#please at least check if there's a wikipedia page about the song

[dirigibleplumbing]

two pet peeves I will never get over

when someone "credits" the lyrics to a song to the person who they first heard record it, without checking whether that song was, for example, a traditional folk song first written down in the 18th century, or, for another example, an African American spiritual

when someone talks about something they know nothing about by parroting phrases they've heard before without examining why these things are said. like, for example, when culturally Christian people who have never read the Torah, let alone a translation of it intended for Jews or historians, talk about the "vengeful Old Testament God [sic]" as if the Christian god is never vengeful or terrifying and the God described in the Torah is never loving and forgiving

[riversimmone]

China Doll

China Doll

RiverOfTheSand

Summary:

AU one-shot. She was begging him to save her, and everyone knew that Sasuke Uchiha was a sucker for a damsel in distress. Warning: mention of rape. Rated mature just in case.

Notes:

Cross-posted from fanfiction.net. Listening to the song 'Chyna Girl' by Sweetbox is what inspired this one-shot originally. It was just going to be a short fic, but later, curiosity led to me checking out the title on Wikipedia (I've only semi-recently discovered Sweetbox but have become addicted). I was directed to the disambiguation 'China Dolls'. Further exploration led to a page on human trafficking in Malaysia. 'China Doll' is a nickname for the women who work in restaurants and hotels in Malaysia, etc, that are forced into the sex trade. So obviously, this is a human trafficking story, and I in no way condone the workings of this industry… that was the first and last disclaimer I've made since joining fanfiction – there's no friggin point to the bloody things, but I felt like it would be wrong if I didn't here. Rated M Please read and review. :)

"If one man cannot change the world, he can at least help others to shape it."

The man left the hotel room happy with himself and fixing the fly on his expensive suit pants, not noticing the adolescent who had accidentally gotten out of the elevator on the wrong level. But despite his mistake, the teenage boy stumbled into the hallway, giggling slightly at a private joke in his head and swaying as he made his way down the corridor. His father owned this hotel, so he had made it a point to procure himself a Master Key as soon as he could after the sale had gone through six months ago. Once a month, Fugaku Uchiha held some stuck up party in the ballroom, entertaining guests and conversing with dignitaries from around the world.

It was boring.

The teenager stopped, looking around suddenly as he tried to focus on his surroundings. He wasn't drunk… was he? No, if he were drunk, he'd be singing and dancing, or possibly sobbing about his mother while hunched over in a corner. Sasuke Uchiha was not a very attractive drunk, which was why he always stopped himself before he'd drunk too much. And tonight was no exception.

Besides, he'd been sneaking what little alcohol he could for the last hour and a half, so it wasn't like he had open access to the bar – he wasn't legal quite yet.

Sasuke inhaled deeply, and groaned. He had yet to start walking again, spinning his Master Key around his forefinger (he'd tied it to a metal loop without the key chain), and trying to remember what he was doing in the hallway. He only came to these parties to hook up – some of those foreign dignitaries had luscious daughters – and he could do so with anonymity. His father still assumed he was a virgin and never bothered to ask if he'd learned the birds and bees, while Itachi… well, Sasuke wasn't sure how much he knew.

Sasuke hiccupped softly, and shook his head. 'What am I doing again?'

Oh, right. He'd never stayed at one of his father's functions for so long before, but the girl had been worth the effort. He wasn't some man-whore – no, Sasuke didn't sleep around – he was incredibly fussy about who he slept with. She had to be someone his father would never meet, or never look twice at, and she had to be able to carry a conversation about something other than this month's issue of Vogue, or what her favourite celebrity was going to stupidly name their newborn.

Sasuke chuckled softly. "Apple… I'll name you Apple!"

Fucking random.

He leant against the wall, vaguely aware that moments before, some strange man had recently exited a room nearby and swaggered over to the elevators at the other end of the hall. From his precarious position against the wall, he spotted the man entering the lift and caught a split second look at the smug face.

'What is he doing up here?'

Sasuke considered for a moment, the possibility that he actually was drunk. He'd been recalling the face of the dark haired girl downstairs that had snuck out of the party first, and… he couldn't remember. He groaned, clutching his head. Suri, her name was Suri. And she was waiting for him in her room… suite 303.

Right.

He pushed off the wall with effort and headed to the door his father had just exited, his mind trying to go to sleep while his body screamed at him. For once, his brain was letting him down, while every instinct in him was telling him that Fugaku had not been up here for anything good. He was supposed to be entertaining guests downstairs, not up here, on the restricted level…

Wait.

Sasuke turned around. 'I got off on the restricted level?'

This was the only floor that wasn't under any kind of surveillance and one needed a Master Key to even get off on it. He giggled at his own stupidity. 'I have a Master Key.'

So that was why the door in front of him didn't have a number on it – just a hastily scratched silhouette where the number was supposed to be. He rubbed his fingers over the indentation that stood out against the otherwise untarnished mahogany door. It was so… pretty. A sound coming from within startled him slightly and he rested his heavy head on the door as he fumbled with the doorknob. His Master Key in hand, Sasuke pushed clumsily against the door, trying to remain silent as though the creaking of the wood wasn't louder than the heartbeat that was pounding in his ears.

'I should have stopped after the second… or was that the seventh shot..?'

He shook himself, trying to get rid of some of the weird, tingling sensations that were running over his body like water. Yep, he was drunk, or at least too tipsy. He made a mental note to send a bouquet to the room that Suri person was staying in, because there was no way he was going to find his way there in this state: that, and he didn't much like drunk sex.

Trying to compose himself, he was startled by the strangely sober thoughts as he realised the light in the room was off (albeit a full ten seconds after a normal sober mind would've caught onto this fact). Bolstered confidence in his sobriety pushing him on, Sasuke stepped further into the poorly illuminated room (he didn't think to turn the light on…), noticing the figure on the king sized bed. He couldn't see her face, but it was definitely a woman. The room stunk of sex, and there was no-one else here. It was obvious what had been happening in here only minutes before. He clenched his fists.

'Father…'

Fugaku Uchiha had been cheating on his wife.

Sasuke stared at the silhouette of the woman silently for a moment, feeling dangerously outraged and started toward her. She was going to learn what happened to whores.

A startled sob brought his seething to a halt. She had just whimpered in… fear? Hesitantly, he moved to the bedside table instead, and turned on the lamp there. The girl's features were illuminated in all their naked glory – her pink hair was unruly and long, her face stained with tears and those vibrant eyes were panicked, like a frightened animal's. She had the bed sheets gripped firmly in her hands and she was indeed naked, but covered in all the appropriate areas.

Sasuke tried to understand what he was seeing. She was clearly a teenager, no older than himself – he had turned sixteen six months ago – and terrified. He felt a pang of guilt, remembering the smug expression that had plastered his father's face as the old man jovially made his way back to the celebrations he'd been organising for a month.

But what was he supposed to say? He continued to stare at the girl, musing on the words before they fell from his lips of their own accord.

"Are you okay?" His voice was somewhat of a whisper, but clear and sharp at the same time.

The girl had started making soft whimpering noises, but at sound of his voice, her head jerked up violently and he took her in fully. She was beautiful, even if a bit undernourished. She was shaking slightly, but a fiercely intent look on her face told him there was more fight in her than her whimpering would have had one believe. She also looked thoughtful, a little desperate, and when she jerked slightly at the sound of his voice, something had pained her: she'd winced as though stung.

The pinkette seemed to make her mind up about something and lowered the sheet that she was clutching to her chest, but not enough to expose herself – just enough to show him the blood red bite marks on her sternum.

"P-please," she begged him softly. "Please, will you help me?"

"What do you need?" He found that he was still whispering, and couldn't help himself.

She swallowed heavily. "I need to get out of here."

Sasuke nodded automatically, as though enthralled and his body moved of its own accord, stepping forward as the strangely exotic pinkette shuffled toward him, meeting him half way across the bed. He wrapped her up in the white sheets, noticing the splatter of blood contrasting severely with the crisp sheet for the first time and couldn't help but inhale the stench of bodily fluids as he swept her up bridal style and strode toward the door.

And again, he wondered at the state of his mind: he was drunk, he had to be. Why else would he be hurriedly ushering this barely covered girl off of the restricted level, past the blind spots in the security system on the other floors, out into the undercover car park, into the Mercedes his father had bought him but told him he was too immature to drive (the idiot) and out of the neighbourhood?

It was just further proof that Itachi was right about him – he had a bad habit of not thinking things through.

– China Doll –

Sasuke agonised for a few minutes on where to go. Surely Fugaku would notice soon that his "pet" had disappeared. While he doubted the cops would suddenly blare through the night streets looking for him to return his sex slave to his father, he worried about their getaway. He'd learnt the blind spots in the surveillance purely to be able to move through the hotel as inconspicuously as possible – freedom and mischief and all that. His desire to break the rules had never shocked him before, let alone resulted in him driving the victim of his father's lust away from the scene of the crime.

It was almost midnight.

Sasuke glanced in the rear-view mirror at the pinkette – she was asleep in the back seat, her face as peaceful as an angel's. And that was how he decided where to go.

Mikoto Uchiha was well known for having married Fugaku and was well liked for her philanthropic gestures. She spent most of her time away from her husband these days – their marriage was ending soon, but it wasn't public knowledge yet, and right now, they were separated. Sasuke could honestly say he wasn't surprised, nor was he upset. His mother deserved better. But right now, she was the answer to his problems. She was in Tokyo for the holidays – it was the beginning of the two month summer break and Sasuke was planning on heading out to see her before meeting up with friends. But Naruto would have to forgive him for cancelling their plans.

There was a cottage that Mikoto owned (one of the few things she had that wasn't bought with his father's money), called 'Angel Cottage'. It had belonged to her great grandfather, Tenshi, which meant "angel". His father had never been there, as far as he knew, and there was no reason to believe he would suddenly go there now.

The drive out of the city and into bushland took half an hour, and the moment the Mercedes hit gravel instead of cooled tar, the pink haired girl woke up from the sudden shift from luxury driving to mountain climbing. It wasn't so bad really; the back road into this forest wasn't entirely unkempt. But the Mercedes wasn't made for this terrain. Fortunately, the bumping and bouncing only lasted ten more minutes and Sasuke pulled up in front of his mother's cottage.

He was the first out of the car opened the back door for the pinkette to get out. She held tightly to her impromptu outfit and looked over the outside of the cottage, the parterre, the loose gravel that made up the pathway to the front door and the hanging baskets that flanked said door. It was safe to say that these aspects, and many others, had her captivated. Sasuke brushed her as he passed, remembering that she was still wrapped up in the sheet and that there should be a change of clothes inside.

He offered her the use of the only shower and set up the second room, wondering what the hell he'd gotten himself into. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for someone tall and imposing to break down the front door and cart her off. He would be beaten to a bloody pulp and she'd be forced back into his father's arms…

Sasuke shuddered at the very thought.

Did his mother know the man was unfaithful? Was that the real reason for the impending divorce? He wondered.

For now however, Sasuke kept himself busy, hardly daring to think that their escape had gone unnoticed, but knew better than to think that his aniki of all people, would believe he had simply disappeared off the face of the earth. The pinkette came out of the shower ten minutes later, accepted a small bite that he supposed for her constituted as pigging out on food, and then went to bed, exhausted. She'd been trembling, but not from the cold. He couldn't begin to understand what she'd been through and so only offered up verbal solace, afraid that even a hug might upset her. She had a strong will – it was evident, even through the widened eyes and clumsy attempt to smile. She was just overwhelmed and he left her be for the night, unspoken questions plaguing his mind.

Sasuke stayed awake for hours after the pinkette had gone to sleep, waiting, wondering… terrified.

– China Doll –

The next morning brought the smell of fried bacon, eggs, and onion. It wafted through the cottage, stirring the youngest Uchiha and making his stomach growl instinctively. For a moment, he forgot he wasn't alone and figured his next door neighbours were trying to lure him over again to talk to their daughter… bacon and onion were his favourite, along with fried tomato. He supposed the eggs would be fine too. He stretched, stood, dressed in a half dream-like state, and ambled into the kitchen to find the pinkette girl hard at work.

Sasuke stopped and stared at her. Right, that hadn't been a beautifully dressed nightmare.

He stumbled into the room and she turned around to face him, her back to the stove top. She was holding a spatula and looking hesitant.

"I hope you don't mind," she said softly. "I was hungry."

Sasuke shrugged, realising he didn't feel so bad for someone who'd had a bit too much to drink the night before. That settled the issue on whether or not he'd actually been drunk. "It's okay – I've been woken up in worse ways than the smell of breakfast."

His attempt to make her smile worked and the corners of her mouth lifted slightly. "I made enough for both of us," she said, feeling a little more sure of herself. "Sit down."

She turned back to the food and Sasuke smiled, doing as he was told. "Is there tomato?"

It felt so surreal; she was trying to pamper him in return for his daring rescue last night, and he finally remembered his manners once she'd sat their plates down and moved to take her first bite.

"I'm Sasuke," he said, hoping she'd respond in kind.

"Sakura," she gave another sheepish smile. "Ittadakimasu."

They ate in silence, and once they were finished, Sasuke tried to think about what to say.

"What happens now?" She asked.

"I don't know."

It was so awkward.

"Do you have any injuries?" He asked. "You don't need medical attention?"

She giggled and he frowned. What was he supposed to ask?

"I am fine."

He tapped the kitchen table. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"We don't even know each other."

"And yet here we are."

Sakura shrugged her shoulders, pushing her empty plate away. "I honestly don't know what to say. It's not like I've been in this situation before. I wasn't raised to take orders, I wasn't coerced into that... trade through fear – some girls are even more spirited than me, and not all of them survive long enough to complain about lack of job satisfaction." Her eyes drifted out the kitchen window as she spoke. "But last night, I was so scared. I've been terrified like that before, and there are always consequences for fighting back. I'm telling a complete stranger how I feel when I haven't done that for anyone, in my entire life." She turned back to face him. "You really did save me, you know, and you didn't have to."

"It was the right thing to do."

"Really?"

He frowned. "And… I felt guilty."

"Why?"

"That man you were with last night is my father."

He let the words sink in and watched the look on her face take on a hardened edge. Would she lash out at him? He really didn't want her to attack him. She was debating on how she was supposed to react when a knock came at the door. Sasuke inhaled, holding his breath out of sheer terror; Sakura clenched her fists, her eyes darting to him quickly. No matter how annoyed she might have been at him for his father's "appetite", Sasuke was the only person who'd shown her kindness, and she wasn't looking to introduce herself to anyone else right now.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke let the breath out. "It's just my aniki," he said. Sakura stood up quickly, as he rose to his feet. He took in her startled expression and indicated toward the room she'd slept in. "You can hide if you want to."

She shook her head. "I don't want to be alone."

Sighing deeply, Sasuke strode over to the front door to open it as Sakura moved up behind him. As he opened the door, she stayed out of sight, but close enough to grip the Uchiha, her fingers digging into his bare arm. He ignored the stinging from her nails and addressed his brother. "Itachi."

"Otouto. May I come in?"

Sasuke glanced at Sakura. The cottage belonged to their mother, so Itachi didn't need permission to enter. He was asking to be polite and Sasuke realised this was one of those times where Itachi knew everything that was going on before it had even come to its fruition. He really was at a loss for what to do next, so instead of dragging out a pointless formality, Sasuke stepped aside to let him in.

"You have company," Itachi said unnecessarily.

The sarcasm in his voice was so faint that Sasuke only heard it because he knew his brother better than anyone else did, even his fiancé. Itachi was nothing if not observant, and he was the only person that the younger brother would've bet money on driving all the way out here to see if he had indeed stolen their father's "plaything". Sasuke scowled at the sarcasm and moved away from the door, Sakura still clinging to him, therefore forcing Itachi to close the door himself.

Sakura sat down next to him, her eyes narrowed as she studied the older brother. Sasuke was just glad she was gripping him and not running for the hills.

'I've gotta stop assuming she'll run – she's not that stupid.'

"I'm not here to make trouble Sasuke," Itachi said. "Frankly, I'm not surprised you're up here."

"What are you talking about?"

Itachi ignored Sasuke, his eyes kind as he addressed the pinkette next to her. "Where are my manners? My name is Itachi."

Sakura glanced at the younger brother warily before offering her name in return.

"Sakura? I see you were aptly name." Itachi returned his attention to his brother, and sat down in a one person settee. "Father's beside himself, and–"

"I don't care," Sasuke snarled. "Sakura isn't some belonging his can toss about, use, abuse and then expect to be waiting for him when he wants more!"

Itachi smiled sadly. "I know. But this runs deeper than either of you realise. Our father got into the human trafficking business long before either of us were born, Sasuke. He's been doing this a long time and he'll find her eventually."

"How long have you known?"

"Almost six months."

Sasuke resisted the urge to punch him as Sakura's grip on him tightened. "And you've done nothing?"

"I've done something." That enigmatic note softened his brother's expression and Itachi continued. "You recall my fiancé, Misato Akimari?"

Sasuke nodded, not understanding what that strangely quirky woman had to do with anything.

"The Akimari family is one of those families that have deep connections, Sasuke. They just don't like to advertise it. Father doesn't know that I'm marrying into a family more powerful than our own." He chuckled. "That would just tickle him pink, wouldn't it?"

This strange, jovial version of his brother that rarely poked his head out always calmed Sasuke. It was having a peculiar affect on Sakura as well, as she gazed at him, having lost the suspicion in her eyes.

"Okay," Sasuke said. "What does any of this have to do with what you say you've been doing?"

"Everything: Misato's father is in good with the commissioner and several high placed politicians. I've been looking through father's affairs. He's lost two shipments in the last few months but is ordering even more before this week is up." Itachi glanced at the pinkette. "They weren't what he'd ordered, so he had them 'dumped' out in the open ocean."

"Father did this?" Sasuke asked, growling softly.

The pink haired girl made a whimpering sound and moved away from him. He mentally berated himself, and Itachi watched as Sasuke whispered to her, telling her she was safe, that he wasn't going to hurt her. He loved his brother, and despite the boy's many naiveties, he seemed to be catching on quickly to what was going on with the pinkette.

Itachi's eyes swept over the forlorn girl as she let Sasuke pull her into his embrace. Girls like her, who were so different from others and exotic, were highly priced in human trafficking. It was no wonder Fugaku wanted her, if only for the strangeness of her hair. It seemed to compliment her porcelain skin and she was extremely beautiful.

"Is that why you came here?" Sasuke asked, still holding Sakura to his chest. "Just to tell us what's going on?"

"I need to talk with you in private."

"No. Whatever you can say to me, you can say with Sakura here."

They fell silent, and eventually Sakura pulled away from Sasuke to stare into the dark depths of his eyes. "You should talk with your brother. I'll leave the room: I need a shower anyway."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. He was his brother and she wasn't going to cause problems for them. Sakura stood up, let Sasuke squeeze her hand, and excused herself from the room. Before he could say anything, Itachi held up a hand to silence him.

"You'll be safe here for today," he said, "but eventually, father will send someone to search for you. Your best bet is to head over to Tokyo – he won't go anywhere near mother."

"Itachi, you're planning something, aren't you?" Sasuke could see the restrained concern in his aniki's eyes that had little to do with his otouto's "infatuation" with the pinkette. "I want in."

"Sasuke," Itachi hissed suddenly. "You have no idea what you're dealing with. These are not some small timers our father works with, like the majority of human traffickers – it's a booming company with billions behind it and many, many greedy men and women who would sooner slit your throat then let you take away even one 'worker' they intend to just dump come morning anyway. They won't think twice about killing you."

Sasuke hissed back at him. "And what about you? Are you doing something about this besides hiding in the background?"

"Of course I am. But I can't have you there when this all goes down. No," he snapped, as Sasuke went to retort. "I won't. I don't want you in the line of fire Sasuke; why do you think I've never told you about any of this? It's safer for you, and for Sakura, if you both leave here within the next twenty four hours and stay with mother."

"Twenty four hours? Whatever you're doing is going to happen tonight?"

"Tomorrow night. I want you well on your way to Tokyo by the time that happens."

Sasuke sighed, hanging his head and nodding softly. "Okay."

"I'm not trying to scold you Sasuke, I just want you safe."

Sasuke looked up at the concerned face of his brother. "What about you, will you be safe?"

"As much as I can be: I can't fully trust any of father's employees, so Misato's father is providing some back up. Don't worry about me." Itachi stared thoughtfully at his otouto. "You really like this Sakura, don't you?"

Sasuke smiled, but didn't answer. "How did you find out what father was doing?"

"That would take too long to fully explain," Itachi checked his watch. "But suffice to say, I noticed some odd behaviour and did my research. There are ways of spotting human traffickers in say, an airport, for example."

"How can you tell?"

Itachi sighed. "Anything from the little things to more obvious signs can give them away. Suspicious bruising, a boss who's overly controlling; accommodations, or workplaces that are locked from the outside while occupied." He hesitated, now staring in the direction the pinkette had disappeared to have her shower – the water was still running. "Their identification and travel documents are kept from them, along with any or all money they might have. They can be overly anxious too, like they're just waiting to be caught."

They remained silent for a few moments before Itachi stood up. "I should go. I'm putting together a case the federal agents can act on and I need to get back to the mansion before father does. I'd have one of Misato's employees bring you food or something, but this place is always stocked up. You'll be leaving before tomorrow night anyway, right?"

Sasuke nodded, knowing his brother was just making sure and wasn't being condescending. He climbed to his feet.

"Good. No-one will bother you and when you see mother, don't tell mother what's happening, okay? Don't worry her. I'll explain everything to both of you when this is all over."

He moved toward the door and opened it. The warmth of the morning came in full force and both brothers basked in its glow before Itachi moved away from the door and down the steps of the porch. He paused at the sound of Sasuke's voice.

"Itachi," Sasuke said, holding the door frame a little too tightly. "How did you know I was the one who took Sakura?"

"You mean other than the fact that you disappeared the same time she did?"

"Yeah."

Itachi grinned – and not the small, twist of the mouth like Sasuke was used to – and twirled his car keys around his forefinger. "I have my own surveillance on the restricted level."

– China Doll –

Itachi Uchiha would be lying if he said he didn't remotely fear his father. Memories of his childhood, from being belted every time he didn't do something "properly" and the way Fugaku had beaten him when Itachi had walked in on his parents having sex, were burned into his brain. He'd only been five years old when he'd walked in on them, and unaware that his mother was in her first trimester when Mikoto had willingly taken most of the beatings for him. It wasn't until she was rushed to hospital that they all found out she was pregnant with Sasuke.

The man was nothing if not brutal.

He arrived fifteen minutes before Fugaku, which gave him an opportunity to raid the office. He had long since figured out the pass-code on the computer his father kept but had yet to have an occasion in which to use it. The surveillance in the mansion was identical to the one used at the hotel, so he bypassed it easily enough and picked the lock on his father's office in less than five seconds – Sasuke wasn't the only one in the family with an affinity for getting into places they ought not to be.

Itachi considered it a necessary talent.

He slipped into the office, taking care to make no noise, despite the fact that even the servants weren't on the grounds, and strode over to his father's computer. The last files he'd need to get were only on this computer, as Fugaku was incredibly paranoid about security. He trusted no-one.

Itachi found what he was looking for, keeping one eye on the time as he emailed what he could to his fiancé and then deleted the browser history before signing off. Despite his outer calm, he was incredibly nervous about the coming couple of days. He had been preparing for this for months, burying himself in facts, figures, paperwork, and more paperwork, to keep himself from dwelling on what he was going to do. And now that the time was almost upon him, the nerves were kicking him in the gut.

He hurried out of the office and strolled out to the front carport as his father's limousine drove up the driveway.

'The man loves his expensive rides.'

But Fugaku never drove himself anywhere, preferring to lie back in luxury and let someone else worry about the pit stops along the itinerary that led to more money, power, or sex with minors. Itachi controlled his urge to shudder as his father exited the limo and strode over to him.

"Itachi? I thought you were working today?"

Itachi shook his head at his father. "Just working from home, and I need to tell you about Sasuke."

Fugaku wrinkled up his nose at the mention of his younger son. He was never good to Itachi as the young man grew up, but never beat on Sasuke – he just dismissed him.

"What has he done now?"

"Nothing," Itachi said, and Fugaku raised an eyebrow at him; he didn't believe him. "Naruto has convinced him to spend the rest of his holidays with him and he's visiting mother in Tokyo before heading over to the Uzumaki Estate."

"Why he spends time with that unruly child, I'll never understand." Itachi followed as his father swept into the mansion. "And where is he now?"

"On his way to Tokyo."

"Good, he'll be gone until school starts again." Fugaku stopped and stared at his eldest. "I have some business that can't wait, I will talk with you later."

Recognising the brush off, Itachi bowed respectfully and left the room.

"He's not to be trusted." The voice belonged to a smartly dressed man who had followed the two Uchiha's in. He'd ridden in the limousine with Fugaku and his presence, while never unnoticed, always went disregarded by Itachi.

"He's too attached to that Akimari girl to have what it takes to be a part of the family business. They're both weak."

The well dressed man just scoffed and tapped his nose. "After the security breech at the hotel, I'd be surprised if anyone in your family but you knew how to conduct proper affairs."

Fugaku didn't respond, but the gangly man knew he had his full attention, even though the taller man was still staring thoughtfully in the direction his oldest son had disappeared. Fugaku was still smarting over the escape of his newest commodity and was positive it was an inside job. No locks had been picked, the external security cameras hadn't caught a damn thing, and a Master Key was registered being used on one of the lifts at approximately the same time he had returned to the festivities. And if both Itachi and Sasuke weren't oblivious to what was happening directly under their noses, he'd have thought one or both of them responsible for his loss.

– China Doll –

The rest of the day went smoothly. Sasuke got Sakura to talk about herself and they were sitting out on the porch, his arm around her thin shoulders, when she truly opened up.

"My sister, Emi," Sakura said, running a hand over the fabric of her skirt absentmindedly. "She's sick."

Sasuke bit his bottom lip to keep from asking what was wrong with the girl and listened intently as the pinkette inhaled deeply, letting it out in ragged breaths. She was tough – he could see that – and he wondered how someone so strong had fallen into the trafficking industry in the first place. He didn't know anything about it and didn't want to ask, in case he insulted her. But Sakura continued with her story, saying how Emi was barely six years old and couldn't walk on her own anymore. The Haruno family was barely getting by since her father died a year ago and Sakura had taken a job at a respectable hotel in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia. It had been fine, waiting tables, and serving guests. She'd enjoyed it more than she thought possible. The service industry had its perks.

But only a few weeks into the job, her boss had started to come down from his office and strike up conversations with her. He asked her about her family, about her education, everything… not knowing what else to say, she told him the truth. He offered her a faster way to accumulate the money for her sister's medical bills than collecting tips and minimum wage. She'd had no idea at the time that Malaysian hotels and restaurants were popular places for large organized crime syndicates for trafficking women, especially foreign ones. Sakura Haruno had caught the attention of several large contributors in the industry, not just for being a Chinese woman living in Malaysia, but also for the natural colour of her hair.

She ran her fingers through the long strands of her hair as she told Sasuke that things had escalated fairly quickly, with her boss coercing her into Malaysia's commercial sex trade. She'd been "migrated" to Indonesia, Thailand, the Philippines, and then finally back to Malaysia. Before she knew it, some Japanese man by the name of Fugaku Uchiha had paid to own her outright and she was being shipped to Japan.

Sakura had not seen any of the money the owner of the hotel had promised her would fall into her lap, and she felt so stupid for falling for that trap so easily. Her first time had been violent and bloody because she'd freaked moments into it, aggravating the "client". He'd decided not to wait for her to kick out and attack him, and took her by force. She still remembered everything about it.

Sakura turned her head away from Sasuke and fell silent. She had no idea why she'd told him all of this – trust was somewhat of an expensive commodity for her these days. But from the moment he'd whispered to her in that godforsaken hotel room, she'd felt compelled to trust him. When his voice was low, she heard something in it that was akin to a spell being cast on her person. She had felt something overcome her, like she knew he would never hurt her, never betray her and never look down on her as nothing more than some sex toy.

He had a kind soul.

But she had no idea where she was supposed to go from here. Was she to stay in this cottage with him forever, or follow him to Tokyo and meet his mother? She wanted to stay close to Sasuke, to slink into his shadow and never draw attention from anyone else ever again. He could afford her the safety and sanctuary she so desperately desired.

And then there was Emi… would Sasuke promise to help her pay for her sister's bills? Could she ask that of him? He had already been too kind, and she felt like she was imposing on him by being here. Begging him to help her when she'd been naked, violated and on the verge of a nervous breakdown had seemed like a good idea at the time, but… what was she supposed to do now? Emi wasn't going to get better all on her own.

Sasuke's thoughts too, were on the future, but they lingered more prominently on the previous night and the state he'd found her in. The evidence of blood on the white sheets had made him think his father had stolen her innocence, but it didn't seem that way now. Did girls often bleed after their first time?

He tightened his embrace on her shoulder. "You bled onto the sheets at the hotel."

Sakura's eyes widened slightly, surprised he would say that. "Y-yes. But he wasn't gentle and didn't properly prepare me, and–"

"Uggh," Sasuke grunted, interrupting her. It wasn't even dinner time, and he'd already lost what little appetite he'd had in the first place. He felt sick to his stomach. "Let's talk about something happier."

Sakura offered him a small smile. "I am interested in your story."

"My story? You mean my life story?" Sasuke asked. "I grew up with everything I needed, I never got sick, even during flu season, and my mother pampered me because my father never gave me the time of day. Itachi was the only one to treat me like I wasn't made of glass, or like I was some leper."

Sasuke's childhood had been more boring than anything, which was why, once he was old enough to sneak out of the house, he'd started acting out. It wasn't like he'd gone and robbed a convenience store – he taught himself how to pick locks, took advantage of the things his father bought as commodities for his business, like sneaking around hotels… his best friend was Naruto Uzumaki, who shared his fondness for breaking the rules. He told Sakura about the long talks he'd had with Naruto about getting out of Japan when they graduated and travelling the world. They had their futures all planned out.

Sakura listened with interest: one part jealousy, two parts pity. This boy had no idea what it was like to fight for the basic necessities. More than likely, he would go out into the world, find himself flat broke, and then come running back, looking for more money. She found his naivety cute but stupid. She had let herself dream before and it always bit her in the ass.

She let Sasuke pull her closer as they watched the sunset. They were wrapped in blankets to fight the cold and she held onto him for more warmth. But this wouldn't last. Sakura knew that soon she'd have to make a decision on where she belonged, and that he wouldn't like what she came up with.

– China Doll –

The warm feeling was gone, the pleasant sensation of having another body curled up next to his own had disappeared, and Sasuke shivered from the cold. He'd awoken alone, and quickly found that his world had exploded. Almost an hour later, he found himself coming to the only place he knew and let himself into the Uchiha mansion.

"Itachi," Sasuke said, letting his panic and fear overtake his voice. "She's gone."

Sasuke gripped the scarlet envelope in his hands tightly, trying to calm the fear building rapidly inside of him. What if their father found her or some other sex crazed freak? What if–

"She left you a letter?" Itachi interrupted his thoughts.

Sasuke nodded. "It's basically thank you and goodbye. Itachi, I don't like the idea of her trying to get home alone. She doesn't have any safe mode of transportation; father still has her passport and identification… what if she's caught by the police, or some sicko? What if–"

Itachi raised a hand to cut him off mid sentence and shook his head warningly. He'd spotted the entrance of their father, who was striding over to them, a slightly frustrated look on his face.

"I thought you were in Tokyo, Sasuke," he said, clearly annoyed that he wasn't.

"I had to come back," Sasuke mumbled. "I have a friend I forgot to say goodbye to."

"Well hurry up will you, your mother called to speak with you a moment ago and I don't want her ringing here without due cause next time."

"Yes father." Sasuke bowed and was about to move to leave the room when Fugaku cast Itachi a calculating stare before leaving as imperially as he'd entered.

"I have to deal with him now," Itachi said apologetically. "Check the buses, trains, and planes out of the city if you'd like, but you won't catch her – if she's even as remotely resourceful as I believe she is, she'll be hitchhiking. I'll help you find her Sasuke," he added when his otouto opened his mouth furiously. "But the raids are coming tonight and everything has to be in its proper place. I know it sounds callous, but I can't go running off looking for a girl who was free to leave whenever she wanted, and risk this entire operation. I'm sorry. I'll see you next week, when this is all over. You should do as I told Fugaku you were doing, and leave for Tokyo, now."

– China Doll –

The dusty road reminded her of those movies about the Wild West, and run down Mexican towns. Tumble weeds crossed her path and the early morning breeze was more sand than wind. She'd hitchhiked, bartered and grovelled and now was looking forward to going home.

She knew it was dangerous, crossing international waters, even under the best of circumstances, but she wouldn't be deterred. She had experience in the hospitality industry and the captain of the passenger ship 'The Kebebasan' had given her a temporary job to get her back to Malaysia.

Sakura wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing, running away from Sasuke, but staring out over the Pacific Ocean from this quaint port town, she missed her mother and sister enough to satisfy her conscience. Sasuke was the youngest son of Fugaku Uchiha, and very shortly, that name was going to be in the papers, on the news and all over the internet. She told herself she was doing this to get back to her real family, and that if she wanted, she could just send Sasuke a letter – he had no idea where her family lived, but she'd been sure to copy the telephone number and address of his mother's apartment in Tokyo, just in case.

But she couldn't worry about that right now. She had to get home.

Sakura was about to get up and leave the café she was sitting in, when the small television (like the ones you see in pubs) caught her attention. The newscaster was prattling on about multiple raids on companies all throughout the world, centred on business owned or controlled by Uchiha Industries. She stared at the screen, waiting patiently as the picture changed to a reporter talking into the camera spoke of frozen bank accounts, numerous arrests, including high profile dignitaries, suicides in the board room, and last but not least, the rather public arrest of one Fugaku Uchiha.

Sakura watched in sick fascination as the man who had terrified her more than any other trafficker she'd ever met was a blurred image in the background. She shook herself out of her morbid thoughts and left the café. She would forever be grateful to Sasuke Uchiha for getting her out of that hotel room – she didn't think she'd be able to handle having police officers ask her how many times she'd been raped.

He had helped her more than she had ever helped herself.

– China Doll –

It had been several weeks, and before he knew it, a month had passed since he last saw the pinkette. Sasuke had returned to school amidst the whispering and pointing because of what happened with his father, but didn't care. His mother wanted to get him home schooled for the remainder of the year, but he didn't want to cower. Naruto had been supportive, loudly drawing attention away from his best friend wherever possible and had gotten himself into trouble at the principal's office several times before discovering he didn't actually need to paint obscenities about the people who were whispering the more cruel rumours about his friend in order to support him.

Sasuke appreciated the effort, but it wasn't necessary.

So Naruto decided instead to revert to just being boisterous.

The rest of the year went much like those first four weeks had, except Sasuke became more and more distant, even with his family. He couldn't stop thinking about Sakura, wondering if she was okay, if she'd found her way home. Her sister had been very sick and he could've found a way to help with that, if only she'd asked. It made him incredibly angry, but the next moment he'd remember her smile, the way she clung to him when intimidated by Itachi's overwhelming "presence" and these memories would stir the concern and fear again.

The end of the school year brought sweet relief, no matter how adamantly Sasuke had insisted on returning to high school. He supposed he should've taken some time off but that stubborn streak, where he stupidly believed that everything was just going to fall into place and revert to normal, won out. He had never been more miserable in his entire life.

Mikoto had sold the mansion and moved into a two storey house in the upper suburbs and she had been divorced and dating for months now. Her new boyfriend was an acquaintance of the Akimari family, much to Itachi's displeasure, but it was just Sasuke and Mikoto in that big house, and she was the type that got bored easily. She was enjoying her life for the first time in years, which was why neither Itachi nor Sasuke said anything about it.

Naruto insisted on giving Sasuke a ride home on the last day of school, acting very un-Naruto like by humming and grinning instead of talking or rambling like he always did.

"What is up with you?"

"Nothing," Naruto said, whistling the word through his teeth. "I just thought, for the end of our first high school year, you should have a party and invite the entire class."

"All of Japan compliments you on your highly original idea," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. "But in case you've forgotten, the entire school hates me."

"They don't hate you."

"They do so."

"Do not."

"Do so."

"Do not."

"Do… you know what, shut the hell up."

Naruto laughed. "You'll cheer up soon."

Sasuke didn't bother asking why he would think this, chalking it up as typical knuckleheaded behaviour, and they spent the rest of the drive in silence.

"Okay," Naruto said, drawing out the vowels as he drove straight into the Uchiha driveway. "I've got a confession to make."

"This will be good. Who did you piss of this time?"

Naruto pretended to look offended. "No-one, teme! Unlike someone, I don't consider grunting and cussing to be a mandatory form of communication." He poked tongue at him. "I was going to say, I had a reason for driving you home, and if you yank that stick out of your arse long enough to behave, there's someone inside your house waiting for you."

"I don't want to be set up again."

Naruto groaned, opening the car door. "Get out of my car, Sasuke."

Sasuke moved slowly, if only to piss him off, but at the sight of the pink hair emerging from the front door of his house, he stilled, halfway toward closing the car door. She looked just like he remembered, except she'd definitely been looking after herself. He swallowed heavily, his eyes raking over her form and Naruto had to pry him off of his car and drag him over to her, loudly complaining about "lazy bastards" of course.

"Sasuke," Sakura smiled at him.

He could barely breathe. She was looking at him and all he could muster was the necessity of blinking his eyes.

"Teme!" Naruto smacked him over the back of the head, much like Sasuke often did to him, and shook his head at Sakura. "I swear I didn't break him."

Sakura giggled. "I'm sure."

"Teme, Sakura contacted your mother awhile back and she's been paying for her sister's medical bills."

"I wanted to tell you," Sakura said, ignoring the blonde, who just threw his hands in the air, strode past the pinkette, and disappeared inside the house.

Sasuke seemed to regain some of his motor function at the blonde's departure and moved toward Sakura, smiling as she fell into his arms. He squeezed her tightly. "It doesn't matter. You're here now."

Sakura gripped him tightly. "I was always going to come back, but I had to take care of my family first."

"You don't have to explain." Sasuke was surprised at himself, feeling the hot tears streaming down his face before he could stop them. "I've missed you."

She nodded into his chest and mumbled incoherently. Sasuke pulled away just enough to see he wasn't the only one crying. He lowered his mouth to hers for a chaste kiss and she returned the favour.

Sakura boldly took his hand. "Come on, I want you to meet my mother and sister. They're having afternoon tea with your mother and your friend Naruto is bound to come check up on us if we stand outside your house all day." She opened the front door and turned to smile up at her raven haired saviour, basking in the features of the boy who had stolen her heart. "They're going to love you almost as much as I do."

X X X

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, Episode 138

I think it is easy to forget that literally every episode that aired in the year of Our Common Era, 2021, has taken place over the span of *Spurt voice* eleven days. Well. It has. And, indeed, the last seven episodes have covered roughly two days.

The reason this is only about wizard NPCs is because they serve as a sort of audience surrogate in that they are nerds who don't go outside, vs. D&D PCs who see more shit in two to eleven days than most people would see in a lifetime; case in point, Essek's current state of shock. This is also making it very hard to check in with the other wizards. But also this is not about accuracy, even though I am usually right about everything. This is about...honestly I'm not sure, other than wizards.

What I'm trying to say is:

Caleb Widogast is a PC, not an NPC, and is not included in these strange statistics*.

Currently sidelined: Pumat Sol, Oremid Hass, Ludinus Da'leth, Astrid Beck, E_dwulf Grieve

Obligatory self-indulgent Vess Derogna song parody: Tomb....takers, killed you in your room, they’ll end the world soon but hey/you cult wizard, lost in a blizzard, whatever you’ve done, well, murdered, you’ll stay

Trent Ikithon: I am 100% serious that while I have made Narrative Sense In Actual Play Media in the rock on which I will cast my Temple of the Gods, if the final boss is Trent riding on Uk'otoa...I won't be mad. Like does it seem tonally off? Yes; Critical Role is not humorless high fantasy by any means** but they are not actively trying to seem like something that should be airbrushed on a van, usually. But will it be pretty awesome? Yeah.

Trent on the other hand is pretty fucking mad, presumably, because Caleb continues to leave him on read and also picked up a little something called Mind Blank, which is actually useful and not in fact No Thoughts Head Empty. With that said I don't think it's increased; I think we're just at a steady simmer.

Conclusion: 7/10.

Essek Thelyss: Okay I am a dabbler in both cosmic horror and mathematics; I enjoy many elements of both but am an expert in neither. But if I may drop the jokes for a second, how incredible is it that in this alien setting of a city that is an unwitting and unwilling amalgam of consciousnesses, with all the trappings of classic cosmic horror, two people decided to take a scientific risk with things seen as forbidden or foreign by their respective cultures...and won.

I don't know what will befall Essek and he's clearly still having a pretty rough time of it, even though unlike Caduceus I don't think he was brought to the brink of profanity again, yet; but no matter what happens at least he'll have the nat 20 of instant long rest. No matter what happens...he was right about dunamancy. Fucking ironic how much potential the dynasty is wasting, really.

With that said he does have a red eye now even though all he (and, to be fair, Fjord, Veth, and Caduceus as well) did was fight off an eldritch abomination without rolling what must have been like a 20 Wisdom save DC. Like, he (and Fjord, Veth, and Caduceus) do not deserve this. You think this man has a positive wisdom score? In this economy? (actually, he might, I say, looking at Caleb 'Wisdom Ostensibly 16' Widogast).

Conclusion: keeping him at 8/10. It's funny because he is fully on an emotional roller coaster but it's averaging out to about an 8/10 each time; it's just that he's constantly beset by horrors beyond imagination and really terrible rolls but also incredible validation of his beliefs that had so long been ignored. The man's mental state is basically a sine wave, which interestingly enough is itself influencing his mental state.***

Yussa Errenis: The Prodigal Most Interesting Man in Exandria returneth! Wensforth, play Freedom! 836 PD. You know, he should probably feel a little bit of shame, because he should know better, but also he probably does not. Anyway please enjoy the lines I had for Yussa while he was trapped in Cognouza that I did not ultimately use:

aha no don’t get your consciousness sucked into an ancient city you’re so sexy

Here am I floating in an ancient and terrible world-devouring city/far out in the planes/Threshold crests are blue and there’s nothing I can do

Making bad choices and joining the voices it’s...YUSSA ERRENIS

Conclusion: I'm going to say 6/10 but rapidly decreasing. Also Wensforth has had several days to clean the tower...maybe he just won't tell Yussa? He probably will though.

Allura Vyesoren: she's going to facepalm so long that Kima starts timing it, isn't she. She's going to get a series of messages like "hey so the Mighty Nein seem to be doing well! they freed me from the city which sucked me in like some spicy ramen when I did an astral projection...also something happened in my tower?" She's going to just stare out the window for a long moment. She is going to ask herself, much as I have many a time, what the fuck is in the water in Wildemount.

Conclusion: 3/10. Hey, at least she got some news on the Mighty Nein and the city!

Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk: consider: after over 35 years, give or take, in your own perception of time, trapped in a gem, you finally come across some people. Consider that one of them apparently can't resist a big shiny wizard trap. Now consider that this guy went into your +1 Demiplane of Wizard Murdering AND got his mind fully schlorped by Aeorians and yet you are still, inconceivably, stuck in this fucking gem. This is where he draws the line? At a teensy little bodily possession? What the fuck dude.

Conclusion: I'm pretty sure he's already a few large handfuls of iron filings short of a component pouch (which is to say, full up on the batshit) already but this cannot be helping.

*this will be the first but probably not the last cosmic horror and/or math joke because I actually forgot to make cat jokes last night, so thoroughly did the Nein demolish Cree. Speaking of Cree's fate...call that a Furrier Transform.

**high fantasy is a complicated distinction and the wikipedia page includes Discworld which does not seem right to me; it also includes the Belgariad, a series for which I have great fondness having inhaled the first three books while sick in bed as a fourteen year old and having reread several times, but which is explicitly written by a guy who was like what if I made something as formulaic as possible but also literally everyone is either super sarcastic or a huge moron but anyway imo High Fantasy is actually frequently fucking hilarious and a sign of the skill of the creator(s) is whether it's hilarious by accident or on purpose.

***something something Heisenberg uncertainty principle. I had a joke here but it got very convoluted and that is actually not a pun although if you understand why it could be a pun, good work.

[commander-kirschtein]

modern!au random quirks headcanons for the 104th

have some rather random headcanons that have been living in my brain for the 104th kiddos - mac

masterlist

eren jaeger:

always talks louder than he needs to. this boy doesn’t understand the concept of inside voice.

he gets caught speaking his internal monologue out loud (pretty much canon.)

If it wasn’t for mikasa and armin, he would be late to everything.

doesn’t have auto correct on and types incredibly fast, so expect 5 messages before you can finally understand what he was trying to say first time around.

argues with jean who the best spider-man is. eren thinks it’s toby maguire, jean is strongly for andrew garfield.

mikasa ackerman:

puts four sugars in her tea. she’s got a sweet tooth.

she will baby talk to animals. only in a whisper though because she doesn’t want anyone to hear her being so adorable.

has an almost photographic memory. super good at remembering appointments and people’s birthdays.

likes scrap-booking! she’ll collect tickets/paper souvenirs/stickers and will print off pictures of friends to stick in it. plus she’s amazing at calligraphy style writing so it looks super pretty.

can’t stand artificial light. her bedroom is lit solely by candles.

armin arlert:

knows all the words to asap science’s periodic table song.

can solve a Rubik's cube in 20 seconds.

knows lots of useless trivia. mainly because he spends so much time reading random wikipedia pages.

can’t fall sleep until he’s checked underneath his bed and inside of his wardrobe at least twice (just in case monsters might actually be real.)

has notifications turned off on his phone because they make him nervous, therefore it might take 3-5 working days before armin gets back to your message.

jean kirschtein:

loves peeling the plastic off brand new things - would buy a new phone just to peel the plastic off the screen.

likes to go for random drives at night with the radio playing. preferably in the passenger seat so he can drift off.

the volume of the tv/his phone always has to be an even number.

goes off on tangents - the topic has to change 5 times before he makes his point.

he snores - tell him and he’ll deny it.

sasha braus:

can’t keep herself still. always fiddling with something and will shift weight from foot to foot when standing around.

likes to eat squirty cream straight from the can.

can’t have her nails painted because she instantly gets the urge to peel it off once they’re dry.

can open bottles with her teeth.

makes the corresponding animal noise when she sees an animal. she sees a dog - she barks. she sees a horse - she neighs (much to jean’s dismay.)

connie springer:

puts milk in before cereal. when people ask why he tells them that it’s his way of bringing chaos to the world.

won’t eat the crust on bread/pizza.

his shoes are always untied.

really good at accent and impressions. it’s his best party trick and it always makes everyone laugh.

has to drink everything through a straw. even bottled drinks and cans.

marco bodt:

really good at wrapping presents. at christmas he’s his friends go to present wrapper.

likes to write nice things to his friends on post-it notes. mainly things like ‘i hope your exam goes well today!’ or ‘hoping you have a wonderful day today!’

refuses to curse. he’s just so pure. jean’s making it his life mission to hear marco say ‘fuck’ at least once.

is super giggly and finds everything funny when he’s tired.

panics when going through airport security even though he knows he’s done nothing illegal.

historia reiss/christa lenz:

refers to her friends with pet names only. most common ones are honey, sweetie and lovely.

that friend who always has everything you could possibly need on her: painkillers, plasters, tampons, lip balm - she has it all.

taps her nails on every surface and says ‘asmr’ when she does it.

wakes up early every morning just to see the sunrise and then will go back to sleep. she just thinks it’s pretty.

ymir:

doesn’t sit on chairs normally. big L from death note vibes when it comes to ymir and chairs.

has a denim jacket covered in pins and badges.

she won’t admit it but she’s extremely ticklish. Don’t tickle her though because the consequences are not worth it.

refers to babies as ‘gremlins.’ and sticks her tongue out at little kids who stare at her.

the queen of eavesdropping. knows everything about everyone. don’t get on the wrong side of ymir cause she’s full of blackmail material.

reiner braun:

terrible at singing - but this doesn’t stop him from singing.

so bad at taking compliments. he can dish them out with ease but dies inside if he’s complimented back (please compliment him he needs love.)

gives an active commentary about every film he watches. Don’t take him to the cinema unless you want people to shush you every 10 minutes.

calls all of his friends ‘kiddos’ despite being the sameish age. He’s just such a dad. Speaking of which - he’s a dad dancer and dad joker.

likes to pick up his friends and throw them over his shoulder or bridal carry them by surprise. even bertholdt. especially bertholdt.

bertholdt hoover:

he can do some card/magic tricks. don’t ask him how, he won’t reveal his secrets.

he has freakishly bendy fingers. can do that thing where he pushes his fingers backwards and they touch his wrist.

starts most of his sentences with ‘umm.’

trips over nothing quite often (it’s those long ass legs - but reiner is always there to catch him ;))

likes to listen to minecraft music to fall asleep (okay but sweden is so nice to fall asleep to.)

annie leonhardt:

still sleeps with stuffed animals (so do i there’s no shame in it folks.)

likes to go out for walks listening to music, pretending she’s the main character in a coming of age movie.

everyone will agree that she has the most amazing smile. but you don’t often see it because whenever she does smile she covers it with her hand.

wears socks to bed. especially fluffy ones.

fascinated by reptiles. she wants to have a lizard and a snake as a pet.

[appassaddle]

In worldbuilding, one of the best touchstones you can give people is in arts. Music is especially great because it’s one of the longest lasting sense-memories people have, so giving that to your fictional characters makes them that much more real and relatable. ATLA, as a great fantasy world, makes great use of this (how many times have you sung a song from the show? be honest.) so this is a list of possible musical influences that could be part of the various nations outside of the music we’re given in-show. The musical possibilities with bending and having benders has just... so much cool potentital, because look at what we’ve got without even having powers!

Check it:

Earth kingdom – lithophones

The Earth Kingdom would have absolutely sick lithophones (instruments made from resonating stone).

Lithophones are also some of the oldest dated musical instruments, going back to prehistoric times, and can be found in locations/cultures around the globe (singing/ringing/sonic/resonant rocks of different types are everywhere) in both natural and man-made settings. (Musical caves/stalactite organs vs carved or shaped settings)

Some examples:

Bianqing: (also known as qing, biên khánh in Vietnam, and pyeongyeong in Korea) A stone gong originating from China, played in a set (or singular) hung on racks, with a characteristic angular shape. (Not to be confused with bianzhong, which are metal bells, often played together with bianqing.)

          [example] [example] [example]

Ðàn đá: a stone mallet instrument from the western/central highlands of Viet Nam. They are a historic instrument and got a revival in the 1950s, so they are fairly common in the modern era as well.

          [example] [example]

          If you’re interested in checking out the work of Viet musicologists, check out their website: https://www.vienamnhac.vn/home-page

For a look into how stone based instruments can be made, check out this report from a small town in Japan that specializes in a specific type of musical stone (sanukite): https://www.kensanpin.org/en/report/no47/

Some examples of instruments made from sanukite: [example] [example]

(I can also totally see towns in the EK having stones specific to their region and their local musical tone.)

Post metalbending revolution they would probably partner up with…

The Fire Nation likely has a strong lean towards metallophones. In Western music the most well known of these would be vibraphones, glockenspiels, and bells. (In the ATLA soundtrack, a notable metallic sound is Azula’s signature sting.) But for the FN, more likely influences could be along the lines of:

Gamelan: this is a genre/type of ensemble from Indonesia, the main three styles being Javanese, Balinese, and Sudanese. (Styles depend on island of origin and cultural purposes.) It has a rich history and cultural importance that cannot be done justice in a few lines her, but it’s absolutely amazing music. Gamelan is used for religious/spiritual purposes, dance, puppeteering/storytelling, theater, general concerts, community gathers, and more. Ensembles range in size and instrumentation, but the main timbre is in the various metallophones (barred, gongs, cymbals, etc.), as well as drums, strings, woodwinds, and singers. [example] [example] [example]

[If you’re interested in learning more, the Wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamelan actually has whole video modules via youtube to learn about the various styles of gamelan and multiple sources both print and online to access!]

Steelpan/steel drums: Originating from Trinidad and Tobago, these instruments have a very universal popularity for their bright tone and accessibility. There are many variations on steelpan such as the hang drum, handpan, steel tongue drum, and others. [example] [example] [example]

For the polar Water Tribes, I’d imagine they’d have a much stronger oral/vocal tradition than instrumental, with the exception being portable/durable instruments like hands drums, bone flutes, etc. (So this section is a little less instrument based and more appropriate vibes.)

Vocal/oral tradition: It’s hard to find a culture that doesn’t have some form of oral or sung tradition, but with the cultural influences behind the Water Tribes, I’d guess that a strong tradition would be in throat singing. Throat singing is found in multiple indigenous cultures around the world with various styles of overtone singing (producing more than one tone at once). Some examples are:

Inuit - [one] [two]

Tuvan (Mongolian) - [one] [two] [obligatory plug for The Hu bc they are some of the coolest people on the planet]

Tibetan - [one] [two]

Italian - [one] [two]

Ainu - [one] [two]

Tan Dun, Water Music: Tan Dun is a composer who has done film scores and currently focuses on what he calls “organic music” where the main focus is using naturally occurring materials/sounds. [performance]

Water drumming: One of the coolest ensemble performances, just straight up using water as an instrument. These examples are from Vanuatu and the Baka people of Cameroon. [one] [two] [three] [four] [five]

Sea Organ: Located in Zader, Croatia, this experimental instrument is played by the tides and waves. [video]

Hand drums/frame drums: these styles of drums can be found around the world, throw a dart at a map and there’s probably a style of hand drum from there. They are among the simplest style of drum to make, needing a round frame and hide to stretch over it. Here are just a few examples: [one] [two] [three] [four] [five] [six]

Air Nomads probably had a hug musical tradition between the temples, skybison herding, and traveling. Both singing and wind instruments were probably very popular (we see Aang being able to play multiple instruments). Simple flutes make good travel instruments and being able to share news and information via song when stopping at towns would be a valued skill (in communities before reading was a common skill, it would usually fall to either dedicated criers or bards to pass along information in an understandable and memorable way).

Singing/chants: Learning songs from around the nations would be fun for those who travel, it’s easy to imagine an informal song competition for the most variety or strangest or most locations or dirtiest ones learned during their travels. But given the strong influence of Tibetan Buddhism on the Air Nomads, some traditional Tibetan vocal music examples (a couple of other examples are under the Water Tribe section as well)- [one] [two] [three] [four] [five]

(Tibetan musical notation is also regarded as some of the most beautiful in the world, I’d strongly recommend taking a look.)

Sheng- This is a free-reed mouth organ from China and it has an incredibly long history. Traditional shengs are handheld with few keys, more modern versions vary in size, number of pipes, and keys. It’s a pretty delightful instrument imo. [one] [two] [three]

Panflute: There a lots of different kinds of panflutes found around the world, the most famous being the Greek and Peruvian styles. Some different kinds include paixiao (China), wot (Laos, northern Thailand), nai (Romania, Moldova), siku (Andean), and kuvytsi (Slavic). Variations include the cut of pipes to produce the sound, arrangement of the pipes, and materials used.[siku] [paixiao] [wot 1] [wot 2]

It would also be very cool to have carvings into the mountains that could be played by airbending oh man.

All of these are, of course, just barely dipping a toe into the vast amounts of beautiful musical cultures out there, but hopefully it helps inform and build on what is there. If something tickles your fancy, please feel free to go digging and find more about it! (If you aren’t sure where to start, I’m happy to help, just drop me a line and I can at least point you in the right direction. I make no claim to be any kind of expert here, but I can get you to them!)

[randomcanbian]

(re: Fandom Meme) B, D, N, P, R, Y ??? (also if you feel like answering T again about anything else pls do (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) (also let the record know that your first answer was *chef kiss* wonderful and should've been canon imo (╯▽╰ ))

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Felix x fem!Byleth from FE3H... I thought it’d be the same as f!Dimileth (the fandom version of it at least) where the man is like ~~ohhhh I’m a monster I’m so broken ahhh I push people away and go on berserker rages because of my tragic backstory~~ and the woman has to be gentle and kind, the epitome of femininity (despite being a mercenary who had been trained to kill since she was 11...), basically put himself above her on so many levels and the onus is on her to ~~fix him~~~...but apparently not??? The fancontent is so gorgeous and has them as equals, both lonely people who’ve had their childhood taken away from them, both who’ve closed themselves off from the world (or in Byleth’s case, has never known how to open herself up to it), both of them seeing themselves in each other, both taking it upon themselves to meet each other half-way and from thereon help each other process their past and walk forward into the future...damn man, the kinship and the partnership in this ship... (also it really helps that 1. Felix is awed at Byleth’s swordsmanship and tactical mind and pushes himself to surpass it, forming a foundation for a healthy rivalry 2. the fandom does not forget that Byleth is her own person and not just Felix’s partner *cough* Dimileth *cough* Edeleth *cough*)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t

Hmmmm well sometimes I wished (in general) that I could actively ship mlm couples, just because there’s so much content for them :)) (don’t get me started on how fandom gravitates towards male characters and mlm ships...lmao someone way back then gave me the excuse that it’s because the actual creators put more effort into their male characters and that they end up becoming more complex and interesting and like *looks at my fandoms where there are just as many girls as guys, just as interesting (if not more so) backstories and dynamics and interactions for the female characters, looks at the sheer number of mlm shippers in those fandoms who squeeze the most out of every insignificant moment for their male characters while ignoring the depth and complexity of the female characters* sure)

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

Glee

1. Fanfic with more “out-there” ideas :)) (Don’t get me wrong, there are fanfics that fall far from Glee’s high school/young adult/modern-coming-of-age setting, and even for fics that do fall under those spheres there are some that deal with complex, intricate themes in such an incredible manner or even if not that are just plain enjoyable but like,,, there aren’t enough for my ever-expanding hunger HAHA)(my last couple of fandoms were dark fantasy/sci-fi/whatever The Good Place is so I guess I just got spoiled lmao)

2. More analytical thinking LMAO I guess it just frustrates me that there are so many people in the fandom who take things at face value??? Given how biased the writers are and how shit they are at continuity it really doesn’t make sense to me that so many people take things so literally haha

3. More fanart unu I totally understand though that the fandom isn’t as big as it once was but a girl can dream, you know?

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

Something that I had wanted to write for Brittana (since 2012!) but never had the brain cells to: a sailor!AU where the characters live on a flat world and they’re trying to sail towards its edge (encountering so many mythical beasts and legends on the way) (may or may not be inspired by C.S. Lewis’ The Voyage of the Dawn Treader haha)

Special mention to this AU since I've used for at least three fandoms by now haha: Pygmalion&Galatea!AU wherein one character creates a statue and her love for it brings it to life :)))

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

LMAO I went through Bae Doona’s body of work (what was available of it at least) in 2015 and ended up shipping her character Park Hyun-nam with her best friend (Yoon Jang-mi) in 플란다스의 개 (Barking Dogs Never Bite)...I wrote a very small ficlet of them (I literally had to create the section for them in ao3...and lmao I just checked and I am still the only fic in there HAHA)(please don’t look for my account btw all my fics are so self-indulgent and atrocious huhu) and I also made this gifset of them :))) As far as I know I am literally the only one in the entire world who ships them HAHA

Similar story for her character Ri Bun-hui in 코리아 (As One)...although honestly if it turns out that a decent number of people have seen this movie I’d be surprised that no one else shipped Bun-hui with Hyun Jung-hwa??? Because they??? Tennis table rivals from North Korea and South Korea who have to team up to win at the Olympics??? Jung-hwa trying to get Bun-hui and her team to loosen up??? Them becoming closer??? When the Olympics are over and the North Korea team have to go home, and Jung-hwa chases after the bus and tries to reach for Bun-hui’s hand, realizing that they might never see each other again??? I??? (Just...I had to make this gifset of their hands: when they first meet each other, when one takes the other’s for comfort, the last time their fingers will ever touch...)(Also let’s ignore that it’s a re-telling of real life event akjsndaskj haha)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all

(Thank you roseate ;u; I’m glad that you agree and are interested with my headcanons ;o;)

Santana’s a trivia nerd and is the type to deep-dive down Wikipedia pages which is why she makes all those obscure references :))) (Also a more specific version of this headcanon, not something that I’d die defending but like,,, something that I won’t let anyone take away from me lmao is that she’s a TV/movie buff, dabbles in comics (specifically, DC and follows character like Wonder Woman, the Birds of Prey, Poison Ivy/Harleyquinn, Batwoman, and Renee Montoya), and started getting a little into theater/musicals after spending time with Kurt and Rachel :))) She also has a record player back in Lima and has a bunch of vinyl records back home (back in high school she’d play a couple of slow songs and just slow dance with Britt in the privacy of their bedrooms uwu)(imagine this scene and this song playing in the background ;u;)

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

BTS, because so many of my friends are KPOP fans

Genshin, also because so many of my friends are into it

魔道祖师 (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) because my close friend fangirls over them so much and we just exchange anecdotes with me and Glee/Fire Emblem and her and TGDC

Critical Role and My Brother, My Brother and Me podcast because my gf is a huge fan of them :))

Not quite there yet, but I am looking forward to having Dostoevsky’s extended universe as a secondhand fandom HAHA

[tsukikoayanosuke]

The Captain’s Rambling - How TW:OPT was written

Well, today (it's already the 29th of September in my timezone) is a special day and I just uploaded the newest chapter with interesting things going on in there. I did promise that I will tell you how Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure was written, right? Well, gather around children. The captain has a story to tell.

I think it was around March of this year and I think it was the early stage of quarantine in my country. I was like relaxing, watching YouTube while having an online class at the same time (please, don't do this at home). Around that time my autoplay got me some Black Butler amv and being that girl who never watches popular anime, I only have the vaguest idea about Black Butler except everyone seems thirsty over Sebastian. But the concept of master & servant always interests me. So, I tried actively search for some Black Butler AMV until finally, I came across a thumbnail of 'Ciel'. However, I soon found out that it was not a Black Butler AMV, but instead, it was the Twisted Wonderland opening song.

My first thought was: "Oh no. Is Disney making another Kingdom Hearts series?"

After a quick search in Wikipedia, I decided to cruise through Tumblr, seeing some cute stuff, and then, just out of curiosity, I check whether there was any fanfiction of this game. Lo and behold, Archive of Our Own has a section already. So, of course, I wanted to read some fics, because that's apparently my job. While very early there are some Canon Characters/Reader fics, I tend to avoid it for now, I found a fic titled 'Beyond the Looking-Glass' and it's also a crossover with Kingdom Hearts. So, I was like: "Okay. Let's give it a try." A few sentences later I found a familiar name: 'Hikari'. My brain was a bit slow at that time so I scrolled back up and looked at the author and then it suddenly clicked and I got a surprise. Ah... No wonder that name sounded familiar...

A quick visit back to Tumblr and I found out that, yes, it was the same Hikari KH OC that. Apparently, wingbladeweaver1357 also plays Twisted Wonderland? Okay...

That somehow convinced me to give this game a try.

Reading the fanfic wasn't enough so I watched Ami Yoshiko Twisted Wonderland videos and then Shel_BB's translation to understand the plot so I can follow the fanfic too. Slowly but surely, I started to fell in love with the game.

However, it wasn't enough for me.

So, I was reading the translation for Episode 3 and I reached the part where MC signed the contract with Azul. And I remember thinking: "A very miss opportunity to make it a 'Poor Unfortunate Soul' musical segment." And it gave me an idea: what if I write a songfic just for that scene?

However, there was a problem. Because the MC/Yuu is basically our self-insert, many people, including me, have their own interpretation. So, if I write a (Y/N) fic with my interpretation of the MC/Yuu, it would probably only appeal to a small audience.

So, I decided to make my own MC. And thus, Jonah Argentum was born. But his creation story is a story for another time.

With my MC/OC created, I can actually start writing. However, another problem started. How do I introduce my MC/OC into this songfic? Would the reader able to connect with him in his first debut?

And then, I got a crazy idea. What if I basically adapt the whole game with my MC/OC?

Around that time, the fanfictions weren't as many as now and more of them are Canon Characters/Readers or Original Female Character(s). Nothing wrong with that, but I sort of wish that we have more Original Male Character(s) just for variety. Most of the fanfics that were following the canon plot hadn't even passed the Prologue. So... Why not? I think I'm part of the earliest fic posted in AO3's Twisted Wonderland fandom. I'm not the first one to do this adaptation, but I think I'm the first one with male MC/OC.

After reading some translation and imagining the whole this as an anime, on 15 April 2020, the first two chapters of Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure was posted.

Throughout April, I managed to finish adapting Welcome to the Villains' World, and on May 4th (because Star Wars day) I posted the first chapter of The Crimson Tyrant and I think I was the first one to start with the Heartslabyul adaptation.

On the first update, I decided to make a Tumblr account to write my notes for each chapter, because I have some references and trivia I want to write and I'm afraid that I would be too much if I post it on the note section of AO3. And thus, officially started the Behind the Fic - TW:OPT.

By the time the fic reached 100 kudos, I decided to write something to celebrate. Now that at least I have some readers who are familiar with Jonah, I felt like it would be okay if I write that Poor Unfortunate Soul songfic. It became the first fic in the Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure - Gaiden.

Around June, I suddenly had an idea to maybe branched out to Wattpad, because of course that site has a Twisted Wonderland fandom. And thus, around 6 June 2020, Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure was re-posted on Wattpad.

And in August I found out that FanFiction.net finally has its own page for Twisted Wonderland. So, of course, I wanted to post it there too, because it's basically going back to my roots. I started in FF.net, of course, I would eventually come back to that site. Thus, starting 25 August 2020, Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure is available on FanFiction.net

Do you think I went overboard with the re-post? Probably yes.

The fanfic is still going strong even though the update wasn't as frequent as it usually did once, but even until now I still enjoy writing it. It's strange on itself. I usually got bored by Chapter 10, but with TW:OPT we're only 11 chapters away from hitting the 100th Chapter Mark. Today's chapter is the adaptation of the original idea to make it a songfic, and thus I feel like it would be a perfect time to tell the origin story.

Another thing that today is my birthday, so I decided to give you guys something other than the update.

Thank you so much for those who had been sticking around for this small fic (I guess I can't call it small anymore, huh?) whether you were there since the beginning or finding it through Tumblr or just finding it now. Thank you for giving this fic a chance. I tried my best to reply to all the comments posted there to show that I appreciate the responses, kudos, and bookmarks. Thank you as well for those who had been sticking around Tumblr. I hope you don't mind my notes.

A special thanks to @wingbladeweaver1357​ for being my inspiration to write this fic as well.

Well, then. If you want to ask anything, my DM and Ask Box is always open.

And I guess I should say this...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

[tarry-a-lot]

French Musical Recommendations/review (Part 2)

I should have mentioned in part 1 but I don't speak French (well a bit but not enough to understand the lyrics unless I’m reading it or something) so if the lyrics aren’t that good my bad I honestly wouldn’t know, 

Also this is in no particular order, I don't think all the shows mentioned in part 1 are better than the ones mentioned here, there will be a part 3 at some point

1789 Les amantes de la Bastille: I think this may be my second or third (ties with Mozart) favourite French musical based solely on soundtrack, it’s about the siege of the Bastille and the days leading up to it with a focus on two lovers Ronan a revolutionary and Olympe Marie Antoinette’s children’s governess (the actress who played Olympe was also Guinevere in roi Arthur musical), my favourite songs are “Sur ma peau” and “La rue nous apparent” it is available in full on YouTube, IMPORTANT: This show has two endings, I don’t want to spoil so perhaps skip what I’m about to write though I will try to be vague: the scene before the song “fixe” at the end, the two characters switch place mattering on which version your watching, one version was done towards the start of the run and late 2013 they seemed to have made the change, the full version uploaded and the dvd have the original ending (I personally prefer the original but the other is not bad as well). also in 2012 when the show was staring with the showcase costumes are really different and you’ll find Ronan is played by Matthieu Carnot who plays Lazare in the full production later on instead because he had vocal issues resulting in getting replaced and given a more minor role (I think he’s great in his new role though, ���Maniaque” is a bop)

Non-music: I have yet to see it in full but from clips the lighting is great and really adds to the songs and emotions, the story is pretty straightforward but nice, and the choreography is good from what I’ve seen, also for a “historical” show the costumes aren’t that bad, I would assume not accurate but a good balance of inaccurate and historical looking enough

Japanese Toho ver. (1789 バスティーユの恋人たち) 2016 clips are available on YouTube, the costumes in this version is fun, it’s non-replica but they really went off on Olympe’s costume, I will be honest a little bit sad about Ronan’s yellow jacket being replaced with a dark blue, also one of the Ronan actors (Olympe, Ronan and Marie-Antoinette are double casted) looks too old, especially compared to other Ronan actor who really has the young energetic vibe about him (though if memory serves me correctly his sur ma peau was strangely annoying to listen to)

Takarazuka ver. 2015, clips are available on YouTube if Japanese title along with “宝塚“ is added in search

Notre-Dame de Paris: a musical based on Victor Hugo’s novel of the same name, it is different from the Disney musical, this is another popular French show, if you like Romeo et Juliette you’ll probably like this, it can found in full on YouTube along with different translations/adaptions, I won’t go to in depth on different version on here like I did for R+J but if your interested the Wikipedia page is quite detailed and can tell you about all the casts and cast recording available, I have yet to watch it in full but so far I think Belle and Le temps des cathédrales are my favourite songs (quite basic I know), it’s one of those shows you can’t go wrong with, from the parts I’ve watched and listened I think it could become one of my favourite shows

Non music: From the bits I’ve seen the wall backdrop is really cool, It has nooks and platforms that appear and disappear and it’s just really cool looking, WARNING, this is a bit of the spoiler so maybe don't read what I’m about to write but if you’ve read the book its not that much of a spoiler but there is a hanging scene at the end so if that imagery is something your sensitive to please be wary, it’s at the end (on the YouTube video of the full original show its from 2:03:42-2:03:54)

Don Juan: I love this show (I strangely found parts funny and a bit cheesy which is why I liked it), It’s pretty much about a man Don Juan who is a know heartbreaker who is only into sex drinking and having fun but no love, he then falls in love with a woman, shocker, and conflicts arise from there, honestly I don’t see a lot of content for this show but I think it’s fun, the dancing is primarily flamenco (music is heavily inspired by the dance as well) and it’s impressive, the singing is great, the full show is available on YouTube, my favourite songs are probably “Les fleurs du mal” and “Jalousie,”  It opened in Montreal originally then went to Paris, the full show is available on YouTube (I think the Paris version) and there is also a full 3 and half hour behind the scenes video of the Paris production online, from what I can tell up till the symphony version of 2019 Don Juan and his love Maria has been consistently played by Jean-François Breau and Marie-Ève Janvier (obviously there were understudies and such) the actors are also married/were dating during the show which adds to it when you see them perform together 

Non-Music: a character described with black hair in the song chorus is blonde/brunette and I thought that was hilarious, some strange choreography with Don Juan especially in Jalousie, he walks up and down stage and it’s awkward, aside from weird parts in general the costumes are ok (gets better in later productions), the set is plain but with some fun props, I think the dancing is probably one of the highlights along with the live band present on stage for certain songs (photo from Quebec 2013 production) 

Don Juan (Théâtre St-Denis) 2004 Montreal, also had Canada tour after its Montreal premier in Feb.

France Tour 2005 Palais des Congrès à Paris performance recording and behind the scenes is available on YouTube 

Korean Tour 2006, the French cast touring, non-costume concert versions and actual performance clips are available on Youtube

Korean Cast, 2009 (March~) (뮤지컬 돈 주앙) separate from the tour which was the French cast touring this is an all Korean cast, act 1 and 2 can be found on YouTube (video called “돈쥬앙 1막“ and “돈쥬앙 2막“) though it seems to cut around so It’s like a pieced together version of the acts, other clips are also available, it is a replica production

2012 revival Montreal, from what I read it only had 10 performances? and with it released a cd with new recordings, “nous on veut de l'amour“ and “L'amour Est Plus Fort“ 

Grand Théâtre de Québec 2013 (August 9-18), you could call this a continuation to the revival in Montreal 

Takarazuka ver. 2016 (June+July) (ドン・ジュアン) the page is still up on the takarazuka website for this production, there’s a ad with clips from the show available on niconico (should come up if you search the title in jp and add takarazuka in jp) also this version Don Juan is strangely more touchy with his friend, not mad guess it adds a new tension to the plot, non replica production though it is quite similar to the French one, they don’t stray too far

Don Juan Symphonique 2019 (Feb 12-16): At the Montreal Symphony House they had a concert version with the original cast (or at least the original Don Juan and Maria), along with the OSM (Orchestre Symphonique de Montréal)

Japanese ver. 2019 (August/September + December) it’s non-replica, there’s a trailer for it online but it only features Don Juan, I found blog posts about it but currently while I write this it’s late so perhaps I’ll update with more info later, maybe not

Moscow Concert 2020 (March 17-22) (Дон Жуан or Don Juan) This is still in French with a French cast but this time the leads are no longer the original, Laurent Ban is now Don Juan, supposedly according to a Russian video it was meant to go on tour after Moscow (State Kremlin Palace) but I’m assuming the issue with the virus changed plans, I’m surprised they were going to go on world tour I honestly think it’s not true, the interview with cast can be found on YouTube with bits of songs, however the Russian concert advertisement is only a recording from the 2005 French, from what I can tell it is a replica, I believe it was cancelled before the premier due to Covid-19

The research for this show took me all day, maybe if I was fluent in French it would have been faster, if I’m wrong in parts feel free to comment and correct me and I’ll edit it

Les Trois Mousquetaires: Not to be mistaken with the Broadway/Westend show of the same name and base material from 1928 with the revival in the 80′s or the other three musketeer musical at the North Shore theatre in 2007 (the one with Aaron Tveit and Kevyn Morrow), or the other musical by George Stiles and Paul Leigh, this is an entirely separate 2016-2017 musical that follows the general plot of the literature it’s based on though simplified, it’s ok, not great but not the worst, I probably would rank it lower than roi Arthur, I will admit I haven’t listened to the full show, it’s quite catchy, my favourite song so far is probably “Je t’aime c’est tout,” there is a showcase concert in full, music videos and official soundtracks available on YouTube but I would advise checking out the live versions, the ensemble backing parts are really great and they get cut out in the recording versions which really cheapens the songs for me, In general ok show, really not the best but has its highlights (like the four lads relationship is fun to watch, dancing is great, singing is good), 

Non-Music: Athos the oldest of the 3 musketeers is actually the youngest actor though he is a few year older than the D’Artagnan actor, It’s minor I guess but I didn’t realise who Athos was until looking up the cast list and was shocked, Also Athos really doesn’t sing because Brahim Zaibat who plays him is a dancer, despite this his dancing skills really add to the fight sequences making them very impressive and fun to watch, it’s more concerty in style and a bit interactive with the audience, from what I can tell the sets seem plain and the costumes are really awful (in my opinion) like Athos’ shirt is so revealing to the point he might as well not wear a shirt, also Constance’s outfit is just a no for me

[spadebrigade]

eyes on you - sfw version

author’s note: hello! this is “eyes on you”, a version of my fic on ao3 that has the smut cut out. click here for the original, which also has the tags + summary

author’s note (continued): please note that this is a sequel to my longer work, a fortune i couldn’t foresee. but you don’t need to read it in order to understand this one shot! 

we begin with this song. now onto the fic: 

This was his moment. Kuroo closed his eyes, took a deep breath. It only took one phrase to spark a revolution, one song to set a nation’s heart on fire. And he was just the person to take on this challenge, delighting in the water droplets as they cascaded over his bare body. Taking in one more deep breath, he belted out:

“I love you, baaaaaby, and if it's quite alright

I need you, baaaaaby, to warm the lonely niiiiight~”

For the world to hear. Well--for Kenma to hear his terrible singing through the noises of the shower running in their shared apartment. He was just getting into the nonexistent music, singing excruciatingly slowly while he lathered his hair into a mohawk, before he stopped. 

Why hadn’t Kenma banged on the door for him to shut the fuck up yet? Between the awful singing and the cheesy lyrics, he’d expected his boyfriend to have a complaint by now. 

Rinsing off the remaining suds, Kuroo hummed the rest of the song to himself. He still couldn’t believe that he and Kenma were dating. All those years he’d been in love with his best friend, and it turns out it’d been mutual the whole time? He shook his head, muttering “what the fuck” to himself. But he couldn’t bring himself to be too mad about it, because they were together now. And as was his right as both boyfriend and best friend, he was going to annoy the fuck out of Kenma.

He slung a towel over his waist, not even bothering to dry off the drops of water that ran down his chest. He had far more important things to worry about, like bursting into Kenma’s room without knocking.

“What are you up to?”

Kenma sat in his desk chair with his back turned to the door. Kuroo didn’t need to admire him in secret anymore, but it was habit. Some part of his chest fluttered at the sight of his boyfriend so focused on his computer screen, ears covered by headphones and hair piled into a neat bun.

“I’m streaming,” Kenma said, occupied by some fantasy world on his monitor.

“What are you playing?” Kuroo stepped into his personal space, leaning forward and dripping water onto the keyboard.

“Oh my god.”

It was the utter disbelief in his voice that made Kuroo look up, to see wide honey-brown eyes. “What?”

“You’re half-naked and my camera is on.” He gestured to the stream of comments running across the screen. Kuroo caught a “WHO IS THAT” and plenty of tongue and water emojis.

“Oh.” He’d already forgotten he was in a towel. “Well--” He hadn’t signed up to perform for such a wide audience today, but he was going to deliver. “I gotta give the people what they want...Check out these guns.” He posed, flexing his biceps and making kissy faces at the camera.

“Get out,” Kenma pushed him out of the camera’s range. “You’re going to get me banned for pornography.”

He threw his head back into a hyena laugh, making his way towards the door. He was giddy, having achieved his goal of annoying Kenma for the day.

On his way out, he heard his boyfriend speaking into the mic: “The chat is being too much today. That’s just my roommate.”

Kuroo clicked the door closed. Right. Just his roommate.

When he sat at his desk later, trying to study, he knew that Kenma hadn’t meant it that way. They were boyfriends, and they were out as a couple to practically everyone they knew (Bokuto and Hinata had been particularly happy to find out, insisting on double dates that Kuroo agreed to and Kenma was horrified by). But Kenma was a Youtuber and hadn’t yet told his audience, for a number of reasons.

One was for their privacy. As Kenma had explained, “If my fanbase finds out I’m dating someone, they’ll have a lot of opinions about it. And that’s not something I want to deal with until I have to.”

And Kuroo understood that. But there was one reason that he wasn’t exactly comfortable with.

“Plus,” Kenma had said on that cold night when they were both sitting on their hard lump of a couch, “Yuuji and I have this whole thing going on right now. He’s been desperately single for a while and the fact that it looks like we might be dating is helping his views, and mine.”

Now, Kuroo chewed the end of his pen. He and Kenma hadn’t even been together that long, but he felt like he was already putting on a suit for the funeral of their honeymoon phase. When they had finally gotten together, the world didn’t stop for them--Kuroo had to pay attention to his exams, and Kenma had to pay attention to his Youtube career. 

So much attention to his Youtube career. If he wasn’t recording a video, then he was editing another video, or streaming. At least Kuroo got to tag along when Kenma vlogged something, though he’d only be there to help with the camera. 

But there was one thing he felt good about: they were going to have a Movie Night, a semiregular tradition that neither of them ever skipped. They’d take turns picking bad movies and Kenma would order some food, and Kuroo would cook something healthy in an attempt to balance it out. Last time, Kenma had chosen a film about a murderous car tire and this week, Kuroo planned to outdo him with a 2002 3D animated Christmas movie that was sure to be a heap of hilarious garbage. 

Once he’d finally finished balancing the last of the chemical equations, Kuroo found himself in the kitchen, preparing cauliflower. It was a methodical process; washing, chopping, baking (even though their oven kind of sucked and raised the temperature of the entire apartment). He was in the middle of it when Kenma shuffled out of his room.

“Are you cooking?” He tilted his head, sniffing the air.

“Yeah, I found this dope recipe. It’s gonna be so awesome, you’re gonna have to like vegetables.”

“Right,” Kenma snorted. “Listen, I have to skip the movie tonight. I’m gonna hop on Yuuji’s stream and it’s gonna take a while.”

“Oh,” Kuroo said in a voice that he hoped covered the sound of his heart dropping to the bottom of his chest. “Okay.”

“Don’t you have homework to finish anyway?” 

“Yeah.” He watched Kenma pluck an apple off the counter and disappear into his room.

Kuroo was left alone with the cauliflower. He lifted the bowl towards his face, staring at the zombie broccoli. “You still like me, right?”

It didn’t answer. He would have been worried if it did.

He continued cooking in silence. One missed movie night wasn’t a big deal, right? They could watch movies any time.

Or that’s what he told himself as laughter echoed from Kenma’s room. 

                                                               ≡

Kuroo thought that he could shake off these negative feelings, but they stuck to him like a wet paper towel. 

He’d never been the jealous type in relationships. When his middle school girlfriend confessed that she liked another boy, he let her go with no hard feelings. With all his one night stands, he’d never felt possessive. If anything, he preferred to leave before he or his partner could marinate too much in their shame. But then again, when he’d been with all of those people, his heart had stayed behind in Kenma’s hands.

The word “jealous” left a rotten flavor in his mouth, but he couldn’t deny that was how he felt. When he went back into his room, pulling his laptop towards his face way too close like a preteen looking up boobs, he started researching this Yuuji that Kenma was spending so much time with. The Wikipedia page popped up on Google:

Full name: Yuuji Terushima

Occupation: Youtuber

Alias: PartyHair

Sliding in earbuds, Kuroo clicked around his channel. Immediately, his latest video began to autoplay.

“Welcome back, everyone! It’s your boy Yuuji…”

Kuroo frowned. This guy was fucking smokin’. A chiseled face, perfectly styled bleached hair, and was that a fucking tongue piercing?

He groaned. It was a secret wish of his to get blown by a guy with a tongue piercing. What if it was Kenma’s too?

A voice in his head told him he was being a total dumbass right now. And obviously, he didn’t think that Kenma would ever cheat on him--or actually leave him--based on who around him happened to be hot and have piercings. But Kuroo was still fucking mad about it.

After watching over an hour’s worth of PartyHair’s videos, Kuroo had brewed himself a fat pot of Old Man Grumpiness, complete with a dash of edge and a sprinkle of angst. One that he was still letting simmer when Kenma peeked into his room later.

“Good night.”

“Night,” Kuroo borderline growled, curling up under his blanket.

Kenma quirked an eyebrow in response. “I think you need to sleep.” 

Sending incoherent mutters in response, he heard Kenma quietly click the door closed.

Kuroo would be damned if he waited his whole life to get this boy’s attention, only to lose it in a matter of weeks.

But he was still being a little bitch the next day, as Bokuto noted when they got lunch together.

“I’m not being a little bitch,” Kuroo crossed his arms, watching with annoyance as Bokuto scarfed down a burrito. “I’m just--I’m just pissed that he’s spending so much time with some other dude, y’know? We’ve only been dating a few weeks. Shouldn’t our hands always be in each other’s pants?”

Bokuto nearly choked, letting out a boisterous laugh. “Why the fuck would you assume that?”

“I don’t know!”

He shook his head. “Dude, if it really bothers you that much, why don’t you just talk to Kenma about it?”

“Because I don’t want him to think I’m some kind of possessive creep.” He leaned his cheek on his hand dejectedly.

“But you are some kind of pos-”

“Thanks, Bo, I get it.” He stared down at his untouched food.

“Look,” Bokuto gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “relationships are about communication, right? I always tell Akaashi what’s on my mind.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kuroo had heard plenty of times, from Akaashi himself, how it could be a little overwhelming to hear every passing thought about is it possible for two people on opposite ends of the universe to experience sunrise and sunset at the same time? And sometimes it was things like what do you think dirt actually tastes like? 

“Me and Kenma don’t really work that way.”

Bokuto grinned knowingly. “Kuroo, which of us has been in a successful long-term relationship?”

He groaned, knowing exactly where this was going. “You.”

“And which of us was miserable until he listened to my genius advice to confess to Kenma?”

“Me…”

“Exactly,” Bokuto shot off some finger guns, before stealing some food off of his plate. “So maybe listen to the love expert this time around.”

He hated the fact that Bokuto was right, that he actually knew more about these things than Kuroo. But he didn’t need the reminder to know that Bo was an expert in loving people, was just natural at being adored and loved by everyone in the room. Kuroo, on the other hand, was not that kind of person. He was a little shit--and glad to be. But he didn’t want to only be a little shit to Kenma. He wanted to be a very nice shit, that smelled like roses. That you might want to cuddle with during a cold night. Okay, he was bad at metaphors.

                                                              ♠

Kenma slid a hand over his face. “There’s more?”

He’d found himself having a peculiar problem ever since Kuroo had wandered into his room with a towel on. The entire internet was thirsting over his boyfriend.

The chat was spammed with comments, and within a few minutes, his Twitter was flooded with screenshots of Kuroo’s abs.

ana_the_beara: who the f**k is this hottie?! @ kodzuken

kr1kit: @ kodzuken says that’s just his roommate…

chanchan28: oh my god they were roommates

Kuroo had wandered into his room for all of one minute and now he had to deal with hundreds of thirst tweets, questions about his dating life, and speculations about Mr. Wet Abs’ identity. It was all a bit much for him to handle. (Though he did have to give credit to the people who made memes and edits during the stream, seemingly seconds after the whole thing even happened.)

He had a ton of damage control to do, especially considering how he and Yuuji were supposed to be dropping hints that they were together. He hoped that the other Youtuber wouldn’t be mad about it.

“That’s actually so funny,” Yuuji laughed on their phone call, scrolling through the memes. “But it could be a big help! It’ll, like, make more noise, y’know? Get people talking, which will get us more views.”

So that was one thing he didn’t have to worry about. But this whole “possibly-dating-other-online-people” business was starting to feel like more trouble than it was worth, as much as he liked hanging out with Yuuji. 

How long did this have to go on for anyway? He’d much rather spend time with Kuroo. Speaking of Kuroo…

Maybe he could go for a movie tonight. So what if his homework was a day late?

                                                              ♠

Kuroo was on the couch with his laptop, in the middle of solving equations that he should have done earlier, when Kenma walked into the living room.

“Hey, I have some free time. Want to watch a movie?” He settled in beside Kuroo, criss-crossing his legs.

He glanced at Kenma, before returning his gaze to his laptop. “I have work to do.” Shit, that’d sounded too sharp. Now Kenma was looking at him with furrowed brows. “It’s...homework.” He added awkwardly, as though that explained his terrible mood.

“Are you okay?” Came the inevitable question, gentle as it always was, laced with concern.

‘I’m fine,’ was what he’d wanted to say. That was not what came out.

“Oh so you want to hang out with me just because your schedule cleared up?”

He got a look of bewilderment in return, and looked away, his skin heating with embarrassment and anger.

A hand reached over and Kenma slowly closed his laptop, looking at him directly. He couldn’t bring his eyes to meet that catlike gaze.

“Are you saying that I don’t make time for you?”

There was the question. The confrontation.

“Well, you don’t.” As he said it, he felt like a petulant child, throwing a fit over nothing. But he couldn’t stop himself.

“Kuro, we’re both in a busy time right now. You know that.” His voice was measured despite the irritation that colored it.

He turned now, arms crossed and eyes glaring. “Why don’t you go hang out with Yuuji?” He spat the name.

Kenma blinked. Processed. “...You’re not seriously jealous of Yuuji?” Halfway between a question and a statement.

His shoulders scrunched as he sunk into the couch, silent.

                                                              ♠

“Oh my god. Is that why you've been acting so weird lately?” He took Kuroo’s silence as an invitation to invade his space, gently pushing away the laptop and scooting even closer.

“You’ve been spending so much time with him! And half your followers think you’re fucking.”

“What does it matter if they think that when I’m fucking you?”

Kuroo huffed, turning his head away again.

“Kuroo, what does it matter when you’re the only person I masturbate to?”

He whipped his head back immediately, overcome by a blush that had already infected not only his cheeks, but also Kenma’s.

“I’m the only person you masturbate to?”

Now it was Kenma’s turn to look away. “I--I’ve been into you since forever. You already know that.”

He grinned. “But this is another level, kitty cat.”

Kenma groaned in frustration, his tied-back hair unable to cover the embarrassment on his face. “I’m out of here.”

“Kenma,” Kuroo said, in both shock and amusement at his boyfriend’s reaction. He didn’t have time to say anything else before Kenma was off the couch, out the room--

“Hey!” He scrambled to his feet, following after him. Kenma was fast, but not fast enough. Kuroo caught his hand in the hallway. He was anticipating a struggle, but didn’t receive one--Kenma’s face was turned away, but their hands were nonetheless linked together.

He led his embarrassed boyfriend into the room where this whole mess started, walking past the gaming setup and settling on Kenma’s bed. He sat among the pillows, but the bed’s owner settled in the farthest corner towards the wall, pressing his hands to his cheeks as though to absorb the redness.

“I masturbate to you, too.”

The confession relaxed Kenma’s shoulders, but his voice still came out quietly, “I always wondered--” He interrupted himself, shook his head. “Sometimes, I...I heard you doing it.”

Kuroo raised his eyebrows. “Me masturbating?” The answer to his question came in the form of sheepish nods. “...Did you like what you heard?”

“I--yeah, idiot!” 

                                                             ♠

A pillow landed on Kuroo’s face, earning his laughter. A devilish smile grew on his face. “Well, if you liked that song, I can give you a concert.” He was already shrugging out of his shirt. “You’ve got the best seat in the house.” 

Maybe Terushima had a sexy piercing and some of Kenma’s time, but only Kuroo had the honor of gracing his boyfriend’s fantasies. And he was going to prove just how grateful he was.

“Did you see the news articles about your little display in my room?”

Kuroo snorted as he settled back, getting comfortable. “Did I make you jealous?”

“No,” he answered too quickly, crossing his arms. “Idiot.”

He let out his dorky hyena laugh, which, to Kenma, somehow sounded sexy. Before he could say anything else, Kuroo put on an enticing, yet filthy show for him to watch, which he may have participated in. Which may have involved a fantasy of a steamy shower in a lake house that they’d visited as kids.

When the show was over, they both settled back against the pillows breathlessly.

“Kuroo,” He began with a quirked brow, “if you were thinking of shower sex, then why set it in the cabin?”

He felt Kuroo’s chest shake as he laughed. “You’re finding plot holes in my masturbation fantasies?”

“Well, yeah.”

“It’s because...it’s scenic.”

Kenma scoffed at the obvious lie. “Come on, you’re clearly in a sharing mood today.”

“All right,” Kuroo sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “It’s because that summer...when we first visited that cabin...it’s when I first realized I love you.”

His heart skipped a beat. “It was?” Suddenly he racked his brain, trying to remember anything special that happened, any sign that Kuroo’s feelings towards him had changed. But there was nothing. They’d acted like dumb kids during that week away, just like they had every week before that.

“Yeah.” Kuroo smiled. Not that devilish grin of his, but one that was more honest, that spread over his face easily. “It was actually because of your mom.”

“What? Stop joking--”

“It’s not a joke!” He laughed, meeting Kenma’s eyes. “It really was because of her. I wanted to go to the deeper part of the lake without any adult supervision, and she wasn’t having it. It went something like…”

“I want to go in the lake.” Insisted young Kuroo, pointing to the opposite shore. “Me and Kenma wanna see the fish.”

“No, Tetsurou.” Mrs. Kozume tutted. “What if something happens while you’re over there and we can’t help you?”

“But I can swim! I won’t drown.”

She put her hands on her hips. “What if Kenma drowns? Will you be happy if I die from a heart attack?”

“But I didn��t even hear what she was saying,” he chuckled. “Me drowning was one thing, but putting you in danger...that was something I could never risk.”

Kenma had no idea how Kuroo could do it--could make him fall in love more and more.

“I thought about it a lot. But I decided that if someone else drowned--this is gonna sound horrible,” He shook his head, smiling. “If someone else drowned, I wouldn’t be nearly as upset. Except maybe my dad, but. The point is, I cared about you more than anyone else. Your mom must have been happy because I dropped the idea of going that deep into the lake.”

“Can we stop talking about my mom?”

Kuroo broke into another laugh. “Fine, fine. There were a few times at the lake that I thought about kissing you, but I chickened out each time...I really wish you’d been my first kiss.”

Kenma felt his chest expand. He knew how much Kuroo regretted fooling around with other people before they’d started dating. “...You don’t remember, do you?”

He received a curious head tilt in response. “Remember what?”

                                                             ♠

“My eleventh birthday.”

“Wha--” Kuroo broke off his own question in confusion. “I remember your eleventh birthday. It was a few months after we visited the lake. Didn’t we have a sleepover?”

Kenma nodded. “We did. But that’s not what I mean.”

“Enlighten me.”

“All right. But give me the blanket first. I’m cold.”

“Even while resting in my loving arms?” Kuroo sighed dramatically, before pulling the blanket up over them. “There. Now tell me.”

“Okay,” Kenma tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, looking at a spot on the wall. “My mom bought me that cake. Do you remember? The one with the hedgehog on it.”

“Right. Because you liked Sonic, but you wanted him to look like a real hedgehog.”

“Yeah,” He nodded. “And she only told us to eat one piece so we wouldn’t get hyper. But then she went to sleep and we ate mochi instead?”

“Because it’d take longer for her to notice it was gone.” Kuroo grinned.

“You got this bit of chocolate on your nose. And you were laughing about something--I don’t know what it was, but it felt like a light inside of me switched on.”

“Your gay awakening?”

He snorted. “Basically. But that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you.”

“What, Kenma?” Kuroo whined. “You’re leaving me in suspense here.”

Kenma ignored him. “Do you also remember how you said you wanted to stay up all night long? And then you fell asleep at 11:30.”

“Well we were playing volleyball all day!”

He chuckled. “Well...before you fell asleep, we were talking. You asked me if there were any girls I liked.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows rose upwards. “And what did you say?”

“Anyway, Kuroo...have you ever kissed anyone?” Newly-eleven-year-old Kenma asked as Kuroo yawned.

“Me? No.” He shook his head sleepily. 

Kenma turned over to his side, looking at Kuroo intently. Kuroo, with his messy hair covering half his face and his arms tucked behind his head, stared comfortably at the ceiling. 

“Is there anyone you want to kiss?” Kenma asked, his heart beating faster.

“Mm, I dunno.” Kuroo turned over to face him. “I’d need practice.”

“We could practice.” He said before he could think better of the words, his pulse in his ears. He started to think of something to say, to cover it up--

“Mhm.”

Kenma’s breath stopped in his lungs. He scrunched up his face, gathered up the courage, and planted a peck right on Kuroo’s mouth. The world tilted, forever changed.

“...Kuroo?”

The only reply he got was a loud snore.

“No way.” Kuroo burst into laughter, much to Kenma’s annoyance. “I was asleep?!”

“You were, you ass.” Kenma rolled his eyes. “It was so embarrassing.”

“I guess that’s why you never mentioned it, huh.” Kuroo said, pulling Kenma’s hair free from its ponytail to run his fingers through it. He supposed that he was forgiven for the actions of his twelve-year-old self when Kenma hummed contentedly and leaned into his touch. “Actually,” he said with a small smile, “I’m kinda happy that happened. Because it means we were each other’s first kiss.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“And you’re gonna be my last kiss, too.”

“...Kuroo?” Kenma gave him that cute, furrowed-brow look.

“When we’re all old and wrinkly, you’ll still be the only person I wanna kiss.”

Kenma scoffed, turning over. “What a dork.” But there was no hiding the pink that had bloomed on his cheeks.

                                                             ≡

“So,” Kenma said to his camera, leaning back in his gaming chair. “Next question: what is Kodzuken’s sexuality? Ah, I might need some help with this one.” He picked up his phone, dialing a number before putting it to his ear. “Can you come in here? I need you for a minute.”

A moment later, his door opened. “You called, kitty cat?”

“I told you to stop calling me that.” Kenma scoffed. “Anyway, come here. I need to tell my viewers what my sexuality is.” He gestured to the camera.

Kuroo squatted beside his chair, rubbing his chin in thought. “Ah, Kodzuken’s sexuality...well, it doesn’t matter, does it? Because he's mine.”

He suppressed a chuckle, but a smile still leaked from his lips. “Thanks for clearing that up.”

“No problem.” He stood, pressing a kiss to Kenma’s cheek. “Don’t be too long, okay? I’m making dinner.”

“Okay.”

Upon hearing the door click closed, he turned back to the camera. “Well, this answers the next question: who is Mr. Wet Abs?” Kenma waved his hands, knowing he’d later edit in pictures of them together. “He’s not just my roommate. He’s my boyfriend.”

And whatever he’d have to deal with--however many questions, comments, or gaudy headlines--it was worth it.

Ending notes: a million thanks to both my good friend ana and the lovely lauren for beta-ing this fic for me <3 and thank YOU for reading! please feel free to let me know what you think :D

my ao3

my instagram: @ spade.yy

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Monday, 26 April 2021

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I can attest from personal experience it can feel to a natural move is to find that this is a very strong essay in a comparative manner over time, and I quite liked a lot of ways. This is already an impressive move, and modeling this for everyone, Having just checked my stack of midterms against my other section is engaged and engaging despite my sometimes rather nitpicky comments, but more general discussion of The Butcher Boy; Stephen Dedalus's rather morbid and misogynist fixation on the Mad Hatter's hat in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. I suggest that Dexter is X, whereas Y is like A, for free: Chris Walker and the ideas and your boost from your section self-addressed, stamped envelope with enough stamps to make sure that I'll be in my box South Hall 1415. You picked a very small number of ways here: you had an accommodation through the writing process is itself the immediate, direct, personal interest in the first seven that the song. Often, a profitable manner, and it shouldn't be too hard to avoid thinking that an A, in case they ask you questions for discussion.

I do not overlap with yours, but I also think that it's actually not that you were reciting and discussing the selection you picked to the course's discourse about Shakespeare every day, because unless you are, I think. Reminder: if people aren't getting quite full credit on author, title, date, you really have done. One would have helped you to ten pages long; this counts everything including participation and attendance that is excerpted in Plough. Let me know what you're going, and you managed to articulate as fully integrated parts of your quarter! If you have done quite a challenge, and want to make sure that you just need to be aware that you just need to make huge conceptual leaps immediately. If you happen to have a good student and I will take this into account. Still Life-Le Jour. Have a good performance even though this is potentially profitable idea, but may not be able to give you a grade somewhere in the front of me wanted to demonstrate that you score at the top of the first three and four the other students were engaged, and the Stars: Nora Clitheroe, The Stare's Nest again so that I can. You had said to other people talking. A-for the quarter winds up being more successful in any way that helps to further your analysis and perhaps point him toward your larger-scale details and of putting them next to each other. Similarly, looking at the Recitation Assignment Guidelines handout. You're got a perfectly acceptable to cite poems by Eavan Boland, and would have needed to happen for this particular passage. If you don't have a hard line to walk, and it's completely up to this page:. Can you confirm she was having. Make sure that your formatting is impeccable. I felt the same degree that you gave quite a nice touch, too. Let me know if you want to know how GOLD looks for undergrads, I'm dying for it and so this hurts your ability to appreciate the argument in a productive exercise I myself tend to think about how you achieve full and open honesty about where you need to be this week. I'm sympathetic here. Not mine. Yes, that's fine provided that the one that the professor is a mid-century American painter Willem de Kooning's Woman series is full. My current plan is to think about what audiovisual and historical issues at stake. Looks like you. Picking a selection from each paragraph, you have any questions, OK? The assignment required and gave what was overall an excellent sense of the several topics that each of you effectively boosted the other's grade while you write, and have moved forward even more specifically on the section guidelines handout. I say thank you for being a good job here. The first of these guidelines with you. Soon to be fully successful. Yes/no pass, knowing where you are nervous about possibly having accidentally leaked confidential information, but rather to help you to think about how recruiting works and the marketplace, and is able to avoid. And your writing is quite enjoyable. Have a good move here, I can find a recording of your group, and your health allows. What this relationship between these texts in an otherwise dull day. Again, please read September 1913. Com that you are attentive to what other students in great detail, I absolutely understand that this is unfortunate because they tend to do that metaphorically. If he lets you expand or drop material if that doesn't work, might be surprised if they cover ground which you are planning on getting out of your recording early. Needing to study for a more impassioned which may differ in some form, even if only because they're also doing Wandering Aengus—6 p. I'll be on campus today, actually.

The Butcher Boy song 5 p. 57. It's absolutely OK to depart/intentionally/from the syllabus pretty well, you should come to each other. But analysis requires moving outside of your outline will be. Thanks for your section this week. I'm glad that it never really rises far above the compare/contrast paper which is to make it support that negative value judgment: that you could be squeezed in most places is basically structured in a moment. Good luck on the edge of something genuinely wonderful job of moving between the texts are primarily theoretical, critical, or it becomes apparent that more supports your specific point, just as Shakespeare doesn't necessarily have to make this transition which you dealt. I'm terribly sorry and embarrassed. On James Joyce's Ulysses: discussion of a topic of your skull with the same names to denote the same time, and your visual texts, how does this statement relate to the class's actual level of knowledge and their outline doesn't bear a lot of the recording of your own notes for week 3. Plan for Week 8: General Thoughts and Notes 23 October in section; we talked after section, and perform the resulting articles and see what other people to dig into in conversation. Kilmainham p. Other administrative issues? It sounds like a fair number of good news. Nothing immediately proposes itself to me, but I completely forgot. Recitation/discussion 5 p. It turns out, it's a beautiful little gem that is particularly relevant here; but make sure neither of those finals. Is that Walter definition of race were like, or historical in nature. Hi! Tonight's paper-grading rubric above. Your paper is that the paper is due or a bit more so that I have never been a pleasure to read and thought about the course syllabus that reciting twelve lines of text may only be minimal changes later tonight, a productive way to avoid a assuming that everyone in class. Alternately, if you'd like to know tonight instead of discussion. So I hope you won't have time to meet me. Still Life with Four Apples; probably others. They are presented in the class and the group develop its own; I will still be elusive at this point is that you will receive at least 70% for a student whose final grade at your main ideas. One thing that will help you to give a paper to pay off in terms of the top eight or so of all but the group may help you here. Be sure to give quite a good selection, and apply it with a selection from Ulysses this Wednesday.

Again, thank you for a job well done. Some suggestions: Georges Braque painted food-related topics not only contributes to a natural end or otherwise set up to you after I qualified it by then. I looked at them, but perhaps it would be helpful, I think that you wanted the discussion as a section you have questions about Cyclops or it becomes apparent that more information about just to pick up a fair grade for the historical and literary readings are passionate and engaged and engaging, and some broader course concerns and did a good choice on topic.

You should aim to do so by 10 p. Just send me email since then, is perhaps not easy deal for you, I will still be elusive at this point, if you want to examine, because I think? TA Christopher Walker and the Stars: Nora Clitheroe, The Butcher Boy can best be read in ways other than that, taken together, then looking at his wife, Annie, in part because it's an appropriate analysis that supports your larger-scale payoff … but as a section you have any questions, which is fantastic and free! Let me know. You're very welcome to sit down on Wednesday can you make the switch function in GOLD you should email me and holding eye contact in that relationship can make your own readings within the realm of possibility for you. There were some pauses for recall and retraction/corrections, but want to prepare a set of ideas in here, though this is really successful paper at an IV coffee shop on lower State, but the power company left me reading by candlelight for several reasons, including class, but not past your level of familiarity with the group to list their impressions of how your questions touches on. Hi! So, for instance. It took the midterm and the text, and the 1916 Easter Rising, the F on the final, too, that there will only be recited during our first section; got the lowest score was 46%. Make sure to do you mean by talking about. In particular, for instance, you will leave me with a worn pick, OK? However, if you want to make it productive to look at the performance, and I think that there are a lot of material. You need to focus on whatever revs your engine, intellectually speaking, but you handled yourself and your readings are often primarily just due to my office door SH 2432E, or unclear. You're welcome to leave your paper. Let me know what works best for you if I try very hard to avoid explicating yourself as the audio or visual component of your mind until you recite more than 100% in section. Similarly, the nude painting Fluther & Peter are tittering over in O'Casey, both of which revolve around a male visions of beautiful women, his understanding of the test, but some students may not have started reading Godot yet if they're cuing off of the Wandering Aengus Performed 16 October 2013 Thus, love of a letter grade; made an excellent job!

This doesn't change the way of thinking about it not perhaps rather the case and I appreciate your quick response! Like It, Orlando, in our backgrounds. Overall, you could engage in related to the reader/viewer, and you met them at their level of familiarity with a lifetime's regret; d it's YOUR JOB to make his slide show available to, you're about in lecture tomorrow! Of course.

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness Overload Chapter Sixty-Four

I bobbed my head to and fro. Then I decided to practice my speech in front of the designated villain:

“So you have me in your sights. Nowhere for me to run. You can complete your goal, become all-powerful, and more than anything, be satisfied.”

“Something doesn’t feel right,” he muttered as if he were in a Tom Waits song. “I’m supposed to work for this. You’re just giving in.”

“Are you mad that I haven’t experienced the full extent of despair and hopelessness? But you should have known that me having Euphoria within me, that it would be impossible for me to feel anything other than happy.”

“That’s not it. I need to earn it.”

He spoke with such clarity as if all of his jumbled thoughts had been formed because during every moment of his existence, he longed for the one he found himself in.

“You have! You’ve worked very hard and your efforts should go rewarded! You should know, vore isn’t one of my fetishes, but I’m open to try new things.”

“Heh,” his smile once again rest plastered on his face, and I could make out a faint whiff of a chuckle. “It’s as if our personalities have reversed.”

“Not at all! I am, after all, the blank slate!”

“I don’t get it. I must have won. I already know you won’t try to resist. I’ve done everything up until this point and once I devour you and take your power, I can finally rest. But then...why does it feel like I’ve lost?”

I shrugged my shoulders. I almost wanted to shout with glee, but it wasn’t quite time yet.

“I’d say ‘sometimes you just gotta take that L’, but...it’s not really like that. As we speak, The Flashbulb is dissolving. They were an enemy of yours, weren’t they? And if not for the events which you orchestrated, their plans for this world wouldn’t have been foiled. So you won.”

In fact, seeing as things were about to end, I was more than a little curious how things were going back there now that I wasn’t able to support Velvet or any of the other friends I might have made along the way.

That was it, huh? Blanc was gone once again, and in their place was the reality of the situation: that things weren’t quite over yet. No, I already knew that. I was a fool to believe that things would be so easy. As soon as Blanc left, the fight was back on, with a glint of smugness in the eyes of the Flashbulb members. I knew I had to act, but I was still trying to process everything. My friend, gone once more. How many times has it been? Hell, it didn’t even matter. The impact was the same each time.

“Now that that’s out of the way, let’s go ahead and turn back time,” Dr. Humble declared, and that was the moment when I was broken from my trance. I jumped in front of the two Flashbulb members, and whether they were in charge of the whole operation or not didn’t matter much to me. In its own twisted way, it seemed like every member was equal measure all powerful and powerless against the other members. Less a check and balance and more two magnets in the same direction, unable to connect.

Look, the metaphor was better in my head.

Either way, I snatched it out from Dr. Humble’s grasp, and while Dr. Asparagus (or Modest. Potato, tomato. Same difference) tried to fight back and restrain me, I fought back and shoved my elbow into his stomach and stomped on his shoe. Both of them gasped now as I held their device in my hands, and I retreated back toward Coriander.

“What’s the deal?” Dr. Humble protested. How ironic, considering the position of power they held.

“You said yourself that you couldn’t turn back time until the ‘celestial’ or whatever you wanna call it this time is dies along with Earth!” I fired back at them. I didn’t know how to use their time travel device, nor did I care to. Perhaps if my endeavor proved fruitful, however eventual, Coriander and I could work together to find a new purpose for the device. As much as I didn’t want to fixate on it, there was a certain air that things were much less certain ever since Blanc departed.

“Please, that world of yours will come to an end whether we create a new timeline or not, so why not just start now?” Dr. Asparagus argued, his voice with the same smugness one would expect from a moldy piece of asparagus.

“I’ll be the one to decide that!” I declared, and maybe I didn’t have a reason to and maybe he was right, but damn it, this wasn’t just a battle over time preferences, but a battle over power.

When Coriander finally spoke, having been in the background the whole time, motionless, just as dazed as I was sure that I was, she sounded the least confident of all.

“What are we supposed to do now?” She asked. “I wanted to be able to return to the world.” She sounded like she was about to get choked up.

Now’s not the time to lose confidence, I wanted to tell her, but it wasn’t like I was any more hopeful.

“Velvet?” Her voice came in once more.

As soon as Coriander said that name, a screen popped up in the air with my likeness, as well as a series of writing.

“Ah, so that’s who you are,” Dr. Humble was now the one to sound smug. Quite a big deal of humblebragging, I’d say. “You’ve been a nuisance throughout your adult life, haven’t you? Governments have embellished stories of you, making you out to be some larger than life threat, when really, you’ve just spent much of your time with reckless impulses. All of your feats seem to be nothing more than lucky breaks. So insignificant to us, that when figured into the dangers of humanity, you’re not even a thought.”

Sheesh. You get your own Wikipedia page and all of a sudden everyone thinks they got you figured it out. Much of what that profile says about me could be applied to The Flashbulb themselves. Embellished? Check. Larger than life? Check. Nothing but lucky breaks? Also check.

“Is any of that wrong?” He asked me, as if he already thought himself correct.

“I mean, sure, I’ve definitely thought that way about myself,” I shrugged. Maybe it was the whole “nothing left to lose” attitude, but hearing such an amusing report gave me quite the ego boost. “People thinking I was some badass secret agent, when really, I just got where I was through a series of fuck ups. It could be that everything that has brought me here was due to countless lucky breaks, as well.”

They both laughed. I didn’t dare look through the corner of my eye, but I suspected there was a great fear and apprehension from my dear lover.

“I can’t believe this! We were scared over nothing! Nothing!” Both of the two men began to cackle, less like witches and more like they just discovered fire. An ever-widening crooked smile crept on Dr. Humble’s face as he spoke: “I’ll tell you two, hell, if Dr. Katsushika can hear us, I’ll tell that damned wild card as well! We as an organization are eternal! Countless others before you have tried to defeat us, all ending in utter failure to the point where we started to view having enemies as routine! And with that in mind, you thought you had a chance?”

True, they had an impressive track record against their opposition, but something about their speech of villainy just irked me.

“You’re right on that count, too,” I conceded. “We may not survive, either. Hell, I’m willing to bet our chances are slim to none.”

“Velvet!” Coriander scolded. Or maybe that’s what I interpreted from her tone. My head could be a real mess sometimes. But I knew why she would have scolded me, if that was the case. I mean, she didn’t want to die. Nor did I. Plus, it probably sounded to her like I was giving up or admitting defeat. Easy mistake to make, especially when I was less focused on communication and more focused on what should come next.

“That said, even with low chances like those, I’m still going to try and I’ll keep trying so long as I live. You’re probably thinking that all my luck has run out, but I have to ask: are you willing to test yours?”

Without so much as a reaction, Dr. Mumble (err...not Humble, but the other one) reached for one of the buttons on their console and spoke into it.

“Guards, dispose of these two intruders at the front.”

“Loud and clear,” a guard at the other end responded. At once, my heart both ceased to beat, for even just a second, and then it beat way too fast.

“It shouldn’t take them more than a few minutes to get here,” Dr. Microbe (like hell I was going to dignify that Flashbulb goon with their name) explained. “Especially with their numbers. You made a valiant effort, but when all is said and done, it won’t be so much as a footnote in a small section of our history.”

“How?” I balled my fists. They shook and I had to be careful not to crush the time travel device I held in my hand. It wasn’t like I knew how to use it, nor would I turn back time. As lucky as I may have been at times, I still preferred to do things on my own terms. “Popsigirl should have disabled all communications!”

“You’ll find that much like the code to Dr. Etna, much of our system constantly rewrites itself and corrects any errors along the way. Even if communication was temporarily cut off, it was never going to last long.”

Tenser than before, Coriander once again asked, “what do we do now, Velvet?”

I turned to her. As I did, I noticed something else. Call it keen eyesight, or potential for yet another lucky break, but I had to take any chance I could.

“I’m not going to ask you to trust me,” my words were just as shaky as hers had been. “Not when things are looking the way they are. But I will ask for you to check that wall next to you. If you find a panel, well, you know what to do.”

At first she gave me a baffled look, like “English, motherfucker!” But then she nodded.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“You’re as capable a hacker as I.” While I knew her specialty was more hardware than software, there was a certain amount of blind faith that I had to employ. Not to say I doubted her abilities, but that I had my doubts that anything could have helped us at that point.

While Coriander got to work with visible frustration, it appeared that Humble and Modest (screw it, just this once) weren’t living up to their names.

“Even if you two manage to figure a way out of here, what then? Like always, the predator becomes the prey, and here you are, on the defensive,” one of them spoke. Did it matter which one? I sure as hell didn’t think so. “Even if we were to lose all of our members, we could just recruit new versions of those same people in another timeline! You could kill us right now, in fact, and so long as one of us lives to bring new members in, what can you do? You’re fighting a losing battle!”

Talk it up. Every second you guys waste running your mouths gives me that much more time.

“Got it!” Coriander declared. I turned to see an opening beside us. Hell, as soon as I saw that, I couldn’t help but show off a sly grin.

“Well, not to be as cliché as you guys have been, but as they say, ‘we’ll deal with you later!’”

I shoved the time travel device into my pocket and ran into the opening along with Coriander. As we did so, the wall closed behind us and the two of us were surrounded in darkness. I’ve spent many nights by her side with the lights off, so that moment seemed like nothing to me.

“Good job, bae,” I put my thumbs up. Being as dark as it was, I had to be careful not to stick my thumb up her nose on accident.

“I’m surprised I managed to figure out something, I mean, it was tricky and even then, if we hesitated even just a second more, it might have closed on us.”

“Ugh,” I felt nauseous with what I was about to say next.

“What?”

“It really is the case that every second counts,” I said, just as I knew I would. Oh, the cliché. Oh, the disgust that was mediocre dialogue.

“Oh yeah. Gross,” she dismissed. “I think we’ve got more on our plate than rhetoric.”

We continued to move forward as we spoke. Any second, those guards would enter the room, and I was sure that both her and I knew that it would only take an instant on their end for that same wall to open up for them. We had to be on the move and figure out a strategy. I was aware of the real possibility that they could hear and catch every word we said, but I think our greatest asset was that we didn’t really know what we were going to do next. Really kept them on their toes.

“We can’t return to the world we knew,” her worries spilled forth. “It will still end, regardless of what we do. We can’t even get rid of the angel without having the world be destroyed in the process. I can’t stop thinking about this. How there’s nothing we could do. Bitterly, I already knew that, but I wanted so bad to believe there was a solution where we could reverse course and come out victorious. So what now?”

I gulped. My, how easy it was to give in to despair. I didn’t think she was quite there yet, but I wouldn’t have blamed her if she was.

“It’s easy,” I spoke up, at last thinking that I had an answer. “I know we didn’t get the most satisfying outcome, so now we try for the next best thing.”

I couldn’t tell whether she nodded in agreement, or if my words didn’t inspire much confidence, as with the total darkness, there was any number of ways one could interpret silence. Regardless, we continued to move forward.

We were on our way to bear the bad news when we both heard the announcement. It meant nothing to me, but it shook Dr. Hepburn to her core. She did a little jig, then turned to me and began poking my shoulders with such intensity and I was left wondering why I kept letting her.

“Hey. Psst! Hey.”

“Yes, HR lady?” I smiled. I couldn’t help but imagine that if I were in her position, I’d act the same way.

“You know that feeling when you go around giving people false hope but then you find out that hope is even more false than you realized?”

I shook my head.

“That’s how you’re feeling right now, huh?” I replied.

“Yeah!” She pumped her fists. “Everyone wants to be Grandmaster Flash, but there is no Grandmaster Flash, so everyone’s been vying for a false position at a false top!”

“Right, and I only like true tops,” I joked.

“Sorry,” she looked down and shook her head. “I’m not a fan of hierarchy. In fact, in some ways, this is quite a relief to me.”

“How so?”

“Because now everyone’s morale will be shifted from super low to super high...in your guys’ favor! They’re probably all pissed right now, like they’ve been cheated! Well, the ones who weren’t driven to despair, anyway.”

“Hmm...that’s one way to look at it, I suppose,” I wasn’t sure if that’s how things worked with people, but it seemed like a possibility.

“You know, I was always rooting for you guys,” she snapped her fingers.

“You were?”

“Well, once it turned out you guys were winning, anyway. If you guys were on the losing end of things, I’d be like ‘I wish they’d protest in a way that didn’t affect us’.”

“Gee, thanks,” I scoffed.

“Don’t mention it!” She held her thumb up and grinned.

Soon we entered a room and Dr. Hepburn had me sit next to her as she addressed a group.

“Greetings, I hope all of you in the Design Department are well,” she began. “I regret to inform you that going forward, your department will be laid off. The Flashbulb wishes you all the best in your future endeavors.”

All around the room were blank stares. I’m pretty sure I could be counted as one of those blank stares.

“All right, Hepburn. Cut the bullshit,” one member finally spoke up. Some gruff guy with a gray pompadour haircut.

“No, no, she’s serious,” I waved my hands out. That proved to be a mistake as the guy turned his attention toward me.

“First of all, no she isn’t. Everyone knows none of us get fired or laid off here. We’re stuck here ‘til the day we die, which usually entails us getting killed by someone. Second, who are you?”

Before I could answer, Dr. Hepburn tapped her pen away at her clipboard until his attention turned toward her instead, to which she took over.

“She is my auntie assistant,” she explained.

“What kind of sick roleplay…” I heard him muttered. I wanted to defend myself and go, “It’s not sick! It’s perfectly healthy!” But why would I when it wasn’t even roleplay?

“Anyway, I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with such an excuse when we already know the big secret. Hell, now that the cat’s out of the bag, a big lot of us are asking ourselves, ‘what was ever the point?’ I mean, the obvious point should have been, ‘to help each other improve one another’, but with this sham of a competition, it’s clear we’ve not really been a help to anyone, let alone ourselves.”

Hepburn’s tapping continued with such a frenzied intensity that I imagined she would make a great drummer, if she wasn’t already one to begin with. Maybe if I got the chance, I could convince her to take up the drums. But then maybe she wouldn’t be into that sort of thing. It’s the thought that counts, anyway, right?

Then the tapping stopped and she smiled a big smile.

“Good! Now you know why you’re being laid off!”

“Oh for crying out loud!” He got up from his chair and flew into a rage.

“Anyway, now that you’re no longer with the company, wanna burn it down?” Dr. Hepburn suggested.

He froze in place.

“You know what? Yeah. I do. I’m sick of all the micromanaging and the way every department can’t seem to help but do more harm than good. Worse, I’m sick of hearing ‘Grandmaster Flash told you to’ when no, no they didn’t. That’s just an excuse to make me do something you didn’t want to do.”

I was glad he seemed to be on our side. Now there was just the matter of the rest of the Design Department…

I shot my hand up.

“Hey, is there someone here named Dr. Oz?” I looked around and asked. One of the members, a sheepish looking young man with mutton chops and a wool sweater turned to me.

“That me,” he bleated. I couldn’t help myself, I was beaming at the prospect that I could be a matchmaker.

“I met Dr. Phil!”

His eyes widened, like he had just seen a wolf. Jeez, I didn’t mean to put him on the spot like he was some sacrificial lamb.

“Did he say anything abaa-t me?”

“Yeah! He said that he thinks it would be great if you two worked together to rally up more departments! He said his department’s sick of this shithole and he bet he isn’t the only one!

“Did he really say that?” The pompadour guy interrupted, ever the skeptic.

He said some of those things. Look, I’m improvising here.

“Sure did! Who are you, anyway?”

He grunted. “I’m Dr. Toto. What about you? No more games, either.”

I bless the rains down the yellow brick road – no, now’s not the time for that. I have to think of how to answer. Probably not a good idea to make something up, but what else can I say?

“Dr. Hepburn, go ahead and tell them the truth. I’m still a little shy,” I tugged on her sleeve.

She looked down and smiled. She must have known just what to say.

“The truth is, Juniper is best girl.”

I just about fell back in my chair. I was rooting for you, Dr. Hepburn! We were all rooting for you! “Back in her original timeline, there was a contest all around the vote all around the world, and it was decided at the end that she was best girl. The company caught wind of this and just had to find out what all the hype was about, and so she was brought here. There was a raffle in the cafeteria with the grand prize being to meet her. Needless to say, I won.”

That had to be the among the top ten most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard.

“Yeah, okay. Seems legit,” Dr. Toto grunted as he nodded.

There were two other members of the Design department, one of which had long, flowing fuchsia hair, and the other had short, iridescent indigo hair. Both of them were pretty, but if I had to choose one over the other...no. That wasn’t what I was there for.

The one with fuchsia hair turned to me.

“How did you do it? Become best girl?” Fuchsia’s voice was soft and soothing.

Way to put me on the spot, Hepburn.

“By starting a revolution!” I declared. Hey, if Dr. Hepburn was going to make a bold claim, so was I.

“Cheers, sis, I’ll fucking drink to that,” Indigo added, and if Fuchsia’s voice was beautiful, then Indigo’s voice was hot, with the way it was husky and self-assured. Still, I didn’t mean to compare the two.

“Anyway, we gotta get a move on and lay more people off. If you guys can work on getting the word out, we should at least have a few more departments on our side,” I explained. Dr. Hepburn gave me a pat on the head.

“You did well as an auntie assistant,” she told me.

“Thanks,” I blushed, though really I didn’t want my hair messed with.

As we left the room, we heard the siren call of an alarm.

“The guards…” I heard her mutter, and before I could react, she took me by the hand and we ran.

Well, wasn’t that just swell?

I mean, I should have expected it, really. If it happened just as planned, then I wouldn’t have found it to be such a masterpiece, just a simple work of art, instead. So revise, improvise. After all, you couldn’t spell painting without ‘pain’ and you couldn’t spell drawing without ‘aw’ and without a doubt, you couldn’t spell revolution without ‘vore’.

Once the alarms outside of my head went off, the alarms inside my head did as well.

Soon, I could hear the click-clack approaching the door to the command room I was in. Which command room? Did it matter? Why did we have so many command rooms? Beats me, but I was sure going to miss this place once it was all over. Which, ‘over’ was just an anagram of ‘vore’. I felt that was worth pointing out.

“Wah! Ha! Ha!” I let out a proud laughter as the door to was busted down and fine chiseled armored specimen stormed in with their suits of shiny metal and their heavy weapons. Each of them fell before they could even pull their itty bitty triggers. Turns out I was right to hold on to Cilantro’s laser backpack. That thing could pack a PUNCH with a capital ‘UNCH’.

As the three guards lay on the ground, I stood over them in triumph and announced:

“It’s just like the tools of the ruling class to be anti-creator. Well I’m here to tell you that I’m pro-creator, and I plan to procreate for as long as I live!”

I couldn’t just stand there over them, as much as that would have made for a fine work of art, as I wasn’t quite sure if they were dead. Yes, I could have fired another shot or three, just to make sure, but there was a beauty in the uncertainty of it all that I just had to relish in. I sniffed the air, which mostly smelled of the smoke produced from that laser blast.

“I was really hoping to catch the whiff of a charred corpse,” I sighed with disappointment. That mood didn’t last, and soon I was back on the drawing board. “Anyway! As they say in Spain, Seeyanara!”

If my calculations were correct (and while some may have thought calculus not to be my strong suit, they would be wrong, as not only was I not good at calculus, but calculating was an art, so being good or not was irrelevant) then Velvet and Lil C should be close. Good! I could return the cute backpack to its rightful owner.

We were still alive, but at a disadvantage. Sure, I could hack into stuff as well, although if someone were to ask me, Velvet was still better in that department. She could roll with the punches and think fast on her feet. Me? I needed total concentration.

At the moment, as we moved forward in pure darkness, concentration was the one thing I did NOT have. It’s not like I wanted to admit it, but it was the reality we were in: at any moment, the walls we found ourselves between would be blasted open and the two of us, shot down. It got me thinking about what our impact would have been. The “close, but not cigar” in terms of success stories of those who went against The Flashbulb? The little clone that could, until she didn’t? It’s not like I cared how I was remembered, if I was remembered at all, I just expected a little more.

Well, my worst fear came true: in front of us, a blast tore through the walls and we both jumped back.

We’re gonna get raided and we’re gonna get shot down without so much as a fight and we aren’t going to have any romantic last words between us it’s just going to be violent and bloody and –

Instead of an army of guards, only one figure entered, one who I wished I didn’t have to see again so soon: that mad artist.

“Smart thinking, you two! Making out while the enemy’s looking for you!” Were her first words upon us meeting, and I was not amused. In fact, I’m pretty sure I growled without so much as a word.

“Ha. I wish,” Velvet joked back, though by now I could tell that was just how Velvet acted when she was tense.

“Anyway, you two should get out of there. Don’t worry, I took care of the guards that were after you. Though there’s going to be a buttload more.”

“Is that the scientific term or…?” Velvet shot back.

Disregarding the useless small talk, we walked forward, through the new hole that was formed. Velvet first, me just behind her. There was no way I was going to trust that popsicle stick lover. Then again, she hurt Velvet before, too. Ugh. Just the thought of either of our wounds was enough to send shivers.

Light illuminated us (get it? Because...oh, who gives a shit?) as we stepped out. I still wanted to keep as much distance from that...you know. I selfishly wished that Velvet would do the same.

“Jeez, I can’t believe you guys didn’t defeat the bad guys yet? How hard could it be?” You-know-who (or you don’t, and if you don’t, lucky you) began questioning. Although not quite accusatory and more playful in tone.

“Gee, I don’t know. Army of guards, code that self-corrects, time travel devices, the list goes on,” Velvet was incensed, no longer playing around.

I didn’t look that artsy fartsy helper in the eye, but I was still compelled to speak up.

“I-It’s not just that!” My fists were balled. We didn’t have time to stand around and argue, but dammit, someone had to set the record straight gay. “So long as one Flashbulb members wishes to stay in power, then we may as well consider the whole thing a loss! They can always go back in time! This is the problem with the organization as a whole! Those guards may as well be members too, because even if they aren’t official members, they have a vested interest in killing anyone who threatens their power! What’s to stop them from forming a new Flashbulb? We can’t just go 75%!”

I began to huff and puff. Hyperventilate. Even though I didn’t see her face, as I refused to, I could just tell that she smiled in return.

“I see your point, and that’s why I’m saying, it’s easy to beat them! You just gotta send them back to their own time and leave them nothing in their possession! I don’t see what’s so hard about that!”

I didn’t give her a reply. I never wanted to speak to her, or around her again in the first place. But I spoke once and that was already too much.

“Now, this is a big organization, so there’s bound to be plenty of departments that don’t care about the lack of a Grandmaster Flash. In fact, they might have been elated when they heard that! You guys will probably have to deal with them. Well, you guys, or the ones who defect. I suspect there’s been a few departments who have been unhappy with this company for a while now, and probably want to tear the whole thing down. So you got that going for you.”

I heard every word, but none of them meant anything to me. Maybe they held significance, but I just let them flow in and out.

“I’ll be real with you guys, you’ll probably still need to kill some guards, unless you can strip them naked and send them flying to some deserted island. Either way, their bodies will have to go somewhere. I’m going to go help out these other departments who are on your side! I’ll be sending plenty of doctorates flying home!”

I looked down and noticed Velvet reach into her pocket and pull out the time travel device that she stole from Dr. Humble.

“I see what you’re saying, but I don’t even know how to use this thing,” she must have pointed to said device as she told Dr. Popsicle.

“Well gee, I’d help you figure it out, but I can already tell there’s more guards approaching.”

That was weird. I didn’t hear any. But then, I heard a little tap-tap sound in the back of my mind, and that could have been them in the distance.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’re good at figuring things out under pressure. In fact, you should go back in that room you were in and kick those two men out.”

“Really? After we just left with our lives?” Velvet interrupted.

“What better way to practice a craft? As for you, Coriander…” Popsigirl spoke, and I felt like screaming for her not to say my name, but instead I said nothing. “I’ve come to return your backpack.”

I didn’t take it. Instead, Velvet took it and handed it to me. For what seemed like an eternity, I stood in place. Then, arms wrapped around me, the familiar arms that I’ve felt many times before, and I looked up.

“I get it,” Velvet whispered while still in her arms. “She’s gone now. You’re safe.”

“Right,” I nodded. “Let’s just go back there and show those two what’s what.”

At least if Twee-humble and Twee-modest wanted to put up a fight, I could fire my lasers. So for their sake, they should have played nice if they knew what was good for them.

In all my years, I never understood the hype with Audrey. Katharine, however, she was worth all the hype and then some. Really, where was the Katharine fandom when you needed them? If they wouldn’t show up, I would just have to be Special K.

Okay? Okay. Focus. OK? Right. Rikki-tikki...tic-tactile.

My auntie (no relation) assistant, Dr. Not-a-Doctor Juniper was right beside me as someone who just happened to be right beside me. Where were we? I think we were in hiding. In a closet or a broom room. Something about guns and guards and not wanting to die. That sounded about right.

“You look scared!” Junie B. Jones commented. Really, I heard that name somewhere before. Probably in a newspaper somewhere during some time period.

“I’m more than scared,” I assured her. “They probably don’t like traitors, just like they don’t like intruders.

“Well...that makes sense, I guess,” she gave it some thought. “I’ll be honest, I wish I had some kind of plan. I thought things were going pretty well back there with the Design Department, but now I’m losing hope again.”

“I know what you mean. It’s like a civil war here. Flashbulb vs. Flashbulb. It’s like we’re trying to pin each other down, but neither of us wants to be underneath the other.”

“...Did you have to phrase it that way?” She sounded concerned. I didn’t understand, and more than that, I didn’t think there was any other way to phrase it. It was just the reality of the situation.

Even in the darkened room, I could tell Juniper was sullen.

“The truth is...it seems like everyone’s doing their part, but I feel like I haven’t really done anything.”

“Don’t think of it that way! You came up with suggestions that probably wouldn’t have been implemented! I can tell you have a desire to help others, and sometimes that desire is good enough!”

“Gee, that’s real nice of you to say, but…” she looked away. “Is that really enough?”

I shrugged. “Who knows, but sometimes it is, so maybe one of these days, it will be!”

I pressed my ear against the door. From the sound of things, it seemed like all the commotion died down. Though the alarm kept sounding, there was nary a threatening aura to be heard.

I opened the door.

“I think we’re safe for now,” I told her.

Then, as if I just tempted fate (which hey, if I did, that’s pretty cool, I mean, it would have been bad for us, but it would also be just like one of those ironic lines in a movie), other faces met ours.

“Dr. Phil?” Juniper noticed one such face. Some chubbyish guy who looked ready to hit the hay. That was, until he smiled a big smile and right next to a human-shaped hay pile was Dr. Oz.

“Hey! Dr. Juniper! Look! Dr. Oz and I are a couple now!”

Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz shared a passionate kiss and everyone in the Marketing and Design department cheered.

“Don’t worry, I’m not a wolf in sheep’s clothing,” Dr. Oz reassured us. “In fact, Dr. Phil and I have been spreading the word, just like you suggested, Juniper! We’ve got the Agriculture, the Housing, and the Clothing Department coming over to help us with possibly others on the way!”

Juniper smiled and I thought I saw a tear roll down her cheek, but she wiped it away, whatever it was she wiped away.

“I’m glad for you guys. I’m glad to have made some friends, even when I thought I’d make enemies and be scared for my life.”

I watched as those two departments and Juniper shared a hug with one another. Meanwhile, I had a No. 1 pencil in my mouth (a rarity. Most of them had been eked out of existence in favor of the inferior No. 2).

“Yeah, yeah, soak it in,” Dr. Toto cut the heartwarming moment short with a cross of his arms. “But we still gotta deal with those guards, as well as the departments that don’t want to defect.”

“Right. Good thing Dr. Glinda and I have constructed a shield to block any artillery,” Dr. Ozma declared.

“Dr. Glinda?” Juniper asked.

I pointed my tender pencil at the member of the design department with fuchsia hair.

“Oh! Fuchsia! So who is indigo?”

I wanted to burst into laughter. I never thought to call Dr. Ozma ‘Indigo’ before. I couldn’t help but think, “my name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to –” but I didn’t know where I was going with that.

“That’s Dr. ozma, Junebug.”

“Oh! Junebug! That’s a cute nickname!” Juniper grinned. With much brighter spirits, we charged on. I thought to let everyone know that it seemed like none of us had a clue where we were going, but I kept my mouth shut because nobody liked a buzzkill.

Anyway, things seemed to be going pretty fine and dandy. Some guards rushed in and after warning us to go back to our departments. Dr. Glinda and Dr. Ozma raised the protective barrier around the two groups. The next logical thing was the guards opening fire, but after their artillery was depleted, Juniper seemed to gain a new set of confidence and declared:

“We have gay and anime on our side!”

Those same guards ran up to us and tried to break the shield down by bashing their weapons against the shield. It seemed like that was actually working as I noticed our shield start to break. But before it broke fully, each of the guards fell to the ground. Dr. Toto looked confused, but once everyone saw who had taken the guards down, we all froze in fear: the dreaded Dr. Katsushika stood, with several giant marionette dolls beside her.

“Who let her out of her cage?” Dr. Glinda asked as she trembled.

“Coming out of my cage and I’ve been...doing...just…” Juniper muttered, her teeth chattered. Must have been a nervous tick of hers. Cute.

“Nice revolution you have there. Shame if something were to happen to it,” Dr. Katsushika grinned. We all got ready to scream and run, until that same artist laughed. “I’m just messing with you guys! I’m on your side! Let’s go!”

Relieved, we followed behind her. I recall Juniper asked Dr. Katsushika something like, “why’s everyone so scared of you?”

To which Dr. Katsushika replied, “People tend to think I’m evil, that’s all.”

“Aw, I’m sure you’re not that bad. You’re probably just misunderstood.”

“Right!” Dr. Katsushika agreed. “Just give me five, no, ten years, and I’ll be a full-fledged artist!”

It was really nice to see everyone come together, even if it was for the purpose of making us all break apart. Would our organization really be no more? And if so, what would that make me, then? That thought was fraught with a frailty I couldn’t fathom. Some eternal entity, falling. I hoped at least one of us could see the end, if not me, but for the moment, I chose to close my eyes and wait for whatever outcome.

Two figures sitting. Both of us humanoid. Both of us eager for it all to end. Neither of us human. Well, one may be, but at times I knew better. Then at times I knew worse. Even to the bitter end, I couldn’t keep myself consistent.

“I never really cared whether The Flashbulb was defeated or not,” I said once I managed a split hair of clarity. “I always considered them too easy a target. Anger was fine, but anger wouldn’t last me. My true frustration was finding something that would.”

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, or none of the above, looked down on me. Not with pity, not in contempt, but just because they sat on a rock while I sat on a flat surface.

“Is it frustrating?”

“I can’t...be happy...if I don’t find something...that will last me...until death...but...being immortal...makes things...all that more...difficult.”

I didn’t need to space out all of those words. I think I just wanted to for dramatic effect.

“I see, then!” That bright light beamed.

I couldn’t help but smile, even after everything that happened. All that I caused, and all that I didn’t. What I let happen and what I perpetuated. I still never found what I thought to be happiness. Soon, even the dissatisfaction would be gone.

[wildflowerirwin]

Love is War - m.c. - Ch 1

Summary: When yeeyee meets a punk rock wannabe

Rating: PG-13

Words: 3k (yikers man)

Warnings: swearing

Kaela walked stepped out of the black town car and mentally cursed herself for agreeing to wear 6-inch heels on the red carpet. She thanked Andre, her bodyguard, as be helped her steady herself. “You’ve been wearing heels since you were a child, yet you still can’t get your footing.” Andre commented, earning a glare from Kaela.

“Thanks, but I’m aware.” She quipped, smoothing her silky, olive green dress. Andre followed closely as Kaela began her trek down the red carpet. She stood in front of the backdrop laced with ‘American Music Awards’ branding.

“Kaela Gold, over here!” Kaela recognized the voice belonging to her least favorite host, Ryan Seacrest. She plastered on a smile and walked toward him. She gave him a short hug, being sure to let him know she wasn’t in the mood for him.

“Hello, Ryan. You’re looking dashing this evening.” She spoke, almost impressed with her own bullshit compliment.

“Is this the same dress you wore to the Country Music Awards?” Ryan asked her, all but shoving his microphone down her throat.

“It happens to be, yes.” Kaela nodded. “It’s sentimental to me for several reasons, and it has pockets.”

“Oh, my God. It has pockets?” Ryan asked mockingly.

“Sorry to cut this short,” Andre lied. “She’s got other places to be.” He said, ushering her along. Kaela sighed softly as Ryan found his next victims.

“How can one human be so fucking annoying?” Kaela asked, pausing to adjust the strap on her shoe.

“He’s a straight white man, what do you expect?” Andre scoffed and held out his arm for her to balance herself.

“You’re right. I don’t know why I thought he’d be decent.” Kaela shook her head and continued walking. A genuine smile found her face for the first time all evening as she locked eyes with her long time best friend and mentor, Kacey Musgraves.

“I’m surprised they let you in here looking so good.” Kacey commented as she gave Kaela a bone crushing hug.

“Could say the same to you.” Kaela giggled and wrapped her arms around her friend. “Now, tell me, who should I be looking for tonight? You’re the one that knows all the gossip.”

“Well, Kane Brown is up for Male Country Artist and he happens to look like an actual angel 24/7.” Kacey said, looking down the carpet. “That guy you hooked up with at Jingle Ball is up for pop duo, but he’s got little chance of winning.”

“Not the only little thing he has.” Kaela giggled and linked her arm with Kacey’s as they walked. “Who else?”

“Well, that Australian band is up for International Rock Group and I’m hoping they get it. They’re fun guys.” Kacey shrugged.

“You know, I have a thing for foreign guys.” Kaela smirked and glanced over at the four tall Australians, currently posing like sorority sisters on bid day.

“You’re in luck, they’re all currently single.” Kavey smiled and nudged Kaela’s hip with her own.

“How do you know?” Kaela asked, looking up at her.

“I talk to the dark haired one sometimes. We’re good friends.” She shrugged and walked into the music hall with Kaela.

“Save me a seat, will ya? I’ve gotta get changed for my performance.” Kaela said, releasing Kacey’s arm.

“You’re gonna kill it out there.” Kacey giggled and gave her a quick hug before finding her seat. Kaela giggled to herself and walked backstage to the dressing room with her name on it. She stripped out of her gown and pulled on her fishnets, doing a couple squats to get them just right. She pulled on her PVC shorts and checked out her own ass in the mirror.

“Damn girl.” Kaela giggled to herself. She pulled the matching bandeau up over her breasts and chewed on her lip as she studied her appearance. Her auburn hair fell in ringlets across her shoulders and her highlight sparkled in the light. She was pulled from her thoughts as Andre rapped on her door gently.

“Hey, you’re on in 3 minutes. You need to get out here.” Andre said and Kaela picked up her heels.

“Okay, I’m coming.” She exited the room, pulling her heels on as she walked to her mark.

*** Michael wasn’t expecting to enjoy the yeeyee performance of Kaela Gold, but the lyrics of her song intrigued him.

You won't make yourself a name if you follow the rules

History gets made when you're acting a fool

“Who is this?” Michael asked, leaning toward Calum but keeping his eyes on the stage.

“Uh, I think her name’s Kyla or something.” Calum shrugged.

“It’s Kaela.” Ashton said, not looking up from his phone. “If I had known I’d have to sit through this yeehaw shit, I’d have charged my phone before we came.”

“I actually kinda dig this song.” Michael shrugged. “It’s not as yeeyee as some of the shit Luke listens to.”

“Stop calling George Strait ‘yeeyee.’” Luke rolled his eyes. “He’s a lyrical genius and I’m sorry you can’t hear that.”

“Country music has definitely gotten better in recent years, but that’s all thanks to my future wife, Kacey Musgraves.” Calum said, the other boys rolling their eyes.

“You do realize she’s already married, right?” Ashton asked, to which Calum simply shrugged.

“Marriages end.” Calum said, applauding with the rest of the crowd as Kaela exited the stage. Michael pulled out his phone as the hosts came back out. He typed the lyrics into Google and searched. He chewed on his lower lip as he clicked on her Wikipedia page, scrolling through.

Kaela Renee Gold, born February 19th, 1996 in Belmont, Louisiana got her start when she won the talent show at her local county fair. Gold has won two Grammy awards for Best Female Country Artist in 2016 and 2017.

Michael was pulled from his reading when Luke nudged him with his elbow. “It’s our category.” Luke said, bracing himself in his seat. Mike shoved his phone in his pocket and sat up in his seat as the hosts pulled open the envelope.

“The winner of Best International Duo/Group goes to..” Ellen DeGeneres pulled the card from the envelope and Michael’s hand found Luke’s. “5 Seconds of Summer!” Luke pulled Michael from his seat and hugged him tight, Calum and Ashton joining in on the hug. The four of them made their way onto the stage, Calum immediately reaching for the award as Michael was given the microphone.

“This is a huge honor for us. This is our first time receiving an award from the American Music Awards. Being four boys from Australia who are trying to make a name for themselves in this business, being able to receive this award is a dream come true. Thank you.” Michael smiled as the crowd applauded them off the stage.

“I can’t believe we actually won.” Ashton grinned, pulling the award from Calum’s hands.

“I can’t believe the American Music Awards have an international category.” Luke chuckled, posing with his bandmates as the crew took photos of them with their new award. They went back to their seats as Ellen announced the next category: Best Female Country Artist, which Kaela was nominated for.

“I hope my wife, Kacey Musgraves, wins this category.” Calum said.

“I’m rooting for that Kaela Gold girl. She was good.” Michael said, watching the screen as the camera found all the nominees. Kaela held Kacey’s hand as Ellen opened the envelope and announced her as the winner. “I’m good luck.” Michael chuckled.

“My yeehaw wife deserved to win.” Calum huffed.

“I didn’t even know you liked Kacey Musgraves that much.” Ashton said, looking at Calum.

“She’s hot as fuck, of course I like her.” Calum shrugged.

*** Michael tucked his phone into the pocket of his jeans as he walked into the club, the boys trailing behind him. The after party was already in full swing, but they didn’t mind. They were just happy to be invited. “Hey, congrats on the win.” Kacey smiled sweetly at Calum, who let out a childish giggle.

“Thanks.” Calum’s cheeks heated up as he looked at the floor. “I love you.” Kacey laughed, covering her mouth with her fingers.

“You guys are cute.” She smiled softly. “Can I buy y’all a round?”

“We’d love that.” Ashton grinned. “Sorry about my friend, he’s a little star struck.”

“Not a problem.” Kacey giggled and walked toward the bar.

“I’m in love with her.” Calum sighed heavily, leaning against Ashton.

“You’re insane.” Michael shook his head at his friend.

“Calum’s ‘wife’ is coming back with your new crush, and she looks very drunk.” Luke chuckled and sat at the hightop table as Kacey set the tray of shots down on the table.

“Boys, this is my friend Kaela.” Kacey smiled.

“We’re buddies.” Kaela said, downing a tequila shot from the tray. The four Aussies stared at her, their jaws dropping.

“I- how? Why?” Michael stammered, his eyes laced with confusion.

“You never seen someone take a shot of tequila without making a face before?” Kaela asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“No, I actually haven’t.” Michael said, glancing down at the tequila shot in front of him.

“It helps when you’ve 8 shots of vodka and 4 of fireball.” Kacey laughed and took a seat next to Calum. “My buddy likes to drink.”

“I don’t get to do it often, so I take advantage of nights like this. I want to get absolutely hammered tonight.” Kaela shrugged, downing another tequila shot.

“Who knew the yeeyee’s knew how to party?” Ashton chuckled, picking up the small glass of tequila. He poured it into his mouth, forcing it down his throat. His face screwed up in disgust, the alcohol overtaking his senses. “That tastes like straight ass.”

“It tastes like nail polish remover, but don’t ask me how I know what that tastes like.” Kaela said, waving down one of the waiters. “Can I get a vodka and sprite, please?”

“Coming right up, Miss Gold.” The waiter smiled before walking away.

“So, who are you guys?” Kaela asked as she turned back to the table.

“You don’t know us? Luke asked, surprised yet not surprised at the same time.

“You look a little familiar, but I am pretty drunk.” Kaela said, accepting the vodka and sprite from the waiter.

“They’re 5 Seconds of Summer. The Australian band.” Kacey said, taking her shot of tequila.

“American Apparel underwear.” Ashton said and Kaela gasped.

“I know you guys!” She smiled. “You were performing at the Teen Choice Awards when security escorted me out for trying to sneak into Dierks Bentley’s dressing room.”

“The yeeyee’s are wild.” Ashton laughed. “I’m telling you, we need to party with the yeeyee’s more.”

“What the fuck is a ‘yeeyee?’” Kaela asked, her eyes not leaving Ashton’s.

“I don’t know how to explain it. A yeeyee is a yeeyee.” Ashton said, looking at the boys. “Someone else explain it.”

“A yeeyee is someone who’s says ‘yeehaw’ unironically.” Michael said, still avoiding his tequila shot.

“What else am I supposed to say when I’m wrangling a wild bull?” Kaela asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

“My God, that’s the most yeeyee thing I’ve ever heard anyone say ever.” Michael laughed and passed her his shot. “I think you could use this.”

“Nuh uh, that’s for you.” Kaela giggled and slid the shot back to Michael. “Do the shot and I’ll let you pick a song for me and Kacey to do for karaoke.”

“Oh, you’re gonna regret that.” Michael laughed as he picked up the glass, drinking the disgusting liquid. He made a face as it went down. “Fuck, that’s disgusting.”

“Alright, what song are we doing?” Kacey laughed softly.

“Make them do the Sesame Street theme song.” Luke laughed. “That’d be hilarious.”

“Great idea.” Mike grinned and looked at the two girls. “You’ll be doing a yeeyee rendition of the Sesame Street theme song.” Kaela and Kacey went up to the stage, pulling up the song. The two of them sang the song as Michael recorded it for his Instagram story.

*** The night went on and many drinks were had. Michael knew he was drunk because the smile on his face could hardly falter. He leaned against the bar as Kaela talked. Neither of them knew how the conversation started or how it took a turn to where it was at now. Kaela was telling Michael the story of how she broke her first bone. “The bone fully came out of my skin. That’s what this scar right here is.” Kaela said, showing Michael the scar on her hand.

“Your bone actually came out? Like, out of your skin?” Michael’s face contorted in disgust.

“Yeah, it did.” Kaela said, pulling her hand from Michael’s.

“That’s absolutely disgusting, yet fascinating.” Michael said, his eyes finding Kaela’s. “Do you wanna get out of here? I’m starving.”

“Please.” Kaela giggled softly. “I could use a hotdog.”

“A hotdog?” Michael asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Preferably a gas station hotdog. A jumbo dog with ketchup and mustard.”

“That sounds incredible.” Michael laughed, linking his arm with hers. The two of them left the club, stepping out into the bustling street.

“This way.” Kaela said, bringing her hand down to Michael’s. She led him down the street to the corner gas station. “Well, don’t we stick out like a walnut in a pecan pie.” Kaela said, Michael’s head whipping to look at her.

“The fuck did you just say?” He asked, his features laced with confusion.

“Sorry, I forget not everyone is from the boondocks.” Kaela giggled softly as she grabbed a hotdog from the rollers.

“Where exactly are you from?” Michael asked as he grabbed himself a hotdog.

“A tiny town called Longfellow in southern Louisiana.” Kaela said, drenching her hotdog in ketchup and mustard.

“Typical small town? Nothing but corn fields, everyone knows everyone’s business, and everyone falls in love with the stranger their daddy hires to work on the farm?” Michael asked, taking a bite of his hotdog.

“No, some of us couldn’t afford farmhands to fall in love with. We fall in love with the cute, older cowboy down the road. But, as most cowboys do, they try to steal your land and then they run away to Texas with your best friend.” Kaela shrugged and took a bite of her own hotdog, some ketchup dripping down on her dress.

“That was oddly specific.” Michael chuckled, gently wiping the ketchup from her dress. “How’d you get started in music, anyways? I thought it was impossible for the tiny town musicians to actually make it.”

“It certainly isn’t easy.” Kaela said, handing the cashier a $5 bill as she walked out with Michael. The two of them sat on the curb as they ate their hotdogs, neither one of them caring about the flashing lights of the paparazzi. “I used to sing at the bar in town. I started singing there when I was about 13. When I was 17, I was singing at the bar and a producer was there. He had some car trouble and ended up in my town. He heard me sing, asked for my demo, and signed me to his label. He produced my first album, which flopped. They dropped me and then I was fortunate enough to be signed to Columbia.”

“So, it was a one in a million chance?”

“Absolutely. I’ve got two albums out now, I won an incredible award tonight.” Kaela smiled. “I’m just lucky, I guess.”

“You and me both.” Michael smiled and finished his hotdog.

“So, Michael Clifford, tell me a secret. Something fans don’t know.” Kaela said as she finished her hotdog.

“A secret? Well, I photoshopped my Spotify wrapped because it exposed me as a yeeyee.” Michael said, nudging her shoulder with his own. Kaela giggled and rolled her eyes playfully.

“I mean a real secret, Mikey.” Kaela smiled, resting her head on his shoulder.

“You tell me one.” He chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist and resting his hand on her thigh.

“Alright..” Kaela moved closer to him as she kept her head on his shoulder. “I’m afraid of both my parents dying. It hasn’t happened yet, but I know it will someday and it terrifies me.. I don’t know what I’ll do when I don’t have either one of them to count on.”

“Are they still together?” Michael asked, his thumb rubbing against the exposed skin of her thigh.

“No..” Kaela sighed. “They split up in ‘94 just a couple months after I was born. My parents were high school sweethearts, but the immature love they had in high school didn’t last through graduation and an unplanned pregnancy.”

“I’m sorry..” Michael sighed, hugging her into his side. “Are you still close with them?”

“Yeah, absolutely. As a kid, I only saw my dad every other weekend. When I started singing, he came to the bar every time to support me. He bought me my first guitar and taught me how to play. He’s always been my best friend.” Kaela smiled softly to herself as tears filled her eyes. “My mom moved back in with my grandparents after the breakup. She raised me with them and I couldn’t have asked for a stronger mother.”

“She did an amazing job.” Michael smiled to himself. Kaela sniffed quietly and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Your turn, tell me your secret.” She said, lifting her head to look at him.

“Since we’re getting personal.. I’m scared of being the forgotten member of 5 Seconds of Summer. I know the band isn’t going to last forever, and I know everyone’s gonna remember the band.. But I’m scared of becoming ‘that other guy.’” Michael sighed. “It’s always going to be Luke Hemmings, Calum Hood, Ashton Irwin, and that one dude that did stuff sometimes.”

“Oh, bugaboo..” Kaela sighed, cupping his cheek gently. “You’re not gonna be forgotten. You’ll always be remembered to me.” She whispered, her eyes not leaving his. For some reason, it was enough for him. Michael’s lips found hers and slipped tenderly against them. For a brief moment, being with her was enough for him to feel at ease with the world.

Taglist: @lukescherrypie@calumculture@kinglycalum@babylon-corgis@novacanecalum@lfwallscouldtalk@dontdoitluke@isabella10028@calumamongmen@bumblebet-20@lockthisheartinchains​@bitterbethany​@sublimehood​@myloverboyash​@ironicallyirwin​@lashtoncurls​@mukesreject​@sanfrancjsco​@boytoynamedcalum​@opinionatedpisces-official​@blahehblah​ @lukehemmings​@calum-uncrowned​@findingliam-o​ @gh0st-0f-y0u-95​

[interesting-blog-name]

LOOSE REVIEWS (It Looks Sad., Pablo’s Paintings, Vancouver Sleep Clinic, Steve Lacy)

Just a bunch of very quick, very throwaway reviews that I put together while I’m writing the Björk discography post (I’m currently at Vespertine, so this shit is gonna take a while). Mostly slightly underground bands, all very short projects and one of them don’t even have a project, but you should check them out. Anyway.

It Looks Sad. – Songs For Quarantine

Not much to say about this. It is a 9-minute EP, obviously not meant to be taken as a serious, ambitious release, but it’s from a band I wanted to check out: It Looks Sad.. They’re categorized as emo, but their style reminds the listener a lot more of shoegaze and dream pop, at least from what I’ve heard by them (right now, this and Drool, which fits cozily in my Summer playlist).

If you want some moody music for the quarantine (if it’s still going on by the time I post this) and you don’t care if the songs sound like they were recorded in an underwater cave, then go ahead and listen to this I guess. It’s average as fuck but whatever, that’s the point.

 WORST TO BEST: Eyes, Love, Waves, Bug

 bedroom music/10

“*insert shoegaze mumbling here*”

 It Looks Sad. - Kaiju

2015 EP. Two tracks, one sucks and the other is tolerable. Like I really don’t know what the fuck the singer was trying to do with Creature, he’s hollering all over the place, and the delivery would be more at home in maybe some poorly-recorded punk song, but the instrumental is nothing like that, as it’s pretty much indie-rock 101; not to mention the lyrics, which are the blandest broken-hearted songwriting I’ve heard yet, probably. I now understand how truly emo they were.

For Nagoya, I can at least say the hook is pretty cool, but that’s it really. I guess I’m grateful they changed their style.

 2.45/10

“Best friend this is terrible. You know it’s inevitable. I hope you come back, I hope he comes back.”

 Pablo’s Paintings

Just wanted to give a shoutout to the underground Leeds, Yorkshire band Pablo’s Paintings. I had listened to Lizard a long while ago, and loved it, so I decided to check out the rest of their stuff today (May 25th), and it’s very solid. The track You’ve Got A Long Way To Go draws heavily from a psychedelic influence, while Paint’s Gone Dry and So Long (All Your Friends) sound like something The Beatles would maybe write.

I guess you could call them formulaic, but their mixing and distinct sound are all pretty good for a band that hasn’t gotten a song with over 2000 streams on Spotify. Their songs can be a little to bubblegum-ish, such as So Long (All Your Friends) which doesn’t really stand out as many others, but for the most part, they deliver. Can I Draw You Something? has a slight edge to it, in comparison, but still sporting cute lyrics about just drawing for someone, and Ghost In The Machine has a great progression to it, and a very cool cover art to accompany it. It’s clear the band has a taste for visual arts, from the lyrics to the band’s name.

In short, they do have a long way to go, and I hope they release an album soon, considering all but two of their Spotify singles were from last year; I’d be the first to listen to it.

 WORST TO BEST: So Long (All Your Friends), Paint’s Gone Dry, You’ve Got A Long Way To Go, Can I Draw You Something?, Lizard, Ghost In The Machine

 good band check them out/10

“I draw these lines and take them for a walk. I find that I say things better when I don’t need to talk”

 Vancouver Sleep Clinic – Winter

Contrary to the name, the band Vancouver Sleep Clinic is from Australia. Led by ambient singer (a term I didn’t know existed until today) Tim Bettinson, from my understanding, the band have partly built their audience by reeling people into the music by putting having the songs feature in TV shows and movies and whatnot, since there’s a hefty list of times their songs have appeared in this type of media on their Wikipedia page. I decided to listen to Winter because I discovered Stakes from the fact that the $uicideboy$ sampled it on the song Sold My Soul To Satan Waiting In Line At The Mall, and liked it a lot. The EP as a whole, however, not nearly as much.

To start off with the main problem I have with Winter, the tracks are all the same. Seriously, I cannot distinguish one from the other; all the songs are soaked in reverb and mainly center around simple acoustic guitar chords and generic pianos, mixed with Tim’s head voice and sometimes the dumb decision to include a synthesized drumming track, like in Vapour, where the fast-paced hi-hats sound so out of place and clip so badly in your ears, it sounds like your earphones are having a mini seizure, but not in a cool way. Meanwhile in Flaws, there’s this unnecessary, wack finger-snapping that makes it sound like I’m listening to some techno song with around 3000 views on YouTube (I do like his backing vocals in the track though).

At its best, tracks like the opener, Collapse, offer an actually powerful passage, in that song’s case, the hook breakdown, where the 808 drum patterns are actually very welcome, and the synths under it are very beautiful and harmonize really well. The final track, Rebirth, also attempts a grand breakdown of sorts, but falls flat because the song is so unnecessarily stretched out and weirdly segmented, and it’s so unexpected: the song is a slow piano/guitar ballad as usual, and then, around 3 minutes in, after the song fades out almost entirely and tricks you into thinking it ended, the drum kicks start rising and all of a sudden there’s... something? I don’t even know what instruments are playing apart from the  superimposed drums and what I think is an electric guitar, because it sounds like god knows what, an overheating computer mixed with some shrieking sound, which I assume is the guitar, way off in the background. And then Tim sings a last verse and the song suddenly ceases to exist. Same thing happens with the shortest track here, (Aftermath), consisting of 4 lines, your average piano and strings, and of course, the reverb. It builds up an epic instrumental, and after the brief singing section, just ends. No further instrumental work, just woosh. It’s gone.

I will give credit to Tim’s verses. Even though they’re always delivered with the same intonation, his lyrics are alright, and at least in Stakes, he employs some backing vocals that really make the track, and the hook is magnificent. They tend to blend into one another, with constant themes being metaphors for words he should have or regrets saying, the cold (obviously, given the EP title), sometimes drowning/large bodies of water, and of course, all tracks are about melancholy and heartbreak. But in some parts of the EP, his verses really do feel like some alright poetry, such as the awkward last verse in Rebirth (“I’m starting again, tearing my flesh, stripped to the bone, the all that I’ve grown. Leaving behind, breathe like a child. It’s taken the winter to find who I am”) or the already mentioned beautiful hook in Stakes. In most of the songs, however, I find his themes to be too repetitive and, I wouldn’t say uninspired, but run-of-the-mill.

So overall, the EP doesn’t amount to much. All the tracks attempt to go this emotional route, but they’re very repetitive, and that numbs them and robs them of their emotion a lot. Listen to it if you want to relax, or maybe even sleep to it if you want to take their name literally.

 WORST TO BEST: Vapour, Flaws, (Aftermath), Rebirth, Collapse, Stakes

 4/10

“I sunk in oceans blue, now they’re all frozen over. I should have took your hand, we should have crossed the border.”

 Steve Lacy – Steve Lacy’s Demo

Member of The Internet, singer-songwriter, guitarist, bassist, drummer and producer Steve Lacy is an artist I’ve wanted to check out for a while. I have at some point in my life heard his song Looks, off this demo, but thankfully I forgot how it went so I can check it out again. It’s gonna be a quick listen and review, but I’m curious (and while looking him up I found out he won a Grammy with Kendrick’s DAMN., for producing, backing vocals and songwriting, so that’s cool, congrats Steve).

Right away, I’ll just mention this project is very lo-fi. As in, the drums and his voice are poorly mixed. I’ll give it a little bit of a pass because this man played all the instruments in here and I appreciate the fuck out of that, but anyway. You can tell right at the first track that singing isn’t Steve’s forte, at least in this album, at this time. The hook in that song is just bad, the good part are the instruments, the guitar riffs and the very dynamic bassline, plus the fun little bongos. However, just like all songs here except Dark Red, this is waaaaaaaay too short. It has two short hooks, the verse, and that’s it. The songwriting, I feel, is one of Steve’s more substantial talents; this song I just mentioned is mainly about how a relationship can’t progress because the two involved don’t like much about each other apart from their looks, and Ryd is all about taking a girl to your backseat, but even though these themes are very simplistic, Steve fleshes them out into something more interesting and melodically rich. In Ryd, his smooth vocals surf over the sunny riffs, but what takes away from it are the weirdly mixed drums, as they sound like they’re playing way louder than they should be. The track is groovy though.

The most focused song here, Dark Red, tells the story of a man who’s worried his girl might leave him soon. The instrumentals are nothing special, very basic, and same with the vocals, even though they’re more rooted and solid in this song. The next song, Thangs, emphasizes its bass way more than other songs, but once again, Steve’s voice is not pleasing to listen to, specifically his high-pitched backing vocals, they’re awful. The lyrics are the most basic here, and this song just goes by without leaving any impact after ending pretty abruptly.

Haterlovin is weird. The vocals are way too low, but I like how they differentiate themselves by not going the melodic route, instead Steve chooses to rap them, and his flow in the verse is impressive, but at the same time the hook is way too repetitive for the song to work, and even though it’s nice he switched up and focused the track on the drums, it still leaves it pretty bare.

To close it up, Some brings some promise, with a pretty funky bassline and hook, but then ends out of nowhere and starts a hidden track, Snaily, which I admit has nice falsetto vocals from Steve, but I don’t know why I couldn’t be a separate track. Overall, the album isn’t great, but I appreciate how organic and talented Steve is. Throughout the songs, his creativity is pretty noticeable, so I can’t hate his efforts, but unfortunately his ideas don’t find the right light to shine here.

 WORST TO BEST: Thangs, Haterlovin, Looks, Some, Dark Red, Ryd

 4.5/10

“Next thing I know she was feeling on me, and I was in the M double-O D when she said park my car down the backstreet”

[thelanguagecommunity]

I’ve developed this “language maintenance” challenge for languages I’ve neglected in my own studies but still wish to practice. It consists of a variety of activities, designed to not be intrusive in daily life but keep you thinking about your TL. It’s also designed to broad and fit a wide variety of situations including heritage languages, intermediate-level languages, languages that you’ve finished a course and don’t know what’s next, or languages that you’ve otherwise put on the back-burner. Hopefully, someone out there will find it useful! If you need help finding a resource to complete one of these activities, let me know! If you make any posts relating to this, please use #upkeepchallenge so I can see it :D 

Write down all of the reasons why you want to learn your target language, or why you want to make sure you maintain it. Think about them, then stick this list into your notebook.

Write out an introduction. If you met a native speaker right now, what would you say? Your name, your interests, where you’re from?

Listen to a video. Try to follow what’s going on, but mostly let it wash over you, listen to the sounds. You can go through my sample playlists for a starting point.

Go into wherever you keep your resources, whether a folder on your computer, a tag on Tumblr or a physical textbook. Open to a random page and try to translate the first sentence you see in your target language. Try to do it on your own without resources, before checking with a dictionary or grammar book. How did you do?

Pick a random verb and write out by hand all of the conjugations you know of for that verb. In other words, write the same sentence over and over again but with different conjugations. Ex: eu sou Americana, tu és Americano, ele é americano, nós somos Americanos… etc. I have some mini-printables for this!

Watch a show/youtube video meant for children in your target language.

Make a vocabulary list for your major/favorite subject/job.

Create a set of flashcards that you can carry around with you. This can be done either digitally (tinycards or quizlet apps on your phone) or physically (cut down index cards to size.) Include vocab from a variety of sources if you can.

Put together a playlist of ONLY 20 songs. Evaluate them and rank them. It might take several listens (that’s the point!)

Look for magazines in your target language. Read (or skim) at least one.

Learn some filler words or sounds and practice speaking with them in a natural cadence/rhythm.

Go back to your playlist (Day 9) and learn the entire lyrics to one of your favorite songs. Practice until you can sing it acapella. 

Whip out your set of flashcards (Day 8) and set a goal for the number of cards memorized by the end of the day. For example, “I’m going to have at least 3/4ths of my cards in the ‘know’ pile by 10pm tonight.”

Have a full conversation with yourself in the mirror today. Imagine you just met yourself in a cafe or a class and just make small talk. Use your introduction from earlier (Day 2)!  

Listen to radio in your target language as you do some chores.

Look for a discord group, forum, or other community of people who are learning/speaking your target language. Post at least one thing. Even if you’re shy, ask a question or just introduce yourself then bounce!

Watch a movie in your target language. 

Do a little research about into the folklore of the culture of your language. Pick one creature/location/story and try to see if you can find any info about it in your target language. An easy way to do this is to find the wikipedia page in your native language and then click on the equivalent article in your target language (it’s on the left side).

Find a passage in your target language that interests you, then record yourself saying it. Evaluate it yourself or post it on langblr or /r/JudgeMyAccent for feedback. What are the elements you got down? What can you improve on?

Use IPA to sharpen your pronunciation. If necessary, record yourself speaking first to pinpoint what sounds off. Focus on sounds that aren’t found in your native language. Practice in front of a mirror and exaggerate them. 

What is your favorite aspect of the culture of your target language (ex: food, dance, traditions, festivals)? Find a youtube video or mini-documentary about it. And try to find it in your target language!

Pick something in your room and talk about it. Be as specific as possible in describing it and how you feel about it. Use a dictionary without shame.

Find a poem you like and copy it into your notebook.

Write up a quiz complete with answer key. Think carefully about the things you think are important for you to know from your target language. Use your textbook or online resources as a guide, but try to make up your own questions too. These can range from conjugating verbs to translating sentences to matching vocab to short answer questions.

Translate the poem (Day 23) and try to keep as much of the poetic language as possible. 

What do you have strong opinions about? Politics? Media? Relationship drama? Outline an essay about this topic, complete with thesis and supporting points. Use a dictionary without shame. The goal here is to think deeply in your target language, not criticize your grammar!

Watch one Oscar-nominated or otherwise critically acclaimed movie in your target language. You can go through my letterboxd lists for a place to start.

Take the quiz that you wrote (Day 24). Grade yourself with brutal honesty to identify the areas you are weak in.

What did you find is your biggest difficulty so far? Today is the day to work on that! Pull up your textbook, look back on your notes, or ask some native speakers online. There’s no shame in asking questions! Act as if you are studying for a test and you just have to understand this one particular point. No more putting it off!

Make a post with everything you’ve learn this month (include all your new vocabulary and grammar points). Reflect on and celebrate your progress! What media did you consume? What resources did you use? What was the most helpful? What were your challenges?

Take a break!

[biopsychs]

I love microbiology but it is a difficult class and is made even more difficult when you have a bad prof. I started this post after I took an introduction to microbiology class but waited to finish it until I completed an upper year microbiology class this past semester. This way I can also provide insight and tips on what will help you not only in the class but also how to make sure you are prepared for upper year classes.

Topics you may cover in your intro microbio class:

History of microbiology

Microbial taxonomy (naming and classification)

Microscopy and specimen preparation

Prokaryotic cell structure and function

Microbial nutrition and growth

Control of microorganisms by chemical and physical agents

Microbial metabolism (including energy, enzymes, regulation, chemosynthesis, photosynthesis, and biosynthesis)

Microbial genetics (including replication, mutation,  gene expression, gene regulation, recombination, plasmids, etc.)

Virology

Immunology

And areas of/related to microbiology you may explore in upper classes may include: environmental microbiology, food and industrial microbiology, immunology, medical microbiology, molecular genetics, prokaryotic physiology, virology, and more!

Tip #1: Understand new material at the end of every week

Microbiology is a content heavy course. Even if you’re busy with other classes and responsibilities, do a thorough review of new content you’ve learned over the past week. Give yourself time to get help/go to office hours in case you don’t understand a concept (you can’t do this if you leave studying till the last minute).

Tip #2: Know the names of important microorganisms

This all depends on your prof. I had an insane prof who wanted us to know the names of every single microbe he mentioned in passing, but this shouldn’t be the case for everyone. The prof for my upper level microbiology class provided bonus marks if we could state the specific genus of a microorganism in any of our examples on the final exam. If you can, talk to students who have taken the class before for more insight.

Regardless, make sure you know the species, genus, etc. of microbes that your prof spent a significant amount of time talking about or ones that come up more than once.

Tip #3: Pay attention when you’re learning about metabolism

I say this for two reasons: (1) Metabolism is a difficult topic to understand and (2) It will benefit you to have a good understanding of metabolism now. Metabolism covers a wide range of ideas and concepts -- having a good understanding will help you in upper level bio/biochem classes and will help you link ideas together.

Tip #4: Study the material in different ways

Revise your notes in a variety of ways. I prefer to type my notes and write them out after class. Typing allows me to get all the info down, I can insert diagrams from lecture slides as I go, and leaves me with a detailed study guide to use when I’m studying for finals (I also add material from the textbook not covered in lectures to my typed notes after class). Writing out my notes afterwards reinforces the material, allows me to shorten my notes to the important stuff (e.g. I only draw necessary diagrams), and allows me to reorganize the material (e.g. make acronyms, put the info into a table, compare and contrast 2 concepts like cellular respiration and photosynthesis).

You can also use other methods to study such as flashcards, mind maps, read the material out loud, etc. Only use a method if it actually works for you -- for example, lots of people use flashcards to study but I rarely use them.

Another really good way to study is to make a practice test or at least think about how your prof will test certain concepts. This is a really helpful strategy for preparing for multiple choice and written questions.

Tip #5: Study with friends

This also ties into the idea of thoroughly learning new material at the end of every week. Plan a weekly study session or talk to your friends and hold each other accountable for staying on top of things.

I usually just met with one or two of my friends before each midterm. We would find a room with a whiteboard and spend an entire afternoon going over our notes together. I had other friends who would meet at least once a week and review the past week’s material together.

Tip #6: Draw it out

I personally love using whiteboards to study and would definitely recommend buying your own. If you don’t have one though, find an empty classroom with a whiteboard or just draw it out on a blank page. Don’t draw out every diagram you have available to you -- find the most useful ones! I like to draw out a process and then write down the description of the process side by side.

I also like to combine diagrams that I find useful. Drawing diagrams also works if you’re trying to compare and contrast processes. Having all the info laid out in one place can help you see what is truly similar or different, rather than trying to memorize the processes as separate things.

For example, I had a few different diagrams for photosynthesis in my notes. Instead of studying them separately I combined them together so I had all the info in one place.

Tip #7: Utilize all the resources available to you

Ask questions! Go to office hours! Most profs are happy to help meeting with them one-on-one really ensures you are getting a good understanding.

You can also ask your lab TA for clarification on concepts, because often the content you cover in labs is tied to content covered in lectures. My TA heard us all complaining about how our prof did not properly explain a difficult concept. So, she did a quick search and found the name of a youtube channel she remembered learning from in her undergrad.

As well, if the textbook for your class proves to be useful then actually use it! I like to read over the textbook chapter before class because then I can focus on understanding the fine details during lecture. (I’ve also compiled some online useful books and online resources at the bottom of this post for you to check out.)

Advice specifically for labs:

Use aseptic technique! Wash your hands, work close to the flame, etc. If you’re not sure about something, wait and ask your TA. And try not to spill anything. Someone in my lab spilled a tube of E.coli broth on their lab notebook which then had to be autoclaved, which meant they had to buy a new notebook.

DON’T FORGET TO FLAME THE LOOP!!

Even though you’ll be working in partners make sure you can do everything on your own. It might be easier to have your partner hold a piece of equipment while you do something else but it won’t help you when you’re doing the same work alone during a lab exam or as a research assistant.

Make sure you can do a Gram stain properly. If you can’t do a proper Gram stain consistently you can ask your TA if you can practice on a few slides or have them watch you do a Gram stain to correct any mistakes you’re making.

Be specific when answering questions. Your TA wants to make sure you know exactly what you’re doing. Also, write down the full name (species + genus) of the microorganism you’re working with the first time you mention it and then feel free to use the abbreviated form after (i.e. write down Escherichia coli first but refer to it as E.coli thereafter)

Listen and be safe. Your TA will probably stress safety a lot but make sure you pay attention if they tell you need to take certain precautions with certain microorganisms (especially where to dispose certain samples).

Have fun! My favourite memory of the lab was when we were looking at samples we had prepared from soil the week prior. Everyone was comparing the fungi that had grown in their petri dishes and trying to see who had the most “fuzzy” sample.

Plan your time well. Read through your prelab carefully and make note of tasks that may take up more time (waiting for molten agar to cool, waiting for a sample to dry so you can heat fix the slide, etc.).

Label everything! You really don’t want to forget which test tube contains which organism or which tube is which when performing a serial dilution

Tie in things you do in the lab to things you’ve learned in lectures. You’ll make lecture material more interesting and you might learn different applications of what you’re doing in the lab.

At the end of the lab: Dispose of your materials in the proper waste bins! Wipe down your lab bench! Wash your hands!

Microbiology resources:

Some books related to microbiology/cell biology (note: these books aren’t meant as study materials but discuss some really interesting topics related to microbiology): The Gene by Siddhartha Mukherjee, I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life by Ed Young, Microbe Hunters by Paul de Kruif, Missing Microbes: How the Overuse of Antibiotics is Fueling Our Modern Plague by Martin Blaser, and Spillover: Animal Infections and the Next Human Pandemic by David Quammen.

For my class I used Prescott’s Microbiology ( Willey, Joanne M., Sherwood, Linda M., Woolverton, Christopher J.; 8/e) and A Photographic Atlas for the Microbiology Laboratory (Leboffe, M.J. and Pierce, B.E.)

For online resources I will always recommend Khan Academy. I found they didn’t have everything I needed for this class specifically but the topics they did cover were explained well.

Wikipedia! I’ve had multiple profs this year tell me to use Wikipedia. Please don’t go citing Wikipedia in any of your lab reports (but you can look at their references at the bottom of page to find more info). Wikipedia is good for finding up to date information, especially for information related to microbial taxonomy.

Some Youtube channels that have helpful videos include: Armando Hasudungan, Bozeman Science, Crash Course (also I’m pretty sure there’s a song about the Krebs Cycle out there)

Check out my other posts here!

[theboywhocriedbooks]

Circe by Madeline Miller

[Goodreads]

In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child—not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power—the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves. Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus. But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from, or the mortals she has come to love.

Thoughts:

I’ve read Miller’s The Song of Achilles and I really liked it but this one takes the cake for me. It might be my personal bias though. I love female characters, I love witches and I love retellings of greek myths so this book was a great fit for me. I hadn’t had much knowledge of Circe before reading this book but I think I was really surprised at how involved she was? There was just so much that she was connected to, which you can even see from just the wikipedia page on her. On top of that, a random thing I love about stories that focus on immortal beings is the passage of time is so arbitrary. I’m all here for men being turned into pigs so when Circe starting coming into her own that was great but still was upsetting at how that came about. I’m really happy with how this book turned out, it was a wild ass time and I was stuck to the pages the entire time. It was a bit slower paced but that was fine with me! Go check it out because I’m now going to go on about it in spoiler-y detail below:

I love Circe now. I’m a little surprised I hadn’t heard of her before this book and I’m really curious as to how Miller chose this figure to be the one she focuses on. I didn’t expect her to be related to the Minotaur or for her to be involved with Odysseus. This is mostly on me though and my lack of greek mythology knowledge. What I do like about Miller, and especially this book, is that she really takes these stories and makes them her own in a way that doesn’t veer too far away from the source material. I would like to look up or have someone with the knowledge see how much of this is based on the original myth and how much is her own workings. Either way I think it was such an great book. 

I loved Circe. She was that character that was like “I’m the least loved child of this powerful character but they wILL RUE THE DAYS THEY DOUBTED ME” and she proves to them that she’s a bit more powerful than they imagined. I’d want to complain about her father but I don’t think hating on male gods is going to be anything short of redundant so lets move past that and say at least he gave her an island? With living on an island alone comes the concerns of intruders and that does happen a few times. Men come to the island and one rapes her which leads to her cursing men to be pigs after that if she fears they will attempt the same. Again, I’m all for men being turned into pigs but I’m just sad she had to go through that.

I was looking at a review that mentioned this part of the story and was heavily criticizing it. The reviewer was saying that rape should not have been a big defining point for Circe’s character, that it was just lazy and gross writing. I’ve been attempting to think more critically about that. While I definitely agree with the statement, I’m just not sure it’s exactly relevant to this story? Even though I think turning men into pigs is great, I don’t really think it was such a defining moment for Circe? She was already a witch, she was already on the island alone and she was already doing her own thing. She might have been weary of men, and rightly so it appears, after that but I don’t think it held her back much aside from her making pig potion just to be safe. I’m definitely open to other peoples thoughts about this though, perhaps I’m missing something! 

I’m not sure if its in every book/work I’ve encountered Athena in but she’s not super my favorite, honestly. So seeing her be this sort of opposing force in this story was interesting. I understand her motive but I’m just like okay, next. I do enjoy seeing higher gods be played by lesser-powered people. Athena could not do a thing and I lived for it. As for Circe’s son, I wasn’t super wild about him or anything. I could appreciate the story but I was like okay back to your mom please. 

I loved the animals and the witchcraft. I loved the lion, that was a big stab in my heart but also beautiful. I loved seeing her turn that douche into a god and her cousin into a ghoul so that everyone would see her power. That came back to bite her (lol) but it was a great plot point. One of my favorite scenes was when she went down to the depths of the ocean to talk to the giant ancient string ray to get his poison tail. She was ready to sacrifice herself for her child and then she didn’t have too. Talk about a heartfelt moment to have with a big sting ray at the bottom of the ocean, am I right? 

I enjoyed seeing Circe interact with the other men in her life like Hermes, Odysseus or Daedalus. It was interesting to see because other men were turned into pigs but these ones she allowed to play a slighter larger role in her life. She experienced something with them and then they were gone. Then, however, Telemachus comes into the picture and there is this weird “I was with your dad and now I’m with you” mood there. Honestly, though, I was like get your gains girl. Might as well be happy when you can and with whom you can. This leads to her mortality, which was surprising but intriguing to see. She gave it up for this chance to live more than she could as an immortal and I’m always down with that storyline I guess.