#please don't ask me how this happened

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[accirax]

🌟🍬🤖🎈Congrats to Wonderlands x Showtime for finishing their 4x4!🌟🍬🤖🎈

[griem]

ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.

#opinion 😱 in tags

[todayisafridaynight]

rate the outfit

[wizardsix]

ok... so I have finally finished veilguard after about 90 painful hours (two playthroughs). im not gonna write an actual review about all of my detailed thoughts bc it'll actually take days, this is just to at least get my general thoughts out and see if anyone else feels the same or if ive actually lost it.

overall it is the weakest dragon age game story-wise, and I'd give it a nice lukewarm 4/10.

(i wrote this post right after I finished the game on the weekend so maybe I sound a bit harsh, I tried to edit it to be more reasonable lol but I didn't really want to delete this since I do still stand by a lot of this)

I really tried to go in with an open mind, bc I always want to experience media in full before making any kind of judgement, but about a few hours in I had this horrible feeling that once again this was another soulless, rushed game, and I still don't feel any different after finishing the game.

what stuck out to me was that there's no sense of urgency despite what the plot is, serious topics are not treated with care as the writing overall is shallow, and the gods as well as any other enemy you encounter are just cartoon villains (and apparently the lore retconning, but I'm not well-versed enough to dissect that so I won't).

I can't take this plot seriously when it feels so disjointed and forced and lazy. and I see no point in caring about anything when choices literally don't matter. no say in who you recruit, no say in the relationships with them and they have almost no awareness of rook, definitely doesn't matter if you have allies or not bc they show up anyway, and only four companions are locked into unavoidable decisions where one of them bites the dust no matter what (which is strange bc why are harding and davrin forced to die no matter if they're at hero status while bellara and neve can literally survive blight if they're at hero status), so it's impossible to try to strategize for better (or worse) outcomes with all the people you've gathered when there's only one right answer that the game pretty much tells you instead of letting you think for yourself (and side note this game does an incredible amount of hand holding). the game actively tries to trick you into thinking your choices matter with the onscreen notifications, but nothing matters bc the devs clearly had only one story in mind and for some reason lied that it had "complex choices".

also rook in general wasn't interesting as a protagonist bc they were written to be perfect. they always know what to say and are so supportive of everyone. they never struggle with anything. not even with leadership beyond "man leading a team is hard :/" but it doesn't actually show how hard it is by having actual volatile conflict between the companions* or showing how their plans sometimes fail. which, if we actually had choices that mattered, would have helped develop that struggle. also? what's with everyone being so friendly? I'm not gonna get into that but everyone is so eerily nice and it's been said a lot but yeah, the world is extremely sanitized and devoid of any real conflict aside from the gods I guess.

*(like off the top of my head cassandra fighting with varric and accusing him of not being on their side or how the inquisitor can literally punch dorian and solas if approval is low enough or fenris and anders bordering on killing each other is not the same as lucanis and davrin distrusting each other or people being uncomfortable with emmrich's necromancy. it just scratches the surface of conflict and never goes anywhere)

and let me say real quick again, there's nothing wrong if they wanted to make a more rigid story about being a hero. it's been done a million times and it can be executed well, but if you do that you need to make sure you 1) don't lie to people and 2) actually flesh out your (especially main) characters and plot to give people a reason to care. look at dragon age 2. hawke is a fixed protagonist with their own life front and center. they ultimately only have two choices (siding with mages or templars), but it works bc the game took time to build up the conflict straight from act 1 so by the time chaos happens in act 2 and 3 you understand why bc it's Been brewing the whole time. it just makes sense. the villains as well have sound reasons and feel real instead of being evil just bc. the story is more grounded, yet you have choices. you decide if hawke ends up alone or not. you decide how they approach situations with force or diplomacy. there's none of that in veilguard. a game that supposedly took 10 years to make. when dragon age 2 took almost 16 months (yes I know da2 also has problems like the fact that the templars are always proven right but this isn't the place to dissect that).

I want to be fair though and I do want to restate what I enjoyed about the game. the cc (though would it kill them to have more variety in face textures like age and body types beyond average.. also no colour wheel... especially since they claimed their cc was so good), the map progression/visuals/exploration (how certain places become more blighted overtime), the factions (though I feel there should have been more content for your faction, and helping them or not should have mattered more), the combat (did not feel like a slog, pretty fun and mindless), the companions (bellara, davrin, emmrich, harding, and lucanis had solid personalities and stories despite my complaints. neve was not memorable and I just feel sad for taash's bad writing), certain parts of the story were good, the intro and the point of no return sequences were solid, and the ending didn't feel rushed or boring compared to inquisition. and yes, I do appreciate that rook can be trans, I just think a little more subtly and care would've been nice.

another thing I did like and predicted was that varric died at the beginning of veilguard, and for a second I actually enjoyed that because i thought we were finally (a bit too late tho) getting some depth to rook and their own struggles of accepting his death and carrying this weight without him. and while I do think maybe they should've taken more time to establish the mentor/mentee relationship so we really feel rooks regret, I still think it was at least the right direction where in their grief they still see him, giving advice and narrating their journey.....but then it turned out to just be solas manipulating them the whole time, immediately destroying any emotional weight this reveal had.

whenever bioware has good ideas they shoot themselves in the foot and make it about solas. it's like nothing in the world exists without solas being involved somehow, and that is just incredibly boring and uninspired to me. not to mention solas just being an insufferable ass the whole time, which is fine, but it's not even in a compelling way like he used to be. he became so ugly by the end and the fact that the devs consider redeeming him the "good ending" and not giving him what he deserves is very telling and once again shows their own bias is king over good storytelling (solas' feelings should not come into play here, whether you/your companions live or die should determine good/bad ending since solas is trapped no matter what, only difference is who is trapped with him. idk but I personally think different endings actually means different outcomes). i will not go into the bs of the secret post credit scene, bc frankly I'm fed up with bioware's shitty writing and I won't be playing their next world ending space aliens game (unless they miraculously pull a good story out of their ass but lbr).

overall the bad outweighs the good for me. it's fun to play as a game, it's a decent fantasy game, but the story just doesn't do anything for me. sometimes I wonder if dreadwolf was a completely different game and was scrapped for veilguard last minute. maybe this was yet another inevitable industry fuck up and maybe there was a good story planned at one point. idk. all I know is bioware lied. respect and credit to the poor devs and writers who actually cared and to those who were kicked from the project, but in the end bioware promised too much and delivered too little.

[darkwood-sleddog]

more and more i become of the opinion my dogs are not reactive to strange dogs but in fact it is unreasonable to expect them to NOT be reactive when the dogs we pass are unwalked, understimulated rural hellions that thrash at the windows of their houses, bark at us and follow us for entire lengths of properties, snarl at us, run at us with tense body language etc.

is this because a neighbor (who does skijor!) moved in half mile down the road from us a half a year ago with the most polite, unreactive dog that my dogs glance calmly at as they walk by? as it is unrestrained (no underground fence) on the property? absolutely is.

is this because a few years ago a neighbor's very nice pitbull mix got out and when it walked up to us with polite calm body language my dogs reacted just as calm and we were able to walk this dog home? absolutely is.

like i am a human woman and have lived in areas with much larger populations than i do now. i remember being followed by strangers, yelled at by strangers in aggressive ways. it made me tense and yes...reactive in those moments to ensure my own safety and needs were met. but was it my fault for having to react that way? To call friends and family and be on the phone any time that i walked alone? to check in when i got to where i was going? to bring pepper spray and iron knuckles to walk less than 10 minutes away from home? I don't think it is. Rather it's the failure that allows that behavior towards me which is at fault. i should not have had to carry those things with me. or call a single soul.

same with my dogs. my dogs aren't reactive, i'm just the only person who walks my damn dogs in my rural neighborhood. even though we can walk for 4+ miles either way on safe dirt roads out of our driveway before we reach pavement. nobody else. walks. their. fucking. dogs. yes i manage my dogs behaviors, it can be embarrassing when they get riled up, but know what? it is not their fault so many other dogs fucking SUCK. and it is not those dogs' fault that they suck either. i encountered more politely behaved dogs when i lived in the suburbs and city than i do now because those dogs at least had some sort of experience with being around other dogs (passing them on the sidewalk even) out of necessity. Rural people truly just throw their dogs outside and expect that to be enough. if you're lucky they install a little underground fence that will maybe keep fido in the yard (like uwu WE don't want to have a look at a fence and we're going to make all our neighbors GUESS if our dog might run into the road at them uwu).

[lizzybeeee]

Friendly reminder the Dragon Age Devs AMA is happening later today for all you Americans out there! Consider me very impressed that a majority of the questions with the greatest upvotes are quite critical of the game!

I linked it below!

[ducktoonsfanart]

WARNING!

I ask that in the future no one asks me for donations and helping civilians, not because I don't want to, but unfortunately I am not able to help others or send donations. I really get spammed on this blog, and this blog is for art, not donations. Let's face it, I'm on the side of Palestinian children and civilians who are not terrorists and are experiencing an accident and are experiencing genocide and it's really horrible what's happening right now in Gaza or in Palestine. But really don't ask me about such things in the future, and don't spam me with these messages. I'm in solidarity with you, but don't be pushy and boring, if you need to, leave your messages on my main blog here: https://ducklooney.tumblr.com/

And I will leave them here without deleting them, so whoever wants to send a message to others and share further, so whoever can send donations. The only thing I can do is to pray to God to stop such atrocities. Nothing more unfortunately. And I know how it is, but I also know that when I was a little boy, I also lived through the horrors of war and bombings, but unfortunately we did not receive any foreign donations nor did we disturb others about it.

Please don't send me those messages in the future, I'll just delete it, put it on my main blog, because this is my side blog and the main blog for my art. By the way, if you're interested, here's my drawing in support of the Palestinians: https://ducktoonsfanart.tumblr.com/post/753481172031586304/donald-duck-daisy-duck-and-drake-mallard-with

I ask for your understanding and that you understand me. Because I just don't like my blog to be flooded with donation messages all the time. ONCE AGAIN I HAVE NO MONEY FOR DONATIONS. BUT I WILL SUPPORT YOU! JUST DON'T BE BORING PLEASE! LET THE WAR STOP ASAP! SORRY! FREE PALESTINE!

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

re: the last post i reblogged bc i am realizing just how much i yapped in the tags and i do not wish to subject the wider tumblr public to that rant LMAO

[highlyillogicalandroid]

I'm never going to financially recover from this.

But seriously. A vet visit for two sick cats, totaling $671, and my pet insurance reimbursed...$35. I pay $25 a month for this!!! What is the point???

Anyway, I truly hate to ask, but if anyone would like to help me pay this off, I would be eternally grateful. I'll even write you a little fic of your choosing as a thank-you. Just message me and ask <3

[aces-to-apples]

Think whatever you want, I just know Kieran is spending Veilguard bopping around Ferelden putting out fires and fighting darkspawn with King Dad, truly fulfilling the Theirin family curse tradition of learning what it means to be prince (and eventually king) of Ferelden in the most dogshit circumstances available

[beanghostprincess]

Do you think there’s a chance OPLA will make non canonical ships into canon? I saw people noticing zo/lu got a lot more obsessed with each other scenes together and said it’s possible. Or mish/anks with how the actor openly supports the ships, with likes, comments, being open to fan bringing it up. What do you think?

Nah 😭 First things first, I HIGHLY doubt our dearest (sarcastically) (derogatory) Net*lix is going to make queer couples if it's not necessary. We're lucky we didn't get the show canceled with the amount of sapphic energy Nami and Kaya had going on, honestly. Two girls holding hands is enough to get a show canceled on that platform. And if they do make queer couples canon they're not going to be between the main characters, keeping in mind how much they're risking doing so.

And also,, I don't want any of the ships to be canon, either. The whole point is to not make romance between the straw hats in canon so it doesn't take the spotlight of their development and you view their dynamics however you want. I'd be annoyed if something as awesome as the next arcs that are to come get sidelined because Net*lix wanted romance. I mean, I wouldn't be annoyed if they made Namivivi canon or at least confirm some main characters to be queer, but it just feels like they'd do it to put their "we are so woke and cool we made your favorite character LGBT" pin and then... Do nothing about it later. As per side characters, idk, maybe there are some non-canon couples here and there and I don't really care but I wouldn't want it to be with the main characters. Especially with Luffy. Do not touch Luffy.

Luffy has such deep bonds with all characters in different ways, and you can see them as romantic, but making it canon just takes away that magic by putting a label on his feelings, something that I feel he wouldn't even do.

Worst case scenario they make Vivi x Koza or Zoro x Nami canon because if Net*lix doesn't have its daily unnecessary romance in shows it dies or smth.

So I don't think it's happening and I don't even want it to happen. The next arcs are so damn good and I really don't want to have to deal with ship wars or shit like that next season.

[tubbytarchia]

Points at my pinned message. There's a message there in bold. I'm sorry I don't clarify that I'm talking about CHARACTERS ONLY in posts that I don't maintag. I presume if you're on my blog to see these posts at all, you would already know as much. CHARACTERS please... just characters.... I've acknowledged that CC Jimmy is not bothered by the bullying many times. I'm very aware... I'm talking about characters......................

[evilcokito]

COCO WHATEVER YOU WROTE ABOUT SERIAL KILLER CATER JUST KNOW IM STILL GOING INSANE THANKS-

it’s so funny…. An angel and a killer…. We really going for the opposites here my dude

BUT COCO OK YOU THINK YOU’RE BIG SNUGGLING UP IN ANGEL SAM’S WINGS AS YOU TYPE THIS???

Man’s probably going to kill whoever slightly inconvenienced you in front of your face, but he’s going to gently turn you around, pull you into his chest. Shielding you from the blood splatter with his snowy white wings, unfolding them only when the corpse has been splattered into a stain on the pavement. Why the horrified look, darling?

Feathered wings dripping with blood, locking you deeper into a cage of your own making.

You’ll rue the day you accepted him as your own. But it’s too late. Sam isn’t a good guard dog, but he’s gotten his fangs into you.

You’re his favourite mortal, after all.

He loves you so very much.

Everything this lovely angel does is for you. Or that’s what he claims. For all the tender touches he lavishes you with, you fear that one day you’ll feel the burning touch of his halo around your neck.

A mark of ownership, once Sam decides that he doesn’t want to be known as your guardian angel anymore. He’ll much rather have you known as his, yeah?

CERULEAN I'M TRYING TO GET THE DOVE OUT OF MY MIND AND YOU COME TO ME WITH THAT-

A SURPRISE ATTACK??? WHAT IS THAT, WHY??? WHAT DID I DO???.....ok- if you are going to do it like that. Lets play. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BEG SAM TO BIND ME WITH HIS STUPID ANGEL HALO-

I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE CATER FANS WHO WILL BE COLLATERAL DAMAGE OF THIS- YOU HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE OF KISSING A DOUBLE... or four... FACES! THEIR LIPS ARE GOING TO DRY FROM KISSING SO MANY FACES, HYDRATE THEM WITH LIP BALM- IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR HUSBAND SMELLS LIKE acid yandere eau du parfum- PAY THE PRICE.

"nuu Cay-Cay is not that bad" crack-crack-crack- this is the sound of his heart breaking crack-crack. He's good on the inside... I know... BUT I CARE VERY LITTLE.

[wizardsix]

is it just me or is bioware spoiling way too much about the game . talking about gameplay improvements is one thing but revealing story and companion arcs seems very insecure to me bc now the mystery is gone when people play for the first time . seems like they're trying too hard to prove that their game isn't garbage after that first trailer but this is not how you do that

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i'm being incredibly serious. when i die, someone needs to find a way to turn me into music.