#please be honest because i genuinely dont know but is there even like a 20% chance of anyone else winning

[around-your-throat]

any americans here how can you vote for anyone besides trump or kamala without it just being voter splitting

[ns-imagines]

I did not want to bring drama onto this page but, i need to be able to defend myself and my blog.

To the @ users i had to read ur posts and comments so you should probably read mine :D

Edited: @everyone who comments and then deletes their comment. if ur gonna talk shit unblock me. I am all for it.

It is not fair in any form that everyone involved has only read that post. Let alone the person posting things to provoke the downfall of my week old blog and for me to receive death threats and to be called horrible things. Before you key board smash in the comments read the whole thing below.

There is absolutely no r*pe in the fic i posted. The non consensual aspect of it is Nikto entering the readers personal space, touching of the hand/shoulder/thigh. Everything sexual is consensual. Could i have explained it better in the tags yes. But it does not prompt what is basically cyber bullying to occur. It is my first NSFW post in the entire history of my account 2017-present.

Also people complaining its NSFW its a NSFW post???

Now addressing @cssndra-cain

This had all started two days into the reactivation of my blog. They had posted this.

** CRAZYYYY i go back to take a screenshot of the post and its fucking GONEE. It was a screenshot of my Character Introduction for Nikto. It was basically just talking shit.

At the time MY @ for this blog was in the # portion of the post. My like four followers reached out to me bringing this to my attention. I was almost finished with my fic so I decided to be petty back and send this meme

In no way shape or form does it say what the post is about, the nsfw, the contents, NOTHING. You are absolutely mad if you think i went to read your blog and ur entire life story after you calling me out under hashtags. I am honest to god regretting not taking screenshots of the chat because it was deleted either when they changed their name or blocked me. I dont know or care how tumblr DMS work.

If ur gonna post screenshots post the entire conversation because me stating “dont be sensitive” was referring to the mass amount of nsfw content under tumblr and under the COD fandom. I stated to them in DM there was no r*pe content involved and that it was just touching or him entering the readers personal space. I made sure to directly update it after having this conversation with the other user.

They then proceeded to reblog a post mentioned pedo****a and put MY blog in the hashtags. How the fuck am i a pedo*****e making a NSFW scenario about a man that is well over 20 maybe even 30? Please tell me.

This user then proceeded to remove the hashtags that mentioned me and made the post below

I will personally provide you the link if you want it.

In this post they completely bash my account and LIE about our interaction. Saying that, and i quote

“The author who DMed me even invalidated how much I found rape disturbing by saying “well there’s worse rape fics on here” and saying that I’m too sensitive to be on tumblr.”

Post the entire conversation because this is utter bullshit. All i sent was the meme.

“Imagine telling someone with any kind of past of sexual violence, that they’re too sensitive for the internet “

Because yes, (and this is sarcasm if you are dense) i totallly reviewed this persons account and knew their entire back story of trauma.

Then we have the user’s commenting who dont even BOTHER to check the other side of the story. You would think at the age of 16 or over (tumblr’s age requirement) you would understand that people say shit they way they want you to hear it. There is two sides to each story. If you are that easily influenced and dont do your research after seeing a post on the internet i am genuinely worried.

Then what gets me the most is this person continues to mention me in post. At what point does this become bullying?? You probably wont even read this because you want to feel in the right. Almost your entire blog is complaining about NSFW and how it triggers you like the author is supposed to know. You should probably turn on the NSFW filter. Please message me and i can show you how step by step.

I do not condone or support r*pe sexual assault or pedo****a. You read a NSFW post and got mad it was NSFW.

Im tagging everyone i dont care. If ur gonna call me horrible things, send death threats fucking read this.

Since ur post mentioned things I should learn. Hopefully you learn from this. Dont call people out if you don’t expect the truth to come out. Because i aint the one to take shit talking.

@ghostsaop @fury-under-night @collinnmckinley

@snikimobius @bjahfler @obligatoryghoststare @freshlemontea @romancedeldiablo

^insane most of you guys are late 20s early 30s

I will not be replying to comments or other post im done and i simply do not care anymore i am going to continue writing.

For my followers who are just enjoying my writing. Thank you and i love writing for yall. This will be the only drama post on my account and after 12 hours i will be adding a “read more” so it isnt blocking my content.

*me when i read a marked NSFW post and theres NSFW*

[romanarose]

Hello there ✨️ love your work 💕 I'm a long time fan 🫶🏼. I've been on tumblr a few years now, but I'd never found the courage to post anything of my own til now. I've been feeling a little optimistic these days, and genuinely excited about posting some of my writing and sharing it with the people out here. Do you have any advice on how to start posting and interacting from scratch? Cause I'm low-key nervous abt it and it seems like my target audience has already formed a solid community I don't know how to get into 🥺

Wow, this might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me wowie!!!!!!

okay let me tell my advice

The numbers don't equal quality. Certain things appeal to people more, like shorter stories, straight up smut, Joel Miller gets way more than when I write Marc. I think one of my best works was my Marc X Jewish!Reader series, Seattle, but it idnt get anywhere really even at the height of moon knight popularity bc people dont read OC's esp ethnic oc's. Put your heart into it and those who enjoy it will enjoy it. I had a William Miller series that averaged like 8-20 notes per chapter but I had a handful of readers I knew adored it and thats what mattered

This site is so much better with interaction. PLEASE DON"T ONLY INTERACT FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING FRIENDS WHO"LL REBLOG!! However, if you dont already, make sure you are reblogging stories and leaving nice words! Me personally, if someone reblogs regularly and leave nice words, espcially things that show they really paid attention, I usually just follow back bc I love friends. Im happy to get to know you!

Yes, it's hard sometimes to break it. It took a few months for me to get into the Oscar Issac writer circles, and then when I started writing Pedro it took a while too but I always reblogged and tried to communicate and I made friends. Isn't it crazy we can just.... become friends with our fav writers? Obvs Im not friends with all my favs but MOST of my favs became my friends <3

It's kinda annoying to me bc Im bad at it but aesthetics help. Title, a picture to catch eyes, summary, warnings, note. Try to make it look nice. Im really had at this LMFAOOOOOO. My lovely friends have made my best looking banners. If you have graphic design skills, use them! i wish i didn't have to but it does help catch readers when you have an interesting headers and everything looks pretty.

Few technicals. Use the readmore option. No one wants to reblog a LOOOOOONG story and clog up the feeds. Use as many correct tags as you can. Tag any triggering content. And I'm the worst at this but proof read. Im bad at proof reading, everyone who reads my work knows spelling, grammar, wrong words are a common issue I have bc Im bad at typing. When I still had word on my laptop I started typing in word and using text to speach to help me catch stuff!

Keep at it! IDK where you know my work, weather moon knight, triple frontier or tlou or whatever but all those fandoms right now are like.... a little less active. So don't be dissapointed if it takes a while. With TLOU, theres SOOOOOOO many amazing writers. With Moon Knight theres just less buzz rn. If you write for lesser known characters like Llewyn Davis or Will Miller, you probs won't reach the notes of established writers in Joel Miller. Just the reality. the point is keep going, find what you like and what gets people excited and go from there

This is the most important. Write what you want. I mean it. I love writing Will Miller because he's my special man <3 even though it's a small fanbase. My series Rooms On Fire, a lot have lost interest bc its a long series. That's okay! I love the series and it makes me happy to write it. I wrote a few Miguel O'Hara stories because, I'm being honest here, I wanted to capitalize on the hype. Guess what? They weren't good. I'm not proud of them. Since then, I write what Im inspired to.

THIS SHOULD BE FUN AND IF AT ANY POINT, IT"S NOT FUN STOP AND FIGURE OUT WHY

feel free to say hi off anon! I'm always happy to get to know new people. If you like Triple Frontier, I have a discord server that is pretty much open to everyone! I'm trying to revive it and you can share your works and meet knew people!

Anon or not, let me know if you have any questions!

[licuadora-nasir]

Thoughts on Eldarya ANE Episode 6.

Ah, yes, this great moment where I have to truly think about one of the reasons why I'm obsessed with fictional characters and realise that it's full of plot holes and incoherence. Great.

This is quite large, so I've splitted the ramblings in several topics, therefore, if you want to read about an specific subject, you just have to scroll down and take a look a the titles lol.

Erika

To begin with, let’s talk about Erika. I’m glad this episode inserted internal dialogues to give her development and personality, but there are some things I don’t get. How’s that you do not miss the place where you’ve lived more than 20 years? You have literally been one year and two months awake in eldarya.

That crap about how useful and appreciated you are here? At the beginning they saw you as some kind of hindrance, and now you’ve become both a myth and a legend, a tool, they don’t worry about your mental health nor Leiftan’s.

Basically, they’re relieved that you’re here again so you can fix their new and growing problems, to add insult to injury, you’ve been sent to a mission where if you hadn’t magically (and I said magically cause the sparkling guard already knew Leiftan wasn’t going to help her) recovered your powers you would have almost died several times. To pinpoint, I’m kinda disappointed this hate towards Lance has already ended. You literally despised him yesterday.

Koori

Koori, well, makes me very nervous. Yes, please do not come to roast me, I fully understand that this mission is a trigger to all her traumas, stress and anxiety, but there are behaviours that doesn’t justify it. The peebles, for example. In the battle, it was a delicate situation and it wouldn’t have been convenient to tell her how dumb she has been, but I dont agree with the “Don’t worry, it wasn’t your fault thing”, yes, yes it is.

You almost end your life because of the stupid peebles, and you knew they were dangerous for both you and your crew and you still kept them after being told to drop them. Very unprofessional. What I did like was her new growing friendship with Leiftan. I feel like those two might get along.

Leiftan

At first, I did understand Leiftan’s attitude. It’s completely understandable that he needs time to think about his well-being and mental health, but there are things that I can’t stand. One thing is that you do not want to use your powers and hurt people (whether enemy or not) and another is doing absolutely nothing, which is worthless.

Leiftan is completely capable of managing in any situation with or without his powers (please, he was part of the sparkling and managed to kill several people disguised as a stupid lorialet), and If he had wanted, he could have helped Koori waking her up, try and assist Matheiu when the kitsunes were after him OR KEEP EDGAR SAFE with a low-key profile. However, his great decision was running to the boat leaving his crew in a dangerous and mortal situation. Lol.

Yes, it was Huang Hua’s fault for forcing him to go to that mission but he isn’t dumb, he knew what to expect from this situation.

Nevra, Lance, Mathieu.

I don’t have much to say about Lance and Nevra? Yeah, it was utterly cruel leaving Edgard to froze to death, but honestly? Coming from those two I’m not surprised lol. It was a logical and a stupid decision, cause I don’t know what they would have told Huang Hua as an excuse of why the two most powerful men in the guard coouldn’t find a solution to get a human in the boat. Guess you’d have to eat less, but after living in a world where food and water used to be racionated, I think you’ve been through worst lmao.

I liked how they expressed that Mathieu was very worried for his friend, during the whole episode we’ve seen he was genuinely concerned about Koori and how he appreciates her.

Edgard.

Edgard is a great example that explains that Beemoov does know how to write characters, but sometimes I don’t know why but it seems that they don’t feel like doing it. We’ve get a character with humanity (You cannot convince me that Erika and Mathieu act like humans lmao), that has reacted as any other human would have done in his circumstances, suffering cold, hunger, fear and dirtiness. I’ve liked him since pretty much the beginning, I’ve even become fond of him.

Honestly, even though it has been heartbreaking and expected, my favourite scene it’s his death. During the whole episode Mathieu and Erika have been trying to cheer him up, to calm him down, while they’re hope about saving Edgard and show him the world of Eldarya (starting with the companions while Erika, Edgard and Lance were having a conversation) was sinking. Damn., even I for a moment was hopeful.

The moment where Ophelia appeared and said that one of them was going to die while Edgard was terrified freaked me out, but it freaked me out in a good sense.

His assassination was… Scenic. After all those promises Erika made to the man, telling him she would keep him safe and sound, Tenjin threw a dagger at his throat in the middle of their departure, and Edgar falls dead. Gardienne doesn’t even have and opportunity to process how all her expectations are shattered when she was dragged to the boat, leaving Edgard's lifeless body on the snow. A reminder of how Eldarya is a cruel world where humans doesn’t have a place. A very dramatic moment, one of those that characterize Eldarya and that I missed so much.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, the plot’s development has been slow, there have been a lot of filling about useless explanations of obvious things that could have been replaced with MORE MOMENTS with the LOVE INTERESTS, and the last dialogue with d¡the crush… LMAO, come on let’s be honest, I’m glad they didn’t forget this is an otome, but was it really the moment after that failure of a mission? HAHAHAHAHA, oh goddamn, you better give me the flirting soon or I’ll drive mad Beemoov. A slow episode but with good moments.

[mozukumi]

HIII IT'S THE EXCITED ANON AGAIN (will be referring to myself as 🌸 from now on)

AAAAAA THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING I'M SO 👁👁 AT THE AU!! i'm even more curious about the 30 year olds (lmao oldasses) bc they didn't really have a concrete life plan in canon!! i also saw that izumi, azuma, chikage, and hisoka are the same age so im super intrigued!! did yukio just leave, why izumi became the autumn leader, do they go to the same school, and where is august in this au are the questions floating around in my brain!! AND DAD ENERGY SAKUYA SO TRUE he practically adopted izumi, azuma, chikage, and hisoka bc of their similar family circumstances (probs??? not to impose on your ideas though!!) and the lone wolves link skill became a 5-person one now lol I LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH AAAAAAA

a*sneefles* 🌸 ANON I OWE YOU MY LIFE!!

Just like last time, this got long, so under the cut - for context on what this is about you can look at the mAnkAi swAp tag on my blog! tl;dr: ages of the cast get shuffled around. changes result in much to think about!

first of all. YES. they are very much oldheads. I've literally realized just now in writing this response that Azami should... technically be 31? Because my original methodology was to swap from the two extremes (14 year old become 30, 30 year old become 14, and so on). And while I ended up doing much more tweaking for the high schoolers ages to make it Make more sense, the older crowd remained the same. But um, I forgot that Azami is actually 1 year younger then Yuki and Muku. Oops!

You're absolutely right in that it's hard bc they dont have life plans in canon, which means It's Free Real Estate.

Azami Izumida - Azami, you really got the short end of the stick in this AU, I'm going to be painfully honest. In this verse, his father died when he was about 20 - and without Mankai and Sakyo around to encourage him to find his own path in life, he ended up taking up the family business and becoming the head of the Ginsenkai. He runs the organization with diligence, although deep down he knows its not what he wants to be doing with his life.

He's known Juza ever since he joined the yakuza (at age 17), and holds him in high respect. He appreciates that Juza isn't cruel, but also isn't fake with Azami, and is willing to be honest with him even when that honesty is blunt.

Recently, a young Sakyo Furuichi approached him and asked to join the yakuza in hopes of making money for his family. However, Azami rejected him - not seeing the yakuza as a place for a promising young man such as him.

Muku Sakisaka - Despite his unassuming demeanor, thirty-year-old Muku is actually quite the celebrity - being a renowned shoujo mangaka. Which, funnily enough, makes him kind of parallel to Homare? Famous artist who you wouldn’t expect to be one based on their personality.

Since he didn't have the theater to turn to after he had his injury, in this verse he instead decided to work on his artistic skills. And like...

This is his practice doodle, and I think it's pretty cute! So I don't think it's out of the question to assert that with more time, Muku would be somebody quite capable of producing some good shoujo classics.

He joined Mankai due to a bout of artists block, and hoped the environment would provide him with new inspiration.

Yuki Rurikawa - A well-known fashion designer. Yuki... actually doesn't change that much in this AU? He's definitely more genuinely confident in himself in this verse, which means he isn't always as acidic - he doesn't need to put up a bravado of confidence anymore. But otherwise, same old Yuki, great new package.

and now for the 16 year olds (abandonment issues crew) lets make some NOISE. please dont feel bad for suggesting sakuya adopts them because he ABSOLUTELY DOES. like, obviously all of the adults in the company are parents now :tm:, but sakuya is number 1 dad. masumi also, because he's now realized how fucked up his dad was and he's trying to become a better role model then he was. i have made a meme to illustrate the vibes

So, first of all, let me talk to you about my darling daughter:

Izumi Tachibana - Imagine: it has been one year since your father disappeared. For the most part, things have returned back to normal - or as normal as things will ever be, now that he’s gone.

Then you see a flyer on the street. For the goddamn Mankai Company.

Would you react well? Because um. Izumi didn’t! Understandably!

She was pissed, assuming that her father was back and didn’t even bother to say hi to her and mom - mirroring her longstanding issue of her father valuing the theater over her. So maybe she didn’t think logically. Maybe she just went over to the Mankai theater as fast as she could, and angrily demanded that she speak to the director.

The first person she met was one Yuki Rurikawa. And well - he could tell this kid was upset, for some reason. But also Banri had denied him the budget increase he so clearly deserved, so Yuki was feeling petty and decided not to clarify anything. He just told her that “he’s right over there.”

So she just goes up to the figure and punches him, because she’s 16 and she’s angry and honestly, have you met an angry 16 year old whose angry at her father? I was one. It’s intense. And then he turns around, and it’s not her father at all, but it’s Banri.

She immediately apologizes, but Banri honestly isn’t even that mad. He’s just kind of impressed. #Girlboss! She explains her situation, and Banri invites her to audition for the autumn troupe.

You may ask: wait isn’t mankai a men only theater. and my response is ya but idk <3 #girlboss

As for Izumi being  a bad actress, I posit that so were Sakuya and Juza. I forget where I saw it, but I remember seeing some fic or meta say that the only problem is that Izumi never had her own Izumi, somebody to nurture her talent and make her bloom. But in this AU, she does. 

She’s the leader because honestly? She volunteered first. Sakyo was considering volunteering, but when Izumi volunteered, he yielded to her. Her style as a similar is pretty similar to her style as a director, except y’know she’s a teenager.

Azuma Yukishiro - ohhh azuma poor little meow meow.

He’s more fresh off of his familys death in this verse, which does make him a bit squishier. However, he’s also less emotionally distant, because he hasn’t had all of the years to try and convince himself he’s #coping. He’s actually honest enough to admit that he doesn’t want to have his own room in this verse - so he ends up rooming with Tsumugi and Tasuku is the solo room. 

(my friends joked that because Tasuku and Tsumugi aren’t ‘divorced’ in this verse, Banri decided to divorce them by making them not be in the same room. this does actually make their problem of exerting themselves too hard for the others sake worsen, bc they can stay up late studying without the other noticing.)

Chikage Utsuki and Hisoka Mikage and also August - y’know, for somebody who constantly reblogs gekkagumi content and is constantly thinking about gekkabros, it is actually kind of hilarious that i have no fucking clue what they’re up to in this AU.

It’s something I’ve been rotating and trying to think about! Theoretically, most of their arc could remain the same, because I do think that Chikage and Hisoka entered the Organization at around age 12. But my friends and I still haven’t decided if we want to keep it the same, or have it changed up somehow? The main issue I personally keep running into is justifying the year where Hisoka joins the company but Chikage doesn’t, since if they aren’t split up by potion of erase your memory, I don’t see why they’d go their seperate ways. And then there’s August to think about... I don’t know!!

 I definitely think there’s something fun and unique that could be gotten from their dynamic in this AU, but it hasn’t been cracked quite yet. But also imagining August as a really overdramatic theater parent is everything I need in my life. In my moms home videos of my own community theater productions, you can literally hear my father distinctly whistling during all of the sections where everybody is clapping. This is Augustcore.

One thing to note tho is that if the Chikage arc goes the same way, there is definitely going to be like. a Moment where Banri realizes he got kidnapped by a 17 year old and he’s like “goddamn it this is kinda cringe isn’t it. anyway this kind of overdramatic response is exactly what i would have done if i was a kid lmao lets get you to bed.”

As for the schools... that’s a great question omg. We haven’t decided where Izumi goes to school! But there’s so much potential for interesting dynamics there. And depending on how we end up handling Chikage and Hisoka in this AU, it’s possible they aren’t even going to be going to a regular high school because y’know, Spy Kids. Which brings about a really funny scene in my head where Hisoka isn’t going to school and Banri asks him if he has enough absence days stored up, and then Banri comes to the realization that he literally does not go to school. 

And for Yukio, yup, he still left! It’s just that he only left 1 year prior to the story starting. 

AGAIN, ANON, THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!! onto your next ask these are a joy and also really good for developing some stuff abt this AU

[krabstick32]

Hii!! I don't know how much characters you do write in one scenario/hc but maybe can I have giyuu, sanemi and uzui reacting to a foreigner reader? (since in their timeline Japan started to open up to the world I think) how would their reactions be to their different features ♡♡♡

Home Is Where You Are (Headcanon: Giyuu!Sanemi!Tengen x Foreigner!Reader)

Pairing: Giyuu, Sanemi, Uzui (x Foreigner!Reader) Synopsis: Headcanon/scenario for our boys meeting a foreign civilian reader uwu

Tags/warnings: There are brief mentions of stalkers/kidnappers (i swear it’s not what it sounds like, but I’ll put it here just in case), cursing (bc of Sanemi), and poly relationships (bc of Tengen and his wives!!), but apart from that, I don't think there are any.

a/n: waaa thank you so much for requesting anon!! I decided to do all of them and i had fun! but I'm sorry if they’re a bit OOC :(( i got too used to just writing giyuu but I hope I was able to give Sanemi and Tengen some justice :((

anyway, please enjoy <33

Giyuu Tomioka

You two meet at a bustling city (kind of like the one where tanjiro meets muzan). You’re there for business, him on a mission.

He wouldn’t notice that you look different at first—he’s too focused on trailing the demon following you, that he didn’t even realize how creepy he’d look to you

Would definitely be mistaken as a stalker or kidnapper by you

don't get me wrong!! he isn’t, but we all know babie is terrible at communicating uwu

Anyway

The whole night, he’d be trailing you, and to be quite honest, you’re getting really nervous from him following you

You tried losing him in a series of crowds and ducked behind an alleyway to hide. To your relief, he isn’t there when you take a precautionary look back

When you breath out a sigh, there’s a lone figure hidden in the shadows and for a moment you think it's your kidnapper

Oh how wrong you were.

“Look, can you stop following me? If you don’t, I’m reporting you to the police! You’ll regret i—“

“Regret what, missy?” The thing—it’s definitely not human—saunters closer, cornering you in between the walls before you’re hit with the foulest stench of rotten blood mixed with ash and acid when it breaths over your neck. “Having you as my late night meal? You look absolutely exquisite! Different, but… you would probably taste divine with having some foreign blood.”

All you can do is whimper silently as this thing drags a sharp fingernail over the delicate skin of your neck, its finger wrapping around a tad too tight

“Ah, what a delicacy!” It giggles. “Rather than regret, I think I’ll quite enjoy having you as my late. Night. Snack.”

With how frozen your body was, you couldn’t even shut your eyes as the thing moved to bite your flesh off, but a flash of blue made your world crawl in slow motion as your kidnapper (now savior) kicks the thing an impressive distance away before moving to stand in front of you.

The man mutters a quiet “dont look” and you do as told, looking away as you hear the sound of sword slicing through flesh.

When you look back, he’s sheathing his sword and there was no trace of your assailant save for the faint trace of ash and the clothes on the ground

“Are you alright?” He asks, turning to you. “I lost sight of you and that’s probably how it nearly got you. I’m sorry.”

“What just—what was I, who are you…that?” You stutter out, but he seems to understand what you’re asking.

“It was a demon, and I’m a demon hunter. It’s been targeting you and I was following it to take it down.” Normally, you’d call him a lunatic—because who in their right mind would believe in demons?—but the clothes on the floor, the ash in the air, and the thing, the demon that was about to kill you a few moments ago were proof enough.

“Oh. Oh, A… a demon—and a demon hunter. Was… was that why you were following me? Oh my god… I… I thought you were going to kidnap me!” You laugh, a touch too hysterically—the adrenaline was still pumping through your veins and it was making you feel loopy and lightheaded. “But no, I—I’m fine and It’s not your fault. Thank you. For saving me.”

You introduce yourself, and that’s when he really notices that you’re a foreigner because that’s the only time he was able to look at your face and your name sounds really… different. Pretty, but different.

“Are you a foreigner?” Ah, ever so blunt and straight to the point, our giyuu

“No!” You gasp, your tone light and joking, with a faint hint of sarcasm. He looked too cute not to tease. “What possibly gave it away? But jokes aside, yes, I am. I’m settling down here permanently for business.”

He nods a little embarassed, and you two stare at each other for a moment before looking away immediately because both of you think the other is too pretty. Giyuu thinks you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.

Anyway, he’ll escort you back to your temporary lodging (in fear of another demon, and in hopes to spend a little more time with you), and once you’re safe through the gates, you’ll offer to take him out to grab lunch the next day as a ‘thank you’ meal...maybe as a date—haha…just kidding!!… unless…?

Yeah, it was a date uwu

Now, you two would often take walks in the park after a date (or maybe the walk is already your date), and he would always, without fail, escort you back to your home like a gentleman

walks in the park is now one of your go-to for dates and taking you home after is now a habit

Moving on!!

You want to get to know him, and he wants to get to know you too, but he’s not very good with talking

So when initiating conversation, his questions are short, but are filled with genuine curiosity and you answer back in kind, with your own questions in hand.

Kind of like your own version of 20 questions

Would listen very intently when you talk about your home country, and makes sure he remembers every little thing

Also!! He loves your voice

He especially likes the way you say his name

There’s just that something about your accent that makes him feel all warm and fuzzy, and calmer than lull, his eleventh form—he could just listen to you all day

If you like to sing, he would fall in love all over again when he hears you sing in your language

He treasures the time he spends with you, and adores the time he catches you singing, may it be when you two are just spending time together, or you just doing your thing, babie is happy and filled with love and affection™

Sometimes when he has trouble falling asleep (which is often), just lay down with him and sing him a lullaby from your country and poof, he is out like a light.

The way you sing the words are just so nice and soothing and enchanting, and he loves it—loves you—so much, even if he can’t understand the words.

IN CONCLUSION: he wouldn’t notice that you look different at first (i mean lets face it, his coworkers’ physical features were much different compared to you) but once he does, I don’t think he’d care very much. He loves you for you, and if you’re someone who was born in a different country, it wouldn’t matter because he would still love you and protect you with all his heart.

He still thinks you’re the most beautiful girl he’s seen and to this day, he thinks that out of all the men you could have chosen, he is forever lucky that you fell in love with him. Regardless, he thanks the gods everyday that he has you by his side and does his best to make you feel loved and happy.

Sanemi Shinazugawa

You two would meet in a bakery

Sanemi just came from a mission around the city, and he’s looking for a treat when he enters a newly opened bakery. It seemed to be good, he’s seen a lot of people come in and leave with bags full of pastries.

Sanemi is slightly freaking out when they don’t have ohagi

“What do you mean you don’t have Ohagi? It’s a goddamn staple in bakeries!”

Even if his words have a bit of a bite to them, he surprisingly doesn’t make much of a scene, but his ohagi-less tirade is ended when you, the owner of the bakery come by to save your employee

“What’s Ohaki?” You ask, genuine curiosity coloring your voice and your accent.

Did you just?? mispronounce it and didn’t know what it was?? Sanemi is about to give you a piece of his ohagi-less mind, but he pauses, processing how pretty you were in a second before he blushes and lets out a frustrated grumble.

You thought he turned red because of anger, but really he was just flustered uwu

Of course, He would freak, but it’s not as bad as what the others would think. Though he would still proceed take up your time proclaiming the good news of ohagi

You didn’t seem to mind though, in fact you even look more and more interested as he goes on about how good it tastes

“That sounds really good actually,” You hum, trying to imagine how amazing the texture and flavor would go over with your tastebuds.

“Of course it’s fucking good.”

An idea pure as gold, strikes you as you energetically lean back forward and flash him a smile. “Then, you’d have to take me sometime to try it!”

Poor baby is too caught up with his love for ohagi that he immediately agrees and doesn’t even realize that this was a date

“Ha?! What’d you say, lady? Fine! Meet me here tomorrow and I’m taking you out to taste the best ohagi you will EVER have!”

You two meet up at the same time at the same bakery, your face flushed, and Sanemi none the wiser that this was in fact, a date.

He realizes though once he sees you arrive with your face flushed a little red and your clothes a little nicer than what he saw you wear the day before.

In my mind’s eye, he is a tsundere and he will always be a tsundere

So he blushes too, but hides it and says it's because he wants to eat the damn ohagi already!

You end up liking ohagi, and oop Sanemi ends up liking you

The bakery is pretty much your usual meet-up place

Asks about your culture and stuff and buys you some thoughtful gifts that would remind you of your home country, or cute local knick knacks that he thinks you might enjoy

But would definitely pretend that that wasn’t his intention

“Ugh, I accidentally got this, and I would never use something like this so. You have it. Fuckin’ throw it, burn it, use it or whatever, hell, I don’t really care.”

But he does, and you both know it.

Even if his reasoning barely makes any sense (c’mon, how can you accidentally buy something you know you won’t use??), you’re still really thankful when he hands you his “accidental” present for the day and you would show him this really pretty smile. Your eyes are glowing, and your hair is like a halo around your face and—

Sanemi thinks you look like an angel

Once, Sanemi said that you look really really pretty. He was embarrassed, but when he sees your blush darken and smile widen, he decides that it’s worth it and casually tells you every time you meet

When he sees you using his gift, he’d try so hard to hide the wide smile on his face

You get him some stuff too, some little trinkets that remind you of him. Sometimes if you come across ohagi in your many travels, you’ll buy him every flavor and taste it with him once you two meet up.

Down the line, you’d also consider adding Traditional Confectioneries to your menu and bring him in to critique them.

“So? How does that one taste?” A bead of sweat trails down your temple, as you anxiously waited for his feedback. You breathe out a sigh of relief though when his eyes open and his head bobs in affirmation.

“Eh. Texture-wise you nearly got the hang of it. Taste wise? A little too sweet.”

You nod and rush to make some corrections into your little notebook of recipes and make a new batch for him to try. You knew you were close, and damn it all if you weren’t going to perfect this today.

“How about now?” You push him a tray of the new batch, hoping that this would be it.

“Not bad.” Is all he says, and in the Sanemi language you’ve gotten used to these past few months, that means that it was one of the best things he’s ever tasted, and would be the highest form of praise you were ever going to get from him.

You show him a smile that makes his heart beat faster, and move to grab your notebook to write down the final recipe.

Needless to say, the customers—foreign and local alike—love the traditional sweets. Particularly the ohagi—they say it’s the best they’ve ever tasted. You had Sanemi’s high taste to thank for that uwu

He likes to pretend that he’s not soft for you.

But once you two have been together for a while, he’d show you more of his vulnerable side

Sometimes, he’d even braid or play with your unique and pretty hair, just like how he used to do with his younger siblings.

When you cook your favorite dish back in your homeland, he gets pretty addicted to it too (a pretty high bar if you ask me). It is now his second favorite food, and he learns to make it so he could surprise you!!

And while Ohagi may be Sanemi’s number one, when you’re around, you take first place.

Tengen Uzui

He’d be very flamboyant about it

I don't think there any other way for him to approach it really

But i think he’d be taken with you once he sees you

He sees you in the city and doesn’t hesitate to walk up to you and strike a conversation

He immediately notices that you’re not from around here from your looks and your accent just pretty much confirmed it 

You’re just very flamboyant—we’re not just talking about physical appearances here, but there’s just something different about you and the way you carry yourself, that just catches his eye and attention 

But he thinks it just adds your charm and would be very sweet about it!!!

He was so caught up in talking to you that you two don't notice the time pass and now its night

Even if he should really be getting ready to patrol for demons, he offers to take you back home but you decline

“Hey, it's getting late and it’s dangerous to walk alone at night. I can walk you home if you’d like.” Tengen says as he looks at you after noticing how dark it’s gotten.

“Oh, I appreciate the offer, but it’s alright!” You say, touched that he’s worried after meeting you so soon. “It’s just nearby, really and I can handle myself, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, i’ll be fine. Thank you for worrying though.” Tengen stays quiet for a moment until he looks back up to you and speaks. “How about…we meet each other tomorrow? Tomorrow, same time, same place—Just so I know you got home safe.”

You giggle, a little flustered as a light blush dusts your cheeks. “Oh, so like a date?”

“Yeah, like a date.” He flashes you a handsome smile that makes you feel giddy down to your toes.

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

A few moments after you leave, Tengen’s jaunty walk down the park is interrupted when his crow swoops down to his shoulder and cries out in distress

“Demon is close by! Targets young girls walking alone!”

A chill runs down his spine. His head is running through all the horrible scenarios of you dead on the ground as he runs after the direction you left, hoping that you’re okay and you’re not a target.

He arrives just in time to see you brace yourself from the demon. His blade runs through the neck and he rushes to help you up from the floor after making sure the demon is dead

“Are you hurt? Gods, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know there was a demon around.”

“Oh, so that was a demon?” You seem fine, but Tengen could feel the guilt gnawing at him. For a moment, he forgot that demons existed and was able to forget how dangerous his job was. The least he could do was let you know.

“Yes, it was a demon and I’m a demon hunter. It’s my job to kill demons that hurt innocent humans.” He looks at the ground, but his train of thought is interrupted when he feels a hand on his arm. 

“Hey, look at me. I’m fine, you were just in time.”

“...I’m walking you home.” You don’t argue this time, choosing to thank him and hide your shaking hands. He notices though, and gently grabs one, letting you to lead the way.

You arrive home safe and in one piece when one of you speaks up again

“Hey, about tomorrow, it’s alright if you don’t want to go anymore. I understan—“

“Hush. I’m going, and no demon can stop me.”

“Okay.” The two of you smile at each other, and Tengen feels the warmth from your hand seep into his skin.

When you’re almost through your door, you turn around with determination in your eyes, and ask him to lean down a little.

You still have to go on your tiptoes to reach him, but the look of confusion on his face melts into surprise as you press a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“I um… I’ll see you tomorrow?” A bright blush coats your cheeks as you look up at him from your eyelashes.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, take care.”

“You too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tengen notes that your face was burning as you nod and rush to your opened door, throwing him a wave before you shut the door.

As you two date, he’d ask you a lot of questions, ask you for stories, and even asks you to teach him some stuff from your country—cooking, traditions… how one goes about courting, the whole shebang

You find it flamboyant of him that he wants to know you more

You tell him as such and he laughs when he realizes that he’s rubbing off on you

He’s also very protective of you (and his wives uwu)

Don’t get me wrong, he respects you and doesn’t think you’re helpless, but he worries, especially after what happened in your first meeting

If he hasn’t convinced you to live with him (and his wives uwu) yet, he would deck your house out in wisteria charms to ward off them demons.

He’d also tell you to carry a wisteria charm at all times, especially if he’s not around

If he already has his three lovely wives, they would immediately love you and you four would sometimes play dress up. They’d hand you some of their kimonos and you’d give them some of your dresses and you all have fun—Suma, Makio, and Hinatsuru would also love playing with your hair and makeup!! Tengen would join in too at times~

If tengen is still single when he meets you, then only the two of you would be the one doing dress up (you cannot convince me that tengen would not play with your hair or makeup)

you’d look very flamboyant either way though and even without the makeup or the fancy dress, Tengen would still find you flamboyantly gorgeous

(Again) if he’s already married with his three wives, he would love seeing the three of you bond with each other

(You and his wives love each other too, so you five are just one big lump of happiness and affection)

Like aaaa his heart feels full when he sees all the women he loves in his life getting along and caring for each other!!

He treats you all equally and showers all of you with his love and attention

Tengen will forever be glad that he met you, and got to you before the demon could, because you added so much love and happiness into his life

A/N: ngl, this was a nightmare to format u—u hope it’s not too difficult to read though!!

this is also the first time i did a headcanon so i hope i did good!! if you have some feedback or got a request, feel free to message me or send me an ask uwu thank you for reading <33

[shoezuki]

cracks knuckles. i promised to elaborate and i will.

the one common perspective that everyone seems to be able to agree on is that techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo are just genuinely funnier than the dteam, and honestly yes it's because if the popularity. if you go back and watch the dteams older (im talking before 2-3mil subs) videos they are funnier than their current ones and i think it's because they're trying to shift their humor to a broader audience?

the minecraft community has always been mainly queer/poc/ndv kids because it was exiled away from "acceptable society" for so long that only the people who had already been "exiled" continued to enjoy it. I, as an example, stopped playing when it became a cringy thing because I was so worried about being seen as weird. now that ive discovered, come to terms with, and enjoy my queerness, i realize that if i had known i was queer back when mc was exiled i wouldve continued to play because i alrwady would have known what it was like to be part of that seperate society. (Please keep reading i promise I have a point)

but then minecraft came back. minecraft became mainstream again, and it came back HARD. watching it go from something that you would be bullied immensely for to something that you would be bullied for not doing was an extreme experience. in all honesty im still angry about it, but that's another topic. when minecraft became mainstream it brought with it all of the people that hadn't been part of the exiled societies yk? including... the dream team.

dream blew up. we all know how much he blew up. i personally dont believe he cheated on the speedrun but to each their own (although after reading your stuff and becoming more critical of them im realizing i might need to reexamine that), and the speedrun controversy brought even more people to his base (cough drama loving straight white girls cough).

when they were brought into the fanbase that's when it started to go downhill. they shifted their humor to fit that, or maybe their humor was always that and they just got more confident in showing it after they had gotten a fan base to back them up. which is also why techno / sbi + schlatt + tubbo + ranboo (who ill refer to just as techno&co now because he's the main one but also that's long as hell lmao) are funnier than them!

for one, their fanbases are smaller. now 5 mil is by no means a small number, but compared to dream's 16 mil? yknow. especially with techno's wack upload schedule he's never had to worry about having a stan fan base because the only people who stay are people who genuinely enjoy his content the way it is.

two, techno&co are mostly ndv. techno has adhd, tubbo has dyslexia, wilbur had and maybe still has depression, ranboo has anxiety, tommy hasnt confirmed or denied his adhd but im betting he at least has borderline. i am in no ways saying that being part of one minority (in this case ndv) gives you free range over another (queer), but all minorities have this understanding about what it is to be part of an exiled community (if that makes sense).

philza and schlatt, not so sure if they're ndv, but they're also older and generally more mature and esp in philza's case, theyve had their chance to make their bad jokes and pull stupid shit and theyve grown out of it (if they ever had that phase at all). techno&co have that understanding and even if they dont know where the boundaries are they know that queer humor (and all humor! other than techno, sbi doesnt really make gay jokes) going to have boundaries, and they respect that.

three, techno is the funniest bitch because he has adhd. i dont take criticism on this point because im right.

i probably missed a lot, probably got some stuff wrong, but all in all i think i hit my mark. i can come off anon to chat anytime if youd vibe w that. no pressure to respond to this! have a good day, etc etc, it was fun getting to tear into the dteam in a safe space. respect for them and their fanbases, their humor is a little off but i still gotta respect how well theyve done. btw i woke up and rolled over and started typing I haven't proofed this at all so yeah. :) - andy

And your brain is fucking massive yo like u must got chronic back pain too from holdin up all these Thoughts in ur head

I really like. Minecraft fans is So varied cuz like u said it was so very 'cringe' before. I got into mc again n playin it w my siblings years before it Popped Off again entirely cuz i stopped Giving a Shit that it was 'weird' or any a that. N sbi have been goin strong through it So Long both when it was hotshit and when it was "cringe"

N definitely like minecraft ive always noticed has a Massive ndv community. I dont know entirely what it is like definitely part of the 'cringe' factor like u said and also cubes make our brains go brrrr? The aspect of self expression in it? I dont know but we Been Here

I do think dteam's content and shit like. It obviously moved in sync with perceptions of mc to garner a Big General audience. Dream blowing up entirely had to do w the Trends and how mc got popular. Therefore hes audience is Huge and Varied

In contrast w techno n like. He has blown up quite a bit too. But i feel its fair to say he Hasnt altered his content significantly. Or at least like. How its presented, what he does, etc. For fucks sake he doesnt have a stream schedule. And although his content is Still garnering a Large and really varied audience it feels more like. Isolated and homogeneous almost

Like. I can go into the technocord right now and say 'dont forget to take your meds' and at least 20 or so ppl would be all like Oh Fuck Whoops. Theres SO many of us adhd ppl in there. I always goof bout techno jus sayin pspspsps and the neurodivergents crawling up from the floorboards but honest to god. His content and jokes and i suppose Personality jus appeals to us So Much. Same goes for sbi pretty heavily honestly altho i feel its most evident in techno's most Dedicated fans

Also. Lbr. The people who stay through technos schedules and content Droughts are the ones who be hyperfixating Abskfvdkdsjsjsl

BUT going into sbi as a Group like. They are friends. And together they are fucking hilarious. N i feel it strongly like. The fact theyre all such Varied people of different ages and such helps w that shit. It Works So Well.

Long story short being neurodivergent makes you funny as hell letsgo

[sugargliderowl]

Thoughts on Janus’ Playlist...

Some of my first-time-hearing reactions to Janus’ playlist (sorry for the rambling parts):

Black Hole Sun: It’s apparently about depression according to Genius? Like it’s kinda like yearning for the depression to be sucked into the “black hole sun”... The snake references and heaven and hell is definitely Janus. Also, it sounds old-timey like a jazz song, so that sets up the mood of the entire playlist. I don’t really get this... but this feels like a mood setter for the entire thing, unless it means something else. What do you guys think?

It Seemed the Better Way: The strings? CHILLS. Leonard Cohen’s voice reminds me of Hades in Hadestown. “Sounded like the truth, seemed the better way... but it’s not the truth today” is just his motto is what I’m seeing. And then the “I better hold my tongue, I better take my place...” part feels like resignation to me. It’s either Janus is trying to help, but that didn’t work so he resigns to become the “villain” of the light sides. It could allude to the dark sides as a whole: they are all trying to help Thomas in their ways, but because being themselves doesn’t work, they need the villain, spooky facade.

Anywhere: Ooh, I’m seeing a vintage vibe from all of this... Back to the song. “It’s a beautiful / If you’ve been lied to” is a good callback to the whole “society is built on lies” from SvS from Jay Dee. “Let this be a call to arms / At the changing of the avante garde / Nothing in this world... is beautiful.” Is Janus a pessimist? If so, he’s a good juxtaposition to Patton, the optimist. Also, the vocals remind me of like a really old timey radio, semi-haunted... my instincts say that it feels like the singer is like Harrison Bergeron (Kurt Vonnegut; do read it; it’s a good short story) trying to tell the truth about this world that people think is a good place.

Talking at the Same Time: Someone please draw Janus as like a 1920s gentleman character swaggering... wait I can. This song reminds me of “Why don’t you do right” by Jessica Rabbit on “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.” Jazz or blues? Either one. This song is really depressing? I don’t know why, but there is that feel of everything is hopeless. Pessimistic, again. “A tiny boy... made a sword from a stick and a gun from his hand” reminds me of Roman in a way? But then again, the “we bailed out all the millionaires / they’ve got the fruit / We’ve got the rind” doesn’t remind me of Roman.

all the good girls go to hell: “MY LUCIFER IS LOOONELYY”... sorry I love this song. Anyways, the lyrics really speak to Janus just because of the whole duality and Christian metaphors. Also, J is the side who would definitely “want the Devil on her team”. We love the whole duality motif. I just *chef’s kiss x3*.

Denial: OH MY GOSH THE SVS REDUX... J was denial. HE WAS DENIAL. “Just don’t shut your eyes closed / Not until I get it off my chest” is basically the blindfold metaphor that happened throughout SvS, so would this be the message he wants to send to Thomas and Patton... or maybe the entire light sides. “Have you turned a corner? / Do you think of leaving me behind?” Dark side acceptance arc? Also, “I know you’re looking for direction... I know where you wanna go / Oh I do, but do you?” is to Roman and Thomas for the callback because he knew they wanted to go “so bad.”

(click for more analysis and summary!)

Trust in Me: Of course, snek boi, I knew this could be something you’ll put in. But do we trust you? So this is his suave villainy song. This again shows how Bananaconda child operates; he wants Thomas to trust him and be selfish but excessively. That’s why balance is necessary for all of the sides!

Razzle Dazzle: *gasp* MUSICAL SONGS NOW? YASSS. Definition is “noisy, showy, and exciting activity and display designed to attract and impress,” so the whole facade of being fancy to hide the insecurities and “bad” parts. Sounds like someone we know (*cough* ROMAN *cough*). “What if your hinges all are rusting / What if, in fact, you’re just disgusting? / Razzle dazzle ‘em and they’ll never catch wise” is just a jab and a stab at Roman. Or maybe it’s him. He’s also the dramatic one. If so, we have angst arriving.

When the Chips are Down: HADESTOWN OH MY YES! STRINGS! AAAAA! Does Janus give me Fate vibes in a way? Yes, definitely. “Nobody’s righteous / Nobody’s proud / Nobody’s innocent / Now that the chips are down” Holy CRAPP. It’s the perfect response to Patton’s “Nobody’s perfect... except for Thomas, he loves his friends!” in SvS. Now that the “chips are down,” Thomas should take after himself... after all, the Fates were telling Eurydice to look after herself. Sounds like what Janus said to Thomas after the Redux.

Mandy Goes to Med School: Oh. Um. This sounds like the whole jazz/20′s theme. This song’s apparently about abortion? I’m kinda confused, so feel free to add on! But it’s quite the bop, just listening to it. Maybe the whole thought that society makes laws based on a false conception? Help.

I Put A Spell On You: Janus definitely goes to jazz clubs. “I can’t stand it ‘cause you put me down” and “I tell ya I ain’t lyin’” and “Because you’re mine” makes the whole villainesque feel. I don’t know where this was from, but this stands out to me just because it was on the “Friends on the Other Side Mashup”. 

Evil Night Together: Ominous, and then jazzy. Jay Dee’s flirting skills go to the max. This also gives the villain vibe by the lyrics referencing things that Remus would be fond about. Also, “Who’s gonna make you a hero” seems to be directed to Roman like he did in SvS. This is a very seductive song with really dark undertones about crime. Janus, that slimy snek boi is a lawful neutral to evil. 

Dont’ Tell Mama: Cabaret... a classic musical, eh? “Hush up, don’t tell mama / Shush up, don’t tell mama” goes to Janus’ power to silence people. “If you had a secret, you bet I would keep it / I would never tell on you...” Janus is definitely the one about lies and secrets, so that goes to that.

You’re a Cad: “What’s the point pretending that you could be a better man? / Just give in, since you always end up right back where you began” “You’re a rascal and a rogue, a villain and a crook” is the other sides viewing him, and “Still I tug at your line, I’m a fish on your hook” and “I should be better, but I’m worse” is hinting at some Janus angst. I think it’s going to be something about trust

As Far as I Can See: JANUS ANGST TRUCKING IN ON TO YA: “Nobody loves me / As far as I can tell.” Or even “Nobody’s listening as far as I can tell / And when I’m crying out / Nobody cries back for me.” Haha... I’m totally fine (*sobbing*). Also, the “we’re all going down / all down the staircase aboard” either hints at the Redux statement of pushing people off staircases... or maybe Virgil who went down the staircase and left the dark sides. Gosh, I thought this was gonna be a hype song by the beat, but I stand corrected.

Criminal: Oh, so the angst continues. Great. Totally great. This somehow links back to the bloopers of Thomas, as J, saying “I’m not bad; I’m just drawn that way.” This is peak sarcasm in a way, but I don’t really know. “I’ve done wrong and I wanna suffer for my sins / I’ve come to you cause I need guidance to be true / And I just don’t know where I can begin”... is this from Thomas to Janus or the other way? If it’s from Thomas, Janus is kinda mad and is using as much sass as he wants. If it’s from Janus, it’s either he’s lying or he genuinely wants a redemption arc like Virgil did... but in a not so righteous way with “And I need to be redeemed / To the one I’ve sinned against / Because he’s all I ever knew of love.” I don’t really know, but this is such a bop.

Change: “I’ve been thinking it’s just someone else’s job to care / Who am I to sympathize when no one gives a d-” and “” Wow. Janus has his similarities with Logan. He wants to be listened to the sides. I mean, there is a reason why he impersonates the light sides: to be listened without bias. “Change is a powerful thing / I feel it coming in me” foreshadows some good stuff with Janus! YES! Also, “Maybe by the time this song is done / I’ll be able / To be honest” and the rest of the lyrics just hit me like a truck? It hurts the soul in a way. Change is inevitable is the message, so would that mean Janus could have an upgrade? I mean, the change started when SvS Redux happened with him coming out and being accepted by the light sides, so maybe, maybe things will change from there in a good way.

Devil In The Details: “A house of cards / A supple heart / Is not a place to dwell”.... Patton? Oh no. “But know there’s no backing out / This is gonna be reality / You can never dream it out” is going to his reputation and relations with the sides and Thomas? He seemed to have hesitated to say his name and let his reputation down since that would change everything that he has known over the years. Would this mean the dark and light side thing will break in later episodes? Maybe. “I put the past into the ground / I saw the future as a cloud / If there’s still time to turn around / I’m going to” is a big oof. And then... “I am the first one I deceive / If I can make myself believe / The rest is easy” comes in. Is Janus lying to himself? He’s the manifestation of deceit, but is he also doing that to himself? Or it could be to Thomas. But then again...

Come Little Children: Spooky. Nice. This feels like a lullaby. “It must be this way / To weary of life and deceptions / Rest now my children...” and then “The time’s come to play / Here in my garden of shadows” make me think that Janus thinks that this life is quite... painful. I am not too sure about this, tell me what y’all think!

Into The Unknown: Oh it’s not that one. It’s the one from Over The Garden Wall (the animation if I remember it right). I don’t know why, but I saw Come Little Children and connected that to Into the Unknown as words, so that was cool. “Dancing in a swirl / Of golden memories / The loveliest lies / Of all” refers to nostalgia. This song is about nostalgia. Wait. OH WAIT. Patton’s room is all about that... so would that mean nostalgia is also part of Jay Dee too because of the mood around it that is distorted by emotions? That’s something really cool to think about. One more: “If dreams can’t come true / Then why not pretend?” I feel like this points to Virgil in a way because his dream is complete acceptance, but Janus knows V was a dark side, so maybe he’s hinting at Virgil pretending to compensate for the fact that he is a dark side.

Summary:

Janus’ aesthetic would be a 1920-40 vintage theme with jazz on the background, strings and piano used ominous effect, and being flashy and dramatic. He wants to be listened to the other sides, so he puts up different disguises (like to Pat and Lo), which includes his villain facade he put on for the past maybe 2 or 3 years. He strongly believes that society is built on lies, and like in SvS, he doesn’t want Thomas to be disadvantaged in the said society. He loves the whole duality and juxtapositions (I mean, his name is Janus for a good reason) because he embraces them both. He jabs at several sides for them faking themselves to hide their true feelings, but then again, he might also be lying to himself. He knows that change is inevitable after the whole name reveal, and we know that his acceptance arc is going to come. It could be about trust and facing the reality... just my thoughts. In other words, this playlist gave me a bunch of reasons on why Janus is a great morally gray character.

FEEL FREE TO ADD ON! I LOVE SHARING THOUGHTS! Especially with analysis, more people means more thoughts and new ideas and theories. Thank you! 

[loptyrs-moved]

Can you talk more abt ur fandoms ocs? I like your writing a lot and would like to know more abt em

Oh my goodness I’m 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re SO sweet thank you!

Well, I have quite a few and some have their own deeper lore stories that go with them. If you guys want more information on them, I can do separate posts on all of them. But Here they are! I’m so excited to share my babies with you!

More is under the cut. The Picrew I used is here.

Ikemen Revolution

Black Army Side

Corrin Fukui

Age: Appears to be in mid-early twenties

Hair: Brick white

Eyes: Blood Red

Height: 4′11

Any other Qualities:

Draconic features -- She’s literally a dragon but not by nature

Curved Opalescent Horns

Shimmery opalescent tail

Wings that also shimmer in the light

retractable?

Pointed ears

Easily frightened by loud noises and sudden movements

stunted growth

Hoards blankets and comfort items

writes in a journal every day 

its one luka got for her and she refuses to write in anything else. she pours her heart out on the pages, and all her memories

she had a brother! but he passed away because of the magic tower :(

turns into a gIANT DRAGON 

ICE ICE BREATH BABY

Was found by Luka while on a patrol near the forbidden forest, lost and afraid, so she was taken in

Had amnesia at first

She actually is an experiment of Amon and she managed to escape

Excellent at sewing and gardening

Sufficient with baking

She’s for Luka! The way they fell for each other was a slow, gradual trust, and mutual understanding. She saw him as a man, as he was, and nothing else.

Sometimes is called Corri

gentle hearted and innocent

but not as innocent as you’d think 

she’s a dragon, and she’s a greedy little one

Ophelia Dae

Age: 24

Hair: Crimson red

Eyes: Jade green

Height: 5′8

Any other Qualities:

A skilled swordsman, and one of the Chosen Thirteen

9 of Spades baybeee

While she is more accustomed to short swords and sabers, Phelia is a magic user! But she isn’t really in agreement with Ray with his stance on magic

BOMBASTIC AS HELL

BISEXUAL

“Is he bothering you Queen?”

Trans

Was friends with Ray and Fenrir while in school, and was just as much of a hellraiser as them

she was there when the day things went dark happened and was almost taken but that day is a blur for her

phelia REFUSES to talk about it

she still has nightmares

raised by a single mother

TRIVIA! She was an old fire emblem oc i had and she was the daughter of Arvis -- so if you squint when she uses magic you’ll see Valflame

joined the army probably because Fenrir was too, and she was inspired by him 

she joined for her own reasons but he made it easier for her to do it too

his passion was what made her fall for him in the first place

has a personal vendetta against the magic tower for what they did to her and her friends

AND CORRIN JEEZ

will sacrifice herself if necessary to the cause

PROBABLY HAS ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT

Bruh girl

Amira Nasiri

Age: 22

Hair: Chocolate brown

Eyes: Turquoise blue

Height: 5′3

Any other qualities:

My version of Alice! Difference is that she’s Persian

That’s it

She’s just as spunky as Alice 

however she responds with being called Alice a little different

she’s adamant about being called Amira

At some point she just accepts Seth does it to distance himself

also an avid baker like alice

pISTACIOS

BAKLAVA

Amira is just Alice except she’s just my take on her. 

She has the same vibrant spirit as Alice

and I personally consider Seth the canon route for REASONS

just ask me why fjgdfgjksd

Red Army Side

Azul Flores

Age: 25

Hair: Raven black

Eyes: Wisteria purple

Height: 5′0

Any Other Qualities:

An old friend of the Queen of Hearts

like she met him when she was 8 years old

fought his bullies when they would give him a hard time when he was a kid

they dated for a WHILE

did NOT work out

HARD CHILDHOOD

Ambitious, hard working young woman who was married into a high standing family on the Red side. Her mother was a teacher and gained the attention of one of the Chosen Thirteen on that side, and got married

Azul is NOT the officer’s daughter. She’s his step daughter

Has had extensive studies on the History of Cradle and of the Red Territory.

Wants to be a Cradle Historian

Works for the Red Army as a personal assistant to the queen

UNINTENTIONAL

THEY ACTUALLY CANT STAND EACH OTHER

Unless....

Look their story is very dramatic and it hurts me every day so please stay tuned with them. 

CUT THROAT BITCH

YOUR DEVIL

DEMON

Heckles Jonah like its her job — she knows him better than anyone elsd, if anyone knows his bs, its her

Bad resting bitch face

Actually really shy, and quiet when in different surroundings

A sweetheart and will cut a bitch for you once she knows u

She is perhaps one of the most transparent, honest, genuine person. there is no bullshit with her. she will tell you her honest thoughts with you

Cerise Nam

Age: 19

Hair: Berry Pink

Eyes: Petal Pink

Height: 5′2

Any other qualities:

Her mom came to Cradle from a far off place, and set up a food and pastry shop in the Central Quarter. Met her dad. Been there since

They live in Black Territory

She works for her parents and works with the pastries/desserts

loves making desserts from where her parents are from

She knows the Queen of Hearts VERY well since she makes the best mille feuille

Got a job from him actually, and works for the Red Army Headquarters kitchen

Loves to cook and bake!

a little naïve, but she’s a realist

youngest of FIVE kids!!

Morning girl

She may be petite but she can HEAFT heavy bags of flour/rice/dry goods

Met Zero by accident, and crashed into him while in town

love at first sight for her. how can you fault her?

she thinks he’s dreamy... and sweet...

does she flirt with him a little? Cerise can’t help it...

She and Zero have more of a hidden relationship because she fears her parents won’t approve

family stuff -- and she understands

RED ARMY OFFICER?? BLACK TERRITORY GIRL

look im cheesy

dont worry it works out

zero has to consider himself and his own personal stuff too so its a little difficult 

Non Army Suitor(s)

Lucile Lidell

Age: 20

Hair: Straw blonde

Eyes: Aqua blue

Height: 5'1

Any other qualities:

She and her twin, Noelle, are the actual descendants of the original Alice

Inherited unusual hairpins that were from cradle

More of the 'modern woman stuck in the wrong time' kind of gal

Rebellious

Noelle and Luci: partners in crime

Short skirts galore

Does not give a singular shit of what MEN think of her

Wants to be taken seriously

Sometimes acts like an airhead in order to get attention. She's actually pretty somber as a person and prefers to be in the background as her sister takes the stage

loves her sister more than anyone else in the world

When she and Noelle fall into Cradle, they kind of hightail it and live in the woods with Harr and Loki

Sticks with Harr since he's literally the least threatening man ever

First man to feel safe around

"Excuse me he said NO pickles!"

Will cut a bitch for him, or use magic -- luci will hurt someone if they even think a bout looking at him wrong

Loves to make clothes

'I mended the holes in your cloak for you...' 'Bye Harr, be safe and have a good day.'

'Welcome home, I missed you.'

Puts up a tough girl front but she's just a big softie just like him

Doesn't realize she has a crush on him until shit starts to hit the fan

Actually very vanilla tbh but wants to spoil her bf

Ikemen Sengoku

Ito Tsunade

Age: 26

Hair: Straw Blonde

Eyes: Molten Gold

Height: 5′5

Any Other Qualities:

Graduate student at the same university as Sasuke 

got stuck in the storm with him and Mai, and was tossed into the sengoku era

but she got separated from Mai

Met Shingen first much to her luck because uh.... lets say Tsunade is aint the sharpest tool in the shed

HEAD EMPTY

ZERO THOUGHTS

AIRHEAD

her aesthetic when she gets there?

TITS OUT

BIG HONKERS BIG TATA

HOT

her head might be empty but her tits are fat and they will protect you

Music nerd — loves traditional Japanese instruments, especially the difficult ones

Specializes in girl metal in modern day

eventually proves herself and plays some sick chords for the takeda/uesegi forces

she has entertained them for now

puts sake away like a monster

when she meets sasuke, she finds comfort in the fact he’s also lost with her, so she clings

asks him how to protect herself from shingen bc he’s horny lolol

genuinely thinks sasuke is hilarious

also does NOT realize she’s in love with him until the gravest of grave happens

her name was UNINTENTIONAL

Aibana Hinata

Age: Presents in his early-mid twenties

Hair: Black Midnight

Eyes: Haunting gold and vermillion

Height: 5'3

Any other qualities: 

The concubine of Nobunaga

Please know I made him a long while before the other guy was dropped so I’m just gonna offer this little gay boy

Nobunaga bought him from a brothel after being so intrigued by him. Hina entertained him so well that he was set for life

A RIGHT SNARKY BASTARD

HE KNOWS HE’S PRETTY AND CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER

Likes to challenge Nobunaga in battles of wits

board games

debate as pillow talk

swordplay if the lords will entertain him enough

Bisexual as hell

Gender? Don’t know her

He uses all pronouns

True pronoun: princess

ONLY EXISTS IN A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS MAI

Nobunaga/Mai/Hinata........

Unless.......

Smart, and educated

former geisha

he can read! and write!

LOVE FUCKING WITH HIDEYOSHI

if there is mai, he would bond with her like no one else

he would be her best friend

her confidant

genuinely adores her

even if she is pursuing nobunaga, he doesn’t resent her ... he just wishes that she would find room in her heart for him too

puts up a tough exterior

a softie.....

[nanamismami]

high. suna x reader

and to my message you reply

hi. is this another suna fic based around “why’d you only call me when you’re high”? yeah...whateva

pairing: suna rintarou x reader

warnings: angst, toxic relationship, drug use, nsfw if you squint your eyes and do a little dance, vomit (suna got sick:(), fluff

genre: angst, fluff

wordcount: 2104

a/n: is it fanon? yeah. a little ooc? yeah. sorry :(

fic below da line :)

        a late night always holds many possibilities. a party, a date, at the least a break from the status-quo. yet somehow you always manage to find yourself at the exact same spot every time.

        suna’s front porch had changed several time since you first started rendezvousing with him. he had a habit of buying large plants, but forgetting to take care of them.

“the only thing he spends more money on than weed is houseplants,” you chuckle. he was still calling you, though he had failed to open the door after five minutes of knocking. you retrieved a key from the underneath of a dying hydrangea plant and let yourself in.

        not all of his late night calls were for personal pleasure. there’s been many times where he needed a place to hide from an angry dealer, or an extra $20 from his doting partner. more often than not, he needed someone to ease him off of a bad high. suna has bought laced all too many times, and couldn’t turn to any other responsible figure but you. “you’re really good at it,” he would tell you when you inquired about him calling someone else for once.

        his messages were a frenzy of “i need help”, “please come over”, and a million other vies for your company. it had been like this for about seven months: he phones you, you get pissed, and yet you still show up to his doorstep. admittedly, your meetings were generally for sex. you weren’t ashamed of it; but he was. 

you told yourself you wouldn’t ever stand for a shitty relationship. yet here you were: a glorified booty call for an emotionally distant man. he only kept you around by taking you on the occasional date. buying you a gifts when he thought you needed one. empty promises of “we’ll put a label on it soon, they’ll know soon.” you knew it was a lie, he did too. but what if one day it wasn’t? what if one of these days he really did mean it? you could get intoxicated off of that feeling, fulfilling his every request for a bit of attention. there was nothing you wouldn’t do to hear “i love you” cascade from that boy’s lips.

        pushing into his house, you see him in a crouching position in front of his couch and, god, was he shivering?

        “rin? what the hell happened?” you said to him. you didn’t yell for fear of breaking the odd calmness he seemed to be in. his reaction to your worried questioning was delayed. his usual cat-eyed stare was almost comically large. 

        “went t’ a party. took ‘sum. don’t feel good,” he managed to slur out. you threw a large knit blanket over his shoulders and sat next to him. “what did you take?”

“a tab.” 

“of what?”

“i don’t know.”

        great. you knew the rest of the people at the party were probably just as high and would be of no help. 

        not knowing what else to do, you moved him to sit on the couch and grabbed a glass of water. it’s not the first time this has happened, and still he never remembers in the morning. every time he’d wake up and find himself in your arms, he’d blame it on the high and take a shower. suna never asked about the money you spent on ibuprofen to make him feel better, or the hours you’d spent soothing his paranoid psyche, or hell, the shower you’d already given him because he’d made a mess of himself. he never knew about the frantic research you did trying to find out how to detoxify whatever drug he managed to find himself on that night. that’s not what matters right now, though. not to him at least.

        “how long ago did you take it?” you asked him. he was sat with his chin resting on his knees, hesitantly taking small sips of water.

“an hour ‘fore i left the party, bout two.”

        was there ever a time he checked on you? did he stay up late wondering if you were safe? he did seem to care some about you... anything physical, he bought for you. he always left you feeling satisfied. was it okay to want more? is that what you deserve? of course it is. you should be with someone who treats you with sincerity. someone who shows your beautiful face off to their friends. someone who when they talk to you, they aren’t-

        you checked your phone. three: twenty-seven. there’s no point in trying to regurgitate it now. his hands were shaky, and lost grip of the plastic cup containing probably his only source of hydration within the last twelve hours.

the loud crash of his cup on the hardwood helped direct you to the true nature of the relationship you found yourself in. the silence of the home as you went to refill his water didn't help either.

        the sudden rush of water falling from the cup onto your hand caused you to jerk you arm back and shut the faucet off. turning around, you’re met with a looming body and a hazy gaze.

        “you’re taking too long,” he commented.

        you set the cup down and looked up at him. you had a right to know what he was thinking, even if it wasn’t clear at the moment.

        “rin…” you whispered. he bore down at you and his eyes sharpened ever so slightly. he must be a bit more cognizant of his surroundings, even better for your question.

            “why do you only call me when you’re high?’

        in your head, it was beautifully executed. the moonlight coming in from the sliding glass door, your enunciation, his careful gaze. christ, it could be straight from a movie.

        suna was a very bad actor. your performance was rewarded with a pile of vomit at your feet and a half passed out man leaning on your shoulder. you guided him back to the couch and laid him on his side, then cleaning up the kitchen. 

       coming back, you find him awake again, lousily sitting on the couch. he at least had washed his face and changed his clothes.

        “i’m cold. come hold me,” he demanded

        you really couldn’t help the smirk on your face. he was so needy when he was like this. obediently, you sat facing suna, and he launched himself on top of you. maybe this is why you stay. it was satisfying feeling needed by a man who wanted for very little. you stroked his dark hair and lightly kissed the shell of his ear. “do you feel any better, sweetheart?” you only call him names when he won’t remember them. sober suna would roll his eyes and ask you to not call him that.

        “you make me feel better.” honesty wasn’t ever a symptom of his current state but hey, you’ll take it.

         in fact, you’ll take full advantage of it. “rin, you’re not going to remember this in the morning, are you?” you knew what the answer was

“...i will.”

        your eyebrows knit together and you pull his face to meet yours. his arms snake their way around your neck, his weight forcing you to lay down. suna shoved his face into the crook of your neck. he breathed out lightly, refusing to meet your eyes.

        “y/n...why are you so good to me?” is he aware of what he’s saying? does this mean he’s remembered every other time and refused to acknowledge it? questioning his integrity might just ruin it, so you only massaged his scalp.

“because i want to rin. you make me happy, and i want to.” a half lie; would he care?

“but you could be happier without me. i dont get it.” 

        “i love you too, ya’ know.” it was a concerningly matter of fact statement, especially from him. “i wish i could show you. you're just so pretty, and smart, and just so... so good. you’re pretty scary, you know that? how am i supposed to be vulnerable with someone like you?" 

         if the ever observant middle blocker couldn’t figure it out, how the hell would you? there’s only so many things you can fully understand.

“because i love you, rintarou.”

you probably shouldn’t have said that, and you knew it. never once had either of you brought up that word. it could easily be the rock to shatter the glass house.

        his soliloquy is almost laughable, it’s only what he knows what you want to hear.

“are you still high?”

“not really. my stomach hurts though. and i’m kinda hungry.”

        he didn’t get up. instead, he asked you to roll over so that you were both lying on your side. 

        you had no idea if he was being truthful. he isn’t exactly one to say i love you so freely. but he knows you are close to leaving. a slightly calloused thumb strokes your cheek and lifts your chin,

“i meant it.”

“no, rin. you didn’t.”

        a look of genuine hurt colored his otherwise bored face. did he really mean it?

        “were you telling the truth?” he asks.

        were you? there wasn’t exactly another explanation for your actions.

        “i think so, yeah.”

        “then so was i.” you thought it was bull, opting to shut him up before he could give you anymore false hope. before you could kiss his face, he beat you to it.

“that’s bullshit, rin.”

        it was tentative, hesitant. he knew you weren’t really convinced. if there was a god, he prayed that they would make his testament of truth pass from his lips to yours. if there was one thing he knew he couldn’t live without, it was you. he would not be able to tie his own shoes if you weren’t there to teach him. but how were you supposed to know that. he fucked up big time, why was he just now realizing it?

“after our first date, i told the whole team i was gonna marry you.”

“the coach too.”

        suna rintarou telling the entirety of ejp about his love life is laughable. you wanted to believe it, really, you did.

        “that doesn’t line up with everything else that’s been going on.”

        “y/n i-i know. i’m sorry. i’ll change.” his pleading was pathetic, to be honest. he’s made those same promises before.

        he was desperate at this point. suna knew he was in the wrong. there had to be a way to save this; he didn’t like seeing you sad, seeing you leave.

        he pulled his phone out, pressing a few buttons here and there. “look!” he said, shoving a new instagram post in your face. it was the only picture he had of the both of you together. he had let you take it. it was a timed photo, facing the two of you in his reading chair. you sat sideways in sunas lap, and your arms were tightly wrung around his neck. he was looking down at you, and you were pretty sure (you hope) he was smiling a little. the caption of his post was simply a heart.

“that’s just a social media post.”

        there was that word again. he looked like he was about to cry and there was emotion in his voice, could he really be lying? 

“baby please. i’m serious. i’ll do anything."

the usual flat tone of his monotone voice began to have some melody to it. against his own will, it was shaky, trying to find the best words to sing.

"i’ll take you out every day, a-and i’ll get you front seat tickets to my game. anything, love, please just don’t leave me.”

        there’s something sweet in a statement that you don’t know the validity of. you can dance around it, pretend it’s true, pretend it’s false. sometimes, you can choose for yourself what tune to dance to. that’s what you’re doing now.

        suna’s large hand was petting your cheekbone, and one of his legs was thrown around your body, imprisoning yourself to his ambiguity. how would you win his approval if you disregarded his one showing of vulnerability?

        “i would never leave you rin. now get the fuck up so we can go to your bed and sleep.”

        his sheets were a pleasant greeting compared to his scratchy couch. he laid flat on his back, pulling you so that half of your body was on his. he slowly leaned toward you, kissing you forehead, nose, cheek, and just about anywhere else he could on your face, finishing with your lips.

        you could definitely tell he was lying about how deep his true lack of sobriety was when he threw you over his shoulder, his bad posture refusing to adjust for the added weight.

 he always knew you cared too deeply about him, but getting see what you did for him when he wasn't supposed to know. it did things to him. his bedroom door was already open, and he jokingly tossed you onto the bed. not enough to hurt you, but enough to convey his desire for a bit more normality. because that's what other couples did, right? he was trying.

“goodnight, y/n. i love you.”

        it was almost instinctual, the way you smiled and chastely pecked his lips. laying your head back down on his chest, you sighed airily.

“i love you too, rintarou.”

[mirrorballls]

* madison bailey, cis woman + she/her | you know malia serrano, right? they’re twenty, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, twelve years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 20 something by sza like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that curly hair precariously tied back with an old bandana, never quite contained, little tattered diary locked shut with care, roots buried deep in the sand, a security blanket by the sea thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 2nd, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

last one i promise.

ok so i. am going to be honest. i have a worm’s brain so i’m going to promise i will message back everyone i’ve left hanging. i love making as much work as possible for myself which is made evident by this being my sixth muse <3

basics.

full name:  malia alexis serrano. birthday:  december 2, 2000. big three:  sagittarius sun. cancer moon. libra rising. sexuality:  bisexual. occupation:  cook at cutie pie’s. neighborhood: lives in her childhood home in delphinus heights.

bio.

malia is an aspiring cook and has a ratatouille style backstory of having a lifelong love and passion for food, so i’m going to issue a general food tw. here up front, for mentions of her emotional attachement to cooking and food, just in case.

death tw.  malia grew up the absolute center of her father’s world. her mother passed away when she was a toddler, before malia even got to know her, and her father took this as a call to action: he was all his daughter had, and he was determined to make sure that was more than enough. and it was.  while there’ll always be part of malia that’s disappointed she’d never had the mother-daughter experience so many of her friends did, she had her dad, who cared about her more than anyone should be allowed to care about a person, and that was enough.

so,  while the start of her life was impacted by a sense of tragedy, for the most part, her childhood was idyllic. when she was eight, she moved in an apartment in delphinus heights that was full with love and music and food ----  lots and lots of food. her father was a chef and, for most of her life, the owner of what he swore up and down was irving’s first and only truly authentic italian restaurant, terra & mare. being able to open the restaurant is what brought them to irving in the first place. overall, food was a huge part of their household: it was the job that kept the lights on, little treats for breakfast and dessert were a love language, and cooking dinner together every night was their daily routine. it’s one of her favorite childhood memories, and something that definitely left an impression on her.

her father had no problem letting her pitch in around the restaurant. she started waitressing when she was fourteen and after a few years of putting her time in upfront, he let her back into the kitchen with the big dogs. she did mostly prepwork, but she loved the electricity of the kitchen: getting to hear orders come in, the little dance they all did to make do with what limited space they had, and watching plates go out, a little work of collective art just waiting to be eaten. she wanted to carry on the family business, step up into her father’s footsteps as head chef one day. she wanted to keep the feeling of being apart of that kitchen team forever.

in her personal life, things kept that magical tone, for the most part. because she was the apple of her father’s eye, he tried to shelter her from as much as possible. thorough high school, she was just a fun, nice person to be around because she was just a genuinely very happy person. the biggest rebellion she had was the week her father first floated the idea of dating again past her, because she was very protective of their little thing, but in the end, they worked it out and within a few years she ended up with a step-mom she gets along just fine with. 

but one day, all that magic fun idealism had to end. her junior year of high school, as she started wide-eye scanning the pamphlets of any culinary school in a hundred mile radius, the rug was pulled out from under the serrano’s. her father had never mentioned it to her, as not to worry her, but the family had gone bankrupt trying to keep terra & mare afloat. the restaurant would close, college was likely not an option for her anymore, and her father had worked himself near ragged trying to keep it all afloat, only exasperating issues he’d already had with a bad knee and high blood pressure.

all at once, malia’s world kind of came crashing in on her. she couldn’t hold it against her father, for the most part, because he was only trying to make what she had left of her childhood was carefree. but she wished she had a little warning for how abrupt the rug would be pulled out from under her feet, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t help anything to hold it against him. 

since she graduated, it’s just kind of been a game of putting her nose to the grindstone and hoping for the best. she’s trying to get back to that sense of security she once had, but it’s hard. to go from this picture perfect, for what it was, life to a sense of panic that she’ll be helping her dad dig himself out of this hole for a while, putting her dreams on hold in the long run, has been an adjustment.

instead of going off to school, she started working as many hours as she can at cutie pie’s and taking odd jobs here and there to try and pull it together. she’s still got her big plans: in a perfect world, one day, she’ll bring back terra & mare, but she’ll settle for any kitchen that allows her to play around a little more than burgers and fries.

connections

malia is an advocate for the gig economy. please fucking hire her. yardwork, babysitting, helping you clean your closet, it’s well known she’s down to just about anything (dont be gross.) for a decent rate.

besties!!! i imagine malia to be a historically really social person who’d have accumulated plenty of friends in her lifetime in irving.

maybe a step-sibling?? if u could see ur muses step-dad being an older italian-american gentleman who will not shut up about how much he hates fast casual dining, perhaps he’s the guy for u

im so bad at listing these out but. like i said i’m going to make a whole day of responding to plotting messages and getting things in place not just for my new muses but the old ones we are going to get some plotting done okay go team irvinghq

[genshin-djinn]

genshin impact: how I feel so far

I’ve just finished the prologue! Here are all of my thoughts on Genshin Impact thus far presented in a very confusing and non- linear manner.

My first and most resounding opinion on this game is that it’s amazing. The graphics are insane— the lighting, the weather, clouds passing by. All of the characters have designs so ridiculous it’s hard for me to draw them and it makes me feel like the game is just flaunting the flawless animation of all these characters’ extremely convoluted designs.

places

I love the locations sO mUCH. My favorite places so far are the two major cities— Mondstadt is just so cheery and fits the vibe of the early game (by early game I mean the dvalin quest line). It’s presented as large but in a very linear manner that you learn quite quickly. It has plenty of places to buy stuff from and just genuinely feels like a cheerful, bustling, fantasy city. fantastic and I’m in love. Liyue Harbor is presented in a completely different architectural style and it’s excellent. Mondstadt makes me feel safe, Liyue Harbor makes me feel like I’m in a wild metropolitan center.

And importantly, both of these cities feel genuinely alive. All the romantic hullabaloo in Mondstadt, Yi Zhu trying to cheer up his little sister Yi Xian after their mother’s death, the mysterious locked door in Mondstadt, Anna making wishes to recover from her illness at the well and her brother going there at night to collect all the coins so he can pay for her medication.

Besides the main cities my other favorite location has been Qingce village. The walk over to it is very nice and the town has an incredible vibe with the scale- like terraced fields. And even beyond that, the town is filled with old citizens and children— showing how all of the young adults in the town have left and decided to try to find a new and more exciting life in Liyue Harbor.

I’m having a hard time thinking of something I don’t like about the locations and honestly I’m drawing a blank. I really love all the set design/ map design. I know I will never finish that “collect every geoculus and anemoculus” quest because that’s just not the kind of dedication I have to this game (unless I get really stuck at an adventure level, though.... then things are a wild card.)

adventure ranks

this is my biggest problem with Genshin Impact.

You can’t progress the main quest (which honestly I enjoy more than a lot of the side quest because of my sheer attachment to these characters and their stories, which I’ll talk more about later) until you hit a certain adventure rank. And it’s a real pain getting them. I’m the type of person who gets freaked out when fighting a level 1 ruin guard with a set of level 39 characters and an inventory full of honey chickens. I do sometimes go into this state of bloodlust when fighting hillichurls and I feel like actually seeking out their camps to return them to dust myself but then I find one of them dudes with a shield and remember that my one pyro unit is amber and uhh.... that feeling goes away real fast.

I hope that the game does what they did with adventure ranks 18-20 more often— my next quest in Liyue is locked until rank 23 (I am not looking forward to increasing my world level can I please just play on easy difficulty until forever) but I get this cool new Darknight Hero quest that I’ve been looking forward to to tide me over until I hit level 21 and can go on another bookworm date with Lisa. Yes, spacing out the main quest line is okay, but I really like having a lot of side quests in between as well so I can gain adventure ranks organically rather than specifically hunting for geo/ anemoculi.

characters

I love the characters in this game maybe as much as I love the locations in this game. Maybe more.

My favorite character is Kaeya because I am a sap for antiheroes with attitude problems. More on him later.

I’ve also become very attached to Amber. She’s just such a positive soul and she so genuinely wants to do what’s right and she’s so useful for lighting things on fire which is something I do not have any other character to do (holding out for Xiangling at level 20....). But she’s just not a great character fighting wise. She takes a while to load arrows and they aren’t super useful compared to any of the other seven characters I own. But she can light stuff on fire and I don’t have anyone else to do that so she must remain on my team for the time being.

next up is Lisa. I like Lisa. I know she’s there for the perverts who want to see anime women’s chests but I genuinely do like her. Her personality is, well, very different from all the other characters’ and I kind of like her constant over the top- ness. Her ability is useful but I switched her out for Chongyun in my team and I can’t bring myself to get rid of Aether or Kaeya yet.

I rolled Xingqiu, Beidou, and Noelle but haven’t used them much. All I know about them is “water bookworm young master whos closet good at fighting”, “pirate who stopped me from getting that fecking file folder I was trying to get”, and “maid whose voice I like in the english and Japanese version”. (Side note, I mainly use the Japanese voiceovers because I prefer them. Downside is I sometimes can’t understand a word the characters are saying but it’s worth it for the voice actors)

I also got Chongyun who seems like a nice boy. I rolled him after I started playing with Japanese voiceovers, though, so I don’t understand most of his idle dialogue. All I really know about him is that he’s super positive and he loves ice cream and that’s good enough for me

Next up is my somewhat problematic fave Kaeya. It’s morally bad that you can’t tell whether he’s lying or telling the truth but all it does is make me like him better as a character. I can 100% see why he’s paired up with Jean and Amber as the most visible characters in power in the Knights of Favonius— they all sort of fulfill different roles. I really want to see more of him in the main plot, not when he’s lying about his grandpa hiding pirate treasure. Also we know nothing about his real motivations and actual past besides “diluc’s step brother, maybe like saw diluc kill his dad or like saw diluc upset after his dad was killed wE dOnT kNow”. and I want to know.

Can’t talk about Kaeya without talkin about his bro Diluc. I can’t wait to see him in this next quest line. I really want Diluc on my team. Same with Jean. That is all.

Penultimately I’m gonna talk about my personal favorite god of freedom whose powers just got stolen, maybe god, definite good bard Venti. I really like Venti. He’s got a lot of charm and he just fits perfectly as the easygoing free god of Mondstadt. I started yelling when that signora gal nabbed him. don’t worry venti we will kill her for you

Annnnd finally here’s my opinions on Aether (I chose him to be my protagonist) and Lumine (the Princess, I think). I do kinda enjoy them. They’re a bit of the typical blank protagonist type (can be sassy, can be cruel, can be honest, can be kind) but Lumine’s dark turn is just fascinating and I want to learn more about their relationship and how it’s changed since they were separated. Where even is Lumine? What will Aether do when he learns that his entire purpose in life has been in charge of the ones who’ve been hurting his new friends? It sounds like a fascinating situation.

(also Venti refers to Lumine as Aether’s “imouto”/ little sister— does he call Aether Lumine’s “otouto”/ little brother if you chose Lumine as your protag? which twin is older? is it determined by your choice of protagonist? hmmm)

least favorite things

Besides my problems with adventure rank, I have two other main issues with Genshin Impact.

Firstly, basically all of the female characters are dressed in outfits that seem designed to show as much skin as possible.

annnd secondly it’s extremely difficult to roll five star characters (Jean, Venti, Diluc) without paying money. this is a good way for the company to make cash but it’s also kind of annoying.

wrap- up

Ok! Those are all my main thoughts for now, at the end of the prologue and before chapter 1! I’m off to play the darknight hero quest (probably gonna post some of my mishaps here too). also I want more primogems we should be able to pet dogs npcs excitement bye

[swynlake-spill]

Screw Robinson’s ranking. What’s your ranking of the secondary students?

Oooooo yes, I think it’s about time we get a more objective point of view around here don’t we? Now, my sources tell me that the Ashleys’ ranking system was based on a combination of style, looks, and...personality or cool points or something like that. I’m assuming that Wilbur is using about the same system and so I will honor it, but I’ll add it all up to a score out of 30 in the end! 

also this took so long will someone please venmo me a quid for coffee or something 

Bae “Nemo” Nam-min

Looks: 8/10 he’s legit hottie when he actually puts effort in 

Style: 4/10 leaves MUCH to be desired. He has two looks-- sweatpants or skinny jeans. With a friend like Finn, you’d think he’d be more educated

Personality: 7/10 He’s very easy to be friends with, but an airhead and drama magnet. Don’t be fooled by the smile-- he’s more trouble than he looks!

Overall score: 19/30, or about a 6.33 on the old scale. 

Ferbs Fletcher

Looks: 9/10 LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS. points off for hair rip 

Style: 4/10 why are all men fashion-challenged, why are all boys addicted to the skinny 

Personality: 5/10 I honestly don’t know what to make out of Ferb b/c he’s more of a tall, mysterious type, so I’m giving him a very neutral score here. If he opened his mouth more, I might like him less. 

Overall score: 18/30! 6 even! 

Mei Kusakabe 

Looks: 8/10 EEEE she’s a real cutie with serious selfie game! 

Style: 9/10 As you all know, I’m super obsessed with her look! Point deducted for those misses, which are SERIOUS misses. Miss Mei needs to float some of those looks past a panel before strutting into school and embarrassing herself. 

Personality: 6/10 Here’s where she’s losing points and it’s because she talks to ghosts. Mei! Ignore them, jfc! Save it for your free time! 

Overall score: 23/30-- a 7.6! 

Jack-Jack Parr

Looks: 5/10 oh boy does JJ Parr need an intervention. I just don’t understand why so many boys’ mothers don’t teach them how to properly care for their hair. Honey, you need to be using a special shampoo and a mousse for those curls!! ldsajflk let me help you 

Style: 2/10 ooooh boy does JJ Par need an invention. Everything he wears looks like hand-me-downs from Dash. It was cool when Dash wore it... several years ago! 

Personality: 6/10 I think he’s funny! He’s nice! He’s um, creative! Like if I went to secondary and got paired with him on a group project, I would absolutely be doing most of the work but at least he’d probably try. Maybe? Well. I could think of people who I would want to work with less.  

Overall score: 14/30 --4.6! 

Su Qin

Looks: 7/10. My problem here has everything to do with the weird staring thing. We all know the weird staring thing. None of us like the weird staring thing. 

Style: 7/10. I like her style as I’ve said before! I think she’s super unique, but I also think she could go just that extra step further. 

Personality: 2/10. Oh honey. I hate having to score you so low, but right now your personality is if Mei’s personality was a sandwich, you’d be the crusts that no one wants to eat. 

Overall score: 16/30-- 5.3 

Brandon “Barrel” Adamson

Looks: 5/10. PLEASE CUT UR HAIR CUT UR HAIR CUT UR HAIR. There’s a cute boy under there somewhere! 

Style: 2/10 Barrel knows one colour and that colour is black. His clothes also don’t seem to fit him very well. Hey Wilbur, can you do something about this?

Personality: 2/10. It’s only fair to give him a similar score as Su, since they like each other so much. He is also the leftover crusts to Lock’s personality sandwich. 

Overall score: 9/30-- a 3. Ouch. 

Romeo “Roo” DeRosa

Looks: 8/10. He is extremely good-looking! Like that’s a smile that is doing him every favour in the world. I can certainly see why he lured an Ashley in. 

Style: 6/10. ugh all these teenage boys exhaust me with their lack of style why even bother having this as a category. what kills me is Roo’s shoes are never clean, like they’re caked with mud. Wash off your shoes!! 

Personality: 8/10. I have almost no complaints with Romeo. He’s a sweet boy, he’s hardworking, he’s funny and even talented! I also think he’s kind of gullible...might even go with stupid. You’d have to be to knock up Ashley A. 

Overall score: 22/30-- 7.3! 

Finn Flounder

Looks: 9/10 hELLO face personally i dont understand why we have not talked about Finn’s face sooner and also more, like we just have dedicated Finn Face Appreciation Time, like, I’m talking artistically speaking is anyone else with me or

Style: 10/10 Colour! Variety! Texture! Pattern! Finn knows how to pick a concept and nail it, and he makes so much of his own clothes! 

Personality: 1/10 oh right this is why we don’t talk about his face, it’s because his personality is the equivalent of the puddle of water you squeeze out of a dishrag. He is such a sweet boy with no spine whatsoever. It drive me CRaZY.

Overall score: 20/30-- 6.6 

Phineas Flynn

Looks: 7/10. He is cute! He has a perfectly pleasant face with nice features. He is tall, though not as tall as Ferb. He looks, in a word, harmless. 

Style: 5/10. Once again, he looks like his mother dresses him, and I mean sometimes that’s a blessing because who knows what he’d look like if his mother didn’t dress him, but way to look like 95% of the teenage male population. 

Personality: 6/10. Phineas is charming, but only if you talk to him for about 20 minutes. After twenty minutes, there’s this quality in his voice that will worm inside your head and get stuck there. It’s like nails on the chalkboard. Once you hit forty minutes, you’ll realize he’s still talking (though you haven’t said anything in over twenty minutes), and that he really loves to hear himself talk so then it just becomes an exercise in watching Phineas impress himself. 

Overall score: 18/30--6, like his brother. Appropriate! 

Haley Long

Looks: 8/10. She’s hella cute! She’s got to be, sharing the genes of one hottie Jake Long! 

Style: 8/10. She’s got the whole ‘am i gay’ vibe going for her, which I love. I love when I can’t tell, when it’s like, does she like flannel, or is an avid fan of Lost Girl? She went with Ashley A to prom, so I mean we know she’s at least a LITTLE wlw--I’m getting off track, the point is, I’m into her masculine-feminine energies. 

Personality: 5/10. Hayley confuses me. Like, on one hand--she went to prom with Ashley A so maybe she’s an insane person. On the other hand, she ended up with Vee at the end of prom, so maybe...oh yeah, she’s still an insane person. She feels unpredictable, and maybe in a good way, but also maybe I need to run for my life. Haven’t decided! 

Overall score: 21/30-- 7! 

Dewford “Dewey” Mallard

Looks: 5/10. The Mallard boys are very interesting looking to me, like they have some of the most beautiful hair in Secondary but they prove time and time again they have absolutely no idea what to do with it. They’re also tall, but so skinny, like slendermen. Would like to enroll them all in a zumba class, maybe even yoga. 

Style: 5/10. I’ll be honest, my eyes glaze over when I look at Dewey/Huey b/c the only difference between them is the general colour scheme. I like that they do TRY for some individuality. 

Personality: 4/10. Dewey is...quiet. And weird. And alone a lot. He actually concerns me a little bit, like is he okay...? It’s not really my job to know, but it should be someone’s! 

Overall score: 14/30-- 4.6 

Hubert “Huey” Mallard

Looks: 5/10 please see above 

Style: 5/10 please see above

Personality: 8/10. I like to think of Huey as the capable, family-friendly Mallard. He’s like a glass of milk with a chocolate biscuit. Everyone likes it, even if it’s not everyone’s favourite dessert. I mean, he’s smart, interesting, he has a wide group of friends! If I had to choose anyone to be put on a group project with, it would be Huey Mallard 

Overall score: 18/30-- 6!  

Llewellyn “Louie” Mallard

Looks: 5/10. u know what to do 

Style: 7/10. GASP. Yes! A decent score! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Louie tries to have a unique style. He experiments, he’s not scared of looking like an idiot--he often looks like an idiot-- but he at least intrigues me. And next to so many boys who literally don’t know what they’re doing, he really stands out from the pack. 

Personality: 6/10. While Huey is family-friendly, Louie is an acquired taste. You might really like all those wacky Louie antics, or maybe you’re allergic! He’s definitely trouble all the way around, so my personal opinion is that he’s best in small doses.

Overall score: 18/30-- 6! 

Moon Yeongtae

Looks: 7/10. He pisses me off actually because he’s genuinely quite a handsome boy who is genuinely trying to look as un-handsome as possible. I should put this way lower out of sheer spite, but I want to encourage the rest of the teen population to exercise because at least Tae has that going for himself. Take the Mallards to the gym, Tae!

Style: 3/10. He also only knows the colour black and I think I’ve seen him in jeans three times in my life. I’ve never seen a boy so dedicated to sweatpants as a personality trait

Personality: 5/10. Speaking of personality, sweatpants isnt a personality trait! What’s his other personality trait? Arguing with people? Grunting? 

Overall score: 15/30-- 5. 

Pearl Park 

Looks: 10/10. YES our first perfect score! But is there any question when you have a face like that? Just check out her insta. The likes speak for themselves. She’s GLOWING, she’s RADIANT, she’s going to bring this school to its knees

Style: 8/10. Obviously she has more style than 80 percent of this list. It’s only this low because we haven’t seen her full potential yet, or so I like to think. She’s playing it very safe, even if she’s playing it in her own league. I would like to see her push the envelope!

Personality: 7/10. Once again, this is low because we are still getting to know the alluring Miss Park. She seems to be super nice! No enemies yet. But I know there’s something spicy hiding under all the new girl niceties. I would also like to see it! 

Overall score: 25/30-- 8.3

Pip Seville

Looks: 7/10. Personally, I like he’s adorable! He might not be topping any Most Handsome Buzzfeed lists anytime soon nor is he anyone’s secret crush but we love a boy who had good hygiene and perfect skin! 

Style: 9/10. Yes yes yes!!! He might be a theatre kid cliche, but I’ll take one of those over another awful pair of joggers! Pip would never wear all black unless he’s in tech rehearsal, and we respect that. 

Personality: 6/10. Soooo he’s pretty loud and a bit of a risk, like if you partnered with him on a school project, the odds of you getting an A are very high, but the odds of you crying by the end of it because you didn’t meet his expectations are also very high. So you know....take your chances. 

Overall score: 23/30-- 7.6! 

Wilbur Robinson

Looks: 8/10. Well OBVIOUSly Wilbur is a hottie. Did I deduct points for his new hair. Maybe I did. 

Style: 9/10. FINALLYYYY Yet another boy who can dress and dress well! It helps that he can afford nice things of course, but you also have to know how to WEAR the nice things, and Wilbur does. 

Personality: 7/10. Wilbur is funny, opinionated, stubborn, a go-getter, generous, and these days, even charitable (those are two different things). Does Wilbur have flaws? Sure. But from what I’ve seen in my ask box, people can’t decide what those flaws are. Is he ... too nice? No wait, he’s actually too mean! He’s an asshole, oh wait, he’s a simp for Barrel. Bla bla bla. Point is, if you add everything up, he’s a decent dude. I don’t agree with all his choices, but I’d also rather hang out with Wilbur than most people on this list! 

Overall score: 24/30-- an 8! 

Ariel Triton

Looks: 4/10. Boy did the Tritons really mess it up on this one!! I love the pixie cut, but Ariel always lets it grow too long and doesn’t keep up with it. It’s like at this point just shave your head-- tbh, i bet you’d look pretty good. 

Style: 4/10. BOY of all the girls she really has no idea what she’s doing either. I admire Alana and Adella deeply for letting Ariel find herself in her own time. I’m just hoping it’s going to work out at this point, maybe we’ll transition from Dumpster Girl to punk rock when they actually get the band going. 

Personality: 6/10. You know, I have a healthy level of respect for Ariel. Some people will say she is too fightey, but she stands up for her friends and her beliefs! I’m into that. I mean, she’s usually wrong, but at least she has conviction. 

Overall score: 14/30-- 4.6 

[lemoneyesour]

This is going to be long af, this isn’t the whole tea I didn’t want this rant to be too long.

I think the hardest part about being a Libra is learning that I’m not always going to be able to explain my side of situations to people. There are always two sides to a story and sometimes the wrong side is louder. I have to learn to be content with the fact people will perceive me differently because of the words of another.

That sometimes people will dislike me without knowing me. Sometimes it’s better just to be quiet. And since you decided to make our personal affair public in order to gain the sympathy from other and reassurance that you a “good person”. I’ll voice my side of things too, but I choose to do it on a platform where no one know who tf I am, and most likely only 1 person will read this.

Back in December I found out some troubling news and I was lost. My friend lent me $100 to help me out with it (I’m pretty sure she offered the money but I don’t 100% remember) I accepted because she was genuine about it and I figured why not. After everything got taken care of, I became a little distant. I was unemployed, stressed about money and just started a new relationship. I didn’t speak to her as much as I had before. When she reacted out to talk I would reply until I felt the conversation naturally died down. So a lot of times that meant I left her on read after a little bit of talking.

One day she reached out to me and showed her concern. She missed me and wanting to hangout. I told her my situation and that I needed time to heal. When I go through a stressful patch, I like to be alone a lot of the time to self reflect. She told me she unstood and then that would be enough until she would message me saying the exact some things she did last time. I was patient and calm with her.

I was very frustrated because I had even more money problems, I was unable to pay my car insurance which led to my license being suspended. I was unaware that it was suspended so I naturally get Pulled over by a cop because I didn’t have my lights on when it was cloudy. He informed me my insurance wasn’t valid and my license was suspended. So I got a ticket of $160, had to pay off my backed insurance and buy new insurance. Then I had to pay $150 to get my license reinstated. Which I had to paid for two paychecks to do, so I had to get rides from coworkers to work for three weeks, I was late to work serveral times. Then my phone broke, I didn’t have one for a week. So a lot of times I was unable to call my job ahead of time to tell them I was going to be late. While also dealing with bills, stress and the same situation happening AGAIN that caused me to borrow money in the first place.

One day she messages me about how I “obviously do not want to be friends with her and I could have just said something about it instead of ignoring her and that she needs to know when I will pay her back.” She sent messages like this a couple more times, honestly her passive aggressive comments and inability to see the situation wasn’t about her, but rather me and my mental state, made me not want to hangout with her... I didn’t like how she was manipulating things. I decided to open up to her about everything that happened to be in the last month. Maybe if I tell her specifics she will be more understanding. I am kinda private about these things.

So I could try to give her $20 a paycheck Until it’s paid off. I told her how I was mentally drained and couldn’t really carry on a conversation with anyone let alone make the time to hangout. I tried my hardest to express to her that i wasn’t avoiding her, that I simply needed space. My best friend of 8 years randomly stopped talking to me and never explained why, so I understand how it feels to be left In the dark or feel abandoned by someone you love. She told me she understood and hoped I was well.

After about a month, all my bills where paid off, I got my car situation fixed, I was feeling better mentally, I was ready to open up again and hangout. Then I got a message from her saying (this is the exact message)

“OK so I’ve given you six months, and you’ve not really tried to be friends with me or talked to me, so I’m just guessing you do not want to be friends. I understand having to work on yourself but fuck Hannah. I’d rather you just be honest with me. At this point I just need the money for my medicine for my face, plus my car payment. So please get back with me as soon as possible.”

At this time it had only been 4 months, not that it really matters. I had been nothing but honest with her over the last couple of months. I wanted her to feel validated and reassured about my feelings. I explained my side again and even showed her where I had explained it all to her before (she stated I could have just told her things where tough, and she would have understood. I LITERALLY DID 3 TIMES) she replied with “I don’t give a fuck about that lame ass conversation, I want my money”

That’s when I realized it wasn’t about our friendship to begin with, all she cared about was the money. If you aren’t talking about something that is upsetting you, you don’t just randomly blow up on someone one day. (In this situation being if she really missed me, then why did you change tone so quickly and start using the money against me??)

I told her I had no idea me not posting her back when I said I would (because things went to shit so quickly after I told her that) would anger her this much and cause problems in our friendship. I didn’t know money was that important to her. (I know it’s money but to me lending someone money isn’t a big deal. I don’t lend someone money with the expectation of them paying me back because we are friends)

She never communicated that to me.

At this point I was going to pay her back, but when she started coming at me I got mad. When I get mad I get petty. So I just didn’t pat her back, and I know that was peak lt childish.

All she does it talk about how she gets fucked over all the time, or how she is such a great person or friend. Even in our arguments she kept stating that. IF UR A GOOD PERSON U DONT NEED PEOPLE REASURRING YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA ALL THE TIMEE. I can’t stand immature adults who can’t understand their friends are their own people and they have lives. I don’t always reply to my friends and my friends don’t always reply to me, in my eyes we are friends until one day we tell each other we aren’t. I don’t care if we haven’t talked In year. I guess that’s what I get for befriending a insecure, emotionally underdeveloped paranoid doo doo head.

So the reason I’m posting this is because she reached out to me AGAIN. Demanding I pay her back and then proceeded to make a status about me on Facebook so everyone knew what had happened. I was able to actually talk to her again, express what had actually happened. But come more from a sympathetic approach. Maybe if I do that she will actually be willing to listen to what I had to say. It worked and we sort of patched things up. But she left the status up, she wanted people to know she was hurt and there was a big meanie out there who had her $100. (FYI I haven’t had a job in two minutes this because of COVID and $100 isn’t shit. Sorry it’s not, she’s made that money back so many times now. She’s just trying to get me with whatever leverage she has) 

One thing I can’t stand is having people force feed a biased narrative of my character. They don’t know the other side, and they probably never will. They will only see me as a lair, user, theift. It hurts

I know I didn’t handle the best way possible, but she isn’t as blameless as she is leading people to believe

If anyone actually read all of this and you want to know the rest I’ll definitely tell it 😂



[toxikbubblegum]

May Reading Wrap Up

I'm actually really proud of myself. I finished 13 books last month. Spent a lot of extra time away from screens and focusing on my mental health so I burned through way more than I normally would. So anyways, here's my reviews. - Also please understand that these are just my opinions and if I shit on your favorite book I'm sorry that I didn't enjoy it as much as you. Also, also Im terrible with character names.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐

I actually started this book at the end of April but didn't finish it til May 1st so whatever, here it is. This books is a YA urban fantasy novel about a girl with a double life. She spends half her days studying art in Europe and the other half running errands for a tooth collecting wish monger. I don't want to say a whole lot more because I dont want to spoil anything important about the plot. So, I'll try to be vague. Let me start by saying this story is amazing. I loved the writing and the world. I rated it so low solely because I can't stand the two main characters and it really dragged down what would have otherwise been an amazing novel. So yeah, great book but its a preference thing. Also took points off for the insta-love but not really insta-love shit. Idk. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this read even a month later. Gonna read the second to see if maybe my hatred of the two mains was just a fluke.

3/5 Stars

Spellbound by Rachel Hawkins

⭐⭐⭐

This is the third book in the Hex Hall trilogy. Not much to say about it. It was a meh ending to an overall pretty good series. 3/5 stars. Moving on.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

⭐⭐⭐

Realizing now how many of my reads this month were pretty middle of the world. Hopefully next month will be filled with 4 and 5 stars. Anyways, this book was honestly a struggle for me to finish and Im not sure why. It's a YA mystery magical realism story about a tiny coastal town that is cursed by the spirits of 3 sisters who were suspected of witchcraft and drowned 2 centuries prior. Because of this, every year the sisters return from the sea to take the lives of teenage boys by luring them to the sea. We follow the life of kind of meh and standard YA girl #1. She meets a strange non tourist boy and hires him to work in the lighthouse her family owns. Her dad randomly disappeared years ago and her mom is a loon. So yeah... I dont know. I kind of felt like this story was hot garbage in places. I usually dont have any trouble with the suspense of disbelief in magical realism stories but this one just had too many plot holes. Like, I get morbid stuff becomes tourist attractions but why wouldn't someone have stepped in and evacuated the town if at least 3 teenage boys die there EVERY SINGLE YEAR without fail? I honestly feel like the FBI or some other government agency would have cleared the place out after the first 20 or so deaths. There was also the whole MC can see the ghosts of the girls possessing people but chooses not to tell anyone? Like, I get it. You dont want people to label you a freak or think you're crazy but come the fuck on. You live in a tourist trap where people flock to watch local teenage males wash up on shore and you really think the authorities arent going to take you up on the help? It wasn't an awful book by any means. It was well written and extremely descriptive. Just had major beef with some of the details. Anyways, I wont say much more so I don't spoil the whole book.

3/5 Stars

An Enchantment of Ravens by Maragret Rogerson

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Finally, I get to talk about one of my favorite reads of the month. I love anything to do with the Fae in my YAfiction and this was literally everything I wanted in a Fae novel. It takes place in a town called Whimsy, a humanish town in the world of Faerie. The fae cannot do any Craft, or what we would consider craftsmanship. Art and humans who can do it well are very precious in this world because the Fae can't ever do it themselves. We follow the adventures of a girl who has been commisioned to paint the portrait of the Autumn King and the chaos that ensues. Let me just start by saying this is one of those insta-love situations where I feel like it's genuinely ok. I might be making excuses because I loved the title so much but whatever. It's explained and I accept it. Also, I realize that Gadfly had a lovely description but my brain willl not let me picture him as anything but Mr.Waternoose from Monsters Inc.

5/5 Stars

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

⭐⭐⭐

This book started out so good and went downhill very quickly. It follows the story of these two magicians who were fated by their Master's to one day fight to the death. There were so many things I loved about this book only for the last 100 pages to just take a firey dump on my face. I loved the setting and the majority of the characters. The supporting characters were so deep and interesting that I almost cared more about them than I did Ceilia and Marko (Im proabably wrong and I dont feel like googling but I think that was his name) . I don't know. I don't want to complain about anymore meh books.

3/5 Stars

Matched by Allie Condie

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Went into this book expecting to hate it. I usually don't like contemporary love stories but this had major City of Ember meets The Giver vibes and it just appealed to that 14 year old girl in me again. That seems to happen with a lot of dystopian utopia stories. Anyways, story is about a girl who lives in this town where when you hit a certain age you are brought to a place and told who the government has chosen for you to marry. She is matched with her life long best friend and all is well. Except that her little Get To Know Your New Husband microship thing showed her two guys instead of just one. And lots of bullshit ensues. I honestly think I rated this so high because I enjoy the world and not so much whats actually happening to the kids. Like, I loved the idea that art is harmful so the government chose 100 acceptable pieces and thats all these people know. I loved the brutality of the government in general. I can't say much more without spoiling some of the twists but geez did it have me hooked. I'm going to be started the second one soonish, though my TBR for June has gotten intense so we will see.

4/5 stars

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I cannot say enough good things about this book. It is so fucking good! Not going to rant about it or anything because y'all just need to go read it immediately.

5/5 stars

Would give it every star in the sky if Im being completely honest.

Reign of the Fallen by Sarah Glenn Marsh

⭐⭐

Got sucked into this book by the cover and honestly that was the best part of this book. Its about this world where necromancy is pretty highly regarded and used to resurrect the royals after they die. The only downside is that if a living person ever lays eyes on the resurrected person's skin then they turn into these horrible monsters. Maybe it's just me but like that absolutely does not seem worth the risk. Plus, in order to bring the person back, these reapers have to go into the death world and bring the spirit back. And it's HELLA DANGEROUS. So like, WHY? Anyways, there is this stupid underlying love story that I absolutely wasn't invested in. This just all around was not a good book.

2/5 stars

Monster High by Lisi Harrison

⭐⭐

Little known fact~ I'm obsessed with Monster High and Ever After High. So yeah, I realize this wasn't targeted to me as an adult but even going into it with an open mind I was disappointed. Granted I didn't read the description of the book prior. I just saw this franchise I love and grabbed it. First, if you are a fan of the mini series and the movies do not read this. It doesnt follow the cinematic canon and I think that was my biggest problem with it. Frankie's character was all wrong and I hated the whole"Normy" cast. Was really excited for these but I definitely won't be continuing the series. I don't even want to torture myself with seeing how they manage to ruin my sweet baby Draculara.

2/5 stars

Unhinged by AG Howard

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I can't say enough good things about this series. This is the second book in the trilogy and it was a fanatstic bridge book. It had me engrossed through the entire audiobook. Morpheus is still everything. If you loved Splintered I would highly reccomend continuing.

5/5 stars

Truthwitch

⭐⭐

Have had this on my TBR for a while because of how many Booktubers have hyped the series. Buy, was I disappointed. I was soooooooooo bored. Maybe it's because I don't really enjoy this type of fantasy or maybe it was just the slower paced story but I just slugged through this book. Both of the main female characters were bland to me and I didn't care about their friendship. The world was cool but not enough to keep me invested. Just wasn't my cup of tea.

2/5 stars

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White

⭐⭐⭐

Picked this up because of how much I loved The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein and it didn't meet my expectations. It follows this girl who works for a paranormal gorvenment group. She has a special ability that makes her really useful to them so they are trying to groom her basically. They capture this changeling and she befriends him and there is an overarching plot that I just didn't get invested in. The friendship between the two main characters was pretty much the only thing that I enjoyed in this title. The mother figure was insufferable and I just didn't really understand the whole org that they worked for in general. Not an awful book but not fantastic.

Solid 3/5 stars.

The Siren by Kiera Cass

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Going to preface this by saying I might be biased. I love Kiera Cass and have enjoyed almost everything she has written. That said, this wasn't nearly as good as The Selection series but it was a pretty good stand alone novel. It about a girl who becomes a siren on her deathbed and spends the next 100 years serving the sea by luring people to their deaths. After doing this for 70 years, she falls in love and pretty much ruins everything. Loved the characters, especially the male lead. The insta love was a little pet peeve of mine but the love interest was so sweet and genuine that I was willing to overlook it. Pretty good read if you dig supernatural romance.

4/5 stars

June holds the Ghibli-a-thon but also lots of holidays for my family so we will see how much I actually get read. So far my tentative TBR is 5 books but we will see where the days take me.

[suenala]

BTS-story ; well, here i am.

episode 4 ; 'she's cocky.'

prev. < tsilretsam

[genre] ; fluff

[fandom] ; 방탄소년단

[⚠] ; cuss must bust

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Fee: "Hey yn," -she talks from behind her locker door-

Yn: "Hm?" -i start changing my clothes and shoving everything into my duffle bag and then shoving THAT into my locker-

Fee: "What's your number?"

Yn: "You have my number...?"

Fee: "No i dont..?"

Yn: "Yes you do...?"

Fee: "Well, tell me, i don't remember then."

Yn: "Oh, fine its 25326-'

Fee: "No you idiot, your fucking number on your tag!" -she doesn't even look at me and smacks me on the back of my head-

Yn: "Oh, uh..25, how 'bout you?" -i sit on the bench behind me, rubbing my head-

Fee: "Dang, 46."

Yn: "Dang?" -as she finishes up, she turns around towards me and gestures to leave-

Fee: Walk and talk, lets go. Anyway, yeah, i wanted to go sooner."

Yn: "Hm? Why?"

Fee: "I don't know, if i was best, then they'll probably have a hard time judging others, no offense...hehe."

Yn: "Don't they record them? They can always look back to remember."

Fee: "Hm, i guess you are right." -we slowly stop talking as we re-enter the studio. This time the lights and cameras were set up-

We had an half-hour refresh session so everyone and practice. My number was 25 so I had plenty of time to work on my own choreography, they said they will be going by twenty but theres alot of us so...this'll be awhile. 

[Thirty minutes later]

Namjoon: "Okay, i hope everyone's warmed up?"

Everyone: "Yes!"

Namjoon: "Okay, we're going to need the numbers 1-20 to stay please and the rest can exit. After they are done we'll take a 25-minute break and the group next can come in, got it?"

Jin: -whispers- "namjoon.., they aren't dogs.."

Namjoon: "Shut up."

We all exit and sit outside waiting..well some of us, it was like an hour and a half till it was our time but before that, mostly everyone went to other studio rooms to practice or some fell asleep or something but for me and fee just sat there talking. We were actually pretty confident we would make it to the next round but maybe that's just us, i guess a lot of girls need that (confidence) to perform but i felt like maybe something was going to be a bit different.

[Hour and a half later]

Girl 1: "Dude, im so exhausted.."

Girl 2: "i know right? Me too, good job out there by the way." -she wipes her forehead with a towel as she's walking out-

Jhope: "Wow! I was super impressed! You all danced well today!"

Jimin: "I agree, you all must've worked very hard, huh?"

All the boys follow each other out as they bow and hand out water bottles to the girls. We all know damn well that they didn't need it lol maybe its because its from celebrities?

Jhope: "Don't worry, we won't be long!"

Suga: "Hoseok, just go."

They all wave and bow to us as they walked into a break room reserved for them, they're lucky too, that room is one of our biggest and has couches and T.V’s, lots of food and drinks and other stuff. Usually, that would be reserved for the studio staff or VIP members like me but the staff got a smaller one instead.

Every time I saw a teacher walk past the room, they would roll their eyes as their seeing it taken away from them, but you know, sucks to suck.

[25 miNuTeS LaTer]

The next 20 girls walked in and the boys were already there. We all sat against a wall while the first girl went, the boys looked so focused and when they saw something surprising they seemed genuinely impressed. It gave me alot of courage because then maybe i can do something that'll have taken them aback..., thats until I heard people whispering and talking about me, saying things like; “Omg, I totally forgot we were up against yn..”, “Should we just leave now? We have no chance with her here.” etc. To be honest, it gave me some joy that people thought I was intimidating but also it was sad that people put themselves down just cause I was in the competition too, I didn't want to say anything cause I had a feeling that maybe they would think I was being...conceited but really, what should i do? Quit?

Soon enough time passed and it was my turn, I stood there in front of 19 other girls and seven boys, I stretched thoroughly, cracking every bone in my body and gave them my requested song. For my audition i had selected to be in a duo so I called in henry, i wanted to have more people dance with us but ...they wouldn't get credit since they had to do their own dances when it was their turn plus henry wasn't going to audition—he slacks off too much.

They play on the music and once the intro starts— i immediately get a shot of adrenaline into my body. That's the best part of dancing in front of a crowd, the racing heart wanting to blow out of your chest, the massive amounts of energy that come along— i just feel so awake and enliven. Its like dancing is a drug, i can practice hours on end and yeah i can get tired but i can never get tired (you kno'¿ lolol), i crave for the side effects; the sweat, the dehydration. I love it all.

Everyone sits up and starts bobbing their heads to the beat of the song. They've all seen me dance before and i got to say, im not the best but im sure as hell far away from worst. As their all getting ready to watch me go, the boys are also getting interested, they want to see me dance like before or BETTER than before- all that this morning, it was just all practice, surely im better than that.

I move my body to the beat of the intro and we get into position for the first lyric.

[song] ; a.c.e- black and blue

Im in full focus.

I start dancing with a sharp move—my upper half bopping to the sound. One minute in the song and i can feel the burn, im moving as fast as my body can go and making sure that my moves are as sharp as can be. Really, i didnt care if i got selected. When he asked me if ill be participating i was a bit unsure really and when Jimin said i didn't care i just thought, well "we'll see."

I have to admit that even if i dont get picked, this was really fun, this competition. I get to really see what my peers are made of and they get to see me at my fullest.

Yn: -i make contact with jhope and we stare at each other for a while until i wink and blow a kiss, you would think he would be used to it but it seemed like he got flustered a bit-

Jimin: "Isn't she really good?!" -He whispers to the other members-

Jhope: -scoffs- "Tsk, she's cocky." -he mutters-

I can see Jhope writing on the clipboard with a smirk, was he impressed?

The music ends and I stand there for a minute breathing heavily. Henry pats me on the back and bows to everyone as he leaves, I take a deep breath and stand next to the door. All the other girls tell me that i did a good job and said I was amazing but, I look over to the members and their expressions were so...blank? I can't tell if they enjoyed it or not well besides Jimin, he's smiling from ear to ear, at least someone thought it was good, right...?

I end up having eye contact with jhope again and he raises a brow.

Namjoon: "Okay! Good job #25! Next please!"

Another girl goes up and its a much slower paced than what I just danced to, sigh, this will be a long day won't it?

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