#please correct me if I got the artist's English text name wrong

[dontforgetukraine]

Україна відзначає 33-тю річницю Незалежності! Підтримувати, єднатися, допомагати, перемагати, плекати цінне й памʼятати, що у кожній нашій дії — сила! Суспільне разом із художницею Аліною Гаєвою вітає українців із Днем незалежності. --- Ukraine celebrates the 33rd anniversary of Independence! To support, to unite, to help, to win, to nurture the valuable and to remember that there is strength in our every action! Together with the artist Alina Haieva, Suspilne congratulates Ukrainians on Independence Day.

Sources: Suspilne, Аліною Гаєвою (Alina Haieva)

[jane-fucking-seymour]

And the Nominees Are...

In honor of Lexi McIntosh being the announcer for the Oliviers nomination ceremony!!! Big ups Lexi you were fantastic

Katherine was staring at the front door of the flat, curled up in a ball on the couch, looking very, very concerned. The newest episode of Love Island has been paused for the past five minutes, but the center of Kat’s attention is at the door that Anna walked through to answer a phone call. It’s weird for Anna to not take a call in front of the other queens, and it’s weirder still that she hasn’t returned.

“Anyone have any idea who Anna is talking to?” she asks, never letting her gaze leave the door. “She doesn’t usually just walk away from our telly time, regardless of what the call is, so it has to be important.”

Anne, across from her on another couch, continued to look at her phone. “No idea, but I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“She left really quickly,” Kat immediately remarks. “It’s got to be something.”

“Bessie’s upstairs with the other ladies,” Catherine says, working on some needlework. “So it can’t be her.”

“Maybe it’s a dog at the shelter?” Cathy suggests, tilting her head as she looks between Kat and the door and back at Kat.

Jane, who had been reading next to Anne, just sighs. “We’ll know as soon as she comes back, love, I doubt it’s anything bad-”

She’s interrupted, however, by the door opening.

Kat immediately scrambles forward, opening the door, where Anne is standing. “Are you alright?” Kat asks, clearly concerned.

Anna chuckles and nods, gently pulling the girl close.

“Queens, I’ve got an announcement to make,” Anna says confidently. The Ladies, having heard commotion, are waiting on the stairs for said announcement.

The others watch carefully as Anna suddenly grins:

“I’m going to be announcing the nominations for an awards show!”

At first, there’s silence.

But then, the entire room bursts into excitement.

“Oh really?!?”

“That’s incredible, Anna.”

“Congrats, babes!”

“That’s really cool!”

“Hell yeah!”

The girls talk over each other, excitedly congratulating Anna and giving her hugs and the like. Eventually, when the excitement dies down a little bit, Katherine is the first to speak.

“Is that who you were on the phone with?” Kat asks, tilting her head.

“Yes,” Anna nods. “I’ll know who the nominations are, I’ll need to practice their pronunciation and the like, and it’ll be streamed online.”

“Oh! Do you need to practice in front of a live studio audience?” Catherine asks, smirking as the rest of the women chuckle.

“No, no, I actually can’t really practice here at all,” Anna says. “They made me sign a NDA so I don’t reveal who is nominated.”

“Rude,” Jane says, “but fair. When’s the announcement?”

“In a week,” Anna replies. “I’ll be jumping from shows to the rehearsals to make sure I get this right.”

“Well, we’re all very proud of you, Anna,” Cathy says, “and if there’s anything we can do to help, let us know, yeah?”

Anna nods with a grin. “Thank you. All of you.”

The week is a blur for the rest of the queens, who rarely see Anna. She’s often got a list that she’s pouring over, mouthing words to herself to make sure she understands the pronunciations. The other queens keep to themselves mostly, and before they know it, it’s the day before the event.

Katherine and Cathy wander on into the living room, unexpectedly interrupting a mini rehearsal session that Anna was doing.

When Anna spots them, she instantly scrambles to hide the papers she has, making Cathy chuckle.

“You know you’re going to do fine, right?” Cathy asks.

“More than fine,” Katherine says, “she’ll be brilliant!”

Anna gives a small smile. “I know, I just... I don’t want to get this wrong, you know?” she looks down at the papers; they’ve got the actual spelling, but also a phonetic spelling that Anna’s written in herself. “English isn’t my first language, and I’m always afraid I’ll mispronounce something. I don’t want to be wrong, you know? There will be a lot of people watching - apparently it could be thousands of people.”

Katherine frowns, instantly moving to hug Anna. “I’m sorry we’re not allowed to go with you, otherwise we would absolutely be there to give you support-”

“No, no, I get it, and it’s not your fault they aren’t allowing me a plus one,” Anna says, gently booping Kat’s nose. “Otherwise, I know you’d be there. I guess I’m just a bit nervous because it’s not something I’ve ever really done before...” 

Cathy tilts her head. “But you do it every night, you know? And you sing, too. In heels. This doesn’t require any dancing, right?”

Anna chuckles. “No, but that’d be really funny. Could you imagine, doing Ex-Wives but with nominations?”

Cathy smiles a bit at that. “See? You’ve done more hectic things before, you’ll be alright.”

“And they’re not even requiring you to wear heels, right?” Kat asks, and Anna nods. “It’ll be easy!”

“I guess the lack of audience is nice, too,” Anna says, “but there’s a big camera and lights...” Anna sighs. “Sorry. It’s just... different than usual.”

Katherine hugs Anna tighter. “You’re gonna be alright. I promise you, Anna. You’re the best of us, you’ll ace it for sure.”

Cathy nods. “With how much you’ve been preparing, I’ve no doubt that you’ll be the best announcer there.”

“Well, there’s only two of us-” Anna starts, but Cathy rolls her eyes with a smile.

“You know what I mean, missy.”

Anna nods, a grin growing on her face. “Thank you, loves. I mean it.” She lets Kat hold her for a moment more before she gently pulls away. “Now go on then, I need to practice and you can’t be here.”

Katherine pouts. “Just a little spoiler? Please?”

Anna laughs. “Not a chance, Kit. Go on, go with Cathy upstairs, I’ll see you lot tomorrow. It’s past your bedtime.”

Katherine groans, but she moves with Cathy upstairs. Cathy gives Anna a final nod - which Anna returns - before Cathy retires for the evening, Kat in tow. Anna looks down at the lists, smiles, and goes back to rehearsing.

The next morning, Anna wakes up relatively early. Grabbing her folders and her outfit, she gets changed into something comfortable before heading downstairs.

She smiles when she finds that her breakfast has already been made, a heart-shaped pancake and various fruits.

There’s also a card right next to the breakfast, with everyone’s well wishes. The girls were already off to the morning matinee, but they left Anna a good luck meal to help calm her nerves.

Anna chuckles; what did she do to deserve them?

She gets herself ready, heading out to the limo that the awards show arranged to pick her up, and is whisked away to the studio.

When she gets there, her co-announcer, Henry, smiles brightly at her.

“Good morning!” he says as Anna hugs him hello. “Are you ready?”

“I think so,” Anna says with a nod. “Been practicing the names all week.”

“You’re going to do splendid, Anna,” he says. He’s not from the country either, and they bonded a bit over having to learn English as a second language. “We’ll be the best announcers the show’s ever seen.”

Anna nods, liking the confidence he has, and they move inside. Anna’s dressing room is a door down from his, and it’s bigger than the one for the show. It’s decked out in flowers and goodie bags and other lavish items, and Anna smiles at the small ring of red roses that is clearly from a few fans.

As she gets dressed into her dark red suit, she can’t help but start to feel nervous. She tries to combat the intruding thoughts with logic: if she messes up, she just says it correctly. If she stumbles to the podium, she just recovers. If she says the wrong name, she apologizes and corrects herself. She knows what she has to do and how she can recover if things go wrong, but she can’t help but worry.

She takes a deep breath and moves to the makeup department, which gets her outfit covered before they start with the makeup process. The women working there help calm her down a bit.

“Just a bit worried that I’ll mess things up,” Anna admits softly, eyes closed as eyeshadow is applied.

“I’ve seen your show, you know,” the makeup artist says, “and you’ve killed it each time. You’re going to do just fine, Anna.”

Anna nods, looking down at her notes when she has the chance, a deep breath as she continues to pour over the more intricate names on the cards.

It’s ten minutes to showtime and both she and Henry are waiting for the stream to go live. Just as she’s about to turn off her phone, she gets a barrage of texts from the Queen and Ladies in Waiting group chat: they’re all supportive, they love her, and they cannot wait to see her shine. Her tweeting out the link also brought about many a good wish and excitement. 

People are excited to see her and are excited to watch her do this.

It’s a comforting thought.

“We’re live in two minutes!” says the stage manager, and with a final “love you all and thank you” to the queens and ladies, Anna turns off her phone.

“One minute!”

Anna straightens out her bowtie, taking a deep breath.

“Thirty seconds!”

She and Henry nod at each other, smile, and look forward.

“Ten!”

She straightens up.

“Five!”

She looks straight at the prompter.

“Four, three, two-”

The light above the camera goes red. They’re live.

“Hello, and welcome to the nominations ceremony,” Henry says. “I’m Henry.”

“And I’m Anna,” Anna says confidently.

“And we’re here,” Henry continues. “to announce this year’s nominees.” He looks over at Anna. “You know, Anna, I’m honored to be here with you tonight to show off the best talent of the year.”

“I must say,” Anna replies, smiling back. “that you’re the best Henry I’ve ever had the pleasure of having company with.”

They laugh - it’s still a funny joke, even to them - and Henry and Anna turn back to the camera.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Henry says. “And on that note, let’s get to it then, shall we?”

The announcements go well - they go back and forth with the categories, rattling off the names and their productions, wait a moment, and rinse and repeat. There’s no audience, and the studio itself is actually fairly small, so after a few categories Anna feels like it’s just her, Henry, the stage manager and that’s it. The quiet of the room is a comfort, really, and Anna is thankful for it.

It takes about twenty minutes to rattle off all the categories. Once they’re done, Anna has the privledge of signing off the broadcast.

“That concludes our nominations ceremony,” Anna says with a smile. “I’m Anna,”

“And I’m Henry,” Henry says.

“And we thank you for watching. Have a good night and once again, congratulations to all nominees.”

The red light slowly fades out, and Anna and Henry are left standing there smiling at the camera.

“And... we’re out!” the stage manager says. “Nice job, you two, that went really well.”

Anna let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and instantly laughs, hugging Henry when he offers. 

“Brilliant job, Anna!” Henry says.

“You as well,” Anna replies with a grin. “That was a lot of fun, actually. I’m glad it went well.”

They chat for a bit more, taking a selfie or two together to post on social media, before Anna is brought back to her dressing room. She takes off as much makeup as she can, goes back into her more comfortable clothes, then gets into the limo waiting to take her back home.

It’s then that she turns on her phone... and is delighted to see that people both loved the ceremony but also her outfit. A lot of “#goals” are on tweets and insta posts, and she has to laugh at the very positive reactions. Most of all, however, people loved her and Henry together (something she never thought she’d hear again, to be honest) and everyone seemed to be really impressed with her.

As soon as she gets out of the limo and opens the door to the flat, she puts her things down fast and braces herself. Her instincts are well founded: she’s instantly tackled by a blur of pink-tipped hair, who hugs her as tightly as possible.

“That was brilliant, Anna!” Kat says, followed shortly by Bessie, who hugs her queen tightly. The rest of the group is just behind, excitedly congratulating Anna on a job well done. There’s even a cake to commemorate the event.

When everyone’s calmed down a few hours later, Katherine is asleep in Anna’s lap as Catherine and Anna watch television.

“You really did well today, Anna,” Catherine says with a grin. 

“I really liked doing it, to be honest,” Anna said. “I wasn’t sure how people were going to react to it just being me, but... I really liked it.”

“Of course they loved you, you’re incredible,” Catherine assures.

“I know that,” Anna quips, “but I was afraid...” she frowns, looking down at Katherine, who is fast asleep. “Well, honestly, I was afraid that people wouldn’t want to tune in because it was just me.”

Catherine frowns at that. “Anna-”

“I know what you’re going to say, Catherine, but the truth is... I’m not the most popular out there. I know that.” Anna sighs. “I’ve seen the bad messages, the people being rude, the trolls, I just... was afraid that they were going to overwhelm this.”

“There’s no way-” Catherine continues, but Anna cuts her off.

“Logically, I know that,” Anna replies. “But I couldn’t help but worry. And then, if I got something wrong, or if I mispronounced a name, I thought I’d be done for.” Anna shrugs. “That’s why I was practicing so much. I didn’t want to let anyone down, and I didn’t want to give the trolls an opening.”

Catherine moves to Anna then, and Anna puts her head on Catherine’s shoulder. She’s still gently rubbing up and down Kat’s arm soothingly, keeping the girl asleep, as Catherine continues.

“I’m sorry they’re so bad, babes. I wish you would have told us before this,” Catherine says quietly. “But you were brilliant, and everyone loved you. You’re one of the best public speakers I know, honestly, and I think you did better than Henry.”

Anna smiles at that, so Catherine continues.

“You were incredible, babes. Don’t sell yourself short. You really knocked it out of the park.”

Anna sighs, relaxing a bit into Catherine, and keeps her close.

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything, you know,” Catherine quips. “This was all you. You’re the reason you killed it. I’m proud of you.”

Anna wrapped an arm around Catherine’s shoulders, and she gently kissed the girl’s cheek.

“Dunno what I’d do without you lot,” Anna mumbles. “But I’m glad you’re all here.”

Catherine smiles.

“Always.”

[rqs902]

qcyn ep 11 -- can you believe the finale is tomorrow?!?

this whole texting section was so funnyyyy and i will honorably mention yet again that yao chi texting mc jin in english is so sweet

li ronghao torturing xu longhan iS HIALRIOSUS 

 but i also pity the poor child LOOL

wait can we talk about chen tao’s spelling timao LOL

and chen sijian’s face LOLLL

omg yao mingming’s message is so aww... he mentions liking yixing since he debuted in 2012.......

omgggg fjj and wang yi theyre all so cute and screamy and i loveee 

WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIN MO AND WANG YI’S HAPPY DANCE

oh gosh the8 is really showing us how hard seventeen works to get their choreo super in sync wow they really must work so hard.... wow minghao giving up the center position bc he knows how important this is to these kids... he deserves more recognition as a great mentor wow

oh my goodness.......... li zhenning’s voice shaking as he says to shi mingze “if you can get into top 20, then you’ll have hope” is.... the most heartbreaking......... knowing that shi mingze doesnt.......... they literally were smiling as they went off into this corner to talk and are crying by the time they come out..... can you just imagine how much sadness and stress is constantly looming over these kids’ heads and tearing down at their mental health?? its all hidden and suppressed, but with really fragile borders, so as soon as you pick at the walls, their raw emotions come bursting through... 

this just reminds me that even tho shi mingze is their cool, handsome leader, hes still the youngest in bg project............

can we please talk about how considerate of a friend li zhenning is and has been?? 

and this all took place before zhenning ever ranked into top 9.... so to them, this opportunity wouldve been really important for zhenning too, bc maybe he wouldve really needed it to get into top 9. but at least we know now.... he has enough popularity that they made the correct choice and hopefully more people will notice shi mingze as a result

ZHAN YU’S ARMSSSSSSSSS bo yuan’s hair!! i really like it!!!! wen yechen in pink!!!!!! his voice is so addicting i just wanna hear more of it... it dont matter that zhenning isnt center, he still shines :)) wait wu zelin’s voice i really liked it in retreat and we get even more vocal-like wu zelin here! thats a realy nice purple on qunfeng, hes really rocking this look SHI MINGZE I SAW THAT WINK frick minghao’s dancing is just so satisfying to watch wowow

man he looks so good

wow i live for random zhan yu reactions (imma just collect them here LOL)

after journey and mc jin’s friendship is so cute hahahaha

ok i see why elle thinks chen tao is a visual

wang zhe and wu chengze have both really improved in their stage presence throughout the course of this show aw deng chaoyuan looks the happiest we’ve ever seen him on stage haha zhou shiyuan’s voice is really so cool 

i guess we’ll never find out why gu landi is in mc jin’s group..... is it bc yao chi is here? im sorry i love this song and i love a lot of the kids in this group but can you just imagine how much better this stage would’ve been if it were with more kids who had experience rapping....? last year’s “zero” stage just made such a bigger impression on me...... this is actually really such a contrast im---

ALKSJDLAKSJDLK CHEN SIJIAN’S RAPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST DID THATT!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT!??!?!1//!ASDLKJALSKJJ OMGGOHS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! CHEN SIJIAN JUST BLEW EVERYOEN OUT OF THE WATER YOU BEST BET HE DID WOWOW HE JSUT I CANT BELEIEVE HE JSUT INCLUDED AT LEAST 4 NAMES WOW 

IM WEN YECHEN

chen sijian is really the best at writing raps about his bros wow and like also he has the most creative lyrics i really appreciate wow such talent hes amazing!!!

a lost baby..

UNDERAPPRECIATED GU LANDI VISUALS

the face of a legend 

ever since i saw the “time” ballad version, ive had a sneaking suspicion that lin yuzhi is secretly one of the strongest vocalists on this show..... this is the face of talent

idk whose outfit is distracting me more, xu bingchao or xixi’s LOL shao haofan looks so nice here wow and ding feijun is so adorable even tho this is a more mature concept but i still cant see him as anything but a cute child

maybe its the way they cut up the lines but idk this song didnt really show off their vocal abilities that well..... sorry xixi :( i think xixi’s voice deserved better time to shine on this show...... his and feng junjie’s voices are actually both so nice i was so impressed when i saw them singing in the oaca clips

this koala ad makes me very uncomfortable......

wenhan reaches into the box and pulls out..... costco brand blueberries??!?!?/1 hHhahahhahHAHAHHA 

lol yao chi being so sentimental... oh look at this photo of me with bubbles on my face (me: oh no here it come--) OH YEA ALSO CHECK OUT THIS FACE WASH!

wow kou cong!! a face i havent seen in a while aw! i cant believe they filmed all the yaa eps while they all still had colorful hair lol i guess ill never get to see lin mo on yaa /sigh/ or actually any of the tyger members cept jia yi.........

HAHAHAHAHHA YESSSSSSSSS THEY INCLUDED A CLIP OF CHEN SIJIAN’S PHONE CALL !!!! HIS WAS HILARIOUSS!!!! HAHAHAHA I LOVED HOW SIMILAR HIS FAN SEEMED TO BE TO HIM HAHAH 

AAHH AS SOON AS IT GETS TO LIN MO’S ITS THE SAD MUSIC TIME

his was the most heartwarming call.... no bias LOL

feng junjie singing “the great artist” just---

this boy will never stop with the meme faces hHAHAHA

im surprised this section was so short lol i was expecting them to spend more time on this group...

SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN YEA

jolin’s eyes are so wow 

feng junjie with the voice!!!!!!1 

JOLIN THE QUEEN

still kinda wish jia yi had more opportunity to sing on this show......... hes like second main vocalist to zhan yu in tyger but i feel like he hasnt gotten to show his voice much :( he did really well tho!!! he really has impressive stage presence

omg lin mo’s super shy “1 day” ahhhhh 

omg wang jiayi looks like hes about to cry... the poor child....

yixing reaching out to apologize to them.... hes really so caring towards them...... wang jiayi just needs more confidence!! i believe in him too

where did lin mo get this white cap from? lol he chose the pink one..... on a related note, im so happy lin mo got to be in yixing’s group, bc from the beginning with namanana hes really really tried so hard to earn yixing’s recognition, im sure it means a lot to him to be able to learn from him like this and share a stage with him 

yao mingming too, i feel like he really values yixing’s recognition as well

i think all the kids in this group had to have known that picking yixing’s group would be the most tiring and require the most effort, but i think choosing this group regardless just really shows they came here to learn 

A HAPPY BABYYY

omg like yixing is really /teaching/ them and i appreciate that

lin mo and xu fangzhou’s voices!!!!!!

OOF IM SO READY FOR THIS OUTFIT 

ASLDKALSDKJLAK HE WINKED!!!!!!!!!!!

what is this awkward closeup

why does fangzhou have wings lol

i feel like theres a lot of random awkward closeups of lin mo.... should i be happy about this??? LOL i dont think theyre all very flattering but at the same time at least hes got closeups....???? ? ??  

OOF HES GETTING MORE LINES THAN I EXPECTED TOO

you know how ive talked about how i love how much detail lin mo puts into his dancing, including even his slight head tilts? LOOK ANOTHER HEAD TILT 

HAHAHAHHAHA GUAN YUE’S EYES GOT SO BIG HAHAHHAHA OMGGG

ooof lin mo getting to sing the chorus with yixing im !!!!!! im sure hes so grateful for this opportunity wow also i think i mentioned this with namanana but i really think lin mo suits yixing’s dance style, like its a style that hes pulls off really well, so i think he got to shine a bit in this performance :’)

ok i havent said this yet but what is with that thick black fade at the top of the screen its so annoying??? like why you gotta cover the top of their heads??? 

wow we’re really getting a lot of random lin mo shots hahahha is this iqiyi repenting their wrongs from ‘spirit of the knight’ i almost am surprised how yao mingming isnt getting the most screentime but then i remember iqiyi has never favored yao mingming........ /sigh

AYYY WENXUAN AND LIN MO THE BUDDIES

just look at how perfectly tilted / well-positioned lin mo’s head is wow and that gaze wow i just love his stage presence

yea im gonna have to rewatch this perf to gif the lin mo moments.... maybe after the finale tomorrow when ill be like oop lin mo didnt make it in oh well let me just wallow in his talent that the audience slept on by drowning myself in lin mo content (its not like i do that every day already)

LOL THAT CAMERA SPIN WAS SUCH A FAIL YOU CANT SEE ANYONE CEPT WENXUAN ADJUSTING HIS MIC HAHAHHAHA ok on a side note tho im glad wenxuan got to be in this group too!! yuehua’s dancer getting to show us his dancing again :’) and we all know he was discouraged being reshuffled into “maze” and i just wanna say wenxuan deserves more credit for being able to really go out of his comfort zone and pull off the cute concept in “maze” well even tho he didnt want to accept it at first! 

HES PERFECT 

hey yall is it just me or did you see lin mo’s eyes in that really fast flashy bit at the end of the preview for the finale? HAHHAHAHA i couldnt even screenshot it bc it was so fast, but i swear i saw his eyes so i think he was in it LOOOL

JSUT KIDDING I WENT BACK AND TRIED AGAIN AND I GOT IT

I KNEW I SAW HIS EYES HAHAHAHHAHA

oo i havent mentioned this before but i really like the sound of chen sijians voice, even when speaking... 

OMG GU LANDI

OMGGGG MY CHILD YE ZIMING IN FREAKING TARZAN NEXT DOOR??!???

THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!!!!! THANKS FOR REMINDING US HOW IQIYI TOTALLY SLIGHTED THIS BOY OUT OF GETTING INTO TOP 35

aw honestly i wonder if lian huaiwei will really not make it tomorrow.....  

omg sun zelin in the ending credits!!!!

OMG ZHAN YU TOOOOOOO

OOF LOOK AT ZHAN YU’S JAWLINE (ooops sorry yechen ahhahhhaa)

they must really like this part of the choreo?? 

BUT I LOVE THIS LOOK ON YECHEN YESSS

lol is this lin mo’s back

tbh im surprised they didnt include lin mo in the ending credits but i think they were trying to make up for the loss of yao mingming time earlier LOOL 

ok well i have about 10 hrs until i gotta wake up to watch the finale so.... now to go watch fjj and hcx’s goodnight dachang HAHAH

[pilferingapples]

Gautier, on Himself 7/?

(a translation by me of a mini-autobio from Theo Gautier in 1867, all from this text.Translation notes (SO MANY notes) and original French under the cut,suggestions and corrections SUPER WELCOME!)

Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 4 * Part 5 * Part 6

Previously: Gautier took up painting, only to find out he was too nearsighted to be an artist. Uh-oh. 

I was living with my parents at Place Royale, No. 8, in the corner of the row of arcades where the town hall was. If I note this detail, it is not to indicate in the future one of my homes. I am not one of those whose posterity will mark homes with a bust or a marble plaque.(1) But this circumstance greatly influenced the direction of my life. 

Victor Hugo, some time after the July Revolution, had come to live at the Place Royale, at No. 6, in the house in return for square. We could talk from one window to another. I had been introduced to Hugo, rue Jean-Goujon, by Gérard and Pétrus Borel, the lycanthrope. (2) God knows with what tremors and anxieties! I stayed more than an hour sitting on the steps of the stairs with my two mahouts,(3) begging them to wait until I was a little recovered. Hugo was then in all his glory and his triumph. Admitted to the romantic Jupiter, I did not even know how to say, like Henri Heine before Goethe: "The plums on the road to Jena in Weimar are good for thirst”. But the gods and kings do not disdain these frights of admiring shyness. They like that we faint before them. Hugo smiled and spoke to me encouragingly. 

 It was at the time of the rehearsals  of Hernani . Gerard and Petrus were turned my guarantors, and I received one of those red tickets marked with a brand of the proud Spanish motto hierro(iron). It was thought that the performance would be tumultuous, and enthusiastic young people were needed to support the play. The hatreds between classics and romantics were as lively as those of the Guelphs and Ghibellines(4), gluckistes and piccinistes (5). The success was as dazzling as a storm, with whistling winds, lightning, rain, and thunder. A whole room raised by the frenzied admiration of some and the obstinate anger of others! It was at this performance that I saw for the first time Madame Emile de Girardin, dressed in blue, her hair rolled in a long spiral of gold, as in the portrait by Hersent (6). She applauded the poet for his genius, and she was applauded for her beauty. From then on, I burned as the newly converted, and I was given the command of a small squad to whom I was distributing red tickets. 

It has been said and printed that at the battle of Hernani  I beat the recalcitrant bourgeois with my huge fists. It was not the desire to do so that I lacked, but the fists. I was scarcely eighteen, I was frail and delicate, and I took gloves in seven-and-a-quarter (7). I have since made all the great romantic campaigns. When we left the theater, we wrote on the walls: "Long live Victor Hugo! “ to spread his glory and irritate the Philistines. 

Never was God worshiped more fervently than Hugo. We were astonished to see him walking with us in the street like a mere mortal, and it seemed to us that he should have gone out through the city only on a triumphal chariot drawn by a quadriga(8) of white horses, with a winged Victory hanging a golden crown above his head. To tell the truth, I have hardly changed my mind, and my mature age approves the admiration of my youth. (9)

Je demeurais alors avec mes parents à la place Royale, no 8, dans l’angle de la rangée d’arcades où se trouvait la mairie. Si je note ce détail, ce n’est pas pour indiquer à l’avenir une de mes demeures. Je ne suis pas de ceux dont la postérité signalera les maisons avec un buste ou une plaque de marbre. Mais cette circonstance influa beaucoup sur la direction de ma vie. 

Victor Hugo quelque temps après la révolution de Juillet, était venu loger à la place Royale, au no 6, dans la maison en retour d’équerre. On pouvait se parler d’une fenêtre à l’autre. J’avais été présenté à Hugo, rue Jean-Goujon, par Gérard et Pétrus Borel, le lycanthrope. Dieu sait avec quels tremblements et quelles angoisses! Je restai plus d’une heure assis sur les marches de l’escalier avec mes deux cornacs, les priant d’attendre que je fusse un peu remis. Hugo était alors dans toute sa gloire et son triomphe. Admis devant le Jupiter romantique, je ne sus pas même dire, comme Henri Heine devant Goethe :  » Que les prunes étaient bonnes pour la soif sur le chemin d’Iéna à Weimar  » Mais les dieux et les rois ne dédaignent pas ces effarements de timidité admirative. Ils aiment assez qu’on s’évanouisse devant eux. Hugo daigna sourire et m’adresser quelques paroles encourageantes. 

C’était à l’époque des répétitions d’Hernani. Gérard et Pétrus se portèrent mes garants, et je reçus un de ces billets rouges marqués avec une griffe de la fière devise espagnole hierro (fer). On pensait que la représentation serait tumultueuse, et il fallait des jeunes gens enthousiastes pour soutenir la pièce. Les haines entre classiques et romantiques étaient aussi vives que celles des guelfes et de gibelins, des gluckistes et des piccinistes. Le succès fut éclatant comme un orage, avec sifflements des vents, éclairs, pluie et foudres. Toute une salle soulevée par l’admiration frénétique des uns et la colère opiniâtre des autres! Ce fut à cette représentation que je vis pour la première fois madame Émile de Girardin, vêtue de bleu, les cheveux roulés en longue spirale d’or comme dans le portrait d’Hersent. Elle applaudissait le poëte pour son génie, on l’applaudit pour sa beauté. À dater de là, je fus considéré comme un chaud néophyte, et j’obtins le commandement d’une petite escouade à qui je distribuais des billets rouges. On a dit et imprimé qu’aux batailles d’Hernani j’assommais les bourgeois récalcitrants avec mes poings énormes. Ce n’était pas l’envie qui me manquait, mais les poings. J’avais dix-huit ans à peine, j’étais frêle et délicat, et je gantais sept un quart. Je fis, depuis, toutes les grandes campagnes romantiques. Au sortir du théâtre, nous écrivions sur les murailles :  » Vive Victor Hugo!  » pour propager sa gloire et ennuyer les philistins. 

Jamais Dieu ne fut adoré avec plus de ferveur qu’Hugo. Nous étions étonnés de le voir marcher avec nous dans la rue comme un simple mortel, et il nous semblait qu’il n’eût dû sortir par la ville que sur un char triomphal traîné par un quadrige de chevaux blancs, avec une Victoire ailée suspendant une couronne d’or au-dessus de sa tête. À vrai dire, je n’ai guère changé d’idée, et mon âge mûr approuve l’admiration de ma jeunesse.

1- It’s kind of amazing how wrong Gautier was about his own cultural importance, even at this point. Not only did he get plaques and memorials, his old home is marked with kitty curtains, which probably would have pleased him more. 

2- Gerard and Petrus (the lycanthrope, because some things are Important XD) ! I’ve mentioned this in earlier segments, but Nerval and Borel were both dead and sliding out of public memory by this time. Borel, in particular, had become an embarrassing reminder to some people of the artistic excess and political ideals of an earlier time, and his name had, as Baudelaire said, become a sort of condemnation against anyone getting too outspoken or experimental in their art.  If Gerard was fading from memory, Petrus was being erased--both of them starting to be aggressively unmentioned or even cut out of accounts of the movement’s history, in favor of focusing on more famous and then-currently appealing figures. Gautier’s insistent remembrance of them both at this point is both accurate and something of a  statement of loyalty in a way I didn’t know when I started doing this kind of research, which is why I’m mentioning it here :P 

3- “mahouts”--an elephant driver. Romantic Orientalism ahoy, and also Gautier’s basically calling them his herders XD

4- Guelphs and Ghibellines- factions in 12th and 13th century Italy supporting the Pope vs The Holy Roman Emperor. 

5- gluckistes and piccinistes--an 18th century aesthetic argument between fans of French opera and fans of Italian opera.  

6-“the portrait by Hersent”-- that’s most likely Louis Hersent, an engraver and portraitist of the time, with a large portfolio of portraits of young wealthy women. There’s like... almost nothing easily findable on him in English, unforch. :/ 

7-”I took gloves in seven and a quarter”=“ et je gantais sept un quart “--  given the comment about lacking huge fists, I’m pretty sure this is Gautier saying he was wearing a very small or unimpressive glove size at the time, but since I have no idea what French glove sizing of the day was like, I don’t know exactly what he means. :[  

8-QUADRIGA, TAKE A SHOT XD

9-  Continuing to cheerlead for Gerard and Petrus was an act of friendly loyalty in a small subculture; continuing to sing the praises of Victor Hugo in a country where Hugo was a political exile who’d had to flee for his life was considerably more. In general, Gautier was fairly politic and got along with Napoleon III’s court-- but on the matter of Hugo he refused to ever perjure himself. Hugo Was The Greatest, and nothing would make him change his mind. It was considered to have cost him some significant career opportunities, at least,but as Maxime du Camp said, “Théophile Gautier was incapable of such a crime (as speaking against Hugo),  everything in him would have revolted against it, his Romanticist faith, his loyalty, his nature, even if the perspective of an official post were to be his.”

[dlkardenal]

Behind the Scalpel #2 - Dar’s journey with cover design

Hey there, traveler!

Today I’d like to share a personal story concerning both the woes of being a writer, my mentality on self-publishing, and our current project. This is the story of how I created the cover for our WIP.

To tackle a few things heads up, I’m not a complete amateur when it comes to graphic design, however, I am only scraping the surface. I’ve never received any education in graphic design but it became a kind of guilty pleasure for me as soon as I found the magic of MS Paint, so I’ve got some years of self-education, reading up on the topic and long hours of just d*cking around with graphic software behind my back.

Given that, I’d only recommend doing the cover yourself if you know what you are doing or you don’t have any other options – me personally falling in the latter category. We are trying to self publish with little to no funds, to begin with, and thus have to make some tough decisions. One of them is the fact that we can’t afford to hire a professional cover designer, so I either do it myself or not at all. Since giving up is not an option, I decided to do it or die trying. Here’s how I did it.

Basically, I created the first version of the cover before we finished the first draft (not the first English draft, the first draft in our native tongue.) All I knew that it’s shaping up to be a desert fantasy, so I need something with that feeling. So as every newbie would, I hit up google, typed „desert fantasy art” and clicked images. I found a nice looking art, added a black border, slapped a title onto it and this is what arose from that witches’ brew of a design:

So, there are a couple of problems with this. First, it is boring. You look at it, admire the art for a splinter of a second, and go on about your business. Second, which keeps coming back, is the genre. This one looks like a Jane Austen romance when it should scream epic adventure and magic and stuff. The third problem was the method I acquired the art because Google Images is rarely a place to browse for royalty-free stuff you’d use on a book cover. But I was content with this for a while, shoved it into a folder on my laptop, and kept writing the book.

Months pass by and we both started to lose enthusiasm and needed something to fire us up once more. I remembered the rush of excitement when I designed the first cover, so I got on my trusted laptop to do it all over again – this time trying to follow the law and use royalty-free images. But learning from the first cover, I wanted to do something exciting, something someone would click on out of curiosity, so I started browsing digital artworks on Pinterest. This is actually good advice for anyone looking for inspiration – but inspiration only. Don’t go wildly right click-saving things from there, or you run into the royalty thing again.

What I found were fractals. If you’re not familiar with the term, fractal arts are procedurally generated, mostly geometrical images which look trippy as fuck and if an artist gives their personal touch, they can look spectacular. To give a great example, I searched for royalty-free (see? I’m smart :3 ) fractal images and found this:

As you can see it is really eye-catching and I haven’t seen this style used as cover before, so I thought I can make something different. I got to work, added shaded borders, and a more fancy title and created cover v2.0.

Way to go! But there were still problems with this. We realized that one of our strong suits as writers is painting a vibrant world that’s easy to imagine yourself into. By using a lot of different senses in the descriptions one could almost feel the heat of the desert, the cooling sea breeze from the port, or the smell of roasting shashlik – but this cover didn’t give off this vibe. It felt cold, brittle (hence the silver) so it still needed a few changes. That was pretty easy to fix, I just tampered with the color temperature and voile! Cover design v2.1 was born:

Now, this was hinting at the right vibe, it looked almost like a quicksand swallowing the title which was all nice and good, but this was about the time we run into a bit of advice we then saw everywhere – research the market. Now, dear readers, what the fuck does that mean? It took me a while to figure out, but what people mean by that is to go on Amazon or Barnes&Noble or wherever you satiate your bibliophile thirst and look at other successful book covers in your genre. So I did, browsed Amazon best-selling fantasy books for hours, and noticed a few trends. First, most fantasy books didn’t use a fancy font, those were mostly for romance novels. The second is, pretty much every fantasy (by that I mean the myriad of Brandon Sanderson, George R.R. Martin and Anthony Ryan books) used some kind of image in the middle instead of just the title. Armed with this knowledge I jumped back on GIMP and got to work once again.

Now it was looking more like the big names, an epic but simplistic font, a thing in the middle (in our case a two-headed viper bracelet, a piece of important jewelry from the book) and even a quote. Now was the time for me to send it to my taste-testers: my younger sisters, both book nerds in their own genre.

And they told me they liked the previous font better. They found the snake and the quote a nice touch, but the font was too bland. Because at this point I had no idea who to trust with advice, I rushed to correct it and come up with a new, better version combining those two elements. So after a bit of designing again, cover v2.3 got birthed into this shining world.

Looking fancy, eh? This was the time I learned how to create a golden text effect without photoshop (yeah, I forgot to mention, photoshop would eat up, chew, and spit out the 4 GB ram in my 6 years old laptop, so I use GIMP instead). This was almost perfection… almost. We were content with this for a few weeks, right before we ran into several niche fantasy covers we quite liked that were more on the simplistic side, with a dark background, a fancy title and a beautiful border frame. We thought if it caught our eyes, it would catch other people’s attention too, so the designing bug bit me again and I opened GIMP for the umpteenth time.

The idea was simple: create a black background with the fractal as a border, an artistic title and maybe some extra touches. This was the point we regressed back into the black and silver style because black and gold was too mainstream. It was more difficult to get right, but eventually I came up with this:

This time I was sure I hit perfection. It reminded me somewhat to Game of Thrones, it had two viper heads and a simplistic style. Around this time we found our first somewhat useful beta-readers, so I was brave enough to show them. The answer was in line with our reoccurring theme of being unable to paint a clear genre image: they thought it looked like a contemporary girl novel with some spooky snakes for a bizarre cavalcade effect. I’m gonna admit it, it felt like shit but being an author is about constant growth and learning from bitching beta-readers, so I decided to do some more research. I found a couple of useful resources, to be precise, a blogpost from Neha Yazmin (link here: https://nehayazmin.blogspot.com/2020/05/Book-cover-design-tips.html ) and a youtube video by Just Angus (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SgJV8wGkcI). They’re both useful and entertaining, so go give them a look. We realized looking beautiful to us means nothing if people pick up the book and think about the wrong genre, thus they will be disappointed by the book by default. We had to make it look like an adventurous fantasy set in a magical desert, so I had to change my entire mindset.

I was browsing Pinterest one evening and found the magical looking Arabic calligraphy, precisely Take the Leap by Everitte Barbee. With a rush of enthusiasm, I grabbed the image and ran away with it, not thinking about some important things, and created this.

Now things were shaping up to be almost pitch-perfect. The font was fancy but fantasy-esque, the style was eye-catching but minimalistic, it screamed middle-eastern and it was unique. But remember the important things I shrugged off? One of them was the royalty-thing again. Turns out this image (or to be precise the ink and paper version of it) was already used in another book cover. Also, Arabic calligraphy uses words from the Quran. Now, I’m not a very religious person and I know next to nothing about Islamic religion. As much as I adore ancient Arabic aesthetics, I think it’s common courtesy to leave things you don’t understand a word of alone and not use them obliviously in commerce. But I believe I hit something on the head with this silhouette filled with fractal art, so I searched for some free stock images until I found what I was looking for. So, at the end of this surprisingly long wall of text about almost a year of redesigns and trial-and-error style approaches, I’ll leave you with our final cover (for now at least). I hope you found it entertaining and somewhat useful, if you have any questions or even critique, please, let me know in any way you prefer. Bah, it was nice to get this off my chest. Stay sharp, travelers!

Dar

 The current version of our cover:

[gideon--prewett-blog1]

OOC Survey!

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt? 

Gideon and Fabian have been my muses for a looong time now. I think I’ve been writing one or the other since I was 16? (I’m 20 now I’m so old where has all the time gone!) And they just never get old, or boring, and they are so problematic and broken but beautiful wonderful people and I love them so much. I haven’t rped for a year ish now, and I came in fully intending to pick someone new, but then Gid’s bio hooked me right back in.

Do you have a favorite holiday? 

Bonfire night! Where we burn an effigy of a man who tried to blow up our parliament yay! But for real, as soon as Autumn hits and you start smelling that smokey smell in the air I get so excited. Not to mention bonfire toffee and fireworks.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both? 

Tea 100%. I have recently gotten into earl grey after one terrible experience with it as a child and spurning it ever since. Now I have seen the error of my ways, it’s amazing.

What is your personality type?

ISFP, last time I did a test, I don’t really know too much what it means.

What is your Hogwarts House?

Ravenpuff. It seems to alternate between the two every time I do a test, and I think I have qualities from both. I think at 11 I would have wanted to go to Ravenclaw and be one of the ‘smart ones’, now I think I’d much prefer to be in Hufflepuff, just working hard and and being kind and loyal.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Virgo, I don’t really know what the significance of it is though I find horoscopes quite amusing.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

I’m gonna do Amazon Prime instead because I use it way more.

So, Halt and Catch Fire, The X Files, and the movie 20th Century Woman, which was brilliant, I highly recommend it!

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

Can my brothers be my ride-or-die friends? We’ve been through a hell of a lot of shit together, and they are pretty much the only people in the world I’ve always been able to rely on, and will probably continue to be for the rest of my life. And I’m so freaking proud of them, they are both younger than me, but they are already better functioning human beings than me. Joe is doing an electrician’s apprenticeship and he’s so good at what he does and he loves it so much and everybody there really respects him and he’s just so darn funny! Then Tom is doing his A-levels and he’s like top in all his classes but he’s so modest about it and he’s either going to be a doctor or a citrus farmer and I think they are both really exciting options and whatever he does he’s going to have such a bright future. Spending time with them is so easy, and we know when we need to talk about serious stuff and when we need to just let the other be and when we need to mess around and have a laugh. When I came out as trans they barely blinked an eye, even though we had a really close brother/sister dynamic going on they immediately accepted me as their brother and the first time Joe introduced me as his brother to his friends I nearly cried. Can you tell I just really love them? I’m so freaking proud of them, I would do anything for them.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

Okay, so I am a huge fan of the movie About Time, because I am a sucker for Richard Curtis films. I could watch it over and over and over again and not get bored, it’s so beautiful. So I think having the power he has in that movie would be great. Time travel had always made me really anxious because of the whole butterfly effect thing, but the way they do it in that movie really mellows it out, and the living every day twice thing to appreciate every moment is something I would probably benefit from a lot. Also I make a lot of silly mistakes, and I always realize just a moment too late, so if I could go back and erase those as they happened I would probably be taken a lot more seriously. 

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I’m kind of inbetween right now? I used to be a huge night owl, and I slip back into those habits when on holidays. But because of work and uni I’ve been getting up early, and now I just stick to that routine even if it’s a day off. I’m also very dedicated to getting enough sleep every night, because the long-term effects of not enough sleep terrify me, so waking up early and going to bed late that night is just not something I like to do a lot. 

What is your favorite color?

Yellow. It’s a relatively new favourite colour. My dad told me last year that he always saw me as a yellow person, like I had a yellow aura or something, and then I was like ‘I want everyone to see me as a yellowy person’ so I started wearing a lot of yellow, and I think people definitely started seeing me differently, and I certainly developed more into myself, and it’s crazy how just wearing yellow t-shirts could do that, but I swear it changed so much. And now most of the stuff I own is yellow and I think my dad was right, I think yellow really suits me, on more than just a visual level, if that makes sense. 

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

The last book I read was ‘Just Kids’ by Patti Smith. It’s about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. I mainly bought it because I have a huge crush on the guy at the bookshop, and I wanted to buy something so I could interact with him, but I also wanted to look cultured. BUT THEN THIS BOOK OPENED MY EYES OKAY. Her way of writing is so beautiful, and the way she describes living in New York during the 60s and 70s is amazing, and the people they meet and the interactions she has with all these amazing artists at the time are so inspiring, and now I just love everything about that scene, and I need everything I can get on it. 

My favourite book however, is ‘The Name of the Wind’ (and the Sequel ‘The Wise Man’s Fear’ because I’m a cheater) by Pat Rothfuss. I loved fantasy before these books, Lord of the Rings was a staple growing up. But this series changed the game for me. His world building abilities are just astounding, and his characters are so believable and in depth, and the story line is spectacular, and there is just nothing else out there that can live up to this standard I swear. Please, if you have any interest in fantasy, read these books, you will not regret a second of it!

Where would you rather be right now?

At home! I want it to be the Christmas Holidays so that I can see my dad and brothers already!

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

Yes, because I am horribly poetic and cliched like that. There was one period where I really wanted to catch a sunrise in this specific place, but every time I tried I got there too late, or it was really cloudy, or something else would go wrong, so I was chasing this sunrise for the better half of a year before I finally caught it and honestly, it was the best feeling when I eventually got to watch it. 

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

I listen to music whenever I’m doing anything. It probably does not help, because I get distracted super easily, but sometimes I think I’m just living to find that next great song, and whenever I can’t listen to music I get really frustrated (like when it’s 6am and I’m having a shower but my flatmates will get really annoyed if I start playing songs that early).

Right now I’m on a 60s/70s kick because of this book I just read, but it’s usually a lot of folk and indie stuff. 

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

I love the twin aspect, I really do, and maybe it comes from having a such a close relationship with my own brothers, but I do really love exploring that relationship. I also love that he’s a hot mess, but let’s face it, who isn’t?

What’s your favorite type of weather?

I like sunshine, I used to not, I used to like the cold and the dark, like some kind of gollum offspring, but now I can’t get enough of the sun and the warmth. Although that’s English warmth, I don’t think I could deal with Australia or Spain heat. Give me mild sunshine all the time please.

What’s your best RP experience?

I was in an rp for a year or so playing Fabian, and I got super close to the person playing Gid and she came to visit me from Germany once and we made a blanket fort and it was amazing. But mainly I just love the community aspect, wherever there is a good community, I am happy. 

Who inspires you?

Right now? Patti Smith. She’s such an amazing artist, she just makes me want to make art. I’m pretty sure reading that book is the reason I decided to get back into rping, because I just wanted to start writing again and writing consistently every day, because I think I’m a better person when I’m creating, and I am just so happy I read that book and that I connected with it and her the way I did.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

There was this person I went to college with who I sat next to in our creative writing class (because screw science and stuff, I have an A-level for writing shitty poetry for two years). And this girl is just such a character, she’s the kind of person who always gets called by both her names, first and surname, and she is such a freaking nerd, and she knows everything I swear, and she is not afraid to correct you, or put herself out there. She is truly an inspiration. But anyway, I sat next to her in creative writing, and there was this period at the beginning of college where she was a bit of a social outcast, but I thought she was just pretty damn cool, and because I sat next to her, I got to read all her crazy writings. Now, this is a girl who writes everything from poetry about pigeons, to fiction, to song parodies and text adventure games. She was hilarious, and she would just ask for feedback all the time from everyone. She would hand this writing out to people, even when she didn’t have to, just to get feedback so she could make it better. She was just constantly creating, and really I think, just trying to make people laugh. But anyway, she is someone who really inspires me, and I think sitting next to her for two years while I wrote shitty poetry and she created masterpieces probably really influenced me for the better. 

[liseuselonglist]

‘Hag-Seed’ by Margaret Atwood

On the plus side, I enjoyed Margaret Atwood’s Hag-Seed a lot more than I thought I would, and certainly a lot more than most of her recent work. I think I overdid Atwood as a teenager. I read a lot of Atwood and I loved it. I still love her poetry but I’m less thrilled these days by her novels. I didn’t actually expect to enjoy Hag-Seed very much, if I’m being honest. It’s one of four novels (so far) released by the Hogarth Press as part of their Shakespeare project (http://hogarthshakespeare.com/) in which Shakespeare’s works are retold by novelists. Look, here’s the thing; I have a PhD in early modern literature, and I am well aware of the ‘genius’ of Shakespeare and yes, he was a great playwright, and yes, we probably should still read and watch his works. But, the people who are going to buy these books are people who probably already like Shakespeare. Also, I don’t think Shakespeare really needs that much retelling. Does someone want to do a Middleton project? Because I’ve got to say, I think contemporary re-tellings of Middleton’s work would be a hoot! Charlotte Mendelson would do a great re-telling of A Chaste Maid in Cheapside, you could set The Revenger’s Tragedy in Westminster very easily, get Ian McEwan to re-write A Mad World, My Masters (I don’t like Ian McEwan particularly but I do think he’d do a good middle-class satirical comedy and that’s what this play is, essentially), Women Beware Women would be a fantastic Jilly Cooper-esque novel, and I’d pay seriously good money for someone to re-write The Changeling as a historical fiction novel. I know this comes off as grousing and the irritated rantings of someone who is, admittedly, a bit “but why is it always Shakespeare?!” but … why is it always Shakespeare? Especially when the audience for the books probably isn’t going to be an audience that is going to need help being familiar with Shakespeare. Especially when it’s The Tempest. I can understand people not knowing the plot of Cymbeline or Henry IV, Part 2, but The Tempest? Really? Thus far the Hogarth Shakespeare project has published Jeannette Winterson’s The Gap of Time (a re-telling of The Winter’s Tale), Howard Jacobson’s Shylock is My Name (The Merchant of Venice), Anne Tyler’s Vinegar Girl (The Taming of the Shrew) and Hag-Seed.

Anyway, all of that is slightly to the side of the actual book. It is a retelling of The Tempest, set in the Canadian theatre world. Felix was the Artistic Director of a Canadian theatre festival who was ousted by his assistant director in a triumph of grasped power. He had been on the brink of staging an ambitious production of The Tempest. This production would not only correct all the things he thinks he’s done wrong in productions over the years but would also help him grieve for, and mark the death of his daughter. She’s called Miranda, by the way. This book isn’t subtle. So Felix retreats to a shack on the outskirts of town, and eventually he gets a job working for the Fletcher Correctional Facility (I say eventually because it takes 12 years and I was mildly distracted trying to work out how far you can stretch savings described as ‘meagre’ and a pay-off which is described as a ‘pitiful sum’) as an acting tutor. Oh yes, this is a book about the power of theatre and its role in prisons, alright. Being fair, it’s not as heavy-handed about it as that sounds and whilst you probably could assign some of it as reading for students of drama and drama therapy and drama in prisons, Atwood  is a skilled writer. Over the years he stages various of Shakespeare’s plays with his students, focussing on the ones that are about vengeance and revenge. And then it’s the turn of The Tempest. He gets word that his Machiavellian rival, Tony, and some bigwigs in the government – including the Minister of Culture (an all too realistic one; you know, one of those ones that dislikes all things cultural and sees the job as an opportunity to cut things to the bone) – are going to be coming to see the play, and promptly casts the actress from his original Tempest to play Miranda in this one. He’s going to get his revenge, and he’s going to get the students to help.

The students are one of the best elements of this book. They’re kind of ‘taken from central casting’ but it works because this is a book about a play, and characters in plays are obviously taken from central casting. And then Felix makes them say who they want to be cast as, then casts them (he reserves Prospero for himself, obviously) and imposes various tasks and restrictions on them. So they have written assignments and the stronger writers and readers have to help the weaker ones. And, crucially, they can only swear in the classroom if they’re using swears from the text. So people are cursed with the ‘red plague’ and can be called ‘whoreson devils’ but they can’t say ‘shit’. You know what, I think that would work with eleven year olds. And these students go all in on the production. They edit video, they come up with raps about characters, they talk about Caliban and who he is and why he’s there and why he’s treated as he is.

And then it’s time for the final performance which is a riotous, immersive production and it serves its desired purpose. (I do have to say that whilst I enjoyed reading about it, I am very glad that I didn’t have to be there and it reminded me that I am too much of a traditionalist to enjoy immersive theatre productions. Just let me sit and watch things happening on a stage in front of me, please.)

All of the novel is very good. And it will get put on endless third-year English Lit ‘Shakespeare and his Contemporaries’ or ‘Shakespeare in Performance and Practice’ modules as both an exploration of how you can rework a play into a novel and how you can write a novel about how to stage a play, and a novel about the semi-redeeming powers of theatre. I just don’t think it’s as ground breaking as it thinks it is. But that is probably because I’m a little bit cranky about the sheer Shakespeare! Shakespeare! Shakespeare! of the world.