#please antis are really just not that bright are they

[azrielsbreedingkink]

Guys did you know Feyre is actually a selfish whore who is an unreliable narrator? Obviously why SJM had her be the main POV for 4/5 books in this series, cause having an unreliable narrator is exactly what she intended!

/s

[wileys-russo]

the royal box II l.williamson

i think this is genuinely up there with one of my favourite fics i've ever written the royal box II l.williamson

"i'd love to do lunch! i should probably find my seat soon but maybe next week? i'll get my agent to text me my calendar." you smiled, kissing the girls cheek and clinking your drink against hers in goodbye as you turned back to the bar.

not having seen her since you'd walked your first runway years ago it never ceased to amaze you how small the world could seem at these type of events, truly never knowing who you'd run into next, most of them a pleasant surprise.

"shame they let anybody in here now, for a royal box it’s really going downhill." but that voice, that raspy tone and infuriatingly attractive accent, that voice was not a pleasant surprise, in fact it was anything but.

"leah." you didn't even need to turn to look at her as she appeared beside you, nursing a drink of her own as the pair of you watched the pre set warm ups commence on the court below, stood together at a large crystal clear double paneled window right by the bar.

"well it can't be that royal of a box if you're here. unless they invited you because you're a royal pain in the ass?" you met her gaze with a fake smile, sipping at your drink as she puffed air from her nose.

"well you never seemed to complain when i was touching your ass darling." she quipped back smugly as you finished your drink with a fake chuckle, reaching over to place the empty glass on the bar top.

you hadn't seen her in months and yet it felt like only yesterday those same bright eyes had been locked with yours, often at any and all hours of the night and rarely ever stone cold sober as you'd roll around in bed together.

but swallowing the past you plastered a polite smile on your face and turned back to her. “lovely of your dad to let you borrow his suit, though it could have been tailored a little better-” you gently knocked your foot against hers, heel dragging up the edge of her pants that indeed were a centimeter or two too long to reveal her ankles.

"-then again, might be best to hide those shoes. did you loan those from your grandad?" you grimaced, leah kicking your foot away with a scowl, necking the last of her own drink.

“well speaking of hiding what a lovely change for you to put on a dress that isn't two sizes too small and soaked in cheap tequila and regret." the blonde smiled charmingly reaching over your shoulder to put her empty glass down next to yours, gesturing to the bartender that she'd like another.

"then again i know thats all about easy access for you, isn't it?" leah smirked as your eyes narrowed but still the fake smile remained on your lips.

“i seem to remember you never minded. less material to rip off and toss on your floor first, then throw at my face once we were done and you wanted me to leave, right?” you retorted back, not missing the way her eyes dipped up and down to check you out.

“do I have a glow about me? i’ve just been getting so much more beauty sleep without the needy calls at three in the morning.” leah questioned, patting her cheeks gently with a smug glint in her eyes as you laughed politely.

“no i was actually going to suggest you try a new eye cream, anti aging maybe? and these frown lines…yikes. then there’s those angry little eyebrows-” your finger wiggled around in front of her face pointing things out, lips curling upward at the way the smug humor was promptly wiped from her features.

“at least my eyebrows are real.” leah was quick to bite, jaw muscles visibly clenching as you chuckled, not at all ashamed of the fact you got yours tattooed, something leah used to find endlessly fascinating.

“well in my defense i have had a lot of practice faking things, haven't i?” you grinned watching her jaw tense even more, knowing exactly which kinks in her armor to poke at to get a reaction even after all this time had passed.

"please. i know you miss me!" leah's eyes rolled cockily as you laughed sarcastically. “aw is that what you have to tell yourself to feel better? baby I haven’t missed you at all.” you promised as her eyes now rolled.

“yeah you wish, i’ve missed you even less.”

“did dad do your tie for you as well or have we learned how to do it ourselves by now?” you pouted mockingly, reaching over and tightening the knot of her tie as she pushed your hands away and quickly tugged it back looser again.

“booked any genuine campaigns yet or is mummy still flashing the nepotism card to get you on the runway?” leah pouted right back as you scoffed and she grinned, also knowing exactly where to poke at you to get what she wanted.

“please like you don’t stalk my socials, i see you watching my stories.” you snickered, eyes drifting away from her and back down to the court where things seemed to be about to start.

“you think about me so much you feel the need to check? do you post things hoping i'll see them? aw baby girl that’s so sweet of you.” leah cooed pinching your cheek as you smacked her hand off you with a glare.

“don’t call me that.” you warned, hating the glee which filled her face at your obvious discontent, cursing yourself internally for allowing her to see as much.

“oh i'm sorry, struck a nerve did i? good girl, is that better?” leah leaned in closer to whisper, lips grazing your ear as she grabbed a fresh drink from the bar and retracted, the hair on the back of your neck standing to attention.

you kept quiet at that, turning away from her and ordering a new drink of your own with a polite smile, still feeling her eyes on your back as she made no move to leave.

"surely there's some doe eyed idiot with a complex for athletes that you can go swoon with the stories of you kicking things to boost your microsized ego?" you rolled your eyes hearing her chuckle and move to lean against the bar right beside you again.

"footballs. kicking footballs, never could learn the rules or the lingo could you? or maybe you just pretend not to know so i'll explain to you over and over and over, always giving you the attention you want so badly." leahs finger swiped at your nose as you gave her a hard look and shoved at her shoulder.

"speaking of idiots, will that wet mop with teeth and a combover you call a boyfriend be joining us?” leah questioned, spinning around so her back leant against the bar top and her eyes scanned the room, everyone slowly filing out to find their seats.

"you really have been keeping tabs." you glanced up at her with a small smirk as she chose not to acknowledge your statement.

“but no he’s probably off partying in magaluf or ibiza spreading some sort of sexually transmitted disease, waving his little dick around and shoving it into everything that moves.” you rolled your eyes with disdain at the mention of your anything but loyal ex, the boy having slept with more women just while he was with you than you think you had your entire lifetime.

"ahh i see, ex boyfriend then. did he catch the sti from you? or was it one pregnancy scare too many that pushed the unwilling father to be away.” leah smirked though she felt you stiffen beside her and suddenly alarm bells went off in her head that maybe she'd taken things just a step too far.

"fuck you leah." you didn't even hang around to wait for your drink, giving the taller girl one final venomous look which made her stomach drop before you were storming off away from her to find your seat.

it had happened when you least expected it.

you'd not seen leah for a couple of weeks as she was on camp for england, but nothing about your hook ups regular or scheduled and certainly not monogamous you'd busied yourself seeing other people.

this night in particular it had been a rather handsome male model you'd been on a shoot with, accepting his offer of dinner and drinks once you'd wrapped for the day, raised never to say no to a free meal or a hot date.

one thing lead to another and later that night you found yourself in a club packed with blurred faceless bodies, surrounded by strangers and drowning yourself in shots to the point you didn't even remember leaving and going home with him.

there was however one thing that was burned into your mind, the biggest regret of your life as the condom had broke while the two of you were going at it.

normally you were always careful and you'd never be this stupid but the boy dismissing it himself you'd been far too drunk to disagree as he made no move to pull out.

not even getting to have a release yourself it had been a gloriously underwhelming seven minutes before he was satisfied and then suddenly too tired to return the favor.

again with potentially more cheap vodka in your system than blood you'd passed out beside him, spending the night in his bed and waking up hours later with a pounding headache and a deep rooted shame as you sat up and slivers of last night flickered through your mind.

grabbing your clothes you quickly dressed and fled his house, no idea where you were as you sat on his front steps and bounced your knee, the shame spreading through your body quickly morphing into anxiety as your fight or flight kicked in.

knowing there was one person who would answer this time of morning you clicked call, phone held to your ear and skin crawling with disgust as you prayed she would come through.

sure enough after only a few rings the dial tone clicked and you heard a yawn. "this is unusually early for a hook up even for you, what you need and miss me this badly?" the teasing tone and snicker died in her mouth hearing how you spoke her name.

"leah." you could barely get it out without crying, covering your mouth as reality set in and the blonde on the other end sat up in her bed, rubbing her eyes and trying to wake herself up properly.

"whats happened? whats wrong?" the concern in her voice was lost on you as you took a shaky breath. "can you come pick me up please? i don't know where i am but i can send you my location." you asked quietly, leah already out of bed and rummaging around for her car keys.

"yeah send it now, i'll be there soon."

you'd moved away from his house lingering on the curb out front when you heard her pull up, standing to your feet and hurrying to her car just wanting to get as far away from here as possible.

leah had intended to get out of the car to check on you but you were already up and opening the passenger door, sliding into her car and avoiding her gaze as you buckled yourself in.

"you alright?" leah asked cautiously voice thick with sleep, taking in your disheveled appearance and oddly quiet manner with a frown. "i'm fine." you muttered quietly, fiddling with your hands in your lap as you stared down at the floor.

"did something happen?" leah asked carefully though you knew what she meant, a gentle nudge to your side having her offering you a bottle of water she'd quickly grabbed from her fridge as she flew out the door.

"can you take me to a pharmacy please? there's one open about ten minutes from here." you asked after accepting the water with a quiet thank you, leah hesitating for a moment which you felt.

"leah, please." you finally looked up and met her gaze, silence filling the car as the blondes eyes raked over you. "actually don't worry i should have just called an uber or something i'm sorry." you shook your head, moving to unclip your seatbelt as leahs hand shot to grab yours.

"no, please i really don't want you in an uber by yourself right now. put the address in and i'll take you." leah promised softly, squeezing your hand and waiting until you nodded to let go, starting the car back up as you typed the address into her gps system.

there wasn't another word exchanged between the pair of you, leah focused on the road and your own gaze trained out the window, occasionally taking small sips of the cold bottle of water clenched in your hand.

"you don't need to come in, i can find my way home from here." you unclipped yourself as leah pulled up outside the small block of shops where the twenty four seven pharmacy was.

"thank you leah." you spoke sincerely and softly, leaning across the console to kiss her cheek, slipping out of the car before the blonde could even get a word out.

she sat there stumped for a second watching your figure disappear into the pharmacy, shaking her head and hurrying to unclip her own belt, turning off the car and hurrying in after you.

"leah what-" you looked up in surprise as she appeared beside you, crinkle of confusion in your eyebrows as the blonde opened and closed her mouth a few times.

"sunglasses! i need sunglasses and...pads?" she floundered around for an excuse, grabbing a pair of shades off the rack in front of you and slipping them on with an awkward smile.

you couldn't help but chuckle, seeing what she was doing but appreciating it none the less. "thank you." you smiled, leah nodding and darting off to grab the pads she had no intention of using as you waited for the pharmacist.

"what can i get for you love?" the older woman eventually appeared in front of you as you shifted uncomfortably. "can i get the morning after pill please?" you asked quietly, not missing the judgement that flashed across her face though it was gone as soon as it appeared.

you jumped at a loud clatter behind you glancing over your shoulder to see a flustered looking leah scrambling to clean up the pile of baby formula tins she'd just knocked over, sunglasses still covering her eyes.

"sorry! sorry! i just...i got this." leah motioned to the tins, cheeks flushed bright red in embarrassment as you bit the inside of your own cheek to hide a smile, hearing the pharmacist sigh.

"is this pill for yourself or someone else?" the woman asked in a monotone, kindness drained from her voice as the same cocktail of shame, anxiety and disgust leapt into your mouth like bile.

"myself."

"have you considered all of your options?" the woman asked again as you frowned with confusion. "my options?" you questioned as again the woman sighed as if you were doing her a grave disservice.

"your options. have you taken a test? seen a doctor? do you know if you are actually pregnant?" the woman raised an eyebrow as your mouth opened and closed a few times, caught off guard by the questions.

"excuse me? it is literally called the morning after pill. how would she have had time to go see a doctor and take a test? not that any of that is your business." leah was suddenly beside you, sunglasses pushed onto her forehead and signature scowl on her face.

"well i-"

"exactly. so can you please get her the fucking pill? legally i don't think she's required to do anything than prove she's of age to purchase it." leah warned seriously as the womans eyes widened and she nodded, quickly rummaging around behind her.

"here." she placed it down in front of you and rang you up, your phone tapping to pay as leah stared the woman down firmly. "thank you." the blonde smiled though it didn't reach her eyes, the two of you quickly making your way out of the store and back to leahs car.

"seems all i'm doing today is saying thank you." you smiled hovering by her car, leah dismissing it with a small wave. "you might need to wait and take that in a little bit though." leah gestured for you to get into the car as she rounded to her own side.

"why?" you asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she started up the engine, arm draped across the back of your seat looking over her shoulder with a grin.

"well because i just realised i didn't pay for these sunglasses."

"we're at your place?" you questioned later as the blonde pulled into her driveway and cut the engine off. you'd already taken the pill during the drive, missing the way leahs eyes flickered to you every few minutes to check you were okay.

"yeah i figured you probably shouldn't be by yourself, just in case theres any side effects or anything." leah brushed it off as you nodded slowly, genuinely too tired and hungover to find an argument.

you followed her out of the car and into her home, finding it strange to be stood here in broad daylight and uncertain of what was to come, awkwardly wrapping your arms around yourself.

"do you want a shower?" leah offered as you glanced down and realised you really could use one, the thought of being able to wash off the remnants of last night too tempting to turn down.

"yeah that would be great, thank you."

you exhaled heavily as you exited leahs shower already feeling better, finding a bundle of clean clothes waiting at the door for you to change into.

you couldn't help but inhale as you wiggled yourself into her clothes, drowned in the scent of leahs expensive perfume and green apple body wash, unable to deny the comfort it strangely provided you.

"all good?" leah asked as you appeared, the girl also unable to deny the weird way her stomach twisted seeing you clad in her clothes. "yeah your water pressure is insane." you chuckled making her grin, licking a dollop of jam off her thumb.

"thought you might want something to eat but i haven't exactly done my groceries yet." leah offered you a plate of toast, slight pink blush in her cheeks, something you'd not seen from the footballer the entire time you'd known her.

"its perfect." you assured, ignoring the urge to tease her for blushing knowing the girl had practically saved you today and you owed her a great debt of gratitude.

"do you want to watch something?" leah offered, thumb pointing to the lounge as you nodded, following her over here as you sat down, leah right beside you with her own plate and grabbing the remote.

"is that...just plain bread?" you asked, amusement present in your features at the blondes choice of breakfast. "yeah, so?" she scoffed defensively as you raised your hands up in surrender.

"nothing...the stomach wants what it wants." you laughed, leah kicking you playfully and grabbing her plate, settling back into the lounge and propping her sock covered feet onto the coffee table.

"you watch this?" you asked with surprise as she flicked on last nights episode of big brother. "you don't?" she questioned with a mouthful of bread as you grimaced and knocked your knee into hers.

"of course i do, just didn't picture englands captain wasted her time on trashy reality tv!" you teased taking a bite of your toast as she shrugged, reaching behind her to grab a blanket off the back of the lounge, putting down her plate and gesturing for you to put your arms up as she draped it across the two of you.

"might be a god in the bedroom but i am still human." she winked as you jokingly gagged and she pulled a face, settling back down and munching on her plain bread as a comfortable silence fell between the pair of you.

you weren't sure when you fell asleep but you awoke several hours later dazed and confused. you tensed realising you weren't alone, an arm draped across your midsection as you groggily rubbed your eyes, blinking a few times and coming to.

you quickly realised it was leah draped across you, a mess of blonde hair covering her face as it was tucked into your shoulder, her arm slung tightly across your midsection, other hand intertwined with yours as you realised your fingers were interlocked.

you felt weird, no-you felt good. it felt strangely right to be in this foreign position with her and that was terrifying, the subtle and warm and welcoming domesticity of the situation filled you with dread and with fear.

you couldn't develop feelings for her, not for leah.

leah who wouldn't even look at you after she'd spend hours worshipping your body and having you chanting her name among all sorts of obscenities.

leah who would just toss you your clothes and wander off for a shower or roll back over in bed facing away from you, which you knew all too well was the unspoken cue for you to leave.

yet here she was curled up into you, legs stretched out across the coffee table and tucked under a blanket, holding your hand and your body in a way so tender you had almost forgotten what sincere non sexual intimacy felt like.

so you did what countless nights spent with her had trained you to, you left.

carefully unwinding yourself out of her grip the blonde had stirred but remained asleep, allowing you the time to shrug off her clothes and slip back into your dress from the night before with a disgusted grimace at the memories they held.

folding up her clothes and leaving them on the arm of the lounge you gave her one last look, a weird longing to just wrap yourself back up in her arms all you needed to push you out her front door.

leah had woken up not long after, frown on her face as she realized you weren't beside her anymore and the clothes you'd had on were neatly folded a few metres away, and since that morning leah hadn't heard a word from you.

you sighed deeply as you watched the blonde make her way down the row of seats, smiling and shaking hands as she went but heading right for you.

"you have to be joking." you mumbled to yourself as she dropped herself in the spare seat right beside you, not missing the way you physically recoiled and pulled your body as far to the other side of your seat as you could to get away from her.

"you forgot your drink." leah offered it out to you, giving an awkward smile as you glanced at her but accepted it none the less, taking a sip and sitting it down in the holder on your right.

"i'm not thanking you." you warned her, hoping that was all she wanted and would head off to another seat but you had no such luck as she wriggled around and made herself comfortable.

"look i'm really sorry i took that way too far and-" you almost thought you might not hear from her again as the set started, leah leaning in to whisper to you as your eyes closed and you sighed again.

"its fine, just shut up leah." you sharply cut her off, the blonde nodding and leaning back, both of you pulled into conversations with other people as the box buzzed with quiet chatter.

eventually though you once again found yourself with not much else to occupy you as the chatter died out and the match began to heat up, leah muttering commentary under her breath as you chanced a look at her and chuckled at the concentrated scowl on her face.

"what?" she didn't miss it as your head snapped forwards again and you shrugged. "no go on, whats so amusing?" she questioned crossing her arms and turning her body just slightly toward you.

"frown lines." you pointed to your own forehead and back to hers with a small smile as her cheeks flushed red. "oh." she was quick to relax her face, though as you chanced another look toward her a few minutes later you smiled seeing the scowl right back there again.

"shut up i can't help it, this stresses me out." leah knocked her knee into yours and crossed her arms over her chest. "why? have you given up football for a budding tennis career?" you chuckled as she mocked you and pulled a face.

"no. but i know what the pressure is like to play a sport at this high a level, and how hard you are on yourself for every little thing. even without the eyes on you here they'll be thinking about the media, fans, family, everyone is just watching and waiting, hoping you mess up or do something dumb they can rip you apart for." leah retorted as your face softened a little at her words.

"yeah i sort of understand that." you agreed, feeling not too dissimilarly when you walked a runway. "maybe i'll come to your next show and kick a football at you." leah commented casually as your head snapped toward her, the cheeky grin all you needed to know she was messing about as your eyes rolled and a small smile tugged at your lips which you quickly corrected.

"i saw that." "you're getting heatstroke. only you would wear a three piece charcoal suit in the middle of summer." "summer? have you seen those clouds? i'll put a tenner on that we don't even get through the next set before a rain break."

and annoyingly enough of course leah was correct, the day wrapping up as the skies had opened and an icy wind was whipping around the air, nipping and pinching at every scrap of flesh it came into contact with.

you nodded along with a polite smile, chatting with a few people as you were longing to leave, the cold chill setting into your skin as goosebumps appeared and your arms were wrapped tightly around you.

finally their own car arrived and they bid you goodbye, a sigh of relief leaving your lips as you checked the eta for your uber and saw it wasn't too far away.

"see i told you it would rain." you jolted as soft material settled over your shoulders, turning around to meet a familiar smile.

"don't. you're going to get yourself sick if you stand here shivering like an idiot." leah cut you off before you could even say what she knew you were about to, hands knocking away your own which tried to shrug off her suit jacket she'd draped over you.

"thank you." you admitted with a smile, leah nodding and checking her phone as you tried to ignore just how good she looked. "try not to get it wet, its not actually dad its dior!" the blonde smirked as you playfully rolled your eyes.

"got any plans for tonight?" you made conversation as the pair of you stood side by side, leah shaking her head and shoving her hands into her pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

before you were able to stop yourself or think it through the words were tumbling out of your mouth with a mind of their own.

"do you feel like a dance?"

a dance had been putting it mildly as you moved and swayed your body to the beat, bass so thunderous it pumped and shook the floor beneath you.

taking leah as your plus one you'd arrived to the party you'd been invited to, the blonde shocked to say the least as you'd dragged her into the large warehouse where it was taking place.

it had all started off tame enough, finding a table of your friends you sat down with leah by your side, the blondes charming demeanor taking over as she found no issues holding her own in conversation with them.

then someone had appeared with a round of shots, and well it all seemed to go downhill from there.

which hours later is what had head to the liquid confidence flowing through both yours and leahs veins, her body pressed against yours as lights pulsed around you only showing flickers of her face every now and then.

a familiar urge starting to grow in the coil of your stomach you grabbed the defenders hands, placing them on your stomach and pushing your ass back into her, leaning your head back on her shoulder and feeling her nose tuck into your neck.

“i think you’ve forgotten i know all of your tricks pretty girl.” leah laughed, lips grazing your ear as you strained to hear her over the thumping music engulfing the pair of you.

reaching up and tangling a hand in her hair you pulled her closer, lips kissing at her jaw and feeling her own hands begin to wander as your teeth tugged at her earlobe.

“and I think you’ve forgotten i know all your weaknesses, captain."

that was the final nail in the coffin, a small frown creased into your features as you felt her pull away and worried if you'd misread the signals you thought she'd been giving all night.

but all of that was blown to hell and back as her hand found its home against the back of your neck and she pressed into you again, leading you out of the mass of sweaty bodies on the dance floor.

a grin was plastered on your face as she snagged her suit jacket off the back of her chair and grabbed your hand with her other, pulling you with her toward the exit.

"hi." you smiled as the fresh air hit you, the pair of you wandering away from the drunken fallen soldiers littering the exit, leah pulling your body into hers as you hid yourselves around a corner out of sight.

"hello." she grinned back, hands falling either side of your face as your hand grabbed the back of her neck, finally pulling her mouth to meet yours as the pair of you melted into one another.

"this is a bad idea right?" you mumbled against her lips feeling her nod. "terrible idea." she pulled away momentarily, chest heaving and face flushed pink as you tangled your hands in her blonde locks and she grinned.

"so, your place or mine?"

~

"jesus christ leah." you exhaled shakily, rolling off of her and running a hand through your hair, struggling to catch your breath as you closed your eyes for a moment and felt her body vibrate with quiet laughter beside you.

"you still with me?" you opened them to see her hovering over you, cheeky smile on her lips as you nodded. "that certainly didn't sound fake." her smile morphed into a smirk as you pushed her and she collapsed back into the pillows beside you.

"that was what that was about? proving a point?" you struggled to get out, coming down from your fourth orgasm in a row. "no! well not the first three anyway, but that one? yeah that one was personal." leah confirmed cockily as you reached a hand over to gently slap her cheek, feeling her lips kiss at your palm with a chuckle.

the pair of you had barely made it through her front door, hands burning and twitching as you'd done your best to keep them off one another in the excruciatingly long uber ride back.

"fuck me." leah had exhaled as you wasted no time dropping to your knees in front of her the moment you'd crossed the threshold of the bedroom, tugging at her pants as she clumsily fumbled with her belt.

"i'm trying to." you'd grinned up at her making her eyes roll as she tangled a hand in your hair, having started off pleasuring her first and reaping in the moans you drew from the older girl while your face was buried between her legs.

then things had moved to the bed and leah wasted no time reminding you that just because you struck first she was the one in control, and what felt like hours later here you were struggling to return to earth.

"i should go." your body shifted back into autopilot as you'd finally caught your breath, sitting up and pushing your hair to one side of your head as you covered yourself with the blanket and leaned down to rummage through the pile of clothes on the floor for your own.

"or you could stay." you froze at that, time seeming to stand still as leah tried to push down the nerves which consumed her following her statement, fidgeting with her fingers which were hidden beneath the blanket.

“you never ask me to stay.” you still hadn't moved, arm slung over the edge of the bed and your dress in hand, this uncharted territory quite terrifying as you had no idea what would come next.

“you never seemed like you wanted to.” you sat up at that, looking down at her with a slight frown. "you never seemed like you wanted me to." you quipped back as leah sighed, running her hands down her face and flopping them onto the mattress.

"i didn't think i did." she admitted quietly, glancing up at you as you looked on curiously and nodded for her to continue. "i thought this was just casual hook ups. then you called me that morning from that guys house and hearing how upset you were made me worried, more worried than i would be for someone i didn't care about." she sighed, avoiding looking at you now.

"then we came back here and you showered and wore my clothes and we hung out and it felt good. i thought maybe we might be able to explore something more than just hooking up but..." she trailed off as now you looked away and bit the inside of your cheek.

"but then i left." you finished for her as she nodded. "why didn't you ever answer when i reached out afterwards?" leah asked as you shuffled back to lay down again beside her.

"well when i called you that morning i thought it was just auto pilot. but then you were so helpful and sweet and we did hang out which was different but not in a bad way." you paused to think over your next words.

"then i woke up and you were holding me which felt...good, and that scared me. we've never been intimate in a non sexual way and i guess i just assumed it was a reflex for you since you were asleep, because every time we'd sleep together-" you were stopped as leah cut you off.

"-i'd throw your clothes at you and expect you to leave." the blonde admitted, the two of you sharing a look and a small smile, cheeks flushed with color.

"yes. then i panicked because it felt good and different and weird, and i assumed you'd not share those feelings and just break things off anyway, so i broke it off first to save myself and here we are." your hand moved closer to brush against hers, a silence falling between you.

"so.." leah trailed off, her leg moving next to graze yours. "so..." you echoed, finger stretching to trace a line down the back of her hand.

"would you want to stay over then?" leah broke first, head turning to face you as you noticed the obvious worry in her eyes at what you would say.

"okay." you agreed, corners of your mouth tugging upward as her eyebrows raised in clear surprise. "but you’re making me breakfast in the morning.” you declared, leahs laugh echoing around the room.

"deal. jam on toast it is!" she teased, a warmth spreading through your body as her hand moved again to sit on top of yours, her fingers linking and sliding around your own, the blonde raising it up and placing a soft kiss to your palm again.

"well for me. just plain bread for you right?" you quipped back, catching her off guard as you leaned in and pecked her lips, darting back away before she could return the gesture with a twinkle in your eyes.

“a fun fact you’ll grow to love is i am a terrible chef.” leah admitted as now your laugh filled the room, shuffling closer and turning on your side to face her as she did the same, feet nudging yours apart to slot her leg in between yours.

“and what else should I know?” you smiled, pointer finger of your free hand tracing absentminded lines across her face. "mm well i eat a plain ham sandwich before and after every game, i am a huge star wars nerd, i love country music...and i would really like to take you on a proper date." leah finished with a smile that had you reeling, cheeks heating up even more.

"do the tips of your ears always go red when you're embarrassed? how have i noticed that before thats adorable?" leah cooed and tugged at them as you whined and leaned forward pressing your face into her shoulder.

"leave me alone." you grumbled, pulling your head back onto the pillow and resuming tracing the curve of her jaw. “i think you’re working backwards, I don’t normally sleep with women on the first date.” you teased, green eyes rolling playfully.

"well I don’t normally sleep with women i date.” she smiled charmingly for a moment before the realization dawned on her she'd not quite said that right and she frowned.

“no that came out wrong i meant i-" you didn't let her finish, pressing your lips against hers with a laugh, your mouths moving together in perfect harmony.

"shut up. i'd love to go on a date with you.” you promised, pecking her lips a few more times and melting at the way her face lit up. "yeah?" you nodded. "yeah."

"now something you'll learn to love about me, i've never seen a single star wars movie." you confessed, leahs jaw dropping in disbelief as she sat up so quickly it made you jolt in shock.

"what are you doing?" you questioned confused as she pulled her body away from you, rolling out of bed still completely naked and rushing around her room.

"you, are getting a movie education." she pointed to you threateningly, disappearing into her closet for a moment.

"right now? leah we just had sex i'm naked!" you laughed, wincing as a bundle of material hit you in the face, pulling it away and holding it up.

"oh this is the darth vader guy right? luke skywalkers dad?" you realised who was on the shirt as leah stopped her rushing about, stood at the end of the bed staring at you in disbelief.

"that is like the biggest plot twist of the franchise how on earth did you know that?" "leah...vater in german literally means father!"

"have you always been such a know it all?" leah scoffed as you rolled your eyes, sitting up and tugging her shirt over your head, reaching down to find your underwear.

"i'm making popcorn, get comfy!" leah called out as she darted out of her bedroom. "leah at least put some pants on!" you laughed at her naked form flitting around the kitchen.

"well another fun fact for you to know pretty girl, wearing pants is actually banned in this house."

[demonicbaby666]

Dom Emily prentiss x intern fem reader is all i ask!! Smutty ofc, a lil bit of a humiliation kink if you’re comfortable!!! Thank yewww

Packing Heat

One shot | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Masterlists

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader

Genre: Smut

Words: 4.8k+

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, strap-ons (r!receiving), semi-public sex (office sex, again…), praise, degradation, mommy kink, kind of dub-con at one point, top!Emily, bottom!reader

Summary: Interning at the BAU means you don’t interact with the person in charge a lot. Of course, this doesn’t mean you haven’t seen the section chief in passing or exchanged pleasantries; it's that they’re simple, short-lived and often anti-climatic. However one evening, you find yourself in the desolate office with no chance of going home, work to be done, but no one to sit with you through the process. With only one other soul residing on the sixth floor, it seems Emily may be your best bet for company.

A/n: Listen, could she be more dom? Yes. Is there any humiliation? Not really... But I got lost while writing, so please don't be mad at me... Hope you still enjoy!

When you'd first started at the BAU, it was safe to say you hadn't seen much of the woman calling the shots. There were always updates about when the team were taken out of state, what their cases would entail, the steady progress being made, and the brief comical encounters Garcia spewed around the office. When they were back, everyone made an effort to small talk. They welcomed you well and continued to appreciate the little things you did for them daily. Emily, however, was constantly on the go, meaning every encounter you'd had with her consisted of one-way glances and hopeful smiles in the event she decided to notice her surroundings and the human lifeform less than two metres away. 

She never did, though, until one uneventful evening. 

Almost everyone had vacated the building. The only remaining souls left on the sixth floor were you, Emily, and a one-person cleaning crew—whom you watched exit through glass doors before approaching the brunette's office with shaky knees. Peeking through the window, you saw her attention dart to and from the bright computer screen to the mountains of bureaucratic paperwork lying atop her desk. It was easy to get lost in the little creases between her eyebrows, brought out by the deep scowl she wore, the delicate way her fingers were woven together, and the pads of her thumbs skirting against one another as she pondered in deep thought. 

It was nearing eight, and you were struggling to understand how someone could appear so put together at this late hour, given that their day was most certainly jam-packed with non-stop slog. 

Emily's eyes suddenly flashed up. She squinted toward her door, trying to figure out who'd be here this late other than herself. When she appeared to have worked it out, she leaned back victoriously in her chair, a smug smile on her face, when she called out, "Are you going to stand out there all night?" 

You could have done two things: scurried off like a teenager caught peeping or held your chin up high and walked into the older woman's office with little to no shame. Somehow, you managed to do a mix of both, scurrying in with sagging shoulders, a guilty smile plastered on your face and trembling hands clasping your laptop over your chest.

"Well, it's eerily quiet out there, and I would go home to write this paper. It's just that my roommate and her boyfriend have an awful tendency to forget about volume control when they're—" You cut yourself off, realising it probably wasn't appropriate to talk to your boss about your roommate's over-the-top borderline pornographic soundscape. "I was wondering if I could, you know."

Emily, satirising as ever, waited with a raised eyebrow and a relaxed smile for you to continue your purposefully unfinished question. 

"Sorry, I should let you work." You surrendered to your weak resolve with flushed cheeks and began to turn around.

"Sit," she ordered before you had fully turned back around to the door, nodding to the available chair on the other side of her desk. Her eyes followed your journey to the seat, watching as you placed your laptop down and opened it with shaky fingers. Satisfied, she turned her attention back to her work. "I could do with some company." 

The following silence, starting as unsettling and stagnant, blossomed into something warm and comfortable. There were occasional glances thrown your way and vice versa. Their acknowledgement and appreciation were shown in the form of timid smiles on your end and double takes followed by teasing smirks on Emily's. 

When half an hour had passed, your shoulders had finally relaxed, your fingers had stopped their infernal twitching, and your paper neared its completion. There was a proud smile cresting, and you were trying to prevent it from forming, knowing how dorkish it made you look. But you knew there was no hope when your cheeks ached and your jaw locked. You granted yourself the freedom to display your gloating smile. 

Just as expected, Emily had a questioning look on her face when you dared to look up from the document. There was a playfulness to the upward quirk of her lips - the superiority of a predator knowing the power they have over their prey, ready to prove it at any given moment. 

"I've almost finished," you timidly admitted, feeling obligated to explain as heat infiltrated your jutted-out cheeks. 

Without a second thought, the ravenette stood up and made her way around the desk. She could have easily chosen to turn the laptop around. Instead, she took the far more intimate route. 

Soft curves grazed your shoulder blades, causing you to shiver. The weight finally settled, soft padding pressed flat against your back as Emily read your paper, and suddenly, your stomach had worked itself into looping knots, and your heart was racing. 

The struggle continued as you fought not to fidget, if only to alleviate the growing tension mounting between your thighs. This was only made worse when Emily's right hand left the back of your chair to drop down over your shoulder and land comfortably on your thigh. 

"Such a smart girl," she whispered sultrily into the shell of your ear, squeezing generous flesh between her fingers. 

With a scrambled brain, there was little fight to be put up against the meek whimper that crackled against the constricted lining of your throat. Subconsciously, your thighs tensed, and your pussy fluttered as you were reminded how close Emily's hand was to where you could only dream she'd touch. 

You'd thought you imagined it—the subtle shift in the room from breezy and light to torrid and all-consuming, but with Emily's fingers veering off course, inching higher and higher, reality came crashing down. 

"Thank you," you struggled to get the words out, and when they did come out, they were tremulous and feeble. 

Turning to look at her may have, in hindsight, been a mistake because where her gaze should have been fixed on the laptop screen, it was glued to your lips. Unexpectedly, your stomach flipped, and you felt dizzy. She was still superbly perfect up close, skin smooth like silk, cheekbones sharp as a razor, and lips cut from velvet. It was too close, dangerously so, you had to look away. Outside the window, you spotted a swarm of birds barely visible against the night sky. You ignored the clanking of your heart as you focussed on their synchronicity, watching them circle each other until they became one big blur of messy movements. 

The hand resting on the leather backing of your chair rose, skirting up and over your neck, until a firm grip was established around your dangling ponytail. She was gentle when she tugged, aware that though she wanted to educate you in the art of being owned, you were delicate.

"I think a pretty thing like you deserves a reward," she baited. "Don't you?" 

Her grip on you may have been physical. However, a stronger pull was coming from deep within you, an unimportant piece of scrap metal drawn in by a powerful magnet. It was useless to deny her. The mesmerising glow of her chocolate eyes and the promise of being made to feel special was too powerful. So, you nodded slowly but eagerly, desire painting your eyes dark shades of lust. 

"That's a good girl." 

Emily didn't miss how you preened at the praise and safely stored that information away for further use. She shifted to your side, hands migrating to the small of your waist, guiding you to your feet. The act of it was far gentler than you'd expected, like a gentleman asking a maiden to dance, sweeping her off her feet to whisk her away into a fairytale land filled with magic and romance. 

Certain the benign treatment would be short-lived, you granted yourself the leniency to enjoy it whilst it lasted, refusing to get too caught up in the dull ache between your legs that craved the form of savagery Emily displayed in the field. 

There was nothing short of passion in how she worked. It drove you crazy. As wrong as it felt, you couldn't help but envy the dirtbag the team was working to catch because you saw how badly the brunette wanted them. The look in her eyes, gratification and disgust all at once, when she'd achieved what she set out to do and was staring the devil right in the face - it made your heart race, your palms sweat and your cunt throb. 

The memory kickstarted what could only be described as a brutal attack upon the older woman's lips. To her credit, Emily indulged the outburst for a lot longer than you'd have thought. As if she'd expected it, she quickly responded, pulling you into her body and tilting her head to the side to deepen the kiss. The lead was stolen promptly from your grasp when Emily wedged a leg between your thighs, backed you up against her desk and tactically slid her tongue into your gaped mouth. You would have gasped if not for the fact you were immediately indulged in the minty taste of your boss's tongue skirting over the roof of your mouth. So much so that you scarcely noticed the pressure coming from your core was no longer just a phantom need manifested but taut clothed muscle pressing you further and further into the sharp wooden edge of the desk. 

"Emily," you breathily moaned, pulling back and separating your kiss-swollen lips from the brunette's. Ordinarily, you wouldn't have allowed what happened next to occur, but this was Emily, after all, the BAU section chief, and if you were to let anyone order you about, it would be her. 

She backed away from you with a final nip to your bottom lip, letting it go with a pop, and you fought the urge to reach out and pull her back to you. You knew you'd already tried to take things into your own hands once, and doing so again may undermine any chances you had of keeping the ball rolling on tonight's affairs. 

You could feel the tight pull of your ponytail and all the places where hair had been lead array from the confines of your hairband, and it truly dawned on you how out of sorts you must have appeared. Tracing your fingers over your lips, you could make out how swollen they were - puffy and hot, yet desperate and pouted, begging for more. Your breathing was laboured, filling the room's silence, and your shirt suddenly felt too tight as your chest expanded with each intake of oxygen. It almost came as a relief when Emily opened her mouth to finally speak until you heard what she'd said.

"Take your clothes off," she mindlessly ordered, walking around to her chair and sitting back in it. Her eager eyes trained over your body with the faintest shimmer of mirth. 

Initially, it was a shock. Of course, it was. You were in an official government building, personnel still sparsely spread throughout, and a goddess of a woman was asking you to bare yourself to her. 

For the longest time, revealing your body to someone always felt like giving up something. Perhaps some kind of purity. The moment you gave it up, it bred only guilt and shame that twisted and pulled at the pit of your stomach until you felt sick. You stood there, waiting for that feeling to come. It never did. 

Remaining still, your body pulsed not with nerves but with exhilaration and anticipation. It took a few seconds to realise this was precisely what you wanted. You wanted to give this false sense of purity away. There was not a sudden influx of courage soaring through every living cell of your body. However, there was enough for you to put on a front and do as you were told. 

"Slowly." Emily sat further back and placed her elbows neatly over the arms of her chair. She laced her fingers together, offered you an encouraging nod, and then was back to watching you raptly.

Feeling like a glutton, you followed a path of desire and heeded Emily's request, fingers increasingly fumbling over each button of your shirt. 

"So obedient." And in no way was it said negatively; the adulatory smile she gave you only sought to prove that further. 

The way she looked at you made you feel as though you were already naked. Maybe that was why it was so easy to get lost in the subtlety of undressing. It was art, and you were a performer. That's what you told yourself. And for the most part, it worked. 

With closed eyes, you trailed your fingers over your shoulders, letting your shirt drop to the floor. The AC raised goosebumps over your chest, pebbled your nipples under your plain bra, and you smiled. You smiled because this was the most alive you had felt in months. The thrill of moving on to your slacks and deftly unclasping your belt felt like being on a rollercoaster, like missing a step and laughing fear in the face afterwards. You felt utterly fearless. 

In the back of your mind, you could sense Emily's eyes still on you. You could hear her moving around but didn't think to check her reaction. You were in your element, and far be it for a look of appraisal, or lack of, to stop you. That was until your trousers hit the carpet with a soft thud, and a sharp breath was heard from across you. 

Your eyes snapped open, and you found Emily's smile was absent. The brunette now had her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she looked you up and down, knuckles white from her deadly grip over the armrests. 

She lifted a hand, palm facing the ceiling as her index and middle finger crooked. "Come here so I can get a proper look at you," she said, slightly breathless. 

The desk had conveniently covered the lower half of Emily's body, which meant that when you circled around and came to stand next to her, you could see exactly what the earlier ruffling had been about. 

"Is that?" You froze, both shocked and utterly intrigued by the thick black dildo jutting out from the older woman's opened slacks. 

She didn't need you to finish the question, already nodding as she followed your line of sight. Leaning forward with an outstretched arm, Emily coiled her fingers around your wrist and pulled you forward, causing you to almost stumble over your own feet. At this closer distance, you could tell the faux cock would give you a run for your money. It was thicker than anything you had taken before, though that was not a hard trophy to earn, given that the most you had let anyone put inside you was three fingers. 

"Do you want to come sit on mommy's lap?" Emily asked with a tilt of her head. 

She didn't miss how your breath caught in your throat, how you seemed to stop blinking, stop moving, stop existing.

"Are you scared?" the lioness asked, sights set on her prized fawn. 

You shook your head and placed one foot in front of the other, eyes downcast as you took in the size of Emily's additional appendage. The shake of your jaw gave you away. 

"I don't like being lied to," she snapped, eyes dimming to an even darker shade of brown. 

She pulled you in by your waist and sat you on her lap, cock brushing over the thin material of your underwear. Instinctively, you wedged your bottom lip between your teeth to quiet yourself. But Emily wasn't having any of it. Her thumb came to your captive lip, where she helped release it with a soft flick. 

The smooth texture of Emily's cock through your sodden panties was a needed relief. Its head purposefully pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves evoked a flurry of shivers to run down your spine. And with nothing holding you back, you moaned in gratitude. 

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Emily smirked, watching you rut against her. 

"Yes," you uttered, breath caught in your throat. 

Happy to watch, Emily relaxed her shoulders and leaned back, enjoying the show you were putting on for her. Only when she recognised the tell-tell signs of frustration wash over your features, from your creased brow to the bite of your lip between your teeth, did a sick smirk lick the edges of her lips. With a mischievous glint shining in her eyes, the older woman shifted her position, pointedly ignoring the sound it pulled from you. 

"Something wrong?" she asked with a hitch of one eyebrow, adamant to appear oblivious. 

You gave no reply, only held tight to her shoulders in defiance and continually ground down on her, trying so hard to pleasure yourself to no avail that your eyes began to sting with the emergence of tears. 

With sweat threatening to spill down the side of your face, the tension between your legs starting to ache, and your release nowhere near in sight, you threw your head back with a sigh and whispered a quiet 'please' to the ceiling.

"Please what?" Came the dull reply, tone bored, unamused, unimpressed.  

You tried to impale yourself, failing as strong hands held you down. It was driving you crazy—pleasure being so close yet so far. 

With one hand removed from your hip, Emily gripped your jaw and turned your attention solely to her stern gaze, "Are you going to stop being a brat and tell me what you want?" 

When no answer came, she let go, jerking your head back as if disgusted with the lack of compliance. 

"Get up." 

Ice, you were made of ice. Sat still, shocked, speechless and slightly mortified. 

"Do I need to repeat myself?" Emily's voice was no longer flat; it was not roaring either. Instead, it was layered, resembling the same barbed tone a teacher might use with a disobedient student. It was enough of a motivator to get you to rise to your feet. 

Following you closely, the older woman, too, rose to her full height, hands meticulously reaching behind your back to expertly relieve you of your bra. Never once did she look you in the eye. 

With the same callous approach, you were turned and pressed against the desk, papers sticking to your heated chest. Emily was quick to loop her fingers through the hem of your underwear and slip them down your thighs, allowing gravity to do the rest. 

The full-bodied presence behind you lessened, and you took it as the opportune moment to glance back. 

The brunette had let her trousers drop to the floor, allowing you to see how her porcelain skin was directly contrasted by the black leather of her strap-on. Unlike yourself, she did not appear nervous or afraid. As she kicked the tailored pants aside and met your gaze, you realised how in control she was. 

Her gaze moved down your body, hands running down your back, until finally, she pressed herself against you and lowered her body atop yours. 

"I can feel how wet you are," she teased, running two fingers through the mess between your legs. "Are you always this wet?" 

"Emily, please," you begged. 

"I asked before, please what?" She raked five fingers down your side, moving them back up till they wound tightly in your hair and gripped your neck to an uncomfortable arch. Two fingers pushed inside you but did no more than that, remaining still as stone. "If you're going to be a baby and refuse to tell me what you want, you'll get nothing." 

"Fuck me!" You no longer had the sound of mind to acknowledge shouting something vulgar could attract attention. Logic had evaded you, allowing you to play right into your boss's hands. "Please just fuck me."

Sliding her slick fingers out of you, she proudly stated, "That wasn't hard, was it?"

If the older woman wanted an answer, she did not allow for one. In one fluid motion, she rose from over you and snapped her hips forward, sheathing the entire length of her cock into your cunt. Your breath caught in your throat, resulting in a strained groan tumbling out of your open mouth. The pit of your stomach dropped, and try as you might have not to clench around the toy inside you, you did precisely that. 

It was new, the foreign feeling of being filled so fully that one slight move would summon pleasure that sent shivers through your whole body. It wasn't unwelcome, especially when Emily started to move, and heat engulfed your entire body. Her pace was languid, allowing you to feel each slide of her cock along your slick walls, how each push of her hips ended in the tip hitting the spot within you to cause the furling in your stomach to expand tenfold. It was all you could do not to scream when the push and pull and Emily's hips moved with more purpose, jerking your body into the edge of her desk. 

"I've barely started, and you're already dripping down your thighs." Her voice was laced with mirth, finger smearing your mess as if to prove an unnecessary point that had your cheeks burning up. "How long have you been thinking about this?" Emily finished her question with an arduous thrust. "How many times have you sunk your fingers into your pussy and thought of me?" 

The questions continued, each hitting the nail right on the head. Your cheeks were scorched with the embarrassment that comes with having your desires known and exposed, but it did not take hold of your conscience as the event of falling in front of a large crowd might have. It was comparable to how a blushing maiden may feel when caught by a suitor in only their undergarments. It excited that small part of you that gave in to demoralisation and encouraged you enough to meet Emily halfway as she thrust into you. 

As your pleasure mounted, the need for more grew. Your clit, swollen and needy, begged for relief, and you beckoned to its call, sliding one hand from above your head to the juncture between your legs. It was when the tips of your fingers brushed against your sensitive pearl and you gained the briefest taste of the euphoria that Emily removed her hand from your thigh and snatched your hand away, halting all movement. 

You could have cried, having everything, then nothing, so quickly. 

"Did I say you could do that?" 

Abruptly pulling out, Emily stood tall and proud, staring down at you with curiosity and disappointment lining the brown of her eyes. She heard you whimper and acknowledged your sniffle. 

"There's no need to cry," she tutted, flipping you onto your back and lifting you by your shoulders. "You're going to listen to me from now on." 

You nodded, and she once again lined her cock to your opening, only now she waited, taunting you with possibilities. 

"Beg," she instructed. 

And you heeded. 

"Please. I need you." 

"You can do better." She sounded bored, and this struck a nerve within you, one that begged you to impress her, show her you could be a good little girl, and beg as though your life depended on it. 

You took a heaving breath and looked into Emily's eyes, sporting your best puppy eyes. "I need you. I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me with your big cock, mommy. Make me scream out your name. I need it." 

"There's a good pet," she cooed, mesmerising you with the bating of her lashes as she looked down to where your bodies were so close to touching. 

It all happened in a blur. The next thing you knew, your nails were digging into muscled shoulders, legs wrapping around a slim waist as the brunette filled you, wasting no time in picking up a brutal tempo. You barely recognised the sound of your voice as high-pitched obscenities spilt past your lips. You felt your whole body light up, heard blood pulse in your ears, and saw in real-time just how easy it was to aid Emily in calling upon your impending orgasm. 

Your vulgar mouth, luckily, seemed to amuse Emily enough for her to let you continue rutting your hips against her. The corners of her lips curled, and her smirk lasted only so long for you to see before she inched forward and kissed you with passion and hunger. It was easy, so easy, to melt into the brief moment of intimacy. The butterflies felt tangible, and the sparks crackled in your ears; it felt so fucking good you'd almost forgotten just where you were. Of course, bubbles eventually popped, and this one was demolished by rustling outside Emily's office. 

What little movement Emily allowed, her hands holding you firmly against the desk by your waist, was not enough to wriggle free and glance behind to see what was happening. Instead, the possibility of being caught weighed heavier with each drawled-out second. 

"Emily," You tried but were cut off by a tongue sliding into your mouth. "Emily, stop."

With a bite to your lip, the older woman backed off, confusion marking her features, "What is it?" she punctuated her question with a hard thrust. 

"Someone's o-" another hard thrust. "Someone's outside."

Emily smiled, picking up her pace, forcing you to breathe so deep you felt your lungs expand. 

"You'd better be quiet then." 

Whatever protest you were about to give died in your throat when nails skirted up to your chest and dug painfully into your breast, and Emily pushed herself so deep within you that you felt her hitting your cervix. A strangled cry was briefly heard before you managed to clasp your hand over your lips and silence your own mewls. She was fucking you as if her life depended on getting a reaction out of you that would draw attention. Nevertheless, you held firm and stayed as quiet as your muffled sobs would allow you to be. 

"Emily, please," you were pleading for release and for the brutal fucking stop because you knew there would be no chance you could keep a lid on your volume; there would also be no chance you would survive not cumming. 

Taking note of this, the older woman took the route of giving you your release, dragging a thumb down over your clit and applying the right amount of pressure to have your tense legs turn into a shaky mess of tremors. She didn't stop there; with a brief slide, she ran your slick over your bundle of nerves and started to circle steadily. 

"Fuck!" You screamed out, missing the way the ruffling outside suddenly stopped. "I'm cumming. I'm cumming." 

"That's it," the brunette encouraged, her fingers coming up to crook and tangle through the mussed mess of your hair, nails slowly working against your scalp. "Let everyone hear what a slut you are, letting me fuck you over my desk." 

She didn't stop, though, not when your clit felt raw and your pussy tender, not when you begged and not even when you reached out and tried to grab her wrist. Emily only yanked you down by your hair, relishing the thud the brutal move made. She fucked you harder till stationary fell to the floor from your thrashing arms, and by then, her lips were already wrapped around a nipple, sucking firm whilst you cried through a second orgasm. 

When you finally felt empty, you didn't even try to open your eyes. You knew your vision would be blurred if not blacked out. Instead, you focussed on coming back down to earth, steading your breath and not thinking about how you strangely missed being filled by Emily despite being so fucking sore. 

"Are you still alive?" a smug voice asked from above, and you pried your bleary eyes open to weakly smile. 

"I think so," you whispered, peeling your sweat-slick back from the desk. That was when you remembered the unknown personnel outside and shot a look at the door. 

"They're gone," Emily said, cupping your chin and turning you back to her. Again, you were greeted by that conniving smirk. "After your commentary, I think they understood we didn't want to be disturbed." 

"But-" 

"Uh-uh." she silenced you with a finger to your lips, the smell of yourself still narrowly fragrant. You took the digit into your mouth, patting yourself on the back as you watched Emily's eyes turn dark. "You want to make Mommy feel good now, don't you?" She knew the answer, but oh, how she loved to watch you sink to your knees and eagerly nod anyway. You helped unclasp the straps of her harness, then set to pealing the last barrier keeping you from her heat down her legs. 

"My good little pet," she said, smiling down at you and happily watching you beam. Her hand cupped your jaw before moving to the back of your neck, where she pulled you to her core and began singing a melody of moans. 

Tags: @ssa-sapphic @aws-l @babygirlscout @red1culous @7thavenger @sapphicprentiss @five-bi-five-mind @jenna-ortega-is-pretty17177 @supercorpstan97 @kenyakimble34 @12fluffybunny12 @asensitivecookie @summoned-lust-demon @maxinehufflepuffprincess @whosprentiss @asolitaryrose3 @imlike-so-gaydude @maybe-a-humanbean @taylorswiftsboyfriend @bossofcriminalminds @asphodelvamp @jareguiromanoff @lilfartbox1 @lovelyy-moonlight @patronagrona @lostenby @storiesofsvu @mrs-prentiss @romanoffsho @paulilvsremus @waitaminutebaby @jarexuslover @lesbodietcoke @homo-oddity @milfsincrime @noahrex @pnsteblnme @asolitaryrose3 | click here to be added to my taglist

[sailorstar9]

She Scratched F/N's Face, But F/N's Boyfriend Yelled: "She's dying! Why Are You Still Holding A Grudge?"

Warning: Anti-Sethos, Angst, Modern AU

Trigger warning: Cheating

Sethos was extremely annoyed by his childhood friend, but ever since she attempted suicide, he has changed and becoming overly indulgent with her.

Even when she scratched F/N's face, he just shielded her behind him, saying, “She's almost dying. Why are you still arguing with her?”

So, F/N stopped arguing and quietly left his world; until one late night, Sethos saw his most powerful senior in the circle publicly announce his relationship. F/N was wearing a well-tailored man's shirt, nestled in the arms of a tall and handsome man and kissing the side of his face.

That night, it was pouring rain; Sethos, however, went crazy and came banging on his door. “Ghāli (my precious), I know you're doing this to spite me. Come out, let's talk.”

Sethos had an annoying childhood friend.

Every time he and F/N went out on a date, she always tried to tag along and this irritated him to no end.

One day, he and F/N went to see a newly released movie.

Along the way, Dalilah had already called three times to bother them and Sethos didn't hesitated to block her on WeTalk.

He rubbed F/N's head and said, “Don't worry, I have a girlfriend. I must keep a distance from any childhood friends.” as soon as the movie ended, an unknown number called him.

When he answered, it was that haunting voice of his childhood friend, Dalilah, again. “Sethos, where are you?”

“I told you I'm on a date with my girlfriend.” Sethos answered. “Stop calling me. Don't you understand human language?”

Her voice was thick with sobs. “Wait, don't hang up. I really have something important to tell you.”

Sethos hesitated for a moment, but still hung up; his brows furrowed tightly, as if something was bothering him.

“You seem distracted.” F/N noted. “Are you really worried about her?”

Sethos was stunned, but lowered his head and kissed F/N's forehead. “Why would I worry about her? Don't worry about her; she 's a psycho. Let's continue our date.”

It was nine in the evening and there was a fireworks show by the moat and F/N was in Sethos' arms, taking pictures. Before she could snap a few, Sethos' phone started vibrating in his pocket again. This time, it was Dalilah's mother calling.

F/N didn't know what was said on the other end, but Sethos' pupils contracted suddenly and his face turned pale. “Okay, Auntie. I'll be there right away. Dalilah attempted suicide.” he explained. “I have to go to the hospital now.”

“She tried to kill herself?” F/N echoed. “Just because you didn't answer her calls and ignored her? That's a bit extreme.”

Sethos irritably ran his hands through his hair. “I don't know. But either way, I need to go. Do you want to come with me?”

Though F/N was reluctant, she was also quite curious as to what new trick would Dalilah pull this time.

As they pushed open the hospital room door, they saw Dalilah with red-rimmed eyes, a bandage wrapped around her wrist and struggling to sit up. “Sethos, you're finally here...”

Then, the moment Sethos approached her bed, she hugged him. “I knew you cared about me.” and the scene made F/N very uncomfortable.

Sethos didn't push Dalilah away as he sighed in frustration. “Dalilah, do you realize how unreasonable you're being? Attempting suicide over me is a childish act.”

“I'm not doing this over you.” Dalilah sniffled. “I...” as she spoke, her already swollen eyes filled with tears again and she timidly looked at F/N. “Could you please step out for a moment? I only want to tell him.”

Ten minutes later, Sethos came out of the hospital room, looking very serious.

“Are you guys done talking?” F/N asked, uninterestedly. It wasn't F/N was cold-hearted; it was just that Dalilah's incessant calls and deliberate harassment had completely eroded any goodwill F/N had towards her. Not to mention, the first time Sethos introduced F/N to Dalilah, she greeted F/N with a bright smile and a handshake, but secretly squeezed F/N's hand as hard as she could. Such petty tricks was beyond childish.

“Dalilah has stomach cancer.” Sethos suddenly said. “The reason she attempted suicide was that she felt like a burden. It's all my fault. If only I had answered her calls, she could have someone to talk to. She's from a single-parent family, and if it weren't for me, she wouldn't have felt so hopeless; so much so that she thought of herself as a burden and tried to kill herself. Dalilah has relied on me since she was a child; she sees me as her brother. And what do I do? After getting together with you, I stopped caring about her.”

“I see...” F/N muttered, her heart slowly turned cold.

Dalilah's delicate voice came through. “Sethos, can you stay with me tonight? I'm really not trying to bother you. It's just... my mom. She has to work the night shift at the supermarket, so she can't be here.”

“I'll stay with you.” Sethos relented. “I won't go anywhere.”

Without a word, F/N left the hospital before it started pouring and made a call to Kinich, one of Sethos' university seniors and currently one of most eligible bachelors in Teyvat's elite circles.

Sethos always told F/N that Kinich was a notorious playboy, but he had told her with certainty, “Kinich may be carefree most of the time, but when it comes to important matters, he's reliable.”

Kinich arrived faster than F/N expected. “F/N?”

“Yes.” F/N nodded. “Sorry to trouble you tonight.”

“No need for that.” Kinich chuckled softly.

F/N went back to the hospital room to find Sethos.

Dalilah was clinging tightly to his arm. When she saw F/N enter, she smiled, “F/N, you haven't left yet?”

F/N simply ignored her and turned to Sethos. “I've already called Kinich to take me home. Take as long as you want to take care of her. Until then, don't bother contacting me.”

Not long after F/N got home, she received a call from Sethos, informing her that he would not be returning that night as Dalilah had no one to take care of her and he was worried.

F/N then checked Dalilah's WeTalk Moments and was not surprised to see a photo of Sethos sleeping beside her hospital bed with that caption 'Nothing compares to your company.'

A few days later, Dalilah was discharged from the hospital; according to her, she was already in the late stages of stomach cancer and the doctors advised her to stop treatment, saying she should just eat and drink whatever she wanted. Because of this, Sethos turned down a significant portion of his work and said he wanted to spend her remaining days with her.

At first, F/N tolerated it, considering the dying deserve respect. But she soon realized what Dalilah wanted was all of Sethos' free time. Several times, while she and Sethos were having a meal together, Dalilah would call and he would leave immediately. He would hurriedly apologize to F/N and then leave her sitting alone.

After it happened a few times, F/N confronted Sethos. “She has so little time left. Wouldn't it better for her to spend it with her family?”

“Her family doesn't care for her.” Sethos explained. “She's from a single-parent family. I thought you could understand...”

“It's fine if you accompany her occasionally.” F/N spat. “But you don't have to be at her beck and call like a nanny. Can't you maintain some distance?”

“She's a little sister I've watched grow up.” Sethos protested. “And now she has stomach cancer and needs someone with her. Forget it. I don't want to argue with you. Just don't start a fight.”

“That's your problem.” F/N responded. “Don't put it on me.”

“I really don't know what to do.” Sethos ran his hands in his hair in frustration. “F/N, can you please try to understand? It's just for a month or two, I swear. I only see her as a sister.”

“I don't want to deal with this.” F/N was also frustrated. “If you want to be with her, then go ahead. Don't bother informing me.”

That Saturday, F/N received a call from Sethos, “Didn't you say you want to go to Disneyland? Dalilah also said she wants to go. Do you want to join us? If you're coming, I'll buy an extra ticket.”

“I'm not going.” F/N bit back her anger. “I have a baking lesson later this morning. Besides, who goes to Disneyland and brings along a 'little sister'?”

At that moment, F/N heard Dalilah's pitiful voice on the other end. “Is it because F/N is prejudiced against me that she doesn't want to go? Or maybe she's uncomfortable with my illness...”

“It's not prejudice.” Sethos assured. “It's just that you kept calling me back then, so it's natural for her to be suspicious.”

Dalilah, sounding a little more aggrieved, said, “Forget it, Sethos. I know whatever I say won't matter. Maybe it's better if the two of you just go. After all, I'm on this condition. You don't have to worry about my feelings.”

Hearing that, Sethos once again felt like the worst person in the world. “Don't say things like that. I can always take F/N another time, but I need to be there for you.”

At that, F/N wordlessly hung up the phone, not wanting to hear anymore of their back-and-forth through her phone.

That evening, F/N saw Dalilah's latest post: a grid of nine photos. In almost every one, she was holding onto his arm, her head resting on his shoulder. They looked just like a couple deeply in love. Her caption read: 'You're always the best to me.' and in the comments, she added, 'Don't jump to conclusions, everyone. This isn't an official announcement, this is just my childhood sweetheart. But the person taking our pictures at Disneyland today said we look so perfect together.'

F/N deleted Dalilah from her WeTalk friend list without hesitation.

At the beginning of the year, Sethos bought a car and promised he would pick F/N up from work every day. But he wasn't come even once lately and F/N's nosy coworkers had been subtly asking if they had broken up. F/N's reply was only two words, “Almost there.'

After the sadness, all that was left was a growing pile of disappointment. But in the end, wasn't that exactly what Dalilah wanted? But F/N was determined not to let Dalilah have her way so easily.

At this moment, the notification alarm from F/N's WeTalk sounded; it was a voice message from Kinich. 'Have you had dinner? I don't know how to cook.'

'Not yet.' F/N typed in her reply. 'I'm basting salmon to eat with rice.'

'If you're home, I'll come over with some ingredients from the prime market.' Kinich typed back. 'I really want to taste your cooking.'

Kinich arrived quickly, carrying a bag of groceries.

Sethos sent F/N a message just as Kinich and F/N were about tuck into some vegetarian pasta bake. “Spent the whole day at Disney yesterday. I'm exhausted. Came back and crashed on the bed. What are you up to? You're not mad, right?'

'Let's break up.' F/N typed back quickly. 'Don't bother coming to pick me up from work tomorrow. That's Kinich's job now.'

“What's up?” Kinich swallowed his mushroom pasta bake.

“Nothing.” F/N put her phone aside. “Just broke up with someone. Dad was right; I have really bad taste in boyfriends.”

“Boyfriends are something you fun for fun.” Kinich took a sip of his grape raspberry sparkling water. “But husbands are different, especially someone like Sethos. It's good you broke up sooner rather than later.”

“But isn't that how you treat women, too?” F/N asked, drinking her pink grapefruit sparkling water.

“No,” Kinich replied. “How did that saying go? 'A man who doesn't respect himself is like a rotten cucumber.' So, don't misunderstand me.”

The next day after work, a colleague came up to F/N and said, “Oh my Archons, there's a super handsome guy downstairs at the office building. My heart is fluttering and I'm a married woman.”

“How handsome?” F/N was waiting for her computer to shut down.

“Extremely handsome.” the colleague continued to gush. “He's several times more handsome than your boyfriend. But I bet he's here to pick up his girlfriend.” she then showed F/N a picture she had secretly taken and F/N instantly recognized it was Kinich.

When F/N exited the lift, she walked up to Kinich waiting in the lobby. Without saying anything, she latched onto his arm and the pair left the office building.

There were a few messages from Sethos after F/N sent the breakup message the previous day, but F/N hadn't responded. 'Weren't we supposed to never say the word 'breakup' so casually? I know you're just being a little moody, but I absolutely won't agree to breaking up. Please don't ignore me on WeTalk. I know you're mad at me, mad that I didn't keep my promise to pick you up after work.' then, he sent a bunch of 'I love you' stickers.

'As long as you are happy, I'm fine with it.' F/N typed a reply back.

In the days that followed, Kinich came to pick F/N up punctually every day and took her out dinner. Meanwhile, Sethos seemed to have disappeared from the face of the Teyvat, but F/N couldn't be bothered to check up on him anymore.

Until more than half a month later, on the night of F/N's birthday, Sethos suddenly appeared at her door. He was holding a cantaloupe in his left hand and a birthday cake in his right. He smiled and said, “if you don't open the door soon, the property management might kick me out.”

After putting the things down, Sethos immediately tried to hug F/N, only to have her push him away coldly. “My colleagues already celebrated with me at work today.”

“Don't be so stubborn.” Sethos chided. “Colleagues can't compare to a boyfriend. Honestly, it's been my fault these past few weeks for not coming to see you. I actually wanted to wait for your birthday to make up to you. Did you really think I forgot your birthday?”

“Don't give me that.” F/N retorted. “Aren't you going to spend time with your 'good sister'?”

“I'm not spending time with her because...” Sethos paused for a moment. “She's here to celebrate your birthday with me. I think there's been some misunderstanding between you two and I wanted to use this opportunity to clear this up.”

Even before F/N could react, the next second Dalilah jumped in from outside, “F/N, happy birthday.” and the party popper in her hand exploded, scattering confetti all over the floor.

F/N bit back a sigh; since Dalilah wanted to put on a show, she'd play along for one last time.

“I know you have some misunderstandings about me.” Dalilah simpered. “You're the person Sethos loves the most and I feel so bad for taking up his time for so long. I'm sorry.” tears began to well up in her eyes.

Sethos, standing nearby, immediately pulled out a tissue and started wiping her tears. “Don't cry, Dalilah. F/N isn't someone who can't be reasoned with.”

Seeing that F/N had crossed her arms and watching her silently, Dalilah realized F/N wasn't moved. She continued, “After I leave, it'll just be you and Sethos together.”

“That's enough.” F/N cut Dalilah off. “Today is my birthday, not your apology session.”

“Why don't you guys work on the cake?” Sethos suggested, moved by Dalilah's tears. “I'll go cut the cantaloupe.”

“I'll cut the cake.” Dalilah spoke.

“No need.” F/N interrupted. “I'll do it myself.”

“F/N, just let me cut it.” Dalilah pouted. “Or are you really going to be so unforgiving even after I've just apologized?”

“Stop pretending.” F/N snarled. “Isn't it tiring to squeeze out those tears? How much is your apology worth anyway? Do you want to cut even our wedding cake?”

Dalilah's expression changed. “So what, F/N? You know Sethos can't see stand to see me cry. If I throw a tantrum at your wedding, he'll let me cut the wedding cake.” with a proud huff, she squatted by the coffee table. “If you don't let me join you two, then I insist on joining. If you don't let cut your birthday cake and your wedding cake, then I insist on cutting them.”

But just as she was about to grab the plastic knife to cut the cake, F/N was a second faster and snatched the knife.

Dalilah just dropped her previous frail act and behaved like a madwoman, snatching the knife back and giving F/N a cut on her face.

F/N retaliated by slapping the smug Dalilah across the face. “You must have brain cancer, not stomach cancer.”

“What happened?” Sethos hurriedly walked into the scene and saw Dalilah's tears, big as beads, were falling like a broken string of pearls. She was covering the side of her cheek where F/N had slapped her and wailed, “Sethos, I accidentally scratched F/N's face. I'm so sorry.”

“Can you stop crying every time something happens?” F/N stormed over and grabbed Dalilah by the collar. “Stand up and explain yourself.

“That's enough, F/N.” Sethos suddenly shouted and immediately shielded Dalilah behind him. “She's almost dying and you're still arguing with her? The doctors said she can't be upset. Do you know how little time she has left?” he shook his head in disappointment. “You're making a big deal out of a tiny cut on your chin. Is that really more important than her life?”

“Tell me, Sethos.” F/N voice calmly. “If Dalilah were to throw a tantrum and cry at our wedding, would you let her cut the wedding cake?”

“That's...” Sethos blinked.

“Get out.” F/N snarled. “We're done.”

“Fine.” Sethos spat coldly. “We're done. If you hadn't said it, I would have.”

'It's done.' F/N sent a message to Kinich.

“Who hurt your face?” Kinich quickly arrived at F/N's apartment, his usual smile furrowed into a frown. “Sethos? Or that female friend of his?”

After F/N related what had happened, Kinich proceeded to disinfect the cut. “That trash isn't worthy of you.” he then took a phone call and went to the door to retrieve a box of cupcakes with frosting and a bouquet of F/N's favourite tulips. “Congratulations on getting rid that that trash today. Happy birthday.”

Meanwhile, Sethos brought Dalilah back to his place and comforted her for a while.

Dalilah said, “Sethos, maybe I should go down and apologize to F/N. I feel like she's really upset.”

“You didn't do it on propose, yet she slapped you.” Sethos soothed. “She really went too far this time.”

It was midnight; after calming Dalilah down and getting her to sleep in the guest room, the doorbell suddenly rang.

Still angry, Sethos walked to the entrance, only to be met with a punch to the face once he opened the door. Wincing in pain, Sethos finally saw the furious man in front of him; Kinich. “What's wrong with you? What did I do to you?”

“Do you even realize what you've done?” Kinich snapped and landed two more punches on Sethos.

“I get that you're standing up for F/N.” Sethos argued, trying to dodge the sudden assault. “But just hear me out...”

“If your head isn't clear, then don't go bothering F/N.” Kinich hissed. “I'm not interested in your excuses.”

After getting a thorough beating from Kinich who had later left, Sethos was extremely frustrated; if it wouldn't for the fact that he was Kinich's subordinate at work, he would have fought back. But after thinking it over, he realized he was at fault in this situation. At F/N's place, he had handled things poorly, focusing on Dalilah's cancer and her need to avoid stress. He hadn't considered the fact that F/N's chin had also been injured.

The next morning, as F/N was preparing a mushroom quiche for breakfast, she and Kinich discussed her plan to move out. She had blocked and deleted all of Sethos' contact information. With Kinich's help, she quickly moved out of the apartment.

Sethos had just received some good news; Dalilah's latest check-up revealed that her condition had miraculously improved. He planned to take her out for a nice meal to celebrate. The restaurant they chose was very popular with two rows of people waiting for seats outside. So he and Dalilah sat down to wait.

As they waited, Sethos opened his phone and started scrolling through social media. As he scrolled, he came across a post from Kinich from the previous week: 'Together with her.'

Sethos squinted his eyes to take a closer look; the woman in Kinich's arms was none other than F/N. She had her long hair tied in a loose bun, her face beaming with a smile as she kissed Kinich's cheek.

Dalilah noticed something was off and leaned over to look at his phone and her voice filled with excitement. “F/N found a rich boyfriend. I didn't expect her to find a new boyfriend so quickly. It seems she didn't care much about you...”

Sethos cut her off. “Don't jump to conclusions. She's obviously doing this to get back at me.”

“How can that be?” Dalilah scoffed. “She's already kissing him.”

“I need to find out what's going on.” Sethos hissed. “Dalilah, you go ahead and eat. I'll come back after I get to the bottom of this.”

He started his car and drove as fast as he could, one hand texting F/N. 'What's going on with you and him?' just as he sent the message, a red exclamation mark appeared next to it and Sethos realized F/N had changed her number.

Sethos rushed to the elevator and headed to the tenth floor of the apartment. He knocked on the door until his wrist was sore, but F/N never answered.

“You're under arrest for illegal harassment.” after some time, Sethos found himself pinned against the wall by two police officers.

“My girlfriend lives here.” Sethos argued.

“Officers.” a stranger appeared at the door. “Don't listen to him. I just moved in recently and I don't know this man at all.”

After work on Monday, Sethos found out Dalilah had somehow gotten into his place.

“I need to tell you something.” Sethos tossed his suitcase on the couch. “Since your condition has improved, you shouldn't stay at my place anymore. I've helped you fulfil your wishes. So go back to your own home.”

Later as he was about to take a shower, he passed Dalilah's room and thought to check if she had packed her things. Then, he overheard her talking on the phone with a friend.

“What should I do?” Dalilah wailed. “He wants to kick me out again. I regret saying my condition improved.”

“Then, just tell him your stomach cancer worsened.” the friend suggested. “Tell him that your last wish is to be a bride and he will have to marry you. Cry in front of him again and repeat the whole act. He'll be under your thumb in no time.”

Dalilah had just nodded when her door flung open. She turned around and was stunned to see Sethos in the doorway.

“So, your stomach cancer was a lie?” Sethos glared. “You've been playing me this whole time?”

Dalilah tried to act clueless. “No, Sethos. Listen to me...”

“You made me feel like a joke.” Sethos shoved Dalilah out. “Get out! I never want to see you again. Leave and don't ever come back.” he tossed Dalilah's suitcase out ten minutes later.

A/N: Kinich fic No. 4; I'm pulling for him for my baby account.

[florenceafternoon]

━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━

These fics are set in the wizarding world but aren’t necessarily canon complaints.

A while ago I posted about how one of my favourite part of reading canon jily is when they're a bit older and Lily is looking back in retrospect. The part where James shows her how he gets that this war that's looming over them, it's bigger, older, than they are and even though the world feels like it's ending his top priority is that they remember to enjoy the happy moments. To live in those moments.

Jily has always been a hot cup of tea on a cold and rainy day for me. I hope these fics give you a short break from life, even if it's just for a moment.

For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries.

These first few fics are all by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Abi's characterisation of Lily and James as individuals are so special to me. How she writes jily is perfect - I mean the banter, the tension, the overall dynamic between them is just on point!

basic maths

Euphemia cuts Sirius off sharply. “I was simply verifying whether this is indeed the same Lily Evans whose name is written under my dining room table with a heart around it.”

or: Lily meets the parents and James tries not to hyperventilate. over and over and over again.

we suffer in silence

"It's fine, Evans," James interrupts, waving off her apology and offering a reassuring smile. "You've always been an exception to the rule." A hint of warmth spreads through Lily at his words. "You've never liked rules." He chuckles softly, his lips quirking up in a lopsided grin. "Which is why I never had a difficult time liking you."

or: James has had a bad day and Lily gives her best go at cheering him up

I've already made a whole post about how much I love this fic with my favourite quotes and everything, but god please if you read anything today let it be Abi's jily fics because they are legendary.

star light, star bright

It's seventh year, somehow, that clinches the case, claiming the grand prize in the annals of Lily Evans's misfortunes. Because, as it turns out, harbouring feelings for James Potter while also navigating the precarious terrain of friendship with him is a fate crueller than death.

or: James keeps accidentally touching Lily and she's about to lose her mind

amenable parameters

“Truth or dare, Lil?” “Dare,” she replies without hesitation, leaning back into the worn leather booth. “Obviously.” Hestia’s eyes gleam. “Go snog Potter.”

or: lily gets brave and james's patience is rewarded

here lies

James can't hold his drink, or his affections

the start of (something) new

“Oh, really?” Petunia crosses her arms. “What’s his name then?”

Lily pauses here, but only for a moment as her mind flashes back to the field at Jubilee Gardens. “James,” she says confidently. “James Potter.”

TW: this fic does depict a slightly descriptive panic attack.

Lily you are so valid for looking. For those of you who've seen the AU rec list I just posted, please know that this fic is the reason why I added all those footballer!james fics (well this fic and the euros).

common ground

Lily pauses, suddenly aware of James’s intense gaze. “What? Why are you…” Heat rushes to her cheeks, and she hates it. “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s just…it’s a good look on you, Evans.” “What is?” she asks, self-consciously. His grin widens. “Mischief.”

sidewalk chalk, covered in snow

She didn’t mean to get used to any of them.

or: Lily Evans is strictly anti-Marauders…until she isn't. one by one.

waiting for the light to take us in

James removes his glasses again. “Evans…” He searches for something to say and settles on, “You don’t even like flying.”

“I could like flying,” Lily says, shrugging. “I like you.”

He doesn’t take that bait in the way she wants, and her heart sinks just a bit more. Instead, he chews at his lip, considering and considering and considering some more. Lily wants to scream.

A reminder that even though it seems like others may have it harder, you deserve a break too.

Questions and Answers by lizardcookie (on ao3)

The simple question of whether or not they're dating doesn't exactly have a simple answer. Seventh Year Jily.

A Very Sick Dear by Nostalgicdragonfly (on ao3)

It's a very rare disease, but James gets it anyway and he has to endure the pain of having the favorite flower of the person he loves growing in his chest. He's been hiding his struggles. Lily loves roses yet James is the one getting cut by their thorns. But when a new healer arrives and things get out of hand, a lot would depend on whether or not James accepts his only treatment.

or James has hanahaki disease

Thank You For The Music by @thelighthousestale

Lily Evans is homesick during her first year of Hogwarts. Then she hears a familiar tune.

Erasmus Lovegoods’s Guide to Brewing Love Potions also by @ /thelighthousetale

At the start of every school year, the Ministry of Magic distributed leaflets to all students taking potions classes regarding the regulations and legality of highly controlled potions.

Lily Evans thought the Ministry would probably have more success in decreasing illegal potions brewing on the castle grounds if they didn’t give such detailed instructions about the potions in its published propaganda literature.

Of course, every year's most popular leaflet was the one warning about the dangers of brewing love potions.

Or how an accidental explosion in NEWT-level potions finally forced Lily and James to confront their feelings.

falling into place by @charmingwillow

Lily overhears something that maybe she shouldn't have.. things sort of happen from there.

Limbo by Random-Musings (on ff.net)

Lily's sour Hogsmeade weekend takes an unexpected turn.

The next few fics are all from it's about the Gazing collection by @firefeufuego. I recommend this collection to my friend who doesn’t read jily and the first fic alone had her texting me "I get why you love them so much and I also get why you want James Potter"

(get on out of your seat) all eyes on me

As James stops to catch his breath, he also catches Lily’s eye, already fixed on him in the blatant, unblinking way he hasn’t seen since she used to verbally eviscerate him for minutes on end. It hits with the same mortifying heat as it always did then, when he used to stand there watching her yell at him and imagine her mouth doing everything else. He’s ridiculously grateful for whoever throws the ball straight towards his face for saving him from the fate of just standing there, watching her watch him with his dry mouth open for the rest of eternity.

In a movement of pure reflex, he grabs the ball out of the air and starts back towards the end of the pitch before Orie comes out of nowhere and takes his legs out from under him. Winded and disoriented, James sighs at the universe’s rather unsubtle visual metaphor. Is it even worth getting up again when he just keeps falling and falling and falling for her?

(soft spoken in the dead of night) all eyes on you

Lily has watched him do this multiple times before and it’s just tea and it’s just James and there should be nothing special about this particular moment, except that the sight of him, the fact of him, is suddenly earth-shattering.

Something like nostalgia fills her in a flood, only it’s the future she’s longing for, a future she can see with absolute clarity. The features James inherited from his parents are so faithfully recreated on him that it’s easy to imagine him at their age, with a shock of white, still unfairly thick hair framing a face lined by a lifetime of laughter, making her a cup of tea exactly the way she likes it and smiling as she teases him.

Don't be fooled by the summery, this is pure self indulgent smut. I complain a lot about pretentious people but the Austen and Keats reference had me swooning. The myth of Eros and Psyche is probably one of my favorites so…

in the morning when i wake or the morning after

With trembling hands, James brings the smaller piece of parchment closer to his face and starts to read.

To the love of my life,

You idiot. Get back here.I’ll be in your room.

Lily.

Surface Pressure by @eastwindmlk

Lily dealing with the weight of her own expectations in 7th year

no, i could never give you peace by @kay-elle-cee

James blinks. “Are you breaking up with me, Evans?” he jokes softly, resting his hand on hers. It’s a joke, but her body tenses and it immediately puts him on edge. The silence that follows is excruciating.

“I’m not doing anything.” Her nails begin to tap on the mug again—a nervous habit that James spots immediately. “I just think we should have a conversation.”

Trust Kels to serve Order!jily angst and pair it with one of my favourite songs of all time

bury it and rise above by @startanewdream

"James? Do you believe in magic?"

Or Lily is a Witch. James is a Muggle. It's not easier.

When It's You by idreamofjily (on ao3)

James is naturally affectionate and Lily really isn't. But maybe she can make an exception, if the way her stomach drops every time James touches her is any indication.

desiderium by @missgryffin

Sometimes all it takes is champagne and a slow dance, and then there's no going back.

The Vow also by @ /missgryffin

When he was thirteen-going-on-fourteen, James Potter did something truly, unbelievably stupid. Now that he’s seventeen-going-on-eighteen, he has to deal with the consequences.

Accidental Magic also by @ /missgryffin

What else is there to do after confessing feelings in the middle of the night than spend a lazy Saturday in bed?

Are You Experienced? by @annabtg

James Potter decides to ask Lily Evans to a Muggle live music show. This noble mission, however, requires a series of steps he is entirely clueless about: from procuring the tickets to finding the correct outfit, and most importantly, to spending an evening with Lily Evans without making an absolute fool of himself.

Also including the gorgeous cover art by @constancezin

by the lake by @possessingtheproperspirit

james finds lily by the lake.

not in need of a knight by @thejilyship

“If they start something, I’m going to finish it.” James said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And if it ends with you in the hospital wing?” “What do you care?” “Do you really think I’d bother to argue with you so much if I didn’t care?” Lily said, breathing sharply through her teeth.

[flippinpancakes64]

Could you do The Cullens x Reader! Who is just a very happy and cheerful person, pretty small, and then they just get sad or teary eyed when someone calls them childish, what would be their reaction?

The Cullens with a very happy but sensitive reader

I can definitely relate to the sensitive part, but I am rather large so we'll see how good I am at portraying that

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy

Edward:

He doesn’t mind that you’re smaller than him

He actually kinda likes it

And he loves your personality

It’s so bright and nice

It’s a good change of pace to hear kind and clear thoughts as opposed to mean and rude ones

Now as far as when he hears people insulting you

He doesn’t let that shit fly

Especially when you come up to him later with tears in your eyes

He is anti-bully and pro-you

He will knock a bitch out

And he does his best to reassure you that he loves you for you and that he never wants you to change ever

Alice:

All things considered, you are like her clone

Small, cheerful, peppy

Only difference is that what other people say still gets to you

Granted, she’s had over 100 years to become desensitized

But she knows the feeling

Those people calling you childish have called her that too

She tells them to back off and watch themselves

As for you, she never wants you to change

You are so vibrant and lively and fun

And if those people ever got to you and you felt that you needed to try to change yourself, she shuts that down instantly

No changing yourself to fit into society for her

One order of being your own person please

Jasper:

He loves your personality so much

It’s canon that he tends to gravitate towards people who have a positive mind because it makes him feel better

And what better person than sunlight embodied

But when you come to the lunch table one day and you look like you’re about to cry, he is ready to fight

He doesn’t actually fight tho

He knows he won’t be able to hold back and he will end up killing someone

He loves you, but not enough to blow their whole cover and to reset all of his progress

He reassures you that he doesn’t think you’re childish

If anything, everybody else is just miserable

Rosalie:

Grumpy and sunshine relationship dynamic?

She likes to give you a hard time sometimes, pretending to be annoyed at how energetic you are

But in reality she loves it

She’s so used to Edward being miserable and everyone at school being miserable that she loves your personality

And she does fight someone

When you come over after school and look like you’re about to cry, she instantly takes her earrings out

She finds whoever said it and beats their ass

She will not let anyone upset you like that ever again

Emmett:

Your personality is a nice change from Rosalie’s

Not that he would admit that

But it’s nice to have someone who actually acts happy all the time

You’re his little ray of sunshine and he loves you

And when you come up to him about to cry, he gets ready to kill someone

And then he actually does

The guy deserved it idk

They can’t trace it back to him so it’s all ok

He reassures you as much as you need that he loves you and that he never wants you to change

Esme:

Another ray of sunshine

She’s so inviting and kind, you two match each other perfectly

Only she’s never really had to deal with anyone calling her childish

She’s of course had the random soccer mom asking her if she’s really qualified to be caring for a bunch of teenagers, but that’s it

So when you come home crying, she’s not too sure of what to do

She does her best to comfort you

Cue your favorite food, movie, and blanket

She spends the whole night cuddling with you and telling you that you are perfect exactly as you are

Carlisle:

He appreciates a nice, positive person

He deals with a lot of rude people at work, so it’s good to unwind

He has never once thought of you as childish in any way

One day you’re visiting him in the clinic and a random man says that you’re far too childish to be dating the doctor

He’s shocked

And you’re upset

He takes you back to his office to calm down and pages the secretary to kick that guy out

Reassures you that you are not childish and that he never wants you to change

Vampire! Bella:

She’s been around sunshine people for a long time

Her mom, Alice, Esme, and Edward when he gets what he wants

So your presence is nothing new

But she appreciates it nonetheless

She loves how you can find the good in everything

It balances out her bleak mindset

So when she sees someone insult you, she’s irate

She goes over to them and like stomps on their foot or something

And then tells them to never even look at you again

Ultimate bodyguard

[insomniac4000]

ChrisMD- Charity Match

The sun was shining bright over Wembley stadium, and the electric buzz of excitement filled the air. It was the annual Sidemen Charity Match, and this year, it was bigger than ever. The teams were set, as usual the Sidemen were taking on the YouTube Allstars, a collection of the best creators from around the globe. Among them were ChrisMD and Y/N, two creators known for their humour, skill, and years of camaraderie.

What no one knew besides a select few close friends in their content creator circle was that Chris and Y/N had recently taken their friendship to the next level. After years of banter-filled collaborations and shared late-night editing sessions, they’d finally admitted their feelings two months ago. Since then, they’d been navigating the thrill of their new relationship while keeping it private. Chris had done the whole relationship in public thing before and it hadn’t worked out so he was revealing in keeping something just for him. It wasn’t that surprising to people who knew the pair, their friendship had developed in a big way after Chris and Shannon broke up it just happened to coincide with Y/N’s rise in popularity and moving into the same office building as Chris, Will and some others. It got to the point where Chris was knocking on Y/N’s door borrowing things constantly, bringing tea and coffee and sometimes lunch. That then developed into going out for drinks after a long day editing, his mind blew when she had told him she had never seen Lord of The Rings so he turned up at her flat with the films, food and neither of them were sure if it was the tiredness or the fact they both ended up cuddled up on the sofa but they shared a very soft, and sweet kiss. Neither of them looked back ever since.

Due to her rise in fame Y/N had booked her ticket in the Youtube All Stars team, it was the first time a female was playing in the match so the pressure was in a little bit, most of the people in the game knew about the relationship but it was still a big event with many eyes watching and she first of all had to act casual around Chris but also she felt pressure to perform well and reverse the stereotype that women didn’t know anything about ball. Now she wasn’t an expert by any means, especially compared to some other players like Chris or Theo but she understood the rules and had an okay aim, she just hoped she wouldn’t sieze up in front of thousands upon thousands of people.

Having dozens of content creators in one place meant that cameras were constantly on. In order to try and stop anyone from catching and posting any footage they didn’t want anyone else to see the couple seated themselves separately on the bus, Chris sitting next to Will with Y/N behind next to George who was also making his charity match debut.

“Please tell mw you’re as nervous as me,” Y/N breathed out to George as she leaned her head on the window.

“It’ll be fine. I’m used to making a complete tit out of myself anyway and absolutely nothing can be worse than that bloody dating video I did,” George replied with a smile. Y/N sent half a smile back before nodding and looking at her phone. It wasn’t like she was purposely being anti-social but in anxious times it really helped her to play with something with her hands to calm her down. George noticed and elbowed her a little, their friendship had blossomed somewhat since Y/N’s relationship with Chris had started and the two had got to know each other quite well.

“Look you’ll be fine. You’ll be safe in the knowledge that you can’t possibly do worse than the year Chris legged it from Noah Beck and missed a penalty,” George said with a cheeky smile earning an honest laugh.

“Yeah that helps, thanks a lot.”

It was the day of the match and in the bustling dressing room of the YouTube Allstars, Y/N adjusted her jersey, her name emblazoned proudly on the back. Her hair was tied into a ponytail, a few strands escaping to frame her face, although it was deliberate now it would probably be fizz later on in the match. Despite her confident appearance, she was nervous, Chris could tell.

"You good?" Chris asked, leaning casually against the lockers, his cheeky grin instantly calming her nerves. His smile had almost a cheeky boyish charm about it and it was one of her favourite things about him.

"Just pre-match jitters," Y/N admitted, lacing up her boots. "It’s not every day you play in front of thousands of people, and millions online."

"You’ll smash it, people seemed to like you in my videos,” Chris said, his voice soft but steady. Y/N had indeed appeared in two of Chris’s videos over the past three months to try and ease her into the whole football thing. It was actually the first video that sparked the rumours she was going to be in the charity match, luckily there were no other rumours centred around the relationship. Chris was very careful with the edit but this time there would be no edit. It was playing on both of their minds but as ever Chris was the one who was acting calm. He was the epitome of a swan, all calm and even confident on the surface but what you never saw was the feet kicking wildly under the surface. Still he had the smile on his face as he spoke again "Plus I’ve seen you in training. They won’t know what hit them."

Y/N smiled. Chris always knew exactly what to say. "Thanks, coach."

"Anytime," he replied, winking, he looked around before placing a small kiss on Y/N’s cheek before scarpering, leaving a small blush creeping up Y/N’s face.

The stadium erupted in cheers as the players walked out onto the pitch. Y/N couldn’t help but soak in the atmosphere, her heart pounding as she waved at the crowd. The YouTube Allstars lineup was strong, but the Sidemen were formidable opponents. Y/N knew they had their work cut out for them. As was custom they all walked out holding the hands of kids and Y/N tried to stop her mind from wandering about Chris as a father.

The teams lined up and everyone shook hands, before everyone knew it the whistle blew, and the game began at a blistering pace. The Sidemen scored early, of course it was Simon it was always Simon and it sent the crowd into a frenzy. Y/N, playing as a winger, was determined to make an impact. She sprinted up and down the pitch, linking up with Chris who was in midfield. Y/N felt comfortable playing with Chris obviously, she hoped a pass to him would be safe, and a couple of times the pass meant the ball was then played down the other end but the Sidemen defence was strong and each time the ball ended up back on the other side of the field.

By the 23rd minute, the score was still 1-0 to the Sidemen. The YouTube Allstars were pressing hard for an equalizer, and Y/N found herself in a promising position. Chris intercepted a pass in midfield and looked up to see her sprinting down the left flank.

"Y/N!" he called, launching the ball in her direction with pinpoint accuracy.

Y/N controlled it expertly, darting past JJ and faking out Vik. She was now one-on-one with the goalkeeper, Billy Wingrove. Time seemed to slow as she steadied herself, drew back her leg, and struck the ball with as much power as she had in her legs. Time then felt like it stood still as she watched the black and white ball rise towards the goal, just skimming past Billy’s fingers.

The net rippled. Goal.

The stadium erupted. Fans jumped to their feet, cheering wildly as Y/N ran toward the corner flag, her hands in the air. Her teammates swarmed her in celebration, but Chris was the first to reach her his face in the biggest smile. Without thinking, he threw his arms around her and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"You did it!" he exclaimed, his eyes alight with pride.

Y/N laughed, her cheeks flushing not just from the exertion but from the kiss. She gave him a playful shove. "All your assist." The conversation ended as Will, George, and Theo started piling on the couple with the other team mates slowly adding to the celebration.

The moment was over in seconds, but it didn’t escape the eagle-eyed viewers watching the livestream. Social media and the chat lit up instantly.

 “DID CHRIS JUST KISS Y/N?!” “Wait, what’s going on??” “That wasn’t just a friendly kiss, was it?” “I SHIP THIS SO HARD.” “OMG THEY LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER.”

Clips of the moment were already being shared on Twitter and TikTok, with fans analyzing every frame. Speculation ran rampant, and hashtags like #ChrisAndY/N and #YouTubeCoupleGoals began trending.

Back in the dressing room, Y/N could feel the weight of the moment sinking in. Chris sat beside her, handing her a water bottle.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice low so the others wouldn’t hear.

"Yeah," Y/N said, though her mind was racing. "I just... I think people might have noticed the kiss."

Chris rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "Sorry, I didn’t think. I was just excited for you."

Y/N smiled, her nerves easing. "It’s okay. It was sweet. But... what do we do if people ask?"

Chris hesitated, then shrugged. "Maybe it’s not such a bad thing if they know?"

Y/N blinked, surprised. They’d agreed to keep their relationship private for now, but the way Chris was looking at her—like he didn’t care what the world thought—made her heart swell.

"We’ll figure it out," she said finally, giving his hand a quick squeeze.

The second half was just as intense as the first. Y/N and Chris continued to have a blinding game, both of the, their connection on the field was matching their connection in real life. By the final whistle, the score was tied at 5-4 to the Youtube Allstars with Chris scoring a free kick, as proud as Y/N was of him she knew this was not going to help his better than most premier league footballers comment.

As the teams lined up for the handshake at the end of the match, fans in the stands chanted both their names, a testament to their standout performances.

As the players left the pitch, they were bombarded by cameras and interviewers. Y/N and Chris managed to slip away to the YouTube Allstars’ private area, where they were met by their friends George, Will, and Theo as well as Harry.

“Well let’s hope your little spectacle of love went unnoticed,” Theo joked as Y/N went red with Chris putting an arm around her waist and pulling her close.

“I just hope Stephen didn’t mention it in the commentary,” Y/N replied.

He didn’t, to Stephen’s credit but meanwhile, the internet was ablaze. Fans flooded Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok with clips, memes, and theories. Some dug up old videos of Chris and Y/N, pointing out moments that seemed suspiciously flirty in hindsight. Others were simply thrilled, declaring them the new power couple of YouTube.

Chris and Y/N decided to address it that evening with a joint Instagram post. It was a candid photo of them laughing together, taken during the match. The caption read:

"Well, the secret’s out. ❤️ Thanks for all the love today. It means the world to us."

The response was overwhelmingly positive. Fans flooded the comments with support, and fellow creators chimed in with congratulatory messages. Chris and Y/N spent the rest of the evening scrolling through their phones, laughing at memes and feeling relieved that their secret was finally out.

"Well," Y/N said, leaning her head on Chris’s shoulder, "I guess this means no more sneaking around."

Chris grinned, wrapping an arm around her. "Good. I was getting tired of pretending you weren’t the best thing that ever happened to me."

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes shining. "You’re pretty alright too."

They laughed, the chaos of the day melting away as they basked in the glow of their new chapter—together, and finally free to share it with the world.

[thehighladywrites]

— “Let’s try something new.”

pairing: professor eris x reader, feyre makes an appearance

summary: Eris surprises you with a little surprise before your exam. After a fun session you insist on going home, so your friends won’t see you. But what happens when he’s nowhere near?

warnings: 18+, nsfw, smutty scenes, fem reader, professor x student relationship, both are obviously of age,semi public sex, remote controlled vibrator, eris both slightly degrading and praising (love that),kidnapping oop👀

amara’s note: this is kind of a wild one, we also get new info of eris’s background👀 this is especially dedicated for all the eris haters and antis💗 if u find any typos, your eyes are deceiving you. Also yes I know reader getting kidnapped is SO 2014 wattpad y/n with her orbs getting sold to a mafia boss coded but it’s for the plottttt🫡🫡

part 1 part 2 part 2,5 part 3

The sound of the loud fan and random coughs echoed through the silent lecture hall, the only sounds where the clicking of mechanical pens and the rustle of turning paper.

The literature exam wasn’t really something you were worrying about since you were dating eris so you just sat there looking pretty, thinking of ways to have fun with him later on. Life really was more beautiful when you didn’t have to worry about stuff like exams and hard work.

Eris always taught you the night after anyways. And it was much more fun being in his bed as he’s teaching you things, giving you rewards if you answer correctly and punishments if you answered incorrectly.

Your thighs clenched at the idea and you subtly bit your thumb at the thought of tonight.

You felt a zap in your lower stomach, clenching your legs even harder as you remembered that you had a vibrator in you. That’s right, you nearly forgot about the way Eris had slutted you out on his desk before asking if you wanted to try something new today.

He had pulled out an oval shaped, bright pink little vibrator. It was shapes like a U so that it was nestled deep against your g-spot while stimulating the clit at the same time.

At first you were a bit embarrassed at the way he just casually put it in your palm for you to examine. His eyes had darken at the way your cheeks had heated. The goosepumps, indicating your excitement, almost made him pounce on you again.

“It’s not very big. You sure this will feel nice?”

He smiles, gently pushing your hair behind your ear before planting a soft kiss on your plush lips.

“I assure you, you will feel pleasure.”

You decided to be petty, stirring the pot a little.

“Interesting. And how exactly do you know that this feels nice? Have you tested it on other girls?”

His lips twitch in a smirk.

“I’ve tested it on myself.”

Your eyes widen at his casual answer. Eris in bed playing with himself sounded like grade A masturbation material, holy fuck.

His smirk only widened at your shocked face.

“Why deprive myself of such pleasure?”

You nodded, your mind feeling a bit fuzzy.

“Uh-huh. You really shouldn't. And neither should I. So, please put it in me.”

“Open your mouth, sweetheart.”

You obey, lolling out your tounge as he puts the toy in your mouth for you to wet.

You hop of his desk and turn around, bending over as you push your skirt up. His hand massages your ass before slapping it, enjoying the way you yelp.

Eris glances down at his F.P. Journe, clicking his tongue at the amount of time remaining before his hall fills with bothersome students.

He can’t wait for the day you graduate and he can finally leave this fucking place. There’s really nothing keeping him here anymore except you. He finally found a legal business he can use as a front so there was really no need to keep playing professor.

It really fucking irked him that teaching a bunch of hormornal idiots was the job his father had decided to use as a front for the business. But money had to come legally from somewhere right?

Convincing people that the mansion was an ancient family estate passed down through generations proved ridiculously easy. Despite the entire place being new, the idiots didn't bother checking the details.

You wiggle a bit, trying to get him out of his thoughts before the doors infront of you opened. Eris quickly put the toy in with a grin, not surprised by how easy it slid in considering how many times he had you finishing on his tounge.

You rise and shift your weight between your feet, ensuring everything feels just right.

“Oh, i just feel light pressure. Will people hear it?”

“No, not at all. Do you want to try it out before you sit down?”

You nod then almost fall to your knees at the strong vibrations. Letting out a sharp gasp you grab onto his shirt, curling your fist in his shirt.

“How do you feel, my love?”

You take a step closer, resting your head on his steady, beating heart.

“Good. I feel really fucking good.”

Once again, he slaps your ass and this time it feels so much better.

“Mind your language.”

Grabbing his shoulders, you jerk him down and kiss him hard, licking and biting his lips before grabbing your bag and using the side entrance to leave the hall, only to come in with the other students through the big doors.

—

Class started 5 minutes late because Eris needed his hard on to calm down. He was for sure getting you back for it. So when he opened the doors, he told everyone you had assigned seats because of the exams when in reality, he wanted you to have the last row to yourself. There was no one sitting in the back except for you so there was plenty of room for some fun.

The test, a multi-page character analysis and study on one of the course books, was handed to you by Eris along with a few extra pens to occupy yourself. But you still tried your best. He was still your professor and you really wanted to show him that you belonged in his class, you wanted to make him proud of you.

All that flew out of your mind when he started the toy, making your whole body tense before relaxing.

Eris started explaining everything to the class and asked if anyone had any questions before starting.

Then the bastard looked dead into your eyes and asked while he upped the speed,

“Any questions in the back?”

You clenched your legs together and gripped your pen so hard it started to crack,

“No professor.”

He nodded, a ghost of a smile on his and told everyone to start.

Seated, you struggled to answer the questions, constantly distracted by him and the pesky remote tucked in his slacks. Squirming in your seat, your face warmed, attempting to swallow with a dry throat.

It felt so good, having every part of you stimulated. Your entire body was always on edge, goosebumps and heat flaring your body. The onlu thing you hated was that during these two hours of pure ecstasy, he didn’t let you cum once. You were only brought to the knife sharp edge and had pleasure taken away. You considered just fixing it yourself had it not been for your nerves and the other students there.

Finally the exam ended and everyone left to discuss their answers at the cafeteria but you stayed put in your chair, convinced that if you moved, there would be a big stain. When the last student left and Eris locked the doors, you stood up, grabbed your things and tried to leave the room. If he didn’t allow you to cum then you wouldn’t allow him to touch you.

Seated in his chair, he observed your every move until you reached the door. Just as you were about to leave, he pressed the highest setting, causing your knees to wobble.

“Tell me, dear. Why are you so angry at me?”

He approached, crouching beside you, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

Okay, maybe he could touch you.

“I’m- wait, it’s too much, Er, please.”

Eris looked at you with mock sympathy and simply went on.

“Did you want to cum? Is that it, hm? My beautiful girl is angry because I didn’t let her cum in a classroom full of others? Are you truly that needy?”

His words mixed with the intensity of the vibrations had you seeing white. You came with a cry, head thrown back and hands grabbing his forearms in a steel grip.

“May I have some more?” you asked with a smile. In response, he mirrored your smile and gladly fulfilled your request.

—

After spending time with Eris in his office, he offered to drive you home, but you opted to walk to avoid being seen by friends at a nearby party.

You should have just let him fucking drive you home

The crisp autumn evening turned unexpectedly traumatic as you strolled home with your AirPods in. An eerie sensation of being followed grew, fueled by a black sedan trailing a few feet away. Heightened paranoia set in, prompting you to quicken your pace.

The car halted, and a tall, red-headed man emerged, his footsteps thudded against the dark sidewalk behind you. As he approached, tension heightened until an unsettling silence fell. Your fight-or-flight instincts peaked, and you turned to confront him, only to find no one there.

Annoyed and frightened, you turned around, only to encounter a wall of muscles but before you could scream, everything went black.

—

Feyre’s pov:

“The number you have dialed is not available right now-”

She tosses her phone onto the couch, wondering where you are. The plan was to get ready together before heading to the party she insisted on attending. She was informed if TA Rhysand's presence, and she couldn't resist checking it out.

She was starting to wonder where you were. You mentioned being ‘busy’with Eris after class, but this was dragging on. Maybe you just decided to bail, but it's odd since you're usually stuck to your phone, and she didn't get a text or anything.

Feyre got a bad feeling in her stomach and decided to pay Eris a visit. She knew it wasn't really appropriate to show up at his place, but that gut feeling wouldn't let go.

And if you were at his house, she’d simply murder you for ignoring her.

You had given her Eris' address a few weeks back, just in case she needed to get in touch with you urgently. Now, she really hoped this wasn't turning into an emergency.

She rolled up to Eris's place, this big gate in the way. Hit the intercom button, started talking.

“Hi professor, it’s me, Feyre Archeron in your AP lit class. Listen, I know this might be inappropriate or whatever but is Y/N in there? I just really need to know since she’s not answering her phone and I haven’t seen her since the exam. If she’s there it’s fine and I understand and I will get outta here but-”

Eris buzzes her in and bolts out to the courtyard before Feyre can even ask about his fancy estate.

Feyre's eyebrows furrow as only Eris appears.

“ Wait, where is she?” she questions.

Eris looks at her with panic, revealing that you left nearly an hour ago.

“Well, if she isn't here, then where the hell is she? Do you think something happened?” Feyre demands.

Eris's eyes harden, jaw clenching.

“Trust me, I'll find out,” he grits out before instructing Feyre to come inside.

🏷️ taglist: @danikamariewrites @daycourtofficial @teenageeggscissorslawyer @jeannineee @natashachelsea @candyjaypoppins @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @acourtofbatboydreams @nocasdatsgay @cyrygher @amara-moonlight @fell-in-luvs @hanitastic @culiehua @daughterofthemoons-stuff @itsphoenix0724 @vanserrasswife @rowaelinsdaughter @redbleedingrose @acourtofwhatthefuck @clairebear08 @hieragalbatorixdottir @rromani-witch @vellichor01 @mischiefmanagers @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @icey--stars @alysena2 @loneliestluvr @meshellexplosionmurder @whatthefuckshappeningrn @thelov3lybookworm @eminvelaris @v3lv3tf0x

[radiowendigo]

HERE IT IS!! After four something days it’s finally done my lord. This one is super fluffy.

It was a regular day at headquarters and Riley just got home after a productive day at high school. Which included two tests from two different courses. Despite intense preparation, it peaked Anxiety’s nerves even more. Joy and some of the other emotions had to intervene before it got out of control. Riley finished her homework, which included history and biology. It was difficult at first, but she eventually grasped the majority of it and finished her schoolwork.

Riley was getting ready for bed when Joy saw that Anxiety remained tense from today. Even after drinking anti-anxiety tea and spending some time relaxing on her massage chair. When Riley eventually fell asleep, the majority of the emotions started to depart from headquarters in preparation for their own bedtime. They all needed to get a good night's rest because Bree and Grace were coming over tomorrow!

While on dream duty tonight, Joy observed Ennui, who was walking away slowly with the others yawning. Suddenly, an idea struck her, and she sprinted towards Ennui, grinning with excitement.

“Hey, Oui, Ou!” Joy called.

“Hm?” Ennui’s head turned to look at the bright emotion.

“Say, you and Anxiety seem to be really close friends. Do you think it would be too much trouble to ask if you could help Anxiety relax so she’s up and ready for tomorrow?” Joy asked.

“Sure.” Ennui replied.

“Great! Thanks so much, Oui, Oui!” Joy said happily.

Ennui just sighed, turning away not bothering to correct her at this point and started looking for Anxiety. In their room, which they shared with Embarrassment and Envy, she didn't see her there. Upon entering the lounge area, she discovered Anxiety scribbling away notes on her clipboard. Ennui took a step closer, causing Anxiety to notice her and yelp in shock before turning back to her papers.

“What are you doing?” Ennui asked.

“I am writing plans for the weekend and the following scenarios that could come with these plans! We got Bree and Grace coming over tomorrow, and we might go out for a drink or lunch. So, I’m writing down which cafes and restaurants we could pick so we’re ready right away. And if neither of those work, there’s the park and we can have a picnic there. And we’ll need to be nicely dressed for all these outings, so, I wrote down some basic but fashionable outfits for Riley so that she stands out, but not too much. Then, on Sunday, mom and dad are taking us for a nature walk and—“

Exhausted from the lengthy speech, Ennui groaned, rolling her eyes back into her head. She moved closer to Anxiety who was still rambling and pulled down her clip board, causing Anxiety to stop and glance up at her.

“Oh, la, la, Anxiety. You’re going so fast I can’t even keep up anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I just got a little ahead of myself.” Anxiety laughed nervously, but looked away a little embarrassed.

“Don’t worry about it. Do you want some tea?”

“Huh?” Anxiety looked back at Ennui stunned. Ennui has never offered her something like this before.

“Sure.” Anxiety replied smiling softly.

Ennui felt content, knowing that her proposal was effective and benefiting her friend.

“Alright. I’m going to make it. I’ll come back with it when it’s ready.”

“Thanks a lot!”

Ennui smiled to herself and walked out of the room to go make her tea. Five minutes passed and Ennui returned holding a dark orange mug of anti-anxiety tea. She handed it to Anxiety who was sitting on the couch analyzing and editing some notes on her clipboard.

“Here. Be careful it’s hot.” Ennui warned while using her other hand to take the clipboard and pencil from Anxiety.

“Thanks, mon ami.” Anxiety said while grabbing the mug taking a small sip and hummed in pleasure.

“How is it?”

“Really good, thanks.” Anxiety replied.

“I’m glad. Enjoy.” Ennui said softly. Pleased to see Anxiety enjoying her beverage and that she made it good. After Anxiety finished her drink, she observed Ennui, who was lying down on the couch typing away on her phone. Anxiety was fascinated by so many things about Ennui. Including the way she looked. Her skin tone, the way she dressed and managed to pull it all together, and her hair. Sometimes she really wanted to touch her hair, but was terrified to ask, worried she would cross a boundary.

Anxiety enjoyed playing with and feeling various textures as a means of self-soothing. After a while, Ennui’s hair became one of Anxiety’s few most desired objects to touch. The thought of touching Ennui’s thick, purple strands made Anxiety’s whole body shake in anticipation to her very core. Soon Ennui looked up at Anxiety after noticing her staring at her.

“Do you need anything else?” Ennui asked unbothered.

Anxiety gasped and looked around the room scratching the back of her neck in a way to calm herself.

“Uh. This might. Sound..a little unexpected and you can say no. But,..could I possibly..braid your hair? Please?..” with trepidation, Anxiety questioned, her voice fading as she finished her sentence.

The silence was loud after that.

Ennui's eyes widened slightly as she wasn't expecting that answer. She then lightly exhaled making Anxiety fear she passed a boundary.

“Sure.” Ennui finally said.

Anxiety just continued to stare at her, dumbfounded.

“Are you sure?” Anxiety checked.

“Oui. Go ahead.”

“Okay!” Anxiety squealed after which made Ennui blushed lightly but didn’t notice. Jogging to Ennui, who slithered to the centre of the couch so Anxiety could comfortably sit behind her, began working on Ennui’s strands while she kept scrolling her phone.

Ennui sighed in pleasure, feeling relaxed at the feeling of her hair being played with and Anxiety’s fingers running through her locks.

“You enjoying that?” Anxiety asked.

“Oui. It feels really nice.” Ennui hummed.

“Glad to hear!” Anxiety chirped continuing her work. After a few more braids it was completed! A traditional braid. Anxiety brushed her index finger delicately over each braid while grinning pleased at her work.

“Do you want to see the finished project?” Anxiety asked eagerly. Ennui chuckled.

“Sure.”

Anxiety left the room and came back with a bedroom mirror and placed it in front of the indigo emotion.

Ennui sat up and looked through her braid and smiled. Anxiety sure knew how to braid hair.

“It looks nice. Merci.”

“No problem! Thank you so much for letting me do it again.” Anxiety said grinning sheepily.

Ennui was happy to see that Anxiety was less nervous than before. She glanced at her tenderly while Anxiety continued to discuss about her hair. It seems that her plans for the weekend were long ago. Afterwords, Anxiety went to look out at the window. Ennui went back to her phone. The window had a view of some of Riley’s islands and long-term memory. Some time passed and Anxiety began to toy with her hands; she had no idea why, but ideas for the weekend were returning. Ennui's ears soon perked by the quick motion of Anxiety’s skin rubbing against each other, so she lowered her phone and faced the window.

“Are you still worrying about tomorrow, again?” Ennui questioned a little worried.

“Oh.” Anxiety’s hands froze. “Yeah. I’m sorry.” Anxiety said, shame in her voice.

“I have an idea. Come.” Ennui said gesturing for Anxiety to approach her with a wave of her arm.

Nodding, Anxiety made her way back to the couch, wondering what Ennui had in store this time. Ennui searched for a ten-hour asmr rain video. After taking her earplugs out of her sweatpants pocket and carefully inserting them into Anxiety's ears, she turned on the video. After taking a moment to grasp what was happening, Anxiety smiled, relaxed, and crept towards the couch wall, causing Ennui to smile subtle.

After a few minutes, Anxiety's eyes started to go heavy as she imagined herself actually being beneath a cabin while listening to the gentle rain. Ennui yawned and put an arm around Anxiety's shoulder on the couch. Anxiety’s eyes popped open and nearly lost it, blushing heavily, but managed to control herself. Ennui rested her head on top of Anxiety’s making her heart race. Anxiety slowly closed her eyes and tried to focus on going to sleep, and it worked. Anxiety’s head landed gently on Ennui’s shoulder. The two emotions fell asleep resting against each other. Joy came in the room a while later to check up on them, and was touched to what she saw.

“Good job, Ennui.”

(In this story, Anxiety and Ennui haven’t revealed their feelings for each other yet or even shown signs that they like each other, so it’s just two goobers being flustered and sweet with each other :3)

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

thought to myself u know what. i havent watched falsettos enough. so here's a couple things i noticed in my latest impromptu rewatch (rewatch number 52th probably?? 67th?) + just some nice bits n parallel that are always Good (tm):

"he loves another" "i agree" with ("-man") going unsaid

the chess games following trina's song about stupid men and their little games

"that's the king. please protect him" That's marvin saying "please protect me. don't hurt me"

whizzer moves the pieces randomly in the revival but i like to imagine he's actually beating marvin at the game in the end... and the whole thing was him pretending to not know how to play, and that hurt marvin's ego more than anything

"now marvin, bend" as a sexy moment but later gets re-framed as a "unwillingness to change perspective" moment

"nothing is everything to me / except sex / and money" in that money whizzer is playing to marvin's insecurity that he's only sticking with marvin for his money- is so needlessly cruel (and thus such... delicious character writing lol)

"and he loves me so" that "so" at the end is sort of a "loves me so much" but also a dare. he loves me, so what can you even do about that?"

"ask me if i love him, it depends on the day"// "do i love him?… no"

"son with a brain, and nice bright mother" showing mendel is like marvin (+ many, many men) and wants a wife half just to do domestic labor for him (goes well with the "washing your laundry, washing your socks!" line)

"he loves his father" // "i love things i never had"

"im everything he wanted" here trina finally realizes how she was such a insecure woman for such a long time and why she could put up with so much / settle for so little ("love me for what i am, not what i try to be" etc)

i love that "what ive done to you is rotten" is the slap to trina, is not taking to jason about his sexuality, and is Also telling trina and jason he "never ever, wanted to love" them. triple treat of bad parenting lol (but our man gets there in the end #bless him)

"a man kid, you'll be kid, whatever your song" the kind of reversed coming out metaphor of it all. ugh. so good!! (also i always cry at this bit bc... i will never have this with my parents :) rip haha whoops)

"pretty boys are in demand" just a good line for the whole gay men dying everywhere + the 'dating frenzy' energy of the era

"im not a giant man" /"good" // "one day i hope to be / as mature as my son who is 12 and a half / and this tall… that's all i want to be, that's all"

"we'll spent BILLIONS of dollars" and then the actual thing plays the way it does

"making the most pathetical errors" as a metaphor for marvin's arc…. making constant errors in love but making a homerun at the end

"should i take this new promotion OR should i take this IBM job?" is an amazing, anti-corporate lyric that fits greatly w/ the most explicitly political (likely authorial) song in the musical that, imho, shouldn't have been cut in the revival. in hindsight tho i imagine the revival people felt very proud and """progressive""" when they made that cut lol is very much a typical liberal move: "cant have true emancipation or revolutions but u cant have some \~upward mobility in the job market xoxo". also on the same vein, cutting the line "i'll change my life, and hire a maid" from the og "and fire the maid" like it's this huge feminist moment lol ughhhh hh

(other line-cuts that frustrate me… "it's queer, mr. marvin", "i could use a little drink" and "i just bought a family" . i feel w/ all of these they tooks some "edge" of the OG characters and kind of attempted to make them "nicer". but it really just makes them a little flatter, a little less real) ( and also some scenes just plain make less sense (marvin's drink line leading to his outburst)

(but bc it's not All Bad sdklfj in fairness, i belie the whole "why don't we tell him, that we don't have the awnsers? (…) this is the start to his becoming a man" bit - is SUCH a great part for mendel, it goes so hard and from what i remember is not in the original falsettos? correct me if im wrong but if it was a new addition in the revival, imo it's a huge improvement to the scene flow… and dare i say, brings the whole climax together, and spells out The Aesop for people who hadn't gotten it by the end of Act 2) -"let me go, im not ashamed to have loved you" // "what's the matter trina, darling, why cant you let go?" -"feel all right for the rest of your life" The Message of the play implicit in it.. "even if it's cut short"

"you save lives, and i serve chicken fat / i can't fucking deal wit hthat" / "maybe is not dumb the way this whole thing ends / the food tastes really yummy!"

"it's about growing up, getting older, living on a lover's shoulder" /"but i confess, you grow up, you get old, you hate less"

"the ground shifting, the rules keeps changing" and it's when the set changes for the first time!!! (/eats all my walls)

"isn't it enough i love you every night?" "who?" // "we had trouble parking, just like on our second date" "i hyperventilate"

"good men never fail" // "but i can't help but feeling i've failed " proving once again those machista lessons marvin learned when young were wrong.... it's clear that him showing weakness at that moment to whizzer was The Right Thing To Do. and what the moment called for.

"the last little mountain ill climb" sound of music ref? maybe?

i only wanted to love and not be blamed " // "who would i blame my life on?"

[firefly--bright]

come january. (2)

jean kirstein x fem!reader, modern au. part two of this fic.

summary ; to love someone is to know someone, fully, wholly, and jean fulfills this, wholly, knowingly.

warnings ; badly written smut, MDNI. ive never written smut before so its probably going to be bad. please tread carefully. literally the most vanilla sex u can ever imagine. too wordy.

a/n ; as said before ive never done this before and i really dont think writing smut is my forte with my writing style? but. i've had ideas and i just wanted to explore the idea of writing it. as practice. or wtv. so if you dont like it pls feel free to not interact at all OR leave a constructive criticism in my askbox/messages.

taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable

again, MDNI. any and all minors who interact with this post will be blocked! this is a direct part two of this post, so reading it within context would be better :D

masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿

middle tile art creda to @yuka-levi on twt!

Everything happens. Universes are created, ended, made again. Strings – thick, usually unbreaking and strong, snap apart when his lips are on yours and you lose everything you ever thought you might had in him. And it belongs there, you think, because it feels right.

You pull apart, breaths heavy, hearts lighter, burrowed in each other's chests so deeply that it would take a skilled surgeon to replace them again. Your smile is still present on your face, gentle, whole, and your smile makes him smile even if his eyes are closed. There's a distance pop followed by a big bright flash of beautiful golden and you open your eyes, turning to the source. Fireworks. Another one, farther away, flashes out in all its glory, looking like the birth of a star. Jean’s head rests on your shoulder, his hands cupping your cheek, not taking his eyes away from you, watching the light dance on your features, lighting the tip of your nose and side of your cheek, kissing the corner where your ear meets your jaw because he finally can. Because he wants to, because he finds himself present there, with you and against you.

You inhale as his kisses spread further down your neck, your heart beating with the numerous fireworks in the sky only for you to realise that the new year was here and he was by your side, on your side just as he was supposed to be. You turned and his kisses trailed to the apple of your cheeks, to where your smile met your eyes.

“jean.” You said, your voice overlapping the boom of the firework, and jean hummed, his lips resting on your forehead, unmoving and you could feel his own soft smile on your skin. His hands cup your jaw, and yours lay on his cheek, guiding his eyes to meet yours again.

“happy new year.” You say, and he swallows the sound of your voice, proving your existence to be heard and seen. “happy new year.” He echoes, proving his own life, breathing it into you. “I love you.” your smile turns softer. You echo back, “I love you too, jean.” You thumb rests on his cheek, his eyes fluttering close, brows furrowing slightly, his breath on yours, and he thinks about how his name has always been yours to say, thinking briefly about changing his name so that no one but you could say it, utter himself into his being.

But he doesn’t because you’ll have him as he is, and his lips are on yours again because he wants to taste how it feels like to be. You lean back with the force of his lips, humming shortly into him, goosebumps covering your skin as his hand grazes over your thigh, keeping you in your reality, locking you into a promise, into a routine that he wouldn’t change. You loose focus, his eyelashes feel nice against yours, his hands feel warm on you, his hair feels so soft under your hands and he feels twice more real than anything ever has and ever could. He kisses you with soft force, wanting you to know that you still have choice, but knowing you’d choose him. Over and over again.

His tongue mingles with yours, no hesitance behind his teeth, nothing that could make him reluctant. Second nature. Muscle memory. You allow him just the same, a small noise escaping your throat not in disagreement but with just the opposite. His hand leaves your thigh to support you as you lean further back, unable to hold yourself up for longer. You pull back, his lips still following your every move.

“we should- we...inside?” you ask, loosing coherence, but jean catches the meaning you throw away so easily. He nods against yours, and you feel your noses bump.

climbing down is muscle memory. Second nature. Routine, whatever you want to call it, but the moonlight at hushed words that were exchanged made it become more of a shrine of itself that it really was. Like always, like all the times before this one where you were less hidden but also less seen, jean helps you down. you climb with your feelings in your throat, your love spilling everywhere you'd touch, which makes you grab his hand with even more fervor as he helps you down, slipping in the room from the ledge.

Sitting on the edge of the bed of the spare guest room, you catch your breath. Jean stands near the window, supporting himself on it after closing it, trying keeping his own breath controlled, enjoying the view. He cant stop the smile that seems to now find his home on his lips without care. He’d get your lips tattooed on the inside of his ribs if he, carve your name that was always meant to be his into his bones so in the future, after being buried next to you, they’d be in a museum for people to connect the dots themselves.

Seconds pass. They feel like hours, and he leaves his spot on the window, kneeling infront of you, placing one hand beside you and one on your knee, travelling up slowly, finding god in the way your expression shifted so easily and openly infront of him, your breath hitching, leaning down to capture his lips again. Its different this time, if only a little, because the gentle warmth had progressed into a proper temperature, you think, as you rest your hand on the junction between his neck and his shoulder, your other one drawing soft shapes into his back despite the weight of the kiss. His tongue was on yours again, stealing all the words you thought you could speak but giving them their home anyway. Gasping as he pulled away, all control is left to be picked up by the wind as he leans over you, pressing himself onto you, your back hitting the soft mattress gently, his lips touching every part of you that was exposed, kissing the lines of your collarbones, every vein and muscle that was hidden, ashamed under your skin igniting with colours that you didn’t know existed. “jean,”

He hummed on your skin again, his voice cracking. He supported his weight on his arm that held itself next to your head, his eyes closed into you, feeling your own hands everywhere on himself, warmth spreading across his body. His hand lifts your leg up, his hand moving upward, feeling the rest of your body, the parts you hadn’t shown.

“jean, wait-“ you say. He pulls apart instantly, concern clouding his features as he peers at you, his lips still close to yours. speaking takes a lot of control, something you try to seize after everything he’s done to make you forget it exists, “the door.” You mutter, your hand on his jaw. He pauses, glancing at the lock that was left open before, and nods reluctantly. He doesn’t want to let go, and you agree, and you’re sure he knows it because your hand is still in his hair as he gets up. You do, too, opting to use the time to pull the zipper of your dress down.

If this was someone else – not that you’d want it to be – you’d have preferred to be more lost in the moment, but this was jean. Your jean, where every moment spent with him was spent lost within it. So you’d take your time because you had it. He wasn’t going anywhere – this was routine. Second nature, and jean turned back around from locking the door, breathing in to calm himself down again despite knowing that his breath was going to quicken, and it did. Or maybe he just lost all of it. All his thoughts stilled, only one ringing out in his ears along with his fastening heartrate, his cheeks red.

You're beautiful. With your clothes now pulled away, leaving you with your undergarments and the dim but present light shrouding your figure, lighting your hair, a small smile playing on your face.

You're beautiful. not that you weren't before but this - closest to divinity, closest to himself. Matching your state, jean decides to join you by removing his vest and the shirt that was underneath all in one swipe, while still taking long strides towards where you sat. his lips found yours as if they had never left, resuming your positions. Your hands find themselves undoing his belt as he presses kisses – soft, beautiful, full of words he couldn’t spell out – unclasping the hook of your bra with one hand, his own hands going down your back, tracing your spine that arched slightly, covered in goosebumps. Not because of the cold but because of how warm his touch was, because you were sure no-one had come close to the amount of softness that he held towards you. his lips were the complete opposite, his kisses fleeting but solid, sloppy but definite, sure of himself, of the fact that he wanted this – you. just you. everything with you.

He pulls away again and you suppress a whine, but he doesn’t go far – just enough to remove his trousers comfortably, throwing them somewhere on the floor along with the rest of his belongings. He doesn’t need them anymore because he has you and he belongs here, with you, more than he belongs with anything else he attaches himself with. Your pupils are blown wide and he sees the admiration in them, smirking when he catches you looking at him, your eyes going over every part of him without so much as an ounce of shame, unabashedly, maybe even a little proud.

He looks like god. His chest, well built moves up and down rapidly, his forearms outlining his veins, the slant of his chest that connected to his shoulders looked the closest to belonging you had ever felt. You shuddered as your eyes went even further down, taking in the contour of his dick, the fabric pulled taught, snapping your eyes to his again. And there lay your favorite view, even after seeing almost everything he had offered with simple actions and simpler existence, his eyes were always your favorite part – lit up but gauging your reaction, glazed over with everything he wanted.

“like what you see, beautiful?” he asks, leaning forward again, hovering over you with the same smile. your knees locked against either side of his waist, and you pull him in by the back of his neck to shut him up. “need what I see.” you whispered, your lips spelling it out on his own. He lifted your thigh, giving in.

his hands are everywhere. They're all your know, you're sure your skin could remember every callus and scar on them because of it. One settles on your hip, finally, the other still taking its time roaming on you, claiming its place near your upper thigh. His thumb his feather light, shadowy, whispering against the hem of your underwear, making you gasp. There's a spark in you that threatens to grow into something more, and you don’t know where to put your own hands. One circles his neck, playing with the ends of his hair – something that makes him stutter his movements. Your other hand, however, has plans of its own, carrying itself over to the waistband of his trunks, sliding further down, grazing the outline you had studied before. He grunts next to your ear. He licks his lips, his voice husky when he whispers into your ear, “god, you’re so beautiful.”

Not giving you a chance to reply if you even had one ready, he melts you into putty, his warm lips circling your nipple. Your strings are fraying, and his hand that had been resting on your hips is on your waist now, and you feel your voice calling out to him, pleading.

The spark grows, a knot forming in your core, “want- please, jean-“

“im yours, love.” He rasps, his tongue swirling around, making you gasp. You cupped your hand where it was, his size making another round of shivers run down your spine, his whimper on your breast, your skin soaking every sound as if it would save you from further decomposition, pulling the hem of his underwear down, feeling the size of his cock against you now. The spark evolves itself into something greater and you moan, his hand pushing your underwear aside. Whatever the spark was is now long gone, increasing its size into a fire, consuming your body, making your skin feel hot. He calls out your name, strained, gentle.

Your heart beating was probably the only proof of you being in this moment; the rest of your being had been fully consumed by jean, his lips sucking your neck, feeling your pulse in his mouth, trying with all his might to not give you everything he had, even if he was sure you already had it, drawn out and in front of him. He pulled you closer to him, your thighs hooked around his waist so you could feel him, and he could feel you, ready and wanting and waiting, your whimpers reaching his ears, settling in his chest, making him move, his muscles rippling with effort, all of which you could feel under your trembling fingers, gripping his shoulders with force as he pushed himself into you, filling you completely, slowly, wholly.  

Everything opened. Sounds felt a little like they were underwater, and it took you a while to accommodate him, his hips grazing yours, and he was saying something. You exhaled shakily and everything closed again, and you could hear him clearly now, his voice the only thing that could guide you.

“feels..so good, sweetheart-“ he says, his tone being something you hadn’t heard from him before. you like it, enjoy it more than the moment youre caught up against. His voice slinks against your body, deep and uncontrolled because it was with you and for you, his lips nest to the cup of your ear making sure you could feel each syllable at its peaks and lows. “tu es fait pour moi, mon amour.” He rasps. You don’t know what he means, but you can feel it with the way his hands circle your clit. It feels like he’s worshipping you – every part of you being looked at gently, just as you were supposed to, and he feels like prayer to you because his name is the only thing you know how to speak. You repeat it with your eyes fluttering closed, feeling the fire turning, meeting something new.

Your mouth only sings of him. Its muscle memory as he pushes inside you again, guiding your thigh delicately and you want to burrow yourself into him, let him sink into you like he’s doing for the rest of how much ever youre allowed to have. The flame heats you up from the inside, spreading across every part of your body once again and if you’ve felt like this before, this overtakes. You don’t know what to call it – feelings and words other than the moment feel far away and untouched.

you hardly have the time to ask him what it means, lost in the way he feels. Spark. Flame? Youre not sure what it is, hardly sure of what you are either, he’s pushing in you now, grunting softly beside your ear, and whatever that was is growing now, fast. “god, love-“ “jean,” the two of you say at the same time, his voice sending shivers down your warm spine, everything is spinning. This feeling isn’t routine, isn’t something you’ve ever felt before but you welcome it as if it was a part of your own body. He pushes in again, everything builds up and crumbles at the same time. Thoughts are broken, sentences are just strings of words and he fills you, fully. Again. Tightening, beauty that comes close to discomfort only if it weren’t with him. It feels right.

he says your name breathily, his voice strained like he’s been thinking about saying it for a longer time than this. “I’m g’nna.. oh,” he says, and his voice is the only thing that you can hold onto beside himself, your hand gripping his hair while the other one roamed in the limited space between his shoulder and toned arms, nails scratch, and scratching his skin just enough to leave light, red marks, that matched the blush on his cheeks. “can i- sh…uh,” he says, making you blink him into focus, a tear rolling down your cheek. Your heart squeezes when his face becomes clearer, his brows knit tight. “I’m sorry,” he says, barely a whisper, only the proof of one. You shake your head gently, your hand freeing itself from his hair and resting on his cheek, thumbing the tear away. “jean… it’s okay, love.” “im, I just… never felt this before?” he explains, or tries to at least, grasping onto the only meaning he could find – you. his hand clasping your thigh. His hand near your head, strands of your hair under his thumb. He breathes, ribs turning putty, heart molding itself around your hand, creating a cast. That’s where it belongs, he thinks. “I know. I haven’t either.” You confirm. Theres two of you now, worlds apart from where everyone else would be, and he looks at you, your eyes holding that sheen on them, cheeks stretched with a small smile and thinks about how unbroken the moment was. No space between your bodies, comfortable unpredictability. His bones hum with familiarity, being this close to you - sending something close to electricity but far more close to divinity into his heart. He nods, kissing the corner of your mouth. Then your jaw. Then your forehead.

“don’t hold back.” You tell him, unafraid. He nods, heart spurring.

Warmth, heat, spreading across your body and he goes a little faster, and you feel him everywhere, deeply, and your noises are only controlled by the barrier of your lips being bit by your teeth, something jean impossible notices, oulling your chin gently by his thumb. “don’t hold back on me either,” he’s so close to you.

So close. Your grip on his shoulder tightens, leaving a mark, his name leaving your mouth, freeing itself from wherever it was within you as if it was a part of you. he says your name just the same, his voice carrying out in the confines of the room, striking a chord only you can hear, only meant for you to understand. Your name has never felt like yours until he’s said it, like this, your back lifting, stomach touching his, and you feel the world collapsing, building. Flame turned into fire turned into smoke, your body shaking, sounds coming from your mouth merging with his and it stays there, unbroken, devouring, overwhelming. He’s out of you in what feeling like an instant but youre sure is slow, caring but time doesn’t make sense to you. the sheets under your legs are soaked, your muscles aching comfortably, unpredictably.

Your chest heaves, up and down, as does his, almost in sync. His strength sways as his body almost collapses onto yours, devouring, overwhelming, the scent of his rundown cologne and sweat and shampoo mixing into yours. devouring, overwhelming.

His lips are on your collarbone. You laugh with the little strength you have and jean drinks it up, a smile etching itself on his pink lips, his skin red. “we should.. do that more often.” You say. Your eyes closed, hand in his hair and he hums, nodding his head slightly, something you feel.

and this continues, becoming more than just a moment in your life, increasing itself into something that becomes your being. His knee bent, getting comfortable, and your thigh rests on his own, feeling his muscles underneath yours, skin to skin. It feels akin to holiness, but gods don’t have skin like you and jean. That’s their curse, you think, because you’d want to be human just to feel something like this again, no space between the two of you, legs entangled, warm, devouring, overwhelming, comfortable. If this was a new routine, you’d appreciate it for all the times to come.

His hand is pinned under your back and he lifts his head from your shoulder, resting It near your head, hair escaping and spilling next to yours. all of your parts meeting his. His eyes look at yours and you want to consume the look in them, something you wish was possible, but then he speaks and you think it is possible because his tone is the same as the way he looks at you – soft. Warm. Shining. “this may be the post nut clarity talking, but you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything that was right in front of me.”

Oh. Okay. He's saying what he wants to say, out of control, chest beating unexpectedly in control. A confession like this, under normal circumstances, would’ve been around in his head for about a week before actually having the bravery to speak it into existence, make it known. But with the prior fact already known – because it was you, of course you’d know – it was easy to say, and with that logic, everything became easy with you. not untethered but the exact opposite, everything was easy because it was connected and all of everything lead to you. always did. You breathe out shakily.

You kiss the crease between his brows, soothing it permanently, easing his features. You’ve never been good with words. When morning (or better yet, judging by how everything played out right now and how late it was, late afternoon) rolled around, jean was sure to have either a bouquet of flowers or an inexpensive gift with a full-fledged letter sitting on his desk, waiting for him in compensation. Either the letter or a text, you weren’t sure, the plan formulating in your head ass he breathed beside you, his breath fanning the side of your face.

you turn your face to his, opening your eyes again, looking into his. “if I told all of this to last year-me, I would’ve never believed it,”

He smirks. “cant believe you bagged the jean kirstein?” you scoff. “I hated your guts, I would’ve thrown up and asked myself what present-me was even thinking getting with that jean guy.” “oh,” he says, softly, his smirk slipping off his face comically. You laugh a little, shifting to your side to rest comfortably. His body shifts with yours, his hand now on the slight dip of your waist, thumb brushing your stomach.

“but present-me would tell her that I think… youre the most passionate and brave person I’ve ever met. And you make me laugh.” “its no that hard, y’know-“ “just take the compliment.” “yes ma’am.” He says, smiling drowsily, blinking slowly. You could capture his mouth in a kiss right now but you preferred to have it in front of your eyes instead of your lips. For now, of course. The promise of being able to see the same face with the same smile would mean you could kiss his lips and feel his mouth all over again, hundreds of times, like a beautiful predictability. Routine. He clears his throat. “thank you.” he says. You hum, gently, jean feels the vibrations of your voice against the thrum of his heart. He keeps it there.

“what… what else would you tell your past-self about… about that jean guy?” he asks, mainly to hear your voice again, under the guise of forgetting it every time you don’t speak, but really, its because he needs your voice to build the rope that he balances on. His hand reaches your cheek, feeling your words fully. You hum under his touch, thinking. “id tell her that… that jean guy is fucking annoying-“ “name one time ive annoyed you-“ “and pretentious.” “I have never once-“ “d’you remember when we went to that art gallery and you said that you 'loved how the elements juxtaposed each other'?” “…yeah.” “I thought you were just trying to sound smart.” “…I was.” You giggle at his admission. His ears tinge red, unseen because of the dark but not unknown because youre here.

“but I’d tell past-me that that same jean guy also held me when I needed it without asking. Made me laugh when I needed it without asking.” Theres a beat of silence. Jean breathes in, consuming your entirety, and youre okay with it. “that… this jean guy thought that past-me hated him because he was a dick.”

“yeah, I did,” he breathes out a laugh, continuing, “but then he – I – grew used to you. grew to like you. grew because and with you. and now present-me knows that present-you is resilient and patient and stubborn enough to stick with me.” “yeah, I should get an award for that.” “yeah, yeah, I’ll get you one.” He says, pulling you in closer with his arms, burrowing your face in his neck.

The moment would be unbroken. Even if the two of you had gotten up, reluctantly, after a while, under the bursting of fireworks, jean cleaned you up and helped you slip into your clothes again, fixing your appearance best you could. The moment remained unbroken as he held your hand, kissing your knuckles when you reached downstairs, catching sasha dancing with nicolo, connie on the table, marco trying to pry him down but not really wanting it to end, eren hyping him up. mikasa was somewhere behind him, with a small smile on her face as she glanced at you and jean’s interlocked fingers. The moment went unbroken even after the night ended, everyone hungover and piled on the floor of you and sasha’s shared living room even though the latter wasn’t even in her own home (she later texted you, extensively, about what happened with her and nicolo),  and jean woke up with a one page (front and back. You tried to keep it under the set word limit in your head but couldn’t) letter and a singular flower (you couldn’t afford to splurge until after your paycheck arrived). The moment remained unbroken even ass connie groaned about his hurting head and jean made fun of him for the same fact, marco glancing between the space – or lack of it – between the two of you as jean stood with an arm around your waist (something he later revealed he was panicking about in, his own words, “I didn’t even think much of it, I just sorta, did it, y’know,” but his eyes wouldn’t look directly at yours and the tips of his ears were red, a telltale lie).

The moment remained unbroken. It always would. Details kept safe, sound, intact, even while you retold it to your closest friends after only some pestering. Even after jean mulled over it on the most important day of his life, playing with his ring, adjusting his suit.

The moment, all the words and anatomy of it, remained unbroken. Beautiful. Holy.

✿

< previous

[buckychristwrites]

About You | Day 8 | j.t.

Summary: Your job? Pop culture journalist for The Independent. Your assignment? To write a profile on the cocky footballer that you're publicly feuding with.

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: Discussing tits?? Cussing. Enemies to lovers

A/N: Let me know what you think! :)

Masterlist | About You Masterlist | Main Blog

“Holy shit!”

Keeley’s face was horrified by the picture on your screen. It was your face the morning after the match. The bruising had spread from the bridge of your nose to your forehead and your cheeks. The swelling had been minimal, and you were lucky that you hadn’t gotten a black eye. You had still taken the day after the match off, however, for that reason, and because you desperately needed to get started on the article. 

Though, it had been weird being away. That had been the first day in a week where you didn’t see or hear from Jamie. There were too many instances where you thought about texting or phoning him. But ultimately, you didn’t speak to him at all. Maybe that was why you were able to be so productive. You had gotten a decent chunk written, and had transferred the audio, video and picture files all onto your laptop and organised them. 

But now you were back in action, face caked in makeup to hide the extensive bruises and anti-inflammatories taken to bring the swelling down. When you ran into Keeley in the car park, she had asked if you knew why Jamie had been pulled from the match. Roy, she had said, was so angry about it, despite the win they still claimed, that he just couldn’t tell her. So of course, you had to tell her what had happened. 

“He really pummelled him though?” She asked. You nodded. She looked pleased. “Good for him. That prick sounds like he deserved it.” Retelling the story had brought back the feelings from the day prior, making you shake your head.

“I’ve never been defended like that before.” 

You weren’t looking at her as you stared at the picture of yourself, but you could feel her studying your expression. 

“Jamie’s amazing to have on your side once you have him,” She said in a quiet voice. When you looked at her again, you could see what she was thinking just by the look on her face. It felt like she was seeing right through you, reading your mind. Maybe she was.

“He is,” You finally said with a nod. She nodded back in understanding, biting back a smile. 

You tried to distract yourself from the butterflies in your stomach. The breeze felt nice, blowing just enough to cool you down from the sunny warmth without being considered too windy. It felt a little too bright outside, but maybe that was from the injury you were sporting. Your head had been incredibly sensitive, easily developing a headache at the drop of a hat.

“Quite a relationship the two of you have developed over the last week,” She remarked innocently before taking a sip of her coffee. You broke eye contact as you began to look around. 

“It’s crazy what can be accomplished after yelling at each other in the car about our feelings,” You told her. 

Keeley was never a stupid woman, and you never took her for one. You could dance around the topic as much as you wanted, but you could tell by the way she looked at you in this moment, that she knew everything about the conundrum going on in your head. For a brief second, you considered the idea of talking to her about it. Maybe she’d have some insight for you. She was, after all, the most qualified person you knew to give you advice when it came to player number 9 of AFC Richmond. You took a deep breath.

“Can I tell-”

“Are we workin’ out here today?” 

The both of you jumped a kilometre in the air before whirling around. Jamie approached with a look of amusement on his face.

“Fuckin’ Christ, Jamie,” Keeley scolded with a hand dramatically over her heart. “You nearly gave me a fuckin’ heart attack.” He couldn’t help but grin mischievously while she continued to shake her head. Your heart was racing, and you knew it wasn’t just due to the fear you had felt moments before. 

“Sorry,” He said, without an ounce of apology in his tone. When he glanced at you, he immediately looked away, the smile on his face seeming to fade away. “Erm, would I be able to talk to ya?” He asked, his eyes finding you again. You looked over at Keeley with a look that begged her to stay.

“Well, see you guys later!” She said. If you hadn’t been paying attention, you would’ve missed the wink she gave you before scurrying off and disappearing through the door. 

“Right, erm.” He scratched the back of his neck, looking around as if something in the car park would help him. You watched him carefully. He looked so guilty, and sad. 

“I just, erm…” He tried again, but trailed off. Finally, he inhaled, clapping his hands together. “We missed ya at practice yesterday.” You bit the inside of your cheek.

“I missed it too,” You said. Though you knew that’s not what you missed. “I just… I just needed a day for proper work and rest, I think.” He nodded in understanding. 

“Your face looks much better than I thought it would,” He said, lifting a hand to point to where you got hit. You stared at his fingertips and remembered how they felt when cradling your head in that little room during the match. It was like your cheeks had the feeling burned into them, for they suddenly grew very warm. You felt embarrassed by how much you wish he would do it again.

“I’m wearing makeup,” You admitted before showing him the picture on your phone. His hand instantly went to face, running downward from his eyes to his chin before dropping back down to his side. His knuckles on that side were covered in bruises, and you had to actively tell yourself to look away.

“I should’ve been more worried about keepin’ you safe than lettin’ me anger get the best of me,” He said. “I know you said it wasn’t me who hit ya, but it still wouldn’t’ve happened if I hadn’t acted like a loon. I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I’m just so sorry.”

You wracked your brain in a desperate attempt to say something, anything, that would make him feel better. But you knew it was all in vain. You knew, in that moment, he was hearing his dad in his head, calling him a fuck up and a monster, or whatever it was he was thinking. But it was all in his expression, as he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the pavement. 

“You stood up for me,” You reminded him. “You were trying to protect me and keep me safe.” He nodded.

“I was worried ‘bout you bein’ upset by the way you rushed off after the match.”

It was true. When you had woken up back at Richmond that night, with Jamie’s arm around you and head using yours as a pillow, you were filled with a lovely feeling. The team were piling out at the time, clearly having seen the two of you already and no longer paying it any mind. You had woken him gently, allowing him to pull away from you on his own before you rose from your seat. A quick goodbye was exchanged before you left, trying and apparently failing, to appear nonchalant as you stepped off the coach and headed to your car. 

“Then you didn’t come in the next day,” Jamie continued, shrugging his shoulders. “I just… I just wanted to make sure you and I are alright.”

You wanted to comfort him with more than just words. With a hug, or the squeeze of a hand. It didn’t feel like the right moment, and you weren’t sure how he would handle the gesture, so you decided against it. You were suddenly hyper aware of your hands at your sides, so you shoved them in your pocket. 

“Of course we’re alright,” You said. “No other mate of mine would ever do what you did for me. You may have just gotten promoted to my best friend.” This seemed to placate him, for his face relaxed, now smiling slightly.

“You don’t have any friends who’d break a person’s teeth for ya?” He asked, astonished when you shook your head. “Sounds like ya need to get new mates, yeah?” You turned and started to walk towards the door, him following close behind.

“What makes a person a good friend to you?” You asked him as the fresh air turned into air conditioning. The hallway seemed more sparse than usual, but you wondered if that was because the two of you were now considered tardy.

“They just give a fuck about ya,” He explained, waving to the always excited security guard. “I used to think a good mate was just someone who I knew for a long time and could go to the club with.” He took a long moment to think. “But… now I know that the length of time doesn’t matter, it’s the quality of the person.”

As much as you felt bad about it, you were shocked by his answer.

“That was really thoughtful, Jamie,” You said, staring at him in awe. He straightened his posture. 

“I can be thoughtful, sometimes.” 

Upon entering the changing room, you were surrounded instantly by players, who all began talking at once and looking over you. You looked around between all of them, overwhelmed as you tried to pick out some of what they were saying.

“Is your nose okay?”

“We were worried when you didn’t come in yesterday!”

“Is it broken? It looks the same…”

“Gentlemen!” You announced, raising your hands up. They all stopped, the silence a huge contrast from a moment before. “My nose is fine, and not broken. It’s just very bruised and painful. I just needed to get some work done and rest my head yesterday, but I missed you all too.” 

They all calmed, even looking happy at your words. 

“Where’s the bruising?” Van Damme asked, looking closely at your face. “I don’t see any.” You pulled your face away.

“I’m wearing makeup, goofy.” He straightened, making an O shape with his mouth. 

“Women are so magical with their makeup abilities,” Dani said in a dreamy tone. “Shapeshifters, they are.” Rolling your eyes with the biggest smile on your face, you turned around and returned to Jamie, who had been watching the whole exchange with an amused grin.

“They really like ya,” He informed you. In the middle of pulling your notepad from your pocket, you froze and looked at him.

“They were more than worried when you didn’t come yesterday, they were havin’ a strop about it.” He pulled his shirt off. You tried not to stare. “Kept askin’ me if you were in hospital or somethin’.” You looked around at the team, who were now getting changed and not paying you any mind. It hadn’t occurred to you that you hadn’t just turned things around with Jamie, you had also changed things with them, as well. When you had started coming around, just over a week ago, they were all standoffish towards you, sending glares at every chance and keeping their distance. Now, they seemed to care about you just as much as you cared about them.

The coaches entered, looking around at the team. Their eyes all fell on you at once, and you thought they would be indifferent. But they all seemed to look almost relieved at the sight of you. The moment was gone as quick as it started, as they began to address the team while you took your notes.

Back to business as usual.

It was an average day on the pitch. For the first hour, you watched as normal. But you began to feel yourself getting antsy, as it seemed to be something you had been watching the same thing over and over again. You thought about the things you’d need from the article. Plenty of pictures filled your phone of him playing, but maybe taking pictures of the stadium itself would be nice. There were lots of pictures and posters of him hanging out that had been proudly displayed by ownership. Maybe you could get a comment from someone who wasn’t a player.

Taking one last look at the pitch, you snuck off to the tunnel. You made an effort to not look back once more to see if your leaving was noticed. The prickle you felt on the back of your neck let you know that at least one person was watching you.

There was something so serene about the club when the hallways weren’t swimming with people. The history on the walls were so fascinating, and being able to have the chance to walk around and actually soak it in made you giddy. Meeting people and interviews were all well and good, but this was your favourite part of your job. The research, the learning, the things you got to see that the layperson did not. You looked at every picture of previous teams, looking for familiar faces and feeling excited when you actually found them. 

When you got to the current team’s picture, you felt a surge of pride as you took a photo of it. This team had become so important to you in the last week, and you found yourself wondering if you would feel the same in a week, a month, even a year. Would they say hello if they saw you at an event? Would they reply to your comment amongst a sea of fan replies on Instagram? Would they even care to remember you once you're gone?

As per usual these days, your thoughts floated back to Jamie, the same questions still standing. You knew these feelings went far beyond friendship at this point. Would it even matter, in the end, after you went back to your normal job? You’re just you, and he is Jamie Tartt, footballer legend extraordinaire, the best of his generation. He had pieces done about him all the time by interviewers from around the world. Fans adored him, and would cry, yell and faint on the street over him. He met women and men who were, let’s face it, richer, more beautiful and more interesting than you ever could’ve dreamed of. 

You were just a silly little journalist who caught a silly little crush on the mad famous footballer. The one who, incidentally, you had hated just a few months prior. What a world.

“Are you alright?”

You shrieked, whirling around to find Rebecca Welton standing there looking like an absolute bombshell while also looking positively fearful.

“I’m so sorry,” She said as you slapped a hand over your chest. “I just saw you standing there-”

“No no, it’s alright,” You said, finally catching your breath. The skin on your cheeks felt like it was melting off from how hot they were. “I just got lost in thought, is all. I’m okay. How are you, Rebecca?” She looked surprised, even hesitant, by your question. 

“I’m well, thank you.”

The two of you just stood there for a long moment, looking around awkwardly. You put your phone in your pocket before folding your hands together in front of you. This was the first time you had seen or spoken to her since the first day. While you weren’t going out of your way to avoid her, it did make you feel better to not see her. The first impression you had gotten was that she didn’t really want you around, so you felt you were helping her out by keeping yourself scarce.

“The team seems to have warmed up to you,” She said, a little quickly. “Keeley says that Jamie and you have become… quite close?” You nodded.

“Shocking, I know,” You said with a laugh. “It was a surprise to everyone.” You wished deeply in that moment that she was easier to read. She was smiling, but she was the type of person where she could smile at you while also planning your murder and allocating the resources and money for it at the same time. 

“I do hope that means that the negative articles about my players stop,” She said, still smiling. In this moment, you wished desperately that you were back on the pitch. Or maybe dead in an alley. Anywhere, really, would be better than this.

“Yes, I’ll find someone else to slander,” You said. Your heart dropped, stunned, when she actually laughed at this. The sound of it sucked the air from your lungs.  

She began to walk away, but stopped, raising a finger before turning back to face you. 

“Are you still going to the Gala?”

You looked back at her again. 

“I am,” You told her. “Wouldn’t miss it!” She nodded, looking around the hallway before back at you.

“Have you decided on an outfit yet?” She asked. “It’s black tie.” You shook your head.

“I have some dresses in my closet. I’ll probably go with one of those.” This time, it was her turn to shake her head.

“Oh. No, no,” She said, waving you off. She looked you up and down, seeming to assess you. You could practically see the wheels turning in her mind. “I’ll send you some ideas. You let me know which one you want, and I’ll have it sent to your apartment by morning.” 

Your eyebrows knitted together, your mouth now agape. 

“Rebecca, I can’t let you do that,” You said, the shock filling your voice. “I appre-” She waved you off again, which made you shut your mouth.

“I won’t hear a word otherwise,” She said before giving you a lovely smile. “Just let me know which one you think suits you best. Preferably by the end of the day.” She turned around and began to make her way down the hall, leaving you dumbfounded.

“Thank you!” You called after her. She didn’t speak, but instead she waved behind her. You continued to watch her. 

“Do you already know where I live or something?”

When the team returned to the changing room, you were already on the bench in front of Jamie’s locker with your legs crossed atop the wood. You had returned to take pictures of the locker room, having gotten what you wanted from the rest of the stadium. Now, you sat on your phone, scrolling through the dresses that Rebecca had sent you. 

“Where’d you disappear off to?” Jamie asked, leaning over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. He let out a low whistle. “What are those for?” 

“The Gala,” You said, trying and failing to hold back your excitement. “Rebecca said she’d get me whatever dress I want. For free!” You huffed. “I can’t decide which one though.” Snatching your phone from your hands, he began to scroll through them himself.

“These are for you?” He asked quietly, looking at you before looking at the dresses. You eyed him nervously, about to ask him to give you his honest opinion when-

“What’s for you?” Sam asked, taking the phone from Jamie, who gave him an angry look. Sam studied the phone, about to open his mouth before Isaac took the phone from him, who then had it immediately stolen by Van Damme. 

“This one is lovely,” Van Damme said as he started to show you which one he was referring to, but then Richard snatched it from him. When he looked through the options, he snorted.

“You are crazy!” He said to Van Damme. “The best one is this one!” Colin yanked the phone, although it was quite a fight this time as Richard had quite the grip on it. 

“This one would really bring out her eyes though,” Colin retorted, showing Richard another one. Dani grabbed the phone and looked, giving you a precious smile.

“You would look lovely in all of these,” He said kindly. You blushed while Bumbercatch looked over Dani’s shoulder.

“You have to pick the best one, bruv,” Isaac grunted. “We already know she’d look lovely in all of them!” You peaked over at Jamie, who was a mix of annoyed and amused. Everyone began debating, voices louder and louder as time went on. You watched the entire thing without the smiling on your face faltering at any point. 

The door to the coaches’ office burst open, and Roy and Coach Beard made their way out. Their presence did not calm a soul in the room.

“OI!” Roy shouted. Everyone froze to look at him. He looked around at everyone, being sure that every single person in the room got an individual glare before saying, “What the hell is going on here?”

Within ten minutes, the dresses had been printed out and taped to the whiteboard, your phone having thankfully been returned. Coach Beard was at the board with a pointer in his hand. Everyone was talking over each other.

“Gentlemen, gentlemen, let’s talk this out like adults,” Beard exclaimed as the voices slowly came to a stop. “Now through door number one is this lovely ankle length dress with a straight cut neckline and spaghetti straps.” He paused for a second, presumably for the drama. “Elegant. One might even say… chic. A beautiful red for a black tie evening. Will definitely stand out.” 

“What if she doesn’t want to stand out?” Jamie called out.

“It’s a Charity Gala, Tartt. Every woman wants to stand out!” Isaac shouted. 

Jamie rolled his eyes, mumbling under his breath about how none of these blokes know you at all. You ignored the flutter in your tummy as you continued to watch the mayhem.

“Door numero dos!” Beard exclaimed, a little louder this time. “A pink mini dress with a frilly skirt, heart neckline and no straps.” You shrugged.

“I don’t know if I have the tits for that one?” You admitted. The room erupted, everyone yelling at you. You shrugged defensively, throwing your hands up. “I’m just saying!” They continued to pop off.

“You have beautiful tits!”

“It’s not the tits, it’s the heart of the girl who wears them!”

“Who made you feel so self conscious about your tits? I’ll fucking end them with my bare hands.”

“Oi!” Jamie stood up, raising his hands and looking at the team. “Stop fuckin’ talkin’ about her tits, yeah?” Everyone mumbled in agreement as Jamie slowly sank back into the seat. “Fuckin’ innappropriate that is. Borderline sexual harassment, in my opinion.”

“And last, but certainly not least,” Coach Beard continued. “We have a long, floor length black dress, slit down the skirt, with a straight neckline and no straps.” 

“It’s too similar to the first one!” Sam pointed out, which the rest of them roared in disagreement.

“You just don’t understand fashion, Sam,” Colin said, ignoring Sam’s look of absolute disgust and shock towards the back of his head.

“But it’s better than the first one,” Richard pointed out. “The skirt slit makes it just-” He lifted his fingers to his mouth, kissing them before opening them again. “Chef’s kiss.”

“It has the elegance of the first one without being… aggressive with the redness,” Isaac remarked. 

They continued to debate passionately. You looked at Jamie, who, for the first time since you had ever known him, remained perfectly silent, just listening.

“What do you think?” You asked him, in a quiet voice so only he could hear you. He looked over in surprise, eyebrows to his hairline.

“Me? You want my opinion?” He asked. You shrugged.

“I’m getting everyone else's, may as well chime in,” You said. You decided not to tell him that as much as you loved the chorus of loud opinions coming from the rest of the room, the one you wanted most was his. He stared at you, searching your eyes, before turning and looking at the dresses. A few moments passed before inhaled deeply and spoke again.

“The black one.” It was so confident of an answer. “Number three.” 

“Why that one?” You asked, turning to look at it again. 

“The first one makes you look like you’re going to your ex husband’s weddin’ and you’re tryin’ to make a point. The second one looks like somethin’ you’d wear to the premiere of a children’s movie.” He looked at you again, his eyes going up and down your body, before turning back to the board. “The black one just feels like you. It’s simple, but still se- still nice.” He nodded in confirmation. The two of you met eyes again and he swallowed. “The black one is perfect.”

Not waiting another second, you stood up.

“I’ve made my decision.”

They all looked at you expectantly. You paused for dramatic affect, and the longer you waited, the more impatient they all got. It was a little exhilarating. 

“Number 3,” You declared. “I’m picking the black one.” 

The room erupted once more, a mix of enthusiasm and disappointment. Before it could get too chaotic, Jamie stood.

“It’s her fuckin’ choice, yeah?” He yelled. “Either be happy for her or keep your mouth fuckin’ shut.” Despite the aggression in his words, you could see the twinkle in his eye, and when he met your eye, he winked before smiling at you. 

It wasn’t until you went to sleep that night that the smile on your face faltered, but even in your sleep, there was still a slight whisper of one on your lips.

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ NOTHING LIKE THE MOVIES

["Trust me, Lib," I said, picturing her lips. "In a crowd of million ski masks, I'd still be able to find you."]

| ✮ 3 stars |

ᝰ.ᐟ ⊹ arc review thank you to netgalley + simon and schuster for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [minor spoilers]

ok. i put this review off for a couple days cause i knew this was gonna be harder to write because i love lynn painter books, really. buuttt i was horribly disappointed with this one. i'm the biggest wesliz fan but... like yeah i cant even form coherent thoughts about it. like this was unnecessary there was no point in shattering their relationship to write this.

like it was good to see wes's pov and everything but it felt so... idk yeah. (see im still struggling so bad to find words.)

one thing i would formally like to invite lynn to STOP doing though is shoving every taylor/ pop culture reference on the planet into the book. like holy shit woman. i few is okay BUT NOT THAT MANY COME ON!!!! they were in the middle of a fucking argument and wes is quoting illicit affairs or some bullshit. usually i love finding little references on page but this felt like too much.

i feel like she's whipped out her computer and gone straight to some dog fanpage or just plainly scrolled through edits seeing people saying "this song is so wesliz coded" and shoved those songs into the book. there is an on page reference to in between reference saying its their montage song.

also um this shit: ”little liz can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh. because she’s dead.” and somehow when jack antonoff was randomly brought up??? like some people are good at weaving taylor swift lyrics into books. lynn you are not.

also lynn take this a plea to never use the word "growl" or "growled" in a sentence ever again when describing your male characters. and to never write this sentence “she’s one of the guys you know? she’s just… different,” EVER AGAIN. PLEASE.

WHAT I DID LIKE THO WAS THE TINY TINY CRUMBS OF BAILEYCHARLIE AND NICKEMELIE (even tho nick was only mentioned and i dont think emelie was even there but eh)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

liz - ok so weirdly enough she was the most tolerable and still intolerable at the same time. like she was so different from the liz in bttm the sunshiney, wearing dresses of all different colours and her love of romcoms. she was described as anti-love and was practically a full on different character seriously. if you liked the first book maybe dont have high expectations for nltm. like i do understand she had her heart broken and so obviously that makes sense for some of the change but it had been two years and as liz likes to say SO FUCKING MUCH "she's moved on, she's moved past it, its in the past" well for someone who's moved on you sure like to avoid the past a lot. also idk who tf she was trying to fool with that whole "i don't like wes, im over him." shit like gurl- you were literally kissing 2.5 seconds ago whats with the switching sides. and there was SO much about her leaving "little liz" behind. like what was so wrong with liking flowers and romcoms? and being a hopeless romantic and wearing bright colours?

wes - okay so it was quiet heartbreaking to hear abt wes's side of this book (except for the whole pursuing liz part) and i did feel sorry for him. but like what happened to the sweet, caring wes in the first book. and tell me why i had to read THIS sentence “climb on me like a good girl,” LIKE MY EYES LYNN WTF????? i did not sign up for this wes, like no stop telling me how obsessed you are with liz's lips or how she's a mythological sex goddess- boy sit ur ass down. and don't even get me started on the beginning of the book. WHAT WAS THAT SHIT? why was wes acting like a 7yr old excited for school and talking (so much) abt his love for scootering? SCOOTERING. LYNN PAINTER WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL? SCOOTERING. DO YOU HAVE SOME OBSESSION WITH THEM OR SOMETHING? WHY DID THOSE DUMB THINGS KEEP SHOWING UP?? like tell me why i needed to read this shit: "i fucking loved the scooters ..... wes + scooters = HEA" ..... lynn.

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

im not going to bother to find any of these, see: im too lazy

all in all i still liked some points when both of them were acting normal. which is why its a 3. but i feel like this is leaning towards a hate review but yeah idk i cant actually pin point parts that i remember liking- also the ending??? what was that? it made no sense to me.

[rosedere]

Murder Mountain

(Yandere Azul ashengrotto x Afab reader x Jade leech)

Modern Au

TW: Dark Content, Attempted Murder, Harassment, Non Con/Rape.

Cross Posted on AO3.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 (you are here) END

Want more?- - -> Our spring secret (sequel)

I thought I had a happy life

And the city lights

Didn't bother me

Before I met you

You're always on the go

Don't you love me anymore

Please stay

-

When you arrived to work that next day the usual busy, chattering, environment was missing. No one would look at each other in the elevators nor in the breakroom, some just dilligently typing on their computers or carrying on with their job.

All of a sudden Floyd burst in the cubicle row you were working in informing you to all meet downstairs for a emergency meeting.

Everyone at work was informed via Floyd and Jade in the office courtyard about Azul’s Absence.

Finally someone asked if Azul was still alive.

It was definitely their attempt at damage control, dispelling the rumors the media had spread about Azul being hunted by a bear on the trail or that he had been attacked because of his status as CEO being the few you had seen on TV.

Your ears perked up as you looked at Jade who hesitated before explaining he was in a comatose state and at present, was unsure when he'd awaken, but he was mostly out of any life-threatening harm.

After the slew of questions about the future of the company Jade declared Floyd and him would be temporary acting in Azul’s absence along with rescheduling the retreat indefinitely until Azul came back.

Floyd would be the temporary assistant of finance and assistant director of the company; Jade, however, was to become the acting CEO of Mostro Inc.

You were relieved. Learning you would never see Azul again as long as you got your transfer started before Azul woke up from his coma, you could finally leave. You knew Jade would certainly help transfer knowing he most likely already had certain people he wanted lined up to take up positions in the company. Plus, your lover had already offered you an open position as finance director of Sugar Horned Devil.

Why wouldn't you accept freedom? You would be a higher position than you had in your whole career in Monstro inc.

After the meeting was dismissed, you eagerly went home to submit your notice for transfer as soon as possible, quickly typing the form you got the bright confirmation page. In 3-2 business days, it would take for you to be freed from this corporate hell.

Just a little longer..

As the days went on peacefully, you felt yourself being able to be happy, even engaging more often with your co-workers in the break room and chatting with your desk neighbors at your computers.

You guessed it was because, without Azul's overwhelming influence in the office, people were able to relax.

Especially with Floyd being in charge of the floor, everyone enjoyed his impulsive mood swings and chill demeanor. It felt like you fit in for once, having people ask for your opinions on how to do certain tasks or just to talk as friends.

You were becoming yourself again.

-

It's been 10 days.

You took the week off from work after an on-and-off stomach bug you got one morning a while back, your stomach becoming bloated and a bit, irregular feeling.

Assuming it was bad food the first few times you tried to power through work only for you to have only taken three steps into the lobby before you ran to the restroom to vomit for half of the morning in the lobby restroom.

Nothing was really helping with your stomach so you went to the doctor to get blood work and figure out what was causing your flu-like symptoms after numerous failed flu tests and anti nausea medicine you recieved.

The fear of this being the way you found out you had something dire like Cancer or a Gastrointestinal disease was all you could think as you checked your phone every other hour for any news about it.

Currently, you were lying in bed with the worst cramps and nausea youd had from all the days you had been sick; it was so bad you couldn't even brush your teeth without feeling like you were going to throw up.

Rolling to your side, hoping it would relieve you of vomiting, you heard the familiar ring of your phone, immediately making you perk up out of your stupor.

Your lover had texted you: They had asked you why you declined the position.

“What happened (Name)?”

Frowning, assuming you read it wrong and fighting the urge to spit the rising stomach acid and the overwhelming sense of wanting to vomit that had begun right away during the usual evening hours.

In confusion, you checked if your request was approved.

Previously, when you checked at the beginning of the day it showed pending…

“Declined by manual review??” You whispered to yourself reading the automated letter.

Maybe it was a mistake… you could have gotten lazy and left something crucial out of your application.

Dragging yourself to your computer, ignoring the onslaught of your usual symptoms of overwhelming fatigue. You sent the best short professional email to your higher-ups about your request to transfer.

Sending the email with the small chirp you were about to roll back to your blanket cocoon you were forming ontop your mattress.

Chirp!

Not even 15 minutes later, you received an email saying they had no control over it and instead told you to talk to Jade.

The acting CEO.

-

Jade

Knowing Jade had everything Azul didn't was an indescribable joy. Sure, he was the former Director of Finance in the company, but that didnt come with the ultimate rewards he wanted…

Azul’s company, his friends, his status…

And the biggest treasure…

(Name)

He had to admit the former things were not as important as the latter, but nonetheless, he was waiting for you to look for him.

Just like old times…

Despite the rift in Azul and Jade's current relationship recently, Jade still dearly cared for Azul, just as he did back when he was in high school.

—

It was one Spring luncheon; it was unusual for Azul to invite Jade and pay for his lunch.

He should have known something bad was going to happen as he ordered his lunch that day…

“You might know her, Jade, She's a part of the company." Azul dreamily sighed as he began swirling the fruit infused sweet tea he had ordered with his straw.

Raising a brow Jade only smiled, Azul confiding in him was rare these days.

“Oh? Is she an employee? Or is she a client?” Jade mischievously added, sipping his lemonade.

Watching Azul’s lips twitch into a confident grin he uttered the worst response to the question he could think of.

It being two years ago, but he could still remember his response clear as a bell.

“Oh no, she's actually working in our finance department,” Azul’s face began to blush.

“She transferred from the lower floors a while ago, but she's the one; I just can't get a chance to talk to her,” Azul muttered raising his glass of tea taking a sip.

“I wonder who she might be.” Jade trailed off.

Jade felt the dread in his stomach.

Everyone knew that Jade had fallen for (Name), The office couple, ever since the moment she joined their company.

A small, quiet type, basically lost in the sea of many young professionals at the company, diligently working hard and taking only a few days off.

Jade met (Name) because he had to train them since Azul thought he was too good to talk to (Name) at the time.

Reminiscing to that moment when he helped you take your things to the 86th floor of the Finance department It would be the beginning of a friendship.

But that's all it was; mostly for a little while, Jade didn't know how to progress the relationship since he got promoted to work closer to Azul. Having to follow his tailcoats as he conducted buisness he only would see you maybe once or twice a month.

He couldnt figure out why he wanted to seize any opportunity that would arise to be with you, the one most would look over in favor of anyone else.

“If I tell you Jade you must not tell anyone” Azul looked around under the private dining veranda they were seated at.

“I'd rather not have PR about this— it could ruin the company if everyone knew I was going to pursue a date with someone” Azul’s voice dripping with a haughty tone, setting his glass down before flicking his gaze towards Jade, staring at him with excitement in his hues.

“Her name is (Name)” Azul’s grin never slipping off his face.

Jade only scowled in response, clearing his throat to mask his true emotions.

“Not to come off as rude, but why her?” Jade interjected.

“I mean let’s be honest here, the city’s most eligible bachelor wants to date a regular office worker? Not a super model or a celebrity...”

“She’s a super model to me Jade” Azul sighed, “besides I’d rather have someone Independent and a hard worker like them” he drank some more of his tea for a moment.

“I think she's dating someone anyway, and she’s like a little mouse— it’s hard to even get a hello out of her…” Jade quickly responded, “plus she’s a bit boring once you get to know her” Jade chuckled to himself.

Lies.

She's very much single and has so much personality to her.

“Ah well, I love that in a woman—She does not stir drama, diligently works, and asks question's when she needs help”

“I can just see her by my side,” Azul rambled on.

Jade was in his office, unboxing all of the items from his previous office. The large vast space that was once a reflection of Azul was looming over him as he began to silently place the ugly decor he had decorated his desk with into the same box he used to bring his items upstairs.

Diligently humming he unpacked his replica mushroom statue placing it besides his laptop. Reaching once more into the box however he reached something he had thought was his stapler.

But when he pulled it out of his desk items was when he saw what it truly was.

Smiling down at the crudely made picture frame, the hot glue beads and small candy canes decorating the boarder of the frame. Jade could already picture how adorable you looked assembling the gift you gave him last Christmas; the wobbly Polarbear with a scarf holding a mushroom in the bottom corner on your side of the picture.

Dressed in a long Santa clause themed dress, you had your hand placed on Jade’s much taller shoulder, A nice memory he had on his desk for the longest while he would fondly look at everytime he’s come to work.

And now he could finally place it overlooking his new desk.

With silent admiration he placed it at the center of his desk, hopefully camouflaged enough anyone that walks in wouldnt comment on it.

Especially his brother…

With a sigh he turned to look towards the bright tall windows in front of him.

He hoped today would be the day you would return from your sick leave.

-

Name

After another week off from work, you reached a breaking point.

You felt terribly tired, not as sick as you normally were in the morning, despite being warned to stay at home until your results came in you decided to return to the office.

In your casual clothes since your abdomen was uncomfortable in anything that wasnt stretchy or loose, you approached the door you had been eager to see the whole time of your absence.

Raising your fist to the hard oak doors, you made a small curteous knock against the door.

As you waited for a response, you casually glanced at the title placard on the door.

“Jade Leech, Acting CEO”

I guess he didn't waste any time taking over Azul's office.

Not that it was any of your business anyway.

“Come in,” you heard faintly on the otherside of the door.

Opening the door, you were shellshocked with the new scenery in Azul’s office.

The various glass knickknacks, photos from Azul's high school days, and his coin collection were gone from the tall walls of the office, now replaced with various terrariums filled with mushrooms, different pictures of Jade on top of mountains, and just pictures of mountains were also around the vast walls of Azul's walls.

“Did you redecorate in here, Jade?” You were looking in awe at the change of office space approaching where his desk was, the temptation to sit on it like you use to when Jade had his office downstairs.

“It looks wonderful; it reminds me of your old cubicle,” you laughed to yourself.

You glanced over to see Jade half turned towards the tall windows beside the desk in front of you.

"Well, it might be a while before Azul comes back to work, or even at all,” Jade wryly smiled with his signature hand over his heart gesture as he took his seat in Azul's huge dark leather swivel chair.

It felt unusual to see the normally passive man in a position of power Normally demure and quiet, but when he spoke up, he was actually an intelligent and sometimes silly man. Although, once he became Azul's assistant, you rarely if ever saw him, and when you did, he never talked to you, making you a bit sad at how he made it obvious he had chose Azul over your friendship.

“How so? I heard he might be able to go back to work in a few months," you watched Jade for a reaction.

Jade tight lipped as always eyed you from where you stood.

With a sigh you decided to listen to your intrusive thought to sit on his desk, covering your legs with your dress.

Jade smiled up at you, his sharp, needle-point teeth glinting dangerously at you.

“so why did you request to meet me today, (Name)?”

His hand creeped towards the front of the desk near his laptop, sitting close to where you were currently sitting.

“If I recall correctly, you aren't supposed to be out of bed and yet here you are," Jade spoke, eyeing you with his mismatched gaze.

His fingers tapping at the wood on the desk, anxiously.

Blinking, you remembered why you were here.

"Oh, yeah—sorry," you cleared your throat crossing your legs across the table.

“I submitted a request to transfer a while ago, but it got denied... I'm just curious if this is a mistake or not, '' you informed.

Jade narrowed his eyes, the screech of the chair moving back as the tall man began to stand up from his desk, walking over to, what you thought, him standing in front of your spot perched in front of his desk.

Only, he sat besides you on his desk. His expensive cologne extremely strong in your nostrils as he leaned into your person bubble.

Moving back a little bit only encouraged him to inch closer as he began to rest his hand on your shoulder.

"Well, you see, dear (Name) I can't let that happen." Jade whispered giving your shoulder a light squeeze, his one mismatched eye on you.

Like you were possesed you pushed his hand off of your shoulder, annoyance written all over your face as you felt your chest flutter once more.

"What? Why not?” you almost growled.

Jade only gave a chuckle, suddenly he grabbed you with a strong force watching you struggle as he held onto your bare shoulders with his mismatched eyes, Staring dead into your colored hues.

“Because I finally won, why would I give away the prize I earned, fair and square?” Jade sighed to himself.

He decided to take the opportunity to grab the loose strands of hair that was stubbornly not falling into place with the rest of the hair that was framing your scared face.

You felt yourself flinch away from him, but his grip was almost stronger than Azul’s grip he had on you.

“I dont get it, Jade?” you stuttered trying to hop off of his desk, only for his long leg to pin you into place ontop of the oak desk.

“You see, Azul has been acting as a roadblock for me as well name” Jade lowered his voice a few octaves, “He was catching onto my feelings for the one he also sought after," he clicked his tongue. “So I had to distract him with a rumor about this rival that was talking to the woman he was attracted to,” Jade said, looking deeply at your face.

He then shrugged, “I however didnt anticipate this woman was actually speaking to the Rival I lied about”

Realizing the weight of his words, you got up from your spot and backed away from him towards the skyline window.

“It was you? But why? Azul almost killed me for that incident” you were feeling tears blurring your lash line as you gasped your words out.

So many different emotions; you wanted to scream.

As suddenly as you backed away, Jade came to your side, swiftly holding your face into his chest, his head leaning over yours as he kept you stuck there.

Normally, you wouldn't have minded for Jade to give you a hug, but this wasnt a normal hug, his hands beginning to dip behind your back towards your dress.

“What the hell is wrong with you? I thought you were my friend Jade” You shoved him in a rage you hadnt realized was festering inside you, pushing into his chest with the heel of your Palm as hard as you could.

As you pushed him, Jade grabbed your wrists with a bone-crushing grip, stopping you altogether, your face turning red from the exhaustion and anger.

"Please, (Name) don't make a scene—if anyone you should hate is Azul”

“Regardless of whether I told him or not, he was going to know when he’d see you two kissing each other at the company retreat,” Jade calmy explained.

“You dont know what I had to deal with that asshole” you angrily spat shoving him once more to make a point.

“Just stop talking to me; I don't want to hear this anymore”

Fixing your dress you began to walk around his desk past the gaudy decorations before stopping in front of the door.

“And If you don't approve my transfer request— I'll just leave this company with no pay. I don't care anymore." You screeched back at him.

Unfortunately, Jade followed close behind his hands reaching for your own, his mouth about to open and tell you something before you swatted at him, freeing your hands and dusting your dress almost about to open the door.

Jade didnt follow you, only staring calmly at your disgruntled figure.

Eventually, he closed his eyes, exhaling as he did so, placing his hand over his heart.

“(Name) I wouldn't try that if I were you,” he sternly warned with a cold smile.

You turned to look back at his eerie gaze.

“Why are you going to fire me or something? You and Azul already have tortured me enough,” you scrunched your eyebrows at him before scoffing.

Jade hesitated before he laughed.

You only stood watching him laugh and point at you.

"Well, (Name)”

He once again stood close to you grazing the back of your dress with his hands.

“I never told you to go get Azul Friday morning,” he gingerly whispered with a smile.

Eyes widen at the mention you felt your blood go cold.

“Now why would you quietly go behind me and Floyd's back and reach out to meet the man that’s been actively lusting after you?” Jade annunciated with his open needle like teeth.

“It seems like you wanted to meet him alone at the retreat and when he rejected you that morning you snapped and tried to kill him”

“What are you insinuating?” You shouted with venom over your shoulder.

“Just letting you know, I will find out the truth. And you better hope I don't figure it out soon,” Jade leaned his head down on your shoulder, letting his breath graze your neck.

A kiss was all he had time to plant on your bare neck before you shoved him off without another word: You paused for a brief moment turning to look at the still smiling tall man before abruptly leaving Jade's office.

Harshly you pressed the button to call the elevator impatiently waiting to be let down to the parking lot.

After getting out of the towering office you had grown familiar with, reaching the familiar employee car park, you briskly walked to the familiar baby blue color of your sedan.

Clicking open the door, you harshly threw the door open before slamming it hard against the frame.

Throwing your purse and things a into the passenger seat you threw your head ontop of your steering wheel.

The urge to cry overwhelming as you felt your composure fall.

A shaky exhale before you felt the tears began to fall down your cheeks in rivets.

but right before your pity party began it ended.

The little constant melody coming from your phone that was now thrown under the passenger seat.

Angrily, you shifted over to look under the seat, finally grabbing your phone. Normally when you were in a pitiful mood you’d just decline and forget about it, but the caller was someone you’d been waiting desperately for.

"Oh, thank God, it's the clinic; hopefully it's good news,” you muttered to yourself, grabbing a tissue from your middle console you wiped your face before clicking the green icon.

“Hello, this is (Name)”

“So… What's wrong with me? Is it bad or...”

“Oh yes, (name) we just got your blood results back since as we know we tested you for everything after your flu test came back negative..”

You kind of dreaded the answer, especially with the hesitation from the nurse who was calling you.

Well (name) at least you have a perfect mountain to end it all on if the worst news comes out of this sweet nurse’s mouth…

“Well, first off, congratulations (name)…”

“Congratulations for…” You winced.

“Congratulations on the little troublesome bloom causing all that ruckus in your body” the nurse chuckled.

Cancer…

“Your four weeks along, according to the bloodwork it's causing you to have a storm of hormones right now”

What.

“Since we found out the true reason for your vomiting and nausea, we'd like to see you come in around the 15th of January so you can have your specialist visit and get you prescribed some medicine so you can go to work soon”

"Alright”

“Works for me”

The tears were falling like a waterfall now.

“Thank you have a nice day (Name)”

The line cut off. You dropped your phone under the pedal this time barely registering it.

What.

But..

4 weeks pregnant.

You laughed— a loud maniac Laugh from you belly until it started to melt into a heartbroken wail eventually dying down in a messy sob.

Any people walking by would have probably thought you were insane. Your disheveled dress and running mascara as you wailed into the leather steering wheel.

You thought you'd puke.

What horrible irony was this?

The only person you've ever had sex with…

Was the man laying in a coma in the hospital right now, unknown to the true consequences of that morning four weeks ago.

He might not even make it, and this baby would be the cruel reminder that…

That.

Azul had gotten you pregnant with his child.

You felt like you wanted to die.

What were you going to say? How do you tell anyone about this?

Your lover would leave you.

And…

Worse, what would Azul think?

Would he even want to keep the baby? Or hell even you?

Would you have to marry Azul? He wouldn't want you at all as a wife.

You felt a headache coming on as you started to feel your tears building up again. As you were spiraling from your driver's seat, you heard your phone's delightful ping noise alerting you of its location below.

Azul woke up yesterday.

Your face flushed as hot as ever.

You knew what you had to do.

Or at least what you should do.

But why say anything? You calmly thought to yourself.

It's only been 4 weeks, and you're not even showing… apparently Most of the time, people don't tell anyone until about 5 months, so... at most there was 4 months to go to do the deed.

So Why don't you keep this as your little spring secret?

[traintrainingmontage]

Let There be Light

This is my piece for Sodor Lightshow this year! I decided to focus it on Hannukah, as I am Jewish myself (but please note that I am VERY much anti-IOF/Israeli settlers/the Israeli government) and wanted to lean into the theme of light in dark places. Please enjoy.

Summary: On Christmas Day of 1946, Skarloey is left behind as Rheneas works. However, he soon discovers that a miracle has, perhaps, still found him.

Characters: Skarloey, OC, the Thin Controller, Mr. Ivo Hugh, Rheneas

Rating: T

Word Count: ~2,800 words

(Also on Ao3!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas Day of 1946 saw the snow raining down in fat, heavy flakes, a far cry from the delicate snowfalls often depicted in the films and advertisements. It blanketed the rails in pristine, paper-white coverlets, soft yet deceptive in its pristine purity. Evening had fallen, the bleak blackness of the Sudrian winter all-encompassing, void-like in its reach. Not even the stars were out tonight, it seemed, the clouds too thick and quilt-like for such a delicate glow to pierce through. 

Despite the pervasive dim, however, there was still a certain brightness to be found, all across Sodor. As far as the eye could see, streetlights and lamps lit up the night, pushing back the darkness like a river of light, winding its way through Crovan’s Gate like an ephemeral twin to the Hawin Dooiey as, unimpeded by the winter weather, it continued its rush toward the sea. This picture postcard of a landscape was truly a sight to behold, especially as families dressed in their festive best made their way to church for the evening prayers, braving the snows to embrace the warmth of the soul’s salvation. It was a return to normalcy after many a difficult year, and the entirety of Crovan’s Gate—as well as the Skarloey Valley as a whole—was determined to do so.

For the Skarloey Railway’s No. 1 engine, however, a return to normalcy this was not.

“I’m sorry, Skarloey, but Rheneas will be solely responsible for pulling the Christmas train this year.” 

For a long moment, Skarloey thought that he’d misheard. He stared for several seconds at the Thin Controller, who was dressed in his best suit (an elegant navy blue) and overcoat, trying desperately to stand away from the blowing steam in his best attempt at preserving their color. Perhaps the longer Skarloey looked, the greater the possibility that the shrill creaking noise brought on by his hyperventilating might magically stop.

“Wha—what do you mean, sir?” Skarloey finally replied, trying desperately and failing miserably to keep his voice from warbling.

“I mean what I said, old boy. Ivo’s looked you over, and said that you should only be run in emergencies,” Mr. Peter Sam sighed, sharing a glance with Mr. Ivo Hugh, who was already standing at Rheneas’ footplate. The engineer looked on gravely, sorrow clouding his eyes even as his lips pressed shut in a firm, stern line. “The Christmas train is important, yes, but we can’t risk you damaging yourself in this snow.”

“But… I… Rheneas, please! Tell them that—”

But the protests died in Skarloey’s tubes at the sight of his brother, who was giving him the same sad expression as their engineer. “I’m sorry too, Skarloey, but our Controller is right. You’re already in dire condition; what if something happens to you? And if it did, what would we do about the passengers?”

“...”

Skarloey truly, deeply wished that he could come up with a retort, a rebuttal, or even a reply, but he had nothing. The resulting silence spoke for itself. 

“...Alright. I understand,” Skarloey managed at last, forcing himself to calm. “It’s for the best, really. With all this snow, it would just be an uphill climb, even downhill. Heh. I’ll just… wait here.”

“Thank you, Skarloey,” Mr. Peter Sam smiled gently, delivering a light pat to his bufferbeam. “Now, if you’re ready, Rheneas, we’d best be off. Let’s go!”

“...Right, sir,” the No. 2 engine replied somberly as Mr. Hugh eased off the brake and he began to inch forward, headlamp shining as he pushed his way forward into the storm. “I’ll be back soon, Skarloey! I promise,” Rheneas called, and his brother forced his lips to lift into a wan smile. 

“Please give everyone my best regards!” 

“I will!” With that last shout, Rheneas, bearing the last of the shed’s light with him, was soon out of sight, heading off to gather the coaches. The Thin Controller watched him go, then gave Skarloey one last pat. 

“You’re a good sport. Wait here, and we’ll be back soon. Merry Christmas.” Without another word, he quickly headed off, bustling toward the platform.

In his haste, he didn’t even hear Skarloey’s mechanical refrain.

~~~

Now alone in the shed, Skarloey had nothing to do but wait. More and more lights appeared, illusory stars dancing on the water until the ripples hurried them along. The warm golden lamplight, however, didn’t quite reach the shed, and so, the once-golden engine of the line had only the company of the long shadows carpeting the wooden walls. Outside, the storm had picked up in its intensity, howling in its triumph. Slowly, Skarloey allowed his eyelids to flutter shut, trying to push the tide of unrest at bay and perhaps indulge in a nap. 

Crunch crunch crunch. The sound of footsteps in the snow caused Skarloey’s eyes to snap open, darting all around as he struggled to pinpoint the source of the noise. Who in the world would be visiting now, at this time of night? Especially on Christmas, no less!

For a moment, his mind conjured the image of a burglar, coming to take advantage of the fact that the entire valley and a great majority of the town would be holed up in church. What could he do? He hadn’t the steam to whistle, and without his fire burning and air rushing through his tubes, his voice wouldn’t carry. His brake was securely set, meaning he had no hopes of moving anywhere either. Did he really have no recourse beyond bluffing his way through?

Steeling himself, Skarloey attempted to put on a brave face in the hopes that he might intimidate whoever was coming, but the sudden brightness of a lantern in his face caused him to flinch instead.

“Gah!” he winced, eyes reflexively closing in response, but at the thought of a possible burglary, forced them open once more, and tried to adopt the sort of voice that the Owner used when speaking with insolent Sodor Island Council members. “I don’t know who you are, but you are trespassing—”

“Easy! Easy, Skarloey! It’s me!”

The sharp lamplight finally freed Skarloey of its piercing glint as the visitor (likely no longer a vandal, in Skarloey’s estimation) set the lamp on the floor of the shed. As his vision cleared, the engine was left meeting the eyes of Jakob, one of the cleaners. Jakob was still in his work uniform and overcoat, despite the late hour, and his thick, bushy beard was rather unkempt, proof of a hard day’s work polishing both the engines and the coaches until they gleamed. “Oh, Jakob! I’m so sorry; I thought you were a burglar!”

The cleaner laughed, the sound light as it seemed to carry through the entire shed. “No harm done! I was planning on heading home a while ago, but this storm isn’t one I’d like to travel in.”

“Head home?” Skarloey questioned, eyes wide. “I’m shocked that you’re not at church already!”

“Ah, well,” Jakob chuckled, although this time, his laughter was slightly less bright. “I, uh, don’t actually celebrate Christmas. I was supposed to finish my work and be home by sundown, but given the weather, that wasn’t happening. I’ve already phoned my family, and I figured that while I wait for the storm to die down, I’ll just… wait here with you, if that’s alright.”

“Oh, yes! Of course!” Skarloey blurted out, looking around frantically for a chair or some other equivalent, until his eyes settled on a sturdy crate sitting in a corner of the shed. “Erm, there’s a crate over there that you can use. Please, you’re more than welcome to stay! For however long you’d like.”

The cleaner paused, then gave a quiet, grateful smile. He bent over, picked up his lantern, and hung it up on a hook halfway up one of the support beams, better illuminating the sheds before pulling over the crate to sit beside the old engine. “Well, thank you, Skarloey. Better to have company on a night like tonight than none at all, right?”

If Skarloey could nod, he would have. Instead, he did his best to channel the less-than-physical warmth sparking in his firebox into his smile. “I couldn’t agree more.” 

After a moment of comfortable silence, though, curiosity got the better of him. 

“So, Jakob, I will apologize in advance if this ends up being an awkward subject, but…” Skarloey took a quick breath, trying to think of how to word his thoughts. Beside him, the 40-something looked on, a slight tilt to his head as his eyes widened, waiting for the engine to continue. “If you don’t celebrate Christmas, then… do you celebrate anything at all? I mean, the Owner always talks about how the whole valley’s ‘Methodist,’ which I think is the same as ‘Christian,’ and I’ve also been told that ‘all good Christians go to church on Christmas.’ But you’re not going to church, so… I mean…” 

Skarloey decided that he really should have stopped talking a thought or two ago, so he let the words die off there. Jakob, however, didn’t look particularly offended, although he wasn’t quite in good humor, either; rather, his expression was one akin to thinking through how to explain something that people generally considered to be common knowledge. It was a face that Skarloey in particular was quite familiar with.

“Well, erm… I’m not a Methodist, or a Christian, for that matter. I’m Jewish, so my family and I celebrate Hannukah. Are you familiar with that at all?”

“Jewish… Jewish…” Skarloey chewed on the word a moment, trying to place it. He’d heard it recently, he was sure, but where? Suddenly, it dawned on him, and his eyes widened in grim horror as he stared at the cleaner, who was meeting his gaze with a guarded, yet resigned expression. “Oh, Jakob! The war! You… oh… I’m… so, so sorry. I—” 

“Hush! None of that now,” Jakob retorted sternly, cutting Skarloey off before he could say another word. The silence that followed was no longer companionable, but fragile, glassy. The lamplight loomed, the shadows lengthening.

Still, Jakob forced himself on. “It’s true that I lost family during the war. My parents came here when I was very young, and we left much of our family behind. But I still live. My daughters still live. We are here. And on this night, we are celebrating that fact the way my ancestors did during their war, by rebuilding and living and proving that life, and light, continue, even in the darkest of places.”

Skarloey wasn’t familiar with which historic war Jakob was speaking of, but he could hear the emotion thick in his voice, tears clogging his throat. The engine couldn’t possibly begin to relate to Jakob’s particular situation, but the desire to live, to celebrate living, all while mourning those who had passed—appreciating that he was still here, and still had family, amidst tragedy—that much he could empathize with. It made his own loneliness feel somewhat less overwhelming. “...I’m glad you’re here, Jakob,” the old engine murmured softly, and the cleaner, his shoulders shaking, gave Skarloey a wide smile as the lamplight glinted off the rivulets running down his cheeks. 

“Me too, Skarloey,” Jakob managed, reaching out a hand to pat Skarloey’s bufferbeam while wiping his face with the other. “Working on this railway is one of the best things to have ever happened to me.”

Once again, a breath of silence fell, not quite as easy as the first or fragile as the second, and Skarloey took the opportunity to change the subject, perhaps toward something a little happier. “Jakob, you mentioned that you celebrate something called Hannukah earlier. I don’t know much about it, but why don’t we… I don’t know, do something? To celebrate?” The engine’s eyes lifted to where the storm was still roaring away outside, seemingly unlikely to lift anytime soon.

With his tears finally stalling, the cleaner blinked the last of them away, his brow furrowing in thought. “That’s not a bad idea, but I’m not sure how.” Suddenly, Jakob gave a quick gasp and leapt to his feet, looking eagerly at Skarloey. “How about this? Let’s light some lights, hmmm?”

“Lights?” Skarloey echoed, a questioning lilt to his voice. “Whatever for?”

“Hannukah is also called the Festival of Lights,” Jakob answered, walking away from the crate and starting to search the shelves. “We’ll need nine of them for this, as tonight is, in fact, the last night of Hannukah!”

“Oh!” Skarloey exclaimed, his interest piqued as he watched Jakob bustle around.

With a triumphant grin, the cleaner finally found what he was looking for. The shed was well-stocked, and as part of its provisions, spare lanterns and a box of candles all stood ready, as if waiting for this very moment. “A-ha! Here they are! Although…” Jakob’s lips pinched together in frustration as he counted up the lanterns. “There’s only six of them here! And worse, we don’t even have a table to put these on!”

The cleaner’s disappointment was clear, and Skarloey felt a pang of anxiousness shoot through him. No! They were so close! The engine cast his gaze down, trying to think, when suddenly, the obvious solution presented itself. 

“Jakob!” Skarloey cried. “We can arrange them on my bufferbeam!”

Jakob’s head whipped around to stare askance at the engine, who was staring back at him with fiery determination. “Look! We can attach my headlamps alongside the ones you’ve found. That makes eight. And there’s also the one you brought in! That’s nine!” 

At the realization, Jakob’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “That’s brilliant! But… what if they topple over?”

“I couldn’t move a meter, even if I wanted to!” Skarloey replied, his voice brighter than it had been all day, his tongue almost tripping over his words in his excitement. “A-and, there’s no wind here! So long as you’re mindful of your elbows, I think we’ll be quite alright!”

Once again, Jakob’s lips lifted up into a blinding smile. “Well thought! Give me just a moment!” Quickly, the lamps were arranged on Skarloey’s bufferbeam, spaced as well as they could so that they’d all fit. Once that was done, Jakob took the lantern he’d initially brought off of its hook, bringing it over to the others as Skarloey watched on, absolutely entranced and, fortunately, quite unable to shiver with the anticipation he so keenly felt.

“I’ve never had the honor of seeing such a large menorah before. That’s what we call the candle holder that we use for Hannukah. But then again, I’ve never done anything like this before, so this is quite the honor either way!” A slight tremor had made its way into Jakob’s voice, nervousness warring with eagerness, but he forced himself to breathe. This too could not be rushed.

With all the solemnity of performing a rite, Jakob opened his lantern and pulled out the candle within. “This is our shammash,” the cleaner explained reverently. “It’s known as the attendant, and I’ll be using this to light the others, from the lantern representing the first day to the one representing the last.” His explanation concluded, Jakob then began to light the lanterns, from right to left. With each one lit, another flame sparking to life, the darkness fled a little farther until the entire shed was awash in light, brilliant and beautiful, just short of blinding.

Once he’d finished, Jakob returned the initial candle to its lantern, and set it in the middle of the beam, right in front of Skarloey’s face. Slowly, Jakob brought his hands to his own face, covering his eyes, and Skarloey closed his as well. 

“Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner Hanukkah.”

Skarloey didn’t know what the words meant, but he could hear the reverence, the gratitude, the sheer joy in Jakob’s voice. Skarloey knew that joy; it was the same joy that he could hear on church days when the parishioners sang loud enough that, as the pastor claimed, their very voices could reach Heaven. “My goodness,” Skarloey breathed. “What was that?”

“It’s a prayer of thanks,” Jakob replied simply. “A prayer of thanks for the miracle that is these lights.”

“Thanks for a miracle…” Skarloey mused, thinking that it was fitting indeed, given the events of tonight. “Is ‘amen’ used by Jewish people as well?”

“It is.” 

“Then… amen,” Skarloey replied, his voice delicate and reverent. Jakob simply smiled in response, both engine’s and cleaner’s expressions bright. 

The shadows would be back soon enough, of course; but by this small miracle, at least for tonight, their hearts were light, another flame on the river.

[i-didnt-hate-it]

I didn't hate Civil War, but I wouldn't say I absolutely loved it, either. It is an amazing movie, but it was very hard to watch.

I would say it is best to watch Civil War knowing as little as possible, so please be warned for any potential spoilers below.

It is incredibly well written, directed, shot, and acted. I really appreciate the story, it gripped me from the beginning, with the unique sound design during the A24 title card.

But I also nearly got a panic attack in the first 5 minutes. This movie is definitely not for those with PTSD, especially combat and/or gun-related trauma. If any of those apply to you and you still want to see it, I wouldn't recommend IMAX. You will feel every shot fired. Otherwise, the biggest screen with the loudest speakers is the best way to watch Civil War.

The cast was fantastic. Kirsten Dunst and Wagner Moura felt so real, and Stephen McKinley Henderson just seems like an expansion of his Dune character, in the best way. I'll be honest, and again this is kind of a spoiler, but I was expecting more Jesse Plemons. He was great, the scene was fantasticly blood-pumping, but I just thought he might have a larger role. My real standout performance, though, is from Cailee Spaeny as Jessie. Last seeing her in Pacific Rim: Uprising helped to reinforce the idea that she's still "just a kid", but her performance as the story progresses really exemplifies the horror of war that turns bright-eyed kids into weary adults in an instant.

As much as people will try to figure out the politics of Civil War or just make up their own, this movie isn't about politics. There is a scene that really drives the message home, if you're paying attention (LAST SPOILER WARNING).

The scene at the winter wonderland is just a microcosm of the movie and the war. You have two sides shooting at each other, and all that matters to the other is that they shoot first. It doesn't matter who started or who is from where or who believes in what. That might've mattered at the beginning, but now all that matters is being the last one standing.

It doesn't matter who started the war or why, all that matters to either side is victory.

I am a pacifist, but I appreciate war films, because most of them are anti-war. Civil War was hard to watch, but I'm very glad I did.