#playing with the fourth wall my beloved

[inamindfarfaraway]

I saw Hadestown recently and... the metanarrative aspects didn't need to go that hard. The entire cyclical structure with the story being acknowledged as an "old tale from way back when" that they tell again and again despite knowing the tragic ending, which is explored as precious proof of the enduring ability to hope? Orpheus and Eurydice falling in love so fast because they feel that they already know each other, they always have, and we know they're right? Hermes fluidly switching between character who emotionally invests in the doomed lovers and omniscient narrator who knows they're doomed, and the revelation in "Road to Hell (Reprise)" that he's genuinely been both from the beginning? The final song, a requiem for the living by the dead, with the cast out of character after the curtain call? When Orpheus toasts to "the world we dream about" but then also "the one we live in now" and everyone on stage looks straight at the audience for a moment of absolutely chilling silence? I was not prepared and I'm not okay.

[animebw]

Seasonal Reflection: Summer 2024 Anime

In my experience, summer tends to be the weakest season for anime basically every year. Not entirely sure why: maybe everyone saves the biggest shows for spring and fall, so the space between gets stuck with the also-rans? Whatever the case, as long as I've been covering anime, summer has reliably been the season with the most disappointments and the least true gems. Except for this year. My god, except for this year. In defiance of the trend, summer 2024 has been absolutely stuffed with exciting anime, so many shows that delighted me in unexpected ways. I'm truly stunned by how many shows I watched that felt like nothing else I've seen before. Anime isn't just coasting through this summer on good enough; it's experimenting, pushing the boundaries, evolving the capabilities of visual storytelling in this medium. Maybe it's not an all-timer season, but it feels fresh in a way I haven't felt in quite some time. And even though the two best shows haven't quite finished yet (Monogatari Off/Monster and the back half of My Hero Academia's seventh season), there's more than enough for me to recommend you a full course of worthwhile anime. So let's buckle down and sort through the shows I watched this season to figure out which ones are worth your time and which ones should be discarded without a second thought.

(And if you see one show conspicuously missing from this list, don't worry- it's just around the corner...)

My Deer Friend Nokotan: Dropped at 7 Episodes

Normally I save discussion of the shows I dropped for brief snippets at the end of my seasonal wrap-ups. But this time, I got far enough into a couple shows before realizing they sucked that I figured I should let you know upfront so you don't get suckered into wasting your time like I did. Because I care about you. So if you were as excited by the batshit crazy meme marketing surrounding My Deer Friend Nokotan as I was, then you should know the actual show completely fails to live up to that bonkers energy. Oh, it certainly tries, but in execution, all the "lol so random" comedy and forced fourth-wall breaks makes it come off like a tryhard reddit troll so irony-poisoned they've forgotten what makes actual people laugh. And that's before it drops a godawful siscon imouto in the second episode, and all the jokes centered around humiliating the protagonist for being a virgin... god, I stuck with this piece of crap way longer than it deserved. If you want an actual hilarious slapstick comedy with batshit off-the-walls energy, just go track down Nichijou and experience the single funniest television show this side of Gintama. You'll have a much better time.

Sengoku Youko: Thousandfold Chaos Arc: Dropped at 7 Episodes

Man, Satoshi Mizukami is turning out to be the most overrated cult artist out there, huh? Sure, I liked Planet With a lot, but between this and the faults in Biscuit Hammer that you couldn't blame on the shitty production, all the beloved works his fans rave about like they're Shakespeare-level literature have completely dropped the ball. And I was excited for Sengoku Youko! The first season was pretty good! And the second season has a really interesting timeskip that reorients the story around a new protagonist and shakes up the kinds of ideas it can play with! But all that's let down thanks to one of the worst written female co-protagonists I've seen in a long time. God, Tsukiko is the worst. She's introduced as the strongest swordsman in her village, but all she does on screen is lose, get captured, act subservient to all the men around her, get captured again, and fall instantly in love with the guy who bisects her father in half. But don't worry, just wait until she's all grown up! Then we can add in gross sexual assault comedy complete with boob jiggles! Wow, what a mature and life-changing treatise on the human condition! Yeah, eat me. This is sexist garbage plain and simple, and there's too much good anime to waste time on the ones that can't clear the astronomically low bar of not being degrading to women.

ATRI: My Dear Moments: 3.5/10

There is so much I wish I could like about Atri. Its vision of a post-climate disaster world rebuilding from rising sea levels feels like the Studio Key/Ghibli crossover I've been dreaming of for ages. And it pulls at so many interesting threads; the meaning of community, the purpose of progress, disability, transhumanism, all wrapped up in a suitably sappy emotional package. And none of that matters. Because it's all secondary to the true purpose of this anime: justifying a romance between a near-adult and a robot girl who doesn't read any older than ten, complete with writing than infantilizes and sexualizes her at the same time. Because god forbid any of this high-concept melodrama be allowed to stand without making you feel like you should be put on a watchlist for engaging with it. Luckily, most of those worldbuilding philosophical ideas also pretty much fall apart by the end, so at least you don't have to feel conflicted about skipping this one wholesale. Christ, I miss Jun Maeda more every day.

Suicide Squad Isekai: 4/10

So this feels like it should've ended up either way better or way worse than it did. I mean, an unholy amalgamation of anime's absolute worst subgenre with the laughingstock of mainstream Western comics, written by the author of Re:Zero of all people? This should've either been a trainwreck of apocalyptic proportions or somehow wrapped back around to being an genuine lightning-in-a-bottle masterpiece. Or both! But instead, it's just sort of... there. It exists. It's DC supervillains transported to an isekai world to fight other DC supervillains and fuck around with fantasy nonsense, and I can barely think of anything else to talk about. I guess the isekai world itself is a lot more creative than the usual Dragon Quest knockoff? Character banter's alright? But it feels like all the effort here went into a very select assortment of things that the creators actually cared about- Harley's character design, a handful of genuinely awesome fight scenes- and everything else was just left flailing by the wayside with the laziest and least interesting execution, on a story and production level alike. You're better off just looking up clips of the best fight scenes on Youtube or wherever and giving the rest a pass.

Sakuna of Rice and Ruin: 4.5/10

This is one of those frustrating shows that doesn't really do anything wrong, but never manages to amount to more than that. It's a solid little tale about an immature young harvest goddess banished to an island somewhere in Heaven to learn maturity by growing rice, coming to terms with her grief for her lost parents and coming to respect the mortals who worship her along the way. And every stop of that character journey makes sense, with the progression from brash, arrogant hothead to mature, kind protector never feeling rushed or shortchanged. But ultimately, I think Sakuna just skews to young to be of interest. It's too basic in its moralizing and messages, as well-handled as they are, always taking the simplest and most obvious story route to get where it's going as if it assumes this is your first time watching anime and it doesn't have to try to be more complex than that. Well, there's that one weird episode where aliens randomly show up for a minute and are never addressed again, but that's not the good kind of complexity. I guess if you've got young kids, this is a perfectly fine show to put on for them; they might even get a lot out of it! But if you're over the age of, like, seven, you can get everything it offers better elsewhere.

Bye Bye Earth: 5/10

I've been staring at the screen for minutes trying to figure out how to properly describe Bye Bye Earth. But no matter what, nothing I come up with feels adequate to capture just how much of an incomprehensible fever dream this show is. The best way I can think to describe it is "Show Don't Tell" taken to its absolute extreme, a fantasy world where almost nothing is explained in clear terms and none of your preconceptions can be taken for granted. Swords that grow from roots, a city split into good and evil, battles that play out like giant orchestral processions, gender-shifting mermaids, elder gods that forbid travel between countries, girls hatching from eggs, an army of spiritual emptiness, plants that are more like animals than vegetation, so many insane and unique concepts that are treated as if they're commonplace facts any layperson would know. It feels like a show beamed in from an alternate dimension where the world's basic logic just does not function in the same way ours does, as if all these wild worldbuilding ideas are as familiar and universal as the sun in the sky and the moon at night. Does that make it a good show? A bad show? I honestly don't think it matters. All I know is that as utterly inscrutable as Bye Bye Earth is, I was glued to the screen every week wondering what demented sights it would show me next. At least until the penultimate episode had an astonishingly horrible rape scene that ended the whole affair with a black, bitter taste in my mouth.

Spice and Wolf (2nd Cours): 5/10

Good news, everyone: new Spice and Wolf is finally out of the material already covered by the first show and onto the new stuff! It only took nineteen goddamn episodes, but there's finally a reason for this new adaptation to exist beyond poorly regurgitating the timeless stories already covered back in 2008! Was it worth it? Honestly, jury's still out. The one new arc we get at the end of this season is a solid Spice and Wolf entry with all the slow-simmering romantic tension and well-realized economic conflict that makes this story so enduring. But considering how much time we wasted getting here, I still can't shake the feeling that this whole endeavor has been the most pointless remake in the history of anime. It would've been a much better idea to pick up were the original show left off and jump right into the new material rather than waste a whole season repeating what's already been done. So who knows, maybe I'll feel different once season 2 rolls around and we actually get all that new, previously unadapted story this remake supposedly exists to cover. I hope it's good! But I'll probably still recommend skipping all but the last six episodes of this season, cause even at its best, it just doesn't hold a candle to the original's sense of lived-in atmosphere and subtle majesty. Just go watch the original, it's still a classic and deserves to be celebrated on its own terms.

Dead Dead Demons Dededededestruction: 6/10

Okay, look: is this a good show? Absolutely. Should you watch it? No, you should not. Why? Because after the penultimate episode, I cracked and read the manga, and it's just better in every conceivable way. Better artwork, better pacing, more detail that provides critical thematic and emotional context for most of the big political machinations, and a sheer mastery of the form that this mostly straightforward adaptation just can't measure up to. Whatever criticisms I have of Inio Asano as a writer, there's just no one else who can use the medium of manga in such heartbreaking, evocative ways. Even the moments I liked most from this show become so much more spectacular under his guiding pen. But most importantly? For some unfathomable reason, this adaptation takes one of the manga's penultimate arcs- a huge, paradigm-shifting flashback that completely recontextualizes the entire story in explosive and jaw-dropping ways- and shoves it close to the very beginning. It's one of the single most baffling choices I've ever seen in adaptation, completely robbing the arc of its context and ruining the impact it was originally intended to have. For that reason alone, I can't possibly recommend watching Dededede over reading the manga. And at least that way, you can totally skip the disappointing final volume that feels like a half-baked sequel pitch cut short halfway through development!

Mayonaka Punch: 6.5/10

Do you guys remember Ya Boi Kongming? That show from a few years back that somehow took the premise of "3rd century Chinese war strategist becomes a modern pop idol's manager" and turned it into a genuinely wonderful time? Well, the same writer and director have reunited for the first original work- and it's about cringefail lesbian vampire Youtubers. If I have not already sold you on Mayonaka Punch from that description alone, I'm afraid you're a lost cause. This is the most delightfully chaotic show of the season, buoyed by an endlessly dynamic cast of losers, misfits and morons who put the "suck" in "bloodsucker" in all the best ways. But even moreso than the constantly creative ways it finds to mash vampires and Youtube together, what's most impressive about Mayonaka Punch is how damn well it understands the influencer age. More than any other anime I've watched, it really gets the intricacies of the content grind, parasocial relationships, toxic comments, cancel mobs, and the thousands of contradictions that underline the simple desire to create something awesome and share it with millions worldwide. Because this team is simply that damn good at exploring the full, genuine ramifications of even the most insane premise imaginable. Sadly, its emotional moments aren't nearly as strong as Kongming's (save for one truly tearjerking episode in the first half), and the ending feels like a half-conclusion trying to keep things open for a sequel. So here's hoping we get a season 2 at some point that tightens up the screenwriting and lets this show blossom into its full potential.

Twilight Out of Focus: 6.5/10

There are two things anime desperately needs more of: good BL romance, and couples that actually explore sex in their relationships. Luckily, Twilight Out of Focus is here to give us both at the same time, three times over. This is a sweet, sensual anthology series about three gay couples that develop in the same high school film club over the course of a couple years, each one refreshingly different in personality and what aspects of film-making the story explores with them. I do wish it dived a little deeper into the more technical aspects of the craft at times, but that's not really where its focus lies (heh). It's more about how the various characters interact with film-making than the art itself, and what those interactions say about them as people and parts of a couple. And with evocative direction, charming voice acting, and a clever script that packs a lot of development into twelve episodes without feeling overstuffed, it's more than effective in its goals. Just be aware the first arc tackles some heavy topics like abuse and pedophilia, so watch tactically if those are sensitive or triggering subjects for you. They're handled well, to be clear, but just be prepared.

Days With My Stepsister: 6.5/10

I'm of the firm opinion that you can make a good story out of anything. Doesn't matter how tawdry, trashy, lowbrow, juvenile, or inherently distasteful the subject matter; with the right execution, any starting point can be shaped into something wonderful. Or maybe that's just what I'm telling myself to justify how the show about step-siblings falling in love ended up one of the most captivating anime I watched all season. But can you blame me? I don't know what kind of wizardry first-time director Souta Ueno pulled, but it's clear he understood exactly what can make a story like this so compelling, and he delivered that vision with some of the most immersive, mesmerising, and downright poetic cinematic storytelling in TV anime. Cinematography that sinks you into the characters' feelings like a stone plunging into an abyssal pool, symbolism that makes even the most basic lines of dialogue bleed with unspoken nuance, fuck, even the sound mixing feels like it's communicating hidden depths beyond the simple words on the page or development of the plot. It's a tour-de-force powerhouse of directoral talent that left me in awe every week, even as the side characters fall victim to much tropier writing and the inevitability of the oncoming incest romance makes the back half buckle with discomfort. I'd be hard-pressed to call Days With My Stepsister a masterpiece, but it is absolutely an achievement worth celebrating, and I look forward to seeing where Ueno takes his talents next.

Too Many Losing Heroines: 7/10

You know that feeling when you watch a show and it makes you mad not because it's bad, but because it doesn't seen to trust how good it is? That's the feeling I got over and over again watching Too Many Losing Heroines. It's bogged down by the kind of tasteless, degrading fanservice you usually see in bottom-tier light novels, written by authors who know they're crap and try to paper over their mistakes with accidental pervert scenes. It's the kind of desperation that screams of a show shooting for the lowest common denominator because it knows it has nothing of actual substance to offer. Except Too Many Losing Heroines is actually really fucking good and doesn't need these scenes at all? It's blisteringly funny, outrageously silly, often tasteless in actual fun ways, and a genuinely sincere exploration of the many forms romantic rejection can take and how people process it. I'm not kidding, this show almost made me cry at multiple points with how it embraces the power of friendship in the face of adolescent angst. So why do we still have these stupid fucking boob jiggles and accidental gropings that contribute nothing except making it infinitely harder for me to recommend this to normal people? Why does so much anime just not trust itself on its own merits when it has something truly worthwhile to offer?

Shoshimin: How to Become Ordinary: 7/10

Like many anime fans, I have struggled to accept the cruel reality that Hyouka is likely never getting another season. KyoAni almost never returns to a series after leaving it dormant for this long, and with the director's tragic death in the 2019 arson attack, I doubt the surviving staff who knew him would want to take on such a heavy burden (before you ask, Dragon Maid season 2 was already in production before Takemoto passed). So if you've been missing author Honebu Yonezawa's penchant for meta-commentary mysteries as much as I have, then good news, here's another one of his works adapted to animation! Just don't expect it to be as warm and comforting as Hyouko, because whereas that show was all about the joy of seeking the extraordinary within the ordinary, Shoshimin is equally obsessed with the consequences of it. It's the story of two viciously abnormal high school students who know the way they interact with the world is alienating them from it, but just can't stop themselves from enabling each other's thirst to puzzle and out-think and understand. It's like watching two serial killers struggling to assimilate into normal society, except their only weapons are their intellect and their biggest victims are their own ability to feel at home in the so-called "ordinary" world they constantly find excuses to shut the door on. This is, hands down, one of the most fascinating series of 2024, and while its unhurried pace might be a bore for some people, if you've got the patience to let the vibes sink into you, I can't recommend it enough.

The Elusive Samurai: 7/10

There are moments watching The Elusive Samurai when you will swear it's the most beautiful work of animation every produced. Stunning moving backgrounds, jaw-dropping stylistic flourishes that bend the rules of reality, so much fluid detail and shifting perspectives, insane and mind-twisting editing choices... I can't count how many times this show left me staring dumstruck for minutes on end as it piled on moment after moment of the most striking visual artistry I've seen all year. It doesn't manage that level of consistency throughout its run, sadly; there are definitely moments where you feel the shortcuts taken, especially whenever the garish CGI horses are on screen. But there's enough of that brilliance that even if the story was complete garbage, I would still recommend checking this show out for its animation alone. Luckily, the story's pretty good too! It's a bizarre genre-blending historical meta comedy epic that's sort of similar to Gintama in tone, except it's more shooting to sucker-punch you with the most extreme juxtaposition of stupid comedy and gruesome, horrific violence imaginable. It's a tonal whiplash that does not always work, but it manages to weave a shockingly lovable tale of a runaway heir to the throne seeking to rebuild his kingdom not through violence, but through well, elusiveness and choosing the pursuit of life over the glory of death. Add a cast of charming sidekicks and some of the most comically loathsome bad guys in recent memory and you've got a recipe for a very good time. Now please let the cute halberd girl do more stuff in season 2. It's what the people deserve.

Senpai is an Otokonoko: 7.5/10

Love triangles are a trope I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. Most times it pops up in a story, I feel my skin crawling back into my bones trying to escape the cringe. So how do you get a love triangle I don't just love, but actively root for all three possible outcomes? Well, placing it at the heart of a queer coming-of-age story with a trio of kids grappling with self-loathing and the desire for acceptance certainly helps. Doubly so when that story is executed with as much love, understanding, and joy as Senpai is an Otokonoko. What seems like a fraught premise at first- a girl confesses to her female classmate before finding out she's actually a cross-dressing boy- quickly evolves into a genuine exploration of Japan's queer identity, from the stigma of being seen as gay to the struggle to understand one's own gender identity, to even asexuality! And it's always handled with genuine affection for the people at hand, seeking to uplift queer experiences and prove that no one, no matter how "different," is deserving of a place to belong in this great big world. The production values may be modest and a little too reliant on chibi cut-in gags, but out of all summer's offerings, this is the show that spoke to me the most, and I can't wait for the recently announced movie finale to bring Aoi, Makoto and Ryuji's story to a close.

Dropped:

Tower of God Season 2- Dropped at 2 episodes for being a butt-ugly downgrade of the first season with all the same writing problems.

Narenare: Cheer For You- Dropped at 2 episodes for being utterly vapid.

The Magical Girl and Evil Lieutenant Used to be Arch-Enemies- Dropped at 2 episodes for having the dullest submissive doll of a protagonist.

[codename-adler]

hi queen what is the aftg x tlou 🧎 my two obsessions <3

this was the fricking hardest to answer bc it goes so deep and my love for tlou runs even deeper, and it's still in the works and very much not written, but at last! i have summoned enough brain power to give you this!

it all started here because of thanks to my love @cielalune and her beautiful beautiful turn out the lights ♥️♥️♥️

now in no particular order nor sense

the final starting lineup:

Wymack as Joel

Kevin as Sarah

Rhemann as Tommy

Abby as Tess

Neil as Ellie

the goal is a Wymack-centric fic. i want him love him need him so bad, i'm gonna dedicate a fic to him and ruin his life. ain't no other love language baby. all of the fic, except specific episode-chapters like Bill & Frank, or Ellie & Riley, will be from Wymack's pov. no unreliable narrator Neil i'm afraid beloved. i fucking challenged myself and i'm beginning to regret it.

Andreil?

perhaps a smidge, that sweet sweet baby carrot dangling before the mule, but it is in no way an Andreil-centric fic. sorries.

what about other ships and characters?

hehe. i am having FUN. i'm breaking glass ceilings, tearing down walls, pushing through barriers. some unique flavors one might say. don't worry you'll have your fill of lengthy cameos. mouth zipped shut for now tho. unless i'm persuaded...

Exy?

i hardly know her... eh tbh i have no idea yet what kind of world pre-Cordyceps i'm going to play with.

game or show?

both. HBO TLoU + game pt. 1 + pt. 2... ouchies. the fic will not be a series however. it's going to be long af, but one fic only. i know the end.

the itinerary?

canon tlou, to the south. 10 locations for now. same route shape. aftg canon relevant. figure it out.

the soundtrack?

BANGER. OMNIPRESENT. you know it. the HBO show soundtrack is my reason to breathe. they get it. they sooooo get it. - teaser 1: the code is 70s for "nothing new" / 80s for "new message" / 90s for "trouble" because that's when all the youngsters of our beloved aftg cast were born ;) (subject to change tho, but as of now the songs and plotlines involving this code work well) - teaser 2: the main/theme song i'm feeling for the fic is

trying to come up with a title around that, so far no luck. the wip title remains "aftg x tlou", sadly... yikes.

coming to ao3 when?

not soon at all. 3 chapters are outlined so far, and they cover three fourths of episode one. each chapter works as an episode. one episode of the HBO show equals to several chapters/episodes of the fic. i'm combining game 1 & 2 into one biiiiiiiig stretch like i said so. i'm screwed.

[sneak-pieck]

Part 2: Sometimes Life Throws Weird Things Your Way

Pairing : Levi Ackerman x Hange Zoe

Word count : 1136

Part 2 Of "Sometimes Life Turns Out Alright"

The child grew unbelievably fast, and with her, her parent’s love for her and each other. Picture frames filled with memories deeply etched into each of their souls would slowly but surely begin taking over the walls of the home they’d once seen empty, now full. All thanks to their love, all thanks to them and their sweet Olympia. All because of this blessing of a child. Not that they weren’t happy before! Yet…this was a new kind of love and happiness they experienced. Couldn’t be compared.

At about the three year mark, Hange’s sleep would begin to grow deeply troubled. Slowly, at first. So much so that they hadn’t even realized until it had been a bit too late.

The weirdest buzz would randomly fill their head, making them unable to pay attention to the radio that played the same song for the fifth time that morning only. Yet that they’d blame on the tiredness they felt they dealt with. It most often happened in the mornings after all. And then it would be the trembling. Holding their cup of freshly pressed coffee that Levi had prepared for them became an impossible action sometimes. But then again, this too was simply blamed on the same old issue. However they couldn’t shake the worry they felt when one morning they’d managed to pour some of the said coffee on themselves, feeling the burning sensation spreading down their torso and right leg. Worry, yes, for the feeling felt oddly known. Now, Hange was aware they were a clumsy person, yet they’d never managed to burn themselves, not once.

‘’Hange? Hange, oh my god-’’ Levi’s worried voice would pull them out of the shock they had gotten lost in, and Hange would deliver a gentle laugh as they finally stood up from the breakfast table.

‘’S-Sorry, i must have zoned out. I’m alright, my dear. Worry not.’’

The dark haired man had always been quick to worry, and they knew that more than well, so in order to perhaps try to avoid that, an attempt to distract him by the use of jokes was made, like..they’d very often done throughout their life.

‘’The only worry we should probably have is if the coffee is going to stain my shirt. I swear to god, it’s my favorite one!’’

‘’We can soak it in detergent so it will prevent that-’’ he’d muttered as he leant against the kitchen counter, trying to allow himself to relax, trying to allow Hange’s jokes to do as they sometimes did…calm him.

‘’Oh Oh! We can use the thing- the thing in the pink bottle!’’ They’d cheer happily, already on their way away from the kitchen so they could peacefully change their shirt and… assess any damage. That coffee was damn hot.

‘’Vanish?! Good Lord…’’ Levi couldn’t choke back the small chuckle that came as his beloved waddled off, his eyes filled with concern that drowned in a warm sea of love.

And as time went on, the love in the Ackerman man’s eyes would slowly be devoured by the concern and worry his heart hung heavy with as he watched his spouse go through something…fairly unknown to them both.

From small shivers, to trembling so bad they couldn’t hold on to their cup or plate and from small humming present in their head throughout the morning to loud beeping that prevented them from being a functional being for a while,usually leaving the poor person migraine ridden for hours if not days.Yet the couple for sure agrees that one of the most terrifying…symptoms of whatever Hange was dealing with must have been what happened the morning of Olympia’s fourth birthday.

The alarm the person had set for themselves that morning didn’t have the chance to ring, for Hange had woken up nearly two hours before. Four thirty six in the morning, the clock by their side read in big,red letters, as if screaming the time to them. As if trying to pierce itself deep into their irises, for whatever ungodly reason. Hange would take a deep breath as the confusing world around them settled a bit- and with that deep breath also came the overwhelming need to scream. But…why? The reason did not truly matter, for it seemed even if they wished to give in to their instinct, it wasn’t to happen. Their mouth now suddenly agape with drool beginning to pool at the corners of their lips,slowly starting to drip down their face. All Hange could do was breathe heavily, hands gripping into their bedsheets as fear settled deep within their very core, and as drool dripped down from their chin, tears too would soon begin to fill their terrified brown eyes,rolling down their pale cheeks. The person’s body would soon begin to tremble, and that seemed to finally alert and awaken Levi, whom Hange had to convince to at least try and get a full night’s sleep- the day ahead would be very full and tiring, yet oh so worth it for the sweet smile on their daughter’s face.

‘’Hange?Hey- Hey Hange! What’s the matter?! Dear-??’’ The man’s sweet voice didn’t even have the time to sound groggy or tired, but instead drowning in worry and concern as his hands gripped at his spouse's shoulders, hoping a slightly stronger squeeze might help them snap out of it. People often had weird dreams that caused them to react in such…odd manners. Levi was aware of that,yet Hange seemed very much awake and aware,simply frozen by some overwhelming feeling.

And in a way,Levi was right in his judgement. His grip on them allowed Hange to realize this was real,this was indeed happening to them and they had to snap out of it. By God did they try…only managing when their frantic husband began to shake them by their shoulders.

A sudden gasp,followed by a loud cough as the person immediately reached to cover their left eye signalled to Levi that they’d finally been dragged out of their panic- or so he thought. However the moment Hange managed to catch their breath, they’d begin letting out desperate whimpers and sobs, clearly choking back pained screams.

‘’Muh- My eye…Levi,my eye-’’ The agitated person managed to spit out finally,tilting their head in order to be able to glance at their husband. And the poor distressed man would see terror and pain in his beloved’s eye- unspeakable pain and perhaps desperation. He’d been about to ask them about it as his hand trailed up their now sweaty back, rubbing it in an attempt to soothe them. But the moment Levi opened his mouth to speak, it seemed Hange’s body had finally given in to this imaginary pain, causing them to simply collapse forward, passed out.

[retrochannie]

If I break my wings, will I certainly crash?

wooyoung angst, hurt/comfort fic

pairing: no specific pairing genre: angst, hurt/comfort, found family, sickfic wc: 2,185 summary: Jung Wooyoung can't seem to take a break - until his body forces him to

Jung Wooyoung was a lot of things.

A talented performer to fans, a beloved idol to many and an absolute menace to Hongjoong.

He wasn’t, however, all that smart.

Okay maybe that’s too blunt - Wooyoung wasn’t very considerate about his health. He did a decent job most of the time, attending all his doctor appointments and eating a healthy serving of veggies everyday. He just had the tendency to… not know his limit. Or rather, make a repetitive effort to completely neglect his limit in an attempt to go above and beyond. 

It only seems noble when you ignore the consequences.

Exhibit A; the idol in question found himself again in their dance practice room at an ungodly hour of the early morning. With a comeback approaching, Wooyoung felt the familiar pressure of needing his dancing to be absolutely perfect - not only for his self-satisfaction, but to ensure he could be a good help for his members if they had their own tribulations.

That’s how he found himself leaving the dorm in secret while his fellow members rested peacefully, completely none the wiser to his actions. A good thing for Wooyoung, he knew the chastising he’d receive from them if they found out and with that aforementioned comeback on the horizon, he really didn’t want to be the cause of any extra stress.

Besides, it’d be fine! A couple all-nighters on the build up to their comeback and then he’d sleep like the dead. Easy peasy.

He stumbled somewhere in the middle of the dance and cursed. That was the fourth time now and it was starting to piss him off. Walking over to the computer in the room, he started the song from the beginning once again before hurrying over to get into his starting position.

Stumble.

He landed on all fours this time, having been unable to catch his balance. 

Embarrassing.

Wooyoung was starting to think someone was playing a prank on him, perhaps one of his members had found out about his late night practising and decided to tell him off for it without actually saying anything.

Definitely Yeosang. That’s absolutely a Yeosang move.

Wooyoung looked around him for any sign of foul play from his position on the floor, only to come up short. He checked his shoes - also nothing. 

It didn’t make sense, why was he stumbling all about the place if someone wasn’t messing with him? Had he started regressing in his dancing skills? The thought worried him, hastily moving to get up and restart the music again, needing to get it right. 

Maybe he was more tired than he thought, because as soon as he stood a sudden headrush brought him crash landing back down. 

Oh yeah, he could really feel it now. Rolling onto his back, he felt exhaustion seeping from the pores of his body and Wooyoung partially regretted trying to pull not one but two all-nighters back to back.

He looked over at the clock on the wall to the right of him that read 04:43am and sighed. There wasn’t much he could do about it now, even if he walked back to the dorm at that very second and slept the moment he got there, he would maybe get a maximum of one hour sleep time before he’d have to be up again. 

If it isn’t the consequences of my own actions…

Cursing at himself again, he forced himself to stand, much slower this time to prevent him from passing out then and there before getting back to work. 

He’d let himself sleep well tonight, he’ll be fine.

The other members started filing in a few later, some yawning while others had more energy. Namely Yunho and Mingi who followed behind Hongjoong doing a little dance. Hongjoong, on the other hand, looked at Wooyoung with a frown.

“Yah why are you here so early again? You’ll get sick, you know.” Hongjoong made his way over to him after discarding his bag and coat in the same corner of the room Wooyoung’s own stuff had been sitting since around midnight. Any longer and his stuff will have cobwebs on them when goes to pick them, he joked inwardly.

“Awh hyung~ you care so much about me” Wooyoung teasingly pinched the leader’s cheek, only to have it swatted away as Hongjoong grimaced.

“When did you get here though Woo? I didn’t hear you leave.” Seonghwa looked concerned, but Wooyoung threw him a reassuring grin “I haven’t been here that long! Must’ve left just before you woke up.”

He wasn’t that great of a liar, but Seonghwa seemed to accept his answer (though with the look of concern still present on his features) as he went back to stretching. An activity the rest of his group were busying themselves with too. It made him feel a little out of place, so he decided to go over a couple steps he had gotten stuck on earlier to distract himself until the rest were ready.

Ten minutes later and the group stood in their respective starting positions for Crazy Form, Hongjoong stood by the computer quickly pressing play before running to his own position.

It went okay. Kinda. Wooyoung absolutely skipped a beat at one point and threw himself off a little, but he played it off well and carried on smoothly. When the music ended and it was pointed out he wrote it off as joking around, which got a laugh out of most of them and an exasperated chuckle out of others.

He prayed they didn’t see the way his jaw clenched in frustration. The way he wobbled on his feet.

It wasn’t good enough.

They voted to go through it again before moving onto another track and Wooyoung found himself nodding along in agreement. Except, he was really starting to feel at his limit. His eyes felt dry, heavy and so utterly tired. His head was fuzzy and every step he took to get into position was done in some sort of auto-pilot mode - not quite processing what he was doing as he was doing it. 

He was dead on his feet.

The music started again and this time Wooyoung didn’t know who hit the play button.

Now credit where credits due, Wooyoung didn’t drop immediately. He’d argue he made it a solid minute and a bit before his vision fizzled out - not even registering hitting the floor. One minute he was trying to watch his reflection, desperate for his moves to come across as anything but sloppy and the next…

Well the next second he was laying there, staring up at Jongho and Seonghwa’s panicking faces.

Ah, he was gonna be in so much trouble.

“He’s awake! Hyung, are you alive?”

“Yah, he’s obviously alive, Jongho!” That was.. San? Maybe?

Twisting his head back indeed revealed San’s face too, making him realise he was actually laying with his head in the man’s lap. A sweet action really, but Wooyoung couldn’t but notice that San’s legs were probably just as solid as the wood floor beneath them.

“Wooyoungie? Can you hear me?”

Ah how long had he been spacing out for? 

Seonghwa brushed the bangs back that had been stuck to his head with sweat. The older man’s cool hands feeling like a luxury in that moment.

Feeling a little more himself, Wooyoung made a wobbly attempt of sitting up, only to get pushed back down by Jongho. He let out a groan in protest, “come on I’m fine I just fell over.”

“Fell over? Wooyoung we all just witnessed you stop and full on pass out in front of us!” Hongjoong was here now. Where had he gone?

“To call our manager and let him know you’re sick. He’s gonna come and drive you home” Hongjoong squatted down by Seonghwa, worry imprinted on his features, “and yes, you asked that out loud.”

“Wait I’m not sick-” 

“We’re back!” Yunho announced as he and Mingi skidded into the room, both carrying a handful of… protein bars?

“We didn’t know which one to get so we just got a couple of all of them,” Mingi unceremoniously dropped his haul on the floor next to them with Yunho following suit. “He should have some water first though,” Yeosang all but materialised from next to Jongho, practically shoving a water bottle in his face before Seonghwa took it from him and opened the lid, offering the water more gently to Wooyoung.

“Stop stop!” Wooyoung forced himself up this time, ignoring the reluctance of those around him, “I said I’m not sick! And I definitely don’t need to go home, I’ll call the manager right now and tell him myself!” 

He got to his feet through sheer dumb determination alone, but didn’t make it even half a step before he felt himself stumbling again, destined to land flat on his ass had it not been for San who had sprung up with him.

Wooyoung rubbed at his tired eyes in annoyance, hating that had it not been for him putting most his weight on San, he’d fall over again. 

All he did was pull a couple all-nighters! Why was his body acting like it’d been through war and back?!

“Wooyoung-ah if you don’t sit down-”

“I need to get it right, Hongjoong-hyung. Just a couple more tries,” he tried to argue, but didn’t stop San and Seonghwa from lowering back to the floor.

“Wooyoung… how long have you actually been here for?” The annoyingly observant Yeosang asked slowly, brows furrowed.

Wooyoung hung his head, both in shame and exhaustion.

“Got here a little after midnight maybe.”

The silence said everything.

“We finished at eight last night Woo… with the time it would’ve taken to get home, shower and eat.. Did you sleep at all?” Wooyoung really hated how unnaturally shaken Yunho’s voice sounded. 

“A couple nights without sleep is nothing guys, we used to be tired all the time as trainees!” 

Yeah, bad answer apparently.

“A couple nights? Wooyoung you haven’t slept in two days?!” Oh Hongjoong really wasn’t happy with him. Peaking at the older man through his too-long bangs revealed the leader’s eyes being the size of saucers as he looked over Wooyoung.

“It’s not that big a deal-”

“Not that big a deal? We’ve been practising this dance for days now which means you’ve been dancing non-stop without any rest! Do you know how dangerous that could be?” 

“Joong,” Seonghwa planted a hand on the leader’s shoulder, “he knows now, okay? Take a breath.”

Listening to the eldest, Hongjoon took a second to collect himself as the remaining members purposely avoided eye contact to avoid being caught in the crossfire.

“What did you need to get right?” Yeosang asked tentatively, causing the troublemaker to finally raise his head. “The dance, I keep stumbling through it… My moves aren’t sharp enough, I- I don’t know why I can’t just do it.”

“Because you’re tired, Youngie,” Hongjoong’s voice was considerably calmer now, warmer, it made Wooyoung feel a little better. “Of course you won’t get it right if you’re half asleep the whole time.”

“To be fair, you were still doing it pretty good!” Mingi pitched in, “imagine how pristine it’d be if you did it with a full night's sleep.”

Playing with the hem of his t-shirt, Wooyoung felt himself accepting that his members were, likely right - though he still couldn’t help but feel disappointed in himself. Not just for messing up practice, but now for causing everyone to worry over him and for lying to them.

Sneaking out behind their backs? What sort of teenage loser did he think he was?

He was brought out of his thoughts by a hand in his hair, looking up to see Seonghwa smile at him warmly. “Don’t think about work right now okay? Focus on that nice rest you’re gonna get when you get back to the dorms.”

“I’m sorry.”

Hongjoong sighed before chuckling a little, “you worried us, Woo, I’ve never heard Mingi squeal so loud-” “hey!” “-but like Hwa said, just focus on getting better okay? No one’s angry at you.”

“I mean you did sound kind of mad earlier, hyung,” Yeosang reminded jokingly.

“Yah, Yeosang do you want a lecture too?”

The conversation was cut short by their manager entering the room, huffing and puffing, clearly having rushed his way there. Somewhere in his gasps for breath he asked if Wooyoung needed to go to the hospital which was immediately shut down by the man. 

Hospital for a case of the eepys? No way.

The members helped him gather his things which, luckily, did not have any cobwebs on them and San and Jongho helped Wooyoung to his feet once again. It all felt like overkill, a little embarrassing even, but there was no denying the warm feeling blossoming in his chest.

San walked him to the car in the building’s parking lot as the manager handled the bags, giving Wooyoung one last ruffle of his hair before leaving the pair to go back to practice.

Wooyoung was asleep before the car was even in motion.

[llovelyclouds]

notes on cassiopeia the first

here's all my notes on cassiopeia (my beloved) that i thought seemed relevant during my tlt reread!

(you can find the rest of my posts from this project here!)

CASSIOPEIA THE FIRST

titles:

Fourth saint to ascend, (??) gen, founded the sixth

notes from harrow the ninth:

Name origins, from the pronunciation guide at the end of htn: "NOTE: Cassiopeia's most famous namesake is the vain queen of Greek mythology who chained Andromeda to a rock, but this does Cassiopeia the First a disservice, as she was honestly just a universally beloved and clever human being who made beautiful meals with the occasional finger error. The evolutionary pressure of Lyctorhood has, alas, selected for jerks."

Came up with the magma metaphor for the river that John later uses (htn. pg. 94)

The only lyctor to last seven minutes in full physical submersion in the river (htn. pg. 97)

Died trying to lure an RB through the current of the river. It followed her, but the spirits killed her, and the RB emerged unscathed 20 mins later (htn. pg. 97)

Had a ceramics collection (htn. pg. 105)

Was able to perform necromancy her first time in the river (htn. pg. 156)

For some reason, the fact that Harrow was also capable of this was part of what gave John the idea that something was up with her birth… interesting!! What does this say about Cassiopeia?

Specialised in studying the river (htn. pg. 171)

Coined the term "periscoping" in regards to the RB's (htn. pg. 173)

Was great at cooking, but once cut off a finger that fell into the food and didn’t mention it until everyone had eaten it (htn. pg. 231)

was a lightweight lol (htn. pg. 268)

Died fighting the seventh RB, Varun (htn. pg. 333)

Brought the RB into the river alongside its brain (htn. pg. 337)

was the person to tell Mercy that blood wards can be bypassed with the genetic material of a close relative (htn. pg. 474)

notes from nona the ninth:

was originally brought on Johns team by oversight execs to handle contracts as their lawyer, but was "on their side before the first year was over" (ntn. pg. 13)

"C- was panicking because with the project over she was getting recalled to England and didn't want to go, she'd got N- and didn't want to leave her, refused to admit they were dating even though we all knew." - John 5:20 (ntn. pg. 73)

specifically worked in contract law (ntn. pg. 99)

when she found out about the cow wall they had to lock her in the kitchen so she could throw up in private for a while (ntn. pg. 192)

"C- kept saying, Pick one. Are we more invested in proving this new plan is bullshit, or in saving you? I was like, It's both, how can it not be both. C- was like, It can't be both. Pick one and stick to it. Decide what you give a fuck about." (ntn. pg. 280)

"'Does God know why the Sixth House left?' 'I'm assuming some grisly moral reason that you're about to impart,' said Ianthe, 'and I want to warn you against sounding like a tract.' [...] 'Cassiopeia the First left us instructions years ago,' said Camilla. 'We left for a lyctor.'" - Ianthe & Cam (ntn. pg. 335)

"Cassy played long games." - Pyrrha (ntn. pg. 336)

"C- had been saying, Can't we gin up an act of good wizardry? Any way to stabilize the North America glacier? Any way to trap the atmosphere over the Northern Territory, show them we can fix things here?" (ntn. pg. 397)

“C- admitting out of nowhere she’s dating N-. All of us like, What? We've known for a year? Go ahead and get married already, we've got a nun. N- was all, That’s not legal. C- of all people said, Who cares. That’s how bad it was. [...] C- and N- got married right over there, you can’t see it now ‘cause of the rubbish. I made flowers grow for them out of the garden, but they came out… weird. Some of the roses had teeth. C- and N- thought that was hilarious. [...] The dome meant we hadn’t had full sunlight in a while. It was beautiful anyway. I cried the whole service. I couldn't remember the last time I’d eaten food.” (ntn. pg. 400)

“At this point my people were like, John, what the fuck? What the fuck is happening? We were all yelling at each other. First time I’d ever seen C- angry.” (ntn. Pg. 401) 

 “C- said, John, your problem is that you care less about being a saviour than you do about meting out punishment. I said, C-, I was just your best man! C- said, You still are. That doesn’t change the fact that you can be quite the most appallingly vindictive person I have ever met.” (ntn. pg. 401)

“They’d shot C- first… and right in front of my eyes they shot N-. Bubble wrap. I don’t know what happened to them..” (ntn. Pg. 406)

“Cass and Mercy and I worked on cell thanergy- we need thanergy, fresh thanergy, to activate…” - Pyrrha (ntn. pg. 471)

[lindsay00000008]

David playing the harp for King Saul vibes…

…but make it whump.

CW: creepy/intimate whumper, noncon elements, manhandling, power imbalance, dehumanization kind of, m!whumper(s)

Whumpee is renowned for their musical skills — string instruments, wind, reed, even their voice.

Whumper has purchased them, or pays for their livelihood, and they need only to entertain Whumper and Whumper’s cohort. Whumpee knows what tunes please an idle, worldly man; what gaudy poetry to recite above the lyre, to make guests fawn over the delicate luxuries of Whumper’s household.

Whumpee is used to this life, having played for courts and theaters and even on the street — this is different, though. They are kept like a precious instrument themselves, brought out of their chamber only for a special occasion, or for Whumper’s own delight. They often have an audience of one, unless there’s a banquet being thrown, or a meeting of close friends, the halls full of the haze of heavy herbal smoke, the smell of strong wine, and the thunder of raucous laughter.

On quieter nights, Whumper requests soothing music to be played in his chambers. His position, though at times allowing him to be slothful and decadent, can also be stressful. That’s why he sometimes lashes out at Whumpee, smacks them if they take too long of a rest between songs, yells at them to play something else when their voice tires and they seek an easier, more familiar tune.

On these nights Whumpee’s responsibilities seem more vague. They’re responsible for helping Whumper relax, using their skillful hands and mouth, their well-honed dexterity, to assist Whumper in releasing the tension from his body. Whumper lays on his side, head propped in one hand as he sips from his fourth cup of wine — Whumpee knows, as they’re the one doing the pouring.

It’s not enough, tonight. Whumper is restless. He bids Whumpee to come closer. Sit beside the bed with the harp, sing me to sleep. When he can’t sleep, he requests— demands that Whumpee join him on the soft pallet, that Whumpee abandon their instrument to lay beside him, sing softly to him from the silk and fur.

The first heavy-handed touch, shocking in its brazen nature, it’s blatant ownership, makes Whumpee’s voice waver. That earns them a sharp pinch, a bruising grip at the sensitive, soft point of their hip. They keep their breathing steady, throughout it all — throughout the slipping of hands over collarbone and sternum, the press of Whumper’s hand at Whumpee’s ribs, following the motion of their song. Pinches of smooth skin, beneath the hem of Whumper’s tunic, the inside of their thigh. They sing until Whumper is satisfied with his perusal. Until his breathing is slow and steady. They wait a little longer, wait until they can trust their nervous, twitching limbs. They slip out from under Whumper’s arm, almost clumsily, their own breathing disturbed and their throat raw, their lungs aching from being so tense.

They take their beloved instrument in gentle shaking hands and move it to sit by the wall. The satin pillow, the one they use when playing, they take with them, clutching it close to their chest as they return to their own small room down the hall. They close the door and listen as the small latch clicks — no lock installed for their security.

Whumpee knows it’ll only get worse from here… do they pack up and try to run away? Maybe they’re paranoid, and Whumper was just lonely and drunk. Do they put on a happy face for Whumper and his friends, and try to weather the storm?

What happens when Whumper requests more from Whumpee, during a banquet later that month? Dance for us, he says. Whumpee adorns themselves with clinking metals and bells, dancing to the beat of their own steps and humming a song of their homeland. Sing for my guests, wash their feet. Whumpee kneels before them, hands working with water and cloth, wiping the dust and road-weariness from their skin. My guardsman grows weary. Massage his legs, kiss his aching hands. Whumpee sinks down beside the guard at his post near the doorway, using warm oils to pull stale blood up his shapely calves. They move to his thighs, massaging just above the knee, unsure of how to proceed. Their eyes meet, and the guardsman looks away, a menacing huff of his breath making Whumpee flinch and move to his hands. The man’s grip on the pommel of his sword tightens, then he releases the weapon at his side, allowing Whumpee to tentatively massage the rough knuckles and calloused palm. They feel Whumper’s gaze — they kiss each finger, feigning reverence, exaggerating their commitment to doing Whumper’s bidding. Their lips barely touch the guard’s skin. When finished, the guard’s hands flex and move slowly back to his sides, rolling one oiled palm about the leather pommel of his weapon, grasping it much more lightly than before. Whumpee washes their hands of the oil, and return to their instrument for another song.

After a while, Whumper says Quit your grating serenade. You’ve used your voice past it’s limit. You yourself must rest. Whumpee sighs in relief, placing their blistered hands in their lap. They sit and let their eyes relax, staring blearily at the blurred outline of the vibrant rug before them. Until Whumper pats his thigh, waves Whumpee close. In front of Whumper’s loyal men, Whumpee is beckoned to approach.

It feels like a test. The intimacy Whumper requests, is it Whumpee’s place to acquiesce? To sit in Whumper’s embrace, as he chats and drinks and makes merry with friends? Friends who eye Whumpee with the same predatory awareness, waiting for them to bear their neck, to show weakness?

Whumpee decides — with the wild mind of a stalked prey animal — that weakness would be rejecting Whumper’s invitation. Their limbs creak and burn as they rise to join the man. They gather the fabric of their tunic as Whumper’s hands guide them to sit, pulling Whumpee close and sighing into the crook of their neck. Eat, he bids Whumpee. But Whumpee’s stomach is in knots. Drink, he demands. Whumpee chokes on the bitter wine. Kiss me, he whispers, when the others have become rowdy and distracted with lurid stories and jokes. What is Whumpee to do?

Do they reject Whumper’s advance, create a scene with their protests and jerking limbs? Do Whumper’s friends come to his aid then?

Do they instead submit to the pressure of Whumper’s request, garnering whistles and pinches from the men nearby? What happens when Whumper wants Whumpee to embrace the gaiety of the celebration, and share the entertainment with all others present?

[jazlynriddle]

Welcome to your life - Pt 3:

It's My Own Design Ch 1:

Summary:

Ominis fought to control his expression, to keep his hands from trembling. Five years. Five years since he'd seen his parents, and this. This was the reason they'd given him the honour of their time? This was the reason they'd sought him out at Hogwarts?

The bitterness welling up within him was thick enough to gag on.

New year, new allies, new responsibilities, new avenues of revenue, and new aspects of their own Ancient Magic to explore. As the Keeper and their partners enter their last year at Hogwarts, it remains to be seen if the new school year will bring with it new problems or adversaries, but they are confident in the strength of their relationship with Sebastian and Ominis. The three of them would endure, no matter what befell them.

And if they were wrong?

What a joke, they would suffer no alternative.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Whoo! Part Three here we go! This prologuey chapter is a, pretty short but hopefully good, opening into the third major arc, and our kids’ last year at Hogwarts! Part One and Two were mostly character building and establishing dynamics. This part Three, is where I'll begin setting up more plot-heavy things for the intense fourth and final major arc. That last arc is gonna be crazy =D (Also, first smut scene is Chapter 4 and it's rather BDSM flavoured)

I will, however, be changing my upload schedule to once every two weeks, because as much as I love writing this, once a week is starting to chafe, especially since I've been writing longer and longer chapters x’)

I've literally been spending every free moment writing, and I miss actually playing games, I haven't even had time to play Tears of the Kingdom despite having it since it launched- TvT

Plus, my beta and beloved boyfriend has been running himself ragged trying to keep up with my pace and I feel really bad about that, so I wanna give him more breathing room-

So, the next upload will be the same day, same time, every second Sat noon PST, just like, skipping one weekend upload. Basically alternating my upload day, hope you don't mind! ><

Now, without further ado, let the curtains rise on our Third Act!

A soft pop echoed through the Elves’ Quarters, as Tibsy appeared in the doorway, just a few metres away from the small wooden desk that Tynx was seated at, logging the resources spent for the day in his report journal.

“Tibsy, how's Master's guests?” Tynx greeted without turning around as the young elf made her way through the room's lower floor, dwarfed by the two large trays of empty cutlery in her arms.

Her small shoes tapped softly against the brown brick floor of the lower half of the room, shuffling past the ladder that led up to the upper portion where their small beds were placed, with curtains that they could draw around the beds for a semblance of privacy. She carefully weaved her way through the space between two small, comfortable beige armchairs and a quaint wooden tea-table, past two cabinets placed against the wall, also made from wood, as well as Tynx's desk, and into the elves’ small sized kitchen.

She then bypassed the short cast iron wood stove, that was placed against the wall and used for cooking as well as warming, along with a long stone counter in the middle of the room that was used both for preparing ingredients as well as serving as their dining table. Before passing another three wood cabinets, one containing kitchen tools, another for storing seasonings, herbs, and spices, and the third for raw ingredients, as well as several wooden barrels of grains and such.

Finally, she stopped by the sink and set down the two trays in the sink with a sigh.

“Tibsy is seeing Brown-hair still coughing blood.” Tibsy replied after a moment, snapping her fingers, and making the soapy sponge begin scrubbing the dirty dishes. “But he is eating the foods Tibsy is bringing him.”

“That's good, Sir Ominis did say he'd continue coughing for a while because he isn't healing the boy regularly.” Tynx nodded absently, rifling through his desk drawer, and withdrawing a sheet of parchment.

He'd been recording the boy's recovery progress over the last month, for the Master's partner, and he quickly jotted down Tibsy's report as she shuffled over to his desk.

“What is it, Tibsy?” Tynx asked after a moment, seeing her shift nervously as she stood silently beside him. “Did one of them try to hurt you again?”

“...no, Tibsy is-” She wrung her hands anxiously. “Tibsy is... being not sure how to feel.”

Tynx set down his quill and turned to sit sideways in his chair, facing her. “About what?”

“Master's guests... lady guest was hurt a lot, and Tibsy knows Black-hair's fingers was being cut for trying to hurt Tibsy... but..." Tibsy trailed off, pausing for a few moments, before continuing. “Is it really okay for Master to be hurting peoples?”

Tynx sighed, now that he thought about it, he supposed it should have been expected. Tibsy's old master was a kindly old lady, she wasn't used to seeing injured humans.

“Tibsy.” Tynx began, raising his hands. “My old master cut off three of my fingers with his carving knife. One for leaving a crease in his shirt, another because his tea was too hot and the third for giving his daughter food while he was punishing her.”

Tynx lowered his hands to his lap solemnly. “Our master is not a nice person, but they are nice to us, they take care of us, and they defend us. They don't hurt us, and they don't make us hurt others. Anything else Master does is not for us to judge.”

Tibsy stared at the gaps between his remaining fingers with wide eyes for a few moments, before nodding silently.

“If it helps, I think these people are Master's guests because they all hurt Master before.” Tynx added and Tibsy's eyes widened. “I don't know if it will always be like that, but we should just be glad it's not us in there.”

“Our master gave us an actual space in their home to live in, rather than something temporary, like an expansion charmed barrel. They gave us the money and freedom to design and decorate our living space to our size and comfort, even before building their own.” Tynx smiled wryly and Tibsy's eyes skimmed over their warm and comfortable home.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Our life here is good, better than with most masters, try to focus on that.”

“...okay.” Tibsy nodded firmly.

Tynx smiled, relieved that she understood, it would hurt if their Master killed her for doing something stupid like trying to free a guest. Their Master was a good master, but not a nice or kind person and he knew from their eyes that they wouldn't hesitate to execute their servants for disloyalty or betrayal.

“Good.” Tynx glanced at the clock on his desk. “Now, you should probably go feed Master's snakes, we'll need to welcome them back from school in a few hours.”

“Oh, yes! Tibsy will go catch small fishys for snakeys!” Tibsy's expression brightened and Tynx nodded approvingly as she bounced to the side, grabbed a bucket from under the sink and popped away.

The young elf did seem to like the job of caring for their Master's pets. Perhaps he'd take over duties directly involving the Master's guests to make things easier for her. Tynx thought to himself as he returned to writing his report, he would need to finish logging everything before their master returned to Feldcroft in the evening.

At least he could report that the foundations were ready to be built upon as they'd hoped. Anything that kept their Master happy and satisfied with them was good.

“Gotcha!” Tibsy exclaimed, snapping her fingers, and levitating a small flopping fish from the clear lake water.

With a swish of her fingers, the fish floated through the air, and was dropped into her water filled bucket. Or, at least that was supposed to happen, but as the fish flailed and thrashed violently, its tail hit the rim of the bucket and the fish propelled itself to the side, landing on the floor outside the bucket instead.

“Oh no, fishy! You're supposed to go into the bucket!” Tibsy shuffled over quickly, trying to scoop the fish from the floor with her hands.

The fish, however, was having none of that, and struggled relentlessly to flop to freedom. Tibsy pursued the slippery thing for a few minutes, grabbing for it repeatedly, until finally she managed to catch the small fish securely in her hands.

“There!” Tibsy gave an exasperated sigh, eyeing the fish critically. “Why'd fishy have to struggle so much?”

As she heard her own words, Tibsy paused. Of course, because the fishy didn't want to die. She stared at the thrashing fish. After all, she was about to feed it to Master's pets. The weight of her own actions, the weekly chore that she hadn't put much thought into before, was suddenly feeling uncomfortable in her hands.

“But... if fishy doesn’t die, Master's snakeys will die.” Tibsy bit her lip, thinking of the cute two-headed snake that she had been taking care of for the last few months.

The funny way they wiggled around and the greeting hisses they'd give her when she visited them in her free time. Sir Ominis was very nice and helped her talk with them a few times and she thought the twins were really sweet, she couldn't imagine making them starve for a fish she didn't know.

If Tibsy could speak with this fishy, maybe Tibsy might choose the fishy over the snakeys.

But that wasn't the case now, was it?

It was the snakes that she cared about more. And so, she would sacrifice the fish for the snakes, consigning the fish to a painful death.

Tibsy dropped the fish into the bucket solemnly. Such a simple yet heavy action, now that she was thinking about it.

As Tibsy collected the bucket and apparated back to the castle's greenhouses, she wondered if her master faced similar decisions.

She wondered if their guests were fishes.

“Welcome home, Master.”

Tibsy followed Tynx's bow, as the Keeper and their partners entered the Feldcroft cottage.

“Tynx, Tibsy.” The Master's voice was even as always, their expression stoic as ever, and Tibsy found herself scrutinising their face as she and Tynx straightened from their bow. “Your report?”

Tibsy stood silently behind Tynx as he began to give his usual report, watching the Keeper curiously, while their partners began to unpack their luggage. The Keeper's expression didn't change as Tynx spoke, summarising the elves’ progress with the castle and the condition of their guests, before handing the Keeper several pages from his journal, which they tucked away in their pocket.

“The two of you can begin preparations for building the castle. Sebastian and I will join you tomorrow to begin work on it if the weather is favourable.” The Keeper instructed, before surprising Tibsy with a small smile. “Well done, both of you.”

“Thank you, Master.” Tynx replied smoothly, bowing once again and Tibsy hastened to follow.

“T- thank yous, Master!” She squeaked, dropping into a bow as well, the Master's words making her feel warm inside.

She was a little surprised that the Keeper had praised her as well, considering that they normally spent more time instructing and discussing with Tynx, since Tynx was more capable, and did all the planning while she just did her best to follow instructions and not break something again. It did mean that she sometimes felt a little lost though.

“Oh, and Tynx, about the bulbs, how much did we get for those?" The Keeper's attention quickly returned to him.

Tynx checked his notes for a moment before replying. “Just enough to cover the cost of the list of tools you specified. The owner of Slug and Jigger's Apothecary paid a total of..."

“Tibsy.” She blinked as the master's blind partner approached her from the side.

“Yes, Sir Ominis?” Tibsy asked, turning to him at attention.

Ominis gave her a kind smile. “I wanted to ask how the girls are doing.”

“Oh, Sir Ominis’ snakeys are doing good! Tibsy fed them a small fishy before coming to greet masters!” She nodded eagerly. “Snakeys have a little bump of food inside now!”

“Thank you, Tibsy.” Ominis smiled, and Tibsy was surprised when he reached a hand forward and petted her softly on the head. “For taking care of them for us.”

His hand was big, warm, and gentle, and Tibsy felt that warmth inside again. Tynx was right, life was good here, with masters that were nice to her and made her feel happy.

All she had to do was follow instructions.

Notes:

The elves in Hogwarts apparently live in barrels with expansion charms on them, I think it's kinda cool and also kinda oof. House elves are apparently preserved food. I feel like Tynx who was disposable with his last master, would value having a real physical space that says “hey, I don't plan on getting rid of you in a disposable expanded garbage bag”.

I also wanted to touch on how, despite me pushing for the whole “hey, Ominis, if you want to change something and have the power to, but tell yourself that you're helpless so you don’t feel guilty for not taking the risk, that's just being wilfully ignorant. I understand that you were genuinely helpless when younger so it's very very understandable to have this issue but you gotta at least try, now that you're not helpless and alone anymore”, which he has been doing, even in the original game, going after Sebastian in the catacombs, even though he gave up halfway, and I love him for trying even though it was hard.

Despite that stance, I also think that, if a person is (or was) genuinely helpless and powerless to change something, if they can’t escape their circumstances, they shouldn't feel shame or guilt, they should just focus on being as happy as possible, recovering and coping.

I hate victim blaming and often people underestimate the sheer amount of strength required to cling to some semblance of sanity under abuse. Victims of abuse are victims because of that strength. Sick freaks target these strong people because the fuckers know these victims won't break under their fist.

So, in Tibsy's situation, where she physically cannot disobey orders due to binding magic, where she can potentially be killed for disloyalty, I believe that she should not feel bad for what the Keeper is doing.

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 4-- Pirate/4th Wall

Unknown breaks the fourth wall (928 words)

You’re in the middle of reading fic when your phone buzzes. You ignore it, of course, in favor of the words on your laptop screen. 

“I’ll make you walk the plank,” Unknown purrs, using the tip of his sword to carefully tilt your chin up, “If you don’t tell me what I want to know. Don’t test me, prince(ss). It won’t end very well for you, hm?” 

Your phone buzzes again, and, annoyed, you drag your eyes away from your computer to look at your phone. All day at work, you’ve been looking forward to reading about pirate Unknown. Everybody in your circle knows about that— you haven’t been able to shut up about him— so why would they be bothering you? Also, more importantly, you thought you turned on do not disturb, so nobody should even be able to interrupt you. Did that get switched off somehow? In that case, you should probably remedy the issue before it distracts you further from your precious reading time. 

The answer waiting for you on your lockscreen leaves you with far more questions than answers. 

Mystic Messenger: [New Chatroom] Did you miss me? 

This is alarming for several reasons. For one thing, the moon symbol in the top right corner of your phone’s display confirms your assessment that the device is, in fact, set to “do not disturb.” For another, you aren’t currently playingMystic Messenger, so there’s no reason for a chatroom to open. And even if you were playing, this title isn’t one that you recognize. You cast one last wistful look to your computer screen, where the lines of text about your beloved pirate Unknown are fading to black, before cutting your losses and navigating to the mysme app. Maybe this is some sort of marketing gimmick or something. 

Strangely, as soon as the app loads, you’re taken to a log of today’s chats— without being told which route you’re on. It’s already early evening, but according to this display, no other conversations have taken place today. Also, the list of participants in the current chat is empty… What could possibly be going on? The only way to find out is to enter the chatroom, you suppose. 

Your first reaction to the string of messages from Unknown is excitement. After all, you’re always happy to see more content about your favorite character. Then, you actually read the messages, and your racing heart drops into your stomach. 

Unknown: Are you enjoying your reading, prince(ss)?  Unknown: You didn’t log in for a long time…  Unknown: I thought you forgot about me…  Unknown: But now you’re reading stories someone wrote about me Unknown: Where I’d come and take you away.  Unknown: Is that what you’re hoping will happen, cutie? 

This seems oddly specific, but maybe… it’s a seasonal chat or something. Is today some kind of holiday? When you click on the blinking yellow button that would normally allow you to select from a menu of pre-programmed responses, you’re beyond gobsmacked to see a keyboard pop up for you to type out an answer. 

MC: What the fuck?  Unknown: Don’t act so surprised.  Unknown: You were the bold one,  Unknown: Looking up pictures and stories about me Unknown: You said you’d do anything for me, didn’t you? 

Well, there’s only one way that somebody could have found that out, and it reveals something alarming about whoever you’re talking to right now. Whoever it is would have to have a flagrant disregard for your privacy, not to mention the law, and they’d also need a vested interest in contacting you just to taunt you through the most roundabout method imaginable. Could you… actually be talking to Unknown? 

MC: How did you get access to my tumblr? 

The question sounds stupid to you as soon as you press ‘send.’ It might be a shock that this fictional man may be able to contact you, but assuming that he is, it’s no surprise at all that he’s gained entry to your various accounts. Isn’t he supposed to be the best hacker in the world or something?

Unknown: I’m a hacker, prince(ss). Unknown: Which is kind of like a pirate  Unknown: So you don’t have to bother with that fake copy of me that somebody made up Unknown: Now that you’ve got attention from the real one.  MC: I’m sorry  MC: Are you JEALOUS of a fanfic? 

It’s in character, you suppose, but it’s still a bit startling. Either way… you can’t help but feel excited about where this interaction is going to go. 

Unknown: You’re mine, remember?  Unknown: Don’t test me prince(ss).  Unknown: It won’t Unknown: End very well Unknown: For you.  Unknown: … Unknown: Is that what you wanted to hear? 

In a sense, very much so. In another sense, now that you’re in touch with the man of your dreams (and now that you’ve begun to accept the reality of the situation), you have so many things you want to say. 

MC: Are you eating well? 

That’s a good place to start, right? 

Unknown: That’s none of your business.  Unknown: Pushy, aren’t we, cutie? 

Yeah, that figures. Maybe you should focus on talking him out of his revenge plot based on the false information that his cult leader has been feeding him. Then, you can worry about helping him take care of his physical health. 

MC: Can you call me?  MC: I think we have a lot to talk about.  Unknown: What’s the magic word? 

But he’s already calling you before you can begin to say ‘please.’

[attonitos-gloria]

jb for the ship asks?

jaime and brienne are truly a breaking of fourth wall. it is george turning to his audience and going "you DO get what is going on in this world, don't you? tell me you get it." he does that with tyrion in ADWD, too, and i just love it when george goes meta.

i think they are the most romantic thing to ever happen in asoiaf because of the way they are the embodiment of the true problem of love and courtly romance in westeros which is patriarchy and misogyny and the absolutely insane cages of gender these characters are in. it's very hard for me to get jaime and brienne without jaime and cersei as contrast. this is a jaime/brienne/cersei situation.

what if you grew up as a man, believing you were born to reclaim the fate of a true man - knighthood and glory - and it turns out in real life this just means violence and bloodshed. what if you cope with the horrors of feudalism and patriarchy by blending into one single golden unit with your twin sister who is you who are your sister and that goes on forever. what if you fed each other's cruelty, and bred monsters into the world, and death, and it's all perfect and golden because you're each other's reflection.

what if you often thought if you were a woman you'd be your sister because who else could you possibly be - but of course you'd never be a woman hahahaha this is crazy. of course you are not a woman. (but your sister is, and your sister is you. so what does that even mean? you never think about it, you just disappear inside.) what if your sister is trapped in a house of violence you can only bear witness to, but do nothing about, even with the sword in hand and a white cloak around your shoulders, because this is the fate of all women - marriage and motherhood at whatever cost. what if this isn't even the first time you bear witness to a king being violent to a queen in this same castle in this same bedroom. and your sister thinks if she were a man she'd be you but hahahahah this is crazy, obviously, of course your sister is not a man. (but you are a man and you are your sister. and she is being sacrificed in the altar of gender conformity that is monarchy and you are standing by the door because you are a man and you are a knight - you are thinking, what does that even mean? you disappear inside again.)

what if you believe this is really all there is to being a knight, to being a man, to being a person?

and then what if you meet a woman who is, as far as you can understand it, a better man than you: by being a better knight, by simply being a better human being?

pairing of all time. they don't even need to fuck for it to be real. i think there's a undertone of tragedy in them - i can't imagine jaime ending this series as a happily married man to brienne, i don't even know if both of them will survive, but like. i'm not expecting the next books for them to be canon because in my head jaime and brienne are already a canon relationship of true courtly romance.

(Post edit: might be the reason why I usually don't read fluffy fanfiction of them because it often goes the way of... they will get married and have babies and rule casterly rock together! and while I think it's okay to forge happy endings for beloved characters - i'm a sansa/tyrion shipper, i do this all the time lol - i think there is something apocalyptic about this ship. Like they have the power to ruin this system. Spiritually. I mean, i still read braime fic because the writers are just too good but. I like endings when one of them die. Or jaime goes to the Wall! I like this one too. Or at least they escape Westeros together lol anyway. It is also why i'm also EXTREMELY wary of some jaime ships who just play harder into the gender conformity that i think jaime and brienne are, canonically, breaking and ruining.)

so. basically there is no one else for jaime and brienne but jaime and brienne themselves. perfect pairing. i'd say maybe the only canon pairing ever

[inquisimer]

Hello Mer! From the 'Hit 'Em Where it Hurts' prompt list for Isseya and Garahel, "I don't want to go." Happy writing!!

thank you for the prompt! It's not often that my own writing makes me cry, but this piece did it 😭😭 Some introspection for Isseya at Garahel's memorial, before she leaves on her Calling.

for @dadrunkwriting | Isseya & Garahel | wc: 760

-

Isseya’s steps were a muffled echo off the arching walls of the Heroes’ mausoleum. Enough time had passed since the Battle of Ayesleigh that she was alone with the memorial they’d built for her brother. She lifted her eyes to the ornate urn that held his ashes and bit back a sob.

And Isseya, be kind to yourself.

His final words, his final wish. Not for himself, as he dove toward certain, necessary death, but for her. Perhaps he’d known that choosing to die was the easier fate.

Isseya leaned her Blighted body against the marble, forehead pressing into the angular representation of Crookytail that stood guard at Garahel’s feet. He, at least, had been spared the cruel rage and death that she’d inflicted on the others. For it was her fault—her magic, her hubris—no matter what Amadis believed.

“I don’t want to go,” she whispered. It wasn’t quite a lie—though as the sickly sweet voice of the Blight sang in the back of her mind, it wasn’t quite the truth either. It would be a relief to lay it all down. But this was not how she’d wanted to go. And she did not want to go without him, even though he was already lost to her.

It should have been her blow to take. The corruption in her was much farther along, hurried by her blood magic and whatever other strange, arcane forces decided which Wardens were worthy of sparing and which were destined to crumble away to nothing. While she wrapped her mottled scalp and sunken face in scarves to hide the horror, Garahel’s good looks persisted, no matter how haggard their duty made him.

They’d been right there together. Revas no less capable than Crookytail. It should have been her.

I have to go in alone. I have to. It was too tight for them to go in together. But that was not a reason he had to go in alone.

Isseya thought she’d come to peace with Garahel’s choice. But now the tears came forth, spilling from milky eyes and dripping pathetically down her waxy cheeks. He deserved every honor they’d heaped upon him; even before Andoral lay dead, he had been the hero of this Blight.

But in that moment, he’d stolen a quick peace from her. Not only did she have to keep on with every wretched, ragged breath, but she had to live, for the first time, in a world where he did not.

She had failed those she loved most. More than failed—she had condemned them. And she was alone with that regret.

Perhaps she did want to go, after all. She was ready for it to be over.

Isseya turned her tear-streaked face to her brother’s stone eyes. The only one who’d seen her, all along, as she walked a path darker than she should have dared and it twisted her into something barely recognizable. And he’d never flinched, not once.

“Will it be enough?” she whispered. The eggs were secured behind layers of stone and magic and guarded by a maternal High Dragon. Her journal was likewise hidden in Weisshaupt; in plain sight, but only for those who cared to truly look. Lyrium dust still glittered beneath her fingernails.

Her final atonement. And she would never know if it worked. That was the price she paid, for a chance to save her beloved griffons.

Perhaps something in Garahel had known that she was the only one who could make this choice. The true final sacrifice of the Fourth Blight. While the people of Ages to come honored her brother, none would know of the parts she played, the mistakes she’d made, or what she gave to try and set things right.

As it should be. She never wanted the glory that Garahel chased. If even one of those eggs survived long enough for someone clever and worthy enough to work through Isseya’s clues, it would be worth it.

She stared up at Garahel through glassy eyes. The masons hadn’t quite captured that self-assured smirk he always wore and they’d given him smooth skin where he had moles and evened out the lopsided angle of his ears. But Isseya could see every version of him, from their Joining through shades of Blight to the final moment before Crookytail dove, as clearly as she always had.

Both of them had given everything they had to the Wardens. As the Wardens demanded.

“I hope it was enough,” she whispered. It had to be. She had nothing else left.

[professor-doctor-doctor]

Smee my beloved

I want to talk about perhaps the most under appreciated character of the Peter Pan franchise—Mr. Smee. Other than Captain Hook, he is the most fleshed out pirate, and honestly does not get enough love for the brilliance of his character because he’s often dulled down to a bumbling sidekick, when he is truly much more.

In the original Peter Pan 1904 play (and 1911 novel) :

Smee is described as the only non-conformist and Irishman aboard the Jolly Roger.

Though in most adaptations he takes the role of the first mate, originally he was the boatswain, but his relationship to Hook nonetheless remained quite strong, implying that it was each other they sought companionship in rather than a relationship based purely around their stations.

Instead of wiping his sword clean of blood after a battle, he is said to clean his spectacles.

Described as oddly genial for a pirate, but make no mistake that he DOES kill people. In fact, he has a curved sword which he nicknamed ‘Johnny Corkscrew’ for the way he twists it into his enemies guts. Pretty gruesome.

Despite being described as ‘stupid’ and ‘pathetic’, he’s often the only one Hook can have intelligent conversation with. In fact, it is Smee who points out that when the clock in the crocodile runs out, Hook will no longer hear it coming and thus be at risk of death.

He sows, dances, and even sings! He also evidently collects trinkets and gives silly little names to things.

He is the only pirate other than Starkey to survive the end battle, and whereas Starkey is captured by the Natives, Smee goes on to explore the world and sell the trinkets he gathered from piracy. He even claims that he was the ‘only man Hook ever feared.’

He is the only person Hook expresses admiration for, and too is one of the few pirates who is not berated or harmed by him.

Hook sees him as the only man with legitimately good form, which is peak levels of respect from Hook.

In Hook 1991

Smee takes on a more domestic role in caring for his Captain, and evidently Dustin Hoffman and Bob Hoskins both agreed to play Hook and Smee as a married couple!

Shown to be the only pirate other than Hook capable of reading, writing, and understanding more complex language (he makes a joke to the pirates in the first scene he’s in, in which he refers to Hook as ‘unfathomable’, and when the pirates don’t react, he realizes he has to dumb down his vocabulary for them.)

Jovial and quite silly, always knows what is best for Hook, and it is evident they’ve been with each other so long that they know each ones quirks.

Reminder that SMEE is the person to suggest the plan of turning Peter’s kids against Pan by making them like Hook, meaning he is the one who came up with the evil plot, once again proving that he’s not some bumbling idiot.

Actually so sweet I love him I heart him did you see the scene where he plays baseball? Husband.

In Peter and the Starcatcher (the play by Rick Elice)

Shown to be a really good actor, good enough to fool Aster into believing he’s a legitimate navy Lieutenant.

Once again surprisingly literate, having quite a few boasting lines for Stache before the Captain comes on board. He even is shown to correct Stache every now and again when his Captain mixes up words.

Seems to speak a tiny bit of French, as he refers to Stache’s style as ‘comme il faut’, though he could also just be using the phrase itself.

Frequently comes up with the plans Stache uses in his plots, even suggests the idea that the trunks were swapped. He doubts himself on his own ideas, frequently referring to his ideas as ‘stupid’, but nonetheless Stache accepts them wholeheartedly.

Is the only character other than Stache to break the fourth wall.

Pretty much the only reason Stache is still alive.

He’s also a ukulele player and a decent singer—and apparently, like all of the pirates, a drag Queen!

I don’t have much to say on the Disney version because they really butchered his character there, but I think it’s important to note that once again, he often suggests the plots that Hook later uses for his evil schemes, such as when he mentioned the drama between Wendy and Tinkerbell. This could be just him gossiping, but it might be more interesting to imagine that he came up with the plot, but wanted to quietly suggest it to Hook in a way that would make Hook think that he himself came up with the idea, so as to save his Captain’s already tainted pride. He’s the ultimate hypeman/husband.

TLDR; Mr. Smee is awesome and I love him and media should do him better. Here’s my version of him as well. Toodle-oo!

[employee052]

tempted to make a selfship blog just so i can be cringe n free n i can gush abt my beloved bestie (i say despite the fact im already cringe and free on this blog and im just wanting to talk abt him as myself n not character!me who plays a role in the fourth wall au)

[meatball-headache]

So I'm playing Caves of Qud. We're still Nyrouroouum, my beloved pyromaniac. She can burn down everyone, it's great. Anyway, I'm doing the Bey Lah quest where you have to take ten steps west to talk to someone, but along the way there's a stairs underground. I thought: why not check it out a little? If it's not immediately overwhelming, poke around and look for loot.

It wasn't immediately overwhelming, so I decided to look for loot. I explored the whole screen—but, the cave went beyond. I followed it for a few screens, and then found another down stairs, so I thought: okay, let's make a map so I don't get lost. So, I did that, I marked my route on the first floor to the stairs down to the second. Then on the second, I wandered until I found down stairs again... after passing one other up stairs. Then on the third floor... there were stairs going up and down all over the place. I got to the fourth floor and decided, let's map the whole floor before going down!

...several days later, I suddenly remembered the name of this game. Caves of Qud. Not Overworld of Qud, not Jungles of Qud. Each cave floor... is probably the size of the overworld map, going down at least 20 or 30 strata (I got randomly teleported pretty deep one time). So, trying to map an entire floor might be an impossibility. I did find some dead ends where there's not complete connection from one screen to the next—though I bet you can blow up the walls and just make your own tunnels somehow.

I'm going to keep exploring this floor, to find out for my own knowledge how far it goes. Maybe this pocket of caveage is limited, maybe the entire thing is totally connected. I dunno. ...but at some point, I've got to get back to the surface and cash out with my loot. And by cash out, I mean give these books to that guy in Six Day Stilt that will give me lots of exp for them. At this point, Nyrouroouum is by far my highest-level and longest-lived character, at level 16, and not getting much from anything less than a chaingun turret...

Anyway, no spoilers, as always, I just think out loud, rhetorically :p

[renaultphile]

TC tag game

Thank you for the questions and for tagging me @spudodell.

Rules: Answer the questions and tag other TC fans!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

Ralph to Laurie in the ‘break-up’ scene, as soon as Laurie starts asserting himself:

"Don't waste time, Spud. It's childish to start an argument about whether we love each other, the moment I go and sit on the other side of the room”

What a horrible thing to say!  Run like the wind, Laurie!

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

First let’s take a moment to appreciate Spudodell's recent spot of a stealth kiss (can you re-blog that one too, I couldn't find it!) at the beginning of the ‘break-up’ scene when Laurie comes through the door, which to me is absolutely definitive and ground-breaking (not in a good way for me, but still….brilliant detective work!)

On the kiss, I am in the ‘no kiss’ camp, but it is not possible to be definitive.  I feel that Mary plays a lot with echoes, parallels, and contrasts, and for me ultimately I feel the lack of a kiss is meant to be a contrast to other moments in the book, not an echo. 

But what has exercised me more recently is, kiss or no kiss (but especially if there was a kiss), this scene in chapter two really gives me the creeps.  I have been reading around the topic for some schoolboy Ralph fics and Alec/Ralph (watch this space on that one), and it has become ever more clear (Alec Waugh’s commentary ‘Public School Life’ being the best reference on this) that Prefects really were like Gods.  He points out that prefects had almost as much power as but even less accountability than teachers due to the ‘no-snitch rule’.  You can see it in the discussion of Hazell and his confessions, and how contemptuous the schoolboys are of him for 'confessing' (or in modern terms, reporting an inappropriate relationship).

In some ways, a kiss could explain quite a lot about Laurie’s behaviour and attitudes to Ralph in the book.  But to be brutally honest, I’ve had enough of creepy behaviour in men being disguised as ‘romantic’ in heterosexual romances (Mr Rochester, anyone?) and the thought of encountering it in a gay context in such a beloved book is just too much to bear.

So, no kiss for me!  He was still behaving pretty weirdly but that’s understandable in the circumstances.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I’m sold on the fic that has him get a tattoo of his sunken ship.  Love the co-ordinates of Dunkirk idea though!  But I think Lux’s one is more realistic.  My reading of that being that he got drunk and wanted to fit in so he got a load of random not-very-good-ones.

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I favour the ’59 edition, as I broadly feel the cuts make it read better.  But there is one exception.  When Laurie is daydreaming about swimming with Charles, Mary cuts this line:

“Take off your things and jump in."

Apparently skinny-dipping was a step too far for the US audience!  Scandalous!

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Bunny but not in a good way.

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

I’m Laurie as in sitting in the corner checking out the books.  Not as in going on a rescue mission with some drunken guy.

7. Post a TC meme.

Sorry I couldn’t find the source of this – not exactly a meme but it made me laugh!

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Not that I know what happened to them, but Andrew’s relatives who tried as hard as they could to ruin his life, as if his parents dying wasn't bad enough.

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I would tell him not to let Dave bully him into leaving Andrew without seeing him.  Because he knows with every fibre of his being that Andrew would not want that.

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

Too many to say.  It’s the unknown unknowns that really get me.

Tagging @gayskogul @telltaleangelina @jeork @alovelywaytospendanevening @black-bentley and anyone else who wants to play and would like to raise their head above the parapet!!

[aajjks]

DHP!JK

the wedding is beautiful. the lilac flowers complimented by the dim blue lights foreshadows alina’s and eunwoo’s love for one another. it’s bright and mixes well, they go great together. i walk through the venue and examine the decor like i’m looking at an art exhibit; one day this wedding will be ours. except, the colors won’t be blue and lilac. the colors will be black and white like yin and yang, because that’s what we are. i’m jungkook’s yin just as he’s my yangs. although, i don’t appreciate hiding in the background looking like i don’t belong but if it means keeping an eye on my beloved, then i’ll play background for now. they say, good things come to those who wait but how long must i wait to play the main character in our fairy tale story? how long will you punish me for not stealing your heart sooner?

“sarang?”

i turn around and see none other than jeon jiyeon dressed in an elegant white dress. in the corner of my eye, i see jungkook take y/n’s hand and leave the venue ‘secretly,’ but i see it. i see everything. “hi mrs. jeon, you look lovely” i bow with a smile on my face, slowly moving around to make sure neither alina, eunwoo, or any of jungkook’s friends see me. “so do you, dear” jiyeon responds as she eyes my floral corset dress.

“it’s a good thing i saw you because we need to talk about that case of yours”

“what about it?”
“y/n told me you assaulted my son. is that true?”

my eyes widen but not too much to give myself away. jiyeon is a lawyer and she’s very good at reading body language. i keep myself relaxed and play along with my shocked reaction. “a-assaulted? me?! oh my—of course not, mrs. jeon. i love jungkook! why, i would never do that. why would she make something like that up?” i place my hand to my chest and widen my mouth a little to add more dramatics. although jiyeon is skeptical, she takes the bait and at this point, i’ve lost track of jungkook.

“it is pretty extreme, but i just had to make sure” jiyeon says as she takes a sip from her glass drink filled with a red liquid, probably wine. “you and y/n look similar. were you two planning this?” i laugh. “maybe we went to the same store. i’m not sure” the twist and turn in the dress to show more of the floral design. “well, you both look beautiful. keep in touch with me, will you? oh, and try not to make a huge commotion about the case. you know i hate publicity” jiyeon says before waving goodbye and joining jaehan to sit with both alina’s and eunwoo’s parents.

now that our short conversation is finished, i hurry out the room and try to find where jungkook may have went but he’s nowhere to be found. as i’m looking for jungkook, i begin to panic about jiyeon finding out that i drugged jungkook with not-so innocent intentions afterwards. she could easily sue me or send me to jail for over 5-years! fuck you, y/n!

i search high and low for jungkook and come across a certain bathroom. for some reason, something is telling me to look inside and curiously, i do. i look both way to make sure nobody sees me and go inside:

“jungkook~ o-oh yeah…right there, daddy~”

my heart sinks as i slowly shut the door behind me and tip toe to find which stall jungkook is in. he’s not in the first one, the second, or the third. in between the spaces of the fourth stall, i can make out jungkook’s hair and the sounds of his voice telling a certain someone how much he loves fucking them—that he loves them. i squint my eyes to see y/n with her head thrown back and mouth ajar with the most filthiest sounds coming from her glossed lips. meanwhile, jungkook encourages it, not really caring if someone hears them or not.

i know i should walk away but i can’t look away. my eyes travel lower to see jungkook’s dress pants handing loosely and her legs wrapped around his waist. the smell of sex fills up the bathroom as the thuds of jungkook’s hips connecting with hers bounces from wall to wall. tears fill my eyes as i watch jungkook kiss y/n with so much love, so much lust...but through the creases of the bathroom stall, her eyes connect with mine.

“fuck me harder, daddy~ yeah…right there. you love this pussy don’t you? i’m yours, right? say it, daddy~ say that i’m yours”

you. bitch.

i bawl my fists up and grit my teeth. it’s all intentional isn’t it?

that’s when i realized, you aren’t as innocent as you appear to be.

~🫧

“fuck me harder, daddy~ yeah…right there. you love this pussy don’t you? i’m yours, right? say it, daddy~ say that i’m yours”

Oh are you trying to make him go crazy? Jungkook fucks you with a newfound vigorous passion. His hips thrust harder and harder against yours.

His dick pistons in and out of you as he continues to fuck you against the wall. “Yes… you’re mine. I love this pussy so fuckin much.” He groans, leaning in to bite your neck as he sucks a dark hickey into it.

“This my fuckin pussy.. ugh— fuck— you feel so good.” He cries out, feeling his orgasm building up. “You’re mine-ngh.. that’s why I fuckin knocked you up.” He blabbers, breathing heavily as you both moan out.

Your cunt feels so hot. It’s sucking him in so deeply, it’s so hard to last.

Jungkook pulls you in for a searing kiss as he thrusts in to your pussy. “Y-Yn baby I’m gonna cum. Cum again for me..” he begs, his hips working overtime.

Your expressions are so fucking hot, he’s got you drooling and moaning like a whore, his whore.

“Cum for daddy- cum all over my cock.” He demands suddenly yanking your hair so you’re looking directly into his eyes.

“Who the fuck are you looking at- pay attention to me!” You cry out and jungkooks anger dissolves.

“Now.. cum for me.” He whispers in your ear. “Or we stay here until you cannot walk.” He threatens.

Jungkook smirks as you gush all over his cock. You’re such a slut. You love being degraded.

“Ahhhh fuck yeah..”

He groans as he shoots his load inside you, filling you up. He loves fucking you raw.

“Now let’s fix ourselves up.”