#please ignore how lazy the background is or I will cry

[spideypawz]

had to edit because the quality got screwed :/

[zileans-big-cl0ck]

Hello! How u doing?

Can i ask for some DarkCosmic! Jhin x gn! reader headcanons! Im crying fr there is barely Jhin content. Im so happy i found your blog, its so damn great <33 ilysm!! Take care :D

✦–Dark Cosmic Jhin x reader short story.✦ (SFW)

✦Demos on their way to provide Jhin content for you, because Jhin enjoyers deserve everything that’s the best.

✧ prompt: ✧ just some headcanons that are placed in the Cosmic/Dark Star alternative universe.

✧ champions: ✧ Jhin, the Virtuoso (Dark Cosmic).

✧ reader: ✧ gender neutral (no Y/N used).

✧ author’s note: ✧ I’m afraid it turned out more like a short story than headcanons, but you must forgive me, the whole Cosmic universe is just so emphemeral and majestic, it called me by itself to write something like this, frfr. Like, I literally have Dark Star Kha’zix as my main theme, just because it’s the most aesthetic skin in the entire game. ANYWAYS, guys, hit me up with any ideas for Jhin content, because I’m gonna take care of it, I PROMISE. And don’t worry about your asks, I’m really writting them, I’m just a bit lazy and slow. As always, please ignore any mistakes.

masterlist

The Cosmic Court has lost Jhin’s light. He has fallen into the Dark Star’s trap, embraced the inky space. Now, bestowed with new starfire powers, he conscientiously begun to claim the Universe as a canvas for his artwork.

Jhin’s corruption quickly escalated, cosmic frame mirrored the cells of his mad and abstract concept of reality. It all belonged to him now. He could create anything or make nothing from the absolute; proclaim the universe with a new virtuoso as a cradle of twisted nebulas, incandescent galaxies, blurred across the black reality.

His hunger grew alongside claiming more and more stars, his four emphemeral hands - two filled with the energy of relinquished Cosmic celestial, the other two greeting the omnipotent might of the Dark Star - working, reaching, grabbing, painting, spreading.

These hands, he reached them once for a brand new Galaxy, fresh and pure, uncertain of the destination it should met. It could be turned into something truly gorgeous, breathtaking, beyond anything a simple mortal could ever comprehend. He wanted to ensnare this light, capture it at its most enduring state, and then squize it in his claws, paint the infinite darkness of expanse by its entrails.

But Jhin hesitated. It wasn’t just another impotent Galaxy drifting in space, awaiting its dull end, that would come in eons. It was another Celestial being, alive and in their youth, unaware of the ongoing war between the Dark Star and its corruptants and the Cosmic Court.

He approached, though there was a concerning aspect in their apperance. Like a whirling black hole that he employed to create artworks greater than himself, the artist behind.

Discovered when he found himself closer, he realized that he misses the feeling of gliding freely between plantes, with stardust sweeping through his ephemeral cape. Emptiness surrounded this poor Celestial, ubiquitous darkness and black background only in the sight. It was almost pitful, to look at something so lonely, with no items to craft and work and paint. But Jhin was an artist, which entailed that he felt and saw more, curiosity rised achingly in his cosmic body.

And he obtained them, because Jhin, empowered by the power of the Dark Star, always got what he desired, what his longing soul cried for. Firstly, it was a move made from pity; soon he became covetous, as he saw other corruptants becoming jealous of his new pet. The old, disdainful wraith, Mordekaiser, jeered, demanding his own cohort of enslaved Celestials. ”If Jhin can have one, why won’t we create a whole army of it? Why should we meet constelations with cataclysms, instead of claiming them as our own?” he asked, encouraged by the coward, Xerath. But Jhin decided to mercifully ignore his acquaintances, as the Herald, Thresh, didn’t stop him - his own twisted mind hided his soft spot for some kind of pets.

Jhin admired his new companion’s loyality. They decided to stood by his side, and he was positive they would be loyal even in the end of the Cosmic Court, end of the Dark Star and the whole Universe, just because he had freed them from the nothingless of their corner of space.

He uncovered that he had no desire of consuming nor devastating the Celestial into a new piece of art, just becausae of their purity and mellowness. When born in a dark emptiness, their being couldn’t soak with the benightedness that kept buisy the minds of others. He could bathe them in his own ideas and beliefs.

Neither Mordekaiser nor Xerath could order him to leave his new partner - they became his inspiration, his only appreciated audience. Their word was valued by Jhin more than the ardous asks from the other corruped cosmic titans.

They weren’t ordinal. They were found in a repugnant darkness, embraced by no stars, no nebulas, only ceaseless nothingless. It was almost calming, like the dim insides of the Dark Star, which were consummate, persistent, always hungry for more. Jhin admired it and wanted to show his pet the whole Universe, the beauty he could rip from constellations, melt them to his will.

He often became pensive, milling the thoughts that consumed his mind, pushing him into the greatness of his immense conciousness. They could listen to him for eons about the convoluted twists and strings behind his art. But he would never talk about his past and the Cosmic Court. And they were never malicious enough to force him to confess that.

The whole Galaxy was yours. Jhin was the reason the sanctimonious herold of the Dark Star, Thresh, has brought the rightful owner, the true heir of the devouring force of this Universe, Lux, so she could claim the throne. And by this way, the Virtuoso obtained favourability of his master - the one that gave him the powers. It let him spread the superficial chaos, proudly pace through space with his new companion, his beautiful galaxy, his devotion and destination.

Because Jhin was never reserved; if he wanted the whole Universe to belong to him, he would accomplish this task even without help of the Dark Star.

[anniesocsandgeneralstore]

Come over here and overwhelm me + one muse riding the other while the tv plays in the background,  movie forgotten entirely.

I also set this one during the friends with benefits days!! luv u christel

prompt: one muse riding the other while the tv plays in the background, movie forgotten entirely

word count: 558

warnings: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT 18+ONLY MINORS DNI (unprotected pinv, creampie, jake being called a sweet boy, overstimulation, jake kinda being a sub??)

There was a movie on in the background. Long-winded dialogue and orchestral swells mix with the sounds of the refrigerator and the airconditioner humming through the small apartment. But the plot was left forgotten, ignored, just like those ambient sounds that the human brain barely seemed to notice.

Jake and Ronnie’s soul focus was each other. The way she clenched around his hardened length. The way he hit something special inside her as she moved up and down at an achingly slow pace. Jake’s head was rested against the back of the couch, eyes barely focused as he stared up at the ceiling — his thumbs rubbing lazy circles into her thighs. Ronnie’s hands were on his chest to keep herself balanced as she rode him. 

He came to her apartment that night exhausted. Beaten down. His usually loud and boisterous demeanor now quiet and noncommittal. It must have been a rough day of training if it left him like this. Ronnie thought the best way to help would be some food and a relaxing night in. But as soon as they sat down to watch the movie she picked, he was nuzzling into her neck and whispering: 

“Need you, baby — please.”

And over the last few months, Ronnie had figured out she had a hard time saying no to Jake Seresin. She stripped him of his clothes and let him watch as she took off her own. She climbed into his lap, her kisses lazy and drawn out and something more that neither of them could place. 

“Lemme take care of you,” she had whispered as she took him to the hilt. 

His hips started to roll up to meet her as his climax drew near — his hands sliding up her body to hold her ribs in his wide palms.

He lifted his head from the back of the couch with a pinched brow, “Not gonna…”

She knew what he was getting at. She hadn’t cum yet — he wasn’t going to last — and Jake never wanted to leave a woman unsatisfied. But this, right here, was about him. And it surprised her, even as she took his face in her hands, how much she was willing to give up to make him feel good. Make him forget about his terrible day. Get him lost in the depths of her love unspoken and her pussy that felt made just for him. 

“S’okay, sweet boy,” she said and he whined softly, his hips working faster. “Just let go for me.” 

And so he did. His entire body shuddered as he released inside her, mouth dropped open and some noise between a moan and a cry falling endlessly from his lips. But Ronnie didn’t let up the slow rise and fall of her hips, she continued to work him even as he went soft and sensitive inside her. 

He squeezed her ribs with a hiss. “Hmm — wait, s’too much…can’t…”

Jake groaned, whined, as she purposefully clenched around his already re-hardening length. His head thrown back against the couch and a vein popping out in his neck.

“Give me one more, sweet boy — just one more,” she said as she mouthed at that pretty little vein. “Want nothing in that head of yours except how good this feels.” 

He made some small, feeble noise of protest, but he nodded. And he sat back and let her ruin him.

[ggukbabyy]

bro... idk about the whole plot of the drabble but it definitely should have some sexual tension going on but i'm not talking about a quick tension, you know... it could take hours or days idk i feel like you would kill it

“No, never,” you comment with a small shake of your head. Taehyung looks indignant.

“Everyone has done something outside of the bedroom at some point.”

You simply shake your head. “Not me.” Your eyes flick to Jeongguk briefly, his gaze drilling holes into the side of your face. He leans forward, forearms resting on the table.

“You’ve never needed someone so badly you couldn’t wait?” His voice is deep and husky, a hidden implication giving his words weight. You hold his gaze.

“The waiting is the fun part.” The corner of his mouth forms a faint smirk.

“That’s where we’ll have to disagree,” he replies, holding your eyes as he takes a long pull from his drink. Everyone breaks off into different conversations, the intrigue of your reluctance to perform sexual acts in a public space no longer the most interesting thing to discuss. Jeongguk appears to be the only one not ready to let it go.

You sit opposite him in the pub, enough people occupying the space that the din of background conversation makes it hard for others to hear as Jeongguk leans across the table once again.

“Do you really believe that? About waiting?” You’re not quite sure why he’s so interested but you entertain his line of questioning.

“100 percent,” you reply without hesitation and Jeongguk nods slowly as he considers your answer.

“You don’t think the desperation to have someone near you, in you, there and then is fun? How is that not better than waiting?” His eyebrows are drawn together in skepticism. He can’t for the life of him understand how you could enjoy waiting. It’s disheartening to hear when he’s spent the better part of the night trying to figure out a plan that would get you to follow him into the toilets. You’ve been acquaintances for about 4 months and he’s spent an embarrassingly large proportion of his time in your company thinking of all the different ways he’d like to spend his time with you if he could get you alone. And not for one second would he want to wait.

“I enjoy the anticipation,” you begin, moving to mirror his position. Jeongguk gets a wonderful eyeful of cleavage and he takes his time appreciating it.

“Wanting it so desperately and knowing you can’t have it now makes it all the better when it does happen.” For most of the sentence Jeongguk is picturing his dick between your tits so he only half hears what you say.

“Anticipation doesn’t change shit,” replies Jeongguk, leaning slightly closer. A small smile plays across your face, head tilted to the side slightly.

“It’s my favourite,” your voice has turned sultry, the alcohol muddling Jeongguk’s brain preventing him from noticing the change immediately. “The person is so close and not close enough, almost touching where you want and you could scream in frustration because two centimeters to the left and it would feel so fucking good, but they make you wait,” your voice is soft and captivating; even with everything happening around Jeongguk you’re the only one he can hear. His whole body feels jittery yet he’s glued to the spot, his chest beginning to rise and fall just a little deeper as you draw the perfect picture for him. “And wait some more, until I could cry, until I’m begging for the slightest touch or kiss in just the right place, so desperate and needy.” The switch from describing a situation to talking about yourself doesn’t go unnoticed by Jeongguk. In fact, it makes the room seem a little hotter, his pants feel a little tighter, his brain seems a little more clouded as he tries to focus on anything but the sounds you’d make as you beg or the words you’d say to get what you wanted from him. Saliva pools in his mouth at the thought of you spread below him close to tears with desperation. Your eyes are alive and wild yet the rest of your face is the picture of innocence and he’s not sure how much more he can take. You’re inching closer to his face across the table as you speak.

“But you don’t like waiting, do you Jeongguk?” You ask and he can faintly feel the warmth of your breath against his lips from this distance. He swallows thickly.

“You don’t want to keep me waiting, don’t like the idea of making me beg for it? For you?” You add on innocently, eyebrows raised as though you’d asked a perfectly simple, appropriate question. Jeongguk can barely form a coherent sentence with his head so full of everything you’ve just said. You stay there leaning on the table for a few more seconds, Jeongguk’s eyes flicking down to your lips, the air around you both suffocating and heavy. You grin widely before leaning back into your chair triumphantly. Jeongguk’s eyes are clouded with arousal, not trying to hide where your words have taken him and his reluctance to return to the real world. By the time he does you’ve moved on to a conversation with Jimin, giggling at his shit jokes. You don’t look Jeongguk’s way once for the rest of the night and it drives him insane.

-----

Two weeks later and you’re at Jimin’s place for a barbecue with a friend. Only Jimin’s housemates are Yoongi and Jeongguk, and no one told Jeongguk you were coming over. Ever since the night at the pub, Jeongguk has fantasised about you more than he would care to admit - even to himself. More than a few times his hand wandered south with pictures of you flashing behind his eyelids, replaying the conversation you’d had over and over, vividly picturing you doing the things you’d described. So when he walks out of the patio doors into the garden to see you laid across a towel on the floor, the smallest bikini he has ever witnessed wrapped around your body, to describe his feelings as shocked is a gross understatement. From his vantage point he can watch you while you remain none the wiser, so he takes the precious time to appreciate everything that you are. Your legs go on for miles and are toned to perfection, your tits fill out your bikini with some left to spill over the side and yearning burns deep in his stomach to have his lips against the smooth flesh, dragging his tongue leisurely across your nipple. Images of you begging for him flash violently across his mind, and he’s itching to return to his bedroom for a few minutes. But then you turn over and notice him, a lazy grin creeping slowly across your mouth.

“Can I help you?” You ask innocently, eyes dancing with amusement at having caught Jeongguk staring. He saunters over to you, arms braced behind him as he sits down.

“You’re in my garden, I should be asking you that question.” Your eyes are glued on the way his biceps tense to support his weight. It should be illegal for Jeongguk to walk around shirtless, even if it is the height of summer. For the sake of your own sanity he should walk around in a full wetsuit - but you’re sure he’d manage to make that look sexy. His broad chest is on full display, the golden skin pulled taut against the toned muscles of his abdomen. Your eyes continue their journey down his stomach, thoughts swirling at the dusting of hair beneath his belly button, following it down until it disappears beneath his shorts.

“Are you nearly done?” Amusement drips from his words as you pull your eyes from their pleasant detour. You fight desperately to keep the heat from your face.

“Almost.” Jeongguk’s tongue pokes the side of his cheek at your answer. He’s used to girls fawning over him, melting into a puddle of shy giggles and doting compliments. Not this. The idea of having you begging beneath him becomes more and more appealing the more you demonstrate all the ways you need to be taught a lesson.

Both of you bask in the heat of the sun in silence, music drifting out from the kitchen, Yoongi’s contagious laughter bringing a smile to your face. Surreptitiously you peek one eye open, looking sideways at Jeongguk. The perfect definition of his jaw is showcased with the way his head is tilted towards the sun, little beads of sweat developing at his temples and clinging to the nape of his neck.

“You should really put suncream on,” you state, shutting your eye before he can catch you again.

“Are you offering?” His tone is bored but excitement thrills through his chest.

“Not really.” Jeongguk fights the smile threatening to reveal itself.

“If I end up burning, it'll be all your fault,” Jeongguk complains, and when you say nothing in return, his arms buckle under his weight dramatically, his back thudding against the grass.

“I can feel the blisters forming already,” he groans, rocking side to side. You suppress chuckles as you watch his performance.

“Unngh,” he groans, turning his head to look at you, a fake pained expression pulling against his features. “I need you to put suncream on me,” he whines, “please.” His lips jut into a pout.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” you reply with an eye roll, Jeongguk all but ignoring it as a delighted grin lights up his face.

While you grab the cream, Jeongguk arranges himself into his original position, a satisfied smile gracing his plump lips as he basks in both his small victory and the heat of the sun. His smile vanishes, eyes snapping open, when he feels the cool of a shadow passing across him only to be faced with you straddling his lap. Your expression is the picture of innocence, eyes wide, head tilted, soft lips slightly parted as you hold to bottle of cream in one hand expectantly, but a flicker of wickedness flashes across your eyes, there one second and gone so quickly Jeongguk could almost convince himself that you’re clueless to the effect your close proximity has on him. But the way your back arches into him gives you away.

Jeongguk hisses a breath through his teeth at the first contact of the suncream against his warm skin and you giggle. There’s no hint of amusement on his face. Having you so close and yet unable to touch you has his mind reeling and frustration bubbling like acid in the pit of his stomach. You smell incredible, sweet and floral, and your hands are delicate as they roam his chest and stomach, eyes completely focused on the task at hand. He sighs deeply as he lets himself become lost in the way you touch him, the way your hands rove confidently, traversing low enough to have him forcing down the urge to buck his hips against you.

Nothing in the world is going to pull your gaze from the path your hands trace against Jeongguk’s skin. From his broad shoulders and collarbones you would be happy to drag your tongue across, to your palm grazing his nipple, noting the muscle in his jaw jumping at the contact. Down, down, down his stomach as low as his shorts allow, over his hips and waist. All amusement has vanished as your fingers explore. Jeongguk’s breathing is deep as you toy with the waistband of his shorts, slipping the tip of your finger just underneath. He’s watching you like a hawk, nostrils flaring as he wills you to just reach down, give him the look so he can take you upstairs and show you there’s no fun in waiting. Instead you raise your eyes to his and breathe out, “I need to do your arms.”

He shifts his weight forward, one arm held out for you, the other sliding around your body, hand resting gently on your arse. Raising your eyebrows questioningly at the placement, Jeongguk simply shrugs, a devilish smile flashing at you.

“What’s the matter, darling?” His deep voice questions. You forego a reply, squeezing cream directly onto his arm. He watches your face with delight as you continue.

“Turn around so I can do your back,” your voice is barely above a whisper. Having him so close for so long is starting to prove difficult. You can’t get your thoughts away from his hands, how strong and big they are in your own, how they’d wrap perfectly around your neck or how easy it would be for Jeongguk to prod and massage your g-spot until you were exhausted from overstimulation. It hasn’t slipped your notice that he’s been getting progressively harder beneath you, every inch of him pushing against your core. It’s getting hard to breathe, hard to look him in the eye - he relishes every second of your struggle with a cocky grin. His eyes are heavy and clouded with arousal and he drags his gaze leisurely down your body and back again.

“I’m sure you can reach from here, darling.” The determined look in your eye has Jeongguk chuckling. The action of reaching your hands over his shoulders and down his back has your chest pushing into his face and a small groan rumbles in Jeongguk’s throat. Your stomach burns with desire at the sound, a desperate need to hear the sound over and over, louder and then whispered into your ear, claws mercilessly at your insides, threatening to suffocate you. Without thinking you push your hips down in an effort to garner some friction against your swollen clit. The manoeuver doesn’t go unnoticed.

Jeongguk’s mind is blank. Your arse is pushing back into his palms, his fingers massaging the supple flesh delicately. With your tits so close to his face he determines it would be criminal if he doesn’t lean forward just a little more. His hair tickles your cheek as he moves, his nose brushing your chest as he gets closer. He flattens his tongue against the swell of your breast, licking a stripe against your glowing skin before sinking his teeth into you. A small gasp escapes your lips, hips rutting against him of their own accord. He groans again, using his hands to push you into him harder, desperation and frustration intermingling at the clothing separating your pussy from his bare skin. He pulls back to look up at you, the muscles of his jaw jumping as he restrains himself. Your lips are so close, both of your chests rising and falling rapidly, each waiting to see what the other will do, the atmosphere suffocating as the tension rises. Jeongguk’s gaze is intense and his eyes flick briefly down to your lips, his intentions and desires clear.

“Come to my room.” His voice is gravelly and shoots heat directly to where you need his touch the most. “Let me touch you, make you feel so good, princess.”

“We can’t,” you whisper back, lacking conviction.

“Why not?” Whines Jeongguk.

“Everyone will see and they’ll know.” It’s a feeble excuse and your resolve to stick with it is crumbling quickly.

“I’ll happily fuck you out here if that’s what you’d prefer.” Your cheeks flame at the idea. “It would be easy,” he continues, mind so consumed with you and his need to have you as close as possible. His fingers skim the apex of your thigh, toying with the edge of your bikini. “I’d just have to pull this to the side and then I’d see your pretty pussy, but I bet you have a tight cunt, couldn’t take my cock all at once.” Your core clenches reflexively at his words and you know you’re absolutely fucked.

“Come to my room,” he states, moving your hips over his with his hands. You smile devilishly, leaning forward until your lips almost brush.

“I’m sure you can wait a little bit longer.”

an; so i clearly don't know the meaning of the word drabble and you said i'd kill it so the perfectionism took over and i couldn't stop until i thought it was good

[sugamamacustard]

Helping hand.

Pairing: Mob boss! Alpha! Kenma Kozume x Omega! Reader

Genre: NSFW

Request: Ok but im really in love with the ABO mafia and, here me out, Alpha Mob boss Kenma who's omega S/O suddenly gets her heat while in a meeting at another boss's house (like Oikawa or even Suga)

Summary: You were always so good for your alpha. There are some things that fall out of your control however, things that may put a wrench in your good behaviour. 

Author’s Note: Okay, there’s these headcanons about Tendo, and (I think) Kita and Sakusa punishing their S/O for swearing and I cannot find these for the life of me. Please help out Custard man!

Requests: Open!

WARNINGS: Daddy! Kink, Degradation, Kenma is mean >:(, but it’s okay, we love him. I also used a Fem! Reader, GN was really hard to write last time ‘^_^ sorry!

➵ One of the many, many things Kenma loved about you was that you always behaved.

➵You didn’t like punishments, just as much as he didn’t like giving them to you (They were frankly exhausting).

➵So you behaved, listened to all of your alpha’s rules, even went above and beyond sometimes. 

➵Such a perfect little omega. 

➵Walking to your bedroom, Kenma smiled softly, quickly adjusting the tie he wore around his neck. He had a meeting with Suga within the hour and had to “Look presentable”. Gross. 

➵ You poked your head up at the sound of the door opening, eagerly putting down the switch console in you hands. 

➵You were wearing a loose romper, with legs that stopped midthigh and accompanying thigh highs- signature black choker around your neck. 

➵Kenma liked to keep things simple and classy with you. 

➵ Every thing was simplistic and just how Kenma liked it. 

➵Just how you both like it. 

➵ “Kitten.”  He hummed, watching you get up, placing the switch in your small backpack. The backpack was your to go bag whenever you needed to go somewhere with your alpha, filled with snacks, a water bottle, coloring books, regular novels and your (His) switch. 

➵ He waited for you to skip to his side, turning and walking with an arm around your waist, making his way to the meeting room. 

➵Suga was bringing his omega along today, so you’d have someone to play with on Animal crossing.

➵Kenma wouldn’t admit it, but he was excited to see your smile when you found out.

➵ “Alpha, who are we meeting with? Oikawa? Ushijima?” You paused, gasping. “Terushima?”

➵ “No. None of those.” The door opened, Suga and his Omega both looking up. You waved excitedly, shaking Kenma’s arm. 

➵You both excitedly chirped at each other, Kenma pulling you along to his side of the table. You soon were perched on his lap, playing with Suga’s omega while Kenma and Suga were talking about weapons trades.

➵Very rarely did you actually care about the conversation but you would listen in enough to know what it was about.

➵Guns. It was about guns. Not like video game guns but real life, dangerous guns that daddy didn’t want you near

➵That was fine with you though. You didn’t want to touch them anyway. 

➵You never wanted  to disobey daddy.

➵Halfway through the meeting, you grunted lowly, adjusting yourself on Kenma’s lap. You felt a pool of heat boil your lower gut, making a flurry of unease set like a stone in your stomach. The only reason you ever felt like this was-

➵You reached into your backpack, quickly pulling out your phone and unlocking it. The background was a picture of you and Kenma at a video game tournament, your eyes closed as you pressed a swift peck to his cheek. You ignored the picture momentarily, quickly clicking on an app,  a flame decorating the face of the app.

➵You frowned at the words you were met with.

➵ “Your heat is coming in three weeks! Better start prep!”

➵ You didn’t know where to go from here. Heat continued to pool in your stomach, making you wither in your spot. 

➵Kenma looked down to you every once in a while, but you didn’t pay that any mind.

➵ Was your heat coming early?

➵You didn’t want that! That means daddy would have to leave his meeting to take care of you!

➵ No you were fine. Just- just sick? Yeah that sounded right. 

➵ Fuck were you hot right now. 

➵ No! You would hold out. Be good for daddy! 

➵ “I apologize for cutting this meeting short, Sugawara, there are some things that need my urgent attention. I’m sure you understand.” You were picked up with Ease, making you chirp. 

➵ “Perfectly. Until next time Kozume.” 

➵You merely watched over Kenma’s shoulder, the door closing behind you as you were carried off.

➵You almost wanted to cry for disappointing daddy.

___

“Pretty, pretty kitten.” Fingers trailed under your panties, sliding between your slick folds, making your whine with need. “In the middle of a meeting and your squirming like a dog with fleas. I thought you liked behaving for daddy, you whore.”

“I do- I love behaving for daddy! ‘m sorry! I couldn’t help it!” You were already tearing up, gripping onto Kenma’s business slacks like your life depended on it. 

He huffed through his nose, inserting a finger into your cunt. “Couldn’t help it?” 

You shook your head, grinding yourself uselessly against his hand. “No daddy! My heat came early!  I don’t- It says I have another three weeks but I’m so hot and I need Daddy’s cock. Please-” 

Your alpha clicked his tongue, inserting another finger while unbuckling his belt with his other hand. He gave himself a few lazy stroked, moving his fingers in a rocking motion.  You moaned loudly, pushing against him as you fought the urge to touch yourself.  

Still had to listen to Daddy’s rules. You reminded yourself of each one mentally, throwing your head back. 

“Can I touch you daddy? Please?” You pleaded, reaching up and threading your hands through his hair when he nodded. A third finger prodded you entrance, raising to tease your clit before pulling away completely. Whining at the loss got you a harsh glance from Kenma, who pulled you onto his lap wordlessly. 

Your panties were dragged down, resting just beneath the bend of your knee, allowing your alpha to position you much easier. 

“Good cock-whores have to work for relief, kitten.”  

You only moaned a response as you sunk down on your alpha’s cock, already quelling the heat in your stomach.

[random-imagines-blog]

Love Peas {Hiram Lodge x Reader}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 1894 Summary: Hiram comes home after a very rough night. Notes: Mentions of death

Shifting under the covers, you heard a noise coming from downstairs. The house was usually quiet save for the murmur of the appliances and electronics, a sound that you had gotten used to over the months of living here with your boyfriend, Hiram. So each and every footstep on the ground sounded like a racket. You laid still, expecting the security system to trigger, saying that there was an intruder, but it did no such thing. The power was still on, you could hear the hum still, that little electrical buzz that was your constant background noise. So that meant whoever was in your house had the keycode. Hiram.

There was even more clamor from downstairs. A groaning sound. Now you knew for sure it was Hiram. You’ve heard him, unfortunately, be in pain on more than one occasion through your relationship. It was the price that he paid for being in the ‘business’ that he was.

You swept the blankets off of you, your bare feet touching the cold wooden floor. You pulled your robe closed over your pajamas as you made your way quickly to the door, through the hallway, and then started down the stairs to see what the damage was this time. You were always terrified that he was going to come home covered in blood, battered beyond repair. That you were going to hold him and hear nothing but the death rattle right before he would be gone. It was a scene that ran through your nightmares. A scene that if it were in front of you, you were ill-prepared to deal with.

There was nothing lazy, or just-woken up about your movements. Foot descending after foot on the runner of the stairs, keeping the chilliness of the hard floors at bay. Through the moonlight coming in through the windows, you were able to see a form just slipping out of the foyer, making it’s way to the kitchens. “Hiram?" You asked, reaching the bottom of the staircase and turning to follow. He was hurt, though there was no blood on the floor. There wasn’t a trail leading after him. But by the way that his leg was sliding behind him, it looked like it was broken at the very least. You flicked the switch and the kitchen came to life with bright lights, revealing everything. Under those florescent s, there was no room to hide.

Though Hiram was trying pretty hard to hide.

He sat down on the floor, head leaning back against the wooden cabinets. He was bruised, but that was an understatement. He was severely bruised. Black eye. Split lip. His usually perfect hair was tousled in a not-unattractive way but the very fact that he hadn’t immediately took a come to it scared you a little. If that was the state of his face, you were very concerned about the rest of him. You got down on your knees next to him, ignoring the discomfort, nervous to even touch him. He looked like he would break if he did.

“I can explain...” Hiram started off by saying, but then realized that he wasn’t going to be able to talk his way out of this one. He’d look up into your face, and then would immediately try to cut off the eye contact, looking down at the ground instead.

“I think this is going a bit beyond the first aid box’s capabilities,” You winced upon seeing the other side of his face. Oh lord, even that eye was starting to swell up. He was close to being a human bruise at this point. That poor, gorgeous face of his. “Maybe we should get you to a hospital. Is anything broken? How did you get home?”

“Cab,” Hiram admitted, ignoring your first question. “The driver was - taking care of things while I left.”

“Christ, Hiram,” You groaned. You got up to your feet, dashing towards the bathroom to get the first aid kit that was in there. The amount of times that you had to replace this thing. The pharmacy probably thought that you were in an abusive relationship. You came back to see that he hardly moved, other than to wipe a bit of blood that was coming from the deep cut in his bottom lip. You sat back down beside him, opened up the first aid kit, tore into a package that contained an alcohol wipe and started to blot.

“Do we got any ice packs?” Hiram moaned. You stood up to go and check, looking through the contents of the freezer. You rummaged past the frozen vegetables, frozen pizzas, bottles of alcohol to find that - no, there were no ice packs in the freezer.

“Have to do with some vegetables,” You said, grabbing a bag of frozen peas. You held it up to his face, pressing it as tenderly as you could against the rougher looking eye. He hissed, and brought his hand up to grab it, only to show you how damaged that looked too. Bloody knuckles were the least of his worries. “We’re going to have to get that looked at,” You said, pointing towards his hand.

“It’s fine,” He muttered, letting it rest on the bag, which was resting on his face. It looked like it hurt. You didn’t know how he wasn’t crying out for a hospital. You would be if you sustained even half of those injuries.

“As much as we love peas in this house, I don’t think they’re going to be granting you any miracles,” You said, and went back to dabbing with the alcohol wipe. “Your lip is going to need stitches. The cuts too big. It won’t heal right.” “So call my Doctor,” Hiram growled, grumpily. By instinct, you slapped the top of his thigh, making him gasp out in pain and drop the frozen bag onto the ground. It broke open, the little green vegetables scattering across the tiled floor.

“I don’t care how hurt you are, you don’t talk to me like that,” You said, shaking your finger in his face. “I’m just worried about you. I don’t know how many more of these you can take before you have some serious internal injuries. Even Houdini died from a punch to the stomach, and you’re not nearly as good at escaping trouble as he is.”

“Mi amor, comparing me to a dead man,” Hiram groaned, pushing peas off of his lap. You got up again, your legs getting a work out from all of the squats that you were doing tonight, and grabbed another bag of frozen peas. It was weird that there were so many, but even rich people buy stuff that’s on sale sometimes. It’s how you stayed rich.

“You keep this up and you will be a dead man,” You quipped, putting the fresh bag on his face, holding it this time instead of letting him do it. “At least let me look at you, please?”

He finally gave a nod, and you slowly lifted his shirt to see all of the markings and bruises that were on his abdomen. His torso looked like a Jackson Pollock painting with the different shades of colors everywhere. You winced, bringing the shirt back down. You really hated seeing him look like this. You’ve been pleading with him to retire since the last time that he had received a beating like this. Or at the very least, hire someone younger to take his place in these fights. He was getting too old for this. “You should see the other guys,” He quipped.

“I don’t doubt it. And what were they - half your age?” You asked, raising an eyebrow, moving the bag from one eye to the other. “Hiram, my love, don’t you think it’s about time that you think about retiring? We can move away from Riverdale. We can get a spot on the beach somewhere, where it never snows. Where it’s never warm. Where the only damage you have to worry about is getting too much sun. Getting burned. But I’ll take care of you and always put sunscreen on you. Aloe vera if you do end up getting burned. Just - think about it, okay? For me?”

“I can’t give up my business like that,” Hiram shook his head, not even considering the possibility. You sighed. You knew that was going to be his answer. You hadn’t been expecting anything else. And yet you were still disappointed. As per usual. “I cannot be seen as weak or everything that I’ve done so far will have been for nothing. All of that work. I can’t pull out yet.”

“Of course you can’t,” You sighed. “At the very least, can you plan on it in the future? I don’t want to be putting this bag on your eyes when you’re well into your seventies.”

“Do you think we’ll still love peas then, mi amor?” He asked, breaking into a smile despite what must be a lot of pain, especially in his lip area.

“I think the better question is will I still love you them,” You teased. pressing a kiss onto one of the few parts of his face that wasn’t mottled with bruises. “But yes, to both. These are lovepeas, don’t you know. Rumor says that if you put them on the black eye of the person that you love, you’ll be together until the ends of the Earth. Or until there are no more peas. But given how the bees are dying out, that might not even be until the ends of the earth.”

“And your creativity is why I love you, and why I always come home,” Hiram said, taking your wrists around his hands. You smiled gently, loving that he cared about the weird side of you. Not just the well made-up person who was always by his side at work events. He always had a way of making you feel like you were someone special. Someone worth adoring.

Now if only you could actually get him out of the criminal business and move somewhere like Mexico where you can lie on the beach together.

“Do you love me enough to let me leave for a moment to call the Doctor? I am worried about this lip of yours. I need it stitched up and better so I can kiss you again.”

“Yes, I suppose I love you that much.” His thumbs would rub at the underside of your wrists for a moment, and then he would gently release you so you could get up and walk back to the bedroom where your cellphone was waiting. Even leaving him that long seemed like an eternity. You called the doctor while you were on your way back down the stairs, hanging up as you entered the kitchen, just in time to see Hiram picking one of the frozen peas off of the ground and popping it into his mouth.

“What are you doing?” You asked, going for the broom and dustpan to finally clean that mess up.

“Oh, I thought these were the feel-better peas. You eat a couple and then you feel all better until the end of time?” He’d ask, showing his very rare funny side. You laughed and shook your head.

“Let me clean these up then I’ll get you to your chair. The doctor is on his way.”

[sleeping-lilies]

robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

[yanderecandystore]

How about some yandere!giant headcannons please?

(Yes I took the lazy route when drawing this, and if you see people you don't recognize it's because I decided to put my friends in it-)

(( I also had drawn Mikudayo and Miko because I just thought it was funny to make them considering the time I had mistaken them for each other-))

TW/tags: gender neutral reader // I'm gonna make the giant male because you didn't really say giantess? So I'm assuming it's male/gender neutral pronouns // being treated like a doll/pet // kidnapping // language barrier cause I'm yearning- // very generic giant story // delusional thinking // slight stockholm syndrome

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Don't even ask me, y'all read about eldritch creatures so a giant is literally no big deal- [Yandere!Giant x Reader - Headcanon]:

Oh dear, oh goodie, oh Lord-

Does anyone need a bit of context? Maybe a little storyline to start with? I could just go straight to the good stuff though??

Listen- I could pull out so many mother fucking posts under the category of Yandere Giants- Almost all Eldritch content in my blog involves the height difference of: vewy tol x vewy smol UwU

Anyway- Malos, the giant of our story. I'm going to go very generically since I didn't want to say something that could possibly not be of your taste boo-

Malos is your classic troublemaking giant, the type of which you would hear about in fairy tales created to scare the human folk all around your kingdom. All those stories talked about the world beyond the clouds, the giant's kingdom, living their lives in wealth, very far from the ground below where humans (their "favorite delicacy", allegedly) lived.

The one thing that all those stories shared in common was the violent behavior of the tyrants above, their arrogant and greedy nature mixed with the horrifying sightings of giants who would somehow find their way to get on land, specifically targeting a small town to torment. Many have said to have faced a big beast walking around in the woods, some would claim that they actually fought a giant or two, although there is no way to confirm such bold claims of being true.

Were you a common townsfolk who got themselves too far into the woods? An adventurer finding their way into a town surrounded by mystery? Or were you perhaps a noble who by terrible misfortune, had their carriage be stuck during a heavy storm in the dark of night?

It doesn't really matter which one you choose, considering that what happens next would be inevitable. You get lost at the dead of night, the townsfolk not even being able to comprehend how someone can simply disappear like this. You would wake up at a place you couldn't even begin to recognize, it was a very well decorated room yet none of it felt familiar to you.

Maybe it was because of how fancy and modern it was compared to what you were more accustomed with on land, or maybe it was the simple fact that everything in this room was awfully huge compared to you. It took you quite some time to realize that you were not only on top of a massive bed- But that you were trapped inside a bird cage.

Before you could question whether you were having a hallucination or not, your joyful captor made its way inside the bedroom. With such a blissful expression that makes a chill run down your spine- He was so big, it was obvious your captor would have been a giant considering your current location, yet it still shocked you for some reason.

Much to your dismay, your captor does not speak the same language as you, which made you scream at him to free you and put you back where he found you. You have noticed he wasn't understanding a single word coming out of your mouth the moment you started crying at the giant, begging for mercy in fear of what could be your destiny here.

Yet here you were, just- Being observed by such gentle eyes, concerned of your current state. He could talk and shush your cries all he wanted, but you couldn't understand a single thing he meant, the only certainty in this case being the fact you ain't getting out of here so soon.

Malos isn't evil, even if you can't understand what he says- You can tell he is very gentle with you, maybe because he sees how scared and panicky you are, or because he sees you as a pet- Who knows?

He did give you a lot of signs of seeing you as possibly just a "pocket companion", a pet and a doll, someone he could take care of and take wherever he wanted. You noticed how there was no one else who lived with him, maybe he was that lonely and desperate to find a friend that he took you- Without considering your actual feelings on the action.

You weren't too small compared to him, you were basically the height of his hand- A small doll to him, just for him. Whatever life you used to have could be kissed goodbye at this point, because even if you wish everything could go back to normal, that ain't happening, boo.

Malos loves dressing you up, giving you little trinkets to use, giving you small portions of his own food, hearing you make all those lovely sounds he doesn't understand one bit off yet it is still willing to try and comprehend it. He is a very skilled crafter, you know? He knows how to create small toys that will make wonderful gifts for you, at least in his own mind.

Whatever situation you were in that would have brought you to meet him, he would have thought the same thing regardless of what background you could choose for yourself- In Malos eyes, you were lost in the cold of the night, looking so lonely and in need of someone's attention, which he could relate to since he was also lonely and looking for company.

Malos is quite delusional, he has his moments where he has to face reality as a lonely toy maker who kidnapped a human to be his little companion. In these moments of lucidity, he will look at you as if he was lost, as if he was searching for an answer- A confirmation of his actions.

And looking at your cute small little self, confirms his beliefs. You were lost, he was also lost- Yet you found each other, and that's all that matters for him.

After being faced with so much love and attention, considering how weeks and months have passed since he got you here, it's not hard to imagine you feeling more comfortable in his presence.

His skin is so much warmer than yours, his rough hands hold you with such care- It's hard to not give yourself in to his gentle touches, to his incomprehensible whispers, he has such a smooth voice that is hard to not enjoy listening to it.

You didn't plan this to happen- But on each day that passes by, you start feeling like being taken care off is way better than having to fend for yourself down there with the other humans. His company has been so heartwarming, and it hurts you the times he has to go out and take long periods of time outside his house, probably selling his toys or even buying more food for you two.

It's so unfortunate to think that you, someone who was once a person, was now submitting to him and enjoying being treated like this- You would curse at yourself for being so weak, so desperate for his affection, to the point you enjoy being petted and loved as a doll.

With Malos, you could ignore the voices screaming at you to get yourself out of his house in the clouds, but whenever you were left alone locked inside a doll house he built, you would cry yourself to sleep until you could ignore your conscience telling you how much of a failure you are.

If Malos was somehow aware of this confusing thoughts inside you, he would try his best to calm you down, while also pulling you closer to the confirmation that he is here to help you, to take care of you and that there is no shame in you liking him as well. He already loves you so much, he just needs you to do the same for him.

However, Malos isn't always gentle with you- Not only is he easily excited, but he is also easily angered, very childishly. His outbursts are never on you, but rather on the things around you. You can feel the table under you shake whenever he has his temper tantrums, you can see him taking away some of your items as a form of punishment in case you have been acting up.

He would also give you an ice shoulder for some time if he felt as if you were in need of apologizing (even if he didn't understand your language, he could still see through your mannerisms if you were truly sorry or not). He wouldn't ignore you for long, considering how he is also very touch-starved, which leads into the next point:

Malos loves petting you, and touching you. You're soft and squishy and so charming to hold- How can he not love you to bits??!

He gets very confused sometimes, he isn't sure if he sees you as a small pet-like companion, or as a possible- Well, partner. His adoration towards you will start to twist into actual romantic interest, and I warn you to be careful darling-

The moment he sets his mind into something, it's nearly impossible to change it back.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[ghostly-voices]

As the camera flickers to life, three people can be seen standing in front of it. Thirteen others are behind them, all smiling. Some of them were also crying, but all wore smiles. They were transparent in body standards, too, and one could see the wall through them. Many of them had wounds, as well. Suddenly, one of the three opaque ones begins speaking.

"I don't... really know how to begin this... Nyeh... This is why I needed Angie's and Tenko's help... Um... I'm Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Mage... I'm not a magician... I'm a mage... Though they do call me the Ultimage Magician officially, but that's because they're keeping it secret..."

Her tone sounds somewhat lazy, and maybe even a little bored. She then takes a step back, causing the girl wearing red to take a step forward.

"I'm Maki Harukawa, the Ultimate Assassin. I'm not here to cause any trouble, but just as a way to vent about our little issue. See, the thing is, we were forced into a game where we had to kill each other. There were sixteen of us. We were the only survivors. Three out of sixteen made it out alive... It's just sickening."

"Mm, I'm called Shuichi Saihara, referred to as the Ultimate Detective. Yes, our therapist suggested this as a way to vent and get our emotions out. Future Foundation cleared us. Mister Hagakure did say he sensed a dark presence over us... Probably our bad luck. That, or he's gone crazy."

The three nod in unison, and then walk off. That causes one of the thirteen in the background to step forward. She has sickening purple marks around her neck, as if she had been strangled.

"Uh, you probably heard just now, but thirteen died. We're those thirteen. Strange, right? We're ghosts. Well, the thing is... we can't move onto the afterlife until these three recover from our deaths, and we'd really like to not have to stick around here forever. So if you would be willing to do us a small favor, could you guys all give us a promo? Please? If you can see us, that is."

(( Feel free to ignore or interact if not tagged! ))

@ask-timid-makoto-naegi @celestia-ludenburg-official @ask-sonia-nevermind @human-monokuma @ask-v3scollector @ask-hiyoko @despairisthenewhope @askultimatemoralcompass @askultimateluckytrash @your-despairful-ruler @hopeforthefuture @ask-the-ultimate-hope @bloody-wrenchs @ask-kuzuryuclan @ask-mahiru-koizumi @ask-miu-iruma @ask-shsl-gamer @ask-astuttery-nurse @ask-aoi-asahina-hina @xx-oumax3-xx @werewolf-makoto-naegi @ask-chihirofujisaki @bikerandbreeder @rich-bitch-togami @ask-komarunaegi

[ackermanshoe]

March comes in like a lion, it's Portrayal of toxic & healthy relationship and how to compares rivamika + Ereh

Que the longest title everr 😌✨

So before I start on the actual analysis, I recently started watching March comes in like a lion instead of doing my assignments and I half way through season 2. For those of you who haven't watched it, it might be a spoilers so beware of that.

In this analysis I'll be comparing the similarities I found between Rei, Hina and Kyoko.

So watching any anime after being do emotionally attached to rivamika it's only natural that I compare them to the characters with even the tiniest bit similarities in their dynamic but Rei and hina's relationship jump in episode 4 of season 2 really caught me off guard and I was like omg?? Rivamika?? How do I make this about them 😩

Anyway so a little background on Rei's relationship with both girls Kyoko and Hina ( Hinata ). Firstly, i subconsciously placed Rei has Mikasa, kyoko has Eren and Hina as Levi, why? You will know on a minute. Rei is a depressed kid who has known only one way of life and that's through shogi games and after his parents death ( cough cough ) he was taken in by a old friend ( I think ) of his dad's who was also obsessed with shogi. Kyoko is the biological daughter of this man who has "adopted" Rei and later on Rei was came to know Hina and her sisters, they were super supportive of him from the start and having lost family members themselves they related to him on a personal level.

So you see why Eren and mikasa's dynamic matches with Rei and Kyoko and not only as "step siblings" it's also the fact that Rei became somewhat obsessed with her through the time he had spent over at their house, it's toxic and it's been showcased that way ever since kyoko was introduced into the series. Rei thought of her when he heard the word "love" and he even admitted to the fact that having her around is toxic and yet he can't push her away. He said he does not want to stop hearing her voice even tho she , herself is in love with a much older man who is married. Everytime she showed up to his bedroom uninvited and slept next to him my mind went "he is in love with her and their relationship is so toxic why does the author keep bringing her into his life?" Or "girl get the fuck away from him".

Without even thinking too much deep into their physical connection I already knew I would be able to related this dynamic to Eren and Mikasa. Although this series gives us much more depth into the main characters views since it's narrated from his own perspective, and the fact that he metaphorically compared his feelings of being lost and sadness helps me as an audience to understand what's happening much much easier than attack on titan. I personally feel like this kind of series are usually short ( idk how long this is) because it feels like the author knows exactly what he is going for, everything is set in stone.

Going back to Rei's ( mikasa's) relationship with kyoko ( Eren ) it's much much clear how toxic it had become for him in more than just one way. And the show isn't denying Rei of his feelings towards Kyoko and it's not even attempting to distant him from her and yet you just knew there had to be someone better right? That's when they introduced Hina and Kyoko in the same episode, meeting each other and a sense of invisible rivalry gushed over them, especially Hina. She is a happy go lucky girl and extremely sensitive to things to the point it kinda annoys me everytime she bursts out crying ( but hey you can't hate a genuinely good character ).

That's where things get interesting for me maybe because I am on that Levi X Mikasa agenda all the time but just like rivamika their relationship has been portrayed as platonic for the longest time in the seaosns. If I didn't go out of way to search up who Rei falls in love with and it didn't say hina's name I probably wouldn't be making this comparison right now because who wants to have their heart broken for the 2nd time in the same fucking month 🙄.

Anyway so in this one episode Hina comes home crying because of bullying issue at school and as she runs off into the dark streets Rei chases her and eventually catching up to her takes her hand and being able to relate to her problems, comparing his younger self to her present Rei reaches out his hand and God fucking damn it he says "you saved my life..I promise I'll stay with you" ofc I'm making this post now you know the real reason 🤡.

The unseen build up that happen between them reminds me of rivamika, the Portrayal of healthy relationship is rivamika. Hina (in our case Levi ) to Rei is the voice of emotion, she speaks out the feelings that Rei has been surpassing all these years inside of him. Just like how we talked about Levi is the voice of reason, while Mikasa has the impulsive urge to act up. Just like how Levi became the perosn who reasonably always took mikasa's side, he gave her personal reasons to take Erens side everytime have an actual meaning towards the scouts / everyone , he then became someone Mikasa was able to object & voice out her opinion towards because she knew that he would response and guide her the right way and finally he became someone she was able to fully trust.

Much like Hina and Rei, when Hina cried out her heart and Rei couldn't help but go back to his past self and imagine Hina coming to him and giving him a hand, being his saviour. It's much like how Levi saw his past self in Mikasa present ( S1 ), Levi gave Mikasa the hand she needed when she didn't know she needed.

Hina despite being much younger than him, was able to make him realise that he too was shutting out his emotions and was able to let himself be free through Hina when she cried, expressing her frustrations and very human like emotions. In the forest of the giant trees when Mikasa and Levi saved Eren for the first time he told her " we got your precious friend, didn't we?" A slight wake up call he had given her for the very first time, an attack on Mikasa's ego and evoking a different emotions within her. Like telling her it's not only about Eren and getting revenge, risking your life so easily, Levi had lost his entire squad in order to protect Eren so now that he is safe they better leave now.

So the question is did Levi and Mikasa save each other?

What can I say that I haven't said already in here about these two?

"you saved my life" Rei says to Hina as he reached out her hand and the beauty of that scene was the fact that it was delicate and soft despite it not being anything romantic. Remind me of that panel of Mikasa touching Levi's shoulder. How ironic is the fact that I'm comparing Hina, a openly emotional character to Levi who is said to be the most emotional inside?

Levi physically saved Mikasa a lot of the time however emotionally Levi saved Mikasa from being selfish and from herself. What if I said and ignoring 139, that Levi was one of of the biggest reasons Mikasa took the initiative and decapitated Eren that day?

Wait why does it feel like I already said it before lol

Through Levi, Mikasa learnt to trust more, learnt that even though they gave difference not only in height, age and in how they treat Eren ( Levi with force and Mikasa with care ), Mikasa still came in terms with Levi and relied on him, shared her burden with him. I think that's the biggest character twist Mikasa had, the fact that she was ready to draw sword at anyone who treated Eren wrong and everyone was scared of her and then came the grumpy shorty who beat her beloved brother right in front of her but eventually he became the biggest form of support she had in the end. I just can not help but laugh at all the unseen development this ship has had and all the implication of Futher interaction after season 3 between them, it's really obvious they had something going on because imagine you don't talk to someone for like 3 years and suddenly when you engage in battle against , paired up with them suddenly you become the strongest duo known to humanity. +?)!#)# make it make sense.

Sooo now you see the that having toxic relationship with a partner is only natural and inevitable but growing from that, opening your eyes to those who actually care there for you is rather healthy. So moral of the story is guys make sure stick with those who tells you to stay with them, the end.

Omg guys this turned out so much longer than I intended, anyway hopefully y'all liked it. I know it's not the strongest comparison or analysis but I feel like I'm running out of words for what I want to say about rivamika it feels like I'm recycling my sentences from previous analysis over and over again because ✨ lack of content ✨ and my inability to think of something new.

Please ignore all my spelling mistakes I have decided to embrace my mistakes instead of fixing them simply because I'm too lazy 😉

💜💜💜

[duskholland]

Say Goodnight | Harrison Osterfield

Summary ↠ you and Harrison broke up before he left to chase his dreams in Hollywood. With 5,000 miles between you, you’re both struggling to adjust to life without the other; exes to lovers; prompt: “why did you call me at 2 in the morning?”

Warnings ↠ angst with a happy ending, a breakup, one curse word?

Word Count ↠ 2.7k

A/N ↠ I miss Harrison. A lot. And I haven’t written enough for him, so...here ya go! This is definitely inspired by Ariana Grande’s song goodnight n go, which never fails to hit me in the feels (listen to the version from her live album... it’s magic).

This is also my fic for @t-holland2080​‘s writing challenge! Thanks so much for hosting such a fun challenge Sammy - I hope you enjoy this :)

(a repost because tumblr decided to block me out the tags lmao)

You didn’t think it was possible to cry this much.

Harrison’s standing in front of you, glistening tear tracks running down his rosy cheeks. His eyes shift over your face, guiltily running the lines and curves of your cheeks and your forehead, trying desperately to stay away from your eyes, because you both know that seeing the heartbreak reflected in his icy blue gaze will be too much. Your chest hurts and you’re shaking, but you know that everything he’s said is true. You know that breaking up is for the best.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“I still love you,” Harrison tells you quietly. He rocks back on his feet, his teeth grazing his lower lip before he adds, “I’ll always love you, Y/N. The timing just…”

“The timing isn’t right,” you finish. With shaky hands, you reach up behind your neck and your fingers fiddle with the clasp of the necklace Harrison had draped around you, all those months ago. He makes a small sound of objection as the chain falls heavily into your hands and you hold it out in front of you. “Keep it,” you urge. You finally let yourself meet his eyes, and you try to stay strong as you grab his hand and push the chain into his palm. “So you don’t forget about me whilst you’re off being a movie star.”

Harrison reluctantly pockets the chain, his eyes lingering on the solid curve of the H. “I could never forget about you, Y/N.”

It’s not fair. It’s not fair that the only way Harrison can pursue his dreams is 5,000 miles away, across the Atlantic in America. It’s even more unfair that you can’t go with him because you’re enrolled in university in London. But worst of all, neither of you signed up for a long-distance relationship when you first began dating, and now you’ve had to come to the mutual, heartbreaking decision that breaking up is going to be easier than stringing out a virtual relationship together. It doesn’t matter that you love Harrison more than you’ve ever loved another person, nor that he holds you so closely to his heart that he’s certain you’ve somehow intertwined yourself with his soul: long-distance is too much, and you both think you’ll be too busy to maintain your relationship. Neither of you want to sit by and watch your relationship break down.

So breaking up is simpler, supposedly.

“You should go,” you find yourself saying, swallowing down the lump in your throat. Your hand rests on your front door knob, the cool brass feeling icy against your warm skin. You use your other hand to sweep beneath your cheeks, trying to stop the endless flow of tears from your eyes. “Don’t want you to miss your flight, Haz.”

He runs his hand through his hair, a grimace spread across his face.

“I- Are you sure this is the right choice?” He asks, echoing the words you’ve both been saying for days.

You shrug helplessly. “I don’t know,” you admit. “But I know that I can’t stand here waiting for you to walk away any longer.” You release a deep breath. “Just go, Harrison. Please.”

And he looks like he really wants to stay. His feet twitch, as if he’s about to push his way back into your flat and throw himself down on the sofa like he’s done a thousand times before. But his eyes pass over your tearful, heart stricken face, and he finally sighs, slipping his hands into his back pockets as he manages a weak smile.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he says softly, his lips curving around the words with ease. The way he says your name so fondly causes the pain in your chest to crack and expand.

“Bye, Harrison.”

And then he turns, slowly, and you watch as he drags his feet down the corridor. Harrison pauses when he reaches the staircase, one hand on the door as he casts his eyes back towards you. Your mouth twitches into a smile instinctively: the sight of his face, his loose blond curls, and his friendly smile never fails to make you feel warmer - even now, as he walks out of your life, taking a piece of your heart with him.

You raise your hand in a final wave, and then Harrison steels himself and walks through the door at the end of the corridor, leaving you standing alone in your doorway, a lump in your throat and a weight hanging so heavily in your heart that you know you won’t be forgetting him any time soon.

[-----]

Life without Harrison is hard.

Before you’d started dating him a year ago, you hadn’t believed love could feel so fulfilling or right. But then you’d stumbled into him at Tom’s birthday party and you’d immediately hit it off, and everything had changed. You think it would be hard not to instantly fall in love with Harrison: he’s charming, witty, and he carries such a bright light in his eyes that he had you hook, line, and sinker within the first ten minutes of your conversation.

As you try to move on, you find Harrison haunting your every move. You open Instagram and you see his posts and stories staring you right in the face, broadcasting his life out in LA with his new friends and castmates, and it stings. When you strike out and find yourself in the pub with Sam, all you can think about is how you used to frequent the place with him, and your eyes find the corner booth you’d used to sit in, your figure usually curled up in Harrison’s lap. You can almost feel the presence of his slender, delicate fingers wrapped around your waist as you gaze longingly at the booth.

And the most frustrating part of it all? Harrison seems fine. He seems completely unbothered, which just serves to twist the knife further into your chest every time your thumb hovers over his contact photo, or you start writing out a lengthy, emotional text. You’ve heard nothing from him, and it makes you question everything you’d thought you’d had together.

Everything changes one Wednesday night, around six weeks after Harrison had left.

You’re woken up by the loud, shrill ringing of your phone. You try to ignore it at first, groaning as you roll over on your side and try to press your head into your pillows, but it just keeps going, and it seems to rattle louder against your skull the longer it prattles on. So, after releasing a stream of your best expletives, you roll over and snatch it off your bedside table, accepting the call before you’ve even had time to check the caller ID.

“Hello?” You croak, clearing your throat immediately as you hear the fatigue hanging heavy in your throat.

“Y/N.”

Suddenly you’re wide awake.

“Harrison?!” You exclaim, sitting bolt upright. You bring your knees to your chest as you pull the duvet around you, trying to hide beneath the warm sheets as if they’ll protect you from the way that hearing his voice unleashes an onslaught of painful emotions. “What’s going on?”

Harrison doesn’t reply for a few moments, but merely the sound of his level, familiar breathing is enough to bring tears to your eyes. You try to push them away as your heart races in your chest, so many emotions flying through your heart that it feels consuming.

“Uh, nothing,” he eventually says softly. “Sorry. It doesn’t matter.”

“Then why did you call me at 2 in the morning?”

The sound of his chuckle is forced, but it’s so lovely to hear him again that you can’t stop yourself from smiling. “Oh, I didn’t realise it was so late,” he says, “‘m sorry, love.”

“It’s okay. I missed your voice.” It slips out before you can really stop it.

“I missed your voice too,” Harrison admits, voice thick. “I miss you so much, Y/N.”

You swallow deeply, running your fingers over the crinkles of your duvet as you think. Your mind runs slowly, clouded with your fatigue and your emotions, and you really don’t know how to take this all, but you know that hearing his voice makes you happy - more happy than you’ve felt in weeks.

“I miss you too,” you mumble down the line. Your fingers ache from how tightly you’re gripping the phone. “How’s LA?”

Harrison chuckles, and you hear a noise in the background as if he’s climbing into a bed. You can almost imagine him: his lanky legs spreading out over the sheets, a low groan slipping past his lips as he stretches out his arms and back. That lazy pink smirk hanging freely from his perfect lips. The image burns into your eyelids.

“LA is mad,” he tells you honestly. “It’s a whole different world over here, Y/N. It’s… It’s exciting, but it’s so different to London. I wish it would all slow down.”

“You’re really busy then?”

He hums lightly. “Yeah. I’m either on-set or doing fittings or rehearsals.”

“Are you having fun?”

Harrison takes a while to ponder your question.

“Yes,” he says, bringing a swell of tears to the front of your eyes. “But I’d be so much happier if you were here too.”

You try to disguise your sniffles, but you’re almost certain he can hear them. “Well… I’m not,” you manage. “I’m glad it’s giving you everything you wanted.”

There’s a very awkward, very thick silence that envelops the line, and it makes you shift uncomfortably in your sheets.

“I should let you sleep,” Harrison says, guilt lacing his words. “I’m sorry for waking you up. I shouldn’t have called you.”

“Oh, okay.” Your free hand clenches into a hard fist as you try to stop your lower lip from wobbling. “Don’t worry about it, Haz. I’m always here if you want someone to talk to.” A small smile flicks out across your lips. “Doesn’t matter what time it is.” I love you - those three unspoken words hang between you. You can feel them, surrounding you, smothering you, and you can almost hear them on the tip of Harrison’s tongue, so you jump in to add, “Goodnight, Harrison,” because you really can’t bear to hear them.

You can feel his reluctance, but you release a deep breath as he says, begrudgingly, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You hang up quickly, your fingers trembling as you toss the phone down the bed. The blank screen stares at you, taunting you, and you’re overcome with such a strong sense of regret that you almost reach out and call him back. Your body craves him - his soft, melodic voice, his gentle words, his love.

Your phone starts ringing, and you snatch it back up, eyes taking in the image of Harrison’s contact photo as he flashes over the screen. You accept it without a second thought.

“I don’t want to say goodnight yet,” Harrison says immediately, words falling into one another. “I don’t want to stop talking to you, Y/N. Can we please keep talking? Just for a bit.” He pauses, his voice breaking. “I miss you.”

The relieved smile on your face shows no sign of budging. “I don’t wanna say goodnight either, Haz.”

[-----]

It’s a bad habit, but for the entire time Harrison is away, you end up on the phone with him each evening. The first few times had been fairly spontaneous, but soon it becomes a habit: every day, as Harrison finishes filming, he gives you a call and you have a long, rambling conversation. It breaks up your sleep, but you grow so used to it that you start setting an alarm at 1.50am just so you can grab a cup of tea and wake yourself up before he calls.

It’s definitely inadvisable to stay so connected to your ex-boyfriend, but it feels too good to quit. Harrison is your drug, and every time you hang up the phone, you’re left feeling sad and hollow inside. But it eases the pain of having him so far away, and maybe a part of you deludes yourself by reasoning that your calls are helping you get over him: cutting him out completely was too hard, but maybe sharing these phone calls will help you. Eventually he’ll stop calling, and you’ll be able to heal, because you’ll have practised saying goodbye so many times it’ll feel normal.

But Harrison doesn’t stop calling, and you don’t stop answering, and soon enough, he’s been away for six months, and he’s preparing to move back to London, his film complete.

You don’t really know where you stand with him, if you’re being completely honest. He’s still your ex - but you’re still helplessly in love with him, and you’re fairly sure that most exes don’t spend hours on the phone each day, chatting and laughing like you’re still together. You try to bring it up with him, but every time you start the conversation, your heart clenches in your chest and you wimp out.

You ignore the difficult conversation for as long as you can - which lasts until you hear a loud knock on your front door, and you know that it’s him.

It feels almost like a gravitational pull, drawing you back to his figure. You’ve spent all day pacing your flat, fussing over your hair and your outfit, but for the entire time you’ve spent waiting on his flight arriving, you haven’t been sure if you’d be able to open the door and face him. But now you know that he’s here, your heart seems to act of your own accord.

You wrench your door open, and immediately you’re pulled into a tight, crushing hug. It knocks the air out of your lungs and you wheeze as you feel that familiar set of curls brushing up against your neck, and you feel a few tears slip from your eyes as you take it all in. He’s back.

“Haz,” you exclaim, your voice choked with tears. His hands move over your back, clinging to you, drawing you as close as possible as his rich, earthy cologne invades your system. It doesn’t even matter that his jacket has a collection of chilly raindrops clinging to the leather, because it feels so fucking perfect to have him so near you again that you can’t focus on anything other than him.

“I missed you,” he whimpers, as he pulls away from your neck. His large hands fall on your shoulders as he stares at you intently, his focused eyes whipping the air from your lungs. He looks so cute that you can’t really stop yourself from shifting closer and pressing your lips to his. Immediately you relax, and he does too, and he kisses you back softly. Your mouths are tender at first, pressing together softly - testingly - but as you wrap your hands around his waist and bring him closer, it deepens. Your mind spins with dizzy, overwhelming happiness as you revel in the feeling of Harrison, enjoying him utterly, your heart thrumming happily against your ribs.

“I missed you so much,” you mumble against his lips, kissing him between each word. Your fingers drift into his hair, and you smile as he hums in agreement.

“We are so stupid,” he says, drawing a laugh from your lips. “Can’t believe we ever thought breaking up was for the best.” His mouth shifts up to press a lingering kiss to your forehead. “I love you so much, Y/N. Please, can we get back together?” His words are desperate, but they echo the things you’ve been feeling for months, and hearing them is such a relief that you simply have to kiss him again.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whisper, moving to rest your forehead on his shoulder. Harrison brings you into a warm hug, and you let him hold you as you breathe him in. “I missed you. I love you.” You tilt your head back, meeting his eyes gleefully. “I’m so glad that you’re back.”

Harrison reaches down and pulls a familiar, glinting chain from his pocket. Your gaze softens as you pull away from him and tilt your head, letting him wrap the necklace back around your neck. The H pendant settles gently over your chest, and it feels like coming home.

“Perfect,” he comments, and you’re not sure if he’s talking about you or the necklace, but you’re willing to accept either.

With a warm smile on your face, you move aside and welcome him inside. “D’you want a cup of tea?” You offer.

Harrison steps across the threshold and presses a final, loving kiss to your lips. “There’s nothing I’d like more.”

----

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[mostlycompetentwriter]

TMT One-Shot

F/M Pairing: Y/N x 3racha (Stray Kids)

Word Count: 8K

Genre: High School AU

Warnings: Lots of smut and language; mentions of alcohol

Summary: Y/N is the shy, awkward girl who can’t talk to boys while doing her best to exist as a shadow throughout her high school life. Her two brothers, Minho and Felix, are the complete opposite. Minho is the cool, suave music addict who wants to be in his own band one day, while Felix is the stereotypical popular kid whose best friend, Han Jisung, tirelessly trails after his friend’s older sister. However, despite their differences, the three siblings share a very close relationship and Y/N considers them to be her only real friends. 

One day, Minho brings home two classmates from his community college and Y/N realizes, for the very first time, that the sweet taste of desire is highly addictive.

When my mother died, I was only 10-years-old. She slipped away like a ghost, quietly and without notice, and I was left feeling broken on the inside. If I was a therapist, unlike the contemptuous older woman who always spoke to me with a condescending tone, I’d likely attribute the traumatic event to the person I started to become. 

Instead of bouncing back from her death like my brothers Minho and Felix, I started to feel sad all the time. Accordingly, I lost many of the friends I met in Elementary school because I chose to sit quietly in my classes when I didn't feel like talking to anyone else. Likewise, I also declined their invitations to visit their houses or ride with their parents to the movie theaters. Actually, I exchanged those friendships for the solitude of my bedroom at home where I usually spent the evening staring vacantly at the ceiling while trying not to cry anymore.

Yeah, I guess it was kinda my fault.

Overtime, my status evolved from the kind, amiable Y/N who everyone at school admired, to the sullen and despondent weird girl who sometimes spoke to imaginary friends. I spent recesses inside with my teachers, helping them clean the whiteboard. During lunch, I sat alone with my school tray and thought about how my mother used to pack my lunches for me because I complained about the mystery meatloaf....Oh, right, thinking about my mother inevitably made me feel sad again and sometimes I cried at school in front of my classmates. 

Needless to say, my youth wasn’t exactly as voracious as my peers...or even my brothers for that matter. Actually, Minho and Felix were perfectly normal because they mourned our mother’s death for several months before inexplicably moving on as if it had never happened. Thereafter, Minho developed a passion for music and my father allowed him to take guitar and piano lessons after school. Felix started to play sports and he was quite good at baseball despite his smaller stature. Likewise, in between classes, I heard my classmates frequently gossiping about my brothers: mysterious and alluring Minho who all the older girls adored, and popular and beloved Felix who was the envy of our classmates. 

I didn’t mind being considered an outsider in comparison to my brothers because they still treated me like a friend. In fact, my brothers and I were extremely close, especially after our mother’s death. Despite my introverted tendencies, Minho and Felix often went out of their way to include me in their activities. For example, Minho liked to offer his demos as background music for the raunchier parties in our town and he always begged me to come along and hear his new songs. My older brother was so incredibly talented that I rarely refused his offers, finding myself sitting next to Felix in the backseat of Minho’s car while we drove across town to the wealthier districts. I would spend the rest of the night hanging around my brothers while listening to Minho sing about everything from his ex-girlfriends to the pot he liked to smoke with some of the younger guys.

In any case, I could always count on my brothers to liven my spirits, which might explain why I was so uncomfortable when Minho graduated and applied for University. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing because Minho was only driving thirty minutes everyday to attend his classes and he still lived at home. But it still felt like an unwanted change, and I wasn’t sure how to cope with my brother’s sudden desire to build a studio in the basement of our childhood home while he brought new classmates to fawn over his equipment.

Thankfully, I managed to avoid the unfamiliar faces, and I started spending more time with Felix. Unfortunately, spending time with Felix inevitably forced me to endure the endless pandering from some of his more unsavory acquaintances. For example, when I wanted to play video games one afternoon, I knocked twice on Felix’s door only to find myself in the company of someone who was decidedly the complete opposite of my brother. His name was Han Jisung, and he was Felix’s best friend. “Y/N,” he said quietly, sheepishly attempting to fix the mop on top of his head. “How are you?”

“Fine,” I said, glancing over Jisung’s shoulder. “Where’s Felix?”

“Bathroom,” Jisung said, pointing at the door. 

I groaned. “Are you busy?”

“We’re never too busy for you,” Jisung smirked, but he always flirted with me shamelessly as if he didn’t care that I was Felix’s older sister.

I ignored Jisung when I walked into Felix’s bedroom, finding a relatively clean spot on his bed to wait for his return. In the meantime, Jisung lingered by the doorway, watching me with those ridiculous dark eyes. “I heard Minho made another demo.”

“He’s always making demos,” I replied, wondering why Felix was determined to take his time for once.

“Yeah, but he’s really proud of this one.”

“Minho thinks he’s a genius,” I said. “If you were to ask him, then every song he made would be a masterpiece.”

“Well, he’s the reason why I've started to pursue music.”

“You?” I scoffed, finding the idea of Jisung as a creator of anything other than enormous messes on the kitchen counter to be nothing short of hilarious. “Jisung, you can’t even finish your math homework.”

“That’s not true!” Jisung protested. “It’s just not that interesting, and I like music so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You’ll find something else to like in a few months,” I said, watching as he frowned with that ridiculous pout he always wore when he wasn’t getting his way.

“Yeah? Well, when my first mixtape comes out,” Jisung grumbled. 

“I’ll be the first one asking for an autograph,” I teased him, rolling my eyes when he sat next to me and held up his pinky finger.

“Promise?”

“Fine,” I sighed before trying to move further away from Jisung.

He didn’t allow the space for very long, sliding right up against me without any traces of his previous frustrations. “Y/N,” Jisung said, hand reaching out for my shoulder. “There’s a party this Friday.”

“I’m not in the mood for a party,” I said. “I have a lot of homework this weekend, and-”

“Actually, Minho invited us,” Felix interrupted, and I didn’t even realize that my brother had returned. I was also surprised to see Minho behind him, stretching his arms above his head like he had forgotten to sleep again last night.

“You’re going too?” I asked Minho.

“It’s Chan’s party,” Minho explained. “He’s playing some of my demo tracks.”

“Bang Chan,” I repeated, narrowing my eyes because I had heard my brother mention that name dozens of times. Actually, if I didn’t know any better, then I would think Minho had some kind of infatuation with his new college friend.

“I think Minho is in love,” Felix teased, dodging Minho’s playful swing before he joined Jisung and I on the edge of his bed.

“He’s just a friend from one of my lectures,” Minho said. 

“Minho also thinks he’s a genius,” Felix whispered to me, but it was loud enough for our brother to overhear. 

“You like him too,” Minho protested.

“Felix met him?”

“Last week,” Felix beamed. “Minho and I ran into him on the way to get coffee. Your lazy ass was still asleep at 12:00.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled. “I stayed up late to finish an essay.”

“College will kick your ass, Y/N,” Minho said. “If you can’t survive high school literature...”

“I get it,” I groaned. “I don’t want another lecture.”

“Good, but you’re still coming to the party because I want you to meet Chan and hear your brother’s masterpiece.”

“Please stop calling your mixtape a masterpiece.”

“I’ll consider it,” Minho smirked, “as long as I see you at Chan’s house this Friday.”

“This is considered blackmail, Minho,” I sighed. “But fine, I’ll need the time and address, please.”

I stood on the porch in the frigid cold wearing a party dress that might’ve been overkill, and I had a desire to return to my house because nobody was answering the door. Actually, when I really thought about it, this complex was too nice for a college student, unless Chan had discovered Blackbeard’s treasure or something. I snorted at my own joke, waiting impatiently for someone to let me inside because my brothers weren’t responding to my text messages. 

The music sounded faint from behind the door, which made me wonder if Minho had given me the wrong address. It wouldn’t be the first time that my brother gave me some kind of misinformation, but I thought he really wanted me to come tonight and hear his music. “Hello!” I yelled, banging my fist against the door. “Minho? I’m leaving in exactly ten seconds if nobody lets me inside!”

I started the countdown in my head, jumping up and down to warm my muscles, when a sudden expulsion of heat relieved the tension slowly numbing my fingers. “There you are,” Felix said with a drunken smile.

“Isn’t too early for you to be plastered?”

Felix giggled. “They’re playing Minho’s music next.”

“Well, let me inside you asshole,” I said, pushing my way into the house because my brother had clearly forgotten that it was basically snowing outside.

“What do you think?” Felix asked. “It’s pretty nice.”

“I can’t see anything,” I complained, narrowing my eyes since it was difficult to notice the details when the house was packed wall to wall with intoxicated college students. The lights were also dimmed, which meant that walking was an unnecessary chore as Felix took my hand and brought me into the kitchen where he promised Minho was waiting.

At least he wasn’t fully incapable. 

“Y/N,” Minho grinned, tossing an arm around my shoulder as he pulled me closer, allowing me to smell the nasty liquor on his breath.

“Drunk at your mixtape reveal party?”

Minho laughed. “I haven’t had much.”

“Felix has,” I said, grimacing when I spotted my younger brother bouncing from person to person with an unmaintainable energy.

“Let him have fun,” Minho said. “I’m keeping an eye on him.”

“Whatever, but he’s your responsibility in the morning when he’s suffering from a hangover.”

“I’ll handle it,” Minho reassured me. “Anyway, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“Oh?”

“Chan! Get your ass over here!”

“What a good friend you are,” I remarked, and I was fully prepared to tease my brother further until I realized that Minho was waving down one of the most attractive men I had ever seen.

Chan was absolutely gorgeous, appearing nothing short of debauched under the low-hanging lights of the kitchen. Neatly styled blonde-hair parted down the middle, and bright blue eyes that held the stars inside an endless sea of black. “Are you guys having fun?” he asked with an accent that I couldn’t place.

“The place is fucking awesome, man,” Minho said, wrapping an arm around Chan’s shoulders as he nodded in my direction. “This is my sister,” Minho said with a proud smile. 

“Hello,” I said, cringing at my tone.

“Y/N,” Chan smiled, and I decided that nobody could ever say my name again with such a sexy tenor.

“You have a lovely home,” I said, swallowing hard when Chan leaned in closer. 

“Minho talks about you a lot,” Chan said with a smirk. “Do you want something to drink?”

I nodded without thinking, keeping my eyes trained on his beautiful visage as a beer slipped into my hand. “Pace yourself,” Minho warned me, but I ignored him as I swallowed down the bile-tasting liquid.

“I like her,” Chan nodded, looking at me seductively from over the top of his bottle.

“She’s a bit uptight,” Minho chuckled, and I glared at him because this was not the time to embarrass me. “Are my songs playing next?”

“I’ll make sure everything is ready,” Chan said, giving me one last lingering look.

“Let’s find a good place to hear everything,” Minho suggested, and I followed my brother with thoughts and fantasies consumed by Bang Chan.

Minho’s mixtape was really good, and I begrudgingly congratulated my brother and even allowed him to tell everyone that it was, in fact, a masterpiece. However, while my brother was distracted by a group of younger fan-girls, I slipped away to try and find somewhere peaceful to recover from my headache. It had developed sometime between the pounding bass line of “BEWARE” and the aggressive tone of “Boxer.” 

I paused next to the foyer where there were considerably less people. In fact, only one student lingered next to the open window, and I leaned against the wall as I closed my eyes against the distinct ringing in my ears. Next time, I would wear earplugs when Minho forced me to stand at the speakers.

“You’re not going to pass out, right?”

I blinked several times as the room swam into focus. “I’ll probably make it.”

“There’s a bathroom upstairs,” the rough voice continued, and I finally addressed the hooded figure standing at the window. I realized that he was smoking, holding the bud of the cigarette outside so that the ashes collected somewhere on the porch. “I’m Changbin,” he smirked. 

“Oh,” I cleared my throat. “Do you mind if I share the window?”

He shrugged, tossing his hood back so that I could see the way his black hair fell flat against his head. “Sure.”

I carefully felt my way along the wall until the generous cold breeze was hitting my flushed skin. “Thank god,” I groaned, practically forcing my head outside.

“Drink too much?”

“A combination of that and the music.”

“I heard a rumor that the beer was definitely spiked,” he said, dark eyes looking me over. “You’re obviously new here.”

“I’m with my brother,” I offered cautiously in response to his sudden advances.

“Do I know him?”

“Lee Minho.”

Changbin’s eyes widened. “We’re in the same music composition lecture. I thought he mentioned you in class.”

“He invited me,” I continued, but I didn’t understand why I felt the need to justify myself to him.

“I bet he did,” Changbin nodded. “Why would he hide you from us?”

I shivered. “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

“Is that right?” he asked before cornering me against the wall with a hungry gaze. “You hear the song playing?”

I nodded. “It’s loud.”

Changbin chuckled. “I made it.”

I nodded again because that certainly explained the explicit lyrics. “It’s...interesting?”

“Yeah?” Changbin purred. “Do you like it?”

“I do,” I gasped, feeling one of his hands grab me around the waist.

His lips brushed against mine, soft and sensual, while he inhaled deeply. “Y/N, is this your first party?”

“No,” I whispered because it suddenly felt like we were the only two people left in the room.

“I just assumed,” he said. “From the way you’re reacting.”

“W-what?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you wanted to go someplace else with me,” Changin said.

I was completely baffled by his assumption, searching for the right words, but they never came. However, the distinct sound of someone clearing their throat forced us apart, and I was surprised to see Chan standing so close. “I guess you’ve met Minho’s little sister,” Chan said and I hated how immature the introduction sounded. 

“She made sure to tell me,” Changbin smirked. “I can’t believe we haven’t met before.”

“He’s looking for her,” Chan continued, and I was confused by the hostility in his tone. “You probably shouldn’t do anything.”

“Wasn’t gonna,” Changbin retorted, planting one of his hands next to my head. “She’s feeling sick. Tell Minho I can take her home.”

“He won’t like that.”

“Oh? Is anyone else sober?”

Chan was quiet for a moment, eyes darting between the two of us. “Wait here.”

“What a good host,” Changbin snarked, but Chan was already walking away and I was starting to feel the effects of my alcoholic consumption darken the edges of my vision.

My brother was nothing short of incoherent, swaying back against Chan as he tried to give me a stern look. “Y/N, I hope you didn’t drink too much.”

“Really?” I snorted. “Isn’t that hypocritical?”

Of course, my admonishment had no effect on Minho. “Chan said that you were feeling sick.”

“It’s just a headache,” I said, although my churning stomach seemed to suggest otherwise.

“I thought I could take Y/N home,” Changbin interrupted. “I guess she could use some fresher air.”

“Sure,” Minho nodded, eyes glassy. “I don’t mind.”

Minho was readily willing to entrust his sister into the care of someone she had just met, and that’s when I knew that he couldn’t be trusted to take me anywhere. “Is that what you want?” Chan asked.

I shrugged because it might be nice to finally escape the endless drumming of Chan’s intricate sound system. “I might be saving myself some trouble.”

“I need more cigarettes,” Changbin said. “I’m running low and I know there’s a store near Minho’s house.

I frowned, but figured that Minho had brought Changbin over to our house before during that brief phase at the start of his college semester when I saw a new face in the basement every week. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“As long as you behave,” Chan warned him quietly, but I never had the opportunity to question him before Changbin was forcing us both outside onto the main porch where the snow was starting to build along the sidewalks.

“This way,” Changbin said, resting one of his hands against my lower back as he guided us down the street.

Changbin’s car was a very old model and the paint was starting to peel from the doors. He helped me inside slowly, reaching for my seat-belt before I slapped his hands out of the way because I could manage to do that by myself. He chuckled at my glare. “Comfortable?”

I nodded in response and waited for him to turn on the ignition before I was savoring the accompanying blast of heat even though it smelled distinctly of ashes. “Minho’s little sister,” Changbin said, eyes focused on the road in front of him. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” I replied because the growing distance between us and Chan’s party music was actually nice. “I guess the music gave me a headache.”

“That’s how Chan likes it,” Changbin said. “He’s gotten at least a dozen noise complaints from this past month alone.”

“How many parties does he have!”

Changbin smirked. “He likes to keep his house full.”

“It might’ve been too much tonight,” I said, leaning my head against the cold window. “I’ve never seen so many people.”

“Exams,” Changbin said. “When college students feel stressed, they like to get shitfaced.”

“But you’re not drunk.”

“Who said that I was stressed?”

His tone was strangely flirtatious, especially when he looked at me. “You didn’t have to help me, you know?”

“I know, but it was my window we were sharing,” Changbin said. “You looked like you were seconds away from crashing.”

“I can take care of myself,” I replied, even though it was rather harsh to criticize someone who was currently neglecting the speed limit to take my home as quickly as possible. “When did you meet Minho?”

“A few weeks ago,” Changbin said. “We worked on a project together.”

“I guess you’ve already been to my house.”

“Yeah, but I sure as hell don’t remember seeing you.”

“I don’t really like to socialize with most of my brother’s friends.” 

“Well, that explains a lot,” Changbin said, briefly glancing at me. “Are you that type? The unattainable girl next door?”

“I just don’t like people,” I grumbled, but Changbin seemed to think it was funny, laughing at my expense while reaching down to turn on the radio despite the fact that music had caused my headache in the first place.

Of course, I didn’t want to be that type, so I endured his self-promotion, listening to his gravelly voice suspend the entire car into some kind of hip-hip haven. He talked his way through the introductions of every song on his mixtapes, bragging about his compositions and arrangements. “It’s all about authenticity,” he explained when we finally pulled into my driveway.

“Is that so?” I sighed, frowning when I realized Felix had forgotten to turn on the front porch light.

“I guess I should wait until you’re inside,” Changbin chuckled.

“Thanks,” I said, reaching out for the door handle.

“Woah! Baby, where are you going?” Changbin asked, and I quickly returned my hands to my lap. “Are you trying to get away from me?”

“No,” I shook my head, breathing heavily when he reached for my thigh.

“You probably don’t hear this a lot,” Changbin continued. “But you’re really sexy.”

I startled at his words. “Thank you?”

“I mean it, Y/N,” he continued, fingers inching along my thigh like it was free real estate. “Thank god you wanted to share my window.”

I shook my head rapidly when he turned off the ignition, navigating the waistband of his panties to drag his hand against my sensitive core. “What are you doing?” I whispered.

“I’m trying to make you feel good,” he said. “Do you want me to?”

I nodded this time, waiting with my fists balled against the leather seats while he penetrated the soft walls of my core, moving in and out slowly to help me adjust to his fingers. I tried to relax, dropping my shoulders and controlling the way I was panting in desperation for more of the addicting feeling he was creating in my lower abdomen. It all felt entirely scandalous, feeling the way his fingers dragged across my insides, curling against the most responsive parts and watching me with an intensity that I could barely tolerate. I was moaning for him, calling his name softly because he was starting to increase his movements, and I focused on the way his wrist reappeared from underneath my skirt before losing itself in a sea of denim fabric.

“It’s wet,” he remarked, and the sounds of his penetration were growing louder, intermingling with my rapid breaths and the dark tone of his voice. “I can feel it.”

I knew what he meant because my entire body was pulsing in time to the pace in which he played with me. It was like I was his personal experiment, testing how I reacted to certain touches, especially when he crooked his fingers and a moan would displace the temporary quiet. “Changbin,” I whined, reaching for his arm because everything was starting to feel overwhelming.

“I got you,” he said. “You’ve been so good for me, Y/N, I’m not gonna stop until you cum.”

I orgasmed at his filthy words, falling down from the place he sent me and into a deep headspace. He pulled his fingers back, holding them up so that I could clearly see the evidence of my release in the faint light from the street lamp outside. “You didn’t expect that,” Changbin said calmly, reaching for a tissue from the backseat while I tried to figure out what just happened. “I don’t really care who your brother is,” he continued, moving in close. “I think we should fuck next time.” 

“Changbin,” I said, “if Minho finds out-”

“Why are you always worried about him?”

“He’s my brother!”

“Oh? Well, in that case, since you want to be good for your older brother,” Changbin smirked. “I guess I’ll have to find a different way to see you again.”

The next morning, I took a shower because I could still feel traces of Changbin’s touches between my thighs. The water was hot, fogging up the mirrors and making it difficult to breathe. It was necessary because I could function better when I re-emerged with fresh clothes and a sudden hunger for those little chocolate muffins my mom bought at the store.

I walked downstairs, noticing Felix and Jisung both sitting at the counter while they talked over their breakfast. Felix noticed me first, watching as I grabbed a leftover pastry from the fridge before leaning back against the cabinets. “Did you have fun last night?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes, but then I realized that his question was innocent because he definitely didn’t know about Changbin. “It was nice.”

“What are you doing today?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I haven’t made plans.”

“You can hang out with me and Jisung today,” Felix suggested. “We’re just going for coffee.”

Jisung met my gaze from over the table and he quickly looked away as if he wasn’t expecting the contact. “Yeah,” I nodded. “I could use some coffee.”

It wasn’t often that I accompanied Felix and Jisung when they decided to actually leave the house and my brother’s massive collection of video games. Felix was never the problem, but I could only endure so much of Jisung’s flirtations before I inevitably made another pointless vow to try and ignore him. It was an impossible promise to keep since Felix was practically glued to his hip, and I can’t remember the last time Jisung actually spent the night at his own home.

However, coffee was nice and the taste was bile so it sat heavy on my tongue and provided a good distraction, even if that meant listening to my brother and Felix talk about the party. “I met Chan,” Jisung said. “He was really cool.”

Felix nodded, eyeing his coffee with obvious distaste. “Minho seems to like him.”

“He introduced me to his partner, Changbin,” Jisung continued and I fidgeted nervously at the mention of his name. “Apparently, they do a lot of work together.”

“I’ve heard their stuff,” Felix said, finally pushing away his coffee cup in exchange for his orange juice. “I think they’re really talented.”

“It’s like you’re meeting real professionals,” Jisung gushed and I rolled my eyes. “I let them listen to one of my demos,” Jisung chuckled. “I think they want to work together.”

“Really?” Felix gasped. “That’s amazing!”

“I guess they need another partner,” I remarked, shivering when I thought about my encounter with Changbin from the previous evening.

“You can always come with me to the studio tomorrow,” Jisung said. “If you want.”

The idea of being alone with Jisung wasn’t exactly high on my list of priorities. “I don’t know...”

“Changbin will be there too,” Jisung added. “Minho said he really thought you were cool at the party.”

“I bet he did,” I grumbled.

“Why are you inviting her instead of your best friend?” Felix pouted.

“You said you needed to work on a project,” Jisung reminded him. “Actually, you made me swear to keep away distractions!”

“Alright, fine,” Felix sighed. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean that I’m okay with it.”

Jisung ignored my brother’s sullen expression. “Y/N? Do you want to come?”

“I guess,” I said, and I had no idea what possessed me to agree with his request until it was too late.

The next morning, I met Jisung outside of the address he had sent to my phone with several rather inappropriate emojis. I made sure to scold him for the messages, but he was far too excited, ignoring my complaints when he started talking about the new project he was working on with Chan and Changbin. “Come on,” he said, holding open the door as I walked inside the tiny lobby of the simple two-story building. “We’re on the top floor,” Jisung smirked as if that was something to brag about considering the condition of the worn-down warehouse they were using as a studio.

However, I knew that he was excited, so I feigned a smile as he continued talking about the building’s intricate history while we walked up the staircase to pause outside of a studio room. “Is this it?” I asked.

He nodded, reaching for the door handle. “They should be inside.”

True to his word, Chan and Changbin were standing together in front of a large computer monitor, turning around when they heard me and Jisung enter the room together. “There you are,” Chan said, but his gaze was strangely focused on me.

“We have some stuff for you to hear,” Changbin said, stretching his arms above his head. “I need some coffee first.”

“There’s a gas station down the road,” Jisung said. “I’ll go with you?”

Changbin looked at me for a moment before agreeing to Jisung’s proposal. “We’ll have plenty of time to work when we get back.”

“You’re in for a surprise, Jisung,” Chan said. “Actually, while the two of you are gone, maybe Y/N could look at some of the tracks?”

“Really?” I asked, surprised that he would be so willing to share, but he was already dragging me down into the desk chair, pulling me closer to the monitor.

“You can take you time and browse,” he said, joining Jisung and Changbin at the door.

They started talking about something else, but I was too busy admiring the vast number of tracks listened in sequential order on Chan’s computer. Despite how I might feel about Changbin, it was impossible to deny that their work was impressive, spreading across years of effort. It felt like I was being allowed an intimate glimpse of the artists who were growing more popular everyday.

“Try to be back in twenty minutes,” Chan said, and I watched Jisung and Changbin leave together, whispering in low tones while Chan shut the door behind them. “Your music is really good,” I said, scrolling through the library of his songs. It only made him that much more appealing when I could see the evidence of his passion.

“Are we going to stop playing games, Y/N?”

I frowned at his question, turning around in the chair. “What do you mean?”

Chan smirked, and I realized that it wasn’t playful. “Do you have any idea how fucking gorgeous you are?” he asked.

“Chan...” I trailed off, frozen in place while he slowly leered in my direction, taking several, meaningful steps before he was bracing himself on either side of the desk behind me. 

“Changbin told me about what happened in the car.”

I swallowed hard. “W-what?”

“Is that all it takes? A couple of fingers to satisfy you?”

“Chan, I don’t understand,” I tried, gasping when he picked me up out of the chair, legs wrapping around his waist automatically before he sat me down on the desk.

“Do you want it again?” Chan asked, running his hands alongside my waist before crawling his finger across the bare skin of my thighs, disregarding the thin barrier of my skirt. I felt him press the palm of his hand against my wet heat, fingers testing the edges of my panties. “I can make you feel good.”

The sensation was too much, and I found myself nodding without really thinking about the consequences. “Please.”

His fingers were suddenly penetrating my delicate walls, sliding in and out at a vicious pace that left me aching for something more. “Tell me, Y/N,” Chan demanded, using his thumb to circle my throbbing clitoris. “How does it feel?”

“I want it, Chan,” I moaned, bracing my hands against his firm chest as he continued to pleasure me. Unlike Changbin, I could tell that Chan was determined to make me cum as soon as possible, twisting his hand and jamming his fingers like he was aiming to make me lose my mind. I practically fell against him crying, riding out the waves of my high, while he ignored my whimpers when everything was suddenly feeling overstimulated.

“Come here,” he said, pulling out his fingers before falling against his chair and patting his thighs.

My legs were shaking when Chan helped me onto his lap and I moaned when his fingers crooked against my walls again. “Do you want my cock?” he asked and I nodded viciously, sending strands of my hair flying in all directions. “What a good girl,” he snarled, ripping his fingers away and leaving me whining around the empty space he left behind.

“Chan,” I groaned, resting my head against his shoulder while I watched him make a show out of undoing the belt around his waist, unzipping his skinny jeans before shoving the material down his thighs. His erection strained the silky material of his boxer shorts, and I was practically salivating.

He reached down to rub himself through his shorts, outlining his cock in a way that made me realize that I wasn’t going to leave this studio without an obvious limp. “Y/N,” he said. “Take off your skirt for me.”

I whined, but obeyed him instantly, bracing one hand against his shoulder while the other practically ripped the fine material of the pretty skirt down my legs and into the studio floor. Chan’s eyes darkened, grabbing my waist between his hands to grind the front of my soaked panties against his erection. “Please,” I cried, wanting nothing more than to take matters into my own hands, but Chan’s grip was impossible to break.

“I’m going to fuck this little pussy,” Chan growled. “Can you last long enough for me to come inside?”

“Yes,” I whined, stuttering around a broken sob when he pulled his cock into the studio light, stretching my panties to the side before sinking deep inside my pulsing heat.

“That’s right,” Chan said, eyes closed. “You feel so good.”

“Chan,” I moaned, eye widening when the stretch felt impossible, like he was splitting me open even when common sense told me that it was just my body accommodating to his cock.

His hips slammed into mine, and I could barely reciprocate when he easily overpowered my attempts to meet him somewhere between our bodies. Instead, he took control and I let him have it because he knew exactly what to do before sending me over the edge again, ignoring my cries when he continued to chase his own high, grunting against my ear when he came inside.

“Y/N,” he sighed, keeping me in place despite the fact that his cock was completely flaccid. “Such a good girl.”

I was incoherent and incapable of offering a response in return. Instead, I buried my face into the side of his neck, smelling the scent of his cologne mixed with sweat and the sex polluting the air around us. His body was firm and warm, and I closed my eyes because everything felt like an incredibly lucid dream.

I was still exhausted from the previous afternoon, unable to walk much further than from my bedroom to the living room before the painful reminder of my unexpected session with Chan started to ache between my legs. There was a movie playing on the television, but I was only somewhat focused on the lazy plot and characters. Instead, I was thinking about my interactions with Chan and Changbin, wondering if the two men were playing some sort of mind game with me.

I only managed to tear myself away from those thoughts when I saw Minho as he walked down the stairs with Felix and Jisung talking about something to do with a sports competition. “There you are!” Felix exclaimed. “We were just talking about your visit to the studio with Jisung.”

“I heard you got a tour,” Minho said. “That was nice of them.”

“Yeah,” I agree because there was a lot more to talk about besides the tour of the dilapidated studio.

“I haven’t had a chance to visit,” Minho said. “But they said I could record my new demo there.”

“Another one!” Felix gasped, looking at my brother with wide eyes. “You’re a fucking genius, man.”

“Oh, I know,” Minho smirked. “Actually, I can show you before my first lecture,” Minho said, starting in the direction of his bedroom.

Jisung watched Felix trail behind Minho before he joined me on the couch. “What did you think of the studio?”

I swallowed hard. “It was fine.”

“I think it’s really nice,” Jisung said. “Chan said something making us a permanent trio! He even gave us a name and everything!”

“Oh?”

“3racha,” Jisung giggled. “It’s like a pun-”

“Yeah, I get it,” I sighed impatiently. “I’m trying to watch the movie.”

Jisung was undeterred by the sharp comment, and he buried himself further into the cushions before turning his attention back to the screen.

“Our first show is tomorrow, Y/N,” Jisung giggled, and I finally turned to look at him. “I hope you can watch?”

“Where?”

“It’s a club somewhere downtown. I can send you the address? I know that Chan and Changbin were both insisting that you come.”

“I’m sure they were,” I grumbled, but Jisung was more interested in talking about his contributions to the album. 

“It would mean a lot to me,” he managed after thoroughly explaining their newest concept. “You don’t even have to stay for the whole show.”

“I don’t know...”

“Minho and Felix are coming!” he quickly added, and I wondered if he knew that I would feel more comfortable with my brothers around.

“Okay,” I finally relented, groaning when he started jumping up and down on the couch like an overzealous puppy.

I rode to the club with Minho and Felix who were excitedly chattering about the impending concert while I looked out the window despondently. It felt like a huge risk to show up to the concert considering the recent events concerning my meetings with Chan and Changbin. However, I didn’t want my brothers to be suspicious, so I reluctantly followed them inside where we squeezed together around one of the tables in the middle of an enormous crowd.

The atmosphere was euphoric, draped in a haze of alcohol and the flashing neon lights decorating the stage. It was actually quite civil considering the fact that we were moments away from listening to loud music full of pounding bass and fast rapping. I was half-way convinced that the other guests had no idea what they were actually getting themselves into by coming here tonight.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” an annoucement blared overheard, “please welcome, 3racha!”

The audience started clapping while a familiar melody began softly playing, and the fans around me started to cheer for the three shadowy figures who had suddenly walked onto the stage. “Let’s go!” Chan shouted, beginning his verse of the song which I now recognized as one of the tracks they had played for me at the studio. They were all wearing black, matching the tone and vibe of their music, playing through each track with an infectious energy. However, I was still unnerved because I noticed that they all managed to look at me at some point, even though the crowd, and I was starting to feel hot all over my entire body.

“They’re really good,” Felix remarked, and I nodded in return even though I was finding the table much more interesting.

“Thank you, 3racha!” an overhead announcement said and the audience were rising to their feet in synchrony to offer the artists a round of applause for their stage.

“Jisung sounded amazing!” Felix said as if he couldn’t resist the opportunity to brag about his friend.

“Maybe we can meet them backstage,” Minho suggested, and I halfheartedly protested when my brothers forced me to accompany them.

Subsequently, Minho forced Felix and I to wait by the stage for his friends because he was convinced that I really didn’t have an important project to complete before tomorrow. “You never do anything last minute, Y/N,” he said, smiling when he spotted Chan’s messy hair from the middle of the crowd.

“Hey!” Chan greeted him, accepting Minho’s failed attempt at a cool handshake. Changbin and Jisung followed him, and I couldn’t help but notice how the youngest had started to stumble on his feet. 

“You guys did great,” Minho said, talking extensively about his favorite performance while a sudden bombardment of alcohol hit my senses.

I instantly recoiled, covering my nose when the smell grew stronger. “How much did you drink, Jisung?”

“Not much,” the younger boy slurred, and I noticed that his eyes were distant.

“I’ll grab us more drinks,” Changbin said, giving me a familiar dark look before disappearing into the surrounding crowd.

“He’ll be fine,” Felix said, tossing an arm around Jisung’s shoulder. “You deserve to celebrate tonight, man!”

I tugged on Minho’s sleeve to catch his attention, unwittingly drawing Chan’s gaze at the same time. “I think he’s drunk.”

Minho sighed, ready to launch into one of his world-famous lectures, when he was interrupted by the DJ onstage who confronted Chan. “Hey! We couldn’t find you after the show.”

Chan rolled his eyes. “I was out here the entire time.”

“Well, you need to pick up your CD backstage,” the DJ said. “The owners will throw it out tomorrow.”

“I’ll be right there,” Chan grumbled while glaring at the DJ.

“Now,” the man growled and Chan quietly excused himself with a brittle tone. Meanwhile, I had to help Felix with Jisung because his friend was starting to sway dangerously back and forth.

“He needs to go home,” I sighed, watching as Jisung leaned more of his weight against a much smaller Felix.

“I’d take him, but I already had two beers,” Minho said, looking at Felix expectantly.

“Me!” Felix whined. “But I want to stay.”

“He’s your friend,” I glowered.

“Alright,” Minho groaned. “Y/N, you haven’t had anything to drink and you’re way more responsible than Felix.”

It was easy to meet Minho’s stern gaze since this was the perfect opportunity to finally leave the club. “Fine, I’ll take Jisung home.”

“Then it’s settled,” he agreed, tossing me his spare set of car keys. “Take him to our place.”

“Okay,” I said, groaning when Felix helped Jisung wrap his arms around my shoulders and waist. The additional weight was burdensome, and I cursed Jisung under my breath as I helped him through the club to where the bouncer waited at the exit. “I’ll never let you forget this,” I hissed, waiting for the bouncer to open the door while I took one last look over my shoulder to check on my brothers. Instead, I found myself looking directly into Changbin’s dark eyes as he waited by the bar, a familiar smirk making him appear even more dangerous. I shivered in response before I slowly shuffled to the car with Jisung practically breathing down my neck.

When I finally managed to accompany Jisung inside my house, I unceremoniously deposited him on the couch, ignoring the way he groaned in complaint. “I’ll find you some medicine,” I said, searching through one of the side tables.

“It hurts,” Jisung whined, and I rolled my eyes after shoving a bottle of Aspirin in his direction.

“Remember that when you decide to be stupid again.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, dropping two pills into his hand before swallowing them eagerly.

I grimaced as I sat down next to him. “When did you start drinking?”

“Before the show,” Jisung said. “Changbin said it would help take the edge off.”

“Yeah? Do me a favor and don’t listen to him anymore,” I said, frowning when Jisung curled closer to my side. “What are you doing?”

“Tired,” he said, looking up at me with a smile. “You look beautiful.”

I scoffed, trying to push him away, but alcohol apparently made him bolder because he was suddenly twisting one leg around my hip to hold himself in place. “Jisung, you need to stop,” I said, gasping when he brought his lips against mine, kissing me with skill and a surprising amount of tongue. “We can’t do this!”

“Please,” Jisung whined, grinding his hips against my legs. “Just one night, Y/N?”

“Your drunk,” I said, which was only one of a dozen problems with the scenarios currently playing out right in front of my very eyes.

“I’m sober,” Jisung promised, frantically chasing my lips with eager kisses.

It was nothing short of desire, the way he was looking at me, while I watched our clothes end up in a pile around the couch as Jisung fumbled with the condom before I helped him roll it onto his erection. He groaned at the contact, and I moved my hand up and down his cock a few more times before directing him between my legs. Jisung slid inside with a messy exhale, and his arms trembled as they supported his body looming over mine with his delicate frame.

It was a pleasant contradiction because Chan’s thrusts had been nothing short of confident while Jisung’s inexperience showed in the frantic way his hips stuttered against mine. He tried to move faster, losing his previous rhythm, and his cock fell all the way out, erection sliding between my thighs instead. He whined pathetically, rutting against my legs for several moments before he re-adjusted himself deep inside. “Y/N,” he moaned.

“It’s okay,” I told him, petting my fingers along the crown of his head. “You’re doing so good.”

“I like you so much,” Jisung replied earnestly and my heart ached at his words.

He looked unbelievably sinful, eclipsing my body against his as I felt the fabric of the couch against my skin. The friction was delicious, and I focused on the way his cock felt, thrusts growing more and more assured as he finally found a way to please us both, thumb brushing across my clitoris. He was still kissing me, tongue moving across mine deliberately, and I was breathing harshly as I fought to control the rising heat building in my abdomen. It was an intense build-up to an orgasm that I could’ve never anticipated since Jisung was always Felix’s friend who I usually avoided. The same Jisung whose endless flirtations usually annoyed me, but something had changed the moment I looked into his eyes and saw the lust and desire coming together to create an intoxicating mixture.

It was suddenly impossible to ignore the way he made me feel and I felt him come deep inside with a stuttered moan. His hips moved harshly against mine, and I chased my release with a sensual grind of my hips until I was throwing my head back with a cry, groaning when his lips found the sensitive skin of my neck. “Jisung,” I murmured, watching him through a haze of darkness as he rolled over next to me with a moan.

I studied the way Jisung’s hair fanned out across the cushions, making him look angelic beneath the influence of the moon’s light breaking the barrier of the  curtains. It made me feel guilty, realizing that I had finally returned Jisung’s feelings only after my tumultuous affairs with Changbin and Chan. In fact, I was nothing more than the very girls I often mocked when they threw themselves at the most popular boys in school. I swallowed hard at the realization. “What have I done?”

[farfromharry]

always | harry holland full series

summary: harry helps your through one of the most challenging times in your life and you couldn’t be more grateful. only for this whole experience to make you realise you were in love with him, but now you had more than just yourself to think about.

word count - 28k

(read individual chapters!)

“I have to go home Harry.” you giggled, trying to pull him towards the door of the house party you were in. He sighed, resting his head on top of yours, swaying you both slowly to the loud, booming music playing in the background. your phone buzzed again in your hand, the vibration alerting you of another text from Nate, and another one that you were going to blatantly ignore.

“ ‘m gonna miss you.” he drunkenly slurred, a giggled bubbling in your throat. you rolled your eyes, practically holding him up.

“Come on, I'm literally taking you home silly.” you had decided on being the designated driver for the night hours ago, right after seeing how harry downed his drink when you got here. you hadn’t particularly felt great all week but harry was so excited about this party, more so that it was for his brothers amazing performance in Spiderman: far from home, and you couldn’t possibly turn down his offer, wanting to support Tom at the same time.

“Do you need some help?” you looked up and made eye contact with Harrison.

“Yes please.” you whined.

With the help of a slightly tipsy Harrison you managed to get Harry into your car, ignoring the now, almost consistent and highly irritating, buzz of your phone. Harry slumped into the passenger seat when you let go of him, laying his head on the window and quickly passing out.

“what am i going to do with you?” you laughed to yourself, looking at your best friend drool on himself like a baby, you clipped his seatbelt into place and closed the door, getting in the driver’s side with a heavy sigh. driving to the large house that the group of lads lived in was a routine for you at this point, you were there with them more often than you were at your own home. This time around though, the short drive was filled with random muttered sentences falling from Harry's mouth every so often, mumbled under his breath in his heavy sleep.

After pulling up outside the house you mentally debated what the best way to get Harry from the car to his bed would be considering he wasn’t going to help. Eventually settling on just having to guide him there with a struggle.

“okay, come on mister, let’s get you to bed.” you hoisted him up out of the car, stumbling slightly as you did so, draping his arm around your shoulder as you led him up to his front door. you unlocked it with your spare key, with much difficulty, and hauled him inside.

“who knew you were this heavy?” you asked rhetorically, closing the door behind you with your foot.

“what are you doing?” you looked up and spotted Sam sitting with his girlfriend in the living room, you smiled sheepishly, ready to apologise for the interruption.

“he’s really drunk, and also really heavy, please help me.” you pouted, your knees basically buckling under Harry’s weight. Sam took pity seeing the drunken Harry cling to you, practically putting all his weight on you, something he knew from experience wasn’t easy to deal with.

Sam wrapped his twin's arm around his shoulder, shooting a quick apology to Elysia, who brushed it off with an amused laugh. 

Sam almost easily helped Harry upstairs, saving you the task of changing him into comfier clothes by doing it himself. leaving you to laugh in the corner at how difficult Harry was making it for his brother. when he was finally done he let out an exhausted sigh, throwing his dirty clothes in the corner of the room.

“thank you for your help.” Sam nodded, leaving you with a quiet ‘good luck.’ you looked at Harry with a sigh, pulling the covers of his bed over him and brushing your hand over his hair.

“y/n?” he slurred, blinking his eyes open just a little.

“hi, what’s up?” he smiled sleepily at you.

“thank you.” you giggled, looking at his half closed pretty eyes.

“of course.” you stroked his hair for a little bit longer than probably needed, making sure he was okay and didn’t need to be sick at all. He watched you the whole time with a lazy smile, nuzzling his head further into your loving touch.

“get some sleep, your heads gonna hurt in the morning.” before you left you made sure to get some painkillers and a glass of water. you placed them on his bedside table, kissing his head, making sure he was okay and asleep before you finally left.

The drive back to your flat was even quieter than the drive to Harry's home, no more drunken jokes from the passenger seat that made you laugh.

Even after pulling up outside your home you still waited in your car, not yet prepared to face your, no doubt, angry boyfriend inside.

After around 10 minutes of putting it off, you took a deep breath, climbing out of your car and heading into your building, greeting the receptionist on your way in. The lift ride up was long and filled with different scenarios of how this night could end, all of them overthought and turning out negatively. You hadn’t even started unlocking the door when it swung open, startling you.

“where the fuck have you been?” Nate yelled before you even stepped through the front door. you flushed in embarrassment at the idea of your neighbours hearing or seeing, shoving past him to make it inside.

“I told you, I was at Tom's party.” he scoffed, throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

“that was hours ago y/n!” you flinched at the loudness of his tone, wishing he would quieten down a bit. “where were you when i started texting you, huh?” 

“I was making sure my best friend got home safe, because he was drunk out of his mind.” he rolled his eyes.

“since when was he your responsibility?” 

“he’s always been my responsibility you arse, literally since we were 10.” you argued. you could almost feel the anger radiating from him, he was seething. You wanted nothing more than to simply just sleep this night away now.

“you know, he acts more like your boyfriend than me, and i am your boyfriend.” you laughed, glaring at him.

“Well that sounds like a you problem, Harry's just being a good friend, maybe you should try and be a better boyfriend once in a while.” he slammed his hands down on the kitchen counter, your eyes snapping to his face in fear.

“he clearly wants to fuck you.” this time it was your turn to scoff.

“no he doesn’t, do you not think he would’ve made a move by now, it’s been 11 years.” you finally snapped and let yourself yell. The argument seemed to go on for hours, back and forth of you defending Harry and him trying to make him sound like a bad person. 

you didn’t even remember how it started by the time it ended, finally having enough of the shit he was saying. the same shit he’d been putting you through since he first met Harry.

“get out of my fucking house.” he stared at you dumbfounded, watching as you pointed to the door.

“what?” you rolled your eyes, moving to your front door and opening it.

“we’re done, get out.” Nate grabbed his jacket forcefully and stomped his way to the door.

“at least you can finally fuck him now.” you knew he was talking about Harry, he always hated how close you both were.

“you’re pathetic Nate.” he left without another word, leaving you to slam the door and think about everything that had just happened. A night that had gone really well, just gone down the drain.

There was a quiet, soft knock on your front door, a groan slipping past your lips as you thought it might’ve been Nate. you pulled it open rather forcefully, only to be met with your neighbours little boy. the 7 year old smiled at you sheepishly.

“hi Theo, what’s up?” you bent down to his height, looking into his brown eyes with confusion.

“me and my mum heard shouting, we just wanted to make sure you were okay.” your heart melted, looking up and making eye contact with his mum, standing in the doorway across the hall. you mouthed a ‘thank you’ and she nodded.

“Was it you and harry?” he asked shyly.

“no, it wasn’t Harry, don’t worry he’ll still come over.” Theo had told you once while you were babysitting him that he loved Harry, the male always told him a joke that’d make his stomach hurt with laughter.

“But I'm okay, thank you Theo.” you ruffled his hair, sending him back to his mum with a wave.

you closed your door and leaned back against it, finally letting some tears fall as you began processing things.

you spent most of the night crying, blaming yourself for everything that happened, even if you knew that wasn’t the case at all.

The next morning, well late morning, there was a knock on your door. you dragged yourself out of bed and didn’t even check before opening, mentally regretting it when you spotted the curly haired male standing in your doorway. you didn’t want him to see you in this state, even if he’d seen you at your worst many times before.

“hey, i just- what’s wrong?” he noticed the tear stains on your cheeks, his heart aching at the thought of you being in any kind of pain.

you walked forwards without a word and buried yourself in his chest, arms around his waist. He stroked your hair, holding you equally as tight as you were holding him.

your stomach growled at you, but not in a hungry way, your eyes widening. you let go of Harry, much to his confusion, and quickly rushed to the bathroom, throwing up everything you’d eaten the night before. the burning pain in your throat forced tears to your eyes, your knees aching from the firm tiled floor.

Harry was there in an instant, holding your hair back so nothing got in the way. His large hand rubbed your back gently, coaxing you through it until you stopped after your stomach was more or less empty. you sat back on your knees once you were done, arms still clutching the bowl in case you felt the nauseating feeling again.

“So, I take it you still don’t feel well?” you shook your head, ignoring the feeling in your gut that told you it was more than a bug.

you flushed the toilet, quickly brushing your teeth and washing your hands, having Harry stare at you through the mirror the whole time. Once you were done you sat back beside him on the floor, shoulders touching to give you any form of comfort.

“why were you crying?” you looked at him from your place on the bathroom floor and let a tear slip from your eye. your eyes stinging from how many tears you’d shed in such a short span of time.

“we broke up.” Harry frowned, pushing away the happy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“what happened?” you let out a loud sob, harry ignoring the pounding headache he had from his hangover to tend to you.

“awe love, it’s okay, always thought he was an arsehole.” you stifled a laugh, wiping your cheeks and looking at him.

“he was just, he didn’t like you, and you’re so important to me.” Harry smiled sympathetically.

“I'm sorry, i didn’t mean to-“ you shushed him, shaking your head.

“i’d rather have you in my life than him.” a few moments of silence passed by as Harry thought deeply about what you said.

“can we cuddle?” you asked quietly, almost scared to ask, snapping him out of his daze. Harry nodded, helping you up off the floor and guiding you to your room.

the two of you got under the unmade, crisp white covers on your bed, your head resting on his chest and your arms around his waist. you were silent for a while, just happy to be laying there in his warmth with harry’s fingers running through your hair. at some point you ended up falling asleep, a smile breaking out on Harry's face. He knew you probably didn’t get much sleep last night from the bags under your eyes, so he was glad he could provide you with enough comfort to do that for you.

you woke up to Harry shifting, sitting up in your bed. you groaned, trying to fall back to sleep, finding it almost impossible now Harry’s body heat was gone.

“where are you going?” you grumbled.

“i have to go, i’m sorry.” you pouted, harry placing a kiss to your head as he slipped his shoes on.

“are you sure you’re gonna be okay without me?” you nodded, flashing him a smile.

“if you need me, at any point just call me, any time okay?” you nodded again. you quickly pulled him into a hug, thanking him for helping you.

“i’ll see you soon.”

“bye Harry.” you frowned as you watched him leave, hearing your front door close a few seconds later. you closed your eyes again, willing yourself to go to sleep, prepared to sleep the rest of the day away as a distraction. 

after being unable to fall asleep you groaned loudly, angrily tossing one of your pillows across your room, not caring what you knocked over.

“what a fucking day.” 

“i missed you so much, where have you been all week, are you okay?” he rambled. it’d been a week since your breakup with Nate, and a week since you had broken down to Harry on your bathroom floor. You had gone slightly MIA but Harry has given you your space like he knew you needed.

So when you texted him, asking him to come over out of nowhere, he happily complied, walking into your flat with a loud ‘honey, i’m home,’ which you greatly appreciated.

you practically threw yourself in his arms when you saw him, leading you to where you were currently.

Harry clinged to you, his arms around your neck and his cheek mushed against yours. This is how he was trying to convince you to come to the pub with him and his friends, his methods not seeming to work on you at all, much to his dismay, and yours because he didn’t tell you he already had plans.

“are you sure you don’t want to come?” you nodded your head, turning around to face him with a small smile. you hugged his waist tightly, hiding your face in his chest.

“we can wait for you to get ready.” his eyes were pleading with you, just wanting to spend time with his favourite girl, but you knew he’d understand.

“I still don’t feel good, ‘m sorry.” he nodded, placing a friendly kiss to your forehead.

“s’okay, i understand.” 

“maybe another time.” he nodded.

“Am I okay to come here after?” you nodded, flashing him a smile. He thanked you, saying one last goodbye before leaving your flat to go and meet his friends. you sighed loudly when he was out of the door, grabbing your phone off the sofa and pulling up one of your contacts that you knew you could trust with your life.

“hello?” she asked.

“hi um, do you think you could come over, i really need you right now.” you received an ‘of course’ and a promise of her being no longer than 10 minutes. In that short amount of time you did your best to tidy up your living room as best as you could, giving up halfway after realising she wouldn’t care after you told her what was wrong.

a knock on your door startled you, even though you were expecting it, opening it to see Nikki standing there concerned.

“what’s happened hun?” you collapsed into her arms with a cry, her hands coming up to stroke your hair as she tried to calm you down.

Nikki had been like a mum to you ever since you met Harry many years ago. always helping you with things and secretly rooting for you and Harry to get together; not that she’d tell you both that though.

Nikki instructed you to breathe deeply, the flow of your tears slowly coming to a halt.

“what’s wrong?” you took a deep breath, looking into her eyes as more tears built up.

“i think i’m pregnant.” even if Nikki was shocked, she tried to hide it for your sake, knowing being calm in this situation would be more comforting.

“you stay here darling, i’ll go buy some tests and we’ll figure this out together.” you thanked her, offering some money that she straight up refused before she left. 

Being alone meant you were thinking deeply about your current situation, absolutely scared to death. you were only 21, recently single and had no idea how you mother a child. it’s safe to say you were panicking massively.

thankfully Nikki was back in no time, handing you a bag and tightly clasping your hands in hers.

“so just, go into the bathroom, take a few of these and i’ll wait with you for the results, okay?” you nodded slowly, trying to process all the information at once. you did as she said, taking a few of the tests and setting them on your bathroom counter, letting her in afterwards to sit with you.

you sat on the edge of your bathtub, nikki’s arm around you while your head rested on her shoulder.

“there’s lots of options if you are pregnant, we can sort this sweetheart.” you nodded, tearing up again.

“i’m so scared.” she placed a kiss on your head, just like Harry had done earlier, stroking your arm to comfort you.

“i know, but it’s all going to be okay.” Those 2 minutes were the scariest minutes of your life. they seemed to last an eternity. when the timer on your phone finally went off you took a deep breath, pushing yourself up and moving over to the counter.

“you got this.” you encouraged yourself. you looked at the test, seeing the two pink lines that made you let out a sob. Nikki came up behind you and pulled you into her arms, glancing at the tests to see what you were crying at, even though she could’ve taken a guess for herself.

she stayed to comfort you for a while, promising she’d leave before Harry arrived so you could tell

him in private. She got you a hot drink and a warm blanket, helping you relax on the sofa, wiping any remnants of any tears away.

After Nikki left, you couldn’t force yourself to even get up from the couch, not even to go to the bathroom or put your mug down, sitting and just thinking about everything. 

your door unlocking caught your attention, Harry entering with a smile, walking in a near straight line, which meant he was mostly sober.

“hey.” you hummed in response, watching as he made himself at home, collapsing on the couch next to you. 

“how was your night?” he asked, unknowingly. you thought about how to answer, knowing this wasn’t the right way to tell him the news. you’d get there soon enough.

“strange, how was yours?” Harry’s eyes lit up as he threw his arm around you. For the next half an hour he ranted and laughed about the multiple things that had happened with his friends on this ‘crazy’ night out. He reiterated some of the jokes, managing to make you quietly laugh at times, but you nodded along anyway, only partly listening.

“Harry.” he didn’t even notice you had mumbled his name.

“it was hilarious, i wish you’d have come, you wo-“ 

“i’m pregnant.” the words died off on his tongue. his eyes widened and he looked at you in a mix of confusion and fear.

“what?” he asked, hoping he’d heard you wrong.

“i’m pregnant.” you didn’t even try to hold back this wave of tears, Harry taking the empty mug from you and placing it on the table before letting you bury your face in his hoodie, letting all of your emotions out. He wrapped his arms around you, stroking your back as your heart wrenching sobs filled his ears.

“how?” he asked.

“i-i don’t know, we always used protection.” he grimaced, hating picturing the idea of you having sex with Nate. however he pushed that to the back of his mind to focus on you in the moment.

“I need to tell him, don’t i?” he shook his head.

“no, if you think it’s best he doesn’t know, then don’t feel like you have to say anything.” he brushed some loose hair behind your ears, wiping your tears with his thumb.

“i know you probably don’t want to, especially not with the way things ended but-“

“he has a right to know.” as much as it pained him, he nodded. you picked up your phone from the coffee table, pulling up the contact you thought you’d never have to dial again.

“should i call him?”

“It's whatever you think is best, I'll give you some privacy.” you thanked him, although you weren’t sure you even wanted him to leave.

“hey.” Harry couldn’t help but feel protective over you after what had happened with Nate, not even a week and a half ago. so even though he knew he probably shouldn’t have, he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, listening just to make sure you were okay.

When Harry re-entered the room a while later, he noticed you sitting in the same position you were in when he left.

“what happened?” you looked up at him and sighed.

“said he’s not ready to be a dad, blamed it all on me pretty much.” Harry scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“do i need to beat the shit out of him, cause I will.” you laughed, shaking your head. 

“you couldn’t hurt a fly.” he gasped in offense.

“that is not true.” he let you lay your head on his shoulder, throwing some of the fluffy blanket over his lap so the two of you could cuddle together. 

“I think you’d be a great mum, you know.” he said, out of nowhere. 

“really?” you asked insecurely, receiving a confirming nod. you smiled and nuzzled your cheek deeper into his chest, fighting off sleep so you could finish your conversation.

“how come?” his fingers in your hair paused their movements, a whine of protest coming from you.

“I've seen how you are with Theo, how protective you get over Paddy, it comes naturally to you.” 

“that really means a lot, thank you Harry.” your eyes had teared up at some point in the conversation, your heart warming knowing your favourite person thought you’d succeed in this.

“always.”

For the next few days, Harry had been spending time at his family home, wanting to bond with his twin for a little bit after not seeing him for a while. you didn’t mind in the slightest, except you were starting to get lonely, missing your curly headed friend, more than you’d be willing to admit to his face.

So when you received a text Friday night telling you Sam was going out, you instantly took that as an invitation to come over. Although you probably shouldn’t have been so quick to assume, you just missed his freckled face.

So that’s where you ended up, knocking on Harry’s door after 3 or 4 days of not seeing him, as well as the week after your breakup too, knocking on his door.

���i feel like all we’ve said to each other these past few days is i miss you.” he rambled as he opened the door. you thought about it before nodding your head.

“you’re right, but I did miss you though.” you confirmed.

“missed you too.” he kissed your head, letting you follow him to the kitchen where he already had your food for the night set out.

“got you your favourite.”

“you’re an angel, sir.” you sat down across from him.

“with the way you’re eating, you look like the pregnant one.” you joked, taking note of his cramped plate. Harry ended up cracking another joke on top of yours that had you both bursting into laughter.

After the laughter died down there was an uncomfortable silence lingering in the air, one that neither you or Harry were used to when it came to each other. Of course you didn’t want to say anything, worried it was all in your head and you’d offend the male if you said anything.

However, you didn’t have time to ponder that thought for long, Harry practically reading your mind for you.

“this is weird right?” he asked. you nodded.

“why does this feel so awkward?” you asked, Harry's head snapping up and a blush coating his cheeks.

“i-i don’t know how to act around you now you’re pregnant.” he admitted.

“seriously?” you asked with a laugh. Harry’s embarrassment getting worse.

“I'm still me, Harry, just can’t drink alcohol anymore.” Harry took a deep breath and nodded, rising from his chair and heading to his fridge.

“Guess I'll have to drink for both of us then.” he winked and you rolled your eyes, watching him pop open a beer and instantly taking a gulp.

“you’re so mean.”

“What did i do?” he teased, a smirk on his lips.

“rubbing it in that i can’t drink.” you pouted, Harry laughing when glancing at your sad eyes.

“I mean, you came to see me, can’t really complain now.” you rolled your eyes.

“i’m actually only here for paddy.” Harry gasped, feigning offense.

“you don’t mean that.” you heard the front door open, Nikki and Paddy’s voices echoing through the hallway. Paddy practically ran to you when he saw you, wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

“oh, but i do.” 

After Paddy had left the kitchen, claiming he was going to play some game with his friends, Nikki made her way over to you, surveying the mess Harry had made while eating and scoffing at her son.

“how have you made such a mess Harry?” he looked at his mum sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, being let off with an eye roll.

“and how’s the mother to be?” you smiled at Nikki, accepting her side hug.

“hungry.” you whined, eyeing part of Harry’s food that you’d been dying to try.

“you’ve got enough food to feed four of you Harry, you’re never gonna eat all that, let her have some.” she hit him up the side of the head, making you giggle as he looked almost offended at his mum’s betrayal. He glared at you playfully, ignoring your innocent smile as you stole some of his food off his plate.

“thank you Harry.” you teased. He mimicked you, a snort leaving your mouth that then made Harry laugh loudly. the two of you ate with minimal conversation, both of you seeming almost equally as hungry, despite only one of you being pregnant, which you definitely kept teasing your best friend about.

“d’you wanna watch a film?” you shook your head.

“I should be getting home, I have work tomorrow.” Harry pouted, stating that he just wasn’t going to let you leave him.

“i have to go, ‘m sorry.” you kissed his cheek, grabbing your jacket off of the back of your chair.

“just promise we can hang out again soon.”

“we will.”

“I mean really soon miss.” you nodded.

“of course.” you slipped on your shoes and placed your hand over your belly, out of a new habit you’d developed rather quickly. Harry noticed, smiling at you as you already began proving his point of how good of a mum you’d be.

“thank you for tonight, i really appreciated the distraction.” you said, hugging his waist tightly.

“it’s my pleasure, but at least let me drive you home.” you shook your head, denying his offer.

“I'm fine Harry, I'm pregnant, not dead.” he rolled his eyes.

“I just worry about you.” he whined.

“i know, but i’m a big girl.” 

“whatever.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, finally agreeing to let you go. 

“goodbye harry, i love you.” you sang. He shook his head in amusement.

“i love you too, and i’ll see you soon.” you waved before heading to your car, a content feeling in your stomach as you thought about tonight’s events.

“the things you do to me Harry Holland.” 

“you ready to go?” he asked. You nodded, grabbing your jacket and slipping it on before heading out to his car.

“Are you nervous?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road for a quick second to glance at you. you shook your head.

“ ‘m really excited, I just want to see them.” he smiled, loving to see your excitement. The rest of the journey to the doctors was rather silent, except for the quiet hum of the radio in the background and Harry’s occasional humming to the songs.

“and we’re here.” you practically squealed, startling Harry. He was unsure if he’d ever seen you this excited for something, ever. especially at an early time like 10am; early for you at least.

“come on, hurry up.” Harry huffed and locked his car, following behind you as you almost ran inside the building.

Harry had to calm you down while you sat in the doctor's room on the small, plush bed, your leg was bouncing in anticipation and your smile was wide as you tried to suppress it.

“i’m so excited.” you announced, Harry grinning and taking your hand in his.

“me too, can’t wait to see your little munchkin.” your heart grew, hearing Harry say that practically made you realise this was real, you were going to have a mini you.

The doctor entered, introducing herself and explaining how this all works. She asked you to lift up your shirt and you followed her instruction, holding your hand out to Harry afterwards.

“this might be cold.” you giggled at the cold sensation of the gel on your stomach. She started to move the device around your stomach, searching for the heartbeat. you bit your bottom lip in anticipation, squeezing Harry’s hand.

“and there they are, that little plum there is them.” you melted, tears welling in your eyes as you listened to their heartbeat.

you looked over at Harry who was sitting in shock, completely amazed that that little one was growing inside of you.

“that’s incredible.” you nodded, watching Harry’s face in awe, studying his grin and sparkling eyes. The appointment was quickly over after that, taking your sonogram picture and scheduling another appointment for a few weeks in advance.

“i still can’t believe it's real.” Harry nodded, his gaze still scanning over your ultrasound, gently running his thumb over it with a smile.

“i’m so proud of you, you know.” you blushed, his arm slinging over your shoulder.

“really?” he nodded.

“you’re going to be an amazing, beautiful, incredible mum and i can’t wait to see your little bub.” you awed, thanking him with a warm feeling in your stomach.

“thank you.” 

After arriving home, you and Harry made breakfast/lunch that you didn’t have before you left and watched a film to pass time.

Later that day, you had to start getting ready for the meal with the Hollands, + Harrison of course.

you showered, letting Harry take one too before spending an eternity trying to pick out a dress to wear. Harry would give his occasional input, a quick yes or no every so often, neither of which were very helpful.

“this one?” you held up a pretty baby blue dress that’d make you look like the depiction of an angel. the dress would cup your small bump perfectly, flowing out towards the bottom.

“i think it’s perfect.”

“really?” you asked, turning to look at him over your shoulder.

“definitely.” you decided to trust your best friend, moving into the bathroom to slip the dress on. you took a quick look at yourself in the mirror, unsure if this felt right to you. When you stepped out back into your room Harry made it very clear that it was perfect.

“you look amazing.” you blushed, thanking him and moving to stand in your mirror. Harry flashed you a silly grin as you looked over the dress a few times, looking at different angles to try and see if your opinion would change.

“are you sure i look okay?” Harry looked over your dress one more time, the silly grin still painted on his face.

“you look gorgeous, and your little belly looks adorable.” you rolled your eyes, turning to the side to look at your swollen tummy. it was barely there, being so early on in your pregnancy, but still noticeable in the tight bit of the dress you’d chosen.

“come on, let’s go before you change, again.” He took your hand, lacing your fingers together and practically dragging you out to his car, timed almost perfectly so that you’d arrive on time for the dinner with his family.

Harry huffed as your leg continued to bounce on the floor of the car, placing his hand on your knee to steady it. you looked at him and from that look alone he could tell you were overthinking the entire night already.

“are you worried?” you hesitantly nodded.

“why are you so worried?” he laughed. Once the car was stable in the car park of the restaurant, he pulled you into his side over the console in his car. “you see my family all the time.” 

“I know but, only your mum actually knows I'm pregnant, they haven’t seen the bump yet.” you we’re definitely still trying to adjust to your belly, however you practically always had a hand on it. Harry frowned, cupping your cheek so you’d look at him.

“do you think they’re going to judge you?” he asked quietly. you sighed.

“i don’t know, but what if they think i’m stupid for going through with this.” he shook his head.

“they would never.” he reached over and laced your fingers together, gently squeezing your hand in reassurance.

“what if this dress was a mistake, it only highlights it and-“ he shook his head again.

“you look beautiful, heck you're practically glowing y/n.” your heart melted, admiring the man sitting in the driver’s seat.

“i think they love you more than me at times.” you laughed, looking at him with a smile. “so you have nothing to worry about.”

“thank you, i really hope so.” Harry, being the gentleman he is, got out of his side of the car, coming over and opening your door for you.

“what an angel.”

“what can i say?” he shrugged with a laugh. the two of you walked into the restaurant and searched for the other hollands. Harry pointed them out and placed his hand on your lower back, gently guiding you over to the table.

“y/n, it’s so lovely to see you.” you hugged Nikki tightly.

“look at you.” she admired your bump like a proud mother, even though that’s basically what she was anyway.

“woah y/n, since when have you-“ Sam motioned to your belly, a giggle leaving your lips.

“almost 3 months, i actually went for a scan this morning.” his eyes widened. 

“Do you have the picture?” he asked, his eyes turning into puppy dog eyes. you nodded, pulling out your phone to show Sam the picture you’d taken of your sonogram, the one you’d sent to your parents as a way of announcing you were pregnant.

“have i really not noticed?” 

“I’ve barely started showing you idiot.” you laughed, letting him pull you into a hug. you hugged paddy next, the boy cracking a few jokes about how he was taller than you now and of course a congratulations on the baby. 

Harry pulled a chair out for you, thanking him before you sat down next to Sam, Harry on the other side.

“where’s everyone else?” Harry asked, looking at the empty seats on the end of the table.

“they’re on their way.” he nodded, the table breaking out into light conversation. 

Not too much later you saw Paddy’s head perk up, spotting his brother and his brother’s best friend entering the restaurant. you found it adorable how excited he got to see his brother, even after only a few days of not seeing him.

“the party has arrived.” Tom announced, a laugh coming from you and Sam. Harrison was first to practically bear hug you after you stood up, noticing your belly with furrowed eyebrows.

“woah-“

“i know.” you smiled. He offered you congratulations, Tom giving you the same shocked look when he hugged you.

“no, you aren’t allowed to grow up.” he whined. Tom had been like your older brother since you’d met Harry, always ridiculously overprotective of you, even if you could sort the situation out yourself.

“don’t worry, you can be the favourite uncle.” you whispered. Tom grinned happily.

“I would've been anyway, be realistic.” you laughed, nodding your head.

“seriously though, congrats y/n.” you smiled.

“thank you.” he gave you another quick hug before pulling Paddy into a bro hug.

The dinner went by better than you thought it would. no one mentioned your pregnancy, which you were very happy about, and overall you had fun.

“you okay?” Harry asked as you were leaving the restaurant.

“ ‘m tired.” you mumbled, resting your head on his arm.

“want me to take you home?” you nodded. He led you to his car, helping you into the passenger seat. you smiled, his actions reminding you of him on the night of Tom’s party.

Upon arriving at your flat you were almost passed out, meaning Harry would have to carry you upstairs and to your bed.

Much to your surprise he did so without complaint or struggle, hoisting you into his arms, bridal style. Your arms wrapped around his neck, keeping you secure in his hold, the fear that he’d drop you lingering in the back of your mind.

“please don’t drop me.” you murmured, Harry picking it up and laughing.

“I won't, I promise.” he always thought you were adorable when you were half asleep. You lost the ability to filter what you were saying, making the randomest of comments that always made him let out a giggle.

“and you’re home.” you cheered sleepily, making Harry smile as he carried you to your bedroom. He gently laid you down on your bed, turning around to grab some pyjamas from your dresser.

“can you change or do you need my help?” you shook your head, confusing Harry.

“too tired.” he sighed, asking if it was okay for him to take your dress off, you complied, letting him pull the fabric over your head exposing your underwear to him.

even though it was nothing he hadn’t seen before, being friends for so long, he still blushed, trying to slip the shirt on over your head.

you protested, moving your hands to the clasp on your bra as you tried to blindly remove it.

“w-what are you doing?” Harry’s eyes widened.

“can’t sleep with it on.” he gulped, nodding hesitantly as you peeled the fabric off of your body, exposing your bare chest to him. Harry did his best to avert his eyes, his face blushing a deep shade of red as he slipped his old shirt over your body.

“there you go.”

“thank you.” you mumbled, climbing under the covers of your bed and quickly getting comfy. It didn’t take you long at all to begin drifting in and out of a light sleep, Harry checking you were okay before he left for the night.

“goodnight y/n.” you hummed, pushing your face into your pillow, too far gone to even attempt a response, Harry chuckled, turning off your bedroom light and leaving your apartment.

Harry was back in his home in no longer than half an hour, taking a seat in the living room after grabbing a drink from the fridge, with both Tom and Harrison’s eyes on him in an instant.

“what?” he asked, confused.

“where have you been?” 

“i took y/n home?” he said slowly, unsure what they were getting at.

“and how’s it going between you two?” Harrison hinted. Harry rolled his eyes, flipping them off and taking a swig of his beer.

“come on, Harry you’ve been in love with her since you were 14, just tell her already.” Tom ranted.

“yeah, you’re both single, why not?” Harrison added.

“Now is definitely not the right time, she’s got more important things to deal with.” Tom sighed, he’d been encouraging his younger brother to make his move for years, seeing how perfect you both were for each other, but he always respected Harry’s decision. just like he would now.

“Harry, i do think it’s really awesome what you’re doing though.” he cocked his head, not sure what his older brother meant.

“that you’re helping her with this, it’s really brave.” he smiled, glancing down at his lap, his cheeks flushing a bright pink.

“well, Nate left her and I didn't want her to feel like she’d been completely abandoned.” he started. “i was never going to let her do this by herself, she’s my best friend.” both Tom and Harrison could hear the hesitance in his voice when he said ‘best friend.’ everyone that looked at the pair could see they were silently begging to be more, they’d been in love for years and were way to blind to see it.

“well you’re doing good.” Harry thanked his brother, glancing up at him with a smile.

Harry was going to help you through this, just like your best friend should do.

As the months passed, rather too quickly for your liking, Nikki was completely set on taking you baby shopping. Practically dragging you out with her, and unfortunately for him, making Harry come to.

You were currently browsing through some baby clothes with Nikki, your hand on your 6 month bump. Harry was god knows where, having separated from you two a while ago, saying something about finding baby clothes with good taste.

“What about that one?” She motioned towards a simple dark blue onesie and with a simple nod of your head it was in your basket.

“Y/n!” Harry whisper yelled. You looked around until you saw him, meeting his eyes from a distance with a confused expression. “look how cute this is.” He pointed to a little onesie that looked like a duck, an eye roll coming from you.

“Put it back Harry.” You giggled, watching the boy pout adorably.

“But-“

“No.” You shook your head, the boy shuffling over to you sadly. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms going around you to sprawl his hands on your growing belly. Harry was obsessed with your belly, and luckily for him, he was one of the only people you felt comfortable letting touch your bump. He would often hold your belly or talk to it, or rub your back for you if it was hurting. His actions only made you fall deeper in love with him, something that scared you, but something that was also quite amazing to you.

Harry continued to goof around, intent on buying practically all the teddy bears he could find.

“Harry, stop.” You laughed, taking another silly onesie out of your basket and putting it back.

“Listen, i was promised food if i came and-“ You giggled.

“You’ll get food, just, after we’re done.” He huffed, turning to his mum to pester her like a child.

“If i let you get the duck onesie, will you stop?” He nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips.

“fine, go get it.” He almost squealed, rushing back down the aisles to grab it. He came back and you couldn’t help giggling at Nikki’s unimpressed face, snatching the onesie off of him to place in the basket and move on.

“You’re an idiot, Harry.” He gasped, feigning offense at your words.

“Harry junior would never treat me like this.” You rolled your eyes as he knelt down and hugged your belly.

“Harry junior?” He nodded, confidently.

“Not a chance.” You laughed, pushing his head away from you playfully.

“Come on kids.” Nikki mumbled in her motherly voice, trying to motion for you two to stop messing around.

“I’m hungry.” Harry whined again, probably for the hundredth time.

Nikki eventually grew sick of his whining, asking if you had everything you needed. You paid for your items and then decided your next stop was going to be to get Harry some food. He practically cheered at the news, acting like a child on christmas.

“You’re so weird.” He rolled his eyes, turning this back on you.

“Don’t even try and tell me baby’s not excited to eat.” He pointed to your belly accusingly, a sheepish smile covering your face.

“Hey, I'm feeding 2 people, what’s your excuse?” Nikki laughed at your childish bickering, shaking her head at you both. She couldn’t help but notice the soulmate connection between you again, just wondering when the news was finally going to come out.

After grabbing some food, Nikki dropped you off back home, getting Harry to help you take the bags of baby things inside.

“I’ll see you soon.” He gave you a quick but firm hug, kissing your head and waving goodbye. You waved as the two drove away, going inside and deciding on unpacking the things to start and put away.

The nursery currently wasn’t done, you had a few boxes with stuffed toys and things in and some with baby clothes in, just until you could guilt trip your best friend into helping you set everything up.

You moved to stand in front of the mirror you had sitting in the corner of the almost empty room. You cupped your growing belly and turned to the side, grinning slightly.

“I can’t wait to meet you.” You spoke quietly. “You’re g’na be so loved, so spoiled by the Holland boys.” You giggled. You jolted lightly when you felt a slight kick near where your hand lay.

“Can you hear me, hear mummy talking to you?” You gushed, eyes beginning to water. 

You’d heard from the nurse that it was a good idea to try talking to the baby, just to try and create that bond early on.

After getting that reaction from them, you ended up making sure to make time at least once a day until the end of your pregnancy, to just say hello.

“Hello, baby.”

<<<<>>>>

A few days after baby shopping with Nikki, you were practically begging all your close friends to stop with the baby gifts, reassuring them you had enough toys and clothes to last them a lifetime. Admittedly Tom and Sam had been the worst of the holland’s for it, so far at least, shocking you that it wasn’t Harry. Tom bombarded you with spiderman themed items, which was expected by you all.

So when Harry showed up in your flat, announcing he’d bought something else for your little bub, you couldn’t help rolling your eyes.

“Okay so, i know you said no more baby things but, i couldn’t help myself.” You groaned, throwing your head back as Harry made himself known in your flat. He found you sitting on a kitchen chair at the island, eating random pregnancy cravings you had, of which he found utterly disgusting. 

“What did you do?” He pulled out a small bag from behind his back, placing it on the counter and pulling out a small stuffed bear that replicated a tiny captain america, shield and all.

“Harry-“

“I know what you said, but I saw it and I know he’s your favourite.” He pouted, handing you the bear with a small smile. You grinned against your will, pulling him into a hug as a thank you.

“But this is the last one okay, no more baby things.” He nodded, giving you his pinky to promise. Harry watched as your body suddenly jumped, hand shifting to your belly with an excited smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come here.” You summoned him over, placing his hand on your stomach where you’d just felt your bub move.

“What am i-“ His sentence was cut short when he felt a weak kick against his palm, his eyes shooting to yours with tears brimming on his waterline.

“Was that-“

“She’s kicking.” Harry grinned, the news flying right over his head. it took a few minutes to register until his eyes finally snapped to yours.

“wait, she?” You nodded, tears now slipping down your cheeks.

“Found out this morning.” You explained.

“you’re having a little girl.” He was in awe. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“congrats y/n.” You and Harry talked for a while, mainly about baby name ideas. He recommended some names he thought were pretty, your heart warming at how involved he wanted to be with your little girl.

“what about-“ He began, before you cut him off.

“Harry, you’ve said so many names I've already forgotten the first ones.” He smiled sheepishly, apologising for overwhelming you.

“s’okay, but we’ve got plenty of time to decide, don’t worry.” He nodded. “but, i do need you to help me set up the nursery.” you smiled. 

“is this weekend okay?” You nodded.

“I can set up some furniture but I need help paint-“ He stopped you mid sentence.

“You aren’t doing anything, I'll get tom and sam to help, you just rest your pretty little self.” you rolled your eyes as your cheeks flushed a light pink shade, trying to brush off Harry’s sneaky compliment like it was nothing.

“We’ll get her room looking fit for a little princess.” 

“A spoiled little princess.” Harry rolled his eyes sassily.

“Obviously, she now has 4 uncles that are ready to spoil her.” He argued.

“Yeah, yeah.” You laughed. 

“Have you told anyone else?” You shook your head no, Harry’s eyes lighting up with a cheeky smirk.

“So I found out first?” You shushed him, pushing his shoulder. “I’m honoured, especially to know I'm your favourite.”

“I’ve told you before, Paddy’s my favourite.” He grumbled something under his breath about his brother that you didn’t hear, claiming it was nothing when you threatened to snitch on him.

“That’s what i thought, big man.” Harry’s face suddenly lit up, telling you he had an idea for something.

“Can we surprise the others with the gender?” He looked like a puppy, your heart melting. You couldn’t say no to him like that, so you nodded, Harry getting straight to how each one could go.

<<<<>>>>

You spent the next few days surprising the Holland family with the announcement of your babygirl, trying to do it discreetly. Starting with Nikki and Dom first.

“So, I have some news, but in order to break it to you-“ You motioned to Harry who was holding a box with two donuts. They were coated in pink icing, one having the words ‘it’s a’ written on in red, while the other had ‘girl.’

They took them with a thank you, Harry placing his hand on your shoulder as a good luck wish.

Your heart sank when Dom took a bite of the donut without reading it, fearing your plan had failed.

“What’s your news, y/n?” Nikki asked, smiling up at you.

“I was going to say read the donuts, but that might not work anymore.” She glanced down and read hers.

“It’s a?” You nodded. Her eyes widened when she realised what you meant. “The baby's gender?” You nodded again.

“What does yours say?” She asked her husband, quite frantically. Seeing as he’d already eaten most of his, it wasn’t very noticeable what the word had been. However, after seeing a still intact ‘G’, she was able to decipher it.

“You’re having a girl?” She asked, tearfully.

“I’m having a girl.” You confirmed, letting her pull you into a hug. She said a ‘congratulations’ into your ear, kissing your head temple as she pulled away.

“I’m so happy for you.” 

You hoped that Sam and Paddy hadn’t already heard the news from downstairs. Going up to Sam’s room, Harry asking Paddy to come and join you all.

“I have an announcement about baby.” Both sets of eyes were now on you, focused and listening.

“So boys.” you started. “You might need to put these on actually.” 

You pulled 2 baby sized shirts from behind your back, handing them over with a giggle. Sam read his first, his eyes widening upon seeing ‘favourite niece.’

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. Paddy still hadn’t got what was going on, reading over the words ‘prettiest princess.’ 

“C-can someone explain?” Harry chuckled at his younger brother and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

“She’s having a girl, Pads.” Harry explained, realisation and a wave of emotions hitting him square in the face.

“We’re so proud of you.” Sam held onto you tightly, flashing his twin a sneaky look over his shoulder.

“Thank you.” You pulled back and hugged Paddy, the boy congratulating you and assuring you that they’d be spoiling her as soon as they could.

Tom and Harrison were next after finding them both in the house.

You wanted to give Tom the most difficult task, blowing up a balloon that told you ‘it’s a girl.’

“I need you to blow this up.” You handed him the packet with the balloon inside, a groan coming from him. He begrudgingly started to blow up the balloon, his face becoming red as he slowly became out of breath.

“Holy shit!” Harrison shouted, seeing the writing on the side, even before it was fully intact.

Tom looked at it and jumped up from the couch.

“I knew it!” Tom announced, a wide grin on his face as he hugged you tightly, he swayed you both slowly, his excitement getting the best of him.

“I can’t wait to be her favourite.” You rolled your eyes, letting Harry and Tom start that debate while getting a hug from Harrison.

“Congrats y/n.”

“Thank you, Haz.” 

You spent the rest of the day by Harry’s side, the two of you fantasizing about what your baby girl’s going to be like, and you thought it was perfect.

The knock on your front door startled you, pulling your attention from the tv show you were watching. You turned the tv off, jumping up from your couch and opening it to find your best friend standing there in what he called, his ‘best painting clothes.’

“What do you think?” He motioned to his overalls and plain hoodie he was wearing, posing like he was being photographed in a photo shoot.

“You’re so weird.” He scoffed, closing your door behind him and stepping into your flat.

“You didn’t answer my question.” He said.

“What question?” You asked.

“Do you like my outfit?” You rolled your eyes when he started posing obnoxiously again. You looked at his outfit up and down and gave him a tight lipped smile.

“It looks great.” He squinted his eyes at you, unsure if you were joking or if you actually hated it.

“Also, shoes off, looks like you’ve been stood in mud for hours.” With a huff he began unlacing his shoes, leaving them by the front door.

“What if i just like jumping in mud?” He asked sassily. “Are you really going to judge me for my interests?” 

“Okay, peppa pig, i’m just saying, no mud on my floors.” You pointed your finger at him, watching him laugh as he pieced together your tv reference.

“That was a good one.” He commented.

“Thank you, I’m honoured.” You led him down the hall, opening the door to your cluttered nursery with a sigh.

“Here we are, voila.” You motioned your arms towards the very disappointing room, seeing Harry’s face drop.

“Very anticlimactic.” You rolled your eyes, punching his shoulder.

“Shut up.” You handed him a clean paint brush, taking another one out for yourself while Harry opened the lid of the paint bucket.

“What are you doing?” He asked, pointing to the paintbrush in your hand.

“Currently, nothing.”

“You aren’t painting, you’re going to sit down on your cute butt and watch.” He demanded. You stared at him in amazement.

“I’m not dying Harry, I can still do things.” He shook his head.

It had eventually taken a lot of convincing on your part to persuade Harry to let you assist him in painting the nursery. You were going on almost half an hour now.

“I can do bits, come on, i’ll take a break if i really need to.” He sighed. You’d been bugging him about it since he started almost an hour ago, the males patience wearing thin.

“Promise?” He asked, holding his pinky in your direction. Your eyes lit up, wrapping your much smaller pinky around his.

“Promise.” You confirmed, a small smirk on your face.

“Grab a paintbrush.” You squealed, Harry certain you almost burst his ear drums.

“I’ve never seen someone so excited to paint.” You pushed his shoulder, gathering some of the light coloured paint on your brush and beginning to paint the same wall as Harry, just at the opposite side. You were working well together, music from one of his many playlists playing out of his phone, creating a calm atmosphere in the room. 

You had helped paint at least one wall by the time your feet started to ache, finding it painful to stay on your feet much longer. Harry heard your uncomfortable grumbles and stared you down until you turned to look at him.

“Do you need a break?” He asked. You nodded your head, giving in, cupping your large belly and sitting down on the floor, although that was a tiring task in itself. You watched Harry work for a little while, asking him to help you up after your feet felt better. He grabbed both of your hands in his, pulling you up towards him until you were on your feet.

“Thank you.” Before resuming your painting, you waddled to your kitchen to get you both some drinks, coming back and making Harry take just a quick break.

“Think this will be done today?” He stood back and observed the progress you’d made already, one full wall down, only 2 and a half more to go.

“Possibly, if you stop slacking.” Your jaw dropped, Harry laughing as you stood there shocked.

“Well two can play at that game, Holland.” You dipped your hand into the paint bucket, moving over to Harry and placing your hand right on his cheek. 

“Y/n!” He yelled, watching as you doubled over in laughter. His mind wandered from his painted cheek and he started to see the funny side of it, deciding on getting his own back.

It ended up being a full blown paint war between you two, both of you ending up covered in paint, giggling to yourselves like children.

“You can clean this up.” You told him.

“Why me, you started it!” You grinned.

“I’m the pregnant one, and i’m gonna go shower.” You placed a teasing kiss on the one spot on his cheek that wasn’t splattered with paint. “Enjoy.” 

Harry shook his head, chuckling to himself as you waddled away.

“Crafty lady.” He muttered under his breath.

<<<<>>>>

“Oh wow, you clean up nice.” You teased, throwing him a wink.

After your shower, you felt completely refreshed, especially not being covered in cakes of paint anymore. You slipped into comfy clothes and stalked your way back to the nursery, where you were currently looking at a spotless room, yet a still painted Harry. It looked almost as if there wasn’t a paint fight here only hours before.

“I know, you’d never know some rebellious girl trashed the place.” You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. “Unless you looked at me, that is.” You laughed, shaking your head at him. 

“I can’t wait to see it done.” Harry looked around and silently agreed with you.

“It’s going to be so cute.” You finally noticed that Harry had almost completely finished painting.

“Might need another coat but, should be done soon.” 

“Thank you, for helping me, again.” You laughed. He smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

“I think i’d be a pretty shitty best friend if i didn’t.” 

“Yeah, that’s true.” He scoffed at your teasing, playfully flipping you off.

“Harold, there’s children around.” You scolded, hands cupping your belly like you were covering a child’s eyes. He laughed at you.

“Good luck getting Tom to stop, even when she’s here he’s going to be a nightmare.” You groaned.

“I didn’t even think about your foul mouthed siblings.” Harry snorted as your comment caught him off guard, the two of you falling into a state of continuous laughter to the point your stomachs ached. 

“Okay, we need to get it together.” He demanded playfully. “Let’s finish painting, then we can fuck around all we want.”

You slapped his arm at his choice of vocabulary, receiving a teasing wink from your best friend.

“Just as bad as the rest of them.” You mumbled, earning an offended scoff from him.

“How dare you.” He accused, holding his hand over his heart and feigning pain. 

“Just being honest, my dear.” 

A few days later, after the room was so ‘gracefully’ painted by you and Harry, two of the other Holland boys had come over to help put the baby's furniture together. They’d had to move the toys and clothes out before they started to put the furniture boxes in, meaning it was like a maze of baby stuff just to get to the room. Something that was definitely not very convenient for you and your large belly.

Harry and Sam had started working on the crib first, while Tom worked on the rocking chair that you would feed your girl in.

“What can i help with?” You asked entering the room, ready to do anything they needed you to.

“Nope.” Tom demanded, practically shoving you out of the nursery.

“You aren’t doing anything, you’re almost 7 months pregnant.” You rolled your eyes, seeing that there was definitely a theme between the Holland siblings. But not wanting to argue about it with him, you moved on begrudgingly.

“Fine, but if you need anything, please ask.” He nodded.

“We will.” He said. “Now leave.”

“Such a gentleman.” You commented teasingly. Tom rolled his eyes, shooing you out of the room. 

You were now left to your own devices, deciding on making something to eat in the kitchen.

You weren’t really paying attention to the time, all your focus on making food. So, when Harry came into the room you didn’t think it’d be because they were already done.

“We’re finished.” Harry announced.

“Already?” You asked, your question being ignored as Harry placed his hands over your eyes, blocking your vision from seeing anything.

“Harry, we still have to walk there, and i need to turn the stove off.” You laughed. You could practically hear him rolling his eyes, turning the stove off for you before carefully guiding you away.

“I’m not taking any chances, come on miss.” He helped you up from your chair and guided you through the hall and towards the baby’s room. He made sure you didn’t trip or bump into anything, which you were very grateful for.

You came to a sudden halt, hearing the hushed voices of Sam and Tom in the room with you.

“Okay, are you ready?” Sam asked. You nodded, trying to pry Harry’s hands from off of your eyes. 

“Let me see, come on.” You heard them laugh before Tom started counting down.

“3-“ Tom dragged it out for a lot longer than necessary, just to try and build up the anticipation. 

“2-“ You huffed, beginning to grow impatient at the lad.

“1, and a half.”

“Oh my god, will you just let me look.” Harry laughed, removing his hands from your eyes. Your eyes quickly adjusted to the bright lights of the room, looking around the nursery with watery eyes. You cursed yourself mentally as your hormones got the best of you, practically forcing you to cry.

“Why are you crying?” Sam asked, rubbing your back with a sympathetic pout.

“Hormones, happy tears, all that good stuff.” You joked. You hugged the twin tightly, well as tight as you could considering your large belly. You then hugged Tom and then Harry, staying leaned into Harry’s side with his arm around your shoulders.

“Now, you just have to sort out all the boxes.” Sam stated. 

You frowned, looking at the stacks of baby things in your hallway.

“Well is anyone helping?” Harry let go of you, shifting over to stand by his twin. The brothers looked at each other with a ‘not it’ kind of look. The twins did their weird twin telepathy thing and ended up pushing Tom towards you, making a break for your front door.

“Bye y/n, bye Tom!” 

“Dickheads.” Tom mumbled, you nodding in agreement behind him.

“Well, i guess it’s just us.” Tom grabbed a couple boxes and placed them on the floor, allowing you both to sort through them and hang up clothes, or put away toys.

“I’m loving all the spiderman things in here.”

“Tom, this whole box is basically from you.” You laughed. He shrugged, throwing you a smirk.

“No wonder these clothes are of such good taste then.” You picked up a spiderman plushie, aiming it at his head and succeeding in hitting your target. He mumbled an ‘ouch,’ shooting you a glare whilst you smiled innocently.

“How much longer?” Tom whined, laying himself down on the floor and pretending to sob.

“Stop being a baby.” You laughed, poking his stomach with your foot.

“Come on, get up.” He groaned loudly, pushing himself up.

“I feel like I'm being punished for something.” He sighed. You laughed, handing him some more stuff to put away. 

“So dramatic.” You commented.

“I am an actor, darling.” You fake gasped, turning to face him in shock.

“No way!” You stated. “Do you by any chance play this spider guy.” You held up one of the spiderman onesies he had bought a few weeks ago.

“Shut up.” He chuckled, flipping you off.

“Harry told me you wouldn’t stop swearing for the baby.” You told him, pointing to his middle finger. “You just proved him right.” 

“Oh, how awful, proving Harry right.” His comment made you giggle, telling him to behave.

You and Tom were unpacking things for a little while longer, taking the time to take a breather when you were done.

After you and Tom were finally done, you were more than ready to just sleep forever and Tom was clearly ready to go home.

“Thank you for your help.” You hugged him tightly before he left. 

“Always, see you soon y/n.” He waved, closing the door behind him. You sighed, finally getting a moment to yourself after a chaotic day filled with the three lads.

“And it’s just us again baby girl.” You smiled as she started to gently kick your belly, your heart warming as she knew you were talking to her. 

“Yeah, it’s your mummy.” You teared up slightly, cursing your hormones again.

“Why don’t we go take a nap, huh?” You cupped your belly, heading to your room and just hoping your baby could calm down enough to let you sleep.

“Goodnight angel.”

Being 9 months pregnant was ridiculously difficult. You yourself felt like the child, rather than the one you were carrying, at this point. You couldn’t do anything without someone else to help you. The Hollands had been utter angels to you, helping you with every little thing to make sure you were completely prepared to give birth.

“How you feeling today, mama?” Tom teased as you entered the kitchen to fulfill, yet another craving.

“Tired, and huge.” You whined, pouting at the oldest Holland. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and hugged you.

“Not long now, then you’ll have your adorable little girl.” You nodded your head, smiling at the thought.

“Feels like it’s taking forever.” You complained.

“Why don’t you go take a nap?” You nodded, thanking Tom before heading upstairs to Harry’s room. You weren’t sure where he was, assuming he was doing something with either his twin or his little brother.

Little did you know that this sleep was not going to be as peaceful as you originally hoped.

A sharp pain in your lower abdomen woke you from your sleep, jolting upright and cupping your large belly. You took deep breaths, letting your eyes adjust to being awake before checking the time on the clock next to Harry's bed. 

You convinced yourself it was nothing, pushing yourself out of bed to use the bathroom before you’d go back to sleep like nothing happened.

However, another sharp pain followed by a gush of water made you panic.

“Harry!” You shouted, not knowing where in the house he was. He ran into his childhood bedroom with a scared look on his face, finding you standing in the middle of the floor, cupping the bottom of your belly standing in a puddle of water and squeezing your eyes shut in pain.

“Hey.” He placed his hand on your lower back, the other lifting your chin to look at him. “What happened?” You panted as the contraction wore off.

“I-I think my water just broke.” His eyes widened, yelling for his Mum.

For the last few weeks of your pregnancy, you’d been staying in the Holland household just in case anything were to happen. It also meant you had Nikki’s help when you finally went into labour, just like right now.

“What’s wrong?” Harry looked at his mum in fear.

“Her water broke.” He simply stated. Nikki nodded, refusing to show any sign of panic as she made her way over to you.

“We need to get you to the car, Harry can you-“ He nodded, taking your hand and being careful to walk you downstairs, stopping halfway to help you wait out your contraction. 

When you were finally in the car you noticed Sam was now driving, giving him a tight lipped smile and a thank you.

“You’re doing so well, y/n.” You laid your head on Harry’s shoulder, squeezing his hand as you took deep breaths to try and calm the pain.

“So proud of you, bug.” You smiled, looking up at him.

“You haven’t called me that in years.” Truthfully, Harry stopped calling you that after he met Nate. there was one time where he let it slip, like a habit in front of him and he didn’t react too kindly about it.

“It just kinda slipped out.” You tucked your head into his neck again.

“I like it, don’t worry.” The drive felt as though it was never going to end. You wanted nothing more than to make it to the hospital and get your baby out of you so this pain would stop. Every few minutes you’d squeeze the life out of Harry’s hands, crying out in pain.

“We’re here.” Sam announced. You were helped into the hospital where you were led to a private room, your contractions growing closer together and, arguably more painful, as time passed by.

“Harry.” You whimpered, clutching his arm as another contraction shot through your body. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“You can, you’re one of the strongest people I know.” He said, pressing his lips to your head to try and calm you down.

“It hurts.” You looked up at him with tears threatening to fall from your eyes, his heart shattering as he had to witness the pain his favourite person was going through.

“You can do this, I know you can.” Half an hour later you were giving birth, one of the most painful, and if not, the most painful experience of your life. Harry stayed with you the whole time like he’d promised you all those months ago, letting you squeeze the life out of his hand. All while he’d whisper words of encouragement and praise to you.

“One final push, y/n.” You panted like a dog that needed water, listening to the doctor countdown from 10. The final push was the most relieving one of all, your baby girl finally being brought out into the world, her hearty wails echoing around the hospital room.

You leaned your head on Harry’s chest while they cleaned her, utterly worn out. The tiny girl was placed on your chest, a small sob slipping past your lips as you stared down at her.

One by one the doctors started to leave the room, checking you and baby were okay first.

Once you, Harry and your girl were left alone, you finally grinned widely.

“I can’t even believe she’s real.” You said.

“Did you decide on a name?” He asked, bending down to be closer to your height. You nodded with a grin, taking his hand into yours.

“What is it?” You turned your attention back to her.

“Happy birthday, Lily rose y/l/n.” You kissed her head, tears running down your face as you stared at your perfect creation. Harry grinned, tearing up slightly as he put it altogether.

“Roses for Lily?” You looked at him and nodded.

“My way of honouring you for everything you’ve done for me.” He leaned down and hugged you, trying to not let you know that he was secretly crying over the sweet gesture.

“A december baby, just like Paddy.” You giggled, nodding your head. You stroked her cheek as gently as you possibly could, feeling too emotional and filled with adoration to even speak. Her tiny, bright eyes fluttered to a close, feeling content enough with being in her mother’s arms to fall asleep.

You and Harry didn’t speak for a while, scared that even a quiet noise would wake up your precious angel. This continued until Harry eventually broke the silence, just to tell you how amazing you were.

“ ‘m so proud of you.” Harry stroked his fingers through your hair, disregarding that you were a sweaty mess as you finally held your little girl. She slept soundly as the two of you admired the little bub.

“Thank you Harry, really.” You whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“For what?” He asked.

“For helping me through this, all of it, I wouldn’t have survived the last 9 months without you.” You told him, tearfully.

“You don’t have to thank me, I would never make you do this alone.” He kissed your head, a small smile permanently glued to your face. Both of your attentions were directed back to Lily.

“She’s absolutely perfect.” He confessed. You nodded in agreement.

The little bub started to blink open her eyes, her sleep not lasting very long, showing you the gorgeous orbs that were the same colour as yours.

“Hi pretty girl.” She let out a yawn, the unknown action scaring her, you watched as her face scrunched up and she began to cry.

“Oh no, you’re okay, was just a yawn.” You nuzzled your nose against her head, gently placing your lips against her skin to soothe her.

“I know, it was scary hm?” The little one calmed down after a little while, entranced with Harry who sat in her eye line.

“That was the cutest thing ever.” You giggled, motioning for Harry to take a seat on your bed. He carefully leaned over and traced her cheek with his thumb, tearing up when her tiny hand wrapped around his much bigger thumb.

You smiled at the sight, laying your head against his chest. You didn’t want to kill the happy mood, but you couldn’t help but let your mind drift off to thinking about Nate.

“Should I text him, just to let him know?” You wondered aloud. Harry looked down at you and noticed the uncertainty clouded in your eyes.

“Did he ever respond to your last text?” You shook your head. Even though he said he wasn’t ready to be a father, you’d still sent Nate updates every now and then, sometimes pictures of sonograms, or sometimes if she was kicking, just to let him know his girl was doing okay.

“Just leave it, he clearly doesn’t care.” You nodded sadly, glancing back down at your bub, you noticed the discomfort on her face before she began to tear up, quickly turning into a heart wrenching wail, your own heart aching not knowing what was wrong.

“Y/n?” You lifted your head and glanced at Nikki standing in the doorway of your hospital room. “The midwife said she might need feeding, she should be in soon.” You nodded, cooing at the baby to try and stop her cries. You motioned for Nikki to come inside, letting her take a spare seat beside your bed, looking down at Lily with a watery smile.

There was a knock on your hospital room door a few minutes later, opening just slightly for the woman to pop her head around and announce her presence.

“Hi y/n.” You looked up, spotting the nurse and giving her a warm smile. “Are you ready to try and feed her?” 

You nodded your head, Harry’s eyes widening when he realised what was happening and that you would have to partly undress.

“I’ll wait outside.” He offered, trying to be a gentleman.

“Oh, are you sure?” You didn’t mind Harry being here while you fed Lily, but you respected that he might feel uncomfortable. He kissed your head before leaving the room, going to update his brothers on how everything was going.

Feeding Lily for the first time was a strange experience, but you were glad you had Nikki and the midwife by your side to tell you it was completely normal and you would eventually get used to it.

After feeding, burping and rocking the girl to sleep, Harry came back in, switching with his mother to take the place beside your bed. Nikki kissed your head in a motherly way and decided to leave to let you sleep.

“Nikki, if you want to go home, you can.” You said, feeling bad to make the family wait with you.

“Are you sure, we can always stay?” You smiled and nodded.

“I’ll have to stay here until tomorrow anyway, i’ll come straight to you.” She nodded, bidding you, Lily and her son goodbye.

You and Harry both sat in silence for a few minutes, just watching the baby in your arms sleep peacefully. Harry was, once again, first to break the silence.

“Why don’t you get some sleep, in the nicest way possible, y’look exhausted.” Harry commented, stroking his fingers through your hair as your eyes fought to stay open. Lily sleeping calmly in your arms.

“Don’t wanna miss a second.” You whined, looking over at Harry with a pout he found adorable.

“I'll watch her, I promise.” You nodded reluctantly, Harry carefully took the baby wrapped in the fluffy, white blanket into his arms, listening to your instructions on how to hold her properly, then assisting you in getting comfortable on the hospital bed.

For the next few hours, Harry stayed mesmerised with the newborn in his arms, while you got some well deserved sleep after an extremely long day. 

<<<<>>>>

Harry drove you to the Holland house before driving you home from the hospital the next morning, watching you be completely entranced with your little creation. You were so careful with every movement you made, trying not to scare or overwhelm her. 

She was properly introduced to each of the Holland siblings, giving the boys the chance to hold her and just talk to her. The whole thing turned out to be a lot more chaotic than you would have originally anticipated.

“Where does my hand go?” Tom asked frantically. You guided one to the back of her head and then the other to hold her back. You told Tom he was doing perfect, calming his nerves slightly.

Paddy was much less of a nightmare than Tom, not even needing the help to position his hands. He looked in awe of the tiny human that was staring up at him, his heart all fuzzy and excited.

Sam was a pro, clearly having held many babies in his lifetime, probably because of all the Holland siblings he could be trusted the most with a human life. “She’s gorgeous, y/n.” Harry and Tom nodded, Paddy still not taking his eyes off the girl in his brother's arms.

Nikki cried while getting to finally hold Lily, her heart swelling with pride. You were practically a daughter to her and she couldn’t find the words to explain how proud she was of you. Harry watched your eyes grow heavier and heavier, deciding it was time to take you back to your own home now. They were all reluctant to let you leave, making you promise you’d be back as soon as possible, which of course you were more than happy to do.

Driving back to your own home, you were filled with the excitement of the idea of introducing Lily into the place she’d grow up.

It didn’t take long to get there, Harry helping to carry your stuff inside while you cradled your babygirl. 

“This is your home Lily.” Harry watched you both, practically with heart eyes bulging from his head. You showed Lily around some more. You were fully aware that she didn’t understand anything you were saying, but you were hoping that just your voice was capable of soothing the girl. Harry was carrying your hospital bag with him as you led him to the nursery.

You had some hesitations about leaving her in a separate room from you, knowing that she’d need you multiple times in the night anyway.

“Would it be too much trouble to put her crib in my room?” You asked him, hoping he’d be able to move it for you. He shook his head no, taking your bag to your room first. When he came back with the crib you could see he was visibly struggling to get it through the door. You felt bad for laughing, but watching Harry struggle like this just seemed to crack you up.

“I’m glad you find this funny.” He muttered sarcastically, pushing his curls out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered through your giggles, rubbing Lily’s back.

The crib was rolled into place a little space away from your bed, letting you lay your baby girl down on the soft fabric of the blanket inside.

“There we go.” You watched the girl quickly fall asleep in her new crib, your heart warm and happy. Harry sat beside you, shoulders and thighs touching you were that close.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Incredible, I never thought i could love someone so much.” He couldn’t help but smile at you, you looked perfect to him right now. The dopey smile never left your face, the same giddy feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach since the night before. A small yawn escaped your lips, Harry thinking it was the cutest sound ever.

“You tired?” He asked. You nodded, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Come on.” You furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head like a confused puppy.

“What?” You asked, rubbing your tired eyes.

“Get some sleep, you’ve had a long day.” He kissed your head. You checked on Lily one more time. 

“What if she needs me?”

“She doesn’t need you right now, at least get some sleep while you still can.” You sighed before you climbed into bed, already in pyjamas. You pulled your covers up over your body, right up to your chin and almost passed out as soon as your head hit the soft pillow, not realising you were this unbelievably tired.

“Will you stay?” You asked quietly, the idea of being without him seeming to scare you slightly. Harry smiled, nodding his head, laying down beside you. You cuddled into his side, resting your head on his chest comfortably.

“Sweet dreams y/n.” You hummed, nuzzling your face in his warm hoodie.

“Love you, Harry.” You mumbled. He blushed, a silly smile spreading on his face.

“Love you more.” He mumbled, right as you drifted off.

Just as you had suspected, Lily needed you sooner than your body appreciated, seeing as from the time on the clock you’d only been asleep a couple of hours. You woke up to the sound of her cries from the crib, pushing yourself up out of bed and shuffling over to her.

“Oh no, you’re okay.” You hadn’t realised that you’d woken Harry in your haste to get to Lily, the male stretching his muscles, confused himself about when he had fallen asleep.

“She okay?” He asked, voice raspy and full of sleep.

“ ‘m not sure.” You’d already checked her nappy, finding it clean, your next thought being that she was hungry.

“Do you mind if i try and feed her?” Harry was slightly taken back, eyes wide, reduced to a stuttering mess as he thought about you having your bare chest exposed in front of him.

“No, of course, s-she needs to eat, go ahead.” He turned his head away to give you some privacy, finding anything else to put his focus on. He heard you huff, a small whimper coming from you as well.

“Everything okay?” He asked, hearing you sniffle.

“She won’t latch on.” You complained, pulling your shirt up and cradling Lily to your chest. He knew you well enough to know you were getting stressed, not knowing how to help her.

“Can i try?” He asked, noticing the tears welled up in your waterline. You nodded your head, assisting Harry in taking Lily into his arms. 

He cooed at the small baby, shushing her and holding her head just under his chin. It didn’t take long for her cries to begin to quieten down, Harry’s scent or presence must have had a strong effect on her because she was calm again in a few minutes.

You didn’t have the energy to be sad or mad that Harry was able to handle her better than you already. You simply rested your chin on his shoulder, kissing his cheek as a thank you.

“You go back to sleep, I'll hold her just a little bit longer.” You nodded sleepily, climbing back into your bed and falling to sleep with the knowledge that Lily was in perfectly good hands.

“You’re okay, aren’t you?” The girl blinked up at him, her eyes curious as she watched the curly haired man talk. She obviously didn’t understand a word he was saying, but that didn’t matter now that she was calm and happy.

“Goodnight Lily.” He carefully placed her down in the crib, watching over her until she drifted off. Harry climbed into your bed as quietly as he could, trying his hardest to not wake you with all the movement.

He froze when you rolled over, accepting your warmth as you cuddled back into his side like you were earlier.

“Is she okay?” You asked, half awake.

“She’s perfect.”

It was officially only days before christmas and Lily was already almost 2 weeks old, which you couldn’t believe. You’d gotten help to make sure you had everything prepared present wise, but you and Lily were going to spend actual Christmas day with the Hollands.

A sudden distressed cry woke you from your sleep, pushing yourself out of your bed to tend to your babygirl. You moved around to the other side of your bed, your baby looking at you with teary eyes and a red face.

“Oh, there’s my little angel.” You gently lifted her from her crib, holding her against your chest and gently stroking her back. You bounced her gently, pressing kisses to her head to try and soothe her.

“You’re okay.” She continued to wail in your ear, your heart aching for your precious girl.

“You hungry darling?” You looked at her distressed face, taking a seat on your bed, lifting your shirt up to let her latch on.

You sighed, leaning your head back and glancing at the time on your phone screen. 4:23am.

“We’re gonna have to get you a better sleep schedule baby.” After she was done feeding, you carefully laid her back down in her crib, watching over her for a few minutes to make sure she was okay, before climbing back into bed yourself. You were out like a light the second your head hit your pillow, you were utterly exhausted.

The next morning you were woken again by loud babbles from Lily, checking the time and seeing it was almost 10am.

You sighed, pushing yourself out of bed and scooping the girl up in your arms. Harry would be coming over soon anyway. You changed Lily’s nappy and dressed her in a fluffy purple onesie, making your way into your living room to set her down in the kitchen, so you could make breakfast.

“Y/n?” You called back with a ‘hey’, letting Harry know where you were. 

He entered the kitchen with a smile, moving over to the little baby to give her some affection.

“There's my favourite little girl.” She babbled, reaching up to try and touch his face. He carefully picked her up out of her high chair, pressing kisses to her cheeks and having a mini conversation with her. At least as best he could considering she didn’t understand anything he was saying.

“So, how’s it going being a mum?” Harry asked, entranced with the girl in his arms who was grabbing at his fingers.

“I adore her but,” You paused, seeing Harry look up in concern at the ‘but’. “I’m so stressed and sleep deprived.” Harry could see how tense you were, he’d noticed how tired you looked when he first came in, but he didn’t want to sound rude.

“I didn’t realise it’d be this hard by myself.” You complained.

“Let me look after her for a few hours,” He offered. “Go and catch up on some sleep.” You were hesitant, feeling bad to burden him with Lily, but also growing slightly protective over her.

“She’ll be okay, would i ever let you down?” You shook your head, thanking him.

“Be good for Harry.” You kissed her head, Harry pouting when he didn’t get a forehead kiss too.

“Anyone would think you’re the newborn.” He grinned, accepting your kiss with a smile.

“Have a good sleep.”

“Thank you,” A lightbulb went off in your head, realising he didn’t know what to do. You turned back around to tell him and he simply rolled his eyes. “If she cries, there’s a bottle in the fridge, just heat it up, nappies are in in her nursery and-“

“I’ll be fine, if I need any help I'll call my mum.” You nodded, taking a deep breath before heading to bed to catch up on lots of missed sleep.

“Looks like it’s just me and you now.” Harry spoke to the girl. The two had a fairly enjoyable time together, Harry in love with everything she did and the girl in awe of him. It was hours later that you were trudging into the living room looking much more refreshed. Harry was sitting on the couch, Lily against his chest while the curly haired man talked to her.

“How did it go?” You asked, taking a seat next to them and resting your head on Harry’s shoulder.

“She was a perfect angel, didn’t cry once.” He boasted. You grinned, stroking her chubby cheek.

“Thank you for helping me, my hero.” You kissed his cheek, watching Lily scrunch up his shirt in her tiny fist. It wasn’t long before your bub began to get uncomfortable, beginning to cry her small heart out.

“I think she’s finally ready for her nap.” You carefully lifted her off of Harry’s chest, taking her over to the bassinet you kept in your living room. You laid her down, hovering over her for a few minutes to make sure she knew you were there.

“Go to sleep hunny, I know you’re tired.” You watched her eyes flutter shut, content with the world around her.

“And then there were two.” You said, sitting down next to Harry again. He yawned and stretched his arms above his head.

“I mean, I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted after watching her.” You huffed.

“Don’t leave me yet.” You begged, staring at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Can I just nap here?” He asked, watching you think about it.

“I guess so.” You said, Harry scoffing at how unamused you sounded. You flashed him a cheeky grin, motioning for him to lay his head on your lap.

“Here.” You handed him a fluffy blanket that you usually kept on the back of your couch, throwing it over his body to keep him warm. You spent the next hour stroking through his curls, watching him sleep peacefully with the comfort of your warmth. With your other hand you just scrolled through your phone, not wanting to disturb Harry with the sounds of the tv.

He eventually started to shift, signalling to you that he was waking up. His hair was messy and he looked absolutely adorable, staring up at you with tired eyes.

“Thank you.” He mumbled. Nuzzling his face into your hoodie material.

“Always.” 

<<<<>>>>

3 days later and it was officially Christmas day, you were getting Lily’s stuff together to head over to the Hollands. You had already taken presents over a few days earlier, just so today you only had to bring yourself and your baby.

The drive over to the Holland household was quite pleasant. There was soft christmas music playing in the background, with the bubbly feeling of excitement in the pit of your stomach.

Getting out of the warmth of your car, you were hit with the freezing december weather, rubbing your hands together for warmth.

Lily was quick to protest at the change in temperature with a small uncomfortable cry, her chubby cheeks turning a soft pink shade as the cold hit her.

Your cold knuckles knocked on the front door of the house, a shiver running through your body.

You wrapped Lily’s coat around her tighter, pulling her little hat down and doing everything you could to protect her from the blistering cold. The door to the Holland house opened a few minutes later to a smiley Harry. Welcoming you inside.

“There’s my favourite girl.” Harry said, taking Lily from your arms and cradling her close to his warmth. You scowled at him playfully.

“Me or her?” You asked, teasing your best friend. “Be careful with your answer.” 

“You, obviously.” He stated, like it was a fact. When you nodded, seemingly satisfied, he leaned in close to Lily, his mouth close to her tiny ear.

“I lied, it’s definitely you.” He whispered to the girl, tickling her to make her giggle. You scoffed.

“I heard that, Holland.” He laughed, sending you a teasing wink.

You followed him into the living room, seeing the other Holland’s scattered around doing various things.

“We have visitors.” Harry announced, motioning to you. Sam was quick to practically snatch Lily, peppering her cheek with soft kisses.

“Merry christmas y/n!” Nikki said, pulling you into a tight hug. You said it back, thanking her for letting you crash their Christmas day.

“You’re always welcome.” Tom was next to pull you into a hug, ruffling your hair like an older brother would. 

“Did I hear y/n?” Paddy asked, slipping into the living room to look for you.

“Hi, little man.” The nickname caused him to groan, it’d been something you’d called him for years, even after he passed you in height.

“I’m taller than you.” You rolled your eyes, pulling him into a hug.

“And I don’t care.” You simply stated. You watched Lily receive all the affection she could ever ask for, babbling incoherent things. 

“Can we open presents now?” Paddy asked, motioning to the pile under the tree.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” You whined, feeling bad that the teenager was unable to have a normal christmas morning.

“You’re here now, so let’s get started!” Paddy announced. You stifled a laugh, nodding your head. You watched with a smile as the lads fussed Lily, helping her rip open the wrapping paper on her presents.

“Come here a second.” Harry said, tapping your shoulder. He took your hand and lead you away from his family.

“This is for Lily.” You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend.

“It better not be another stuffed animal, she has too many already.” You joked. Harry shook his head with a small grin, telling you to just open it. Harry had pulled you over to a more quiet part of the living room to give you this, not wanting his brothers to see or hear.

“A blanket?” You asked, looking at him in confusion. A blush rose to his cheeks. He showed you the space where Lily’s name was engraved in, only confusing you further.

“I don’t get it- why did we have to open it separately?” You asked.

“I-i may have made it.” He stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You awed, finding it cute that he’d go through so much trouble for you.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not.” You argued. “I think it’s adorable.” You said, squeezing his cheek playfully.

“I didn’t really know what to get her so-“

“Harry, this is perfect, thank you.” 

After all the presents came the part all the Holland boys were the most excited about; christmas dinner.

They practically ran to the dining room when Nikki announced it was ready, taking their seats at the table and digging into their plates like animals.

“You’re like savages.” Nikki muttered, receiving a laugh from you as you dug into your own food. Every now and then you’d alternate between eating and amusing Lily so she wouldn’t cry.

You pinched her cheek gently, wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth with a napkin.

“Such a messy baby.” You said. She just babbled, showing you her gummy smile that made your heart flutter.

“A bit like Harry.” Sam said, receiving a slap to the arm from his twin. You laughed at the two, leaving your angel to finish up the last bits of your meal.

After dessert Nikki turned down your offer to help clean up, forcing one of her boys to do it instead. Tom groaned, trailing to the kitchen with some dirty dishes in his hands, muttering complaints on the way.

“Nikki, that was amazing, thank you.” She smiled, kissing your head as she walked by. The table was disturbed when your little bub began to cry, you being able to recognise that she was crying for food.

“I think she’s hungry.” You pouted, lifting her up into your arms.

“Go feed her, we’ll sort this.” Sam said, motioning to the table that needed clearing.

“Are you sure?” You asked, feeling slightly bad.

“Unless Harry’s going to grow boobs and feed her, I'm pretty sure you’re the only one that can.” Harry slapped his twin upside the head, calling him an idiot. You just laughed, making your way up the stairs to feed your precious angel.

<<<<>>>>

“I really enjoyed today, thank you.” Harry squeezed your shoulders gently.

“We’re all glad you were both here.” The two of you continued to get ready for bed, you also getting Lily into her onesie. The three of you would be sharing Harry’s bed in his childhood room for the night, having to make sure Lily stayed safe between you both.

You climbed under the covers, next to your already sleeping daughter. You had a smile gracing your face, one that Harry couldn’t help but completely adore.

“Goodnight Harry, merry christmas.” You whispered, laying your arm over Lily gently to make sure she’d be safe.

“Merry christmas y/n.” 

“Tom, what am I going to do for the twins' birthday, I have no idea what to get for them.” You complained down the phone, collapsing on your bed. Tom sighed on the other end of the phone, running his hand over his face, exasperated.

“I’m having the same problem.” He huffed sadly.

“We don’t have long either.” You reasoned, glancing at the date on your calendar, which read the 10th.

“Do you want to go out at some point, look for some presents together?” He asked. You sat up, eyes widening.

“Yeah, I think that’d be a perfect idea.” You said excitedly.

“We’ll need to talk about the party too, mum’s been shouting at me to plan something as soon as possible.” You giggled.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

You and Tom planned when and where you were going to go, the male telling you how excited he was to see Lily again, especially after not seeing her for the past few days because of how busy he’s been with work.

“Are you more excited to see Lily than me?” You asked, feigning offense.

“You have an adorable baby, can you really blame me?” You rolled your eyes.

“No not really.” You laughed.

“So, i’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, checking with you.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Just like he promised, Tom was knocking on your door the next day, announcing he was ready to take you and Lily out shopping. You kissed Lily’s head, walking to the door and opening it for your friend, welcoming him in. He was quick to take the angel out of your arms, giving her sweet kisses all over her face while you zipped up her tiny coat. The girl babbled happily, making you smile as you got her stuff together. 

“You ready to go?” He asked. You nodded, letting him be the one to lay Lily down in her pram. 

The two of you had agreed on walking to your destination. The walk was pleasant, the two of you having the chance to catch up on everything you’ve missed, and for Tom to catch up on everything he’d missed with your little bub.

You wrapped the tiny coat and blanket tighter around Lily in her pram, trying to shield her from the cold February air. Tom smiled at the bubbly baby, wrapping his own coat around himself tighter.

“She looks so cute.” He pointed out, poking her chubby cheeks gently. You giggled, nodding your head. She basically only looked like a little chubby head under all the layers.

“Now, let’s go.” You announced, dragging Tom towards the shops where you were going to find your presents for the Holland boys. He led you straight to a jewellery shop, wanting to look at the expensive watches they had to offer.

“Tom, you can’t be serious.” You said, watching him gawk at the very pricey rolex.

“Why not?” He asked teasingly. You shook your head at him, deciding to look around. You noticed Lily was staring at the way the jewels and sparkles would shine when they caught the light, the baby completely entranced. You carefully picked her up, keeping the blanket wrapped around her so she didn’t get cold. You pointed out the shiny metals, talking to her quietly as she stared amazed.

“I think she’s enjoying herself.” Tom mumbled coming up behind you, getting a nod in response.

“Did you buy the watch?” You asked. Tom lifted the bag, an eye roll coming from you.

“Gonna split it with my mum and dad, promise.” 

“Now you have to help me.” 

You and Tom forgot to anticipate that paps would take any opportunity to catch you two together, to use pictures for false, shocking headlines.

The two of you didn’t even realise, too focused on finding the perfect birthday presents for the twins. You had enjoyed the majority of your day, forgetting how fun it was to spend time with him.

It was only when you got multiple messages from Harry, sending you screenshots of the headline that stated:

‘Tom Holland’s secret family spotted out in London together.”

The picture was of you and Tom laughing, the male pushing Lily’s pram, beaming down at her.

You were completely over it. You barely even wanted to show Tom. He was finally getting a break, showing Lily all the cute teddy bears. He loved hearing the girl laugh from the second she learned how to. 

“Tom?” You called, watching his head turn around to look at you, a large smile on his face and the almost 2 month old babbling happily in his arms. You handed him your phone, seeing his face drop and him sigh angrily. 

“Just ignore it, I’ll get someone on it later.” You nodded, wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing him. You laid your head on his shoulder, welcoming the friendly kiss he placed on your head.

“Now, let me buy my adorable niece a teddy bear and we can actually get what we came for.” You giggled, rolling your eyes at the idea of more stuffed toys coming into your flat. After Tom bought her the bear, she wouldn’t let it go, her tiny hands clinging on to it as Tom carried her throughout the next shop you visited.

You thankfully did end up finding a present for both Harry and Sam. Your gift to Sam was rather simple, just some things he could use for cooking. However, your gift to Harry was a lot more meaningful. Every time you’d been out together over the last few months, Harry had eyed the same new camera in a shop window. You knew how badly he wanted it, but he was so attached to his current camera that he would never buy it for himself. So, you decided to give him a little push, buying it for him to surprise him on his birthday.

Nothing much else really happened with the whole press situation, until you got home that was, finding Harry waiting by your flat door.

“Oh hi, I didn’t know you were coming over.” He helped you get the pram through the door, waiting awkwardly while you put Lily down for her nap, even if she slept a lot while you were out.

“So, to what do I owe the honour?” You asked light heartedly. You were in a rather good mood after spending a fun day with one of your oldest friends. You grabbed a bottle of water and turned to face Harry with a smile.

“Why were you with Tom?” He asked, rather viciously too. Your smile dropped, tilting your head in confusion.

“What?” 

“Well you’re part of his secret family now so-“ You sighed.

“Can we please not talk about this?” He reluctantly nodded, the two of you standing in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Harry broke the silence again, something he was always good at doing.

“Why were you out with Tom, doing- whatever that headline said.” You rolled your eyes, annoyed that you were talking about this again.

“Are you in love with him or something!” It physically hurt Harry to even ask, the idea that the girl of his dreams was in love with his brother instead of him.

“Harry, you’re being ridiculous.” You muttered. He huffed angrily.

“I’m being ridiculous, really?” His voice was slowly growing louder.

“It’s ridiculous that we’re still talking about this.” You complained. 

“Why won’t you tell me what was going on?” He asked.

“Harry, please quieten down, I don't want Lily to wake up.” You begged. He ran his hands over his face, breathing deeply.

“Stop ignoring the question, are you in love with Tom, yes or no?” You heard a loud wail, your heart dropping as you started to make your way towards the nursery.

“Y/n!” You turned around and glared at him.

“Harry, I’m in love with you, you idiot, not Tom.” Harry gasped, through your anger you hadn’t even realised your slip up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a crying baby to go and help.” Harry stared at you in shock as you walked away. 

He was frozen in his spot, processing the last few minutes over again in his head. He cursed himself, walking in a haste over to the nursery.

He knocked on the open door, watching you cradle a crying Lily before entering.

You didn’t acknowledge him, but he knew he could talk and you would hopefully listen.

“I’m sorry for waking her.” Harry watched as you bounced the girl in your arms, holding her to your chest.

“S’okay.” You whispered.

“So, we need to talk about what you said.” You sighed, tears springing to your eyes at the memory of your accidental confession, fear filling your body.

“Let me just put her down, then we can.” He nodded, leaving you to go and take a seat in the living room. Once Lily was calm and sleeping again, you laid her down in her crib, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself. 

“I can do this.” You hyped yourself up. You entered your living room and found Harry sitting there, nervously wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“Hi.” You mumbled quietly, secretly hoping he wouldn’t hear you. Harry’s head whipped in your direction, so fast you were surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash. He gave you a tight lipped smile, motioning for you to take a seat beside him.

“Look I-“

“I shouldn’t have-“ You both began speaking at the same time, laughing quietly.

“You go first.” You said, not really wanting to talk about your feelings straight away, especially with it still being a mystery about how Harry feels.

“You know I’ve always been intimidated by Tom and you know, you’re my best friend not his.” He whined, sounding quite like a child, “I’m sorry for snapping.” You nodded understandingly, taking his hand into yours. Your fingers laced together like it was completely natural.

“We were just shopping for birthday presents for you and Sam.” You whispered, seeing the frown take over his face. 

“I’m so sorry.” He apologised. You were quick to forgive him, just like you always were. You found it impossible to be mad at him when he was just so adorable.

“So, what did you need to tell me?” He said, filling you with dread.

“Please don’t make me repeat it, i’m already nervous.” You huffed, looking at him for any sign of mercy. He grinned.

“I’m in love with you too.” He ran his fingers through your hair gently, tucking it behind your ear.

“Why are we like this?” He asked. 

“We’ve just been completely oblivious.” You said, turning to watch him. He shuffled closer, thighs touching in a comforting way.

You rested your foreheads together, laughing quietly as you looked at eachother. The heat of the moment suddenly took over and you were both leaning in, your lips connecting in a sweet first kiss, one that had been building up for the last 11 years. Your lips molded together, your hands coming up to tug at Harry’s curls. One of his hands cupped your jaw, trying to pull you impossibly closer to him.

“Harry-“ You mumbled, trying to pull away. He whined, shaking his head and pushing on the back of your neck to connect your lips again.

You hummed, tugging on his hair a little too tightly to pull his head back.

“What was that for?” He pouted, chasing your lips to try and pull you back into another kiss. Your heart fluttered.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?” You asked, running your fingertips over the short curls on the back of his head, trying to soothe the sore spot you’d tugged on.

“Cause we're idiots.” He muttered with a cheeky smile, shrugging his shoulders simply. You giggled, nodding your head.

“I know things aren’t as easy as it’d normally be, you know with Lily but-“

“Harry, you’re basically her dad at this point.” You stated. Realising what you said might freak him out, you felt the need to elaborate. “I-i mean, you spend so much time with her, she loves you.” He smiled, a soft blush coating his cheeks.

“Really?” You nodded. He grinned uncontrollably, lifting his hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb.

“Do you maybe, want to give us a go?” He asked.

“Not if that’s how you’re going to ask.” You sassed, jokingly of course. His face fell, shaking his head.

“Right, uh.” He lifted his head, looking directly into your eyes. “Y/n Y/l/n, will you be my girlfriend?” 

Your heart fluttered, hearing the words you’d wanted to hear for so long.

“Harry Holland,” You said, cupping his cheek with your hand, stroking your thumb along his cheekbone. “I would like nothing more.” 

“Where’s Lily?” He asked breathlessly, pulling off his jacket and tossing it somewhere in your room. You giggled, barely even registering his question when his lips brushed your neck, tickling the sensitive skin.

“Her uncles wanted to spend some quality time with her.” You explained. He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, not understanding what you meant. “She’s with Tom and Paddy, they wanted to take her for the night.” He groaned, a bright smile spreading across his face. “So, we’re completely alone.” You said suggestively.

“I’ve never been more grateful to have brothers than right now.” You laughed, feeling him nip at your chest.

“Uh-uh.” You said, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip. “No marks though, unless you’re willing to explain where I got them.” You breathed, already noticing a few start to bloom on your chest.

“Good point.” He hummed, leaning in to kiss you. The kiss was vastly different from Harry’s quick movements only seconds ago. It was slow and passionate, like you both had all the time in the world to show each other this kind of affection.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, brushing some stray hair from your face.

“Yeah, been wanting to do this for years.” You admitted.

Yours and Harry’s night included multiple rounds of fun after gaining both of your consent, taking full advantage of not having to focus on your daughter right now. 

“We should not have waited that long to do that.” You said, completely breathless as Harry collapsed to your side, letting his head hit the pillow. He chuckled from beside you, letting you cuddle into his side, ignoring how sweaty you both were. 

“Get some sleep, you seem like you need it.” He said. “Looks like I wore you out.” He teased. You scoffed, weakly hitting his chest.

“You need it more than me old man.” He gasped, feigning offense as you both burst into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom first, I’ll be back soon handsome.” You weren’t gone for long, not wanting to be away from Harry’s body for too long. You simply did your business and then headed back.

On your way back into your room you saw Harry’s eyes drooping, looking like he was about to pass out from exhaustion any second.

“You’re so cute when you’re tired.” You commented, crawling back into your bed and cuddling up into his side, your head laying on his chest. He nuzzled his face on the top of your head, sighing.

“You’re like a puppy.” You said, seeing his face screw up in disagreement. “You are.” You giggled.

“Shh, go to sleep.” He said tiredly, holding his finger to your lips to keep you quiet. You rolled your eyes, kissing his finger to make him sleepily giggle.

“Goodnight.” He just hummed in response, too tired to even respond.

You slept incredibly that night. Whether it was just because you’d been worn out, or if it was because you were in Harry’s warm hold, you didn’t find yourself stirring until the late hours of the morning.

Harry seemed to already be awake, staring out of your bedroom window at the morning sky from the comfort of your bed.

“Morning.” You mumbled, kissing his chest softly. He turned his head, smiling down at you. He ran the back of his hand over your cheek, then his thumb over your bottom lip. You leaned up, kissing him slowly before pulling back.

“Good morning.” He greeted. The two of you laid together still in bliss of your previous events until the last minute you could, your naked front rested against Harrys, his hand stroking over the expanse of your back, while your hand rested on his chest.

“So, are you coming to mine and Sam’s party?” He asked, tracing random shapes on the small of your bare back. You copied the shapes he traced on your back and traced them onto his own skin, a small truly happy smile on your lips. You placed a gentle kiss on his chest before shuffling to rest your chin on the same spot.

“Of course, I wouldn't miss it.” You refrained from telling him about the part where you were actually going to help plan said party. He looked down at you, raising his hand to brush some of your tangled hair out of your face. The two of you just stared at each other for a while, admiring one another’s features.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered. He felt your body grow hot, laughing to himself at how he could make you so easily flustered. He kept showering you with compliments just to see you get more and more embarrassed, your cheeks growing even more pink with each and every compliment. You buried your head in his chest, your arms coming around his stomach to hug him tightly.

“Stop.” You whined. His hand moved up to thread in your hair, stroking your head with a small smile. The air changed between you two, leaning up you pressed your lips on his, kissing him with the same passion you’d kissed him with during your first kiss last night.

“Oh, are we doing this again?” He asked. You giggled, nodding your head. You climbed into his lap, straddling him, feeling his hands secure themselves around your thighs.

Harry grew impatient, leaning in to capture your lips in another mind-blowing kiss. Your hands were cupping the back of his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer. 

You heard a sudden knock on your front door, forgetting about the plans you had for today, Harry pulling away from your lips to ask if you wanted to get it. You shook your head, pushing your lips back on his. You giggled when Harry bit your lip teasingly, hearing another loud knock from on your door. You groaned, Harry resting his forehead on yours.

“Do you need to get that?” He asked, just making sure.

“Just ignore it, they’ll go away.” You muttered, relishing in the feeling of Harry’s hands on your body. Your kiss didn’t last much longer, hearing the front door open and the voice of your friend echoe around the flat.

“Y/n, i’m here.” Your eyes widened, glancing at the time and quickly jumping off of your boyfriend to throw on some clothes. You pulled on underwear and a hoodie, noticing Harry wasn’t moving.

“Get dressed.” You whisper yelled, throwing his clothes at him. He furrowed his eyebrows but listened, getting dressed in a haste, not wanting to be caught butt-naked in your bedroom by your unexpected visitor.

“Who is that?” He mouthed. You whispered back a quiet ‘Harrison’ and he furrowed his eyebrows, silently questioning why Harrison was in your flat.

“Y/n?” You heard his footsteps growing closer to your room.

“Shit.” You cursed, beginning to panic. You shoved your boyfriend in your bathroom, apologising profusely as you closed the door. There was a knock on your bedroom door.

“Y/n, can I come in?” He asked. You finished buttoning up your jeans, quickly checking yourself over in the mirror.

“Uh, yeah, come on in.” He opened the door, flashing you a smile.

“Tom’s on his way with Lily, do you want to talk about the plans for the party now or-“ Your eyes widened, not wanting Harry to hear about any of the plans.

“We’ll wait for Tom, but um, do you mind just getting me Lily’s feeding blanket from the nursery.” You asked. “She’ll probably be hungry when she gets here.” He nodded, leaving your room to go next door. You opened the bathroom door, motioning for Harry to come out quietly.

“The plans for the party, huh, what party would that be?” He teased. You slapped his arm, giving him a quick kiss and telling him he needed to leave quietly.

“Am I seeing you tonight?” He asked, sneaking in one final kiss as he checked Harrison wasn’t there. 

“Yeah, come over around 8?” You suggested. He nodded, grinning before sneaking out to the living room. You followed him out, just in case you had to hide him again.

“Hey, y/n?” Your eyes widened, pushing Harry to hide behind your couch where no one could see him. You heard him quietly groan in pain, trying to mask the laugh you wanted to let out.

“Yeah?” Harrison popped his head out of the nursery, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I can’t find it, do you have any idea where it is?” He asked. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the pink blanket sitting on the sofa, quickly pushing it out of sight when he wasn’t looking.

“Try looking in the wardrobe, it might’ve gotten caught up with her clothes.” He nodded, heading back in. You let out a breath, motioning for Harry to go as quickly as he could.

“That hurt.” He pouted. You smiled sheepishly, pecking his lips and pushing him in the direction of the door.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” He kissed your lips one last time before slipping on his shoes and rushing out of your flat. You took a deep breath, grabbing the blanket and calling for Harrison. He came back out of the room empty handed, apologising before noticing the fabric sitting in your hands.

“I am so sorry, it got lost in some clothes I need to put away.” You motioned to the pile of folded clothes on the table, smiling sheepishly. He laughed, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry about it, at least you found it.” You smiled gratefully, feeling slightly bad that you were lying to your friends.

Within the next half an hour Tom had shown up with your baby girl, announcing his presence obnoxiously loudly when he entered the room.

“There’s my angel.” You said, lifting Lily out of Tom’s arms to pepper her face with kisses. She babbled at you, your heart exploding when she tried to reach for you. 

You settled her against your chest, her head resting on your shoulder, the material of your shirt scrunched up in her tiny fist.

“Was she okay?” You asked, watching Tom take Lily’s things out of her pram.

“She was perfect, she cried a little through the night but I got her down again.” He said, smiling at the little baby, who’d moved on to playing with your necklace.

“Make yourself comfortable.” You smiled, motioning to where Harrison was already laying on your couch like it was his own home.

“Thank you, kind sir.” He teased, joining his best friend. You rolled your eyes at them, taking a seat on the singular arm chair, your girl sitting happily in your lap.

“So, we should start with where it’s happening.” Tom said.

It ended up being decided that Nikki and Dom would host the party at the boy’s childhood home. Tom and Paddy were going to help decorate, while you, Lily and Harrison would distract the twins, purely because you two could keep a secret, unlike Tom.

Like children, the two lads managed to get distracted easily, seeing which of the two could punch each other first, which you thought was absolutely ridiculous.

“Is that everything?” You asked, having to snap the two out of their little moment. The two nodded their heads sheepishly under your gaze, the same look they’d received from their own mothers countless times.

They stayed and talked for a while, feeling bad to just leave you by yourself for the rest of the day. However Tom did receive a few texts from his mum, asking what was going on.

“Well we should get going, gotta tell everyone else the plan of action.” You nodded your head, hugging them both. 

For the rest of the day you simply sorted the chores that Harry prevented you from doing by taking up all your time.

When the clock hit eight you prepared yourself for Harry’s arrival.

Not too much longer after that you heard a quiet knock on your door that made you smile, opening it rather quickly to find your boyfriend standing there with bags of junk food in his hands.

“I stopped at the chinese on the way, thought you’d enjoy it.” You grinned, just looking at him in complete adoration.

“I missed you.” You giggled when he pressed his lips all over your face, finally stopping when he reached your lips.

“You saw me this morning.” You said. Harry chose to ignore you, setting the food down on the kitchen island.

“Is she here?” He asked, a wide smile on his face. You rolled your eyes and nodded, leading him to the nursery where Lily was fast asleep. He awed quietly.

“She’s so cute.” He whined.

“She should be, I made her.” You teased. He laughed, shaking his head at you.

“That explains it.” He said, squeezing your cheeks together with an adorable giggle.

The two of you spent the majority of the rest of the night in each other's arms. You ate and then watched countless films, cuddled up under a fluffy blanket on your couch, while Lily was sleeping undisturbed in her room.

He noticed you yawn a few times, prompting him to ask if you were tired.

“Are you tired?” He whispered, affectionately nuzzing your cheek with his adorable nose. You nodded your head, shifting more onto your side so you could cling to him. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” He mumbled, ignoring your pitiful whine when helping you up. 

Harry did it all for you, practically carrying you to your bedroom, helped you get into comfy clothes, tied your hair back, took off your makeup and even helped you brush your teeth when you were too tired. Your heart soared every time he did even the smallest of tasks, feeling like you’d melt into a puddle of adoration for the man when he finally helped you into bed.

“Goodnight y/n.” You smiled lazily, resting your cheek against the soft material of his t-shirt covered back. Your arm came up and wrapped around his waist, so you were spooning him for a change.

“Night Harry.” 

And just like the night before, you slept soundly in his arms.

<<<<>>>>

So on the morning of the 14th, the twins’ birthday and coincidentally valentines day too, you packed up Lily’s things and headed over to the Holland house, knocking gently on the door. Paddy opened it with a smile that only grew when he saw you.

You gave him a quick hug, asking where the twins were. He gave you a quick, unhelpful shrug before immersing himself in playing with your daughter. You could hear the baby squeal loudly as you walked away, calling both of the twins’ names.

“I heard my name.” Sam announced, being taken off guard when you pretty much pounced on him.

“Hey, y/n, good to see you.” You wrapped your arms around Sam, practically suffocating him with your hug.

“Happy birthday.” You said. He laughed in your ear, muttering a thank you before he let go. You opened your mouth to ask him the question he already knew you were going to ask.

“He’s with mum in the living room.” You grinned, nodding your head and practically running off to the living room.

Harry opened his arms to you as soon as he saw your smiley face, letting you sit on his knee to give him a hug.

“Happy birthday.” He thanked you, both of you ignoring the suggestive look from Nikki. The two of you embraced the hug a little bit longer before you finally pulled away first, telling him that he had to come with you.

“Come on.” You laced your fingers in his, pulling him with you to go and find his older brother. You finally found him with Paddy and Lily a few minutes later, explaining to them what you were doing for the day.

“Me and Harrison are taking you both out, so come on, get ready to go.” Sam rolled his eyes at your bossiness, leaving to go and get his shoes. Paddy handed Lily back over to you, quietly whispering he was going to start helping Tom set up.

“You look gorgeous, by the way.” Harry whispered once the youngest Holland was out of sight, checking no one could see before leaning down to kiss you. He quietly told you he’d missed you, and then remembered not to leave Lily out, kissing her chubby cheeks a few times too.

“Harrison should be here any minute.” You explained. He nodded his head, leaving you to slip on some shoes and a jacket. You got Lily ready in her pram, making sure her blanket covered her so she didn’t get cold while out in the winter temperatures.

Harrison arrived and in no time you were all leaving the house. For some reason you’d decided to brace the weather and walk to where you were going to eat, quickly finding out that it wasn’t a very good idea on your parts.

“So, I was thinking, we could go get something to eat,” He suggested, a smirk spreading on his face. “Maybe ditch Haz and Sam, have a romantic meal.” You laughed, rolling your eyes.

“Harry, although it’s your birthday, it’s also Sam’s, and we aren’t ditching him.” You saw him huff and roll his eyes, pouting his bottom lip like a child. The four of you walked until you found a restaurant everyone was happy eating at.

The lads obviously ordered alcohol before anything, disregarding that it was barely even the afternoon. You suppose it was their birthday so you had to let them off, although the same couldn’t be said for the blonde male sitting opposite you.

Harry watched you with heart eyes as you quietly talked to Lily and played with her hands, both of which were holding onto your fingers tightly, the little girl sitting in your lap, trying to grab at everything on the table. Harry jolted upon feeling a sudden harsh pain spreading through his leg, realising his twin had kicked him.

“What was that for, you twat?” He snapped.

“You’re practically drooling.” Harrison said, motioning between you two with his finger.

“Am not.” He mumbled, consciously wiping around his mouth just in case.

For the most part the meal went well. Lily still couldn’t eat solid foods, so unfortunately for her she had to just sit in your lap and behave, which she did perfectly, while everyone else ate. 

Your meal was cut short before you could order any kind of dessert, receiving a text from Nikki to tell you they were ready and to come home.

“Can I carry her?” Harry asked, motioning to the lively girl in your arms. Harrison had generously offered to push the pram for you so you could have a break.

“Of course.” Harry was extra careful when lifting the babe into his arms, kissing her face to hear her laugh.

“She really does love you.” You said, seeing the awe in her gaze as she stared at your boyfriend’s face, admiring his individual features. His heart melted, kissing her head.

“I’m really glad.”

The rest of the way was filled with jokes from the lads, all of which made you laugh until your stomach hurt. 

“Stop.” You whined, feeling Harrison prod your aching stomach teasingly. You still giggled though, despite Harry’s subtle glare at his best friend for touching you. Safe to say he was grumpy for the rest of the walk.

You were back at the Holland house in no time, Harrison taking the lead and heading up to the door first. After you’d all caught up, standing behind him waiting, he pushed open the door, holding his arms out in a ‘voila’ sort of way. The lights flickered on and you were met with ‘happy birthday’ decorations all around.

“Surprise!” You all yelled. Harry and Sam’s eyes widened, happy smiles growing across their faces. Harry was quick to hug you, whispering a thank you in your ear. You would’ve stayed wrapped up in his arms longer if it wasn’t for Lily letting out a loud wail.

“Oh, my baby, the noise must’ve scared her.” You shifted over to her stroller, carefully lifting her out and holding her close to your body.

Harry’s eyes were glued to you, adoring the way your motherly instincts kicked in on the spot.

“Happy birthday, mate.” Tom said, snapping him out of his daze. Harry smiled at his older brother, thanking him while never taking his eyes off you.

“Either tell her how you feel or move on man.” He said, patting his shoulder when he noticed where his gaze was. Harry nodded, flashing his brother a tight lipped smile.

Harry noticed she hadn’t stopped crying, making his way through the people saying happy birthday to him, so he could make it to you.

“She okay?” He asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“I think she’s hungry.” You said, motioning for Harry to get you the pink burping blanket out of your bag.

“I’ll be right back.” You promised.

Right after you said that, Harry was swept away by some of his friends he hadn’t seen in a while, persuading him to have a drink with them.

You came back downstairs after feeding Lily confused, not able to find the curly headed boy anywhere.

At some point, Nikki had taken the angel from you, wanting to show her to a few of her friends. You didn’t protest, wanting to give your arms a break from holding the growing girl.

Later on in the evening you found yourself in the kitchen, alone with Harry. You were just trying to get yourself a drink when his arms wrapped around you.

“Feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.” He whined, pressing a kiss to your cheek, trailing them down your jaw.

“Harry, stop.” You giggled, trying to squirm away from the kisses he was placing on your neck. You heard footsteps heading towards the kitchen, shooing Harry off of you. You’d both agreed to keep your relationship a secret for a while, just until you both knew it was going to go well.

“Get off.” You said. He pushed himself away from you, pretending to busy himself with something in the fridge.

“Just coming to get another drink.” Sam said, eyeing you both out of confusion. You smiled at him, nodding your head, continuing to pour your drink into a glass.

“You two are so weird.” He mumbled, taking his drink and leaving the room. You tried to hold back a giggle but evidently ended up bursting into laughter. Harry joined you moments later, shaking his head.

“That was close.” You scolded, gently hitting his arm. You stayed to talk for a while, enjoying getting to be in each other’s company without other people getting in the way, even if the party was partly for Harry.

He smiled when his mum waltzed into the kitchen, giving her a small side hug and thanking her for putting the party together. Your angel babbled in her arms, making grabby hands towards you that you couldn’t resist, carefully taking her from Nikki’s hold. She informed you about the little nap she took while in her arms, making you smile at your girl.

“Everyone’s looking for you.” She told Harry, motioning out to the garden where people were having fun.

“I’ll go in a minute.” He said. However she wasn’t impressed, giving him a motherly look that told him he had to do what she said.

“Y/n, can I talk to you?” Nikki asked, changing the subject. You nodded, handing Lily over to Harry. You watched him leave with her to go outside, turning back to Nikki expectantly.

She smiled at you, taking your hand and pulling you with her.

You followed her out into the garden where Harry had just left to, admiring the decorations that were still hung in the trees and bushes.

“Are you and Harry together?” Your head whipped around to look at her, a confused smile on your face. 

“Wh-what?” You asked, laughing nervously.

“Please, no one looks at a friend the way you two have been looking at each other tonight.” You blushed, trying to find any possible right answer.

“Well, it’s only been a few days.” You said. She gasped, her eyes widening and her mouth twisting into a large smile. “But please don’t tell anyone, we want to see how it goes.” She nodded, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Of course, I’m so happy for you both.” She asked you a few more questions before letting you go and find your boyfriend. 

“Go get your man.” She teased. You spotted him sitting further down the beautifully decorated garden by himself.

You didn’t go up to him straight away, deciding first to watch Tom, Paddy and Sam gush over Lily as they played with a few of her toys. You were eternally grateful that the Holland’s loved your daughter so much.

“Hey, birthday boy.” You said, approaching him sitting alone. He turned his head, smiling at you and offering you his hand. He pulled you closer to him, letting you sit on one of his legs, his arm around you and his other cradling his beer.

“Why are you all alone?” You asked. “Are you not having fun?” You questioned, scared you’d ruined his birthday with the party.

“No I am, but.” He paused, making you worry more. You leaned into his body further, beginning to push some of his untamed curls out of his face.

“Talk to me.” You whispered, searching his eyes for any kind of emotion. 

“I know it’s my birthday but it's also our first valentines day-“ He said. You mentally awed. “I know it’s soon but I just wanted to spend today with you.” You smiled at him, kissing his head. 

“That’s adorable Harry, but we can always do something tomorrow, it’s okay.” 

You didn’t notice the suspicious glances from Harry’s siblings, watching you both be touchy with each other. When he turned his head and planted a soft kiss on your lips, not realising what he’d done, the brothers freaked out.

“Wait, wait.” Tom yelled, catching your attention, pointing between you both. “Are you two finally-“ 

“Dating?” He said, watching Tom nod. “Yes.” Harry confirmed, not even letting his brother finish.

“About fucking time.” You giggled, watching them all cheer and clap for you both. You turned to Harry with a smile.

“Well, guess the secrets out.” You mumbled. He laughed, nodding his head.

“It was always going to come out.” 

The day of your wedding felt like it was creeping up on you unexpectedly, even if it was still many months away. It still felt like yesterday that Harry was proposing to you in your bedroom in front of your daughter. Part of you couldn’t believe it had already been five months.

You had come home from spending some much needed time with friends at a local pub, to find your flat dark, and from the eerie silence, what you assumed to be empty. Confusion ran through you, Harry didn’t tell you he was taking Lily anywhere so you had expected them to be there when you got back.

“Harry?” you called, hoping to gain some form of an answer from your boyfriend, or even your daughter. You heard little footsteps running down the hall, a sudden flash of brightness lighting the room and taking you off guard as she stretched to turn on the light.

“Hi Lily, where’s your dad?” you asked, bending down to brush some curly hair from her face. She just giggled, taking your hand and pulling you in the direction of your bedroom. You followed her questionably, not having any idea what your menacing daughter was up to.

Gently, she pushed open the door to your room, leaving you to find your love standing there nervously, playing with the strings on his hoodie.

“Is there a pyjama party no one told me about?” you joked, motioning to Harry’s sleep wear and then your daughter’s adorable dumbo pyjamas. Which you could recall being her favourite. 

Harry laughed, shaking his head and taking your hands in his. He placed a greeting kiss on your knuckles, ignoring the noise of disgust that Lily made.

“I actually wanted to talk about something.” Your heart dropped, your mind automatically thinking you’d done something to upset him.

“Did I do something, I’m sorry if-“ he shook his head, squeezing your hands reassuringly.

“You didn’t do anything, you’re perfect.” You tried to ignore the feeling of heat in your body at the compliment, choosing to let Harry’s comment pass and let him continue talking.

“Well, here goes nothing,” he mumbled. You watched with wide eyes as he bent down on one knee, a nervous grin on his face as he glanced at Lily. She gave him a thumbs up, one which made you giggle.

Harry delved into a heartwarming speech about the memories you’d shared together, being best friends and then more. He told you about the time when he knew he was in love, and it turns out it was years before your relationship even became a possibility. 

“I also just, I want to thank you for giving me Lily, and letting me love her like she’s my own.” Tears were streaming down your cheeks at this point, only threatening to do the same to Harry. He finally pulled out the ring box, Lily squealing excitedly from the side.

“Y/N, will you marry me?” he asked, looking at you with those same big brown eyes you’d fallen in love with a long time ago.

“Yes, yes, of course I will.” The ring was slipped onto your finger and you couldn’t help your sudden urge to kiss your new fiance. Your lips molded together with his, Lily trying to pull you both apart so she didn’t have to see that.

The rest of the night after that was spent with the three of you watching disney films in your bed, Harry’s lips basically refusing to leave your head. 

You smiled at the thought, your thumb subconsciously running over the beautiful engagement ring, while your eyes took your time to look at the dress in the mirror. Your nose scrunched up in dislike, already having decided this wasn’t the one for you.

“You okay in there Y/N?” your mum asked. You opened the door, taking her hand to help guide you into the middle of the room without falling over the trail of the dress. You noticed them try to pretend as if they liked it, complimenting random details just to make you happy. Frowning, you shook your head at them. 

“I hate it.” The two women let out relieved sighs and finally gave you their honest opinions. You were close to tears, you didn’t think you were ever going to find the perfect one at this rate, and with some more recent uncontrollable emotions you’d been having, you were all over the place about it.

You finally got to take a moment for yourself when Tom entered the shop with your angel on his hip, her happy smile widening when she saw her mum. 

She almost leaped out of her uncle’s arms, running to you and pretty much demanding that you pick her up. You giggled, cradling her against your chest as she buried her head in your neck. You asked for her opinion on the gown, knowing that the three year old would be brutally honest, which she was. 

“I hate it,” she said, pulling a face that made you crack up. Nikki announced the idea of a break, one that you felt you both needed and deserved after this mess. 

The break was taken up by small talk between the four adults among you, the little girl slowly falling asleep in your arms until she was out completely, almost drooling on your shoulder.

Sadly you had to hand her over to someone else, letting her sleep on Tom’s lap in one of the uncomfortable chairs as you took the dress off.

You ended up being at the dress shop for hours, and you still hadn’t found the right one. The women- and Tom, suggested you go home and then try somewhere else tomorrow, but you insisted on trying one last dress, just in case.

You were staring at how it looked, slightly mesmerized by the flowy, princess like gown draped across your body. Snapping you out of your daze, was a soft knock on the dressing room door, your quiet come in barely being heard through the wood.

“Hey, you seemed to be taking a while, so I came to check on you,” he said. “and I brought you something,” opening the door to the dressing room to let your little monster run in. Your heart swelled, bending down to scoop her up into your arms. You gave her some kisses on her head, letting her back down onto her feet so she could get a better look at your dress, this one she liked much more.

“Hello my gorgeous girl.” The girl’s grin was wide, looking at your dress in awe, “Did you have a good nap?” 

She nodded her head, not even really listening to what you were saying, reaching forward to gently touch the material of your dress.

“You look like a princess.” You smiled at her, bending down to her height. You lifted your hand and placed it on the back of her head, trying to tame her wild bedhead. You thanked her quietly, mumbling something about how she’d also get to look like a princess when the day came. Grinning, she told you she couldn’t wait.

“You look incredible Y/N.” 

Tom’s arms wrapped around you in a brotherly hug, showering you with a few more compliments. Glancing at the time, you knew Harry was meant to be here any minute. You’d all planned on going to a celebratory dinner after you found your dress, and up until now you weren’t sure there was any point.

“Alright, let’s show them,” you said, motioning to the door. Lily took Tom’s large hand, wanting to walk with him back to the main area.

Just as you opened it, you noticed your sneaky fiancé standing in the room. A shocked gasp escaped you and you quickly pulled it shut so he couldn’t notice your dress.

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked, trying to look around you.

“Harry’s here, he can’t see my dress,” you panicked, looking at Tom for some kind of help.

Tom rolled his eyes, shooing you away from the door. He whispered something to Lily, assuming he was using her as part of his plan.

“Are you using my daughter as a distraction?” you asked. Tom grinned nervously and ushered her out of the door, waving goodbye to you without another word. You laughed, shaking your head at the immature man.

“Daddy!” she yelled, running towards the curly haired man standing with his mum and your mum. Harry turned his head, grinning at the little girl. Harry’s heart still fluttered everytime she called him that, just like the first time it happened, right after her first birthday.

Ever since Lily had learned how to say the word no, she’d been using it as much as she could. When you told her something she didn’t like, no. When you asked her to put her toys away, no.

Even if you tried to put her to bed when she didn’t want to, all you’d receive was a stubborn no in response.

You were currently trying to get her off the couch and upstairs, where you’d simply bathe her, change her and then put her in her crib for the night. However that was not what she wanted to do. 

“Come on angel, need to get you ready for bed.” This was already your fourth attempt, but the girl just kept shaking her head and making it impossible for you to pick her up, flailing her limbs around awkwardly.

“Is everything okay in here?” You turned your head to your boyfriend and pouted, explaining the problem and then turning back to the baby expectantly. Lily gazed up at Harry with a lazy smile, you were glad that she still adored him as much as she did when she was first held by him.

You tried again, showing Harry the struggle you were having with her. Her gaze wasn’t even focused on you, but rather over your shoulder at the curly headed man smiling at her.

“No,” she whined, “Daddy.”

Your eyes widened, cheeks growing a deep red as you nervously glanced at Harry. He seemed frozen in his place, staring down at her as she made grabby hands.

She got more and more agitated when Harry didn’t make a move to pick her up, her face scrunching up in distress. “Daddy,” she tried again. A sense of stress in her tone. 

She let out a cry, causing Harry to jump into action. He carefully picked her up, cradling her to his chest. Beginning to rock her in order to calm her dad, shushing her quietly too.

“You’re okay,” he whispered, glancing up at you nervously, “Daddy’s here.” 

You let out a sigh of relief with a grin, happy that she didn’t make him uncomfortable and manage to scare him away.

“Come on, let’s let mummy have a break and i’ll put you to bed.” 

You thanked him silently, watching the two head down the hall. Your heart was still beating faster than normal, and you were unable to remove the grin from your mouth.

When Harry came back he was still utterly shocked at what he’d heard, taking a seat beside you and pulling you into his arms.

“Did that really just happen?” he asked. You nodded your head, burying your face in his chest with a happy laugh.

“Congrats dad.” Harry could feel himself tearing up, unable to wipe the grin from his face due to the utter happiness he felt.

“Hi precious.” He lifted her up onto his hip, kissing her cheek. The two mothers watched him interact with the girl with warm hearts. Even if she wasn’t biologically his, Harry was more than happy to treat her as his own. He’d loved the girl from the second he learned about your pregnancy, and nothing had changed.

“How does mummy look?” he whispered, trying to keep his volume to a minimum so his own mum wouldn’t scold him for trying to get the girl to say anything about the dress.

“She looks beautiful.” 

“Even more beautiful than normal?” he said, a tiny grin on his face. Lily nodded her head rapidly, making Harry laugh and kiss her head. 

Tom explained to his brother that he had to turn around and close his eyes while you showed everyone else the dress. He whined and protested, insisting like a child that it wasn’t fair. Nikki had obviously scolded him, telling him to stop being a baby, which had made Lily giggle.

He knew you’d stepped out when he heard gasps from the two women, he pouted, resting his head against his daughters.

“Oh wow.” Harry felt his heart sink. He wanted nothing more to turn around and gush about how gorgeous you looked along with everyone else.

To tease him even more, you shuffled over and placed a kiss to his cheek, greeting him sweetly, but making sure he could only see your face.

“I want to see you,” he frowned. You giggled quietly, kissing in between his clothed shoulder blades.

“You’ll see me on the day.” He rolled his eyes, throwing his head back to try and catch a glimpse, complaining about how far away it was.

You scoffed at him, quickly covering his eyes with your hands. “Stop peeking.” 

Harry let you keep your hands over his eyes, but turned his head and puckered his lips for you to kiss him. You rolled your eyes, granting his wish. 

“Let me just change and then we can go.” You heard Harry huff, ignoring his complaints and heading back to change into normal clothing. He got the chance to properly greet you with a hug once you were back in the clothes you’d put on that morning.

Your heart was racing as you bought the dress, hearing the two men behind you choking on their own breath at the price, neither one of the lads was aware that a wedding dress could cost anywhere near that much. It wasn’t long before you were ready to leave, slipping your hand into Harry’s while he happily carried your girl on his hip, listening to her innocent rambling.

Once you were in the restaurant and ordering, you got a few confused looks from the rest of the table when you didn’t order any alcohol, choosing to go with water instead. In their heads your mother and Nikki were also thinking about when you rejected the champagne at the dress shop when you’d arrived.

You tried to brush it off, gulping nervously and telling them you just weren’t in the mood. Harry was skeptical, he knew you better than you knew yourself and you seemed really nervous at the slight intrusion, you also hadn’t mentioned feeling off in any way to him.

He made a mental note to ask about it when you got home later, not wanting to bring it up in front of your families just in case.

When you got home that night, both you, Harry and Lily were exhausted. He offered to go and put her to bed, letting you do whatever you needed so you could get in bed.

Even after taking the time to read your angel a quick bedtime story, Harry still ended up in bed before you, ignoring your eye roll at how eager he was to sleep.

“I’m still sad I wasn’t allowed to see your dress,” he whined. You just giggled, pulling back the covers of your bed and climbing in next to him. You laid beside him, the two of you laying in a comfortable silence, just appreciating being near each other. You could tell just from the dazed expression on his face that he was picturing it.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Your heart practically exploded in your chest, turning your head on the pillow so you could admire your fiancé.

“About that,” you winced. Harry’s eyes widened, snapping towards you out of fear. 

“Oh no, do you not-“ you cut him off instantly, shaking your head rapidly at his statement. You felt guilty for worrying him.

“It’s nothing like that, I promise.” His heart was still beating irregularly. You took a deep breath, smiling at him nervously, while blindly searching for his hand to hold.

“I think we need to push the wedding back a little,” you explained. His eyebrows furrowed, cocking his head like a confused puppy. He asked why, happily letting you take his hand in yours. You guided his hand to your stomach, trying to see if he would get the hint. It did take him a few minutes for it to sink in but he eventually gasped in surprise.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked, tears welling in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you cried, giggling to yourself as he practically tackled you in a hug. He let a few tears slip, not even bothering to wipe them away, “I wanted to tell you better than this but, here we are.”

“I had an idea, I noticed you weren’ drinking,'' you rolled your eyes. You hadn’t thought that would’ve been obvious. He shook his head, unable to tear his eyes away from you and your stomach. “I can’t believe it.” He refused to stop pressing kisses to different parts of your face, your laugh echoing around your shared room.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his, smiling softly at him, while watching all the emotions swimming in those brown eyes. “Thank you for giving me the perfect family.”

This pregnancy was even better than your first one. Harry was much more attached this time and he barely ever let his hands leave your belly when he could.

In the beginning you would slap his hands away, telling him to stop so your families wouldn’t suspect anything. He would obviously take offense, just wanting to be close to his love and his growing child. But as it got harder and harder to hide, Harry would give you those puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t say no to.

This pregnancy felt different on some level, even though you had Harry the first time around too, this felt much more personal and you weren’t sure if it was because this time around, the baby was his.

He would often be encouraging Lily to talk to the baby with him, about anything and everything they could think of.

It had become one of Harry’s favourite things to do to talk to the baby. Anytime he could he’d be lifting up your shirts to just below your bra and pressing kisses to different spots on your protruding belly, telling the growing baby a story about his day.

That’s what was currently happening here. You were all ready to go to sleep when Lily had claimed she had a nightmare, tears running down her face, crawling into your bed for some comfort. Harry’s attempt at calming her down was by distracting her with talking to your five month pregnant belly.

He lifted up his old shirt you were wearing, placing a few greeting kisses on your stomach. He got comfortable on his elbows before motioning for Lily to follow, having her lay down on your other side.

“Come on angel, that’s your sibling in there.” Harry had been trying forever to get her to just talk to the baby, but she clearly didn’t grasp the concept of where the baby even was because she couldn’t see them.

“But there’s nothing there,” she pouted, laying her head on your chest. You ran your fingers through her tangled hair, just like your other hand was doing with Harry’s hair.

Lily watched as he began to tell the baby anything that popped into his head, rubbing his thumb over the skin gently. She shuffled down the bed, placing her tiny hand on your belly, trying to mimic her dad’s actions. She started to tell them a random story about her day with her uncle Tom, something about what had happened in the film they’d watched. The whole experience was actually quite soothing to you, giving you a chance to close your eyes and try to fall asleep while your two angels did their thing.

A sudden and slight flinch and your eyes snapping open alerted your fiancé, the man looking at you concerned. 

“They kicked,” you laughed, “I think they like their sisters' voices.” Lily’s eyes widened, letting you guide her hand to where the kick had been. You told her to keep talking, not having to wait long for another energetic kick from your bub.

“See, they like you already,” Harry smiled, nudging her shoulder gently.

“Can we talk to them everyday?” 

When you first told your angel she was over the moon, she was really excited at the idea of having a sibling and it warmed your heart to see. Nothing had changed from when you told her to know, the obvious baby bump being the centre of her constant giddy moods.

It eventually got to the point where there was no way you could hide it from family members any longer, and you had to tell your families about the pregnancy and postponing the wedding.

“So, we have some news,” you announced, gaining everyone around the table's attention. You squeezed Harry’s hand, running your hands over the material of your loose dress and pulling it tight against your belly.

There was a chorus of gasps, a few tears and lots of hugs from your families, hearing congratulations upon congratulations. You couldn’t help but glance at your fiancé while in a hug with his twin. You both sent each other lovesick smiles from the embraces you’d been dragged into, your hearts warm.

It felt like the last few months were over in seconds, and you were definitely going to miss it. The back rubs from Harry, the constant helping you and even the practically never leaving your side, you were surprisingly going to miss that too.

Your water breaking was nowhere near as chaotic as the first time, things were much calmer the second time around. Harry called one of his brothers, you couldn’t be sure which one in the moment, and asked them to meet you at the hospital so they could watch Lily. He then helped you into the car, making sure to give you a break when a contraction would hit, allowing you to squeeze the life out of his hand.

It was incredibly early for Lily, so she seemed to fall asleep as soon as she was settled in her car seat, a soft smile on Harry’s face just looking at her. He was about to be a dad again.

He tried to get there as quick as he could, finding Tom waiting outside in the early morning cold. You gathered that Tom was the brother he’d called earlier, but right now you didn’t really care. He greeted you politely, taking a sleeping Lily from her car seat while Harry helped you inside.

After you were given something for the pain, you seemed more concerned with if your family members were aware of the incoming new arrival, rather than actually being in labour. Something that Harry had to remind you was much more important.

“Did you call or-“ Harry cut you off, brushing some sweaty hair out of your face.

“I sent a text to everyone, okay, stop worrying.” you nodded your head, taking deep breaths to try and ease the pain that was still lingering. Harry didn’t let up playing with your hair, placing the occasional kiss on your hairline and always whispering words of encouragement to get you through.

You didn’t realise how much relief you’d get when the doctor told you it was time, a flood of thanks flowing through you as you were finally able to get this baby out.

This one took longer than the last, your new baby turning out to be a lot more stubborn than Lily was already, but you were eventually greeted with the cries of a newborn echoing around the room.

Harry choked back tears hearing that it was a boy, ignoring your teasing comment about the Holland curse as he got a look at his baby.

The boy was passed to you first, letting you get a good look at him. At first glance, he seemed to be a perfect mix of you and Harry, but when you really took the time to study him, you noticed all the features that were his dads. That button nose of his that you completely adored, those honey brown eyes that you’d spent hours staring into on some days. 

You could feel Harry watching you both from where he resided next to your bed. Snapping a quick picture that you’d be able to look back on whenever you wanted. You ran your hand over your boy's head, kissing his forehead and then glancing up to your fiance.

“He looks like you, he’s so beautiful.”

Harry’s heart swelled, itching to get the chance to hold his new son. Before Lily came in to be introduced to her new little brother, Harry got to cradle him, noting every one of his features to memory. Especially noticing the ones that he believed belonged to you.

“He’s perfect,” he whispered. Your heart fluttered a little, watching how he was so mesmerized with the new life in his arms. He placed gentle kisses on his chubby cheeks, choking up when his tiny hand wrapped around his finger. You let him have his moment, taking this chance for yourself to relax a little bit. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he didn’t even attempt to hide it, allowing you to get an insight on how truly happy he was right now. It felt like the first time he’d held Lily in his arms over three years ago. He remembered the moment where he stayed mesmerised with her for eyes, analysing every little mark on her face that resembled you. That was the day Harry properly fell in love with the tiny angel, and it was happening all over again right now.

You hated to interrupt his moment but you also wanted to let the tired, and probably very bored, girl in the waiting room have the chance to meet her brother. 

“Can you go get Lily, please?” you asked. He nodded slowly, hesitantly handing you the little angel wrapped in blue back. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead, partly thanking you for giving him his angel, well both of his angels, and also silently telling you how proud and amazed he was at what you’d just done.

You talked to your son quietly while Harry was gone, even if it was only for a few minutes and even if he didn’t understand what you were saying. Reaching his little hand up to grab you as if he recognised your voice from all the conversations you’d had with him while you were pregnant.

“There’s someone we want you to meet,” he whispered, guiding her sleepy frame into the hospital room. She seemed hesitant, her lack of sleep leaving her confused. She couldn’t see anyone else in the room but you and her dad.

“Lily, c’mere,” you cooed. Harry lifted her onto the hospital bed beside you, giving her the perfect view of the baby boy. “This is your little brother.”

Harry watched you introduce your new babe to Lily, the girl watching her new baby sibling in awe. She seemed to lose all traces of sleep the second she saw him, becoming completely obsessed with the tiny human in front of her.

It’d definitely taken you both time to get here, to become a family, arguably too long for that matter, but Harry felt like this was right, he felt complete, and he was sure that he now always would.

always taglist - @hopelessly-harry @iwearheadphones @thevelvetseries @minejungwoo @siriuslyslyslytherin @givebuckyhisplumsnow @itstaskeen @icyhollands @starkweasley @hollandcrush @zspideyy @hopeless-romantic-baby

[katie-writes24]

Cursed Blessings - Chpt.2

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x reader

Warnings: Language, angst, suggestive material, misunderstandings and bad researched background of job titles.

Chpt. 1 ~ Chpt.3

Wow, I don't like how I wrote this part at all. But bare with me, I swear we’re getting somewhere...eventually. The plot line is there, it’s just...coming together slowly. I hope yall will continue to read this series, if you could call it that? So yeah, I apologize for the rusty chapter. Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Enjoy!

Three years later

Flying made him nervous. It was just a big box floating in the air, and it was unsettling to think there was nothing but clouds around him. 

The stewardess was shooting him concerning looks as Thomas kept ordering alcohol. He doesn’t blame her, but it wasn’t like he was going to become a loose drunk, especially not when he’s so anxious to get on the ground. 

New York was not his favorite place to be, especially not in the winter. Bustling traffic, tourists looking for a white Christmas, and Thomas was just trying to keep this branch under control. Washington said that they were still new, that the office needed someone who was ‘experienced.’ 

As if the years of keeping his office door shut, retorting quickly, and even making an employee cry was considered “experienced.”

Maybe he’s been a little more preoccupied with work than usual, but it’s been busy. There was a lot to do, always time to work. Call him a workaholic, but you could never call him lazy. Thomas was productive when it came to his job, never one to let anyone else step over how much dedication he put into his work. 

But this is where he’d stay for now at least. His temporary penthouse was near a bar and a coffee shop, which he figured he would be spending a lot of time at both. As soon as he landed, he got a cab and moved his stuff in. Two hours later after a visit to the store, he was on the couch in his pajamas, eating and watching terrible tv dramas. 

And that was pretty much the next two days. New York was just like any other city he’s visited, it was nothing special. He was perfectly fine with lounging around until he needed to go in for work. 

That was until he ran out of his basic necessities, and was forced to throw on pants to go outside. There wasn’t a supermarket far from his place, and given it was late on a Sunday night, it was pretty quiet. 

Thomas roamed the aisles slowly, and thought about how exhausting the next couple of months were going to be. He wasn’t one to volunteer to practically train an entire office floor, neither was he sure that he could do it patiently. Hence he had an enclosed office back in Virginia where he could keep to himself. If the workers back home could barely do their job, surely these people couldn’t either.

Lost in his thoughts, he turned the corner and almost knocked over a small child. His hand automatically reached out to stop her from falling. But she just looked up at him with wide eyes and smiled as if he didn’t almost run her over. Thomas was about to walk around, but she held her hand up, showing off a small rocket.

Thomas slowly took the toy from her, gesturing towards it and shrugging. “Very nice.”

She grinned at his approval, and Thomas didn’t even know if she could understand him. 

There was a loud shout behind him, and before he could turn around-

“Sorry, she just got out of my sight for a second.”

Well, Thomas could recognize that voice anywhere.

Y/N still looked the same, but her hair was a bit shorter now. Those sharp eyes always made him catch his breath. But how she looked at him now, Thomas didn’t know what to think.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

They just stared at each other for what felt like hours. He didn’t mind it, because he didn’t know what he was going to say if he pulled his eyes away. However, there was some babbling and then something hit his leg. Thomas completely forgot about the toddler at his feet.

“Sorry,” Y/N walked around him and picked her up. And he could see it now.

The matching eyes, except hers were much brighter. They have the same mole just below their jaw, and their noses have the same little curve. 

And how could he miss those curls?

His heart caught in his throat.

“She’s pretty fast...I can’t keep up with her sometimes,” Y/N sighs as she avoids his eyes.

“It’s fine…” Thomas can’t take his eyes off her.

“You’re staring?”

He blinked and looked between the two. Clearing his throat, he couldn’t help but point out the obvious. “You have a daughter.”

Perhaps he said it too excitedly, but Y/N looked almost sad. Like she didn’t have a gift, that they didn’t have a gift. Something Thomas only dreamed about when they were together.

“I do...” Y/N brushed her daughter’s hair back. It looked so domestic, so loving, Thomas almost reached out and did the same. 

“What...uh, what’s her nam-”

“Thomas, why are you in New York?” 

Right, Thomas wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to be going to this branch, he wasn’t supposed to fly in on a Friday and he wasn’t supposed to be at the store right now. He shouldn’t be so giddy about this discovery.

“For work. I, uh, I have to visit a new branch in the city tomorrow.” 

She nodded slowly, almost as if she was trying to sense if he was telling the truth. 

“What about you? What are you doing here?”

“I live here.” 

That was understandable; it’s a big city, he knew that she had some friends from college living in the city. Thomas also knew why she would want to get out of Virginia, out of the town. 

“Cora.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Her name...it’s Cora,” Y/N didn’t look at him, instead looking at her daughter like she was the entire world. She now had her head tucked into Y/N’s neck and staring at him with tired eyes.

As Thomas repeated her name, the air seemed to thicken with tension. He had so many questions, he just wanted to know what Y/N was up to now, how this happened, when it happened? But he couldn’t ask in the middle of an aisle at the store. 

“Do you think we could sit down somewhere? Maybe grab a coffee or something?”

“I, uh...I don’t think that’s a good idea, Thomas.” Her grip tightened on her shopping basket as her eyes grew wide.

“Wait, Y/N, please-”

“I gotta go.” And just like that, Thomas lost her again. The only thing remaining was the toy rocket in his hand.

~~~

“You’re back! You won’t believe the shit I just heard.”

Y/N put Cora down and watched her waddle towards the kitchen. She had been crying the whole car ride home; after an entire car search, Y/N couldn’t find her toy and she wasn’t going to go back to the store to see if she left it.

Y/N couldn’t let herself do that.

“Yeah, well you won’t believe what just happened either.”

Closing the door, she followed her daughter inside and set the bags down. She walked in to see her sitting on the counter, a popsicle already in her hand.

“Dude, seriously?” Y/N put a hand to her hip. “I was just about to start dinner.”

“Relax, she’s fine.” A hand swept through her hair as Y/N tried to stop the sticky mess running down Cora’s arm. “As I was saying, do you believe some stuck up southerner is going to sit in as management tomorrow? You believe that? As if he can waltz right in and make some changes. Who does he think he is?”

“I think you’re being a bit dramatic,” The amount of stories that Y/N had heard the last months of idiotic lawyers and disobedient clients were a bit overreacted. 

“Believe me, I would never over exaggerate anything when it comes to my job.”

It made Y/N pause, for a second she even thought Cora could understand how ridiculous it sounded.

“Anyways, there is no way that I’m going to sit back and let him take over,” She was sure that her of course you won’t comment was ignored. “But I don’t know how it will affect my schedule.”

“Don’t stress, I’ll find someone to watch Cora when I’m out.” 

“You know I would but-”

“It’s fine, Alexander.”

The man straightened at her tone, but nodded nevertheless. He moved around the counter to the fridge. “So, what was it you were going to say?”

Right.

“You won’t believe who I just saw…”

Alexander turned, wide eyed and careful to note her far off look. It could have been a list of people; there had been lots of promising moments ever since Y/N came to New York, lots of friends made, lots of sites seen. However, there were also a lot of complications, lots of threatening emails sent, lots of pressure she was under. 

And as her whole mood seemed to stutter into a daze, Alexander could connect the dots easily. 

After all, it was the same look she had months into her pregnancy. Months after she left. Months after she stopped getting phone calls. Months after she stopped caring about him.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!!!

Jefferson Taglist:  @notebookgirl30 @dontblinkumightmiss @checkurwindow @einfachniemand @astralaffairs @daveeddiggsit @ramp-it-up @ohsoverykeri-blog @i-know-i-can @tinywhim

[kondo-hijikata]

My most knowledgeable Kondou knower, can I ask you what makes a Kondou RP blog an actual decent Kondou RP blog? What does it take to get this man on paper correctly? What are your tips (if you'd not mind to share!)

*blush blush* you flatter me. D: I can rattle off some info but it’s important for me to toss out the disclaimer: writing is based on interpretation so if anyone happens to disagree with what I lay out here, please go on with how you want to write and ignore me. Why am I saying that? I know how easy it is to see some random post on writing or characterization and feel demotivated. I’m majorly MAJORLY salty about how modern media snubs him and pushes him aside, so if you’re interested in writing Kondo’s character, I’m already supporting you.

As with any character, it depends on what universe/series you’re writing for but I think all the Kat-chans I’ve encountered can fit into some of the same qualities and share the same historical background.

- He is an ideal samurai through and through. That means he’s loyal to the core of his very soul to the Tokugawa regime and sticks to his convictions. He will die for the shogunate. He will send his soldiers to die for the shogunate. Protecting the Tokugawa is his number one priority.

- He has great pride in being a samurai and honoring what it means to really be one because of his roots. Though his father was well-off, he still hailed from a farming family which was the lowest societal class. Before the Edo era, shogun Toyotomi Hideyoshi banned the ownership of swords and other weapons from anyone who wasn’t a samurai. When you’re living in rural areas though, the government can’t protect you from thieves and the like, so farmers studied kenjutsu to look after their own lands and possessions. Kondo was dedicated in his practice and while his father was away, he (as a teenager) and his brothers stopped thieves from raiding their house. His talents were noticed by Kondo Shusuke from the Shieikan, who was looking for an heir. Shusuke went on to adopt him and therefore taking him from the lowest class to the highest. Amazing, incredible. You’re doing great, sweetie!

- At this point in the Edo era, samurai were said to have become lazy as there were no wars to fight in. Kondo rejected this and was dedicated to being what he believed was the ideal spirit of bushi. He was respectful in how he spoke to superiors and other samurai.

- He went through several name changes throughout his life. He was born as Miyagawa Katsugoro. Upon adoption, he took the name Shimazaki Katsuta. When he succeeded in taking over the Shieikan, he was known as Kondo Isami. Toward the end of his life when the Shinsengumi returned to Edo, he was known by the aliases Okubo Tsuyoshi and Okubo Yamato to protect his identity from Shinsengumi enemies quickly closing in on the east.

- He could be good-natured around his friends and had a sense of humor (yes, I’m talking about the good old fist in the mouth) but don’t mistake this for stupidity or naivety. He was extremely knowledgeable about politics and current events. He could debate and wasn’t intimidated to call out anyone on their bullshit. He had the ear of Matsudaira Katamori and even the shogun at one point.

- He was a born leader with magnetism who was capable of inspiring and commanding the respect of those around him. The first members of the Shinsengumi had sworn loyalty to him as their teacher at the Shieikan and stayed at his side for most of the war. Even after Nagakura split from the group much later citing disapproval of Kondo and Hijikata’s “egos”, he went on to build a grave to honor them.

- Speaking of Hijikata, a lot of media today portrays him as the main decision maker with Kondo as some frivolous figurehead who doesn’t know left from right. Pshhh, no. If Hijikata somehow could know his popularity succeeds Kondo’s in this age, I wager he’d be ridiculously upset. Kondo lived to serve and protect the shogunate as Hijikata lived to serve and protect Kondo. He was instrumental in forming the Shinsengumi and absolutely had say in many things, but that didn’t make Kondo irrelevant or incompetent.

- Kondo was a warrior. He killed his enemies, and a lot of them. I can sit here and romanticize about how he was a nerd as a kid who loved reading or how he practiced calligraphy at night in Kyoto, but it can’t be forgotten that he was a soldier fighting a war. He’d seen some shit. He’d done some shit.

- Let’s talk about the Roshigumi! Hundreds of ronin were rounded up in the east by Kiyokawa Hachiro. They would march to Kyoto to stop anti-Tokugawa forces (lookin at u, Choshu) in their tracks. Upon arriving in the west though, Kiyokawa was like “lmao jk yall. we’re actually opposing Tokugawa and now we all have to walk back to the east and have a battle in Yokohama.” Kondo, ever loyal to Tokugawa, refused. He and his Shieikan men stayed behind and troublesome Serizawa did too since he had no place to go. Serizawa refused to acknowledge Kondo as the leader, so they compromised on having both of them lead. We all know what happened there, Serizawa did a lot of terrible things. Kondo had to clean up his messes and make excuses for his behavior, while trying to make a name for the Roshigumi and gain enough rep to be noticed by Matsudaira. Eventually, he did gain that attention and from there, Matsudaira went on to rely on Kondo’s expertise and his men to keep Choshu down. Like his adoption into the samurai class, this was no easy feat and I’m immensely impressed that he managed to do this.

- HE’S NOT AN OLD MAN. ffs, another thing most modern media would have us believe is that he’s a decade or more older than Hijikata. Kondo was born in November 1834. Hijikata was born in May 1835.

- He was said to be average height (around 5′4/167-ish cm iirc?) with a very athletic build from all the training.

- The last Tokugawa shogun Yoshinobu (*HISS*) and naval commander Katsu Kaishu (*DOUBLE HISS*) expected Kondo and his Shinsengumi to either die off or disband after they fled Kyoto. When he showed up with his men in the east, they didn’t know what to do with them. Katsu then ordered Kondo to change the group name from Shinsengumi to Kouyo-Chinbutai and take Kofu castle where they were severely outnumbered. Basically, he was giving them all a place to die. They’d managed to get some promises of recruits which never showed up, lost the battle, and needed to retreat. The group then settled temporarily in Nagareyama.

- Though there’s no official confirmation, he was executed for a crime he very likely didn’t commit: the assassination of Sakamoto. A member of the Mimawarigumi claimed responsibility for it years later. Sakamoto was a legend in his home of Tosa and people were understandably infuriated at his murder. Kondo was the scapegoat for it. He surrendered himself at Nagareyama to allow the remaining soldiers to escape. Hijikata wanted to surrender himself at the same time so he would die with Kondo, but Kondo insisted he keep carrying their banner and leading the group. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

- His sexuality and relationships are wide open to your interpretation. His marriage to Tsune was arranged, like many were in that time period. He had concubines in Kyoto, Miyuki being the most famous. These are broad statements I’m making here that can’t speak for every person but.... Same sex relationships (marriage/procreation) weren’t accepted because the point of that was to produce children...but same sex relations (physical and emotional connection) among men were rampant. There’s historical evidence from a letter Kondo wrote that he was perfectly aware it was going on in the Shinsengumi. Shinsengumi members went on to say Kondo and Hijikata were two halves of one whole. Again, Nagakura built them a joint grave. You decide. I already have. lmao

- Whether you romantically pair them together or not though, Kondo was the most important person in Hijikata’s life and vice versa. They had an indestructible bond, not even severed by Kondo’s execution. Hijikata fought on to clear Kondo’s name after his death.

WOW THIS GOT LONG......

The tl;dr here is, if I were writing Kondo in rp, these are the qualities I would give him: committed to living his life under bushi code (which has likely been overly romanticized compared to reality but hey), committed to serving the Tokugawa, can be friendly with his closest friends but a little colder with soldiers/others he isn’t close to, knows how to fight, knows politics, knows how to debate and hold his own. Genuinely likeable by nature, has the respect of his followers, has the respect of Matsudaira after proving himself. Has fierce loyalty from his men and even after some leave the group, they won’t let anyone drag his name. Strong-willed and stubborn on political issues he backs. Reflective and thoughtful in down time. Reliable to those who depend on him. Quiet and calculating in groups but absolutely willing to speak up when he disagrees. And never ever ever forgiving of the Satcho coup, or anyone who supports it.

[retvenkos]

anyways i guess i'm a portwell stan now (enemies to lovers/best friends brother/make each other better trope & troy and gabriella parallels my beloved)

and i'm also exasperated at the writers at ricky's path this season. and the writers in general.

i just. want miss jenn and mr mazzara to get together this season and ej and gina to be happy, if that's too much to ask for.

AND WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE SO MANY LOVE TRIANGLES????

nobody wants it, they're not needed- all this season has been about romance, with a few crumbs of musical theatre, and it's not what i signed up for! i want more friendship moments between kourtney and seb, and i want more of the dorky improv games.

let the kids be kids.

the north high rivalry is getting unrealistically annoying. if anything, the theatre community is supportive of each other (i'm in a performing arts school, i should know lmbo)

ricky's parents' divorce plot was completely thrown out the window.

nobody wanted the redlyn angst.

why is carlos being kinda mean?

this whole has season has been a mess, and the only people carrying the show on their backs now is ej, gina, mr. mazzara and howie's rendition of "if i can't love her".

i'm so sorry for vomiting this all over you, i just felt this show is going downhill- kinda like glee.

dfghjdsfghjhgfdsdfghjhgfd,,, i haven't watched glee but i know enough about it to know that was a sick burn, cass. i love it.

and omg,,,,, do i have thoughts™. let's unpack them, shall we?

i agree that this season has been..... a lot™. it’s just a cluster of half-baked plot points that are strung together really losely. i feel like they should have scaled back on some of their ambitions.

namely, the north high rivalry is really bland and unnecessary. the only good things to come out of it is howie, the song around you, and the stunning location (i mean, art deco ogden high? count me in). you could take out the menkies entirely and so little would change to the overall story. i’d argue the story could have been even better without it because.... big shock..... we could focus on the characters.

because, truly, they’re trying to tackle too many things at once. whatever angst is happening with carlos and seb is the worst developed plot point we’ve had to suffer through. carlos says “does chip have any big scenes?” and it’s the catalyst for a fight? then we have them split for spring break and it’s just snippets of them fighting? literally, there’s zero reason for seb and carlos to fight - their dynamic is cute but it’s background chatter when you have whatever the hell is happening with ricky, nini, ej, and gina front and center. there was no reason to make then fight and it doesn’t add to their development, it isn’t well executed, and it isn’t particularly interesting. just let them be happy?

and i feel like that’s such a running theme for all of the side relationships? like you said - redlyn didn’t really need angst? i feel like the whole “career day” arc was well done and was compelling (but maybe that’s just because i had a friend who went through the same thing as red, so i’m sympathetic to it), but whatever went on with antoine and ashlyn was just.... really unnecessary? it didn’t add anything? maybe they’ll be revisiting the plot point, but as it stands right now, it was just really random to add in, and perhaps if i were more invested with north high, i would appreciate it more. but they’re.... so inconsequential.

and now we get to talk about one of my biggest gripes,,,,,,, ricky’s parents’ divorce. listen, i thought it was well developed in season one. it had importance. it affected ricky. it affected the plot. it raised the stakes. now it’s just underdeveloped. we’ve barely seen ricky’s homelife, given the sheer amount of plot points the show is juggling, and since ricky has mainly had negative scenes through the totality of the season, viewers aren’t really interested in seeing how the crumbs of his tumultuous homelife are affecting his behavior (which is kind of important, seeing as it accounts for the degradation of his character). 

ricky is going through a lot this season, and i feel like the main reason why people are so upset with him is because the writers leaned into his sad boi™ status. maybe it’s because the screentime is so divided and the stakes are higher, or because the writers really just got rid of all of ricky’s personality, but ricky has had two personality traits this season - sad clingy boi and bitter, passive aggressive boi. 

now, these personality appeared in season one - quite a lot, actually - but because it was framed  between light hearted moments and exploration of his conflicts, it was palatable and understandable. viewers understood why ricky was so desperately clinging onto the past and resisted change so much. we saw the tempest he was in! we had moments where friends like big red or even gina mentioned it. his reactions had merit because the viewer saw the buildup! 

this season, we have not had that. we see ricky’s dad trying to do his best with moving out, and with trying to move on, and we see ricky’s mom trying to do the same, and this is all strong for them, but when ricky can’t move on, and we see less of the struggle that ricky feels, we become disenchanted. ricky has stagnated, and we see everyone else moving on, and we do not focus on hat influences ricky to stop dead in his tracks. 

what’s worse is that the writers have ricky blow up so much more than last season, when we see less reasoning, and when he mentions how his parent’s divorce is a main reason for his angst, we really have no basis for that - except for what we saw in season 1. season 1 isn’t enough anymore, though, because ricky’s dad has moved on! so has ricky’s mom! 

i’m just scREAMING because ricky’s story is important and it was done well in season 1 and now the writers are losing ricky in the crossfire and pulling out the most degraded, negative traits of his character and running with them.

where is the ricky bowen i love and miss????

and lol, i’ve spoken so much about north high already, but i agree 10000% that it’s just getting out of hand. it’s just so not realistic. the rivalries aren’t like this,,,, someone please make it stop. they north high kids are also just so underdeveloped? the only exception is howie, and we didn’t even know he was a north high kid for half of the show,,,,,, (which, imo, should have been built up much better. kourtney said they never hung out with his friends, but we should have seen that so the mystery was more fulfilling. we should have also gotten hints he was in theatre - maybe kourtney hears him sing beauty and the beast, and she thinks it’s vvv cute, and she asks him he didn’t try out, and howie has to do some mental gymnastics to come up with a decent lie.) 

there’s so much poor or just underdeveloped writing in this season,,,, i’m crying.

even gina (my beloved) is the subject of poor writing because literally what happened between her and ricky? she was so emotionally involved she was about to leave, and then she suddenly decides to stay? and she suddenly just ignores ricky? girl worked through all of that off camera and while it’s not bad per se, it’s just lazy. they just underdeveloped that entire story.

the only one who has really shined this season is ej, and that’s just... really out of left field, but i’m not complaining.

and, i mean, i could talk about my earlier gripes with nini, but i see that they’re making narrative sense, now that the show has progressed a little further. i just wish she had stayed at yac longer, or we had seen more of her, there, so that when she says “she liked who she was [at yac],” we would have more basis for that. and i kinda wish we saw more of her sans boy drama, but i’m sure that’s coming.

and the love triangles,,,,, don’t get me started. rina didn’t have to be angsty or happen at all,,,, they could have just been friends and it would have had the same effect. don’t believe me? they’re friends and they lean on each other, but then nini comes into the picture and ricky just wants to be with nini all the time. he starts to really blow gina off and gina wonders if they were ever friends at all, or if she was just a cardboard cut out that ricky projected nini onto. the angst happens, gina realizes she has friends with carlos, she has that moment with ashlyn that gets fixed, then gina gets close to ej,,,,, literally no difference.

and lol, mr. mazzara. i think he and miss jenn are vvv cute together - definitely my favorite out of the miss jenn romances. i love a good slow burn, so i’m willing to wait for an eternity to have it. i just think they’re neat.