#please have a lovely week and as always stay safe out there <33

[frogchiro]

HII HII ur writing is perf 4 this idea but you don’t hav 2 do it !! i js thought of u <3 little red riding hood reader & big bad wolf (ko, ghost, price) any cod guy & i think it’s js soo cute !!!

[art by doujinpearl]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THIS IS SO CUTE??? YOU NEVER MISS LOVE!!! And thank you it really means a lot to me that you like my silly writing <33

tw// horror elements and this has like one mention of a 'off-screen' death but no one major

I think I'm gonna go with König for this one?? Bc something about him just screams big bad wolf to me y'know? Also for the sake of this story, König is described like on the pics above, so his lower half is life a literal werewolf.

okay also i'm putting this under the cut because this somehow grew into a whole fic?? My dear @9irly9irl if you see this know that I love you and this was so. freaking. enjoyable to write??? I love this so much??? Also I'm sorry for the horror themes but I'm getting ready for October and the gloomy weather outside made me do this. I hope you still enjoy and PLEASE send me more for this au!!

Big bad wolf König who is on the prowl for some time now, he's on a hunt for you, the sweet girl who lives alone with her mother on the edge of the dark forest your good old momma always tells you to stay away from and for good reason. The townsfolk from the villages around whisper in fear and dread about a monster lurking in the woods, half man-half wolf with an insatiable taste for blood; they call the beast König, the undisputed King.

And honestly? König likes that rep. It means less annoying pests wandering around his territory safe for a groups of young guys from time to time who think they have the balls to try and 'kill the beast' but they are dealt with...pretty quickly.

But no, König has his glowing eyes set on something more...Exquisite. On something soft and pliable, sweet smelling and so so pretty. Namely on you. The werewolf guesses he has to be thanking his lucky starts or whatever bullshit that while sniffing around your cottage he overheard your mother talking about going out into the forest to bring her sickly mother, your grandma, a basket full of food and some other supplies and being the sweet little thing that you are, you of course cried and volunteered to go yourself, that your mother is already older and that you will make quick work of it.

König swears that day that his blood never rushed downward to his dick so fast. You, soft little you, all alone in his forest? His territory?? It's like you're begging to get taken and mated! The trek from your cottage to your grandma's home would take you about 2-3 days as she lives deep in the woods, the perfect timing for him to reveal himself and take you away for himself into his den in the darkest parts of the forest where you will have the perfect life with him! No more worrying about food or warmth during the cold, dreary winter months, he is more than a capable provider for his future mate, not to mention your future litter of happy yipping pups you will birth for him! It's a perfect plan!

And so he waits. And waits. And waits until the day you finally leave with your cute basket in tow and a tearful goodbye with your mommy dear that you will return as soon as possible. Yea, sure sweetheart.

I think he'd reveal himself by the time it's getting nighttime, when the sun sets, the air is getting cold and a ominous darkness sets over the forest where your trembling body sits in a makeshift nest made of a blanket and a thick animal pelt under a old, big tree. Everything seems so loud, the cries of nocturnal animals sound much more bleak and unnerving, not to mention the weird, chilling feeling of...something following you. Like there were a pair of eyes trained on you since a few weeks ago but you never mentioned this to your poor mother as you didn't want to worry her, but the feeling only amplified ever since you left your home and went on a trip to your grandmother.

You couldn't help the loud yelp you let out when suddenly a pair of glowing golden eyes appeared in the small clearing around the tree; a pair of glowing, unblinking orbs that seemed to be suspended in the air in the surrounding darkness, the weak fireplace you managed to make doing basically nothing to light up the area and your poor little heart started to beat like crazy when you noticed the eyes moving forward, closer and closer to you until the light finally caught what was moving towards you...or more like who.

It was an enormous man, easily over 7ft tall, his broad, bulky shoulders moving as he stood from the position he was in to his full height and those ominous glowing eyes still were unblinking as they stared at you like you were just some lamb and...you probably were.

The one thing that somehow stood out the most, even amidst literally everything else unnatural about this man, were a pair of ear on top of his head, which only now you noticed was covered in some sort of tattered old hood with holes for the eyes and ears, and a huge fluffy tail which was wagging faster anytime you seemed to look the man over, but what really brought it all together was his lower half...it-it was all fur. His legs were that of some bipedal wolf and in that moment a silent scream tried to make its way out of your throat; it was König, the brutal and unforgiving beast that resided in the surrounding forests, the one that people tell horror stories about around campfire and...he was here. He was here before you to tear you apart and leave nothing behind, not even bones.

Tears were streaming down your face, a look of utter defeat on it because after all, what more could you do? You can't possibly fight him, you can't outrun him, hiding is out of the picture too...You were ready to feel the unimaginable pain of those jaws locking themselves on your throat and draining you of your life but the you felt...warmth? A slick, warm feeling on your cheek and when you opened your eyes a bit you saw what it was. It was König, or more like his long tongue licking away at your cheek in an almost comforting matter, his wide unblinking eyes still trained on you though his pupils seemed to grow in size, now taking over most of the glowing yellow and when he deemed you to be clean of your tears, a large crooked nose with a scar running across it nudged into your cheek and took a deep sniff to get your scent. A stray thought ran through your mind when you took a closer look at his uncovered face and noticed another huge scar across his face and a few smaller ones, who or what in their right mind got close enough to inflict such wounds on someone like König?

When you stayed still and just stared at him wide eyed and out of breath König let out a deep growl like purr of content; he could hear your small aborted breaths still coming out quick and your heart fluttering in your chest like a small erratic bird but he could see that you were a tiny bit calmer now and not on the brink of hysterics like a few seconds before. He couldn't help but grin in delight, a nasty, wide thing that revealed rows of sharp teeth. He finally had you. He had you exactly where he wanted and now you were his. Well not completely yet, you two would need to mate first but still, everyone had to start somewhere right? For now he had you calmed down even for a bit, showed you that he wasn't a threat to you and wasn't going to hurt you. It was still only the night of the first day of your travels and he will offer to guide you, he couldn't possibly allow such a cute young lady to just wander around the deep dark forest all alone, right?

Of course he won't mention it that he will be herding you away from the path and instead guide you deeper and deeper into the heart of the woods where his den in. He won't mention it that he will be making very obvious and insistent advances at you, insisting on staying close at all times and wrapping his huge body around you at night for warmth, nosing and nudging at you to cover you in his scent and maybe make you a little bit hot under that deliciously low neckline of the dress that you're wearing, the cape in a lovely shade of red acting like a blanket to shield you away when König is nosing at your neck and bosom, greedy for all the tiny, shy, flustered noises you make, greedy for making you all hot and ready for him.

And of course he certainly won't mention to you about your poor old granny's corpse, rotting for weeks already in her old, decaying house where she died of some illness or old age. No, no, your new life is here, with him. Forever.

[f1amour]

✧˚ · . 𝐒𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐍

pairing: lewis hamilton x reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 27 lewis is 39), italics are flashbacks, angst. no happy ending

authors note: not spell checked sorryyy. based off this request. heavily inspired by the song so long, london. hope you all enjoy this fic and cry as much as i did writing it <3

─────────────────────────

So (So) long (Long), London (London)

So (So) long (Long), London (London)

So (So) long (Long), London (London)

“Flight 444 from London to Mexico City will begin boarding in ten minutes please have your passports and tickets ready.”

Even a number reminded you of him. It was good you’ll be leaving this place that reminded you so much of him. You didn’t want to leave but you had to.

“I just don’t understand why you didn’t come to me and talk about it. You said you’d retire with Mercedes then we would start a family. Now I’m finding out through social media that you signed with Ferrari for 2025?” You call after Lewis who had walked into the house with you standing in the living room with a pissed off look on your face.

“I don’t understand why I need to discuss that with you. It’s my career not yours, you don’t have one.” He says and immediately regrets it.

“Because I gave it up for you! To be the happy and proud girlfriend who went to every race and stays behind the cameras. The one you go home with. The one who supports you through every thing. Who celebrates your big wins and the smallest ones. I’m not taking this disrespect from you, Lewis.”

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift

Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away

My spine split from carrying us up the hill

Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill

I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe

Lewis had convinced you to give him a year with Ferrari and after you two would get engaged and have your family like you both always wanted.

He still had the 2024 season with Mercedes and was going to make the most of it. You stopped going to every single race deciding to stay home and figure out what you’d be doing with your career. You had met lewis when you were 22 and he was 33. The age difference didn’t bother you but you never thought it would actually get in the way.

It was the opposite as most age gaps are discussed the older one wants a family by now and the younger one still wants to make a life for themselves before having a family.

You were ready for the next step you wanted to marry Lewis after five years together but he was still focused on his career and trying for his 8th championship title.

“I’m gonna be late. I’ve got a meeting with the team and I don’t know how long we will be.” You read the text message from Lewis and sigh deciding to get out of your dress and into some comfortable clothes.

Your usual date nights you had at least one time a week had dissipated to almost none at all. Even when it would be long distance you’d have face time dates with Lewis but recently it’s just been distant with rarely any calls or texts.

You weren’t sure if you could keep going on like this.

Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had. Did you think I had in me?"

Oh, the tragedy

So long, London

You'll find someone

Ticket purchased for Heathrow airport to Mexico City April 18th, 2024. One way.

You had decided it was now or never to leave the relationship. You loved Lewis but feeling like a second choice was no longer the healthy thing in your life. You’ve felt so unloved for awhile now that it was messing with your mental health.

London was your home for so long. He was your home for so long. But it was time to say goodbye.

I didn't opt in to be your odd man out

I founded the club she's heard great things about

I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath

I stoppеd CPR, after all, it's no use

The spirit was gonе, we would never come to

And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

“I’m a bit confused…why am I dropping you off at the airport? I don’t have to leave until a few more days.” Lewis says pulling into the private parking lot.

You get out of the car and grab your suitcases out of the trunk with his help, “I’m done, Lewis. I’m done waiting for you. I’m done being the second choice.”

“No, no, no. You cant do this, y/n!” He shakes his head while you let one of the airline workers grab your suitcases.

“I can do this actually. Just like you can decide our future for the both of us I can break up with you. I’m 27 years old, Lewis. I want to marry you. I want to have your children. I want to support you at every race while being the supportive wife. I’m so in love with you that I would give up everything including my career to make you happy.” You look at him, sadness in your eyes.

It was a realization you both were finally coming to terms with…it wasn’t a healthy relationship anymore. To give someone hopes of a family and marriage one day that may never happens wasn’t right. And to give up your career for him didn’t settle right with him either.

It was the end now.

“I’m so sorry, my love.” He whispers wiping your tears away but they just keep on flowing.

“I’m sorry too. For believing you everytime. I gave up most of my 20’s for you. I gave up the time where I should be enjoying my life and figuring out what I want to do with my career. But I blame myself too because I was so in love that I would look past all our flaws.”

For so long, London

Stitches undone

Two graves, one gun

I'll find someone

“We’ve done so much good for each other. The last few months haven’t been the best but you gave me some amazing years filled with love. I won’t ever forget that.” You tell Lewis kissing his cheek.

His eyes know welled up with tears, “I love you. I know I didn’t show it enough lately but I love you. I always will.”

It was sad to think of but Lewis was your first love.

But you would be his last.

And you say I abandoned the ship

But I was going down with it

My white-knuckle dying grip

Holding tight to your quiet resentment

And my friends said it isn't right to be scared

Every day of a love affair

Every breath feels like rarest air

When you're not sure if he wants to be there

THREE MONTHS LATER.

“Eight times we’ve said it before, here’s a ninth for you. Lewis Hamilton wins the British Grand Prix!” The crew you were with cheer watching the race while you sit there with little to no emotion in your eyes. It was nothing out of the ordinary for them seeing as you told them you didn’t know much about the sport and had no interest in it (all lies).

They had known you for three months now and for that time they have seen you only smile for guests who were on board and when they weren’t you didn’t show much emotion.

They loved your personality when you would show it at times so they assumed it was just some personal problems at home that had you so sad sometimes.

He had finally won after two years of no wins and he had done it in his home. A home that was once yours.

You wanted to cry and shout for him but you felt nothing, your soul had been so empty since leaving him. You hated him for it.

So how much sad did you think I had

Did you think I had in me?

How much tragedy?

Just how low did you

Think I'd go 'fore I'd self-implode?

'Fore I'd have to go be free?

“So we’ve got some guests coming on board later on today they’ll be here for three days. The primary is very well known I am told to not disclose his name until they are here so please as always treat our guests as usual and minding for autographs.” Your captain tells everyone and they all nod in agreement but then start conversing with each other about who it could be.

You were just ready to get back to work and not hear about Lewis’s win for the 100th time today.

It was time to welcome the guests on board and while the crew waits as they walk on board you can’t help but feel some nerves which you never get while on the job.

And as they all come in you realize why you were feeling that way as Lewis now stands right in front of you followed by a group of people (half of them models) which you’d never met before.

You give your fakest smile to them all shaking their hands until it comes to Lewis, your hand only lingers on his for a quick second before you pull away.

One of the models clings on him while you show them around the yacht.

Was it so easy for him to move on? Did he ever really love you?

You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waitin' for the proof

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days

And I'm just getting color back into my face

I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place for

It had been a day with Lewis and his friend on board and you’ve successfully been able to avoid being in a room alone with him. He was shocked how much you’d change in just a short amount of time.

Your eyes no longer holding any emotion in them. Your smile now only held up when attending to guests. You were a completely new person. He wasn’t sure if it was for better or worse.

You’d been setting up the dinner table when you freeze smelling the familiar cologne you’d gotten so used to for five years.

“How did you find me?” You turn to Lewis, him knowing exactly what you meant by the question. He had all the money in the world and chose to travel to Mexico to enjoy his break? His own yacht sitting in Monaco but he chose to go on a different one?

“I…I hired someone to find you. I needed to see how you were doing and you weren’t answering my messages, y/n. What happened? You changed.”

“I changed? Fucking hell I mean what do you think? The person I thought I would marry and grow old with refused to show me any commitment. He failed to love me the last few months we were together. I gave up a career I loved for him and now I’m here attending to other people and their needs…it’s like I never got out of our relationship the way I care for others but myself.” You chuckle, your eyes no longer filled with tears as they usually would have by now.

You felt nothing but at the same time felt everything looking at him.

So (So) long (Long), London (London)

Had (Had) a (A) good (Good) run (Run)

A moment (Moment) of warm sun (Sun)

But I'm (I'm) not (Not) the (The) one (One)

So (So) long (Long), London (London)

Stitches (Stitches) undone (Undone)

Two (Two) graves (Graves) one gun (Gun)

You'll (You'll) find (Find) someone

“I’m not gonna tell you this again but please let me go. I need you to let me go because if I stare at you any longer I will go back. I’ll be yours again. But I’m already lost enough within myself, Lewis. I’ll be okay one day it’s going to take time but I’m grieving. I’m grieving us. Our dreams. You. I’m learning how to live again and it’s not easy but I’ll be okay. But you need to let me go. Please just do that for me?” You beg him. You’d be on your knees begging just so this pain in your heart would finally leave. You loved him so much it hurt but the stars weren’t aligned for both of you.

“Maybe in another life we could have made it?” Lewis says, his hand on your cheek.

You lean into his touch knowing it would be the last time you’d feel him close, “In another life.” You whisper quietly where he barely heard it.

Why not in this life?

[animehideout]

Hello!! can you do a gojo x reader and like gojo is always on a lot of trips to kill curses and stuff and everytime he comes back home all he wants to do is just sleep with you and it starts making you think he only wants you for your body but she just keeps that thought to herself cuz she thought if she tells gojo he might end their relationship untill something happens and she finally breaks down leaving gojo to comfort her

Please and thank you!

My One And Only

Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader ( Reader thinks Gojo is using her for her body )

a/n: thank you anon for this request, I really hope you enjoy this one. And remember guys, don't bottle up your feelings, talk it out , communication is the key <33 love y'all and stay safe.

Warnings 🔞: SMUT NSFW MDNI / NOT PROOFREAD.

Song recommendation: I'll Be Good - Jaymes Young 🎶

♪I never meant to start a fire, I never meant to make you bleed.. I'll be a better man today♪

You sat on your bed, clutching your phone tightly after reading a message from your boyfriend, Gojo Satoru: { Get ready for me, princess. I can't wait till I get home and have you all to myself, all night }.

The words, the familiar message, never seemed to change. While you longed for a more thoughtful, romantic message, disappointment crept in every time you unlocked your phone. You understand his busy schedule and duty as the strongest sorcerer, exorcising curses and protecting others, but what about your feelings? Who protects them?

He's often away on trips, since the higher-ups depend on him for everything. You've always taken pride in his skills and capabilities, that earned the trust of others, making the world feel safer with his presence. But, your bed remains cold, your house feels empty, and he's not physically present when you're sad, need to vent, or simply want to share a laugh. The persistent feeling of loneliness creeps in, filling your mind with unwanted thoughts. Each night concludes with a heavy sigh, as you find solace in cuddling your pillow, questioning the nature of your relationship with him.

You meet once a week, you'd eagerly set the scene for cozy moments ; snuggling, watching a movie, going on a date, or simply chilling and talking. Yet, it always veers into having sex. You love him and want him as much as he wants you but you can't help the disappointment you've felt

“Is he using me?”,

the same thought echoes in your mind week after week. You wanted to communicate your feelings, but the words linger unspoken at the tip of your tongue, always swallowed back, completely offering yourself to him.

Night fell swiftly, the clock ticked so fast, and there you were sat on your bed, half naked, waiting like he told you. You could have refused, but you simply didn't. you missed him and craved the way he touches you, the way he makes you scream his name, the way your eyes tear up from how good and deep he's pounding inside you. The way air gets stuck in your throat when his big veiny hands circle around your delicate neck. You wanted every bit of it, there's no denying in that.

The front door swung open and closed, signaling Satoru's arrival. Your heart quickened, anticipation the long night that waited ahead

“Hey, baby..” he began,

placing his keys on the nightstand and giving you a peck. You managed a weak smile.

“Did you miss me?” he added, stripping himself. “Come on, join me for a shower and help me wash up”.

He gently pulled you towards the bathroom.Your back was pressed to his chest, as he left a trail of kisses on your shoulders and the back of your neck. The warm water relaxing each tensed muscle. You closed your eyes enjoying the sensation. The steam raising from the shower, created a gentle fog turning the bathroom into a cozy space. Too emersed into the cute moments of peace,

“Maybe tonight will be different, maybe he'll stay and won't leave after sex like he always does, saying that he needs to be at work again” you thought to yourself,

hoping that this night, he proves all what you've been overthinking for the last weeks in wrong, but shorty you were pressed against the bathroom wall, warm water still running. A surprised gasp left your mouth at the sudden movement. The cold wall that Gojo pinned you against sent shivers down your spine.

“I can't wait any longer” he whispered to your ear. He turned you and now you're chest hitting the wall, “bend over a bit for me, babygirl” he demanded, growing impatient by each passing second.

A groan escaped his mouth when your tighteness welcomed his hardened cock. A soft moan, slipped from your parted lips as he started moving. The rhythmic sound of water droplets echoed and mixed with the wet clapping sounds, and your moans. Your eyes rolled back, too needy for him as he fucked that spot again and again,

“I fucking love fucking you, I love fucking your body, this pussy is all what I can think about” he said panting.

Little did he know that what he said but turn you off so quickly. Your body, is it all what he wants? he didn't even say 'I love you', his sweet talk was all about what satisfied him, but enough,

“Can you stop please” you said out of the blue, making him look in confusion but kept on going,

“already tired? I've planned a long night for us..but if you want me to stop use your safe word” he chuckled.

“I SAID STOP” you snapped.

Under different circumstances, you'd find joy in his words. However, with all those unspoken emotions weighing on you, hearing him say something like that became your breaking point. He stood still, a hint of concern in his voice as he asked,

“D-did I do something wrong?” His hands rested on your hips from behind.

In that quiet moment, only the sound of the water stream filled the air before you spoke again,

“I don't want to continue, pull it out”.

“Hah is this some kind of joke? why on earth would I stop?”

“Because I don't want to”

“Dont lie to me Y/n, I know you want it, I won't pull out”

“Satoru...please” you said as you moved his hands from your hips.

His brows furrowed as he distanced himself from your body, pulling his length out of you, giving you what you requested. You cleaned yourself and then stepped out of the shower wrapped in your towel, while he observed silently.

Seated on the edge of your bed, you waited for him to join you.He carefully settled beside you, his gaze unwavering on your form.

“So, are you going to tell me why the hell you did that?” he asked, breaking the awkward silence.

Without meeting his eyes, you murmured, “Do you even love me, Satoru?” Your gaze remained fixed on the floor.

“What kind of question is this?”

“Just fucking answer it” you spat out in a harsh tone, catching him off guard.

“I do, of course I love you”

“Haha, funny. Why'd you lie? You just love my body, Satoru, don't you?”

“I love you and I love your body. Can you please explain it to me clearly? Cuz I failed to get your point”

“Oh is that so? okay then I'll explain to you, I'll explain to you how I've been feeling for weeks now, how I'm always left alone, how you always show up once a week, have sex with me and then leave as if I'm your fuck toy, I'll explain how you don't even care, cuz you only care about how to pleasure yourself... I'M NOT YOUR SLUT GOJO SATORU”You yelled.

Caught off guard by you, his blue eyes widened mirroring the disbelief that etched across his face. Your words hung in the air, leaving him momentarily speechless.

“A-are you serious?”

“YES I'M FUCKING SERIOUS, IF YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS ME FADED THEN JUST SAY IT SATORU, BUT DON'T YOU DARE TO FUCK ME EVER AGAIN”

You broke down into tears, hugging your knees, wet hair falling on your face, chest still heavy even though you let out all of your concerns.

“No, no, don't cry, Y/n. Baby, look at me, please” he said softly, a hint of panic in his deep voice.

His fingers gently lifted your chin, making you meet his gaze. Kissing away your tears, he whispered,

“Don't ever think like this again. I love you, Y/n I always have and always will, and nothing can change that”

“Then why'd you leave? It feels like you throw me away everytime after getting what you wanted from me” you expressed with a quiver in your voice.

“I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I never meant to hurt you. I was just scared they might harm you, which is why I minimized our dates”

“Who might hurt me?”

“The sorcerers working against me and the special grade curses. I would never forgive myself if something bad happened to you”

“You know I'll be fine. You don't need to overthink it like that. It's not even my point yet—”

“I know, I know, thats it's always us having sex? thinking that I'm taking advantage of your body? Why didn't you tell me earlier baby? We could've talked it out, I could've explained, we could've done something else... It's just that's how I express love to you, through physical intimacy. I thought you liked it, I thought you were enjoying it. That's why I didn't stop. And I'm sorry about that..” he whispered, looking down, visibly disappointed in himself.

Your gaze lingered on him; you believed him, of course, you just needed that reassurance.

“I thought if I told you you'd break up with me and leave–”

His heart ached, how could you possibly think of that when he loved you with each fiber in his body.

“L-leave you? my life is meaningless without you Y/n how could I ever leave you” he explained pain visible in his tone.

You shrugged, sniffling, looking at him with your teary eyes..

“Come here” he signaled for you to move closer.

His large arms enveloped you in a bear hug as you sat on his lap.

“I love you for you, for your personality, your mind, your laugh, for the way you find beauty in everything. I never meant to disappoint you, and it will never happen again. Next time, if something bothers you, just talk it out and don't bottle it up. I want you to be comfortable all the time, okay?” he exclaimed, kissing the top of your head.

You nodded slowly, further burying your head in his bare chest, your warm breath tickling his skin.

“How about we cuddle and watch your favorite movie? I'll take a day off tomorrow so we can spend more time together, and you're right; I shouldn't be overthinking that much. From now on, not gonna minimize any date, instead, I'll work harder on keeping you safe all the time...You're my one and only Y/n!!” he said with a wide smile, lifting your spirits once again.

You spent the night in each other's arm, eating popcorn and pastries, laughing and joking around, till both of you fell asleep... You indeed helped him learn how to treat you better, helped him express his love in other ways, helped him to take into account your feelings. Communication is all what both of you needed from the very beginning.

Satoru made a promise to you and to himself, to devote his life, strength and efforts to you and your relationship.

[bravo4iscool]

Could you maybe make a comfort one with Simon or Soap please? Like the reader has trauma and gets triggered by something and has a panic attack? If not that's okay! You don't have to! <33

but what if i did both👀? hehehehehehehe

this is an amazing idea! since you didn‘t mention if reader is civilian or military i‘ll go with military… but technically this could also be civilian lol

all i know about ptsd i know because one of the main characters of my favourite series (ray perry from seal team) struggled with ptsd after he was taken hostage. i’m in no way a expert about this whole topic or anything else…

reader‘s call sign is „venom“. and for the love of god idk how to imitate a scottish accent, so please don’t hate me cuz i didn‘t do it🧍🏼

btw IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG! i’m in my final 10 weeks of school and it’s so stressful😭😭

(masterlist)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

john „soap“ mactavish

soap didn‘t know that something was off. he suspected something—maybe—but he wasn‘t 100% sure. so, when you start to disassociate, your pupils dilating he at first wasn‘t sure how to act.

„ey, ey!“ he nudges your shoulder, a visible frown on his face. „venom? venom, hey!“ you don’t answer, your gaze darting around the room.

he waits another second, wondering if you’ll answer but then it clicks and he knows what’s going on. you’re having a ptsd period.

he carefully stepped away from you and looks around. he needs to find out what exactly triggered you. “i’m gonna step away for a second, okay?” he tells you, taking one step after the other.

your head twitches but you don’t answer, only stumble back a little bit. soap wasn‘t unfamiliar with ptsd, ghost suffered from it too, but he didn‘t know you had to fight it. you‘ve always acted to strong and put together, so what was your trigger?

„soap?“ your weak, rasp voice calls out for him and immediately he’s beside you again, his hand reaching out for you. „soap, don‘t go,“ you plead, your hands shaking when you grasp him, your knuckles white and your grip bruising. you choke out a, „don‘t leave me.“ and he promises he won‘t.

„i‘m here,“ he assures you, carefully and gently removing your hands from his arms and placing them around his waist so he can properly hug you. „i won‘t leave; ever.“

you sink into the hug, your hands crunching up his shirt with your grip. you were save, no? you were safe…

you weren’t…there. you were here; with soap. he was holding you, keeping you sane. you didn’t need to worry about anything.

he’d keep you safe.

simon “ghost” riley

the moment simon realizes you’re having another ptsd episode he’s beside you, his hand hovering over your cheek.

“stay w’me, venom,” he murmurs, his gaze searching for yours. “c’mon… stay w’me.”

when you make no sign to move he slowly exogenous his hand so it fully cups your cheek and he pulls you close.

your hands slightly tremble and you look at him with blown eyes. your breath is staggered and you feel this familiar yet unwanted rustling in your ears. you want it to stop.

“take deep breaths love,” simon instructs you as he cradles you hand in his to hold it against his chest. “j’st like i do.”

tears start to gather in your eyes while you try to focus on simon but your thoughts were screaming at you, dragging you down that hole you didn’t want to drown in.

“y’doin’ amazing,” he whispers in a gentle voice, his other hand pulling your heard against his chest with careful hands. “j’st like that. perfect.”

you let out a couple of chocked hiccups as you try to relax against simon’s body, doing all the tasks therapy taught you.

“‘m sorry,” you swallow in a voice rough from crying.

“no, none of that,” simon frowns. “y’doin’ exactly what y’were taught.” his one hand tightens over your that’s laying on his chest, his other he buries in your hair. with a careful movement he places his chin on top of your head.

“d’nt ever apologize f’havin’ problems,” he tells you in a quiet voice, his hold on you tightening.

he’d never let you go.

[messrmoonyy]

im new to requesting stuff so srry if it's bad 😭😭 idk you have done this one before but can you please do a tess servopoulos fluff drabble / blurb where she comes back from patrol really tired and stressed. then you both spending the entire night cuddling and you giving her words of affirmations or whatever it's called 🧍🏽‍♀️

i hope this is good enough , have a good day / night <33

Tess Servopoulos x reader

Wc- 619

Navigation | Tess masterlist

It was late when you finally heard Tess return home, softly closing the front door downstairs and the soft thud of her feet on the stairs. She wasn’t being remotely loud. But it seemed so many years of training yourself to jump at the smallest sound still hadn’t worked its way out of your system. Tess had been called out on one of the late night patrols, filling in for one of the usual night guys spot after he’d come down with the flu.  

You’d tried your hardest to stay awake and wait for her, but clearly your eyes had given up on you and you’d dozed off at some point. You stirred as she walked into the bedroom, sighing softly when she slipped into bed behind you. She slid her arm over your waist, pulling you back against her with a sigh of her own. 

“ Tessa “ you whispered almost dreamily, happy to have her back safe and sound 

“ hey baby “ she said softly “ did I wake you? “ she asked, her breath warm against your neck. 

“ it’s okay I’m glad you did “ you shifted in her embrace, turning around so that you could look at her in the dark “ how was patrol? “

“ nothing out of the ordinary. Wanna sleep for a week though. Remind me never to agree to this shift ever again “ she mumbled, leaning her forehead to yours for a moment. 

“ let’s stay in bed all day tomorrow…

Today? What time is it? “ it made her laugh slightly and oh how you loved to make her laugh. 

“ perfect idea. I don’t want to move. At all “ 

“ we can stay here all day “ You reached out to softly touch her face, fingers ghosting over her skin. You traced the lines, the scars, the soft wrinkles settling into the corners of her eyes “ you’re so beautiful “ you couldn’t help but whisper, voice almost dreamy. 

It felt such a privilege to lay there with her. To be the one granted the honour of watching her age in a world where not many got to. To be able to lay there with lines settling into your own skin, to age beside her. To be able to trace those lines, to run your fingers through the greys that speckled the hair of her temples. 

She was truly a sight to behold. 

“ I don’t feel it. I feel old “ she mumbled, eyes falling closed under your soft touches seemingly soothed by them  “ I ache “

“ I think you’re beautiful “ you reassured her “ I always have I always will “ you leant forward to kiss her, the slow lingering kind where you felt like you were floating, hand tangling into her hair to pull her impossibly closer “ I love you “ you whispered against her lips after a few moments “ so much “ 

Tess smiled warmly, a smile that had been so rare a few years ago. But was now so wonderfully common. It still made your chest bloom with warmth every time you saw it. To see genuine her joy. 

“ I love you too “ she kissed you once more, and placed a soft kiss to your forehead before urging you to turn around again “ it’s late, get some more sleep “ you were too tired to protest and rolled over, letting Tess’ arms pull you back against her again. She sighed softly as she settled in, nuzzling her face against your neck in a way she so often did. 

Your eyes grew heavy again and you smiled once more at the blissful joy of being able to lay there with her, in a bed big enough for you both. With blankets that were warm and in a house instead of a crappy little apartment. 

Safe. Warm. And together. 

[linonyang]

BF!SKZ WHEN YOU ARE IN STUDY MODE [hyung line]

read maknae line version here

pairings: hyung line x gender-neutral!reader (written separately per member)

genre: fluff, very light angst, college au

warning: mentions of food and insects

word count: 1.6k words (390-400 words per member)

tag list: @awooghan​​ @hwangsify​​ @xiaoderrrr​ @cosmic-railwayxo​​​

note: i impulsively wrote this since i am on the brink of getting insane bc of this one project i have... so don’t mind me /hj i’ll probably write the second part/maknae line next week when i am done with the mentioned project lol i hope you enjoy this short hc!

© linonyang - all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, modify, repost, or claim as yours.

☆ CHAN

since he’s a guy who loves to stay awake all night, it’s no problem for him to join your cramming and procrastinating in projects and exams!

if not, he might be the little devil on your shoulder to stay awake with him, instead of the other way around (which was the original plan) :p 

he’ll do everything to not make your eyes close in the study hall!!!

if you’re into coffee, he’ll bring you a cup of coffee of the biggest size from your favorite cafe nearby

or if you’re feeling like eating something sweet to spike up your sugar a little bit, he might buy all of your favorite candies and desserts (including your favorite cakes and pastries) in small portions

so you can have a little bit of everything :>

chan will instantly embrace you if you’re on the brink of breaking down

you can cry on his shoulder (literally) and have him as your pillow whenever you want to give yourself short breaks after long hours of studying

and he’ll never tell this to you: he really enjoys you staying beside him when you guys do your own things

he just finds it comforting‌…

he loves how you don’t feel bothered when there’s someone beside you (him) when you usually prefer to study alone on a normal day

it’s like he’s an exception, he really loves the idea of it :* he loves to joke that you’re so down bad for him! (let’s be real, he’s not lying </3)

so you don’t have to stress out all on your own, chan’s there with you to feel less pressured and worried about your incoming exams and deadlines!

when chan notices that trouble is slowly surfacing on your face, he’ll talk to you a bit to lower your anxiety

he really doesn’t want you to feel very stressed!!!! he hates seeing any negative expression on your face!!!

he’ll feel sad too when you feel sad :((( 

being the knight in shining armor, as usual, he’s willing to bring you home whenever you feel like doing so <3

(and you can’t stop him from doing that, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night without knowing that you arrived safely at your home or dormitory!)

chan will definitely send a message that you should not extend your studying at home because you did a lot already when you were with him!

☆ MINHO

minho will probably do everything to make you consider studying in his home

so you can not drown in instant food and fast food and have delicious meals cooked by him from time to time instead <33

also, his cats!!!!!!!

he’ll probably bring soonie, doongie, and dori near you so you can have some comfort whenever he’s not in the room with you, whenever he has to cook, take a shower, and all that jazz

and the three cats seem to make your day every time

it’s like minho communicated with them beforehand about how can you study healthily

when you’re sitting and reading the papers on the desk for too long, one cat will block your way and sit on the papers and books

then another will jump on your lap and ask for your love and affection (just begging you to pet them :D)

and one will constantly meow behind you, already on the bed, so you can take a good nap

when you do get to nap with all of minho’s cats on his bed, he always arrives at the wrong time, apparently

you’re asleep! but he cannot help but feel butterflies in his stomach because you look so cute napping with his beloved kitties :’>

as you instructed him before, he’ll wake you up once you reach your time limit

then he’ll join you to study once you’re back at his desk! :D

minho will definitely pet the cats beside you when you’re endlessly typing on your laptop

just so he can look after you because he does not want you to lose track of his so-called “healthy study session” for you

he’ll definitely scold you when he’ll hear your stomach growling in the middle of the night

because “how can you study with no source of energy?!?!”

he always reminds you to not overwork and don’t pass your limits

when you want to take a longer snooze (especially when it shows from your constant yawning and eye rubbing), he will not hesitate to bring all of your materials to the couch outside of his room

and drag you to his bed!!!!! so he can cuddle you all night and whisper all of his manifestations for your good results in school!!! he believes you will ace the exam, and you did so perfectly in all of your tasks!!!

☆ CHANGBIN

this guy…

oh when you ask him to accompany you to the library

he’ll drop all of his things and find you in an instant!

changbin will take your studies seriously as if he’s the one studying :p 

a strict but loving kinda person

he’ll not hesitate to scold you if he sees you sidetracking! lmao </3

but he wouldn’t do that when he knows you’re taking a break

when you feel a little disoriented or frustrated, changbin will give you energy with his powerful hugs!

“my hugs are proven to give you a better mood and more motivation to do whatever you want!!!”

“what if i don’t want to study anymore?”

“that is not included, alright?!”

(he didn’t lie about his hugs making you feel better and energetic again tho ;D there was an immediate effect right when he hugged you tightly for a solid minute)

he does serve as a distraction sometimes because he will lovingly stare at you when he’s at the peak of feeling bored

but when he is dealing with something, changbin will unintentionally bother you by making noises

in conclusion, he gives you a realistic feel of what being a student is

it makes you reassured‌… that how you’re facing academics is considerably normal?

even if changbin did promise you he’ll make sure you’re doing well, it seems like he’s the one who needs some guidance

when he’s aware that he’s not tracking you that frequently anymore, he stops what he’s doing and goes back to staring at you with heart eyes

“how are you doing?” and some good sliding of his water jug on the table to you because you can’t be dehydrated!

he steals your notebook of reminders and asks you if any of the pending deadlines and exams listed should be crossed out already

changbin will drag you out of the library when you have crossed enough pending tasks in your notebook! and take you on a scrumptious dinner date because he knows you deserve it for all the work you’ve done :>

will always pay for your dinner, even if you’re willing to pay

and will probably baby you when he discovers you finished all of your work

“aww let’s order another plate of that food we ordered! you need more good food after that exhausting study time!”

“but my stomach is full already, binnie </3”

☆ HYUNJIN

hyunjin is one worried baby when you tell him you’re in “super study mode”

you refuse to believe that your boyfriend is behaving like a mother

he will visit you and shower you with so much love

it’s like… he wants to lessen your worries :’<

he is willing to do all the chores so you can study without interruptions!!! 

he is also willing to feed you so you don’t have to get out of your seat!!!

hyunjin will always be on the go when you need something

his hugs and kisses? he will drag you to your bed and give you some!

his words of encouragement? he has prepared a long list in his head to give you more determination to finish your work!

will never get out of mom mode until you’re done

whenever you update him on your progress, he always congratulates you as if you won a life-changing award

“i am so proud of you!! :DDD” and clapping loudly

that’s because he knows how grueling studying is, and you should be congratulated for being hardworking

he loves to see you snort and laugh at his antics, even if they’re very exaggerated

and he moves and acts exaggeratingly just so you don’t have any direct source of the negative atmosphere

when he notices that you’re slowly sighing heavier than the previous one, he rushes to your side and looks after you literally

he will endlessly peck your face and stroke your hands with his thumbs

“you are doing so well! don’t say that you barely did anything today! you did so much already and i saw all of it!”

if hyunjin thinks you’ve done so much already, he’ll tell you to stop and invite you to take a walk outside with him

it’s a win-win situation because you get to relax by looking at the view of the park and hyunjin can capture beautiful photos and find inspiration for his paintings :DDD 

plus, that’s the perfect time for hyunjin to lighten up your mood

“i already washed your toilet btw, i saw a cockroach walk towards me while i was scrubbing! ugh, worst experience ever!”

“what did you do?”

“i hit it with a toilet scrubber too lightly, it was still alive so i ran out of the bathroom for a bit :’D heh”

“where the cockroach went to then?!?! i don’t want cockroaches in my home?!”

[natsbaby]

Merry Christmas

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: after being a couple for a little over 5 years, you believe its time to take the next step with your beloved

Warning: nothing!

A/N: Happy Holidays everyone! Hope you guys are having/had a great celebration either with family, friends or even by yourself <33 sorry is this story is a lil out of wack but i hope you guys still like this regardless!!! :DDD

It’s finally that time of the year where it is socially acceptable to blast Christmas songs and to wear your collection of ugly christmas sweaters leading up to your favorite holiday of the year. You’ve always loved Christmas growing up and this year, you plan to make it extra special by finally proposing to the love of your life.. well, that is if you could actually propose.

“I’m so sorry babe but Fury just assigned a really urgent mission and I might not make it back in time for the holidays”

Now typically, you’re used to this kind of situation with your girlfriend being a very reliable member of SHIELD so its not uncommon for Fury or even Hill to assign Nat on a last minute mission. Hell, you’re normally very chill with that and just let it be but with your plans coming up and the stress of preparing your surprise, you just lost your chill.

“Oh i’m gonna kill that man” you grumble as you cross your arms and narrow your eyes at your poor victim girlfriend.

“I know baby and you have every right to get mad, but I promise to wrap it up as soon as I can okay?” She cooes softly as she wraps her arm around your waist while using her free hand to gently untangle your arms so you could hug her back without throwing a punch. “Please forgive me with this, it’s Christmas after all”

“I know thats why I’m annoyed” your eyebrows furrow even further causing Nat to smile softly at how adorable you look. “Don’t give me that smile”

“I know, sweetheart I know” she chuckles softly as she gives you a soft peck on your forehead causing your eyebrows to relax and for her smile to widen. “I’ll make it up to you, and I’ll be leaving tomorrow anyway so-“

“Tomorrow?!” You exclaim causing you to take a step back from Nat’s arms, who tightens her grip on you while giving you a warning look. “Oh that’s unfair”

“I know detka but as I said, I’ll make it up to you when I get back. So please calm down, forgive me, and enjoy our last few hours together before I’ll be gone for a week.. please?” She gives you the puppy eyed look that just melts your heart causing you to sigh in defeat and nod in agreement.

“Please make it back safe alright? I still want to have a girlfriend who’ll come back home to me without a new bullet hole on her” you mumble as you allow yourself to melt into her arms while she gives you a tender kiss on the top of your head as she laughs softly at your teasing.

“Always, baby”

“I’m so lonely” you mumble as you sit in the middle of your living room with Liho keeping you company while you prepare your proposal for Nat. “I know I shouldn’t blame her for this but..”

The meow of response from Liho causes you to stop what you’re doing and glance over to the black cat as he looks at you.

“Yes I know even she didn’t wanna do this but-“ another meow of response causes you to roll your eyes and sigh in thought. “Yea.. she’ll be home soon anyway.. just 2 more days then she’ll be back”

The cat gets up from his very comfortable spot in front of the electronic fireplace and struts towards you, crawling onto your lap and purrs for attention. You chuckle softly as you put down the thing you were working on, and gently run your hand thru his fur. “You know for a cat, you make a lot of sense”

Liho stares at you for a moment before closing his eyes and melts onto your lap while you pet him causing you to laugh.

“Okay you lil shit, if you’re gonna stay here you might as well make yourself useful”

To: Y/N <3

From: Natty <3___<3

Hey babe, I’m almost home and can’t wait to see you. Please dont open my gift for you yet, i’d know <3

“Oh please i’m not that crass” You roll your eyes fondly at the text message before shoving your phone back into your pocket. You clasp your hands together as you look around your masterpiece that you spent almost a month on. “Okay.. you can do this”

You hear a meow from your favorite man as Liho jumps up onto the couch and watches you pick up the ring box from the counter. “You know what to do, now come on its show time”

Nat knows deep in her heart that you’re the one for her since the moment you caught a waiter for staring at her cleavage throughout your 3rd date together and had to make sure the black eye you gave him wouldn’t cause a complaint or anything. She knew that you were someone she could see a future with, which is why she was also devastated to not celebrate Christmas with you so when she ended the mission early and could possibly make it before the day ended, she made sure to fly the jet faster than normal.

As she approaches your shared apartment, she could already hear the faint christmas music playing inside. She couldn’t help but smile as her heart warms up knowing her entire world is just right there. She unlocks the front door with her own set of keys, and enters to see your living room decorated with balloons up on the ceiling and a huge “will you marry me?” banner hanging on the wall with you dressed in the dress you wore in your first date- a black off shouldered dress that ends right below your knees with gold accents throughout the bottom half of the dress that looks like little fireworks- right in front of it with the ring in your hands.

She slowly drops her bags with her eyes glued to you and slowly walks up to you as you nervously fidget with the ring in your hands.

“I know this isn’t really how I imagined this to go but..” you trail off, gulping from the nerves before chuckling softly, something Nat learned to be your nervous tick throughout your years together.

“Before we got together, you said that love is for children and that you aren’t worthy of love because of the ledger and stuff.. I told you then that it wasn’t true and that everyone deserves a second chance” you trail off as you feel your emotions starting to bubble up your throat causing your voice to break a little only for you to clear your throat and try to get thru the speech you prepared. “I never told you this but at that moment, I promised to myself and to whoever is out there listening that I’d do anything and everything to make sure that you’d never feel unworthy of what should be the most beautiful emotion out there ever again.. you deserved to be loved by someone may it be me or someone else- though preferably me”

Nat rolls her eyes slightly at the last comment before chuckling softly. She wipes her tears with the back of her hand as she continues to listen.

“I can’t promise a perfect marriage because who are we kidding, we’re literally the two most stubborn people in this galaxy” you start as you couldn’t help but tease, allowing Nat to laugh out at the truth behind that causing you to smile. “But I can promise you to always be here, waiting for you to come home everyday and to love you with my entire being and more because while I know I dont have the power to fight bad guys, I do have the power to love you the way you deserve so.. Natalia Romanova.. will you marry me?”

“Oh sweetheart” Nat starts as she gets down on her knees in front of you so she could cup your face, wiping the tears rolling down your cheeks with the pad of her thumbs. “Yes I’ll marry you”

“Really?” You can’t help but ask as your eyes light up. Nat couldn’t help but melt at the sweet innocence you have and grins as she nods.

“Of course, I wanted to propose to you when I got home” your eyes widen at the confession as you watch Nat take out the ring from her bag and you both laugh at the possibility of having the same proposal plans. You put the ring onto her finger as she does the same to you, allowing the other to just admire the rings on your fingers.

“Gosh I love you so much Nat, Merry Christmas” you say with so much emotion that she couldn’t help but swoon at the thought of marrying someone like you. You wrap your arms around her neck as she wraps her arms around your waist, resting your forehead against hers as she gently gives you a soft peck on the lips.

“Merry Christmas detka, everything I have and everything I am is all yours”

[afreakingdork]

Weak Spot - Chapter 33

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Intercrural Sex, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello (TMNT), Mating Cycles/In Heat

Synopsis:  A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

Huge shout-out this chapter to @shiftandshade because I literally stole the sleepy wake-up scene straight out of their head (it's so good, I did not do it justice) and also for freaking hitting me with good good turtle anatomy lessons! Also @8pmblackcoffee for encouraging more marathon! I hope this one is okay... it uh... got away from me as you'll see in one moment AND OF COURSE HOW COULD I FORGET (I totally did) @some-guy-named-dominyk for many many many moons ago helping me soften up what was originally a much more violent chapter. They really helped directed me to what ends up happening (minus again some... uh.. yeah)

Fem!Reader References/Warnings Below Cut

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS AN ACUTE NON-CONSENSUAL SCENE. THIS IS NOT A NORM FOR THIS FIC. PLEASE KEEP YOURSELF SAFE!

Last warning for the 🍋 under the cut. Minors DNI!

Fem!Reader References/Warnings: taking bra off sentence, some light technical genitalia wordings, self-pussy examination, lubing up the labia, clit mentions, and a boob grab

Donnie had been… odd, to say the least.

It hadn’t been anything exact, but he was… different.

You first noticed it when you were doing some dishes. He’d originally stayed behind on the couch, scrolling on his phone. This was your chore and you never minded much. Setting clean glasses aside to dry later, you suddenly felt a presence behind you. Moving slowly, you turned to find him simply leaning on a nearby counter. Hands sudsy, you’d asked him what he was up to. He didn’t look up from his phone as he regaled you in a series of studies he was comparing. That not being how you meant it, you pressed only for him to finally tear his eyes from his screen. It was there you’d seen the flash; the loss of comprehension.

He hadn’t realized he’d moved.

Brows furrowed, he looked around the kitchen as if that wasn’t part of his natural environment. His body then lurched and in a mild haze he mechanically worked his way back to the couch. He’d seemed put out enough that you let him be in a verbal sense. Exchanging words for a vigil, you kept a closer eye on him. It was in the next week you started to notice just how close he started to loom.

His affections were something you never took for granted and, even having moved in together, weren’t always overt. Days where touch was out of the question still existed, but it was clear quality time was one of his love languages. It often constituted simply sharing a room, but that didn’t make it any less. The oddity came with his proximity. Where you usually occupied your own sides of the couch, he’d started to encroach on the center. When you’d get up to grab something, he’d begun to move to follow. Even if it was something as simple as crossing the room, his body would animate to give yours chase. You hadn’t minded. It was honestly sort of cute at first, but it was his reaction that had your worries increasing.

He never noticed.

His hovering was something that happened without conscious thought. More often than not you’d been the one to point it out and, as soon as the glass broke, Donnie would succumb to a moment akin to terror. He prided himself on his mind and it was clear that each time it betrayed him, he’d short circuit. With it happening more and more frequently, you saw a frustration akin to the beginning of your relationship. He was distressed, but even more concerning.

He’d forget.

Each revelation came with its own erasure. No matter how many times he’d come to notice his loitering, there was an equal amount where the information simply fell out of his head. With each event getting closer together, you’d gotten up to noting it three times in a single hour. The momentary alarm he exhibited disappeared into a fog that was enclosing around him.

It was around then that he started staring.

Something you thought you were used to, the way he watched you was unsettling. Instead of an eye picking up details, what tracked you were enlarged pupils that sought nothing. Less scary and more ominous, his deadened watch made your skin crawl. The sight of you going doubly unseen by him was haunting. It’s not like you always expected to have his attention, but this purgatory of having it without cognizance was like being followed by a shadow not your own.

Getting ready for work that morning, you hadn’t had as much time to address it as you would have liked. The mixture of his strangeness was hitting critical levels, but the weekend was still a few days away. You had vacation and sick days, but you were hoping to use them for something else. Taking a momentary lapse in your routine, you moved over to the computer with him glued to your side. Using his medical codes, you brought up his monitors and found there wasn’t a single anomaly. You turned to ask him how he felt, but that lackluster gaze was pinned, unseeing, on your form.

Huffing, you reached out to cradle his face. In the touch, he blinked with a moment of clarity. “I’m worried about you, Don.”

With his sound of confusion, your chest constricted.

His ignorance was always so genuine.

“If I ask you to go get checked out by Nagami today, will you remember?”

His brow further furrowed and, without moving from your touch, his pupils moved to the screens. He took in the detail of the medical charts and returned to you with even more confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“Me neither…” You watched him with hopeless sadness and tried not to succumb to it. Releasing him, you felt him move as if searching while you turned back to the computer. In a few swipes you got up an empty window and typed him out a reminder message. “You have work today, right? You’ll see this when you-”

Turning found him gone once again and in his place were haunting onyx pools, seeing without sight.

“Shelly?”

Your tech gauntlet buzzed.

“There’s a note on Don’s computer.” You watched a little icon of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s head appear there. “It’s a big ask, but can you make sure he goes?”

The little icon turned as if reading the message before spinning  back around and a text bubble appeared beside him. ‘What’s going on?’

“I don’t know, but something’s up. It’s… different than when he got sick… It’s hard to explain.”

‘That’s… weird?’ You watched the medical windows shuffle as if cards in a digital deck. ‘Huh.’

“Please, Shelly.”

‘Oh, I’ll get him there. Not even a question! I could never refuse a request from you!’

“Is that programming?” Nerves had worn your insecurities. As the question hit the air, you despised the way it sounded.

‘No. It’s because I care.’

Forcing up a smile to make the response permeate, you responded.. “Thanks, Shelly. If you find anything, shoot me a text.”

‘Roger, roger!’

Leaving the computer with your six foot nine shadow, you got through the rest of your morning prep. Given only a few seconds of solitude, it was in slinging a bag over your shoulder that you had a moment of doubt. Pecking Donnie on the cheek and watching him only surface for a moment. You went for the door handle behind your back. It kept the knob out of his gaze as you cracked the entrance and slipped out. Closing it and holding the handle tight, you could feel him grasping it from the other side.

You had to order S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. to keep it shut in order to get away.

The rush of the morning commute set your imagination ablaze. It was in a stomach dropping realization that you connected just how much of your existence was tied to Donnie’s mind. He had full technological control of the apartment. He had any number of plans going at any moment that ensured both your safeties. As much as you always pushed him to let loose, you’d seen his actual strength. Without a measure, there was a slim chance of bodily threat, but that paled in comparison to your next thought.

You didn’t even know who he banked with.

If you were going to take charge for a while, you’d need to get a handle on the expenses. Wondering how much his rent was and if your savings could cover it in the interim, you walked straight into your office building having blanked the entire journey there. Suddenly in your cubicle and still struggling with the mental math, the blessed image of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. came to mind. There was always the chance he had some failsafe installed for this, but there was also that bypass they’d mentioned for your safety.

Hoping that extended to the monetary, your work day was spent in a haze. With your phone on your desk and heart nearly stopping every time it lit up, you were comforted only by the fact that there were no messages from S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. That had to mean at least something went right and your boyfriend had gotten to whatever approximation of doctor Nagami was. Clocking out exactly on time and with faint contingencies in place, you rushed for the elevator. Getting out in the first wave, you felt a little better with the knowledge that you’d have some kind of answer getting home.

Stepping up to the apartment building, you easily entered and headed to your floor. Door in view and relief in sight, you approached and adjusted your bag’s straps. The last vestiges of worry tingled in your fingertips as the knob turned easily. Opening slowly and peering your head in, Donnie was standing at his lit computer. Anxiety melting off of you, you entered casually and set your bag aside. “Hey, you busy?”

“I’m finishing up.”

You nodded in time, digging for your phone which wasn’t in your pocket. Frowning, you patted yourself down and didn’t find it. Grouching, you dropped to search your bag and found it nearly instantly with an annoyed frown. Coming back up, you saw past your device and actually took in details of your boyfriend.

There was something purple and blocky locked around his neck.

It almost looked like a neck brace from the shape of it, but from its texture you weren’t sure what its function was. 

“Did something happen at Nagami’s?”

“I didn’t go.”

“You-?” Tilting your head, you took a step forward. “Donnie.”

“There was no time.” You took in his posture and realized how tight it was. His hands weren’t resting on the table to type. Instead, his palms were actually shoved into the surface with his fingers nearly clawing beyond that. His legs were parted with his knees ever so slightly bent as if he were bearing a huge weight. His shoulders were then tensed high above his shell and pressed to the object around his throat.

“What’s going on?”

“I’ve left a note here.” With a twitch, he nodded his head towards the computer screen where there was what looked like a list. “I don’t know how long I have, but I believe I’ve placed every precaution possible. I considered sending you away, but this is your home. Luxury accommodations have been booked for you if you tire of dealing with me.”

“Tire of you…? What do you mean?” Taking another step, you watched his head turn.

In a slow tilt, his snout raised and he tested the air. Even from across the apartment you could clearly see where his gaze shifted. In a sluggish reflex, his pupils widened and he took on that unfocused look you knew all too well. He then attempted to roll his head, but was trapped by the brace. He was forced to rotate his whole body, but nothing in his expression said he cared. In a careful creep, he began to stalk towards you.

Sensing there was nothing to fear and since he’d been following you around like this for the past couple of weeks anyway, you approached. He crouched as he got closer, but nothing about his posture said he’d pounce. Instead, he seemed like he wanted to be down on your level. Only a step away from meeting, he suddenly darted to the right. You watched him openly as he weaved in his hunch, rounding you like a cautious animal.

“Alright…” He disappeared behind your back only to continue his trek around. You tracked him with a turn of your head. “This is new…?” You offered him a hand and he bobbed around it curiously.

Returning to his start position to round you anew, you glimpsed the computer behind him. There was a new pop-up that looked similar to one you’d seen before.  

The neural link was interrupted.

The accompanied text looked different though, but you were too far to make it out exactly.

“So you are sick?” With purpose this time, you reached out to graze his face in an attempt to gauge his temperature.

As soon as you neared, he darted away as if waiting for something more. When it didn’t come he went right back to circling.

You were at a loss. He had an almost playful quality to him, but he clearly wasn’t interested in normal interaction. “Um…?”

“Y/N!”

“Shelly?!” Blinking, your head shot up as you searched for the source. 

“Coming through the computer! I’ve got speaker access!”

You scanned for that little icon you’d seen this morning. It had been small and nothing looked out of place in the monitors. Trying to take a step, you were stopped when Donnie jumped around you in two large bounds. He blocked your path with a snake-like bob before continuing his rounds. “What is up with you?” You scolded your partner before looking up at the computer. “You got access? How bad is it?”

“We uh....”

“What’s going on?”

“Also… kinda… sort of…”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.!”

“It’s hard to explain! I’m trying!”

You took a deep breath through your nose and blew it out your mouth. “Alright, I am trying really hard not to freak out. Try listing important stuff first?”

“Are you okay? Oh man, we cannot deal with anything else…!”

“I’m fine! I’m worried! Explain!”

“Y-yeah!! Um… Let’s see!” You watched as a dozen screens appeared on the monitors. They then shuffled through until an image of an actual soft shell turtle appeared. “You’re probably most worried… about… Don! He is… fine, by all accounts…” In time a bunch of his medical windows appeared to one side, neatly organized and glowing green with health.

“Like this morning…” You gave a faint nod.

Around you, Donnie was starting to gyrate at the shoulders adding flourish to his movements.

“This morning…” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. quieted before coming back with a volume that clipped in the speakers. “Oh, that’s perfect!!” Again the many windows began to filter except this time they were so fast you couldn’t follow them.

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.! Not trying to rush you, but should I be worried about… this!?” You gestured to Donnie moving in a more erratic fashion by the second.

“I don’t know! I need to clip the video, bare with me while I just…”

Donnie brushed your leg and you nearly jumped.

It caused a slow where blackened orbs attempted to absorb your very being.

“Woah… You look like a dilation procedure gone very wrong…” You balked. 

“Here! Who better to explain then… him!” 

As if on S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. ushered a grand reveal, a huge video of Donnie took up all the screens.

Glancing between it and the actual one that had started back up his circling, you could guess it was from today as he was wearing the same thing.

“Okay…” On-screen Donnie sighed heavily before wiping a hand over his face. “Mark log start date May 17th time 10:12am. I’ve been experiencing …symptoms, unbeknownst to me. I’ve enlisted S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., on call-”

“Heyo!”

Donnie gave a faint sneer. “-to discuss the irregularities and go over potential threats to Y/N.”

“Basically!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. disembodied voice began before it halted. “I take over now, right?”

“Yes.”

“Basically!” The bot repeated with authority and then gave a little titter before resuming his serious nature. “Going over the footage has seen an increasing dissociative effect. It dates back a little over a month and starts small where you can see Don staring at Y/N for periods and then shaking free of it…”

“Which I have no recollection of doing.”

“Exactly, clips attached mark event 127 numbered sequentially. As we move forward through the snippets, we find that the events increase in both duration and severity.”

“This includes the other referenced symptom of needing to be in Y/N’s immediate space.”

“From what I can tell, Y/N picked up on it about two weeks ago and then alerted us today of what was happening.”

Donnie pinched the space between his eyes. “I have… a hypothesis, but it would be… outlandish.”

“You do?!”

“Of course.” Donnie narrowed his gaze right into the camera.

“So…?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. drew out the syllable and then waited.

Donnie’s lids dropped further.

“Well!?”

“At the time of this recording I am approximately 34 years of age and if what I am considering is to be true, then it would be the first recorded instance in my lifetime.” Donnie reached for the screen and his fingers disappeared as he moved something around on the monitor. “The only comparison that we have is puberty which was not experienced under what could be called ‘normal’ circumstances. Otherwise, such time can be barred as, from what I can recall, it was akin to that of an average humans.”

“You’re… Is that possible?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s voice came out with an eerie even keel.

“Mutant biology is considerably novel.”

“Why now?”

“I have…” Donnie’s head tipped to one side and his gaze trended down. “…a viable partner.”

 “You’re suggesting Y/N triggered it?”

Donnie hesitated and his hand retreated back into view with shaky digits.

“Donatello?”

You watched fear take Donnie by the throat before he caught hold of the emotion. He then crushed it in a vice grip and began to move. “We have very little time to prepare. While it would be against scientific study to jump to conclusions, I am compelled to posit that I am in the final stages. Charting the increased symptoms-“ Both his hands came up to disappear in a flurry of movements. “-I believe we can hypothesize that it will come to a head today. What that means in terms of the prognosis, we aren’t sure, but we can make educated guesses.” With a downward sweep a holographic keyboard was brought down to what you could see of the table and Donnie began to type with worry eating away at his features.

There was a faint sound of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. stuttering as he presumably tried to keep up.

“Curtail and contain. That is how we shall proceed.” With a rash swipe, Donnie threw the digital keyboard projection away as if clearing his desk. “Location!”

“Arriving in t-minus…” There was a countdown beeping noise before you heard S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s voice shift as if he were just off camera.

Donnie turned to where he had come in presumably through the kitchen window. “I’m moving the Dar-”

There was a fizzle of static.

The audio feed was cut, but not the visual.

Donnie’s mouth moved.

You weren’t a lip reader, but the way his tongue rolled was clear.

You knew what it meant.

“-protocol to threat level red.”

“Are you sure, we don’t-!?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flew into frame behind Donnie.

“Know what’s possible!” Donnie banged his desk and let the rage linger.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flew a little lower and was quiet.

Donnie recomposed himself in a breath. “I’ve booked at least two weeks at The Lowell and placed a temporary extension on the room if necessary. I’ve contacted several chefs to see who is available on short notice. I’ll need to…” He turned the other way, looking toward the bedroom. “This will act as the eponymous ‘go-bag.’”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. gave a single nod.

“Assignments.” Donnie rotated his body to address the bot. “You will take the P.O.P. suit out of beta and get it fully operational before Y/N gets home. You’ll be acting liaison if I’m indisposed; explain what’s happening. I need to synthesize a concentrated dose for injection.”

“P.O.P-! Inje-!“ S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. waffled, clearly caught between two thoughts. He had to visibly shake himself free of both. “The shot!”

Donnie addressed him with a cold veneer that barely shielded his waning patience.

“Altering the dosage could have major side effects.” With a bob, you could tell S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was gesturing to the screen.

Donnie turned his attention there and his pupils darted as he read.

“Plus, you’re still operating at 100% effectiveness. Are you sure-?”

“Enough.” Donnie’s eyes closed and even through the feed you could sense the irritation radiating off of him. “Again, it’s conjecture, but we can make an educated guess. I need to ensure there is no failure. Do you understand?”

It was a question, but it clearly wasn’t.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. gave a curt nod, but he obviously didn’t agree. With an annoyed swivel, he switched gears. “The suit’s current mechanics have it functioning from a collar.”

It was barely there, but Donnie winced.

“To meet your time restraints, we’ll have to move forward with that design.”

“Do it.”

“Don… Are you going to be-?”

“Dismissed.” Donnie turned.

The footage froze on the image of Donnie departing the table.

Staring at it for several beats, you gave three distinct blinks.

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.!”

“Y-yes?!”

“That didn’t explain anything!!”

“It…!” Several windows cycled and then all closed out for an empty purple backdrop. “I’m sorry!”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. please!” Donnie’s encircling had become a tighter ring and you nervously shuffled where you were being wrangled.

“You arrived-“ There was a whoosh of wood against the frame before the bot darted in through the kitchen window. “-exactly 7 minutes ahead of your projected arrival time!”

“So it’s my fault!?” You tried to take a step, but Donnie nipped you back in place. “Hey!”

“No, it’s just… oh geez he’s… Uh!”

“Breathe and count to ten or something!”

“But I don’t breathe!”

“NOW!”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hovered a little lower before closing his digital lids. He then slowly counted out and you heard the mimic of a breathing exercise.

You waited with what felt like the last bits of your sanity.

“Donnie’s in heat because his turtle brain thinks you’re his mate!” The sentence popped out of S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. as he suddenly animated. He then pretended to blow out a sigh of relief. “Look at that! Y/N! It worked!”

“Donnie’s what?!”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flew over to you while a video with two softshells underwater came up across all the monitors. In a spin, the pair swam around each other before shooting up to the surface and coming back down. You watched without comprehending until you looked down at your boyfriend.

“He’s… trying… to do that?”

The bot shrugged with his rotors.

“He’s not doing a great job.”

“He’s really not.”

“Okay.” You reached up and pressed your finger tips together creating a little cove where you stuck your nose. “Shelly.”

“Back to nickname! Hell yeah!”

“No yeah.”

“Oh.”

Bringing your hands away from your face, you pointed both indexes with the pair pressed flush. “You have to realize that this video.” You renewed the point to the turtle’s on-screen. “Explained more about what is happening-“ You could hear the volume of your voice rising. “-than anything the other did!!!”

 S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. wobbled weakly as if he could barely stay afloat. “I’m… yeah… that is fair, huh?”

Your cheeks hurt from the force of your manic smile.

“We’ve known each other for a lifetime! My lifetime! We say a lot without having to say it, say it!”

“Plus it looked like he was literally bringing references up on the screen!”

“Tha-that too!”

“Why not add those into the video?” 

“I wasn’t ever one for presentations…”

“You have five seconds to collect yourself and then you are going to expand on that insane thing you just said.”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. shot straight up and had to overcorrect to keep from hitting the ceiling. He then spiraled down and came right up to the radius Donnie had set. “It’s like I said! We have no idea what’s going to happen or what he’s capable of because this has never happened before. This is all a hypothesis and there were parts I didn’t agree with, but now seeing him…”

“Is this like a mating dance?”

“Not… really? Not in that sense. It’s more of a display to see if you’ll be receptive.”

“Huh…”

“Basically, the thing around his neck will immobilize him if he tries anything and, as you heard, there’s a hotel room with your own personal chef waiting for however long this lasts.”

Your head shot up from where you’d gotten lost watching Donnie. “What about him?”

“We’ve planned to fall back on the usual containment reserved for the mutagenic flu.”

“He’s not like that though.” You didn’t need to scrutiny to see his gaze was totally different from stage two of his illness. “The neural link!”

“Yeah, that’s interesting data.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. spun around toward the computer and seemed to pluck the pop-up out of nowhere. He then projected a hologram of it over to you.

You scanned it and read something about how there was a shift in brain waves, but it didn’t seem to be fully disabled as it was previously. “I don’t understand…?”

The screen swapped with one of a live brain scan. In it there were fluctuating colors. “Basically he’s lost his higher capacity. You could say he’s operating on basal instincts.”

“He’s feral, but not fever feral.”

“Sure…? You’re the only one who’s lived to see that up close.”

“And he thinks I’m his…” Your cheeks heated up at the mere thought.

You had shelved that bit before. 

Now it had returned with vengeance for your psyche. 

“Softshells don’t have traditional ‘mates.’ They’ll take as many partners as they can during the height of their mating season.”

“Then that doesn’t make sense…”

“It’s why I was against the thought, but you are also basically the only unique variable. Versus all prior documented years, the options are like you or any changes you caused.”

Donnie slowed in front of you and watched with that nearly all black gaze.

You stared into the abyss.

He rose up and you were caught as he dragged your gaze with his.

“Uh…” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hummed nervously.

Your boyfriend leaned in with a curious tilt of his head.

You could feel each time you blinked as it momentarily marred your vision.

It was in such a fall of the lid that he pounced.

You squeaked and your arms made it about halfway up to shield yourself when there was a sudden whoosh of air. Something soft hit you and then there was a bouncing ball noise as it disappeared. Shoving down your appendage shield, you pried your eyes open to find an inflated ball instead of your partner. Purple fabric ballooned around him and caught his arms and legs in nubbins which told you he was strung out inside. Having landed slightly askew, you heard him give a wounded whine and his gaze looked to you with utter betrayal.

“It’s working!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. cheered and there was a faint noise of computations.

Ignoring the bot, you were slow to approach Donnie.

From his cocoon, he didn’t even struggle. He simply turned his pained look on you.

It was there you saw the desperation and confusion.

He didn’t understand what was happening.

“Hey, Shelly.”

“Hm?” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. buzzed over analyzing Donnie with a red light scan.

Donnie whimpered as it went over his face.

“Did I say ‘yes’ to his display?”

“Hard to say.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had his head down as if he was taking notes. “There’s different ways it goes in nature. You could have either done the ‘dance’ too or just been passive. Males give up relatively easily since the females are way bigger than them.”

“I was passive…”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hummed, clearly distracted.

Donnie’s gaze recovered and refocused on you. He then gave another high pitched whine as if calling out for help.

“Feel free to go about your normal ‘just got home’ routine. I’m going to monitor him a bit and if it all goes well I’ll leave you to it.”

You frowned.

“Unless you’ll feel better if I stayed. I can clear the ole schedule for you!” He motioned like he was pulling out his calendar even though his gaze was trained on Donnie. 

Donnie’s eyes took on a watery quality. 

“I’m so glad it worked.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. murmured to himself, buzzing to the other side of Donnie.

Those black eyes bore into you.

“Let him out.”

“Get take out.” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. seemed to repeat back, lost in some process. “You can, mhm.” 

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. release him.”

“Relea-what!?” In a perfect pivot, the droid turned towards you. “No way!”

“Look at him!” You threw your arms out.

“Yeah!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. did a quick glance. “He looks like he’s a wild animal! The eye thing is an optical illusion! They look all big and shiny which you’re genetically disposed to think is cute!”

“That’s not-!” You swallowed your words.

Was that how you felt?

“He’s in pain!” You tried again.

“He’s in heat!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. nearly screamed. “He’s fine!” 

“S.H.E.L.-”

“No!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. looked like he might have actually put his foot down if he had one. “I’m sorry, but there’s no way. We don’t know what he’s capable of. We barely even know what’s happening. I can show you all the medical data over and over; he’s healthy and not in any actual pain. This completely falls in line with your safety protocol. I’ve made my judgment and you’re going to have to find a way to be okay with that.”

You felt like a toddler.

You wanted to screech.

You wanted to protest.

You wanted to throw an all out tantrum right there on the floor.

It was juvenile.

Then you glimpsed Donnie.  

His gaze hadn’t left you once.  

He was waiting. 

He knew who would help him.

Who was there for him. 

You wanted to hold him. You wanted to soothe him and tell him he would be alright. You knew he’d let you. Even without his facilities, you had that trust. You could see his pupils. He was there, only stunted. He needed you. He wanted you. You were supposed to take care of him. He’d allowed it of you. He’d given it to you.

He didn’t know better.

No one did.

Struck by that thought, you rose up and felt a cool façade take over.

It was the calm before the storm.

You were standing in the eye and prepared to walk out into the fierce winds.

Whoever put their faith in mother nature?

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.”

“The answer isn’t going to change.”

“Bypass Protocol Darling: I want you to release him.”

You heard the metaphorical drop.

If S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had been holding something, it would have crashed to the floor.

In an instant, he was in your face.

“RETRACT YOUR STATEMENT NOW!”

You winced at his megaphone volume.

Donnie began to give his angry warning clicks.

“NOW! RIGHT THIS SECOND! WHILE THERE’S STILL TIME! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING!”

You squeezed a fist so tight your nails cut palm. “Do you need the code too? 143.”

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. wilted as if you’d ripped his digital heart right out of his casing.

Guilt threatened to swallow you up.

You bit your tongue to keep from giving in.

There was an audible unlatching and both of you stiffened.

In a loud bang, the collar fell from Donnie and he leaped away, scared of the sound. Landing on all fours, he further bristled before he realized he was free. He took several wary steps, before zoning his attention on you.

It looked like gratitude.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. turned back to you, coming in so close you could feel the heat wafting off of him. “Y/N, I beg you. Reconsider.”

“I won’t.”

“Then, I’ll-!”

“You’re going to need to trust me on this.”

“Trust!? You’re swayed by emotion! There’s no way I’m going to-”

“Then leave.”

If you’d already maimed him, that dealt the killing blow.

Digital tears sprouted up in the corners of his eyes before the lines of brows came down with determination. “Y/N…”

He wasn’t going to give up.

You weren’t either. “Bypass-”

“Don’t!”

Donnie needed you. “-Protocol-“

“Please, we can discuss-!”

“-Darling.”

“-there are other options-!”

“I want a complete system override. You will not have access and you will leave.”

“You’re out of your mind…!” S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. backed up, fearful. “There must be pheromones present. I need to run a scan and-” His eyes disappeared into a line of code and then altogether. Going rigidly straight, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hovered a little higher and then made a mechanical rotation. Without another word, he flew right over to the window where it opened in time for his passing.

Taking a few weak steps after him, you saw his form disappear into the city.

Regret hit you like a tidal wave.

Its tendrils snaked through your mouth and nostrils, cutting off your oxygen supply.

It crushed your lungs and you gave a dry heave.

Why had you done that?

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had access to the entirety of human knowledge.

Hell, he might even have access to all of yokai knowledge too.

You didn’t know.

You couldn’t know.

He was right. 

There was no way to comprehend the depths.

He was the impartial observer.

He was the only one who Donnie considered a true advisor.

You outright rejected that.

You’d spat directly in his face using a directive whose name you hadn’t even known an hour ago.

You’d sent him away.

Him.

Hurt him.

All for what?

Because you had been called Donnie’s mate?

Something his species didn’t even recognize.

Because you were so desperate to have a tie to him that was more than what you already had.

That he needed you more than you needed him.

Something biological.

Unavoidable.

Weren’t you over that?

The crashing depths of your stupidity chorused.

Rational thought drowned.

Leo’s voice hit a solo about your ignorance.

All because despite everything you were still afraid Donnie would leave.

You heard a concerned whimper.

Turning, with tears flicking away at the sudden twist, you saw Donnie.

He was squatting on the floor with the tatters of his own clothes around him. Between his teeth was his own pant leg where he’d apparently been yanking as it was clearly caught on his foot.

The sight of him didn’t make all your injustices suddenly worth it, but it certainly helped.

Walking over to him in a careful way, he tilted his head as you got close. “Need some help?”

Releasing the piece of clothing, his gaze darted. Him seemed to be registering something about you that you couldn’t judge. 

Kneeling down, you were slow to get ahold of his pants, just in case. Once it was clear he wasn’t going to act and kept on watching, you lifted his trapped leg up and got the last of his clothes off.

“How’s that?” You gave a lazy smile, knowing full well he couldn’t reply.

He checked himself over before entering right into your space. You couldn’t help but smile as he butted his head against yours.

“Where’d your bandana go, hm?” You searched the pile for the scrap of purple with one hand while scratching the soft skin between his jaw and neck with the other.

He made a contented noise before pushing further into your person.

Letting him explore you as he seemed to search for something, you caught hold of his wraps. They were torn to pieces as he presumably ripped them off with his teeth. “Ah Don, you aren’t going to like this later…”

The rooting stopped around your collar as he found he couldn’t weasel his way in there. He made a single sharp click before grabbing it with his teeth.

“Ah! Wait-!”

With a sharp yank, he popped the stitches and caused a several inch long tear.

“Donnie!”

Running his nose along your neck, you were forced to tip for him. He leaned further into your space to the point where you had to throw your hands out behind you to keep yourself upright. Trailing down, he found his desired source: one of your long healed bite marks.

He seemed to marvel at it from only centimeters away and your view was clogged with his carapace. Trying not to focus on it, a bit of movement flicked beyond it. Raising up and gently pushing him back where he retreated easily as long as he could stare at his own handiwork, you realized it was the fast wag of his tail. “It can do that?” You whispered to the air.

As if he heard you, he pulled away to look into your eyes.

“Hey.”

In a dip, he headbutted the underside of your chin with far more urgency than before.

“Okay!” You laughed, trying to get a hold of his shoulders. “Is there something you want me to do?”

Having not surfaced, you could feel hot puffs of air as he scented his way down your body. His press insistent, he added force gradually until you relented to lay down. Though you could no longer see it, his tail must have been wagging wildly because his lower body rocked side to side. Craning your neck to watch him, he huffed across the plane of your stomach sending warm waves out as he went lower and lower. With your legs trapped under him there was little to do until his trek forced him to back up. It was around skimming the line of your pants when he finally released you.

Trying to pull your legs up to the side, he caught a knee as it started to bend. He then shoved the pair apart and settled himself between. Titillated at the idea of what his rut entailed, you squeaked as he shoved his snout right into the apex of your sex.

“Fast!” You gasped, the faint trickles of how dumb the word sounded lapping at your ears.

Warmth slowly permeated the layers of fabric there as he drank in the scent greedily. The indiscriminate worming between your thighs caused your hips to push down against him in an involuntary reaction cultivated from the many times he’d eaten you out. He froze at the action and you wondered if that had been the wrong move. Worry lasted only a second as in the next you were airborne and being carried straight to the bed. In an angry shouldering, he shoved the semi-sheer canopy draping away to get inside. He then dropped you unceremoniously onto the bed before climbing in himself.

Catching sight of the way the drapes fell behind him had a menacing quality. Mentally sweeping the thought away, you found there was a similar struggle happening physically. With hefty mitts dragging over your shoulders, it took you a moment to realize Donnie was fighting your clothes and not with you. Ready to urge him back so you could help the process, he instead got a mouthful of the fabric around your stomach. Knowing it was too late, he tugged and the first distinct difference in his heat hit you. Having never given too much thought to how much care he usually exerted, the Donnie that ripped your clothes off on occasion did far more than you ever gave him credit for. He understood material construction and went for weak points that would make them painlessly come away.

This Donnie knew none of those things.

His pull was fruitless at first, only succeeding in yanking your whole body up off the bed to dangle from the harness that was now your shirt. You waffled there, trying to get traction against smooth sheets. When he tossed his head like a dog with a toy, he whipped side to side with you helplessly caught in the middle. The momentum chaffed and pinched until you wrangled one of your arms up with the intention to pry him free. Only then did he seem to gain some kind of awareness and growled. Not deterred, you neared him when he put his foot down in the form of a hand pushing down on your stomach. The sudden force caused oxygen to leave you. Open palm punched in the gut, you bounced as you hit the bed and the force caused the shirt to rip. It wasn’t without its collateral as you could feel the rug burn leaving lined rashes in its wake.

With a fling of his head the shirt was gone and Donnie’s gaze oozed darkness.

In a near comical motion, you shared eye contact before both dropping your gaze to your pants. 

“No!” You screeched, turning to flee.

He caught you by the hips and with a slip his fingers found your waistband. Knowing he couldn’t have done that on purpose, you almost thanked the new position as you shimmied your hips. You’d hoped it would help you wiggle out of the bottoms, but instead it caused Donnie to claw in an attempt to hold on. His nails burned as he hadn’t the sense to hold back and you cried out at the drag.Released at the sound, the push and pull of the struggle sent you rolling toward the headboard.

Blinking to catch your bearings, Donnie had no such ailment and was back on you before you could recover. The moment of freedom had given you free control of limbs and you tried to swat him away so you could at least get your fly down. The mechanism was lost on him as he groped for a good hand hold. Locating one in the pockets, you were again lifted off the mattress.

“Oh, come on!”

With the height leveraging your hips, your torso fell as Donnie yanked anew. The fabric bunched and bit right into the crease of your ass and you hissed out at the pinch. Having been unintentionally closer to the seam, the stitching popped, but not in the way he wanted. Struggling, he pulled from the sides until the shreds could no longer support your weight. You dropped again and stiffened in preparation. It increased your bounce height and jolted Donnie who tried to palm you down again as if you were the one acting unruly. This time he struck his weight down near your hip which caused you to involuntarily kick. It hit the top of his knee and he yelped as you felt exactly how it came in contact with his cap.

Retreating slightly like a wounded predator, Donnie circled. 

Looking over the carcass, he narrowed in on your underwear. Hasty and not about to be impaled by underwire, your hands flew behind your back to undo your bra. Getting it free, he only showed his appreciation by knocking you over. Instantly trying to right yourself, you got enough height to watch as he slid a testing finger through the thin fabric of your underwear. Having flashbacks of terrible sitcoms, your hands flew out and just barely missed the moment he gave a swift tug. Wedgied and humiliated, this bit of cotton was never meant to support weight. It snapped near instantly but not without leaving an bitter scorch in its wake.

Hips falling for the third time, you used the bounce to sit up. Donnie met you there and flipped you right over. Squirming as he applied far too much pressure with the heels of his palms along your sides, he got ahold of your hips. They rose to his liking and you were forced to get your arms under you if you were to have any modicum of control. Wriggling in an attempt to adjust, you felt the tip of his cock center to your entrance. Freezing and flexing your muscles involuntarily to cut him off, a single booming thought echoed in your mind.

You weren’t ready.

The only time he’d stoked the embers had been during his scenting and since then had been indignity on top of annoying pain.

“W-wait, you can’t-!” Trying to crawl on your hands, your fingers slid against the sheets helplessly as he held you firm. “Donnie!!”

Once again falling on deaf tympanum, he simply squeezed his response.

It came in a crushing force to your hips that nearly diverted all thought. It wasn’t an exact pain and instead a whine as the bones under his grip were subjected to an immense amount of pressure. A high pitched worry came off your lips and he relented as his piping hot tip pressed into you. Suddenly very aware of the original issue, you resisted moving for fear he’d crush your Ilium. In a fumbling swipe of his cock, you felt a thorough slick spread.

Confused, you had to see what caused it. Still cautious of retreat, you did the only action you could think of and dropped your head down. Looking through the undercarriage of your body, there wasn’t much to see at first. Snippets of his legs through yours was about it until he cock dropped into view. Having missed your entrance again, you realized why as he wasn’t using his hands to guide. They were instead preoccupied holding you still and he was trying to manage his erection on its firmness alone. Momentarily down, his cock pearled a seemingly constant stream of pre-cum. Struck by the sheer leaky volume, you gawked even after his member disappeared to try you again. Feeling the tip of glans hook your entrance, his third attempt was successful and he sank straight down to the hilt. 

Punched in the stomach for the second time tonight, you wheezed as it was all too fast. The pinch, the burn, and the very heat of him cauterized whatever wounds he left in his wake. Struggling to push him off for even a little relief, he instead came down like a wall around you. Pressing you flat to the bed, your face slammed into the mattress due to momentum. Turning to gasp and greedily suck down oxygen, Donnie wasn’t withholding his weight and the whole of his body crushed you. Limbs flailing out of the vice, you felt his head come near. Thinking he was checking on you and you could translate something, you turned in time as teeth sank into your shoulder.

All the other times he’d bitten you were coy in comparison.

Teeth striking sinew, the sound that came out of you burned your throat. Tears immediately started flowing in time as his jaw locked in place. Utterly trapped and wilting under an inferno, his hips moved. In yet another terrible disclosure, you found that even the times he’d supposedly lost control were metered. What was happening now was a skewering whose only saving grace was his force made your innards numb from the onslaught. Gone was the partner that prioritized your pleasure and what was left was a selfishness to reproduce with not a single care for the vessel.

Sobbing, your reaction was relegated to your face alone as everything else was swallowed up by him. Salt tinted your tongue and his head knocked against yours only because the force of his hips rocked the whole of you. Thought burned from your mind and your coffin was nailed shut. Alive and trapped, you buried your face into the sheets and begged for a quick release.

Your luck had always been dodgy, but it arrived just as he did. 

He came without pretext.

There had been no build-up of the knot and instead he simply stopped thrusting. With only a split second reprieve, a sudden force shoved all your innards further than he was buried. Choking as it ushered bile into your throat, you were drowned by the velocity of his seed. Keenly feeling its exertion, you found strength to dig your nails into the sheets and howl. Spurts continued in near endless shockwaves and the volume was becoming increasingly worrisome. Panicked thoughts said there had to be an end, but his cock just kept pumping you full. Feeling the density in your lower abdomen and only dizzyingly wondering if bulging was possible, the hose stopped with just about as much warning as it started.

Sniveling and feeling worse for it, he unlatched from where your shoulder had gone worryingly numb. The shift in teeth further disturbed the wound and you watched blood stain the sheets. Wrung out, you heard a confused trill as Donnie nosed you. You spurned him with a turn of your head and he made a soft wounded sound. Bitter and wanting him to stew in it, you felt tears continue to streak your cheeks. Wrangling a hand in to scrub at your raw skin, you felt his weight shift on your back. It took a little effort and, much like a large dog thinks they’re small, he had to press further down on you before he got himself up. The drop in weight meant solace didn’t come and you were left splattered on the mattress.

It took several drags of your elbows before you got them close enough to your body to press. The one under your injured left shoulder gave immediately and you ended up in a half rise. Shaking and trying to get more height, your torso moved the chain of your body which eventually tipped your hips. It was there through the endless string of leaking cum, that you felt he was still rock hard.

Eyes widening in horror, you let your bad arm give and used the drop to overlook your other shoulder. Donnie was a curved seal above you, with his arms prominent muscular sticks. His hips were glued to your ass where, even though you couldn’t see, you could very much feel how you were both still very much connected. Dully looking him over, he watched you with a near wary stare. Brows and mouth scrunching in confusion, you weren’t sure what he was waiting for. 

Frowning, you forced your lips in line. “What?”

A chirpy sort of noise came from him.

“You sound like a bird.” You grouched, turning away.

Running a hand overtop your head, you winced to examine your shoulder. It looked like something out of a zombie movie and you nearly gagged. Shuffling again to get your body up, you heard another bewildered trill from your partner.

“I don’t know, Don.” Your voice dripped with malice. “Maybe-” Anger planted your elbows. “-it-” With a shove you got upright. “-was-” In a sway, you had to hold your weight on your good side to stay that way. “-you! Did you ever think of that?!”

The next sound he made was almost like a protest. 

“Stupid.” You grunted.

As much as you willed it to be for him, it was actually for you.

This should have happened sooner.

You grimaced.

It wasn’t the punishment itself, but the karmic justice.

You’d been playing with fire for far too long.

He’d tried to warn you. 

You ignored it. 

You tempted fate every chance you got.

Had you always been this way?

Had you just been the wrong version of lucky?

Had this man really appeared in your life only to alter the very course of your existence?

How very woe is me. 

Weak, but wanting to get away from the thoughts and situation, you garnered a little forward movement. Retribution still had claws in you because the stodgy action rocked you back.

Into him.

Onto him.

A rumbling thunder wafted off of him until he cut it off with a testing buck of his hips.

That was it.

You’d accidentally signaled green a second time.

What came next broke into fragments.

The renewal of your shoulder mark.

The unrelenting thrust of his cock.

The abysmal lack of care.

There was one change. 

You could breathe.

That last one didn’t occur until the last moment. Unable to think of much else with him attempting to fuck you out of existence, you only realized you weren’t squished flat until you were. His drop came with the nozzle turn on his fire hose of cum. Whining, he trapped you under him to take another insane load. With the same momentum, the new batch forced the old one out. Drenching your legs, you tried to shudder, but the press of his plastron branded your spine.

He was slower to rise. Still, you were given that same space and he sounded off far more confusing bird noises. This time your energy was truly depleted and your response came via lying in a soiled pool. Wondering if maybe he’d leave you be with passivity, you vaguely remembered S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s explanation. Groaning at the thought and how much you missed the droid, you tried to move, but found you couldn’t. Fresh tears leaked and you agonized to even rotate your head.

It was there, Donnie snout appeared. His movement signaled his erection had yet to go down and you screwed your eyes shut at the thought. You felt a dart of wet heat against your salt chilled skin and it pulled the string on the curtain of your lids. In your face, was his enlarged stare and his tongue retreating into his mouth.

“Did you lick my tears?” You rasped.

His head tilted and nosed you with the most care yet. 

It wasn’t a single prod and instead several little bops as if he was trying to get a better look at you.

You shook your head to turn away.

Worry sounded and you felt a hand at your back. It wasn’t dead weight, but a gentle pressure as he checked something. You couldn’t make sense of it until his fingers curled under your ribs. His other hand joined the first and you were being hoisted up. A flood rushed between your legs at the angle and in it, he shifted within you. Stomach bottoming out and knowing what that’d cause, you felt a vibration in his chest as his hips twitched. Arms lost, you made fists as your only means to hold onto your sanity.

Nails biting into your palm, you felt his hot breath singe the bite. Shoulders tensing as you awaited another tear of flesh, warmth enveloped it instead. Teetering on delirium, you turned the little you could to see his head similarly in position. He was fucking into you, but you felt detached from your lower body. Sending all your brain power towards solving the puzzle, you felt a swipe and saw a replay of his tongue darting back into his mouth.

He was cleaning your wound.

Not sure what to make of that, the bounce of your body meant the bottom of your breasts beat his hands from where they had a hold of your rib cage. It bred an odd sensation as he seemed to lick in time with his thrusts. The heat felt oddly good and you lolled like a rag doll back against him. There you could see the lining of the canopy bed. You and Donnie had hung those drapes what felt like eons ago, if it ever happened at all.

Your life felt condensed down to only this moment. 

He came a third time. 

You imagined he was made of cum.

He had cum for brains.

All those bulging muscles were cum storage tanks much like a camel.

It was the only explanation as to where he was keeping it all.

It leaked from where he tried to stuff it in you, without anywhere else to go. 

Your head rolled down as he adjusted you.

Now staring down the length of your body, you vaguely remembered the bulge. 

Your stomach looked rounded, but you also couldn’t remember what it looked like before.

Numbed, it was moistened lips that brushed your cheek in a nuzzle which brought you to. 

Eyes shooting wide, you were smacked with a thought.

Each time he came, he was a little clearer.

“Do-?” Your voice shattered.

You couldn’t swallow the residuals.

Coughing on the shards, you started to wonder if the salt you tasted had only been your tears.

Sweat hadn’t been a consideration with all your sensory neurons firing wildly.

As if sensing you were onto higher thought, your blood pressure dropped. Wondering if shock was a thing, you drooped where you were laying down as a black vignette tried to swallow you up like Donnie’s pupils. Tinnitus rang its bell and the reverb held onto it like a tuning fork. Movement happened or it was the rustle of your body unwinding. You were made of paper and being shredded for use in a nest. It would be bedding for some creature; a comfort you were not afforded.

Ice cold water hit your cheek and you screeched awake.

Animated, your body retaliated, but you refused its rage. Finding you could move freely, you pulled all of you as close as possible. Your hips screamed as you folded them to put your knees to your chest. Your shoulder growled as you wrapped your arms around said stems to keep them from escaping. You trapped your seething core behind a door of your feet.

Across from you Donnie watched in a stoop.

You took him in with the head twitches of a canary.

In his hand was what looked like a wet bowl. Tracing a drip of water as it fell to the bed, you saw the darkened spot where it had spilled. You vaguely registered he must have been trying to get the liquid to your lips when you’d jolted away and presumably dumped the thing. Only wondering how he’d gotten the tap or cabinets to work, you then took in his expression. 

It was open worry and unabashed fear.

That seemed impossible and your brow came down as an out of place swing got your attention. Tracing down Donnie’s body to it, you found his cock dangling between his legs. You weren’t sure if it was actually irritated or just the fact that it was out, but it looked inflamed.

Not given the time you examine, in a blink, he was gone.

Staring at where the canopy drapes were swinging back together, you could barely make out his form in the kitchen. There, you heard the loud crinkling of a water bottle before there was a gush as if it exploded. Not even entertaining the thought of moving, you saw his form return and he nosed into the curtains, snout first. His head then entered cautiously before he crawled up onto the bed with a freshly filled bowl. He then set it near you and shrank down, looking between you and it.

A part of you raged at obeying him, but it was squashed under incredible thirst. Moving wary only for a second, you hungrily snatched the bowl up and glimpsed him careening away from your movement. The bowl felt soothing in your grip and you palmed it with two hands to bring it up. As if tasting water for the first time, the ice cold liquid acted as a balm for your insides. Greedy on the first sip, you chugged and the overflow ran down your chin. Angles of your collarbone brought some of the water to your wound and you twitched at the pain.

It caused you to swallow wrong and, in coughing, Donnie appeared at your side. You shrank away from him and he lowered until he was nearly laying on the bed. Gawking at his display, the bowl came down between you. He lifted his head only enough to see inside it before glancing to where he’d exited the bed.

You cleared your throat before testing it. “La…ter?”

Comprehension wasn’t obvious, but still he darted away.

Staring again at swaying drapes, you gave up figuring out what he was up to and instead watched yourself thumb over some water on the outside of the bowl. It streaked and you made a soothing windshield wiper motion. Distracting by it, you only faintly registered he’d returned when there was a movement against the mattress.

Relenting only because nothing else came, you looked up in time to watch him drop a protein bar from his open jaw. It landed perfectly between you and he scurried back some as if to give you space to grab it.

You cocked a brow.

Unwilling to unfurl just yet, you rotated your body with a wince. Facing the object, you wondered how he’d gotten it. Not only was it in one of the upper kitchen cabinets, but it had also been in a box. He’d somehow gotten it over here and, from the looks of it, the wrapper was still in tact. 

Donnie made a worried noise and dropped to the bed again. Unsure, you lay your chin on your knees and watched as he dipped his snout into the sheets. Edging up to the bar, he then used it as a wedge and with an upward flick, the thing rolled a little closer to you. He ended the action with a trill and then returned to his far corner.

Now that you thought about it, you hadn’t eaten since lunch. You weren’t really hungry, but after an extra fiddle with the bowl, you finally set it down. Reaching out methodically, you caught the edge of the bar’s wrapper and pinched. Bringing the object in, Donnie repeated his last sound and it was one you identified as encouragement. Not checking with him, you peeled a corner open and took a small bite.

There was a clear rhythmic thump that must have been Donnie’s tail.

Glancing at your partner, you wondered if that had ever happened before. It wasn’t something you recalled and you felt pretty strongly that you would have noticed if it had. Your track record said otherwise, but you swept the annoying thought under a proverbial rug.

Taking another bite, you tried not to linger on his dangling dick. It was hard not to as you hadn’t seen one in who knows how long. You’d gotten used to the compact nature of him and seeing it out seemed wrong. Chewing, you moved on to take further stock of your surroundings. The blood stain on the bed wasn’t as big as you had imagined it. As if remembering it was injured, your shoulder throbbed. Frowning, you wondered if you’d be allowed to leave the bed. You needed some kind of ploy and uncoiling just a little caused one of your toes to brush the cold bowl.

The shock came twofold as you hit the bottom of the wrapper before realizing you’d eaten the whole bar. Thinking that was probably a good thing, you crinkled the foil and finished the last chews. Across from you Donnie bobbed slightly, trying to get a better look at you. Bringing your head up so he could see and calm down, he tensed. Shaking your head, you reached for the bowl.

“Can I get a refill?” You held it out to him.

His eyes only broke from you to glance at the bowl a single time. 

Otherwise, he was a statue of nerves.

He’d seemed eager to do it before.

Tapping the side of it, you tried to think. The balled wrapper crinkled as you moved and you gave it a passing glance. Setting the bowl down near where he’d dropped the bar, you ignored the faint protests of your body before returning to your spot.

In a flash, Donnie swiped up the bowl and left.

Not realizing you were about to hit the button on a stopwatch, you realized now was the time to make for your exit. Abdomen burning and excess cum still leaking, you managed to get to your feet. You heard the crinkling of plastic and hobbled as quickly as you could to the bathroom. Coming down from the burst of speed, you held your breath as you closed the door at a torturous pace. You were rewarded with a near silent click as the lock fell into place before you slumped against the sink.

In your periphery, your ghost in the mirror was a haunting one. Not giving them the time, you bent with a few pained zaps to get the first aid kit. It seemed painfully kismet that you’d either not been wholly present or weren’t really paying attention the other times Donnie had dressed your bites. You at least knew splashing hydrogen peroxide on wasn’t the way and reached for the tap. Just as your fingertips brushed the metal, you heard a panicked yip from the adjacent room.

“Here!” You called before you could stop yourself.

Inflating your cheeks in frustration, you flicked the tap angrily.

It wasn’t like you were trying to escape and he could easily break down the door if he wanted.

There was a curious chirp along with something brushing against the wood.

Instinct told you to open the door.

Why?

He’d only been a threat.

Hadn’t he?

Your hand was on the knob.

The rush of water drowned out the rest of your thoughts.

He made that worried sound.

Unlocking the door, you awaited alarm bells. 

There was only a silent expanse as you turned the handle.

Opening the door revealed Donnie crouched low with the filled bowl in his hands.

Leaving the door open, you returned to the sink. A curious sound chased you as you tested the water. It was far too hot now and you adjusted the other tap to get the temperature to a mid point. Soon adjusted, you did your best hunch to get your shoulder over the sink. The first water you splashed on it was pure agony. The next dulled as receptors went to work transferring unknown signals in your body. Using mild soap, you carefully cleaned the wound. Knowing you’d have to be at this for the next few minutes, you adjusted your stance to hold yourself up. 

When you finished, you had to shatter through the stiffness of your spine to locate a towel. Sacrificing the one nearest you, you took a small step back only to bump into something firm. Searching the ground, you found Donnie with his back to you neatly curled up. He looked very much like he was keeping watch so you left him to the task as you blotted your wound dry. It wept disrupted cells and you got hold of antibacterial ointment. Slathering it on and not having the time or steady hand to do the stitches you clearly needed, you then piled on gauze. Slapping on a cover to hold it all together, you made a move to step over your guard dog.

He animated first and scurried away, but not far. He watched from beyond the door frame and you found he’d left the water bowl behind. Scooping it up and lazily trailing back to the bed, you drank from it with one hand. It felt weirdly empowering as you parted the curtains and sat. Your core sore, you tipped further onto your ass and watched as Donnie trailed over to you, but continued to keep a certain distance.

Imagining how prolonged stress must have been wearing on him, you still couldn’t understand why. It was only you and you couldn’t remember having done anything to frighten him. The opposite was true and you’d only really passed out. It’s not like he’d cared much for your wellbeing prior to that. Taking another swig until the bowl was almost drained, you ruminated on how small he looked. It was odd how he could get that big body into such a low, submissive position.

Blinking, you sat up a little and he twitched.

“Wait… Are you…?” You leaned forward and he dropped further in time.

In a dart of his eye, he searched you.

Feeling the need to press, you reached out.

He flinched.

You’d seen that before.

It had been a long while.

He wasn’t scared of you.

He was scared for you.

It felt ridiculous that you hadn’t put it together considering you’d already realized that each consecutive nut had been giving him a sort of clarity. It was S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.’s description that had thrown you off. Donnie was acting on basal instincts, but you now knew why S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hadn’t fully agreed to the feral description. Donnie still knew things; he was simply in an animalistic state. Through minor changes, his apartment was constructed exactly as it had been for years. It’d be second nature to know what cabinet the snacks were in or how extra water bottles were on the door of the fridge.

Setting the bowl aside, you stared at him in a new light.

Each time he came, he’d found more and more wounds. Sorting your memories and trying to peel back the negative layer, you saw his worry increase. Then you’d passed out and there was no way that didn’t activate a painful core memory for him. There was a similarly stained milestone in your relationship and here he didn’t even have the ability to self-soothe. Instead he was fighting tooth and nail against mating instincts to care for you as much as he could. 

At least, that’s what his reddened member said.

It caught you in a terrible split.

What he had done was patently not okay.

That he had no control wasn’t his fault. 

It also didn’t erase what was done.

It felt similar to how’d you’d agreed to all this without knowing. 

Trapped and feeling shitty about everything, you couldn’t help but want him.

It was another catch-22. 

He’d hurt you.

He was the source of your comfort. 

Confused and dwelling on exaggerating your misery, you reached out to him. 

He watched, unaware of your internal struggle.

“I can’t really move to you…” The thought of getting on your knees sounding like agony, but you weren’t sure how else to beckon a wild animal. “Will you come here?�� You extended a little more. “Please?”

He leaned in like he would for a moment before he took a whole step back.

“Donnie…”

Wary of your prolonged attention, he began to round the bed.

Feeling very alone, you slipped behind the canopy and pulled at the edges of the top sheet. Donnie passed, curious, as you wrangled the sheet from beneath you. It freed from its corners and you pulled until the bundle wadded up in your lap. There you found the blood had only partially seeped to the fitted layer. Thinking on it, you felt the weight of the mattress shift. Looking over your good shoulder, found Donnie immediately stiffening as if you’d caught him. Giving him a quick once over, he didn’t seem like he was attempting to initiate anything so you gestured to the ball of cotton. “I’m checking the stain.” 

He viewed the item with a stretch of his neck before he circled.

You stayed still just in case, but he seemed more interested in something else. In a turn, he found a corner and caught the sheet with his teeth. Giving it a viscous pull, you weren’t really holding on so it came away from you easily. You then watched as he did some furious wrestling with it before proudly parading around you. It took several laps until he was satisfied, but Donnie mounded the fabric in a loose pool around you. He then backed into his corner and sat with minor wincing as he had to move his cock out of the way to do so comfortably.

“A nest?” You wondered, adjusting the embankment.

He made a faint chirpy noise.

This was probably meant to be comfort, but it wasn’t the kind you were hoping for. “Don…?”

Another acknowledging trill came.

Carving out some space with a kick, you gestured to the nest. “Come here.”

His brow ridge came down and you found him looking at what you’d done to his work with a form of frustration.

“Here.” You pointed to the divot.

His head lowered and there was a sour quality to his lips.

“You know what? I’m going to chase you if you don’t get your butt over here.”

He chuffed.

“I will. I don’t care if it hurts; I’ll get you.”

He simply watched with wrinkled features.

You made a sudden jolt as one would when trying to rile up a dog.

He hackles rose and he bumped one of the metal bars supporting the canopy. It made the bed shake which sent his gaze darting around with wild worry.

“Hey!”

He snapped back to you with a similar speed.

“Come. Now.” You pointed with more ferocity.

In a slow lowering of his gaze, you could tell he was having some kind of debate. It was a far cry from his usual ones as it was resolved quickly and ended with him inching forward. In a crawl, he approached you low and slow. Like a scared dog, you metered your movements and offered your hand again. This time he didn’t shy away, but leaned into it with a near constant flick between looking at it and checking in with you. When he was close enough, you were able to graze your knuckles against his cheek.

The reaction was instantaneous, he blew out with a decompression-like noise that sounded similar to when a screaming kettle is removed from the heat. Even through the single point of contact, you could feel just how tightly he was wound. Allowing him to watch your movement, you got your hand rotated and skirted his jaw. The muscles there felt like they were about to pop and his eyes shed a layer of anxiety to show a deep desperation. It all pointed to struggle and you could only imagine it was his instincts.

“I wish you could hold me…” You whispered, your other hand twitching as you resisted bringing it up. “Tell me everything's alright and that you’ll fix all this.” 

Donnie caught the movement and lingered on it, unhearing.

You turned the brush into a bare scritch.

It took several minutes, but he soon had the weight of his head against your hand.

“You don’t have to attack, do you? Just move nice and slow.”

He gave another injured whine before moving a little bit closer while taking momentary pauses to check with you.

You nodded affirmatively each time.

As he closed in, he dropped his chin right on where your other hand had been resting on your thigh.

“Almost there…” You whispered, giving what you hoped were soothing shushing noises.

He flopped into his side and you caught how he had to hold one of his legs up so as not to brush his dick.

“Does it hurt?” With both hands you scratched under his chin until his eyes drifted shut. Staring at his member and the weak bob that kept his leg up, you imagined it had to. That was skin that wasn’t meant to be exposed for so long. You idly wondered if there was some issue that was keeping it out. The thought was immediately dispelled as he was clearly still half erect. 

Still curious, one of your hands began to drift down his plastron towards it.

On high alert, he popped up and nipped at you while moving his lower half away.

“Hey…” You fussed, keeping your voice low. A pull in the muscles of your nethers pulsed in time with your heart. “It doesn’t have to hurt. In fact, it normally doesn’t…”

Not a full alarm, but a warning flashed in your mind.

It seemed impossible you could even think about sex. 

You shouldn’t want it. 

Not after what happened and especially not with this version of your partner. 

He was doing everything in his power to prevent that. 

In all actuality, you really needed to get him to sleep so you could go get that P.O.P. collar. 

With him actually subdued, you could start some real damage control. 

Were you still going to ignore the sensible option?

“Come back…” You urged, offering your hands again.

You could now easily see his struggle. 

He needed to breed so badly it was hurting him. 

Need and resistance swirled in two forces that threatened to consume him.

“Donatello, come to me.” You adjust where you were kneeling to beckon him.

There was a deep throbbing ache that warned you.

Though the fight made his head wobble, he came forward shivering.

This time when you got your hands under his chin, you quickly sent them further to cradle his neck. Feeling the smooth scar tissue there, you traced it.

He made a heady noise that warbled as he tried to swallow it. His lids rolled in a fight to shut.

Rising on your knees, you gave a gentle tug that held no force.

Between your legs pinged an alert like a sonar.

He came in the closest he had in what felt like hours.

“It doesn’t have to hurt.” You told both of you.

He gave a worried chirp that made his head bob.

Making an obvious show of it, you brushed your lips over his forehead.

Two consecutive chirps sounded in something akin to noises you heard from dozing pigeons.

You wanted him.

The thought struck you so hard, its explosion cleared the battlefield of your mind.

You shouldn’t.

By all accounts, it was wrong.

Your body was screaming as much; trying to dissuade you from coaxing the beast. 

You still had a feeling.

You’d already had many of those.

They were dangerous inkling with no facts behind them.

That was wrong.

No, it wasn’t.

It hadn’t always been bad.

This decision wasn’t clouded by unfounded confidence like before.

It wasn’t what had gotten you into this mess.

It was what you knew and that was Donnie.

You saw… something in me…

If you just tried again you could erase it.

That wasn’t possible.

It could help.

It could make it worse.

This wasn’t some fix.

How could he help?

He did this.

He hurt you.

He was your mate.

You took care of each other.

In a gentle push, your fingers had made it to his plastron.

Nearly dozing, Donnie’s blown pupils surfaced.

“Just a little…” You gave a little more force, directing him.

Chirping with a sort of understanding, Donnie backed up.

It reminded you of a strange slow dance as he neared the edge of the bed. 

He checked there before exiting and dropping low to the floor.

You hadn’t needed him to renew his submissive display, but it was a good sign.

He was still aware.

With minor strain, you reached and pulled the canopy apart so it wouldn’t be in the way. You then sat on the edge of the mattress and felt lingering muscle protests as you got your legs dangling off. Ever so slightly parted, you motioned for Donnie to return.

He looked you up and down and made a sharp click.

“It’s going to work. I know it.”

He hadn’t once smiled or frowned and you weren’t sure he could, but there was a downward tug on his lips.

“Please.” You steeped your tone with entreatment.

He was unconvinced.

Steeling the muscles in your stomach, you felt your throat. Tightening as best you could, you imagined the sound before you attempted it. What came out was a sorry excuse for one of his wounded whines.

Whatever it was translated because his eyes went as large as dinner plates.

He was upon you in an instant, eyes raking over you with panicked worry. You showed him your hands, which he passed over as he clumsily caught your forearms. There he pulled you a bit as he searched your body for the source of your pain. With him, distracted, you got a hold of his head.

He froze and sent his dark gaze into your face.

Still not at all used to making the noise, you gave what you hoped was a confirming chirp.

He sounded one colored in his own confusion.

Leaning in with what felt like slow motion, you pressed your lips to his.

When he couldn’t kiss back, you weren’t surprised. 

Undeterred, you simply renewed the press to confused lips before pulling away enough to see him.

He searched your face.

Hands trailing down, you kissed the corner of his mouth before nuzzling against him as he had you.

That was a gesture he understood and he returned it with faint hesitation.

Getting near where his plastron narrowed, your hands split to each grab one edge of the front. You there you carefully reeled him in while piling on distracting kisses and nuzzles.

With only a few weary protests as he was clearly enjoying the attention, you got him between your legs.

There he stiffened with realization and his palms flew down to either side of you on the bed. He yanked his face away from your barrage and made several threatening clicks.

You shook your head and wished you knew what a sound for comfort was. There was that trilling noise, but that had sounded more like a greeting or attention.

He was pulling away.

You tightened your grip and painted your face to plead. “Donnie, please. Stay.”

He didn’t understand.

Keeping one hand hooked to his plastron the other came up to guide his cheek. You tried to kiss him to translate though it had fallen on deaf ears before.

A sliver broke through. 

You could hear his resolve waning in his whine.

Sensing he’d stay in place, the hand holding his waist drifted lower.

You drank in non-reactive lips with a headier press until you reached his member.

The faintest touch of your digits caused him to violently lurch. The bed dipped around you, forcing you to plant your feet on the ground to keep from sliding off. His jaw dropped and you heard him blow out a large huff of air that tickled your clavicle.

The muscles in your ass tensed nervously as you waited with a mantra.

You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.

He rose with a weak wobble to look at you, very much betrayed and seemingly near tears.

You kissed him again and almost imagined him returning it. “You’re so good, Don. Slow, slow.”

Getting a hold of his member, you heard the clear noise of the sheets ripping on either side of you. With a loose grip, you stilled and whispered sweet reassurances against his cheek.

He panted openly, barely hanging on, while you kept urging him with your voice.

Time as a concept had broken down to nothing more than this room. When he rose, having conquered his current bout, you had no idea how long it’d been. You pecked a line of kisses along his jaw and cooed your happiness in an exaggerated way.

He took it in with a ragged look and rested his forehead against your cheek.

You leaned weight there before shifting your grip on him. Back at full salute, you guided his cock closer.

He tensed around you, head lowering to watch what you were doing.

Crowded by him, it marred your vision so you closed your eyes to line him up.

As soon as his heated tip brushed your lips, your whole body coiled. It wasn’t pain exactly, but a reminder of how swollen and sore you were. You felt Donnie move from your shoulder and, before you could do anything, his hand came between your sexes. Still not exact in his motor skills, the back of his appendage brushed your sex as he used it to create a barrier.

“Donnie-” You began to protest, but the touch sent a zap of electricity through you. 

He gave a single sharp click and half glared at you.

It felt very much like he was gloating. 

“It’s…”  You had to think. 

Hooking your knees around his thighs, you meant to keep him from retreating. 

Whatever was going on in his head, he did wait. 

Having bought yourself time, you figured you were in for a much needed examination. 

“Stay…” You tried to lean into him for a kiss, but he pulled away.

Your lips turned down knowing he was at a current state of having made up his mind.

“Just… don’t go…” You mumbled. With one hand going to his plastron to steady yourself, the other dipped between your legs and brushed his hand. He moved it only slightly, but it gave you enough room to slip your fingers into your folds. Puffy and irritated, the outer labia had been rubbed raw by friction. Testing a digit inside found you ultimately dry and tender around the first ring of flesh. Past that though, you hooked a finger as best you could and didn’t find as much pained tissue as you would have thought. Pulling out and sinking back, you huffed a sigh.   

Donnie held that self-satisfied air, but you were sure it was a construct of your mind.

Tapping his hard chest, you slowly lit up with an idea.

Unhooking your legs, you pushed him so you could fully sit upright. He took a retreating step as you dove for the nightstand. The rummage was fast as he always kept it nearby and you came away with a bottle of lube.

Donnie’s brow ridge dipped and he seemed to test the air.

Thinking it probably had the faint scent of sex on it, you poured an excess into your hand. Tossing the bottle aside, you clasped it within your other to warm it up. Probably having not waited long enough, you scooped the lube up into your dominant hand and dipped it between your legs. Twitching at the chill, you used two fingers to slide it through your abused lips. Acting as a sort of balm, you spread your legs wider and gently eased your entrance. The prodding helped and in an upward climb, you brushed your clit. The tingles of a positive sensation was, but it was a harsh cry from pleasure. Instead, it felt like soothing weathered nerves. You held all the control and comfort in the literal palm of your hand. Doing wide rolling sweeps just to hold onto the feeling, your head drifted back where you glimpsed your partner.

Your hand stilled.

Not realizing it, you had been putting on quite the show.

Donnie stood as a looming form, only a few steps away. His posture screamed horror movie with his head hunched down between his shoulders. Speaking to something NC-17, his cock was honed in on you with near malicious intent. At some point the stream of pre-cum had started back up and it oozed like a leaky faucet. Having pooled on the floor, it was in tracing it that you caught his fingers flexing. 

Eyes screwing shut and waiting for an impact, you were still glad for your decision to raid the nightstand.

If time did exist, it wasn’t with a second hand.

When nothing came you slowly cracked one lid open at a time to find your boyfriend was statuesque.

Studying him closely revealed more; his face was an odd portrait where his eyes were hypnotized by your sex. Around that though, his features were screwed up in what was obviously pain. The body language that had just seemed ominous now read withheld. His digits were pumping out from where he was routinely clawing his palms.

It was all an exercise in control.

He was fighting against his instinct with every fiber of his being.

Even with that beautiful mind of his buried, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you again.

The throb that went through you moved away from preclusion and toward titillation.

Still absently stroking yourself, you reached your free hand out to him. When he didn’t move, you called with that trill noise.

It moved on his head where he unintentionally tried to answer.

“Come.”

He hesitated before taking a shaky step to the side.

Following him with your outstretched hand, you felt the stirrings between your legs. “Donnie, come here.”

He still hadn’t broken eye contact with your sex, but he made a wide arc to get beside you. He hunched there fighting to pull his gaze away and losing.

Drunk off his attention, you went to caress his cheek when he got into reach.

Animating out disgust, he shuddered and jerked away from you.

You’d forgotten about the slick and had smeared lube onto him.

“Ack, sorry!”

If that wasn’t a sign he was still partially himself, you weren’t sure what was. 

He whined as if mortally wounded and reached up to wipe it. It was at the last moment he thought better and whipped his head as if that could get it off.

“H-here, wait.” Looking down, you saw where he’d shredded the sheets and used a flap to clean your hand off. You then tugged a strip free and held it up.

He sneered at it before leaning fighting himself to lean in. You wiped him clean with a dry spot and he chuffed, annoyed.

“I’m sorry.” You honeyed your voice.

He took the metaphorical scent of it and dropped to his knees to nuzzle you. You could almost hear him saying something about being unable to stay mad.

He would have found a way to make it more sultry than that, but he always said things you never expected.

Giving him a quick peck, you hooked him with your closest leg.

He clicked in frustration as his knees slid against the smooth floor when he tried to get away.

You couldn’t get him far, but it was enough.

Arousal building, you saw him catch the scent as his snout directed towards it.

A faint whine came out of him along with a small line of drool where he was clearly keeping his jaw taunt.

“We can; you just have to go slow.”

He was deathly still and you reluctantly pulled your soaked fingers from yourself. With that glistening hand, you reached for his cock.

Trapped between rationale and impulse, you brushed his glans.

His cock bobbed and he tossed his head before throwing you a watery gaze.

“We can. We’re allowed.”

His head shook less with disagreement and more as if clearing his mind.

With the smallest tug that was akin to a motion on a certain commanding children’s toy, your slick hand pulled over the ridge of his glans.

Several stunted rumbles came out of him reminiscent of a storm closing in. You repeated the motion and one of his knees came an inch closer. Getting a little more of his length you began to stroke him. It was clearly easing his throbbing member and, with warbled squeaks, he edged closer and closer. Getting a full pump of his member in reach, you tried not to bring too much attention to the fact that he was back between your legs. He was slow to unfurl, but eventually he found a single grip beside one of your hips. He hunched into you there, clearly trying to take in your scent greedily without touching you.

“You’re doing amazing. So good. I’m so proud of you.”

With each stroke, he was getting closer and closer to your entrance. Chewing your lip, you fumbled in your ministration to reach for the lube bottle. There you re-wet your free hand before returning to your task. Donnie seemed unperturbed by the disruption, especially when your newly soaked hand dipped between your legs. Working both of you and appendages growing milky with pre-cum, you tried to create a tandem. It worked to an extent, but you could only grasp so much of him one-handed. It left part of him without and he tried to rock to get as much mileage as possible out of the single grip.

It was within one of these thrusts that his tip brushed you again.

Now aching for his pulsating member, you let out a small moan where he gave a sharp peep.

The sound was so high pitched, you startled.

Thinking it was the move itself, he tried to run.

Reflexively, your legs encircled him which pressed him further into your sex.

Squeaking like a rung out dog toy, a tear rolled down his cheek.

“We can!” It took every fiber of your being not to roll onto him. Slick meant your grip on his cock wasn’t firm, but you tried to hold him steady.

His gaze was shredded and you could almost hear him shout about his lack of control.

“It’ll feel good, I promise.” You stroked toward you in a treacherously slow way. “For both of us, please. For both of us.”

Through your legs you felt his hips tense to the point of almost snapping before he finally allowed the sensation.

Perfectly aligned, his spaded cockhead just barely kissed your entrance proper.

Mewling, your hips moved the slightest amount pushing on him, but holding back from forcing him in.

Mid-whine, Donnie’s voice cracked before his other hand struck the bed with a force that bounced you. Bobbing up, his cock disappeared from you before you landed again, with him sliding through your folds. It was enough to break his resolve as he pushed inward. Not rushed, you sighed as your body tried to accommodate for him. You heard heady chirps from your partner as he held still. Without either of you doing more, the lube and preparations made it so his glans popped in.

Both of you groaned at the sensation and the spread locking him in was near instant.

With a look that said he was fighting for his very life, Donnie dragged his gaze to your face. You met him with lust and leaned up to him. His forehead found yours before his gaze dropped to where you were connected. With a brush of cotton, his arms moved behind your back to support you before he began to push further in.

Groaning and chasing him by tightening your legs, he continued to fill you to a point before he flat out stopped. Trying to grind, he nipped at you before you realized he was trying to give you time to adjust. You kissed him with apology and settled back against his arms to wait. It wasn’t long before he moved again and within three more pauses he was sheathed.

You sighed dreamily at the fullness.

It was an assurance personified. 

In a bump, he knocked your head.

Chuckling at the odd move, you met his gaze and the smile fell away.

What stared back at you was deep lust and intense possession. 

The smolder scored away any latent traces of pain. 

You clenched reflexively and he gave his first approximation of a grin.

It left you confused and he had to nudge you again to get your full attention.

As soon as you gave it he made a honed chirp. A totally new noise, it seemed to strike right into your brain stem. It flooded you with a strange warmth even though you had no idea what it meant. It felt important and he nuzzled you before pressing his hips.

It was pleasure and your eyes rolled back at his restraint. Reaching out to his plastron to hang onto the top edge, you chased back and finally rolled your hips. He gave a few far too quick pumps that made you glad you had your handle. You shoved him there to slow him and he stilled with twitching resistance. Holding him there as best you could, you tried to demonstrate the pace. You had little leverage, but with his attention trained, he leveraged what you showed versus what instinct screamed. It ended in a middle man that just barely teetered on too much.

Releasing him since he seemed to have a hang on the rhythm, you slung your arms around his neck to hold on. With your foreheads glued, you felt the whetting of perspiration. His arms around you slowly pulled from the bed to carefully grip your body. You moaned louder to encourage him and without the brace, you lowered yourself to lay back. The pose affected him and he strained to a sudden halt that had his eye twitching.

You whispered sweet encouragements and reached for him. He knelt down to meet your touch and in doing so tipped his hips. For the first time in the entire evening he brushed your g-spot and you unintentionally let out a yip. Stomach doing sudden flips at the move, you completely ignored his worry and tried to give what you hoped was a sultry sound. What came out was at first pitchy, but your throat caught on something which rolled like a purr.

You felt his member throb inside you before he pulled you down onto him. You had a warning on your lips, but he fucked it off of you with metered thrusts into that bundle of nerves. Crying out your satisfaction, he descended onto you. Not about to be squished again, you fought against submitting and shoved upward. His hips stuttered, but he didn’t stop so you bit down into the junction between his neck and shoulder. Exerting as much pressure as you could, the skin broke and the taste of blood confused you.

Your partner gave a deafening squeak before his rhythm totally devolved. Clinging to him with your teeth, arms, and legs, he lost your g-spot and thrust deep inside. Whining as your build up dissipated, you could routinely feel his plastron near your clit. Diverting strength downward, you bounced your calves to tilt him. He barely obliged and the edge of his shell gave a modicum of relief.

The coil in your belly finally winding, you released your jaw only to bite down again a little to the left. Donnie responded with a devolving rotation of chirps and squeaks that screamed rapture. Nearing your peak, you again couldn’t telegraph his orgasm until he suddenly stilled. Your mouth broke free to complain when the rush of cum came. Head falling back in frustration, you caught only a snippet of his face screwed up in pleasure as your body slacked around him. Wanting to punch something from how close you had come to truly feeling good, you could sense the chart following your orgasm miss its peak. The line was in a free fall and its plummet signaled the chances might drop to zero. 

“You know what?!”

Eyes unsteady, he tried to focus on your sudden voice.

“Nope!!” You squirmed beneath him, reeling your legs in. “You’re still gonna be hard and you’re going to finish me off, damnit! Four fucking times, no way!!”

Confused, Donnie released your waist.

One of your feet hooked the edge of his carapace and you kicked there.

A warning click transformed into a groan as you used the momentum to pull off of him.

Seed leaking from both you, you backed up while one of your hands latched onto the upper lip of his plastron. You yanked hard there and he scrambled to keep himself upright as you pulled him onto the bed. Shoving his utterly confused form around, you all but tossed him into the nest he’d created earlier. You then mounted him and took him all back in so quickly he gave a version of that pained whine from overstimulation.

“More.” You growled, grabbing hold of his face so you had his attention. “Make me cum. Make me scream. Make me feel so good!” To enforce your point, you rose up and then let gravity take you back down his shaft. His lips parted and before you could rise again, he took on an understanding air. Needing to breed and take care of his mate, his arms encircled you to a near crushing hug. He then used the force to lift you up and drop you just as you had yourself. Eyes swimming, you let him set the pace until your knees ached.

Again, you were close, but it wasn’t right. Wary, as soon as you made the slightest move, he released. Tenderly grabbing his shoulders and momentarily stalling to admire your handiwork there, you used him as leverage to lift again. This time it was to reposition and you slid your legs out from under you. When you came down, you used them to encircle him, essentially straddling him cross legged. It sent him deep and at a slight angle that he could use to his advantage.

Waiting for him to pick-up on it, you went to search him when he didn’t. He instead had been working up to something as he tested a gentle roll of his hips. It stirred his cock inside you and just barely brushed that bundle of nerves. Giving a breathy sigh, you crumpled against his chest as he continued the careful ministrations. Wondering how this version of Donnie could possibly think to do this, you heard a rhythmic thump and came away a little to catch the sound. In a shift of your leg, you found it was his tail and the knowledge of his wag had you tightening both inside and out. You imagined he must have been so proud of himself, like he’d received a treat in the form of your pleasure. Swiveling your own hips to match his stroke, he gave a single thrust before he growled as if to keep himself in line.

Chuckling at that, you pulled him down for a kiss. As soon as you got him, you shoved your tongue into his mouth. Clearly confused by the action, he simply leaned into you and you sucked. It coaxed his tongue out along with rumbling crests from his chest that would break with squeaky chirps. Uncoordinated, it was your best attempt at making out yet. You held onto him as a lifeline until you felt the wrench twist. Pipe nearly fixed, you broke away with a wet pop to shift the angle. It pressed him further into your g-spot and you sang his praises by mimicking those happy chirps he kept making.

It spurned him on as he gave a few curious ones before matching yours with a fierceness that translated into his hips. You held nothing back as the final tightening occurred and you unraveled as you finally came. Outright screaming, you shuddered atop him. You lost a few seconds to nirvana before descent was encouraged by him cradling you. His sounds were nearly as euphoric as you felt and there was an honored quality to them that might have also been from your orgasmic haze.

Falling into the sheets, Donnie nudged and nuzzled you happily. Giving a faint giggle, you patted him before giving him a scratch at the apex of his jaw. He melted there, squeaky like a toy, but with ever so slight presses of his hips where his cock was still buried inside. Having to lift your head to get a proper look at him, he was poured over your body. Now knowing not to drop his weight there, he held back and stared at you with outright adoration.

“All I want to do is tell you what a good boy you were.” Scratching both edges of his jaw he wiggled slightly from the force of his tail. “Wait, I totally can. Who’s a good boy?!” You giggled, unable to keep the cutesy voice away.

Overcome, he buried his face into your chest and gave that honed chirp.

Again it struck you as deeply significant, but he lifted his head in time with an incessant thrust.

“Right back to it?” You murmured, turning the scratch into a stroke.

He watched you dreamily.

“Well, my love…” You chewed your lip at that last part, knowing that would very much not be allowed otherwise.

This particular Donnie had no idea and seemed to crave the sound of your voice among other things.

“I guess…” You held a building tone that had him pause in wait. “Good luck with breeding me.” You booped his nose, flashed him a smile, and bucked up under him.

His eyes rolled back and he gave into the motion his hips were begging him to.

Though you had seen apocalyptic movies, the speed at which you devolved after that was astounding.

After several more rounds and more cum than any one person should ever have to contend with in a whole lifetime, you gave into sleep. You had drifted off curled around your partner who had switched to full doting when he wasn’t trying to breed you with intent. It meant water and you convincing him to bring the bottles as opposed to ripping them open. You got a slew of snacks and even a can which you outright laughed when you received. He had time to build a proper nest after he’d ripped up the sheets and pillows fully to construct something more akin to what you imagine his instincts craved.

Snuggly and warm, you awoke to see sun glistening in the kitchen through the canopy drapes. That meant something to you, but it evaporated as you noticed your vision would move just a little every few seconds. Worried about vertigo, you brought your sleep addled attention down to see one of your feet bobbing in the air. Blinking off sleep, you saw Donnie had a careful grip under each of your knees where he was holding your legs up. Clearly have been fucking you gently so as not to wake you, he gave a happy trill at your attention.

“Good morning.” You clenched as you let that thought sink in.

He gave a spindly chirp and picked up the pace.

Having been nearly constantly filled, there was no way to tell how long he’d been at it. It felt like the vein where there was no approximation for how long his heat would last. With soreness a problem for future you, the current embraced the cycle which shrank to nothing but fucking, drinking, eating, and sleeping. With time already nonexistent, the only thing changing in the apartment was lighting. It again stirred you with meaning, but Donnie’s attention wiped it away each time without fail. He was cock and cum and love and you reveled in it.

It became caresses and brushes inexact, but revelatory. With moans and rolling tongues breathed life to intimacy. Sweat slicked into the fluids seasoning closeness. Greased there and slid across the grill top, your love was seared. It’s scorched surface came it grasped limbs that held on to its juices for dear life. Flavor baked in, thrusts and jostles called for more orders. Satisfaction was granted in screams, but your bellies were insatiable. The filling came uniquely, but never quenched. Drenches and yearning, you’d come away for a kiss as if that would stoke the fire.

Now that he understood you were also party breeding, the whole affair shifted to that of a combined one. For him, the most relief came from being buried inside of you. It soothed the irritation of both his ever present dick and metered his instincts. From there, besides the obvious filling, he was chasing what he must have considered your elusive high. Not always able to replicate the same results with the exact same methods, it frustrated his stunted mind. It also meant the reward was a greater one that he pursued all the more. Laviousing in non-stop pleasure, you only had to contend with his seed. You still hadn’t quite figured out why there had been a shift away from the knot, but you imagined it had to be related to the surplus. Trading one breeding technique for another, instead of locking on, his body had shifted to upping its chances another way. 

Submerged for what had to be several days based on the alternating dark and light, there was a knock at the door. You had been resting between sessions and Donnie went full guard dog. Minus the barking, he stalked out of the bedroom ready to viciously attack whoever dared come near his space. Thinking the display was quite territorial, you made it on wobbly legs to check it out. He tried to herd you back to bed with worry, but you brushed past him with little reassurances. Clearly unnerved, he tangled around your legs as you eventually made it to the peephole. There was a stack of what looked like groceries outside with a bright purple note on top.

Thinking only at the last second to not open the door nude, you clambered back to the bedroom and eventually found a shirt. Donnie had many clicking protests about that and you shooed him thinking you might need a broom. He eventually relented with a heavy grouch and you got the door open while somehow keeping him back. Dragging the conveniently tied pile in, you locked the door. Leaning against the couch and leaving Donnie to inspect the lot, you read the note.

Hey Y/N,

I hope you’re doing alright. Despite the lock-out, please know you can send an SOS anytime via either your tech gauntlet or the computer. I’m… ‘sorry’ isn’t the right word, but I don’t… Well… I could erase all this hesitation, but it might read better if I leave it in, don’t you? Basically, I think I get why you did what you did and knowing you, you know why I did the same. I care about you and I want you to be happy…

Breaking away from the page, you had to wipe away the tears that were forming before continuing.

Gushy stuff aside, I calculated you would probably be running out of food and water about now. I got you a bunch of provisions, but specifically meal replacements because I have a feeling those are SUPER necessary. Again, I’m def trying not to freak out and hope everything is fine. Please let it be fine. Love you! Shelly

Tears now flowing, you lowered the page only to find Donnie watching you with intense concern. You gave him a watery smile and were about to tell him it was okay when he turned his attention to the paper in your hand. Thinking it was the perpetrator, he tried to snatch it and you got into a minor skirmish to keep him from shredding it.

He gave up with even more pouting that he promptly forgot about as you unpacked the bags. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had seemingly thought of everything and you nibbled on a meal bar while carting similarly balanced drinks to the fridge. Stocking didn’t take long and you even got Donnie to eat something. Despite presumably losing all his bodily fluids each time he came, your boyfriend had not been taking in near enough water or food. With all his attention on you, he seemed to have no other drives outside of care and mating. It worried you, but you had first hand experience that said he wasn’t getting the least bit weaker. 

In fact, the only thing that ever seemed to wear on him was his constantly dropped cock. His literal point of weakness in many senses, it just wasn’t possible for you to always be on it. While breaks had sometimes come mutually, more often than not, it pained Donnie to pull out. It was there when he had the most slips in his coherency. He’d growl at you for moving too much if you needed him off. Thankfully, he’d return near instantly and fuss over his little lapse. You’d shush him over his worry because he hadn’t come anywhere near hurting you again; it was just that your human body could only handle so much. 

Not just obliging him, you were also enjoying yourself. It was an engulfing euphoria that made a mockery of your past marathons. The only problem was, while the mind was willing, the flesh was weak. As much as you convinced yourself time was no longer constant, that future you was looming closer with each consecutive round. The ache in not just your nethers, but your entire body began to sound at all hours. Lube helped and the magnanimous S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had had the forethought to drop off more along with his other provisions, but there was only so much it could do. The only real balm was stopping and you neither wanted to nor really had the capability. 

It mattered little when stripping life down to the bare essentials had been rapturous. Though you could never say you went the way of the kids Lord of the Flies, but you did feel a slip in which you had started to understand Donnie’s animalistic speech. It wasn’t really language as much as it was expressions of emotions. There were still a couple that were too abstract for you to identify, but you became adept at mimicking the simpler ones. Applying them pulled a near similar reaction to this Donnie as using his tech did to your usual boyfriend.  

The fun and games truly waned when, after what you had estimated to be a week had passed, your body finally began to give out. Though a breakdown had been in your periphery, the actual collapse had been swift. Every part of you ached with muscles devastated by the near constant work out. There was never enough time for repair as refractory periods were out the window. In only a slight contrast, while Donnie appeared to have held up, in actuality exhaustion was tearing him to shreds. It had taken you about five days to catch, but due to the territorial nature of his rut, you found that he wasn’t sleeping. Instead, he was compelled to keep vigil over you when you did. As his precious mate, he couldn’t risk anything happening to you and with the need to breed taking over when you were awake, he simply stayed awake at all times.

When the inevitable collapse finally occurred, you were thankful it had happened on the bed. Side by side, the two of you had basically fallen off one another after a round with Donnie especially collapsing onto his carapace. You watched with your own form of drowsiness as he fended sleep off with heavy lids for only a few seconds before he passed out slack. Snuggling close to keep your own watch, you made it only a few more minutes before succumbing yourself. When you finally came to, it was a different type of light that said you must have slept over twelve straight hours. That being the most of the entire heat, you felt especially dehydrated. Head refusing to raise, you were about to ask for water when you found your partner still asleep, now on his side.

Outside his usual form, he was curled, near fetal, except he couldn’t pull his legs up to his body. Laying out in the way as the culprit was his swollen cock. Apparently extra hard from its sudden disuse, his glans lay in a pool of pre-cum where leaked in search of its host. As you watched, you also saw the faint trickle move as you tracked his hips rocked in his sleep. Struck by the need and necessity of caring for your partner, you rolled over with great difficulty. Now facing away from him, you scooted back, minding his sleep. It took some lengthy maneuvering, but you got yourself in position. You thought touching his angry cock might wake him, but under your hold he only made a withered sound and was barely disturbed under his forced slumber.

Knowing the feeling well, you stroked his head through your folds. Having time, you let the pre-cum lubricate you before your own slick somehow managed to build. Wondering how that could be with the many sessions, you checked over your shoulder to find your mate still asleep, with only his brow ridge creased. Wanting to watch the relief wash over him, you aligned him and scooted just enough so he’d enter. To him the fill came with a dream sigh and smoothed features, while for you there was a strange mix of discomfort and solace. Thinking you had gotten a little too used to being stuffed, you made sure you were accessible before finding a comfortable position on your side.

It took a few minutes, but his dreams must have taken shape because he began to rock into you at a lazily pace. It only took slight encouragement from yourself before his tired arm came around. Biting your lip to keep silent, he pulled you flush to him as if you were a pillow. Weary, your innards were warmed with him both physically and mentally. This position required little of your body and came as easily as sleep. Nearing said precipice, it was only the nudge of his hips that kept you conscious. There was something to the sleep sex, the deep need that surpassed waking thought that stirred you. It brought a hand down to your abused clit, where you instead massaged the bundle of nerves just above it.

Orgasms as of late had either not felt like much or exaggerated the ache. This one, however, whether it be from your tired state or the possible kink, felt like it could be a pleasurably crest like a tide rolling in on a sun drenched morning. Riding that thought and Donnie in general, a little adjustment had him nuzzled against your g-spot. It had become heavily bruised in the interim, but you still throbbed at the contact.

Breathing speeding up and numbed shocks running through your wrists, you tipped back to see him once more. He seemed serene, but still knocked clean out. You couldn’t help but press an awkward kiss to his slack jaw. He pulled you a little closer and his hips picked up just slightly. Pleasured warping as exhaustion took hold, there was a blissful quality to cumming. With no exact start, the high seemed to align with you slipping into the first stages of sleep and the current carried you away to dreamland.   

The next rousing found you very much in the same position. Comfortably full, you wondered why neither of you had thought to sleep like this. Stickiness said he’d hit his own climax at some point and the tacky quality spoke to another long bout of sleep. Mouth a desert, you blearily looked and found the light of midday. Groaning at the thought, you tried to sit up when a headache quaked between your lids. Wilting, your partner stirred from where he was wrapped around you. He too seemed to test his hips first, acknowledging the connection before nosing up from the snuggle into your shoulder. He gave what you had come to know as your good morning trill, which you returned in kind. Peeling apart from one another, he hadn’t quite pulled his cock out. You mourned your lack of shower which was something Donnie had vehemently blocked as soon as you had tried to turn the knob. You’d gotten by with the sink in small spurts, but he really only let you clean your wound at most. You imagined it would take a community pool to rid yourself of your week-long soiling. 

Rubbing a hand through the oils on your skin, you felt Donnie press your connection. Giving him a shrewd smile, you cocked a brow. “Already?”

He made a needy noise that you had decided was his version of an apologetic ‘it can’t be helped.’

Nodding and still tired, you pulled him out which brought light grouchy chirps. “I’ll top. I need to stretch.”

Forcing up against every muscle group's unified protest, you felt like a scab as you turned and gently coaxed Donnie onto his back.

Trust had him rolling over and you mounted him with a press to his plastron to alert him that he was to stay down.

He obliged as his hands settled comfortably on your thighs while you straddled him. Locating one of many loose lube bottles on the bed, it took tossing two to find one with a little left. Making the most of it, you added it between the both of you before returning him to you. Sliding down onto his shaft with enough practice for what felt like ten lifetimes, he sighed, grateful.

“Good, good.” You cooed, squirming to get him settled. “We’re getting nothing but take out for like two weeks after this. All fresh food too. It’s so bad when you’re actually craving a salad.” Reaching your arms up you attempted to pop your shoulder blades while riding him.

He had a sort of smile on his face as his lower lids watched your stretching form appreciatively.

Feeling a crack and groaning loudly at the pressure release, you crossed your arms behind your head and did a roll of your neck. Donnie gave a little buck which your ground down on causing him to give a weak chirp. “My speed.” You scolded, earning yourself another crack which made you feel like jelly.

Fingers flexing on your legs, you felt his digits tracing you as you rounded out your routine arching backwards. The bend had you nearly seeing his toes before something gave and you almost wanted to collapse right there. Thinking better of it, you righted with a forward curling and found it strange when Donnie’s hand was there cupping your breast. Tracing the arm to his face found his a similar neutral. Mildly confused, he hadn’t once paid your chest any mind in what you decided had to do with a turtle's distinct lack of mammaries. 

Now that his hand was there, you thought it might be for support and you so mimicked him with appendages to his pectoral scutes. As this was definitely going to be one of those times you weren’t going to come, you made your intentions clear that you were going to lay atop him. His hand retreated and you slowly crawled your way down until your belly just touched him. There, with his dick curved into your nethers, you bounced your ass swiftly. His eyes rolled back and his fingers flew to sink into the thick of your rear. Loving his openly entranced expression, it helped bolster your continued rhythm until you felt something you hadn’t in awhile. 

The knot was clearly inflating. 

Caught off guard by the stretch, you slowed. 

Donnie gave a clear human-like groan in agony.

Eyes shooting wide, you snapped upright.

It elicited another rasping protest, something else came out of him, “Y-Y/N…”

“Donnie? Donnie!!!” Forgetting all about the act, you lunged at him. You made it all the way to his upper body before his spread glans kept you from coming right off his cock. 

He tried to crack an eyelid, but his hands pulled at your hips. 

With precision, you slid back along his plastron as he buried himself back into you.

Irritated, you fucked him there straight through to his climax.

Rushed, he nearly sobbed as you came straight off the knot with a struggling squirm. 

Free, you crawled back up to him to find his gaze surfacing. 

What stared back at you through a layer of immense exhaustion was your usual boyfriend.

“Donatello!!”

“Wha…?” His voice was raw with disuse.

“It’s you!!” Tears sprung up in your eyes. “It’s really you!!! Welcome back!!!” They loosed on your cheeks as you plied him with kisses.

“I-” There was a moment where he relished the barrage before a dozen other of his senses came online. “Ugh… your breath…” He turned his head, but you kept plying him. “No… you must stop…!”

“Donnie!!” You could only dumbly repeat. 

You buried your arms under his neck to give him a huge hug.

There was some hesitation as he held you before he went patently stiff.

Something you had grown used to, his seed was leaking out of you. From your legs, you could feel it had pooled on the flat of his plastron. Reaching critical mass, the first drips of it were oozing down his sides.

“Eugh!” His voice warped with disgust. “I…  I understand the gravity of what's happened, but you must get off-”

You squeezed him tighter, loving the sound of his voice.

“Oh…” He held the note with distorted surprise. “Oh, fuck. Off. Off!! Get off now!!!”

Order clear, you scrambled backward, only to fall to the wayside as he sat up before you were clear. “Wait, wha-?”

He stared with bleeding agony between his legs. “My dick is on fire! It burns!! Why does it burn?!”

“Yeah, you’ve been dropped for like eight or nine days.”

“I’ve been-?” Horror took place of pain and he turned to you. “It’s been how long?!”

“Over a week.” You slumped in the nest.

“We’ve been-? We need to-? Have you-?” All the thoughts seemed to rush to him at once and he got tangled in them. Needing to free himself physically, he shot for the edge of the bed.  

“I wouldn’t do tha-!”

You watched him try to get to his feet before he dropped like a stone.

“Yeah…”  

“What happened?!” His voice came up from the floor.

“A… lot… I’ll catch you up, but we both need S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. stat.”

“S.H.E.L.-?” He stopped cold and the silence was almost eerie before he spoke again with even ferocity. “Where is my P.O.P. protection?”

“Donnie-”

“Y/N.”

“One thing at a time!”

“It is one question.”

“Actually there’s been a few.”

Like a creature crawling out of a lagoon, on of his elbows flew up and dug into the mattress. He then used it to creep upwards until his face appeared. “Y/N!”

Slow and taking your time not out of pain, but tepid fury. You sauntered towards him on all fours. 

He watched you with increasing concern. 

Reaching him and putting on your own menace, you towered over him. “I have been fucked non-stop for over a week. I think that puts me in lead position, don’t you? Override the Darling Protocol lockout I initiated and get S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. here now. Then we’ll talk.”

He gave a single submissive squeak before his eyes doubled in size at what must have been a dozen alarming things.

“Good.” You collapsed back in the bed and listened as he clambered over to his computer.  

NEXT

MEGAPHONE beta screech this week. These two really put up with me! @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[elaichitea24]

My heart breaks when I come across a page like yours with an owner the age you are because I see myself a decade ago. I would genuinely give my life to stop young me from going down the road I did and it all began with a small ed account similar to yours. I was thirteen then, completely sure this would be something I’d do for a few months and then be done with it. I’m now twenty one. I’m relapsing again. It has never stopped for one second. The voice is always there. There hasn’t been a moment since I created that first account where I have had a healthy thought about food or my body. Over the years, my view of myself has become so distorted that I don’t trust the mirror. I look at myself and am always unsure if I actually look like that. Or if I’m fatter or skinnier. I haven’t worn tank tops or anything with spaghetti straps since I was thirteen. If I wear leggings, I have to wear shirts long enough to cover my thighs. I delete photos from my family’s photo album because I hate how I look. This disorder stemmed from a traumatic incident, but as time as passed and I’ve gotten therapy, I’ve gotten over it, but this disorder lingers on. It sticks on you and takes a mind of its own. I plan my outfits for fancy events weeks in advance. I hate my family’s tradition of taking pajama photos in Christmas because I think I look fat in pajamas. I hate how I dress. I wish I could dress how I want, but I hate myself so much in it that I settle for boring shit. It holds me back from being healthy, authentic, and free. When I first created my account, I too get messages from older people saying the same thing I’m telling you now. And I also ignored them. I didn’t care and thought I wouldn’t let it get “that bad.” But, spoiler alert, just THINKING about starving yourself is “that bad.” My heart aches as I know you are starting a vicious cycle that will steal so much happiness. I wish I listened when I was thirteen. My only regret in my entire life is this disorder. The only thing I wish I could change. It is impossible for me to convey how much it isn’t worth it. You’re young. Delete this account and reach out ASAP. You’re doing this for a deeper reason than just weight loss (probably control). You have time before you’re doomed like me. Because that’s what I am. Doomed. This will always haunt me. I know I’m lucky if you even consider what I’m saying right now and I understand if you respond with a little “thanks but I’m too fat anyway xoxo.” I know you because you are me in the same exact path I was. I look on your account and it’s word for word, post for post, picture for picture of what I did. You don’t realize how much of a kid you still are and it just is heartbreaking watching you suffer. Knowing first hand the pain you’re enduring. There is a way out, but I can’t force you to take it. I can tell you life will be way easier if you get out now, or you can learn the hard way. It’s up to you. But regardless, I am sending all of my love to you. You deserve so much more and I am so sorry for whatever brought you to this state. Please stay safe and please hang in there. You will see this through and it will get better. Keep living❤️

This whole thing is so sweet ☹️ I’m so sry you’ve been suffering so long, I hope you’ll be able to find peace soon. As for getting out of this, I tried recovering for a few months but I couldn’t do it, I found so much more comfort in the control and the hunger. I had fully intended on deleting this account too and I hope one day I will be able to get past this. Thank you so much for the concern though, i can’t lie when I say this thought always plagues my mind.

I really do appreciate this all, it’s very kind. Again, I hope you’re able to get better one day as well <33

[deliriousfangirl61]

Calla Lillies [Jake "Hangman" Seresin] Chapter II

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Hailey Dugan

Masterlist [~~~~]

18+

Series Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, smut (later on in the series), age gap? (like 6 years because I feel like Jake is around like 32/33, lemme me know if you disagree), cursing. MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT 18+ content in later chapters.

----------------------

Jake "Hangman" Seresin was finally settling into his new posting in North Carolina. He is back up in the air after his last mission and back to raising hell like always. Yet he can't help but miss The Dagger Squad and after watching Liv and Rooster tie the knot he is feeling just a tad bit lonely and longing for something more. Not that he would ever admit it though. However when he gets some new neighbors in the form of a stunning 26 year old plant-shop owner and a 7 year-old boy, Jake just might feel that tiny little whole in his chest filling. His new neighbor is kind yet fierce, and as she struggles to navigate the new realm of guardianship over her younger brother her next door neighbor is more help then she could have every imagined.

-2 Months Later-

The loft is incredibly quiet, I sit at my kitchen counter sipping on coffee as I flip through the latest inventory report. Lucas has yet to stir, but he doesn't need to be up for another 30 minutes. My phone dings but I know who it is. Matthew has been trying and failing to come up with a half-decent excuse to see me. I ended things two days after I brought Lucas home and Matthew quite loudly told me I was ruining my life.

Asshole

Lucas also decided then and there that he hated Matthew and had 'accidentally' sent his little rocket toy straight into his groin. I had laughed so hard I nearly cried and I had yet to see Matthew for more than a few minutes at a time. Once when he came to get his things and I returned the engagement ring and another when he cornered me in the shop. I had threatened to hit him with a shovel until he left. I had no want to see him then and I have no want now.

"Can you make pancakes for breakfast?" Lucas' voice is soft and groggy and I turn to the curly mop of hair that is truly a sight to behold after he first wakes up.

"Sure bub."

Lucas grins and climbs onto the high barstool of our kitchen island and rubs the sleep from his eyes. His cast is still a bulky annoyance on his wrist but he gets it off in a week and I'm sure he can't wait.

I had packed most of the kitchen things away for the move but I pulled the things out that I needed and started to make the pancakes. Lucas and I found the perfect house for both of us and since I've saved up a lot I was able to snatch it up pretty quick.

The savings was supposed to be for a wedding but fuck that

So I was able to put the down payment and pay most of it off. I've spent the last week decorating Lucas' room. He said he has always wanted a baseball-themed room so with the help of Maura we did a baseball-themed bedroom. It's not too kiddish so when he grows he isn't too embarrassed.

If you win custody and he can even grow up in that room.

I push that thought away and busy myself with the pancakes.

"Can we get a cat?"

I glance over at Lucas who is staring at me. He is resting his chin on his non-broken hand.

"That seems a bit random. What makes you want a cat?"

"It's not random," Lucas says in a serious tone I rarely hear from him. "I love cats and so do you. They are very easy and I saw a book at Dr. Kelter's office about how some animals can help with stress and anxiety. Plus! We are moving into a whole house so plenty of room." I want to laugh at the amount of thought he put into this but his comment about stress and anxiety snags my attention.

"Are you feeling a bit anxious again bub? That's okay but I want to know so I can help."

"Not really. Dr. Kelter helps a lot and I feel really safe with you."

My heart melts and I lean over kissing his forehead.

"I always want you to feel safe Lucas."

"I really like staying with you." He says softly.

"I really love you staying with me bub." I take a deep breath. "You know there's always a chance I can try to make it permanent."

Lucas peers through his curls.

"Really? Like I wouldn't go back to Arizona?"

"Yeah, but that also means you would stay with me, and you might not get to see Mom as much as you'd like." I want to be honest with him despite my feelings towards our mom.

Lucas is quiet for a moment. "I don't feel safe with mom though I feel safe with you. Do you think she'd be mad if she knew I wanna stay here with you instead of with her? I don't know if I wanna make her mad"

"I don't know honey. But I also wanna make sure you don't feel confused. So why don't I ask Dr. Kelter if you guys can talk about it in your next session?"

Lucas nods. I finish the pancakes and cut them up for him.

"Alright, here you go bubs."

His eyes light up as I push the plate in front of him, temporarily forgetting our previous conversation.

"Thanks, Hails," Lucas mutters.

"No problem bub, I'm gonna go get dressed and get your things together for school. Whenever you're finished get ready please."

"Mkay." He mumbles through a mouthful of pancakes.

I ruffle his hair and place a kiss on the top of his head before heading to get ready. I take a deep breath when I'm out of his view.

Holy crap

I wasn't expecting that conversation today. I have been trying to figure out how to bring it up. I followed Erica's advice and I got a lawyer as soon as I got back to North Carolina. I hadn't told Lucas, he was dealing with a lot of emotions and I didn't want to confuse him.

My phone starts blaring Taylor Swift in my pocket. Luckily that is not Matthew's ringtone but it is Maura's. It does snap me out of my little stupor though.

"What are you doing up so early it's not even past 8 yet." I joke as I answer and I can practically see her roll her eyes.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Lucas and I were gonna watch a movie and eat popcorn in a fort with all the boxes."

She huffs. "Crap do you think it's too late to get a babysitter?"

I laugh softly. "Probably, but why would I need a babysitter?"

"There's a new bar opening and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a Navy bar, so some of the guys from the base should be there and you know I am a sucker for that uniform."

I laugh.

"Not that I'm in love with that idea but I think Collin's mom mentioned a sleepover on her weekend with him and I think that's this week. I'll ask her at drop off today."

"You're the best! Oh, you should wear that blue dress that you ..."

"I gotta go Maura."

"Love you!"

I pull on some of my work clothes, which mainly consist of old T-shirts and jean shorts. Or the occasional overall or leggings. Owning a plant shop isn't exactly clean work.

"Alright, Lucas hurry up bud! We're running early for once let's not squander it." I call after him.

"But I like our mad dashes to the car." Lucas calls back."

"Please."

I hear his sweet giggle and then I see his curly mop of head appear.

"I should probably fix your hair first."

Somehow Lucas and I managed to keep ahead of the time today. I pull into the school parking lot at the perfect time when all the other moms are actually there too. Normally I'm scrambling in with Lucas towed behind me and Mrs. Thunton is the only one left.

"Oh wow everyone is here," Lucas comments as I pull his bag out of the back seat.

"See this is what happens when we're on time. Isn't it cool?"

"Sure." Lucas sounds completely uninterested but I appreciate the effort.

I don't miss the surprised looks of some of the moms as we approach. Yes, I am that guardian who is constantly scrambling, but 90% of them have husbands who help or they've been doing this longer than 9 months.

They can suck it up and stop being so judgey.

"I see Collin!" Lucas exclaims as he yanks his backpack from my hands and bolts to the playground.

He completely ignores his principal Mrs. Thunton as she greets him. I wave to the woman and send her a smile. Now to find Collin's mom.

"Kelly!" I call and the woman glances up from her phone and a smile spreads on her face.

"I was going to wait for you but look at you being on time." She jokes.

"Don't get used to it. Are you still offering to have Lucas over for a sleepover? He and I talked about it and he doesn't seem too anxious about it, he's made a lot of progress and honestly, he absolutely loves playing with Collin."

"Oh my god yes! That's what I waiting for you for. Collin has also been struggling and I think their friendship is such an anchor."

I nod. " I completely agree he's been so amazing to Lucas."

"Oh great, do you want me to just pick him up from school today?"

"I need to get his things together but I will meet you here and see if Lucas wants to ride with you or with me. Driving still makes him a bit nervous I think."

"Completely understand."

I grin. "Thank you so much, Kelly. I will see you at 4:00."

"See you at 4:00!"

Once I'm back in the safety of my car I call Maura. She picks up on the second ring.

"I am free tonight."

"Yes! It's party time bitch!"

What a freaking dork

Alrighty folks! Yes I know I finally updated but listen I have been one stressed spaghetti with school so I am sorry but give me a break lol.

Just comment below if you wanna be on the tag list.

I hope you guys enjoyed it.

[~~~~] Next Chapter- Coming Soon

[tojikai]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I CANT– NO! I SWEAR TO GOD NO 😭😭😭😭😭 IT CANT BE PLEASE NO my anxiety right now is like 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 PLEASE POR FAVOR お願いします WHATEVER LANGUAGE YOU WANT, I BEG YOU NO 😭😭😭😭

SERIOUSLY, this fic is messing too much w my emotions, i dont think i can take it anymore LMAO i got the notification i was already nervous, then i started reading and my heart was beating SO FAST and i now i feel like throwing up and crying damn kkkkkkkk /smiling through the tears/ you rly making me feel all sort of things, im sad but enjoying it too much to complain lol

OKAY. I need to be honest here: i read that ask someone said how they perceived each character and i MAY feel more empathetic to Satoru now lol (ormaybeimjustbiasedwhatever) truly happy to see him working on himself and everything else but bro??? c'mon¡!!!¡!! you shouldn't be so naive atp anymore pls she was even talking to the dragon when you got home, my love 😭😭😭 hopefully she wont get pregnant, or loses the baby, or gets arrested for touching someone w/o consent, or gets in a car accident and dies– anyways, there are soooo many ways it could so i will hope for the best while hoping for the worst too;;; the things you do to me, istg 🥲

Also, Toji's showing too many red flags lol i mean, i can kinda understand him but???? Nah, it's like he isn't even trying to listen and understand the reader 🧐 girl, just take your lil girl and run, all mens are bad atp lol go find geto suguru, he knows how to be a good girl's dad and is handsome too

Anyway, after this chapter i may or may not have wavered as Team Toji 👀 its a bit worrying tbh and im that type of person who thinks "one alarm's enough, im out bye~" so cant be hypocritical here and say i want reader to stay lol but i also dont want reader w gojo bc his hag of a mother is rly unsettling, dont think its a safe environment for her or yui,,, im thinking too much im stopping and let the worry for the next

AH JUST REMEMBERED STH!!! Cant help but feel happy that satoru's father backed him up against his mother 💛 wishing a nice future for this man too bc that woman is tOTALLY INSANE!! Who the hell talk like that abt baby trapping someone???? Damn,,, reader rly should have reported her or sth i feel like she'll keep causing trouble whilst out of jail 😭😭

Muito obrigada for this chapter, was rly a great experience (tho i felt anxious LOL) and actually it always is whenever i read something from you :) hope youre taking care of yourself and having a nice week, be well <3

satoru's father would always have his back. he's literally just there for satoru🥹 he lost his first born already, he's not letting anything happen to satoru too. and yeah, toji really got his supporters torn😭 where he's coming from is understandable tho, but in a rs, it always has to be mutual sooo... yeah, thank u so so much for the support <33 im happy u enjoyed itttt

[minmin-pal]

omg i just saw all your new artworks and your photographs post:D They all look so pretty!/gen Moody/dark weather always looked so cool to me, your photographs of them look very nice:D (is it weird to comment that you looked nice/lovely?/lightheartedly i don't know if it's like weird or anything so please ignore if it is:")/gen)

the variations in your art (even if just the recently posted ones) always look so nice<3 i don't know why i was expecting actual fish bones when i opened the "see more"? i absolutely adore how you drew the frills and just your general lineart style<3 your compositions always looks so nice too definitely<33

do i even need to mention how absolutely lovely your shading looks? because it is very lovely to look at, (I feel as though im overusing that word now TT/halfjoke)

i hope your day's been going okay :)<3!/genuine love you stranger, take care>:) /lighthearted/genuine

(also again i had to mention, im sorry if the whole "love you stranger" thing is weird or makes you uncomfortable/genuine please just mention if you'd like for me to refrain from saying it again and i will! take care )

HI!!!! i love reading ur messages so much i :grin: for hours on end thank u for kind words 🙏 i dont really post my photography here so iam veryvery glad u liked it (its not weird to me :) im just enamored u feel that way) i have more drafts like that (the photographs) one cuz theyre from when i only really lurked on here and vented like once a week (then deleted it right after cuz. embarassed) theyre all the same moody dark type like this

:D i feel like my regular art style is changing a bit probably becuz ive been branching out more to try and draw in lot s more ways its the same in heart though (and as always i am wholly infatuated with your praise-- it honestly feels undeserved haha)

with the recycling bin fish drawing i was originally gonna make the fish in the bin bones but fish just look much cuter when they arent dead i honestly dont know how to respond to all of this cuz ur just being so overwhelmingly nice (/pos) and i dont wanna just keep saying thank u cuz. i really am happy and thankful but overstating it makes it feel false!! im grateful u like my art!! :sob:

my days been okay!! i hope yours was great :)) love you too anon :DD you stay safe (im not uncomfortable its alright!!)

[rosenallies]

Prompt request. Nat’s preschool calls. She had a meltdown in the middle of class because she’s worried about synth who’s in the hospital

Ty for sending this in <33

——

Gia leaned against the counter, running a tired hand over their face, Kendall and Synthia looking over at them with concern, even Synthia who’d been out of it for days.

“Fuck,” they muttered, hanging up the phone, “that was Nat’s preschool. She’s having a meltdown.”

Synthia looked like he was about to try to get out of bed, despite all the wires attached to him. Kendall gently pushed him back down.

“Is she okay? What happened?”

“It’s probably because of me,” Synthia interjected, lip wobbling like he was about to cry.

Gia sighed. “She misses you. You’ve been in the ICU for a week.”

“I know,” Synthia sniffled, “trust me, I know.”

“Are you gonna go get her, Gi? I’ll stay here with Synth?”

“Yeah, I’ll FaceTime you guys when we get home, she’ll probably want to talk to you.”

“Drive safe,” Synthia reminded them as they gathered their things, “I love you.”

“I love you both too. I’ll talk to you in a bit, okay?”

Synthia nodded and watched as Gia left, trying to keep his emotions in.

“Baby,” Kendall soothed, sitting next to him on the bed, taking one of his frail hands, “it’ll be okay. Nat will be okay.”

“I just wanna see her, the doctors haven’t even mentioned moving me out of icu or even letting me go home, I just wanna go home,” he whimpered.

Kendall opened his mouth to speak and then quickly closed it, a thought coming to his mind. “Would you mind if I stepped out for a second, baby? I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” Synthia muttered, turning his attention back to the old tv mounted on the wall running reruns of some shitty sitcom.

Nodding, Kendall slipped out of the hospital room, flagging down one of the nurses at the nursing station. She was kind and warm and almost always ended up as Synthia’s nurse when he was in the ICU.

“Hey, um Brenda-“

She smiled warmly at him, looking up from the computer. “Is everything okay? Does your partner need anything?”

“Yeah, he’s okay, I just wanted to check and see if maybe you could do us a favor?”

Leaning in, she nodded. “Of course, what do you need?”

“I know kids aren’t allowed in here-“

“Sir, I really can’t break hospital rules,” she said sympathetically.

“I know, I know. Just this once, please. Our Natalie is so well behaved, our other partner had to go pick her up from preschool because she was so upset. It’ll only be for a little while, please.”

Nurse Brenda looked around, ensuring no one was listening. “I can’t give you permission to bring her in, but I won’t say anything as long as she stays in your room. The doctors have already made their rounds today so it should just be me coming in and out. I recommend taking her right to his room and closing the door, okay?”

Kendall sighed with relief. “Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to us.”

She smiled and nodded, turning her attention back to her charts.

Before heading back into the room, Kendall made a quick call to Gia, keeping it from Synthia as a surprise. He made casual idle conversation until a soft knock sounded at the door, Gia entering the room with Natalie pressed to their side.

“Someone wanted to come see you,” Gia said, closing the door behind them.

“Nat?” Synthia said in disbelief, “how did you guys? Is she allowed to be in here?”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Kendall chuckled, “technically no, but no one’s gonna tattle.”

Feeling choked up, Synthia mouthed ‘thank you’ to both of them before turning his attention to Natalie who was still pressed against Gia’s side, peering nervously behind their legs.

“Come here, Nat,” Synthia cooed, opening his arms for her to come snuggle.

“It’s okay, baby, you can go see dada,” Gia encouraged gently.

She looked up at them with big eyes, reaching up to be picked up. They scooped her up, kissing her cheek before settling her in Synthia’s lap, both of them smiling bigger than they had all week.

“I missed you so much, baby girl,” Synthia whispered into her hair, squeezing her as tight as his weak arms would allow.

“I missed you more, dada.”

Synthia sighed in contentment, resting his cheek on the top of her head as she snuggled close to him. He didn’t know when he would be able to go home, but having a little piece of home with him made him feel so much better, even if his body still ached and he was still needing iv fluids and nutrition. “Not possible, baby, not possible.”

[reyanfia]

hey fia! how are you? how is boarding school going? is everything going well? I miss you! I understand why you can't be here all the time so don't feel pressured or anything, I just wanted to let you know that I am always here! and please stay hydrated and safe!

— aggie, but in anon, cause I like the mystery!

aggie darling! I missed you so much!

boarding school was soooo boring. and tiring. this school is basically hogwarts but a bit smaller and no magic. the stairs are neverending. but I've made good friends! I think. I'm not sure whether I can fully trust them because, I've seen them talk crap about other girls SLSKS I don't think I'm left out of that. classes are okay! bad thing is mine is at the very top floor TT the dorms are clean and thankfully mine is at the ground floor, first room and first bed! love it.

school won't let me bring a phone (but we can bring ipads, except I don't have one) so I was pretty inactive. but I wanna spend my time here during my 2 week holiday!

i miss you! I hope we can talk again more during my free time <33 I love youuu!

[blairheron]

him

Hi,

Happy New Year to my sweetest and nicest boyfriend! There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t think about you, about us, about what we used to be. You brought out the happiness in me, a side I hadn’t seen so much of before. You were the best boyfriend I’ve ever had, the person I cared for more than anyone else in the world, and the one thing in life I was really proud of.

Wish for 2023 (here's to achieving big dreams and accomplishing goals together):

My UTBK score gets me into the PTN I want +++ your UTBK score gets you into STAN. All the sadness, exhaustion, confusion, and stress from 2022 will be worth it with the UTBK results. Yay, hope everything goes smoothly, Aamiin.

I want to date you; I want to spend the coming years with you.

I want to explore Surabaya once I become a new student at UNAIR hehe.

I want movie dates, picnic dates, museum dates.

I want photos wearing my UNAIR alma mater jacket + you in your STAN uniform/JAKUN. Yay, Aamiin, Allahumma Aamiin.

The wish list will continue as we go through 2023. Hehehe, this wish is for 2023 and the coming years, and can be edited later.

Thank you for loving me for who I am. Thank you for making me laugh and smile when I'm sad or having a bad day. I know I'm not the best, but I'll always be here for you if you let me. I wish I could spend my whole day under the sky watching the stars with you and doing other fun activities. Can we, please?

I'm not saying I'm in love with you, BUT I am. You make me soooo happy every time we talk. You mean everything to me. It feels amazing to have someone like you in my life. I haven't been doing well at all, but you make everything better. I wish I could really let you know how much I love and care about you. I need you to know that I would do anything to make sure you’re happy and safe. I appreciate everything you've done for me!! LOVE YOU, BEB.

Please stay by my side, okay? I don’t even know how to do life without you :(((

Wishing you 12 months of success, 52 weeks of laughter, 365 days of fun, 8,760 hours of joy, 525,600 minutes of good luck, and 31,536,000 seconds of happiness. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! <33

[inkykeiji]

how would tnii!Natsuo respond to being called pet names? i don’t think reader’s called him anything but his name or Natsuo-nii, and i’m just thinking about his reaction to being called something like “daddy” or even “niisan/niichan” in the heat of the moment👀

ooooh anon!! this is an interesting question!!

daddy he would be uncomfortable with, but niisan/niichan or any other cute pet name he’d absolutely love. however, any initial and instant glee that would blossom in his chest at such a sweet gesture would immediately be snuffed out by a heavy, intense guilt only a moment or two later. he knows his brother; he knows how special reader is to him, how special the honorific is to him, and it would feel wrong to be addressed by what has come to be known as touya’s term of endearment, even if it’s only in the heat of the moment. it would break him out of the scene, but he wouldn’t discuss it with her until later. touya tolerates the occasional natsuo-nii, but anything beyond that would upset him, which would in turn upset both natsuo and reader :( touya doesn’t mind natsuo playing with his baby when it has been explicitly approved by him, but pet names, especially niisan/niichan, would be crossing a line. he’s still extremely jealous and possessive of both of them.

it may seem absurd to some, that touya has no issue sharing his lover’s body with his brother as long as he asks for permission, but touya gets oddly protective over sentimentalities like that; to him, sex is just sex, but there’s something much more special in terms of endearment