you. He knows you are bluffing, calm down, she coached herself. I will win.

“What were you saying, Süsse?”

He was standing a few feet from the phone. His entire frame wasn’t even on the screen. Her eyes darted to his erected dick pointing at her. Florian spat in his hand and stroke his dick. Few drops of precum glistened on the tip. She bit her tongue to keep her composure.

“I sai…” Her voice was high-pitched. She cleared her throat. “I said that your dick was bigger than I thought.”

He hissed, dropping his head to his chest.

“Hm. You know exactly what I you did to me.” He accused her, darkly. She opened her mouth to retort but was stop by his moan. “Süsse…I saw your glorious ass bouncing in the air, and all I could see was my dick...” He moaned louder. “…in that tight pussy of yours, stretching you out and hitting your sweet spot, God.”

She babbled unintelligibly. She pressed a hand on her pelvis trying to erase her pleasure. As she moved a wet, squelching sound resonated in the room. She hoped, prayed that he didn’t hear anything.

There again, her prayers stayed unanswered.

“What was that Schatzi?” Florian slowly approached from the phone. His face became predatory. He grinned and hissed her name. Again. And Again.

“It’s nothing?”

“If you are asking me, I think my baby girl’s sweet pussy is dripping wet and feels so alone right now.”

“It’s not that,” she mumbled, awkward. At every move, the sound grew louder. She felt her eyes grew teary. God that was embarrassing. She looked away.

“It is. And you have nothing to be embarrassed. Gosh, no. Baby, look at me.” She shook her head. “Baby, I promise, I’ll hide my dick for you, but look at me.”

She chuckled. True to his words, she couldn’t see his dick. His face was the only thing appearing on the screen. But nothing could erase the motion pictures playing in her head.

“Are you ok?”

She nodded. Florian shook his head, disapproving.

“Your words, Süsse, Dadd – I want to hear your voice.”

She bit her lips at his mistake and refrained a gasp. Hearing the word daddy coming out of his mouth was sinful. She was already wet. She didn’t even know if she’d be able to handle him physically.

“I’m okay.”

He eyed her warily. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” she replied quickly.

“Yes. We have to talk about it. Do you remember what I talked you about a few months ago?”

“Consent is the pillar of all relationships. If one of us say no, the other has to stop. I’ll have to respect your boundaries and…”

“And I’ll respect your boundaries.”

Oh. She had forgotten this part.

“So, if you tell me that you are not okay with something, I’ll stop,” he kept going.

“Ok, but I wasn’t really…it wasn’t...” She struggled to say her thoughts. Her brain was sending mix signals. She was dripping wet and aching for him, and also filled with longing.

“Take you time, I’m not going to disappear.”

“It’s the first time I see a dick. And I really like you, so it was a bit overwhelming. Plus, you are not with me right now and you promised to teach me how to please you.”

Florian closed his eyes, letting a low growl.

“You don’t even know what you are doing to me. Baby girl, your honesty turns me on so much.”

“Daddy,” she moaned softly, finally letting go of her inhibition.

Florian’s face reflected his longing and pain. His eyebrows were frowned, his face tensed, and the muscles of his neck looked strained. She felt the same. She’d do anything to have him by her side.

“Take off her your pajamas. Show daddy your pretty body.”

She pushed back her fears and stood up. Hands trembling, she took off her shirt first, then her shorts. She didn’t know what to do with her arms. She crossed them over her breasts, then let them hang. She shuffled a bit, awkward.

She looked everywhere but at him.

“Godly…turn around, beautiful,” he complimented, awe clear in his voice.

She turned around slowly and stood there. A few insecure thoughts came through her mind. Was her back beautiful or worth looking at? And her butt, wasn’t it too flat?

“Turn around again, face me,” he mumbled, concentrated.

She obeyed and kept her eyes straight in front of her.

“Go on the bed, put the phone at the head and spread those legs for me.” She flinched eyes wide. “And then you’ll touch yourself, pretending that I am there for you.”

Every fiber of her body wanted to be a brat and make him work for it. She swallowed her stubbornness and obeyed. It took some time to set everything in place, and maybe she took a bit more time due to the fear and excitation of the unknown.

She laid down, legs straight.

“Shatz, open those beautiful legs for daddy.”

She slowly opened her legs. Florian gasped.

“Don’t even think about closing them,” he ordered huskily.

“Didn’t think about that,” she lied. She didn’t remember when she shaved, nor when was the last time she looked at her vulva. Was she clean enough? Was it good looking?

He caught her up on her lie and tsked.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“Who?”

“Sorry, daddy.”

He hummed in approval. Without being asked she caressed her nipples and twitched them. She gasped as pain and pleasure bursted in her breasts. Florian breath grew wilder. She could hear him as clear as if he was near her. More confident now, she made her way to her groin and opened her lips. The squelch resonated loud enough for him to hear.

He was hissing and moaning, unashamed.

She circled her clit with two fingers. The swollen bud almost vibrated under her ministrations. She closed her legs as the overwhelming pleasure washed over her. She felt warm, lightheaded and empty.

“Open your legs, Süsse. Zeig mir was mein ist (Show me what’s mine).“ He ordered.

She reopened her legs, this time making a show out of it. She raised her head to see what he was doing and almost came at the sight. His dick was profusely leaking, which made her mouth drool. She put two fingers in her mouth and sucked it following his own movement. This time she didn’t gag. It had taken a few hours of practice for her to be able to suck all of her knuckles with no effort. But this dick…God…she was for sure choking on it.

She could see it. She’d be on her knees, drools all over her face and half his dick in her mouth. She looked at him with teary eyes and try relentlessly to take more of him. Florian would slowly thrust into her mouth, not caring that she couldn’t deepthroat him. She could already taste his precum and cum in her mouth. She’d play with it in her mouth and swallowed it. Then, show how a good girl she was.

She groaned as the pleasure took her higher. She left her clit for her hole. She played with it a few seconds, enjoying the anticipation of what would happen.

“Can you put a finger for Daddy, please Süsse,” he begged, his voice booming through the phone.

She fucked herself on her middle finger. A loud moan escaped her mouth as the itch inside her was being scratched. Not enough though. If Florian was there, his long and callous fingers would fill her up way more. He’d be able to reach far enough.

She added another finger and pressed them both in as far as she could. Tears started pooling in her eyes as frustration overcame her pleasure. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t big enough, nor long enough…

“Daddy,” she cried, pumping faster her finger in and out of her.

“Baby girl, what is it? You look so good, spread on the bed like that”

“Too empty, want you…”

Florian’s shallow breath appeased a part of her. He, also, shared her frustration. She wasn’t alone in that.

“I know, baby, I know. But when we see eachother, I’ll make up for my absence don’t worry. But for now, make yourself come. I want to see my best girl come.”

Her climax took her by surprise. One moment she was listening, completely entranced, to his voice and words, and the other, her walls spasmed around her fingers and her clit throbbed. She slid her fingers out and caressed her oversensitive clit for more pleasure.

She hissed in pain/pleasure until her body calmed down.

Still out of breath, she looked up to her phone to see why Florian was suddenly silent, only to face a black screen.

He had hung up.

 Fin part 1 

Next and final part

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Wandering Witch Review - The Most Disappointing Anime Ever

I wrote this for my Season in Review but it’s so fucking long and I feel like quite detailed so I decided to post it early and let it be more or less standalone.  STHEGFTSBDBAATS is short for “shows that have everything going for them and should be delightful but are actually total shit” for context btw.

Well lads, here we are. The ultimate, most personally offensive STHEGFTSBDBAATS. Wandering Witch, or The Journey of Elaina, or Majo no Tabitabi – whatever you wanna call it. This show sincerely had the potential to be anime of the year for me and it cocked it up, such that this is literally the most disappointing anime I’ve ever seen bar fucking none.

But alright, let’s get the “why I was excited” out of the way. And there are 3 big reasons. The first 2 are actually just from the title – Wandering Witch. Wandering, so we’re a travel show. Immediately exciting. That’s a genre I adore a whole ton. Getting to travel and experience these fictional worlds and see all the vastly different locations and cultures and people that make the world up, that’s genuinely super interesting to me, I love seeing what these sorts of shows can come up with. And then Witch. We a magical girl show baby! I love magical girls a whole ton obviously, and witches specifically are a really fun subgenre with typically more defined mechanics for the magic and the slightly less overbearing designs than are often the case in magical warrior type shows. Both of those things are exciting to me. And fuckin combined? A magical girl travel show? Sounds awesome. Imagine the types of people we’re gonna be able to meet in a setting like this, if we’ve got a witch then we’re probably in some beautiful fantasy landscape and might encounter magical creatures like dragons and shit on our travels, that just sounds sick!

And then the 3rd big reason I was so excited for this is the titular Elaina herself. A travelling witch show would be enticing even if the witch was some crusty old green fuck, but instead the show decided to give us one of the most beautifully designed characters I’ve ever seen. Just skip the rest of this paragraph if you don’t want to read horny posting lol. But anyway Elaina is just aesthetically fucking perfect, the gorgeous and flowing silver hair, that shade of an almost violet looking blue in the eyes, her build is super great, she’s got a hot sleeveless outfit, her normal witch gear is cute as fuck, she’s just stunning, I simp so hard for her. I don’t want to get too explicit but despite the fuckin LN writer saying “no panty shots please” this was still like the most erotic show this season for me just because of how much I constantly wanted to fuck Elaina. She is an adult by the way to cover my bases. I realise nobody wants to read me talking about my sexual fantasies with this anime girl, but Elaina’s design really is all that and more, and so I was so glad it was her we’d be following throughout what already sounds like such an exciting premise.

Now there were also a lot of smaller reasons I was looking forward to this show too – the PVs showed off some really nice character artwork and more than that, some really stunning backgrounds – there are a lot of genuinely gorgeous locales in this show and that’s something that remained true even when the show turned out to be atrocious. And we also got a cast announcement early on showing that Elaina would be voiced by the ever delightful and adorable sounding Kaede Hondo, which is hype. And then supporting character wise the show goes even fucking harder – with Kana Hanazawa, Tomoyo Kurosawa and Yoko Hikasa being the big standouts. In hindsight, announcing a supporting cast in a travel show should’ve been a red flag, but we’ll get to that. What’s important is that it’s a good fucking cast.

All of this is basically just to say that Wandering Witch is literally the most excited I’ve ever been about a seasonal anime that wasn’t a sequel or spinoff to something I was already interested in. I had extremely high hopes and wanted to adore this show.

The first episode airs. It’s a true introduction – an origin story for Elaina. It tells of how she wanted to become a traveller like Niké, a novelist witch who also travelled the world. So Elaina studies magic, gets really fucking good at it, and becomes an apprentice for a woman called Fran. Fran basically has Elaina slave around her house until Elaina gets sick of it and complains, which Fran wanted, and so she tells Elaina to basically speak out against injustices and to not put up with other people’s shit. Alright, nice lesson. It implies to me that a core element of Elaina’s character that will come into play in future episodes is that she’s a very vocal and involved person who is going to act on her own feelings more than the feelings of others, and speak and act out against things that she has a problem with. It’s a fine first episode with a good narrative arc and a quite lovely tone that sets the rest of the show up well too. But starting on an origin story, that’s a bit unusual for this genre. Somali is the only other travel show I can think of that did that, but it was only about a minute, and they waited until one of the way later episodes to properly show it off. Wandering Witch just gives us a regular origin story ending on a 3 year timeskip to say she’s 18 now. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with breaking the conventions of a genre, but I do think it’s worth mentioning that Elaina is the worst travel show I’ve ever seen and also the only one to open with a full origin story. Coincidence? Probably.

But honestly, no, because opening the show how it did sets Elaina up as a certain kind of character that she just, never is again for the rest of the show. Elaina in every episode after the first one has only a single consistent character trait, and that’s that she’s conceited as fuck, and completely obsessed with herself. Now I’m also obsessed with Elaina but that aside, that’s not really an endearing main trait for a character to have. And she’s conceited to the point where it’s at the expense of others by the way – and of course episode 1 sets Elaina up as not taking anyone’s shit, but I don’t like that that only applies to herself. Following an outright unlikeable character in a travel show makes me want to not have a protagonist at all. The only conflicts she consistently finds herself resolving are those that personally inconvenienced or offended her – someone called her tits small so she stomps grapes for a while to teach that person a lesson, or someone cut her hair in her sleep so she fucked said person up. If it bothers Elaina, she’ll do something about it.

Like I said though, that’s Elaina’s one consistent character trait. So let’s get to some inconsistencies. In episode 5 I believe it was, she helps these 2 witches overthrow a king’s ruling that nobody in his country is capable of lying. Why is this a conflict she decided to help out with? Who knows. Or maybe she’ll open a box full of a powder that causes everyone in a country to be madly in love, and she’ll help solve the problem because she was “responsible for it, so should fix it”. So in both instances she chose to help out with a problem, but only one of them she had a part in causing – why? And the thing is, if she was some sort of altruist that just wanted to help people, this question wouldn’t even need to be asked. But in episode 4, she outright refuses to help another witch fight a dragon that terrorised her country because she “has nothing to gain from helping”. You didn’t have anything to gain from helping in the liar country either! What makes this different? And then she solved a problem she was responsible for, okay, is that gonna be a consistent character trait? Nope. In episode 3, Elaina brings toxic flowers to a country, is told that they’re toxic, and so she basically just ditches the flowers with the country and leaves them alone. She doesn’t go save the girl who gave her the flowers, nor does she actually stop anyone in said country from going to the flower field and all dying together – bearing in mind she’s responsible for bringing the flowers to them in the first place and polluting them. Elaina is literally responsible for the death of a country and clearly has a chance to save these people but just doesn’t. Elaina only solves conflicts she’s responsible for sometimes. And the thing is, that would be okay if Elaina showed any sort of guilt or, really any reaction at all to situations she didn’t help – but she literally has a complete nonreaction to that flower field thing. I guess she herself is safe, so there’s no reason to feel bothered, right? Okay, but what about in episode 10 when Elaina tries to stop her acquaintance from murdering a murderer child, fails to do so, but comes home completely safe and cries about it! So wait, you literally murdering a country elicits no response from you, but you failing to stop a murder is what humbles you and brings you to tears? Why the fuck are your reactions even different? Why are you such a horribly written and inconsistent protagonist?

And as if Elaina being shitty and inconsistent wasn’t enough, let’s talk about this show’s tone as a whole. It needs to be understood that, in being a travel show where we’re going to lots of different places and cultures and people, the tone for this show can be a lot looser than one might expect in other shows. That is, the tone of events specifically. What I mean by that is that if in one episode, Elaina has a really happy reunion with Fran and hangs out with her students and just vibes, and then in another episode Elaina sees a girl who’s father murdered her child, so girl turned said father into a dragon by burning her memories for fuel, forced said father who’s a king btw to destroy his kingdom, and then the now amnesiac girl prepares to kill her own father, and it’s all quite dark and fucked up, yeah that’s fine. Stark difference between the positive episode and the negative one, but there’s nothing wrong with having events with such drastically different tones on paper.

The problem is once again the inconsistency – there’s no overarching tone for the show. Using Somali as an example again, one episode of that show might see Somali go build a snowman or get a toothache while another sees some harpy girl tell the murderer of her parents who she’s been travelling with for a decade or so that he’s not allowed to die because she loves him, and he should atone for the sin of murdering her parents by staying alive and living with her. Fucked up beyond belief compared to the toothache shit but the show always feels like the same show because it knows when and how to change tones and maintain a balance. Elaina just doesn’t. Episode 8 sees Elaina’s hair be cut in her sleep by someone who wants to sell dolls with real human hair to weird fetishists, so Elaina and some blonde girl raid the secret auctions, see some fucking otaku trash puppets in bunny suits or lingerie, and Elaina gets her hair back. The literal next episode, Elaina will travel back in time to stop a murder that made a child so jaded that said child became a murderer, only to learn that the child was always a murderer, and the lady she travelled back in time with is so fucking furious that she burns her own memories of friendship with said child to violently destroy said actual child. This is just too far. The tone of one episode is some excessively comedic otaku pandering bullshit, followed by everything is shit and the world is awful, no lesson learned. The comedic episodes are just such indulgent bullshit and the dark episodes are always needlessly pointless and cynical. If you’re gonna do fucked up and sweet things in the same show you need to be walking a tightrope and maintaining a delicate balance, but Elaina just doesn’t do that at all, it does anything and everything under the sun with no regard for the grand picture and it results in a complete fucking mess of a show.

And then to harp on Elaina herself again for a minute, she actually works fine as a character in the comedic episodes since having a silly and conceited main character in silly and indulgent episodes is fine. But in the fucked up episodes, Elaina’s still just conceited and now it’s obnoxious because she’s just incapable of recognising the gravity of her situations, she has no reaction so it’s impossible for us to be invested either. That’s actually why child murderer episode works, because it’s the one fucked up thing Elaina actually reacts to at all.

So the tone is a mess, the main character sucks, do I have anything else to complain about? Yeah. Remember when I said that the amazing cast actually should have been something of a red flag? What I mean by that is that, once again, this is a travel show. We should be going to loads of different places and seeing loads of very different people. And yet there are just a frankly fucking stupid amount of recurring characters, and they’re all annoying. It takes until episode 5 for Elaina to see Fran again after episode 1, and they reminisce on how nice it is to see each other again even though that time has felt like fucking nothing for us. Blonde girl is just in like 4 episodes just so they don’t have to introduce a new character. Saya is probably in most episodes of the show and literally her sole character trait is that she really wants to fuck Elaina. Like I relate to that, sure, but that isn’t something that needs to be personified, and let alone so omnipresent throughout the show. None of these characters are remotely interesting, they’re all super annoying, and every single second spent on shit recurring characters is time we could have spent on actually introducing new and interesting characters from different cultures who have different experiences to share. But no. Let’s just have Saya say she loves Elaina again. They don’t even justify the recurring characters’ presence by like, developing them as characters or letting their character traits evolve in any way. Saya loves Elaina is literally the only joke she ever gets and it never changes, the punchline is always the same. It’s just miserable. And a waste of the skills and talents of these voice actresses too. Never expected to want a Tomoyo Kurosawa character to not be part of the show but Saya really is just insufferable.

So every character is awful and the tone is awful and most of the plots by extension. But at least the countries we go to should be interesting, right? Please god, this show must have something redeemable. Nope. Almost every country we visit in this show is just a backdrop for whatever stupid shit needs done that week. Elaina goes to a country where everyone is a mage. That’s literally as far as the concept goes. Elaina goes to a country where everyone isn’t allowed to lie. That’s literally as far as the concept goes. Elaina goes to a country where everyone likes dolls. That’s literally as far as the concept goes. If a country ever evolves beyond its premise, it’s only in the most basic and obvious way imaginable. Elaina visits two separate countries divided by some sort of wall, really boring nothingness happens, and the walls are torn down so now everyone is united. Some of the countries she goes to are literally just backgrounds – the country where Elaina opens that love box has literally no culture or interesting people in it – it purely exists to have a place where the story happens. The time travel episode sees Elaina express interest in seeing what this country was like 10 years ago, but we don’t even get to know what it’s like in the present, and Elaina doesn’t even remark on what it’s like in the past either – it’s literally just an excuse to get more mileage out of backgrounds by redrawing them slightly. None of them are memorable, none of them are creative, there’s no country in this entire show that’s worth fucking anything.

Okay, so close to nothing about the show is good, but that first episode was a nice start, so maybe the ending works? What the fuck do you think? Elaina walks into a country that makes all your dreams come true, and apparently, Elaina actually wanted to see all the other possibilities that could have happened on her journey. If she turned right instead of left at that crossing, what would have happened? Well obviously, she’d turn to slime! Yeah the last episode is an excuse to do more otaku pandering by drawing Elaina over stock character templates – such as stupid, delinquent, gay, tits, gay, suicidal, slime, suicidal, ghoul, suicidal, greedy, glasses, and so on and so forth. The fact that they reused stock character templates multiple times is just groan-worthy. The actual thematic conclusion of the episode is that one of the Elainas is edgy and wants to kill the other Elainas out of self-loathing, and Protagonist Elaina calms her down. She does this by lying when asked a question she has an answer to so that she can delay the conclusion and give us an action sequence instead, before arbitrarily deciding “okay now I’m gonna answer the question”. Fucking why? What did Elaina have to gain from hiding this from edgy Elaina, it benefits literally nobody. They don’t even fucking pretend Elaina has a reason to do so either – if she had some fake bullshit reason we could all disagree with that would at least be something, but no, she literally only lies so we can have an action climax. It’s fucking shit. Awful end to an awful show.

Now here’s the part where I’m gonna score the show. Originally, the plan was to give this a 2/10. And I would justify why it’s not a 1 despite all the horrible qualities it has just by saying that; the visuals are still really quite nice, backgrounds especially are usually lovely and all the magic animation is consistently flashy and cool - the soundtrack is solid, ED and especially OP being standouts – the voice acting is nice as to be expected from what’s ultimately still a great cast – some of the episodes are enjoyable as self-contained pieces completely ignorant of what the show as a whole is – and I still really really really want to have sex with Elaina.

But to be honest, do those qualities alone really elevate this show past a 1? Are they enough to make up for the sheer hatred I have for every other element of this show? Does the fact that I want to fuck Elaina change the fact that she’s one of the worst protagonists I’ve ever seen? I don’t even think so. I had such high hopes for this show, and the thing is, I’ve certainly seen some shows that I expected X from, but got Y, and was disappointed. Elaina is still what I wanted it to be on paper. We’re still a travel show about a witch going from place to place, culture to culture. I wanted X and got X, it’s just that everything about X happened to be fucking atrocious in this instance. And honestly I think that makes the show even more disappointing to me. Sure Assault Lily sucked, but at least in having no clear identity or structure it was able to surprise me. Wandering Witch didn’t. It played to my exact wants, and just did a terrible job at doing that. And yeah, I think that is more disappointing. Fuck it. Writing down all of my problems with this show, trying to lay it all down in a hopefully orderly fashion, it’s made me realise the truth.

Wandering Witch is a 1/10 anime. And by far the most disappointing show I’ve ever seen.

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 19/?

Wedding Planner AU [xicheng edition]: “Chickens on the Loose”

[let me have this]

Jiang Cheng doesn’t believe in love and that’s precisely the reason why he plans other people’s special day. The most extravagant, the boldest, the loudest, the better. Because if there’s something he got to accept over the years is that people aren’t willing to pay for something realistic, but for something unattainable instead. Over-compensating bland, ordinary reality with fantasy and dreams is his job and he’s well aware that no one can compete with his genius. Not with his father owning a catering and food chain company. Not with his mother being the most sought out wedding gown fashion designer on the market. They taught him everything there is to know on how to make other people’s dream come true before the inevitable envelope of a dainty, innocuous divorce application can make its way in a once happy household. Better make the satisfaction last, because Jiang Cheng will only accept advanced payments in cash, no monthly installments allowed.

His sister YanLi may have married honoring tradition over useless exaggeration, but what did her love bring aside from suffering and neglect? Marrying into the richest family in the country to the heir of a textile empire has given her nothing but sorrow and a husband too proud and distant to even visit her regularly. Jin Ling growing up without a father, spoiled rotten by the wrong side of the family who lured him into their shining world of nothingness day after day. At least Jiang Cheng’s family did rise from nothing and learned to trick the rich into relying on useless services soon enough. But Jin ZiXuan and his family had never worked once in their life and didn’t know how to take care of their loved ones. Not that Jiang Cheng’s parents could do any better, their marriage a wasteland where no love could grow, but at least they were honest about it. Better enjoy a dream while it lasts.

That is why if even Wei Ying’s marriage were to turn out to utter shit like YanLi’s, at least it will not be Jiang Cheng’s fault. Everything needs to be perfect, from the vows to the tea ceremony, from the food to the color scheme, from the seat arrangements to the music. Hell, some of his stepbrother’s requests may be too much to handle for most, but not for Jiang Cheng and if Wei Ying wants a parade and a whole week worth of celebrations, Wei Ying will have exactly that.

Hence he will not, under any circumstance, allow anyone snooping around as he plans the wedding of the century. No, not even the fiancée’s overprotective older brother asking people for blackmailing material on Wei Ying behind Jiang Cheng’s back. Not even if he pays him in nature, no ma’am.

... . ... . ... . ...

Lan Huan is the best divorce attorney in town precisely because he believes in unconditional love. That’s why he doesn’t see the point of two people (or three people, on one memorable case in Europe) spending the rest of their life together if change is inevitable and something to be expected. He would much prefer to get the best deal out of it for his clients and prevent children to suffer from it in the process.

Judges fear him and his diplomatic smile that can never hide his tunnel vision drive for victory. His trusty private investigator Nie HuaiSang is equally terrified by his assets, but still feeds him with the juiciest details whenever Lan Huan asks for favors, discreetly requesting the younger man to do background checks on this or that subject. Settlements may be nice, but not if the (soon to be ex) husband or wife in question can be easily found guilty of adultery, gaslighting, or even violence. Not on Lan Huan’s watch.

That’s why his world gets completely turned over the moment his younger brother Lan Zhan announces his intention to marry a man he hasn’t known for a full three months yet. Truth to be told, Lan Huan had never seen him this happy: glowing with something akin to adoration, affection dripping from every pore, love spilling all over just by mentioning one name, Wei Ying. In case this rascal happens to crush his precious baby brother’s heart, Lan Huan needs to find dirt on this man and squeeze everything he has out of his dead cold hands the second his brother files a request for a divorce.

But for some reason Nie HuaiSang cannot seem to be found for the job this time around. Not unlike most of his other contacts and informants, who have seemingly disappeared at the mention of his brother’s fiancee’s name. If this Wei Ying is such a big fish in the sea to make even Lan Huan’s most loyal colleagues dissolve into thin air, then he must find the answers by himself.

And if it means to bomb the wedding preparations to get shit done, oh he will. He’s not above flirting to get what he wants, but if this Wei Ying turns out to be a good person in the end... well. Lan Huan prays things won’t get too messy to proceed with the celebrations in the end. Hopefully, that is.

[fun stuff under the cut.]

NHS went to uni with Wei Ying and he knows LXC won’t find anything on him bc WWX himself is a blackmail master and will 100% diss you in front of your children calling you out on your deepest secrets so no. NHS will not mess with that and he urges to do as much to all LXC’s informants and sources.

JC looks scary but his staff loves how dedicated he is and they make bets on when he’s going to lose it and sleep with someone out of frustration. although they think he gets more turned on by going over every point in his check-lists at times...

LXC’s colleague always ask him if he’s dating anyone, clearly to set him up with someone (who will not be of LXC’s liking, he’s sure). to which he answers by smiling and lying saying he has a terrible personality. since nobody believes him, he asked his friend Meng Yao to make a scene at the firm once: (all too pleased to mess with his bestie’s reputation) Meng Yao murder-walked into the office and demanded to meet LXC, only to cry in front of everyone and smack him across the face for cheating on him. THEN his sister A-Su made her sudden appearance and smacked LXC’s other cheek lamenting the same, ridiculous thing. the two siblings gaped in fake horror at each other before spitting on LXC and storming off of the building.

NMJ laughed his ass off for weeks after the sharade. he started dating A-Su not long after (with both JGY and LXC’s blessings) bc he was mildly impressed by her willingness to jump on the opportunity to make a fool of both LXC and her brother at once. LXC thinks they are a good match, but he worries A-Su might be too tiny and full of undiluted mischief for NMJ to be able to handle her antics.

NMJ used to date LXC, but they were too driven and competitive to let their relationship get in the way and in the end they stopped seeing each other. they still care deeply for one another, but they love their jobs at the firm too much and making things messy at the office wasn’t worth it. A-Su knows about it and doesn’t feel left out because of it, glad that they settled into their respective lives while still being loyal friends to each other.

JGY tries to set LXC up with a new woman every week, saying he would benefit from having a cute wife taking care of him. but LXC doesn’t know what business JGY has to talk about women that way when Meng Yao’s been a raging homosexual since the first time he has landed his eyes on another boy in kindergarten. too many crushes on boys to even be aware of how many hearts he has broken in his life. all those pretty girls falling for his looks, poor kids. only JGY’s younger brother Mo XuanYu could rival his victim count, but barely so.

ZiXuan is secretly keeping an eye on his half-brothers and half-sister while he works as a representative for his family company and this is mainly the reason why he has distanced himself from YanLi and Jin Ling in these past few years. he would like to approach his three half-siblings and maybe have a chance to rekindle lost relationships, but by stressing over it he is losing sight of the found family he actually has. YanLi wants him to come around, eventually, but she knows how lonely ZiXuan has been with no siblings and how secretly jealous he is of the bond that she has with her family. so she won’t pressure her husband, but she feels lonely nonetheless.

the two wangxian lovebirds are too happy to notice the mess LXC is making and they don’t even realize he’s there until like, three days before the actual wedding.

LXC may be a shark but he’s not subtle. JC doesn’t know what he does for a living but he assumes he has too much time on his hands, hence not someone worthy of his time. but LXC always causes troubles on the venue or messes up with the flower arrangements or prods for information to the wrong people and JC is over it.

“if you don’t have anything better to do help me find the sommelier so I can ask him what’s wrong with him and if he studied anything at all” or “if you have so much time to waste be useful and learn how to make flower crowns for the children to play with” or “if you can sit on your ass all day at least look over my nephew while I go look for someone to emotionally bully to let off some steam.”

Jin Ling is five and even more bossy than his uncle and orders LXC around to be his pony when JC should babysit him at work. LXC discovers the boy is JGY and A-Su and Mo XuanYu’s nephew and that JC doesn’t what any of them to interact with Jin Ling. but LXC secretly lets them hang out with the boy when JC is too busy to notice.

JC and LXC get closer the more the latter understands that there’s not much dirt on Wei Ying (aside from some questionable pictures taken during a university party back in the days, but that’s beside the point). LXC appreciates how crafty and ingenious JC is, always helping others around instead of just shouting orders...even if his temper is atrocious at times.

JC forces LXC to take dance lessons with the lot of the main family members and LXC meets JC’s mother for the first time. she is competitive about her dancing skills and Wei Ying tries to win her over by asking her to show everybody how it’s done by leading her ex-husband in a tango. after publicly humiliating her ex-husband (and making him fall in love with her once more), she insists on practicing a waltz with LXC and basically threatens him to cut off his balls if he dares to lead JC on with his charms.

LXC realizes he’s been playing and flirting too much with the man for him not to notice, but JC seems oblivious. no. he’s completely oblivious and kind and beautiful as he dances with Jin Ling and twirls him around in delight. LXC played too hard and now he’s in too deep.

the only source of drama in this would be JC finding out LXC let Jin Ling hang out with his other uncles and aunt despite the warnings. JC was starting to trust the man... and LXC stabbed him in the back. he would have much preferred not to discover it from his nephew (who let it slip that LXC “told him not to speak of his uncles and aunt to Jiujiu”), because he would have given LXC a chance to explain himself otherwise. but no. JC cannot have good things apparently and now he’s heartbroken without even knowing why.

without the lucky charm that is JC (holed up in his flat eating junk food to forget the pain of being an afterthought in other people’s lives), everything goes to shit three days before the wedding: the chef quits, the tea set for the ceremony breaks, one of the maids has accidentally torn apart one set of wedding robes and so on.

the venue gets flooded with live chickens when a truck transporting them breaks down in front of the building and the chicken escape. Jin Ling is loving every second of it, but everything gets destroyed in the ruckus and JC’s hard work is ruined.

Wei Ying is heartbroken and Lan Zhan silently accuses LXC of being the cause of this and urges him to fix the mess unless he wants to receive the cold shoulder for the rest of his days. but LXC is a cowards and spends his time actually fixing the broken things or replacing them or finding seamstresses to help with the garments and so on himself. anything but facing JC and be rejected.

ZiXuan comes to his senses and blurts out that “he really just wanted to have a loving family” the moment JGY, A-Su and Mo XuanYu come check on LXC. they hug and cry and laugh and YanLi gently reminds them that this is not about them right now and that they should help with the preparations if they have so much time on their hands. her mother is very proud of her and nods appreciatively at ZiXuan’s shocked and weirdly intrigued expression after being humiliated so boldly in front of everyone. the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree indeed.

the day before the wedding Wei Ying threatens to call the wedding off if JC doesn’t show up for his big day: not because he’s the planner, but because Wei Ying wants him close on his happiest day and he will not have it any other way.

LXC goes to fetch JC in his apartment himself the night before the wedding and they yell and they make peace and then they make love and then they woke up late the next day and they have to rush to the venue.

Wei Ying is livid until JC appears and then they celebrate the wedding of the century. A week of celebrations later Lan Zhan deadpans that they actually got married already like, one month in after meeting each other, but Wei Ying wanted a big wedding and he didn’t want to deny his husband a single thing.

JC tries to strangle his brother as the last family picture is being taken.

give me an award already.

[yourwakingnightmares]

I wanna talk about Disney for a moment. Specifically, Disney’s Star Wars.

Because to me? What they did with these Star Wars movies? Classic Disney at this point.

They bragged about how ‘diverse’ they were with the new Star Wars movie. Rey, Finn, Rose, Maz, Phasma, and so on. Disney rode in on their high horses to grandiosely announce how ‘diverse’ they were.

And yet.

Let’s take these in order, shall we? I’m going to try and keep these points somewhat brief, as I could go on for ages about this. Please do bear in mind: I hold no animosity, and a great deal of sympathy for these actors, and I do not condone any slander against them as people. We can criticize the character, but the actors should be off-limits.

Let’s begin.

With Rey, they bragged about the first main female character in Star Wars -ignoring Leia, Ahsoka, Padme, and so on. However... They wanted to brag about giving us this ‘gift’, but they did nothing with her. Rey was the classic blank slate character, a Mary Sue straight from the pages of a young writer’s FF.net fiction. They spent exactly zero time turning Rey into a well fleshed out character, instead just settling for, ‘she wants to find her family’. They spent zero time turning Rey into a human being, and settled on, ‘she is perfect and can do no wrong’. They ended the series with Rey literally taking everything she hadn’t earned, and then stealing the OT characters’ name, and said, “Look how progressive we are!”. They didn’t want Rey to earn things on her own, they didn’t want to give her plots where she learned that a name was meaningless, and didn’t define her. They just wanted her to look cool, be badass, have zero faults, and be the main centerpiece. They wanted their ‘good ally’ tokens, but didn’t want to put any work into it.

Fin had a similar problem; they bragged about the first main black Star Wars character (again, ignoring Lando, but we’ll let that go for now). But what did they do with Fin? They spent zero time on his continuity, zero time on his personality, and by RoS, he’d become nothing more than the comedic relief -something I particularly find abhorrent, given that this was the classic ‘funny black best friend’ trope that I’ve seen so many times. He went from being a Stormtrooper to a janitor. Even John Boyega criticized this, saying that Fin was given no direction, no purpose, and that they shoehorned him into RoS. In the posters for the Asian market, he was literally shrank down to almost nothing, and hidden away in the bottom corner, to appease the Asian markets. Disney wanted their ‘good ally’ token for having a main black character, but didn’t want to put any work into it.

Rose? What even was Rose? Was she a character? They took an attractive woman, and made her frumpy for some reason. They turned her into the laughing stock at her ‘we do it by saving what we love’, turning her into the lovestruck girl willing to damn her friends, and her cause, for the sake of the guy she fell in love with over a few hour period. The only background we received was that she joined the Resistance because rich people funded the First Order who destroyed her home. That was it. Her lines were atrocious, her character development non-existant, and she was literally the most obvious, forced, ‘see, capitalism bad’! billboard I have ever seen in my life. (Note: I’m not complaining about the ‘message’, but rather the delivery: this is akin to telling children, ‘murder is bad’ -and then acting like you’ve said something poignant). They wanted their ‘good ally’ token for having an Asian female, but they didn’t want to put any work into it.

Maz Kanata? Shit, don’t even get me started on this walking Yoda ripoff. She was in TFA solely to give Rey the lightsaber, and tell her to find Luke. Literally, she does nothing else. She’s not given any character, any dimension. The one opportunity we had for getting some background on this character -namely, how she had Anakin’s lightsaber -we were told, ‘Eh, don’t ask’. Like, literally, the character said, “Another time.” in response to being asked how she had it. She appears in TLJ just long enough to say, “Go find this dude who spends all of his time in this casino, and ask him to help you -I’m very busy, so I can’t help you, but this guy I’ve had sex with in the past -he can help you.” That was it. Her entire screen time was about two minutes. They wanted their ‘good ally’ token for having a half-black/half-Hispanic actress voicing her, but didn’t want to put any work in to.

And good lord, Phasma. This character was presented in the movies as the ultimate bad guy; both Gwendoline Christie and Disney screamed from the rooftops about how awesome it was that there was a Star Wars female villain, and how we would love her due to her ‘actions, and her character!’. And then we were presented with roughly seven minutes of screen time, in which she did nothing, other than antagonize Fin somewhat, only to pathetically die to the janitor man. They wanted to get their ‘good ally’ token for having a female villain, but they didn’t want to put any work in to it.

The lesbian kissing scene? Not only were they unnamed characters, one of which I don’t think we’d ever even heard speak... Not only was it a brief, four or five second shot of them kissing in the background... but it was cut from international markets. They wanted the American progressives to give them their ‘good ally’ tokens, but they were too afraid to stand by their decisions.

And that? That pretty much sums up Disney at this point. They’re the ultimate cowards. They will do only the most cursory things to get the progressive community to hail their movie, but they won’t do a penny more. They’re too afraid of losing money. They’re too afraid of angering the international markets. They want the appearance of being socially progressive, but they don’t want to put anything but the the briefest of efforts into doing it -and then they minimize what they have done.

It’s sickening. I have zero respect for cowards. I respect people who’s opinions I find abhorrent more than I respect cowards. Because it takes conviction to stand by something you believe in -it can be wrong, disgusting, or immoral, but at least you have some conviction in what you believe. You’re willing to take a stand for what you believe in.

But cowards? Cowards jump to stay with the ‘in-crowd’. Cowards do whatever it takes to make sure nobody says anything bad about them. Cowards care about profit over conviction.

[sonderrow-moved]

                           LINK TO QUINN            LINK TO JAEL           LINK TO ROY

LIKE for a preestablished relationship/plotting line with Archer… BUT have at least one category in mind before I hop in your IMs!

I entirely get the urge of wanting to roleplay, expand our muses together, and this is my personal starting pack for Archer! If you’re hooked to one category but don’t think your muse can fit still HMU about it and I’ll see how we can work that out!

REMINDER I HAVE A LOT OF THREADS. Like often a lot. Roleplaying is something that effortlessly really relaxes me, but I am still one human. I like to see all my threads through no matter how long the wait is and do my best ! Thus we might not be threading right off the bat depending on how much stuff I have, but everything established can get into asks, dash shenanigans, etc. What matters is that it shapes our characters. 🙏

BUSINESS PEERS. Archer’s professional and very efficient work ethic made him notorious in unspoken matters as someone who will get things done with no needs of public recognition… which would lead to inner, private and ultimately more treasured recognition. He used to have clients, partners and met a lot of others at parties he went frequently to, mostly charity parties often disguised as business ones. Those partners may have known his father, maybe his grandfather, or maybe they’re fresh right out the bat, maybe the Kessler company sought them, maybe your muse’s company sought them and you stumbled upon him. Mind you that Archer has made the scandalous decision to sell the majority of his actions towards the company and doesn’t get more involved than necessary with its activities. This profile fits to every muse high enough in the business ranks to meet Archer; at least chief of a team in a department. It’s all about title. Do be reminded that the Kessler company is known to have an illegal and scandalous history as of NOW and that a lawful good muse would probably not want to be associated with it, or any muse wanting to go legal.

LEGAL WORKERS. With the horribly enormous pile of cases Archer’s been involved with, he needs a lawyer cabinet to back him and his business. Multiple ones. Maybe it is a genuinely crooked one, or a blindly optimistic one who believes his claims of innocence and being against the world, maybe the whole cabinet is broken and as a newly employed lawyer you are still too innocent until you notice. Law enforcers and government representatives knows how much Archer is guilty (or not), making him infamous in their ranks as one of those irritating cases where the system doesn’t seem to work. For muses working in the justice system, on any side, from judge to prison guard.

“FRIENDS”. Archer lost all of his friends when he was accused and imprisoned. He would have done the same thing; every one who was still linked by friendship to him risked everything. You’re one of those, because you’re not an idiot… or maybe you are and you did lose everything to keep your integrity. Or maybe you really were too stupid and loyal and believed Archer did nothing. This applies to particular muses who can fit in a scenario like this. Although for the sake of social standing Archer could “befriend” quite some people, he had a particular preference towards artists and introverted yet talented minds who had lots of potential, wanting to make them grow.

CRIMINALS. Con artists, mafiosos, yakuzas, drug dealers, maybe assassins, thieves, hackers, corrupted law enforcement agents, rich guys with illegal fetishes… Archer has dealt at least with all of them at least once. As a “cleaner” before he finally sat down on the CEO chair, Archer was the one who by circumstances became known for his professionalism, cool head and ability to erase any evidence from even the most alarming and need-to-be-quickly-done situation. Even a killer who does so as a hobby or for personal gain would eventually be caught as he goes on, unless he can take a contract or too, and have him give a helping hand in exchange for secrecy.  This applies to muses with at least a medium-ranked profile in the underground (so no simple alley drug dealer unless plotted).

ENTERTAINERS & SEX WORKERS. Given how Archer sees sex as being an extremely powerful tool, he often got around the latter, choosing carefully which escort he’ll personally put at his services. Archer kept the best ones at hand, to please contacts and clients. He respects them for their work, but he wanted professionalism from you and not cry if you got almost cut in half after a night. Although he stepped down from his CEO position, Archer was pushed into his sire’s hotel line, which secretly dealt with human trafficking and prostitution. With his experience, he slowly is coming back and is moving all his contacts over there, wanting to change his approach. Despite the need of running a very real business, he cannot ignore the amount of work his sire’s illegal business brings. This profile fills every muse working in the sex business outside camshows and movies. They don’t have to be the ones close to Archer.

VICTIM(S). Archer is a very high-rated criminal. Although he has only been found guilty of extortion, corruption, blackmailing, piracy and other business-linked crimes, he was accused but not found guilty of sequestration, serial murder, serial rape, torture, committing indignity to a body, publishing obscene material, harassment, insert lots of other legal terms surrounding this. Accusations which have been highly mediatized given how high profile he was at the time, him being used as a scapegoat and the scandal only worsened when it was said it was both on minors and adults. I won’t get too much on what the truth is, but if you’d like your muse to be victim of Archer’s real crime(s), do hit me up I’ll be very selective on this given it’s important to his background story. This profile would fit highly disturbed muse, hobos, prostitutes, people living in very poor districts, pretty much people who have the perfect victim profile. OR it can also be other businessmen, common people, those who would have their life ruined indirectly or directly any organization Archer was or is involved with, the most common being as putting you in debt with the mafia knocking at your door to kill you, break your legs or torture someone you love until you give them what they want.

NEAR THE VICTIM(S). There are suspicions your friend/lover/brother/whatever was done wrong because of Archer. Maybe you’re the one who pressed charges. Maybe it’s not you, but in some way you were involved indirectly in the scandal and it did something to you and you have your own opinion on it. Maybe you seek where Archer is to kill him, maybe just talk to him and understand… something.This profile fits a muse who has lost someone close to them in suspicious circumstances.

PARTNER IN CRIME. You were there and you liked every bit of it probably (or if not you’re surely dead). VERY SELECTIVE. This profile fits muse with probable sociopathic and/or psychopathic tendencies who knows their way across the most fucked-up places of the underworld.

OBSESSION. High profile criminals with atrocious records are known to, sadly, have, yes,fans. Your muse believes that Archer did most of what he was accused for, choose to your discretion. Maybe they wanted to visit him, maybe they sent him gifts and mails, maybe they were already almost obsessed with him BEFORE he was accused given his bit of a disturbed but extremely charismatic and successful behavior and just FELL more as he was sequestrated. This profile fits muse going to the simple nerd with morbid curiosity to the very intense stalker.

MATCHMAKING. Since his teens, Archer has met multiple people for a potential marriage; the woman in question and the relatives that accompany her. And… when bored, his sister has the nasty habit of wanting to play matchmaker with him; Archer may not be the best person, but he’d hate to not make up to someone his hell of a relative tricked. Self explanatory. Archer’s sister, Eve (Everleigh), is owner of two modern galleries, so single people susceptible to befriend her could fall into that trap.

SCHOOL FACES. Archer cut next to every tie which couldn’t help in business after he graduated from university. It was brutal and without much warning although given how he was drawn to his duty, nobody was surprised. Archer got schooled at home as a child after becoming a depressed before going to a rich high-end private school. Afterwards, he became a star tennis player and the moral support of the team. He was also the president of a literature club where he was able to bond a bit with nerds and was known to tutors younger kids he believed had potential to help his reputation or parents who had power to help his family. Archer was mostly loved by everyone, but still bullied the weak or didn’t hesitate to stomp on other to raise himself higher. Victims of his young impulses, partner or rival in the tennis court, maybe the librarian, maybe a classmate, maybe someone from another school who always saw him and wanted to know him. This profile fits muses that Archer would not talk to unless he knew them from the past. Mostly younger muses that leads a life that has nothing to do with his work. RP can be during his younger years or simply skipped to the main verse.

MEALS. As a vampire, Archer consolidated his hypnotic powers and feeding, starting to leave some preys alive, but dazed and forgetful at times. On top of the numbness and blinding aphrodisiac the poison in his biting provides, he is able to leave the impression like their meeting was a dream; victims will remember vaguely his face, voice or other depending on characters, but not remember the feeding. However, willing and loyal ones may even befriend Archer, who finds consenting people much easier to deal with than laying bodies and sudden disappearances. This profile fits grey morale muses, ones who loves the supernatural, masochists, etc. who’d trade their blood and silence in exchange of being around a vampire. Archer only feeds on females if they ask directly for it or if there is nothing else, highly preferring to feed on males, which is linked to his sexual preferences.

RED LIGHT DISTRICT. Archer has become a prominent figure of the red light district; as the one guy who owned everything (which is not true, but blown out of proportions). Due to the forceful, ruthless and undeniably lustful reputation his sire has, being the envoy puts him in a powerful position where the line between him and the one who turned him might blur to others, as if they were the same person. Anything new in the district goes through him and pros and cons are weighted for healthy competition. Outside the hotels and their affiliated businesses, Archer personally owns two bars; one is lounge gay bar and the other one of the same style, only for the supernaturals of every shape and form, with products to cater their needs. Both are actually places made to cater to his difficult and high maintenance taste; if you cannot find it, do it yourself. Those bars include their own staff, which he selects himself to make sure nobody he would find inappropriate works under his image. As for the hotel line itself, it includes its own staff, administration, underground administration and staff, restaurant staff and entertainment staff for diverse shows and parties thrown. This profile fits any muse which would frequent the red light district, from newcomers to others looking for a job, frequent visitors and owners of businesses. From the woman who runs an escort club with a heart of steel to the bartender who just wants to pay his education fees to the security guard who has nightmare about the noises he hears behind closed doors.

HITMEN. You were paid to fuck with him, but thing is it’s pretty complicated. This profile is picky since obviously the attempt is going to fail and you cannot always RP back and forth attempts. This would be nearly a comical bond with a need to plot a resolution depending on your muse!

SUBMISSIVES. Archer’s history as a dom was… infamous. Long story short, he was known to be good, but dangerous. With a more stable mind he wouldn’t mind going back to one of his favorite hobbies. The deal is simple; he owns the person obviously, no penetration sex, no deep kissing, no romance (which doesn’t mean no affection or love) and not to start screaming about it on the streets. Although he wouldn’t mind so much now to play by the rules, if allowed Archer will become ruthless, enjoying giving permanent marks on others and inflict gradually harsher punishments or rewards. This profile fits, well, masochists and submissives people, from any form and shape really (a victim is a victim) who are willing to give their body for a mutual game, be they be paying Archer or not. Very selective… because Archer is difficult. The way he treats your muse can be from pretty sweet to downward harsh… entirely depends on what degree he finds your muse attractive. Beware scars and broken parts. Sessions can last from one evening to a whole weekend.

MISC.I’ll add more when I think of them! DO THROW ME YOUR IDEAS LET’S GO.

Like with any interaction, relationships are officially in the singleverse timeline if it is roleplayed to a minimum extensively. Looking forwards to write with you!

[serenagaywaterford]

It’s aggravating to see aunt Lydia get some sort of redemption arc both in the new book (Why, Margaret?!), and possibly in season 4. She should be the last person to get it, as far as I am concerned. She is a real believer, the only one who’s totally devoted to Gilead, 100%. Not even Fred, or other commanders, and certainly not Serena. Yet, people scream bloody murder if there is even a hint of Serena turning to the good side. But they want it for aunt Lydia, fuck’em!

RIGHT?!

Without going into how bad a book The Testaments is (cos, lbr, it isn’t a good novel), I was just SO disappointed that even Atwood went that route. I mean, it was a bit obvious that Miller wanted to soften Lydia and that absolutely atrocious, nonsensical, bullshit S3 episode was proof of that (and what an insult to Ann Dowd tbh. She deserved so much better).

I literally cannot buy any of the “Aunt Lydia isn’t THAT bad! She’s not like Serena! She just a true believer!”

And...???

I don’t see how she’s not worse than Serena? The only thing people seem to think about is 2x10. 

“Well, Aunt Lydia didn’t help Fred pregnancy-rape June!” 

No, she didn’t. That’s right.

She just chained her up in a basement, force fed her, and threatened her with death over and over and over until she completely broke her psychologically and made her into a walking zombie-womb to serve her One True Purpose -- to such a degree that even Serena (Serena! The one who wanted a perfect obedient Handmaid!) is like, “WTF?! This is too much, yo. Where my snarky baby factory at?” 

She beat and maimed other women in front of June as payback because she knew she couldn’t touch her. (Hmm, familiar? Except Serena slapped Rita. Aunt Lydia literally burned Alma’s arm over open flame.)

She took Janine’s EYE for merely talking back(!), and Lilly’s TONGUE, and attempted to get the Handmaid’s to murder Janine themselves. She’s had June’s feet lashed so hard she can’t walk--MULTIPLE TIMES. And those are only the abuses we know about. But, no, she didn’t help any husband rape June, that’s true. 

“UWU LYDIA! She’d never suggest such a thing like Serena did!” 

No, she wouldn’t but not because she cares about JUNE lolololol; she cares about the BABY and it is a terrible idea medically for a healthy birth (which is incidentally why I don’t buy that whole 2x10 episode. Serena’s disgusting and furious but she’s not fucking stupid.) That is all Lydia is concerned about. That is her validation and her raison d’etre; if she doesn’t produce obedient Handmaids that give men healthy babies, she’s failed. And I don’t believe that it’s entirely fear that motivates her. She seems to get a very clear sort of power trip and glee from exercising such brutality on young women. Hence, her attitude and acceptance towards how the system treated Natalie. Babies above all! Fuck women, they’re literally just machines. They are BROOD MARES.

“Aunt Lydia didn’t hold June down to be raped every month!”

No, she didn’t. That’s right.

She just trained 100s or 1000s of girls with brutal torture to lie down and take it. She fully supports the Ceremony. Fully. 100%. Even horrible Serena hates it and VISIBLY is uncomfortable with it (but she’s a selfish, delusional coward with anger & jealousy issues so she abides it).

Absolutely everything else Serena has done, short of writing an anti-feminist book and making speeches pre-Gilead, Aunt Lydia has also done. Randomly beat June? Check. Lock June in a room? Check. Scream at June? Check. Uphold the ideals of Gilead? Check. Aunt Lydia ACTIVELY abused, tortured, maimed, bullied, and straight up murdered numerous women. Not just one or two. How many Handmaids has she “trained”? COUNTLESS. Without a hint of remorse. Sometimes she has a soft spot for Janine, or very occasionally, June, but mostly she seems to just treat them as her troublesome pets. Like cattle--to the point of literally using a cattle prod on disobedient ones. A farmer can care about his cattle but it doesn’t make him not a farmer.

Hell, there’s that episode in S1 where Lydia is beating/electrocuting the shit out of June for talking back and Serena swoops in to stop the assault. (Her motives are shitty, and she snaps back to own horrid self not long after, but still...)

Yeah, considering they’re reworking S4 to be more in line with The Testaments is just... sad. Not that we didn’t see them attempting to woobiefy Lydia in S3 already, but I will guess S4 will see her suddenly and randomly taking Handmaids’ concerns seriously. HOW OOC IS THAT? Like, there’s been NO emotional journey for Lydia. It’s why her behaviour in 3x06 didn’t make sense to me. She goes from savagely assaulting Janine in 3x04 to “Oooh, June! This muzzle is so sad! Alexa, play Despacito!” I didn’t buy ANY of Lydia’s randomly swerving and flaky narrative in S3. I have no problem with her expressing her humanity and the audience seeing reasons to sympathize with her (like 2x08) but it was SO ALL OVER THE PLACE in S3 that I can only shudder and how they’re going to do S4. Especially using The Testaments as a roadmap... like suddenly Lydia is a resistance fighter?

Give me a fucking break.

And I think the problem I have with giving Lydia the so-called “redemption arc” on THT is that...

I don’t care.

Who really does?

Lydia is at best a secondary character who has had zero to little development. She’s literally had one (terrible) background episode that was shitty and full of sexist tropes, that only went to show what a snivelling, vengeful, crazy religious bigot she is--and that’s supposed to set her up for THT Redemption™? Suddenly she’s going to switch sides, just like that? Because White Saviour June has spoken to her? (Again, don’t get me started on the sheer idiocy of June (the woman (directly/indirectly) responsible for multiple women DYING in S3 alone) being touted as some precious saviour of women on Jesus-like levels.) Aunt Lydia is magically going to see the light of her wrongdoing?

PLEASE.

And meanwhile, they had a female character who is also a monster on about the same level--just in a different way, who is arguably a lead character and has had PLENTY of background and development, and even started--a few times--down a path that could slowly and ORGANICALLY lead her to remorse and change, and ultimately something vaguely like a redemption arc... but nope! LMAO. PSYCHE!!! Too easy, I guess? Too predictable? 

Yes, because I watch THT to be shocked by the unpredictable... /sarcasm. C’mon.

Why bother giving Serena ANY sort of development just to do her so dirty like S3 did, and switch it up so she stays repulsive but AUNT LYDIA MAGICALLY and OUT OF NOWHERE suddenly changes all her long-held and incredibly cemented beliefs? Meanwhile we’ve seen Serena wavering in hers THE ENTIRE SERIES. We’ve seen her try to break the system, to fight against it. Weakly, and she’s a sissy, but hey, it’s SOMETHING. More than we ever saw with Lydia.

No, giving Janine a nicer eyepatch after YOU RIPPED HER EYEBALL OUT FOR TALKING BACK is NOT the same as Serena standing up in front of a council of men and reading in order to give all females the chance to read. Giving Janine a piece of cake for not making a scene at a gala is NOT the same as Serena giving “her” baby away to make sure she has a better life outside the hellscape that she knows is Gilead. What Aunt Lydia has done for “her girls” pales completely with what very little Serena has done for both June, Nichole, and women (/herself lol).

It’s like saying Fred deserves redemption because he let the Handmaids have devilled eggs in 3x04. Or gave June a photo of Hannah. (Which incidentally, Atwood wrote Serena giving that to June. So, let’s just keep taking things away from Serena, Miller. Good job.)

I just......

I...

No.

Aunt Lydia deserves a redemption arc as much as Fred Waterford does. But even Fred--yes, even Fred--has more substantial character development to sustain such a story, and a shift in his arc. Well, I should say nobody “deserves” a redemption arc. But rather, it makes SENSE for a particular character to experience one.

Honestly, I just don’t understand the flagrant Serena hate when people like Fred and Lydia exist. I don’t see why it makes more sense and is less offensive for either of those monsters to get this mythical redemption arc over Serena, the second most developed character in the entire series.

“We need a foil for June! We need her to have a villain to fight against!” 

Yes, I agree, dipshit, it’s called Gilead. It’s called female oppression. It’s called the inherent rampant violent misogyny there, and even in “normal” society. It’s the stealing of children. It’s every man in any position of power. It’s religious and ideological extremism. It’s the commodification of women’s bodies as machines for baby-making and male sexual gratification. It’s the Sons of Jacob. It’s international governmental complacency. It’s war.

THERE ARE SO MANY EVIL, VILLAINOUS THINGS IN THT. Serena does personify some of these things, sure. So do ALL the other characters everyone is less upset about getting redemption arcs. But Serena doesn’t need to be the be-all of all these things. She doesn’t have to be the visceral manifestation of all those things forever.

Okay, I just have to stop here cos I can go on forever. 

To me, it’s only makes narrative sense for Serena--and ONLY Serena--to get this highly-prized yet still completely imaginary THT Redemption Arc™. And that’s my controversial opinion lol.

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.13 (Come Fly With Me)

Lizzie and Miranda are decked out in sixties-inspired fashion

- The episode opens to a 1960′s Rat Pack song playing in the background, courtesy of Gordo. He is starting to get into the whole old-school Las Vegas ‘lounge-style’ culture and this doesn’t seem to really bother his friends because Gordo has always been the kind of person to stay away from current trends. 

- For example, as Lizzie mentioned, when everybody in school was into rollerblading, he opted to unicycle instead. It sounds to me like he is doing all of this for the sake of being different. I think we should just be who we want to be and do the things we like regardless of it being on trend or not. 

- Gordo asks Lizzie if she could pick up a Rat Pack music CD for him after school because he has an appointment with his podiatrist. She reluctantly agrees and before leaving, she advises him to take it easy on the whole Rat Pack thing. 

Getting into Rat Pack

Vince, a one-time character I presume

- After collecting the CD on Gordo’s behalf, a kid named Vince on the school bus snatches it from Lizzie’s hand and makes fun of her and Miranda for absolutely no reason. If you’re going to make fun of someone, you might as well do it right but Vince is just atrocious at it lol. 

- Out of nowhere, Ethan Craft comes to the rescue and intimidates Vince to give the CD back to Lizzie. Because of that, Lizzie crushes on Ethan once again. I thought two episodes ago in Episode 1.11, Ethan was going to leave Miranda during their marriage project presentation because he was being manipulated by Kate. And now she still likes him? I guess they can’t fault Ethan for being an airhead.

Animated Lizzie looks really cute in this sort of Mad Men inspired outfit

- Ethan then starts listening to the Rat Pack CD on his music player (or boom box?) and he actually really enjoys it. Lizzie and Miranda, obviously smitten by Ethan’s liking to Gordo’s CD pretends to act like they actually listen to this style of music and they agree to meet up later to hook Ethan up with more Rat Pack music. 

- At school, Lizzie and Miranda start talking to Gordo in a similar way to how he was talking to them at the beginning of this episode. He feels flattered by them wanting to know more about his interests in Rat Pack and is willing to teach them more about the culture. We also get a funny bit where Miranda points out to Gordo that he blinks his eyes a lot. 

The more you try to not think about blinking, the more you actually blink your eyes. Facts.

Meet Matt’s Best Friend, Lanny

*Please note my review of Matt’s plot-line this episode is compiled into this section.

I’m a little scared of Lanny and so are Sam and Jo

- We cut to the backyard of the Mcguire home where Matt and his silent friend, Lanny are playing netball. They are trying to set the record for the longest netball rally but they are struggling to even be close to beating the current record. So is this all happening when Lizzie’s in school? Shouldn’t Matt and Lanny be in school as well? I shouldn’t think too much about this lol. 

- Lanny telepathically lets Matt know they should try to attempt another world record and Matt starts consulting the World Records book to see what they can do. We then get a montage of them attempting to set a number of different world records and of course, they fail miserably. I don’t even want to get into the specifics of what they were doing in this montage but at least ‘Survivor’ by Destiny’s Child was playing in the background. 

- In the second half of the episode, Matt is about to give up on trying to set his own world record after 38 attempts. Jo, brilliant as always, comes up with an idea to trick Matt and Lanny into believing they set their own record for ‘Most Consecutive Failed Attempts’. Matt is very excited about this and they go out to celebrate by getting some ice cream.

Lanny likes Pumpkin flavored ice cream by the way

Stop Trying to Make Rat Pack Happen!

How can you not fall for that smile?

- At the school cafeteria, Gordo notices that some people are starting to dress similarly to him and he hopes that Lizzie and Miranda doesn’t turn his interests in 1960′s Rat Pack into another fad at school. Ethan then pops up next to them and he compliments Gordo’s shirt. Lizzie uses this opportunity to invite him to shop with them at this store called ‘Anteater’ (weird name for a store but okay) so that he can get the same type of clothes Gordo’s wearing. Gordo isn’t thrilled about all of this. 

- Presumably a day later, it seems like the Rat Pack trend had caught the eye of the entire school because everybody is dressed like they are in the sixties. Even Kate Sanders is embracing this trend and she goes up to Lizzie and Miranda and compliments them both for making Gordo’s interest in ‘lounge-style’ culture a thing at school. 

How tall is Kate? She is so much taller than Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda. 

- She’s being awfully nice to them and that’s because she needs their help to organize this month’s dance and make it Rat Pack themed. Lizzie and Miranda are very excited about the prospect of being able to help plan their school dance and they both agree to help Kate out. 

- As Kate leaves, Lizzie asks Gordo if they could use his Las Vegas posters as decorations but he doesn’t want to help them because he just doesn’t like the fact that his Rat Pack interests are becoming popular in school. I mean, I do get where Gordo is coming from; I think nobody would actually really like Rat Pack music unless it’s considered trendy. But he needs to not take everything so seriously. Trends do come and go. 

Gordo is having a mini Crisis

Lizzie’s expressions are gold here when Gordo is talking to her about his World War II plane model given to him by his aunt.

- At Gordo’s house (I think this is the first time Lizzie is shown to be in his house), Lizzie mentions to Gordo how everyone at school is excited about the upcoming Rat Pack themed dance. Gordo reveals to her his interest in Rat Pack is gone and he is now into WW2 style airplanes.

- He also lets her know that he doesn’t like it that everybody is now into Rat Pack and that Kate Sanders has turned this whole thing into a “mindless fad” because she doesn’t know the difference between a ‘ding dong’ and a ‘Ring-A-Ding-Ding’. Lizzie feels bad about ruining his hobby. Don’t feel bad Lizzie; Gordo just needs to wait it out.

Planning the ‘Lounging Around’ School Dance

- Kate is holding a meeting with her fellow school dance committee members to plan out Friday’s dance. She entrusts Lizzie to get a list of songs to be played by the DJ and she entrusts Miranda to prepare a list of criteria for the judges to look out for when assessing outfits for the costume contest. And she wants all of this by the next day. 

- Lizzie and Miranda panic and are desperate to ask Gordo for help. Can’t they consult the school computers and library or something? Didn’t they also exist back in 2001 as well?

I’m sure the wardrobe department had a fun time dressing the girls up back then

- They find Gordo playing with his WW2 plane outside and ask him for help but he just isn’t willing to help them this time around because as we all know, he doesn’t like how Lizzie and Miranda played a part in making his Rat Pack hobby a major fad. 

- I touched on this earlier; Gordo has a point in saying that everyone in school now likes Rat Pack only because it is the biggest thing currently. But Lizzie and Miranda also made a good point in saying people are allowed to like whatever they want, regardless of how they came to know about Rat Pack and Frank Sinatra and the sort. 

Time for the School Dance

“Let’s like dance, Ethan”. Kate is just too funny

- We are then taken to their school dance and I have to say, Kate and company did a really good job organising the event. The venue is well decorated and everybody looks amazing in their sixties-inspired outfits. However, Lizzie and Miranda doesn’t seem to be enjoying themselves because Gordo isn’t there with them. 

Best friends gotta stick together

- Luckily for them, Gordo pops up and makes a grand entry into the auditorium, complete with an amazing suit and a suave attitude to match. Gordo admits to them that he shouldn’t force himself to do things just to be different and Lizzie tells him they’re lucky to have someone like Gordo who doesn’t care about what people think about his hobbies. 

- In the end, everything is resolved and the episode ends with a cute trio dance:

That’s all folks

Overall Thoughts

- What I got most out of watching this episode is the idea of seasonal trends and how easy it is for people to catch onto them just because everyone else is. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you actually like those trends. And being different for the sake of being different is something we shouldn’t really hold on to either. 

- Gordo definitely shone in this episode. I really felt his frustration towards everyone who suddenly jumped on his hobby bandwagon and made it a ‘mindless fad’ as he puts it. Good job on the actor’s (Adam Lamberg) part. Miranda and Lizzie also have very identical plot-lines this episode, although Lizzie did more in this episode than Miranda. I think it’s hard for the character of Miranda to really shine in an episode unless she’s one of the main focuses, you know? But that’s just me.

- After having an impressive plot-line last episode, Matt’s plot-line with his parents this time around has gone back to being weightless and goofy. At least we get to see Lanny in person for the first time. 

[illknight]

i used to hate white noise

it was something i read for a book report at some point early in high school, off a huge list of potential books to read. im sure most of my classmates picked names they heard before, or based their choice off of some amount of research or asking around. i just picked white noise off of the name

sometimes i think about things that must have shaped who i am. was it homestuck? was it my extracirriculars? my teachers? all these things i liked

but i think that most of what shaped me was things i didnt like

at some point my assignment with white noise seemed to drag on, and it became something that i needed to joke about to continue to put up with it. i didnt have any friends who were also reading it, though, and i didnt even wonder whether it had a fandom, let alone look for one

some aspects of it have stuck with me in a way thats turned out to be unshakeable. ive read a lot of books for school, but i think of few of them as much as i think of white noise.

i suppose most books i have read are somewhat rarefied in concept. the ones i think of most are usually ones that had some kind of political commentary, or some kind of aspect that reminded me of myself. the things that seem ever-present and inescapable.

but as i get older and as the specificity of ad targetting and marketing becomes more invasive and granular, the themes of white noise become more and more relevant. everything becomes a generic object in a shopping cart, or a looming threat that everyone is responding to with simultaneous hysteria and apathy, or a television in the background of a conversation-- interrupting thoughts with irrelevant but flow-altering noise. a constant butterfly effect of unacknowledged but unavoidable signal, deviating us further from what we were thinking to intend before we lost our train of though

i guess as i get older i also realize that people, as a rule, are frustrating and bizarre and objectionable and idiosyncratic. the constructs of society reinforce and amplify that.

white noise just feels a lot less stupid every day and all my ungotten jokes about it are perpetually coming back to haunt me

also while i tend to claim internally that my pointlessly pseudoanalytical tirades are a side effect of strilondian stridings, just attempting to Become some characters i enjoyed in a comic once

but i think that, being frank with myself:

my tendency to think in unnecessarily complicated symbolism and rely on a variety of systems of thought and philosophies to justify vast conclusion-jumping all for the sake of intrigue or mild “things that make u go hmm” moments probably derives from my youthful exposure to sermons written by pastors desperate to extrapolate their cultural observations and personal pet peeves into full sermons that will permanently integrate into the views and thought processes of their congregation, all on a weekly basis

however, my tendency to direct that symbolic extrapolation at social and economic constructs and then spout off about that shit for several consecutive minutes with no prompting and no expectation for a response ?

thats all white noise babey

theres something hilariously immature about me fixating on the notable fictional, capitalism-obsessed pedants which comprise the new york professors of the college-on-the-hill, deciding somehow that they were cool despite hating their fictional context, and then carrying their patterns of behavior into adulthood despite the fact that this course of action has never served me well.

at this point it would probably be too difficult to shed this tendency, but while rereading white noise it seems sort of clear that even though they are detachedly analyzing the colorful trappings of a superficial, capitalist world, they are just the same as every other person who is subject to the background radiation of the marketing and culture they so curiously dissect

rereading the early words of siskind about the barn was both like a mirror and a grim reminder. he rants and raves about how nobody sees the barn, only the signs about the barn and the photos take of the barn. it is easy to think at first that his concern is that the barn is lost, but then jack amends his narration, saying that siskind “seems immensely pleased by this”

is there a joy that is derived from criticism of the culture that sucks away the actual critical nature of the analysis? does our investment in describing, cataloguing, and naysaying this society’s workings cause us to become subconsciously invested in its persistence?

there is something clearly off-putting about jack’s hitler studies. it seems clear that, while it is assumed that jack is aware that hitler was an atrocious figure, the meticulous cataloguing of hitler’s life and the lives of those around hitler, as well as the enthusiasm for that life necessitated for jack to name his kid fucking Heinrich, seem like they must derive from some kind of inappropriate affection for these figures. it like critical obsession is only the acceptable cousin of admiring obsession. like the person who studies a subject is not immune to the psychological contagion which eminates from that subject

the american cultural studies are housed in the same building as hitler studies and with this sort of retrospective glance at the subject, it seems like the new york professors have an almost inappropriate attachment to their field of expertise. but how else do you become an expert, but through fascination and some level of sincere admiration? do the new york professors see beauty in marketing rather than treachery?

for some reason, (maybe it was my raised-jaded, “it was recently the 00s” brain) i read their discussions as inherently critical when i was younger. this was likely just because they were pointing out the oddities and details of something i had already accepted as ubiquitous. however, pointing at something that is ignored isn’t the same thing as taking a stance on that thing. being aware that there is a trick is no better if you’re still being tricked

all this is sort of to say that rereading this book makes me wonder about how my behavior may be patterned, if not after, at least the same as these characters. my awareness of certain issues is only based on my prior enthusiastic involvement in those issues. some of my awareness in certain issues is based on my current involvement in those issues. does my close examination of these latter issues draw me nearer towards them, like a moth to flame? do i complain about the punishment only to repeat the punished behavior to receive the associated punishment as a sort of backwards reward?

do i go to starbucks just so that i can more effectively gripe about their poor working conditions and their shitty playlists and the alarming late capitalism of their company structure? or do i just go because my friends go there? should i stop spending money there? or would that be a pointless gesture?

i complain about the school system, about workaholicism, about corporatism, about cultish religion, about pedantry, and so on, but i don’t take any meaningful action to distance my own functioning from these things. is it for research’s sake? no. i dont even try to justify it like that. and i don’t think that my willingness to discuss the details of these things distances me from them. i know that i am in the barn photo’s aura. i know that i can’t unsee the signs. but i’m still standing here, eagerly talking down about the people snapping their cameras at the barn

i kind of love white noise

[fenvincible]

In too Deep Chapter 4

I wrote this for y’all instead of my research paper which is due in the AM. So.. I love you all and I pray you like it. 

This chapter is still SFW. This is dreadfully slowburn, I am so sorry sweeties. But I have started the NSFW and I know when it’s happening (not soon). The payoff will be worth it.  in the meantime have some Nick/Jude interaction. 

 Nick felt the entire situation was too surreal for words. Judy had left him upstairs, alone with the shrew who seemed to have few words but was more than willing to size Nick up. The fox suddenly felt unsure of his outfit, wondering if instead of “guy in need of a drink” it screamed “cop”. His inner monologue was cut short by a petite otter entering the room. The otter made a nervous beeline for the Boss, Mr. Big, and frantically whispered in his ear. Nick’s hearing, like every predatory animal, is slightly above average but the deep voices of the conversion polar bears and the band warming up downstairs provided just enough back ground noise that he couldn’t understand the otter’s words. He did understand the deepening scowl on Big’s face.

               “… drug.” Was the last word Nick was able to make out before the shrew began speaking quickly and fiercely back to the otter. Within moments the otter was scampering out of the room, Nick unsure of what fire Big lit under his ass.

                 “Nicky, can I call you Nicky? Nicky, you’re an honest mammal, right? I can count on you; you look like an honest mammal.�� Big said, twirling a microscopic gold ring around a just as small finger.

                 Nick was about to answer when Judy stepped onto the stage, a collective hush covered the crowd. The foxes mind went blank as he took it all in. From the room, upstairs he has a perfect view of the entire bar, he could see Weasleton dishing out drinks, patrons walking around and Judy. The stage was centered perfectly so the upstairs room got the best view of performances.

                 And what a view they were getting now. Judy had changed between now and when she left the fox upstairs. She now wore tight black jeans, that clung to her in all the right areas and emphasized her assets. In a decision that made Nick’s fur rise she was showing her midriff and wearing only a green bustier that brought out the purple in her eyes. Barepawed the bunny looked irresistible, Nick wanted to devour her.

                 With a knowing look around and a sly smile Judy grabbed the microphone, walked to the edge of the stage and sat down.

                 “Y’all know I love ya, right?” Judy began her voice flirtatious and full of promise. She waited a moment for the crowd to nod. A few mammals cheered, or shouted their praise for the bunny before she continued.

                 “Good, I just wanted to make sure. I have something special for you tonight. It’s a song that I have never performed here before. It’s a song that means a lot to me. Would that be alright with y’all?” More cheers, and praise were heard as Nick watched several glasses go up in salute. Nick found himself thinking about charismatic Judy is, how she knows to work a crowd.

                 When I was just a small kit

               Daddy whispered in my ear

               He said, baby you’re a lady and don’t ever act a fool

               Baby you’re a lady don’t let those men make you a fool

                 Nick watched as mammal after mammal shifted forward in their seat, leaning into the sound of Judy’s voice, eyes captivated by the slow dance she made across the stage as she sang. The lyrics danced in and out of Nick’s ears.

                 But daddy didn’t count on his little girl falling in love

               Daddy didn’t count on a young man sweeping through town

               he tore through the streets breaking everything in sight

               I couldn’t help myself try as I might

                 Judy’s body moved effortlessly. She dipped and twirled, dancing with an invisible partner. Unlike the last performance Nick had seen this one felt intimate, a lot less like a teasing lap dance and a lot more like a waltz. Judy’s voice wavered a moment before beginning the next lines:

               Swept up in a courtship that burned like fire

               I thought I could tame the flame

               Instead I was burned

               Instead I was consumed

                 Judy stopped dancing, she settled in the middle of the stage. A soft, almost tangible silence covered the audience. The silence continued for one beat, two beats. Suddenly, in a swift action that startled the mammals in the bar Judy fell to her knees.

                 That young man left ashes in his wake

               he trailed destruction as he moved

               I didn’t follow daddy’s rules

               I let him make me a fool.

                 For a moment, the entire bar was plunged into a deep darkness. The lights returned before Nick could question it. The stage was empty and nobody moved for a moment as Judy’s strange, emotional performance sank in.

                 “That girl,” Big started “that girl can really perform. I lucked into her you know? Beautiful girl like that unable to find a job. I couldn’t believe it.”

                 “She is… something else.” Nick thought, pensively. Judy’s performance had left him covered in goosebumps and a cold sweat.

                 “What are you really doing here Nicky? And don’t try to feed me some lie.” The shrew gave Nick a long side glance as he accepted a drink from a passing polar bear.

                 “I’m- looking for something.” Nick replied after a moment knowing he couldn’t tell the whole truth but not wanting to lie. He’s not a great liar, but he is a good hustler when he needs to be. “I’m looking for something exciting and fun. I am looking for something primal.”

                 If Nick was about to learn something important, make a break in his case, the information was stolen as the otter from before entered the room again. A look of concern, maybe fear, lacing the features of his face. As he approached Big the nervous mammal removed his glasses, clumsily cleaned them with his shirt and placed them back on his face. Nick watched as the otter whispered to Big in that hurried, anxious fashion he has used earlier. As the otter spoke a range of emotions crossed the shrews face, with a snap of his fingers Big summoned two large bears.

                 “I’m sorry Nicky.” Big stated “business is calling me away. I do hope to see you again though. You seem- interesting.” The way Big spoke made Nick slightly nervous as he gave a small wave to the shrew as he departed.

                 Lucky for Nick, Judy was entering as Big left. The bunny had changed again, she was now wearing light blue jeans, and a black top with a little pink jacket thrown over it. Nick found himself wondering if the bunny owned any cloths that didn’t make his pants feel one size too small.

                 “You hungry sly?” Judy asks, her voice still lyrical though not the same seductive, lusty sound it had been earlier.

                 “I-“ the refusal stopped short on Nicks’ snout. Yeah, he needed to debrief Clawhauser and he should start typing his weekly report for Bogo so it looked like he at least valued his job. There were honest reasons he needed to leave but he just didn’t want to. He wanted to stay and talk to this purple eyed bunny that set his world slightly askew in ways he didn’t yet understand, so he did. “Yeah, I’m hungry.”

                 “Follow me, I know a spot.” Judy said with a smile.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                 The place Judy was referring too was a small mom and pop diner about two blocks down from the club. Nick had walked by it before on his way to the bar. It was unassuming in that normal diner way. A long countertop with aging barstools, an atrocious shade of red, ran about the length of the building. Booths and tables, all the same red shade, were almost haphazardly thrown around the rest of the space. A jukebox sat at the back of the shop by the restrooms, a popular song playing in the background.

                 “This is the best place to get a veggieburger. They also serve ‘meat’ options if you want anything.” Judy said, sliding into a well-worn booth. Nick slid into the seat across from her.

                 Nick was trying to find the best way to question the bunny and see what she might know without giving her a reason to suspect he had been less than honest with her. He was still thinking it over when the waitress came over to them. A young racoon, Cynthia, took their orders in-between loudly popping large bubbles with the gum she was chewing.

                 “So-“

 “Please don’t ask me anything about work.” Judy interrupted, holding up a paw. “I just want to pretend I don’t sing at a bar and that maybe we’re friends?”

                 Nick was stunned for a moment before offering a nod. The waitress, Cynthia, chose this moment to bring them their drinks. A carrot cake milkshake for Judy and a blueberry milkshake for Nick.

                 “Okay, so nothing work related. What would you like to talk about then?” Nick asks, watching Judy’s eyes close in something close to ecstasy as she takes the first sip of her drink.

                 “I’m- not actually sure. Things are easier at the club when I’m this whole different bunny. Amethyst knows what to say and when to say it. I’m just Judy.”

                 “I think just Judy is okay. What does Judy like?” Nick offers Judy a small smile, trying to coax her out of her shell more. He wants, needs, to know more about the bunny that so confidently asked him to dinner before becoming something entirely different.

                 “Books, I like to read. I enjoy studying, ya know?” Judy distractedly plays with her straw as she looks at a spot on the wall behind Nick’s head. “What about you slick?”

                 “Books? Yes, I do enjoy a good book occasionally. I like the books cowritten by that Savage guy. The bunny that does all the secret agent stuff. I know they’re still fictional but it’s so fun to think about.” Nick wasn’t lying either. Some nights when training got hard and he was beaten down by the stereotypes surrounding foxes he would lose himself in a Savage novel and remember why he had wanted to be a cop. “Studying is much worse for me, I think. I hate being forced to read and understand something. I want to read because I enjoy it.”

                 “You read Savage?” Judy said with a laugh. “Those books are so full of baloney! He always beats the bad guy and beds the poor bunny who won’t hear from him the next day. The guy is an absolute jerk.”

                 “But you read the books, don’t you?” Nick asked with a smirk.

                 There was a small break in the conversation as Cynthia brought their food to the table. A veggieburger with fries for Judy and crepes with blueberries for Nick. They begin eating in silence for a moment before Nick adds:

                 “I like volunteering. I, uh- I host a Junior Ranger Scouts troop on the weekend. It’s one that is made only of predators. It was hard to get approved at first but, I think it’s good for the kids you know? We get together twice a month with other troops and it’s been good for the pred/prey relations.” Nick pushed a blueberry around his plate as he spoke. The troop had been hard to get approved, but the year and a half of struggling for the right to make his troop was worth it when they all got together. It made for a more positive experience than Nick’s had been. He repressed a shudder as he recalled the cold bite of a leather muzzle around his snout.

                 “Really?” Judy looked to Nick. “That is the most amazing thing I have heard all day, maybe all year.”

 Another moment passed between the two mammals before Judy spoke up, her voice a whisper.

                 “I don’t even know your name. I say we should talk like friends and leave work behind and I’ve been referring to you as sly for the last hour.”

                 “Piberius Wilde. I usually just go by Wilde though. It’s easier than Piberius, it also sounds nicer.” Though guilt laced through Nick’s body he extended a paw across the table to Judy who hesitated only a moment before placing her own in it.

                 “Judy. Well, Judith. Judith Laverne Hopps.” She smiles, it’s a bright true smile and Nick finds that he sincerely likes it.

                 “Well, Judy, it’s nice to finally make your acquaintance.” Nick smiles at her as he gets back to work on his crepes.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------

                 Dinner ended quickly, almost too quickly for Nick. The conversation had started to flow more freely and openly. They even stayed for dessert and coffee. Still, the diner was closing and it was getting late. A desk full of work was beckoning to Nick and it was getting harder and harder to ignore his responsibilities.

                 Unable to call it a night just yet Nick offered to walk Judy home.

                 “It’s the least I can do.” The red fox states as they neared Judy’s apartment building.

                 “Still- I just.. thank you.” Judy said as she walked up the steps to her building. “this was nice of you. You would think that I make a lot of friends singing at a kind of popular night club but. I don’t. This, dinner and conversation, meant a lot to me. So, thank you.”

                 With a small smile and a half wave Judy turned and entered her building. Nick stood on the sidewalk a few extra moments, watching her go. The night air was crisp and warm feeling more like summer than spring. As the door latched and silence settled over the street Nick turned from the building with a smile on his face.

                 This case wasn’t nearly as bad as he had thought it would be.      

[datingadviceonreddit]

Hello,So /r/dating_advice has been the solace to many relationship questions I've had over the years and I wanted to show my appreciation, as well as some insight for the guys out there for dating/relationships. Just as a disclaimer, I am not a guy, but I am human and will be subject to bias. That means there might be things that don't apply to you or you feel that I'm lacking in perspective, that's cool, I'm open to hearing different opinions! Although the title says letter, I often write letters in bullet points or 1-2-3, so hope you enjoy this slightly unconventional format!1. Patriarchy and inequality are hard on guys tooAs a daughter to an incredibly hard-working father, I know (and have researched) the fact that men are more susceptible to working high-paying, but also extremely dangerous jobs. I'm talking industries like waste disposal, mining, construction, and more. Seeing my own father put his life at risk to give a good life to his family (especially right now during COVID19), I want you to know someone out there really appreciates the work you do. Also vulnerability and showing your emotions? We as a society need to be better at giving you space for that so that you aren't pushed to express things only in anger or silence. I also want to applaud you if you come from different cultural or family backgrounds that stigmatize mental health, yet something in you knows/wants to be vulnerable. I see your baby steps, you got this!2. Initiating and rejecting is hard (for both sides)Though I don't know the full extent to which guys feel the rejection or fear of initiating, as someone who's had her fair share of being rejected and having to reject others (that also sucks), you're right...it is hard. That being said, you are putting yourself out there (or realizing that you want to put yourself out there more/less/in a better way/etc) and that counts for something. They are only mistakes and failures if you don't learn from them. So please pat yourself on the back for gaining these life lessons along the way. That being said, I live by this motto and I think it might be fitting here as well: please don’t use shyness as a fixed personality trait that you can’t change. Don’t limit yourself to these boxes or make boxes to put others in as well. Men and women take these risks of rejection every day, you will be okay if someone rejects you if you make a move. The world does not revolve around you to make you comfortable, it only puts you in difficult situations to make you grow.3. You're a good beanSave for some really atrocious acts of cruelty and some really atrocious guys, I really do believe a good majority of guys (and just people in general) are good. Whether it's asking dating questions or professing dating blunders, I've seen a lot of amazing personality traits and willingness to improve. Somebody is really going to like that about you one day, I can't wait until you meet them and grow together! That being said, a good personality won't be the golden ticket for you to get the relationship or girl/guy of your dreams. It's the constant effort to improve yourself and improving the relationship that does. Just like how I can't expect someone to give me a job just because I got a degree, nobody should expect to have a great relationship by just having a good personality or made some good moves. What I do appreciate when I say that I see a lot of great personality traits and attitudes toward dating (yes, I'm talking to you!) I mean that I see so many of you with great foundations to start off with. For the sake of the world, please keep going, build on that foundation because we want to see the best you've got! You are worth it to try and keep going. It's going to be hard, you might get cynical, have your heart broken by equally hurt people, really want to give up, get beaten down by insecurities, etc. I want to tell you that so many more people than you think have been in your shoes, even the people you think have got it all. That person you might compare yourself to (because I guarantee we're comparing ourselves to someone) very likely just put in more time than you did to improve themselves. Whether that's working on their weaknesses, building up their strengths, accepting themselves, being more vulnerable, being stronger, etc.Keep going, I'm a random internet stranger here rooting for you, you got this.Warmest Regards,SeaManagerp.s. if y'all like my ramblings (or not, that's okay too), I hope to write an appreciation letter soon for the ladies out here too <3edit: grammatical errors + adding some words + formatting because your local SeaManager doesn't know how to reddit very well lol via /r/dating_advice

[hansikajethnani]

on Independence Days

written on: August 15, 2016 I've often felt conflicted when it comes to Independence days. Today is India’s, yesterday was Pakistan’s and on the 17th of August it will be Indonesia’s. To think that my ancestors came from Sindh (now a part of Pakistan but during the partition that happened when the British left was a part of the ‘British Indian Empire’) and that if they didn't choose to flee during the partition to Indonesia, I would be Pakistani instead of Indian/Indonesian really gets me thinking.

I fully support independence, of any country, colonialism and imperialism was/is absolute BS. But I suppose I've never been patriotic - because not only do I not know who to be patriotic for, but because what is there to be patriotic about? Growing up in Jakarta, where you pass through some of the poorest communities and then suddenly you’re inside a mall that houses the most elitist brands and companies in the world - and seeing the exact same thing in India every summer that I visited always really stuck out to me. The disparity between the ‘rich’ and the ‘poor’ is so so so evident in these two countries, as is in the rest of the world but I saw it the most growing up in India and Indonesia and it cannot be overlooked. I only ever saw the disparity growing, and I still do. It seemed like everyone succumbed to capitalism because they felt like they didn’t have a choice - and I can see why when the government never really provided an alternative or an economy that worked for everyone; but instead succumbed to it themselves.

I’m currently reading this book: Capitalism: A Ghost Story by Arundhati Roy that really highlights the social and economic inequalities in India, along with the rest of the world, which is pretty much the same in Indonesia.

Some things I’ve read from the book include:

‘India’s government has embarked on a massive biometrics program, perhaps one of the most ambitious and expensive information gathering projects in the world - the Unique Identification Number (UID). People don’t have clean drinking water, or toilets, or food, or money, but they will have election cards and UID numbers.’

‘Post-independence, right up to the 1980s, people’s movements, ranging from the Naxalites to Jayaprakash Narayan’s Sampoorna Kranti, were fighting for land reforms, for the redistribution of land from feudal landlords to landless peasants. Today any talk of redistribution of land or wealth would be considered not just undemocratic but lunatic. Even the most militant movements have been reduced to fight to hold on to what little land people still have. The millions of landless people, the majority of them Dalits & Adivasis, driven from their villages, living in slums and shanty colonies in small towns and megacities, do not figure even in the radical discourse.’

‘In the drive to beautify Delhi for the Commonwealth Games, laws were passed that made the poor vanish, like laundry stains. Street vendors disappeared, rickshaw pullers lost their licenses, small shops and businesses were shut down. Beggars were rounded up, tried by mobile magistrates in mobile courts, and dropped outside the city limits. The slums that remained were screened off, with vinyl billboards that said DELHIciously Yours.’

It often seemed like the government just completely brushed off this inequality and refuses to acknowledge it - and please correct me if I am wrong because I do not know much about Indian politics and me reading this book is me trying to educate myself on it but it seems to just give evidence to thoughts I’ve had when I’ve visited. If one refuses to even tackle the very epitome of the issue, it cannot be fixed. Making the rich ‘richer’ and hoping that that will somehow make the country richer and thus, everything okay is not okay. Things need to be changed from the bottom up, and I have never seen that acknowledgement in India. The fact that any talk of redistribution of land and wealth in India today would be ‘lunatic’ literally goes to show the how okay the government and the rich are with the way people live there. And the fact that they literally just made the poor vanish just to ‘doll’ up Delhi when essentially they are hiding the majority of the country, goes to show how they just refuse to acknowledge the inequalities and simply be honest about them.

I understand, that the British leaving is/was a time to celebrate, it was a long struggle for freedom that was finally won - but I feel conflicted about being patriotic because years on, as someone of Indian origin, I don’t see or feel very much to be proud of when there are still communities and people struggling for freedom; when the government has not been able to pick up those pieces that the British left India in; and it seems like they don’t even want to try.

The other day I also came across this:

“During the New York agreement, the Netherlands, US and Indonesia decided the future of West Papua. Not a single West Papuan person was allowed to take part in the negotiations, or to have any say on their future rulers or what happened to their lands. This paved the way for a further and more devastating illegal act: The Act of Free Choice in 1969, which again betrayed the West Papuan people as the vote was rigged! 1022 of the 800,000 West Papuans, who were eligible to vote, were handpicked and forced at gunpoint to have Indonesia rule over them. This administrative process, which was overseen by the United Nations, resulted in the illegal annexation of West Papua by Indonesia.

These atrocious and unfair acts have led to nearly 60 years of terror in West Papua. 500,000 West Papuans have been slaughtered by the Indonesian military and police. West Papuans are victims of daily human rights abuses such as false arrest and imprisonment, torture, rape, beatings, which are often fatal, and massacres. Their lands which are rich in minerals and resources: gold, copper and oil are being looted by multinational corporations and governments who leave a trail of environmental destruction to West Papua's forests, rivers, land and wildlife.” - https://www.facebook.com/events/274249322958101/

And I suddenly felt ashamed to carry an Indonesian passport. Yes, the time that the Dutch left Indonesia is a time to celebrate, but still - what they have done, and are still doing to West Papua is not okay. And it seems like celebrating the freedom is wrong if it came to Indonesia at cost for West Papua. Also, everything I think about India is so so applicable to Indonesia. The inequality in society there is no different. I understand and do think that colonialism and imperialism is a lot of the reason for the very inequalities and injustices in India and Indonesia alongside SO many other countries in the world - but in my opinion, I don’t think the governments of India or Indonesia are doing very much to tackle it today - but instead just succumbing to capitalism / privatization of everything and making it worse.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m not saying celebrating independence is not okay and unnecessary or that colonialism and imperialism is okay - far from it, colonialism and imperialism was definitely not okay and Independence is a thing to be celebrated and of course a great thing for the country, but the way the two countries has treated its citizens, and neighboring countries thereafter is not something in my opinion, that I’m proud of.

I always thought my confusion about Independence days came from my identity; the fact that I didn’t know which culture I really resonated with, but having really thought about the economic systems of the countries and their history, I realized its beyond just what culture I identify with - it’s because I think there is still a struggle; there is still 'Independence' to fight for. The countries may have gotten Independence, but millions of people in India and Indonesia are still living in poverty, still tied down by their class, their gender, their socio-economic background and until they aren’t free, I don’t think full freedom for the country - for every citizen in India and Indonesia has been achieved, because "nobody's free until everybody's free" (Fannie Lou Hamer)

[sonderrow-moved]

LIKE for a preestablished relationship/plotting line with Archer… BUT have at least one category in mind before I hop in your IMs! LINK TO JAEL’S: TBA

Update from this post! I entirely get the urge of wanting to roleplay, expand our muses together, and this is my personal starting pack for Archer! I take good time to redo this post according to thecurrent timeline which changed drastically since the beginning of this blog. If you’re hooked to one category but don’t think your muse can fit still HMU about it and I’ll see how we can work that out! So here are roughly the categories for inspiration your muse could fit in!

BUSINESS PEERS. Archer’s professional and very efficient work ethic made him notorious in unspoken matters as someone who will get things done with no needs of public recognition… which would lead to inner, private and ultimately more treasured recognition. He used to have clients, partners and met a lot of others at parties he went frequently to, mostly charity parties often disguised as business ones. Those partners may have known his father, maybe his grandfather, or maybe they’re fresh right out the bat, maybe the Kessler company sought them, maybe your muse’s company sought them and you stumbled upon him. Mind you that Archer has made the scandalous decision to sell the majority of his actions towards the company and doesn’t get more involved than necessary with its activities. This profile fits to every muse high enough in the business ranks to meet Archer; at least chief of a team in a department. It’s all about title. Do be reminded that the Kessler company is known to have an illegal and scandalous history as of NOW and that a lawful good muse would probably not want to be associated with it, or any muse wanting to go legal.

LEGAL WORKERS. With the horribly enormous pile of cases Archer’s been involved with, he needs a lawyer cabinet to back him and his business. Multiple ones. Maybe it is a genuinely crooked one, or a blindly optimistic one who believes his claims of innocence and being against the world, maybe the whole cabinet is broken and as a newly employed lawyer you are still too innocent until you notice. Law enforcers and government representatives knows how much Archer is guilty (or not), making him infamous in their ranks as one of those irritating cases where the system doesn’t seem to work. For muses working in the justice system, on any side, from judge to prison guard.

“FRIENDS”. Archer lost all of his friends when he was accused and imprisoned. He would have done the same thing; every one who was still linked by friendship to him risked everything. You’re one of those, because you’re not an idiot… or maybe you are and you did lose everything to keep your integrity. Or maybe you really were too stupid and loyal and believed Archer did nothing. This applies to particular muses who can fit in a scenario like this. Although for the sake of social standing Archer could “befriend” quite some people, he had a particular preference towards artists and introverted yet talented minds who had lots of potential, wanting to make them grow.

CRIMINALS. Con artists, mafiosos, yakuzas, drug dealers, maybe assassins, thieves, hackers, corrupted law enforcement agents, rich guys with illegal fetishes… Archer has dealt at least with all of them at least once. As a “cleaner” before he finally sat down on the CEO chair, Archer was the one who by circumstances became known for his professionalism, cool head and ability to erase any evidence from even the most alarming and need-to-be-quickly-done situation. Even a killer who does so as a hobby or for personal gain would eventually be caught as he goes on, unless he can take a contract or too, and have him give a helping hand in exchange for secrecy.  This applies to muses with at least a medium-ranked profile in the underground (so no simple alley drug dealer unless plotted).

ENTERTAINERS & SEX WORKERS. Given how Archer sees sex as being an extremely powerful tool, he often got around the latter, choosing carefully which escort he’ll personally put at his services. Archer kept the best ones at hand, to please contacts and clients. He respects them for their work, but he wanted professionalism from you and not cry if you got almost cut in half after a night. Although he stepped down from his CEO position, Archer was pushed into his sire’s hotel line, which secretly dealt with human trafficking and prostitution. With his experience, he slowly is coming back and is moving all his contacts over there, wanting to change his approach. Despite the need of running a very real business, he cannot ignore the amount of work his sire’s illegal business brings. This profile fills every muse working in the sex business outside camshows and movies. They don’t have to be the ones close to Archer.

VICTIM(S). Archer is a very high-rated criminal. Although he has only been found guilty of extortion, corruption, blackmailing, piracy and other business-linked crimes, he was accused but not found guilty of sequestration, serial murder, serial rape, torture, committing indignity to a body, publishing obscene material, harassment, insert lots of other legal terms surrounding this. Accusations which have been highly mediatized given how high profile he was at the time, him being used as a scapegoat and the scandal only worsened when it was said it was both on minors and adults. I won’t get too much on what the truth is, but if you’d like your muse to be victim of Archer’s real crime(s), do hit me up I’ll be very selective on this given it’s important to his background story. This profile would fit highly disturbed muse, hobos, prostitutes, people living in very poor districts, pretty much people who have the perfect victim profile. OR it can also be other businessmen, common people, those who would have their life ruined indirectly or directly any organization Archer was or is involved with, the most common being as putting you in debt with the mafia knocking at your door to kill you, break your legs or torture someone you love until you give them what they want.

NEAR THE VICTIM(S). There are suspicions your friend/lover/brother/whatever was done wrong because of Archer. Maybe you’re the one who pressed charges. Maybe it’s not you, but in some way you were involved indirectly in the scandal and it did something to you and you have your own opinion on it. Maybe you seek where Archer is to kill him, maybe just talk to him and understand… something.This profile fits a muse who has lost someone close to them in suspicious circumstances. 

PARTNER IN CRIME. You were there and you liked every bit of it probably (or if not you’re surely dead). VERY SELECTIVE. This profile fits muse with probable sociopathic and/or psychopathic tendencies who knows their way across the most fucked-up places of the underworld.

OBSESSION. High profile criminals with atrocious records are known to, sadly, have, yes,fans. Your muse believes that Archer did most of what he was accused for, choose to your discretion. Maybe they wanted to visit him, maybe they sent him gifts and mails, maybe they were already almost obsessed with him BEFORE he was accused given his bit of a disturbed but extremely charismatic and successful behavior and just FELL more as he was sequestrated. This profile fits muse going to the simple nerd with morbid curiosity to the very intense stalker.

MATCHMAKING. Since his teens, Archer has met multiple people for a potential marriage; the woman in question and the relatives that accompany her. And… when bored, his sister has the nasty habit of wanting to play matchmaker with him; Archer may not be the best person, but he’d hate to not make up to someone his hell of a relative tricked. Self explanatory. Archer’s sister, Eve (Everleigh), is owner of two modern galleries, so single people susceptible to befriend her could fall into that trap.

SCHOOL FACES. Archer cut next to every tie which couldn’t help in business after he graduated from university. It was brutal and without much warning although given how he was drawn to his duty, nobody was surprised. Archer got schooled at home as a child after becoming a depressed before going to a rich high-end private school. Afterwards, he became a star tennis player and the moral support of the team. He was also the president of a literature club where he was able to bond a bit with nerds and was known to tutors younger kids he believed had potential to help his reputation or parents who had power to help his family. Archer was mostly loved by everyone, but still bullied the weak or didn’t hesitate to stomp on other to raise himself higher. Victims of his young impulses, partner or rival in the tennis court, maybe the librarian, maybe a classmate, maybe someone from another school who always saw him and wanted to know him. This profile fits muses that Archer would not talk to unless he knew them from the past. Mostly younger muses that leads a life that has nothing to do with his work. RP can be during his younger years or simply skipped to the main verse.

MEALS. As a vampire, Archer consolidated his hypnotic powers and feeding, starting to leave some preys alive, but dazed and forgetful at times. On top of the numbness and blinding aphrodisiac the poison in his biting provides, he is able to leave the impression like their meeting was a dream; victims will remember vaguely his face, voice or other depending on characters, but not remember the feeding. However, willing and loyal ones may even befriend Archer, who finds consenting people much easier to deal with than laying bodies and sudden disappearances. This profile fits grey morale muses, ones who loves the supernatural, masochists, etc. who’d trade their blood and silence in exchange of being around a vampire. Archer only feeds on females if they ask directly for it or if there is nothing else, highly preferring to feed on males, which is linked to his sexual preferences.

RED LIGHT DISTRICT. Archer has become a prominent figure of the red light district; as the one guy who owned everything (which is not true, but blown out of proportions). Due to the forceful, ruthless and undeniably lustful reputation his sire has, being the envoy puts him in a powerful position where the line between him and the one who turned him might blur to others, as if they were the same person. Anything new in the district goes through him and pros and cons are weighted for healthy competition. Outside the hotels and their affiliated businesses, Archer personally owns two bars; one is lounge gay bar and the other one of the same style, only for the supernaturals of every shape and form, with products to cater their needs. Both are actually places made to cater to his difficult and high maintenance taste; if you cannot find it, do it yourself. Those bars include their own staff, which he selects himself to make sure nobody he would find inappropriate works under his image. As for the hotel line itself, it includes its own staff, administration, underground administration and staff, restaurant staff and entertainment staff for diverse shows and parties thrown. This profile fits any muse which would frequent the red light district, from newcomers to others looking for a job, frequent visitors and owners of businesses. From the woman who runs an escort club with a heart of steel to the bartender who just wants to pay his education fees to the security guard who has nightmare about the noises he hears behind closed doors.

HITMEN. You were paid to fuck with him, but thing is it’s pretty complicated. This profile is picky since obviously the attempt is going to fail and you cannot always RP back and forth attempts. This would be nearly a comical bond with a need to plot a resolution depending on your muse!

SUBMISSIVES. Archer’s history as a dom was… infamous. Long story short, he was known to be good, but dangerous. With a more stable mind he wouldn’t mind going back to one of his favorite hobbies. The deal is simple; he owns the person obviously, no penetration sex, no deep kissing, no romance (which doesn’t mean no affection or love) and not to start screaming about it on the streets. Although he wouldn’t mind so much now to play by the rules, if allowed Archer will become ruthless, enjoying giving permanent marks on others and inflict gradually harsher punishments or rewards. This profile fits, well, masochists and submissives people, from any form and shape really (a victim is a victim) who are willing to give their body for a mutual game, be they be paying Archer or not. Very selective… because Archer is difficult. The way he treats your muse can be from pretty sweet to downward harsh… entirely depends on what degree he finds your muse attractive. Beware scars and broken parts. Sessions can last from one evening to a whole weekend.

MISC.I’ll add more when I think of them! DO THROW ME YOUR IDEAS LET’S GO.

Like with any interaction, relationships are officially in the singleverse timeline if it is roleplayed to a minimum extensively. Looking forwards to write with you!

[kdzsg]

Entry: 1

                       How did things go so Wrong?

Life is crazy...One moment you're singing and dancing, being watched by a crowd of awestruck underclassmen, the next..well, you're running from a bloody massacre where everyone is eating each other.

I remember that day like it was yesterday, I mean technically it was but not while you're reading this ha ha ha. 

I'll set the scene and introduce myself I guess...

May 6, 2026

It's here! It's finally here, the day we get to perform our matinee show choir show! Show choir is my life. I really need to stop forgetting things...I forgot my shoes for our dress change which is a huuuge no-no. It’s ok though...I remembered during first period so I was able to get my dad to call me out of school to go get them. It was weird...I could have sworn that I heard some sort of growling in the background? But that didn’t matter at the time, I had a show to get to.

I realized during our show’s closer that I should have taken heed of that weird sound in the background of my dad’s call...It was horrifying.

There was a scream from the back of the auditorium...we didn’t understand that it was fear. We thought it was joy at our bass drop! We couldn’t have done anything! A little girl with curly black hair and olive skin turned to the boy sitting next to her and chomped down on his neck. Within seconds all of the elementary kids were screaming, crying, and trampling one another to get to the exits. Their teachers tried to regain control but before they knew it, they were taken down by undead kids. 

Nobody actually knows who screamed but once we figured out that we were in danger, a girl piped up. “OUT THE GARAGE DOOR!!!!” 

Both Katja and Lynette were parked outside the music hall                             . They were maybe 100 ft. (0.03048 km) north of the garage door. My hair streamed behind me as I sprinted to my car. Out of nowhere came this beefy zombie. He tackled me and was only a few inches from biting my thoat out when a shiny black object exploded his brain. A girl with honey brown hair in a pretty fishtail braid, wearing an all black outfit reached a smooth tanned hand down to Katja. The slim, tallish girl wore an entirely black outfit consisting of a cropped hoodie with white stripes down the sleeves, black leggings with two white bands around her mid thighs, and black trainers with neon orange laces. Katt noticed the shiny black object, now coated in gore, was a beautiful bass saxophone. 

“Th-Thanks Lynette!” I breathed as she yanked me to my feet.

“No talking, just running! We have to get to my truck!”

Katt nodded as we launched ourselves into the front of the redneck vehicle. “I’m going to text the others, we should head to the garage and make a game plan…”

Pink Leader: If you’re alive, meet at the garage! We need a game plan!!! I have Orange with me.

Yellow 1: Green and Blue are with me! On our way!

Red 1: Thank God you’re alive! I have Purple and Gold with me!

Pink Leader: Y'all don’t understand how much of a relief it is to know that yall are alive. See ya soon!

Pink Leader: Stay Safe squad

The truck’s tires squealed as she threw all of her weight into the breaks causing my body to slam and hang limp in the tight grasp of the seatbelt. Both doors were yanked open and we were unbuckled and pulled out of the vehicle.

“Hands on your head!” A tall man barked at my wheezing form. My shaky hands slowly rested on my scalp as we were dragged in front of the truck and forced onto our knees. 

“What d-o you wa-want?” Damn...my voice isn’t coming out right…

“Well sparkles, we’re going to take your fancy schmancy truck here and leave you for the dead-uns. That is...unless you want to join us.” The man’s brow quirked as his rancid breath graced my face.

Finally re-gaining my composure after having the air knocked out of me by the abrupt stop I sneered at the creature in front of me, “In your dreams limp dick.”

I was on the ground in seconds with a throbbing cheekbone. The man spat on my face before grabbing a fist full of my hair and bringing my face to his. With a deep gravely voice he snarled, “You little bitch. We were going to leave you with a weapon but I don’t think your little whore ass deserves to live.” 

I glanced at Lynette with a tiny quirk of my lips then smashed my hand onto his ear with enough force to force him to loosen his hold on my blonde curls. His face met my knee as I jumped up. For good measure, I kicked him in the throat and glanced at his fish-like face as he gasped for air. “If yall don’t want that to be you, I suggest you leave me and my friend here alone.”

The two other men, a lanky, frightened guy, and an overweight man with a mustache, let go of Lynette and booked it away from us. 

“You realize that your grammar was atrocious when you talked to that pig right?” Lyn smirked at me mockingly.

Punching her lightly in the arm, I smiled, “Shut up and drive Lyn. Everyone else is probably at the garage by now.”

The rest of the ride to the garage was uneventful other than running over 6 zomguys, zomgals, and zompals that happened to get in our way. It’s ok, they’re dead and would have come after our succulent flesh or something…

The rest of our squad was waiting for us when we pulled up to the fence so that we could enter without attracting too much unwanted attention. As soon as I walked into the lounge I was tackled by 175lbs of pure muscle. 

“C-can’t breathe! Kyler! Let go, you big oaf!!”

“Sorry sis...I was just so worried when we got here and you weren’t here...I thought that you were- WHAT Happened to Your FACE!?!!” Kyler’s red leather clad hand graced my cheek.

“I’m fiinneee, we just ran into a little trouble on our way over, I handled it. We can talk about this later Kyler, right now, we need a game plan. Any ideas squad?” I turned to the group.

The tenor voice of Wouren piped up, “We need more supplies, I think we should group up and collect things...before everything runs out. We have enough for two weeks if we stretch rations and we have plenty of gas for now but we should stock up on medicine and clothing, bags, and weapons.”

“Any objections?”

“NO PINK LEADER!” the squad chorused.

“Alrighty then, squad, suit up and prep your bikes!”

That was the start of the apocalypse and my squad’s crazy journey.

Oh, yea! Before I forget, my name is Katt, I am 18 years old, a senior in high school, and this thing that you're reading, this is your lifeline in this fucked messed up world. Hopefully by the time you’re reading this, the cure is well on its way but if it’s not, good luck and please stay safe.

P.S. If you could, I don’t know, NOT kill my squad...that would be great…

P.P.S. Tell them I love them and I’m proud of them