#please don't @ me

[faeriekit]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

[twinliches]

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

[teaboot]

Okay so I'm a security guard, right

And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement

And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either

But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for

And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to

And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do

And I fucking

I fucking. Start danCING

I DONT KNOW WHY

I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING

LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER

and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"

AND

FUCKING

THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE

IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE

I HATE MYSELFD

[artemisdesari-blog]

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[hansoeii]

It was affection.

[butchbait4butch]

hey transfems, i don't know which of you need to hear this but it's okay to never use your penis during sex if you don't want to. it's okay to tell your partner not to touch it, to ignore it even, and hold them to respecting that boundary, no matter how many times you've had sex with them, or even if you've had sex with them with your penis involved.

you're not weird or broken for having needs or having boundaries, and you deserve lovers who respect those needs and boundaries. as someone who knows first hand, it's not worth it not to speak up.

this is a post for bottoms, switches, and tops. for subs or dom/mes. for anyone who feels like their no will go unheard or that the only reason people are sexually interested in you are those who want a woman with a dick. i promise you there are people who are out there who will listen, who will get you, and who will treat you how you deserve.

in fact? that's the absolute base line that anyone deserves during sex, and you deserve that and so much more.

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[sirtouchstarved]

nonononononnononononononon- PLEASE NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASPELPSALSLEPLAPSLEPALPPLEASPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

PLEASE NO NOT NOW NOT LIKE THIS, BELOVED PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

[blondie-drawings]

mama a Body behind you 😰 // pt1/pt2/pt3

[abisalli]

A Robin lineup of sorts :) (sorry for no Carrie, Maps or Matthew... I was tired)

[overlymetaromantic]

Dungeon Meshi, or as I like to call it, Marcille's-increasingly-difficult-to-ignore-revelations-that-her-endless-devotion-to-Falin-may-in-fact-be-more-rooted-in-lesbianism-than-she-originally-thought

[more-raging-heart-than-grace]

when the 1.6 patch notes said "pets that love you will sometimes bring you gifts" i did not think that meant my cat would head to the lake, wrestle a fish twice his size out of the water, and drag it home to me

[sarcosmiiic]

PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND:

we, as fans, do not have a right to private information. anything shared with us on this is a privilege. please do not abuse it. the cc's could shut down and never talk about it if we overwhelm them.

also, please keep in mind that ONE HERMIT and THE ENTIRETY OF HERMITCRAFT are NOT THE SAME THING. the entire fandom is not 'ruined' or 'completely unsafe' because of the actions of one person.

PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME THAT THE OTHER HERMITS KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH ISKALL. this is not some big conspiracy, it's the consequences of one person's actions. they weren't hiding this from us, that's not how hermitcraft works, they truly didn't know. they probably knew as much as us about this, so making it an 'us against them' situation is immature and shortsighted.

ALSO, I AM BEGGING EVERYONE TO PLEASE NOT SENSATIONALIZE THIS. PLEASE DO NOT TURN HATING ISKALL INTO A MEME OR A JOKE.

mcyt'ers being revealed to be less-than-great people is not a rare thing, sadly, but i've seen it turned into a joke/meme/trend in other fandoms. this both minimalizes the actual people's/victims' struggles, makes the entire situation feel less serious than it is, especially to outsiders looking in, and makes everyone in the fandom look immature, petty, unable to take anything seriously, and genuinely harmful.

this server, fandom, and community are not dying, it is not ruined forever, this is one (major, i'm not trying to minimalize it) issue that we're currently dealing with. it will be okay. we will move on. this is not the beginning of the end. please calm down. i love this fandom, god bless all of you. <3

edit: doc has said on stream that we will likely get more information as time passes. like i said, this is a PRIVILEGE. we are not OWED information. please be grateful for what we're given, and POLITELY ask questions if you must. if a cc doesn't give you the answer you want, or doesn't answer at all, LEAVE THEM ALONE. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO HARASS PEOPLE. the hermits are likely just as stressed out as us, if not probably more so, so please keep that in mind when contacting them.

don't freak out, we'll be okay, this is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of Hermitcraft. we will be okay.

second edit: please remember that (at least as far as we know) ISKALL AND STRESS WERE NOT KICKED OR BANNED. THEY LEFT OF THEIR OWN VOLITION.

ALSO!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!

WE. DO. NOT. KNOW. EXACTLY. WHAT. HAPPENED.

PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING SIMPLY BASED OFF OF OTHER MCYT'ERS PAST ACTIONS/SCANDALS. WE DO NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE MIGHT NOT EVER KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. WE NEED TO BE OKAY WITH THAT AND NOT DRAW OUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.

TWITTER LINKS TO VICTIM RESPONSES:

https://twitter.com/Kasszi_/status/1860670647946604985

https://twitter.com/emoslab_/status/1860697161245323559

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

*after the events of the odyssey*

*telemachus and odysseus walking down to the docks, after odysseus said he'd go sailing with his son*

(listen the man had missed 20 years of his son's life, he could ask ody to dress in drag & do the hula and odysseus would already be shouting "LUAU" in a grass skirt before tele finished his sentence)

telemachus: i'm so excite- *looks ahead*

telemachus: *stops walking* oh no *sad noises*

odysseus: *still walking* what's wrong son?

telemachus: *points to the sea beyond ithaca's shores* poseidon must be angry today, look at the storm in the distance

odysseus: *looks ahead but without worry on his face* no need to worry, we can still go sailing, follow me

telemachus: *confused but follows his dad*

*both make it to the docks*

odysseus: you get started, i've just got something to do & then i'll join you on the ship

*telemachus hops on the ship and odysseus turns to face the sea*

odysseus: *red eyes activate* i'm. going. sailing. with . my. son.

*the sea storm dissipates in record speed*

odysseus: good.

odysseus: *red eyes deactivate*

odysseus: *turns to telemachus smiling like nothing happened* shall we go then?

telemachus: *happy but very confused*

telemachus: *mumbling to himself*what just happened?

(this has now become its own little au! friends in higher places au masterlist here!)

[avarkriss]

listen. listen to me so carefully right now. (if you're in the eclipse path/planning on viewing). please don't stare directly at the sun tomorrow. i am begging you - do not stare at it. if you got eclipse glasses off of amazon/other, please put them on in your house and make sure you can't see anything; if you can still see like regular sun glasses, they are not safe for eclipse viewing, you will burn your retinas, and we cannot fix that. eclipse glasses should be iso/ce certified, and aas (american astronomical society) approved. please make smart choices and protect your eyes. please.