#please help my mother might actually be a closeted lesbian

[potat0bag]

based loosely off of today’s IRL events

[our-transmasculine-experience]

Sorry this is a bit of rant, but I hate toxic masculinity and gender norms so so so much because now I'm subscribing to them, and I cannot stop myself. Sometimes I want to wear a dress, but if I do, or even so much as think about it, my body shudders or I want to vomit. Because the idea of being seen as feminine even in the slightest way physically hurts me, and its all because of the way I was raised. I'm in an extremely conservative household, and there is so much toxic masculinity. My brother has fucking curls for gods sake, he is a cis man and my dad makes remarks about how its gay (otherwise sayings its feminine) to take care of his curls!

Now me being a closeted trans guy, every time I hear my dad talking to my brothers, or talking to other men when women are around there is such a stark line between the two groups. My dad and his friends and my brothers are MANLY MEN AND WOMAN CANNOT BE IN THE MEN GROUP while the women around me kind of drag me into the stereotypical womanly position and giggle and joke around and there's so much internalised misogyny. I had my mother the other day berate me for not shaving my own damn legs, her big point was that it was 'unhygienic' even though my dad is covered in hair. Then the real point came out, apparently not shaving my legs makes me look like a lesbian!

It sucks man, it just sucks. I love my brother though because even though he also as equally as transphobic as them, he doesn't subscribe to their weird toxic masculinity and honestly he's the closest I'll ever come to being out of the closest.

I used to think my sister might be in the closest but as we get older and she conforms more and more to my parents ideologies I realise I was just fooling myself. And I hate being like this, because my family are good people in general and their not unkind to me, or treat me poorly, they treat me really well, I'm really well off and I'm grateful to them. But if I ever came out, I would be cut from this family so quick it would make my head spin.

Being around all these stereotypes just feeds my insecurities because sometimes when I listen to the things the men around me say I know its so misogynistic and I know I should strive to be better than that, but I can't help but really want to fit in with them because all I want to be seen is as a boy. But I never will be. I really really fucking hate it (excuse the language) when the women in my family try to pull me into their side. I hate that my older brothers just see me as my dad's daughter from his second marriage, I love them so much and I just want to be friends with them but I'll never get that, my younger brother will though BECAUSE HE'S A CIS MAN!

Its selfish, I'm really selfish for thinking like this, because I live really really well, I have parents who love me even its not for who I actually am, and we have money. Seeing how bad others are living compared to me and then complaining about my household is selfish I know. I just wish these stereotypes would go away, I wish I wasn't trans, I wish I was a normal girl, but I'm not, I'm a boy, I'll never be a girl and it's the worst thing in the world. It doesn't help either that I'm bisexual and got outed by my so-called best friend and had to pretend it was just a phase that I grew out of. I want to scream, but I can't, and I won't. Because if I ever want to succeed in this world, I need my family's support.

I hate this, because I do love my father and my mother and my brothers. I just know they only love the girl they see. That's what I hate. My mother keeps telling me to dress like a girl, to be a normal girl, and honestly her acknowledging that I am not like your average female is the closest I'll ever get with her acknowledging that I'm trans. But I still love them, I love them so much, please don't think that they are bad people because they really aren't. I just cannot fucking stand how they continue to think that trans people aren't really trans or that being trans is 'demonic' its screwing with my head. I know they would never utter a bad word against a gay or trans person they met in real life but god the things they say when the curtains close.

Not to mention that all the stereotypes have ruined having children for me. I want children, I want to get married, but I can't! I can't get married! I can't have children because all I can think about is how that is the 'WOMAN'S POSITION' EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT! But if I ever have kids or get married, I will be shoved right into the 'I told you so' 'You're a woman!' I will be put in the feminine box, and I hate it! I will just be another woman who got married to a guy that pretends to be nice in public but is not so nice at best and full on abusive at worst behind the scenes which seems to be the constant with every woman I know. God forbid I ever married a woman!

Sorry that this was long, I really needed to rant. I'm honestly so grateful that the internet exists because I can't be out in real life, but I can be out online, even if no one actually knows who I am. Thank you for listening have a great day! I love your page so much it brings me so much comfort and joy!

i would get tf out of that environment as soon as you can. never apologize for feeling unhappy with that situation because most people would be, too. that sounds horrible, and i’m really really sorry that you have to go through that.

best of luck, brother.

[forthesanityofsketches]

HAPPY (Post)-INTERNATIONAL LESBIAN DAY to you my friend!!! 

My name is B. A closeted lesbian who's looking to come out to her family this month. In my almost two years of existence on this blog, I've read different “coming out stories” which has been a whole motivation to me- I hereby set a day in mind, to come out to my family. However things took a turn as my mom who i thought would be free of her ovarian cancer by said date developed a kidney problem just after ovarian cancer- she means the whole world to me and her acceptance is what I yearn for with my coming out. She has always said we should allow her die and has been unmotivated about life until her birthday few weeks ago (sept 11) where a whole lot of people on this app sent their good wishes, drawings, and words of encouragement to her. We turned everything sent into a blanket for her and she's been wrapping herself with the love she received- she wants to live again and fight for the sake of strangers who believed in her(so she said). The medical personnel admits it is the best time to have her surgery (Ureteral Stent Placement surgery) because she has the right mood and mindset. Unfortunately for us, we are 500$ away from getting her surgery, it’s almost a month after her birthday and her fighting spirit is dying- I also can't come out to a dying mother- I need her to be fine before my coming out date(20th Oct). We've created a crowdfunding link for her but we've only raised 225$ of 500$. On this OUR special day, Would you please help not only my mom but my coming out plan by donating whatever you can spare for my mom's surgery? No matter how small, This would go a longer way than you think- please click the link below to support I and my family:

buymeacoffee.com/Plantlover

You can also find more information about her Ovaria cancer/ infected kidney on my pinned post.  Thank you for sticking with us through thick and thin. 

Mmmmm...Pass.

Firstly, sending this ask to this blog instead of my main is a weird choice.

Secondly:

Thirdly, I actually had a parent that died of cancer, and that anniversary is coming up next month. Thanks for the reminder, as if I didn't have enough of them. But point is that if I, personally, were trying to raise money for them with that story I would definitely at least have pictures of the blanket posted in my blog at least, if not in that ask itself, along with a shout-out to the people that gave the well-wishes, drawings, and words of encouragement. Or in the very least, tag them as validation when people like me and the person above feel like this might be a scam.

[reluctanx]

𝘽𝙉𝙃𝘼 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉 >> CLASS 1-B. || Fem!s/o

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘿𝙀𝘿: neito monoma, itsuka kendo, sen kaibara, ibara shiozaki, tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, reiko yanagi, setsuna tokage

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 (𝙎) : n/a [?]

-Neito Monoma

!! 🧺 | he’s actually very sweet, just a bit playful with you

!! 🧺 | he cracks joke just to make you laugh because your smile means EVERYTHING to him

!! 🧺 | i’m pretty sure he’s a nerd at color theory and would ALWAYS point out how beautiful your eyes are. even if it has a darker shade, he just knows that it’s a beautiful color that he loves so much

!! 🧺 | he doesn’t let other people touch his bunnies besides kendo, you may also be the exception

!! 🧺 | overly dramatic because he knows you can’t possibly, truly handle his bullshit

!! 🧺 | his teenager crush on you is so adorable, because he’s always in denial. or refuses to admit he have a crush on you

!! 🧺 | seeing that you’re not comparing him to a villain because of his quirk, wether it’s a joke or not. you automatically gain a part of his trust and respect. deadass

!! 🧺 | he bullies people for a reason, and you better deal with that

!! 🧺 | very argumentative, trying to fight with him with controversial topics is useless

!! 🧺 | LET. HIM. TOUCH. YO. HAIR………. pls

!! 🧺 | even if he tries, he can’t keep up late at night. HE WILL fall asleep, so sometimes you’ll be left on read accidentally-

!! 🧺 | when texting… he’s a total different person omg

!! 🧺 | no because if your seat is next to his, he will pass you the answers for the math exam.. (don’t lie, i know you’re a total dogshit at this subject. )

!! 🧺 | he’s a real big fan of Vlad king so you better be prepared seeing some of his merch in his closet

!! 🧺 | seeing you in his clothes makes him feel weird. he’ll try to make fun of you but he’s just really flustered to look at cha’ i swear

!! 🧺 | it’s rare to see him swear, so when he do so.. dear god..

!! 🧺 | HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BODY SHAPE, SIZE OR WHATEVER, HE LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND HE WILL REMIND YOU THAT

!! 🧺 | “you love me o’ sooo much it makes you look stupid.”

!! 🧺 | “don’t tell kendo about this, but i like you. for real.”

!! 🧺 | pronouns first with this man, pronouns = priority, pronouns respected. period.

!! 🧺 | he would be such a simp for you..

!! 🧺 | not obsessive or possesive, per se just jealous in a healthy way

!! 🧺 | “i’m literally a low quality version of bakugo.”

!! 🧺 | THEATRICAL, AS FUCK.

-Itsuka Kendo

!! 🧸 | SHE’S LITERALLY A SWEET HEART *SOBS SOBS*

!! 🧸 | she acts like your big sister sometimes.

!! 🧸 | she’s so shy and intimidated when she gets to date you bro..

!! 🧸 | your hero name? your hero costume? gives no shit, she find everything about you AMAZING.

!! 🧸 | you’re the little spoon, don’t prove me wrong, you’re the little spoon

!! 🧸 | she finds you so cute (especially if you have chubby cheeks, cause like uuuUhhh…)

!! 🧸 | she dresses you up when ya’ll get a girl days

!! 🧸 | she doesn’t know how to cook, depending on your cooking skills; either you get to cook or ya’ll order sum shit idk

!! 🧸 | she have a whole romantic cottagecore playlist dedicated for you whenever she thinks about you i swear.

!! 🧸 | you participates in her activity of : “knocking-down-neito-whenever-hes-been-an-ass”

!! 🧸 | can’t even afford to scold you the first time ya’ll meet, you’re so beautiful *sob sob*

!! 🧸 | if you’re in a social group space, you’re her favourite person, ya’ll are the duo of the friend group

!! 🧸 | “can’t sleep? that’s okay me too.”

!! 🧸 | picky, very picky eater. ya’ll may have trouble ordering something.

!! 🧸 | you’re the ticklish person, she’s the tickler. if you’re not, she’ll helplessly try to tickle you..-

!! 🧸 | “SPIDER, SPIDER!!”

!! 🧸 | your luck booster, i stg

!! 🧸 | she likes seeing you with fake cat ears, you look so adorable in her perspective

!! 🧸 | “LET’S WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE!!”

!! 🧸 | fast typer when texting.

!! 🧸 | you’re her angel, you are.

!! 🧸 | wants to be a make-up artist somedays.. so you better be ready and prepare to be a mannequin.

!! 🧸 | “you’re so weird *faces you* you’re so weird.”

!! 🧸 | 256 HOURS LONG OF TALK AND CHATS WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A LONG TIME FRIEND AT THE MALL

!! 🧸 | she wants to be a princess, your princess

!! 🧸 | SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER HAIR AND SHE WILL FLUSH

!! 🧸 | “why are you so pretty 🥺’

!! 🧸 | cottagecore lesbians :)

!! 🧸 | holding your hands + kisses + pecks on the lips, physical affection <<<<<<<<

!! 🧸 | gives you her stuffies, trust me she have LOADS of stuffies

!! 🧸 | BLUSHES SO HARD WHEN YOU WEAR HER CLOTHES

Sen Kaibara

!! 📢 | you don’t understand, the amount of love he holds for you is HUGE!

!! 📢 | fairly confident when he’s fighting by your side, you give him confidence..

!! 📢 | bad habits to compare your beauty with his

!! 📢 | trying to make him blush? oh honey, you don’t have to try once you have a relationship with him..

!! 📢 | his smile <<<<<<<<<<<<<

!! 📢 | usually quiet but tends to be talkative ONLY to you

!! 📢 | his heart beats faster and faster when you get close to him, but his face says 😐

!! 📢 | “kiss me already, dummy”

!! 📢 | really likes anime actually, ya’ll watch animes or read mangas sometimes :)

!! 📢 | *strokes strokes, scrubs scrubs your hair gently*

!! 📢 | thinks you look so cute in his clothes but doesn’t mention it

!! 📢 | secretly tries to get one of the things you crave for (an item, celebrity’s autograph idk sum shit)

!! 📢 | mockery against you? not on his watch.

!! 📢 | his love language is physical touch *sobs sobs*

!! 📢 | rubs your hand gently to calm you down when you feel anxious

!! 📢 | old times french love songs of edith piaf is his jam..

!! 📢 | hopeless romantic :c

!! 📢 | insecure? not on his watch,

!! 📢 | gives you his juice box to you and only to you

!! 📢 | you’re his first kiss

!! 📢 | BEST HUG GIVER

!! 📢 | the type to put your hair behind your ears

!! 📢 | “you’re my everything..”

!! 📢 | KISSES YOUR CHEEKS INTENSIVELY

!! 📢 | loves to feel euphoric, you make him euphoric

!! 📢 | you get the blower during summer lmao

!! 📢 | buys you loads of icecreams during summer

!! 📢 | go to the heater side during winter, right now, right here.

!! 📢 | everything you ask somethinh, he’ll answer instantly

!! 📢 | want something? dont worry, sen gotchu’

!! 📢 | SIMP

!! 📢 | wants to be someone truly meaningful to you

!! 📢 | you make him feel special for doing literally nothing

!! 📢 | he loves you, so so much.

Ibara Shiozaki

!! 🌱| literally the momo yaoyorazu of class 1-b but more theatrical

!! 🌱| you kinda just already knew that she have a preference for girls

!! 🌱| “mo- mother nature? what kind of silly things are you spouting out of that mouth of yours…”

!! 🌱| you are literally babied by her

!! 🌱| good baker and easily make your favorite dish/dessert

!! 🌱| you’re her top priority, and she carefully pays attention to you. deadass, she’s the type to wipe your mouth with her favorite tissue while she’s talking about a serious matter with her teamates bro

!! 🌱| she’s such a nerd in the rom-com industry, and gets pretty shy when you proceed to do something that is similar to a scene about one of her few rom-com movies. (ex: kadebon)

!! 🌱| she laughs so easily..

!! 🌱| “you’re so precious.”

!! 🌱| she showed all the symptoms of “crushing” back then, and you already knew that.

!! 🌱| everytime you hype her up, she smiles widely

!! 🌱| she’s so gift giving, she can’t leave you without giving you a gift first

!! 🌱| all the gifts you gave her stays safe and sound in her room

!! 🌱| “i might never be your hero, but i’ll be the winner of your heart.”

!! 🌱| she wants you to wear her clothes so ya’ll can match :)

!! 🌱| she’s quite wealthy, so she buys you some expensive gifts that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| always wrap her arms around you everywhere

!! 🌱| teases you but a lot

!! 🌱| she likes to do gardening stuff with you

!! 🌱| full knowledge on plants, every flowers she offers you was because of a characteristic that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| her efforts to be committed in your relationship is so visible

!! 🌱| always slips a little ‘I love you” everydays

!! 🌱| your love, affection and attention is enough to repay her for her consistent efforts.

!! 🌱| gets easily jealous but tries to hide it, but you obviously can tell due to her uncontrollable blush

!! 🌱| as she is so gift giving, you’ll try to argue with her saying she doesn’t need to give her this much gifts

!! 🌱| she gets overwhelmed when you make out of an exam/mission

!! 🌱| loves to give you a head massage while reading a book

!! 🌱| come and stargaze with her >:|

!! 🌱| kisses the back of your hand

!! 🌱| show you off when she have the chance to

!! 🌱| compared to what you may have assumed, she puts a lot of trust in her words when showin’ you off.

!! 🌱| “everyday and everynight, you make me happy just by thinking of your silly little face.”

!! 🌱| HELPS YOU WITH HOMEWORK

!! 🌱| SLEEPOVERS!!

!! 🌱| she felt insecure about her hair, so the fact that you had he audacity to pet her head made her fall inlove with you.

!! 🌱| gets genuinely confused when you laugh at her dramatic behavior

!! 🌱| her humor is kinda bad, so she may laugh at the stupidest thing ever

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

!! 🦈| oh boy, everything would be so wild with him

!! 🦈| you cannot leave the room without giving him a hug first

!! 🦈| awkward, like really

!! 🦈| “you’re the most coolest— beautifulest—…uuh.. person!”

!! 🦈| doesn’t academically succeed a lot, but puts a lot of efforts in his works. every praises you give him makes him smile

!! 🦈| makes you laugh without him knowing

!! 🦈| please, he probably starts to laugh when you start talking too fast because he doesn’t understand-

!! 🦈| in summer, he turns his arms into steel so you can grip against it (since steel is usually cold)

!! 🦈| probably have adhd

!! 🦈| loves to caress your cheeks

!! 🦈| sometimes kisses your little fingers for fun

!! 🦈| buddies to lover trope :D

!! 🦈| uses kaomoji than emojis

!! 🦈| his favorite song is teenage dirtbag

!! 🦈| he requires a good listener as his s/o, because he is a very talkative person and bring numerous topics and persons at the same time when talking to him

!! 🦈| “you’re extra-beautiful..”

!! 🦈| offers a fish related plushie

!! 🦈| shows off his abs for you

!! 🦈| two dumb hoes doing shit trope

!! 🦈| “you kinda remind me of an otter..?

!! 🦈| “wanna be a teenage dirtbag with me?”

!! 🦈| he calls you the popular girl of the school for a reason.. 😭

!! 🦈| calls you tetsutetsu junior when you wear his clothes

!! 🦈| openly admit that ya’ll are in a relationship to everyone

!! 🦈| is actually ticklish himself-

!! 🦈| loves to kiss your forehead

!! 🦈| loves to point out how cute you are

!! 🦈| definitely introduces you to fatgum and kirishima

!! 🦈| he can’t really came up with a petname.. so he’ll give you stupid ones

!! 🦈| as you can tell, he’s clearly not experienced but he tries, for you :)

!! 🦈| okay but power couple

!! 🦈| “if you steal the blankets, i am about to put my cold feets on you.”

!! 🦈| gets out of hands when he’s too excited

!! 🦈| gives you back hugs when you’re not feeling well

!! 🦈| best caregiver 🥺

!! 🦈| adores you

!! 🦈| play games with you :)

!! 🦈| sends you stupid note under the door whenever you’re taking a shit-

Reiko Yanagi

!! 👻|| you managed to get on her soft side when you told her that she wasn’t weird in any ways

!! 👻|| very quiet and patient with you

!! 👻|| really doesn’t wish to disturb or scare you, but she can’t let go of you — you were so nice

!! 👻|| when you tease her.. she’s a blushing mess

!! 👻|| you’re the only person she hangs most of her time with

!! 👻||she thinks that you’re so, so cool.

!! 👻|| doesn’t know how to react to all of your compliments, just knows how to cuddle

!! 👻|| she makes you listen to her favorite genre of music

!! 👻|| she tries her best to make your relationship with her dynamic as possible!

!! 👻|| with that say, praising is one of her top quality

!! 👻|| as much as she doesn’t know how to handle your praise, she can slap you back with her

!! 👻||”hey.. how abour we kiss? uh- um.. if- if you want to.”

!! 👻|| is actually a good kisser-

!! 👻|| her only way to calm you down was to kiss you when you get overwhelmed

!! 👻|| reiko is a really good listener and would literally listen to your 5 hours long story as she stare at you the whole time

!! 👻|| when you mention that her bags were really cool… good job bro, now she loves you

!! 👻|| SHE’S SO CLINGY, LIKE REALLY CLINGY

!! 👻|| unexpectedly good in video games

!! 👻|| “w-whoa.. i didn’t expected you to wear my clothes..you look adorable..”

!! 👻|| gets truly passionate when talking about paranormal facts

!! 👻|| she loves to play with the strands of your hair

!! 👻|| quality time <<<<<<<<

!! 👻|| would always remind you how beautiful you are

!! 👻|| once you have her sweater wrapped around your body, it’s officially yours now because she says so

!! 👻|| soft spokesperson with you bro..

!! 👻|| seems more confident when texting

!! 👻|| she loves taking pictures of you

!! 👻|| she probably wanted to make you visit the beach during the sunset

!! 👻|| she’s so proud of you..

!! 👻|| “oh, you deserve all of the praises of the world.”

!! 👻|| can’t even look at you in the eyes,, you’re so CUTE!!

!! 👻|| never leave you alone, never will or would

!! 👻|| always grips on your shirt so that you don’t get to be lost in a mission

!! 👻|| regularly checks up on you

!! 👻|| gives you LOADS of snacks during lunch

Setsuna Tokage

!! 🐊| COMMITTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP

!! 🐊| literally takes you out everywhere on ya’ll date

!! 🐊| don’t be shy, skateboard with her

!! 🐊| literally asks to be partnered up with you during the sport festivals

!! 🐊| will do everything for you

!! 🐊| have a reptile pet, you’re the only person knowing about that

!! 🐊| CHERISH YOU UNTIL SHE DIES

!! 🐊| “my sweet sweet pumpkin pie!”

!! 🐊| “let me kiss you until you can’t handle me anymore, darling.”

!! 🐊| she loves snuggling to your neck and leave soft kisses

!! 🐊| eyes contact is important

!! 🐊| you’re her favourite person

!! 🐊| ya’ll be ruining your sleep schedule for each other

!! 🐊| you guys always wear something that matches with the other (a hat, item, shirt.. etc.)

!! 🐊| setsuna announces her relationship with you to the class as if she proposed to you in a mariage

aight ya’ll, bye!

[notmrskennedy]

NSYNC’s Greatest Hit

Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

A/N - So I wrote this on national coming out day in like twenty minutes. Here we are much later but I hope you like it. Hopefully as much as I liked my bestie’s edits on it (btw I hope you get the title joke - I’m such a nerd whoops)

Summary - Reader doesn’t know how to tell their best friend that they’re bi...

W/C - 1.4k

Warnings - I swear like a sailor’s mother and general coming out anxiety 

----------

“So, did you like the movie?” he asks and if I’m completely being honest, I’ve forgotten he’s speaking to me. Spencer’s been splitting his time between excitedly explaining what I think might be the plot of this Saturday night movie, and animatedly telling the Saturday night movie—and I might be wrong—to fuck off. But I can’t be 100% sure.

Because the movie’s in Korean.

And he’s forgotten how to speak English for the last hour and a half.

I’ve known Spencer for a really long time, and we’ve had our fair share of grievances over the last however long we’ve been practically family. My biggest problem with him, though, was that he never would explain the plot of a movie to me in English. He would sit on my couch, eat my popcorn, promise that this time will be different, and then explain an entire Korean film to me in Korean. As if I hadn’t barely passed high school!

Sure, I never really mind the rambling—English, or whatever his new language obsession is—but tonight is different. Tonight, I’m more focused on where my ex-roommate had stashed her very forgotten vodka bottle in this stupid apartment. Or if the liquor store around the corner would sell to a girl who didn’t really look 23 and had lost her license.

I know Spencer is staring at me, but I can’t break the circle of thoughts. Vodka, liquor store, vodka, liquor store, vodka—

Can’t he stop looking at me? Can’t he stop looking at the sweat beading on my forehead? Just quit analysing the way I’m biting my nails off, finger by finger? Can’t he just stop looking? Before I fucking combust?

It’s hard enough to admit to myself that maybe—just maybe—I’m not just jealous of pretty girls. And maybe—just maybe—it’s not all that dissimilar to how I look at pretty boys. Because there are a lot of girls that are pretty. Ethereal. Too fucking hot for me to form a coherent sentence.

How is this unobservant idiot going to take the news? I didn’t take it well, and I admitted it to myself!

Here we are, sitting on this ragged old couch—the one that he nearly had a coronary over when I told him I’d got it over Craigslist—imprinted with the pair of us. What am I going to do if he doesn’t take the news well and I have to stare at this couch every day? What am I going to do with a reminder of the friendship I’d lost?

“Y/N? Am I speaking Korean again?” he asks again and I swallow in acknowledgement. If I just move my head. Come on, Y/N, just look at him. There’s no point though; if I look at him, I have to actually tell him. Actually come out of the closet. I haven’t thought up a good joke yet to ease the inevitable pain.

But he’s Dr. Freaking Spencer Reid, FBI profiler! Shouldn’t he be able to see right through me? He should know. It would be so much easier if he just knew. I want him to be able to read my mind and tell me what I should tell him.

“It’s not Korean,” I finally manage to force out. His eyebrows furrow, his cheeks tighten, his brain is working three million miles an hour to determine if I’m dying.

It’s not dying, it’s...wanting to shrink back into the couch cushions so I don’t have to work up the courage. The courage I’ve been trying to work up for weeks. The courage that is keeping my eyes on the screen even as the credits begin to roll.

He nudges me with his elbow. “Are you—are you okay? You seem kind of shaken up.”

I chance a glance at his adorable, concerned, puppy eyes and think about crying. This is Spencer—my best friend—and if he doesn’t know already, then maybe I should just stay in the closet.

What if I shattered our relationship? I mean, I know that Spencer isn’t going to hate me over this, but my brain is throwing a fit. I feel like I could run or puke ‒‒even before I’ve had the chance to drown my worries with an entire liquor store‒‒ or god, maybe both. My brain is screaming that he’ll laugh, make some comment about a threesome. I mean, what if Dr. Spencer Reed was secretly some dude-bro in a…fantastic disguise?

Peeking over, he’s definitely not a dude-bro. The rose-coloured tie is hint enough.

Spencer was so adamant about routines, distrusted change, thrived on reliability. We’d been having the same ancient fight over who was the better Doctor for at least eight years. If I changed, would he recover? Let alone, would I recover if this changed our friendship? Could I still live up to his expectations? Would he still just see me as me? Would I no longer be Y/N, but attention-seeking, indecisive Y/N?

Jesus Christ, they don’t tell you that coming out is way too fucking nerve-wracking at Orientation to Not Being Heterosexual.

“Earth to Y/N,” Spencer sing-songs, “what’s going on?”

Oh, yeah. Gotta use actual real-life words. “Oh, right, yeah. Sorry, I just—I’m just—why is this so freakin’ hard?”

Spencer groans, whines, and then drops his head into his hands. “Morgan was right, right? You’re in love with me or something and I just—“

“What?” I turn entirely towards him. Don’t even bother keeping the shock off my face. “Derek thinks I’m in love with you?”

I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out. Even when he blushes and stutters and can’t look me in the eyes anymore. It’s a blinding change of pace. He runs his fingers through his hair, tries not to let his voice wobble too much. “Are you?”

I laugh harder and wipe the tears from my eyes. “No, I’m not in love with you, Spencer. You’re like my brother.”

The relieved sigh he lets out can be heard around the world. The ‘thank god’ is harder to miss.

“Dude, I can’t believe Morgan thinks I’m in love with you. Out of everyone on your team, I’d totally be screwing Elle.”

The silence is deafening. Oh shit.

Even with the air sucked out my lungs, I fill the fucking silence royally well. “I mean—I was—there—I was going to tell you that—that—that I think I’m bi—bisexual, I mean—you know? Women and men. Men and women?”

I glance over to Spencer—jaw dropped, eyebrows furrowed, nose pinched. I know it’s him just processing the two tons of information I’d just thrown at him. I know he’s just being Spencer about it, trying his best to think before he speaks. But Jesus, would it kill him to say something?

“It explains a lot,” he bluntly snorts. A truly unhelpful tidbit of information. I groan and think about curling into a little ball. He pauses to smile to himself, nudging my foot with his. “It’s not bad! Garcia just keeps talking about how much you smile at Elle and the whole cuffed jeans thing—it just—it just makes sense.”

It was my turn to drop my jaw, but he doesn’t stop trying to prove his point that everything is starting to make sense. If anything he gets more excited. “And did you know that 3.4 women identify as lesbian or bisexual? Or that 3.6 men do? Or that Americans are more likely to report same-sex attraction but not identify as part of the community?”

“So you aren’t weirded out?”

“No,” he answers, “Why would I be? Did you think I’d be upset? Is that why you’ve been weird?”

I scrub my hands over my face. “Um, yeah, Spencer. Usually, it’s pretty hard to come out of the closet. Especially to people you respect.”

He muddles over what I’ve said. His fingers keep digging at a crease in his pants. Maybe thirty seconds later—a long thirty seconds—he cocks his head to the side and states, clear as mud, “I would’ve thought it’d be easy because you know me. I mean, you know that about me.”

“Know what about you?”

“I thought you knew that I’m sexually attracted to men and women.”

My throat constricts—not because I’m freaked out about it—but because I’m freaked out. “Did I miss this conversation?”

“I mean, I told you about how hot the main character of the movie is. And about how his girlfriend is really hot too. Did you miss that part? I spent nearly the last half hour—”

“Korean, Spencer,” I sigh. “It was in fucking Korean.”

“Oh!” he chirps and squirms like a puppy. “In that case, we get to talk about it again!”

“English, please,” I beg, and everything seems as it should be. Even if seeing the indecisive nature of our Swedish fish and sour patch kids popcorn bowl means something a little more.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

where you go I'm going

My very first ThanZag fic!! It’s Modern AU and its soft and it has Mort!!

Huge thanks to @minky-for-short who this fic is written for and also to my girlfriend @spiky-lesbian who knows absolutely nothing about this game but her review was ‘SOFT BOYS’ 

Please consider reblogging and leaving a comment! 

--------------

Thanatos finds himself moving into his boyfriend's cramped little apartment with all its leaky pipes and street corner furniture and damp.

It's going to be a bit of an adjustment.

--------------

When they had announced they were moving in together, everyone had automatically assumed they’d be moving into Thanatos’ place. His neat, well kept, painstakingly decorated apartment in the heart of the city with it’s sunken living room and immense kitchen and windows that opened up onto a stunning vista of the skyline, all of it near new and barely used. Plenty of room for both of them, everything they could need, people didn’t think to ask and simply assumed that they would be starting their lives together there.

Thanatos had rather assumed the same.

But here he was, standing in the closest thing he had to casual clothes, surrounded by cardboard boxes into which his neat, well kept life had been hastily bundled, looking around the battered, cramped little apartment his boyfriend owned and trying to think of it as home.

His home. Their home.

Zag was darting around the place, full of energy as he always was when he got nervous, trying to help Than unpack but making a rather bad job of it. The moving truck had left half an hour ago and already two mugs had been broken and they’d bumped into each other six times, with less than one box worth of stuff actually being put away.

Not that Than was paying much attention. He was moving through the shoebox of an apartment, with it’s tiny kitchen and the living room with the sagging, patchy leather couch that he knew Zag got off a street corner, the bathroom barely big enough for one person let alone two, the bedroom that had less than an inch of space around the double bed Than had bought. Or, rather, it would when they finally got around to putting it together.

He got back to where he’d started in less than twenty paces. Standing inside this claustrophobic chaos, Thanatos took a very slow, very careful sigh.

“You’re not happy, are you?”

Than turned to see his boyfriend standing in his- their- bedroom doorway, finally stopped and, in doing so, letting his anxiety catch up with him and show clearly on his face.

Thanatos chided himself sharply and moved towards Zagreus, cupping his face in his hands. He was perpetually cold and Zag always ran a few degrees hotter than usual so, together, they were always perfect. They always gave each other what they needed.

“I am deliriously, completely happy, Zagreus,” Than murmured softly, surprising himself with how much he meant the words, “And that is because I am getting to share more of my life with you.”

“But we should have gone to your place, this was a ridiculous idea,” Zag sighed but they’d had this conversation before and Than knew what to say.

He’d not always felt that with Zagreus, as their relationship had shifted awkwardly from childhood friends to what they had now, as the words had stuck in their throats and refused to come. But now he could hardly remember a time when he hadn’t loved this man with all his heart and he hadn’t felt completely himself around him. Not Death, not the son of Nyx, not the Reaper. Just Thanatos. Than, even.

“It will take some adjustment,” he smiled and kissed his forehead, “But I know just how much this place means to you. It’s your freedom, it’s your independence. I know how hard you fought to break away from your father and I...well, I’m just glad you brought me along.”

Finally Zag relaxed into his hand and a smile tugged at his lips, “Could argue that you followed me…”

Than chuckled, “The one time I ever broke the rules and look where it’s got me.”

Zag laughed with him, his eyes lighting up with a new frantic energy, a happy one this time. He responded to most emotions like a child who’d had too much sugar.

“Come on, I think I’ve figured out how I can fit your insanely big mug collection into the cupboard,” he was already off, dragging boxes out and ripping them open, “Or books! We could start on your books, I know you have that weird system…”

“It’s the Dewey Decimal System, Zagreus, libraries have been using it for centuries…” Than rolled his eyes, aware that his boyfriend wasn’t really listening, allowing himself to be pulled along in Zag’s rushing currents as always.

They worked quite happily for a while, Zag kicking his old radio to life and blasting some cheesy classics that somehow made the job more bearable when you sang along to them. For hours they sorted through the boxes, pulling out things Than had forgotten he even owned, finding the strange and amusing ways their very different personalities and very different lives fit together.

Before too long the closet was stuffed with alternating neat pinstripe suits and gym clothes, expensive black peacoats and hoodies plucked from thrift stores with incomprehensible slogans printed on them. There was suddenly more than two plates in the kitchen and more than one fork, knife and even spoons of different sizes. The edge of the bath held a neat regiment of seek products, each with a specific role in putting the physical embodiment of Death together, crowding out the bottle of five-in-one soap with the peeling label.

They were finally on to the bedroom, Than having wrestled Zag into at least tackling the rooms one by one. Putting the bed together was proving a real challenge, Than had been squinting at the instructions for ages and was one more unidentifiable screw away from calling Aphrodite and getting her to put Hephaestus on the phone, however insulting he’d find the request. He’d lasted longer than Zag, at least, who’d moved off to poke through the last few boxes.

Than was wondering why he could only count six bed slats when he was meant to have ten when he heard Zag gasp and burst into delighted laughter.

“What?” he frowned at him over his square rimmed glasses.

“Look who it is!” Zag cackled, turning and holding out what at first looked like a tattered scrap of cloth covered in dust but Than’s cheeks immediately flamed.

“I...look, I meant to throw him out a while ago but…”

“It’s Mort!” Zag was beaming wildly, holding the little felt mouse up like a trophy, “Gods, I haven’t seen him in ages, I had no clue you still had him.”

“Um...neither did I…” Than spluttered, well aware that he was a terrible liar when it came to Zagreus.

He was about as fooled as he expected him to be, tsking playfully and wagging his finger, “No, no, no. I remember how much you loved this little guy when we were kids, you’d carry him around everywhere! Oh! Did you still sleep with him all tucked up under your arm? Do you still take him in the bath and cry when he gets wet?”

“You sleep in my bed with me, asshole! And we’ve bathed together,” Than made a grab for him but Zag was quicker, he always had been.

“Aw, looks like I have some competition for your affections then, eh darling? Aren’t you just the sweetest, little god of Death still playing with his childhood toy...”

“My mother made him for me!” Than finally burst out, cheeks redder and voice louder than he’d meant, “Of course I kept him! Now stop acting like a jerk and give him back!”

Zag froze, his teasing chased away from his face instantly. Meekly he dropped the arm holding Mort and let Than snatch him back, silent as his boyfriend turned his shoulder and hunched down sulkily.

“I...I’m really sorry,” Zag said quietly after a moment’s awkward silence, “I thought I was just playing with you but...I went too far, I’m sorry I upset you. I remember how important he was to you.”

“Well…” Than swallowed, face still smouldering, “It is foolish. To still have him around I mean.”

“Aw, no love, come on…” Zag slid closer, putting an arm around his shoulders, “What, you’re going to start listening to me all of a sudden. I’m an idiot!”

“You are,” Than murmured, finding himself coaxed up out of his sulk, “But you’re mine.”

That made him chuckle happily, stealing a kiss to the inch of his cheek he’d revealed, “And it is so cute that you still have Mort. I mean that, I really do. You’re adorable and a little soft and that’s completely okay.”

“Well. As long as it doesn’t leak into my work.”

He wasn’t looking at Zag’s face but he could tell he was rolling his eyes.

“Hey,” he tucked a strand of white hair away to kiss Than’s ear, “Remember that time you really did lose him? When we were six years old?”

Than smiled coyly, “I do. You missed your bedtime and got yourself grounded going off to look for him just so I would stop crying. Everyone else had given up but...you didn’t.”

“I didn’t,” Zag hummed, kissing just below his ear now, then lower, then lower, down his neck, pulling back the shoulder of his jumper to get at his shoulder, “I don’t give up, not when it concerns you, my dear.”

Than sighed, muscles unwinding under Zag’s lips, “Love, you might notice we don’t have a bed yet so I’m not sure where you think this is going?”

“Ah, my cherished parter...” Zag rumbled, hands slipping down to gently put Mort to one side and give him access to his boyfriend’s lap.

Than found himself being turned, his back pressed to the floor, felt a crooked grin blooming on his face as Zag threw his leg over him and bent low until their noses were brushing.

“I think we can manage, eh?” his boyfriend purred.

Afterwards, Than sat up and stretched the kinks out of his shoulders, sighing in satisfaction.

Zag stayed on the floor, his head pillowed on the jumper his boyfriend had been wearing as he sprawled out contentedly, eyes drinking in the play of Than’s muscles, “I really am happy you’re here, my love.”

“I’m happy to be here,” Than looked back at him with a soft, loving smile, lightly brushing one cheek with his fingertips, “I think I understand what you mean when you talk about how free it makes you, finding your own place. It feels like everything’s started again. And this time it will be better.”

“It will be,” Zag caught his hand and kissed his knuckles.

An idea came to Than then and an easy kind of certainty settled over him. He reached over and snagged Mort where he’d fallen to one side as they’d become more occupied in each other.

“Here,” he smiled, holding his cherished childhood toy out to Zagreus, “Here, I want you to have him.”

“What?” Zag blinked, not understanding. He pulled himself into a sitting position, “Mort is yours, you love him.”

“And I love you,” Than still held him out, “So I want him to be yours now. You’ve given me a place here, in the only space that had ever really been your own and...well, this seems like a good way to repay you.”

“You don’t have to repay me!” Zag insisted, shaking his head, “I mean, gods, you’re going to be putting up with me twenty four seven-”

“Gladly,” Than cut across him, knowing the thoughts in his boyfriend’s mind would grow too loud if he let them, “I will do it gladly, Zagreus. Please, he’s yours now.”

Chuckling softly, Zag relented and took Mort gently. He held the battered old toy with a kind of tenderness, brushing some dust from his ear, “Thank you, Than. I promise I’ll look after him.”

“Well,” Than smirked playfully, “I’ll still see him every day and I will check.”

“Oh, I’d expect nothing less, my love.”

When they eventually did get the bed put together, a longer time later than either of them would ever admit, Mort would take pride of place in the centre of it.

Than would see him nearly every day with his happy stitched smile and, when he did, he would think of the apartment he’d left behind. All it’s expensive minimalist furniture, it’s sleek metal and black leather and unlived in neatness.

And Thanatos wouldn’t miss it in the slightest. He knew he was home.

[hecksupremechips]

Lgbt movies, musicals and shows

Hey y'all so Christmas is coming up and we're bored so I thought I'd compile a list of all the LGBT stuff that I've seen! This list definitely doesn't include everything there is to see, just what I've seen. Hopefully you can look at this and find something you like!

Note: some of these movies/shows I really love, some... not so much. I put how many stars (in my opinion) they get at the end of each title. If you like a movie I don't, good for you. Vise versa. If you want me to go more into depth about a particular movie or show and my opinion on it or possible content warnings, please leave a comment or an ask. I love talking about this stuff so I'd be more than happy to answer questions (as long as they're not weird or inappropriate).

Okay let's go

The following movies are on Netflix

The Half of It- a smart girl befriends a kind jock when he asks her to write love letters for his crush-also her crush. Asian Lesbian protagonist. Five stars

Handsome Devil- a socially awkward boy at an all-boys boarding school that worships rugby is horrified to find that his roommate is a talented rugby player. Gay protagonists. Four stars

Alex Strangelove- a teenage boy and his girlfriend plan to have sex for the first time, but he questions his sexuality when he befriends a gay guy. Gay protagonist. One star

A New York Christmas Wedding- a woman gets to see a version of her life where she gets to marry her childhood best friend. Also it's Christmas. Lesbian/bi protagonist. Four stars

Moonlight- shows the three stages of the protagonist's life: his childhood and his relationship with his father figure, his teens and his relationship with his childhood friend, and his adult life. Gay Black protagonist. Five stars

Saturday Church- a teen questioning their gender forms a familial relationship with trans women after the death of his father. Queer, implied trans Black protagonist

Yes or No- a traditional girl starting college is horrified to find out her roommate is a butch lesbian. Asian lesbian protagonists, background bi girl character. Three stars

Disclosure- a documentary discussing the history of trans representation and its impact on trans people and society. Many trans actors are in it. Five stars

Other People- a man moves back in with his family to help his mother with cancer. Gay protagonist. One star

Freak Show- a new boy at school makes a reputation for himself by dressing in outlandish costumes. Gay protagonist. One star

Straight Up- a man with OCD who identified as gay begins to question his sexuality and forms a complex relationship with a woman. Queer Asian protagonist

These movies are not on Netflix. They might be found elsewhere, but I am unsure

Booksmart- two best friends who spent all of high school making good grades decide to spend the night before graduation partying. Lesbian protagonist. Five stars

But I'm a Cheerleader- a girl is sent to a conversion camp when her friends and family fear she's a lesbian. Note: the camp is treated very jokingly so it's not a terrifying/completely accurate portrayal. Lesbian protagonist, background gay men and lesbian characters. Four stars

Love, Simon- we all know it I assume. A closeted teenage boy befriends another closeted kid at his school and he is threatened to be outed to the whole school. Gay protagonist. Three stars

The Way He Looks- a blind teenage boy dreams to study abroad to prove himself and he begins to catch feelings for the new kid at school. Queer male protagonist. Four stars.

Boy Erased- a memoir telling the story of the time a gay teen spent at conversion therapy. CW: this movie is very dark and definitely do not watch it if you are triggered by sexual assault, suicide, and aggressive homophobia. Gay protagonist. Three stars

The Miseducation of Cameron Post- a lesbian is sent to a conversion camp where she befriends two outcasts who rebel against the Christian ideologies of the camp. CW: this movie does make fun of conversion therapy and has many lighter moments, but it still has dark content like aggressive homophobia and self harm. Lesbian protagonist, background queer and trans characters. Three stars

Hidden Kisses- a new kid faces bullying when a picture of him kissing another guy gets posted online at a party. CW: this movie doesn't seem to be for LGBT people at all. It's a lot of oppression porn. That's the movie. Gay protagonist. One star

GBF- a gay kid gets outed and becomes the "GBF" of the popular girls at school. Gay protagonist. One star

Musicals

Falsettos- a man name Marvin goes through a terrible divorce after being discovered as gay, but he tries to keep his ex, child, and boyfriend all in one family. Gay protagonist, background lesbian characters. Five stars

Fun Home- a musical based on Alison Bechdel's coming out memoir following her life as a college student coming out and her relationship with her secretly gay father. CW: while this musical is very fun and lighthearted, there is suicide, implied pedophilia, and verbal abuse. Lesbian protagonist. Five stars

Spies are Forever- an American spy in the 50-60s struggles to work again after the death of his lover. Gay protagonist. Four stars

Shows

I'll give a description of the show and then of the representation in it

Trinkets- a girl at a new school forms an unlikely friendship with two other girls at a shoplifters anonymous meeting. The main character is a lesbian and forms a relationship with another girl. Lesbian protagonist. Two stars

Special- a man with cerebral palsy lies about his condition to his new coworkers, saying he was in a car accident. Gay protagonist. One star

She-Ra- we know this one mate. A girl from an evil group discovers a sword that can turn her into a powerful princess. There's a large amount of LGBT characters so you won't be disappointed. Five stars

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts- a girl named Kipo finds herself on the surface surrounded by strange creatures called mutes. One of the characters is a gay black boy and he actually has a coming out scene where he says the word gay. All the main (human) characters are black or mixed as well. Five stars

Pose- a woman named Blanca takes in a homeless gay boy, a trans sex worker, and a former drug dealer to form a family and walk in balls. This show has great representation of trans women of color as well as queer men of color. Five stars

Twelve Forever- a young girl travels to the fictional land known as Endless to escape her fears of growing up. She is shown having crushes on girls and you can possibly also hc her as trans. Four stars

Steven Universe- we also know this one y'all. A half- human half-gem boy named Steven defends his town and the universe with the help of the crystal gems. Many LGBT characters, primarily wlw. Four stars

Never Have I Ever- a teenage girl tries to fix her reputation after the death of her father by becoming more aquatinted with the most popular guy in school. One of her friends has a coming out arc where she realizes she's a lesbian. It also has a very diverse cast and age appropriate actors. Five stars

One Day at a Time- a sitcom about a single Cuban mother and former veteran trying to juggle her family, job, and love life. Her daughter Elena has a coming out arc in the first season and dates a nonbinary character later in the show. Five stars

Queer Eye- a reality TV show about five gay men helping people get their shit together. We know this one. Five stars

That's about all I can think of. If anyone has any additional movies/shows they like, feel free to add! I am always desperate for more representation, specifically trans representation and some bi male rep. Have a gay ass Christmas you funky lil shits 🤡🤡🤡🌈

[arsonistblue]

BLUE YOU HAVE OCS???? Please tell me everything about them

AAAAAA YES I DO!!!!! I’m writing a book (technically a series) and they’re all my children

It’ll all be under the cut bc this might get long (It did) since I’ve don a fuckton of world and character building, plotting, and meticulously planning the books, and I have a feeling people will want me to shut up but it’s my blog and I get to rant about my book if I want to kjlsdfkjlsdf

(I kinda have to explain some of the worldbuilding to explain the characters)

Most of them are from a different dimension similar to the “human” dimension, called the Middle. They’re also like humans themselves, but they each have a “difference,” which is what they call their power, for lack of a better word. It’s called a difference because, even if two people have the same ability, say, they could both control water, it would still be different for each of them. They’d’ all have a calling, for lack of a better word. And their styles have to be self taught.

There are 6 people, 2 sets of triplets, who are called the Crest. The Crest were an experiment to try and create a solution to help fix a corrupted world that seemed utopian. Sector 13, a rebel organization trying to fix said corrupted world, decided to tweak the genetics of six embryos to make them more powerful. Their idea of this was for these six to have two “differences” rather than the standard one (the thing is, though, they didn’t know just how powerful the six would be). 

Two sets of parents (The Quills and the Clearlys) volunteered to carry the children and raise them. However, word of the Crest got out, and in turn sparked a massive war. 

Okay, onto the characters!!! (picrew link)

This is Alex Clearly. She’s the main character, and a member of the Crest.

She was raised in an orphanage in the human dimension. She was born in the Middle, but due to being born in the midst of a giant war about her existence, her parents wanted to keep her (as well as the rest of the Crest) hidden away. So they (The Quills and the Clearlys) hopped from safe house to safe house while still in the Middle. However, they were found by a different organization who wanted the Crest dead (or worse), and a bomb was set to their safe house. The Clearly parents thought they were the only ones to survive, but then they found Alex (keep in mind, she’s a baby at this point) and decide “fuck this, she’s going somewhere objectively safer.”

So, they took her to the human dimension to be raised in an orphanage with one of Mrs. Clearly’s old friends (read: bitter ex-friends who don’t necessarily hate each other to death but don’t vibe any more) who was hiding out there. They would’ve set her up at a foster home but they were like, about to die from sepsis so they decided “this’ll work ig.” They did their best ok 

This orphanage, unfortunately, is run by a horrible old woman who (for reasons explained in the book) absolutely despises Alex. So Alex is kind of an outcast in this orphanage because of that. The only adult who actually likes her is Gwendolyn, aka Mrs. Clearly’s old friend. She also has a best friend, Eli. 

Now, given that Alex is part of the Crest, she has 2 powers. One appeared at birth, which was telepathy, which meant she could read others’ minds and emotions. But, because the universe hated her, she couldn’t block them, so she constantly has waves of other people’s thoughts and emotions hurtling at her (this is also me projecting as an empath jklsdflkjds hyperempathy is a bitch)

I’m currently debating whether to spoil what her other power is because you find out a few chapters into the first book 

Yknow what fuck it, she’s a hydrolic. She can control water and it’s awesome

I don’t want to spoil any more of her backstory, so now I’ll give some attributes!

Me, talking about Alex: So there’s this she/they

She’s been Through Some Shit (tm) but she’s a survivor, and taught herself self-defense, how to steal without getting caught (for when she really needed food/supplies), etc

She’s also a badass and tough as nails

However do not let her badassery fool you, she is in fact a Fucking Nerd

Trust issues are rampant

Definitely Not Straight (see the undercut [important note, the undercut does not exist until book 2])

V sarcastic

If you give her dumplings she will love you forever

Definitely said ACAB after the cops took away her Big Burly Guy Friends for Robin Hood antics (read: stealing from the rich and giving to the poor)

said Big Burly Guy Friends were Big Burly Guys, taught self defense classes in their garage. She (at the time, a skinny 7 year old) showed up and asked them to teach her to fight, and at first they laughed, but she learned self defense and every saturday she showed up and they gave her a juice box and some crackers

10000% has adhd

During book 1, she’s 13-14

In just a normal high school AU, she would be a closeted memelord

But would unironically say poggers

She hates rules

A lot

She goes out of her way to break the especially stupid ones

Stubborn as all hell

She’s also super protective and if you hurt someone she loves, you fear for your life

Long story short, she’s a badass nerd with adhd who could kill a man with ease

I love her so much it’s not even funny ok?? she’s my child

Next!

This is Eli Marcus. He was Alex’s best (only) friend at the orphanage. He’s also from the human dimension. 

Eli was at the orphanage since he was five. He was always friends with Alex, and tried to help her with her headaches, though Alex never told him she was a telepath. 

He’s a loyal friend, and always tries to cheer people up

He has a bad habit of forgetting to take off his binder at night, much to Alex’s annoyance

He loves to play the drums. There’s constantly a song stuck in his head, and he taps his fingers on tables or chairs or whatever to try to get them out

It works, then it’s replaced by another song

He probably has adhd too

He has tried to dye his own hair. It did Not work

Alex kept reminding him that he had dark hair but he was just “I am looking Away, I do not see it” so it only dyed his scalp red

So far we haven’t seen very much of him, he’s in the first few chapters of book 1. I’m planning on putting him in book 2 or 3 though!

This is Jazzi LeCiel, one of Alex’s best friends. 

Jazzi lives in The Middle, and she’s the same age as Alex. She’s a stratic, meaning she can control the air (like an airbender), but like most people, she didn’t discover it until she was around middle school age. Her backstory isn’t as developed since she’s not the main character, and the story is told from Alex’s perspective. 

She’s a disaster bisexual

She would unironically cuff her jeans

Loves causing chaos 

She’s pretty trusting up front but if you break her trust it takes awhile to get it back

Farily petite

Also a badass like Alex, but she’s also a dork jlsfljdfk

I love her so much it’s not even funny 

She’s one of the classic short-but-deadly people. By this I mean she could easily kill a man with her eyes closed and one hand behind her back, and probably would if he pissed her off enough

Very strong sense of community

She’s independent but knows when to rely on her friends and family, something she’s trying to teach Alex (since she always had to be independent)

She’s extremely creative and thinks outside the box, hell, she probably doesn’t even know where the box is

Next!

This is Torrent Rush. He’s another of Alex’s friends in the Middle.

Torrent is about the same age as Alex and Jazzi, maybe a few months older. He’s also a visidem, meaning he can turn himself (and, if he focuses, other people) invisible. (Also that’s not really what his hair looks like, but it was the closest I could find)

Daddy issuuuuuuues

His dad’s a piece of shit

He’s got an older brother, and thus is very competitive

He’s generally very caring and outspoken, also very kind even if you’re a total stranger

Though he has trouble keeping his emotions under control, and when he gets angry or upset enough, he tends to lash out

Someone get this boy some therapy

His favorite color is purple

Idk why I added that, it’s not relevant at all lkjfdskljdfs

He tries to be smooth and he kind of is ngl, but like not as smooth as he could be

He kinda has White Boy energy but he tries to not be like that, you know? Like he was raised with toxic masculinity but he’s trying to outgrow it

tl;dr he needs therapy and a nap

This is Ezra Quill, another of Alex’s friends and a member of the Crest. 

He’s lived in the Middle all his life as well, and is both a pyre (controlling fire) and a hypnolic (basically he can control other people’s minds and therefore bodies as well). He’s lived at a Sector 13 base for awhile, too. 

Imagine sunshine given human form. You have Ezra

Seriously he’s a cinnamon roll

I love him so much

He has on multiple occasions had fucking butterflies land on his nose. This is not an exaggeration. It happens multiple times

He’s a fucking NERD and will hyperfixate on anything 

He specifically loves baking 

Cracks a lot of jokes but he’s generally very sincere

Also he’s a tol bean???? child what are you doing up there

He’s quite fond of mango lassi and payasam

He plays with his fire a lot, purely to have fun. He loves lighting his hand on fire to scare people (Loretta, mostly) 

He fidgets

a lot

He always has to be moving, whether it’s tapping his fingers or doing that fuckin wave squiggle motion with his arms (he’s also really good at it)

He also hums to himself, but it always ends up with him making random sounds and making Alex think there’s a cryptid toddler in the other room

He loves big sweaters, not just because of how cozy they are, but also because he can slap people (read: Alex) with the long, flappy sleeves 

Next is Loretta, Alex’s adoptive mother and all-around wonderful woman.

Loretta is a master hydrolic, and teaches at the academy. She’s probably a repressed lesbian too lkjsdflkjdfs

She was a part of Sector 13 from the beginning of their work on creating the Crest, and when she met Alex, she almost cried because of the strong young woman Alex was becoming. 

Loretta will see a child (read: anyone younger than her), say “is anyone gonna adopt that thing” and then not wait for an answer

She had to physically stop herself from making Alex sign the adoption papers she keeps in her pocket at all times the first time they met

If you hurt somebody she loves, run

Faster

She has some dark spots in her past, in her present, too, but she’s working to illuminate them 

Also she’s in love with her best-friend-turned-enemy but she doesn’t know it

She is a fierce fighter when she wants to be. Nobody expects it, either. They see her and think she’s more laid-back, some daresay delicate, but she’s anything but. She’s taken down a full grown man while wearing heels

She’s basically adopted Torrent, Ezra and Jazzi too

She adopted Alex, but she also saw Torrent and Ezra and Jazzi and decided they were hers too

“How many children do you have?” “Biologically, legally, or emotionally?” 

I love her sm 

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Now I wanna know your LGBTQ+ headcanons for Violetta

Okay!

Violetta - bisexual. She might not know this yet, as she hasn’t been allowed to explore much due to not going out much as a child, but she is. Definitely.

Camila - bisexual. In the beginning of season 1, all she did was switch styles to explore what felt like her. She eventually decided to follow her own style and I think, with the help of that, she kind of... started to realise. At first she was just boy crazy, but maybe with the whole ”taking pictures of boys” shennanigans and also with the ”all boys I date end badly” she might just explore her attraction to girls. In season 3, she maybe realised it already or is gonna realise it soon.

Francesca - bisexual. I’m sure she was like ”i’m straight :)” and then she met Vilu and was like ”ok I guess i’m not straight :)”

Maxi - trans, bisexual (lol a lot of bi’s here today). Someone had this headcanon once about him and I was like ”it makes sense actually??” and now i’m going with this. Maxi is a trans man and also he gives off bi vibes

Ludmila - lesbian. I actually think so. Though, she’s very closeted due to her mother being a fucking psychopath and also her need to keep a status. She was incredibly obsessed with Violetta for no real reason at all. Probably likes Naty too, and that’s why she doesn’t want Naty to date a boy, because she lowkey just wants Naty for herself

Naty - lesbian. She’s in love with Ludmila, it’s clear. Though she also knows Ludmi is not good for her (Ludmi had comphet drilled from a young age and kind of tries to drill it onto Naty too). Naty likes Maxi, but not... really in that way. He’s more of a beard, but also she knows he’s a better person than Ludmila, even if she really just wants to be with her.

Leon - bisexual. He had too many intense staring contests with Diego to be straight.

Diego - bisexual. Was a ladies man and then Leon came and changed that.

Andres - huge disaster bisexual and I don’t think I need to explain further.

Gery - nonbinary, pansexual. Nothing about Gery screams cishet.

Clement - gay. Tbh. He gives off gay vibes, especially in his normal rich boy outifts. He wanted to use Violetta as his beard and later used Gery as one. Though I haven’t seen season 3 in a long while so maybe my opinion might change if/when I rewatch it

Napo - GAY. PLEASE. He and Braco were boyfriends

Braco - Bisexual. He first had a crush on Violetta and Napo wanted to help him talk to her, but in the process the boys got together with each other instead.

Lara - Queer. She is not fond of labels, she’s just a mechanic, Leon-

The rest of the characters are either cishet or I haven’t thought of any headcanons for them

[incorrectcatfacestudios]

Headcanons + Making this to replace my old headcanons post.

Disclaimer: JUST GOING TO SAY NOT EVERYTHING I GIVE THEM IS SOMETHING I AGREE WITH! like Some characters will have a headcanon that’s more because I can ACTUALLY SEE Them enjoying an activity but even if they do I DON’T their are things that these characters would do that I DON’T think anyone else should do EVER!

Asch

Has a safe space in his room where he can be himself. It’s a place where He gets to let his guard down. that is his earth room

Has a tendency to be more attracted to those with a darker tone then him. then again its not really hard to have a darker complexion then him. (Regardless of race someone could have a tan or something, or just be a bit darker than him.) He himself hasn’t noticed this and probably never will.

Mirage sleeps in his room

If Rhys somehow got really sad and mopey he’d locate that ice cream truck and angrily threaten the ice cream man to give him all of the ice cream or DIE. Or he’d just want the entire truck, & if no one stopped him then he’d throw it through Ava’s window into her apartment.  

Sometimes late at night when everyone’s sleeping & Asch can’t, he summons Rhys to his room and forces him to read him a bedtime story. Rhys used to do this when Asch was younger as well. He really likes Rhys’s voice. 

If he was a human he’d probably be some NEET gamer who spends all his time roleplaying on World of Warcraft or something and he’d always rage about bad plot points or game mechanics in Anime & Video games.

The most likely to dirty talk

He sneezes like a kitten and when he does fire comes out. 

Would be god awful at pole dancing

 He doesn’t know what to do when it comes to love and isn’t used to physical affection.   Its.....very pleasant whenever he gets it...but it also feels too comfortable for him. He’s scared of comfort, despite loving it.  

Later on once he embraces affection he becomes absolutely addicted to it and is by far the most passionate of them. Though that angry scowl never leaves unfortunately . His passion rages on like a burning flame, like....an intense RUSH of desire. It can be overwhelming at times. 

In fact he DEMANDS the affection. 

In battle he’s more brutish than the others by far. A giant barrage of flames being sent EVERYWHERE . 

One time he read a fanfiction & thought it was 100% Canon. & when anyone said otherwise He screamed angrily and shot fire balls at them; Even when they weren’t physically there. Of course since they weren’t there he just  ended up burning the phone Ava got for him, but you know, whatever.

Loves curry 

Really likes chocolate and caramel for whatever reason, but he can’t stand other sweets. he also likes strawberries 

He enjoys the video game Indivisible, & some war military tactic games. He also likes rage games for some reason too even though he hates them, its complicated but he can’t stop playing, he gets too into it and too angry. He also enjoys racing games & MARIO PARTY, Especially when he wins.   

His favorite animal is the bull  

Dhaur is his husbando 

His sin is wrath  

 Used to hate Steven Universe at first then grew....to like it. then love it. It seemed so dumb to him at first but as he watched it he came to understand it more. 

Asch trusts Rhys more than the other daemos. He’s known him the longest and believes in his judgement he doesn’t think Rhys would EVER lie to him or deceive him.  Because of this Rhys is the only person Asch is ever fully open with. He wouldn’t leave anyone else he was this open with back on daemos. He is quite FOOLISH to believe this however. :) after all Rhys is working with Lady Grandma. 

He once dared Leif to eat a cactus after getting particularly angry in a game of truth or dare 

 Him and Rhal never get along ever. They always yell it eachother, and get into arguments.

Rhal has far more Knights than Asch 

As for Lady Bish. Asch is completely indifferent towards her.  

He doesn’t know why but he keeps on sniffing Ava’s bra for reasons obvious to the rest of us. Regardless he destroys them just the same

Smell/sweat Kink bitches 

 Probably into S&M.  

 He sometimes rehearses villainous Dialogues with himself in the mirror when no one’s around. 

He also does this with Rhys on occasion...if he’s feeling particularly BRAVE that day

Holds up a lot of pent up emotions and hides it pretty well. He prefers to let them out as anger instead..but when he gets drunk it all just POURS out of him. He just sobs and cries and hugs and kisses and laughs. just...everything. ALL OF THE EMOTIONS BESIDES ANGER he expresses openly. He doesn’t become a completely different person he just becomes far more open. He compliments a lot as well.

He got drunk once and decided from that day NEVER AGAIN! 

 Though when he first got drunk he really liked it. Despite the flavor. and downed like 3. 

 That was a #Mistake 

His favorite Crystal gem is Garnet, or Sapphire? Its hard for him to choose between them. 

Rhys

 The thiccest of the daemos on earth. By that I mean he has the biggest butt 

 What I mean by that is he does a lot of squats, & Glute exercises. He also has a magic that makes all the fat he gains go to his butt but that’s not important. Its not always in affect only for emergencies.   

Would be VERY interested in science if he knew what it was

He would eat pizza with a fork

Gluttonous in any task he enjoys. When he eats he eats ALOT, sex would last a long time with him Though not many people know this about him because he takes his time. 

The  common one is Research, reading, observing, & ESPECIALLY LEARNING.

 He also adores validation give him it.. Wears a long trench coat to hide his big butt from the world well not hide but-. 

 specifically daemos since some uncultured daemos tend to be quite handsy.

 It doesn’t always work but whatever trench coats are cool. 

 has frequent discussions with Asch in his room. He’s the only one Asch is completely honest with. Asch trusts Rhys with EVERYTHING. 

If he was a human he would be a college student studying to be a scientist of some kind. 

He would also work volunteer jobs at the retirement homes. 

If he was a human he’d probably meet Asch by working as his grandmothers nanny. I don’t think Asch would live by himself.

has a tad bit more fat on him than the others. but his muscle can distract from that. Plus his fat isn’t even noticeable outside of his ass His lover would nickname him sunrise, because his smile can chase the night away, cause his face is what brightens their day, because he is the beginning of something new bright and beautiful. 

loves Rubix Cubes If he romanced Ava it wouldn’t be because he likes her it would be because he wants to use her. mostly for her nonexistent power ((magical and political)) 

Loves sweets more than the rest of them

I think I had enough for him last time. 

His mother and Asch’s were close.  

Spends waaayyyy too much time trying to over analyse tv shows he watches 

Is a big fan of Pheonix wright, Fran Bow, Gravity falls, Danganronpa, Dr. Stone, Dr. Who, Fnaf, & pretty much any other game or TV show that either gives you a lot to think about after the episodes/playthrough, is chock full of thousands of possibilities and theories, or requires a lot of thought and problem solving to play. He also likes strategy games like Fire Emblem, & Final Fantasy Tactics. OH! And Pokemon but not for the normal gameplay for the competitive scene. 

Due to having the element of water he is  usually cool calm and collected. but he also is able to flow with a situation if needed. He’s passive  

 Often reads to Asch because Asch has a harder time reading. Him and Asch went to school together when they were younger and thus have a closer bond than the others.  ((Lady grandma forced Asch to go)) 

Once asked Ava if she had any more of those porn magazines. Was pleased to find that Ava had an entire closets worth. Though not all of it was the fighting techniques he was looking for. 

He  has no fucking idea how a vagina works in the slightest. or what vagina’s even look like? Despite his extensive knowledge sex is one of the places where he knows the least. Because he has no idea what lesbian sex is he is completely oblivious to the fact that he’s been staring at 2 girls fucking it on in those magazines he’s found underneath Ava’s bed. 

 He once had to help Leif out with the creation of the Furby organ. It was incredibly difficult for him but also very insightful 

 The Furbies terrify him though.  That STARE its..just...ugh 

 The best at pole dancing. 

Is far more elegant on the battle field than the others. His attacks are more precise and careful than theirs are. 

He’s also the best at dancing...well fancy dancing. like ballet,  and slowdancing. 

Sleeps in Ava’s fridge sometimes. 

Starting teaching Noi how to read a bit more after they went to the mall. The shops are cataloged after all

 Is cold resistant to a point. I mean ice magic CAN still hurt him but like...less. I’d liken it to a Pokemon. 

His favorite crystal gem is garnet. If your talking singular gems then I’d say Ruby. But...like Garnets amazing why would you want to choose just ONE of them as your favorite when..

 Likes classical music, R & B, Soft...indie songs, Soft pop, Trap music & Bossa Nova 

If Ava did marry him she’d probably get locked into a loveless marriage for power that doesn’t exist 

If he found out about Ava’s lies he might have a fucking meltdown. :D like everything he was working towards EVERYTHING would have been for nothing. 

That is until the prospect of watching how the human world continues to function without magic...he’d realize they have TECHNOLOGY and how...amazing it is. 

Leif

The more he likes you the more he’ll want to stab you. Just how it is

The more he’s attracted to someone the more he’ll want to stab their guts out. he’s weird like that.

Big sadist I mean we already know this but like in all the ways? ya know?Like he literally gets an orgasmic feeling in his veins when he slices someone open kind of sadistic.  

If he was a human he would probably be a doctor or surgeon who only has his job because it allows him to legally cut people open.

would’ve probably been one of those school bullies who only bullies someone because he’s in love with them if he was a human

You could literally get him to do anything by being like “ I bet you couldn’t do that. “ or saying “ ____ go get the ____ for me” He makes everything into a competition.

Broke EVERYTHING when he was a child. 

Tried to eat a cactus, because Asch dared him to.  

Asch didn’t think he’d actually do it. 

 His sin is PRIDE of course, which is why he feels like he has to prove everything and lives to have his ego STROKED.

Later he tried to shove a cactus up his ass because a stranger on the internet said that only cowards don’t use cacti as dildo’s 

He had to go to the doctor many times. 

He really liked the large amount of sharp objects in the hospital room 

He may or may not be banned from that hospital

The nurse had to file a restraining order it was a sad day.  But they got the pricks out!! and that’s all that matters! PLUS Leif got a new thumb to add to his collection!

He really likes it because its a special decorated one. With PAINT on the tips. its weird and shiny. The nurse probably won’t need it anyways. 

He has a rotting placenta in his bedroom no one knows where he got it!(AND NOBODY ASKS) but it still has the umbilical cord attached no baby though :(   

He isn’t allowed outside anymore for obvious reasons

He found out what Furbies where and fell in love with them instantly . He stole 20 

He made a Furby organ. why? Because its infinitely stupider and more terrifying than a regular one. He forced Rhys to help cause Rhys is smart. It still took like 90 tries and costed Ava alot of money, and Furbies.

He keeps it in his room and he plays it constantly. Mostly to annoy Asch, Ava, and everyone else around him. He also loves the fact that its called an organ. 

He was dared to eat a jar of nails and he fucking did it. 

He obviously had to use healing magic on himself 

He’s really hot for Noi. Like...a bit too much no one notices though.

 A bit hotter for Ava than Noi though, That’s why he keeps wanting to penetrate her with his knife. The more he threatens to do this the more he likes you. 

His element is Life, or earth. Mostly life which is why he’s so vigorous and excited. 

This is also the reason why he’s so obsessed with killing things. when you live your ALWAYS killing, every move you make you end thousands of lives just like that!  Daemos of the life element seem to want to enjoy life to the fullest and never look back. EVER 

As such he’s also good at cultivating life, weather it be a plant or an animal. Everyones always surprised by this

Back on Daemos before his snap he’d actually be alot kinder to Noi, ((IN the first 4 episodes whenever Noi got hurt he was the only one to ever show any concern. I find that interesting in contrast to how he threw that out in some of the later ones. )) He’d often be the one that consoles noi or talks things out with him. 

Leif is more aggressive, energetic and far more cruel in more docile environments. He becomes much more empathetic, & Calm in hostile ones. ((Like that time where he actually got on Rhys’s case for being too hard on Asch, or the times when he was like “Hey are we actually going to let Noi die” and offering to heal Noi when he was writhing in pain when they came to earth.  ))  

He’s actually more perceptive then he seems, he cares about those around him NORMALLY its just going this long without killing anything is maddening for him. HE NEEDS TO KILL. to let it all out, once he does he’ll act as he normally does.  

He was the only one even remotely kind to Noi back on daemos, that changed when they got to earth. (besides Pierce. ) 

 Though due to his normal lack of empathy in a world where he’s human he’d probably be one of those people who just don’t care about how what they say affects those around them. Doing and saying whatever he wants regardless of how others may interpret that. 

He LOVES Skullgirls. He really likes the character designs and the fact that double always has organs or something hanging out. 

 He also loves all horror movies and video games where he gets to cause mayhem; Like Saints Row, or Grand Theft Auto!  

 He’d be the only one of the daemos that is fully accepting of the weird side of the internet. You know the WEIRD side. He’d be into all of the bizar kinky fetishes you’d find on Furraffinity you just know it.  

 He doesn’t actually like Ava he more-so see’s her as a trophy? I mean well he DOES but he’s mostly in the whole fight for her thing to win a prize. And she’s the prize.   ((Well at least before the newest episode)) 

Pierce

The most Physically affectionate of the daemos even more so than Noi

Big buff bara man. LIKE BY FAR THE BUFFEST 

Would probably run an animal shelter or something if he could

Would be running an animal shelter or something if he was human

Likes….fluffy. waayyy too much 

He’s by far the most empathetic of the daemos. Yes even Noi then again Noi isn’t very empathetic. 

 Very tired 24/7 needs coffee to sustain himself. 

 Often by himself in the quiet. sometimes while alone with his thoughts they spiral out of control, Regret, Doubt, Despair, Uncertainty, Fear, Insecurity.  All at once. Does he cry not at all. He suffers as he stands Silent. ultimately its impossible to tell when he’s having one of these moments as he doesn’t show it on his face.    

 Big PP 

He is very loyal but his loyalty isn’t...friendship. He doesn’t really like Asch very much, but he does trust his judgement and follow his orders. He’s a knight after all, besides he appears to have some connection to one of Asches family members ((The daemos in that Flashback had a crown on their horn)

He likes standing because when he stands theirs no threat of getting too comfortable, no chance of falling asleep and drifting away, no chance of drifting into sleep and deciding to never wake up again, no chance of getting lost in the comforts of the object beneath him. 

He is the one that cares for Ava the most  

 Doesn’t really care about the cultural norms on daemos. he flows free like the wind and accepts any new and sudden changes. 

Heavyish sleeper, gets grumpy when woken up.  Like if your trying to kill him his instincts will kick in and he will wake up but otherwise he’ll just stay asleep. LIKE THROUGH EVERYTHING 

Though while he is the most empathetic of the Daemos he’s also prone to intense levels of apathy, where he just shuts down silent lost in his thoughts unable to be disturbed. these are only momentary  

His element is air. Because of this he’s mostly just free and flowing.  

 Sometimes gives Ava Piggy Back rides to make her feel tall 

 Potentially one of the only one of the Daemos that genuinely care about Ava. 

But also potentially only see’s Ava as a cute pet to love on rather than a person in and of herself. But ultimately he does also care about her feelings, and her opinion on things.

 I prefer to think the latter rather than the former. 

one time he accidentally befriended a large swarm of bee’s and they followed him to Ava’s house. 

 Gives Ava piggy back rides 

Out of the Daemos he’s the one who Ava is closest to. The others have yet to even notice this. 

 One time the boys found porn on the phone and just gathered around the phone looking at it confused all bug eyed. Pierce saw the filth on the screen and made the executive decision to yeet it out the window. 

Ava had to buy a new phone 

 Has a rough yet gentle touch. he takes care and caution when dealing with life. 

because of the above him and Leif have an impossibly hard time cooperating when its just them. 

The best with animals. 

 When not caught up in apathy he is the exact opposite. He becomes far too 

Noi

He would enjoy fortnight if he played it

Would thrive off of old memes 

If he was human he would be that one friend you wouldn’t want to hang out with because he fortnight dances, dabs, uses outdated memes, rick rolls people, and everything unironically.

 The least muscular & Thicc by far. he doesn’t have any meat on his bones, unlike the other 4. Flat boney ass. 

He’d probably be some sort of social media icon or a street performer if he was human. He thrives off of validation. Though because he’s a clumsy fuck street preforming wouldn’t be the best gig for him.

Likes music the most

Would probably be the first of the Daemos to watch and enjoy Steven Universe. ((Though I’d bet the others would come around. They always come around))

 He Rick Rolled Rhys one time. 

 His sin is Envy, he often feels insecure about himself, and he looks up to everyone else seeing how “Cool” or great they are. ALWAYS saying “GOOD JOB ____” whenever they do something cool, he’s always excited but with that excitement comes the thoughts...Why can’t I do things like that? I wish I COULD BE STRONG LIKE PIERCE, I wish I COULD BE SMART LIKE RHYS, I wish I could be PAMPERED LIKE ASCH, I wish I COULD BE HANDSOME LIKE LEIF. That’s why he’s so focused on being better than everyone else. I wanna try! Let me see it! LET ME TRY FOR ONCE. that comes from not only desire but ENVY. he just channels this envy in a much healthier way than most would. *Cough* Leif *Cough* 

 He has EXTREME insecurity problems and longs more than anything to be better than the others. 

After he found out what breakdancing was he dedicated SO MUCH of his time trying to learn how to do it. 

He may or may not be obsessed with that 

 He also really likes Ava. But he’s moreso in love with the idea of her? He doesn’t really listen to much of what she says due to the fact that he’s so scatterbrained and spacey. He just likes when she talks. He mostly fell in love with Ava because she was the first person to present themselves towards him as an option. back on Daemos he was relatively low class. Thus he was viewed as unmarriageable, worthless, dumb, WEAK, & Poor, So trying to enter a relationship with ANYONE was out of the question. The boy thought he would die without finding love.

 He thought Ava was actually GENUINELY interested in romancing him and because of that it excited him. NO ONE HAD EVER actually wanted to romance him. Back at home NO ONE liked him, no one was ever kind to him. Well Leif sometimes was pierce would show some kind of a...paternal affection rarely. But Leif also treated him cruelly and insulted him like the others.

Due to how loving and compassionate he is he was kicked  out of his household. 

 Despite this Noi isn’t exactly empathetic. He doesn’t pay attention to the emotions of others he’s far too caught up in himself.  

In the first 2 days on Earth He & Leif would shit talk Asch behind his back. Mostly talking about how they didn’t really like this plan and just vent their frustrations out at eachother 

Starting on episode 5 him and Leif just kinda. He became too scared of Leif to even approach him as much and thus he kinda grew apart from him. thus causing him to latch more onto Ava. AVA likes him, unlike them. HE HAS PROOF after all. 

 He’s also far too stuck up in the idea of a powerful princess loving him a lowly peasant a low ranking knight someone who.....who wouldn’t be worth anything to her.

If they were to find out about ALL of Ava’s lies he’d take it the 2nd hardest. Asch would be the first, Rhys the 3rd. Leif the 4th, & Pierce the 5th. 

 Mostly because the only reason why she chose him, the only reason why they went on a date wasn’t because she was interested in him but because she didn’t want her cover blown. He thought she actually loved him not to say she doesn’t care for him but-...he thought she WANTED him you know? 

She wouldn’t be a powerful princess, she wouldn’t be a cool sorceress, she wouldn’t be this big thing that he wanted so much she’d just be herself and then Noi’s fantasy would crumble. 

Its the dream the fantasy that someone so powerful so strong would set aside their time and pay attention to him take him out in hopes of COURTING him that he fell in love with. Not ava herself. 

That being said he does like Ava and even prefer spending time with her to half of the main cast.   

Ava

Has to take Prescription drugs

Ate cat food once when she was five

Probably into pet play

Really likes collars

One time she went to some bitch in her high schools  Quinceañera to release a box of 4000 angry bees upon it and run

Greedy  

 Spends alot of her time watching Anime when not with the Daemos

 Her favorite Crystal Gem is Amethyst because god damn

 No where NEAR as thick as Aphmau is. She’s alot more twiggy. 

Would totally do the WEED if her dads weren’t hovering around her 24/7 

 Has a lot of Girl on girl porn in her room. Specif under her bed and in her closet.

[tthael]

Hi, english is not my first language so if I don't make any sense you know why. I'm sorry if i gave you the wrong impression with my ask.I've never read the book so "the shape" of these characters for me personally comes from the movie where Richie is gay. I've recently found out that people that read the book consider him bi. That's why when i read a fic where it's not explicitly stated i always wonder. I saw that you have a tumblr so i was like why not ask.

Hi nonny! Thank you for coming back to clarify, I’m sorry for the defensive tone of my response. Thank you very much for reading my stuff. Nothing about the phrasing of your question was what made me respond that way, just the topic, because I know it’s a hot button issue in fandom at the moment. Nobody wants to be responsible for erasing a sexual minority or a canonical sexual identity--and while in the book Richie’s sexuality is only coded, I’ve been told that André Muschietti explicitly stated that the film portrayal of Richie is gay. So of course, I think that film!Richie is portrayed as gay, and if I were to write Richie based on the film alone, I most likely would write him as gay.

The thing is, I don’t really write exclusively film!Richie. I think that there’s a very rich vein of characterization to be found in the book, which is of course door-stoppingly long, and compared to the limited amount of screentime the movies could spend on each of the Losers, not to mention the changes to their backgrounds the films made (looking at you, tween!Ben who suddenly morphs into adult!Mike), I like to pull from the greatest evidence pool available. That’s why I like to include the teenage werewolf, I like to include Stan’s bird book of North America, I like to include Eddie’s fascination with cars and trains and other mechanical transportation, I like to include Bev’s mother as having been alive during Bev’s childhood, I like to include Ben’s outrunning the track team out of spite, I like to include Bill’s uncanny charisma and his compelling nature, and I like to include Mike with a kinder more curious childhood than he’s allowed in the film. Also, I studied literature in college and I’m just more comfortable with analyzing that than I am analyzing film.

I also really liked the film casting for the adult Losers! It’s very shallow of me but I like how they look, I think they’re all very attractive, and I’m more interested in writing with their physicalities in mind than I am in, say, the actors for the 1990s miniseries. This is a personal preference, just because I myself do not enjoy Bill’s ponytail or Richie’s mustache or Bev as a brunette. I’ve also only ever seen clips of the miniseries. And honestly, I like Bill Hader as Richie in glasses, despite book!Richie wanting to wear contacts as an adult; I find without glasses I have difficulty perceiving him as the character. So I can’t claim to be a book purist--I like writing about the 2016 setting and those are mostly the faces of the Losers I see in my head. I tweak them sometimes--I don’t think I’ve written Richie with blue eyes yet, for example.

So I blend the canons when I decide what to draw on for the fic. That means that, for me, unless it’s explicitly stated, I probably don’t have an intention one way or the other when I write Richie’s sexuality. So far I’ve always written him as a man who loves men, and always as involved and in love with Eddie. I know that for some people that won’t be good enough, that for some people it’s very important to them to see their characters explicitly identify as one label or the other, but I’m afraid that just isn’t a priority for me in my portrayals.

This is informed by 2 things: 1) I like to write the Losers as 40-year-old adults in 2016, and we know that Richie produces a host of problematic content in his career. This of course shouldn’t mean that my portrayal of Richie /should/ be problematic and that’s not my intention--instead, I’m suggesting that when I write Richie, I write a lot about self-loathing and internalized homophobia, and so I focus a lot more on his attraction to men, which in my fic he’s usually not comfortable with, than any potential/past attraction to women. Of course I don’t feel that self-loathing is the necessary response to same-sex attraction, but I also think of the Losers as adults of a certain age who might not always be accurate or thoughtful in discussing the changing world of sexual identities (finding words for them specifically, filling the lexical gap).

I wrote a scene in Things That Happen After Eddie Lives where Richie runs across a gender non-conforming person and initially reads them as female, but then during the conversation remembers that isn’t always the case these days and switch to trying to avoid pronouns for them or trying to refer to them with gender neutral pronouns. But Richie and Eddie still call Jordan and Sarah lesbians, without asking whether they’re a romantic pairing of two bisexual people, or without considering that Jordan might be a man. Richie even wonders if “girlfriend” is being used romantically or platonically the way that women of previous generations do. I have a bead on Jordan’s and Sarah’s identity--but only because Jordan’s me! I think that, as a man born in 1976, growing up extremely closeted, and never engaging in the wider discussion around LGBTQ culture in a constructive way, Richie might be prone to simplification. This, of course, doesn’t mean I’m opposed to a Richie who openly identifies as strictly gay or strictly bi!

2) The second thing that informs the ambiguity of my portrayal of Richie’s sexuality is my own experience with my sexuality and gender. I am closeted in real life. In recent years I have tried a number of identities that, at the time, I believed to fit, but the labels were never clear-cut for me. I am coming to accept, slowly, that in the same way the physical body doesn’t grow to exact neat clean specifications, I might never be able to describe myself accurately and totally in one term. That’s all that I’m willing to share about my experience at this time. My personal philosophy is much like the one Eddie professes when he comes out in Indelicate: it doesn’t seem important to me that people know my preferences unless I’m a) sleeping with them or b) actively dating and trying to put myself out there.

Again, some people have completely different experiences! For some people being closeted is intolerable and having an identity--a word for what they are--really helps them self-actualize and live their truth! For some people, they’re very excited about their identity and participate in Pride events and take joy in asserting that this is who they are to the world! For some people, they never have the awareness that this or that idle feeling might mean they actually /don’t/ fit with how the world sees them. And while I’m a great advocate of self-exploration (comes of being vain as I am), some people don’t do that, and that’s fine!

I know that ambiguity is not a neutral answer when it comes to these questions. In the summer of 2019 when the Good Omens miniseries was released, many fans reached out to author Neil Gaiman asking for confirmation that the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley were gay. Gaiman said, “Theirs is a love story.” He said, “They’re not human and I can’t ascribe human sexual identity to them.” He said, “My coauthor is deceased and I can’t make such confirmations without him.” (These are not direct quotes and I don’t have sources, I’m sorry, it’s been a year.) This was not satisfactory to all parties. For some people explicit confirmation of that gender identity is important. And why shouldn’t it be? Their own is important to them.

But I’m from a school of literary analysis where I welcome different interpretations of my works, which are in this case of course derivative and dependent on evidence from the canons I draw on. I write Richie in love with Eddie, and that’s enough for me. If it’s not for the reader, either I feel there’s ample room to interpret my Richie the way they prefer--not just limited to gay or bi! After the first sex scene in TTHAEL Richie is stunned by how he enjoyed that far more than any other sexual encounter he’s ever had, and I think that’s welcome to interpretations of Richie with demisexuality /or/ Richie just finally having fulfilling sex with a man because he’s gay or bi /OR/ Richie has had good sex before but this was just WAY better because he likes sex better when he’s in love with his partner. And every portrayal of Richie I write is slightly different, so Richie from Indelicate might have different sexual attraction/orientation than Richie from Automatic - Mechanical - Pneumatic or Richie from TTHAEL. BUT I don’t want to say that my interpretation is the only valid one--just know that when I write Richie, I write him as a man in love with another man. If I were to write a story about Richie involved with someone other than Eddie, I would tag for it up front.

Again, I know this is a very long answer and probably not as concise or clear as you might like it to be. Thank you so much for coming back around to explain your logic, I apologize for my wariness the first time around, thank you for asking these questions in good faith. “Why not ask” is of course the simplest way to settle an issue and I don’t want to discourage anyone from asking me questions about my fic. If there are other things you have questions about, please don’t hesitate to ask, either here or by sending me a private message, I  don’t mind either way.

[vanillacaramelhoney]

Misinterpretations

Pairing(s): Robin Buckley x Byers!Reader

Summary: A toxic/asshole friend, being in the closet, and having a crush never ends well.

Request: Robin X reader fic with the readers feelings being outed to robin and robin being shocked, which the reader misinterprets as rejection :) thank you!!

Warning(s): Homophobia, bullying I guess?

A/N: I apologize to anyone named Pam. I just needed a name and it was the first I could think of.

Requests are open!

Being a lesbian was hard.

There were too many pretty girls, homophobes existed, as well as asshole teenagers.

(Y/n) had one friend who claimed to be supportive- Pam. And yet, after she had come out to her, (Y/n) always found herself getting mocked for her interest in girls by Pam.

The f slur seemed to fly out of the girl's mouth whenever (Y/n) was around.

It quickly became evident to (Y/n) that her friend was not supportive.

And so, she found herself trapped- staying as Pam's friend in fear that if she cut the girl off, she'd retaliate by outing her.

(Y/n) could deal with Pam insulting her almost 24/7, but she could not handle the entire school.

So, yes, being a lesbian was hard for (Y/n).

Luckily, she had Robin.

Robin didn't know about (Y/n) being into girls; she was too scared to tell her after the way Pam had begun treating her.

It didn't help that (Y/n) had had a crush on Robin for a few years now.

Robin wasn't the first crush (Y/n) had on a girl, but she did try to deny her feelings for her. She just felt that the reason she must like her was because of how long they'd known each other.

Nearly two years later, though, she was still crushing over her.

But, now, (Y/n) was trying to find her books for her next class.

Pam was waiting next to her as she dug around.

"Did you lose them?" she asked, uninterested.

"How can I just lose an entire textbook?" (Y/n) replied.

"What's this about losing a textbook?" Robin asked, joining the two.

(Y/n) paused to smile as a greeting. "I can't find one of my textbooks."

She pulled her bag out and unzipped it to check inside.

Robin hummed as she watched.

"Oh, thank God," (Y/n) muttered, pulling the textbook out.

"Congratulations, you didn't lose it!" Robin joked. (Y/n) could feel heat rush to her face but tried to ignore it.

She cleared her throat as she zipped up her bag. "Hey, Robin. I was, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out...later tonight?" (Y/n) asked nervously.

While the two were close, they didn't actually hang out that often outside of school.

Robin was going to answer when Pam groaned beside them. (Y/n) and Robin gave her confused looks as she turned to look at (Y/n) with a dead expression.

"God, would you just get over your dumb crush on her? It's not going to happen. You obviously make her uncomfortable by just existing, you freak," Pam hissed before walking off.

(Y/n) watched her in horror, her face red with embarrassment.

With a shaky breath, she looked over at Robin. She had a shocked expression as she looked at (Y/n).

She tried to speak several times, but nothing came out. Instead, she clamped her mouth shut.

(Y/n) looked down, ashamed, and grabbed her bag. She grabbed her remaining things from where they rested in her locker, slammed the door shut, and dashed for the school doors.

She didn't pay mind to the students that gave her strange looks, or the sound of Robin calling her name.

She swung her bag over her shoulder and quickly found her bike. She hopped on and rode off.

Where was she going to go? (Y/n) had no idea, as long as she wasn't near Robin. She'd probably go home.

(Y/n) shook her head as she pedaled frantically. 'She might go looking for me, and that would be her first stop,' she thought.

The only thing she could think of was going to see her mom, who surely wouldn't be too happy about her skipping school.

Still, (Y/n) found herself leaning her bike against the wall of Melvald's and heading inside.

To her luck, it seemed that no one else was there at the moment.

"(Y/n)?" She looked over to see her mother, Joyce, staring at her. "What are you doing here? You should be at school."

(Y/n) felt the anxiety of the situation come back. "I know, I just...I couldn't. I couldn't stay there," she whispered, her eyes stinging as it became hard to breathe.

"Hey, hey. It's alright, breathe," Joyce said, resting her hands on her daughter's arms. "Did something happen at school?"

(Y/n) managed to mutter Robin's name.

Joyce nodded. (Y/n) had told her about her crush on the girl shortly after she first came out to her.

"Did you... did you tell her? Did it not end well?" Joyce questioned.

"I d-didn't exactly tell her," (Y/n) stuttered. "It's more like everything was all outed to her without my permission."

"What?"

"One of my...friends... blurted it out in front of Robin. She also insulted me," (Y/n) muttered the last sentence, somewhat hoping that her mother wouldn't hear.

"What?!" Joyce nearly shouted. "Wha- who?!"

"Mom, calm down. It's fine. It doesn't matter," (Y/n) tried to convince her.

"Of course, it matters!" Joyce exclaimed. "That's your friend! She shouldn't be saying things about you that you want to be a secret!"

(Y/n) sighed. "Mom, I've already told you about her- she isn't what I'd call a friend," (Y/n) explained. Joyce got an idea of who it must've been and understood. "Can I please stay here for the rest of the day? I don't want to risk running into her, and something tells me she might swing by the house after school."

Joyce wasn't sure what to say. Getting an education was essential, and she didn't want her daughter missing out on it. But, she was also desperate not to go back for the day. Besides, there was only a little under an hour left.

"Alright," Joyce caved. (Y/n) gave her a soft 'thank you.' "Why don't you start working on any homework you've got?" (Y/n) nodded, glad that she had brought her things in the rush of leaving. It also meant she didn't have to worry about going back to get them.

~

(Y/n) found herself riding home on her mother's command several hours after school would have ended.

By that point, there was no way Robin would've been there.

As she rode into the driveway, she didn't see Robin's bike.

A wave of relief washed over (Y/n).

She hopped off her bike and left it by the porch before heading in.

"Hey!" Jonathan greeted her.

"Hey," (Y/n) responded. She quickly left to dump her back in her room before returning.

"By the way, Robin dropped by like, an hour ago looking for you," Jonathan told her.

"Oh?" (Y/n) felt herself getting anxious again.

"Yeah." He elaborated, "She brought your work from your last class saying you weren't there." He handed the work to (Y/n).

"Thanks for telling me," (Y/n) grew quiet "I'll have to thank her later."

"Everything alright?" he asked. "You look like you might throw up." (Y/n) felt it, too.

"I'm fine," she lied. "Uh, I'll be in my room."

Jonathan nodded, watching his sister leave in concern.

(Y/n) used her foot to close her door. It was left open a crack.

She looked over the work, rolling her eyes when she saw that it was the same material as before.

Figuring she had nothing better to do, (Y/n) got started on working.

~

With the next day here, came a lot of hiding and sneaking around.

(Y/n) was still trying to avoid Robin.

She was almost relieved that it was a Friday, only to realize that she'd have to hide all weekend.

During her last class of the day, (Y/n) was wondering if avoiding the girl was worth it.

So, she took her time when the bell rang.

She headed to her locker, gathered her things, and left- or tried to.

Before she could get more than a few feet, she found herself in an empty classroom.

(Y/n) finally came face to face with Robin.

"Listen, I know you've been avoiding me, but I really need to talk to you about what Pam said," Robin said.

(Y/n) shifted uncomfortably but made no moves to leave. Robin took that as a sign to continue speaking.

"I really should have spoken up as soon as I heard what she said, but I was just...so shocked," Robin explained. "I wasn't trying to make you think I didn't like you." (Y/n) raised a brow, a slight tilt to her head.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Robin smiled widely. "I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember," she laughed. "Deep down, I knew that the moment I met you, I was going to fall hard for you. And I did."

(Y/n) took a deep breath, her face getting hot.

"I wasn't shocked because I thought you were a freak that liked girls, I was shocked because you like me, too," Robin finished.

The two inched closer.

(Y/n) somehow lost the ability to speak at the moment, so she merely stared at Robin.

"Can I kiss you?" Robin whispered. (Y/n) gave a small nod.

When Robin leaned in, both of their eyes fluttered shut.

Their lips softly met. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it was still wonderful to finally experience.

When they pulled away, they smiled at each other.

"Y'know, when I imagined finally kissing you, I didn't think it'd be in a classroom," (Y/n) eventually spoke. Robin chuckled, her smile growing as she rested her forehead against (Y/n)'s shoulder.

"I'm just glad it happened."

"Me too."

[prism-sakura-s]

Animal Skins AU

Finally have the courage to make my own au and release it into the world so here it is: an animal brides au inspired by overly sarcastic production’s latest video and cosmo sheldrake’s “the moss”

(Warning: murder/hunting mention, death mention, gun mention, lmk if there’s anymore)

Setting: a mythical world similar to ours, but quite different because I didn’t want to worry about where specific animals lived. so basically the only differences is where all the animals live

Characters

Logan Tala

species: human

sexuality: aromantic asexual

gender: male

raised in an orphanage run by nuns

graduate of The Saint Teresa College, also run by the nuns he grew up with

having been brought up in a catholic school with a mostly conservative staff, it wasn’t until he met Sister Tanya, a closeted lesbian asexual nun, that he started to accept his sexuality.

loves nature and space, but is strangely indifferent to robots, stating that “The truly compelling kind of science, is the kind that was not created by mankind, and therefore can never truly be understood.”

he’s poetic like that

while very intelligent and appreciative of the goals and services the educational system provides, he also (rather surreptitiously) absolutely hates it due to its outdated method of shoving information down students’ throats without giving any real thought or care to keep the pupils interested. not to mention the fact that homework and projects can keep a student up late at various hours, thus throwing off their circadian system and not letting them get the required time for sleep

is the kind to scroll wikipedia for hours

Patton Uycoco

species: human

sexuality: bisexual

gender: demiboy

went to the same school as Logan, and is his closest friend

also struggled with their sexuality as well as their gender, not really experiencing dysphoria but feeling like something was off

was introduced to Sr. Tanya by Logan, who helped them come to terms with their orientations

loved animals, but mostly just mammals, birds, and cute fishes. anything creepy-looking or said to be dangerous (snakes, spiders, nautilus, sharks, octopuses are a bit in-between, etc.) were squicks for them

cartoon and musical lover!

loved Dodie (yes she exists in this au because I can and also she’s basically a goddess and deserves to be in every universe) as well as some other mainstream artists (still loves 1D, cried when they broke up)

Roman Sanders

species: therianthropic (deer)

sexuality: gay af

gender: male

brother of Remus Sanders

ADHD

half therianthropic, half human. his mother was therianthropic, a deer capable of turning into a human. she fell in love with roman’s father and married him, giving birth to Roman and Remus shortly after. however, only Roman inherited her (technically) shape-shifting powers

his mother was killed by a hunter when he was 15

was homeschooled by both his parents along with his brother, but after his mother died was educated by his father only

not incredibly fond that his “spectacular skill” consists of turning into a deer. often wishes he could be something more “brave and dangerous”, like a lion or bear. has even occasionally said he’d settle on a horse, because “at least those beautiful creatures can knock a b*tch out”

not that he disrespects his mother, of course

Roman really misses her

loves his brother, but is also incredibly creeped out by him so he never admits it

loud

loves (hyperfixates on) musicals, the occasional video game, cartoons, mythology, greek and latin history and architecture, and literature

met Logan at a history convention, swapped numbers and eventually became close friends. was introduced to Patton shortly after and bonded over their shared love of cartoons and musicals

Virgil Noctis

species: therianthropic (leopard cat)

sexuality: panromantic, asexual

gender: genderfluid

hard of hearing due to a gunshot they heard when they were very young

ran away in a panic and ended up at a small cottage owned by a sweet farmer lesbian couple

was adopted by the lesbians and grew up under their care

attended Greenfield for grade school and high school, but never attended college as they didn’t have enough money to afford it

very very anxious, especially about their disability

(they can’t hear people, though they can read lips well, what if they react wrong? they can’t even hunt properly, what if they get eaten in the wild?)

they can, in fact, communicate and hunt well :)

often uses their phone to communicate with others

was very nervous when they came out to their moms about being genderfluid, and while their parents were confused at first, they eventually learned to understand and accept their child’s gender orientation

needs to have headphones or loud speakers in order to listen to music

likes emo music (mcr, tøp, p!atd etc. because those exist here too yay) as well as dodie, tessa violet, orla gartland and lauren aquilina

(plus billie eilish of course)

very interested in conspiracies

met Roman while hanging out in the woods

(they saw him turn into a human and freaked out before remembering that it was a thing some people did sometimes and oh yeah they are one of those people)

Remus Sanders

species: human

sexuality: aro-spec, a-spec (questioning)

gender: trans male

twin brother of Roman Sanders

actually a bit jealous of Roman for getting all the cool powers, but still loves him nonetheless

also loves annoying his baby brother to death

(yes, baby brother, albeit by an hour)

also misses his mother a lot, though he’ll admit he was closer to his father

dysphoric, always tries his best to feel like a guy though he hates polo shirts or... anything with a folded collar

loves creepy/scary animals, movies, games etc.

watches conspiracy videos on the daily like Virgil, but likes to focus more on paranormal activities

speaking of Virgil, when they first met he did creep them out a bit, but discovered they both watched conspiracy videos and bonded from there

met the others through Roman

Dante

species: therianthropic (timber rattlesnake)

sexuality: queer

gender: agender

human contact whats that

yeah so basically they only learned how to speak from the passing hunters and hikers in the forest as well as the other therianthropic animals

sometimes they would obtain and collect books (doesn’t matter where from and how, not important) and eventually taught themselves how to read

kinda sick of being the kind of animal that humans screamed at and ran away from upon seeing them

and if it wasn’t that, it would normally involve being captured

he always escapes of course

the first time they were handled by a human without malicious intent was by a 16-year old Remus, who tripped over them while on a leisurely stroll to find some tarantulas

Remus brought them home and housed them kindly

he was the first person Dante revealed his human self to

long story short Dante moved in with the Sanders family and perfected their English during their stay there

also Roman screamed like a little girl upon seeing Dante for the first time

he denies it’s ever happened

Remy Diaz-Picani

species: human

sexuality: gay

gender: deminonbinary

a nature photographer

married to Emile

Emile Diaz-Picani

species: human

sexuality: gay, aceflux

gender: male

a zoologist, works in tandem with Remy

married to Remy

Anyways, that’s all I got for now, I might add some stuff later on. Also if I made any mistakes regarding Virgil’s disability or the like, please let me know, this would be my first attempt at writing disabilities in a (hopefully) pretty big project like this.

[mtvswatches]

Friends 1x23 The One With The Birth

In a nutshell: Ross and Susan fight over who loves the baby the most and Phoebe teaches them a lesson. Monica is having a breakdown over the fact she is neither married nor a mother. Rachel tries to get a date with a doctor. Joey helps a single mom during labor.

Chandler: Chandler tries to comfort Monica by telling her that she will have a baby and that if neither of them is married by the time they’re forty, they can get married and have babies together. This was obviously not meant to be any kind of foreshadowing for these two but ended up being a great one nonetheless. Chandler ends up saving Monica from the hellish phone call with her mom and comforting her when she breaks down crying.

Joey: While in the waiting room, Joey meets a single lady who is in labor – played by Leah Remini – and who shares his love for basketball. He immediately jumps to help her. This is something that Joey doesn’t get enough credit for – for all his macho, womanizer bullshit, he’s also very sweet and caring, especially towards women. He stays in the room with her and even though she kicks him out when he asks her about the baby daddy, he uses the pretense of their opposing sports views to go back in and stay by her side. She finally has the baby, and when Joey is about to go back into the room to bring her some presents, he sees that the baby daddy finally showed up and decides to quietly leave. The first time watching, I thought this was going to be a Joey arc, but I guess the writers didn’t feel he was ready to date yet, let alone date a woman who had just had a baby. In any case, it allowed the character to have some depth, probably for the first time.

Monica:  Monica gets baby fever just by being in a hospital and seeing all the newborns and women in labor. Monica then snaps at Chandler when he implies that she might not be married by the time she’s forty, which I think has more to do with her own hang-ups than Chandler actually believing she’s not “marriage material.” Things get worse when she calls her mom and the always caring and sweet Judy tells her this “might be her only chance to see one of her grandkids be born.” Judy is the worst. Just pick up the sock and shut up, Judy. Monica finally has a very sweet moment with her nephew, but I feel like for all her obsession with babies she didn’t really have a close relationship with Ben. Am I the only one who feels that way?

Phoebe: Phoebe plays an amazing song which everyone should listen to before even considering having unprotected sex (watch here.) Phoebe finds Ross and Susan arguing and gets them inside a closet and scolds them for shouting while there are people around them trying to have babies. Of course, the three of them end up stuck in the closet. I guess Susan must have hated that. During their shouting duel, Phoebe points out that the baby is the luckiest baby in the whole world because he has three parents who are fighting over who loves him the most, and that certainly puts a damp on the whole fighting thing. Phoebe ends up donning a hospital worker’s jumpsuit to see if she can crawl through the vents, but gets left behind when a janitor opens the door. Apparently, she does end up crawling through the vents as she gets to see the baby’s birth. 

Rachel: Rachel meets Carol’s obstetrician and can I just say that I don’t get ladies who get huge boners for doctors? I feel it’s an American thing. Anyway, she even goes back to the apartment to change her outfit. Rachel is shown to have some serious daddy issues as Chandler questions her obsession with doctors and as it turns out, her father is a doctor himself. Rachel ends up staying next to Carol while she’s in labor, but only so that she can flirt with her doctor. After having invested all the day flirting with the doctor, he confesses he has problems having relationships with women because of his job – and tbh, I’ve used the “coffee” metaphor on multiple occasions to talk about my job.

Ross: Ross gets into a peeing contest with Susan over the stupidest things – like who has the best watch or who can bring Susan some ice chips first. Ross kind of loses it when Susan tells him that the baby will be named “Jordy.” No offense to all the Jordys of the world, but who calls their kid that? Anyway, Ross gets angry about the fact that he wasn’t even a part of the final decision, and I know that a lot of people give Ross a lot of flack for the way he antagonized Susan, but he was rightfully angry, okay? This is his kid, and he’s trying hard to be a part of his life, he is not a deadbeat father, he wants to be involved and it is his right. Granted, this was neither the time nor the place to have such an argument, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was right. Carol ends up kicking both of them out. Ross and Susan finally open up about their feelings regarding their roles in both Carol’s and the baby’s lives – Ross points out that he wanted to be by Carol’s side because he won’t get to go home with either her or the baby, while Susan confesses she feels insecure about her role in the baby’s life. After Carol has the baby, they all agree to call him Ben, inspired by Phoebe’s speech and the jumpsuit she wore.

Some after thoughts:

1) Does someone else think it made no sense for all the friends to be in the room with Carol while she was having the baby? I mean, I get that her parents were mad at her for the whole lesbian thing, but didn’t she have any close friends or family of her own that would be with her…?

2) I feel this is one of the first episodes that felt cohesive and relevant as a whole, with all the cast getting a relevant storyline and all of the plots being both entertaining and meaningful.

One Iconic Scene:

Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[writinglionqueen]

Something I wanted to share since it was pride month; my coming out story.

For the record, you as an individual do not have to come out if you are not safe/comfortable coming out. It takes a lot to come out sometimes and, sometimes, staying in the closet is safer than coming out. Do so when you are safe. With that, this can be long and emotional for some so put your mental health first if you feel like coming out stories can be triggering for some so please don’t read if it might. There’s not a lot of bad in this story, but I don’t know how others may perceive my story. (Also, as a note, a lot of my language is kinda informal in terms of finding all this out...that’s kinda the point. I was learning who I was throughout the entirety of my life and this is kinda how I rationalized who I was and how I observed everything and how I came to terms with it)

If you didn’t read my header, I’m bi. I’ve been out since 2016. I will explain the process of me figuring it out and how I told everyone. 

So, I think I knew I was different from elementary school. I would call myself a tomboy and be “one of the guys.” I didn’t like the things the other girls liked; i.e. Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, and Justin Beiber. Instead, I always played with the boys (this could also be because I couldn’t find a girl who was into the same things as me). I would play kickball (even if I sucked). I would play Pokemon and pretend to be superheroes with the three boys I hung out with. Elementary school was also the first time I remembered WWE being a tiny portion of my life. I would pretend to be Kelly Kelly and pretend to beat up the boys (we obviously couldn’t wrestle on the blacktop so we pretended to fight bad guys as WWE people). But I was always that girl who didn’t like to be girly. Not by a long shot so I associated myself with boys and kinda had the thought process that overly girly-girls had cooties (yikes to little me). 

In elementary school, I was pretty sure my art teacher was “different.” What I mean by this, and my twin and I talked about it a little more recently in life than when we were in elementary school, because she had incredibly short hair, kinda like a boy style. My twin had recently told me that she doesn’t ever remember out art teacher ever referring to her SO other than partner. Looking back at her now, I am pretty sure she was/is a lesbian. I liked her though. She was creative and made me laugh during the scathes amount of art classes we had with her. (So she could technically be my first interaction with a lesbian. I can’t confirm or deny since I’ve been trying to find her on social media)

Moving into middle school, this was technically my first real experience around a lesbian. There was this girl who was the only one out. She was very much the “tom-boy” persona. As I knew of her in middle school, she had a girlfriend in the 8th grade who was super femme. During the 8th grade, one of my friends decided to have a sleepover and invite the two girls (even though she kinda grumbled about how she didn’t want the two alone.) So at the sleepover, all the girls were supposed to sleep in the large family sized tent they had set up for us. We hung out in it until the early morning, until then some girls wanted to sleep while others played truth and are. Let’s just say, they dared the lesbian couple to make out, they did and it ended with the tom-boy lesbian fingering her femme girlfriend. It didn’t confuse me, but it did make me really think about those kinds of things. This is when sexuality was technically first introduced to me because I think I remember being turned on by what happened. 

In late elementary school to middle school. I had a downstairs neighbor who became my friend since she was a year older than me. I think I developed a crush on her since I would become quite jealous if her time wasn’t spent with me. I also thought about holding her hand and liking her. (I didn’t recognize that I liked her until recently when I thought about how long I’ve been bi.)

In high school, I remember there was this dancer who I technically recognized as being my first actual girl crush. I say this because I remember telling my twin one time that I thought she was pretty and my twin kinda laughed at me. She was one of those popular chicks and she kinda treated me like...I had a mental/learning problem (a lot of people I think did but that was because I was quiet and I think I asked a lot of stupid questions). She was the first I technically and literally thought about in a romantic/sexual way. But I never dated girls (and I still haven’t. I’ve dated two guys but...I wasn’t attracted to either at all)

Within this time, I discovered Tumblr and the ease of finding 18+ content when I shouldn’t have. (Most of us been there). With this content, though, this was the only way I discovered and explored my sexuality. (But with the limitations that I only got the sexual lens of wlw and mlm and not the romantic side of things, but for those who don’t know, many LGBTQ+ individuals struggle explorations due to the lack of resources so most of us figured out things through porn and other 18+ content). It technically helped me figure out masturbation as a woman and what I was attracted to and what I wasn’t but I always felt ashamed by it because I knew if I was caught I’d probably be shamed by my mother (more so for the 18+ content and masturbating but not the sexuality part). I think my twin is the only person I’ve ever told that I had a crush on a girl at this time. A lot of my friend group in high school (mainly those a year older) were queer in a way or an ally. They made me feel loved as I learned new terms within my high school years of the LGBT. So, closer to the end of my senior year, I knew I liked girls and I liked guys. 

For me, I never was afraid to come out. My mom/family had never given me a reason to be afraid of having a different sexuality. I’ve heard my mom verbally praise LGBTQ+ people before I came out. 

So when I moved to college, grew a little on my own, I knew who I was. During national coming out day of 2016, I made a quick Facebook post saying that “I’m pretty sure I’m bi.” 

I didn't feel afraid, but I was nervous about the reactions of my family and friends that I tuned in on the comments and likes and loves my post got. No one was mean or upset or called me names. The reaction of my mom was not something I was thinking about. I wasn’t dreading it. I wasn’t terrified to hear what she had to say. She never had given me a reason to be afraid. 

Instead, she told me she was proud. That she wasn’t mad or upset that I was me. And that she still loved me no matter what. 

So it was out there that I was bi. 

When I went home for Thanksgiving break, closer to that time, we went out to eat sushi closer to the end of it. The topic of relationships and stuff came about. I think my parents were discussing with my younger sisters that they just wanted to make sure my little sisters were safe. I remember distinctly that my mom said she didn’t have to worry about me, but she also didn’t know if I had a boyfriend or girlfriend where I was staying for college. it made my heart full to hear my mom say that and acknowledge it out loud. 

During the summer between my sophomore and junior year, something went sour. I don’t know why it came up, why it needed to come up but my mom was talking to my sisters and me about the things she technically found annoying that we do. 

My fault in her eyes is that I’m very opinionated and I have the egotistical mindset that I’m always right. (I am opinionated, I’ll give her that, but I never ever said out loud that I think I’m always right. The air that I probably radiate this mindset I will admit to but) In lieu of this...she says out loud, that I am not bisexual. My heart shatters and I close myself off. 

Her reasoning for telling me this is to not think of my sexuality as being the only part of me. I didn’t think I ever gave the air that my sexuality is my only identifier but she wanted to talk to me that it isn’t my only identity. 

But, she also states that I can’t claim myself to be bisexual because I’ve never experienced sex with either gender (a surprise from your girl, I’m a virgin). She negates my sexuality because she feels as though she has more life experience to tell me that I am not bisexual, just bicurious. Wrong. Big wrong. (During my sophomore year, my mom and my stepdad cheated on each other, which lead to us finding out my mother is also bisexual but she could never be upfront about it because of our family friends) But, in her eyes, I can not claim my own sexuality because of my virginity to either sex and because she, as an older bi woman, says so because of her experience. 

Let me tell you, because of her telling me this, I had the worst breakdown I’ve ever experience in my life. We had the talk again with my stepdad (he wasn’t present for the first time) in which case he reiterates what my mom told me. I can’t be bisexual because I never had sex before. But both were trying to just tell me to not let my sexuality be my only part of my identity that I cling to. 

But as he was saying this, I got a panic attack and I didn’t want to listen to a word he had to say and I’m muttering I don’t want to hear it as I basically sob in my living room. Yeah...that’s the worst feeling I’ve ever felt in my life and I still think about it to this day. 

Because of my parents basically trying to negate my sexuality and not let me identify myself (I would rather not say that I know I like girls because I fantasize about them in various scenarios [pretty sure my mom or my stepdad asked what I’d do if I didn’t like girls as I thought...as if it’ll change]), I basically had shut down that part of myself and being a LGBTQ+ voice in front of them. 

On social media, however, I’m vocal about LGBTQ+ related things...but, sometimes, I feel like I’m being/claiming bisexual to spite them. And I don’t want to feel like I am. That’s not fair to me. 

Sometimes, I fear wearing my LGBTQ+ Balor shirt in public...sometimes, I still fear my mom will not revert back to the comment she made about me liking boys and girls. 

I never confronted her that these emotions are things I still face even though it’s been almost a year since my mom had said that to me. I feel like I overreacted on everything but I’m still stagnant on my sexuality since I get to decide who I am and what I identify as. As I feel that everyone should be able to do. 

I wrote this technically for myself, so I can understand that hey, maybe I knew I was bi all along and never really knew it (which….I felt like I figured it out). 

To those who are closeted, to those who are out and know the feeling, and to those who are not LGBTQ+ identifying: you never stop coming out. 

I still have to remind some people that I also like girls and that my framework isn’t only hung up on men. Sometimes, I have to remind people that f*g and f*ggot are words I will not tolerate being said (even though I’ve never been personally bullied with them). I still have to remind people that EVERYONE experiences their coming out differently and that they are still trying to figure themselves out daily. I have to remind people that there are those who are fluid about their identity and that there are those who are stagnant on how they identify themselves as. These are things I still have to remind people because the world doesn’t necessarily hand this info out to everyone. That needs to change. 

I wanted to share my story on the last day of pride months because....why not?

I’ve never shared it before and coming to terms with my sexuality and what it means to me has helped me processed a lot of how my past has shaped my future and who I am as a person today. 

By the way, I do love my mom. I really do. I feel like she messes up a lot when it comes to a lot of different things. 

Hopefully, I can tell her how much I still hurt when it comes to hearing her words in my head. Hopefully, I can do this soon, because that pain eats away at me sometimes. Her words haunt me and make me doubt myself and make me ask myself if I truly know who I really am or do other people know me better. (They don’t but those are the questions I may bring up to her if I ever want to talk about this)

I’m bisexual and that is not going to change or be vilified by someone else’s experiences on my identity to fit their means or their experiences. And if I’m wrong, hey I’m wrong (I’m not though. Not this time.)

So take my story as you will. Comment if you like if you can compare my story to yours of if you want to share your experiences and hardships, go for it. I just needed to get this off my chest. And, hey, I’m down to hear other people’s life experiences in terms of how they found out they were LGBTQ+ and how others received them. Or if anyone as kind words to me, I’d take that as well. 

Thanks to any who read this and have shown me support. 

I love you all. 

-Your friendly bisexual writer, Bri

[missjanjie]

Branjie Fic | Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer (10/11)

Title: Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer Summary: Brooke Lynn is a graduate student anxiously embracing her new position as her favorite dance professors’ new TA. Vanessa is a sophomore dance major who just might make her way into being more than the teacher(assistant)’s pet. (lesbian/university AU) Word Count: ~2.5k (this chapter)/~26.3k (total) Relationship: Branjie (Vanessa ‘Vanjie’ Mateo/Brooke Lynn Hytes) Rating: E

Read on AO3 | Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch.5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9

“We shouldn’t have to do work right before break,” Vanessa whined, head down on her desk. It was the last college writing class before Thanksgiving break, and her last class period, leaving her with no motivation.

“Considering how much we pay for tuition, we better get our money’s worth,” Yvie replied casually, “Are you having trouble with it?” she turned slightly, better facing her classmate.

Vanessa nodded, lower lip jutting out in a pout. “It don’t make sense, write about communication that doesn’t involve talking. Talking is the only way I communicate, and I do it a lot,” she explained.

“I’ve noticed,” Yvie chuckled. “Just go for something obvious, you know? Write about something like love languages,” she suggested, then looked at Vanessa’s blank stare before continuing. “Love languages are the different types of ways people express affection. Obviously, yours is verbal. Not just in general, but like, with Brooke Lynn. All your big romantic gestures involve words – the main reason everyone picked up on you guys was your inability to ever shut up about her.”

This caused Vanessa to blush and look down, tapping her pen against the paper. “So, what are the other types?”

“Physical’s one,” Yvie shrugged. “For some people, it’s going out of their way to spend time with someone, others best communicate affection through gifts, or some people do it through like, going out of their way to help someone with tasks,” she added. “And next time I’m charging you for doing your work for you so—” she realized Vanessa had brightened up and started scribbling fervently. “Okay then.”

By that afternoon, Vanessa and Brooke Lynn had officially finished and were ready to enjoy Thanksgiving break together. Vanessa had gone right to Brooke’s apartment after class, finding her curled up on the couch and saddling up to her side. “Is there anything else we have to do before tomorrow?”

Brooke shrugged and wrapped her arm around her. “No, but I was thinking…maybe we could go shopping? I wanna get you a nice new outfit for tomorrow,” she was hesitant in her suggestion, not wanting to create tension again.

But to her surprise, Vanessa smiled and nodded. “Yeah, alright.”

“Wow, I was expecting an argument on that,” Brooke admitted with a laugh. “Maybe you’ll let me take you to a salon tomorrow, get our hair done before we head over to your aunt’s,” she hummed.

“Well, I learned something today,” Vanessa smiled. “And I realized you don’t keep trying to buy things for me or pamper me because you feel sorry for me or you think you need to take care of me. That’s just your way of showing me you love me. And I should appreciate it a little more,” she explained.

This did admittedly take Brooke Lynn by surprise, but it touched her. “That’s so profound,” she hummed. “But I guess you’re right. That’s always been the Hytes family way of showing affection. And I know I don’t say enough about how important you are to me, and I guess that’s something I need to work on too,” she mused.

Vanessa grinned and kissed her cheek. “Look at us. We’re such mature adults in a relationship. Now let’s go get some nice clothes so I can make my mommy proud.”

----------

Brooke Lynn stared into the mirror after she finished her makeup. She was nervous – was it too much? Too little? Did it go with her clothes? Should she wear earrings, or would it be over the top? “What time is your aunt expecting us, Vanjie?” she asked, deciding on small stud earrings to put in.

“It’s called for four, which means she’s probably expecting us at like, five. But that’s not happening,” Vanessa replied with a laugh. “My mom’s taking the air train from JFK, so…” she furrowed her brows in thought. “Her flight gets in around three, and she’s taking the train from Jamaica to Penn Station and taking the A train over to her apartment…that’ll get her there by a quarter after four without delays,” she explained, then looked over at Brooke. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“…I don’t know, but now I’m horny,” she answered.

Vanessa laughed and nudged her playfully. “Shut up. We’ll have plenty of time for that tomorrow,” she assured and pulled her coat on.

The subway ride was the most nerve-wracking one Brooke Lynn had ever been on. She was sure Vanessa had been saying something to her, and she just hoped it wasn’t anything important, because she couldn’t have listened if she tried, her mind lost in an anxiety-induced haze.

It was bad enough that Vanessa had to yank her off of the subway when they got to the stop. “Are you okay?” she asked. “Look, I know this is like…a big deal, but I wouldn’t keep you home from Canada if I didn’t think we were ready for this,” she smiled and squeezed her hand, holding it the whole way of the five minute walk to the apartment, and up the two flights of stairs to the door.

“¡Hola mija!” a woman – presumably her aunt – hugged Vanessa tightly. “And you must be Brooke Lynn, how nice to meet you,” she beamed, hugging her with the same enthusiasm and ushered the two girls inside, taking their coats and tossing them into the closet. “Oh, everyone is so excited to see you, Vanessa. And we’ve heard so much about you, Brooke Lynn,” the woman was so sweet, so bubbly and kind that Brooke couldn’t help but feel at ease as they were led into the living room.

There were seven or eight other people, all talking and laughing, but their attention was immediately diverted to the girls. They all got up at once, greeting them, introducing themselves to Brooke, who smiled warmly as she greeted each member of Vanessa’s family.

And sure enough, at a quarter after four, Vanessa’s mother arrived. Vanessa ran to her and hugged her tight before bringing her over to Brooke Lynn. “And this is Brooke Lynn, the girl I told you about.”

Brooke Lynn took a deep breath – this was what she had been practicing for. “Es un placer conocerte. Tu hija me ha tratado muy bien, estoy feliz de poder ver de dónde viene,” her pronunciation was a little stilted, but she had managed to get the phrase out without any errors, Vanessa and her mom both nodding in approval. “Oh, thank god. I’ve been practicing all night,” she whispered to Vanessa.

“I know, I didn’t fall asleep til two thanks to you,” Vanessa retorted at normal volume with a laugh.

Vanessa’s mom looked between them with a surprised expression. “Oh! You two are…sharing a room?”

“What, like we’re supposed to believe Vanessa is staying in that crappy dorm room instead of with the Victoria’s Secret angel?” one of her cousins chimed in with a knowing smirk.

“As long as that crappy dorm still costs money!” her mom retorted, causing Vanessa to look guilty because her cousin was right – she hadn’t slept in her dorm room in weeks.

“That’s why she’s going to move in with me next semester,” Brooke blurted out. Even though suggesting it the last time had led to an argument, maybe now Vanessa would see why it made more sense than continuing to pay for a room she didn’t use.

“What?” the three Mateos questioned in unison.

Brooke swallowed thickly, eyes darting around. “I-It’s just financially logical, you know? Think of how much money she’d save on room and board. And uh…when she starts working again, she can start contributing to the rent!”

Vanessa chewed on her lip and looked down. “That’s actually a really good point,” she mumbled, then stood upright. “It’s a better option…I should’ve taken it the first time she offered,” she admitted. No one could add anything further, because dinner was called, and everyone gathered into the dining room and took their seats. Grace was said in Spanish, so Brooke Lynn just mouthed along, trying not to get distracted by how good the food smelled. Then, dinner went underway, and the room refilled with the vibrant energy it’d had before.

“Ay, Vanessa, do you ever feed this girl?” her aunt laughed, gesturing to the fact that Brooke Lynn had hardly stopped to speak since she began eating, practically keeping on par with Vanessa’s brothers, both of whom looked like football players.

Brooke blushed fiercely, pausing to finish the forkful in her mouth. “Sorry, uh, the food is delicious Mrs.—”

“Oh, no, please, call me Maria,” she insisted, cutting her off. “And thank you, querida,” she smiled.

Brooke Lynn could easily say this has been the best Thanksgiving she ever had, but it was also the first one, not counting the ‘friendsgiving’ parties she’d partaken in over the course of her undergrad. She had never experienced such love and light and warmth confined to a nine hundred square-foot apartment. This wasn’t to say she didn’t enjoy time with her own family, but in a way, it felt like she fit right in here too.

Once dinner had finished, Brooke Lynn had started to assist in cleaning up when one of Vanessa’s brothers tapped her shoulder. “You got a minute?”

“Sure,” Brooke smiled pleasantly and followed him out to the balcony. She rests her arms on the railing, looking out at the city landscape with a content sigh. “What’s up, Jose?” she turned back to face him.

Jose was leaning against the wall as he lit a cigarette, taking a drag before joining Brooke Lynn against the railing. “Listen, I know this is the part where I’m supposed to threaten you if you hurt my sister, but it doesn’t feel right because, you know…”

“Because you don’t want to threaten a girl?”

“No, not that. I’ve threatened Vanessa’s girlfriends before. But I don’t think you’re like them,” he explained, taking another drag before offering the cigarette to Brooke.

“No thanks, I’m still using the gum to ween off that,” she chuckled dryly. “I like to think I’m not like them either. Sometimes I’ll be talking to her and realize that she must not have been treated right in the past. Breaks my heart, you know what a good person she is,” she added softly. “I wouldn’t be offended if I haven’t earned your trust yet.”

Jose shrugged. “I don’t trust no one but my mama. But I can see how happy you make her, how much she means to you. That, and you haven’t been scared off yet, so, I gotta respect you for that,” he mused.

Brooke Lynn beamed warmly. “Thank you,” she hummed, turning so her back was propped against the railing instead, elbows resting on the ledge. “I don’t think anything can scare me off at this point. Think I’m in it for the long haul, you know?”

“You in love with her?”

“Yeah,” Brooke’s tone was soft, shy. She and Vanessa had said ‘I love you’ to each other so many times, but confirming she was in love with her, especially to someone like her brother, felt all the more intimate. She stood silently for a moment, trying to recall the other Spanish phrases she had taught herself. “Creo que…algún día…podría casarme…con ella,” she spoke slowly, brows knitted in thought and hands gesticulating as she did.

Jose looked at her, mildly stunned. “You know you just said that you—”

“I know what I said.”

He nodded and clasped her shoulder. “Entonces tienes mi bendición, Brooke Lynn,” he gave her shoulder a squeeze before he put out the cigarette in an ash tray before they walked back inside.

“Where y’all been?” Vanessa asked from the couch, holding a mug between both her hands and sipping from it.

Brooke shrugged and smiled as she sat back down with Vanessa, kissing her cheek. “Just having a little chat, baby,” she hummed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, gently caressing her cheek in the process. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting,” she glanced over to see Jose whispering animatedly in Spanish, but it was too fast and quiet for her to even attempt to translate it.

By the time things were winding down, the girls were getting their things together to leave. Maria insisted on sending them back with containers of leftovers, and neither of them had any interest in rejecting it. They both said goodbye to everyone, making promises to visit again as soon as their schedules allowed for it.

As they walked down the street to the subway, Vanessa turned to Brooke Lynn. “You still not gonna tell me what you and Jose talked about?”

Brooke shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. And…sorry about springing the moving in thing on you, I was just trying to save face for both of us.”

“It’s fine,” Vanessa assured. “You was right, it’s not like I’m trying to mooch off of you, we’re just…a couple moving in together. It’s uh…what’s it called…mutually beneficial,” she hummed. “Besides, it’s a hell of a lot harder to fuck in that twin bed.”

“Exactly,” Brooke giggled. “I really do like your family. I’ve never had a holiday quite like that before,” and it was true, her family and Vanessa’s were wildly different, but she enjoyed both in their own ways. And when the time comes, she would bring Vanessa up north to meet her family as well. Had this been anyone else, she would have run away by now. This was moving fast for her – it had only been three months, after all. But it didn’t seem to matter as long as they were this happy.

“Do you think your mom liked me?” Brooke asked as they got inside the apartment. “She seemed so nice, but did she say anything to you?”

Vanessa let out a soft laugh as she hung up her coat and toed out of her shoes. “She adores you, boo. Everyone does. Not that I ever expected anything different,” she assured, walking over to kiss her. “I’ve never taken a girl to a major holiday before, so I guess no one really knew what to expect,” she mused.

They retired to the bedroom soon after, tired, full, and ready for the good night’s sleep they knew was to follow. “Hey Vanjie?” she asked as they lay in quiet darkness.

Vanessa stirred slightly. “Hm?”

“How do you say, ‘I love you’ in Spanish?”

Vanessa smiled warmly. “Te amo,” she yawned, her eyes staying closed.

“Te amo,” Brooke echoed with a nod. “Is there a way to differentiate that from ‘I’m in love with you’?” she asked after another moment.

This time, Vanessa opened her eyes and looked at her, the lights of the city peeking through the blinds giving her just enough light to see her face. “Do you?”

Brooke beamed, gently carding her fingers through Vanessa’s hair. “I do,” she answered.

“Then all you need to know is that the feeling is mutual,” she hummed before passing right back out for the night.