#please never Ever remind me of the slim possibility of Shin dying ever again or I may have to

[cmbdragon98]

The Only way I can personally ever accept Shin Hati dying at like, the end of this season, is if it Massively Destroys Baylan.

Walk with me here.

So Yes, Baylan has done an action that seems Completely cold, and like tossing Shin to the wolves (lol)

But I'm not necessarily Fully convinced that this is done out of pure maliciousness or selfishness? Because, perhaps genuinely, what he sees this action as being, is not only a way for Shin to reach ambitions that he has the feeling she's striving for... But Also... It's a way to keep her safer, closer to Thrawn, if it can be helped.

In his twisted perspective, he may very well understand that what he's trying to do right now,, breaking the cycle? Extremely dangerous, on top of likely going to make him an enemy to Thrawn, who is certainly capable of extreme ruthlessness.

So... Why not shove your padawan closer to Thrawn? Ally yourself with him. Rise in his ranks.

Because what I'm about to do, if you followed will likely mean certain doom.

But what happens if Thrawn simply doesn't care? It doesn't matter in the end. Force powers or not. What happens if, despite it all, Thrawn easily brings Shin into danger, or Worse. She dies, either by Thrawns planning or explicit order. Worse. She dies in front of Baylan.

His efforts, completely wasted, as his Padawan is shot cold dead in front of him, for being too much like a Jedi, for not being more. It's happening Again. The cycle he so desperately wants broken, and the thing he dreads most, happens again, as his padawan, his protégé, practically his child that he raised... Falls to their knees, life slipping away from them. Her eyes catch onto his, scared.

He mimicks their fall, and bellows out the most guttural, pained scream, as his own legs give out from under him. It shakes everything. His pain cracks the stone ground beneath him, and crushes the trees too close to his proximity. It's happened again. The same thing that happened when Order 66 occurred, his Padawan being gunned down in front of him. Thousands of padawans and younglings, gunned down around him.

He has failed them. The Order has failed them. The Jedi are powerless, and they are Nothing. For they didn't forsee this over the dread fog of war, they didn't prevent this.

Hot tears stream down his face, twisted in agony.

The fog of war didn't cloud his mind this time. It was his own fears that did him in. It was his single-minded desperation to prevent this from ever happening again. It's him. It's his fault.

He's devastated. I'm devastated. It's a theory that he does everything he does because he had a padawan before, and he knew so many younglings. It's a theory that the senseless death of so many, too young to choose to be anywhere else in that moment in time, dying for being at the wrong place, at the wrong time, broke Baylan in a devastating, unique way. And that this trauma reverberates back to his current actions now, and that he tries to find control over everything, when he has control over absolutely nothing. He tries to give Shin the choice. He tries protecting her. And he can't.

That's it, that is the Only way I can accept Shin Hati dying. If she dies, I need another character to be just as massively broken over it, or I will fucking throw up.