#planet fitness lunk alarm

[asagi-asagiri]

garnet tripping the lunk alarm at planet fitness bc she got distracted and dropped the 75 pound barbell she was lifting with her weiner

[internationalnewspod]

This week, mammoth meatballs were grown in a lab…or maybe they weren’t, and a Japanese phallus festival censors its own mascot.

Hosts: Kevin Harrison, Mike Wiebe, Brian Camp

Producer & Music: Mark Ryan

Announcer: Nancy Walker

Graphic Designer: Mike Tidwell

Merch

Patreon

[moonshine-dan]

Posting this bc you're procrastinating at the gym aren't you

kirishina seems like he'd be into that "gym girl gets her leggings ripped and her pussy fucked" type of porn

[bathroomcube]

just found out that planet fitness has a fucking "lunk alarm" ????????????

[livingdeadmlm]

saw MK on your list i am clicking my heels and bursting into song. a kung lao fic would be awesome. i feel like no one gives him the attention he deserves

I LOVE KUNG LAO hes so silly I'm a little rusty with MK characters but I'm using what i remember from the games since i played it as a kid

Ill do some SFW and NSFW hcs of dating kung lao a mix of modern day hcs and in game hcs

SFW

What a cutie am I right? he knows it and you know it so he uses that to his advantage.

He likes to say some weird shit and when you ask about it he just looks at you confused

"Did you let in the grass light morning?"

What did you say?"

"??? Nothing babe what are you talking about?"

dinner dates ooooo

Going out to eat and cooking together he considers a good date

In the modern age, he definitely is a gym goer and loves to go to Planet Fitness to set off the lunk alarm. You don't have to work out yourself but if you go with him he tries to show off more than usual hoping that you'd throw some praise his way.

Either has the latest phone or the oldest one known to man no in between

in-game you are his assisted fighter and have a duo fatalities. kinda like In Eyes of Heaven

matching accessories can be bought for the two of you.

calls you baby girl even if you're a guy.

thinks about you all the time at work and how he can't wait to get home and eat and lay down with you

he flirts with you in public places like he's a stranger and you are the lead in a romcom

people in the shop staring as it seems like a romance blossoming before them but it's less interesting when they see once again it is Kung lao flirting with the same man as many times before

NSFW

He believes in fairness so you best believe that both of you leave satisfied no matter what.

Probably not much experience to be had out on the farms but man does he get the hang of everything quick

Head game goes crazy, He is scarily good at it and loves doing it as well

He is not into hitting or anything, he doesn't like the idea of actually hurting each other.

Tug his hair though that's his one exception

He understands taking things slow and will most of the time but at the start of the relationship he gets pretty excited fast and is really hansy grabbing at your hips, legs, and ass like you'll vanish once he lets go

occasionally he still gets that way but has some more self-control

kinda likes getting frisky in risky places and alleyways and when there are people up and walking around in a shared place

his adrenaline spikes but never goes all the way, he insists that that's too far.

if there is distance he sends nudes for sure

with shitty camera quality, he means well and sends them seriously but its hard to keep the mood up when all you have is an 8-bit photo to work with

When you've been on top he has placed his hat on your head, strokes his pride to see it on you while you're enjoying yourself

Probability a Power bottom

[gayelectro]

I went to a Planet Fitness today (masked) for the first time in years (new location to what I've been to before too) and I dunno... The vibe was. Off.

There's a ton of signs saying "judgement free zone", which like, cool that's why my Dad even got a membership since they had a cheap deal years ago and he still is grandfathered into that but also he wanted a place that cultivated a relaxed and neutral attitude towards working out.

But then almost always, right next to a "don't judge anybody" would be a different sign seemingly completely contradicting that? Like I saw a dress code that said no jeans or tanktops? At... A gym? A dress code at a gym that has nothing to do with safety, just judging people's bodies?

And by the weights, they had this big fuckin' alarm on the wall called "The Lunk Alarm" which apparently would go off if anyone in the gym is making too much noise during their workout? Like how is that NOT insanely judgemental? I don't know if the thing was functioning, it sounds fake as hell, but they had so much signage pointing to it. They wanted you to notice the big sign and alarm with potential flashing lights that said "don't be a loud ass".

Hell, they even had a sign being like: "A lunk is a guy who grunts too much and drinks out of a gallon sized water bottle at the gym" and now I'm sitting here like Y'ALL JUDGE PEOPLE FOR BEING HYDRATED AT THE GYM? WHAT IS GOING ON.

I'm just... Still baffled by the contradictions. Seemed very odd. I dunno if that's just that location or a change that's happened company wide, but I don't like it. I'll probably still go back there though since they had equipment I don't have at home.

[fatheroffdensen]

dethklok at the gym headcanons

nathan: reliving his highschool football days. would get the planet fitness lunk alarm called on him for dropping weights and just being too imposing for people to handle. still has good form even if he's out of shape now

pickles: only uses arm machines and makes himself sore but has a good time. tasked with keeping watch on toki and murderface but quickly forgets. does shots in the bathroom

skwisgaar: doesn't want to get sweaty so he just half asses things or walks on the treadmill with his guitar

murderface: tries to max out every weight machine and injures himself, gets laughed at by a girl hip thrusting 2x his bodyweight

toki: just having fun on the assisted pullup machine, easily maxes out everything without breaking a sweat

bonus charles: he of course uses the dethklok gym when he can but he is a fucking beast in the gym. no headphones, no pre-workout, just his inner demons and 6 cups of coffee. hits new PRs every week

[kudzucataclysm]

trying to decide if francis is the type to lift weights silently or go decibel for decibel with the planet fitness lunk alarm

[gratuitousautomaton]

I was at Planet Fitness this morning, working out when I noticed this sign hovering above me like the eyes of Big Brother. I found myself staring, open-mouthed at this big placard on the wall because frankly, it seems fucking insane.

Here at Planet Fitness, there are good citizens and bad citizens and we make sure that everyone in the gym has a perfect eyeline at all times to know what makes a bad citizen.

This is more than a conveniently posted set of rules. This is a corporately created and maintained slur, a shameful identity that the business makes you take on if you behave improperly. Planet Fitness is the only company I can think of that does this! Imagine if you were taking too long in the waiting room at an Old Navy and all the employees started calling you a putz!

The construction of the word "lunk" itself baffles me even more. It's defined as though found in a dictionary - to give this neologism an air of legitimacy so that it can be more effectively used for shame and discipline.

"One who grunts, drops weights, or judges."

Here at Planet Fitness, a good citizen does not grunt. You don't make any audible signs of exertion. You exercise in monk-like silence or else you're a lunk. A good citizen never drops their weights, which is something that you could do accidentally. You could accidentally become a lunk! A good citizen also never judges - I believe this has an implied cutout. A good citizen never judges another good citizen. It's fine to judge a lunk for their lunkish behaviour. If not to invite judgment and social shame, what would be the point of this word at all? Part of its definition, if read literally, invalidates itself!

And then there's a helpful example sentence, describing the typical lunk.

"Slamming his weights, wearing a body building tank top, and drinking out of a gallon water jug."

Two of these supposed crimes are completely aesthetic! Committed not at the gym but at home when you decide what you wear or bring with you to exercise. I don't really know what a bodybuilding tanktop is, but I happened to be wearing a tank top at the time and as I read the sign, I felt myself getting self conscious!

Gosh! Am I a lunk? Did I commit a faux pas by wearing workout clothes to the gym?

I've been at a Planet Fitness when the lunk alarm goes off. It's far more disruptive than the sound of someone dropping weights in a gym. A whooping siren sounds and every head snaps to find the source of the problem. The citizens of Planet Fitness are mobilized to ascertain who triggered the alarm, who fucked up and interrupted everyone's work out, who's the lunk.

And I just think that's kinda fucked up!

[marioguy28]

took a shit at a planet fitness and set off the lunk alarm

[unethicalbagel]

triggering the lunk alarm at planet fitness with my fat fucking nuts

[nanohealth]

fitness,planet fitness,fitness tip,fitness tips,chair fitness,indian fitness,fitness routine,fitness blender,chair one fitness,fitness tips hindi,chair fitness dance,hindi fitness channel,chair fitness workout,woo fit planet fitness,chair fitness workouts,chair one fitness video,fitness blender cardio,planet fitness workout,chair fitness exercises,planet fitness trolling,trolling planet fitness,chair fitness for seniors,planet fitness lunk alarm

[hubrislover]

Hitman level set in a Planet Fitness establishment that incorporates the Lunk Alarm™️ as a game mechanic

[heelcody]

I can't stop thinking about the planet fitness manager when the lunk alarm goes off

[guitarbeard]

Investing countless dollars into constructing a joke about moaning during sex loud enough that it sets off the lunk alarm in the planet fitness

[exxcitement1995]

I pulled the lunk alarm at planet fitness now the lunks are trying to stuff me in a locker