#platonic wade

[incorrectanything]

Y/N: Can I go to the movies tonight?

Logan: Bub, I'm not your dad, you can do whatever the hell you want.

Y/N:

Y/N: Okay-

Logan: Be home by ten, don't talk to strangers, and remember to look both ways before crossing the road.

Y/N:

Logan: Here, ten bucks for popcorn.

[antisocialpyromaniac]

Reasons I love Deadpool and Wolverine:

The totally platonic hand holding

The platonic homoerotic tension

The twelve hours of platonic sex in the Honda Odyssey

Comic accurate Wolverine suit

The platonic pet names

The platonic penetration 

It sets Deadpool up to be a bigger part of the MCU

Logan was allowed to have feelings and stay with Wade. 

The platonic meet the parents scene.

Them platonically moving in together

The two of them platonically trying to sacrifice their lives for each other

[softfem-dom]

the four times they asked about his sidekick, and the one time he realized why. (pt.1)

worst!logan + d&w!deadpool x suicidal!reader

a/n : okay this is sad and emotion-driven asf, so if you're sensitive to suicide mentions or emotional trumoil and problems of self-worth please do not continue reading this. Also warning for suicide description for the other universes' sidekicks. first part out of five!

wc : 2k

TW FOR SUICIDE , TW FOR DEPRESSION , SOFT!WADE , SOFT!WORST!LOGAN , WADE BEING UNABLE TO LOOK AFTER A KID , HEAVY/MULTIPLE BATMAN AND JASON TODD REFERENCES , DEADPOOL VARIANTS FUSSING OVER READER. soft!worst logan . overprotective!deadpool . only-deadpool-still-with-sidekick!wade wilson

Think of Batman and Robin.

Yup. Now turn and twist it around some more and make it.. more chaotic, more unhinged. More morally questionable.

And then think of Deadpool. The merc with a mouth. The dude that chose a red suit just so he didn't have to bother about the red stains.

And then add up a teenager to the recipe. As chaotic as the man, maybe a bit naïver. And you've got Deadpool and his sidekick.

Because if all cool superheros had sidekicks, then Deadpool —albeit while not actively being a superhero. Had to have one too, didn't he?

And that's how you had ended up roped into all of his unethical adventures, killing off the bad guys that had the highest price above their head and helping Deadpool run the official Spideypool fanwebsite.

But, despite how many masks you put on, despite how many bad guys you killed, despite how many times you had saved someone. You were still just you.

A teenager. A teenager paired up with an older, unhinged, mercenary that ran his mouth way too much and that got you into way too much trouble.

A teenager paired up with an irresponsible adult without emotional responsability was the fucking equivalent of throwing a trained lab mouse inside the first maze that didn't have an exist.

Wade cared about you. Yeah, you knew that. But the problem was that you were a teenager and teenagers needed a certain amount of care to grow healthyly.

Because physically you were great, with how much running around and being-at-the-verge-of-death you did. But mentally? God, then you were the messiest mess in the planet.

Spending so much time with someone that had so many intrusive thoughts, that spilled his thoughts without filter, had rubbed off on you.

And sometimes you scared yourself when sudden thoughts popped up in your mind. Like the sudden pull in your legs anytime you walked near the edge of a roof, the "jump!" that flashed across your head. Or the way you wondered, asked yourself, what it would feel to be stabbed when you were cleaning Deadpool's katanas. Or the way you started to throw yourself at danger's way just for the thrill of it. And if you died, well, there went nothing.

It was wrong. It was bad. And it was a totally unhealthy and toxic vice. You knew you were self-destructive.

But you didn't know how to do doing anything about it.

You see, if Deadpool wasn't so reckless and careless maybe you would've told him. But since he did it, you grew into your late teens thinking it was okay.

,,

Lately, your thoughts had grew more dangerous. More specific. And you were starting to get scared of yourself. In movies, that was how villians started —with destructive thoughts. And you didn't want to become a villian.

What would Wade think of you? He'd be disappointed in you, hate your guts, despise you.

So your mind jumped to the quickest—and most self-destructive—conclussion. Offing yourself before that happened.

And you had nearly 10 pages of your pink diary written with ways of carrying on with that plan. Glitter gel pen words scribbled about the knifes in the house—their lengths and sharpness—, about the belts stacked away in Wade's closet, about the height of the fall from the balcony to the ground. You had everything planned.

And Wade hadn't caught onto anything of it, except for the fact you seemed more twitchy and on edge than usual. He tied it to the usual teenage anxiousness that came with your age.

He didn't know this was the last mission he was going to have you in.

,,

He had just brought you along on this 'adventure' just like he had did with all of the ones before, except in this one there was another.. —reluctant—companion.

Logan Howlett. The Wolverine.

And not the dead hero that Wade had unburied a few days before. No. This one was the worst variant of Wolverine in the whole multiverse, the one from the timeline where he killed all of the X-Men.

And that Howlett was smelling something coming.

He could smell the irony scent of blood whafting off of you, a bitter scent choking his airways. Your scent was way too bitter for how cheerful you were, except maybe you weren't.

This Logan had only barely known you for two days, but if something were to happen to you he'd kill the responsible, then find a way to kill the mercenary and then find a way to kill himself too.

But, first. Stop, pause, rewind. How this did even start?

,,

You groaned as you helped Wade drag the uncounscious body of the drunk Wolverine you had found in a random timeline —the only one in which the dude hadn't tried to kill you at first sight. Entering through the door-shaped orange portal to the TVA room.

"one anchor being coming right up!" Wade's voice rang through the air before the merc, fully dressed in his suit, had crossed the portal.

You let out a startled squeak when the antihero pretty much threw the uncounscious body of the Logan on the ground, wincing at the metallic sound of his skull against the floor.

"Wade!" you hissed. "c'mon pumpkin', don't sweat it. He's full metal, remember?" he said as he gave the drunk Logan a kick in the side, the metallic sound echoing his words.

"listen here, babygirl" the merc started, looking at the unimpressed man before him. "this Wolverine has the he-can-do-anything-even-musical-stuff look to him and bonus he's actually wearing the accurate comic costume. So, uh yeah, there, timeline saved"

The silence coming from the dude that had called Wade here in the first place didn't sound too good get it?. And as you sat there, poking the drunk man's face with your index finger while whispering for him to "wake up, Wolvie, rise and shine, wakey wakey?"

"I don't understand"

"You said my, our" he pointed at you "universe is dying because this nutsack died, well, problem solved" he now pointed at Logan.

"oh my god" Paradox breathed out. "you actually think you can replace an Anchor Being with this?"

Oh, great. A rant was comming. Like the ones your mother goes on when you mess up too many times.

"I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine BT dubs. But you.. have outdone yourself and brought me the worst Wolverine in the whole multiverse!"

It looked as if the dude's temple vein was going to pop, and you weakly interveened. "what do you mean the worst one..?" you breathed out.

"This Wolverine let down his entire world, he's the stuff of Legend but not in a good way and what he did.. well, some things are just beyond forgiveness"

A beat of silence followed, you knew the Wolverine on the floor had been awake and listening for the whole time. But then, you saw Paradox finally looking at you.

"wait"

"what?"

"is that your little sidekick?"

The incredulous, and cruelly amused, tone of the man in uniform made Wade quirk an eyebrow under his mask.

"yeah, why?"

His words were followed by a booming laugh coming from Paradox. His hand going to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose, as chuckle after chuckle it just confused Wade and you even more.

"I can't believe you've still got her"

That was like a titty-flash for Wade, and not the good kind. He stood there, mouth gaping like a fish as he wildly and overexageredly gestured towards you.

"I gave you a chance at greatness, because my superiors deemed you special. But, I did my duty. I gave you the opportunity and you refused, so there's no more bussiness to do here"

And with that, and a strange remote control in his hand, he pressed a button and zapped you three off to somewhere. Leaving Wade with a strange taste lingering in his mouth.

Well, at least it seemed like your last adventure wasn't going to be boring.

(tags : @coocoocachewgotscrewed , @lokisloverisnthere , @krowsfoot , @lizziegraysworld , @r0reep , @beelzel-brat ).

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

For the yandere! Justice League x assistant reader, how would they react if they had Deadpool as a friend? Like he randomly shows up. They would try to keep the reader as far away from him as possible, but it's Deadpool. Lol. How would Yandere Justice League feel if the reader liked Deadpool because he's funny and makes the reader laugh even if in a tense situation, randomly just talking about nonsense and/or making funny jabs at some of Justice League members? Not only that, but he would just annoy them for his and the reader's amusement. I can also imagine Wonder Woman or Superman trying to kill/critically injure him but finding out he has a super healing ability. LOL. I can imagine the scene where Deadpool punches Colossus, but his hand breaks, then he tries again while saying, "Cock shot!" but his other hand breaks. Instead, he does it to Superman and says, "Oh, your poor Lois Lane!" I feel like that would make the reader laugh out loud.

I finally saw the Deadpool & Wolverine movie, and I loved it! So now I want to see more content about Deadpool. I forget how funny he can be. I would like you to add a Deadpool & Wolverine, but I don't know if you have seen the movie yet. But I recommend you go and watch the movie.

A Day in Life: Best Friends Forever

Synopsis: A day in your life where a visit from your friend ends up in Deadpool losing his thumbs and re-attaching them back.

Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Gn!Assistant!Reader; Platonic!Deadpool

Tw: 18+; No spoilers from the movie; Some violence; Light gore descriptions (not really); Some sexual comments (it's Deadpool); English is my 2nd language.

Word count: 830

Requested? Yes.

Extra notes: I loved this request, saw the movie on like the same week it came out, sorry this took so long</3

General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist

— So that's what happens when I’m not around, huh?! — Hal Jordan snarked, faking amusement by the sight in front of him, but being very much not amused.

How? Was the question going through everyone's minds, as they watched their dear assistant (Y/N), in the middle of Hall of Justice, chatting away with a very infamous criminal known all around the hero-villain underground, who every single soul despised, and yet, there you were, choking your laughter and in tears with Deadpool, acting as if you've been friends all your life.

Diana was the first one to approach, followed by the rest of the Justice League.

— (Y/N), is this man bothering you? — She squared up and stared directly on Deadpool’s blank white lenses. That grounded you and helped you come back from the stories your friend was telling you.

— B-Bothering me? — Your laughter slowly died down, and you wiped your tears. — No, we’re just talking. — You shrugged and sniffled, so happy that a genuine smiled was fixed on your face, hypnotizing all the heroes for a moment.

— Wonder Woman! — Deadpool gave little fangirl jumps. Diana swallowed a groan. — It’s amazing to see you again! I’m even wearing my fanciest anal plug and thinking about you, all in your honor. — Diana couldn't control the disgusted and astounded expression on her face, while Wade saluted her. You bite your lips to not giggle.

— Don't be silly, Pool. Not everyone understands your humor. — You lightly slapped his shoulder and he sighed.

— I know! That's why I'm so introverted and depressed! — He shook his head. — That's why Disney sold me to DC, they couldn't handle my deep and complex character. Let's hope James Gunn knows what he's doing now. — Everyone, including you, furrowed their eyebrows, but no one decided to question what the hell he was talking about, since the mercenary was known for being insane. — And just after my third movie with Wolvie came out! Unbelievable. — He threw his hands in the air and shook his head while looking at an empty space as if there was someone there. He did that sometimes.

— You seem… Close. W-When did that happen, (N/N)? — Flash looked between you and Deadpool, biting his lower lip, slightly anxious. You blinked.

— Oh, well. Like, a few months ago? He sent his curriculum because he wanted to be part of the Justice League. There were no records of him in the system so I Interviewed him. Obviously he didn't pass, but we became good friends! — You shrugged with an easy smile.

— That's… Great, (N/N). — You narrowed your eyes on Hal Jordan.

— Hey… — Deadpool's mask gave the slightest hint that he was furrowing his eyebrows, and he pointed at Green Lantern. — (Y/N) told me about you. I don't like you. — He took his guns out of the holsters and pointed at the brunette. You gasped and stepped back, slightly regretting having told Wade about that. — STEP BACK WORST RYAN REYNOLDS SUPERHERO MOVIE OR I’M GONNA BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT IN 4K R-RATED! — Hal raised his arms. He was already on thin ice with you, and beating your bestie would probably be a bad idea to start over.

Batman grunted for someone to cover your eyes and threw two batarangs that disarmed Deadpool before he could react. Deadpool gasped and looked at the ground wide eyed. His thumbs had been chumped off in the ordeal (Batman was jealous and also knew he would just regenerate).

— WHAT? WHAT’S HAPPENING? — You blindly yelled, since Superman had zoomed to just behind you and was covering your eyes.

— HE CASTRATED ME! — Deadpool cried, reaching back for his swords, but since he didn't have thumbs anymore, he couldn't even hold them, making him just cry more from frustration. — THE DADDY ISSUES JUST GET WORSE! AND JUST BECAUSE I WAS READY TO BE ADOPTED BY YOU! — Batman furrowed his eyebrows at the mention of him having more than just one kid.

— Guys, we should all just calm down. — Flash tried to play the pacifist, standing in the middle of the chaos with his hands up, but Wade’s cries were covering his voice.

— WHAT'S HAPPENING? — You tried to tug Superman’s hands off, but he didn't let up, and started trying to sooth you.

Deadpool got to his knees and pathetically tried to push one of his thumbs into place, trying to accelerate his healing process, and after 30 seconds of chaos, he perked up when the thumb got attached again. He did the same to the other one.

— The sight is gross, (Y/N). You do not want to see it… — Wonder Woman mumbled, eyes fixed on the scene, feeling a mix of grossed out and impressed.

— Gross? This is natural. Like the birth of a little naked newborn baby. You wanna know what's real gross? My roommate Blind Al’s stink! She might as well be dead at this point… Uh, oh… — Wade slowly got up. — (Y/N)... Call me an Uber. I need to check on someone.

Like, comment and reblog 🥰

[devine-fem]

Oh my god. Cmon, Marvel, he’s practically begging at this point.

Deadpool: Assassin (2018)

[brainrotcharacters]

deadclaws badassery where it's revealed Wade and Logan tested the distance on Logan's hearing.

Watch them hundreds of feet away from each other in the battlefield and all it takes to set Wolverine loose is for Deadpool to mutter "Logan."

gif credits to original owners!

[thattripleabattery]

a few platonic reader incorrect quotes for Deadpool and Wolverine

Reader can be any gender, sexuality, and age. If you want to know why reader is there, their timeline has already been destroyed from natural causes and is at the tva and was teamed up with Deadpool to keep him in line

Reader: So what's the plan?

Deadpool: I don't know. You're smart, *points at Logan* he’s mean, come up with something.

Reader to Deadpool and Wolverine: with all due respect, which is none

Deadpool: It's nice to be wanted, you know?

Reader: Not by the tva!

Deadpool and Wolverine fighting each other

Reader: can I have a waffle 😢CAN I PLEASE HAVE A WAFFLE😭

Wolverine: I could kill you if I wanted.

Reader: Yeah? So could any other mutant. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

Deadpool: We have fun, don't we, reader?

Reader: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

Wolverine to Deadpool: do you have adhd

Reader: I don’t think there’s a name for what he has

Reader: I am though if you’re curious

Reader (point to Wolverine): you push people away and act like an asshole because you’re too afraid to get close to anyone

Reader (points to Deadpool): and you use humor to deflect trauma

Deadpool: Thank you

Reader: I didn't say that was a good thing

Deadpool: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Reader: Holy shit, Logan, do you know what this means?!

Wolverine: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

Reader: this is what you sound like Logan

Reader: oh Jean this, oh Jean that, oh I’m in love with Jean even though she clearly is with Scott

Reader: like seriously, storm was right there man

[limethefirst]

Could I request a platonic Wolverine x Innocent Reader x Deadpool where the reader is a superhero and the two want to take care of them and shows them the ropes but argue about how to do it?

No pressure or rush, hope you’re having a wonderful day/night!

-W.P 💚

Hero in training

pairings: Wolverine x reader x Deadpool (platonic)

warnings: violence, swearing

summary: Wade and Logan don’t see eye to eye when it comes to training methods

a/n: thank you for requesting! I wasn’t super sure in what way you wanted reader to be innocent so please forgive me if this isn’t to your best liking, also I’m gonna start working on part 3 of void runners soon so keep an eye out!🫢

No one ever said being a superhero was easy, but it especially wasn’t easy when you were being trained by both the Wolverine and Deadpool. The two people who hardly ever got along.

You watched as Wade and Logan stood in front of you, Logan wearing casual training clothes and Wade in his normal red suit. Wade looked excited, he was ready to show you his ways but Logan had another approach in mind.

“Alright kid, first we need to learn to control your powers, from there we can begin with some drills, slowly moving up to advanced drills then work more on strength training” Logan started, his plan was to train your powers and then learn some moves with them, hoping it would help you in the self defense aspect of crime fighting.

This was something Wade didn’t find appealing, “Woah back the fuck up now Peanut” Logan glared at the man, before Wade continued, “Remember we’re both training them, and I say we need some more fun in this training, maybe learn some cool flashy moves, or we can start off this party with a dance off!”

“A dance off?” You looked at Wade, a bit confused on his method of teaching but not entirely against it.

Logan on the other hand didn’t appreciate the comment, “This isn’t some type of circus act, this is real life Wade, we need to have some type of approach or we won’t make progress, and all that will happen is they get injured out there,” you looked between the two men, wishing someone else had trained you instead.

“Well why don’t we just see what our little sugar plum fairy thinks,” Wade then turned back over to you and booped your nose, “Okay kiddo, do you wanna have a fun training with Papa Wade!! Or do you want to be all bored and tired with meanie Wolverine!” Wade asked you, his voice sounded like he was talking to a little baby.

You looked at both men, unsure of what to say, not wanting to upset the other. Then the idea came to mind, “Can’t we try both methods? Maybe a combination?”

“Fuck no, that idiots ‘method’ is going to get you hurt,” Logan quickly replied, this caused Wade to go over to you and grab your head in his arms.

He began to pet your head and started cooing, “Do I look like I’d ever let anything harm them?”

You stood there as Wade held your head tight, a sigh escaping your lips, “Please Logan, I know its unconventional but I really think it’ll work!” You started to plead with the man.

Wade slowly let go, a hand still on your head, while Logan stood there, unsure if this was the right choice, but he knew how persistent Wade was.

Logan caved, “Fine but if there isn’t any progress, only I’ll train you, got it kid?”

You have him a smile and a thumbs up, Wade just went up to Logan and clung to his arm, “Awe you’re such a softy aren’t you my little firecracker!”

Logan quickly let his claws out and stabbed him in the stomach, already regretting his decision.

Over the course of the next few weeks, you continued your combination training, Logan taught you defensive skills as well as offensive, he also showed you a lot of strategies that would protect you when the time came, while Wade showed you the flair of being a hero, without having to kill as he knew that wasn’t the type of hero you wanted to be, even though every once and a while he’d try to persuade you.

Even though you’d decided to do the combination training, both men still argued all the time.

“Why the hell are you telling them to jump through the sky light when you want to sneak attack a criminal?” Logan’s finger pushed into Wade’s chest, irritated that he’d tell you to do something so dumb and risky.

“Because they need to look awesome while saving the day, oh don’t forget the funny joke once the bad guy sees you, alright my sugar cane,” Wade looked over to you and you gave him a happy smile with a thumbs up, knowing you probably weren’t gonna do that but it was nice to make him feel good before he and Logan fight again over how that isn’t an ethical way of fighting crime.

You decided it was best to leave before they started to get at it again, you knew that tomorrow they’d go back to helping you anyway. So maybe it was better to let them get it out of their systems every one and a while.

[animekpopsimp]

Deadpool With a Daughter Who's Just Like Him

You were born after your father's mutation

Which made him wonder if you would also have the same powers

What he did know right away was that you had the exact same personality as him

You developed the same snarky sense of humor as him, and it was just as vulgar as well

Most parents would be horrified by that, but he was proud to know that you were so much like him

When you got older, the question of weather or not you would have the same mutation as your father was answered

You were involved in a really bad accident and your father was worried that you would die

However, to his relief, you regenerated at the same rate as he could

He was relieved that you were ok

Now there were two effectively immortal, foul mouthed, snarky mercenaries running around

When you're old enough, your father teaches you how to fight just like him

He wants you to be able to defend yourself

He also won't stop you from following in his path, because he knows you can handle yourself

He'll even go with you on jobs

If you want, he'll make you your own suit

The two of you make an amazing team and can take out an entire large group of people without breaking a sweat

Despite your father's usually goofy nature, he's also really protective

Good luck dating, because he'll be keeping a close eye on anyone you get close to

He doesn't mean to be super protective, he just wants what's best for you

If anyone does break your heart, you can count on him to take care of it

You're precious to him and he won't let anything happen to you

[misquoted-chronicles]

*In some hole in the wall dive bar *

Deadpool: Okay, Y/n, remember what I taught you. Loud clear voice, maximum effort and 1000% confidence.

Toddler Y/n: *small squeaky voice* White Russian, no ice, no vodka... hold the Kahlua.

Bartender: *quickly prepares order* Here’s your drink, little lady.

Bartender: *sets down a glass of milk*

Toddler Y/n: *loudly clears her throat and narrows her eyes at the bartender*

Bartender: My apologies, little miss.

Bartender: *drops a bright neon pink loopy straw into the glass*

Toddler Y/n: *happily accepts her drink* Thanks!

Deadpool: *in proud dad* That’s my girl! *wipes away fake tear*

[incorrectanything]

Wade: Logan and I are having a baby!

Y/N: That's gre-

Wade, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

[twilightkitkat]

Everyone knows that the MCU is interconnected to set up crossovers and grand finales to arcs, right?

Imagine this: after the events of No Way Home, Peter is living alone. He has nobody who remembers him outside of his Spiderman persona, and the world has forgotten his existence. He's working a shitty job and living in a shitty apartment and is completely isolated from the world.

At the same time, Wade and Logan have started living together after saving the world. They both understand each other in ways that nobody else does. They relate to each other's pain. They begin taking jobs and missions together and learning to truly live instead of just survive.

At this moment, their character arcs moved in opposite directions. Peter went from having it all—friends, family, fame, respect—to having nothing. Meanwhile, Wade and Logan went from having nothing—Wade had lost his sense of purpose in life and girlfriend while Logan had lost the X-men and was outcasted by society—to finally having each other. They are creating their home just as Peter lost his.

But despite this, not everything is going well. Maybe Logan and Wade are struggling due to miscommunication and their insecurities. Maybe a new villain comes along and puts external stress on them. Maybe the timeline is still unstable and they need to keep doing maintenance work to restore it. The point is, there is a stressor.

It is then that their stories intersect.

Wade, who is the only current character known to break the fourth wall. Who would look at Spiderman and know that he's Peter Parker despite him being erased.

Peter, who is completely isolated in a world that has forgotten him. Who sees everything he wanted dangled in front of him each time he passes a billboard with Stark Industries or a group of friends laughing or a parent and their child. Who is desperate for any sense of belonging and feels the loneliness eating away at him.

Wade would run into him while Spiderman was on patrol. He'd be sitting on a building, staring off into the distance forlornly. He'd recognize the loneliness in him and strike up a conversation.

And Peter would nearly cry when Wade offered to buy him a sandwich. For the first time in God knows how long, he felt like someone actually cared about him behind the mask.

And so they started talking. Peter ran into Wade and they'd wave at each other and talk. Wade would get to know Peter as the person and not the hero.

And Wade would know a little too much. Would remember details a little too well. Took to him like an old buddy who he had known for years. (And really, it was the case. Deadpool and Spiderman were old friends... just not in this universe.)

And Peter would latch onto the first person who showed him kindness, even if they're loud and morally questionable and a mercenary. He finally had a friend again. Someone he could just talk to.

And then the conflict in Wade's own life spirals and reaches a head. And for one reason or another, he winds up trapped at Peter's apartment, bloodied and injured.

He'd fought with Logan earlier that day and he was too far. So he showed up at Peter's expecting to get patched up a little and let his healing factor do the work.

...Except he doesn't heal. Something was gravely wrong. He felt hot and dizzy and the wound was beginning to get infected. And Wade busted his phone in the skirmish he got into, so he couldn't communicate with anyone.

(And so he doesn't see the messages from Logan. Demanding where he was, if he was okay, apologizing for earlier and asking him to come back.)

He ends up drifting in and out of consciousness for days, barely on the edge of life. Peter is worried as hell and is trying his best to take care of him despite his tight budget. Neither could go to a hospital because of their mutant status and illegal activities.

Wade is barely conscious enough to talk, let alone tell him his emergency contacts.

And so the days pass until a week has gone by and Logan hasn't heard a word from Wade. And he's freaking the fuck out. Because even if Wade was pissed, he still came back a few hours later so they could talk it out. They never dealt well with separation, especially Logan.

He's been cornering every vaguely shady person on the streets to see if they knew where Wade was. He'd torn up villain bases near their area. Had even fucking considered putting up missing posters because of how desperate he was.

Until he finally gets a lead.

And so, when Peter hears knocking at his door, he goes to answer.

Only to get pinned against the wall by Logan, claws threatening to puncture his neck. A snarl on his lips and a feral look in his eyes, bloodthirsty and on the verge of snapping.

And Peter tries to stutter out words but it's hard when his windpipe is being crushed. This was completely unexpected.

He didn't do anything to piss someone off that badly, right? And how did someone trace his Spiderman identity back to Peter Parker when he'd been so careful?

More importantly—

A shuffling sound came from the couch in the living room.

Wade. Wade was still here.

Peter renewed his struggle, a fierce glare in his eyes. Even if nobody would miss him, he'd make sure nobody could harm his only friend.

"What time is it?" Wade mumbled roughly, sitting up and stretching his sore muscles. He still felt feverish and had a sore throat, but at least he wasn't on Death's Door anymore.

Logan's head snapped in Wade's direction like a bloodhound following a trail. He'd clearly heard him.

Without warning, he threw Peter to the side, who clutched at his throat as he was slammed against the wall.

He was going for Wade. Shit.

He knew Wade had enemies, considering he was a mercenary, but he didn't realize the type of ballpark he was playing in. And Peter knew Wade's healing factor was infinitely stronger than his own... except it wasn't working.

Was he the one responsible for Wade's vulnerable state? Did this man weaken him on purpose so he could take him out?

Peter stumbled to his feet, muscles tensing as he darted out to stop Logan, who seemed hellbent on approaching Wade. But Logan turned the corner just before he could reach him.

He saw Logan register Wade's presence, eyes locking onto him with a single-minded, piercing focus that was blinding in its intensity.

"Hey!" he tried calling out, but Logan wasn't paying attention. Didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings, only looking at Wade with an indescribable mixture of emotions. There were the obvious emotions like anger, but if Peter didn't know any better he'd say the man was looking at Wade with something akin to pure relief, awe, and fear.

Wade glanced over at the man and his eyes widened. "Logan...? Honey badger, you came for me?" His voice was sleep-heavy and the words came out choked.

Wade had been calling the name 'Logan' in his sleep almost every night. When Peter would try to quiet him by brushing his sweat-stuck hair away from his forehead, Wade would latch onto his wrist and wouldn't let go until he cracked open his eyes and saw it wasn't who he wanted.

Peter wanted to ask who Logan was. Who was so important to him that he kept whispering his name when he tossed and turned at night, that he mistook Peter for him and looked disappointed when he realized it was just him (and ouch, sometimes that stung).

But he'd assumed it was someone from Wade's past. Like MJ was to him. Someone important but long gone.

And so when Wade called this man Logan, Peter thought it was him mistaking someone for Logan in a sickness-induced delirium. It wouldn't be the first time.

But Logan stared at him, fists still clenched where his claws protruded through his knuckles. He looked at Wade, searchingly, like his face had the answers to his questions.

And once Wade uttered that name, he launched himself at Wade.

Peter cried out as he tried to catch Logan to stop him from hurting or killing Wade, but he was so much faster than him. He'd crossed the room in the blink of an eye.

Peter looked up, terrified, to see a completely unexpected sight.

The man was clinging to Wade, clutching at him like his life depended on it, shivers wracking his body. And Wade clung to him tighter, threading his fingers through his hair, murmuring softly.

...Huh?

[softfem-dom]

hi!! Could you do a Deadpool x Reader, where Wade walks in on reader self h4rming? (It's completely okay if not! Do wtv makes you comfortable :D) Lots of comfort, and fluff please!!

not paper

deadpoolxgnreader

a/n : why of course I can sweetheart! <33 I'm totally comfortable with writting about this in case anyone wants to send in a req like this one

wc : 1.4k

S4LF H4RM TW! , SH DESCRIPTION , FLUFF COMFORT , PLATONIC! . soft!deadpool . post d&w!deadpool . r lives with deadpool and wolverine.

The feeling of being a stranger in your own body wasn't new to you. No, it was a recurring —excruciating— ache that settled deep within your bones, bones that didn't feel yours.

Ever since you had been sent to the void things had taken a darker turn. You were young, and now all of your dreams for life were long-gone and destroyed because of the desertic setting that you had been teleported to by the TVA.

You had stopped wondering why they had sent you here a very long time ago. Simply focused on surviving Cassandra and her strange smoke-y pet.

Or that was until two strangers, one Deadpool —another one— and one Wolverine had been teleported. You had found them in a blood-covered and distroyed Honda Oddyssey that looked way too similar to Nicepool's car.

Well, in summary, those two dudes had managed to get themselves and you out of that horrible cage for failed attempts at characters that nobody remembered anymore.

That was what your mind focused on most days. You had been sent to the void because nobody remembered you anymore, because nobody loved you enough for your departure to be significant, because you didn't raise the numbers, simply because you weren't important enough.

You sometimes wished you had been a teen idle. Would they have remembered you if you had gotten the prom queen title?

Wasn't youth supposed to be beautiful?

You were living with Wade, Logan and Mary Puppins in Blind Al's appartment. Had been living with them for a while, but it maybe was the first time you had been truly alone in here.

Blind Al had bingo night, Logan was off drinking in the bar down the street, and Wade was walking Dogpool. You were alone.

You didn't like the silence that had settled on the lived-in appartment. Didn't like how still everything was. How everything had it's place in the appartment yet it felt as if you were just a piece of a different puzzle kept in the same box.

You were very conscious of your heartbeat —feeling each thump against your ribs. You could feel the way it's rythmic started to sped up little by little for the longer you stayed in silence.

You recognised the dull feeling starting to claw low at your gut, creeping up until it got a grip of your stomach —almost making you feel queasy. Until it reached your heart.

And squeezed.

And with that you were back with the same energy buzzing low beneath your skin, with your brain slowly starting to whisper things —harmful things. In your ear.

You were sitting on the couch, facing the TV yet there was no show on. The screen as black as the void starting to grow within you.

Your eyes dipped low to the exposed skin of your legs, there were a few fading purple bruises on your skin —like accidental splatters of paint on an empty canvas. You had managed to pass them as accidental bumps against furniture, nobody had pondered if the hits had been pruposeful.

And at that you were suddenly on your feet, driven by an anxiety that didn't quite seem fitting or yours. As if something bad would happen if you didn't do as your brain was telling you to.

Nobody was home. It was okay. Nobody was home. Nobody would see. It would be okay.

Before you even knew what you were doing, processing what you were doing, your hand was around the handle of the kitchen uttilery drawer. You pulled, the clinking sound of metal from spoons and forks sounding distant —as if underwater.

Then, you were sitting on the floor, back against the kitchen table and knife in your hands. You traced the sharp blade against your skin, not quite cutting yet, the cold making gosebumps grow on your skin.

And then you sliced.

You could feel the stinging of your skin breaking under the blade, but you didn't care. It was a need to do it, you didn't even stop when the metallic scent of blood whafted into your nostrils, nor when the red started to taint your skin.

Your hands were shaking. You were shaking. Driven by an anxiety that wasn't quite real, feeling trapped in a body that wasn't quite yours, feeling the pain that didn't feel real enough.

You just stopped when you heard a startled gasp from behind you.

Just like that the knife —bloodstained. Was on the floor, the clinking sound echoing in the kitchen. Eyes wide and head snaping to see who it was at the door.

Being met with Wade standing there, still with his Deadpool suit on, staring right at you with the white in his mask's eyes wide.

The man saw the way your hand reached behind you, finding support on the cold floor, and he catched onto the clear signal that you were about to flee.

"hey—hey hey, no. None of that, no." his voice was firm, stern, acting in control even if he didn't have a fucking clue on what was going on. "oh god, does the writer want me to have a heart attack or something? gezz-"

He muttered some words under his breath as he quickly tugged off his red mask, walking over to where you were sitting and crouching right infront of you with a strained smile. Talking to you right now was going to be like talking to stray dog, right?

"okay, give me the knife, pumpkin', c'mon"

He stretched out his palm, making a grabing motion for visual, as he stared at you expectingly. You were far too confused and equally scared of his reaction to protest right now, so you simply reached for the bloody knife and placed it on his open palm with shaky hands. "alright, good, very good" he hummed.

Then, he was uncrouching for a small second to place the knife on top of the table before crouching down and this time actually sitting next to you on the floor.

"now, c'mere sweetums" he whispered before he opened his arms and pulled you into a hug. His gloved hand on the back of your head, fully enveloping you with his body.

When his warmth surrounded you, it was as if that stupid fog that had been clouding your mind all day —that numbness— had dissipated, and you felt yourself choking on a sob before starting to cry in his arms.

He held you all the way through, craddling you and whispering gentle praises in your ear. His voice was softer than usual, gentler, and without a single sexual innuendo.

It was odd for him to be like that. But it was also odd for you to have acted the way you did and that had worried him sick.

Your tears slowly dried up, sobs quieting down into soft sniffles, when you felt the warmth from his breath puffing against your forehead. It was a fleeting second, you looking up with your teary eyes and being met with his brown eyes, before he was pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. 'The writter is so gonna have to make me a real ass in the next fanfic to compensate this' he thought to himself.

Once you had calmed down, he gently moved your face out of his chest. Hushing and sushing you when you let out a little distressed noise at the separation.

His hand settled for staying tangled in your hair, his thumb gently rubbing circles under your eye —wiping away the tears. Before he spoke.

"you calm now, cupcake?" he whispered, breathed out, softly. He didn't know what had driven you into self-harming so actively, but he wasn't about to trigger anything by speaking in a loud voice right now.

At your little nod and "uh-huh" he noded his head and sighed in relief before smacking another kiss on your forehead.

"alright babybird, up you go" he huffed out, voice straining in the last three words by the effort of picking you up into his arms. "we're gonna clean those boo-boos, yeah?"

When the little baby-voice he put on got a small chuckle out of you, he finally smiled for the first time since he had walked into the appartment to the tacky smell of blood.

"hey, kid"

"yeah?"

Once he had set you down in the bathroom, wet rag tenderly wiping away the blood in your raw and damaged skin, he dared to speak again.

"your skin's not paper, so let's not cut it, 'kay?

[lady-ashfade]

Insane In The Membrane

Platonic!Deadpoll x teen!reader

-♡ I have no idea what this is about but it’s just a funny thought.

-♡ warnings: wade being a sore loser.

“So tell me how you ending up here again?” the man sitting across from you asked as he laid down a new card from his deck. you shrugged at his questions and look through the cards in your hands while bouncing you foot in boredom.

“No really sure, my best friend was doing some magical shit and the next minute I’m here,” you pick up a card and flick it down then looked back up at him, “playing cards with you.”

“And that’s exciting it’s it?” He gushed. You could see him kicking his legs like a child with a tone of a hint of craziness- who was he really?

“You know i think-” he stops himself again when he looks down at the table and his eyes fall on the card you placed down. “Oh, what the fuck!” He shouts and stands up in anger like a child again, you’re sensing a theme.

“Have a hard time expecting defeat?” You smirk at him.

You then jump back a bit when he takes his arm and cleans the table of everything, your drink & the cards. then his finger comes closer to your face and you watch it confused.

“Talk nicer to your elders,” he calms his voice back down and then presses his finger to your nose and holds it there. you look up at him and slowly blink.

“So you’re insane?” his fingers still hangs on the tip of your nose and you could almost feel the smile radiating off of him.

“Insanely fun! Now let me go introduce you to my team- oh, there’s this big guy made of metal, he’s kinda a dick but you’ll warm up to him-” he goes on and on as you both travel together, making you want to slam your head against the window of the cab he dragged you to.

[happy74827]

Something Wholesome

[Logan Howlett & Teen!Fem!Reader]

Synopsis: In which you can’t help but feel the need to comfort the big grumpy ape.

WC: 2054

Category: Comfort, Slight Fluff, Reader is Vanessa’s Younger Sister, 4th Wall Breaks {TW: Wade Being… Well, Himself.}

Even being the worst Wolverine, I believe he still is 100% a girl dad, and I stand by that statement.

『••✎••』

"I thought you quit?"

Your voice startled him. He jumped and almost dropped the cigar he was holding between his teeth. Logan's eyes fell upon you, standing in the kitchen doorway with your arms folded.

"Jesus, kid. You're gonna give me a heart attack." He shook his head, taking the cigar out of his mouth and holding it between his fingers. It was still unlit. "How'd you get in here, anyway?"

You held up a ring of keys and shook it in the air, the jingling of metal echoing around the room. "It’s called having a brother-in-law who can pick locks." You tossed the keys on the counter and sat down across from him, resting your head in your hands. "Are you having another midlife crisis, Warrior Cat?"

"You're a brat, y’know that?" He rolled his eyes, taking the cigar and tossing it back into his jacket pocket. He ran a hand over his face, sighing.

You watched him closely. The bags under his eyes, the wrinkles, the slight hunch to his shoulders. He looked old… and not the usual, rugged, cool old. You frowned, leaning across the counter.

"You know, with Wade always around, I haven't had much time to check up on my favorite Canadian." You tilted your head to the side.

"Don't let Canuck hear you say that," he snorted. You stuck your tongue out at him, and he rolled his eyes. You could see the corners of his mouth twitching.

"Seriously, Slim Jim," The joke earned a slight scowl from him. You grinned, knowing it annoyed him when you called him that. "You look your age today. What's wrong?"

Logan stared at you, and you could almost see the gears turning in his head. He was probably wondering how much to tell you. If anything, at all.

You were used to it by now. His reluctance to talk about what was bothering him, his unwillingness to rely on anyone. It was his default, and you understood that, but after three months of sharing an apartment with blind meth-headed Trunchbull and Scary Terry, it was getting really tiring.

Finally, he sighed. "I've been thinkin'."

"Oh no." You feigned fear. He shot you a warning glare. One of those 'try me and see what happens' glares. "About what?"

He didn't answer right away. His eyes kept glancing toward the pocket his cigar was stashed in. He was struggling not to light it.

You were about to ask again, but before you could, he finally spoke up.

"I drove past the school a few days ago. It's still standing, y'know. It looks the same as it did 15 years ago." He laughed, though it sounded empty. "Abandoned, sure. But it's there."

Yeah, clearly, Disney spent all their budget on Princess remakes. A shame, really. The mansion was a good place to have movie nights.

"And it just...hit me, I guess. Everything's gone, kid." His voice grew soft, and the expression he was wearing broke your heart. "Everyone I knew, everyone I ever cared about, is dead. All I got left is this shitty apartment, a crap truck, and annoying roommates who drive me crazy."

"To be fair, I haven't had any accidents in three months," Wade called from the living room. Honestly, you weren’t even aware he was home. It was even more of a miracle that he heard Logan. "Saving the world has improved my driving skills. Now, I only hit pedestrians."

"Shut the fuck up, Wilson," Logan barked, his claws popping out of his knuckles with a snikt. "Or I'll shove those swords up your ass and make you eat 'em."

“Slow your roll, Caesar Salad; this is a PG story. Step off with the sexual violence, at least until you have the author's consent to do so." Wade turned the corner into the kitchen, a huge bag of Taco Bell in his hand. "Besides, Vanessa wouldn’t be too happy if she found out I was cheating on her with your foot long. You know how jealous she gets. One time, I tried to-"

"Wade, please," You groaned. He looked at you, then at Logan, and nodded.

"You're right, you're right. I should respect the rating." Wade waved his hand in the air and made his way out of the room, taking a bite out of one of his tacos. "Also, the fact that I’m technically a father figure in this fic, for reasons we can't disclose here. I’d rather not turn this wholesome story into some weird-ass daddy kink porno, even though I wouldn’t mind if it were."

He turned his attention to an empty wall momentarily, a smile creeping on his face. "I have a feeling you guys wouldn't either, judging by the comments on those other ones, and honestly, I don't blame you. My body is a temple, and it should be worshiped. Just ask all those Honda Odyssey rewrites. They'd know all about that, especially the ones that end with me getting-"

"WADE," You and Logan yelled at the same time, his claws still unsheathed. Logan looked ready to jump over the counter and murder him, and while it wasn’t uncommon for Wade to be shredded like string cheese, the two of you had had enough drama to last the rest of the year.

"Ugh, fine." He threw his hands up, his tacos spilling all over the floor. "But just for the record, I totally just stole the focus of this fic. Don't let Logan fool you. He's only the main character because this is his story, but the real star of the show is moi." He pointed a finger to his chest and winked at you. You couldn't help but laugh.

"Get the fuck outta here," Logan said, his claws sliding back into his knuckles. "I swear to god, Wilson, if you ruin my day any more than you already have, I'm gonna shove you into the wood chipper."

"You have a wood chipper?" Wade raised an eyebrow, grinning. "My, oh, my. Who would have thought the lumberjack would make a reappearance?"

"Five. Four. Three. Two. One," You muttered.

"Don't push me, asshole." Logan was growling, his claws once again threatening to slice into the other man.

A normal person would have run away by now, but not Wade. You had known him long enough to understand that he thrived off of conflict. He was the most chaotic son of a bitch you had ever met, and nothing excited him more than pissing people off.

But, again, this wasn’t his story. He was just hijacking it, and the author had had enough. So, without further ado, they did the most logical thing. They made Mary Puppins appear, and suddenly, she was in his arms, and he was out of the kitchen, leaving behind the Taco Bell, his jokes, and his dignity.

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, trying not to laugh. You managed to contain it, but just barely.

You glanced over at Logan, and he still had a look on his face like he was drained and exhausted. Of course, now annoyance and anger were mixed into the cocktail.

With your sister’s boyfriend out of the picture, he slumped down against the counter, running a hand through his hair. Not much of it, given the current length, but enough that he could pull at it.

"I'm sorry," You said. You felt a pang of sympathy for him, and you couldn't imagine the shitstorm that must be going on in his mind. After all, he wasn't like the rest of you. He was a lot older, and his life had been filled with a lot more heartache and pain than you would ever experience. "It sucks."

He didn't say anything, so you continued.

"I mean, I don't know what it's like, obviously, but I can't imagine how it must feel to lose everything like that. Everyone." You paused, thinking about your family. Your own life hadn't exactly been a picnic, but the world hadn't come crashing down around you. Not yet, at least. "I can't imagine the kind of strength you must have to go on."

He grunted, which was pretty much the Logan version of a 'Thank you.'

"I just..." His voice was quiet. "I just want something permanent. That’s not this." He motioned to the room around you, and you couldn't help but notice the look in his eyes.

"I get it."

"I don't think you do, kid," he muttered, staring at his feet.

"Hey, give me a little credit. I might not be ancient like you, but I've seen some shit. Wade is infatuated with Nessie, so I go through that bullshit every other day." You shook your head. "The two of them can be a real handful together."

"No kiddin'." He snorted.

"I mean, sure. The world went to hell, but I think it's pretty safe to say that you deserve something good after all the crap that's happened." You shrugged, looking around the room. "This is that something."

He stared at you for a long moment, and you wondered if you said something wrong. Speaking to him was always a gamble. Sometimes, he would respond, and the two of you could actually hold a conversation. Other times, he would shut down and refuse to talk, or worse, yell at you.

It seemed like luck was on your side today.

"Maybe." His eyes moved to his hands, and his gaze was distant. "It's hard to think that when I'm stuck in this hell hole."

"It's not that bad."

"You’re just saying that so Wilson doesn’t think about moving back in with your sister." He rolled his eyes. "And it is. We all know that."

"Okay, fine, you're right. The apartment is shitty, and so is the neighborhood. The landlord is a bitch, and the neighbors are loud." You took a breath, leaning closer. "But, you have us."

"Oh, don't you start."

"And you've got your truck and your liquor and the crappy TV in the living room. I say, if that isn't permanent, I don't know what is."

Logan opened his mouth, but you held a finger up.

"You might not realize it, but you have a family here." You smiled at him, and he scoffed, turning his face away from you.

"I've had families before. Doesn't work out."

"Well, we're of the more persistent kind," you teased, reaching across the counter and punching him lightly on the shoulder. "We aren't going anywhere. Especially Wade. Man is a tick that refuses to let go."

"God, I wish he would."

"He won't. You're stuck with him. You’ll be the best man at his wedding, and we both know it." You grinned, and he rolled his eyes, though the corner of his lips quirked.

"Great," he muttered.

Secretly, you knew he enjoyed the banter with Wade. He acted annoyed and irritated, but deep down, you were certain he was amused. Might be frustrated, but definitely amused.

You were about to tell him that, but he spoke first.

"Thanks, kid." He reached across the counter and squeezed your arm. "You're a pain in the ass, but you're not so bad."

"Not so bad?" You snorted. "Wow. Is that how the Wolverine slid into the hearts of millions?"

He chuckled and shook his head, a smile spreading across his face. "You know what I mean, you brat."

You stood, walking around the counter. You threw your arms around him and pulled him into a hug. He didn’t hug back for reasons that you understood. Still, you wanted him to know that you were there for him and he could rely on you.

"You know," you started. "I think a lot of people would be surprised by the softy you are under all the grumpiness."

"Yeah, well, don't go around spreadin' that." He pushed you away gently, shaking his head. "I’m not a damn teddy bear, and I'll rip your throat out if you start tellin' people."

"I’m getting the Wade treatment? A threat of death if I speak a word?" You laughed, shaking your head. "I’m honored."

"Sometimes I wonder if he is your sibling instead of your sister."

"Nah, I’m too pretty to be a Wilson." You smirked. "If anything, I'm more related to my cousin."

"The one who tried to kill you last month?"

"That's the one."

"Then you definitely are a Wilson."

[brainrotcharacters]

"His little pet Wolverine."

"Tell me somethin'. Are you pissy because I left, or because I'm with him now?"