#pixie ass motherfucker

[jiniretracha]

Fake It Til You Make It - a Lee Felix SMAU (5)

Pairing: Lee Felix x fem!reader

Warnings: smut, fluff and angst

Summary: Everything was fine, just completely ordinary, when your ex, Song Mingi texted you out of nowhere, in hopes of making amends. You freak out and tell him you’re in a relationship… with Felix, your best friend. The man who you’ve had a secret crush on for the longest time. 

SERIES MASTERLIST // MASTERLIST // my Ko-FI

CHAPTER 5: The Café Date (WRITTEN)

Word Count: 2.1k

“You ready?”

You took a last look at yourself in the mirror and let out a sigh, as you smothered your sweater and then your fingers went to fiddle with your skirt, deep in your thoughts. 

You were about to see Mingi for the first time since the breakup. And that was about 6 months ago. It’s not that you didn’t see him at all. You’d catch glimpses of him when there was a big game coming up and you went to support Chan. 

But you never got to talk to him, or properly see him with your own eyes, standing in front of you. Heck, not even a simple hi, or locking eyes. Nothing.

You turned around and smiled at Felix.

“Yeah… I am” you said with a grin, trying to convince your best friend you were okay. 

He narrowed his eyes. 

With a huff, you rolled your eyes. “No. I am definitely not. But I have to get through this. I can’t just cancel him at the last minute, you know?” you muttered. 

Felix pressed his lips together to refrain himself from saying anything. Nobody was forcing you to meet your ex. You could stay here with me…, he thought and then frowned to himself. What was that about, Yongbok?, he scolded himself, using his korean name. 

You turned around and saw the expression on his face. “What’s the matter?”

Felix looked up and smiled. “Nothing, butterfly” he shook his head.

You nodded and then let out a hum. “Alrighty, I’m good to go” you said, slinging your bag over your shoulder. 

“Great, let’s go!” Felix chirped, trying to seem the happiest as he could. Even if it was the furthest from the truth. 

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You finished texting your friends and looked up at Felix as he smiled at you. 

“Okay, you’ll text me once the date is over, right?” Felix asked you, caressing the long strands of your hair. 

You pulled your face back with a smile. “It’s not a date, Lix” you giggled nervously. 

“Well… whatever this is” he chuckled. 

“Yeah, I’ll text you, Lixie pixie” you smiled. 

He smiled even bigger when you used that nickname, the one you gave him when you were both twelve. 

You turned around to grab the door handle and looked up, seeing him in a booth, immersed in his phone and gasped. 

“Holy shit, he’s already here” you whisper-yelled, turning around. “Oh fuck, I don’t know what to do”

Felix looked up and saw him, his eyes automatically narrowing. 

“You gotta be chill, Y/N. We’re over him, remember?” Felix asked. 

“Yeah” you whispered. 

“It doesn’t matter what happened between you two, it’s over and we have to stop thinking about him. Remember what Ryujin always says?” Felix smiled.

“Out of sight, out of mind” you sighed. “Well, he is not out of sight right now”

“Well, he was until you agreed to this stupid date, but whatever” Felix looked away. 

“I know, I’m sorry”

Felix looked at you and sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that” 

“It’s okay… well! I gotta be a big girl-” you said and hooked your hands on your belt, pulling it up. “And face my problems”

“That’s my girl” he smiled and you felt a familiar fluttering around in your stomach. Something you’ve been feeling since your adolescence, since you’ve had the privilege to watch him grow into the man he was- okay… we’re about to meet our ex. Not the time, Y/N. Not the time.

He hugged you, out of the blue, and you smiled. “Oh… thanks, Lix” 

He smiled too. “No worries” he said and pressed a kiss to your head. “You call me when it’s done and I’ll pick you up. Also, if he says anything you don’t like, you call me and I’ll get the wolf pack. We’ll kick that motherfucker’s ass” 

You giggled. “I’ll text you. But you needn’t worry about me”

“I always do. You know that”

Stop it, Lix. It doesn’t help… you thought. 

“See you, Lixie” you smiled and walked inside the café. 

Felix watched you and then turned around to look at Mingi, feeling a pang in his stomach when he locked eyes with the guy with the silver hair. He looked annoyed. Felix felt a very unfamiliar feeling fill up his body… he was feeling smug. 

This idiot doesn’t even know a thing or two about you. 

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You felt your heart beating in your ears as you walked towards the table where Mingi was sitting. 

He smiled at you as he saw you and stood up.

“Hey, Y/N” he said with a warm tone. His hands were resting at his sides and they were awkwardly fidgeting, like he didn’t know what to do with them. 

You smiled, not really wanting nor feeling ready to hug him. 

“Hi Mingi. How are you doing?” You asked, sitting on the booth seat as you looked at him, trying to mask as best as you could your anxiety. 

Mingi smiled and sighed. “I’m okay…”

Your head twisted a little. “Why do I feel like that’s not the truth at all?” You chuckled. 

Mingi chuckled as well. “You could always see right through me, Y/N”

“Yeah, I guess that’s my secret talent”

“Well, I’ve been good I guess. You know, academically speaking. I’ve started taking my studies more seriously” he told you and your eyes widened. 

“You’ve told me already but wow… Song Mingi taking studies seriously?” You asked incredulously. “Now, that’s something I do not believe”

He laughed and shook his head. “It’s true. I’ve stopped taking tutor sessions from that awful nerd club. I’m passing my classes” he said proudly. 

“Well, that’s nice to hear, Min” you smiled. And you really meant it. 

Even if there was something going on, the elephant in the room, as to why he decided to break up with you, you were happy for him. He was a nice person to be around and he never treated you less than what you deserve. 

“Yeah… well, tell me about you! I honestly wanted to meet up to just… you know, check up on you and all. It’s been- what? Six months since…” he stopped right there before he could say the word that started with B and the other one with U. 

“Yeah, six months. I’m good, actually. Really good” you nodded. 

“You’ve been at the games, I saw you”

“Yeah, Channie loves it when we go to support him. Well, scratch that. He loves seeing Ryujin supporting him, not us. I just tag along because she forces me. She’s really shy around him, so…” you shrug.

“You’ve always been such a good friend, Y/N” he chuckled at you. 

You blushed. You didn’t mean to. 

“Thank you, Mingi” you nodded with sincerity. 

“What about your classes?”

You shrugged. “Oh, well, you know. You always called me a hot nerd so I guess I’m continuing being that hot nerd I’ve always been” you said and it made him cackle. 

“Oh, shit” he said after he stopped laughing. “I really missed you, Y/N” he said.

Me too. 

“Do we order?” you asked, trying to change the topic. 

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“What’s going on inside that blonde-haired-head of yours, Yongbokkie?” Hyunjin asked. 

Felix was staring at the window, inside his dorm while Hyunjin put down a glass and a bottle of soju for both of them. 

He just sighed. “I don’t know…”

“You jealous?” Hyunjin smirked. 

“No” he deadpanned. Hyunjin arched an eyebrow. “Maybe? Ugh! I don’t know…” 

Hyunjin chuckled as he sat down and opened the bottle of apple soju. He poured two shots and then put the bottle down. “You feel like continuing with the act?”

“Yeah… it’s better than not having her at all” Felix said. “I’m telling you this in hopes for you to keep it to yourself and not blabber it around Minho, Ji and Chan”

“Don’t worry. My mouth is shut” he promised. 

“Okay…”

“Felix?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you love, Y/N?”

Felix didn’t answer. 

“You gotta tell her” he said softly. 

“No, I don’t need to tell her anything” 

Hyunjin sighed and downed the soju shot. “I know it’s scary. Do you remember how long it took me to tell Chae how I felt?”

“Yeah, I know” Felix chuckled. 

“Yeah, well, take my advice. I may be the leader of paboracha and shit. But I know things, believe me or not” Hyunjin smirked.

Felix snorted. “I must be in deep shit for you to say that”

Hyunjin snorted and nodded, pouring more soju for him. “Yeah, you are”

Felix smiled slightly and downed the soju shot, feeling the apple flavoured alcohol burn his throat. 

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“She thought you two were serious?” You asked. 

“Yeah”

“After a one night stand?” you asked with a snort and Mingi laughed as he nodded. “My God, you might think I am delusional, but to think that you’re automatically dating someone you met in a bar because you slept with them? That’s- that’s on another level”

“I know…” 

The laughter died down and Mingi looked up at you. 

“Y/N, I’ve been wanting to apologise” he said with a little smile. 

You almost choked on your smoothie. “For what?” You played dumb. 

He smiled, noticing it. “Um… well. For what happened between us. For… being an idiot towards you” he said, pressing his lips together. 

“It’s… it’s been six months, Mingi. I’m past it” you lied. 

“Yeah, but… I feel like I did you wrong. You’re probably one of the best things that came into my life and I fucked it up because I’m a… loser and my ass was indecisive and- and I didn’t know what I wanted”

You nodded, understanding his point. 

“I just wanted to know that… letting you go was the worst decision of my life” he said, his eyes shining with truth.

You bit your lip and looked away.

You’ve been wanting this confession for six months. You’ve wanted it so much, and it was proof enough to recall all those nights you cried yourself to sleep. 

But now…

You still liked that he had the balls to come and apologise but… it wasn’t enough. You weren’t sure what to say or do or how to move. 

“Thank you… for that, Mingi” you said, finally deciding on what to say. “I’m glad you came here and apologised. Not many men do that, so… thank you”

“Yeah” he chuckled. “I’m- if you let me say this… I’m jealous as shit”

You frowned. “Jealous? Jealous of what?”

“Of you dating Felix”

Oh. That. 

“Oh… yeah” you smiled, unable to help yourself. 

“I honestly saw that coming. You guys always seemed to have a great connection and how you had each other's back it’s amazing. I think it was… a matter of time” Mingi said.

He sounded really genuine. 

“Oh. Thanks” you smiled nervously. 

“How long have you been dating?”

“Well, it’s pretty new, honestly” You said, twirling your smoothie straw. “It’s a shame you didn’t find anyone, Mingi. I mean it”

“Eh…” he shrugged. “Nobody filled your place because- well, you are quite hard to replace”

You chuckled. “What can I say? I’m awesome”

“Yeah. You are” he said sincerely and your smile dropped. “Felix is really lucky. I hope he knows that”

“Yeah, he treats me well” you shrugged, unable to meet his eyes. 

“As he should” he nodded. Mingi sighed and looked up. “I’m gonna go pay at the front. Gotta go. I have practice in an hour”

“Oh, okay” you nodded. “And about that. Chan is really mad at you. Don’t miss practice, please”

Mingi laughed. “Yeah. I’ll try”

You noticed that I’ll try was hiding something that hurt him but you let it slide, feeling like you could ask him about it another time. 

“My smoothie was five I think-“

“No, no, no. I got it. Don’t worry, hon” Mingi said. 

You blushed, recalling that nickname he used to call you. It didn’t give you butterflies as much as butterfly did, though. 

You frowned at yourself for making that comparison in your head. 

“Well, it was nice to meet you to talk and all, Y/N. I hope we can go out to talk a little more in the future” he said, standing up. 

You looked up and nodded. “Yeah, of course, Min. It was nice for me too” you smiled.

He winked and walked away to the front. 

You closed your eyes and huffed out. 

You needed to sort out your feelings now. 

Felix or Mingi. 

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TAGLIST: @velvetmoonlght // @ilovetocas1 // @felixleftchickennugget // @felixleftchickennugget // @skzfairyyydreamz // @still-a-stray // @theinsanebish // @feelikecinderella // @moasworld

[1toreyouapart]

The Lies We Tell

***FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. MDNI. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE***

Summary that tells you nothing: Sometimes everything you ever wanted has been right there, within reach, all along.

CW/TW: Angst, fluff, swearing, friends to lovers, jealousy, smut, fingering, PinV, pet names, friends with benefits, more to come as I actually get things written out.

Just Friends

It's funny how life works sometimes. Someone can tell you they love you in one breath and in the very next shatter your entire reality. One wrong move while driving down the road can alter yours and another person's life forever. A brief conversation with a stranger over a drink and exchanged phone numbers can bring people into your life that you now can't imagine life without them. The latter was exactly how Quinn now found herself in this house, surrounded by the best friends she could have ever hoped for, their banter in the living room bringing a smile to her lips as she dumped snacks into bowls.

The boys had all gotten home from tour a couple days ago, and as always, they had to have a movie night. It sort of became tradition even before Noah had invited her to move in with them. After every tour there was a big family dinner, followed by a movie night where none of them actually paid attention to the movies they chose, too caught up in catching up on everything that happened while they were gone.

"Quinn! Hurry your ass up! I'm starving here!" Folio hollered from the living room.

"Untwist your panties! You're welcome to come help, ya know!" She hollered back.

Truthfully, she should have had someone come help her. The downside to living in this particular house full of guys was that they all were much taller than her. Well, all of them that actually lived there. Which meant everything was up high and she had to climb to reach most things. Meaning it took her longer to get even just snacks together.

"Fucking tall ass motherfuckers," she grumbled, climbing up on the counter to reach some more bowls. She probably should have actually counted how much she needed before starting. Her fault, really. A long tattooed arm wrapped around her waist, hauling her off the counter.

"I swear to God, Quinn. You're going to break your fucking neck one of these days. What do you need?" Noah's voice behind her, somewhat panicked, almost made her giggle.

"Well, if you didn't put shit up so high I wouldn't have to climb to get it! And some more bowls."

Noah shook his head, chuckling. Her best friend and roommate. The person that found her in that bar seven years ago, drinking away the pain of her boyfriend at the time breaking up with her, and somehow took all those broken pieces and put her back together.

When Noah was home they quite literally did everything together. From rock climbing to going to gigs for small local bands. Movie nights up in his room, just the two of them. Shoot, when he was home she barely slept in her own room. Every night, without fail they would fall asleep in his room. It was enough that Jolly had asked them more than once if there was something else going on. And was never satisfied when they told him that they were just friends.

"You could also use the step stool I bought you."

"Step stools are for old people and children. I happen to be neither."

"You're impossible."

"You love me!"

Noah glanced down at her with a smirk as he grabbed some of the filled bowls. Quinn ignored the way her stomach flipped as his dark eyes met hers. Ignored the way her heart began to race. He was her best friend. That she definitely had a crush on. But he could never know that. It would make things weird, and she was happy with the way things were. Truly.

"Come on, my little terror pixie."

Huffing she followed him into the living room. Noah had called her a terror pixie from the night they met. However, the calling her his little terror pixie was something new. And she absolutely hated how warm and fuzzy it made her feel inside. Best friends weren't supposed to feel like that towards the other.

"Fuck off, Bigfoot."

With fake indignation she found her spot on the floor with him, settled right between his legs. Long arms wrapped around her, pulling her back against him, settling loosely around her waist. Quinn didn't miss the look everyone shared, or the way Jolly smirked at them. Like they all knew something she didn't. Or maybe they were, once again, reading too much into the way her and Noah were together.

[omghallucinations]

ateez mingi: time to ruin my life :)

my og impression of mingi's chart stands. can this kid. catch. a motherfucking bREAK?? holy shit bro. it was bad enough when i just knew about the fixed grand cross (with saturn and uranus and mars in there dude like, please, malefic your way to the door). but... 8TH HOUSE SUN??? GIRL???? 8TH HOUSE VIRGO VENUS SQUARE 12TH HOUSE PLUTO??? HONEY??? BABE???? BRO??????? i mean, sun and moon at home is very cute and he does have many positive placements and aspects (that 1st house neptune is cute for example) and all the squares are actually pretty positive long term imo but like, the baggage is so heavy.

god. my heart goes out to u mingi. i mean bright side he is a very compelling combination of talented magnetic and troubled, so. tender-hearted bad boy core?

fixed grand cross: my way or the highway we aren't going ANYWHERE

tbh i genuinely love a square. that aspect supplies energy. nothing gets done without a "hard aspect"--like if you were comfortable, why would you work to improve or change things? howmstever. there can be. too many squares. squares, like saturn, tend to really trade in Fear and Anxiety, and with saturn in mingi's Super Strong Square Factory... Anxiety. Very A Lot Anxiety. oohhhh mingi, honey, are u okay, i love you.

so mingi has a textbook grand fixed cross--see how that square goes all the way around? that's the "grand" in the grand cross. intense influx of energy but like... in fixed signs we're struggling.

we've got...

aquarius uranus "manic pixie dream girl" (14.45º) in the 2nd house

scorpio mars "she's cute but a psycho" (15.40º) in the 11th house

leo sun "ME! by taylor swift" (16.17º) in the 8th house

taurus saturn "have i done enough work to go home???" (16.48º) in the 5th house

(u know how those degrees are all very close? mingi's grand cross is not a "kind of" cross. people usually give a big orb to oppositions and squares, so lots of people might have this aspect kind of, but mingi, no. it's a strong ass cross. the biggest orb is 2º, and most of the other ones are less than 1º. cannot overestimate how important this cross is to his life)

as fixed signs, aquarius, scorpio, leo and taurus all think they're right in a major way and they are not willing to listen and learn, babe. a cardinal sign square or grand cross is very "i will turn this car around." a mutable grand cross is full ass lost. meanwhile fixed signs are stalled out at a random intersection bc they all want to go in different directions and they will not compromise. they're just sat there giving each other the silent treatment, for hours.

mingi feels really stuck sometimes. the fire is blazing away, but the walls are staying put. it creates a fixed idea of how things are, a relentless energy that can eat itself. terrified of losing security. strength becomes an identity. he can get super pissy bc who wouldn't be if they were stuck in all that? he's both 100% always sure he is right about everything and staggeringly aware of the multiplicity of life and that no one knows what truth is, since a grand cross has one of each element so the energy is split.

scorpio mars in the 11th his personal energy/drive to survive if u will 1) takes no prisoners and 2) gets supercharged in public spaces (11th house) like groups and friendships, but also with his goals and ideals.

there's an intellectual vibe to the 11th--it's associated with aquarius--so mingi probably has the ability to remove his emotions in certain situations in order to focus on his goals and making decisions and the bigger picture

(thinking about hongjoong prank telling them he was leaving and mingi immediately like, am i the leader now, while yunho is crying in the bathroom, that's scorpio mars in the 11th)

he's not unemotional--he has a cancer moon dude--but he does have the ability to compartmentalize and kind of be like, ah my intellectual toughness, u wouldn't understand,,

(until his emotions bust out of the cage and they're doing not fine)

mars in the 11th detaches itself a bit to survive--stows the emotions away for later so mingi can make hard decisions

the 11th house is ruled by mars, so that's a strong partnership and an amplifier

you can say co-ruled too, and if we run with that the other ruler is pluto in sagittarius in the 12th house--so he might be driven to act by his deep hidden sensitivity, nebulous guilt feelings or need for meaning. also his deep conviction he is right lol.

leo sun in the 8th well the sun is at home in leo, he can really shine and flourish in his identity with her--unless there are mitigating factors, it comes naturally to take the spotlight as a leo sun. and then uh, we add the 8th house! a strong goth scorpio flavor!

his #journey/search (sag rising) is about his identity (leo sun) and he's gotta do deep transformation (8th house) and um... he has to face some demons. hey demons it's me, ya boy energy

with the 8th house he's really gonna have to look at his own behaviors and choices and how he asserts his ego and like... figure out what's up with all that, psychologically

he has karmic stuff x 1000 with his many 4th, 8th and 12th house placements, so mingi is really sensitive to stuff--his ego (leo) will feel attacked whenever some unconscious possibly past life-y sore spot gets touched, and it's pretty unpredictable

(just between us bros, the 99z have insane and often touchy past life karmic connections so it's not surprising he's primed to be activated by a lot of different things)

the 8th house is ruled by the sun, who lives there, so the whole house gets a boost

the sun is in the jupiter decan, which is the middle part of leo basically, and that connects nicely to his sag rising--expansive, searching, tendency to run away??

(our first two planets in the square are personal/inner planets--they're energy that mingi produces in his personality easily. more outer planets tend to influence inner planets rather than vice versa (like mingi's saturn is working on his sun, his sun doesn't work on his saturn) so the way the squares and oppositions interact are gonna come in here.)

saturn in the 5th something in mingi's childhood felt suuuuper restrictive, like he had to be on guard all the time--home, school, society, whatever--and probably very focused on everything being practical and realistic and grounded (which a leo sun would hate, they live for the Drama).

it restricted his identity in a major way (saturn square leo sun)--that shit makes him self conscious as hell, he'll be fully Himself and vibing one minute and then the next he's like UGHHHHH whYYY am i too MUCH! and beat himself up over it

the 5th house is also the leo house which really doubles the sun-saturn connection--there's a certain amount of enforced practicality and possibly judgment in the way mingi expresses himself that is more learned than part of his personality

the 5th house is ruled by mingi's virgo venus in the 8th, which underscores that judgement quality. he's probably learned to be harsh on himself and others and value the appearance of things, the utility of things, the status quo, which conflicts super a lot with his aquarius uranus--he's learned to be critical to protect himself, but it sux also.

square 2nd house aquarius uranus--problems with authority!! sexy. hot. i am telling on myself too much with that lmao. point being: can't tell him shit. also he also feels lacking a lot--like he doesn't have enough to offer people or enough resources/ability to support what we wants to accomplish creatively or even what "authority people" will let him accomplish maybe? but this makes him want to work even harder--still there's a lingering inferiority feeling that bothers him a lot

opposite scorpio mars in the 11th--conform or be himself? go with the status quo or break free from the norm?? stay put and be safe or completely throw it off and transform himself? fight to the death for his ideals or keep it casual and restrained? big questions!! he probably bounces back and forth between these 2 extremes and it might startle the people around him lmao. one minute he is a rebel without a cause the next minute he wants to conform so bad (for safety). confusing!!

(just let him bounce between the extremes lmao, listen no one is gonna be able to help him find balance here he has to do it himself. this man is so stubborn it's insane. if you tell mingi not to do something he will almost always immediately do it)

aquarius uranus in the 2nd loves to dismantle the system, and the 2nd house is your resources. yeah money is part of it, but it's all resources. mingi might want to like, blow everything up and start over, on some level, but also he clings onto his resources (possessions, people, ideas) for fear of losing them. his values are different from conventional values and he is naturally rebellious against the status quo. also he probably wants to be super self-reliant, so he doesn't ask for help much!!

his resources might fluctuate really intensely over his life--yes, money, but also personal and professional support, personal energy reserves, mental health, all that

he's very aware that he's a unique guy, and he values that difference--the manic pixie weirdo planet is part of his resources as well as affecting them

square scorpio mars in the 11th... 😏 ok it's not actually like super sexy of a placement inherently it's just hot to me, ok!! absolute tons of energy, courage, drive, ability to make tough choices other people usually can't but the energy is super unpredictable and you, again, cannot tell him what to do

there is.... also with the opposition to 8th house.... a lot of sexual energy. and um. creativity? and sensuality? ha ha. anyway. also he may be accident prone.

aquarius is co-ruled by uranus and saturn--uranus is at home and in the mercury decan, which makes communication really important--also very changeable. he might unexpectedly open up and spill all his secrets one day and then clam the hell up the next. and saturn is really getting in uranus's business, huh. it also just continues to bold the influence of his square, since it connects these two again. mingi really feels the burden of Society and the expectations to conform

opposite leo sun his ego and identity is destined for some real intense self-development and transformation, baby!!! the 8th house is already transformation and uranus is gonna supercharge it

also this gives very "bed rot schedule" to me, like uranus opposite the sun is now u see me, now u don't. i think mingi probably needs periodic times to be completely alone in order to like... process all of the stuff he's learned about himself

his uranus is retrograde, which speeds up the urgency--uranus always wants to break free (.mp3) and individuate but with a retrograde uranus that impulse is much stronger. if mingi doesn't figure out who he is apart from societal standards, uranus is gonna force it on him somehow.

uranus conjunct south node--past life stuff babe. he might have subconscious past life situations that fuel a fear of rejection--whatever makes him try to suppress his difference and conform for safety purposes. fear of being shunned kind of thing. it's hard for him to like, fully commit to being himself.

oooh girl, virgo venus in the 8th house square pluto in the 12th 👀

mingi... 100% compatibility with toxic relationships. honey. babe. oh, it's BAD. 😭 he really puts up with shit he should not. he 1000% is like "i love passion" when him and his partner fight constantly about everything and they both cry all the time and then they kiss in the rain one time and mingi's like, u wouldn't understand, this is true love.

like. virgo and venus are not compatible. and then his venus is retrograde. this can be fine. my venus is retrograde. sometimes it's not a big deal it just means things take a while in this part of life. but with everything else going on here... GIRL.

venus retrograde--he's kind of destined to get things wrong for a while before things go right. also life really wants him to figure out his alternative lifestyle (whatever that is) lmao

virgo venus-- well she is... practical??? realistic??? very acts of service???? but um. mingi gets in his own way a lot. he is very Anxiety and nitpicks himself and others out of fear. u know "perfect is the enemy of the good"? that was written for virgo because wow does she need to hear it. mingi cannot relax. he is constantly freaking out and in crisis. (babe!!! 🥺) and crisis is kind of virgo's whole ... thing....

venus in the mercury decan -- ... anxiety. sorry buddy. also he really needs to communicate with his partner and with people in general.

venus in the 8th house--oh mingi wants to like, swap vials of blood on the first date. jk. unless...? i mean he needs a very intense feeling of commitment. mingi is insanely loyal and he expects his partner or partners to be too.

8th house and 12th house both love like. karma. transformation. black holes in the spiritual body. complexes and prophecies or something. occult shit.

8th house 😍 power and death and masochism as a treat 12th house😍 disappearing into an alternate dimension

u know??

with pluto in the 12th, mingi has some real escapist tendencies. maybe he should be careful about like... substances??? especially with neptune in his 1st house??? ha ha??? anyway.

pluto in the 12th means that the Spirit Vibes of humanity plugged into the mingi outlet and now he's downloading all these files that aren't his. um. was that too insane of a simile? i mean pluto in the 12th can really give you the Depression and the Weight of Human Suffering

on some level mingi might feel Responsible for all sorts of shit that's not on him, and he's gonna have to find Higher Meaning in life in a major way in order to feel fulfilled (as a sag rising too)

but pluto square venus.. well. potential for butterfly meme "is this toxic relationship the meaning i've been searching for?"

bright side!!!! both pluto and venus are also chatting to jupiter, mingi's chart ruler.

pluto quincunx jupiter is like an intrusive thought lmao. mingi's kind of harsh pluto disagrees with his cute 4th house jupiter, they're in constant conflict. his idealism basically and his optimism don't agree with his Vague Feelings of Terror and Guilt.

however he can harness the Power of pluto to intensify his I'm Right (philosophically) energy (not necessarily a pro ha hahaha)

taurus jupiter is on a constant, slow and steady quest for meaning and knowledge and she's gonna gain more and more over mingi's lifetime--all this niggling past life stuff harshes his mellow but also agrees that it really wants him to find meaning and dismantle said past life stuff

jupiter is strongly trine venus, so they are loving each other. this is very cute and adorable. people really like mingi! he's fun and enthusiastic! shit often pays off for him! there is a kernel of optimism in his heart that never dies!

since jupiter is his chart ruler, i think when people meet mingi they might experience both of these--like being strongly endeared by him, and also sensing kind of a darkness or a lostness in him too.

lilith conjunct ascendant

mingi is very alluring to people (sex appeal off the charts) but he fears they may Only Want Him for His Body, u know what i mean. he very easily uses his sexual magnetism and sometimes thinks it is like,.. his only weapon i guess? but he also fears that's all people want from him. he may go cold on people randomly bc of this. however he's suuuuper magnetic and charismatic, people probably get jealous of him easily and also often read him wrong.

lilith in sagittarius--he can be really reckless and not see how much he is fully running wild and making his loved ones worry sometimes

lilith in the 1st house, in general-- his moods REALLY affect the people around him and he doesn't realise this. i also have this placement and the other day i was cranky and i was like, huh wait are my terrible vibes really exuding out of me accidentally because i had recently thought about lilith in the 1st house and then i realized that i fully was exuding bad vibes so hard that everyone around me couldn't help but feel weird and i could tell they felt weird! i truly did not know that this was happening i thought i was just Keeping To Myself. this is something mingi does too. he can either fill the room with Happy Positive Energy or he can make everyone go like ... ooooh uh-oh. trainee mingi? i think a lilith in the 1st gives some amount of scorpio rising energy. you'll retreat from people and self-isolate and then maybe blame others for that too.

cancer moon in the 7th house

ok i did a write-up of all of ateez cancer moons already but i wanna connect that here bc of mingi's aforementioned relationship issues--he has a 7th house moon so he really feels the need to connect with others and have that reflected back. adorably, yunho also has a 7th house moon, stop that's so cute aughhhh.

man. what a chart and i didn't even get into his 29 degree cancer mercury or his chiron conjunct juno in the 11th house!!!

mingi... hats off to you bud. that's a lot going on. however, again, tons of potential here bc his chart is forcing him to deal with his shit, yay! does it feel good in the moment? absolutely not!!! but end result wisdom and strength so idk??? man this is a heavy load though. mingi has to do a lot of karmic untangling. bright side he really is so magnetic and compelling and has a ton of ability??

my heart hurts!!! i love him!! i gotta GO!!!

[eruhamster]

I don't think I hate a single other character more than I hate Shuro's stupid ass. Like I understand his function in the series and I still just. Absolutely fucking hate him.

Dude saw Falin enjoying a bug and Manic Pixie Dream Girl'd her and decided he wanted to marry her even though he fucking hates her traits, obvious enough by the fact he hates all of it in Laois.

He fucking hates Laois, who Falin loves more than anything else in the world.

He gets pissed off at Laois and Marcille going to the ends of the earth and committing crimes, both legal and against nature, to ensure Falin is brought back to life, even though Falin would do the exact same for them.

I hate him so motherfucking much. The audacity of that stupid man and his stupid fucking harem. Laois should have punched him more. I hope he was screaming when he realized Falin was covered with feathers and he couldn't look past even when romanticizing her. I hope he finds out that Falin and Marcille are in love and starts crying. Kill that man

[belphiesgirlfriend]

Obey me! Brothers music taste headcanons

——————————————————————————

more like ramblings than headcanons tbh but i had this stuck in my head and needed to get it out, also feel free to send requests for diff headcanons!

Cw’s: none!

Little bit satirical (i over exaggerate sometimes cuz it’s funny) but pretty in character overall i thinkk

——————————————————————————

Lucifer:

• You know this motherfucker listens to classical music and classical music only cuz he’s boring

• Okay but jokes aside i see him listening to like 30’s 40’s 50’s music especially the love songs.

• Like straight up fallout 4 soundtrack music, he’d listen to it while doing paperwork or unwinding

• He’d definitely be really prideful (no duh) about his taste in music, he’d feel all fancy and refined when he tells people

• Type of dude to be like “modern music simply can’t compare to the classics…” shut up grandpa we get it u know bach’s zodiac sign, penis size, and mothers maiden name

• Wants to be different so bad, he’d strictly listen to music from his vintage record player or some shit cause it’s the “most authentic” way to listen, fr acts like a manic pixie dream girl (he’d hit me upside the head if he heard me say that sorry luci🫶)

——————————————————————————

Mammon:

• r&b and spanish music

•but i feel like he’d like 2000s party music from all the clubbing and casinos

• def a weekend listener and like 90’s rap

• but also like i wouldn’t be surprised if he listened to some 90s rock too

• he’d listen 2 sublime or nirvana or local h (i’m projecting on the last one)

• but anyways he’d be a #1 rihanna fan he’d blast her music in his room but then deny liking her💀make it make sense!!

• also he knows her best album is loud CAUSE HE HAS TASTE!!

• also tyler the creator i get the vibe he’d love him

• kali uchis fan too

•ALSO i feel like he had a phase where he listened to juice wrld and was like “these cheating lying females….” after he got his heart broken by a witch YOU CANG TELL ME IM WRONG😭😭 it’s okay though cause he’s embarrassed by it now

• oh childish gambino too duh forgot about him

ALSO LET ME MENTION DINERO IS LITERALLY HIS SONG ITS ACTUALLY HIS

——————————————————————————

Levi:

• this one’s gonna be real fucking short IM SORRYYY

• he listens to anime openings and game soundtracks

• also vocaloid

• that’s literally all i can think of dude

• he’d be like “i don’t have time for normie music…”

• his room is literally that old caramelldansen meme from 2019/2020

——————————————————————————

Satan:

• this one was harder for me to pinpoint

• first instinct would be classical music but it’s canon he likes ska music too so 🤷‍♀️

• i really do feel like he’d listen to all types of music, like a true jack of all traits, if he likes it he likes it so his playlist is allllll over the place

• for some reason i get a vibe he’d really like 80s music in particular though

• the song that pops into my head is who can it be now? by men at work idk why

• maybe even older music i feel like he’d like sam cooke

• OH both him and belphie would like mazzy star and fiona apple idk why but they would

——————————————————————————

Asmo:

• okay crucify me for this one but…mitski I JUSG FEEL LIKE HE WOULD

• but i also see him loving lady gaga a lot cuz he has taste

•omg he’d listen to old katy perry too

•but yea also probably lil nas x he’d have a celeb crush on him

• oh tyler the creator too with his gay ass, him and mammon both love him, they def have done a duet to see u again

• he’d be a barb probably defend nicki too😭

• and as much as it pains me to say it, he’d fucking listen to ayesha erotica and be like “this is so good!!!”, hed post a devilgram story with one of her songs and then get cancelled on twitter

• “I made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement…” and then did the same thing a week later

——————————————————————————

Beel:

• type of guy when you ask him what music he listens to he goes “idk i don’t really listen to music”

• he legitimately looks up “hype playlist” on youtube to work out and that’s the extent of it

• really can’t see him being a big music guy

• if u invited him to a concert or something he’d go though for food

•he’d give you a piggy back ride so u can see better

• tbh if u were to put on music he would not care much no matter how good/bad it is

• you could walk in on him working out and literally listening 2 cbat or some shit

• HE LITERALLY IS CBAT GUY😭 he’d be like “i always use this song when i’m working out..

——————————————————————————

Belphie:

• emo fucker

• i feel like he’d like emo/ 90s rock ( but more “rockish” than mammons 90’s rock)

• but he’d also love any more relaxing music with softer vocals

• he’d be a deftones fan I KNOW GHATS FUCKING BASIC AND UR ROLLING UR EYES BUT LISTEN

• they have the combination of 90s rock but also more soothing calming vocals, theyd literally b perfect

• and for that reason his favorite albums r koi no yokan and saturday night wrist, also their self titled,

• would call mammon a poser for his music taste “nirvana isn’t even *real* rock idiot🙄”

• but nah, also like i said in satans fiona apple and mazzy star fan

• he’d suck so bad though he’d go on twitter and be like, “if you like deftones ur a poser” (while being their number 1 fan, fucking brat) then turn off his phone and take a nap for the funny

[blu3cl0v3rs]

I Can't Explain Ninjago

Season 3: Rebooting Rebooted

So, apparently the world goes on after possessed Satan becomes a DILF, and "The Ninja" apparently went to college or are teaching without a license. But not Trauma Child, he's busy being paraded around Ninjago! Anyways, Spiky, Freezy, Coal, Bluejay, and Meow all become teachers.

Meanwhile, newly named New Ninjago City becomes super duper techy and all of the vehicles fly. The teachers go on a field trip to the tower of the guy who invented all of the new technology: Anxious Tony Stark, who will be called Cyborg. Cyborg has a robot daughter named Pixie Dust, who gets Freezy's heart, metaphorically. Cyborg summons "the Ninja" (obv not including Trauma Child, he's busy fucking around with god's gold powers that he got by sort of taking the other "Ninja's" elemental power last season) and gives them a statue of himself.

These assholes break the statue, but it's okay because it was built to break. It has some funky Hacker Sticks and ninja outfits inside. Now, they're being chased by evil robots because, surprise, the Evil Liquid Cat didn't actually die; he's now a computer virus! So, he's trying to kill them again 👍 The fuckwads run away and put on the outfits that somehow fit them. Also Meow takes a buzzfeed quiz which tells her that she should date Coal, and Gandalf gets kidnapped by Evil Liquid Cat.

The six scamper off to Sensei DILF's house, and Trauma Child gets his ass whooped by running into a pole. They then get jumped by the Evil Roombas, and Freezy makes Pixie Dust turn Normal TM. Trauma Child and Sensei DILF steal a car from the Big Fighter Mech base, and they drive off into the sunset while actively being hunted down. The others go shut down the power, and then Pixie Dust now literally gets Freezy's heart. Or, well, half of it. So, she lives.

Trauma Child wants to use the god's gold powers to travel, but Sensei DILF tells him to shut up and stop, because Evil Liquid Cat can slurp up the remnants to become solid. Trauma Child also kidnaps a baby bird, and the bird's dad almost kills Sensei DILF. But, everything works out. Y'know, until Sensei DILF's chucked into the ocean and Trauma Child is kidnapped.

Meanwhile, Bluejay is mad at Coal because Bluejay wasn't the result of Meow's buzzfeed quiz and they fight, the others got their asses whooped by evil Gandalf because Evil Liquid Cat corrupted him, they learned that the evil robots are now being powered by electric eels, and they figure out that the Evil Liquid Cat was stolen by porple snek, who kidnapped Trauma Child.

"The Ninja" then decide to play the VR game that Evil Liquid Cat is trapped in, and [insert freddy fnaf at five bears reference here]. Anygays they holy grailed the motherfucker out of the game, but surprise surprise! After slurping almost all of Trauma Child's gold power from god, he gains a mostly corporeal form!!!! yayyyyyy 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 so the parkour pisschickens go to space and almost die. again. wooooo.

Oh hey also the Evil Liquid Cat finds the Big Gold-Stick Thing + god's gold weapons from the past and makes it into a portable lava lamp stand for himself. "The Ninja" fight him again, and porple snek shrinks and gets eaten by a robot bird.

They're fighting, it's really intense, all has failed and Ssomething needs to happen Now, and Freezy hopscotches his way over to the Evil Lava Lamp Cat, andddddddd.......

Freezy explodes.

Yep, he sploded 😔

Sorry, he's (supposedly) dead.

First | Previous | Next

—

sorry this took so long, school's been dragging me to my living room (aka hell) and i've been fighting through a writing slump-

Tournament of Smellements will come..... eventually? i'll try my best idk 😭

[lazywillowz]

Ah yes, I love me some delicious character death in the morning.

Anyway let me kill that blue ass pixie motherfucker-

[hazbinhoteloc-ninlil]

Why the FUCK am I finding glitter on me? I don’t own glitter shit, I haven’t been around someone who owns glitter shit!

What pixie ass motherfucker came on my face last night because what the FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?

Where did you come from!?

[aromanticannibal]

Transfem Dabi headcanons :D (edited as of Nov. 2023)

This was prompted by this post by @violet-sumire. Spoilers for Dabi's backstory and the Dabi's dance episode/chapter!

Transfem Dabi uses she/her and xey/xem pronouns. She/her just always felt better to xem and she started using xey/xem to spite people and ended up actually liking them.

As a child, Dabi never really understood why she didn't like being a boy and never wanted to understand, because in her head, being a girl was like being her mom or her sister, someone weak who couldn't help or understand xem. Plus, her dad obviously wanted a son! She couldn't disappoint him!

After she became a villain and started to search for ways to make her dad miserable, these feelings xey had buried resurfaced and she decided to try and figure them out.

At first, xey didn't really know what any of this meant, so xey just tried to be as gender non-comforming as possible. To be the most confusing motherfucker in the room, xer fashion style was honestly horrendous and it was fantastic.

She let her hair grow longer, although it regularly changes in length and looks just fucking weird sometimes because of it burning. just imagine her with a really choppy asymmetrical wolf cut/sort-of mullet.

Entering the League first meant seeing and interacting with a girl (Toga) often for the first time in forever. Dabi tries at some point to imitate some of Toga's behavior to look more feminine, not exactly failing miserably but more so feeling like a moron throughout every attempt at looking like a cute manic pixie dream girl. Xey eventually start to use Toga's cute mannerisms to annoy people (Toga approved™).

The REALLY good thing that comes from entering the League is Big Sis Magne! It's the first time Dabi sees someone who's like xem, and Magne also has way more experience and knowledge than her.

Magne IMMEDIATELY notices Dabi and approaches her with star eyes. Think of this post which is very great.

Despite wanting to keep up her stone faced persona for now, Dabi can't help but feel excited to see someone like her. It actually makes her think of something else than ways to hurt Endeavor, which xey definitely need.

Magne helps xem figure out who she is and how she feels, explaining xem her own experiences and feelings about transness.

Toga actually loves to listen to Magne and Dabi talk about this too, despite being cis (more or less). She really loves hearing Magne's passion about her identity and seeing Dabi happy, which is not an emotion Toga had seen on xem until now.

Dabi figures out her style more, getting to that cool ass outfit we have in canon and realizing xey don't need to wear dresses and skirts to be a woman (anyways she finds them uncomfortable).

She does enjoy heels occasionally because it allows her to make it more painful to get kicked by her (xey definitely wore heels when they fought Hawks and kicked his face into the ground) as well as extravagant jewelry a lot, and when the League figures that out, jewelry shops and Claire's start getting robbed way more often :)

Dabi is like. An actual mystery to anyone who comes across her. Her traits are naturally pretty androgynous, and all of her burns make xer facial traits difficult to see clearly, and facial hair is just out of the question at this point - she presents femininely enough for a villain, isn't that tall, xey wear a thick enough coat to hide the shape of xer body, and no one knows anything about xem anyways, unlike with Magne (who doesn't pass as cis, and who the heroes know the real identity of, leading to misgendering her like in canon). But her voice is deep, like deep. So people look at her and go "yeah, ok, woman" and then she starts talking and they just fucking panic. Who the hell is that. Why am I horny (this is just me I am here too I love trans women with deep voices 🥰🥰🥰🥰).

Dabi fucking loves confusing people. She doesn't care about asshole n°12345 not using the correct pronouns, because that means xey have an excuse to beat the shit out of them or argue with them until they die of exhaustion or give up, and xey love knowing xey make people confused.

Ignoring her relation to others, her vision of herself is pretty clear cut : she's a woman. Boom. That's all. Girl. In a world where she wasn't killing people every Tuesday xey'd probably get on HRT and shit, but in xer current life she doesn't give a flying fuck.

The League also greatly helped her with accepting xemself in different ways. They all always respected her pronouns and correct others (or kill them if needed) if they misgender xem, and they often affirm her gender in small, meaningful ways. Just by being included when Twice says "the girls", or Mr Compress being like milady✨ and shit.

Trying to imagine the canon reveal scene now because I think it would be even fucking better if it was queer. Like everything actually everything is better if it's queer /hj. But especially this.

Dabi would do like usual, laughing her ass off like the queen she is and dancing like xey're on Japan's Got Talent (Japan does have talents clearly).

"Touya" is her deadname here but she won't let that be a reason to have it be forgotten by her father lmao (in canon Dabi reclaims the name Touya, saying he has a really nice name, and later Toga calls him Touya-kun which is btw actually adorable).

She'd probably say something like "You gave me such a nice name" instead of reclaiming it, saying something after like "Too bad I don't like it that much though, what do you think of the one I picked?"

The hair dye thing would be so much messier with more hair lmao it'd be great.

She'd definitely insist on how she isn't the son Endeavor wanted in more ways than one. In English you can't really indicate that much how you're gendering yourself but I know in Japanese it's easier so she'd probably be very insistant on using traditionally feminine words to talk about herself, AND to talk about Touya so Endeavor gets the point.

Bro the fight with Shouto would be so fucked. It already IS in canon (affectionate) but hhh. Sorry I love trans anger I am trans and angry

"How sad, Shouto, you never got to know your big brother. Hope you're not too disappointed to get another sister."

"Sorry you were lied to Shouto, your big brother is a girl."

(As a side note I think it would be funny if Spinner, upon seeing the video Dabi broadcasts to Japan about her identity while shirtless, immediately covers his eyes and panics about seeing a woman's unclothed upper body, making Dabi laugh xer fucking ass off. "Spinner, I don't have anything here you moron.")

I desperately want more insane women transfem Dabi brings me exactly that. Also I'm gay and I want xem to step on me.

That's all for me I have exams tomorrow and I wanna go find transfem Dabi content not created by me now bye

[voidsentprinces]

For everyone but Feo Ul, and G'raha we're just THAT guy

Vauthry: Just sends Ran'jit to get Alphinaud and mostly just Alphinaud, we're just the assistant and thus take it or leave it.

Ran'jit: We're just the person Ryne is hanging out with along with Thancred who he despises for taking her from him. We're just an extra.

Tesleen: We're just the person, Alisaie has gone on and on and on about. And the random guy she overheard in the market one day.

Runar: Just a guy who went from threat to ally in literally 3 minutes. And is on speaking terms with Master Matoya.

Pixies: Literally just wants to play with us, despite knowing Urianger. All the pixies are far more interested in Urianger as a result.

Emet-Selch: Just the latest in a long line of Azem shards whose a pain in his ass. Most of the time, he at least pretends he doesn't care about us personally. Just that we have a sliver of Azem and what that brings out in him. Though obviously later when we summon him, he's like, OH YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

[box-dwelling]

Ok, I am home alone, theatre kid relapsing and I am watching Diana for the the first time. Here's my live reaction. I may also be grabbing a drink because I don't think this can be enjoyed without ideally wine but we'll see what I have.

Excellent news, I have a lovely sauvignon blanc in. The taste is tart and fruity, perfect for this show (pro shot)

Wow we're just thrown in huh

Ok the opening number feels just... Very boring I want song

The actress is... Making choices. Manic pixie dream diana

Camilla is a mild. I said it. Not irl but here, mommy

This feels high on the hunch meter

Ok ok I love this set work

Ensemble are excellent. Living for them

Lizzy is out

Damn her voice is serving

Ensemble! I'm fucking living for them, they're giving 110%

This choreography is so so MUCH and I mean that in the best way. Saving this

Diana's actress is still making her choices...

I have no idea what this pacing is

Will they mention the tampon thing

I'd love for you to have great influence over me Camilla

Charles is not being mentioned because he is very very white bread

I heard about this. This is how your people dance is... Everything I heard and maybe worse

I need to be more drunk

Charles breakdancing really is something

Snap click is a bop I wont lie

Ensemble continues to slay

Barbara's number slaps too

It's not good but it is very watchable

Camilla and Charles' number has some good music too

Damn that wedding dress is insanely accurate

The actual composition is pretty great actually. Just attached to a very questionable book

Diana is wearing a sailor outfit??

Ah yes the iconic giant metal sign saying WALES hanging over the Welsh country side

Fuck the yanks really really can't do Welsh accents

Very very very funny to see Charles' framing of Wales treated uncritically. Even the crown didn't do that lol

I never thought I'd be this pro Camilla. Diana is just so uninteresting in this and she is so so fucking hot

The ballads are by far the worst but I have heard worse

Simply breathe is actually amazing

Diana deserves an edge. I'm glad of this. Give her a gun I say

Maybe it's my mummy issues but I'd let Lizzy strap me down

Give Diana a gun. I stand by this

The rage is a great villian song

The guitar!!!!

"serves me right for marrying a Scorpio" is actually an insane lyric and is a level of camp unmatched

I do also want Sarah to fuck me

Post pregnancy Diana too actually

Pretty pretty girl is also a bop

I don't want to fuck Barbara but I do want to drink mojitos and bitch with her

JAMES FUCKING INTRO PUTTING ROCKY HORROR TO SHAME

GIVE DIANA A GUN AND SET HER ON THATCHER!!!!!!!!!!

I mean mother Teresa was a pos

Glad they're mentioning the aids thing

THE AIDS PATIENTS FUCKING CRITIQUING HER OUTFIT AND ASKING FOR MAKEUP I'd say it was homophobic if they didn't chose the gayest looking motherfuckers in the cast to play them

The boxing ring song does actually slap

Also Diana and Camilla should fuck

Get his ass Diana

This is the ultimate petty bitch musical and and im living

Officers wife is great but it's rubbing too much against my republicanism

That ending is surprisingly effective

Honestly this is definitely insanely camp and not serious but I highly recommend it. It's very fun trash, I do recommend the wine though, that was the shout. Now to finish off my glass I may have a few minutes of love never dies.

[tsuki-sennin]

Sonoooooooo... Sonoshi? Sonohead? Sonoyes. Sono-very busy this week. Didn't have a lot of time (as you can imagine), sooo...

I'd like to make a brief addendum from last time. Sonoshi's Noto form is not an Arashi reference, but instead a reference to Kamen no Ninja Akakage, a manga-turned-Toei Toku production that aired from late '87 to early '88, before eventually making its way to anime form. I uh, have not read this manga nor seen either adaptation yet, but I plan to eventually.

I also learned that Sonoshi is canonically non-binary! From what I've seen, the fans have taken to them somewhat fondly. I do not know what their deal is yet, but I suppose we'll just have to learn now, eh?

Spoilers, I guess...

-Our dog came home!

-The world only needs one of Dog Man.

-Final Boss Time?

-I see the Noto are much more into the whole team thing than we realize.

-How we lookin', Haruka?

-Terrible, okay!

-"You fool! I believe in you..."

-Hello, Sononi! Your dog came back!

-Yeah, smile :)

-Odeeeeeeen!

-How you doin', chef man?

-Wife back. Good job, Kijino.

-Yeah, you tell yourself that, Saruhara.

-I kinda like how... expressive Sonoi's letting himself be lately, he seems like he's really enjoying his life.

-NOI-CHAN

-I love telephone gags so much. Uh, there was this one I distinctly remember from Zack and Cody, from when I was a kid.

-"YOU THINK I'M STUPID AND SMELL LIKE A YAK?"

-Free lunch!

-KNOTS

-Oh hello, Sonoshi! I see you're here now.

-Noooo, the seats!

-You seem like a real freak.

-Tarou, you have very little to say about being rude.

-Is that

-That's a fucking Ocarina.

-Ah, callin' in the fightin' force!

-Yeah you go, shef man!

-What an outfit.

-Sonoshi. There they are.

-They vanished!

-"I'm your new manager."

-"You're too gay to function, you're getting friendly with another chick's man, and you... whew, you..."

-Oh my God, motherfucker has pixie dust.

-Kneel before them.

-"After you've scrubbed all the floors in Ideon, then we can talk about mercy!"

-Announce one's selves!

-Nanaju-hachi Paasento!!!

-Extinguished.

-A duel!

-Haruka's the... warrior poet type, just like Shinichi!

-OH EWWW EARWAX

-The fuck, man?

-Ohhhh, yaaaas, Shinichi, speculate!

-...I think you're aiming a little too high though.

-Oh hey Don Kaito. Yeah, the health inspector came by and shot their cocaine everywhere.

-Disinfect, disinfect!

-Oh, they're actively doing that, okay.

-Sonoshi, you motherfucker.

-Fukeyo, Arashi, Arashi, Arashi! ...yeah, I know I corrected myself about them not being Arashi, but...

-Gonna mop the floor with them, huh Tarou?

-"Kick his ass, Tarou-san!"

-Poor Haruka.

-God, they just... blow away in a whirlwind of earwax. That is... horrendous.

-SONOZA JHKKHG

-I love you.

-"Fighting is easy. It's dealing with that dipshit that's the problem."

-Y'know, it makes incredible sense that Sononi's a master archer. Cause Shinichi just got shot down in spectacular fashion.

-Ohhhhhhhh, we can... steal that, okay?

-Okay, I'm trying to imagine what kinda Hitotsu-ki he'd steal the form of...

-Man, Sonoi.

-Oh yay, Minoru-san's okay! That's good. ...did uh, somebody pick him up from Noto Jail? Cause, like, I definitely didn't see Tarou pick him up when he died at Sonoi's hands the second time.

-My man was about to become a Hitotsu-ki for the fourth time.

-Actually, wait no, more than that, you can just... catch those things whenever?

-Boyfriends doin' rollcall.

-I see Haruka's very happy about that.

-Nah, don't worry Sonoshi, he's just... sorta there sometimes and not there the other.

-Ideon Sentai... Notoranger!

-Had squibs set up the whole time!

-Interrupting Jirou!

-"Get in then, moron!"

-Don! Don! Donbrothers!

-"Oh shit, I'm deeeeead..."

-Noooooo!

-Ohhhh, that's clever.

-Veryyy clever

-Get fucked, idiot!

-"Rest in piss, Hitotsuki!"

-I uh... don't think I can discern what Hitotsu-ki it is. Seems kinda animalistic.

-We already had Uchuu-ki and Ginga-ki, if I remember right. ...Seijuu-ki? Seijuu-Ki, that fits. Our first ever animal sentai, iirc.

-Tiger Peach!

-Dog appears.

-Light of the Galaxy...

-Sonoshi falls!

-See you around, Earwax!

-Ape shall not kill ape, gotcha.

-Oh...

-Ohhhh, Tsuyoshi, what the hell. That ain't bad.

-Shef.

-Tsubasa, we gotta cook.

-I enjoyed Sonoshi's presence in this episode quite a bit, as you can imagine. As a he/they myself, I uh... hope they get a bit more character development than "Obnoxious Bureaucrat", I'd hate to see a rare NB character in a mainstream toku amount to such little screentime and not even get to fight at full capacity in their own form. Naki didn't get to do too much either, still a bit burned by that.

-That being said though, I find Sonoshi very entertaining and want them to stick around as the Noto's very own Don Kaito. Just this above-it-all superhero with a shitton of random skills and resources. ...only replace Kaito's implied smugness with very explicit smugness.

-Right yeah, see you Monday then. ...maybe.

[mentallhealthmatters]

Oh my god wow you really do just hate women. "Shelby is guilty because she broke up with some loser instead of taking his bullshit so she's ableist" do you fucking hear yourselffff victim blaming ass dumb motherfucker

Shes ablest because shes on record saying depression is "just feeling a little lazy and sad" which its not, and she appears to think "narc abuse" aka narcissistic abuse, is a legit thing.

Also i never said she should have put up with him, shes terrible for his mental health and they both wanted different things out of the realtionship, it should have always ended or never happened.

Hell she was even given a chance to avoid him all together, she was warned by his friends, her friends, EVEN HIM about how bad his mental health was and SHE STILL IGNORED THE WARNINGS.

Im not surpised though shes actually joked her type is bad boys with a i change himseld mentally, which is almost ALWAYS A DIASTER AND ONLY PUTS YOU AT RISK. And comes across as the genderbent equivalent of men romanrizing manic pixie dream but convient ignoring all the *why* that is: mentally ilness and just because it looks like theyre having fun on the outside, doesnt mean its mentally effecting them BIG time.

Which in wilburs case it was.

But what do you expect from the "depression is just feeling a little sad and lazy" woman? Like.

[rastronomicals]

6:34 PM EDT July 31, 2024:

Goatsnake - “Hot Rod” From the EP Trampled Under Hoof (2004)

Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm

Best spoken word intro since the Pixies and field hockey players. No, wait: this is better.

‘1977, and my friend had just joined Black Oak Arkansas. No shit. Shawn Lane.

We were 16 and he was in Black Oak. Wearing Yak boots and fur. Anyway, he just joined them so me and some friends cruised up to Jackson, Tennessee to see 'em play. Had a brand new Camaro. Got there, did some ludes, got high, had a great time.

After the show, Shawn said Jim Dandy had missed his plane, if we could we give him a ride to Memphis. Fuck yeah.

So halfway there, he sparks up this joint that to this day is the best pot I’ve ever smoked. Homegrown in the Black Oak Arkansas Compound. We got so high he asked us to pull over to get something to drink. All of a sudden we were back on the freeway, none of us could remember even going into the store, like we completely blanked. But we did manage to get him to the airport and I ain’t seen him since.

After dropping him off, we had to drive back home to Little Rock, it’s only about two and a half hours away. I’d stashed a half a lude and a half a joint way underneath the console. Well, about forty miles outside of Little Rock, I was doing about 80 following a truck when I got hit in the face with a spotlight. Busted! Arkansas State trooper! Star on the car, *bad* motherfucker.

I couldn’t believe it. They found the shit. We were so scared. They were being dicks, threatening to beat our ass. Felt like Deliverance or something. They were taking us to jail and I asked the cop a question and he said to the other fat cop: 'Big'n, if that boy says one more word, I want you to smack him in the teeth with your billy club.’

–

[stxend]

sometimes im haunted with the knowledge that if i was thin and didn’t realize i was trans i would have been a manic pixie dream girl ass motherfucker. luckily im fat and ugly and transgender so when i go dancing in the rain it’s just a nuisance to the neighbors rather than intriguing and romantic

[sunshinemoonrx]

Lightspeed Rescue 6-8

Difficult to put into words the emotion of seeing the rangers beat the monster from the sentai episode being adapted in the first 2 minutes, then stop at a rumbling sound in the distance...wait...what's that...?

Cut from the ancient demon Mad Max car reveal directly to the OP. Howling.

Although the funny thing is the vehicle fights with this goofy thing are really quite good. All three of these episodes had good original action--7 had two ranger teams going at it in a real nice bit of character-through-action, and 8 gave Chad's actor--in addition to some characterisation finally--a chance to really flex his martial arts skills.

anyway I knew there was an episode where they try to replace the team with robot rangers but I assumed it would be like...they don't have the power of the human heart...! and they say that but the actual core of the episode is clearly that when this motherfucker turns up and says "the US government has built its own power rangers, and they're programmed only for combat", that is Scary

So hey, points?

The preview for 8 made it seem like an old martial arts rival was gonna turn back up for some heated drama "I never could defeat him" accidental yaoi, but it turns out no, it's literally just some random guy who drives up and goes "oh shit that's the blue ranger. I have a sudden need to beat his ass". which is a different kind of accidental yaoi I suppose even if his girlfriend kept daring him to (where did she go at the end??).

Also just look at this dipshit. Yeah he looks like a Brian. If you haven't seen this show and are imagining a blue ranger named Chad as equally Some Fuckin Guy, no he's actually kind of hunky.

Anyway Kelsey in this one is only reinforcing my interpretation of her as a Manic Pixie ADHD Lesbian. She got a full-on stammering tsundere moment out of their head tech lady Joel's been spending the whole show failing to date, and ends the ep promising to teach Chad how to chat up girls, which is clearly meant to be "I, a girl, know how girls like to be talked to", but all her scenes so far just make it seem like a specialty of hers.

GoGoV 9

Very cool to look at, but also kinda confusing? So it goes.

On looking it up, this one guest-stars a face role for Tanaba Chie, normally a suit/stunt actor. Her most recognisable role was as one of Kakuranger's Flower Kunoichi, but she also suit-acted Dappu from Carranger and the Tackle Boy robot from Ohranger--

Which explains why they engineered a scene where she's lined up with four suited rangers doing Sentai Team Moves like she's trained for them, which she is--but it's a real headscratcher story-wise. They have it so a monster's power causes her to absorb GoPink's "power", but that doesn't let her actually transform, because the changer was made for Matsuri. So...what "power"? The GoGoV aren't mystical warriors, they're just rescue workers in special hazard suits. They don't have super-strength out of suit or anything, but...I guess for this episode they do? Or something? Most of what she does with the "powers" is acrobatics and shooting a pistol.

I'm not trying to be an Ummm Plot Hole! person here, it's just pretty apparent how much it's awkwardly stretching to accomodate "look we really wanna have Tanaba Chie doing sentai moves sans helmet", and hey, fair enough.

Oh yeah, and is this the first season where they swap around who says the Important Lines and initiates the roll-call/finisher based on whose episode it is? It's always a cool idea.

Also, I can't stop thinking about how this line in the OP is almost a direct quote from the Quran. It's a good sentiment.