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#please do this im gonna answer after I study
goretzkastits · 2 years
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GUYS. send me a number from 1 to 101 and I'll tell you the song from my spotify wrapped <3
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pathologicalreid · 2 months
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you can wait if you dont want to do another smut right now but id love a fic where spencer has been helping reader study for her finals and after last exam is over she thanks spencer for all his help if you know what i mean 😉 (this has been stuck in my head all day)
ofc he is like no!!! you dont have to thank me but obviously reader just wants to finally celebrate being done with finals with her mans
i liveeee for your fics! im so happy youre doing requests again!
earned it | S.R.
when you finish your college course work, you only have one person to thank - your tutor
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: smut (18+ mdni) content warnings: oral sex (m receiving), borderline ass play, fingering, established relationship, mild manhandling, i think that's it. word count: 1.46k a/n: so this request is definitely from when i reopened my requests last but i wanted to let y'all know that I'm probably gonna close them again soon so like get ur requests in ahahaha thank you for requesting please don't worry if this is incoherent
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“How do you feel?” Spencer asked over the phone.
Smiling into the receiver, you made your way up the steps to the second floor of his apartment building as you answered, “I feel liberated,” You answered, balancing your phone between your ear and shoulder so you could knock on his front door.
He cleared his throat over the phone, “Hold on, someone’s at the door,” he told you, moving to open the door. “Hey,” he said, obviously surprised to find you at the door, “I thought you needed to pick your parents up at the airport?”
You shrugged, ending your phone call and stepping inside his apartment, “Their flight was delayed, so I’m now free as a bird for the rest of the day.”
“Most people want to relax after finishing their final exams,” Spencer suggested, setting his phone down before reaching out to you, pulling you closer to him by your waist, “How do you think it went?”
Beaming up at him, you slung your arms around his neck before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, “I think I aced it, and it’s all thanks to my tutor.” Slowly, you ushered him in the direction of the couch, hoping to coax him to the supple leather.
Following your lead, your boyfriend hummed thoughtfully, “Well, as your tutor, I’m glad to hear that.”
With a careful touch, you settled your hands on his shoulders and pushed him down, “And now that I’m done, I figured it was time to return the favor.” You offered, settling yourself down on the couch next to him and smoothing out the skirt of your sundress.
“I’m not in classes anymore,” he reminded you confusedly, tilting his head to the side so that he was closer to you. That much you remembered, he finished his philosophy degree rather unceremoniously last year, not even willing to humor you by putting on a cap and gown.
You nodded, adjusting yourself so that you could lean over until he pulled you into his lap, one knee on either side of his hips. “Yes, but I needed to figure out some way to express my gratitude,” you said, cocking your head to the side as you gave him a knowing look.
Spencer raised his eyebrows at you, “I helped you study because I love you, not because I expected anything in return.” This, of course, you knew, Spencer was too much of a gentleman to outright accept your offer of sexual favors in exchange for your study sessions.
“No, I know, but I don’t believe in unpaid labor,” you informed him, intertwining your fingers at the back of his neck, catching some of the hair at the nape of his neck, forcing him to lean his head back. Taking the opportunity that had presented itself, you attached your lips to the side of his neck, placing gentle kisses as you felt his grip on your hips tighten. “I just finished school and maybe I want to celebrate a little,” you murmured against his skin, reaching your hand up and fiddling with the knot of his tie.
Another thing that you knew was that Spencer was too much of a man to turn down head, so you weren’t surprised when the next thing he said was, “Then let’s celebrate.”
Moving away from him slightly, you giggled, “You’re so easy to convince.”
He rolled his eyes in response, “And you’re so pretty,” he mumbled, dragging your lips down to his as you grinned, letting him touch you everywhere he wanted as you moved to palm his half-hard cock through his slacks.
Getting him hard was easy, you had been so stressed during finals that the two of you hadn’t done much more than make out, but now that all you had to do was cross the stage, you each had a lot of pent-up hormones that needed to be released. You tried to undo his belt without pulling away from him, but you eventually needed to see what you were doing, leading you to pull away before undoing the belt buckle.
Desperate for more contact, Spencer ducked his head and kissed your shoulder, leaving open-mouthed kisses around the thin strap of your dress as you continued undoing the button and zipper of his slacks with ease. You let out a soft moan in response to him moving to your neck, watching the way his cock twitched beneath his boxers.
You gently slipped your fingers under the elastic band, taking his entire length in your hand, just holding him caused his head to fall back and lift his hips from the couch to move his pants and underwear down, giving you more access. You crouched down on the couch, ducking your head so that you could press a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock, continuing your motions by pressing similar little kisses down the shaft until you hit the base.
Skimming your fingertips down his member, you smiled at the way his hips bucked off of the couch before wrapping your lips around him, taking him as far as you could without gagging and staying like that while Spencer gathered your hair at the nape of your neck and secured it with his fingers. You bobbed your head slightly, resting one hand on his hip and moving the other to hold his free hand before you lifted your head to swirl your tongue around his bulbous tip.
“You’re so good at this,” he murmured, his hand holding your hair gripping tighter as you bobbed your head again, “fuck, baby.”
Even as he let go of your hand, you continued bobbing your head even as you felt Spencer’s hand fiddling with the skirt of your dress, letting out a gentle moan when you realized what he was doing.
Spencer pulled your panties down your thighs by the gusset, giving him perfect access to your pussy as you kept your lips around his cock, “My pretty girl,” he praised while gently pressing his index finger at your entrance, circling the wet hole before pushing it in. Because of the angle you were at, he couldn’t get his fingers very deep, but it did enable him to press his thumb against your clit.
You moaned around his cock, the vibrations causing him to hiss and leading you to reach your newly freed hand to gently cup his balls, squeezing them as you bent your finger and pressed the knuckle to his taint, massaging the sensitive area that always made him finish.
He slipped another finger into your cunt easily as he released a shuddering breath, “I’m close,” he let you know, grip on your hair tightening as he did.
Humming, you just continued your ministrations until he let you know that he was going to come, the white, hot liquid spurting directly into your mouth while you continued to work him through his orgasm, your movements slowly coming to a halt so you didn’t overstimulate him.
Swallowing his cum, you released him from your mouth as he pulled his hand from your wet hole. Careful not to get anything on your dress, he maneuvered you so that you were facing him, his hooded eyes had a hint of determination as he pushed two digits into your pussy, you whimpered at the depth he got at this new angle.
You rocked your hips so that you were riding his hand, placing your hands on his shoulders for support while he used his thumb to stimulate your clit. “Spence,” you whined, breath hitching as he curled his fingers inside of you.
“What is it, baby?” He asked without pausing his movements.
Opening your mouth to respond, only a high-pitched noise came out in place of words, causing your head to fall forward onto his shoulder. “Come,” you mumbled.
Continuing to curl his fingers inside of you, he gently kissed your temple, “Come on my fingers, baby. You earned it. You can let go,” he encouraged.
You gasped as you did just that, feeling your walls clench around his fingers as he continued moving them, “Fuck, yes, thank you,” you babbled into the crook of his neck, lifting your head and looking him in the eyes.
His cheeks were flushed pink as he leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, instinctively, you pulled back.
“I have cum dribbling down my chin,” you explained to him when he frowned at the rejection.
Shaking his head, he leaned back in, “I really don’t care,” he said, kissing you chastely – as if to prove a point – and placing his hands on either side of your waist before settling you on his lap. “When does your parents’ rescheduled flight get in?”
You hummed contentedly, “Not until tonight.”
“Perfect,” he responded.
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kadwrites · 1 year
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the color green | T.S
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or check out the series masterlist
summary ; you've met tommy's secretary , who has a thing for him.
warnings ; mentions of death (no one dies), my bad writing?? probably typos, arranged marriage trope
a/n ; um idk what to think of this part but lmk what you think of it
-
he just looks back at you, his brow raised ,waiting for an explanation
"what?"
"what did ya say to 'er?"
"nothing, why ? what did she tell you?" you can't help the amused expression on your face, you did try to hold it back.
"she said you and polly cornered 'er"
"what" you let out a small laugh "all we did was speak to 'er, and it was mostly polly. she barely acknowledged me."
"really?"
"yes really."
"did ya tell 'er that we're engaged?" his voice was deep and cold. it sent a familiar chill down your spine.
"why ? did ya not want people to know?"
"answer the question"
"i didn't. polly did." you stare at him for a while, eyes tracing his face with a raised brow "are you fucking 'er?"
he blinks slowly, his demeanor doesn't change "i beg your fucking pardon?"
"ya heard me."
"no."
you study his face "we didn't say anything to 'er, polly asked 'er if she knew who i was, she looked me up and down like i was some whore and then almost cried when she found out you and i are engaged. thats it."
"we're not engaged yet."
"we are, according to your aunt. so if ya 'ave any fucking complaints , ya might want to take it up with 'er."
you try to walk past him, deciding that storming off is the best way out of this ,
"and how do ya think youre gettin' back home? polly is gone"
you freeze, stopping in place when you hear that, and he turns, just staring at your back.
"walking exists , ya know?" you turn as well to face him, you try to maintain the most confident expression you could muster
"you're gonna walk back? to your father's house? at this time?"
you just nod,
"no you're not"
"yes i am."
"no."
"why not?"
"what kind if fiancé would i be if i let ya walk home in the dark?." his voice is sarcastic
you just raise your brow again, "i thought we weren't engaged."
"go to my office, i'll drive ya home in a minute."
"ya don't 'ave to, i don't want your charity."
"go to my fucking office, y/n."
you mumble curses under your breath as you stride through and to his office, you open the glass door and plop down on the chair facing his desk. you can see the sectary's silhouette from the corner of your eyes. she's sitting on a desk outside his office and you walked by without sparing her a glance. you can feel her stare burn through you.
the door opens again and he walks in, and sits on his desk
"are we goin' to stay here long? cause i can call oliver to come and get me."
he looked up from the papers he was holding and his stare made you look away. okay maybe you'll let him drive you home.
the secretary knocks and walks in "i just need your signature on this form sir." she walks to his desk and gets as close as appropriately possible.
" y've met my fiancée then, miss carter?" he asks the secretary without looking at her
"i.." she stands straight and glances at you "i did , yes i did."
he looks up at her briefly "she might be comin' here more often now, so please make 'er feel at home whenever im not around."
"of course, sir." she smiles sweetly at him before grabbing the paper and walking out of the office.
you raise your brows, a small smirk on your lips "oh im your fiancée now , aye?"
he doesn't answer you, but you see the corners of his lips curl.
you stifle back a yawn as you sit on the sofa , trying to not to nod off. its the middle of the night and your brother had woken you up. safe to say tonight was not a night you've expected and its yet to end.
"how did ya even know about this?" you nod towards abraham who had a cup of tea in his hand
"mum called" he muttered as he handed you a cup as well
"its just a cold , ya know that? , ya didn't 'ave to leave anna and come all the way here."
"it's dad, i couldn't just sleep after 'earing mum cry about 'im"
"she cries about everything" you say with a sigh as you take a sip of your tea
the living room as dark except for a small lamp that was next to you
"did she call celest and oliver?"
"i think so, but they'll probably come by in the mornin'."
you hear your mothers sniffles as she leaves her and your father's bedroom.
"hes asking for you."
you and abraham look at each other before you put your tea cup down and get up from the sofa.
"come in"
you walk in and close the door behind you gently. your dad is propped up with a pillow behind him, you approach the bed and get on it, laying next to him
"ya better not give me another one of your speeches dad." you feign annoyance but your smile gives you away.
he lets out a laugh then turns to you "i'm an old man ya know, i 'ave to make sure i say everything i need to say before i leave ya."
"y've got a cold dad, its not the plaque " you chuckle as you turn to look at him too.
when you were a child, your father would never sleep if you got sick, he would stay up. sometimes fall asleep beside you, or on the uncomfortable hard wooden chair he'd drag next to your bed.
he would put his head on your heart sometimes late at night anxiously, scared it might've stopped when he accidentally drifted off to sleep.
"listen to me love..." his hands intertwine with yours, his hands calloused from all the days he's spent caring for the soil, or in the war that you never thought would end. "i need to talk about this."
you hum, your hand holding his tightly in yours.
"i'm sorry it had to come to this my love,"
its not another one of his speeches, its a different kind of speech.
"dad..."
"when your mother first told me about this, i thought she was jokin, honest to god" he lets out another laugh "but now..... when i think about it , i cant let ya do that to yerself love..." he shakes his head slightly,
"what?" your eyes look up at him, taking in his features , his dark under eyes, the lines on his face, around his eyes.
"i saved some money yeah? , for when me and your mother might need it. ya can 'ave it." his voice drops to a lower tone
"and do what ?"
"run away."
"run away?" you laugh softly, looking at him with a raised brow "and go where?"
"where ever you want." he smiles softly at you
"you're not serious."
"i am"
you stay silent for a while, processing what he's saying "im not runnin' away dad."
"so you're gonna marry tommy shelby? is that what ya want ? what ya truly want?"
"its what i need to do"
"ya don't"
"so you're gonna go back on your word ,aye? ya gave the man a word after all"
"for you , id break every promise ive ever made."
"dad..." you let out a small smile , his other hand goes to cup your face "i cant do that"
"are ya scared id hate ya? or that id be angry at ya if ya didn't?"
"i cant runaway dad... i cant leave ya" your emotions betray you and they flood through you, your tears start to drop. i cant not be here when you die, when you're buried.
"sometimes i cant believe you're all grown up now,"
"hmm"
"ya were such a lively child"
"you're sayin' im borin' now aye?"
you two share a small laugh, you turn your face and kiss his palm, before closing your eyes "id put myself through anything and everything to keep ya with me for however long i can."
-
@tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator , @theshelbyslimited
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invertedheaven · 2 months
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If You Really Love Nothing
chapter 7: pink cotton candy
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As you stood over the stove making breakfast, gojo joined you in the kitchen making a cup of coffee for himself you spoke up
“I didn’t get a chance to tell you yesterday but yuji knows about sukuna and I, he confronted me about it”
Gojo glanced at you before stirring way too much sugar into his cup “and airi?”
You shook your head in response so he continued
“How do you feel?”
“I don’t know, more curious as to how he found out but I guess I’m okay… I didn't tell him anything important though” you paused for a moment “he wanted to know why we broke up”
“Yeah, don’t we all” gojo tried to joke, “what did you tell him?”
“I told him I didn’t know, and that it was sukunas doing” you shrugged
Gojo was slightly surprised that you were honest about it with yuji but before he could speak the conversation was interrupted by airi tugging on your pants
“Mommy im hungry”
“I know baby, I’m making breakfast right now” you bent down to pick her up while giving her a kiss on the cheek
“I was thinking… we should go to the winter festival they’re having in the city, they have lots of food y’know” gojo spoke with a mischievous smile knowing if he asked in front of airi, you probably wouldn’t say no
You shoot him a glare because now airi would only want to do that and sure enough she gasped excitedly “Please! Please mommy can we go today?”
“Not today airi, satoru and megumi have work and school” you responded to which airi pouted
Gojo shrugs “we can go after it doesn’t start up until 5 anyways”
Airi turned to look at you with a pout and eyes that could make anyone with a heart cave, you sighed turning your glare back to gojo “fine but you need to ask megumi if he wants to go”
“Done!” Gojo shouted before he took a sip from his coffee, burning his tongue
Airi asks to be put down and as you place her on the ground, megumi walks into the kitchen as well
“Good morning megumi” you smiled at him and he simply nodded back
“We’re going to the winter festival today, you wanna come?” Gojo asked
Megumi looked as if he was gonna say no after all, it was his last week of school so hes been studying for finals including helping yuji study as well, but before he could answer airi ran up to him
“please gumi” she asked but she sounded a bit sad
Megumi hadn’t realized that by having to keep yuji from airi that meant that he was also distancing himself from her and she had no idea why. To airi, megumi used to be around a lot more and he would play tea party or color with her, he’d even brush her dolls hair when she asked. Airi liked satoru too but obviously megumis presence was missed and you’re sad that you hadn’t realized it sooner.
Megumi felt guilty saying no now, seeing how his answer could greatly affect airis mood for the day, “yeah, ill come with” he half smiled
“Are you sure? I know you have finals” you spoke up giving him an apologetic look
“Yeah, it’s fine yuji has plans today too anyways so studying wasn’t gonna last all that long” he shrugged really, he wasn’t too worried about finals for himself
Airi was now beyond excited despite being a picky eater she really hoped there was gonna be desserts, not anything specific all she knows is that she likes sweet stuff. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to it too, you’ve missed the quality time of all 4 of you together. You weren’t looking forward to having to bundle airi up in a million jackets because she hates it more than anything.
——
Sukuna walked into the building like he owned the place, ready to finalize the deal with Gojo Sr. A part of him felt annoyed that he didn’t use this time of being close to Gojo, in proximity at least, to find out anything about you. He eyed the receptionist as soon as she came into view, he’d been flirting with her in past visits trying to see if shed be dumb enough to spill anything.
His first visit he tried to get information out of Gojos secretary but she was surprisingly stubborn, telling him if he had any personal inquiries about her or gojo that she wouldn’t answer. The receptionist on the other hand seems persuadable, if not at least for gossip— which he couldn’t believe he’d stooped so low for. Before Sukuna reached her, he really couldn’t remembered her name, gojo greeted her and made some small talk, which annoyed Sukuna greatly at first but he quickly figured he could make this work to his advantage.
“Well, I’ll see you rei!” Gojo said cheerfully while waving, sukuna only caught the tail end of what gojo said but it didn’t matter. The white haired bastard hadnt even noticed sukuna as he walked away from ‘rei’, at least sukuna knows her name now.
Rei was blushing and smiling like a fool at her interaction with gojo that she didnt notice sukuna until he spoke up “your boyfriend?” Her reaction was ridiculous her posture straightened up and she struggled to find words
“Ah sukuna! Its been so long” she smiled at him nerves still on edge, he felt nothing but annoyance looking at her, yeah she was pretty but she wasn’t you “no, thats not my boyfriend, he’s one of my bosses”
Sukuna just continued to stare hoping she’d say more, to his luck she did “I wish” she joked “but every girl is in love with him, plus I think he’s in a relationship, pretty sure they live together”
Not what sukuna wanted to hear at all, not in the slightest but he decided to swallow the anger “really?” He said exaggeratedly acting fake invested
Rei rolled her eyes at him but she laughed and continued “mhm, rumor has it they have a kid too”
sukunas teasing smirk drops and he feels sick but she continued as she focused her eyes on the computer in front of her “but I don’t believe it apparently the kid is in high school, I think gojo is too young to be a dad to a high schooler” she shrugged
Never in sukunas life did he think he’d be so relieved for the existence of gojos brat, of course she was talking about that fushiguro kid. Honestly, had he not been reminded of fushiguros existence thanks to yujis incompetence, he would’ve really thought the rumor was true. Which would’ve faced him with a reality he refused to think about. The most shocking aspect was how little anyone knew of gojos personal life— it seemed like he tried very hard to keep it under wraps
“Thats fascinating” sukuna said sarcastically
Rei laughed “you asked, no need to be rude about it”
That kind of teasing annoyed Sukuna because if it wasn’t you he wouldn’t allow anyone to talk to him like that but if he wants actual answers he might have to play along
“hmmm and how do you know all this?” sukuna teased
“My best friend is his secretary, but it also spreads around the office pretty fast any time theres something new” she typed something before looking at sukuna “I mean I’ve seen a picture of his supposed girlfriend before she’s beautiful but he could do better”
At this sukuna no longer felt like entertaining this woman, because the nerve this girl had to insult you like that made him sick. He doesn’t even know where the defensiveness came from, he owes you nothing but hearing rei slander you, being dead wrong too, struck a nerve. Sukunas smile dropped again and this time she saw it before she could ask what’s wrong sukuna spoke up
“Im done here” his voice having lost his teasing tone and instead replaced with a cold and empty tone that gave her a chill down her spine, completely thrown off by his change of attitude
Rei knew she’d tell Hana about this later, but she ultimately shrugged it off. Sukuna sulked throughout his meeting and felt great annoyance towards you, despite the fact that you did nothing. Not that he wanted to trust office gossip but sukuna was now moving with the idea that you and gojo were in fact together. But what sat in his brain the most was the idea that you could actually have kids with gojo, even if it ended up being megumi that rei was talking about the very idea irked him beyond belief. He didnt particularly want kids, they were gross, loud and annoying truly something he did not want to deal with. Yet the idea that it could be a possibility for you and gojo pissed him off more than he thought it would.
——
Yuji did in fact have plans that he thought were definitely more important than studying for finals— going to the movies. He was going to meet his friend at the theater but didn’t account for the festival that was taking place on the same street as the theater. His friend, junpei, had said he was running late so yuji wasn’t too worried about the crowd he had to work through to get there.
Although, he was tempted to grab something to eat so he slowed down to look at the food options. Each booth looked so good that he was half tempted to ditch the movie and just eat the rest of the night, unfortunately he did not have enough money for that. As he continued walking, he saw a familiar head of white hair peeking from the crowd, his brain immediately thought of gojo because that was the only person with white hair tall enough to tower over people.
As he got closer he instantly recognized fushiguro as well, you were there too but what he noticed was that gojo was holding a kid, that was probably the niece you babysit, right?
“I want that one!” Airi pointed at the pink cotton candy one booth booth was selling
“Okay but I want the blue one” gojo replied
You watched as satoru bought both options anyways and airi looked ecstatic. You were glad airi got distracted by the food because she started to complain about the layers of clothes she was wearing. She hated the beanie and gloves the most, and you had to stop her from trying to take the scarf off even though it was incredibly cold.
"Can I try that" airi asked while pointing at gojos cotton candy
"Baby, you said you wanted the pink one, that's satorus" you reminded her even though you knew he'd give her some anyways you didnt want her to become spoiled
"Only if you say please" gojo smiled
"please" airi pouted and gojo gave her a small piece of his
You rolled your eyes "gojo you cant spoil her y'know"
"its just cotton candy what's the harm"
And before you could argue back airi took another even bigger piece from satorus cotton candy. Which made him look at you with shock, prompting a laugh from you
Megumi oddly enough felt peaceful, it felt like the times before itadori came around and the energy around the house wasn’t so tense. It’s not that the tension came from anything inherently negative, nobody acted any differently, its just a similar feeling to when you get your report card from school and try to hide it from your parents. He was glad he was friends with itadori, but maybe the guilt is getting to him too. Megumi knows itadori tends to be alone a lot, he’ll act like it doesn’t get to him but megumi knows better.
“Do you know what you want?” Your voice cut off megumis thoughts
“Nothing in particular, I’m still looking” megumi shrugged
It was loud, seeing as there were a lot of people around so megumi thought he was imagining when he heard his name being called. Until he noticed you and gojo heard it too— the voice even sounded incredibly familiar. Airi was too busy eating her cotton candy to notice the way you, megumi and gojo looked at each other unsure of what to do next as the voice you all knew belonged to itadori got closer
“Fushiguro! What are you doing here?”
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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purity and its presence in growth
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🎶 now playing: my heart it beats for you - grentperez
P: Soul (Haku Shota) x Fem!Reader
S: Moving to Korea in the peak of your adolesence isn't easy. You just happened to be there to help. How can he miss you so much even though you only knew each other for an hour? Maybe exchanging numbers was a better idea than he thought.
C: fluff, cute moments, inaccuracy, brainrot, baby p1ece don't slander me, needed to get this into my drafts immediately, kinda sloppy, drabble, puppy love, longer than it should be
N: Y/N is your first name, L/N is your last name. i saw somewhere online that said soul moved to korea when he was 13 for fnc and somehow this idea began to brew in the deep depths of my strange brain. im a little new to piwon so if i get something wrong im sorry :P any ages mentioned are korean age, not international. his name means like 'child with a pure soul' so thats why the title sounds so poetic but okay enjoy the potato child content
view the rest of the conversations ☆彡
please interact if you enjoy!
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After the almost 3 hour flight to Incheon, Shota stands in the airport mindlessly, staring at his phone and trying to resist the urge to call his mom. Though he knew that she'd pick up in a heartbeat if he did, he suddenly had a rush of independence surge through his veins when he stepped off the plane, telling himself every day was gonna be lonesome and that he'd have to learn how to get around. It wasn't until he got near the exit that he realized he had no idea what to do.
He should ask someone. There was a high chance quite a few people on that flight could also speak Japanese, but even so, he couldn't muster up the courage to talk to anybody. So he stood awkwardly, out of the way, watching all the people walk by and glance at him periodically.
He'd been studying Korean during his break time at school while at home in Japan, but he was afraid he'd say something wrong and embarass himself.
His eyes wandered amongst the people, and past the crowd of tall adults, there was you. A girl, who looked around his age, spacing out by some suitcases while some other adults, probably your parents, were talking to the clerks at the service deck. He took a deep breath, dragging his suitcases along with him as he shuffled past the bustling crowd and up to you.
"Excuse me." He mutters, catching your attention. "I need... to go... to this place. I.... don't know how." Your head tilts a little, confused while the cogs begin to turn in your head while he shows you the address. "You need a ride?" He nods. "Well, there's the railroad, but maybe a taxi can get you there faster..."
Now he's the confused one. "Could you... speak... slower?"
"Do you understand Korean?" You ask. He gestures with his fingers almost pinched together, meaning a little. "What other languages do you speak?"
"Japanese."
You smile. "If I'd known that, I would've answered in it then." You say, switching tongues so smoothly Shota's brain nearly fails to comprehend what just happened. "Where are your parents? Mine are taking too long at the desk."
"I came alone. My mom might come in the next few days to help me with moving. And send me off.”
"You and your mom are moving here? What about your dad?"
"No, I'm moving here. Alone. Just me. For work." You eye him and the two suitcases at both of his sides. "You look my age. How do you already have a job?"
"Um... I'm a trainee." Your eyes widen as you begin to nod, shocked. "Really? Already?" He nods as your eyes observe him again. "Cool. That's- wow, okay..." You struggle to finish your sentence, cutting yourself off. "Right, you need to get around- okay. Um, you could follow me. I know how to get the one way passes. Do you have money?" He nods. You begin to walk away as he trails behind you, following you to some sort of kiosk.
Guiding him through purchasing a pass, your parents meet with you by the railway, scolding you for walking off without informing them first before stepping on and finding seats on the train. The boy sits down next to you in the window seat, staring out at the scenery for the first time. "You could have taken a taxi, but I felt like I should've stayed with you. Y'know, so I can tell you more about how to get around and stuff."
"Thank you, by the way. I appreciate this. I think I would've gotten run over without you." He jokes lightheartedly. "No problem. I suddenly felt nice for once, so you're lucky you caught me at a good time." You send him the same energy, both of you laughing as the train begins to move. "When you get off with us, you can ask for a taxi, they'll drive you to the exact address. I’m sure you already know that, though." You add, him nodding before leaning fully back against the chair.
"What's your name?"
The question catches him off guard, staring at your awaiting face, almost forgetting to answer.
"Shota."
The way he introduces himself to you makes you smile. "L/N. Nice to meet you. It's nice having someone to talk to at my age that speaks my mother tongue. Even if all we do is just sit here and pass out while waiting to arrive." Your matching humour is something that sticks out to Shota, one that he likes laughing along to. "It must be scary, flying here alone and having to figure things out on your own. Especially with how young you are. I hope you'll do okay when we part ways."
"I'm still here for now. What are you and your family doing here?" He changes the topic, not wanting to think about you having to leave him so soon. "My dad's side of the family is Korean, so we come here often to visit them. We're considering moving here, since their side is trying to convince me to sign up for a career in modelling. They always say I 'have the visuals', which I don't see, but it wouldn't hurt to try."
"Don't forget me when you're famous." Shota says.
"I could say the same for you, Mr. Trainee. You'll make it far, I bet. I'm looking forward to your debut already."
"And I'm looking forward to seeing you on the billboards." You both smile at each other, a brief moment of silence settling between you two. Shota feels a tap on the side of his arm, head turning to look at you. You hold your phone towards him, the keypad open and empty. "Is it okay if we exchange numbers? This may be the only time we ever see each other, and I like talking to you. And you can text me if you ever need anything. I respond very quickly." Your attempt at convincing him was not needed, as he took your phone out of your hands swiftly and punched his number in. You did the same for his phone when he handed it to you, creating your contact for him.
L/N (ㆁωㆁ)
You write your name in Kanji for him, hearing him huff after you hand back his phone. You couldn't see the soft smile that adorned his face after seeing the contact name you set for yourself, as your eyes were already beginning to shut and send you into a deep sleep. For the rest of the ride, Shota looks out the window and all the buildings they pass by. Feeling a light weight against his arm, his gaze moves to check.
Your head rests against his arm, Shota listening carefully and hearing soft, deep breaths come from you. At first, he nearly freezes, but forgets about it and relaxes, letting you doze against his arm, checking on you periodically until the train reaches your stop.
Your parents are the first to see you two in that position, and while Shota's first instict is to panic and apologize, the idea quickly goes away, a smile on your mom's face as she shakes you gently to wake you up. When you first open your eyes, you see your mom, then turn to see Shota staring at you, nearly leaning against the window. You slowly begin to put the pieces together, embarrassed when coming to the correct conclusion.
When you wave as his taxi departs from the train station, reality dawns upon him. He’s alone, and he’ll have to figure out more than just how to get around since you’re gone now. He didn’t want to have to depend on you and annoy you all the time, so he vowed to himself that he’d learn and teach himself, along with the help of his fellow group members.
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After Shota settled into the dorm and was toured around headquarters, the feeling of lying in bed suddenly felt more desirable than he thought it’d ever be. It’s been a few days since he parted ways with you, and he was hesitant to text you for some unknown reason.
He stared at your open empty message box for a while, spacing out until his phone starts buzzing in his hand. He reads your name on the screen, realizing you were calling him. He sits up, still in shock at the timing that he almost forgets to answer.
“Hello?” He greets, almost unsure. “Shota! How are you? Sorry I haven’t texted or anything, I’ve been having a lot of meetings with my family and stuff.” He’s frozen in place at the sound of your voice, so gleeful than how you first met. “No, it’s okay. I spent the last few days settling in so it’s fine.”
“Are you busy right now? Am I calling at a bad time?”
“No.”
“Are you okay? You sound nervous.”
He sits there for a moment, taking a deep breath before responding.
“I kinda miss you.” It’s embarrassing for him to admit, but he really does. “Oh.” He hears you mutter over the phone, probably unaware that he heard. “I miss you too, Shota. It sounds strange, but I do get worried about you sometimes. But the fact you picked up the phone is assurance that you’re okay, so…”
“It’s a bit hard when you aren’t around, y’know? Like, I don’t know, maybe it’s because you can speak Japanese and I’m not afraid of messing up in front of you because I can speak my home language, but it’s hard to talk to other people. Even my groupmates. I can understand what they’re saying, but I’m too nervous to mess up to even say anything to them.”
“Well, you can’t get better at speaking if you don’t speak at all. It’s okay to make mistakes, Shota. I made a lot when I was learning too. At least you try.”
“Kee– I mean, one of my group members is teaching me. He had to learn it too.”
“So you’re both learning together! That’s good, you both share learning experiences. I’d love to teach you, but it’s kinda hard over call.”
“But it’s possible?”
“Yeah.”
He ponders for a moment before coming up with an idea. “I have a laptop. We can video call when I’m not busy.”
“Really? Are you okay with it?”
“I’m the one that asked.”
“Do you think we can call… for non-lesson purposes? Y’know, just to talk?”
He huffs, and thought you don’t see it, you hear a smile in his tone. “Of course. I’d really like that.”
The door to their room opens, Jongseob entering. “Hi Soul.” Apparently his voice picks up on the microphone, because you ask, “Who’s that?”
“My roommate. One of them.”
“Who are you talking to?” Jongseob asks, looking over at Soul. “My friend.”
“Who’s your friend?”
“We met at the...” Soul knows the word, but is worried he’ll say it wrong.
“Airport.” You find the word for him, saying it into his ear.
“…Airport. She helped me.” He finishes his sentence with your help.
“She? Aren’t we not allowed to talk to girls as trainees?”
“We aren’t?”
“I think so? Maybe I’m thinking of something else; I keep in touch with my friends so I think it’s fine.”
“Are they all boys?”
“Mostly. Some girls.”
“I can’t talk to you anymore?” You ask, Shota almost forgetting he was on call with you. “We can. I think. We’ll do it in secret.” He hears you laugh on the other end. “Soul?” You say, overhearing the name his friend called him.
“My Korean name. I came up with it. With my roommates.”
“It’s cute! It suits you.” For some reason, he feels too flattered at your compliment. He overhears someone yelling in the background. “I need to go and help with dinner. I’ll talk to you soon! Bye!”
“Bye–“ He gets cut off by the sound of the call ending, letting himself fall back onto the bed, arms sprawled out. Jongseob looks over again at his roommate, who’s staring at the ceiling. “Are you okay?” He asks. Soul lazily responds with a thumbs up. “What happened?”
“Cute.” He mutters loud enough for his roommate to hear. “Cute?” Jongseob questions, puzzled. Soul points at himself, the cogs turning in his roommate’s head briefly before his eyes widen in realization. “She called you cute?!”
“My name.”
“Your name? She called your name cute? Soul?” He nods, Jongseob more shocked than he should’ve been. “Don’t fall in love yet, Soul, we haven’t debuted yet.” He jokes lightheartedly before he goes back to scrolling on his phone.
For a while, you’re the one to initiate calls. You always hesitate, knowing how busy he is, but you eventually learn that he’s off on Sundays and is usually off training well past 10 in the evening. If otherwise, he calls you first.
He enjoys talking to you a lot. He’s more comfortable speaking his home language in general, and the fact he has someone to talk to in it makes coming home from practice even more exciting.
His roommates would wonder why he rushes to his room so quickly the minute they step foot back in their dorm, but don’t question it. As long as he was able to talk to you, through call or text, he was able to stay sane.
While on FaceTime with him, the door to his room opens, as it usually does when you two call, this time a different man you haven’t seen before by the door. You eventually met Jongseob, the first guy who walked in on the two of you calling, and saw what he looked like, but this guy was definitely not him. He looked a little intimidating.
“Soul, do you want anything? We’re ordering delivery.” The man asks, Soul looking back at him. “Fries.”
“Just fries? Like usual?”
“I want… the same thing as you. Except large fries.”
“Okay, sure. Who’s that?” He seems to have noticed your face on Soul’s phone screen. “My friend. This is Keeho.” He introduces the man at the door to you, the name familiar. “He’s teaching you Korean?” The man gives a thumbs up, switching to a wave. “Hello, Soul’s friend!” He greets, his smile ridding all your previous opinions of him being intimidating.
“Hello! I’m just talking to Soul for a bit. How are you?” You reply, Keeho equally befuddled as Soul when he first met you, and how you switched tongues so effortlessly. “I’m doing well, thank you. How did you two meet?”
“Airport. I helped him get around for a bit.”
“Oh, really? That’s cool. I’ll be heading out now, sorry to interrupt.” Keeho waves at the camera again before shutting the door. Soul turns back to face you. “He looked scary.” You admit. Soul seems to agree with you, given the expression on his face. “That’s what I thought too! But he’s really nice and funny.”
“How many of your roommates know about me?”
“He’s the second one.”
“And how many roommates do you have?”
“Five. Plus me, so six.”
“Six?! And you share a room with how many people?”
“3 per bedroom. The whole place is actually quite roomy.”
“I don’t think I’d survive…”
“If you’re rooming with just girls, you’ll be fine. Boys, however…”
“Yeah, I get what you mean.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“You got a haircut!”
“You noticed.”
“Of course I noticed. It looks really good!”
“I got something else too.”
“What is it?”
Soul grabs something out of frame, eyes focusing on his fingers. “Keeho and I went out today. I found these rings and bought them.” He curls his hand into a fist, showing them off to the camera. It’s a variety of different skull rings, a few on his right hand and a few on his left. “Cool! Where’d you get them? I want some for myself.”
“I can just give you one.”
“Really? But you just bought them.”
“When we meet up sometime, you can pick one.”
“Are you sure?”
“If it helps remind you of me.”
Your face goes warm. “You’re so sweet, Shota.”
“Did you cut your hair?” He asks. You’re surprised he noticed, given how subtle the difference was. “It was just a trim. And they made it flowier or something.” His head moves closer to the camera. “Are you keeping it this short?” You shake your head. “Getting rid of split ends and stuff. It’ll grow back eventually.”
“It’s very pretty. It looks good on you.”
“Thank you…” You mutter, flustered for a reason you can’t make out. How noticeable could a subtle change be that it could evoke such words not meant to be anything more than meaningful?“I really want to see you.”
“You’re seeing me right now.” He jokes. “I know, but… in person. I feel kinda limited only being able to see you on my laptop or phone screen.”
“Me too. I haven’t debuted, so it’s kind of risky for me to be hanging out with a girl. Outside.”
“They don’t know we’ve been calling?”
“They know. But it’s more discreet this way because no one can see us.”
“When are you debuting?”
“I don’t know yet. And if I did, I don’t know if I’d be allowed to tell you.”
“I’m good at keeping secrets! I still remember some from 5th grade.”
“If you say so.”
“Oh, I just remembered I needed to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
A smile slowly grows on your face. “I’m moving here.” Shota’s face is equally as shocked. “Really?”
“I got signed with an agent and got a few bookings! They’re small, but they’re something.”
“L/N, that’s amazing! You’re– you’re gonna be famous! I’m gonna see your face in all the stores!” You laugh at his enthusiasm. “Hey, maybe when we’re both famous, we can hang out in public! Maybe we can collaborate.”
It was always moments like this, purity radiated off your interactions. You’d get excited over the thought of seeing each other in person, what you’d do when you finally meet up, and how long you’d hang out together (you two always insisted on a night at your place). What you’d talk about, the kinds of pictures you’d take, what kind of food you could eat.
After all, you two were still kids.
You celebrated his 16th birthday late into the night, on voice call after his in person celebration with his roommates. He wished you were there as he blew out the candles on his cake.
“Happy birthday, Shota.” You softly greet, knowing he’s on the verge of falling asleep as he laid in bed. “Thank you.” He mutters, voice muffled, his face buried in his blankets. “I wish I could be with you in person. I got you a gift.”
“Really? You didn’t have to…”
“I wanted to. I’ll give it to you when we finally meet up.”
“We always say we’re gonna meet up, but when? I don’t know if I can wait much longer.”
“It’s only a matter of your schedule. I’m free most of the time.”
“Maybe after I finally debut this year…” Shota’s eyes widen, realizing what he just said. “What? You’re debuting?”
“I didn’t mean to say that–“ You squeal softly over the phone in an attempt to not wreck his ears. “When were you going to tell me?!”
“Honestly, I forgot. I forget a lot of things.”
You stifle a laugh. “I’m so proud of you! All your hard work is finally paying off– maybe we really can see each other! When are you debuting?”
“Sometime later this year. It’s why I haven’t been picking up your calls, I’ve been really busy recording and stuff. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. You do what you gotta do, okay? Just call me whenever you aren’t busy. Or text. Or whatever, I’m okay with anything.”
Shota softly chuckles. “So what did you get me?”
“It’s a surprise. You’ll find out eventually.”
“I’ll be 17 by the time I get that gift…”
“Keep your head up, Shota, we’ll see each other soon enough. You sound tired. Get some rest. Goodnight.” He breathes slow and deep before replying. “Goodnight, L/N.” He ends the call, taking out his earbuds and putting them and his phone on the small, crowded bedside table.
“Was that L/N?” Jongseob asked groggily. Soul replied with a monotone ‘mmm’, meaning he was right. “Who’s L/N?” Theo asks from the far side of the room. “Soul’s friend. They call all the time.”
“You talk to her like she’s your girlfriend. How you want to see her all the time and stuff. It’s cute.” Theo mutters, Soul barely making out what he said. His face goes warm at the assumption. “We haven’t seen each other… in 2 years. We’ve only met once in person.”
“And training is holding you back from seeing her? That’s why you video call?” Jongseob puts two and two together, receiving the same monotone response from Soul. “We’re off tomorrow. You can see her then.”
“But we haven’t debuted yet.”
“So? Intak meets with his friends all the time.”
“They’re all guys.”
“Soul, you can’t exactly be deprived of meeting up with your friends. And what if she’s a girl? If you want to hang out with her, hang out with her.” Theo speaks up, voice clearer now that his head isn’t buried in his blankets. “This goes for you too, Jongseob. You guys are still kids. If you’re being forced to be an adult in the industry, at least try to have fun while you’re still young outside of work.”
Soul lays there for a moment. “What if she’s sleeping?” He asks aloud. “The fact she called you this late means she’s probably still awake at this time.” Jongseob says, convincing Soul to pick up his phone one last time for the night. He opens your contact in his messages, typing swiftly.
I’m off tomorrow. Can we meet up?
By the time he falls asleep, he receives a message from you.
Yes please (⌒▽⌒)
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“L/N? You’re seeing her today?” Keeho asks, making himself a bowl of cereal as Soul eats his own. Soul responds monotone with his mouth full, his leader sitting down with him. “Do you want me to go with you? I won’t stay the whole time, I’ll just drop you off with her then walk around myself, might just get some new clothes.”
‘You bought new clothes a week ago…’ Soul thinks.
“Are you gonna get her something? How long are you gonna be out for?” Soul shrugs his shoulders at Keeho’s question. The other bedroom door opens, Jiung emerging from the dark room with a loud yawn before closing the door. “Morning.” He greets, going for the same breakfast choice as the two boys sitting at the table.
“Does he know?” Keeho points at Jiung with his thumb. “Jiung and Intak don’t know.” The boy at the kitchen counter looks at them weirdly. “Me and Intak don’t know what?” He questions, suspicious of his two group-mates. “L/N.” Keeho answers.
“Who’s L/N?”
“He doesn’t know…!” Keeho whispers.
“Oh…” Jiung says after a brief moment of staring into space. “Isn’t that Soul’s girlfriend?”
Keeho nearly chokes on his cereal. “Girlfriend?!”
“No, she’s my friend!”
“Oh, my bad. You’re always smiling at your phone and you talk so lovey dovey in your room. The walls are quite thin.” Soul couldn’t figure out what was more embarrassing; the fact that the people in the other room could hear him talking to you or the fact two people thought he had a girlfriend. “We’re still trainees, Jiung, we can’t date. Besides, he’s only 16.”
“Just saying. Maybe after we debut, you can date��“
“Jiung, if you don’t stop talking, I’m going to cut your hair off in your sleep.” Keeho threatens. It seems to work, given that Jiung begins to eat his breakfast in silence. “I guess he does know.” Soul mutters, mostly to himself.
“So are you getting her anything?” Keeho asks, going back to his answered question. “Ring.” Soul shows off the accessories that decorated his fingers. “Really? I thought you said you’d never give those away. And that you’d end the world if you ever lost them…”
“I promised. And we can match.”
“Aww.” Jiung coos, the two boys at the table glaring at him. “What?”
Keeho turns back to Soul, taking their empty cereal bowls and stacking them on top of each other. “Go get changed, we’ll leave soon.” He says, going to put the dishes in the sick.
By the time Soul gets back to his room, Jongseob and Theo are awake, their lamps on. “Morning, Soul. How are you up so early?” Theo greets, Soul shrugging in response. They watch as their early bird roommate picks an outfit, throwing his clothes onto the bed. “Are you going somewhere?” Jongseob asks.
“I’m seeing L/N today.”
They both look at him, wide eyed and now fully awake. “Really?!”
“It was your idea.” He says, referring to both of them. “When are you leaving?” Theo asks, eyes still on Soul. “Soon. Keeho is walking with me. Then we’ll be on our own.”
“So it’s like a date?” Jongseob nudges Theo hard in the side. “Does everyone think that?” Soul groans, his roommates heading for the door.“Everyone that knows.” Jongseob smirks before he shuts the door, leaving Soul alone with his thoughts in the bedroom.
On the walk there, Soul plays with his fingers, fiddles with his rings, almost too nervous to even function. Keeho seems to notice, giving him a pat on the back. “There’s nothing to worry about, Soul. You’ve seen each other, you know each other. You’ve been looking forward to this for so long, what’s wrong?”
“It’s… different in person. I’m excited, but I’m scared I’ll…” Soul looks for the word, Keeho noticing him struggling to finish his sentence. “Embarrass yourself?” Soul nods. “You’ve seen all sides of each other, Soul. I hear you laugh at like… 11 in the evening. I think I heard you fall off your bed once.”
“She’s seen that side of you. I’m sure you’ve seen that side of her, too. You’ll be okay.” Keeho’s words make up the rest of the walk, as Soul stops in his path as his eyes land on you, sitting on a park bench perfectly shaded by a tree. He stands there, simply admiring you, and how he’s so happy he’s seeing you not on his phone screen.
He pulls out his phone, opening your contact and sending you a text.
Look to your right 👀
You do exactly that, and though you’re far away, he sees such a bright glow in your eyes as you get up and run over to him, jumping onto him for a hug. Soul is surprised at your sudden gesture, but happily accepts, holding you tight and even spinning you around.
“Shota! I’m so glad you–“ You notice Keeho out of the corner of your eye, simply smiling at the two of you. “Oh, hi Keeho...” You greet awkwardly, embarrassed that he saw the whole thing. “Nice to meet you, L/N. How long are you gonna be out for?”
“Until Soul wants to go home. A few hours, maybe.”
“Make sure you two stick together, okay? Otherwise all of us are gonna get in trouble in one way or another.” Keeho says lightheartedly before walking off. You look back at Soul, who’s staring at you with the brightest sparkle in his eyes. “You look even better in person.” You say, brushing his hair out of the way.
“Are you saying I don’t look good when we call?”
“I’m saying you look good no matter what.”
“Can I say the same for you?” He asks, as if you’re going to say no. “I actually want to show you something. And I have lots to tell you.” You take his hand without a second thought, pulling him with you. He’s caught off guard with your sudden gesture, but doesn’t protest in any way. Really, he enjoys it.
“Is this okay with you? Sorry, I forgot to ask.” Shota nods with a smile, and that’s all the assurance you need to keep your hold on his hand to guide him. “I hope we can meet like this again sometime. All the time.”
“Hey, I’m here now. Worry about that later.”
“You’re right. Come on!” You tug on his hand as you begin to lightly jog across the street, slowing down when you get nearby. “Okay, close your eyes.” He’s confused at first, but obliges. You guide him to an outside display of a clothing store. “You can open them now.”
Shota uncovers his eyes, seeing your face on display as a model for said store. “It’s you!” He exclaims as you nod off to the side. His gaze switches from you to the photo and back, and he finds himself staring at it for almost too long.
“I want a picture with it.” You laugh, taking his phone from him and snapping a few photos, switching to silly faces for the camera. “Do you like it?”
“I love it. You look so pretty. Beautiful.” Your face goes warm as you stare at him, and he stares at the photo. “You look really good.” He smiles, and your heart starts racing like never before. “Shota…” You mutter into his sleeve, holding onto his hand again. “What?”
“Let’s go. You can see my face some place else.”
“Can I get a photo with them too?”
You roll your eyes, unable to hold in your laugh. “Sure. You can take as many photos as you want.”
The day is full of you running around, taking photos, sharing food and drinks. And for almost all of it, Shota’s hand is in yours, and his grip never loosens. He never wants to let go.
Sitting at an outdoor table of a small café, you hand Shota a gift bag. “What’s this?” He asks. “Happy belated birthday, Shota.” At the sound of that, he looks through the bag, taking out a small potato plush. “Cute…!” He mutters, squeezing it in his hands. “I have one of my own. It came in a set, so I gave this one to you.”
“I love it.” He smiles, going through the bag again. There’s something at the bottom, which he grabs and pulls out. It’s a bracelet, similar to the one you were wearing at the moment. “I wanted to give you something that reminded you of me. If you ever get lonely. Sounds cheesy, but–“
“I’m never taking this off.” His dramatic reply cuts off your sentence as you help him tighten it on his wrist. “I want to give you something too.” You tilt your head. “But it was just your birthday. Shouldn’t you be the one receiving gifts right now?”
“Well, as someone once said, I want to give you something that reminds you of me.” Shota holds out his hands, showing off his rings. “Pick one.”
At first, you’re shocked. “Really?” He nods, watching as your eyes scan over his fingers. “This one.” You point. He takes it off and puts it on for you, and it somehow fits just fine. “I feel so cool now! Thank you.”
On the way back to your place, Shota holds onto your hand again, to the point where if he were to let go, you’d feel like you forgot a piece of yourself. “Are you walking back alone?” You ask, looking up at the sky, which painted a pinkish sunset above. “Keeho is gonna meet me here after you go inside.”
“I just don’t want you walking by yourself. It’s a bit scary.”
“I know. But everything is under control, so I’ll be okay.”
When you reach your home, you turn to look at your friend. “Today was fun. I wanna hang out with you like this again.”
“So do I. But I’m… y’know, I’m busy. With a lot.”
“I know you are. I’ll be waiting for you, Shota. I’m always ready.”
“Haku.”
“Huh?”
“My name. My name is Haku.”
“Haku Shota?” You clarify. He nods. “You have such a pretty name.”
“You’re pretty.”
Oops.
He didn’t mean to say that out loud. While he was embarrassed, your heart was racing. Your face was warm, and it matched the sky.
“You’re pretty, Haku. You are… very handsome.”
You understand how he feels now, attempting to return the compliment. “Am I weird for saying that? Because… I really do mean it. I’m just awkward.” You explain. “Not at all. Have I been weird? Calling you pretty…?”
“No! No– you’re, you’re okay. I liked it– I mean, um…” You stutter over your words, cursing at yourself for revealing too much. Haku laughs. “I’ll call you that more if you like it so much.”
“If you want to kill me, go ahead.”
“I thought you said you liked it.”
“I’ll die of a heart attack. I’ll die happy.”
“Soul!” Someone calls. It’s Keeho, waving at him from afar. “Thanks for today. I’m… I really liked spending time with you.” Soul responds with a long, tight hug, the feeling of being in his arms comforting. “I don’t wanna let go.” Soul mutters into your shoulder. “You’re gonna have to at some point.”
“What if I don’t?”
“Shota–“
“I’ll just stay with you so then we can hang out all the time.”
“You know you can’t do that.” You hear him sigh and reluctantly pull away. “Bye, L/N.”
“Y/N.”
“Hm?”
“It’s Y/N.”
He huffs with a smile. “Bye, Y/N.” He waves as you walk off, walking towards and with Keeho once he sees you let inside your house. “How was it?”
“Really fun. I’m already excited for another one.” Keeho looks at Soul’s hands, noticing one of his fingers bare, a bag in his hand, and his wrist adorned with a new bracelet. He really gave you one of his rings. And you gave him something too.
Though this was your first hang out in a few years, Keeho sensed something unbeknownst to Soul that was bound to bloom at some point. He just didn’t know when.
When they got back to the dorm, Soul went straight to his room and changed, lying down on the bed with your contact open. He changed your name.
L/N Y/N (ㆁωㆁ)
And sent you one last text for the night.
You have a very pretty name (*´꒳`*)
Make that two.
Goodnight (_ _).。o○
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You find it odd that it took you two years to find out each other’s first names, but life goes on the way it always does.
You also found it odd that you enjoyed talking to Shota so much. You’ve always enjoyed talking to him, you just enjoy it a lot more now. Maybe too much.
You were the first person he texted when he debuted. You were also the first person to see any of his performance videos. One thing stayed consistent throughout:
He was wearing your bracelet.
Sometimes it would be hidden under his sleeve, the strings to tighten it peeking out just a little bit. He really meant it when he said he would never take it off, even if that meant getting into trouble with the stylists.
You were peaking in your career as well. You’d gotten a lot more busy with bookings and shows despite being so young. But despite your schedules, you always found time to talk to each other, like always.
And you even found time to hang out in person a lot more than before.
You started wearing masks in public. Sometimes you got recognized, and so did Shota. Nothing too drastic to the point where paparazzi started following you and taking pictures from the bushes. Shota was still careful, though. A scandal too soon into their debut could wreck him and his group’s career.
As careful as he was, Shota still held onto your hand in public. He was much more nervous now that more people knew who he was, and he always found himself latching onto you. The language barrier slowly began to shrink for him, his Korean improving, but he had a hard time talking to strangers. To his group, he was fine.
He couldn’t stop the uneasy feeling in his stomach the closer they got to the counter. Why was he so nervous? He felt like he couldn’t talk to anyone at all. “Could I get a 2 with onion rings?” You ask, the cashier at the till looking at Shota next. He was frozen in place, staring at her, suddenly squeezing your hand with a tight grip. “And a 5. Large fries.” You order for him, paying and taking the receipt and cups.
Shota sits down at a table by the window, ashamed and embarrassed, guilt overwhelming him. It wasn’t such a big deal, yet he felt like a failure for not being able to do something so simple. “Do you want to share?” He doesn’t respond, staring and spacing out at the table mindlessly.
You sit in the chair across from him, looking around to see if anyone is watching. You place your hand on top of his, rings colliding with each other, which brings him back to reality. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You ask with such genuineness that he feels guilty for even worrying over such a trivial thing.
“Nothing, it’s… it’s stupid. So stupid.”
“I can’t know how stupid it is if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.”
Shota looks up at you with puppy eyes, breaking eye contact once he begins to speak. “I… um, I froze when we were ordering. You do it for me all the time and I wanted to do it for myself this time but I just couldn’t… talk. I couldn’t speak, I’ve been getting better at talking but I’m still scared to even order my own food– this is so dumb.” He rests his head on the table, messy black hair hiding his face.
Your hand moves from his hand to his head, fingers running through his hair as you caress him. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, Shota. I’m glad you’re trying, you’re having confidence in yourself. It’s good to take it slow sometimes. I’m always here for you, Keeho is always there for you, your group is there for you! There’s always next time, okay? It may seem like a small step to others, but all that matters is how much it means to you. We’re always here for you. No matter if it’s me or anyone from your group.”
When he lifts his head up, your hand naturally moves from his hair down to his face, your thumb resting on his cheek. “Thank you.” The sparkle in his eyes comes back, as he stares at you for a long time, yet you don’t seem to mind and reciprocate it. Noticing how you two probably look to bystanders, you pull your hand away, face warmer than it should be.
“Um, do you just wanna share? I forgot to ask for medium instead of large.” You refer to the cups in your hand, and he nods, watching as you stumble while getting up from the chair and over to the drink fountain. The cup presses against the trigger, watching as the soda fills the cup to the brim.
As you walk back and grab your order, you can’t help but overthink. Why did you do that? It looked so intimate, and if people knew who you were, if people knew who he was… you’d both get in trouble. Shota would get in trouble because of you. You knew him too well to know that he’d take the blame and risk getting kicked out not even a year into their debut.
When you bring the tray to the table, you feel his eyes on you, and your heart had no reason to be beating so fast in the moment. “Are you okay? You look worried.” This time, Shota asks you. Your head perks up at his voice, snapping you out of it. “I’m okay. Let’s just eat.”
Everything goes back to normal in your silly, lighthearted fashion. You’d steal fries off his side, he’d drink from your straw, and you two would just mess around as you always would. No one came up to either of you with your masks off, so you two continued to be yourselves in the moment, with no one staring.
You find beauty in his personality. How you get to see him like this since you two are so comfortable with each other. Is he like this at his dorm? Probably. But is he ever this excited? Maybe not. You get to see him at full energy, unhinged and expressive, a side that the public might not see in him. And you felt so incredibly lucky.
Shota liked the way you stared at him, and the way a smile would creep up on your face. The way you’d hit a table over and over again or clap your hands when you found something funny. The way you’d pick up on his subtle hints and gestures and how you’d always found a way to make him feel better, the way you’d instantly recognize what’s wrong. You were patient with him, and that’s all he’s ever wanted.
He saw Keeho like an older brother; he acted the same way you did, but there was something different about the way you approached things. The way you weren’t afraid to be so physical with him, and how he wouldn’t recoil from your touch. He loved your hugs, and the way you’d bury yourself in him whenever you did.
Soul finds himself thinking of you at the dorms. He always thinks of you, but this was thinking of you at an extreme. You were on his mind 24/7. He’d think of how much fun certain practices would be if you were there. How you’d criticize him for putting the seasoning packets after putting the ramen in the bowl. Sometimes he’d imagine getting surprised by you. What would happen if you walked through the door right now?
You two saw each other’s quirks and you loved them. You saw sides of each other that the public couldn’t, and it made you both feel special. When you felt your heart racing when you thought of him, you couldn’t help but feel full of dread.
When he saw your photos or clips of your shows, he hated that his face went warm when you came on screen. That he was so hyper focused on you and nothing else.
You were smart. Emotionally and academically. You knew what was happening, but didn’t want to accept it. Really, it was process of elimination.
You started to have feelings for your best friend.
And you hated it. You hated it because him being in the industry pretty much means that he can’t date at all. You’d have to live with feelings that would never be reciprocated, and sometimes it hurt whenever you saw his face, especially when he was looking so damn good.
So you always stayed in denial of your feelings. You gaslighted, convinced, manipulated yourself to get over it, but nothing worked. You couldn’t help that your best friend was just that talented and attractive that when he texts you, you feel butterflies in your stomach and a smile grows onto your face.
Soul, however, was much more unaware of it. He never liked anyone. He was left alone with his thoughts for majority of his childhood, and had female friends but no romantic attraction to anyone.
When he finds himself pondering at the kitchen table, spacing out as he tries to figure out his feelings, his older brother figure, Keeho, sits down with him, after noticing Soul leaving the last bit of food in his bowl and just staring blankly. “You okay?” His voice snaps Soul out of it as he nods.
Intak sits down in the other seat with his own bowl, unintentionally now being a part of the conversation. “Something’s on your mind. You can tell me, I won’t judge.” Soul knows Keeho won’t judge. Intak, however…
Soul’s gaze moves from Keeho to Intak. “Intak won’t care. What’s bothering you?”
“What are we talking about?” Intak asks, clueless.
“L/N.”
“What’s up with L/N? Didn’t you just see her last weekend?”
“Is L/N that girl Soul’s friends with? I saw her advertising a brand at a department store the other day.” Intak overhears, pitching into the conversation. “Yeah, that’s her.”
“What’s wrong? Did she insult you or something?”
The more Soul tries to think about it with the words in his head, his heart beats faster and faster that he brings his hand to his chest, feeling the rapid, strong pulse against his palm. How did you manage to make him feel like this? Like he was speechless?
Keeho seemed to notice something, because he moved Soul’s hand and put his own on his chest, feeling how fast it was beating and how powerful it was. “Your face is all red. Are you having a fever?” Intak asks, totally opposite to what Keeho is thinking.
“Oh my god.” He starts, acting overdramatic. “You like her.” When Keeho says it, it makes Soul cringe, and he hates that he came to the same conclusion. “Soul likes who?” Intak is still clueless about the whole situation, probably tired out from practice that day.
“L/N, you idiot, get your head out of the clouds.”
“I like her. A lot.”
“You like her as more than a friend?” Keeho clarifies, Soul nodding. He can see the conflict in his leader’s eyes, a sense of understanding yet a tinge of guilt. “I know we can’t… date. I really want to. She’s the first person who’s ever understood me… ever since I got here.”
His leader sighs. “I think you should tell her. But… be careful. You’re putting a lot of things at risk here.”
“I know I am.”
“Soul’s a pretty quiet person. He should be okay. I mean, as long as none of us ramble about it, we should be fine.” Keeho nods along, his face content. On the inside however, he knows damn well all of them ramble way too much.
And they could ramble about you and Soul.
“Should I text her?”
“Tell her in person. If you really like her, and you really do mean it, you need to tell her the next time you two meet up.”
“But what if I can’t say it?” Keeho is well aware of Soul’s problem with freezing up when talking to others, yet this was something bound to happen, even with you. “She’s patient. She’ll wait as long as she needs to for you to say it. You’ll be okay, Soul. I’m pretty sure she likes you back.”
“She does?”
Keeho scoffs. “Have you seen the way she is around you? Sometimes she stutters over her words when you’re around, she’s always waiting for you, she lets you take her food… there’s a whole list that goes on for a while.”
Soul’s gut feeling was right. He did have a crush on you. A really big one that would only grow if he didn’t do something about it quick.
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He arranged to hang out with you the following week. His heart would not stop beating as if it was about to soar right out of his chest. He swore that if you put your thumb on the right spot on his wrist, you’d feel how nervous he was getting as time passed, and he did not want that happening soon enough.
You noticed something else. He seemed a lot more tense, spaced out, and hesitant. To be honest, you were almost the same. You hesitated to hold his hand like you usually did when you walked with him, worried someone would recognize either of you and see what was happening.
Anything simple you’d over-romanticize. He’d block you from the wind. He’d freak out and any display of you and take a picture of it, smiling as he checked them one last time for any retakes. How he’d play with your hand when you two sat together. When you’d share your food.
Everything you did normally was now something you saw as something beyond your friendship. You wanted it to be that way, you really did, but knowing Soul, as clueless as he is, he probably didn’t mean anything at all behind his actions. Everything has just been so normalized between the two of you.
Your heart raced as fast as his. One could say that if you compared both of your pulses, they would sync up, or be extremely close in heart rate. His face had the slightest tinge of pink that you noticed under certain lighting— you didn’t get to look at it long since he didn’t want to call you out for staring.
“I really like your hair colors. They’ve all looked really good on you.” You say, Soul surprised at the sudden compliment. “I’ve only dyed it once or twice…”
“And it looks good. Even your hairstyles! The braids are so cute! If it gets long enough, I should give you pigtails.”
“Long enough that hopefully I don’t get scheduled for a haircut.”
“I’d cry, honestly.”
Shota stops in his tracks in front of your place, the sudden tug on your hand holding you back. “I need to tell you something. It’s been… stuck in my head for a while.” He admits, kicking away a stone at his feet. “What is it?” The look you give him almost makes him back out, but he knew keeping it in for longer would only eat at him. And it wouldn’t be a while until he’d see you again.
“Um, I–“
“Soul!”
Shota turns around at the sound of the voice, Keeho standing at a distance and waving at him. He turns back to face you, taking a deep breath.
“L/N…”
“I like you.”
He notices the shock in your expression, your eyes widening slightly and jaw slightly hanging open.
“I like you a lot.” He continues.
Shota doesn’t know what to make of your blank stare at him, since you do so for longer than you should’ve. “I-I know it’s hard for us to do any relationship related stuff because of our careers. Um, I get if you’re worried about all of this and dating in general but…”
“Shota.” You cut him off, his eyes landing on you. You take both of his hands, thumbs brushing over the metal of his rings. “I want to go out with you.” You say so forwardly that he almost becomes the shocked one. “I really like you. I really do. I… I don’t want your career to be ruined because of me. You worked your ass off for this and God knows how much we’ve been separated because of it.”
You squeeze his hands, looking at how they intertwine. Shota speaks up. “Is it crazy that I like you so much?”
“How much?”
“That I feel like you’re the only one who’ll ever understand me? That you’re the only one I’ve ever had actual genuine feelings for? Am I too young to be thinking about these kinds of things?”
“I ask myself the same questions. Every. Single. Day.”
He giggles, feeling your head lean against him. You look up, chin resting against him with a light in your eyes he hadn’t seen before. “I don’t think you’re crazy. I think we’re two teenagers stupidly in love.”
“Soul, hurry up!” Keeho calls.
You can practically hear him roll his eyes the way he scoffs, making you giggle. “Go out with me.” He asks, more of a statement than a request. His chin rested atop your head, his hand rubbing your back with reassurance. “M’kay.” You agree with a smile, voice muffled.
“We’ll keep it a secret.”
“Even from the guys?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Your dad is calling you.” He laughs at your joke, noticing you lost in thought. You pull away a bit, looking at the ground for a moment. In one swift movement, you tiptoe and peck his cheek. “Bye!” You briefly bid, briskly walking away. Shota raises his hand to where you kissed him, almost forgetting in his moment of bliss that Keeho had already called him twice.
The walk back is mostly in silence, Soul doing his best to stop his giddy little smile on his face from growing any more. Keeho didn’t look back at him once.
The sun is fully set by the time they arrive back at the dorms, Keeho entering with an extravagant greeting. “We’re baaack!” He gleefully exclaims. Shuffling can be heard from a distance as the boys begin to take off their shoes. “Soul, how was the–“ Theo starts, being cut off after seeing something on Soul’s face.
When he gets up from kneeling down, Theo notices a light pink mark on Soul’s face, and it for sure was not his blush. “You– She–“
“What’s happening–“ Jiung is equally as shocked as Soul walks into the main space. “Oh my god.” He mutters, hand going to cover his dropped jaw. “She kissed you!” Theo exclaims. Keeho immediately comes running over, grasping Soul’s face and turning it to find the mark. He gasped louder than he should’ve when he found it.
“Just on the cheek.” Soul felt like he had to specify, but the three boys continued to jump around and freak out over the mark. “Cute! Ugh– we need to meet her sometime!” Jiung gushes.
“She just kissed me today and you guys already want to meet her in person?”
They all nod.
“I think you guys would scare her. It’s a bit cramped in here… and we aren’t even allowed to have girls here.”
“Maybe we’ll run into her during a photoshoot! She’s getting pretty famous nowadays.” Jiung adds. “I’ve already met her so many times, just saying. She’s cool.” Keeho bragged before walking into his room.
Intak enters the living space, wondering why Theo and Jiung are crowded around Soul. Keeho goes back out to join them with his empty bottle of water, originally with the task of refilling it. Soul feels a buzz in his pocket, taking it out to see your name on his phone screen.
“She’s calling you!” Jiung gasps, Theo shushing him right after. Soul swipes right to accept the call. “Put her on speaker!” Intak whisper yells, Soul holding out his phone for his group members to huddle around it.
Jongseob comes out of his room, joining the boys even though he had no idea what exactly was going on. “Hello?” Soul greets. “Hi Shota!”
“I thought we just saw each other 20 minutes ago. Do you miss me already?” He jokes, attempting not to stutter over his words. “Oh, we’re speaking in Korean now! I see how it is.” He can hear your sarcasm over the phone, a smile growing on his lips. “What’s up? Did you forget something?”
“My parents kinda caught us outside. When I…”
“Oh. Right.”
“They want you to come over.”
“So soon?” Intak says a little too loud.
“Who was that?”
“No one– just a show in the background.”
“Oh. Well, you’ve met them before. On calls and stuff, they know who you are. You know them, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Because they saw… us… they want to meet you. I told them about how busy you were and your schedule and that it wouldn’t be for a while until you were free again–“
“Y/N.” He cuts you off for a second. “I’ll let you know when I’m free.”
“Really?”
“I want them to know I’m a good person. That I am doing my best for you.” His groupmates gush audibly, and it definitely picks up on the microphone. “You’re going to make me miss you a whole lot more if you keep talking like that.” Soul chuckles. “They’re listening, aren’t they?”
“What?”
“Your group. That did not sound like a TV show in the background.”
They all look at each other, surprised. “Um… maybe?”
“Agh– they heard all of that?! So embarrassing…”
“They wanna meet you too. My group.”
“I thought girls weren’t allowed in your dorms.”
“Outside of the dorms. Possibly in a work environment?”
“That could work! I’m already looking forward to it.”
“They’re all weird.” Soul feels everyone’s eyes on him. “A bit. Just saying.” He hears you giggle on the other end.
“Shota?”
“Mhm?”
“I love you.”
It goes dead silent for a moment, before all the boys erupt into loud cheering and hollering, Soul having to cover his ear to hear you. “Is it too soon for me to say that?” You ask.
“Did you mean it?” He answers with another question, silence on your end for a second.
“I did.”
“Then no. If anything, I think you’re 3 years too late.”
“Have you been waiting that long for me to say it?”
“Mmm, maybe just half a year.”
“Figured.”
“Y/N?” He switches back to Japanese.
“Yes?”
“I love you too.”
Though in another language, the boys can understand the small phrase, their montage of cheers going on for longer than it should have.
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As both of you had begun to become more globally renowned, so did your relationship with each other. At first, it was viewed as the two of you being very close friends. After certain interactions and nitpickings, people began to question the nature and status of your relationship.
People noticed the ring on your finger and how it looked exactly like the ones on Soul’s. When the string to tighten his bracelet was visible from under his sleeves, some made connections to learn that it looked like yours. Neither of you took it off, even during work events.
If it couldn’t be on your wrist, you managed to use your bracelet as an anklet. It was more subtle, but you ended up having to send pictures to Shota to show proof you kept it on.
Strings were pulled. Your company met with his, and despite their strict dating laws and restrictions, they managed to work around them. You just hoped they weren’t bribed in any way.
You did end up visiting their dorm a few times after the workarounds, and Shota was always there at the door to be the first person to greet you. His physical touch became more than just holding your hand. He clung onto you; he loved hugs, he loved hugging you.
You loved his hair, playing with it and tying it up into different hairstyles. Pigtails, braids, the occasional half up ponytail. You were always fascinated at the fact every single colour looked so good on him.
The rest of the boys had to get used to your presence. Given you didn’t visit often since Soul would rather visit you, sometimes the sight of you seated with Soul on their couch was a shocker to them. Keeho got used to it the quickest.
From your perspective, you were overall cautious but at the same time didn’t care if any news of the two of you happened to get out. It would be shocking from one end, but it would follow with claims saying that it was bound to happen sometime. Considering how young you were, sometimes you had your doubts. Most of the time you forgot about those doubts.
As for someone like Shota, with his growing popularity and presence in the K-pop industry, he was worried one little leak would cause him to get kicked out of his company. Until paparazzi footage of the two of you, his hands wrapped around your waist to meet in the front as you waited at a bus stop, was posted on a website.
You both panicked. You apologized, he apologized; it was a lot of back and forth. All that came from netizens was the mutual discussion of the chance that you two might be in a relationship. The girl on billboards across Korea going out with a rising star in K-pop? Both of them soon to be international? It was unexpected.
The public was pleasantly surprised. It was a match they hadn’t expected, so much so they decided to try and guess how you two met and how your relationship started. Though you never went deeper than cute photos and interactions that just had to happen in the public eye.
Soul was asked the question a few times.
“Is Y/N a close friend of yours?”
“What’s your relationship with the model?”
The members would either glare at the interviewer or look at Soul worried. He’d always respond with:
“She’s my girlfriend.”
Which pretty much revealed the terms you two were on to every person on the internet.
The boys always took pictures and videos of the two of you as well, if you were ever to end up working together somehow. If you came to the dorm, or if they ran into you two in public. You’re certain Intak and Theo have way too many photos of him falling asleep on you or vice versa.
Soul scrolls on his phone, noticing a few posts of the two of you as he goes deeper down the rabbit hole. As he goes to rewatch his dance practice of the day, he gets a text from you.
Shota
Haku
Haku Shota
Hi (╹◡╹)
Um
I know this is gonna sound like really stupid and crazy and weird
What is it?
Is it okay if I stay at your dorm tonight
Soul looks up from his phone and the condition his shared room is in. It’s decently clean, at least his area is. Theo and Jongseob’s area is debatable.
It’s okay if not! I was just wondering
You can
Just let me ask the guys first
It’s really messy in here
He puts in his phone in his pocket before he’s able to check your next text, reluctantly getting out of bed to go and ask. He opens the door, at first sticking his head out, but then fully shuffling through the door.
“Hey Soul. I thought you were sleeping?” Keeho says, going to sit on the couch. “I need to ask you guys something.”
“What is it?” Intak adds.
“Y/N wants to come over.”
“This late?” Sometimes it surprises him how dense Intak could be sometimes. “She wants to stay over. Sleep.”
The boys all look up and around at the area, noticing the slight mess. Despite you seeing the area in such conditions most of the time when you came over, they suddenly felt obligated to do something rather than have you sleep in an environment with said mess.
“We’ll clean up. Tell her we said yes. Is everything okay?” Keeho said, getting up from the couch.
“We?”
“Get up, Jiung, and let the girl feel welcome.”
“Should I help?”
“Maybe clean our room.” Theo pats Soul on the shoulder, letting him walk back into said room.
Shota???
Are you there?
Pls respond
Sorry
I asked they said yes
I’m already on my way
We’ll talk more when I get there
I’ll text you
He can hear shuffling and commanding outside his room as he tosses the dirty laundry into their basket in the corner of the room, fixing his nightstand and somewhat making his bed since he was gonna lie down in it immediately afterwards.
By the time he gets a text, the room is mostly clean and tidy, prompting him to go and open the door for you. Your eyes meet with his, though they look dull and tired, more than they would be after a day of shoots.
“Hey.” You hide your gaze with the top of your hood. “Hi. Are you okay?”
“Let’s talk about it in your room. Is this a bad time?”
“Not at all. Come in.”
You nearly stumble over your own feet going to take your shoes off, Soul noticing there’s something more going on and it’s not just that you’re exhausted.
Not wanting to be rude, you briefly greet the rest of the boys before swiftly going into Soul’s shared room, Jongseob lying on his bed on his phone and simply acknowledging you when you enter the room, dropping your bag on the floor and plopping yourself on Soul’s bed. He sits next to you, your face covered by your hood.
He gently takes it off in case you’d stop him at the motion, seeing those dull eyes of yours, a bit pink and swollen. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” He softly asks, holding your hands in the same manner as his voice. “I’m having a few problems at home. Nothing with my parents. Extended family.”
“What happened?”
“My parents are having some maintenance and small renovations done on our house, so we’re staying in an extra room at my grandma’s for a little bit. My aunt lives in the other room.”
You inhale, trying to grasp onto your words.
“Um, my aunt is being,” you start, “being a real bitch. I know I can’t say that and it’s rude to even think so but God knows everyone in that room was pissed at her. She insulted my mom and her decision to move here and put me through modelling at such a young age.”
“She called me a wannabe, and that I wasn’t gonna get anywhere in life just posing for the camera. Called me a slut for allowing to be in shoots where I show a lot of skin when really it’s usually just a tank top and a skirt.”
“She said she felt bad for whoever I was dating that they had to be with a girl who loves showing herself off to the general public. Said I was practically naked if I showed too much skin.”
“So I don’t feel safe or comfortable in that house right now, and my parents were nice enough to let me stay someplace else. They agreed when I told them about you.”
Soul sat there, a silent rage burning through his veins. You had a completely valid reason to address her with such vulgarity. He couldn’t offer any advice in the moment, all that he could do was hug you.
“No wonder she still lives with your grandma.” He mutters into your shoulder, your hand hitting his back hard as you chuckle. “You can’t say that, Shota!”
“Who’s stopping me? I know you want to say it too.”
“Shota…”
“Fine. Only because you don’t want me to. Still, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Stay as long as you need to.” Soul’s eyes meet with Jongseob’s, their stares translating into sentences.
‘As long as she needs to?’
‘Just let her. Please.’
‘Don’t ask me, ask Keeho.’
Shota rolls his eyes at his roommate, attention back on you. “I’m gonna go change now.” You say, pulling away. “Where are you gonna sleep?”
“Um, I was thinking we could share your bed. But I can always take the couch if you don’t want to–“
“Share. Yeah– yeah, we can share.”
You smile, kissing his forehead before you leave the room. Jongseob’s eyes are on Soul the minute the door shuts. “What did she say?” He meant to ask: ‘What did she say to make her kiss you in front of me?’
“She wants to share my bed.”
“You look really nervous.”
“I’m not nervous, just surprised. And I’ve… obviously never shared it before.”
“Just sleep normally, Soul. What’s so hard about that?”
“Do I snore?”
“You don’t. Theo does. Maybe get her some earplugs.”
“I don’t have any.” His roommate shrugs his shoulders.
“Jongseob…”
“Fine.” He tosses Soul a clean, unopened pair of foam earplugs. “Are you actually that nervous?”
Soul’s ashamed to admit it. “We’re close, but we haven’t been this close before. Not at all. I have no idea if I kick in my sleep– what if I kick her?”
“You kick like once or twice but not every other second. Besides, if L/N says she’s in love with you, she’s gotta be in love with everything about you. Including your sleeping habits. She’d love you regardless of what you do in your sleep.”
You come back in sweats and a loose shirt, going to lay on the bed while Shota sat on the edge. You place your hand on top of his, prompting him to turn around and look at you. “Are you that tired?”
“Korean all of a sudden?”
“I’m getting better, aren’t I?”
“By the day, Shota.”
“To answer your question, since I was crying for 10 minutes at home, yes, I’m tired. Are you gonna just gonna sit there or are you gonna get some rest?” Soul simply responds moving you over on the bed so he can sleep on the side closest to the wall. You turn to face him, all flushed and doe eyed. “Am I too close?” Your head rests against his chest and atop his arm, probably the definition of close.
“No.”
“I can always move if–“
“Just stay here. You’ve had a rough day.”
His other arm wraps around you, his hand on your back and pushing you closer to him. “Do you think we’re too young to be this in love?” You feel his head move. “What do you mean?”
“That we aren’t old enough to make bigger decisions for ourselves? This… this is a big thing. People say that we’re really young to already be dating, and I always shrug it off, but it’s bothering me. What if they’re right?”
“Are you doubting us?”
“I’m not, I’m really not! People are just overlooking what’s going on between us and they’re making assumptions and–“
“This relationship is only between us and no one else. We don’t need to worry about what others think. We only need to worry about each other.”
“You’re getting good at switching languages smoothly.” You say, trying to sneak a bit of humor in there. “I learn from the best.” His hand once on your back now moved to your head, stroking it smoothly. “I’m really grateful for you, actually. I hope you know that.” His words melt your heart as they always do, but somehow you find them more meaningful.
“When you first helped me here. When you offered to keep in touch and look where that brought us. When you don’t get bothered every time I ask you how to say something in Korean. And you still like being with me even though sometimes I can be a bit…”
“Bothersome?”
“I was thinking annoying, but what you said sounds nicer.”
“Shota, I never thought of you as annoying. You’re teaching yourself with the help of your group getting around and the culture and its differences.”
“How did you get used to it so quickly?”
“I didn’t. I’ve been here so many times to visit but living here? Oh, it was a culture shock to me.”
“So I’m really not alone in this?”
“You were never alone, Haku.”
You called him by his first name.
Your eyes meet at your mention of it, Shota looking at you with such a pure, joy filled gaze that was silent behind his irises. It was moments like this where you got to admire his beauty, how pretty he was, his features and how they worked so well together.
You’re drawn to him. So much so that you end up giving him a soft, gentle kiss on the lips.
As much as it was a moment of euphoria, the moment you pulled away, you immediately got flustered and embarrassed, turning around since you weren’t able to face him. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have–“ And seeing Jongseob on the other bed? He heard a lot and probably saw a lot which made the whole thing more embarrassing for you.
You kick your feet slightly, hiding your face in your hands and just then feeling how hot your it was in the moment. Suddenly, you feel his arms wrap around your waist like they did in the photos of you two at that bus stop, bringing you closer into him. “I liked it. It was my first.” He mutters, voice slightly muffled.
“It was my first too.” You reply, hands off your face and turning around to bury it in his shoulder, still embarrassed to face him. You wrap an arm around him as to hug him loosely. “I love you, Haku.” You raise your head to bump your nose against his. He giggles, hugging you tighter.
“I love you more, Y/N.”
“Even more than your games?”
“More than my games and my rings. Get some rest now.”
You want to kiss him again in that moment, but he does it for you. Short and chaste, your lips meet long enough to feel each other’s connection, but short enough that it doesn’t escalate.
“At this point, can you two just sleep already? I’d rather you hug and spoon than hear you kiss all evening.” Jongseob sneers, almost forgetting he was even in the room. Soul feels you giggle into his shoulder, having you so close being the least of his worries. In fact, it was something he cherished.
Soul never let you out of his hold, and you never let him out of his.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
☀️: guys look at this
☀️: [Two images attached]
🐿️: OMG
🐿️: THEY’RE SO CUTE
🐿️: THEY’RE LIKE CUDDLING AIDHSIDNW
🐿️: IM SAVING THESE THANK YOU VERY MUCH
🐺: theo why are you taking pictures of them while they’re sleeping 🤨
🐺: that’s a little bit weird
☀️: ok but they’re cute
☀️: you’d do it too
🐺: tbh i would
🐯: they kissed
🐺: HUHH???
🐿️: SJAODJEBDIEBDK
🐶: wait actually
🐿️: where did you come from
🐶: i was disinterested until i saw jongseob’s text
🐺: are we talking like a kiss on the cheek or forehead cuz they do that a lot
🐯: lips
🐿️: OH MY GOD WHAT
🐺: WAIT ACTUALLY
🐺: SOUL GOT HIS FIRST KISS
🐶: keeho u probably havent kissed anyone why r u talking
🐺: shut up
☀️: yeah i walked in on them
🐯: they didnt make out or anything tho i think they’re both disgusted by the idea of it
🐺: thank god
🐶: you actually thought they were gonna make out or something just from the word ‘kiss’??
🐺: hey you can never be too careful
🐿️: i understood half of what they were saying until they switched back to japanese ugh i could hear them through the wall
🐯: are the walls actually that thin
🐿️: i hear you scream at your phone every time u watch something scary
🐯: okay anyways they were probably flirting with each other
🐯: i was literally there the whole time
🍟: (*^◯^*)
🐶: oh shit
🐺: morning soul!!
🐿️: why aren’t you just talking to each other instead of texting in the group chat you literally share a room
🍟: y/n is sleeping (( _ _ ))..zzzZZ
☀️: she actually is do u guys want proof
🐺: stop taking pictures of people in their sleep theo ur weird for that
🍟: [One image attached]
☀️: and when soul does it ur not gonna say anything
🐺: soul dont do that but yall r cute okay
☀️: this is so unfair
🐯: i have a picture of him taking that picture
🐺: what
🐶: this is so confusing
🐯: [One image attached]
🐿️: trippy @—@
🐺: soul how is she not waking up while you’re texting us
🍟: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🍟: she is so pretty (//∇//)
🐿️: UGH EILFIWRNOAN
🐶: you are so down bad its crazy
🐺: jiung is literally squealing into his pillow rn
🐯: yeah we can hear
☀️: fr tho u guys r cute
🐶: soul pulls
🍟: (・・?)
🐺: it’s okay soul you’ll figure out what that means eventually
☀️: just tell him what’s stopping you
🐺: he spends a lot of time on the internet he’ll see it one way or another
🍟: jongseob i never gave her the earplugs u can have them back
🐶: is it cuz theo snores cuz honestly thats understandable
☀️: i do not snore that loud okay
🐯: my bed is right next to yours so that makes it 10 times louder
🐯: also just leave them on the nightstand soul ill take them back thanks
🐺: is someone gonna get up or are we just gonna keep texting here
☀️: soul would but he’s too busy holding his gf rn
🐯: do u guys want more photos
🐿️: yes
🐺: jongseob and theo you two need to stop taking pictures of y/n while she’s sleeping she’s gonna think you guys are creepy
☀️: you never said no
🐺: and i never said yes
🐯: soul is shielding her face in some of them tho at least its covered
🐿️: just send them
🍟: you can send them jongseob (^^)
🐯: see even soul says we can
🍟: wanna show how pretty y/n is
🐿️: oh my god you guys are so dsibwsidhsi
🐺: jiung is freaking out
🐶: soul i think u killed him
☀️: breaking up at this point would just end the world
☀️: treat her well soul
🐶: yeah you’ve got a good one
🍟: im too in love to let go (*´∀`*)
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
and i am but a man, orbiting ‘round your sun. and it’s you that makes my day, after day. 🎧
612 notes · View notes
spence-whore · 4 months
Note
HIHI!! can I request spencer celebrating reader for finishing all their exams?? you write him SO SO well and I know it'll become an instant fav 🤭 <333 (if you do want to write it!)
Final Exams
Spencer Agnew x Reader
A/N I’m obsessed with this because I just finished finals last week and I’m pretty sure I failed every single one of them woooo i have no clue if there’s any university’s close to the area that the cast lives in but for this, let’s just act like there is:) one last thing, I thought of going the route where he throws a big party but i felt like the more laid back comfortable type of celebration would be more him whenever it comes to something like this. please overlook the typos and incorrect grammar, im v sick.
one last thing, im trying something new with these. im trying it out in third person instead of using ‘you’ whenever talking about the reader. im also using they/them pronouns to be gender inclusive:) let me know if you like this better or if you liked how i wrote it before with using “you”.
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Everyone knew how stressed out Y/N had been for the last month due to their finals. They become so obsessed on the idea of making the best grades that they can or they feel like they simply have not done good enough. This leads to their mental health declining rapidly and them being in a very low spot for a while. Spencer knew this and thought of something he could possibly do after their last final. That last final happened to be today. Y/N had spent the entire night studying, only got two hours of sleep, then got up a few hours early to study before heading to their university.
A few hours had passed and Y/N was finally back in their car, heading back home.
They had dialed Spencer’s number before heading home Y/N sat in silence for a minute before Spencer answered, “Hey Y/N! How did the exam go?”
“Honestly? I feel like I completely flunked it. I’m just so glad it’s all over till the fall.” Y/N said sighing while taking a turn.
“I’d say so, bub. You need a break.” Spencer responded with a soft tone.
“I’m gonna head back to my apartment for the rest of the day. If you maybe wanna come over after work, you’re more than welcome to. I might order out food then watch a movie or something.” Y/N said, trying to think of some way to destress for the rest of the day.
“Of course. I’ll shoot you a text to let you know whenever I’m heading your way.” Spencer said, they could hear the smile on his face.
Little did Y/N know, Spencer was already at their apartment. Y/N had given him a key whenever they moved to LA and became best friends. He practically lived there whenever the two of them were best friends. That was around four years ago. Now, Y/N and Spencer have been dating for two years. He still practically lives there whenever he isn’t busy with work. He thought of setting up a little self care day for them. He was going to draw a warm bath whenever they got closer to the apartment. The bathroom had candles everywhere’s, alongside snacks, and two wine glasses. The bath was big enough to fit three people, so Spencer thought he could either join Y/N or he could leave them to take the bath while he hung out in the living room. The kitchen was set up because during this time, he was going to order their favorite ramen from this restaurant near their apartment. He had also decked out the living room, so it was a huge comfy dream. The couch was covered in soft, fluffy blankets and pillows. There were fairy lights hung above the couch and a gift Spencer had fixed together for them on the table.
Spencer practically was burning a hole into his phone. Whenever he seen Y/N’s location was finally close to the apartment, he jumped up from the couch and booked it to the bathroom to start the bath. He let the water run until it was scalding hot and then plugged the drain. The water ran around three minutes then he turned it off. Y/N’s location had finally arrived to the apartment and he could tell they were making their way up to steps.
He felt like a little kid waiting for their christmas presents. He was about to explode, just sitting there waiting for them on the couch. A few minutes passed and the noise of keys come from the front door, placing into the lock. He jumped up and stared at the door, waiting to see his partner come walking through the door.
“Spencer?” Y/N’s voice came from the front door, obviously confused.
Spencer jumped up and ran to the front door. “Hi! Okay, so stay there for one second. I just want to explain this before I blindfold you.” He stopped talking for a second to giggle. “That sounds kinky but I got today off from work. I told Ian about how today was your last final. They all decided I could take today off to celebrate with you. At first, I thought about throwing a little get together with some friends. I sat and thought about it for a while though and thought, they could really just use a day of self care. That leads us to now.” He explained with a smile on his face. “Are you in the mood for a bath?” He asked, with hope in his voice and a slight smile on his face.
Y/N was just frozen at the front door and was wanting to burst into tears. This is the sweetest thing someone has ever done for them. “That sounds nice.” Was the only thing they could muster out while staring at him and tears welling in their eyes.
“Oh, don’t cry.” Spencer said quickly while rushing to them and wrapping his arms around them.
“Sorry, I’ve just not really been okay here lately. I can’t thank you enough for being you, Spencer.” Y/N explained wiping at their face while their arms were still wrapped around Spencer neck.
“Well, let’s get you into the bath.” Spencer said before placing his hand in front of their eyes and lead them to the bathroom. He pushed them into the bathroom, “Keep your eyes closed till I tell you to open them.” He explained while stepping in behind them and shutting the door. He very quickly lit the candles around the bathroom and placed the lighter back under the sink. “Okay, open them up.”
Y/N opened their eyes and looked around the bathroom to take the scene in. It looked like something straight out of a cliche romance movie. The bathtub was filled with water and bubbles. There was a tray sitting across the tub with two wine glasses and different candies. They immediately started to tear up and turned around to pull Spencer into a hug. “I cannot thank you enough for this.” They whispered into his shirt.
“Oh, this isn’t the end of it. I have a few options for you. So, would you like this bath alone? Would you like for me to join you or do you want me to sit in here with you and you can tell me about your day?” Spencer said while leaning against the sink.
Y/N stared at the man in front of them before grabbing his face and kissing him very quickly, three different times. “Wait, if I say I want you to get in with me, would you give me a massage? My legs and back are killing me.” Y/N explained, hoping that he would give in.
Spencer didn’t even answer them. He just started stripping from his clothes and Y/N could’ve started crying on the spot. The two took their clothes off and climbed into the tub. At this point, the water was now the perfect warmth. It wasn’t too hot and it wasn’t too cold. Y/N sat on one end while Spencer sat on the other. He pulled his hands under the water and pulled their legs over onto his. “I was told someone needed a massage.” He commented while rubbing his thumbs into their calve.
“I literally don’t know what I do to deserve you.” Y/N said while moaning and placing their head back onto the side of the tub.
Spencer just laughed and shook his head. “You’re a dork. I love you though. Can you grab that wine from the side of the tub and possibly pour us some?”
The two sat in the tub close to ten minutes, drinking their wine and eating candy while talking about their day. Spencer eventually moved the tray and Y/N moved over to his side, with their back facing him. He sat, rubbing their shoulders for a while and they just sat in silence, taking the moment in.
“I can’t thank you enough for everything you do.” Y/N whispered looking over their shoulder at Spencer.
Spencer smiled at Y/N and placed a soft kiss on their shoulder. “Of course. You deserve this after how rough this semester has been on you.” Spencer explained. A few minutes before this, Spencer had placed a door dash order for the food without telling Y/N. It was close to time for them to get out.
“You’re so beautiful.” Spencer randomly blurted while rubbing his hand up and down their arm. Y/N could feel their face getting warm and they just shook their head. They turned around and placed their knees on both sides of Spencer thighs, so they were facing each other. Spencer placed his hands on their waist and just stared at them for a minute. “You literally make me speechless. Like, I can’t put it into words. I know I’m usually the worst with verbalizing how I feel and what I’m thinking but god, I just have to tell you that. You are beautiful.”
All Y/N could do was laugh and shake their head. “I look awful today but thank you love.” They whispered and tried hiding their face reddening.
“Look at you.” Spencer said while placing both of his hands on their face and pulled it close to his. “You do not look awful. You look so beautiful.” He placed a soft kiss on their lips and pulled them into a hug. Y/N leaned back and took this as a moment to kiss Spencer. The two got lost in a kiss for a minute before Spencer pulled back really quickly.
“I don’t mean to cut this off. Trust me, I really don’t want to. I just remembered though, I might have ordered us food and I think it should be arriving any minute.” Spencer explained very quickly, giving Y/N an awkward smile.
Y/N just laughed and climbed off of Spencer, giving him room to climb out of the tub. He handed them a towel and a change of clothes. “I’m gonna dry off and run to the door really quickly. Whenever you get done, just head to the kitchen.” He dried off while explaining this and threw on some clothes.
Y/N took a minute to dry off and pull their hair back while listening to Spencer talk to the door dasher. “Foods here!” His voice boomed throughout the apartment. “My spidey senses were tingling or something. The second I got the door, they were about to knock.” He said throwing the bathroom door open.
It was like time froze for him. He never knew he could love someone like how he loved Y/N but god. He falls harder and harder for them every second. “Wow.” He whispered, just staring at the person in front of him.
Y/N laughed and shoved his shoulder. “Stooooop. You’re gonna inflate my ego, if you’re not careful.” They said while pulling their sweatpants on, which were a pair of old sweats Spencer had and gave to Y/N cause they always stole them whenever they were at his house.
“Maybe, that’s my intentions.” He said with a big grin on his face. “Let’s head to the kitchen, now. Close your eyes though, you’re not allowed to see anything else yet.”
Y/N closed their eyes and placed their hand in Spencer’s, so he could lead them into the kitchen. He stopped and pulled out the chair that faced away from the living room. “Whenever you sit down, you’re not allowed to look into the living room. Whenever we get done eating, we’re going to go in there. Just please, promise me, you won’t look in there till them.” He practically begged them.
Y/N could feel themselves starting to get emotional again because all of this, is just so much. They couldn’t wrap their head around, why someone would want to do something so sweet for them. “You can open your eyes now.” They heard Spencer say from across the room. They opened their eyes and looked around in the kitchen, without turning around and looking towards the living room. Spencer had set up the table with fancy ramen bowls he had found online. They had designs on them with little Totoro’s and soot sprites around the bowl.
“Oh my god, are these Totoro bowls?” Y/N exclaimed, leaning down to look at the bowl in front of them.
Spencer sat in front of them with a big grin on his face. “Yep, I found them while online one day. I got them for us to put our ramen in. They were washed before you got here. So, you can just pour your ramen into the bowl.”
The two sat, talking and eating for around twenty minutes. They just really took their time to take in each other’s company and mainly because Y/N couldn’t stop ranting about one of their professors that really got under their skin.
“Are you ready to head to the living room now?” Spencer asked, pushing himself back in his chair, ready to stand up.
Y/N just nodded their head and stared at Spencer standing in front of them.
“I’ll wash the bowls here in a little bit.” He said while grabbing the one in front of them and placed it in the sink.
Spencer rounded the table and stood beside Y/N. “You can turn around now.” He said while fiddling with his fingers resting at his waist.
Y/N turned around and finally broke into tears. It wasn’t sad tears, they were just so overwhelmed with the amount of love Spencer has for them.
“Hey, hey. What’s wrong?” Spencer said in a hushed tone while pulling Y/N into a big hug.
“I told you about how everything has just been really rough for me here lately. I just got into a really bad spot and everything felt useless there for a while. You always are the sunshine in my day. You always remind me how loved and wanted I am, here.” Y/N explained while trying to not get choked up.
Spencer started to tear up over hearing his partner say this. He looked at them and wanted to break just from looking at them crying. “I am beyond proud of you and I need to tell you that more often. You have worked your ass off for this degree, especially with how tough the things are that you have been learning about. These finals always drain everything out of you and I should just be there for you way more often.” He said while wiping the tears off of Y/N’s face. “Let’s head int the living room.”
The two walked into the living room and Y/N leaped onto the couch. “Oh my GOD.” They practically shouted. “This is like one huge pillow. I literally could just pass out, right here.” Spencer laughed and yanked them up into a sitting position. He nodded towards the table in front of them and that’s when Y/N noticed there was a huge basket sitting there.
“Oh, well, what is this?” Y/N said acting like they were confused and trying to hide a smile on their face. They picked it up and pulled it over onto the couch.
“At first, I thought about just bringing you this whenever I got off work. That was before I got the idea to do all of this.” Spencer explained, giving Y/N a little smile and sat back onto the couch.
Y/N looked throughout the basket and there was many things in it. There were new pjs, one of his sweatshirts, their favorite candy, their favorite coffee, with three gift cards to books a million, target, and dunkin. There was also a huge fluffy blanket, a ghostface plush, and three new records.
Y/N just sat there staring at all of the stuff for a minute before placing the stuff on the table and tackling Spencer into a huge hug. He didn’t move, he just laid there in the spot, holding them. “I did plan on us watching a movie but honestly, do you just want to take a nap?” He whispered.
Y/N very quickly nodded. “A nap sounds real nice. Plus, you’re hilarious if you think I’m going to move right now for you to turn on a movie.” They got quiet for a minute before squeezing Spencer in a tight hug. “Thank you for all of this.”
Spencer didn’t say anything. He just pulled Y/N tighter into him, with his arms wrapped around them resting on their face and one of the back of their head. “Go to sleep, you loser.”
77 notes · View notes
dokyccis · 1 year
Text
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“damn it!” you exclaim.
02:51 shines in your little clock supported by your white desk. you’re studying for a very important test you have in your school, but your dear guitarist neighbor won’t let your mind focus in your studies.
you slide a black hoodie through your body, helping you with the cold atmosphere flying in your room and hiding the tank top you’re using.
you take your apartment’s key in your hands, walking furiously to your door, able to kill whoever get in your way in this moment.
“come on, park wonbin!” you say while approaching the wood-made door of wonbin’s apartment. you knock on it many times, the strident sound of the guitar annoying your ears.
wonbin opens his door after hearing a bunch of angry knocks on it, wondering who would bother him at almost 3 in the morning.
“oh, y/n?” wonbin seems to be surprised. “what are you doing he-”
“you dumbass! it’s almost three in the morning, can’t you shut this guitar up?!” you yell, and wonbin wides his eyes.
“girl, shush!” he sighs. “you’re gonna wake our neighbors up”
“oh, you already did this, mr. park!” you stump your feet in his carpet. “please, i’m trying to study for a very important test i have tomorrow. your guitar isn’t helping me.” you calmed down, lowering the volume of your voice.
wonbin seemed to be a little embarrassed because of the situation. he scratched his nape, looking for answers in his head. “sorry.” was the only thing he could say.
“you better be.” you checked him from head to toe before turning around and heading to your apartment’s door again.
wonbin saw you walk through the long corridor, wanting to swallow the words he prepared for a long time for when he meet you again.
“y/n!” his voice made you stop and turn around. “um…” he started. “do… do you wanna hangout after your test?” he finally let the words swim out of his mouth.
you, in the other hand, are confused by his sudden invitation. your heart says you should accept, but your mind says you should decline. luckly, you always follow what your mind says.
“sure.” you say, not realizing you just accepted his hangout invitation. you wide your eyes when you finally realize it, but you don’t correct your say.
“sure.” he reassures, a smiling growing in his face. “so… see you tomorrow?” he asks. you nod and hum in response.
“sorry again for the guitar. i’ll stop it.” he apologizes for the second time that night. you give him a polite smile and head to your apartment again, hearing his door being shut from behind your back.
wonbin can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but you can’t deny the fact that maybe you have a little interest in him. when you close your door, you sigh and feel a smile growing in your face, slapping your it when you notice.
“what is wrong with me?! ugh!” you squeeze your eyes shut, going crazy over your behavior.
maybe your annoying guitarist neighbor deserves a chance.
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༉‧₊ a/n: dont look at me im deeply crazy over this man bro..
165 notes · View notes
certifiedstarrr · 6 months
Text
Open Arms - Matt Sturniolo
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warnings: panic attack, kissing, use of y/n, degradation thoughts, use of pet names, & fluffy fluff
POC FRIENDLYYY !!
summary: y/n has a panic attack because she was petrified of falling behind and disappointing people around her. Not wanting to be to annoying or clingy to Matt, and trying not let people down. Matt assists and reassures that she’s not letting people down and she’s doing great.
a/n: sorry if this is bad, but leave reqs in my inbox anytime, ily💕 also i know after party pt.4 has been put off awhile but i’m making time to fix it😭🤞
wc: 1k
not proofread (a bitch dont got no time for that shit)
based off of this song ↓
“when no one’s around me, you lost and found me, i was surrounded, with open, open, open, Open Arms”
y/n’s pov
fucking stupid idiot. you should have done it but look where you are now. from before i had 2 things on my to-do list
・Flashback・
“well, i’ll do it later.”
i wrote it down on my to-do list. i pet my dogーkelani and hug her,
“it’s okay i will get to it.”
i wrote down “get this week’s groceries and kelani’s dog food”
just make sure to get to it y/n.
・Now・
i had well over 7 things on my to-do list. i should’ve just done it while I could. so fucking dumb y/n. why do you let this happen? first it was my college classes, food for my dorm, the triplet’s birthday, my car repairs, my sister’s wedding back in london , my mom wants me to visit her in new york, and I have to study for my literature exam. if I don’t get anything for the triplet’s birthday they’ll definitely be disappointed, if i don’t visit my momーshe’ll definitely be upset; and if I don’t go to my sister’s wedding in london, i’m going to be seen as disrespectful to my elders.
i felt something bad was gonna happen but i wasn’t sure.
I was leaning on my bed, going through the list over and overーscolding myself each time. a sharp pain drilled through my chestーa new type of painーsomething i’d never felt before. but this? this hurt like hell. and all at the same time my vision got blurred and breathing became impossible. i’d decided that i had to call matt. he’d surely know how to deal with this, right? as i continued sobbing repeatedly, with breathing impeccably difficult, and my vision completely shattered. my phone rung a couple times, then,
finally he answered.
“hey baby what’s up?”
“matt i- n-need help”
my voice was in a mid-whisper but he still heard it.
“please help m-“
my voice was cut by me dropping my phone.
all of a sudden, my palms sweat and feel prickly and my clothes are overly tight. i hug myself and get into a fetal position, feeling like everything is wrong and i’m going to let everyone down and be one big disappointment.
matt’s pov
we were filming friday’s car video when i got that call from y/n. her voice sounded like she was crying, but she said help me. what the fuck happened?
“hey guys something is wrong with y/n”
“what happened?” chris questioned.
“her voice was all shaky and it sounded like she was crying or shit”
no questions were asked. nick didn’t yell or go on a rant about leaving. just driving.
ೃ༄
 
when i got to her room she was laying on the floor in fetal position, weeping, sobbing. god i hate to see her like this. curls laid out around her shoulder and her beautiful face covered in tears.
"matty?"
"yes baby its me"
"i don't know what to do matt," y/n said in between sobs whilst grabbing her chest trying to breathe.
i held y/n against me and tell me what's wrong.
"what's wrong y/n?"
"m-my vision went blurry and breathing became impossible and my palms felt like they were being poked by a million needles, my clothes got too tight and and-"
"you're having a panic attack y/n"
she didn't hear me so she went on about what happened.
"im going to let everyone down mattーthey're never gonna forgive me,"
"i have too much on my to-do list and if i dont do it i'm letting everyone down"
"look baby we're gonna take it one step at a time, one thing at a time."
"o-okay"
"let's breathe in on 3, okay?"
"okay"
y/n’s pov
i took a nice breath in then repeated the same motion, breathing out. my vision got better, my clothes stopped feeling too tight, palms stopped being pricked.
"thank you matt"
"of course y/n"
ೃ༄
we crossed off things of my to-do list, one by one, and before i realized i only had 2 things left on to-do list; like before.
i've never had a panic attack before and that attack could have been worse. but before i could spiral and get lost inside the darkness, i found my light.
matt was my light.
he was there for me, and always there with Open Arms
ೃ༄
extra: first of all, im so so so so so sorry for starving you all to fucking death; this fic took me forever😭😭
but tysm for reading !!
xoxo, riri <3
taglist: 🏷 @lovingmattysposts @elliesturniolo1 @elliewrites1 @sturnsbitch @lovingmattysposts @luvmxtt @novasturniolo03 @tyjna6 @sturnlova @sturniolo-lover1317 @patscorner
(comment here be on the taglist !!)
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cyzi4 · 21 days
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𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐘𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ~ 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤
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A/n: this is me coming back from the dead. I fr couldn’t come up with any ideas but im back and im gonna try my best to be consistent 🤗
You and Light had met in high school. You were new and the teacher asked Light to show you around and get you acclimated to the new school.
At first, Light didn’t want to have someone following him around like a lost puppy, but when you sat next to him and started up a conversation with him, you piqued his interest.
Light fell for you almost immediately (though you’d never know that due to his innate ability to hide his true intentions and feelings.) You were intelligent and so kind to everyone around you. He saw you as the perfect girl. His perfect girl. It became his ultimate goal to make you fall for him.
He would do some simple acts of service, walking you to all your classes under the guise of “I wouldn’t want you to get lost, you’re still new after all.” No matter how many times you insist you know where you’re going, he’d still walk with you like the obsessive man gentleman he is.
Then, Light would buy you a few gifts. He would buy you little snacks, (all of your favorites he found on your socials which he would stalk check from time to time.), stuffed animals, and really anything he thought would make you smile.
Now, at this point, Light had started to notice your kindness wasn’t just saved for him. You were just oh so kind to this one boy in your shared class with Light. The boy was an idiot, plan and simple. He was always asking for your help and your answers, which you eagerly gave him. It made Light almost lose his composure. Surely you realized that loser was just using you? No. You were too kind and naive to realize.
Light nearly lost it when he asked you to come over for one of your study sessions (which mostly consisted of watching movies in his room instead of actually studying) and you declined. Stating you had a date.
A.
Date?!
Light, as calmly as he could muster, asked who the lucky guy was, and to his utter distain, it was that blundering idiot who would always beg for your attention and pity. Light forced a smile and wished you good luck on your date, silently scheming on how to put a stop to it.
Now, Light had never imagined using the death note on anyone who wasn’t a criminal. And at first he didn’t think about using it on that loser. He tried to have a calm and polite conversation with him, but instead he overheard a conversation with that guy and his friend. He was calling you easy, and that he was definitely going to get to laid. It made Light sick. Light was going to enjoy snuffing his life out, even if it would be indirect.
After the deed was done, Light didn’t expect to see you at his doorstep, face stained with tears and asking if you could stay with him for a bit. Of course Light let you in, how could he not when you looked so sad? He was going to do his best to make you feel better.
Light let you cry on his shoulder while you spoke about being stood up. He played with your hair and shushed your cries. Deep down he knew he was the cause of your misery, but, he was intent on making your sorrows disappear. He spoke so sickening sweetly into your ear, whispering how he’d never stand up a beautiful girl like you. That made you smile. His plan was going even better than he anticipated.
After that day, you and Light were more attached. You really started to fall for Light. And Light started to notice it too. So he decided to finally just ask you out. “Be mine, please?” He looked at you so lovingly, how could you decline?
When you two started dating, Light started to get possessive. Any guy who even looked your way started to get anonymous threats warning them to stay away. If they still tried to get in your good graces, their picture would be found in an obituary within a week. You noticed how guys started to disappear from around you, but your sweet, caring, loving boyfriend couldn’t be behind it, could he?
Light would even be jealous if you spent too much time (in his eyes) with your friends. “You want to be around them more than me, don’t you?”
You would’ve noticed these red flags plain as day if you were dating anyone other than Light Yagami. He’s just so good at manipulating people. He’ll always make you forget with his gifts and his kind words. He’ll make you think you’re just awful for thinking that your sweet, sweet boyfriend could be anything other than that.
But even in his twisted, obsessive ways, he still loved you to death. You were always his poison. He would never lay a finger upon you or make you do anything you didn’t want to. He loved to be in control but you (even if unknowingly) had all the control over him.
Light would do anything and everything for you. If you wanted everyone in your school to disappear? He’d make it happen. Even though he knows you’d never request something so vile. But anything and everything he had the power to do for you, he’d do it in an instant. Its just the obsessiveness gentlemen in him.
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hjparisian · 1 year
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maroon- harry j potter x reader
loosely based on a lyric from maroon by taylor swift. uses she/her pronouns. reader is not a gryffindor (i know, im sorry fellow gryffindors). bit of a long one whoopsies
"the burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was maroon"
It was common knowledge that every time the Gryffindors win a quidditch game, it is follow by a raging party, courtesy of the Weasley twins. Everyone is allowed to come (aside from the Slytherins, but they still manage to sneak their way in).
Despite being friends (and study buddies) with Hermione, (Y/N) never really experience a full on rager in the Gryffindor common room, instead perusing the library for books to help with some essay in potions, until one day.
"Come on (Y/N), just come, just this once," Hermione said. "I can't always be with Ron and Harry. Plus you've never been, after all this time of being my friend."
"I don't know Hermione, I wanted to study for History of Magic. You know how much I struggle in it"
"I know, but you can do it tomorrow! Please, it would be nice to not constantly listen to Ron and Harry talk about the quidditch game for once and to hang out with you outside of the library," Hermione begged.
(Y/N) remained silent for a second. Thinking. It would be nice to hang loose and let the thought of school leave her mind. And Hermione is right, she can always study tomorrow, especially since she already completed her work.
"Alright Hermione, I'll go," she said at last. Hermione let out a grin. "Oh thank you, thank you!" Hermione said. "I gotta go, but I'll see you there (Y/N)."
Towards the evening, (Y/N) stopped in front of the Gryffindor common room. "Password?" the Fat Lady asked.
"Baubles." The portrait swung open and (Y/N) stepped inside, seeing the shift from the silent corridor to the loud and wild atmosphere of the common room. There was people from all different houses having a good time, from people chilling on the couch with firewhiskey on hand to those dance to the beat of the music and letting loose.
(Y/N) quickly finds Hermione on a couch towards the back of the room. "You made it! Thank goodness I thought you were gonna ditch," said Hermione. "Anything for my favorite Gryffindor."
Ron joins in with three red cups, handing two to Hermione and (Y/N). The two stared at the cups, not knowing what it was. Ron answers them, "It's not poison, it's butterbeer mixed with firewhiskey. Fred made them." "Are you sure we should trust anything made by Fred or George?" (Y/N) jokingly says while taking a sip of the drink. "Maybe you're right, but I'll take my chances tonight," Ron said before downing his cup.
(Y/N) spotted some of her house friends waving her over to come dance. She turns to Hermione, asking if she wanted to come dance with her to which she replied "It's alright, I think I'll just stay here with Ron." (Y/N) nods, not willing to force Hermione to join (also letting her have alone time with Ron), and walks towards the crowd of dancing wizards.
One of (Y/N)'s friends takes her hand and starts dancing with her, the two of them laughing at their awkward attempts of dancing. After a while, (Y/N) decides to get another drink to fill her system. She walks up to where Fred was handling the drinks. "Hey Fred, can you give me something good?" Fred chuckled. "First Gryffindor party I've seen you at and you already want to get wasted. But of course, anything for you." He hands you a cup filled firewhiskey. "Thanks Freddie, you're the best."
As (Y/N) turns around with the drink in her hand, she bumps into someone, spilling both her drink and the person's drink on her. She felt her face heating up and looked up ready to yell at the person until she noticed a certain green eyed boy who appear red in the face from embaressment. Who would've thought she would've bumped into Harry?
"I'm- I'm so sorry (Y/N), I didn't mean to bump into you. I should've been looking, I-" (Y/N) cuts him off. "It's fine Harry, I know you didn't mean to. But now my shirt is wet." She was a little upset at the fact she spilled her drink and was wet but she knew Harry wouldn't do that on purpose.
"I can let you borrow one of my sweaters," Harry said. "It's the least I could do after drenching you in butterbeer." (Y/N) thought about it for a second before agreeing, wanting to get out of her soaked shirt. "Alright, since you owe me. Now lead the way."
As Harry led (Y/N) to his dorm, she couldn't help but stare at him. She'd be lying if she said she didn't think he was attractive, cause he certainly was. She always loved how bright and green his eyes looked. And the way he looked when playing quidditch was a wonderful sight. She had a minor crush on him back in second year but since she never acted on it, the feelings went away, though the butterflies in her stomach right now are saying otherwise. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Yeah, let's say it's the alcohol.
Her thoughts are disrupted when they stopped at a door, a plaque on it saying who occupies it, "Seamus Finnegan, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter, Dean Thomas, Ron Weasley." Harry opens the door and walks inside, holding it open for (Y/N). She takes her time looking at the room, it looked much different compared to her dorm. In that time she took to gawk at the room, Harry managed to pull a sweater from his trunk.
It was one of his quidditch sweaters. "Here, I hope you don't mind red and yellow." (Y/N) takes it and looks at it. "Thank you Harry but, um-" She starts. "Do you mind turning around for a minute? So I can change." She swore she could see Harry's face start flushing as he spoke, "Oh, uh, er yeah." He turns around giving (Y/N) some sort of privacy while she changes.
"You know, I didn't think you'd be at this party," Harry says. "I've been kinda hoping to see you." (Y/N) freezes for a second. Harry's been wanting to see her? It must be her mind playing tricks. She responds, "Hermione sort of made me. I wasn't really planning on it." She hears Harry hums in response. She continues, "I don't really regret it though. It was kind of nice to have some fun. Saw some of my housemates here."
There was a brief silence between the two before Harry spoke again. "I've always wanted to talk to you (Y/N). Hermione talks about you a lot, did you know that?" She did? (Y/N) wondered. "She talks about how wonderful you are and how you get her. She was happy to find someone that actually read Hogwarts: A History." (Y/N) chuckles a bit. Classic Hermione.
(Y/N) fixes Harry's sweater on her body and clears her throat before speaking, "Well, um, you can turn around now." She watches Harry turn around and sees his eye go wide slightly.
"How do I look?" She asks him. "Brilliant," He breathes out. "You always look brilliant." (Y/N) could feel her face heat up at his words. How is it that Harry could make her feel like this with just a few words?
(Y/N) decides to bite the bullet. If there was anytime to take a chance it would be now. "Can I ask you something?" He nods. "Can I kiss you?" She was scared for his answer. If he rejects her, she hopes that the firewhiskey in her system would let her forget about that moment in the morning. Harry finally answers. "Yes."
They both lean forward, letting their lips touch each other. (Y/N) felt Harry gently grab her waist, she lets her hands hold his shoulders. It felt like dream. Now, if you told second year (Y/N) that she would be kissing Harry Potter in the future, she'd laugh in your face saying it would never happen. Well, take that younger (Y/N).
They parted each others lips, needing air. They took the time to admire each other, how wonderful they looked. "You know, I've always thought you were attractive Harry," (Y/N) said. "And I've admired how you'd do anything for your friends. You're an amazing and courageous person. I like that about you. And I like you Harry."
Harry grinned. "I like you too (Y/N). I've always have." He leans forward to give (Y/N) another brief kiss.
"Can we just stay here? I'm too tired to go back to the party." (Y/N) asked. Harry nods, agreeing with her, also wanting to enjoy this time with her. They lay on Harry's bed, Harry holding her close to him. He kisses her forehead before falling asleep with her.
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mima0127 · 3 months
Text
confession I haven't stopped thinking about this for a while
ok so basically there's 2 best friends bullying me 1 boy and 1 girl .
Bully 1*boy Bully 2 girl.
One day I decided to stay in a room that no one uses to study after school and there .
I hear footsteps I decide to hide because it is forbidden to stay on the room after class
I hide in the closet then I see my bullies come into the classroom.
they started to make out after a while he started to finger her Cunt .
little whore that I am I couldn't help but touch myself while looking at them
after a while they stopped because of my wet noise plus I was moaning like a bitch
and there they discover me in the closet
Bully 2
[Well well well what do we have here while smirking]
Me
[shocked and ashamed comes out of the closet and tries to run away]
Bully 1
[makes me trip and fell]
They started laughing at me I started crying
Bully 1
[why are you embarrassed you was literally fingering yourself not even 5 minutes ago ]
Bully 2
[Ya and now you wanna act all shy like a Saint But you're nothing more then a dirty whore uh?]
Bully 1
[When we ask questions we expect an answer ]
Me
[But that's not true]
Bully 2
[Pull me by my hair ]
[So what your actually saying is if we check
your Panties you will not be wet
Bully 1
[Let's check]
Me
[No please I'm begging you dont have to do
this]
Bully 1
[Oh so you're a whore plus a liar]
Bully 2
[Do you know what we do to liars?]
Me
[.]
Bully 2
[pull my hair and slap me hard in the face]
Me
[they get punished]
Bully 1
[Since you like keeping your mouth shut how
about I give your something to keep it shut]
he takes his belt and spanks me
Bully 1
[you have to count to 25 if you miss you start again is that clear
Me
[Yes]
Bully 1
[While touching my cunt you liked getting spanked]
Me
[No]
Bully 1
[Started fingering so hard that I squirted]
Bully 2
[Aww she such a messy whore while lapping at my cunt]
[Do you wanna cum?]
Me
[Yes please]
Bully 1
[ to bad I have other plans for you on your knees now]
[What are you waiting for pull it out, remember no teeth and I like it messy]
Started sucking his dick while Bully 2 was
watching and playing with herself
Bully 1
[ I told you no teeth]
ME
[Sorry I'm trying my best]
Bully 2
[Doesn't look like it]
Make me deep throat him
Tears started running down my face I was
so ashamed but deep down it felt good being
treated like that
Bully 1
[Fuck I'm gonna cum open up
He shoot his load in mouth
Bully 2
[I'm so proud you took like a good slut and kissed me]
Bully 1
[time to get down to business]
I felt him sliding inside me it hurts
A while after he started to go faster it still hurted but it's like I wanted him to make me suffer even more it feel so good feeling him in my belly
Bully 2 started filming me
[It me out slut while pulling on my hair she made me munch on her cunnie]
Bully 1
[How does she taste?]
Me
[mmh she taste so sweet ]
Bully 2
[I didn't tell you to stop did I?]
I kept eating her out while his friend was actually destroying my insides ]
He started filming they both was laughing was like in each other eyes
while there was me getting fucked doggy style and eating her pussy at the same time like a bitch
I felt a finger sliding in my butt then two
Bully 1
[Next your gonna take it in your ass]
[FUCK IM CLOSE]
He came inside her friend pussy and made
me ate it they make sure to took tones
Pictures of me eating her Cunt full of cum
Bully 1
[Next we see you next time we won't be be as kind]
And they left the room
me getting dressed and thinking i never felt something like this but it was one of the best feelings
hope the same thing happens tomorrow i said
to myself coming home from school
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motifenjoyer · 5 months
Text
akane kurashiki is (not) allocishet: an analysis
[pt: akane kurashiki is (not) allocishet: an analysis. end pt].
okay so we’ve been meaning to write this for a while but havent bc we’ve been focusing on other projects. slight disclaimer if u dont agree w this hc thats fine, just dont be a dick just bc it interferes w ur own interpretation . we all have our own ways of reading the text so. Yeah!! lets get started
so i just wanna say akane is a character i resonate with in a lot of ways, and a lot of what im going to say comes from my and others’ experiences. ur identities and experiences r def gonna affect how u view a piece of work right? 
so when i played through the series in 2023, i initially viewed akane as everyone else did: she’s in love with junpei, and even hced her as bi like most of the fandom. but the more i studied the source material, the more i felt thats not rlly the case?? esp after ztd, like im sorry but i cannot buy the idea that both junpei or akane wanna marry each other. junpei is for another day but in terms of akane i wanna talk abt the idea that she may be aromantic. 
immersing myself in the fandom, a lot of ppl’s first impressions of akane’s june persona is that she was initially gonna be this ditzy girl next door who only serves as a love interest for junpei. ofc that ended up not being the case, but i see ppl say that they only rlly cared for akane after finding out she’s zero. which imo is such a missed opportunity for analysis.
as june, akane interacts with the world through tropes. the first thing she does when we’re introduced to her is fall on junpei. and overall is seen as this nervous girl who wouldn’t harm anyone. she flirts w junpei throughout the game, yadda yadda yadda. when it comes to her identity as zero, she desperately wants a perfect ending where she can be with junpei. its guesswork as to which aspects are true of akane, but i personally see these traits as smth she thinks “kanny” would do. 
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[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:
“Junpei: Well, I dunno. Anything. I mean, you're hiding it. How would I know?
June: You mean, like...the number of men I've dated?
Junpei's heart stumbled over itself.
June: Do you want to know?
He had to admit, he was a little curious.
June: Don't worry.
She smiled at him.
June: Only 18...
!?
June: ...Times 0.
June: Yeah... I guess I just haven't met Mr. Right yet…”
“Number of men” is highlighted in green. End id].
of course, bc of her tumultuous childhood and how she didn’t have many friends, she never rlly had experience w dating. but not much suggests she would beyond her own words.
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[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:
“Kanny: You...meant a lot to me...when we were kids...
Kanny: I've liked you...for a long time, Junpei... A really...long...time..”
“Liked” is highlighted in green. End id]. 
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.
[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:
“"Okay..."
My voice shook as I answered.
It was hot in the room. It felt like my heart was on fire.
6 minutes or not, my heart burned with my feelings for him.
…”
“burned” is highlighted in green. End id]. 
but actions speak louder than words, and she doesn’t go far beyond flirting and declarations of love. in ztd, she doesn’t even make these advances even when she’s trying to lighten the mood or make things right with junpei. the only time being when she speaks with carlos in the pantry. 
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[id: a log of dialogue from zero time dilemma which reads: 
akane: if it was because of me somehow… then this time i need to rush to his aid. that’s what i’ve decided anyway.
carlos: you really like junpei, don’t you?
akane: wh-what in the world are you saying, carlos?! 
carlos: i’m out of my depth when it comes to romance.
end id].
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[id: a log of dialogue from zero time dilemma which reads: 
carlos: did you bake heart-shaped cookies full of love for your darling junpei?
akane: oh carlos… would you please stop teasing me… 
june is meant to be seen as the ideal japanese woman, and since performance/identity is a huge part of her character, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that she’s performing heterosexuality/amatonormativity, by extension femininity (but that’s an analysis for another day). 
akane is also slotted into the role of a mother figure for kyle just as sigma with the role of father. i can’t help but think of the scene in little shop of horrors (1986), audrey sings abt a stable and “ideal” middle class life. i remember watching it thinking it was odd, given that im aro and am not interested in settling down or emulating cishet middle class values. but my friend, who is poor just like audrey and akane, told me that it’s a common occurrence for poor ppl to think this way. to want a sense of stability even if it’s stereotypical. i feel like this applies to akane as well. i also hc her with bpd, and instability is a common symptom for us, so it makes sense for her to see junpei as a beacon of such, of normalcy. he’s rlly the only normal part of her childhood. she wants him to fix her lol . 
youtube
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[id: screenshot from virtue’s last reward which reads: 
“i pleaded with her to leave, but she quietly shook her head. there was someone very special to her, she told me. he had saved her life once, and she felt her death would help to repay that favor.” end id].
and while we do see oldkane/vlrkane reminisce abt her life w junpei thru kyle, the passcode being jumpydolls, i feel like thats less abt love and more abt the fact that shes lonely, which a lot of ppl mistake that like. love can fix that.. when it rlly cant. not to mention what i said earlier
akane and junpei rarely make physical contact beyond junpei holding her in his arms and hugging. you can of course be a couple and not be that physically affectionate, but junpei is the only one initiating this. also like?? not even an “i love you” when you haven’t seen each other in nine years???????
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[id: cg from nine hours nine persons nine doors. junpei holds akane’s shoulder with a worried expression. Akane has her eyes closed. End id].
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[id: screenshot of zero time dilemma. junpei hugs akane near the basketball court in the lounge. akane wears a wedding ring on her right hand. end id].
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[id: screenshot from zero time dilemma. junpei holds a ring in his right hand. white text on the bottom reads, “well, remember back in elementary school your dream was to wear a ring?” end id].
this is actually a common experience for aros who dont realize aromanticism is even an option. i remember when i was a kid, i’d have daydreams of getting married and dating ppl but when the opportunity actually came, i was uncomfortable and rejected it. 
i feel like junpei’s proposal and akane’s acceptance were reckless of both of them, and probably not even signs of true feelings. junpei’s arc is abt regaining agency, and akane’s is abt control (hashtag cinematic parallels), so it makes sense this would happen. both wish they could return to their childhoods, hence their emotionally immature attitudes + tendency to reminisce abt the past (junpei is counterphobic to this though and eventually gets over it in vlr’s timeline, though akane continues to act this way going forward). poor decision making is a sign of trauma after all. 
i mentioned how akane (and junpei but again. Another story for another day) subverts gendered expectations w her personality. aro ppl (as well as lesbians if u wanna go for a lesbian akane reading) tend to feel disconnected from their agab bc yk we arent straight and like a cishet woman liking a man is a sign of womanhood according to Society............ so like what if ur a girl who likes girls? or doesnt like anyone??? what does that make u??? (again, this could either be a trans reading or a lesbian reading)
anyway my point is. i think its more interesting to read akane’s interest in junpei as her wanting stability and a normal life, esp given that she is traumatized and was once poor. i feel like fluffy junepei fanworks make their dynamic very one-note and lack what makes their dynamic intriguing. but hey!! thats just my opinion as an aro person and how i prefer to interpret it 
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toniolovesfish · 4 months
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[A small introduction]
“The name is Toni, o is silent. Mh? What am I listening to? Oh it’s this podcast…you probably wouldn’t be interested in it anyway…you are? Oh…well then here we can share my headphones!”
More about me? Sure🪼
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-I’m Toniø, don’t worry about last names, we don’t have to be formal
-I’m 5’9 but I often wear boots with heals hehe, a bit of cheating i guess
-I’m 20 years old, time flies by fast, I could swear Iwas still 19 yesterday (turned 20 yesterday)….I should stop making these jokes every year….
-I’m studying Marine Biology 🧬
-My favorite animals are jellyfish!
-One of my hobbies is photography, I ove seeing the different scenery in nature! I also visit that one aquarium quite often hehe
(tw after cut -healed sh scars)
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(Please excuse that i am not the best at drawing:D)
OOC:
Hello everybody, i'm Toni and this is my OC/Self insert for the Mermaid AU :)
I am gonna do a introduction on the regular AU soon too:3
They dont have a voice claim yet, but i was thinking maybe someone like Sai from naruto, a very calm voice? Sorry if there are any speling or grammar mistakes, english isnt my first language:)
!RULES!
Since i am a minor (even tho my character is not) i would prefer it, if there wouldnt be any nsfw stuff or questions directed at me or my oc:) Otherwise you can ask them about anything and i will answer in character. If i wont answer in character then i will probably say it.
My OC is usually very energetic and exited about most things, especially if its anything about the ocean!
He doesnt really like being touched but after some time he will get comfortable with cudles and hugs:)
Im really nervouse since this is my first time doing something like this but i am really exited to get to know you all and i hope we can have a great time together!
-Toni :3
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moonzshiftz · 1 month
Text
Help me with my AU
okay so i kinda have no idea what to do from here so im gonna post my first draft (mostly written at 3am) and you guys tell me if the plot is good and the plot holes I need to fix and also a name for the AU because i just found out people name their AUs and i can't just call mine "my tangled au" forever yk
please tell me if it's shit i need to know that to make it better (but also keep in mind that it's the first general idea)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
a world where only eugene, rapunzel and her parents know about her powers and everyone else thinks her hair just turned brown as she aged and there was nothing special about her rapidly growing blonde hair as a baby. cassandra never takes her to the rocks and her hair never grows back and she lives her life normally, apart from having to adapt to a new world and dealing with trauma from being in the tower
moon is eugene's lost sister and her mom died birthing her. she absorved all of the moonstone's powers because her mom was around it so much and now the moonstone is almost harmless because moon carries almost all the power, that's why she has the ability to recite the spell
king edmund sent everyone away and stayed in the kingdom taking care of moon after finding out about her powers, scared that she would harm someone, but as she grew up, she questioned why she was stuck in an empty castle with her dad, why she couldn't explore the world, but the king only told her it was too dangerous (the only thing he didnt tell her was that it wasnt the world that was dangerous for her, it was the opposite) so one day when she was 15 she found a scroll in her father's bedroom and she saw that there was a drawing of the moonstone- the same stone that is in the center room of the castle that her father doesn't let her enter- and a lot of symbols that she couldn't decipher so she found a way to run out of the castle at night and find out the truth about that stone and why her father kept her there. after walking for days she finally found a village with people so she went up to the first person she saw for answers, and she showed a nice old woman the scroll and asked if she knew what it meant and she smiled and took her into her home. she figured what it said very quickly and asked moon to read the decay incantation, to which she only smiled as the little girl was possessed by moon magic, unable to stop reciting the spell. "you own the moonstone, don't you?" the old woman asked her, to which she responded explaining where she came from and that the moonstone is locked up, so she took the woman back to the kingdom after she manipulated moon into thinking she needed the moonstone, only to try to steal it at the last second. fortunately, king edmund saw the old woman (an old spirit and follower of zhan tiri) and stopped her forever. he then decided that moon wasn't even safe stuck in the dark kingdom and did a spell to wipe all of her memories and made the crows take her somewhere she could live a new and anonymous life, hopefully being saved by a kind family. the only thing he didn't know was that she sent the girl still with the demanitus scroll in her pocket to varian's house in old corona
varian also has some moonstone power but not enough to kill people like moon, in his maximum capacity he would only be able to put someone in a coma, but that would take a lot of his energy. his mom is a descendent of demanitus and she met quirin through studying the magic of the sundrop and moonstone, and they were around the moonstone a lot, but not as much as the queen, so that's why varian has magic but a lot less than moon
varian never believed that rapunzel was magically brought back with different hair and the person who kidnapped him just died. he knew that woman must've had a reason to kidnap the princess and keep her hidden for 18 years, why doesn't the rest of the kingdom know the reason? the queen drank tea from a magic healing flower that cured her deathly disease and rapunzel was born with long hair the same color as the flower, then she was kidnapped and came back with the opposite- short brown hair- and those facts have nothing to do with each other? so when that mysterious girl showed up at his doorstep with a scroll about that same flower, he knew it was a sign for him to investigate
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swiftfootedachilles · 4 months
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Hi! 47, 48 and 49 for the headcanon tag if you are still writing them please ty ily 🧡🖤
47. AU if they had a more normal childhood- How would they be in high school? (Would Ian be a jock? a cheerleader? would he be popular? Would Mickey enjoy studying? what's his favorite subject?) i don't think there's a universe where ian and mickey have normal childhoods and still come out the other end as ian and mickey. but if they had somewhat-stable childhoods? i think they would still be the goofy army kid and the drug dealer. mickey would barely make it to graduation and he would be a class behind, but he wouldnt drop out without even finishing freshman year like in canon. ian loves rotc but he doesnt have tunnel vision fkr joining the military, because hes not as desperate to get away and start a new life. maybe ian gets his math tutoring from mickey, and mickey studies for english tests with ian. i love aus where they are more than just secret fuckbuddies in high school. i need more of them holed up in ians room at dinnertime, passing cigs and joints, teaching each other about inverse trig functions and symbolism in the great gatsby. yeah a lot of things are still shit and they still make a lot of mistakes. yeah mickeys dad is still a piece of shit and ian barely makes it through senior year from the stress of his diagnosis. but it's better. and they are still ian and mickey. so it's all still worth it in the end
48. After awhile, do you think people got to Ian and Mickey for relationship advice? (Gallaghers / friends / franny ) i definitely think debbie tries to subtly hound mickey for info about sandy. what she's doing, where she's at, who she's hanging out with. at first mickey tells her to ask sandy her fucking self, but he realizes 1. he has to be nicer to the only free welder he knows 2. nothing he does to deflect the questions actually makes debbie leave him alone. so he answers her curtly and holds in his annoyance for debbie's obsession with his cousin. eventually he actually tells her something worth listening to, and debbie takes the hint and tries a new tactic for approaching sandy (debbie hasn't been able to get her out of her head and she needs closure or she's gonna combust)
i think lip and tami also sometimes try to drag gallavich into their fights. "you know what it's like living together in a small space, tell her im right." "you've made your relationship work for a while, why dont you give him some advice on how to do the same thing." ian tries to stay out of it because hes very biased toward lip, but mickey honestly dgaf about lip and tami's relationship so he tells them they're both equally and dumb and annoying and they better find someone else to talk to about all this relationship shit before he rigs their duplex with c-4s
49. Gallaghers post canon: Does Lip go back to school/ gets a profession? Do all of them talk to Fiona? What happened with Debbie and Heidi/ Sandy? Franny? Does Carl open the cop bar/ stays a cop? Does Liam live with Lip and Tami? How does he deal with Franks death? okok i have many thoughts about post-s11. i will be as succinct as possible as to not write a 10 page essay about my fanon theories. if y'all want that you'll have to pay me to go on a podcast or smth.
i don't think lip goes back to school, at least not in the near future. maybe further down the line, but for now he's in the mechanic and refurbishing business. which honestly he can make a hell of a lot of money doing so i see no reason why he would feel the need to go back to school and burn himself out and be in debt all over again.
the siblings keep in contact with fiona. i like to imagine she eventually moves much closer to chicago like fort wayne or springfield. somewhere that makes long weekend visits possible. they definitely facetime and are on good terms. if she moves closer i can see liam possibly moving to live with her? or at least stay with her during summer break
fuck heidi i really dgaf about her. i hope debbie and sandy can at least make up and be cordial with each other. i think they are very off-and-on for a looong time. toxic situationship that neither can seem to get away from. they both got shit they gotta figure out if they ever wanna be girlfriends again. sandy throwing debbies trauma in her face was FUCKT UP. and what the hell was with her secret son?? that plot was weird as hell😭
carl dont need to be a cop so yeah i will make him a bartender instead. fuck the cop bar thing, but they can have, like...a cop night or something. like tuesdays and thursdays during happy hour they get a discount or smth. but i REFUSE to turn it entirely into a cop bar. carl lives in the apartment above it
ummm okay so first and foremost lip is NOT selling that house idc what anyone says I AM NOT LETTING HIM DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD THE HOUSING MARKET GOT IN 2021? FUCK OFF. he and tami are either gonna have to suck it the fuck up and live in the gallagher house (ITS A FREE FUCKING HOUSE!!!!) with liam and probably also debbie and franny at least for a little while longer, or lip has to stop being an idiot and live in one of the MANY FREE HOUSING OPTIONS TAMIS FAMILY GAVE THEM. DONT piss me off phillip. with carl, ian, and mickey out of the house i don't see why they can't live there for at least a couple years. debbie can take her time finding an apartment while still living there, liam can have some semblance of normalcy in his life without having to move schools, the older sibs can get their own room (lip and tami, debbie, liam, franny and fred), if they can't make it work then they can't make ANYTHING work. it's literally half as crowded. and i think liam takes franks passing really hard, but i like to think everyone is much more supportive of him than ian was toward mickey when terry died. liam, carl, and mickey can have a heart-to-heart about their complex relationships with their dads. i dont think fiona comes up for the funeral - she probably goes on a bender in miami lbr. but i imagine liam has a decent enough support system that he won't be traumatized by franks deathl
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oneofboth · 1 month
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Welcome! Welcome to the official "The Benriks AU" page!
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ABOUT AU:
Our AU - is a load of headcanons that adds new characters to original setting and a new background to the existing ones, connecting it all into one story.The story follows a plot parallel to the original with some timeline differences.
The main characters are members of the second science team: a determined girl Nicole - a former employee of Aperture, not yet fully self-aware barista Toby, who is just starting his hard way as an AI, and two sisters: Lee (younger, more active) and Alex (older, more passive), with whom… something is clearly wrong.
Our AU is mostly very similar to the original HLVRAI series in terms of cascade resonance times. We have times before the cascade resonance and after, in the HL2 timeline, which has additional characters. Our original characters are carefully written into the original HLVRAI series, for example, they are used to explain some off-screen and unexplained moments.
RULES, RIGHTS AND TERMS:
Likes: YEAAHH LET'S GO!!!
Reblogs: YES PLEASEEEE
Comments: Yeah, feel free! :)
Ask: Please! We are always here and we are happy to answer!
Using our art: You can use it, just mention us! Please, do not sell or use for commercial purposes. Do not use for AI content :)
Requests: Yeah, feel free to ask something!
Collabs: Maybe, depends on what you gonna offer.
Characters use:
Alex and Lee. Feel free to use 'em as you want. I understand that art can be really different and sometimes unstoppable, It's just useless to try to stop people, haha. I gotta mention that we have our canon ships, but you can headcanon them as you want. And please, remember that they are not humans at all, our rules just not working with them (age, mentality, body, organism in general).
For Nico and Toby:
You can do and draw anything you want with them (if you want ofc-), but within the SFW, please. If you have any questions about characters or themes - pm me freely!!
Memes, eye-straining colors, crossovers and challenges are cool and welcome, as well angst and some blood, too (you know emotional art with idea of moral choice, etc, ii love it).
Just don't turn them into minced meat, please
(You can a little bit, hehe)
PLEASE, NO NEGATIVE, AGGRESSION, BULLYING AND CRITICISM. WE ARE TRYING TO CREATE A COMFORTABLE PLACE FOR EVERYONE HERE!
ABOUT US (AUTHORS):
Heya. I'm Alex, my nickname is Blue Opal. She/Her. I am the original creator and author of this AU. Alex in our AU was named after me. I'm 19 y.o. student in university. My kinnies are Benrey, Tommy, Queen (Deltarune), Pearl (Steven Universe). Mostly Benrey hahah. I'm multifandom person, but now sitting in HLVRAI fandom. I don't have any experience with all that social media popularity, all my previous blogs and groups were just archives to myself. Now I'm working on this project with my friend, I put all my love and soul here. Thank you for all your interest, we appreciate it. :)
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Hello everynyan! Im Pigel0n. Second author. Currently studying at university, i draw a bit, design a bit, but mostly just thinking about art ideas and funny little stories to draw.
Pronouns are she/her if needed, but you can call me Pigel for short.
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