#please im crying so much its not even funny

[numberonetacostan]

sigh…. i have devastating news…. i have no tacopad hcs for Christmas!!!!!!(im crying this audio is KILLING ME)

and im STARVING for some tacopad for Christmas(not even a fanfiction for it. sighs.) so please if u can brainstorm some give tacopad hcs Christmas related or not?

not asking for tacomic bc it’s overrated rn all i need is tacopad rn SOBS

car image

Hi Nori!!!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for contacting me!!!!! I can see you're having an emergency, so I am typing this as I am at the table with my family!!!!!!!! >:) (Mushy if you're reading this I was working on your Taco in iii au question when I got called downstairs ITS COMING SOON I PROMISE)

TACOPAD HEADCANONS!!!!! And we're gonna put Mepad alive in post-canon for more freedom!!!!! ;]

• Taco always keeps the door to her room locked, because it makes her feel safer. It works out, because Mepad can always just teleport himself in!!! If she's in there having a good cry, Mepad can warp in and take care of her.

• Taco and Mepad once laid down next to each other, and Trophy asked if it was Flat Fuck Friday already. Mepad had to teleport them away so Taco could keep up her non-violent streak.

• here's a holiday one!!! Everyone wanted to get a verrrrry nice present for Mepad after how much he helped them, throughout season 2 and during the finale. Taco and Toilet had to help almost everyone pick out their present, though, since they were the only two who knew what he would like. The others would resolve to get to know him better!!^^

• Taco could also emotionally support Mepad!!!! We don't talk enough about this, we including me. Mepad, in the finale, fully over came his obedience programming in the finale, he is feeling more than he ever has before!!! He is, for the most part, in charge of himself now. Taco has big feelings that she has trouble handling, and she's been fully independent for years, even if it was a negative for her. And she's working on listening to the people around her more!!!! She can help Mepad with figuring out what he wants (the correct answer is that he wants HER) and what he likes!!!!!

• they would end up under the mistletoe and get called out on it by Goo. Little guy loves love he'd want everyone to give everyone kisses because he loves all of his friends and wants them to love each other and be friends. Taco would not know what it means and Mepad would look it up for her. They'd end up having a whole discussion about it and other traditions since it's both of their first times actually celebrating Christmas. Goo would get bored after a few minutes and leave.

• Taco would get really into the dreidel tournament. Mepad loses early since it would probably be pretty hard to spin a dreidel without arms, so he roots for Taco most of the time^^ I think it would be really funny if it came down to Taco and OJ. She can finally beat him and get the (chocolate) money!!!!!

[shoyoackerman]

Not even lying when i say tristamp soundtrack actually as me fucking bawling because its just so beautiful. Especially when i think about each specific scene attached to the audios. Im in tears yall please 😭

[ratatatastic]

or alternatively dweeb meets other dweeb more news at 11

LIGHT. LIGHT IN HIS EYES. LOOK AT EM BIG OLE EYES. LOOK AT HIM TOUCH HIS JERSEY.

GLORY BE TO THE MIKKSY SIGNED JERSEY RAAAAAAAAA

CanesWear Signing | 7.1.24

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

[kiraijinn]

Raaaaa grrrr bark bark grr woof woof

[quixotical-lymbo]

AAAA HIIII‼️‼️ LOWKEY UR ONE OF THE BLOGS IVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH BUT FARRRRR TOO SCARED TO INTERACT WITH BC IM LIKE THAT, BUT IM TWEAKING OVER D16 RNNNN 😭😭

If its not too much to ask but could i req for some basic D16 hcs or a drabble with a child reader or possibly his child? (IDK HOW AGE AND CHILDREN WORK IN CYBERTRON LMAOO) I really dont mind what you make IM OBSESSED WITH UR WRITINGGG!!

Please take care of urself and eat drink and sleep!! Love the work, keep it up!!!

Pairing: D-16 &  gn!sparkling!Reader Rating: SFW Summary: headcanons of D-16 taking care of his sparkling :3 Warnings/Tags: Canon divergence, pre-canon, cybertronian reader, fluff, family shenanigans, Orion Pax can be viewed as a second father figure/uncle, angst, and typical family dynamics A/N: ahh!! ty! don't be afraid to interact with me :) and writing this was so fun! I had some help from @skelswritingcorner headcanon about sparklings.  Word Count: 1300+ words 

How you two met 

🟡 It was really funny. 

🟡 Ok, no it wasn't. D-16 could've imagined anything else happening during the cycle, anything but something falling on top of his head while he was taking a stroll around Iacon. 

🟡 It was a weird…mini-bot thingy that looked unordinary. If D-16 had to describe you in a few words, it would be tiny, small, and helpless. 

But…the way your optics online as you took in your surroundings and your big, wide optics stared into his own awoke some protective instinct within him. So, he carefully tucked you in his arms and hurried back to the mines. 

Early dynamics 

🟡 D-16 treated you like you were made out of glass, it didn't help that the dust and other particles around the mines made your systems irritated to the point of crying. 

🟡 Oh Primus, the first time you wailed loudly, every bot starred in his direction as the noises shrieking from his chassis area increased. D-16 had to quickly excuse himself to the showers and hide in there with you to shush you. 

🟡 Overtime, D-16 learned how to tend to your needs and taking care of you became easier with each passing deca-cycle. 

Current Dynamics 

🟡 Who knew a little bot like you who ate little, chirp, scream a bit,  slept a lot, and couldn't walk would be easy to take care of. 

🟡 Oh man, once you've grown enough to stand on your own two pedes, things get harder for D-16 as he now has to keep a closer optic on you at all times. 

🟡 You had a knack for getting into places you shouldn't be in and D-16's spark nearly stopped when he caught you trying to sneak inside of a mining shaft. You were scolded, of course, but that didn't stop you from trying again.

🟡 As tiring as it is to watch over you, D-16 felt it was worth it if it meant seeing your bright smile each time. 

Uncle Pax 

🟡 Ok, so. Remember the incident when D-16 first brought you in? Well, Orion wasn't too far on D-16's tailpipe. When he saw what his best friend brought into the showers, he was…excited?

🟡 "Why are you smiling so-" 

🟡 "Do you realize what you have in your servos right now?! That's a sparkling!" 

🟡 "????"

🟡 "Dude, I read about them and they-" 

🟡 Orion goes into detail about the records he's skimmed about tiny cybertronians who were referred to as sparklings. 

🟡 The old records hypothesize that they were an alternative way to produce bots in large quantities, there were downsides to this method since the bots that came out were…not up to par with being on their own unless someone cared for them. 

🟡 There's a theory that the method was abandoned due to how much time it takes for these sparklings to grow and be a part of society. No one has seen a sparkling since, and those that already grew up from being sparklings are a scarce number. 

🟡 To say Orion was siked that D-16 practically held a living relic in his servos was an understatement, he even proposed to take over caring for the sparkling as their 'sire.' A term, D-16 later learned was the role given to bots who created a close, familial bond with these sparklings. 

🟡 D-16, for some reason, decided to decline Orion's offer but allowed him to help whenever he could 

🟡 And help Orion did. Much to D-16's displeasure of his friend encouraging his sparkling to get into trouble.

🟡 Heading off into the archives together became a pastime for you two. 

🟡 Even if your sire got mad when your uncle almost got caught by the high guards, it was fun clinging to his back as he jumped through hoops to get away from them.

🟡 Keeping you hidden from others was important, but your uncle adding a bit of fun in your life made it bearable when you were kept away from the light of day. 

Affection? 

🟡 D-16 and you will sometimes butt helms as a form of affection, especially after a petty spat.

🟡 Hugs are on the table and D-16 loves embarrassing you with a bear hug, might even make kissy faces until you squeal and pull yourself out of his arms

🟡 All and all, D-16 has physical touch as a love language (helm pats, arm rubs, scooping you up and throwing you in the air, etc). 

Arguments? 

🟡 Speaking of keeping you hidden, you couldn't understand why your sire didn't want others to see you

🟡 You did nothing wrong, but your sire was having none of it.

🟡 "Do you want to be taken away from me and Pax?" 

🟡 Same old excuse did nothing to stop you from sneaking out at night and exploring the streets of Iacon

🟡 Trying to sneak back in was the harder part, because D-16 would already notice your absence and panic. You always have an earful waiting for you when you get back home.

 

🟡🟡🟡 Drabble 1: Bundle of Joy 🟡🟡🟡

"Alright! Time to switch with the night crew, make way everybody!" The command from the captain of the mining crew felt like a blessing. Orion wiped the coolant from his forehelm and glanced around the area, making sure that no one was watching–he made his way towards the exit while every bot spoke among each other. 

Up ahead, a familiar jaundice-eyed mech approaching with something behind his back. 

As the two near each other, a single nod was exchanged before the bundle in D-16's servo was passed off to Orion.

Orion continued walking out of the mines until he reached a safe distance to unwrap the bundle and cooed as your bright (o/c)'s came into view. He wiggled a digit in your face and couldn't stop the smile growing on his dermas as you grasped his digit and giggled. 

"Come on, we have a berth time story with our designations on it."

Orion carefully tucked you in his arm and walked toward the shared quarters. 

  

🟡🟡🟡Drabble 2: Goodbye, for now. 🟡🟡🟡

"Oh? What's this…or rather, who?" 

You shrieked as you were plucked from behind your sire's knelt form. 

"No-! Let them go!" D-16 was quick to lunge for Sentinel and was knocked back by the guards and their weapons. 

"Ah ha! So this was the little relic I've been hearing so much about?" Sentinel held you up by the back of your neck cables and rotated you like some sort of spectacle."I remember when you guys existed, a shame I'll have no use for you, but my wall is missing a new mount…" 

"You monster!" B-127 shouted as he attempted to stand but was also shoved to the ground by a weapon. 

Sentinel was about to say some witty remark when a large shadow pounced on him. Chaos erupted as D-16 tackled the false Prime and began raining his fists on Sentinel. The guards all came to Sentinel's aid, which gave Bee enough time to break free, slice down a guard that tried taking you and scooped you up from the ground. 

"Hey little dude, everything's ok, ok-?" Bee bounced you in his arms as the tears on your face continued forming at the edge of your optics. Where was your sire? 

A loud crash caught your and Bee's attention as the two whipped helms as a large hole appeared in the wall of Sentinel's office. Your sire and Sentinel were nowhere to be found. 

"Ok…let's go help Dee!" Bee glanced around the damaged space before running out.

Everything happened way too fast for your little processor to make anything make sense. In one second, your sire's friend—and practically your secondary sire—was falling in a hole, then your sire…did something bad but B-127 covered your optics before you could see what happened, and then you were carried toward the dome's roof staring at the unfamiliar mech before you.

"Go…Take the high guard and leave, you are banished from Iacon." Optimus Prime paused, his optics flickering toward the trio slowly approaching. Elita-1, B-127, and…you. 

"It didn't have to end this way," Optimus returned his gaze to his former friend. 

"...this isn't over, Prime." Megatron seethed. 

The two momentarily paused as your small voice called out to your sire. Megatron's optics dimmed as he lowered his helm, a tense silence followed before Megatron finally raised his helm and spoke, "Keep the liability with you, I don't have room for any weaknesses. Not anymore." 

"..." Optimus Prime refused to speak, fearing that his voice would've matched the growing pain in his spark. 

Megatron huffed before limping away and commanding the high guard to follow him. 

B-127 grunted as you wiggled and trashed in his hold, trying to get to your sire and-

Your teary gaze watched in shock as your sire, your only family, your world up and left you behind. Your fans kicked in as you lost the ability to breathe, your vision grew blurry as the wails in your intake were stomped by the lump causing a croaked sob to leave you. 

You buried your faceplate in the B-127's chassis. 

B-127 and Elita-1 shared a glance, one twisted with pain for the crying sparkling and the other hesitation. B-127 turned to look at the new Prime and found he had already made his way over and reached for you. 

B-127 handed you off to the larger mech and Optimus rubbed your back, shushing and whispering comforting words in your audial. 

"We…have a lot of work to do, for now, we all deserve a rest." Optimus murmured to the other two. Elita-1 already understood Optimus's hidden intention and took charge as she directed her attention to the awaiting crowd of bots. 

B-127 glanced between Elita-1 and Optimus before joining Elita. Optimus turned his attention to you.

"Do not worry, little one, I'm here." Optimus reassured. "I will not leave you, not now, not ever." 

"...promise?" 

Optimus smiled for the first time since he came back from being offline. 

"I promise." 

😼 - I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. like my writing? consider buying me a kofi :)

banner(s) by @kodaswrld !!

[81folklore]

heaven - PIASTRI - part 2

pairings: oscar piastri x private!secret!reader (fc: gracie abrams)

summary: a very sweet softlaunch ends pretty quickly

authors notes: first of all a huge thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged and taken the time to read my works it means so much to me and im so so grateful!! next, this is something i made at 1am so please bear with me😭. i am working on the lando and charles stories i PROMISE but i want them to be special and i currently have zero thoughts about where to take them so it might be a while🫣 also i almost finished this when tumblr DELETED IT?? i want to cry😁 ALSO i started this at like 1am and i cant be asked to do tweets rn so insta smau it is

masterlist heaven masterlist

yourusername

liked by yourfriend2, user7 and 583 others

ahahah i love the beach and my friends

view comments

yourfriend2: dont be fooled she called me crying after the fourth photo bcs she lost 5 games of uno in a row

yourusername: i called you in confidence and this is how you repay me??

user6: its fine we know how emotional uno can get😁

yourusername: ??

user7: im so single hahahahhaa (im dying inside)

user10: is it confirmed that this is oscar?

user9: im not being funny but oscar doesnt even follow her so i think yous are just reaching

user10: …they have the same dog??

yourfriend6: might aswell post his face at this point

yourusername: leave me aloneeee im having fun!!

oscarpiastri

liked by clementnovalak, paularon_ and 93,357 others

second part of the season incoming 😁👊 (after a very competitive round of uno)

view comments

user7: ready to see you up on the podium🧡

user10: uno you say?

user3: right could they be more obvious😭

yourusername: its race week babyyy

*liked by oscarpiastri*

user17: literally what is happening why are all of the grid softlaunching😭

user8: and why does it always end in the hardest of launches

yourusername and oscarpiastri added to their stories

yourfriend2: 😭😭

yourusername: i am sick and tired i just want to POST him but softlaunches are so fun😔

yourfriend2: its really fun when everyone already knows?

yourusername: no but we are in too deep now☹️

user6: god you guys are insufferable

user23: JUST POST THE CUTE COUPLE PHOTOS ALREADY

user23: i lied please dont im so single it hurts

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 6,572 others

the world through my eyes☀️

view comments

oscarpiastri: i love you sososo much

oscarpiastri: my favorite person in the entire world

yourusername: ur literally my sunshine🫶

yourfriend1: god you make me SICK

yourusername: ..okay😁 oscarpiastri i love youuu🤭

landonorris: i hate people in love (you guys are very cute)

user10: THE NOTE OH

user18: THE HARDEST OF LAUNCHES HAPPENED

user7: he is her world oh my lord

user63: and the fact that hes her sunshine too😭😭

user63: literally crying myself to sleep

oscarpiastri

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 143,572 others

my happiness

view comments

yourusername: teheehee thats me🤭

yourusername: i LOVE YOUUU

yourusername: i didnt know you took photos of me like this☹️

oscarpiastri: of course your my favorite🧡

yourusername: oh could you get any cuter🫠

yourfriend4: thought you should know yn is currently jumping up and down and giggling while looking at this

user23: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST THESE?? I CANT HANDLE THIS??

user8: god really saw me sad and said ‘heres the happiest and best couple, wallow more’

user16: YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST?? THE NOTES?? THE POSTS??

user1: i cant stand people in love (i want to cry and drown in my tears)

yourusername: oh my god im so obsessed with you

oscarpiastri: i loooove youuu

oscarpiastri added to their story

yourusername: ahhhhh im so☹️

yourusername: osc☹️☹️ur literally the cutest thing to exist

yourusername: my boys🫶🫶

yoursusername: im so in love with you sunshine☀️

oscarpiastri: love you, thank you for showing me happiness🤍

[1-800-be-my-baby]

rafe x bitch!reader pt.2

MDNI 18+ | pt. 1 here warnings: spanking, orgasm denial, unprotected p in v, creampie, semi public sex, that's it i think let me know if i missed any

with the knowledge of how mad you left rafe, you can't stop the smile that slowly creeps onto your face. however, your victory doesn't last long. a large hand roughly grabs the back of your neck, yanking you back until you collide into a hard surface. not even needing to look up you already know who it is.

"you think you're reallll funny huh?"

"rafe-"

"shut up. you're gonna listen to what i gotta say or shit is only gonna get worse for you, understand?" you attempt to pull out of his hold, his grip only tightening with your lack of response.

"rafe let me go!"

"nah, think you can pull that kinda shit? disrespecting me in front of everybody. i think you need to be taught some respect." the implication of his words cause goosebumps to coat your skin. dragging you to his truck, he opens the door to the backseat. "get in. don't make me force you."

you open your mouth, a protest ready to escape. before you get the chance he lifts you up, practically throwing you into the truck. the fear of what's to come causes heat to pool in your lower stomach. rafe climbs in behind you, slamming the door.

in a blink of a eye your bent over his lap, a harsh slap landing on your ass. rafe kisses his teeth, "thinkin' you can talk to me like that, must've lost your damn mind."

an influx of salty tears begin gathering at your waterline, each smack to your ass harder than the last. you jolt forward, causing your clit to rub against his thigh. a laugh escapes rafe when he hears the small whimper that forces its way out of you.

"should've known a greedy slut like you would get off on this. you're probably soaked."

"rafe please! ill be good, i promise. just stop!" tears have started to cascade down your cheeks, leaving streaks of mascara in its wake.

"shoulda thought about that before. 10 more, you can do it baby." rafe places one last harsh slap, sobs now racking your body. he softly runs his hands over the now red and broken skin. "see, knew you could do it." laying you face down on the seat, he rips the shorts of your body.

"rafe not here! people might see!"

"didn't care about that when you were running that big fucking mouth of yours. now its my turn not to care." you recognize the sound of rafe pulling his pants down, and without warning he slams his length into you. "fuck. so tight, this pussy was made for me i swear."

as the pain from the stretch subsides, you let out a loud cry, his tip hitting your cervix with each thrust. "not so much to say now, huh?"

with the way his cock is hammering into your weeping cunt you can't find it in you to respond. you harshly grip onto the door, needing something- anything to ground you. he pushes your head further into the seat, allowing him to hit your g spot continuously. all you can do is let out pornographic moans, the pleasure so overwhelming you don't know what to do with yourself. your head is foggy with lust and you're beyond cock drunk. rafe begins to thrust into you impossibly harder, jaw clenched so hard he feared it might break. he snakes a hand around your front, rubbing harsh circles against your clit. his thrusts become sloppy he nears his release.

your cunt clenches against him as your orgasm threatens to explode out of you. before you can cum his hips still, his hot seed filling you, the mixture of your arousal running down your thighs. a loud whine leaves your throat at your orgasm being ripped away from you.

rafe lets out a laugh from behind you. "oh im sorry, did you think i was gonna let you cum? disrespectful sluts don't get to cum. be grateful i gave you dick at all." he pulls out of you, pulling his shorts back up. "get dressed." he hands your shorts to you before getting out of the car and hopping into the drivers seat.

after getting dressed you slide into the passenger seat, your makeup now ruined from tear stains. he takes you back to tanneyhill, your punishment far from over.

tag list: @niyahwhoreworld @sadgrl99 @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

[genderlessdude92]

Hi, I really love your work! If your requests are open and if it's allowed, can I request for headcanons of Vox/Val/Alastor/Lucifer with their biological baby w reader?? I'm sorry if this is weird I just die for family dynamics😭😭 like, how would they act, would they be present or neglectful, and that stuff!! Ik it's impossible to have a child in hell but HEY. ITS FICTIONAL. It's really your decision if this is super fluff or super angst, but personally I believe it would be angst because it's hell and they are really famous 😭 THANKU

AUTHOR RESPONSE: First ask but urmmmmmm OFC OFC OFC!!! I’m all in for dis req :3 I feel like i absolutely will eat up Al’s part of this post so stay tuned. Other ones are questionable because idk if it’s OOC or not but…I’m just a girl!! >.< (I’m a genderless dude as you can see from the name ^^) I’m sorry i’m not funny- These might be short btw im rushing a little bit bc i’m trying to start a multi-chapter fix yay awesome but uhhh i’m still having fun with this 💋

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

AL, VOX, VAL, & LUCI WITH THEIR BIOLOGICAL CHILD

(and reader that gave birth to em somehow <3)

PAIRINGS: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, Vox x Reader, Valentino x Fem!Reader (ALL SEPARATE) SUMMARY: Alastor, Lucifer, Vox, and Valentino are dads now. Aw shucks. (Headcannons) WARNINGS: MINORS DNI. Breeding kink, (obv bc Val is in here), Val mention, reader is female because they literally gave birth to them, mentions of pregnancy, birth, Valentino being a weird fuck, Valentino again, unhealthy duck obsession in Lucifer’s area, Breastfeeding, Cannibalism, physical slaps, everybody being nervous shots but Vox, really rushed, lmk if i missed anything pookie (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

NOTICE: please don't copy or steal or translate any of my work or you will be haunted in your dreams and i will spawn something unpleasant at your porch the next day. But...thanks for liking my work !! >.< Property of @l4zyb0n35 and @genderlessdude92

Requests are open, support is highly appreciated!

〰ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ..。.:*･ﾟ♫₊ ♪ *♬‧₊enjoy!~

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

-Alastor is 100% nervous at first since he has to be the dad and his dad wasn’t…the best!! ^^

-But also doesn’t want to back away because, I mean, it’s kinda rude to just walk away from your creation that you INTENDED to make real.

-This gentleman’s baby was not an accident, I assure you.

-Alastor would absolutely dangle the baby off the edge of a balcony just to tease you.

-Also tried to feed the baby devil meat to make it a cannibal.

-Suprisingly worked.

-Um.

-He probably got taught to knit by Rosie so if the baby ever needs clothes he’s on it.

-Cradles the baby during his radio show hours, aw, and if the baby ever cries he immediately cuts to a quick song break.

-If both you and Alastor are like completely booked and can’t take care of the baby, he’s giving it to Rosie.

-Rosie can’t? Charlie.

-Charlie can’t? Cancelling all plans.

-He just cares for his bloodline, yeah?

-If the baby ever needs like a chewy sensory toy, he’s going to try and get one that resembles Lucifer.

-Like and apple or a snake OOO A SNAKE NVM

-Snake is better since it resembles two ppl mwuhehehe

-Alastor would be a great girl dad but in general i think he would be rlly doting to them.

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

-Oh, you thought Alastor was nervous?

-Oh, you’re so funny.

-‘Cuz Lucifer is QUAKING once he finds out you’re pregnant.

-and expecting.

-…and that it’s alive and out the womb.

-Basicslly all because he wasn’t really in Charlie’s life that much.

-But you told him that this can be a second chance?

-Which made him cry more than he was before.

-Yikes.

-Feeds the baby the most fine meals to ever exist for a baby to eat, even tried to sneak in some wine in its milk bottle.

-Then earned a slap at the back of his head from yours truly.

-You.

-I see him as a helicopter parent at first, but then is just chill once they grow more older.

-But he’s like, devoting his immortal LIFE to this baby 24/7.

-The nursery is themed ducks.

-Everywhere.

-Sometimes you get dizzy when you walk in.

-He even wanted to name the baby duck.

-You slapped him again, of course.

-This man acts like a 8th grade frat boy whenever you breast feed the baby like he just scoots away gagging.

-Another slap.

IM SORRY-

-One time in bed you guys were like getting freaky or sum and then you but his nip

-“Honey…what was that?”

-“That’s just how it feels, Luci.”

-“…What?-“

-“When i breastfeed B/N.”

-“…Ew.”

-“BITCH I-“

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

-Bro is so confident in being a dad.

-The first day after the baby was born he cancelled all his special guests on his show just for the baby to be the only one.

-This man is fucking insane.

-Puts this baby on his. advertisements.

-We’re talking billboards, pop-ups, etc.

-Only lets his supervisor babysit the baby when needed.

-Don’t expect Velvette or Val to even step foot near this baby without Vox in the room.

-It’s like a sibling love-hate relationship :D

-Now i wouldn’t say this baby was on purpose…most likely?

-But honestly, it might happen again because he thinks you’re hot pregnant.

-Who said that what.

-Omg who typed that???

-Fuck this is so short uhhh He like puts on child shows for the baby if they sit in his lap.

-But the baby never ever sleeps in the bed you guys share.

-not in a million years.

-Puts those shirts that look like tuxedos on the baby but they’re just printed on.

-Feeds the baby deer meat.

-Has a deer head mounted above the baby’s crib.

-Takes him deer hunting.

-Vox just needs em to learn early.

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠. ◠ . ◠ . ◠ . ◠

-Valentino was “so, so careful” when you guys did it.

-and this baby was 100% and accident.

-obviously you guys couldn’t abortion because like some health reason.

-Val cried that night.

-It was kinda funny that he was crying to keeping a baby.

sorry not sorry

-When the baby is born,

-Oh god should i write that

-Uh

-He’s probably recording.

-Not posting just like…saving it.

-Guys, come on, it Valentino, you should’ve seen this coming.

-Deletes it later though fuck that’s hilarious.

-He starts whining and crying when he sees you breastfeeding.

-“Your wasting the milk, mi precioso, are you kidding me?”

-He’s like in the middle of being a good dad and a bad dad.

-Suprised he made it that far on the scale.

-whenever he’s busy, he gives the baby to some random star and tells them to bring them back by like 10:30 or smth.

-with a coffee order. Very iconic.

-Same idea with Vox and liking you pregnant, and tried to get you pregnant again but you ask him why he doesn’t have a condom on if you don’t have your pills.

-He gets frustrated when that happens lol.

-Can’t wake up the baby!

proceeds to wake them up each night

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

END NOTES: zomg this was sososo fun to write <3 But it’s so fucking short and i didn’t even realize until i was done. I’m actually so sorry. I still like these headcannons, very humorous, very real, thank you for asking me to make this because this is my first ask i got, i still have exactly 16 more, so ur just a little lucky duck, asker. Support is appreciated! New multi-chapter fix i’m working on might be posted on Friday-Sunday!! Baiiii!!!!

-Lynn

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩

Masterlist Link

[austinsastrology8991]

> Ascendant Aspects < How you Appear to be, and how your treated based off your appearances > why you look like a clown without makeup

Ascendant aspecting Sun - I like your smile. Did you put it on for me, or for yourself? yes your charismatic, yes we noticed why your so confident, yes your literally the greatest person do you really need us to shower you in affection all the fkn time? your extra but too many toppings ruin a good pizza. your the embodiment of the cheesy smile from that cat in alice in wonderland. main character energy for sure you get the attention and you know how to use it Ascendant Aspecting moon - 🌚 < dont they look like that.? idk but you guys look like someone you want to grab the cheeks of and treat like a baby, your like a sugar glider. but we know your emotional so we have to be careful with how we grab your cheeks 👀 please stop crying its just a joke > also; big ass eyes. you are so sweet that everyone just wants to take you home and feed you till you become so obese you cant leave Ascendant Aspecting Mercury - the most devilish and cheeky smile all at once. they look like a kid about to do something bad, or have just been caught doing something bad and are now trying to explain why they had to do that dumbassery. but no matter how much you explain yourself, we will still question you because its funny watching you come up with explanations. you give me the vibe of any character from cartoon network or nickledoen - timmy turner, southpark, phineas and ferb, ed edd and eddy, or fkn bart simpson, you act like a cartoon yes.

Ascendant Aspecting Venus - I dont normally do this but whats ur number? is what your used to hearing presumably. and its not necessarily because your attractive... okay you are, you can stop pouting now. but its because you know how to get attention and you clearly love getting it. but they act so superficial, and oblivious sometimes... like they purposrfully look away just so its easier for you to look at them, 💀 then they look back playfully and it gets you in the feels. remind me of doctor who's bitches (any of them) they all act the same idc what you say

Ascendant Aspecting Mars - so pissed off lol but its hot. they are fierce > if they want something they are going to get it, and even the mere consideration of negotiating what they want will just get them more mad. which makes them more attractive? idk people love their ferocity, and as much as people say they don't like aggressive types, they don't ever get in their way when they pissed off (ik because im hot head) your basically a hornet > and no one gonna fight a hornet without the proper precautions Ascendant aspecting Jupiter - Yall are excellent at impressions and being impressionable, idk how you do it so well. You just act normal but then pull off this funny shit and return back to normal like its nothing. you guys perfected just being, and this energy makes people want to be around you. Your like a firework, the explosion is awesome, but when it goes away your like damn that was awesome wish it stayed; but thats what makes it so good, because we never know when its coming, and when its gone we want it back lol Ascendant Aspecting Saturn - batman without the mask sucks. thats you. batman without the mask.... why so serious???? > "because life shouldnt be taking for granted and fuckery aint apart of my Repertoire" - is some whack ass shit yall would say. you have great dignity, but people get insecure around you because your on top of your shit. oh and you tell people to get on top of their shit all the fkn time lol. > your like a crow, you look like one and act like one. - Side note- one time i had a stand off with a crow: I was chilling at home and i was on top of these tile blocks, then this crow came along. I tried to scare him, by like staunching him just a bit. but he responded by gripping the tree branch he was perched on, by twisting his claw foot; and he did it with so much ferocity it made this bone cracking noise (from the strength of his grip gripping the tree) and suddenly i was intimated.... by a fkn crow. okay moving on

Ascendant Aspecting Uranus - how did you even become like that. no one really understands why you act the way you do, you do some really eccentric things which are eye grabbing but also disturbing the more you think about it. your like a sword fish. theres probably more effective ways to kill fish, but i mean a sword works, we are just wondering how you attached a sword to your face. also try to calm down, you doing so much and acting so bizarre that im actually more worried about you, even though im laughing my ass off. Ascendant Aspecting Neptune - your like a mirror of all that i ever could want in a person, and this mysterious allure you so easily pull off is truly enchanting. its like being around you makes it feel as if reality can so easily be readjusted into what i would like it to be. but this quality of urs is addicting, and no wonder people project onto you. but you cant even blame them, you literally shapeshift into whatever you want, and typically you like to show it off. your like a chameleon. or a axolotl Ascendant Aspecting Pluto - you scare people easily lol. your a spider. but spiders are sexy.... look at the BUNDA. okay but those teeth yeesh, have you ever seen a spider like lick its lips, bro its fkn scary. theres a reason arachnophobia is the most popular phobia and its because spiders are fucked. and yall are fucked. you move like a spider, and i swear to god you smile like one too lol. but people low key wanna be eaten by a spider..... so go ahead choose yo prey you fkn creepy crawler

[writingstoraes]

no way 📹

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reporter!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: i want to say thank you for 1.5k! thank u for all the love you guys have been giving me and my works hehe <3 i really appreciate all notes, reblogs, replies, and messages hehe much love to everyone reading this! ❤️

about: fans notice how charles loses his senses when you're interviewing him, but they don't believe he has enough courage to do something about it!

yourusername

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, and 563,103 others

yourusername Back in the paddock once again 🎤

norristri not charles liking this within a minute of being posted 😭😭

ferrari1655 not surprised if he has her notifs on tbh he's just as whipped for her as we are

mercmilton THE it girl of the paddock i don't make the rules!

c2champs y/n please do some content with charles and carlos i am begging

charles_leclerc ❤️

hamilnicos u a grown ass handsome man surely you can do more than just a red heart

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, estebanocon, and 431,025 others

yourusername Some paddock coverage this week 👩‍💻

chacha16 oh i just know charles is fuming y/n interviews everyone often but him 😭

sainzstappen all he had with her was one post-race interview and he was down bad already and STUTTERING lecstulips she had him giggling and shit while talking about his rear tyre failure prior to qualifying its so funny 😭

paddockgirlie Charles has once again beaten me to liking Y/N's post he is like lightning oh my god

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️

chacha16 the two hearts is sending me charles im so sorry HHHDDBHFBHFBH

rbrwinners you dropped this queen 👑

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, and 540,195 others

yourusername Covering and reporting this week's race from the garage of a certain Italian racing team ❤️

Can't wait for you guys to watch the contents we had prepared!

charles_leclerc We loved having you here! ❤️

sainzbaby lose the "we" charles we all know it was just you

hamilecs ITS HAPPENING OH MY GOD CHARLES GET UP

gaslysgirlie i love how charles is just fuelling the agenda that he has a crush on y/n he's not even trying to be discreet

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, pierregasly, and 302,294 others

yourusername Some outtakes from today! Had a nice time filming with charles_leclerc and carlossainz55 of Ferrari ❤️

charles_leclerc Til next time, Y/N! :)

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️ ilpredesti the smiley face oh hes so adorable

lecsmilton i just KNOW charles is having a field day rn

c2foreva we are getting more of flustered charles then 😭

44sainz we love you queen we can't wait 🙏

ynlover

liked by charles_leclerc, wagf1s, 44fan4, and 1,203 others

ynlover Charles and Carlos with Y/N today 🥰

lestappenthusiast WHY IS CHARLES HEREHFBFBHH

hamilnorris charles liked?????

loverfineline they're both winking 😭😭😭

rbrmercs now a y/n fan account is the last place i thought charles would be

YouTube, now playing: C2 Takes On 2 Challenges with Y/N!

6,372 comments

suckerforcharles: WHEN THE HELL DID CHARLES GET SO BOLD

1655sainz: holy shit i was not expecting that 😭

ricciardotauri: all yall kept saying charles had no rizz whatsoever and he decided to prove u guys wrong im crying

c2luvah: OK I TAKE IT BACK charles has got some moves in him

f1fanatic: what did y/n mean with "finally" like miss girl were u waiting too 🤭

olliefans: Carlos saying Charles is Y/N's favorite?? omg

6,501 comments

sainzmilton: I bet Carlos can't believe they're flirting right in front of his salad

lecslover: NOT Y/N FLIRTING TOO?????

luvroscoe: i'm shocked how charles didn't faint when y/n said that cause

sports55: y/n please flirt with me like that too queen 😣

6,712 comments

lewiswdc: y/n so much better than me i would have dropped dead if charles said that to me

supermaxmax: who the hell gave charles all this rizz and why was he hiding it DAMN MAN

fan2345: I am not an F1 fan but I am so invested in this I wonder if they're actually going to push through with this date 🤨

taytayrep: charles got his head in the game fr

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, pierregasly, and 1,204,582 others

charles_leclerc There really was a great restaurant downtown.

sainzznorris I CANT BREATHEEEEEE

carlandos what a lucky man y/n is so pretty 😣

scuderiazz we're glad you finally got the courage to ask her out, king!

paddock5516 ouuu those interviews with her are so gonna hit from now on

carlossainz55 You know I let you win, right?

charles_leclerc Stop ruining this for me

---------

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @fdl305, @iloveyou3000morgan, @cxcewg, @sassyheroneckgiant, @ang3licho3, @pitlanebabe, @riverdalexvixens, @msliz (if anyone else wants to be a part of my taglist, pls lmk by replying or sending me a message hehe)

notes: thank u so much for reading <3

[leclercdream]

tell me who i am pt.3

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

when in austin everything comes crashing down on reader because people on the internet are mean af

author's note: not much going on in this chapter bc of picture limit haha, will probably upload part 4 after the gp so i have more social media content!

tw: slut shaming

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, lilymhe, charles_leclerc and 182,325 others

yourusername: im damned if i do give a damn what people say

tagged: danielricciardo, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, friend1, friend2, friend3

view all 55 comments

danielricciardo: there’s just no reason for you to be this fine

danielricciardo: wow

danielricciardo: marry me

↳ yourusername: brb crying

landonorris: ew

↳ yourusername: shut up this is your fault

lilymhe: you are glowing!!

↳ alexandrasaintmleux: oh trust me, she is being well taken care of, thats why

↳ friend1: yeah we can all hear it

↳ yourusername: jealous bitches

comments in this post have been limited

danielricciardo

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, kellypiquet and 439,234 others

danielricciardo: As many of you know, this is my girlfriend y/n. We have been dating for 3 years now and she is not only my girlfriend but also my best friend, biggest supporter and the love of my life. For some unknown reason many of you have taken upon yourselves to leave hateful comments on her social media, even taken it as far as saying stuff to her face at the GPs she attended. Do not slut shame women for being proud of their bodies and feel comfortable with it. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to look. yourusername happens to be one of the people I know, that being one of the main reasons I fell in love with her. She is passionate, selfless, funny, caring, beautiful. So please, if you consider yourself a fan of mine and have ever treated her like less than any of that, you are not welcome here.

Any hate comments, threats or anything slightly disrepectful will be deleted and blocked. If you treat the people I love like that, you are not my fan.

Thank you for the tattoo baby!

tagged: yourusername

view all 24 comments

landonorris: imagine having a girlfriend that gets a tattoo because of you

↳ yourusername: you will never know ha

↳ landonorris: haha so funny!!

landonorris: jokes aside, hate comments are NOT welcome on my profile either. y/n is my best friend and i love her (dont let this get to your head PLEASE) so i wont tolerate any hate towards her.

liked by danielricciardo and yourusername

maxverstappen1: 🧡

alexandrasaintmleux: love you guys!

charles_leclerc: You guys are amazing, see you in a few days!

yourusername: i love you sososo much 🍯🦡 you are the love of my life!!!

yourusername: how did i get SO lucky

yourusername: thank you so much for this

comments in this post have been limited

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 637,231 others

landonorris: Nothing better than a few days with friends.

tagged: danielricciardo, alexandrasaintmleux, yourusername, maxfewtrell, friend1, friend2, friend3

view all 1,425 comments

yourusername: low quality lando.jpg

↳ landonorris: its because i have a low quality model

↳ yourusername: yourself?

↳ landonorris: shut up

maxfewtrell: bob stop drinking you have media day tomorrow

↳ danielricciardo: time for a break i guess

user1: kinda love this friend group

user2: 8 pretty best friends

user3: the switch all of you had after daniels post lol

↳ user4: i mean it was about time they left the poor girl alone

taglist: @urmotheris @minkyungseokie @dhhdhsiavdhaj @dl-yum @1655clean @skepvids @forevercaffeinated-lee @laneyspaulding19 @dark-night-sky-99 @bibissparkless @crlsummer

[bebebelll]

Pretty girls and flowers | lando norris smau

pairing: lando norris x student!reader warning: cursing, unrealistic if lando did this in real life the girl would absolutely get doxxed

yn_phd good morning by best pals! this month's episode will be out this tuesday. my lovely amazing talented so pretty best friend got two tickets to silverstone so if you're there come say hello👋! the podcast guest will be my old professor from freshman year so put down any questions you have about mary i of england! stay healthy and hydrated ❤️❤️

liked by bestie_n and 8 475

bestie_n omg dont praise me like that im blushing

username can you ask why henry 8 never made a marriage for mary?

username god i dont even like history that much but fuck are vlogs calming and sweet and pretty af

scuderiaferrari it's been a lovely weekend with charles_leclerc and carlossaiz55! P4 and P7 💪 Here is the first taste of the silverstone photo dump!

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 193 847 others

username CHARLES IN P4 CHARLES IN P4 CHARLES IN P4 I REPEAT CHARLIE CHUCK IS IN P4

landonorris whos that?

carlossainz55 its me landonorris no the pretty one charles_leclerc me? landonorris ew no the PRETTY one charles_leclerc ew? i will drive you to the wall

username not charles threatening to send lando into the wall in the comments

username you just fucking know he'd do it too just ask max

username is lando trying to hook up with the girl in the photo?

yn_phd i put on a little bow so i could be the prettiest girl at the bookstore ❤️today i wrote a page, went on a reading binge about chariot racing in ancient rome, had a breakdown and ate pasta.

liked by bestie_n, carlossainz55 and 11 264 others

username is this the girl @ landonorris

username lando the pretty girl is here

username cmon lando shoot your shot

username i mean he'll miss but its gonna be funny username no one trusts the rizz of this man with a shit beard

bestie_n who is lando? where have you people come from?

carlossainz55 i think this is the girl we were with

carlossainz55 she got lost around the track so we took a photo and got a staff member to help her. she was prettier in real life. good luck mr no rizz you need it username NOT CARLOS COMING FOR LANDO

username LANDO NORRIS

username this is the girl? not really seeing it doesnt feel like landos type you know

landonorris haha okay people lets not do this haha its not that funny it is a bit embarrasing hah (my dms are open for pretty girls always)

alex_albon well youre talented in the car at least

landonorris my dad scolded me for getting drunk on twitter so i went to eat their fridge empty. love being home

liked by carlossainz55, yn_phd and 385 749 others

username is he trying to look extra cute and soft to seduce the pretty girl?

username you just googled boyfriend material and tried your best huh

georgerussel63 i though youd chosen to go with the shirtless gym photos?

alex_albon you sent like fifteen different gym pics to the groupchat and then dont choose even one? fuck our help then i guess landonorris shut up shut up shut up

username i can see the pretty girl in the likes though 👀

yn_phd me and the gang went to a lecture about lord byron's sex life on thursday. i had a pretty cute visitor this weekend and even our lord and king aragorn the cat liked him!!

liked by landonorris, bestie_n and 9 736 others

bestie_n it was a lecture about lord byron's reputation and fame and how it effected the romance genre?

yn_phd exactly!

username are we gonna get an episode about THE george gordon byron please say yes

yn_phd my best pal i will rant about the whole geneva squad

username did lando norris actually do it

username did landonorris attend the lecture too?

landonorris ive never been happier that i chose karting and skipped school

yn_phd i have discovered hidden depths in myself. i can cry about essay structures and then drive bumper cars an hour later

liked by landonorris, alex_albon and 11 379 others

landonorris it was just karting babe they were not bumper cars

yn_phd but i crashed so much? landonorris you were great!! i was so proud!! 🧡

username okay but how does this relationship even work? if she doesnt know anything about racing?

yn_phd i tell him everything about the tudor dynasty and he explains to me how the drs works

landonorris use date night to play uno and see whos more competitive (me, i won)

liked by yn_phd, alex_albon and 385 739 others

yn_phd the way i screamed after you gave me those cards

username lando really be gambling with a new relationship

alex_albon poor girl

georgerussell63 remember when we played uno and lando got a +4 card from all of us and he got a mental breakdown alex_albon yeahh we had to take 10min break cause he left for a drive around the block maxverstappen1 the neighbours made a noise complaint too

yn_phd i got him flowers and later we both crash landed on the bowling alley floor

liked by landonorris, bestie_n and 13 847 others

alex_albon oh so this why you called me crying your tits off

maxverstappen1 he called you too?

landonorris pretty girl🧡🧡

yn_phd pretty guy❤️❤️

[ratatatastic]

theres something particularly poetic about the cellies you share with the man youve spent the most time with as a teammate in your entire nhl career

"first goal?" "mmm" "🫂"

😃 → 😐

(mikkola 1st nhl goal. tarasenko primary asst.)

st louis blues @ san jose sharks | 3.8.21

he was there to set you up for your very first goal against the same team you debuted against 2 months prior. and try as you might to play off your excitement the grin you so wanted to hide blossoms in the presence of his own excitement like you cant help but feed off the joy he mustered up for you. your first accomplishment of many at the nhl-level...

(mikkola goal. tarasenko secondary asst.)

vegas golden knights @ st louis blues | 11.22.21

and for your first goal of the 2122 season and second goal in your nhl career hes there too...in fact he was the secondary assist...hes there a lot...

(tarasenko secondary asst.)

st louis blues @ dallas stars | 12.14.21

...everytime you look down it seems like hes there always willing to cross into your space to shout a multitude of encouragements at you even if you didnt particularly do anything...

st louis blues @ minnesota wild winter classic | 1.1.22

...when your arms open somehow you find him tucked underneath there before you can even blink quite honestly you didnt particularly notice when he wasnt in that spot

(tarasenko goal)

winnipeg jets @ st louis blues | 3.13.22

...and you too find yourself in that very same spot. the spot at his side while his poor arm can barely reach the top of your shoulders

(tarasenko ot winner)

new york rangers @ philadelphia flyers | 3.1.23

and while you no longer wear the familiar blues you both spent years wearing (him much more longer than you)...that off shade of blue is not too outlandish. you still find him in the sea of whites like youve always had.

(mikkola goal. tarasenko secondary asst.)

edmonton oilers @ florida panthers scf game 2 | 6.10.24

and perhaps you should shed those blues for reds. red might be nice too. red will be the colour you see when he jumps into your arms, will be the colour you see when his cheeks are flushed from screaming when that final buzzer rings... was the colour that floods the stands when you won the cup

red is the colour you see explode behind your eyelids as you press your palms tightly against them as your phone lights up with a haunting article highlighting a different red. not your red. a different red team.

but red might be the sweetest colour of all despite that.

and may we find each other again just like we did before

[repulsive-manwhore]

I need to be raped in my sleep by you

I want you to break into my room in the middle of the night and find me passed out after smoking too much,i sleep naked under my sheets so you can just start feeling every inch of my stupid whore body before i wake up and start struggling

After i wake up in a panic from feeling you violate me rougher and rougher, but its too late, you already have a grip on me and im not going anywhere

Maybe ill just comply if you have a gun or knife, or maybe you'll just use your bare hands to beat me until im to weak to fight back and fuck my throat until its so raw i cant breathe or even think of crying for help

in your sleep? funny that you think i'd even let you get the chance. you're gonna be so fucked up off the shit i give you that you're just gonna FEEL like you're asleep. my dick is gonna be so hard that i'm not even gonna be able to wait long enough for you to pass out before i need to violate you.

you don't need a gun or a knife when she's just a motionless fuckdoll at your disposal. you just throw her around the room as you please, whenever you want, because now you own that stupid, drugged up bitch.

[bitchimasnake-sss]

"i thought you got possessed-" ft. luffy!

ft. luffy x fem!reader

set-up: you're pms-ing and he is such a dumbass. but that doesn't mean he isn't out here being the bestest boy ever. (please excuse his dumbassery, he was dropped on his head as a child)

warnings: none! very wholesome lol

- please dont get confused, this man has no idea how periods work - like how is it humanly possible for you to bleed and then stay alive and kicking? seems made up tbh - one eventful evening (before you both started dating), you and nami had to sit him down and give him a long-ass biology lesson, explaining what the whole phenomenon is, what pms-ing is and yada-yada - before this, he firmly believed that every once a while a demon possessed you all (and he saw absolutely no issue with that, what a fucking icon) "ohhh" he's laughing, "so that's what it is? i thought you guys like got possessed" "excuse me?" nami's on the verge to hit him in the head again and you're wondering if the constant hits are the reason luffy's braincells are (half) dead "i see, i see. i get it now" - he lied, he still doesn't quite get it - but its fine - so, it is just another random tuesday and (post-dating) you know syou love luffy. but holy shit, if he yelled "YN DOLPHIN!! LOOK LOOK A DOLPHIN! SUGEEEEEE" and giggled again, you might yell at him. you really do love him but if he stole your food one more time, you're convinced you might smack him too. "luffy" your voice was unusually low, devoid of any warmth, "stop that." "whatt" he whined, grinning afterwards as he scooped up more food from your plate "luffy. i said STOP IT." your voice rose higher and silence hung uncomfortably over the dinner table - luffy just looks at you dumbfounded - the way you're fisting your hand on the table and looking at him has the crew afraid that youre gonna murder the captain in cold blood - well, i mean ur considering the possibility too, so, you mumble a half-ass apology and return back to your room to be alone - lying against the soft sheets, you can smell the citrus detergent and oh boy, now you feel guilty - i mean god, that's luffy, that was nothing out of the ordinary for him. why did you yell at him? fuck, are you a horrible girlfriend?? - oh boy, now the tears are welling up too - "yn?" luffy whispers as he slips into the room, closing the door behind him and now you're really crying - i mean look at him, why did you yell at him? - "im so sorry, i don't know why i yelled at you, that was so shitty of me-" "hey, it's okay" he's hugging you tight, "you did nothing wrong, i can be a little bit dumb sometimes. i should have not taken your food" "what? no, i am not mad about that. i, i dunno-" you sniff, "maybe i'm just pms-ing?" "huh??" - took a while for him to remember but now that you've jogged up his memory, he looks so guilty, so, he spends the entire evening apologizing and offering you food, he even promises that he wouldn't point out dolphins every time he sees them (you had to reassure him that he can continue doing that)

- but now onwards, this lovely himbo tries to keep in check what he's saying, often giving you a lingering look as if asking "this is fine right?"

- but now you've got your personal defender!! - ussop made a joke and you're not laughing (because it wasn't that funny tbh) and luffy is ready to smack ussop and tell him to "not annoy" you. zoro is being dumb and luffy can see it on your face that he's pissing you off lowkey, so, he will actually tell zoro to not be a dick - mf just starts picking up fights left and right for your sake and now you have to give him another long ass lesson to make it stop - ps: he does not stop. - this man turns into a chihuahua, anything bothering you must be struck down. - very, very observant from now on too. he needs to make sure you're feeling good - also asked sanji to make your favourite desert - he just loves you so much and wants you to be as comfortable as possible (still doesn't know how female anatomy works though-)

a/n: omg i luv him such a dumbass

zoro's link <3 sanji's link <3