#platonic Twisted Wonderland

[inuiiwonderland]

Hewwo :3 sooo I was wondering if you wouldn't mind writing hcs for the characters' reaction to reader(MC) being a 10-12 year old girl?? Like a slightly bratty, but endearing and energetic type. Think preppy Sephora girl💀 that would be super great, don't push urself tho💚

Twst characters with a 12 y/o Mc!

A/n: Hellooo! So sorry for the wait but here it is! You didn’t tell me which characters so I hope you don’t mind about the ones that I picked!🤍

Characters: Vil, Ace, And riddle!

Platonic! Twst x fem!reader

-

Vil Schoenheit

“Aren’t you too young to be wearing that?” “And aren’t you too old to be wearing that ton of makeup?”

Yeah vil didn’t like the slight attitude you had when you two first met.

But after getting to know you better during the VDC and after his overblot, you two became good buddies.

He treats you like a little sibling so just know that he will check up on you every now and then. (Especially if you’re out with the first year gang, he doesn’t want you to get in trouble or worse, hurt)

Will scold you from time to time when you act slightly bratty to him or anyone else. He can’t have you acting like that to anyone and will make sure you are respectful.(If it’s neige though…he might encourage you from the sidelines…)

Definitely will take you out to buy some clothes. Seriously headmage, how can you have a young child running around with used up/torn clothes? The media will for sure have a field day with this if they were to find out.

Shows you how to do make up. BUT, he still thinks you’re too young to be wearing it so he will only do it when he wants to experiment or when you want to take pictures together. (Which will only be light makeup)

Has rook look after you when he’s too busy to do it himself. You are a magic less girl from an unknown world so of course he’s going to be scared for your safety.

Makes sure you are stocked up with sanitary products. Big brother vil will make sure you are doing alright and have everything you need.

Girls night after a long day or exam week!

Tries not to post you too much on his magicam. He either posts you on close friends OR has a secret magicam account that only his close friends + you know about. He can’t have you being bothered by paparazzi or crazy obsessive fans.

Ace trappola

“Whose annoying little sister is this?” “Whose dumb son is this?”

Yeah…you and ace did not get along at first.

The two of you cannot go a second without arguing with one another about random stuff.

But after some time. The two of you get close and tada! You now have an annoying protective older brother ready to fight anyone who dares to insult/hurt you!

You two are a NIGHTMARE when you guys are together.

You guys will tease and make fun of people when the two of you are together.

PRANKS. DEAR LORD THE FREAKING PRANKS.

Poor deuce is a victim because of all the pranks you and ace pulled on him.

You guys both got collared by riddle this one time because the two of you decided it was going to be a good idea to switch riddles shampoo with pink hair dye.

He’s the type to literally burp or fart on you when you’re trying to do homework or just scrolling through twisttok.

Like it’s not even funny but HE thinks it’s the most hilarious thing in all of twisted wonderland.

And you think it’s the most annoying and disgusting thing ever.

Shares his snacks with you but starts complaining the moment the others asks for some.

He always makes sure you are safe when you guys are facing another overblot.

Invites you to his games and always brags about how awesome and cool he is. (Typical older brother behavior)

Will steal your snacks when you are not looking. Hey! He shares his food with you so it’s only fair you do the same.

Movies Nights with the first year gang is a must! Will literally laugh and record you as you scream and jump at every jump scare the movie has. (You always smack or throw a pillow at him. Demanding for him to delete it)

You force him to wear face masks and have a girls night with you. Will complain and whine but stills does it anyway to make you happy.

Riddle Roseheart

“Excuse me but that was very rude of you” “Eh? Why is a child trying to scold me”

Instant collar

Riddle will not tolerate such behavior and disrespect. Especially from a child!

Will take some time for him to warm up to you.

The constant rule breaking and the talk back was enough to turn him red and collar you every chance he gets.

But once he starts warming up to you, he stops and starts to treat you like a little sister.

You also stop with the rule breaking and the talk back. (Welll you stopped talking back and you TRY not to break as many rules)

Will help you study for any upcoming test or exams.

He can’t have you failing and having poor grades. So you better thank him for the good grades you currently have.

Invites you to unbirthday parties.

You for some reason love painting the roses red. So when you’re over at heartsalbyul, you help with painting the roses.

You wanted to make riddle happy so you spent a whole month learning the 810 rules of the Queen of hearts to make him happy.

And boy was he happy

Literally almost shed tears of happiness

Ace should learn a thing or two from you

Buys you cute tea cup sets! And also tried baking a tart for you with the help of Trey. (It turned out alright!)

Also protective of you

Gets mad when Crowley has you running around doing errands for him which he can clearly do HIMSELF.

You give him a heart attack every time you are out with the first year gang. He has both ace and deuce promise him nothing bad will happen to you when you are out with them. Or else it will be an instant collar.

Let’s you play and help him take care of the hedgehogs

-

A/n: This was so fun to write! Sorry if some are ooc🥲

[plzkillmesworld]

I don't know how to request stuff very well but I wanted to have a Platonic Twisted Wonderland boys (+staff) with a reader who doesn't like the way that most of their body looks because I don't like a lot of things with my appearance and the bois are my comfort but not romantically (taken and gay lol)

❗Self hate, mentioned Ed, body hate❗

Riddle, Leona, Kalim, and Sam

Riddle sees you as a little sister figure, and takes care to keep his emotions in check because he doesn't want to hurt his little sister

Riddle is dumbfounded when he finds out, how could you think of yourself like that. He only takes things he thinks are perfect or extraordinary because of his mother.

For you to say that you hate your appearance will make him step up and grab your cheeks, forcing you to look at him.

"You are like a little sister to me and let me tell you one thing, you are beautiful and if you don't believe it than tough, I never lie." Or something along those lines

Will look for tricks to help you look prettier to yourself but will probably leave that to Cater. He might even paint his nails with you and let his guard down, who knows

The reason Leona is so protective of you is because you are his family. His niece to be exact. He likes you more than anyone else in the family and so you look up to him the most

When you tell him that you hate the way you look at first he thinks your joking until he sees your eyes

Unshed tears that reminds him of when you were a younger cub and when he was a cub so he'll sit with you and allow you to explain to him - what don't you like

"Little cub, I am here and that is all that matters, your heart is better than your looks anyways. People who are too pretty annoy me." Something like that. Extra points if he makes you laugh.

But he Will start working out with you (so you don't hurt yourself or lose motivation) and will do your hair every day

Kalim is your best friend and partner in crime, often stealing away treats Jamil makes from the kitchens, so hearing you say that you don't like the way you look will cause him to start sobbing.

He is so nice too because he just wants to know what you don't like. Protect the sweet potato

"What?! I think your beautiful though! You are, and the rain in your head is messing with you! I will convince you that you are pretty!" (I like thinking he calls negative thoughts rain) Saying something like that

Will ask Jamil for help 100%

⚠ Mentioned Ed and thought of Ed ⚠

Your just his favorite imp that comes by the shop all the time, so it's a friendly, familiar relationship between a student and teacher

His friends on the other side told him about the whole thing and how you thought about starving yourself to lose weight.

He approached you immediately and told you he knew. You cried instantly saying that you needed to lose weight.

"My favorite imp, not like that. We can talk to Vargas about exercises for your body type. Just...please...don't starve yourself." I feel like he would offer you a different option to lose weight - even if you are in a healthy weight range - to burn fat.

[haeoflii]

NERD VS GEEK EPIC HYPERFIXATION BATTLE! FIGHT!!

(click for better quality)

After a heated battle of pure yapping, unnecessary sculpting history and badly re-enacted Batman scenes, the battle ends in a tie cause they're both losers

[kabumisun]

read left - > right

she ace on my trap til i pola

[kandlewick]

ace trappola has a problem.

ace knows that when compared to The malleus draconia, there's really no reason for you to pick him as a partner. being your best friend, he tells himself, is just as good.

its not.

but its whatever! who cares! ace would much rather be able to hang out with you than to risk it and ruin your friendship with a lame confession. besides, he sees the way malleus looks at you and even if it twists this way and that in his chest at the sight, he still knows that a prince was the only right answer.

malleus draconia has a problem. he knows that when compared to The ace trappola, there's really no reason to pick him as a best friend. malleus is not as well versed in what humans are interested in and despite the late night walks and quiet conversations, malleus knows that the heartslabyul duo, specifically trappola, are deserving of the "best friend" title. maybe being just a friend would be enough for malleus?

it wasn't.

unbeknownst to a lot of people, malleus was selfish. it wasn't usually a trait he showed but it was more obvious when he hung out with you. in his excitement to finally have company other than those he considered family, he tended to strong arm conversations. could you blame him? he never once before had someone to discuss at length the things he was interested in and you were just so curious about everything in this world that you would let him ramble on for hours about this and that.

but alas, he still wasn't your best friend.

so malleus came up with a plan. he would set you and trappola together. a boyfriend was a whole new title and in the absence of a "best friend" malleus could swoop in and claim his rightful spot by your side. as the best friend.

yes, malleus most certainly liked this idea.

deuce was just along for the ride.

[helena-and-helena-meta]

Not me writing something no one asked for. Anyways, the Mc/reader isn't an adult, but they are originally from the modern world. The MC has a sibling/sisterly bond with the Tempesta girls. This is also all platonic.

As you sleep with Grim curled by your side, thousands of memories swirl through through you mind. One memory in particular repeats itself, the last thing you recall before arriving to the Twisted Wonderland.

In your memory, you sit by the window in you quarters on the Great Royal Fortune, the very name of the sailing frigate amuses you due to Royal Fortune naming said ship after herself. The words of said brunette-haired pirate wishing you a good night as she retreated to her own room echo in your mind. Footsteps slowly approach your door, just before you could stand, the wooden door creaks open allowing a familiar blue-haired ghost ship in.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now, MC."

You look to Mary Celeste, wondering why she's up. Mary seems to sense your confusion, she smiles softly.

"Nightmares have been keeping me up lately. I... Well, you know me and fire don't mix well."

Mary sighs, you quickly respond,

"I see, are you alright?"

You tilt your head slightly, Mary softly smiles and nods.

"Yeah... Sometimes I forget I'm a seaborne ghost and not just a ship. I may be old compared to you, but those scars are still very young."

Mary speaks, the emotions in her eyes reflecting the turmoil within her mind. You decide to tell her why you weren't sleeping.

"I couldn't sleep either, the storm we went through while fighting the Si- I mean, the Echo Fleet has me on edge. I thought I'd count the stars to try and fall asleep, just like counting sheep."

Mary softly chuckles at your words, she leaves your quarters for a few moments leaving you confused. The ghost ship returns quickly with a small and light wooden chair, most likely from her quarters.

"Mind if I join you?"

You nod as Mary hands you the blanket off your bed to ensure your body isn't chilled by her ghostly presence. You wrap your blanket around your shoulders as Mary soon sits beside you, the two of you counting stars together until you slip into a peaceful slumber, Mary having fallen asleep a few minutes after sitting down with you.

Every part of you misses the chaos, small fights, and joy aboard the Great Royal Fortune. Mary chasing Whydah around, Adventure Galley being her grumpy self, São Martinho watching the waves for danger, Golden Hind making new business plans, and Royal Fortune cheerfully talking your ear off while happily guiding the large sailing frigate through the vast ocean.

Before you can reminisce any further, you feel something poking and prodding at your face, and Grim's voice soon echoing throughout the room.

"Hench-human! Wake up! You have to feed me my tuna! I don't want to go to school without food. I won't become the greatest mage on an empty stomach!"

Grim yowls as you slowly awaken, softly yawning.

"I know, I know... I'm awake, Grim. Let me get changed and I'll feed you."

You reply as Grim rushes to the kitchen. You soon begin changing into your school, but you pause when you see something in the pants pocket of your old clothes, the clothing you were wearing when you arrived to Twisted Wonderland.

You reach your hand into the pocket and pull out the golden compass Royal Fortune had given you, the very item brings back both good and bad memories. You place the compass down to finish changing into your uniform, as soon as your finished you place the small object into your pocket and head to the kitchen where Grim is waiting impatiently.

[un-fwuit-un-fwog]

The Rain is Especially Loud Tonight

Synopsis: The Prefect gets hurt due to Crowley's negligence.

TW: Injury, Stitches, Medical Stuff, Prefect gets caught under a collapsed Ramshackle

Part 1 (here), Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 (coming soon)

Tick Tick Tick Tick

The room would be completely silent were it not for the ticking of the clock on the wall.

The environment was more comfortable than your usual medical setting, but it still felt cold in a way.

The door creaked open and in stepped professor Crewel. "Hey, Pup." His voice lacked its usual stern tone one would hear in the classroom; instead, his voice was gentle and almost hoarse.

The hoarseness was no doubt a result of him screaming at the headmage in a roar you shiver even recalling. He had spent hours tearing into the man for his gross negligence and irresponsibility.

"Pup?" His voice became more worried when you failed to answer.

"Sorry." A meek, rasped voice leaves you throat. Your throat burns with dryness despite the 6 glasses of water you already drank, and it feels like every syllable echoes through your head and causes an intense, throbbing pain. You don't recognize the voice that claws its way out of your throat as your own.

You hear the soft scrape of a chair on the floor next to your bed. "No. Don't apologize, Pup." Rocking your gaze slowly over to him its clear to you, with the way his jaw clenches and unclenches while his eyes search the blanket covering you, that he wants to say something, but isn't sure what.

You slowly rock your head to look forward again. "Everyone's been in such a panic. . .and it's my fault, I-"

The man cuts you off as you choke on your words: "Pup. This is not your fault."

"But-" Your throat feels like its been given a massage with a thousand razor blades. The coughing your attempts to speak cause only make the pain worse.

Crewel quickly grabs another glass of water and holds it up to your lips for you to drink. "But nothing, Pup- Keep those arms down or you'll re-open the wounds. That old building was bound to collapse at some point. We all knew it. If the fault is on anyone it's on us staff. Crowley made you stay there, and we didn't stop him." The glass cup clinks slightly too harshly onto the nightstand as he sets it down.

Silence falls between the two of you.

Tick Tick Tick Tick

The ticking of the clock numbs your thoughts. You force your mind to stop focusing on the pain radiating from every inch of your body and instead listen to the steady ticking of the clock. The only other sound that can be herd is the occasional hurried footsteps outside the door as the other staff do their best to take care of the situation.

Your injuries have already been treated by a specialty team sent from STYX the moment the news got to them. They were the only ones aside from Grim, Leona, and the staff that had seen your mangled form before you were wrapped up like a mummy. You didn't have to ask how bad it was. Seeing Crowley throw up at the sight of you was enough to tell you it was bad.

The STYX team had spent nearly a whole 24 hours stitching you back together like some ragdoll and rearranging the many pieces of you that had been ripped and jostled out of place. If not for them. . .well, you don't want to think about it. If you looked like a mummy on the outside, you were sure that under the bandages you looked like Frankenstein's monster. There really wasn't a single bit of you that got out of that death trap unscathed.

You were kept in the school infirmary instead of being carted off to some high-tech STYX facility only because they needed to operate on you as soon as possible and didn't want to move you too much after the initial procedures. They made do by shipping a ton (literally speaking, more like 3 tons) of medical equipment to the school, most of which was now littered around the infirmary in a rushed yet professional way.

Despite your closeness to your friends, the only people who had come to see you were the staff. It's not that none of your friends wanted to see you, but that they weren't allowed to. The doctor's worried having them in so soon, when they were still full of hysteria from the news, wouldn't be the best idea. They weren't able to text you either as your phone had been crushed in the collapse.

"How's Grim?"

Professor Crewel hums: "Physically, he's pretty unscathed. He just has a few scrapes and bruises. Mentally, he's a bit traumatized."

You supposed that made sense. You didn't remember much, but what you did remember was Grim's voice. He had been returning to the dorm from after school detention when he found the building in shambles on the ground. He called out to you but your lungs were filled with debris and your torso was being crushed by layers of rubble. The dorm ghosts met Grim at the edge of the junk pile that used to be a dorm and confirmed that you were inside and that you needed help. The ghosts talked to you as you laid there, not being able to physically move anything off you themselves. They kept you awake and assured you that Grim was getting help.

Not long later you heard shouting. Two of the ghosts stayed with you while the third went out to meet the staff and fill them in. You were told after the fact that that's about the time they called up Leona to use his unique magic so they could get you out as soon as possible (that was the first time many saw the lion run).

You were blanking in and out of consciousness when they found you, but you remember them finding you. The feeling of the weight of the rubble lessening as it was methodically turned to sand and removed (in order to not end up crushing you with sand instead), the small grains dripping on your face, and eventually, the full force of the pouring rain battering your face as the last of the rubble was removed from above you. You remember Leona's manic eyes turning horrified, Crowley puking, and worst of all, Grim's face.

"STYX sent over a few trauma counselors. There are ones assigned specifically to Leona and Grim as well since they saw some of the worst of it." Crewel finally broke the silence again.

"And you? You and. . .the other teachers were there too. . .and Sam."

"Calm down, Pup. We've all had evaluations done to assess how we're handling it. We'll be fine.

"What about. . ." Your voice trails off, but from the look in your eyes, Crewel can tell what you were about to ask.

"What about the headmage?"

You nod, wincing slightly when the motion disturbs an injury on your neck.

"He's under investigation." Crewel responds after a brief pause. He knew that you surely couldn't be all that fond of the crow, but as you saw it, he was probably also your only ticket home. Crewel looked up to gauge your response, but your face remained neutral.

"And you, Pup? I obviously know you aren't doing particularly well physically right now, but what about mentally?"

"Hm?"

Crewel hesitated, not wanting to dig around in a mental wound and make it worse, "You were. . .under there for a while. I'm sure it must've been. . .scary."

You think for a moment before responding: "Was I really under there that long? It didn't feel like it. . .I think I passed out a few times." Your mumbled words put Crewel at ease in a way. He's not happy that you had been passing out, but he was at least glad that you weren't stuck under there fully conscious and feeling every second tick by as if it were an hour.

"Hmm. I see." Crewel nods. "I ought to let you rest now. A counselor will stop by tomorrow to talk to you about what happened." He stands up as he says this, his knuckles still white from how tightly he'd been gripping the fabric of his pants. "Rest well, Pup."

You simply nod, this time more carefully as to not disturb your wounds, and watch him walk out. When the door closes you swear you hear a choked sob.

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[hanafubukki]

“Time always passes by much too quickly. It won’t be long before these days turn into nothing but memories to reminisce about.”

“A parent must ensure their child can handle such harshness while the little one is still under their protection."

"I am HIS guardian."

"Ahh, I still remember the days when Malleus wept because he couldn't dress himself..."

"We may not be related by blood, but we ARE family. Right?"

"When he was an infant, he would sometimes emit puffs of flame when he fussed."

"He even singed my bangs once. Khee hee... That takes me back."

"I was most impressed that he managed to harm me, even if it was only my hair. That night, I raised a glass of tomato juice in his honor."

“Dragon eggs can only be hatched by their parents' magic and affection-nothing less than true love!”

“You'd better not go towards any twinkling lights you see, Malleus.”

“Baur said you'd return to the stars before much longer, but here you are, still kicking. That's a good boy.”

“You know, Malleus... l've got a lot I want to show you once you're born.”

“Go to sleep, go to sleep, little darling...And may your dreams guide you to the light...”

"I haven't gotten so soft...as to let this get the best of me..."

"*huff, huff* Okay, Malleus. What do you want to do next?"

"I can do this all day. All century. I could go another two centuries, even..."

"If that's what it takes to wear you down and get you out of that egg..."

"I'll play, and play, and play as rough as you want!"

"Oh, little Malleus... I'm so glad I finally get to meet you."

Thank you for being born, Malleus Draconia.🐉💚

Thank you for your love, Lilia Vanrouge.🦇🩷

[riddlerosehearts]

can't stop brainrotting over trey and riddle's dynamic, now i'm thinking about the fact that in the manga riddle's mother physically recoils and pulls her hand away instead of comforting him when he's in distress but it's trey taking riddle's hand that's the key to pulling him out of his overblot state. and then in the novel's version of that same scene riddle hears someone calling out to him "so gently, so desperately, so indiscreetly" and wishes that it would be his mother but it's actually trey who's offering him that gentle, unconditional love and comfort.

[twstyuna]

Intrusive thought

Maybe epilogue to this lol.

[twisted-deal]

They're bound to run out of good board games at soMe point

[random-twst-things]

*Napping somewhere in the botanical garden*

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Hey, I had a dream about you last night

Leona: Really?

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Yep

Leona: What was I wearing?

Mc/Y/N/Yuu, shrugging: Nothing

Leona: I was butt ass naked in your dream? 🤨

Leona: you've never even seen my butt ass naked, how'd you- you better not be influenced by Rook

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: No, I mean like nothing special

Leona: ...

Mc/Y/N/Yuu, looking at him up and down (especially his Jesus sandals): you lack drip expeditiously my guy 😐

Leona: As if you're any better with those rags

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Yea, but here's the thing, these are school uniform hand-me-downs, and I'm poor. You're royalty and rich, yet you still choose to look the way you do? 🤨

Leona, frowning: ...Go back to sleep

Dividers from/by: @/cafekitsune

[solxamber]

Had the thought of "Malleus helps the prefect with their crush on a NRC student by suggesting fae courtship advice" and realized how funny it sounded but I cannot for the life of me write. So I skitter to you

So! Maybe a request of Malleus listening to how his beloved little friend has a crush on azul or idia whoever you choose, and is too anxious of rejection to ask them out, but he tries his best to help, however he most likely has no idea on human courtship, so ends up giving reader advice that mostly correlates with fae courtship rituals, maybe with Lilia helping out somewhat with advice he knows would work better for humans and maybe it can be a fem or gn reader?/lh

Fae Courtship 101: Romance Gone Wrong || Idia Shroud

In your desperation to confess your feelings to Idia, you've recruited Malleus to help you. Except his help is mildly concerning at best and extremely alarming at worst.

a/n: so sorry for the extremely long wait, i hope you like it <3

You were deep in super hell.

Not just any hell—ultra-max difficulty hell with a boss fight at the end. Why? Because you were hopelessly, embarrassingly smitten with Idia Shroud. Every time he so much as muttered a sarcastic comment under his breath, your brain turned into static noise and you felt like you were pulling on a gacha with a rate up of 0.000001%.

Which is why, when Malleus Draconia suddenly appeared in the middle of Ramshackle like a fae bat signal, you didn’t even blink. You were too far gone. You just flung yourself onto the couch and unleashed your woes like a possessed infomercial host.

“HE’S TOO CUTE,” you screamed into a throw pillow. “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. HIS HAIR GLOWS, MALLEUS. HIS. HAIR. GLOWS.”

Malleus, who had been standing ominously in the corner like a living gargoyle, tilted his head. “This sounds… grave.”

“IT IS,” you wailed. “Every time I see him, I want to just—ugh, I don’t know—hand him a limited-edition figure and tell him he’s my forever player two! But then I don’t because my brain decides to blue-screen instead! I’m a romantic coward!”

“Curious,” Malleus murmured.

You sat up, clutching the pillow like a lifeline. “Do you even know how bad it is? The other day, he tripped over his own shoelace and I almost confessed right then and there! I can’t keep living like this!”

Malleus’s glowing eyes narrowed in what could only be described as dramatic princely determination. “Say no more, child of man.”

You blinked. “Huh?”

“I shall aid you in this endeavor,” he announced, placing a hand over his chest like he was about to duel a dragon in your honor. “You have my solemn vow that your courtship will succeed.”

You blinked again, the words taking a few extra seconds to register. “Wait. What?”

“I have centuries of experience in matters of the heart,” Malleus declared with a completely straight face.

“You do?” you asked, very reasonably skeptical because the only “courtship” you could imagine him doing was with a gargoyle in a medieval tapestry.

“Indeed,” he continued, undeterred by your blatant disbelief. “Shroud will recognize your worth once we present him with a grand gesture of affection.”

“…Define ‘grand gesture,’” you said, suddenly wary.

“A trophy of unparalleled rarity,” Malleus suggested with the confidence of someone who had definitely never bought a gift before. “Or perhaps a demonstration of your magical prowess. You are quite skilled at… surviving near-death experiences, are you not?”

“That’s not a talent!” you yelped.

He ignored you, his enthusiasm building like a storm. “Yes. I shall teach you the ancient fae techniques of courtship. You shall sweep Shroud off his feet.”

You buried your face in your hands. “This is going to end in a lawsuit.”

“Nonsense,” Malleus said firmly. “It will end in love.”

You weren’t sure whether to cry, laugh, or start writing your will.

You stared at the piece of paper in your hand like it had personally wronged you. Because, honestly, it had.

Malleus was perched regally on your couch, sipping tea like this wasn’t entirely his fault. “This poem,” he said, voice brimming with pride, “will surely capture Idia Shroud’s heart. It is both heartfelt and… inventive.”

“It’s terrible,” you muttered, waving the paper at him. “It sounds like a rejected NPC dialogue option.”

“Nonsense,” Malleus replied, unbothered. “It is a masterpiece of raw emotion. Shall I read it to you again?”

“No!” you said, alarmed. “I still haven’t recovered from the first time!”

It had been a mess. Rhyming “gamer” with “flamer,” shoehorning in “Player Two,” and an overly dramatic stanza about “lighting up the dark like a 5-star pull.” It sounded like a bad RPG side quest.

“I can’t give this to him,” you whined. “He’ll think I wrote it drunk.”

Malleus, ever unshaken, tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Then I shall present it to him on your behalf. I am an excellent orator.”

Your brain lagged. “You what?!”

Before you could stop him, Malleus plucked the poem from your hands and practically glided out the door. You ran after him, panic bubbling in your chest.

You caught up to him just as he cornered Idia in the library. Poor Idia looked like he was questioning every life choice that had led him here.

“Child of man,” Malleus said gravely, holding the poem like it was an ancient scroll. “Your heart has crafted a most wondrous ode to Idia Shroud. Allow me to deliver your words of passion.”

“No. Nope. Nope,” you interrupted, lunging forward.

But Malleus had already begun. “To the one whose hair glows like—”

You didn’t let him finish. Instinct took over. You snatched the paper out of his hand and, in one smooth motion, ate it.

Idia blinked. Then blinked again. “…Did you just eat paper?”

You gagged but managed to choke it down, wiping your mouth with as much dignity as you could muster. “Yup. Totally. Don’t even worry about it.”

Malleus looked genuinely offended. “Why would you consume such a heartfelt creation?”

“Because it was awful,” you hissed, yanking him by the sleeve.

Meanwhile, Idia just stood there, watching this unhinged disaster unfold. He glanced at Malleus, then at you, then at the faint sheen of sweat on your forehead. “Man,” he mumbled, “I should’ve just stayed in my room.”

Malleus stood in the middle of Ramshackle’s living room, radiating regal confidence and possibly a bit too much enthusiasm for someone whose advice had caused you to eat a poem in front of your crush just two days prior.

“I have considered our previous efforts,” Malleus began, pacing dramatically, “and I believe it is time to enact a traditional fae courtship ritual.”

You squinted at him from your spot on the couch. “Define ‘traditional.’”

Malleus clasped his hands behind his back. “It is quite simple. You must leave a series of carefully chosen gifts for Idia to discover. Each one should symbolize your intentions, culminating in an offer of eternal devotion.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you said cautiously. “What kind of gifts are we talking about?”

Malleus turned to you, his expression far too serious. “The first gift must be a bouquet of midnight roses—each petal dipped in the dew of the first frost. The second, a vial of your own tears, to show vulnerability. And the third, a token of your affection, forged in moonlit flames.”

You stared at him, horrified. “Malleus, I don’t know how to say this politely, but… are you nuts?!”

He frowned, clearly confused. “Is this not how humans express their love?”

“No!” you exclaimed. “Nobody’s out here crying into vials or setting up romantic blacksmith sessions!”

Malleus waved a hand dismissively. “Nonsense. It is a noble and time-honored method. Come, I will assist you.”

Step 1: Midnight Roses

Somehow, you found yourself sneaking into the Botanical Gardens late at night with Malleus, who had insisted on conjuring the “perfect” roses.

“These roses will shine with a light so soft, it will illuminate your sincerity,” he said as he gestured dramatically.

A small explosion followed.

When the smoke cleared, you were holding a bouquet of roses that were glowing like neon signs. “Malleus, these look radioactive. Are you trying to confess or give him superpowers?”

He looked affronted. “Their brilliance reflects your ardor!”

Your ardor looked like it would set off a Geiger counter.

Step 2: The Vial of Tears

“Now, you must cry into this vial,” Malleus instructed, handing you what looked like a fancy perfume bottle.

“Do you hear yourself?” you asked, utterly baffled.

“Think of your love for Shroud,” he said. “Surely the emotion will move you to tears.”

You tried. You really did. But after five minutes of sitting there awkwardly, all you had to offer was a single, pathetic sniffle.

“Perhaps I should assist,” Malleus said, reaching out. “Do you require a tragic tale? A dramatic betrayal?”

“No! Absolutely not!” you snapped, shoving the bottle back at him. “I am not sobbing into a vial for anyone!”

Step 3: The Moonlit Token

The final step involved an actual fire pit behind Ramshackle because, according to Malleus, the moonlit flames were essential.

“I shall forge your token,” Malleus declared, summoning a small inferno that nearly took out the lawn.

When the smoke cleared, you held a jagged piece of metal that looked like it was ripped off an air conditioning unit.

“What is this supposed to be?” you asked flatly.

“A medallion,” Malleus said proudly.

“It looks like I pulled it out of a scrap heap!”

You delivered the “gifts” to Idia during a moment of sheer madness, mostly because Malleus had already enchanted the roses to literally float behind you, and they weren’t going anywhere.

Idia opened his door and froze. His hair immediately flickered pink as he stared at you, the bouquet, the medallion, and—was that a perfume bottle?

“What… is happening right now?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“It’s—uh—fae courtship stuff?” you mumbled, trying to shove the glowing bouquet into his hands.

The roses sparked.

“Oh my god, is this thing going to explode?!” Idia yelped, throwing them across the room.

You panicked and shoved the medallion forward. “Here! It’s—it’s a token of my affection?”

Idia stared at the jagged metal piece. “Did you… dig this out of a junkyard?”

“NO!”

Finally, you shoved the vial of “tears” at him. Idia took one look at it, his face a mixture of disbelief and growing alarm.

“Did you just hand me a potion ingredient?!”

At this point, you were ready to die. Before you could explain yourself, Idia closed the door and slid down to the floor on the other side, clutching his heart.

“Fae Courtship...they like me,” he whispered, his hair a vibrant pink. “They're insane, but they like me.”

Meanwhile, you turned to Malleus outside Ramshackle, utterly mortified.

“I hate you,” you groaned.

Malleus only smiled. “An absolute success.”

Malleus was once again pacing in Ramshackle’s living room like a Victorian gentleman trying to solve the case of your disastrously one-sided love life.

“Here is what we shall do,” he said, hands clasped and gaze intense. “You will prepare a ceremonial feast. Cook for him using ingredients that symbolize your intentions. Lavender for devotion, honey for sweetness, and”—he paused dramatically—“a pheasant roasted under the light of the full moon. You must present it to him on a silver platter while reciting your feelings in the Fae tongue.”

You blinked. “Malleus. Where in Twisted Wonderland am I supposed to find a pheasant?!”

He looked mildly offended. “Surely you can catch one. Do you not have traps?”

“I live in Ramshackle, not the woods!” you snapped. “Also, I think Idia would keel over if I walked in with a roasted bird and started chanting in Fae.”

Malleus sighed. “Child of man, your lack of commitment is concerning.”

Before you could argue, Lilia materialized from who knows where with his usual mischievous grin. “Oh, don’t stop on my account,” he drawled. “This is incredibly entertaining.”

You glared at him. “Lilia, I’m in emotional distress, not a soap opera.”

“Exactly why I’m here,” Lilia said, flopping into a chair. “Malleus, your suggestions are delightful, but I’d prefer not to have Idia hospitalized from sheer terror. Allow me to offer some… balance.”

Malleus frowned. “Balance?”

“Yes,” Lilia said. “Like suggesting something sane, such as gifting him a rare figurine from one of his favorite animes. It’s thoughtful, meaningful, and most importantly, won’t require a midnight hunt.”

You thought getting a figurine would be easy. You were wrong.

You tried everything:

Azul offered to get it—if you signed a contract that basically gave him first claim on your future firstborn.

Ruggie smugly said he could “procure” it but asked for a kidney as collateral.

Just when you were about to accept your fate as figurine-less, Kalim swooped in like the sunshine prince he is, offering to buy it outright with his seemingly infinite wealth. “You want it? I’ll get it! It’ll be fun!” You could’ve cried.

Bless Kalim and his endless generosity.

When you finally gave the figurine to Idia, you were an exhausted wreck. It had taken days, multiple negotiations, and at least one near-death experience (Ruggie’s "payment terms" were aggressive).

Idia stared at the box, then at you, then back at the box. His hair flickered pink as his mind tried to process the situation.

“Is this—?” he started, his voice cracking.

You nodded. “It’s that limited-edition one you mentioned.”

Idia froze, clutching the box like it was the Holy Grail. “H-how did you even afford this?!” he stammered. “No offense, but have you seen Ramshackle?!”

“Bye!” you squeaked, panicking and bolting out the door before he could say anything else.

Malleus, watching you sprint away from Ignihyde like a spooked animal, nodded sagely. “Another success.”

Lilia shook his head, cackling. “If nothing else, this is fantastic entertainment.”

Meanwhile, back in his room, Idia sat on the floor, staring at the figurine. His hair was a fiery pink as his brain short-circuited.

“They remembered,” he whispered. “They actually remembered…”

Ortho popped into the room. “Big Brother, are you okay? Your vitals are—”

“LEAVE ME TO DIE IN PEACE!” Idia shrieked, clutching the figurine like a lifeline.

It was safe to say the figurine worked.

You were lying on the couch at Ramshackle, contemplating your life choices and whether Malleus or Lilia was the greater threat to your sanity, when Ortho appeared at your door.

“Big Brother has summoned you to Ignihyde!” he chirped, far too cheerful for your emotional state.

“What did I do now?” you groaned, throwing an arm over your face.

“I think it’s good news!” Ortho said, clearly hiding something.

Given that this was Idia, “good news” could mean anything from “I found a new game to play” to “you’re about to be the first human test subject for my latest invention.” Against your better judgment, you followed Ortho.

When you entered Idia’s room, he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his hair flickering an anxious shade of pink. He didn’t even look up from his console, which was just a black screen because he’d obviously forgotten to turn it on in his panic.

“Uh, thanks for coming,” he mumbled.

“You did send your little brother to fetch me like I was being summoned to the Underworld,” you deadpanned, crossing your arms.

Idia winced. “Y-yeah, sorry about that. I panicked, okay?”

You sat down on the floor across from him, waiting. His hair crackled as he kept fidgeting, his gaze darting everywhere but you. Finally, he took a deep breath and blurted out:

“So, I’ve been analyzing your recent behavior, and it’s, uh… come to my attention that… maybe you like me?”

You blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift from mumbling to outright accusations. “Analyzing my behavior?”

“Yes!” he squeaked, gripping his knees like his life depended on it. “The weird flustered thing you do when I talk to you, the whole ‘anime figurine extravaganza’ that nearly killed you—don’t think I didn’t hear about that, by the way—and the fact that you’ve willingly talked to me more than once. It all adds up!”

Your mouth opened, but no words came out. He looked increasingly panicked.

“I mean, if you don’t like me, that’s fine! I’ll just—uh, go smite myself with a lightning bolt or something. Lemme call Malleus; he’ll be thrilled to help.”

“Idia—”

“But!” he interrupted, holding up a finger. “If you do like me, I… I think I should tell you that I… uh, I like you too.” His voice cracked on the last word, and his hair flared bright pink. “A lot. Like, an unhealthy amount of 'a lot.’”

You sat there, stunned, as his words hung in the air.

“And, uh, I’m confessing because… well, I’m not sure I’d survive another one of Malleus’s courtship rituals. No offense, but I think he’s trying to kill me. Ortho heard he suggested you bring me a lock of your hair dipped in a mild poison to solidify our bond?!”

At that, the floodgates broke. Exhausted, drained, and done with this entire saga, you leaned forward, cupped his face in your hands, and kissed him. His hair crackled as it flared a near-neon pink, and he froze like a system on the verge of a crash.

When you pulled back, you sighed. “Thank you for finally putting me out of my misery.”

“I—wait—what—” His brain was clearly blue-screening.

“Idia,” you said firmly, shaking him gently. “Yes, I like you. Yes, this whole thing has been a nightmare. And yes, if I have to call Malleus one more time for ‘help,’ I might smite myself.”

He blinked rapidly, finally rebooting. “Oh. Cool. Uh, can I—?” He gestured vaguely, his face red as a tomato.

You rolled your eyes and kissed him again, pulling him into a hug. Somewhere in the distance, you were pretty sure you heard Ortho cheering.

Back at Diasomnia, Malleus scribbled something into his journal. “Another successful courtship facilitated by me,” he muttered, thoroughly pleased with himself.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Lilia said, chuckling from his spot on the couch.

Masterlist

[moonlit-midnight]

Malleus and Yuu being adorable besties be like:

[tacc0yak1]

grandpa doodles before i skidaddle back to work….

[kandlewick]

everyone awoke to malleus defeated. except for you meant to be read as platonic malleyuu but can be read as romantic.

Malleus could hardly breathe. every inhale felt like it was too small, like the air surrounding him was too thin. His lungs were empty, barren, and dry. And then he would exhale. a shaky breath. It rattled his bones and burned in his chest. As if nothing but flames raged in his insides. Before him laid a friend, a betrayed comrade, someone who put too much trust in the wrong people. You. You were asleep there, in a bed of thorns and roses, nestled deep and safe. Each petal cradled your cheek like a picture frame and you were a work of art. It all felt so clinical, so far away that Malleus could hardly tear his eyes away from your sleeping form. while constricted by vines to your familiar bed in ramshackle, no thorns pierced your skin. you knew no pain lying there. only dreams. It hardly felt real.

Malleus had made a mistake. He knew he had as soon as the blot began pouring from behind his tongue. but he couldn't stop it. the delirium. it poured out of him like a cracked glass of sand. In those fleeting moments, nothing had mattered more to him. The blot retched every single negative emotion out of his soul, bearing it for the world to bear witness to. And he was ashamed.

but you and the others had succeeded against him, saving all of your classmates and himself from the curse of eternal slumber. One by one, they all began awakening. Eyelids fluttering in the new morning sun. He awoke to the sound of laughter and cheers while he laid there on the broken floor, alone and empty and so so cold. Quietly, Malleus raised his head to thank? Curse? The Ramshackle prefect that laid beside him.

only, you remained there. asleep. too far gone and too far deep for anyone to reach out to. it was like your soul and body were separated, torn asunder. the only sign of life was your chest moving up and down from the breath that filled your lungs. At the moment, Malleus thought perhaps you were simply exhausted, with the heavy bags under your eyes and the pale complexion dusting your cheeks. Like the others, he thought that you only needed more rest. But days passed and there were still no signs of life behind those closed eyes. The teachers talked amongst themselves, unwilling or perhaps unable to offer any sort of explanation. There were talks about asking for assistance from other bodies but they were quick to be shot down. It seemed like nobody knew what to do with you. Or… your body. 

Nobody took it well.

Malleus in particular had ceased his studies, locking himself away in your room in Ramshackle. Ace and Deuce would appear on occasion, Grim in tow, but the three were quick to make themselves scarce once Malleus made it clear he was not leaving your bedside. He sat there for hours, uncaring of the passing of time as night became morning and dawn became dusk. What were mere days to a nigh immortal fae. If this was his curse, to watch the one human who befriended him and suffered for it waste away from his own folly, then so be it. Every morning, like clockwork, he sat there. Unflinching. Unmoving. Like a gargoyle. His eyes were empty and red, long dried from tears but he couldn’t drag himself away from you - he refused to even think of calling you a corpse. 

This day was like any other. He sat there beside you, his hands in his lap, the book he had foolishly planned to humor to read had been cast aside long forgotten, but for some reason the sight of you there pricked at his heart more than before. His voice came out quiet, weak from disuse, but he made an effort all the same. 

“My child of man.” he croaked, his tone heavy with shame and sadness, “I will not ask you for forgiveness.”

He took a shaky breath. Hesitantly, he reached out with a weak hand and clasped your own. The thorns around you pricked him and drew blood, but he paid no mind to it. He felt nothing. Numb. Malleus choked back tears as he pulled your hands close to his chest and against his still beating heart. He lowered his head in agony as he confessed like a convict at death’s door. “What I have done to you is unforgivable.”

He held you to him. Like if he held onto you tight enough, you wouldn’t fall even more to pieces. “You were my first true friend, my closest companion. The only one who treated me as if I was an equal…” He bit back a sob as he tried to cradle his face between his hands, desperate for your touch to once again warm his bones. But there was nothing. Only the cold. “And now I’ve lost you.”

“And not a day shall pass in the centuries that I am cursed to live will I ever forget your smile.” Then with an almost reverent touch, the prince brought your hand to his lips and pressed a delicate kiss to the back of your hand. His lips stayed there, the taste of salt and skin filling his tongue, but he made no effort to move while he cried.

So far gone was he that he never noticed the batting of eyelashes, the furrowed brows, or the intake of breath. So far gone that it wasn’t until he felt your hand, tiny and weak, press against his dark hair, did he lift his head.

“Good morning, Hornton.”