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jihyuncompass · 4 years ago

Note

Okay but have you considered...Shaw fake dating au 👀. Or for a less hard mode, maybe some fluffy flower shop au hcs for Jihyun? mwah!

You know what Shark? Both of these ideas are so good I’m going to do both.

The Jihyun headcanons will be posted separately, but enjoy some maybe a little too long Shaw fake dating AU.

Also, shoutout to my wonderful friend @stehkotori for her excellent Shaw wisdom and general encouragement during this whole process. I couldn’t have done it without her.

Please Say Yes

Summary: After a wrench is thrown into the plans for your newest program, you ask a certain someone to help you. But maybe there’s more to the two of you than you thought.

Shaw x MC

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: Some cursing, Drinking, Alcohol Mentions

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“Hey boss?” Kiki said, sticking her head into the office. You tore your eyes away from the computer and looked up towards the office door. “I got some bad news.”

Your brow furrowed as you lifted your fingers from your keyboard. “What’s going on?” Kiki walked in and closed the door behind her.

“You know how the special couple’s program is getting filmed next week?” You recalled the proposal for that program, a challenge-based game show for couples to “test” their relationship. You’d liked the program idea, but it had been a pain to get Victor to approve the proposal. You were already cringing remembering the sheer amount of late nights the proposal required.

“Yeah I remember.” You said. “Why? Is everything okay?”

The way Kiki was rubbing her hands together wasn’t giving you much confidence. “One of the couples dropped out.” She said.

You tried to keep your jaw from dropping. Speaking carefully for your own sake. . “Why? What happened?”

Kiki sighed. “I guess she caught him cheating. They broke up a few days ago.” You set your pen back on your desk to cover your eyes with your hands.

“And we only found out now?”

“She just called me ten minutes ago. I guess she was too upset to remember to call.” Kiki frowned.

You groaned. “This is bad.” You whispered to yourself. “This is really bad.” Staring at your desk you tried to think of a solution. You needed that particular number of couples for the show, it was purposeful so you could have a good balance of personalities and relationships. As well as the challenges being built around the numbers. Now it was thrown off.

“Maybe we could find someone last minute? We could do a small last minute casting call?” Kiki suggested. You shook your head.

“The show starts taping in three days there’s not enough time.” You said, you weren’t about to call off the show because one couple dropped out. You couldn’t do that to the crew, not to mention how angry Victor would be about the wasted time and resources. You needed a solution and you needed one quick.

The gears in your head were quickly turning, this wasn’t a great situation, but maybe you could fix it.

“Boss?”

“Okay.” You sat up straight in your chair, you weren’t very confident in your plan, but it’s all you could think of right now. “I’ll step in for the missing couple.”

Kiki’s eyes widened. “You? But you aren’t dating anyone and we need a couple.”

“I’ll find someone, we’ll pretend to be a couple or something. At this point it doesn’t really matter.” You explained. “Let everyone know about the change in plans, I’ll let you know who’s coming with me.” Kiki nodded.

“You’re a savior boss!” Kiki said, turning on her heel to head back to her desk. Once the door closed you sighed loudly to yourself. Alright, now you just needed to find someone to do this with you, that shouldn’t be too hard. Right?

Wrong.

“This sucks.” You whispered to yourself. Throwing yourself down on your bed after work you pressed your face into your bedspread. The conversation from earlier was still echoing in your head.

You’d spent the rest of the day trying to think of who you could possibly ask to do this with you. Going through a mental list of every person you knew, and their likeliness of them saying yes.

At first you’d thought about asking Kiro, the two of you got along well and you’d think he’d go for the chance to spend a couple days with you. Except, he was also an international pop star and not only would Savin never allow it, but you didn’t really want to be harassed by an army of jealous Kiro fans online.

You then thought of Lucien, he’d always been kind enough to help you with programs in the past, but he was so busy you can’t imagine you’d be able to pull him away from his work to do this show. You also couldn’t really imagine his personality type on this time of program.

For a brief moment during a phone call earlier in the day you’d thought about asking Victor, however that idea was scrapped almost as soon as you thought of it. Victor was too high-profile for a show like this, on top of that he would never agree to pretend to date you for it. You’d have better luck getting a dead body to come on the show with you.

There was always Gavin but. Gavin was complicated.

On the other side of the bed your phone rang, breaking your train of thought. After a moment of groaning you pulled yourself up and propped yourself up on your elbows. “Hello?” You said, trying not to let the frustration in your mind seep into your words.

“What’s with that tone? Not happy to hear from me?” You held back another groan.

“No I’m just not in a great mood.” You started. On Shaw’s end you thought you could hear the sound of his skateboard on the pavement. “Are you calling me while skating right now?”

Shaw made a “humph” sound. “So what if I am? I’m smart enough not to hurt myself.” You still were convinced it was safe but you knew better than trying to argue with Shaw. That energy would be better spent on arguing with him on something important.

“Just be careful.” You said. “So, what do you need?”

“Why are you assuming I need something?” Shaw asked.

“Shaw you pretty much only call me to trick me into buying you dinner or to drag me along on whatever chaos you’ve decided on for that day.” You explained. Rolling onto your back you stared up at the ceiling.

From Shaw’s end it sounded like he had gotten off his board. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that the way to man’s heart is through his stomach?”

“Who ever said I was trying to get into your heart?”

“Just food for thought.” Shaw said. “Anyways, I’m on my way to yours right now. I’m in the mood for hotpot.”

You sat up, gasping at this boy’s audacity. “You are just trying to get me to buy you food!”

“I never said I wasn’t. I’ll be there in five, be ready for me.” The line went dead before you could shout at him. Finally allowing yourself to groan loudly you dragged yourself out of bed to at least put on a jacket and grab your keys and wallet.

Leaning against the wall of your apartment building you saw Shaw’s silhouette against the sunset. As expected he was racing down the sidewalk on his skateboard, when you met his eyes his lips pulled into his typical smirk.

“Waiting for me outside? Are you really that excited to see me?” Shaw said once he was close enough to be heard. You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“No! I just got ready quickly so I figured I’d get some fresh air!” You huffed. Despite your pout, Shaw’s smirk remained. “You said you wanted hotpot? There’s that place down the street. Let’s go there.” Shaw shrugged and held his board under his arm.

You sat across from Shaw. Between you the broth was boiling as Shaw added in the first hotpot ingredients. You propped your head up on your hand, like most evenings the post-work exhaustion had hit and you could already feel yourself fading and your eyes slipping closed. .

“Hey!” Shaw snapped his fingers in front of your face. “Stop daydreaming. Don’t waste your time with me like that.” You blinked a few times and looked back up to face him.

You sat up straighter to try and break out of your train of thought. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

Shaw squinted at you. “What’s with you today? You’re acting dumber than usual.” You almost wanted to throw some sarcastic comment back at him. Instead you just ended up sighing,

“Work stuff. Doesn’t matter.” You said leaning forward to look at the hotpot Shaw was checking on.

You needed this show to happen, you’d worked so hard to get it set up and figured out. You couldn’t let it fall apart because of this. Still, you needed someone, and you were running out of time. At this point you were about to call Minor and beg him to come with you.

After watching the pot for a long while your eyes fluttered up to look at Shaw. He was so focused on the food that he didn’t even seem to notice you looking at him. Watching him toss some more veggies into the pot your mind seemed to pause for a moment. A strange thought going through your mind.

“Hey Shaw.” You started.

“What?”

“I need to ask you something, and I need you to hear me out.” You said. Shaw looked back up at you now. “So there’s this show my company is filming next week.” You started

Shaw furrowed his brow. “What does this have to do with me?” You shot him a glare.

“I said hear me out!” You exclaimed. “It's a challenge based game show. A bunch of couples are going to have to undergo challenges to see how strong either relationship really is.” Shaw was staring at you, like he was waiting for you to get to the point. “Last second we had one of the couples drop out and so I need-”

Shaw rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to go on your show.” He said. “Besides, you said this is for couples. I’m not dating anyone.”

You leaned forward. “I wasn’t finished.” Shaw went back to stirring the hotpot shaking his head. “I would try and find a real couple, but filming starts on Monday and it’s already Friday night. I already offered to go on the show, I just need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.” Shaw kept eyeing you.

“So you want me to be your fake boyfriend?” You nodded. “Why me?” He asked. “Why not ask your beloved Officer Gavin or something. You know he'd say yes in a heartbeat” Shaw explained dropping more vegetables into the pot. You anxiously rubbed your hands together.

“I know he would. But-” You started. Staring at the bubbling pot as you bit your bottom lip. “I care about Gavin. A lot, he’s a kind and wonderful guy but…” Shaw raised an eyebrow. “I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. I just see him as a friend and I don’t want him to get confused.” You said, glancing up you looked back at Shaw’s face.

You sat in silence as the hotpot cooked. You waited for Shaw to say something, look at you, anything. After a while you shook your head. “I shouldn’t have asked, forget it.” Shaw looked back up to you.

“Hey I never said I wouldn’t do it.” Shaw said.

“You weren’t saying anything!”

“I was thinking.” Shaw said and leaned back in his seat. “What’s in this for me?”

You were almost prepared for this. You sat up straighter in your seat, Shaw could be a hard sell, but he actually might be a perfect choice. His personality would add a lot of flavor to the show.

“First of all, it’s all expenses paid. Food, boarding, all of it, plus all the cast members do get compensated.” Shaw still didn’t seem convinced, he was almost worse than Victor, at least with Victor you could usually tell right away when he hated your proposals. “You’d get to be on TV of course-” Also no reaction, but the more you talked the more you wanted to convince him. “You’ll get to mess with me the whole time, and I’ll owe you big time.”

Shaw was still silent, as he dipped strips of meat into the broth to cook. “The show sounds kinda dumb.”

Balling your hands into fists you bit back the urge to get angry. “If you don’t want to do it you can just say no.” Ignoring you, Shaw pulled out his phone, you couldn’t see the screen but as he turned it towards him you thought you saw a text message flash across the screen.

A smirk pulled across Shaw’s lips. “Well today's your lucky day.” Shaw set his phone aside as your brow raised. “Sounds like Adam ate shit and sprained his wrist. Our performance this weekend is cancelled.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’ll live.” Shaw said. “Guess I could do this silly little show of yours.”

“You’ll do it?”

“Well I don’t have any other plans so why not, Jensen’s already elected to cancel the show.” Shaw said. You wanted to jump out and cheer. The show was going to go on, you had a replacement now. This was going to be okay, everything was going to be okay.

From the other side of the table Shaw was watching you, his eyebrow raised in confusion by your excitement. You didn’t even care that he was judging you with this gaze, you were far too happy to try and defend yourself.

With a subtle shake of his head, Shaw dropped the noodles into the pot, glancing back up at you he tried to hide the smirk on his face.

This was bound to be interesting.

--------------------------

You’d told Shaw you’d pick him up in the morning to take him to the filming location. Sitting in your car you waited for him to show up, you were more than familiar with his history of being late but of all days today was the one day you absolutely didn’t want him to be.

Tapping your fingers against the steering wheel you considered calling him. Telling him to get a move on, you couldn’t be late. Especially since you’re supposed to be on the show too.

Biting your nails you tried to think of when he could come out. Your eye on the clock you tried to think of how long it would take to get there, you couldn’t be late to your own show. Staring at the clock you didn’t even notice the movement in the corner of your eye.

“Oi!” You turned towards the passenger side window. Shaw was tapping his finger against the window leaning down so his face was level with yours in the car. You gave him a look.

“What?” You shouted so he could hear you. Shaw rolled his eyes, he made a show of

trying to open the car door to no avail. Your face turned beet red and you unlocked the door for him. Shaw plopped himself down in the passenger seat. Tossing a backpack into the backseat.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize it was locked.” You said.

“Do you usually keep it unlocked?” Shaw asked with a glare in your direction.

“No!” You insisted while you rolled your eyes.

“You shouldn’t, only an idiot would keep their doors unlocked for any stranger to get in.” Shaw said, pulling the seat belt over his chest. You wanted to try and get back at him, say something,but instead you just rolled your eyes.

Shaw turned up the radio, he flipped through radio stations until he seemed to settle on something he liked. You kept mostly silent, conversations with Shaw usually came fairly naturally. He didn’t usually seem to have any issues when it came to finding something to talk about.

“We should probably have a story right?” Shaw said about ten minutes into the drive. His voice threw you off for a moment, your gaze turning back to him.

“Story?”

“For the show?” Shaw asked like it was supposed to be obvious.

“Oh!” You said, your cheeks burned a bit. Of course he’s thinking about the show right now. “You’re right we probably should. They’re going to ask us how we met.” You focused on the road, but shot a few quick glances at Shaw. “So, what should our story be?”

Shaw thought for a second, “We met on a bus. It’s not a lie.”

“That’s not a good story though.” You said. “It needs to be more interesting than that!” Shaw rolled his eyes. You fell into silence again as you tried to think of a story. Something believable but also interesting enough for the show.

“Maybe…” You said. “We met at a show at Live House. I went to blow off steam after work, you were there because you’re always there.” Shaw looked like he wanted to interject but you stopped him. “We met at the show and started talking, and that’s how we got together.”

Shaw tapped his fingers against the car door in rhythm with the music. “Seems believable enough.”

Together you ran over the details a few more times, making sure you both were clear on the story you would tell the cameras. Once you were both sure and rehearsed the car fell back into silence. You focused on the road while Shaw hummed along to the music on the radio. You knew his voice was good, you’d heard him perform in his band more than once. Still the warm tones of his voice drew you in. You were nearly forcing yourself to breathe silently so you could hear him better. You didn’t dare interrupt him, and he continued for the rest of the trip.

Once you’d pulled into the set you sat in the car for a moment. The closer you had gotten to set the more a knot started to grow in your stomach. You’d produced dozens of shows by this point but there was something different about actually being in the show this time. Knowing you’d have to be on camera made you feel much more nervous. Chewing on the inside of your lip you stared off into the distance, your gaze not fixating on anything in particular. Maybe offering to go on the show was a bad idea, maybe you should have just tried to find someone else to do this show. It’s too late though, you can’t back out now. You already dragged Shaw all the way here and into your mess.

In the passenger seat Shaw stopped his humming, you hadn’t even noticed until his voice was cutting into your thoughts.

“Weren’t you saying we were late shouldn’t we-” Shaw started. You tried to take a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Shaw started to talk again, “Hey.” He said, his voice a little softer than his usual tone, you felt his warm hand rest on your shoulder. “Breathe. In for four seconds.” You didn’t have time to question him and followed his instructions. Closing your eyes you took a deep breath in. “Hold it.” He said after the four seconds were finished, you held your breath and kept your eyes closed. After about seven more seconds the grip on your shoulder loosened. “Exhale for eight.” Nodding you followed his instruction and exhaled.

When you finished Shaw’s hand on your shoulder tightened again. “Do it again.” He said, nodding you took the breath in for four and held it for seven, then another long breath out. You did this five more times. Until the tension in your shoulders released and you could think clearly again.

After a little while longer you let out a sigh. Shaw’s hand left your shoulder. You looked over at Shaw in the passenger seat.

“Thank you. I’m sorry for that.” You said. Beside you Shaw shrugged.

“Just remember to breathe and you’ll be fine.” Shaw said.

Pulling the key out of the ignition you took another deep breath. “How did you know how to do that?” You asked him.

Shaw reached into the backseat to grab his backpack. “It’s just a simple breathing exercise. It’s not rocket science.” Shaw looked out the window.

Taking in the set one more time from a distance you unlocked the doors. You and Shaw both shut the car doors. Standing next to you, Shaw elbowed you. “Are we waiting for something?”

After shaking your head you walked together into a set where production assistants rushed around to set things up. You recognized a few of the other couples from casting a few weeks ago. As you walked onto set, some people seemed to recognize you, waving at you when they saw you. You waved back greeting people as you passed.

Shaw mostly kept quiet as you greeted everyone, you noticed the way people would look at him. Even if he wasn’t speaking much there was still something striking about him. Maybe it was the lavender colored hair he swore was natural, or the little slits in one of his eyebrows. Or maybe it was that presence that Shaw had. A presence that demanded attention, something about him that just drew people towards him. At least to look at him.

Eventually the two of you settled into standing in a circle with some of the couples who were going to be on the show. All chattering excitedly with each other.

“I wonder what kinds of challenges they’re going to have us do.” One person asked. The others talked amongst themselves. You already knew what challenges were set up for the show. However you also didn’t want to let them in on the challenges. You held your tongue so not to say anything.

“Maybe it’ll be like the newlywed game?” Another person suggested.

“That seems a little generic.” A third person said. Shaw eyed you out of the corner of his eye. He obviously knew that you knew what the challenges would look like, still you didn’t say a word.

They discussed some of the other possible challenges. Some of their ideas were close to the truth or quite far off, still you kept quiet. You noticed that Shaw wasn’t throwing his own thoughts into the conversation. Right now, he almost seemed content to just listen right now.

Eventually the conversation shifted to how all the couples had met, around the circle of people couples started to tell their stories. Some met at work, one couple were high school sweethearts, another couple had met on a dating app, eventually every couple had told their story until it was just You and Shaw left.

The woman next to you turned towards you. “How about you two? You’ve been awfully quiet.” You looked at Shaw, who was smirking at you. You cleared your throat and rubbed the back of your neck.

“We met at a concert.” You said. “I went to see this local band I was a big fan of and-”

“I’m the bassist of the band.” Shaw interjected, you glared at him. He was actually going to alter the story? Right now? You attempted not to let your shock shine through, but the way Shaw was smirking he clearly recognized your surprise. “They had gotten themself into the front row. They kept staring at me the entire time I was on stage.” Shaw explained.

You pressed your lips together then continued the story after Shaw took a pause. “To be fair he kept staring at me too. He was constantly trying to get my attention.” Shaw’s trademarked smile didn’t falter. “Then, after the show he kept trying to get me to come backstage to talk to him.” You continued. You opened your mouth to try and say more but Shaw stopped you.

“Well babe it didn’t take much to get you to agree.” Shaw said leaning closer towards you. You tried not to let the newfound flush in your face show. “We went backstage and they just kept talking about how much they loved the band and how well I performed.” You held yourself back from hitting him. He was really determined to make you sound ridiculous.

“I am a pretty big fan so of course I was pretty excited to get to talk to him.” You explained. “We talked for a few hours and by the end of the night he was practically begging to come home with me.” This time, Shaw’s smile tightened. If he was going to make you sound ridiculous, you were going to make him sound just as silly. “I didn’t want to rush things so I gave him my number instead.”

Shaw put his arm around your shoulder pulling you close to him. He’s really trying to sell this act. “I of course accepted their number, but they just kept texting me ya’know.”

“So were you babe.” You shot back. “We were talking constantly, and he constantly asked me out to dinner for weeks.”

“Well I managed to wear you down eventually.” Shaw pulled you close again. “The rest is history.” Shaw finished. The circle seemed to be invested in your story. You hoped it sounded realistic enough to them, and based on their expressions. It must have been.

The woman who originally asked you grinned. “That’s such a cute story! And you both look so good together” She said. You thanked her. The red in your face was getting worse. As you stood here you became almost painfully aware of Shaw’s arm around your waist.

The group continued on their stories and conversations. You jumped in from time to time but didn’t still try to give away more details about you and Shaw’s fake relationship. The original story was already starting to fall apart, so you didn’t want to big yourself a hole so deep the two of you can’t explain your way out of it.

Behind you one of the production assistants shouted towards the group to get everyone’s attention. “Alright! We’re going to start shooting here pretty soon. Make yourselves pretty, eat something whatever you need to do!” Everyone nodded and gave a thumbs up to the production assistants. The couples started to peel away from the circle to get themselves ready.

“Aren’t you going to get ready?” Shaw asked.

“I am ready.” You said. Shaw looked you up and down twice. You crossed your arms over your chest. “I got ready before I got here. What about you?”

“What about me?” Shaw said, his smile turning more into a smirk. “I’ve never looked better.” You wanted to throw something at him, but instead you just took a long, stressed breath. Shaw’s arm dropped from your waist and leaned against the wall. Shaw shoved his hands into his jacket’s pockets.

You left Shaw on his own for a little while while you talked with the production team. They gave you their estimated itinerary and a general run down on how things have been going so far production wise. While you talked with them you noticed Shaw out of the corner of your eye, still watching you. His gaze never leaving your direction.

The director gathered everyone into a circle to explain the plan for the day. The shoot would take place over two days, with the cast and crew staying in a hotel not far from the shooting location.

“Alright.” The director started. “Here’s the game plan everyone. The first thing we’ll be

doing are introductory interviews. We’ll ask you a few questions about your histories and relationship. After that they’ll get started on the first challenge, any questions?” The whole cast glanced back and forth at one another.

The director answered a few questions but kept it brief. As he finished up, members of the production team started pulling couples aside for their interviews.

You and Shaw were called up second to last for your first interview.

“You’re fidgeting.” Shaw said as you got into your places. You curled your hands into little fists so they would stop playing with your clothes. You avoided showing your annoyance at him. After all, you were supposed to be acting as a couple.

The director sat up straight in his chair. “Alright you two are you ready?” You nodded, making one last check to make sure your hair looked alright. Beside you Shaw removed his hands from his pockets. He seemed rather casual about this, unlike yourself.

“We’re ready.” Shaw said. You took one last long breath before trying to put on your best on camera expression. Shaw on the other hand, looked completely unbothered as the crew finished setting up the audio and lights.

You watched as the director called for silence on the set. You tried to fight your shaking hands, your stage fright worse than you expected.

Shaw seemed to notice your anxiety, beside you, you heard him click his tongue. You were about to say something when Shaw took your shaking hand in his. Holding it tight. From the corner of your eye you tried to get a glimpse at Shaw’s expression. His face was the same slightly amused but fairly serious expression as always.

“Action!” The director called. You put a smile on for the camera and squeezed Shaw’s hand still holding yours.

“So-” The show’s host began. “Tell us about yourselves.”

The introductory interview went as well as it could have. You repeated the same story you’d decided on while you were on the way there. Shaw spoke with a confidence that surprised you. It reminded you of the way he looks when he performs on stage. Confident and self assured, maybe a little bit cocky, but mostly charismatic.

On the other hand you weren’t so confident in your performance. Multiple times you had to stop yourself from stuttering or getting panicked. Still, you managed to get through it. And once the director said you were finished you sighed deeply in relief. Once the director said cut. Shaw let go of your hand to shove it back into his jacket pocket, and while it took a while to notice, you felt a bit empty without him.

The rest of the day was just filming the show, doing games and challenges. Interspersed with more short interviews. Time seemed to move quickly, you hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed until the sun had started to go down and you realized how your body was aching. Throughout the final challenge you were fighting to keep yourself standing despite your aching legs and headache blooming behind your eyes.

When the director called for the end of the night you really realized just how heavy your body was. Beside you Shaw seemed fine, near the end of the night he did seem to be moving a bit slower but he didn’t seem as tired, or as drained as you were.

You dragged yourself back to the car, the thought of a warm dinner and comfortable bed propelling you forward. Shaw beside you didn’t seem to be struggling nearly as much.

“Why are you walking so slow?” Shaw asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

You frowned. “I’m tired. I’ve been on my feet all day.” Shaw’s expression didn’t change. You stopped in front of your car and sighed, your eyes were starting to feel heavy and your body felt like you could collapse at any moment.

Going through your bag you tried to find your keys. Shaw watched you with his typical somewhat judgemental gaze. Once you felt the keyring between your fingers you pulled the keys from your bag with a short sigh of relief.

But before you could unlock the car doors Shaw plucked the keys from your hand. You shot him a glare.

“Hey!” You started.

“You look like a dead man walking.” Shaw said. “You’ll kill us both.” Shaw slid into the driver seat. You opened and shut your mouth again, and after a moment of disbelief you sighed and got into the passenger’s seat.

“Do you need directions to the hotel?” You asked while you settled into your seat. Shaw turned the car on, pulling it into reverse.

“I’m hungry, let’s get food first.” Shaw said, turning to watch behind him as he backed out.

“The company is covering room service for everyone. We can just eat at the hotel.” You explained.

“Nah.” Shaw said. “I want to go somewhere else.”

“Do you know the area at all?”

“Nope.” The car pulled out of the parking spot, Shaw turned back to sit against the seat of the car. You wanted to argue with him, but you were too tired and knew better than arguing with him when you could hardly think straight.

You let your eyes slip closed while he drove. Shaw turned the radio on, but kept the volume low for you to rest. With your cheek pressed against the cool car window, your eyes opened from time to time to check on your surroundings.

Sneaking a glance at Shaw he was completely focused on the road. His face was blank and concentrated. You decided to trust him that he knew what he was doing, and that he wasn’t going to be crashing your car.

You were roused from your dozing when you felt the car stop. Opening your eyes, the car was stopped in front of a small takeout restaurant, a few people lingering in front.

Shaw glanced over at you. “Awake now?” He jeered.

“What is this place?” You asked as you looked back at the small building hardly larger than a food truck.

“It’s food.” Shaw said.

“Do you know if it’s any good?”

Shaw sighed loudly. “So many questions.” Pressing your lips together into a fine line you fought back the urge to argue with him. “Come on.” Shaw got out of the car and shut the door behind me. After taking a moment to collect yourself you got out and followed Shaw towards the building.

Once you’d gotten your food you both sat down at a picnic table a little ways away from the restaurant. You both dug into your food with no delay, after a long day of filming it seemed the two of you were both hungrier than you’d let on.

You watched Shaw while you ate. Something in you couldn’t help it, being around Shaw you always felt somewhat disoriented. You could rarely figure out what he was thinking, or even how he was really feeling. He always knew what to say to push your buttons, to make your face red and want to shout. Still, you found yourself spending more and more time with him, even if just to watch him. Seeing the small changes in his expressions, or the glint he got in his eye when he seemed amused or excited about something. How despite his facial expression you could always tell there was thoughts and emotions hidden under the surface that he would likely never share with you or anyone for that matter.

“Why are you staring at me?” Shaw asked, you blinked and cleared your throat. You hadn’t realized how long you were looking at him.

You looked down at the table and ignored the flush in your cheeks. “Sorry, I was just a little lost in thought.” You pushed some of the food around and took a few small bites. Now Shaw watched you while you tried to focus on your meal in front of you. You wondered what could possibly be going through his mind as he eyed you. The slightest bit of amusement in his eyes, his lips turned up in his signature teasing smile.

“Shaw, can I ask you something?” You asked. Shaw raised a slit eyebrow. “Why did you agree to do this show with me? I know it’s not something you’d normally be interested in.”

His smile shifted into a more neutral expression as he spoke. “I thought it could be entertaining.” Shaw said. “Besides, I didn’t have anything else to do so why not.”

“Because your gig was cancelled?” You asked.

Shaw didn’t meet your eyes, running a hand through his hair to push it from his eyes. “Yeah.” Although his answer was short, you had a feeling that it wasn’t the whole truth. That there as something else there. The issue was if you should push it or not.

“Can I ask you another question?”

Shaw looked you in the eyes, like he was trying to read your intentions. “What?”

“Why do you like being around me?” You asked. Shaw’s expression was still like stone. “You’re always messing with me, making fun of me, making me run around in circles. Why?”

He seemed to pick his answer carefully. He kept his expression guarded, yet you had a strange feeling looking at him. “It’s simple. You’re entertaining to watch.” Shaw said.

“That’s it? I’m like a TV show for you?” You said, despite the simplicity of his answer you felt almost a little, disappointed? His answer was simple, yet somehow you hoped he’d say more.

Shaw seemed to pick up on your disappointment. “Why do you look so upset? It makes you look uglier.”

Trying to keep yourself calm you held your breath. You didn’t want to lose your temper with him and yet you could feel the dam starting to crack. “I’m really just entertainment for you? Or someone to buy you hotpot when you’re hungry?”

Shaw smirked. “I like when you buy me cola too.”

“That’s not the point!” You insisted. “Am I someone important to you?”

The smirk on Shaw’s face fell, replaced with a slight frown. “Does it matter?”

“Is it wrong for me to want to know what you think of me?”

“It doesn’t matter. My opinion of you is meaningless.” Shaw said and took another bite. You pressed your lips together, again an odd feeling of disappointment took over again. Still you couldn’t quite determine why you felt that way.

You stared down at the table. “Well.” You started. “For the record. You’re someone important to me.” You said.

Shaw was quiet, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to look up at him. To see what his expression was. You rubbed your hands together, remembering the warmth of Shaw’s hand when he held yours during the first interview.

The silence lasted for quite a while. Your eyes stared focused on the table, avoiding Shaw’s eyes. Your heart felt like a jackhammer in your chest and no matter what you couldn’t seem to get it to slow down.

“I’m important to you?” Shaw said, his voice just hardly above a whisper. There was a quality in his voice, something that sounded almost vulnerable. Something that you’d never heard from him before.

Still, you kept your head down. “You are.” You spoke in a matching quiet tone. “You’re someone I care about. I don’t always understand you, but I want to.” You kept your clammy hands clasped together tightly, and your head bowed. Your appetite left as you sat there with the tension to thick you could cut through it.

After gathering your courage your eyes lifted to see Shaw’s face. He wasn’t looking at you, his eyes seemed focused somewhere else. His face was devoid of emotion, yet in his eyes you could catch some of that vulnerability.

“Shaw?” You asked. He didn’t answer you, staring into the middle distance. Your gaze fell to Shaw's hand, resting on the table. Watching him you remembered how warm his hand had been when he held it. How it seemed to calm you when you felt overwhelmed.

Moving slowly you took Shaw’s hand in yours. Shaw’s eyes broke from their trance to look at your hand. You tried to figure out what he was thinking, as you watched him the vulnerability in his eyes switched to what looked like panic, then a moment later. His expression closed off again into his usual neutral expression.

“You like holding my hand huh?” Shaw said, his voice also returning to its usual teasing tone. You glared at him then let the tension in your shoulder relax.

“If you don't like it you can tell me.” You snapped back.

Shaw’s lips curled into his classic smirk. “It’s not the worst.” He pushed the last bites of his food to the side with his other hand. “But your hand is all sweaty.”

You ‘humphed’ and tried to pull your hand away, but as you tried Shaw’s hand tightened around yours keeping you there. Once you realized that he didn’t want to let go of your hand you stopped pulling away. Letting his hand hold yours. Still, you did try and avoid his gaze. Something about the way his eyes seemed to pierce you managed to make your heart nearly stop.

“Are you done?” Shaw asked after some more time.

“Huh?” You looked back at him.

“With your food?” He said as if it was obvious. The tips of your ears turned red as you realized.

“Oh.” You looked down at the table. “Yeah I’m done.” Shaw’s hand left yours as he gathered up the trash from the table to throw it away. After you watched him for a while you got up from the table too. Your heart was still racing in your chest, though it wasn’t nearly as bad as before.

Shaw didn’t seem to mention or regard the moment that had just occurred. He threw away the trash and the two of you walked back to the car. You walked a bit behind him, your hand feeling cold without his. Clutching your hands together you tried to replicate that warmth, mostly to no avail.

This time you took the wheel to drive back to the hotel. Shaw leaned against the passenger seat and fiddled with the radio. You kept driving despite your heavy eyes, you could already imagine crawling under the bed covers to get some sleep.

------------------------

An unfortunate part of having Shaw be your fake date was needing to share a hotel room. You’d managed to quickly switch room types so there’d be two beds still. Sharing with him was far from ideal.

The feeling of crawling into bed was almost euphoric. The cool sheets and heavy comforter practically forced your eyes shut. You hardly cared for your surroundings as Shaw flipped through television channels. As you laid there you listened to his movements, constantly aware of his place in the room.

Being there your mind kept wandering back to that table where you ate dinner. The way you felt sitting there, with your hands clammy and heart racing. How strangely disappointed you’d felt when Shaw didn’t tell you what he was thinking. Then the vulnerability he showed for just that short moment. Why did he make you feel that way. Why did you care so much?

However, you fell asleep, before you could find your answer.

------------------------

When you woke up in the morning, your body was still heavy with sleep. At the sound of the alarm you and Shaw had both dragged yourselves out of bed to get ready for the second day of the film shoot.

The drive to the set consisted mostly of the two of you desperately downing cups of coffee to prepare for the day, hoping that maybe with enough coffee your leftover exhaustion would dissipate. With not much success unfortunately.

The second day of filing was much longer than the first day, and with the preparation from the day before everyone seemed to be moving much faster than it had the day before. By the time the two of you were on set, production assistants were moving everyone around to prepare for the first part of the day.

Even with the long shoot day time seemed to move quickly. The challenges moved quickly and you could barely process the passage of time until you were nearly the end of the day.

Before you knew it you were wrapping up and doing the final interviews. You stood in the same place you had the day before for the introductory interviews. Still with Shaw standing by your side and getting into the right position.

Yesterday you’d felt panicked doing that first interview. Today, your exhaustion seemed to override your anxiety and stage fright. As they prepared the cameras to shoot your hand felt cold again. Just like it had many times over the past two days.

“You two ready?” The director asked. Your head snapped up to acknowledge the director’s question.

“I’m ready.” Shaw said.

“Me too.” You said, clearing your throat. The director nodded then began the final interview. You answered the question and tried to ignore the voice in your head that told you to take Shaw’s hand again. As much as you wanted to, you clasped your hands together, desperate to ignore that voice that seemed to only get louder.

The shoot ended as the sun was going down. The last few rays of light still peaked over the horizon as the crew packed everything up and said their goodbyes.

The final remnants of daylight faded on the drive home. Your eyes kept falling shut but you forced them open as you drove the car. In the passenger seat Shaw stared out the window. He must have been feeling tired as well because he wasn’t talking as much as he usually would.

“Thank you.” You said as you stopped to drop Shaw off. “Thank you, again. For doing the show, I know it probably wasn’t your ideal way to spend your weekend but I hope maybe it was a little fun?”

“It was fine.” Shaw said. “It was pretty entertaining to watch you try so hard.”

“Well I wanted to give it a fair shot!” You explained. “But you did pretty good. I was really impressed.”

Shaw smirked. “I put effort into all the things I do. Even dumb things like that show.”

“Don’t you skip class like, constantly?”

“Sure but I still have top grades and an academic scholarship.” Shaw said. “Work smarter not harder.”

“Regardless.” You said to change the topic. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would have done without you, and I owe you. Big time.”

Shaw reached into the backseat to grab his bag. Sliding out of the passenger side door he leaned down to meet your eyes through the window. His gaze held that usual teasing tone of his, but this time something about that look was making your heart race.

“Well, I’ll keep in touch. Gotta get that big favor from you.” Shaw teased.

“Goodnight Shaw.” You said, fighting past your racing heart.

“Goodnight babe.” Shaw said. Your heart felt like it could break your ribs with how hard it beat, your cheeks and tips of your ears turning bright pink as he laughed and turned to walk away. Leaving you alone in your flustered state.

You drove away, your face bright red.

“That brat.” You hissed under your breath.

------------------------

You got a short day to rest after the shoot before returning to work. After that you went back to the office to get through the work that had started to pile up while you were preoccupied with the couple’s program. You had new proposals to write, other ones to flesh out and rework at the risk of another lecture and possible rejection from Victor.

The next week or so went past with little word from Shaw. You’d texted back and forth a few times. Mostly you giving him updates on the editing for the program, or him sending you some slightly teasing and maybe a little insulting jabs. Nothing out of the ordinary for the two of you.

Yet, with every message you reacted differently to how you would have before. A month ago, those messages would have annoyed you. Make you a bit frustrated before moving on with your day. Maybe trying to think of ways to tease him back for what he’s said.

Now though, it wasn’t like that. Every notification from him made your heart jump into your throat, every tease made you feel more flustered, the jabs even hurt at times. In a way they hadn’t before. When you responded you wanted to make him laugh, or maybe even say something nice.

You wanted him to like you.

The one thing you couldn’t figure out was when these feelings had started to change. When you started to care so much, when he started to mean so much to you. Had the change happened while you were filming the show? Maybe it was when you sat at that table eating dinner together, or maybe when he held your hand during that first interview.

Maybe you realized it subconsciously even before the shoot. Maybe you started to realize how you felt when you first asked him to be on the show. Even if you couldn’t quite place when you fell, it started to weigh heavier and heavier on your mind.

Fridays were the hardest day of the week in your opinion. Somehow they managed to be even more difficult than Mondays. You could see the weekend in sight and yet it was still so far away. The exhaustion of the week was starting to weigh on your shoulders. You’d already planned on spending most of your weekend resting and recovering. You had takeout menus set out and some television to catch up on.

Staring at the clock you watched the later hours of the afternoon tick by. The piles of proposals and unread emails felt like they were staring you in the face.

Your text chime threw you from your thoughts. Your eyes turned away from the brightness of your computer monitor. Pushing your desk chair away from your desk you leaned back and checked your phone.

Shaw: Oi. Are you working late tonight?

MC: I better not be.

Shaw: Good, come to the Live House tonight

You stared at the screen. Your tired eyes and end of the week exhaustion told you that you should just go home and sleep. Then, there was the other part of you, the part that felt excited about getting to see Shaw, and getting to spend time with him again. Even if he just ended up teasing you all night.

MC: I’ll go but I don’t know how long I can stay

Shaw: I’ll tell you when you can go home

Shaw: Meet me at 7. Isolated is performing tonight

MC: I’ll see you there.

There was just barely enough time for you to change clothes at home before you had to head out towards the Live House. You put on some more casual clothes, better suited for going out to a rock club rather than an office.

The evening air was cool against your skin. A light breeze blowing and rustling the tree branches. You walked down the sidewalk, passing others on their way to their Friday plans as you walked towards yours.

It didn’t take long to get into Live House. You got there early enough that a line hadn’t quite formed yet. Inside, loud rock music played over the speakers, you watched staff setting up amps and microphones for Isolated’s later performance. A sizable crowd of people was already starting to grow. With patrons first flocking towards the bar to start drinking before the show starts.

You pushed through the growing crowd of people to get to the bar. After managing to squeeze into the front of the bar you quickly tried to flag down a bartender.

You ordered your drink quickly to try and get out from the group flocking towards the bar. Your fingers tapped against the wood anxiously until the bartender slid your drink across the bar. Once the cup was in your hand you got out of the crowd quickly circling in on the bar.

Checking the time you leaned against the wall, there was still a few minutes before the performance started. You watched as people wandered around the venue, groups of people chatting together, others dancing along to the music playing over the speakers.

Sipping your drink you pulled out your phone. You’d hoped that maybe Shaw had texted you, even just to see if you had actually decided to come. After checking your messages and finding nothing, and after a long sip of your drink you sent Shaw a quick message.

MC: I’m at Live House, break a leg out there!

Nursing your drink you kept checking your phone for a response. Still as the time got closer to the show time you started to doubt that he would respond before he went on stage. Finishing your drink you shoved your phone back into your bag.

You pushed yourself through the thickening crowd near the front of the stage, and with some careful pushing and squeezing you finally managed to get into the front.

The moment Shaw was on stage your eyes were locked onto him. At first he didn’t notice you, getting himself positioned for the performance to start. It wasn’t until his bass was in his hands that his eyes swept across the venue, his eyes finally stopping when he saw you. His lips curled up into a smile, and as your eyes met his you smiled back, raising your hand to give him the smallest of waves. His expression shifted to a look you hadn’t quite seen before, he looked happy but also like was trying to hide it.

At the front of the stage Jensen introduced the band, the roar of the crowd breaking you from your trance. Your eyes quickly took in the rest of the stage, within a few moments of introducing the band they started the first song.

You nodded your head along with the music. This wasn’t the first time you’d heard this song, still your heart raced like it was the first time. You watched the band as they performed, Jensen singing the lyrics with a passion and intensity you could only get from a live performance.

While you did watch the band your eyes kept falling on Shaw as he played. Watching him perform was like nothing else. It was almost like he was a different person when he was up on stage with his bass. His guarded smirks melted away, his defenses seemed to come down, although he wasn’t really smiling up on stage he looked happier than you had almost ever seen him. Your eyes couldn’t move away from him, focused on his expression and the carefree way he moved and harmonized with Jensen’s voice.

You could hear your pulse in your ears, unable to keep yourself from moving to the music but your eyes never moving away from Shaw, watching him perform the world seemed to disappear around you, leaving only him in your vision.

Time had completely escaped you until the band was finishing their final song in the set. The crowd cheered loudly around you as they finished their final song.

Shaw, upon strumming his final note lifted his gaze to meet yours once again. His carefree expression looking straight at your excited and starry eyed face. He shot you a signature grin for a moment before his gaze was turned away to focus back on the band, although your eyes never left him until he left the stage.

Twenty minutes after Isolated finished their set, you noticed Adam and Jensen approaching the bar. Waving to you once they noticed you standing there.

“Hey! I thought I saw you in the crowd.” Jensen said, stopping when he was standing beside you.

“I was in the front.” You said. “You all did a great job out there.”

“Thanks, I think the crowd had a good energy tonight” Adam said.

A memory of what Shaw had said a few weeks ago flashed through your mind. “Oh Adam how’s your wrist? Is it better?”

Adam looked at you confused. “My wrist?”

“Yeah?” Your brows furrowed. “Shaw told me you sprained your wrist, which is why you had to cancel the show the other week.”

Jensen and Adam exchanged a look. “We didn’t cancel the performance. Shaw did.”

You blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“He texted us a few days before the performance and said he couldn’t come. Something else came up I guess? He wouldn’t tell us. It was really weird though, even for him.” Jensen said.

You stood in surprise for a moment or two, taking in what they had just told you.

“Shaw’s a strange guy. It’s water under the bridge now, it’s not like we’ve haven’t had to cancel performances last minute before.” Adam shrugged. You nodded with them, although your mind still stuck on what they had said.

Once they’d gotten their drinks Adam and Jensen slipped into the rest of the crowd away from the bar. Leaving you alone again for a few moments.

Shaw had made up the story about Adam being hurt. All so he could be on the show with you? Even though he’d pretended not to care? You thought of the way your cheeks burned when he sent you texts, or how sad you felt when he let go of your hand, or how you couldn’t take your eyes off of him during the show. How somehow he’d managed to take over your mind.

Your mind replayed that scene at the hotpot restaurant when you’d asked him over and over. The way you wanted to convince him to agree so badly. Had that all really been for the sake of the show? You could have found someone else, you could have convinced Minor, or bit the bullet and asked Gavin. But you didn’t, you wanted him.

“There ya are.” Shaw said sliding in to stand beside you. You slid a glass over to him to a raised brow from Shaw.

“I ordered you a drink. Rum and mixed cola, your favorite.” Shaw picked up the glass, taking a small sip. “You did a really good job tonight, as always.” You said.

Shaw set the glass down on the bar. “I saw you watching me the whole show.”

“You always tell me to watch you, that I should only look at you on stage.” You reminded him.

Shaw’s smile grew. “That’s right. I’m the most important person for you to look at.” His smile made your heart speed up again, just like it had so many times recently.

After watching him take a few more sips you cleared your throat. “Shaw, can I ask you something? And you have to be honest.” He didn’t answer as he sipped his drink, but his expression gave you the go ahead. “Why did you agree to do the show with me?”

Shaw’s expression hardened. “Did you forget? Adam-”

“I know Adam didn’t sprain his wrist.” You interjected. “I asked him, he told me that he didn't.” Shaw was for once, seemingly silent although you could see the millions of thoughts going through his mind when you looked in his eyes.

You waited for Shaw to speak, but he still didn’t seem to know what exactly to say. The normally smooth and quick witted Shaw was still. So you continued. “I like you Shaw, and I think it’s more than a friend type of like.” You made sure your words were spoken carefully. “And, I think.” You took a deep breath in and out. “I think you may like me too. In a more than a friend way.”

Your heart was a lump in your throat, your hands a shaking mess as you spoke. You couldn’t even force yourself to look in Shaw’s eyes, afraid of what you’d see.

After some time you felt the familiar feeling of Shaw’s warm hand holding yours. Your gaze shifted just enough to stare at his hand, now tightly holding to you so your hand could stop shaking.

Building up your courage you forced yourself to look up at Shaw’s face. His amber eyes were staring right into your soul, his eyes showed emotion you rarely see in him. The vulnerability was back, this time, looking at you directly.

“Shaw?” You whispered. You knew he couldn’t hear you over the music, you couldn’t hear yourself over your racing heart.

Shaw was saying something. Quietly, so you couldn’t hear him over the music. HIs lips moved to say words you couldn't determine. You leaned forward hoping to catch what he was saying but still couldn’t hear him.

“Shaw I can’t hear-” Shaw cut you off, pulling you close to him, his lips hoving just beside your ear.

“You’re important to me.” He whispered. “And I do like you.”

Your cheeks burning, you turned your head to look in his eyes to determine his honesty. But what you found there was the same vulnerability, the same honesty, the softness you only saw in the most fleeting of moments.

The next moments happened without a single thought. You moved your head to kiss him, one hand holding his, the other on the back of his neck. Your heart beat faster than it ever had, but now instead of anxiety, it raced out of joy. Shaw’s other hand came up to hold your face to keep you there. Wanting to kiss you again and again.

Grinning as you put your arms around Shaw’s neck. and in your euphoria, you could hardly hear the voices of the group approaching the bar, loudly complaining about the sudden rain that had started seemingly out of nowhere, and their prediction that it wasn’t going to lighten up anytime soon.

You had a feeling they were right.

#mlqc #mlqc shaw #mldd #shaw ling #ling xiao #yeon siho #mr love queens choice #mr love fanfic #mr love game #shaw x mc

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itisannak · 4 years ago

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Cold Tea (Calum Hood Smut)

Summary: (Y/N) is stressed about an assignment, so Calum brings her favorite beverage ( and snack 😉) (Smut / Fingering/ Mention of public sex/ Mention of unprotected sex) Inspired by @trulycevans story “Stressed” (loved the story, by the way. Go check it out, it is so fluffy) (Words: 1.9k)

The only sound echoing in the room has to be my fingers tapping on my laptop's keyboard and the clock ticking on the wall. It has been like that for the past 3 hours, since I came back from my little "break" to fill my coffee cup. My eyes are heavy from working in front of a screen for so many hours, so I blink rapidly, trying to give them a quick rest before continuing; god, I wish I knew how to touch-type, so I didn't have to look at the screen. "Everything going a-ok, bub?" Calum asks as he peaks through the door. I turn my head to look at him, my face grumpy and lips pouty while he is smiling softly at me. He walks in, clad in his comfy sweats and a black tank top, holding a cup with steaming liquid inside. "Did you bring me coffee?" I ask, perking up a little as I can practically feel the taste of fresh coffee in my mouth. "Something better. Herbal tea." He cheers in excitement, leaning down to leave a kiss in the curve between my neck and shoulder while he places the mug in front of me. "Herbal tea?" I ask repulsed. There is soft tapping on the floor, so I assume that Duke decided to follow his pop in the room. "You need to relax a bit. You are overly caffeinated so your brain is stuck. Herbal tea will make you feel more productive." He explains, resting his chin on my shoulder. "You are smart for a total hottie..." I mumble, rolling my eyes as I pick up the mug to take a sip, blowing on the surface of the tea before it touches my lips. "How is it going?" He asks me, planting a kiss on my jawline. "It is not going." I announce, sighing in despair. Calum moves my hair on one shoulder, bringing his arms to wrap around me. "Maybe it is time for a break. Stretch a bit, fix your posture, tie your hair up. Maybe cuddle Duke a bit, he is like a fluffy stress-ball." He suggests, using his soothing voice. "I am so tensed..." I groan, causing Calum to bring his hands on my shoulders, kneading on my skin as I relax back on my chair. He moves upwards, focusing now on my neck.

"You have a knot in there." He comments, pressing his thumbs on it. "I know. It has been killing me for hours now." I pout, moving my head from side to side. I feel chills rising on my skin as he brings his thumbs all the way up to the base of my head. A moan escapes my lips, which amuses Calum. "And to think I am not even touching you in that way..." He teases me, pressing a kiss on my forehead. "Hush, asshole. I am sore." I giggle, feeling ticklish as his hands travel low on my back. "Mmm, there..." I gasp as he finds the spot on the dip of my back. I arch my back and throw my head back; fuck, he has magical fingers, in every possible way. "Have I told you your tits look great?" He asks, making me bite my bottom lip. "You have... Stop starring at my tits, you creep." I huff. "Not my fault you have the prettiest tits I have seen..." He replies. "Get up and have a stretch. You'll feel a thousand times better." He pats my back, rolling my chair away from the desk to let me get up from it.

Calum leans against the desk as I bend to touch my toes, making my spine pop. I arch my back, trying to crack my back. Calum clears his throat, making me turn my head to him. "Everything alright?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow at him. "Why do you look so sexy, even when you are so tired?" He asks, grabbing me by my waist and pulling me close to his body. "Cal, I stink. My eyes are decorated with eye bags, and my face is dull, my hair is messy and I am wearing leggings. Where is the sexy in that?" I ask him, and he hums, throwing me a side smirk. "Well, everything on you." He lingers above my lips, making me squirm at the intensity of the moment. He has the ability to turn every moment intimate. "You make me so hard, princess. Just looking at you makes me feel funny inside... Fuck... How did I ever get so lucky?" He asks, groaning softly. "You must have done something very nice in your life to end up with me." I giggle, resting my palms on his chest. "I have a way to get your mind to relax..." He licks his lips, lowering his hand to my ass. "I am curious to find what that might be..." I giggle, just as he squeezes my ass in his hands.

He turns me around, pressing his chest on my back as he assaults my neck with his lips. He is an expert at finding my sweetspots, and once he locates the one below my ear he starts nibbling on it with his teeth. I moan and blink rapidly, sinking in the sensation. "Feels good, baby?" He asks, flicking his tongue over the teeth marks on my neck. "So good..." I utter, while his hands slip in the waistband of my leggings, resting on my hips. I feel his boner pressing on my ass, my eyes shutting involuntarily as my mind flies to the dirtiest of thoughts. "I am going to fuck that writing block out of that pretty head of yours." He rasps, forcing me to bend over the desk. I gasp, smiling as I feel him lower my leggings. He leaves my panties in place, pushing his fingers inside them with a chuckle. "You got wet from my massage, princess?" He muses, sounding a little proud of his achievement. "You got hard from massaging me... Don't be cocky." I sass, a millisecond before he pushes two fingers inside me.

I have to bite my bottom lip to avoid giving him the satisfaction of assuring him how much I love his fingers banging inside my tight little hole. "Fuck me... You are tight, baby. Why are you so tight? I have been fucking you every day for nearly 2 years and you are still so tight..." He rasps, wrapping his arm across my chest and pulling me up, with my back against his chest. His hand wraps around my neck, fingers pressing roughly on my skin. His fingerpads are brushing against my spot, while his lips are now pressed on my temple. "Once you are done with this stupid assignment, I will pick you up and drag you to the shower. And then I am going to press you against the glass and fuck your pretty little hole until the glass shutters and our skin is wrinkly from the water. Maybe I will even set up a camera in front of the cabin, so you can take a look at how hot your tits look pressed against the glass like that..." He whispers in my ear, causing chills to run up my spine. "Remember the time we were on vacation? On that island, I don't remember the name of, somewhere in Italy? Remember we were on that beach, alone, and we had this ice bucket for our drinks? Hm, princess? Do you remember?" He asks me, taking my earlobe between his teeth. I nod my head, my eyes fluttering open and close as he moves his long digits inside me. "Remember what I did to you that day on the beach?" He asks me. I whimper, making Calum chuckle. "It's ok, princess. I'll remind you... I put 2 ice cubes inside you and every time the melting water spilled out of your hole and drenched your bikini, reaching your clit, you whimpered and jerked up... Oh, those cute little whimpers drove me insane... I was so hard for you that day... We fucked behind those rocks, and you were a moaning mess, we almost got caught... But you said it was the best orgasm of your life... Oh, I missed that... I want to take you back to that island in Italy, give you an even better orgasm..." He rasps; his breath sounds as caught up in his throat as mine. "I want to go back to Italy too... Please, take me there." I beg; I am not sure if by there I mean the island or my orgasm. "Or that time backstage of that concert in New York... 5 minutes before the show and you were riding my face... I could taste you in my mouth while I sang... There are so many pictures of me licking my lips during the show... Fuck, if people knew..." He murmurs, tightening the grip around my neck. "You know what we haven't done in a while?" He asks, the smirk that makes his lips curl showing in his voice. "What?" I ask, pressing my thighs together as I feel the knot in my stomach tighten. "I haven't rawed you in the backseat of my car in so long... I believe the last time was during our last road trip. We had a stop because you wanted to take pictures and it started raining. You were wearing that white t-shirt that got drenched and I could see your bra right through it. My fucking God, you were so hot. You stripped out of that t-shirt and stayed in that pink bra of yours... I couldn't keep my hands to myself. I filed you up with so much cum that day... I can't wait until we can hop in the car again. Definitely this weekend, we can go to the vineyard by that lake you like." He whispers. I tremble, his fingers inside, and all those dirty memories playing in my head leave me helpless against the orgasm bubbling up inside me. "I am going to cum." My voice breaks at the end, signaling my high is closer than I anticipated. "Yeah, baby? I couldn't tell by your pulsing pussy and your wetness running down my hand..." He mocks me. He pumps his fingers faster, making me arch my back and rest my head against his shoulder as I ride my high. "There it is..." Calum praises as I stir my hips to get more of that sensation of pure euphoria. It takes me at least five minutes before I am ready to go back to functioning. Calum takes his fingers out of my panties and I try to fix my clothes, with my hands still shaking.

"Is your head a little clearer?" Calum asks, with a grin playing on his lips. "I don't know. You will actually have to leave the room for me to be able to focus on anything else but the boner in your sweats..." I reply, taking a seat back in front of the desk again. "Alright... I'll go fix us a light dinner. I will see you in an hour when you will close your laptop for the night and join me and baby grandpa over there on the couch. And I promise, tomorrow I will wake you up bright and early so you can finish this." He pecks on my temple, making me sigh in defeat. "Fine, Hood. Maybe you are right..." I roll my eyes, before reaching for my mug of tea. I take a sip, only to wince at the taste of the tea. "Fuck... Now my tea is cold..." I pout, making Calum laugh. "Well, you can't have it all, baby..." He points out as he walks out of the room, followed by Duke.

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norisxfics · 4 years ago

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NCT 127′s Dorm Maid: Ch.3 - Johnny

Title: NCT 127’s Dorm Maid

Genre: smut

Chapter: 3

Characters: Johnny x OC/reader

Chapter masterlist

Previous Chapter

Contains: fingering, thigh riding, slight choking, dom johnny, squirting

Summary: When NCT’s Dorm maid falls ill, her niece takes her place and becomes NCT’s new dorm maid. NCT weren’t unfamiliar with the girl as she has substituted for her aunt many times before. But this time it was different, this time she was going to become their permanent dorm maid as her aunt was forced to retire because of her health. NCT members quickly grow fond of the girl, but little did she know this also meant that she was going to be a hell of a lot more busy than she expected.

Authors Note: It would be really nice and appreciated if you guys could reblog this if you enjoyed it so that I can get more readers. Liking a post shows me you enjoy it but no one will ever see a content creators content if all you guys do is like the post. Especially now since I’ve heard the tags are being fucked up and not all posts are showing up in the tags

When the boys found out I also play video games on my time off we would often play together online whenever we weren’t busy. We mostly played games like PUBG and other FPS games, sometimes MMO’s. Haechan was the one who most often played with me, he would thank me for playing with him and then proceed to whine about how sometimes the boys won’t play with him even if they’ve got nothing going on. It was cute.

Often times when I’m doing my job he would ask me to watch him play or join him. I would usually tell him to wait until I finish my job but then he would whine and hug my arm, trying to act cute, as he would beg me “It’s just for a few minutes!” It never did end up being only a “few minutes” but I guess you could say those moments are like a break for me.

This time it was both Johnny and Haechan asking me to watch and play with them. I would often help Haechan out as well whenever they played games going against each other I would even lean over Haechan to show him some tricks on the keyboard he could use in the game, Johnny would call it cheating, but I would fight him back saying there was no rules against assisting.

“Noona, you play for me, show him how hard you can beat him like you did to me the other day,” Haechan got off his chair and I chuckled “don’t mind if I do, time to get wrecked Johnny,” I took my place in the chair and started a round with Johnny, and let’s just say that I totally wrecked Johnny. When the round was over Haechan high-fived me and and Johnny let out a sigh “You only won because I let you,”

“Only a sore loser would try to claim that,” I gave a wink and smirked at him, he raised a brow at me.

“I have to go, the dreamies wanna hang out, you guys have fun!” Haechan said as he grabbed his phone in wallet, sliding them into his pockets.

“Bye Haechan, have fun,” I turned to Johnny when he left and smirked “one more round?” Johnny immediately sat up on his chair and we started yet another round. Guess who won?

That’s right me.

“Hah! Get wrecked Johnny, I just made you my bitch,” I gave him a smug smirk and dusted off the non-existent dust off my shoulders. I stood up and fixed my skirt “anyway, I should get back to work, I’ll let you cry it out while I clean,” As I turned to walk away Johnny grabbed my wrist and I turned to him. He stared at me with a brow raised “hold on just a minute, who said you’re dismissed?”

“Huh? I mean, I have to get my work done...”

“You work for us so you answer to us, besides I have somethings to talk about with you,”

“Well, technically I work for SM, SM is the one sending me payche-”

He rolled his eyes, suddenly pulling me to sit on his thigh “First of all I’d like to talk about what you’re wearing today, it’s kind of inappropriate don’t you think? Wearing a short skirt while doing a job that requires bending over a lot,” I had forgotten about that honestly, I intentionally wore a skirt to catch their attention. Ever since that day with Mark my sexual demon that I’ve been suppressing as been slowly coming out. It was exciting, that night, the risk of getting caught, it excited me.

I wanted to tease the boys.

I wanted the excitement.

But I had forgotten about all that while we were playing games, so I was now genuinely surprised.

“Um...well, I can exp-”

“Who said you could talk? I’m not done,”

He gripped onto my thigh, hand slowly moving up “not to mention your actions today as well, the way you were on your knees earlier, wiping the floor in front of me, I bet you did that on purpose, you wanted me to see didn’t you?”

He was absolutely right on point, when I was cleaning the floor I lifted my ass up more when I saw Johnny enter the room, I wanted him to look at me.

I subconsciously licked over my bottom lip, biting down on it as his hand moved up my skirt and over to my ass, while his other hand moved to caress my cheek “and what was that just now hmm? Bending over in excuse to help Haechan, your ass right in my face, you’re just asking for it aren’t you?”

I didn’t answer, I was too distracted by his dark and firm tone of voice. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t wet right now.

His hand soon moved to my throat, thumb caressing against my jawline before he gave a small squeeze to my throat “Answer me.”

I tried so hard not to squirm “Y-yes,”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Sir...”

He gave my ass a squeeze, his other and moved to the back of my head, pulling me closer to him as his lips lingered over mine for a moment, half lidded eyes looking down into mine before his lips finally connected with mine. Our lips moved in unison as a it slowly get deeper, and more desperate, more desperate from my side that is. My hips involuntarily began to move, grinding against his thigh in a slow pace.

Johnny broke the kiss and mumbled “eager little kitten aren’t you?” he gave my ass another squeeze as he encouraged me to continue riding out his thigh. I held onto his shoulders as my gaze went back to his lips, our lips soon connected again, resuming back into a heated kiss. He tightened his thigh muscle, pushing his thigh up against me, a whimper leaving my lips and into the kiss.

“Fuck you’re so wet right now baby girl, it’s leaking through your panties,” I could feel my cheeks turn red “such a dirty little girl,” he smacked my ass and I jumped a little, biting down on my lip “you like that huh?” he smirked and I nodded.

He buried his face in the crook of my neck, kissing and softly sucking on the skin. I let out a soft quiet moan, followed by another as he spanked me again before gripping my hips, pushing my down harder against his thigh. My hips began to move more eagerly against him.

He then held my hips in place and I let out a whimper as he stopped me.

“Stand up,” he ordered.

And so I did. I stood in front of him.

“Lift your skirt up for me, baby”

I gripped onto the hem of my skirt, lifting it up from him to see me white lace panties. He tapped my inner thigh, I took that as a signal to spread my legs more, so I did. He hooked his fingers into my panties and tug them half way down my thighs.

“What was that you said earlier? That I’m you’ve made me your bitch?”

His fingers slipped between my thighs, softly grazing over my wet folds.

“I think you got it all wrong, because I just made you my bitch,”

I shuddered at his words. I was a huge sub and Johnny seemed to know that. I guess a dom will always know a sub when he sees one, right?

His middle finger slipped in between my fold as he dragged it from my entrance to my clit, teasing it a bit before he paused.

“Want me to keep touching you? To make you feel good?”

I nodded “Yes, sir,”

“Then tell me who’s dirty little bitch are you?”

“Yours, sir”

“My what?”

“I’m your dirty little bitch,”

“Good girl,”

I let out a whimper when those two small words came out of his own mouth. He began to rub my clit, pressing his fingers against it, he moved his fingers in a circular motion pressing firmly against me. I gripped tightly onto my skirt, pursing my lips to muffle my moans.

Hi moved his finger between my folds and began to tease my entrance “you’re such a little whore, getting so damn,” he pushed his finger into me, a moan escaping my lips “wet for me,” his finger pumped inside of me, pressing against my wet walls.

“What am I gonna do with you?”

He added a second digit into me, pumping his fingers faster and harder inside of me. I let out a louder moan, covering my mouth quickly with one hand.

“Even your moans sound so dirty,” he chuckled. He curled his fingers up against my walls, finding my sweet spot. I bit into my hand to muffle my moans and whimpers. My hips were shaking and it was becoming hard to stay on my feet.

“Do you wanna come for me, baby?”

“Y-yes sir...”

“Then beg for it,”

His fingers began to move painfully slow, I let out a whine in protest “Please...please don’t stop, please let me cum daddy,”

“daddy huh? I like the way it sounds coming from your dirty little whore mouth, say it again,”

“fuck, daddy please, please make me cum for you daddy,” I begged desperately, as I squirmed.

“Good girl,”

He inserted a third digit and began to roughly and quickly thrust his fingers into me, making to to curl them against my sweet spot, hitting it repeatedly I gripped onto his arm, moaning loudly, forgetting to keep myself quiet, as my body shook with pleasure, my walls tightening around his fingers as I reached my climax.

My juices squirting out onto his hand and onto the floor.

“Fuck...you’re squirter huh?”

He pulled his fingers out and I sunk down onto my knees, catching my breath. I looked up at him to see him licking his fingers clean as he grabbed his phone before pointing it at me “can I take a picture? You know, in memory of who exactly wrecked who tonight,” he smirked down at me and I blushed.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes?” He held the phone up at and angle and took a photo. I didn’t mind of course, or I would have said no.

“You should clean your mess up and get back to work,”

I nodded.

I had a feeling he was going to start teasing me about this, and I was right. The next time I played a game with him and Haechan online and “get wrecked” would be mentioned, he would text me the photo with a reminder “You mean like how you got wrecked the other night?”

#dorm maid #nct maid #nct 127 #nct #nct smut #nct 127 smut #johnny smut #nct johnny #nct johnny smut #johnny suh #haechan smut #my fic #my story #fanfic #nct fanfic #nct 127 fanfic #nct127 fanfic #kpop smut #kpop fanfic

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mikauzoran · 3 years ago

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Lukadrien: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Eight

@lukadrien-june

Read it on AO3: Your Hands Hold Home: Chapter Eight: Guitar Lessons

Luka found Adrien in the main cabin, slowly playing through the principal melody of Merry-Go-Round of Life from Howl’s Moving Castle on one of Luka’s acoustic guitars.

He paused at the bottom of the stairs to listen and watched, entranced, as Adrien’s hands gracefully shifted into position, his fingers dancing eloquently over the strings.

The playing itself was still hesitant due to Adrien’s lack of confidence, but the notes rang true as Adrien carefully played each chord.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” Adrien remarked a bit breathily when he finally noticed Luka’s presence.

Luka blinked out of his trance at Adrien’s words. “Sorry for eavesdropping.”

“It’s fine. I mean, I’m in the common area.” Adrien stood and nodded guiltily towards the guitar. “I hope you don’t mind me helping myself. You said I could practice whenever I liked, and I kind of took you at your word.”

“It’s not a problem,” Luka assured, coming around to Adrien’s side of the couch and taking a seat, gesturing for Adrien to do the same. “I was serious, so, please, go for it.”

“All right,” Adrien chuckled self-consciously even as his nerves started to fade. “I will. Thank you.”

He retook his seat next to Luka and tipped his head at the guitar again. “I’m having a little trouble with F still. Could you show me again, please?”

He looked down sheepishly at the instrument, his cheeks taking on a soft, peony pink hue. “I’m sorry. I know you’ve shown me a dozen times already.”

“It’s okay,” Luka replied earnestly, scooting in closer. “It’s kind of tricky, so no worries. If it helps, it sounded fine when you played it a minute ago, so I think you’re already doing it right in practice.”

Gingerly, he took Adrien’s hand and placed each finger individually.

Adrien tried not to let show how the small contact made him melt on the inside.

He felt awful using learning guitar—something that was practically sacred to Luka—as a means to steal little intimacies��and yet, he did it over and over again. He couldn’t get enough of Luka’s attentions.

“There you go,” Luka proclaimed, giving Adrien a reassuring smile.

Adrien tried to return it, but it came out strained.

Luka was so close, and Adrien felt hyperaware of every move Luka made.

He mentally cursed himself for being so needy.

His therapist had told him that it was okay and natural even for him to be touch-starved, given his circumstances, but Adrien couldn’t help the instinctive guilt and shame that welled up whenever he felt the urge to throw himself at Luka and beg to be petted.

“You’re doing really well with the guitar.” Luka heaped flattery onto praise, making Adrien giddy.

“You really think so?” he pressed, hoping for more validation.

It was so easy to get the things he wanted out of Luka compared with how Adrien had struggled in vain for years to get acceptance, acknowledgement, and affection from his father.

Adrien briefly noted that it felt more than a little messed up to use Luka to resolve long-standing daddy issues.

“Absolutely,” Luka confirmed, oblivious to Adrien’s mental conflict. “You’ve come a long way with the guitar these past two weeks. You’re picking it up quickly.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Adrien chuckled, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I bet you’d pick up piano faster than I’m progressing with guitar. You’re the real musical genius here.”

Luka rolled his eyes. “I’ll take that bet.”

Adrien blinked. “What?”

Luka took Adrien by the hand and gently tugged him over to the keyboard in the corner, demanding, “Teach me.”

Adrien broke out in a laugh. “I’m afraid I’m not really equal to the task. I don’t know the first thing about teaching.”

Luka shrugged, waving away Adrien’s protest. “Start by showing me how to position my hands?”

Instantly, Adrien realized the benefits of playing piano instructor: more legitimate excuses for touching.

“Like this.” Adrien demonstrated and then helped to curve Luka’s fingers into the proper shape. “You want to keep your fingers rounded. Like, if you were sitting and you put your hands on your knees, you want that kind of curve. It helps keep your touch light so you can move your hands more quickly.”

“Got it,” Luka confirmed as he practiced rounding his hands. “So, now that I’ve got that down, care to show me around the keyboard?”

Adrien nodded, reaching out and playing a single note.

“Middle C,” he announced, looking at Luka with a warm grin. “Whenever you get lost or confused, just come back here. If you can find middle C, you’ll be able to find your way again from there.”

Luka reached out and pressed the key several times, letting the sound fill the room like the knelling of a bell.

“…It’s a lot like you,” Adrien confessed softly, looking down at Luka’s hand.

“Yeah?” Luka hummed.

Adrien nodded. “You’re…you’re my middle C.”

Luka paused to stare at Adrien, but Adrien kept his gaze fixed determinedly down.

“Whenever I’m feeling lost and trying to figure things out, if I go to you, you always let me use you as a sounding board and give me advice, and I always manage to find my way again.”

Adrien peeked up at Luka to gauge his reaction and found him wearing a smile full of affection.

“I’m glad you feel that way,” Luka replied. “I’m always happy to be there for you, and I’m glad I’ve been able to help in the past.”

“You’re helping even now,” Adrien chuckled. “I seriously don’t know where I’d be right now without you.”

Luka slowly shook his head. “You have other people who care about you. I’m not the only thing standing between you and obliteration…. Still. I’m really happy that you think I’ve made a difference.”

“You’re indispensable,” Adrien stressed, reaching out and playing the middle C again.

An impish quality snuck into Luka’s smile. “…So…if I’m C…does that make you a G?”

Adrien’s head tipped to the side.

Luka grinned and played an open fifth—the middle C and the G a perfect fifth above it.

A pleased smirk gradually spread across Adrien’s lips. “I mean…I am your Perfect Fifth, aren’t I?”

“That you are,” Luka affirmed, playing the open fifth again.

Adrien moved his hand an octave above Luka’s and played the C and the G there.

The ringing quality of the notes sent shivers down both of their spines.

“They sound good together,” Adrien whispered wistfully, wondering if he and Luka would work equally well in concert.

“I’ve always loved the sound of open fifths,” Luka remarked softly, wondering the exact same thing. “It’s not major or minor…. It’s full of possibilities.”

They sat with that observation for a long, pensive stretch.

Mentally, Adrien chastised himself for being such a starry-eyed romantic.

He pasted on a neutral, unreadable smile and suggested, “Shall I show you a scale?”

#Lukadrien #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Luka Couffaine #Lukadrien June 2021 #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #MLB #Guitar #Piano #Fluff #Pining #Mutual Pining #Slow Burn #Friends to Lovers #Writing Prompts #Mikau's Writings #Your Hands Hold Home

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jaefluenza · 4 years ago

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[23.12] arranged marriage!au w/ tyongie 🖤

Eyes fixed on your computer, you can feel a smoke coming up on your head. You’ve been working like a bull this past few weeks. You let yourself get drown in works and activities. You want to get over every problem you have with husband!Taeyong. Every day is hell with him always arguing with you.

You love him dearly. The moment your dad gave you off to be married to his friend’s son, you fell for Taeyong at first sight. Despite the hate he has for you, taking care of him has been a priority for you. You never ask him for money, you work for yourself and sometimes you provide financial support for house needs.

Taeyong works in a big company and he had a lover of his own before he even knows you. You remember witnessing Taeyong broke off things with his girlfriend as he said he was arranged to be married by his parents. He said that you would never own his heart as it always belonged to someone else.

As if everything is not at peak already, at the busiest moment in your life, he called. You smiled, expecting him to ask you where have you been late at night like this. You answer his call, “Hello?”

“I hate you. Please get lost.” He said coldy. “Taeyong? Is everything alright?” You asked worriedly.

“Please, get lost, I’m begging...” He pleaded. You can feel he’s crying through the phone. “Taeyong... are you drunk?”

“Yeah, what else am I doing late at night, calling you? I drank my problems away, and you’re one of them. I love her, Y/n. Why did you have to separate us like that? You’re a cruel person. Are you even human?”

You didn’t notice your tears falling until some drops into your keyboard. “Taeyong.. I’m sorry.” You sob through the phone, even though he wouldn’t remember it in the next day.

He hung up the call, and you cried even harder. Afterall, you’re only being selfish. You love him, and he doesn’t love you back. He loves somebody else and you’re yanking him away from someone who also loves him dearly. He just talked about how much he hates you in his drunk state, so how much does he hates you in his sober mind?

You take out the damned paper you kept in your bag. You look at the empty space for you to sign, and Taeyong’s signature already stamped. As if it tells you to set him free. You sign the divorce paper with shaking hands. Maybe, letting him go and be happy with his own lover will make both you and him happier. Because, loving someone doesn’t always mean to be with them.

(Sequel)

jaefluenza masterlist

#nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct angst #nct au #taeyong #nct taeyong #lee taeyong #nct sad hours #nct writing #cznnet #nct 127 angst #taeyong angst

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panharmonium · 4 years ago

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Hey, do you ship merthur? I have conflicted feelings about it because Merlin does love Arthur but also their relationship is kinda shitty.

short answer: i do not

longer answer: i might not be the right person to ask about this, because i don’t really “ship” anything? it’s not how i engage with fandom. (disclaimer: this is not a value judgment of folks who do engage with fandom that way. just an explanation of how my own brain works.)

extra long answer: under the cut, because i suppose it was only a matter of time before someone asked me about merlin/arthur, and i might as well put my entire response in one place so that next time, i can just link to it.

questions like this are a little tough for me to answer, because i am completely uninterested in romance as a premise. if it’s not there, i don’t care. if it is there, i often wish it weren’t, because it’s almost never developed in a way that lives up to my standards. i don’t always mind if something contains romantic relationships (provided they’re written well), but i don’t want them to be the point of a story. i honestly cannot think of anything less interesting to me than a story that has as its main plotline “x character falls in love with y character.” for me, in my brain, it’s like, “okay...that’s it? do you have anything else to say?” there is literally nothing about that that i care about.

this can be a little difficult to navigate in fandom, because one of the oft-heard commendations of “fandom” is ‘gosh, fandom is so wonderful, we can watch the same two characters fall in love again and again and again in a million different scenarios!’ which is true, for the people who care about that sort of thing, but that’s not actually ‘fandom.’ that’s shipping. and there’s nothing wrong with shipping, but shipping and fandom are not the same thing, and they’ve become so conflated that it can be very difficult to engage in the latter without being absolutely swamped by the former.

many times, for me, fandom can feel synonymous with shipping. there was a post i reblogged recently whose tags described shipping as often feeling like a prerequisite to engaging with fandom, and that is often what it feels like to me, particularly in fandoms where one ship is so ubiquitous that any and all other material is utterly dwarfed by it in scale. (for me, my last two major fandoms have been merlin and teen wolf, so - i’m sure you see my dilemma, heh.)

all of that said, in terms of arthur and merlin specifically...

disclaimer: everything i say here is relevant to me only. these are my own feelings. i am making this post on my own blog, in my own space, in response to a question about my own thoughts. i do not want, expect, or need anyone else to share these thoughts. any commentary i make about fandom trends is not equivalent to condemnations of individual people’s opinions or shipping habits. i do not mind or take issue with folks who ship these two characters. i am glad you are having fun. please do not @ me about something you disagree with. i promise you it is not necessary.

okay. with that out of the way.

part of me is reluctant to expound further on this question, because my personal philosophy is that merlin and arthur as a ship have had more than enough time and space devoted to them in this fandom (way more than their share, frankly) and i generally prefer to focus on merlin and the other people in his life, as a deliberate counter to that. but, since you asked, and because i have been experiencing the “i’m tired of romance” bug more strongly lately, here is the long-form version.

the number one reason why i don’t ship arthur and merlin is what i already outlined above: i don’t really “ship” anything. i have never looked at two characters who were not already together/on an obvious potential path to being together and said “i want them to fall in love.” that has just never happened to me. (again - it’s not a BAD thing to have this happen, it’s just not something that’s ever happened to me. i can’t relate to the experience.)

therefore, when i do appreciate a romantic relationship, it’s pretty much always because canon has shown me something romantic (or clearly pre-romantic) that i find to be well-written and compelling. (it’s rare - as i outlined before, i would usually rather not deal with romance at all - but it happens.)

arthur and merlin, then, never had that effect on me, because arthur and merlin, as depicted in the canon, are not in love.

[to anybody reading this who just snatched up their keyboard and started furiously typing, i beg you - please go back and re-read my disclaimer.]

they’re not in love. the truth about these two is that if i had watched this show without having grown up in fandom as a culture (and without knowing exactly what kind of ships fandom immediately sees EVERYWHERE) the idea of anybody shipping these two together would never have even entered my mind.

(and like. because i DID grow up in fandom, and i DO know exactly what kind of ships fandom sees everywhere, i knew before i even started this show that arthur/merlin was going to be an inescapable thing. but that would not have been the case, if i had watched the series in a world where i didn’t know what fandom was.)

arthur and merlin, in canon, are not in love. the show never does anything to give me an inkling that either of them are harboring romantic feelings for each other. that is never what is happening onscreen. literally the last thing on merlin’s agenda is romantic attachment, ever, and arthur is never, ever shown to be in love with anyone who isn’t gwen. the show, onscreen, never tricks me, teases me, or leads me on. i was never under the impression that merlin and arthur were in love with each other, because they weren’t.

but that DOES NOT MEAN their relationship matters less. just because they aren’t IN love with each other doesn’t mean they don’t love each other, and one of those things is not bigger or better or more powerful than the other.

i struggle a lot in fandom (all fandom, not just merlin) with the persistent idea that romantic attachment is the peak, the natural endpoint on a scale of “how deep is your love?” i am constantly running up against posts where the commonly accepted structure is to cite a moment of devotion or caring or some instance of basic connection between two characters, and then add a caption or tag saying ‘because they are JUST FRIENDS, right?’ or ‘^^totally platonic interaction between characters who are not at all in love, sure jan.’

and honestly? i hate that. that is one of my least favorite things about fandom. it makes me so tired.

i am completely disconnected from this idea that there are like...things you can do that are too caring to count as friendship. like - that there is too much devotion you can show, and if you go over the limit, then it’s laughable that you would do those things for “just” a friend. that’s so unpleasant to me.

(and i do think [when it comes to non-canon queer ships, anyway - straight ships unfortunately have no excuse, sorry y’all] that part of this probably has its roots in pushback at the tendency of people who try to “gal pal” actual queer ships (or literal real life relationships), so this, at least, is something i can understand. i’m queer myself; i get that. and that is why i will never like - attach myself to someone’s post and start complaining. people can vent however they want.)

it doesn’t change my own feelings, though. i hate seeing every meaningful friendship i’ve ever been invested in talked about like it’s just a romance in disguise.

other things: i am uninterested in romance as a motivator.

truly, from the bottom of my heart, i don’t care.

we are, at least in my corner of the world, oversaturated with romance, to the point where any piece of media that doesn’t include it in some fashion is shockingly bizarre. it is EVERYWHERE. it is in EVERYTHING. i cannot pick up a book without running into a romantic plotline. i cannot watch a movie or a tv show without being forced into multiple romances that i don’t care about. (rare exceptions apply, as always, but i’m speaking generally.)

this oversaturation, for me, means that romance as a storyline no longer holds any meaning for me. i see it EVERYWHERE. it is in literally EVERYTHING. making merlin into a “love story,” for me, makes the show so much less interesting, because there are billions of love stories out there. love stories are practically the only kind of story our media remembers how to tell! why would i take a story that is so unique in its exploration of deep friendship (that isn’t even quite friendship, because it’s not real, but merlin wants it to be real, but making it real would also destroy it) and loyalty (that isn’t necessarily deserved, but is still offered, but is damaging to the person offering it) and love (that exists in spite of arthur’s position as the oppressor, but still cannot erase merlin’s oppression, and is patently not a magical fix for the very real problems merlin is facing), and then want to water it down to “and then they fell in love”???

merlin bbc has so much to say about the transformative, redemptive power of love (not just romance), and the bonds we form with each other despite the fact that we don’t always deserve each other, and what we can do to make ourselves better, and how do we make amends for the ways in which we hurt the people we care about, and it is so complicated and there is so much beauty there and i adore it specifically because it is one of the rare pieces of media out there that doesn’t prop up romantic love as the most important and powerful force in the universe. romantic love is not what moves the story. merlin’s love for the people around him is based on compassion. it’s bigger than the familiar and overused ‘i am desperately in love with this one individual person and that’s what drives my actions,” which is a premise all of us know has been done to death. merlin’s love is not about romantic attachment. it’s a deep, abiding love for humanity. it’s based on hope, and faith, and the inherent belief that everybody matters, even in their worst moments.

condensing that kind of story into “and then they fell in love” erases its meaning for me. it makes it trite. uninteresting. i have seen “and then they fell in love” fully sixty thousand times. “and then they fell in love” has been done so often that it is utterly devoid of power for me. boring. i literally do not care.

other people might feel differently, and find a romantic love story compelling. i don’t.

i’m guessing the message that prompted this essay is asking me to evaluate how i feel about the “goodness” of the merlin/arthur ship, aka whether it’s worthwhile to ship it or not based on how healthy/unhealthy it is, which i definitely can’t answer, because i don’t think whether it’s “good” or not really matters. i am definitely too old to be riding the newer wave of, uh...idk, purity culture type stuff that is so oft-debated on here, lately.

but you’re absolutely right, anon - merlin and arthur’s relationship IS kinda shitty! it 100% is. it doesn’t mean you can’t ship them, though, if you want; otherwise i wouldn’t be invested in any aspect of their friendship, either.

the fact that merlin and arthur’s relationship is kinda shitty is an essential element of the show; it’s the microcosmic representation of the macrocosmic problem merlin is trying to solve, and even with that being the case, we can see clearly that this also doesn’t preclude them from having real moments of connection and care and love. this is the contradiction i have to keep in mind whenever i engage with them in the friendship sense - merlin has been wronged by arthur in so many ways, and yet he still loves him and believes arthur can do better, and yet his dedication to arthur really does destroy his life piece by piece, and you really have to walk a line between those extremes and be thinking: in what ways was this a noble, honorable path for merlin to take and in what ways was this damaging, and was it all worth it in the end?

we probably wouldn’t still be watching this show if we didn’t ultimately think the answer to that last question was yes. but there are also equally valid ways in which the answer is, truthfully, no, and i think really the only important thing when dealing with merlin and arthur’s relationship (in whatever capacity you prefer) is to keep that dissonance in mind.

so, to more directly address your question, when it comes to my interaction with the source material, i don’t ship merlin and arthur romantically because i don’t see romance when they interact in canon, and i don’t think their relationship could be improved or made more interesting/more meaningful by adding extra-canonical romance into the mix. that’s really it.

but the other side of things is this: even if i were granted someone else’s ship-goggles to somehow see romance between these two (eg, once, in the distant past i read a harry potter fic that was so well-constructed it sold me on a relationship i didn’t [and still don’t] actually see in canon), i still wouldn’t choose to ship merlin and arthur, and it’s not because they’re a “bad” ship (no such thing, folks - tag your stuff and let people live their lives, thank you), it’s because this fandom has already been swallowed by them and i cannot bring myself to make that imbalance worse.

trying to be in the merlin fandom without shipping merlin and arthur is just...a little bit difficult sometimes. i think probably even people who do ship merlin/arthur are aware of that. sometimes it can feel like merlin/arthur is a given in this fandom, not one of many options - as if you’re not in the merlin fandom, but rather the merthur fandom, and you know you really, really do not belong there.

and it’s not even a canonical ship! it’s not even real. and yet if you like this show, and you want to engage in the fandom, your experience is, without exception, going to be chock full of merlin/arthur content by default.

essentially, my struggle with the merlin/arthur dynamic in fandom is two-fold:

1) the strikingly imbalanced content distribution

the merlin fandom, in terms of content distribution, is a pretty accurate mirror of merlin’s own existence, to be honest, in that pretty much every aspect of it is eventually taken over by arthur pendragon, and in that there’s a reasonable debate to be had about whether or not that’s a good thing.

(spoiler alert: it’s not.)

even so, it is what it is, and as i said before, me commenting on fandom trends is not meant as a condemnation of individual preferences. people like what they like! that’s just how things are. shipping arthur and merlin isn’t a Bad thing to do, by any means, and the fact that so many people do is just, you know, bad luck for me, lol. but at the same time, the wildly unbalanced distribution of content does make it more difficult for folks who don’t ship merlin/arthur to engage in fandom with quite the same level of ease, and even though it’s nobody’s fault, it is still perfectly reasonable for people who don’t ship merlin/arthur to be frustrated about that.

fanfic is a pretty good case study for how this plays out. i saw a post a while back that was titled something like ‘merlin bbc gothic,’ and the first bullet point was “canon ships are rarepairs,” and HOO BOY, that is true. stats-wise, merlin/arthur makes up ⅔ of the merlin fic on AO3. ~25,000 fics. the next most popular tag after merlin/arthur is arthur/gwen, but arthur/gwen have ~2,900 fics in their tag. and when you remember to exclude any instance of merlin/arthur from the arthur/gwen tag, that number drops by another thousand, to ~1,940.

that’s buckwild. come on. merlin/arthur has twenty-three THOUSAND more fics than the next most popular (and CANONICAL, i might add) ship? and every other ship’s numbers are even lower than that?*

and if you don’t want to read shippy stuff in the first place, like me - the merlin “gen” tag has less than 8000 fics in it, by comparison, and then you STILL have to filter merlin/arthur out of the gen fics, leaving you with about 6300 - which number has to be filtered down further to remove OTHER ships that still make it past the gen filter.

in comparison to 25,000.

like. i’ve been in fandom long enough that i’m not surprised - mean, i came into merlin directly off a teen wolf phase, and boy, that’s a whole other bowl of noodles right there, with added squick factors that are irrelevant here - but i’m still just...man.

it still makes my head spin. and it is still frustrating, every time.

*(there is a lot more to be said about how gwen fits into all of this, and i know it has been discussed more thoroughly in other places, but yes, another reason i am leery of arthur/merlin as a thing is that i’m just...not super comfortable with what that implies for gwen and her position in the story. even if i personally am slightly more compelled by gwen/lancelot, technically - i still don’t quite feel comfortable taking gwen out of her canonical place. she belongs at the top. she deserves to be the love interest and she deserves to be the queen. and like - people can say that her relationship with arthur isn’t “developed” or “convincing” enough to warrant retaining in fic, and i get it, the show really did fail gwen in S5 - but i still don’t buy that argument. people literally INVENTED a romantic relationship for themselves and put 25,000 fics worth of effort into building it up; there is no reason why an “underdeveloped” canon romance couldn’t have gotten the same treatment. except, of course, for the fact that one [Black, female] character was being shoved aside to make way for yet another two white dudes.)

(and i’m not saying that everyone is doing this deliberately or maliciously. but we all know this is a cross-fandom trend. there is literally no reason for the gap in content to be THAT wide. a canon relationship with twenty-three thousand fewer fics than an invented ship? just...that is a stat that bears thinking about. it doesn’t mean that merlin/arthur is a “bad” ship, or that you can’t prefer lancelot/gwen, but it IS still important to recognize these patterns where they occur, across fandoms, and to really think about what they mean.)

2) the arthur-goggles

my second struggle with merlin/arthur in fandom is the ubiquitousness of the arthur-goggles, aka: the tendency in fandom, as in canon, to make everything in merlin’s life about arthur, and everything in the show about merthur.

this one specifically really gets to me. i am very committed to the idea that merlin is a complete individual, whether arthur is there or not. i write a LOT of meta about merlin being a whole person, specifically pushing back on the idea that merlin was “born” for arthur’s benefit - my motto is basically that “merlin’s life does not revolve around arthur pendragon,” and the way his life begins to revolve around arthur pendragon in later seasons is not in fact touching or romantic or beautiful; it’s a tragedy. merlin does not exist only in the context of his relationship with arthur; he possesses worth outside of his mission to save the prince of camelot, and he was already a complete person before he ever met the prince of camelot, and one of the many issues we have to think about when dealing with arthur and merlin in any capacity is how merlin is told from the get-go that he is supposed to devote his whole life to arthur, but arthur is never given any such reciprocal responsibility.

merlin and arthur’s relationship, just like the distribution of content in this fandom, is wildly imbalanced. merlin spends all of his spare time thinking about arthur’s life; he ties himself in knots trying to help arthur develop as a person. he is constantly working to keep arthur safe and happy. but arthur, at the end of a long day, doesn’t spend his nights agonizing over how he can improve merlin’s life. he just goes home and goes to bed. he never once thinks, ‘my purpose on this earth is to serve and support my friend merlin.’ he is never told his life isn’t his own, that he is supposed to be one half of some two-sided coin. only merlin is told that his entire existence is earmarked for someone else, that his life’s purpose is to be someone else’s better half. only merlin is expected to devote his entire being to someone else’s betterment. only merlin is expected to say demeaning, self-abnegating things like “i was born to serve you.”

arthur, by contrast, is allowed to have a life of his own. he is allowed to exist on his own terms. he is never told that his worth is dependent on how well he can prop someone else up. and while fic might like to imagine merlin being the most important thing in arthur’s life, in canon that is just not the case.

merlin exists on his own merits, and the idea that he does everything he does just because “he’s in love with arthur” will never sit right with me, because it’s simply not true. merlin and arthur’s relationship is important to both of them, yes, and of course it is undergirded by deep love and care, but it is also way more complicated than that. merlin’s investment in arthur’s life - and his grief at arthur’s death - are NOT solely driven by his love for arthur as an individual; they are inextricably bound up with a sense of obligation and duty and self-worth and, eventually, failure, because he’s been told that protecting arthur is a) the only thing that matters about his own life and b) the only way to free his people and save an entire kingdom. and i think ignoring this very real complexity in favor of “merlin does what he does and feels what he feels because he’s in love with arthur” cheapens the depth of the story and flattens merlin’s character.

arthur-goggles automatically make everything about merlin/arthur, though. so the difficulty, for me, with merlin/arthur as a ship, is that it can be hard to make/find things about merlin that people don’t instantly, always try to link back to arthur in some way. merlin is not allowed to have things that are just his, and he can’t exist in a state where arthur doesn’t somehow factor in - no matter how unrelated to arthur something is, or how non-shippy it’s meant to be - there’s someone out there who’s going to loop it back to merthur in some way.

just like - scattered examples of things I’ve encountered:

all of merlin’s non-arthur love interests on AO3 having massive chunks of their ship tags actually being merthur fics, with the non-arthur ship serving solely as a stepping stone on the way to getting merlin and arthur together

readers, on fics that are specifically designated as focusing on merlin+someone else and in which arthur does not appear, leaving comments asking “so how long until arthur shows up,” “can’t wait to see arthur,” etc

meta about how ‘merlin’s time in camelot was actually really bad for him as a person’ being reblogged and modified by someone else with an addition like “but merlin doesn’t regret a second of it because he wouldn’t have known arthur if he were anywhere else,” and the OP having to reblog their own post and explain that this is literally the exact problem they were trying to critique

in fic, merlin’s friends being utilized only as vessels with whom he can have discussions about his developing relationship with arthur

etc etc

it’s not always huge egregious things, but wearing arthur-goggles means EVERYTHING comes back to merthur in some way, which for me is just...really insulting to other characters, and really limiting in terms of story analysis.

so, for example - this is a VERY specific example that few will relate to, because i am probably the only person on here who has ever tried to search the tag for merlin’s friend will from ealdor (a niche fave of mine) - but with him, especially, it is very hard to avoid bumping into a lot of people wearing arthur-goggles, because everybody seems to imagine him as merlin’s ex, who is only upset about what’s going on in 1.10 because he’s jealous about arthur appearing alongside merlin, never mind that will and merlin have known each other since birth and have a relationship that LITERALLY predates arthur by two decades.

so with him, as an example - the other day, i saw some post in the tag that was like “will gets teary when arthur makes his inspirational speech in ealdor because he finally understands what merlin sees in arthur and he can’t be mad anymore”

and that is just patently untrue. it is not even remotely close to a legitimate interpretation of what is happening in that scene. will hasn’t come around to arthur’s way of thinking yet; he literally still packs his things and leaves after this happens, and he is - i mean, first of all, he’s not crying, lol, and he stalks out of that scene weary, angry, and fed up, because he thinks the village is delusional and all of his neighbors are going to get killed in the morning. his arc - his dissatisfaction with what is going on, his anger at the ignorance arthur wields as a nobleman with all of that wealth and privilege, his resistance to the big “let’s fight kanen’s men with sticks” plan - that is about him and his history and who he is. it is not about an (imaginary) merlin/arthur love story.

but when the arthur-goggles are on, all roads lead to merthur. even when the other characters in question (*coughWILLIAMcough*) would be beyond mortified to have merthur, of all things, assigned as their motivation.

SO. now that i’ve gone over both the canon and fandom aspects of my reasoning, the succinct summary in response to your question is just that no, i don’t personally ship merlin/arthur. because:

a) i don’t see it b) the fandom is already trying to drown me with it and i choose to center other characters out of spite c) i just think merlin deserves better lol

however, as i said in my disclaimer - that doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t ship and enjoy it! merlin/arthur is very much not my cup of tea, but that’s no reason why other folks can’t have fun with it. i think the best portrayals of it, probably, will be those that keep in mind exactly what you said - that merlin and arthur’s relationship is “kinda shitty” - but this is fandom, so if what folks really want to write is just lots of happy AU’s with no issues, then they should go for it! the point of fandom is to have fun connecting with people over a shared love of something, so i am happy to let others have fun doing their thing, and i will just be over here doing mine. 🙂

#thanks for the question!#hope this is helpful #fyi to everyone else; this is the most space i will EVER devote to this subject so #wave goodbye as it flies past!#XD #the once and future slowburn #meta #(sort of? fandom analysis? idk)

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rvmmm21 · 4 years ago

Text

. you know who i am? .

k, so i didn’t mean for this to get so out of hand. also, my first time writing in present tense? idk how to feel about it, but i guess it’s different. it felt so different writing for like actual humans lol. my first ‘normal’ fic, this is!

please for the sake of this making sense can we all pretend jennie, joy and irene are around the same age? also look who had fun with brand names. moi.

anyways this is [badgirl/bully!joohyun ‘persuading’ clumsy freshman!seungwan to be her assignment buddy]

...

University culture is grating.

It’s overwhelming and it suffocates her. She has no time to prepare herself for the apparent runway the halls have become, what with the stupid-rich kids treating every day like it’s a fashion show; Seungwan can barely blink from one person to the next without being smacked across the face with fur coats from Chanel, Louis Vuitton sunglasses hidden under Prada nylon bucket hats and Off-White tracksuits tucked into Balenciaga socks. She hadn’t considered a future in law enforcement, but had she done so, anyone who tucked their trousers into their socks mid-calf would find themselves behind bars with the rest of the criminal scum. End of.

Just as she dusts her hands of that smug little sentiment, Seungwan finds herself with a face full of hair, and an even bigger nose full of what smells like laundry detergent. She lets out an embarrassing squeal, and the girl turns round to face her. A ghost of a scowl brushes across her face before she fixes her with an indiscernible gaze.

That scowl is an awful colour on a face as pretty as yours, she impulsively thinks.

Seungwan knows no more about the history of art and the intricacies of sculpture than the average Joe, but she’s sure Michelangelo missed the mark with David. She inwardly laughs at the thought of the man dedicating his entire being to crafting his flimsy idea of ‘perfection’ when she’d just bumped into it; the real thing. Of course, if that was defined by forming new constellations from faded freckles on flawless skin, or vantablack tresses framing sharp features like a painting, then yes; she was, by very definition, ‘the perfect (wo)man’. Easily outdoing anyone within a 50-metre radius.

Heck, make that 500.

The girl glares intimidation and Seungwan manages to save herself the humiliation of drooling in front of the white-hot beauty and her friends with a quick gulp, already feeling crimson seeping into her cheeks.

Perfect; now that she’s watched whatever new potential friendship this was blow up in her face, all she has to do is avoid her at all costs from here on out.

She mouths a haphazard apology and zooms past before anything can come of it, keeping her head down even after she’s well out of sight. Seulgi, Seulgi, Seulgi, save me, she brisk walks and begs all the way to class.

~~~~~~~~~~

A small commotion rings through the lecture hall of keyboard clicks and lethargic shuffles, calling to attention the girl who’s just spilt her drink down her front, now frantically digging around in her backpack for anything she can use to soak it up. A few jeering giggles are stifled, meanwhile students close by donate tissues and sympathetic looks. They are gratefully accepted with rapid-fire bows and machine-gun stuttered apologies.

“That freshman’s just ruined her rep, huh?” Jennie chuckles, “blindly walking into people… can’t even keep liquid in the cup. Give her a dog collar and a sign and she’s good to go.”

“Eh, I thought it was cute.”

Jennie’s retort comes quick.

“Sooyoung, you think anything in a skirt is cute.”

“What,” the girl says, ignoring the implication, “Haetnimie doesn’t wear skirts. And she’s not even wearing one right now. Plus, I didn’t say ‘she’s cute’, I said ‘it’s cute’. Learn the difference, idiot… it’s not like I wanna have at her or anything…”

Jennie shoots her an incredulous look and Sooyoung relents the banter. They both turn their attention to the girl sitting next to them, completely un-present in the moment. Sooyoung notices who she’s looking at and leans in to nudge her.

“Joohyun,” she whispers, poking her in the ribs when it’s obvious their friend is well on her way to signing a contract with NASA with how apparently well accustomed to space she is, “what do you think of her? Or are you still mad she walked into you?”

“Nah, forget it,” Jennie waves her off before she’s even had a chance to respond, “she’s not interested. I had to literally pay her money to go on a stupid double date with me in high school. I washed five cars for her to not even hold his hand once during the movie.”

Instead of participating, Joohyun sighs, casting the girl in question a seemingly uninterested stare. Unbothered eyes take in the sight she’s presented with: frustrated brows knitted together under a wispy caramel fringe and a blot of taro milk tea the size of Canada staining her baby blue jumper.

“I want her.”

The words are so simple her friends almost miss them entirely.

Sooyoung and Jennie battle for first place in an impromptu competition of ‘who’s-the-most-shocked’.

“You’re joking! Yah, you’re so annoying seriously, now?! You couldn’t have ‘wanted’ Min-seok in year nine?! I paid good, hard cash for that stupid boy!”

Joohyun looks at her, smug as a cat.

“I did it for you, Jennie. I didn’t even remember his name was Min-ho.”

“Min-seok.”

“Yeah, right.”

Sooyoung, wide-eyed and on the verge of passing out, grabs Joohyun by the shoulders, ignoring the glare she receives for it. “Joohyun, seriously? You’re serious. You want her like want her? Or want her like you wanted that cookbook after that trial week of Food Tech during summer break?”

Joohyun regards her, absolutely blasé. “I don’t follow recipes.”

“Exactly. Are you play-”

Sooyoung’s statement dies down with the rest of the class as the lecturer walks in. Furious clicking, hurricane scribbles and flipping pages are all that remain as the lesson kicks off, Jennie and Sooyoung casually scrolling through Instagram while the professor speaks. Joohyun leans forward, elbows on desk and chin resting on interlocked fingers. Her full attention is on the poor girl on the other side of the hall, intermittently peeling the cold, damp fabric away from her body, face flushed and avoiding all eye contact. Joohyun snickers at how uncomfortable it must be to have to sit through class in a wet jumper, how awkward and squeamish she looks.

Strawberry-tinted lips curl into the faintest smirk.

Hello cutie.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Yah! Kang Seul-Gi!” Seungwan calls out to chocolate-swirly space buns and baggy gym clothes hurtling towards her from across campus grounds, “where the heck were you?!”

“Sorry sorry! Overslept!”

“What!? Your class starts at noon! … and this is like… day 1!”

The girl looks like she’s barely had the chance to screw her head on the right way as she joins Seungwan on the steps of the university entrance.

Seungwan’s sweating buckets; physically and metaphorically, both from the waves of humidity and her all-exclusive one-idiot circus show this morning in class. That little muck up makes it to the tippy top of the endless list of embarrassing things Seungwan has stored in her long-term memory.

“You okay?”

Seungwan palms rosy cheeks as she takes another mouthful of her rainbow sherbet cone.

“You wouldn’t believe what happened to me.”

Seulgi chortles as her best friend recounts her ordeal, trying to subdue the sea of smart alec remarks bubbling under her skin.

“So that was great, too. And now I’m a laughing stock. A meme. They’re probably editing my stupid face as I speak…”

Seulgi reverts back to the first incident. Of course she would.

“Sooo… not like in the dramas then?”

Seungwan hangs her head, “not at all… she looked like she wanted to kill me.”

Seulgi lets out a snort before prodding her with more curious questions. The cogs in Seungwan’s brain churn and stutter as she tries to filter as many redundant adjectives as possible, only using ones she deems absolutely necessary to describe the most beautifully terrifying girl she’s ever seen.

Just then, as if Seungwan had meant to conjure hell itself, the three girls make an appearance from round the corner, chatting amongst themselves and taking Seungwan and Seulgi by surprise. The latter glances down where steely fingers are squeezing her wrist, as if that’d activate some magical cloak of invisibility. Seungwan’s as good as swallowed her tongue, shakily motioning to the girl in the middle of the black velvet storm with her eyes and a few nose twitches.

“H-her…” she stutters, finally getting her brain into gear after they leave, “… her.”

Innocent eyes double in size at the realisation.

“Wha-wait no, her?! You bumped into… her?! Her, Bae Joohyun leader of killer senior pack Bae Joohyun?”

Seungwan’s heart only thumps faster at the panic in Seulgi’s voice, but her words still mean nothing. The other girl swipes the dangling question marks off the top of her friend’s clueless head.

“Yo Wan-ah, you have to lay low. I mean why would you even – oh geez wow you really messed up. Can’t you look where you’re – I can’t even begin to – why would you – oh my gosh!”

Seulgi’s disjointed sentences allow enlightenment to trickle in and Seungwan slaps a hand over her forehead, mortified.

Oh god no. That’s the Bae Joohyun?

She’d heard the rumours. Many, rumours. Bae Joohyun who makes her juniors cry. Bae Joohyun; precious daughter of the most elusive mafia gang leader in all of Korea. Bae Joohyun; ice queen senior, sole roost-ruler of Hanyang University and the biggest bully you’ll ever meet.

Positively preposterous, empty claims with no evidence whatsoever to back them up… she hopes.

“Pft yeah okay she’s… mean, but she’s not like… jesus or anything she can’t… like… part the Red Sea or, turn water into vodka I don’t know,” Seungwan tries and fails at consoling herself, receiving nothing but an apologetic pat on the back from the girl beside her.

“Yeah well… she’s not the messiah but everyone treats her like it. And for the sake of your own neck, you’d better start too. Watch out, Wan-ah.”

Seungwan hadn’t paid any mind to those wet-eared freshmen whom she’d overheard during orientation gossiping about Joohyun and her charming little posse; but perhaps she should have.

She gulps, too afraid to think of anything else.

~~~~~~~~~~

Seungwan often fantasizes at work. There has to be some way to pass the time, after all.

Deep down she’s a sucker for romance, she knows it far too well; she envisions herself ten years down the line, letting whoever she has on the other end of the phone know that she’ll be home soon, that work has just been extra grueling today, and that she cannot wait to give them a cuddle. She’ll stir the dinner pot while she tells them stories, pausing in between to remind her lover how beautiful they are. Perhaps one day, the honour will be hers, to see her soulmate walking down the aisle.

But as the tinkling of the doorbell rings through her café, Seungwan files those cloudy fantasies for later and greets her first customers with a smile.

She hasn’t been sleeping very well, worrying her mind with ridiculous thoughts and impossible scenarios. All involving Joohyun as a tick-tocky alligator and herself as none other than Captain ‘I’m-actually-innocent-why-are-you-still-trying-to-eat-me’ Hook.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s five minutes to closing time. Seungwan suppresses the yawn in her chest and blinks away the moisture in her eyes. Just zero to sixty, five times in your head. You got this, Seungwan. Gosh, there’s no one in the café and hardly anyone outside. She briefly contemplates closing early.

“Small iced Americano.”

“Coming r – aii!! Ai…!”

Seungwan’s adrenaline spikes so high she could serve it ice cold in a coffee cup right now. Caught completely off guard, she begins stammering nonsense behind the till, crinkling the leather of her dark brown work apron and then using the hem of her polo shirt to wring clammy palms none the drier. All the while her customer stands there, brow quirked and card held out between slender fingers. Her expression, although slightly amused, threatens her to take her money, or else.

Before she can open her mouth, a buttery voice snaps her out of her trance.

“Hello, Seung – wan… hey, don’t we have Korean Literature together?”

Seungwan tries not to spontaneously combust on the job as she instinctively slaps a hand over her name tag. It’s useless though, it is now known. Known to her, of all people. The notorious Bae Joohyun; dressed in Acne jeans and an over-sized midnight Balenciaga cardigan, she looks like any other young, caffeine-dependent university student. But Seungwan knows a lot better.

Oh god save me… what the hell is she doing here!? This has to be a set up. She’s here for me. I’m going to die tonight. Mummy, daddy I love you.

“J-J-Juh…”

She can’t say it. All the years of schooling; learning the alphabet and how to enunciate your words drain out through the holes in her ears. She gawks dumbly, moving her head in what could be considered to be a nod.

“Ah, I thought I recognised you,” she doesn’t even bother trying to sound surprised, “I’m Joohyun.”

Don’t I know.

All Seungwan can do is nod again, hating herself for even breathing right now.

Joohyun clicks her tongue and fiddles with the card in her hand, impatient, “soooo… is this Americano free, or…?”

Yes, yes it’s free, please just take it and go! I’ll upgrade it to an extra-large if you want, on me! If it means I’m spared for the rest of my student life, take it all! Jesus, how did you even find me?!

“Ah, yes. Sorry! Uh, yes that’ll be um two fif – two… two thirty.”

There’s a shaky exchange of a debit card and a forgotten peace treaty iced Americano before Seungwan takes an unconscious shuffle back from the register, eyes glued to the smudge on the toe of her right sneaker, unable to meet Joohyun’s piercing gaze for too long.

“Thank you, Seungwan.”

The way she lingers on the ‘S’ whispers shivers down the girl’s spine. She glances up at the worst possible time, too, nearly jumping out of her mismatched Muji socks when she sees Joohyun’s hibiscus-tinted lips bloom into a coy smirk.

“I’ll see you around.”

And with what a shivering Seungwan could’ve sworn was a terrible attempt at a wink, Joohyun is gone. Clutching at her chest, she tries to slow her accelerated heartrate, praying she doesn’t need heart surgery after what she’s just been through.

Seulgi’s so hearing about this.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Daebak,” Sooyoung scoffs, side-eyeing Joohyun as she twiddles her pen.

“What else did you say?” Jennie presses, taking a sip of her chai latte.

Joohyun merely hums, disclosing no further details of her little cafe incident. She misses Jennie’s disbelieving grin when the walking, talking definition of awkward bumbles into the lecture hall, just on time, armful of texts and messy cinnamon locks matted to her face.

Sooyoung can’t resist a jest. “Joohyun, look. It’s idiocy on legs.”

Joohyun bites back a snort as her eyes follow the girl stumbling and murmuring apologies all the way to her seat. She slumps into the chair with burning cheeks, brushing her hair back with her fingers and fiddling with her gingerbread fringe. Too cute, Joohyun thinks, gritting her teeth.

It happens about mid-way in the class. The mention of pair work triggers the uniform eye-roll, groan and grumble combo, more so from the seniors, who sure as hell don’t want to be paired with icky, snot-nosed first-years who can barely lift their spoons to their mouths. The grumbling evaporates when it is stated that, although compulsory, it is not a fixed-paired assignment.

Seungwan breathes a sigh of relief along with a few others, content to set up camp in the aisles of the library, perfectly undisturbed. But she suddenly feels paler than chalk; flashbacks of heeled boots, midnight cardigans and heart surgery flooding into her veins once more when she catches a pair of stealthy pupils regarding her from across the room. A deceptively sweet smile sparkling on those dreaded lips, breath-taking and utterly petrifying all at once. Even from the other side of a bloody lecture theatre, Bae Joohyun has Seungwan sweating bullets and unconsciously fidgeting at her collar to release steam no one else can see.

About a minute away from hurling herself out the nearest window, Seungwan diverts her attention to her notebook at the last second.

~~~~~~~~~~

Seungwan stabs her chopstick into the egg yolk, watching it dribble all over her rice. She’s jealous of her own best friend who doesn’t have to live every waking hour with a red sniper laser dot on her back.

Should’ve majored in art too, goddamnit, she curses, poking her lunch in a dazed stupor.

“Wan-ah!”

She scoffs at the familiarity, but Seulgi’s crescent moon grin makes Seungwan momentarily forget.

~~~~~~~~~~

The black cursive of Han Kang’s literature stares up at her as she tries to digest what she’s reading, but she swears her brain allocates the worst times for that sneaky Bae Joohyun to pop up like an unwanted advertisement. Seems like now, she’s going to have to sit through an entire trilogy.

Despite the crippling dread, Seungwan can’t help but wonder. They’re so silly, but she wonders them anyway. She feels free to let her mind wander in the safety of the university library.

Bae Joohyun; Seungwan’s mind is unchanged; she’s the most beautiful girl she’s laid eyes on. It’s a unique kind of beauty; mysteriously edgy, knife-like and femme fatale. The grin Joohyun gave her in class this morning, she knows she should be running from it, but it doesn’t stop the fact that it’s been playing in her head on repeat ever since.

Seungwan unintentionally imagines what it would be like to kiss that sunset-infused smirk right off her face.

Too bad she’s a mean one, she sighs.

She doesn’t get much further with the actual task at hand when her blood-pressure plummets; she watches leader of the killer senior pack, Bae Joohyun, artlessly sit down in the chair next to her. It’s like the world stops spinning for the second it takes their eyes to meet, and Seungwan quivers in her seat, thoughts of literature fleeing out the back of her brain.

Trying to be polite, she gives her a courteous nod and returns to her reading. But Joohyun just sits there, staring, peppering her body with smoking bullet holes – it frightens her in the weirdest way. She can’t help the tiny bubble of… excitement? At the fact that Hanyang’s notorious Bae Joohyun is sitting next to her. Probably to get close enough to kill her, of course, but she’d count her blessings, no matter how terrifying. The thread finally snaps, and Seungwan is able to channel her inner stone statue no more, wordlessly excusing herself and stumbling to the bathroom.

It’s empty and silent; exactly what she needs. She flicks some cool water over the burning in her cheeks and dabs at the heat welled in the corners of her eyes.

But just as she’s about to leave, Joohyun’s standing in the doorway; cloaked in all her intimidating aura and eclipsing her only exit.

“Bathroom break so soon?” Joohyun’s voice drips into her ears like melted honey as she observes a wry smile crawl onto her face, “we’ve barely gotten started. Let’s get back to work… partner.”

It’s kicking in only now what Joohyun is saying. And it takes everything Seungwan has to formulate a pathetic response.

“Oh right, a-about that,” she nervously chuckles, averting her gaze and scratching the back of her neck, “uh, I-I was just um… I don’t wanna drag anyone down with – you know because you’re a senior and all – was m-maybe thinking –”

She doesn’t get very far when Joohyun begins advancing, walking towards her with such sure, dominating strides Seungwan has no choice but to back away, the piercing squeaks of Adidas sneakers easily drowning out the clicking of Louboutin heeled boots. Joohyun sports that coy smirk the whole time she’s cornering poor Seungwan, further and further back, until…

A tiny yelp is torn from her as her back hits the wall. Seungwan strains up to meet her eyes, 5 inch boots are a very useful intimidation tool. Her heart feels about as fragile as sugar glass, and she thinks it would do her good to invest in those styrofoam packing peanuts and a roll of caution tape.

Joohyun observes the little caramel-haired mouse girl she’s caught; pressed against the cool, beige tile, both hands out in front of her, quivering like a jello pile. She quickly notes the way the top of Seungwan’s head just about grazes the bottom of the wall-mounted paper towel dispenser, and it stretches her grin even further. She looks irresistible, those doe eyes the colour of warm cocoa. Who knew she had a thing for sweet faces, well-intentions and weak-hearts?

Realising her hands aren’t doing anything to keep the other girl at bay, Seungwan drops them like a tonne of bricks - she’s never felt so small and helpless in her life. The rich scent of vanilla and mint tickles her nose; Joohyun’s too close, and she really needs those fragile stickers to go over the thumping in her chest. But she also wants to nuzzle in closer to that intoxicating shampoo smell.

“P-please… I-I didn’t mean to…”

Her voice sounds so tiny and fragile, it tugs on Joohyun’s heartstrings.

“You know who I am?” she demands in somewhat of a growl, caging the smaller girl in with both arms pressed on either side of her head, causing her to gasp out, “you’ve heard?”

Seungwan shrinks a little more, petunias searing onto her milky cheeks at the proximity, but terror-stricken nonetheless. It’s burning, and it’s too much.

A small ‘mm’ and a teary nod is all she can offer.

Joohyun shoots her a challenging smirk, a kaleidoscope of obsidian pebbles flicker in her darkened eyes as she brings a single finger under the girl’s chin, tilting her so she’s forced to look up.

“And you still think you have a choice?”

Seungwan wishes she could rear up at the challenge, hammer some humility into that smug attitude in front of her; put Bae Joohyun in her place. But who is she to change the way the world works? Girls like Joohyun toy with what they want, and get what they toy with; the natural order of things Seungwan has no hope of re-routing. Her resolve, her dignity and everything she’s built up in her 20 years on earth crumbles at her feet; she doesn’t bother picking up the pieces.

With that, she looks up at the girl who still has her locked in with her eyes alone, and meekly shakes her head.

Seungwan can finally breathe when Joohyun detaches herself from the wall and runs both hands down the front of her blouse. She hears a chuckle and before she knows it, there’s an arm around her waist, moving them in tandem.

She doesn’t see the triumphant smile etched into Joohyun’s rosebud lips, like she’s swallowed a coat hanger. All she knows is that they’re now bound by this assignment, and that Joohyun is leaving with exactly what she came for.

Seungwan hides a shy grin of her own.

#wenrene #university au #bully irene #red velvet #i got carried away #seungwan the cafe worker #seungwan doesn't mind #red velvet scenarios #red velvet imagines #kpop scenarios #girl group scenarios

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brianc521 · 5 years ago

Text

Gears of Love | Raul Mendes

Mechanic!Raul | OC!Juniper

Juniper Kelly’s biggest dream was to become a published author. It’d been her dream since high school when she posted a few Fanfiction pieces on a website dedicated for fanfic and got tons of hits right away. She had her own account and racked up a pretty big audience that always requested for more, and every so often left her words of encouragement.

She’d built her whole life around her dream once she graduated. She read every book she could get her hands on, she pushed herself to write things that were out of her comfort zone, she researched random topics in hopes of adding dimension to the characters she created.

She found inspiration in everything. It’s how she met the one thing that gives her the most inspiration, her boyfriend, Raul Mendes.

Raul Mendes was a young mechanic who has just recently taken over his father's auto body shop. Raul has always liked working with his hands, it’s the one thing that kept him out of trouble through his younger years. He was a triplet, and between him and his brothers he was the known bad boy. When they all turned 16 his brothers opted for a Jeep and a truck when he begged for a motorcycle. Fixing up his bike and constantly learning new things about the motor is what kept him interested in school.

They both met one day while Raul was out to coffee with his brothers. It hadn’t been the first time he’d seen her there. She often was spotted in the back corner seat of Amy’s Cold Brew Place, laptop out, headphones in, typing away.

It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him either. She’d unintentionally created a whole character based off Raul. The bad boy to the new story she was writing. Well, a bad soft boy. This time though Raul was sporting a new piece of metal in his lip, and it had her going crazy. She watched his mouth as he spoke to his brothers, the way he’d tongue at the curved jewelry in his lip.

One of the brothers, Shawn who she didn’t know was his name at the time, noticed her staring and nudged Raul’s arm and nodded in her direction bringing Raul’s attention to her fatuation. Causing her to go completely red in embarrassment and hide behind her laptop screen.

Raul on the other hand bit his lip in the smug way he does and saw this as his chance to ‘shoot his shot’.

“Couldn’t help but notice you stare.” His voice was so smooth but also rough and raspy. “Hope this doesn’t sound weird, but I’ve been staring too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Raul.” He offered his hand to shake, which she did with a nervous smile.

“Juniper, but my friends call me June.”

“Juniper? That’s really pretty, I’ve never met anyone with that name.”

“It’s weird I know.” She tucked her hair behind her ear.

“It’s not.” He shook his head, touching her fingers that were on the table to get her attention. “It’s truly beautiful.”

It was right then and there where they stole each others hearts.

“Juniper Baby?” Raul asked as he walked through the front door, throwing his keys and wallet on the table just inside the door.

“Living room.” She called out weakly from her camped out spot on the floor in the middle of the room. Surrounding her were books and loose pieces of paper.

“Hey Gorgeous.” Raul smiled as he walked in the room, finding his girlfriend in one of his sweatshirts with her hair in a messy bun.

He got a mumbled “Hi.” In return. He chuckled, knowing she was in a completely different world right now, with the way her fingers were flying across the keyboard. So instead of interrupting he’d wandered himself in the kitchen to make her a midnight snack.

With not having much talent in the kitchen he settled on grilled cheese with a granola bar and a glass of milk. He walked back into the living room, figuring out her maze to the center of her circle where she was sitting pretty quickly. Slowly he pushed her laptop closed, giving her plenty of time to move her fingers.

She looked up with wide eyes and smiled sheepishly. “Hi.” She whispered when he pushed the plate that holds her sandwich and granola bar into her hands.

“Hi Baby.” He leaned forward kissing her cheek. “Did you have dinner?”

“Um,” She says while taking a huge bite of her sandwich, “I nibbled.”

“On?” He rolled his eyes.

She turns and holds up a bowl full of dry cheerios.

“Baby, I know you’re in crunch time trying to finish before you meet with the publisher this week but you have to take care of yourself. You can’t meet with the publisher if you’re in the hospital after passing out for lack of nutrition.”

She sighs and nods at him.

“It’s like a job interview Baby. You have to make yourself look good. And if you go in looking like a skeleton they’re not gonna be impressed.”

“Okay.” She whines, looking down at her lap.

“Hey.” He tips her chin up. “I know my Baby can do it. I know she’s the best, she just has to know it too.”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.” He smiles, leaning a bit closer.

“I love you too.”

He kisses her lips softly, giggling as he pulls away. “You taste like cheese.”

“You taste like milk.” She replies.

“So,” He takes the last bite of his sandwich. “Can I read it yet?”

“No.” She shakes her head.

“Am I ever going to get to read this masterpiece?”

“If I have a say then no, you won’t ever get to read it.”

“What?” He gapes at her, frown pulling at his lips.

“You will read it, I just. I have to make it perfect first.”

He sets her plate aside crawling up to his hands and knees, causing her to lean back until she’s laying on the floor and he’s hovering over her. “It is perfect Juniper Baby, because you wrote it.”

She shakes her head, tapping his nose. “You’re just a sweet talker, I know your games Mendes.”

“Come on,” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to her neck. “Let me read it.”

“No.” She lets out breathlessly.

“Please.” He groans as he hikes her leg up over his waist, lips sealed to the skin behind her ear.

“No but you can keep doing that.”

“Oh can I?” He grins, hand trailing up and into her shorts. “Can I do this?” He strokes her heat from the outside of her panties, causing a friction that has her tugging at his hair and moaning into his ear.

“Yeah you can do that.”

“Mmm,” He pulls back to look at her blissed out eyes. “Let’s see what else I can do.”

After their raundeveous on her brainstorm notes she was sleepy and dreary eyed. Trying to fight herself to stay awake with him, but she’d had an early morning while he had a late night so he put her to bed when she dozed off on his chest. Tucked her in and kissed her forehead before heading back to the kitchen. He was still pretty wired from his stressful day at work and poured himself a small glass of whiskey.

Catching sight of the mail on the counter he took a sip of his drink and then opened the few envelopes they’d received. He sighed, setting his cup down, when he saw the electric check he had written just a week ago had bounced. Pinching the bridge of his nose he read that the few other checks he’d written for bills had bounced as well.

“Fuck me.” He mumbled, checking the bank statement he’d been emailed last night and groaned when he saw that he hadn’t been able to pay himself last week, spacing it completely since he’d already sent off the checks.

He stared at his phone that was laid out on the counter and cursed himself as he did the last thing he swore he’d ever do. He called Shawn.

“Raul? It’s like 1:30 in the morning, what are you doing up?”

“What are you doing up?”

“I’m writing a song, and you? Since I asked first?”

He grins, biting his lip as he looks to the bedroom door that was open just a hint. “Well I had a rather pleasing romp in the sheets with my girl before putting her to bed.”

“Oh gross I didn’t need to know that. Are you still in bed?”

“No what kind of animal do you think I am?”

“I’m not sure you want me to answer that.”

Raul laughs in response, letting the conversation with his brother calm him for the time being.

“But you called for a reason so what’s up?”

“Is there a chance I could meet you for coffee tomorrow morning? I need to ask you something but I want it to be in person.”

“Um sure, are you asking me to be a groomsman because I already through it was decided that I was your best man, Peter is mine, and you’re Peter’s.”

“I’m not asking you to be my best man,” Raul shakes his head. “Well, yet.”

“Oh we’ll be talking about that tomorrow too. I’ll meet you at Amy’s at 8?”

“Can we do 9? I wanna make sure the shop opens just fine.”

“Yeah that works, see you then.”

“Okay thanks.”

“Love ya bro, go to bed.”

“Love ya too. Goodnight.”

With that Raul hung up on Shawn and shook his head as he downed the rest of his whiskey and headed to bed.

Raul walked in the door to Amy’s at 9:26 rushing in to find Shawn, who was seated at a table with two coffee’s.

“Hey I thought you were gonna stand me up.” Shawn smiled as Raul slid into the table.

“Sorry, had an issue with a customer who was upset about the price for an oil change.”

“Doing oil changes now?” Shawn questions, sipping at his coffee.

“Yeah I needed more business so I expanded the services a little.”

“So, what’s up?”

“Okay, I need to blurt this out because I absolutely hate myself for doing this. I mean you don’t know how much I’m beating myself up over this. I feel like such a-”

“Hey, blurt it out.” Shawn cuts him off.

“Can I borrow some money?” Raul blurts, cringing at himself.

Shawn sets his cup down, and sits straighter. “Are you okay?”

Raul sighs and hangs his head. “The business is struggling this summer, I haven’t been able to pay myself for like a month now? And Juni, she’s working on her novel and baby sitting on the side, but her gigs aren’t bringing in enough, you know? I thought I had enough in my savings to last us, but after last month's rent and bills I’m drained out man. I’m trying so hard, I’m pushing myself to the breaking point, and I wrote checks for this months bills and,” He sighs shaking his head. “They bounced.”

“Raul.” Shawn sighed.

“I know, but when I wrote them the shop was making money so I was planning to pay myself but then we lost a few solid clients and I wasn’t able too. So they bounced and I don’t want to stress Juni out, she’s just now found a publisher and I’d hate myself if she didn’t go through with it to find a job. Just this once Shawn, and I’ll pay you back I swear.”

“Raul, breathe.”

Raul takes a few deep breaths and nods at his brother.

“How much?”

“$700?” Raul whispers, shoulders slouching. “I have enough to cover half the rent, but then there’s-”

“Shh.” Shawn shakes his head, pulling his wallet out. “I don’t need to know your bills and all that. Take this,” Shawn pulls out cash from his wallet. “And don’t even worry about it. I want to see June succeed in her writing. I want you to succeed at the shop, you’re both in the struggle stage before you’re gonna take off. I can see it. So take it, it’s my support for both of your dreams.”

“No I’ll pay you back. Thank you so much Shawn. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I do, I love you Raul, and I want to see you successful and happy.”

“I love you too Shawn.”

“Now get back to the shop.” Shawn smiles, showing his brother away.

Sitting in his office on his ‘lunch break’ Raul is able to pay off the bills since he’d deposited the cash Shawn gave him into his account on his way back to the shop. The moment everything balanced he was able to breathe deeply and not stutter on it.

“Where is he?” He heard from just outside his office.

“On lunch.”

Raul looked up when he heard the sound of heels clicking on the floor and then stood when Juniper walked in. She had her meeting with the editor and publisher today, meaning she’d borrowed her sisters suit and heels to dress to impress.

“Well?” He asked softly, in case it didn’t go well, but by the smile on her face he’d say it went just fine.

“They wanna publish it!” She yelled, running and jumping into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

“Oh my god Juniper Baby that’s awesome!” He cheered. She squeezed him tighter and squealed in his ear. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me Baby?”

“Because if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have gone for it. I wouldn’t have even started writing the book in the first place. I wouldn’t have had the chance to be able to write. I owe it all to you, so thank you. Thank you for believing in my dreams, and thank you for making them come true.”

“You made them come true Baby, I simply said that you could.”

She pulled back and held his cheeks in her hands as she kissed him passionately. “Any chance you can come home right now?” She mutters against his lips.

“You’re insatiable.” He grins, thinking back to the fun shower they’d shared this morning. “I would totally love to, but I kind of have to close the shop tonight. Connor’s Mom is throwing a surprise birthday party for his brother and he’s in charge of getting the cake.”

“Awe.” She whines, jutting her bottom lip forward. “Can you come right home after close?”

He sighs, looking at the stack of paperwork on his desk. When his eyes flick back to his girlfriend who is pleading with him. He can’t say no. I mean she’s getting her book published. “Yeah, the minute I close I’m out of here. Go home and get fancied up, I’m taking you to dinner.”

“Really?”

“Yes, my girl is gonna be a published author, she deserves to be wined and dined before she’s fucked and tucked.”

“Oh my god you did not just say that.” She hits his chest playfully, giggling as he tugs her close burying his face in her neck. “I hate you!” She laughs harder when he bites at her neck.

“You love me, don’t lie.”

“So tell me everything, start from the beginning.” Raul says now that the waiter has taken their orders.

She sits straighter, smiling at him with such hope in her eyes. “So the CEO of this small publishing company downtown emailed me about a week and a half ago about a manuscript I sent.”

“Mhm.”

“And she wanted me to come in with a second draft of the manuscript to meet with her and her editor. So that’s what my meeting was today. Her name is Carol Wilkins of Wilkins Stories. The editor, Jackson Perry was so kind about my work. He truly was able to grasp the essence of my characters and had wonderful notes that just expanded my work tremendously.”

“Wait so this is still your book right? You didn’t like sell the story?”

Her expression changes from excitement to horror so fast that he has to hold on to the edge of the table to stable himself.

“Why would you ever suggest such a thing? I’ve literally poured my heart and soul into this manuscript-”

“Hey,” Raul grabs her hand, bringing her back to him. “I’m not the bad guy, I’m just trying to understand this side of your world. My brain is wrapping around the idea of an editor. To me they just make sure spelling and punctuation is correct.”

“Well yes but they also help with subjects and making sure the flow of the book works.”

“Okay, I’m sorry I asked what I did, I'm just trying to understand. I’m going to have questions about this. I have no idea what you’re doing or how you do it. You’re magical to me.”

She blushes as she rolls her eyes at him. “I just see an idea and write it. Describe it. It’s nothing special.”

“I’d begged to differ. Although you haven’t let me read this certain book, you have let me read a few shorts you wrote and the fact that you can create another world, another timeline with just words is magic. It’s pure magic that you could make my heart race and break and sink to my stomach with the way a character felt.”

“You’re too much.”

“I’m not enough, clearly since I asked the horrid question I did.”

“Hey.” She squeezes his hand, brows furrowing. “Never say that to me again. You’re everything and more.”

He gives her the best smile he can, but he can’t help but feel pretty low about himself right now. The fact that he had to stoop so low and ask his multimillionaire brother for money is killing him inside. He wants to make her happy, he wants to support and take care of her. He just isn’t stable enough in the shop to do so yet. Once he’s able to be stable and pay Shawn back he’ll start to feel a little better but right now he’s feeling like a grade A loser.

Raul walks into the empty cold apartment with grease smeared along his brow. His strong jawline is clenched with the stress of the day he’s had, but he’s ready to shower and have a lovely dinner in with his girl.

“Juniper Baby?” He asks, not recalling if he’d seen her car in the garage.

Walking around noticing the lights are off he assumes she’s on her way from the publishing house. It’s Wednesday which was ‘Masked Singer’ nights, and also their designated date night. It’s a random day of the week to have a date night, but it’s the slowest day of the week for the shop therefore making it the only day Raul is comfortable having Connor close up for him.

He takes this time to jump into the shower real quick and get himself all put together for his lady, making sure to shave and add a little gel to his curls. He slips on a nice sweater, one of her favorites, and sets off to the kitchen to make her dinner.

As he’s plating the chicken alfredo and garlic bread he realizes how late she is on coming home. He checks his phone and doesn’t see any messages and that makes his heart beat a little quicker. Dialling her number he takes the plates to the beat up folding card table they have set as a ‘dining room’.

“Hey you’ve reached June, I’m not able to answer the phone right now but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can! Leave a message!”

He sighs as the tone sounds, “Hey Juni, just thought I’d let you know that dinner is served up for us. Um call me back when you get a chance. I can’t wait to see you, even though I’m sure you’ll walk through the door any minute. Okay I love you. Bye Baby.”

He clicks his phone off and goes to set the living room with a few blankets and pillows along with a few lit candles.

By 9 Raul’s pacing the apartment. He’s called her five times and every call has gone to voicemail. He’s scared because no one else has heard from her either.

When the sound of her key turning the lock on the door rings through the silent apartment Raul just about tackles her when she walks through the door. She yelps as he picks her up, sighing against her shoulder.

“Raul?” She asks confused as to what was going on.

“Are you okay?” He asks, pulling away to inspect her face. “Are you hurt? Was there an accident?”

“What?” She asks, “What are you talking about?”

“Why are you so late?” He takes a step back, arms flopping to his sides.

“I was editing with Jackson.” She takes her purse off and sets it on the table he puts his keys on. “He had this idea for-”

“But it’s date night.” He pouts. “I called you a bunch and texted you. You never responded.”

“You did?” She digs through her purse. “Oh Babe I’m sorry, I must have my phone on silent.”

“It’s still date night Juniper.” He crosses his arms. “You just bailed on me without saying anything?”

“It’s not da-” But when she looks at her phone seeing ‘Wednesday 9:07 pm’ flash on her screen she groans. “It’s date night. I’m sorry Babe. I had the days mixed up, I thought today was Tuesday.”

“I mean it’s cool if you want to bail, but at least tell me.” He says walking to the table and grabbing the two full plates of cold pasta.

“You made alfredo,” She whines. “That’s my favorite.”

“I know.”

“Raul I’m sorry.” She says grabbing his hand once he’s set the plates on the kitchen counter. “Honey I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I totally bailed on you and that’s not cool. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I need to go to bed.”

“No! Raul please.”

“Connor closed tonight which means I have to open, and I left a ton of paperwork because of date night. I need to make up that time I skipped tonight. So I have to go in early tomorrow.”

“How early?” She asks. “Because I have to go in early too. Let’s do a breakfast date, to make up for tonight.”

“I have to be in at 7.” He rubs his chin. “The shop doesn’t open til 9, but I could push to like 8 if you wanna do breakfast.”

She flops into one of the camp chairs that’s set up at the table. “I have to go in at 6, Carol wants to go over the changes before she leaves town for the rest of the week. But maybe lunch?”

“I can't, I have to work through lunch tomorrow because Connor has a dentist appointment.”

“Then can we do date night right now?”

“I have to go to bed Juniper.” He says putting his hands on his hips. “I’ve been up since 5 this morning, I have to be up at 5 again tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“I’ve started going to the gym with Shawn in the morning. We meet at 6 and I go straight from the gym to work. I told you this! I’ve been doing this for like 3 weeks now. Shawn’s only in town for so long.”

“You didn’t go on Monday, you stayed and we took a shower before my meeting.”

“Shawn had an early morning meeting, but we met for coffee.”

“You had time to meet Shawn for coffee on Monday but couldn’t leave early?”

“Yes I needed to ask him something.”

“What did you need to ask him?”

“Something about the business.” He waved her off, walking to the bedroom.

“What was it?”

“Does it matter?” He turns to her, watching the hurt flash across her face. “I’m taking a shower.”

“You took one when you got home. I can tell.”

“I want to take another, is that a crime? This gel shit makes my hair all gross, and I’m starting to become upset and need a moment to collect myself.”

“Okay, well, I’m gonna eat real quick and then can we talk about your day?”

“Sure.” He mumbled as he goes into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

“You never shut the door.” She whispers, staring at the closed bathroom door that's working well to divide them.

Raul only takes long showers when he’s upset or stressed and right now Juniper is worried it’s a combination of both considering it’s been almost an hour and a half and Raul is still in the bathroom.

She doesn’t want to invade on his personal time, but she’s really starting to worry.

“Raul, Baby?” She asks, knocking on the door softly.

“Yeah?” He croaks.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I come in? Join you maybe?” She asks, holding out hope that he’ll say yes.

“Um,” She hears him shuffling. “Sure.”

She smiles, knowing that her boy is still there. That he’s still with her, no matter how much she fucks up. She steps into the room quickly, stripping and slowly opening the curtain.

The sight she sees is like a sucker punch to the gut. Raul was standing under the shower head, curls stuck to his forehead, eyes red and puffy as if he’d been crying and his skin was bright red from the heat of the water.

“Baby.” She sighs, stepping in with him and turning the knob to turn the heat down a bit. “You’re gonna hurt your skin.” She whispers, hesitating to touch her.

“Okay.”

“Raul, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Please don’t lie to me. We’re already in rocky territory right now, let’s not make it worse.”

“We’re in rocky territory?” His voice cracks as he turns over his shoulder to peer at her.

“Are we?”

“You tell me?”

“Raul,” She sighs, shaking her head. “You have to tell me. I’m the one who fucked up here. I’m the one who forget about date night, I’m the one who ditched you. I’m the one beating myself up, so please tell me, are we?”

“I don’t think so.” He shakes his head. “And you don’t need to be beating yourself up. It’s okay Baby. I understand that you got caught up, and there’s been a lot on your plate suddenly. I’m so proud of you for doing this. There is just a lot going on at work right now, I’m struggling with the shop and I’m not dealing with it well.”

“What’s going on at the shop?” She asks, touching his bare back.

He relaxes at her touch, melting back into her. She slides her hands from his back around to his chest, stepping forward to hug him from behind. Resting her head between his shoulder blades, kissing at the red skin for a moment.

“Business went down when word spread that my dad retired. No one thinks I can handle the shop the way he did. No one thinks I can run the place. They all think I’m some delinquent, and not the one who was running the place a full year before Dad retired.”

“You are not delinquent.” She gasps, slipping around him to be face to face.

“Yeah well tell that to my tattoos and piercings.”

“What do tattoos and piercings have to do with how well you can work? With how successful you are?”

“I don’t know!” He cries. “Ask the fucking boomers.”

“Okay, boomer.” She snorts, remembering a reference her nephew said when she’d gone over to borrow her sisters suit. “Honestly Babe,” She plays with the slight dusting of chest hair he has. “I think you’re amazing at what you do. You understand everything with engines and motors so perfectly. You haven’t seen one car that you haven’t been able to fix. If your Dad’s old clients can’t see that, then they’re not the clients for you. It’s time to go out and find your own. I know you can do it.”

“I love you.” He sighs, tucking his face into the crook of her neck and shoulder. “You make everything better.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry I wasn’t here tonight to say this sooner. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s okay Baby.” He gives her a peck. “But I seriously need to go to bed. Shawn’s gonna kick my ass tomorrow if I’m dragging.”

She laughs and nods, turning the water off and stepping out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself before wrapping one around him.

With the persona Raul gives off to the public, no one would peg him as the jealous type. He just holds this confidence in the way he goes about his life. To truly know Raul, you know that he deep down has a hint of insecurity that can manifest and spin out of control.

He’s slowly starting to spin.

He’s yet to be able to pay Shawn back, and he knows within the next two weeks another bout of bills is going to roll in. If he doesn’t hit some sort of luck of gold he’s not gonna have enough to pay them again. He won’t go back to the bank of Shawn.

Peter has just been accepted into an internship that will, within a few years, lead him into the doors of Nasa just like he’s always dreamed off. Shawn’s been nominated for a Grammy, again, and his third world tour is almost over. Aaliyah has been accepted into University of Toronto to study Cinema Studies. Juniper is editing everyday, now seeing plans for book jackets and talking about a book signing tour.

While Raul, well Raul is resorting to handing out $5 off slips in the local grocery stores to drum up more business. He’s just feeling less and less of himself, watching those most important around him start to grow while he’s plateauing.

With all of this going on, it doesn’t help that his girlfriend comes home late at night after spending the day with Jackson. He’s all she can talk about now. ‘Jackson this’, ‘Jackson that’, Raul is slowly starting to lose his goddamn mind.

Peter sits in his office while he waits for him to be done charging a new client for the rock chip fix they completed on the front windshield. When he goes to his office he feels like he can breathe deeply again when he sees his brother there.

“So how are you doing?” Peter asks when Raul sits. “I haven’t heard from you lately.”

“Um, I’m really fucking stressed out.”

“What do you mean?”

“There is so much going wrong that I can’t keep up.”

“What do you mean?” Peter asks, sitting forward. “Why haven’t you asked for help?”

“I have.” He groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You have?”

“I asked Shawn.”

“Oh.” Peter leans back, a bit hurt that he wasn’t asked.

“No Pete, not like that. It’s not like that.” Raul shakes his head. “I couldn’t pay rent.” He mumbled, not making eye contact with his brother. “And as much as it disgusted me, I felt more comfortable asking Shawn for money.”

“Oh Raul.” Peter leans forward to squeeze his brothers hand for a brief moment, letting him know that he’s there for him. “Are you okay?”

“I mean no, I’m not. It fucking sucked. It fucking sucks that I might not be able to pay rent next month either.”

“What’s going on? Are you not making money?”

“Well we lost a lot of clients when Dad announced his retirement, and because of that business dropped significantly. I’m working on bringing some back, but it’s taking longer than I expected.”

“Can I help at all?”

“Know about $4000 worth of cars that need fixing?”

“Well no,” Peter shakes his head. “But like, can us as a family help?”

“Well,” Raul rubs the slight stubble on his chin. “Loretta is planning to retire,” He says, talking about the front desk receptionist. “I was thinking of asking Li if she’d be interested. I mean, she could work around class, and I’d be real flexible, school comes first.”

“Totally, and if you need another mechanic I can jump in and help. More hands mean more cars right?”

“No, Pete you just got that internship.”

“Yeah, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.” Peter shrugs. “I ain’t got nothing going on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.”

“Are you sure?”

“Totally, and like you can pay me minimum, I don’t need a whole lot. Plus I know you hate the new kid you hired. Brock right?”

“Yeah,” Raul sighs. “I mean he shows a bit of potential but like he’s so arrogant, and rude to customers. He’s driving away business.”

“So get rid of him, bring me on, keep Connor. And we’ll make it a family business again.”

“Are you sure Pete? Because I don’t want to overwhelm you, you’re dreams need to come before the shop.”

“No don’t do that.” Peter shakes his head. “The shop is your dream. My dreams aren’t superior to yours.”

“Let me talk to Li before we make any final plans okay?” Raul says, standing to hug his brother, because it feels like a weight was just completely lifted from his shoulders.

“Hey!” Aaliyah cheered when she looked up to see Raul walking into her bedroom. She hadn’t know he was coming over.

“Hey Kid.” He smiled, catching her as she leapt into his arms for a hug. “How you doing?”

“I’m good, staying busy.” She laughs, sitting back on her bed while Raul sits in the chair that sits at her vanity.

“How busy?”

“Um, just school and hockey.”

He nods, and looks around her room to stall.

“What’s up Raul? Why’d you stop by?”

“Can’t want to see my baby sister?” He asks looking back at her again.

“You can, if you ever did.” She giggled. “So what’s up?”

“Hey, I want to see you all the time.” He objects.

“Raul, you’re stalling. I know you, what’s up?”

“You want a job?” He blurts, eyes wide.

“What?” She breathes out.

“Fuck me,” He groans. “Okay what I meant to say is, Loretta at the shop is retiring, but she told me she’d wait until I found her replacement before she left the shop. She’s all worried with Dad retiring and now her that I’ll be left alone and screw the whole shop up. I know that’s not the case, but as I was thinking about replacing Loretta, I realized that all the people I’ve had to replace doesn’t make the shop feel like home anymore. It doesn’t feel like a family. I’d like to get back to that. So,” He shrugs, “If you’re looking for a job, that you can have through college, I’d love for you to join me at the shop as the receptionist.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think you’d be really good at it. You know everything there is to know about the shop already, you know most of the customers. I’d be there with you everyday, Pete a few days out of the week.”

“Wait, Pete?”

“Yeah Pete talked to me about taking Brock’s shifts because his new internship is only three days a week. He’s willing to help out, and it’ll give him practice on working on motors before he goes all pro and starts working for Nasa.”

“I hate that Brock guy, he’s a creep.”

“He is, he’d be completely gone if you join us. I don’t want you around him, or really vice versa.”

“But I’ll have class.”

“And as your super proud older brother I’d much rather you go to class than to the shop. So if you did decide to join us, I’d be totally flexible to your schedule. We can switch it up anytime we need to, like if you feel you need more time to study one week that’s perfectly fine. If you want more hours because you don’t have so much going on, then you’ll have them. Whatever you want, I'll give you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I want you Li. I miss seeing you everyday, and I think you’d be a great asset to the shop I’m trying to run.”

“Okay, yes. I’m in.”

“Oh my god!” Raul cheers, jumping up to hug his sister. “Yay! I can’t wait.”

“So what else is going on? I saw June like two weeks ago and she seems busy.”

“She is.” Raul nods. “She’s really busy.”

“You sound, bitter? About that.” She says, trying to figure out what the right word is to describe Raul’s reaction.

“I just,” He sighs. “I just feel a little jealous I guess. She spends so much time with Jackson, her editor. He’s literally all she talks about when she’s home. I can’t go two sentences without the guys name being in there. I love her to death, and their closeness scares me a little.”

“Raul, no, she loves you.”

“Lately, I’ve been worried about that. I just feel so inadequate. This Jackson guy has so much to offer her. I mean he’s her editor to start, but like he also knows what the fuck she talks about 99% of the time. While I’m over here floundering because she’s talking hyperbole's and foreshadowing. I mean I stay up late just to look those fucking words up because I don’t remember jackshit from school.”

“But you care Raul, I mean you’re looking the words up for heaven's sake.”

“I’m just a mechanic Li, not even a good one at that. How am I any help to her. I don’t read, ever, and I can’t proof her shit because I don’t know what that entails. I mean she doesn’t even let me read her work anyway, that’s how ashamed she is.”

“She is not ashamed of you Raul. You mean so much more to her than you even know. It’s astounding the way she speaks about you. I can’t even begin to do it justice because I can’t. You’re everything to her, you just need to listen when she tells you so.”

“I don’t know Li.”

“I think you need to talk to her about this. I think she needs to know how you’re feeling. How is it supposed to get better when the person you’re stressed over doesn’t even know your stressed about them?”

“Yeah I guess you’re right.”

“Then go home and talk to her, please.”

“It is date night, maybe I’ll talk to her tonight.” He nods, kissing his sisters cheek as a goodbye as he starts to leave. “I’ll text you when I’ve fired Brock, I don’t want you to start until he’s gone.”

Raul checks his phone as he gets in his car, noticing he’s got a few texts.

iMessage from Superstar Shawn: Okay loser, Petey’s coming by tonight for pizza and beer to watch the game. Be there or be square.

iMessage from Pete’s Dragon: What did Li say?

iMessage from My Juni <3: Hey, sorry honey I can’t make it home in time for date night tonight. Carol wants to talk book jacket bio

Raul rolls his eyes, replaying her ‘it won’t happen again’ back in his head. He knows he shouldn’t be upset and grumpy over this. Her dreams are coming true and that’s all he’s ever wanted for her. He just didn’t realize for her dreams to come true, their relationship would be put on hold.

iMessage to Superstar Shawn: I’ll be there

iMessage to Pete’s Dragon: I’ll tell ya tonight.

Raul has distanced himself a bit from Juniper, not wanting to ask the dire questions he needs answered in the slight chance that he won’t get the answer he wants. The ‘what if’ is too grave for him to risk.

Since she’s cancelled on him twice now for date night, in favor of working on her book he just feels like right now that’s the most important thing in her life. He’s trying to allow her to let that be important without her having to worry about anything else that’s going on in their lives at the moment.

The distance is something that’s taking a toll on Juniper. She’s been asked to write a more in-depth version of one of the last chapters of her book, and since the inspiration for the book seems to be super far away, she’s in the worst block she’s ever had.

“Juniper, go home.” Jackson says. “You need the night with him, actually you need like a week straight alone with him.”

What Juniper didn’t expect to find when she walked in the door was Raul hunched over the table, head in his hands as he reads through a bunch of paperwork.

“Hey.” She says softly, hoping not to startle him. “What’s all this?” She asks, referring to the opened envelopes all over the table.

“Nothing.” Raul grunts. “What’s wrong? Why are you home?”

“Hi, nice to see you too Dear.” She pokes his shoulder, teasingly. “I wanted to spend some time with you. I miss my boyfriend.”

“Well he’s always here Juniper.” Raul spits, shrugging off her hands that had started to massage his shoulders. She stares at the back of his head appalled that he’d called her Juniper, not Juniper Baby.

“I know, and I appreciate that. I’m always here for you too.” She plants a kiss to his mop of curls.

“No you’re not.” He stands, grabbing the papers in a rush. As he turns to walk out of the dining room area that leads to the kitchen, he drops a paper. Juniper reaches down to grab it for him, but looks at it first.

“What is this?” She gasps. “A final notice?”

“Give me that.” Raul turns on his heel in a hurry to snatch the paper form her.

“Wait, is this our phone bill?” She steps out of his reach as she continues to read the bill.

“No!” He reaches for it again.

“Wait-” She stops him, pulling the other bills from his hands. Watching as he sighs in defeat, hanging his head. “Almost all of these are final notices.”

“Yeah well.” He scratches the back of his neck as she siffles through papers.

“Raul,” She looks up at him. “Why didn’t you tell me about this? I thought we were in this together, no?”

At this Raul snaps, his spin spins out of control and he loses it all.

“Me too!” He raises his voice. “But lately you haven’t been here! I’ve been here,” He points to his chest. “Me, I’ve been here. And guess what Juniper, we’re fucking broke. News flash, you’re 16 hour days of editing are unpaid.”

“Hey.” She says softly.

“I can’t do it on my own anymore. I mean fuck, the shop is just now starting to make money again. This is the first month I’ve been able to pay myself since I took over. We can finally make this month’s rent by the skin of our teeth.”

“Wait.” She stops him, now starting to ramp up to his anger. “If you’ve just now been able to pay yourself, then how have we paid rent the four months we’ve lived here?”

“Well the first two months totally drained my savings, and last month I had to go to Shawn.”

She gasps as she looks at him. She takes a step back, eyes wide, mouth agape. “You what?”

“I had to, what else was I going to do?”

“Talking to me about it would have been a good start. You didn’t Raul, you didn’t drain everything?”

“How were we going to pay rent?” He exclaims, waving his hands around. “Hate to say it, but this hellhole we live in that barely has heat and no dishwasher is expensive.”

“Raul,” Her eyes go misty. “I can’t believe you.”

“What? What did I do now? Sorry I’m not fucking perfect okay? I was just trying to be enough so you could live out your dream. But I couldn’t fucking do it on my own, as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t.”

“We were supposed to do it together Raul.” She sighs, shaking her head.

“How?” He laughs desperately. “How was I supposed to help make your dreams come true in any other way? Hmm? I’m not Jackson, Juniper. I can’t edit your writing, I mean you won’t even let me read it. I get it, I’m not smart like you. I don’t read and write, I understand you don’t want me to read your work. The least I can do, to feel somewhat adequate in this relationship was to make sure you weren’t worried about money.”

“What?” She stares at him. “What do you mean feel adequate in this relationship?” She stands appalled at the words he’s just spoken.

“I mean, what else am I to you?”

“The love of my life.” She cuts him off. “How could you think otherwise? Raul I don’t need you to be able to edit my work. I don’t need you to read or be anything you aren’t. I need you to be you. I need you.” She wipes away the tear that’s rolling down her cheek. “I can’t believe I’ve made you feel that way. You’re everything to me. I haven’t let you read my work, but not because I don’t want you to. Or that I think you’re not smart enough, or some bullshit like that. Because that’s, that’s utter bullshit. Raul I haven’t let you read my book because it’s about you, and I’m scared that it’s not perfect enough to show you yet.”

“It’s what?” Raul deflates, falling back into the counter a little.

“It’s about you. It’s a love story between a young author and a mechanic.” She digs through her backpack that she set next to the table when she walked in. She grabs a book and hands it to him. “This is the first printed copy. It’s not the actual copy we’ll print because we’re still adding scenes. But this was my manuscript I sent in. Carol printed it for me so I can have both this copy and the edited copy to compare.”

Raul stares at the book in her hands, at the book jacket that reads ‘Gears of Love’. She holds it out to him, and gently he takes the book. He turns it over to read the back summary that reads.

A love story like no other. Can dreams really lead you to the rest of your life? Follow Katie Fallon, an aspiring author who meets Bryce Mills when her car breaks down on her way home from the library one night. Bryce is the local mechanic who tows Katie's car back to his shop. It’s a tale for the ages as Katie consistently bumps into Bryce around town, and Bryce falls head over engines for the cute girl that dotted her I’s with hearts.

“You dot your I’s with hearts.” Raul looks up, staring into Juniper’s eyes.

“When you read the book you’ll find out that Bryce has a head of brown curls, and the most annoying brothers Katie’s ever met. It doesn’t mention it in the summary, but Bryce is a triplet.”

“You wrote a book about me?” Raul whispers, eyes lighting up.

“Yeah, you inspired me the first day you ever walked into Amy’s. I started writing this book then. After our first date the whole idea just took off, and with every day I’ve spent with you after this book has grown more and more. Honestly, I’m writing the sequel right now.”

“A sequel?” He smiles.

“It’s why I’ve been spending so much time with Jackson, rewriting the end of this book so I can lead into the sequel seamlessly.”

“Oh Juniper Baby.” He coos, bending his knees enough to pick her up and hauled her into his chest. “You’re amazing.”

“I love you so much Raul. I’m sorry I’ve made you feel otherwise.”

“No Baby, I should have talked to you about it sooner.”

“I should have been talking to you about all of this from the get go, and I shouldn’t have cancelled another date night.”

“Stop.”

“No you stop, I’m apologizing.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Raul.” She pulls back to look at him. “I want-”

“If the next word out of your mouth isn’t cuddles then you might as well just not say anything. Because I’m gonna take you into our bedroom, and cuddle the shit out of you while I explain to you all the changes I made to the shop, and how we need to, as a couple, figure out our saving plan. Okay?”

“Okay.” She nods.

“First give me a kiss?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

This book is dedicated to my amazing boyfriend Raul. He’s my daily inspiration and without his love and support this book would have never happened. This is all for you Honey, I love you!

Raul cried when she gave him his very owned signed copy, reading the dedication in the front broke the tears from his eyes.

“Oh Juniper Baby.” He whined, turning around hugging her as she hands the rest of his family their copies as well. “I can’t believe you.”

“Ha! Raul you’re the dedication.” Aaliyah laughs, reading the page. “That��s so sweet.”

“It was the least I could do.”

“Babe,” Raul shakes his head. “You just bought us a new TV.”

“Well, I mean you needed something to go with your new Xbox.”

“You got a new Xbox?” Peter pipes up.

“Yeah was gonna invite you over for a game night this week.” Raul smiles, wiggling his eyebrows at Peter. “Since she’s forcing me to keep it after I’ve told her a thousand times to take it back.” He gives Juniper a look.

“I wanted to get you something, now shut up about it.”

“I’m in.” Peter nods dumbly.

“Y’all I better have an invite, it’s been awhile since I beat your ass at Fifa.” Aaliyah shoved her brothers shoulders.

“Will Shawn be in town?” Juniper asked.

“Um, I think he gets back in town Wednesday.” Peter said. “So does Thursday work?”

“Works perfect for me.” Aaliyah speaks up.

“Yeah we can hang after work.” Raul nods.

“How’s the shop Raul?” Manuel asks.

“It’s going really well, we made almost $6000 more than we were projected to this last month. Was able to give everyone a bit of a bonus for hanging in there and getting us through the tough times. But it’s good. Business is racking up for holidays.”

“Yeah we have like 6 oil changes scheduled for tomorrow and Peter’s still working on that Jeep while Raul’s working on a Motorcycle for some primo guy from the Hamptons right?” Aaliyah smiles.

“Yeah shipped his bike all the way here because I happened to work on one of his buddies bikes a few weeks back. He’s paying top dollar for parts and labor. It’s a good deal, and it’s a nice bike to work on.” Raul nods.

“I’m proud of you Raul, you really turned the shop around. I knew you were the perfect fit.”

“Hmm,” Juniper smiles, rubbing Raul’s back. “I feel like I’ve said that a time or two.”

“I know,” Raul nods. “Thank you for believing in me.”

“Thank you for believing in me.” She smiles.

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