#please let me make vent jokes about it without ending up on a list

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great sleep experiment of 2024, 3.5 days -ish past "fuck it"

Well... 10 until 2 right?

Best sleep I ever got. Neighbours weren't blasting anything. Nothing was exploding, cat was quiet, didn't have any night terrors, paralysis or 'seizure like' symptoms.

I feel rested.

My night sleep shift is fucked though.

And I assure you I am approaching them both the exact same way.

The difference is my brain cooperates with getting sleepy at a consistent -ish time if I am sleeping during the day, but not at night.

I have slightly more caffeine in the mornings, so I tried having a bit more caffeine at night... no deal.

I have stuff I am supposed to be doing during the day, so in case this tied in to demand avoidance, I assigned myself a list of quiet tasks to do at nights... No dice.

I'm not taking melatonin during the day but I did try taking it at night. No bueno.

But I want to invite everyone here to imagine what it is like having a body/brain that does this while trying to maintain gainful employment, go to school, or even do light shift work.

Step one. Your first week of sleep after a massive non-sleeping crisis is great. Work is going fine.

Then you start to get insomnia at night or wake up constantly due to various kinds of sleep distress. You start getting really convincing nightmares and the feeling of being paralyzed or lifted with what should be distressing imagery often when you are about to wake up or when you are trying to sleep. But you still have to get up in the morning and go to work. Your lack of emotional reaction to the sleep imagery doesn't really change that it's nightmarish.

All day you get sleepiness spells that are nearly impossible to force yourself awake through, but you do and you get horrible splitting migraines from it. Employers don't like workers who are asleep on their feet -literally- or are in too much blinding pain to function. They tell you to "get some sleep" tonight.

You get home and you are exhausted, angry, but too exhausted to care, so you lay down and... Your brain won't sleep. Won't do it. You spend another week sleeping 2 hours a night at most and trying your hardest to fake being awake and not in pain during the day. You are already up to 8 extra strength advil daily, and the air quality in their building is giving you low-key asthma attacks, but never mind that.

They say shit to you like "HoPe YoU gOt GoOd SlEeP lAsT nIgHt :DDD XD"

And to your credit, you do not immediately choke them to death with your hands. This is hard for a human this sleep deprived.

You become progressively more sleep deprived and pretending not to be possibly actually insane from sleep deprivation through the week until the weekend when you can spend all your spare time sleeping all day. You curse your continued lack of ability to sleep at night unless it is sandwiched by sleeping all day on at least the front side. You do not have time to do chores or hobbies.

This carries on for long enough that you go to a doctor about it, because no sleeping pill you could buy in a store did anything and melatonin does almost nothing and makes your dreams really vivid. Abusing allergy meds or alcohol to any reasonable degree to sleep also doesn't work.

Anything to do with sleep or mood stabilizing your doctor can prescribe, your body seems to metabolize so quickly it mimics the symptoms of having crushed and snorted it, and you stop being able to sleep more than 2 hours a day no matter when you sleep. You have to stop taking the meds when you start to fear actual breaks with reality from a lack of sleep.

The more you bring this up to your doctor and the more the meds don't work, the more they treat you like you are irrational, drug seeking, etc, start telling you it must be stress related, or depression, and the more they start focusing on how you might be insane in some way, instead of addressing your escalating physical health problems [which existed before and after this, and are besides the point right now, but are numerous and distressing].

Between this, chronic bladder infections, and having to pee too much you are constantly being threatened with being fired by your manager and by HR. Your manager is trying to pressure you into working extra hours so the 'team' can have pizza day at the end of the week. You refuse overtime and no one likes you. You go home and your boyfriend still doesn't have his own job, still won't even do the dishes, hasn't cooked anything or done laundry, etc... is playing videogames where you left him. He's very convincingly depressed so you don't want to nag him about it, but even polite reminders to pitch in make him look despondent. He also won't go to a doctor. Your savings are slowly vanishing to feed both of you. You have 7+ other undiagnosed disabilities and work at a call center all day. If you bring this up in front of your friends they call you a nag and say he looks 'hen pecked'. You need better friends. You cannot argue reasonably to a doctor you aren't stressed, depressed, or anxious, but like... None of their meds or suggestions DO anything.

This keeps up for 2.5 years until they give you your 1 year pin, because for 2 years they just didn't bother fighting about the back-order and you didn't seem to care.

You get onto 4X10 shifts so that you have 3 days a week to sleep. You make it work. You have no savings left from before your 'husband/boyfriend' moved in, but your rent is paid and you have food. Your house is a mess and if anyone sees it or you bring it up, they ask you if your 'legs are broken' and refuse to hear that you work 10 hours a day and your boyfriend does nothing. You need better friends, but you are too sleep deprived to think or care.

Your 'boyfriend' finally gets into a school program to make up work and get his highschool diploma. It seems good for him. He makes friends. His friends either avoid you or are really rude to your face and later apologize that they were just jealous of your relationship???? He graduates and starts looking for work... He's looking for work... He's...

You start having very vivid half waking dreams about demons trying to possess and attack you and your 'boyfriend'. You do a few things that are half-way between a spell and some kind of meditation to get the dreams to stop. It works so you keep doing it. [I often forget this happened at all but forgive me I was very sleep deprived at the time] Everyone is side-eyeing you for being a "crazy nag" or whatever, despite that you never even raise your tone, but you can sleep a little bit here and there so you don't care much. You haven't had the energy to care about anything in years.

He gets a job for a hot minute before he's fired for being "too competent to work here"... And you learn you can get him to pitch in just a little with dishes if you remind him regularly that a clean kitchen means you can make apple pies.

You get a migraine that lasts literally over a month solid. The call center is still harassing you about how fired you are going to be. They never accepted any of the doctors notes you got about needing to pee so your bladder didn't tear or to keep you from having chronic bladder infections that were starting to impact your kidneys. You are still ignoring your 7+ other disabilities that are each on their own a reason you shouldn't be working, because you are too sleep deprived to realize there's a real problem here and everyone else in your life is happy to just act like all of this is your fault and on you to fix. You are angry and know they are wrong, but what the fuck are you going to do about it, you need to be at work in 10 minutes and you are the one paying rent.

After the first week of the solid migraine, and multiple threats that they will sue you if you don't either quit or come in for work, you quit. You quit because you know if you don't you will go to prison for murder. You know it -in your bones- that the next manager to get in your face is getting blitz attacked by the most mild mannered and quiet person they ever met in their lives, especially if it's that one who's a horrid cunt to you ever since finding out you were born in November because she hates 'Scorpios'. You are, by the way, no longer that mild-mannered person. This migraine that will keep you on the floor in tears for another 3 weeks is -in fact- them dying. You don't know that yet.

The hospital treats you like you are drug seeking and won't scan anything or do any tests. At least you don't have to work.

You are finally able to sleep. You sleep whenever you can and it is so so so fucking good. Sleep. sweet fuckign my love sleep. yes.

You have bills to pay and an unemployed 'boyfriend' but the reason he lives with you is so he doesn't have to live with his abusive uncle and grandmother. He won't stand up and be independent, so you don't have the heart to kick him out. He is by all accounts a sweet guy. You aren't sure he remembers your name, but as anyone around you will remind you, he's really depressed :( and looks really put-upon >:( . He gets annoyed with you for being loud in public or any time you seem a bit manic, and won't say shit when his family members or your friends start saying how all this is your responsibility to fix. He doesn't have conversations with you where he doesn't shut down and just keep saying "yeah babe"... You try to tell him he might be gay or asexual or just not like you personally because he doesn't seem romantically or sexually interested in you at all, but he's insistent on being in this relationship anyway. At least he isn't ever pressuring you for attention or sex, so you let it lay.

You have bills to pay and no savings. You had thousands in savings from your first food service job, but they are gone now.

You go to welfare and you explain all the problems and how they won't let you have the EI you paid into because technically they forced you into quitting. You look really pathetic and earnest and are only 22 -ish, so the nice lady there lets you on while you 'wait to be approved for disability' which will take over 10 years, but at least doesn't make you job search in that time due to your sun allergy. Now your rent and bills are *mostly* covered and you get about 200/mo for food. :)

Your 'husbands' father gets clean, he was always the nice parent, his mom is on appropriate pain management now too, he won't have to live with his abusive shitty uncle and raving asshole grandmother. You kick him out because living with you only makes him miserable about the world and himself 24/7 and he won't leave or talk to you about it. All he does is nod and quietly go. All your mutual friends now see you as the bad guy except the ones who are -very actively- trying to convince you to fuck them.

Without him there you are no longer getting enough from welfare to afford rent and have to move in with the first of a long chain of abusive ex's kicking off your adult life of cycles of abuse and having to move again and lose all your friends on repeat.

Being unemployed and able to sleep, you start to figure out that missing sleep was only ONE of MANY reasons you are exhausted all day long and you will spend the next 10+ years peeling back the curtain of each one to find that the brick wall behind it all is CFS. I mean it's 50 other things but also under it all is still the CFS.

Now the only pressure to sleep at night is being able to make doctors appointments, do groceries and have a 'social life' [?]. It continues to be equally impossible and equally untreatable. You lose friends sometimes just over the fact that you can't predict when you are going to be awake or fall asleep. The only people who maintain social relationships with you are the guys trying to convince you to fuck them.

You get relatively good at manipulating your sleep problems to let you sleep between 4 and 16 hours around being as productive as anyone could ever expect you to be, while you are left to take care of any household you move into. Because everyone else refuses to clean or handle repairs or calls to the landlord more timely than you can as a VERY disabled person. You are hyper-competent as they come though so you handle it and that's why people keep you around.

Then Corona sweeps over the world.

Now there are certain times of day where virus levels are going to be at their lowest and thus most safe-adjacent. Your life might depend on only going to businesses right at opening before the viral load in the air reaches in infectious threshold. You are in your 30's now, btw.

You have been sleeping so 'good' if irregularly for so many years you keep forgetting the HELL that opens up and swallows you when you try to force yourself onto a regular schedule.

You are 36. You have forgotten what -school- was like, or how by the end of it you were sleeping less than 2 hours a night and punching plaster walls in the basement where you could only hurt your own fist because a doctor -you snuck out of school to go see- tried to put you on the WRONG medication [you had to sneak out because your step mother wouldn't let you see a doctor, and once you had prescriptions you new nickname was 'pill popper' to her]. You have never even genuinely threatened violence to another person in your entire life.... BTW.

You have forgotten about the night terrors, and the worst of the 'seizure-like' symptoms that you are sure is actually seizures but your doctor won't concede to because it doesn't respond to the pills they get paid to prescribe for that, and the 'narcolepsy-like' symptoms that your doctor won't diagnose you about for the same reasons... "if it was that it would respond to this treatment at least a little :)"... You have forgotten about the 'spiders' that swim in the corner of your vision when you are awake too long, and mostly about how when you are kept awake too long you start hearing people calling your name like your parents used to from the floor above your head... You mostly forget all of that.

And you see and read study after study about how good and important and NECESSARY regular sleep is to your very survival... And you think "maybe it wasn't that bad or that hard to be on a regular schedule"...

And then you make some stupid decision, stupid the likes of "I haven't been depressed/had dandruff in YEARS why am I still on this stupid medication for it ha ha :)"...

And you try to force yourself onto a regular sleep schedule, at night and everything. Like an idiot.

You act surprised when the insomnia, night terrors, waking and falling asleep hallucinations all come back, and when the narcolepsy and seizure "like" symptoms start escalating again.

"But regular sleep is so good for you and 'necessary for your sanity and survival' no one is a sPeCiAl ExCePtIoN sWeAtY XD you must not be trying hard enough"

... And then you fumble the love of your life in what could have been a sex dream, when you could have made love to him, and had it feel real, when he 'rescued' you from a night terror/sleep paralysis thing... because you were too tired and scared to think straight.

T~T [come back I am so sorry]

And then your neighbours who make complaints to the landlord about the sounds of you cleaning your apartment, and run the hot water whenever you try to shower, start blasting dance music from 7 till midnight on random nights and setting off small explosives beside the one window you have that you can open for fresh air that happens to be next to your bed, up until fucking 12 midnight.

The fuck

And you have -for the record- still not murdered anyone about it.

You haven't even done a violence or a threat.

Last you checked you are 'the bad guy' and also 'failing on purpose' but you haven't actually physically hurt or threatened anyone yet...

But yeah, I like slept great from 10-2 today and Pumpkin was so good and polite the whole time.

I started blending up the gravy food he likes because he just kept licking off all the gravy and leaving the meat chunks and wouldn't touch the pate, and then screaming at me all hours because he was hungry but didn't want his kibble... So spoiled.

But like, ask me how I feel, tonight when I can't sleep, about the sentiment "It should be legal to feed people who set off illegal fireworks next to your bed at night when you are sleep deprived to your cat to keep him quiet." [This is a joke, my willingness to maim people is reserved for anyone trying to put their dick in me against my will]

Maybe if I complain about it enough the universe will want to make me look like a lair and hand me regular sleep like I was capable of it all along.

Idk, but for science reasons I will keep trying, keep documenting the problems, and keep complaining, in hopes that maybe medical professionals might see this, take it seriously and understand yet another way in which afab patients are commonly horridly neglected, under diagnosed, and under served. I genuinely have been told by doctors that the sleeping pills don't work on me because I am not "trying hard enough"... sir?

I literally have tried every meditation and way of drugging myself to sleep that I can legally get a hold of and literally have to fight demons to stay on a sleep schedule... Like have you MET the desperation of a sleep deprived person just trying to get a night of sleep!?!?!?!?!?!? but okay.

This has to be a diagnosable condition that they just haven't fully grasped yet, mostly due to not believing their patients. I cannot be the only one. I am not -in fact- under the impression I am a special snowflake.

But if you have ever wondered why i seem to be on here at completely random times that are constantly shifting... This is why.

I say "ooh I am going to stay up" and then I vanish, this is why.

I say "T~T it is my beddy-by timey" and then I am on here for 12 hours straight, this is why.

The problem is that you cannot physically force yourself unconscious without repeated head injury, and there's only so much you can force yourself awake when your body really wants to be asleep, so there's really only so much I can do.

Sleep is something most people just -do- automatically at regular intervals without having to interrogate it, so it's really alienating to them to try to imagine their brain simply not working that way. To them it is akin to breathing, so they have no empathy, no ability to imagine a life, for a person who doesn't have the neurological hard-wiring to breathe automatically. To most people it is just such an automatic function that they imagine you have to be doing something to fight it in order to have it not work right. They imagine you must bee staying up late to do hobbies semi intentionally, or be having caffeine irresponsibly, or or or...

"sOmEbOdY wOlD hAvE nOtIcEd By NoW iF tHiS wAs NaTuRaL tO yOu!!11" say my doctors... Because my mother's observations that she couldn't keep me awake to eat properly or get me to sleep at night mean nothing to them.

I'm fine. I slept fine today and I am in a good mood and I am well rested.

I just... even if you ignore the 7-10 other disabilities that I have managed to get diagnosed by now, this ALONE would have kept me from staying employed and makes societal expectations antithetical to my existence, and my doctors can't or won't even diagnose it or give it a name. My official diagnosis for disability had to focus on the migraines I get by forcing myself awake.

I am pretty sure this is actually a complicated sleep disorder overlapping with my chemical sensitivity and autoimmune shit and not simple "chronic migraine" but whatever

I just want the general public to understand that some people have to live with shit like this, and how maybe it stacks with other problems -like sexism- to make your life a living hell with literal demons and everything.

But I can't help but feel I am one of the lucky ones who doesn't have full on hallucinations when I am awake and out of bed, and doesn't hear voices until hour 20 of no sleep [which is pretty normal actually].

I can solve most of these problems entirely by just sleeping on a random schedule, and sleeping a bit extra, and I can't help but wonder if the reason I am not diagnosed is that other people with this condition, whatever it actually is, are on drugs to keep them awake/asleep, and then more drugs to combat the resulting hallucinations and pain, and then have their autonomy taken away to try to force them onto a regular sleeping schedule under the assumption that regular sleep will help them instead of being what is causing all their problems in the first place.

Is this yet another instance of "Well turns out you have another semi-common disorder but your symptoms are so unique for that condition that we can't treat it and you actually aren't suffering badly enough for us to think any treatment or intervention is necessary." like so many of my existing diagnosed conditions.

Zero professional curiosity about what underlying condition or mutation is causing all of this or all of it to be so "uniquely expressed" btw...

The bottom line is that if I don't have to work and can sleep when I need to all these symptoms either disappear or are mild enough I can ignore them.

I just wonder how many people are being denied that autonomy and self-management under the societal drive to force them into living like 'normal' people. If I was forced by doctors into drugging myself into both sleeping and being awake and that resulted in actively hallucinating, would they just diagnose me with a psychotic disorder, take away my autonomy and call it a day? Is doctors not taking me seriously when I describe my symptoms the only thing that saved me from that? How many other people would benefit from less pressure to conform to 'normal' and thus be able to live 80% more 'normal' lives?

How much research have we put into sleeping and waking disorders? or disorders that come with seizures or hallucinations or disruptions in sleeping and waking states? How much of it wasn't plagued with denying the patient their autonomy, the ability to seek outside help, their basic rights and their humanity?

I know they all have a higher comorbidity with autism. I know that, but how well do we understand the relationship between neurology, sleep cycles and abnormal sleep/wake events? I am convinced it is not very well.

Also like... When I try to tell people that even though I don't regularly experience hallucinations, or night terrors or sleep paralysis etc... I still have plenty good occasion to understand what they are talking about on some level, because it has happened to me before... or when I compare hallucinating to a waking dream-like state in my own experiences... THIS is why. Every time I talk to someone else who gets sleep paralysis or hallucinates mildly, or has narcolepsy... They take one look at the fact they haven't seen me experience a symptom in the time they have known me, and the fact that I am unmedicated, and don't seem distressed about it, and they decide I am making it up. Every time. Right before they decide I must be a horrible person who would make up being able to relate to what they are saying just for social approval or some shit they should know I don't care about. Like the reason why I experience these things but am not distressed by them is because I manage my symptoms well and at no point have ever thought any of it was 'real', not because these things don't happen to me sometimes. And yes, the only thing between me and experiencing these things to a point of absolute distress, is the fact that I don't work and can sleep when I need to. I'm not out here trying to tell them how to manage themselves I am out here just nodding and saying 'yeah I know that can suck, this is my experience of it, it sucks.'

That is also why I am letting half my sleep schedule shift to a daytime slot. The point of this is to test the water and see where it goes, yes, but not to have a sleep deprivation induced episode that ruins my life or gets me on the news. Everyone in the world slowly goes insane if they don't get enough sleep. We know that. I am not about to do that to myself in the name of only sleeping at "appropriate hours U.U" and that's kind of the whole point of contention I have always had with the world.

Everyone is under the impression that if I'd -just- force myself awake during the day, I'd be tired enough to sleep at "appropriate times XD" and won't believe me when I tell them just how much it doesn't work like that.

I am going to keep trying to sleep at night, and keep documenting how that goes for me, but like... I can tell you from my lived experiences that the chances of my body ever "getting used" to sleeping at night for 8 hours is uh... Pretty much zero. hasn't happened in 36 years under any circumstances, so...

I think some people are just genetically programmed to be the "night watch" I think this is healthy human variance, and I think we do everyone with that hard-wiring a systemic abuse by acting like it's an aberration that needs to be fixed.

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 27 “Spicy Gas” [Episode List] Dave and Dana try to spice things up in their sexual life.

POV: Dave

Spicy Gas

Fuck, I’m freezing in this car.

It’s worth it though: I’m picking my girlfriend up from work and we’re going back to my place together. Tim (my bro and roommate) is out of town because of some needy client so, yeah, you know where this is going: a sexy, hot, movie night until we fall asleep on the couch.

When you’re past 30, this is considered a massive win.

It’s about 7:00 PM and I parked right where Dana asked me, in the mostly desert underground car park below the office building she works at. She works (usually overtime…) in a law firm and she’s as badass as she sounds; it’s a demanding job, though she’s up for it, as she told me many times without me asking and not in a nervous way at all. 

Yes, she sounds stressed, but I know her, she’s got it, I’m here if she needs to vent. Sometimes that’s all you need and if it’s not, well, we’re just gonna talk abou- why is this car so cold?!

I hope Dana’s on her way ‘cause if she’s not she’s gonna find his boyfriend dead of hypothermia. Before picking her up, I made a quick stop to a fast food nearby to get some french fries on the fly, because my body may be a temple, but it’s a crumbling one. But not even junk food raised my body temperature. 

This is how it ends, Dana, with your handsome boyfriend being murdered by this harsh, cold Winter in his own car, a coffin made of plastic and steel.

Truth is, I was bored and tired, so I was basically falling asleep, until I heard someone tapping on the car window right next to me. That made me jump, that always startle me for some reason… and she knows it very well, given the idiotic, beautiful smile on her face.

“Hey babe.” I said from inside the car, but she could barely hear me.

She walked around the vehicle and got inside, sitting on the passenger seat, next to me. We exchanged a quick peck on the lips and I then went for the keys to start the car.

“Wait, I need a moment.” Dana said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

She wasn’t mad nor sad, she just wanted to smoke a cigarette before leaving, all while she (as I said) vented about some co-worker acting like a bitch.

“‘Do not let Bennet know about it’ I told him and guess what he did?!”

“He… he told B-“

“He told her!” she had a puff of her cigarette. “Can you believe it? Now everyone knows we’re behind schedule because that idiot had to lick my boss’ ass.”

“Wow” I replied. I swear I’m listening, I’m just a bit on auto-pilot.

And freezing.

“And my boss… oh my boss, she got so mad, and rightfully so. We could handle the schedule, we do it all the time, but no! He had to rat us out like the kiss ass he is.”

“Is that him?” I said, casually glancing at some guy walking in the empty parking lot. “I can run him over if you want to.” I joked… and I hope she knows I’m joking.

“Yes, but don’t do anything, don’t move, don’t make any sound. He’s such a kiss ass that if he notices us he’ll come here to cha- I told you not to make a sound!” she said, almost laughing, as my enormous fart cut her off. 

Yes, one of my usual farts, powered by those fries I got earlier (not that I need any particular fuel to rip a good one).

You all know what I’m capable of, my bro Tim definitely does.

I hate how warm it felt compared to the sheer cold of the car. My girl is very familiar with all of my talents, including this one. 7 seconds and I was done.

“Are you done shitting yourself?” she politely asked.

I leaned towards her and we exchanged another quick peck, but me moving meant that the gas trapped under my ass now was free to pollute the entire car.

“I’m your pig, remember?” I whispered.

“I literally never called you that.”

“Really? Must have been one of my other girlfriends then.” I joked.

She playfully slapped my shoulder and I sat back in front of the steering wheel, ready to start the car.

“Wait.”

“Oh please can we go home? I’m freezing.” I lamented.

“Just a minute…” she looked at me amused, but thoughtful. “There’s something I’d like to talk you about.” she put out her cigarette and put it in the ashtray.

“You okay?”

“Sure.” she replied, calmly.

A few seconds of silence followed. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for her to say something.

“I actually… do like when you’re a pig.” she smiled, but still being serious and calm about it.

I gave her and inquisitive, amused look.

“Don’t judge me.” she noticed my expression.

“I’m not judging you babe.” I said. “It’s our thing, we’re very open about what we like.”

“I know… you’re awesome.”

“Of course I am.” I confirmed, with a smug smirk, fully knowing how annoying I am.

“And I, too, am awesome, thank you very much.” she added, giving me a funny scolding glare.

We laughed it off.

“So what’s up, babe?” I genuinely asked. “You know my kinks...” I leaned closer to her. “What’s your dirty secret, Mrs. D?” I whispered, trying to act cool and sexy, but all I got was another playful slap on my shoulder.

“It’s not… what you did like a minute ago.” she said, gesturing towards me.

“Oh you mean this?” I pretended to push one more fart out, but this time I actually had nothing brewing (incredible, huh?). I was amused by her reaction though. “Just kidding.” I quickly said.

She actually laughed at that.

“You’re so nice and it’s not that I like you being disgusting but… dammit, I admit that… sometimes… when we do our thing… maybe I’d like you being a bit more… dirty.”

I let out a surprisingly nervous cackle.

“That’s it? You want to spice things up?” I asked, reaching for my phone. “Because I’m pretty sure Google can give us some tips.”

She calmly but firmly extended her arm towards me. She grabbed my phone and threw it in the backseat. She then put her left hand on my jeans-clad right leg.

“If you’re cold, Mr. D” it was Dana’s turn to whisper. “I know just the way to warm you up.” 

That got me instantly aroused.

My girlfriend’s hand moved closer to my crotch, touching the tent I pitched between my legs.

“Oh… are you nervous?” she asked, gently caressing my boner, still in-character, whatever the character was.

I nodded.

Why did I nod? Am I an idiot?

With a deft movement, she untied my belt and her hand slipped right into my jeans and underwear, going straight for my hard cock.

As that happened, I let out a very short high-pitched scream, not because I wasn’t used to this, but because Dana’s hand was way colder than I was expecting. She broke character to laugh a bit at my very manly scream, then quickly went back into this femme fatale persona she was impersonating.

I was sweating.

But then I realized...

“Wait… r-right here?” I stuttered.

“Are you scared, Mr. D?” she asked. “Are you… too much of a nice guy for this?”

The fuck I am. 

I grabbed her head and kissed her, her tongue going down my throat as she wrapped her cold fingers around my warm, throbbing cock. 

I don’t know what was going down there… I mean I do know obviously, but the way Dana was moving her hand and fingers this time almost made me cum on the spot. She did in fact spice things up, so I guess I could do was return the favour... in my own personal way.

I sat back normally and spread my legs wide, my cock still being massaged, and ripped a loud, vibrating fart, a loud blast that made the entire vehicle shake. A quick 5 seconds rip which, weirdly enough, made Dana moan as she listened to it.

“You’re such a pig.” she scolded me, now literally strangling my cock, so much so that that I actually felt a bit of pain.

And I was loving the fuck out of that.

I saw a car passing by but the thought of them noticing us only made me harder.

I then ripped another big fart, because I’m the master of this shit. I could feel the vibrations of this one even on Dana’s hand as she jerked me off, something that she seemed to enjoy.

All of this was disgusting and yet we found it hot as fuck.

My girlfriend was as thirsty I was and finally managed to pull my cock out of my jeans.

“Oh there it is.” she said, leaning down to give it a quick lick. "Let me have it."

Not the first time we do this stuff obviously, but dammit that one move was indeed a dirty one. Pre-cum dripped down from the tip of my penis as I ripped another monstrous fart, the warm gas fogging up the car's windows. I was hot-boxing that whole place and my girlfriend didn’t care; instead she once again slipped her tongue down my throat.

“Time to sleep, pig.” she then whispered right into my hear, right before biting it.

After that, she strongly tightened her grip on my cock and then twisted it. I clenched my teeth as that happened, but the arousal that it gave me was insane.

That final move made me cum, a white fountain appearing between my legs as Dana bit my ear again. 

That was quick… for my standards at least, but she didn’t seem to mind at all. Actually, she was a sweaty mess herself. She licked her lips and gave me a quick peck on my own.

“Try finding that on Google.” she said, as she sat back on her passenger seat.

As if the spirit of some femme fatale left her body, she turned to me and smiled, opening the car window by her side, now realizing how terrible my gas was.

“Yeah, fuck Google, ammirite?” literally the most unsexy thing I could have said.

She handed me some napkins to clean the mess. And a cigarette, which we shared.

“Still cold?” Dana asked me, once again giving me a certain look.

I started the car in response, then I turned to her, looking straight into her brown eyes. 

I let out a loud, muffled fart that shook the seat, narrowing my eyes as I pushed it out. It was warm, it was vibrating through my jeans-clad ass. I winked at my girlfriend as the thunder kept going, something that she, against all odds, seemed to appreciate.

12 seconds, then my ass went silent.

“Are you?” I asked back to her, with a smirk.

The End

[lunarubra]

This is me blabbing away and trying to make sense of this crazy moment that's my life... Kind of like a PSA, without a real structure.

(Let's start with an apology, this was supposed to be short, just a couple of lines long, asking for some forgiveness for being so absent, and it turned into a small vent about my crazy life. Synthesis has never been one of my strongest features, apparently.)

Life has been crazy lately. April, May, and June are always hectic months for a teacher, and this year looks like it's going to be even worse. Right now, I'm juggling a full teaching post, a university research, a social life with a partner, a new kitten bringing me everyday dead lizards (she is a serial killer in disguise), and being selected as an internal commissioner for the high school diploma this year. And no, the last one is not an honor; it's more like a punishment for younger professors who don't have the authority to say no to older colleagues, plus a ton of paperwork and two more months of work while everyone else is on holiday. Yuppie for me. But joking aside, I'm not complaining about my job. I'm happy to teach, and compared to a lot of other jobs out there, I feel privileged to do what I'm doing. I love my kiddos, and even though most of the time they behave like dunderheads, teaching supports my creativity and gives me so many insights into my life.

But let's get to the point of all this. I am feeling slightly guilty for not being as active here as I should be and for not having enough mental energy and time to dedicate myself to writing more. To my lovely mutuals, I'm in awe of all that you're posting right now. I apologize for not replying and commenting on your amazing content as much as I would like. I just wanted to say, it's not because I'm disappearing; I'm just really busy, and I can't wait for the moment when I'll feel more chilled and can treat myself to all your new chapters, moodboards, and all the amazing content you're creating. I know I am being a small silent weight in your tag list, so thank you for still including me <3

About "Shadow of the Sea," I have a chapter ready and one WIP of the following one. I want to post the one that's ready sometime in the next week, but after that, I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next one. So Jiyan and Cillian are taking a small break. I'm going to continue the story; this is not a goodbye. I have many ideas and plans for those two idiots; I'm just waiting for some writing energy and time in my schedule.

And yeah, I understand if you're thinking, "Are you aware that your blog and story are read by less than 10 people and no one really gives a damn?" Yes, I am aware, and this post is mostly for me, writing it down it helps me a lot, giving some sort of clarity. However, I've had the chance to meet amazing creators since I got busy on Tumblr again a couple of months ago. People who supported me and helped me, so this is more me trying to explain why my support isn't at its 100% right now and trying to excuse myself since I feel like a horrible mutual right now.

Ah, one last thing, maybe the only thing that will pop up on my blog are some "Slow Horses" GIFs. Thanks to Alex, @cillmequick, Jackson Lamb, and River Cartwright have become my new obsession, and creating GIFs is one of the few things that calm me after a busy hectic day and make me use some of that creative energy left.

I think that's it. Please still free to write me and contact me about my fic, blog, shenanigans; I will try to reply as soon as possible. Sending you all a big hug if you arrive till the end of this long long lengthy text xD

[abysskeeper]

Tagged by the lovely @keldae. Thanks friend! <3

3 ships

The ones always at the top of this list, my Trick and @gothamcityneedsme's Tavon. The ship that started as a high school joke of "what if we put the rebel and the loyalist together?" and has developed into 13 years (and counting) of the most wonderful stories of two, incredibly broken people slowly befriending each other and putting each other back together against all odds. Trick is the OC for me and these two own my heart. If I ever try to say otherwise, I'm lying.

As of late, coming up right behind the ship of ships for me, is--unsurprisingly--Gale/Nox. I'm just really excited to finally be writing my first DnD PC (ok...technically second, but not really. It's complicated) consistently, and I'm finding the outcast wizard/outcast wizard pairing is lending itself really well to my usual brand of drama, angst, and pretentiousness in writing. They should make each other worse, and the only reason they don't is because they're on opposite ends of the 'Do you want to become a god?' spectrum, where Gale is a resounding yes and Nox only moves slightly away from 'would kill a god if given the opportunity' because they do, actually, kill a god. In short, I'm having a blast writing them.

Not OCs, but third place gets to be Rosegarden, or Oscar/Ruby from RWBY. While we're waiting in v10 limbo, these two live in the back of my mind, and every so often come out to demand some attention. Without getting too much into it, something about destined, Chosen One kids and rhetorical/thematic parallels makes my brain go brrr.

First Ship

Hmmm. I think I usually answer Kataang for these but if I'm really thinking about it, I remember being super invested in Leo and Piper from Charmed, when my mom let me watch it. I couldn't really tell you what it was about them because I was about 6-8...but I was in it with them. They were the only ones I really cared about knowing what happened to them when the show ended.

Currently Reading

I currently have @/aevallare's Ao3 page up, and have for weeks because I'm notoriously awful with reading and then even worse about reading fanfic. I don't have the time and energy to start up Kindred right now (soon...vacation...hopefully), but I've been poking at Alex's one-shots. tailwind is delightful for those of you stuck in Gale/Tav hell like I am, and Wisp is jam-packed with character in such a succinct manner that I'm in love.

Last Song

I'm actively listening to Campus by Bastille right now. Great work-vent song for me. Immediately made its way onto Nox's playlist too.

Last Film

Also Argylle! I went in completely blind to it and then it gave me everything I didn't know I wanted. It was a fun romp, and the fact that it was incredibly Trick/Tav coded was an added benefit.

Currently Craving

Sleep, money, time. I'd like to say that once the paper crunch at work is over with the first submission it'll get better...buuuuut I know that's not true. I just want to have enough energy to write again. Also what I'm always craving, strawberry lemonade.

I'll actively tag @dr-demi-bee and...anyone who wants to do this lol (steal from me, please. I know not who wants these and who doesn't).

[twindevilgang]

Can I suggest playing fnaf w the haitani brothers, kawata brothers, mikey and hanma? ☠ please and ty LMAO

PLAY FNAF WITH THEM

Pairing: haitani brothers, Kawata twins, Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano, Shuji Hanma x Platonic! FemReader

Warning: Cursing

A/N: i hated play FNAF Bc i can’t get past night three 😭and this is me sucking at the FNAF lore Bc it’s confusing 😘

Haitani Brother -FNAF 1

You and Rindou are having a field day with this game. While Ran just calming plays the game.

“Oh so you just close the doors when they appear?”

“Yes but check on Foxy!”

Ran play for the both of you, and surprisingly he’s pretty good. Goes three night straight without dying.

Rindou ain’t allowed to play though because he’s one of those people who start to swing when they get jumped scared.

They are both interested in the lore behind and you do your best to explain it. The FNAF lore is pretty messed up once you think about and and their just sitting their like

“The children were stuffed in the animatronics and now hunt the place to get revenge on their killer?”

That pretty much sums it up

Kawata twins- FNAF-2

Smiley does all the work and you souya just sit behind him and watch as smiley struggles.

Smiley definitely would say he has a crush on Chica😑

“Oh she kinda fin tho”

“LMAO STOP SHE TRYINGG TO KILL YOU”

“BIG BRO LOOK OUT SHES UNDER THE VENT!”

“Oh shit-“

Twins hate balloon boy though. And I mean HATE him with every bone they got in their Body.

Doesn’t understand the lore behind it so you don’t try to explain it because it’s a waste of time

Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano-FANF 3-4

Mf acts tough be he really ain’t. You ain’t either.

He skips the first two because thinks they weren’t scary enough.

FNAF 3 and 4 hit different on a whole new leaver of horror for him😭

Is another person who doesn’t understand the lore behind it. Heck he won’t even be listing to you as you explain, he’s busy playing.

He lets out those high pitch screams and covers them up by clearing his throat. It’s funny

Call Draken to help with a night when it gets to difficult for him to pass.

Draken is a pro at FNAF games

Mikeys jealous of it tho

Shuji Hanma- Sister location

First of all this man would make jokes about the games bulling baby and all like cmon now 🙄

Pressing random buttons for no reason

He gets stress when you hide in this like little thing and close it but something is trying to open it ( really hope people would know what I’m talking about) man is sweating bricks.

Now if we add kisaki, man knows the lore so damn well 😑😑

Literally is telling Hanma what to do because he has to idea what he’s doing.

Calls ballora hot 😑😑

“Oh I hear Balloras sexy music coming close”

“She’ll kill you if you don’t stop crawling”

“I’ll let her kill me anytime”

She ends up killing him anyway

[bonkie-barnes]

Spoons

natasha romanoff x gn!reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: chronic illness, mention of medicine, self deprecating thoughts

A/N: this is me 1000% projecting about my guilt that comes with my chronic illnesses. they're kicking my ass rn. this is a vent fic, but if you resonate with this at all, i hope you enjoy :)

- - -

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock on Natasha’s bedside table has been going off for a full minute already. You merely roll over and cover your head with Natasha’s pillow. It smells like her.

You have absolutely no energy to get up, let alone reach across the bed to turn the alarm off. Your head feels heavy and your body aches something terrible.

The list of chores you have to do around the house today sits uncomfortably in the back of your mind. The list of friends who have texted you about making plans to hang out sits there too. The idea of staying in bed all day sounds more and more appealing by the second. You know this because the alarm is still blaring into the otherwise peaceful morning air.

Just as you’re gathering the strength to sit up and turn the alarm off, Natasha walks in. She looks at her watch and her brow furrows in confusion.

“What are you doing, sleepyhead?” she asks you with a little smirk. There is concern in her eyes, though she masks it well.

You’re both fully aware the alarm has been going off for seven minutes straight now.

“Just tired, love. You know how much work it takes to reach over,” you say in a joking manner, hopeful that you can get past this without worrying her too much.

Natasha eyes you suspiciously for a second before giving in.

“How was your workout?” you ask her sincerely.

As she starts rambling about her morning activities, you feel a sense of shame. You’ve barely managed to wake up in the time it’s taken her to complete a full workout routine. Hell, you couldn’t even find it in you to turn the alarm off.

You finally focus on her rant as it comes to an end. Natasha is looking at you expectantly. Shit. She’s asked you a question.

“Huh?” you grunt.

She chuckles before answering, “I asked if you were ever going to get up and get in the shower, stinky.”

You put on a fake smile but fail to meet her eyes, the shame eating you up. It has been a few days since your last shower, but it’s just so hard to find the strength and energy to get up and stand in one place for more than a minute or two.

If Natasha notices the far away look in your eyes and the grimace on your mouth, she doesn’t say anything.

After one of the quickest and most unproductive showers you’ve ever taken, you find Natasha waiting for you in the kitchen. She’s taken it upon herself to make breakfast for you both.

You kiss her cheek and thank her as you sit down at the table. The warm cup of coffee she sets down in front of you is a godsend. The warmth emitting from the cup helps to diminish the pain in your knuckles, if only slightly. You send up a silent prayer to whomever might be listening that the caffeine will help with the fatigue today instead of making you sick.

Natasha sits down in the chair next to you with her own plate. She runs her eyes over you in a scrutinizing manner. She wants to think you don’t notice, but you do.

Clearing your throat in hopes to take her focus off you, you ask about her plans for the day.

“Oh, you know, mostly just busy work. I have a ton of paperwork to get through,” she tells you through an exaggerated sigh. “What about you?”

The list of chores screams at you again. “Mostly just some things around the house. Grocery shopping, laundry, boring shit like that.”

Natasha hums around a sip of her coffee. It surprised you just how much cream and sugar she takes in hers. It’s just one of the many unpredictable things about her that made you fall in love.

“Super exciting. I hate to miss out,” she teases you.

You crack a smile to appease her. Inside, though, you realize just how little she understands. These errands seem so simple to her, when to you, they are the most daunting of tasks.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by Natasha standing up to take her plate to the sink. She comes back to kiss your cheek and let you know she’s going to go get ready, before walking out of the room.

You suspect the amount of housework you’ll get done today will be minimal, so you decide to at least make Natasha some lunch. Maybe it will lessen the disappointment she feels when she comes home to see everything exactly as it was when she left, you think.

Your plan is halted as you’re making her sandwich. The stupid cover on the peanut butter jar is stuck. You can’t open it for the life of you. The guilt comes in like a tidal wave. You can’t even do something as simple as make lunch for her, your brain supplies for you.

Natasha returns from getting ready to see you standing in the kitchen with a glare on your tired face.

“What’d the peanut butter do to you this time,” she jokes.

“I can’t.” Tears well up in your eyes.

She comes up to wrap you in a hug from behind. She softly asks, “What can’t you do?”

“I can’t open the jar,” you mutter softly, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, love. Let me help,” she tells you delicately before kissing the spot under your ear. She can tell this is affecting you more than usual and wishes for nothing more than to be able to take away your distress.

You mutter a thank you before continuing to make her sandwich. You pack everything into a bag and write a small note to finish it off. You know Natasha loves the little messages you leave her periodically, and nothing will stop you from trying to make her as happy as you can.

Goodbyes are said as you both wander closer to the door. Natasha makes sure to hold you longer and tighter than usual. You don’t comment on that.

The silence that encompasses the room as soon as the love of your life leaves is suffocating. You can feel the exhaustion from purely getting up and getting ready creeping up on you. Logically, you know that you shouldn’t overexert yourself, but the shame is eating you up. Already on a roll, might as well keep on going, you think to yourself.

You go back to your mental to-do list and debate what to start with. The grocery store doesn’t sound terrible. Some sun would do you some good. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen the world that exists outside of your house.

Wandering back to the bedroom to get your phone and shoes, you try to push the fatigue from your mind. In your attempt to block out the tiredness, you fail to recognize the ever-present pain in your joints increasing. It’s only when you sit down and bend over to put your shoes on that you register the feeling. Your hips ache severely; so much so, that you can’t hold your position long enough to get your shoe on your foot.

This seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, seeing as you immediately burst into tears. The pain mixed with your inability to do basic, everyday activities completely overwhelms you as you break down.

There’s absolutely no chance that you’re going to complete this task, let alone all the other ones on your list. You let out a sigh as you stand up and shuffle to your room, phone and shoes forgotten in the living room.

You let the weight of your emotions crush you as you climb into bed and under the covers, your wife’s pillow clutched closely to your chest.

Your tears cease to stop, even as you succumb to the sleep you so desperately wished to hold onto this morning.

- - -

Natasha comes home to an eerily silent house. On any typical day, she would come home to the noise of your favorite show or music softly playing, whether it be from a speaker or from your guitar. Your shared house consistently was filled with life and sound. It was one of her favorite parts of her day; coming home to you in your own element, laughing or singing. You are her home.

This newfound silence has her exceptionally worried. Even on your bad days, there was at least a laugh track coming from the TV or the smell of hot chocolate coming from the kitchen. Now, there’s absolutely nothing. For a split second, Natasha thinks that you may never have come back from the grocery. Her heart rate spikes. The sight of your phone on the coffee table and your shoes strewn haphazardly on the floor puts those worries to rest.

“Darling?” she calls from the entryway. There is no response. She carefully removes her boots and coat before moving through every room in the house, calling out for you softly in each.

She makes her way to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door as she lets herself in. She sees the rise and fall of your chest and is filled with a sense of relief she didn't know she needed.

"Love? Are you awake?"

You grumble out an answer that could be understood as a 'yes'.

Natasha carefully sits down on the side of the bed that you are facing.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" she requests softly, in fear of upsetting the quiet environment of the bedroom and making things worse.

The tears that started up again when you wife called out the first time get even heavier somehow.

"Oh love, come here."

She carefully gathers you in her arms and rests your head on her chest.

"Does this have anything to do with the peanut butter jar this morning?"

You nod. One of your favorite things about your wife is her ability to observe and understand what you're going through.

"I just can't do anything today. Everything hurts and I'm so, so tired," you whisper, followed by a heartbreaking sob.

"It's okay love. Please don't cry," Natasha whispers back.

"But it's not! It's not okay!" You sit up from her chest to let out your rant. "You've done so much today and I could barely wake up. You work so hard and I should be able to do stuff around the house so you can come home and not have to worry about anything," you finish with a sigh.

Your wife puts her hand under your chin, forcing you to look in her direction. "Love, look at me. Believe me when I say that I don't care about the state of the laundry or if the pantry has been stocked. All I care about is you. All I want is for you to be okay. It's killing me that you feel like this and I can't do anything to take it away from you. What I can do, though, is tell you just how proud I am of you. You are the strongest person I know, and I work with the Avengers."

You giggled at that. Natasha smiles at your small second of happiness.

"Are you sure? Because I was going to get so much done today and I was trying to-"

Natasha cuts you off with a soft kiss.

"My love. Listen to me. All I care about is your health and happiness. If staying in bed and catching up on sleep is what you needed today, then that's all I expect from you. I never want you to hurt yourself trying to do more than you can. We all have limits. It’s okay to need a break some days. I love you and I am so very, very proud of you."

With a long look into her eyes, all you find is love and adoration directed towards you. There's no disgust or disappointment as you had anticipated.

"I love you too," you utter quietly.

Natasha smiles and leaves a long kiss on your forehead. "What if we got some pain killers and some food in you? We can even put on your favorite movie. Does that sound good?"

You nod. Natasha gets up to get you some medicine and to order some food, while you get your favorite movie loaded on the TV.

Later that night, when both your stomachs are full and your wife is obnoxiously singing along to the songs in the movie just to make you laugh, you realize just how loved you are.

You don't know how tomorrow will treat you, or the day after that. What you do know, however, is that Natasha will always be there to support and love you. Your pain level and ability to function is always an uncertainty, but your wife's love will never be.

- - -

A/N: as always, i try to keep it gender neutral. if you find a mistake, please let me know! feedback is appreciated! to all my chronic illness buddies out there: i love you, you've got this :)

taglist: @007giu

[transgothicgenre]

bleed out liveblogging

training montage: excellent as always. chorus is my favorite part mostly because the imagery of the other verses are discordant for me for some reason, but it still goes hard as fuck

mark on you: i think i actually only listened to this a few times before the album released and originally i only liked the chorus but the song as a whole is incredible. revenge songs my beloved

wage wars get rich die handsome: please release an instrumental/karaoke track of this one it goes so hard. it goes so hard even without the lyrics. i don't think i'm allowed to drive while listening to this one. the abrupt ending is so sexy tbh

extraction point: first new one yippee!!! i like how fast-paced it sounds especially juxtaposed with the calmness of the vocals. every time johnny boy mentions dreams in his lyrics that song gets +1 so this one is doing really great for me so far. loving the chorus. the vocals are quieter than the rest of the album has been so far which is throwing me off a little bit but i can vibe with it

bones don't rust: OH HOH HOH. the lyrics on this one immediately have me going ham. i didn't type anything else i was too busy listening to the song

first blood: reminds me of corsican mastiff stride. it's very upbeat and i'm grooving to it. there are a lot of references to things in this song that i don't understand but that's half of all tmg music so i'll just close my eyes and imagine what they mean and also check genius lyrics in a few days. "we worship nothing in the foxholes" reminds me of a poem! i will find it later

make you suffer: another revenge song let's fucking goooooo. i will have to listen a few times to figure out how to fit the second verse into the rest of the song but i understand on a subconscious level. AW YEAAAH another +1 for mentioning dreams. don't give up on revenge you always need to strive for it!!! adding this to the list of songs i'm not allowed to drive while listening to. oh my god the OUTRO. delicious

guys on every corner: why do you as a man have guys on every corner (original joke by yadriel(c) 2022). that aside the rhyming is really winning for me. big enjoyer of this song. it really reminds me of fight club which is a red flag if anyone else says it but don't worry guys i'm a weirdo. the last verse is decadent fuck yes

hostages: hey why is this one so long. ohhhh man it's good. i know each song in this album is telling the story of a mini action movie and whatnot but i think, excluding the fact that i haven't listened to the last 3 yet, that this one accomplishes that the best for the format. does that make sense? like the story it's telling is best told through a song and the song is the best vessel for telling the story. if i say it reminds me of die hard does bruce willis come out of the vents and kill me

need more bandages: oh DELIGHTFUL. i am already shouting the chorus while driving despite not being in a car at all. this one reminds me of tintin but like. the bad guys from tintin. y'know? i was really into tintin when i was younger. WHEN THE SHOVELS BREAK WE'VE STILL GOT OUR FINGERNAILS!!!!!! once again +1 for the dream. this one also reminds me of mad max fury road oddly enough. you're right mr goats we ARE going to need more bandages

incandescent ruins: i like the chorus. i have to admit i spent the majority of the time listening to this trying to parse the lyrics and their meaning. again this is one that i'll have to listen to a few times and get to know before i have more thoughts about it but it's very pleasant to listen to

bleed out: 30 seconds in and this is already . woagh. wow. he's gonna bleed out yknow? "every story needs a child...end up just like me" these lyrics are fucking insane. AND THE PAPER RUSTLING NOISES RIGHT AFTER? the g in mountain goats stands for genius. okay wow. this is already one of my top favorites from this album . once again it is 7 minutes long but i completely understand why it's 7 minutes long because it literally couldn't be not 7 minutes long. i love how the last song on albums always feels like a sledgehammer to the ribs. the mountain goats truly understand how to do it. the way jd's voice is cracking toward the end of the song is the cherry on top.

album thoughts as a whole: definitely going to convince my coworkers to play this tonight at work. pretty much all of the song titles are great and i'm a big fan. they really slayed!!!

[harleysarchive]

To Fall in Love | Charles Leclerc

Fandom: Formula one Warning: None, quite long around 4500 words, but I didn’t want it to end😂  Pairing: Charles Leclerc x f!reader, slightly Daniel Ricciardio x f!reader Summary: You and Charles are slowly falling in love with each other.

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A/N: prompts 22 and 23 from Screnwriters list . I had a bliss writing this, really pouring out my fangirl feelings for F1 at the moment. So sorry in advance for the mushiness. PLEASE correct my french sentences if I have written them wrong, it’s been ages since I studied it. 

You had just started to work for McLaren’s formula one team, and you were a personal assistant for Lando and Daniel. You really loved your job and the boys were amazing to work with, even after they had had a bad race. They loved you back equally as much. You and Lando had gotten very close during the different races, because he felt like he could vent out his feelings before or after a race to you without feeling judged. He needed that from time to time. 

Right now the biggest competition was Ferrari, because McLaren was currently ahead of them on the leaderboard. Which made the team, and you, extremely happy. It felt good to be ahead of such a great team. 

You were helping them before the race and went to get a bottle of water for Lando and Daniel. You were so focused that you didn’t look where you were going and you walked right into someone. 

“I’m so sorry.” you said and looked up to meet a pair of mesmerizing hazel eyes looking back at you.

“No worries at all.” he said and you instantly recognized him. It was Charles freaking Leclerc, one of the Ferrari drivers. Your eyes widened and you felt your cheeks turn red. 

“I did not see you and my mind was somewhere else a-and...” you rambled. He smiled, making his dimples visible for you and you felt your heart tug slightly.

“It’s fine, really.” 

He looked at you and you almost felt drawn in by his eyes. You didn’t want to break eye contact. But you quickly realized why you had gotten there in the first place and grabbed the water bottles and left Charles with a confused expression on his face. You hurried back to the garage and gave Lando and Daniel their water bottles.

“You look rather flustered (Y/N), what happened back there?” Daniel asked, which made your cheeks turn even more red.

“N-nothing.” you stuttered and tried to breath slowly through your nose to calm yourself down. It wasn’t even the first time that you had seen Charles, but it was the first time you had talked to him and been so close to him. But what you didn’t understand was, why did you react like a schoolgirl talking to her crush for the first time? 

Daniel gave you a look that said he did not believe what you were saying. You didn’t want to look at him to reveal even more of your flustered state and they didn’t have time to pry anyway because the race was soon about to start. 

You walked over to the room where they showed the game on a big screen and the camera glanced over the drivers and you felt your cheeks became flustered again when the camera passed number 16, Charles number. Then the race started. All of the McLaren team sat on the egde of their seats, hoping for a good race for Lando and Daniel.  

All of you were ecstatic over the fact that Lando landed on P3 and when the cars returned to the garage he ran up to you and hugged you tightly.

“P3!!”

“Can you believe it?” You screamed back with as much enthusiasm as he did when he came back from the race. 

“Not really.” he beamed with the biggest smile on his face. You were so proud of him.

“You are amazing, Lando.” you said and hugged him again. 

“What, no hugs for the P6 contestant?” Daniel asked when he had gotten out of his car.

“Of course.” you said and hugged him. He tightened the hug lightly just for you to notice and you made a mental note about it. Odd. He had never really asked about hugs before, why now all of a sudden? 

“You did great as well today, Daniel.” you said and smiled at him. He already had his signature smile on his face.

“Thank you, I did it because I knew you were watching.” he said winking at you and you just rolled your eyes.

“Now go you two. You stink.” 

Daniel just laughed and he and Lando left. Lando had to get ready for the podium and you got ready to join the team back there in just a few minutes. 

You stood by yourself outside the McLaren building and watched people go by, either talking to others or looking intensely into their phones. 

“Hello again.” you heard a voice say beside you and you turn around to see Charles stand there. Your eyes widened again, but more this time in surprise that he was here by the McLaren building and that he was speaking to you. 

“Hi.” you said, thankful that you could answer him without being a stuttering mess and you could feel your cheeks become red. 

“You left in such a hurry that I didn’t quite get your name.”

“Oh, it’s (Y/N).” 

“Well, nice to meet you (Y/N). I’m Charles.” he said and held out a hand for you to shake. 

“I know.” you said and shook his hand. But you wanted a hole in the ground to swallow you whole over that comment. Why did you have to tell him that you knew his name?

He just laughed, making his dimples visible again and your heart did that tugging thing again, what was up with that?

“You did great today, P4 is amazing.” you said, breaking eye contact with him to not get even more flustered than you already were. 

“Thank you, but I would’ve liked the P3 spot, but I’m happy for Lando.” 

“Yeah, he put up a good fight.”

You looked at Charles again and his eyes had been on you since he saw you standing here alone. He had felt weird after you had just left him in such a hurry before and he couldn’t quite figure out why. So, when he saw you again standing here by yourself, he had to at least know your name. Charles was just about to ask you something when you heard Lando call for you as he was on his way to the podium. You called back that you were on your way.

“Sorry, but I have to go.”

“No worries.”

And once again you left Charles in such a hurry and again he felt confused. But not the same confusion as before, now he was confused by his thoughts and feelings. His mind was asking him so many questions. Why hadn’t he noticed you before? How long have you been working for McLaren? What did you do for them? He wanted to know more about you. He felt like he almost needed to know more about you. 

You ran to the crowd of the McLaren team and you spotted Daniel waving at you to get over to him. You walked past some of the mechanics and stood next to Daniel.

“Hey, you.” He said and winked at you. 

“Hi.” you said smiling and ignored his wink. 

“You look flustered again, are you sure nothing is happening to you?” he asked again.

“I’m fine, but thanks for your concern Daniel.” 

The two of you cheered when Lando got up on the podium and you almost felt yourself tearing up when you saw how happy he was up there. He had worked so hard to get it and he honestly deserved it. You looked around in the cheering crowd and in the distance by the side of the podium you saw Charles again. He was looking directly at you. You smiled and waved at him, which caught Daniel’s attention so he followed your gaze and saw what it was you were looking at, or more whom. Charles had waved back at you with a small smile on his face.

“Ah now I understand why you have been so flustered all of a sudden.” Daniel smirked.

“Huh?”

“You have a crush on Charles, don’t ya?”

“No.” You said way too fast for it to sound believable. Daniel just gave you a knowing smile. You just rolled your eyes at him. 

“No, I don’t. The first time I accidently walked into him, when I was grabbing water for you and Lando. Which made me feel embarrassed because I walked into him and now we were just talking a bit.”

“And why were you flustered about talking to him?”

You couldn’t come up with an answer without feeling your cheeks burn again. Daniel laughed and pulled you closer to him and all you did was pout over his silliness. He glanced to the side to see if Charles was still looking at you. He was, which made Daniel feel a slight joy in his chest knowing that Charles had witnessed the move he just did.

Charles, on the other hand, had felt something sting inside of him when he saw Daniel bring you closer to him and he didn’t like it. He turned around and walked towards the Ferrari building, feeling quite grumpy and annoyed. 

Daniel felt a smirk grow on his face when he saw Charles leave and you were so close to him. Lando got down from the podium drenched in champagne and with a big smile plastered over his face. He hugged the team and they cheered for him. He kissed the trophy he had gotten and then turned to you and you knew exactly what he was gonna do.

“Noooo.” you said and tried to back away from him but you felt Daniel holding your wrists so you couldn’t move.

“Oh it’s coming love, just embrace the stickiness and smell of champagne and sweat.” Daniel said, trying his hardest to keep you still as Lando came closer.

“NooooOOOOO.” you shrieked as Daniel let you go so Lando could hug you. You felt champagne and sweat stick to your clothes and hair. 

“Ewwh. Not nice, not nice.”

“Now you know how we feel.” Lando joked with a grin on his face. 

“I could’ve lived my whole life without knowing how that felt and now I have to get changed.” 

You pushed Lando away and tried to look as angry as you could at the both of them. But that didn’t last very long, because you were too happy for Lando. 

“Hey, are you coming with us to dinner tonight?” Lando asked.

“What dinner?”

“It's a dinner for the drivers, the bosses, and some of the employees tonight, but I’m sure we can bring you with us. You are a part of the McLaren team.” Lando answered.

You bit your lip, thinking about this dinner. Maybe Charles will be there? You shook your head at the thought.

“So, that’s a no?” Lando said and you could hear the disappointment in his voice.  

“No, no. It is a yes.” you said and the two boys beamed with excitement.

“But you two are telling Zak that you are bringing me along tonight, while I go get something appropriate for tonight. What time is it?”

“It’s around seven but we leave the hotel at 6.30, so be ready before that.” Daniel answered.

“Good, I’ll see you after six.” you said and started to walk towards the parking lot to get a taxi to your hotel room. 

“(Y/N)!” 

You heard the familiar voice call for you but you didn’t quite believe it at first. Knowing your mind can play tricks on you. But when you felt a presence beside you, you turned around to see Charles stand there.

“Hey again.” he said with a smile on his face and he looked at your shirt. “What happened to you?”

“Lando, he likes to hug when it’s the least appropriate time for a hug. So now I smell of champagne and sweat.” 

Charles laughed and you felt a smile growing onto your face. His laugh made your heart tug again. 

“Are you heading back to the hotel?” he asked.

“I am, I need a shower and some new clothes.”

“I can drive you if you want.” 

“No need, she already has a driver.” you heard Daniel say behind you. He and Lando had just asked Zak for permission to bring you along tonight, which he thought was absolutely fine. You could see Charles' posture stiffen and his look hardened when he saw Daniel stand next to you. You felt a little uncomfortable by the situation.

“Okay, well I guess I see you around.” Charles said and left the two of you alone. You turned to Daniel.

“What was that all about?”

“What was what about?”

“You know what I mean Daniel.”

“Is it wrong of me to want to drive you to the hotel?” Daniel asked and unlocked his car. 

“No, but it feels like there is something else going on.” you said and jumped into the passenger seat. He started the car and you could hear the engine roar and the music started to play. 

“You just wanted to be driven by your crush.”

“I don’t have a crush on Charles.” you said and you started to wonder, why was Daniel being so overprotective of you all of a sudden? 

“Besides, I have to make sure that he doesn’t snatch you over to Ferrari. What would we do without you?” he said, looking at you, but you just rolled your eyes. But what you missed when doing so was the look Daniel gave you. He felt true worry that Charles would snatch you away from him, and Lando. 

The two of you talked as normal during the ride to the hotel and Daniel kept on cracking jokes to make you laugh. It was the best thing he knew, your laugh and your smile. It could make his shitty day turn around and he felt happy again. He parked by the hotel entrance and the two of you got out of the car and walked into the hotel and into the elevator.

“See you in the lobby in a while?” you asked when you got to your floor. 

“Sounds good.” he said and the two of you seperated. You hurried to your room to get ready. You were so nervous over this dinner that you could die, but you were so excited as well. Imagining yourself showing up there with all the important people, and hopefully Charles would be there as well. You opened the door to your hotel room and rushed into the shower. Then while your hair was drying you looked for an outfit and got yourself ready before the clock struck six. You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time and felt butterflies in your stomach when you remembered where you were heading. You put on your shoes and you were five minutes late.

Perfect, you thought and headed towards the lobby. You were also nervous for Lando and Daniel to see you all dressed up. They had only really seen you in your work outfit, casual wear, or some comfy outfits when you were traveling together, but this was a whole different story. The elevator door opened and you pressed for the lobby. 

Lando and Daniel were talking to each other when Lando’s eyes widened his eyes. His stare made Daniel wonder what was going on so he turned around and saw you coming from the elevator. You looked absolutely breathtaking and both of them just stood there with their mouths slightly open and eyes locked at you. 

“Hey guys” you said and you could feel their gaze on you. “How do I look?”

“Absolutely gorgeous, (Y/N).” Lando said and Daniel just nodded his head. You smiled at them. You talked for a while before it was time to leave.

“Shall we go.”

They smiled and you linked your arms with theirs and headed towards a taxi that waited for you. Zak was already waiting for you in the taxi. 

The ride over to the venue was pleasant, all four of you talked and joked together. When you arrived the waiter’s offered all of you a beverage of your choice. You looked around and all the drivers and bosses were there. You saw Max talking to Christian and Daniel soon joined them, Lewis and Toto discussing something not super serious because they were laughing, and Lando asked if it was okay from him to go talk to George.

“Of course.” you said and Lando walked over to the Williams driver. 

You let your eyes wander again and glanced over by the bar and you saw… your heart made a jump and butterflies were going nuts in your stomach… you saw Charles and Pierre joking with each other. He hadn’t noticed you yet, but you could see his dimples when he smiled over something Pierre said. You smiled to yourself, feeling the butterflies coming back. 

Pierre's eyes wandered around the room and locked eyes with you. You avoided his gaze, because he had caught you staring at them. You could feel yourself become flustered and focused on the drink in your hand.  

“Wow, she looks gorgeous.” he said which made Charles follow Pierre’s gaze. He almost choked on air when he saw you here and how beautiful you looked in your outfit. You felt eyes on you so you looked up to meet Charles' gaze. You smiled at him and gave him a little wave. Charles left Pierre by the bar and went straight to you. Pierre gave him a puzzled look but Charles didn’t care.

“Hey.” he said when he reached you.

“Hello again.”

“I didn’t know you would be here tonight.” 

“I wasn't, but Lando and Daniel invited me so here I am.”

You and Charles looked into each other's eyes, but broke off the stares when you heard the host announce everyone welcome and to enjoy the evening. Everyone clapped their hands and continued with their conversations as if nothing had happened.

“Do you want a drink?” Charles asked.

“I would love to.” you answered. You would be needing it to calm down your nerves. He placed his hand on your lower back to lead you towards the bar and Pierre, who was still standing there with a more amused look on his face now. You were very aware of where his hand was and his warmth felt so comforting. 

“(Y/N), this is Pierre. Pierre this is (Y/N).”

“Pleasure to meet you, (Y/N).” he said and shook your hand.

“The pleasure is all mine. You are an excellent driver.”

“Thank you very much.” Pierre smiled.

“So, what can I offer you to drink?” Charles interrupted, which made Pierre laugh. He hadn’t seen Charles act like this over someone before. 

“Champagne if you don’t mind.” 

“Not at all.”

“Vous êtes un connaisseur?” Pierre asked.  

“Well champagne is one of the few drinks that I enjoy and don’t get a nasty hangover from.” you answered.

“You speak french?” Charles asked as he handed you a glass of champagne. It tasted amazing and the bubbles went straight to your head, making you feel more confident.

“I studied it in school for five yeas but I can barely manage a conversation.” 

The two boys laughed at your statement. 

You continued to talk to Pierre and Charles for a while, explaining what you did for McLaren and they talked about themselves and racing - of course. Pierre heard someone call for him so he left you and Charles to yourself. He gave Charles a knowing look, which you didn’t notice but made Charles blush a bit.

“You look beautiful tonight.” he said, taking a sip from his drink. 

“Thank you, and you look great as well. But you always do.” 

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?! you screamed at your brain, luckily for you Charles just smiled and blushed a bit. 

“Thank you.” he said, trying his best not to blush even more. He looked at you, examining your face and features. Your eye color, hair color and smile. It made him feel warm inside and he couldn’t deny the butterflies going wild in his stomach. How your outfit fitted you perfectly and how lovely your personality was. He was used to people making themselves better or fake around him to impress him. But it hardly worked because their true colors always showed in the end, but you were genuine. He liked that a lot about you. Your eyes met and you could feel how you were moving closer to him, until you heard a voice calling for you.

“(Y/N)! Come over here.” Daniel called, which made you take a deep breath. Why did he have to interrupt right freaking now? Classic Daniel. 

“I’ll be there in a minute.” you answered back and turned your attention back to Charles. He had a disappointed look on his face and his smile was gone. 

“I’ll see you around, Charles.” you said, not sounding too happy to leave him.

“Of course.” he said, as you were about to leave he grabbed your hand. Which he realized he did and he didn’t intend to do that. His surprised expression over his action made his cheek turn bright.

“A-are you coming for next week's race?” he stuttered, not letting go of your hand. You rubbed your thumb over his hand, making him melt on the inside.

“Of course. I’ll be in the McLaren building.” you answered and let go of his hand. He felt a mix of happiness and jealousy over your answer. Happy that you would be there, but jealous over the fact that you worked for McLaren and not for Ferrari. He imagined how it would be if you worked for Ferrari so he didn’t notice Sebastian coming up to him.

“So, who is the lucky lady that has the Charles Leclerc weak in the knees?” he joked.

“(Y/N), she works for McLaren.” Charles confessed, there was no denying it anymore and not to Sebastian. Pierre joined them too.

“I knew that you had a thing for her after the look you gave her before. God, I thought you would drool all over the place.” Pierre said and Charles just pushed him on the arm and rolled his eyes. He watched you as you conversed with Daniel. He had introduced you to Max and the Redbull team and Daniel had one hand on your lower back.This caused Charles to feel that sting of jealousy again and his facial expression couldn’t hide it either. Pierre looked over to see why he looked like he had sucked on a lemon.

“Ah.” was all he could say, because he knew exactly what he was feeling. “Jealousy is a cruel emotion, mon ami.”

Charles just huffed and turned away to talk to Pierre and Sebastian. You were talking to Max about the race today.

“Congratulations on your victory today, you were fantastic.” you said to Max.

“Thank you so much. It felt amazing to win here in Italy.” Max said and took a sip from his drink. “When did you start working for Daniel and why didn’t you work for us on Redbull?”

“I started this winter actually, so I’m quite new to the formula one world, but it has been a great time so far and I really enjoy it.” you beamed making Daniel smile even more. You could feel him pull you closer and again you thought it was odd. Then the host announced that dinner was ready and the crowd started moving to the tables further away.

“Where do we sit?” you asked.

“I think you can sit wherever.” Daniel said and pulled out a chair for you. You thanked him and watched Lando come over to sit by your side.

“Not sitting with George?”

“Noo, I’m here with you remember, and I want to eat together with you.” he said and smiled at you as he sat down next to you. Max joined your table with Sergio Pérez. Conversation flowed throughout the evening and you and Max got along well. He cracked jokes and talked about embarrassing things Daniel had done when he was a Redbull racer, which made both you and Lando cry with laughter. You almost felt embarrassed over how hard you were laughing at Max’s jokes. Your eyes looked around to ensure that no one was looking at your table with annoyance, but no one seemed to care, except for one table. 

Charles sat two tables behind you and he could hear your laughter, which again made him feel jealous that it wasn’t him that made you laugh like that. When dinner was over Daniel and Max continued with their conversations at the table with Sergio. Lando excused himself to talk to George again and you wanted a drink.

“Excuse me for a second, gentlemen.” you said and made your way over to the bar, hoping that a certain someone would join you. 

“Can I have a glass of champagne please?” you asked the bartender and he poured you a glass and you thanked him. Once again Pierre noticed you standing alone and poked Charles with his foot under the table. Charles gave Pierre an annoyed look. Pierre made a gesture with his head for him to look over at the bar. Charles turned and saw you alone again, but he hesitated to go over to you. You locked eyes with Charles and you took a deep breath before heading his way.

“Is this seat taken?” you asked when you reached the table.

“Not at all.” Pierre said. You sat down next to Charles and opposite of Pierre. You started talking to the boys. Charles carefully put his arm around your chair and you felt your lips tug upwards over his gesture. Your chest filled with a warm feeling. As if the gods had heard your wishes, Esteban called for Pierre to talk. He excused himself to leave you and Charles alone. You turned so you were facing Charles fully.

“Are you enjoying the dinner?” you asked.

“More now honestly.” he said and you felt his thumb grace over your shoulder. The warm feeling in your chest grew even more. “But it’s been enjoyable to hang out with Pierre and the other drivers.”

“It’s so surreal to be here honestly. To see you all in the same place and not competing against each other.” 

“Well we try at least to be civil.” Charles joked and you smiled. His other hand was on the table and you laid your hand over his. He froze for a second over your action but then carefully took your hand in his and caressed it with his thumb. You went even further as to intertwine your fingers together. Charles pulled you closer with the arm resting on your shoulders and you followed. The gap between the two of you closed slowly, but as if on queue to destroy your moment, Lando called for you that it was time to leave. You felt your heart break slightly over the fact that the evening was coming to an end. You turned around to tell him that you were on your way.

“Unfortunately I have to leave.” you said sadly, meeting his eyes. Your eyes were flickering between Charles eyes and his lips, that were so close to yours. 

“But I will see you next week in Portugal, yeah?” You tried to hide the sadness in your voice as best as you could. Charles didn’t want the evening to end either but his team was also on it’s way to leave.

“Of course you will.” he said and kissed the back of your hand. You just stared in shock over his actions and your mind couldn’t comprehend what just happened or anything that just had happened. You rose from the chair with a last goodbye and walked back to Lando. You could still Charles warm lips on the back of your hand, giving you almost a burning sensation that you didn’t want to fade. 

“So you don’t have a crush on Charles, eh?” he said and nudged your side.

“No.” you said and stole one last look at him before you left. He was still watching you and it made you blush. You smiled back at him and then turned to Lando.

“Yeah, whatever you say.” Lando said again grinning like a child and the two of you left the venue. Knowing Lando you would not hear the end of this. Pierre came back to talk to Charles one last time.

“Are you in love, my friend?”

Charles let out a deep sigh and looked down at the ground with rosy cheeks, smiling like a fool. He would repeat this evening in his mind the whole week until the next time he would see you again. He knew it.

“Oui.”

But next time his mission was to get a proper kiss from you. 

A/N: Thank you for reading if you made it all the way through! 🥰

[stardusttkachuk]

Santa’s Workshop

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: fluff, swearing,

Summary: JJ picks up a holiday job, working as one of Santa’s elves. He doesn’t expect to meet another elf there, but isn’t disappointed in who he’ll be working with all season.

A/N: This is day 1 of starduststarkey’s 12 days of Christmas. Find other fics in my masterlist

Wanna be tagged? click here!

“You look fucking ridiculous,” John B says as JJ stands in front of the broken full length mirror that JB picked up from a junkyard.

“At least I have a job, asshat.” He fixes his hat on his head, grimacing at the way the tights hug his body. He’s uncomfortable in every place imaginable and is already dreading the 5 hour shift.

“Maybe if you’re a good elf, Santa will bring you a girlfriend this year!” Pope teases.

“You better shut the fuck up before this elf beats you to a pulp,” JJ threatens, fists raised.

Pope laughs. “I don’t think elves are supposed to be getting in fist fights.”

JJ huffs and rolls his eyes. Pope is right. He can’t show up to this job covered in bruises, that would scare the kids even more than he probably already will.

“Will you please drive me?” He asks John B. 

“Maybe you should ask Santa for a car,” John B says, grabbing the keys to the Twinkie.

“Why do you think I even took this job in the first place? Please. I don’t want to be seen in public like this.”

You set your bag in the provided cubby, checking your phone one last time before your scheduled session. When you had signed up to be one of Santa’s elves at the local mall, you were ecstatic. You and your best friend had been doing this for the last two years. But this year, your best friend ditched you for the hot chocolate stand. Really she ditched you for the cute girl who worked at the hot chocolate stand, and now you were stuck working with some kid named JJ Maybank. You crossed your fingers in hopes that he wasn’t some loser like the guy they hired last season.

“Santa arrives in 10 minutes! You better be out there in 5!” Natasha, the showrunner of Santa’s Workshop yells through the improvised locker and changing room. “Where’s your other elf?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. He hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Well when he gets here tell him he’s a dead man if he isn’t here 15 minutes prior to his shift.” She storms out, clipboard in hand. 

The first day is always one of the craziest. Things don’t settle down until a few weeks in. And by the time they do settle down, it’s already the week before Christmas and they get crazy again. 

“Hi. I’m JJ Maybank. I think this is where I’m supposed to be?” You hear someone say, likely talking to the nutcracker that’s posted outside the green room.

“In there. Find Y/N. You’ll know it’s her because she’ll be dressed just like you.”

You roll your eyes. At least he showed up. Ten minutes late but he did make it.

He passes through the curtains, blonde hair a mess under his elf hat. You’ll have to remind him to brush it before he arrives. You have an extra brush in your bag, but you know you won’t have time to make it look perfect.

He spies you easily, strutting towards you. “I’m JJ. Are you Y/N?” 

“That’s me. You’re late, by the way.”

JJ looks at his watch, eyes wide and mouth agape. “I’m five minutes early! That’s the earliest I’ve been for any job!”

“Natasha’s rules state all workshop employees must be present 15 minutes prior to their shift.”

JJ rolls his eyes. “It’s only ten minutes.”

“And if it happens again, you’re a dead man. So you better be here 15 minutes early next time.”

“Okay but why 15? Aren’t we just sitting around those 15 minutes until our shift starts?”

“It’s for costume malfunctions. Like your hair. It needs to be brushed. If you had been here 10 minutes earlier, maybe we would’ve had time to brush it and make it look better.”

“My hair looks fine,” JJ grumbles, though he does attempt to smooth down the ends with his hands. 

You lead him over to the cubby next to yours, gesturing to it. “Put your stuff in here. And that includes your phone.”

JJ places both his phone and wallet into the cubby. He then takes his jacket off and puts it on top of the two valuable items.

“No one is going to steal your stuff, if you’re worried about that. This place is heavily monitored,” you say. “And no one but Santa’s crew is allowed back here anyway.”

JJ is about to speak when an elderly woman with white hair tucked under her hat enters the room. “Looks like Mrs. Claus has arrived,” he jokes.

“That’s Natasha.” You grab JJ’s hand, pulling him out to Santa’s corner before Natasha has a chance to yell at him for his tardiness.

“So what exactly do we do?” JJ whispers, eyeing the line of children and their parents that seems to wrap around the entire display.

“We help the kids from their parents to Santa’s lap and then back out to their parents again. And don’t forget the candy cane before they leave.”

JJ grimaces. “You mean we have to interact with the kids?”

“Yes. Now smile and act like an elf,” you say.

“How do- ohf!” JJ grunts as you elbow him and immediately reach forward for the hand of a little girl.

“Hi! I’m elf Y/N! And this is my friend elf JJ! What’s your name?” You ask in a high pitched voice. 

“I’m Sophie,” she beams. She grasps onto JJ’s hand and you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the face he makes. It’s clear he isn’t a fan of kids and you can’t wait to watch him interact with them for the next 30 days.

JJ pulls his booties on over the tights, chuckling to himself as the bells jingle. They jingle every time he walks. He’s grown so used to the sound now though. He’s grown used to looking absolutely ridiculous in his costume. He’s even grown used to the kids, which he thought was impossible.

But the way Y/N smiles when he coos at a baby or holds onto a preschoolers hand has helped him get over his dislike of the kids. He’d do just about anything to see her smile.

“Ready?” John B asks from the doorway, keys looped around his finger.

“Actually a friend is picking me up,” JJ says, grabbing his phone and wallet.

“What friend? You don’t have any friends besides us.”

“Well that’s very rude of you to think. I have plenty of friends. And her name is Y/N. We work together.”

“Work together or sleep together? Or both. Do you guys like, get it on in the costumes?”

“Ew, no,” JJ scoffs.

“Okay, you know elves is somebody's kink,” John B adds, shuddering as he does.

“I didn’t want to know that. I don’t want to think about that.”

“Okay but Y/N… you like her.”

“No. We’re just friends. We’re coworkers. We work the same shift and she offered to give me a ride, okay? Now can you make yourself disappear before she gets here? I don’t want her seeing your face.”

John B pouts. “Why not? I have a very likable face.”

“Just… please?” JJ asks, but it’s too late. 

The beat up Ford truck pulls up in front of the house. JJ knows it’s hers. On days when they work late and it’s dark outside by the time they leave, he walks her to her car. They once spent two extra hours after work sitting in her car and talking. She even gave him a ride home once, but he made her drop him off down the street. It was too risky for her to pull up to his actual house, especially if his dad was home. 

JJ knows John B is in the doorway when he exits the house. He watches as Y/N waves, a courteous smile on her face. JJ walks to the passenger side, hearing the familiar squeak of the old door.

“Who’s that?”

“John B. He’s my best friend.”

“He’s dating Sarah Cameron right?” she asks.

“Yeah. You know Sarah?”

“Everyone on this island knows Sarah,” Y/N laughs. JJ knows she’s not wrong. Everyone did know the Cameron's, especially after the huge scandal that went down last summer. People don’t typically forget about a murder and stealing of millions of dollars worth in gold.

“Right,” JJ laughs nervously. 

You tear your elf hat off as soon as you reach your truck. Today was a hard shift. Multiple crying kids, lines that wrapped all around the mall, parents who didn’t understand the concept of patience and waiting, and then there was the kid that peed on Santa Claus and made everyone wait even longer while Santa went to change. It was a nightmare. 

If it wasn’t for JJ, today would’ve been the day you quit.

But he insisted on stopping for dinner before you dropped him off, so here you were, sitting at a booth across from him, the both of you still clad in your elf costumes.

You probably looked ridiculous but you didn’t care. JJ was your sole focus tonight. He let you vent to him about the craziness of the day and when you weren’t talking he was telling you about the funniest wishes he had overheard while on candy cane duty. 

“All their missing socks?” You laugh, hand covering your mouth.

JJ nods, laughing harder. “He-He couldn’t understand why the dryer monster needed his socks more than him. He even asked if-if monsters were on the naughty list!” JJ bursts out laughing, as do you. If there was one thing that could cheer you up, it was this.

“Kids got a point,” you giggle. “Why does the dryer monster only take one sock and not both? Do you think he only has one leg?”

JJ nods, his smile wide. “Yeah, instead of one eye he’s got one leg.”

Your laughs die down slowly, but you can’t wipe the smile off your face. The smile that was forced all throughout the day was now a real one.

“I’ve missed that smile,” JJ says, reaching his hand across the table.

You blush but take his hand without hesitation, lacing your fingers through his.

JJ nervously clears his throat. “Do you think when this is all over, I can take you on an actual date?”

You’re not sure your smile could get any wider. “I’d like that.”

You both stare at each other for a while longer, before JJ can’t wait anymore. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he says, leaning over the table.

“I’d like that too,” you respond, meeting him halfway.

Tags: @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @serpentbaby @etoilesnoor @k-k0129 @maybanksbaby @talksoprettyjjx @canibeoneofthepogues @multifixx  @theonetheonlyalexbrown @glux64 @shy-1234 @sleepyhollands @cognacdelights @ilovejjmaybank @blueeyedbesson @cheshirecat107 @myrandom-fandomlife @makebank @ifilwtmfc @obxmxybxnk  @kookkyra @rafej-cambanks @blindedbypeaky @ahiae @repostcentral @midnightzonzz @blxndeprincess @dracosbbygorl @itsagurl @Poguesinablanket @amandaburris @tovvaa @sunnsettee

[knchins]

Bad Day - Shinsou H.

Summary: Shinsou can always sense when you're having a bad day. Good thing he knows exactly how to cheer you up.

Pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi x Fem!Reader

Rating: E

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: AGED UP CHARACTERS, c*nnilingus/oral, v*ginal fingering/s3x, consensual quirk usage/mind control, squirting, comfort (w/o hurt), pet names, some praise k!nk, fluffy ending

Notes: This was for a request but I realize now the person is no longer following me. Probably should have checked that before writing this lmfao. Oh well, it happens and no hard feelings. I hope everyone enjoys this piece anyway.

 Hitoshi could always sense when you were having a bad day, even as he did surveillance around the beat that the agency had assigned him to that day. It was a nagging little voice in the back of his head telling him that something was wrong with his girl. Maybe you were stressed about work or got some bad news. Whatever it was, the profound bond between the two of you had him already knowing the best ways to cheer you up after he clocked out for the day.

 When he got home, he found you moping on the couch. He couldn’t help but smile at just how well he knew you. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

 You mumbled something inherently into the cushions of the couch, a mistake as he immediately used his quirk to have you sitting up. “You should really use your words, kitten.” He joked as he released you from his hold.

 You pouted at him softly, “Bad day.” You mumbled, “I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of the week.”

 He tutted as he kicked off his boots, “Can’t have you doing that now, can we?” His eyes locked in on you, looking like a wildcat that had just found his prey. “Want me to make you feel better?”

 The open invitation had you squirming already. You knew what he was asking for: further consent to give him control over your body. Of course sometimes things in the bedroom could be tricky when he used his quick. You couldn’t use a safe word or motion when he had control over your body, but that just meant that he had to keep your trust. Despite putting yourself in a situation that could potentially be dangerous with anyone else, a villain perhaps, you knew that you were completely safe in Shinsou’s care. Sometimes not having control over yourself was the best type of relief.

 “Yes, please,” You replied with a grateful look on your face as he once more overcame your mind with his quirk. Shinsou had you stand and walk into the bedroom as he followed with a satisfied smile on his face. He had you undress before laying down on your back.

 He peeled off his shirt and tugged down his pants so he was left in boxer briefs before settling between your legs. He looked up at you, again looking like a predator ready to pounce.

 He placed tender kisses on your inner left thigh as he forced you to watch him work. Your legs spread as far as they’d possibly go for him, putting your pussy on display for him. Despite all the things he could do with his quirk, making you aroused was not one of them. He had to do that naturally, which he didn’t mind at all. Warming you up was the best part of sex for him. It always had been.

 Now as he took two fingers to spread your labia apart, you could feel the subtle heat growing. The need for his touch, be it his fingers or his tongue. Anything against your clit right now would be heaven. Shinsou seemed to know this as he blew onto the nerve bundle to elicit a reaction.

 You only realized that he had released his hold on you when you were able to whine with need. Your hand went to the back of his head of unruly purple hair and forced his mouth to your lips, grinding on his face desperately as he chuckled into your folds.

 Of course, he could have easily punished you for doing such a dirty thing but he knew better than to be mean to you right now. Using his superior strength he lifted his head away from you, nose and chin dabbled with evidence of your arousal now. “And here I thought you could behave, Kitten. Are you ready to listen?”

 Another pout formed on your lips as you mumbled a response, “yes…” As soon as the words left your lips you were anchored to the bed again, but he did not have you move your hand. Instead he had you press his face back into you once more as he lapped at your neglected clit, rolling it with tongue and sucking on it hard enough to make tears spring to your eyes.

 Despite having control over you, he didn’t want you to simply just lay there. He enjoyed you being an active participant, even if he was the one making you do it. He had your hips rolling against him, nails digging into his scalp, and when he granted you the use of your mouth and vocal chords he had you moaning for him too.

 Shinsou easily slipped in two fingers into your hole, pumping them in and out at a feverish pace. He built a solid rhythm between the use of his body and yours. That tight coil of pleasure quickly wound itself in your lower belly, pressure building before finally releasing in one orgasmic rush of euphoria.

 He worked you through the high with kitten licks and gentle thrusts of his fingers until you were breathing at an even rate again. He pulled away from you long enough to take off his underwear and sit down on the bed with his back to the headboard. He then had you move to straddle him, hand on his shoulders for support as you hovered over his standing erection.

 His hands ran up and down your sides playfully, knowing fully well that you wanted nothing more than to be seated down on top of him with his cock bottomed out inside of you, but he held you there in place with a triumphant smirk on his face. “You still want me to have control, baby?” He asked, once again letting you go.

 Instead of answering you forced yourself downwards, allowing his tip to slip into your pussy at last. Shinsou was laughing at your impatience, giving a shallow thrust upwards as you sank down further. Your eyes rolled, head tilted back as your hips rocked slowly. “I’ll take that as a no.” He said, grabbing onto your hips to keep them steady as he began to pound up into you, knowing the exact pace that had you crying for more.

 “Hi-Hitoshi,” you moaned for him, the sound music to his ears. Your nails were digging into the flesh of his muscular shoulders, creating small half-moons. The small biting pain of your grip just spurring him on.

 “Look how good you’re taking my cock, kitten.” He cooed into your ear. “You’re just the perfect little cocksleeve, aren’t you? I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.”

 He adjusted his position, pushing you back onto your back as he moved forward on top of you, never ceasing his rhythm as he forced your knees back onto the bed, forcing you into a mating press. The new angle allowed his cock to brush against that special spot inside of you, stimulating it relentlessly.

 You cried out for him, toes curling as in increased his pace. Shinsou grunted, driving into you even harder as he felt himself nearing his climax. He looked down at you, “Do you trust me, kitten?”

 “Y-yes,” You choked out, allowing him to wash over your mind as everything seemed to just go numb. Your body was like a rag-doll, moving without any sort of restraint. He pressed his thumb to your engorged clit, rubbing a few small tight circles as he forced an orgasm upon you through both his quirk and his ministrations.

 A clear stream of ejaculate sprayed both of you, coating your lower abdomens as you continued to come undone. Your second orgasm was much more powerful than your first, your walls tightening around Shinsou’s cock in a way that had him cumming as well. Your cunt milked him for all he was worth as he panted and released your mind once more.

 “Do you feel better now, princess?” He asked as he pulled out of you and rested your legs down on the now soaked bed. You nodded your head, mind still fuzzy from the afterglow of such a powerful orgasm. “I’m gonna run a bath for you before cleaning this up, okay? Just lay here and rest for a moment.”

 Shinsou got off of the bed and went into the bathroom, running a hot bath with bubbles before helping you inside the tub. You sank down into the inviting water, closing your eyes and letting out a sigh of relief. “Can you join me?”

 He looked taken aback, not expecting you to be so in need of his touch still. Sometimes you preferred to be left alone in the bath, but on the rare occasion you did want company. He grinned, “Let me take care of the sheets first.”

 You nodded and waited a few minutes as he gathered the soiled sheets and threw them into the washing machine. He then came back into the bathroom and slid in behind you, pulling you to his chest and resting his head on top of yours. “Are you going to tell me what had you so down earlier?” He asked one you were both finally settled.

 You told him about the awful day you had, where everything just seemed to go wrong. He listened thoughtfully, never interrupting. He simply let you vent out your frustrations until there was nothing left to say. “Well, tomorrow is a new day.” He said, kissing the crown of your head. “I’m sure it’ll turn out better. Just stay in the moment with me. We can watch a movie or something and pass out on the couch together.”

 “I love you, Hitoshi.” You mumbled appreciatively. He always knew how to cheer you up.

 He nuzzled his nose into your hair as he laughed softly, “I love you too, kitten.”

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[messrmoonyy]

22 please with remadora

Prompt from this list. Sorry this took so damn long. Just a shirt little something to get me back in the flow of Remadora after my motivation to write for them dried up.

Prompt: Listening to them while they vent.

Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora tonks

Warnings: language

“ I swear to shit I am going to ring that bastards neck the next time I see him! And that stupid fucking undersecretary too! “ Remus blinked a few times in mild shock as he paused in the middle of writing his report at the desk in the library. There was the mild sound of someone stomping around too. Language that colourful could only come from one persons mouth, said person appearing in the library moments later.

She pushed the door open so harshly he was surprised it stayed on the hinges, then again questioning how it even stayed standing when she slammed it shut just as rough.

Her face was flushed with anger, her hair a similar shade. It looked almost pulsating as it shifted between a few varying shades of red.

“ good morning Nymphadora “ he tried, placing his quill down and chancing a slight glance at her. He half expected her to yell at him, but then again she had seemingly sought him out. She looked over at him and shrugged off her auror robes, tossing them to the sofa and flopping down.

“ mornin Remus “ she mumbled, her anger seemingly simmering ever so slightly. He talked his quill a little awkwardly against his parchment, unsure of what to say. He got the feeling she had a lot to get off her chest. But also didn’t want to risk making her even angrier by bringing whatever it was up. But she knew he often hid away in the library, that no one bothered him there. So she had gone there with intention. So he just hit the bullet.

“ bad day at work I assume “ she scoffed at that and pulled at a thread on the sofa

“ the bloody worst “ he placed his quill down and turned to face her more, clasping his hands in his lap.

“ would you like to talk about it? I’m a very good listener “ his heart fluttered slightly as she seemed to crack a small smile

“ no you’re just too polite to interrupt. There’s a difference “ he didn’t get chance to answer her remark though, as she suddenly dived into a fully animated story of her day at work. And just how awful it had been. Her ranting was a little jumbled, her annoyance clearing messing with her train of thought and she diverted off the main topic multiple times before looking back around. He simply sat and let her get it off her chest. He didn’t understand a lot of what she was saying, names of ministry workers and various points that he was certain she shouldn’t actually be telling him. But he still listened.

By the end she actually looked quite exhausted, clearly her tangent and her flailing arms to elaborate her points had turned out. All that paired with the awful work day of course.

“ so now you see? Hmm? “ he blinked a few times before nodding.

“ I think I caught the general gist. The minister is a knob, as is umbridge. The other Aurors are as smart as a half dead flobberworm. And you lost one of your favourite gloves “

“ yeah that’s about right “

“ great “ the smile was back on her face again and he mused that he much preferred it to her angry scowls “ anything I can do to make you feel any better? “ she wiggled her eyebrows at him suggestively then, his face blushing a burning red in response which simply made her laugh. And he lost all case for his embarrassment, because at least she was happy again “ I’m joking. A hug’d be nice though “

He was out of his chair without a second thought and joining her on the sofa. He raised an arm and she snuggled up into him, his arm holding her gently and pulling her close.

“ see, better already “ she said, slightly muffled by her face half buried into his cardigan. She took a deep sigh and wiggled again to get comfy before going still “ thank you for listening to me. I know you were busy and I know I waffle on a bit sometimes. But I feel bad dumping it onto Sirius sometimes, he’s so moody just lately “

“ it’s fine. I’m happy to listen whenever you need” he felt her smile against him and he pressed a light kiss to the top of her head.

[sweeethinny]

#4 in fluff in the prompt list for hinny :D

Thank you anon! i hope you like it! <3

just because I LOVE Harry being a teenager completely in love with Ginny and please, let's ignore their true ages and say that either Harry is younger, or Ginny older, or even being a year apart they have some classes together. Imagine what you want.

#4  “I actually wanted to get your number…”

PROMPT LIST 

-----------------

She was so beautiful.

Harry couldn't even concentrate on the class with her nearby, sitting just two chairs in front of him and his right, holding her face with her left hand and looking completely bored with the subject that Professor Beans was talking about.

Her hair was falling to the side like lava from a volcano, shining against the sunlight that came in through the windows and looking golden in some parts, and in others, orange and red. Her freckles were the most beautiful thing in the world, spread across her pink cheeks, arms and some even went down her chest and disappeared into the neckline of her white T-shirt. And the eyes… oh, those caramel and chocolate eyes, always so shiny that Harry sometimes thought they might be precious stones.

She was gorgeous.

Ginny started to write something at the bottom of the notebook sheet, her delicate, ringed hand drumming beside the notebook, looking anxious to get the message out soon. Then, tearing the paper, she crumpled it and passed it to Luna, a few chairs in front.

Harry saw her bite her lips with laughter when the blonde got scared of the paper hitting the back of her neck, and he thought there was nothing more beautiful than her laughing ... Ginny was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Luna wrote back and hurled it at her, Beans didn't even notice the movement, with his back to the class writing something on the board, oblivious to all the students dying of boredom. Ginny laughed softly, and before Harry could predict it, she looked over her shoulder at him, still laughing.

His cheeks caught fire! He caught fire! Ginny had caught him staring at her like a complete lunatic! She would realize that he was in love with her since they were in kindergarten and she cut Pansy's hair because the girl stole her doll.

She was going to punch him in the face!

Harry quickly turned to the History notebook in front of him, feeling like a total idiot, and started writing down everything Beans was saying, not wanting to look up at all.

His sister had already said that girls hate to be stared at, and now, Ginny would hate him! And he didn't even have a chance to ask her to the Ball... Who does he want to fool? He would die before he managed to call her to the Ball without being completely embarrassed and humiliating himself in front of her.

Ginny was so beautiful. And so kind. Harry knew that she would not humiliate him, she would pull him aside and politely say that she already had another partner. A huge player from the last year who would crush Harry without he even knowing where the first punch came from.

He should try his luck with Susan.

When class was finally over, Harry ran out of the room like a little girl in a panic, throwing books in the school locker anyway and entering the cafeteria that was already filled with conversation and people everywhere, and sitting as far away from all possible.

He just wanted to be alone, listen to his music and beat himself up for being a passionate idiot who keeps staring at women like crazy.

Maybe he would die alone, after all. Alone and virgin.

‘’Hey there’’ The voice startled him, making him almost drop his cell phone and the piece of pie his mother had made for him.

Ginny Weasley was in front of him ... Ginny Weasley.

''Erm… hi.'' Harry said, a little nervous about her presence - little is an understatement - and trying to look behind her and see if any of her popular friends were filming it or laughing at the situation, but the cafeteria was in your normal mess.

‘’Can I sit down?’’ She smiled at him, not showing her teeth, but still a lovely smile that made his stomach churn.

‘’Sure, sure.’’ He fixed his glasses on his face and ran his hand through his hair, even though he knew he wouldn’t change in the usual messy look. He needed to vent that anxiety.

‘’So… Harry, right?’’ Ginny sat down, her hair flaming behind her shoulders, and those sweet eyes seeming to analyze every move he made.

''Yes. Myself.’’ Harry wanted to roll his eyes at himself. ‘’Ginny?’’ He tried, not wanting to look like he was crazier than before.

‘’That's what they say.’’ She smiled, this time showing her teeth. ‘’Look, I could come here and make up some shitty talk..’’ It was now, Harry thought, she would dump him. Harry was ready to just stick his head in a hole and never leave. ‘’But, I don’t like to mess around.’’ She crossed her arms over the table, never taking her eyes off him. ‘’I actually wanted to get your number… and know if you want to be my date at the ball.’’

The world stopped.

It was a joke, right? Ginny Weasley, the most beautiful girl... was she really looking for his number? And calling him to the Ball?!

‘’Er…’’ Harry froze, completely lost and not knowing what to say, staring at the girl in front of him who looked much more confident than he thought someone was capable of at 14.

‘’I think you’re beautiful, and I saw how you’re looking at me ... so?’’

Answer her! Answer!!!

‘’It would be… perfect.’’ He could barely think straight and articulate the words.

''Great. You can write your number here.’’ Ginny reached out a handful of rings and put her palm up. ‘’I have a pen.’’ She showed in her other hand, which she was holding a black pen that Harry hadn’t even noticed existed.

‘’Ok.’’ Harry tried not to shake too much while writing the numbers on her soft hand. ‘’Er… sorry to stare at you .. I don’t usually stare at anyone, I respect people, but today, I don’t know, today-- ’’

‘’ --Harry, I’m also staring at you. Nothing to worry about.’’ She took her hand away when he was done, smiling from ear to ear.

‘’This is not a joke… is it?’’ Ginny couldn’t be so mean, could she?

‘’No!’’ She made a face, raising her eyebrow then and approaching him as if to tell a secret. ''I was waiting for you to take the first step, but I hate to wait.'' Ginny blinked, causing all of Harry's organs to fall out of place. ‘’So… how’s your day going?’’ She asked, as if she hadn’t finished rock his world completely. As if she were not the most beautiful girl and had just asked him out.

Ginny Weasley was beautiful and would end with his life. Without a doubt.

''Fucking great. And yours?’’ Harry replied. ‘’Would you like some pie?’’

He couldn't care less.

[ayanna-wild]

A Night To Remember

Word Count: 1888

Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, mostly fluff

A/N: Request from @timea134-blog , Requests and Tag Lists are open.

Summary: It'd started as the ramblings of a near drunken conversation. You hadn't expected anything to come of it, but he insisted, promising you a night of fun. You agreed not expecting anything but a simple dinner between friends, but when the night ended and he asked again, you couldn't help but agree, promising to say yes, everytime he asked.

..................................................................................

You dropped your coat onto the ground with little regard as you stepped from the elevator. If you noticed the man standing in the living room, watching you curiously, you didn't say. Instead, you made your way straight to the bar, choosing your poison and pouring yourself a generous amount into one of the crystal glasses.

"Rough night darling?" 

His voice was laced with amusement, which only served to irritate you more, but it wasn't his fault.

"I thought you had a date tonight, don't tell me it ended already?" 

You looked over at the devil, giving him a tight smile.

"It never started."

You took a long drink, relishing in the burn it gave you. Lucifer furrowed his eyebrows when he heard that, walking over to you.

"Pardon?"

You laughed bitterly, setting the now empty cup down a little rougher then necessary.

"I got stood up, forgotten, played, need me to elaborate anymore?" 

Lucifer watched you grab the bottle to pour yourself another glass.

"No, I think that's clear enough." He frowned.

You took a smaller sip this time, humming a little as you swallowed.

"It's funny, that wasn't even my worse date! If anything, it was one of the better ones."

You grabbed the bottle making your way to the couch. Lucifer watched you as you sunk onto the couch with a dejected sigh.

"I've been stood up, bailed on, left to pay for everything, asked for a loan, used to make an ex jealous, and my favorite of them all, called me 'dude' and suggested we 'hang out' again, strictly as friends."

Lucifer walked over to you as you kicked your shoes off.

"Oh come now darling, surely you've had at least one successful date?"

You tucked you feet under yourself, laughing without any humor as you leaned back.

"There was this one guy, he was sweet, very gentlemanly, it was actually going pretty good."

He sat down beside you, smiling a little.

"See, it's not all bad."

"You're right, that date was wonderful... until his wife showed up. I guess he forgot to mention he was married on his profile." You gave him a rather cynical smile.

Lucifer's smile faded.

"Oh."

You shrugged a little, staring up at the ceiling. Lucifer watched with sympathy as you sat there, clutching the cup in your hand. You didn't say anything for a while, and he wasn't sure what to say to help.

"I guess that's it then."

"Come again?" He raised an eyebrow.

You didn't sit up, but did turn your head to look at him.

"I told myself if this one was a bust then I'd just take myself out of the dating game." 

"Now let's not be too hasty, you-"

"Hasty? Lucifer that was my tenth unsuccessful date, in a row."

He watched you down the rest of your glass before pouring yourself a third.

"You've just got to be positive love, there's someone out there who will truly appreciate you for the wonderful person you are."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at his attempt to cheer you up.

"That's easy for you to say, all you have to do is smile at a girl, and her panties drop."

Lucifer sputtered at your unfiltered remark, seemingly choking on the air around him. He swiftly grabbed the cup from your hand when you raised it to your lips.

"I think you've had enough."

You pouted a little but didn't argue with him as you sank back into the couch. Lucifer stared at you a moment, as if thinking of how to word what he wanted to say next.

"Would you like to accompany me to dinner tomorrow evening?"

You glanced at him, shaking your head.

"I was just venting Luci, you don't need to go on a pity date with me."

You went to stand up, but he placed a hand on your knee, giving you that charming smile that always got him his way.

"It's not pity my dear, I'd very much like to take you out for an evening." He assured you.

"As friends?" 

Lucifer laughed a little, shaking his head.

"No, this isn't a friendly gathering darling, it's a date." 

You hesitated to answer, your eyes searching his for any sign of regret or uncertainty. You wanted to make sure he wasn't doing this just because he felt bad for you, because he was your friend, and he felt obligated to. His eyes held nothing but certainty, and he looked almost hopeful that would agree.

"Okay, what time?"

His smile grew, and you found yourself smiling back with equal glee.

~

You paced your living room, dressed in your best clothes and nervously holding your phone in a vice like grip. Lucifer's contact displayed on the screen, and you battled between going and sending him an excuse to miss. It wasn't that you weren't excited, quite the opposite. Yet, the anxiety of it all made you want to stay home. 

Would this change everything between the two of you?

Would this ruin your friendship, or even your entire relationship with him?

You didn't have time to talk yourself out of it anymore, the sound of a car honking outside your home spiking your anxiety. It was too late to back out now.

You took a deep breath before opening your front door. Lucifer stood by his Corvette, dressed in a more formal suit than what he normally wore. You suddenly felt very undressed and began to wish you'd at least wore a dress. Lucifer, however, was staring at you in almost a stunned silence.

"I can change, I think I'm under dressed for whatever it is you have planned." You spoke softly as you took a step back towards your door.

"Nonsense, you look... heavenly." 

Your shoulders dropped a little as you felt the tension leave your body, a smile pulled at the corners of your mouth. Lucifer cleared his throat, looking away from you with an almost bashful expression when he realized he had practically been drooling over you. He opened the car door for you.

"Shall we?"

You smirked as you stepped into the car, Lucifer closed the door once you were in, moving to the driver's side.

"Such a gentleman." You teased.

He smirked, taking your hand giving it a kiss. You laughed, lightly hitting his arm making him chuckle.

"Where are we going?" 

He pulled the car out of your driveway with a cryptic smile.

"Wouldn't be a surprise if I told you darling."

The entire ride had been a sort of guessing game, you'd ask for hints about what the crafty devil had planned, and he would deflect or give you vague answers. When the two of you had finally arrived you stared at the building in front of you with speechless fascination. 

While you were mesmerized by the almost magical looking restaurant in front of you, Lucifer had gotten out of the car. He held your door open for you, holding a hand out for you to take. You gave him a grateful smile, taking the offered hand as you slipped from the passenger seat. He placed a hand on your lower back as he led you towards the building.

"I've never even heard of this place." You spoke up.

Lucifer smiled as he held the door open for you.

"I'd imagine not, this restaurant doesn't officially open for another week, the owner owes me a favor or two." 

You opened your mouth to say something but a man you assumed to be the owner approached Lucifer. He shook the devil's hand, eagerly leading the two of you to a table on the balcony outside. You couldn't help but get caught up in the view, as Lucifer spoke with the owner.

"That sounds marvelous, doesn't it darling?"

You looked back over at them, a lost expression on your face, you hadn't been listening to their conversation.

"Uh... yes?" 

The owner seemed pleased with your answer and walked away. You watched him disappear from view and looked back at Lucifer, who was sipping his wine, smiling at you knowingly.

"Beautiful view isn't it?"

You nodded absent-mindedly, gazing off in the direction the man had gone.

"What did I agree to?" You asked.

Lucifer laughed, reaching over the table to grasp your hand.

"Don't fret my dear, you'll enjoy the show." Lucifer promised.

"Show?" 

You noticed a violinist make her way over to the balcony and your face flushed.

"Lucifer this is too much." You muttered as she began to play.

"On the contrary, you deserve nothing less than the best."

You had no words after that, suppressed a smile as you glanced down at your lap. His words made the blood rush to your cheeks and ran his thumb over your knuckles as he held your hand.

~

The night was amazing, you'd spent the majority of it talking and laughing with the handsome man. The food was delicious, the music enchanting and by the end of it you'd all but forgotten about the dates you had before. It seemed that they were now a distant memory, one you could look back on and laugh.

Lucifer drove you home, the chatter and laughter counting even in the car. He walked you to your door, as you grasped his arm both of you giggling like school girls over a joke he'd made. When the laughter died down he move a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You stared at him and it took him a moment to realize what he'd done. When he did, he let his hand drop to his side, glancing off towards the street. It looked like he thought he'd made a mistake doing that and you grabbed his hand in both of yours.

"I had fun tonight Lucifer, it was amazing."

He looked back at you, a smile growing on his lips.

"It truly was."

There was brief conflict in his eyes before he bent down to kiss your cheek. He pulled back, but you grabbed his tie, pulling him back down for a real kiss. Despite his initial surprise, he reciprocated the kiss eagerly. You pulled back first smiling at the dazed devil, fixing his tie, before opening your door. 

"Goodnight Lucifer."

That seemed to pull him from his daze, and he grabbed your arm carefully.

"Would you go with me again?" He inquired.

You didn't even need to think about your answer.

"Yes." 

He noticed your lack of hesitation and took a step closer to you.

"And if I asked you on a third date?" 

You opened your door further.

"I'd say yes." 

He was closer now, invading your personal space, not that you minded.

"If I asked you again and again? Would you say yes each time?"

"Every time." You promised.

He grinned at your answer, and you glanced over your shoulder into your house.

"The night isn't over yet, you know." 

He smiled widely at your invitation and despite stepping into your home he pretended to consider your offer.

"I suppose that would make this all very official, wouldn't it? You wouldn't be getting rid of me so easily if I were to accept your tempting offer my love." 

You grabbed his tie once more, pulling him fully into your home, kicking the door closed behind him.

"You talk too much."

..................................................................................

Tag List: @sallyp-53 @mizzezm @adira-secrets @we-are-all-alittle-strange-here @gingernarwal @im-just-along-for-the-ride @lifeshortbro @star-trek-is-my-lifesource @measure-in-pain @emiwrites3reads @stubby-toe-589331

[writer-k-pop]

The Tailor (h.j.s) - Waning Crescent Hotel

Please read this (W.C.Hotel) if this is the first post of this series that you see. Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of death Genre: Angst, Hotel Del Luna AU, Choose your own adventure, SVT x Fem! Reader Staff: Yong (Spirit General Manager) / Jiwoo (Human General Manager) / Soon Bok (Room Manager) / Mun Hee (Front Desk Receptionist) / Shin (Grim Reaper assigned to Waning Crescent) Word Count: Ending A - 4.3k / Ending B - 4.3k

W.C.Hotel | Seventeen Masterlist | Masterlists

"And what would you like me to do about that?" Soon Bok asks loudly as I walk into the lobby. The guest standing in front of Soon Bok is standing with her arms crossed and a hip popped. I immediately know that the guest has been giving Soon Bok sass and Soon Bok doesn't take sass from guests.

"That's what I thought." Soon Bok says when the guest doesn't have anything to say, "Now, please, go and enjoy the hotel's amenities while I help other guests." Soon Bok bows politely as the biggest bitch slap she can give without actually laying a finger on the guest.

I snicker and take the long way to meet up with Soon Bok while avoiding the guest.

"Sassy?" I ask when I catch up with the rooms manager.

"You have no idea." Soon Bok breathes out. "She wanted me to change her room. And you wanna know her reasoning?"

I stay silent and let Soon Bok continue venting.

"Because she didn't like the rug. The freaking rug!" Soon Bok throws her hands up in the air in disbelief, "And then she has the nerve to ask me to move her room even though we are nearly fully booked with people checking in during the day and the night. Crazy bitch." Soon Bok grumbles with disgust.

I laugh and place a hand on her shoulder, "How did you ever survive here for so long, Soon Bok?"

"With great skill." Soon Bok jokes lightly. "Hey, have you seen Mun Hee? He was supposed to do something for me but he disappeared awhile ago."

I look around the lobby in search of our young receptionist. "He disappeared from me too. I'll go find him and tell him he's needed."

Soon Bok nods in thanks, "I'll be doing rounds in the 600 level."

"I'll send him right up." I say with a smile before breaking away to find Mun Hee.

I check around the lobby once more to make sure he isn't hiding behind some couch. But I have no luck. So I walk through the front reception doors to check his regular working station and low and behold, Mun Hee is sat behind the counter, scrolling through his phone, and laughing like he doesn't have a job that needs doing.

"Jang Mun Hee." I cross my arms over my chest and just stare at him. The sound of my voice startles him so much that he sends his phone tumbling across the desk and he stumbles as he stands on his feet.

"I-I wasn't scrolling through videos." Mun Hee stutters out a bad excuse, "I-I was doing research for our hotel."

I raise my eyebrows at him in suspicion and keep my mouth shut.

"I was watching videos." Mun Hee lowers his head in shame.

"Well, Soon Bok is looking for you." I tell him, uncrossing my arms.

Mun Hee's mouth drops open in realization. "Oh shoot. She asked me to print some things for her." His hands tap nervously against the desk, "Oh. Oh. Oh. (y/n) can you stay here for just a few minutes while I go do that? Please?" He asks.

I nod once, "She's in the 600 level."

Mun Hee clasps his hands together in thanks, "Oh, thank you, thank you." He rushes past me, "I'll be right back!" He says and yanks the door to the hotel open then is gone from my sight.

I shake my head and chuckle before making my way behind the desk. Standing behind the desk for the first time in hundreds of years, I run my hands over the polished wood. Behind me, a wall lists all the rooms available and each room number has a light next to it. The rooms who's light is turned off have a guest situated there. Seeing as our hotel is quite nearly full, most of the lights are turned off but there are still a good number lit.

The bell above the front door dings, announcing a guest's arrival.

"Welcome to the Waning-" I start the usual speech but stop when I see the guest's face.

"Hi. Am I in the right place?" The guest with Sang Kyu's face asks while looking around our pretty empty reception area.

"I, I can check that for you if you uh, would just show me your palm." I stutter in the face of one of my former human managers.

The guest with Sang Kyu's face willingly holds out his hand, palm up. I have to read over his palm a couple times to make sure I'm reading his lives correctly.

I breathe out in relief and the guest pulls his hand back.

"You actually will need to go find Hotel Blue Moon." I tell him. "Just follow the moon and it'll guide you there."

"I thought that's what I was doing." The guest tilts his head to the side and Sang Kyu's unique confused expression shows through loud and clear.

"You probably were following the moon's shadow." I explain, "The moon's shadow leads you here while the moon leads you to Hotel Blue Moon."

"Ah, I see. So follow the actual moon, yes?" The guest repeats my instructions.

I nod, "Yes, there you will rest before leaving to live another life."

"There's more after this life?" The guest's eyes widen and I'm reminded of Sang Kyu's first few days as a manager and how every single thing amazed him.

"There is." I smile softly.

"Thank you." The guest says and quickly makes his way out of the reception area.

I sigh as the door closes behind him, "The Gods have given you 8 lives. Live them well." I sigh again and continue to stare at the closed doors.

"Who was given 8 lives?" Mun Hee asks from behind me.

Startled, I whip around to face him while he has his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Mun Hee, don't sneak up on me like that." I scold him.

"Okay but who was given 8 lives?" He repeats his question, ignoring my fright.

"Sang Kyu's soul." I tell him and lean my forearms on the desk.

"Sang Kyu showed up?" Mun Hee asks and brushes his arm against mine as he copies my body posture.

"A future life did." I say, "But I had to send him to Hotel Blue Moon. His soul's not done yet."

"Damn, I missed him." Mun Hee says disappointed and I turn to face the board of rooms.

"He'll be back." I say, "Which room did Soon Bok put Joshua in?" I ask, searching the rooms as if they'll tell me.

Mun Hee turns around and points to a room with its light off, "312. And he's staying for 14 days. I read his palm." Mun Hee adds before I can say anything.

"Two weeks?" I rephrase the duration of Joshua's stay, "That's so long."

"But it also means he lived a lot of lives, which is good, right?" Mun Hee questions.

"I'm impatient." I give him a lazy smile and push away from the desk to head back into the hotel.

"Oh, are you not going to hang out with me?" Mun Hee asks, his eyes following my movements.

I pause with my hand on the doors and chuckle, "I wish I could, Mun Hee, but you have your job and I have my job. I'll see you later." I wave at him and open the door to the bustling lobby.

~The Fourteenth Day~

I sigh and set down my pen after signing the 19th form of the day and I've only been awake for an hour. With one hand, I close the final folder and the other brings the champagne flute to my mouth. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes after setting the flute back down on my desk. My ears listen to the soft orchestral music I put on for background noise and stretch out my wrist.

"It's just around the corner." Chung Ho argues from the driver's seat. "And it'll only take like six seconds. I just have to pick up my suit jacket."

"Can't you do it on your way home?" I groan and sink further into my seat.

Chung Ho shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the road, "I need it for the thing I have after I get off."

"I'll let you leave early." I try to bargain cause I really just want to lie in my bed and ignore both worlds.

Chung Ho gestures to the road in front of him, "We're basically here. Stop complaining," He turns down a side street full of shops. "You can brood and sulk soon."

I humph and turn my head towards my side window.

The shops we pass are brick-and-mortar stores but most seem to be busy as there are a good amount of people out and about.

Chung Ho parks the car outside of a tailor shop and turns the car off.

"I'll be right back. Wait here." He instructs me and I scoff that he's giving me instructions.

He leaves the car and walks into the store. The store front is quieter than the other surrounding stores and there are some sharp suits set up on mannequins in the front windows.

"Doesn't look too shabby." I mutter and peel my eyes back to the inside of the car.

I turn my attention back to the inside of car where Chung Ho's wallet sits. My hand wraps around the wallet sitting in the center console. Worried that he'll need it, I exit the car and quickly make my way inside the shop.

Chung Ho stands at the counter, patiently waiting for someone, and I make my way over.

Holding out his wallet to him, I announce my presence, "You left this in the car."

He looks down and then up at me, "You do have a heart." He jabs at me like a little sibling.

I roll my eyes as someone approaches with a suit jacket in a clear plastic covering. He's dressed in slacks and a freshly pressed button up shirt. And I have to say he looks quite good. I read his name off of his name tag: Joshua.

"Here you are." Joshua lays out the jacket on the counter then points out where he fixed it but I can't actually tell, "I fixed the stitching on the pocket and the buttons on the sleeves. And there was some loose stitching on the inner layer so I fixed that as well."

"It looks amazing. Thank you." Chung Ho runs his hands over the front of the jacket and pockets his wallet.

As Chung Ho picks up his jacket, Joshua turns to me.

"Have you been helped yet, miss?" He asks and I'm taken aback not expecting it.

"I, I'm with him." I gesture to Chung Ho who is trying so hard to stifle a laugh.

"I see." Joshua looks between us, "Well, if you need anything tailored or custom made, do stop in."

"Thank you." I smile, slightly off put by the normality of his tone.

"Oh, here, take my business card." Joshua hands over a small piece of paper, "My name's Joshua." He smiles and my mind burns the sweet sight deep into my memory.

Quick and consistent knocking brings me out of the memory and I sit up, rubbing my eyes.

"Who is it?" I ask, my voice laced with sleep.

Jiwoo opens the door and stands halfway in the doorway, "It's me."

"Mm, come in." I run my hands through my hair, pushing through the small knots that had formed during my nap.

"You signed all the forms?" Jiwoo asks, noticing the large stacks on my desk.

"Yupp." I say and pop the 'p.'

"Did you even read them?" He asks and raises a questioning eyebrow.

I shrug, "I skimmed."

Jiwoo shakes his head and then scoops of the files, "Soon Bok brought Joshua down just now. You better get going. Don't want to keep your man waiting." He says and winks at me.

I chuckle and quickly make my way out of my office with a wave of goodbye. My heels notify the hotel walls that this boss lady is not to be disturbed on her way to her garden.

When I reach the garden, Joshua is standing, facing me with his head bowed and his hands clasped behind his back. He hears my footsteps and lifts his head up. A smile grows on his face and mine does the same.

"Hey, stranger." Joshua says with a light chuckle.

I run into his arms and sigh happily. "Joshua."

Joshua pulls back and his eyes gaze over my face while he tucks some of my hair behind my ear. "God, you haven't changed a bit." He whispers.

I shyly laugh and Joshua chuckles at my reaction.

"How have you been?" Joshua asks, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"I've been... existing." I answer him.

"Just existing?" Joshua raises his eyebrows.

"Well, I was living for a while but then I had to wait and at that point I was just existing." I explain then turn the question onto him, "How was your stay?"

"Really nice." Joshua says slightly surprised, "You run a really nice hotel."

"What, did you think I was running an old moldy motel?" I question with a laugh.

Joshua quickly shakes his head, "No, no. I just never expected the after life to be this... extravagant."

"We get our money from the Gods and they do not disappoint." I say with a smug smile. "Plus this is only the beginning, there's still the other side."

Joshua wiggles his eyebrows playfully and twirls me in a circle. "Sounds exciting."

I land back in his arms and he looks around the garden.

"So is this your private garden?" Joshua asks, keeping one arm wrapped around your shoulders while turning his body towards the tree.

"This is." I say, "And that's the tree that keeps me tied here like a chained dog."

"Ah, don't drag innocent dogs into this." Joshua pouts, "Well, you keep it in good condition."

"It keeps itself like that." I tell him and lead him towards the tree. "The Gods use it as a twisted reminder of why I'm running this hotel."

I pull his hand and rest it against the trunk of the tree. "Do you feel it?"

Joshua tilts his head to the side, "What am I supposed to feel?"

I smile softly at him, "Close your eyes and focus on the tree." I tell him and let go of his hand as not to interfere.

"Okay." Joshua whispers and closes his eyes. After a few seconds, he opens his eyes again. "There's a faint heartbeat."

"It's mine." I lean in close to tell him the secret.

"So you are alive." Joshua teases and boops my nose.

"Just cause I have a heartbeat doesn't mean I'm alive." I argue and walk back to sit on the bench.

"Always the stubborn one, aren't you?" Joshua asks, taking a seat next to me on the bench.

I scrunch my face up at him then move the conversation away from the topic of me. "I have a question."

"Ask your question." Joshua says dramatically.

"That first day we met, why did you assume I was just another customer?" I ask and Joshua's face flushes with embarrassment.

"That was so embarrassing." He covers his face with his hands. I giggle and pull his hands away. His cheeks are flushed pink and he smiles sheepishly.

"I thought it was kind of cute." I tell him.

Joshua chuckles while he exhales, "Well, if I'm being completely honest, it was your clothes."

"My clothes?" I question and look down at my outfit.

"Not the ones you're wearing, silly." Joshua nudges his shoulder against mine, "The day you walked in with your friend you were wearing at least what looked like high end stuff and your friend was wearing a lower level of fashion."

"How could you tell it was high end?" I continue to probe into his explanation.

"Have you already forgotten what I did for a living?" Joshua asks, slightly offended but then continues his explanation, "The fabrics your dress was made out of and, not that I was looking," He lays out his defense, "The stitching on your dress was flawless. Damn near perfect."

"You got all that from the what, one minute we were standing in front of each other?" I wonder.

"Uh, yeah." Joshua responds with sass, "I'm a tailor. It's what I did for a living."

"So you totally judged us." I sum up.

"Oh, I totally judged you." Joshua laughs and I join in with him. "Just don't tell your friend that."

"You really don't remember his name?" I ask.

"I was kind of focused on you." Joshua smirks.

I breathe out, "Well, lucky for you, I haven't seen Chung Ho pass through this hotel yet. So he's still out there living lives." I lean in closer to Joshua and poke his tummy. "Speaking of lives, you, sir, lived a fair amount."

"Fourteen is a fair amount?" Joshua wonders. "I thought I would've lived more."

"More than fourteen lives?" I repeat incredulously, "Fourteen lives is a lot! Most souls only live like 5 to 9 lives. You had fourteen."

Joshua laughs in defeat, "Alright, so I lived more than the average number of lives but I still thought I would've lived more."

"The Gods decide all that and I'm pretty sure they spin a wheel to see how many lives each soul will live." I explain and try to joke at the same time. "Which life was your favorite?"

"Hmm." Joshua hums in thought, "My first. Cause you were in it." He lazily smiles.

"That's biased." I roll my eyes.

"No but I am serious about my favorite being my first." Joshua explains, "The clothes I made and the clothes I fixed, I don't know, there was just sometime about the work that I didn't find in any of my other lives."

"So you like using your hands." I conclude and start playing with his hand.

Joshua chuckles and grips my hand securely. "My hands are everything. I get to hold my most favorite thing in my hands." He holds up your interlocked hands for emphasis.

"And what was your favorite part about making or fixing the clothes?" I ask, leaning in closer and listening to the echo of his heartbeat. Strong and steady.

Joshua shrugs underneath me, "The feeling of the cloth underneath my fingers and the motion of sewing the pieces together was just, soothing? Calming?" He searches for the right word.

"I get it." I nod in understanding. "Plus, you always made the seams nearly invisible. You were so good."

"Only for you." Joshua whispered and planted a kiss to the top of my head.

"Nah, I couldn't have been the only one." I deny.

"You're right. You weren't the only one." Joshua states simply and I still at his answer, "I did it for my kids, also."

A smile grows on my face, "Kids? You had kids?"

Joshua mirrors the smile on my face and nods, "I had two. Two girls." He explains.

"Tell me about them." I ask, looking up at him and he settles more comfortably with me.

"What do you want to know?" Joshua asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer.

"Everything." I exhale happily, ready to dive into the stories of Joshua's first life.

Joshua chuckles but easily begins telling me all about his girls. Where they went to school, what they ended up doing after college, and even some of their embarrassing stories-many of which he took part in. I listen with admiration as he claims that because of me and my wardrobe full of dresses, he was well versed in the world of dress tailoring.

From his children, he moved onto the shop and how it faired over the years. How he couldn't find a successor for it and it retired when he did. The things he did in retirement and the few grandchildren his daughters gave him. He even lived long enough to meet a couple of his great grandchild.

In between the stories, we'd sometimes get sidetracked and start talking about our own memories. From the happy ones when we had chaotic dates and amazing adventures to the less happy ones where we had our arguments or when I had to return to the hotel for long periods of times and I couldn't tell him where I was going.

As the last of the stories are told, the sun also tells its last stories while it bids the day goodbye.

And it also signals the goodbye I have to say to Joshua.

Joshua sighs and kisses my head then rests his cheek on the top of my head. "My turn to go, huh?" He murmurs.

I slowly nod, "Your turn to go."

"And if I don't want to?" He questions, slumping onto me.

"We don't really have a choice, Joshua." I giggle as my body starts to bend underneath his dead weight.

Joshua pouts like a child and I shake my head.

"You, sir, are a child." I tell him with a laugh.

"My soul is still so young." Joshua says and dramatically places a hand over his heart. "And now it must go to an eternal rest. How unfair and cruel is this world." Joshua flails his body out.

I stand up with an exhale, "Alright, my love. You have a soul that needs resting." I grab his hands one at a time and try to pull him up but he does nothing to help me. He even closes his eyes.

"Joshua..." I drag out his name.

He peeks at me through half opened eyes before suppressing a smile and closing his eyes again.

I cross my arms and tilt my head to the side, "Joshua, come on. I don't want this anymore than you do but come on. Please?"

Joshua sighs in defeat and holds out his hands while opening and closing his fists. Much like a child. "Help me up." He says.

I roll my eyes playfully but give into his request and grab his hands. When he stands, he pulls me so we're standing chest to chest and looks down at me with a look that I can't quite place.

"What?" I ask and he smirks.

"Can't I take in the beauty of the woman I love for a last time?" Joshua questions me.

I release one of his hands and lead him out of the garden, "Yes you can, but you are on a deadline."

Joshua mumbles nonsense and wraps his arms around my waist from behind. "Do you think the weather will be nice over there?" He asks, nuzzling his face into my neck.

"I'm sure the weather will be beautiful over there." I chuckle.

As we enter the lobby, Joshua lightly kisses my neck and a shiver runs down my spine.

"Joshua, behave." I scold him, "The guests will be awake soon."

"Sooo?" He drags out the word in a low voice.

"Joshua." I elbow his stomach, telling him that he seriously needs to stop.

Joshua pulls back and falls in step next to me, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just really going to miss you." He explains

"I know." I smile at him as we near the departure door.

Joshua reaches out and opens the door. The night air wastes no time rushing into the hotel. We both stand shoulder to shoulder looking out towards the forest, neither of us aying a word.

That is until the wind blows the sound of an idling engine in our direction. Joshua hears it as well and starts walking forward with me in tow. We walk in silence but Joshua's grip on my hand doesn't lessen one bit. Our footsteps slow as we approach Shin standing next to the idling car.

I take in a deep breath and try to release my hand from Joshua's grasp but he doesn't let go.

"Promise me something?" He asks, reaching into his other pocket.

"Anything."  I say, my voice not coming out as strong as I would've liked.

Joshua gives me a small smile and brings something out of his pocket. The colorful cloth floats in the wind and some gold sparkles under the growing moonlight.

"Keep this close." He says and places the cloth in my hand, closing my fingers around it.

I open the fabric in my hands. The deep blue silk is soft against my fingers and I know exactly where i've met this fabric before. It was Joshua's favorite handkerchief.

My hands close over the cloth, "I promise." I promise and Joshua nods in satisfaction.

Joshua leans down and places a sweet kiss on my lips. For those two seconds, I spend the entire time memorizing how his lips feels against mine and how they mold with mine as easily as chocolate sets in a mold. And all too soon, Joshua pulls away and smiles sweetly at me.

Without another word, I watch him walk to the car and lower himself into it. I watch as the car door shuts at the sound solidifies Joshua's exit from this world.

My grip on the handkerchief tightens as the car drives away. I pray that the Gods won't take this last shred of Joshua away from me but of course, they don't listen to me.

Minutes after the car disappears into the forest fog, the satin slowly disappears until all that's left in my grasp is air.

When the cloth has fully disappeared, a white chrysanthemum withers and dies back in the garden. Then I turn back to the hotel and walk straight to my office and lock myself away to wait for the next to arrive.

Return to the Navigation Page (Waning Crescent Hotel) to choose the next guest.

"I wonder which one was right." Joshua says, uncrossing his legs in preparation to stand up.

"Which one was right?" I repeat his question in confusion.

"Which religion was right." Joshua explains, "I was always a Christian but I wonder which one actually had it right."

I smile at his thoughts, "They all are." I tell him, leaning towards him, "That's why they're called 'Gods' and not 'God.'"

"And no one knows." Joshua says in awe.

"Not until they come here." I smile and rise to my feet, "So let's go see it."

Joshua jumps to his feet, "Let's go." He smiles widely and grabs my hand. He leads me out of the garden with a little spring in his step. But as we near the lobby, my footsteps begin getting heavier.

We walk hand in hand to the lobby where Yong, Mun Hee, Soon Bok, and Jiwoo stand solemnly.

"So this is it?" Mun Hee asks with tears in his eyes. "This is the day you leave us?"

I wrap him up in a hug, only a tiny bit annoyed that he's being so sappy. "Maybe I'll get punished again and be back here by the end of the year." I try to joke but Mun Hee abruptly pushes back from me.

"Don't you dare say that. You better not return here." He says angrily through his tears.

I chuckle, "I won't come back. I promise."

Turning to Soon Bok, I thank her for her service and her amazing work. Something I never did and should've done more.

Next onto Jiwoo. I also thank him for his and his entire family's service then I unclip the bracelet that has held him to this place.

"When you leave today, you won't be able to find this place again." I inform him, "I hope that you'll be able to go and live your life happily."

Jiwoo nods, "Thank you for letting me work with you. I won't ever forget you."

I smile sadly, "You will. But thank you."

Finally I reach Yong who is sniffling and trying so very hard not cry.

"You'd think after all these years of waiting that I'd be prepared for this day." She says through sniffles.

"Thank you, Yong." I rests my hands on her shoulders, "For everything. Thank you."

With lips pursed together, she leans forward and wraps me in an unexpected hug. But I soon wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tightly.

We pull apart after a couple seconds and I wipe the few tears that have escaped from her eyes.

"Keep this hotel running beautifully." I tell her before Joshua grabs my hand again.

With final waves of goodbye, Joshua and I walk out to the foggy forest that will take us to our resting place.

At the edge of the forest, Shin stands next to an idling car, a somber look on his face.

"(y/n)." He says when we reach him, "It has been an honor working with you. I wish you both a peaceful rest." Shin bows his head and I pat his arm.

"The honor was mine." I tell him with a smile. Now the tears start to line my eyes as the realization fully sets in.

I'm free. I served my years of punishment and now I'm free to let my soul rest.

I turn back towards the hotel and look up to the top where the rooftop patio is outlined with bright string lights. Then to the mid floors where random room lights are turned on, some guests staying in while others opting to experience the hotel's many services. Then to grand base where guests would be milling around, waiting their turns to leave this world.

"(y/n)?" Joshua softly asks pulling my attention to where he sits just inside the car, "Are you ready?"

I take one last quick look at the hotel before turning away from it. "Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go."

I lower myself into the car and Shin securely closes the door after I am completely inside. As the car begins to drive forward, Joshua securely grabs my hand and I let his warmth guide me towards our final destination.

In the garden, the final chrysanthemum withers and dies so that no more stand at the base of the bare tree.

[capcarolsdanver]

Faking It (Part 4)

Summary: This was a request for a Carol Danvers fake dating fic that will be a multi-chapter series, likely 4 parts! Who doesn’t love a fake dating fic?

Stories come out about Carol and her.. sexual escapades. This could potentially be PR trouble for the Avengers so Tony and Steve convince Carol that maybe the best way out of this mess is to convince the public she is in a committed relationship.. with the reader, her best friend who has feelings for Carol, but believes her feelings aren’t reciprocated. What could possibly go wrong??

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader A/N: Okay, we all know this took way too long. I’m still not even entirely sure I’m happy with this chapter even after rewrites and edits but I’m not gonna have you guys wait any longer so this is what I’ve got for you! A head’s up, this part is long. Like, looong. As this is the final part to the series I really would appreciate any feedback people have for this part and the series as a whole! Also may consider writing an epilogue maybe sometime but that depends on feedback from this part! Really hope you enjoy this and I’d like to thank everyone who has read this series and liked/reblogged it! Please do not repost my writing anywhere without my permission. PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

“So. How’s it going with Carol?”

You and Nat are both lazing beside each other on the large couch in the open entertainment area of the compound, a blanket thrown over you both while some movie Nat had put on plays on the large screen on the wall.

A handful of the team had left earlier that afternoon for a mission, so you and Nat had decided to wait in the open room for them to return, knowing they’ll pass you on their way back into the compound. Carol was included in this mission and you were maybe a little too eager to see her return.

“Everything’s going according to plan,” you reply with a shrug. “We’re going to Tony’s party together on Saturday night.”

“Aw, cute,” she teases and you can’t help but chuckle at her.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?” All you can do is shake your head at her. Nat glances at you before watching the screen again. “Seriously, Y/N. Don’t you think that by now you should be able to admit your feelings for her? With what you’re going through, I think you should be allowed to vent and talk to someone about it.”

You remain silent for a long moment.

Out of everyone here, Natasha has always been the one who can read you so well, often times even better than yourself. So, you obviously know that she would have picked up on your feelings for Carol shortly after they developed, very likely before you had even known about them.

And Nat has always been one of your closest friends here besides Carol, so you know that anything you speak to her about will be kept between the two of you.

That’s what gives you the confidence to whisper a quiet “You’re right”, Natasha’s eyes flying from the screen to look at you again. She stays quiet but she doesn’t move her eyes from you.

“At least before all of this I could try to ignore it. But now- it’s impossible.” Your shoulders slump as you voice your thoughts. “I mean, we kissed, Nat. And it was so much better than I could have imagined.”

You let out a tired sigh and run your hand across your face. “I should have never agreed to this. How could I have expected this to end well?”

“Hey, listen. Things might not be how they were before this whole thing started, but why does that mean it has to be a bad thing?”

You look at Nat skeptically and she offers you a confident nod.

“Let’s go over the facts, okay? You and Carol have been flirting with each other for forever, though you’ve been trying to convince yourselves that it’s just playful banter. She practically melts every time you smile at her, which is a lot. I wish I’d never noticed the amount of times she’s undressed you with her eyes when you don’t look. And she literally took it upon herself to become the softest girlfriend imaginable without even realising that there was a camera on her.”

You blink at Nat as she lists things off, your mind racing at her words.

“So let’s face it. You both have feelings for each other. And correct me if I’m wrong but I think you might finally be starting to realise her feelings too, just like the rest of us always have.” Your blush is answer enough for Nat. “So who says that you both can’t come out of this with an even better relationship than you had before?”

You open your mouth to respond, but approaching voices make you stop. The returning Avengers walk into the room, voices booming and laughing loudly. You can’t make out a single word as they loudly chatter over the top of each other.

Amongst the group, Tony spots you and Natasha on the couch.

“There’s our best girls!” He says, grinning at the sight of you both. This causes Carol to glance in your direction too, finding your eyes already on her.

You smile and wave at her, though you feel a little dejected when she does nothing more than glance at you and Nat, giving you what barely qualifies as a smile and nods.

“You all made it back in one piece, then?” Nat asks.

“Depends on what you define as ‘one piece’,” Bucky replies cheekily, holding up his metal arm.

Nat snorts in response. “You’re an idiot.”

“Well I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m pretty beat. I’m turning in for the night,” Steve announces. The rest of the team nod in agreement, aside from Carol, who thinks she’s being subtle about looking at you, and Tony.

“I think I might head to the lab for a while. I’ve got some things to work on,” he says.

“Alright, suit yourself. See you all tomorrow,” Steve waves and heads in the direction of the team’s private rooms, the rest of the group in tow.

Carol seems unsure of what to do, moving to take a step after the group as she watches them walk away, but ultimately staying put where she is.

You hear Natasha let out a light laugh next to you and your eyes leave Carol’s form as Nat pushes the blanket off her lap and stands up, shooting you a quick wink.

“Need any help in the lab?” She asks, catching up to Tony.

“Sure. Although, I don’t know how much help I’m gonna get from you in there,” he jokes, earning himself a shove from Nat as they both laugh.

Carol watches them leave, keeping her eyes on the empty doorway for another moment before turning back to you. She finds your form somewhere in the pile of blankets you’ve been left with on the couch.

You sit up and adjust your position on the couch, acutely aware of her eyes on you the entire time.

“Well, are you gonna come sit with me, then?”

“Do you want me to?” Your brow furrows on its own accord at her cautious tone.

“Of course I do.”

She walks over to the couch and stops short, oddly quiet as she glances at you. You pat the spot next to you where Nat had just been and she smiles at you before sitting down.

“The mission went well, then?”

She nods. “Yeah, it went as smoothly as we could have hoped. It was pretty tiring, though. I’m definitely just glad to be back here now,” she says, her voice softening, and she maintains eye contact with you despite to hint of pink appearing on her cheeks.

“Yeah, me too,” you say.

You both just smile at one another until Carol eventually breaks the eye contact to look at the screen.

“So what are you watching?”

“Oh,” you say as you glance at the screen now, too. “I don’t actually know. Something Nat picked out that I really wasn’t paying a lot of attention to, to be honest.”

“Right.” There’s a beat of silence and you can how lost in thought Carol seems to be. “So what were you paying attention to, then?”

“Hmm?”

“Well, something obviously had you distracted,” she alludes and you catch onto what she’s implying pretty quickly.

“You’re still jealous of Nat?” You say it in a teasing tone, though you’re too busy studying Carol’s every move and expression to bother with the accompanying teasing smirk.

She shrugs, struggling to keep her eyes on you.

“You two just seem very close lately.”

“And you and I don’t?” You shoot back gently, curious to see how far you could push the particular topic.

At her stuttering, blush filled response, you touch her arm and she stops and looks at you.

“Nat and I aren’t together, if that’s what you’re wondering. Never have been and never will be.”

At this point, you aren’t sure if you imagine the relief that crosses Carol’s face or not, but it gives you the confidence that you need to get your next sentence out.

“Besides, as much as I love Nat, she’s well aware that she’s not my favourite.”

Carol is once again lost for words. She blinks at you a couple times before a rare shy smile graces her face.

“Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way.” You reach across Carol for the remote and turn off whatever movie Nat had put on, going back to Netflix’s main page. “What do you want to watch?”

You hand Carol the remote and she begins searching through the selection of movies. While she does, you throw the blanket over her too, unable to hide your own smile.

“Ooh, I love this movie!” She says, landing on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and hitting play and you both fall into a comfortable silence as the movie plays. This goes on for another 20 or so minutes before you glance at Carol, who you only just now realise looks absolutely exhausted.

Her eyes are still happily glued to the screen, though, so you don’t bother to try to coax her to go to bed. You instead move to rest your head on her shoulder and she throws an arm over you to pull you closer. You happily shift your body to melt further into Carol’s.

You’re not really sure how much more of the movie plays before your eyes close and you drift off to sleep.

————————

“Well isn’t this just the cutest thing?”

You’re pulled out of your slumber from the voice coming from somewhere above you. You barely react, though, scrunching your face and shifting your body a little, eyes remaining tightly shut.

“Quick, Nat. Get a photo.” This has you opening your eyes.

Clint and Nat are both standing over you, wide grins on their faces as they look down at where you and Carol are still huddled together on the couch. There’s blankets still covering you both, and you’re practically lying on top of Carol.

“What the fuck are you two doing?!” You growl as quietly as you can manage, glancing down at Carol to ensure you don’t wake her up as you careful manoeuvre yourself into a seated position.

“Oh, nothing. Just documenting this moment so on your wedding day you two can look back at how this all started and laugh,” Nat says, pointing her phone at you and taking several photos.

“I’m actually going to kill you,” you hiss, feeling Carol stir next to you.

“What the hell is going on?” She rubs her eyes and attempts to focus on the scene she’s suddenly found herself in.

“Why don’t you tell us, Miss “We’re not a real couple” Danvers,” Clint quips.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you wanted to die today,” Carol snarls back, her face immediately shifting into a harsh glare towards Clint.

“Alright, we’ve both already had our lives threatened, so I think it’s time we leave you two alone,” Nat laughs. She winks before she turns away and you grab a cushion from the couch and throw it after her as her and Clint walk away.

“Sometimes I forget that we’re surrounded by assholes almost all of the time here,” Carol deadpans and you chuckle, moving aside to allow her to sit up.

“Sorry I fell asleep on you last night. I’m starting to make a real habit of that, huh?”

“I don’t mind,” she says, that same smile from last night returning to her face. You smile back and for a long moment you both just sit there smiling at each other until your grumbling stomach breaks the silence.

Carol laughs at you. “Time for breakfast, then?” She teases, standing up and grabbing your arms to help you to your feet too. “Come on.” You both head towards the kitchen and when you enter the room, you stop at the sight of a familiar figure already behind the counter.

“Thor!” You exclaim, racing the rest of the way into the kitchen. Thor turns around and is greeted by you practically tackling him into a hug, though he doesn’t even slightly budge from the force of you colliding with him. Instead, he happily throws his arms around you too, beaming.

“Y/N! I missed you!”

Carol leans against the bench and looks on fondly.

Thor is practically like a big brother to you so you absolutely love it whenever he returns back to Earth from whatever space adventures he’s been on. When you two separate, Thor notices Carol too.

“Ah, Carol! Good to see you!” She smiles and nods. As you watch their somewhat awkward interaction, you can’t help but chuckle at the memory of when Thor once tried to hug Carol in greeting and got photon blasted halfway across the room.

They get along just fine. Pretty well, in fact. Carol always speaks highly of Thor and vice versa. But Carol just isn’t particularly affectionate with anyone besides you. And maybe Peter on the odd occasion.

She tends to not really expect it and usually reacts poorly, always offering a sheepish apology to whoever happens to be on the receiving end. But that had never really been an issue with you, which you’re glad about because you are definitely a hugger.

And if Carol really had to, she’d admit that she actually enjoys that about you, despite her general distaste of physical forms of affection.

“Woah, that’s a lot of pancakes, Thor,” you say, noticing multiple stacks on plates across the counter. Thor had always been a sucker for his favourite breakfast food since his first visit to Earth and whenever he comes back he can’t seem to get enough of them. He’d spent days upon days trying to perfect his recipe and make the perfect pancakes.

“Oh, please help yourself!” He happily offers and you and Carol thank him before grabbing a small stack of pancakes each.

“Were you gonna eat all of these on your own if we hadn’t shown up?” Carol asks Thor, who already has half a pancake stuffed in his mouth. He blinks at her, chewing on his food and swallowing it.

“…No,” he eventually replies, not even slightly convincing. You and Carol both laugh and he just shrugs before shoving the other half of his pancake in his mouth. “What can I say? I have a large appetite,” he mumbles out around his mouthful of food.

“When did you get back?” You ask.

“Early this morning.” You nod before noticing a shift in Thor’s expression. “You know, I noticed you on the couch this morning as I walked in. I almost said hello then until I realised you were both asleep.”

It’s not exactly a question he asks, not even an implication. It’s really just a statement. But the smile on his face tells you he thinks he knows what’s going on.

It’s honestly something you’ve always loved about Thor. The fact that he never outright voices his speculations about people’s personal lives, unlike the rest of the Avengers. Of course you always tell him everything eventually anyway, but until that happens he always gives you the space he feels you need to avoid making you uncomfortable.

Given the situation, though, you know you better give him the heads up before his welcome back party.

“Yeah. There’s definitely some things we need to catch up on,” you chuckle nervously.

“While you two do that, I’m gonna go get ready for the day. We’re still heading out today, right?” Carol asks, standing from her seat at the breakfast bar.

“Yeah,” you confirm.

When you last spoke to Steve and Tony, they were happy with how well you and Carol were doing and asked you to just make one more appearance out somewhere leading up to the party.

“Okay, I’ll meet you by the front in, like, 3 hours?”

“Sure,” you say and you and Thor watch as she leaves.

When you look back at Thor he has a cheery smile on his face, and you spend well over an hour explaining the situation, even confessing your feelings for Carol to him. You ask him about his most recent adventures, too, but being the type of guy he is, he’s more interested in listening to what you have to say and offering you advice.

You seriously couldn’t have picked anyone better to refer to as your big brother.

You eventually go your separate ways so you can get ready and catch up with Carol again. You check your watch on your way. You’re a little early but knowing Carol, she’s likely already there waiting for you.

You stop short before you walk through the walkway to the lobby of the compound when you hear Carol’s voice in conversation with someone else in the room.

“Do you think you’ll miss being able to flirt with as many women as you can at the party, then?” You recognise the other voice as Rhodey’s.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Carol replies. “I mean, I usually find these parties a lot of fun. This one won’t be like that, though. I’m being made to stay on my best behaviour,” she jokes.

“So then what about Y/N? She’s holding you back from having fun?”

“It’s not that,” Carol says. “It’s just.. Tony’s parties are usually where I get to let loose, you know? I get to forget about all my responsibilities, forget about all the missions gone wrong and just enjoy myself. But this whole situation with Y/N.. it just kinda feels like I’m being kept on a leash.”

You’d be lying if you said Carol’s words didn’t sting. Ever since this whole mess of a situation began, you felt like things with Carol had been shifting. That things were different, even better now than before, like Natasha had said. But it sounds like maybe Carol doesn’t quite agree with you.

Had you really been wrong this whole time? Had Nat and the others swayed you into thinking that Carol shared the same feelings as you? Did Carol really think that you were holding her back from being happy and having fun?

Had you really been so blinded by your own feelings for so long that you had just been imagining Carol’s longing looks, more frequent touches, more caring nature towards you? Even when the cameras were nowhere to be scene.

Maybe she was just playing along to spare your feelings until she was told she could be done with this.

All these thoughts hit you at once, and despite how overwhelmed and hurt you suddenly feel, you take a deep breath and approach the doorway, taking heavier than usual steps to make your presence known before you enter.

“Hey, there you are,” Carol smiles. You offer her a short smile in return, though it doesn’t quite make it to your eyes, and you walk up to the front door and wait for Carol to join you. She approaches you, eyes watching you carefully. “Are you-“

“Let’s just keep this simple today and get it over with, yeah?” You say, eyes still remaining ahead as you reach for her hand.

She looks you over, concerned, but nods in response. “Yeah, okay.”

You lead her along in silence, which is how most of your simple walk goes. You smile at all the right times, but you manage to keep the talking down to a minimum and the second you return to the compound you bid a short farewell to Carol and leave her standing alone, confused like never before.

————————

You manage to keep to yourself for the most part over the next day or so, though as the party approaches you know you can’t really continue avoiding everyone. Especially since you and Carol had already agreed to get ready together in your room.

As promised by Tony, Happy delivered your outfits to your rooms in time for the party. Carol is currently in your bathroom getting ready while you look yourself over in your mirror, smoothing your hands over the front of your dress. You’re wearing a navy a-line dress, with spaghetti straps and a side slit exposing the skin of your leg. Simple yet beautiful.

Your bathroom door opens while you admire your dress in the mirror and your eyes drift to the reflection of the doorway as Carol hesitantly steps through. Your breath is taken away from you as you look her over.

She’s wearing a navy suit jacket and a pair of tight trousers that match your dress, a white blouse underneath, the top button left undone. You feel your brain short circuit as you look at her. Again, the outfit itself is simple but it works so well. Especially on Carol.

Tony was right; Happy is good. You’ll have to compliment him on his unexpectedly good eye for fashion the next time you see him.

She joins you in front of the full length mirror, staring at her own form and nervously adjusting the jacket.

“I’m pretty sure this is the fanciest I have ever looked heading to one of Tony’s parties,” she admits. You chuckle and double check your makeup in the mirror, happy with what you’ve done. Carol seems to be doing the same but is evidently not pleased with some of her makeup, grabbing her eyeliner to attempt to fix it.

“Here,” you hold your hand out and she passes her eyeliner pen over to you. Carol has never really been as into makeup as you, which obviously makes a lot of sense with her being up in space so often. But you’re always more than happy to assist whenever she needs help with it.

She’s gotten much better with it on her own over the years, though, what with her increase in social events with the Avengers. As a result, you only have to fix her eyeliner a little on each eye before you pull back and check your work.

“Perfect,” you say, putting down the eyeliner and turning to the mirror once more. Looking at yourself and Carol next to each other, it’s striking just how good you both look together. You may be biased, but everything just seems to fit so well.

You feel eyes on you and catch Carol’s gaze in the mirror.

“You look beautiful,” she breathes out as if she’s only just looked at you in your dress for the first time.

You can’t help it, but the words you overheard her say replay in your head. You feel your walls build up around you, telling you to be cautious to spare your own feelings.

“Thanks, so do you.” You reply somewhat stiffly. You can’t seem to do anything about the tone you speak in, so instead you drop your eyes from her and scan the room for anything else you might need, acutely aware of the step Carol takes towards you.

“Are you okay?” She asks and her hand comes to rest delicately on the side of your neck, her thumb stroking your cheek.

“Yeah, of course,” you say a little too quickly for Carol’s liking and you step back out of her reach, her hand falling back to her side. You spot your phone on the edge of your bed and pick it up, checking the time. “We better go. You ready?”

You barely give Carol room to answer before you open your door and step out into the hallway. She swallows thickly as she watches you, trying to figure out what’s changed in the last day or so to have you in such a cold mood.

When she steps out of your room to join you, she’s also greeted by Tony. He has a huge grin on his face and he whistles when he sees her.

“Wow, look at you two. Stunning.” He smiles at you like a proud dad. “So, listen. It’s a welcome back party, right? I know it’s still kinda fancy but it’s about as casual as my parties will ever get. There shouldn’t be too much pressure on the two of you.”

“Got it,” you nod.

“Obviously there will still be a lot of eyes on you. But that’s kind of the entire point. Just act like any regular, happy couple and we’ll be all set.” Tony says. “See you in there.” He smiles encouragingly at you and walks away, presumably to join the party.

Carol offers you her hand, which you take, and she walks you towards the large hall that Tony has designated for the party. You’re glad he chose one that was further away from the bedrooms. It gave you plenty of time to attempt to calm your nerves.

You walk through the large open doors and immediately it feels like all eyes are on you. It’s a feeling you aren’t at all comfortable with, but you just try to ignore it the best you can.

“Y/N!” You hear being called from the bar and look to see Thor enthusiastically waving you and Carol over. Carol nods at you and you walk hand in hand towards the bar.

The second you get near Thor he engulfs you both in a hug which Carol couldn’t have avoided even if she tried. He lets go of you with a massive smile on his face.

“Carol, may I interest you in a proper drink?” He holds up a flask of Asgardian alcohol for her to see and her face lights up until she glances at you.

“Uh, I better not tonight, actually,” she mutters. And again, her damn words from the previous day are right back in your head.

Thor doesn’t hide his surprise at her answer. “Later, then?” He asks hopefully.

“Maybe. We’ll see.”

Thor nods and sees Steve approaching the bar, eagerly pouring a drink for him and handing it over to him. Carol looks more than tempted to reconsider Thor’s offer but instead pulls you away by your linked hands to join another conversation.

This goes on for the next couple of hours, moving between groups to chat and give a pretty convincing appearance as couple of the year. You eventually find yourself standing against the wall with Carol, observing the partygoers.

“It’s going well so far, right?” Carols asks.

“I think so,” you say with a shrug, though you’re honestly unsure quite how to gauge how well it’s going just yet.

“Have you actually noticed any reporters?”

“I’m not sure. There’s been a lot of eyes on us the entire night so far, though, so I figure that’s a good thing.”

“Yeah. Do you think we should be acting more couple-y?” Carol asks, facing you more directly. She moves her hand to your waist, looking at you in question.

Of course, you lose yourself in her eyes, allowing yourself to enjoy this feeling for just a moment. You’re only human, after all.  But it doesn’t take long for her words to repeat in your head once more, and not even the way Carol glances down at your lips can get you out of your own head.

Before she can kiss you, you lean forward to press a quick kiss to her cheek.

“I think we’re doing okay,” you offer a small smile and pull away. “I’m gonna grab another drink and go talk to Wanda if that’s alright with you?”

“Oh. Sure, that’s fine.”

“I’ll come find you soon,” you say, squeezing Carol’s hand for good measure before you leave her to watch after you in total confusion as you walk away.

————————

“Hey, Thor. That drink still on offer?”

“Yes!” Thor says excitedly. Carol leans against the bar next to him and as soon as he’s done pouring her a drink she takes a sip.

“Oh, Jesus. I forgot how strong this shit is,” she winces and Steve laughs from the other side of Thor.

“I know, right?” He says, holding his drink up before drinking what’s left in his glass.

Carol knows to pace herself with this stuff. It affects her like absolutely nothing else. Usually, when Thor is there to offer it to her, she goes hard and ends up waking up in the bed of a total stranger with no recollection of what happened, though with a pretty good idea.

That can’t happen tonight for obvious reasons.

As Thor launches into one of his insanely eventful stories, she rests her arm on the bar and sips her drink, surveying the room until she spots you. You’re standing with Wanda, laughing at something the other woman has just said.

Something stirs inside Carol as she loosely follows along with Thor’s recounting of his journeys, all the while periodically looking for you amongst the many people crowding the room. She watches you excuse yourself from Wanda, heading over to talk to Sam and Bucky.

Somewhere in the middle of Thor recounting the events of a very graphic battle that he was apart of, Tony joins the conversation. Carol nods at him, taking another sip of her drink and doing another scan of the room. She eventually finds you in the crowd.

Having excused yourself from Sam and Bucky, you’re en-route to another group when a beautiful woman shows up seemingly out of nowhere, touching your arm to get your attention. Carol immediately freezes, her eyes locking in on the action. You stop to chat with the girl, a soft smile on your face that Carol regrettably realises she hasn’t seen all night until now.

Hey eyes stay glued to you, Thor’s stories long forgotten. Tony moves over to stand next to Carol.

“You two have done well tonight, you know?” He says, his eyes on the party in front of him.

“You’re not playing it too strong, too. The perfect amount of PDA in my opinion.” At the lack of a response, Tony turns his head to look at Carol. She clearly hasn’t paid attention to a word he’s said and he curiously turns to see whatever has Carol’s attention.

He sees you, laughing at something the unknown woman has just said. She takes a step closer to you as you take a sip of your drink. He looks back, studying the expression on Carol’s face for a moment.

“Wait a second, what exactly is happening here, Danvers? Don’t tell me you’re jealous?”

Carol’s eyes finally move from you, snapping to Tony’s.

“What? No. I’m just worried about our cover.”

Tony arches a disbelieving eyebrow. “Uh huh, I’m sure that’s exactly what you’re worried about.”

Carol glares at him, a common occurrence these days, but then her eyes are back on you, unable to help herself. She furrows her brow when the woman places her hand on your arm and keeps it there and she finally can’t watch anymore.

“Alright,” she says, grabbing her glass and downing the rest of her drink with a wince. “Nice chat, Stark, but I’ve gotta go.” She slams her glass back on the bar counter before storming off towards you without another word. Tony watches her leave.

“Yep. She’s got it so bad.”

You are so focused on the woman standing right in front of you that you jump when an arm appears at your waist.

“Hey babe,” Carol greets. She presses a kiss to your cheek and turns to the other woman, offering her nothing short of the fakest smile you’ve ever seen.

“Sorry, do you mind if I steal my girlfriend for a minute?”

To the woman’s credit, she does look a little sheepish as she steps back. “No, go right ahead.”

“Thanks,” Carol says with a bite to her tone, grabbing your hand and dragging you through the party and to one of the smaller balconies attached to the hall.

When you’re sure you’re out of sight and out of earshot from at least the majority of the party-goers you rip your hand out of Carol’s grasp and sharply turn to her, stopping her in her tracks with your glare.

“What the hell, Danvers?”

“What? I can’t just have you potentially blowing our cover like that.”

“Oh, please,” you scoff. “Our cover is just fine. Nothing was even happening. I was just talking to her.”

“Just talking? It looked like more than that to me. She was on her way to being all over you.”

“All over me like you usually are with as many random girls as you want? So now I can’t even have a regular conversation with just one girl?”

“I haven’t even looked at any other girls tonight, let alone flirted with them. And since when do you chat to women at Tony’s parties, anyway?”

You weren’t expecting the accusatory tone in Carol’s voice, and it makes you see red. You’ve done so well to keep your feelings at bay since you’d overheard Carol talking to Rhodey, but she’s finally tipped you over the edge now.

“Okay, I think I get it now. You can’t have fun and let loose like usual so now you want to make me feel like shit for talking to someone new. Is that right?”

Carol is completely caught off guard by your anger. It would have been hard for her not to notice your cold demeanour the last couple days, but now she knows for sure that all has been directed at her.

“Y/N, that’s not it-“

“Are you sure? Because I know you think I’m the one keeping on a leash but right now it’s feeling a lot like it’s the other way around.”

“What?” Carol blinks at you, trying to make sense of your words.

“Well that’s what you told Rhodey, right? You’re being held back. You can’t have any fun. You’re being kept on a leash.”

“Y/N,” Carol starts.

“Don’t try to deny it, Carol. I heard you say it.”

Everything actually makes sense to Carol now. She isn’t sure how she hadn’t pieced it together before that you’d possibly overheard her. At least now, though, she knew she could clear things up for you. Thank god, because she’s now gotten a taste of being in your bad books and she isn’t particularly enjoying it.

“I won’t deny it. I do feel like I’m being kept on a leash,” she simply says. You scoff again and shake your head, already getting ready to walk away before Carol grabs your arm to keep you in place.

“But I never said you were the one holding me back. Hell, you’re the one thing keeping me sane through this whole thing.”

You maintain your harsh glare, though you stop trying to pull your arm from her.

“I just,” she lets out a short breath and looks at you. “I’m not used to having my every move monitored so closely. I’ve never had to behaviour particularly well at these things. It’s weird and uncomfortable and it’s hard for me to deal with but you’ve helped me a hell of a lot with everything.”

Your glare softens at the vulnerability that Carol has on show for you. She’s always struggled to express her feelings. She can’t find the right words and says things the wrong way half the time and you feel stupid that you hadn’t just asked Carol directly about what you’d overheard, given her track record with miscommunication.

You’d been too in your thoughts about your feelings for Carol and her possible feelings for you that you’d read things so wrong. You made an assumption and made things so much worse. You cringe at this situation you’ve somehow managed to cause. You’re just glad it hadn’t been a lot worse and that Carol was so forgiving of your occasionally petty behaviour.

“You know better than anyone that I don’t really respond well with being told what to do.”

You chuckle lightly at her and her face brightens at the sound.

“So you’re saying that you do have fun with me, then?” Carol laughs, thankful to not have your glare aimed her way anymore.

“You already know I do. In fact, I really liked the parts of the party that we spent together tonight. You know, despite you looking like you’d rather be anywhere else but with me the entire time.”

You roll your eyes at her, not at all surprised that her smart ass comments were already making an appearance again.

“That’s not true,” you laugh and then grow serious again. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you.”

Carol blinks at you and you watch her reaction with bated breath. “Do you mean that?” She asks softly and you smile at her and nod timidly.

“It could ruin everything we have but I don’t think I can keep hiding the fact that I want to be near you all the time anymore.”

“Well I can’t really blame you for that,” Carol says, a hint of a smirk on her face and you let out a laugh and smile widely at her when she almost casually places her arms around your waist.

“Shut up, Danvers,” you mutter.

“Make me,” she promptly replies and you only wait a quick beat before you’re pressing forward and capturing her lips with yours.

If you thought your last kiss was amazing, then this kiss was something completely new all together. The fact that you’re kissing Carol because you both want to, and not because of some fake narrative, has you smiling into the kiss, knocking your teeth with Carol’s.

You pull back, both laughing, before her arms tighten around your waist and she leans in to meet your lips again. She’s tentative with her movements at first; you both are really, but like last time, you both grow more confident and she ends the kiss with a nip to your bottom lip.

“You know, I hated seeing you with that other girl,” Carol admits.

“Yeah? Well, imagine how I felt having to watch you leave with all those women at literally every party Tony throws.”

Carol bites her lip, regret on her face. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you place your arms around Carol’s neck. “We’re here now. Let’s just leave the past in the past, okay?” You peck her lips reassuringly.

“Okay,” Carol whispers against your lips, stealing one more quick kiss. “Should we go back in?”

You sigh and drop your head to Carol’s shoulder for a second. “I suppose we probably should.”

“Come on. They want to see a happy couple. Let’s show them a happy couple,” Carol says and you lift your head and smile shyly at her, your mind still racing to catch up with these unexpected turn of events.

“Sounds good to me.”

You run your hands down Carol’s shoulders, down her arms until you reach her hands and you take them in your own. Carol lifts one of your hands to her lips and presses a kiss to it, earning a blush from you and she’s unable to fight the cheesy grin that makes its way onto her face.

She walks you to the door and holds it open for you. “After you, my lady,” she says and you laugh.

“Are you going to be this cheesy and chivalrous forever now?” You ask.

“Depends. Do you want me to be?”

“I just want you to be you,” you reply as Carol follows you through the door and takes your hand again.

“And what about you? Are you going to be cheesy forever now, too?” She teases and you chuckle in response before Nat calls you over from the group she’s standing in and you’re removed from the moment you and Carol are sharing together.

Not a problem, you think. You’ve got plenty of opportunities to share even more of these moments with Carol now.

——————————

This time, when you wake up in Carol’s arms, you don’t flinch away. Instead, you wear a sleepy grin on your face and press a soft kiss to her jawline, watching her stir for a moment before she settles again, a soft smile adorning her face.

You happily snuggle closer to her, pressing your face into the crook of her neck and drifting back to sleep without a single worry on your mind for the first time in weeks.

***** Series Taglist: @lovelylittlelionx @desaulniersbriannes @outofcontextavengers @traveler-at-heart @saucy-sapphic @mysticpansy (tag didn’t work)

[dindjarindiaries]

May I request prompt 41, Overhearing they have feelings for you, with Javi? It would make my week!

character: Javier Peña

prompt: 41. Overhearing they have feelings for you (via this list of clichés)

warnings: honestly I think just some swearing

rating: R

masterlist

It’s been a slow week so far at the embassy. You, Steve, and Javier have been sitting at your clustered group of desks together for so long that you’re beginning to copy each other’s mannerisms. It’s a suffocating feeling to be stuck inside the office, knowing that there’s so much chaos going on outside—and not being able to do anything about it.

You can tell it’s been getting to Javier the most. He’s been smoking more than usual, and you often hear his heel tapping against the ground in an anxious manner. The way he flips over the pieces of paper contains a strong hint of aggression, as if his fingers are yearning to do something much more exciting but have to force themselves to remain calm. Javier’s always been fond of field work, which is just one of the many things you’ve learned about him over the years at the embassy.

Though you’re close with both your partners, it’s no secret that you and Javier have bonded the most. Steve always had Connie, but you and Javier didn’t have anyone else, and naturally you started to fill in that gap for each other. It’s never been anything more than some laughs, beers, and necessary venting sessions, but lately, you’ve been craving more. You’ve tried to suppress the feeling, though, because you know it’s not allowed. It’s always been one of those strict, unspoken rules to never be with another agent, since it puts you both in a dangerous position should the “other side” find out. So, you constantly found yourself swallowing your thoughts, trying to ignore the subtle compliments Javier always tosses at you and the tight shirts he often dresses in.

But that’s not the only reason why you’ve been pushing down your feelings. You’re also afraid of getting hurt. Javier’s been open enough with you to reveal his past, including leaving someone at the altar—and so you know commitment is an extremely difficult thing for him. His rendezvous with his informants is enough proof of that. You’re someone who would want a real relationship, one aiming for the long-term, and you believe Javier just isn’t ready for that yet. On top of that, you’re almost certain he doesn’t feel the same way about you. Flirting is just one of the many ways he teases you, and you figure it’s all a part of his act of friendship.

While your bored brain thinks of Javier, you find yourself looking up at him. His dark eyes are squinted as they focus on the transcript he’s holding in one of his hands, and his other hand rests against his forehead as a lit cigarette rests between his fingers. You can’t help noticing the bags underneath his eyes, and you feel your heart tug in concern. You’d typically dismiss it as a result of his long nights with informants, but—being neighbors with him in the apartment building—you know he hasn’t been having any informants over for quite a while, now. With all the slow work, too, you know he’s not sticking around the embassy at night.

Unable to contain your concern any longer, you start to speak out, but get cut off by the ringing of Steve’s phone. All three of you look over at it, and you and Javier give Steve earnest looks to get him to answer it. He picks up the handset, balancing it between his ear and shoulder as he straightens out the papers he’d been reading.

“Murphy,” he answers, taking the handset back in his hand as he looks between you and Javier. You don’t break your stare for fear of missing something—anything—that the people on the other end of the line could be providing. You sense it as soon as you see Steve’s eyes widen, and he reaches for a pen and piece of paper to scribble something down. Your gaze shifts to Javier, and you both exchange a look of shared surprise and excitement. Finally, your mind cries out. We got something!

Steve continues listening, getting out a quick thank-you before he hangs up the phone. He immediately stands up from his chair and claps his hands together.

“We’ve got a location on one of Escobar’s associates,” Steve informs you, causing you and Javier to rise as well. “And Carrillo’s got a driver in custody.”

“Oh shit,” Javier mutters, putting his cigarette out and beginning to open his drawer to reach for his gun.

Steve says your name. “Messina wants us to get the associate,” he continues. “Peña, Carrillo wants you in on the interrogation.”

Javier freezes at that. You’re still doing what you need to, grabbing your gun and making your desk neat. You also stop, however, when the voice of Javier suddenly speaks so sternly that you feel every muscle in your body tighten up tensely: “No.”

Steve raises his brow at Javier. “No? What the fuck do you mean ‘no,’ Javi?”

When you look to Javier, you’re surprised to find him staring straight at you, and confusion fills you as you raise an eyebrow at him. You swear you see a flash of desperation in his dark eyes as he switches his gaze over to Steve. “I need to talk to you.”

“Right now?” Steve scoffs. “Javi, we haven’t had shit for a week, and now you decide—.”

“Please, just get in the fucking office, Murphy!” Javier’s voice has never wavered quite like that in front of you before, and you feel a pit grow in your stomach as you wonder what could possibly be going on with him. Steve must be feeling the same way, because he makes his way silently into the soundproof office sitting just a few strides beyond your desks, and Javier follows him inside. You hear the door close and you sigh heavily, hoping it’ll ease the nerves you’ve suddenly gained at Javier’s unusual behavior.

You still, however, hear voices drifting from near the office. When you look back at it, you see that Javier had closed the door so hard that it didn’t actually close—and the door is open just a crack. If you go stand by it, you’ll be able to hear what Javier’s saying, and hopefully you can make yourself calm down before the risky mission you’re about to embark on. Trying to stay as light on your feet as possible, you creep closely to the door, waiting to stop until you’re just able to make out what’s being said.

“… don’t understand, Javi,” you can hear Steve saying with frustration. “We’ve been sitting here all damn week waiting for somethin’, and now that we’ve got it, you’re bein’ picky about what to do! You’ve been the antsiest out of all of us!”

“I’m not being ‘picky,’ Murphy!” Javier exclaims back. “Listen, I—I got my reasons, okay? But I need you to let me go on that mission with her.”

You raise an eyebrow at the mention of your name. “Why? ‘Cause you’re mad you’re not out in the field?”

“No, no, I just—fuck, Steve, I told you, I got my reasons!” Javier sounds more flustered than you’ve ever heard him before, and that pit in your stomach makes itself known once again. “It’s gonna be dangerous where you are, and I… I gotta be able to keep my eye on her.” Javier had said the last part so fast that you almost didn’t catch it, but when your brain processes it, your heart starts to pound against your chest. An eye on me? Why?

You can hear Steve sigh loudly. “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. You’ve been workin’ with her for how many years, and you still don’t trust her?”

“It’s not about trust, Steve! Fuck.” Javier’s frustration is evident, and you try to tune out the roaring of your blood in your ears as you wait for what he’ll say next. “I just need to be there. With her.”

“Why, Peña? You know damn well she doesn’t need you. So, why? Why are you tryin’ to convince me of this?”

“Because, Steve, I love her, alright?”

Your heart nearly stops on the spot. He… he loves me? I couldn’t have heard that right. There’s no way.

There’s silence. “Javi… this ain’t fuckin’ funny, man. Don’t joke about that.” Steve, obviously, can’t believe it, either.

“I’m serious, Steve. On my life. Is it not fucking obvious?” You release a breath you didn’t realize you’ve been holding, still unable to believe what’s happening.

“Fuck, Javi. Fuck.”

“You’re telling me.” You hear Javier let out a heavy sigh before he continues. “I know, it’s bad, and I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it, Steve. I’ve barely been able to sleep at night, thinking about what could happen to her. And I can’t let her go out and do something this dangerous without being there with her. Imagine you having to do this with Connie.”

Steve’s silent for a moment, and you hear some pacing around the room. “Damn, Javi, I never took you for the type. But… I’ll see what I can do. Alright?”

There’s more silence, and then you hear Steve start walking towards the door. He suddenly stops, and you hear Javier’s voice next. “Thank you.”

You try to move, but you’re frozen to your spot, so when Steve comes out of the door, he nearly runs right into you. His eyes widen at your close presence, likely realizing that you’ve just heard everything that’s gone down.

“Give me a minute,” you say, pushing past him to head inside the office before Javier can leave. You close the door behind you—effectively this time—and see Javier leaning against the wall with one arm crossed over his chest and the other pinching the bridge of his nose. At your presence, he looks up, his dark eyes changing from desperation to surprise.

“What’re you doing?” Javier questions. “Aren’t you supposed to be—?”

He’s cut off by you walking over to where he is, unable to do anything else other than kiss him with all the passion you feel in your heart. Your body melts against his, your stomach soaring at the relieving feeling of his mouth on yours. Once he gets over his initial shock at your rash action, Javier begins to respond, his hands finding your waist as he pulls you even closer to him. Your hands brush through his thick hair, coming down to press against the back of his neck as you crave even more of him. His hands brush up your sides in a gentle yet fervent manner, stopping once he reaches your ribs. Eventually, you find yourself needing to breathe, and you pull away from him with a lingering gaze. Javier rests his forehead against yours, searching your eyes for some sort of explanation.

“You need to learn how to close a damn door, Peña,” you tease, giggling as you speak. Javier’s cheeks turn red, and you smile as you leave a few kisses along his jaw. When you lean back again, your gaze locks into his. “I love you, too.”

Javier can’t contain the smile he shows back down at you, and—just like you before—he can’t think of doing anything else other than kissing you again.