#please i just want to go to my therapist this saturday. please

[linabirb]

MY THROAT HURTS AGAIN AND I HAVENT EVEN EATEN ANYTHING COLD....

[1-800-local-slut]

Hey bestie , I don't know if you've watched steven universe but I wanted to ask if you could please do a garnet inspired reader or pink diamond inspired reader for mark grayson . Imagine fusion happening between mark and reader . A whole new experience especially seeing a fusion dance .

Glowing Rock

Oooooo I love the way you think! Steven Universe used to be my shit fr, I used to watch that show day in day out like it was my job during COVID! I went the Pink Diamond route; I wasn't sure how I could write in a reader like Garnet because of her whole thing going on (I'm trying not to spoil it). Thank you for the request pookie, this is gonna be a short one!

I tried to capture the complexity of Pink Diamond and Greg here, she was very amused by Earth and by Greg as a human so I tried to sprinkle that in here as well :)

Warnings: none, Mark's a bad dancer, Mark is jelly for no reason, Amber mention because she's over hated, Mark has a therapist (he really needs one guys) and he goes Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's for two hours, can you guys tell I love writing yearning?, also the fusion is light skinned and I'm sure y'all know why

Note: I honestly feel like Mark would need a female therapist, he seems to have issues listening to men especially men with authority (Cecil and after his dad he does not trust men with power) and I feel like a woman who reminds him of his mother would help him so well

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

"So, how was your weekend?"

Taking a deep breath, Mark inhaled, and his breath quivered on exhale.

"Painful."

"And why was it painful?" Dr. Dubois asked, looking at Mark with gentle eyes.

"Well. I saw her again. We all went out." Mark rubbed his eyes before he decided to lay back on the couch. His feet went up over the armrest and his head resting on a pillow

"To the club?"

"Yes."

"And what happened at the club that caused you to feel your weekend was painful? Did you get beat up?" Part of therapy was that his therapist knew he was Invincible. Which was great because Mark isn't saving the world, she is. All the times he's felt like quitting, Dr. Dubois was right there to help him remember why he started.

"Not this Saturday, probably gonna happen next week though. But something happened. Well, nothing actually happened but something happened."

"To you?" She coaxed gently. This always happened, when it came to his personal feelings the good Dr. Dubois always had to pull it out of him. Especially regarding girls but the six hundred dollars his mom pays for three sessions a week make it worth it for her.

"To me."

"Why don't you tell me about it?"

Just like that, he was right there back in the club. Recounting the events of his weekend to Dr. Dubois whose gray hair looked like an onion swirled into a bun on her head.

Back in the club he snuck into with his group of friends that you talked them into. The flashing lights, smell of drinks and smoke, and the slimy feeling filling his chest when he recalled everything perfectly.

Watching you tear up the dance floor with Amber was slowly killing him with jealousy. Gnawing through his chest, clawing at his heart and under his skin with no remorse. Mark really didn't need to be jealous. You two were dancing, nothing severe. Rhythmically twirling around one another, like birds in a dance you had known all your lives.

It got worse from there. In sync, you moved with Amber. Like you two had done this time and time again. Like a shared secret only the two of you had and decided the bond between you two didn't need to be secret anymore. Before there was a light different from the flashing lights of the club. And then there was a tall dark skinned black woman with pink curls and dark magenta eyes, dark lips that belonged to Amber and a belly gem that belonged to you. Even your outfits seemed to have equally divided, your white top with Amber's dark green skirt which did little against the height of your fusion, exposing most of your thighs. Mark felt like he just watched his crush and ex-girlfriend (now close friend) make out on the dance floor. The one place he couldn't join.

The dancing didn't stop. She danced alone now, with hair moving freely and laughing to herself. It was as if happiness turned into a person and was dancing around the room. Having conversation with the two women inside who communicated gleefully with one another about how much fun you were having together.

Since you came to Earth, Mark had learned some things about you. You have a giant rock stuck in what would be your belly button if you had one that you pull weapons from and the glows randomly that enables you to transform into different forms.

He learned that you loved cats, you thought babies were so interesting, you loved painting, knitting, you looked so beautiful laughing, you had a few curls that always seemed to escape whatever style you put your hair in, but Mark loved those stray curls. They were free, untamable. Like you. You also had three older sisters but weren't on the best of terms with them right now.

You loved to dance. You don't need to eat, you don't need to sleep, or drink water, or use the bathroom. He's seen you do it, mimic the basic functions of humans. He watched you quickly learn that you have no desire to digest food after giving you a pickle and quickly watching you frown in disgust. And mimicking passing it seemed to upset you further. And while it was funny to explain to you that he doesn't use the bathroom because he enjoys it but because he has too, or he'll get a bladder infection, it killed him to see you uncomfortable your first time using a toilet. Ultimately you just...exist.

But who was Mark to judge, he doesn't need to breath or eat often if he doesn't feel like it. He more so does it out of habit, growing up human and needing breakfast regularly or he'd be hangry by 9:30 AM.

But even though you didn't like eating or drinking anything, you did love everything on Earth. The people, the sights and smell. Above all you loved music. No matter how fast or slow, you loved it. You told him, if you had a heart or soul then music would be ingrained in it. And it showed by your dancing.

"Why didn't you go dance with her?" Dr. Dubois interjected while squinting her eyes. As if Mark didn't ask himself that a thousand times over. Hell, he even talked himself up to it, but the club was closing, and it was time to go.

"I'm not a good dancer." He bit out.

"But you went to a club?" A moment of silence passed, Mark looking at the doctor wondering if she was making a joke from his pain like he so often does. The doctor on the other hand looked slightly proud of herself and let out a laugh at her own joke. Then she cleared her throat.

“I’m sure she would appreciate your efforts.”

Mark thought it over for a moment. The deep amusement you took at him was not at all flattering. And it wasn’t great that you laughed at quite a few of his attempts to be smooth. Since the GDA came across you wandering Earth, everything was amusing to you. As if you were a kid seeing the world for the first time. The world colored your face with wonder every day you were here.

“I don’t want to be laughed at. Anyways, we’re in the club and she looks nice.”

An understatement. Your light pink curls flew free as you danced with Amber, the gem in your stomach shimmered and your white top stuck to your slightly sweaty (he didn’t know you could sweat) brown skin, your bright pink eyes seemed to call him as if to say, “come to me”. Well before you two were fused together. Do you know how bad it hurt when you two didn't separate by the time you left, even staying fused until Amber had to pee once you returned to the dorms, and you refused to use a toilet again? Mark has met hundreds of alien women; he’s never been so down bad in his entire life. And he dated Amber.

“And by the time we left, I felt…weird. Clammy.”

"Do you think she and Amber have something going on?"

"No."

Dr. Dubois gentle eyes urged him to go further.

"Amber has her boyfriend. And you know Amber and I are over, I'm over her by now. I think I'm jealous."

"And why do you think that? What did you have to be jealous over?" She led, urging Mark to put the pieces together or she would do it.

"I am...jealous, because I want to have that connection with her. But I was too scared to do it." And she smiled like Mark just hit the jackpot while Mark frowned deeply at his own feelings. He had no right to be jealous. Do you even understand the concept of jealousy?

“Hmmmm. Mark, I want you to try something. The next time you’re all together, I want you to imagine it’s just the two of you. She looks human. She acts human enough. Try treating her like a normal human girl, instead of treating her as if she’s a glowing space rock.”

"Hm."

Dr. Dubois smiled at him and then flipped a page in her notebook, freckled nose scrunching as she read her handwriting from last Friday's session.

"Now, let's move on. Have you been doing your creative writing?" And he hasn't. So, he rolled over onto his side and turned his back to the question. This much discussing his feelings slightly soured his mood.

"And why not?"

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

Turns out, Mark can get drunk. He never thought to try, he kind of just assumed it wouldn't work. But being half viltrumite didn't turn off the part of his brain that had feelings OR the parts of his brain that were susceptible to drugs and alcohol. Although his body was burning through it fast, rushing to 'heal' him. But he doesn't want to heal. Not now. Not when the seventeen beers he had were helping him dance with you.

Even though he danced a like an unattended fire hose, you didn't care. You didn't give a damn, even goofily mimicking his dance leaving you two to laugh like fools while you danced alone away from the others.

The sunset on the beach bathed your skin in a gorgeous glow, the sand beneath your bare feet barely bothered you while water crashed onto your feet from the tide rolling in, and the white sun dress you wore twisted around you with each movement. The rest of your friends somewhere behind you, and Mark followed you on an impromptu game of tag far down the beach. As your two got further down the beach, he was also leaving his inhibitions behind him. He could still hear the music from speaker and before he knew it you two were in some silly dance together.

You looked...did you even have angels where you came from? You looked like an angel. But in one move, one second it all changed.

You two brushed past each other, gracefully and then you were both gone.

How could Mark even describe this feeling? It was like his brain melted, then expanded with another's feelings in there. He was himself. He was Mark. But he was also you. You, with all your thoughts and feelings. His heart was beating for the both of you. His lungs expanded and shrunk for him and you. You were one and the same. He was Mark Grayson, Invincible, and you were you. You and him, he and you. Together.

In what he thought was a delusion of his lovesick brain, he opened his eyes that he didn't realize he had shut. He looked down at his still feet. His feet and hands that were a light skinned color with nails painted the same baby pink color yours were. The water washed over his feet, but it felt foreign. The sensations weren't the same to him anymore. Nothing felt the same to him anymore.

He was taller as well. Something was...missing. And he was really hoping it wasn't what he thought it was.

"Mark?"

That came from inside his head. You were in his head. And this was no delusion. His own mouth opened and said his own name with a voice that sounded perfectly male and female.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay, Mark?" You, or he, or whatever he should call himself (?) at this point sounded worried.

Was Mark okay? The feeling of pure love, acceptance and understanding in his chest, the quiet in his mind for once, was Mark okay? He felt warm but not from the inside. From his one human heart that was beating for the two of you. Were the overwhelming feelings he felt purely his alone?

"I think so."

Slowly he willed the feet to move but instead fell onto the ass he was sharing. His bottom was never so thick before, so this really was not a dream. Without his command, the right arm went into a pocket and pulled out two phones. One placed on the sand, yours went to open the camera app.

Eyes that weren't yours or Mark's filled the camera. Shorter, very dark pink curls dusted the shared shoulders unlike your long and full head of curls that usually took up more space than your head. Dark brown eyes matched with thick lips and long lashes filled the camera. A strong jaw with round, feminine features that you possessed mixed perfectly with Marks, and the eyes were slanted, another feature from Mark's face.

Was this what your babies would look like all grown up?

"I'm not sure I could carry a human-viltrumite-gem baby. That may destroy me." The thick lips opened in the reflection; a feeling of awe filled the chest you shared. Along with embarrassment.

"I didn't mean to say that outloud."

"You didn't. I hear your thoughts. I feel your feelings." Normally this would be too weird for him. But when your finally one with the woman you love and also half drunk, also suddenly look gender neutral, you have bigger issues to worry about-

"You love me?"

Then his chest felt like velcro being torn off sneakers. The soul you both shared was being forcefully torn in half. You were back, Mark was back and the two of you tumbled onto the sand.

"No!"

"You love me!" The gem-human (he was never fully sure what you were) tackled him in a hug onto the sand.

"I heard it, I heard it in your thoughts! I felt it in here." You whispered excitedly in his ear and placing your hand on his chest over his fast-beating heart.

"No no no, go back. What just happened? What was that?!" Now it was too weird. It lasted about 45 seconds but Mark's brain was his own again and what was missing between his legs was back.

"We fused Mark! And I'm sorry, it was a total accident but Mark! This is great, don't you see?" He pushed back from you and you followed him through the sand on your knees, scooting towards him.

"See what?" He cried in a panic, his own brain working overtime with the thousands of questions he had while he tried to gain enough distance from you to formulate a sentence.

"You love me the way I love you! We can be together!" Everything stopped again, but not because you turned into one person.

"You love me?" The light in your eyes was no longer so intense, and you pushed off your hands and sat down next to Mark, pulling your knees to your chest.

"I do." You nodded, affirmatively.

"And you...you want to be with me?"

"I do!"

Oh. So those feelings weren't his alone.

Waves crashed; the sky darker now as seagulls cawed far away. In the distance he heard your friends laughing around the bonfire. No words were said, but you seemed to understand. You scooted closer to him, head resting on his shoulder. Could you hear how calm his heart now was?

“Soooo do you love me?” You asked, looking up at him with sparkling eyes and a bit of hope nestled deep inside.

"You know I do."

"Maybe I want to hear you say it." A cheeky smile crossed your features, he just noticed that you have another dimple then the one he usually sees. And he's spent hours studying your face. Was this one new? He knows you can change your appearance. But then again, he's never been this close to you.

He remembered the love. The understanding he felt when you two were one in the same. Mark has had multiple girlfriends and has still never felt anything like that. He loved you before, after that feeling he accepted he was screwed. It was over for him. It was over for him, because he knew he'd spend the rest of his life, all thousands of years searching for that feeling. But he could only get that from you. He only wanted that from you.

For once he realized something: you were a human girl in a way. You look human, and Mark was treating you as an object. Unattainable, shiny but he loved you. You have feelings, just as strong as his. You both looked at one another, as if clearly seeing each other for the first time in a long time. He saw you as more than a space girl who he loved and was a little ditzy. You were a person. A person who loves him.

You came to Earth, you wanted to be a human girl. You wanted to be a normal girl. You have normal, human emotions. Who was Mark to deny you reciprocation of a feeling he certainly had for you as well because he perceived you as more?

"I love you."

༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

Mark, sighed but it was a sigh of happiness. For once, he was happy to talk about his feelings. He was thrilled to walk into Dr. Dubois's office. For once his weekend wasn't painful mentally, emotionally, or physically. He felt warm still from seeing you this morning. Turns out you can fuse at other times, as well as mimic some other human parts.

"Mr.Grayson?" He fell out of his memories of cuddling with you and laughing over how scared you got when he described how throwing up felt to you and he promised you he would try not too (although he can't really control it) and was pulled back into his reminder that he was waiting to see his therapist.

"Dr. Dubois will see you now."

Rising to his feet, he began the familiar path to the door he entered regularly. It was late Monday afternoon, and Mark spent the entire weekend as relaxed as he's been in a while. He couldn't stop smiling as he stopped a bank robbery on Sunday.

Another superhero left another therapists office, in their civilian identity while sniffling and the corresponding doctor patting her on the back in an attempt of comfort.

He opened the door, pulling the knob and floating into the office.

“Good morning!”

“Well, you’re in a good mood Mark. It’s good to see you. Have a seat.” She grinned, happy to see one of her younger clients full of joy. It was a rare sight these days.

He found his usual seat, and laid back down. Feet going of the arm rest, head resting on a pillow.

She opened her notebook, clicking her pen and peering at Mark over her round glasses. She could read him like a book, and should be able too considering how much time they spend together.

"Did you try treating her like a normal girl?"

"Uh huh." Mark nodded with an almost cartoonishly wide grin. For the first time in a long time feeling like the weight of his feelings wasn't crushing him. With a proud smile, she rested her chin on her elbow. She wanted to hear about his recent success, not just analyze it.

“So, how was your weekend?”

[sunnys-out]

What Rivalry? | Leah Williamson and Alessia Russo x Reader

A/N: Sorry this is a wee later than I thought, but I played soccer all day Saturday for charity and took Sunday to recover. Also, I'm a bit sad because the English defender I was talking to went back to England to renew her visa and I miss her lol so please enjoy this would make my day.

Based on this request

Warnings: Alcohol, implied smut, MDNI

Word Count: 2087

I had a thing for Arsenal players…Something about not only beating Arsenal in a game but then bedding one of the star English players as a Chelsea player, was something I loved. 

I was a Blue through and through, pops and my older brother played for the Chelsea men and my mum was one of the physical therapists at Chelsea. Being a Blue did not stop me from eyeing Miss Leah Williamson after each and every game we had against Arsenal.

“There she goes again, money on Leah rejecting her this time.” Kerr would elbow Millie as she saw me saunter over and see me place an arm around an already smiling Leah. 

Millie only blew out a breath, “yeah Sammy you already lost before ya even started, look at her…(y/n) got her wrapped around her finger”.

Sam only looked on and saw that my arm had now traveled to hold Leah’s waist as I stood whispering softly in her ear, earning a giggle from the normally stern faced captain.

“Ohhh yeah she’s a goner” Sam said with a laugh as both started back towards the tunnel. 

______________________________________________________________

Leah and I had an arrangement, obviously, and well the first time that I was able to have a taste of Miss Leah Williamson it was after a particularly hard game for Arsenal…made her keep the game jersey on for our first night together. 

Leah Williamson tastes like a good bourbon out with friends, a warm cinnamon candy during the fall, like a sunset, like the colors of autumn…She was addicting and tasted like the colors of the jersey she wore all bunched up above her chest as I took my time with her every single derby game. 

She never stayed, always leaving once I had finished and never returned the favor. Leah wanted some time to just let go of control and I was the one to allow that for her…that was months ago, see it was just an arrangement…that’s all it ever was going to be. It was always going to be something physical and nothing more…the way that I had intended but I found myself falling for Leah…ironically…shortly after I had shut her down when she had confessed to me. 

I remember when I tried to rectify whatever we had after I fucked it up when I had pulled her aside after a USWNT vs. England match.

______________________________________________________________

“Didn’t realize this was an Arsenal/Chelsea match? And bold of you to want to do something in the hallway…didn’t take that as your thing” Leah whispered the last part as she pulled me closer.

I put my hands on hers gently removing them from my jersey.

“No, Leah, I actually wanted to see if you were willing to go get a drink with me and you know actually talk?” Leah’s smile immediately drops at the realization and she takes a step back.

Her raised hand immediately stops me before I could continue,  “You don’t get to do this. I was heartbroken when you shut me down and I was like, "Fine, something physical as long as I can get to keep her around in some way”

She pauses to collect her thoughts and uses her next breath as her eyes grow stern, “But you can’t just shut me down and then realize you felt the same way. I don’t even think you actually have feelings for me…what about me do you like?” 

I shuffle my feet, the sound of my cleats on the hard floors of the hallway. 

“I still remember the first time…I still remember how you tast-” the English captain rolled her eyes and got close.

“You're really going to use what you said to me when you shut me down…it worked when you wanted to keep it physical..you being all poetic about the sex…but to use it when you actually want to prove that you want a relationship with me?” the space between us grew as I frowned.

The words now escaping me and a small, “You’re right, we shouldn’t keep doing this” escaped my mouth…Leah lifted my chin gently with her hand.

“Hey we both wanted it like this initially…so I can’t be mad at you…but you need someone who will want to stay with you even after the fact, take care of you, I don’t know…make you breakfast in bed or whatever… but that can’t be me…I’m sorry”. And with that Leah left the narrative…leaving me to not only sit with the 2-0 loss against England but also losing her completely

______________________________________________________________

Months and Months would pass and continue on…just like Leah did. She found herself with Jordan and well I was happy for her. There was a bit of bitterness in my mouth because I hadn’t found anyone who wanted to stick around in the morning.

Jessie Fleming, being my closest friend on the team, would always be there for my frustrated rants and she’d constantly reassure that there was definitely someone out there that “would put up with me and more”.

Jess’ way of getting me out of a funk was to prevent me from immediately going home after a Derby game. Of course, she would elicit the help of Sammy and Millie in convincing me that a drink with the Arsenal girls would not be such a bad idea.

“Come on, (y/n), ya can’t stay cooped up in your apartment all the time” Millie grabs me by the elbow after I had tried to return to my room.

I huffed as I sat on my couch crossing my arms, “I look ridiculous”.

“I think you look hot, come on, there were some new Arsenal signings so ya got options.” Sam winked as she finished up her pre-game drink.

I roll my eyes “weren’t y’all the ones giving me shit about getting with an Arsenal girl?” my hands going up and shaking “No, (y/n) come on keep the sanctity of the rivalry!” I mocked what had previously been said.

It was their turn to roll their eyes, “What rivalry? All I see is that you need to find someone” Jessie smacks my shoulder.

“Now come on, and don’t worry Leah won’t be there since her whole ACL thing” Millie says now picking me up from the couch  and pushing me out of the door.

______________________________________________________________

Alessia’s POV:

The bar was lively and we all had our own little booth away from the public so that we could all enjoy our time together. This was my first outing with the Arsenal girls since joining the team.

Lotte and Steph had reassured me that it was just a fun time with the girls and that the Chelsea girls didn’t bite. 

“So, who’s coming?” I yelled to McCabe as she downed the last of her first beer of the night.

She looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, “Why? Hoping for someone in particular, Russo?”

“No, just curious” I say while taking a sip of the beer in front of me. Thankfully, the darkness of the bar hid the obvious blush now creeping on my cheeks. I was waiting for someone in particular, (y/n) (l/n)...I’ve had a crush on her even when I was at Manchester United. 

I tried to swap jerseys with her and maybe swapped numbers but she was pretty to herself after games.

Katie seemed to read my thoughts, as a smirk played on her lips.

“Oh I know who…that girl is a tough one and that’s coming from me but she’s a sweet gal” 

Caitlin looked to the entrance of the bar and with a laugh “speaking of sweet gals, look at the who finally arrived. The Blues late as usual”

I look over and see Sam, Millie, Jessie and trailing behind them (y/n). 

“Sorry! Sorry, we had to drag this one out of her apartment” Sam said pushing (y/n) to the front. I, immediately, hid my face in my beer ignoring the dig from McCabe’s elbow into my side. 

I glance up and catch (y/n)’s eye. She had a curious look in her eye that then shifted to annoyance as Sam pushed her in my direction as she sat down next to me. 

(y/n) took her time to say hi to the rest of the girls and I suddenly felt McCabe’s elbow again. 

I realized that (y/n) was looking at me, “Oh sorry was a bit in my own world there”

She laughs a little and shakes her head, “No worries, I don’t mind it…I’m (y/n),  congrats on signing to Arsenal, you played well in your debut by the way, Alessia” 

The way my name sounded in her mouth made me melt into a puddle right then and there and I only snapped out of it once she got closer so as to not yell is what I told myself.

“I’m going to go get something stronger, want to come with or are you going to be nursing that beer the rest of the night?” she said just enough for me to hear.

I honestly think she felt the heat from the blush on my cheeks because a smile appeared on her lips before I even said “yes”.

______________________________________________________________

Alessia followed me and we both remained at the bar and had just a cocktail before she pulled me to the dance floor. 

“Come on it’ll be fun” she said, pulling me towards her as we had a space to ourselves.

I looked at her slightly amused as she hadn’t realized that her hands had found their place at my waist.

“Bold, Russo…you trying to pull me?” I say not trying to break eye contact.

Must have been the alcohol in her system because a laugh escaped her.

“Well yeah hoping to pull the cute girl in front of me?” 

I return the laugh and lean into her, “well I'm not going to stop anything that you may be planning, Russo” 

Alessia, empowered, grabbed me by the chin and kissed me deeply totally forgetting that our respective teammates were watching from the booth across the bar.

Millie patted Sam’s shoulder, “guess, who won the bet Sammy, you owe me dinner” which earned an exaggerated roll of Sam’s eyes as she also slid a bill towards Millie. 

______________________________________________________________

Alessia and I both found ourselves at my apartment later that night, clothes strewn about, both of our phones lighting up with notifications but us ignoring everything and focusing only on the other. 

The taste of Alessia, I knew I would become addicted to, but I didn’t hold my breath because the other side of my bed would be empty come morning…like always. 

I savored the moment and the sounds that she made as she came undone. Like a nice coconut rum, the sunrise in a forest, like a honey candy and as intense as the sun. Leah was right, I’m too poetic for my own good.

The light from my curtains hit my eyes as I lifted myself up…surprising myself when I felt a weight holding down the rest of my sheets. 

There lay Alessia, sleeping soundly, with the sun hitting her hair in a way that created a light shine around her features. A small scrunch on her nose as she felt the movement from me and a light flutter of lashes allowed for her gentle blue eyes to greet me.

“Morning’” she whispered with a slight giggle.

I only nod, not knowing what to say.

“Sorry, I knocked out right after…I did want to return the favor you know” she said shifting closer to me.

I shake my head “nah, it’s ok…” Alessia stops me as she now finds herself on top of me, now filled with an energy in her eyes even though she had just woken up moments ago.

“No, I want to and then I can make you breakfast too…” She said gently lowering herself, taking my lips slowly as she did as she promised. 

______________________________________________________________

Alessia stayed more than that morning, she made an effort to visit me and make me laugh many times after that night. At our first derby game together, she prompted a swapping of jerseys where with her jersey was a crumpled piece of paper neatly written.

“What rivalry? Just want to be able to take you on a proper date. :) Text me when you get home xxx-xxx-xxxx”

Jessie was right, I did find someone, who would put up with me and more and I'm glad it’s Alessia.

[otaku0411]

A GLASS OF WHISKEY PLEASE?

SUMMARY: This takes place in LA, before the movie. You’re a bartender and you two meet and it might become a regular occurrence. *MIXED POV* *18+*

_______________________________________________

It’s another Friday night shift for you. Because of the nice sunny weather and the sports games that’s going on tonight, you have a good chance at making some money. You work a a fine casual dining restaurant as a bartender. The job is enough to be comfortable but not long term. When arriving at work, you greet your coworkers and begin prepping the bar.

Finishing up, you turn the TV to the MLB channel and see that the Dodgers and Yankees were playing. You let it play in the background, not knowing what is to come and soon you started getting customers.

It’s now 9:45 p.m. and the bar is PACKED! Middle aged men watching the game while drinking their beers, and guests conversing among each other. Despite all of the noise and some inconsiderate people, you were holding up well and just trying to make it through the night.

Eventually, you get everyone situated and things started to slow down. You got one more hour til closing and you’re relieved that it’s almost over.

I’m washing the glasses in the sink when I see a man sitting at the bar. I dry my hands off and go to take his order.

“How you doing sir, what can I get you started off with?” I asked him. He look at me and gave me a small smile. I was never one to be nervous around men, especially since being a bartender I dealt with the worse in men, but his aura and demeanor did something to me that even I couldn’t put into words.

“I’m fine, can you start me off with a whiskey meat and some wings please?” He answered, still holding that grin. I nodded “ID please?” He hands me his ID KENJI SATO, never heard of him. I handed his ID back and fixed his drink. Once I gave it to him, I commented, “I wouldn’t expect you to be a whiskey kind of guy.”

His thick eyebrows rise up with my comment. “What do you mean by that.” “I mean you’re a young and seemingly fit person. I would’ve just expected like a tequila or a beer kind of guy is all I’m saying.”

He chuckled at my answer. “If I’m being honest, I do prefer my beers. But after the day I’m having, only whiskey could make me feel better.” He sips on his drink.

“Well if you ever wan to talk about my day. I would be more than happy to hear. After all, a bartender is like part therapist.” I joked at the end. For a minute it look like he was considering it, but ultimately he declined. “No I don’t want to get into it. It’s Friday and everyone should be in a good mood. Plus I don’t like making pretty women upset with my problems.” He smirked as I could feel myself getting flustered. I quickly turned away from him before he could see my face.

I continue to tend to other customers but I glance at him whenever I get the opportunity. He seems to be focused on the TVs. I admire him a little more and see how well kept and attractive he is. His black compression shirt is complimenting his physique and he run through his hair every now and again. Of course, it’s Hollywood and there’s beautiful people everywhere but as corny as it sounds he’s different.

I go back to him to check up on how’s he’s doing and offer another drink. “No thank I’m good. I’m ready for my tab please.” I print out his ticket and he asked “How much is it?” “Just $32 dollars. You just got a drink and appetizer.”

He takes out a fifty and a twenty. “Keep the rest. I had a good time. When you work if you don’t mind me asking?” I was a little taken aback from his questions. I never give out my work schedules because of creeps and stories I hear. However there’s a first time for many.

“Well I obviously work Friday night and Saturday night. If you want to see me, you’ll have to come here every night to see for yourself.” I smirked. Most guys would just say fuck you! But his guy, he smirked back and came forward to in my ears “Challenge accepted.” He whispered. “I’ll see you next week then.” He walked off but before he did, he looked back and gave me a final smile.

By the time he left, it was ready to close. As I’m cleaning up my station, my coworker comes up to me and shrieked. “OMG! YOURE SO LUCKY! YOU GOT TO SERVE KENJI SATO!!” I look at her confused not knowing what the heck she’s talking about. “Yeah, what about him?” I asked. She look at me dumbfounded “KENJI SATO! The baseball who plays for the Dodgers.” She pull up her phone and my mouth dropped when I saw who was on her screen.

How tf can I be so dumb. It all makes sense now. His Jacket, the muscle, his attractive face. I get celebrities and influencers often time, but rarely do I get athletes.Especially now that he’s going to be a regular of mine.

“Well this job just got a lot more interesting.”

_______________________________________________

A/N: HEYY YALL! Thank you so much for reading this story! It’s the first fanfics I’ve written in years😭 So if I make any mistakes, please tell me.

But I’ve been fixated on this man for a week now, which is why I’m writing this story. I hope you enjoy this story.

Also this will be a three part story. I am already halfway done with part two so it’ll be released by tomorrow🌸!

‼️‼️UPDATE: PART TWO IS OUT, ITS PINNED ON MY PAGE‼️‼️

[thatssonanii]

Chapter Eleven

A/N: I'm on a roll, yall! Enjoy! Please remember to ⭐Comment, reblog & share⭐

Warnings: Slight mentions of abortion, cursing, physical violence. TYPOS. 18+ MINORS DNI

Masterlist

Chapter Ten

Saturday had rolled around quicker than Zilla would have liked. His first go round in therapy was mandated, though he did learn a couple things he didn't take much from it. The therapist they paid him with wasn't a good match and they wouldn't let him swap. But this time his therapist was someone chosen by a loved one. While he trusted Kamille's decision he wondered how this therapist would be. She had told him that he could take Moriah but with everything that's transpired between them, he figured it wouldn't be a good idea to take her. 

The suede sofa felt good under him, he rubbed his left hand back and forth on the arm of the sofa. Dr. Barnes sat in the matching chair across from Zilla awaiting the answer to his question. 

“If you don't wanna answer, we can circle back to it at the end of the session, Mr. Fatu.”

At the sound of his name, Zilla's eyes moved from the sofa to his new therapist. 

“Can you ask it again?”

“Sure,” Dr. Barnes chuckled, “What landed you on my sofa?”

Zilla's eyebrows rose for a second. “You want the long answer or the short answer?”

Again, he chuckled. “For the sake of time, since we have a shorter session today you can go ahead and give me the short version.”

“Short version is Pops died when I was little and I just found out I had a kid, they dead too.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your father and your child. Which one would you like to talk about first, Mr. Fatu?”

Zilla scratched his face, chuckling. “You can call me Zilla, man. You ain’t gotta call me mister. But uuuh I guess Angel.”

Dr. Barnes nodded, giving the younger man his undivided attention. “Zilla it is. Angel is your child, I’m assuming. Boy or girl.”

“Boy.”

“How old?”

He rubbed at his nose, deflating against the suede material. “I guess you could say 12 week or sum’ like that.”

Dr. Barnes studied his reaction with a slight brow raise. “Tell me about the circumstances.”

“Uuh, my girlfriend she found she was pregnant after I got locked up and when she was 12 weeks I think, her mom made her,” he paused rubbing his hands together, “She made her get rid of the baby.”

Dr. Barnes wrote a few things down.

“You said that you are just finding out about his passing so no one told you when it happened. How did that make you feel that no one told you?”

He sat quietly for a few minutes then shrugged. “I mean I was pissed at first that they hid it from me.”

“And now?”

“I get it. They weren’t not tellin’ me at first cause they ain’t know how but they were gonna tell me. Then when that bi–that lady did what she did, they felt like it was Fat place to tell me and she was scared to tell me.”

Dr. Barnes wrote a few things then looked up with a smile on his face. “Fat?”

“Oh, Moriah, that’s my lady.” He informed him with a proud smile on his face. “Wanna see her?”

Dr. Barnes chuckled out his response then sat his notepad aside so he could lean up. He took Zilla’s phone, a smile on his face while he studied it for a moment then gave it back. 

“She's beautiful. Who else is in the picture?”

“Thank you. Our niece and my mama,” he said, glancing at the screensaver before putting it away. 

“Have you and your mom talked about the circumstances with Angel?”

“Not really no. Like for a second but nothin past that. I wanted Rye to be involved when we talked and she's finally off today.”

Dr. Barnes smiled. “Today is the day then. How does that feel? From the picture it seems you and your mother have a good relationship.”

His smile was back again. “Yeah, we do. It got better when I got out. I feel kinda nervous.”

“Tell me about that.”

“Cause me and Fat talked to each other about it and I talked to one of my brothers but it's different with our parents. Well my mama and her dad.”

“You think you're gonna hear something that might make you emotional or you think she's gonna tell you something that you and Moriah may not already know?”

“Is both a good answer?”

Dr. Barnes leaned up, resting his arms on his thighs. “There's no right or wrong answer. Whatever answer you give is the answer, Zilla.”

He nodded slowly stroking his chin hair. “Then both.”

“It's okay to feel nervous or apprehensive to talk about something as long as you do it. Going through with it is the focus. Make sure you're open to listening to what your mom says and that you get whatever questions out. If you feel like you might forget, type them up on your phone.”

“Yeah … maybe, man.”

Checking his watch, Dr. Barnes steepled his fingers, pointing his index fingers at Zilla. “You almost made it through your first session. How do you feel about making this a regular meet up? I promise if you're not comfortable, I'm okay with that. You can't heal and grow properly if you're not comfortable.”

Zilla thought for a second, making the commitment of talking about his feelings every other week made him nervous. The question echoed in his head a few times then his mind went to his relationship and his family. 

“I'm coo’ with that.” He answered with a small smile. “We can do that.”

“Great, great. So I'm going to give you a little homework.” Dr. Barnes chuckled at his frown. “You act like I'm about to assign you geometry homework or something. It's something easy and you don't even have to write anything down.”

Zilla laughed a little sitting back up. “My bad. Homework ain't ever been my thang.”

“Mine either,” he chuckled. “Your homework is for you to plan something for you and Moriah to celebrate Angel. Doesn't have to be extravagant unless you want it to be. Just something. Sound good?”

Zilla scrunched his face a little. “Like something fa kids?”

“Whatever you think is appropriate to celebrate you and Moriah's son. Something that you can look back on and always think of him. Okay?”

“Aight, I can do that.”

“I know you can. I’ll see you in two weeks, can't wait to hear about what you planned.”

After therapy, Zilla stopped by a floral shop and a bakery he passed on the way home. He eased into their apartment, sat her gifts on the coffee table then followed her voice to their bathroom. Moriah rapped along to her music as she finished up her skin care routine, Zilla stood in the doorway watching her with a smile on his face. 

“That's yo shit, huh?” He laughed seeing her jump. “How you scary listenin to thug ass music?”

“You're gonna give me a heart attack, Isayah!”

“Naaaah,” he laughed, going to give her a kiss, “You'll be aight.”

Pulling him closer, she kissed him a few more times and hugged him. “Oh whatever. How'd it go?”

“Went good, Auntie picked a good one.”

Moriah clapped excitedly then grabbed one of her moisturizers from the counter. She squeezed a little bit into her hand. “So you're gonna go back then?”

“Yeah, ima go back, Fat.”

“Tell me about it.” She dabbed a bit of the moisturizer onto her fingertips then started to massage it into his face, “Girl or guy? Old or young? Me or them or you?”

He laughed trying to get away from her hands. “Mane, what is you puttin on me?”

“I thought you were losing your thick ass accent but I see it's still there,” she joked. “Moisturizer. Now answer please.”

“I don't need that.” He complained allowing her to continue. “Man, older, you. Aight na, you don't gotta squeeze my cheeks like that.”

She giggled while still doing it. “You squeeze mine and I don't say nothing.”

Grabbing her hips, Zilla pulled her closer to him then slid his hand to her butt and squeezed.

���Cause you like that shit. Duh.”

“Isayah,” she squealed, “Stop that, I'm tryna help you moisturize.”

“I already got my own moisturizer, I don't need that.”

She stared at him. “Boy what moisturizer you got? I have never seen you use moisturizer. I have to put everything on your face.”

“You know what moisturizer I got, Fat.”

“Nope, I don't. Tell me.”

His eyes met hers, glanced down briefly then back up with a smirk on his face. She stared at him for a moment before it hit her. 

“Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

“Nasty for no reason.”

“It ain't for no reason,” he laughed, “It's all to make you happy so say thank you.”

Laughing, Moriah stepped away from him to the sink to wash her hands. Not one to be away from her, Zilla moved to stand behind her, staring at her through the mirror. Her eyes met his for a brief moment making her smile. 

“Zay,” she called out softly. 

He hummed out a response.

“I don't know if you know this but,” she paused to turn the water off and dry her hands, “There's no other place I'd rather be than here with you.”

Her heart swelled watching the tint rise to his cheeks as his smile spread across his face. It wasn't often she was able to make him blush so when she did, she enjoyed it. Pulling her closer once again, Zilla put his face in her neck kissing her there then lifted his head to look at her through the mirror. 

“You sure?” He asked softly. 

“Of course, I am.”

He kissed her face a few times. “I got you something. Come on.”

Moriah allowed him to lead her out to the gifts. Immediately she went to the flowers, inhaling their scent and gently caressing their petals. Zilla quickly snuck a couple of pictures of her.

“They're so pretty, Zay. I love them. You picked them?”

He scrunched his face playfully. “What I get if I say yes?”

She laughed softly looking over at him. “The same thing you'd get if you had help.”

“Mmm then yeah, I did. I did good? I think I remembered all the ones you like.”

She nodded, moving her eyes back to the flowers. “You did. All that time I thought you weren't listening to me but you were.”

“I tell you all the time, even though I wasn't actin like it all the time, you was and is the most important to me, Fat. I listened to everything you said to me.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, girl. I mean it.”

She tilted her head back and puckered her lips at him. He put a hand on her throat, pecking her lips a few times. They held each other's stare for a moment until she stuck her tongue out at him making him laugh. 

“Silly ass, I got you something else. I'm surprised you ain't see it first.”

She frowned a little, turning to look. “Ooooh that's a bakery box. What you get me?”

“Open it and see.”

She eyed him before turning to the box that sat on their coffee table alongside the vase of flowers. She slowly opened it, excitedly wiggling when her eyes landed on the contents. 

“I haven't had good red velvet cake since we left Texas, babe. Wait … is it good?”

He sucked his teeth playfully. “I'm not tryna get cussed out about that damn cake, I wouldn't give it to you if it wasn't, Fat. And I damn sure wouldn't have got you a whole cake if it wasn't.”

She laughed. “I cussed you out one time and you won't let it go.”

He stared at her. “Twice. Both times you went on for a hour and a half.”

“Blah, blah,” she said, picking the box up, carrying it to the kitchen, “You want a piece?”

“No and neither do you.”

“Wait, what?”

He chuckled. “You heard me. You not eatin that right now. Close it up and get back over here.”

She pouted. “But why not?”

“Cause I said so. I know you ain't ate no real food so you not eatin no cake right now.”

The following silence made him chuckle. Quietly, he crossed their apartment to the kitchen. He watched her try to quietly cut a piece. 

“Moriah,” he called out sternly. 

She jumped and pouted. “Just a little piece.”

“What I say?”

Rolling her eyes, Moriah closed the box lying the knife across the top and slid her feet over to him. He kissed her head ignoring her pouting.

“Think you my Daddy,” she mumbled as she walked past him. 

He laughed. “I know I am cause you told me. Get in that room so we can call Mama.”

The couple laid across their bed with Moriah's iPad in front of them waiting for Leata to answer their facetime. Zilla bothered Moriah while they waited. 

“If you lick my face again, I'm gonna bite you.” She warned. 

Zilla paused for a second then laughed as he leaned in to lick up her jaw to her cheek. Grabbing his face, Moriah pulled him closer and bit his cheek just as Leata answered the call. She sat quietly watching them, glad they were in a good place still. Laughing, Zilla pulled away from her grasp and wiped his cheek.

“Don't lick me again, Fatu.” She laughed. 

He leaned forward and licked her lips. “You say I don't listen anyway so.”

“Isayah, stoooop.” She laughed, wiping her lips. “You so annoying.”

“But you love me,” he laughed, leaning over to do it again. 

“Zilla, what are you doin to her?”

“Making her laugh, Mama.”

“No, you're annoying me,” Moriah corrected, laughing. “Tell him to leave me alone, Ma.”

She chuckled softly. “Behave, Zilla. How are you two?”

“I'm aight. How you?”

“I'm good, son. Rye, how are you?”

“Well,” she said bumping Zilla, “I was good till your son started bothering me. And he wouldn't let me have any of the cake that he got me. He's being annoying and mean.”

Leata looked between the two of them. “Why can't she have cake?”

“Cause big head ain't ate real food since last night.”

“Rye, its what,” she paused to look at the time, “Almost 2 and you haven't eaten yet? You need to eat before all that sweet stuff.”

Moriah pouted. “Yes ma'am but only cause you said it and not him.”

Zilla mushed her head playfully. “Either way you ain't gettin it right now.”

“Alright, are yall ready to talk?” She asked stopping them before they could start arguing. They nodded putting their attention back on her. “Okay so where are we starting?”

Moriah nodded for Zilla to go.

“Um when yall found out Fat was pregnant, did you and her people talk without her?”

“We did. We actually spoke a few times. Rye, you don't know this but Hassan knew before you told him. You said you wanted to tell the two of them at the same time but you and I were going to need him as an ally while you told Nadine.” She explained. “When he got in town, I had him come to the house first so I could talk to him. He understood my point of view and he was glad that I had told him prior to. His main concern was the two of you and the baby.”

“Wow … thank you. I didn't even think about that.” Moriah admitted.

“Of course, manamea. While Rye were in school, the three of us got together to discuss the whole situation. It was made clear that no one was to say anything to you until I figured out how to tell you. Surprisingly enough, Nadine agreed to that but knowing what she did that's probably why.”

Zilla nodded, rubbing over his chin hairs. “Anything else?”

Leata thought for a few seconds. “Just that even though the timing of the pregnancy wasn't ideal, Hassan and I were never mad at you two. A little disappointed but we were honest with ourselves,” she chuckled, “We saw it coming from a mile away. We thought it'd be a little later but we knew.”

Moriah and Zilla looked at each other then back at the screen. 

“Knew what, Ma?” She asked with her brow raised. 

“That there was gonna be a pregnancy or a scare at some point in high school. We knew it.”

Zilla scrunched his face up. “We wasn't even datin then.”

Again she chuckled. “You two never put a name to it but yall were. You went on dates, you were always cuddled up on my sofa, in your bedroom with the door closed and locked and sneaking out together.”

The couple laughed softly. 

“We wasn't doin nothin that most of that time. Not till later.”

“Oh trust me, son.” She laughed. “I know when yall started. I just didn't say anything. You didn't wonder why all of a sudden your brothers were giving you condoms and talking to you?”

Zilla laughed thinking back about it while Moriah sat mortified with small giggles escaping her. 

“I'm embarrassed,” she declared. “I told you, Zay.”

He laughed. “You was always scary anyway so I ain't pay you no attention.”

“Any other questions for me?”

Moriah looked to her boyfriend for his response. 

“Uuuh … after Fat told you what happened, what did you do?”

“Well first I went to pray,” she chuckled humorlessly, “Because if I didn't, I knew whatever I would've done would not have been good. I consoled and talked to Rye until she had to go back home afterwards I went to my bedroom and I cried. I called Arthur to tell him, he was livid. I had to keep him from going to see Nadine. And then you ended up calling me, Isayah. You usually never called as late as you did but I remember you saying something was telling you to call me so you did.”

Zilla tried hard to remember that call, he could recall certain parts of the conversation but not all of it. 

She continued on. 

“It was hard to act like everything was okay but I had to because I knew it wasn't my place to tell you. I could assist Rye with it but that was all. Plus telling you while you were in there would not have been good.”

Moriah reached over to wipe the few stray tears from his face. He sniffed a few times. 

“I appreciate y'all for carin enough about me not tell tell me then cause I prolly would've got more time. I woulda caused hell in that place.”

“And that's what we didn't want.” Leata said softly. 

Zilla leaned over, kissing Moriah's cheek then whispered for her to go ahead. She nodded, starting to play with her fingernails. 

“I gotta tell you something else about this whole thing, Ma.”

“I'm listening, Rye. Whatever it is, it's got you nervous. You only do that with your nails when you're nervous.”

She smiled a little, trying to stop clicking her nails. “After everything, I kept asking my mom for information. I wanted to know if she knew the gender and what they did with my baby afterwards. Then finally she told me that she had the gender and she had them cremate the remains. And she said the only way I was getting any of that and my sonograms was under one condition.”

“Which was what?”

Moriah bit her lip, fighting the urge to cry. “I had to get my tubes tied.”

Leata frowned, leaning in a bit closer. “You had to what? Cause I know Nadine did not.”

“I had to get my tubes tied, Ma. I wanted what I had left of my baby so I agreed.”

Leata's face was set in shock on the other side of the facetime. There were so many words that wanted to come out but she was unable to say a thing. Moriah asked Zilla to pass her the baby blue box from his nightstand, when she got it she held it in view for Leata to see. Zilla rubbed soothing circles on her back. 

“She just had him in this ugly carton thing so I used the money that my dad had given me for something else to buy him this. He's gone everywhere with me even college,” she chuckled softly.

Trying to process everything, Leata brought her hands to her face for a moment. She allowed her tears to fall freely as she stared at the screen. 

“He?”

“Yes ma'am,” Moriah tilted it a bit to show where his name was engraved at the top. “I was having a boy. I named him Angel.”

“Oh, Rye. This just makes what she did that much worse. It wasn't enough that she made you abort Angel but then continued to use him to manipulate you and pretty much take away the chance to have another.”

Zilla and Moriah sat quietly listening to her come to terms with everything.

Leata took slow deep breaths. “That is an evil woman that neither of you need to be around. I know that's your mother, Moriah but you have done all you can do. There is no saving grace for her and you will not give her any. Do you hear me?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“I am so sorry that she did that to you, Rye. If I would've known I would've done something to stop it. Does Hassan know?”

“I know, Ma. No, I never told anyone until now so only you, Zay, my mom and me know.”

She nodded. “Well no one will find out from me, that is your business to tell. I um I need to go. I love the two … the three of you so much. Call me or text me if you need me.”

Zilla noticed the look on his mother's face and got concerned. “You good, Mama? You look pale.”

“I'm okay, I'm okay. Just processing. I'm gonna go.”

Without waiting on them to respond, she disconnected the call. Moriah closed her iPad case then rolled onto her side to look at her boyfriend.

“She is not okay.”

“She ain't,” he agreed. He grabbed his phone sending out a quick text, “I told Arthur to go check on her.”

“She looked pissed. I'm pretty sure if not now, in the next few days she's gonna go see my mom.”

Zilla thought then shrugged. “Nadine need her ass whooped anyway. She get what she get.”

Moriah laughed, “You not wrong but Ma do not need to be doing that. We don't want her to get in any trouble.”

He huffed loudly. “You right but Nadine still need her ass whooped. I guess text Auntie Kami too but that would mean you gotta tell her.”

Moriah tapped on her phone, sighing softly. “The good thing about Auntie Kami is I don't need to tell her right now and even though she'll find out in the midst, I can still talk to her about it later and she'll be okay with it.”

Zilla gently pushed Moriah back, making her lie on her back so he could put his head on her chest. She reached one hand down to rub his head while she continued to text. 

“I'm proud of you, Fat.”

“What did I do?”

“Everything. You went through all that plus her basically torturin you till I got out and you stood ya ground. You strong baby.” He praised softly. “You got a good ass heart too. I ain't gon let nobody else play with that shit or you. Zilla got you.”

“And Fat got you. You know I do not play about you.”

He laughed a bit. “Shit, I know. Remember ole girl you beat up at that skate party? Made that girl piss herself.”

Moriah busted out laughing, almost dropping her phone. “I did not.”

“Yeah you did. I remember,” He laughed “I remember cause when you realized it got on your hand, you punched her ass in the mouth.”

“Cause that shit was nasty. If she couldn't hold her bladder she shouldn't have started with you.”

He turned over to look at her, a smile on his face. “I thought you said you ain't do that?”

She stared at him trying not to laugh. “Okay, fine, I did. But in my defense I was only doing what Pops, Ejay, and your cousins taught me to do.”

“They did not tell you to make nobody piss they self, mane. You did that.” He laughed now sitting up.

“They did so. They said make sure whoever I fight is leaking by the end. They never specified what kind of leak.” She shrugged playfully. “Point is, I won, she apologized and never bothered you again.”

He shook his head at her, still laughing. “And that's why I tell people not fuck witchu cause they don't want them problems. And I don't either.”

She swatted at his arm after she put her phone down. “Don't tell people that. They gon think I'm mean.”

He pushed his lips to the side staring at her. “That ain't a secret, Fat. Everybody that know ya ass know you mean as shit. You only nice to your patients, Mama, Hassan, and Toni. And I really don't think you that nice to Toni, I just ain't seen it yet.”

“Aht. I am nice to her. She's not nice to me.”

“Damn,” he called out, “That mean she meaner than you. Yall was meant to be friends.”

Moriah sat up and launched herself at him, he grabbed Angel's box moving it to the nightstand then wrapped his arms around her. He laughed as she landed playful jabs to his torso.

“Since I'm mean, I might as well beat you up then, Fatu.”

“Now you know the only one of us that gets beat up around here is you,” He joked, tickling her sides making her giggle uncontrollably. “Now say sorry.”

“Zay! Zay, stop!” She yelled in between giggles.

He continued his playful assault on her sides through his own laughter. “Say sorry and I stop.”

“Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!” She yelled.

He hummed not stopping. “That ain't enough. Am I your daddy, Fat?”

“Zilla, I gotta pee!” She giggled. 

He laughed still tickling her.  “Then you better answer me. Am I your daddy?”

She fell over giggling. “Yes! You're my Daddy! Stoooop!”

Laughing, he let her go. He watched her jump off the bed and run into the bathroom closing the door behind her. She yelled from behind the door. 

“You get on my nerves, Fatu!” 

He grabbed his ringing phone and put it to his ear. “Love you too, Fat! What's up, Jon?”

“The hell is yall doing? Yelling in my ear.” He asked, talking just as loud. 

Zilla laughed putting the call on speaker. “Nothin, man. What's up?”

“Checkin to make sure yall still coming this weekend. Trin made me call cause she said if her favorite cousin not here I'm gon be in trouble.”

“Ayyye, I'm the favorite. Tell her we gon be there.”

Jon laughed. “She wasn't talkin about you, man. She was talkin about Moriah.”

He sucked his teeth. “Just for that tell her, I'm comin but Fat stayin home.”

Moriah came out of the bathroom and went back to the bed, leaning against Zilla. “I'm not staying home. If I don't go, you don't go.”

“I can go places without you, big head.”

“You can but you can't go visit them without me.”

He looked down at her. “Why I can't?”

She stared back at him. “Jon gon let you live with him?”

Jon laughed, interrupting them. “Damn, she sound just like Trin. Always tryna put us out over a lil jokey joke.”

“Cause yall not funny.” Moriah fired back playfully. “We'll be there, Jon. And I want the same room, Trin told me it was mine.”

“Lil girl, how you just gon claim stuff in my house?” 

“Huh? You said you want me to tell Trin you being mean to me?”

“Maaaan,” he drug out playfully, “Aight fine but you gon tell Sefa why he can't have that room.”

Moriah squealed, “My second favorite Fatu man is gonna be there? Why you didn't tell me before?”

Zilla frowned. “I better be the first favorite.”

She scrunched her face. “Ew, no. Arthur's my first favorite then Sefa.”

“And what number am I?” Jon asked. 

“Uuuuh let's see …. There's Arthur, Sefa, Zilla, Jacob, Ejay, you and then Naio.” 

“Now wait a damn minute,” Jon called out, “I'm number six! Why am I so low on the list? What I do?”

“And why am I number three?”

“Jon, you're never on my side just like Naio so that's what yall get,” she explained quickly, “And you're number three because Arthur spoils me and Sefa always took my side and the both of them always check on me.”

Both men sucked their teeth. 

“Aye, Zay, we gon jump Sefa this weekend. Traitor.”

Zilla laughed. “Hell yeah.”

“But aight then. Text me what snacks and stuff yall want for the weekend so I can add it to the list. Call if yall need anything.”

“Bye number six!” Moriah joked. 

Job sucked his teeth. “Just for that, no snacks for you.”

“Bye, man.” Zilla chuckled, ending their call. “Fat?”

“What, big head?”

“I'm really number 3?”

She nodded, smiling. “Yup but you're my number one Fatu in the non platonic way.”

“I'm the only non platonic Fatu you got.”

She huffed playfully. “Boy, just take the number one spot and hush.”

After her shift, Moriah changed out of her work clothes and into her regular clothes then went to the ED to wait on Toni. She watched the older woman check in a second patient in the last ten minutes. Bronco, Zilla and Moriah had finally convinced Toni to come to a show and see him wrestle. 

“Nurse Bryant, it's fifteen minutes past your shift.” Moriah called out looking at her watch. 

Toni finished up with the patient then turned to her friend. “I couldn't just stop what I was doing, Rye. I'm coming, give me a second.”

“We're gonna be late if you don't come on. We still have to stop by your house to drop off your car and for you to change, go to mine to drop my car off and uber to the show. Bring your butt on.”

The handheld monitor went off again interrupting them. Before Toni could check it, Moriah snatched it and passed it to the nurses relieving her, who had been trying to get it. They had a short conversation then Moriah pulled her friend from behind the nurses station and towards the doors.

“Wait, wait, my purse.” Toni called out trying to go back. 

“It's in my bag, let's go. Cause if I miss my man because of you, me and you are gonna need a ref.”

When the friends got to their cars, Thomas was sitting on the hood of Moriah's car. Toni rolled her eyes and Moriah stayed to dig through her purse. 

“Why are you sitting on her car? Get off.”

Thomas smiled. “Was just waiting on her. No harm done, Toni.”

“Yet you're still sitting on it,” she clocked with a tilt of her head. 

He waved her off putting his focus on Moriah. “Can we talk, Moriah? It won't take but a second.”

“You have until I find what I'm looking for to say whatever it is you wanna say to me and I believe I told you to call me Nurse DeBreaux.”

“I just wanted to tell you that I'll love you and wanna be with you regardless of us being able to have children. We can try and if it doesn't work, we can always adopt. I really want to give us another try, I've matured. I'm not the same person I used to be.”

“Found it,” she announced triumphantly and pulled her pink taser Jacob had given her years ago from her purse. She moved closer to him, putting it near his crutch. “If you ever sit on my car again, call me anything but what I've told you to call me or bring my medical information up again, I won't be the only one who may not have kids. Am I clear?” She pressed the side making it spark for emphasis. 

Toni stood back laughing to herself.

He jumped a little. “Whoa, I'm just tryna make amends. It's bad enough you might not have kids, don't want you to be alone on top of it.”

“Why do you assume I'll be alone, Thomas?”

“Look at all the kids in that family. If you can't give him kids, he's not gonna stay when he finds out.”

Moriah chuckled. “Get the hell off my car, Thomas. You got five seconds.” 

He jumped off the hood, taking a few steps back. “Just think about it, Mo.”

“You are so lucky I got somewhere to be. Stay away from me and I mean that shit.” After he jogged off, Moriah turned her taser off and threw it back in her purse. She passed Toni her own purse. “I'll follow you to your house. We gotta hurry.”

Forty five minutes later, the friends made it to NXT Arena at Full Sail University. They walked around the backstage area looking for their other halves.

“Haven't you been here before?” Toni asked, looking around. 

“Yeah twice but both times he was with me. Let's just ask somebody.” Moriah looked around then spotted what looked like a friendly face. She approached the woman, tapping her shoulder. “Sorry to bother you but we're kinda lost.”

She smiled looking at the two of them. “Well I hope I can help. I'm literally like two almost three weeks in. What are yall looking for?”

“Catering. We're supposed to meet someone there.”

“Now that I can find. Follow me,” she laughed, starting to head in that direction with them. “I'm Gia, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you. I'm Moriah and this is Toni.” Toni gave a polite smile and wave when Gia looked over at her. “What do you do here, Gia?”

“Journalist but in basic terms, I do backstage interviews.”

“Sounds cool. And you don't have to get all sweaty and thrown around so that's good.” Moriah joked, ignoring Toni’s mimicking. 

“That's the best part,” Gia agreed, stopping in front of catering, “Do you see who you're looking for?”

Moriah and Toni looked around for a few seconds. Toni nudged her friend's arm and pointed. 

“I see them over there.”

“Where?” Moriah asked, frowning. 

Toni pointed, “Right there. Left corner. I know you see Bronco's tall ass and Zilla.”

Gia's ears perked up at the mention. “I see them. Come on, I'll walk yall.”

“Uuh, we got it but thank you, Gia.” Toni frowned.

Gia laughed it off. “No worries plus I hadn't had a chance to speak to them today. They're always on the move.”

Gia walked in front of them, leaving the two friend's to exchange looks before following her. Moriah mumbled under her breath a bit. 

“Oh my gosh, Zilla! Look who I found wandering around,” she announced putting a hand on his arm.

Moriah didn't miss the grimace on his face as he looked in Gia's direction. He moved her hand then noticed Moriah and Toni. Bronco rolled his eyes accepting Toni's hug. He whispered to her that Gia got on his nerves. Zilla smiled widely at Moriah going to hug her. 

“What's up, Fat? What's up, Toni?”

“You didn't tell me your sister and her friend was coming, Zilla. I could've met them at the gate for you since you and Bronco had them wandering around.”

Toni laughed under her breath looking up at Bronco, who rolled his eyes again. 

“Sister? Do me and him look alike to you?” Moriah asked, confused. 

Gia laughed, clasping her hands in front of her body. “I'm sorry, I was assuming. Cousin then?”

Zilla pulled Moriah into his side, placing a kiss to her temple. “She not my cousin. This my lady, mane. And we got them. We good, Gia.”

“Oooh this is your girlfriend? He really loves you, girl. Every time I talk to him, he mentions you.”

“I wonder why,” Toni mumbled. 

Moriah smiled looking between them. “Good to know, Gia.”

Gia patted his chest a few times then let her hand linger there. “He's a tough cookie to crack but I think I'm wearing him down. We're gonna be friends. And don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him for you. These girls around here can be a bit much.”

Before Zilla could, Moriah pushed her hand off of him.

“Yeah I can see that about the girls,” Moriah sassed tilting her head. “Just a little thing to keep in mind about him … he doesn't like to be touched by people he don't know like that and I don't either.”

“Noted, girl. I'll make sure they keep their hands off of my friend.” Gia smiled at Zilla and Bronco then moved to hug Moriah and Toni. “Enjoy the show. Ooh come find me afterwards, we can go get drinks.”

Moriah turned to stare at her boyfriend, who held his hands up. 

“Fat, I ain't do shit. She can't take a hint.” 

Bronco nodded. “He ain't lying. He literally gives her no indication that it's okay for her to even talk to him and she still do it.”

Moriah folded her arms. “She better learn how to take a hint or she gon have a problem that she don't want. Talking about some damn sister or cousin. She knew I wasn't either one of those.”

“She did,” Toni agreed, “She was trying to be messy.”

“And had the nerve to put her hands all on him like I'm not standing here. She lucky I ain't break her damn hand.”

Toni clapped her hands. “Girl, seriously. She was trying you. Being all bold like, I can imagine what she does when you're not here.”

Moriah groaned inwardly. “And she better hope I don't ever find out cause I will beat her ass and then ima beat his ass.”

“And then ima beat Bronco's ass,” Toni added.

“Wait, I moved her hand just like I do any other time and tell her to stop. Why I'm gettin my ass beat?” Zilla asked. 

“Ion even like that girl and I tell her to leave him alone. I shouldn't be gettin my ass beat.” Bronco stressed. 

“Just so yall know we not nothing to play with,” Toni explained with finality. 

Moriah nodded. “That part.”

“Listen, me and Bronco not worried about that girl. We dodge her ass and whenever she do catch us, we keep it short. Right, B?”

Bronco nodded. “Right.”

“It better stay that way too. I don't mind beating her ass, Isayah.”

Zilla nodded her face then her lips, holding her body against his. “I know you don't. Don't worry about her, she ain't important.”

“Mmhm.”

“Oh! Rye almost tased Thomas’s nuts off.” Toni announced with a chuckle. 

Zilla looked at Toni then his girlfriend. “Not that it matter but why?”

“He was sitting his ass on my damn car and was tryna talk to me about being together,” she explained, “Then I told him if he ever sat on my car or brought what he brought up again, I wouldn't be the only one with fertility issues.”

“Good job, sis.” Bronco praised excitedly. “But next time do it. Teach his ass.”

Toni hit his arm, chastising him.

“You know when he work next?”

“Why?” She asked, staring at him. 

“Do you know, Fat?”

She nodded slowly. “Yeah, Thursday same time as me.”

“Aight, yall go head to your seats. We'll send somebody to get yall before the show over.” He pulled her closer, kissing her slowly. “I love you, fat head.”

She laughed softly. “Love you more, Fatu. See you later, Bronco.”

Bronco hugged and kissed Toni then smiled at Moriah. “Aight, sis. Yall cheer loud for me and my boy.”

The men watched their girlfriends leave catering before turning to one another. Bronco's smile widened with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

“What time I need to be ready Thursday?”

Fortunately for Nadine, Kamille was able to detour Leata for a couple of days. Knowing her sister's work schedule, she invited Nadine to her house Wednesday afternoon for a snack and to talk. Kamille left the detail about Leata coming out to ensure her sister came. 

Leata and Kamille had been sitting in her living room since Arthur dropped her off thirty minutes prior. The two waited on Nadine's arrival. 

“Which one of your babies was that, that dropped you off?”

“Arthur, my oldest. And he was not happy that I wouldn't let him stay.” She chuckled. 

Kamille laughed. “Yeah, he didn't look happy. Rye told me that he's the only brother that knows so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that he's on the list of people that aren't happy with my sister.”

“He's definitely on that list. I don't blame him … just thinking about it makes me so angry. She was 15 years old, a baby.”

“I've been giving her shit about the way she's been with Moriah for years and she tells me the same thing every time. That she can do what she wants with her child.”

Leata rolled her eyes. “Same crap she's said to me.”

The door opening and closing momentarily ended their conversation. Nadine called out for her sister then followed her voice to the living room. Her smile slowly dropped into a frown as she went to sit on the love seat. 

“You didn't tell me there would be a third wheel, little sister.”

Kamille smiled. “Seems like you were the last one here so you're the third wheel, big sister. How are you?”

“I'm well. How are you? Hello, Leata.”

“Same, Nadine.” Kamille answered, nudging Leata.

“Hi, Nadine.” She greeted stiffly.

Nadine hummed at her. “How is your son treating my baby?”

“You would know if she were still talking to you,” Leata chuckled, “He's treating her the way he's always treated her, like a queen.”

“Queen of what? The hood?”

Kamille jumped in to stop them. “Nadine, cut it out. Don't get sassy because you know she's right.”

“Kami, why am I here? I've been working all day and I am too tired for this.”

Girl,” Kamille scoffed, “You worked two hours today, you not tired. Anyway Leata wanted to talk to you and I am here to facilitate. Don't be your usual asshole self either.”

Nadine rested her elbow on the arm rest, moving her attention from her little sister to Leata. “What would you like to talk about, Leata? What can I do for you?”

Leata counted backwards from ten in her head before responding. “I'm just gonna jump right in, I don't have the patience to beat around the bush. You made Moriah get her tubes tied?”

“Yup.” She answered popping the ‘p’. “Anything else?”

“Anything…. Anything else? Are you kidding me? You don't see anything wrong with making a 15 year old girl get her tubes tied? She was a baby, Nadine.”

She smiled at her former friend. “No, I don't see anything wrong with making hard decisions for my child. She was a baby that didn't need to be having babies so I made sure she wouldn't.”

“Birth control was an option, Nadine.”

“Wasn't gonna do what I needed to be done.”

“What if she never able to have kids again? Does that even make you feel a little bad?”

She shook her head, a slight smile on her face. “Knowing that she'll never have a child with that child of yours brings me joy and a sense of accomplishment. And if I'm as lucky as I think I am, he'll break up with her.”

“Nadine, what is your got damn problem with me and my kids? You went from being one of my best friends to my enemy.” Leata yelled while sitting up on the sofa. 

“You and your kids are just like that husband of yours.” Nadine yelled standing from the love seat. “I didn't realize it until after his ass killed over.”

Leata stood as well, pointing her finger in Nadine's direction. “You better be careful with the next words that come out of your mouth.”

“Hmm well let me take a second to think about what I wanna say about you, your husband and your kids.” Nadine paused dramatically. “Your husband always had his ass in my family's business, in my husband's ear about this and about that. Thought it was just him but you and your damn kids are the same way. You took your husband's spot in my husband's ear and your kids are in my daughter's ears.”

“Hassan and Moriah know how to make their own choices! We did not make them do anything they didn't wanna do, Nadine!”

Nadine rolled her eyes. “Oh sure. They just happened to make these stupid decisions after talking to one of you Fatus.”

“Oh please, Nadine. I'm glad you think so highly of us that we have that much control but sorry to tell you it's complete bullshit.”

“I'm not my daughter or my husband, I'm not falling for that.” She chuckled. “As bad I felt when your husband died, I was glad cause I thought I was finally getting control back of my family. But then the manipulation and interference didn't stop.”

Kamille stood at that. “Nadine, you're going too far. Stop that.”

“Oh I'm just getting started,” she spat, laughing. “I don't think I'll have to wait that long to get control back and have my baby come home to me. That child of yours is following in his father's footsteps literally so it won't be too long before he joins him. Now that's a funeral I would pay good money to sit front row at.”

Leata's right arm reared back then forward with as much force as she could muster connecting with Nadine's left cheek. There was so much force behind her slap, Nadine lost her balance and hit the floor. She held her cheek, opening and closing her mouth trying to check her jaw. Kamille stepped in front of Leata. Pushing her back gently trying to calm her. 

“That was the last time you will ever talk about my kids or my husband! If you ever talk about them again like that it'll be your funeral we're sitting front row for!”

Slowly, Nadine pushed herself up onto the love seat. She heard Leata but the pain in her face and jaw kept her from responding. There was a slight ringing in her ear as well that wouldn't go away.

“Breathe, friend. Breathe. I got her, you go call Arthur.”

Leata glared at her old friend as she left the living room, mumbling to herself. Kamille stared at her big sister wondering how the sister she used to look up to turned into this person. They were fifteen years apart but at 38, Kamille felt like she had much more sense than the 53 year old sitting in front of her today. 

“Why would you say that to her? You can't really feel that way, Nadine.”

Nadine winced a bit when she opened her mouth. “You know I don't say things that I don't mean.”

“I don't know that but I do know if you say things to hurt people to get the upper hand. You wished death on her kid. That's not right.”

She chuckled. “What's not right is her family breaking up mine.”

“Their family didn't do a damn thing but love you, Hassan and Moriah. Although it's clear that they wasted their love on you. You and you alone broke up your family.”

“If I didn't know any better I'd swear you were drinking the Kool-Aid too.” Nadine smirked as best she could. “So tell me which Fatu are you sleeping with? Hmm let me guess … Jacob. He was always fond of you.”

Kamille frowned at her big sister. “Me and Jacob are friends, basically family like the rest of them and you know that. You just say anything to avoid accepting fault. Mama didn't raise us like that.”

“How would you know? I was damn near grown when you were born. You don't know shit about how I was raised.”

Kamille sucked her teeth, “I know enough to know that she raised us both the same way. You need to stop this before you get to a point where it can't be fixed.”

“I don't need to do anything but call the police.”

“For what, Nadine?”

“I'm pressing charges. She assaulted me and you witnessed it.”

Kamille shook her head. 

“You are absolutely not. If you call them, I'm calling Mama and telling her what you did to Moriah and what you just said to Leata. And I know no matter how old and bitter you are, you do not wanna deal with a pissed off Trenice Parker. Do you?”

Nadine stared at her sister for a few moments then huffed loudly. “Go get me a ice pack, don't just stand there.”

Knowing how her son felt, Leata waited until they got back to her house to tell her how the meet up had gone. He then spent thirty minutes going off about Nadine and debating on going back to Kamille's to finish what his mother had started. 

“You know you gotta tell Zay and Rye, right.”

She shook her head. “No, they've already got a lot going on. I'll tell them just not right now.”

“Mama, they need to know now. Especially Rye. This not nothing to keep to ourselves.” Arthur stressed kneeling in front of her while she sat on the sofa. “She better hope I don't see her in public.”

“That right there is why I don't wanna say anything. Your brother is gonna react that same way.”

“And he should, Mama. Her bitter ass wished him dead. You don't say stuff like that.”

She closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. “Okay fine but this is gonna hurt Moriah.”

“Whether you tell her now or later, it's gonna hurt her, Mama.”

Begrudgingly, she facetimed Zilla. A part of her hoped he didn't answer so she had more time. Her hopes were dashed when she saw his smiling face and heard Moriah's voice in the background. 

“Aye! Stop hitiin’ me, Mama on the phone and ima tell!” He laughed. “Mama, tell this girl to keep her hand to herself.”

Arthur moved to sit beside Leata, putting his face in the frame. 

“What did you do to her, son?”

“I … ow, your lil hands hurt, mane. She offered me cake and now she mad cause I ate it.”

“Nah uhn! I offered him a piece yesterday and he ate another piece today!” Moriah yelled.

“He sorry,” Arthur suggested, “Right, Zay?”

Zilla frowned a bit, pulling Moriah into a loose headlock. “Uhuh, right. My bad, Fat. What yall got going on?”

Arthur put his attention on Leata, silently urging here to go on. 

“I wanted to tell you two that I went to Kamille's to talk to Nadine. And it didn't go well.”

Zilla moved him and Moriah to their sofa to sit down. Moriah got comfortable against his chest. 

“What happened?” Zilla asked, looking between his mom and brother. 

Leata looked at Arthur then back at the screen. “It didn't last long, I'll say that. We got into a spat, she said some ugly things and it escalated.”

“What did she say?” Moriah asked softly. 

“I asked her about what she made you do and she said she was proud of it and felt accomplished.”

It was heartbreaking to see the residual joy leave Moriah's eyes. Zilla pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Leata waited for her to respond, when Moriah didn't she continued. 

“She also said some things about your father and your brothers but mostly you. Things escalated,” she sighed, “I'm not proud of it but it ended in me slapping her.”

Zilla's brows raised. 

“What she say? Had to be bad for you to do that.”

Arthur realized she wasn't going to be able to say it so he stepped in. “She wished death on you, Zay then Mama slapped her.”

Moriah sat up immediately, pushing herself off the sofa but Zilla held onto her waist with one hand. 

“Fat, sit down. Come ‘ere, man.”

She shook her head, roughly pulling herself from his grasp. “No, I can't. I can't.”

Leata spoke up. “Let her go, Zilla.”

He huffed watching her walk off to their bedroom. “The hell I do to her for her to say that?”

“I'm telling you that you did nothing to deserve having someone say that about you, Isayah. You could tell that woman to have a good day and she would swear you cursed her. You hear me?”

He nodded starting at the closed bedroom door. “I hear you, Mama.”

“Isayah,” Arthur called out, getting his brother's attention, “Mama told yall that so yall would know what that lady got going on not to cause a setback between the two of you.”

He nodded again. 

“Go do what you need to do.”

Zilla disconnected the call as he got up from the sofa. He went to listen at the bedroom door for a moment before going in. Moriah laid with her face in her pillow, crying softly. Going to her side of the bed, Zilla kneeled there and rubbed her back. 

“You meltin again, Fat?”

She shook her head, not lifting it from the pillow, followed by a muffled ‘no’. He smiled a little, nudging her over so he could see her face. 

“It look like you meltin’, baby.”

“Just a little,” she said softly. 

“You don't gotta melt over that. Zilla ain't goin nowhere, Zilla gon stay right here with you to get on your nerves.”

She nodded, sniffling softly. “Promise?”

“Zilla promise. What can I do to make my lady stop meltin?”

“A kiss maybe.”

He chuckled, leaning up to kiss her. “Better?”

“Mmmm … maybe one more.”

He kissed her again. “Now?”

She shrugged. “I kinda feel better. A snuggle would probably make it all the way better.”

“Whenever you ask me to snuggle, you end up tryna do more than snuggle, Fat.” He pointed out getting up from the floor and climbing into the bed behind her. She moved her body back, closer to him. “See? You already startin’.”

She laughed softly. “Just getting comfy. Plus ever since Zilla threw his condoms away, he hasn't wanted to snuggle with me anyway.”

He laughed in her ear. “We both been tired as shit, Fat. My bad.”

“You never cared about me bein tired before.”

“That's cause I wasn't tired.” He kissed her neck a few times. “I promise to snuggle with you next time. Aight?”

“Pinky promise?” Moriah proposed as she lifted her pinky up.

He linked his pinky with hers. 

Since they were leaving for Tampa as soon as Moriah's shift ended, Zilla dropped her off at work Thursday morning. She had long forgotten about Zilla's inquiry into Thomas’s work schedule so she didn't question him taking her to work or warn him to not do anything bad. Moriah liking to be thirty minutes early to her shift worked out in his and Bronco's favor seeing as the friends made it to the parking deck minutes before he did. Unbeknownst to him, he parked his Audi between Bronco's truck and Zilla's challenger. When he stepped out of his car, Zilla was standing at the back of his car startling him. 

“What's wrong? Why you so jumpy, mane?” Zilla laughed. 

Bronco crept up behind him, slamming the driver side door for him. “He act like he seen a ghost or sum.”

Thomas jumped again looking between both men. 

“There are cameras in here.”

Zilla looked up at the cameras, smiling even wider. “You mean them right there? I wouldn't count on them workin.”

“Naaah they definitely outta order, my guy. Kinda like yo ass,” Bronco added with a chuckle. 

“What do you want? I need to get to work.”

Zilla moved closer to him grabbing his collar to shove him against Bronco's truck.

“Wait, why he not hemmed up against his own car?” Bronco asked, frowning. 

Zilla ignored his friend, maintaining eye contact with Thomas. “Moriah told me yo ass still botherin’ her and if it's one thing I can't stand is somebody that don't understand no especially when my lady say it. She asked you one too many times to leave her alone so now I gotta step in.”

Thomas struggled to get out of his grasp but his strength was nothing compared to Zilla's. “It's not that serious. We were just having a conversation.”

“A conversation that she told you she ain't want which mean she said no to your ass.” He spat, pressing his forearm into Thomas’s throat. “This the one and only warnin you get from me. The next time you see me or my boy it won't be to talk.”

Bronco stepped forward and leaned down so they were sure level. “And if you don't keep this lil meeting between us, you'll see us sooner than that. Comprende?”

“Sis! I been missing you!” 

As soon as Moriah and Zilla stepped inside the house, Trinity ran to them engulfing Moriah in a tight, bear hug rocking them from side to side. Jon and Zilla watched them with frowns on their faces. 

Jon hit his cousin's arm. “Uce! I missed you!” The two of them hugged mocking their women. 

Trinity sucked her teeth. “This why you number six. Get on my nerves.”

“They just jealous cause nobody ever misses them.” Moriah rolled her eyes playfully. “Everybody else here or we early?”

“Yall late as hell.” Jon fussed loudly. “Should've took off like uce told you to. Lucky I ain't give ya room away.”

Moriah laid her head on Trinity’s shoulder. “My favorite cousin wouldn't let you do that.”

“And won't. Everybody in the backyard, come on.”

Trinity pulled Moriah along with her while Jon and Zilla followed behind. They talked softly and briefly with each other until they got to the patio. Moriah scanned the backyard, squealing when she spotted Jacob and another cousin on the grill. She ran to jump on his back. 

“Jacob! I missed you!”

Laughing, Jacob sat the spatula he was using down and backed away from the grill. “Damn, girl, I missed you too. You almost took us both out.”

She got down, laughing and fixing her shorts. “I haven't seen you in so long. I missed my buddy. I don't have nobody to get on Zay's nerves with.”

“Shit, we got all weekend to make up for lost time, sis.”

“Yall asses is not about to get on my nerves all weekend unless her big head ass wanna get left here with you,” Zilla declared approaching them. He slapped hands with both of his cousins. “Fat, you remember Josh. Right?”

She nodded, moving to hug him. He barely returned the hug but she didn't notice. “Hey Josh. Of course I remember. He's the twin that's not annoying, the good twin.”

Josh nodded his head at her, mumbling out a greeting then turned back to the grill. Jacob noticed how their cousin acted but realized Moriah and Zilla didn't. 

“Aye, sis, there go Sefa. Better get to em before mean ass do.”

Zilla frowned playfully. “I'm mean ass? You know her ass meaner than me.”

Moriah stuck her tongue then ran over to Sefa, jumping on him the way she'd jumped on Jacob. Zilla let his cousins know he'd be back after he spoke to Sefa. Turning back to the grill, Jacob nudged his cousin. 

“What's up with you?”

“Nun man, I'm cool.”

Jacob started to flip the burgers. “I would believe that if you don't just give that girl the cold shoulder.”

Josh shrugged, focusing on the chicken. “Ion like her. I ain't think he'd stay with her this long.”

“You don't like her? Moriah? Moriah that's been around since they was kids?” Jacob asked with his face screwed up. “Why you ain't like her?”

Josh looked over at Moriah with his family, his lips turning up at the sight of them being happy and friendly with her. “She ain't right for uce. He deserve better.”

“Better than Moriah? She the best thing that ever happened to his mean ass.”

“That's what yall think.”

Jacob scratched his head looking over at his family then back at Josh. “Ion know man. You gon have to explain that one to me later on. But word of advice, chill on the attitude with her, that boy ain't right in the head when it come to her. He protect her heavy.”

Josh waved him off. “We'll see.”

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 27

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. Please read the TW below and only read on if you feel comfortable doing so.

Potential Trigger Warnings: mentions of violence, rape, therapy, depression

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The following week, I quickly fall back into a steady rhythm exhausting myself so I can sleep at night without nightmares or at least get back to sleep after them. I work in the cafe in the morning, go to classes or study in the afternoons and do shows at night, and then on weekends it’s shows in both the afternoon and evenings with quick cram sessions in between and work when I can. The days blur together as I throw myself into the routine. But amidst the chaos, Jensen remains a constant presence. He calls or texts every day, his messages sweet and thoughtful, brightening even the hardest of days and giving me the support I need to keep pushing through the exhaustion and stress. I find myself looking forward to each message or call, my heart fluttering every time his name pops up on my phone screen. Even in the midst my busy schedule and the demands of daily life, Jensen manages to carve out a space in my thoughts and heart.

One particularly hectic day after an almost sleepless night, as I rush between a long boring class and the theater for the night’s show, my phone buzzes.

Hey, hope you're hanging in there. Just wanted to remind you to take a deep breath And know that I'm here cheering you on no matter what. You got this.

Tears prick at the corner of my eyes as I read his words, feeling an overwhelming wave of gratitude and affection wash over me in place of the stress and exhaustion. In that moment, it feels like Jensen's unwavering support is the anchor keeping me steady in the storm of my busy life. I can feel myself falling fast despite the distance and yearning to see him again.

I text back.

I’m getting thereStill having nightmares now that I’m back home aloneBut I’m so tired…

You thought about a therapist? You’ve been through a lot

Yeah…Can’t afford it right nowMoney or time wise

I can pay Make time Your mental health is important My friend and co-star here says it helps He’s been struggling too

I’m sorry to hear thatI hope he’s okBut I’ll manage

At least think about it Please I care about you

His name pops up across my screen as I try to think of a response. I sigh and answer.

“I get it, you care about me and my mental health. I’ll consider it.”

“Thank you. That’s all I wanted. Have a good show tonight.”

“Hey, wait! I’m stuck on the subway for at least another 15 minutes. Are you busy?”

“We had a dawn shoot, so finished early. I’m done for the night. How are you really?”

“Right now, while I’m out and distracted, I’m okay. At night, in that apartment alone, not so much.”

“You’re not staying with Stella?”

“She’s already got Anna. And my apartment is closer to work and college and the subway. I’ll go back there on the weekend. I just have to do the open Saturday then I have Sunday off,” I explain.

“You could call me…When you get nightmares and can’t sleep. I can just stay on the line, we don’t even need to talk. Just so you know you’re not alone.”

“You have work and responsibilities too…I can’t keep you up. You’re a movie star, you need your beauty sleep.”

“My character never sleeps more than a few hours at a time anyway, it’ll actually give my makeup artist less work.”

“Jens, Babe, I…Thanks. I’ll consider it,” I quickly finish my sentence hoping he doesn’t dwell or think too much about what I called him.

“You have to at least stick to your promise…”

“I will.”

The rest of my night progresses as expected, the show is great like every other night and the subway ride is uneventful. I use the time to work on an assessment. Then during the walk from the stop back to my apartment I call Jensen, making good on my promise that I won’t walk up to my room alone, at least until we know that the monster has been kicked out. We talk about the show and his day, just lighthearted, easy small talk until I round the corner and see my building. I stop mid sentence and hide on the other side of the building at the corner, hoping the familiar man didn’t spot me as quickly as I did him. 

Jensen is quick to ask what’s wrong. I can hear the concern in his voice. I can’t find the words to explain anything and I’m too scared to make a sound anyway in case he’s come closer. Silent tears slide down my cheeks. 

“Is it him?” I don’t answer. “Alright, Baby, it’s okay, you don’t have to talk. Just press any key if I’m right.” I press the keypad. “Okay. I’m gonna stay right here with you, okay. Did he see you? Press a key if yes.” I don’t know how to answer. I don’t know and I don’t want to check. I feel my legs giving out from the fear. “Alright, is there a shop or building that you can go into? Or can you get back to the subway? I’m texting Stella now, okay, Baby. Nick’s going to come find you. If you can, just share your location with me.”

I look around for anything that’s open this late. Most buildings are dark, this isn’t the part of New York that never sleeps. I’m too far from the city center. I force myself to start walking in the opposite direction, just trying to put some distance between us. My legs tremble with each step as the tears continue to fall. Then I duck into an alley and collapse on the ground in the shadows. I lean against a dumpster, I already feel dirty from the whole situation so l can’t find it in myself to care. I send Jensen a link to track my location.

“That’s good, I’m gonna send that to Stella. Nick will find you.”

I finally manage to whisper, “he shouldn’t be there. Anna and I filed restraining orders.”

“That’s good. That means you can call the cops and report him. They can take him away.”

“He’s probably mad, I shouldn’t have…he lives there too.”

“No, Darlin’, we’re not going there. This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. He doesn’t belong there, he belongs in a cell.” He sighs loudly. “I wanna book a flight back. You shouldn’t-“

“Nick’ll be here soon. I’m okay. Can you just…Just stay on-“

“Of course, Darlin’. I’m right here. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

“Thanks…”

“Anytime. But after this, I really want us to revisit that conversation from earlier.”

“Jens-“

“No, Y/N, we get you safely to your friend’s house and then we talk about you going to therapy. I think Anna should go as well, but she’s not my girlfr-shit-just please...”

“Alright. Alright. We’ll talk about it.”

“Thank you.”

We stay on the line silently, the only sound is each other’s breaths. After a few minutes Nick’s car pulls up in front of the alley. He looks around cautiously as he gets out and makes his way over to me. I slowly push myself up off the ground.

Once Nick’s close he says, “Come on. Let’s go,”

I follow him to the car, he opens the passenger door for me and closes the door behind me before going around to the driver’s side.

“Jens, Nick’s here. I’m safe now. Can I-Can I call you later?”

“I’m glad to hear that. I’ll be here. Anytime.”

I hang up as Nick starts the engine. He briefly looks me over before pulling on to the street and turning around so we won’t go past my building. “I came past on the way here, it’s definitely him. Stell has already called the police on your behalf, but I still think you should stay with us tonight.” I nod, not sure what I could add, so he continues, “I’ve got a friend in private security, he’s gonna talk to your body corporate and try to make a deal to station someone there in response to all this. We just want you to be safe in your home, but also Anna’s been slowly opening up to Stell and we don’t want this monster to hurt anyone else. With both of your statements and this infraction you’d hope it would be enough to lock him up for good, but until we know for sure…”

I nod again. “Thanks, Nick. I’m sorry for disturbing your work…again and getting in the middle of your newly wed life.”

“I know I was harsh on you before, and I apologize for that. But regardless, this is entirely different. None of this is your fault. I spend most nights trying to stop drunk girls from leaving with guys who have similar red flags, I know the type too well, and I don’t want you anywhere near him.” He briefly glances over at me as we wait at a red light. “On the other hand though…Jensen…he seems like a good guy.”

“Yeah…or he’s an exceptional actor.”

“In my experience, guys don’t give up sleep for just anyone, unless it’s for sex. But also, he seemed so genuinely concerned for your safety. Stella made me watch an episode with her the other night, and yeah he’s a good actor. But all this with you…I don’t think that’s an act, but that’s just my two cents worth.”

“Thanks.”

As soon as he pulls up in front of their house Stella runs over to the car and pulls my door open. I fall into her arms and finally let out all the emotions I’d been holding in. She guides me over to the porch so Nick can go back to work. We sit there in each other’s arms until I finally stop crying. 

She pulls back slightly and wipes my cheeks. “You need to get out of this city for a while.”

“I can’t…and what message does that send Anna. She dealt with him for m-months. I only had a few minutes…“

“Yeah, but he’s not the first…you and I both know this isn’t just about Todd. It’s what Ty did too, isn't it?”

“He never-that-I…”

“I don’t wanna make things harder for you. But I think it’s time you talk to someone about it all.”

“You’re the second person that’s told me that tonight…”

“Jensen?”

“Yeah…and I think I should. I really like him, but I can’t be with him until I’ve dealt with all this.”

“Yeah, you won’t be able to fully trust or love him until you work through your past. And it’s not fair on him either. But don’t cut him out while you’re working on it. My advice?”

“Always.”

“Be as honest and open with him as you can and then tell him you’re going to get help. And that you would appreciate his support while you’re getting there. And that maybe after all this you can talk about the two of you.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll look into therapists and try to find a way to fit it into my schedule. Then I’ll also talk to Jens.”

She nudges me, “Awww! Jens? You’re so cute. I really hope you two work out. When you’re ready.”

I blush and let out a teary giggle, feeling a little better, thanks to her support. “We’ll see…he’s a great guy and I know he likes me. He almost slipped tonight and almost called me his girlfriend. But you’re right, I’m not ready for that. But I want to be.”

“You will be.”

I nod and we both slowly push ourselves up off the porch. She hugs me again and then we both go inside.

I take a quick shower in her ensuite and she lets me borrow a hoodie and some sweats to sleep in since I didn’t get to bring anything with me. Before settling in for the night on the couch, I quickly text Jensen to let him know I’m safe at Stella’s house and am going to sleep and will call him when I can.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never, @deansimpalababy,

@winchesterwild78, @kr804573, @chriszgirl92, @smoothdogsgirl

@speakinvain, @deans-baby-momma, @1967winchesterimpala

@lmg14, @superrey, @kamisobsessed

[papurgaatika]

Knead Me, Need You

Pairing: Massage Therapist! Joel Miller x F! Reader

Summary: you were overworked, overstressed, and long overdue to get a massage. You just didn’t realize that getting one would come with a very good-looking massage therapist or the thoughts that filled your mind every time he touched you Tags: no outbreak AU, massage therapist! Joel, no reader desc. Gentle Joel, dirty thoughts, Joel is a tease, the reader is pent up as HELL, mentions of fingering, no actual sex, LOTS of sexual tension, pet names (darlin’ and sweetheart are used), Appreciation for Joel's arms, 18+ Word count: 2.7k

A/N: I very desperately need to get a massage and woke up from a dream about it so there’s that!! Also a huge lovely shoutout and thank you to my wonderful beta readers (@joelsdagger @carlynkurin and my lovely Laur) who have saved me from making the weirdest grammar mistakes and also fuel me with comments such as “IM (S)CREAMING” yall are real ones xoxo

Remember that TLOU is created by a zionist so please look at the resources at the end of this fic and in my bio on ways to donate and educate yourself!! 🇵🇸

You hate your job. Okay, that wasn’t true. You don't hate your job, you just hate the commute. And sitting at your desk all day. And the fact that you always decide that heels look better with your outfits. So you didn't really hate your job, you loved being in charge, but your back was paying the price for it. Everyone in your life has heard you complain about your back hurting at least once. Some of your coworkers had found you with a stash of the stick-on heating patches in your desk and that led to the office pitching in to get you a certificate to one of the nicest spas in the area for your birthday. 

You weren’t sure if you would use it, you barely had time to sit down and fully wash your face. How were you supposed to relax for a full hour and a half with some stranger touching you? The answer came to you one Saturday when you rolled out of bed and could barely stand because of a crick in your lower back. A groan falls from your lips before you throw yourself back onto your bed and grab your phone, making quick work of dialing the number on the back of the voucher. You let out a sigh of relief when the receptionist tells you they have availability later in the afternoon, and you tell her you’d take the appointment. You’re just about to hang up before her voice comes through your speaker again “Oh, and just to let you know, your therapist will be male, is that okay?” 

You freeze for a second. On one hand, you didn’t love the idea of some random man touching you, especially considering it was a full-body massage. But on the other hand, you really didn't have a choice, your back was going to give out if you waited any longer. You mumbled out a quick “That’s fine, thank you!” before hanging up and making your way up to change your clothes. You decide to opt for something more casual, before grabbing your keys and wallet and heading out of the house. 

This place was fancy. Like much fancier than you had expected and suddenly your outfit felt too casual and you missed your heels. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you filled out the forms they gave you. No, you haven’t had a massage before, yes you wanted to focus specifically on your back, and you weren’t sure how much pressure you wanted. You hand the clipboard back to the receptionist with a smile and she lets you know that he’s just about finished with his last client and he’ll come back for you in just a few minutes. Your knee is bouncing of its own accord, nerves finally kicking in. You are about to be naked in front of a man who is then going to rub his hands into you. Taking a deep breath, you remind yourself that it’s his job. He does this all day, five days a week. You keep reminding yourself that it’s just a massage, you’ll be okay. You finally start to believe that, nerves dissipating and your heart settling back to its resting rate, and then you see him. 

He’s all broad shoulders and a kind smile walking out to the main area, before turning in your direction, and your mind blanks for a minute to fully take in how attractive this man is. His arms were gorgeous and you couldn’t take your eyes off of them. His t-shirt was pulled tightly over his bicep, riding up just enough to let you see a peek of skin that was untouched from the Texas sun. His arms were thick, the muscles defined and prominent, veins standing out against the smooth skin. You were enraptured watching his arms move as he signed off on some papers and grabbed the clipboard with your forms on it. Images of his thick fingers in unspeakable positions flooded your mind; tugging at your hair while his other hand was on your hip, dragging over your lips and pushing them into your mouth, letting them curl into your aching cunt while he holds you down. 

You were lost in your thoughts until his voice was saying your name and pulling you out of your depravity. You smile at him shyly and stand up to shake his hand “I’m Joel, and I'll be your masseuse for today, it’s a pleasure to meet you darlin’.” if you thought that he was attractive before, hearing that accent made you weak in the knees. The slow drawl of his words was smooth like honey and sent butterflies straight to your core. He takes the paperwork from the receptionist and gives it a quick scan before tutting at you lightly. “Overworkin’ yourself? Don’t worry, I'll take good care of you today.” You feel your face start to heat up as you follow him back through the halls into his room. You stepped inside to be met with a dim warm light, and soft music playing through a speaker. 

“So is this your first time coming in for a massage?” he asks, half leaning against the door. 

“Is it that obvious?” you half laugh, heat rising in the back of your neck. You bit the inside of your cheek, eyes locked on his. He laughed softly with a shake of his head and you think you might die on the spot. It’s so unfortunate that he’s so hot. 

“No, darlin’ it said it on one of those forms they had you fill out, I just wanted to go over how it all works with you.” you nod and look up at the man, waiting for him to go on, “I know it said you wanted to focus on your back, do you mind goin’ a little bit into why?” 

You sigh and press a hand into your lower back, “So I sit at work a lot, and granted my posture isn’t great, but I woke up this morning and it was worse than it had ever been” You tell him about your job, about being overworked, about your stupid half hour commute. He keeps his eyes locked on yours, only dropping to flick over your waist for a moment, and then back onto yours. 

He lets you explain where exactly you were hurting before he glances at his watch and lets you know that you should get started sooner rather than later. “Just go ahead and get dressed down to your comfort level and then just lay down with your face in the cradle sweetheart. I’ll knock before coming back in and then we can get started.” You smile and give him a nod, taking a deep breath once the door shuts after him. You make haste to strip down and fold your clothes leaving them in a little pile on a shelf, leaving your panties on much too aware of the wetness that was pooling into them. You grab your phone and lay down on the table, scrolling through your email and replying to a few new ones from your coworkers, knowing fully well that they can barely get things done without you. 

A knock on the door breaks you out of your thoughts and you let out a small noise of acknowledgment that you were ready, slightly hesitant. You watch as Joel opens the door and steps in, eyes immediately flicking to your phone. “Can’t have that out darlin’, this is your time to relax” he says gently, grabbing your phone and setting it down on the shelf next to your clothes. “I’m sure work can wait.'' He shoots you a wink and your face feels flushed. You let your face fall into the cradle, eyes shutting before you feel his hands grazing your body over the sheet slowly. He’s barely touching you, his touch is feather-light, so why do you feel like your body is on fire? His fingers make small circles on your scalp as his thumbs press gently into the base of your neck. Your eyelids flutter softly, the pressure he was applying immediately melting away your stress. His fingers work on your neck, not pressing too hard but not so soft that it wouldn’t help at all. You feel him work in the same place for a few minutes to get rid of a knot, likely from staring down at your phone or hunching over your computer all day, before he takes his hands away. 

“Alright sweetheart I'm gonna move the sheet and start on your back, if that’s alright,” you nod into the face rest, letting out a deep breath when his hands hit your skin. You figured his hands would be as strong as the rest of him looks but he was surprisingly gentle and warm. The smell of roses and sandalwood fills your nose as his hands press softly between your shoulder blades. You let out a soft sigh when his fingers dig into your skin “That pressure alright darlin’?”

You manage to mumble out a weak “yes” and let your eyes fall shut again. You don't know why he’s doing this to you, why this man is making you all hot and bothered while he just does his job, but he is. His hands feel like heaven on your lower back, fingers creating circles to try and get a particularly nasty knot out right above your tailbone. A sound leaves your mouth, a little too close to a whimper for your liking and you feel the blood rush to your face but Joel doesn’t even mention it. 

“You're real tense sweetheart, it’s a wonder you didn't have to come in before today” he mutters as his fingers work their way back up your spine. A trail of goosebumps follows after his touch as your back almost arches into his hands. Almost. You catch yourself at the last moment, sparing yourself from what would be the most embarrassing experience of your life and would also likely get you banned from the spa, which would truly be painful because lord, did Joel know how to use his hands on you. His fingers were soft yet somehow held just the right amount of strength in them to work your pain away, the way the heels of his palms would dig into your skin when he focused on a specific area, he was just too good at this and it was making you a little bit crazy. 

Your eyes were still shut, your body more relaxed than it had ever been when you heard him tell you to flip over so he could work on your legs. In your half-asleep state, you seem to have forgotten that moving too fast will not only make your head spin but will also make the sheet covering you drop. You managed to catch it and pull it over your chest, eyes wide and staring at him. “Oh my god I'm so sorry-” you start but he cuts you off with a shake of his head before clearing his throat. 

“‘s alright sweetheart” his eyes flick down to where you were clutching the sheet. Your breasts were spilling out of the top almost obscenely, a small sheen of sweat from the warmth of the table (and his hands) covering your skin. “Just lay back down, ‘m gonna work on those legs now.” He turns to grab the oil again, and you weren’t certain because of the dim lighting in the room, but you could have sworn there was a light blush dusting his cheeks. You lay down with your head in the rest, still clutching the sheet at your chest before he takes it out of your hands and brings it over your chest fully, leaving just your collarbone and neck exposed. He moves to a corner before picking up a bolster to put under your knees to prop them up slightly. 

You let your eyes fall shut as you feel his hands skim your calf. You bite back a gasp when his hands, god his hands are huge, encompass your ankle and bring it up out of the sheet, bending it at your knee slightly. You wet your lips with your tongue and find your mouth drier than it had ever been as he moves your leg into a good position for him, your calf almost grazing his chest. You feel yourself clench around nothing and feel your panties dampen at the closeness of him. He lets your foot down, tucking the sheet under your hip so that it doesn't slip out from under you, and you can feel your heartbeat everywhere. His fingers were so strong yet so gentle on your calf, rubbing out the tightness in your legs.  As his fingers made their way further up your leg you felt like you were on fire. His hands were pressing into the muscles, nails softly tracing against your inner thigh and it made you feel weak. You couldn’t get the image of those same fingers the ones that were trying to help you relax, rubbing circles over your clit or digging into your hips as he held you in place, out of your mind. It was filthy really, how pent-up you were. How depraved the thoughts you were having about this man, this stranger, were, but you couldn’t help the wetness pooling between your legs from growing.  He presses into a specifically sore spot, dragging something between a yelp and moan from your lips. “I'm so sorry-” your words were quiet, barely audible over the light music he had playing in the room. “Don't worry about it sweetheart, just means I’m doing my job right” he was fucking with you. He had to know what he was doing to you. Had to know that while he was working on the muscles of your legs, you wanted those strong fingers inside of you, talking you through orgasm after orgasm with that sweet southern voice. 

You close your eyes again, trying to stabilize your heart rate and keep it from pounding out of your chest “Alright sweetheart, I'm gonna wipe you off and then I’m sorry to say, but we are done for the session” You nod your head before feeling the warmth of a hot towel wipe against your legs, attempting to brush the idea of him wiping you up after pumping you full of his cum out of your mind. You take a few deep breaths before he turns the lights up slowly, letting you adjust to the change. “Alright, I'm gonna step out and grab you some water. I’ll meet you up by the front darlin’” You smile at him and say thank you before moving to change into your clothes, knees slightly wobbly from just thinking about him. Your panties are embarrassingly wet when you stand up, and you press your face into your hands trying to shake this out of your system.

You manage to step out of the room without having your knees give out,  eyes still slightly blurry from being half asleep through the whole appointment, and walk back out to the reception. You blink a few times, adjusting to the much brighter lighting, and see Joel waiting for you with a cup of water. “Pleasure working on ya sweetheart, I hope I’ll see you again soon” You take the water and say your thank you to him before watching him walk back into the backroom, and oh my god was his butt always that cute? 

You turn back to the receptionist with a smile, when she asks how the session went. “Good, yeah no everything was amazing” You bite on the inside of your cheek softly, the ghost of his fingers still on your skin. You get checked out, making sure to give him a hell of a tip and book another session with him in a few weeks. You take his card and twirl it around your fingers as you sit in your car. Joel Miller- Licensed Massage Therapist- Austin, TX. It was going to be a long hard few weeks without seeing him, but you had some ideas on how to keep yourself, and that dull ache in the pit of your stomach occupied, and every single one of them included thinking about Joel Miller and his fingers. 

A/N: From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free READ: This account stands with Palestine unequivocally, and so— I require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this. DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.  Thank you for reading, and free Palestine

[pikespendragon67]

eh might as well. Pikes Spring 2025 Check-In Post!

It's been a bit difficult for me to really talk these past few days so might as well make a check-in post!

IRL: Tomorrow's my mom's birthday! Then this Friday I'm going to one of my local cons. ...Though I'm also planning on going to a con that's like 2-3 hours away next month and eugh my wallet's killing me since I've been trying to assemble an itabag & obtain cosplay stuff. Then I have my bornth in June which I hope I can coordinate with my friends to travel 2-3 hours for a cool place. Then uhh next cons would be in August, I might see Mystery Skulls on tour if I have enough after all that, then my next big plan might be a Halloween party with friends or my annual vacation to visit relatives

I also saw Lotus Juice on stage a few weeks ago! First concert ever, first time going by myself (via train). I just wish I had better food.

Though in meh news, there's a client that treats me like a therapist and I sadly do not get paid a therapist's wage to deal with them professionally. I also keep stuttering at interviews since I feel like I need to explain everything to make sure nothing's skipped over. My sister-in-law said I can do interview prep and sacrifice more free time for that, but I treasure my me time way too much and full-time work makes things even more difficult. I'm one of those folks that likes to work on one thing at a time, and my full time job is my current focus, unfortunately.

Online: A few weeks ago I did something dumb and I upset someone as a result. I feel awful about it and my conscience is saying to apologize/repent (thanks moral OCD!), but I also don't want to blow it into extreme proportions and Streisand Effect it. Just me being dumb and accepting my consequences.

Anime: Spring season is upon us! WHY ARE ALL THE SHOWS I WANT TO WATCH ON SATURDAYS AND NOT THROUGHOUT THE WEEEEEEEEEK. But! For stuff I'm watching this season:

Monday - Hero Academia Vigilantes and barely paying attention to Kijin Gentoushou. Vigilantes I'm super hyped for more Aizawa content, and the other looked cool but I'm not vibing it like I would've hoped

Tuesday through Thursday - Digimon rewatch. I'm 1/7th through Xros Wars and Baalmon made things interesting. Usually the first 10 episodes or so for most Digimon series are there to establish the world and characters and powers and such but I'm like ehhhhh. Sucks that Akari and Zenjirou don't have Xros Loaders, as I think they'd make for cool combos as well. That being said oh GOD Shoutmon x4B looks so bad

Friday - Jojo rewatch, Fire Force season 3 and Apothecary Diaries season 2. I'm just starting Diamond is Unbreakable for my rewatch and ohhh it's so good to be back in Morioh again. I'm keeping the tradition of 1 episode per week, but Steel Ball Run being announced might throw a snag in that plan. This was mainly to make Stone Ocean feel like a weekly release, too. :c (That being said for the love of FUCK please do not make SBR a batch release). Fire Force I've forgotten what each Division does since the last season was like. 6 years ago I think. BUT I'm super excited for future fights and it's good to see Joker again. Apothecary Diaries season 1 I wasn't vibing with as much until the end, but season 2's got me more invested.

Saturday - Anne Shirley, Guilty Gear Strive Dual Riders, From Country Bumpkin to Master Swordsman, and Kowloon Generic Romance. AGAIN WHY IS EVERYTHING ON A SATURDAY. For IRL reasons I'm legally obligated to give any Anne of Green Gables adaptation a shot. I keep meaning to watch the 70s anime but hhhhh lot of stuff to go through first. I'm liking it so far. Guilty Gear I'm mainly watching to see if i like the new character coming up but I hope characters not in Strive make an appearance. Maybe not a full ensemble but hey. Raven would be neat. Country Bumpkin I'm watching for the main character but I hope it's more like Demi-chan where it has more depth than "girls like main guy". Kowloon's probably my highlight of this season alongside Fire Force and Vigilantes. I did read that it has an original ending coming up and only 13 episodes, so if push comes to shove, I'll get the manga and finish where I left off (I think it was like chapter 90 when I last left off). I loooooooove the opening, and I loved After the Rain a bunch too.

Sunday - To Be Hero X. Originally I thought this was going to be a movie, but wow! A series with constant animation changes! I'm a sucker for the 2D portions but the 3D looks really smooth too. I'm also liking the behind the scenes mysteries, so hopefully they don't go overboard and miss everything to have a Gainax ending.

After Digimon, I think I'll move onto Captain Harlock and then check what else in my backlog catches my interest.

Games: I just finished House in Fata Morgana's main story and I looooooved how angsty but full of compassion it was. I'll most likely get back to Requiem for Spooky Month (and if there are no other spooky games I'm gonna play then). I originally wanted to play Chicory, but I got to the underground portion where the platform bugs eat up color and move as they do so. It got. Very annoying because I tend to color the full room whenever I enter it so that I can remember that I visited it beforehand. For now, I'm playing Soul Hackers 2 and am enjoying it! About to recruit Saizo and while it might have flaws, I still like the characters and overall aesthetics for this game.

Next month should hopefully be Fantasy Life time!!!

Also I might say I hate nostalgia with a burning passion but ugh. GameCube games. I played Mario Party 5 since I'm collecting for Wii and GameCube (used to have it as a kid along with the other GC Mario Parties, made the dumb decision to sell them for a Wii U back in the day). I missed it so much. And while I can Dolphin it and even Parsec it with friends, I just like playing it while I have it. GameCube NSO I'm hoping will have Wave Racer Blue Storm and the OG Kirby Air Ride since my brother and I played those a lot as kids.

Might not get the Switch 2 at launch (unless my folks are cool and will help me for my birthday since it releases 2 days before the big day itself), but the games there look great. ...But then the game prices...hm.

I kinda wanna go back to replay FE Echoes or Gravity Rush or FE Awakening or Yakuza 0 but GAAAAAAAAH gotta focus on one game at a time!!!

Writing: Just finished the latest chapter of my Bleach OC fic! Hopefully got past all the big angst and can move onto more fun stuff for a while. Especially since the next chapter is music related :]

[punkshort]

what are roommates joel and readers love languages? Or is this something you'd answer later once they're together hehe

I held onto this ask so I could answer it closer to the end of the series, and since the final chapter is posting on Saturday, I figured it would be a good time to discuss!

I'm going to talk about their receiving love languages first.

I think reader's receiving love language is Quality Time. She enjoys watching movies together with Joel at the beginning of their story, then once they moved in together she liked cooking dinner with him for the house or running errands for the party. I think in those moments, they learned the most about each other and it really cemented the building blocks of their relationship.

Joel's receiving love language was a tough one. I initially wanted to say Physical touch, but I kept coming back to how hopeless he felt when he would see reader with another man and how it just seemed to consume him, so I landed on Words of Affirmation. Even though he and reader were having sex and spending the night together from time to time, it wasn't fulfilling enough for him. He wanted to hear her say she wanted him. He desperately wanted to know that what they had was more than just a physical connection. He had his suspicions, but reader couldn't just come out and say it, and it made him insecure. "We ever gonna talk 'bout last weekend or you gonna keep pretending you're happy with him?" How badly he wanted to track down reader after the wedding rehearsal to try to drag the truth out of her after her "I was so fucking stupid" comment, and even after their speeches at the wedding when he, in his own way, asked if she was in love with him when they were together. "You ever have that?" he asked ... "Friendship that turns into love?" Like, he needed to hear it.

So their giving love languages I think are the same. At least, at the end of the story, they are pretty clearly Acts of Service. Reader enlisted the help from a therapist to deal with her insecurities and work through her complicated feelings for Joel because he meant so much to her, she was willing to find a way to make it work, despite her reservations about his job. Sure, most people would have an issue dating a pornstar, but reader went ahead and had a prolonged affair with him anyway, knowing full well what he did for a living. And as Tommy pointed out, why wasn't it an issue for her then? Joel told her time and time again that his job is just a job, but she couldn't trust him. So by seeking treatment, she was looking to get to the root of her issues so she could go to him and say, 'Here. I had a problem, I'm working on it, I am in a good place now, please let me prove it to you.'

And the same goes for Joel. He wanted to do whatever it took so reader would give him a chance and he quit his job. It took a few months to finish up his contracts and he had to come up with a backup plan, which was complicated and scary in its own right. But the biggest takeaway was they both did these things without even knowing for sure the other would be willing to try again and make a relationship work, but they hoped a grand gesture would be enough to prove their love for one another.

These are just my opinions, if you guys have any other thoughts I would love to hear them!

[adaobiiii]

─────── Gaming Saturday ⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Prompt : Every Saturday, Marinette, Lila, and Chloe relax with their beloved Gaming Saturdays. A time to relax, laugh, and (sometimes wreak virtual havoc). While Marinette and Chloe attempt to design the perfect Bloxburg mansion, Lila has other plans: scamming unsuspecting kids and gaslighting them into financial ruin.

Pairing : Marinette x Chloe x Lila (PLATONIC!!!!!)

Warnings : None, Fluff, non-magic!au

A/N : So in this au the three girls are best friends who just had some issues in the past (no major bullying or anything of that sort) They all helped each other get better but still have their moments. Lila's favourite form of releasing her anger is bullying children on roblox (Please pretend this is how bloxburg works)

Home ||  Main Masterlist || MLB Masterlist

"Alright, what are we playing today?" Marinette asked, crisscrossing her legs on Lila’s plush bean bag chair. "Something calm? Maybe Stardew Valley? We could build a cute farm together!" she beamed, pulling out her iPad.

"Boring," Chloe drawled, lying dramatically across the bed, her arms draped over her face like a 19th-century woman in distress. "Marinette, please. I came here to win. I came here to dominate. I came here to—"

"Commit virtual crimes?" Lila cut in, already logging into Roblox with a wicked grin.

"Exactly!" Chloe quickly sat up, suddenly interested. "Wait, what game are you opening?"

Marinette moved closed, standing behind the two girls and squinting at the screen. "Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Lila, tell me you're not going to bully kids again."

Lila, still grinning, adjusted her headset. "It's free therapy. I can't afford a real therapist, so this is the next best thing."

"You can afford therapy, you just don't want to go," Marinette deadpanned as she opened the life-simulator game, sitting back on the bean bag.

"Same thing. Anyway, welcome to Bloxburg. I’m about to emotionally devastate some eight-year-olds."

Chloe peered over Lila’s shoulder as she editted her avatar: a suspiciously perfect girl with impossibly shiny hair and a designer outfit that absolutely did not belong in a kid's game. "Why does your character look like a billionaire influencer?"

"Because I want them to know they can never reach my level." Lila smirked and entered the game. "Also because I spent like 200 dollars on roblox…. Anyways, let’s see who I can ruin today."

"Oh my gosh," Marinette groaned, rubbing her temples.

Within minutes, Lila had inserted herself into a rich roleplayer’s mansion and convinced a small child to "adopt" her. Five minutes after that, she had maxed out their in-game credit card, crashed their virtual car into a river, and was currently gaslighting them into believing it was their fault.

Meanwhile, in a much more peaceful corner of Bloxburg, Marinette and Chloe were hard at work decorating their shared in-game house. Chloe had insisted on an over-the-top, luxurious mansion, while Marinette tried to add cozy and more practical elements.

"Chloe, we do not need a gold-plated bathtub," Marinette huffed, rotating a small plant in the virtual living room.

"Yes, we do. It’s called taste, Marinette. Look it up," Chloe retorted, placing yet another chandelier.

Marinette sighed, shaking her head as she adjusted the kitchen counters. "Fine, but if this turns into an actual palace, I’m making a bakery next door."

"As long as I get free croissants, deal."

Just as Marinette was about to add pastel wallpaper to the hallway, a loud, familiar shriek interrupted her thoughts.

"No, Timmy, listen. You gave me the money. I was just trying to buy us a nice house! How was I supposed to know you’d have to restart your whole save file?" the brunette typed quickly into the chat box.

"Lila!" Marinette shrieked, watching in horror from her own screen as the tiny avatar started sobbing in the chat.

Chloe, meanwhile, was cackling. "You’re a menace! I LOVE IT."

"I prefer the term 'agent of chaos.'" Lila flipped her hair and accepted another in-game donation from an unsuspecting player. "Ooh, more money. Thanks, Alexis, you’re a real one."

"Lila, you're running a literal pyramid scheme on a game for CHILDREN," Marinette cried, while Chloe wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.

"It's better than when I was running one in school" she shrugged, a smirk on her face as she continued to coerce the poor unknowing child to donate more.

"You have to respect the hustle," Chloe wheezed.

"Timmy is still crying!"

Lila sighed and typed, it's okay Timmy, think of this as a life lesson before abandoning the game completely.

"You're a horrible person," Marinette groaned, but she was laughing now too.

"Thank you." Lila beamed. "Now, who's up for running Adopt Me?"

[indzae-mayumi]

Chance Meeting We Didn't Know

(BachiSagi, NagiReo, KuniGiri fanfic. "Blue Lock" is by Kaneshiro Muneyuki, and illustrated by Nomura Yusuke)

Nagi was sitting by the stairways, by himself as usual. He was busy playing video games when he heard croons and squeals made by the female population in school.

"Reo-sama, you're so cool~"

"Please date me, Reo-sama~"

"No! He's mine!"

"No! Mine!"

Nagi sighed. Can these girls be decent and not squeal? They were distracting his stream of thoughts. And soon, he grimaced because his character "died."

Reo and his fan girls passed by the stairs, and the girls continued hovering near Reo, wanting his attention. Only two of the girls saw Nagi by the staircase, and they began gossiping.

"That weirdo is there yet again," one whispered to her classmate.

Nagi definitely heard that. But Reo did not seem to hear it because the screams of the other girls were louder.

"Girls, girls, please calm down," Reo told them with his usual elegant, fancy, and friendly air. "I've got something to tell you."

"What is it, Reo-sama?" the girls asked in unison.

"This Saturday, I will hold a party," Reo announced.

"We will go!!!!"

Reo told them where, and the girls squealed again. Nagi just listened and thought that Reo was so cool because he was popular and friendly, and can hold lavish parties.

"Ah, mendokusai," Nagi said to himself when he thought about the efforts of preparing for a party.

He continued playing video games when Reo and his party left.

****

"You are where?" a shrill older female voice asked over the phone, her tone a bit higher and louder.

"I'm at the hospital, okaa-san," Kunigami gently informed his mother. "I told you I will be visiting obaa-san today."

"Ah, hontou?" Okaa-san asked over the phone. "Gomen ne, Rensuke-chin. Your mother is very forgetful these days. Take care there in Kagoshima."

"Haiii," Kunigami said very politely to his mother before bidding goodbye.

When his mother hung up, he kept his phone inside his bag and hurried towards the elevator so he could get to the room where his grandmother was confined. As he entered the elevator, two women entered.

"My imouto is into soccer, and she showed me a sports magazine with a redhead player one time. A fast-running prodigy, they said," the first woman said to her friend. "I later realized that I saw him here."

"Did he visit someone?" her friend asked.

"No, I saw him at the rehab the other day when I went with my patient aunt and the therapist," the first woman replied. "It seems he is a patient here too."

When the elevator dinged at the fourth floor, the two women exited. Kunigami thought about what they said, and he began to put two and two together.

"Could it be the Red Panther?" he asked himself. "That lad has a red hair, and he is a speedster. I also saw that magazine. But why was he admitted here?"

The thought about the certain redhead left his mind as he reached the seventh floor. What was important to him was his grandmother. As he made his way in haste, with a fruit basket in hand, he did not know that the redhead the women were talking about passed behind him, walking with a pair of crutches.

****

"What will we be doing here in Saitama, Mama?" Bachira asked his mother curiously.

"I will be selling this painting to your uncle," Okaa-san said dearly to her son.

"You could've just have it delivered," Bachira told his okaa-san.

"We will be visiting relatives too, you know?" Okaa-san gently replied before giving out a smile.

Bachira got his sunny disposition from his mother. His okaa-san was gentle and went with the flow of the world, no matter how cruel it was. And she was his source of comfort whenever he was bullied for being weird. Until now, he still was, but he knew his mother was always there for him. That's why when his okaa-san would want to travel, he would tag along.

"You mentioned about meeting an online friend?" Okaa-san asked.

"Hai, Mama," Bachira replied excitedly. "Ace Striker said that he loves soccer too. But he said that he is anxious regarding their standing in the prefectural games."

Okaa-san smiled at her son. "Even if your team did not win in the prefectural games, I am sure you will meet someone who will play the kind of soccer that you like."

"Hai, Mama," Bachira remarked. "I want to play at the Interhigh so bad, but if there is one wish I want granted, I want to meet Ace Striker-san so we can talk about soccer all day, and perhaps play. I have a feeling I can meet him soon, Mama."

"That's great, Meguru," Okaa-san said. "I know you will. Just believe."

"Hai!"

When they reached Okaa-san's ancestral house, Oji-san welcomed his sister and his nephew warmly. Oji-san lived alone because his wife died a year ago, and his two children, all grown up, had left to live their lives. Bachira's grandparents had crossed the afterlife. Oji-san was happy to have family members come visit him.

"Let's go to your other uncles and aunties, Meguru-chin," Oji-san said to his nephew. "They are preparing your favorite food."

"Yey!" Bachira replied excitedly. He did not know visiting relatives from a different prefecture was this great.

"Onii-chan, here is the painting you want to buy," Okaa-san said to her elder brother, who happily received it.

"Matte, I will get the payment for this," he said before he went to his room to get his money.

Okaa-san and Bachira had travel bags with them with clothes worth five days, and Okaa-san said to Bachira that though they were guests, they should help around the house because Oji-san is a bit old and needed help.

"Hai! I will be a good boy, Mama," Bachira promised his mother.

"It's me coming home to my parents' house, so I should help my onii-chan here," Okaa-san said.

****

Reo passed by the staircase with his fan girls, and he smiled at them as he told them about the party. He partly heard about his other fan girls talking about a certain weirdo, but when he looked behind him, he was not able to see who that person was. He was not able to see even the white hair of that "weirdo" by the stairs.

"Oy, oy, I don't like that," Reo admonished the two fan girls gossiping about someone.

"What about something, Reo-sama?" one of the gossiping fan girls asked.

"You talking bad about weird people," Reo said. "Let them be weird, and don't bully them."

"And why is that so, Reo-sama?" another fan girl asked.

"You might end up working for one of them," Reo said. "My father said so, and he is the testament to that."

It was one of the rumors around school that Reo's father's wealth was really not generational, but rather something that he built from scratch as a young teenager. It was said that his father was rather exceptionally intelligent that he had massive ideas, a lot of which helped him earn money. And later on, he was able to amass his wealth by any means possible. It was no wonder that Reo himself was also academically gifted and highly intelligent that he learned all the rules and moves in basketball, and was a starter immediately.

"Gomen ne, Reo-sama," the two fan girls said in embarrassment.

"Reo-sama, what's your position in basketball?"

"Point guard," Reo said. "You see, I really like leading people. My father had trained me that. And I had used it rather well in the basketball court. Do you know what the point guard is called by other people?"

"What is that?"

"The coach on the floor," Reo explained.

"You're so cool, Reo-sama~"

"But why did you leave the basketball team?" another fan girl asked. "Our basketball team is rather strong despite our prep school being of stellar reputation. We could have made it to the Interhigh."

"It was just out of boredom or me looking for passion that I joined," Reo said. "But I was not happy being in the basketball team, so I quit two days ago."

"Awwww, why?"

"We already prepared cute white outfits and banners for you, Reo-sama~" one fan girl informed him sadly.

"And we prepared chants too," another said on the brink of tears.

"I am sorry, girls," Reo said in straight English with an apologetic smile. "I know deep inside that basketball is not for me."

"Why?"

But Reo only smiled. He did not tell them that he found a new love: soccer. And he found it a week before the current conversation, and he just had an altercation with his parents a few days ago because of it.

****

Chigiri struggled with maintaining his balance with his crutches. It was a pain to be in this situation. Why did his right knee have to get injured? Why did it have to be during a match, of all times?

He was bored inside his room, and his okaa-san was out for work. His nee-chan was busy in university in Tokyo. So only the nurses looked out for him to attend to needs that he could not do alone. He was through reading the novels that his okaa-san brought for him, so he went to the nurse's station to ask.

"Sumimasen, can I have stuff delivered here?" he asked one male nurse.

"What kind of stuff, Hyoma-kun?" asked the nurse.

"Novels, manga, magazine... stuff like that," Chigiri explained.

"Oh sure! I saw all your novels in your room, and I can let you borrow my novel while you wait for your delivery," the nurse offered as he grabbed a copy of 'Ready Player One.'

Chigiri took the copy with shimmers in his eyes, and thanked the nurse because he wanted to read this book but always forgot to buy it.

"Ah, you can have it. I read it, like, ten times already," the nurse said. "I am happy to know that the Red Panther likes novels too."

"How... did you know I was...?"

"I have a younger cousin in Akita, and he's your age," the nurse said. "He likes soccer too, and he wants to be a soccer superhero. Crazy kid. But very kind kid. We both saw a magazine with you on it, but he did not buy it because he was planning to buy some stuff in school. You'd probably become friends if you meet each other."

"That's nice," Chigiri said with a smile.

"But of course, I will not be telling him you are confined here," the nurse said. "That's a breach of confidentiality."

Chigiri knew what it meant. He had read it in his novels.

"Well, thank you for the book," Chigiri replied with a smile. "I will have novels delivered here too."

"Sure, sure," the nurse replied.

"Hyoma-kun, let's get back to your room," another nurse informed him. She had a tray of medicine with her.

"Medicine time?" he asked drearily. He hated taking medicine, but he had to.

"Hai," the nurse said. "Let me hold the book for you so you will not lose it."

Chigiri let the nurse take the book from him, and he gave her a bow as low as his body could tolerate. "Arigatou gozaimasu."

The nurse paced her walk with Chigiri's pace with his able leg and his crutches. As they were near his room, a tall figure with orange hair went to the nurses' station to ask something.

****

"Yoichi-kun, let's go," a friend called out to Isagi.

It was a fine Saturday morning, and Isagi and his team were going to practice for the upcoming district prelims. The winner in the prefectural games will go to the Interhigh.

"I wonder how Monster Child is doing?" he asked himself as he walked with his friend towards the bus stop.

Soon, some of their team mates came to the bus station, for they all planned to go to school together to practice. They talked about how playing during the Interhigh would feel and look like. They envied the basketball team in their school because the basketball team had won the prefectural games last year and was able to play at the Interhigh. It was also rumored that the basketball team would still make it to the Interhigh this year.

"If I were in the basketball team, I could have a chance to play," Isagi heard a teammate said. "Too bad, I don't like basketball."

"I used to play basketball in junior high," another said. "I was shooting guard and very good at it. But when I saw a scorpion kick by Noel Noa, it had captured my heart so much it got me to quit basketball after our basketball prefectural games."

"You started late learning soccer though," Isagi said to that teammate. "But you're pretty good."

"Must be because I am athletic?" the teammate asked. "But I take it the same way though. Shoot to the goal as accurately as possible."

"Wow, so cool~" Isagi thought.

That night, after preparing himself for sleep, he logged into his social network profile "Ace Striker" and checked out notifications. Monster Child replied to one of his comments, and he laughed because his online friend was extremely funny.

"I wonder what kind of friend this kid would be?" Isagi asked himself as he read through all the other comments.

--end--

[depressedhouseplant]

Cops & Robbers Read Along: Chapter 6

You can read the chapter here

No, I didn’t forget about the read along! I’m still sick (shocker) & missed 2 days of work last week (my normal writing days). I’ve also started a Bluesky to replace Twitter so if you’re on there and want to find me, I can drop the @. I spent several hours on Saturday trying to rebuild it, failing, and just going with what I ended up with. The alt text is killing me though because how the fuck do I describe some of the moodboards I created. I hate to be ableist toward those who can’t see well, but you really don’t need me describing some of the moodboards I’ve made. You just don’t.

With that out of the way, here we go onto Chapter 6!

“You want me to do what?” Wooyoung tried not to look shocked and failed.

“I need you to drag the river. Well, really just a certain section,” Juyeon repeated. He was sitting in the police chief’s office, the only person who could authorize a search. He also happened to be Younghoon’s boss and Juyeon’s childhood friend.

Yet again, here’s a case of me showing and not telling because I’m fucking lazy and trying to show the fact they’ve been friends since childhood is just too much work. I’m doing this for free.

“Does everything think I’m that whipped for him?” The other man huffed.

“There’s no thinking about it. You’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer. I never called off the surveillance because you both enjoyed watching each other,” Wooyoung explained.

“That makes it sound like we’re a couple of voyeurs,” Juyeon replied.

“I know you’re an exhibitionist, but I prefer to stay out of Younghoon’s sex life,” Wooyoung gave his friend a look.

“You walked in on me once,” Juyeon protested.

“And I’ve been trying to scrub that image from my head for the past 15 years,” Wooyoung replied. “Do you need anything else or are you just staying to annoy me?”

Yes, I was implying that Juyeon was having sex as a teenager and Wooyoung walked in on him. You’re welcome for that clarification.

“You told him? You didn’t tell me first? I swear to god Kim Sunwoo,” he went to stand up and Younghoon stopped him. 

“It’s not his fault. I asked him to show me a picture. Don’t punish him,” he begged. Juyeon looked between Sunwoo and Younghoon. 

“It’s true,” Eric spoke up. “He asked and Sunwoo showed him.”

“You should’ve told him no,” Juyeon focused on Sunwoo. 

“Juyeon, stop, please. Please,” Younghoon started crying. “Don’t hurt him. He didn’t do anything wrong. Let him go.”

Younghoon’s reaction is pretty classic PTSD. I would know as I’ve had it.

“Promise me you won’t hurt him,” Younghoon begged. 

“I promise I won’t hurt him. You know I’ve never lied to you and I’m not going to start now,” Juyeon sat next to him. Bori had scurried into Eric’s lap. 

“Thank you,” Younghoon wiped his eyes and winced. Juyeon felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. He opened his mouth to say something, but Younghoon cut him off. 

“I’d like to be alone for a while,” he said quietly. Juyeon felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He wanted to argue. He wanted to convince Younghoon to let him stay. Hyunjae and Eric gave him twin looks of warning.

Yet again, trying to sell Juyeon’s feelings for Younghoon and Younghoon exhibiting PTSD. No one ever accused me of being a good writer.

“The last time I shared everything I knew, someone died,” Juyeon reminded him.  

“Who was also a fully functioning adult and made his own decision,” the other man replied. 

FoReShaDoWiNg (kinda)

“I didn’t anticipate this many dead bodies,” Jongho said. 

“It’s the mafia. Of course there are going to be dead bodies,” Yunho sighed. Jongho didn’t reply. “Let’s get through this search and hope they don’t find anything. If nothing else I don’t want to deal with a body that’s been in the water for over a week.”

I made myself laugh with Yunho’s line. At least I think I’m funny. So does my therapist.

That’s it for this chapter’s read along. Gimme a shout or a like or a reblog if you’re enjoying this. Love you, mean it.

[bumpin-thatbeat]

1/30/2025

hi my loves

today was fine. nothing extremely bad happened. we were actually able to eat lunch which is a godsend. it was caramelized pork with rice and it was rlly good, as usual. we had to be sent home an hour early tho. my stomach started to kill me and i almost threw up... i asked our supervisor if we could leave and he gave us the go ahead but i'm still anxious from the warnings he gave us so i'm like a scared lil animal rn. i booked an appointment to talk to my therapist about it tho. i told her i basically upgraded from "my friends hate me" anxiety to "i'm gonna get fired" anxiety. i should be able to see her on saturday if she doesnt get into another freak accident... lol.

i'm sorry the race yesterday wasn't super good. at the very least, it'll get better in the future (especially with the spoilers). and i'm sorry you were made to feel left out because u werent in that weird server. if it helps, i dont think you were being made to feel purposefully left out by ur friends. mac and cheese and ice cream sounds good... no salad for us tho! and it's okay that you've been highstrung baby. i understand that not taking your meds makes you guys feel awful and stuff. as always, we're more than willing to be patient with you guys and reassure, even if we dont have much advice to give. please don't overwork / think yourself into thinking you need to improve yourself for us. you're already great as is. you guys are such good people and we love and adore every single one of you.

we'd love to watch races with u sometime! maybe we can do it while we draw? :3 and maybe sometimes we watch a video from our youtube together? :33 date nite ideas.... speaking of, maybe setting up a date night would be good for the both of us.

we wanna share everything with you guys too! we love hearing about ur day and telling about ours. we think about you guys a lot when we're at work. we're always wondering how u guys are, what ur doing... etc etc. we love you guys a lot. we love spending time together just laughing. because you guys make us laugh a lot. lately we've been anxious on if we're good partners and just generally wondering if we've been good to you guys. even though life is kinda shitty for you guys rn, you still take the time to talk to us and reassure us and let us lean on u.... we love and appreciate it heavily. a lot of the times during the day, we miss ur laugh, ur words, ur expressions. we're always excited when we get to come home and text u guys. its our favorite time of the day.

sometimes we get anxious about us. not because of anything youve done, of course, but because we're so used to bad relationships. we get overly anxious about stating our boundaries, we get insecure when we have needs and wants and we get scared if we're doing enough for you. but when i think of you, you saying that we can stop feeling guilty for our past, you sending these blog posts and actually trying to understand us... i guess hopeful is the right word. i hate having hope. but with you it just grows naturally.

heres to now and forever

to: @thepaddock

[ohmygillygoshoppler]

Let's hear them secret scientist headcannons, Ma. Pretty please 🙏🥺

huehuheuheuhwlhbsjhbclah~ y’all know what it is, mostly rambling I wrote most of this waiting for the dentist lol

Drew (Audrey do not call her that omg Saturday)

Mama’s albino. Isee it with my eyes and just feel it in my bones. She’s pale, her hair is pale, I she even had baby blues in TGIS so, yeah. 

Drew isn’t a huge fan of chocolate, opposites since Mom Monday had a thing for cocoa. Maybe she doesn’t have a thing for sweets in general? Like I can see Drew as more of a FoodSnack person rather than SweetSnack person. She’ll be like, “I want a snack,” And spend like 2 hours prepping the stuff for a food item that will be gone in 20 minutes and somehow, she’ll find a way to convince Doc to “help” with the cleanup after.

She always wanted a big family, But only managed to have Zak. She loves her family regardless, it's just not the way she thought they'd be. I mean, come on; Her and Doc are so romantic all the time, like there’s no way they woulda stopped at just one. If she could have given Zak a sibling, she would have, but it wasn’t in the cards. So, adoption, lmao.

My girl is a mystic through and through but she is not mystically inclined. She could tear out her hair and make a deal with the devil, and still not be able to conjure her own magic at all, but she is so well versed in it, you’d think she was a sorcerer or something. (Maybe she could, oh I dunno, help her magical buddies out with that know-how, huh?)

Doc “Solomon” Saturday

My guy has some serious PTSD and OCD issues that he hasn’t quite sorted out, and I’ll bet he’s scared to go into it given all the times he’s started talking about it, only to immediately shut himself up about it.

Like, seriously, my man needs a therapist.

I’m laughing and wringing my hands together like Argost himself thinking about all the fun times we’re gonna have with mr. Magic Doesn’t Exist now that he’s gotta help his new Angel Daughter find her friends. Sorry Solomon, but you’re gonna have an aneurysm.

Doyle Blackwell  **Professional Uncle

Such a cool dude, he can’t drink alcohol because he’s too cool to get buzzed (he's allergic to alcohol and will turn beet red after one drink help this poor man)

I get a lot of, “I dont deserve an apartment,” vibes from this guy so I say he needs more “Chillin at home with the fam,” And less “Shitty hostels wherever the cheapest.” Also man needs a gf (or bf, ffs nobody want him fr!!11!)

He's bi, and I know cuz he told me lmao

Paul Cheechoo (Uncle Bear!👏🏼 Uncle Bear! 👏🏼Uncle Bear!👏🏼)

Okokokokok, so I am super super projecting here because Cheechoo deadass reminds me of an uncle who is A.) also native af, we’re not Inuit but were fuckin n8v; and B.) also a fuckin geologist lesgoooooo

So guys got a big family, huge actually. Lots of cousins and nieces and nephews and aunties and uncles and such- making it a bit hard and a bit sad keeping the whole Secret Scientist thing away from his family. Especially after the Weird world incident when he became withdrawn from them, fearing Argost might do something horrible to his kin. So, he kept mostly to himself, confiding only in his fellow scientists.

I feel like his sarcasm and friendly demeanor is so sweet and endearing, especially for someone so friggin big, I mean good god- Look at this man. The friendly giant trope always gets me, so what? BUT! That being said, I’d like to think that sometimes my guy forgets how big he is… Like, we’ve seen how this guy gets tossed around like a ragdoll, maybe he also forgets he’s a brick shithouse, given all the times he’s gotten his ass whooped.

Man is Golden Retriever coded, and I wanna eat him alive for it./pos

Arthur Fuckin Beeman

My man! *kills him again and again and again and again an-*

Also, I love how we all saw this man, we all looked at each other, and we all said, “Yeah, he's autistic af.” Like, it's very clear that this man’s brain works… differently from others.

My brother once said, Liaos from Dungeon Meshi if he didn’t want to eat the aliens he just wanted to hang out and honestly…. Werk.

Does this man deserve an arc? Not really, but do I wanna put him in a few fucked up situations? Hang him upside down and shake him till all his tokens fall out? Maybe. Maybe Zak’ll help me, too. Shit…

Miranda Grey (Big Grey)

Ooooooohohohohohohohohoooo~ We hardly got anything with you, Doctor. Which means I can do whatever, and I both hate and love that-

I know you love your sister~ I know you’re sad about her betrayal~~ I know you’re hurting, girly, I know your devastated inside and you can’t do anything about it because so much shit is falling apart around you and now your sister fucked over the only people you can call friends, fuck you Miranda! Eat shit and die! ILY!!

I reeeeeeaaaaly think she’s guilty about what she’s done to the Saturdays, especially Zak, so maybe she might try and say or do something to try and make amends, but how? Thats a good question… I wanna know too, lmao.

Abbey Grey (Little Grey)

Ooooooooooooooooh~~~

I have plans for you, stupid bitch……

Agent Ex husband

The scariest mfer in all existence, most stifled man in all existence, omg. If War were ever made a fucking human, Epsilon would be his fate, and holy fuck- Yeah. Stoic? Check. Bound by a strict code of ethics/honor? Check. Big As Shit? Check. Scary????? Umm, yeah. My mans a Horseman.

Wants to be loved. Wants to rest. Wants to have a cigarette for the first time in years. Wants some coffee with extra cream and sugar. Does he deserve it? No,not really. But he does need it. His soul needs a good kneading, like dough.

However, he is fucked up for the way he raised Francis and how he’s always shutting hom down and telling him how his thoughts don’t matter like, damn, just tell the boy he aint shit why dont you-

I feel like, if I give Francis an arc, Epsilon should have one too. I wanna know more about him- surprise surprise- and what makes him tick. We see in the show that there is some care for Francis, we see as much when he gets so mad at Francis for not quickly following his instructions, but that begs the question; does he actually care, or is he protecting his interests, so to speak? Lots to learn, lots to pick apart.

[aheckinmess]

(One-shot series 3/3 chapters posted - posted regularly on Saturdays. If anyone knows who to credit for the Hizashi fanart, please let me know!)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Graphic violence, Hizashi Yamada x OC, Present Mic, Present Mic saves the day, Hizashi Yamada is a ray of sunshine, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, pro hero to the rescue, learning how to people again, no longer a puppet, wedding time

Word Count: 5,127 words

Summary: One year after breaking free of a horrible life, Ichijiku has made great strides in her mental health and trauma, as well as her relationship with Hizashi. As their impending wedding approaches, Ichijiku starts worrying about the possible roadblocks intimacy could create. One apathetic Aizawa lends his aide and advice.

Author's Note: I haven't posted fanfiction in years, but after a two-year obsession with My Hero Academia, I have more than enough content to share. This first series is pretty dark, but there's some comfort and sweetness along the way. Enjoy.

Content Warning: Smut included in this chapter.

Chapter 3: Harmonious Happenings

Ichijiku (Tigress)

"Are you ready to head home?"

"No. I need to walk around a little bit. I want to talk to you about something, but I'm not sure how to bring up the subject."

"Is this about physical intimacy with Hizashi?"

I look up at Shouta with shock and disbelief. I knew even before we became friends that he was good at reading Hizashi's mind, but damn! Is he sure erasure is his only quirk? Telepathy seems to come in at a close second. But I can't help it. Such a topic while walking down the street makes my cheeks turn pink. "Y-Yes. Am I that obvious?"

"That...was just a lucky guess." He admits with a drawl. "You've been acting a little off since he proposed to you. It's been, what, six months?" As if you're not keeping count, Logic Boi. He's your best friend.

"Yeah...the wedding will be coming up any day now." That's brought on a whole new wave of conflicted emotions. "I guess I'm just starting to get really anxious. I'm scared."

"About the preparations or about marrying Hizashi?"

"Well, a little of both. But mostly the marrying Zashi part." I admit, fidgeting with the ends of my sleeves in the autumn breeze. "This time last year I almost cut him out of my life entirely for similar reasons. But it's not the same. I'm scared because if he ends up like Kigai–"

"I'll personally wring his neck for you." Shouta finishes for me. "Hizashi is one of the most easy-going people I know. He won't take advantage of you like that. You've been with him long enough to know that. There's something else you're afraid of then, right?"

Damn Logic Boi.

"Right..." I sigh, wondering if this is a conversation I should be having with him and not my therapist. Ms. Sheila said having friends and confidants to talk to are just as important. "I'm worried that...I won't be able to be that intimate with him like he wants right away."

"Okay. Why does that worry you?"

"Because I," Warmth starts creeping into my neck. "Because I've...been able to tell that he gets excited...ahem and I've been privy to that too. So I'm scared that he'll think he's obligated to it once we're married."

"When he first wanted to kiss you, did he seem to think he was obligated to it?"

I blink up at him. "You know about that?"

"Ichi, Hizashi was bouncing off the walls before he went to that hibachi place with you. I'm surprised you got through the first three minutes without him confessing his love on the spot." It sounds so amusing with his dry delivery.

"Oh." Was I really that oblivious? Wow, guess you really are more stupider than I thought. You were still hypervigilant and afraid. It's only natural you'd have missed the signs. "Well...no, he didn't seem to think he was obligated to it, I don't guess."

"Then what makes you think he'd feel obligated to sex?" His tone isn't judgmental, just curious. I'm grateful for it.

"Well, it's different than a kiss, you know? I mean people kiss each other all the time. It's a lot easier to say no...or to stop if it gets too scary." My poor sleeves go through the wringer as I start rambling. A man passing by yells so loudly that I flinch. "B-But it's much harder with sex. If I think I'm okay to start but have to stop, I can't just tell him no in the middle like when we kiss."

"Why not?"

"Because then he'll be mad." I whimper. Eucalyptus tickles my nostrils and I grip my chest and the front of my shirt. "He'll be mad and then he'll hit me and leave me alone."

"Ichi, you're gripping your shirt. Take a deep breath." Shouta instructs.

"Shit. Not now. I'm sorry." I put my face in my hands and grip my hair. "I'm so sorry."

"Take a deep breath. You're safe. He's not here now and you're walking on the sidewalk with me. There's a fire hydrant coming up and a woman rocking her baby while she waits on the bench for a bus. The streets are chatty but not bustling and the wind is cold. Someone's selling fried rice because I can smell it from here. Breathe." He says, immersing me in my present surroundings like my therapist has advised me to do.

Rough sidewalk. Red fire hydrant. Baby crying. Screeching bus tires. Cold wind. Fried rice...with shrimp and broccoli. The visual and sensual cues help me the most. It helps ground me in the present. I inhale and I exhale and the eucalyptus starts to fade. Kigai's hand ghosts my shoulder but I focus on the white lines drawn on the crosswalk and a little girl's cheerful laugh as she swings her doll around. It was the guy yelling that sent me out of it. We're still in the present. Everything is okay. That's it, Little One. Good job.

"Thank you." I take one final breath and glance at him for a moment before I regroup and go back to my original conversation. "Anyway...it's just not the same, Shouta."

"Of course it's the same. You're allowed to tell him to stop at all times. Whether that's before or during the act." Shouta reassures me.

This is new information that makes me pause. You're being a little tease, aren't you? Telling me you want it and changing your mind? Bullshit! You're mine and you'll do exactly as I tell you! I nearly halt right in the middle of the sidewalk, but I power through, needing to have this conversation. I need to talk to someone and hopefully get some coping strategies before I have to pull through this with Zashi. Shouta's probably one of the best people to do that with. He knows him so well.

"Kigai...stopped caring about what I had to say the first time I tried to resist." I admit, tapping my teeth together in my mouth as I purposefully avoid eye contact.

"That's rape." Shouta's voice changes. He still sounds apathetic, but I've learned there are certain intonations where I can tell he's upset. This is one of those times. "Only a scumbag would do that."

"So if I decide to try but...we're in the middle...erm, doing stuff and I get uncomfortable...I can tell him to stop?" I rub my arms nervously, but not because I'm flustered about the subject now. It's because ghostly memories haunt the edge of my mind. "He won't...be angry with me?"

"Let me make this abundantly clear," Shouta begins as I unlock my door to my house and he helps me bring in my wedding finds. I have him set them on the counter while I close and lock the door. "Hizashi can be balls deep inside you and you're allowed to tell him to stop. Knowing Hizashi, who knows about your situation, he'll communicate with you how he needs to stop. If he needs to pull back entirely, if he just needs to wait for you to take a breath and continue, that sort of thing. Hizashi's not going to be angry at you for needing time to work through anything. You lived through hell for three years, Ichijiku. Both he and I and our other friends know that takes time to get over."

I can't help but laugh. Not only because it feels like a weight's been lifted from my shoulders, but also because I'd never expected to hear Shouta Aizawa say the words balls deep inside you to me of all people.

"That's encouraging to know. Thanks, Shouta."

"Of course. And if he ends up whining about it, I'll threaten to cut the circulation from his testicles and he won't have to worry about it at all."

. . . . .

Time flashes by until I'm adorned in a beautiful white dress with my hair twirled and curled in intricate fashion to frame my features. Anxieties ripple through my skin until I see Hizashi standing at the end of the aisle. My heart grows and swells inside my chest until I make it to his side, glowing with joy that he looks so awed and proud as I step up beside him. I give Shouta and Oboro a wave. Nemuri winks at me when I turn back to that side.

And then everything rushes by in a blur. We repeat our vows to the ordained and God, exchange a kiss that makes me dizzy, and then suddenly my last name is Yamada. The after party flurries by because I'd asked for a smaller ceremony, to which Hizashi thankfully obliged.

It's when we start getting closer to our honeymoon destination that I start getting nervous. Just breathe, Cub, remember what Shouta said. He won't do anything you're not ready for. That's the problem. I want to be ready for that. I have a high libido. I'm more than ready physically...but...I'm not at the same time. It frustrates me. Why wouldn't it frustrate him? Everything is going to be okay. When we finally make it to the beach house, Hizashi fully picks me up bridal style to walk me through the threshold. "I heard this was a tradition, so I thought I'd treat you." He laughs, setting me down once we get inside. He looks around. "Damn. This place is nice!"

He's not wrong. I look around and instantly feel the comfort of being in a large space to call my own for the next two weeks. "Oh, look!" There's a little basket setting on the coffee table in the living space. When I pad over to look at it, I flush with a nervous chuckle. "Eeps. It's from Nemuri." I can already see the pink thong sticking out in a folded flower and quickly walk in the other direction. "Y-You can look at that. I'm going to go try and get out of this dress."

"Would you like some help? Can you reach the zipper?" He asks as he also forgoes the gift offering for now.

I swallow, take a deep breath, and nod. "Yes, please." As much as I'm scared of what might come next, I can't get my dress off alone.

We make our way to the room we'll be staying in. My anxiety heightens as I'm innately aware of how close Hizashi is. I pull him into the master bathroom so I can start working on getting all of the pins out of my hair while watching him as he works the zipper.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks me once he's got the dress hanging open for me to step out. I notice he's looking me over from the back, but he doesn't touch me. "Your breathing is off."

"I'm a little nervous." I don't feel the need to elaborate.

I wring my fingers and twist my newly acquired ring as I look down at it. Then I step out of my dress and start looking for my overnight bag full of clothes.

"Nervous?" Hizashi asks before his eyes widen and he seems to understand. "Oh! Oh. Hey, you don't have to be nervous, lovebug." He crosses over to me as I rifle through my bag and kisses my cheek, but doesn't even move to hug me while I'm half naked in front of him. "I won't do anything you don't want to. You excite me, sure, but tonight doesn't have to be about anything sexual if you don't want it to be." He chuckles to lighten the atmosphere. "Just don't mind me if my body responds. I'm a big boy, I'll be able to handle it even if I can't help what my body does."

I start pulling on some lounge clothes, exhausted from the long social day. When I turn to him, I carefully plant myself against his chest.

"That's...that's the problem. I want...I want you. I'm just scared of wanting you, because I'm scared of how I'll respond. I'm scared I'll disappoint you. I'm scared you'll be mad and it'll ruin everything." I swallow thickly.

He's quiet for a moment, which means a lot coming from Hizashi because he's usually so vocal. It makes me feel good to know he's really thinking this over and choosing his words carefully for me. His hands rub my back and I feel him plant a kiss on the top of my head. Safe. He's safe.

"Well, let's talk about how you want to address it then." He holds my chin delicately to make me look up at him. "Is it something you'd like to try tonight? Or something you want to try sometime this week? Or even further down the line?" He pauses before adding. "Before you answer, know that any of your answers are acceptable, lovebug. I'm willing to work with you. I know it's hard for you."

My eyes get glassy. How is he so wonderful? I have to push forward again to hug him tight, sniffling as I'm overwhelmed with affection that over three years ago I thought didn't exist - or if it did, I thought I'd never get to have it.

"I want..." I take a deep breath and gauge the swirling emotions in my gut. "I want to try...tonight...and throughout the week?" I pause again. "I don't want...to let Kigai influence how I react to you because I know you're not him." I squeeze him in my arms and am rewarded with a squeeze back. "But I don't know...how...to try it. I don't know what I'll be comfortable with or if I'll freak out. And that scares me."

"Hmm," He hugs me for a moment as he thinks. "Why don't we start with baby steps, lovebug? Would you like to try a shower together? That way you can just get used to me in your general vicinity without making any moves on you? Or do you need a smaller step than that?"

I think it over. That should be fine to start...knowing if I can handle him naked in my proximity...that would be good to know to begin with. And if you can't, just tell him that. He'll slow down for you. He's already made that pretty clear. Right...right. "I think we can try that." I agree, before pulling back and fidgeting with my pajama sleeves.

"Alright, well...how do you want to start this, then?" He asks, before he leans over to start the shower. "I guess to start with I'll let you choose the water temperature."

"Thanks." I focus heavily on my breathing for the next few moments, reaching in and adjusting the nozzles until I'm ready to turn on the shower. When that's done, I take a deep breath. "Okay...okay." Ms. Sheila said a good tip was to relax and start with what I'm comfortable with. "Can I have a kiss?"

Hizashi finally breaks into a smile and leans down to close the distance and set his hands on my hips to pull me closer. I'm used to this by now, it feels safe and familiar. I tug at his lip and run my hands along his chest over his shirt. As I feel more comfortable, I tentatively move my fingers under his shirt to do the same thing, just against his skin.

We're okay. We've done some of this before. I'm safe. This is Zashi. I move my fingers up his chest and around his neck. helping him wiggle out of his shirt. When I pull back for air, I'm rewarded with a delectably handsome sight that fills me full of longing...and fear.

I have to remember to breathe as I drink him in. Even though it's just his top half, I can already feel my tummy flipping and warmth make my body tingle. My fingers tremble when I rub my fingers over his abs.

"Are you okay?" He asks me through heavy breaths. "Do you need a minute or can I take off the rest?"

I squeak and hide behind my hands for a moment. It's okay. He's okay. He's safe. Breathe.

"Y-Yeah. If...if I need you to stop, I'll tell you." I promise.

I'm both fully and not at all prepared for when he pulls down the rest of his clothes. My breath gets shaky, but not for reasons I thought it'd be. My body is flooded with desire and eagerness. A soft sound escapes me when his cock starts to harden. Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die, indeed. I want it. You're mine, slut. Shut your fucking mouth, fiend. I tense involuntarily for a moment.

Hizashi clears his throat and asks, "Do you want me to watch you undress too? Or would you rather I hop in the shower first and wait for you?"

"Can, um," I hold my shoulder shyly and flush darkly. "Can you hop in first?"

He kisses my cheek. "Of course." And then he takes off his glasses and disappears behind the curtain.

It takes me a few moments to re-coordinate my mind and breathe, but when I do, I feel comfortable enough to strip down and ready myself. It's going to be fine. It's going to be okay. He won't hurt you, Cub. He's safe. And then I step into the shower.

As promised, Hizashi keeps his distance. He doesn't even look at me for a while as he just lets the water run over him. When he finally does catch my eyes, I don't miss how his eyes widen. He makes a little grunt and his cock twitches again, but to his credit he restrains himself.

"Didn't know it was possible for you to look even more gorgeous without clothes, but here we are." He teases with a wink, before going back to getting cleaned off.

His comment simultaneously fuels my lust and allays my fears. He...he didn't just grab me and have his way. He's being very careful and sweet and...god, it's hot. I manage to make it through the entirety of the shower without feeling too uncomfortable or having a panic attack. The closest I get to panic is when he asks about a scar on my back where Kigai threw a book at me. Somehow, though, I manage to get through an explanation without crying.

When we hop out and dry off, my emotions begin growing more intense. There's a wet place between my legs that I simply can't dry off. We get dry and I stand up on my toes to pull him into a fiery kiss that draws a moan from deep inside. God, that feels better than I ever expected.

His response is eager but hesitant. He doesn't fully touch me until I guide his hands to my bare hips. His arousal presses against my belly in a mutual desire as I move my arms back around his neck and grip him tight. All of the hot and heavy needs rolling around my body have me seeing stars. I pull back with heavy pants and press my forehead against his to look at him hungrily.

"W-Why don't...we move this to the bed?" My neck heats up as I ask.

"Are you sure?" Worry flickers in his eyes.

"I'm sure. I'll tell you if I'm not."

"Then, may I carry you?" He asks first, hands hovering until I nod. Only then does he pick me up with a flourish and carry me over to the bed. He gently lays me across the pillows. "How do you want me?"

Not Kigai. Not Kigai. Not Kigai. I remind myself as he looks down at me so softly. I rub his arms and pull at him to urge him further down. Okay. It's fine. This feels good. He feels warm. "Kiss me more?" I request.

"Happily." He obliges, tasting like spearmint gum and wedding cake.

We make out like this for at least five minutes, though it feels like an eternity of blissful intimacy. I can feel Hizashi get harder the longer we go, and I could swear I've accumulated a little puddle between my thighs by now. So I brave the waters and skim my fingers along his sides, up his arms, and guide him to squeeze a breast.

The jolt of excitement I feel draws a moan from me. The surprise I feel is so palpable my eyes flash open and I grip his hair to pull him closer. I like that. I'm not scared of him. I want more. This is nothing like it was with Kigai. Good job, Little One. But be mindful; don't let your guard down. I heed the tiger's voice. As much as I want to go feral and pick up the pace, I want to be cautious. I've learned through therapy and non-sexual experiences that even when it starts out easy, sometimes my trauma hits me out of nowhere.

Thankfully, Hizashi's gentle hands help keep me in a right frame of mind. He squeezes my breasts again before pulling back for a moment, rubbing his thumb slowly over my nipples.

"Is this okay, lovebug?"

"Yes." I purr, arching up into his hands eagerly. "I like that a lot."

"Tell me if it becomes too much." He reminds me, before he kisses the little valley between both breasts. "Is that okay?"

"Mhmm..." I massage the hand massaging me. "You can use your mouth, I think. It should be okay."

Even though I assure him, he still moves slowly as he puts his tongue to work. He starts on the least sensitive spot on the soft flesh outside of my boob and slowly works back in to my nipple, asking before he moves in each time. Once he seems to think I've been properly doted upon up there, he pulls back with that familiar worried glaze in his eyes.

"You think you'll be okay if I work my way down? I don't want to rush you."

I gauge my emotions and arousal. My heart's haywire, but not from fear. I'm pretty sure I'll orgasm if he plays his cards right (something Kigai never managed despite touting his conquest of me anytime he could).

"I think it'll be okay. But can you keep moving slowly?" I plead, looking up at him with all the fondness and vulnerability I can muster.

"Of course. I never want to hurt you." He kisses me sweetly, moves up to press another kiss on my forehead, and then moves his hand to rub over my belly while he move his head down so our tongues can dance again.

Soon, his fingers find their mark.

"Fuck, you're soaked." His cock twitches against my thigh as I flush and hide my face behind my hands. His soothing voice lilts into my ear to comfort me. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm glad I make you feel so good. Can I move my fingers?"

"Mhmm..." Even though I don't really say words, my voice still quivers. Not Kigai! I take a few deep breaths to drive my orgasm away so I can talk better."Just...start with my clit a little bit. Don't go straight in yet. I-I need a little more work-up so it'll feel better."

"You got it, lovebug."

His fingers play me like an instrument. And I've learned by now just how good he is at playing any instrument he gets his hands on. He plucks and presses my buttons experimentally until I'm singing out his composition. His finger rings around my clit as he bites my neck. The flurry of pleasure rushing down between my legs surprises me. I didn't think I'd like biting, but color me hot and bothered!

"Zashi!" I yelp out as my back comes off the bed. Endorphins rush through my body as I nearly cum right then. "A-Almost. So close." I pant, trembling under his hands.

"Good, lovebug. Do you want me to rub your clit some more or cum on my fingers?"

I squeak in embarrassment and I give him a half-lidded smile. "I want to feel your fingers...to see if it's going to be okay."

"I'll go slowly. Tell me if you're uncomfortable at any point." He coos, before a finger caresses my entrance. We watch each other as my orgasm builds and he seeks to please me without hurting me.

"I'm going to two now..." He breathes, eyes dilated and hungry as he pushes in another digit and I moan.

My fingers grip his hair and the sheets. So close. Almost there. Please. He keeps the pace slow until I beg him to move a little faster, unable to wait any longer. Almost as soon as he picks up the pace, I'm driven over the edge.

Only right before I cry out his name, I stop. If Kigai knows I'm feeling this good...he'll get jealous. Instinctively, I find my head lulling back as I stare blankly at the ceiling even as sweet bliss floods my senses. You know how good I made you feel, little whore? And you're giving HIM your orgasm?! STOP! You only brought my cub sorrow, bastard. At least Hizashi knows how to please her before himself, you selfish fuckboy.

"Ichan?" Hizashi notices the change instantly and pulls back completely. He turns on his side and covers his bottom half under the covers as he looks at me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Was that too much? I should have–" But he never finishes.

A sob bursts out of my chest. I cover my face with my hands as the aftershocks of my orgasm bleed into the discordant notes of trauma wracking my body. I want to focus on the pleasure but only pain drips down my cheeks.

"He never made me orgasm." I blubber out, whimpers trickling out of my throat. "I-It felt...like I was going to get in trouble because that was the first time...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

"Hey, shh..." He rubs my shoulder and kisses my cheek. "I'm here. No one's going to hurt you. You're allowed to feel good, lovebug. I'm glad I could make you feel good."

I sniffle as I turn over each of his words, breathing through each of them.

"You're not upset...that you didn't orgasm first...?" I ask fearfully.

"Ichan, if I had my way, I'd make you orgasm until my name was the only thing you could say. It's my pleasure to make you feel good. If I orgasm, that's an icing on the cake, but your happiness will always come first for me." He places his hand at my cheek as he looks at me in earnest.

In a tentative attempt at shouldering past the trauma Kigai left and recapturing the mood, I wrap my arms around his neck and tug at his lip with my teeth.

"Thank you." The sentiment hangs in the air like a comforting shroud for a few moments as we just hold each other. I stare up into the tender yellow of his eyes until I think I'm ready to continue. "I'm ready to try more...if you are?"

"I'm ready only if you're sure you're okay." He kisses my forehead again and combs his fingers through my hair. "How do you want me?"

Kigai's voice still tickles my ears as I think about my next request, but I grit my teeth, take a deep breath, and surge forward. You're mine, whore. You don't get to tell me that I'm yours anymore. Because I'm not! "Can...can you kiss me a little more and then...maybe try...going inside?"

It's a big step. I know it's a big step. But my stubborn determination and Shouta's reassurance ringing in my head that Hizashi will stop anytime I ask him makes the decision. Besides, I've always been driven by my emotions. And right now I'm high on feel-good hormones.

"Are you sure, lovebug? I can move slower if you need me to." Even as he says it, I can tell from his expression that he's eager. And who could blame him? I feel the same.

"I'm sure. I'll tell you if it's too much." I promise.

He doesn't go in right away, even after I reassure him. He's good to me and smatters kisses all over every inch of skin he finds while his fingers work me up again. I close my eyes and allow myself to feel good for once. This...this is what intimacy is supposed to feel like.

"I'm going to move in, lovebug." His voice is strained and I feel his hand on my cheek.

I open my eyes and give him a flushed grin. "Okay, Zashi. I'm okay."

As he moves in, I go from okay to good to great to exquisite. It takes some time - he's still very hesitant - but by the time he's fully buried himself inside me, my thoughts are a mixture of electricity and heady clouds. I start realizing why people call it cloud nine.

"Shit..." He breathes in my ear, sending a pleasant tremor straight down my shoulders and spine. He tries to move away from me but I hold him closer. "You okay?"

"Can you...talk in my ear some more...?" I squeak out, my hips already moving to try and get some friction. We've learned auditory cues are a big trigger for me. I wonder if having some positive auditory cues will help me relax? It's worth a shot. But be on your guard.

I can hear him smirk before he chuckles and gets in close again.

"Like this?" He purrs softly, sending my eyes rolling in my head. "Do you want me to tell you how much I love you? How sweet and loveable you are? How gorgeous?" With each word, he washes away my inhibitions and I feel my muscles relaxing. "I'm going to move now, lovebug. You still okay?"

"Yes." I groan, craning my neck over to indulge in a hot kiss.

I pull back and start trailing my fingers around the shells of his ears resulting in a response that makes me feel good inside. I feel his hips spasm and the high-pitched whine he unleashes in my ear has my body shuddering against him.

"So good...touch me more." His pace grows, and so does my need. "Make me feel good with those delicate fingers. Let me make you feel good, too."

"Zashiiiii..." I whine, moving up to lick his ear to see if that makes him feel good too. I'm not disappointed with the sounds he makes. "You feel good...it doesn't hurt...I love you so much." I whimper as he moves faster and harder.

When we're both at our limit and our orgasm begins to clash together in perfect harmony, Kigai's voice tries to interrupt again. No! You're not in control of me anymore. She's not your puppet!

So when we finally break together? Hizashi's name is the only one in my mind and on my lips.

[d3pr3ss3d-kitty]

this will be a long vent

yk what? i thought that i can be happy for a while. maybe like 2 weeks ago i started thinking about recovery and taking care of myself.

now i want to kill myself more than i’ve ever wanted to do it.

yesterday my therapist told me that I AM the problem, and yeah i know it, but now i REALISED it (if you know what i mean).

and hey, if i’m the problem i should work on myself to be a better person.

but i’ve tried

i’ve tried and tried and tried but always failed

and it’s way easier to kill myself. i thought that some people will care so i didn’t try to kms before. now i realised that with me some of their problems will just disappear.

my only friends live on the other side of the country and i can’t even see them once a month because my dad won’t let me.

i’m going to meet them this saturday after 4 months.

after that i’ll probably just commit because nothing matters i hate my life i hate my school i hate everything everything annoys me please i just want to die i won’t ever be happy helll

i’m afraid that i won’t be able to do it because i’m a poussy and i will be like “nah”

like please i just wanna end it no one will care anyway

if if they’ll care they’ll realise i did it not only for me and that i did it for them

please just let me commit